#wait fuck is it demisexual? or is it something else

[mcdynamite]

CWs: discussions of sexuality (particularly demisexuality, though Steve and Eddie don’t know a term for it at the time), VERY mild sexual context

Steve Harrington has had a lot of sex.

He's not, like, trying to brag about it, or anything. Frankly, he's not even sure it's something he would want to brag about in the first place. It's just an objective fact.

The sky is blue. The Earth is round. Water is wet.

And Steve Harrington has had a lot of sex.

Which is...well, a little bit bizarre, considering the fact that he's not entirely convinced he actually enjoys it most of the time.

At first, he chalks it up to inexperience. Everyone's first times were a little bit awkward, weren't they? Maybe everyone felt weird and a little bit off-kilter the first time someone touched them like that. Maybe everyone felt icky for hours afterwards, like something was just off. Steve had spent his childhood going to church on Sundays (at least, until he turned 10, and Richard and Susan decided he no longer needed luxuries like parents), so maybe it was just guilt.

That was a thing, right? Catholic guilt, or whatever? He'll get over it. He's sure of it.

Only...he's less sure of it several months later, when he still can't get rid of that stupid icky feeling, and he can never quite grasp what Tommy is talking about whenever the dude starts obsessing over wanting to fuck some pretty actress in whatever movie they’re watching. When he’s with a girl, he feels anxious the moment clothes start to come off, despite the fact that he wants this. He wants to have sex. He wants someone to touch him and make him feel good. He wants to do the same for someone else. But it always feels wrong.

The only part he really likes is what comes after, when he can wrap his arms around whatever girl he's with that week and just hold her - no more sex required, now that it's over and done with. That part feels good. Amazing, even. He loves having someone to cuddle up with - to make him feel less alone in his fucking mausoleum of a house. It's nice. It feels good.

He's pretty sure it's the only reason he keeps having sex in the first place. It's like a transaction. Steve gets the girls off, and in exchange, they stick around for a little while afterwards to fill the echoing silence of Steve's house with soft laughter and quiet words.

And sure...sometimes Steve sort of falls apart after they leave to get home before their curfews. Usually, it just leaves him feeling squirmy and anxious. But sometimes, when it's especially bad, Steve sits on the floor of the shower with his arms around his knees for ages and cries until the water gets cold, unable to wash the icky feeling away.

He knows he should stop doing this to himself, but God, he's so fucking lonely, and now he's made a reputation for himself. Now there are expectations, and if Steve has learned one thing from Richard Harrington, it's that living up to expectations is the most important thing in life.

So he keeps doing it. His technique gets better, despite how wrong he feels, and the girls keep coming. And Steve keeps wondering what the fuck is wrong with him - why he feels physically pleasured enough to come most of the time, but always hates himself afterwards.

Then, at the beginning of his junior year, he starts dating Nancy Wheeler.

He knows right away that this feels different from any of his other flings. Nancy is sweet, and smart, and just a bit of a firecracker, and Steve loves it. Even better, she doesn't try to get him into bed on their first date, or their second, or even their third. It's not until the pool party that things take a more intimate turn between them, and by then, Steve is smitten.

He waits for the ick to kick in while he caresses her and kisses her everywhere - waits for the feeling of weirdbadwrong to make itself known - but this time... it doesn't. This time, Steve looks down at his partner and is stunned by how beautiful she looks. It's never been like this with any of the other girls - he's never wanted any of them quite like this - and for the first time, Steve really, genuinely enjoys having sex.

There's no ick; no uncomfortable feeling in his belly that sort of makes him feel ill. There's just Nancy, who looks and sounds beautiful, and smiles at him as they doze off together afterwards. It's amazing. It's perfect.

Steve thinks that maybe he's normal, after all.

He should know better than to get his hopes up, by now.

The next year is a whirlwind of absolute insanity. There are monsters, and alternate dimensions, and little kids with honest-to-God superpowers, and funerals... and sex becomes the least of Steve's worries.

He and Nancy are only intimate a handful of other times, after that first night (it's hard to get in the mood when all either of them can think about is how the first time they did this, her best friend was dying), and despite everything else going on, the ick, at least, stays away. It seems to be proof that Steve isn't broken or weird. He just needed some time to get used to sex.

He realizes how wrong he is the first time he tries to hook up with someone after Nancy breaks his heart, when the ick comes back. After that, he only tries once more, and then he just stops trying to score entirely... pretends he's just lost his touch and feels secretly relieved every time Robin Buckley puts a tally under the "You Suck" side of the whiteboard in the back room.

It goes on like this until March of 1986, when Eddie Munson comes barrelling into his life and changes everything.

His relationship with Eddie is unlike any he's ever had. They start out as tentative friends after everything with Vecna is finally over, and then it grows from there.

They hang out with the kids at Steve's place, which eventually turns into them hanging out without the kids. They talk about the weather, and the Upside Down, and music, and DnD campaigns. Anything and everything that comes to mind. Eddie tells Steve how he came to live with Wayne, and in return, Steve tells Eddie about his parents - about how he sometimes feels like he's haunting his own home.

(Eddie starts making excuses to stay the night more often, after that conversation, and Steve doesn't mention it, but he notices.)

And one day he looks over at Eddie, who's talking animatedly to El while Steve pops popcorn for their movie night, and suddenly, it hits him like a goddamn truck.

Eddie Munson is beautiful.

Steve can barely breathe as the realization takes hold, because he's not used to seeing people this way. He can appreciate when someone is objectively attractive, sure, but he rarely looks at someone and wants like this. He rarely looks at a person and wonders what their lips would feel like against his own, or what sort of sounds they make when they come, or what they'd look like with Steve's love bites riddling their skin...

He's only looked at one other person this way before: Nancy, after they'd been dating for a few weeks and had gotten to know each other better.

He's so shocked by the sheer amount of wanting he's feeling for Eddie that he blows right past the gay panic part of his bisexual awakening, straight into bumbling idiot with a crush territory.

And really, it must be obvious, because two weeks later, Eddie's gaze locks onto Steve's while they're sitting on the edge of the pool, feet dangling in the water, and Eddie smiles. It's a soft, gentle thing - so different from the maniacal grins he gives the kids when they're all hanging out together - and it steals all of the breath from Steve's lungs. His heart races as the air around them shifts, and for once, it's out of excitement rather than anxiety.

Eddie's voice is devastatingly timid when he murmurs, "Stevie, can I kiss you?"

Steve feels like he could cry out of happiness. His answer is a simple nod, and when Eddie kisses him slowly, sweetly, chastely, Steve can feel any remaining anxiety melting away.

Because this kiss isn't a demand, or a prelude to all of those other activities that Steve wants but isn't sure he's quite ready for with Eddie, yet. It's not a challenge.

It's a promise - a promise that this thing that's been blossoming between them over the last few months is real. Wordlessly, Eddie vows to treat him with care, and Steve does the same in kind.

And it's perfect.

They take things slow - slower than Steve and Nancy did, and definitely slower than Steve's ever gone with anyone else. Steve doesn't ask for sex, now that he no longer has a persona to uphold, and Eddie doesn't push. They're both perfectly content to share soft kisses and quiet words while they lay tangled together in one of their beds with their pajamas on, for now.

It takes more than a month for Eddie to bring it up.

"Baby, can I ask you something?" Eddie asks quietly.

They're curled up in Steve's bed after a long day taking the kids swimming at the quarry, and neither of them have said much for the last half hour or so. Eddie has been flipping through one of his D&D books, and Steve has been laying with his head pillowed on Eddie's chest, listening to his boyfriend's occasional mutterings about tieflings and trolls and some sort of forest quest. He's not even sure Eddie realizes he mutters to himself while he reads, and that just makes Steve love it even more.

Steve just hums sleepily and props his chin on Eddie's sternum to look up at him, face immediately falling into a frown. Eddie looks contemplative and a little nervous, and Steve already hates whatever this conversation is going to be about. He doesn't like it when Eddie is upset. It breaks his heart every time.

Swallowing thickly, he pushes himself off of Eddie's chest so they can lay on their sides facing each other, hands tangling between them because they're always touching these days. "What's up, Eds?" Steve asks. He hopes his voice is encouraging and doesn't give away the anxiety beginning to roll in his stomach.

Eddie hesitates, face scrunching up adorably like it always does when he's thinking too hard about something.

"We don't have sex," Eddie finally blurts out unceremoniously.

Steve's heart plummets, but he tries to keep his tone light when he speaks. "Is there a question in that...?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

Eddie won't meet his eyes, and it makes Steve feel strangely off-kilter. Eddie hasn't been this skittish around him in months.

"I don't know, just... doesn't that bother you, or something?" he says finally.

Steve deflects. "Does it bother you?"

He's dreading Eddie's answer.

But he only dreads it for a moment, because Eddie's eyes go wide and apologetic immediately. "No! No, Stevie, I'm fine with what we've been doing," Eddie says quickly. "I mean, I want to do more, you know? But it's totally fine if you don't. I guess I'm just worried I'm... boring you?"

Steve's expression must be incredulous, because Eddie backtracks instantly.

"Wow, okay, that sounded way worse out loud than it did in my head. Jesus H. Christ," Eddie sighs.

"Why would you think you're boring me?" Steve asks, unable to let it go, because it's quite possibly the most ridiculous thing Eddie has ever said (and that is a high bar to clear). In what world could Eddie - funny, unpredictable, unbearably sweet Eddie - be boring?

Eddie winces, then shrugs. "I don't know, man, you're just..." He pauses; Steve waits. "You're Steve Harrington, you know? It's not exactly a secret that you got around while we were in school. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing!" Eddie clarifies. "Whatever you did before doesn't bother me because it doesn't matter anymore, right? But you obviously like having sex, and we obviously haven't done anything more than kiss yet, and I was just wondering if that bothered you, I guess..."

For a moment, Steve considers lying. He considers telling Eddie that it doesn't bother him, but that he's ready for more if Eddie is, because it sounds like Eddie might be, and Steve doesn't want to disappoint him. He's pretty sure he could have a decent enough time having sex with Eddie if that's what Eddie wants. He could bite the bullet in the name of keeping everything else - the amazing parts of this little thing between them that make every part of Steve's soul feel warm and comforted and held.

So, yeah. He considers it - lying and putting on a good face while he gives Eddie what everyone always seems to want from Steve Harrington - but then he meets Eddie's eyes and reconsiders.

Eddie's gaze is open and kind and nervous, not expectant. He looks vulnerable and more than a little self-conscious, and in that moment, Steve decides that he's not going to let this thing with Eddie meet the same uncomfortable end as all the others. If Eddie can be vulnerable, if Eddie can be open and honest, then Steve can meet him halfway and do the same.

"What if I don't?" he asks, voice weak and unsure. He sounds so small - like a child, almost - and he hates it.

Eddie frowns. "What if you don't what?"

"You said it was obvious that I liked having sex," Steve replies shakily. He can't quite meet Eddie's eyes, but he sees Eddie's hesitant nod out of the corner of his eye. "Well... what if I don't?"

Steve wonders if the silence that follows feels as deafening and suffocating to Eddie as it does to him.

"I don't understand..." Eddie says. His voice is soft, like he's afraid he might scare Steve away, and Steve realizes suddenly that his own hands are trembling.

"I-" he murmurs haltingly. "It's just... sex is sort of weird for me, sometimes." He pauses, then quietly adds, "Most of the time, actually." He chances a look at Eddie's face and immediately wishes he hadn't, because Eddie's frown is deep and concerned and Steve doesn't know how to fix it.

"Okay," Eddie says slowly, giving Steve's hands a reassuring squeeze. "Do you think you could tell me what you mean by that?"

And, well... Steve does his best to explain. He tells Eddie about the way he'd felt icky back in high school, whenever he hooked up with some random girl from his class. He tells Eddie that he'd wanted to have sex, but for some reason it always seemed to feel like something was off. Sometimes, it felt like something was missing. Other times, it felt like too much.

Steve tells him about the times when he felt wrong-footed and uncomfortable for hours afterwards, even long after the girl had left. He quietly recounts, with flushed cheeks and watery eyes, those few occasions that had made him feel so terrible he'd sat on the shower floor and cried until the hot water ran out, unable to wash the feeling away.

He tells Eddie everything - about those precious few times with Nancy when he'd felt normal, about his attempts after their breakup that made him feel weirdbadwrong once again, about his relief every time he scared a new girl off at Scoops with his purposefully dismal flirting.

Steve tells Eddie everything, and Eddie listens.

By the end, there are tear tracks on Steve's face, trailing downwards towards a small damp spot on his pillow, but Eddie takes it all in stride. He simply raises a hand to brush away the tears and presses his lips to Steve's forehead, all while thanking Steve for telling him, and assuring Steve that there's no pressure, with them. There's no timeline, no expectation of sex, and there never will be. Eddie is happy to wait as long as Steve needs, and if the time never comes, then that's alright, too.

The thought alone brings additional tears of relief to Steve's eyes, and he feels a part of his heart unclench when Eddie's arms wrap around him that night as they drift off to sleep, just as they've done most nights for the last month. He feels safe inside the cocoon of Eddie’s arms, in the knowledge that Eddie knows, now, and he’s not going anywhere. Any lingering anxiety dissipates entirely the following morning, when Eddie bitches and moans about being woken up for work, but still kisses Steve just as sweetly before he goes, no less adoring than the day before.

It gives Steve honest-to-God butterflies, and he feels a bit like a lovesick teenager when he watches Eddie pull out of the driveway that morning. He wonders if maybe they’ll just carry on as though nothing has changed at all.

In the end, things do change, but it doesn’t take long for Steve to realize they’ve changed for the better. Their conversation seems to have opened the door for the kind of vulnerability that Steve’s never had with anyone else before, and it’s nice. More than nice, actually. It comes with the sort of honesty and trust he’s longed for his entire life. It comes with sweet kisses that never become too insistent, and soft touches that never wander into unwanted places. For the first time, Steve can relax and let himself be cared for…let himself fall even deeper in love with Eddie Munson than he already is.

Things progress, despite remaining temporarily paused on the physical front. They tell Robin about their relationship, and after she’s done half-crying, half-laughing her way through congratulating them, she gives Eddie an astonishingly frightening shovel-talk. They tell Dustin a few days later, and then the rest of the kids and Nancy. They go on their first official date at the drive-in, where they can cuddle up without needing to worry about the prying eyes of the ignorant assholes who make up most of the population of Hawkins.

A little over a month after The Talk, Steve holds Eddie’s hand while Eddie tells his Uncle Wayne that they’re together, and after Wayne wraps Eddie up in the biggest bear-hug of all time, he does the same to Steve and assures him that as long as he never hurts Wayne’s boy, Steve will always be welcome in the Munson home. Steve doesn’t comment on the tears shining in Eddie’s eyes, but he holds Eddie extra tightly that night. Tells Eddie how proud he is. Wonders how much longer he’ll be able to stop himself from slipping up and confessing exactly how much he loves Eddie.

And one day, after months of chaste kisses and soft, conservative touches…Steve feels ready for more.

They start slow, at Eddie’s insistence and to Steve’s relief. At first, it’s nothing but the two of them laying in Eddie’s bed, jerking themselves off side by side. They’re barely touching, aside from the occasional brush of the arm, but Steve feels like he’s on fire in the best way. Eddie’s choked off gasps go straight to his dick, and they come within seconds of each other, too satisfied to be embarrassed about how quickly the whole thing happens.

The next night, when they get their hands on each other, Steve’s are trembling with nerves frayed from wondering if the icky weirdbadwrong feeling will rear its head. But Eddie’s voice is soft and soothing, and his touch is no less gentle than it always is when he wraps his fingers around Steve’s cock for the first time. Instead of the prickly, icy feeling he usually gets, Steve thinks that this feels perfect. Like slipping into a warm bath after a long day out in the cold. It doesn’t take long for him to forget all about his worry that it might feel wrong when he’s lost in Eddie’s whispered encouragement and soft touches.

He comes that night with Eddie’s name on his lips, and when his fingers tremble as he returns the favor for his boyfriend, it’s out of excitement, not fear.

Steve tells Eddie he loves him a little over a week later, after a Corroded Coffin show at the Hideout.

Eddie says it back.

And the icky feeling continues to stay away, for the most part.

Of course, there’s still a bit of a learning curve when it comes to their sex life. There are days when Steve feels detached - untethered to the world around him, like he’s just going through the motions of life - and he can’t do anything sexual without feeling a bit like he wants to crawl out of his own skin. And they never have sex when they’re angry with each other, because the one time they try, Steve breaks down halfway through, unable to shake the feeling of wrongness that courses through his veins like poison.

It’s a lot of trial and error, and many very honest conversations, but it works. Eddie is never pushy - never seems to get frustrated with Steve’s oddly fickle relationship with sex - and eventually, Steve stops getting frustrated with himself. There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s not broken. He just is the way he is, and he doesn’t need to change that. Every once in a while, he wishes he knew someone else who felt like this, just to have someone to talk to, but it’s hard to feel lonely when he gets to fall asleep in Eddie’s arms every single night once they move in together in 1988.

Eventually, he sort of forgets about ever feeling broken in the first place, after years spent with a man who loves him unconditionally, exactly how he is.

Until a random day in the middle of June, 2015 when Eddie comes home from teaching guitar at the music center down the road with a pamphlet.

“Steve?” Eddie calls over the sound of the slamming screen door. Steve keeps meaning to replace the spring, so it won’t slam quite so hard every time, but every time he tries, he just gets distracted and forgets altogether.

“In here!” he replies from his place at the kitchen table, surrounded by dozens of middle school history essays.

Eddie comes striding into the kitchen with his guitar case slung over his shoulder and a half-nervous, half-excited grin on his face, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet. It’s a habit from youth that he never quite shook, and Steve will never admit this out loud, but he finds it disgustingly adorable.

“Can I help you?” Steve asks with a slight smirk when Eddie just stares at him for a long moment.

Eddie blinks, then suddenly looks a bit sheepish as he takes a breath and pulls a folded-up pamphlet out of his jacket pocket. “So, uh…this might sound weird, but one of my students went to the Pride parade downtown with her girlfriend this weekend, and I told her to bring me a souvenir. And I was joking, obviously! Only…she brought me this random pamphlet she got from some vendor while she was there, also as a joke, and I was reading it because I was bored between lessons - Jeremy canceled because he has strep, or something - and it really wasn’t all that interesting, because, like, been there, done that, right? But-”

“Eddie,” Steve says, smirk dissolving into a fond smile. “You’re rambling, babe.”

“Right, yeah. That I am,” Eddie laughs nervously. He fidgets with the pamphlet, then abruptly holds it out for Steve to take.

Steve only hesitates for a moment before taking it and giving it a brief once-over. “Am I supposed to be-”

“Page five,” Eddie interrupts. His voice is soft, and fond, and a little nervous in a way it rarely is around Steve these days. Nearly thirty years of (unofficial) marriage has left little to be nervous about.

Steve stares at his husband, then flips open the little booklet to a page sporting a black, purple, grey, and white flag, and the word demisexuality. He frowns thoughtfully and pushes his reading glasses further up his nose as he begins to read the rest of the text on the page.

“I didn’t think much of it at first,” Eddie says softly, pulling up a chair so he can sit beside Steve. “But then I remembered that talk we had back when we first started dating…”

His voice trails off, but that’s okay. Steve already knows exactly what conversation Eddie is thinking about, because Steve is recalling it himself.

“There’s a word for it?” Steve’s voice comes out surprisingly fragile. Hopeful.

He can hear the smile in Eddie’s reply. “Yeah, sweetheart. Seems that way.”

“And there are…” Steve swallows down the tidal wave of emotion threatening to crash over him. “There are more people like me? It’s, like…a thing?”

“Sure is, baby,” Eddie says fondly, pressing a lingering kiss to Steve’s temple. “Got your own flag and everything!”

Steve chokes out a laugh just as the first tear falls down his cheek, and fuck, he can’t stop smiling. Because Eddie is right. There’s a word, and a community, and a goddamn flag. And yeah, maybe it’s been years since Steve last worried about the weirdbadwrong feeling he used to get so frequently when he was younger, but something inside of him feels like it’s settled into place. Like the final piece of a puzzle, pulled from beneath the couch years after the rest was completed: dusty and faded, almost forgotten, but a perfect fit nonetheless.

“Demisexual…” he murmurs reverently, tracing over the shape of the flag with his fingers. “I like it.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks eagerly.

Through happy tears, Steve looks at the man who is his husband in everything but the eyes of the law. Eddie’s eyes are kind and excited - just like they always are - and God, Steve loves him. He’s loved him for decades, and he’s never going to stop.

“Yep,” Steve breathes, wrapping a hand around the back of Eddie’s head to pull him in for a slow kiss. “Love it,” he says. Another kiss. “Love you.”

“Love you too, baby,” Eddie whispers in return.

The next year, Eddie’s students don’t need to bring him souvenirs from Pride, because he and Steve go together. They hold hands as they cheer on the parade, newly-acquired wedding rings (now that it’s been legalized in all fifty states) glinting in the sunlight, and Steve wonders if he’s ever been this happy before. He’s got his husband on one side, Robin and her wife on the other, and a flag of black, purple, grey, and white painted on one cheek.

The feeling is electric.

It’s perfect.

And Steve has never, ever been more certain that there’s nothing icky or wrong about it.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Hey! I am looking for a fic that's about WWX and LWJ being happily married, happily adopting children, and I think JC wants to reconcile? The children all have "Si" as the first character of their name, because Lan Elders questioned them being LSZ's siblings? Or something? I think LSZ arranged the children to "suddenly" appear in front of his parents too and they are oblivious but JC finds out and is surprised how sly LSZ is? They have a house in the outskirts of Cloud Recesses I think. Thank you so much!

FOUND? ❤️ Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste (T, 36k, WangXian, JC & WWX,  Post-Canon, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Adoption, Family Fluff, Kid fic, Family drama, Fluff)

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2. turning to you for this person's hour of need

i swear ive read this fic before also but i cant remember,,,, theres more info in the comments as well about how it Might be librarian/(equally scholar) lwj & they might be post grad. also he might be quoting mary oliver (but they speculate it theyre mixing fics) @revellingfate

FOUND! Lans Never Kiss and Tell by FeelsForBreakfast (E, 30k, wangxian, Modern, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Humor, LWJ FUCKS, wwx and lwj are both like ‘I could never be the one for him :(’, and all their friends are like ‘you freaks deserve each other’, Mutual Pining, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, modern diaspora au) they said they found it in the twitter thread 😊

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3. hi! looking for a fic i read at some point that had a scene (i think towards the end?) where someone lets slip something about LSZ's identity in front of JC (maybe WWX is being affectionate? or Sizhui says something to him or LWJ?) and for a second they all freeze because what if JC hates him for having been born a Wen, but instead JC's reaction is something along the lines of "oh thank god it IS you" + checking that that's what they meant and he really *was* Wen Yuan bc JC had looked during and after the siege but couldn't find a trace of him and had hoped all these years that LWJ's mystery kid was secretly Wen Yuan but never dared ask in case he wasn't, and so finding out it really was him all along is a huge relief.

thank you!! @aroace-lukeskywalker

NOT FOUND! 江山如有待 | It Seems the Hills and Rivers Have Been Waiting by ScarlettStorm (E, 295k, OFC/JC, Slow Burn, Post-Canon, (mostly), Transfem Character, WQ Lives, Fighting as Flirting, Fighting as Foreplay, qs also lives, demisexual JC, sex disaster jc, Femdom, switch rights, Eventual Smut)

FOUND! Build Your Home (on a landslide) by John_lzhc (T, 55k, LSZ & WWX, JC & WWX, WangXian, LSZ & LJY, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Families of Choice, PTSD, Flashbacks, Grief/Mourning, best boy LSZ, Hopeful Ending, canon typical references to genocide, JC & WWX reconciliation, Family Dynamics, Fluff and Angst, Trans Male Character, Trans WWX, Alcohol, Implied/Referenced Alcohol, Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied Pregnancy, Implied Miscarrage, Happier Than It Sounds, WWX is the best teacher, WangXian forshadowed, Gratuitous use of the word "fuck", Found Family, Romance, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Dissociation, Mental Breakdown, Teaching, LWJ being horny on main, Menstruation, grief and mourning, Marriage Negotiations, moderate shenanigans, asexual LJY, LJY third generation gremlin, soft italicised 'oh' moment) There's an encounter like this with JC near the end of the 3rd part.

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4. hello. i was trying to find this fic but now am unable to but it's modern au where wwx tells lwj that if they aren't married by 30, they will marey each other but just as they start hitting 30 wwx starts dating someone (i don't remember if it's mianmian or someone else).

FOUND? By 30 by x_los (T, wangxian, Modern, Accidental Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Mutual Pining, Fuck Trees)

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5. Ugh I'm sorry but I have a really vague one >.< I remember that Wwx is staying with Lwj post (cql?) canon and they are kind of together but haven't slept together yet. It goes on for a while and one thing I remember is that when they do finally do it it's a hot night and a summer storm is happening. Thanks! @yilingweiclan

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6. hii!! i need help finding this fic where wei ying finds or adopts (?) a bunny and then throughout the story he names the bunny/bunnies (?) pun names related to pop culture. it was a modern au and at this point of the story wangxian is already in a relationship(?)

thats all i remember from this fic. thank u in advance for ur hardwork <3

FOUND! Postcards from the Horizon by The Feels Whale (miscellea) (T, 7k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, JC/WQ, WIP, Epilogues, yunmeng bros reconciliation, rabbit acquisition)

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7. hello, pls i am rooting for this

Can anyone find a fic abt HuaLian being WWX parents, and it is Canon divergence? I feel like I ever read it, but in the same time i dont know 😭😭😭

FOUND? 🔒 a warm coal in the hearth of our hearts by eccentrick (T, 46k, XL & WWX, HC & WWX, SQX & WWX, hualian, Found Family, fluff with plot, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Disabled Character, Ableism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, slow burn found family, Gender Stuff brought to you by SQX, HuaLian Adopt WWX, Married HuaLian, Post-Canon TGCF, Kid Fic, TGCF Spoilers) I'm sure there are so many, but this is the one I thought of first. Wwx living on the streets and finding shelter in an abandoned temple. Will make you feel a lot of big feelings.

FOUND? Hua Xianle by Tiffany_Guinne (Not rated, 249k, hualian, wangxian, TGCF, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Madam Lan Lives, Not JFM & YZY Friendly, Bad Parent JFM, Bad Parent YZY, overprotective hualian as parents, WWX is good at feelings, WWX knows self preservation, and self love, WWX NHS and JZX are friends, Not JC Friendly, No Golden Core Transfer, Canon Divergence, Ghosts and Gods are wrapped around WWX's fingers, LWi is a Panicked Gay, WWX is kinda sickly, WWX is not named Wuxian, HuaLian Adopt WWX, WWX has selective mutism, PM is the uncle that teaches you how to flirt, Grandfather JW, MNQ is the grandmother then?, SQX is the aunt/uncle that spoils WWX, all of them spoils him actually, They have a competition on who will be the fave uncle or aunt, and this is a story about how A-Ying disses HC on a daily basis just to make fun of him, he loves his adie though, no HC is harmed in the creation of this story, i can't say the same for the Jiang though, Creepy JFM, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, HUA YING DOES NOT GET RAPED!, Can't say the same for some unwanted...people, Don't like, Don't read, This starts of mild and fluffy though, WIP)

FOUND? let this soul be your whisper by merthurlin (T, 28k, hualian, wangxian, post TGCF canon, post first siege of burial mounds, canonical character death, canon divergence, found family) has Xie Lian take in Wei Wuxian for three years before his 3rd ascension.'has Xie Lian take in Wei Wuxian for three years before his 3rd ascension.

FOUND? Narrative of Strength by erosophic (T, 67k, hualian, wangxian, WWX & XL, WWX & HC, FX & MQ & XL, JC & WWX, FengQing, Canon Divergence, HuaLian Adopt WWX, Found Family, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, XL takes WWX as a disciple, Protective XL, Protective HC, Adoption, Kidnapping, Attempted Kidnapping, QR being QR, Serious Injuries, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence)

If all else fails, searching the Hualian adopt wwx tag on ap3 might get you something

~*~

8. Hi! I am looking for a fic where everyone except Wei Ying is a shifter. However, during the attack on Lotus Pier, Wei Ying shifts into a Phoenix/Feng Huang, a clan that was destroyed years ago. He has powers to heal others and so Jiang Fengmian orders everyone in Lotus Pier to keep it a secret. He was also pregnant and gave birth to A-Yuan. Any leads will be much appreciated! Thank you in advance😊 @lilaccamellia

FOUND? Changes by Duochanfan (Not Rated, 80k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Drama, Mpreg, Shapeshifters AU, Sunshot Campaign, Baby LSZ, Angst with a Happy Ending, JGS is a warning unto himself, Past Miscarriage, Good YZY, injuries, Death of people, Not anyone we like)

~*~

9. For the next FF, I'm looking for 2 fics: (A) burial mounds arc, yiling Wei sect fic where they advertised cultivators could come perform the burial rites of their sects to lay to rest their dead from the resentful masses in the burial mounds. I think this made them a legit sect. (B) I'm not sure why but LWJ married WY, possibly to protect him? WY was severely injured by zidian and he was bedridden while LWJ was sent to the indoctrination. The one scene I recall is WY made a talisman that exploded a Wen attacker's head.

9A)

I've read 9A! Can't find it now, but perhaps additional info will help: there's a rouge cultivator hanging around the burial mounds, who turns out to be Madame Lan, and I think Lan Qiren recognizes her while on a visit to lay to rest Lan ghosts? Later he brings over LWJ and LXC for a reunion.

FOUND? Claiming Life from Death by MarbleGlove (E, 24k, WWX & WQ, wangxian, Golden Core cultivation and theory, Canon Divergence, the wen remnants survive, the burial mounds settlement survives, Pining WWX, Rumors, lying is forbidden but what is truth, Past Rape/Non-con, LQR is trying his best, Porn With Plot, Light Bondage, missing core reveal, YLLZ WWX)

9B)

FOUND! 🧡 To have and to hold by Moominmammashandbag (M, 78k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Major character injury, CQL verse, Happy Ending) the head exploding is in ch 13

~*~

10. hellooo! i just opened my x app (twitter) and found a short art/comic story where child!wangji suddenly became a bunny and then found that he's at the back of the jingshi (there are other bunnies) then child!wuxian came and saw bunji. i think thats the part 1/5(?). when im about to read the thread, its all gone. im been scrolling thru my feed but i cant find it. can u guys help me find it? thank you so much in advance!

FOUND! twitter thread i think is this!

~*~

11. Hey,

Can you help me find a fic. I don't really remember much except that the yiling city (or burial mounds ) was like well- developed and a flourishing place. Hope you can find the fic @mayavsworld

FOUND? 💖🔒 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27) Has a well developed community in the burial mounds?

~*~

12. Hi! Wishing the mods to have a wonderful day

I need help finding a fic, could you help pls?

It was a Wangxian one shot that took place in modern settings, specifically it was about wangxian having (adopting?) a baby during quarantine and not telling their family & friends until they are invited to a party/reunion and they just… bring the baby, surprise!

I WAS 90% sure it was called “Quarantine baby” but I can’t for the light of me find it. At this point I just want to know if it was deleted or I’m misremembering something. Anyway thanks for all your work! @neko-in-gotham

FOUND! What is on my kitchen table? by tigerlilly3224 (G, 3k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, Modern, A/B/O, Family Fluff, Family Feels, Cute, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Alpha JC, Alpha LXC, Alpha NMJ, Alpha LQR, Post Mpreg, Pandemics, Family Bonding, Siblings JC & WWX, Protective LWJ, Parents WangXian, Soft WangXian, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, LJY Being LJY)

~*~

13. I've read this fanfic around 2021 and I forgot the title. I barely remember the details about it but I know it's good and I want to read it again, and it was an incomplete work way back so I'm wondering if it's completed already. It's about LWJ and WWX (participating?) in this kind of survival in the (purgatory?) and like they faced challenges under that and striving to survive until the very end to find their way out... really forgot the complete details but I swear it was good

NOT FOUND and from our own/live to ourselves by betweentheheavesofstorm (M, 105k, wangxian, Modern, Fantasy, Reality TV, Arctic Survival, Blood Magic, Blood and Gore, Getting Together, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Bloodletting, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Animal Death, Hunting, Mild Sexual Content)

~*~

14. Hi, I hope all is well with you.

I'm looking for 2 fanfics.

A - is wangxian, where lwj convinces wwx to return with him to gusu and remove his resentful energy and in return he will give a piece of land near the Cloud Recesses to the Wen Remnantslive in. but what lwj doesn't know is that resentful energy is the only thing keeping wwx alive. when trying to remove it he almost kills wwx and if wen qin hadn't been there it was very likely that he would have really died. Upon accepting LWJ's proposal, WWX knew he was going to die and asked LWJ to be the one to remove the resentful energy. has a happy ending.

B - lwj is a courtesan in a brothel near the tombs and wwx goes there for lwj's music to calm the resentful energy within him. when lwj calms the energy wwx returns to seem human. it's a fic where the monsters from the tombs come out to fight the wens and wwx is the patriarch of these monsters from what I remember.

thanks. @lilianeheart

14A)

FOUND? decay by antebunny  (G, 16k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, big sister WQ just wants her stupid little brother WWX to take care of himself, warnings for WWX's typical level of self-care, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, the fluffiest ending, Hurt/Comfort, Podfic Available)

14B)

FOUND? start by pulling him out of the fire by tidemakers (T, 15k, wangxian, Creatures & Monsters, Canon-Typical Violence, Body Horror, Mild Gore, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV LWJ, YLLZ WWX, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Hurt WWX)

~*~

15. What I remember is toward the end of a time travel story after defeating wen ruohan, wei wuxian is confronted by mend yap who was sent back by accident. Thing was that wei wuxian wasn’t actually one of the people sent back he was just told about it and he has to sit and stall while meng yao tries to turn him against I think lan xichen. I think it ends up with wei wuxian getting injured and knocked out after meng yao is stopped (still in wrh’s throne room)

~*~

16. Hello There! Hope you are doing good!! I read this fic a long ago Idk where i found it. In which WWX unintentionally adopts a dog and as we know WWX and His naming skills. he accidently named the puppy "Hey". There was some scenes with JL too about how to train the dog. It was post canon I think. please help me find this fic. thank you!!! @vbhardwaj-reads

FOUND? Imprints by Lisa_Telramor (G, 47k, wangxian, accidental puppy adoption, Humor, Panic Attacks, phobia recovery, Post-Canon, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Poor Life Choices, because WWX has trouble putting his mental health first, Self-Acceptance, don't face your phobias the wei WWX does it, that would probably make the trauma worse, jumping through mental hoops to combat phobias, Developing Relationship, fluff with a side of anxiety lol, WWX adopts a puppy, Dogs)

~*~

17. Hello!

I am desperatly looking for a fic about Jiang Cheng and Nie Huisang. I literally cannot find it anywhere. It was post canon mostly, they were hooking up or sth and Huisang was dealing with resentful energy in his region and being chief cultivator. at some point Jiang Cheng broke it off, they only saw each other in passing on conferences and then huisang had qi deviation. wangxian was there trying to stop it but ultimately jiang cheng sort of brought him back. if you know this fanfic or anyone who i can ask i'll owe you my life @pandemonium39

~*~

18. Lost fic!! (Also tw for mention of SA)

It was a modern au, wei ying ran away as a teenager and lz bumps into him at a market, WY is with the wens and also has a close relationship with xue yang (they are kinda ex's) and then it turns out the JFM had attempted to assault WY as a teem and madame yu blamed WY, and JC and JYL and LZ are all in a group chat where they talk about WY and how much they miss him

FOUND? clean from the war (your heart fits like a key) by sysrae (E, 28k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reunions, past xy/wwx, xy is fucked up but not evil, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, past wwx/jfm, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Abuse, Rape Recovery, transphobic violence, Victim Blaming, Past wei Wuxian/others, allusions to past self-harm)

~*~

19. Hiiiiiii!! I was looking for fic where I think Madam Yu kills Wei Ying and then Lan Wangji finds his soul? And I think somehow the Lan convinces Wei Ying to confess about what Madam Yu did to the Jiang siblings. And Wei Ying was sure that it won't go well but confessed anyway and Jiang Cheng didn't believe him. That's all I can remember.

And Thank you so much for all your work!! @yilinglaobunny

FOUND? I'd give anything to hear you say it one more time by Unicornelia96 (T, 54k, wangxian, Major Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, No Sunshot Campaign, Angst, Reincarnation, Character Death, Sad LWJ, LWJ Needs a Hug, Suicidal Thoughts, POV LWJ, POV Multiple, but mostly LWJ)

~*~

20. Hello! I wanted to ask about this one fic where I think the entire Lan clan traveled back in time or at least had an idea of future events and so, during the Cloud Recesses Arc, they were super kind to Wei Wuxian cause they knew that Lan Wangji was going to be marrying him at some point. Lan Wangji was horknee gripping all the way when Wei Ying and him sparred and Lan Qiren was exasperated while Jiang Cheng was confused throughout the whole ordeal.

FOUND? 🔒💖 Flawed and Free by Vrishchika (E, 18k, wangxian, major character death, time travel fix-it, dark gusu lan, dark LWJ, dark LXC, not JC friendly, temporary character death, angst, hurt/comfort, WIP)

FOUND? Cluster of Clouds by Nika_Raven_Celeste (T, 20k, wangxian, LQR & WWX, JC & WWX, time travel, post-canon lans time travel, cloud recesses study era, confused WWX, soft LQR, soft LWJ, not JC friendly, not YZY friendly, genius WWX, horny LWJ, oblivious WWX, WIP)

~*~

[zarathelonewolf]

Me when the

✨Aroaceflux✨

hits

( which is all the fucking time)

Romance cool! Sex cool! I want romance! I like the way that guy looks! I wanna kiss that guy so bad! I want a boyfriend! I want that guy as boyfriend! Wait, do I want sex? No, I only want cuddles now that I think of It, I want him to only cuddle me... Or do I? Wait a minute hold on... I do want romance though! But I don't feel the romance right now... Wait I do! Wait I... Don't? Nah nah I do feel romance right NOW, but do I have to buy him bouquets? I hope he understands that I really don't want sex today and tomorrow (maybe the whole week), I'm kinda scared of doing stuff like that with someone else now... Or am I, wait, Is the want for sex back up? Yep it is, lucky me, one less turbulence to deal with! There's too much turbulence anyway though, what the fuck...

Here, Imagine this bullshit in my brain and body throughout the day. I could feel attraction one hour and feel completely different for two hours after that and then go back to feeling it. Below are the specifics of my experience, if anyone cares...

I fluctuate between feeling romantic attraction and not doing so. When I don't feel It, though, I remain romance neutral or favorable, mostly the latter, and I use my platonic attraction to fuel the bond. That means that I should likely end up in a relationship with someone that fluctuates like me, or someone who wants to be my best friend and romantic partner interchangeably. When I feel romantic attraction, being polykin I prefer to express it with animalistic behaviours like rubbing/bumping foreheads together, bumping my head on someone's shoulder, "laughing" like an excited fox and stuff, which can cause disconnect (in a "would anyone actually want a freak like me" scenario). I also want to express myself like this with friends, but in a romantic relationship I would also feel like kissing the person.

My romantic fluctuations are more frequent than the sexual ones. I don't feel sexual attraction often, and I feel romantic attraction often.

I fluctuate between feeling sexual attraction and not doing so. I don't feel sexual attraction most of the time. When I don't feel It, I am either sex positive or something I like to call "real life sex repulsed", because I still can consume sexual content even while repulsed, given that I am alone; if it manifests itself, my repulsion only concerns actual real life sex with another person, or watching R rated stuff with someone close to me. I can also get animalistic when I feel sexual attraction, the behaviours are similar to the romantic/platonic ones but have more intensity; rubbing against a body with my whole body is another sexual behaviour, to which sounds are added. I feel like kissing the person in a lot of places, and even biting them and nibbling soflty. However these urges are muted when my sexual attraction Is absent.

To wrap things up, the "fluctuation" of sexual attraction manifests itself as a spike in sexual attraction and then prolonged periods of abscence of sexual attraction, in which I am moslty sex positive.

I often feel fearful of being a "fake" asexual and aromantic person, but It Is clear to me that I don't experience attraction the same way that alloaro peeps do. When I see an aesthetically pleasing person I feel strong platonic and sensual attraction, sometimes romantic, but never sexual; sexual attraction CAN happen if I have spoken more with the person, but it still fluctuates even then, which is why I don't use the demisexual and demiromantic labels.

It doesn't help that I have a high libido, and that when my sexual attraction is absent, which is very very often, I feel sex favourable a lot of the time and not sex repulsed; sex repulsion is as rare as sexual attraction in me. I am also kinky, I would like a d/s relationship one day with me being the sub.

I feel like I don't fit with alloaro people because if I were in a relationship with one, maybe they could feel inadequate because I don't feel sexual attraction for them, even though I would be willing to have sex anyway because sex looks fun and I like the idea a lot; and even if they accept that, what would happen if I entered a sex repulsed phase at one point of being together? I am scared that finding an alloaro partner physically pleasing and trusting them more than anyone else may not be enough for them. Also my fox behaviours are something that I have been taught are improper, and beastly (derogative), I feel dirty for them (my fox soul cries rn).

On the other hand I often hear aroace people speaking of being sex repulsed and sex neutral, romance repulsed and romance neutral, of not wanting a romantic and/or sexual relationship, and I feel exluded and fake because that is not how I feel most of the time. I am afraid that I am not aroace, actually.

At this point I would simply like to be in a relationship with a very affectionate aroace person on the greyaromantic or greysexual spectrum, but is it wrong of me to want that? Should I also add cupioromantic and cupiosexual to my identity, to avoid misconceptions?

I feel hopeless, like I'll never find someone that can love me as much as I love them. Someone to cuddle with, someone to kiss, someone to rub against and play with. Someone to be my companion.

Sorry, just needed to vent. If anyone wants to write something, scold me, idk, just go for it.

[alluralater]

my little sister thinks she’s a lesbian. actually she’s definitely a lesbian. “yeah well i’m probably a lesbian” and she said it first on facetime a few weeks ago with myself and my older sister and we kinda laughed but then we both just stopped because our little sister said it as though she was just stating something that was most likely true. we both were like “wait hold on” and my little sister just shrugged like as if it wasn’t news to her. so anyways i’ve been having many conversations with her about it since she lives with me now and i’ve been trying to help her feel out whether she’s a lesbian or something else. i’m always wary about telling someone they’re for sure a lesbian because it’s a confusing experience and i don’t want to put her in a box that she doesn’t belong in, but when i tell you i have NEVER heard another woman (including myself) talk about their casual lack of any enjoyment whatsoever for anything surrounding men like this and be so nonchalant about the fact that they’re definitely a lesbian they just haven’t gotten around to definitely validating the fact of it— yo let’s fucking GO. she isn’t even going back and forth about it, just looking to verify what she already thought (which is exceedingly rare because there’s usually lot of questioning involved from her about a LOT of things).

i’m not gonna say all the things she’s been saying because that’s her info and experience but her lesbianism is so so so loud. we both came out to each other when we were 13 and 14 because i told her i had a crush on a girl and her eyes were so wide when she asked me if we were allowed to do that and i said yes and then she told me she liked girls too. now here we are ten years later and she’s like two steps away from just telling everyone she’s a lesbian. she’s already telling some of her friends that she is and she’s been explaining why but what the fuck, she’s so chill about it. she’s just like “yeah i’m a lesbian” not a single ounce of shame, she’s basically just delivering it in her vocal tone as though it’s a fact that has zero room for nuance and i LOVE it. and for her to feel validated so much by these conversations and questions i’m asking her is a very clear sign that she is. sexuality can be tricky but she’s always just not labeled herself and i’m finding out that this was the real reason why. BRO SHE ALREADY BEEN KNEW. my friends and my sister are super excited about it. i’m planning on taking her to tons of pride events for the month with some of my friends so she can really get out there and embrace being part of the community. this is SO awesome. happy fuckin pride everyone :)

pansexual mom- pansexual older sister- demisexual older brother- lesbian sister (me)- lesbian younger sister- straight little brother- queer unlabeled little brother. these ratios are insane. we’re getting so powerful

[basicallyahedgehog]

Happy Asexual Awareness Week!

Whether you are asexual, demisexual, grey-sexual, aromantic, demiromactic, aroace, sex-favourable, sex-repulsed or anything in between, you are valid and you are loved.

Whether you know you are ace, are questioning or are looking to be a good ally, asexuality.org is an amazing resource. You can find out more about asexuality awareness week specifically here.

For me personally, fandom and fic had such a huge influence on my journey to identifying as ace. So I've rounded up a few of my faves:

Let Me Count The Ways by @thebooktopus: Intimacy comes in many forms. Draco wants to explore them all with Harry.

Not Broken by Undercoverwarlock: Draco wanted this. Right? He had daydreamed about it, imagined what it would be like, wanted it. Right?

The Art of (Not) Being Broken by OTPshipper98: Draco reads an article that explains a few things. And so he shares it with Harry.

Glowing by @cavendishbutterfly: Harry's lived alone and vampiric in his cottage for ages, until a long-lived Draco Malfoy suddenly shows up to answer an advertisement Harry had practically forgotten he'd put in the Prophet. Cue soft blood drinking, quiet nights of reading and crocheting, and Harry thinking that maybe--just maybe--he might not be so alone anymore.

Like A Dream I Can Reach (But Not Quite Hold) by Cassiara: Harry spends his life waiting for something he isn’t entirely sure he wants, and looking for something he doesn’t know exists. Everything feels ill-fitting until Draco Malfoy enters his life and shows Harry he doesn’t have to want the expected things, and Harry learns happiness doesn't have to look a certain way.

Which Merely That Is by bafflinghaze: In which Harry notices changes in Draco (he’s a late bloomer, apparently), but that’s not nearly as important as the time they spend together.

How To Read A Map by Bumble_Beckie: Harry's never been able to read a map. Then he met Draco. or Harry's still working out his sexuality and then Draco comes along and fucks it all up.

There's A Word For This by Undercoverwarlock: Harry wants to show Draco how much he cares for him, but it's not that easy...AKA the one where Draco doesn't understand, Hermione goes to the library, and Harry realises something about himself.

Lightning Never Strikes Twice by DrWhoIsGinnyHolmes: Draco's soul mark finally appeared, but he isn't quite sure what to do since it's tied to the career bachelor, 'Best Lay in the UK,' Harry pain-in-his-arse Potter. Especially when he isn't even interested in sex...

You Make Me Smile by Dazeventura6: Years after the war Harry's quiet, reclusive life is disrupted when Draco Malfoy barges into it. Will it be a disaster or will both men manage to finally find happiness in each other?

What She Said by @demonbanisher: The Marauders secret language is dirty jokes, but nothing has to change now that Remus has realized he's ace. Right?

the space between (what you want and what you need) by disapparater: As a specialist Healer in dark magic, Draco has had his fair share of difficult cases and awkward patients. Still, nothing has prepared him for a curse-paralysed Harry Potter.

Your Embrace Is Enough by bickymonster: Harry has noticed he isn't the only one who doesn't appreciate the family's attempts to get him to date.

If Three's A Crowd, The Crowd Me by SumthinClever: Draco is asexual and fears Blaise will leave him due to his inability to fulfill his needs, and so suggests they open their relationship for Blaise to find partners willing to fulfill him. Draco fears Blaise will fall in love with someone else and still leave him, but neither of them figured it would be Draco that found someone else to love, too.

That's Ace by Leontina: Charlie is asexual. Harry isn't. They still find a way to satisfy both of their needs, however

No Kissing by @asexual-lovegood: Draco doesn't like kissing. Hermione doesn't understand. Harry intervenes.

Capture the Moment (Capture My Heart) by dot_the_writer: Surrounded by photographs with just a cat to keep him company, Draco was left questioning his identity and what a new label would mean for his relationship with Harry.

the trembling of the moment by @blue--dreaming with incredible art by @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm: “You’re the last person I’d have expected to stumble across on the other side of the world.” In which Draco's quiet single-parent life is not so much interrupted as unexpectedly harmonised.

Midnight Radio by EverythingButColdFire: Sirius is an actor in his late twenties. Enter Remus: the wardrobe supervisor and dresser for his new show. No knowledge of Hedwig and the Angry Inch is required for this to make sense.

Little Deaths and How To Avoid Them (Or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) by Nerakrose: Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry. Features: Little League Quidditch, an abundance of bath bombs, happy endings, and gay robots in space.

[stigmvtas]

TOWN RECORDS — JONAH VONNEGUT.

( ALEX WOLFF. TWENTY SEVEN. CIS MAN. HE/HIM. ) since you aren’t aware of them yet… that’s JONAH VONNEGUT wandering around in hollow creek! from what i know they’ve lived in hollow creek for FOURTEEN YEARS. i’m also aware of the fact that they work as a COMPUTER PROGRAMMER & COMIC BOOK SHOP ATTENDENT in town! but if you were to ask me, what i see when i think about them are: THE COOL - TONED GLOW OF A TV SCREEN LATE AT NIGHT, WORDS FLASHING AGAINST PUPIL; ALL YOUR FAVORITE ARTISTS ARE DEAD, WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOU?; WALKING OUTSIDE IN A THUNDER STORM AND WAITING FOR THE LIGHTNING TO STRIKE, ALL RAINSLICK SKIN AND PLASTERED HAIR;  FULL - BODIED COUGHS AND WATERY EYES, THE TASTE OF SOMETHING MEDICINAL ON THE TONGUE; AND OBJECTION THAT RIPS THROUGH SOUL AND BODY, ONLY TO BE LEFT SILENTLY SCREAMING. if anything, i feel like they could be STAUNCH AND IDIOSYNCRATIC & UPTIGHT AND CAPTIOUS. it’s really weird, though… because they seem to be hiding something that no one else knows. but i sure do! and that is CLOSED FILE... REDACTED. wild, huh? i know. they’re hoping no one will ever find out. and the very last thing that i’d say about them is that they’re mainly known to be THE MAVERICK. just keep a lookout! who knows if they’re putting on a facade! ( JAMES, 25, EST, THEY/THEM. )

containing themes of... the foster system ( persistent mention in biography ), drugs ( weed ), dissociation ( brief ), depression ( brief ).

profile.

full name — jonah bram vonnegut.

nickname(s) — n/a. please do not call him joe he will cry.

place of birth — west palm beach, florida.

date of birth & age — july 14th, 1997. twenty7.

gender / pronouns — cis man, he/him.

sexuality — demisexual.

occupation — computer programmer. comic book shop attendant. wannabe cinephile.

astrology — cancer sun, scorpio moon, cancer rising.

residence — a small rented house on the edge of town, "discounted" due to its' supposed hauntings and high lease - breakings.

interests — the gamecube; it was the perfect console. other, older consoles. video games in general; "forgotten" media. intense films in foreign languages that he doesn't really "get" but will still list as 5 stars on letterboxd. elliott smith. the shrek movies. overtly sweet drinks. laying in the dirt, but haha jk, but also unless? smoking. sleeping. vaping. the only things he needs. ramen dinners. programming. coding. developing video games. seasonal items ( fucking loves pumpkin spice it's the only good thing in this cold, cruel world ). old cartoons. childhood cereals. studio ghibli. being totally chill and totally normal and okay with everything. complaining.

aversions — any sports ball that comes within a 10 foot radius of him. running his bike into the creek ( difficulty level: IMPOSSIBLE ). being caught in a power ballad by his roommates at 8:34am in the morning, half - screaming and half - panting because there's enough steam in the bathroom to be a sauna. getting caught in the rain ( difficulty level: ALSO IMPOSSIBLE ). sad dog movies, fuck marley & me. 1 star. knowing just the right things to say. picking up a book that isn't diary of a wimpy kid. spiders, any big flying bug. clowns; jesus fuck clowns. existing on like… any level. firewalls. the elderly ( they make him nervous ). infants for the same reason.

quirks — plays rollercoaster tycoon when he's mad just to have the rollercoaster fly off the incomplete rails; it's healthy. makes papier-mâché masks from all his favorite video games and movies. vapes but particularly all the weirdest flavors. regularly eats foods he's allergic to. is convinced he can do a backflip and keeps trying but he just can't, like, stop?

currently playing — lover, you should've come over by jeff buckley.

notable features — scraggily curls plastered against skin, a consistent scruff against chin and jaw. the mole. gangly - limbed.

general disposition — crooked - spined and tense, but trying so hard to be casual about it. it's not working.

character study — sid jenkins ( skins ), norville "shaggy" rogers ( scooby doo ), scott pilgrim ( scott pilgrim vs. the world ).

public history.

jonah doesn't remember his childhood besides playing conker's bad fur day at way too young of an age. his childhood is a lot of that - doing things he's too young to be doing, like staying up until 4am and watching adult swim. becoming well - acquainted with happy tree friends, watching family guy with a pacifier still stuck in his mouth. at some point it shifts; jonah's parents are deemed too young, too unfit to care for him - and he hops around the foster system in florida. it's a blur of unfamiliar faces, unfamiliar settings; of never fitting in, of never retaining friendships.

sometimes he winds up in georgia; sometimes higher north. there's nothing particularly wrong with jonah, he's just a kid. a little weird, fixated on any screen put in front of him rather than playing with other kids or even physical toys, but that's all. just introverted, that's what his social worker would tell families. maybe they wanted extroverted kids, not him. and that was - it was fine. the longer jonah goes without a long - term home, the more withdrawn he becomes. no point in trying to impress some family, no point in doing tricks like a dog. he's not a dog - he's just jonah.

eventually he's put in a group home, a rag - tag of other children that jonah can only presume are also seemingly unwanted. it's the quickest he's warmed up to a group of children, and maybe only because they're around one another 24 / 7. no sense of privacy, or peace; jonah once wrestled a kid down the stairs for breaking his only dvd of harold & kumar go to white castle ( jonah became obsessed with white castle after viewing the movie ).

they - the group of kids - go to new york. jonah's still not sure whose idea it is, but there's no objections from him. he loves new york city, like, conceptually. spiritually, he's there. he wants to eat a hot dog from times square. they're caught within the week, and jonah's almost positive that if he'd eaten one more hot dog, they would've had to pump his stomach. they don't, but their group home splits up. which is just as bad, if not worse.

eventually jonah enters the home of the not - vonneguts. they're good people, he guesses. they're - old broadway stars or former acrobats or something of the like. they remind him of the burlesque "roommates" from coraline. he likes them, despite their intensity. and jonah's - doable. good enough. they want to move to massachusetts, something about an old victorian that's captivated their eyes - they want to turn their home into a year - round haunted house. jonah says, that's cool. they adopt him, and together they move to hollow creek.

kids keep asking jonah why he's not that tan for someone from florida. the reality is that they're right; he just spends most of his time tucked away in his room, coding simple games of cat catching mouse, and then mouse twisting into unimaginable horror and eating cat. and rewatching the cat in the hat live action. in a small town like hollow creek, he's still a nobody. as he goes throughout high school, that's mostly his reputation. the weird, quiet kid from florida who doesn't really look like he's from florida much at all - does he even know mickey mouse? the answer is no; he'd never been to disney world ( nor would he ever want to; a permanent grudge against Big Mouse ).

he does have friends; a small group of equally weird kids, who he usually ends up making weird, flash!browser video games for. he even goes on a date, once or twice - usually as a dare on the other person's side. it doesn't bother jonah how he thinks it should bother him, but maybe he's just used to being unwanted. he puts most of his energy into programming, into the films he consumes, the video games he analyzes. he's not valedictorian, but he does get a scholarship to MIT for computer science.

college is - different. better than what he expected; he grows out from his awkward phase and into a semi - awkward one instead. but suddenly it's charming, instead of embarrassing. there's people who share all of his weird interests, who he can spend hours debating on the symbolism in sonic games with. it's good for him, he thinks. it has to be good for him. he stays all four years, visiting hollow creek every holiday to spend them with his moms, or sometimes just to see his old friends.

but then college ends, and jonah realizes that none of his internships have led to him actually picking up any jobs. maybe he didn't network right; that's probably it - charming awkwardness doesn't mean instant - job charisma. he moves back to hollow creek, a bit miffed and a bit embarrassed. freelances programming, works on his own video game ( in the works for several years now, as the only developer, visual artist, soundtrack artist, etc. ), moves into a semi - haunted house with a handful of roommates. it's - fine, just not the life jonah expected to have after literally graduating from MIT. but that's just how things happen, sometimes. and jonah thinks that's okay.

details.

has never been a risk taker in his life. even speeding makes him nervous. is the first person to object to "adventure", and is perfectly fine staying at home, staying where he is. it's probably why he's stuck in hollow creek.

tense when things don't go as planned, or when things derail from what's already in his mind. just gets stressed easily! pretends to be extra casual, very laidback, but is really just kind of an anxious freak ( said lovingly ).

drugs / dissociation; jonah smokes too much weed but it's almost expected of him and his roommates. the house constantly smells like skunk, there's a bong that's used daily yet cleaned never on their coffee table. he has a tendency to dissociate afterwards, purposefully doesn't bring it up to his therapist because he really doesn't want to quit smoking.

not a big partier; it takes a bribe to get jonah to attend any mass social event. wouldn't have attended his prom if he wasn't promised a perfect reenactment of carrie ( spoiler: his friends lied to him out of love, and nobody was humiliated or harmed ).

depression; "it's fine" is almost his catchphrase. even when he's bothered, or annoyed, it's always "it's fine". terrible at displaying his emotions, and usually bottles them inside until he needs to take a depression nap for two weeks. the antidepressants are supposed to help, but they don't, not really.

he's only a semi - skeptic. he doesn't really believe their house is haunted, but likes being able to afford rent, so he pretends to be scared more than he is. still hates when things go bump in the night. is terrible at handling horror movies. prefers comedies. do not put a bug near him, he will cry.

the small amount of friends that jonah does have, he's extremely loyal to. like, friends until death, probably. it's just harder to make friends as an adult, and jonah doesn't really want to go through that trouble. plus, he actually enjoys their company.

had a phase where he wanted to be a film major, wanted to be a director; wanted to make something grand. but the love for film just wasn't there - he still fakes it, because he thinks it makes him look "cool", but the truth is that jonah will always be a freak for video games. it's his true passion, the only thing he really wants to do with his time besides troll reddit forums.

is a terrible driver to the point where he shouldn't be allowed on the streets with a car. so he rides a bike instead, and is still a community menace. has to wear knee guards while riding after a particularly bad incident involving the elementary school's playground.

works at the comic book store purely for the discount. his manager suspects that he hides away the limited and first edition comics from the general public so he can buy them after his shift, but it's never been confirmed.

[torialefay]

I reblogged my topic I was going to send here in case you didn't want to continue answering and furthering the concept about how lack of experience can affect the desirability of a person in sexual/romantic.

I'm 26, virgin, the last time I even kissed a guy was 5 years ago, never been in a long-term relationship and even though it is a HUGE insecurity of mine, I'm open about it on here because I have received a lot comments like-

'You're a virgin? your smut is so good and accurate, I thought you'd have loads of experience'

Which I love those comments, froth over them but I'm honest about my inexperience so ppl know I have no idea what the hell I'm writing about half the time.

But as a cis female, I do understand that it's more 'acceptable' for a woman to be 26 and have a lack of experience vs men to be 26 and have a lack of experience.

It's hard both ways- don't get me wrong because I know plenty of guys who are like...

'I don't want to be with someone who's a virgin because it's too much pressure to be someone's first'

Which for starters, how mediocre and effortless is your performance in the bedroom that you think it's 'too much pressure' to give someone a good time?

And secondly, I would argue and say there's less pressure because there's nothing for us to compare it too??

But as a female, I think we do get more sympathy about being a late-bloomer because 'she's a romantic, she's waiting until marriage, sex is more intimate for her etc etc'.

Whereas most the time when a guy is inexperienced, ppl are going to be like 'why? You're a guy, just go fuck whoever- unless you're a creep or incel wtf?'

But it's double edged because most ppl don't want to be with someone who's inexperienced but how are we meant to gain experience?

And then there's the whole other topic of a women being sexually rejected by a man and the stigma surrounding that-

Women are tend to be told that men will take all offers of sex and has someone who has been sexually rejected (more than once) by guys- I can safely say it's a level of humiliation that you don't find anywhere else.

In summary, as a demisexual 26 year old inexperienced female, pls give us a chance because most of us are eager and willing to learn and are just excited about fkn getting chosen by someone in all honesty.

i think it's okay to post about it as long as it's informational and isn't coming for anyone 😭😂 and i think this is an important topic because there definitely are people on this platform who also haven't had sex before & i think it's good for them to know that it's actually pretty normal. i have friends who haven't slept with anyone, and they're in their mid-twenties as well.

i also have friends who have liked & disliked that they were "virgins"... sometimes i struggle with the word bc i think it can have a negative or weird connotation sometimes, but i'm gonna use it for now anyways. there are some people who like the feeling of knowing they're gonna be the first dick inside of you/first person to do something to you (as if you've never used a toy or fingers before but whatever), and there are definitely people who don't give af about you & assume you want your first experience to be with someone more "special" than them. there's a wide range of responses to someone who openly says that they are a virgin.

i don't think most realize just how many people there are around our age who actually haven't slept with anyone... because they simply don't talk about it or have been made to feel weird or ashamed. my heart breaks over that sometimes bc some people simply want it out of curiosity, but others only want it to say they've done it or to not feel "weird" about themselves... or feeling "different" i guess.

i do think i've met more fem people who need an emotional connection before experiencing sexual attraction to a person... but i think there are plenty of masc people who feel this way as well, but it's been pushed on them that they SHOULD have the urge to fuck. and here's the same: it is so fucking hard & backwards to get into a relationship these days. i've read some studies that have projected that only about 60% of people in our age range & below will end up in relationships and be with that person long term/to the point of marriage... people have a dating problem & a commitment problem and that makes it a lot harder for some people to have sex or even want to have sex. even for me, i've only slept with people i've been in relationships with... but at this point in society, i genuinely don't know if i'll ever be in a meaningful relationship again sooooo ig you know what that means 🥲

point blank, there are tons of people out there, fem and masc, who haven't had sex. most of them just don't talk about it. and i don't think it's anything that anyone should be shamed for- regardless of the gender they identify as. plus, there will be plenty of people who are great at sex their first time, and plenty who aren't. some potential partners don't want to risk it as not being "great" their first time & that could contribute to saying no. but i would bet that there are plenty of people out there who would be just fine with it.

i hope you never have to feel alone in this. if people don't wanna fuck, that's not always on you. and please never feel like you have to be "chosen" bc a lot of these guys & gals choose sucky people for reasons we don't really know other than they think they'll insure a good time. i love youuuuu ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[theskeletoninthegarden]

Thinking about the wonderful poem by jjbang8, "His wife had filled the house with chintz. To keep it real I fuck him into the floor." It reminds me so much of my Tav, who is demisexual, but uses sex as a means of expressing appreciation and love to those they're incredibly close to.

It makes me think of how sex with Astarion, in the beginning, was a way of offering the vampire intimacy from the only approach he's used to. Only with my Quinntav their first night together they made it implicitly clear that they were offering for the sheer joy of witnessing what comfort they could bring him and.

Quinn had told him this before, but Astarion has consistently been baffled. Sceptical. Two hundred years and he says that only a scant few times has he felt pleasure himself while with any one else. Sex has, by and large, been a matter of survival, at best for him. At worst, it's been about stomaching Cazador's abuse.

But then comes along this Tiefling who harbors their own demon, who thinks themself to be unlovable and cruel, who finds so much joy in making their own companions happy, and ensuring everyone's survival of at the cost of their own. And all Quinntav wants to do is hold Astarion's hand. Sleep naked with him in the same bed. Sing melodies to the vampire and frustrate him into throwing tantrums.

And to get down on their knees for him, to feel his fingers in their hair, to watch the anger and fear vanish from his eyes for just a few moments, due to something they are able to provide.

It's a slow process, even after that first night. It's offering Astarion every chance to be physically near them, it's waiting for him to take the first step every time, in and outside of the bedroom. It's less then a few encounters that involve sex, itself, until eventually Astarion admits he needs to put it aside until he can be with someone in that way without seeing Cazador's face.

When Quinn begins to feel stirrings of their own sexual desire for Astarion, it's so far into their relationship that both have admitted to themselves that they love each other. That Quinn has taken so many precautions to ensure that Astarion has space of his own (understanding that he needs to be alone sometimes, that sometimes the vampire can't stand to be touched even by the first person he's begun to trust and ultimately care for), that when the Tiefling tries to hide it from Astarion out of fear of making him uncomfortable in any way, that Astarion finds this to be charming. To be endearing. To be heart breaking. As this singular person that has beheld more of him then anyone else should somehow feel as though they're failing him somehow.

(That, and this is no small surprise, Quinn discovers that they have a worship kink may add to the amusement, but I digress.)

Sex never becomes a large part of their relationship, but it's incredibly remarkable when Astarion begins to request certain acts of extreme vulnerability during sex. Specific positions and etc that, previously, occurred when he was being used not for his own pleasure, but strictly for another's. To fill a quota. To placate his abusive creator.

Their relationship may not fit the poem to a T. But Astarion was trapped in a loveless situation. He had nothing to his name save for the clothing on his back, repeatedly repaired by hand year after year. ("His wife has filled his house with Chintz.") by his own person. But finally he's able to return to something for the sheer pleasure of it. He has begun to heal, to feel again, to want and to be allowed to want whatever he desires. And the comfort he feels while in these acts of carnal pleasure has been one of the most remarkable signs of beginning to heal that he is able to find within himself ("To keep it real I fuck him into the floor").

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Hey, your local ace is back! I honestly come looking for comfort or idk cuz being demisexual/asexual in today’s society is HARD. I have always been confused to what ‘being good in bed’ consists of. I understand it involves the whole communication thing but people say ‘sex is like any other skill, you have to do it a lot in order to be good’ and I am like ‘okay but what if casual sex is not my thing? Do I just stay an ‘awkward virgin’ forever?’. It almost feels like I need to be promiscuous in order to be enough. I am demi so I want to do it with someone I plan to live the rest of my life with but all the discussion of being good at sex makes me feel so self conscious, I want to do good for my future bf but the thought of not being attractive enough makes me want to shrivel up lolol. Even though I got an hourglass body, big boobs, wide hips and good butt (thank you parents!) all of this makes me feel so…Unattractive and ugly. I also feel like if my bf told me I wasn’t pleasuring him I would break up with him and run for the hills out of embarrassment 🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️. So my question to the class is: is the emotional connection not enough for sex? Cuz I always thought it would be for me. How do you get ‘good at sex’ without having a hoe era or whatever? Lolol I am a nerd so even if I wasn’t ace i don’t think I would be much good at sex either

Hey! @xiuminswifeforever

I haven't been ignoring you but I just have been trying to figure out a way to reply to this because my feelings and experience are very similar to yours.

It's rough, it's really fucking rough out here.

It's like you either have to forfeit emotional intimacy to have a semblance of a sex life or you remain emotionally abstinent/celibate permanently.

It's like the idea of wanting a sexual relationship with emotionally intimacy is just something you shouldn't even consider now.

I don't know if this will help you but what's helped me with gaining 'experience' w/o necessarily being with someone is through self-exploration.

Honestly, reading smut, having a pretty collection of toys and listening to nsfw bf audios has helped me learn and feel more confident in what I enjoy and don't enjoy.

My response to 'is the emotional connection not enough for sex?' is...I don't know, it would depend on the other person really.

My romantic and hopeful side says:

'yes, the emotional connection should be enough for sex because if you really desire to be in a long-term and healthy relationship, then physical intimacy would be something that you would work through together'.

My cynical and realistic side says:

'Most people ie men in their 20s don't want to wait for an emotional connection to form before physical intimacy happens.'

I've listened to a lot of experts about relationship and physical intimacy where they say it takes 3 months for men to form an emotional connection with their partner so you should wait 3 months before having sex so there's that foundation of emotional nurture and care.

But realistically, what guy is going to want to wait 3 months?

I wish I could say something more happy but my view is quite bleak right now, I feel your pain and loneliness, it's awful and I get it.

What I am going to do is tag a few moots of mine who I feel would help with this question and they can respond if they would like and give you a different perspective:

@saintfool @anyamaris @hipster-shiz @creativechaoticloner @muselin @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @ja3hwa @lyramundana @daddysspecialdollyworld and everyone else who feels like they can contribute to this!

[zippverschluss]

ep 10 might have turned me off for good

i'm not really into hate watching

haven't watched ep 11 yet and have not checked the tag for a week. i thought i'd wait to see if i could write something that doesn't entirely consist of cuss words but that's still pretty much it.

i really, really had to force myself through ep 10. it felt like back to the start in ep 4. what should have been cute or hot or heart-wrenching was just plain annoying to me at this point in the show.

it started out ok, with hj confusedly saying 'that confession came out of nowhere' and me thinking 'same girl. glad i'm not the only one who's confused'. i thought 'yeah, maybe we do get to see some more of her falling for him'.

instead we got pretend two-timing. and that stupid pure / virgin / innocent storyline. last week i was wondering if sy was actually ever intimate with ny to the point of thinking he might be demisexual and this week i'm supposed to believe they regularly did? to create a plotline to exploit hj insecurities?

at this point i'm just over sy's ways. 2 weeks ago i really carried the water for him and could cut him some slack but there's nothing to cut anymore.

i thought he'd broken up with ny. he didn't. then he did but pretended he didn't. i thought it was blackmail. then i thought ny holds him to an old promise, because surely he can't be that stupid to make her such a promise after he'd broken up with her. but he was.

and not only was he that stupid, then for some reason he couldn't tell hj about it? then he demands from her to stay pure and not even think about someone else? and the coup de grace: in the end he reasons it was for her good he did all that?

fuck off all the way and then fuck off some more.

i was really angry and then i got incredibly bored and had to force myself to watch the same thing we had been watching for 6 episodes at this point.

i also felt that the different story strands all had a particular flavour of sexism. it seems to me the writer doesn't like women very much, as they developed each of them in directions that felt incredibly disrespectful.

e.g. when the mother said her depression came back, she sought help for it and then it turns out she saw a psychic / fortune teller? fuck. off. truly. it's not even funny. was that supposed to be funny?

or ny is a puppet and not the puppet master?

and what's up with hj? at this point in the show, why does she put up with it? i like her, but i really think she should have told him to shove any and all demands until he finally gets his affairs in order. show always makes her pay and suffer for everything, even the mistakes of other. it's grating.

right now the only part i'm interested in, is the part that interested me least in the beginning: their past lifes.

i really thought this show could finally break my streak of not finishing shows, but i'm honestly not sure i can see it through. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[kasanovae]

grindr - the thoughts of a demisexual trans girl

“I go on it for the mystery.”

I go on it because, although hungry, without fail eyes are pointed at me, dilated, and looking, always “looking,” and I get to sit and watch as my phone is bombarded with offers, “Can I fuck you?”s, unrequited dick pics and semi-sweet, sour, short and straight-to-the-point superficial attention, unmoved.

But it’s something. Cooling against the sometimes heated, fleeting glances and traced confusion on faces I often get everywhere else. So, while it’s mostly a waste of time and an ego boost, occasionally the winds decide to turn left on a right and I find a conversation worth having with someone I feel just as attracted to, and compatible with my sexuality, or maybe more so my initial lack of it. It’s more of a hesitation— and a smart one, because if there’s anything I’ve found about the app, it’s that it can be cruel and dangerous beyond emotional.

So, the winds blew over a pretty good one my way recently, and we both talked about how a late enough night with a cool enough person seems to get you to spill simple but profound truths about yourself. I know it’s true. “What’s this mystery you say?” he asked, intrigued.

“It might be a mystery to me too,” I admitted. A hookup app is not often philosophical but I wondered, is this wild west saloon of an app really the only place for men, queer and non-queer, afraid to be seen as queer, to open up, to make connections aligned with their truth? And is it really the only place I’ll find attention aligned with mine?

Well, the morning came and in the space of the handsome, kind man who showed me pictures of his pet cat and said he would’ve held my hand if he could, there was an empty seat and the dying shake of closing doors. He— the profile— was gone, and so I see the mystery, clearer, honest and slurred like a sleep-deprived secret: the good ones always go.

So, where to?

—

Notes:

And how do I, a trans woman one year on HRT, have more balls than 90% of men? Wait, was “sissies” projecting this whole time? We might never know…

[manyothermusingsofmine]

Concert Awakening || Drabble

Fandom: Ace Attorney

Warnings: None

Wordcount: 2736

Translations: Liebling - Darling Jag älskar dig - I love you Ich liebe dich auch - I love you too. Summary: Resident demisexual finds out that physical attraction is a real thing, actually. A thing she's not immune to. --------------------------------------------------

Up until today, she had never actually attended any of his concerts. Mary usually supported Klavier’s music by simply getting the albums or having some random merch that was strewn about her personal space, but when it came to the concerts she usually didn’t have time to go.

However for this concert Klavier had actually gotten her a ticket himself, while mumbling something about how he had fucked that up in the past with someone else, and Mary had decided to not ask further questions about it and just enjoy a night out. She had asked Simon and Nevada if they were interested in coming along, but they had no such interest.

Which Mary was honestly fine with; it wouldn’t be the first time she attended a rock concert by herself. Plus, it was fun to doll up for an evening like this; the darker make up, skull print t-shirt and ripped jeans being a much deeper and accurate reflection of her soul than what she wore for her job

Evening fell soon, and before she knew it she was in the concert hall, waiting for the show to start. Klavier had even been mindful enough to give her a seated place in the first ring, as close to the stage as possible, because there was no way she would ever survive the chaos that was the standing places dead in front of the stage; if only because she didn’t like the feeling of being crowded nor did she like standing long periods of time without occasionally sitting down.

As soon as the show started, it became obvious to her that Klavier enjoyed this part of his life just as much as his job as a prosecutor; the mood and good vibes immediately set for an absolute wild evening of rock music by even the opening song. At some point during the first five songs or so, Mary found her gaze particularly drawn to Klavier, while she just had been having a good time enjoying the show until then.

She had never really seen him like this before, had she? While he definitely brought a rock flair to the court room, on the stage he had free reign to look however the hell he wanted. His blonde hair was set free from the usual twist he wore it in, following his every move now that it had the freedom to do so. The tank top he wore was low cut, showing off a lot of his torso, and had the pointed G on it- that was honestly the least surprising thing about it. Leather jeans, sultry and smokey eyeshadow and burgundy lipstick completed the look, and were those fishnet arm sleeves?

Her thoughts somehow managed to drown out the music as all of these things were pointed out to her until one thought louder than the others emerged right at the forefront.

Oh my god. He’s hot.

Everything in her mind palace came to a screeching halt. It almost felt like one of her braincells had uttered something so ridiculous, that all the others could do was stop what they were doing and stare blankly in the direction of the one who had screamed that at the top of their lungs. And the response of this braincell after they had single handedly silenced the entire crowd?

Did I fucking stutter? He’s hot!

Mary had never in her life felt her core temperature rise so rapidly, the burning sensation going straight to her head and turning her pale skin a bright lobster red. And as soon as she felt that she was glad that she was there alone, actually; her friends would never let her live this one down.

She slinked off, quickly slipping away from her chair and up the stairs to get outside to the hallways for a bit, aggressively fanning herself with her hands in hopes to cool herself down while her heart was going at a mad rapid pace in her chest.

Wait. Someone was addressing her. By surname. Mary snapped out of it for a moment, not sure where this crewmate had even appeared from.

“Are you alright, miss Light?”

She vaguely remembered having seen him before; and honestly he looked like he belonged among the crew of a rock show set up. She didn’t even understand how he was wearing a leather jacket when it felt like her entire body was about to burst into flames. He had half long, fluffy dark brown hair, pushed away in some direction that it showed off the multitude of piercings in one of his ears, and his dark brown eyes kept eyeing her up to try and see if she was legitimately in some sort of distress that he needed to alert the medical staff about

“… are you okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah! I- Uh-“ she replied, a little too quickly and too sharply for her own liking, and she hated how her voice seemed to give up on her even on those four words. She kept fanning herself with her hand.

“Uh- It’s just, it’s, warm? Warm. In there, you know, uhm..?”

“… Lance,” he replied in a deadpan tone, looking at the direction she had gestured in only to realise it had been the room where the concert was held. He walked off for a moment, only to return with a water bottle.

“Here, that should help.”

“… Thanks.”

She sat down, twisting the cap of the bottle and forcing herself to take small sips despite wanting to down the entire bottle in five seconds flat. He stuck around for a bit to make sure that she was alright and not in need of more medical care than this. When her breathing slowed down and the red hue of her face seemed to burn less intensely, he decided to not outstay his welcome.

However, after Lance made his way halfway down the corridor, he remembered something, and turned back around to her.

“Oh, by the way, miss Light; after the show’s over you’ve been invited to the backstage dress room. Orders from pretty boy on stage in there,” he said with a slight smirk, that didn’t seem to fade when this news made the water go down the wrong end of her throat and send her straight into a coughing fit.

“Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

Oh, god. He wanted to see her after the show. Of course he wanted to see her after the show; they were dating. And yet, the thought of facing him while he looked like that made her stomach twist in a weird way.

… If this was the butterflies-in-stomach thing people always talked about having, then it wasn’t as fun as people made that out to be.

She somehow made it through the rest of the concert, albeit through such a blur that she probably wouldn’t be able to recall anything about it to inquiring minds. And now, with the rest of the concert goers leaving the venue and the peace returning, she found herself wandering the hallways and occasionally greeting some crewmembers that she came across.

“Come in.”

After he had responded that to her knocking on the dressing room door, she nervously opened the door and tried to pull herself together while mentally yelling at herself to get a damn grip.

Klavier was busy readjusting his chain necklace when she came in and found a comfortable looking chair to sit down into.

"So, did you enjoy the show?"

He finally managed to get his necklace to lay the way he wanted it to; and then realised that in that time he hadn’t actually gotten a reply from her. He turned around to face her dragging his hand through his hair and lightly raising an eyebrow when he saw her vacant stare into nothing. He pushed his arms back a little, placing the palms of his hands on the table behind him and leaning his weight on them in a rather casual pose.

"Mary?"

She jolted, snapping out of whatever her mind had been on. Maybe it was just the light in the dressing room, but he could swear there was a slight hint of red to her cheeks.

"Huh?"

"I asked if you enjoyed the show?"

He really had to keep in a laugh as he saw that question completely bounce off her again, unsure what she was focusing on, but whatever it was it was making it so that his words weren't coming through. It seemed like she didn't know what she was focusing on either, until her gaze turned to the side and- yeah, that was absolutely a red blush painting itself further onto her cheeks.

"Are you alright, babe?" Klavier just asked, unable to keep a slight smile off his face. This was so incredibly endearing to him.

"…. Is it hot in here or is it just you- Me! I mean me, I mean, you are- I- Augh, fuck!"

Klavier just looked at her, blinking in amused surprise as the expletive seemed to come from the depths of her soul, the blush on her cheeks rapidly overtaking other parts of her pale skin and turning about as bright as the red dye in her hair.

He thought for just a moment, looking down at the stage outfit he hadn't bothered to change out of yet… and then what she had said actually registered in his own mind, the implication of it finally clicking into place.

"Oh."

He really couldn't stop the smirk that crept up on his face, though something in the back of his mind reminded him about the meaning of the sexuality flag on her necklace and then whispered at him to be gentle about this situation. He tilted his head, watching as she was trying to hide the burning red color of her skin by hiding her face in the palms of her hands.

"…. You think I'm hot?"

"Hnnngshutup," came the muffled reply, “don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not making fun of you, sweetheart, I promise.”

A deep sigh left her, and Klavier just quietly watched as she dropped her hands from her face. Mary reached to the pendant around her neck, flipping it towards herself even though that meant the colors were upside down.

“… so, now what?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do we have to-“

“Hey, no.”

His voice was gentle and firm as he shifted his weight away from the mirrors and long tables with seemingly millions of drawers, walking over to her as he took one of the fold up chairs along with him so he could sit down in front of her and be on the same physical level as her.

“Let me put that line down right here and now; You don’t have to do anything; least of all anything you don’t want to do, okay?”

She looked up at him, a sense of gratitude shimmering in her eyes, before she looked back down at the pendant and felt the blush on her cheeks still burn at a similar intensity. Klavier got up just enough to twist his chair the other way around, placing his arms on the back support and watching her for another moment.

“Talk to me, sweetheart,” he eventually said, “I can’t help you if you don’t let me know what’s going on in your mind.”

Mary let out another sigh, quietly moving the pendant in a see saw motion between her fingers, thinking about how to put what she felt the need to say. He was right; he couldn’t help her if she didn’t let him know what she was thinking about. And for as far as she was concerned.. she did need his help; and she needed him to know where she was coming from. But that didn’t make the process of opening up about it any less scary. “I’ve…” she started, biting her lower lip for a second, momentarily second guessing if she even wanted to be vulnerable in this kind of way. She looked up at him again, before turning her gaze back down to the pendant.

“I’ve never… ever… felt anything like this before,” she then admitted, holding the pendant still, “I’ve… even wondered if this.. if this was even me, you know? Like, what if I got it wrong, what if I was just straight up asexual instead of demisexual? How would I know, I’ve never… not even back when we…”

“It’s okay.”

He kept his voice soft and reassuring, scooting a bit closer with his chair so he could reach out and place a gentle hand on her knee to try and comfort her. He could only imagine that suddenly feeling a whole slew of emotions that hadn’t been there before would shake her up like this; it meant that to her those were pretty much unchartered waters she suddenly found herself in.

A calm, surprisingly pleasant silence lingered between them, as green eyes met blue ones in a quiet plea for reassurance. Klavier thought for a moment, and decided the best course of action was to give her advice at least similar to what he had wanted to hear back when he first started to put the pieces of his own identity together.

“Listen; this doesn’t change anything about who you are. Your label is up to you to decide, because you decide which one fits you comfortably. As for us… “

He took her hand into his own, lifting it up to press a soft kiss to the back of it.

“The only difference between us is pretty much an experience gap; so, we’ll do this at your pace, okay? And only when and if you want to.”

“What about- You have limits too, you know. I don’t want to be crossing your boundaries just because I don’t know where those lie.”

He gave a soft, sweet huff, honestly touched by the way she was always looking out for him.

“Don’t worry about me; I’m the one going into this with at least somewhat of a clue as to what I’m doing. More importantly is that we’ll figure this out together, when, and only if you’re ready. Okay?”

She nodded slightly, giving a quiet okay from her end as he moved his chair to sit besides her, leaning back a little. Another silence fell between them as he folded his hands behind his head, feeling that she was looking at him from the very edge of her peripheral view.

“…. I can wear this more often, if you want.”

“Yeah, just kill me while you’re at it, why don’t you,” she remarked dryly, the blush still not having drained from her face and turning back up in intensity.

“You know when I said I want at least one person to question something about their sexuality at each of my shows; the local demisexual wasn’t exactly who I had in mind,” he said in a lighter tone, laughing as she lightly elbowed him in his side.

“Oh my god, shut up,” she huffed, though a slight hint of laughter was tinting the sound of her voice.

Mary got up, lightly stretching and hearing some air pocket in a joint pop, before she felt two arms wrap around her waist as Klavier rested his chin on her shoulder; the sudden but comfortable warmth of his embrace making her heart skip a beat.

“So what do you want to do, right now?” he asked softly.

“….. I want you to kiss me, but I feel like that burgundy color of yours would end up everywhere.”

“Ach, Liebling, if this liquid lipstick can survive an entire rock concert; it can survive you.”

Mary raised an eyebrow, a slight smirk on her face as that almost felt like a challenge he was daring her to accomplish. She turned around in his embrace, placing a hand on his cheek now that he was no longer leaning on her shoulder, and pretty much immediately claiming his lips in a kiss. And for what it was worth; Klavier could tell there was a heat and desire to it that he hadn’t felt from her before. He wasn’t sure who was actually left more breathless after they broke apart; her, or him.

“Jag älskar dig,” she whispered to him, wrapping her arms around him and lightly pressing her head to his chest.

“Ich liebe dich auch.”

[lunar-lair]

busts down the door fuck it. off the cuff gender/sexualities headcanons for the rise boys/whoever else i decide. i havent fully considered these/written these out so it might be a hot mess have fun (its also 1 am this is your warning)

see leos a little Special. surprise trans leo is my fav thing ever so what I like to do is ambs (assigned male by splinter, he didnt know the cloacas were in different areas or to start squinting when leos shell got more concave. no i did not know those facts before surprise trans madness/my egg doc i made a whole cloth new however the fuck you say it reproductive system for this fucking turtle so he and his bunny boyfriend could have kids and i could torture him with sliders being oviparous. thank you less-depresso-more-expresso for your leo egg post in december it changed me fundamentally) -> oh . those are eggs. ok *whistling sound as he continues w his life* -> wait gender is a construct. maybe this is a gift -> genderfluidity slaps the kid in the face when theyre abt 17. also hes gay cause it feels right. so does some form of demisexual or romantic but i have a lot of opinions on how his dating life would go and how it would impact his character (rhinocio gets it if u know them. were besties u see) so i think that woudnt hit until more like 18 or smth like that maybe idk

in much more basic terms. genderfluid gay leo ftw we love a trans leo in this house. this goes whether or not you believe in Egg this kid is not cis mark my goddamn words

raph has always screamed she/he to me as she has to most people. im feeling bi. double bi also feels both very right and very funny his siblings would have a ball w that

if mikey doesnt use neopronouns whats the point. gender is a game and mikey is winning. sexuality is also a game and mikey is Still winning. goes w pan but literally would nebulously date anyone as long as they seemed cool and he liked them well enough. they and leo are shaking hands except leo is hoarding like she, he, they, and maybe a couple other neopronouns meanwhile mikey is like im everything all at once fight me abt it. so nonbinary in the everything kind of way. maybe. i have no idea what the name for this is but i know exactly the kind of vibe im talking abt

and ofc donnie is in the absolute opposite direction. he/they, more nonbinary than anything else. rise apritello star lastknownstatus-alive has allured me with aroflux donnie and considering i know like two things abt the aro and ace label existence im absolutely listening. definitely think hes on that spectrum though, it just fits. think hed look at the sexuality thing and go ...none of these are right. and then forgo it entirely. their sexuality is whoever is hot and whoever they fall in love with die abt it

this is where i say that trans man draxum means everything to me and also that man simply isnt straight nor is he allistic (i mean allo as in like hes definitely on the ace/aro spectrum and i didnt realize until rereading a while later but he is also not allistic tbf)

also splinter is bi i rest my case. pretty normal gender on that rat though, even with the gnc everything

april is so . that gender is so everything. hoarding genders like mikey but less so and also less aggressively. less everything all at once and more somethings sometimes and sometimes not other things. shes a solid inbetween of mikey and leo. my brain clocked bi but i honestly dont know why. help i dont know that many names and also i havent been in love in 4 years idk how the sexuality half of this works

also as a disclaimer we as a system (not in our bio bc Fear) identify as genderfluid (not that i know what the flag looks like . look i keep forgetting to look it up ok) but thats because its easier. a lot of us are sort of genderfluid or use multiple pronouns but remembering those gender experiences is HARD . accordingly any discussion of gender and the experience might be totally fucked bc were only so many genders bc there are so many people in this brain. ok im getting off the stepladder w my megaphone where i make separate points now onto casey

my baby my little guy. think the fam wouldve given him the opportunity to explore that stuff as much as he could in the apocalypse. im feeling he/it. thinks gender is a construct. too busy to find a label. would probably like bigender or genderfluid. kind of like mikey, technically works w pan but would date literally whoever whenever wherever as long as there was a preexisting relationship. dont tell him but hes probably demiromantic

and casey sr!!! my girl my lady! i could go either cis or transgirl on her, or even she/they or she/they/he, she does whatever she wants any day of the week. absolutely a lesbian though thats undisputed. also feeling demiro And demiace

this is your last warning that i sussed half of these out based on vibes Right Now. except for leo theyre on my mind 24/7. and mikey mikey felt patently obvious. same for donnie but only gender wise

ok im done now prommy. may or may not fuck around and make a background + oh yeah! thats me!! style fic for these guys if i feel like it. probably wont come out during pride but hey. you dont stop being gay when june ends yk. either way tada ill come back if i decide i was talking bullshit and correct myself later. bc i usually decide i was talking bullshit eventually lmao. probably partially cause im like 18 its a natural side effect of growth occuring at a faster rate due to my younger age. anyways this has been your twice annually actually long and headcanons/fun filled luna post. ill see you in like, october probably, unless i get ballsy, see you then either way lmao

[jesuschristt-thatsaprettyface]

Ok ok sorry about this but I just got a flash of a scene with you in mind..

After a long gym session, working up a full body sweat and taking time to hit the showers, you're approached and flirted with by an attractive person. Talks continue as you both hit the unisex locker room, and you can't help but notice they keep mentioning kinks, but you brush it off.

At the lockers you take a moment and your eyes off your new friend, and you feel their arms slip under yours. "Hey what the fu"

Cut off short as they wrench your head to theirs in a deep kiss you're not entirely fighting off but clearly shocked by. A warm tongue slips in and you stop fighting a bit not noticing a hand sliding down your body to your pussy.

"Hold on a secon"

"I can't wait, I need you now"

You're turned to face your new friend and pinned against the locker, feeling their bulge growing against your still warm and wet thigh, their chest ample and heaving against yours as the kiss intensifies.

"mnnf uhnn h-hold on..tTHATs...oh gah" you manage incoherently as you feel their heated throbbing head, rubbing against your clit as it slides down and between your lips. They lift one of your legs up to steady themselves against you to angle up. And with a hard thrust and you're filled by thick girlcock as your moans are caught in their kiss. You cling to them breaking the kiss to leave bite marks and taste their sweet neck leaving dark red marks. They fuck you in this positions, chests pushed against each other, mouths greedily kissing hands pulling scratching digging nails to get deeper contact.

This pushes them to take you and bend you over the nearby bench, and as they take your arms behind you and plunge deep inside you you see it and them. First the tripod, then the growing crowd of bare legs.

You try and say something in protest but one second later your mouth is gagged and the girlcock goes deep and still inside you.

You feel the weight of their body as they lean in close and whisper in your ear "Just look at you, such a pathetic little girl. We'll make sure your friends get copies of every tape we make tonight."

You look up and notice the crowd mixed with men and women alike. all ready to have their way with you..

this type of scene would be better with someone else in mind cause i have a few issues with it lol. aside from the fact that i’m demisexual (and i don’t go to the gym) i don’t like being referred to as a girl and i’m not attracted to men Like That.

appreciate the exhibitionist girlcock thought tho

[the-stray-storyteller]

This is purely a rage rant about how my community is completely ignorant towards LGBTQIA+. Let me explain one thing. In my school LGBTQ = gay. Nothing else. They know about other sexualities and gender queer people but they don't acknowledge them at all. The rest of the spectrum might as well be completely invisible to their eyes. Most of them aren't homophobic (unlike most of the grandparents and parents over here) but they don't respect us. Just yesterday I was talking to a couple of people in my computer class. I mentioned aroaces. They all looked confused. They have never heard the terms aromantic, asexual or aroace. I wasn't exactly surprised so I explained it to them. When I told them what aroace is. Guess what they said. Guess what they said. "They don't exist." "They can't be human." "How is that even fucking possible." And they laughed. They fricking laughed like it was a joke. Another example of people in my community being ignorant about LGBTQIA+ community is me coming out as a bisexual to two of my old friends about a month ago. This again goes back to the aromantics and asexuals. "I don't really have any proper crushes or find anyone attractive that easily. Might be asexual or..." I stopped myself from saying demisexual because they won't know what it means. "Wait..I thought you said that you were bi." I was confused at that comment for a while, then the other friend tried to explain nicely. "Patience, she is in a confused state right now. Give her time to figure out her sexuality. She can tell us if she is bi or asexual when she figures it out." I finally understood that these two thought a person can't be asexual and bi/gay/straight/etc at the same time. "I can be bi and asexual at the same time." "That is not possible. You can't be both stupid." I wanted to scream at her at that exact moment. Was she LGBTQ? Did she spend any time on the internet researching about LGBTQ? She was fricking assuming something about a community she barely knew about. On top of that she was indirectly saying that she knew more about it than a bisexual who spends a good time of her day going through LGBTQ+ articles on the internet. I asked them to search google and when they found out I was correct they were so damn confused. At that moment I couldn't find the words to explain it. But now I do.The aro/ace spectrum defines how often a person feels romantic/sexual attraction while bi/straight/pan/gay/etc defines which genders they are attracted to. They both defined two different things. As for gender queer people. They have it worse in our community. They almost do not exist in the minds of the people over here. What is their idea of gender queer people? The answer:

Transgenders are the beggar women on the street who talk with male voices.

If I go on about this I will not stop so to cut short it. So to sum it up. Our community is incredibly ignorant and at times disrespectful towards the LGBTQIA+ community.

[pheonixxfoxx]

Real Life And Stuff

*warning talks of mental abuse* I had sincerely hoped to post a collection update for the past several days, but personal life has been, well…

Let's just say, I desperately need to vent about somethings. That is what my entry is going to be about. It won't bother me if you skip over this, as there will be some considerable length. It is possible someone else is encountering a similar experience, and these words will aid them?

In my introductions, I mention 17 years of mental abuse by an ex. While the relationship has been broken off with "R" (as I shall dub him), we still live together. The man currently has dementia; this has made his grumpy dinosaur side even worse. Yesterday, he verbally mistreated me by falsely saying I'm a "sleazy slut" and bluntly informed me about my "slut mouth." Fun times! On Thursday, his verbal abuse got so severe, that it almost drove me to ending it all. An online friend talked me down while I tenderly held and cried all over my Buggy plush, he was drenched.

Still living with this horrid man has inevitably become an absolute nightmare. "R" desperately keeps trying to get in my pants, no thank you! I am demisexual, that emotional connection once formed with "R" has been lost for years! I've just kept going through the motions, as a foolish creature of habit, familiarity and routine. Sex, something I traditionally view as a sacred act, became merely nothing but a chore with him. Trying frequently to discover desperate ways out of having to sleep with him; this would bring forth his terrible wrath! He would subsequently threaten to kick me out into the streets. Why stay with him so long? As to why I stayed so long, because a piece of myself was willingly given to this disappointment of a man. My unfortunate lack of friends doesn't help, as I'm an odd duck. *quack* *quack* Then there is the fact, that it's awkward finding a "mate" and didn't want to experience this precious life alone. Probably, because I am just plain stupid too. I won't lie, there have been good times with the man. We have been on many grand adventures, from a cruise to Disney World!

In notable addition, my mental illness makes change in routine hard. Changes really throw me off, and "R" naturally became, well…routine! Breaking up with him was surreal and has undoubtedly taken some time to adjust to. Nevertheless, it is legitimately SO liberating!!! Why continue living with "R," why not get out now? I have no support system here, when it comes to local friends and family. Truthfully, it is all long distance. If the internet didn't exist, I would typically have no friends! I'm on SSDI disability; I can only afford low income housing. Currently the section 8 waiting list is closed for my state. If and when I get on the list, it is a 2 to 3 year wait…This area has severely limited resources too. The odd fact that I can't drive doesn't help matters either. I've never been capable, due to over thinking and panicking behind the wheel.

Despite how "R" has treated me, he is a human being. I don't want to completely abandon him. His family will merely toss him away into a facility, like yesterday's trash. Right now, he is too high functioning for that. However, his family doesn't want to step in and help either. Indeed, they are all aware what is happening to him. Hell, his Step-mother wouldn't even help me get a couple of hours to do something profoundly meaningful. Which is the One Piece concert happening in Las Vegas this Saturday. *cries* To actually hear "The Drums of Liberation" in person, would bring tears to my delighted eyes.

"R's" cousin humbly admitted to me a few months ago, that she knows how abusive "R" can be in a relationship. How I have a kind heart for staying, this kind heart has inevitably had enough! His Step-mother sent me a text last week apologizing that I've had to deal with this. Fuck, then why not help with this situation foolish idiotic woman?! Instead of declaring bluntly to me, "We have a life too you know!" I possess a god damn life too!! Which 17 years of it have been wasted with "R"…but I dearly want to live again!

If it wasn't for my genuine love and fond attachment to Buggy the Star Clown, I would have completely crumbled. Hell, that almost did happen twice recently. I know Luffy is ordinarily the one who liberates. For me, it is Buggy who is gallantly helping to unlock the gates of glorious freedom from my own personal Impel Down! I plan to carefully design a tattoo centered around him and the freedom he has and will give me.