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purplehairedwonder · 1 year

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Chapter 1081: Heartbroken

Me, reading this chapter:

Okay, let’s start with the stuff on Hachinosu:

Garp and his ship land in the wake of the giant explosion at the end of last chapter. He’s worried he’s losing his touch while everyone else looks on in horror at the thought that this is what losing a step looks like. (Just saying, Akainu should be sending Sengoku flowers and chocolates for saving his life at Marineford when he stopped Garp from attacking.)

Moreover, thankfully we don’t have to wait for Garp and Coby to reunite.

But there is a complication: turns out Kuzan is actually on Hachinosu after all (which leaves Lafitte and Catarina Devon to potentially be on the ship heading to Egghead). I am genuinely surprised by this; I felt fairly certain Kuzan would be at Egghead with all the Ohara references. But now I’m wondering if Kuzan will cross paths with the Straw Hats at Elbaf... which is also where Saul is. That would be something.

(Also, I still want to know where Smoker is.)

Kuzan announces his presence by freezing Hibari.

So, this could be a coincidence, but there’s also a potential for something more dramatic here. There are theories floating around that Hibari is Akainu’s daughter, so Kuzan freezing her here could be a sort of revenge against the man who cost him the position of Fleet Admiral and his leg.

We also get a flashback to Kuzan joining the Blackbeard Pirates:

NGL, it’s pretty sus that Kuzan and Blackbeard just happened to end up at the same place. I don’t feel like this stops the speculation that Kuzan is undercover, especially considering some of the things he says:

Back at Ohara, he says

Later, when he saves Smoker from Doflamingo on Punk Hazard, he tells Smoker

(Side note, this is very much like what Law tells Smoker about why he became a Warlord--seeing things at a different angle.)

Kuzan, despite being with Blackbeard at this point, is calling himself independent. And he says,

Which brings us to what he says on Hachinosu:

He’s acting according to his own wishes, not the World Government’s and not Blackbeard’s. After all, consider what Blackbeard says when he recruits Kuzan:

Kuzan clearly has his own agenda here--one he’s had in mind and has been inspired by for a long time, only now he feels free to act on it--and if he has to fight Garp to keep up his place in their midst until his goals are achieved, he will do so.

(I just want to take a moment to note that we have yet another contrast between Blackbeard and Luffy; Luffy’s crew is full of his friends who fight for one another and want to help each other achieve their dreams. Blackbeard’s crew is entirely transactional.)

The way he phrases the need to make sure Coby isn’t rescued is also telling:

The optics would be bad for his mission if Coby got out in his watch, and that’s the only concern. He’s not a true believer here; he’s doing what is necessary for whatever his mission is.

So, Kuzan is an immovable object and Garp is an unstoppable force. They collide.

AND NOW TO THE PART OF THE CHAPTER THAT WILL BE LIVING RENT FREE IN MY BRAIN FOR THE REST OF FOREVER.

Oh no.

WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY.

This panel... hit me like a physical blow. Law’s been on the Tang since he was 16. I’m emotional about it.

Law whumps so pretty, sorry not sorry. (Add this to the file with him on the Heart Throne in Dressrosa and being tortured in Wano.) Bepo is... really adorable? And I love that the two of them are together here? Bepo’s with his captain, and I cry. This was also a brutal fight since it was Blackbeard and three Titanic commanders vs. the Hearts.

And another Rocky Port mention:

So, this confirms that Law got his hundred hearts at Rocky Port, and they’re all still on Hachinosu.

Meanwhile, Bepo (in another adorable panel) eats a new rumble ball from Chopper. (Can we talk about Chopper making this for Bepo? Chopper, bb, I love you so much.)

Law, stop being so pretty while you’re bloodied up.

Blackbeard knows about the Perennial Youth Operation, which is not surprising since he’s been hunting down Devil Fruits and Law’s is known as the Ultimate Devil Fruit. It’s interesting, too, that when Blackbeard ambushes Law, he says it’s for Law’s poneglyphs, but when Law is defeated, he talks about his Devil Fruit instead.

(Speaking of Law’s poneglyphs, did Blackbeard get them? With the Tang sinking and the captain and navigator escaping... wouldn’t it be ironic if he ambushed Law for his poneglyphs only to forget to take them in his victory.)

AND CHOPPER’S GIFT LETS BEPO GO SULONG WITHOUT THE FULL MOON. HYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYPE.

This bear, who is constantly apologizing for silly things, TAKES ON BLACKBEARD AND HIS TITANIC CAPTAINS to protect Law. I love their friendship so much.

Bepo takes Law and escapes in the sea. (Fun fact, polar bears can swim about 6 mph/10 kmh, and the longest known distance a polar bear has swum is 220 miles/354 km. So, Bepo is capable of getting Law to safety.)

Also, Law is leaving his hat and Kikoku behind -- two of his most visible signifiers. This... this hurts.

I am genuinely heartbroken by this moment. We know how much Law cares for his crew; he sent them to Zou to protect them from Doflamingo, and he gave himself up to be tortured in Wano to rescue Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin. He takes his role protecting his people very seriously, so he begs Bepo to turn around even though he’s in no shape to do anything. He just won’t abandon them (reminds me of him refusing to abandon Luffy if he were to die in Dressrosa).

But Bepo tells Law to trust in the Hearts. They’re tough and they’re survivors. This makes me think the Hearts will survive and regroup offscreen while Law and Bepo get away. (I can’t help but think, though, about the Hearts scattered on Winner Island and in the water and how Blackbeard is involved in the slave trade. Could you imagine the rage if Blackbeard sold the Hearts into slavery and Law had to rescue them? Or, if Blackbeard brings the survivors back as prisoners and lets the pirates with missing hearts at them... Yikes.)

Despite being conscious, Law must be in really bad shape for Bepo to be worried about him dying here. (I get that going underwater is safer against threats like Van Augur here, but Law is a badly-wounded Devil Fruit eater... he’s not going to be able to stay under very long, Bepo, heh.)

I want to examine, for a second, the way the defeat of the Hearts is framed versus the defeat of the Kid Pirates (versus the defeat of the Straw Hats in Sabaody).

“Winner Island, New World. On this day, the Heart Pirates, led by Trafalgar Law, were soundly defeated.”

“On this day, in the New World by Elbaf, the Kid Pirate crew, led by Eustass ‘Captain’ Kid, a man worth 3 billion, was completely eradicated.”

“Grove 12, Sabaody Archipelago, the Grand Line. That day, the Straw Hat Pirates, led by Captain Monkey D. Luffy, were eradicated.”

It’s quite noticeable how much more dramatically both the Kid Pirates’ and the Straw Hats’ defeats were described. For one thing, the descriptions of the Kid Pirates’ and Straw Hats’ defeats are more flowery.

Plus, the use of the word “eradicated,” which sounds permanent. Obviously, the Straw Hats weren’t permanently broken up, but they are separated for two years. It’s a dramatic defeat. We don’t know what happened to the Kid Pirates, but it didn’t look good, as both Kid and Killer, who can’t swim, were thrown into the water. On the other hand, the Hearts are described as being “defeated” while Law and Bepo escape.

So, what comes next? On the one hand, it would make a lot of sense for Bepo to get Law to safety and then call the Straw Hats. This could be a great excuse to get Law back onto the Sunny for the duration, especially since his goal to learn about the Will of D. is aligned with Luffy’s without competing with his. Plus, you know Luffy wouldn’t hesitate to help Law.

On the other hand, if we think about where Law is in conjunction to the other two captains...

He’s closer to Elbaf than Egghead. It would not shock me if we start to see all these plotlines (Straw Hats, Kuzan, Law) converge on Elbaf.

Ugh, this chapter has completely wrecked me.

#One Piece 1081 #One Piece chapter 1081 #One Piece 1081 spoilers #One Piece spoilers #Trafalgar Law #Best boi Bepo #Blackbeard #Kuzan #Garp #One Piece #Chapter write-up

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kunikiiida-kuuun · 1 year

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BSD Anime vs. Manga

S4 Episode 7 & Chapters 59-61

This is mostly going to be a compilation of the ADA moments, focused on Kunikida in particular, since Bones seems to freely pluck out parts from his characterization that takes away a lot from his personal arc. They have done it before, but in this arc, where each detail sensitive to his entire arc, I find it is quite a shame they were excluded.

Here are some moments that didn't make it to the anime, or simply didn't translate well into the episode because of a number of reasons.

A short disclaimer: I've never written any kind of analysis posts or even theories so I'd say this is more of my personal thoughts rather than a very objective comparison, since I hold Kunikida and the ADA very close to my heart. Buckle up for a really long post because oh boy, I have a lot of thoughts.

1. First signs of despair

(BSD Chapter 59)

Quite contrary to how Kunikida is perceived as emotionless, among all the characters in the room, we get a close up into his mind and thoughts first. They have been just declared as national criminals, and Ranpo, the most vital pillar of their agency was just shot and presumably out of commission. The all-knowing Ranpo who has gotten them out of trouble numerous times has been cut off. They sit there in shock as the realisation sinks in. They have no way out. Kunikida looks at his notebook, pondering out loud, "Is this where...my ideals come to an end?"

2. Kunikida retaliates back

(BSD Chapter 59)

This is one of the sides of Kunikida we may rarely get to see. While he is a character with a strong moral compass compared to the other BSD characters, there are moments when he prioritizes to protect himself and would go to any lengths to to prevent harm to his comrades, sometimes at the cost of his own well being. He wouldn't kill anyone, but should the circumstances call for it, he wouldn't hesitate to remove that obstacle. This is similar to how he shoots a little kid who was firing at him and Atsushi in the cannibalism arc. However the circumstances are entirely different in both scenarios. At that time, his inner conflict was more evident, since the children had been lied to, and instructed to shoot and didn't know any better. He had to protect himself and Atsushi. Over here, he is more or less wrongly being accused, which would explain his actions.

Before this, there's also a gentle look that passes over his eyes, as he reminisces about working along with them, and the fact that they see him as an enemy now.

I do however, appreciate that in the anime, his voice is softer, and not rude or mean to the soldiers they just defeated.

3. Remorse

(BSD Chapter 60)

Just as they are able to escape and catch their breaths, Kunikida is immediately filled with remorse for his actions. There is the special emphasis on the "light in the eyes" that Kunikida refers to, something which is very important to a character in Harukawa sensei's art style. He struck down a person, who was someone just like him, someone who was simply holding up his own ideals for the "good" of the nation, something Kunikida himself resonates with. He questions the justness of his own actions, and is in an inner dilemma about everything he stands for. Despite his "tough" exterior, Kunikida is inherently a person who is deeply vulnerable. He puts up his walls, but these walls even seem to break too easily, caused by his own self doubt.

This internal conflict is completely missing in the anime, and while it may seem inconsequential to the overall plot, it takes away a lot of impact that comes ahead. There is a lack of a dramatic pause that this scene gives, as the horror sinks in not just for us, but our characters as well.

4. Ray of hope

(BSD Chapter 60)

Before everyone, especially Kunikida sinks into complete despair, Kenji speaks up, starting on a completely unrelated and seemingly pointless note. He offers everyone some rice balls, surprising everyone.

(BSD Chapter 60)

Kenji is just such a precious boy. Kenji's logic is eating = happiness so by offering the rice balls, he's literally saying "please don't feel dejected!! I want you all to stay healthy and be happy!!"

Kunikida tries to reason, initially feeling that Kenji was making light of the situation. But Kenji is clearly having none of it and stops him immediately. We unfortunately missed this absolutely hilarious scene of Kenji shutting up Kunikida by shoving a rice ball into his mouth LMAO.

In hindsight, as I rewatch the anime, Kenji's speech is a nice optimistic boost in very Kenji fashion, but it comes across as a touch too happy go lucky in the anime and you can't deny how much more impactful it is when instead of just a random speech, he's purposefully uplifting everyone's spirits.

He isn't just being optimistic and is aware of the grim situation. He understands that he would need to use his ability for the obstacles they may face ahead and forgoes eating the rice balls (as Kenji cannot use his skill if his stomach is full). That's when even Kunikida realises that he is being serious. He understands how everyone feels, and reassures them, essentially saying that the agency will get through, rebuild, and continue on their path no matter how many difficulties come their way.

I have to say, this moment here is even more touching with his backstory that was recently revealed a few chapters ago. Kenji actually comes across as very mature for his age with his outlook on life and his kind and humble nature.

There is an immediate change in Kunikida's demeanor after this. He acknowledges Kenji's words and bites into the rice ball, accepting his 'unique' way of encouraging them with gratitude. And hereforth emerges the leader within Kunikida. I'm working on another post related to Kunikida and his role as the future ADA leader, but Kunikida is truly a people's leader. He spurs into action when he has the trust and support of his comrades and is the most confident when backed and reassured by the ones near him.

Unfortunately I find that this moment completely fell flat in the anime. They included Tanizaki's line about being criminals and it's in response to that that Kenji gives his speech which isn't bad per se....but doesn't give the same impact as the manga. They added some sparkles ✨ as he was speaking which made it a tad bit animated whereas in the manga it seems like the sun is shining on him...which makes me wonder how the anime would've looked if they actually showed a progression of time instead of just sticking to twilight hues...

5. Just your friendly neighborhood terrorist gang...

(BSD manga chapter 61)

And here is the most iconic and probably the greatest scene of all times, which was only partly animated. I'll let this one slide, but imagine how much funnier it would have been if they did include the first part. The fact that they are being pursued right now as the most wanted criminals, and how every second is extremely precious to them if they want to escape safely, and yet, Kunikida would steal someone's vehicle only after confirming they have an insurance for it (and letting them go if they don't).

Even him choosing to take a private vehicle rather than public transport to avoid jeopardizing other's lives...Kunikida is just so good. I love him so much you don't understand 🥹💕

6. Comprehensive personality analysis by Jouno Saigiku (Kunikida edition)

Okay sorry this is just me being salty but like....did they seriously give us an extended fish eye cut for this entire scene??!! I was so shocked I couldn't even focus on the weight and symbolism of the dialogue. I get the fish eye potential of this scene but like why....just why.

It's such a pivotal revelation about Kunikida, not just to us, the audience, but even to Kunikida himself, his deepest and innermost thoughts and fears laid out in the open like that. Jouno tears him down effectively, making him question himself and his ideals.

This part makes me crazy emotional in the manga, because the whole thing about Kunikida's ideals is that it actually weighs so heavily on him that he doesn't really realise that he is crumbling under the pressure of it. Deep inside, he is aware about the futility of pursuing them, as seen from how he admits it himself in Chapter 40 to Katsura, but instead of letting go, he keeps pushing himself. His ideals are not for others to follow, but something he demands of himself, in order to create a better world. And if the people whom he wants to protect are taken away, his ideals would come to an end, hence he'll be "free" from the heavy burden of his ideals.

Reducing all of this into a mere fish eye moment....bones I will remember this 😭😤

However, I do appreciate that they added a scene of Kunikida shielding Yosano from Tecchou, a nice parallel to when Yosano takes a bullet for Kunikida. It was just very heart warming to see all of them protect each other. There's also a small panel that was not animated, one where Jouno kicks Kenji out of the moving car and asks Kunikida and the others to go ahead, and there's a look of uncertainty and despair that passes on Kunikida's face, another instance of his internal conflict not included.

(also what is with all of Kunikida's enemies reading up on him and studying him?? Like I'm no different from these guys tbh I get it, I'm obsessed with him too but back off will ya...🙄)

I'm only considering this fan-made video by cocoa as the true anime scene because wth were they thinking 😭

Additional thoughts Episode 8

Kunikida's final answer

I would recommend going and reading the full manga for better reading experience, but in case you're feeling too lazy, I included the screenshots. I'm mostly satisfied with how this part was animated, but here are some of my thoughts about it anyways. Looking back to this chapter in the manga, it's definitely much more dramatic than its counterpart.

There's a panel where they just show him with his back hunched all alone as he ponders over what Jouno said which is really neat. The look of horror that passes over his face as he sees Kenji being stabbed is much more dramatic. In the anime, Kenji being stabbed was even more horrifying, and obviously more realistic of a reaction than him just going "huh?" as if it was nothing much.

There's even a panel of Kunikida gritting his teeth, until he realises what he needs to do. I loved the way he swung off the helicopter in the anime, it kinda lives rent free in my brain ngl. When Kunikida jumps off and kicks Tecchou, there's a close up of his face, full of determination and light in his eyes... it's just so beautiful because he's no longer hindered by self doubt. This light in his eyes remains the brightest in all the three panels.

While originally I was under the impression that this would be a very sad scene, the anime and the choice of music made it seem more of a heroic moment instead, which the more I think about, the more I feel was a good choice. After a series of unfortunate events and near death situations, Kunikida is faced with the choice to either give up or save everyone. His choice to sacrifice himself was one stemming from his role as a leader and also, most importantly to protect anyone else from getting hurt. This is also his firm answer back to Jouno's words, that he would continue striving for his ideals, even when sacrificing his own life.

And also, spoilers alert: he doesn't exactly die, so I think it was alright if they didn't make it too dramatic or melancholic. Still made me cry buckets nevertheless lol.

I'm not very good at character analyses so I would recommend reading this one over here. It's one of the best character breakdown I've ever seen for Kunikida and they have covered this part of the manga as well!

Of course, another amazing explanation of this scene is by Asagiri-sensei themselves, which you can find here.

Yet another deleted scene...

Kyouka decides to go save Atsushi

(BSD Chapter 63)

If you're curious about when Kyouka decided to go and save Atsushi instead and how they concealed themselves so well in that hole, here's an extended explanation in a flashback that was skipped in the anime. It's no surprise this was deleted, and I was pretty much expecting it as it's not that important of a detail. The most significant part of this scene of course would be the sheer determination in Kyouka's eyes to save Atsushi. I think it is a neat parallel to Atsushi back in s1 who insisted on saving Kyouka, even after Kunikida told him not to. In both instances, Kunikida tries to protest, but eventually relents and acknowledges their will and determination, lending them his aid. The anime also kinda missed giving us a cool render of that page in which Kyouka stands heroically before the military when she comes to save Atsushi (unfortunately I'm unable to add the image because of Tumblr's ten image limit...sigh).

Final thoughts

I've said this before, but I understand that anime has time constraints and other production matters that I'm unaware about, but the number of details that were removed while not surprising, was surely disappointing. My major problem was mostly with episode 7 with how rushed it was. By removing the build up, there's a certain lack of emotional depth in a number of scenes. There are many who did not find the episodes fast paced and rather consider it quite alright considering the theme of the arc, which is totally valid. However it's natural for manga readers to go into the anime with preconceived ideas about how they think the scene will go down. I'm personally just a little sad because firstly, Kunikida is my favourite character and secondly, I think he's one of the best written characters in all of BSD. He is one of the core characters in BSD, so I'm obviously disappointed that many of his parts just get removed since he's not one of the greater "fan favourites".

Of course, I have to give the anime credit where it's due. The animation is amazing this season and the voice acting is simply phenomenal. The OST is also pretty good and I desperately want that track they played for the hunting dogs introduction. They've truly given their heart and soul for this season, and I couldn't be happier as a BSD fan!! I'm super excited for the upcoming episodes!

Welp that's all from me! Thank you for coming to my ted talk! This was initially going to be just a simple compilation, until I started talking and couldn't shut up. I'm really grateful for anyone who reads this. Thank you very much!! If you've come this far, please do drop a comment because I'd love to hear your thoughts!!

Lastly, please go read the manga if you haven't already! Who knows, maybe you'll find some other missing detail of your favourite character!

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werewolfcave · 2 months

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GOD OK I was getting my psych degree when it was announced they'd be adding Maruki

and I was sitting here like "Atlus is gonna fumble this so hard i just know it." because in collectivist countries/cultures like japan, you mind your business and don't air out your problems.

AND I WAS RIGHT I WAS SO RIGHT AND IM SO MAD ABOUT IT.

like thanks for making a prominent to the story therapist be a big time bad guy you CLOWNS. BUFFOONS.

Sorry I just. I needed to say! I AGREE hes interesting and I see a lot of traits that would make a good therapist but BOY HOWDY. He makes me so fucking mad the way he was handled lmao

Okay I totally get where you're coming from and do agree framing a therapist in a bad light especially as the first therapist in the series is going to have negative consequences. BUT when I was talking to my own therapist yesterday it occurred to me that Maruki is a genuinely a fascinating critique of the clinical psych field. Because, as my therapist pointed out; "[Maruki] makes you realize how silly and unrealistic the idea of no one experiencing pain is. It makes you stand back and stop idealizing that idea of no one experiencing that pain because it's so absurd and harmful."

I then added onto that by pointing out how a lot of his ideals are a very interesting reflection of the psychology field when you look at it from a Western Standpoint (I am not sure how it is from an Eastern Standpoint I do apologize about that), because in the West we are very caught in the idea of Intervention instead of Prevention, and Maruki is obviously under the same idea.

See the Clinical Psychology field fails when it views things under the medical model, that mental health problems are something one can just "cure". Viewing pain as unique to the individual and that it's something that can be fixed is a very temporary solution. Instead there needs to be prevention, which is focusing on that pain comes from systemic places, and that we need to reform society rather than focus exclusively on individual pain. I will get into how we can tell Maruki is focusing on intervention exclusively in a moment, but first let me further lay out what Intervention vs Prevention is using an excerpt for a Reflection Essay I wrote for my Community Psychology Class:

"The concept of Prevention vs Intervention can best be explained up with a parable often credited to sociologist Irving Zola. The parable tells of man standing on the edge of a river, when suddenly he spots someone drowning. The man jumps into the river and drags the person out, and just when he manages to get that person out, he hears someone else. So he goes in to drag that person out as well. And it repeats. Eventually the man is exhausted and there is still people falling into the river. It is then that he realizes he never even thought to go upstream to check how people were falling in in the first place. This parable tells of the way that intervention by itself will never be truly successful, because there will always be people falling in, and never enough resources to keep pulling people out. This most efficient solution would be to fix whatever is causing people to fall in."

It should be stated that Intervention is not wholly unnecessary, as I go on to say in that same essay:

"Yes there has to be someone who goes upstream to address what is getting people in the river in the first place, but that isn’t possible with someone staying downstream. Because of we yet to prevent the harm from being done, we do still need intervention. To allow the preventionists to do their work they need the interventionists to keep that hurt at bay until we can prevent the hurt from happening in the first place."

Now, returning to Maruki. Maruki obviously has the idea in his head that he can remove points of pain for people, and that at all costs someone, to be healthy, must avoid a situation in which they get hurt. We take all of this with the fact that capitalism, corporations, etc still exist in this world. Let me break that down as to how this itself is a prime example of how his idea of a world with no pain does not take into account systemic oppression nor works as a long term solution.

A.) If one's pain stems from, say, low wages making it hard to pay rent and thus having to work multiple jobs, Maruki's solution would likely be to raise the amount of pay for whatever job is preferred by the person and continue from there. We do know that he makes it so that way Okumura Foods is a more idealized company that treats its workers fairly and has more ethical sources for its food. But this only works within the short term, as there is still a need to get money to put food on the table, to keep a roof over your head. Economic stress is still there even when paid well enough, because there is still the fact that you must keep getting more of a limited resource to pay for the ability to live. There are still people who come out on top, there are still people who are working the factories, there are still people who must do backbreaking work. Additionally Maruki is of the mindset that if your dream isn't working out you must abandon it, which will leave those whose dreams lie in underpaying jobs (such as an artist who makes a living through their art, and is hit with art block that keeps them from producing work) they are to abandon that for something that will keep a roof over their head. This leads to a rather soulless existence.

B.) To quote the Combahee River Collective, a Black Feminist organization that is responsible for intersectionality really making it's way into the collective consciousness, in their Coalition Statement:

"We realize that the liberation of all oppressed peoples necessitates the destruction of the political-economic systems of capitalism and imperialism as well as patriarchy."

That is to say that systemic oppression cannot be undone without the removal of capitalism. Scholars such as Cedric Robinson and Ruth Wilson Gilmore talk of how capitalism itself is rooted in the oppression of racial minorities, especially Black people. This is a concept called Racial Capitalism, which put as simply as possible in the Wikipedia entry for this concept is:

Racial capitalism is a concept reframing the history of capitalism as grounded in the extraction of social and economic value from people of marginalized racial identities, typically from Black people.

While not a study on Japan itself, and instead China, here is a fascinating chapter on Racial Capitalism in China wherein it states:

Emptied of their former political content, the disarticulated concepts of race and ethnicity have often been reduced to foreign and domestic modes of social differentiation in the reform era, which can allow nationalists to claim that there is no racism in their country and can allow China scholars to deny the relevance of race to the field. Yet, the externalization of race and racism is particularly dubious these days as China’s participation in global capitalism has been accompanied by prominent examples of Islamophobia and anti-Blackness.

And to address how Racial Capitalism is relevant to Japan itself, we are to look at Race Relations and the Capitalist State: A Case Study of Koreans in Japan, 1917 through the mid—1920s by Kazuhiro Abe. From the Abstract:

"Expansionist Japanese capitalism developed racist ideologies toward Korea and the Koreans. In 1910 Japan annexed Korea. After 1917, Korean labor was imported on a large scale into Japanese society, where racist attitudes were rapidly taking shape. However, cheap Korean labor produced a wage differential that caused a split in the labor market along ethnic lines. Thus, competition for jobs between Japanese workers and Korean immigrants transformed racial prejudice into overt ethnic antagonism."

From the talk of the Theoretical Framework at play:

"The analytical framework employed here is the synthesis of several current theories of race and ethnicity. It draws heavily on Marxist theories of race relations, and especially on the split-labor-market theory. In the Marxist tradition, as Wilson argues (1978, pp. 4-9), there are two major approaches to race relations. One is orthodox Marxist theory emphasizing the manipulative role of capitalists who seek to divide the working class racially by exploiting racist ideologies so as to preclude the emergence of a unified working class. (For an example of this position see Reich 1971 and 1981). The other approach is the split-labor-market theory systematically developed and elaborate by Edna Bonacich (1972, 1975, 1976). This theory involves three groups of actors: business, higher paid labor, and cheap labor. The labor market becomes split when cheaper labor is introduced into the market. Capitalists prefer to use the cheap labor, and the higher-paid labor consequently faces threat of displacement. The higher-paid labor group attempts to forestall such displacement by excluding cheap labor from its territory. If exclusion is not possible, the higher-paid labor establishes a caste system to systematically block the access of cheap labor by certain occupations. The success or failure of these attempts largely depends on the amount of political resources the higher-paid labor group can mobilize"

All of this is to say is that while not on purpose, the game implies to us a complete lack of understanding of systemic injustice that causes much pain in the first place. Maruki is very purely intervention and has no interest in prevention.

Maruki himself talks about totalitarianism and how it is something that forces everyone under one ideal, and Goro himself points out (in an implied sense) that that is precisely what Maruki is doing. He is forcing people into his idea of intervention and no pain, while doing nothing to rid the world of the root cause of unjust pain. He is creating a totalitarian dystopian world without any sort of self-awareness.

#takuto maruki #persona #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #persona 5 royal spoilers #p5 #replyin to y'all #anyways so yeah. blasts you with what I learned from Community Psych Critical Psych and Critical Diversity Studies

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tulipanthousa · 3 months

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tell us about the unwritten au 👀

okay, full disclosure, this will never be written. i have no intention of ever doing so. if someone else is willing to take a crack at it be my guest but this would be too much for me to handle

so, here it is

Content Warnings: angst, RAPE (<- read this. the dove is dead. do not pass go do not collect $200. youve been warned) both directly and via proxy, and other kinds of sexual coercion

LAOFT RELAMP but at what cost

In main story laoft, durant does not see roman and remy's dalliances as important or a threat to him/his control over roman.

in this story. he does

in an agonizing display of cruelty, he kidnaps remy and presents him to night roman as a gift.

its a terrible position - roman cant reject the gift and risk durants anger, which will end in disaster for both him and remy... but niether can he accept it and walk back into his day life with the knowledge that remy will remain here, trapped, alone with durant, and impossibly far away from anything roman can do to protect him

Roman takes the only path he can find - feign gratefulness so deep that he no longer had need of his day left, and giving it up. because at least if theyre both trapped remy's not alone.

Remy and Roman disappear the same night, stolen from their beds without a sound or a trace left behind.

In wickhills, Logan is incandescent with fury and patton cries so miserably the woods and hills around his house are bone-dead silent. not even the birds want to sing in his presence.

May sits alone in her house, the door locked, refusing to answer for anyone.

The Adams' put up posters across all of southeast ohio knowing nobody is going to call

And emile watches them all and churns with guilt because he didnt know remy, not really, so why does he think he has a right to be this sad?

Back in faerieland, things escalate in a bad way very quickly. Durant coerces Roman and Remy into increasingly intense sexual scenarios for his entertainment.

in the midst of this, having only one other person you can rely on or trust can, coupled with the rapid increase in intimacy, cross the wires a bit, and wwhoops, Remy and roman are in love now

Remy: or whatever passes for love in this shitshow Roman: you dont get to tell me i dont really love you Remy, crying: ok

and tbh, all of this is more of just context for what im ACTUALLY interested which is

they get out. now what?

Because in the meantime, Emile has reached out to patton, we still have LAMP and remile, and now we have pair-of-cats-that-cant-be-separated creativisleep

Logan: you thought canon logan had anger issues? ha. ha i say. this logan would kill a man sooner than let them make roman or remy even slightly uncomfortable. he'll snarled at his own mother if she gets too close. he'll snarl at thomas, though he'll feel bad about both. this is actually! not great! because logan tried to guard from the outside looks a lot like Guards Keeping Us Inside to remy and roman, so they have to figure out how to navigate logans nuclear reactor protectiveness vs it wigging roman and remy out.

Virgil: Virgil waking up is the catalyst for them getting free, and in the midst of his horror falls in QP love at first sight with remy, who was so brave and so strong and kept roman safe when virgil couldnt.

Remy: i dont know if 'safe' is even slihtly accurate Virgil: the safety of his heart and mind are of equal importance to me as his body. you have cherished both, and you can have anything you ask for as long as i live Remy: [gay fluster noises]

Patton keeps determinedly dragging emile to mays house (where they are holed up for close access to dizzy and jax) even though Emile feels like he's intruding

Patton, constantly on the verge of tears: I almost lost Roman and i've decided im in love with all of you and i CATEGORICALLY refuse to lose anyone else Emile: um Patton: RE. FUSE.

so pattons HOPE is that they all wind up in a big polycule pile, and its doesnt... not do that, but its not quite as clearcut as all that.

Theres stumbling blocks at the beginning withboth remy and roman wavering on whether or not their romantic feelings are genuine, and subsequently wondering if the fact that theeyre still in love with Emile and LAM respectively means that they arent.

this would go through some oscillations of both of them trying to deny those feelings to "prove" their love for each other, vs trying to push the other away so they can go be with p[eople they "really love"

do! not! separate them!

in my head this ends with romantic LAMP, Romantic Remile, Romantic Patmile, and QPR losleep and sleepxiety - everybody else is friends and cuddle buddies

Remy is actually super comforted by the fact that Patton is in love with him/attracted to him but never asks for more than friendship because he knows remy isnt. Metamour besties.

Dizzy suffers a lot from this ordeal (she hid from durant and subsequently roman, knowing if he found her as romans familiar it would be catastrophic) so their bond is.... stretched, lets say. overtaxed. she's a little sicklier. a little smaller, a little more timid. hides in remy or virgils jackets frequently

All of which is to say that this is a fraught extended metaphor that sometimes trauma changes you, and it changes your relationships, and it changes the way you feel attraction, and all of that is okay. it doesnt make those feelings or relationships less real or loving or valid.

anyway this is my monster. im not going to write it (please dont ask) but some people have expressed that they were glad i still shared it, so have some bite sized angst

#ask #Anonymous #laoft ask #rape cw

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theghostbunnie · 8 months

Note

How do you see Max and Nikki’s relationship?

As siblings

I know that's like sometimes what ppl say when there's a straight pairing popular ship (makki) vs a gay popular one (maxneil) and they don't really mean it they just mean they have a uncomfortbilty or hatred towards one of the ships, but in my mind they're literally twins/hj

I have AUs where they're twins, half siblings, step siblings. I love them sm..There's even a line in one of the end credit rap songs that goes something like "we may not have the same color skin but imma treat em like my twin" and I'm like ah yes,,, something to feed into my delusions/j

((on a more srs note I feel like more ppl should look into the end credit lyrics alot of it seems specifically written to fit Max and might give people a better insight into his characterization))

But enough of my fannon delusions n self indulgence they're obviously not actually siblings they're best friends BUT they didn't start off that way no matter how sweet the "you now have three little bastards to deal with" line is bc in the first season, earlier episodes he's more of an asshole to her bc they're still getting to know each other.

He broke her instrument, quicker to basically tell her to shut up on multiple occasions, ect.

Back to the first episode, Max operates BIG on first impressions. Off the bat he's touching Neil's shoulder, he's impressed by his disrespect to authority, he wants to hotwire the bus with him. But Nikki? Hardly addressing her. Even says "why would you help us?" Bc despite biting him, she appeared to be just a 'little more violent, mini-David.' THAT was his first impression of her. Nikki didn't have his attention or respect technically until he learned her willingness to seek and cause chaos near the end of the episode. There's times at later points where she's clearly getting on his nerves.

I'm pretty sure I already wrote out a whole in depth thing about how Max has issues getting attached to people and will fight it off and deny it once it happens even at the cost of their feelings (points at camp corp episode) where as Nikki is a social person who has been denied a real friend til she came to camp campbell same as Neil, who is NOT a social person. They both start off clingy towards Max for this but Nikki works past it and makes 2 other friends while Neil doesn't.

So recap: Max builds a team of two other kids he can just share a common goal with at first, is a bit of a jerk to Nikki initially at times, but she grows on him and now he really values her as a friend n cares for her deeply.

But now onto NIKKI'S POV: She'd been bullied before, it was a traumatic experience for her yes but that's also the ONLY information we have on any past relationships she's had with peers, kids her own age. Any other time she's talking about someone she knew it's often just her mom. sometimes her dad (often not painting a good picture of him but through a childhood innocence lense) or an animal she knew.

So when she makes her first friend group in camp campbell her only prior experience with one is in the flower scouts. Nikki picked up bad habits from them bc she's a kid and doesn't have the emotional maturity to analyze her every behavior.

So when Max is being the type of person who was being quick to shut her down, who (in her own words) was micro managing her, and only ever seemed like he was having a good time when they were doing what HE planned to do, ofc she's gonna start harboring some complaints. Nikki isn't gonna sit down and talk about her feelings to him like an adult she's gonna do what the flower scouts taught her and you talk shit about the problem to OTHER friends.

This isn't to say she secretly hates him, no I firmly believe she deeply cares about him too but they're both flawed people so their friendship has flaws too that doesn't make it void of care for one another.

You can't unbiasedly hate on Nikki for that scene she's mocking him if you're not even taking into consideration WHAT her original issue was. Nikki shit talks, Max has control issues.

As episodes progress I think they really seem to work past it and become better people AND I THINK THAT'S RLLY SWEET I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP ❣️❣️

The way they interact with each other throughout the series really shows that their differences might cause some clashing but they have FUN together and I think their differences and problems just make them more interesting characters

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mayakern · 1 year

Note

Adding my two cents here, hope you don't mind... The entire synthetic vs natural fiber argument is really reminding me of the plastic straw debate.... And I feel like the arguments are ignoring the nuance of the situations. Would I love if everything everywhere could be natural and biodegradable etc etc? Sure! Ofc! Except when degrading is what you DON'T want. I need to drink with a straw sometimes due to a bunch of personal health and sensory reasons. You know what sucks? Finding the fancy paper straw the cafe gave you has started to degrade part way through your drink. Or going somewhere that doesn't have straws at all. And personal stainless steel straws are a sensory nightmare!

Regarding clothing, I'd rather have a high quality polyester skirt that I can where over and over for years than a cotton skirt that will, given the material, eventually wear down regardless of how you care for it. I have synthetic blend shirts in my closet that I've had a literal decade and that I still wear! And I've had plenty of natural fiber clothes become sensory hell that I maybe got 3 or 4 wears out of. Polyester and other moisture wicking blends are also the best options for exercising and camping, especially if you have a tendency (like me) to overheat and oversweat. Cotton takes ages to dry out and doesn't breathe nearly as well.

And none of the natural fiber arguments ever seem to take the environmental costs to produce those natural fibers into account. A lot of the time they require a lot of water to grow and maintain on land they're likely not native to, planted in ways that push native plants and animals from their own environments. How is that necessarily better?

There are pros and cons of both fabric types. And ignoring that in favor of purely natural fibers can have negative impacts on people who may not have other choices. Like disabled people. Fat people. Poor people. People running small businesses. I promise, those of us that fall into any or all of those categories who are also environmentally conscious have looked into alternative options. And if we've gone back to synthetics? It's because we don't have one or we've weighed our options and came to the conclusion that actually, synthetic IS the more viable option.

When it comes right down to it, I think it's how we treat the garments and how long we continue wearing them that makes a difference, not what the materials are. Fast fashion is the problem. Not synthetic material itself.

I'm GLAD you provide high quality, durable, ethically sourced synthetic material skirts made in sizes and patterns we can't get anywhere else, all at a relatively affordable price point. Thank you!

And I apologize this is so long I just think, in this instance, the arguments can be a bit ridiculous sometimes. 😅

this is another facet and honestly part of it i just haven't had the energy to address. there's a lot of nuance to a situation that is often treated without nuance. you mentioned straws, which i think is a good comparison, but to me it really reminds me of the big push towards veganism a few years ago that completely overlooked labor concerns and that these "superfood" or alternative grain fads were incredibly destructive to the communities that relied on those foods as staples.

anyway that's a whole other issue with its own host of difficulties that i'm really not equipped to dig into haha

but yeah the quality in the construction of a garment and how it's treated (i.e. if it's worn for years or discarded after one use) bare way more impact on the environment than people realize.

the problem is, it is a lot easier and more profitable to sell people on changing WHAT they consume (natural vs synthetic) rather than HOW they consume.

#ask #long post

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dotieeee · 1 year

Text

The Dream That Got Away

Chapter 6

Pairing: Dark!Morpheus x You (no Y/N!)

This is a multi-chapter fic — Weekly updates (either Saturday or Sunday) because I found a rhythm of sorts lol

(The entire fic has been outlined, so I will see this to the end, you have my word)

**********************************************************

Link to the Masterlist

Overall Warnings!! Take heed:

Morpheus is DARK – in canon, he changes for the better (or at least, tries to – but we don’t do canon lol, so he goes even more batshit crazy) cue obsession, manipulation, possessiveness, powerplay

18+ ONLY – explicit scenes will be present, some explicit language

DUB-CON and NON-CON scenes

Character death (sort of)

Creator vs Creation drama

And other dark stuff that may be added in the future

This chapter’s warnings:

mentions of blood and gore

some mentions of violence

You have been warned!! Proceed with caution!!!

Link to the previous chapter

Chapter 6: The Sleep Doctor

The moment you come to, you sit up, your hands automatically grasping your throat, rasping for air. Gentle hands immediately rub your back, soothing your violent coughing until your breathing evens out. Those hands shove a glass of water into yours, and you drink – but you drink too quickly – your burst into another coughing fit.

“Mera, how you worried me. What happened to you?”

It takes you a while to compose yourself, but eventually, you find the voice to say, “The waters…”

Lucienne regards you with worry etched all over her face. “You’ve been out cold for three days, Mera. I found you on the shore, unconscious.”

Swallowing thickly, your own face, contorted with malevolent intent, flashes before your eyes. You shake the mental image away, before getting up to your feet from the floor which you lay moments ago.

You look around mournfully at the throne room, or what is left of it. The great stone pillars have toppled down many years ago, and their rubble now littered the floor, along with the shards of glass that were once the stained murals that adorned the walls. Everything that made hall the luxurious, fit for a king, lay on your feet in ruins. You let the tears sting your eyes as they fall freely, but you don’t brush them away – there was no one else, save Lucienne, to see them, after all.

“We’re running out of time, Lucienne.”

The librarian, even without her domain, stands steadfast. “Have faith, Mera. I know he will return.”

“Until then, I will keep looking.”

Shaking her head, Lucienne counters, “I’m not sure it’s wise to go on. You could be trapped in there for all we know.”

You smile ruefully as you turn to face her, your mind already made up. “I have to try,” for the Dreaming, you add silently.

***

At the mark of your Dream King’s one hundred and fifth year of departure, there were only you and Lucienne left manning the palace ruins. Not that there was anything left to do. You both gave up clearing the debris off the floors about three decades ago, seeing as after you had swept the floor, more of the accursed rubble would fall from the ceiling and the walls, easily doubling the effort. All there was left to do was to watch the Realm perish in the absence of the monarch it answered to.

And it’s for its sake that you continue the cycle of braving the treacherous sea of dreams and returning from it after long periods. Your connection with its shores has significantly thinned over the decades, and every visit cost you days of rest, often coming back ashore unconscious or in a severely weakened state. Lucienne had kindly taken upon herself to wait on the sandy coast for your arrival every time you venture out to the dreams of the mortals.

So, with a small wave of farewell to Lucienne and a deep breath, you take a plunge into the darkened waters of the ocean of dreams, knowing full well what you had signed up for.

After what seems an eternity battling with the waters and searching for a dream-link you could latch on to, you land, face-flat, on a carpeted floor. Groaning at your rather painful landing, you get up and try to find out whose dream you managed to get on. The room had strikingly gray walls, and sleek yet minimal interior décor that matched the furniture – the desk, almost empty save for a desktop computer, and the bookshelf at the corner, plus the glass coffee table at the center, surrounded by a gray, velour sofa-set – all illuminated by bright, natural sunlight filtering through the expansive glass windows. You know this modern-brutalist study; you’ve been here months before, but only once – the Sleep Doctor, as you have discovered, was pretty damn hard to catch.

You walk excitedly to the bookshelf, noting how it has been ages since you have last held a book. The books were arranged, not by name but by the spine colour – you let out a soft chuckle at the peculiarity. A book called Sleep Better with Science intrigues you, but before you could pick it up, you hear the loud clearing of a throat behind you.

“Ah, so the Sleep Doctor decides to finally entertain his guest,” you mutter to yourself, reaching for the book to inspect its premise.

“You’re not supposed to be here.”

Whipping your head around, you look directly into the green, mildly bewildered eyes of Oliver Chapman, frozen in his place with a finger pointing at you. You don’t fail to notice the bands attached to his fingers, with wires that seem to connect to a kind of bracelet he’s wearing.

You’ve only been seen a handful of times in your true form by lucid dreamers – they have become a rarity as time went on, but you knew how to deal with them – an outlandish, over-the-top dream-element that didn’t quite belong in their environment always did the trick. So, with a flick of your wrist, you conjure a lion in the middle of his office, which you order to pounce on him (it won’t hurt him, you think to yourself). The Sleep Doctor, mimicking your hand movement, somehow makes the lion vanish into thin air.

“What in the living hell was that all about?” He calls out indignantly, backing away warily.

But you ignore him. You just stare at him with your mouth agape, wondering how on earth he had managed to single-handedly will a powerful dream-element to disappear of his own volition. He is, by far, the most powerful lucid dreamer you have ever come across. Is his ability to control his dreams coming from the strange device on his wrist?

“This is fascinating!” You whisper to yourself, not caring that you’re now unabashedly ogling at him.

“Hey, this is my dream, and I’d like to know who you are, how you got in here, and how you just made a fucking lion appear in my office,” he commands with false bravado, his posture straightening, trying to intimidate. He’s doing it rather poorly, you note, and he’s now completely red in the ears at the undivided attention he’s getting from you.

You cover your mouth and try to stifle a laugh bubbling at your throat, to no avail. It’s the first genuine laugh you’ve let out for decades, but he doesn’t know that. Bristling at your reaction, he asks, “Hey, what’s so funny about all this?”

You wave his question away, letting your laughter die down. This is going to be fun.

“Sorry about that,” you start, still breathless. “My name is Mera, and I’m a dream.”

“Huh.” He rubs the back of his head awkwardly. “I can see that. But how…” he starts gesturing at you and the middle of the study.

Grinning ear-to-ear, you simply reply, “You’re going to be in for a wild ride.”

***

“You mean your… kind exists, and there’s a god of Dreams orchestrating all of this?”

Disbelief mars the features of Oliver Chapman, now lying on the L-shaped sofa with his hands crossed on his chest like he’s about to spill his wildest secrets to an unsuspecting therapist.

“He’s not a god, he’s called an ‘Endless,’” you correct him, lazily swinging your legs over the arms of the velour sofa you’re lounging on and hugging the throw pillow. “They’re immensely powerful beings that have been around since the dawn of –”

“Endless? There are others like him?” He props his elbows on the couch so he can raise his head to face you with a baffled expression.

“Yes, now keep up, please,” you jest, growing more amused by the minute at how he’s taking in all this new information. “Point is, we have the abilities to shape what you see in –”

“Hang on,” Once again he interrupts you, now fully sitting up on the sofa, placing one hand on his chin. “How can I be so sure I’m not just dreaming all of this? I mean, for all I know, you could just be a manifestation of my repressed sexual urges or my subconscious desire for an extremely attractive –”

You chuck the pillow at him which hits him in the face. “Are you going to let me finish or what?”

“Yeah, sorry, do continue, please,” he quips cheekily. “You have the power to…?”

“Shape what you see in your dreams, as I was about to say before I was rudely interrupted. Anyway, each of us has unique functionality – I for one was made to inspire.”

Now fully facing you, with his hands on his knees, he curiously asks, “Inspire how?”

“Let’s say you’ve been bored with routine, or you’ve recently been living your life aimless, an empty shell,” You respond thoughtfully. “I come in and help you find passion in life. Or recover it, granted you’ve already discovered it and just lost it in the past.”

“And there are others like you? Nightmares, too?”

You nod enthusiastically. “Yes, indeed.”

Leaning back on the sofa, he pauses, as if trying to recall something. “Wait a tick,” he slowly starts. “You’ve been here before – once, months ago.”

Smirking, you point a finger gun at him, confirming his conclusion. “Bingo! How’d that work for you?”

His face lights up at your question, motioning to the odd bracelet he’s wearing. “You helped me with…with a lot of things!”

“In that one visit?” You tilt your head questioningly. Your visit with him then was rather uneventful – you recall only turning a book with the title The Science of Sleep on the covers, but it escapes you what page it was, leaving the open book on his table hastily when your link to the sands sparked back to life.

Oliver springs up from the sofa energetically, hands flailing wildly. “Yeah! You…I…Jesus, you’ve no idea what you helped me accomplish, I could just kiss you right now – not that I’d ever…” he pauses awkwardly at your raised eyebrow, running his hands through his gray hair. “So, this is real – all of it! And this thing on my wrist is the proof…”

“I guess you could say that, yes.”

He starts pacing at the center of his study, muttering to himself excitedly. “This is brilliant. This… this is amazing.” Turning to you, he says, “You’re amazing. Sorry, could I offer you some tea? I completely forgot, what with you barging in, the lion and all…”

“Yes, that’d be lovely, thank you,” you reply, giving him a warm smile, happy with knowing you had made a difference, no matter how brief your visit was.

Ears going red once more, he mumbles, “Hang on, shit, I gotta get a kitchen –”

“You realize you can just make one appear out of thin air, right?”

“Oh, right,” he says sheepishly, hand going through his locks once more. You observe he seems to have a habit of running his hands through his hair when he’s nervous. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

With a look of concentration on his face, he waves his wrist, and a cup of tea appears on the coffee table. You take the cup and sip. It’s the first cup of tea you’ve had in years since the kitchen in the Dreaming collapsed on itself. And it’s quite possibly the most delicious cup you’ve ever had.

“Hmm. Needs work. Not bad, though, for a Sleep Doctor,” you tease.

“Ollie. Just call me Ollie. I’m not a sleep doctor, not anymore. Well, I was a sleep technician, but I retired.”

Interest piqued, you set the cup down, your brain swimming with more questions than you can process. Ollie is proving to be an intriguing dreamer – it certainly wouldn’t hurt if you stuck around for a moment and prod him around, would it?

“Well, Ollie, I’ve told you about my job; why don’t you tell me about yours?”

He beams brightly at you, and he starts opening his mouth –

But he gets interrupted by a beeping that seems to reverberate through the entire dream.

“Shit, that’s my alarm. Listen: stay here, I’ll come back, and I can show you what I’ve been up to. Will you wait for me?” he asks, his eyes hopeful, posture tense as he awaits your response.

You couldn’t lose this opportunity to find out more about him and his field, especially since it’s so closely related to your function. “Sure, I will.”

He releases an audible sigh of relief, then disappears, taking with him the beeping sound, leaving you alone in the dream, the atmosphere dulling without his presence.

And so, you lie back on the sofa, wondering what stories the Sleep Doctor has to tell in his return.

***

What he had in store for you was way more than what you have imagined.

It turns out the book you had left open on his desk had led him to a fantastic discovery. He, being a sleep technician, as he called it, knew the sleep stages as he had studied them for years. The book, however, left him with a striking, out-of-this-world idea of trying to control and prolong one of the sleep stages humanity has yet to tap into to cure any sleeping sickness – the hypnagogic sleeping stage.

You were aware of how far the mortals have gone to try to understand the realm of your master, and the science simply mesmerized you. Ollie took that thrill to another level. The human brain, he notes, seems to be more receptive to learning and creativity in the state of hypnagogia compared to other stages of sleep, including the more popular lucid state. Problem is, you’ve been in hypnagogic dreams, and they never last long, so the dreamers' interaction with the dream elements you create tends to be more limited. He knows this all too well, and this is what he aims to remedy.

“You know, Salvador Dali used to hold this steel ball in his hand before taking a nap,” you tell him. “It was his way of getting into this stage, and his dreams were just mind-blowing, it was a pleasure to watch him create this imagery out of nothing.”

“Whoa, you’ve been to Dali’s dreams? Just how old are you?” he wonders aloud, turning to face you with a teasing expression. You shove him playfully on his arm with a little too much force, earning an indignant ‘hey’ from him.

But it was through the steel ball method that he engineered the bracelet he’s wearing – it serves as a tracking device that recognizes the sleeper’s entrance to the hypnagogic state through their heart rate, finger muscle movement, and sweat gland activity. The sleeper naps with their fist clenched, and then when it relaxes as they fall asleep, the computer application starts a timer, then wakes them up to record the dream they had in the nap. This recorded message would then be played during the sleeper's second trip to hypnagogia, allowing them to potentially control everything in the dream, including willing themselves to wake up. Repeating this process, he says eagerly, seemed to have positive effects on his creativity levels when he tested it himself. He has yet to test anyone with sleeping sickness, though.

“So yeah, this is what I’ve accomplished because of you,” he finishes, rubbing the back of his head and gauging your reaction. “I probably lost you there, sorry, I tend to ramble a lot…” chuckling self-consciously.

But no – you were enraptured the entire time, and you caught his every word. Saying you’re impressed with his invention was a huge understatement.

You flash him an encouraging smile, voicing your feedback. “You must know that this isn’t just my doing: I merely enhanced what was already there within you.”

Wriggling his eyebrows suggestively, he starts, “Are you calling me a genius? I suppose I am quite the dashing, brilliant young bachelor –”

“Just show me the app, please,” you retort, pinching your nose bridge in mock annoyance. So, he’s chatty, sassy, and nervous – what a combination, you note inwardly.

And he laughs. It’s a pleasant, contagious sound; you couldn’t help but laugh along with him.

“Feel free to smack me on the head when I get cocky.” He beckons to the computer on the desk, intending to pull up the application.

As you watch him unlock his desktop computer, he asks in a more serious tone: “But wouldn’t this interfere with your work, as dreams? Are you okay with this?”

“Are you kidding me? We need all the help we can get, even with the Dream Lord around,” you respond, watching keenly for the app to load. “I, for one, would embrace this technology if it meant encouraging creativity among our dreamers and ridding them of any sleep disturbances. The potential this would unlock is just too great to ignore.”

“Exactly my point!” He exclaims. But his expression turns sullen, closing the app before it even completes the loading bar. “Except, it isn’t quite there yet. Right now, it works fine on my laptop – it’s the phone app that worries me, I can’t get it to work properly.”

“And this is where I need your help.” He looks at you with earnest, expectant eyes, wringing his hands in anticipation.

“What do you have in mind, Ollie?”

“Can you stay, perhaps? Until I get the code to work?”

You find yourself at a loss for words. You know you had to do something for him because the situation he’s under is partially your doing, but could you commit to his project, knowing you also had a quest of your own?

“Alright. I’ll help,” you finally answer, nodding resolutely. “But I can only stay for a week at most. Even then, I’m not sure how much help I can be with computer coding. I suppose I could learn, but we wouldn’t have time for that –”

You’re instantly cut off as he wraps you in a tight, quick hug, and when he lets go, he gives you one of the brightest smiles you’ve ever seen as he says ‘thank you’ over and over.

“You wouldn’t have to do anything at all, actually – just your presence is powerful enough to help, Mera.”

“Very well. You’ve got a tight deadline, Doctor, so let's get to work!” You flash him a broad smile of your own, cracking your knuckles. This is the right thing to do, you tell yourself. Once he solves the code, you could then move on to your own project of combing through the dreams for any sign of the missing King.

***

“You know, I could get used to this.”

Ollie takes a bite of the lemon-strawberry sponge cake on his plate before sipping the cup of coffee you set on the table. Groaning, he says, “This is wonderful. I’ve tried cooking before in my dreams, but the food never tasted this great.”

“Maybe because your version of ‘cooking’ is boiling water and dumping three packets of instant ramen in it,” you quip, settling down on the dining table across from him to dig into your own slice of the cake.

Since your agreement with him to stay for a week, he has added more rooms to this dream-space he fully controlled – one such addition was the sleek, modern kitchen you had wasted no time using, cooking and baking all sorts of dishes from the cookbooks he had added to the space, much to his delight. One such recipe was the cake you’re both snacking on. You know this was your only chance to experiment in the culinary field because once your Dream Lord is back, he’ll probably take most of your time for himself.

“Speaking of instant ramen, are you familiar with Momofuku Ando?” taking a sip from your cup.

“No, never heard of him. Who is he?” Ollie asks with genuine curiosity, a trait you noticed he exhibits without fail in your conversations. Just talking to him about even the most mundane of things was very refreshing.

“He invented the instant noodles you humans can’t seem to get enough of. And I led him to it.” You reveal to him with a proud smirk, finishing your cake off.

“No way. You’re really that old, huh?” He laughs heartily while you pelt him with a leftover piece of sliced strawberry he tries to dodge. “How?”

“I disguised myself as a helper in his kitchen, and he liked multitasking – so when he was frying dumplings and boiling noodles at the same time, I handed him the wrong bowl, and he ends up frying the noodles instead.”

“That’s creative as fuck.” He leans back on his chair, looking at you with pure awe as you finish your story. There is something soft in his stare and his voice as he says, “You know, I’ve never met anyone quite as remarkable as you.”

You tear your gaze away from his green eyes – they are a striking forest green, even more brightened by the natural sunlight permeating the kitchen – and instead, focus on the remaining coffee in your cup that has now grown cold and unpalatable. Still, you gulp it all down, grimacing at the grit you feel on your tongue at the dregs from the bottom of the mug, before addressing an important point you had momentarily forgotten.

“How’s the app going, by the way?”

“I’ve made so much progress, Mera, all thanks to you.” He responds lightly, leaning forward in his excitement. “I’ve asked a friend of mine, an engineer, to replicate the device for me so I could potentially test it on others, but I’ve got a long way to go.”

“Hmm. That’s good news, indeed,” you glow. “It seems like I won’t have to worry about leaving you empty-handed. We’ve three more days, so we better get going.”

A different emotion – is it sadness? – flashes in his eyes, before he reverts to his cheery demeanor. Getting up, he offers to wash up after both of you while you excuse yourself to his study.

As you lounge on the L-shaped sofa, your eyes land on a new decoration he had placed in the room: a tiny dreamcatcher hanging on the wall beside the desk. You frown slightly at how the exotic artifact looks so conspicuous against the minimal interior. There is also something sinister emanating from it that you couldn’t quite pinpoint.

You’re being paranoid. Choosing to ignore the nagging feeling, you grab the book you had left on your desk before your baking venture and turn to the page you had bookmarked.

The Doctor joins you in the study after a while, and you both spend the entire dream in comfortable silence, with him basking in the inspiration you provided, and you taking delight in finally being able to read as many books as you like for the first time in over seventy years.

***

A groan of frustration from Ollie rouses you from your nap on the sofa, and you rush to him at once to find out what the problem is.

You find him with him gripping his hair, huddled over his desk currently littered with the bits of paper that contained his notes – normally a neat block print, the handwriting on them has grown more hurried and illegible.

“How are you going to remember your notes with that kind of penmanship?” You ask in a joking manner, trying to cheer him up.

Ollie has didactic memory, you discover, so it’s easy for him to construct images in his dreams in vivid detail. It’s with the help of this incredible recall that allows him to inspect the code in his dreams, scribble his observations, and relay the information to his voice recorder the moment he wakes up. He’s also a big neat freak, and so it’s with his handwriting, entirely out-of-character, you deduce that he’s facing difficulty with his work.

“Ollie?” You call softly, placing a palm on his bicep to capture his attention. When he looks at you, he gives you a tired smile: one that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up, Mera. I’m just…about to make a decision,” he starts slowly.

Knitting your brows, you ask him, “What decision?”

“One that I might regret. I just hope you don’t hate me for it,” he tells you rather unhappily, getting to his feet. He begins a slow pace in front of his desk with his arms folded to his chest. “I know it’s your last day with me.”

“Yes, it is. Have you not been productive with me around for the last seven days?”

Smiling wanly, he responds, “It has been, Mera. I’ll be forever grateful for your help.”

“So, what’s the matter then?” You push him, wishing he’d give you more straightforward answers.

Sighing deeply, he runs his hand through his locks, avoiding your eyes. “The old boss I worked for… I pitched my invention to him at a dinner party. He said he was willing to run the tests in his sleep lab. All I need is to draft a formal proposal and an abstract so we can begin trials.”

“But, that’s good news, isn’t it?” You inquire, now more confused than ever. He’s gotten so close to finally achieving what he had dreamed of for so long, so why was he acting like this?

You observe him with narrowed eyes as he slowly makes his way in front of the dreamcatcher. He looks at the object with fondness in his eyes. Pointing to it, he turns to you with a lopsided grin.

“You’ve noticed this before?”

You let out a snicker. “Yes, I have. It doesn’t fit the aesthetic you’re going for, but it’s pretty.” And it gives me the creeps.

“It belonged to my father. I guess you could call it an heirloom of sorts. Like his father, and his great-grandfather, he liked sleep – fascinated by it, it would become an obsession. Three generations of Chapmans took to somnology, and all because we just liked napping so much,” he lets out a small, but hollow laugh, before turning to you, with the most sorrowful expression you’ve ever seen on him.

“This invention, this…idea… it’s the culmination of what my family has wanted for generations. I can’t let them down now.”

From his jacket pocket, he fishes out a utility knife and draws the blade out. You back away at the sight, remembering with clear intensity the last one that cut your wrists more than a century ago.

“Ollie, please put that away…” you say lowly. To your horror, he pierces his finger with the tip of the blade, drawing blood that starts slowly trickling down his palm.

“I am, truly, very sorry to have to do this, Mera.”

He then tears off the dreamcatcher from the wall and smears his blood on the woven threads at the center. Your blood curdles at the sight, knowing intuitively what comes next.

“Don’t do it, Ollie…”

Holding the dreamcatcher out, he starts reciting,

“Mera, yawarniywan, kay totemwan watayki –”***

“Ollie, don’t you dare –”

“Chaymi watasqanchikqa kanqa kay musquy hapiq tukunankama –”***

“Ollie, NO!”

“Chhayna kachun.”***

As he finishes the spell with the final line, the dreamcatcher glows white, effectively sealing your magical bond with the object and trapping you in this dream-space.

“What have you done…” You could only whisper, wide-eyed and disbelieving.

Approaching you slowly, he holds his hand out to try to appease you. “Mera, please, I had to, I’m nowhere near close to –”

“Don’t you dare come near me, you selfish bastard,” you snap. He winces at the coldness in your tone and your stare and stops dead in his tracks.

“Mera, please, I can destroy the dreamcatcher when I’m done, I promise…”

“I don’t care about your promises, Oliver Chapman. I’m already running out of time, as it is, and you may have well just damned my realm with your magic.”

With a final look of disdain at the Doctor you thought you could trust, you walk to the bathroom in the study and slam the door shut, making sure the lock is turned in place. As you sit on the floor with your back to the door, you hear him knock softly, calling your name and apologizing profusely – but his words are meaningless to you.

Like the King of Dreams, whom you’ve trusted fully, he’s trapped you against your will for his own selfish reasons. Honestly, what is it with men acting like they could keep you like some sort of caged animal?

The Doctor eventually goes quiet, but you hear him plop down on the floor and lean on the door outside, sighing heavily. As his alarm goes off, he promises to come back for you, but again, you ignore him, and after a few moments, the beeping dies down, indicating that he had gone back to the Waking World.

He’s no different from the Dream King, you think to yourself. And yet, you can’t help but wish to your heart that that wasn’t the case.

***

It’s been two days since the Doctor bound you to himself using his dreamcatcher. You had ignored him and had not stepped out of the bathroom the entire time since, still very much upset about the magic he had used to keep you in his dream. You were familiar with the magic – reading about the many ways the humans could harm your kind at discovering your existence was something the Dream Lord had required during your first week on the job. The magic Ollie used was powerful, except it had one glaring weakness: the magic needed to be bound to a physical dreamcatcher, whether it was in the Waking or Dreaming Realm, so destroying the dreamcatcher meant breaking the magical bond. So, all you had to do was get your hands on the damn thing, cut it up, and you’d be free of him and finally pursue your quest.

A soft knock comes on the door, followed by a muffled mention of your name.

“I made a terrible mistake, and I came to make it right.” He calls through the bathroom door solemnly.

You then hear shuffling on the other side, indicating he had sat on the floor. You feel him lean against the door and breathe deeply.

“Have I told you before that the Chapmans were cursed? Well, the males, at least. Dad said, my great-grandfather one day went to bed, and he never woke up the next day. Encephalitis lethargica,” Ollie’s voice slowly and solemnly recounts.

“My grandfather fared a little better – he once told me he had really horrific nightmares until he had learned to control them in the lucid state. And my dad – he said he used to see a therapist because of his sleep paralysis. Until he read about the steel-ball thing.

“So I asked my dad one day why he chose to study the field that used to give him these horrible visions. He said he didn’t know,” you hear him pause and chuckle dryly. In your head, you could almost see him run his hand through his hair, as is his habit. “Hell, even I didn’t know why I chose the same line of work. Until you came in, at least.”

“When I realized what I could do, I thought I could finally get other people who had the same curse as we did to find a way out like my grandfather and my father did.”

A pang of regret stabs you in the heart as he finishes his story, your own words replaying in your head. You had called him selfish for magically binding you with him, but his true reason is anything but. Could you trust him, though, after betraying you as he did?

As if he read your mind, he says, “I know I’ve lost your trust. But I hope I can gain it back with this.”

And what falls on your lap is the dreamcatcher he had marked by his blood two nights ago – the same one that you’re bound to. The moment you touch it, you could feel your link to the other dreamers come back to life.

“Destroy it, and you’ll be free.” You hear Ollie say.

You get to your feet with the dreamcatcher in your clutch. Your fist prepares to crush the accursed object, and you hear the willow ring creak under the force, but you’re conflicted: you don’t know yet what compels you to, but you shove it inside your pocket instead, and will yourself to another Dreamer, leaving Ollie alone in his dream-space, talking to himself.

***

Your two-week search for the King of Dreams ends up futile. There was nothing of him you could find anywhere in anyone’s dreams; if anything, the dreams themselves have become more random and harder to control, sapping you of the energy you know you needed to make it back to the shores to Lucienne.

Your knees collapse as you let go of the sword in your hand – you had just finished enacting a medieval battle in the dream of Belladonna San Mateo, a documentary filmmaker. Your disguised form, a male clad in heavy chainmail armour, is soaked in the blood and the guts of the dream-enemies you have slain, but you yourself sustained an injury in our abdomen: an arrow had pierced your armour, nicking the flesh underneath. It should’ve healed the moment you take the arrow out, but given the volatility of your dreaming powers, it now takes a lot longer for your injuries to heal. Participating in this battle had been a foolish thing to do, but once again, your recklessness in your desire to inspire had gotten you in trouble.

Another issue that’s weighing you down at the moment is the fact that your link to the shores of the sea of dreams had once again died down, leaving you stuck in the dreams. In a final act to save yourself, you use what remaining energy you had to focus on a certain modern-brutalist study and will yourself in it with much difficulty.

Thankfully, you don’t land on his carpet, and you had reverted to your original figure for Oliver Chapman to be able to recognize you. He’s instantly at your side, cursing under his breath at your bloodied state. You could hear him call your name and ask you questions, but could barely process his words – you could feel the infection start to kick in and the fever overtake your body. You vaguely register the way he carries you to a bedroom in his dream-space and dresses your wound with care, nor do you understand the words that come out of your mouth in your feverish state.

The unconsciousness that follows is a sweet relief.

***

“Why didn’t you tell me your boss was missing?”

Ollie hands you a warm mug of hot chocolate, which you gratefully accept, before cocking your head curiously at his question.

“When did I tell you that?”

“While I was bandaging that wound on your stomach,” he replies, sitting on the sofa beside the bed you’re currently propped on. He conjures a mug for himself, sipping from it before setting it down on the nightstand.

Sighing deeply at the comfort of the chocolate, you decide to tell him the truth:

“The King of Dreams and Nightmares has been missing for over a hundred years. I’ve been trying to find him since, but so far, no such luck.”

He runs his hands through his hair, before saying quietly, “Please accept my apologies, Mera, for endangering your mission. I shouldn’t have used that magic to keep you here. I’d totally get it if you left after this and if I never see you again.”

You don’t offer an immediate reply, lost in your thoughts – he had just helped you recover some of your strength from your two-week misadventure. You had intended to use that period to not only search for your King but also contemplate whether or not you’d really help him achieve the dream you had helped him conceive. But even that proved too little a time for such a huge decision to make.

Ollie crunches his face, seemingly confused by your words. Not wanting to leave any gray area, you amend, “I’m going to help you, dum-dum. I’m going to see this project finish, so you better make it worth my fucking –”

“My kingdom is dying, Ollie. Bringing my sovereign back means restoring the Dreaming and helping our dreamers.”

You set your now-empty mug on the nightstand, before looking him in his eyes and continuing: “But I’ve been looking for him for a century and neglecting my other duties in the process. I want to help you humans, and I can’t do that while on the hunt for a missing Endless that may or may not come back. Me returning here and helping you finish your experiment, means I get to fulfill my function, even without him.”

Buy your words die down your throat – you find yourself enveloped in a tight embrace, and you feel yourself relax in the Sleep Doctor’s arms as you get a whiff of his scent – musky vanilla, you note – before saying in a strained voice, “Ollie, the wound – I’ll bleed –”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry!” he releases go abruptly and sits on the edge of the bed. He’s beaming at you now, and you’re spellbound by the sheer warmth and shameless joy he can exude.

"Thank you, Mera."

You slowly return his smile, at least until he remarks:

“So, you’re definitely over a hundred years old, then.”

******************************

Link to the next chapter

Author notes on the Chapter:

***Translation of the spell by line:

"I bind you to me, Mera, with my blood, with this totem.

So our bond shall be until this dreamcatcher is finished.

Let it be so."

The language I used is the Quechuan language - I tried looking for resources on the Ojibwa language (the culture from which the dreamcatcher originated), but I couldn't find any that would translate whole sentences without me having to study the language itself. Sorry, this is NOT meant to insult any indigenous culture. I just wanted to use a language that could still depict the authenticity of the spell (which is actually fictional) used in this fic. My apologies once again, and thank you for understanding!! I'd be happy to change the spell to English if you're not comfortable with it - just let me know via the comments.

Also, I hope I don't lose you in this chapter!! Do not be fooled by the lightness in this lol. This was meant to show how Mera meets and gets to know the man she's going to fall in love with, and the man who will be the subject of the Dream King's endless (pun intended) ire and bitter jealousy. Our Dark King will make an appearance again in the next chapter, and oh boy he won't be happy xD. Until then, I hope to see you!!!

One more thing: the device featured in this fic is an actual, existing device called Dormio - it does exactly what I described here except for it doesn't cure any sleeping illness that I know of, it's just used mainly to spark creativity. All rights belong to the creators of the Dormio device, and mentions of it are used here for creative license ONLY.

******************************

Author's notes in general:

Thank you, THANK YOU for reading!!

Please engage, comment and reblog!! I love feedback from you guys :) This is my first ever fic, so kindness is truly appreciated!

Thank you to my queen @queenshelby @endlessdreamqueen3 for encouraging me to pen this, as well as to my fellow Dark!Morpheus writers whose work I have thoroughly enjoyed and keep rereading :)

Post date: 11/26/22

Edit date: 11/26/22

Taglist: Just lemme know please if you want to be added, too!

Tagging the following:

@wt-fxck

@sandman-33

@reallystressedhoneybee

@akiraquote

@safe-teycar

@ponyboys-sunsetsts

@izziclee

@spygrrl99

@intothesoul

@thecrazytealady

@tastyinspection8860

@kittenssss-blog

@trinittyy

@mxacegrey

@sarahbullet235

@blu3what

@justporple

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wuntrum · 2 years

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I love your art & your style! I’m also an artist & I want to be a full time artist one day, but I'm not sure how that may look, so.. Do you do art full time? If so how does it look for you personally?

sorry if this is an intrusive question, I just want to learn more :) Thank you! have a good day!!!!

hi!! i feel like this is gonna be a long answer so i'm gonna put this under a read more haha

so being an artist full time looks different from one artist to another---there's so many different ways artists can support themselves, some methods i don't even know about! keep that in mind, as the stuff that i'm doing right now isn't the Only way to do art full time :)

right now i'm doing art full time-i'm in a weird sort of spot where i either need to just Commit and really pursue art full time, or get a job...but that latter has proven difficult with my mental health, so either i'm gonna stay full time, or get a part time job once i see a psychiatrist LOL. i'm in a very fortunate spot where my rent is cheap (for the city i live in) and my parents are able to hypothetically help me with that if i were to ever need it, so that's certainly a factor in how i went from graduating -> freelancing. (i did also work a full time job back in july/august, and that money has helped me with doing art full time too).

my main income is through commissions---i've been doing album covers mostly, but i think for the future i want to explore getting an agent and representation so i can start doing bigger jobs like book covers and that sort of thing. i don't loooooove doing commissions to be honest---i love my clients, especially the ones who i've worked with over and over again, they mean the world to me---but in terms of actual fulfillment through art, i don't feel super fulfilled doing that. so long term, i'd ideally like to not take on as much commission work, or at least only do the stuff that i'm really excited about, y'know?

along side that i have some other "passive" income (i put passive in quotes because there's obviously still work that goes into setting them up lol), mainly my inprnt shop and instagram reels. inprnt has been a HUGE lifesaver because i don't have to ship any of the prints myself, and the profit margin's a lot bigger than other print-on-demand services like redbubble (it's not perfect; you have to wait a month for transactions to clear, and there's a certain threshold you have to make before you can withdraw the money...and it takes like a full week for it to actually show up in your paypal but i digress). getting people to buy the prints is the hardest part, but if you can do that, it's great! (it took me years to get my first pay out on inprnt, but now i can do it 1-2 times a month) if you have a certain amount of followers on instagram you can get their reels bonus, where basically if you make reels they pay you for how many views it gets; it used to be Awesome but now its just okay, the amount of money vs amount of views ratio has gotten a lot worse (used to be able to make $180 for ~40k views, last month i got paid $115 for 140k).

something i used to do and plan on doing again is creating an online shop! people make merch of all types; i've personally dabbled in zines and prints, i'd love to make more stickers and apparel. now this definitely has some things you need to consider: there's a lot of cost involved in actual manufacturing, getting the stuff you need to ship orders, buying shipping labels, etc. etc....i would recommend starting small, like just selling stickers + shipping them with normal USPS stamps, to get used to the workflow of owning your own shop. but, its definitely something to consider! if you like designing for physical products and want to actually Make things and see people WIth those things, it can be a viable avenue to explore! (i definitely plan on exploring it more, to say the least).

there's also subscription services like patreon and ko-fi, which allow you to set up a membership so that people can pay you directly and support what you're doing. if you can get people to join, i think this is great! the main issue is the actual getting people to join part...and to be honest, that's something i've struggled with myself. i thiiiink i'm gonna switch from the ko-fi i have now to a patreon, just because people seem to recognize the name more. i'm also gonna assess what i'm actually offering people, i really wanna do a postcard of the month? or maybe a zine club sort of thing? i'd recommend looking at other artists' patreons and see what they're providing, to get an idea of what that can look like. ideally, i would love to just be able to support myself through patreon and make all the silly little stuff i want to...we'll see if i can make that happen!

there's also selling originals, if you work traditionally as opposed to digitally. again, this is something i wanna get more into in the future. there's challenges to this as well, just like anything, but if you prefer to make art with physical materials, then selling that original artwork can be a great revenue stream!

in terms of social media you can also explore being a youtuber or a streamer...those have a lot of moving parts, and you really need to commit in order to see success in those fields, but if you like producing/editing videos or like the performance/live community aspect of streaming, that's something to look into as well! those people make most of their money through sponsorships / things like patreon, but having that additional revenue stream of adsense or twitch subs can't hurt!

another thing to keep in mind is that this sort of stuff can vary a lot from month to month! i won't be seeing the actual pay out until november (or maybe december? honestly don't know LOL) but i'm part of the shortbox comics fair this month, so that's another source of revenue that i didn't/don't have access to beyond october! the amount of, for example, support you get for a new launched product, or how well a piece performs (which then leads to people buying prints of it), or how many people reach out to you for freelance work changes a lot from one month to the next. my biggest piece of advice if you want to pursue art full time is to have as many different sources of income as possible! that way, you can account for the inherent instability of freelancing, instead of not being able to pay your bills because no one's buying your stickers right now.

i hope this helps!!! and i hope all the financial talk wasn't too dread-inducing 😭 i'd definitely recommend asking other artists too and getting their feedback; like i said at the start, "full time artist" looks different from one artist to the next <3

#faq #asks #THIS WAS SO LONG i hope all these words are helpful 😭😭😭#i hope youre able to pursue art full time!! i believe in you!!#(and also theres no shame in needing to have a job #to support your artmaking. i want to make that clear too <3)

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straightfromthetorturedpoetsdept · 1 year

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The more I think about it, the more I think midnights is 1989 grown up and out of the closet.

Welcome to new York to Lavender Haze (she moved to New York to be queer and came out of it more closeted than ever)

Blank Space to Maroon (you can tell me if the high was worth the pain vibes of maroon)

Style to Anti-Hero (style is rumored to be queer in some way, I think this represents her desire to date Harry Styles because he was the IT boy of the moment in order to be the "good girl" the normal heterosexual girl who dates the heartthrobs whereas anti hero is an honest admission of how much she hates her compulsion to be heteronormative and all the other parts of herself that she hates)

Out of the Woods to Snow on the Beach (out of the Woods can be interpreted to be about queer anxiety of not knowing if your girlfriend loves you as much as her boyfriend and then snow on the beach is about the first time you fall in love with a woman and you're both realizing that it's love at the time and how unique and special it feels vs how common it actually is. Also like the glow up of the start of the relationship being anxiety fueled vs it being easy and mutual and you know exactly where the other person is standing).

All You Had to do was Stay to You're On Your Own Kid (I think this is about her transition from needing a prince charming to save her to being alright with not ending up with a man at all and saving herself)

Shake it off to Midnight Rain (this is her mentality during the 1989 era, like shake off the bad feelings don't let it catch up to you and midnight rain is an admission that those feelings never go away and you need to work them out in order to move on in life. Like she's looking back and being like this still affects me, I still feel a certain way about this relationship that I fucked up when I was 19 and that's okay. This is how I process things, making music of feelings I don't need to shake it off. I need to change like midnight through my music).

I Wish You Would to Question...? (This is her taking a look inward at all the things she didn't do in a relationship and seeing how she may have been the problem and why relationships didn't work out. She wrote songs about what she wanted the other person to do without telling them and they took it as her abandoning them. Question is about both Harry and Karlie and how she abandoned them in some way. For Harry, she felt like she was waiting for him to show up without ever telling him and she can see now how he could have perceived that as her not caring enough to show up for HIM. Also, for Karlie, she regrets making them stay in the closet for the sake of her career because she never made her a priority and that cost her the love of her life at the time).

Bad Blood to Vigilante Shit (hello, bad blood is about a surface level betrayal that she was able to forgive and vigilante shit is making fun of the fact that 25 year old had no idea what bad blood would actually look like. The hot cold reaction lol pun not intended to vigilante shit resembles the hatred people have for bad blood for being juvenile and the use of cringey tumblr quotes in vigilante shit is such a self aware poke at the perception of bad blood. Like she is admitting that bad blood aged poorly and being like here's what really matters to me while also admitting that she'll never be perfect and she'll always want justice to be served.)

Wildest Dreams to Bejeweled (WOW. when I wrote this, i blew my own fucking mind. If you've read my bejeweled analysis, you know exactly where I'm going to go with this but wildest dreams is sick taylor wishing to be impactful enough to haunt her ex lover in their dreams forever. Bejeweled is a self aware stab at what that actually looks like in reality. Karlie and Calvin dream about her and the dreams are wild but not in the way she wishes and it's her being so fucking vulnerable with the fact that she regrets how she treated those two people deeply because they were collateral damage in her sick need to be the best at everything. But that bridge in bejeweled is so beautiful because she admits that she is still worthy of love, even in all the fucked up ways she's hurt other people and all the ways she's been hurt by other people, because there will be someone who sees her as moonstone even in her worst light. God I love dress. Anyways. Like wow, bejeweled is so deep and compared with wildest dreams I'm screaming at the depth and the growth).

How You Get the Girl to Labyrinth (this is a second WOW. Taylor is letting us know how Joe got the girl with labyrinth by accepting all of her obsessions and hang ups and anxieties and flaws because he thinks her good outweighs the bad. Like, she values her as a person who is dynamic and flawed and human and also I like the perspective change on how taylor is turning the finger inward, saying things like "im the one who gets hung up on things" instead of "you left me all alone and fucked us up." Like, idk, I like that she is speaking to her partner using I statements to express her anxiety about falling in love with them and not placing blame on her partner.)

This Love to Karma (this one stumped me for a little bit. I think this about the change on perspective of Taylor being like waiting around for love to come to you isn't going to bring about anything good. Like the idea of karma in america is like you get what you put out into the world and that works with love too. Like karma is my boyfriend because she realized that being self destructive caused bad love to find her because she didn't want good love at the time. They'd notice her self destruction and want to help her heal and she wasn't ready to heal at the time she wrote this love? Idk maybe I'm being too stoned and this analysis sucks actually sorry I fucked it up the first time).

I Know Places to Sweet Nothing (the contrast between I know places we can hide to you're in the kitchen humming. Like she doesn't have to beg her partner to hide away with her anymore. She found a person who gets it).

Clean to Mastermind (god, God, this entire analysis has hurt the fuck out of me but this one. Wow, I've touched on the blank space vs mastermind but clean vs mastermind is so. Clean, while it's about the desire to not need the love of someone else and being okay with being on your own, mastermind is about admitting to your partner one of the worst parts of yourself that you're the most ashamed of the desire to need the love of another person in your life. I think mastermind is a quiet fuck you to the culture that makes young women feel shame for wanting to find a relationship and wanting romantic love. It's asking why society and men make women feel crazy and clingy for wanting to be shown affection and love and romance. It's telling your partner that you've been playing the long game this entire time and them responding samsies and there is no judgment there. They felt it too, that momentum pull to each other the first time you meet someone and you see a future with them because the chemistry is that incredible).

#it works too well #1989 is when she was born but midnights is who she is #1989 uses her birth year because its impersonal and closeted and midnights uses a defining aspect of who she is because its honest #midnights #1989 #i dont feel bad about midnights being #the best taylor pop album anymore #taylor swift #personal #gaylor

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thessalian · 2 years

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Thess vs Extreme Wealth

I was a kid in the 80s. I remember that time when wanting to be rich was about status symbols and flaunting one’s wealth. And, I mean, I’m sure there are some people out there who still see it that way - who want the big house, the fancy car, the unfeasibly gaudy deco, stuff like that. The sad thing is, though, that I think most of us my age or younger, if we want to be ‘rich’ at all, only want it because it would provide us a halfway decent quality of life.

Yes, I want bespoke tailored clothes. However, the status has nothing to do with it; I just want things that actually fit me, instead of being manufactured in a way that doesn’t really fit anybody except for one very specific body type, which I am decidedly not. I also want things made of decent materials so they don’t dissolve in the wash after about a month.

Yes, I want to pay someone to clean my living space. Again, though, status has nothing to do with it; it’s all about the disability. I just want things to still be clean even if I’m having a succession of bad pain days. I also want to pay someone to drive me places (though probably just taxis rather than owning a car or chauffeur), because public transport is a nightmare and I don’t trust my ability to drive a car any distance even with power steering. Pain, fatigue, and a chance of fibro fog probably doesn’t mesh overly well with any amount of traffic.

On the subject of disability, yes, I want to be able to afford to travel first or at least business class if I want or need to travel by air. Again, nothing to do with the status. I just want a seat I can stretch out in when I need to, because I’ve spent my life travelling in coach and it was uncomfortable enough before the fibromyalgia. Now that I need to change position fairly often because getting stiff means extra mega ultra pain, I can’t imagine flying coach and being capable of anything but curling up and crying on the other end.

I don’t want a big house; it’d be hell to move around in anyway. I want a flat not dissimilar to the one I’m in now. Maybe one other room, so I could have a guest room and a study / craft room. With a bigger balcony for more plants, and hopefully not north-facing so those plants could get more light. Also a decent-sized kitchen - not huge, just not smaller than the actual bathroom. Preferably pet friendly, since I’d be able to afford pet insurance. I just don’t want it to be in this country. Politics aside, it’s damn near impossible to find a pet-friendly flat or a decent-sized kitchen in this country unless you want a house, and sometimes not even then.

I mean, when you think about it, this is more or less basic stuff. Disability accommodation, decent clothes (because almost nothing we buy off the rack comes under that definition any more), a few small quality of life bits and pieces. I want to be able to grocery shop without panic attacks. I want to be able to just get a haircut when I decide I need one, not look at it and go, “Eh, I don’t look too much like a briard yet; it’ll keep another month”. I want to be able to get my eyes tested when I notice I’m having trouble focusing on fine print again, and not panic about the cost of the glasses. (Yeah, eye tests only cost £20-25, but it’s still a cost, and the optician generally pushes you to buy glasses from them, and I’m currently working on pushing back my anxiety to tell the optician, “I’d just like the prescription, please” so I can go to one of those places where you can get your glasses online for cheaper ... which is a whole other set of anxieties but never mind; I’m just not getting my mother to pay for the damn things again.) Hell, I want spare glasses.

The worst part is that things like this only seem possible these days if you’re really wealthy. Or maybe my view of what ‘wealthy’ means has changed. Because, I mean, if I was really wealthy? Like, lottery money wealthy? I’d have all of the above. My closest friends would not have debt or mortgages. I have charity-related ideas. I sure as hell wouldn’t just sit on it, or spend money on solid gold bathroom fixtures. I’d rather buy a painting from an artist just starting out than blow millions on a painting that will only further enrich an already rich person because the artist is already dead, just because it’s some kind of status symbol to be wealthy enough to afford it.

I guess the difference is that for me, money is a thing to use and circulate, to provide for people who are providing me goods and services. It’s not a way of keeping score. So I don’t get having more money than you can personally use and tucking it away so it generates more money by sitting there, instead of using what you can’t use for yourself to help others. Then again, given that we’ve established that having enough money to have some reasonable quality of life is a pipe dream for most of us, it’s probably not a surprise that I find the concept hard to grasp.

#Thess on economics

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ledlightingdesignbllslighting · 2 months

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Why is my pool light not working?

Is your pool light leaving you in the dark? Don’t worry! We’ve got you covered. In this article, we’ll explore the common reasons why your pool light might not be working and provide solutions to help you get it back up and shining. So dive in and let’s shed some light on this issue! Possible Causes of Pool Light Malfunction There are several potential reasons why your pool light may not be working. Here are the most common culprits: Water infiltration into the light fixture Burnt-out bulb or LED Faulty transformer Damaged cable Malfunctioning power source While these are the top reasons, bear in mind that if you’re using advanced multi-color lights with remote drivers, it could also be an issue with the driver. Why Should You Replace Your Pool Light? The primary reason you may need to replace your pool light is water infiltration. Whether it’s an LED or halogen light, once water enters the fixture, it must be disconnected from the power source and replaced as soon as possible. With LED lights, individual diodes may fail over time, necessitating a replacement. Unlike halogen lights, LEDs cannot have their individual bulbs replaced as spare parts. Diagnosing a Faulty Pool Light Transformer Determining if your pool light transformer needs replacing can be challenging. If you have some electrical know-how, the simplest method would be to connect a multimeter to the output terminals and check if it’s delivering the correct power. If you lack the necessary expertise, it’s advisable to seek assistance from an electrician. Additionally, if you spot any visible damage to the transformer, especially if the internal components are exposed, it’s crucial to replace it immediately. Longevity of Pool Lights The lifespan of pool lights can vary significantly due to a few factors. Halogen lights have an average rating of around 2500 hours, while LED lights can last up to an impressive 30000 hours. Although the lights themselves may last for up to 10 years, other components may wear out sooner, potentially requiring replacements. Safety Concerns: Can Pool Lights Electrocute You? Rest assured, a properly installed pool light should not pose any risk of electrocution. A well-sealed light should have no electronic components in contact with the pool water. However, when installing a new light, it’s always crucial to turn off the power to the light to ensure your safety. Related Articles and FAQs Looking for more pool lighting insights? Check out the following articles: How to Replace Swimming Pool Lights: Step-by-step guide to help you replace your pool lights. LED vs. Halogen Pool Lights: A comprehensive comparison between LED and halogen pool lights. Got more questions? Here are some additional frequently asked questions: Q: How can I prevent water infiltration into my pool light? A: Regularly inspect your light fixture for any signs of damage or wear, such as cracks or loose seals. Additionally, ensure that the light is properly installed and sealed according to the manufacturer’s instructions. Q: Can I install a new pool light by myself? A: If you have sufficient electrical knowledge and experience, you can install a new pool light on your own. However, if you’re unsure or uncomfortable with electrical work, it’s best to hire a professional electrician for a safe and proper installation. Q: Are LED pool lights worth the investment? A: LED pool lights have several advantages, including energy efficiency, longer lifespan, and vibrant color options. While they may have a higher upfront cost, their benefits often outweigh the initial investment in the long run. Now that you have a better understanding of pool light troubleshooting, it’s time to get your swimming pool illuminated again! Follow the recommended steps, and you’ll soon be enjoying the mesmerizing glow of your pool light once more.

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lightingwebsitesbllslighting · 2 months

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Why is my pool light not working?

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edennails991 · 8 months

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Gel-X is the Gentlest and Easiest Way to Wear Nail Extensions, According to Nail Experts

You’ve seen it all over Instagram, now here’s the debrief on the faux nails pros can't get enough of.

BY ANNIE BLAY

December 19, 2022

Celebrity nail artists and nail enthusiasts — myself included — have been obsessing over Gel-X manicures. The rest of the internet is in on the hype too; the hashtag #gelxnails has 1.5 billion views on TikTok and has been tagged in one million posts on Instagram. These professional gel nail extensions have reigned supreme in my book since I first tried them and loved how long and shiny my nails were with the Gel-X tips, which was a nice departure from my typically short, brittle nails. I was blown away by how long they lasted (three weeks of long, almond-shaped nails!), despite how short the appointments were (one hour vs. the usual two for acrylic nail extensions). That boggled my mind and had me wanting, no, needing to know more. Consider this your Gel-X nail extensions course 101, including how they work, what they cost, and whether or not getting them is bad for your natural nails.

What is Gel-X?

Gel-X is a "soft extension," meaning it artificially lengthens your nails but still feels flexible, not hard, plastic-y, and molded from, as the name says, gel. This is an iteration of the same material that you would get during a typical gel appointment, made from a blend of acrylic monomers and oligomers. The difference, however, is that Gel-X is cured before it's applied to the nail, instead of after. They look like "clear press-on extensions but thinner," says nail artist An Cao, and come in a variety of nail shapes, such as almond and stiletto. These extensions can also be cut and filed into any shape and length after application. Though the extension itself is clear, there’s plenty of room to add color and personality after they have been affixed securely — in fact, the extensions are meant to be painted over.

One big difference between Gel-X extensions and other options (like acrylic and dip powder) is that, because of its composition, Gel-X can be soaked off with acetone. Also, Gel-X doesn't just sit at the tip of the nail, but covers the entire nail bed, reducing pressure on the weakest part of the nail. "I find that gel extensions are way thinner, more natural looking, and more modern than a dip or acrylic," says Elizabeth Ridley, a nail artist in Newcastle Upon Tyne, England. "And the time for application is so much quicker," she adds.

Aprés was first to the market with the full-coverage, soft-gel extension system. Orly has its own gel extension system, called GelFX, which uses builder gel (a polish that applies like soft gel but dries into hard gel) rather than an already molded gel extension. But Aprés continues to be the most popular option among nail artists in salons and online.

How Much Does Gel-X Cost?

A lot of nail salons — nationally and globally — offer Gel-X services, which are usually specified by the name: Gel-X, or gel extensions. So you probably want to know how much this Gel-X option costs, huh? Based on my experience living in the New York City area, Gel-X manicures cost $100 to $150, depending on length and designs, which can range from simple French tips to elaborate 3D shapes. Unlike press-ons, Gel-X tips don’t come pre-designed; designs are usually painted on after application. "You can expect to pay $85 for the actual set and upwards, with the manicure depending on the complexity," says New York-based nail artist Ayumu Takasawa. That range seems to be accurate for most states across the country.

How Gel-X Nail Extensions Are Applied

Nail Preparation

Nail artist and Après research and development manager Eunice Park says that prep includes cutting or filing your natural nails, pushing back the cuticles, and buffing the nail bed — exactly what you’d expect as first steps during a nail appointment. Your nail artist will then select the Gel-X extensions that best fit your nails. Before the extensions are affixed, a pH Bonder (a solution made with isopropyl alcohol) is applied to your own nails to remove any oil or residue that could hinder clean and proper adhesion.

Application

The process of applying Gel-X extensions, minus the nail art, takes about an hour, prep included. If you’re also getting nail art, your appointment could last as long as three hours, depending on the complexity. The process steps are as follows:

Step 1: Primer. One coat of the primer creates a tacky surface for the gel to adhere to.

Step 2: Gel polish. A layer of clear gel polish is applied to the natural nail and cured under an LED lamp.

Step 3: On the flip side. An additional layer of gel is swiped onto the underside of the gel extension before it gets placed firmly onto the natural nail, and then back under the lamp to cure.

Step 4: Cure. After all five fingers are finished, there's a full cure under the lamp for 30 seconds; steps one through four are repeated on the other hand.

Step 5: Paint. After all 10 tips are on, if necessary, the nail artist will file nails based on your desired shape; then it’s time for color and nail art.

How Hard is it to Apply Gel-X Tips at Home?

It is possible to buy an at-home kit — and the application steps are the same — but it's a lot more involved than, say, painting your nails with two coats of Ballet Slippers. Ridley practiced on a mannequin when she first started using Gel-X, and she's been doing nails professionally for years. If you're confident in your nail skills, Aprés sells its entire Gel-X nail extension system starting at $118.

A few weeks ago, Allure’s news editor Nicola Dall'Asen tried her hand at the Aprés’ Gel-X system at home: "No matter how talented you are with a nail polish brush, this is not something you will master on the first try," she reports. "You'll run into numerous challenges, such as air pockets in the Extend Gel, juggling holding the faux nail on your natural nail while curing at the same time, selecting the exact right size for each nail, and more."

But if you’re feeling brave — and patient — Ridley’s biggest takeaway is, to be mindful of how much gel you’re applying. "It can't be too much or too little," she explains. The artist adds that when she does Gel-X nails now, she uses the size of her client’s nail bed to determine how much adhesive gel to add. The key here is to avoid globs of gel spilling out from underneath the extension.

Everyone’s nails are a little different. With practice, says Ridley, you’ll realize what is too much or too little gel to use. According to Park, less is more when it comes to this step, and she recommends using a light layer and adding more if needed.

Those who want to learn how to use Gel-X at home can use Aprés' YouTube, TikTok, or Instagram tutorials as a resource. Aprés also offers Gel-X certification courses, held multiple times a year in different parts of the country, for professional nail artists. Park recommends that all nail artists who want to do Gel-X in a salon or professionally on clients get certified, though not all salons may require it. You can always ask your nail artist to show you their certification.

How Long Do Gel-X Extensions Last?

If you're looking for nail extensions that can last a whole month — but won't take aggressive buffing to remove — Gel-X is for you. Los Angeles-based editorial nail artist Elle Gerstein says her Gel-X manicures, including a mini-moon design for Blake Lively, last about three weeks.

Ridley says she's seen clients wear their Gel-X manicures for up to four weeks. "Usually, after [four weeks], you can experience lifting," she notes. "I find that some who work with steam or water, like baristas and hairstylists, can’t go as long as someone who works in an office environment because excessive exposure to elements like steam and water can cause the extension to lift from the natural nail sooner."

But don’t worry: This doesn’t apply to daily activities like washing your hands and showering. "Excessive" here means more like having your hands in water every few minutes.

Gel-X Removal Process

Gerstein usually cuts extensions close to the nail before using an electric file to "get rid of the excess" gel, so they’re easier to remove. An acetone-soaked cotton ball is applied to the nail and your fingertips are wrapped in foil. The rest of the gel will soften and separate from your natural nail so it can be gently removed using a tool like a cuticle pusher, leaving little to no damage.

Gel-X Pros and Cons

Pros

The nail artists I speak with all agree that one of the biggest benefits of Gel-X is how easy it is to remove. Gel-X can also better preserve the health of your natural nails. Though Gerstein, who has experience working with Gel-X and acrylic, says she can work with both methods while also maintaining the health of a client’s natural nails (because she’s that good). She does point out that gel requires less aggressive filing during prep and removal, whereas acrylic requires a bit more. In comparison, Gel-X comes off with light filing and soaking with acetone, and acrylic involves more filing and actually having to pry the acrylic off the nail.

Cons

The process of applying Gel-X nails involves curing under an LED lamp and, according to board-certified dermatologist Dana Stern, the light emitted by any light that is capable of curing a UV gel must be in the UV-A spectrum, meaning it can leave your hands susceptible to UV damage, including signs of skin aging like brown spots and wrinkles, and skin cancer risk.

"Protect your hands or feet with either a broad-spectrum SPF 30, or more, sunscreen applied 15 minutes before exposure [to the LED light]," Dr. Stern advises. "Or cover your hands or feet with a piece of fabric, fingertip-less gloves, or pedicure socks to protect the skin on the hands and feet from the aging effects of UV light."

If you like acrylic nails because of the fill-ins, you’ll find this next Gel-X feature to be a con: Unlike acrylic nail extensions, Gel-X isn't made to be filled in. When an acrylic manicure has run its course, a nail artist can file the fake nail down to the bare bones and perform a fill-in, which allows you to build a new manicure using the same acrylic base. That process involves filing off the polish on the acrylic nail and applying a new base of acrylic powder — but the actual nail extension doesn’t have to come off.

On the flip side, Gel-X is great for those who like to take breaks from using nail extensions, because it's easy to go back and forth from long to short nails with minimal damage to your natural nails. Acrylic extensions require a bit more commitment.

Now that you're equipped with all the info you need, go ahead and book that nail appointment.

www.allure.com

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