#v. duality of fate

[mxldito]

Cont. from here with @fangmother

"I am not ducking, I'm setting a scene! At my core, I am ugly. I do ugly things. I am a parasite. But I am a parasite with ideals." Coyote huffed, "What is some assassination for the greater good? What is a few shot messengers? It has to get uglier before it gets prettier."

Coyote blew a puff of air at Rainer and leaned back against the balcony rail. How to say it all coherently? "Gerontocracy and tradition. That is the world I was put in. You're expected to die at the whims of your elders and change their diapers while you're at it. By their rules, I'm not even supposed to live alone yet, much less own property."

"I do it so they know that I don't need their permission to eat. And neither does anybody else they spawned to scrub their floors. If that means killing more local leaders. . ." They shrugged.

[k-zuzu]

홍중

kim hongjoong 𖹭 fem idol!reader

DESTINY.

synopsis: idol!reader is very open about her love for ateez kim hongjoong, scandal breaks, they end up together. (feat. bang chan of skz being wise.)

content: eventual smut mdni, cringe/crack, angst if u squint, strangers2friends2lovers, reader uses she/her pronouns, slow burn?, this is shit, choppy storyline lots of time skips and anticlimactic, fluffy?, lots of use of the pet name 'baby', cuddling, big sexy hongjoong, swearing, not proofread, lowercase intended. explicit warnings: in the studio couch, handjob, p in v, no prep, vanilla, unprotected, creampie, sub/dom undertones?, virgin/inexperienced reader

guide: italics in dialogues are used when they speak in korean. chat fonted dialogues are comments and exchanged texts. long blocks of dialogues are used during lives because they're not really doing anything apart from speaking!

zuzu's note: main masterlist. the girl in the picture is just a reference/icon to get the overall vibe of the "idol aesthetic." also, because it's difficult to make things neutral, i created your group and fandom's name, and also put in a groupmate's name in as placeholders because it's difficult to write without mentioning them lol.

you spent two years honing your skills as a trainee at a modest, struggling company before rising to fame as the leader of your own group, DESTINY. your impressive duality on stage, seamlessly transitioning from intense, commanding dance moves and mature raps to the charming, feminine aegyo concept, quickly won over fans. your first award was hard-earned for your sultry debut song titled "Sit." (in which you would subtly imply that you want to sit on someone's face).

you, in particular, gained a significant international following because of your hilarious bedroom lives where you would often deliver sassy comebacks to fans, showcase your impressive english language skills, and share random chatter that fans couldn't help but love. Initially, you became known for your goofy on-screen personality. however, as your talents and stage presence shone through, it was no surprise that people fell for you.

DESTINY has cemented their status as THE 5th generation girl group, making waves in the music industry. numerous renowned idols you adored in the past (one of which, was Kim Hongjoong) have taken notice of your group's bold lyrics and praised your distinctive style and captivating concept.

one day, you decide to hop onto instagram to go live and have a casual chat with your dedicated fans, also known as fates, during a brief pause from rehearsing the dance routine for your upcoming comeback album titled "idgaf." despite having beads of sweat clinging to your forehead and being slightly winded from the dance, you maintain a casual conversation with your viewers;

"so, a few days ago i was on my phone and i was watching these uh, these compilations of other idols talking about me—" you pause to catch your breath and slightly chuckle at how ridiculous you sound. "someone made one of those cute videos on youtube." you repeat in korean. "my favorite part was when they showed ateez reaction to me casually rapping that one part in WORK during one of my lives..." you took a deep inhale and looked away as you thought about it some more. "hongjoong-sunbaenim was sooo, aaaagh! he was— i mean, okay, so, don't like, make a big deal out of this, but i had a hugeeee crush on him for so long, so long, like, before i debuted, i swear, his charizzma is unmatched!!! aaaaaGH, he COMPLIMENTED MY RAPPING IN THE VIDEO! and then i began to wonder if, like, was my rapping even good? damn, i could've done better if i knew hongjoong-sunbaenim would watch it. he was also, actually my inspiration as a leader and a producer..."

you continued chattering on, unaware that your manager would soon reprimand you for discussing that particular topic, citing potential negative consequences. however, it wasn't a major issue, since your fans actually valued your candidness. sure, there were a few hateful remarks scattered among the positive comments, but many responded positively, with remarks such as:

"help she's so real 😭"

"waaah, wishing i was hongjoon rn"

"she can't have hongjoong! he is dating atiny" — "she is atiny tho?" someone replied.

"totally ship them" and it was all enough to make your day.

it's not too long before you come across a reel on instagram that many fans tagged you in; hongjoong reacting to a clip of you simping over him on your livestream. your heartbeat picked up its pace and you sat up properly, raising the volume on your phone as you mentally prepared yourself for the video.

"yahh, i already saw this." he says and you pause the video. fuck. you play it again. "honestly, i thought it was a bit cute." you blush and kick your feet until he speaks again. "it's rare to see junior idols showcasing their admiration for their seniors, but it's really nice, i really like it... especially when they admire me," he shows a heart to the camera. "y/n, if you're watching this, please continue to show your love and support to ateez!"

you were a little disappointed because he seemed to spin it off that you were just a supportive junior/atiny, but you decided to brush it off.

weeks pass and the topic dies down until a photo of you and hongjoong chatting while he signed your album at their fansign event was spreading around the internet and rumors began — you didn't think it would be hidden since it was a public event, but you also didn't think that it would be a scandal. it's your first time being able to chat with hongjoong at all and the dating rumors are just ridiculous. your manager gives you the go signal and you decide to address the rumors by going live in your iconic bed, the lights are dim and you're bare faced, wearing glasses —

"helllooo..." you adjusted the camera at the foot of the bed and you laid on your stomach in front of it. "yesterday... i met kim hongjoong-sunbaenim of ateez..." you paused as you thought about what to say next — you didn't want a script, you wanted to stay yourself: authentic and genuine.

"and today, i was very disappointed because many fates say that we are dating and expressed their hatred for the idea... i would like to point out that i only admire him now as my senior and inspiration for being an idol! i would like to address that, honestly, the dating rumors are a bit ridiculous just because i said i had a crush. it was my first time meeting hongjoong-sunbaenim," your tone was a bit defensive and pouty, you paused as you fiddled with your earring and stared at the camera, snivveling.

"it was my very first time meeting him, it was awkward. more awkward than if he was with a regular fan, maybe because i am an idol and i expressed my admiration for him very publicly, but he was very kind and considerate about it. he really expressed his appreciation for me as his junior and atiny and that was the extent of our interaction. i hope you guys don't spread rumors like this again even if it's true, it would be private business and you shouldn't gossip about someone's love life like this. if you guys like it so much, i suggest you guys focus on your own." you make a light joke of the situation, slightly hoping you don't get hate for that as well. soon after that live, you posted a selfie you took with hongjoong at the fansign event with the caption "forever atiny! 🫶" and you decided to stop and stray away from the whole hongjoong topic because you didn't want to cause him any more trouble.

luckily, after that, many fates decided to come forward and be more open as they showed a lot of support for you and hongjoong.

"this is ridiculous! she shouldn't have to address those dumb rumors, please respect them! they are idols, your baseless rumors could ruin their career."

"i feel so bad for her and hongjoong. i love their innocent chemistry and i believe they should interact more often! male and female idols should be able to interact without being "accused" of dating. like she said, even if they are, it is none of our business! so sad that she'll probably have avoid him after this. so disappointed in whoever made the rumors."

months later, your group and ateez both were in Chicago, USA for your comeback world tour at the same time and while you were there, you decided to attend their concert and you screamed at the top of your lungs and went along every fan chant like a pro, you were far away from the stage so there were no hopes of being noticed — since it was convenient, your managers decided that your group and ateez should collaborate on dances of your comeback title songs, and naturally, you and hongjoong were paired together by your managers in hopes of using this dance as a warning for fans not to mess with the two of you. much to your convenience, the title track of your comeback album is "idgaf."

"hongjoong-sunbaenim!" you slightly jogged over to him and the staff and group members and bowed as deep as you could, your manager and fellow DESTINY members following close by.

"there's no need for that," hongjoong waves you off as you came back up and you chuckle slightly as you awkwardly look around the silent room — you often gossiped with your members about how you'd 'let hongjoong do things to you' among other questionable remarks, and right now you silently hope they wouldn't say a word about it. "i already learned the dance earlier, it's really good! i heard you choreographed it? " hongjoong attempts at small talk and you nod politely in response, holding your hands together, noticing the ateez members behind him glancing at you guys, whispering, and chuckling.

"yes, it took me a month to perfect the choreography before i taught my members." you explain, but before hongjoong could continue, one of the staff unknowingly interrupts your chat.

"okayyy, let's get started! in your positions, please."

you guys complete the dance on the second take, and once it was posted, the fans absolutely adore your chemistry (just as you did) they fawn over the idea of you and hongjoong together (just as you did).

after the posting of the dance, you have a casual live featuring your group mate, nina, who also spoke english. the theme; "doing face masks in my bed and eating ramen." during that very live, you receive a notification while your friend talks to the viewers. you picked you your phone to check what it was, your heart almost literally stopped.

kim hongjoong...

was...

following you back on instagram.

your eyes almost popped out of your head and you let out a really long high pitched screech.

"what? " nina looks at you, befuddled but laughing at your odd reaction. after a few seconds you still don't respond to her as you kick your feet. "ya, what is it? " she attempts once again and lean over your shoulder to check your phone but you slam it down on the bed. you slowly turn to her, trying and failing to contain your smile as you whisper so the audience couldn't hear.

"hongjoong-sunbaenim is following me on instagram..."

her eyes widen and she smiles. "are you sure?" she asked in a high pitched voice and you nodded frantically, showing her your phone. her smile widens and the two of you couldn't hold it in anymore — you both begin squealing and grabbing each others hands live and the fate's comments kept coming in.

"what are you two talking abouttt???"

"i didn't hear what she said!"

fans would soon understand what you were screeching about and this time, instead of dating rumors, it was "feeling" rumors. fans would gossip and speculate about how you two obviously had feelings for each other, other speculations include your "random chemistry" with hongjoong to be a marketing strategy — to always put you two together to gather more attention, likes, and fan reactions.

what they don't know is that they are correct on both accounts; because you and hongjoong so obviously had feelings each other the staff would always put you together.

the tipping point.

hongjoong posted a picture on his story of a ticket purchase to your world tour comeback concert.

the concert is coming to an end.

DESTINY is singing the encore, which is also your last chance; ever since hongjoong posted that on his story you made a plan. but you told everyone that it was in the heat of the moment when you did it. that's what you told yourself — the adrenaline, your sore muscles, your vocal cords beginning to strain, the screams of fate, the sound of your heartbeat, the thought of hongjoong. your lines in the song were coming close — before the beat drops, you skip toward the center and you raise your hand, microphone close to your mouth, you screamed.

"HONGJOONG-SUNBAENIM!" you scream out, your voice echoing through the arena. "this one's for you!" the fate fans erupt into a frenzy of deafening screams and cheers. the stunned expressions of the DESTINY members are captured on the iphone cameras held by fans. "FATE! let me hear you FUCKING SCREAM YOUR HEARTS OUT!" you shout, launching into the chorus of the song. as the beat drops and the intensity kicks in, everything around you becomes a hazy blur, and for a moment, your mind goes blissfully blank.

as the concert reaches its finale, the members of DESTINY retreat backstage to catch their breath and decompress. you immediately seek refuge in the nearest chair, plopping down and exhaling a loud, tired sigh.

"ya, y/n, what were you thinking?" nina sits on the chair next to you. "we don't know what could happen now."

that was the worst possible feeling to have as an idol. the anxiety of what comes next.

...it reminded you of the time mingi swore to jongho on a live.

"it's not that big of a deal," you say as you chug and finish an entire bottle of water. "it's to feed fate's hunger..."

"yaaah, how you think hongjoong-sunbaenim would react? " she ponders and you shrug, choosing not to think about it. despite your nonchalant demeanor, you completely regret it. 'how would everyone react?' sure, you constantly openly express your admiration for him everywhere else, but onstage was something else, 'what happened to professionalism?' you sigh and put your hand on your forehead. you're going to get in a lot of trouble with your manager now.

that nonsense yet iconic line would get you the title of the "most ballsy k-pop leader of the 5th generation " which is also the headline of the hit article that would later accuse you of being "too forward" with your "poor attempt" at bringing modern media and standards to korean culture and k-pop. back then, your line at the concert would not be acceptable, but now there are so many of your fans — your fates defending you, supporting you, and fighting all of the haters and closed fates who openly express their distaste and negativity for your unprofessional behaviour. you still believe that you deserve at least half of it.

it's no surprise that hongjoong doesn't share or post any public reaction to your iconic line of 2024, unlike you, an immature newer idol, he has been in the entertainment industry longer and is an expert on how to maintain professionalism, especially when it comes to dating scandals. agh, he probably lost his respect for you after that moment.

another few weeks pass. to your surprise, even after your unprofessional behaviour, DESTINY was invited to an award show, and during one of the performances, nature called, so you got up to head to the bathroom. in one of the hallways, the smallest of small chances and the most cliche of cliches happened. you and hongjoong stood in front of each other at the hallway that led to the bathrooms, you bow deeply and greet him softly, a bit embarrased you hunch in shame. "hello..."

"y/n-ah! " he's surprisingly relaxed, he raises a hand forward and you awkwardly double check it before high fiving him and he puts it back in his pocket. "how are you? i've actually been a bit of a fate myself these past few weeks and that thing you said at the concert wasss, wow."

'okay, so he addressed the elephant in the room just like that. was it even the elephant for him? it seemed like a koala, or... a chipmunk or something.' goes through your mind. you awkwardly chuckle and push your hair away from your face. "yeah... i'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable, i've regretted it ever since—"

"no! you don't have to be. it was cool. really cool. i liked it." he says. his cute, reassuring smile remains and you can't help but smile back.

"really?" you ask, you don't how pathetic you sound asking it but hongjoong liked how it came out of your mouth — your personality now is so soft-spoken and different from the "ballsy 5th gen leader" the internet made you out to be, he adored the duality. "i was actually super nervous, i was afraid you would think i ruined the face of my group or something and unfollow me on instagram..." you ramble nervously.

"ya, i would never! " he said and took his phone out. "i am a certified fate from here on out, you and are- are the fate-inies." he handed you his phone. "i was actually wondering if we can exchange contacts?" you look at him, shocked painted across your face.

"really???" you ask and don't hesitate to grab his phone. "of course!" you try your best not to sound too eager but of course, you fail. hongjoong laughs at your innocent reaction and you return his phone. he smiles, satisfied, and lifts it up and shaking the screen in front of you.

"i'll text you," he says casually. "will you reply?" you nod, trying to contain your smile because you don't wanna scare him away.

"of course! why else would i give you my number?" he makes way for you in the small hallway and mumbles a farewell as he waves his hand and he begins to walk away, you turn and watch him until he's out of sight before you run to the bathroom, slam the door behind you and scream your lungs out in the mirror. you totally lost the urge to pee and you return to your groupmates immediately after, already gossiping about what went down. later that night, DESTINY wins an award, you celebrate, and head back to your dorm, wash up and fall on your bed where you would receive a text from hongjoong.

hongjoong: "yo! congratulations on your win! i was very happy when DESTINY was announced and saw you onstage ㅋㅋㅋㅋ."

you bite your nail, thinking of your response.

you: "hi! tysm! congratulations on your award as well. it's expected of ateez-sunbaenim, i already see it coming ㅋㅋㅋ"

hongjoong: "ah, don't be like that. it's hard to live up to expectations"

you chuckle at his response. his typing style was different than you expected. you got ready to type out another response until he messaged again.

hongjoong: "btw, when r u available? we should celebrate our win together. as leaders."

your heart skips a beat... or two. is he asking you out?

you: "how about tomorrow night?"

hongjoong: "oh, no can do. ateez celebration party tomorrow with a few close friends."

you sigh and you're about to put your phone down for the night when you reel another vibration.

hongjoong: "unless u wanna come? ur more than welcome"

you: "idk, it might not be the best choice. will there be other female idols there?"

hongjoong: "uhh, ur being kinda dubious. do you want there to be female idols?"

you: "yes pls"

hongjoong: "then there will be female idols there. why? are you going to choose them over me?"

you: "ㅋㅋㅋㅋ only if the entirety of blackpink are there."

hongjoong: "it might seem crazy what i'm 'bout to say..."

hongjoong: "sorry but lisa was all we could book 4 the night"

you: "U FR?!"

hongjoong: "no"

hongjoong: "ateez is not made of gold. lisa-sunbaenim is also busy with more important matters"

hongjoong: "ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ"

hongjoong: "...are you still coming?"

hongjoong: "..."

hongjoong: "y/n?"

you: "yes! it sounds great"

hongjoong: "great. i'll send u the details, see u there ;)"

...is that a fucking winky face? you swear this man is the bane of your existence.

you go to the party alone — and surprisingly, it isn't the small gathering you expected, there were so many recognizable faces, not just of idols, but actors. the venue is a large vip lounge of an underground club in the city. the interior was obnoxious and practically made of gold —you look around and see choi san leaning on a wall, alone. he's a familiar face that you're comfortable talking with. you make eye contact across the room and you walk your way toward him confidently. "hello, sunbaenim!! congratulations on your win~" you give him a soft smile and he smiles back, taking a sip from the glass in his hand — is that brandy? you watch as he silently puts the cup down on the table next to him without so much as a thanks to your greeting, he puts his hands on each of your cheeks, and you wonder if his drunk until you're flustered as he forcibly turns your head 90° to the right.

"hyung is over there."

you easily recognize your hongjoong.

he is chatting with who you recognize to be bang chan of stray kids but your eyes just lock in on him — everyone else around is suddenly blurred and he's the only one you see. you focus on the way his lips move as he speaks, the way he softly nods — this is him when he thinks you're not watching and it's so damn hot, him being himself. the mere fact that he breathes is hot. damn, you're so in love. san chuckles at how you already forgot he was next to you, he conks you in the head and walks away.

you walk toward hongjoong and excuse yourself to their conversation. "y/n!" he says enthusiastically and places a hand around your shoulders. "bang chan, i'm sure your familiar," hongjoong says casually and he makes eye contact with someone in the room — getting distracted, he walks away. of course, it's his group's celebratoon party, you weren't the only guest he would tend to. you awkwardly look up at bang chan and wave.

"hi, sunbaenim! i really love maniac and superbowl, amazing songs!" you give him two thumbs ups and he giggles bashedly, almost blushing — you knew bangchan to alwayd be a flustered mess, he never knew how to react to compliments. "also, i subscribed to your bubble once, wowwww." you tried to make small talk and he laughed once more.

"yeahhh, i can get pretty crazy there. you know, i would also watch your lives sometimes, you're funny!" he says, and you smile.

"you really think so? aaah, i know i have a lot of cringe moments, especially when i first revealed my crush on hongjoong."

"oh yeah, no, it wasn't cringe at all! everybody in the industry already saw your chemistry from before you mentioned it. i totally support you guys haha." he speaks casually and your eyes widen.

"wh-what? support our what? what do we have? what chemistry?" you ramble and bang chan chuckles.

"relax, relax — it's nothing, just, we see your flirting here and there and you two would be so cute together. but, if you want my advise, i wouldn't recommend going public with it, honestly. DESTINY— it's DESTINY, right? you guys just debuted, i don't think having a public relationship with an idol older than you is the right career choice this early on." he says and you nod along, you totally understood where he was coming from but when you stayed silent too long for comfort, bangchan tilted his head. "hey? did i say something wrong?"

you snapped your attention back at him. "hm? yeah, i mean NO! i completely understand what you said and i agree. plus, there's nothinggg between me and hongjoong, we're just... i don't know we're, okay, so there might be a little bit of a thing, but it'll take a long time until it actually becomes something~" you giggle and bangchan giggles as well and the two of you are just a giggling mess and hongjoong comes back to join your group.

"hey, what's all the giggling about?" he moves his head to look at you, then bang chan, then you, then bang chan — "isn't this your first time being acquainted? why are you two having so much fun without me? " then bangchan just smiles, then looks at you, then hongjoong, then you, then hongjoong.

"i'll get going nowww~" he says in a goofy tone and walks away.

"what's with him?" hongjoong mutters and looks at you. "have you eaten? eat! there's plenty of appetizers and foods around—"

"hongjoong-sunbaenim," you interrupt him. "ah, no... hongjoong-oppa." you look up at him, and he stares at you, expression blank but clearly flustered at the new title he got from you. "what are we?" you decide to live up to your title as the most ballsy kpop leader of the 5th generation and he chokes on air, eyebrows raising and eyes blinking repeatedly as he processes what you said.

"um," hongjoong looks around the room nervously, maybe concerned if anyone overheard what you just said. "i... like- hm? huh? i-" he can barely get a word out and you tilt your head, maybe you shouldn't have been to forward, it was wayyy too soon.

"sorry, you don't have to answer." you say calmly and he lets out a very obvious sigh of relief and you chuckle.

"felt like i was trying to defuse a time bomb." he laughs, holding a hand over his chest and you smile as not to ruin the mood, but your next question would do just that for you.

"but... be honest, this is more than a friendship, right? " you can see his smile falter ever so slightly and the silent pause is way too long for comfort. maybe you shouldn't have asked.

"...we'll see where it goes, yeah? " hongjoong smiles. you nod in understanding and he pets your head ever-so-softly as not to ruin your hair. "let's go, let's enjoy the party."

later that night, he takes you to your dorm in the same car he is being driven home in — he waves goodbye and you bow politely. "i'll text you!" hongjoong says, loud enough for you to hear. the car drives off in the distance and you smile and wave. "i'll reply!" you yell back.

your relationship lasted in the talking stage for a few months. rumors were nonexistent because you and hongjoong didn't have to express your attraction to each other through lives and posts and stories anymore, fans assumed it was because the staff felt the tension between you two died down and stopped using it for clout, little did they know that it all began hiding behind closed doors through hundreds of flirty texts and phone calls, cute selcas, handmade gifts, ordering food for each other, occasional video calls, and personal dates throughout your busy schedule. you were practically dating now but you and hongjoong never had a label.

"so, what are you guys? " wooyoung would ask.

hongjoong takes a moment to answer as he scrolls through his laptop. "...we're in a situationship."

"aren't you a little too old to be afraid of commitment?"

"ya, bastard—"

it wouldn't take too long for your "situationship" to spread among other idols and since everyone else was pretty closed off or "careful" it was the gossip of the industry.

about 6 months into whatever you and hongjoong had; you two were alone together in the living room of his dorm, everyone else was out and about, busy tending to their own lives leaving you two were finally alone together. one of the few moments you treasured. you laid comfortably into his chest as you both focused on wonka (timothee ver.) playing on the flat screen tv. hongjoong subconsciously pets your hair every now and then and you nuzzled deeper into his chest but there was a lingering thought in your head that you have been meaning to ask.

"hongjoong-oppa..." you mumble. hongjoong humms in response — you feel the vibration of his voice against your ear that rests just above his chest. you shuffled to look at him, he glances at you, seeing that you're a bit serious, he pauses the movie and he sits up a bit. "...is it still to early to ask what we are?"

hongjoong's expression doesn't change. it makes it hard for you to read him and how he feels about the question you have been too scared to ask these past few weeks. hongjoong doesn't respond however, just looking at you with clueless eyes. you sigh, expressing your disappointment and gently push him back into his position on the couch and laid back on top of him.

"nevermind." you murmur. you don't wanna force him into rushing the relationship or do anything he's uncomfortable with, but you don't want to wait too long either. shouldn't the two of you always be on the same page? you sigh again the more you thought about it, but your thoughts were interrupted as soon as hongjoong pushed you back up into your position.

"no," he simply said. "it's not too soon. in fact, it's a little late." he began and you started listening to him, pout evident on your face. hongjoong takes a deep breath. "the truth is, i have been thinking about this topic... me and some of the members would talk about it, and they kept telling me to "put a label on it," but my response was always that i was too scared." you looked at him, brows furrowed. "i really like you, y/n. it scares me." he whispers.

"...you don't... have to be scared." you say softly.

"i know, i know—" he rubs his forehead and he lets out a deep sigh. "but a label makes it so official, y'know...? "

"i know, oppa, but if our relationship, is not going anywhere then we might as well stop now." you can feel the anger in you bubbling up. "i don't date around, you know. you said yourself that you wanted to see where this would go, it's been months and after everything we've done together, i still can't believe we're not even called boyfriend and girlfriend," you pause to take a breath and calm yourself down. "i don't want to force you anything, but i just, i can't help but think that you don't want to continue this but you're too afraid to tell me. i don't want to wake up tomorrow and you change your mind and decide that you don't want me anymore, i need to propose an ultimatum." you pause, licking your lips nervously. "if you don't want to be my boyfriend now then maybe you shouldn't be my boyfriend at all."

you rambled on like you usually do, but hongjoong doesn't want to interrupt you, he never wanted to, he loves listening to you talk, but hearing the words that came out of your mouth upset him.

"...y/n, don't get me wrong," he began. "i want to be your boyfriend and i want you to be my girlfriend, i want a label, but you have to understand that it's hard for me..." he explained calmly, voice soft.

his words don't change how you feel, and you frown. "then why? what are you waiting for—? " your words are interrupted when you feel his lips smash into yours in a soft and wet kiss, it's almost aggressive but eventually, it melts into a tender, passionate connection before pulling away. you look at hongjoong, a little dazed but befuddled. that was the last thing you expected but somehow it calmed your nerves, unlike his words. you look away from him as a blush creeps into your face — that was your first ever kiss with him. "why'd you do that..? "

"because, y/n," hongjoong softly squishes your cheeks and guides you to look into his eyes. "you're beautiful. not just physically — your personality is beautiful, your passion is beautiful... you're a wonderful person and i am very lucky to have you." you're glad that you're looking at him because you can see the sincerity in his eyes. "...and i love how much you care and i- i know that i am ready to have a label, it's just that i told you... i'm scared... but, i guess, we don't always jump into things prepared..." he says and your expression softens. you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him just a little bit closer. "y/n... can i be your boyfriend?" he asks softly.

"of course. what's wrong with you?" you playfully hit his chest and pull him into another short kiss. "i literally had a breakdown about the fact that you didn't wanna be my boyfriend and you're still asking me if i want you to be my boyfriend?" you laugh, hongjoong leans in, another small kiss.

"ya, don't tease me." he mumbles against your lips and you smile mischievously.

"or what~?" you ask, suggestively tilting your head as you look into his gorgeous eyes. hongjoong simply chuckles at your boldness and pecks your cheek, pulling you in for a proper hug and he whispers in your ear.

"don't push it," you were shocked at how deep his voice became. "i might not be able to contain myself..." he says casually and lays back down as if he didn't just leave you wet. "...right, let's continue the movie." he grabs the remote from the table and unpauses it. you just sit there, high and dry.

it's been a year since you and hongjoong have been together, fans are still unaware but catch on to random hints and slip-ups here and there but usually they are too far fetched to be considered a "soft launch" (like you accidentally calling hongjoong "oppa" on a livestream), and only ateez and DESTINY know that your relationship is official official (even your managers don't know, which made it super difficult to go on dates.)

their reactions include but are not limited to:

"finally. you two were beginning to be insufferable..." — DESTINY

"NO WAYYY!?!? THAT'S SO GREAT!!!" — Ateez

"oppaaa!" you yell loudly as you enter the dance studio hongjoong and a few of his members were practicing in. it was late at night and not many people were in the building at the time, you ran over to him and jumped in his arms.

"hi, baby! what are you doing here so late?" he kisses your cheek as he carries you by your thighs against him and you look into his eyes.

"why? can't i see my baby while he's working? " your arms are wrapped around his neck and you kiss his nose, he smiles and scrunches his nose, nuzzling it into yours like a rabbit.

"ahh, come on, you know you're my baby!" he says in a sweet aegyo voice and you giggle. he puts you down and seonghwa walks by.

"come on guys, seriously, i think i might barf..."

"i know, 'oppa, you're my baby, not just that — i want your babies~'" san decides to join in and mock you two with a skit and feigning a high pitched voice. pretending to be you and that seonghwa was hongjoong, playfully hitting his chest.

"ya, stop that, you weirdo—" seonghwa chuckles and hits san back.

you both ignore them, already used to their antics. you hold hongjoong's hands, looking into his eyes. "oppa, wanna go get a snack?"

"totally! let's go." he lets go of your left hand and holds on to your right as he leads you out the dancing studio and into the corridor. "so, where are we going?"

"what? why would i know? i thought you knew." you say, dumbfounded.

"why should i know? you're the one who suggested that we go out for a snack!" he exclaims.

"okay, okay! sooo... let's just go back to the dancing studio? " you turn around and hongjoong pauses, his smile remains the same.

"...actually, i have something else in mind." his voice is soft yet deep — you tilt your head in curiosity as he leads you to the end of the corridor and to the elevators, clicking the down button.

"...soo, are you going to tell me or..?"

"let's hang out in my studio."

this was undeniably the smartest idea Hongjoong had come up with since the beginning of your relationship (considering your surprise). it was incredibly rare for the two of you to get some precious alone time together, so you vowed to savor every single moment. laying on the couch in your favorite position (with you comfortably sprawled on top of him), a soothing silence enveloped the room, where the sound of your synchronized breathing patterns filled the air.

"'joong," you mumble, almost falling asleep, eyes closed. you shift on top of him and feel something rather peculiar down there. your eyes shot wide open. "'joong?!" you playfully hit his chest and sit up. "ya, i thought we were just chilling!"

"sorry! sorry- i couldn't help it, you were positioned so-" he pauses, staring at you as you urged him to continue with a smile and furrowed brows. "nevermind, nevermind, lay back down. it's chill, i promise."

"no," you suddenly say.

"no???" hongjoong questions. "wh- what do you mean?" he tries to laugh it off.

"i mean no, you said it was my fault. i have to help you," you innocently said and slid off of him, going on your knees on the floor.

"woah, woah, woah, wait- no, y/n, i can't let you do that," hongjoong attempts to pull you back up, but you refuse, your hands rest on his thighs, looking up at him with sparkling eyes, eagerly waiting for him to say yes. it's difficult for hongjoong to say no to that expression, he curses under his breath, throwing his head back and closing his eyes. "ahh, shit." he grumbles. "have you ever even sucked a dick, y/n?" he looks down at you, and you shake your head.

"no," you innocently respond. "but i can learn with you right? it's difficult for me to have a sex life, y'know, with our schedules and all."

"yeah, yeah…" he looks away, hand covering the flush of his cheeks.

"…wait," you suddenly stood up. "is this your way of telling me you've been sucked off before?"

"was that your way of telling me you've never been fucked before?" hongjoong quipped.

"is that your other way of telling me you've fucked someone else before?!" you shot back.

he chuckles, "c'mon, baby, this is a good thing!" he runs his hands up and down your arms, attempting to soothe your annoyance, although he's not quite sure whether you're joking or serious. "i could teach you a thing or two, you know? how does that sound, sweetheart?" he stands up and spins around, gently guiding you to sit on the couch with him. despite your earlier irritation, you can't help but giggle as he showers your face with kisses, eventually kissing your lips and coaxing you to lay down on the couch as the make-out session intensifies. he climbs on top of you, grinding his hips into yours, you whine into his kiss. "you like that?" hongjoong mumbles in between kisses, abruptly pulling away to rid of his clothing, prompting you to get rid of yours.

you were practically drooling over his cock, already waiting for him to trace it to your entrance as he wrapped his hand tightly around himself, but he didn't. instead, he leaned back on the other end of the couch, head thrown back as he pumped himself hard. as much as you were disappointed, you gotta say, what a fucking sight. the kim hongjoong was masturbating in front of you, to you. eager, you leaned forward and wrapped your hands around his hand that pumped his cock, wanting to make his job easier, hongjoong stared at you blankly for a moment, considering what he should let you do, slowly, he guided your hands to wrap around his thick girth, urging you to pump up and down, occassionally squeezing at the tip, watching as his precum escaped.

"fuck," hongjoong cursed under his breath. "ah, shit, shit, wait," he pulled your hands off of him. concerned you might've hurt him or done a bad job, you pulled away and watched as he ran a hand through his hair. "sorry, i was just so close to cumming." he mumbled, covering his face with both hands in shame.

you tilt your head, confused. "that's a good thing, though."

"no, no, i wanna make you cum first, baby…" his hand met your cheek, stroking it gently. "you want my tongue or fingers?"

"mmh, cock…" you mumbled, laying on your back and spreading your legs, showing your pretty, tight hole on fully display for him to use. "i want your cock, hongjoong…"

"fuck," hongjoong cllimbed over you and eagerly placed his tip at your entrance. who the hell was he to say no to his innocent baby? he stuck two fingers inside you, collectine some of your arousal to wrap around his cock as lubrication, "fuck, will you be able to take me?" he slowly pushed his tip inside, already struggling as your poor pussy hole fluttered around him. "baby, i don't think it'll fit-" he almost laughed.

"it'll fit!" you whined, grabbing his bare forearms. "i've fingered myself thinking about this moment many times, baby, it'll fit, make it fit, please, i want this, rip me apart, baby-"

slowly, hongjoong bottomed out inside you. the stretch stinging you — he almost came at your mere words and he didn't want to hear another second of it, so he patiently settled inside you for a moment, letting you get used to the sensation before he couldn't take it anymore. he might accidently cum inside you with the way your tight virgin hole squeezed around his long, fat cock. his pace started off slow, he pulled out at his tip before harshly slamming back inside you. you whined. "j-joong," you blubbered. "not too hard."

"okay, baby, i'm sorry," hongjoong leaned down, placing a kiss on your lips before slamming back inside you, slowly and gently. he set the vanilla pace. fuck, fuck, fuck, he was fucking you so good. you hated the thought that he had done this with other girls, but then again, if he didn't then he probably wouldn't have had the skill to fuck you like this right now.

"aah- faster," you whined and hongjoong complied, wanting nothing but to please you, to make your first time memorable. he thrust harder into you, his cock hitting your sweet spot you never even knew existed. "aah! ahhh~!" you involuntarily whined, you had never felt so good in your life, you never felt this before, the desire to reach your climax and the desire to never want this feeling to end. "i-i'm cumming, 'joong-" you whined as he fucked harder into you, abrupt thrusts, his head rested in the crook of your neck, letting out soft groans, his warm breath against your skin.

"cum for me, baby, that's right," he groaned as you squeezed tightly around him, creaming around his cock. "fuck, fuck, that's right baby…" he whispered, reaching his climax as well and painting your insides whiter than they have ever been.

"mmng…" you moaned, you couldn't get a word out even if you wanted to. too fucked out to form a coherent thought, hongjoong stayed inside of you until he softened. he pulled out, placing a kiss on your lips and nose.

"fuck, you took me so well, baby, you know that?" he made his way to face your pussy and began pushing the cum back inside your small hole. "mmh, your first time, you had a creampie? what a dirty slut you are, hmm?" he whispered, kissing the inside of your thigh before grabbing your discarded panties from the floor and sliding it back up your legs. all you could let out was a helpless whine, hongjoong dressed himself up, climbing into the couch wiht you, cuddling your naked, fucked out form into his fully clothed one. "sleep, baby, i'll clean you up at my dorm tomorrow, m'kay?"

"y'sure..?"

"yes, baby, don't worry."

[fanaticsnail]

Aaaaaa!! I love the pretty bird series so far!!

My mind is running rampant with possibilities I love some miscommunication between species tropes

- I can't remember which type of bird (I think eagle?) but I know a species has a courting practice where they lock talons and dive through the sky before flying again, which I consider pretty romantic

- Avian Mihawk, doing research on human courting methods but his research is outdated bc time is fickle to fae

- Trying to give reader more and more extravagant animals for "dowry" ("three goats? How disgracefully frugal... Are mammoths still considered impressive?")

- Or giving up on human courting methods and grasping at straws thinking that if reader loves animals so much maybe he should try that and hope they recognize something

(Mihawk reading about giraffes:)

- "many female insects will kill their mates after copulation... So back to mammals it is"

- also, reader treating the crow as a diary in which they can dish without fear of judgement bc it's not like it's a human that can judge them (technically true)

- reader, sharing the goss from the market "so now her parents are getting divorced, her boyfriend slash possible biological father skips town, but guess who else conveniently disappears? Her sister!" Mihawk: :V

Mihawk, after he finally wooed (talked to without smelling every two seconds) his One True Mate (the human who was nice to him) into courtship and marriage (a Walk) and they forsake him (call another bird pretty) despite their fated bond (he hasn't revealed he's a bird):

The way I wasn't expecting "Pretty Bird" to become a series, but it's now just becoming such fun to think about.

Locking talons and diving, my heart 🫠.

Mihawk researching ancient courting rituals for humans and not interpreting the correct methods will never not be funny -> BUT, what if our reader accidentally initiates avarial courtship and shows her pretty bird a dress that she hasn't worn in a while, enjoying how the skirt twirls and fans outwards while she spins. Our Pretty Bird just going: "My human wants me. My mate desires me. This is my moment, my time has come. Even now, she dances for me."

Treating Pretty Bird as a diary, offering him trinkets and treats for listening to her woes. "The lord of high keep has invited me to work his field and establish his grounds for flowers. How do I tell him he scares me when he watches? How do I tell him his presence both enchants me and terrifies me. Oh, pretty bird, you're the only one who understands me." I can't, this is just too funny.

We all know Mihawk in all forms is a gossip-loving goth.

I just need to see how far I want to lean into the more animal-like instincts for him. He'd be so cute preening and grooming while his expression is stone-faced and cold. The duality of the man.

Also, I have missed you Snail! I hope life is treating you well, love!

[attichaos]

Rune Meanings

These are a few keywords and themes for rune symbols along with their modern alphabet equivalents.

*longer read*

Ansuz - Message, A

God, Ancestors, Revelation, Signs, Visions, Insight, Message, Knowledge, Communication

Berkana - Birch, B

Earth Mother, Birth, Fertility, Growth, Renewal, New beginnings, Creation, New projects, Creativity

Kaunaz - Torch, C/K/Q

Fire, Knowledge, Enlightenment, Comprehension, Insight, Illumination, Calling, Purpose, Idea

Dagaz - Dawn, D

Intuition, Light Within, Day, Awakening, Consciousness, Clarity, Hope, Balance, Growth, New cycles

Ehwaz - Horse, E

Twin Gods, Relationships, Progress, Movement, Harmony, Trust, Loyalty, Friendship, Assistance, Duality, Animal instincts

Fehu - Wealth, F

Wealth, Mother Rune, Abundance, Luck, Hope, Prosperity, Fortune

Gebo - Gift, G

Divine Interaction, Generosity, Partnership, Gifts, Talents, Charity, Service, Assistance, Luck, Fortune

Hagalaz - Hail (as in the type of weather), H

Transformation, Egg of Life, Destruction, Natural wrath, Uncontrolled forces, Testing, Change, External input

Isa - Ice, I

Cosmic Coherence, Suspension, Delay, Stillness, Frustration, Blocks, Pause, Waiting

Jera - Harvest, J

Earth, Right Action, Year, conclusion, Life cycle, Endings and beginnings, Abundance, Learnings, Growth

Laguz - Lake, L

Fertilty, Living Renewal, Water, Intuition, Imagination, Healing, Dreams, Mysteries, Insight, Instinct, Knowing

Mannaz - Man, M

Divine Union Manifestation, Humanity, Collective, Mortality, Community, Relationships, Morals, Values

Nauthiz - Neccesity, N

Needs, Friction, Shadow, Restriction, Disagreements, Resistance, Survival, Lacking

Othila - Heritage, O

Genetics, Legacy, inheritance, Spiritual growth, Abundance, Values, Contribution

Peorth - Destiny, P

Divination, Luck, Primal law, Fate, Mysteries, Occult, Feminine fertility, Chance, Fortune, Mysticism, Unknown

Raido - Journey, R

Solar Chariot, Rhythm, Progress, Movement, Evolution, Perspective, Journey, Travel

Sowulo - Sun, S

Thunderbolt, Wheel of Power, Success, Vitality, Inspiration, Justice, Success, Joy, Happiness, Abundance

Teiwaz - Victory, T

Masculine Gods, Warrior Rune, Leadership, Rationality, Honour, Bravery, Courage, Strength, Perseverance, Endurance

Uruz - Power, U

Primal Creative Force, Gateway, Strength, Endurance, Health, Courage, Vigour, Vitality, Force, Perseverance

Wunjo - Joy, V/W

Kinship, Heritage, Joy, Pleasure, Feast, Celebration, Comfort, Belonging, Community, Success, Festivities

Thurisaz - Thor, X, th

Protection, Polarity, Regeneration, Defence, Challenge, Danger, Attack, Strength

Eiwaz - Yew, Y

Tree of Life, Dreaming, Magic, Connection, Inspiration, Endurance, Sacred knowledge, Protection, Life cycles, Divinity

Algiz - Elk, Z

Divine Protection, Sanctuary, Protection, Guardian, Awakening, Courage, Defence, Instincts

Inguz - Fertility, NG

True Love, Music, Harmony, Fertility, Virility, Inner growth, Virtue, Peace, Harmony

Merry meet,

Atti <3

[igotanidea]

Masterlist

At this point I write for:

I. THE SANDMAN

The Raven's daughter

part 1 : The fateful meating.

part 2: From the Waking...

part 3: ... into the Dreaming.

part 4: A tour of the castle.

part 5: Questions.

part 6: A hell of a day.

(sneak peak) of part 7

part 7 : A kickass party

part 8 : Late night talking

part 9 : Past, present, future

Part 10 : Escapism Part 11 : Hob

The counterparts

Prologue

Chapter 1 : sometimes reality sucks

Chapter 2 :Welcome back to reality

Chapter 3: A rough nightmare

Chapter 4 : crumbling

Chapter 5: Falling to pieces

Chapter 6: Reunited

Chapter 7: Remedies

Chapter 8 : The Fates

Chapter 9 : On the verge

Chapter 10: Opposing sides

Chapter 11 : Hell is a place you believe in

One-shots (and two-shots tbh)

Morpheus reading his fanfiction: part 1,part 2

Morpheus lover being a vortex: part 1, part 2

Just an apple : a fruit engagement

Eight letters

The Sandman incorrect quotes: part 1, part 2

Comfort

Morpheus lover being on her period

Mutually beneficial : sneak peak,full story

Stranger in the Library

Take a hint

Kupala night: Morpheus x slav!reader

Night shift

Be careful who you bring home

Be careful who you bring home pt 2

Side effects

The perks of injuries

Devilish invention

Over the top

Sleep paralysys demon Get ready for the show: Dream x reader x Corinthian x Hob Endless glorious purpose: Morpheus x Loki

II. SWEETBITTER

Gritty:

sneak peak of chapter 1chapter 1 : Welcome to New York

sneak peak of chapter 2

chapter 2 : If we ever meet again.

Chpater 3: Bruises.

sneak peak of chapter 4

chapter 4 : Get out of my life

sneak peek of chapter 5

III. MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE:

SHADOW : Marvel OC

Prologue

sneak peak of chapter 1

ONE SHOTS

Daredevil incorrect quotes

Marvel incorrect quotes

Marvel incorrect quotes pt 2

Conflict of interests: Matt Murdock x reader

Clingy: Matt Murdock x reader

Here and now: Matt Murdock x OC

Hello devil : Matt Murdock x reader

Workaholic insomniacs:Matt Murdock x reader

Mind the words : Matt Murdock x reader

Torn : Matt Murdock x reader

Not enough: Murdock x Reader x Barnes sneak peak

Secret: Bucky Barnes x f!Reader

25th hour : tasm!peter parker x workaholic!reader

"trick or treat"ing with Marvel characters

IV. DC UNIVERSE

Cheshire!verse : Jason Todd x reader

Five years later:

Cheshire cat

Than damn gala

Toxic : Dick Grayson x reader

part 1

part 2

ONE SHOTS

Instincts : Dick grayson x reader

Workout : Dick Grayson x reader

Walls: Dick Grayson x reader

Duality: Dick Grayson x reader

Lost: Jason Todd x reader

Jealousy : Gar Logan x f!reader x Conner Kent

Quiet: Dick Grayson x f!reader

I won't hurt you : Dick Grayson x reader

Babystitting: Dick Grayson x reader

V. HARRY POTTER

ONE SHOTS:

Common ground : George Weasley x reader

VI. THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY

ONE SHOTS

umbrella academy incorrect quotes pt.1

umbrella academy incorrect quotes pt 2

"trick or treat"ing with the umbrellas

We're all broken here: five hargreeves x sis!reader

VII. WEDNESDAY

ONE SHOTS

safe space: Xavier Thorpe x fem!reader Bubble : Ajax Petropolus x fem!reader Who's the monster now? : Tyler Galpin x fem!reader Cemented: Ajax Petropolus x reader Rumor has it: Xavier Thorpe x reader Consolation: Enid Sinclair x reader

Feel free to request anything, also beyond those fandoms. I always appreciate a good idea.

[scriptospark]

The duality of "character who knows too much, and is perfectly calm about the outcome" versus "character who knows too much, but is completely unhinged and trying to break the shackles of fate" feels very Kafka v Sparkle to me. Both are completely unhinged in entirely different ways and I'm gonna need to write a 40 paragraph essay about this in the future. Kafka has SO many thoughts about her, they all sound negative, but honestly she's absolutely fascinated with the Fools. They're so entertaining, she can't look away. No matter how much Elio wants her to. She can and WILL let them play their games, just to see how it all turns out.

[temporalreverie]

ponysona ref sheet :3

[text transcript: Carrie Go-Round, or Carrie for short It/She, Trans Mare, Lesbian Can prance through air with its saddle on. Gives carousel sky-rides to help others. It likes going around again, solving puzzles, helping with problems, music, good fortune, and going around again. Beholden to the whims of its fate & cycles, it tries its best to be carefree but secretly feels aimless at times.]

Extended character bio & art process thoughts below the cut v

Carrie Go-Round is a unicorn with carousel themed magic. Carousel magic works in mysterious ways. It can direct the magic somewhat and hone certain patterns through repetition, but it’s ultimately at the whims of the fate chosen for it. Usually everything works out just fine though.

While actively using its carousel magic and wearing its saddle, it can prance on top of air. It takes others on rides through the sky using this, giving them time and space to think through a problem they’ve been having. These rides can involve a conversation, a magical spectacle of lights and music, or simply peace and quiet, whatever will help the other pony best. Flying, putting on light shows, and making music are all come naturally when the magic is in service of another.

Carrie has adapted an outwardly carefree and playful nature. It’s partially its true self, and partially a defense mechanism in response to the lack of control that the carousel makes it feel. When you’re stuck going around in one big circle, it’s easy to feel aimless and confused. Helping someone else with a problem of theirs always makes it feel better though. It's also fond of rhymes, puzzles, and riddles.

It’s somewhat taller than average. Not very strong, but when its magic is active any passengers feel light as a feather. Both the color and shape of its hair is all natural.

—

Art process thoughts:

An idea for a ponysona design popped into my head the other day and I'm really happy with how it turned out! Multiple times I've played with designing a ponysona by taking more grounded and literal elements of myself but none of those struck me as exciting or fun. Being freely indulgent and overdesigning a pastel magic horse is way better.

In terms of the drawing itself, this is probably the closest you'll ever see me mimic the G4 artstyle! I referenced a couple screenshots of pinkie to get an idea for scale, and then I cut apart my rough sketch into chunks so I could stretch out the neck & back because I like when the bodies are longer than proportions on the show. This also doubles as making its tallness present in the art but really I would've done that regardless.

The carousel concept is a fun way to tie in the colorful aesthetics with themes of cycles and fate. Girls love to be stuck in a loop of mayyyybe their own choosing. And it also means I get to bring back the saddle & bridle fashion concept Lauren Faust considered for the show's pitch bible. It's definitely kind of weird but in a fun way.

Carrie Go-Round like Merry-go-round but also like Carrie short for Carousel but also like Carry because she physically carries other ponies & helps lift them emotionally. Do you get it.

This is my first time adding ALT text to my images; I did my best to be thorough but not too verbose.

Miscellaneous design thoughts: I love pink and green together! IRL horse coat patterns are so so cute I wish more MLP characters had them. Plus the bubbly shapes on the hooves match her cloud prancing. Duality is everything to me: two different shapes and colors of hair, two symbols on its cutie mark, two little eyelashes. Although I tried less to make it look like me, its hair still has the same general shape (however mine will only rarely form curls like that all on its own). Also the cutie mark arrows being green is a slightly inspired by a real dream I had about getting my cutie mark:

I've been meaning to make a ponysona for a long time now. All in all this was very fun to do and now I'm excited to draw more of my own OCs and their interactions.

[publicabsent]

𝐌𝐀𝐉𝐎𝐑 𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐀 𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒.

bold what applies, italicize what sometimes applies. repost, don't reblog!

oo. the fool: spontaneity, optimism, follow your bliss, explore the unknown, live in the moment, be spontaneous, trusting in the universe, fearlessness, innocence, open-mindedness, take risks, believe in possibilities, recklessness, irresponsibility

i. the magician: willpower, resourcefulness, power, manipulate, master your craft, practical knowledge, charisma, dexterity, problem-solving, innovation, belief in one's abilities, trickery, superficiality, arrogance, misuse of power, overconfidence

ii. the high priestess: wisdom, secrets, spirituality, listen to your intuition, connect with your spirituality, embrace silence, delving into mysteries, book of secrets, crystal ball, veil, pomegranate, river, labyrinth, meditation, spiritual insight, indecision

iii. the empress: beauty, luxury, blossom, celebrate life's pleasures, experiencing sensual pleasures, crown, garden, fruits, flowers, jewelry, artistic talent, belief in the importance of comfort, dependence, smothering, possessiveness, extravagance

iv. the emperor: leadership, discipline, ambition, organization, set clear boundaries, take decisive action, armor, shield, fortress, eagle, sword, authority, strategy, belief in authority, inflexibility, controlling behavior, stubbornness, domination, impatience

v. the hierophant: conformity, mentor, preach, honor tradition & ritual, uphold moral values, religious scriptures, temple, altar, incense, wisdom-sharing, faith in institutions, belief in community, resistance to change, narrow-mindedness

vi. the lovers: duality, love, desire, choose with your heart, celebrate intimacy, emotional knowledge, wedding rings, two trees entwined, dove, sunset, rose, empathy, belief in soul connections, codependency, over-emotionalism, fickleness

vii. the chariot: determination, ambition, overcoming obstacles, drive towards success, assert your willpower, staying focused on goals, victory wreath, road, perseverance, focus, leadership under pressure, over-controlling, rash decisions

viii. justice: accountability, advocate, seek fairness & truth, advocate for equality, accept accountability, weigh options carefully, resolving disputes, blindfold, books, objectivity, integrity, truth-seeking, ethical decision-making, moral clarity

ix. the hermit: isolate, contemplate life's mysteries, find wisdom in silence, discover inner peace, withdrawing from society, cave, snow-capped peak, wise old tree, journal, self-awareness, reflection, independence, loneliness, escapism, secrecy

x. wheel of fortune: evolve, transform, adapt, trust in destiny's plan, adapt to unexpected twists, dice, pendulum, opportunity recognition, flexibility, change management, belief in fate, impulsive behavior, over-confidence

xi. strength: resilience, self-control, empowerment, overcome adversity with grace, stand firm in your beliefs, find courage in difficult times, showing compassion, taming impulses, oak tree, patience, bravery, physical strength

xii. the hanged man: transform, accept delays gracefully, let go of control, sacrifice for greater good, halo, acceptance, non-conformity, belief in seeing things from a different perspective, passivity, feeling stuck, self-pity, victim mentality

xiii. death: face inevitable changes, surrender to endings, embrace the unknown, embracing rebirth, releasing the past, facing mortality, feeling trapped, phoenix, acceptance of change, closure, belief in the inevitability of transformation

xiv. temperance: patience, healing, compromise, calm, seek inner tranquility, flow with ease, practicing moderation, water, river, rainbow, moderation, diplomacy, peace-making, emotional stability, belief in finding middle ground, over-indulgence

xv. the devil: addiction, materialism, temptation, ego, fear, unhealthy attachments, dominate, corrupt, ensnare, obsess, embrace your desires, confront inner demons, mask, whip, flames, shadow, money bag, awareness of desires, manipulation

xvi. the tower: liberation, chaos, face upheaval with courage, crumble outdated structures, confront chaos head-on, embody radical transformation, broken chains, shattered crown, lightning bolt, crisis management, liberation from oppression

xvii. the star: spirituality, embrace hope & inspiration, follow your dreams, radiate positivity, believe in miracles, trust in a brighter future, feeling inspired, calm sea, belief in hope, escapism, detachment from reality, over-reliance on hope

xviii. the moon: reflect, trust your instincts, surrender to the unknown, navigating uncertainty, wolf, dream catcher, night sky, imagination, emotional depth, belief in dreams, confusion, paranoia, fear, insecurity, nightmares, delusion

xix. the sun: warmth, positivity, bask in joy & vitality, embrace success & happiness, celebrate life's blessings, feel alive with energy, embody childlike innocence, child, sunflowers, crown of flowers, belief in the power of optimism

xx. judgement: absolve, reflect on past actions, embrace personal transformation, seek redemption & forgiveness, self-evaluation, self-doubt, fear of judgment, avoidance, inability to forgive, self-condemnation

xxi. the world: achievement, expand your horizons, reach your highest potential, feeling fulfilled, dancing, global awareness, belief in unity, unfinished business, disconnection, stagnation, lack of integration, fear of change, narrow perspective

[cyberpawn-arc]

🃏!!

send me  ‘🃏 !’  and i’ll write you a starter using a tarot card as the inspiration ! The Two of Cups represents partnership, complementary, and duality

"When I was a kid, I didn't think fate was a thing! I thought it was mumbo-jumbo and a lot of make believe that wasn't fun! Fate didn't exist because I made all of the choices and yada-yada, whatever! I had all the answers at five, but at twenty-two? Oh, I am killin' it in the fate department!"

They were also killing it in the department of running from the cops and making friends at the same time! Grabbing their new choom's arm, Vale pointed ahead down the alleyway where there was a dumpster and a nice stack of crates! Perfect for climbing!

"Okay, you gotta trust me here, we're making a rooftop run! The pigs are too lazy to chase us up there! Welcome to being an accessory in my crimes, I'm V, how's your day goin'?!"

[arthur-rex]

thelonewendwater + artorius

Starter for @thelonewendwater​

3rd thread now in the unofficial artorius x mariela trilogy, haha 

The Druids break camp early in the morning, just as the first of the winter’s snow begins to fall softly from the heavens above. 

The men, women and children cover their heads with thick woven shawls, aware of the power of the elements in a way Artorius and Mariela could not be. A noble upbringing meant roaring fires in hearths, and servants to ensure their chambers were kept warm. The rough life of the wandering people of the Old Ways is unfamiliar to them.

The same elderly lady who Artorius had helped earlier with her food cart approaches the man, providing the couple with scarves of their own. Spun herself, for her children long perished in the Purges. Artorius accepts his shawl hesitantly, feeling a deep sense of guilt festering within. His fingers tremble as he holds onto the rough woollen fabric. Perhaps he’d held the lady’s children thus, in the dungeons of his past, breaking the bones of their hands under orders of the King. For torture loosened tongues, and the knights were able to locate more of a persecuted people following such barbaric practices. 

Once upon a time, Artorius did everything in his power to hunt down the people who now offer him sanctuary.

He looks over to his wife-to-be, banishing the demons in his mind with a small smile. Wrapping her shawl around her neck, and over her waves of cascading brown hair, the former prince leans in, kissing her gently. 

“Well, you do make for a stunning druid woman. I am honoured to have you by my side.”

Smiling at her response, he takes her hand, shifting the weight of a carrycase of tent poles and fabric upon his back.

Thankfully, Harmonia and her assorted female friends are nowhere to be seen. Since the Catha himself had now declared them to be wed, perhaps the nymphs had given up on their seduction of the exiled Pendragon? Artorius certainly hopes so. It may be he still needs to earn the respect of these people, but the Catha’s word seemed binding on the people, and Harmonia, daughter of Cadmus would not dare go openly against the words of the elders.

The months pass. 

The druids continue to travel on, across field and stream and woodland, as the green landscape slowly turns into one of white snow and sky. At night, as they lie together, cuddled in their tent, Artorius is sure he can hear the mournful howls of the wolves, returning from the north where it is even colder still.

Uther’s raids grow more frequent, as the length of time of Artorius’ self-imposed exile grows. The magic of the druids helps conceal the camp, and Artorius is instructed to defend the women and children, should the knights break past the first line of defence. Thankfully, true bloodshed is rare. Arthur is leading the raids now, and his twin does not have the same ruthless bent on eradicating the magical community as Artorius once had. 

Arthur’s heart simply isn’t in it, and it shows.

Artorius is just glad he ends up not having to reveal himself to his twin, nor cross blades with his brother. He is not sure if he could handle such a confrontation. Not knowing all he does now, not wishing to place more burdens on his abandoned brother’s shoulders.

I will return one day. I will help you make things right. Artorius vows silently, reaching into his shirt and drawing forth the little wooden bear connected to a necklace of twined leather. He touches the head of the carved statue against his lips, thinking on the burden of duty that Arthur must now be facing. One of the druid men had shown the exiled prince how to make such craft during the evenings around the fire, and Artorius had made a new friend. Adrien, was his name.

Samheim comes and goes. Mariela and Artorius sit together around the bonfire, listening to the stories, to the chanting and blessing of the druids as they celebrate the time-honoured festival. The idea of ghosts returning to the land of the living, even for one day, sticks fast in Artorius’ mind. At one point during the celebrations, he turns and looks at Mariela, stroking her palm lightly. Wondering if she too thought of her mother, lost to her at a tender age.

As the days shorten, and the snow begins to fall in earnest, talk of the Winter Solstice and the arrival of the travellers at the Great Stones of Nemeton gathers apace. Even the icy wind cannot hold back the enthusiasm of the children, who always seemed to grow excited around this time of the year - the crackling fire of the Yule log, the exchange of mistletoe, the giving of sweets and good wishes amongst family and friends.

There is even talk of a wedding to be held too. The promised union of Artorius Pendragon and Mariela Wendwater would accompany the festivities in the shadow of the sacred standing stones. The hope of light in the darkness, and the shift of the seasons would be epitomised in the formal recognition of their love.

[shinymoonbird]

Dispute about fate and free will arise only for those who do not discern the ego as the root of them both, but if one knows the reality of the ego, one will thereby discard them.

Sri Ramana Maharshi - Ulladu Narpadu - Reality In Forty Verses, V.19  

https://shinymoonbird.tumblr.com/search/Ulladu%20Narpadu

[voidcat]

— steal a breath (from the world, for a minute)

characters: dazai osamu, you

wc: 1.7k

a/n: say hello to the fic i began months ago and finished yesterday during a game of bowling bc the v thought of him made me wanna cry,, in like,, a positive way (i guess) enjoy the quote trivia. translations of the lyrics by maneskin and zemfira are included at the end.

The suspicion that there is more to Dazai was a common one shared by many since day one.

And it was a fateful night, if you could ever call it that, that you’ve seen the truth to it:

That Dazai Osamu is a man of duality, several characteristics and a thousand masks.

And it’s all just a mere coincidence which leads you to that.

A sunset by the hill, the silent clink of the glasses and the likes fill the air. There is little to no one around, there is always so little people.

All that cheery side to him, the jokester and the big flirt is gone, all that remains is a silent sullen man sipping on his drink with empty eyes barely on the sky.

You would know, because you carry the same look too.

Search for something, anything, to let your eyes linger and fixate; a desperate search to ignore the loud voices inside your head, until you’ve forgotten it all. The noise nothing but a silent print in the background as the setting sun is in motion, eyes on the void, staring into a spot– a space, that doesn’t exist between you and the sky.

One time is something that happens, second is a coincidence.

The third time however, there is a second person speaking tonight.

An unspoken deal between the two, nothing discussed, the both of you come and go.

Some nights he is here and you’re sure he has had nights without you there. Nevertheless, those white nights without a passive company are far, few and between now.

The two of you make it work somehow.

A field of clouds in the distance and Dazai laughs at something quietly.

Almost everything he does here feels quiet when you think about it. You find yourself liking this version of him better.

No scheming, barely a sight of that up to no good smirk, even his shoulders seem more relaxed than usual.

There is a serenity to him under the dim lights of the setting sun.

There are no worries in sight, no pressing reality heavy on the shoulders. In this moment, it’s just you, and sometimes him, inside a bubble with the sun, the sky, the clouds and the emerging stars as time stops in place, allowing you all an opening to take a breath.

Words hang in the air occasionally and the wind sweeps them away instantly.

There are no confessions made, words possess no meaning within them. There is just melodious noise hanging in the air, forgotten as soon as spoken.

“Three o’clock. Three o’clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.” You blurt out with a knowing smile, index finger standing tall.

It fits the moment shared– time off for one and slacking off on the other party’s part. Dazai, never found around at convenient work hours, agrees so in a manner of‘see?’ as if he is displaying you as some sort of proof to Kunikida.

It’s not clear how it starts or with which line first, yet it evolves into a part of this unspoken routine. It’s just a bonus that the drinks go hand in hand with the quotes.

Unlike you, Dazai prefers to use himself as source material; and you, ever so closed off, settling with the quotes from various mediums, never offering him a clear glance at your perspective.

And just like that, words begin to hold meanings— mostly their intended meanings, and some of your own, having gained a new meaning with your minds combined and tongues sparring.

Dazai raises his glass, “I shall be nothing, the wind, the sky.” he claims as if giving a toast.

You can sense there is more to it than that, pieces to complete this sentence, something missing from the beginning- You decide not to pry.

“My existence began to worry me seriously. Was I not a simple spectre?” You say in reply and he hums in agreement, nodding, foggy eyes closed as he does so. Bringing the glass to his lips, only to find out the drink has long been consumed. He attempts to reach out to yours, but you grab the glass before his fingers can come close.

Days pass, months change. It snows, it rains, the sun rises, the clouds hide it behind.

The moon shines yet no one sees its light.

“E Coraline piange. Coraline ha l'ansia. Coraline vuole il mare ma ha paura dell’acqua. E forse il mare è dentro di lei” is rather troubling to say but rolls off the tongue easily when you sang.

Dazai says nothing, he doesn’t ask for a translation of it. Cultured prick, you scoff but there is no poison laced with your inner voice.

You guess he doesn’t make any comment on the excerpt for the same reason these nights stay between the two of you. The same reason the meanings of these words cease to exist, the memories erased from your minds until you step foot here again for the next evening.

It is more convenient that way. It offers an escape from everything else.

“How come you only ever quote others?” Dazai disturbs one day.

You can hear something break in the air.

He is not supposed to ask this, or say anything like that.

It feels out of script, the routine broken down and the pages torn apart.

This is what Dazai does best, you shouldn’t be so surprised.

Outside the bubble, time is passing; a bird flies by, a crow you assume. The sun is slowly setting in motion, sinking each second, each minute, and each breath taken and let out.

Outside the tiny bubble you’re trapped in, the world is moving on. It always does. There is no need to wait for anyone, anything, it goes and moves on, rotates and tours around.

Time seems to have stopped for you but no one else needs to care about it, why should they?

Eyes set on you, Dazai waits for an answer. Above the clouds, the city, life and problems, vast in the sky and untouchable; he knows he has you cornered.

The wind blows and reshapes some of the clouds away.

Another bird flies by and lets out a shriek.

Hand reaching out to your glass, you bring it to your lips. “Maybe I will tell you a line or two of mine some day.”

The little smile is a mask, one of the thinnest you have put on to this date, placed in a hurry, the knot isn’t tight enough. There is no way he didn’t see right through it but he leaves it at that.

For how long has Dazai been capable of mercy?

On the discarded table out of the eye, an old radio nearby plays for itself. The songs are never the same thing again.

“More obnimet, zakopaet v peski. Zakinut rybolovy leski. Poymayut v seti nashi dushi.” comes out of the tiny box, and in that moment it doesn’t matter whether people know the language or not.

The meaning behind roams around the neck and sits on the shoulders.

Every gathering ends a little later than the previous time. Every walking the other to their car goes a little further, one extra step, then another.

Some days it’s on foot instead of wheels, it’s refreshing to take in the sharp spring air.

With the quietest of actions being the loudest, there is something about it, about the secrecy, the privacy, the gatekeeping of each other’s inner thoughts.

Dazai decides to take it upon himself to walk you home, no matter the location.

The others ignore how the two of you have evolved.

It’s almost second nature at this point to nudge him with your elbow. “What’s in your mind now?”

And Dazai, always looking for the tiniest opportunity to procrastinate, drops whatever work he was supposed to be doing two days ago and spins in his chair.

“Here’s a penny for your thoughts,” pushing himself away from the desk, he faces you fully. “Last year nothing happened. The year before nothing happened. And the year before that nothing happened.”

Bringing your hand to your chin, you nod thoughtfully, eyes closed, with an expression on your face to match his smug mask. Joining in on you with the nodding, the two of you break into laughter at one point, unsure whether it was loud enough to be heard from the president’s office, or so quiet, not even Atsushi’s ear twitched.

An open umbrella on sunny, spotless days and trying to get under your trusty umbrella when the sky is pouring down like hell.

The sigh waits on the tip of your tongue, waiting to be let out.

Inserting the key to the lock, you turn it once, twice, hear the faint click and wait still, without moving a single muscle, eyes focused on your left.

Maybe it’s his lack of whining or pout, asking to be let in that should worry you about the measurements of your relationship.

Few months ago he’d at least try and ask, another few months back, you weren’t even talking back then.

Perhaps the reason is he knows you’ve let him already, opened that door and allowed him in.

You’re not sure if he mumbles a soft ‘I can stay on the couch.’ or if you can hear him before he speaks.

And the two of you know that is a lie.

Waiting for a response, and not, Dazai already has his arms around you, again, since when have the quiet nights gotten warmer and warmer, clinging onto one another?

And your brain tries its best to busy itself to formulate an answer, an excuse. Yet Dazai’s face a lot closer to you, and his body feeling more like a home in the cold night as you can feel your back get warmer and warmer; you cannot tell if it’s his breathing or if he is kissing, that tickles your neck, near the crook of it, that you know he knows is sensitive.

The hand stays still on the key, ice more and more growing on it, blooming, spreading. And another hand disappears, sneaks around and covers your vacant one.

Translations:

-> "And Coraline cries. Coraline is anxious. Coraline wants the sea but she’s afraid of the water. And maybe sea is inside her." (coraline by maneskin)

-> "Sea will embrace. Fishers will cast their threads. And catch our souls into their nets." (prosti menya moya lyubov' (forgive me, my love) by zemfira)

[acatalystrising]

It’s hard to believe we’re here, but now that I’ve wrapped up the final chapter of The Duality of Us, I am so thankful for those of you who have come along for the ride! This story is so special to me, and I wanted it to end spectacularly. I will note that the lovely piece from @love-like-poetry 1000% added inspiration to this chapter, so thank you so much for your amazing work! I have many more stories planned, but I hope you enjoy!

The Duality of Us

Pairing: Boba Fett x (F)Reader

Rating: Explicit 18+

Trigger warnings: confrontation with abuser, mentions of slavery/abuse, lots of fluff, and smut: (oral, m and f receiving, p/v sex, unprotected sex (this is fiction, wrap it up!) - no minors please!) let me know if I’m missing anything!

Series synopsis: You’d merely been in the wrong place at the wrong time, desperately trying to save your sick mother. But fate is a funny thing - after being rescued by a mysterious stranger, your life turns upside down, and nothing will ever be the same.

Chapter Eight: Of Ends and Beginnings

The day your father was summoned to the palace, you weren’t certain he’d recognize you.

The girl you’d been had died. The slave you were forced to become had been lovingly coaxed back to life. Now - you were someone different. Someone new. Someone deadly.

You hair was growing back, reclaiming it’s shine - as well as your identity. You still felt that you were too skinny, but Fennec never relented to feed you as much as you could possibly stomach, nor did Boba fail to comment how beautiful he thought you were. You did fit surprisingly well in the simply elegant dress he had purchased you, and you had a feeling that Fennec had helped him there, too. It was fancier then anything you’d ever owned - a rich silken purple that shifted to deep burgundy when the light hit it just right. It rested off the shoulders, accentuating your form, picked to clothe you like the princess he’d often call you.

But it made you feel like a queen.

You neared the throne room’s open doors, soft sandals cushioning your steps, heart pounding in your ears. You weren’t afraid, no - but you were nervous. This was the first time you’d worn something he’d chosen for you, and you didn’t want to disappoint. Perhaps you should have waited until you’d regained more weight, more color, more…everything.

But the moment you stepped into the room and caught Boba’s gaze, you wondered why you’d been anxious in the first place.

You could have sworn you saw his lips part ever so slightly as he leaned forward in his throne - but his eyes didn’t mask the look of pure admiration that flooded his face. You smiled, cheeks flaring, as you walked across the space toward his throne. He stood, armor gleaming in the firelight - walking down the steps with a knowing smirk, extending a gloved hand to you.

“Mesh’la, you look ravishing.” A hungry darkness flickered in his gaze, but he remained ever the gentleman, leading you back up to the throne with gentle grace. “How am I supposed to focus on business when you look like that?”

“Then make it quick.” You dared to shoot him a challenging smirk, and he only chuckled, the sound rumbling through your chest like an earthquake.

“Giving orders, are we, princess?” He curled his arm around your waist, pulling you close to his beskar-clad chest; lips inches from your own as he looked down at you with his hooded gaze.

His hand on your waist brushed up to the back of your head and through your hair - his free hand lifting to caress your cheek even as heat flared across your face. When he spoke again, his tone was lower, deadly and dripping with desire.

“Once I’ve dealt with your father, little one, it’ll be your turn. I think yours will be the more favorable outcome.”

You couldn’t ignore the heat that flared between your legs. He’d been patient - letting you heal. Stealing kisses and bringing you pleasure with his nimble fingers and skilled tongue as your wounds mended and strength returned; but never pushing you beyond what your body could handle. You could tell he was terrified of hurting you…but you wanted more, as did he.

“You think?” You flicked a brow up in challenge as you leaned closer, feeling feisty in your dress bought with his money. His adoration. Only for you. “I look forward to that, love.”

Footsteps echoed down the hall, and you both reluctantly pulled away.

“You tell me if it gets to be too much. If you feel unsafe.” He sat, firm and resolute as he so easily shifted from lover to king. “And I’ll cut it off. I’d rather not kill him, but if he threatens you…you may have to stop me.”

“Okay.” You offered him another smile and took a seat on the throne’s arm, watching as he donned his helmet.

You reminded yourself to be confident. Commanding. Unafraid. Fennec slipped in the room, gun in hand, and leaned against the throne’s opposite arm. She glanced at you, gauging your nervousness, and gave you a small wink.

“He tried to make a run for it,” she leaned back with a bored sigh, taking a swig of spotchka with a roll of her eyes. “I persuaded him otherwise. You’re welcome.”

You nodded, unease twisting in your gut - spiking even higher so when the droid announced your father’s approach.

When he stepped inside the room, you frowned. You didn’t remember him being so frail. This had been your abuser for years…and now he stood before Boba’s throne, fear clearly etched on his bearded face - he’d never looked so small.

“You have a lot of explaining to do.” Boba’s voice was harsh, filtering through his vocorder with weighted finality, skipping all formalities. “Styssk claimed you’ve served him for years. Tell me, what benefits did it bring?”

Your father blinked, lips parting, but no words emerged. You watched, fear borne from years of abuse slowly dissolving, as you realized that he was no longer a threat. Whatever teeth or claws he once had we’re gone. Perhaps he’d never had them begin with - especially now that you’d found yours.

“I did…what I had to do to provide for my family.” His tone was defensive when he finally spoke, eyes still wide and bugging - resembling an animal that knew it was trapped and couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

“Your family.” Boba echoed his words, tone dripping with disgust he didn’t bother hiding. He was too direct for that. “You call enslaving your own daughter provision?”

He sat higher, and if his immense prescience hadn’t already filled the room, you wagered it did so now. His tone was cold - cutting. He’d once again shifted to the merciless bounty hunter turned Daimyo, and this time, it was to protect you. You father looked at his feet, fight gone. You saw the regret flashing through his eyes, but it didn’t twist your heart the way it once would have. He was still playing the victim, and you both knew it.

“If you weren’t her father, I’d have already killed you.” Boba nearly growled the words, helmet tilting forward slightly. “So I’m gonna offer you a deal that you’d best accept.”

Your father visibly gulped, sweat beading on his forehead even as his gaze shifted from Boba to you. His eyes widened as of heading noticed you until just then, and your name whispered from his thin lips.

“You…you’re alive…” tears sprang to his eyes, and he took a step forward. Fennec shifted, lazily angling her weapon toward him, and he stopped. “I never meant for any of this, please believe me! I love you…”

“If you truly loved me, you never would have hurt me. If you cared, you wouldn’t have done what you did. I begged - pleaded for your help. And you turned away.” Your jaw quivered with every word, hands curling into fists. You wiped away the tear that welled in the corner of your eye. “But…I am thankful for one thing.”

He watched you with empty desperation, anger and fear warring in his eyes. You held his gaze evenly, tone neutral.

“You sent me here, knowing very well that I could have gotten hurt. Or worse. But it was that alone that changed my life and brought me happiness.” You took a deep breath, and Boba’s arm shifted, ever so softly brushing against your thigh to ground you. “So for that, I thank you.”

Silence fell, weighed, nearly suffocating your lungs as Boba shifted forward, beskar plates sliding effortlessly with his movement.

“My deal is simple. Pack your shop and leave town. Unless she speaks to you of her own free choice, there will be no contact.” He leveled a dark glare at your father that you swore could be felt through that T-visored helm.

Your heart both twisted and sang with relief - you had discussed what outcome you wanted in great depth, and he’d remembered every wish you’d made.

“You…you can’t…” your father stuttered, face paling, scrawny fingers balling into fists. “That shop is my livelihood! She’s MY daughter! Who are you to tell me what to do?”

Boba stood, silent as the grave - and you fell still as he descended the steps. Your father flinched, stepping back, fear flooding his gaze as Boba stopped before him - voice low like thunder.

“As you may recall, I am the Daimyo. The Daimyo you sent your daughter to, whom you believed to be expendable. We both discussed the matters of this agreement.” His helmet turned toward you before looking back at him, stance commanding and resolute. “I’m giving you three days. Three days to pack up and leave. If you’re not gone by then, I will come for you, and there will be no mercy.”

Your father didn’t shout or scream. He simply turned toward you, collapsing on his knees.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please have mercy!” His wild gaze was locked on you, not Boba, tears trailing down his cheeks. “I’ll do anything! Anything!”

“Dad…this is mercy.” You swallowed hard, gripping the throne’s armrest for support as you met his pleading gaze. “More mercy then you extended to me…but I won’t be like you. I refuse. You can still live your life…but it has turned be away from me.”

“Go.” Boba turned, sitting back on his throne, head held high. “For your own sake, heed my warning.”

Your father climbed to his feet, shaking, tears spilling down his cheeks, as he turned to leave. Fennec dipped a nod at you both and trailed behind - probably to ensure he made it there.

Your heart bled for him, it did, in the only way you knew how. But he’d brought this on himself - and now, how his story ended was entirely of his choosing. You hoped he had enough common sense to make the right one. As he disappeared up the stairs - back on you once again, you felt a tear slip down your cheek.

He was leaving you again.

But this time you weren’t alone.

You felt a gentle hand caress your cheek, coaxing you to face him, even as Boba pressed his helmet to your forehead, the cool metal rooting you in place, voice rolling through you.

“Mesh’la, I am sorry.” His gloved fingers cupped your chin, thumb brushing over your bottom lip. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”

“It’s okay, I mean that.” Your voice shook, but you felt as if chains had snapped from your wrists - oxygen flooding your lungs as if until now you’d been drowning. “Because of you, I’m free.”

“You’re free because you chose to live your own life. Make your own decisions.” He pulled back, removing his helmet to reveal a ragged smile. Pride shone in his dark eyes. “You’re in control of your destiny. I’m honored to have been a part of the journey.”

You nodded, tears pricking your eyes, relishing the solid feel of his presence. Grateful that you’d stumbled upon that Tusken village over a year ago. Awed that such a proud, renowned warrior such as he loved you. And beyond moved that you loved him in return. Perhaps now you’d have that chance to make something of your life, after all.

-

You stood with Boba on his balcony, the setting suns casting your dress in brilliant scarlet, the light sweeping over the Dune Sea, bathing everything in gold. He’d removed his armor - every bit as dashing and powerful without the beskar that had kept him alive for so long, powerful arms wrapped around you.

The suns hovered in the sky above, heatwaves shimmering through the air like silk, a duality of light to light - shining in your eyes, in his. Cutting a path for you both as you stood in each other’s arms in silent admiration. Perhaps, if you weren’t too bold to think it, they represented the duality of you both - rising from the darkness of your pasts in unity.

Perhaps it was too bold, but you didn’t care. Not when you felt your body against his, safe in his embrace. Nothing in the galaxy could tear you apart - not when you’d always find each other. He kissed your neck, amber eyes shining, and you held him as tightly as you dared, hands thrown around his neck.

“I don’t know how I got so lucky,” his voice was a low rasp as he stroked your cheek with his knuckles. “You’re so beautiful. Too beautiful for an old man.”

“Stars, Boba you’re not old,” you smirked, and he huffed as you traced one of the scars on his face. “I don’t know how I’m so lucky to have you.”

“You will always have me.” He smiled, leaning in for a kiss - one you met with passion, gripping his shoulders as if your life depended on it, wanting to hold him, taste him, show him that he was worthy of love.

That he wasn’t a monster, but a man. A man who could learn to love, learn to heal. That he didn’t have to be alone any longer.

He lifted you into his arms, holding you close against his chest as he deepened the kiss. You curled your legs around his waist, and a strong arm pressed against the small of your back, holding you in place as he stepped inside.

“I want to show you how much I love you. Make you feel good.” His voice was a growl in your ear and you blushed, heat coiling within you as you kissed him again, even as he lowered you onto his bed, leaning over you with a dark smirk. “Is that okay, little one?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” You smirked, looking up at him with a sly grin, knees already going weak merely from the look in his eye. “You still have to make up for the last time, remember?”

“As you wish.” His voice was husky as he leaned down to kiss you, surprisingly gentle even as he caged you between his arms.

Maker, you’d never felt safer. He slipped a hand under your dress, trailing up your skin and to your breast, rolling a nipple between his fingers as you threw a leg over his hips. He propped himself up on his elbow, other hand cupped the back of your head as his hand wandered lower, sending chills down your spine as his fingers slipped beneath your underwear and into your slick heat.

“Already so wet for me,” he whispered your name, closing in for another kiss as he plunged a finger into you, the heel of his hand brushing against your clit, sending arcs of pleasure down your legs.

He was always so precise, attuned to your needs, adding a second finger as he worked you closer and closer to orgasm with deliberate ease. You held him tight, clinging to his shirt even as a tremor settled in your legs.

“Boba, I’m gonna…” your voice cut out when waves of pleasure rolled through you, vision blanking, a moan rolling off your tongue as he guided you back down from your high.

He removed his fingers and brought them to his lips, watching you with a hungry gaze, before helping you sit up, fingers brushing against the back of your neck as he unhooked your dress. You pulled it over your head, a sudden flicker of shyness rolling through you as he reached to unclamp your bra.

“Mesh’la, you’re breathtaking.” His rumbled tone eased that feeling away even as he helped free you from your bra and underwear, gaze draping over you with something akin to worship. “You truly are a flower blooming in these desolate sands.”

“You never told me how much of a poet you were.” You smirked as he lowered his head and softly took one of your nipples in his mouth, tongue swirling around the bud, followed by the second.

“I wouldn’t say I’m a poet…” his lips curved in a smile against you, and you whimpered as his hand brushed over your clit again, merely hovering as he pressed more kisses to your shoulder and neck. “But if you’re my muse, I’ll try.”

Breaths coming ragged, your hands quickly flew to his shirt, determined to pleasure him, too. He paused, placing his hands gently over yours, meeting your gaze with a look you almost perceived as hesitation.

“I’m…I don’t want to you be disappointed…”

“What? How could I ever be?” You blinked, shocked when you realized Boba Fett - in all his strength and power, was worried about his appearance - at least in this instance. It made sense now, why he’d always insisted on being the one to give you pleasure. Did he not think he deserved the same?

“Hey…” you brought a hand to his cheek, and he leaned into your touch, eyes briefly closing shut. “You are beautiful. Your scars are part of what makes you the work of art you are. They don’t diminish you…”

He responded by kissing you as if you were the very oxygen he breathed, even as you worked his shirt over his head, hands falling on his broad chest. You eased him onto his back, kissing his jawline as you mapped the marks over his body as if they were stars - and he was ever patient with your explorative touches. You didn’t miss the look of shock that graced his strong features when you reverently pressed a kiss over a scar that twisted across his bicep, lips trailing down to a particularly deep divot over his chest. His lips were parted, and he whispered your name as you caressed his scarred shoulder, pressing another kiss to the marks that wrapped across his stomach.

“Mesh’la…you mean that?” His voice was absolutely wrecked, and you hadn’t even don’t nearly what you wanted to yet.

You wished you could put to words exactly how much you meant what you said. Of the love that swelled in your heart, wanting to burst, toward the man who had done so much for you. If you could tell him how precious he was, that despite his past and regrets, he was worthy of love…

But gods, you could show him.

“Yes, I do.” You smiled, even as your hands wandered lower. You reminded yourself to ask him what those terms of endearment meant, someday - but right now, that didn’t matter. “Always.”

You rested your hands at the hem of his pants, feeling how impossibly hard he was, and glanced up at him for confirmation. He nodded, and you pulled down his pants, tossing them aside, watching his impressive length spring free.

He was heavy in your hand, just as big as you’d imagined, precum already beading on the flushed tip. He watched you, waiting, eyes almost soft as you ran your hand down his cock, pressing a kiss to his shaft. Needing no further bidding, you licked your palm and stroked him, relishing in the deep groan your actions elicited.

His fingers reached for your chin, drawing your attention to his gaze.

“Like what you see, princess?” He lifted a brow and you smirked, kissing you again with passionate fervor.

“You could say that.” You leaned back down and ran your tongue over his swollen head, collecting his arousal with a grin as he squirmed beneath you, cock twitching in your grasp. “Boba…I love you. So much.”

He shifted, twisting so he leaned over you, eyes dark and shining as he slipped to the end of the bed and lifted your legs over his shoulders.

“I love you too, little one.” He ran his tongue up your slit, mouth closing over your folds, focusing his attention on your clit, humming as you writhed in pleasure.

It was heaven - sweeter than the strongest spice, heat rolling through you as he focused solely on bringing you pleasure. His name danced on your lips like a prayer, spine arching as he ran his tongue over your entrance before refocusing his attention on your clit.

You squirmed as he eased a finger inside you, working you open, your breath coming in ragged gasps as he brushed against something devastating within you, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. He added a second finger and your hands gripped the sheets in fistfuls even as your release ripped through you - vision blinking out as you wriggled against him, panted moans bursting from your parted lips.

He was over you again, leaning down to kiss you, and you tasted your own release on your lips as you felt the tip of his cock brush against your folds.

“You want this?” His voice was impossibly rough as he brushed a thumb over your bottom lip, still waiting for your consent.

You nodded, still too lost in your own pleasure to speak, and so he hummed, running his cock through your folds before lining himself with your entrance.

When he slowly sank into you with a deep groan, a breathy moan raised from your parted lips. He circled your clit with his fingers to ease you into accommodating his size, the burning feeling shifting to raw pleasure. You were already so wet, you were glad he’d prepped you first.

“Hnh, so tight.” His face dipped to your neck, kissing your pulse point, then your collarbones, then the valley between your breasts as he finally bottomed out, filling you completely.

“Gods, you feel so good.” You were nearly breathless as he began to move, sliding in and out of you before setting a steady rhythm, his angled thrusts stirring more coiled heat within you - spreading from your legs to your toes, the white-hot arcs sparking in the back of your brain as he grunted, breaths coming in huffed pants.

He pulled you closer, shifting your hips to meet his, a near-growl rumbling through his chest as he brought his hand back to your clit, rubbing tight circles. You clenched around him and he groaned, once again shifting his angle just slightly enough to stoke you deeper than before - the drag of his cock against your walls driving your closer to your inevitable release.

“Boba…’m gonna come…” you gripped his shoulders as he came for another kiss.

“I know, mesh’la, I can feel you,” he pulled back, looking down at your with devotion, a wicked grin flicking over his lips. “C’mon, little one. Come for me.”

As if your body had been waiting for his command, you squeezed around him, his movements coming erratic even as your spine arced as waves of pleasure coursed through you, stronger and harder then ever before. His name danced on your tongue, tears pricking the corners of your eyes as he worked you through your orgasm. Boba’s hips faltered, breaths erratic, as he neared his own release.

“Gonna come, princess…” he kissed your neck, pressing a bite to your skin. “Where…”

“Inside,” you kissed him back, nipping his lip, caressing his scarred face even as he grunted, finishing with two more thrusts before he came with a sharp moan, hips twitching as your fluttering cunt squeezed around him.

Finally, he stilled, pulling out of you with a sigh, the mixture of your combined releases slicking your legs. He lay beside you, still for a moment, but then reached for you, curling an arm around your waist and pulling you close. You nestled against him, blissed out and fucked boneless - feeling so safe in his arms.

“Was that okay?” His voice was still gruff, but significantly softer around the edges.

“Yes, that was wonderful.” You snuggled closer, twining your legs with his. He hummed, absentmindedly rubbing circles on your back with his thumb. “Thank you.”

You lay in silence, and you couldn’t help but smile as a thought popped in your head, the irony of it all too comical to leave unmentioned.

“Boba?”

He grunted, shifting to meet your gaze.

“You know, I haven’t forged a single weapon since you ‘hired’ me.” You raised a brow and smirked, tracing your fingers over his broad chest. “Just an observation, of course.”

“You can make as many weapons as you want, little one. But you’ve already forged something greater.” He held you tight, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You’ve made a life for yourself, and drastically impacted mine. In fact…” he raised a brow at you playfully, “I think I just might have to marry you.”

Your eyes widened, heart soaring even as you leaned against his chest, pressing a kiss to his lips, hands cupping his cheeks as you deepened the kiss. When you finally pulled back for air, he shot you a bemused smirk.

“Was that a yes?”

“Yes, a thousand times over.” You lay against his chest and he lifted a hand to your head, gently caressing your hair as exhaustion drifted through you both. “Boba…I’d like that more than anything.”

“I’m glad, adi’ka. I never thought I’d have a family…but as long as I have you, I want to try to believe I deserve one.”

“We will together.” You held him close, the gratitude of a thousand lifetimes rushing through you even as you glanced out of the balcony at the moons high above - for once feeling as if you had your own adventure.

Your impact. Empowerment. Love.

Perhaps you did indeed have a chance to become something more, and you knew in the depths of your soul that you would never be alone again - not when you were held in Boba’s embrace.

And that was a life worth living for.

-

Taglist: @love-like-poetry @tortor-mcgee @pickleprickle

[notrixxtarot]

Tarot Card Meanings (Major Arcana Part 1)

This is what the cards mean to my decks, representations vary slightly person to person. I learned tarot through the app Labrynithos, if you would like to practice these cards.

0 - The Fool

New beginnings

Innocence

Original ideas

Being spontaneous

I - The Magician

Intuition

Desire

Willpower to create

Manifestation

II - The High Priestess

Intuition

Your inner voice

Your unconscious mind

III - The Empress

Motherhood or nuturing nature

Nature

Fertility

IV - The Emperor

Control

Fatherhood

Authority

V - The Hierophant

Conformation

Following tradition or being traditional

Ethics

VI - The Lovers

Duality

Partnership

Union of two

VII - The Chariot

Willpower

Direction/Guidance

Control or gaining control

VII - Strength

Internal strength

Brave

Compassion

VII- The Hermit

Seeking truth/answers

Introspection

Introverted

VIII - The Wheel of Fortune

Cycles

Fate that cannot be changed

Some sort of change

This is a lot of typing, so I am going to continue this tomorrow and continue to break down the deck.

Support my Etsy to support me!

[vestaldestroyer]

BSD characters as Tarot cards

0 - The Fool - Nakajima Atsushi

The Fool represents someone who is at the beginning of their journey and knows nothing about the world. Innocent, naive, a blank piece of paper. No other card would be more fitting for Atsushi.

I - The Magician - Nakahara Chuuya

This card embodies pure willpower. The magician takes everything that is available to them and molds it to fit their own image. Which is why I think it should be Chuuya, who takes everything fate gives him and makes it his own.

II - High Priestess - Ozaki Kouyou

The High Priestess is the guardian of the unconscious and embodies intuition. She is the voice in the back of our head that guides us, the same way Kouyou guides Chuuya as well as Mori and the Mafia.

III - The Empress - Yosano Akiko

Do I even need to say anything here? The Empress is a mother figure that nurtures and brings life. I think she is just that to the detectives.

IV - The Emperor - Hirotsu Ryuurou

The Emperor is an authoritative figure. They have accumulated wisdom over the years, which allows them to have everything under control. Someone might think of Mori or Fukuzawa here, but I think they are too impulsive to fit this archetype.

V - The Hierophant - Sakaguchi Ango

A person under the Hierophant card is guided by tradition. They follow the path they consider objectively right. They value morals and conformity. Kunikida would be a good fit here, but since Mayoi assigned him a different card, I put Ango here.

VI - Lovers - Akutagawa Gin

This card suggests a person with a harmonious inner duality. Gin's mafia persona and casual persona are exactly like that. They coexist peacefully.

VII - The Chariot - Miyazawa Kenji

While self-control is not exactly Kenji's forte, I think his determination and ability to move forward with nothing but willpower makes him a good representative of the Chariot card.

VIII - Strength - Higuchi Ichiyou

This card usually depicts a woman, brave and strong but also compassionate. In the way Higuchi treats Akutagawa, we can see she is exactly that.

IX - The Hermit - Edogawa Ranpo

The Hermit is a person who isolates themselves from their surroundings in order to search for the truth. Ranpo always distances himself from the other detectives, and searching for the truth is his ability.

X - The Wheel - Mori Ougai

When this card appears, it means that higher forces are at work here. It represents an inevitable change. I think Mori enjoys simply observing how things play out without intervening, which is why I put him on the card of fate.

XI - Justice - Kunikida Doppo

Kunikida isn't the first character I think of when I see this card, but he fits here too. Justice tells you that your actions have consequences, it is a person who values fairness, clarity and truth.

XII - Hanged Man - Sakunosuke Oda

The Hanged Man is a martyr, someone who sacrificed himself for a higher cause of their own free will. Odasaku did just that in the Dark Era.

XIII - Death - Dazai Osamu

No one would fit this card better. Don't be fooled by the name, it has a positive meaning. It represents a radical change, a metamorphosis even. One cycle ends and a new one begins.

XIV - Temperance - Tanizaki Junichiro

A person who always takes the middle path and adapts easily, calm and patient. Tanizaki is a character who doesn't work on his own, but cooperates with others instead, which makes him a good fit for this peaceful card.

XV - The Devil - Francis Fitzgerald

I originally didn't intend to put characters besides ADA and PM here, but Fitzgerald is the definition of the Devil card. A materialist living their life in excess, trying to hide their fears and insecurities.

XVI - The Tower - Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

When I think of Akutagawa, this is the first card that comes to mind. It stands for a sudden disaster, something we consider fundamental is destroyed. Like Akutagawa's relationship with Dazai. This card also suggests pride.

XVII - The Star - Izumi Kyouka

This card represents hope and rebirth. I think Kyouka's character arc is exactly what this card stands for.

XVIII - The Moon - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

This is a tricky card. It suggests unconsciousness and dreams, but also a warning: those dreams can be illusions that can lead you astray. A summary of the Cannibalism arc.

XIX - The Sun - Tanizaki Naomi

The Sun stands for a positivity, joy, success and celebration. When I see this card, I remember the scene at the party where Atsushi apologizes to Naomi for the Q incident and she says she already forgot.

XX - Judgement - Tachihara Michizou

This card tells you that you're on the cusp of rebirth, but first you need to look back at your life and make a honest evaluation. I haven't read the manga, but I think Tachihara fits here.

XXI - The World - Fukuzawa Yukichi

The last card of the Major Arcana suggests harmony and completion. I put Fukuzawa here because his story is already over, and now he puts everything he knows into raising the next generation.

(If there are any artists who would like to complete the deck, I'd be more than happy to help!)

[feysandfeels]

Top five actors for any acotar-characters?

You mean besides me as Feyre?

Once again I am with my cast me as Feyre agenda because I know I'd ace it and @foxfairyreads @cassianandfenrysaremyboyos and @rhysand-vs-fenrys think so too and that says a lot because they have read the books.

I'm using whatever platform I can to spread this.. if you want to see my Feyre monologue I'll share it with you. And I'm bribing @moononastring and @aurips to join my cause with promises of inviting them to set and meet whoever they cast as Lucien.

Join my cause because I will be the Feyre of your dreams.

Now that this is out of the way lets get to it

Top five actors for any acotar-characters

Matthew Daddario will forever be my Rhys. No one is as handsome as he is and like when sjm described Rhys as the most beautiful person ever my mind when to Matthew Daddario and I have not looked back since.

Abbey Cowen as Gwyn. Save that girl from the disrespect that is Winx Fate and cast her as Gwyn. Truly the character is based off on her.

Garrett Hedlund as Tamlin. I love Garrett I do which is why I know he will be an amazing Tamlin. He has the physicality to play into Tamlin's brute strength, traditional masculinity based personality. Also I think he would look amazing playing whatever guitar Tamlin plays. I think he could do the duality of the toxic aspects, rage and impotence that is all over the character.

Zion Moreno as Elain. Have you seen the girl? she is ethereal and the way they have styled her in Gossip Girl has that traditional femininity vibe that fits Elain v well. Also she is latina and so am I so I continue with my Feyre agenda.

Avan Jogia as Azriel. The man is Azriel.. mysterious, beautiful, smart, quiet, alluring.

Bonus:

She's not an actress but perhaps with training she could pull her off but Gigi Hadid has always been my Mor.

and Ianthe is Saoirse Ronan

I did a whole post on my fancast.

Ask me my “Top 5″ anything