#vibrate higher daily

[lalahdelia]

Not everyone knows you’re a miracle.

[deliciousambiguity]

Embracing and commemorating the manifestation of a quantum jump…🌞✍️🥂🥳

“May you always turn towards the sun”

[sarojnip]

[divinesubliminal777]

Higher self connection subliminal

[mywitchyblog]

The Importance of Spiritual Hygiene in Reality Shifting.

Introduction :

Reality shifting, the practice of consciously transferring one's awareness to an alternate reality or desired reality, has gained significant attention in recent years. As more individuals explore this metaphysical concept, the importance of spiritual hygiene represents a crucial factor in order to shift succesfully. This essay delves into the often overlooked aspect of maintaining spiritual cleanliness and its profound impact on a shifters journey.

Just as we maintain physical hygiene for our bodily health, spiritual hygiene is essential for our energetic and mental well-being, particularly when engaging in practices that involve altering our state of consciousness. By examining the foundations of spiritual hygiene, exploring effective practices, and understanding the consequences of neglecting this vital aspect, we can make our shifting journey smoother and easier.

In the following sections, we will explore the intricate relationship between spiritual hygiene and reality shifting, providing insights and practical guidance for those seeking to optimize their shifting journey.

Disclaimer : Read Post entirely if you didnt understand something tell me and i'l clarify it for you.

Masterlist

I. Foundations of Spiritual Hygiene in Reality Shifting

A. Defining spiritual hygiene

Spiritual hygiene, in the context of reality shifting, refers to the practice of maintaining a clean, balanced, and harmonious energetic state of being. It encompasses various techniques and habits that aim to purify one's spiritual, mental, and emotional bodies/states. Just as physical hygiene involves cleansing and caring for our physical bodies, spiritual hygiene focuses on cleansing and nurturing our non-physical aspects.

At its core, spiritual hygiene is about cultivating a state of inner clarity, positivity, and alignment with one's higher self. This involves:

Energetic cleansing: Regularly clearing one's aura/energy/chakras of negative and stagnant energies that may accumulate from daily interactions, stress, or environmental factors.

Mental clarity: Maintaining a clear and focused mind, free from excessive worry, doubt, or negative thought patterns.

Emotional balance: Processing and releasing emotions in a healthy manner, avoiding emotional stagnation or overwhelming states.

Intentional living: Aligning one's thoughts, actions, and intentions with their highest values and spiritual goals.

Spiritual connection: Nurturing a connection with one's inner guidance, higher self, or preferred spiritual entities.

Energetic boundaries: Establishing and maintaining healthy energetic boundaries to protect oneself from external negative influences.

Vibrational upliftment: Consistently raising one's vibrational frequency through positive practices, thoughts, and experiences.

In the context of reality shifting, spiritual hygiene takes on additional significance as it directly influences one's ability to navigate between different states of consciousness and therefore realities.

B. Connection between spiritual cleanliness and successful shifting

The practice of reality shifting requires a high degree of mental focus, emotional stability, and energetic alignment. Spiritual hygiene plays a crucial role in facilitating these conditions, thereby increasing the likelihood of successful shifting attempts. The connection between spiritual cleanliness and successful shifting can be understood through several key aspects:

Vibrational alignment: Reality shifting often involves attuning oneself to the vibrational frequency of your desired reality. A spiritually clean state allows for easier alignment with higher vibrational frequencies, making it more feasible to connect with and shift to your intended/desired reality.

Mental clarity and focus: A cluttered or chaotic mind can hinder the concentration required for shifting. Regular spiritual hygiene practices help clear mental fog, reduce intrusive thoughts, and enhance the ability to visualize and focus on the desired reality.

Emotional stability: Intense or unprocessed emotions can create energetic blockages that interfere with shifting attempts. Maintaining emotional balance through spiritual hygiene practices allows for a more stable and conducive state for shifting.

Energetic purity: A clean energy field is more receptive to the subtle energies involved in reality shifting. It allows for clearer channeling of intentions and easier detachment from the current reality.

Spiritual protection: Good spiritual hygiene includes practices that protect one's energy field. This is crucial during shifting attempts, as it helps prevent interference from unwanted energies habits and so on...

Intuition and guidance: A spiritually clean state enhances one's connection to inner guidance and intuition. This can be invaluable during shifting, helping navigate the process and make decisions aligned with one's highest good.

Belief and intention amplification: Spiritual hygiene practices often involve affirmations, visualizations, and intention-setting. These reinforce the belief in one's ability to shift and amplify the power of intentions, both critical factors in successful shifts.

Energetic flexibility: Regular spiritual cleansing increases one's energetic flexibility, making it easier to adapt to the vibrations of different realities and facilitating smoother transitions during shifting attempts.

Subconscious alignment: Many spiritual hygiene practices work on a subconscious level, helping to align deeper parts of the psyche with the conscious desire to shift. This internal harmony can significantly enhance shifting success.

Resilience and perseverance: The discipline cultivated through consistent spiritual hygiene practices builds mental and emotional resilience. This is crucial for persevering through challenges or initial unsuccessful attempts in your reality shifting journey.It can help you fights against negatives habits ,thoughts and allow you to break through and not to give up.

In essence, spiritual hygiene creates an optimal internal environment for reality shifting. It clears obstacles, enhances necessary skills, and aligns one's entire being with the goal of shifting. By maintaining a high standard of spiritual cleanliness, practitioners of reality shifting can significantly increase their chances of success, enjoy more vivid and controlled experiences, and navigate the process with greater ease and safety.

Moreover, the benefits of spiritual hygiene extend beyond just facilitating successful shifts. It also helps in integrating shifting experiences, processing the insights gained from different realities, and maintaining overall well-being throughout one's shifting journey. As such, spiritual hygiene should be considered a fundamental and ongoing practice for anyone seriously engaged in reality shifting.

For exemple this is what happened in 2020. Rememeber when people told you to drink water clean your room take a shower etc... That was exemples of spiritual Hygiene .Theres tons of ways to do it but those where somme common exemples that people did you didnt have to follow them by the letters but it helped a lot of people.

II. Practices for Maintaining Spiritual Hygiene

A. Cleansing rituals and techniques

Maintaining spiritual hygiene requires regular cleansing practices to remove energetic debris, reset one's vibration, and create a clean slate for reality shifting. Here are some effective cleansing rituals and techniques:

Smudging: This ancient practice involves burning sacred herbs like sage , palo santo (White Sage and Palo Santo are cultural appropriation), or cedar to cleanse spaces and auras. The smoke is believed to attach to negative energies and carry them away as it dissipates.

Salt baths: Soaking in a bath with sea salt or Epsom salt can draw out and absorb negative energies and toxins from the body and aura. Adding essential oils can enhance the cleansing effect.

Visualization meditation: Imagine a bright white or golden light flowing through your body, cleansing every cell and your entire energy field. Visualize negative energies being washed away or transmuted into positive light.

Sound cleansing: Use singing bowls, bells, or specific frequencies (like 528 Hz) to cleanse your energy field. The vibrations help break up stagnant energies and realign your personal frequency.

Breathwork: Practices like holotropic breathwork can help clear energetic blockages and oxygenate the body, promoting a sense of lightness and clarity.

Crystal cleansing: Use crystals like clear quartz or black tourmaline to absorb negative energies. Pass them through your aura or place them on specific body parts to draw out unwanted energies.

Energy combing: Visualize or use your hands to "comb" through your aura, removing any stuck or tangled energies.

Grounding exercises: Connect with the earth's energy through barefoot walking, hugging trees, or visualizing roots growing from your feet into the earth.This will help you ground yourself which is key to prevent spiritual psychosis.

Chakra balancing: Focus on each chakra, visualizing it spinning cleanly and brightly, removing any blockages or imbalances.

Journaling and emotional release: Write out negative thoughts or emotions to acknowledge and release them from your energetic system.

Shadow Work : Arguably the best method of spiritual hygiene out there it invovles digging deep inside yourself in order to incover part of yourself that may cause issues or explain why you act the way that you act.If there is a question you feel like it makes you feel weird or that you are trying to dodge it that means that it is where you should dig.

B. Ongoing maintenance of spiritual purity

While periodic deep cleansing is important, maintaining spiritual hygiene requires consistent daily practices. Here are some techniques for ongoing maintenance:

Morning and evening rituals: Develop a routine that includes practices like meditation, affirmations, or energy clearing to start and end each day with a clean slate.

Mindfulness practice: Stay aware of your thoughts and emotions throughout the day, addressing any negativity promptly to prevent energetic buildup.

Energy shielding: Visualize a protective bubble or shield around your aura each morning to deflect negative energies throughout the day.

Regular meditation: Incorporate daily meditation to quiet the mind, release stress, and maintain a high vibrational state.

Gratitude practice: Cultivate an attitude of gratitude through journaling or mental acknowledgment, which naturally elevates your spiritual vibration.

Nature connection: Spend time in nature regularly to reset your energy and align with the earth's natural rhythms.

Healthy lifestyle choices: Maintain a balanced diet, regular exercise, and adequate sleep to support overall energetic health.

Conscious consumption: Be mindful of the media, conversations, and environments you expose yourself to, avoiding those that lower your vibration.

Regular energy checks: Perform quick energy scans throughout the day, clearing any accumulated negativity.

Affirmations and positive self-talk: Use affirmations to maintain a positive mindset and high vibration.

Spiritual study: Engage in regular reading or learning about spiritual topics to keep your practice fresh and evolving.

Decluttering: Regularly clear your physical space, as this often corresponds to energetic clearing.

Sacred space maintenance: Keep a dedicated area for spiritual practices, regularly cleansing and energizing this space.

Intention setting: Start each day or week by setting clear, positive intentions for your spiritual hygiene and shifting practices.

Prayer : Prayer can be a form of spiritual hygiene where you pray and visualise or accept that whoever you pray to will grant you what you asked for.

Self Care: "As within,So without . As without So Within" this saying states whatever action taken in the physical or the spiritual will reflect on the other side.So taking care of yourself physically will also help you mentally. I know it is easier said then done but just trying even a litlle bit is enough and can help you tremendously. Things like brushing your teeth,doing skin care lisenting to music that makes you feel good is beneficial.

By incorporating these cleansing rituals and maintenance practices into daily life, reality shifters can create and sustain an optimal energetic environment for their shifting attempts. This consistent attention to spiritual hygiene not only enhances the shifting experience but also contributes to overall well-being, clarity of mind, and spiritual growth. Remember, the key to effective spiritual hygiene is consistency and personalization – finding the practices that resonate most strongly with you and making them a regular part of your routine.

III. Consequences of Poor or Absent Spiritual Hygiene

A. Negative impacts on shifting attempts

Neglecting spiritual hygiene can significantly hinder reality shifting efforts and lead to various undesirable outcomes:

Difficulty in shifting: A cluttered energy field can create barriers to successfully transitioning between realities, making it harder to initiate or maintain a shift (as in grounding yourself in your DR).

Inconsistent or unstable shifts: Poor spiritual hygiene may result in shifts that are brief, unclear, or difficult to control, leading to fragmented or unsatisfying experiences.

Unintended destinations: Without proper energetic alignment, shifters might find themselves in realities that don't match their intentions, potentially leading to confusion or distress.

Increased vulnerability to intrusive thoughts: A lack of mental clarity can amplify doubts, fears, and negative thoughts during shifting attempts, sabotaging the process.

Energetic interference: An unprotected or "dirty" energy field may attract or allow interference from unwanted energies or "entities" (the whole entity thing cannot happen but some shifters claimed it to be so but you quickly realize that it is all in their head and they start going into spiritual psychosis) during shifting, potentially leading to disruptive or even frightening experiences.

Difficulty in maintaining focus: Poor spiritual hygiene can result in a scattered mind, making it challenging to concentrate on shifting intentions or visualizations.

Emotional instability during shifts: Unprocessed emotions or energetic imbalances may surface during shifting attempts, causing emotional turbulence that disrupts the experience.

Difficulty in returning or grounding: Poor spiritual hygiene may complicate the process of returning to the original reality or grounding oneself after a shift.

Increased skepticism and self-doubt: Repeated unsuccessful or unsatisfying shifting attempts due to poor spiritual hygiene may erode confidence in one's ability to shift, creating a negative feedback loop that could cause a snowball effect and scar you for life.

B. Potential risks to personal well-being and energy

Beyond impacting shifting attempts, neglecting spiritual hygiene can have broader consequences for one's overall well-being:

Energy depletion: Constant exposure to negative energies without proper cleansing can lead to chronic fatigue, low motivation, and a general sense of being drained.

Increased susceptibility to negative influences: A weakened energy field may make one more vulnerable to picking up others' negative emotions or thought patterns.

Emotional imbalance: Poor spiritual hygiene can result in mood swings, irritability, or persistent negative emotional states.

Mental fog and confusion: Accumulation of energetic debris can lead to difficulty in concentration, decision-making, and clarity of thought.

Physical manifestations: Prolonged energetic imbalances may eventually manifest as physical discomfort or health issues.

Spiritual disconnection: Neglecting spiritual hygiene can lead to a sense of disconnection from one's higher self, intuition, or spiritual guidance.

Relationship strain: An imbalanced energy field can negatively impact interactions with others, leading to misunderstandings or conflicts.

Increased anxiety or paranoia: Poor energetic boundaries may result in feeling overwhelmed by external energies, leading to heightened anxiety or paranoid thoughts.

Stagnation in personal growth: Neglecting spiritual practices can hinder overall spiritual development and self-awareness.

Negative thought spirals: Without proper cleansing and maintenance, negative thought patterns can become entrenched, leading to a pessimistic outlook on life.

Blocked intuition: An unclear energy field can muffle intuitive signals, making it harder to make decisions aligned with one's highest good.

Increased sensitivity to environmental stressors: Poor spiritual hygiene can make one more susceptible to the negative effects of electromagnetic fields, crowd energies, or other environmental factors.

Difficulty in manifesting desires: Since reality shifting is closely related to manifestation, poor spiritual hygiene can obstruct one's ability to attract positive experiences or outcomes in any reality.

Karmic accumulation: Some believe that neglecting spiritual cleanliness can lead to the accumulation of negative karma, potentially affecting future experiences across realities.

Loss of energetic discernment: Without regular cleansing and maintenance, it may become increasingly difficult to distinguish between one's own energies and external influences.

In addition to the previously mentioned risks, it's crucial to highlight more severe consequences that have affected some shifters who neglected spiritual hygiene:

Mental health misinterpretations: Many individuals who attempted shifting without proper spiritual hygiene have experienced mental distress, leading them to mistakenly attribute these issues to shifting itself. This has resulted in some believing they developed psychosis or other mental health conditions, when in fact, these were consequences of poor energetic maintenance.

Physical and mental scars: Neglecting spiritual hygiene has left some shifters with lasting mental and physical scars. These may manifest as persistent anxiety, unexplained physical sensations, or a lingering sense of disconnection from their original reality.

Loss of faith in shifting: Due to negative experiences stemming from poor spiritual hygiene, some practitioners have erroneously concluded that shifting is "fake" or dangerous, abandoning the practice altogether.

Energetic attachments: Some shifters have reported feeling like they've brought back unwanted energetic attachments or entities from other realities, leading to persistent feelings of being watched or influenced by external forces.

Reality bleed-through: Poor boundaries between realities, caused by inadequate spiritual hygiene, have led to some shifters experiencing unsettling "bleed-through" effects, where elements of other realities intrude into their daily life.(These are nothing more than extreamly vivid hallucinations and at this point please seek help this is not normal at all).

Difficulty in maintaining a stable sense of self: Some practitioners have struggled with identity issues after shifting, finding it hard to reconcile their experiences across different realities. This is often exacerbated by poor spiritual hygiene practices.

Chronic fatigue and energy depletion: Many shifters have reported feeling constantly drained, unable to shake off fatigue even with adequate physical rest, due to energetic imbalances.(and again you are not suppoised to feel exhausted or tired when you shift back to your CR/OR considering that it is not that version of you who did all those things but your DR self not your OR self by logic it shoudnt and cannot happen)

Increased sensitivity to negative energies: Some individuals have developed hypersensitivity to energies around them, finding it overwhelming to be in crowded places or around certain individuals.

Nightmares and sleep disturbances: Poor spiritual hygiene has led to some shifters experiencing persistent nightmares or feeling like they're involuntarily shifting during sleep, disrupting their rest and daily functioning.

Difficulty in grounding: Some practitioners have found it challenging to fully "return" to their CR (current reality) or feel grounded in daily life, leading to a persistent feeling of dissociation.

It's important to emphasize that these negative experiences are not inherent to the practice of reality shifting itself, but rather consequences of neglecting proper spiritual hygiene. Shifting, being a spiritual practice, requires the same level of care and maintenance as any other spiritual or energetic work. Just as a healthy body contributes to a healthy mind, maintaining spiritual hygiene is vital for a healthy shifting practice and overall well-being.

By understanding these potential risks and the importance of spiritual hygiene, practitioners can approach reality shifting more responsibly and safely. This awareness can help prevent negative experiences and misconceptions about shifting, allowing individuals to explore this practice in a balanced and beneficial manner.

If you do not beleive me do it yourself. As in do the research look at the articles testimonies and story time from "ex-shifters". You will soon realize that it all stems for a poor or non existant spiritual hygiene that's what fucked them up.Not Shifting, they shot themselves in the foot.

Conlcusion :

Reality shifting, a practice of consciously transferring awareness to alternate realities, relies heavily on proper spiritual hygiene. This concept encompasses techniques for maintaining energetic cleanliness and balance, which are crucial for successful shifting experiences and overall well-being.

Spiritual hygiene in shifting involves regular cleansing rituals, such as smudging, meditation, and energy work, as well as ongoing practices like mindfulness, grounding, and energy protection. These techniques create an optimal internal environment for shifting by clearing energetic debris, enhancing focus, and aligning one's vibration with desired realities.

Neglecting spiritual hygiene can lead to significant challenges, including difficulty in shifting, unstable experiences, and potential risks to mental and physical health. Some practitioners have mistakenly attributed negative effects of poor spiritual hygiene to shifting itself, leading to misconceptions about the practice. By understanding and prioritizing spiritual hygiene, shifters can enhance their experiences, prevent negative outcomes, and foster holistic well-being across all realities they encounter.

In essence, spiritual hygiene is not just a supplementary aspect of reality shifting, but a fundamental component that ensures safe, enriching, and transformative experiences. As the practice of reality shifting continues to evolve, emphasizing the importance of spiritual hygiene will be crucial in creating a responsible and rewarding approach to this profound spiritual journey.

[daydreamingqueen1]

Puppy eyes

Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAU! Reader (can be seen as platonic too)

Warnings: none. fluff, spencer being a bit of a germaphobe, no y/n, pretty sure is gn reader too

Summary: Spencer Reid vs puppy, need I say more

Word count: 1.3k

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It's the best day ever.

Your day had started pretty normal to be honest, you would even say it was kind of shitty since you had missed the subway you usually took for your daily commute to the BAU.

But, as wiser people say: Everything happens for a reason.

Because as you are making your way to work, your ears catch the soft sound of a creature whimpering. Trying to find the source, you give a couple tentative steps with your head turning from left to right like you are a hunting hound.

Ironically, behind the decorative bushes that surround the FBI building entrance, you find the origin of the sound.

It's not a hound but it's close enough. It's a puppy.

A beautiful, chocolate spotted puppy.

"Oh my god, sweetie, come here!" you gush automatically, your hand extending gently to reach for the animal currently crying between the bushes and the wall.

The adorable puppy looks up at you a bit hesitant at first, big brown eyes meeting yours. It gives a sniff to the air, checking the scent of your palm from afar, you almost squeal from how cute it looks.

Then it wags its tail.

You make kissy noises to coax him closer, your voice getting two tones higher, "Come here puppy!"

It works because soon enough it walks out of its hiding spot and nuzzles into your palm eagerly, tail wagging from side to side.

You practically lunge to grab the poor thing, "Look at you! You are so cute!"

The puppy doesn't seem to mind your cuteness aggression though, its fluffy body melting on your arms when you scratch behind its long ears, "You're coming home with me."

Best day ever.

But you can't just ignore your responsibilities and walk back home to stay with it, and it wouldn't be sensible to leave such a young puppy alone in your apartment either.

So you do the next most reasonable thing.

Your smile almost takes up your whole face when you walk out of the elevator with the puppy in your arms.

Penelope spots you first, immediately dropping the files on her hands on a random desk to come rushing to you, "Oh my god! Oh my god! It's that a puppy my eyes are seeing?!"

You giggle, pretty much vibrating with joy at this point, "Yes, isn't it the cutest thing ever?"

"Aww, my heart can't deal with this!" she cries, hands fanning herself dramatically.

"Where did you get it?" Prentiss chirps in, hers and almost every other head in the bullpen looking up from their desk to look at you. Well, at the puppy.

You keep walking into the office with Garcia looming all over you, "It was crying outside. This little thing was all alone in the bushes."

A hoard of agents are suddenly surrounding you, eager to get a closer look.

"You'll have to look if it belongs to someone," Morgan says, which makes you instantly pout.

"It doesn't have a collar, idiot," Emily argues quickly, "Such a profiler you are."

"I wanna keep it," you smile brightly, "I think it's a boy."

You turn the puppy onto it's back.

"Yep, definitely a boy," Morgan chuckles, he attempts to pet its head but the creature recoils in your arms, clearly overwhelmed at the amount of people.

Noticing the puppy is a bit scared, you pull back from the crowd, only then you notice a certain agent who remains seated on his desk.

“Don't you want to see it, Spencer?” you ask eagerly.

He shakes his head, his body leaning away slightly, “I can see it from right here, don't worry.”

“Oh, come on Reid, don't tell me you are afraid of dogs,” Derek never loses a chance to tease him.

Spencer gives him a flat look, “I'm not scared of dogs, I’m just aware of the amount of diseases they can transmit to humans.”

You tsk your tongue. “But he's so cute, and it doesn't look like it has rabies or anything,” you look down at the dog while approaching his desk, talking directly at it with a baby voice, “Tell me, do you have rabies, little puppy?”

It just stares blankly at you. Proof enough. “See?”

Spencer, ever the statistics expert, begins his rant, “Well, actually, rabies is not the most common disease dogs can carry, nor the only one. Illnesses that pass between animals and humans are known as zoonotic diseases and a 2007 study based in Finland shows that noroviruses are one of the leading causes of diarrheal diseases among people of all age groups and that these can survive in dogs and be passed along to– Please don't get that thing any closer.”

You chuckle at the panic look Spencer gives you when you reach his side. Truthfully, you aren't going to make him touch the puppy if he's uncomfortable with it, but a little bit of teasing is at the order of the day, “Oh, really? Come on, holding it for a second won't kill you.”

You pull the puppy up next to your face and give him your best puppy eyes, mimicking talking as the puppy, “Please? Am I not cute enough to pet?”

Spencer gives you a long look, “Yes, very cute.”

Forcing down your blush, you extend the puppy to him, “Then pet it.”

He presses his lips in a line, his hands coming up defensively as he rolls backwards on his office chair, “I think I'll pass.”

You chuckle and are about to back off when the puppy squirms in your arms, leaping out from your hands.

The scene unfolds in front of your eyes almost in slow motion. You watch how the pup flies in the air, its short body extended as a superhero.

Spencer catches it, thank god.

“Oh, no,” he squeaks when he realizes what he's done, holding the puppy as if it were about to explode, panickedly starting to name every possible disease, “Pasteurella, Salmonella, Brucella, Yersinia enterocolitica, Leptospira–”

His alarmed ramble gets interrupted by the enthusiastic puppy licking up his cheek.

You freeze for a moment, expecting him to die from a heart attack.

Spencer giggles.

“It's giving me kisses,” his face scrunches up adorably at the onslaught of affection, “It tickles, buddy.”

You can't help the relieved laugh that escapes your lips, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I'm going to have to wash my face with antibacterial soap though,” he chuckles as he puts the puppy down on his lap, away from further kisses.

Oh, and you've just fucked up so bad because your heart gets squeezed inside your chest at the endering sight of Spencer and the puppy staring at each other.

“You are right, he's cute,” Spencer turns to smile at you, the animal's tail wagging incessantly.

You fucked up good.

“Aww, look at you two,” Penelope says excitedly, “It even looks like you, Reid!”

Your gaze shifts back and forth from your coworker to the creature on his lap. Penelope has a point, you can kind of see the resemblance. The puppy has long ears with soft, brown curls covering them that look similar to Spencer's long hair. The cute, hazel puppy dog eyes go without saying.

Morgan snorts, “Babygirl, you are right, it kind of looks like the kid.”

You pick up the puppy and smile, “Seems like I got myself my own mini Doctor Reid,”

Spencer is about to say something back when Hotch’s office opens, both him and Rossi entering the bullpen.

“Agent, please tell me that's not a dog you have there.” Hotch gives you a stern look.

“It is not, sir,” you answer, smiling apologetically and holding the puppy closer against your chest.

He sighs, shaking his head. “Everyone to the meeting room, we've got a case.”

The puppy lets out a tiny bark, and you make your way to the meeting room before Hotch can tell you anything else.

Spencer sits next to you on the round table and whispers against your ear as everyone is filling in, “I'll help you take care of little Doc here if you decide to keep him.”

Not even the gruesome details of the case are enough to sour your mood.

Best day ever.

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yep, this was inspired by all of the MGG pictures with puppies. I am weak.

leave me a prompt if you want!

reblogs and comments are appreciated <3

hope ya liked it, byebye

My masterlist

[astro-royale]

How to “make it” when you live in a toxic environment

‼️Disclaimer: This is my personal opinion based on what has helped me and is by no means professional advice. Please take what resonates according to your situation.

1. Drop your expectations. People who have shown you consistently that they don’t care will not change.You need to preserve as much energy as you can for yourself and your goals. Stop setting yourself up for disappointment. Yes, it’s sad. Do the shadow work and don’t tell people things YOU KNOW they will react negatively to.

2. Don’t expect people to be happy for you or support you. Move in silence. People’s subconscious fears will be projected onto you and your goals, why do you need those curses placed upon you when you have so much to deal with anyway.

3. Take what you can get. Accept whatever help you can receive that you know will have no repercussions. Sometimes people can help you with some things and not others.

4. Shift all your efforts towards being able to leave that environment. Do research on how you can expand your finances, and that may mean doing something out of your comfort zone such as creating a social media platform etc. Never compromise on your well being however.

5. You need to believe in yourself as much as you can, even if people won’t.

6. Take advantage of the free help and advice on the internet. Can’t afford something? Well you have time more than money at the moment so use it to research. That research can be used as an asset to help you now and maybe later it can be the reason you start a particular business or are inspired to help people.

7. BE SOLUTION ORIENTED. focusing on problems only creates more problems. You’re going to have to try over and over again in life. Focusing on what’s wrong all the time will not allow you to step outside of the box and see things from a detached point of view where you can actually see a solution.

8. Prayer. I cannot stress this enough. Prayer has caused miracles in my life. Rely on God/Universe whatever you resonate with as much as you can. Your connection to yourself and your higher power is something you always have access to and if you believe and have faith even in times of darkness your high vibration will cause the ripple effect you’re looking for and problems will be solved. I recommend praying and setting up an intention every morning and night.

9. Even if you’re in survival mode 90% of the time. That 10% you spend meditating and praying. Even a little 10 minute meditation, if you can do it and have that time to be in complete surrender and serenity it will still make a difference. It’s not about how much time is spent on something but rather the quality of that. Allow that 10 minutes to be sacred, profound.

10. Ask for all the help you can get from where you know you can. you may get turned down, life is about risks. But always keep going.

11. Create time if you don’t have it. Give something up in order to gain something else. You may need to compromise on something for the time being to be able to create a prominent change/shift in your life. But make sure it is something that won’t affect your health and well being. Example; less time watching tv, more time spent on cultivating faith

12. Be very consistent in your efforts. Consistency towards something is what creates that energetic momentum which will eventually lead to a manifestation.

13. Daily affirmations and listening to affirmations when you sleep is also a great method to reprogram your subconscious and set you up for success. Again, so many free resources out there you can use, you just have to consciously use your will power and pray to receive the strength you need so you can push through.

I’ve linked my energy healing playlist as well as another energy clearing I listen to. I will also be posting more energy healings , always listen with the intention to receive. You don’t even need to pay attention when listening to those.

The meditation I linked says “love meditation” but I’ve used it to manifest other things and I’ve received answer to my prayers immediately.

I hope this helps and I’m sending much love to everyone needing this.

[basilf1res]

DP x DC Prompt - Zombie Jason

Jason didn’t know when it started, but when his left hand detached from his wrist the first time, it was safe to say he freaked out. What was worse was the patches of bruised skin slowly turning a rotting green.

It was chilling to look at, so he started wearing fingerless gloves that stretched beyond his wrists and covered enough of his hands to hide the decaying skin and flesh.

Perhaps the term “zombie” fit more than he thought. To add on, there was this pit in his stomach (not the pit madness, it had started to fade when his limbs started detaching, and was certainly silent now) that food never seemed to fill.

Deep down he was anxious that the hunger was for brains, but he knew that was just absurd.

He soon discovered he could completely remove his head, unscrewing it like a bottle cap on those cheap plastic water bottles.

Jason was starting to lose focus on the world around him, almost never during his vigilante work, but during everyday tasks. One time he was helping fix the bikes in the cave, replacing the worn down tires, when he spaced out. When Jason blinked, he was just sitting down at the dinner table, those already seated watching him carefully.

It made him feel sick, and he theorized he was dying again. So he started recording himself on tapes, logging how he was doing and the progress of the decay.

He started searching for a cure, something to hold him together.

He got more and more frenzied as the weeks flew by, similar to Tim on his sixth cup of daily coffee.

Jason started gathering things he owned, small trinkets and little gifts that he subtly placed around the manor. Alfred noticed the things first, seemingly oblivious to who was leaving them (he most definitely knew).

It hurt, but the gift giving made him happy, the rot wasn’t spreading as quickly if at all anymore! Jason was overjoyed. Spending time with his siblings made him feel all fuzzy inside, like someone took a phone and placed the vibration feature in the center his chest.

It wasn’t long before the rotting started to get worse again. Jason got into a fight with Bruce, he didn’t remember what it was about anymore, something about tests or reports on himself and his patrols around Crime Alley.

He threw his hand out to the side, a wide gesture of some kind when he felt the telltale sign of his left hand detaching from his wrist. The wretched squelching noise of the flesh tearing and the ‘schlop’ of the hand hitting the ground, splattering the cave floor with rusty reddish-brown blood. The birds and bats stared at the stump as Jason rushed to snatch up his hand, practically twisted the thing back in place.

Confessing that he believed he was dying again was the hardest thing in that moment. Jason told Bruce to fuck off, albeit wetly as his emotions refused to take a hike.

He left and the rest of the batfam begin researching relentlessly for some sort of cure. Dick, heartbroken over the ordeal, contacts Constantine.

“You need help with what?” The British magician dropped the cigarette he was twirling around his fingers to stare at Nightwing, Batman, Red Robin, and Red Hood. The last of the four standing off to the side, saying that he’ll be fine and he didn’t need magical medical help.

“Red Hood is starting to develop a skin condition where it appears he’s legitimately becoming a zombie, we need help finding some sort of medicine for him.” Nightwing states, stress pulling at his face.

John hums before turning to the man in question, “Take off your helmet.”

He was met with the sight of Jason’s face, but green patches covered his neck and jaw but no higher.

“Bloody hell…” Constantine muttered before reaching into his trench coat and pulling out a vial of Lazarus Water about the size of his pinky finger. “Do you know what this is?”

“Pit Water..?” Jason trailed off, the higher pitch at the end of his sentence making it sound like a question.

“Yes and no.” Constantine drawled, “This is purified ectoplasm, it’s been cleaned of any imprint or claim. It comes from the Infinite Realms.”

Batman grunted in a reply. “Hn.”

John rolled his eyes, “If I’m right, your decaying body should fix itself if you consume purified ectoplasm every week or so. If I’m wrong, the ectoplasm I have will not appeal to you and I’ll need to do some more digging.” Constantine’s attempt at being chipper fell short as he uncorked the vial and handed it over to Jason.

He stared at it, blankly looking at the shimmering, slightly metallic-looking liquid.

“We’ll go ahead, sniff it.” Constantine arched a brow that expressed he didn’t have time for this. “Drink it if it smells appealin- DON’T SWALLOW THE WHOLE BLOODY GLASS VIAL!!”

Jason had promptly done what he was told. To piss him off he just ate the whole thing - it wasn’t that but of a vial anyways - after a few moments he felt less brittle and fragile. He stuck his tongue out childishly. Snickering to himself silently.

Yeah. He could get used to the absence of the- hoLY FUCK WAS HE SINKING INTO THE CAVE FLOOR?!

——————————

I’m kinda brain-dead right now, I’ve dropped a pre-written Christmas themed fic to shift my attention to Project GH05T.

Here’s a blurb of Zombie Jason needing ectoplasm in order to keep himself from falling apart - literally.

Good night y’all. I wrote a majority of this in my study hall. 💀

[dollmaidcrystal]

During a period when Mistress was too focused on work to play with her submissives, I became too tight for her to comfortably fit two fingers into. As punishment, I've been assigned to train on the Motorbunny Buck, Mistress's fucking machine of choice, daily for a month.

Day 1: Is this supposed to be a punishment? This doesn't seem like a punishment at all.

Day 2: I'm already tired of having to run an extra load on the dishwasher every day, since it has the all-important "Sanitize" cycle for cleaning up the Motorbunny attachments.

Day 3: Daily training is starting to pay off. That last session felt good. Really good.

Day 4: Riding the fucking machine is not the punishment, it's having to clean up afterwards every day. I asked Mistress if I could have permission to move the Motorbunny to next to the guest showers. (She said no.)

Day 5: Barely avoided disaster today. I forgot to lock up the door to the dungeon when the municipal water inspector came by to look around the basement. Fortunately, I spotted my mistake while he was still taking his boots off upstairs.

Day 6: Skip day. Mistress was home from work, and she called "dibs".

Day 7: Experimented more with the higher vibration settings today and probably overdid it. I’m going to have to take it easy for the next few days while my poor sissy booty heals.

Day 8: Switched from the spiral dildo to the precision probe. Today's training consists of trying to find exactly where all of my spots are.

Day 9: Skip day. I had a doctor's appointment. Real life takes priority!

Day 10: To make up for skipping a day, I switched to the larger Doc Johnson attachment. It was too large to ride, so I had to use the vertical wedge stand to be taken from behind. Taking something that large felt sooo good.

Day 11: Oh crap. While moving the Motorbunny back upright, I heard a crack. The plastic casing of the adapter plug cracked in half. I jury rigged back together (with some scary sparks!), but that is going to be a problem.

Day 12: A warranty replacement for the adapter is already on its way. I am more impressed by the customer service than how good I felt after today's session.

Day 13: Skip day. Mistress came home from work early because she was feeling sick. My time was spent taking care of her and lecturing her about the importance of diet and daily exercise. Writing this down in my punishment journal, I'm glad she was too sick to notice the irony.

Day 14: After some experimentation, the Motorbunny hits my spots best if I’m leaning all the way forward or arching backwards. I'm pretty sure I should stick to arching back in photosets.

Day 15: Mistress is still sick, which makes these daily training sessions extra hard. When she's healthy, I know that riding the fucking machine is a warmup for being played with later, but now I know it's going to leave me extra frustrated for the rest of the day.

Day 16: I’m starting to crave something in my mouth during these daily rides. I’m not sure how to deal with that. Maybe I should bring a box of Triscuits to the dungeon tomorrow? Will that work?

Day 17: Bringing a ball gag down to the dungeon definitely helps with my oral cravings, but I feel kind of silly doing it. It doesn’t help that 🐶 is staring at me like he’s judging my technique at chewing a ball. "Bloody amateur can't even keep in in her mouth without a safety strap."

Day 18: Mistress had some time to personally supervise my training today. The splash image on this post comes from this session.

Day 19: The warranty replacement adapter just arrived! I think I'll leave the broken one in place and keep the new one as a backup. I said it once, and I'll say it again: I am seriously impressed by the level of customer service Motorbunny has.

Day 20: Pondering upgrades to the Motorbunny using the Bondage Erector Set. Reflective Desires has so many ideas that I want to steal.

Day 21: The cursed LureVibe fucking bear is now making the rounds. I wonder if I should upgrade from Motorbunny to Motorbear. https://lurevibe.com/products/doll-automatic-thrusting-vibrating-swing-machine-female-masturbation-device

Day 22: Mistress is upset that most of the pictures she took makes me look hunchbacked. I need to find a way to ride the Motorbunny that's more photogenic, apparently.

Day 23: Gross! I accidentally put another layer of condom and lube on the attachment and didn’t peel it off before washing. Now I have a layer of cooked on dry lube to scrub off my dildo.

Day 24: I can't figure out how to advance my training. Mistress wants me to train to be penetrated at a wider variety of angles (instead of the one that feels really, really good but looks awful on camera). What even is the best to train for that? Wiggle around on the dildo every day?

Day 25: Following a friend’s advice, I’m trying yoga on the Motorbunny to improve my range of positions. This is a weird experience, and not just because of how hard it is to hold a stretch while being fucked.

Day 26: Skip day. After Pride Weekend, I can't move.

Day 27: Flexibility training continues. I’ve learned I’m not going to be able to move which spots feel good, but I can move the rest of my body. Biggest bang for my buck seems to be in getting more dramatic back arches, followed by working on my range of leg motion.

Day 28: Taking a break from trying to improve my form. Instead, I'm putting in the thickest attachment I can handle and enjoying the ride.

Day 29: I'm putting off today's training to edit and post this punishment journal. I'm hitting post now so I can get back to training.

[ficthots]

Uncharted Territory

A/N: I am so sorry for the long wait. I hope this makes up for it. Josh and his assistant, badish boy goodish girl, fluff, angst, dirtiness. As always let me know what you guys think and enjoy!

Part II

Warnings: SMUT. DNI if you are under 18. 18+ only.

Word Count: 16.9k+

There are a few things in life that just outright suck no matter the spin you try to put on them. Running out of gas on the side of the highway during rush hour because you were running late for work this morning and were stupid enough to say I’ll just do it in the morning. Sucks. Dropping your phone down four flights of stairs because you decided it was time to stop being lazy by taking the elevator every morning and just climb the stairs. Sucks. You know what sucks most of all?

Job interviews.

They were never fun. You had seen many videos on the internet about how to present the very best of yourself in an interview, sell yourself to whoever was showing interest, make them realize they absolutely needed you in their work force. Of course you knew how to apply all of those little quips and tricks into the interview process. Did it make it suck any less?

Nope.

Interviews were still incredibly nerve wracking. Feeling like you were going to stumble over answers, blank on the simplest questions, not know how to apply all of your previous job history to what you were trying to get hired for. Despite how perfect you were for this job, it still sucked.

One of your closest friends had tipped it to you. Saying that one of their friends friends was going to be interviewing to be an assistant to some guy in a band. That there were four members of the band and they were getting so big so quickly that they were all going to be needing their own assistant to handle their daily work loads. 

She had nudged you at lunch one afternoon with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle, mentioning how she could get you an application and interview no problem. You had never heard of them before, immediately pulling them up on Spotify and seeing their monthly listener amount was significantly higher than you originally had assumed. 

It was exactly what you needed to get out of the hellhole you were trapped in now. Believe you me, you were well trained in being an executive assistant. It was what you were doing now, the only downside was your boss was a raging bitch. Your boss before her was not much better, but the experience you most definitely had. This could be your chance to break out of the corporate world of assistants and try something new.

What did you have to lose?

You submitted the application that evening with a resume and cover letter, not expecting anything to come of it. That’s why when you woke up the next morning and saw a message marked urgent from a name you were not familiar with, your stomach flipped. 

Opening the email and asking if you could make it to the first round of interviews the very next day, you were in a permanent state of shock. Agreeing, in a somewhat state of brain fog and letting your mind go to autopilot to handle the interview, it must have gone well.

So well, you were now sitting in round three of interviews after being informed that it had been narrowed down to two people per band member and you were the front runner for all of them. They would be the final interviewer and would be selecting their own assistant. 

Your hands were ice cold, but your mind was still nagging at you that they must somehow feel clammy, nerves wracking your body feeling like your bones were vibrating. Blood was rushing in your ears as you sat at a large conference style table, the view of Nashville quite breathtaking from the floor to ceiling wall of windows, but you were unable to truly take it in. There were five seats on one side of the table, one singular on the opposite side that you occupied.

It was like flipping a switch, putting all nerves at bay and standing as the door opened, offering a tight lipped smile, putting your hand out to give a firm and strong handshake to each of the gentlemen that entered the room. You only knew one, their manager, who had been at your other interviews.

The others were new. As you took them in, you made a mental note about one distinct feature of each to help you memorize their names as quickly as possible. “Mr. Frank, it’s a pleasure seeing you again. Thank you for seeing me through this far,” you took a seat as the others did as well.

He gave a beaming smile, tearing his gaze away from his notepad to catch your gaze. “Absolutely. Let me introduce you to these four. Directly next to me is Daniel Wagner,” he gave a small wave, noting his hair was going to be his distinct feature. “You can call me Danny.” You nodded politely at him, your smile never faltering. 

“Next to him is Sam Kiszka,” he was leaning far back in his chair, almost like he had been forced to be here and do this. He had a dog. “Nice to meet ya. Heard you are practically the best of the best so it’s gonna be a blood bath to claim you as an assistant,” you couldn’t hold in the laugh that bubbled from your throat at his nonchalant tone as he explained that to you. 

Your hands still resting on your lap, you nodded. “That’s very kind of you to say.” They all chuckled, Mr. Frank continuing down the line. “Next to Sam is twin two, Jake Kiszka.” Big hat. It was all you noticed about him honestly. Oh, and that he had a sort of pirate vibe to him. 

He offered nothing more than a slight hat tip and a small grin. You returned the same. Trying to match all of their energy that they were giving you and being a mirror to them was your strategy here. You didn’t care who you were assigned to as long as you were assigned to someone. Anything to get away from your devil of a manager now. 

“And all the way down there is the front man, Josh Kiszka. Twin one.” When your eyes locked with his, you noticed too many things at once to make a note of. You wouldn’t need to. You would remember him.

His eyes were bright and overly large as he peered at you. His cheeks were flushed with a light pink hue. His hands nervously played with each other as they rested on the table in front of him. His tongue continuously darting out to moisten his lips. His lips parted, a toothy smile appearing as he held a hand up in an awkward gesture. 

“Josh. It’s-uh, it’s nice to meet you. Aaron has said a lot about you, all good of course. We’re all very interested. Obviously, I mean in a professional way. Like we want you. As in for your work that is strictly professional. Jesus Christ,” he was speaking so fast and with each word his face grew more red in tint, his siblings stifling their laughter behind their hands as they watched him falter.

Mr. Frank’s hands came down onto the table, swiveling his chair from the direction of the boys back to you, eyes wide in amusement as he laughed. “Okay anyways. I want to first thank you for being so patient with the entire interview process. I know it can be draining and meticulous to do this and you have been outstanding, truly. This can be kind of a niche job and we wanted to make sure that we select the right candidates and that is most definitely you.”

Your smile grew as you thanked him, still remaining mostly silent to let him continue on. “Now, we want you to start as soon as possible. It’s my understanding that you’re currently employed elsewhere so you’ll be needing to put in a notice there, correct?” 

Falling into easy conversation about your notice for your current job, starting date for this position, and the mind boggling amount of travel that you would be doing over the course of their tour had your head spinning. Thrilled that they were so interested in you and that the shitty interviewing process was seemingly over had you trapezing on air.

As Mr. Frank set his pen down, he set his attention on the group, gesturing a hand towards you. “What have you decided?” They all spun around in their chairs, huddling together with their heads all bent in, whispering. The one with the hat- Sam? Damn it, that’s Jake, turned first giving a larger smile than before.

He had selected you. That was fine, you could deal with that. He seemed extremely lowkey and easy going. No problems there. Although, trying to get him to stay on task and get done what needs to be done could pose some issues. That’s what you were there for though, to ensure that he would get his shit together and done. What he wouldn’t complete you would do for him. It came with the terms and conditions. 

While your mind was reeling, already starting to go a mile a minute on what was going to be happening as Jake’s assistant, it came to a sudden halt. “You will be working with Josh. He needs the most structure and guidance to keep him on task and I feel like your personalities will really mesh well.” 

You subdued your surprised expression, keeping your face neutral. If there was anyone you thought you most definitely would not be getting assigned to, it was Josh. He could hardly look you in the eye and the boy was extremely jittery. 

When his beat red face met yours, you gave him a kind smile. It seemed like he needed it. You immediately reached into your bag, grabbing your card and handing it over to Josh and then proceeding to do the same with the others. 

“That’s fantastic. Mr. Kiszka, I look forward to working with you. On this card is my current contact information. I know I am Mr. Kiszka’s assistant, but please do not hesitate to reach out if you need anything. Mr. Frank informed me that I will be receiving a new phone with a new number so I will have that new information to you shortly, but in the meantime that is the current way to contact me if need be.” Mr. Frank’s smile grew as he watched how at the drop of a hat you switched into professional mode.

They all eyed you in shock, looking at the card in their hands like it was made of solid gold. Turning your attention fully to your new boss, you stuck your hand out, watching as he gingerly grabbed it, shaking your hand back. 

Cold. Nicotine use, you thought to yourself. It would explain why he constantly seemed flushed, but the circulation was poor in his extremities. You would get him on some vitamins to fix that, you made a mental note to start that immediately. 

Two weeks positively flew by. Packing up your office and hardly uttering any parting words to anyone, you felt a weight lift from your shoulders as you left the building. This next chapter of your life was going to be one you couldn’t wait to embark on. Subletting your apartment proved easier than you originally assumed. Where you would be staying on the few breaks that were scheduled, you would deal with later, but for the meantime, you were ready. 

Already having a copy of the key to his home, you sent him a fast text reminding him of your appointment with him that afternoon to start going over his schedule, so as not to frighten him when you let yourself into his home. When you pulled up to the curb, you noticed a white Jeep parked in his driveway. Only one car? Odd. Maybe there’s more in the garage. It is a three car garage. 

Walking up to the front door, you used the key, but noticed it was already unlocked. You sighed, shaking your head, but entered the home. It was beautiful at first glance. There was natural wood covering every square inch. The large living room was open concept to the kitchen and dining room. The back wall had large windows that showcased a woodland view. 

Continuing further inwards, your head inclined towards the hallway to see if you could catch sight of him anywhere. When he appeared from the oversized pantry, he jumped, hand landing on his chest. “Fuck! Jesus, you scared the shit out of me.”

He laughed, setting down the bag he had in his hand onto the counter, you chuckled and held up your phone and key. “Apologies. I did text you to let you know I was on my way. You did say text was the easiest way to reach you, right? By the way, you need to always lock your door. There are crazies out there and stalkers and if they find your front door is just unlocked, they will enter.” 

Setting down your belongings at the dining table you had noticed was set up for your meeting, you continued speaking, Josh approaching the table to join you. Opening your planner, checking your phone once more to silence it and place it face down on the table, your eyes met his as you took a seat. 

He didn’t sit, instead offering a large smile, motioning to the house. “Can I give you a tour?” You immediately agreed, standing from the chair as you leisurely began strolling around the home.

“And yes, text is the easiest way to reach me and I saw yours which is why the door was unlocked. I forgot you had a key,” you nodded as you eyed some artwork that he had hanging in one of the hallways. 

Walking around with him was like getting a front row seat to his entire being. How and why he decorated the way he did, his purpose behind it all. He was a fascinating man you were quickly learning. 

Getting back to the dining room, you sat with a large smile and undid the cap on your pen, taking in a deep breath and smiling at him. “Well, Mr. Kiszka, I appreciate you giving me a tour. Your home is breathtaking, really. We should get started. We have a lot of ground to cover in two hours,” his hands enveloped a cup of tea he had brought with him, taking in a large breath as you dove in.

It was thoroughly exhausting starting from scratch with a new boss. Having to learn about their daily habits and quirks. What foods they preferred and when they preferred them. Understanding how often they were on their devices. Memorizing their normal routines and schedules. Honestly, exhausting. 

As you checked over your notes, sipping the glass of water he had gotten for you, it was about time to wrap it up for the day. “Okay, I believe that is just about all I needed from you today. I will be sending over that boarding pass and itinerary. You know I should probably do it now while I’m thinking about it,” grabbing your laptop, you sent the email at lightning speed, Josh’s eyebrows shooting up in surprise. 

“Is there anything else you’ll be needing from me, Mr. Kiszka? Of course, you can always text me, call me, email me whenever, but while I’m here,” your eyes finally looked up from your screen to connect with his squinted ones. 

Leaning back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest, he shrugged. “Actually, yes.” You perked, sitting up straight to give him your undivided attention. “We are going to be spending a lot of time together,” you nodded, listening intently to him, “so I would like to know more about you.”

Shrugging, you fought within yourself about how to word your response to him without offending him in any way. “With all due respect Mr. Kiszka-” he cut you off with a roll of his eyes and a laugh, “Please stop calling me that. No one calls me that. Really, even Joshua, my government name, would be better.” You tilted your head at him, a disapproving look on your face.

“Mr. Kiszka. I am your assistant, your employee, your go to gal for anything you need,” you took in a breath, trying to explain this to him in the most professional manner you could, “however; I am not your friend. I am not paid to be your friend. I think in order for this to work as smoothly as possible and to ensure I get my work done and you get your work done, we need to recognize this as a boss and subordinate setting.” A smirk was tugging at the corners of his mouth, nodding with a chuckle. 

His hands were folded on his lap, one leg crossed over the other, the dark green jumpsuit not long enough to cover his entire leg when he was sitting like this, your eyes narrowed at him. “No, I completely understand that. You don’t want to be my friend-” you held your hand up to him, one singular finger pointing up, “I never said I didn’t want to be your friend, but that this is only a professional relationship.”

Rolling his eyes again, an amused look took over his sharp features. “Mhm. Well, as your boss I would like you to tell me one fun fact about yourself. Can be anything. Just one fun fact,” setting your jaw at his words, you thought of the most surface level fact you could think of.

“I don’t have a favorite color.” His head fell back, a large laugh shaking his throat. “Bullshit! Everyone has a favorite color. Whether it’s one that you tend to gravitate towards or one that catches your eye more often than others. You most definitely favorite one color.” Shaking your head as you packed up your things, you didn’t look at him. 

Slinging your bag over your shoulder, your hands held onto the back of the chair you had just risen from. “No. I do not.” You offered a shrug, starting towards the front door, your boss following you on the way out. 

When you turned around as you reached the door, his smirk never left his lips. “I’ll find out what your favorite color is. I’ll be the one to discover it for you.” You sighed with a laugh, turning on your heel as you took your keys from your bag. “Have a good night, Mr. Kiszka!” You called over your shoulder, hearing the door shut behind you as you made your way to your car.

Seeing the small bag sitting on your passenger seat you cursed under your breath, grabbing it and heading back to the house. Trying the handle first, you groaned as you realized he hadn’t locked it. “Mr. Kiszka!” His head popped back out from where you two had just been, coming back to the entryway.

“This is for you. Take one a day, recommended with food.” His eyebrows furrowed as he pulled the bottle from the bag. “Vitamin B concentrate. What’s this for?” Your hands were clasped together in front of you, smiling as you explained. 

“Nicotine use, right?” He nodded, a sheepish grin on his face. “That’s what I thought. Your hands are always freezing, but you’re flush constantly. Poor circulation is tied to nicotine use. Vitamin B concentrate aids with many things, but circulation is one of them.” He looked floored that based on one previous meeting you had gathered that information about him. 

Looking at you dumbfounded, he laughed, shaking the pill bottle. “Okay. I will add this to my vitamins list.” You pointed at him at the mention of that. “Send me that list. When we’re on the road it’ll be my responsibility to ensure that you’re always stocked. Oh, and lock the door!”

Nodding at you, he held the front door as you walked to your car once again. When your name echoed out into the air around you, you turned to face him. “Next time, you park in the driveway, okay?” You shot him a thumbs up over your shoulder, thanking him as you entered your car, heading home to begin packing for a trip you were unsure how to pack for. 

Less is probably more, you thought as you searched through your closet. When your phone began ringing, issuing an alert for an incoming Facetime call, you sighed, grabbing it amongst the pile of clothes you had taken out to begin folding and packing away. 

“Hi, mom and siblings.” Their smiling faces met yours, your mom diving right in. “Okay, first day with the new boss. How’d it go?” You looked at the screen, setting the phone up on your dresser, facing you so you could use your hands while still talking to them. 

Placing one packing cube into the luggage, you shrugged. “Busy. It’s still the beginning stages so it’s just a lot of memorization and observation right now. Taking over their schedules, trying to notice every single thing about them. It’s taxing,” your mom hummed in response. 

When your sister's voice came through the speaker, your attention immediately focused on it. “What’s the guy's name again?” Your hands went to your hips, shaking your head with a big grin. “Nope.” Her and your brother's groans caused static to come through the speaker.

“That’s so unfair, birdie. Mom knows!” You laughed at them. “The only reason mom knows is because she’s my emergency contact in case something happens while I’m gone. Not only that, but she wouldn’t know them anyways.” Her face reappeared, glasses sitting low on the bridge of her nose, peering at you from over the frame. 

As your siblings continued arguing with you, your mom spoke up over them. “Where are you going first, birdie?” Explaining the travel plans to her and where you were scheduled to touch down first, your siblings would jump in every once in a while to ask that you bring them a souvenir from that country you had just mentioned. 

Family was important to you. The guilt never subsiding at you moving halfway across the country to start your own life and leave your mom and siblings back home. You missed it. Them. Everything. But this was good for you. 

You recalled being teased growing up for not breaking out of your shell. For being too serious. Memories of older family members asking why you didn’t want to go play with the other kids in the playroom, teachers being shocked at your education levels, coworkers not believing your true age. 

They called you an old soul. You called it having to be an adult as a child. Taking on more responsibility than a kid ever should, but that’s what happens when “dad” skips town on the family. Someone has to step up and help. That fell to you. It carried behind you as you molded and shaped into a young adult and then an adult. All of your professional positions were too similar to what you grew up with.

Dealing with it for years was far too much. Leaving for college nearly killed you, but it was what you wanted. Needed. Each time you spoke to your mom, your heart would ache and guilt would seep into the cracks of your soul about leaving them there alone. 

It would never get easier. 

Standing at the curb at the airport, waiting for their van to arrive, an older woman, a man in his forties, and another younger man appeared next to your side. “You’re Joshua’s assistant, right?” Your eyes peeled from your screen to fully take her in as she spoke to you. She must’ve been at least in her fifties, wearing clothes you had seen your grandmother in nearly ten years ago, gaudy glass jewelry decorating her.

The older man was dressed like a typical dad, in fact, he more than likely was someone's dad. He had a notepad tucked under one arm and paper tickets in his hand that had your eyes nearly bugging out. The younger gentleman was dressed incredibly well, but refused to make eye contact with you.

Nodding with your eyes slightly squinted, you held your hand out to her to offer a shake as she continued. “It’s nice to finally meet you! I’m Patty, Samuel’s assistant. That one is Bob, Jacob’s assistant. The one on the far end is Monty, he is with Daniel.” A smile took over your face at her, trying to bite back a laugh. It seems that they had all picked each other's assistants for shits and giggles.

Based on what you knew of them, Sam got the older woman because she was going to drive him crazy. He had little to no patience. Bob was for Jake, basically a parent to babysit him on the tour to make sure he wouldn’t die. Monty was standoffish and seemingly an asshole by the way he eyed you as you stood there. Totally offsetting the easy going nature of Danny. 

What was the joke with you and Josh?

You had no time to dwell on it any longer because the van pulled up, you staying off to the side as Patty and Monty rushed to the van to grab their people. As each boy exited the vehicle, you gave a smile to each, chuckling as Sam flipped Danny off as Patty handed him sticky notes with her thoughts for him. 

Danny awkwardly stood in front of Monty as Monty did not utter a word to him, counting the bags that got off for him before turning and handing him the luggage tag and asking him if he had received the itinerary information he had sent last night.

Jake gave a seemingly large smile to Bob, feeling happy that at least one of them got along well enough with their assistant. They fell into easy chatter about his baggage and flights today. When his curly head was the last to exit, you gave a small wave to him, seeing his large smile take over his face when he saw you.

“Good morning, Mr. Kiszka. I already took care of your luggage with the curbside attendants so when they remove it from the van it will be tagged and moved. Your boarding pass should be on your Apple Wallet. I did get the TSA precheck done for us so that is one thing we won’t have to worry about the entire tour. Oh, and we also have global entry for the international aspect. Your seat is 24A, I am 26A, within reasonable distance so if you need anything just give me a shout.” 

His smile never faltered as you shot out all of that information to him, giving a shit eating grin to Sam, who looked like steam was about to cascade from his ears. As you both approached TSA with the group, the confused looks of everyone else as you two made your way to the precheck line was gold. 

“Hey, how’d you do that?” Danny grumbled, reaching the end of the line as you and Josh kept moving forward, Josh’s loud cackle echoing through the area. You two reached the gate with a laughable amount of time before the others. Scanning the area, you knew coffee was going to be needed in order to get through the long travel day ahead. 

“Starbucks is down that way.” You smiled at Josh, pulling out your phone to reload your app. “Thank you. What can I get for you?” He stretched, shaking his head and moving in the direction he had just motioned towards. “Oh no, I’ll go with you. We have a five hour flight ahead of us, before a two hour layover, and then another three hour flight. I need to be moving,” you nodded, the two of you walking towards the coffee shop in silence. 

He finally cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable by the silence you were drenched in. “Have you ever been to Europe?” You shook your head, grabbing your wallet out of your bag as you two stood in line waiting for your turn, the app not working as your eyes remained locked to your screen. “Never traveled outside of California and Tennessee.” 

You thought you heard his jaw hit the floor at your admission. “You’re joking?” Fighting a smile, you shook your head again. “No. I never traveled with my previous bosses and if I did it was just inside state limits. I would take over their office responsibilities while they were gone wherever,” his hand rubbed at his jaw. 

“And nothing for personal travel?” Sighing and reading the menu, your head continued in the same motion. “Opportunity never presented itself.” You could tell he had a million questions, wanting to know all the details about it, but your saving grace was being called up next in line. 

He tried to start up again as you both stood to the side of the counter waiting for your orders to be called, but he was cut off by your personal phone ringing. You smiled seeing your mom’s photo take up your screen, turning your body away from him to quickly and quietly talk.

“Hey, I’m at the airport. Boarding starts in about twenty minutes. I’m waiting for coffee right now. Yes, I will text you. Okay. Okay. Okay. Bye, you too.” Slipping your phone back in your pocket, he had a smirk playing on his face. Your order was yelled out into the busy shop and as you grabbed it, his order right next to yours, you knew you weren’t going to be getting away from conversation with him. 

Josh was practically rocking on his heels, itching to speak as he sipped his tea. “Was that your mom?” His lighthearted tone had an excited, but jokey manner to it as you fought the urge to roll your eyes at him. “Yes.” What you could have sworn was a giggle came from his mouth, a large smile still plastered on his face.

“What’s her name? Tell me all about your mama.” He nudged you, eyes eager and hopeful that he was about to delve into your past and learn about you, even just a bit. Luckily, as you approached the gate, the gang was just arriving, all frazzled as boarding was due to begin in just a few minutes. 

Biting back laughter and sipping your coffee, Sam and Danny quickly approached you, handing their phones over, you looked at them confused. “Whatever you did to get you and Josh through, please do for us.”

Josh had approached the counter and when he came back over to you, flashed his screen towards you. “26B. Seat buddies!” You bit back a laugh and smile you could feel forcing its way on your face. He was going to be too damn much to handle. 

Why were you excited about it?

The first few weeks were a blur on the road. It was a life you had never experienced before. Going to bed in one city, working in another for twelve hours, and then repeating it over and over. The days all faded from one into another. 

It was enthralling. 

This was something you had thought of, envied others for actually doing. Never knowing what steps needed to be taken to get the plans in motion. Staring at plane tickets sitting in your checkout cart, waiting, begging to be purchased. To go someplace new, try something new, meet someone new. 

Now, it was happening. 

It was exhausting. 

You had never been so sleep deprived in your life. Between learning how to sleep in a bunk bed in a constantly moving bus, insanely late hours after shows had concluded, and being up to watch the sunrise more days than not, you were still trying to adjust. 

How long does it take someone to embrace and thrive on a new schedule? You were still trying to answer that. Learning the ins and outs of your boss was proving easier than you originally thought. Josh was a simple, but still a somewhat complex person. Being glued to his side for three weeks meant diving into the nitty gritty of who he is. 

His food choices were quite limited, not offering many options due to the restrictions he was under for his job. You figured he would consume quite a few adult beverages, but not near as many as you had witnessed so far. He required much needed destress and alone time that he would typically meditate or reflect during. Josh called his mom nearly every single day, even if it was just for a few minutes to chat and check in. While he had a phone and used it, it was nowhere to the extent of most people his age. He appreciated a good coffee and would do his best to find a new place to try in every city you found yourself in. He always invited you. 

Every chance he could, your name was slipping from his tongue, offering a spot for you to go with them to the bar they were going to be visiting after they finished performing. If he was venturing out to explore a city and wanted to visit a coffee shop, his eyes would fall to you, asking to be his company because everyone else was too hungover to be out that early. 

He had wormed his way in with you in ways you hadn’t even noticed, but he did. Being up somewhat early to sit with you in the bus, basking in the silence as you peered out the window in awe of whatever you were whizzing by. Sometimes working, he would remain somewhat silent, but always finding a way to bring some chatter between you both. All he wanted to do was learn more about you, spend time with you. That’s why he always extended invitation offers for anything he was going to do to you. 

At first, you politely declined each invitation. However, after one too many late nights working, you decided a walk to the coffee shop he described in immaculate detail sounded quite nice. A change of scenery from the inside of a tour bus or the same walls of a hotel room that you couldn’t identify out of a line up if your life depended on it was needed to keep your sanity in check. Josh literally jumped for joy right in front of you.

It elicited a laugh, which was not unusual. He had quite the knack for humor, people around him constantly clutching their sides from his jokes and quips. What made you laugh the most though, was his natural personality. He wasn’t afraid to be himself, no matter how ridiculous he appeared to others.

Admirable. 

“A large mocha please. Thank you,” as you reached to pay, Josh’s card slapped onto the reader, instantly paying for your coffee. Shooting him an unamused look, you grabbed your phone, Apple Paying him for the exact amount with a smile. 

Rolling his eyes at you, he placed his own order before accompanying you at the table you had sat at. He gave a large smile as he plopped into a chair across from you. Tilting his head ever so slightly, he took in the side of your face as you peered out to the street outside. Trying to place what city you had arrived in without being awake and present for it.

“Your nose twitches when you think,” you were startled by the voice breaking the silence you had been sitting in. Your eyes fell to the boy and slightly narrowed at him, a smirk tugging at your lips. “Does not.”

He shrugged, leaning back in his chair, still clad in loungewear, hair a poofy mess displaying he had in fact just rolled out of bed fifteen minutes ago and eyes set deep littered with exhaustion. “Do too. Oh, thank you so much, Maria!” Without another moment to respond, your coffee order was placed in front of you and the muffin you had been eyeing was there as well. Right in the middle of the table.

Knowing you didn’t place the order for the muffin, your eyes fell to the indifferent boy seated across from you as he brought the scalding liquid to his pursed lips. “Did you know her or something?” His brow furrowed, shaking his head as he set the mug back down, subconsciously pushing the plate towards you a bit more.

“No, why?” Shaking your head, you brought your own cup to your lips, eyes falling back to the bustling street outside. “You knew her name.” Still seeming confused by your response, his pinky finger continued to push the plate in your direction. “Her name tag was pinned to her shirt.” Nodding at his words, you fought a smile.

Of course he would actually call people by their names, even if they didn’t want it, which you could tell took the young girl aback. That’s such a Josh thing, you thought to yourself. The more you thought about it the more you realized that Josh always called everyone by their first names. Any chance he could, he would. You couldn’t count the amount of times you had heard him asking people for their names. 

And he always remembered. 

Josh picked at the muffin, popping a piece in his mouth, making a motion with his hand to you with expectant eyes. “I won’t eat it all. I mean don’t get me wrong it’s delicious, but too much sugar.” You fought the urge to roll your eyes, taking a piece of the crumble topping and placing it in your mouth.

Playing off how amazing it truly was, Josh’s lips fought off a beaming smile, a small victory in his books. It had been weeks together, every single day, countless hours, but he wasn’t making personal hedgeway with you. Professional? It was unreal how quickly you had caught on to his schedule and attuned your work to his. Personal? Not a damn inch. 

You ordered your coffee quietly, too quiet for him to hear the full order which was excluding him from being able to order it for you just once. He had no idea what, if any, family or friends you had other than your mom because you had no social media presence anywhere. Not the slightest inkling to what food you enjoyed more than others because when you ate it was opposite hours of him. Josh didn’t even know if you liked their music because you hadn’t attended one of their shows. Pre-show prep was far too hectic for you to pay attention to anything other than your duties and you slept while they performed, but were present again for post-show to ensure anything he needed was taken care of. Worst of all, he hadn’t figured out your favorite color because all you wore were neutral tones and all of your personal belongings you kept packed away so he never saw them.

It was driving him mad. 

In order for Josh to get along with someone he needed a connection. Anything. You were offering nothing. Even Danny was making moves with his assistant who was a complete asswipe. The woman who was old enough to be Sam’s grandmother acted like that. A grandmother. Jake basically had their dad on tour with them. But Josh?

Nothing. 

Your goal on the other hand was working just fine. Productivity was at an all time high, it was a side of life you never thought you would be able to live in let alone enjoy, and you got along just fine with your boss. 

Because that’s what he is. Your boss.

Was it difficult to continue hiding aspects of yourself and personality to keep the relationship with him strictly professional? Yes and no. Obviously you were giving some signs because you were munching on a blueberry muffin that you had thought you gave no indication that you truly wanted it. So of course there was some leeway, but otherwise it was working fine. 

In order for this to continue on the successful path it was, you needed to play by the rules. Did you generate those rules? Yes, since there were absolutely none laid out for you when you started, but rules were there for a reason. To ensure everyone carried on with their work in the most efficient way possible. 

Honestly, it seemed like it was the only way you were going to survive nearly a year on the road with them. If you started getting personal, it would only make it much more complicated and difficult to get work done. Keep emotions out of it.

That’s the key to success right there. Josh despised it while you thrived on it. 

In fact, Josh never played by the rules. Bed times didn’t exist, alarms were never set, naughty things spoken without a second thought, he was the literal definition of fuck it. Which you discovered the more time you spent around him and his siblings that he was the one that needed the most structure in his life. That’s where you come in.

Was that the reason you were selected for Josh? That was what Jake had said in your interview, but given the jokey nature of the others and their assistants there had to be something more.

Providing a daily routine, schedule, something to keep him going at an acceptable pace. Executing it in a way that he didn’t tend to notice, making him think that he was still playing by his own rules. No rules. It took some time to get used to at first, but now it was a piece of cake. As easy as could be. 

However, Josh was working you a bit, too. That’s why you were eating a muffin top, laughing with him about the mishap on stage from the night before that you weren’t there to see, but had heard all about it. He was going to crack you, he just had to make sure you wouldn’t notice it. 

The alarm went off on your phone just as you finished the last swig of your coffee, eyes going slightly wide at the message on your screen. “Alright, we need to head back. You have an interview with a magazine in forty-seven minutes with Danny and then we need to get you to sound check for the show tomorrow night because the venue is closed tomorrow morning. There was an issue with the manager and he can only be here today so it needs to get done today.” 

Josh’s deadpanned expression on his face let you know that he was not excited for what the day held in store for him. Sighing and tilting his chair back ever so slightly, he looked out the window, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Let’s make a deal?” Shaking your head at his words, you placed your empty cup on top of the plate that now only held remnants of the muffin you had split with him. 

Did you split it? Or did you eat it all? No, you could’ve sworn he ate some, too. Are the dress pants you needed pressed on top of the black suitcase or tan suitcase? Josh’s jumpsuit should be back from the cleaners today, Jake’s suit should be, too. Make a note to call the cleaners and check on that. 

“Unless the deal is getting back to the hotel within the next ten minutes and making you look presentable for the interview, the answer is a resounding no. You need to wash your hair today, by the way.” He groaned like a teenager being asked to take the trash out, head thrown back, adam's apple bobbing as the noise escaped him, arms crossed over his chest. 

Grumbling as he finally stood from the table and following you out the entrance back in the direction you had come from. Never asking what the deal was, the afternoon went without a hitch. The interview was quick and efficient, sound check practically the same, you found yourself laying on the bed in your hotel room, eyes drifting shut as the air conditioner rumbled to life. 

You could feel yourself slowly falling into the warm embrace of sleep, teetering on the edge of a blissful nap until your next alarm would go off signaling it was time to get back to your responsibilities. The pounding at your door had your eyes flying open, your body sitting upright on the mattress and turning towards where the noise had emitted from.

Tilting one head to the side and feeling some of the tension in your neck release, you pulled the door open to see a frazzled Jake standing on the other side with a twin in tow. Before Jake had even spoken, Josh shot you a truly apologetic look. “I can’t find my suit anywhere. We leave for the venue in twenty minutes and I have no idea where it’s at. I swear to god if it’s lost I’m going to lose my mind. I’ve been calling and texting you, are you not near your phone?”

Your brain was trying to catch up with how quickly he was speaking and process the information he was feeding to you. Josh’s hands went to his hips, shooting daggers at his brother, but took a deep breath to calm himself down before exploding on him.

“Relax. We’re gonna find it,” you fought the urge to rub at your eyes, grabbing your phone from your back pocket and seeing that you had nearly thirty missed calls and texts from all of the brothers and assistants. The hairs on the back of your neck stood to attention, feeling dread pounding into you when you realized how long you had been asleep and that you had missed all of these messages from your boss. 

“Jake, your suit? It was with the cleaners and I had them deliver it directly to the venue so we didn’t have to transport it. I always have Josh’s jumpsuits taken directly to the venue so we don’t have to worry about it and I had the same done for yours. I apologize for not informing you about that. I am also so sorry for missing all of your calls and texts. I fell asleep and didn’t realize how long I had been out. It won’t happen again, Mr. Kiszka.” You could see Jake’s shoulders instantly release the tension he had been holding onto at your words, a small breath of air escaping through tight lips.

Josh’s intense glare never left his sibling, stance still the same as it was. “Apologize to her now.” Your eyes went wide, instantly going to say otherwise and how it wasn’t necessary, putting the blame solely on yourself. Your boss's hand came up, halting you before you could speak up. 

“No, no. He absolutely owes you an apology. You asked her to take care of your suit because Bob was incapable of finding a good cleaner and she did. I don’t appreciate you treating her like you are. She was resting, she is allowed to do that because her services were not needed for,” he checked his phone for a fleeting moment, “sixteen minutes. She and I have a system in place and if you would occasionally like her assistance, you need to treat her how she deserves to be treated. Apologize. Now.” Standing there positively gobsmacked and unsure what you were supposed to be doing in that moment, you watched as Jake’s jaw set. 

A small expulsion of air left his nostrils as he turned to you, clearly unhappy with what his brother was forcing him to do. “My apologies. I was not aware of the process with Josh’s wardrobe and I shouldn’t have spoken to you in that way and made assumptions like I did. Forgive me.” You nodded fervently, hands clasped together in front of your body, nearly refusing to make eye contact with him. 

“Of course. My communication should have-” Josh’s hand went up again, shaking his head and cutting you off. “Absolutely not. Jake is aware of the process and it slipped his mind. You did everything right. Jake, go.” His twin filed out of the room, not looking your way again as he left.

The heavy hotel door shut behind him and in what can only be described as a word vomit, you quickly spoke. “I am so sorry. I don’t know what happened, I thought I just closed my eyes for a second and I have no idea how the vibrations of my phone didn’t wake me up. I assumed he knew that his suit would be delivered to the venue and I shouldn’t have made that assumption.” 

Josh’s sincere smile took over his features, waving you off. “Don’t worry about it. He’s being an ass because he and his girlfriend haven’t fucked in weeks and they’re fighting. He’ll give you an actual apology in a day I promise.” 

That was the first time he had stood up for you. It wasn’t the last either. Tough spats between siblings often turned to their assistants when in bad and annoyed moods. It was expected with how much time they were spending with each other.

What wasn’t expected was every time another assistant, crew member, or sibling tried speaking in a way that was anything but friendly to you had irked Josh in a way that had him standing up for you in any way he could. Everyone knew to only step on toes once because Josh would set the record straight thereafter. 

You weren’t sure how to feel about it. In this line of work, it was almost part of the job description to be treated subpar. Not in Josh’s job description. He was so grateful that over the first half of the tour you had been so amazing with anything and everything that this job could encompass, he felt it completely necessary to defend you. 

Compared to the others, you were a literal saint. You never strayed from your job and its responsibilities. He hardly ever caught you on your personal device and when he did, you were wrapping up a call with someone who he could only assume was your mother. Your entire life revolved around him. Of course he was going to stand up for you. 

His siblings teased him relentlessly for it. They said it was incredibly obvious he was in love with you. Entirely enamored with you. Sam claimed he had caught him on more than one occasion just watching you. 

His favorite tale was at a winery in Italy. You stood off to the side of the tour group, a wonderful sundress lightly fluttering in the breeze, sunglasses alternating from resting on the bridge of your nose to the top of your head, your skin glowing from the late summer sun. Sam and Danny nudged each other, snickering as they watched their brother. They said Josh stared at you with his jaw slightly agape for nearly fifteen minutes. 

Was he taken aback by seeing your bare shoulder for the first time? The puffy sleeve of your dress resting on the tops of your biceps. The neckline dipping dangerously low over the curve of your chest. A single gold necklace with a dangling pendant of your zodiac sign resting soundly against you. The dress hem resting midcalf, the most leg he had ever seen from you. He was just surprised is all. 

That’s all. Nothing more.

Did he think about that afternoon for the next month straight? How smooth your skin would be under his fingertips, igniting and bristling as he traced every curve and committed every feature to memory. What kind of reaction would happen if you started with secret touches shared amongst one another. What you would do if his hand found home on your hip in front of everyone. How you would respond to him maneuvering your head to the side, allowing him unrestricted access to the large expanse of bare skin, goosebumps erupting as his breath fanned along your neck. Of course not. Anyways, he would never admit it to anyone if he did.

Which he didn’t. 

It didn’t matter because in his mind you were in no way shape or form interested in something like that with him. No, you only viewed him as a boss. Your boss. The boss. It’s why you refused to divulge any information about yourself to him. 

Sure, after the incredulous amount of time you had spent together, he was going to find out some things about you. Like how easy it was to make you laugh. He had a knack for it somehow because when Sam tried telling you jokes they almost always fell flat. That you were a diagnosed insomniac and he could almost always find you up in the middle of the night with a sheepish grin as you read a book. Oh, and that you adored trashy literature. Your book fell from your bunk and when he picked it up to put it back, his eyes widened at the utter filth adorning the page. His cheeks burned crimson for the next week whenever he looked at you. 

But that was about all. It was killing you.

The more you got to know Josh and the more time spent together, all you wanted to do was share some personal things with him. Instead, you fed tiny insignificant tidbits about yourself to him to not only keep him at bay, but you as well. That you loathed socks, were an avid watcher of Star Wars and all franchise shows, and that you preferred tote bags to actual purses. 

You highly doubted he even remembered those things about you, but deep down you knew he did. It meant too much to him to not. Each time he would ask you to accompany them on a night out, it was growing more and more difficult to turn it down. The more time you spent with him, which was nearly every waking minute, all you wanted to do was spend time with him in a nonprofessional setting.

That’s not good. That was what you knew would tip the scales and everything you had been working towards, every boundary you had set, would be out the window. Being on the road was proving to be a lot lonelier than you had originally assumed. 

Of course, there was some basic understanding that because of the limits you had put in place with the band that social interaction on a more personal level would be dimmed, you didn’t think it would be quite like this. With the few lonesome hours that you did experience, while it was a blissful and welcome break, you found yourself longing for someone to share the time with.

Why was your mind wandering to Josh? You spent the most time with him. That’s why. No other reason. Imagining tracing the slope of his nose with the tip of your finger. How his plush lips would feel against the pulse of your neck. Teeth nipping at the skin and soothing it with his tongue right after. 

Knock it off!

It was rare. Having three days off in a row. No interviews, no sound checks, no duties that had to be taken care of during that span of time. Where better to have that happen than in France. It was actual heaven. 

Many moons ago, one of your closest friends from high school had gone off to college and during one of her years, had taken the opportunity to study abroad. You can recall spending hours on the phone with her listening in great detail to her tales and trying to picture yourself doing what she had done. Of course, a majority of those things you could never do, but one small story had stuck with you through the years.

She had described a small village in France, an incredibly sleepy town that was the quietest place she had ever been to. The food was indescribable, the city was phenomenal with mainly mom and pop shops, and overlooking the ocean from anywhere you could look in the town. You had been fantasizing and daydreaming about this village since she had told you.

Now, it was your turn to be there. Waking up with the sun, getting ready as silently as possible as to not wake anyone up, and trying to sneak out of the hotel room. You thought you were golden until you heard your name leave his lips. You jumped with a start, hand landing over your heart. “Jesus! Mr. Kiszka, good morning.” 

His smile never diminished, eyes squinting at you being fully dressed this early in the morning. On a non-work day. “Good morning to you, too. Where are you off to this early in the am? Running off and leaving us all behind?” You gave a tight lipped smile, letting the hotel room door fully close behind you, your back connecting with the wood. 

Checking the time on your phone, you knew you needed to get a move on. “Since it is my day off, yes I am.” Josh shrugged, bottom lip lightly pushing out as his eyes fell downcast, a sigh following. “Oh okay. Well we’ll be around here if you need anything. Don’t think we’re doing anything today really. Just wandering around. Anyways, yeah I’ll have my phone on me if you need anything. Just give me a call or text. Whatever.” Guilt was worming its way into your gut as you watched his mood continue to sour, sighing quietly and checking your phone again.

“If you can be dressed and ready within ten minutes you can come with me. If you’d like,” his head snapped up at you, eyes bright with excitement. He calmed down, cheeks turning a light pink as he turned from your smirking gaze. “I wouldn’t want to intrude on your day off. You spend enough time with me as is.” 

There was that feeling again. 

Against your better judgment, it came tumbling from your lips before you could stop it. “No, I would love it if you would come. Really,” your smile grew at the end, seeing how excited he truly was to hear you say that. He was practically bouncing in his spot, joy seeping from him in waves. 

“If you insist! Let me just change super quickly and grab some stuff and then we’ll go.” You nodded, standing there waiting for the boy to reappear from the room directly next to yours. Nerves pummeled you, constantly checking over your shoulder to see if anyone was going to slip out of their own room and see you waiting for Josh. It was entirely ridiculous, he was your boss. No one would even bat an eye at it, but there was something screaming inside of you that this was going to be a bad decision. 

That something was going to shift today that you wouldn’t be able to take back. Maybe that’s what you wanted.

You didn’t have much time to dwell because he came bounding out of the room, green jumpsuit adorning his slight frame, hair a wild untamed ball, camera resting soundly on his arm. Josh’s eyes that once held your own fell down to where your gaze was currently sitting and he beamed at you. 

“I take it the jumpsuit was a good call?” You returned the smile, shaking your head as you began walking down the hallway. “Oh, of course. It’s just that’s what you were wearing during our first meeting. The color suits you very well, Mr. Kiszka.” He groaned as you entered the elevator together, turning to fully face you as it began its trek downwards. 

He placed both hands in a prayer formation, landing right under his chin, large eyes peering into yours. “Please call me Josh. While it’s just us today, okay? I won’t tell anyone. It won’t damage your resume, promise. Today, it’s Josh, alright?” You battled within yourself, gnawing on the inside of your cheek, forcing your mouth open, teeth sank into your bottom lip.

Eyes traveling up to connect with his once more, you let out a large sigh. “Just today. Okay, Josh?” He almost fell over as his name left your lips for the first time. In fact, he had no idea how to respond. Only nodding, swallowing thickly, he turned away from you, standing barely a hair from one another, his widened eyes stared at the elevator doors as they parted for you both.

His knuckles were stark white from the grip he had on the wooden railing that was around the entire metal box. Reluctantly letting go, he watched as you waltzed out into the lobby, second guessing every decision leading to this moment.

What the fuck had he done? 

The train ride to the town began as any other day would for the two of you. First, talking about the upcoming week and what it would entail work wise. Second, about what food Josh was hoping to find wherever you were going to be going. Third, Josh fiddling with his camera and talking nonstop to fill the silence that would linger between you both. 

You had gone through the motions within the first fifteen minutes. Then you did something entirely unexpected. 

“When we get there, can you help me find an antique shop or something like that? I haven’t gotten a gift for my sister yet and she’ll kill me if I don’t,” you chuckled at the end, peering out the window and taking in the majestic scenery zooming by. When Josh didn’t respond, you turned your attention over to him to see a blank expression sitting on his face. A complete deer in the headlights moment.

Your brow furrowed before realizing you had given him a fact of your life without even catching it. He cleared his throat, trying to redeem himself and play it cool, but he was about to bounce off the walls. “Sur-absolutely. How old is she?” He wasn’t holding eye contact, but you knew what he was doing. 

Fighting a smile, you turned back towards the window, chin resting on your palm. “She and my brother are twins. They are fourteen. I found something for him a while ago, but nothing for her.” Josh couldn’t contain his utter joy any longer. His hand went to his chest, pointing at himself. “Jake and I are twins!” 

Pretending to be shocked, you played into it. “Shut up! No way! I had no idea,” he rolled his eyes at your sarcasm, but a giggle flitted from him as his cheeks grew rosier by the minute. “Yeah yeah whatever. What does she like?”

You filled him in on all the details of your siblings, never revealing their names, the rest of the ride there. When you stepped off the train and got in a cab to get to the little town, and realization of where you were slammed into you, you couldn’t fight the tears that welled in your eyes.

Getting out of the car, it was like a burden had been lifted from your shoulders. The smell of the sea wafting through the air. The cobblestone streets that you had only dreamed of seeing and walking on. The locals carried on with their daily lives, where they were being of little importance to them. To you it was everything. 

It was the life you had dreamed of living. That once seemed so unobtainable, but now you were living it. Having escaped from the hellscape of childhood and young adulthood. Everything you had worked towards. It was here. 

A hand landed in between your shoulder blades, the cool skin signaling to whom it was pressed against the bare skin there. Offering a small smile to him, his worried look was plastered on his features. “You okay?” Taking in a deep breath, your smile continued to grow as you nodded in response.

“Never been better.” His face lit up at your words, immediately leading you towards the city center to start the day. Arm never leaving you, you wrapped your own through the crook of his elbow. Josh’s eyes nearly falling out of his head at the contact you offered him.  

It truly was one of the best days of your life. Sides ached from the amount of laughter shared between you two. Stories were given to one another about the tales of adventures shared with friends and family. Walking so close to each other you swore you could feel the goosebumps rise on his skin with each brush of your arm. 

Comfortable. Delightful. Electric. 

The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. The rays glistening and dancing on the ever moving water below it. Casting everything in its touch with hues of orange and pink. Complimenting all creatures with the sun kissed glow. The restaurant seated for amazing views of the coast. 

Sipping from your cocktail glass, you and Josh were cackling into them, earning stares from those occupying the tables around you. The view was breathtaking and you couldn’t help that your eyes would continue to wander to it whenever an opportunity presented itself. A lag in the conversation meant your smile was permanently stuck to your face, one of the best moods you had ever been in holding strong on you. The day had been beyond what you had dreamed of. 

The company wasn’t too bad either.

“Craziest thing you’ve ever done?” Snapping out of your own thoughts, you turned towards the boy seated across from you, hands folded on the table as he leaned towards you. Sighing with a shrug, you took another sip of your cocktail, shaking your head. “Good try.” 

He groaned, slightly leaning back into his seat, nearly giving up before he gave a hefty shrug of his shoulders. “Yeah I figured. It was worth a shot though. I’ve pushed my limits with you today. Not only that, but you’re a complete goody two shoes.” It was at that moment something clicked in you. 

After being so cold towards Josh for so unbearably long, just trying to keep things on a professional level, he had hardly ever pushed you to share information you weren’t comfortable with. Sure, he would annoy the hell out of you to find out any information he could, but he knew boundaries and didn’t push them. 

And you despised being called a goody two shoes.

“I took my moms car when I was a senior in high school and drove to Las Vegas with my friends during senior ditch day. My friend had gotten us fake ids and we used them to gamble what little money we had in the casinos and get drinks. We ended up so plastered we had to get a room for the night and put it on one of my friends credit cards. My mom thought I was just staying at her house for the weekend. That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever done. Oh, and I was high for a majority of the time.” Your eyes were squinted in his direction, challenging him, trying to read his reaction, his jaw hanging slack.

Who’s the goody two shoes, now?

He blinked multiple times, trying to come back to his senses before shaking his head, a loud laugh shaking his entire body. “Holy fuck! That’s actually insane. Did your mom notice the miles on the car?” Finishing off your drink, you thought about that. “You know, I actually don’t know. If she did she never said anything about it. I never acted out or did anything so I think she was just happy I went and did something fun, but those days are behind me. One and done you know? She always used to say that her birdie needed to learn how to fly. I think that was her way of letting me,” Josh’s soft smile warmed you from your head to your toes, spreading throughout every limb, settling low in your stomach.

Tilting his head at you, his smile grew. “Birdie. Is that your nickname?” Your cheeks grew hot, not even noticing that you had let that slip. Only nodding in response, he winked at you. “I love that. It’s so,” his eyes continued to watch over you as his smile grew, “you.” You didn’t know how to respond, not knowing if it was a compliment or not, but Josh continued on. 

“Mine is nothing like that. Growing up in the midwest, underage drinking was the norm. It was how we passed time. Mine’s dumb compared to yours. I went skinny dipping once and got my clothes stolen by my brother. Had to walk over a mile home butt ass naked. At least it was summer though,” you were laughing so hard you had tears streaming down your face, trying to catch your breath.

Josh rolled his eyes at you, face burning bright red, arms crossed over his chest. “Yeah yeah yeah, whatever.” As you settled down, wiping at your face with your napkin, you felt a sense of boldness wash over you, speaking before you could think twice about it. “I’ve always wanted to skinny dip.” 

It was like flipping a switch. Watching as his eyes turned from one of joking to instantaneous mischief. Setting your now empty glass on the table, you began fervently shaking your head and a continuous chorus of no’s left your mouth. He nodded, entirely ignoring you and quickly standing from the table, the bill paid over an hour ago.

Dragging you through the streets, laughter bouncing off the surrounding buildings, you couldn’t catch your breath as his hand held a firm grasp on your arm. His chilly hand clamped to your forearm, grip never relenting despite the tiny fight you were putting up to actually escape from him. 

Unsure of where he was leading you, your head was on a swivel, trying to place your location, but it didn’t seem to matter because Josh seemed to know this place like the back of his hand despite never having been here before. When a small lake appeared, your laughter died down to giggles as you peered at the boy.

“How the hell did you know this was here?” A sheepish smile took over his face, cheeks going rosy as he bashfully kicked his leg around. “Walked by it earlier. Do you not remember that?’ You tried thinking back to earlier in the day when you would have made your way by this, but when you were about to say you truly didn’t it dawned on you.

Your mouth fell open and your palm landed on your forehead. “Oh! That’s right. We were going to the, the, the-” you were snapping your fingers, trying to place where you were heading before Josh cut you off, “the patisserie.” Your smile grew thinking back to the chocolate concoction you had consumed just hours before. 

Sitting on the grass with a sigh, you felt elated. “Thank you for coming with me. Seriously, I think you made the day ten times more fun than I would have ever had by myself.” He took the spot next to you, stretching his legs out with a groan, knee nearly knocking with your own, resting his arms behind him. “You’re just saying that. Trying to get in my good graces. I know your tricks,” laughter fell from you both as you nudged him with your shoulder.

“Damn right. Better give me a great performance review,” you two fell into a comfortable silence as the sun finally disappeared, only basking the area in a gracious moonlight that seemed to illuminate the entire area, reflecting perfectly off the calm lake water. 

Josh was nervous. He kept playing with his lips. Teeth nipping at them, tongue darting out over them, sucking them into his mouth. The last thing he wanted to do was to ruin a perfectly fantastic day by frightening you off, but he had a feeling he wouldn’t do that. “Alright, what’s up?” You turned your head to look straight at him, catching him off guard as you did. Smile never faltering, trying to get him to relax.

Why was he freaking out? You watched as his eyes wandered your features, knowing exactly where he was going. That’s why he was freaking out.

You weren’t. 

This is your only chance to do something like this. Who better to do it with than Josh? Don’t be a coward. Just do it.

Standing from your spot, Josh’s fuzzy brows drew together as he monitored your movements. Stepping out of the sandals you had worn, undoing the zipper on the side of your dress, you watched as Josh’s eyes grew as wide as saucers, truly rivaling the moon. He started to stutter, sticking his hand out to stop you from stepping out of the fabric.

“Oh my god, no no. I was totally joking,” you beamed down at his nearly frightened features, skin burning at the contact of his fingers wrapped around your wrist. “I wasn’t. I’ve always wanted to skinny dip. Either you can join me or you can watch or you can turn around and face the trees to not see me,” with his hand still around your wrist, you finished removing the dress from your figure. 

It fell in a pool around your feet, eye contact never breaking with him. Watching his adam's apple bob in his throat, breath stuttering, hands having a slight tremble. He was terrified to look down, to see you in a light he hadn’t before.

Standing only in your panties and bra, your breathing was more even than you anticipated. It felt right. Like this was meant to be happening. Here. With him. 

It feels right.

Walking away from him, your hands went behind your back, unclasping your bra, the straps fell down your arms. Tossing it to the side, you stopped on the edge of the water. Taking a deep breath, you lifted one leg, stepping out of the panties and removing them from your boiling skin.

It took every ounce of courage you had to turn your head over your shoulder and look to the stunned boy still sitting in the grass. The moonlight was basking you in an aura he had only dreamed of. Turning to stone as he sat mesmerized by your utter beauty, unsure of what he should have been doing at that exact moment.

The question answered for him as your singsong voice rang out into the still air. “Are you coming or what, Josh?” Realizing at that second that he wasn’t dreaming, that you were real and standing before him in the way you were was almost too much to handle. 

Moving to autopilot he hastily stood, undoing the buttons of his jumpsuit, leaving the article of clothing right next to yours. Watching in awe as you moved into the water, laughter and giggles flitting out into the night. 

As he became fully nude, you had turned in the water, letting it approach your chin, monitoring every movement that he made. Despite every time you had thought about this moment, the nerves you thought would be coursing through you, it wasn’t like that at all. 

Basking in comfort, enthralled that you were doing this with him, contentment with how the day had gone. What a beautiful way to end the day.

Swimming out to meet you in the lake, his teeth chattered, the cool water embracing you both despite the sweltering temperatures that the day had held. Your hair was drenched, the water droplets dripping down your face as you beamed at him.

“Thank you for doing this with me. Total bucket list thing right now,” he laughed, moving slightly closer to you as he did. “I’m glad I could be here to influence you in this way. Time for you to act out a little. How does it feel?” His excited eyes greeted yours, truly interested in your response.

Something changed in that instant. The giggles had died down, instead a heat had replaced it. Your smile didn’t falter, but you felt a more serious nature take over. Nodding your head in response, you crept closer to him, your voice whispering out into the air between you both.

“Really good.” Josh felt it too. An intensity he hadn’t been expecting. One that he felt you were acting on, wanting to embrace this. With him. 

Deciding to not let logic and rules define you in that moment, you closed the gap between you two. It was incredibly soft, gentle, exploratory. His tender lips cradled yours, hardly applying any force. Afraid that if he pushed too hard it would scare you off.

Letting your arms circle around his neck, your bodies connected, igniting every nerve ending you had. Josh’s hands splayed across the bare expanse of your back, leaving the water with a splash as he held you for the first time.

Deepening the kiss, your mouth opened for him, letting your tongues brush against each other. Unable to hold in the small whimper at the blissful feeling, Josh took that as a positive sign. 

You were needing this, craving this, just as much as he had been. When he felt your fingers tangle in his damp locks and lightly scratch his scalp, tugging right after, he pulled you closer to him. There was little space left, but he wanted none. 

Noses hitting, breathing growing heavier, Josh’s hands moved from your back to under your legs. The underside of your thighs were gripped by his fingertips, motioning for you to wrap your legs around his waist. 

Immediately, you did. The tip of his cock brushed against your bare core, eliciting a strong gasp from you. Just the small contact had you desperate for more, butterflies filling your lower stomach, heat coursing through you. 

Your skin was positively on fire, never wanting this contact with him to end. As Josh went to exit the lake, you still wrapped securely around him, you quickly detached. 

Moving to where your clothes were haphazardly thrown onto the grass, you grabbed both items and laid them out for you to lay on, some barrier between you and the ground. When you were on your back, staring up at the boy whose gaze was one you had never experienced before, it was unlike anything you had ever seen before.

The moonlight held him in such a gorgeous glow, illuminating his wet and glistening skin. His hair was dropping into his eyes, but his veiny hand pushed the locks out of his line of sight, not wanting anything obstructing his view of you. Dazzling smile greeting you, lips darker than normal due to the chill he felt and the nature of which they had just been involved in. The droplets falling off of his skin onto you below him cause a sense of jealousy to erupt in him. How unfair that they were able to touch you and be one with you when he couldn’t. He didn’t want to waste any time with you, dipping his head down and connecting your lips once again.

Your budded nipples were achingly hard under his hands. They tweaked and teased you, back arching into his grasp, positively desperate for more from him. With each movement he did, you could feel him brushing against you.

It was driving you mad. Your hips were bucking to connect with his. Stilling as his lips suckled around one of your breasts, a shaky moan attempting to escape your throat. He matched his motions on the other, never neglecting the opposite as he did.

His lips landed in the valley between your breasts, placing deep, chaste kisses down your sternum, stomach, hips, and thighs. Hands held firm to your waist, not wanting you to slip away from him. Terrified that this was a far too realistic dream. Where he would wake up like a horny teenage boy after a wet dream.

Yet as his eyes connected with yours, breath fanning across your core, he knew it was reality. Flattening his tongue on your core, your head fell back. Back arching off the ground as he began eating you like a starved man.

Like this was all he needed to survive. What he had been fantasizing about. Trying to imagine the taste of you, nothing could even compare to what was landing on his tastebud’s. Eyes rolling into the back of his head, the sounds coming from you stirred him on. 

Wanting nothing more than to taste your release on him, he lapped at you, sucking your bundle of nerves into his mouth and holding it there, sending you over the edge into a mumbling mess.

When he came back up face to face with you, the tears that escaped from the corners of your eyes worried him at first, but quickly diminished as your hands landed behind his ears, dragging you to him. Teeth nearly clacking together, his breathing grew more uneven.

Your hand went between your bodies, leading his throbbing cock to your soaked entrance. Connecting your eyes once more, he wanted to be sure. Not wanting to taint anything between you both. 

“Are you sure?” Not a moment of hesitation, you responded with a breathless yes, sealing it with a small peck. Josh couldn’t wait a second longer, letting his tip enter you. Taking it inch by inch, you welcomed him with no fight. 

Josh’s pace was slow and deep, wanting to savor this. As your legs hiked around his waist, your lips never parted with each other. Pants and moans mixing together, breathing the other in, head dizzy with arousal.

You had never felt so welcomed and embraced with someone as you had with him. This was everything you had been thinking about since you had first seen him. Knowing him, growing closer with him, anything with him. 

He made you feel wanted and despite all your attempts of keeping him out, keeping him complacent, it was all for not. Josh was a force that you couldn’t fight, didn’t want to fight. Wanting to fall into him, let him know you inside and out, it was pointless to go against it.

But you had to. Just not at that moment. No, in this moment you could accept it, envelop in it, rejoice in it. Letting him treat you like the almighty being he wanted to. Walls crashing down for just a bit. Right now, it was all about you two mingling together. 

White hot heat flashed behind your eyes, body contracting as your orgasm flooded your senses. Tense muscles crushing Josh to you as he emptied out in you momentarily after you. His body shook with pleasure, whimpers falling against your lips as you attempted to catch your breath. To come back down from the intensity of the evening.

Savoring in the closeness for now. For now. 

The train ride back into the city was incredibly peaceful. You sat next to Josh the entire ride home, head resting on his shoulder, drifting in and out of sleep after he whispered to you that it was too late to be up and to rest. 

So, you did. At one point, his own head rested on your own, his warm cheek pressed against the crown of your head, his breath spanning across the top of your hair. When you woke up and saw both of your fingers entangled together, you almost didn’t want to reclaim your own hand. It felt right. 

It shouldn’t have.

That’s why the moment you stepped off the train, it was a sense of dread sitting heavy on you. It was like everything and anything that could have changed, did. Stepping towards your hotel room door, Josh’s hand gripped your waist, spinning you back towards him and colliding his lips with yours.

You didn’t fight, argue, try to stop it. Sinking into it, him. Letting your lips mesh together in a way that was a sense of comfort and security. Him letting you know that this was where you were meant to be. Something you had never felt before. You didn’t want to feel it. You couldn’t. 

That’s why when you two separated, him going into his room and you yours, you laid flat on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Tears slowly trickled from the corners of your eyes, hand clamping down over your mouth to silence any noise that could have been coming from you. 

You had known it from the minute you had seen him. It was going to end poorly. If you were anything other than extremely professional, setting firm boundaries, not allowing him any way in, it was going to end up a complete shit storm.

It was on the horizon. The gorgeous skies that seemed as though they were hand painted by the most talented artist you had ever seen before the black clouds would roll in, wreaking havoc on anything in its way. You were slowly watching it morph and change the aura around you. 

He had captivated you, drawn you in so quickly. The most interesting being you had ever encountered. Wickedly talented beyond measure. A careful and caring being, wanting to cause no harm, only leaving a trail of happiness and good behind him. He did. 

Staying away from him and the true being he was, was torture. He wanted to know you, see you, embrace you. Love you. You could feel it, see it in his eyes. The way he admired you, gazed at you, he just didn’t want to frighten you off. 

This had to be the only encounter that you experienced with him. Anything more would mangle and wreck you both. This was already going too far too fast. 

Hearing and feeling the vibrations of your phone, you tried to ignore it given the incredibly late hour, but decided that if it was work related you needed to answer. Grabbing the device and seeing your moms photo filling up the screen you groaned, knowing you were in no condition to speak with her, but remembering that it was a rare chance when you could actually talk to her. 

“Hi mom!” You tried to sound as cheery as you could, knowing your mom bought it when her chipper voice echoed out into the room. “My birdie girl! How is my little globetrotter? Are you working hard? Have you been eating? What time is it there? Are you supposed to be sleeping right now?” She left little room between her sentences to give an actual response, but as you answered her plethora of questions, you felt your chest growing tighter, knowing that morning was growing closer and closer. 

You made a decision that night. Carry on like normal. Act like nothing had happened and continue on with life, living like one of the best nights of your life had actually never occurred. A figment of your imagination. No matter how bad it hurts. 

He was waiting for you the next morning, bright and early knowing you were going to go for a little walk. It scared the ever loving shit out of you, jumping nearly ten feet in the air. “Jesus! You have got to stop doing that,” you chuckled, hand landing over your heart.

“Apologies. I was just thrilled to see you this fine morning,” and he truly looked as though he was. His eyes were slightly hooded as he peered at you. Cheeks a light pink. Hair somewhat smoothed down, but still a disheveled mess. Same outfit adorned as always. 

Your pulse was a million miles a minute as the smell of his cologne flooded your senses. Needing to nip this in the bud and quickly, you spoke up. “That’s very nice of you, Mr. Kiszka. I should be back around eleven this morning. If you need anything in the meantime please feel free to text me.” Offering as pleasant of a smile as you could, you watched as he rolled his eyes.

“I thought we were past that.” Your brows quirked, trying to play the part of not understanding why the nature of your relationship would have changed. “Mr. Kiszka, with all due respect, you are still my boss. What happened last night was out of line for both of us and I think that we should act as though it didn’t happen. Please.” 

Your eyes held his stare, seeing the expression of bewilderment take over his features. “Are you joking?” Shaking your head, he moved away from you, staring as though you had scorned him. Perhaps you had. “I thought-I thought that we had made some serious progress yesterday. That we were moving in a better direction for us,” his hand moved between you two. 

You fought the nerves vibrating in you as you stood strong. “I apologize if that’s the message I displayed to you yesterday, but no. I would prefer if we could remain the same. Strictly professional.” His jaw hung slack, eyes growing wider at your words.

His hands rubbed at his eyes, a harsh laugh escaping his lips. “This has got to be some sort of fucking joke. Birdie, I cannot just forget what happened yesterday!” You winced at his tone, hearing the intensity setting in it. “I know it meant a lot for you, too. Don’t pretend like it didn’t.” 

He was reading you and he was doing it well. Sighing, despite every instinct in you screaming to just fall into it, let it happen between you two, you continued to hold strong. “No. I apologize for letting things get too far.” 

Staring at you in utter disbelief, every emotion displayed across his face. “So that’s it? Not even friends?” Hesitating, only briefly, you shook your head. He wasted no time, pushing past you and going back into his hotel room.  

The rest of the day was spent miserable alone. Wandering the streets until eleven, just as you had stated, was unenjoyable. Your mind was rushing, wondering if any chance of a normal relationship with him had gone out the window. 

Regret. 

Standing in the lobby the next morning, you were exhausted. Hardly having slept the night before didn’t matter when you needed to work. Waiting for the group to emerge with their own luggage in tow, ready to head to the next location. It was best to use one of the free days for a travel day. It got you there sooner and gave you an extra day to explore a new place. 

They were easy to spot and hear, their own assistants and other tour employees following in tow. You offered a tight lip smile, clutching your planner to your chest, breath stuttering in your throat. You had to do this. 

It was the only thing that would make this work. Stick to the plan. Don’t give up. It’ll go back to how it was. 

“Good morning, Mr. Kiszka. I have already emailed you the travel itinerary for the day, there is a coffee waiting for you in the van, and I did find you an extra phone charger since your last one was left behind.” A light joking tone came with your words, but as you spoke, Josh’s smile diminished the second he laid eyes on you.

This wasn’t what he was expecting. At all. Despite you having agreed that calling him by his first name was just for the lone day, he thought that after what had happened, you would continue to do it. That the cold and steely demeanor you had been using with him since the start was cracked and gone. He felt stupid. Used. 

Wrecked that what progress he had thought he had made with you would bring some sense of change. That you would feel more comfortable with him. Possibly even returning the feelings he had been fostering and harboring for you. Ridiculous. 

Only murmuring a thank you under his breath, he walked away from you quickly and towards the van. You sighed, eyes briefly closing as your thoughts swirled in your head. 

This was for the best. He’d get over it.

Turns out that Josh holds a grudge a lot better than you assumed he would. For such a cheery and pleasant person, you truly didn’t expect him to continue to practically give you the silent treatment for weeks. He refused to hold eye contact with you, only spoke to you for pressing work matters, the whole shebang. 

Thinking that this would make it easier, better even. Him only giving what you did on a daily basis. It was the total opposite. It was miserable. You dreaded getting up in the morning and having to deal with work matters. 

The following few weeks, you were at the lowest you had ever felt. Never having had a close relationship with a boss before, let alone what you two had done and said to one another, proved that your way of handling and dealing with things was the only way to make things work. Don’t get close. You’ll only get burned in the process.

Everyone else had noticed the shift between you two as well. Jake had tried bringing it up with his twin, but immediately was shut down. He relayed the message to the others not to bring it up, whatever had happened obviously still too raw to handle. No one enjoyed being around a grumpy Josh anyways. 

He would transform into a truly awful person to be around on a daily basis. His normal patient, wondrous, and joyous persona would disappear and morph into one of the complete opposite. Locking himself away in the various hotel rooms, bus bunk bed, not wanting to see or speak to anyone. No performance he gave good enough or to the impossible standards he was holding himself too. 

It wasn’t good.

That’s why when you were sitting at a desk in a hotel lobby, battling an airline over a ticket mixup, the spitting image of your boss in another life sat across from you, you knew what it was about. Hanging up the phone call with a sigh, you tried to force a smile on your depleted and tired features. 

“Mr. Kiszka, what can I do for you?” He removed his sunglasses, sitting them on the tabletop next to his resting arm and peered at you. “For starters, you can fix my brother.” Going to speak, he held up his hand, shaking his head. “Look, I don’t need all the details. All I know is that something happened between you two. It needs to be repaired because the way you two are trying to carry on is not cohesive for either of you. Just try and fix it.” 

Eyes falling downcast, you felt the weight of the situation sinking further onto you. “What if I say I don’t know if it can be,” Jake shrugged that off like it was silly to even suggest or think. “He likes you. In more than one way, which I’m sure is the root of this, but it’ll be fine. Talk to him. Josh, he-” taking a moment, rolling his eyes as well, he continued on, “likes to talk. Talk to him and get it worked out.” 

Standing outside of his hotel room, trying to muster up the courage to just knock, you were quite literally spinning in circles. Turning on your heel over and over, attempting to psych yourself up to just do it. 

Knock on the door.

The decision was made for you as it flew open as you lifted your hand to connect with the wood. A confused Josh stood on the other side, dressed like he was going to be going out. Instantly being able to tell you needed him for something. For what? That he didn’t know. 

“I thought we finished work at three today?” He asked, checking his phone for the time. It was far past that time. Shaking your head, you decided against what you were going to do. “Oh no, I apologize. It was for something else, but I see that you’re busy and heading out. We can do it later,” turning around to go across the hall to your own room, he still stood in the door frame.

He could easily tell how nervous you were. You didn’t hide your nerves well. Gnawing on your cheek, eyes constantly darting around, hands unable to remain still. It screamed at whoever you were projecting it to. In this case, Josh.

“No, no. I was just going to grab a drink.” Gulping, you began talking quickly. “Oh okay. I just wanted a quick second in private if you don’t mind. I don’t want to be a bother during your free time though so if you’d rather wait that’s totally fine, I understand.” His eyes slightly widened at your hastened words, holding his door open farther, a welcome to you to enter. 

You stepped in, seeing that the room was nearly spotless. Given, you had just checked in this afternoon, but still. You didn’t want to touch anything. Encroach on his personal space. Instead, you stood to the side, hands folded with themselves, trying not to look directly at him.

Observing you from his own spot, he was uneasy. Josh doesn’t do confrontations. Despite how much he enjoys talking and listening to others talk, he despises it when it’s negative. This wasn’t going to go well. He could just tell. 

“I would like to hand in my resignation, Mr. Kiszka.” 

He thought he was going to fall over. Out of every possibility, every scenario that could have happened. This is not what he was expecting. At all. Entirely floored, staring straight at you with his jaw slack, he started shaking his head. 

“No. Absolutely not. You can’t.” You had never felt such dread when quitting a position before. Normally, they were exciting. On your way to the next best thing. This was different. It was the best job you’d ever had with the best boss you’d ever had. 

It was killing you. 

“I think this is for the best. I can be around for as long as necessary until you can find a replacement and I will train them if needed.” Josh sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands, rubbing at his face. “We never should’ve slept together. Everything was going great. God, I regret that.” 

He wasn’t expecting your laugh to echo in the room. Snapping his head up at you, he was greeted with your smile and accompanying laugh. “I don’t. It was amazing. The entire reason I’m handing in my resignation is because I cannot continue to do my job and be in love with my boss.”

Watching as his face went blank as you continued talking, you had no idea what he was actually thinking. Since he was a person who wears their emotions on their face, when he went emotionless like this, it was even more nerve wracking. 

Uncharted territory. 

“I have fought it since we met. Seriously, the moment I saw you I knew this was going to be trouble. The more I got to know you, the more I fell for you. Keeping my professionalism and decorum has been so damn difficult because of you. And-and then we had that day together and it was incredible. I love you, Josh and I cannot keep working for you while I feel like this. It just can’t work because-” you didn’t get to finish before Josh was propelled up from his spot, hands cupping your cheeks as he pulled you to him.

Lips connecting in a messy and needy encounter, pawing at one another to get as close as possible. This wasn’t like the last time. This was desperate, angry, and resentful. Apologetic. 

Hardly finishing undressing before he was in you, hopelessly pounding you into the mattress below him. Unrelenting, a pace that knocked the wind out of you with every thrust. Unable to think about anything else other than Josh, Josh, Josh. 

He became your entire being at that time. Only allowing your thoughts to be riddled with him. No other noise allowed except his name falling from you like a prayer. 

How could you think of anything else when the man that was Josh was around. How stupid.

When you both had finished, his hands released their punishing grip on you. His fingertips left indents in your skin, sweat beginning to pool on his brow. Instead, his lips landed on each mark he had left on you. A searing memory of him. 

One you wouldn’t forget for a long, long time. 

Not wanting to break the peace that sat over the room. Too much left unsaid, but not willing to jump in right away. Wanting to bask in the comfort that followed him like a security blanket. 

Instead, you stared at Josh from the spot next to him in bed, you smiled at him. “I really do have to quit, Josh.” You finally spoke, wanting to establish some sort of boundary before moving forward together. 

He shrugged you off like you were batshit crazy for even suggesting that. A hint of mischief entered his eye before shrugging. 

“Not even on the table. Forbidden love. It’s totally hot. Let’s see how much we can get away with before people notice,” your laughter shook your body as Josh leaned down over you, connecting your lips together as laughter flowed between you both.

Being bad sounded like fun. As long as Josh was by your side to do it, it would always be fine. 

[hija-de-bruja]

Your story doesn't have to end where you feel it may be trying to end.

- Lalah Delia 🫶🏼

Vibrate Higher Daily

[ascendingjoyously]

💖🙏🏼Beloveds,once again sharing the Daily Prayer I received 2 years ago today…With some additional lines…

DAILY PRAYER

Dear God/Creator/(any name of your choice),

i (your name) ask, you to help me vibrate with the highest frequencies of your Love,

Peace,Gratitude,Abundance,Joy (add other attributes of your choice),that i am capable of holding at this time.(Feel your energy shifting)...Help me to ground this energetic vibration into Divine Mother Earth’s being...May it spread like wildfire through out her grids,ley lines,every cell,molecule,atom,

and all the spaces in between,

as it does through my bodies fields and matrices...Help me to be in forgiveness of myself and all those that i perceive as having wronged me...i ask for forgiveness from all whom i have wronged from the beginning of time to here and now...

Help me to understand and realise that we are all in this together,souls on a journey,not adversaries or enemies...We are each integral to one another’s evolution,help me to see you in every one and everything...Help me to serve all of Mother Earth,humanity and you in your every form...

Let thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven...

I now fully,completely and consciously trust that today everything I need in my life which is in divine harmony,and accordance with the highest will of my soul will come into being,gracefully,harmoniously and miraculously…

I now align my divine will,with the will of Mother ~ Father God/Source,and I command,by the authority of my Divine will,that the will of Mother ~ Father God/Source act through my life this day,for my divine will and the divine will of Mother ~ Father God / Source are one and the same…I now consciously align my magnetic energy field, with the magnetic field of abundance,of joy,of peace, and of miracles…I now align my awareness with higher wisdom, knowledge and light…I now create the manifestation of the highest will of my divine plan, and I now create and manifest an abundant life filled with the positive qualities of Mother ~ Father God / Source’s creation…

Amen/Ameen

Thank you and with the power of three the Holy Trinity,it is done,it is done,it is done and so it is...🙏🏼🙇🏻‍♀️🙏🏼

Sending you our Love,Joy and Gratitude,to EnLighten and Brighten your day…

Source bless all of Creation,you your loved ones including your pets…

https://linktr.ee/upaasna9devi

[aph-centric-fixs]

Zane with a fem reader he thought was a guy because of her avatar online headcanons or smth? :3 I think that'd be funee

Not at all like the game!!

Sure!! I've seen this trope in basically every fandom I've been in, and honestly I've got no problem with it as long as it's not made into a weird thing.

Zane x female! Reader (referred to with he/him in the beginning)

CW// possible ooc? & writing

In all honesty, Zane never thought he'd get so hooked on a game, he was never the type. It just sort of ran in the family, not being too obsessed over games.

The only reason he even got the game was so he could play it with Aphmau, she wouldn't stop bothering him about it so he gave in. And here he is now, playing the game whenever he has free time. It was honestly embarrassing, especially after he reached a higher rank than Aphmau- she had been playing so much longer than him!

It wasn't all as bad as he expected. The story was decent, the characters customization was great, and the community wasn't all horrible. He had found a small guild to join pretty quickly, not too many active members but enough to go on raids and such. The boss of the guild was a high ranking player, good gear and all, and yet he never fit the stereotype of other high ranking players.

He always welcomed low levels into the party, and easily carried anyone who needed it. Zane felt a little embarrassed at times, having to ask him to help him defeat this one boss but he never once shamed Zane.

Over time a great bond grew, Zane and his new best friend raided dungeons and castles almost daily. It didn't come to that much of surprise when the question of hanging out in person was raised. Chatting in and out of the game led Zane to know he was an adult and not some kid, boy would that be horrible for him.

Setting a time and place was easy, though it came to a surprise on both ends that they lived in the same state, much more the same city. A park was decided to be the best place, nice and public while also not too far for either one. Plans weren't exactly made after that, Zane just figured it would be a go with the flow type of thing.

The hangout date came quicker than he thought it would, leaving him to be nervous all morning and on the way over. What if he didn't like Zane? If his voice was too squeaky or something? God, this was high school all over again!

When he arrived at the park he looked around at everyone there, no one looked like who he thought he was looking for, so he sat down at a bench and waited. He basically stared a hole into his phone waiting for a message to pop up. While he waited some one came and sat next to him, and he couldn't help but take a glance at the pretty girl next to him. With a scoff, Zane went back to looking at his phone.

With a small vibration his phone notified him of a text. Quickly opening it he almost laughed with the seemingly worried 'where are you!!' message. He didn't wait to type out a response of 'on a bench' and waiting for a reply. Imagine his surprise when he got back a 'me too!'. I mean there weren't many benches at the park, and most were taken up by families or couples. The only bench without one was...

Wait a minute. Zane turned to look over, almost stiff as he watched the girl next to him type... And his phone go off.

"You're a girl!!??!" He said, watching the poor person next to him jump and drop their phone.

It was silent between the two, him staring at you, you staring at him. Slowly reaching down and picking up your phone, you looked down at your phone then back at Zane.

"Your avatar looks so like you" Zane's eyes basically blew out of his skull with how much he was surprised.

"Oh, I could say the same for you" He bit back sarcastically, only to be met with a laugh. Rolling his eyes he put his phone in his pocket and crossed his arms.

With that confusion out of the way, the two of you started to chat, mostly about actual stuff rather than game stuff.

"So why'd you choose a guy character anyways?" Zane asked out of the blue, closing the small silence that had just passed.

"Well, girls in any gaming communities in general tend to get harassed. And the armor just looks so much better on male characters!" You replied, smiling and pulling up google to show him what you meant. With a hum he looked over your shoulder to see.

After a small bit of comparing male and female characters armor, Zane's stomach basically screamed out in hunger. It was embarrassing, but you didn't say anything other than a small laugh.

"Y'know, I know a good burrito place down the street" You suggested, standing up and stretching before looking back at Zane.

"Sounds good to me" He replied, standing up himself and following side by side as you two continued to chat.

[neosero]

[ 11:30pm ]

you’re his favorite, though it doesn't feel like it sometimes

word count | 1.5k+

noteworthy mentions | gn!reader; gojo x reader; jujustu-college!au; unimportant but the reader cursed-technique uses tattoos;

blue-eyed freak

you still mad at me :)

As soon as you open your messages you regret it. Of course you’re still mad — leaving you to handle the after mission briefings was one thing you’re used to, but getting ditching to find a way home alone on the count that he wanted to go limited souvenir shopping in Puerto Rico is a step too far.

The speech bubbles appear almost as soon as you open the message, like he knows you’ve seen it and you don’t doubt the possibility. You turn your phone off and toss it to the side, choosing to finish your course work rather than give him the satisfaction of knowing you’ve seen it.

Still, your phone vibrates once then after an hour it goes off again. This is normal for Satoru really — a triple text then radio silence until he’s had enough of the silent treatment. Then he comes barreling through your dorm room as if it was his own. You’d thought about reporting him before or at least asking for a change in partnership, but he would most likely find a way to prevent that from going through. As your senior he can get away with it — that and the higher-ups just about bend over backwards for him.

His radio silence lasts about another two hours just as the moon reaches her summit for the night, then three curt knocks echo through your dorm room.

Gojo never knocks.

He might tap his fingers along the door to his new favorite song of the day, yell at you to open up or he’ll break it down again, he may come in through the window at times or somehow get Geto to use a curse to unlock your door for him like a mad man…

But he never knocks.

You stand, work nearly finished but long forgotten and head to the door. You don’t feel an over abundance of cursed energy nor do you hear the tell tale giggling of a prank getting set up just outside when you place your ear against the cool steel. Confused, you finally look through the peephole and see nothing. You open the door, casting your gaze down the hall to be met with common silence.

You almost believe you were ding-dong-ditched by the man you wanted to avoid, until a note falls off your door and at your feet. COME TO THE ROOF, it reads with no signature; although you recognize the handwriting as if it were your own. You wish you had the self control to ignore it — to ignore him, but you don't. Geto likes to say that it's what makes you both so perfect for each other no matter how much you tell him to shut it. Even when you throw his remark over your shoulder it still clings to you like a shadow.

Like now, pushing open the emergency exit doors to the roof of your building. The Autumn night weather picks at your clothed skin as soon as you walk outside and the stars seem to mock you as they flicker amongst themselves within the sky. You stuff your hands in your pockets for warmth.

Scanning the rooftop for your daily tormenter, you are met with the nights silence. You walk around the roof egress to see if he was hiding. The rooftop isn’t that spacious, so if he was here he would’ve been in eyeshot. He isn't.

The only gullible idiot you find on the roof is the one in your own reflections. You shuffle to the gate surrounding the top of the building. Looking down, you can see the faint glow of dragonflies dancing within the shrubs and flowers. Butterflies follow suit jumping from one flower to the next. The cicadas join together in a sad symphony, giving weight to your sudden walk of shame. At least something is enjoying the night.

What were you hoping for anyway?

A sigh bubbles out of you before you can stop it. Anything really.

A sudden pulse of cursed energy hits your senses with a force. Quickly, turn on your heels. Has the bearer been breached again? Your hand pulls up your sleeve, ready to conjure a shikigami from your skin but stops short.

Gojo sits atop the gate opposite to you. He kicks his feet about like a child, smirk pulling at his lips with your jumpy behavior. The feeling of that overbearing has gone just as soon as it came. That prick.

"Didn't think you'd show." He speaks first jumping from the top of the fence. You give no reply in return. Instead, you lean against the gate head turned away from him to eye the distant buildings. Even if you did come all this way to see him, he still isn't forgiven.

Gojo chuckles to himself, "Still mad."

He sighs, faint clouds of breath leave his parted lips at your continued silence. The subtle annoyance brings a sense of joy that you hide away.

He strides to you, the sounds of his shoes hitting the asphalt overbearing all other sounds of night. In the moment you think of all the things he would say when he gets to you …

( 'Come on, it was a one time thing I swear!' or 'Ijichi was in the area anyway.' maybe even a 'As a Grade One that was light-work, I knew you would have made it back no sweat.' )

… or what he’ll do.

( You had made the mistake of voicing your complaints about Gojo to Geto once, thinking it would be all in good fun. And remain confidential. That same day you found yourself ascended high above Japan, clinging desperately to the cause of your afflictions. Gojo called it an apology — showing you the sites of the city. You still believe it as a threat. )

With the jujutsu world’s biggest enigma you can never guess what he’ll do in any given circumstance. That being said, you fain indifference as he stands in-front of you in all his ‘Special Grade’ glory. Tall and lengthy and powerful. He’s in a class of his own in every department and it’s infuriating to always have to look up at him — in both status and everyday life.

An anomaly both in and out of work. He toys with curses one day then snaps them in half before you can blink the next. Choosing to toy with you for days like your back in grade school, then leave you notes to come see him at night in private. He’s made it his mission to keep you guessing.

He still doesn't give you a chance to think about his next moves even now. Not when he throws himself on you like a limp sake of potatoes. You reach to grab him without a second thought. Your arms wrap and his waist to stabilize him, and his wrap around your shoulders in a hug. He buries his face into the point where your neck meets your shoulders and breathes in deep. You have to fight the urge to shiver. Not because of what he did but because you're touching him. And he's warm.

“I’m sorry.”

Oh.

Your shoulders stiffen and he laughs into your neck with the action.

Gojo Satoru never apologizes. He is the highest point of Jujustu Society; the personification of cursed energy itself since the last incarnation of the six eyes. He was raised as a god, the top of the society; you had thought apologizing was beneath him.

"It's fine." You say, unsure of just what you are supposed to say. It apparently isn't that. Gojo pulls off of you with a deep frown.

"It's not fine."

"What I did wasn't cool, and I'd rather the last time we saw each other not be with you hating my guts."

The last time we saw each other?

What does he mean by that? Your mouth opens but he beats you with the answer.

"The higher ups have assigned Geto and I on a mission, but this one is different. One even I don't think we’ll come back unscathed. So, I just wanted to—"

"Wait! Why are you telling me all this Satoru? I don’t understand?" It is weird to see him this open with you, especially with all that has led you to come up here in the first place. The thought of him being sick or faintly under the influence rocks through your mind. Gojo is honestly awestruck with your confused face.

"You really haven't noticed, huh? Guess I do owe Shoko that five."

He pulls off his glasses, placing six eyes all on you.

"It's 'cause you're my favorite and I don't know how far I'd be without you here."

His gaze is piercing, blue eyes just as bright as the full moon tonight. You had no idea what to say before but now you're really stunned. Here is Gojo Satoru laying down his emotions to you on a cold Autumn night. It’s strange; there is a feeling festering in you that you’ve never felt before with him. Is this genuine concern, hope or something else. Whatever it is you can’t tell but for that moment you believed that heartfelt look in his eyes…

Until he starts laughing. He lets a grand puff of air before he tries to hide his giggles poorly, “Sorry, sorry.”

You shove him away from you with an eye roll, but he still shows you a toothy grin.

"You really know how to ruin a moment, ya'know that?"

"Yeah, I do. But you still love me for it."