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alfredolover119 · 4 years

Note

I looooove your zukka rec lists! I recently became Avatar-obsessed, never got a chance to watch it as a kid and only just got through it all! I was wondering if you'd consider doing a specifically angst rec list? I love fluffy zukka everything, but sometimes you just gotta have your heart ripped out of your chest and put back in after being thoroughly blended.

thank you! i relate heavily to “recently became Avatar-obsessed” haha. as for the angst list, i sure can try! warning: all of these have happy endings because im a crybaby who can’t read unhappy endings. also, p much all of the fics in the completed section were featured on my other lists but this is specifically the ANGSTY ones >:^)

angsty zukka wips

first, most obviously, feels like we only go backwards by @oldpotatoe

-currently at 102k with 19/27 chapters posted; rated teen

-the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. you know. i haven’t actually read it yet because, as previously mentioned, i’m a crybaby and am waiting for it to finish up but, from my understanding, this fic will murder you in a dark alleyway with no remorse. if u like zukka angst, you’ve probably already read this, but just in case!

An injury leaves Sokka with amnesia. His last memory is of the failed invasion, of leaving his father behind in enemy territory on the Day of Black Sun. Of hopelessness. Rage. // But then he wakes up, and the war is over. Suddenly, he must come to terms with the fact that years have passed, and that he's somehow the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador to the Fire Nation. He is also supposedly friends with banished-Prince-turned-Fire-Lord Zuko, of all people. Close friends.

Yeah, nah.

and i’ll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by @goldrushzukka

-currently 38k with 6/8 chapters posted; rated mature

-holy shit. holy SHIT. modern au based on the “my cat likes my fuckbuddy and i am falling in love” trope(?). maybe it’s just because of how the last chapter ended, but oh my god. this one made me cry. made me want to commit violence. when it’s not angsty as hell, it’s pretty funny, but holy shit. ao3 user nebulastucky please.

It’s supposed to be a one night stand. Pick up some guy at a bar, barely remember his name and never learn anything real about him, send him packing in the morning with a thanks for the ride and a cup of coffee to-go. That’s how it’s supposed to go. // But then it’s the best sex Sokka has ever had, and he thinks he’ll hate himself if he never gets to have it again.

Violet Blossoms and Celestial Objects by @hollypunkers

-currently 15k with 2/? posted. rated teen.

-this is the sequel to blue (an angsty, zukka rewrite of book 2-- go read it if u havent!)! !! this is a book 3 rewrite. only two chapters in and mrs hollypunkers is really abusing the miscommunication tag, as zukka writers seem to enjoy doing. im excited to see how the world and story develops with the changes to the story! you should be too!! its very good! obviously spoilers for blue lmao

Having sided with the Avatar in Ba Sing Se, Zuko not only must navigate his new relationship with Sokka but returning to the Fire Nation as a banished enemy. His own journey of self discovery and personal growth must now coexist alongside the personal struggles of every other member of the Gaang as together they blaze a treacherous path toward an unsure victory against Zuko's own father and nation.

breakable heaven by @fruitysokka

-currently 71k with 9/11 chapters posted. rated teen

-swt ambassador zuko! soon to be chief sokka! fake dating ur best friend to get out of an arranged marriage! what could go wrong!!! i also haven’t read this one ((see: i’m a crybaby who is being hurt by too many zukka wips already)), but it has been hanging out in my marked for later for months. from what i understand, this fic has: angst.

With his twenty-first birthday looming just around the corner, the Southern Water Tribe Elders have decided that Sokka, next in line to be Chief, needs to get married. Sokka does not want that, but he does need to get them off his back until he can figure his way out of it. What better way to do that than to pretend to date his best friend (and newly minted Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe) Zuko? // Seriously, this is a foolproof plan. Maybe one of Sokka's best. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.

angsty zukka fics (completed!)

(i’ll put these in wc order)

lighthouse beam by @incorrectzukka

-7k, rated g

-a modern college au!! zuko’s inner-monologue is very angsty in this fic. typical zuko. also per usual, theyre both fucking dorks. they sort themselves out in the end, but not before The Angst. zuko is semi-deaf in this fic and also he has a bit of internalized homophobia.

Sokka’s breathtakingly beautiful and he’s smart and makes other people laugh. Zuko has a half-burnt face and a deaf ear. It’s not rocket science. // Or, Zuko falls in love with the boy in his Philosophy class.

This Isn’t My Idea of Fun by @khaleeseas

-9k, explicit

-moon spirit/nwt prince!sokka, no war to be found here! admittedly this isnt THAT angsty but like. the angst IS present. zuko is still the prince. a lovely childhood friends (though they hated each other for a minute haha) to lovers story.

If you asked Zuko, he and Azula saw far too much of Chief Hakoda of the Northern Water Tribe’s children growing up. It wasn’t until they were older, and Azula pointed out that - duh - their families were trying to set them all up, that he realized why. // He was told by his mother to be polite. These people were their friends and allies, and though their nations were as different as they came, harmony between nations was the most important thing. // It wasn’t his fault the Chief’s children were so annoying.

put your lips close to mine (as long as they don’t touch) by @celestialceci

-9k, teen

-modern au! zuko and sokka are college roommates. zuko goes to spend the summer with sokka. again,, not really that angsty but-- its there!! the detail and feeling of Home in this story make me happy. zuko is insecure as hell here too. if ur into that.

Zuko hates his home. He likes college alright, but he likes Sokka even better, his assigned roommate turned best friend. Spending the summer with Sokka will be fun, a welcome change of pace he desperately wants. It probably won't awaken anything in him... right?

the thing about dancing by anodymalion

-9k, teen

-yes. this one right here officer. it makes my heart ache. also trans sokka! which is cool. but the zuko angst in this one. hurts me. not so much relationship angst as it is zuko learning he deserves happiness angst. i’m sure u know The Type.

The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

i could (never) give you peace by @zukkababey

-10k, mature

-OUCH. OUCH OUCH OUCH. boys please learn to communicate im begging u. also zuko.. zuko, dude. as the tags of the fic say, hes “really going through it” in this one. YOUCH. post-canon.

Zuko almost said it. He almost said the words I think I’m in love with you, but he choked them back down at the last second. // Zuko would never be able to be what Sokka wanted. They might have needed each other during the summer, when two boys with too much weight on their shoulders found comfort in each other in the only way they knew how. // But now Zuko was Fire Lord, and Sokka was leaving.

this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by @meliebee

-18k, teen, major character death

-i lied. THIS is the one, officer. found family.. good mai and zuko and toph friendships.. . ozai escapes prison and tries to overthrow zuko. OBVIOUSLY angst ensues. poor boy. he Does heal in this but it gets worse before it gets better. angst angst angst angst.

Ten months after Zuko is crowned at seventeen, he faces his first coup.

Anything for You by beersforqueers

-23k, explicit

-istg. this is probably one of my favorite zukka fics. its PAINFUL. modern au where theyre broken up but sokka hasnt told his family yet so zuko goes home with him for kataang wedding. a bit smutty, but the plot oh my god ohgm y fuvk. made me cry the first time i read it. (see: crybaby!me) insert that one picture of the horse with the caption PAIN.

In which Sokka and Zuko have broken up but Sokka hasn't told his family yet. So when Katara and Aang's wedding weekend rolls around and he doesn't want to break Gran-Gran's heart, he asks Zuko to pretend to be his boyfriend for one last weekend. // Things don't go as planned.

Moving Mountains by @thefangirlingdead

-64k, mature

-so. when i read this the first time it was in one sitting. soulmate au set within canon era / the comics, to an extent. soulmates can hear each others thoughts. i will happily say this is slowburn, jesus christ. champagne without the cham.

Soulmates are chosen by the spirits and can hear each other’s thoughts. Sokka thinks it’s cheesy and dumb. Zuko thinks it’s poetic justice that he doesn’t have one because he doesn’t deserve it. Cruel irony is finding out that the prince of the Fire Nation (and the person currently hunting you) is your soulmate.

In the Soft Light by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning

-83k, teen, graphic depictions of violence

-moon spirit!sokka living in the northern water tribe. zuko is sent to the northern water tribe as a cultural liaison. iroh is the fire lord but while he is away taking care of lu ten after his injury ozai steps up. i cannot express how many emotions this fic made me feel. background yuetara. i would almost say found family?? but. anyway. plenty of angst to spare here with a healthy dose of enemies to friends to lovers.

As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him.

That Midnight Sky by @zukkababey

-103k, teen

-now now now. tms... modern college au where sokka agrees to tutor zuko in physics because zuko has to maintain straight a’s and physics is just not doing it for him. so. thats cool but THEN azula moves in, randomly, with zuko. to hide the fact that sokka is tutoring zuko, they fake date! what could go wrong!! the mutual pining in here combined with the angst... wonderful, tasty. everyone read it rn. also SLOWBURN

In Zuko’s strict family, needing a tutor is just about the worst thing you could do. Failing a class, however, is even worse. The only rational solution? Take up Aang on his offer to find him a physics tutor and have Sokka—beautiful, smart, handsome Sokka—tutor him in secret. // When Azula’s arrival threatens to reveal Zuko’s secret, it’s up to Sokka to convince her this definitely isn’t what it looks like. See, he’s actually… Zuko’s… boyfriend? // Hmm. There’s no way this could get complicated, right?

#zukka #zuko #sokka #angst #zukka angst #atla #avatar: the last airbender #fic recs #zukka fic recs

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eliemo · 3 years

Text

Something Long and Stupid (Part 2)

Summary: Remus knew he wasn't a good person. He was Deadpool, a killer for hire, "the merc with a mouth." He'd come to terms with what he was a long time ago. He didn't need Spiderman to remind him of what he was.

He didn't need Virgil to come into his life and make him question it for the first time

Notes: Violence, blood, gore, sexual inneundos

I didn't make a taglist for this story but I know @teamplutoforlife wanted to be tagged <3 And thank you @cheshirevalentine for editing

Part 1

Remus was falling, twisting onto his back as he plummeted towards the ground, the buildings around him nothing but a blur as he flew past. He could faintly hear the construction on the ground over the pounding of his own heart and the howling of the wind rushing past him, barely hearing the alarmed shouts of the workers watching him fall.

Virgil was nothing but a speck in the distance now, perched on the edge of the roof. Lifeless white eyes watched him fall, unfeeling and still.

Pain exploded in Remus’s back as he slammed into something sharp, legs hitting the ground when he finally stopped falling. He could just barely make out the rusty, blood stained spike in front of him, poking through his chest from his back where he'd fallen, blood pooling around the wound and into his suit.

“Hey.”

Remus jumped so hard he nearly fell off the roof, scrambling to his feet and reaching for his gun as he whirled around to face whoever the fuck was stupid enough to sneak up on him.

Spiderman was perched beside him, apparently fine after his near death experience last night, and holding… a pizza box?

“Hey,” Remus said carefully. “What the fuck?”

Spiderman shrugged and held out the box in his hand. “I have pizza. You asked for pizza.”

Remus stared for a moment, frozen where he stood with his hand hovering over his gun, trying to figure out if this was a joke. “You… actually brought it?”

“Yeah?” Spiderman said, like he didn’t understand how this was in any way strange. “Oh did you… were you joking? Did you not actually want it, or—”

“No, I did.” Remus stayed right where he was. What the hell was this? Was this a prank? Was he being pranked?

“Then… here,” Spiderman said. He held out the pizza box, close enough for Remus to cautiously take. “I didn’t know what you liked so I just got cheese. But cheese is good. Everyone likes cheese.”

Holy shit. Spiderman was a dweeb.

Remus carefully opened the pizza box, and when there wasn’t a bomb or some kind of spider-themed booby trap inside, just a freshly baked cheese pizza from some local place he’d vaguely heard of, Remus let his shoulders relax and barked out a laugh.

“Well shit,” he said, pleasantly surprised. “Thanks, Webs.”

Spidey was shuffling a bit, looking ridiculously awkward, and Remus was suddenly reminded that they were both just… people under their masks. “Uh, yeah. No problem.”

Remus hesitated, because he hadn’t been kidding about Spiderman owing him a pizza he just… hadn’t actually expected him to follow through. There was no way Remus was eating all of it on his own, he barely ate much as it was.

“Do you, like…” he paused, wondering if this was going to get him punched or laughed at. “Do you want a slice?”

Spiderman actually startled, like him being asked to lunch was just as rare as Remus asking someone to lunch. Jeez, he’d have figured people begged Spiderman to eat with them all the time.

“I, uh… I bought it for you, so—”

“Yeah, and I’m offering. Christ, do you want some pizza or not?”

Spidey still hesitated, and while it was annoying as hell Remus supposed he’d be a hypocrite to judge when he’d been half convinced there was a bomb in the pizza box two minutes ago.

Well, it wasn’t like it would have been the first time.

“Uh, sure,” Spiderman said, still visibly wary. “Thank you.”

Remus ignored him in favor of opening the pizza box and setting it down, motioning for the vigilante to take as much as he wanted.

It wasn’t until Spidey turned away slightly to hook his fingers under the bottom of his mask that Remus remembered- duh- they both had to pull up their masks to eat.

It wasn’t a problem, it wouldn’t be nearly enough to risk exposing their faces to each other, but Remus really wasn’t in the mood to be gawked at. A glance at his jaw might ruin Spiderman’s lunch.

“I’m not looking,” Spidey said, and Remus realized he’d been hesitating for a few too many seconds. “I can go, if you don’t wanna pull up your mask around anyone.”

Remus waved him off, even as he continued to fiddle with the leather. “I’ve got some scars, is all. Like… a lot. People think they’re gross.”

“Oh,” Spiderman said, and then simply shrugged. “That’s fine, I don’t care. Scars happen, dude. I’ve got a bunch.”

Remus still hesitated, a little caught off guard from Spiderman calling him ‘dude' while so nonchalantly eating his pizza just a few feet away, but he quickly pulled himself together and tugged his leather mask up just below his nose.

It was just a few inches of skin, and still enough to reveal a handful of scars littered across his jaw, and the one that stretched down from his cheek.

Spidey barely glanced at him, which Remus guessed he should have seen coming. It’d be a little out of character for New York’s hero to be an asshole about someone’s scars, but you never knew with heroes. Some of them were pretentious assholes.

They ate their pizza like common civilians, perched on their rooftop and watching the people of New York mingle below.

Remus barely ate two slices. He didn’t really eat much to begin with, and it was far more entertaining to watch in silent awe as Spiderman easily finished the rest of the box. The hero was a good two heads shorter than Remus, and looked like he barely weighed a hundred pounds. If Remus didn’t know better, he’d think the guy never ate at all.

“My metabolism is different,” he explained sheepishly when he caught Reus staring. “I eat more than… you know. You. Regular people.”

Remus scoffed, because this was definitely the first time anyone had described him as a ‘regular person’ but he let it slide with an eye roll and a thanks for lunch.

They parted ways, and Remus let himself relax at the thought of having one less enemy roaming New York.

Remus hadn’t meant to start hanging out with Spiderman.

Really, he hadn’t. The impromptu pizza date was supposed to be the end of it, just a slightly awkward peace offering that made it clear neither of them would actively try to kill each other in the near future.

Remus had saved Spiderman because he was bored, and Spiderman had bought him a pizza. That was all.

But then less than a week later Spiderman had swung (literally) by with takeout- coincidentally from Remus’s favorite place a few blocks away- and Remus hadn’t been able to say no to sharing.

They’d shared a meal together three times in the last two weeks, and Remus was starting to think it wasn’t an accident.

It probably wasn’t helping that Remus had started carrying snacks on him.

Remus wasn’t going to eat them himself, and Spiderman was always complaining about how hungry he was, so he’d just started keeping packets of gummies or granola for when he saw the hero swinging past. Chucking them at his head was good target practice, anyway.

That didn’t mean they were friends. Remus didn’t have friends, because being friends with Deadpool was possibly the dumbest idea anyone could ever have.

Remus had seen what happens when people get close to him. He wasn’t going to go through that again.

Apparently, Spiderman had other ideas.

It had been just another fight that Remus had happened to run into, watching for a moment as Spiderman took down what was probably his third armed robbery of the day.

He knew he probably could have just continued on his way and gotten lunch, but there were five of them, all armed, and Remus didn’t feel great about those odds despite Spidey’s reputation.

So Remus had decided to return the favor, Spiderman had introduced himself by butting into Deadpool's fight after all, and stepped in to finish the job twice as fast.

And it had gone fine. Spiderman had greeted him with stupidly cheeky finger guns and unfortunately insisted they keep all of them alive, which wasn’t Remus’s specialty but he’d manage.

It had been easy, some druggie civilians no match for New York’s hero and the merc with a mouth, three of them encased in webbing within two minutes, another on the ground with a bullet in his knee.

It had been fine, until Remus was shot in the chest.

Which, to be fair, wasn’t a big deal. He was shot in the chest all the time. It’d be a hassle if he didn’t get the bullet out before his skin healed around it, but it wasn’t like he could die.

It occurred to him a bit too late that he had forgotten to tell Spiderman that.

“No!”

The raw panic and emotion In Spidey’s voice caught Remus off guard as he stumbled backwards, pain he was unfortunately used to by now exploding in his chest as the bullet met its mark. There had been a fifth goon, hiding out and biding his time, which would have been a great plan if it didn’t end with a face of webs and a swift punch to the temple.

Remus lowered himself to the ground, the wind knocked out of him, dark crimson blood pooling around his hand and flooding through his fingers as he clutched the wound.

Spiderman was rushing over, and Remus could practically feel the worry behind that lifeless mask. He skidded to a stop and dropped to a crouch, hands hovering, frantic and unsure.

And maybe Remus was just an asshole, but this was fucking hilarious.

“Deadpool?” Spidey called, the vigilante leaning over him as Remus dropped to lay on his back. “Jesus- hang in there okay? You’ll be fine.”

Remus forced himself to cough, wet and ragged, biting back a smile. “This is it for me, Webs. I can see the light.”

“Deadpool shut the fuck up!”

“Everything’s getting dark—”

“I said shut up,” Spiderman snapped, and Remus gasped involuntarily, arching his back when gloved hands pressed down on the wound. “You’re gonna be fine, you’re… just- just stay awake, okay? Don’t close your eyes.”

Remus coughed again to hide a smile, blood splattering his chin, closing his eyes anyway and letting his head fall back on the concrete. He stopped listening to Spidey’s rambling, committing to the bit of playing dead- very obviously playing dead, for the record. He stuck his tongue out the side of his mouth and everything, waiting for Spiderman to catch on and tell him off.

“No!” Except Spidey still sounded genuinely distressed, only pressing harder on the wound. “No, no, no! Deadpool! Wake up!”

Well. This wasn’t any fun if Spiderman was too panicked to even pay attention. He sighed, opening his eyes again to sit up slightly and whack the vigilante’s shoulder.

“I can’t die, stupid,” he said, grinning when Spiderman scrambled back. “Cut it out. I’ve just gotta get the bullet out so it doesn’t heal around it. Those things hurt like a bitch, so��”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

Remus opened his mouth to respond, because there were lots of things wrong with him and he had a list at the ready. But he didn’t get the chance because suddenly Spidey was throwing himself forward, wrapping his arms around Remus and pulling him close, probably getting blood all over his suit.

Haha, what the fuck?

“You’re such a bitch,” Spiderman said, muffled since his face was practically buried in Remus’s shoulder. “You’re the fucking worst.”

“Aww, were you worried about me?” Remus asked, burying his shock. “That’s so sweet, Spidey.”

“Shut the hell up,” Spiderman growled. “I thought you were going to die.”

“You were so worried! It was so cute, oh my god!”

Spiderman finally pulled back, only to rear back and punch Remus square in the shoulder. Hard.

Remus barked out a laugh, now nursing two injuries. “Fucking- ow. I still feel pain.”

“Sucks.”

Remus crossed his arms, wincing when it pulled at the bullet wound still in his chest. “Rude.”

“I’m rude?” Spiderman asked, incredulous. “You thought it would be funny to play dead!”

“To be fair,” Remus argued. “It was funny.”

“No it wasn’t!”

Remus shrugged, already turning his attention to the bullet in his chest. “If you had known it would be funny.”

“Well I didn’t,” he said, the mask’s white eyes glued to Remus’s hands. “I thought you were dying.”

“I can’t die,” Remus said. “That’s not a joke, Webs. I don’t just regenerate fast, I can’t be killed.”

“How the fuck was I supposed to know that?”

Remus shrugged, a little put off because this was not how he’d expected this to go. Damn Spiderman and his stupid savior complex.

He turned his attention back to the bullet wound, the pain already faded to a familiar numbness, but two gloved hands grabbed his wrists before he could start digging around for the bullet.

“Here,” he said, obnoxiously soft. “I’ve got it, let me help.”

“Nah, it’s cool,” Remus said, tensing against his will at the thought of someone else caring for a wound. “It’s not too deep, I can get it.”

“Are your gloves clean?”

He took a minute to consider that, calculating the swords he’d been holding, the gun he’d reloaded that morning, coming up blank when he tried to think of the last time he’d properly cleaned any of his weapons. Not to mention he had to climb buildings with his hands, lacking Spidey’s abilities to walk up walls and propel himself across the city in seconds.

“Probably,” he lied. “What am I gonna do, get sick?”

Spiderman hesitated. “Do you do that?”

“No.”

“I can still get it,” Spidey said. “Let me help.”

Remus scoffed, trying to cover up his own uneasiness. “You wanna stick your hand in there? You know it’s gross, right?”

“I know how to remove a bullet, Deadpool,” Spiderman said. “I’ve gotten shot before, I can get it.”

There was no reason not to drop his arms and let Spiderman do what he wanted. The asshole was stubborn, but he obviously meant well. With how shaky Remus’s hands were, Spidey getting the bullet out would probably be quicker anyway.

And he was the city’s hero. He’d made it clear he didn’t mean Deadpool any harm, especially not when the Merc had so graciously dropped in to save his ass today.

Remus didn’t know why it was so hard to just relax.

“This is dumb,” he said, wondering if he could annoy Spidey into giving up. “I can handle it fine.”

“I know,” the vigilante said. “But I want to help. It’s like...returning the favor or whatever.”

Remus sighed, a little shaky now, but reluctantly nodded. The longer they argued, the faster the skin would heal over the bullet still lodged in his chest, and Remus would really like to avoid that happening. Again.

“Fine,” he growled. “Jesus, you’re stubborn.”

Under the mask, Remus was sure Spiderman was smirking at him. “Look who’s talking.”

Remus hadn’t expected Spiderman to be so gentle. He was digging a bullet wound out of Deadpool’s chest, there wasn’t really a way to make this a pleasant experience, but Spidey was taking his time, moving carefully as he dug into the wound.

“Could you hurry up?” Remus growled, teeth clenched. This would have been over in seconds if he was doing it himself. It was so much easier to just stick his hand in the wound, dig around for a second, and rip the bullet out. “I’m not exactly a fan of having someone else’s fingers in my chest.”

Spiderman didn’t even spare him a glance. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I got shot,” Remus snapped. “We’re well past that.”

Spidey didn’t respond after that and Remus for once stayed quiet to let him concentrate, breathing heavily to try to ignore the panic that came with being vulnerable like this. The vigilante couldn’t kill him, but he sure as hell could cause him a shit ton of pain.

But he wouldn’t. Remus had to keep reminding himself that he wouldn’t. Spiderman was insufferably good- he wouldn’t kick someone while they were down.

Eventually Spiderman’s fingers found the bullet and Remus gasped, forcing himself to shove the pain away and make a lewd sounding moan when Spidey’s fingers left the wound.

“Jesus,” Spiderman muttered, and Remus laughed when he tossed the bullet dripping in dark blood to the side. “You okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” Remus said, and he was. Physically at least. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a civil conversation with someone, let alone had someone willing to help patch him up. “See? All good. It’s already healing itself.”

True to his word, Remus’s chest was fusing itself back together, skin closing up over the still bleeding wound, the rest of the pain fading to a background throb. It’d be like nothing ever happened in ten minutes.

“Holy shit,” Spiderman muttered, leaning in close to watch. Remus tensed uncomfortably. “That’s...fucking wild.”

“Yeah, it’s great.” Remus brushed it off, scrambling to his feet and ignoring the way Spidey moved to try and help. “Anyways. Are there any more fights you need me to hold your hand through, or can I go take a nap?”

“Oh please,” Spidey scoffed. “I was fine. All you did was get in the way and get shot.”

“I saved your ass,” Remus retorted, smiling behind the leather mask. “You’d be dead if it weren’t for me, Webs.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Spiderman mumbled, but Remus was willing to bet money he was smiling too. “Go take your nap, Deadpool.”

Remus gave a mock salute, sheathing his sword and turning away from the remnants of the battle and starting for his apartment.

Maybe Spidey wasn’t so bad after all.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #spiderman virgil #deadpool remus #ts virgil #virgil sanders #ts remus #remus sanders #violence tw #blood tw #gun tw #injury tw #writing #fanfiction #spiderman #deadpool #dukexiety

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tmmyhug · 3 years

Note

idk if it would be worth asking but i guess i’ll shoot my shot : is it worth it staying interested in the smp even with all the criticisms and issues that are in both in and out of the fandom? it feels like whenever i try to enjoy an aspect or something any of the creators do, i can’t help but feel like people would think i agree with certain ideals that are totally harmful and should be called out for so it makes it really hard :/// idk how i should feel about it so i think i’d like to hear from someone else if that’s alright

hellooo I’m finally ready to tackle this ask, sorry it took me like three days!! short answer: yes! long answer: it’s up to you. if you’re passionate about something, you have to decide whether that outweighs whatever ‘bad’ comes with it - whether that’s having to criticize aspects of it, deal with hate, ignore certain creators, etc.

oh jesus I just wrote a five thousand character essay. anon, I am so sorry if you wanted a quick response, because that is not what this is. here we go.

first off, an important thing to keep in mind is that nothing is perfect. problematic media has always existed. everything you could possibly be interested in will have issues, and there will be people who criticize those - as they have a right to. unfortunately, there will also be people who decide anyone who likes the thing is equally as bad as the things wrong with it. the way to get around this is to curate your experience: block people and tags, find your fellow fans, sequester yourself in a safe corner of the fandom. (twitter makes this difficult, which is one reason I prefer tumblr.)

as far as your personal conscience goes? generally, if you listen to what the people affected by the issues are saying and change your behavior effectively, it’s hard to go wrong. I know that sounds like a bit of a cop-out answer, but because you’re already worried about being perceived as someone who agrees with problematic ideals, I think you’ve got a pretty good moral compass to follow :) and when you’re unsure, you reach out to other people, just like this! so good on you.

an example from my own experience is schl*tt (censored to keep out of tags). I personally don’t know much about schl*tt. I liked his acting on the smp and his character is one of my favorite villains. but because I saw hurt people - fans I trusted the judgement of and who sourced their proof - speaking out about things he’s done, I decided not to subscribe to him or watch his content. that’s my way of saying, I will enjoy what I like about this problematic thing but not actually support it. so I can still enjoy c!schl*tt without feeling guilty. your way might be different. say you love his content but don’t want to support him - it’s easy to rip videos off youtube for a quick watch or even just get an adblocker. I don’t see it as any different than pirating a disney movie.

thankfully, though, not all issues are that extreme. sometimes people just make mistakes - eg. phil’s r-slur clip. and that’s where your own judgement really comes in. personally, I don’t care that phil said the r-slur eight years ago, for a number of reasons. I’m allowed to decide that on my own, because I’m part of the group affected. if I wasn’t, though, I would still have to make a decision about whether or not to keep supporting him - and you do that by finding the people affected and listening to their opinions. it’s rarely black and white because people often feel differently about the same thing, but it’s the only way to really see whether the issue is a make-or-break for you.

of course, it’s not easy! I’m often conflicted about how I should feel about a certain creator. that’s where the community helps. track down the well known and respected fans, the people who write good essays, the blogs closely engaged with their fellow fans and who are open to conversation. see what the fandom is saying. keep an open mind and learn. it’s fine to take your time, too - I haven’t even fully made up my mind on how I feel about dream himself yet, only that nothing he’s done is bad enough to make me stop watching his content.

also, unlike many other media, dsmp is not one cohesive whole with one or two creators, so you can rarely apply a problem one creator has to the whole thing. it’s fine to enjoy certain streamers and not others and still watch the smp. and you have to learn to ignore critics - people will generalize the smp. people will mock you for it. block, report, ignore, and vibe with the rest of us. don’t cut yourself off from something that brings you joy just because there are haters. you’re the only one who knows your true ideals, and you don’t owe an explanation of them to anyone.

one more thing - none of this is mandatory. it’s a good practice to be aware of the issues of a thing if you spend a lot of your time engaged with it, but when that thing is your comfort media, discourse can also be incredibly anxiety-inducing. if you don’t want to think about it? don’t. go watch tommy fight god for the umpteenth time and ignore the fandom completely. you are not irredeemable for liking something, and no one has the right to call you out for simply enjoying content. fandom is a hobby, not an obligation to discuss societal issues. and there will always be other people writing discourse essays that you can peruse when you feel up to it - you don’t have to do any of the heavy lifting if you don’t want to.

that’s all! ahhhh this was not supposed to be so long. I know i'm kinda rambly :/ I hope it was helpful! and I wish you luck in braving fandom discourse, dear anon.

#ok to reblog #oops i meant 5 thousand characters not 5 thousand words

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mayonnaisetoffees · 3 years

Text

Mayo's Fic Recs

List of my favourite fics below the cut; this list is a WIP and completely personal taste; a mix of fandom classics and lesser knowns

Please remember to leave comments and kudos for the authors and podficcers!

*shows particular favourites

Fandoms currently included: Spn, Merlin, Les Mis, BatFam

Fics That Changed Me Fundamentally

Loaded March*** by Footloose. Merlin | E | 1.26M(Series)/ 35k (First part) | 188k hits (First part)

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can’t keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn’t good enough, either. Except he is.

You can read all about my thoughts on Loaded March here, here, and here. Basically this fic series is beautifully written, has absolutely delicious UST, has found family, magic, and high stakes. It’s been part of my life for almost a decade now, I made friends through LM that I still have to this day, and it genuinely changed me as a person. Plus there are 78k of Extras to itch that I Finished Now What scratch. Parts 1-5 have been podficced and you can find them in works inspired by this one in each part.

Down to Agincourt*** by Seperis. Supernatural | E | 1.12M(Series)/ 154k (First part) | 73k hits (First part)

The world’s already over and they’re already dead. All they’re doing now is marking time until the end.

S7!Dean is transported back to the aftermath of where 5x04 The End left off. Much like LM, DtA was one that I avoided for a while. I didn’t think it would be my thing. I’m not usually into End!verse, it sounded so bleak from the summary, and it sounded so long for something I wasn’t sure about. If you’re reading this and nodding along? You are as much a fool as I was. Yes, it’s the end of the world. But it’s not over yet. This is a beautiful journey in what it means to be yourself, how to survive the end of the world, a How-To for Coups, and a study in food as a love language. I only read this fic this year, but like LM, it has genuinely changed me. Map of the World has been podficced.

Supernatural

Let’s start with the current hyperfixation. All of these are at least passively Dean/Cas unless otherwise stated. I've split into ones from my first time around in the SPN fandom and more recent ones because the vibes are actually really different and it took me some time to adjust (Not in a bad way! In a time has passed they have grown as characters way)

Old-School SPN (AKA the Classics my first time around)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Home in Motion* by nomdeplume13 M | 232k | 48k hits

Castiel swore he was done with spur of the moment decisions that permanently changed Dean Winchester's life. A year after the angel's most disastrous, his newest may present the largest challenge of dean's life: Fatherhood.

Did someone say kid!fic in canonverse? This is perfect. Canon divergence from the end of S6. Cas saves a baby from a neglectful mother and gives him to Dean to raise. They all move in with Bobby. Great OCs. Bobby considers Cas his son. Listen everything I say here will not be able to begin to encompass how much I love this fic. Just trust me on this one.

Named* by RC_McLachlan M | 95k | 95k hits

Jesus Christ is dead. Somehow, that isn't the worst part of Dean's week.

With a summary like that, need I say more? No but I'm gonna. This is one of the funniest fics I've ever read, but it doesn't take any emotion from the serious moments, if anything it heightens them. There are so many quotes from this I think about all the time. It was written in 2010 and so there's a bit of misogyny/character assassination of Anna in places.

Second Childhood by CloudyJenn (read by exmanhater) G | 16k (1h30) | 10k hits

"Dude, I can't do this whole thing by myself," Dean said with far more desperation leaking into his tone than he liked. It would just be too much to make it through hell and death and Lucifer only to have Castiel bail on him because of a frigging baby.

They beat the Apocalypse (OG-S5) and then Sam gets de-aged by a spell. I've listened to this so many times I know it by heart, it's an ultimate comfort fic to me.

Defy Any and All Expectation* by Tenoko1 (read by Tenoko1) M | 138k (14hrs) | 37k hits

Chuck's newly released books tell of another war between Heaven and Hell. Team Free Will sets out to try to defy prophecy, only to realize there is a lot more at stake and amiss than the not-quite-accurate words of one Prophet of the Lord. Along the way, Dean and Cas' relationship continues to evolve into something neither expected or were prepared for, all of their lives transforming in ways no one could have expected. But with no shortage of cases, monsters, and mayhem, it's going to require the help of new friends and old enemies if they're to have a hope of saving the world one more time. Alternate Season Six.

So this is a re-written version of Tenoko1's The Path We Choose which I don't think is around anymore. By the time I was reading the re-write as each chapter came out, I knew every single line of TPWC and it wasn't all that much shorter. It's such a perfect canon divergence because they are all 100% in-character. If you're into podfic, you already know what an absolute gift 14 hours is, but if you have never tried podfic before, Tenoko1 is a fantastic place to start. Her voice is soothing and energetic and her Cas sometimes comes to mind when I'm reading fic in Misha's place (sorry Misha)

His Fucking Kids 'Verse by 8sword M | 96k(Series)/ 3k (first part) | 26k hits (first part)

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

Emma survives and Dean and Cas are raising her and Claire. This fic series will make you laugh, make you cry, and (nowadays) make you wish Emma had survived to be a part of Wayward Sisters.

One Species Too Many by wallmakerrelict E | 22k | 37k hits

While Dean is laid up for a month after breaking his leg on a hunt, Cas decides that it's a perfect time to adopt a litter of kittens. But even though he's gotten better since Purgatory, Cas still isn't quite the same as he was before fixing Sam's head, and being trapped in a cabin with him for weeks on end is making that all the more obvious to Dean. When Sam takes off on a hunt, Dean has to figure out on his own how to navigate his new relationship with Cas while also helping to raise a bunch of fuzzballs that aren't even cute. Not even a little bit. (Well, maybe a little bit.)

Dean breaks his legs, and honey!Cas brings home some kittens to foster. It's achingly sweet and also painful because you know Dean wants to fix Cas but there's nothing to fix. It is tagged for ableism for this.

Tripping* by Hatteress E | 49k | 78k hits

That time the universe decided Dean belonged with Cas and wasn't afraid to pull out the big guns to make it so. Big guns in this case being obsessive fangirls, archangels turned tricksters and overly enthusiastic cupids. Welcome to Dean's life.

Alt!S5 and it is beautiful. Also any fic with Missouri is an automatic win.

Broadway Musical by Grifitings M | 12k | 79k hits

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle. The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at. Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

Jimmy deserves a sainthood and frankly I don't even want to hear about crack if it's not on the level of the Host yelling at Cas not to touch the butt.

Classic AUs (AKA AUs from my first time around)

Try Something Tuesday by almaasi E | 48k | 144k hits

Dean Winchester teaches a third-grade class. He's new to this whole ‘bisexual’ thing - but by pure happenstance, he meets Castiel: a particularly dapper male librarian who moonlights as a substitute teacher. Dean's curious and Castiel is willing, so why the hell not? Except, fate never intended it to be one-time-only...

This was one of the first spn fics to really really stay with me and it never really left.

Rock 'n' Roll Queer Bar by ChasingRabbits E | 127k(Series)/ 8k (Part1) | 29k hits (Part1)

Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without.

This series. If you've ever felt unsure or out of place or anxious or just really felt like no-one understood you, this fic is for you. I first found this series when I was coming to terms with my queerness and I genuinely think it was invaluable. Also I am a sucker for the go for a dinner at Cas's family and end up storming out trope.

Play It All Night Long by janie_tangerine (read by Tenoko1) NC17 | 43k (4hrs)

The rom-com-ish one where Dean hosts a late night radio show, Castiel is a regular listener of his who starts calling one day and ends up calling more often than not and Dean finds himself liking it. This, until one day Castiel calls for not exactly petty reasons (just before Dean's brother Sam is visiting with his girlfriend for spring break) and things get very, very crowdy at his place. He also doesn't know it's just the beginning of it. Also features Gabriel, Chuck, Andy, the Roadhouse crew and a huge amount of music quoted. Especially Bob Dylan.

Again, this podfic has got me through many a night of insomnia. Cas calls in after a particularly shitty day and it all goes from there.

New-School SPN (AKA post-2014)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara E | 57k | 28k hits

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says. Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away. Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

There is a reason you will see this recced time and time again. It healed parts of me I didn't know needed healing.

So Says the Sword* by komodobits E | 85k | 73k hits

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’ Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected

I saw ssts mentioned in like every single If you're getting back into the fandom READ THIS rec list. For good reason. It's described as "canon-adjacent in that seasons one to three happened exactly the same, but when Dean goes to Hell, he is not raised by Castiel". It's one of the most interesting concepts I've read and it's one of those fics where the writing style will stick with you. Castiel POV in a way you've never read before.

Aching in the Absence of You* by sobsicles E | 95k | 9k hits (in 5 days)

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back. He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales. "Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time. By nightfall, Cas is gone.

If you don't already know sobsicles, I am delighted to introduce you to the person who will smash you to pieces with a hammer to put you back together Kintsugi-style. This one is post-finale but without 15x18 (it'll make sense as it goes). Cas says he's going to leave again and again Dean doesn't ask him to stay. Full of lines so beautiful they'd make Shakespeare weep, Sobsicles has this way of writing that is so evocative and paints such a clear picture. Fair warning, if you're Dean-coded, this might be A Lot.

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)** by sobsicles E | 108k | 25k hits

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next. ~~~ Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want." "What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before." "Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out." "Easier said than done."

Yes, two sobsicles recs back to back. This one I read first and it still holds such a special place in my heart. A sign of a good fic is being able to picture it perfectly. The sign of an amazing fic is that when reading this I was so in Dean's shoes I could feel a pool cue between my hands and Baby behind my back. And I sobbed like a baby in this. It has probably my favourite ending ever. It's genuinely beautiful. If you don't read another on this list, read this one.

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara M | 52k | 14k hits

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean. (A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

The ultimate Cas character study and interwoven with poetry.

So There It Is, I've Said It All by PorcupineGirl (read by Ceewelsh) G | 4k | 13k hits

"Why, do you have something you need to say to me that you don't think I'll like?" I think I'm in love with you. "Yeah. I guess so."

Dean figures out he's in love with Cas then can't stop thinking it. This is genuinely beautiful and if you've ever had trouble actually saying the thing you're thinking, you'll relate to Dean here. I recently did the podfic for this.

you won't find this place alone by amidsizedfrog G | 9.5k |

When Claire said she was dropping out of college to pursue hunting full time, Dean said, “right,” and left the room. Or, the cross-generation conversation about formal education, choosing your own path and figuring out what it looks like to find a family. Or, in other words: "But what I do have is a GED and a give-'em-hell-attitude, and I'll figure it out." - Dean Winchester

This is a beautiful look at education in the hunter world, and I love anything that looks at Dean and Bobby's relationship and this does it perfectly. Also best cameo ever.

Seek to Know You Better by ahurston E | 33k | 23k hits

Dean and Cas, a long stretch of highway, and 36 questions empirically designed to make two people fall in love. As if they weren't already.

This is perfect. It has a lovely slow pace like it has the vibes of an indie film if that makes sense? Like it's two guys going from place to place talking. It was an instant favourite.

Newer AUs (AKA more recent AUs)

And This, Your Living Kiss* by opal_bullets M | 57k | 69k hits

Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen.

When I asked which fics were absolute must-reads for someone who'd been out of the fandom a few years, this was said repeatedly. But what really got me to read it was everyone actually told me more about what it meant to them than just the summary. It's a study in poetry, a study in learning who you are and who you used to be, and a reminder that it's never too late.

The Graveyard Shift* by riseofthefallenone, PurgatoryJar E | 620k | 175k hits

Dean’s favourite coffee shop, The Graveyard Shift, is only open after the sun goes down. Which is perfect for him, because that’s exactly when he craves coffee the most while doing the overnight at the fire hall. The coffee shop’s owner is pretty perfect too, but it’s kind of a bummer that Dean never gets to see Cas during the day. In a world where the supernatural live more or less in peace with the rest of humanity, it’s a little impolite to ask Cas just what he really is - or what his dark past entails.

A fantastic magical realism fic - magical creatures live and work with humans. Gabe and Cas run a coffee shop, Dean is a fireman, and the burn is slow and delicious and the intrigue kept me reading for like a week every single spare minute.

Painted Angels by WinJennster E | 106k | 162k hits

Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. He's put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesn't go like Cas hoped. Dean's a broken man, with a lot of scars and secrets, shoulders weighed down by his demons and self loathing. Cas sees a second chance with the man he's never stopped loving, but Dean's moved on, and is about to get married. Sam launches a "brilliant" plan to reunite his brother and his best friend, but Cas is worried it will all blow up in their faces, and he'll go through the agony of losing Dean a second time.

The first part of this I actually saved back when I was first in the fandom but I never got around to reading it (I had a To Read folder of 100+ fics that I absolutely dove into when I got back into spn) and the rest of the series finished in 2016 so I'm counting it in this section not the other. On the one hand, I wish I'd read this when it first came out. It's beautiful and heartbreaking, and so visual. On the other hand, I think I appreciated it a lot more now than I would have seven years ago. The parallel of me coming back to the old fandom that I loved dearly with Cas coming back to see someone and places he loved so much really hit. (Although coming back to the spn fandom was much easier and much less heartbreak!)

Finale Fix-Its (yeah fuck you Dabb that this has to be a whole category)

The Goldenrod Revisions by aethylas M | 66k | 15k hits

A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.

Script format re-write of 15x19 and 15x20 into a 5-episode finale fix-it. As far as I'm concerned, this and chocolatecakecas's American Pie fanvid are the Supernatural finale.

break the skin (to break the barriers)* by sobsicles M | 30k | 9k hits

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment. ~~~ Dean is silent for a long, tense moment, then he gruffly says, "It's not for banishing the angels. It's to summon them. So, it doesn't—it's not to get rid of 'em, but to draw 'em in." Mitzi can't help but glance up at him at that. His voice is so heavy with so much unexplained pain, and she doesn't understand why, or what angels have to do with it. She knows religion can impact people. She's very aware that it can get complicated, and that it can be a huge source of pain for someone, but Dean sounds grievously wronged, somehow, as if it's a truly personal thing. She pushes through, focusing back on her job, clearing her throat before murmuring, "Well, I guess we all want angels to visit us sometimes." "Just the one," Dean mumbles. "Your guardian angel?" Mitzi asks. Dean breathes out, "Something like that. As close to one as an angel will ever get."

Therapy through getting tattoos and telling your life story to someone who obviously doesn't think it's real. Outsider!POV not just done well, but done literally the best.

Kingdom Come by ahurston E | 17k | 10k hits

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

I don't know if this counts as finale fix-it as it's more fuck the finale we're ignoring that. There's just so much love and care in this fic.

The Family Business by chai_lattes M | 16k | 5.5k hits

It's all over. It's been weeks since Chuck's defeat and Cas' return from the Empty. There are no threats on the horizon, no apocalypses to stop, but there's something that keeps the Winchesters from being happy. Something that's maybe always been there. On their way back from a hunt, they find John Winchester, back from the dead.

If you're anything like me, you start rubbing your grubby little hands together at the tag John Winchester's A+ Parenting like yes let's address this! This is one of the best examples of John coming back and how it jars with the life that they have built. Also Claire and Jack getting to share screentime!

Merlin

If I have a forever fandom, it's Merlin. I've always kept one foot in this fandom, and it introduced me to fandom, and most importantly to podfic which kinda had an impact. All Merthur unless stated.

Canon-Verse

Seven Magpies by syllic (read by lunchee) E | 33k (3hr15) | 58k hits

Arthur opened his eyes a minute later to the sight of seven magpies streaking across the top of the clearing, their shapes dark against the white clouds and the muted grey of the sky. He tried to remember what it was that seven magpies meant—he'd had a nurse who had sung the rhyme to him as a child—but couldn't. Arthur wakes up somewhere he doesn't recognise, but where he clearly belongs.

Okay so this is an AU but it's Canon-AU so it's going here. Fantastic role reversal fic that you will be thinking about for weeks.

and from your grace, i fell by TheDragon (read by Ceewelsh) T | 4.6k (41mins) | 13k hits

“Where’s Merlin?” he asks the maid. “Where’s that idiot of a Court Sorcerer?!” “Begging your pardon, Your Majesty. I thought you knew,” the maid replies, not daring to look him in the eyes. “He’s taken ill.” “And he couldn’t be bothered to tell me himself that he would be unable to attend today’s council meeting?” Arthur questions, voice full of acid. “He hasn’t woken since he collapsed two days ago, Sire,” the maidservant says, blissfully unaware that what she’s saying the power to stop Arthur’s heart in its tracks.

When I first read this, it had me completely transfixed. I could not stop reading. It was so raw and so full of emotion. I was then lucky enough to get TheDragon in our exchange, so I did a podfic for it and it's probably the most proud I've been of one.

Modern AU

The Student Prince* by FayJay (read by FayJay) M | 145k (15hrs) | 696k hits

A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...

A classic is a classic for a reason. I'm also pretty sure this introduced me to podfics so like special place in my heart x2. Did you know if you filter AO3 by hits on Merlin, this has 426k more hits than the second result? Now that is a Fandom Classic.

Drastically Redefining Protocol* by rageprufrock (read by lunchee) E | 46k (5hr30) | 269k hits

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

As I always say, if this can happen to me and I still love the fic, nothing is going to change that. Arthur hides from his duties in a cupboard and gets stuck in there with a chainsmoking med student.

Fundamental Imperfections by Starlingthefool (read by bravenclawsome) M | 12k (1hr35) | 123k hits

In which an argument about Dickens leads to a Twitter scandal, broken bones, midnight conversations, and transatlantic longing. (Or, an AU with Arthur and Merlin as moderately famous authors.)

This fic has everything: Charles Dickens, long distance texting, Morgana choking a Sherlock cosplayer with his own scarf. This is the ultimate comfort fic and I compare all fics to this even when they're incomparable. I never read the sequel because it was WIP and I was waiting for it to complete, it hasn't been updated since 2015 and apparently ends on an unhappy note, so if you're going to read the sequel you have been warned.

Les Mis

Modern!AU

Overzealous Oddities by YassHomo e/R, Courf/Cosette/Marius, Comb/Ép | G | 6.4k | 4k hits

Courfeyrac: Remember when I smashed our tv and we laughed about it? Enjolras: No. Courfeyrac: Let me rephrase Courfeyrac: I've smashed our tv, lets laugh about it.

I love me a text fic and this is in my opinion the best one around. Just look at that summary. I have quoted that so many times.

But Paris was a very old city and we were young* by GingerNinjaAbi E/R, Courf/Jehan | M | 99k | 42k hits

Perhaps somewhere in between all the cups of coffee, shots of tequila, sunny March days, terrible lumpy jumpers, love, cigarettes, drunken nights and the desire to change the world they'll all leave Paris with a degree in something. Or not. Grantaire's money is on no. But he's a pessimist who's hopelessly in love, so perhaps his opinion shouldn't count.

The ULTIMATE modern!AU tbh.

Tagged by Salomonderiel E/R, Courf/Jehan | E | 155k | 28k hits

So there's this artist. He could probably be compared to Banksy, but he's a lot more... cynical. He shares rooms with a poet who braids his hair with flowers, in a flat near Covent Garden they rent from a short-tempered shop keeper with a penchant for fans and who'd do anything if you mentioned Poland. Sometimes, the three of them will go and deface public buildings in London whilst completely smashed off their heads. And then there's this, shall we say, 'revolutionary'. He has a band of other revolutionaries, who all meet at this cafe by Borough Market. He shares rooms with his best mate, a philosophy student, spends too much time with a flirty guy who has a thing for poets, goes boxing with a guy in a red vest, wants to punch the wet sop who drools on the blonde waitress and is getting tired of this guy who keep breaking his laptops through sheer dumb luck. Thank god the hypochondriac's there to keep an (slightly too) attentive eye on their stress levels. The revolutionary thinks the graffiti artist's work is a waste of space. The artist thinks the revolutionary's campaigns are a waste of time. And all the while, the poet and the flirt drool over each other in the background...

This is perfect and it's funny and it's beautiful and it rips my heart out multiple times.

Canon

To Be Free by kjack89 (read by Ceewelsh) Gen, Cosette/Marius | T | 3.8k (32mins) | 375 hits

Three blows from a bayonet had transfixed Combeferre’s breast, followed by a fall from the barricade as he rapidly lost first blood and then consciousness. But neither of these, it seemed, was enough to kill him, as much as later he might perhaps wish that they were.

I read this because it was on a list kjack89 did of their favourite fics which don't necessarily have the same hits traffic. It's nothing I would have usually read (canon era, not e/R, MCD) but I am so glad I gave it a go. It's a study on what if Combeferre had survived the barricades too and the guilt. This stayed with me for days afterwards until I eventually messaged kjack89 to get permission to podfic it.

BatFam

Canonish (I don't know differences between canons but these are all they're superheros fics)

Robins United by laceymcbain (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | T | 49k (6h15)/ 19k (2h25) (First part) | 103k hits

Bullets, knives, a three story fall, even a fucking crowbar hadn't managed to keep Jason down permanently, but Dick Grayson (and the rest of his "family") was going to kill him with kindness.

The ultimate batbros series. Also if you haven't heard reena_jenkins' podfics before, you are welcome. Pre-pandemic I took a lot of public transport and reena_jenkins kept me sane.

batcoons by drakefeathers (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | G | 6k (49mins) | 14k hits

Jason and raccoons have a lot in common. (Additionally: his so-called family are much bigger pests than the stray animals hanging around his safehouse.)

This is funny, it's heartwarming, and it's a really good character study.

Here Comes the Sun by batsy_rocks Clark/Bruce | T | 19k | 20k hits

Clark Kent is a kind-hearted reporter working in the big city. Bruce Wayne is a stressed dad of four with no idea of what he's doing. Then they meet.

Bruce Wayne is a Tired Single Dad™. It's genuinely such a sweet fic.

#fic rec #spn fic rec #merlin fic rec #les mis fic rec

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captains-writing-desk · 4 years

Text

Inappropriate

Universe: BBC Sherlock

Character: Mycroft Holmes

Type: F!Reader insert (I, me, we)

Words: 2,011

Warnings: Swearing.

Note: Jesus lads... This was quite cathartic to write in a way. Took some interesting turns... I won’t lie it almost took a different turn towards the end with cheekiness ;)

Mycroft joins you on a walk after you get angry with him and his brother. Awkward angsty fluffiness ensues.

“Deduce me again Mycroft Holmes and I’ll see to it that you suffer.” I spoke without lifting my eyes from my reading material. He immediately averted his gaze and idly rolled his palm over the handle of his umbrella. “And tell your shit of a brother he can stop fucking trying too.” My voice did not waver once and remained low in tone- perhaps making it more sinister.

“I am right here.” The brother muttered from his arm chair and I raised my brow, peaking over the top of the newspaper for one moment just to reiterate, “Personally.”

“Well we can’t help it can we, it’s something we’ve always done, it’s not our fault that you’re more fun to try. “ Sherlock never knew when to shut up which was one trait Mycroft at least had the decency to inhabit.

“You CAN help by not turning me into a game.” Mycroft looked rather offended as did his brother, “Don’t look at me like that. You’re hardly sneaky about it, seeing who can get a deduction first and just how much fucking money have you both put into this hm? Acting shocked as if you were being so fucking sneaky, you haven’t fooled anybody... Dickheads.”

“I’m sorry, you turned someone’s trauma into a game?” John piped up emerging from the kitchen , my eyes narrowed at him.

“You boys should be ashamed of yourselves. Such an awful thing to do.” Mrs. Hudson followed from the kitchen who was met with a direct glare and with that, I folded the paper up neatly and rose to my feet.

“I rather despise this household sometimes. I’m going for a walk.” I’d had quite enough of this nonsense and had thrown my coat on and shut the front door behind me before anyone could speak up.

“Rather foul mouthed isn’t she?” Sherlock commented.

“Hot blooded.” John hummed in agreement.

“I find it rather endearing, oddly.” Mycroft mused as the room openly stared at him which he took as his cue to also leave.

“I’ll scream.” Mr. Government had caught up to me and I just couldn’t be hassled to deal with him and yet, he persisted.

“I don’t doubt that. Bare in mind however, that we are in London. Nobody would even flinch if you screamed.” He reasoned.

“What if I screamed 'bomb' and threw something?” Highly insensitive yes but I was angry.

“I stand corrected.”

“Yes and what a lovely mess that’ll leave you to deal with.”

“I’d rather you didn’t.” His voice a little grave.

“Then perhaps you should bugger off hm?”

“Perhaps.” Yet he remained by my side even as my pace quickened, the swearing had subsided a little so I couldn’t be quite as angry right?

“Where exactly are you walking to?” I suppose my route made no sense to him, then again, made no sense to me either.

“Why do you want to know? Just follow.”

“So I can follow you now? No need to ‘bugger off'?” He was amused, but not at his comment, rather at the fact I would let him tag along. Not amusement, elation.

“You would be following me regardless and by that standard all you need to know is which way I am pointing and that will be where you’re going too.”

“I see. So we are just wandering aimlessly?”

“I am wandering aimlessly. YOU are wandering after me.” Why did that make him feel stupid? Perhaps it made him think too much into why he liked to stay around me as long as he could.

“Yes, sir.” He was making it seem like my fault, as if I’m ordering him to follow me. Can’t say I minded it.

We made it to Whitehall gardens and ambled through, staring at the flora that had started to turn with the autumnal weather. I was hungry now as I walked through the park and down to the embankment so I bought a pretzel from a little hut whilst Mycroft trailed behind on the phone about something so I expected him to leave soon.

I sat myself down on the wall with one leg tucked underneath myself so that my body was turned slightly and I could gaze through the bars my back rested against and watch the river.

Moments later Mycroft came and sat next to me, mirroring my pose only with his leg crossed over the other instead and he watched me for a moment until I looked at him.

“You can go. I’m quite happy sat here.” Not that he needed my permission to go but it felt as if I needed to remind myself that he could go, that I didn’t need him with me.

“I’ve got nowhere to be.” He raised a brow when he saw me relax, a wave of relief washing over me then the lamposts all turned on, what with the shorter autumnal days. I glanced around at the red leaves now lit up in this strange new light then back to Mycroft who had an amused smile fringing on his lips.

“Good,” I smiled, feeling an odd new confidence, “Do you mind if I stay here a bit longer?”

“Not at all.” He leaned back on the rails slightly as I took a bite of my pretzel, still warm from the vendor.

“Here.” I noticed Mycroft pull the sleeves of his coat down a little from the cold so I tore the pretzel in half and offered him a piece. ‘Does he even like common food?’ I thought and laughed internally at how odd that sounded. “It’s warm” I added still holding it to him. He thought about it as if it was a big decision but eventually took it.

“Thank you.” He smiled, thankful for the bit of warmth it provided him.

“It won’t kill you. Probably.” I looked out across the river feigning being suspicious.

“I’ll take my chances.” He chuckled and took a bite, humming at how surprisingly nice it was as I took the last bite of my own half and shook the crumbs of my hands then tucked them between my thighs to keep them warm.

Once he finished his half he turned further towards me and leaned in slightly.

“I apologise for earlier. It was uncouth of me.” He cleared his throat nervously but looked directly into my eyes where I saw the sincerity in his apology.

“It’s alright, You can’t help it. Besides,” I sighed, “I know you do it often- both of you. I suppose today I wasn’t in the best of moods to put up with it.” Truth be told I’d had a shit day. The sort of day where everyone I encountered decided to make my day worse than the last person had.

“Did anything happen?” He asked and I looked at my hands for a moment before furrowing my brows and looking back up to him.

“I’m not traumatised you know? That’s just John’s theory on me.” I wasn’t sure why I started with that but I suppose it did feed into why my day was crap but more than anything really, I felt the need to explain myself to Mycroft. Maybe explain why I was so difficult and rude. He sensed I had more to say and let me finish.

“Truthfully I'm not really sure what’s wrong with me. I just can’t seem to figure out how to figure out what I feel or what to do. Some things I understand but then I just get overwhelmed to point where I just numb down. I can’t quite explain it but I it just makes me cold and it scares me. I never used to be like this and I don’t mean to be cold but I just am. Then when people point it out it makes me feel like shit and I get agitated but with the wrong people.” I started to choke up, “So I don’t know. I don’t mean to be that way.” I looked down at my hands and started fidgeting to distract myself.

“You’re not cold. I’m sure anyone that knows you can tell you that. You’re perfectly fine the way you are.” He made no great speech just a simple reassurance and it was that- reassuring. “I've never understood people. They are idiots.” He summarised and I laughed.

“That is true. Yes. Mycroft I-“ I looked at him and he leaned in expectantly, “I didn’t mean to unload all that on you.” I shot him an apologetic look.

“It’s quite alright. I’m glad you felt you could say it though. That and it’s my job to make people talk sometimes.” He joked.

“Don’t pull that crap. I did it because I needed to not because you made me. I'd never crack in an interrogation.” I teased.

“We shall see.” He lifted his brow and watched me carefully.

“Did I not say that you would suffer if I caught you deducing me again?” You narrowed your eyes at him with a smile threatening to escape.

“You did.” Though he didn’t stop watching and even cocked his brow playfully which surprised me. Was he flirting? A sadistic smile slowly crept up my face.

“Are you flirting with me?” I returned the scrutinising look and he was taken aback.

“Excuse me?” He recoiled.

“You heard me. Are you flirting with me?” I demanded now, leaning in to catch his eyes until he finally looked at me. “You are flirting.” I could see it in his eyes and I was surprised by my own realisation and honestly elated though I tried to conceal it. Though now I had no idea what to say.

“I’m sorry if I was inappropriate.” He finally spoke, breaking my train of racing thoughts then he stood up. My heart skipped a beat, I didn’t want him to leave. He turned to me and I looked up at him with my brows furrowed, unsure how to proceed. “Perhaps I should l-.“ I pushed myself into my knees, grabbing the lapels of his coat and kissed him. I knew what he was going to say and leaving was not an option so I panicked. I pulled away and searched his shocked expression.

“There.” I took a deep breath and sank back to sit on the feels of my feet, “Now we’ve both done something inappropriate.” I laughed nervously under my breath, drowning in my own awkwardness and searching for any words to say to make this moment go away. I definitely misread the situation, he was definitely not flirting. My head flopped into my hands and I groaned.

“I fucked up... I’m sorry.” I mumbled through my fingers. I only wanted to tease him, make him suffer a little, but now we were both suffering for the wrong reasons.

“You didn’t fuck up.” Mycroft’s voice was gentle as his palm rested between my shoulder blades, pulling me forward until my head rested against his stomach. I really hoped he would forgive me for this cock up but I couldn’t bring myself to show my face, now or ever. However, we couldn’t stay like this forever so he grabbed my hand that was still glued to my face in shame and he urged me to stand up. My legs felt like they barely worked but I managed to sort of flop to my feet in front of him , dropping my other hand to my side and just stared at his chest. He let go of my hand and if my heart could drop any further it would have but instead, it shot up into my throat when he grabbed my waist with both hands. I looked up to see him smile then pull me into him as he lowered his lips to my own.

He pulled back to look at me fluttering my eyes open and staring slack jawed.

“You didn’t fuck up.” He repeated and squeezed my waist reassuringly which snapped me out of my daze. I bit my lip trying to stop the smile they crept onto my lips.

#sherlock #reader insert #mycroft x reader #mycroft x you #mycroft holmes #mycroft holmes x reader #fanfiction

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barisiscourtroom · 3 years

Text

I've been wanting to write for a while, but I never seem to manage it, so I looked for easy ideas and found this prompt (that I as usual didn't follow exactly, but it's where the idea came from). This is just a silly little thing, but I had fun writing it, and I managed to finish something, so I'm happy with it =D

I love Munchfin, so I decided they got to be married in this. If you want to, you could easily read Liv and Amanda as a couple too, but I left that up to interpretation.

Also, Fin, you're fooling no one, you big soft. ❤

Big thanks to @novemberhush for the beta! ❤

An Unwise Insult ao3

864 words | Teen (for language) characters: Rafael, Sonny, Fin, Munch, Amanda, Liv, Original Character tags: Established Relationship, Fluff, Silly, Affectionate Insults, Married Barisi

They were at a fair, the squad and their partners, and Sonny had decided to try all the games. Including the ones he thoroughly sucked at. Both Fin and Amanda had beaten him in throwing horseshoes, but Sonny was nothing if not stubborn, so he was still at it, spending a small fortune trying to beat them. It wasn’t going well.

"God, he’s so stupid," Rafael said fondly from a few feet away, where they were gathered, watching him.

"Yet you married him," Fin said.

Rafael rolled his eyes and looked at Munch, who was discussing some conspiracy theory with a detective the squad was vaguely acquainted with that they had run into.

"Look who’s talking," Rafael said.

"At least my husband’s not literally throwing money away," Fin said.

"Dave looks frighteningly invested," Amanda said, looking at Munch and the detective. Dave.

"Hey," Olivia said, pulling their attention back to Sonny. "One more hit and he’ll have you both beat."

"Aw, hell no," Fin said.

Sonny missed. He lowered his head in defeat, but then he nodded to himself and paid for another go. "I can do this," he said loud enough that Rafael heard him, then he missed his first throw.

"What a fucking idiot," Fin said, and Rafael nodded.

"Yeah," Dave said with a little laugh, and Rafael and the whole squad turned as one to look at him.

"What did you say?" Rafael asked, his voice steel.

"He’s an idiot, he’s never gonna make it, I don’t get-"

Dave stopped talking when Rafael walked up to stand face to face with him. "What did you call him?" Rafael asked.

Dave had the sense to start to look unsure, but he still spoke. "An idiot?" he asked.

"I will fucking deck you, you asshole," Amanda hissed. Liv was holding her back when Rafael glanced at her. "Let me go, this fucking asshat thinks he can call Carisi an idiot."

Liv wasn’t holding Rafael back. His fists were tight at his sides, and he was glaring at Dave. Up at Dave, sadly, because he was tall as hell.

"Hey, you should probably apologize for calling Barba’s husband an idiot, or leave. Now," Munch said.

"But Fin called him an idiot too, and Barba called him stupid," Dave said.

Rafael was fairly sure there were veins visibly throbbing in his temples. "Are you his family?" he hissed.

"Just apologize and go," Munch said. "We really don’t want to arrest our ADA for assaulting a police officer today."

"Or your husband," Fin said.

"Or me," Amanda said.

"Hey, guys, what’s up?" Sonny said, looking confused but happy as he came to stand next to Rafael.

"This asshole called you an idiot," Rafael gritted out through clenched teeth.

"Aw, and you all got protective," Sonny said, beaming.

"No," Fin lied.

"Yes," Liv said. "They all got their stupid pants on, and Dave here is wearing an entire stupid suit, because he hasn’t apologized or left."

"But they were calling him stupid?" Dave said.

"Yeah, but they love me," Sonny said.

"No, I don’t," Fin said.

"Shut up, Fin," Liv, Amanda, and Rafael said in unison.

"Babe," Munch said tiredly, looking at Fin.

"I don’t!" Fin insisted.

"Right, whatever, I’m sorry I insulted the idiot spending money on shit he’ll never manage," Dave said.

"Leave. Now," Amanda hissed.

"I’d do as she says," Liv said, "because I won’t be able to hold her back much longer, and Rafael-"

"Rafael will make your life a living hell," Rafael said.

"Aw, babe." Sonny put a hand on Rafael’s cheek to turn his head to look at him. He was smiling, looking so in love and happy that Rafael almost forgot about Dave. "I love you too," he said.

"My Sunshine," Rafael said, smiling. "What would you do if Dave here called me stupid, and then refused to apologize?"

"He’s Italian," Fin kindly provided for Dave’s benefit. "Revenge is a whole thing for Italians."

"But he didn’t call you stupid," Sonny said.

"He called my husband an idiot, kinda implies I’m stupid to have married you, doesn’t it?" Rafael said, then smiled when Sonny slowly turned to face Dave.

"You all are insane," Dave said.

"Do you think Rafael is stupid?" Sonny asked, his voice cold.

"Jesus fucking Christ, okay, fine, I’m sorry for calling him an idiot," Dave said, finally starting to back away.

"Yeah, you go," Fin said.

"I ain't staying here, that’s for sure," Dave said.

"Good," Amanda said.

"Have a nice day," Munch said.

"See you never," Fin said.

"Fuck all of you," Dave muttered and walked away.

"One of these days I’m gonna hug you, Fin," Sonny said.

"No, you’re not," Fin said. "Go throw away some money on failing at horseshoes."

"Nah, I already won," Sonny said, gesturing to the counter, where a huge teddy bear was sitting.

"Shut up, really?" Amanda said.

"Oh, hell no," Fin said, stalking over to the guy manning the booth.

"Did you, really?" Rafael asked.

"Yeah, full pot, I knew I could do it," Sonny said, grinning.

"You’re an idiot," Rafael said fondly, and Sonny’s grin softened into a smile.

"Your idiot," he said.

"My idiot," Rafael agreed.

#Barisi #Barisi fic #Smowkie's fic

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ambersky0319 · 4 years

Note

Intrulogical wear Remus goes over to Logan's house, turns out he's a GAMER and they play Doki Doki literature club and goofily voice it over but then they kiss. -H anon

Okay, it isn’t the prompt exactly but I still really love this, and I hope y'all enjoy too! (Btw, despite the warnings below this is pretty fluffy! The warnings more so pertain to DDLC itself(Also this is pretty much a human AU))

Warnings: Spoiler warnings for Doki Doki Literature Club, suicide mention/description of a character’s suicide, lmk if I need to add anything else bc I’m unsure

Masterpost

——————————-

Remus was surprised when Logan had texted him, asking if Remus wanted to join Logan in playing a game he had recently gotten. People didn’t normally ask Remus to join things (aside from Logan himself, as they were dating), so Remus accepted immediately. Logan told him it would be one of those longer games, so Remus brought some stuff so he could stay the night.

Logan greeted him and his eyes seemed to light up. Remus wasn’t used to seeing Logan in anything but his usual polos and jeans and ties. He hadn’t expected for Logan to greet him in his pajamas already.

“Well, are you just going to stand there or are you gonna come inside?” Logan asked, smiling faintly as Remus ducked his head, walking into Logan’s apartment.

“What are we going to be playing?” Remus asked, setting his bag down where Logan had pointed, not far away from the couch. Remus soon joined Logan.

“Have you heard of Doki Doki Literature Club?”

Remus wrinkled his nose. “Sounds like a game Roman would like instead.”

“I think you’d prefer it, actually.” Logan said, getting the game set up. Remus got comfortable. He wasn’t really a gamer himself, and was quite surprised when he discovered that Logan loved video games. “It’s technically a dating sim, but from what I hear it covers quite a few dark themes. I’ve been avoiding a lot of spoilers for it though because I wanted to be able to play it myself first.”

“Why’d you invite me, though?” Remus asked, watching as the loading screen appeared. The warning appeared, and Remus furrowed his brows. “You also read the content warnings, right?”

“Yeah, none of our triggers are on there. Also, I invited you because I thought you might like it! It has a lot of dialogue and I thought you’d have fun making up the weirdest voices for the characters.”

Remus laughed lightly. “Okay, I trust you.” Logan gave him a bright smile, one Remus knew only few people saw. And that alone made his stomach tie into knots and feel like a jumble of saw despite having seen that smile dozens of times before. Logan turned back to the TV and hit I Accept, letting the main screen for the game come up. A bubbly music filled Logan’s apartment, and Remus couldn’t wait to get into it.

“Oh my God, I’ve got a bad feeling-” Remus gripped Logan’s arm as they continued. A few hours had passed already and things were starting to get weird. They had just gotten through an emotional scene with Sayori (Remus’s high-pitched voice for her made it so difficult to get through) and it was the next in-game day.

And Sayori wasn’t in the school.

“Of course something would go wrong right before the festival,” Logan stated, pushing up his glasses. He hadn’t said anything about Remus practically clinging to his arm.

Things had already starting getting a bit weird. But after learning Sayori had depression, and then promising to be there for her and saying they love her and not checking up on her in the morning…

“Hate the main character,” Remus muttered as he loosened his grip just a bit on Logan. “Honestly, like… Depression doesn’t work like that. Wish I could just hit him over the head with a bat. No! My morning star!”

Logan laughed. “You mean the one you stole from the museum.”

“No, the one my grandma gave me.” Remus rolled his eyes.

“I think dropping a few tons of sand on him would be better, honestly.” Logan stated, and before Remus could react they continued.

“At least he feels a little guilty, still doesn’t excuse it though,” Remus says, uncrossing his legs as they begin to feel tingly.

“You kind of left her hanging this morning, you know?” Logan reads in the calm voice they were using for Monika, and Remus and Logan exchange a worried glance.

“Oh… Oh no, no no… Sayori…” Remus buries his face into Logan’s shoulder, half of it at least. He still wanted to see what happened. They finished reading Sayori’s poem and Remus felt worried and he wished he could just grab Sayori and hug her and protect her himself.

Logan wraps an arm around Remus, holding him close as the game pans back to the houses, and they go to Sayori’s house. A sick feeling rests in both of their stomachs.

“Oh no, no no no no….”

The suspense was getting to Remus. He loved gore and horror but he hated the suspense in the few games he had played and the movies that felt with these topics.

“You alright?” Logan asked, looking to Remus worriedly. Remus nodded.

“Anxious about what we’re about to see,” he muttered, and Logan nodded, bringing the arm wrapped around Remus up to brush through Remus’s hair. The music was quiet and although Logan was worried as to what was about to be on screen, he just showed it less. He waited until he felt Remus relax slightly to continue.

They continued on, and after they opened the door-

“I knew it!”

“Oh God!”

They both jumped back, Remus burying his face again into Logan’s arm as Logan faced the door, only glancing back at the screen where Sayori hung. The music that followed just sent dread through them both.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Remus muttered as they sat back up to continue reading the narrative. “Poor Sayori, oh my God.” Remus rubbed his eyes as the loading screen came back.

“Hey, it’s different.”

“Huh?”

“Sayori’s place on the screen, it’s all glitched out. And the new game button.”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I hate this but I love it,” Remus laughs slightly, trying to get his racing heart to get back to a normal rate.

Logan rubbed his back, his heart also beating quickly. He opened up the files for the game, remembering that it was something you should do. Remus watched as Logan went through the game files, first opening a file called hxppy thxughts.

“Holy shit-” Logan hissed, melting into Remus’s warmth as Remus held him tighter. On the screen was a drawing of Sayori hanging, almost looking as though a child drew it.

Remus leaned forward to close out the file. “Should we check anything else?”

“Sayori was really glitched. The characters, maybe?”

Remus hummed softly, before opening up the character files. “No! Ooooh…..”

Remus fell back into Logan’s arms. “This is freaky!”

Logan laughed slightly at that. “It’s only being freaky now?”

“You know what I meant! It having an effect on the files!” Remus huffed. “I can’t believe she was deleted!”

They left the characters file, and instead scrolled through all the other ones, just to be certain they didn’t miss anything. They discovered a file which someone was talking about deleting Sayori, that it was probably better and that they hoped they didn’t break the game.

Remus buried his face into Logan’s shoulder again, groaning slightly. “There’s still a lot of the game left, huh?” He asked. Logan nodded..

“Want to save it for tomorrow?”

“Let’s see how the game is with Sayori deleted. Then try to sleep, probably being haunted by the image of Sayori hanging there in our nightmares.”

Logan made some form of noise that sounded like agreement, and he shifted so Remus could rest his head on Logan’s chest as they continued. He had one arm wrapped protectively around Remus though, whether for his own comfort or Remus’s, neither knew not cared. Remus just shuffled closer.

They continued, starting a “new” game, and got caught up yet again in the narrative, fascinated and terrified with how the game continued, with the game correcting itself without Sayori. It was more difficult to keep up their silly voices. It did lighten the mood though.

It took awhile to get used to it all, especially only just recovering from Sayori’s death.

“Something about Monika is the most off,” Remus said. Logan nodded as he saved the game, rubbing his eyes and yawning.

“She’s a really interesting character, that’s for sure.”

Logan turned off the TV, the only light now being a dim lamp. He stretched, and Remus didn’t think the nerd’s bones could pop any louder.

“Think we should head to bed, then?” Logan asked. They had snacked throughout the game, and weren’t that hungry. Remus could feel his face warm slightly.

“You sure?”

“I don’t see why either of us should sleep on the couch. Unless you’re uncomfortable with it, then you can have the bed and I can sleep out here!”

Logan smiled warmly, brushing some of Remus’s hair out of his face. Remus swallowed before smiling softly himself. No one besides Logan would ever want to be this close to him.

“I’m down to share a bed.”

Logan kissed his forehead before letting Remus go change into some pajamas.

Logan was already in bed by the time Remus had finished getting ready, and almost hesitantly Remus climbed in beside him.

“You’re certain you’re comfortable with this?” Logan asked. He really wanted to make sure Remus was okay with this, he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

Remus slung an arm over Logan’s waist, cuddling close. He nodded. “Yeah. I just don’t want to take things too fast.”

Logan pressed another kiss to the top of Remus’s head. “That’s understandable.” Logan made himself a bit more comfortable. “Just let me know if you ever get uncomfortable, yeah?”

“Will do.” Logan smiled and took off his glasses, leaning over Remus to place the glasses on the nightstand before turning the light off. On the ceiling, dozens of glow-in-the-dark stars. Remus pressed closer to Logan, sighing in content.

Soon enough, both were asleep, dreams wandering back to the game they had been playing.

——————————-

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myriadimagines · 4 years

Text

Lockdown

Deadly Class One Shot

Pairing: Reader x Lex Miller

Other Characters: Master Lin, Billy Bennet, Petra Yolga

Warnings: mentions of death, mild violence, swearing, alcohol consumption

Request: @theoriginalcreationcollecto-blog — “Hello. I saw the imagine you did for Lex and was wondering if I could get one too where Lex and the reader were childhood friends and he’s been in love with her since they were little but she has no idea so he gets jealous when she kissed someone else, and then her and Lex get stuck in lockdown together and they have to talk it out and he confessed that he loves her and she feels the same? Thank you 🙏”

Word Count: 1,205

A/N: thank you @theoriginalcreationcollecto-blog for donating to Fitzgerald & Virginia Dodd’s cause!! if you would like to request a one shot of your own, please read this post!

please reblog/leave comments, they’re very much appreciated!

“Fight’s over.”

You defensively shove one of the monks that roughly pushes you against the lockers, hands balled into fists as they flood the hallway. You had just witnessed Maria and Saya’s altercation, and now the monks were ushering everyone into their rooms, grabbing everyone and pushing them into whatever room is available. You look up in alarm at the scene, and before you can run off, an arm grabs yours, and the hooded figure drags you down the hall before you’re pushed into a room that isn’t even yours. You scowl, trying to rush back out the door, but your body collides with Lex’s as another monk shoves him into the room.

“This is bloody ridiculous!” Lex cries out, banging his fist against the door, and the both of you let out a collective groan as you hear the sound of the door being locked. Whatever’s going on, it looks like the two of you will be stuck together for a while.

“Another student is dead!” you hear Master Lin’s voice declare from the hallway, and you and Lex frown as you turn to look at one another. “And I will find out who’s responsible. You’re all on lockdown until I do.”

“Fuck.” Lex bangs his fist on the door one last time before turning around, flopping down on one of the beds that occupies the room. Based on the Japanese posters that hang from the wall, you’d guess this room belonged to some Kuroki Syndicate members. Throwing his hands up in the air, Lex complains, “We could be in here for bloody forever!”

You sit down on the other bed, folding your arms across your chest as you let out a heavy sigh. “Well, at least we’re stuck in here together. I might end up killing another student if I ended up with Brandy Lynn or any other Dixie Mob member.”

Lex suddenly becomes very aware of the situation, and you raise an eyebrow at him as you notice him become uncharacteristically quiet. He nervously runs a hand through his spiked hair, tugging at his leather jacket before he clears his throat, and bitterly responds, “I’m sure you’d rather be stuck here with other people though, huh?”

Your eyebrows furrow. “What are you talking about?”

Lex shrugs, attempting to appear nonchalant despite his heart pounding wildly in his chest. He’s overthinking this too much, he tells himself, but he can’t quite meet your eyes, worrying he’ll become completely undone if he does. You should be the person he’s most comfortable with, considering the fact that you’ve known each other since you were children. You were there for him when his father got arrested for something he didn’t even do. You were side by side when you made your way to San Francisco, and it was you who insisted that Lex be enrolled in King’s Dominion with you when you were first approached. Lex can’t imagine his life without you, which is one of the many reasons why he’s fallen for you.

Of course, you have no idea. Lex has come so close to telling you his true feelings on multiple occasions, most of them while drunk, but he can never get the words out, can never push himself enough to admit the truth. So he stays quiet, hides his crush behind playful teasing and pranks that you know are a part of his personality. Which makes it all the more suspicious to see him so quiet and unlike himself now.

“Lex, come on,” you snap Lex out of his thoughts, grabbing a pillow from the bed and tossing it at him. He can’t help but smile as you offer him a teasing grin, and he tosses the pillow back at you as you say, “What’s up?”

You get up, walking over to him as you plop down on the bed beside him. Lex tries to ignore how close you’re sitting to him, how your leg brushes up against his ever so slightly, and Lex shrugs, “Dunno, I just figured you’d rather be quarantined with Billy or something.”

You jerk back in surprise. “Billy? Why Billy?”

Lex picks at one of the holes in his ripped jeans. It pains him to think about the incident the other night, during another drunken night on the rooftop with the rest of the Rats and your other friends. One second, Lex was giving you a piggyback ride as the two of you paraded around the roof with loud laughter and wide smiles. Lex had set you down, distracted by a conversation with Petra, and just as he felt ready to tell you how he felt, ready to confess his emotions, he turned around to see you plant a kiss on Billy’s lips. He tried to act nonchalant about it, tried to ignore it, but the scene plays over and over again in his head, a picture he’s unable to erase no matter how hard he tries.

“Well, you kissed him the other night.” Lex reluctantly points out. “You two dating then, eh?”

“Wha…?” confusion washes over your expression, before your eyes widen in realisation. Slapping your hand against your forehead, you stammer an explanation, “Oh God, no, we’re not dating. Jesus, Lex, I was drunk out of my mind, and I was only doing it to help Billy out. We were trying to make Petra jealous. Or did you forget about his ridiculously huge crush on her?”

Lex wrinkles his nose. Out of all the explanations possible, this was surely the one he hadn’t even considered. Waving his hand, Lex blurts, “Hang on a minute, so the kiss meant nothing?”

“Duh. Come on, you know Billy is only my friend, nothing more.” you give Lex a playful shove, and Lex lets out a relieved laugh. Narrowing your eyes at him, you ask, “Why do you care, anyway?”

Lex’s laughter quickly dies down, and he gulps as he nervously looks up to meet your questioning gaze. After several moments of thick silence, he admits, “Well, I mean… it might be because… I have feelings for you.”

Lex sucks in a sharp breath, as if suddenly wishing he could snatch his words back and shove them back into his mouth. He studies your expression, unsure of how to interpret the multitude of emotions that flash through your face, before you blurt, “Same.”

Lex blinks at you, bewildered. “What?”

“I have feelings for you, too.” you confess, and Lex’s eyes widen as you nervously run your hands through your hair. “But I was scared I would fuck things up, and—”

Before you can continue, Lex interrupts you with a kiss, kissing you so enthusiastically you practically fall back against the bed. He pulls away, the both of you breathless as you stare at him in shock, before a wide grin spreads across your face. Not wasting any more time, you pull him towards you as you kiss him again, the both of you pulling your bodies closer to one another as Lex runs his hands through your hair. As you feel him grinning against your lips, the both of you can’t help but have the same thought: that perhaps this lockdown isn’t going to be as bad as you thought.

tag list: @mockingjaygirl1221 / @cnco-babes / @asix122747483 / @lotsoffandomimagines / @uhohscarlett / @bored-green / @ietss

#reader x lex miller #lex miller x reader #deadly class #deadly class imagine #deadly class one shot #lex miller #lex miller imagine #imagine #imagines #reader insert #one shot #oneshot

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qualidude · 4 years

Note

Could you post an excerpt of your writing pretty please?

I’m going to do this under the cut so I’m not just filling up everyone’s dash, but thanks for asking! It’s cool y’all are interested. It took me a while to decide what part would be good to share. I thought about trying to pull an excerpt from each of the three POVs, but I think that would get too long to share in a text post on Tumblr. This is part of the scene where the most characters are present at once. It’s told from Avery’s perspective. She’s basically the dyke of my dreams but also....not. I wrote a little more about her in response to this ask Co-author is @arabdyke�� ! Also, if you’re wondering what the hell I’m talking about, follow the link above!

One thing I will say about this book is that we aren’t going for anything fancy, more going for attachment to the characters and readability (since it’s so fuckin long lol). It all takes place in first perspective, so we are just trying to achieve something that feels natural. Let me know what y’all think!

“I’m gonna go smoke,” I say when there’s finally a lull in the conversation. “I’ll come,” Ian offers, which surprises me. I won’t turn down the company though. Amanda heads off to some other part of the house while all three of us make our way outside. I take a cigarette out, lighting it. I try to exhale away from Ian, but the smoke keeps blowing in his face. “Sorry,” I crack a smile. He just smiles back wearily. “Do you think Everest likes that Amanda girl?” I ask. He sighs and shrugs, looking pathetic about it. “Probably. I don’t know. I mean, it’s fine if he does.” “Is it?” He slumps again. “I mean, yeah, it is.” “Why isn’t it fine?” I ask, ignoring what he just said. Ian looks around hesitantly like he’s making sure we’re far away from all other ears. He seems deeply uncomfortable. I seriously feel bad for this guy. He doesn’t know what I know, but even if I didn’t, I’d never be shitty about it. He probably even knows that, but it might not make it easier.

“It’s just hard to watch Everest date anyone now...after Gwen was so awful.” “Mm,” I muse. “Well, Amanda seems nice.” Rudolf’s staring at Ian intensely like he’s trying to will him into just spitting it out already. “I guess,” Ian agrees slowly. “Nice enough.” Rudolf kind of rolls his eyes, but doesn’t say anything. Ian just crosses his arms, staring off at nothing in particular. “There are other reasons too,” he mumbles, still not making eye contact. “Like...I don’t know. I like him.” Jesus. Finally. “Aw, that’s sweet,” I tease, not wanting to act too shocked or knowing. “You guys have known each other forever. How long have you been into him?” “A long time. Too long, probably. It’s stupid, right?” “It’s not stupid,” Rudolf cuts in before I can come up with a response. “You can’t help the way you feel.” Ian just shrugs. “Rudolf’s right,” I say. “It’s not stupid.” “It’s pretty hard not to feel that way,” Ian chuckles bitterly.

“Trust me, I get it…” I continue. “I was in love with my best friend too once upon a time, but it’s not the end of the world. He could feel the same way even. You have no idea.” “Yeah,” Rudolf adds. “I mean, he did date a guy once, right? You kinda left that part out before, buddy.” “We were kids,” Ian says, getting red. “That barely counts.” “Of course it counts,” Rudolf insists. “Well, he isn’t gay,” Ian says pointedly. “He literally told me he was bi just a few days ago.” Ian gets quiet and seems confused. He looks like he’s trying to figure out how that could be possible. “He told you that?” he asks finally. Rudolf nods. “He never told me that,” Ian states. I can tell he doesn’t know what to make of this new information. Is it a good thing? Mostly he just looks dazed. “He thought you knew,” Rudolf says. “He said he thought it wasn’t a big deal.” Ian takes a deep breath. “Well, I don’t think that changes anything.”

“Dude, yeah, it does,” Rudolf keeps at it. “You have a chance. That’s something, right?” Ian doesn’t seem convinced. He just looks uncomfortable, like he doesn’t want to talk about this anymore. “Maybe,” he says simply. There’s a sense of finality in his tone like he’s putting an end to the conversation. He looks off into space again after that. I chain smoke a few cigarettes, mostly because I don’t know what else to say or do. When I’m about to reach for another, Rudolf takes it out of my hand. “We can go back inside,” he says, handing the cigarette back to me. He looks kind of shocked by what he just did like he acted without thinking. Ian sees the expression on Rudolf’s face and chuckles. “Yeah, alright, we can go back in.”I smile at Rudolf to try to ease the tension. Then I follow them inside, stashing the cigarette back in my pack. By now, it’s louder and a lot more crowded. I don’t recognize anyone, but that’s alright. Maybe it will be better if we don’t see anyone we know tonight. Ian’s surveying the room, probably looking for Everest. He gives up quickly, though. “I might go check things out in the kitchen,” I say. “Wanna tag along?” “Sure,” Rudolf nods, letting me lead the way. Ian doesn’t say anything but follows after us regardless. There are a few people hanging around the table and like Amanda mentioned, one of them’s doing trash rat tats. I greet them with a nod and then pick up some flash sheets sitting on the table, looking them over. Some of them are pretty basic, but some are cool. There’s one of a gory eyeball and another of a fat pigeon that I somehow love as much as I hate.

“Are you getting one?” Rudolf asks, glancing over the designs in my hands. “Yeah, I think so.” Ian looks along with us, but I know this really isn’t his scene. “Which one do you think you’ll get?” he asks. “Hmm, probably this one,” I say, pointing to the eyeball. “It’s so gross,” he cringes. “Yeah, I like gross shit.” “You should see her art,” Rudolf says fondly. I smile at him. “Think this suits me?” “Yeah, it’ll look good.” When the current crowd clears, the person holding the tattoo gun looks at us and asks if there’s anything sparking our interest.“This one’s pretty cool,” I say, handing them the sheet. “Sweet,” they say. “Take a seat.” So, I do. The tattooer isn’t super chatty, but that’s fine. I kind of prefer it. I decide to get the work on my arm in the small space I have left between two stick-n-pokes I got a few years back. Ian and Rudolf sit with me, but Ian just looks queasy. “You don’t have to stick around,” I assure him, but he forces a smile and asks me if it hurts. “Not really,” I say, hoping that’ll help somehow. That’s the truth. It doesn’t really hurt. You get used to it. A few minutes in, a new group of people pile into the kitchen. Amongst them, of all fucking people, is Cameron. Fucking fantastic.

Rudolf doesn’t notice right away. He’s busy staring at my arm, but after a minute, he looks up at me. I must seem uncomfortable because he raises an eyebrow and then turns around. His expression immediately slips as he makes eye contact with Cameron. Then he turns back to me, looking dead-eyed. When Cameron spots us, he wastes no time heading over. Rudolf wastes no time leaving. I wish I could follow him, but I literally can’t. “Hah, of course you’d be into this lame shit,” he says to me, ignoring Rudolf’s disappearing act. The tattooer scoffs under their breath. “Cameron, fuck off,” I say limply. “I’m not in the mood.” “Ow,” he feigns hurt. “Watch it, Avery.”

Cameron takes the seat that Rudolf was previously occupying. “Hey,” he says to Ian. “Hey,” Ian responds, looking unsure of the whole situation. “Who are you?” “Cameron Fant,” he says, holding his hand out. “You?” Ian accepts his hand slowly, giving it a firm shake. “Ian.” God. Who introduces themselves like that? Was Cameron always this annoying, or did I just not see it? “Are you one of Avery’s friends?” Cameron asks, probably prepared to make himself look perfect in the eyes of a new, handsome stranger. Ian nods, and Cameron asks where we met.

“Weight class.” “Why haven’t I seen you around before?” “This isn’t really my thing.” Cameron laughs and then touches Ian’s shoulder. “Well, yeah, this is awful,” he says. “I’ll show you something better.” Ian’s face is red again. Cameron probably loves that. He’s oozing confidence and it fucking sucks. I wish I could tell Ian right now just how awful and disgusting Cameron is, but I can't. Not without betraying Rudolf's trust. Instead, I zone out and stare down at my arm, trying not to listen. Cameron keeps flirting with Ian and it’s honestly the vilest thing I’ve ever heard. I’ve seen these moves a million times before, but now, with everything coming into the light, I can barely keep it together.“Cam, screw off, you’re not even his type,” I say before I can help myself. Cameron’s eyes snap to me and he looks pissed. Ian looks uncomfortable too, but screw them both! It’s literally just the truth. Besides, this isn’t something Ian wants to get mixed up in even for one second. He knows Cameron’s an ass, but he’s also charming as hell. I don’t want to risk Ian falling for the facade. “Oh you know fuck-all,” Cameron spits at me before turning back to Ian like I never said anything at all. Ian looks so fucking distressed and I feel bad because I know he doesn’t know how to make this stop. “So, what do you do?” Cameron asks, crossing his arms in a way that I think is supposed to make him seem laid back. “Uh, I just graduated,” Ian mumbles.“Wow, me too,” he says and he just sounds so damn sure of himself. “From where?” “U of M.” “Huh,” Cameron smiles condescendingly. “I went to the Academy of Art with Avery and Rudolf before his lame ass dropped out. I’m a sculptor.” “I heard…” Ian says, wide-eyed. “That’s...cool?” Ugh. Don’t encourage him! “It is pretty cool. Probably the best job in the world. I get to do whatever I want and make all my own hours.” Jesus Christ, he sounds so full of himself. I swear to God he’s a complete and utter fucking narcissist.

Cameron keeps talking about himself and I can’t help but notice that he sounds a little more invested than normal. I keep staring at them, trying to figure it out. Ian certainly is Cameron’s type, even if the reverse isn't true. I guess Ian looks a bit like Jackson, which is funny because Jackson looks a bit like Cameron. All these fucking white boys, man. That might be what’s keeping Cameron’s interest. He’s shallow, after all.

Just as Ian looks like he’s about to absolutely lose it, Cameron gets a text. He pulls out his phone and smirks to himself. “I’ve got something I need to take care of,” he says to Ian. “But I’ll see you around.” “Sure,” Ian responds. “Later, Avery,” Cameron says to me before leaving the kitchen.

Once he’s gone, Ian leans into me and urgently whispers, “Was he hitting on me!?”

Ugh. “Yeah,” I say with distaste. “That’s the guy Rudolf slept with, huh?” “Yep...” I say again, getting knots in my stomach. “He’s pretty crappy.” Ian gives a long nod, sitting back in his seat. “That’s what Rudolf and Everest both said.” Hopefully, that’s enough for Ian to put the idea to rest. If he rejected Rudolf’s advances before, then he’s probably not about to fall into Cameron’s trap. He’s just too nice to tell Cameron to fuck off. When my tattoo is done, the artist wraps it for me and I pull my wallet out, handing them a few bills.

“Thanks,” I say, “This is great.” That felt like forever. Usually, I enjoy the entire process, but Cameron ruined it. Now I just want to find Rudolf. I wander through the house, shoving everyone who bumps into me. I am not in the fucking mood. “Let me know if you see Rudolf,” I say to Ian. He nods, glancing around with me for a few minutes until we find Rudolf sitting on a sofa. There are a bunch of other people sitting around him, but I can tell he probably hasn’t been talking to any of them. There’s a drink in his hand and I can’t help but wonder if it’s his first or his fifth. “Hey, man,” I say. He nods, but with the way his head bobs I can tell he’s pretty fucked up. Man, this sucks. I never expected to see Cameron here. “Are you okay?” I ask.

“Fine,” he insists but his voice is high and slurry. I offer him a hand, pulling him up from the sofa and away from the crowd of folks hovering in the living room. “Cameron’s pretty full of himself, huh?” Ian says.

I think he’s trying to make Rudolf feel better, but it doesn’t work. Rudolf just scowls.

“What was he doin’? Talkin’ about how talented and popular and amazing he is?” “Pretty much,” Ian says. “Typical. Was he flirting?” Rudolf keeps wobbling against me, but at least he’s coherent. “Um...I don’t know. Maybe a bit?” Everest reappears finally, clapping a hand on Ian’s shoulder. “Hey! Sorry I got swept off! How’s it going?”

“I got a tattoo,” I say, lifting my arm. “Woah, sweet!” he exclaims. “You’ll have to show me later.” “Cameron decided to show up,” Rudolf adds, sharing a look of disdain with Everest. “Oh… ew,” Everest says slowly. “Man, that guy is so lame.” “He hung around, so I left,” Rudolf shares. “God, yeah I would’ve, too…I would’ve peaced right the fuck out.” “Yeah, plus watching him flirt with Ian would’ve made me want to puke. Glad I missed that.” Everest’s jaw slacks. He looks at Ian and then back at Rudolf.

“Are you kidding? That guy really has no shame.” Ian laughs awkwardly. “Yeah, I didn’t really know how to react…”

The tension doesn’t go away. It just keeps building. Ian and Everest don’t know how truly foul Cameron is. They think Rudolf is upset because he slept with Cameron and things went south, but that’s not even close. We stand around for a minute and Rudolf keeps drinking. Hell, we all keep drinking, except Ian who looks like he just wants to go home. “What did Cameron even say to you?” Everest mumbles, pushing a topic I really wish he’d just drop. “Mm…” Ian twists his face like he’s trying to remember. “He mostly just talked about how he’s an artist. He told me I’d like the party scene if I went places with him.” “Gross,” Everest scoffs. “That’s never happened to me before,” Ian confesses. “A guy’s never hit on me like that before.”

He seems put off, but still somehow excited. I wish he wasn’t, but I’m trying to understand. Sometimes it just feels nice to have someone acknowledge you, especially when you’ve been in the closet so long. It makes you feel less alone, even if that person is a total scumbag. “Yeah, well Cameron’s a douche,” Everest snaps. “Oh, yeah, I mean, I know that,” Ian looks taken aback. “I’m not going to keep talking to him or anything.” Yikes. I wonder what has Everest so riled up over this. Did Rudolf tell him what happened? Everyone seems uncomfortable and I’m starting to think that we should just get the hell out of here. It’s such a fucking drag that Cameron sucked the life out of our whole night like this. Too bad my best friend turned out to be an absolute nightmare of a person.

Too bad my ex-girlfriend hates me now because she can’t see how shitty he is.

Too bad I clearly have the world’s worst taste in people.

“Do you guys want to head home?” I decide to ask, hoping someone will take the bait.

“Not yet,” Everest says, his arms crossed. I look to Rudolf and he just frowns. Ugh. Jesus Christ. This is why I hate going out! This is why I hate parties. I literally never have a good time. Why do I even try anymore? I hate having to manage everyone’s feelings! “Okay,” I scuff the sole of my shoe against the floor. If I can’t get these guys to leave, maybe I can make Cameron want to. Then I could enjoy myself again.

#lgbt books #lgbt writers #queer writers #wlw #wlw writing #qpoc #qpoc artist #once again not me I’m white af but my coauthor is Lebanese 🙏🏻#book #self

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msjr0119 · 4 years

Text

The Unexpected Roommate

Part 5

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairings: Drake Walker x Riley Brooks, Leo Rhys x Olivia Nevrakis - All characters belong to Pixelberry

Song Inspiration: Perfect Strangers, Jonas Blue

Warnings ⚠️ DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18, If you choose to read you are consenting that you are over this age. NSFW, adult language, mention of shooting noise. If these trigger warnings affect you, please don’t continue to read.

Word Count: 3,900 ish

Tags:

@pedudley @kacie-0156 @loveellamae @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bascmve01 @texaskitten30 @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @axwalker @rafasgirl23415 @yukinagato2012 @cordonianroyalty @rainbowsinthestorm @desireepow-1986 @queenjilian @bebepac @drakewalkerisreal

****

“Are you going to sleep on the couch? Or are you going to stay with me?” Asking in a flirtatious yet gruff way- Riley paused for a slight second. Not giving him an answer straight away. Her hands roamed along his body, lost in thought. The final decision was based on the kiss that they had just shared.

“Staying.”

Smiling softly at him, that mischievous grin that she had previously wore had disappeared - now, this smile was sincere making her slightly blush. Drake was turned on before- how could he not be? But now she had agreed to stay with him, changed everything.

“What do you want me to do? Stay or leave?” Her voice was quiet, almost like a whisper- as her hands continued to touch places dangerously, yet teasingly.

“I want you to stay. I want that fake sex, to become a reality.” An intense feeling erupted inside of him the moment their lips touched again. Her lips were soft yet warm, tasting the fusion of alcohol surrounding her mouth- he felt more drunk than he was already. Feeling Riley crumble right in front of him- he continued savouring her lips. Finally pulling away, they both silently gazed at each other- both needing to confirm if the feelings were mutual. The hate that they both originally showed in their eyes, now soon changed- this moment right now they looked at each other not as roommates, not as enemies but instead as lovers even if it was only for the night. Leaning down to kiss her again, she moved her head towards the side- informing him that she wanted those kisses to be on her neck again. Rather than her lips.

Feeling her hand gently rub his cock, through his jeans- he groaned quietly but loud enough for her to hear. Drake abruptly moved her hand- standing up, his hand went towards his trousers. Riley quietly stepped forward and reached for his shirt- her fingers gently working at the buttons, unbuttoning them slowly before removing it. Standing in front of her half naked, bare chested - he took a deep breath, wondering if he was dreaming.

Coming out of his daze, he felt her fumbling around with the belt buckle before unzipping the fly. Drake managed to pull his jeans down, urgently stepping out of them. His cock, sprung up inside of his boxers- this movement seemed to immediately catch her eye, whilst Drake was slightly embarrassed. They both knew what was about to happen, but he had wished that he could control his manhood- making him not look that eager. Cursing himself mentally inside, Riley smiled softly at him. Tugging at his boxers, he removed them in one swift motion. Once off the head of his cock bounced up practically hitting him in the stomach. Natural instinct, led Riley’s hand downwards- feeling her small hand begin sliding up and down his shaft, he briefly closed his eyes, feeling more aroused with her touches. Opening them, he noticed that her sparkling baby blues were focused onto his face as she continued the movements. Drake removed her hand, not that he wanted to- but he needed to get her naked as well. It wasn’t a one man show. Caressing her cheek, she inhaled sharply- unzipping her dress, he assisted her out of it. Seeing the matching underwear, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold off. Feeling mesmerised her body, his brain wasn’t functioning correctly. With past partners, he just got straight into doing the deed.

“Drake? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry.” Reaching out he gently stroked her hair, before leaning in for another kiss. The kiss began softly, feeling less anxious about the situation - he unclasped her bra. With one hand around her waist, his other hand cupped one of her breasts. Beginning to caress and play with her hardened bud, she reached down stroking his erection. As they were exploring each other’s bodies the kissing became more passionate, their tongues began to fight against each other.

“Lay down on the bed, Riley.” Following his commands, his hand ran soon up her thigh- eventually parting her legs as if she was doing the splits. As he reached further up, he immediately felt the dampness surrounding her.

“You’re so wet for me already...”

“I would be if I did it to myself- you’re nothing special Drake....just like you were immediately hard just by me straddling you before.”

“Touché. I assume you don’t want me to continue then? I was going to spoil you with my mouth instead....” Before Riley could respond with a sarcastic comment, Drake lowered his mouth downwards- holding her breath, that soon changed the second his lips touched her clit. Placing light kisses along her slit, he then stroked it with his tongue- causing her whole body to tremble. As her body reacted to his actions, he was pleased that her could pleasure her, lapping up her flowing juices.

“Fuck... Drakeeee...” Ignoring her, he continued sucking and licking her moistened lips, pumping his tongue deeper as she continued screaming his name.

Feeling as if he had done enough, he lifted his head up- seeing Riley tightly holding on to the duvet, he smirked.

“Your turn. Get on your back, Drake!” She demanded, fluttering her eyes open after recovering from her climax.

“I don’t want anything.”

“That’s bullshit...” She quickly lay down between his legs and curled her fingers around him as she did previously- slowly she began to rub up and down his length before slipping her lips over the head of him. Continuing up and down his length, he grunted as he felt the tip of his cock reach the back of her throat. Placing his hand around the back of her neck, he guided her. Not that she needed assisting.

“Riley! Please stop!”

Sitting up, she daren’t make eye contact with him- not wanting to show the disappointment. Positioning herself on the edge of the bed, she wondered why the change of heart from him. Fuck, she muttered to herself- regretting letting herself become carried away. Deciding that it was for the best to leave the awkwardness as it was, she slowly stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“You asked me to stop. So I’m going to go and sleep on the couch...”

“I asked you to stop because I felt as if I was going to cum. I didn’t want to cum so early.” Feeling relieved in a way, she regretted allowing paranoia get the best of her. “You said that you was staying, so stay. Let’s finish off what we started...” Drake pleaded.

Guiding her backwards towards the bed her stomach began to flutter, as if butterflies were there. She was unsure as to why she was suddenly nervous. Mentally scolding herself, her nerves soon disappeared as his body hovered over her.

Leaning forward so that he was leaning on her- skin to skin- he grabbed her breasts and squeezed them. Lining himself up, he slowly thrust against her-letting her know that he was ready. “Can I?” Not knowing why he asked her if he could begin- the words just slipped out. “Please.” After her response, he slowly entered her- hearing a slight gasp escape her lips he waited a while before he started. Beginning with slow movements, he eventually gained the confidence to work faster with this new partner. His cock began slamming in and out of her, his balls slapping against her bare skin from this angle that they was in - as he continued fondling with her breasts and increase his speed- this was enough to bring her over the edge.

“Drake! I’m ... I’m....” Drake knew what exactly she needed to say, he could feel her muscles clench around him. Hearing her climax again, encouraged him to pick up the pace - needing to release himself. Not that he wanted to this soon, but this unexpected time with Riley- made him feel something that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Excitement, curiosity, in a slight way loved. Knowing she didn’t love him, he was hoping that rendezvous wouldn’t push them further apart.

Grunting, he pulled out his now softening cock and laid next to her on the bed. Neither spoke to each other for a while, both still breathing heavily. Drake’s hand covered hers, turning to face her- he smiled at his roommate. Not with a cocky smirk, that he usually provided but instead a genuine smile. A happy smile.

“Maybe I should have trusted you- when you informed me that you was big. Jesus Drake, I cant move.”

“Not to brag or anything. But I wouldn’t lie about that. You don’t have to move, you can sleep here. If it’s too awkward, I’ll sleep on the couch...”

“I don’t think it could get any more awkward. We just fucked.”

“True. Night, Riley.”

“Night, Drake.” Both of them turned on to their sides facing away from each other. Neither could fall asleep immediately, both of them laid there thinking about what had happened.

About an hour later, Drake was still awake- as was Riley, unknowingly to him. Rolling over, he placed his arm around her- snuggling closer to her.

Cause you're here with me now, I don't want you to go, he sung inside in his mind.

****

The morning after, Riley stirred. Fluttering her eyes open, she remembered everything- however, wondered where Drake was. She felt his arm go around her, so surely it didn’t feel that awkward that he slept on the couch.

Quickly getting dressed, she ambled towards the kitchen but paused as she overheard the men talking.

“So you and Riley... you can thank me. I accept appreciation in the form of beer or very expensive clothing. Just call me Matchmaker, Leo.”

“Leo, I’m not thanking you.”

“What was it like? I always assumed you’d just keep going back to Kiara when you needed sex.” Kiara? Who the fuck is Kiara? Overhearing this, Riley soon became paranoid- overthinking what she actually meant to Drake. Was last night just a ‘fuck’ to him?

“I haven’t slept with Kiara in months. With Riley it was different. But it was only a one time thing.” Saying this, he believed that Leo would stop the conversation immediately. Instead he attempted to inform Drake to shut up.

“We’re just roommates. She doesn’t like me more than that. If that. It was only sex....”

“Good morning, Riley!” Leo blurted out, wearing a sheepish grin.

“Good morning, Leo.” Ignoring Drake, she made herself a coffee. Feeling that his words explained exactly what last night was.

She fucking heard you Drake, you absolute dipshit. Leo mouthed you his friend shaking his head.

“Where’s Liv?” Focusing her attention towards Leo, she didn’t want to make eye contact with Drake. Assuming whoever this Kiara was, she would be second best.

“She left about an hour ago. Getting a manicure before meeting you.” Rolling his eyes back, he was unsure as to why his fiancée needed a manicure to go shopping. He didn’t understand how a woman’s mind worked, but just agreed anything Olivia did to keep him in her good books.

“Okay... I’ll go and get ready in my room then.”

“Do you want some breakfast?” Drake asked nervously, knowing he was in the doghouse. Walking away, she responded with her back facing him.

“No, I prefer to jump straight into my dessert.”

Sighing, he placed the food on the table- walking after her.

“Have I done something wrong?” Drake questioned, hoping that he hadn’t fucked up. Hearing Leo snort in the background, he turned his head towards his friend scowling. Leo responded by smirking and shrugging his shoulders.

“No. Why?”

“You overheard what I said... stop lying. That’s why you ignored me. It’s not like that at all, I said that....”

“I heard it all. Yes. Don’t worry about it. We’re not in a relationship. It was just sex remember? Sounds like you have a ‘fuck buddy’ already- don’t include me in your games or sexual needs anymore.”

“I’d rather you be my ‘fuck buddy’.” Fuck. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. Taking a deep breath, he regretted saying that instantly. He was kind of expecting a right hook. “What happened between us was amazing, Riley.”

“Yeah it was.” Not sounding too confident she didn’t want to make out that she was jealous over him being involved with someone else. Whether it was in the past, or in the present. Reaching out for her hand, he held it tightly not knowing how she would react to the gesture.

“So what do you say? Make a little arrangement? If you want ‘us’, we can start as casual sex- then see where it goes?”

“You’re fucking insane, Drake. Go back to hating me.”

“I’d say I’m an attractive guy, you’re a gorgeous girl when you’re not an arsehole.”

“You’re so vein. I do have a rule, if we do this though...No kissing on the lips.”

“But we did that last night. Why?”

“That was this morning actually. Because if we aren’t in a relationship, what’s the point in being intimate?” Drake’s heart sunk, not realising why. Now he had kissed her, knowing what it felt like- he wanted to continue that.

“Okay, fine. I’ll see you later then?” I’ll kiss those lips, don’t you worry Riley.

“Yup. Bye Leo.” Leo waved from a distance, not really wanting to get involved in the love life.

“Ri?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry for being a jerk... I’m starting to fall...” Fall for you. “fall behind with the housework. I’m only going into work for a few hours. I’ll clean up when I’m back.”

“Wait for me to come back. I’ll help you. 50/50 remember. My nails are fucked anyway.” Providing a little laugh, she headed towards her room- not fully aware of what she had just agreed to. Not knowing if that was actually what she wanted. Deep down, she wanted more after their night together. She wondered if he did too. Or if indeed he was just happy with the friends with benefits arrangement.

Drake sat down besides Leo, his head fell into his hands. This girl had got into his mind, he suggested the ‘friends with benefits’ hoping that she would decline the offer. Hoping that they could begin a relationship instead. He just didn’t have the confidence to express what his heart truly wanted - she made him weak at the knees. Although he would never confess that. Not yet anyway. He was unsure as to if he would ever be able to admit to his true feelings.

“Now I may not be a translator, but that was the biggest bullshit ever stated, Drake” Leo knew Drake and he knew for a fact what his friend meant when he stuttered after the word ‘falling’.

****

Riley arrived at Macy’s bang on eleven am. Usually she would arrive early, punctuality was important to her. On her way there, her mind was in a daze- flashbacks of her rendezvous with Drake wouldn’t disappear.

Noticing her friend waiting outside, she knew Olivia was about to berate her.

“I thought that you’d ditched me for Walker’s cock.” Feeling the blush appear on her face, she didn’t want this conversation to elaborate.

“Not now, Liv.”

“Seriously, Riley. Why him?”

“He’s a good fuck, I suppose?” Olivia shuddered at the thought. Not wanting to think about her arch-enemy any longer, she changed the subject. “You know, Liam is coming back for the wedding.”

“Well I hope so, he’s the grooms brother.” She responded sarcastically- just wishing that they could go inside, choose a dress and leave.

“Obviously. But he’s single.” Nudging her friend, she would do anything to see her happy- anything apart from push her towards Drake.

”Olivia. Stop right there. I’m not interested in Liam. I never was.”

****

After hours of searching through the dresses, Olivia finally chose the perfect dress for her maid of honour. Riley was grateful that the bride to be hadn’t made her look like a sugar plum fairy. Making her way back ‘home’ she wondered if the atmosphere would be awkward. In the back of her mind, she still wasn’t sure what was going on between herself and Drake. Opening the door, she witnessed him shoot up from the sofa in a flash.

“Hey, did you find a dress?”

“Yes. It was the first one we actually looked at. Hours of my life wasted. How was your suit fitting?” Bending over to take her slightly small high heeled boots off, Drake paused before responding to her question. His eyes were focused on her ass. “Did you hear me, Drake?” Shaking his head, he didn’t want her to notice that he was gawking at her like a drooling puppy.

“Yeah, sorry. Suits are overrated. A suit is just a suit right? I’ve got a hundred in the wardrobe that I don’t wear.”

“True. You’ve tidied up. I told you to wait until I was back.”

“I had nothing better to do. I’ve also ordered some food.”

“Where’s the real Drake? You’re turning into a softie, I’m going to start calling you ‘marshmallow’ from now on.”

“Haha. Funny fucker. Where’s the real Riley? You haven’t done a prank yet.” That’s what you think. I always think ahead.

“Why don’t you pour yourself a whiskey. I’ll get changed, put this away and come and join you.” Smirking as she walked away, she didn’t get too far before hearing Drake spit out the drink.

“RILEY!” Chasing after her, she slammed the door in his face- accidentally of course. “Open the door!”

“Or what? I’ll come out in a minute I promise.” Drake waited impatiently for her to come out, eventually she opened the door wearing the biggest grin. “Don’t kill me. Please. Just stand on the rug.” Why the fucking rug? Fluttering her eyelashes at him- he was hypnotised and followed orders.

“Holy shit! Riley get down!” Crouching down, panic began to run through his veins- not only for his own safety but for Riley’s. The gunshot noises scared the life out of him, wondering who was in the apartment with them. How did they get in? What did they want?

Looking at his concerned face, she walked over towards him pulling the rug back- showing the reasoning behind the ‘gunshot shots’. Bubble wrap. Unable to prevent herself from laughing, every time she contained herself- his face would make her burst out into a fit of hysterical laughter. “I’m sorry, Drake... I can’t.... I can’t breathe.... your face....”

“Are you trying to fucking kill me? First you drug me, then try to poison me with fake whiskey- What was it? Then you try and give me a fucking heart attack.”

“Technically Olivia drugged you. It’s tea with vinegar in it- couldn’t you smell it? It was worth seeing your face...”

“How would you pay the bills if I died? Ever thought about that?”

“Simple. I’d move out. Leave your body to rot. Plead innocent. By the way, the real whiskey is in the cupboard- behind the cereal.”

“If you’re fucking with me again... I’ll kill ya.” Hesitating trying it, he sniffed it first. “Here, try it first.” Riley did as he asked, swallowed it down in one.

“See it’s whiskey.” Drake narrowed his eyes still unsure if he could trust her fully. They remained silent for a short amount of time, until Drake decided to break the silence with an obscure question. Not the usual type of conversations.

“What are you wearing under that by the way?”

“What time is the food coming?”

“In about an hour because I wasn’t sure what time you was coming back. Why are you ignoring my question?”

“I’m not ignoring it. If you want to know, why don’t you just undo my robe.” Drake held his breath as he closed the distance between them. He noticed her breathing rapidly increase as he touched her. Untying it, his hands went to her shoulders- forcing the robe off of her.

“You’re wearing what I bought you.”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it. You look sexy... so fucking gorgeous.”

“Are you fishing for a blowjob with your charm?”

“No. But if you want to do that I’m sure he’d enjoy it. Or I could pleasure you instead?” Leaning forward, in his mind he wanted to fuck off her stupid suggestion about ‘no kissing’. Their lips almost touched, as there was a knock at the door. Drake let out a frustrated sigh, letting go of her waist he answered the door, as she quickly put the robe back on. Their takeout had arrived prematurely, handing the delivery man the money- Drake forcefully placed the food on the island. “Can you not tell the time properly? I thought you said that it was arriving in about an hour. I think you need to go back to school Drake.” Winking at him, she was about to position herself on the stool- her belly had began to rumble, the aroma of freshly cooked food was lingering around them. Unexpectedly Drake picked her up and flung her over his shoulder- heading towards his room. “Drake! What the fuck? The food!”

“Chinese is always better warmed up the day after anyway!” Placing her back on the ground he held her tight- not wanting her to runaway. Not wanting for her to ditch him for some over fried, fatty food. He knew what he wanted. Ever since he knew what she was wearing, everything slipped from his mind. Opening the door, he dragged her in- not forcefully. Pinning her against the wall, his hands urgently ran through her hair before cupping her cheeks. Crashing his lips on to hers, mentally he was smirking as she melted away in the kiss.

“I said no kissing....”

“I get it. You’re afraid you won’t be able to keep your hands off me. If we kiss. But we’ve already crossed that line...you shouldn’t tease me...”

“How am I teasing you?”

“Wearing what you are wearing...” biting her lip, she untied the robe- slowly yet seductively.

“Oh, you mean this?”

“Yes. That. I want you, Riley. So desperately...”

“What are you waiting for then? We had an arrangement didn’t we?” Drake held her head in his hands, pulling her towards him into a fiery and passionate kiss. Breaking apart, their breathing was in unison- rapid. Caressing her cheek with his thumb, she ran her fingers down his chest before pulling his as close as she could towards her. Not leaving any gaps between the two of them, she could feel his heart beat against her chest. Knowing that he could feel hers too, they stayed still gazing into each other’s eyes. “That arrangement, I am going to stick to it. Get on the bed, roomie.”

****

Leo and Olivia had just shared an intimate shower together. Relaxing on the couch they were both excited about their upcoming wedding. Discussing last minute preparations, Leo couldn’t wait for it to be over and done with- he hated seeing Olivia act all bridezilla towards him. Hearing the door knock, they both placed a wager- assuming it would be either Drake or Riley crying and moaning about each other. Making the other person seem the worse one. The two of them knew that Riley and Drake was alike- especially with their stubbornness. Leo sighed as he walked over to open the door, with a towel hanging dangerously loose on his hips.

“Before you start, I don’t want to hear it... I’m not getting blamed for this....Liam?”

“Hey, Bro. I assume you wasn’t expecting me with that introduction. Who have you pissed off this time?”

“I assumed you was somebody else. Sorry, I’ve not pissed anyone off. Don’t worry. What are you doing here? You’re not due back until the wedding.”

“I’ve used some holiday days.” Olivia heard the familiar voice, confused as to why he was here showering them with gifts. What has he done now? She thought to herself.

“Aw Liam, I didn’t realise that you loved me that much. These flowers are beautiful.”

“They aren’t for you. But I’ll get my favourite sister in law some soon. I promise.” Olivia was unsure whether or not to be offended that the flowers wasn’t for her. After all the Rhys’s were charmers with all the women.

“Who are they for then?” Seeing Liam look at them with sorrow in his eyes, the penny finally dropped.

“That person, doesn’t live in the city anymore.” She send confidently, attempting to persuade herself that she was telling the truth.

“I know she does Olivia. Stop lying to me. I need to see her, I need to talk to her. Where’s Riley?”

#trr #trr fanfic #trr au the unexpected roommate #drake x riley #drake walker #riley brooks #leo x olivia #leo rhys #olivia nevrakis #liam rhys #tw swearing #tw sex mention #tw gun shot mention #long post

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lynneshobbydomain · 4 years

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Memories To Last (OwaMiki Week 2020 Day 4)

((Damn I’m late. I will possibly come back to this and polish this to a better look. Also please, please, please be wary of the tags. The prompt was angst and I came prepared with angst. Please if anything is triggering for you don’t touch it! This will include Major Character Death as well. Thank you so much for OwaMiki Week 2020 for hosting this event!))

Prompt: Angst/Soulmate-Au

Rating: T (16+)

Summary: The said that high school romances don’t last long, and they were lucky that they lasted as long as they did. MIkan thought about how she met Mondo and how they said their inevitable goodbyes.

You can read under the cut or here at my AO3

They said that high school romances don’t last long, and that they were lucky to have lasted for as long as they did. Mikan supposed that was an accurate assumption, as most high school romances did die after graduation. After the initial rebelling against fate and the words that were etched on everyone’s skin, they would unintentionally find their soulmate as they went out into the world. The statistics of finding one’s soulmate in a high school setting was astronomically low.

She had met hers in the courtyard during lunch. Mahiru, Ibuki, and Hiyori were waiting for her underneath a shaded tree. Mikan had been trying to restock the nurse’s office, as it was her Ultimate and she was shadowing the former Ultimate School Nurse to practice her talent. Today the Nurse was absent, and Mikan had been allowed to miss school until she came back in order to practice and take care of the students. Mikan didn’t doubt that it was an early practical test since taking care of real patients would determine more than a dummy would.

She was going to have to eat lunch quickly and go back to her job so that if someone got sick or hurt, they would be able to find her. She rushed out of the school and without looking where she was going, slammed herself into a hard wall that made her fall to the ground, hitting her rump and lower back.

“Shit are ya okay?” She opened her watering eyes to see a hand being held out to her, and a tough-looking gangster standing above her. Her eyes widened in fear before she scrambled up, ignoring the burning on her right forearm as she got onto her feet. She missed the scarred words turning red in acknowledgement until much later that day.

“I-I’m o-okay. I’m so so-sorry!” Mikan apologized profusely. “P-please let me g-go.” Before he could say anything, she grabbed her things and ran away from him.

It would take days before she would speak to him again. She knew that he was her soulmate, and she felt so ashamed of herself for just running. Of course she would get someone terrifying as a soulmate. Of course it was going to be someone that would probably hurt her. She knew that soulmates were supposed to be good for each other, and that they were supposed to bring out the best in each other, but...she wasn’t sure about this. Gang members never were kind and they were always in dangerous situations. Mikan didn’t want any trouble. She just wanted him to stay as far away from her as possible.

Mikan now would roll her eyes at the teenager that she was. It took Mondo coming into the nurse’s office with a good gash on his head, bleeding and bruised. As if he had just come out from a scrap. She nearly toppled over her supplies in shock when she saw him, bent over against the frame of the door. Both of each other looked, and the scary-looking bike leader was about to leave.

“Wait! Where are you going?” Mikan called out after him, getting to his side and grabbing his arm. “You need to rest and that cut looks dangerous. You need to sit down.”

“Ya don’ want anythin’ to do with me.” Mondo said gruffly. “I can handle it myself.”

“Now’s really not the time to put on a tough guy act.” Mikan panicked. Head injuries were no laughing matter. The slightest bump could be fatal if it was hit in the right place. She dragged him over towards a bed and made him sit down. “I’m going to ask you some questions now and I need to be honest with me and tell me what you think the answer is.”

“What is this a fuckin’ math test?” Mondo asked, his voice raising a little. Mikan flinched, but she had a feeling that he was worried about his own memory. What kind of signs he’d show.

“Please?!” Mikan wasn’t above begging. “Please. I’ll do anything if you’ll just answer.” Wrong choice of words, but...it got him to stop and clamp his mouth shut. “What’s your name?”

“Mondo Oowada. Nice to fuckin’ meet you I guess.”

“Oowada-san.” Mikan said slowly, “I’m Mikan Tsumiki. It is nice to meet you too. Do you remember what day it is?”

“It’s a monday ain’t it?” Another raised pitch, he didn’t like being unsure of himself.

“Good, but I was looking for a date.” Mikan prompted as she started to wash the wound. It was a shallow cut, nothing that would need stitches, but it liked to bleed. “Can you tell me that?”

“....Not really.”

“Okay. We can work with that. What’s the capital of Japan?”

“Tokyo. Obviously.”

“Where do you go to school?”

“Hope’s Peak Academy. Am I in the clear, nurse?” Mondo asked gruffly.

“You’re in the clear.” Mikan assured him as she finished putting the bandage on his head. She was grateful for no lasting damage, but she really hoped this wasn’t going to be a common occurrence. She fidgeted with her hands and she felt her throat tighten. She couldn’t let him leave without knowing how serious this was. “I-if you start feeling bad you need to come back here or go to the hospital. Headaches are probably going to be common, but if you start to get a migraine that doesn’t go away after a few hours, or if your stomach starts to get upset, then you want to consider emergency action. You need to have someone watch for you as you recover.”

“That’s it?” Mondo grinned. “Hell yeah. I was expectin’ somethin’ far worse than that! Thanks, doll.”

“Do-doll?!” Mikan stared at him before she remembered that a) this was her soulmate and b) she was going to have to get used to whatever pet name he gave her. “O-oh. Yo-you’re not upset wi-with me then?”

“Upset with you?” Mondo stared at her for a long moment before he looked away. “Look, I probably scared you when I asked if you were okay. I didn’t mean for my voice to get that loud and I was a bit nervous. Sorry.”

“N-no. I do-don’t blame you fo-for getting upset.” Mikan looked away, fidgeting. “Yo-you probably wo-would be an-angry that your soul-soulmate was a clutz li-like me. I do-don’t blame you for ha-hating me.”

“What the fuck?” Mondo looked up at her and Mikan bit her lower lip nervously. “Who the fuck am I punchin’?”

“Huh?!” Mikan immediately got worried. “No, you are not punching anyone! You ju-just got out of a fi-fight! You nee-need to rest more than, more than anything right now!”

“No one should be sayin’ shit like that to you. Jesus Christ if I find out you’re-”

Mikan wasn’t sure if she should be touched with the fact that he was willing to fight someone on her behalf despite just meeting her and knowing tha she was his soulmate, or be worried that it was his first response. “I-it’s no big deal.” She assured. “Ri-right now you sho-shouldn’t be punching an-anyone. If you are I’m, uh, I’m going to b-be really m-mad at you.”

They both kept a look at each other and Mikan wanted to hide underneath a table or apologize. He was injured though, and she needed to stay on somewhat of a firm foot. He couldn’t jeopardize his health like that. Finally he looked away and got himself up. “I’ll keep an eye out on my injuries.” He said after a moment. “Thanks for lookin’ out for me Mikan.”

“An-anytime Oowada-san.”

“Mondo. Call me Mondo.”

It was supposed to be the end of that, but they continued to run into each other after that. Mikan was too worried about him to let him go, and he kept getting hurt every other week. Nagito would call it the best luck ever to have hit her and most of her classmates would agree. Of course, with Nagito’s superstition about his luck, whatever good happens, bad wasn’t too far behind.

Of course all relationships had their ups and their downs, Mikan wouldn’t say that Mondo’s and hers was anything that was sweet and perfect. They fought. He was stubborn, she was a worry-wart, they both argued on the occasion about her getting hurt and her friends and in turn they’d argue about him and his bike riding and the fights that he would get himself into. He gave her more than enough heart attacks throughout high school, and the one time she wound up in the hospital herself made him snap.

“You’re comin’ home with me.” He said when he sat down next to her. The machines next to her beeped insistently. She had small gifts on her bedside table. If anyone wasn’t familiar with Mondo, they would’ve thought that he was trying to intimidate her with how close his chair was to her bed and how he sat, ready to get up on his feet and knock someone’s light’s out. His hands were already balled into fists, hanging on his lap. His expression is too serious to take lightly.

Mikan didn’t have the heart or the energy to argue with him this time. She was lucky to have been able to crawl to the telephone and ask for the ambulance. She was used to being tortured and made fun of. She was used to having her hair pulled and yanked around. She was used to getting slammed into walls and being looked at. Being used in more ways than one. She deserved every little bit of it, she believed. Yet this time...this time she knew that they crossed the line. She broke her arm down the stairs and she couldn’t walk. She knew she tore something inside of her and she was right.

As much as they hated her now, they were under arrest and the kit was done and the evidence was gathered. Mondo must’ve heard that she was stuck here through the grapevine. She didn’t doubt that Mahiru or Peko might’ve had an idea of what was going on. Peko considered that she was part of the yakuza and listened in on police scanners. Mahiru because if she was absent for anything, it was because she wasn’t in great shape.

“O-okay.” Mikan murmured. “I’m so-sorry.”

“Not this time, nurse.” Mondo assured. “Nothin’ to be sorry. We’ll get it right.”

She still had no idea what that meant, but she could understand the implication. Mikan gathered what little she had and she did move in with the Ooada family and she had to learn fast to get used to loud voices. Every single one of them were loud. Yelling was a common household theme.

They did their best to soften around her and they did their best to make sure that they weren’t overly obnoxious, but there were times where she heard Mondo’s mother knock a couple pans out of the way and made her flinch, and where she heard Mondo and his mother talk as though they were arguing when in reality it was just another conversation.

Mikan brought her hands together and rubbed them against her forehead, trying to keep her heart from breaking further at the memories that were playing through her mind. Their first date. Their first kiss. The first time he called her “babe”. The moment he proposed to her and married her.

“What do ya think of kids?”

Mikan was trying to help wash dishes and hadn’t expected the question. The plate slipped out of her fingers dropped back into the soapy water, splashing at her mercilessly. Mondo laughed and she let out a sharp whine giving him a look. “Yo-you did that on pu-purpose!” She was getting better at trying to bicker with him. It was how he showed he was close to people and it didn’t do her any good to apologize with a head bowed low. He inspired her to be confident, and in turn their apartment wasn’t filled with banging doors and softer expressions of affection.

“Nah. I was actually just curious. I was just thinkin’ about it and was wondering your thoughts. Not expectin’ an answer though. I’m damn happy to be where I am now. No pressure.”

“Kids.” Mikan mused as she reached for the plate and started to scrub it again. She let her mind wander as she tried to picture the family. It would have to be a big one, Mondo wasn’t the type that would go for just one. If he was then that would be a surprise. She thought about where they were in their lives. Mikan worked extremely long hours and she barely got to be home. Mondo worked as a carpenter, but still rode his bike on occasion with his gang since they got married. Between the two of them they made enough to be comfortable, and it’d stay like that if they had one or two. “I…” She trailed off. “Maybe.” She said in answer.

“Again there’s really no fuckin’ pressure.” Mondo looked at her. “I’m happy as we are.”

“Y-yes, but…” Mikan trailed off. “I do wan-want to be a mot-mother. I ju-just don’t kno-know how good of one I-I’d be. W-we could d-do it if w-we wanted to.”

“I get it.” Mondo said quietly as he took the plate from her and started drying it. Mikan panicked a little inwardly, trying to think of where she might’ve gone wrong in her statement. “I don’t know how good of a father I’d be. My dad ditched my mom after I was born. Mom had to raise me and Daiya by her lonesome.”

“I-I don’t thi-think you’d leave.” Mikan assured. “I-if any-anything yo-you’d stick so close t-to me we wo-would be att-attached to the hip.”

“Hell yea.” Mondo flashed her a grin. “So you in or you out?”

No pressure. Mikan smiled thoughtfully. “In.” She said, mustering all the confidence in the world to say it.

Of course that was the start of the problem wasn’t it? It was the start where everything that went wrong could go wrong. Mikan nor Mondo ever really told anyone about it. It had happened so quickly, and they were internally grateful that they both had thought to wait on announcing anything when it happened.

Mondo and Mikan threw themselves into work, but they also threw themselves together when they were able to meet again from long work hours, trying to recover from the loss. They talked here and there about trying again, but the moment always felt wrong to them both. As if they were trying to replace something that couldn’t ever be replaced.

Now this and Mikan was devastated. She looked up from tracing the words on her arms as she looked at Mondo’s lying form in the hospital bed. It had been a wreck. She was on call for thirty six hours, and she had just barely started her shift when she was told to get off the clock and get into the waiting room. There was no way she could help, it was unethical practice and she was too emotionally attached to the patient. All she could do was pray and pray and pray…

But praying didn’t work here and his mother was sitting on the other side of him. Brain dead, they said. He was on life support, but there was no way that was going to continue. There was no way it was going to last. Mikan twisted her rings, trying to come up with something to say but she couldn’t.

How did she miss her arm turning black?

“Hey babe, me the boys are going to go on one last ride around the town.”

Mikan looked up from reading and she grinned at him. It had been a hot minute since he thought about going with his friends. “B-be safe.” She told him sincerely.

“Always.” He walked behind her and gave her an upside down kiss, cupping her cheek and stroking her hair, just the way she liked before he moved off of her. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Mikan beamed.

Of course it wasn’t every day the last words spoken were going to be loving ones. She saw blackened words of hate and of ambiguity. She saw how her patient’s lovers and friends all felt remorse for the things that they said, things that they wish they could say. She was grateful that Mondo didn’t live like that.

He lived with saying everything that he needed to say. There wasn’t a person in their friend group that could have remorse. More conversations? Of course, that would be the most common regret. More hangouts? More invites? More being around each other? Mikan knew those kinds of regrets wouldn’t sit well with the biker.

“I-is it okay if…” Mikan let out a shuddering breath, trying to hold herself together even though she wanted to burst into tears. Later. She could fall apart later. “If I...called his friends? L...let t-them-”

“Of course.” Her mother in law said quietly. It was the first time and the only time Mikan ever heard her talk so soft. As though she was afraid that she was going to wake Mondo up. Mikan wanted to assure her that Mondo could sleep through anything, but...that was the point now. She stumbled upwards and went into the hallway.

She didn’t go to the phone at first, she went straight to the bathroom and turned on the faucet as loud as she could get it. She burst into tears and collapsed onto her knees. She as all alone. She was going to be all alone. She wasn’t going to go to the apartment and see him. She wasn’t going to hear him yell for her across the apartment. They weren’t going to bicker over little things like dinner plans and dates. They weren’t going to cuddle on the couch and watch something stupid on the television. They weren’t going to….

She cried until her heart couldn’t take it and her stomach hurt. She cried until her body ached and she just wanted to go home and wrap herself in a blanket. She wanted to pretend that this was all a bad dream and that he was going to be at the apartment. This was just a nightmare and she was going to wake up.

She was going to wake up?

She stood on wobbling legs and she held herself steady on the sink. Her face was splotchy and her eyes were swollen and red. She looked like a mess and she couldn't bring herself to apologize for it. Not even to her reflection. She turned the water off, not needing it anymore to hide her sobbing and crying. She tried to find a way to pull herself together, but every time she thought she stitched herself up correctly she wanted to fall apart again.

She needed to call his friends.

Taka.

Makoto.

She needed to call them especially. She stumbled out of the bathroom and headed towards the phones. She apologized over and over again, her voice breaking. She couldn’t remember exactly what she said, or what she was told...but she knew that the message got across and…

Taka was there within an instant. She knew it took him much longer than that, but he was there within a good few minutes. Makoto wasn’t far behind. It...was hard to be there with them. Taka was unashamed in his emotions and she burst back into tears as he cried. They both hugged each other, trying desperately to comfort each other but at the same time understanding that the loss was going to be inevitable. Makoto also shed tears, and was dragged into a hug as well.

They tried to swap stories, share memories, but it was raw. It was hard. Mikan felt like it was poking at a bruise that had yet to heal, still fresh. She thought about him in the nurses office and all the times in between with wounds and a smile. He was bulletproof until he wasn’t anymore.

She went back to her apartment soon afterwards, unable to keep her eyes open and knowing she needed the strength for what would come next. The plans, the goodbyes, the event. Mondo would want all of his friends there, his ex-gang. They undoubtedly felt ashamed for what had happened, and she couldn’t...bring herself to hate them. It was easier to forgive.

She sat on the bed, trying to keep herself together but knowing that she was going to fall apart. She was alone. The apartment felt empty and devoid of life. She rubbed her arm again, tracing the black words as she tried to keep her sanity. The only positive thought that went through her mind was what her friends had told her a long time ago. That high school romances didn’t last long, and that they were lucky to have lasted as long as they did.

#tw: implied child abuse #tw: implied rape #tw: implied miscarriage #tw: miscarriage #tw: major character death #danganronpa #thh #sdr2 #owamiki week 2020 #owamiki week #owamiki #mondo oowada #mikan tsumiki #kiyotaka ishimaru #makoto naegi #dangnaronpa fanfic #questionable content #reader discretion advised #mature audience advised

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wolfpawn · 5 years

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I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 84

Chapter Summary - Danielle end up discussing their fight and the relationship

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long. This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @wolfsmom1

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

Danielle sat in the car waiting outside the airport. "Why are you still here?" She looked to Siobhan who was in the back seat.

"I want to meet him."

"And why are you in the backseat?"

"Because he will want to go upfront with you. So are you guys fixed now?"

"No."

"So he's here to fix things?"

"No."

"Then why is he here?"

"To prevent me committing murder." Siobhan laughed. "He insisted because he knows when I am stressed as hell."

"I heard Richard spoke to him."

"Yeah, he answered my phone, but Tom didn't leave a message. Do you know, he actually thought Richard was some guy I met," Danielle laughed.

"Really? How did that conversation come about?"

"I guessed why he seemed odd after I said Richard's name on the phone," Danielle explained. "He honestly thought I would just drop him like that and find someone else."

"Okay, you two seriously need to talk things out…ooh, that's him, okay he is sexier in real life. Maybe you should have fixed this over the phone, how can you stay mad at that?"

"You are literally no help, Siobhan."

"I am not here to help, I am here to be as nosy as fuck at my cousin's sexy celebrity boyfriend."

"He's not my…" Danielle corrected as Tom looked at the car, recognised her and start walking towards them.

"Yeah, bullshit, that is why you are getting a pinkish tinge to your cheeks and you look like all your birthdays have come at once, pull the other one, Danielle. You are smitten."

Danielle was relieved she had no time to respond because she had nothing she could argue to that. Tom opened the back door of the car to put in his bag but paused, seeing a person inside. "Oh."

"Don't mind her, in fact, hit her with the damn thing," Danielle stated, earning a glare from Siobhan.

"Don't mind Danielle, she's just moody because I am calling her out on her bullshit, Hi, I'm Siobhan." Siobhan beamed in the backseat, extending her hand to Tom.

Tom was slightly taken back by her forwardness. "A face for the name, hello." He shook her hand.

"He's taller than I'd have thought." Siobhan half-whispered to Danielle.

"Jesus, will you ever just go back to your plaything in Dublin." Danielle shook her head as her cousin made a show of herself. "Let Tom put in his bag."

Siobhan got out and made room for Tom to put his bag in, Danielle putting her head in her hands as she watched Siobhan, utterly unashamedly stare at Tom's ass as he put the bag in the car. "So, are you two heading straight back to Nan's?" Siobhan asked as Tom opened the passenger door.

"Have you eaten?" Danielle asked. Tom shook his head, she turned to Siobhan. "We'll get something to eat."

"Murphy's?"

"Murphy's," Danielle confirmed.

"Ooh, get me an order of wings."

"If you leave now, I'll get you a double," Danielle promised.

Siobhan looked at her for a moment, "Bye." And ran off towards her own car.

"Did she not come here with you?" Tom asked worriedly as he got in.

"I just got this rental while waiting for you. It's handier now," Danielle explained. "She drove me here."

"That was nice of her." Tom smiled, looking over at her. "Hello."

"Hi." Danielle gave a small smile back. "How are you?"

"I thought I was tired, but you look like you are completely worn out, do you want me to drive?"

"No, I'm fine." Danielle dismissed. "I just need a good nights sleep."

"Is it far to this Murphy's?"

"An hour or so, the food is proper, nice and tasty, you'll love it." Danielle smiled as she drove through the parking area of the airport.

"Takeaway?"

"No, a bar and restaurant not too far from my parent's place," Danielle answered as they joined the traffic on the main road. She sensed Tom looking at her. "What?"

"A regular restaurant, a public place?"

"Tom it's in rural Galway, no offence, but most of these people wouldn't recognise Pierce Brosnan, Roger Moore and Sean Connery if they sat in front of them discussing Bond, and if they did, they would not care, I can assure you."

"But on the off chance, you are okay with being seen?" Danielle bit her lips together and her eyes began to water slightly. "Did I say…?"

"I was...um, I was talking to Siobhan the other day, and I spoke about you, and…" She shook her head. "I really fucked up," Tom said nothing, he just listened. "I thought she told Deirdre about you, and I got a little annoyed and confronted her, and she told me she only mentioned that I had someone, I don't even think she mentioned your name, much less who you are and I realised that I was so scared of people telling the media that I never noticed how much it sounded like I was ashamed of us, and then I thought of how you must have felt." She glanced at him for a moment. "I wasn't ashamed, Tom, I was so happy, I loved it, but I didn't act like it. I guess I just got scared." she began to feel her eyes water more. "Shit." she indicated in and pulled in next to a field gate.

"Are you alright?"

"I can't see." She explained. "I am such a sap."

"Elle." Tom took her hand in his. "I know you were scared, I know it is so daunting, I should not have been so horrible as to say that, and no, I was not aware of how much effort you were putting in, and believe me, if I had, I…I said stupid things, I dismissed you. I should never have argued whether or not you should have been hurt by something, only you can say whether or not you are, and no you have not changed, too much, you have a little, I mean, I think I am slowly convincing you to organise your books better, but that's a change for the better." He grinned cheekily.

Danielle laughed. "Idiot." she looked at her hand in his. Tom thought it wise to gently give Danielle her hand back. "So, we better go and get something to eat," she stated awkwardly before beginning to drive again. "It's really nice."

"Can I ask something?" Tom asked.

"Yes."

"Yes, I can ask or…?"

"Yes, ask, though I think I know what it is," She clarified.

"Are we going to try and talk about us?" Tom ventured.

"Do you want to?"

"I do, I know I seemed somewhat desperate and yes, full-on last week Elle, but that is because I do genuinely love you, I want to try and fix this."

"So you didn't find a model to run away with in Milan?" She queried, her tone very much indicating she was joking.

"No, definitely not." He looked at her to convey his honestly.

"We need to fix a few things."

"Yes, we do. We will, won't we?"

"Honesty and communication are what will get us back I think," Danielle stated. "I hope."

Tom was unsure she meant to say the last part aloud, but her obvious wish to fix things was all he needed to hear. "I had no idea she would focus so much on Taylor."

"It was the first time you mentioned her and all of that…situation, I was stupid to think she wouldn't."

"My out of character, I suppose morose demeanour is almost the correct term for it, when she was there, it was because I was trying to deal with the dynamic of us, I am not used to being the one left behind, before this, I did the travelling, it is different for me now, not negative, but an alteration, I am so used to my routine, then it changed when you came to stay, then you left for work, and I know you will have to again when you get more jobs, but it was hard coming to accept that for me, it was not what I am used to."

"Do you regret asking me to come to stay with you after Christmas?"

"No." She gave him a momentary glance. "No Elle, I would never regret that. I hope I never made you feel like I did, because honestly; I loved it, I love having you there with me, us being a team, you doing the laundry as I fled the room at the most 'convenient' of times." Danielle laughed and shook her head. "Remember how you said that your house didn't smell enough like me over Christmas?"

"Yes." She admitted.

"I feel like I was so worried that that would happen, I want things to remain as it is, us together, I suppose I sabotaged things slightly too."

"No one is perfect." Danielle shrugged. "Not even me."

Tom said nothing for a moment, thinking over everything. "The time apart has done us both some good so."

"Yes, lesson learned there." Danielle concurred. "I am sorry I went and said I was done rather than say I needed space, that was unfair. I should never have toyed with you like that."

"Why did you feel like you had to call it quits?" Tom probed, in all honesty, he was terrified of pushing her away again, but he needed to know, he needed to see if it was something she did because of fear or if there was some other issue at play.

"I don't know, I…I need to figure that out. I was willing to hurt myself to get away from something that was not hurting me, not overly. I mean that article hurt, but that was one little scrap of a thorn while looking at a gorgeous rose." Tom smiled at the comparison.

"When you were younger, what would happen when something went wrong?" Tom asked.

"What do you mean?"

"If people would be nasty to you if you felt let down, what would you do?"

"Go to my room or go running or something," Danielle answered, not seeing why it mattered too much.

"So you fled the situation?"

"Yeah, don't most people?"

"They tend to take a step back, not run for their lives, darling," Tom explained.

"According to who?" She gave him a small glance to convey her curiosity.

"My counsellor."

"You have a counsellor?"

"No, had, when I was school and trying to get over mum and dad getting divorced."

"Makes sense." She shrugged. "So I went too far. I need to fix me."

"Fix?"

"Since you mentioned me changing, I have been looking over myself."

"Elle, I said that because I was mad."

"But I feel like I have, and I don't like it." He said nothing. "I just need to find me again. I had to be the old me with Bernie recently, and I miss the confidence I had."

"I don't make you feel confident?" Tom felt deeply hurt by that.

"No, this isn't you Tom, this is me."

"That sounds like a particularly common line."

Danielle laughed slightly. "I suppose it does. But people use that to break up, I don't want that."

"So what do you want?"

"I need to take some time to fix me, Tom, I feel kind of lost."

Tom looked at her sadly. "Country mouse in the city?"

"I think so. I can adapt, I just need time."

"I understand." It was true, he did, but it hurt nonetheless.

"I think hiding was doing me no favours." Tom looked to her. "If, after the Kong tour, you want to…maybe Luke could…" She glanced sideways again and saw Tom's face. "Sorry, it was stupid…"

"You...you want to consider…"

"I want to go to the shop with you, go for dinner, lunch, coffee, walk the fucking dog and that means in London, we are going to be seen, and I need to either grab it by the balls and get over it, or say here and now that to go any further is wasting our time. We both said already we want something serious, something to last, it's not going to last if I am hiding. I don't want to be a show dog but like Ben and Sophie. I know it means being under fire but in all fairness, bar my stupid little tantrum at being called a brat, I think I can handle it."

"Are you certain?"

"I know there are going to be hard days, but yeah, I think I can." she looked at him to convey her belief in her words.

#I Hate You I Love You #chapter 84 #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fic #wolfpawn

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dvp95 · 5 years

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quiet on widow’s peak (8)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 3.3k (this chapter), 26.5k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

It's a very long night. The quiet in the space between Phil and Chris where three people should be sleeping peacefully is making Phil's nerves feel stretched thin, like he can't settle. The wheel of worst case scenarios is off its axis completely; there is just one thing, one scenario, blaring in Phil's mind like an air raid siren.

What if they don't wake up? What if they're stuck like this, eyes wide and bodies stiff like boards? Phil never got the rest of that sleep paralysis story from Dan. He has no idea how it ended.

He's not usually afraid anymore, not about things that he deals with regularly in his line of work, but this is shaking him in a way few things ever have. He feels clammy, and he laments how his palm must feel against Dan's warm forehead.

“How long has it been?” Phil asks, his voice creaking like the floorboards.

“Few hours,” says Chris. There's no mask in place, just wariness and worry and a little bit of anger. Phil hopes that isn't directed at him - technically, he didn't even invite Chris or Sophie up here. It's probably a good thing that they are here, though, because he'd be so certain that he'd reached a breaking point of sanity if he were alone up here with a catatonic PJ. Instead, the tension between them is kickstarting Phil's anxiety over and over, revving it up like an engine that won't start.

It's not long after that exchange that PJ gasps, sitting up and scrabbling at his chest like he's trying to get something off of it. Phil could almost cry with relief.

Chris crawls over and takes PJ's hands in his, resting their foreheads together and attempting a shaky smile. It's so intimate that Phil has to look away, rove his gaze over Dan's pretty face and wait for them to wake, too.

“Fuck,” PJ is saying, his voice so shaky that Phil can almost feel it. “Fuck, fuck, that was - Chris, we can't stay here.”

“Shh, we'll leave soon,” Chris promises. “You okay?”

“Obviously I'm not fucking okay, am I?”

“No need to be a dick about it,” Chris says sharply. Now Phil really doesn't want to be present for this. “What the hell happened? You looked - you looked so frozen, Peej, it was awful.”

Another loud gasp, this one softer. Phil listens to Sophie try to get lungfuls of air and Chris torn between arguing with PJ and checking that she's okay. He trails his fingers down the side of Dan's face and presses them to their pulse point, because he's paranoid like that.

Dan's hand comes up to engulf Phil's, holding tight as they squeeze their eyes shut and turn their face into the floor.

“Hey,” Phil murmurs, turning his hand over so he can properly grip Dan's hand. “Hey, you alright in there? Not gonna throw up on me or anything, are you?”

Dan laughs weakly. “No. Fuck, that... that sucked.”

“Were you awake?” Phil asks, resisting the urge to keep running his fingers through Dan's hair now that they're conscious. They roll onto their back, holding Phil's hand to their chest, and take deep breaths.

“I was,” they say, quiet.

That sounds horrible. Phil has never experienced regular sleep paralysis, let alone one instigated by ghost stories and shared with practical strangers, but he's looked into it a little bit. He glances up to see how Sophie and PJ are handling things. They're murmuring amongst themselves while Chris starts to pack up their things, a furrow between his brows.

“Let's get out of here,” says Phil. He squeezes Dan's hand and Dan squeezes back, their chest heaving like they can't get enough air. “You guys okay to move yet?”

“Yeah,” Dan breathes. They sit up slowly, still gripping Phil’s hand. Phil gets both of them to their feet with only minor stumbling, steadying Dan with his hands on their waist. Dan doesn’t even seem to notice, let alone mind. “Fuck. Jesus. My head hurts so fucking bad, Phil.”

“Shh, I know,” Phil says, trying to emulate the tone his mum uses when he’s feeling poorly. Dan inhales shakily and leans into his touch like maybe it’s helping. Phil resists the urge to push their curls off their forehead again. “Let’s go.”

They’re piling things back into PJ’s car - after using the door to get out this time, because there’s no way Chris can manage getting three people out of the window, and Phil would drop someone - when Phil realises that Dan is just sort of standing on the pavement with their arms wrapped around themself again, chewing their lip.

“Hey,” says Phil. “Do you work today?”

Dan jolts like they’re surprised to be addressed. They have to think about it for a moment, but then they shake their head.

Before Phil can be the one to offer, PJ gestures at his car. “You’re coming with us, then. We’re gonna recuperate and compare experiences and all that junk.” He pauses. “Well, first, I want a nap. Are you okay to drive, Chris?”

“I can drive,” says Phil. PJ doesn’t dignify that with a response.

“I’m fine to drive,” Chris says, his voice still grim and a bit more genuine than Phil is used to hearing. He takes the keys from PJ, squeezing his hand in the same motion.

Sophie crawls into the backseat and puts her head between her knees. Phil can’t tell if she’s feeling sick still or if she’s napping in the most uncomfortable way possible, but he decides not to bother her. He watches Chris help PJ into the front seat and doesn’t bother protesting that Dan ought to sit in the front when their legs are the longest.

“You okay, love?” Chris asks Sophie. She gives him a thumbs up without raising her head.

Phil looks around for Dan, who hasn’t moved any closer to the car. They look hesitant and so young, suddenly, on the dark Rusholme street. Dawn hasn’t even broken yet. There’s no way in hell that Phil is leaving them here.

“Get in the car, Dan,” Phil says, quiet. “We can take you home if you don’t want to come back to mine, but I need you to get in.”

After another moment where Dan’s teeth dig into their lower lip, they finally nod and come forward. Phil holds the door open and waits for them to get in, messenger bag slung into their lap and knees comically high from how tall they are in the somewhat cramped backseat. Sophie is so small, but that doesn’t stop Phil’s thigh from pressing completely against Dan’s once he settles himself in as well.

They don’t even know each other, really, so Phil expects Dan to be put off by it. Instead, they sigh and lean a bit further into Phil’s space. By the time Chris has gotten them out of the city proper, their head is resting on Phil’s shoulder and their eyes are closed.

Phil can’t imagine that his bony shoulder is very comfortable, but considering Sophie’s snoring a bit in her ball of limbs and PJ has contorted into a weird position with his mouth wide open, maybe any pillow at all will do. Chris meets Phil’s eyes in the rearview and Phil grimaces at him. This is almost as concerning as the hours of waiting, as much as Phil tries to logic away the anxiety swirling inside him. Of course they’re tired - Phil is tired, too, and the bags under Chris’ eyes are even more prominent than usual.

He can’t help the worry, though. The same worry he’s been fighting all night: what if they don’t wake up?

Careful not to jostle Dan, Phil reaches down to press the tips of his fingers against the pulse point in their wrist. Just to make himself feel a bit better about it.

The weak sun has started to rise by the time they all clamber out of PJ’s car, and Phil is grateful for that. His dad, at least, should be awake in case the house is locked tight. His friends don’t look any less tired, but Chris has a mask back in place like it never wavered. Phil tries to do that, too, just in case his anxiety is burrowing through his skin and making his parents worry. He sees Dan looking around in vague bewilderment and makes a mental note to tell them where they’ve been kidnapped to.

Luckily, the doorknob turns when Phil tries it. He holds it open and lets everyone file in. Part of him wants to look them all over for signs of wear and tear and possible possession, but most of him just wants a shield between himself and his parents’ disappointed faces.

Sure enough, his dad comes out of the kitchen as they’re all taking off their shoes, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Morning, sir,” Chris says, the charm in his voice alarmingly good considering Phil knows he’s freaking out at least a little bit.

“Good morning, Christopher,” Phil’s dad says. His expression doesn’t change when he looks over the group, but Phil knows in his gut that he’s noticing Dan’s shirt-dress and makeup. He has no idea what his dad thinks about it. He also realises, to some degree of detached surprise, that he doesn’t particularly care. “You’ve multiplied.”

Dan flushes. It seems like they don’t know what to say, but Chris is on the ball.

“Just adopted a stray,” he laughs quietly. He takes Sophie by the wrist and pulls her gently along, past Phil’s dad. “Been up all night, though, Nige, so I hope you don’t mind us copping a snooze.”

“By all means,” Phil’s dad says, this time with a small smile that Phil is pretty sure everybody else thinks is genuine.

PJ follows with a sheepish little wave and Dan hesitates, clearly unsure what they should do now. Phil smiles at them and hopes it looks more sincere than his dad’s does. “Just go upstairs,” he murmurs, gesturing at his friends’ backs. “You can sleep in my room at the end of the hall - or with Chris in the guest, if you’d like.”

He doesn’t mention that he’s pretty sure Chris won’t be in the guest room, because he has enough to explain to his father already.

“Okay,” says Dan, quiet. They bite their lip and duck their head as they pass Phil’s dad.

As soon as the entry is empty of Phil’s little gaggle of awkward adults, the silence feels so much worse. Phil bends over to untie his boots and try to settle his heart, which isn’t at all working normally.

There’s a very pointed pause where they both wait for the other to say something first, but Phil breaks first. He always does.

“Look, we’re fine,” he starts.

“You don’t seem fine, Philip,” his dad says, and oh, god, if the full name is getting pulled out this early then he’s in for quite the talking-to. “You all look like you’ve been on some kind of drug binge, stumbling ‘round like that. I knew you would be trespassing last night and you already know I wasn’t very happy with that, but I figured you’d at least come home all pleased with yourself.”

“We had a bit of a scare is all,” says Phil. He kicks off his shoes and stands up. His stomach is rolling with that familiar stress of letting the people down who love him most, but it’s backed by the steel stubbornness he inherited from them. “It’s my job, dad.”

“Is it,” his dad says, flatly.

Phil sighs and hangs his jacket up on the coat hook that his friends had smartly bypassed to get to safety. “Yes. It is. I make decent money doing this, you know that.”

“I do.” Great, now his dad has resorted to short, dry responses. It’s designed to get Phil to start rambling, trying to fill that godawful pressurizing silence, and sometimes that works. Phil has had this conversation so many times that he knows there isn’t anything new he or his dad could say to each other on the topic, though, and he’s so tired and so worried that he just shrugs.

“So, there you have it,” says Phil. “May I be excused?”

When his dad sighs, Phil has the thought that it sounds just like Martyn. Irritated but still that unbreakable affection underneath it, that solid bedrock that Phil relies on. Even when he and his family don’t see eye to eye on things, there’s never any doubt in that love.

“Get some rest, Phil,” his dad says, quiet and on that edge of disappointment that Phil tries so hard to avoid.

Phil nods and shoves his hands in his pockets so he doesn’t reach out for a hug on his way to the stairs. The last thing he needs right now is to have a complete breakdown in his dad’s arms. If anything is going to get his parents to start actively campaigning for him to leave Brighton instead of just hinting at it every few months, it would be that.

Neither of them really love what he does. They love him, and always will, but they’re nervous about the laws that Phil breaks and the supernatural things that Phil actively invites into his life. He wonders if it would be easier or more difficult if they were skeptics.

Phil is so lost in thought that he forgets someone is waiting in his room until he closes the door behind him.

“Oh,” he says, blinking.

“Sorry,” Dan says immediately. They’re sitting on the edge of Phil’s old bed with muscles so tense that it looks like they’re about to jump up and run at the first sign of trouble. “I just - I don’t know, I feel so stupid, I just didn’t want to be alone, and -”

“It’s okay,” Phil tells them, holding up his hands like he’s trying to calm a scared animal. “I don’t want to be alone, either. That was pretty fucking scary.”

The stiff position of Dan’s shoulders relax forward and they nod, picking at a loose thread in their flannel. “Yeah it, uh. Kind of was.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know,” says Dan.

“Do you want to borrow something to sleep in?”

Dan blinks up at Phil, looking more surprised than Phil thinks is warranted. He’s been an alright host, all things considered, and he isn’t about to make Dan sleep in jeans and a face full of product. “Um. Okay.”

“We’re about the same size,” Phil says, well aware that he’s rambling to fill the silence in a way he didn’t let himself be baited into downstairs. He grabs his bag from the corner he’d kicked it into earlier and grabs a couple of t-shirts, a pair of joggers, and his bright flannel pyjama pants. He always overpacks when he plans to be spending a night or two in allegedly haunted places, because he’s had the unfortunate experience of getting mud on his clothes in a leaky basement and then just having to live with that.

He tosses the options to Dan and tells them to choose as he searches for a notebook. He wants to get his experience down on paper before he sleeps and the sharp edges of it start to fade.

“Bathroom’s next door,” he thinks to say as he digs. “Mum probably has some makeup, er, wipes? In the medicine cabinet.”

“Thank you,” Dan says softly.

Their footsteps are quiet and so is the door that closes behind them. Phil finds something to scrawl in and tries to ignore the way his fingers are shaking.

He manages to get everything on paper, from the feeling of hundreds of eyes to the bathroom lights flickering to how awful it was to watch his friends stare, unseeing, into the middle distance for hours on end.

Phil doesn't completely believe in ghosts, not the way his parents or PJ do, but this… yeah, he's going to give this one to the Manchester students.

Dan still hasn't come back when Phil puts the notebook away, so he changes at lightspeed into his ugly flannel pants and spends a few minutes considering whether or not he should move his pillow to the wall side of the bed or leave it where it is. He's overthinking this, he knows he is. He shares bed space with his friends often enough that this isn't a totally foreign thing for him, but Dan is such a new friend - with unreasonably pretty eyes and unreasonably big hands - that it's making Phil's stomach flutter with nerves.

He's finally given up on the whole thinking thing and gotten into bed when the door opens and Dan tiptoes in with a bundle of clothes under their arm.

“Oh,” they say, stopping in their tracks, and Phil almost laughs at the reaction mirroring his own when he came in. “Sorry, I didn't expect you to still be up. Er, I ran into your mum. She's really nice.”

Phil groans. He should have expected his mum to be prowling around to corner his friends. “God, sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, she’s lovely,” says Dan. They look around the room, a bit awkward, before setting their clothes on top of the dresser. “Your room is nice.”

“It’s not really mine anymore,” Phil says, doing his level best to keep the bitterness out of his voice. He knows it isn’t the healthiest thing, to be so bothered by the beige carpet and white walls and neutral furnishings, but he can’t help himself. He’s never been comfortable with big changes.

He looks at Dan while Dan is distracted by a family photo on the wall. Their bare face looks so young that, if Phil didn’t already know how old they were, he’d think they were in sixth form or something. Phil’s clothes fit them well, just a bit tighter around the shoulders and stomach than they are on him. They look - cute, is the thing, and Phil stamps down on his sleep-deprived crushing nonsense.

“Coming to bed?” Phil asks, immediately making a face. The phrasing is accidental but, really, more Freudian than he cares to admit.

Dan laughs, so maybe it’s okay.

They dimple and climb over him instead of asking him to move, which has Phil holding his breath. They smell like mint and spice and Phil’s own laundry detergent and as they flop onto their back, their arm overlaps with Phil’s a bit. The bed isn’t small, and even though they’re both quite large humans, Phil is pretty sure they don’t have to be touching.

“You okay?” Dan asks, quiet. Phil doesn’t turn to look at them, because he doesn’t trust himself to have those hypnotizing brown eyes so close while they’re horizontal.

“I will be,” Phil tells the ceiling. “Are you?”

“Kinda. Is it always like that?”

Phil huffs a laugh and lets his pinky and ring fingers curl around Dan’s hand, doing his best to ignore the way his heart races at the action. “It’s never like that,” he murmurs. “That was terrifying and I’m going to have nightmares and, also, the video is going to be buckwild.”

“I forgot we were even filming one,” Dan laughs. “Is that weird?”

“This whole thing is a little weird, Dan,” says Phil. He feels his lips curving up and he lets go of Dan’s hand to take his glasses off. “Do you want the light off?”

It takes a moment, but Dan does respond with a soft, sheepish, “No. Do you mind?”

“I don’t mind,” Phil says honestly. He curls up on his side and tries to even out his breathing. His anxiety and crush and sleep deprivation are all coordinating to make his mind race, but he’s so very, very tired. He feels Dan’s warmth, just behind him, and that helps. After only a little inner turmoil, Phil is able to fall asleep.

#phanfic #phan #phanfiction #dnp fic #words words words #quiet on widow's peak

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