#using music to write

[rozmorris]

Can SEO writing ruin your prose style? And why Bill Bryson can call a book Wubberhumptimuph and you can’t

I’ve had this question from Mark…. This question has been bouncing in my brain ever since the digital revolution began and especially after working for various publishers that asked me to help them with social media and website text.  Do you think that being forced to focus on SEO when writing articles, promos, headlines etc can negatively impact your non-journalism writing? My sense is that…

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

The ring was small and silver with a single emerald embedded in the metal.

It wasn’t something flashy, it probably cost less than the smallest gem from his vault all together.

But it was perfect.

Which made it so heartbreaking to turn it down.

“Dick.. you know me so well.. I wish I could take this ring, i really do.”

Dick was still on one knee in the little apartment, but he put the small box down on the floor as he asked.

“Then what’s stopping you?”

Danny let out a bitter chuckle,

“The US government.”

[debutantinchaos]

[seaglassdinosaur]

The most brilliant and impressive thing Ryan Coogler did in my opinion was figure out how to communicate to the audience the actual tangible power of Sammie’s music, so we could truly conceptualize what it was that Remmick wanted and what he threatened to take away.

[entity56]

"Love is what makes us human" no no no no no no NO SHUT UP!!! IT'S ART!!! IT'S ALWAYS BEEN ART!! Ever since the beginning of time, humans have been creating! They got home from their hunt and harvest and made cave paintings! That shit is still around tens of thousands of years later!! The nature of humans is the pursuit of knowledge of creation! Paintings, pottery, sculpting, music, performances, it's how we express our soul, what we're thinking, our heart and mind! Literally no other animal (or AI, Gods forbid) can create art like we can! Thousands of different animals can love and have sex but humans are unique because we CREATE. Nothing will ever stop us from creating and enjoying creations. That's what makes us human. Without art we're a husk.

[dootznbootz]

Thinking about how Telemachus has heard "You are just like your father" by so many people for most of his life. How different yet refreshing it is to hear said father tell him warmly "You're so much like your mother".

[honeyblackberries]

there's always someone else

yandere(?) caleb x reader angst (w mentions of the other leads)

cw: caleb being consumed by his repressed feelings and as a result is kinda mean, hypocritical, entitled, and just generally a liar. he’s also such a hater and does slander the other guys. basically caleb's intrusive thoughts.

caleb wants to fly you to distant skies, far from anyone who knows you. he wants to hide you away, keep you in a place where not even the gentle breeze can kiss your skin.

please understand that this is all he can do to keep you safe.

for even though he always seemed big and strong in your childhood home. when it comes to the outside world, he is nothing but a mere man in the face of monsters. a mortal against demons disguised as the kindest most alluring of dreams. and yet here you are wholly unaware. ever the foolish little girl he’s always known. he has to wonder whether you’re just stupid or in denial to the threats that circle you. eagerly feeding the vultures who seek your affection for themselves.

it’s upsetting the way that coworker is so casually familiar with you. sharing books, eating together, napping in your apartment– caleb hates the way it all seems so natural for him to do, like you were once close lifetimes ago.

it’s irritating the way that artist clings to you, whining like a child when you don’t pay attention to him. caleb hates the way he touches your hand, his own lingering on your ring finger like he wishes something were there.

it’s concerning the way that criminal gifts you the most expensive of things, all paid for with blood money. caleb wants to rip you away from the arms of that killer. you should realise that men in power are the worst kind.

but most of all it’s aggravating the way that doctor looks at you, like he has the right to know you. caleb never liked him, a leach always hanging around when there was clearly no space for him between the two of you.

it drives him mad to think about the lies they feed you. it makes him sick to imagine what poison dipped terms of affection they call you.

nevertheless caleb will sit in silence. bite his tongue until it bleeds and hide the hands that itch to sink into your flesh. always left having to remind himself that they’re your friends who have done nothing wrong. that you are your own person. that he doesn’t need to be involved in every aspect of your life. 

but you must know that they can’t love you. they don’t love you. not like him. 

maybe that’s the worst part.

[anatomicaltheatre]

in 2025 NOBODY is going to talk about "consuming media" or worse "content". in 2025 we are STRICTLY ENGAGING WITH ART

[indepthpokemonheadcanons]

10 Tips for Starting Pokémon Training as an Adult

It's never too late to become a pokémon trainer. That's what people say. But if you're anything like I was, you probably think that's a load of rubbish.

When I took up the hobby, aged 31 and working 9-to-5, I didn't see how I could ever fit in with - or catch up to - the people who'd been training pokémon since they were kids. It's not easy! But it would've been much easier with the right advice.

So whether you're trying to get back into an old hobby, or you're a total fletchling, here are the ten tips I wish I'd known before getting into pokémon training as an adult.

Look to shelters for the perfect partner pokémon. People make a big deal about growing up alongside a pokémon, but raising one from young takes time, money, and energy that you may not have. Most kid trainers can only manage it because mum and dad take care of the boring stuff (like buying feed, taking them for check-ups, and hosing them down when they run headlong into a bog). Shelters are heaving with rescue pokémon, many of which will have been previously owned by trainers, so they'll be a lot easier for a beginner to work with. On top of that, you'll be giving a pokémon a new home, which is vitally important.

Trainer cards are for you, too! This can seem like an obvious one, but I've met so many adult trainers who never even thought to get a card. Even if you're not planning to take on the League, trainer cards still get you great discounts on goods, Gym entry fees, and (weirdly) some restaurants and tourist attractions. You won't get your card for free the way that most kids can, but the cost is very reasonable.

Make use of night classes. Most Gyms, both official and unofficial offer discounted training sessions from 8pm onwards to capture the older market. They're a great pick if you work full-time and they're generally much quieter than the day sessions. The one downside is that the Gym Leader rarely attends, but the other tutors are usually pretty good - and they'll be less busy than the Leader, so more able to offer personalised advice.

You can take on the Gym Challenge without travelling. If you're busy studying, working, or raising children (or all three, god forbid!), you probably won't have the spare time to trek around the region battling Gym Leaders. However, with a bit of planning, you don't need to. Most Gyms take match bookings up to 6 months in advance, which means you can plan trips well in advance for when you have the time to travel out. Pop-up Gyms are also becoming increasingly common, where Gym Leaders will visit other cities for a few days at a time, run some workshops, and reach out to challengers in the local area. These can be busy and oversubscribed, but they're a potential option if you can't travel far.

Unless you've practiced it, don't throw your pokéballs into battle! Yes, it's what the professionals do, and they look effortlessly cool doing it. But it's not as easy as it appears. If you try it, you will end up hurling your pokéball out of the ring, and you'll have to awkwardly shuffle after it to get it back. There's nothing like that to kill your confidence before a match. Gym tutors can teach you how to throw pokéballs like a pro, but until you've mastered it, stick to just clicking the eject button.

Keep it simple, keep it Silph. If you're new to training, or you've returned to the hobby after a long time away, you'll be dumbfounded by the range of pokéballs on sale in general stores. Take deep breaths and try not to panic. Some of the differences are purely cosmetic, some only matter if you plan to be out catching pokémon, and others are just ways to get money out of you (I promise, you don't need Bluetooth-enabled pokéballs, or ones that claim to measure your pokémon's heart rate and stress levels). When in doubt, stick with Silph's classic long-life pokéballs. They cost a pretty penny, but trust me - their quality, longevity, and ease of use is unmatched.

Spend quality time with your pokémon. If you're completely new to raising pokémon, it's easy to dedicate most of your hours together to training. Remember to take breaks, for both your sakes. Spending time on fun, non-competitive activities will deepen your bond with your pokémon and bring you more in sync with each other. Brush their fur, take them for walks, let them watch you cook. It's okay to keep your pokémon in pokéballs, especially if you've got limited space at home, but experts recommend that they spend no more than 8 hours confined at a time.

If you're a returning trainer, remember that your partner pokémon might not be as keen to resume the hobby as you are. After a few years away, some pokémon lose their zeal for competition entirely. It can be tough to imagine battling alongside other pokémon, especially if you and your buddies go way back, but try to see it as a positive. It's a chance to forge new partnerships and try out new battle styles.

Learn from your fellow trainers, no matter their age. If you're an adult beginner, you'll definitely feel out of place next to all the young'uns taking on the Gym Challenge. Swallow your discomfort and ask them to battle! Kids are always up for a match, and they've got a wild, unselfconscious way of battling that you can learn a lot from. Just be prepared to lose a lot. And try not to gloat too much when you finally win against that annoying kid who wears all his Gym badges on his coat. (There's always one).

Know that you're not alone. It's definitely easier to get into pokémon training as a child, but that doesn't mean it's not worth doing later in life. Lots of successful trainers didn't start their careers until adulthood; Wulfric, from the Kalosian League, only got into battling when his young daughter did. Hassel, of the Paldean Elite Four, has written extensively about the difficulties of returning to dragon taming after spending over a decade in another career. Take inspiration from those who have come before you, and remember that you have as much right to this hobby as anyone.

[specific-dreamer]

i love paul holden but don’t ask me anything about paul holden. every hc i have for him starts and ends with darry

the quote “Barbie has a great day every day, but Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him.” but paul is literally ken

[damthosefandoms]

“Will you stop it?”

Darry’s temper is like a bruise you don’t remember how you got. Sodapop just can’t help but press down on it, just to see what happens. And every single time, like clockwork, the pain comes—and so does Darry’s anger.

Soda just has to tap his pencil against the table one more time, and he laughs a little as he does, a little laugh that Darry knows all too well. It drives him nuts. Their father calls it an “instigator giggle.” He says it runs in the family. Darry swears that he, personally, has never laughed like that in his entire life, but oh, oh does it get on his last nerve when he hears it come out of Soda’s mouth.

The grin, the laugh, and Darry reaches over and smacks his brother’s hand so hard the pencil goes flying. Soda screeches in some mix of amusement and pure, unadulterated fear, an indescribable feeling that only successfully annoying your older brother to the point he has no choice but to retaliate can bring, and then jumps up from the table like a dog who heard the word “walk.” He’s got a crazed look in his eyes, hiding behind his chair, and Darry gets up too—Soda laughs and takes a step back as Darry takes two forward, and then the little shit is bolting down the hall and Darry only doesn’t catch up to him because Ponyboy’s appeared in the doorway, complaining he’s missing all the funny stuff, again.

Soda hides behind his locked bedroom door and laughs so hard he cries. Dad comes home later and asks why Soda’s homework isn’t done, why everything’s still laid out on the kitchen table and why he nearly slipped on a pencil walking in the door. Darry’s up in arms and Soda’s giggling like a maniac and Pony whines they left him out again, and all is right in the world.

[strawb3rrytiramisu]

EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT

The Papa Paul AU has found its way to my word doc. Oops! Enjoy ???

[moodymisty]

𝕺𝖋𝖋 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕰𝖉𝖌𝖊

Author's note: The first chapter is done! I really hope you guys enjoy this! Relationships: Damarion(Ultramarine OC)/NightLordSerf!Fem!Reader Warnings: Blood, Brief mentions to unconsensual sexual content, The sorts of things you'd expect being a Night Lord serf Word Count: 2911

Guilliman reads the report in his hands with an inhuman level of efficiency. His eyes gloss over each and every word darting from line to line, faster than any baseline could ever dream to process. Through this he remembers key pieces of information to form his conclusion once he finishes the hundreds and hundreds of lines within a few moments. Statistics, casualties, recorded vox chatter between astartes- all memorized.

-recovery of valuable data successful

-investigation of reason for ship’s abandonment conducted

-no signs of external attack. Suspected internal conflict

-survivor found

-plans for extraditing survivor to nearest habitable colony delayed

Guilliman diverts his eyes from the information in his hands looks to the marine in front of him. He stands stoic and at attention, hands behind his back as he stares at Guilliman and awaits a response. The primarch gives him a momentary once over, looking at the condition of his armor and the look on his face.

He’s young, but not that young. His scars are somewhat minimal, mostly surface level; A helmet is locked onto his belt not far from a basic issue combat knife. A standard, by the books Ultramarine. Nothing particularly special.

“This… survivor; You found them.”

The marine nods. Damarion; Guilliman remembers the name from the report. He spoke on vox that he found a survivor amongst the derelict ship after hearing screaming he soon located the source of. He shifts his weight from one ceramite boot to the other.

“Yes. A serf.”

Guilliman tenses and loosens his jaw, continuing to watch the marine intently. He raises a hand and rubs his cheekbone. He supposes this is the sort of mess he gets bestowed with whenever he dares to muster a thought of being bored. Curse it all, he should've perished the thought before they set off.

“A singular serf? They managed to survive whatever happened on that ship? I was informed it looked like a battlefield.”

Damarion takes a step closer and his hands drop from behind his back, going into a slightly more casual pose as he begins to explain.

“It looked as if the crew formed two separate hierarchies and slowly killed each other off. The rest either escaped or perished somewhere else.” Guilliman hums. Seems sound enough. The Night Lords are far from unfamiliar in terms of infighting, and the idea of them slowly killing each other during a power vacuum is not one that he would blink much of an eye at.

"We were in the barracks hall, one of the quarters had been locked from the outside. I heard yelling from the interior." That was shortly before they managed to get inside, and presumably found a disheveled, hungry serf. Locked inside for safekeeping by the owner, Guilliman would presume.

“Alright. What is his name?”

Guilliman’s brow furrows in confusion when the marine becomes… Nervous.

He shuffles a bit and it makes his armor plates clank against each other, pursing his lips. He suddenly has a bit more trouble looking his own primarch in the eyes, shifting from side to side.

“She… Doesn’t have one.”

The look Guilliman gives him only further heightens the marine’s unease. The two look at each other at odds in a sort of standoff, but not from a personal conflict. Guilliman hadn't expected the serf to be female; Even if there wasn't much reason why he shouldn't. He prods for a bit more information that wasn't in the report.

“What do you mean she doesn't have one?”

The marine clears his throat awkwardly, habitually covering his face with an armored fist for a moment.

“She claims that she doesn’t remember it. That they gave her a new name when they took her for a serf.”

Guilliman raises his eyebrows; He supposes that along with whatever she's encountered, one might be forced to no longer use their own name, or forget it outright. It would be one of the milder things he’s heard in terms of the abuses that baselines face when under the ‘ownership’ of the Sons of Kurze. It seems serf might not be the correct term. Guilliman attempts to pry even further.

“And what was that?”

Damarion suddenly regains any nervousness he’d previously lost, and opens and closes his mouth not unlike a fish suffocating on a beach. It takes a moment before he actually begins speaking again.

“With all due respect My Lord, I cannot repeat it to you.”

Guilliman now grows multiple more layers of confusion, quickly growing frustrated with the roundabout way this conversation is going. Why will one of his men answer an extremely simple question?

“You can’t?” The young marine swallows thickly enough that Guilliman notices his change in demeanor. “And why not?” His brow furrows as well.

“It was, something related to her reproductive organs.”

Guilliman doesn't recoil, but disgust quickly paints his face. He knew that Curze’s sons lacked honor, but it seems the surprises are neverending. He never hears the end of their horrors and abuses against human life; If anything, they only seem to grow like some sort of malignancy.

“Very well.” Guilliman takes a habitual glance towards the datapad, despite the fact that he’s long since memorized the information contained on it for this particular excursion. “And you denied the process to have her transported to Macragge?” Damarion curtly nods once more and returns his hands behind his back into a proper formal stance.

“I wish to take her on as my own serf.”

Guilliman wants to rub his temples and sigh. This all is a mess- But at least it will be this marine’s mess now. As long as he isn’t having to continue dealing with this, then the primarch supposes there is no harm then just letting this young marine have away with it and forgetting this all has happened. If something inevitably goes awry, one of his captains will deal with it.

“Very well. I do not have the time to deal with a singular serf. if this is what you wish, by all means. Just keep her out of trouble.”

Damarion nods. He can work with that.

He hopes.

Leaving Guilliman's office with a respectful bow, the first thing he does is return to his own quarters- knowing you'll still be inside.

Half of the reason that he decided on taking you on as a serf was ever since finding you, you've latched to him incredibly hard. But at the same time, you're horribly frightened of him. It’s as if since he’s established he won’t immediately kill you, he’s proven to be the safest option. But the Night lords surely instilled a heavy, all-consuming fear of astartes in you, and everything about him down to his smell sets you off; It doesn't take much to send you cowering into the corner as if he is going to wring your neck.

You are now his serf, and he will expect a particular decorum from you, but the last thing he wants is for you to fear him.

When he enters his quarters he hears you jump, eyes wide with fear that only calms a bit when he's someone you recognize. The rag is tight in your grip, and it takes him to notice his quarters is immaculate in comparison to how he left it. Every corner is cleaned, the cot blankets are refolded and the floors are spotless. Your voice is still a bit scratchy when you speak.

“Hello Master.”

He winges a bit at the title. Lord was acceptable among the Ultramarines and commonly used by the serfs, but many preferred just their rank or family name. It was something they were used to being called. Master had a connotation to it that he wasn't fond of, particularly when coming from a sickly serf currently on her hands and knees cleaning the floor like a single spot found would spell her own demise.

“Get up off the floor.”

He gestures bluntly, wanting to get you off of sitting on the cold metal floor. You keep refusing to sit on anything else.

But instead of getting up you just cower, looking up at him worried as if you were about to get beaten into submission.

“I'm sorry, I cleaned everything and I didn't want to dirty it.”

The room is indeed spotless, he's surprised you managed to do so much in such a short amount of time. Not that there is much in his quarters to clean; Ultramarines tend to forgo trophies and excessive keeping of things that do not provide any worth to them. The room now reeks of harsh cleaning chemicals that burn his nostrils, and he notices the skin on your hands is inflamed. You've surely been in here this whole time, just toiling away. Damarion doesn't even remember a time you've left his quarters; You're far too frightened to do such a thing so soon after being brought back from the derelict vessel.

“You did fine. Now get up off the floor.”

You slowly rise up, fiddling with the front of your new clothes. Shrinking like you're prepared for a beating, Damarion feels a bit ill at the idea that such a thing was a regular occurrence for you. You still have bruises that he’s noticed already, ones so new that only recently had they begun to fade.

Wilting like a flower, your head lowered into your shoulders and your voice quiets enough that his ears need to prick up in order to hear it.

“I'm so sorry, I'm just a stupid-” He groans and raises his own voice, cutting you off.

“Quiet with that woman, you're fine. Just sit on the cot.”

You suddenly begin look at him like he just asked you to dance. Your eyes dart around his face, and he feels as if you’re checking to see if he’s laid out a trap for you. Not being taken for his word is aggravating him, but he holds it in.

“What? But that's yours…”

Quickly reaching his wits end, he attempts to find more rope in it anyhow and hold strong. Had you been anyone else he would’ve long since pushed you off, but he just…

He can't get visibly upset. The last time he did you cowered like he was going to kill you, and he would rather not see that again. He doesn’t like the feeling of fear like that; From assuming his so monstrous that he would crush you simply for annoying him.

He put this on himself. He supposes this is his punishment for his impulsivity.

“Yes it is, but you can sit on it. Were you only allowed on the floor?”

You nod. He should’ve assumed as such. What callous tyrant would beat his serf within an inch of their life enough times that they now cower in fear at any astartes, with the wounds to prove it, but allow them to sit on his cot? Much to his surprise, your voice raises a bit and you provide a bit of context to your odd behavior.

“My master only let me onto the cot when he wanted to use me.”

Damarion resists the slightly hot feeling in his mouth at such a casual admittance. Use you… the implication was easy to understand. You look at him blankly unaffected by such a thing, before skittering to sit on the edge of the cot.

“Is that what you want from me?”

He sees you reach for your the top of your robes and start to undo it, and jolts towards you before he can fully register the affect of such a quick motion. It causes you to skitter backwards in fear; Your clothes are partly undone and bunch awkwardly.

A pair of marines passes by his open door during this, seeing him reaching for a serf cowered in fear and attempting to undress herself.

“Do not-!”

He takes a deep breath and lowers his voice. He attempts to remember his training, remember the many times his superiors told him to keep hold of his temper as he straightens up.

The marines pass. He knows he'll be hearing from his superiors about this. He’s already gotten in trouble enough times, whats another he supposes.

“Do not do that again. There is no need to undress yourself.”

He's going to need to somehow get a second cot. Or by Terra, at least a blanket for you to lay on. He would feel like a monster for making a sad, beaten serf sleep on the cold metal floor.

The other serfs might be able to get you something, perhaps.

Going near the serfs quarters had been an odd affair for him; He's never seen the place. When he ordered what he wanted done, it hadn't taken long for someone to inquire about the reason.

“You are the one with the serf from the Night Lords ship?"

He didn't confirm or deny it- he had no desire to do such a thing to a random serf. Though the confirmation that the news is spreading is, abit concerning.

Of all the things he would be known for, it wouldn't be his valor it would be for his...

Wrapped tightly in the tattered remains of your robes he carries you cradled in one arm- the other holds his bolter. He doesn't look down at you, and simply continues forward as he follows his squad. They all look at him curiously.

...Moment of impulsivity.

Satisfied with this success, Damarion goes to have his armor removed. This mission was the last of his current rotation, so he's due to be removed. It's a long process, and doing so gives him plenty of time to think. The mechanicum that begin the process pay no mind to his unfocused eyes, his body going through the habitual motions as piece after piece is taken from him.

He regrets doing this. Taking you.

You would do better tossed in with the other serfs. His eyes stare of at nothing as he feels the electrical jolts of his armour disconnecting from his armouring suit. For a brief second it feels like he's missing a part of him, but that feeling fades after a moment each piece is removed.

They always said he had a temper. Was impulsive; Too brash for an Ultramarine. He made a split second decision to the Primarch himself and now there's no way he can go back.

You'll settle with time.

Baselines might not be as stoic as them, but you're flexible, adjustable. And this ship will surely prove more pleasing than whatever it was like with the Night Lords. It won't be long until you begin to behave normally. Like a frightened animal, you just need a bit to realize you're safe.

You had acted surprised when he had lights in his quarters, and whenever he returns to you, he finds them off. He's seen you squint almost as if your eyes hurt because of the lights, and Damarion assumes you spent much of your time in at pitch black.

He makes a discontented sigh at no one in particular once his armouring suit is peeled from him and detaches from his ports. His skin almost feels odd now that it touches the stagnant air, and that brief, uncomfortable feeling of now being out of his armor lingers for a few minutes before it fades. What remains however, is his desire for a shower. The stench of him is now unsealed and he wants for not much more than to not stink like a sewer. That becomes his first order of business once the Mechanicum are finished.

Once he is clean and covered in his casual linens, he returns to his quarters to see you sitting on the ground again, and the spare bedding he had requested is sitting folded on his cot. You seem to have made no attempt to touch them, and if anything, you seem to be actively avoiding even looking at them. He gestures vaguely.

“...They are for you.”

The way your voice pitches when you look at him gives him an odd feeling.

“Really?”

You hesitate grabbing them for a moment after he nods, before you finally pull them off his cot and make almost a sort of nest on the floor. He watches for a moment out of just sheer curiosity, before throwing his weight onto his cot.

He is able to slow his own brain instantly and soon after fall asleep, though unbeknownst to him you stay awake for a good bit longer. You watch him intently to make sure he's really asleep, fiddling in the corner on your blanket. The idea of sleeping in the same room is still unsettling. The dim candles that are lit provide just enough light to see most things, but not strain your eyes.

Only once you know he's asleep, do you attempt to get some sleep yourself. The fear still remains, an astartes is in here your body is tight like a spring, but eventually the fatigue takes over and everything finally goes black.

[naylvsx]

PLSSSSS🙏🙏🙏

[devilsxxharlot]

https://www.tumblr.com/devilsxxharlot/783443187469615104/sometimes-i-have-thoughts-and-get-embarrassed-and?source=share

Frothing at the mouth. THIS IS MY FIRST IMPRESSION OF YOU AND IM HOOKED

i like to imagine tim is embarrassingly transparent.

you can gauge his mounting anger as he goes from jaw clicks to clenched hands to gravelly insults. his fingers always tap out the exact same rhythm when he's nervous, and his usual frown melts away when he's tired, replaced by drooping eyes and a distant stare. and it's so easy to tell when he's legitimately happy, because for once he's not smoking like a chimney and his face is so much more relaxed, like he's in the before; like nothing ever went wrong.

he pretends to be jaded and unreachable, but the truth is, he's a rambler. a squeaker. he gives so easy under any outside force and he never really learns how to mask the vulnerability that encases his soul. he's a bleeding hand, truly, and unfortunately for him, his companions find great amusement in exploiting this.

toby, especially.

tim would have known you were toby's from the get-go, given how obsessed he is with you. at best, toby can't go five minutes without talking to or about you; and at worst, toby's going absolutely fucking ballistic because brian smiled at you a little too long. so tim usually tunes out toby's loverboy rambles—what does he care about how pretty you are? how sweet? why does it matter what your laugh sounds like? it doesn't, unless tim's itching to be on the receiving end of a tantrum, and he's got enough to deal with as is.

or so he thought.

it would have been his first time seeing you in person. you were so much softer than he ever could have imagined. your eyes weren't dark the way all of theirs were; your hands were soft, roughened only be honest work; you were gentle. you smiled when you said hi. you said thank you when tim bought you some shitty, five dollar gas station snack. you laughed at something he said, eyes crinkling, hand over your mouth, snorting out apologies.

he understands, now, why toby covets you so. you might as well be god with the way he's willing to pray.

anything to hear you say his name again, or even to have your arm brush against his; anything to be cleansed by you.

it snowballs from there. he's too weak, and maybe too selfish, to limit himself from you like he should. he talks to you more, all rambles and tirades and rants, his heart soaring with every word you indulge him. he brings you little treats that he knows you like. he smokes less even when the withdrawal has him feeling like his head is splitting open, because he's suddenly hyperaware of how he must reek and he wants to be good for you. it's laughable. and worst of all, it's obvious.

for whatever reason, toby never says a word to him.

tim assumes it must be a moment of sadism from the younger proxy. despite how far he lets himself go, there are some lines tim only crosses in dreams. whatever it is, self-control or self-loathing, it keeps him away. you remain toby's. tim remains alone.

he was sure it'd stay that way.

but toby is... adventurous. tim would rather call it stupid, the way he risks himself so often, too cocky from a mix of his CIPA and the conditional immortality the operator grants him. with a shrug and a stupid grin, all toby ever says is:

"i-if it h-ur-hurtsss, i w-... won't feel it. if it k-kills me, it w-won't s—stick."

he's like a fucking dog, trespassing places he shouldn't, picking fights he'll lose, downing anything he can get his paws on. that includes a plethora of drugs.

you'd think someone with such an aversion to alcohol would carry maybe a fraction of the same energy for pills. if toby's not smoking something, he's swallowing pills. if he's not swallowing pills, he's eating laced edibles. rinse and repeat. of course you'd get roped into his shitty habits.

the call comes as a surprise to tim. toby, asking him for help? with you? at first, he assumes something fucking awful must have happened—which, really, is his own fault. nothing in toby's tone evidenced that you were in danger, but he got in his own head; lost his breath at the idea of being your hero, liked the idea of you clinging to him for safety so much that he was over at your and toby's cabin in record time.

so imagine. imagine tim letting himself in, heartbeat pounding in his ears as he calls for toby, and then, with a crack, you. and god, he's sure he just about has a fucking heart attack when your voice answers back a loud t-tim?, all strained and weepy. he follows the sound immediately, boots thudding way too hard against the floorboards, and opens the door to your shared bedroom without a second thought—

only to find you sprawled in bed, legs spread, sex on full display as toby's hand plays with you. toby lifts himself from your neck, tilting his head to grin at tim, and you're whimpering. trembling, whining, crying, tugging weakly at the collar of toby's shirt to bring him back to you.

"l-look, buh-baby. i t-told you timmy w-was g—gonna come help you."

tim's fucked.

[mellohiizz]

mel mellohiizz............ can i beg for uu!parrot and uu!clownpierce art

i love the parallels between them, it's so fun to think about