#univeristy english

[rhiannonwrites]

Entering my lemon water first era. Notice how I said “first” and not “only”. A girl’s still gotta have her cappuccinos 💅🏾

Keep up with me on tiktok ✌🏾

[florasstudyjournal]

studying before class, 21.08 WED

good morning! i am studying before class, are we shocked? no.

anyways, just going through to take the notes, then ill see what more i can read of Othello before class. considering i was supposed to have finished it. honestly i forgot that it was the reading for this week (could have sworn it was for week 5, but i fooled myself 💔💔)

[sapphicacademic]

important question for studyblr

there is a correct answer - plz rb for a larger sample size

[umilily]

waking up from a poorly timed nap to my friend once more making the worst possible life choices

[enfinizatics]

me pulling up to my american english pronunciation oral exam knowing that the eagle says RAAAAAH 🦅🦅🦅

[pathetic-gamer]

Pentiment's Complete Bibliography, with links to some hard-to-find items:

I've seen some people post screenshots of the game's bibliography, but I hadn't found a plain text version (which would be much easier to work from), so I put together a complete typed version - citation style irregularities included lol. I checked through the full list and found that only four of the forty sources can't be found easily through a search engine. One has no English translation and I'm not even close to fluent enough in German to be able to actually translate an academic article, so I can't help there. For the other three (a museum exhibit book, a master's thesis, and portions of a primary source that has not been entirely translated into English), I tracked down links to them, which are included with their entries on the list.

If you want to read one of the journal articles but can't access it due to paywalls, try out 12ft.io or the unpaywall browser extension (works on Firefox and most chromium browsers). If there's something you have interest in reading but can't track down, let me know, and I can try to help! I'm pretty good at finding things lmao

Okay, happy reading, love you bye

Beach, Alison I. Women as Scribes: Book Production and Monastic Reform in Twelfth-Century Bavaria. Cambridge Univeristy Press, 2004.

Berger, Jutta Maria. Die Geschichterder Gastfreundschaft im hochmittel alterlichen Monchtum: die Cistercienser. Akademie Verlag GmbH, 1999. [No translation found.]

Blickle, Peter. The Revolution of 1525. Translated by Thomas A. Brady, Jr. and H.C. Erik Midelfort. The Johns Hopkins University Press, 1985.

Brady, Thomas A., Jr. “Imperial Destinies: A New Biography of the Emperor Maximilian I.” The Journal of Modern History, vol 62, no. 2., 1990. pp.298-314.

Brandl, Rainer. “Art or Craft: Art and the Artist in Medieval Nuremberg.” Gothic and Renaissance Art in Nuremberg 1300-1550. The Metropolitan Museum of Art, 1986. [LINK]

Byars, Jana L., “Prostitutes and Prostitution in Late Medieval Bercelona.” Masters Theses. Western Michigan University, 1997. [LINK]

Cashion, Debra Taylor. “The Art of Nikolaus Glockendon: Imitation and Originality in the Art of Renaissance Germany.” Journal of Historians of Netherlandish Art, vol 2, no. 1-2, 2010.

de Hamel, Christopher. A History of Illuminated Manuscripts. Phaidon Press Limited, 1986.

Eco, Umberto. The Name of the Rose. Translated by William Weaver. Mariner Books, 2014.

Eco, Umberto. Baudolino. Translated by William Weaver. Mariner Books, 2003.

Fournier, Jacques. “The Inquisition Records of Jacques Fournier.” Translated by Nancy P. Stork. Jan Jose Univeristy, 2020. [LINK]

Geary, Patrick. “Humiliation of Saints.” In Saints and their cults: studies in religious sociology, folklore, and history. Edited by Stephen Wilson. Cambridge University Press, 1985. pp. 123-140

Harrington, Joel F. The Faithrul Executioner: Life and Death, Honor and Shame in the Turbulent Sixteenth Century. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2013.

Hertzka, Gottfired and Wighard Strehlow. Grosse Hildegard-Apotheke. Christiana-Verlag, 2017.

Hildegard von Bingen. Physica. Edited by Reiner Hildebrandt and Thomas Gloning. De Gruyter, 2010.

Julian of Norwich. Revelations of Divine Love. Translated by Barry Windeatt. Oxford Univeristy Press, 2015.

Karras, Ruth Mazo. Sexuality in Medieval Europe: Doing Unto Others. Routledge, 2017.

Kerr, Julie. Monastic Hospitality: The Benedictines in England, c.1070-c.1250. Boudell Press, 2007.

Kieckhefer, Richard. Forbidden rites: a necromancer’s manual of the fifteenth century. Sutton, 1997.

Kuemin, Beat and B. Ann Tlusty, The World of the Tavern: Public Houses in Early Modern Europe. Routledge, 2017.

Ilner, Thomas, et al. The Economy of Duerrnberg-Bei-Hallein: An Iron Age Salt-mining Center in the Austrian Alps. The Antiquaries Journal, vol 83, 2003. pp. 123-194

Lang, Benedek. Unlocked Books: Manuscripts of Learned Magic in the Medieval Libraries of Central Europe. The Pennsylvania State University Press, 2008

Lindeman, Mary. Medicine and Society in Early Modern Europe. Cambridge University Press, 2019.

Lowe, Kate. “’Representing’ Africa: Ambassadors and Princes from Christian Africa to Renaissance Italy and Portugal, 1402-1608.” Transactions of the Royal Historical Society Sixth Series, vol 17, 2007. pp. 101-128

Meyers, David. “Ritual, Confession, and Religion in Sixteenth-Century Germany.” Archiv fuer Reformationsgenshichte, vol. 89, 1998. pp. 125-143.

Murat, Zuleika. “Wall paintings through the ages: the medieval period (Italy, twelfth to fifteenth century).” Archaeological and Anthropological Sciences, vol 23, no. 191. Springer, October 2021. pp. 1-27.

Overty, Joanne Filippone. “The Cost of Doing Scribal Business: Prices of Manuscript Books in England, 1300-1483.” Book History 11, 2008. pp. 1-32.

Page, Sophie. Magic in the Cloister: Pious Motives, Illicit Interests, and Occullt Approaches to the Medieval Universe. The Pennsylvania State University Press, 2013.

Park, Katharine. “The Criminal and the Saintly Body: Autopsy and Dissectionin Renaissance Italy.” Renaissance Quarterly, vol 47, no. 1, Spring 1994. pp. 1-33.

Rebel, Hermann. Peasant Classes: The Bureaucratization of Property and Family Relations under Early Habsburg Absolutism, 1511-1636. Princeton University Press, 1983.

Rublack, Ulinka. “Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Female Body in Early Modern Germany.” Past & Present,vol. 150, no. 1, February 1996.

Salvador, Matteo. “The Ethiopian Age of Exploration: Prester John’s Discovery of Europe, 1306-1458.” Journal of World History, vol. 21, no. 4, 2011. pp.593-627.

Sangster, Alan. “The Earliest Known Treatise on Double Entry Bookkeeping by Marino de Raphaeli.” The Accounting Historians Journal, vol. 42, no. 2, 2015. pp. 1-33.

Throop, Priscilla. Hildegarde von Bingen’s Physica: The Complete English Translation of Her Classic Work on Health and Healing. Healing Arts Press, 1998.

Usher, Abbott Payson. “The Origins of Banking: The Brimitive Bank of Deposit, 1200-1600.” The Economic History Review, vol. 4, no. 4. 1934. pp.399-428.

Waldman, Louis A. “Commissioning Art in Florence for Matthias Corvinus: The Painter and Agent Alexander Formoser and his Sons, Jacopo and Raffaello del Tedesco.” Italy and Hungary: Humanism and Art in the Early Renaissance. Edited by Peter Farbaky and Louis A. Waldman, Villa I Tatti, 2011. pp.427-501.

Wendt, Ulrich. Kultur and Jagd: ein Birschgang durch die Geschichte. G. Reimer, 1907.

Whelan, Mark. “Taxes, Wagenburgs and a Nightingale: The Imperial Abbey of Ellwangen and the Hussite Wars, 1427-1435.” The Journal of Ecclesiastical History, vol. 72, no. 4, 2021, pp.751-777.

Wiesner-Hanks, Merry E. Women and Gender in Early Modern Europe. Cambridge University Press, 2008.

Yardeni, Ada. The Book of Hebrew Script: History, Palaeography, Script Styles, Calligraphy & Design. Tyndale House Publishers, 2010.

[loveysloveclub]

THE MAN! UMICH AU chapter i. new opportunities arise

in which, molly gets the opportunity of a lifetime.

molly maxwell had never been the type to have any sort of luck on her side.

she passed all her classes, and therefore graduated high school, because she worked hard. she made an all boys hockey team by training everyday and being good at what she does. and her female rugby team won their finals because again, she was good at the sports she played. everything she had in her life, she had because she worked for it.

so, when a video of molly smacking a grown male hockey player into the boards at one of her home games last year vent semi viral on some nhl fanpage, she was feeling pretty lucky. the hit had gotten her sent off for the rest of the game, but she didn't quite care. playing in a male dominated sport on a male dominated team had its ups and downs, and the downs were something molly had become accustomed to. she was treated differently as she was seen as an easy target, and the man in the video had made the mistake of thinking she wouldn't retaliate when he shoved her a little too hard or swiped her feet out from underneath her. molly had no issue breaking a few rules for a few men to get what they deserved.

her luck streak continued when she received an email by someone by the name of brandon naurato, who happened to be the head coach of the mens umich hockey team. molly, who was taking the bus home from practice at the time, almost fell out of her seat when she read the email, asking her to come play for his team.

all events lead up to this exact moment, with molly laying on the floor of her bedroom as clothes surrounded her. her three best friends rummaged through her closet, all discussing how jealous they were that she was going to go to frat parties and meet cute american guys.

mika holland was the newest addition to the group, molly having met her when she was dating one of her teammates. the relationship didn't last long, but molly got a new friend out of it. she was the shortest out of the four, but had the loudest personality. you could hear the girl making inappropriate jokes and laughing at her own jokes from a mile away.

summer smith and molly had once hated each other. constantly at each others necks throughout the first few years on high school. but when they were forced to pair up for an english project in the tenth grade, they quickly found out how similar they were and both abandoned any distasteful feelings the two shared. summer was down for anything, much like molly.

finally, scarlett hamilton, molly's best friend since the fifth grade. the two were always together, where one went the other followed. she would be molly's hardest goodbye, albeit her own mother. the two were never not stirring up some sort of plan to get the rest of the group into trouble. life would become significantly more boring once molly moved away, leaving both troublesome girls to their own devices.

"molly, do you think any of your teammates are gonna be hot?" summer asked as she continued to go through molly's entire closet, throwing things into either the 'yes' or the 'no' pile. "oh my god, you have to get with one. that is the story of the fucking century!" mika exclaimed, following her statement with a loud laugh.

"i'm not getting with one of my teammates, you freak." molly shot back, screwing her face up in distaste. "what a waste of an opportunity." mika retorted, flopping onto molly's bed.

scarlett hummed in agreement before flipping her phone screen around to show the rest of the girls whose instagram she was stalking. it was no surprise that she was stalking the univeristy of michigan's hockey team page. "this one's cute." scarlett zoomed in on one of the players. "i think that's my new captain." molly grimaced before returning to packing her belongings.

the four girls quickly fell into a vast conversation, topics ranging from who summer saw at her grocery store job to whatever scarlett's father had done to piss her off this morning, and finishing when mika got too in depth about her sex life.

and as summer finished packing molly's bag, signalling the end of their last hangout for a while, molly couldn't help but tear up about how much she was going to miss her friends. her only friends. the only people who weren't blood related to ever love her unconditionally.

moving across the world to play hockey was already proving to be the most difficult thing molly had ever done.

and she hadn't even met the team yet.

next chapter

[thenameswinterfics]

Just an introduction post.

I just realized I haven't made an introduction post yet. How silly I am...

Well... Greetings, beautiful people!

Few things to know about me: I'm Winter, I'm 25 years old and I'm from Italy. I'm studying Graphic, Visual and Multimedia Communication at the univeristy and I'm currently in my final year. I'm an INFP, my zodiac sign is Pisces and I'm bisexual.

For a long time I was always on the silent side of fandom, in constant lurking mode. If you see a silent shadow watching over your work, that's basically me.

This is a short list of the fandom I'm in (most actively): The Last Kingdom, Vikings, Vikings: Valhalla, The Wheel of Time, Game of Thrones (with A Song of Ice and Fire content), House of the Dragon, The Witcher, Shadow and Bone, Spartacus, ATLA (the cartoon) Legend of Korra, Merlin, Dragon Age and Baldur's Gate.

In my spare time I also play a role-playing game called "Dungeons and Dragons". I'm mostly a player, although I'm thinking about planning my first campaign as a Dungeon Master. My favourite thing is writing backgrounds for my OC's, maybe I can share them with you in the future.

Just for your personal information, this is exclusively a writing blog. If you want to see my ramblings about fandoms, you can find me on my main blog here (I know, it's quite messy but... hey! That's me, a messy girl!)

A special thanks to my beloved @zaldritzosrose for the icon, banner, mini banners, personal dividers and headers and dividers for my current and future fics! 💜

FIC SECTION

I'm currently writing for Sihtric Kjartansson, a character from the Netflix and BBC show The Last Kingdom. It cannot be ruled out that in the future there may arrive fics from the other characters from the show, as well as from other characters from different fandoms.

I will cross publish my fics on AO3, you can find the links below.

Due to university and personal commitments, and the fact that I'm a terribly slow writer, I haven't planned a regular posting schedule.

If you want to be tagged in my taglist, just send me a DM or leave a comment!

English is not my first language. You may find some grammar and vocabulary mistakes. I'm sorry for this, I swear I'm practicing!

SIHTRIC KJARTANSSON X READER

THE BLUE BUTTERFLY || Words: 4K || Warnings: Fluff, missing scenes, mention of word "whore" || AO3 LINK

After returning from Datchet, Sihtric spends some free time with you, and a group of blue butterflies catch your attention.

VISIONS OF HELHEIM || Words: 6,1K || Warnings: Fluff, angst, missing scenes, mention of past abuse, mention on non-consensual relationship (not described in detail), mention of character death, mention of graphic violence (not described in detail). || AO3 LINK

Sihtric has never forgotten his mother, whose presence continues to haunt his dreams. And as the Battle of Dunholm draws to a close, you help Sihtric mourn her.

HEARTS OF STEEL, LOVE OF SILK || Words: 3,9K || Warnings: Fluff, domestic fluff, smut, bad smut, very very bad smut, p in v sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), breeding kink, Daddy Sihtric is a warning itself. || AO3 LINK || 18 + MINORS DNI

While you and your children enjoy a peaceful, domestic life in Rumcofa, Sihtric comes up with a pleasant surprise for you.

BOUND TO YOU || Words: 4,6K || Warnings: SMUT, mention of death, monsterfucking, oral (m receiving), fingering, p in v sex. || 18 + MINORS DNI

Since becoming the new lord of Dunholm, Sihtric has ruled alone, with no woman at his side to call "wife". Things begin to change when you begin to appear in his dreams, a human so perfect that he believes he has finally found the one, a blessing from the gods. Little does he know that behind your appearance lies a devil in disguise.

SIHTRIC KJARTANSSON X OC

Coming soon...

SIHTRIC KJARTANSSON CROSSOVERS

Coming soon...

[nolshru]

so, I failed to meet the requirements of my offer to get into Cambridge univeristy, which like, sucks, I legitimately had everything done except for the getting the required grades

there's an issue with the grades that I was asked to get though, they were like... fucking insane

in order to have gotten in, I would've needed A1, A2, A2 in my advanced highers, those being a scottish qualification where... basically nobody gets scores like that

they had equated A levels and advanced highers, either because they didn't care to actually look into the difference, or because they wanted to have fewer scottish students there, either way it's a pretty bad look imo

I still messed up though, like, A2, A2, C5 is not great (the C5 is English, which like, was horribly taught, but still, the other 2 which I was confident in being A2 sucks)

[poletje-s-teboj]

very soon you'll see (kris guštin/martin jurkovič)

HEY! after approximately 6-8 years i picked up writing again and decided to write a story about my two fave members. please keep in mind, i'm not a pro at writing, more like a beginner! english isn't my native language so i am excusing any grammatically or vocabulary mistakes. i hope you enjoy my story! have fun! :)

some day in april 2023

the sky of ljubljana was covered in fog, just as always. you couldn't see anything rather than a big shiny dot in the sky that somehow resembled the sun. the weather itself wasn't that cold actually, it just seemed like a typical day in november when you look out of the window, eventhough it was april and started to become quite hot in the afternoon, not the unbearable heat of the summer months tho. right now, it was kinda cold, so cold that kris needed to wear his warm coat and a scarf to not suffer from the weather.

he had been up all night, he attended the birthday party of one of his friends of university, who just turned 23. kris hasn't seen his friend from university for over a year now, since he hadn't been in the building after he got his bachelor's degree in chemical engineering. his friend was already doing his master's in the same field. it was a wild party: he met many of the friends he hadn't seen in ages, the party even had an own dj and of course, there had been lots of alcohol. (quite normal for an univeristy party) kris could still feel the alcohol in his body, just not as much as he felt it when he was still having the time of his life on the party.

the wind was blowing his brunette hair into his face, which annoyed him slightly. he only focused on getting his hair off his face which made him ignore whatever was happening around him.

he had been so busy fighting against the wind that was trying to cover his face with his own hair that he didn't recognise at first that someone's been tapping on his shoulder.

"hey kris, what are you up to so early in the morning?" a familiar voice asks him. he turned around and was now straight looking into the eyes of his friend and former bandmate martin. he smiled at kris and he looked slightly confused at his friend. kris felt some nervousity before talking to martin, that he had never felt before. it was an unknown feeling, the only similar thing was the way he felt when he talked to his ex girlfriend for the first time. but that can't be the same thing, or could it be? kris simply blamed it on the alcohol that is still left in his bloodstreams after the excessive party night with his university friends.

"hey martin, uhm i wanted to ask you the.. same.. th..thing." kris began to stutter and martin gave him a confused look. there had been another strong wind breeze and kris decided to hold his head against it to clear his mind and that for god's sake he'd stopped stuttering and talking bullshit to his friend.

"you good?" asked martin with a slightly concerned voice. "yes i am. i'm sorry for the stuttering, i guess it's the alcohol's fault. i was at a party of one my friends from my classes at uni. he turned 23 yesterday." he sounded better than in the first sentence he said to his friend but still kris only got one thing on his mind.

why did he start to feel the same way as he did when he talked to one of his girlfriends for the first time? he had never felt anything in that way towards martin, or any of his bandmates. they were just best friends, nothing more. at least for now.

"that must've been a great party. you sound quite exhausted" martin said while he was getting closer to kris. his feelings started to multiply and he couldn't help it. it's the alcohol's fault, kris thought. or maybe he was just in denial. he doesn't know it yet.

"i am. we were partying until the first busses were leaving ljubljana  so everyone could get home safely."

"i'm glad. and i'm also glad that you're finding your way home now too." martin made a short pause  he looked onto his phone and then straight into kris' eyes. "your bus is arriving in approximately 6 minutes. at least this is what the app says." he said this with a little grin on his face which made kris smile a lot. he smiled so much as if his crush would confess her love to him. something was for sure playing with kris' feelings at this point, he just needs to find out what.

"uhm.. thank you for looking that up. thanks martin." he couldn't resist but letting his little smile out. out of pure interest, he asks martin where he was heading so early. "ah i'm just going to pick something up in uni. one of my friends has borrowed a textbook from me and i need it back because i need to study for my exams." martin replied while he was occassionally checking his phone as if he was waiting for a certain message. kris was awkwardly standing next to him while he was waiting for the minutes to pass by so he could get onto his ride back home and go to sleep. he had been really tired. maybe these feelings towards martin were a hallucination caused by the unhealthy amount of alcohol kris has consumed in the past hours.

in his opinion, martin looked exceptionally handsome and put-together today considering the early hour and cold morning weather of their beloved home city. he was wearing a black coat and a black scarf that protected him from the cold. his blue sweater peaked through a little bit. he liked it when people looked well dressed. his hair looked like he stepped out of the hairdresser's just a few minutes ago. it was shining even with the only very limited light the morning sun of ljubljana offered that day.

he always thought martin was a good looking guy but never in the way he did now. he felt some feelings towards him. he couldn't describe where they came from, his guess was the alcohol from the party. but little did he know. kris began to stare at him for a little bit, but not too much, he didn't wanna make it too obvious. "ah alright, that's great, martin. good luck with your exams"

"thank you kris" he smiled at him and came even closer. from afar, kris could notice a bus approaching the station. it wasn't his. not even the bus martin is supposed to take. for his own surprise, martin threw his arm around kris' shoulder kinda pulling him even closer. kris had no idea what was going on but he didn't mind it because it's a usual thing he and his friends do.

"we all gotta study even if we don't like it, right kris?" "yeah, absolutely right" kris said it in a really awkward tone. he had no idea what to do now. his feelings were going crazy as if someone confessed their love to him while martin just put his arm around his shoulder.

his feelings were different now. they weren't as they usually had been. he felt kinda felt some deeper things for his friend that randomly occured on a friday morning in april. he started to feel warm and a bit nervous in martin's presence. he started to breath a bit faster bc of the rising nervosity. "how are your friends at uni doing? is their study going well?" he asked him while his brown eyes were looking directly into kris'. "they are doing great, their studies are going better than expected. master's degrees are no fun, you know that better than anyone" both of them were laughing a slight bit after kris said the last part of the sentence.

"look the 13 is coming!" martin shouted while pointing into the opposite direction to the bus that's approaching the station. kris was ready to leave forgetting that his friend has wrapped his arm around his shoulder. martin pat his shoulder and stroke through his hair for a short moment and kris' heart felt like it was about to explode. these small gestures made his feelings for his friend even more confused. "bye martin, see you!" martin let him go and waved goodbye at him with his typical heartwarming smile he always puts on. kris stepped onto the bus and after taking a seat, he noticed martin was outside of the bus waiting for it to leave and waving kris goodbye for a last time. he smiled and waved back at him.

kris was unsure about his feelings. he didn't have any ideas where they came from rather than the alcohol from the party last night, or at least the rest that has remained in his bloodstreams. maybe he was in love. maybe he wasn't. maybe it was the alcohol. he didn't know it yet. maybe he would find that out soon. the bus took off and he started to see his friend further away every second.

martin was one of his best friends for many years now, they had lots of great memories together and kris was scared that his new discovered feelings about him might destroy their friendship. he couldn't live without martin as a friend, he needs his caring personality in his life. he helped him with many problems. for now, kris urgently needed some sleep.

later that morning

sleep was necessary for kris. that party has drained him in a way he had never thought it would. he thought he was good in terms of coping with alcohol but apparently he wasn't the best. it showed this time. after he arrived at the door of the guštin home, he immediately opened the door quickly meeting his brother in the entrance hall.

"morning maks" he said with a quite voice. he wasn't even sure if his brother could comprehend his greet. "good morning kris, you lasted long at the party, wow" his brother jokingly answered while kris was throwing his jacket and scarf onto the hanger. "yeah I didn't expect it either ways. it was a good party tho" kris explained to his brother while he was closing the door. the next stop was the kitchen because he wanted a glass of water after the countless glasses and shots of alcoholic beverages.

he wanted to do his body a favour by drinking something healthy after all of this. maybe the glass of water will wash down any of the feelings for his friend he doesn't know how to cope with them. he poured himself an ice cold glass of water and he drank it all in one shot. maybe they are gone now. maybe it was just a thought of drunk kris. maybe they were there now. maybe he really felt something for his friend deep down. he didn't know it yet, but he'd find out soon. that glass of water was the most soothing thing kris had experienced this morning. it felt like the cleanse of his soul. he was now ready to go to sleep, he just needed to brush his teeth, otherwise he would feel disgusting if his teeth were not brushed before going to sleep. so he made his way over to the bathroom, he grabbed his tooth brush, poured the toothpaste over it and started brushing his teeth. he looked at himself in the mirror and thought "it's time to go to sleep, kris. you're tired." he actually was more than tired.

not much was missing for him to fall asleep in the bathroom of the guštin home. he somehow managed to drag himself over to his bedroom, where he simply fell onto his bed, not even having energy to change or take off his clothes. the only thing kris now wanted was to sleep, which succeeded. while he was trying to fall asleep, he thought about the things that have happened to him concerning martin. he couldn't find a way to explain it to himself. they have never been there, but why are they here now? kris was clueless. this little conversation with martin felt like a turning point for him, for some reason he felt different towards him. the feelings were less in a "close friend" way, more a "i'm in love" kinda way. he still blames it on the amount of alcohol he had consumed in the past day. they were probably caused by the endless drinks he had at the party. he didn't wanna think about it anymore, he just wanted to sleep. kris turned to the other side with his whole body and just like a miracle he fell asleep.

in the afternoon

"he is always sleeping in late"

"no wonders when he's been out till sunrise or even morning"

"but sleeping till 3pm is only a solution for our son because he doesn't work a normal job or go to university like most people his age do."

half asleep, half awake, rubbing his eyes and stretching, kris heard his parents arguing in front of the door of his room. again. it didn't happen often but sometimes the topics were either kris sleeping till the afternoon or maks playing video games and streaming late into the night. after his sleep, kris definitely felt like a different human being, like he had practically been reborn. he was ready to get up and trying to brush his hair out of his face with his fingers. after opening the door, he met his dad waiting for his brother to leave the bathroom.

"dobro jutro, kris" his dad said to him while he was impatiently waiting for maks to get out. he said the same thing to his father, avoiding any eye contact. his voice was still quiet from being overused at the party. after his brother got out, his dad got into the bathroom and started to brush his teeth. "well, who's the one to complain now?" kris thought. he walked into the living room where his mom and his sister were sitting on the couch while they were watching the midday news on the slovenian channel. "morning" he said to his mom who was drinking some tea. "good morning kris, I hope you slept well." he definitely did, which he then proceeded to tell her. his sister was busy with her phone, he guessed that she was texting someone of her friends since they had an upcoming birthday party.

his mom made chicken as lunch, from which kris wanted to grab a bite of. she noticed that he was searching for it, so she told it that she put it into one of the kitchen cabinets. "thank you" he said in a kind but still really tired voice. it still felt like he wasn't properly alive. he sat down and started cutting the chicken.

while he was eating, his mom interrupted him: "kris, could you do me a favour?"

he looked up from the plate and turned his eyes towards his mom. "sure, what is it?"

"can you please pick up some eggs, butter and milk at lidl? I need them for the birthday party of maja's friend tomorrow."

picking up groceries at their local lidl? sure. not a big deal for kris. at least he thought so at the beginning. "of course, mom. do you need anything more?" she stired her tea. "no, just these two things. thank you so much"

"no problem."

a few minutes later

kris took his wallet and keys with him from his room and put on his jacket, scarf and shoes. he now was ready to leave the house to get milk, eggs and butter for a birthday cake. he put a little note into the pocket of his jacket with the three groceries he needed to buy, so he'd not forget something.

kris stepped out of the door, locked it and started heading towards the local lidl, which is perfectly accessible via foot since it was only three minutes away from his home. the cold wind that has already hit him in the morning, sweeped through his hair again, causing a completely messy hairstyle. the cold wind brought him memories from that morning and the short talk with martin. oh how much he hopes not to accidentally run into martin at lidl because this is the last thing he wants to experience now. he hadn't thought about this in the past hour but he guessed, the feelings are still there.

kris was a bit embarrassed and too ashamed to meet martin now. but that wasn't a likely thing to happen. martin probably was at university or was studying for his exams now. at least this was what kris was hoping for. he wanted to ban martin from his thoughts now, fearing they'd get too messy. it succeeded. for now.

while walking down the road from that lead from his house to the grocery store, he saw one of his neighbors walking their dog. they greeted eachother and everyone made their own way. he used the entire walk to fight against the wind, constantly putting his hair out of his face.

after that, he shortly arrived at the lidl and kris walked in into the grocery store.

butter, eggs and milk. just three things. it was unlikely for him to meet martin here. kris walked through the alley of bread and sweets heading over to the counter of dairy products. he tried to take his little note out of his pocket, completely ignoring the people around him as he was too busy to get his note out in the fear he'd forget something.

not looking at the people around you was a mistake made by him, suddenly he bumped into someone. he didn't see who that was at first but after he let out an angry "excuse me?" he knew exactly who this had been and it was the person he didn't wanna meet today. kris and the person turned into the same direction, looking each other into the eyes. martin jurkovič.

"goddammit" thought kris. not him again. "oh hi martin, I am so sorry" kris apologized with a slightly shaky voice. "hey kris, it's okay, that happens. what are you searching for?" he asked his friend in his typical friendly voice kris loved so much. he was kinda nervous, but why? he really shouldn't think too much about it. "milk, eggs and butter. i need to get it for my mom because she wants to make a cake for maja's friend's birthday party" he said being a little bit nervous and while he was looking and secretly admiring his looks. not even the wind has destroyed martin's hair from looking good and well put together.

kris kinda wanted to avoid eye contact with him so he decided to look down at the floor, but he also didn't wanna be awkward for not looking at martin while they were talking to eachother. "great, i have to get groceries because bojan forgot to do so. or better said: he didn't want to. typical bojan." he noticed that martin was being a bit sarcastic about this sentence. typical bojan. he only ever said that when he's being sarcastic. "yes, yes, typical bojan. too occupied to go groceries shopping." kris answered, while he was trying to imitate martin's undertone, which he didn't manage that successfully. martin was grabbing the same milk kris wants to get and also some cheese, but kris wanted to wait until he's gone so he can concentrate on his little shopping adventure.

"what a coincidence to see you here today" said martin, while he was putting some packaged ham into his shopping cart. kris decided to look at him again with confidence and answered: "yes. what a coincidence." "as if this is what i wanted now. as if he's the person i wanted to meet today." he thought anxiously. martin looked at him kinda judgy because he wasn't putting anything into his shopping bag. "what are you waiting for kris? do you need to get to some products?" martin said while looking at him a bit judgingly. kris had no idea on what to say now, he couldn't say "no i am waiting until you left because i can't handle being in your presence, otherwise my mind would go crazy". instead he looked around a bit confused and answered with something that randomly entered his mind "oh no i just forgot to put them into my bag haha. i have been deciding for the past few minutes on what type of milk, butter and eggs to get." kris felt that he's starting to turn red, which wasn't nessacarily a good sign. martin was kinda confused now and he answered "oh okay, uhm.. i guess i have everything. see you, kris. goodbye" he pat him on his shoulder and went the opposite direction."bye martin. tell bojan hi from me." "i will" martin said without looking back at him.

"oh shit" kris thought while putting the milk into his black shopping back he got on his first day of university. goddammit, did he notice that something was off? "well, kris, you're stupid" he said to himself angrily. he was so stupid for acting like an idiot rather than a normal friend. he probably noticed that something was off. hopefully not, kris thought. stepping a few steps aside to the next aisle with the other dairy and animal products, he grabbed the butter and the eggs and went to the cashier as if nothing has happened.

after arriving at the cashier, martin was in front of him unloading the shopping cart onto the cashier. kris wanted to be quiet and he acted as if nothing has happened and he hoped, that martin doesn't notice him. while putting his three items onto the cashier martin accidentely turned around. "i didn't think of seeing you again this soon" "yeah me neither" kris said while he was laughing sarcastically a little bit. martin only smiled at him for a short bit and then he turned aroundbagain because it was his turn to check out. "hopefully he didn't notice anything weird" thought kris while he was staring at his friend handing over the money to the cashier. not a lot was going on in kris' mind, it was just him focusing on whatever martin was doing. after he put everything into his cart again, kris waved at him for a last time today (hopefully) and he proceeded to wave back at him. "bye martin" "bye, kris, see you".

kris watched martin keave the grocery store and in that moment, it was his turn to checkout. "5.21 please." the lady said while kris was handing over the 10 euro bill he got from his mom. "that's 4.79 in return" "hvala" kris said and put the things into the bag and left the store.

"why did we meet again and who let me act like an actual idiot there." thought kris while he was heading outside, already being greeted by the strong wind and he headed back home.

a few days later

"that was a great practice as usual, hvala" shouted bojan while he was putting his guitar away.

"absolutely" answered jure while he was trying to get a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket's pocket. all of them were ready to leave, except for kris. he decided to stay a bit to practice on his own. "bye kris" said nace and jan simultaneously and bojan waved at him, jure was already heading back outside. "bye guys, it was nice today!" shouted kris hoping the others would hear him.

he smiled as his friends made their way out of their rehearsal space. now it was just kris and his guitar. he decided to plug it in again and started to play random chords. after a while he began playing their songs. it felt like free therapy. just him and his guitar. for now. his mind shut down, he only thought about playing the guitar right now. all other thoughts were banned from his head. no martin. no feelings, just music. this was what he liked most. this is what he needs from time to time, simply to calm down.

the first song kris decided to play was plastika. it felt like as if he was on stage playing in front of thousands of enthusiastic joker out fans. his free therapy succeeded.

then he moved on to omamljeno telo and dopamin. he hadn't played the extended intro of omamljeno telo in a while, which meant it was time to reactivate it again. "ta pesem mi da občutek kot da letim". this sentence is always stuck in his mind, which a fan told him back in murska sobota last summer. kris wanted to fly now, to make any unreasonable thoughts drift away. his way of flying was simply playing the guitar, he decided to play the song twice. it was pure stress relief for the already quite stressed young man.

from flying and touching the clouds and the stars, he moved on to a song that was written by him. it's all about love and being addicted to it: dopamin. since it was his song, he decided to sing alongside while playing. he tried to not pay attention to the lyrics and their meaning. "to me, you're pure dopamin. to me, i want you even more. when you hit me with your gentle touch, the night turns into a glowing mosiac." martin. he tried as hard as he can not to think about him while playing. however, dopamin wasn't the right song to avoid thinking these thoughts. "life from day to day is an endless flow of lucid dreams about you." he couldn't see anything else rather than martin in these lyrics. it now felt like this song has been unintentionally written about him. after finishing playing this song, he put his guitar away. there's no space in his mind for guitar playing right now, since it has been occupied by his dearest friend martin jurkovič. they are still there. it confuses him. he has never felt that way towards any of his friends before. he had known martin for many years now, but never did kris think about having a crush on his friend.

the last two times they spoke were pure emotional chaos for kris: he couldn't look him in the eyes, otherwise he'd turn red. avoiding eye contact would make martin think he's acting weird. kris needed to find a way to make it through and didn't let something to be noticed. in his eyes, martin was not only a great friend and a smart guy, but also incredibly good looking. kris won't forget the sight in the early hours after getting home from a party, seeing him already being so well put together even due to the strong wind. his sense of humour and the way he cared about his friends, the thought of it made kris go straight to heaven. now he can't deny it anymore, he fell in love with martin. the feelings weren't only caused by the alcohol, the drinks just have awaken them in him. he leaned back onto the couch, throwing his arms onto the rest.

he in- and exhaled deeply, trying to relax, as suddenly the door opened. someone stepped into the rehearsal space, kris jumped up to see who came into the room. he couldn't believe his eyes as he saw a tall brown haired guy with a middle part and a beard enter the little room.

his eyes began to widen as martin shouted "hey kris! why are you still here?", he was approaching him and sat beside him onto the couch for a short moment, before he stood up to walk to the cabinets in the room. now kris needed to figure out how he'd deal with the situation now. either no or full on eye contact. quickly, he chose option two. "hey martin, long time no see haha. i decided to stay a bit longer to practice my own solos a bit. therapeutic activity, you know?" kris said while being slightly nervous in martin's presence.

"what brings you here?" he asked, while martin was searching for something in one of their drawers. he answered kris' question while he was pulling out a black leather notebook out of a drawer in one of their cabinets: "bojan forgot his lyrics journal and since i am always passing the space when i'm on the way to university, he told me to stop by and get it for him. he's got a great idea for a new song, he told me ealier this day." "good to have a rehearsal space that is quite central." kris said and he noticed that martin was approaching him to sit down next to kris. he shouldn't feel anything out of the ordinary, but he did. he could sense that his face was starting to turn red. after sitting down, martin stretched his arms und laid them onto the rest of the couch, so that one was directly behind kris' neck. it even touched his arm a little bit but kris tried to ignore it. in his dreams, martin would have hugged him tight and kris might even got to kiss him eventhough he knows that would never happen in real life. "I'm excited to see what Bojan comes up with" he said quietly while struggling to keep his mind clear and not reveal any of his feelings to him.

"me too" responded martin. kris thought he didn't notice anything, which was good. one wonder he was wondering about was, when martin would be leaving. he had no problem with him being there, the problem just was that kris feared, that he'd notice something was off. kris tried to think that it was just martin sitting next to him, nothing more, nothing less, no other thoughts. well, this didn't work the way it all was supposed to.

"after not being on stage with you all anymore, I forgot how comfortable this couch is. I feel like I could keep sitting there forever." martin told him while he was relaxing. kris anxiously looked fast from left to right a few times before answering his friend: "yeah, you have really forgotten about it, it shows haha. i really miss you performing with us on stage." he thought, it was a good idea to start talking about something emotional to hide his feelings and he tried to cover them up with silly little laughs, hoping martin won't notice anything. he turned towards kris and answered: "yeah, I miss it too, but you know why I left." now he was looking into kris' eyes, there was no way of kris leaving this situation now and martin would most likely notice something.

"I do, I really, really do, but I just miss you so incredibly much." he started to feel that some tears were coming down his face, but he didn't wanna cry. he didn't wanna show any emotion right now. "I miss y'all and performing as well, but it was the right decision for me to leave the band. you remember that it wasn't easy for me either. don't cry, please, kris. don't cry, everything's fine."

"I'm not crying" kris said, while he felt a little tear streaming down his face. martin noticed it and wiped away his tear. kris was not doing good right now, he felt how his face was turning red, that was not a good sign. martin looked at him and asked whether everything was fine. "no nothing's fine. this little move of you made me go completely crazy and I don't even know how to hide my feelings anymore" thought kris while he answered: "yes, thank you, martin. I'm good now." after looking at him for a little bit, martin decided to give kris the tightest hug he could imagine. it felt like a safe place for him and he wished to never let go, though it made his heart beat even faster. "it's not that i am gone forever, kris." martin whispered to him. "i know" he told him.

kris felt like crying but he couldn't, he had to hold it back, otherwise martin could guess something. after a few moments, he released his friend from his hug and looked at him. their eyes met but kris couldn't stand the eye contact for more than a few seconds, which led to him looking away. he decided to focus on the huge bookshelf they had in their rehearsal space, while martin was still looking at him. "kris, are you okay? is everything good?" martin asked him with a worried voice. "hopefully he didn't notice that something's off" thought kris to himself after hearing what martin said. "yes, martin, yes, I'm good. everything's good. don't worry, please." he looked at him for a little bit till he looks at the bookshelf again. his voice was a mixture of sounding a bit shaky and nervous.

"I don't believe you. you don't sound like everything is fine." replied martin judgingly. now kris was a bit scared. was martin going to find out? "but... but, martin.. I am fine.. like really." he said while turning his eyes from the bookshelf to the face of his friend.

"don't lie to me, kris. I can tell something's wrong."

"no, I promise you, I am good." he put his hand onto kris' shoulder and told him: "you know, you can tell me everything."

kris started to breathe a little bit heavier and said: "I.. I know.. it's just that I miss you with us on stage." he tried to hold back his tears and it somehow worked, at least for now. martin looked down for a second and then proceeded to tell kris: "I know that.. and I miss you all too. don't you think I miss performing too? I miss it more than anything but sometimes you gotta make sacrifices. but kris, remember, I am always here for you as a friend and for everyone else in the band. it's not that I am dead." I am always here for you as a friend. kris had no idea how to deal with this sentence. he was glad that martin would be always there for him, and he also knew that even if he found out, they would never be more than friends. that was what confused him. he actually wanted to cry now so that martin would give him a tight hug again, but he knew he couldn't. "I know, thank you." whispered kris quietly and they hugged again for a little bit. kris felt safe and he was glad martin didn't notice anything.

approximately one month later

it's been a month since kris had his little breakdown in front of martin. he had promised him to not tell anyone about it because kris kinda felt a bit ashamed for emotionally breaking down in front of his friend. he had lots of things going on this month, mainly eurovision, so there was no time to destroy his thoughts because of him. liverpool was a Rollercoaster of emotions for him and the entire band. they have arrived back home in ljubljana around one and a half weeks ago.

today was supposed to be a stressful day: joker out planned a meet and greet for fans in a bar in ljubljana and kris was one of the main organizers, so he had to arrive quite early. around 3pm, there was no one expect him and some of the people that worked at the bar.

"živjo!" kris shouted to the workers while entering the building. "živjo, kris!" a woman with long black hair greeted him back, after a few minutes, kris noticed that she was one of his former classmates, so he decided to chat with her for a bit. it turned out that she was part time working in this bar alongside medical school. they haven't seen eachother in many years, so he enjoyed talking to his former classmate for a bit, especially before the others were arriving.

but after that, he needed to go back to prepare everything for the fan meet and greet tonight. they haven't done a proper m&g in ages, so it felt like they were time traveling back to cvetličarna in 2021. he enjoyed talking to fans from time to time, though he wasn't as dedicated as bojan when it comes to meeting fans. kris is more a reserved type while bojan is outgoing and talkative, even with strangers.

while helping the employees to set up everything, kris thought about martin. he hadn't lost any thought to him in the past weeks because he was too stressed, but the thoughts are coming back. his feelings won't die in the near future, he was sure about that. "martin won't be there tonight, so no need to stress myself" he thought to himself while he was putting some joker out flyers onto the round tables. the others would arrive in 2 or 3 hours, until that, kris had time to think about his friend.

a while later

"it all looks really good" said bojan while inspecting the little flyers that were scattered all over the desks.

"carpe diem" was written all over it.

"I love these flyers! probs to whoever made them!" agreed nace with the happiest voice someone could imagine.

"good job, girls, guys and kris" responded bojan while jokingly mocking kris a bit for mentioning him on his own. he found that joke actually quite funny, so he laughed a little bit.

"kris, kris, kris!" he heard someone was shouting his name, so he turned around and saw jure running towards him. "hey jure, what's going on?" kris asked him, being slightly confused about jure's euphoric enthusiasm. "did you... did you know, we'll have a special guest tonight?" special guest. that sounded either really good or really bad, depends on who the special guest was. "nope, I didn't. who is it?" "can't tell you right now, you'll see. I know you're gonna be really happy." said jure while slightly jumping in his place, he was just like an hyperactive child at the age of 27. that's just jure. if jure said he'd be happy, kris decides to believe him.

it's been 8pm now, the starting time of the fan meet and greet. kris could already see lots of fans, mainly girls, queueing to get pictures and talk to the jokers. "the more often I look out, the more people I see waiting for us. dude, I feel like we're in the cvetka again." stated bojan, who just stood next to kris. "yeah, that's crazy, you're right. I am not even used to it anymore." answered kris.

now, the five members of the band decided to go out and all the fans were cheering and screaming. they felt like celebrities. it was a feeling that couldn't be replaced by anything else. all of the spotlights were on them and the fans were cheering as much and as loud as they could. "dober večer!" screamed bojan and the fans immediately responded with an even louder scream. they decided to play 5 songs tonight, two from their first and second album and their eurovision hit carpe diem. a fortune wheel chose their other four songs which had been metulji, dopamin, vse kar vem and katrina. dopamin. what a perfect song to play now, well.. at least martin wasn't here. the band started to play their songs and the audience was going crazy. kris could notice them having a lot of fun as usual.

after they finished carpe diem, bojan said: "you might think this was our last song, but I can assure you, there will be one more performance from us." kris was a bit shocked because he didn't know that they would be performing another song. bojan continued: "we haven't played this one in a while, and to be exact, it's not even an original joker out song. let's sing about starry skies and shooting stars." starry skies and shooting stars? there is only one song that would come to kris' mind: mogoče. but how would they be playing it if nace doesn't know the chords? he knew it. "and for that, let's welcome a special guest, applause for the one and only martin jurkovič!"

the audience was now screaming even louder than before as martin came onto the stage hugging jan and bojan at first, then jure and after that he walked over to kris. if you would've looked closely at him, you could tell his facial expression was shocked. now martin is here today as well and performing a song with them. kris was going insane internally. martin decided to hug him tightly as well, it wasn't as tight as the comfort hug he gave him in the rehearsal space. his heart was still about to explode. martin's touch made him go crazy. he had no idea how to deal with it that people and especially martin won't notice it. for this song, nace went backstage. he had no idea that they would be performing mogoče tonight. "that's why bojan wanted to practice this song, without bass the entire time." he thought to himself. "gremo fantje!" bojan shouted and the five started started to play. kris hadn't played this song in almost a year. the only thing that now helped, was concentrating on the chords and the audience, and not to focus on martin. "mi smo joker out in radi vas mamo" this is how they ended their concert.

martin gave everyone including nace a hug and as it was kris' turn, he whispered to him: "i'm glad to see you again, are you better today?" this short hug made kris definitely feel things, especially feeling martin's hands on his back. "yes" he said quietly and he let go and proceeded to go off-stage. it had been a short concert but it felt so good for kris to play in front of an audience full of joker out fans again after only playing only one song in liverpool all of the time.

"kris!" "kris! can i get a picture?" "come here, kris!!" "kris come to me please! i need a picture with you!" "can you give me your guitar pick?" this was what kris was hearing all of the time. this was gonna be a bit stressful, but that was his job. "yes sure! one by one!" he shouted the loudest he could and the fans started to somewhat line up to talk to him and to take pictures.

approximately two hours later

all the members were having a beer in the bar, relaxing after the meet and greet with the euphoric fans. they were laughing and had the best time. kris was talking to nace and jan while bojan and martin were chatting about something kris couldn't hear, probably about something related to their apartment since they lived together.

"mogoče sounded amazing live!" admitted nace. "I hope you weren't mad for not playing this song with us" said jan, joking a little bit. "no, I surely wasn't. you guys were amazing" replied nace to jan's sentence. "it was a strange feeling to play mogoče after such a long time live again." said kris, while taking a sip from his beer. "absolutely" agreed jan. during this conversation kris always looked awkwardly in martin' direction but hoping he and jan and nace won't notice him. kris wanted to secretly admire martin in his head, since he couldn't get the comfort hug from over a month ago out of his brain. he was constantly thinking about it. the way martin had been so sweet with him after kris had a emotional breakdown almost revealing his feelings to his friend.

"I actually didn't know bojan was planning this" jan said and kris agreed with him. bojan hadn't told anyone, but jure, about bringing martin on stage. one part of kris didn't complain, because he liked to admire him and the other part wanted to avoid him at all costs. what a conflict he carried within him.

"it was a surprise but a goo-" someone tapped onto his shoulder while he was talking and interrupted him. he turned around and saw martin. "oh hi, martin! what are yo-" "I need to talk to you, kris. nace, jan, can you give a minute with him?" he interrupted kris asking. "yeah sure" jan said and kept on talking with nace. kris felt a bit weird because why would martin wanna talk to him? his biggest fear was if he noticed something.

they both went to some corner in the bar together to able to talk quietly with eachother. they were standing next to eachother and kris decided to place his empty beer cup on the table. he was kinda nervous to be alone with him again. his feelings were already going crazy when martin's dark eyes just took a look at kris. "what do you wanna talk about, martin?" kris asked him. he was taking a sip from his cup and then placed it next to kris' empty one. "about the rehearsal space." shit. he thought to himself, he might have noticed it. "yeah, uhm.. sure." kris slowly answered. "I simply wanted to check on you, whether you're doing okay. it was hard for me to see you this down and all that because of me." "thank god he didn't notice anything" kris thought. but he had been a bit anxious now because he now had to talk about his feelings with martin. "yes, thank you. I am doing better now. I think I might've had a bad day because I had this breakdown. I am sorry, martin."

he reached out to kris by putting his hand onto kris' shoulder, which made kris kinda shake. he couldn't take his touch and acting completely normal. maybe it's time to reveal it. "no need to be sorry, kris. we all have bad days sometimes. but kris, why are you shaking? are you really all good? should I get you something to drink?" he was so caring, that's what kris loved about him. "yes, martin, i am. I wouldn't lie to you." he became quite nervous knowing he had martin's hand touching him on his shoulder. at the same time it felt good. kris felt some kind of safety. "hmm.. strange. I haven't seen someone shaking and claiming they are feeling well. are you sure you're good?" "yes, martin, I am 100% sure." "I can't believe you" martin replied and he sounded a judging. "no martin, I'm not good, I am in love with you and I just wish that you'd feel the same about me." this is what kris wanted to say. he wanted to confess his love. he didn't wanna lie to him. looking into his beautiful dark brown eyes was a challenge for him.

"kris, please explain to me, what is going on? I need to know it now, please. we're friends, you can tell me everything." he could tell him everything. everything, even his feelings for him, but he won't. at least for now. martin put his hand away from kris' shoulder. what a relief. "everything?" kris looked at him. "yes, kris. everything. even that you're in love with me." goddammit. he must've noticed something was off.

kris began feeling a bit insecure and he began to shake again.

"it's that... it's all about... you, martin. I have been having feelings for you lately." martin looked kinda shocked at him but then put his hand on kris' shoulder again. he couldn't look him in the eyes, he was too embarrassed to have revealed it to him. martin stared at kris' empty cup. they weren't looking at eachother for a moment until martin said: "well, kris, to be honest with you.." kris hoped for him saying "I have been feeling the same for you" but he knew it wouldn't happen. "I suspected it. I remembered a girl in my high school acting pretty much the same as you did when i was around." he wasn't expecting this answer from him. was he really that obvious? he guessed he had been. "you weren't very secretive about it. the way you acted lately around me made me guess it."

it's been out now. kris was happy that he told him about it but also a bit scared of his reaction. he just knew, martin would never feel the same. "yes, uhm.. so I guess it's out now haha" said kris while laughing a bit sarcastic. martin came a bit closer to kris and started to put his on his back and asked him: "and this is what makes you go insane?" "yes... yes, martin." he stroke kris' back and then decided to put his hand onto his shoulder again.

"is this what heaven actually feels like? definitely. this is my heaven, I rise above when he's near me." kris thought to himself. "good to know then. kris I have to tell you that I am totally fine with you feeling that way about me and it's not that I don't like the idea." kris' heart was beating even faster now, is something going to happen? this was the only thing he wished for right now. martin doesn't dislike the idea. his mind is going crazy.

kris was not sure how to deal with it anymore. he just wanted one thing now. suddenly martin pulled him closer and kissed him. kris had no idea what was going on right now. it happened. the thing he wanted to happen. he felt like he's flying, just as if he's playing omamljeno telo on his guitar. he just let it happen.

"martin, kris, can u plea-" bojan shouted and he was interrupted when he saw them. both of them released eachother and jumped back. they were looking bojan straight in the eyes. not only martin knows about it, but also bojan. "shit" thought kris.

THE END.

thank you sm for reading my story and i hope you liked it! :)

[rhiannonwrites]

Rainy days and some new adult erotica 😂

Keep up with me on tiktok✌🏾

[florasstudyjournal]

late evening study, 13.08 TUE

shakespearen sonnets (poetry has never really been my strong suit, so i just want this doneeughh)

[starxsstuff]

COLLEGE AU

Hobie X Black African!Reader

(Please excuse any errors when it comes to British and African Vernacular the reader will be Congolese in the story)

Summary: You are a new exchange student in Nixon Univeristy(idek) And you meet a Student called hobie brown, who changes your life in more ways then one

A/N: like I said before I'm not get with british slang/culture or Congolese slang/culture so please excuse any errors

Y/N POV:

It's my first day at Nixon university. I was scared because everything is so different from back home. People were meaner.

I walked in, and everything was so... bright. I went up to a place called the prin...ci..ple office?(for this story Y/N isn't great with English). "Ehh.. excuse me is this the princi..ple office..?" I asked with my accent pushing on the words coming out of my mouth.

"Ah yes! You must be Y/N, I'll call your tour guide down for you!" I thought to myself *what is tour gui..de*?. Next thing I know a tall skinny man who had alot of spikes and wild hair came through the office.

"This the new stu'ent her'e yea?(I'm not great with british vernacluar😭)" "Yes this is Y/N and Y/N this is hobie". *why is his name so weird why his parents name him a hoe?* I thought. Just then the office lady spoke again. "You guys have all classes together except 1 so Y/N will be with you for the whole day" "Oigh' let's go yea!?" This "hobie" said and I start to follow him out the office.

HOBIE POV:

This new student was very pretty her lovely Melanated skin compliments everything about her.

Me and Y/N are walking through the halls silently so i break the silence by introducing myself. "Oi there,names Hobie..Hobie brown and I play the guitar what 'bout u huh?" I said looking at her.

"I am Y/N kasongo.. I..ehh Dr.. awll" She stammered through the whole sentence. I could tell she's

Not from here from her accent,but curiosity got the best of me so I wanted to ask.

"Oi yea where u from?" My voice lurks with curiosity. "I from Congo"

"What lang ya guys speak there"?..

"We speak fr...ench" "can I hear u say sumthin in french?".

And from that day on,they talked and hanged out with eachother.

- A few months later -

Y/N POV:

The day was here. The day of the dance I'm going with hobie, of course. Lots of things happened In these few months.

My English got better and I started dating hobie. Me and hobie were laying with eachother in bed a couple hours before the dance starts.

"Hobie you know what's crazy?" "Whot?" He said with the fine ass british accent. "It's the fact that a couple months ago we met in an office and talking about how I wasn't from here and you were showing me around to classes and now were here cuddling with eachother".

-The day of the dance-

NO ONE'S POV:

Y/N and hobie were ready to dance their asses off. They walked in through those doors while people stared in awe looking at their outfits

(Can be one of these)

Hobie grabbed Y/N's hand and started to slow dance with her as they had a very passionate and slow kiss . Man, college is the best! Was the last thing Y/N ever thought that night.

I might make a Part2 with this with some angst but idk

Also like I'm not familiar with the college experience or british and Congolese vernacular/language

Requests still available and If anyone had tips I'd love some

Made by @milesmoralesloverr

Requested by @nagi3seastorm

I'm also doing Hobie headcannons later!

[adrienneryatt]

And by now I don't need no help to be destructive I've been gone Yeah, I've been on this road too long

►GENERAL INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Adrienne Layla Ryatt NICKNAME(S): Jynx, Adri, Riot LABEL: The Mystic AGE: 32 DATE OF BIRTH: October 31, 1991 ZODIAC: Scorpio Sun, Aries Rising, Capricorn Moon GENDER & PRONOUNS: Female; She/Her HERITAGE: French, Mexican, Italian SPOKEN LANGUAGE(S): English, Spanish, Italian OCCUPATION: Occult Specialist/Demonologist SEXUALITY & ROMANCE: Bisexual; Biromantic PET(S): Doberman named Khaos & a black cat named Hekate

► APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: Seychelle Gabriel HEIGHT: 5'2" WEIGHT: 112 lbs. DOMINANT HAND: Left HAIR COLOR: Brunette EYE COLOR: Brown SCARS: None notable. TATTOOS: None.

►PERSONALITY

POSITIVE TRAITS: Clever, Dauntless, Beguiling, Open-Minded, Authentic, Prophetic. NEGATIVE TRAITS: Sarcastic, Intangible, Arrogant, Sycophantic, Self-Sabotaging. LIKES: Stargazing, burning candles/incense, thunder storms, music on vinyl, horror movie marathons, deep conversations with strangers, solving a problem before everyone else, eureka moments when researching, conducting tarot card readings, making intention jars/journaling, cooking. DISLIKES: Being the scapegoat, people who think they are smarter than her or belittle her, critics/cynics.

►MENTALITY

PHOBIAS: Nyctophobia DISORDERS: Not diagnosed. ALLERGIES: Seasonal (Pollen)

►BACKGROUND

HOMETOWN: Danvers, MA CURRENT RESIDENCE: Merrock, ME EDUCATION LEVEL: MA in Magic and Occult Science at Salem State University FAMILIAL CONNECTIONS: - Reina Ryatt - 55, Mother, Not In Contact - Sylvester Ryatt - 54, Father, Deceased

►FAVORITES

FOOD: Mushroom Gnocchi DRINK: London Fog MOVIE: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Practical Magic, Scream TV SHOW: Criminal Minds, Rick & Morty, Goosebumps BAND/ARTIST: The Killers, Lana Del Rey, Nirvana, Fleetwood Mac SONG: Lilith - Halsey

► EXTRA INFORMATION

JUNG TYPE: ENTP ENNEAGRAM: The Free Spirit (4w5) TEMPERAMENT: Choleric MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral SIN: Wrath VIRTUE: Temperance ELEMENT: Fire CHARACTER PLAYLIST

I just fuck things up, if you noticed Have you noticed? Tell me have you noticed?

► BIOGRAPHY

TW; Religion mention, funeral mention

It was raining when Adrienne was born. Maybe that was the first tell of the path she would be walking. Or, maybe it was the intention of her given name; Adrienne: dark woman or dark waters. There was some odd fascination with the darker things in life. Growing up attending more funerals than weddings, can anyone really blame her on that impact? Though, her nickname was Jynx due to the chaos that would spiral in her presence. For instance, her grandmother's ashes going missing when they were addressed to her apartment, or traveling all the way to California just for a once in a lifetime storm to be passing through and the festival being cancelled, or every color she calls for Roulette being the wrong one and her friend then going into the negatives with funds. Though she was labeled as an outcast and was seen as the black sheep in the family because of this, she still had something about her that drew people in. She had a great group of friends, and her fair share of experimental relationships. In short: she didn't miss anything, but she wouldn't have cared if she did. Her aunt was the one who taught her about spirituality after Adrienne had a paranormal experience at the age of 5. Whilst being in a Catholic household, Adrienne and her aunt would often sneak in order to practice their own eclectic belief. Magic, tarot cards, seances, you name it - Adrienne has dabbled in it. What no one was expecting was for her to make a career move out of it. It started in high school, she helped assist her teacher in their paranormal investigation group. It was through this teacher that she learned about anomalies and the role of the paranormal in anthropology. Her job as an investigator was just the groundwork for her BA in Parapsychology with a minor in Religious Studies at Stockton Univeristy, where she studied the connections of the paranormal and demons with the human psyche. She then went on to gain her MA in Magick and Occult Science with a specialization in Women and Minority Studies where she learned more about the occult across various religions and cultures as well as witchcraft and the impact and power women have within interaction, at Salem State University. At this point in her career, she can be seen as an expert in the occult as well as a demonologist. She actually works alongside various religious institutions, is still a researcher for a paranormal investigation team, and is also hosts a podcast about horror movies, the paranormal and the occult.

► PERSONALITY (DEEP DIVE)

Adrienne is one of those people who can attract and attract and attract, but still feel alone underneath the surface. She can be sarcastic and condescending if someone asks a question she deems as 'stupid'. She's known to bully as her type of flirting. She's actually not online, and prefers it that way. She's clever and witty and goes on passion-dump sprees about her line of work and conspiracies pretty often, or about her research or podcast. She loves people who have a sense of humor and can dish it back out to her. Adrienne used to not like being seen as a Jynx, but now she is sorta indifferent. She just knows something bad or weird is bound to happen when she's around, and it's just within her chaotic state of being. She used to be deathly afraid of the dark, mostly because she didn't know what was in it. It's still a fear, but she works through it due to her career. Adrienne comes across as intimidating and mean cause of her resting bitch face. This is partly true; seeing that she does bring hell to people and her wrath can be intense. But, if you're on her good side you have a very loyal and fun friend in your corner.

[moonstruckme]

maemae, tell us some stuff about you!!! i feel like we all love you for your spectacular writing, but there's definitely so much more :) - ✏️

Hi lovely! You're too sweet, I feel like there's not much that's not already on my pinned post or I've just mentioned at some point. I'm a univeristy student studying English and I love to read and write, and that's about my whole identity haha. I'm afraid I'm not very interesting on paper! <3

[my-strange-attraction]

I am a lesbian and I came across Lostryu’s post by way of a mutual of mine. I was curious and wanted to see your response. I have to say your rebuttal contains nothing of merit that could possibly fare as a proper argument. It’s chock full of contradictory statements and straight up lies. I am assuming you’re a USA resident, but the highest university with an LGBT+ population is Brown Univeristy; and only about 20-24% of people reported being LGBT+

As a fellow english major, it was painful to read. Constant contradiction with only half formed ideas; practically agreeing with Lostryu regarding the definition of lesbian only to backpedal…. And words do have meaning, that’s why we use them in our craft as wordsmiths. You can’t simply replace keywords with opposite definitions and expect your manuscript to make sense!

I also want to point out that you degendered Lostryu entirely, refusing to use correct pronouns. That in and of itself is very transphobic. I don’t really trust your judgment as it seems like you didn’t even care about reblogging from lesbian and transgender rape apologists.

I thought you might like to reflect on this, but I truly think you care more about your self-perceived moral superiority rather than actual people.

-🧁

Oh boy. Ok.

Well thanks for being so kind and civil and not attacking my character.

I know you don't trust me, but you gotta trust that a queerer school than Brown exists and I go to it. I can see where the confusion is, after doing a google search myself, because my school is pretty small and doesn't show up on a lot of searches for colleges in the US. I will give you that, after looking up the number myself, it's more like 50-70%, but I will tell you that less than a quarter of the people I know and talk to on a regular basis are straight and cisgender.

I'm not writing an english essay here, it's a tumblr post. If anything, this is a lot closer to how I would format a philosophy paper, which, if you've ever read one of those, are very rambly and have roundabout ways of getting to the point. Also, again, thanks for not attacking my character, here. Thanks for really respecting me and not discrediting my nearly completed degree. Really appreciate that.

I... have no words. I used they/them/theirs pronouns throughout the whole post, which, I cannot stress enough, are NEUTRAL pronouns. I use those pronouns for all people online, and I think most other people do too. Yes, I knew he used he/him and used they/them instead, but I also cut his username out of all my screenshots. I wasn't talking about him specifically, his post was just an excuse for me to explain a concept in depth, and explain why exclusionism such as what he was promoting is detrimental to the queer community as a whole.

I didn't include his username or @ him at all. It wasn't even meant for him to look at, really. He was an example, a nebulous person with an opinion I don't agree with. It wasn't personal, so I used neutral pronouns. I am really sorry it came across that way though, I never want to make anyone uncomfortable and I know pronouns are super important to pay attention to for some people. This is an actual sincere apology.

I don't think I'm morally superior, that's not the point. I don't argue with people on the internet in order to prove my opinions are right and that anyone else with different opinions has made a wrong and evil choice and is unredeemable as a person. Really this whole thing happened because the original post had some terfy red flags and even though op isn't a terf, I wanted to point it out so that people know how to spot it and avoid it.

And do I think it's bad for the community to exclude mspec lesbians? Yes, but I also understand where the frustration comes from. I don't think less of people who have that opinion, I just hope to change their minds, because I think a radically inclusive community is the best kind of community.