#uh oh pete!

[kissporsche]

who could have seen this coming-

[nomaptomyowntreasure]

favourite patrick moment, from the full video

so much (for) stardust - fall out boy - o2 arena, London (Nov 3, 2023)

[jiaoliqiao]

Kinnporsche » Episode 4 // Episode 12

[compacflt]

Is Ice just as oblivious when men are hitting on him? I know you had him clueless and unaware he was on a dinner date with his female classmate but I wonder if there are some guys that clock him as gay and then flirt with him.

generally clueless (as in, simply not devoted to paying attention anymore) but not stupid. obviously if you beat someone over the head when you come on to them they’ll figure it out eventually. he might even figure it out quicker with guys because it’s more “out of the ordinary” so to speak

im imagining for instance him and maverick going out to a bar in the early/mid 90s and maverick is off putting the moves on someone else (because he’s maverick but also perhaps to make ice jealous [like a 25% success rate]) and ice gets clocked and hit on by the guy next to him… and his reaction is like 50% “not interested 😒🤨” and 50% “not interested 😌💅” his needs are already being met no WAY this guy could compare to mav 😋

[fruity-phrog]

R-Remember when I said I had a cursed NPMD au in mind? Uh- I had to change some of the designs of the Nerdy Prudes but. Yeah.

There are so many questions this AU presents. Are the nerdy prudes popular? Why does Steph crave a boon from them? Does this AU have Stephgrace or Lautski? Does Grace die at the end? Does Pete die? Which of Richie and Ruth is Duke and which is MacNamara? Does the Shine A Light plot still happen? The answer to all of these is Please Stop.

[pete-white-jar]

*angry ear flick* nya.... hey, why do you get to play guitar hero while i do the chores? make billy do it!

w...what...? you just wanted to see me in my new maid outfit? *blush* don't even try to flatter me, meowy. it ain't gonna work... *tail swish*

[thehigh-waytohell]

"if you're having girl problems i feel bad for you, son

i got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one"

[annoyingfobbie]

van days peterick showering together “to save on the water bill”

Oh you know pete would totally say this to patrick for like months and then eventually patrick is like "oh my ngod fine we can have shower sex" and then afterwards joe literally never lets them live it down and is always making fun of them

[slautertm]

{ @dorkustm continued from HERE } [ text : steph ⭐ ] aw, steph [ text : steph ⭐ ] i love you and i miss you, too. but i would hope that you're still able to have at least some fun at the party without me [ text : steph ⭐ ] nothing nowhere near as exciting as talking to you

[ text : ⭐💚 pete r spankofki my favorite person eve r 💚⭐] : fun? wihout you? no imposibel never. nope nope npe [ text : ⭐💚 pete r spankofki my favorite person eve r 💚⭐] : your the lfe of the partyy bby [ text : ⭐💚 pete r spankofki my favorite person eve r 💚⭐] : and. th best. [ text : ⭐💚 pete r spankofki my favorite person eve r 💚⭐] : and! and didd you know you have really brown eyes.! [ text : ⭐💚 pete r spankofki my favorite person eve r 💚⭐] : and they're pretty and beautiful and nice and it gives me an Idea

[bruciemilf]

I’m on the second episode of My Adventures With Superman and I KNOW I know, this deserves to be Clark’s show, BUT HEAR ME OUT A SECOND.

Imagine the Waynes didn’t die and Thomas is trying DESPERATELY to buy the Daily Planet from White, but to absolutely no avail.

“For the last time, Wayne, you can have this company when the Gotham Knights win a Stanley Cup.”

“Y’all cheated last year and you KNOW it, White! Come on! We knew each other for 20 years—“

“Not true.”

“You gotta have ONE nice thing to say about me! You saw my charity records? My trip to the Amazon? I found a goddam dinosaur, for Pete’s sake!”

“And you sent it to the Gotham museum.”

“…Well yeah, it looked real pretty.”

“Look, Wayne. I can either give your ego the stroke of the century, or keep Lane and those two idiot interns in check, but I can’t do both. Now get out of here, or—“

Clark clearing his throat, holding two cups of coffee in his comically large hands, “Uh, the coffee machine broke, so I had to run to the store. Is this a bad time?”

Thomas whistling, because what the FUCK. “Christ, boy, how tall are you? How tall is he, White? You a security guard? You WANNA be a security guard?”

“Uh, Clark Kent. Idiot intern,” Clark introduced himself politely despite Perry’s grumbling.

Needless to say, Thomas Wayne is…Intimidating.

“I’ve heard about your research on metahuman physics, Mr. Wayne. It’s brilliant.”

“Oh, that? That was all my boy, really. He’s got all these ideas about reinventing the healthcare system for everybody or something like that. Hell, he wants to invent some bandaids for that Superman fella. “

“That,” Clark blinked, “Actually sounds amazing.”

“Right?. The other day he came to me like, ‘Can I have 30,000 for a research expedition?’ You should’ve seen him in his little lab coat, — cutest thing. Hold on, I have pictures.”

Clark expected a particularly eccentric 10 year not, not a — gorgeous— adult man in what looked to be a great amount of eyeliner and one hell of a scowl. “He’s…” gorgeous, “He seems interesting.”

“Ain’t he? You should meet him sometime. Hates talking to the press, but, I’m sure we can arrange something. “

“Good luck with that. I tried interviewing the kid alone for 10 minutes and Mr. Wayne here kept getting in the way. Probably because he has something to hide.”

“Bruce ain’t really made for the camera, so I had to step in, ya know how it is. He ain’t really the independent kind.” Thomas shrugs. “I know, I know, — you gotta leave em to fly sometimes, and while I bet he’d look cute tryin’,”

Thomas chuckles, but it doesn’t sound amusing. At all. “No bird leaves MY nest.”

—

Clark finds out why Perry can’t prove Thomas Wayne is Batman. It’s because he’s wrong. He’s listened to Batman’s heartbeat before. And Thomas doesn’t stutter.

Bruce Wayne does, thought.

[compacflt]

wip wednesday: a couple quick fem!mav updates, dw about it

[cosmal]

✪ — oh em gee what about ❛ this is a good look for you. ❜ with peter parker

stained

summary — peter spills a drink on your top at a party.

content — tasm!peterparker x fem!afab!reader, mentions of nudity

note — sorry this is super short! more of a baby blurb!

You sit on the edge of the toilet, naked from the waist up, while Peter is hunched over the bathroom sink, scrubbing at your shirt.

"Peter, just leave it, I'll wash it at home," you say softly. He looks really determined.

He'd spilt his drink all over your top downstairs at the party you're at. He'd felt horrible and insisted that he could get the stain out in the sink. The green stain out of your white top.

Turns out dawn soap and lukewarm water don't do the job. "I'm sorry, baby, really," he frets, holding the top up where it drips into the sink. You're not sure if he's made it better or worse. You appreciate him nonetheless.

"Pete, thank you, really," you start, shifting uncomfortably over the plastic lid. You cross your arms over your chest, where your bra digs into your skin, and look at the wet mess Peter holds in his hands. "It's okay. But now I have no top."

Peter drops the shirt looking really guilty. He feels horrible because he's ruined one of your favourite tops and he's also the reason you're half-naked in some random condo.

"Shit," he curses to himself.

He doesn't think twice. Peeling his jacket off, he stands at your knees and holds it out. "Here," he says bashfully. It's a thin jacket, made of nothing really. It's all you've got and you're not about to start complaining.

You stand to slip it on and hate it when you realise it has no zipper. Or any buttons. You pull it taut over your front and start to feel anxious. "Can you see anything?"

He pulls the collar forwards over your collarbones and smooths it out over your shoulders. "You're safe," he smiles. You watch his throat bob under the skin of his lightly stubbled neck. "It, uh, it looks really good."

"Pete," you groan while tipping your head back. "I'm naked, in the middle of the city, wearing my clumsy boyfriend's jacket, and you're getting turned on?"

"What?" he gawps, clearing his throat, "I am not! You just suit it, that's all."

You pull it tight around your middle and roll your eyes. "You're unbelievable."

He plays with the hem between his fingers, keeping his eyes planted to the floor momentarily. "It's a good look on you."

You straighten your back and ignore the way he's making you feel. Time and place you remember. "Right, we're going outside unnoticed and you're gonna hail a cab with those long arms of yours."

"You don't wanna swing home?" he asks.

"You don't have your shit," you grumble. It'd be convenient, but also reckless.

"My shit? You mean my suit?" he laughs, wrapping a hand around the hinge of your elbow. "I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that because I deserve it."

Peter makes sure you're decent before he opens the door to the bathroom. You stand behind him, hanging off his arm, hoping his broad shoulders will do you a favour and hide you well.

There's a drunk guy on the other side for the toilet presumably. Peter moves to the side to shield you on instinct when you squeak out a surprised noise. You push your chest against him to cover the slip of skin that struggles to be covered by the jacket, and let Peter guide you down the hall.

You lean in to whisper in his ear, "You owe me, Parker."

You get out onto the street when he says, "I'll show you how sorry I am when we get home."

[caicie]

Tony: "Kid, where's my tequila?"

Peter: "Uh. I don't. I don't know, Mr Stark."

Tony: "…okay, I really didn't think I'd have to be the one to have this talk with you but I think you need to hear it. Look, kid, I've been where you are. You're trying to be cool, maybe getting mixed up in some things you know aren't right-"

Peter: "THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED."

Tony: "Pete, there's no need to be embarrassed. God knows I'm not in a place to judge you but I want you to have a better life than I did. Making good decisions as a teenager. Maybe. Maybe I should call May. She'd probably be better at this."

Peter: "Don’t call Aunt May! Look I didn't. I didn't drink your tequila, okay?"

Tony: "Oh really? You just took my tequila, didn't drink it and then what? Poured it on- oh my god, Peter tell me you didn't."

Peter: "It was a light stabbing! It works in the movies!"

Tony: "A light stabb- YOU GOT STABBED!?”

[bruisedboys]

❛you got me flowers?❜ + ❛aw, did you miss me?❜ with tasm!peter maybe?

thank you for the request blair!!!!! xx

tasm!peter parker x gn!reader

Peter’s never really been very nimble. Even after becoming SpiderMan, he’s still a little bit of a clutz. He’s lanky and much taller than he thinks he is, so he’s always under-compensating for his size and walking into things.

He makes it through your bedroom window without incident, but then he trips over a book on the floor and can’t catch himself because his hands are full. He goes thudding into the carpet. There’s a pause, and then he hears the shower shut off.

“Hello?” Your voice echoes from the bathroom, much too frightened for Peter’s liking. Whoops.

“It’s me!” He calls out, scrambling to his feet and ditching his effort to surprise you. “It’s Peter, honey, I’m sorry.”

Another pause. Then, “Oh, okay. Just give me a minute!”

Peter’s happy to wait, though he’d go barging into the bathroom if it was up to him. He sits on the end of your bed and brings the bouquet of flowers he’s holding to his lap. It’s a little wilted from his fall, a few petals on the outermost layer crushed. He doesn’t have time to fix them before he hears the bathroom door open and your footsteps down the hall.

“Are you trying to rob me?” You’re saying, amusement clear in your soft voice. “You aren’t very stealthy, Peter.”

You appear in the doorway with a huge smile, a towel wrapped around your otherwise bare body and your skin all dewy and fresh. Peter feels instantly like you’ve put him under a spell.

“I wasn’t trying to rob you,” he argues. His head is swimming. Worse when you cross the room to stand in front of his knees with a sugar sweet smile. He looks up at you, starstruck. “I was trying to surprise you. There’s a difference.”

You raise your eyebrows. Peter’s eyes catch on your bare collarbones. They skip over the dip of your throat, your sternum, the sparkling diamonds of water that cling to your skin.

“Is there?” You ask, amused.

“Uh. Yeah,” Peter says dizzily. He’s completely forgotten what he was just talking about two seconds ago. You smell exquisite. Your skin is smooth and shiny with moisturiser. He might die and you’ll be the culprit. He blinks once, twice, thrice, but his head doesn’t show any signs of clearing.

You giggle at his inadequacy, a sweet, airy sound that has Peter’s heart doing somersaults.

“Aw, Pete,” you say, faking sympathy. You take his face in a soft hand, fingers pushing to the space beneath his ear. “Did you miss me?”

Peter blinks hard. Your fingers set his skin on fire. “What makes you think that?” He asks, aiming for accusatory but landing on clumsy and starstruck.

You burst into laughter. Peter knows very well that you’re laughing at him. He finds he doesn’t care, not when you lean over him and press a kiss to his forehead.

“You’re cute,” you tell him fondly.

Peter blushes all the way up to his ears. Thankfully, you’ve become distracted by the bouquet of flowers in his hands and you don’t notice his very intense blush. He wouldn’t mind if you did, actually. You might call him cute again.

“Oh!” You gasp softly, and lift your eyes to Peter’s. “You got me flowers?”

Peter nods. “Yeah,” he says. Finally, he’s managed to say something without embarrassing himself. “Do you like ‘em?”

You nod vehemently. “They’re lovely, Peter. Let me get dressed, okay? And then we can put them in some water together.”

You touch his cheek and then move away, leaving him in a dizzying cloud of sweetness. He can still smell your moisturiser, still feel the heat of your hand where you’d touched his face.

“Cool,” Peter says, his voice two notches too high. Not his smoothest moment.

[ellecdc]

Her darling

I was wondering if I could request Sirius black with a short gf? Something cute and fluffy or generally anything you like to go with because your writing is just immaculate.

(I’m not even sure if 5’3 is counted as short but I’ve always been the shortest among my friends so yeah)

Love you and your wonderful blog 🩵🩵

Hahaha I’m 5’3 too - stopped growing first out of all my friends so that was devastating lol. Thanks for your request babes!! 🫶

Sirius Black x short fem!reader

CW: teasing about height, fluff

Sirius was beginning to regret agreeing with James, Remus, Peter, and Lily to go to the muggle amusement park. Sirius was already one of the shortest amongst his friends, save Pete and Lily who both clocked in at 5’8, meaning most of his day was spent trying to climb onto Remus’ back in order to spot you in the crowd.

“For the love of Merlin, Sirius, I am not that short.” You seethed as you snagged Sirius’ arm, pulling him down (rather roughly) from Remus’ hips.

You could tell Remus didn’t particularly appreciate Sirius using him as a human stepladder, but he couldn’t help but appreciate the teasing opportunity it lent to the group.

“Poor darling,” Lily murmured in faux sympathy, “we’re going to have to find you one of those child leashes that parents attach to their child’s wrists.”

“Sod off, the lot of you.” You groaned and crossed your arms petulantly over your chest.

“Uh oh, almost nap time?” James commented, which earned him a kick in the shin. “Ouch! Okay, okay. Merlin.” He muttered as he moved well out of your kicking range.

“Sorry dollface,” Sirius sung to you, not sounding sorry at all. “I just worry; don’t want to lose you in the crowd.”

You moaned again but didn’t bother gracing him with a response.

You’d been waiting in the summer heat for the newest rollercoaster that was all the rage of this little town when you were nearly at the front of the line.

“Okay, quick. Y/N, stand here – we need to make sure you’re tall enough.” Peter called. And now you were mad – even Peter was taking a go at you!

“Are you- I will not!” You sputtered.

“Ma’am, please step forward.” The bored teenage attendant said, causing everyone in line to turn and look at you.

You burned with shame and more than a little bit of rage as you stepped forward obediently, standing beside the cardboard height measurement tool in the shape of cartoon giraffe which had a speech bubble above him reading “riders must be this tall to ride!”

Sure enough, you were indeed tall enough to ride, and were told to return to your spot in line with the same bored tone as you were beckoned forth in.

You moved back to the group; Remus, Peter, and Lily all looking as if they were about to suffocate under the effort to restrain their laughter, Sirius and James having no such qualms were laughing boisterously.

You spent the rest of the time in line with your arms crossed, pointedly ignoring any of your friends attempts to converse with you.

“Oh my love.” Sirius cooed and stepped up behind you, hooking his head over your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your middle, using his hands to try and pry your own arms from your body. “I’m sorry, dolly. I didn’t think the attendant would join in.”

“You’re an arse.” You muttered back.

“I’m your arse.”

“That’s not a romantic thing to say.”

“What would be a romantic thing to say?”

“That you love me.” You admitted shyly; glad that he couldn’t necessarily see the state of your cheeks, though he could likely feel the heat emanating from them from his place on your shoulder anyways.

Sirius cooed again and turned you in his grasp, peppering kisses all over your face. “I thought that was a given?”

You moaned petulantly again. “No. You’ve been so mean to me.”

“I’m sorry, lovie.” He cooed, sounding slightly more sorry than he had before. “If I was nice to you, that would mean I didn’t love you. That’s why I never make fun of Remus.”

“Oi!”

“I love you.” He proclaimed, ignoring Remus’ outcry. He leaned in closer, whispering so only you could hear it. “I’ll even beat up the attendant for embarrassing you – how about that?”

You considered his offer, eyeing up the bored worker ushering riders through the gates.

“Probably best you don’t – looks like a student’s summer job. You could end up in muggle jail for assaulting a minor.”

Sirius hummed in acknowledgement, lips attached to your forehead. “Worth it to avenge my little lovie.”

“Out of all of us, do you really love me the least?” Remus commented, interrupting your conversation.

“Of course not, Moons. I obviously tease Evans the least.”

“Hey!”

[thebearer]

Can you imagine reader doing the “do you know a mike wazowski, he said he knows you and his best friend sully from school?” Trend from TikTok On carmen, Richie, fak and uncle jimmy. And they are all stood around thinking where they would know this person from and discussing it for like an hour and then they bring Tina into it 🤣, and then they get annoyed that the person would even think about approaching you and asking you any thing like that 😂🤣.

Also literally obsessed with your writings 💕❤️

committed to the bit, truly, you get sydney to call the phone and you answer it. pretend to have a whole conversation, then come out.

"that was weird."

carmen's head snaps towards you. "what? what was weird?"

"the guy on the phone." you try to keep your face still, knowing your phone is propped in the window. "he called and said he wanted a reservation, i told him we were pretty booked and he could check online, and he said he knew you guys. that he was family."

"family?" carmen's brows crease.

"who's family?" richie comes in, buttoning his suit.

"the guy on the phone."

"what's his name?"

"wazowski?" you furrow your brows. "i think i'm saying it right. wazowski? mike?"

"mike wazowski?" richie repeated, you nodded. he and carmen look at each other.

"i dunno him-"

"-no, is he- fuck." richie pinches the bridge of his nose. "is cicero still here?"

"oh, please, don't tell me there's more." jimmy snides. "thought you two had it under control."

"no, not that." richie rolls his eyes. "who was, uh, neil's cousin? the one that's been married like twelve times?"

"paul?"

"yeah, what's his last name? wazowski?" richie waves his hand.

"wazowski? no." jimmy frowns shaking his head. "wazowski? no, that's uh... who is that?"

"he said he was coming with sullivan." you take a stilling breath to contain your giggles. you know you can't look at sydney or you both will break in laughter. "sully?"

"sully?" richie, jimmy, and carmen question.

"i dunno who any of those people are." carmen huffs.

"yeah you do. is it- is it pete's family?" richie frowns.

"yeah, i think it is. seems like pete's family." jimmy grumbles.

"doesn't he have that weird uncle-"

"-oh shit, yes. at the wedding. god, that guy wouldn't shut up." jimmy groans. "i thought pete was bad."

"don't call him back." carmen looks at you. "if he calls again, just get richie."

"me?" richie scoffs. "why do i have to talk to that guy? i don't wanna talk to that guy. make sugar do it. it's her family."

"yeah but it's your job, jagoff."

they don't realize later, until the video is posted, that it was in fact, a joke.