#want the best for them. again. I can admit they didn’t have the perfect season and had games where they weren’t the best but again look at

[blkwag]

kinda over leeds fans blaming americans and pointing fingers at them for how the season went when in general the team sucked (and the board is also a part of how the season went too).

did they all (brenden, tyler, weston, and even jesse) have the best games all the time? absolutely not. and i can admit that. but on the other hand in the games where they weren’t poor they made an effort and tried to make something happen for the team. like look at all the other players around them and yet they are the main ones getting the heat for fighting relegation the entire season and currently being in 18th place. it’s so annoying

[elly-grace]

The love of my life

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader

Warning: idiots in love

Word count: 1234

Disclaimer: just pretend that’s how the championship game went idk how it actually went lol.

LSU 2020

The Tiger stadium had never been so packed before. The atmosphere was the best it’s ever been. You could tell the players were definitely feeding off the vibes of the stadium.

“Burrow steps back looking for an open man down field. And he found his man Chase. He’s at the 40, 30, 20, 10. TOUCHDOWN TIGERS!”

The roar of the crowd is deafening. This was it, all that stood between them and the championship was 2 minutes.

Two minutes of amazing game play, two final minutes of being in a LSU tiger jersey for some. Two minutes of watching your best friends play on the field together for the last time.

Tears stream down your face knowing that your best friend led the team to an undefeated season. There was no doubt in your mind, he’s going to the NFL.

You're pulled out of your thoughts by your other best friend Myla elbowing you. As you come to your senses you feel someone stare at you. On the sidelines not paying any attention to the game was Joe Burrow. He looked at you concerned.

You motioned to him to turn around and pay attention to the game with a stern look on your face. He didn’t listen, he kept looking at you.

“How can two people be so oblivious?” Myla said in a sing-song voice.

You rolled my eyes at her and started walking to the fence of the bleachers where Joe could see you.

“Hey Burrow, pay attention to the game. You can’t ruin your perfect record. What if you need to go back out there?”

“You're crying?”

“I’ll tell you later. Now pay attention to the game.” You said then started walking back to your seat. By the time you made it back there were only 30 seconds on the clock.

The Tigers won the game. You were so happy and proud of your friends. But you were also sad Justin and Joe are going to the NFL draft. Tears start to stream down your face again.

“You seriously need to stop crying.”

You have Myla a dirty look.

“So you're not at all sad that Justin just played his last game with Joe and Marr? You’re going to have one sad boyfriend for a little bit.”

“Keep saying that’s why you're crying, I don't believe you.”

You just ignore her and run down to the tunnels to meet the boys. When you hear a voice call out to you

“Y/n wait up.” You turned around next to the tunnel to see Josh, a boy from your history class.

“Hey Josh, how are you?”

“Good, so I was wondering if maybe you want-“

He was cut off as you felt strong arms wrap around you.

“No she wouldn’t. Bye now.”

“Joseph, what if I wanted to go on a date with him?”

He scoffed, he was shocked by what you just said. You have never been one to accept date offers from men. He’d never admit it but he liked that, because that meant he still had a chance.

“Now tell me why you were crying.”

You couldn’t believe that this man just cockblocked you and is now making demands. You just scoffed, seeing Ja’marr walk out you ignored Joe and ran to Marr.

“CONGRATS MARR!” You gave him a hug. And he picked you up and spun you around.

Joe's heart broke a little at the sight. Justin saw the exchange between You and Ja’marr and walked over to Joe.

“You need to tell her.”

Joe looked up at Justin in shock.

“Tell her what?”

“Man we’re not oblivious, you’ve clearly got feelings for her. Tell her before someone beats you to it.” He said and Joe sighed he knew Justin was right but he didn’t know how to convey his feelings for you.

LSU February 2020

History lecture couldn’t go any slower. The lecture hall was small and stuffy, it was meant to fit 20 students tops. But this lecture was with 42 students. Sure, cram this lecture in the smallest lecture hall.

At least Myla and Ja’marr were in this class. The three of you are paying partial attention to the professor. You loved history and obviously were the one paying the most attention out of the three. Jotting down notes occasionally that undoubtedly Myla and Ja’marr were going to copy.

When the hour and a half was up you gathered your stuff and left. You didn’t hear the voices calling after you. Finally a hand reaching your shoulder startled you.

“Hey Y/n how was lecture?”

You turned around to see Joe, you’ve been avoiding him since he cockblcoked you. You rolled your eyes and started walking away again.

“Y/n I’m sorry. How many times do I need to say it till you forgive me?”

“Please leave me alone Joe.”

“Y/n please you’re my best friend.”

“Maybe I’m tired of being your friend.”

“You. You don’t mean that.”

“I- I can’t be your friend Joe.”

“Y/n stop. Tell me what’s wrong”

“I have to go.”

You walked away as tears started to stream down your face.

“I THINK I LOVE YOU Y/N.”

You froze, too shocked to move. Finally you pinch yourself to make sure you weren’t dreaming. You’ve wanted to hear those words out of his mouth since last year. When you met it was love at first sight. You finally turn around and see tears on his face as well.

“I-I, have feelings for you Joe.”

“Then please stay even if we’re just friends. If we date and things don’t work out. I can't lose you.”

“Why would you date me?”

“Because as I stated I think I have feelings for you. Hell, I think I love you. Please let me take you on a date. One date is all I ask.”

“One date if things don’t go well l then friends.”

“Deal”

A smile appears on both of your faces.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you that for a while”

You stared at him dumbfounded.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was afraid you didn’t feel the same. But seeing you almost walk out my life I knew I needed to tell you. You deserved to know at least.”

“Joe, how could you have thought I didn’t feel the same? I’ve been falling for you since Marr introduced you to me.”

You both laugh realizing you could have been together since last year.

“Let’s get out of here. Also you owe me an answer still.”

He grabbed your hand as he dragged you out of the building.

“Of course you’d remember.”

“The girl I'm pretty sure I'm in love with was crying, of course I remember.”

“I was crying cause that was the last time I’ll ever see you in a tigers uniform. The last time you and Marr will play together. The last time you and Justin will play together.” You paused. “The last time I might ever get to see you do what you love. At least in person because you're going to the nfl.”

“Y/n I’m not leaving you! I’m going to call you every night from wherever I’m drafted to. You’ll be at some of my games I know, I’ll even save the tickets for you Ja’marr and Myla.”

“Okay I am totally in love with you.”

Joe leans in.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes”

[bethagain]

I wanna talk about Ed’s apology to Izzy.

I’ve seen some consternation about it, but I thought that scene was absolute perfection. 

I love how Izzy’s opening lines show us his state of mind. He wants to be on speaking terms with Ed again, but he doesn't especially want to admit it.

He didn’t mistake Ed for Roach. That’s not even remotely believable. And although we’re clearly meant to think Izzy’s a bit drunk, if you look at the rate he’s been drinking he’s probably got a huge tolerance for alcohol. Otherwise he wouldn’t be upright. 

The script could have given Izzy some other way to insist he wasn’t trying to talk to Ed. “I didn’t see you there.” “I’m looking for sharks.” What he did say is even better, because it’s got an insult built in: “I thought you were someone I actually wanted to see.”

And Ed, who should be mortified, who should be on his knees begging forgiveness, slips right into talking to Izzy like they’re friends again. “Something’s wrong. Feels like a storm’s coming but I can’t see it.” 

It’s something you’d say to someone you’re comfortable with, someone you trust to weigh in. I think some fans wanted to see Ed open with an apology, but Blackbeard doesn’t apologize for things and Ed’s still figuring out how. Instead, the script gives us Ed avoiding the subject: If they don’t talk about it, maybe what he did can be swept under the rug. 

And Izzy’s going to let him do it. He tells Ed he thinks he’s being stupid about the storm, sure. A good first mate calls his captain on his bullshit. But he also passes over the bottle, and Ed takes it. Two comrades drinking together, drinking because life as a pirate is hard, drinking that much because they are tough men. They don’t have to talk, talking isn’t what they do. 

We’ve seen in both seasons that Izzy is used to taking Ed’s abuse. It’s been baked into the story. We’ve been told about Ed the brilliant pirate leader and Izzy the loyal first mate but what we’ve seen is twisted: Ed still brilliant but unstable, Izzy keeping him in line. Izzy trying to break away and failing, Ed taking him back every time. They are best friends and they are terrible for each other, and that is their frame.

But then! Taika and Con are both so good with the facial expressions. We can see the discomfort flickering across Ed’s face. Everything about this interaction has been set up so he could get away without apologizing. And I think that’s how the hurried “Sorry about your leg” hits as hard as it does for me, leaves me feeling something here has changed.  

And the scene confirms it: Even that small phrase is so huge that Ed’s got to run away as soon as he says it. 

And then, look at that tiny smile on Izzy’s face. That “fuck off” is almost happy. As the audience we know that wasn’t the apology Izzy deserved, not by a long shot. But in the frame of the story? It might be enough to set the two of them right again. 

[kueble]

I Just Need You By My Side, Cause I'm Warmer in the Winter With You

Another very self-indulgent Christmas fic.

Teen. Warnings: Mentions of torture. 5,600 words.

Ghost/Soap

---

“Shouldn’t you be packing up?” Ghost asks him from where he leans against his doorway. Soap shrugs and sets down the pencil in his hand. He’s been sketching for about an hour now, trying to wind down at the end of a hectic day. Everyone on base is giddy at the thought of going home for the holidays, and the energy is almost overwhelming..

“Sorry, but you’ll have to get used to my ugly mug around here. I know you’re one of the only ones here most Christmases, but I don’t have anywhere else to be this year,” he explains, hoping years of interrogation techniques pay off and Ghost doesn’t call him on the lie. Though it’s partially true, since there’s nowhere he’d rather be then in the barracks with him.

“Don’t you usually have a big family celebration? Remember you rambling about nieces and nephews and being forced into midnight mass by your mother,” Ghost asks, eyes narrowing behind the black balaclava he’s chosen to wear today.

“Glad to know you actually listen to me when I shoot my mouth off,” he laughs out.

“Never miss a word, Johnny,” Ghost tells him evenly.

“So any other year, yeah I'd be home, but things are out of sorts this year with my sisters traveling to their husband’s families, and me Ma and Pa planned a little trip of their own,” he says. Sure, the little trip was right down the road to his brother’s house where everyone would be gathered like every other year, but no need for Ghost to know that.

Last year it was excruciating to leave Ghost on the tarmac, saying goodbyes as everyone else went home to their families. He doesn’t know much, but it’s clear Ghost no longer has anyone waiting for him back at home. They’d all joked about him haunting the base, probably maskless with the skeleton crew left behind and any other puns they could come up with. Still, there was a bleakness in Ghost’s eyes that he never wanted to see again.

Thankfully he’s never been able to hide his feelings from his parents, especially his mother, and she didn’t even bat an eye when he told her his plans. She’d said something cheesy about the magic of the season bringing them closer together, which he’d quickly scoffed off. He wasn’t doing this with any ulterior motives in place. It was a simple fact that his best friend shouldn’t be alone over the long holiday break they were lucky enough to get two years in a row.

If he happens to be completely ass over tits in love with him, he’s smart enough to keep it to himself.

“Guess it could be nice to have some company, even yours,” Ghost teases with a snort. Soap rolls his eyes, but he’s smirking still.

“Do you cook anything for it or rely on the mess hall for Christmas dinner?” he asks, already planning how to make things nicer for him. They may be stuck on a mostly empty base, but there’s no reason why he can’t make it as comfortable as possible.

“Sometimes I make a pot of soup for the week, but nothing special for the day itself. Tend to keep to myself,” he says softly. And that just won’t do.

“Happy to help sample anything you cook, but since I burn water, I’ll order us something nice from town. It shouldn’t be too late for a small catering order. You like lasagna?” he asks, already thinking of the perfect little Italian place near here.

“Wouldn’t say no to it, but there’s no need to get fancy over me,” Ghost mumbles. It only makes Soap more determined to bring a little Christmas magic into his life this year.

“I’ll take care of dinner and you just bring the good company,” he says to settle it. He’ll place an order first thing in the morning, already planning to buy way more food than they need. Ghost deserves to be spoiled, and leftovers are a rare commodity around here.

“Not sure I’ll contribute much in that regard, but yeah, I can show up,” he agrees.

“No one else I’d rather spend the day with. Honestly,” Soap admits, but Ghost just huffs at him.

“Piss off, Johnny,” he says with a laugh. Before he can figure out a response, the man is already gone. It may just be the hardest thing he’s ever done, but he’s damned sure going to make sure Ghost knows how much Soap likes being around him, especially now. Likes, not loves, because he has a feeling that’s something he’ll take to his grave. Being around him will just have to do for now.

—

The poster fell off the wall for the three thousandth time, and Soap barely managed to keep himself in check. Price would have his head if he blew up the base, but it’s getting more and more likely. It’s a stupid thing, really, just a fake Christmas tree by a fireplace, but he bought it to cheer up their rec room. He grumbles under his breath, reciting every swear he knows and probably inventing some new ones along the way.

“Problems, Sergeant?” Ghost asks from his spot on the couch. There’s a hint of laughter on the edges of his voice, and Soap spins around to glare at him.

“There is in fact,” he spits out before taking a couple of deep breaths to calm himself down. No use in pissing off the man he’s trying to decorate for. “These walls are apparently covered in fifty some years of filth, and I can’t get the damn tape to stick. Seriously, it’s like teflon and I’m actually afraid to think about what could be coating this wall right now.”

“This that important to you?” Ghost asks, head tilted like he’s studying him.

“Aye,” Soap sighs out. “Just wanted to brighten up the room a bit. We can’t have a real tree, and I’ve been banned from open flames on base, but I thought this stupid fucking poster might work. Wanna sneak off base and burn it with me? Might raise my spirits.”

“How about I fix it instead,” Ghost says, standing up to stomp over to the wall.

“You’re more than welcome to try, but not even sure duct tape will hold the damn thing at this point,” he says, scowling at the wall. Seriously, he was going to beg Price to get the room deep cleaned as soon as he was back on base. Can’t be safe.

Ghost shrugs before bumping him out of the way with his hip. He holds the poster with one hand and reaches into the back of his jeans with the other. The knife he pulls out is on the small side, but it does the job when he stabs it through the poster and into the wall. Nodding proudly, he slides another knife out of his sleeve and buries it in the other top corner. The final blade is tucked in his boot, and he takes a few steps back before flinging it at the wall.

It lands perfectly in the bottom center of the poster, and Soap chubs up in his sweats at the display of skill.

“Guess that works, too,” he murmurs, actively avoiding Ghost’s gaze. No need to show off how fucking gone on him he is, and he knows there’s hearts in his eyes right now. He’s bound to be suspicious just based on how desperate Soap is to make things perfect, to give him a better Christmas than year past, and he should try better to keep his feelings hidden. Not looking to get his heart broken over the holidays.

“Anything for you, Johnny,” Ghost tells him as he strides back to the couch and picks up his book again. Soap can feel his cheeks heating up and blurts out some half-assed excuse before making a tactful retreat.

—

He debates waiting until morning, but Soap is too curious about the package in his hands to wait that long. His box of gifts from his family arrived today, but he didn’t bother unpacking it until after dinner. Everything was neatly labeled - or scribbled by his nieces and nephews - with his name except for one.

To Ghost, From Ma MacTavish. Open Immediately.

Not one to disobey his mother, Soap raps on Ghost’s door and hopes this isn’t something too embarrassing. Lord knows his entire family is annoying enough already over his little crush, and he doesn’t need his mother stepping in to help him. There’s a rustling from behind the door before it’s swung open by a brooding Ghost. Anyone else might not see how moody he is, but Soap can tell just by studying his eyes.

“What do ya need?” he asks, voice cracking from disuse.

“Got a special delivery for you and instructions for you to open it right away,” Soap informs him, holding up the package like the peace offering that it is. Ghost eyes it suspiciously but steps aside and lets him into the room. While he’d love a chance to look around, Soap keeps his focus on Ghost out of respect for his privacy. He knows just letting him into the room was a big step for the other man.

“Your mum sent this?” Ghost asks as he takes the parcel from him. Soap nods and smiles warmly as Ghost’s eyes widen. “Better not keep her waiting then,” Ghost mutters before sitting on the edge of his bed. The package looks huge, even in his large hands, and Soap really wonders what it could be.

He tears the paper at the seams, carefully working a finger down the edge of it. It’s gentle in a way that hints of Christmases past and perhaps being yelled at to keep the wrapping for next year. Soap’s grandma used to do that and iron out each crease to save money.

When Ghost finally removes the paper, soap breathes a sigh of relief at seeing the present isn’t anything to worry about. Trust his mother to try and take care of someone she’s never met. Ghost holds up the blanket, blinking slowly at it. Soap supposes he isn’t used to getting many gifts, especially not something handmade. The blanket itself is a mix of blank and white granny squares, no doubt crocheted with love by his mother. Everyone in their house has at least one of these piled at the foot of their bed, and his heart warms at the thought of Ghost having one on his.

“She made it?” he asks in a whisper, and Soap wants to cry about it. There’s no reason a gift should put him in such a state of awe, and he vows right then and there to spoil him as much as he’s allowed to under the guise of friendship.

“You’re looking at a Ma MacTavish special right there. Everyone in the family has one, and it looks like she thinks highly of you,” he confirms.

“Never even met me.”

“Well, I suppose I’ve entertained her with a tale of two of the man who saved my life so many times. Besides, how else do you think she’d know the perfect color scheme for an emo bastard like yourself,” He says in an attempt to lighten the mood. The corners of Ghost’s eyes crinkle up, and he knows there’s a smile beneath the mask.

“You’ll have to thank her for me. No, wait! I’ll get a thank you note together for the next time you send mail home. That alright?” he asks almost timidly, which isn’t an emotion Soap’s sure he’s ever shown before.

“She’ll love that. Sorry to barge in on you so late at night, but I’m glad I did. Should probably be heading to bed, though,” Johnny says with a pout. Dreams of being asked to stay, to tuck himself against Ghost under that very blanket flash through his mind and he has to get out of here quickly before he shows his hand.

“Me too. Night, Johnny,” Ghost says, and he understands it for the dismissal that it is. The last thing he sees as he ducks out the door is Ghost spreading the blanket across the top of his bed and smoothing it out. He’ll have to send his mother a thank you note as well.

—

There is absolutely no reason for them to be in Soap’s room instead of the rec room, but he wasn’t about to say no when Ghost suggested it. Currently they are sitting on his bed - which is way too small for two grown ass men - with their backs against the wall and his laptop propped on top of their thighs. Ghost is a constant warm presence at his side, and he’s pretty sure he would be completely lost if he hadn’t seen this movie so many times.

They each have a glass of their preferred poison in hand, and Ghost has his mask tucked up over his nose while he purses his lips at the screen in front of them. He is so fucking stunning with the light from the laptop highlighting the planes of his face, and Soap would be weak in the knees were he standing. Not that Soap is abusing his trust just to watch him more than the movie. Absolutely not. Still, the sight of Simon’s sharp jawline is a rare one and he can’t seem to stop staring. He longs to scrap his teeth over the scar that curves around it and has to hold himself back from scooting even closer to him.

“I don’t get it,” Ghost says, breaking him out of his dangerous thoughts.

“How so?” he asks, eyes already turned back to the screen to see what part of the movie they’ve reached. Nearly done at this point, but the silly plot has been a fun distraction. They don’t often get downtime, time totally free of responsibilities, and he hopes he can go without this once everything is back to normal.

“This just seems so improbable. His family forgot to bring him to the airport and they don’t have a single family friend they can call in the meantime? The police are actively searching for these two assholes and yet a child is the only one who manages to take them down? Gotta admit some of these traps are pretty awesome, though,” Ghost rambles out.

“One, I can’t believe you’ve made it this far in life without watching this. Two, this film is a masterpiece because it makes you suspend reality. Three, I’m pretty sure this is why I ended up in demolitions anyway. Do you know how many things I blew up after seeing this? I thought my Pa was going to murder me just as an example for my brothers and sisters. One time I rigged a frying pan to hit my brother in the face and it broke his fucking nose,” Soap says, unable to hold in his laughter. “Pretty sure he was about to pack me off and make me Nan deal with me, but my Ma couldn’t let her baby go.”

“You’re a real piece of work, Johnny,” Ghost tells him softly. He brings his glass up to his mouth, and Soap watches him swallow slowly, desperately trying to remind himself how they’re friends and nothing more. “Glad it brought you to me, though.”

“Yeah,” he breathes out, heart pounding in his chest.

But then they fall into an easy silence, and he’s forced to turn back to the movie. They both finish their drinks as the plot winds down, and he’s about to offer another when Ghost grabs his wrist to stop him from standing up. He looks down, worried that he’s overstepped somehow, and the tightness in Ghost’s clenched jaw startles him.

“We’ve had a good week, yeah?” Ghost asks quietly.

“Loved every second of it,” Soap blurts out before he can stop himself.

“Might not love this so much,” Ghost says with a sigh. “I’ve…I’ve never been this close with anyone, barely even shared this with Price, but I’d like to give you some sort of explanation for why I keep to myself at Christmas. If you’ll listen, that is.”

“Ghost, I will always be here, no matter what you want to tell me. Thank you for trusting me so much, but are you sure you want to do this while we’re drinking?” he has to ask, needs to be sure his friend won’t regret this come morning.

“You think I just keep bourbon and scotch on hand? That’s kinda the reason why I brought it with me. I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while now, but I needed a little courage to do it. Just, just don’t say anything until I’m done, ok? If you do I might not be able to finish,” he warns him, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Sensing how important this is, Soap sets both their glasses on his bedside table and closes the laptop. His desk lamp is on, so they’re not totally in the dark. He knows rumors of Ghost’s past, has heard a bunch of shit about his time in captivity, but every scrap of information is dear to him. He longs to know the man beside him better than he knows himself. He leans back against the wall and angles his body towards Ghost before saying, “Course. I got you.”

“When I was little, the only person I cared about was my mum. She kept me safe, kept my dad and brother away from me the best she could. I know now that my brother was only doing what he could to avoid my dad’s rage, but it still hurt back then. I won’t lie, I had a real shitty childhood and ran into the service as soon as I could. After that, things started improving. I came back home, kicked my sorry excuse for a father out of the house, and got my brother off of drugs. Hell, I stood beside him as he married the love of his life, and I wouldn’t give that up for anything, but the memories threaten to crush me sometimes.”

He trails off and palms the back of his head, chewing at his lower lip. Soap stays silent, unwilling to break his promise even though Ghost looked on the verge of falling apart. They sit there for a long moment while he regroups and continues his story. Soap longs to reach out, to offer some sort of physical comfort, but he knows better than to act on it. Simon doesn’t enjoy being touched on a good day, and he’d absolutely hate it while letting himself be this vulnerable.

“Things were going well until I got betrayed and snagged by Roba. Fuck, Johnny,” he breaks off, swallowing thickly before pressing his fingers to his mouth. “It was bad. I won’t go into details, but you can only be tortured for so long before you start to doubt yourself, start to go mad instead of trying to fight it. I have no fucking clue how I managed to survive after being left for dead, but I eventually made it back home.”

Ghost shifts his legs, twitching as he picks at the fabric of his sweats. He takes a few deep breaths and stares ahead at the wall, shoulders tense as he continues. “They died on Christmas, and it was all my fault. Roba still had his hooks in me, and couldn't let me go since I escaped with my life. One more betrayal led me back to my mum’s house that only hours before had been full of celebration and Christmas cheer. When I got there, the whole house was up in flames. The fire was so hot, but I had to save them. Only it was too late, because they were lying dead near the doorway. They even put a bullet through the forehead of my nephew. He was so small, so fragile, and I couldn’t even save him.”

He falls quiet, and it seems like he’s finished. Soap knew it was bad, but wasn’t expecting something so tragic. He wasn’t sure what to say, so he just lays a hand on Ghost’s shoulder and squeeze it gently, deciding to risk the touch at this point. It seems to shatter something inside of him and he slumps over to lean on Soap’s shoulder.

“The men involved?” he asks quietly.

“Killed them all. Didn’t bring back my family, though. So yeah, Christmas fucking sucks, but at least I’m not alone this year. Didn’t know it would be easier with you here, but you always manage to help me stay calm. Should have expected it,” he says. His voice is tinged with exhaustion, and Soap knows he’s worn himself out.

“Thank you for trusting me with this. I, it’s, well it’s fucked up that you had to experience that. I know nothing I say can help make it much better, and I’m honestly not sure how you managed to get through it, but I’m grateful you did. I can’t imagine being here without you,” Soap says after a long moment. He knew Ghost has a shitty past, had heard about him digging himself out of his own grave, but this is a whole new level of horrible. If it happened to him, he can’t say he would still be here to talk about it.

“Price helped a lot. Pushed me through it and then kept me around,” Ghost says, turning to stare at the wall. Soap isn’t sure what he can offer at this point, but he has the feeling Ghost might not want to be alone after unloading all of this.

“Stay with me?” he asks, watching as Ghost’s shoulders rise up. He still isn’t looking at him, so he keeps talking. “I mean, you don’t have to, but I can’t imagine wanting to be by myself after such an intense conversation. Would feel bad if I let you go back to your room, really.”

“Contrary to popular belief, I don’t actually sleep with the mask on,” Ghost says with a chuckle. And ok, he can work with that.

“So let me freshen up and get myself ready for bed. You can go after me, and I’ll just sleep on my side. I can keep my eyes shut, give you your privacy,” he suggests. Ghost finally turns to look at him, and there’s a telltale hint of red around his eyes. If Soap was still religious, he’d offer up a prayer that the other man agrees. He clearly needs comforting tonight.

“Yeah, ok,” Ghost mumbles. “Gonna change into my sleep stuff, though. I’ll get ready in my room and be back in a few.”

He practically leaps out of the bed, and Soap hopes he holds true to his word. He goes through his nightly routine on autopilot, not even aware of it until he’s crawling into his bed. He leaves the side of the covers up and turns onto his side to face the wall. It’s only just catching up to him that he invited Ghost into his bed, but tonight isn’t about him. He’d be offering the same closeness to Gaz if he shared something as horrific as Ghost just did.

If anything, this only proves how amazingly strong Ghost is. He had to reinvent himself twice, the second time with no one to support him. They’ve all seen and done some really horrendous things in the name of queen and country, but he can’t fathom coming home to find the burning bodies of his family at his feet.

He’s yanked out of his spiraling thoughts by the sound of the door opening and shutting. The clunk of Ghost setting down his boots seems impossibly loud in the silence, and he holds his breath waiting for Ghost to come to bed. He hears the muffled sound of Ghost removing his mask and setting it on the bedside table and fights the urge to turn around and look at his gorgeous face. He’s here as a friend tonight, and his feelings don’t matter right now.

The bed dips behind him, and the covers shift as Ghost settles in behind him. There’s an awkward few seconds where they both shuffle around trying to figure out how two large men can fit in such a small bed, but then Ghost sighs and rolls onto his side to frame Soap from behind. He slings an arm across Soap’s hips and presses his nose against the nape of Soap’s neck. The last thing he hears as he drifts off is a soft, “Thank you, Johnny.”

—

Unsurprisingly, Ghost is gone when he wakes up. The bed is still warm, though, so he knows he spent the whole night. He wishes he could have woken him up with a Merry Christmas, but understands his need for time to himself. Chris, last night had been a lot. Hopefully he can still provide a little holiday cheer tonight, but even if they eat in silence he’ll have a great time. Every second spent at Ghost’s side is a better gift than anything he could ever fine underneath the tree.

He spends the morning in the gym, working out his frustrations. Life wasn’t fair, but it has been exceedingly rotten towards Ghost. He knows there isn’t anything he can do to change his past, but he’ll damn sure be here for his future. It feels like they crossed a line last night, but he’s not sure which one. Nothing romantic happened, but he feels closer to Ghost than anyone before. He’s willing to bet Ghost hasn’t opened up this much to many people, probably just Price, and he’s ashamed at how giddy that makes him feel.

They might not ever be together, but they’ll always be solid.

After lunch and a long, self-indulgent shower it’s easy to keep himself busy by running through last minute preparations. They hadn’t said anything about exchanging gifts, but Soap kept finding the perfect things for him.He knows Ghost will love the aged bourbon, even though it hurt his Scottish heart to buy it. There’s also a new knife that came highly recommended by their armorer and a deck of cards with holographic skulls on them. Wrapping was never his strong suit, but he managed to slap some paper onto his gifts. Sure, it looked like they were wrapped by a small child, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

He just finishes heating up the catering he picked up the day before and is about to text Ghost to hurry up and join him when his phone goes off. It’s an incoming FaceTime from his mother, and he decides there’s plenty of time to take it before Ghost swings by. He’s been missing his family all day, but they promised to call at some point.

“Ma! Happy Christmas!” he shouts, laughing as his entire family tries to crowd into the camera view.

“You’ll each get a turn, back off,” his mother says, already throwing elbows at his siblings and their kids. His dad stands next to her, silent as always but with a huge smile on his face. He lifts his glass in cheers, and Johnny waves back in response.

“We’re about to eat dinner, but It’s good to see you all. Make sure everyone gets hugs from me, even though I’m not with you this year. And pass out my presents! Make sure the kids know how much Uncle John spoils them. I want photographic evidence!” he says, laughing as one of his nieces tries to jump into the view again. His dad picks her up and wanders off, no doubt about to bribe her into behaving with cookies.

“I hope staying away is worth it,” his mother says, but she doesn’t look mad, just nosy. She’s been on him for months to bring his boy home, no matter how much he tells her they aren’t dating. Ghost is one hundred percent his boy, though, even if he hasn’t realized it yet.

“It’s worth every second away from you all,” he answers honestly, “I’ll be home as soon as we get more downtime, but you know why I have to be here. Thanks for understanding.”

“Anything for my baby,” his mom says, snorting when he scowls at her.

“You ever going to stop calling me that?” he asks, knowing full well she never will. He isn’t mad, not really, just likes to give her grief about it.

“If you didn’t want to be my baby, you’d have been born higher up the chain,” she tells him with a smirk.

“We can argue about it later. Let me get dinner on the table and then we’ll chat again later, yeah? We can pass around the phone so all the kids can show me everything they got,” he suggests, and his mom nods in response.

“Go feed your boy,” she tells him and ends the call before he can quip back at her.

“Not my boy,” he mumbles to the empty room.

But then someone clears their throat from behind him, and his heart sinks into his chest. Fuck. He spins around with a fake smile on his face to find Ghost standing there with his arms crossed.

“I’m assuming you heard all of that?” he asks with a grimace.

“You lied about your family not being together,” Ghost says, though he knows it’s a question.

“Aye, I did. And I don’t feel bad about it. I couldn’t leave you here alone again. Like it or not, I’m here for you,” he says with a sharp nod. He’s already gearing for a fight, ready to be stubborn as hell about it, but what Ghost says next throws him off his game.

“Because I’m your boy,” he asks, and Johnny can hear the fucking smirk in his voice. He has a plain balaclava on today, which is as dressed down as Ghost seems to get.

“Don’t suppose you’d be willing to let that one go? We can forget about it,” he offers quietly. Because who is he to keep dreaming, right? He’s been dropping hints for at least a year now, and Ghost hasn’t taken the bait. He teeter-totters between thinking the man returns his feelings to thinking he barely tolerates him. Regardless, he meant what he said and he’ll be standing by his side as long as Ghost lets him.

“And if I don’t want to forget it? What if I wanted to be your boy? Though I’d prefer man, if we’re being honest here,” Ghost says, and he freezes while his brain catches up.

“You fucking with me?” he asks, just because he needs to know, needs to be sure before he makes a fool of himself. Well, more of a fool than he already has.

“No, but we could fool around later if dinner goes well,” Ghost tells him, laughing as he reaches up and pulls the mask off. He tosses it onto the table, barely missing the salad bowl.

And fuck, he’s a bonnie lad. Soap can’t even speak, just stands there staring at him, eyes trailing over every exposed inch of his face, committing it to memory in case this is the last time he sees it for a while. “You’re stunning,” he whispers in awe. Then he has the pleasure of watching Ghost’s face darken, the apples of his cheeks turning pink and making the freckles dotting them stand out even more.

“Shut up,” he murmurs before stepping closer. “But yeah, I’m all in if you want this too. Want me. I’m sick of wasting time. Maybe next year we can be with your family instead of me keeping you stuck on base.”

“I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life,” he says truthfully. “And I’d rather be stuck here every single year if you prefer it. But you heard my Ma. She wants you home with me.”

“Let’s make sure we make it to next Christmas, then,” he jokes, but there’s a hint of worry in his tone.

“Never letting go of you now,” Soap warns him with a laugh. Ghost chuckles and moves in so close the toes of their boots touch.

“Hard to let go if you haven’t even touched me yet,” he points out. And fuck if his smirk isn’t as lovely as Soap had imagined. It’s crooked, a scar bisecting the left side, but it’s perfect to him.

“Better fix that. Can I kiss you, Ghost?” he asks softly.

“Simon. Call me Simon when we’re alone,” he says breathily, and Soap knows how out of his comfort zone he is right now.

“Simon, can I kiss you? Please?” he asks and Simon just nods at him.

And so he does. He cups Simon’s cheeks, brushing a thumb across the constellation of freckles there, and leans in to press their mouths together. It seems almost anticlimactic after all their flirting, but the feel of Simon’s chapped lips against his is one of the best things he’s ever experienced. He can almost feel the tension leave both their bodies as they melt into each other. He keeps things light, pulls back before thinking better and darting back for another quick kiss.

Kissing Simon isn’t a burst of fireworks, but it’s like coming home which is even more perfect.

“Would now be a good time to tell you I’m really fucking in love with you?” he asks teasingly.

“Only if I can say the same,” Simon says, chuckling as he palms the back of Johnny’s head and drags him into another kiss.

And if they stand there kissing in the middle of the rundown rec room, lost in each other long after their dinner has gone cold, it’s no one's business but their own.

[hischierdevils]

Forget You | N.H.

note: part four of the forget series!

summary: nico finds out who your ex is

warning: slight angst

wc: 1.9K

Breaking your lease is a lot easier than you thought it would be. Your best friend Abby helps you pack up your things as you close a chapter on your life. “I can’t believe we’re not going to be neighbors anymore. What am I going to do without you?” She pouts as she tapes a box shut for you. 

“You’re my best friend, Abby.” You remind her. “You’re still going to see me.” 

“But you’re not right down the hall anymore.” She flops onto your bare mattress. “Who am I supposed to call with boy problems?” 

“You can still call me.” You tell her as you pack the last of your items into a box. “And I thought you and Anthony were good?” Her and Anthony have been on and off again since they met. The same night you met Mat. 

“We are, right now. But lately…” She trails off as she looks at you, deciding if she should tell you something. Before she gets a chance to, Nico walks through the front door slightly out of breath. 

“Please tell me this is the last of it.” He says as he takes his hat off his head to fix his hair underneath. 

“Regret asking me to move in yet, Ni?” You grin as you walk over to hug his sweaty body as he places his hat back on his head. 

“I regret not hiring movers.” He says after placing a kiss on your forehead. “Never you.” 

“Well no one asked me if I approved of this move.” Abby says as she stands up. “You’re taking her all the way to New Jersey! I want custody, Nico.” 

Nico laughs at your best friend. “You are more than welcome anytime.” 

“Um, call ahead and make sure we have clothes on, please.” You interject. 

“Noted.” Abby smiles before pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. “I love you guys so much.” As she pulls away from you, she glares at Nico. “If you hurt her, I'll hurt you.” 

Nico smirks at the small blonde and opens his arms for a hug from her. “I'll never hurt her, I promise.” He winks at you as Abby gives him a quick hug. “She’s my girl.”

You didn’t give your apartment a second glance as you and Nico left it for the final time that day. The memories of you and Mat were now behind you. Nico was your future and you couldn’t wait to make new memories with him. 

It takes the two of you less than a week to fall into a comfortable rhythm with each other. After practically living together all summer, you already knew most of each other’s quirks. On Tuesday nights Abby would come over and have dinner with the two of you. Every other Friday you would go into the city and have a girls night with her. 

Pre-season began and you learned that not everything between you and Nico could be perfect all the time. Your schedules were different now that he was at the rink more and you were eating many meals alone. An argument arose one night when you got home from a long day of editing only to find that the leftovers you were thinking about all day weren’t in the fridge.

“Nico!” You cried out in frustration. 

“Yes?” He joined you in the kitchen quickly with shaving cream still on his face, recognizing the stress in your voice. 

“I had pasta in the fridge.” You cross your arms over your chest. “Where is it?” 

He frowns at you. “I ate it when I got home.” He sheepishly admits. “I was hungry.”

“Well now I'm hungry!” Hot tears of frustration line your eyes and you quickly wipe them away. “What am I supposed to eat? All you have is healthy shit!”

“You live here too, y/n!” He raises his voice slightly, making you flinch. “It’s not just my shit.” 

You roll your eyes, too frustrated to say anything. Nico shakes his head before walking back into the bathroom. Frustration tears continue to fall as you cut up a pomegranate and place it into a bowl, walking over to the couch to eat it. 

Ten minutes later, Nico walks out of your bedroom fully dressed and heads to the door. “I’ll be back.” Is all he says as he reaches for his keys. 

“Wait!” You practically fall off the couch in your effort to get to him. “Please don’t leave!” Nico freezes with his hand on the doorknob as you stand before him and cry. “I’m so sorry. I was just frustrated. I-please don’t leave me.” Your lower lip wobbles and he pulls you flush to his chest. 

“Baby, I was just going to get you food since I ate your dinner.” He explains as he smooths your hair down your back. “I’m going to come back.” 

“I-I thought…” You pause to gather yourself. Mat would leave at the first sign of trouble, always. Sometimes he’d ignore you and not come back for days. He’d claim he didn’t want to argue with you but it made you very wary of showing any sort of emotion around him. “...you were mad at me.” 

“Hey, it’s okay y/n.” Nico places his hand underneath your chin and tilts your head up so he can look at you. “Couples argue, it’s normal. I’m not going to leave just because we raised our voices a little.” 

You nod, too afraid to say anything else. Nico isn’t Mat. You know that. But sometimes it’s hard to override that trauma response. Nico bends his head down to kiss you. “Why don’t you go take a bath and I'll get you dinner?” 

“I don’t deserve you.” You tell him honestly as you pull away from him.

He chases your mouth with his before giving you a quick peck. ““Ich liebe dich.” 

“I love you too.” 

Things are so good between you and Nico that you don’t give a second thought to the fact that the Devils are playing the Islanders tonight at home. Abby is attending the game since her and Tito are on-again and she texts you all day sending you outfit options. You get to the prudential center before Nico to do some editing and you don’t see him again until warm-ups. 

Nico skates over to you, placing one gloved hand against the glass as soon as he sees you by the bench. You smile at him, bringing your own hand up to the other side. He mouths ‘I love you’ in German and you mouth it back before he skates off. 

During the national anthem you stand between the benches with Erika, trying to take some pictures of the guys. Feeling eyes on you, you look up to see Mat Barzal staring at you. He smiles when you finally look at him but you turn your attention away from him, not wanting to give him the time of day. As the game starts and you blow a kiss to Nico, you realize that you should’ve told him who Mat was to you. 

During the first intermission, you unblock Mat and draft out a text to him. You hesitate over the send button before Abby comes up beside you. “It’s going well!” She says happily. 

You delete the text and put your phone back in your pocket. “It’s tied 1-1.” 

“Yeah, but our men are doing great!” She smiles at you. “It’s weird to have men on different teams, huh?” 

“Abby, Nico doesn’t know.” You admit. 

“Doesn’t know what?” She furrows her brows at your nervous expression. “About you and Mat?”

You nod. “He knows I have a bad ex but I never told him who it was…” 

She bites her lip. “Everything’s been fine so far…maybe it will be okay.”

You knew it wasn’t going to be okay the moment you saw Nico and Mat headed out for the face off during the second period. Nico wins the draw but Mat quickly pins him on the wall. You watch in shock as their gloves go flying and Mat swings on Nico. Thankfully it gets broken up quickly and both of them are sent to the box. 

During the next intermission, you get a text from Nico. 

From: Lover ♥️

Would’ve been nice to know about Barzal

To: Lover ♥️

I didn’t think it would matter now

From: Lover ���️

That I was playing against your piece of shit ex? He said shit about you y/n. 

To: Lover ♥️

I’m sorry. Just ignore him.

From: Lover ♥️

I’m not going to let him disrespect you but we need to talk

You’re a ball of pure anxiety as you watch the clock in the third period wind down. Nico and Mat haven’t been on the ice for longer than a few seconds since the incident but you can see Mat chirping Nico any chance he gets. After the game, you say goodbye to Abby before heading home alone. You’ve convinced yourself that Nico is going to break up with you by the time he gets home. 

‘Why didn’t you wait for me?” He asks as he walks into the bedroom to find you packing a bag. “Where do you think you’re going?” He begins unpacking your things as he waits for you to answer him. 

“I didn’t think you’d want to see me.” You sniffle as you pick up your clothes he threw out of your bag. 

“Baby, come here.” He reaches for your wrist and tugs you down to the bed so you’re sitting side by side. “I love you. Am I a little upset with you? Yes, but I'm not leaving and neither are you. We’re going to get through this together.” He holds both of your hands as he looks at you.

You bite your lip to keep it from wobbling as you look at him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you Mat was my ex. I was just trying to forget about him and I didn’t think it would matter now anyways.” 

“He didn’t forget you.” Nico mutters. “It just would’ve been nice having a warning going into that faceoff.”

“I’m sorry.” You say again, not sure of what he wants to hear. 

“No more secrets, okay? We tell each other everything.” He presses his forehead to yours. “Deal?” 

You kiss him. “Deal.” 

Nico gets up to use the bathroom and you had just begun putting your clothes away when your phone starts ringing. You know who it is without having to look. 

“Why are you calling me?” You answer.

“I’m sorry.” Mat blurts out. 

“For hitting my boyfriend or for treating me like shit?” You roll your eyes. It’s been months. Why does he care now?

The word boyfriend doesn’t go unnoticed. “So it’s serious?” 

“It’s not a secret, yeah.” You sigh. “Why do you care?”

“I miss you and I'm sorry. If you’d give me another chance I’d do it right.” You know it’s bullshit.

“I love him, Mat.” You hope the words hurt him.

“Does he remind you of me?” He asks. “You traded one thirteen for another.”

“He’s nothing like you, thank god. I’ll never allow another man to treat me the way you did.” Your voice waivers for a moment as the emotions you feel for Nico overwhelm you. “Don’t call me again.” You hang up as Nico walks back in. 

“Who was that?” He asks you. 

“No one.” You respond. “Let’s go to bed.”

[yeyayeya]

I’ve wanted to make this post for a while but wanted to wait until the dub was officially over so

My Final Thoughts on the TGCF Season 2 English Dub

Howard Wang as Xie Lian is fucking perfect. Every single time he spoke it just, I don’t know how to properly put it into words, except it is so well done?? But when XL started basically having a mental breakdown in front of Hua Cheng after Lang Qianqiu found out about the truth of the Gilded Banquet, holy fuck did the emotions just hit me in the feels. The scream and he emotional fatigue after? Xie Lian’s voice is perfection omg

Shoutout to James Cheek for just voicing the gayest character ever (Hua Cheng) and writing the gayest script for TGCF. While I liked his voice in the first season, but I wasn’t the biggest fan of it. It wasn’t until the second season where almost everything improved, and James’s voice for Hua Cheng? *chef’s kiss*. Okay but at least tone down the gayness a bit. And seeing someone who has read the novel and having little easter eggs for the novel readers for them to go insane over is incredible. I’m going to miss his voice in Season 3 since they’re going to have to cast someone else as Hong’er, but that’s ok.

Male and Female Shi Qingxuan: OMG??? Perfect casting. I just know they both put so much effort into them and I am eternally grateful. They just sound like the best of friends (they are). Every single line from them was so fucking iconic, which is accurate to the Wind Master’s character. I love both their voices so much you don’t understand.

Lang Qianqiu: AAHHHHH. My son, my boy, they gave him justice and I am so happy. First read through of TGCF, I only cared for HuaLian, but reading it again has made me appreciate and fall in love with the side characters, with Lang Qianqiu being one of them. I’ll say it did take a bit for me to adjust to it, but he sounds so much like an anime protagonist that I am ok with it. Another perfect casting. I’m going to be so fucking sad that he won’t appear for such a long time, and while he does get brought up occasionally, his last appearance is going to be the finale. I’ll miss you my son 😔

Jun Wu: ASDFGHJKL. He sounds like such a manipulative/toxic ex and a father figure at the same time. wtf. But his voice is so sexy tho. I don’t like it but I do. And I thought his original Chinese voice was hot, and then the English one goes and surprises me. I hate that I love it

Qi Rong: Perfection, glorious, fucking incredible. HIS VA IS PERFECT. Original was slaying so hard, and English? Fucking killing it. He was actually the one I was looking forward to the most, and he 👏 did 👏 not👏 disappoint. I won’t get over the perfect casting. Ever. The crazy and mad laughs? The insults I’ve never heard about but decided to keep in mind? Literally everything. I’m sorry I can’t get over how great his voice is

Feng Xin and Mu Qing (of course together): I am so biased towards Lucien Dodge, so I immediately loved his voice for him. He slaying that tsundere cat boy vibe so well. I will admit that his voice made me like his character more tbh. Ok but Feng Xin’s? Every time I hear it, I always need at least 30 seconds to get used to it. Idk why. I don’t hate it, and I actually love it, but he sounds so much like a dad it’s so funny. I still love him tho.

Pei Ming: 😳. No but that was actually my reaction to his voice. Why is every single god’s voice so hot. Please calm down. I really did not like Pei Ming at first but damn. I can actually understand why every single woman went weak with him.

Ling Wen: While she didn’t get as much dialogue this season, I’ll still count her. I’ve heard some drama relating to her voice actress from a while back but I’m not bringing it up rn. But her English voice is almost exactly the same as the original, just, different languages of course. She has such a unique voice and it’s quite pleasing to hear. She also sounds a bit like Siri but it fits her character

Other major characters that got only a few lines but still slayed their roles (Ming Yi, Pei Xiu, Jian Lan, Yin Yu): Hello?? Can I be patient to hear their voices again? Probably not, but please I need more of them. Ming Yi sounded hot since he took voice lessons from Hua Cheng, Pei Xiu sounded like such a little wet cat (wtf where did this crush on him come from), Jian Lan slayed because she is such an underrated queen, and Yin Yu? I WAS NOT EXPECTING A DEEP VOICE FROM WTF. I will say I do prefer his Chinese VA a little more due to it being more in character with him sounding soft and somewhat tired. But I enjoy his confident and announcing voice. They should keep him for the QuanYin flashbacks.

All in all, perfect cast. I don’t have twitter/X but I see things from the VA’s from time to time. And seeing them interact with the fandom and trying to give more to their characters makes me so happy. I just desperately need for more of the characters to have voices (aka Shi Wudu, Quan Yizhen, Mei Nianqing, Yushi Huang, Male!Ling Wen, White-No-Face). Give me more please.

Please check out the dub it’s so fucking great.

[queerjesusthelord]

I've been thinking about her

You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened: why did they do what they did, was there some logic in it, were we so furious because of the denial, as we were unable to accept the forlorn finale and why did it hurt that much so nobody could recover from it till now.

It’s been two years, guys. Two years of re-reading Luke Jennings books, writing songs and dedicating them to VillanEve, doom scrolling post about them, about all the anger fans still got for Laura Neal and the shitty ending (as Villanelle would say with a sexy Russian accent). 

I was listening to my beloved Unloved soundtrack of course, all this time. I’ve been on their concert in Paris recently and felt euphoric as I was sinking into Eve and Villanelle love story again and again through their divine music. Every word and sound reflected with my whole body and soul – it was ineffable. Every time I listen to “I’ve been thinking about her” it brings me to tears. I genuinely want this song to play at my funeral one day.

Well, I did my best to remain in this state of equanimity and kinda succeed. But a couple of months ago I decided to re-watch KE from season 1 and here is what happened. I happily binge-watched all three seasons and it felt like home – a perfect comfort zone, a way of my escapism. I even discovered a place where they shoot Villanelle’s apartment (here in Paris), I walked there, secretly got into the courtyard – it was AMAZING – visualizing what happened there in the 1st season, remembering their dialogue with Eve – “I think about you all the time” and stuff. It was comme la presence de Villanelle and I felt so happy and inspired there.

Lately I realised that I’ve been struggling, not wanting to re-watch the goddamn last season. Why the fuck it was so hard? I just can skip the last 5 minutes and et voilà – it would be just perfect. Plus dearest Luke Jennings has been writing and posting his new book about Villanelle and Eve (RESURRECTION) since November 2023, so we know that in his book they got their happy ending and their love story goes on, so it’s good news, right? We have something to rely on “more rock than sand” and it sounds so easy…

But frankly it’s not – I couldn’t pretend I did not see it – the ending they’ve made. I didn’t want to be in this denial any more. I was so angry, I didn’t want to go through it again. But I wanted to see the kiss, to feel their love, to embrace this fucking finale as well. The mixed up feelings were bothering me much so I decided to contemplate on them more, to write this down and here’s what I got.

For me this show, the VillanEve story, was very personal. And it started way long before the book. The book was a cure to find my peace AFTER I watched the ending, so I think it is what it is: the show is one thing and the book is another. I cannot pretend they are the same, like “Villanelle’s death was never meant to be in the book so fuck Laura Neal and her interpretation”. It’s fucking painful but I need to admit it – they ruined my favourite show, something I really loved and I feel so miserable I cannot simply rewatch it from time to time (like Twin Peaks for instance) to feel cheerful and happy KNOWING what awaits me in the end. It’s not a comfort zone anymore, it is a pure Hélène style torture. 

I’ve never felt so attached to the heroes before. I mean, I watch a lot of tv shows and movies, and I easily emphathysise to every story I love. But THIS was different. It was a mind-blowing love-journey, irrational, psychotic, driven, crazy, fun, epic, passionate, surreal, iridescent and QUEER. I NEVER felt so seen and understood on the deepest level by just WATCHING the show. VillanEve resonates with my personal life and fantasies and I was glad that I found it. I’m more of a visual person, so it was crucial for me to be able to WATCH it, to see the performance of Sandra and Jodie and their desperate game with unresolved sexual tension where should, no, MUST have been the glorious end game. The happy ending for them and for all of us. Not just us queers, but all the people.

This show was twisted, sexy and fun from the very beginning – thanks to ingenious Phoebe Waller-Bridge. And it should have stayed like that and ended like that. It shouldn’t have to be a torture. It’s not Game of Thrones for christ sake. Besides, the story of The Twelve was screwed up too, and I will explain why.

We have a lot of this political shit in life already. Right parties, fucked up capitalism, like Russian government and its dictature. It’s no fun guys, this is really frightful and disastrous. So I believe we people do need some kind of an inspiration, a hope in the shows we watch – so we can take this hope to our lives and keep it, lean on it. In dark times like this it would be really helpful and right – so they should have caught the The Twelve gang and crush it, end it for good. But they (producers) fucked it all up so it’s quite impossible to be unfucked. 

They ruined the VillanEve AND the fiction fantasy itself. It was the Author and the Twink death at once. Why not choosing an open ending if you had no idea how to end the show? The open final is always a good way, for me it’s all about respecting your audience. Think David Lynch way. Open endings give you a possibility to rewatch the show and come up with new ideas and interpretations. But they screw this one too.

So no, I think will never accept the finale. I will be grieving for a long long time. Until some director or a show runner who loves VillanEve as much as I do, makes a come-back to fix this shit.

[distressednoise]

WIP Wednesday

Sometimes @notasapleasure lets me ramble at her about my terrible AU idea where Syril and Cassian are rival hockey goalies who despise each other, because she is too indulgent for her own good. And while part of me does sincerely mean to write this (because doing an AU of your old fandom in your new fandom is a proud tradition), I'm also not going to be able to for months, so I'm just going to put some porny Brassian chatfic under a cut and pretend it's a WIP Wednesday post, and you're all going to humour me that I will one day finish it.

For context:

Cassian has spent years slogging away in the minor leagues, where he can't admit to being injured because he's already too small, the doctors are terrible, the drugs are worse and Syril fucking Karn is always looking to chase him out of the lineup.

And now he's arrived in the promised land, where physio Brasso is advancing toward him with some designer drugs and perfect arms, ready to make all Cassian's nagging aches go away, at least temporarily. 

And there are just so many excuses for Brasso to touch him. Cassian learns to reach for them easily: Hi Brasso shoulder's not great. Hi Brasso feeling real tight, could you -? Brasso my leg's cramping again. Brasso Brasso Brasso.

At some point he decides he should probably return the favour.

Very carefully taking Brasso's hand in his and working it over. Focused so much on getting it right and not messing up Brasso's beautiful hands that he briefly forgets about Brasso's beautiful face, but when he looks up Brasso is staring at him with the kind of possessive, hungry expression that Cassian has wanted from him all season.

One of those hands comes up, catching on a crease in Cassian's expression, smooths it out. "It's ok," he says. "You can just ask."

Cassian can't "just ask". Cassian has "just asked" for things over and over again, and his entire career has been built on being clever enough to know what to do when "just asking" gets you a flat no. But this is Brasso.

He's not brave enough to do it straight. It's too much. He splits the difference and says "Anything else I can help you with?", leery, easily joking if it needs to be, ready to give brasso a just-buddies shoulder smack and laugh it off. But Brasso's reels him I'm by a fistful of shirt and doesn't stop until Cassian's straddling his lap, newly-loose hips stretched wide by Brasso's thighs. Their faces are so close. Cassian wonders if this is going to be a kissing hook up. Then Brasso lifts one leg a little, shuffles and bumps them closer, and Cassian thinks fuck it and makes it one. He asked. He's asking. Brasso makes an approving sound and opens up, lets Cassian lick into his mouth and scrape along his jaw

The NHL isn't the easiest environment to pick up guys in and Cassian told himself he wasn't missing it, but now that it's happening again, he's greedy for it. He wants all of Brasso all at once, wants to keep kissing him and suck him and stay grinding down on the growing ridge of his dick all at the same time. His hands have found skin. He can't open his eyes. He doesn't want to keep them closed. He's stuck there, skittery with indecision, until Brasso goes for his belt, which is wrong enough for him to say "No no no, you're not meant -" 

Brasso stops, unwraps his arm from behind Cassian. Holds them up in surrender. 

"I worked hard on these," Cassian says, taking him by the wrists. "You can't go and, and -" Cassian didn’t really think he'd ever want Brasso not to touch him, but this is - . He knows what he's doing. He needs Brasso to know that he knows. He presses Brasso's hands back to the wall. "Keep them there, OK?" 

Brasso smiles in a quiet, private way, but he doesn't laugh, and when Cassian lets go he doesn't move his arms.

As soon as Cassian leans back up and finds he has to rebalance, he's aware he's not made the best decision, but when has he ever? He reaches back for Brasso's thigh, and by silent agreement they manage to get one of Brasso's feet braced against a desk so he can lift his legs and simultaneously keep Cassian's weight forward and bring them close enough together for Cassian to get their trousers open, get his hand on Brasso's cock so he can feel the weight and the heat of it, thumb over the slit where it's wet and red and let himself think yeah, he's missed this a lot.

He's acutely aware that they're in medical and that there are beds and lube and all sorts of things around that would make this easier, that brasso would let him make this easier, gladly, but anything that involves breaking the bubble they're built between them feels dangerous. If he gets down he'll never get back up. If he turns away there's a chance Brasso will realise this is a mistake. He has one hand on the back of Brasso's neck, tight, and it won't let him let go. 

He's got just enough room to get his cock out, to line them up. He's trying to think of the least off-putting way to spit in his hand this close up to someone when Brasso says, "Hey, hey," and Cassian thinks this is it, the realisation, the suggestion that they awkwardly scuttle across the room to find something to make this more dignified and accidentally turn into colleagues again in the process. But then Brasso says "give it here," nodding at Cassian's hand, and when Cassian brings it up to his mouth it turns out Brasso is on the same page as him, wants to get him wet but not enough to move. Cassian feels the hot wet scrape of Brasso's tongue on his palm and thinks yeah, this is going to be fine.

He gets stuck for a moment on his hand over Brasso's mouth, on the drag of Brasso's stubble against it, on the fact that if he wants to hook a thumb behind Brasso's teeth and tug his head down he can, Brasso will just go with him. He reaches down with one hand to start working them in earnest and moves the other from the back of Brasso's neck to the hinge of jaw, fish hooks him, keeps tugging. Brasso's face is red and smeared with spit and Cassian is making it worse and Brasso is moaning and licking at the thumb hooked is his mouth, is trying to turn more into Cassian's hand. Cassian messes up everything and Brasso is happy to be messed up and when they are done he will put his hands on Cassian so carefully, Cassian can almost feel it already.

He keeps working, finds a level of pressure that makes Brasso curse and sticks to it, spits more, buries his face in Brasso's shoulder so he doesn't have to see Brasso's reaction to that and then regrets it when Brasso makes a low, guttural noise. When Cassian looks up he's got that expression again, the good one, the one that says he's seen through to some part of Cassian no-one else has managed to and wants to sink his teeth into it.

Cassian kisses him again, sloppier than last time, lets Brasso nudge his head back and worry at his neck even though it makes them lurch sideways precariously. He tries to get back to kissing after that, but Brasso pants, "I want to see, let me see," and wedges his head against Cassian's chest so he has a full view of where Cassian is jerking them both off. Cassian can see his hands hovering off the wall, can see Brasso pressing them back because he asked. He doubles down and Brasso swears loudly, sinks his teeth into Cassian's shoulder through his shirt.

"Proud of yourself for that?" Brasso manages after a second and Cassian is, yes. He’s enjoying the way that Brasso's shaking, and close enough that he can nip at Brasso’s ear and say "very," then spit again while Brasso is looking and keep going. Brasso looks like Cassian used to feel, like he can't decide whether he wants to look at Cassian's face or his dick or keep burrowing into his shirt. He settles on his face, surges up to bite at his jaw. No-one ever looks at Cassian and Cassian never blinks at anything but Brasso's teeth are on him and Cassian closes his eyes and comes.

Brasso's hands on him are as careful as he expected, pulling him forward and tugging up his shirt so he can rock himself over the edge against the taut plane of Cassian's stomach. Cassian thinks briefly about how far it is to the car, who might be here. Who might notice if he left here covered in Brasso, whether Brasso would follow him home and add to it. Whether he'd get to drive along with Brasso's hand pressed up under the edge of his shirt, scratching at this mess they've made together.

So when Brasso vanishes for a minute and reappears with a length of medicals ubiquitous blue paper, Cassian thinks fuck it, and asks.

[total-drama-shark]

Do you have a favorite romantic relationship from each season?

Yoo it's been a while since I've been asked for my td thoughts :) I answered an ask this before that you can check here but I’ll provide additional info in this one.

TDI

I have to go with Duncney in this one, their dynamic is strong and their storyline is very well handled IMO, Gwent was a more long term and endgame couple for this season but the issue with them is that their relationship status always seemed to reset every episode regardless of how much development they got in individual episodes, so it felt like it wasn’t going anywhere when it should, they liked each other since ep 1 but by the start of ep 16 they were still at that exact same status. With Duncney though the development they get in an episode carries on to the next, making it all cohesive and neat :)

TDA

I don’t think I was a big fan of many canon couples this season, Duncney was very hit or miss, Gwent broke up, Bridgeoff was hitting constant bump in the roads. I’d say Lesharold but I’m not sure if they count given they weren’t an official couple, and I preferred them in TDWT even though they had less screen time there. So I guess that really leaves us with Nizzy, but again I prefer them in TDI and TDWT. Guess TDA just isn’t my season.

TDWT

Aleheather my beloved, we love an enemies to lovers and a WT Heather W (Heather’s win is canon to me). While I admit the writing wasn’t perfect when it came to consistency, one episode Alejandro flirts with Heather to tease her while another he doesn’t want people to think he like her, it’s our first properly well done endgame relationship in a season IMO. Seeing their constant complicated conflict is an absolute treat and it’s one of my favorite canon couples period.

TDROTI

Sometimes I wonder if I like Zoke because they’re cute or I can project so much onto them, that doesn’t matter though because my fave this season is Samkota! Dakota’s development learning to be less superficial in her judgement, learning to care for people, and finding someone in her life who not only actually likes her and cares for her as a person, but loves her? My heart <3 Sam starting out awkward messing up while trying to compliment her or finding things they have in common to being able to successfully swoon her is also adorable :)

TDAS

Unpopular opinion? I love Scottney, both how the season started presenting it as sorta like a Duncney 2.0 with Scott being the bad boy to Courtney’s uptight good girl, but also how they later go about it with Scott actually just being a mess with no experience in romance and Courtney somehow still being charmed by him despite knowing just how pathetic he is at trying to be romantic. It’s cute, it takes me back, I wish it last longer.

TDPI

Jashawn is considered the saving grace of Pahkitew by various people in the fandom, and while I enjoy the season more than your average td fan, I do admit it’s a highlight. They’re sweet and cute and it’s an a character screwing up and having to reevaluate their life viewpoints and priorities to be able to truly learn how to love someone and make up for their mistakes is a great development and one I don’t think we’ve seen before! The best we’ve seen the show handle couples having interpersonal conflicts I think.

TDIR

Rajbow is an obvious one here, like even if I didn’t love them what other couple was there? Chemma? Hah, no. But luckily I do love them! I’m glad TD’s first queer characters/couple are mlm, since in the earlier seasons the mere idea of queer dudes was the butt of a joke rather than actual representation, it feels like this is making up for that. Bowie’s confidence and smarts contrasting and bouncing of Raj’s himbo energy and his still discovering his sexuality is very nice to see and very enjoyable. I hope to see them develop this couple further next season :)

Thank you again for the ask anon! I love answering asks like these :D

[littlemisssquiggles]

So miles did another cameo video about a week ago someone asked him what it would have been like if Oscar had gone to the ever after and Miles confirmed that if Oscar had been there with Ruby she wouldn't have gone through the conflict and trauma she was going through and volume nine if he had been there cuz Oscar would have been the one to notice it instantly unlike the others who didn't notice it till after she snapped at them

You can even see hints of it in the episode were they meet John again and they're at his house where Ruby sitting at the table and across from Ruby is an empty chair while Ruby sits there and look at Yang and Blake happily celebrating their new relationship Ruby sits there if so she's missing someone and that someone is Oscar I think

Hello anon-chan! Pardon the late answer to your inbox.

Do you mind linking me to this specific cameo you mentioned pretty please? Because I would honestly loved to listen to it.

Funnily enough, you’re the second person to bring up the theory that the empty seat across from Ruby at Jaune’s home in the Ever After during the scene before Jaune returns Crescent Rose to Ruby could’ve easily been filled by Oscar.

It makes perfect sense that Oscar would’ve been the one to notice Ruby’s depression if he were there since he has been shown to be weary of that in previous seasons such as the infamous dojo scene. Oscar noticing Ruby’s change in demenour is what initially prompted him to push her to admit her true feelings about everything that happened during the Fall of Beacon.

Not to mention that when Ruby was shown to be overwhelmed at the Cotta-Arc during the moment when Jaune exploded after JNR learned the truth about Oz and Salem, Oscar was the one to take notice of this and even did his best to help quell the situation.

Oscar has always been observant of Ruby’s feelings especially when she is at her lowest. It’s one of the reasons why I love their dynamic so much. Ruby has always been protective of Oscar since the moment he joined the team, looking out for him in her own way just as much as he looked out for her.

Oscar should’ve been there for Ruby in the Ever After just as how Ruby should’ve been the one to lead the charge to save him from Monstra instead of Jaune back in V8.

I absolutely hated the fact that Ruby was omitted from Oscar’s side of the story back then and this is one of the reasons why I didn’t enjoy that season.

The CRWBY showrunners spent the last few seasons continuously building up this shared sense of caring and protectiveness as the basis of the Rosegarden friendship and yet…there was no payoff?

They showed prior moments of Ruby protecting Oscar yet…she was completely absent during his most dire time of need---being a prisoner of Salem and brutally tortured by her and Hazel for hours. Ruby was not allowed to protect Oscar from that.

They showed prior moments of Oscar being a voice of wisdom to encourage Ruby to open up and be honest with herself and those around her yet…he was absent during her darkest emotional moment yet---her literal breaking point where she committed the Ever After equivalent of suicide.

You see the pattern?

Neither Ruby nor Oscar were present during each other’s worse moments.

They weren’t allowed to because the writers knew, canonically, these two would be each other’s true savior---their beacon in the darkness to get more metaphorical.

Because they needed the story to go a different way to get the ending that we actually got in V8 and V9, that’s how it had to go.

If Oscar has gone to the Ever After then Ruby would’ve never had her whole arc which…needed to happen. Although, some might argue that the whole point of Ruby’s journey in the Ever After was ultimately made pointless by her going from “no longer wanting to be Ruby Rose anymore” to “being Ruby Rose just as I am is enough. I’m Ruby-nough! I don’t need to change at all. I’m perfect just the way I am even with the flaws that I still possess that led me down this path in the first place”.

Sarcasm aside, I don’t dislike the fact that Ruby chose to be herself in the end. Being yourself and having yourself be enough is a good message. I just wished the showrunners had allowed this concept to cook more. While I’m aware they were pressed for time given the fact that no V10 was greenlit, nevertheless, I would’ve rather a twist where only Weiss, Blake, Yang and Jaune were able to return home while Ruby remained in the Ever After to complete her transformation.

We spent nearly an entire season building up to Ruby’s breakdown. It took 8 out of 10 episodes to have Ruby fall apart only to have her have her big revelation in the last episode. That makes the whole thing seem almost flat so I don't blame some fans for being disappointed with the conclusion to Ruby's Ever After story being concluded that way.

I dunno about you anon-chan but this just makes me disappointed that Oscar wasn’t present for the Ever After Arc because all cues prior to V9 hinted that he could’ve easily been added to this season and worked.

Oscar was the one who first introduced the audience to the fairytale of the Girl Who Fell Through the World.

Not to mention the whole theme of the Ever After being about embracing change---Oscar SHOULD’VE gone to the Ever After. Part of Oscar’s journey is about him coming to terms with the Merge with him either losing himself completely or becoming a new person entirely.

Seeing Oscar going through his own arc while trying to help Ruby with hers could've been great to see. But alas, that's not what we got.

I will give the showrunners this though---if Oscar had gone to the Ever After then we probably may not have gotten the clue that Ruby cares deeply for him.

It is very evident after V9 that Oscar's life is precious to Ruby. Shipping and romantic implications asides, you can't deny the fact that Oscar's wellbeing is important to Ruby.

Much like characters such as Penny and Pyrrha, Oscar is someone who Ruby doesn't want to lose.

Better yet, he is someone precious to Ruby that she doesn't wish to lose as a result of her failure.

Take a look at the deaths of Pyrhha and Penny. What do those deaths have in common?

Ruby failing to stop it from happening in the first place.

Ruby was present for Penny's first death but arrived too late to stop it from happening.

Ruby was present for Pyrhha's death but arrived too late to stop it from happening.

Ruby was present again for Penny's final death but got tossed into the Ever After before she could do anything to help stop it from happening.

Once again, Penny died and Ruby failed to stop it from happening. This is why the words of her illusion cut Ruby deeply during the Mad Tea Party fight.

"...Just like you were too late to save me at the Vytal Festival. I died in Atlas too, didn't I? Could you imagine what that's like? To be completely and utterly failed time and again by someone who meant the world to you..."

Similar to Penny, Ruby is someone who Oscar has been shown to care deeply for and Ruby, in turn, cares a lot for him. The evidence of that has been shown sprinkled throughout the seasons. There is no denying that these two smaller, more honest souls care very much for each other.

While there has yet to be any payoff to the development in their relationship as yet, one thing's for certain is that Oscar is a person of importance to Ruby.

He is someone she doesn't want to lose. He is someone she doesn't want to fail.

He is someone she can't stand to watch die because of her own inability to protect him.

Not again after she's failed others like him in the past.

Overall, I guess the point I'm trying to make here is, while it would've been great to see Oscar in the Ever After with Ruby (since he definitely would've prevented her breakdown), at the same time, the showrunners did still found a way to use his presence as part of the narrative to signify something about his connection to Ruby.

Oscar needed to be absent in order to Ruby to have her arc yet ironically, he was the reason for Ruby's breakdown in the first place. While Little's death was the final straw that drove Ruby over the edge, before that moment, it was actually the imagery of Oscar's death caused by HER HANDS that drove Ruby to her final breaking point.

While it would've been nice to see Oscar there with Ruby, in a way, he was still there with her---being used by Neo to indicate to the audience that Oscar is a person of dear importance to Ruby.

Moving forward, I expect the events of V9 to have some kind of impact on Ruby's overall relationship with Oscar. I want to believe the events of the Ever After would make Ruby more overprotective of Oscar; possibly hinting at much deeper feelings. That's how I see it.

~LMS (2023)

[akkrosu]

Thank you, @recentadultburnout, for tagging me and asking for my nine favorite TV shows! I might have gone a little overboard because I haven’t been tagged a lot before, but please indulge me.

This is going to be limited to QLs, if only because I couldn’t think of a single piece of Western (or straight) media I love and/or remember well enough to be able to put on this list. The ones I have chosen are below, in no particular order.

1. The Untamed

This one belongs here both for being a fantastic story and for being the reason I even discovered any of the other series on this list. My entire “obsessed with Asian queer media” thing started all because a friend once told me, “Let me show you what I’ve been watching recently.” What can I say, drunk Lan Zhan got to me.

2. Moonlight Chicken

One of the most beautiful, thought-provoking and mature series I’ve ever seen, QL or otherwise. P’Aof is a genius and I would have to hide in shame if I didn’t have at least one of his works on this list. He created a narrative of six real people trying to figure out life and how to be happy and there is so much strength in every single one of them.

3. Not Me

With at least three watchthroughs one of my most-watched BLs. I mean, OffGun and the social commentary and political action and the queerness of it all and the characters. Ugh, I love this show. Plus, the music and musical editing were phenomenal.

4. Where Your Eyes Linger

Probably my favorite Korean BL ever? Also the KBL to really get me into KBLs, so it already deserves a medal for that (I was missing out on so much). I’m a sucker for good yearning and forbidden relationships, and this series gave me everything I wanted. And, again, the soundtrack. The instrumental of See U playing as Kang Gook storms Tae Joo’s dad’s house lives rent-free in my mind.

5. HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count

Yes, it’s the other HIStory 3, the one everyone ignores because ‘he went out to buy salt’. Look, don’t judge me, I own up to my love for this series. It’s not the show’s fault all anyone ever remembers is the tragic ending. It’s also such a beautiful story about a total dork falling in love with a lonely nerd and defying all odds to be with him. Plus, the best sibling relationship ever. And (spoiler) said dork dying doesn’t invalidate everything else the series tells us. Yes, it was sad, but I can deal with the sadness. And sometimes, the sadness is as much part of a show as it is of life.

6. The Eclipse

This series haunts me to this day. I was obsessed with it, and I still am. Akk is one of my favorite characters ever written, and First portrayed him beautifully. So did Khaotung with Ayan. The sheer existence of P’Golf baffles my mind to this day. These 12 episodes gave me everything I’ve ever wanted.

7. The Eighth Sense

I take back what I said about Where Your Eyes Linger. This is my favorite KBL. I’m not even sure I can explain why. It’s just so honest. And so, so queer. It made me cry so many times, and the storytelling was magnificent. Plus, it’s one of the few full-length KBLs we have.

8. We Best Love

The cups in my profile picture are the ones Yu Zhenxuan and Pei Shouyi drink out of in the flashbacks of the second season, so... yeah.

This was my very first QL that wasn’t a bromance, and so I’m very biased. I’m almost mad at myself for making this my first one, because sometimes it feels like nothing else could ever live up to it. I admit to having a special love for season 1, even though season 2 seems to be the one people talk about a lot more. It’s just perfect, everything about it. Especially Gao Shide’s mom.

9. My School President

What a phenomenal show. I remember how much I was looking forward to Fridays during the time this was airing, and each week it gave me everything I wanted. Gemini and Fourth are fantastic actors, the friend groups made me cry all the time, it’s one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen, and there are some absolute bangers in there, musically speaking. Gun and Tinn will always have a special place in my heart.

Some honorable mentions because it’s really hard to pin down exactly nine:

Never Let Me Go – I spent a lot of time debating whether to put this or MSP in this list because I love them both equally. And because they aired around the same time, they are sort of irrevocably tied together in my mind.

Big Dragon – I loved this significantly more than I ever expected to, and I can’t be impartial about Yai to this day, because I love him with all my heart. This was such a messy, weird, chaotic show, and yet it somehow gave us such beauty and sappy people in love.

Step by Step – It doesn’t get to be on the list because it hasn’t finished airing yet, and so it could still fuck up, but if it keeps going like this, it is definitely going to become one of my favorites. (Same with Be My Favorite, honestly.)

I don’t know many people around here, and certainly not many I wouldn’t feel awkward tagging, but I’ll just be awkward anyway and kindly ask @ellaspore and @biochemjess if they feel up for it. I wanna know! (No pressure, though.)

[cecekeating]

My 612 Jordayla Analysis/Commentary and Breakdowns pt 4

Thank you TV gods for giving me a Layla/Laura moment. I will eat the crumbs the writers threw at me today. I loved seeing Laura share a moment with Layla and Jordan. I would have loved a conversation bit like I said, I will take the crumbs. The moment Laura is out of earshot, Jordan lets Layla know that they need to talk. Jordan explains that he didn’t want to bring the conversation initially because she is in a much better place. Again, shoutout to the writing for continuity. Jordan is still thinking about Layla and being super considerate about her mental health.  Layla on the other hand wants to know if he has cold feet. She lets him know that he can tell her if he does. I thought this was super sweet. She wants to be there for Jordan and she is making an effort to create a safe space for Jordan, just like he has always done for her. Jordan assures her that he is fine but they need to talk about their future. 

This was where I heaved a sigh of relief. Layla has actually been thinking about the future and proactively got a place for them already. So do you see where the look she shared with Jordan in 606 comes in? She also confirms onscreen for the audience that she wants to have children “eventually”. That “eventually” line is kinda giving “sooner than later” to me. I mean is it a Jordayla storyline if stuff doesn’t happen earlier than expected?

Now there is also something I picked from this scene. As I watched, I felt this scene was hinting at the dynamic of Jordayla as a married couple. In this episode we saw Jordan worry about the future and we also saw something similar in episodes 602/603. It was even a point of contention and he admitted that he was so focused on the future that he forgot to just live in the moment with Layla. So it looks like the writing is sort of establishing a tendency for Jordan to be in over his head about wanting the best for his family and spiraling about it. This episode and previous episodes have not tackled this, leading me to suspect that this might be something he will struggle with in marriage, especially if Jordayla has a child. I can see him trying his hardest to be the best husband and father and being overwhelmed by it. This can be tied to his relationship with Billy. Because when you look at Jordan as a character, a lot of his fears and insecurities stem from Billy and how he parented Jordan. I have always felt the writing never tackled this and having Jordan navigate this in marriage makes perfect sense. 

Now for Layla, she will be going into marriage very much aware and informed. Therapy brought to light many of the issues she had with her parents and how she was raised and so in marriage, she is likely going to be the one supporting Jordan. Remember earlier in the write up I said Jordan has an understanding of Layla’s childhood and how it affected her as a teenager and an adult. This may mean that Layla would be more stable to handle parenting than Jordan since she has worked through her issues. Jordan hasn’t done so yet. So their season 6 dynamic may likely flip with Layla playing more of a support system for Jordan. That is why in this episode, we had her already do some proactive work to alleviate Jordan’s worry. Remember that she now understands that she and Jordan are a team. She told him that she has “got him” and “they are in this together” so if s7 has Layla support Jordan as he navigates being a husband and father, know that the seeds were planted here. 

Of course we don’t know NK’s plan for s7 but based on the writing, this is what I can see happening. 

Okay, that is all the yapping for this episode. I will be back with a lotta yapping once the wedding is aired and best believe, I am going to say all that I can remember. Thank you for supporting me, Jordayla Nation! There is no fandom I’d rather be in than with you guys! 

Next stop, the JORDAYLA WEDDING!!

[hellowhisperingstars]

Chapter Eight: The Deal

Summary: Time has moved forward and after months Eddie asks an important question. Unfortunately, your perfect little world starts to crumble.

Pairing: Rockstar/Bar Owner!Eddie Munson x Baker!Reader 

Words: 12K

Warnings: 18+, time skip, very slight dom/sub dynamic if you squint, smut, PinV sex, fingering, nipple play, cussing, overuse of pet names, Y/N used, hospitals, death of a family member, funeral, verbal abuse, name-calling (derogatory: reader gets called a whore), controlling parents, protective Eddie, angst.

A/N:  Here is chapter eight! This one took me so long to do and I am so sorry about that but here it is! It's sad. So maybe some tissues? I know I mentioned it in the status update but I am thinking of making some time stamps about what Eddie and our little baker did during the time skip. If anyone has any ideas you want me to write about, feel free to drop them in my inbox!

Likes, comments, and reblogs are always greatly appreciated! <3

Please let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list! I will be double checking if you have your age in your bios! AGELESS OR BLANK BLOGS WILL NOT BE ADDED TO THE TAG LIST!

Previous - Masterlist - Forward

Days turned into weeks and weeks into months, the frost of winter had melted away and the flowers of Spring were in full bloom, the promise of Summers' warm breezes not far away, and the bakery was exploding in even more bright colors and fun treats to mark the changing of the seasons. The little winter decorations on the cakes and cupcakes have been switched out for sunflowers and beach balls. The cake you had finished that morning for the display case was a fun one with ocean waves, a beach towel, and a little umbrella to set the tone of the scene. 

Moving behind the counter, you grabbed the empty plates from the cases and smiled at a small boy as he looked at the cake in awe. Chuckling a little bit, you placed the plates on the back counter and grabbed a baking tissue and took a cookie from the freebie jar behind you, and passed it over to him with a wink. “On the house.”

“What do you say, Colton?” His mother said as she smiled down at him, her hands filled with the small box of goods and a second much younger child who was perched on her hip. Much too small for a cookie. 

“Thank you!” Colton cried with big round brown eyes that reminded you of Eddie’s. 

Eddie. He had completely consumed you, body and soul, and when you weren't at work or with friends and family you were with him in your own little world where he made the rules and you obeyed. A world where you didn’t have to think of anything. You loved that world and though you were too scared to admit it out loud yet you loved him. The thought made your heart beat faster in your chest. Shaking the thought from your head you smiled at the little boy in front of you. “You’re very welcome!” 

Giving the little ones a treat was always one of your favorite things, they got so happy over a simple cookie. You wave as the little family leaves your shop, their forms fading into the night. You watched as Emma walked around the counter and locked the new door turning the open sign to closed before she turned and started to clean up the cafe tables. You had kept the old one for the hell of it and it’s currently living its best life in your office leaning up against the wall until you can figure out what you wanted to do with it. The light above you flickered before completely going out, frowning, you looked up glaring at it. That light has been the bane of your existence for a week now, you’ve changed light bulbs, called electricians, and not one of them has figured out what was wrong with it. “For fuck’s sake…”

“Light again?” Marty asked as he started to cash out the register.

“Always this goddamn light.” You mutter with a sigh. “Tried every damn thing to fix it and nothing.” 

“I can fix it.” A voice said behind you as two arms wrapped around your waist. 

Jumping you looked over your shoulder with a squeak. Eddie had a bad habit of sneaking in and scaring you when you least expect it. “Holy shit!”

“Hi, my little sugar cube.” Eddie laughed as he pulled you close to his chest giving you a kiss on the side of your neck before he looked up at the light. Cocking his head to the side as it flickered back to life before dying again. “Huh. How long has that been happening?”

“A week,” Marty said, passing you the bag full of money so you could put it in the safe in your office until tomorrow morning. “No one can figure out why and any bulb we change it to does the exact same thing. Dies.”

“It’s taunting me.” You glare at it.

Laughing, Eddie looked down at you, his hands squeezing your waist. “Want me to fight it? I’ll kick its ass for you.”

“Can you?” Turning, you put your hand on his chest, batting your eyelashes at him like a damsel in distress. 

“Get me a ladder babe and I’ll take it out.” He smiled as he pulled you close to him pushing his nose into your hair. 

“You guys are gross,” Emma smirked as she passed you both to throw away the trash. 

“She’s just jealous.” The rockstar laughed as he looked up at the light again. “But seriously do you have a ladder?”

“In storage.” Looking over at Marty you asked him to show Eddie where it was. Putting your head against Eddie’s chest you sighed when he put his hand on the back of your head. “I have orders to make. I’m super behind.”

“Go on,” Eddie said, kissing the crown of your head before pushing you towards the kitchen with his hand that dropped from your head to lay on the small of your back. Glancing up at the light again he narrowed his eyes at it. “I’ll take a look at this.”

Eddie grunted a little as he twisted the light back into place; it had taken him a little while to figure out what was wrong, got shocked a few times in the process, but he got it in the end. He’ll make the permanent fix tomorrow when the stores are open. Climbing from the ladder he closed it and pushed it up against the wall behind the counter before he followed the sounds of Madonna into the kitchen, to you. The music was playing at a decent level for the time of night. Peeking his head in he smiled at you as you sprayed some oil into four tins. Looking a little more stressed and tired than he left you. 

“Well, I found your problem with the light,” Eddie said as he wandered back into the kitchen rubbing his hands on his jeans to wipe the dust from them. “It’s something with the wiring. I’ll have to stop at the hardware store in the morning to get the supplies I need. Should be good to go by tomorrow afternoon. I’ll have to cut the electricity for a bit though.”

“How long?”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Eddie thought for a moment. “Twenty minutes? Thirty tops. It’s an easy fix but I wanna make sure I don’t burn down the shop.”

“I appreciate that,” Looking up you smiled at him, new streaks of flour had appeared on your face as you moved about the kitchen getting two different kinds of batter poured into the freshly oiled tins so all four could go into the oven. “Thank you so much, babe. You’re a lifesaver.”

“Not a big deal, sweet thing.” He shrugged as he walked in further looking around the kitchen as he walked towards the island bracing his arms against it. The air smelled sweet, like chocolate and sugar cookies. "You amaze me, you know that? I wouldn't have the patience for this."

"You have like an entire Rolodex of cocktails in your brain and you can learn a song just from listening to it." You giggled.

"Yeah, but a little extra booze doesn't ruin the drink. Too much salt can ruin an entire batch of cookies."

"I’ve done that.” You laughed, “When I was in school. They were awful." 

"You really like baking, don’t you?"

"I do. It was kinda the one thing I was good at. Everything has a set amount of ingredients and once you get those down it’s simple science. It helps to relieve my stress. Most of the time anyway, right now I’m about six orders behind. Tiffany being sick and Ada out of town has really fucked me up schedule-wise. Plus with Nana being sick I’ve been very scatterbrained.” You said wiping your forehead on your arm as you picked up two of the now cake batter-filled tins. “Can you grab that oven door for me?'' You gestured with a tin in your hand.

“Oh yeah,” Eddie said, grabbing the door and pulling it open for you to shove the cakes in. He knew your grandmother wasn’t doing well and he could see how it was affecting you. The heat of the oven blew his hair back a bit and he watched nervously as you placed the tins in, scared you would burn yourself. “Careful.” 

“I got it,” You chuckled. Looking at the top rack you grabbed the oven mitts from the magnet on the side and pulled the tray of cookies out. Turning the opposite way to not burn Eddie you placed the hot cookie sheet on a round corkboard to cool. Tossing the mitts on the counter you turned the heat up and changed the time on the oven before turning and grabbing the last two tins and shoving those inside with the others.

“Cookies out and cooling, cakes are in. What else?” You mutter to yourself as Eddie closes the oven watching you walk over to the board hanging on the wall. Grabbing the list you pull the pencil from behind your ear and cross off three items from your agenda. “Mrs. Webber wants two dozen blueberry muffins.” 

Looking up at the clock you see that it’s close to ten and you still need to frost three dozen cupcakes, decorate the sweet sixteen cake when it comes out of the oven and cools, and start a strawberry cheesecake. “Fuck. I’m going to be here forever.” 

“I can help Sweetheart,” Eddie said coming around the counter and placing his hand on the small of your back letting his fingers knead the muscles there. “Tell me what you need me to do.”

Groaning at the feel of his fingers massaging the tense muscles you closed your eyes for a moment just enjoying the attention, all you wanted was for him to take you upstairs and turn your brain to mush. But that would have to wait. Blinking you looked over at the rack of cupcakes for a seven year olds birthday party. “How do you feel about frosting and sprinkling cupcakes?”

Looking over to where the trays of marbled cupcakes sat he nodded. “I think I can handle that.”

“You need to wash your hands though.” You said, glancing down at his hands. “And put your hair up.”

Bringing his hands up, Eddie's eyebrows crinkled together as he looked at them. They looked pretty clean. Shrugging he pulled his long hair up into a bun that sat at the back of his head a few loose curls falling back into place to frame his face. “They're not even dirty.”

You took his wrists in your hands, sighing still stressed. “You were just up on a ladder fiddling around with dusty wiring. Dirty hands will contaminate the food and I don’t have time to remake them.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows at your tone and stared you down for a moment before he smiled. He enjoyed it when you were feisty.

“You may be dominant in the bedroom, Sir.” You said with a smug grin as you examined his hands before looking up at him from beneath your lashes. “But I am dominant in the kitchen. My bakery, my rules. Wash your hands please.”

Chuckling, Eddie leaned forward placing his face just inches away from yours. “Yes, ma’am.” 

Biting your lip, you let one hand drop and dragged him with the other towards the sink, turning the water on you pushed your hands under it before pumping some soap into your palms and looked up at him to follow your lead. A little giggle bubbled up as he pushed his hands under the water with you letting you drop a pump of soap onto his palms before you both washed the soap away. Grabbing the paper towels from the counter you handed him two sheets before grabbing your own and drying your hands before tossing it into the trash can. Leading him over to the cupcakes you grab one off the rack and hold it out to show him. “Okay, so. This is the easy stuff, not that I think you couldn’t do it if it was complicated, it's just tedious. All you have to do is take a cupcake, spread the frosting on, and then roll the top around in the sprinkles. Like this.” 

You demonstrate for him, taking the knife you scoop a good dollop of teal frosting onto it before spreading it around. “The frosting doesn’t have to look pretty so don’t worry too much about that.”

Placing the knife back in the frosting bowl you grab the bowl of sprinkles and put the top of the cupcake inside, rolling it around gently letting the sticky frosting coat itself in sugar sprinkles. “Once it looks completely coated just put it to the side. We can box them up later.”

You pointed to the resting area and gently placed the finished cupcake down, looking over at him with a smile. “That’s pretty much it.”

“I can definitely handle that babe,” Eddie said with a confident nod. 

“Then I will let you get to it. Those muffins aren’t going to bake themselves.” You laughed and turned to go but stopped and looked back at him, watching as he grabbed a cupcake. Lifting up on your tiptoes, you placed a kiss on his cheek before you placed your heels on solid ground again pressing your forehead into his shoulder. “Thank you, Sir. You’re saving my ass here.”

Eddie smiled down at you when you used his title. “I’m always here to help you, sweetheart. All you need to do is ask. Now check those cakes and start on the muffins baby.”

Giggling, you nodded. “Yes, Sir.” 

The two of you worked in peace with only the sounds of baking and music filling the room. After a check on the cakes, you took them out when they were ready and placed them off to the side to cool, moving the cookies from the sheets and onto a rack and placing the baking sheets in the large sink to wash later. Moving about your kitchen you grabbed the items you needed to make those blueberry muffins. A few minutes later Whitney Houstons “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” started up making you dance a little in your place mixing the wet ingredients with the dry ones to form a batter.

A groan came from the side of the kitchen where Eddie was stationed with a cupcake in his hand. “Not Whitney Houston.”

“Um no, none of that, you do not disrespect the Queen in my kitchen!” You cried feigning offense as you looked up at him. Grabbing a spatula from the counter still coated in the muffin batter, completely forgetting the task at hand, you used it as a microphone as you sang the song as loudly as possible to get under his skin. Laughing, you started to dance around the area looking at him as he watched you, chuckling at your antics. 

He knew he should get you back on track if you wanted to finish all your orders but just watching you let loose in this moment wasn’t something he wanted to end so quickly. He has seen so many sides of you in the last few months and yeah, he loved your submissive side. But this side, the goofy side, was his favorite. Leaning back against the counter he smiled as you got closer to him.

“Oh I wanna dance with somebody, I wanna feel the heat with somebody, yeah, I wanna dance with somebody. With somebody who loves me.” You sing as you point at him, doing a little twirl you sway your hips, and walk back to your spot tossing the spatula into the sink as you go. 

Back on the baking wagon it doesn’t take you long to whip up the muffins and put them in the still-hot oven before you look over to see Eddie is almost done with the cupcakes. Looking back up at the clock you yawn, shaking your head to wake you up as you gather the ingredients for that cheesecake.

“I heard that.” He said, turning to look over his shoulder at you. “Is that last order easy to make?”

You shrug letting out another yawn. “Kinda, it takes an hour to bake a cheesecake unfortunately, and it’s for an early morning pick up so I have to get it done tonight or Mr…” You grab the ticket to look at the name. “Lewis is going to be pissy and I don’t have the energy to deal with it. I can frost the lemon cake tomorrow morning since it’s for a late pick-up.”

“Tell you what,” Eddie said as he counted the last few cupcakes, there were only about four left. Taking a moment to step away from the cupcake corner he moved towards you letting his hand cup your cheek and brushing some flour off your face. Dropping a kiss to your forehead he looked into your eyes. “Let me finish up with these and I’ll help you with the cheesecake. We can clean up and box orders while it’s baking. Then we can get you to bed. Sound good?”

“Stay?” You ask, grabbing onto the hem of his shirt. 

“Yeah, baby.” Eddie nodded, kissing your forehead again. “I’ll stay. Let's finish up, yeah?”

With the two of you working together and you showing him how to do a few things, the last items on your list were done, either sitting on the counter to cool or in the oven. You laughed at the jokes Eddie was telling you as you packed up already completed orders, putting a few on the shelves and the ones that needed to be kept cool in the fridges. Once the cheesecake was finished you took a knife to the edges to keep it from sticking to the pan as it cooled and set it under a cover on the counter as you watched Eddie move around the kitchen and shop double checking locks on the doors and windows, switching off any lights still on as he did. Back at your side he grabbed your waist and turned you towards the stairs. 

“Let's get you to bed, sleepy girl,” Eddie said as he followed you up the stairs to your apartment. His hand was on your back making sure you were steady on the steps. Once at the top of the stairs he leaned over you to open the door and let you in first before closing it and flipping the lock in place as you shuffled to your room exhausted, pulling off your shoes and clothes and tossing them on the floor like a Hansel and Gretal bread trail for Eddie to follow. You had even gotten your bra off without taking off your shirt. Chuckling, he toed off his boots by your front door and followed you picking up your discarded clothes as he went until he was in the room with you and dropped them in the hamper by your dresser.

You had already collapsed horizontally across the foot of your bed in just a pair of panties and a camisole you had under your shirt, a groan leaving you as your eyes closed. With a shake of his head, Eddie got ready for bed tossing his clothes on the floor by your dresser before he moved over to you his hands rubbing up and down the backs of your thighs trying to coax you into bed like a normal person. Speaking softly he smiled down at you, “Come on baby. You’ll be more comfortable with your head on a pillow.”

Groaning you lift yourself up on tired arms and with Eddie’s help you crawled to the pillows before flopping down again. His little laugh made you smile into your pillow as you felt him pull the covers out from under you and slip into bed next to you tucking you both into the cool sheets. Sleepily, you waited for him to get situated, once he was you cuddled up to him letting him pull you closer so you could hear his heart beating in his chest. A happy sigh left you and you felt him kiss your head as sleep pulled you under. 

Eddie smiled as he watched you, your breathing becoming even as you fell deeper and deeper into your dreams, the hand that wasn’t around you was playing with a lock of your hair. In a quiet voice, he whispered, “I love you, sweetheart.”

Rolling over you cuddled deeper into Eddie’s arms, your hand resting right over his heart. Blinking you opened your eyes, feeling your hair move as he breathed out, his nose buried in your locks. Smiling a little you looked up at his sleeping face, he looked so cute. Placing a kiss on his chest you carefully lifted his arm so you could crawl out from under it leaving it on his chest as you sat up. The bathroom was calling you, getting off the bed slowly so as to not wake him, you pull off the gross day-old camisole and panties and grab his shirt off the floor pulling it on over your naked chest before you wandered into the bathroom to do your business. It’s while you’re brushing your teeth that you get an idea. You were going to make him breakfast. Carefully and as quietly as you could you slipped from the bathroom watching him to make sure he didn’t wake up and tip-toe out of the bedroom, heading into the kitchen to get everything you needed out of your cupboards to make cinnamon rolls.

You got to work, it was so easy for you now, you could do everything from muscle memory. Flour, sugar, brown sugar, cinnamon, salt, yeast, milk, butter, and eggs are all you needed. Prep was quick and soon you had a soft dough that you had kneaded to perfection and set aside to rest for a moment as you were getting the cinnamon sugar filling ready. Once that was done you grabbed the dough and started to roll it out into a large square on the counter. Not long after you had started that process, a pair of arms wrapped themselves around your waist from behind. 

“Hmm, didn’t scare you that time, I must be losing my touch.” Eddie chuckled as he placed his chin on your shoulder.

Laughing, you looked over at him dropping a kiss to his cheek before leaning over to grab the butter that you had left out to soften and a knife, scooping up a good glob to spread over the rolled-out dough. “Well, good morning. Sleep well?"

"Absolutely. Cuddling up with a pretty girl? The best sleep ever. Plus I got to wake up to you baking in nothing but my shirt. It's a good morning." He smiled, kissing the side of your neck. "Need any help?"

“Not with this. Think you can handle the coffee?” You eyed him over your shoulder.

“Can I handle the coffee?” He scoffed, before smacking you on the ass as he moved to the pot. “Just watch babe, this is going to be the best cup of coffee you’ve ever had. Oh, it was hot in the room so I opened your windows to get some air. Hope you don't mind."

The only thing he was starting to hate about this apartment was how hot it was getting with summer just on the horizon.

“That's fine.” You chuckled as you got back to work dragging the knife around to spread the butter then added the brown sugar and cinnamon to the dough using your hands to spread it evenly. Moving to your sink, you do a quick scrub of your hands, drying them on a towel before you start rolling the dough into a long cylinder, grabbing the little plastic pack of unflavored floss you rip off a good strip and push it under the dough, carefully cutting it into 12 little rounds, before placing them evenly into the pan you had previously greased. Placing a clean towel over them you backed away. "Those need to rise for about an hour."  

To make it easier on yourself later you mill about your kitchen cleaning up the mess, wiping down the counter, putting bowls and utensils in the sink to wash, and throwing away the bit of floss and other trash. You felt him watching you the entire time. "I hope you like cinnamon rolls."

“Love cinnamon rolls. Don't worry about the dishes. I got 'em.” He said as he finished the coffee prep and turned it on to brew. He waved you away as you started washing, physically moving you by placing his hands on your waist.

“No, it’s okay. Most of these are from yesterday anyway.” You laughed shaking your head but let him move you.

“You just took the time to make us cinnamon rolls from scratch. I can do the dishes, I don’t care how long they’ve been sitting there.” With his hands on your waist, he lifted you up with ease placing you on the counter by the sink, his hands caging you in as he placed them by your thighs on the counter pushing your legs apart to stand between them. “Now you sit your pretty ass here while I get these dishes done.”

You playfully glared at him and gave him a little salute. “Yes, sir.” You said with slight sarcasm. Yelping a little as he slapped your thigh with just enough force to get his point across. 

“You were being so good. Don't make me punish you this early in the morning.” He said with a smirk and narrowed eyes as he moved away to clean up the dishes in your sink.

“So I realized that I never actually asked this,” You said, with a giggle pulling a thread at the hem of his shirt. “But why aren’t you guys on the road right now? It’s been months of you guys just living in the bar.”

“Well, we had just finished a world tour and all agreed that it was time for a break. We've pretty much been nonstop since we got big. Wanting to kinda play catch up with all the big names, never wanting to be the problem band, we just kept saying yes to anything they threw at us and never really stopped. It was a lot of tours, albums, interviews, and music videos. Then we bought the bar about four years into this weird fame we had found ourselves in. Then there was all the construction, permits, paint colors, wood flooring, and all of that to deal with. It was just a lot. But Gareth was getting married, Jeff and Lizzy wanted some time to just be a couple, Brandon had that family reunion he wanted to go to and I was just burnt out.” Eddie said as he scrubbed at a bowl. “Just needed some time to decompress and be normal for a while. Ya know?” 

You nodded in understanding. You were thankful for this little break, you would have never met him if it didn’t happen. “I get that.”

The two of you sat in comfortable silence as you watched him finish the dishes and dried his hands on a towel. He moved towards you caging you in again as he leaned in for a kiss. “You’re beautiful you know that. Bedhead and all.”

You giggle as you wrap your arms around his neck placing your forehead against his. Your legs wrapped around his boxer-clad hips pulling him closer to you. “So are you. Prettiest boy I’ve ever seen.”

Eddie smiled, “How long did you say those cinnamon rolls would need to rise?” 

“About an hour and that was maybe ten, fifteen minutes ago... We have a bit of free time. Why?”

His smile turned into a smirk as he grabbed your waist and flipped you over his shoulder holding onto the backs of your thighs with a firm grip as he took you back to your room. It’s not the first time he’s done this but you’re amazed every time that he can hold your weight. ”I wanna have a little fun with you.”

Laughing, you risk the chance of punishment and reach down along his naked ink-covered back, giving his ass a good slap before he can deposit you on your bed. You bounced on the mattress when he threw you down gently. You love how he can just manhandle you like that. 

“That was cute. But that's your one.” He said, holding up a finger with a smirk. “Next time you're getting your ass beat with my belt. I know how much you hate that.” 

You pouted at him which just made him chuckle before he pounced on you practically ripping his shirt in the process of getting it off of you.

“Good morning ladies,” He said to your breasts as he cups them in his large hands, his thumb and index fingers squeezing your nipples into little erect buds in greeting. 

You moaned a little when he brought his plush lips to one of your nipples, his tongue swirling around it. You found your hands on his hair and you were surprised when he let you stay there. He usually pinned your arms down but you weren't going to complain if he just let you hold on to him. A whine left your lips when he bit into the soft flesh using his tongue to soothe the abused bud. You huffed as he switched to the other side, never one to leave all his attention on only one of his favorite things for too long. You felt the heat start to simmer in your belly as little shots of pleasure went straight to your core. You needed him. Bad. “Oh... Sir please.” 

“Nuh-uh,” Eddie said popping his mouth off your breast before he crawled up over you a bit to be face-to-face with you. “No, Sir today. Today, I'm just Eddie. I like hearing you call my name.” 

“Eddie,” You sighed as you ran your hands through his hair bringing him closer to you so you could kiss him. “Eddie. Fuck me. Please? I need you. Please.”

“Shit baby,” He laughed as he kissed the tip of your nose. “When you beg so pretty like that how can I not?”

You smiled up at him as he leaned back straddling your waist for a moment before he moved off you to remove his boxers and toss them on the floor. You laid back on your bed getting comfortable as he pulled open the drawer of your nightstand where he has stashed away some condoms. Looking over at him you licked your lips as you watched him pump his fist up and down his length a few times before you held your arms open for him. “Come here, big boy.”

He smiled at you as he climbed onto the bed again laying next to you, placing the condom on your stomach as a way to tease you, a promise that it will be used, before pulling you close with the arm that slipped under your shoulders, letting his free hand caress and grip your tits, going back to abusing your nipples before moved his hand up and he ran his thumb across your bottom lip. “Open up for me, Princess.”

You obeyed, your lips parting as your bottom jaw dropped down so Eddie could shove his fingers into your mouth, your tongue getting to work, twirling and licking at the digits for a few moments before he moved them down where you wanted them most. You huffed a little laugh as he swung one of his legs over yours and pulled it towards him so he could easily get between your thighs.

Widening the space for him you hummed at the first touch of his wet fingers against your folds, he stayed there for a moment just letting his fingers play and collect the slick that was starting to drip from you. He could play you like a fiddle at this point. He was the only one that could get you this wet this fast, whatever magic he used you prayed to whoever was listening that he never stopped using it.

“Gotta get you ready,” He mumbled into your skin as he kissed your forehead. “Don’t want to hurt you now do I pretty girl?”

You shook your head as your hands reached up to pull his face down to your lips so you could kiss him as he pushed his now-soaked fingers into you, pushing and pulling in and out until he felt you relax into his touch. His lips caught your moans as he kissed you, his tongue invading the space between your lips to dance with your own. 

Eddie took his time, working you open and winding you up until he was satisfied and he pulled away, carefully laying you back against your rumpled bedding as he kissed his way down your body to settle between your legs. Grasping his cock in one hand he tore open the condom package with his teeth and rolled the latex down his shaft, rubbing the tip of it against your wet pussy, coating the rubber with your slick before he settled it at your entrance and gently pushed in. 

Your back arched as he settled inside of you letting you get accustomed to how full he was made you feel. God, he always felt so fucking good. His hands grabbed your hips as he started to move his hips thrusting slowly as he watched your face, the look of complete ecstasy on your features was enough to make him cum right then. But he wanted to draw this out a bit. 

It was the slowest, softest, sex you’ve ever had with him and you loved it. You loved the tie me up, tie me down, tease me, and make it rough sex but this was like a breath of fresh air for you both as you just enjoyed the feeling of other, but you needed more. You rolled your hips and clenched down on him making him grunt as his hips stuttered a little. “Careful baby, keep doing that and this’ll end sooner than we want.”

“I want you to cum.” You moaned as his tip hit that spot that made you melt. “Wanna feel it. Eddie, baby, please. Faster. Want you to cum for me..”

“Jesus fuck,” He muttered as he leaned over you capturing your lips with his. One arm braced against the bad as he leaned over you while the other drifted down to play with your clit. Circling that little bud just the way you liked, the way that made your hips buck up against him causing him to go just a little deeper. 

“Eddie!” You whined, a little too loudly, as he played with you. You were being pushed closer and closer to that edge but he was dragging it out driving you crazy.

“Shhh,” Eddie said with a chuckle. “Not so loud baby, your windows are open. Do you want all your customers to hear what a good girl you're being for me?”

You shook your head, no you didn't want them to hear you. You wouldn't be able to look them in the eye if they did.

“Then you have to be quiet,” Eddie smirked, dropping kisses and little nips to your neck. “Only I get to hear you fall apart. You're my good girl, yeah?”

You nodded a small uh huh falling from your lips.

“I want you to-oh shit- say it.” He said as he sped up, the tip of him continuously hitting that perfect spot in you, driving you higher and higher as he went faster and faster. “Say-say you’re my good girl.”

“I-I’m your good girl,” You gasped out, your back arching off the bed as the coil inside you twisted so tightly it was about to break. Just saying those words almost made you lose it. You were so fucking close. “Gonna cum. Shit. F-fuck. Eddie. Eddie!”

“Go on baby, cum for me. Cum all over me.” Eddie moaned, burying his face into the spot between your shoulder and neck and biting down on it to cover his own groans of pleasure when you both fell together. The feeling of his dick twitching inside you filling the condom up with his warmth made you slap your hand over your mouth to cover your loud moaning as you convulsed under him, your hips rolling as he continued to thrust brokenly, both of you riding out your highs. "Oh fuck. That's it. That's my girl. Such a good fucking girl for me baby."

Your hand slipped from your lips and you buried it in his hair as his forehead fell to your sternum. His name whispered into the air like a prayer. His weight on you felt amazing and all you wanted to do was stay like this forever. Both of you groaned as Eddie pulled out of you so he could get comfortable laying down between your legs. For a few minutes, it was quiet between you two, just the sounds of the outside and your heavy breathing, but Eddie’s muffled voice broke through the silence and made you look down at him. “What?”

He looked up at you then, nervousness clear in his eyes, you didn’t like that. Eddie wasn’t nervous, he was cocky and charming, but not nervous. Taking your hand in his he kissed the back of it and pulled it to his chest. “Be my girlfriend?”

A bright smile spread across your features as you grabbed his face pulling him up to kiss him. Pushing your forehead against his you nod as a laugh left you. “Yes, absolutely yes!” 

The smile on Eddie’s face was enough to make your heart beat faster in your chest. “My girl.”

“My boy.” You whisper as you rub your nose against his. “We should get up baby. I have cinnamon rolls to make you.”

“Oh fuck yeah!” Eddie whooped as he sat up on his knees pulling you with him. “I got myself a girl that can cook! Shit, I’m gonna have to start running or something and I hate running.”

Laughing, you push him away from you a little as you got situated on the edge of the bed, you bite your lip as you watch him walk to the bathroom to get rid of the condom and grab a washcloth for you. Your head was cocked to the side as you not so subtly stared at his still naked form. Your hot-ass rockstar dom boyfriend. 

“Whatcha staring at babe?” Eddie smirked as he walked back to you washcloth in hand. Pushing your torso back onto the bed he chuckled as he opened your legs to clean you up.

“Just my super sexy boyfriend.” 

“Super sexy?”

“The sexiest.” You smile, letting him wipe you down before he helps you back up and you move toward your dresser to grab some clean underwear and clothes. Eddie was by your side in an instant after tossing the washcloth in the bathroom and opening the drawer you had cleared out for him a month ago so he could grab some of his own clean clothes. He was at your place enough you felt it right for him to have his own space.

Once dressed you kiss his shoulder as you walked by and head into the kitchen to finish up those cinnamon rolls. Preheating the oven and grabbing two mugs from your cabinet and pouring the coffee for you and Eddie. Setting his on the counter for him as he came out and smiled at you while you fix up yours the way you like. Taking a sip of the brew you made a noise as the oven beeped telling you it was ready. Placing your mug down you grabbed the tray of cinnamon rolls and opened the oven shoving the treat into the hot cavern and closed the door. Setting a timer you grab your mug again and lean on the island counter to enjoy that buzz of the coffee and the afterglow of a good orgasm. 

Soon the scent of cinnamon was filling your apartment as you placed your mug down to start on the cream cheese frosting. Whipping that up quickly you laughed as Eddie walked up behind you, leaning around to grab a finger full of the topping, and chuckled when you go to slap his hand away but miss and the icing-covered finger popped into his mouth. A shocked laugh left you. “Eddie!”

He smirked and kissed your cheek making an obnoxious sloppy kiss noise that made you laugh more. Chuckling, he backed away to let you work but his eyes never left you. You. His girlfriend, his sub, god he loved you. He had no problem admitting it to himself but god help him if he had to say it out loud, it was too soon. But he’s known for months how he felt. Smiling to himself he took a sip of his coffee and looked at the timer as it beeped. “I got it.”

“Thank you,” You smiled as you finished up the icing and smiled at him. Soon the rolls were covered in sticky icing and both of you had a plate of the warm gooey treat. Taking a seat at your dining table you got comfortable with your legs up on Eddie’s thigh as he rubbed your calf. You licked your fingers clean as you chewed on a piece, a hum of contentedness leaving you. “Damn, I’m good.”

“Oh, so humble.” He smiled as he ate his own piece. 

You stick your tongue at him as your landline started to ring. Wiping your hands on a napkin you carefully moved your legs off Eddie and stood up making your way over to the phone. Picking it up you placed it to your ear. “Hello?”

Eddie turned in his seat so he could watch you but his heart started to thud in his chest when the happy expression on your face fell and he stood up walking over to you in concern. 

“What? Is she okay?” You muttered into the phone, tears starting to collect in your eyes. “I'll leave right no- oh… okay. Well, um. Thank you for letting me know Evelyn. I’ll be by the hospital to see her later today... Bye.”

Taking a deep breath you hung up the phone and stared at the wall for a moment. You thought she was doing better… 

“Baby?” Eddie asked his hand landing gently on your back. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

“Nana’s been sick.” You sniffled looking around, feeling a little lost. “She seemed to be doing okay recently but she was rushed to the hospital last night. But they aren't allowing visitors yet. So I can't see her.”

“Oh baby, I’m so sorry.” He said pulling you to his chest. There goes the peaceful morning you were having. 

You had left a few hours after that phone call the need to see your grandmother was driving you crazy. That was a few days ago and he hadn't seen much of you but Eddie understood. Your grandmother was important to you, he wasn't about to get mad about the lack of attention. Steve even took a few days off. You and Steve needed to be there for her. He just hoped for your sake she was gonna stick around for a little longer.

Eddie stood leaning back against the bar counter cleaning a glass, barely listening to Gareth as he told him about an idea he had for the next campaign when the phone rang bringing him out of his thoughts. Sighing he put the cup down and flipped the rag in his hand over his shoulder, holding up at hand to get Gareth to quiet down, before he grabbed the phone. "Hellfire."

“May I speak to Mr. Munson please?” An older tired female voice cracked over the line. He could hear beeping and other noises in the background. 

Narrowing his eyes Eddie braced his empty hand on the counter. “Speaking.”

“Mr. Munson my name is Margaret Y/L/N. I'm Y/N and Steve’s grandmother.” She coughed then making Eddie stand up straight a tingle going down his spine. Why would your grandmother be calling him?

“Are you alright?” He asked concerned, that cough didn’t sound good.  

“Fine, thank you.” She sighed as she cleared her throat. “I was wondering Mr. Munson, when you get a moment if you could come and meet with me? I have a favor to ask you.”

“What kind of favor?” Eddie asked as he checked his pocket for his keys and wallet. He would go right now if that’s what she wanted. 

“It’s for Y/N.” She said quietly like it was a secret. 

“Is now a good time? I don’t have anything I need to do.”

“That’s perfect actually.” She agreed. “I’m at IU Health University Hospital. Room four, eight, four, nine on the West side.” 

“I’ll leave right now. See you soon.” Eddie said as they made quick goodbyes. Looking up at Gareth, he pulled the rag from his shoulder, dropped it on the counter, and moved around the bar quickly, heading towards the front door. “I’m going out.” 

“Everything okay?” Gareth asked as he looked up from the paper he was working on. 

“Yeah. Just something I gotta do. Don't destroy the place while I’m gone, ya?” 

“No promises,” Gareth yelled back as the front door closed.

“What was that about?” Jeff asked as he peeked his head out of the kitchen.

“No idea.” Gareth shrugged.

Eddie stood in the elevator nervously watching as the number ticked higher until he was at the floor he needed. Fuck he hated hospitals, the overly clean smell assaulted his senses as he walked from the elevator out onto the floor. Looking at the plaques on the wall he was able to find Room 4849 fairly easily. Peeking his head inside he knocked on the door of the room announcing his presence. "Mrs. Y/L/N?"

“You must be Eddie.” Your grandmother said as she looked him over. Assessing him. He scuffed his boot against the linoleum floor feeling like a child in trouble. 

“That would be me.” He nodded, shoving his hand into the pockets of his jeans to keep from fiddling with the rings he had on his fingers. He walked farther into the room and stopped a few feet away from her bed. She was smaller than he imagined, frail, definitely sick. Wires and tubes were attached to her chest and arms tracking her vitals as the nasal cannula supplied her air. But she was still the same woman in all your photos. The person you loved the most. “It's nice to finally meet you. Y/N talks about you a lot. I see where she gets her good looks from.” 

“I can see why she likes you.” Nana smiled as she pointed to the chair next to her bed. “You're quite the charmer. She talks about you too you know. I know all about the great Eddie Munson the rockstar.” 

He chuckled as he took the seat, getting as comfortable as he could in this uncomfortable situation he found himself in. “I'm not that great.”

“I see fame hasn't gone to your head. That's a plus.” She laughed a bit, turning her head to cough. Clearing her throat she looked over at him. “Now I'm sure you're wondering why I asked you here.”

“That did cross my mind.” He nodded with a smile as his leg started to bounce. 

She sat in silence for a moment before she took a breath and looked over at him with sad tired eyes. “I'm dying, Mr. Munson. There's no reason to hide it. I'm scared that after I’m gone my son will use it as a way to get Y/N to do what he wants. And he'll start by taking away one of the things she loves the most.”

“The bakery…” He knew it instantly. You loved that place. It was your heart and soul. You worked so hard to keep it running like a well-oiled machine. It made his blood boil just thinking about it being taken away from you. 

“The bakery.” Nana nodded, coughing a little as she took a deep breath. “Now Y/N owns the company but I own the building that Sugar Cloud is in… My grandchildren tell me you own a bar. So you know something about property management.” 

“I do,” He nodded. 

“Mr. Mun-Eddie. Is it alright if I call you Eddie?” When he nodded with a quiet ‘please do’, she continued. “I would like to sell you the building the bakery is in. My only request is that you allow Y/N to continue to work and live there.” 

Blinking, Eddie sat up straight, confusion settled on his features. Sell him the building? “Why me? Why not just let Y/N have it?” 

“One thing you need to learn right now if you are going to be in Y/N’s life is the fact that my son is a selfish bastard. If something doesn't benefit him he wants nothing to do with it. He hates the bakery and always has. It's something Y/N has that he can't control and if given the opportunity he will sell it out from under her and she will lose everything. But if someone outside of the family owns the building he can't touch it.” 

“Should we tell Y/N?”

“That would be up to you. She’ll just offer to buy it from you.”

Eddie nodded his head slowly, the gears turning. It was a no-brainer he would do anything for you and if that meant spending a shit ton of cash to let you keep your home and business then so be it. “I'll do it, I'll buy the building. I’ll tell her at some point. I don’t want her to stress about it right now.” 

She sighed in relief, a small happy smile on her face that quickly turned into one of worry as she looked down at her hands in her lap. “Thank you, Eddie. I worry about what will happen to them, my grandchildren, when I'm gone. Chippy, I'm sorry Steve, can handle himself but he needs support and an understanding ear. Y/N, I'm afraid, will be railroaded by my son. Do not let her be pushed around.”

“I won't.” He shook his head. “I promise. I'll take care of both of them.” 

“I know you will. You are a good friend Eddie. I can see why Y/N loves you.” 

“She loves me?” He gave a surprised chuckle. His heart beat a little faster in his chest.

“You tell her I said anything and I'll deny it,” Nana said, pointing at him with a shaky finger. “I know my Birdie. She loves you. Just give her some time.” 

“I will.” He nodded.

The two of them sat and chatted for a little longer. Just getting a feel for the other, it almost felt like Nana was still sizing him up to see if he was good enough for you. He won her over in the end, even getting her to laugh a few times. Eddie liked your grandmother; she was quick-witted and funny. He was sad that he probably wouldn't see her again after this. He smiled a bit when Nana handed over a piece of paper that had the information for the real estate lawyer that would take care of the transfer of the deed. Eddie put it in his wallet for safekeeping. When he left he took her hand promising once again to take care of you and then he was off.

Giving her a little wave Eddie stepped from the room and headed down the hall, his head in the clouds as he thought about what was going to happen now when he passed an older man and almost knocked into him. “Oh shit, sorry man.” 

“Watch where you’re going!” The man snapped as he fixed his suit jacket. 

Raising an eyebrow at the well-dressed older man, Eddie watched him walk away before he shook his head and went to the elevator. He didn't notice him walk into your grandmother's room. He had almost collided with your father but he brushed the interaction off; he had a guy to call and a building to buy.

Between the bakery and helping your grandmother get comfortable back in her room at your father's home, you didn’t have much time to see Eddie and it made you feel incredibly guilty. You had just started a relationship with him and then you basically vanished off the planet. Steve tells you that Eddie understands and he’s sticking around, all you had to do was call if you needed him and he would be there in minutes. That made your chest bloom with warmth, you loved that man. 

Over the next few days, Nana’s health started to decline even more. The real estate lawyer had called and informed her that Eddie had gone through with his promise and bought the building; knowing that you would be protected in at least one aspect of your life, she was ready. Your grandmother passed away in her sleep two weeks after her talk with Eddie. She went in the comfort of her own room with you and Steve by her side. 

You weren't handling it well. Over the next week, you had thrown yourself into your work, or cleaning your home, or your office, or Eddie’s home, hell you have even washed your car at least three times, anything to keep your mind off the fact that she wasn’t just a phone call or a drive away anymore. And sleep well, that didn’t come easy.

It was the night before the funeral when Eddie rolled over in your bed, his arm reaching out to pull you closer so he could cuddle you. He knew you needed more love now than ever and he was more than willing to give it to you, but when his hand landed on cool sheets he sat up on his elbow looking at the empty space next to him. You had been up for a while it seems. Wiping the sleep from his eyes he looked around the room, you weren't in bed and you weren’t in the bathroom. So where were you? That’s when he noticed light coming from under the closed bedroom door and pushed the blankets off his legs so he could go to you. The closer he got to the door the more he could hear what was happening on the other side. You were crying. 

Frowning, Eddie opened the door slowly so as to not startle you and moved into the dining room so he could comfort you. A cup of water was in your hand as you sat at the dining room table the only light coming from the kitchen, giving him some way to see you. “Oh, baby. How long have you been up?”

Sniffling you shrugged, “I don't know. I’m so tired but I can’t sleep.”

You looked up at him with watery red eyes as he placed a hand gently on your back rubbing it softly as more tears ran a familiar path down your cheeks. Your face crumbled when he moved a lock of hair from your face. In a stuttering whisper, you muttered, “I m-miss her so m-much.” 

“I know, sweetheart,” He shushed you as he wrapped you up in his arms letting you cry into his stomach as you clutched onto his sides. “I know. I'm so sorry.”

He let you cry a little longer just holding you as you sobbed, leaning down to kiss the crown of your head every once in a while. After a while he reached his hand out and grabbed the cup of water leaning back a bit so he could see you better he offered you the cup. “Drink some of this baby.”

With a stuttering breath, you leaned back wiping your face with your hands before you carefully took the glass and brought it to your lips, taking slow steady sips. His hand went to the back of your head his nimble fingers massaging your scalp a little to soothe you. Once you were done he took the glass from you, placed it on the table, and helped you up. “I know it’s hard but you have to try and sleep baby. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.” 

“I know,” You nodded and let him guide you back into bed before he left again to turn out the kitchen light and he was back quickly. He slid in next to you, pulled the covers up to your chin, and wrapped his arms around you again getting you comfortable enough to hopefully sleep. Quietly he started to hum, it was a song you recognized and just the sound of his voice was enough to lull you to sleep as he started to sing under his breath. 

“You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you…”

The morning came too soon and it brought the annoying sound of your alarm blaring into existence. Groaning you rolled over practically throwing your clock against the wall to shut it up. You felt Eddie’s arms tighten around you as he kissed the back of your neck. Sighing, you looked over your shoulder at him. “We have to get up. Need to grab Steve and Robin on the way to the church.”

Eddie nodded and let you go so you could get ready. He watched as you got off the bed looking more tired than you did last night as you staggered to the bathroom. Wiping his hand down his face he looked over to the window that faced out onto the street and sighed before he got up. He knew there wasn’t much he could do but be here for you but he wished he could take your heartbreak away. Moving to the closet he pull out the nice suit and tie that he had brought with him for the funeral. When you asked him to come he didn’t hesitate to say yes. He knew you would need him today, Steve was bringing Robin for support so it was only fair that you bring him. Plus he promised Nana that he would take care of both you and Steve. Placing the suit on your bed he moved back to the closet and pulled out the black dress you were planning on wearing and placed it on the bed next to his suit. 

He looked up at you as you walked out of the bathroom a few minutes later looking a little more put together with your hair and makeup done in a subtle but pretty way. Walking up to you he cupped your cheek and gave a peck to your nose before he traded spaces with you leaving you to get dressed as he went to the bathroom to get ready. Once he was freshly shaved and his hair pulled into a bun at the back of his head he wandered back into the bedroom to see you sitting on the bed in your pretty black dress, putting your black heels on. The same heels you wore to the bar on New Year's. Eddie dressed quickly, letting you straighten his tie once it was around his neck so it gave you something to do rather than just sit there idly. Grabbing his keys and wallet off your dresser he turned to you. “I’ll drive okay?”

You nodded and took his hand letting him lead you to the front door and down to the empty kitchen. You had closed the shop today, not in the mood to deal with the hustle and bustle of the normally busy bakery. He held the back door open letting you out first and closed it behind him locking it with the spare key you had given him. Leading you to his car he opened the door for you, helping you in, and putting your seatbelt on for you like he always did. He was in the driver's seat in a flash and soon you were both on the road to Hellfire to pick up Steve and Robin before you were back on the highway towards Indianapolis to say goodbye to your grandmother.

You went through the motions at the church greeting and thanking all the people that came to say goodbye to your grandmother. You wanted to cry, but at this point, you weren't sure you had enough water in your system to produce them so you stood there stoically between your father and Steve when all you wanted to do was sit with Eddie and let him hold you. You felt your father seething silently next to you, he wasn’t happy with you. The look on his face, when you introduced Eddie, was one of anger and recognition. They had seen each other before. But you didn’t know where. You tried not to let it bother you but the curiosity was eating you up inside. You glanced over at Eddie to see him give you a small wave. You gave a sad little smile back.

Eddie was watching you from the pew he sat in with Robin, she was fiddling with her hands, she hated funerals but she was here to support Steve and you. His eyes moved over the line of your family greeting everyone as they entered. He recognized your father as the guy he almost ran into that day at the hospital when he met with your grandmother and he knew by the look on your father's face that he was pissed. Eddie being there threw some kind of wrench in his little game with the Malloys and that didn’t sit well. His eyes moved around the church until they stopped on Peter Malloy. The man was shocked when you introduced Eddie as your boyfriend and the handshake he received was one that showed his frustrations. He expected to see Peter staring at you but instead, he was glaring at Eddie. Eddie narrowed his eyes at Peter almost daring him to start something. But he wouldn’t. He knew that. This wasn’t the time and place for a fight, he wouldn’t embarrass the families like that. 

Soon it was time for the funeral to start, both you and Steve joined him and Robin in the pew, you tucking yourself under Eddie’s arm. Your father looked over at you with narrowed eyes before he turned around and the priest started to speak. You felt Eddie squeeze your shoulder in reassurance, with him here your father wouldn’t say shit to you, he would make sure of it.

The funeral was progressing as planned, the priest spoke, saying kind words and prayers, family, friends, and people you didn’t know all got up one by one to talk about what a lovely person your grandma was. With every person, your eyes narrowed until you just closed them and leaned into Eddie more, you were positive Nana didn’t even like half the people here. If any more of these fake ass people told you ‘I'm sorry for your loss’ one more time you were going to lose it. Throughout the entire funeral, you didn’t look at the casket. You couldn't. It would make it real. 

The church part of the funeral ended and you watched as Steve and a few of the other men in your family, your father included, carried the coffin out into the waiting hearse before you were all ushered into your cars to follow it to the cemetery. Your stepmother waved you towards the limo they had rented but you shook your head and walked back to Eddie’s car, you weren't going to step foot in that car, your father was already mad at you, and you didn’t want to give him the space to yell at you. Not today. With the four of you now back in Eddie’s car, Steve refused the limo as well, you followed the hearse to the cemetery. The rest of the day goes on without a hitch and you had to admit you always thought the spot your grandparents chose to be buried was beautiful. There was a nice big tree that covered them in shade, and a pretty stone bench right under it, plus the view was beautiful, you could see right into the heart of the city. At night all those lights would look magical. 

You had barely paid attention to anyone that wasn’t Eddie, Steve, or Robin all day, and when you finally looked up your eyes quickly caught on Peters. Why the Malloys were here you didn’t know. Your grandmother wasn’t a fan of them. She didn’t like this game your father was playing and she made it known. But Peter was glaring at Eddie. How long had he been doing that? Did he think you bringing Eddie was some sort of slight against him? A way to show that you were indeed not interested in him? If so good. Maybe he’ll get it and continue to leave you alone. You looked up at Eddie as he passed you a rose to put on Nana’s coffin and as the line of mourners went by you waited until you were one of the last people to put your flower with the others. Your hand found Eddie’s as he walked with you and together you placed your roses. “Goodbye Nana.”

There was to be a reception with food and drinks at your father's house after the funeral, but all you wanted was to just go back to Hellfire and have a drink; forget today ever happened but you also knew your father would have a fit. So Eddie convinced you to go just to save yourself the ear full you would get over the phone. As you pulled up into the large driveway you looked over at Eddie as he whistled. “Damn, this is your house?”

“My dads but yeah,” You nodded as you got out of the car. “This is where I grew up.”

“It’s so fancy,” Robin said as she looked around giving Steve a little smile. “Why isn’t your parent's house this fancy?”

“Have you seen Hawkins? This would look like a castle out there.”

Taking Eddie’s hand again you pointed to the left side of the house towards the backyard as the four of you walked up the front steps. “My old room is on that side of the house. You can see the entire backyard from it.”

“I would love to see it,” Eddie smirked as he pulled you close. “Wanna see all the New Kids on the Block posters you have on those walls.”

“Oh, those are long gone.” You chuckled a little, your first laugh in days. “Replaced them with a better band.”

“Oh?” Eddie smiled, he had missed your laugh. “Got posters of a cool new band up there?”

“Mhm!” You nodded. “My favorite band… The Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Dave Navarro is so hot. I was so sad when he left.”

Eddie practically fell over his hand on his heart. “Please say sike…”

Sticking your tongue out at him you opened the door and ushered them in. “You know I love Corroded Coffin. So hush.”

“You are just asking for a spanking baby,” Eddie muttered in your ear as he walked by you. You hadn’t been in the best headspace to play and whenever you tried to initiate it, Eddie had gently pushed you into just cuddling. You were upset at the time but after a long talk with Eddie about it, you understood and appreciated it. He was always looking out for you. 

“Maybe,” You shrugged. “Keep that in your back pocket for a little while.”

“Oh, I will.” He nodded with a smile at you. “I got a tally going.”

“Fuck.” You mutter as you walk into the house. You needed a drink. 

You were successful in avoiding your father and the Malloys for most of the reception but that came to an end when your dad found you speaking with an old friend of Nana’s. Eddie had wandered off to find a bathroom leaving to speak with the lady. “Mrs. Anderson, thank you for coming.”

“Thank you for inviting me.” The older woman said as she gave him a little smile. “Your mom was such a lovely person.”

“She really was.” He nodded with a sad smile. “Would you mind if I stole my daughter for a moment?”

“Of course not.” She shook her head and gave your arm a pat. “I’m sorry for your loss dear.”

“Thank you.” You said and she waddled away, your dad's hand came up and gripped your elbow tightly. Keeping your arm close to him so no one would see he ushered you quickly into the library, closing the door behind you sighed as you pulled your arm away from him. “What?”

“Is this some kind of joke?”

“Excuse me?” You asked looking at him with confusion. 

“Bringing that man with you?” Your father's face was completely red at this point. You knew he was pissed but to yell at you at the reception with all these people around who could hear? He was being bold. “Did you do this to just rub it in Peter's face?”

“On today of all days, you’re worried about Peter?” You snapped, “I’m sorry if my boyfriend, who is here to support me, has thrown your plans out the window. What? Did you expect me to just fall all over Peter in grief?”

“I expected you to behave better.” He snarled. “You’ve barely spoken to the Malloys and I have been fielding questions all day about the two-bit rockstar my daughter brought with her. I know who he is! I saw him on those posters you had in your room!”

“He’s not a two-bit rockstar!” You hissed. “He’s an award-winning musician and a great fucking person, who by the way has shown me more love and care about Nana dying than you have!” 

“Is that it? Is this some way to get back at me? You think I don’t care about how you’re feeling so you whore yourself out to the first man that looks your way?”

“Hey!” 

Your head snapped to the left to see that the library door had been opened and Eddie stood there looking pissed with Steve and Robin behind him. You breathed a sigh of relief and practically ran to him when he held his hand out to you. “Babe... it’s okay...”

“No, it’s not okay,” He muttered, shaking his head, making sure you understood that fact before he turned to your father, pushing you behind him.

"Excuse me but this is a private conversation between my daughter and myself."

"I don’t give a fuck about your conversation. You could be the goddamn Queen of England for all I care and I'll still interrupt you cause you don't talk to people like that. And you sure as shit don’t get to talk to her like that.”

“Eddie, baby, let’s just go… please?” You ask putting your hand on his shoulder. You just wanted to get out of there.

“Yeah, okay.” He nodded with a glare to your father before he turned around and pulled you close making sure you were okay as the four of you walked to the front door and out of the house towards home. 

“Oscar,” Your father said as he glared at the spot you were all just standing at. 

“Yes, Sir?” Oscar asked as he came around the door frame, he was never too far from your father in case something was needed. 

“I need you to do some digging.” He muttered as he looked over at him. “Find me anything and everything you can on Eddie Munson. He’s in the way and I need him gone.”

“Yes, Sir,” Oscar said with a nod as he pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. He had work to do.

Tag List:

@eddiesprincess86 @haylaansmi

[maddy-ferguson]

Is it just me or do some Bylers reach way too hard to defend Mike for things he was objectively wrong for? Like the rink o mania thing is a perfect example, Will was not being bitchy (onscreen) at all to Mike until the argument where Mike was the one who started it by blaming Will for not telling him about El’s problems. Mike was being a huge asshole there, which even he noticed and said Will didn’t deserve the way Mike treated him. He then apologized and Will accepted it because Will knows that Mike was genuinely remorseful and that he wanted to be best friends again. I hate to say this bc 99% of the time it is deeper than it looks but for this I just don’t get how you can watch and think Will was actually in the wrong.

i do enjoy a good reach and i get not wanting one character to be 100% in the right and one character to be 100% in the wrong in an argument and i don't even think mike was 100% in the wrong at rink o mania but when you back up a bit...what did will do wrong exactly lol.

do we agree with mike that he was a douche for...not telling him that el was being bullied? nonsensical. he didn't even know she was lying to him before the airport.

was he wrong for barely talking and basically sabotaging the whole day? a day el said was supposed to be about the two of them, making will third wheel and feel like shit just like in the beginning of season 3 and for months before that? right...because that makes sense.

was will in the wrong for not calling mike and for making it sound like it was his fault they didn't keep in touch? this one i can get behind but he would have let that go (the painting being a welcome gift doesn't scream resentful) had mike not made it clear that he wasn't interested in anything he had to say by...rejecting his hug, agreeing to the whole day being about him and el, ignoring him save for the vomit green joke, And not calling for months. if the first three hadn't occurred maybe will wouldn't have felt the need to defend himself when mike started a fight because he didn't tell him his gf was being bullied like he's their couples counselor or something

it's like you said mike literally starts the fight and then deflects (twice) and Then he apologizes...idk!

long-winded answer but how exactly was will being a dick lol. i know he apologizes for being mean to him and for pushing him away in the van scene but when exactly on march 22, 1986 was will mean to mike. i can see the pushing him away because he didn't call but he said he deserved the fight and admitted to being a jerk to el (literally HOW. when) and wouldn't let lucas apologize to him in season 3 so i'm not taking his self-deprecating martyr word for it SORRY

it's especially funny when you remember that mike trying to call will is a THEORY

[gregorio-makes-art]

My thoughts on ninjago ships!

Just finished dragons rising and wanted to give my thoughts on the ships cuz that’s what holds my attention the most lol. I have both canon ships and fanon ships that i see a lot.

Nya/Jay

I literally love them with all my heart! They work so well together! All of their little interactions just make my heart happy. Their dancing in prime empire, their fist date in season 1, Jay’s proposal, and every other little thing. They are the the best ninjago ship in my opinion, but they are not perfect. I fucking hate the love triangle in season 3! It is so stupid. It comes out of nowhere! I, in general, hate love triangles but this is the worst. Not only was it entirely unnecessary, but it makes all three characters look bad. It makes Nya look indecisive, jay look hella whiny, and Cole look like a jack ass who only wants Nya so that Jay can’t have her. Back to the positives tho. I think the shows writing is at its best when their ship is a focal point. For a long time, sky bound was my favorite season( I know I know). It often gets a lot of flack for the ending, but that is one of my favorite parts. The idea that after all is said and done, only the two of them get to remember this massive Journey makes it all the more special. It’s about them, for them, and only they get to remember it. Seabound quickly took the top spot as soon as I started it(I honestly don’t know if this is a hot take or not, but Nya’s character arc was just so good!). The finale made me sob so uncontrollably, it was a little scary. Jay not getting a real goodbye was so heartbreaking. Seeing how content Jay was after they saved her despite the fact that he was actively being sent to prison is the kind of love I want!

Zane/Pixal

What can I say other than the fact that they are perfect. I mean they literally share a heart for Christ’s sake! If anything, they are to perfect and can be a bit boring, but that is barely a complaint. I will say that I didn’t like how long Pixal was trapped in Zane’s head, but other than that I love them. That scene in Compatible was so unnecessary but so fucking good!

Kai/Skylor

I really like them together. They don’t have enough screen time together which makes it heard for their relationship to develop. Honestly, Skylor in general is underdeveloped. She should have just joined the main cast after season 4. They have good chemistry, have cute little interactions, and are adorable to watch. I just wish she was around more. I was hoping that something more would happen with them by the end of crystallized but nothing really happened. I hope she comes back for dragons rising and has a good storyline, and hopefully some resolution with Kai.

Lloyd/Harumi

No. Fucking no. I hate Harumi. This ship is so dumb in the context of the show. Let me stop now before this turns into a whole rant ( a Harumi rant is for another day).

Lloyd/Akita

I’m actually very fond of these two. I will admit that they don’t get to spend enough time together, but it is still really cute! I hope they find each other again in dragons rising.

Cole/Vania

While I think Cole is definitely queer coded, still find these two cute. Maybe Cole is bi? I also like the idea that Vania is non-binary. Very cute together and I hope that they are endgame

Misako/Garmadon

What can I say? I’m a sucker for these two. They are cute old people who admittedly have a LOT of issues to work through.

Misako/Wu

No. Just no. I honestly hate wu and the idea of him and Misako being a thing is weird. It is wrong on both parts. Just all around stop.

Non/Questionably Canon

Any combo of Kai/Jay/Zane/Cole/Lloyd

While there is nothing inherently wrong with shipping these characters, it just gives me the ick. The fact that they all call each other brothers makes it weird. And it’s different with Nya cuz it’s not like Jay calls her his sister. And shipping any of them with Lloyd is icky for the obvious age reasons, I mean they literally knew him as a 10 year old. But while I don’t like any of these ships, Cole/Kai is the least upsetting.

Pythor/Aspheera

They are funny I guess, but pythor is def gay.

Pythor/Skales

Skales is an honest man and a loving husband who would never cheat on Selma thank you very much!

Wu/Faith

I can 100% see it. There is obviously an age difference. But maybe if faith comes back as an older women after some weird time thing related to the merge or something, then it could definitely work.

Dareth/Gayle Gossip

They are cute I guess, but they are beyond an afterthought

Ronin/Nya

Gross. Just stop

Dareth/Ronin

I can’t explain it, but I love them so much! It’s just hilarious and makes me laugh. It’s cute too.

Kruncha/Nuckal

They have been a married couple for 1000 years. They know each other so we’ll and complete each other. Perfect. 100%

That’s all I have. If you have any other ships that I didn’t mention or a ship you would like me to expand on them let me no.

[animemocha]

Tobio Kageyama: The King of the Court (Essay)

One of the most exciting concepts in Haikyuu is something set up in its 4th season. The concept that certain athletes are just born to play volleyball. Players that feel like they need to be on the court just to survive. The concept of the monster generation.

Of the 6 members of the monster generation, one stands out in particular. A player of unmatched skill, but also someone who fails to treat others with any respect. A player that is shunned by his own team.

Tobio Kageyama is undoubtedly one of the most talented players in Haikyuu, and yet despite his immense skill, we’re reminded time and time again of his shortcomings, of his failure.

So what happens when this tyrant king is dethroned? Does he crumble under defeat, or rise again transformed?

Wait wait wait wait wait. Let’s quickly get something out of the way because it will save me so much wo- I mean because it’s important to the story! Yeah… Let’s go with that.

The words “Genius” and “Monster”.

According to the show, a “Genius” is someone born with a supreme talent for volleyball.

A “Monster” is someone that realises this talent to become a truly world-class player.

Therefore the “Monster Generation” is a collection of these world-class players.

Now then, is Kageyma a genius?

Yes. Without a doubt.

But is he a monster? Welllllll… That’s a tough one. Because he has so so so many flaws.

His journey doesn’t start off on the best path. He had extraordinary talent yes, but lacked a crucial skill that any player needs to be truly great. A skill that’s honestly really basic.

Teamwork.

Volleyball is played with seven players. Good teamwork isn’t optional, it's a necessity. So how can anyone be a genius without this skill? Are we looking at a failed setter in the making? Or the early stages of a monster?

Part I - The Tyrant

Kageyama’s nickname, “King of the Court”, wasn’t just a title. It was a testament to his relentless pursuit of victory, even at the expense of team harmony. 

But what does “King of the Court” mean exactly?

Sure, we know it was given to him because he played volleyball like a tyrant. Where his obsession with winning overshadowed his responsibilities to his teammates. A style of play that said, “It’s about me”.

Let’s compare Kageyam’s initial phase with his old teammate, and current captain of Aoba Johsai, Oikawa Tooru. 

Oikawa, with his charismatic leadership and empathetic setting style, seems to embody the ideal setter. And yet, he himself admits to feeling threatened by Kageyama’s sheer talent. Interesting, isn’t it?

Despite being on a team with a player like this, Kageyama could not have been more different. He constantly berated his teammates for not living up to his standards and for not keeping up with him, which lead to him being given the infamous nickname.

He was a tyrannical, egocentric king, who would never settle for anything less than perfection from his teammates, and who disregarded anyone that wasn’t able to keep up with him.

But I mean, be honest. If you were by far the best in your team and everyone around you was dog poo by comparison, you’d get pretty annoyed too.

And you can probably guess what happened next. His teammates lost faith in him and his coaches lamented his wasted potential.

So what did Kageyma do?

Well, he did what any twelve-year-old would do. He never wanted to feel that way again, so after joining Karasuno, he changed.

Part II - The Servant

Kageyama never wanted to feel lonely again. And, he didn’t.

He wanted to make sure his teammates were always there for him. And, they were.

Karasuno are without a doubt the perfect team for Kageyma. They tought him the importance of team work. He learnt to let go of his ego. He became someone that rarely ever criticised his team, giving them the exact sets they wanted.

He did his best to perfect a new quick. Yes, he did it so that he could improve. But he also did it to help his team, to help Hinata. 

So how did he do this exactly? How did he learn to be a more selfless setter?

Well, he went to the person, who in his mind, was already a perfect example of that ideal. 

After this meeting. Kageyama gets a new philosophy.

He learns that he is there in service for his team, not the other way around. It’s his duty to give his teammates the exact sets that they ask for.

He becomes a selfless setter.

Surely that’s a good thing, right?

Well, Kageyama definitely thought so. But that all changed during a certain training camp where he met a certain player.

Atsumu is one of the best high-school setters in the country, and Kageyama knows this. So what does it mean for him, when Atsumu tells him that everything he has been doing is wrong?

Does this mean he’s still a failure? 

This dilemma nags at Kageyama. He’s just been playing with some of the best players in the country, and when he returns to Karasuno, while his teammates are certainly good, there is an obvious difference, and Kageyama notices this, and eventually, he snaps.

Part III - The True King

The problem with what Kageyama has been doing up until now is that he was so afraid of history repeating itself, that he overcompensated. 

He always gave his teammates the exact sets that they wanted, and in doing so, reinforced their bad habits.

He knew he could push them higher, push them further, push them to be better, but that scared him. What if they hated him for it?

And that was his dilemma.

He wants to win, not just for himself, but for his team too. But how does he do this? What if he ended up becoming the old tyrannical king again?

Fortunately for Kageyama, there was someone on the team that knew the value of the King of the Court.

Kageyama had always been egotistical and prideful. But that’s just the nature of a talented athlete. Unfortunately for him, his communication was poor, and it resulted in a rather traumatic past.

But at Karasuno, he was given the greatest weapon a setter could ask for. Not a super fast decoy, or a powerful spiker, or an amazing libero.

What he found at Karasuno was a team that supports him, one that will make sure he was never alone.

Conclusion

So, the question remains, is Kageyama a failed setter?

Well, the answer is not too different from real life.

Humans make mistakes. That’s a given. What’s important is how we learn from them.

In the same way, perhaps Kageyama’s journey to becoming a successful setter is paved with lessons learned from his failures. Perhaps being a so-called “failed setter” is a necessary step towards greatness.

There’s no doubt that Hinata wouldn’t be the player he is without Kageyama. But I’d argue the opposite is also true.

Hinata teaches Kageyama that what he’s been ashamed of, can be something that he can be proud of.

He learns that there will always be mistakes and setbacks, but his teammates will always support him.

And so, he knows exactly the kind of setter he needs to be. It might not be what works for Oikawa, and it might not even be what works for Atsumu.

But, for him, it’s perfect.

And with this, Kageyama goes from a tyrant, to a servant, to a king at last.

psst... if you liked this essay, check out the full video essay on my youtube channel!

- love ya