#warning: looooong and a lot of information

[allastoredeer]

Hello!

I just wanted to stop by to say how much I love your fics, especially "Beyond the Eight Ball" and "Deepest Desires", they're really good. And one of the things I really like about your writing style is your world-building and how you explain how that world works in each AU. You pull the reader into the story without overdoing it, so they can really imagine what you're describing without feeling like a student in a boring lecture.

Do you have any writing advice? Or, if it's not too personal, what would you say is the most difficult thing for you when writing? In my case, when I want to write an important scene that I've already imagined, I find it especially difficult when there's a particular character involved, either because I don't know them well or because I don't like them, but they're important to the story, so I can't change them.

I hope you're having and continue to have a good day. And like I said, your fics are great. I'm really interested to see what Vox (and Lucifer) and Adam do with Alastor in their respective fics.

Thank you so much (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) I reaaalllly love world-building haha XD it's one of my favorite parts of writing new fics/au's.

Oh, I have tons of writing advice! (Been accumlating it for years now XD) You said you like how I explain the world without over-doing it in the story, so I'll start with that!

Here's you're warning now: This is gonna be a looooong post XD

Let's begin!

When it comes to world-building, it's hard to not dump everything you've brainstormed and written into the first chapter--whether it's because you love your world-building and and you're super proud of it, or because you want to make sure the reader understands the world you're introducing them to.

So the advice I'd give about introducing the world to the reader is this: don't be afraid to keep your audience guessing.

By that I mean, introduce the world to your audience slowly. You don't have to rush getting all the details and rules out immediately. In fact, sprinkling them in throughout the chapter will make your writing a lot more engaging and fun to read.

Don't worry about your audience not knowing how the world works, because that's what's going to keep them intrigued.

That doesn't mean to keep them in the dark and never explain anything, but give them pieces of it. Let them form questions about the world. Let them ponder and guess. That's what's going to keep them reading because they're going to want to stick around and find out.

Using "Deepest Desires" (<- fic link for anyone interested) as an example, in the first chapter I didn't have Alastor immediately or outright tell the audience anything about his secondary or any of the other secondaries in the room, because info-dumping all of that outright feels--like you said--being a student sitting through to a boring lecture. It's not engaging. It's a wall of information that's not only getting blasted at you at once, but it's not usually integrated in a natural way.

No character is thinking about all of the exact rules and details of their world while their getting dressed or going to breakfast. They're probably thinking about the things they have planned that day, or if they feel eating cereal or eggs.

In fact, there are times when purposefully leaving information out is better, especially when you're writing fanfic.

I didn't go deep into alphas/betas/omegas right away, because I already tagged my fic as "omegaverse" and anyone who's been in fandom for a while will know exactly what that means. Most omegaverse's follow the same general formula:

alpha's are dominant and aggressive.

omega's are submissive and desirable.

Beta's are...well, I guess they're kinda just the middle-men. The center of a spectrum with the alpha's and omegas on opposite ends of each other.

These are details my audience already assumes will be in the fic, so it's not something I need to highlight.

Here's the first paragraph of "Deepest Desires"

Alastor didn’t realize he was going into heat until he complimented Charlie’s battle plan. He blamed his lack of awareness on the scents slowly filling the old, dusty study Vaggie had refurbished as a war room. They hung in the air as thick and sticky as swamp fog, clinging to his skin like a balmy film. He distracted himself from physically shaking off their pheromones by inhaling the earthy aroma of his tea.

Even if I didn't have Alastor tagged as an omega, the audience can easily assume he is one given that he has heats.

I also bring up scents and pheromones without Alastor outright stating that scents and pheromones can be distracting because they're potent, are based on people's emotions, and he's highly sensitive to them because of his heat (the latter being something you find out later on in the fic).

You're not reading it out of a textbook. You're given this information in a natural way that doesn't feel like you're being spoon-fed. Alastor blames his unawareness on how thick the scents in the air are, to the point it feels like they're clinging to him, which he immediately tries to rectify off by breathing in the smell of his tea.

The signs of Alastor's incoming heat isn't brought up again until 9-10 paragraphs later. And then again after another 9 paragraphs. The details of this omegaverse AU are sprinkled throughout the story. It's woven into the fic through the characters thoughts, interactions, and emotions.

Alastor's not explaining the world, he's living in it.

We're not being told how it works, we're experiencing it through him.

The audience isn't told that Alastor's heat makes him act on the desires of other's, instead they see him interacting with character's in ways he normally wouldn't and then immediately trying to distance himself from them.

The audience isn't outright told that Alastor prioritizes his privacy to an obsessive degree because he can't allow anyone to pick up his scent, they're shown that he only pretends to use the hotel room he was given, that he actually lives in a secret pocket-dimension that's impossible for anyone to find but him, that the only scent in that pocket-dimension is his own, and a vague emphasizes that it needs to be that way.

All in all, it comes down to the tried and true: Show, don't tell.

Don't tell us about the world you've created, show us through the actions, interactions, behaviors, thoughts, and emotions of the characters. It makes the world fill lived in, and not like the author is just ticking off a bunch of works for a world-building/AU checklist.

Of course, there are times when telling works better, like in "Beyond the Eight Ball." (<- fic link)

Normally, I'd use a character interacting with their environment to describe the setting, and their emotions and interactions with other characters to build the world, but in the case of "BtEB" laying out how different Pentagram City had changed, all at once, worked better for the narrative because the audience was supposed to be just as surprised as Alastor was.

Here's an excerpt of that scene:

Pentagram City was gone. Or, the Pentagram City Alastor lived in was gone. The haggard buildings and barbed-wire fences that once made up the Downtown District were overtaken by an agglomeration of tall, irradiating skyscrapers.  Some were high enough to disappear into a canopy of clouds so heavy and bloated they looked in danger of popping themselves on the closest spire. But where they’d usually be a mixture of yellow, brown, and maroon, they were a melting pot of blacks, purples, and pinks, stirred by the myriad of lights pulsing beneath them.  The streets, while normally teeming with sinners, were now completely swollen with thick, milling crowds. Cars were stuck bumper to bumper on the road, horns bellowing while their drivers leaned out of their windows to yell at the people in front of them. Billboards and jumbotrons flashed in every direction, stuck to the sides of buildings, above stop-lights, and on giant, metal structures that lined the edge of the district in a wall of advertisements, newscasts, talks-shows, and logos. There was so much overlapping Alastor couldn’t even tell what they were saying.

In this case, you're getting a barrage of description, but that's because Alastor (the character we're following) is the one who'd been plopped into a Pentagram City that is so massively different that all he can do is stare.

Later, the story goes into more detail about how changed the world is as Alastor explores the new city. We're seeing it all through his eyes, and not being told by an outside force (the author).

It all comes down to the scene and how the character acts/reacts during it, and what it is you--the author--is trying to convey.

TLDR: The best way to introduce your world/world-building is by having your characters interact with it, and don't be scared to sprinkle it in. Allow your readers to form questions. Give them room to be curious, because that curiosity is what keeps them interested.

I'd say the most difficult thing for me while writing is descriptions.

Specifically, describing enviroments.

Ugh, it kills me every time. I have such a hard time describing the way a room looks without it feeling info-dumpy.

But I've found that having the character interact with the room is a great way to help describe it. Instead of saying that the room was dusty, I have the character drag their finger through a layer of dust coating the dresser. Instead of saying the room smelled, I say the character's nose curled when they passed a pile of dirty laundry, or that they fanned the air to get rid of the stench of uneaten, moldy food sitting on the desk. Instead of saying the room is cold, I describe the character shivering and rubbing their arms up and down before walking across the room to shut the window.

Having the characters interact with the room also makes it more engaging to read. And, of course, don't forget to use the 5 senses! Taste, touch, sight, smell, and sound.

And, yeah, I totally get having a hard time writing characters I'm not especially interested in, or know much about.

For that I'd say, make them interesting. Give them flair! They're part of the story for a reason, so their presence has to mean something.

One of the best ways I flesh out characters is by asking questions:

What is the role in the story? Antagonist? Protagonist? Love interest? Side-character?

How important are they to the story? Do they have a huge impact on the events of the story? Or are the a character that just pops in here and there?

What's their backstory? What do they think of themselves? Do they think they're hot shit? Are they insecure? Do they over-compensate? Are they shy? Arrogant? Brash? Timid? And how does all of that impact how they interact with other people?

And, most importantly, the 3Q's (especially in regards to their role in the story):

What does the character want?

Why does the character want this?

What's getting in the way of them getting it?

Using "Just Kiss Already" as an example.

What does Alastor want?

To get rid of the holy energy infecting his body.

2. Why does Alastor want this?

Because the holy energy puts him in constant pain and it's preventing him from using his demonic abilities, which leaves him in a very exposed, and very vulnerable position.

3. What's getting in the way of Alastor achieving this?

Lucifer is the only one who can heal him, but Alastor doesn't trust him, is insecure by just how powerful Lucifer is compared to him (especially due to his current injury) and it too stubborn to ask for help, and thus would rather figure out how to heal himself on his own. But, despite not trusting Lucifer, he's still the only person who can keep Alastor's enemies away, so he concocts a fake-dating plan with Lucifer to keep them off his back, despite having a lot of baggage around relationships, and underestimating how much that might bleed into his latest scheme.

On the flip side, Lucifer:

What does Lucifer want?

To reconnect with Charlie and heal their broken relationship.

2. Why does Lucifer want this?

Because he's lonely, he loves Charlie and wants to be close with her again.

3. What's getting in the way of Lucifer achieving this?

He overcompensates and can't stop seeing Charlie as his "little girl" rather than the full-grown adult that she is. He's awkward and overcompensates when he's with her, which makes Charlie uncomfortable, but gets very jealous and insecure when Alastor fills one of his "fatherly roles," especially when Alastor's advice/help is well received by Charlie. The Charlie he remembers is a framed picture of a little girl hanging in his work-room, and he doesn't know how to connect with this new, grown Charlie who doesn't need her problems solved, just wants his support for her dream to rehabilitate sinners that he doesn't even think highly of--all the while agreeing to a fake-dating scheme with Alastor, his biggest pain in the ass, out of a sense of obligation for Alastor getting hurt on behalf of Charlie's hotel-but also keep an eye on Alastor and make sure he doesn't do anything to hurt Charlie.

I also recommend rewatching the character's scenes to get a feel for their mannerisms and how they interact with the other characters. Sometimes the hardest part of writing a character and hashing out their personality is figuring out how they mesh with the rest of the characters.

Don't shy away from their flaws or insecurities either, even for your fav character (especially when it comes to your fav character). Let them be raw and real. Let them fail. Give them consequences to their actions. Let them get hurt.

Then pick them back up again and let them heal. Let them achieve their goal. And let them grow as a character.

I hope this helped!

Haha I have a lot of writing advice tumbling around in my head--whether it works or not is up to you LMAO. If you have any other questions, let me know! I enjoy talking about my writing process, and it reminds me of certain things I still need to work on too.

If there are a bunch of grammar or spelling mistakes in this, I'm sorry. I was going to read through it, but I wanna go draw now, so I'm gonna do that instead.

Thank you for the ask! I'm so happy you're enjoying my fics >.<

If anyone has their own writing advice they want to share, drop it below!

And, of course, I do have a handful of writing resources in my Masterpost <- right here! From using the 5 senses (like how to describe a smile in different ways), general writing help (writing action scenes and describing environments), and miscellaneous topics (like the burning points of different fabrics and why casinos are designed to make people spend more!) Anything new and helpful I find, I add to my Masterpost--especially when it comes to writing Hazbin fics!

[forestgromlin]

i’ve been thinking a lot recently about who i am, how people see me, the kind of person i want to come across as

all the little details that combine to create me as a person

warning: looooong post, just a bit of self-reflection. you have been warned

i’m kind

i’m smart

i have a hunger for knowledge, i want to learn everything and i often get sad when i think about how little time there is to learn things and how long it takes and how much effort you have to put into learning things

i’m learning piano

i don’t like watching movies because they make me anxious

i like to get to know my teachers and talk to them

i watch and am obsessed with minecraft youtube, they are so comforting to me

i love to sing, i’m a soprano and sing in a choir. my range last i checked is around A3 to G5 if i remember correctly. i sing very loudly but in a kind of operatic way, which doesn’t work very well for most styles of music (for example, pop songs and musical theater)

i’m also in musical theater and played a lead role this year

i come across as very confident and sure of myself, but there are layers to that (i seem like criticism just doesn’t affect me, but i’m actually very sensitive, i’m just very supportive of myself and try really hard not to let things get to me)

i have a need for things to be right, and i will correct a teacher if they say something that’s wrong. i don’t want my classmates learning false information and spreading it (i’m sure this is quite annoying to some people. i’m sorry)

i read fanfiction

i’m aroace

i used to love reading and would read all the time, now i struggle more but i try my best

i love language and languages. etymology, grammar, phonology.

i’m a native english speaker, born and raised in america. i’d say i’m quite good at mimicking accents, and i’ve also subconsciously picked up some britishisms through watching british youtubers. i’ve had people irl comment on that

i’ve been learning spanish in school since preschool and i just received my biliteracy award yesterday

i’ve been learning french with the help of apps such as duolingo, youtube videos, and other methods of self-study for nearly 3 years now

i have learned bits and pieces of asl, latin, italian, and norwegian

i’m registered for a college class on elementary asl this summer

i have adhd and am very likely autistic, but i question myself 24/7

i get hyperfixated on things, however the hyperfixations usually only last about 2 weeks, which leads me to be very unsure about hobbies and such, thinking i’ll give up on them in a few weeks time

i get scared that in a few weeks i won’t care about my favorite things anymore

i love baking, and have my recipe for chocolate chip cookies memorized. i oftentimes will bring them to school for class parties and the like, everytime they are completely gone by the end of the day

i love math and am very good at it, often helping my classmates with it. this year and last year my teachers have asked me to doubke check their work to make sure it’s right

i’ve never had issues with self-esteem about how i look

i have had self-esteem issues with my personality/me in general i guess. i have rsd, which makes me second guess myself a lot and i struggled a lot a few years ago because i didn’t have any close friends and due to the rsd would feel terrible about myself when people wouldn’t choose me for group projects, would leave me as a last resort, weren’t super enthusiastic around me, etc.

i now have 2 amazing best friends and an amazing 6 person friend group, i love them all so so much <3

my current best friend and i have only been friends for a little under a year :0 we are basically codependent atp, she’s crashing my family vaca this summer /hj (hj as in she is coming on vacation this summer, but she’s not exactly “crasshing” it, she was very invited)

i love harry potter, i first read it in 2nd grade and i’ve read it about 10 times now. i’m currently reading it in spanish to improve my vocab and grammar. however, i hate the author

i also am part of the marauders fandom, i love my gay babies <3

i intend to take college classes next year :0

my love language is learning about other people’s interests. for example, if you love a specific music artist, i will listen to their music and learn about that artist so that i can talk to you about them. this is my way of trying to connect with you and showing that i care enoug about you to take an interest in what you like

to build off of my last point, this conflicts a lot with my bsf, who is very much a gatekeeper (i love her) she does NOT like when other people like her interests, because they are very special to her. i don’t know how to explain it exactly as i am not her, but i do understand her pov. i am proud to say she has let me in on her interests, which makes me feel very special

i’m a cat person

i love tea, and coffee, and drinks in general. i’ve always been a drinks person. i used to joke that it’s to balance out how picky i am with food, although i’ve gotten better with that recently

i looooooovee music

i would love to learn more instruments. i used to play violin, as i’ve mentioned before, i’m currently learning piano. it’d be cool to learn drums or guitar or bass (guitar) as well. maybe flute

i would love to come across as someone warm and kind and friendly and loyal. unfortunately i probably come across, at least in school, as too much of a know-it-all or rule-follower, despite the fact that i try not to.

i love my parents so much. my mom is outgoing and fun and supportive and is where i get my adhd from lmao. we’ll go on dates on the weekends to coffee shops or ice cream places. she encouraged me to pick up an instrument. my bsf loves her and calls her her second mom. she is so so amazing and i’m just struggling to think of more things to say

my dad is just as supportive, and he’s also super fun to talk to, loves to learn just as much as i do, and is where i get my brains. my mom often says we’re basically the same person. we both love statistics and data or whatever you call it, in that we love tracking stuff, like how much sleep we get each night, our ancestry, grip strength (that one’s random, i know), etc. we also both love tp research things in depth, like when we travel somewhere, get an obsession, etc. we also go on dates sometimes, usually to a coffee shop or somewhere new. last time, he told me about how the extended family is doing and then we discussed lord of the rings for like half an hour. he used to read it to me before bed. i could keep going

i loooooove chocolate, and i can’t stand fruity candies. i don’t really like white chocolate, but mmmmm milk and dark chocolate are delicious

i can’t really eat most sweet things because they make my stomach hurt. even just a few bites of cake :/

i love card games!! texas holdem’, go fish, bullshit, this one version of solitaire that i can’t remember the name of but it’s really hard and most of the time i just have to start over

i love ice cream, mmmmm yummy. chocolate is my favorite flavor. just plain chocolate, no added chunks of anything

RAIN!! i love rain!!!! unfortunately it never rains here bc it’s hot and dry where i live :/ although i am grateful it’s not humid here, i think i would die

the owl house!!!! i fucking love that show it’s so asfdhfhvufhgifhgigjf

okay i’m gonna wrap this up because i think i’ve been sitting here writing this for like an hour

but yeah like i said earlier i’ve just been feeling really reflective lately and just happy at where i am right now

i doubt anyone read this whole thing bc i’m sure it would be boring to someone else but uhh. if you did, reply “chobblesome” ok bye!!

[uboat53]

Fair warning, this article is LOOOOONG, but it's well worth the read. Scientific American does a great job here of breaking down what is and isn't currently understood about Long Covid as well as other "long" conditions that pop up after instances of disease.

The good news is that we understand a heckuva lot more about it than we did even just a few months ago. The downside is that this still seems to be affecting tens of millions of people faster than we can provide treatment.

Read the whole thing, there's a lot of useful information.

[robotslenderman]

Okay but I just realised that due to this post hilarity absolutely ensued at some point after Jane started turning a profit.

Cut 'cause it got looooong.

TL;DR: Jane earns enough money that Prince Dove starts thinking there's no way Sullivan's an actual courier and is convinced he's a super-competent Sabbat spy.

Hilarity Ensues.

And that's before she finds out one of his buddies is Sascha's childe!

See, post-VTMNR, Elisa was put in charge of building a courier network by Dove and boosting their numbers. Sullivan was one of the first couriers who started working for her.

Eventually, Elisa learns that his attendant is moving enough drugs she must be making a fair amount of money. She goes WTF over this and takes it to Dove immediately

and they're both like "why the FUCK would you be a courier when you've got a good income this way?!?!!?"

and they both agree that Sullivan must be a Sabbat spy!! DUN DUN DUNNNN

Cue them setting people to tail Sullivan every time he's in Tucson. Sullivan figures out he's being tailed soon enough -- he actually thinks it's one of Jane's rivals because sometimes people try to kill her over the whole drug lord prodigy thing so he has to play bodyguard every once in a while. So whenever he's in Tucson he never leaves her or Evie alone (because he doesn't want them hurting Evie either).

For some reason they never try to kill them.

Eventually Dove and Elisa are like "oh man, this guy is good! We never catch him contacting the Sabbat!" and start putting tails on him outside of Tucson too, even sending intel along to other Princes that they find out Sullivan frequents to warn them.

... Cue Prince Cross looking up from a letter at @nightingaletrash's Amicia and being like, "okay, why does Prince Dove from Tucson think that your brother is a Sabbat spy?"

This is probably early enough in their relationship he hasn't seen what a total clown Sullivan is yet lmao

and Amicia's just like, "IDK, he's still friends with a few Tzimisce from the old days??? but they're all in New York so unless they've gone to Tucson recently I don't know how the hell she'd know about them?"

... and then it GETS WORSE because Prince Cross is like, "okay, so who are these Fiends?"

"idk some descendants of Sascha Vykos"

CUE THE KILL BILL SIRENS

and then Amicia takes one look at his face and is like, "relax, they're the loser branch of that particular family tree. The youngest, Anastasia, is like forty years dead and I don't think she's actually killed anyone in her life. I once saw her walk into a door and then apologise to it!"

"so they're distant descendants, then?"

"Well, no. The oldest one is Vykos's actual childe..."

KILL BILL SIRENS

Dove gets this particular bit of information, flips her shit because oh my god SULLIVAN IS ONE OF SASCHA VYKOS'S SPIES what the FUCKK AAAAAAAAAAAA and sends that particular bit of intel to Prince Panhard over in New York because the Vykosoviches are based in New York. And meanwhile spends a lot of time trying to kill Sullivan while pretending nothing is wrong. Sullivan is very confused by this but comes to quickly realise that oh, his pursuers were Kindred all along, not humans who want drugs.

Meanwhile Panhard is absolutely underwhelmed by this news.

See, unlike Prince Cross and Prince Dove, Prince Panhard is actually familiar with the Vykosoviches' reputation as "the loser branch of that particular family tree," as Amicia so kindly put it. They kept the FUCK out of the Battle of New York entirely and are now keeping their heads down in Staten Island. Prince Panhard's been keeping a close eye on them ever since -- has indeed known they were there all along, as did Calebros before her -- and every bit of her intel tells her that they're either damn good actors, or they really are just trying to keep their heads down over in Staten Island and get on with their lives.

She's even got a sort of unofficial deal going on with Anastasia where she occasionally does a bit of fleshcrafting for the local Camarilla under a Volgirre identity, and in exchange Panhard leaves them alone and even gives them a small amount of protection. She pretends not to know that the "Volgirre" is really Anastasia, and in return Anastasia pretends not to know that Panhard is pretending not to know.

(Plus, you know, the Vykosoviches' Camarilla covers are friends with one of the most influential Toreador of her court, so she's careful not to antagonise them without good reason.)

Still, she does her due diligence by double checking all her intel, which sure enough backs up her convictions. She's not dumb, she knows there's every possibility that the Vykosoviches are sleeper agents for the Sabbat and will probably turn on them on a dime if New York was ever attacked again, but for now they're chill.

So she sends back a letter to Prince Dove and Prince Cross and tries very hard in it not to let on that she laughed her ass off at them (Prince Cross's inquiries into the Vykosoviches and if Sullivan's association with them might be an issue, and Dove's "WHAT THE FUCK?? SASCHA'S ACTUAL CHILDE???") and just lets them know that if Sullivan's a spy he's sure choosing the worst possible employers because the Vykosoviches are far more concerned with provoking Beckett than they are provoking the Camarilla.

Prince Cross gets the letter and is like "yeah this is way more in line with the guy living out of his 'free candy' van that I know than the hypercompetent Sabbat spy Prince Dove seems to think he is" and pretty much lets Dove know that his concerns have been laid to rest.

Amicia's like wait, you ACTUALLY looked into the Vykosoviches?? way to waste your time

Dove is pissed because she's found out that Madame de la Croix has a lot of sway in Seattle and is convinced Alec's just playing politics in refusing to admit there's an actual Sabbat spy. She just passes Cross the information about Jane's burgeoning drug business and basically goes "fine, stick your head in the sand, if you think it's NOT AT ALL SUSS THAT A GUY WHO ALREADY HAS AN INCOME WOULD JUST. HAPPILY TAKE ONE OF THE SHITTIEST POSSIBLE NEONATE JOBS. YEAH, SURE."

So next time Sullivan's in Seattle Prince Cross just casually calls him into his office, and asks that Jane also attends.

Prince Cross: I hear your ghoul, Ms Carrigan, has been making quite a name for herself in the criminal underworld.

Sullivan, internally: oh shit she pissed him off and/or oh shit he wants a cut.

Sullivan: She's doing well. Is she getting in your way?

Prince Cross: Not at all. It's simply that Prince Dove is quite suspicious of this.

Sullivan: I don't understand.

Prince Cross: She can't comprehend why you'd be a courier when you quite clearly have a comfortable income.

Sullivan: We're not living hand to mouth any more, if that's what she means. I'm afraid I still don't understand what you're getting at.

Prince Cross: Let me be forthright: she thinks you're a Sabbat spy.

Sullivan:

Sullivan:

Sullivan:

Sullivan: And what does Madame de la Croix think of these accusations?

Prince Cross: She thinks they're hilarious. Especially the part where you're supposedly reporting this intel to one of Sascha Vykos's childer.

Sullivan: I see. Which one?

Prince Cross: Grigori Verenich.

Sullivan: I see.

Prince Cross:

Sullivan:

Prince Cross:

Sullivan:

Prince Cross:

Sullivan: I'm sure my sister has already mentioned to you the nature of my relationship with him. But it's just coincidence. I just like to travel. But... wait. *How* comfortable does Dove think I am?

Prince Cross: Comfortable enough not to have to work, apparently.

Sullivan: Jane, how comfortable are we?

Jane, checking her phone and sweating nervously: Uhh, well... if you stopped taking jobs tonight we could go at least three months before you'd need to take another one.

Jane, internally: (I MEAN THAT'S TECHNICALLY THE TRUTH RIGHT)

Sullivan: ... Prince Cross, might I ask for a favour?

Prince Cross: Perhaps you wish for me to vouch for you to Prince Dove?

Sullivan: That... would be nice, but actually, I'd just like a night's head start to break the news to Amicia, because she's been giving me discounts and it's clear I don't need them and she is going to think I did this on purpose and *kill me*.

Prince Cross, very amused that this is the first time he's ever seen Sullivan display any emotion whatsoever and of COURSE it's in dire fear of his sister's wrath: Well, I do have need of a courier to deliver a shipment of blood to Chicago. I'm having trouble securing one with the werewolf issues...

Sullivan: *Sigh* Deal.

Later:

Sullivan: So it turns out my ghoul actually made a million dollars and never told me --

Jane, who mistakenly assumed all this time that Sullivan was at least semi-aware of the street value of all the drugs they've been moving: *Very sheepish*

Sullivan: And I swear to god I will pay full price from now on, including for Evie, and do any bookkeeping or audits on demand for you for a full year from tonight if you promise never to mention this again and stOP INCHING THOSE SHADOW TENTACLES TOWARDS MY THROAT AND GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF BEFORE YOU FRENZY --

[mysticpetals]

Farewell, sunshine

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Jake × f!mc (Syianne)

𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: angst, a sprinkle of fluff

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 4.9k (oof)

𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: All Jake ever wanted was to find his sister and protect the person who had helped him more than anyone. Only, he slowly began to realise that bringing Syianne into this had caused more harm than good.

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: mentions of blood, physical attack, violence, hospitals, medical coma, panic attack.

𝙋𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙩𝙨: Anonymous asked: 5. “Wake up! Please wake up.” MC and Jake finally get to meet for the first time, but everything is heavily dipped in angst. 😂 Also I adore your writing and keep up the good work!

Anonymous asked: Can you give us the most angsty jealous filled over protective short with Jake x MC i want all the ANGST to be seeping out of my screen

@mnrangera asked: Here's a nice angsty scenario for you: MC is in Duskwood continuing their investigation but is caught out in town after dark. They are on the phone with Jake when they are attacked by the Man Without a Face like Jessie was.

𝙉𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨: I know this has been LOOOOONG overdue and I apologise for the wait. Thank you to all my followers for being patient, especially those who sent the requests in. I hope the long wait is worth it and you enjoy it. Also, please read the warnings before proceeding, I don't want any of you to be triggered by something I wrote. There may be inaccuracies in how I progressed medical conditions and general working of the hospitals so I apologise for that. Please do not repost or translate this fic anywhere else!! I'm literally begging you, please don't ruin my hard work like this. I would love if I could get some sort of feedback, whether it be reblogs or comments or just anon asks. I've tried to improve my writing and I hope it shows a little in this. This is my Christmas and New Year present all wrapped in one! I hope you all have a great 2021 <3

It was a cold, winter evening with the sky painted in a plethora of warm colors and Jake felt like finally things were going his way.

He, along with Syianne, had been working tirelessly for the past few weeks to find out what happened to Hannah. They had faced a lot of challenges along the way, with cryptic diary entries and threats directed towards them and their loved ones, but still, they'd prevailed and spent every ounce of free time, getting more information about Hannah's perpetrator.

They finally had the facts about what happened the day she was kidnapped and only the identity of the criminal was hidden. Syianne had suggested that she should go to Duskwood to try and find the last puzzle piece, to which Jake had been a little apprehensive. She argued that the rest of the group had already been through enough, with getting stalked and receiving threats and insisted that she should be the one to carry out her search in secret.

She never once asked for him to come along because she knew how dangerous it would be for him and she didn't want him to get caught. Jake was instantly warmed by the thought that someone cared so much about him, to think of his well being first.

So that night, as she called him to update him on her findings and plan after she went to Duskwood, he found himself speaking his thoughts impulsively.

"What if I came too?"

There was silence on the other end and Jake thought he might have overstepped or made it weird but she answered before he could stammer an apology.

"I'd like that. But only if you're comfortable and safe."

She told him to ruminate on it for a while and bid him goodnight. Jake thought about whether it was a logical thing to do. If Syianne planned to go undercover, he couldn't very well let her go into the lion's den alone. So he made up his mind and texted Syianne to let her know.

Jake [10:46 pm]

I'll come to Duskwood too.

Is it okay if we don't meet straight away?

I...I don't think I'm ready yet.

Syianne [10:47 pm]

I was lowkey hoping you'd say that ahaha

And of course! Take as much time as you need :)

That night, he slept with a smile on his face, excitement churning in his stomach.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

Syianne was looking forward to her trip to Duskwood.

She knew it was a potentially dangerous situation and she was only going there to investigate but knowing that Jake might be there too, sent a spark of thrill through her body. They had been speaking non-stop for the past few weeks and she really liked talking to him. His answers to questions about him or his life were adorably confusing and Syianne realized that she really wanted to get to know him, be his friend or possibly something more, if their flirty banter was anything to go by.

Her bag contained all the essentials she could need, along with a sketchbook and pencils to use in case of boredom. She couldn't leave Matrix with any of her friends as they were either busy or allergic to cats so her only option was to take her along.

She had never booked a flight so fast. Knowing she would have to take a car from the airport to the rest of the way to Duskwood did nothing to damper her excitement. She couldn't wait to meet everyone once they found Hannah, some more so than the others.

The trip was nothing eventful, just a lot of travelling and it made Syianne a little tired but the idea of meeting her friends and finally putting a stop to all this madness, made her keep going. She wouldn't admit it if you asked her but she was looking forward to possibly seeing Jake as well. She knew he might not be comfortable enough to meet her yet and she completely respected that, but the thought still lingered.

She checked in to the only hotel Duskwood had, not meeting the receptionist's - Lilly's - eyes and was eternally grateful that she had only leaked her number and not her photo in that video. It would have been much more difficult to move about Duskwood, if that were the case.

The room they had was pretty basic, but not too bad for a few nights. Matrix prowled around the room, getting herself comfortable in the new environment while Syianne slowly unpacked the few clothes and necessities she brought.

In the corner of her mind, there was the thought that Jake might be staying at this hotel too and that sent a shiver of excitement down her spine. But she was a woman of her word and would wait until Jake was ready and would not try to look for him.

She had a mission here and she wanted to be damn sure that that's what she would be focusing on and save Hannah.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

Jake was supposed to be in Duskwood about two nights ago.

He had encountered some issues with removing his tracks from the internet, as well as trying to find a safe way to drive to Duskwood without exposing himself. Working as a hacker did have some benefits and finally he managed to find a guy who made him three fake number plates that he would interchange every once in a while, so his whereabouts couldn't be traced.

He had let Syianne know of the unexpected delay but to his surprise, she was enjoying herself in Duskwood. She had told him that Jessy gave her a virtual tour of the town once and she was excited to explore all those places in person. She talked to him at night, describing the beauty of the small town and Jake felt himself growing wistful, wondering what they could do together if he had been there. But then again, hadn't he said that he wouldn't show himself right now? He was cautious - just as he had been all his life - but something about Syianne just made him want to let his guard down, to just be selfish for once.

He had no time to think further on it because finally, all the preparations and precautionary measures were done and he could drive to Duskwood. He couldn't leave Glitch at home because he had attachment issues and couldn't go without Jake for a long period of time. So he ushered him into his carrier and told him he could claw all the wood he wanted when they reached their destination and Glitch meowed in agreement. He had always been a smart cat, after all.

Changing the number plates every hour was exhausting, especially when he didn't do much manual work but he endured it, if it meant he was one step closer to finding his sister.

When he finally reached Duskwood, he was in awe of how normal it looked, how silent; how someone who didn't know that a girl had been kidnapped would think of this place as the perfect getaway. But he knew better, didn't he? This town held dark secrets, secrets that people weren't willing to acknowledge and he was going to expose them for what they were, no matter what it took.

Signing into the Duskwood hotel was as awkward as he imagined it to be, his half sister having no idea who he was and looking at his dark, baggy clothes suspiciously. He wasn't blaming her, he would have probably done the same if a strange man came out of nowhere to stay in Duskwood of all places. Lilly gave him a tight smile as he picked up his bag and key and made way to his room.

Syianne had texted him earlier that day that she would be checking out the lake in the evening, where Jessy was attacked. Jake was against it from the start but he should have known how stubborn she could be and eventually, he had to agree but only on the condition that she stays on video call with him the whole time. Syianne was evidently bewildered by his request, judging by the way she kept writing and erasing her reply but after a while, she managed to ask if he would be comfortable with that. Jake's heart warmed at her considerate words, never really having anyone who would care about his emotions, he was always surprised when Syianne said something like that. He replied that he would just turn off his camera or point it at the lamp or something but he had to be sure about her safety.

And that's why, he was sitting with his phone in front of him in the evening, camera turned off as he watched her fondly, pointing out the strange birds she saw.

"Ah, I wish you were here! The lake is so pretty this time and the light from sunset is reflecting off the water and it makes an amazing view," she said, voice breathy with the exertion of walking for a while and a tone of awe towards the scene in front of her.

"That's sufficient sightseeing, don't you think?" Her voice suddenly took a serious note and Jake straightened up in his chair. He was afraid but couldn't say anything. He had already agreed to let her go with a condition and he feared if he asked her to not investigate, she would probably end the call and keep looking for clues by herself. At least on the phone, he could look at her surroundings and made sure no one sneaked up on her.

"If you say so," he said half-heartedly, glancing at the surroundings behind her as she narrowed her eyes at his dismissive tone.

The next twenty minutes were spent with Syianne looking around the lake and Jake looking over her shoulder virtually. She had scouted the edge and went a little deeper into the forest, looking for a car, a boat, a mask - anything, really - but the search had proved to be futile so far. Everything was as peaceful as ever, no signs of any disturbance and it made Jake a little antsy. Nothing was ever this perfect.

"Well, since we can't find anything here, I think you should come back. It's getting late," Jake said, looking at the already darkened sky. It was an ominous red color and Jake was getting more and more worried as people left the lakeside.

Syianne frowned but didn't argue and that made him sigh in relief.

"Yeah, you're right. No use trying to find something that isn't there," she said and started walking again.

"Wait, you walked here? Didn't you bring your car?" Jake asked and she shook her head.

"Nope, I wanted to enjoy Duskwood and being in a car wouldn't have helped," she smiled at the camera and Jake let out an almost inaudible sigh. Why couldn't she care about her safety a little more? She was going to give him grey hair before he reached his thirties, that was for sure.

As he began to reply to her, he caught movement from the left side of the screen and instantly grabbed his phone, expanding the background.

There was a silhouette of a hand.

"Syianne, run!" He shouted, as the figure's arm came into view and she looked back in surprise before starting to sprint, the camera shaking from her movements.

Jake scrambled to get his car keys, not bothering with what he was wearing and ran towards the hotel parking, getting into his car and connecting the GPS to his phone, all the while listening to Syianne's panting breaths as she ran away from the man without a face.

Getting her location was no problem for him and he just hoped he would arrive there on time.

"Jake, I'm scared. I'm hiding behind a big building and I think he went on ahead," she whispered, voice shaky and trembling and Jake's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as he glanced over at his phone to watch her looking around herself in a panic.

Five more minutes and he would reach her location. Jake had never been more thankful that Duskwood was a small town and the hotel wasn't so far away from the lake.

"I'm coming, Syianne. Just a little while more and we'll go back together."

"Okay, I think I'm safe for now," she said. There was a sound of slow careful footsteps as Syianne came out from behind the building.

The abrupt sound of a gasp almost made him lose control of the steering wheel and he increased his speed as he heard what sounded like a scuffle. Syianne had probably dropped her phone because it only showed the dark sky and sounds of her struggling against her attacker.

"No! Let–"

Jake let out a harsh breath, jaw tightening as he heard Syianne's scream. He drove straight for a bit and turned the next corner and saw the man trying once again to restrain her. His eyes saw red and he honked and honked like it was nobody's business, speeding towards them.

The man without a face seemed to have realised that someone was coming to help as he pushed Syianne roughly into the wall and ran away towards the forest. As much as Jake wanted to go after him, Syianne was his first priority and he quickly got out of the car, dashing towards her crumpled form, lying on the ground.

He fumbled with his phone, calling the local police and asking for an ambulance, his body shaking all the while, as he knelt down next to Syianne.

He felt tears welling in her eyes as he looked at her battered form and realised that she was bleeding.

"Syianne?" He spoke in a scared voice.

"Syianne!" He said more forcefully, repeatedly patting her face in hope she'll look at him but her eyes were still glassy and unfocused as if she couldn't comprehend anything.

"I'm...so sorry. I…" her voice trailed off as she struggled to breathe and Jake cried, seeing her in so much pain, when he couldn't do anything except wait for the ambulance to arrive.

After a moment, Syianne's eyes fluttered closed and Jake's panic rose to new heights.

"No, no, no! Wake up! Please wake up!" He shouted and begged but she didn't respond to his calls.

His hand was soaked in her blood from where he was applying pressure on the wound at her side. The blood hadn't stopped flowing and Jake was worried that she was losing too much, too soon.

"What do I do? What do I do?" He muttered to himself, adrenaline coursing through his veins, with only one thought in his head – to save her.

He heard sirens in the distance and was relieved to know that help was coming. He pushed up the fallen hood of his jacket up on his head and looked at Syianne for any signs of consciousness. Her breaths were shallow and eyes still closed.

Soon enough, paramedics rushed to the scene and immediately started tending to Syianne's wounds. Jake felt as if he was just a spectator, not being able to do anything but watch. Someone came up to him and started asking him questions, about how he found her, who he was to her and if he knew anything about the attack. He answered all the questions as carefully as he could, giving a fake name, because he still wasn't sure if the police department was in league with the kidnapper or not.

As soon as he was done with the questioning, a paramedic approached him, letting him know that they were taking Syianne to the hospital and he would have to come there for a bit of paperwork. Jake hesitated and said he'd drive there in his own car and the paramedic nodded in response and left.

He got in his car and put his head in his hands, shaking at the unfortunate turn of events. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Syianne was just going to check out the lake and then surprise her friends the next day by telling them she'd be here for a few days and enjoy Duskwood together.

Jake was even thinking of meeting her in person and telling her that she had changed his life for the better. But his cowardice, his meticulous nature to not let anyone know who he was or where he was might have cost Syianne her life tonight. Even thinking about it had tears pooling in his eyes and he took a deep breath to bite back the sobs that were threatening to break once again.

He felt guilty, so so guilty and couldn't bring himself to start the car. He was pretty sure that if – no when – Syianne woke up, she would want nothing to do with the man who put her life in danger. With that thought rooted in his mind, he opened his phone and with trembling hands, sent Jessy a text about Syianne's accident. He received a reply almost immediately.

Jessy [8:46 pm]

What?

How did she come here?

You know what? If she's not okay, I'm going to hunt you down and make you pay.

Jake had no trouble believing she was telling the truth. All he wanted to do was help and now everything was falling apart. Taking a deep but shaky breath, he started the car but instead of going to the hospital, he turned towards the hotel.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

Jessy had no trouble believing that the hacker was telling the truth. His texts were frantic and he practically begged her to go to the hospital to see Syianne. She had no idea how she got here, but hearing that she got attacked, just like she was, was enough to make her worry and drive to the hospital, after letting Cleo know. She figured that the rest of them deserved to know too.

She rushed to the front desk, breathless and worried, and one of the nurses told Jessy that the doctors were with Syianne and she'd have to wait until they were done to know how she was.

After some time of relentless pacing, Cleo arrived and Jessy filled her in on everything that the hacker told her, which wasn't much, but it gave them a good idea of what had happened. Cleo said that she hadn't told anyone else yet and that they should do so as soon as the doctors had an update on Syianne's condition.

About an hour later, a nurse came upto Jessy and Cleo, asking if they knew Syianne and upon their confirmation, led them to the room she was kept in. They weren't allowed to enter yet as the doctors were still in the room, but Jessy gasped when she saw Syianne's scratched up face, with bandages covering her head.

"Oh my gosh." Cleo breathed and Jessy felt a rush of sorrow as she averted her eyes.

The doctors after completing their examination, told them that Syianne was stabbed in the side but luckily it didn't puncture anything important and they closed up the wound to allow it to heal. What was more concerning, was the fact that she was hit on the back of her head.

"She most likely suffered from a concussion, in which case, it is of the utmost importance that the patient doesn't fall asleep," the doctor said and Jessy and Cleo looked at each other uneasily.

"But Syianne fell asleep…" Jessy began and the doctor gave her an apologetic smile.

"That's right. She was unconscious when she was brought here. The superficial wounds are taken care of, we just don't know when she'll wake up."

Both of them were too stunned to say anything and a call for the doctor from one of the nurses broke them out of their stupor.

"So, she's in a coma?" Cleo asked.

The doctor hesitated before answering.

"Essentially, yes. But we can't know for sure without further observation. If the injury isn't severe she'll wake up soon, we just have to monitor her constantly and look for any changes." He then walked off when his pager went off, most likely to see another patient.

"Don't worry, Jessy. She'll wake up soon," Cleo said, placing a hand on her shoulder, as they looked into Syianne's room, seeing her sleeping peacefully, as if nothing was wrong and she was just taking a nap.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

As soon as she got home from the hospital, Jessy sent out a row of furious texts to the hacker, clouded by her anger and hopelessness. In her head, it was all his fault that Syianne was twittering between life and death. He was the one who asked her to come to Duskwood without letting any of them know, which caused her to be in such a terrible condition.

Everything was crumbling.

They were a tight knit group, always there for each other but when did it turn into a nightmare, Jessy didn't know. Emotion overtook her and she suddenly collapsed against the wall, keeping a hand on her mouth to muffle her sobs, and cried.

She cried for Hannah, who she had no idea whether she was alive or not. She cried for Syianne, who had become such a great friend to her. Most importantly, she cried for her relationship with everyone, that was slowly but surely, withering away.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

Jake had been pacing in his hotel room ever since getting back, waiting on a word from Jessy. Glitch watched him with big eyes, as he stubbed his on the bedside and cursed. Sighing in defeat, Jake realised that it won't do any good to worry himself to death, but that didn't mean that his mind didn't drift off to the earlier scene.

Syianne lying on the ground. Blood pooled around her.

He shook his head in frustration, trying to get that image out of his head but to no success. Glitch, sensing that something was wrong, strolled towards him, rubbing and purring against his legs. Jake softened at seeing his efforts to calm him and he picked Glitch up, moving to lay down on the bed. He petted him, smiling at the way the cat burrowed himself further against Jake, curling his tail around his wrist.

After a few peaceful moments of cuddling, Jake's phone lit up with a text, which had him scrambling to grab it from the bedside. Glitch meowed in protest but Jake was too wound up to notice.

Jessy [10:25 pm]

She's in a coma

They don't know when she'll wake up

Jake felt all breath leave him as he read Jessy's text. He didn't know what to think, what to do, what he could do. Jessy didn't give him a chance to respond.

Jessy [10:26 pm]

Don't contact any of us ever again

I don't want to find Hannah this way…which leads to everyone else getting hurt

Please leave Syianne out of this

Saying her mind, Jessy went offline again. Jake took a shaky breath, trying to ground himself. Syianne might never make up.

No, he told himself.

He couldn't think like that. He knew she'd wake up, it might take a little time but she will. Because if she didn't, Jake wouldn't be able to live with himself.

He got another text from Lilly, saying she was sorry that it happened but he couldn't bring himself to write back. His mind was empty, body numb to everything around him and he was cursing himself for being so careless.

If he hadn't been so selfish, if only he didn't put all of this on her, if he had just reached on time, if, if, if.

That's all he thought of, as tears continuously trailed down his cheeks, an arm covering his eyes, the only thing on his mind being Syianne, just as it had been ever since he started talking to her.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

The next day, Jake found himself holding a large flower bouquet and walking to Duskwood hospital's reception. He was trembling, scared out of his mind but he just had to see Syianne. So, he had braved his anxiety and was now standing in front of the receptionist, who looked at the abnormally large bouquet in his hands and raised an eyebrow. He cleared his throat.

"I'm here to see Syianne King, she was admitted here yesterday."

The receptionist's gaze sharpened as she looked him over and he partially hid behind the flowers.

"Only family members are allowed to visit," she spoke slowly and Jake bit his lip in frustration.

"I'm her fiance," he said and before the surprised receptionist could say anything, he continued, "I drove here as soon as I got the call but they wouldn't tell me what happened. Only that Syianne had been in an accident and I needed to get here as soon as I could and I—" he cut himself off, shuffling nervously and wiping away the tears that had managed to escape from his eyes.

The receptionist softened, seeing his genuine sorrow and care for his fiance and warmed her voice.

"Of course, I'm sorry for what happened. She's in room 309, third floor. The elevator is down the hall," she pointed and Jake thanked her profusely before walking ahead.

Him being Syianne's fiance might have been fake but everything he had felt was the truth and he felt overwhelmed now that he was here. Should he see her? Did he even deserve to see her after he put her in danger? Thoughts like this plagued his mind all the way to Syianne's room and they only stopped when he saw '309' written in bold letters on a grey coloured door.

His breath stuttered in his chest. He was second guessing his presence in the hospital, thinking whether he shouldn't have come. He stood in front of the door for about ten minutes, contemplating but when the nurses started giving him suspicious looks, he swallowed thickly and with shaky hands, opened the door.

Nothing could have prepared him for the utter despair and helplessness he felt, as he saw Syianne's motionless form on the bed, breathing as if she was just sleeping and would wake up any minute. But he knew that wasn't the truth.

She was here and it was his fault.

For the longest time, he just sat on a chair beside her bed and just looked at her. His eyes traced every injury, every bruise that was visible and he felt sick, blaming himself for letting it happen. She was still sleeping and suddenly, it just got too much.

There was too much light, too much beeping, the walls were too white, the flowers in his hands digging into his skin and he got up hastily, dropping the bouquet and backed into the furthest corner of the room.

His breath was coming in short bursts, it hurt to breath, to think, to stay upright—!

His legs gave from under him and he slid down, back against the wall, shaking hands coming up to wipe the wetness on his face.

He didn't even realise he had been crying.

His vision was a blur of dark shapes and in a distinct corner of his head that was still sane, he thought of what Syianne would have done had she been awake. He was sure she would kneel down in front of him and take his hands, running her thumbs against the back of his hands to calm him.

'Breathe slowly, Jake. Deep breaths with me, come on,' he heard her in his head and tried to slow down, breathing harshly at first but after a few minutes, his vision cleared and his breathing stabled to an acceptable rate.

His whole body shook with the sheer suddenness of the panic attack and he slowly tried to get up, holding onto the wall as a support as his gaze, once again, landed on the bed and it's occupant.

All at once, his head cleared and he knew what to do.

Snatching a sheet of paper from the notepad lying near her chart, Jake penned his thoughts, all his anguish, and his apologies on it. Not once did his hand shake as he wrote the note and not once did his mind waver from the decision he had made. At last, when he had said everything he wanted to, he put the pen down and glanced at Syianne's peaceful face.

His throat closed up but he swallowed once to make sure he didn't cry. No, Jake had no time for tears. It was his fault that this happened in the first place, so it was his responsibility that he would make it right.

He didn't know when she would wake but whenever it might be, Jake had everything he wanted to say, already written for her.

He bent down towards her and placed the softest of kisses against her forehead, knowing that it would be the only time he would ever get to do it.

She did not open her eyes and Jake stepped back with a miniscule tilt of his lips.

Yes, he would make everything right.

[lemoncrumpet]

>____>

Okaaay so I know I kinda up and disappeared again, and I haven’t updated in a looooong time. So quick tl;dr: I’m doing okay, and Sun and Rain hasn’t been abandoned. Scotland and N.Ireland will continue to be be written as I’ve been writing them, opposite to canon. For the full details continue reading.

So you may have noticed I stopped updating rather suddenly. The short of it was I was having a temper tantrum…against Romano (Italy as a whole but, eh)…yeah. Eurovision, the football Euros…It was a tough time for me as an idiotic patriot of my country, and I needed to sulk for a while.  Following my sulk a lot of upheavals happened in my life and I had to focus on getting them sorted out. In the autumn/winter of 2021 a large chunk of the UK lost power thanks to a storm and we were left with no heating, hot water or electricity for around a week. I got pneumonia and then covid. I had to leave my house and move back in with my family, give up my “farm”, my cat died and I grieved badly for months, my brother has been unwell. Needless to say Sun and Rain was not my main priority. It was a rough time, but things are getting there now. 

In that time we’ve had a lot of new characters added to the series and existing characters have been getting fleshed out more. I’ve been writing a lot of shorts, researching and experimenting with how I approach these characters in my stories, and I’ve forgiven Romano, and still love him..mostly. A warning for anyone who hasn’t been keeping up to date with the manga chapters: there will be potential spoilers below so be warned. Characters of the most note to me are obviously the UK bros and Ireland. I’m so excited to see them, but I’m going to be honest here. I think Ireland seems way too dumbed down, but it’s early days yet. As for N.Ireland I personally think that he and Scotland’s character’s are backwards, so in my stories they will continue to be as I’ve written them; Scotland will be the floofy redhead and N.Ireland will be the stoic brunette, sorry if this causes confusion. Wales, I love. That’s basically it for now. I can’t say when exactly Sun and Rain will be updated yet, but I am working on it!  Sorry for causing any worry. I’ll try to keep you informed more frequently!  Okay, bye!

[murder-raven13]

My Haikyuu Ships pt. 2

A/N: This is the continuation of my Haikyuu ships and the reason I ship them. 

Warning(s): cursing, somehow these kind of turned into small relationship headcanons for some of them, not proofread, looooong

Word Count: 2,373

Part 1 Part 3

Yaku x Lev

Honestly, the height different is a big deal for me. So fucking cute, like...just what? Plus, Yaku is a grumpy smol and Lev is a happy toll and I just-

But Yaku is grumpy chaotic and Lev is puppy [and a little oblivious] chaotic and them together is just adorable chaotic. Lev irritates Yaku so much in the beginning [which, like, understandable; Lev’s a cocky idiot], but manages to learn how to deal with him. Develops an exasperated fondness for the giant. Lev learns how to control himself a little because of Yaku [this is partly because now Lev has a singular target for his mischief]. They’re just so cute and Yaku is so done [was highkey mad at himself when he caught feelings]. Lev was definitely to type to fall in love at first sight. 

Suga x Oikawa

Okay, Okay, so like I don’t know how this one started for me. But I love them, okay? They don’t like each other at first because they’re rivals, not just because they’re on different teams but because they’re both setters. But then Oikawa also thinks Suga is unfairly pretty [who doesn’t?] and Suga returns the sentiment [the level of pretty in this relationship should be illegal; it has reached critical mass]. And then Oikawa finds that Suga is an instigating little gremlin who physically abuses people as a form of affection. And Suga finds that Oikawa is super dedicated and a literal perfect director when it comes to people [he can literally make anyone sing any tune he wants with his smile]. So, these two get along like a house on fire. Two manipulative meanies. They get into so much mischief together [Iwaizumi swears he’s going to kill them or himself]. But they also are just really soft. Like, Oikawa will burrow himself into Suga’s side no matter where there are or what position they’re in [clingy baby]. And Suga will bury his hands in Oikawa’s sweater whenever they’re cold [loves the way Oikawa will shriek if he touches his skin with his cold hands]. They leave sticky notes in each other’s bags or random places for the other to find [eventually] with little compliments or things on them. Just, they’re conniving, adorable bastards and I hate them. 

Terushima x Daichi

This is another one where I don’t know where the fuck it came from. I’m not even sure I have a reason behind this other than Terushima being a smug asshole and Daichi having none of it. Terushima is a ball of reckless energy and he doesn’t take anything seriously despite being ridiculously intelligent [boy is in Class 7]. And Daichi, bless his soul, is a dad. All he does is take shit seriously and chorale reckless idiots onto the right path. So, when they get together, Terushima ensures that Daichi lets loose and doesn’t forget to take care of himself [by making sure he’s not too stressed or overworking himself]. And Daichi is, like, all of Terushima’s impulse control. Honestly the only reason Terushima doesn’t die. So, they keep each other on track and make sure that each is happy and doing their best. Just a very chill, well-balanced couple. 

Ushijima x Tendou

These are both my babies and I cannot with them. Their cuteness hurts me. Ushijima is so stoic and so single-mindedly dedicated to the things that matter to him and the list of things that matter to him is short: volleyball, his family, and Tendou. That’s it. Man is legit just completely dedicated to Tendou, no questions asked, would help him bury a body. But he sucks at communication and showing his emotions. And that’s never been a problem with Tendou. Tendou never got tired of talking to him, never stopped trying to include him, was never bothered by how little Ushijima talked and Ushijima literally loves this man so much. And Tendou, my adorable little baby, was so lonely and so insecure. He expected everyone to judge him for his appearance or to leave him because he’s annoying or a freak. But Ushijima literally does not care about Tendou’s looks not being conventional; he thinks he’s attractive all the same and has no problem telling Tendou this. And Ushijima has made a sustained effort to interact with Tendou’s interests because he knows it makes Tendou happy [Tendou talks to him about his interests, so Ushijima makes sure he knows all of them so these conversations can happen]. Just, they’re so perfect, I can’t.

Tendou x Semi

Big, energetic Tendou with grumpy, stoic Semi. Gives me life. Semi acts irritated with Tendou’s antics, but he loves them, really. And Tendou knows it, too. Teasing little shit; Semi never gets a break. Tendou helps Semi whenever he’s feeling down because he’s not doing as well as he hoped [Semi wants to be the best but being the best is hard]. And Semi helps Tendou remember that opinions don’t matter; that he likes Tendou for all those weird, annoying qualities Tendou sometimes hates. They’re very sweet and, surprisingly, Semi is the one that initiates most serious physical contact [he initiates their first kiss, their first real hug, their first cuddle session, their first time, all of it] because Tendou wants to make sure that everything is going at Semi’s pace since Semi isn’t as comfortable with touch or intimacy. A very sweet, yet playful couple. 

Shirabu x Goshiki

The small, itty-bitty amount of information I’ve been given about these boys is criminal. But I’ve seen enough to ship this. Goshiki is overzealous and a people pleaser; he just wants to be good enough to be great. One of the ones that wants to prove himself more than anything else. Praise is received extremely well. Shirabu, on the other hand, wants the opposite. He doesn’t want to be the best, he doesn’t want to be the one everyone relies on. He wants to be more of an invisible support beam, a minor cog in an overall grand and powerful machine. He’s not very forthcoming with his emotion, unless that emotion is annoyance or disdain. Goshiki tries to be cool, but can’t really keep his emotions in check very well. So, they, as a couple, play a kind of tug-of-war. Goshiki constantly pulls for more and Shirabu constantly pulls for less, which keeps the two of them balanced, putting out just enough that they’re constantly improving, just in subtle ways instead of grandiose ones. Shirabu tries to pretend he’s not a softie, but he is [only for Goshiki, though, who basks in the little moments Shirabu lets him have of uninhabited affection, whose rarity makes them worth the world to Goshiki]. 

Nishinoya x Tsukishima

This one came about because of the lowkey abusive relationship Noya has with Tsukishima. Noya is like 5′2 and Tsukki is like a whole foot taller. Yet Noya can and will stand up to Tsukki and let him know when he’s being an ass, physical methods used as necessary [most of this is limited to hitting his side or messing with his glasses if Tsukki’s face is within reach]. Noya will also mock Tsukki, playfully, and reminds him of his age, which is good for Tsukki because he’s chronically withering inside his little tsundre shell. Noya is also highkey really supportive. Whenever Tsukki does something good, no matter how subtle it is, Noya is there to give him recognition for it, which, again, reminds Tsukki that he can be nicer and that Noya can see him even when he’s trying to hide. And Noya has fun with Tsukki because he keeps him on his toes; they have a fun relationship built of just the right amount of trust and ‘lets remember to have fun’.

Daichi x Kuroo

My captain babes. Daichi and Kuroo both have very forthcoming personalities. But Kuroo is much better at remembering that it’s important he acts goofy and stupid sometimes because he’s a student, a kid, and carry a lot of stress. Daichi isn’t so good at this. He’s gotten so used to dealing with reckless children that need him to be a serious iron fist that he’s forgotten that he needs to let go sometimes and that that’s okay. Kuroo helps him remember this. And their relationship is built around understanding. When one needs help or a little space to deal with their serious stuff, the other is right there to be the pillar they need. If they need to goof around and forget a little, they’re there and prepped with hot chocolate and bad trivia games that Daichi sucks at. When they’re both stressed under piles of work, they never forget the other. They’ll sit next to each other at the table, on the bed, on the couch, the floor, with their legs or their shoulders or their feet lightly touching, just as a reminder that they’re there. If one falls asleep, the other will save their work and haul them to bed because sleeping slumped over isn’t any good. Out of my ships, this is definitely one of the best, in terms of matching and functionality as a serious couple. 

Kuroo x Bokuto

They’re relationship isn’t as serious. Bokuto is a refugee for Kuroo, a place where he can unapologetically turn his brain off. He doesn’t have to be a captain or responsible or the top of his class. He can just be Kuroo and Bokuto has fun with him. They go on adventures and play volleyball together, experimenting with new moves or ideas all the time. Definitely the couple that would regularly go to the amusement park or the fair. Kuroo gives Bokuto his undivided attention whenever they’re together and spoils the hell out of him and Bokuto’s mood swings don’t bother him, he knows what to do. Boys are very committed to each other; they can’t imagine ever not being together because their relationship is just so fun and comfortable. It’s safe and loving, without a doubt, because they are, first and foremost, best friends. 

Yaku x Kuroo

Hated each other at first because their middle school teams were rivals. And Yaku’s a grumpy little gremlin that can be a little too serious sometimes. But that’s just until he relaxes. Once he’s comfortable with people, he gets a lot less serious and just a little less grumpy [he’s an angry smol and my mind cannot be changed]. But he loves Kuroo. Can’t help snorting at Kuroo’s god awful chemistry pickup lines; they’re just that bad. He loves them, though. And he can throw them right back. They have chemistry and physics debates all the time, often while doing something completely non-serious, like Twister or that headband game. Kenma can’t stand being around them because they throw insults at each other like they’re compliments, loving voices and touches and all. Kuroo is always touching Yaku, will literally reach for him completely subconsciously, a fact Yaku mocks him ruthlessly for despite that fact that he always adjusts himself to fit the contact better [because he’s just as clingy as Kuroo, just not as openly]. Sickeningly cute behind closed doors, only mildly affectionate in public. 

Oikawa x Kuroo

A couple that met later in life. I ship them as college students, to be honest. But they would be cute. Kuroo is goofy and a science nerd; Oikawa would alien talk him into a stupor. Iwaizumi is just glad he is no longer the sole participant in Oikawa’s space conversations. These two would casually come up with plans to demolish their opponent’s spirit and have fun doing it. Plot murder together on a regular Tuesday night. Would definitely be able to calm the other down when they began to take shit too far. 

Ushijima x Oikawa

[Can y’all tell I’m a whore for the enemies to lovers trope?]

Ushijima is a huge ball of attractive stoic that doesn’t know how to properly act on his feelings. Has always admired Oikawa as a setter [legit has crushed on this boy since the first time they plated a game together in middle school and Oikawa vowed to beat him]. Ushijima has no problem telling Oikawa how much he admires his playing, his skill, and his determination to win no matter what. Oikawa had no idea in high school that Ushijima’s interactions with him were Ushijima’s way of showing he liked him. He saw it as antagonization because Ushijima thought he was better [Ushijima thought they would have been their best together]. His growing feelings for Ushijima forced Oikawa to face some of his own securities and grow as a person. Had to go through almost an entire identity crisis when he realized he was in love with Ushijima of all people. Iwaizumi wanted to throw his entire phone away Oikawa called him to whine so much. And Oikawa’s lack of understanding Ushijima’s advances forced Ushijima to become more adept at reading others and expressing his own feelings in a concise, clear way. 

Kenma x Yamamoto

This is my favorite Kenma ship and one of my favorite overall ships. Let me tell you why. I did not ship them until season 4 because I didn’t know much about their relationship until then. But Tora and Kenma are another set that didn’t get along at first. Their personalities makes them natural antagonists to the other. Yamamoto is a try hard and always gives 120% in everything he does. Kenma is the type to give a very efficient 70%, meaning that he finds the best ways to get the same results 100% would have gotten, just without as much work put into it. And they have such a grudging respect for the other at first, once they begin to come to terms with the other. That respect grows and becomes the foundation for their relationship. They know that the other is going to do their job and they’re going to do it well. They have complete faith in the other and when they work together, their personalities become magnified. Kenma relies on Tora to be forthcoming and Tora expects Kenma to find the best way to do things. They just, they’re perfect, and I love them. Please, why is there so little content for this ship?

On that note, Imma end this. There will probably most definitely be a part 3 to this because I don’t have free time, but that’s never stopped me. 

[jingabitch]

Armed to the Fangs ch.11

SUMMARY: you grew up in the hunter’s guild, understanding that it is your sacred duty as a hunter to protect humanity from the vampires that lurk in the dark, draining the life from anyone unlucky enough to be caught. while making the rounds one night, you encounter taehyung, a fabled born vampire - not that you know that when he tries to entice you into a dark alley. next thing you know, you’re kidnapped and taken to their home, where you realise that all of them somehow crave your blood and seem to know more about your past than you do. finding out about where you came from might be the key to setting humanity free.

PAIRING: eventual ot7 x reader

WARNINGS: some description of violence, angst, pining, maybe eventual smut but not for a looooong time, slow burn (really the slowest of burns), fainting from blood loss, things move along in this chapter!

RATING: T

WORD COUNT: 3.8k

A/N: thank you @pasteljeon for looking over this for me. hope you enjoy this update before i disappear again LOL

series index

All of them watched with bated breath as you walked across the room. They could hear your heart pounding madly inside your chest, but your footsteps were resolute and steady. If not for their supernatural hearing, they would have been fooled into thinking that you were completely confident.

“Y/n,” Hoseok rasped, his gaze fixed on you. You tried not to think of the gleam in his eyes as predatory.

Clenching your fists to stop your hands from trembling, you perched lightly on the edge of the mattress. Hoseok’s eyes zeroed in on your jugular, on the almost imperceptible motion of your pulse under the thin, sensitive skin. Even as his instincts clamoured for the blood rushing under your flesh that would save him, there was a sense of hesitance, of guilt, and it was reflected in the slightly sluggish way he reached for you, beating back the urge to pounce.

The other boys shared glances. It was all but clear that you didn’t know the extent of the commitment you were making right now. It wasn’t just a one-time thing: this would bind Hoseok – and the others – to you forever. Were you really okay with this?

Tension was high in the room as the boys debated with each other silently over what to do. They knew that Seokjin wouldn’t tell you until after the deed was done. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission, after all, and once you were bound to them, there would be time aplenty to make it up to you. Jungkook, on the other hand, had his fists clenched by his sides.

“Wait—” he cried, his cheeks flushed and his brows drawn down into a scowl.

It felt like everything in the room stopped as all the occupants swiveled their heads around to look at Jungkook. He seemed to realize, too, immediately clamming up and ducking his head as all his bravado vanished in an instant.

Luckily for you, Yoongi took courage from his younger brother’s outburst, continuing where Jungkook hadn’t dared to. “There are some things you should know before you commit to this.”

Hoseok, who hadn’t had the energy for a long, drawn-out explanation, slumped back against the headrest with relief – and a little disappointment. After all, if you ran out of here screaming – which was a real possibility – he might not survive it.

Perched lightly on the edge of the mattress, you redirected your attention to Yoongi. From the sombre inflection in his voice, you could tell that what he was going to say was serious.

“Hoseok… he isn’t sick, or dying because of what happened the other day, or anything like that,” Yoongi started, taking some time to gather his thoughts before he launched into the main part of his explanation.

“You triggered… something in him when you met him,” he continued, putting it as delicately as possible. There was a lot of information that you probably shouldn’t have yet, and all of the brothers were in agreement that regardless of whether you bound yourself to Hoseok, it would be too soon for you to know the full extent of your significance to them. Hell, not all of them were even ready to admit to themselves what was going on.

“What is it?” Curious, you leaned forward.

“His body is rejecting packaged blood,” Namjoon cut Yoongi off smoothly with a more elegant explanation that was less likely to send you screaming for the hills. “He can’t keep any of the blood we have on hand down. He needs a live donor.”

“A live donor…” you murmured to yourself, turning back towards Hoseok thoughtfully. You didn’t know if what they were telling you was true, or even plausible, but then again, you weren’t really an expert on vampire anatomy and biology. Unless it was about the most efficient way to dispatch one, of course.

“Not just that,” Namjoon continued. “There are… some people who are more compatible with certain vampires than others.” That was an understatement of the mate bond so severe it was basically mischaracterization. “You and Hoseok just happen to be compatible in that way. Once he drinks from you, he will need to keep doing it.”

That was the key information you needed, they thought. The mate bond, and all of it… none of them were quite ready to lay all their cards on the table, but you had to know that this wasn’t a one-time deal.

You blanched, your head whipping back around to Namjoon, who was leaning against the wall next to the bedroom door. “I… what?” you breathed in shock and some horror. This had to be a trope from a horror movie, right? Being a permanent blood bag, getting drained of your life bit by bit until there was none of it left to sustain you…

There was nothing you could imagine that was more terrifying. Visions of all the drained bodies you’d come across in your life flashed before your eyes, pale, cold, hard, their necks torn and bloody. You didn’t want that, you thought, feeling like you were sinking into a black hole.

Taehyung sprang forward as you swayed slightly, your face pale as you processed the bombshell Namjoon had dropped on you. “Y/n! Are you okay?” he asked in concern, his hands outstretched to catch you if you fell.

“No…” you murmured. “If you’re going to drain me, do it in one shot. Don’t draw it out.” Even faced with the fear of death, your commitment to the debt you owed Hoseok won out. He’d saved your life, and now you would save his – even at the expense of your own. It was the hunter code, and even if you weren’t a hunter anymore, the habits ingrained in you since you could remember were impossible to break.

Despite how faint and thready the sound of your voice was, all the boys heard you fine. It was so silent in the next moment that even you could hear your own heartbeat pounding in your ears.

Then the room exploded into action. There was indistinguishable yelling, and Taehyung lurched forward, grabbing your hands. It seemed you’d tripped over a land mine somehow, though you weren’t sure what it was, or how you’d triggered them.

“Y/n,” Taehyung said, getting way too close to your face. He gave you an imploring gaze, and the sadness in his eyes made you want to turn away in discomfort, though you couldn’t bring yourself to. “Hoseok would never drain you.” His voice, filled with sincerity, made you feel almost guilty for ever thinking that Hoseok would do such a thing, but then you remembered your first encounter with him, and pulled your hands out of his grasp.

“Y/n, I promise you,” Namjoon added. “The bond between m—vampires and their feeders is all but unbreakable. When… if,” he amended hastily, “you let Hoseok feed from you, he will do everything in his power to keep you safe, including from himself.”

You looked up, and Namjoon nodded at you, the conviction in the set of his jaw clear. The rest of the boys were nodding in agreement, and you turned to look at Hoseok, who was still leaning weakly against the headboard. There wasn’t much expression on his face, but he’d marshalled what seemed like the last of his strength to nod at you, leaning forward slightly.

You took a breath, steeling yourself. “Okay,” you whispered, your voice sounding like it could dissipate into the wind. You trembled as you walked towards the bed, but your steps didn’t waver. The time it took you to cross the room felt like a microsecond stretched into eternity, and you were almost surprised when you reached the bed.

Hoseok’s eyes immediately fixed on your neck, watching the almost imperceptible way your vein throbbed. He could hear the thrum of the blood rushing through it, smell the delicious aroma wafting off you. In your agitation, your heart had quickened, and your face had become flushed, making the scent all the stronger.

You could sense more than see the ravenous hunger pouring off the vampire. It might have been because of your hunter training but, you thought, it was more likely the survival instinct of prey animals that made you hyperaware of the intense stare you were pinned under. That same instinct made you want to run for the hills, but instead you fisted your hands in the sheets to anchor yourself.

“Okay,” you repeated, almost like a mantra to keep yourself calm – or at least, looking that way on the outside – as you steeled yourself, leaning closer to Hoseok as you tipped your head to the side to expose the vein that he’d been eyeing so hungrily.

There was a breathless second of anticipation… and then he struck.

Almost absently, you noted the fluid grace to his movements as he grabbed you, the fingers of one hand spearing through the hair at the base of your head to hold your head in that position as the other rested on your shoulder. There was something almost tender about the way his thumb stroked your collarbone. By contrast, the inhuman speed he used to move his head to your neck and sink his teeth into the flesh reminded you that this was no intimate encounter. You were food, and from the muffled moans of satisfaction you could hear coming from Hoseok, a rather delicious meal at that.

Helplessly, you let out a small whimper, your fingers loosening from the sheets. You wondered if it was in your head, or if the slight weakness you felt in your extremities was because of the blood loss. Despite the boys’ assurances that no harm would come to you, the way Hoseok continued greedily gulping down the blood currently gushing into his mouth was definitely cause for concern, you thought.

Just as you were sure you were going to pass out, Hoseok extracted his teeth from your neck, lapping at the wounds to close them and clean the errant rivulets of blood running down your neck. Hopefully he got them all, you thought slightly dizzily. You liked this shirt.

It was nice that Hoseok was still holding on to your hair, you noted as you leaned against his arm. He was basically propping you up at this point.

You were conscious, but just barely, as you felt Hoseok lower you onto the mattress. Yoongi was the first one to step forward, and he pushed your hair out of your face and behind your ear tenderly. “You took too much,” he castigated Hoseok.

“I know,” Hoseok mumbled, looking ashamed.

“No, you’re good.” You didn’t know why, but the misery radiating from Hoseok stirred something in you. Despite how weak you felt, your priority was making him feel better instead of your own self-preservation. “I’m fine, see?” Taking in a deep breath, you tried to push yourself into a sitting position, but the arm you were using to support your weight collapsed, and Yoongi caught you before you flopped back onto the mattress.

“We should let her rest.” Seokjin came closer and rearranged you, tucking you in next to Hoseok. “She’ll need a cookie or something to raise her blood sugar level.”

You meant to get up and protest that you were fine, you could take care of yourself, but you were suddenly so tired and cold, and it was so cozy and comfortable under the sheets that you just let yourself drift off.

--------------------------------

Your head hurt like you were hungover, but you knew that definitely wasn’t the case because there hadn’t been any parties at the manor. With a groan, you turned over and opened your eyes slightly, wincing.

In a flash, Hoseok was there beside you, slowly helping you up. He looked a lot better than he had earlier, his cheeks rounder and fuller, his eyes sparkling again.

“How long have I been out?” you asked, your voice raspy. Immediately, Jungkook appeared, holding a glass of water out for you. You reached out to take it from him, but he refused to hand it over, instead holding it in front of your face.

Annoyed, you sighed. “I’m not an invalid,” you told him, grabbing the cup anyway. He didn’t let go, and in the end, your hand was around his as you both tilted the cup towards you.

When you drained the glass, Jungkook took it away from you, putting it down on the bedside table, before returning to fuss over you.

“You guys, I’m okay,” you protested, trying to push the covers off your body to get out of bed. This clearly wasn’t your room, and you wanted to go back. “Where’s Injeolmi?”

“Jimin’s looking after him,” Hoseok reassured you. “You can go back to your room, just eat something first?” The imploring gaze he levelled on you left you powerless to do anything but nod at him.

Seokjin must have been eavesdropping, because it wasn’t even thirty seconds after that that he appeared in the doorway, holding a giant tray of food that he set down in front of you.

“Where did you get this?” you asked, bemused. You hadn’t seen a bed tray in the manor before, and it wasn’t something you’d have thought seven vampires living alone needed.

“Just laying around,” Seokjin said cagily before taking the covers off the food. A hearty beef stew, rice, and an array of side dishes sat neatly on the tray.

“Wow,” you marvelled as you picked up the spoon. Seokjin, despite being unable to eat, constantly wowed you with his culinary creations. The boys watched over you closely as you stuffed your face merrily, only seeming to relax when you’d finished every last morsel of food and slumped back, spent, against the pillows.

“You should get some more rest,” Seokjin said as he picked up the bed tray and made to leave the room.

You nodded in response. The carb coma was starting to get to you, and you pushed the covers off, intending to go back to your room to sleep it off. The other boys protested, but eventually gave in, on the condition that Jungkook would walk you back to your room.

Thankfully, you made the short walk back without any mishaps. Jimin was still there with Injeolmi when you came in, but after making sure that you were okay, he left too.

“Hey, baby,” you crooned at Injeolmi, who leapt off the couch and came to weave around your ankles. You picked him up and went to sit on your bed, leaning against the pillows. Leaning your head back and staring at the ceiling, your hand came up to your neck. The wounds had healed almost instantly – some sort of supernatural magic, you were sure – but the skin was still tender.

For the first time, the gravity of the situation sank in. What the hell were you doing? Sure, you’d wanted to save Hoseok, and the vampires had been nothing but nice to you, challenging your perception of them, but one split second decision had shackled you to them forever. All your grand ideas of using your newfound freedom to do something more normal with your life, or maybe travel… all gone in a second. You had to be here at the manor now.

Was this really okay? Being a blood bag for Hoseok? It wasn’t as bad as you’d thought, but that was because you’d been prepared to die today. Losing consciousness from blood loss definitely wasn’t great, and if this was going to happen frequently, your health was definitely going to suffer for it.

You were on the brink of spiraling into a panic when you heard a knock on the door.

“It’s open,” you called, not moving from your position to see who it was.

“Hey,” Namjoon said when he entered, standing in the entrance of the room.

“What is it?” you asked, lifting your head off the pillows to look at him. You shifted the hand that had been resting on your neck down to your stomach, but Namjoon had noticed it anyway.

“I went out and bought those brownies from that shop you like,” Namjoon said, holding up the paper bag.

That was sufficient to tempt you, and you sat up on the bed, crossing your legs. “Wow, what’s the occasion?” you asked, holding your hands out for the brownies.

Namjoon shrugged, handing them over. “You need to get your blood sugar levels up.”

“Right,” you said, scooching off the bed to sit on the floor. You weren’t about to get crumbs on your sheets. Namjoon came and sat down next to you, both of you leaning against the bed frame.

“How are you feeling?” he asked as you popped the box open, picking up the little plastic fork that came inside. Salted butterscotch, your favourite flavour.

“I feel a lot better now,” you said, half distracted watching the fork sink into the brownie. You popped it into your mouth and groaned in bliss. This one shop was open at odd hours of the night, and sometimes you used to pop by to grab a snack after your patrol when you’d had a particularly bad week, or when you were expecting your period.

“I can tell,” he responded drily, watching you savour the sweet treat. Despite his deadpan countenance, the fact that he’d managed to make you so happy made joy unfurl in his chest, suffusing him with warmth. “Jin-hyung told me that you finished all the yukgaejang.”

“Mhm,” you hummed around another mouthful of chocolatey goodness.

“I was talking about emotionally, though. A lot happened today. Are you okay with it?” he asked carefully, ducking slightly to get a better look at your face.

That statement stopped you in your tracks. You swallowed the mouthful of food, then laid the fork back into the box and put it on the ground carefully. Reaching up, you took the bottle of water on the bedside table that you were sure Jimin had left for you when he came back with Injeolmi.

You opened it and took a long, slow sip of water. Then another one, as you gathered your thoughts. When you couldn’t drink any more water or draw it out any longer, you bit your lip before speaking slowly and carefully. “I’ll learn to live with it,” you said, trying to tiptoe around it.

Namjoon frowned. “That doesn’t sound promising.”

You shrugged wearily. “What difference does it make? I made a commitment, and I have to see it through.” As you said it, you knew it was the right answer. You’d give up all the new dreams you’d been nurturing deep in your heart since you’d come to terms with your expulsion from the guild, and repay your life debt to the fullest.

Namjoon hummed. “Why do you seem unhappy, then?”

“I just…” You tried to choke back the sob, but your voice went high and weird, and you had to stop to compose yourself. “I’d been thinking about what I could do with my life, now that I’m no longer a hunter, you know? Maybe travel, or pick up new interests, or something. Normal things that normal people in their twenties do.”

“Well, you could still do that,” Namjoon said, bumping his shoulder against yours.

“How? I have to stay in the manor forever. I won’t be able to travel.” Your shoulders slumped, and you leaned slightly into Namjoon, unconsciously seeking his support.

“You know, we used to travel around the world all the time,” Namjoon said lightly. “So don’t rule it out yet. Things might change again.”

You were about to interrupt to question him, but he’d continued speaking. “And if you want to find new interests, I’m sure we can figure something out. Between the seven of us, our interests run the gamut.”

That made you crack a smile. “Really?”

“Really,” Namjoon confirmed, turning to look at you. You brought your knees into your chest and rested your cheekbone on the tops of them, facing him.

“You already know that Jin-hyung loves to cook. Yoongi-hyung likes music and I’m sure he’d be glad to teach you if you asked. Hoseok used to love dancing, although he hasn’t in… a good while.” Namjoon grimaced at the thought. “You’re always welcome in my library or garden, you know that. Jimin… well… you seem to have bonded well over your love for Injeolmi. Taehyung, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, is into fashion and has been dying to revamp your wardrobe.” He gave a little eye roll at that. “And Jungkook, that little muscle pig, is always working out.”

Blinking, you tried to digest all of that. To be frank, you’d never quite bothered to take note of the boys’ individual personalities and interests, something that made you feel a little ashamed now, since it was clear that they’d been so conscientious about you.

“I’ll think about it,” you finally said, shooting Namjoon a small smile. “Thank you.”

He smiled back at you, and feeling a lot better, you picked up the pastry box again.

-----------------------------

“Report.”

“The target was dispatched, sir.” Jennie stood at attention in front of the imposing desk in the Head’s office. Her toes twitched uneasily in her boots, but her gaze remained resolute and steady.

“Excellent. You are dismissed.” With that, Master Bang looked back down at the papers on his desk.

Bowing, Jennie turned to see herself out. It wasn’t until she was back in her room that she allowed herself to relax, sinking onto her knees right in front of her closed door. The bald-faced lie was the last favour she could do her ex-best friend. At least now Master Bang wouldn’t send anyone else after you… at least as long as you were smart enough to lay low.

The moment the door had shut behind Jennie, Master Bang stood up and made his way down the narrow flight of stairs in his bedroom.

“The plan is moving along smoothly, Sir. Y/n has thrown in her lot with the vampire brothers.” There was no way you were actually dead, as Jennie had reported. If you were, he would have a massacre on his hands, led by the born vampires holed up in the manor. Master Bang wondered idly if he should punish Jennie for her dishonesty, but then discarded the idea. He had much bigger fish to fry.

“When I take back my birthright, you will be by my side forever.”

The words warmed Master Bang’s heart. Forever was a long time – just long enough for him to spend with the love of his life.

[r3almellow]

Gavin’s First Time With His S/o

Thanks to the anon that requested this! I must be honest...no amount of writing from me will do Gavin’s First Time with the love of his life justice! Like...I have SOOOO MANY IDEAS! I also didn’t intend for it to be this looooong!  Make sure to hit the read more!

Warning: Smutty

Tagging: @breathe-in-spiration because I love feeding you!

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Your first time with Gavin is one of the sweetest experiences of your life.

Even if you’ve had sex before, he’ll make it feel like its your very first time. 

It probably happens after a night out  with your coworkers after another successful show and he offers to take you home afterwards. 

With it being as late as it is, you invite him to stay. 

Gavin has spent the night twice, but nothing has come from it except heavy make out sessions in your couch.

With the way he kisses you, you’re not sure how you’ve managed this long without jumping his bones. Like goodness... He leaves your lips swollen and you’re practically gasping for air when he pulls away.

Gavin, tries to be the ultimate gentleman when it comes to you. He never wants to force you into anything, but it gets hard (pun intended). Especially when you start grinding on him and the tightness of his pants becomes almost unbearable! He, himself, is not sure how he’s lasted this long. Maybe it was the respect he had for you and the thought of you seeing him as the type that only wanted one thing. 

Tonight, however, the two of you make a mutual decision to take things to the next level.

It’ll start with harmless kisses while the two of you are snuggled up on the couch and end with you taking his hand and leading him into your bedroom. 

This should go without saying, but Gavin will put all his focus on you. He wants to make you feel good in every possible way.

He’s very attentive to your needs and will pay close attention to your movements and the sounds you make. He wants to learn about your body!

Loves leaving kisses along your torso just to have you writhing under him. You’ll be getting a lot of hickeys while hands caress every dip and curve of your body.  

NECK KISSES! Is all for leaving a hickey or three on your neck for people to see.

Feeling insecure? Gavin will pay extra special attention to areas he knows you find unflattering. Worried about stretch marks? Scars? Hate your tummy? You’re absolutely gorgeous in his eyes and he’ll leave a plethora of kisses just about everywhere to make sure you know you’re beautiful. 

Being someone who is really good with his hands, Gavin is a pro with using his fingers. You won’t notice his hands slipping between your legs until you feel him gently glide a finger against your slickness.

And when he slips two fingers inside of you, you can’t help but fuck yourself using his fingers. You’re a goner once he starts using his thumb to brush against your clit.

Rest assured his fingers aren’t the only things you’ll be feeling. You won’t even have to ask, Gavin will willingly eat you out.  And he is so good at it! The way his tongue swivels around your clit then slides along your folds has you losing your mind. He’ll have to hold your hips in place to enjoy his meal. 

You’re going to have to remind him that this is a two way street before he makes you forget your own name. This is supposed to be a pleasurable experience for the both of you, so you have to make that be known.

Once you get him on his back, you show him the same amount of love he gave you just moments ago. 

You kiss every scar you can find as your lips travel down his body. You’re already stroking him before your lips make it to his hardened member, precum seeping from him. 

Whether you’ve done this before or your friends are a great source of information, you’ll leave your man shook. It will take everything he has not to cum right there.

When you can see he’s close, you’ll crawl your way back up to his lips and straddle him, kissing him passionately. You love how you can taste yourself as your tongues mingle together. 

Not breaking the kiss Gavin will roll you two over, reclaiming his position on top. 

Gavin entwins his fingers with yours. His gaze falls upon your flushed body beneath him. When the tip of him presses against your entrance, your breath hitches. His cock slides along your pussy, your juices coating him. 

“Just breathe. I got you.” He’ll say this as he slowly sheaths himself inside of you, groaning as he does so.

Once you’ve grown accustomed to his size he begins moving at an  agonizingly slow pace. This is partially because he wants for you to adjust to his size and the other reason being that he didn’t want to lose himself and hurt you with his recklessness. 

The way you clench around his cock made it extremely hard to hold back. The things he wanted to do to you wasn’t how he wanted your first time with him to go. Gavin made it his mission to be gentle with you, but the way you roll your hips to meet his thrusts has him heavily reconsidering his plans.

You can tell he’s holding back and once you feel comfortable enough you’ll encourage him to give you everything. You want him to give you his all. You want Gavin to let go and enjoy this moment with you.

When you give Gavin the go ahead to let loose, there’s a switch within him that flips and that gentleness you’ve grown accustomed to was replaced with something dangerous. 

The way he fucks you with abandon is surprising but definitely welcomed. He’ll cup your ass with his hands, pulling your lower half up to meet his thrusts. You lock your legs around his waist afraid that you’d lose him if you didn’t. 

With the sound of your bed creaking throughout your room, your skin slapping against his and your moans growing louder with each passing second; you might have to apologize to your neighbors later on.

Gavin will praise you non-stop. 

“You take me so well. Keep making that face for me. You look so beautiful when you moan my name. That’s a good girl....ah...hah... You’re...ah...you’re so amazing.” 

The whole experience will be so emotional. ESPECIALLY with the way he looks down at you with a faint blush coating his cheeks and nothing but love in eyes. You can’t help but cry.  

Gavin knows the reason for your tears. He knows that the love between you was overflowing in this moment. He was sure that he too would succumb to such a powerful feeling as it was too much for his heart.

He’ll lean down, his thrusts slowing  as he kisses your tear stained cheeks. 

“I love you so much.”  He whispers against your skin.

“I-I lov...ahh...” Through soft moans and sharp gasps you try to find the words to respond, but words alone don’t seem to express your true feelings. You love this man so much and sharing such an experience with him meant more than even you realized. 

Using your body is the only way you can properly convey what would have been lost on your tongue. 

You reach for him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a searing kiss. Hopefully this kiss is enough. 

Gavin will apologize, afterwards, if he feels like he was too rough with you. You’ll have to remind him that you’re not made of glass and if you tell him you like how rough he is, he’ll turn super red and try to play it off. 

Gavin is a master of aftercare. He’ll have you cleaned up and a hot bath drawn for you to relax within minutes. If you’re up for it you might get a round two in the shower. 

Expect cuddles soon after. What better way to end a night like this than with the person you love holding you in their arms.

If anyone was wondering, no condoms were used. 

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I don’t know how this happened! My fingers slipped and this was the result. This is the main reason it takes me 2000 years to respond to requests. I have no resolve! 

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this! 

If you want to read more of my work please check out my MLQC stuff here! 

[sapphim]

compiling what I've established of juniper's and the twins' timeline

both twins survive and arrive at kirkwall. by the time they've prepared for the deep roads expedition, the templars are, dangerously close to them, especially given juniper's done nothing in her templar interactions besides draw attention (most of it negative). so june and bethany go into the deep roads, hoping that the heat will die down after an extended absence, leaving carver behind to hold down the fort and take care of mother while they're gone.

carver's not happy about this at all! and the longer the girls are gone the more he begins to fear the worst, and so he joins the templars since he now might be. the sole responsible person who can keep his mother off the streets. and it's about the only job he can get, and it will pay better than most in the long term. and he figures if when the girls do return he'll be in a better position to help them, or at least warn them.

anyway juniper comes home alone after bethany joins the wardens and carver quickly learns that being a templar is even worse than he expected it to be, and he didn't expect it to be good. after three years in the order he's run completely ragged trying to put out the metaphorical fires juniper keeps starting and he really doesn't feel like she appreciates anything he's been doing to help her. he's been writing to bethany (who has been settling in with the wardens, though not thriving) and he times his visits home to leandra to avoid crossing paths with juniper. the two basically aren't talking at this point.

carver gives the prime suspect quest, rather than aveline. he's as concerned about the deaths as emeric and the two have both been investigating what they can and trying to pass this information on to the guard, but aren't getting anywhere, and they're not exactly free to shirk their duties and do something about it. so carver approaches juniper like, "look, this is important, and I don't think aveline has ever respected me, but maybe you can get through to her." so juniper goes to have a not-so-friendly chat with aveline (the two aren't friendly, have deeply conflicting personalities, and are basically just acquaintances after the four years they've known each other, though juniper accepts the off-the-books mercenary work where aveline offers it) but gets stonewalled as well. so juniper starts looking into the matter herself, with carver helping here and there when and where he can.

they put the pieces together too late, leandra dies, and they're both crushed, and highkey blaming themselves for not trying harder and preventing her death. this is the final straw that kills any lingering relationship that might have existed between juniper and aveline. and with leandra's death carver no longer has anything tying him to kirkwall, aside from maybe his friendship with merrill. he's so done.

legacy dlc happens and bethany gets some time off from the wardens to help her siblings investigate the attacks against them. she's grown a lot in three years, she's a lot more confident, she allows herself to take up a lot more space, but like carver she's embittered and weary. she convinces carver to return to amaranthine with her (she's transferred to the fereldan wardens at some point within the past three years - maybe she wanted to move back home, maybe she met nathaniel and swooned a lil) and he doesn't look back.

then ofc as soon as carver's gone juniper duels the arishok and is outed as a mage lmfao. but she's varric's problem now.

act 3 and after I'm still a little shaky on. the wardens are back in kirkwall following up on the corypheus fiasco when the twins run into junie in the finale. they both stay to help with the conflict, and afterward carver returns to the wardens (he's fucking thriving killing monsters for a living and good for him) but beth is. burnt out. she remains in kirkwall to help with the fallout. so does merrill. they kiss, maybe.

june goes to starkhaven w sebastian after kirkwall. she gets to be the big bossy princess of starkhaven for a brief while (which delights her) but eventually with the mage-templar conflict heating up the way it does seb manages to convince her and isabela to go take a looooong vacation on a boat somewhere far away, which is why she's mysteriously missing at the end of da2/start of inquisition.

oh maybe bethany and merrill also fuck off for a while on isabela's boat? I like that. anders can come too, though he'll be third-wheeling it. just a big ol apostate party boat. they've earned it.

[woodstockbtswriter]

Voyagers

Genre: Fluff/Headcanon

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader (Female)

Summary: A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to join BTS on a Bon Voyage adventure leads to once-in-a-lifetime love.

Warning(s): Some mentions of physical intimacy, but nothing detailed or graphic.

Author’s Note: So... this is it. This is the end. And as promised, it is looooong. You might want to find some snacks and a comfy spot before we get started. I probably could have broken this up into 3 or 4 more parts but, here it is. Please note, my SMAU Sentimental and my drabble Love both fit into this part, and I’ve added links where they should be read.

I can’t believe how far we’ve come! This story is my baby, and I’m so immensely grateful for all the love and support it has received! As relieved as I am to finish it, it is hard to let go, so it’s entirely possible that I may write some bonus chapters in the future. Although, I tried to fit so much into this epilogue, I’m not sure what’s left to say! So anyway, for the last time, please, PLEASE enjoy! 💕

GIF Credit: MONOSUGA

Masterlist

Epilogue

Leaving New Zealand

Yoongi promised he’d take care of everything, and he meant it

You learned that maybe an hour after he snuck out of your room, when one of the producers stopped you as you were lugging your suitcase down the hall

You recognized him as the same producer who’d requested you spend less time with Yoongi, and you worried you were in trouble

But to your astonishment, he apologized for suggesting anything, saying it was never his intention to make things difficult for you and he meant no disrespect

He then informed you that he personally made all the arrangements for you to fly to Korea with the boys instead of returning home

And as he bowed and wished you all the best, you realized Yoongi must have spoken with him

You were touched that he kept his word, and made sure to thank him as soon as you found him out in the main area of the house

All the members and the crew were bustling about the living room and kitchen, hurrying to pack up and clear out

But you dared to give Yoongi a quick, grateful hug, and a blush spread across his cheeks

Hoseok noticed and froze in his tracks, shooting you a look

So you guessed it was as good a time as any to let the other boys know you’d be joining them on their flight home

(Though you’d have to wait until you were all alone to tell them exactly why)

They were all happy and excited, but none more than Hoseok

He scooped you up in his arms and twirled you around, squealing

And when he set you back down, he whispered in your ear that he wanted to hear all the details later

With a laugh, you promised to tell him everything as soon as you got the chance

Not much later, everyone was all loaded up, and you made your way to the airport

Leaving New Zealand was bittersweet

Your week there with the boys had been one of the best of your life

But you were excited to have another whole week with Yoongi

And you were particularly looking forward to more privacy

Though you knew it wouldn’t be much more

The Bangtan boys were constantly in the public eye

And that meant that - even though filming for Bon Voyage was over - you and Yoongi still had to maintain some distance when you weren’t alone

That much was apparent the moment you arrived at the airport in Christchurch

Yoongi had held your hand the whole drive, but released it before exiting the vehicle and didn’t take it again

But you still sat next to each other on the plane, and enjoyed talking and watching movies together during the long flight

And everything about it just felt so comfortable and normal and… right

That is, until you ultimately arrived at the Incheon airport, and the reality of dating an idol became even clearer

Dozens of paparazzi and fans were gathered, obviously aware that BTS was due to return that day

The crowd fluttered to life as soon as your group came around the corner, cameras flashing and girls calling out

And when they caught sight of you with the members, they became even more frantic

But Yoongi subtly kept you close behind him, shielding you from the mob as best he could

And the other boys formed a circle around you until you made it out of the airport and into a waiting car

Then when you were safely behind tinted windows, Yoongi finally took your hand again

And he expressed his regret that you had to endure that scene, seeming worried that you’d have second thoughts

But you reassured him that you could handle the craziness, and promised him that he was worth it to you

He was visibly relieved when you said that

With a smile and a squeeze of your hand, he assured you he would look out for you

And promised that you were worth it to him, too

First Night in Seoul

When you arrived at their luxury apartment in the heart of Seoul, Yoongi and the boys gave you the grand tour first thing

It was a little surreal to actually be there when you’d only ever seen it in videos

But you noticed how much more relaxed the boys seemed the moment they walked in the door, and could tell how happy they were to be home

And you felt instantly at home, too

Which was a good thing, because Yoongi informed you that you would be staying at their apartment with them all week

You would have been more than happy with a hotel room, you told him, your mouth hanging open

You would have even taken a bunk in a hostel, as long as you were close to him

But Yoongi insisted, saying you could stay in his room, and he’d sleep on the couch

Or you could share his bed, he mumbled so only you could hear, if that was what you were most comfortable with

With a suppressed smile, you told him you’d think about it, and you resumed your tour of the apartment feeling unreasonably flushed

After you’d seen the whole apartment, the boys ordered dinner (Jimin’s treat, of course)

And as everyone tucked in, Namjoon raised his glass

He proposed a celebratory toast, to a successful Bon Voyage, to returning home, to you - their new friend

And to Yoongi-hyung falling in love

The other members cheered enthusiastically in agreement, tapping their glasses together

Which caused you to grin, and Yoongi to groan

Namjoon, Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook wasted no time recounting their version of events, filling Jin and Jimin in on anything they might have missed

And you happily supplied any further details they lacked, like the fact that you and Yoongi were now officially together

All the boys teased Yoongi mercilessly for being so soft

And Yoongi was a grumbling, blushing mess all the while

But you could feel the love behind their mocking

And they made sure you knew - despite their joking - how truly happy they all were for both of you

By the time dinner was over, everyone was exhausted and ready to call it a night

You hadn’t given a lot of thought to the sleeping arrangements since Yoongi first mentioned them

But as he made up his bed for you with clean sheets and extra pillows, you knew you didn’t want to sleep in his room without him

And when you asked him to stay, Yoongi needed no convincing

He quickly slipped beneath the covers with you, hugging you tightly against his body and pressing kisses to the back of your neck and into your hair

And that was how you spent the whole night, curled up together, sleeping blissfully

And though you’d be lying if you said the idea of doing something other than sleeping never crossed your mind…

Just being able to spend the night together without any fear of being caught in the morning was enough

For the time being, anway

Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Your extra week with Yoongi in Korea, like your week in New Zealand, was one you’d never forget

The boys had full schedules, consisting of everything from rehearsals to filming to recording to appearances, but Yoongi continued to keep his promise

He arranged for you to accompany them to everything, so you were able to spend a lot of time all together

And you naturally continued to grow closer and closer to all of the boys

Especially Hoseok

He remained your biggest ally and most trusted confidant, and you quickly became best friends

Those hours of downtime in dressing rooms were some of the most fun of your week

They were also some of the longest, as you spent many of them waiting on the boys to fulfil their responsibilities

But their staff members were very accommodating - having been instructed to respect and protect you - and you even made friends with a few of the the stylists

When the guys didn’t have obligations, Yoongi spent every waking (and non-waking) moment with you

On the second day of your stay, Yoongi gave you a private tour of Genius Lab

At first, he seemed shy and self-conscious about showing you such an important part of his life

But when he sat in front of his computer, Yoongi casually pulled you down to sit with him, reaching his arms around you and resting his chin on your shoulder as he played you a couple of beats

And next thing you knew you were turned around on his lap, exchanging heated kisses as Yoongi leaned back in his office chair

Eventually, you forced yourselves to leave the studio

But not before Yoongi gave you the passcode, and told you to feel free to use it anytime

Which you did, every chance you got

You loved to see him in his element, and were content to just sit and listen to him work for hours

You’d thumb through his Ikea catalogs while you listened, nodding along to his beats

And you often brought him coffee or lunch, to keep his energy up

On the third day, you found time to play some one-on-one basketball

Which Yoongi let you win

And you let him think he let you win

You also cooked dinner together a few nights

Stole a nap together more than once

Binge-watched The Lord of the Rings together

And spent every night secure in each other’s arms

Yoongi may have been worried he couldn’t be the kind of boyfriend you wanted

But he was

He absolutely was

Completely unlike his cold, unfeeling, disinterested, tough-guy persona, he was nothing but soft and caring with you

Just as you’d always known he would be

And the first time he referred to you as his girlfriend - on the fourth day, when he told Jin to stop bothering you with his dad jokes - it made your heart skip a beat

You still had to be mindful in public and around cameras, but it wasn’t as bad as you thought, and it got easier every day

In fact, Yoongi found it remarkable how well - and how quickly - you were able to adapt to his chaotic life

Last Night in Seoul

Before you knew it, it was your final night in Korea

As you as laid together in Yoongi’s bed - after having shared your last meal with all the members - your head and heart were both fit to burst

You couldn’t bear the thought of saying goodbye to Yoongi in the morning

Especially without telling him you loved him

And when Yoongi kissed you slowly and deeply...

After his eyes caressed your face as he told you how breathtakingly beautiful you are…

You were overcome by the desire to show him - physically - how much you loved him

Your hands fumbled to grasp his shirt, and pull it up over his head

But Yoongi stopped you as soon as he realized your intent

“Not like this,” He said

Not rushed

Not urgent

Not desperate

As much as he wanted you - and he wanted you very much - he didn’t want to take this step just because you were leaving the next day and felt like you were out of time

He wanted to wait until the moment was right

When he could take his time with you, and treat you the way you deserved to be treated

You couldn’t help but be disappointed by his response

But deep down you appreciated how much he respected you, and you knew he was right

So you only stayed up talking that night

And as hard as it was, you refrained from ever blurting out, “I love you”

Because you wanted to wait for the right moment, too

“Home” At Last

Leaving Korea the next morning was one of the hardest things you ever had to do

But you managed to save your tears until after you hugged all the boys, kissed Yoongi, and climbed into the car that would take you to the airport

Before you left, Yoongi bought a return ticket for you to visit again the next month

And you promised each other to keep in constant contact until then

But as the driver pulled away from the boys’ apartment complex and you waved to each other until you were out of sight…

You felt like you were leaving half of yourself behind

Sentimental 

When you were finally home, it seemed as though you had been gone much longer than 2 weeks

And, if you were honest, it didn’t really feel like home anymore

You tried to return to your normal routine, to immerse yourself in your work that you loved

But now that you knew what it was like to have Yoongi in your life, normal life felt…

Empty without him

You kept in touch and communicated through texts and calls everyday

Any spare minute Yoongi could find in his hectic schedule, he would video chat with you

He always made time for you, and always made an effort to be open and vulnerable with you

And though he rarely said it in so many words, you could tell he missed you just as much as you missed him

Hearing Yoongi’s deep voice and seeing his handsome face always put you at ease

But no call was ever long enough

And after one particularly brief conversation, you idly began researching how to apply for a visa

You also hated not saying “I love you” every time you said goodbye

But you didn’t want the first time you told Yoongi to be over the phone

So you made up your mind that the next time you saw him, you would tell him no matter what 

Firsts

Finally, after what felt like a never-ending month, you found yourself back in Yoongi’s studio

And in his arms - where you’d been longing to be - as he played a new song for you

It was softer and more melodic than his usual style

He sang along to the music, his voice smooth and low, and you quickly realized…

It was a love song

And when the last notes faded out, he admitted that he wrote it for you

With tears brimming in your eyes, you couldn’t contain yourself any longer

Your words spilling out of you, you told Yoongi you loved the song

And you loved him

So, so much

Yoongi wiped your tears with a soft smirk

That’s what he was going to say

You stole the words right out of his mouth, he teased you

You chuckled, apologizing, but Yoongi shook his head

And as he kissed you tenderly, he said he loved you

So, so much

He’d been falling for you all along, he told you, but when you left last month…

He immediately noticed how empty his studio, his bed, his life, and his heart, felt without you

And that was when he realized he was completely in love with you

It was impossible to describe how you felt hearing Yoongi speak those 3 little words

Finally being able to say those 3 little words to him felt almost as good

And you looked forward to saying - and hearing - them often from then on out

For the rest of the day, Yoongi could hardly keep his hands off of you

And later that night, he did more than say “I love you”

Though he did say it, over and over

But he also showed you how much he loved you

Physically, for the first time

And contrary to most fanfiction you’d come across, Yoongi was not rough

In reality, he was gentle and sweet and soft and caring and loving and patient and giving and...

Perfect

Everything about that night was perfect

And more than worth the wait

Yoongi marveled at and worshiped every inch of you

He made you feel so loved

And beautiful 

And good

More than once

You didn’t take a single moment of the experience for granted

You were mindful to appreciate every detail, to admire everything about Yoongi

And you made sure he felt just as loved - and as good - as you did

That visit was a turning point for your relationship

Yoongi had made it clear - in more ways than one - that any fear he may have felt about falling in love was long gone

And when you returned home, your mind was made up

So you secretly began applying for a work visa in earnest

Because seeing the man you loved so infrequently was only getting harder and harder to bear

Bon Voyage On Air

The next time you visited Yoongi was another month later

And your season of Bon Voyage premiered that same week

So with plenty of snacks and drinks, you gathered in the dorm living room with all the boys and watched the first episode together

Seeing the footage of your incredible journey brought back so many feelings and memories, and it was so fun to reminisce with everyone

But you noticed the editors made suggestive comments every time you and Yoongi were on screen together

Nothing obvious, just subtle little remarks about how cute you were around each other and how fond you seemed to be of one another

You hoped it wouldn’t be enough to make viewers suspect anything about the true nature of your relationship

But the other members noticed, and it was enough for them to tease you and Yoongi

A few weeks later, after several episodes of Bon Voyage had aired, it came to your attention that ARMY had picked up on the chemistry between you and Yoongi

Speculation as to whether you were dating was all over the internet

A lot of fans eagerly shipped you together

As Yoongi had predicted, they found you very likeable, and it was easy to see how well you got along

But there were also plenty of “fans” who had some not very nice things to say about you

Yoongi comforted you when you saw some of the negative comments, and begged you to not worry about any of it

He assured you that things would blow over

And if they didn’t…

Well, you’d deal with that when the time came

The Holiday Season

The next month, BTS had several appearances scheduled in the U.S., so Yoongi arranged for you to meet up with them

One event was a Christmas concert, and you agreed to exchange gifts afterwards because you wouldn't be able to be together Christmas day

You gave Yoongi an authentic chef’s coat with his name embroidered, and a certificate for a couples cooking class

Both of which he moaned and grumbled about

But you knew by the way his eyes twinkled that he was touched, and that he secretly loved his gift

Yoongi gave you a gorgeous, one-of-a-kind light fixture he’d commissioned from a local artist in Seoul

And when you opened the box, you found yourself doing something you never imagined you would do:

Crying over a lamp

Yoongi looked scared when he saw the tears running down your cheeks

But when you managed to articulate that they were happy tears and you loved your present, he grinned and you pulled him into a crushing hug

The week between Christmas and New Year’s, you received word that your work visa had finally been approved

BTS was going to perform in Times Square on New Year’s Eve, so you planned tell Yoongi the good news then

You had to wait behind the scenes while he and the boys were onstage during the countdown

But Yoongi kissed you the moment they returned to the dressing room

And when you told him that you were moving to Korea, he was so stunned he didn’t know what to say

The other members reacted so enthusiastically to your announcement - jumping, dancing, and shouting - that you wouldn’t have heard Yoongi speak anyway

But you could see the tears gathering in his eyes, and they - along with his gummy smile - told you everything he couldn’t say

Moving to South Korea

Over the next month, you happily packed up your entire life and moved to Seoul

Though you didn’t have an apartment lined up yet, you did manage to find an amazing job opportunity with a local interior design company

But all of the guys urged you to not to wait any longer, because they’d be releasing their new album soon and would be busier than ever

They were only too happy to let you stay with them until you found your own place

You didn’t want to take advantage of their hospitality but, once again, Yoongi promised he’d take care of everything

It was only when you were standing inside an empty but beautiful, luxury apartment in an upscale neighborhood not far from the dorms, that you realized how he intended to keep his promise

Yoongi explained that even though all 7 boys chose to still live together, several of them actually owned their own homes

They kept them mostly as investments, but they occasionally came in handy

Like now, when you needed a place to live

The apartment you were in was Yoongi’s private suite

And he wanted you to have it

You tried to decline, saying he was being way too generous and you couldn’t accept

But he insisted

He wanted you close by, he wanted you to be somewhere safe

And he liked the idea of sharing his home with you

But if it would make you feel better, he smirked, he could always charge you rent

You were still hesitant

But then he showed you around the place, pointing out his favorite architectural details, telling you about his plans for its design, and asking you for your professional opinion...

And he was just so cute and eager you couldn’t refuse

So you moved in right away, and you and Yoongi thoroughly enjoyed working together to pick all the paint colors, the furniture, the decorations, and - especially - the light fixtures

As always, you were a great team

Your Christmas present was the perfect final, finishing touch to your new home

And though Yoongi maintained his main residence with the other members…

He probably spent more time at your place than at the dorms 

Isolated Together

The next few months were hectic, for you and the boys

You were adjusting to living and working in a new city, and they were gone a lot to promote their new album (which you loved)

But you were so proud of them, and remained their biggest fan, always cheering them on and supporting them

And Yoongi never failed to make time for you

Whether it was by sharing a cup of coffee, a meal, or the couch while you watched a show

Yoongi always took the time to remind you how much he loved you

So you never once regretted your decision to move to Korea

Then a global pandemic turned life upside down

All the members were deeply disappointed when they had to cancel their world tour, and you were heartbroken for them

You knew better than most how hard they’d been preparing for it

But they stayed positive, and took advantage of the unexpected extra time, relaxing and trying new hobbies while in isolation

You were able to work remotely during that time, and stayed at the dorms with Yoongi and the boys

And you cherished the opportunity to be together even more often

You spent a lot of time in Yoongi’s studio as he put the finishing touches on his mixtape

But you also enjoyed several leisure activities together

Like painting

And playing video games (You dominated Mario Kart, but he was the surprising champion of Just Dance)

You even convinced Yoongi to sew a few throw pillows with you for your couch

Then as the release date for Yoongi’s mixtape approached, you accompanied him to the set of the music video for his first single

And your jaw dropped when you saw him in his costume

He looked amazing

Amazingly hot

Because he’d dyed his hair black a few days prior and you missed his light-colored locks, seeing Yoongi in a long blonde wig was particularly…

Exciting

And you may have bribed the costume department to let him keep the outfit

Your relationship progressed a lot in those months, and you grew to understand and respect each other on a deeper level

Though some couples naturally got on each other’s nerves the more time they spent together, the opposite was true for you and Yoongi

Sure, you disagreed occasionally, but you never fought

Yoongi was infinitely patient with you, and often told you that you had calming effect on him

Your personalities were just so compatible, and things only got easier and better the longer you were together 

And as it became increasingly apparent how well both of you - together, as a couple - worked…

It became harder and harder to imagine your lives without one another 

The Secret’s Out

After Yoongi’s mixtape was released and saw much success, you were ridiculously proud of him

You blasted his songs every chance you got, and constantly showered him with praise

But with so much media attention focused on Yoongi, ARMY once again started getting suspicious about your relationship

Rumors about you moving to Korea had been circulating for a while

And despite taking extra care to stay off camera whenever one of the boys went live, it somehow got out that you were in quarantine with them

What’s more, it wasn’t hard for ARMY to notice how happy Yoongi had been

Eventually, it got to the point where management felt like they needed to be involved

The higher ups at Big Hit wanted to deny everything, and were sure they could convince the public that you were just a friend - to all the members

But after some long talks and careful consideration, you and Yoongi decided that you didn’t want to deny or hide anything anymore

You knew how you felt about each other, and you knew it wasn’t going to change

You were in each other’s lives for good

So the company released a statement confirming your relationship, saying you’d been together since Bon Voyage wrapped

And the internet exploded

A K-Pop idol publicly dating someone was highly unprecedented

But to your relief, the majority of ARMYs were supportive

And they advocated that if Yoongi was happy, everyone should be happy for him

Of course there were still others who felt you didn’t deserve him, or that Yoongi should leave the group

But together you were able to disregard any hate, and just enjoy being with each other openly

A little while later, after the initial shock of your relationship announcement had worn off, the Bon Voyage producers contacted you

Due to the ongoing pandemic, they’d made some adjustments to the show’s format

They’d decided to film in an isolated location in Korea instead of traveling outside the country, and they changed the name to In the Soop

And since you and Yoongi were public now, and because your inclusion in the previous season had been such a success…

They invited you to join BTS for another adventure

Love

Previous

Taglist: @bucky-thorin-winchester​ @yvemoon​ @serpentiinequeen​ @neilpoetssociety​ @narcissism-iskey​ @kaitswrld

[madsdefencesquad]

It's frustrating that the majority of this is us fans online now think Madison is selfish, unreasonable and asking Kevin to give up his acting career. Like did we watch the same episode? And is it obvious that this reaction to Madison was not the writers' intention at all. Even producer K.J. Steinberg had to defend Madison to an interviewer about being selfish. Because they seemed to have turned alot of the online audience against Madison, it seems like they will have to put in a lot of work to

I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how much I erupted at the general audience absolutely ripping Mads for this episode when she did not show a single shred of selfishness in this episode. Like not one! Of course, one can argue that there are some things that can be re-worded or whatever but the overall message is still very apparent. * SIGHS * In saying that though, I do have some thoughts on Kevin which we’ll discuss below (warning: it’s gonna get looooong LOL)

Kevin gets a call that shooting has changed locations to Vancouver and he refuses to go because of his commitment to Madison and their kids despite it obviously destroying him.

Like, look at how devastated he is. And then he turns around and tries to hide his devastation but Madison sees through it and she calls him out by asking him what the hell has happened and he explains why, and what does Madison do?!!

She PUSHES him to go despite knowing that she has entered her last trimester, the most crucial part in a pregnancy because hellooooooo she can give birth any time now (!!!!). Like, Madison knows Kevin so well that if he doesn’t finish the movie that means so much to him and that he’s worked so hard for, then he’ll just be miserable, and Madison doesn’t want that for him because she cares about him. LIKE SO MUCH SO THAT SHE SACRIFICES HAVING HIM THERE WHEN SHE NEEDS HIM THE MOST aspodihsfjkl

Like this is her after she lets him go. Madison literally only had to give him a quick kiss and a “Go on and pack” and Kevin, for his part, didn’t even hesitate nor try to fight her that he should stay because he knows that he should. He just went!! And look, I’m not trying to gripe on Kevin here but he could have at least shown even just a tad resistance despite Madison’s logical argument, but let’s not get into that now...

BUT what I will go over is THE POINTS MADE by Randall when it came to Kevin and taking care of people and being committed to them.

Let me point out this particular gem in Season 4, episode 16 between Randall and Kevin when it came to taking care of Rebecca and knowing what was best for her. Randall says,

“And how’s that Kev? Because of all the times you’ve been spending with her for the past few weeks? Because you took her to one doctor’s appointment? I’ve been taking care of mom for twenty years... We both know at any minute, you can take off for Morrocco and do a movie...”

Now look, we can rationalise either one of the brother’s sides in this confrontation, but we cannot take away the truth from Randall’s words here. If we replaced it with Madison’s situation, then this is what we’ll have:

Quarantining together, Kevin’s been taking care of Madison for a few months, about 4-6 give or take, and has been there for her during some appointments (I say “some�� because COVID has changed things), and he obviously has been of great help to her mentally, emotionally and physically. However, Kevin has not known Madison for longer than two years and even now, they’re still getting to know each other. But Madison obviously has known herself all her life. And because of COVID, we know that Kevin hasn’t exactly been working, but now that he is, ooop Randall’s words about Kevin having to go and jet off at any minute actually occurs... Kevin has to go to Vancouver in just hours notice.

Even though Kevin thrives at taking care of other people and he’s really good at it, Kevin still hasn’t grasped what it means to truly devote themselves to someone sacrificially. And I mean, putting someone else’s needs before his.

Let’s go to the very controversial argument in the s4 finale where Randall says:

“How dare you pretend that you give a rat’s ass about what anyone else wants other than you? You want mom to spend more time with the family because you want mom to decide with you. You, you, you.”

Now, this line is really crucial in Kevin and Madison’s “argument” in the bedroom. Of course, Randall’s words are much harsher but there’s a truth there: when Kevin proposes his jet-setting family idea to Madison, his persuasion technique is to glam it up (”what about private jet-setting all over the world”) to almost entice Madison to decide with him with what he wants/pictures. AND when Madison reminds him of his commitment to her and the kids, Kevin goes for the offense of “I didn’t realise that where we live was as important as being a family.”

Of course, one can argue that yes Kev, home is where the heart is blah blah, but the point here is Kevin wasn’t taking into consideration what the other person wants, and in this case what Madison wants/pictures, exactly what Randall was saying before.

And then Randall goes:

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Kevin. You have no idea what it means to actually take care of people... I stayed and took care of our family... you’ll never know what it’s like to devote yourself to anyone other than yourself.”

Now, the meaty bit. Yes, over the seasons we’ve seen Kevin grow and mature and develop. Yes, we’ve seen him devote himself to the betterment of Nicky. BUT, we have not actually seen him show the kind of sacrificial devotion/commitment that Randall was talking about when it comes to taking care of a family, and in this case their own family.

Randall sacrificed his dreams of going to a college that he wanted so badly to go to because he knew that his mother needed him. That he couldn’t leave her alone. That her needs came first... at least for then. But because he was so devoted and committed to taking care of his mother, Randall not only graduated and became successful afterwards, he also got the best of them all: Beth.

Now, with Kevin. Madison is Kevin’s opportunity to DO WHAT RANDALL DID (”What would Randall do?” right, Kev?) for his own family.

Madison wasn’t selfishly asking him to quit acting for her or for the kids, she was asking him to think through his commitment, his all in, and what that actually truly means for him in the context of the above (my girl @thesocietalmisfit made a more eloquent post here). 

The writers are telling us to focus on Kevin, to not take our eyes off him because he’s in a pivotal moment now: will he change and finally make decisions for other people apart from himself or will he not and stay the same and lose those whom he cares for and loves?

Anywayy, I’m sorry this took such a long turn, I just really needed to get that out of my chest. But as far as the audience is concerned and how the writers need to do a lot more work to turn people around into going for Madison I have two thoughts:

1. Hating on Madison in this episode for the number of ridiculous reasons all stemming from a form of misogyny yeah I went there, shows that the general TIU demographic are the kinds of people, who needs to be spoon fed information/nuance/implication and sometimes even just what’s right in front of them that they still somehow miss. And I’m sorry, but if you fall in this category, then you’re not going to enjoy not just the development of Kevison’s journey but the others’ also. Remember how much flack Kate was getting for being “awful” at Toby but this one ep of her going full queen of empowerment and everyone’s suddenly Team Kate? Yeah, the audience is fickle. And look, there will always be haters, and haters gonna hate for no reason (or the most absurd), so the writers can’t do much about that.

2. There’s a reason why they’re showing us Kevison already at this very important cross-roads in as early as episode 3 and now 5 and that’s because they’ve got all the loved-up, full romantic Kevison (that they know is the greatest appeal to the audience) coming. I really don’t doubt it. So many people turned into Kevison fans literally after watching them be all adorbs in the premiere and in ep 3 when they were all vulnerable. IMAGINE when they’re actually showing them fully in love with each other + being dedicated parents? THE. SERVE.

[textsfromninjagoblog]

⛩Dissecting the Book of Spinjitzu: Actual Stretches or Utter Bullshit?⛩

An over 600 follower special!

I haven’t seen anyone talk about the Book of Spinjitzu lately, and definitely haven’t seen many analyses’ of it so figured it’d be a cool treat to celebrate the long-since-overshot milestone!

Fair warning, like when I get into far too much detail with anything regarding the show, this could get looooong.

So for those who don’t know, the Book of Spinjitzu is a work akin to Gravity Fall’s Journal number 3 as it is the defictionalized publication of Sensei Wu’s journal. It covers events from his childhood up to season 11 and possibly beyond as the foreshadowing and world building here is top notch!

One section before the events of season 1/2 kicks off details Wu’s basic training regimen for the ninja, which is a very different list than the popular one that was circling around of Lloyd’s Green Ninja training.

It’s very interesting as it actually provides diagrams (in classic Lego art-styling of course) of various moves, from stretches to strikes.

Now I’ve been curious to see if the stretches listed are actually IRL ones in Ninjago packaging since I got the book, so that’s where we’ll start off.

(If this blows up I may do a Part 2 covering the strikes, but that could take a while as researching martial arts in relation to Spinjitzu gets convoluted very, very quickly.)

Leg Warm Up:

While at first glance this just appears to be a cheeky reference to how you move a minifigure’s legs, but nonetheless I decided to see if it was plausible.

Now, the first instruction listed here is an actual stretch, referred to as a Standing Lunge Stretch. It’s designed to loosen up something called the Psoas muscle, which is at the base of your spine and acts as a connection to the legs, as well as a stabilizer for the body’s core. Since it’s chef function is to move the hips, this is an excellent stretch for a kick and rotation heavy martial art like Spinjitzu!

(And in my reading this stretch helps counteract damage caused by looong periods of sitting so it’s also a quick way to stay ninja while in quarantine. XD)

Shockingly, the rest isn’t just describing a minifig walk cycle, but it’s actually an IRL dynamic stretch!

Specifically a Forward Leg Swing, which is designed to loosen the hamstring as well as hips. Not only does this fit in with the above as being an excellent choice for Spinjitzu, but it’s also a recommended stretch before running, which the ninja sure do a lot of!

Arm Warm Up:

Fairly simple, and once again appears to be another reference to minifig movement on the surface. But hey, the last one had an IRL equivalent so why not this one?

Here’s where things get interesting. The Arm Swing IS an IRL set of dynamic stretches, however not just with the overly simplistic instructions given here. This is only technically the first part of the set and even then not fully explained.

In the real stretch, after those movements, you swing your arms out to the side and then cross them over your torso, which works the muscles of the shoulders, back, and chest.

A very good stretch for the ninja’s line of work, but the instructions given here are truly just a tongue in cheek nod to the minifigures. Verdict? Somewhat Bullshit.

Head Warm Up:

Now this one I knew from experience was a tried and true stretch, I do it all the time! Nonetheless, I was curious about the technical side of it, as I learned it in passing from my stepdad.

In professional terms, the first set of instructions pretty much describes the IRL Side Rotation to a tee!

As for the second set of instructions? That’s a Forward and Backward Tilt, once again perfectly described!

These obviously work your neck as well as the shoulders, and it’s awesome to see something accurately taught in an unexpected place!

Hip Warm Up:

Here is one that actually looks like it could be genuine, but does it hold up?

Honestly? Not really.

In the many, many health websites I visited to research this list, most of the hip stretches were in laying positions, or involved the legs in some way. I even searched up core stretches/exercises and nothing matched!

So, in the name of science, I followed the instructions myself....and I felt absolutely nothing being stretched. It’s essentially a toned down version of when you hula-hoop, and honestly didn’t do anything even with the hands on hips version.

So I really want to call Bullshit^tm, but I swear I’ve seen athletes do this before so I’m honestly at a loss here.

The Verdict:

Overall, it looks like the author of the book managed to accurately research some information, while just kinda filling in the blanks in other areas.

What was truly impressive was that the stretches that I thought for sure wouldn’t have IRL equivalents actually did, while the one that seemed pretty tame didn’t!

In short, it was far more accurate than expected!

The book on it’s own, with no outside instructions, could provide an outlet for the kiddos of the target audience to get some energy out but for a fan expecting an actual regimen, it should be taken with a dash of salt unless you take the time to look up the moves from actual heath and fitness resources.

(IRL photos courtesy of the University of Kansas)

[grisdidthis]

CHAPTER ONE: FIRST SIGHT

AKA, blessed fucknuggets, why do these fools feel the need to put themselves through high school, my sources tell me that the US school system isn’t all that to begin with, what gives?

PREVIOUS ENTRIES

(Warning: this got long. Looooong. Hence, cut, so that I don’t murder your dash like Edward doesn’t murder Bella in this chapter.)

Welcome to the first entry of a live-read that no one asked for, in which I’ll go through the first chapter of Midnight Sun, i.e. a retelling of the first Twilight book from Edward Cullen’s POV. Not to be confused with Grey, a retelling of the first volume of a Twilight fanfic with the serial numbers filed off, or the Life and Death edition, a retelling of the first Twilight book in which Bella Swan is genderbent into a dude called Beau, who utters the immortal line “I knew I must look like a gorilla on a greyhound.” Which still tickles my humerus to this day.

I’ve waited for this novel to drop so long that at some point I’d stopped waiting. If by some freaky turn of chance you stumbled on this without knowing about the hoopla surrounding the publication, here’s a Wikipedia link. The gist is that the first few chapters of the WIP got leaked, the author got upset, the book got shelved until ??? and no further information about it was forthcoming until a while ago, when out of the blue arrive the news that it’s getting released in August.

My first thought was “Oh, yay, something actually NICE is happening this year!”

My second thought was “Please let it be good, so that I can laugh outrageously at [name redacted] for mocking my enjoyment of this series!” And. Look. I know what’s said about Twilight with regards to its literary merit and Stephenie Meyer’s abilities as a writer. A lot of it is admittedly accurate. However, the metrics by which I measure the value of a book are a) did it entertain me? and b) did I gain anything by having read it? And yeah, those are personal and subjective items, but objectivity is a lie, Jesus enjoys using toasters to take selfies, and if ten years ago I hadn’t been looking for a place to post my 50k+ epic Renesmee-centric fanfic, I wouldn’t have met the people who are currently my best friends.

Which is to say: I’m too attached to this series to give a fig what color the prose is. Deal.

And yet. Me hoping that Midnight Sun would be good, in a way that people who don’t have my level of emotional investment might acknowledge, wasn’t… that farfetched?  Because the last book Meyer released before this one, The Chemist? Is an improvement on all her previous work. A huge improvement! It’s competently written! The characters read like they were intended to be flawed, messy people.

The main romance isn’t the kind of fucked up that Bella and Edward’s is, where you can pen treatises on why they’re omg so unhealthy. It’s the kind of fucked up where five seconds after meeting her love interest, the protagonist drugs him unconscious, kidnaps him, sticks a urinary catheter up his ding dong, straps him to a table and tortures him for information until the guy’s ex-CIA identical twin drops a plane on the barn they’re in and crashes through the ceiling all “HANDS OFF MY BABY BROTHER YOU DISCOUNT MATA HARI!”

Then they all make friends and go on a road trip together because a shady government organization is after them.

That’s not a fucked-up relationship that you write an essay analyzing the fucked-up-ness of. It’s something you stare at, stunned and, if you’re me, torn between thinking “Holy shit, this is so my brand of heroine!!!” and “How much crack was Auntie Steph on when she wrote this?” And it’s beautiful. I want ten more like it. So my hopes for Midnight Sun are tempered by the knowledge that, being a retelling of an established narrative, it can’t go all-out with the batshit. But I’m still optimistic that some part of it will give me that warm “Awww, you’ve come a long way from where we first met, author! Good on you!” feeling.

Now let’s (finally!) get started on the chapter proper.

…oh wait there’s an author’s note.

…uhm. Yeah. My dreams. About those. *fixed stare at faraway bonfire* Actually, let’s not talk about those and just move on to Edward Not Liking High School, thank you. Yeah. That’s good.

Edward Cullen doesn’t like high school. Edward doesn’t like that people think. Edward doesn’t like that the human student body is beside itself with the arrival of some new chick. Edward thinks his adopted siblings are super basic. (Rosalie = shallow, Emmett = simple, Jasper = psycho two seconds away from jumping off his chair and going on a rampage.) We don’t get to hear his utterly unbiased assessment of Alice, because she butts in and starts a one-sided telepathic convo about how Jasper is two seconds away from jumping off his chair and going on a rampage. You know. Normal sibling stuff.

WHY DO YOU PUT YOURSELF THROUGH THIS HASSLE, WHY!

(Let me take this opportunity to share my pet crack theory that Carlisle Cullen is secretly the most twisted, evil vampire in all of vampiredom, and that the sending the young ones to high school bit is something he does solely because he gets his evil fix by feasting on the emotional toil it inflicts on them. Also why he’s a doctor; he can ignore the call of blood, because being surrounded by the pain of patients and their loved ones already keeps him fed. I mean. He was chilling with the Volturi way back when, and Aro gives off a handsy vibe. No way he didn’t get his mind read in every which way, and if that happened - if he were reaaaalllyyyyy that nice, why would he still ping them as a threat of any kind?)

(This has holes in it, I know. And clashes with my other pet crack theory, which posits that the whole immortal child/Let’s Catch Them All: Cullen Edition was in fact the fallout of a Very Bad Italian Breakup, with Aro being the pissy ex who wants sole custody of the kids.)

Whatever. It still makes more sense than them going through “the inert state between active periods” when. My dudes! College is right there. Some places you can even sit out 90% of lectures and still get your diploma if you don’t feel like faking one, so Jasper would be all set! And you can pick different subjects! Diversify! Why must it always be med school rehashes, there are other worthy professions! And whole fields that are useless for getting-a-job purposes, but still interesting and enriching for those who have the luxury to pursue them. Let Emmett do Viking Studies, for fuck’s sake!

This amuses me much more than it rightfully should. I’m a child.

The Cullen clan tries to pep talk Jasper into not getting his murder on. Jasper is like OMG WILL YOU GUYS LAY OFF, while Edward is busy doing his judgy Edward thing and thinking to himself that Jasper should accept his limitations, that it’s a bad idea to have him at school at all, blah blah bleh, and you know what, I’m with you there, Ed.

Although we all know that this is just setup for the irony that will ensue as soon as Bella the Delicious klutzes her way into his line of smell.

Oh yah! Enter Bella. Edward can’t hear her thoughts. Jessica Stanley is a b-word. Edward wonders whether not being able to butt into the new girl’s head may be a red flag for vampire Alzheimer. Biology class next! The teacher is a man “of no more than average intellect” and, lord. It’s lucky that Edward is the mind reader in the family, because imagine if it were one of the others and they had to put up with listening to him bitch about the world at large, nonstop, at all hours of the day. And night, since these guys don’t sleep. Angela Webber is the only soul in the whole school whose thoughts have the Edward Cullen seal of approval. I feel sorry for her. I also feel this weird sense of hey, this all seems familiar in senses other than being a retelling, have I been here before?

Wait.

WAAAIIIIIITEEEEE.

*googles for the old version*

*runs first chapters through copyleaks*

*kubrick stare* MEYER, YOU LAZY SO AND SO, HOW COULD YOU!

*slams head on desk*

Well. At least I know what I’m in for. HONESTLY! It’s been. It’s been THIS MANY YEARS since the leaked version appeared, and that was a first draft, how in the… she’s way better than this, now! Was this novel produced in a terminal state of $#%CARING#NOT?&FOUND?! Is half of it just going to be the same old thing with a thin veneer of polish? I’m.

*sigh* You know what, I’m okay. We’re just going to call this first part a re-read. It’s been ten years, so I remember not a whole lot of the specifics, so at least I won’t be bored. BUT COME CHAPTER 13 I EXPECT TO BE SWEPT OFF MY FEET, DO YOU HEAR ME?!

Biology. Bella walks in right past a fan and gives Edward a throbbing throat boner. How awkward. Then she goes and sits right next to him and saucily tosses her hair around like he’s not actively plotting her murder and that of the rest of the class. The cheek of the thing!

Fortunately, Bella’s tasty ass is momentarily saved by a stiff breeze.

…I think we may have found the solution to Jasper’s control issues. The Cullens just need to start carrying air freshener around and spray the murder out of him every time he starts looking peckish. It would look weird if anyone else did it, but since they’re all pretty and rich, it’s more likely that the trend will catch on and cause Febreze sales to skyrocket.

Anyway. We’re not done victim-blaming Bella for…

…at least another couple of pages, but at least Edward gets his head out of his ass long enough to recall that hey, vampire! Oxygen is optional! But he still spends another lot of words grumbling about what a hassle it is to be forced to hold his breath in order to dampen his murderous urges. This is why you are a virgin, Edward. No, I don’t mean the planning the assassination a classmate’s assassination, plenty of serial killers still manage to get laid heaps, consensually, even! It’s the fact that you’re this much of a buzzkill that’s the issue.

Live, laugh, love, you dumbass disco ball!

Yep, he’s still on about how he’s going to kill her, totes kill her, he feral dangerous vampire, rawr. The miracle of adequate indoor airflow only got him to railroad a quartet of brain cells into thinking up smarter ways of snuffing Bella out. Now he wants to lure her to the forest. No, he’s going to kill her at home! He hates her! No, he hates himself and is projecting!

So he flees to his car, plays some calming music, breathes in and out and thinks about his family and how disappointed they’d be in him if he were to help himself to a Swan shake. Well, I’m nobody to shit talk anyone’s self-soothing routine. I’d probably throw in a truck of food + a bath, but he’s had 100+ years to figure out what coping mechanisms work for him, so let’s just let him do his-

Edward.

EDWARD.

…do you actually think this is an appropriate time to start a ginger-off with some random desk lady? Yes, we know you’re the One True Redhead To Rule Them All. (Though Kvothe from Name of the Wind may beg to differ, and I don’t know who would win that fight.) I mean, really? You pull this crap when you just barely talked yourself out of a murder? And then you call her eyes flat! What!

One of my favorite comic book series, Y the Last Man, features a scene where two characters discuss what it is that truly binds people together. One of them presents the argument that stronger bonds are formed not by shared love, but by shared hates. By which they mean not a kiss-kiss-slap-slap, enemies-to-lovers relationship dynamic, but like… you, being someone who really hates coleslaw, having a partner who likewise hates coleslaw, with whom you can indulge in tireless verbal roastings of coleslaw and who will never get tired of your complaining, because the fire of their loathing burns every bit as hot as yours.

I’ve always felt that this concept resonated with me deeply. And if you apply it to Bella and Edward, by its standards, they have the real deal. Go through the namesake chapter in Twilight-the-book, and you find Bella thinking similarly judgy thoughts, being irked by the same shit that no one normal would bat an eye to, going “Ugh!” and “Gah!” at everything that makes Edward wince internally. So their love will be eternal for sure. Perhaps not in an epic way. They’ll live boringly ever after, until they’re ancient and onion-skinned and lurking at passerby humans through the geraniums on their windowsill, exchanging “Holy crow, I can’t believe she bought a hydrogen engine car just to show off!” / “Awful! She should know that thinning the deer population so that they produce less flatulence is the most sound way of controlling toxic emissions!” And then probably gazing at one another like idiots for an ice age or two.

Edward wants to be moved out of Biology class. Goes back and forth with the desk lady, who obviously wants to tap that, because of course she does. Every hot-blooded woman within spitting distance must crave his alluring icicle, even as he mentally eviscerates every minuscule detail of their appearance.

Except Bella, because she’s soft, translucent, deep-eyed and edible. And, I mean. You can complain all you want about “you’re different from anyone else I’ve ever met, you’re SPECIAL, better, more beautiful, more everything!” being a dead horse of a trope so old and beaten that by all rights it should have turned to smelly glue, but. That pony is still kicking. And by kicking, I mean selling. And it sells because being made to feel special, even if it’s happening by proxy while you’re immersed into the thoughts of a fictional character, is nice. Readers enjoying that experience and seeking out fiction that provides it shouldn’t be considered so… mock-worthy as I’ve seen it be, in discussion of works that feature the trope prominently.

Which doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be nicer if Edward’s narration were focused solely on elevating Bella, instead of also viciously kicking down everyone in the vicinity. Man, we get the message, okay? You don’t need to act like you’ve swallowed a Simon Cowell before coming in for school.

I swear, it’s almost a relief when Bella interrupts, heralding the triumphant return of the throat boner. Edward’s thoughts about the people around him are actually LESS gratuitously bitchy when he’s contemplating how to best murder them.

At least this time he is able to extract himself from the situation and flee speedily. (Which… in Biology, what exactly was preventing him from asking for a bathroom break? Or just saying he was feeling poorly and getting the fuck out of there?)

He meets the sibs. Only Alice has any clue of what is going on because visions, and she doesn’t explain anything to the others, who just stand there baffled while Edward decides to get his shiny ass in his shiny Volvo and run off to Alaska. Probably because it would ruin the serious mood of the scene if she told them and Jasper started doing happy cartwheels at the prospect of no longer being the only fuckup in the family.

END CHAPTER. Same time tomorrow, hopefully, and I’ll TRY to be less longwinded. Try. 

[boogiewrites]

Choking On Sapphires 90

Characters: Alfie Solomons x Genevieve (OFC)

Title & Song: Right Back Where We Started From

Summary: Genevieve has her Bat Mitzah, a grand celebration with everyone important to her. But Alfie uses the opportunity to turn the already memorable night into something she'll never forget. Song is Maxine Nightingale - Right Back Where We Started From

Warnings/Tags: FLUFF. Bat Mitzvah. LOTS OF FEELINGS. A LOOOOONG awaited chapter. 

Click on my icon then go to my Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. (Had to do this since Tumblr killed links, sorry.) Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT!

Another Shabbat passes and Genevieve finds herself becoming more and more preoccupied with the planning of her bat mitzvah ceremony. Although simple compared to a traditional bar mitzvah, as she didn’t want to ruffle any feathers with the orthodox and read from the Torah, she still had plenty to plan and worry about. Currently, the location being the biggest concern.

another sigh escapes her, Alfie had lost count of how many now. She hurriedly flipped through the notebook she’d been using to lay out her plans. The little leather-bound book hadn’t left her side for weeks. It was full of speech bullet points and notes for her chosen subject to speak about but she was currently stuck on the list of places left she could choose from. The options were dwindling by the day as they became booked. Every night Alfie would watch her tap her pen on the top line, a sad limp mark through her first pick for where to have her ceremony and party, but she’d been declined.

But he was always the close observer and decided to try his hand at giving her an early bat mitzvah gift. The first of many to come.

“Ya gonna bore a hole in ‘at if ya keep tappin' at it so.” He remarks with glasses sliding down his nose as he side-eyed her from his reclined position.

“I’m feeling so very indecisive about the location.” She sighed out frantically for the umpteenth time that evening. “I have everything else I want but...nothing feels RIGHT.” She clenches a theatrical fist in her conviction.

“You aren’t used to being told no.” He states it as the fact it is.

“I’m afraid I am entirely serious.” She retorts with a frown. “I have full power to customize this but the one thing I want I cannot have. It’s frustrating when this means so much to me.” Her face was round and pouting, pursed lips he thought were rather soft and precious when she was angry.

“I know love, I know. But ya can have whatever you like really. Just gotta know how to get it.” He gives her a pat to her knee in support.

“You would think with how much I’m paying for all this.” She huffs. “This is on par with one of my birthday parties.” She reflects. “Good thing we skipped that this year.” She grumbles. “I’m so perplexed. I’m paying for all this to not get what I actually want.”

“You’re paying for everythin'?” He challenges with an out of place smile.

Gen gives him a look that judges his intellect. “Yes, clearly. I haven’t asked you for so much as a pound have I?”

“I wish someone had told me this before I went and paid for the venue then. Shame, that.” He shakes his head.

“Alfie. I haven’t chosen. My word, have you not been listening at all?”

“You have chosen though. You wanted the museum.”

“And they told me no.” She responds with flushed cheeks. “Repeatedly.” she lets out a frustrated whine.

“Well, I wish someone had informed me of that before I paid for the bloody thing.” He responds to her blustery rant with a confusing indifference.

“Alfie? Are you okay? Are you smelling oranges dear because you are making no sense.” She places the back of her hand to his head.

“I’m makin' perfect sense if you’d just calm down and listen.” He chuckles.

“You said for the museum.” She states again. “But it’s not available.” She insists.

“Say that first part again. Forget the last.” He instructs with high brows as he sets his book aside. The poor thing was so distraught over her rejection she couldn’t see he was handing her the answer to her problems.

“You paid for the museum.” She rushes out.

“Yeah. And again. Slow it down pet, think of the words.” He keeps a fully amused look on his face.

“You paid for the museum.” She repeats slowly. “But…?” Her brows furrowed in question.

“I paid for the museum. For you to have the bat mitzvah ceremony there, love. I asked them and with a bit of persuasion, they said yes. You’re gonna have the museum.” He has to clarify in basic terms for her rapid-fire brain to grasp onto.

She blinks in a rush of realization. “You got the..?” She stammers.

“You have your heart set on it and I was tired of watching you lament every night about not getting it. This is important and I want it to be as close to perfect as it can for ya.”

“You…?” She whispers.

“Yes. With some exhortation, I managed to talk them into it.”

“You…?” She stammers again.

“Oui.” He lets out a laugh this time. “dois-je le dire en français pour que vous compreniez?”

“Oh Alfie, darling.” She coos, one hand to her chest and the other to his cheek.

“That’s more like it.” He smirks, reaching to hold her hand and kiss it.

“Oh bless you Alfie, you thoughtful man.”

“Nah. I just pay attention’s all. Not gonna let me own woman not have the bat mitzvah she wants. What sort of man would I be?”

“You wouldn’t be Alfie Solomons.” She smirks softly and kisses his cheek.

“Fuckin right love” he grunts and nods.

She chuckles against his cheek. “Oh, darling you’ve made me so happy.” She coos and nuzzles her nose into his ear. “Shall have to start calling you, Sweet Solomons.” She grins and kisses his cheek.

“Oh go on Genny.” He puts on a mean face but soaks up the affection. With her hands in his beard and hair, she turns his face to hers.

“Thank you. I love you. This means the world to me, darling.”

“I’m glad you’re happy.”

“And all because of you.”

“Was nothin'.”

“And modest! My goodness!” She chuckles and squeezes his cheeks, giving him a soft and affectionate kiss to his pouted lips.

“Man's gotta have his values.”

“Even a man like you.” She kisses him again and speaks softly.

“Even me.” He answers in a muffled voice before she takes her time, slow kisses to his plush lips that make him hum with content.

————-

Gen stood tall on her pedestal in her closet, Freddie tending to the last minute adjustments for the embellished gown he’d created for her.

“These stones are being little buggers.” He mutters, keeping his thin face focused on the hem of the silk and beaded gown. It fell to the floor in a pearlescent puddle around her feet, Sheer little sleeves and a silver hue throughout that made her skin and hair stand out against its paleness.

“I can’t say enough good fings bout it, Fred.” Alfie captures their attention as he comes in freshly showered, slicked and perfumed with his trousers and white shirt on.

“You could try.” He smirks and Alfies face is kind and amused. The dress fit her like a glove, a band of embellishment around her waist and everything loose and flowing around her, she looked like an angel. He wasn’t one to get emotional about such things but perhaps the significance of the occasion was wearing the old boy down. He’d heard Gen practicing her speech, speaking of growth and change and finding meaning in the chaos of life and perhaps he was swayed to reflect himself. Tonight was a rather important night for both of them.

“Would you think it brash of me to suggest some pieces for you to wear with this, Chanah?” Her only been calling her by her given name all day and Gen couldn’t find it in herself to mind. She watches him looking through the glass-topped drawers at her collection of jewels.

“As long as I retain the right to turn them down, Certainly no.” She gives him a warm smile as she stays still for the sake of Fred’s sanity.

“‘Course.” He says obviously with his usually gruff tone. “I only had suggestions. I saw that dress and thought of certain pieces as soon as my eyes took it in.” He elaborates with a shaking hand as he moves about the circular space and collects pieces in his hands.

“I think that has it for now. I’ll have my kit with me all night. Won't have you looking a bead out of place if I can help it. Tonight’s too important. You’ll have photographs and I refuse to have you look anything short of angelic.” Freddie speaks with a pointed finger as he gathers a small satchel with beads, stones, and thread.

“It is gorgeous and it will be perfect. Thank you, Cheri.”

“Don’t make me cry just yet.” He protests with an exasperated voice as she takes his hand and kisses it.

“Not yet.” She shakes her head and pats his hand before releasing it.

“I’m off to change. I’ll be at the door waiting for you for the last check before your entry.”

“Lovely.” She says softly as she runs her hands down the textured surface of the gown.

Distracted, Fred has a whirling list of things to do in a short amount of time and is muttering to himself as he leaves.

“He’s a mess, bless him. He doesn’t handle sentimental occasions very gracefully.” Gen observes with a fond by pitying expression.

“He has a lot of heart, that Fred.” Alfie nods and agrees. “But I wanted to speak of yours while we had a moment, love.” His voice is cool and even, demanding her to him as he holds out his hand and she steps off the raised platform.

“What of it Ari?” She implores with inquisitive eyes.

“I wanted to give some significance tonight to what you wore. Jewels wise. I wanted to bring a bit of me into the ensemble. Even if it is a bit of a prick thing to say on such an occasion now that I say it out loud.”

Genevieve smiles and insists he’s incorrect with a shaking head, her long hair cascading down her shoulders. “Don’t be silly. You were so crucial in getting to this point. I value your input so please share.” She holds both his hands in hers and gives them a squeeze.

“As you wish, my love.” He gives her a rather formal nod and turns to start with one piece. “I would like to first recommend Sapphires for such an occasion.” Be announces loudly as if he were presenting to a group, But only Genevieve was in his company. “I believe your favorite stone, Yeah?” She nods with a gentle smile as he brings forth a ring she knows well. “I would suggest this first.” He puts the ring onto her finger and holds her hand, the warmth was felt not only through his skin but in the mild crinkle around his eyes as he spoke. “You wore this the first night you accompanied me out. I couldn’t make up me mind if I wanted to stare at you or your jewels and that is sayin’ somethin’ Both for your taste and your beauty, love.”

She leans forward to kiss his cheek and gives him a smile that disarms him as her soft hands rub against his hardened ones. “I’ll always remember that night.” She speaks softly. “Lovely choice.” She praises.

“And ‘is. A bit farther down the line.” He holds the long and weighted large sapphire stone encased in a halo of tiny diamonds. “You wore this the night I took you to the opera.”

“The night I cried like a baby at the show.” She huffs out a laugh to herself.

“The night I found myself truly mesmerized by you, love. Such softness under that wild exterior. Like a weeping angel, you were, yeah?” He gives a gentle pat to her cheek and she nuzzles into it with a soft kiss. “The last. So far the most important.” He begins with the teardrop Sapphires earrings that dangle from Diamond studs. “Our trip to Paris.” He says with a fond nostalgia in his voice. He puts them on her with strong and steady hands. “My promise to never make you cry real tears, only those of stone.” He pauses and takes her hands again. “I’ve not kept that promise I’m afraid.” He frowns.

“We cannot know the future Ari. As badly as we might want to. You know anything that caused me to shed tears that you caused is forgiven. You’ve only ever had my best interests at heart. That’s worth more than the mere falling of tears.” She squeezes his hands and he nods, not fighting her on it and deeply Proud of her understanding of him and their life together. “I recall it as the best time I’ve ever had with a man in Paris. When we told one another we loved the other.” She speaks softly from the heart and puts her hand to his cheek. “Where we danced by the Seine and played pretend like children to be married.” She sighs, her eyes misty at the fond memories.

“Oi, I recall. You becomin' my real-life fantasy of Lily Lafitte.” He gives her a soft smile.

“The only man I’ve ever introduced to uncle as well.” She adds with a nod of her chin.

“Speak of the Devil,” He smirks, “He and your mum will be there today.”

“Really?” Her band drops to his chest and her eyes go wide. “Mother wasn’t sure if she’d be able to, What with George being difficult with her leaving.”

“I believe a promise from Altar Lafitte when I hear it. He and Alma will be here this evening.”

“Oh, Ari.”She tears up and wraps her arms around his neck. “You’ve made everything so perfect already. I’ll be owing you after tonight.” She teases and kisses his cheek.

“It’s nothin if it’s to make you happy Chanah. You know within reason and reality I’d do anyfin' to make you so, yeah?”

“You lovey gentleman. You absolute mensch.” She nuzzles her nose against his. “I couldn’t think of a single thing you could do to make me happier tonight.” She whispers as she kisses him gently.

“There’s always somethin', Chanah.” He smiles and kisses her cheek innocently. “Always more I can do for a woman like you.”

—————

Her entrance was dramatic with musical accompaniment in the grand style she was known for. The lights hitting her gown just right in the golden hour as she ascended the decorated stone steps.  Alfie stood in her shadow and watched as she was received by every sort of Jewish folk in London. Altar brought a few of the French family members and the east end roughians that worked for Alfie got to stay as long as they behaved. The posh wealth were in attendance as well, some out of good wishes and some to see if things would fall apart, either was fine with Alfie if they were giving her money.

Her art of religious text was spotted throughout the room, some for sale and others just for show. Flowers cascaded over columns and tables as the smell of lavender filled the air with their pastel palette warmed by late summer heat. The tall room with its giant windows and painted ceiling were a perfect setting to the important ceremony, stained glass cascading down jewel-toned light as the sun set and Genevieve became a woman.

After being greeted with loud hugs and kisses by some she hadn’t seen since she was a child.  A beaming Altar and a weeping with joy Alma allow her to be pried from their grasp by Alfie who adjusts her jewels and tenderly asks if she’s ready.

Genevieve Chanah Lafitte was formally inducted into the community with a short but praising introduction by her mentor Rabbi Gold. She gave a beautiful speech, all tying back to her studies and Rabbi Golds teachings over the past year or so. She spoke of growth and change, of tradition and finding one’s place in the world. She ghosts over the bad, only mentioning she hasn’t had an easy sort of life. She tells tales of the good with a charming smile. She chooses to focus on her mitzvah project and how they would be continuing after tonight. The teaching of all religions, the scholarships for Jewish girls, the importance of health and education among the youth and women of the community that she was choosing to focus her efforts on. She told of when she was a young girl, lost and lonely, and how the Jewish community embraced her and gave her a life. Altar pretended he wasn’t crying but Alma fully embraces the emotion of the night. Genevieve ends with mentions of donating to her scholarship and the charities she works with, as well as thanking her closest friends and colleges, Freddie, Claire, Aggie and Alfie among them.

Then came the other speeches as she took her seat at the table with those loved ones she’d just thanked on the stage.

Altar boomed and demanded cheers, telling of knowing she was special from the moment he held her. How he could not be more proud of the woman she had become. Alma confesses this night was her most wild dreams coming true as she had always wanted her most special daughter to find her place in the world and know her people and where she came from. She cries and so does her daughter, emotional tears run in the family. Aggie gives a very short speech sharing the same sentiment as Alma, how she thought of her as her own daughter and as everyone else had, she expresses how proud she is. Claire, much to Gens surprise also speaks and keeps it brief as is her way of doing things. She gets as sentimental as Claire can, calling Gen not only a business partner but a life long friend and sister to her, and that she was looking forward to what the next thirty years brought for them. Fred threatens stories of her wild youth but refrains with a laugh. Calling her a friend and confidant and even if he wasn’t Jewish, he was glad to know there was a warm community to keep her while they lived so far apart. Then came Alfie.  

He had been preparing for this night for some time, a lifetime it felt now. He was so gifted at demanding the attention of a room he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to make a show of it all.  He stood straight, hands accompanying his endearment and his voice rich and deep and full of affection for the woman of the hour. “I know, as a man, that I am lucky to have a woman like Chanah. And I want you to know that us, as a people, are lucky to call her our own. She has the capacity for tenderness which astounds me every day. Especially with some of the lot she has to work with. I include myself in that. She is brilliant. Smart, fierce, funny and not as important but it is worth mentioning that she is rather easy on the eyes. I have no doubt she will be a pillar for our community. Through her words and actions she is everything a Jewish woman should aspire to be, educated, charitable and strong. A survivor, as we all are and continue to be. I am honored to have a part in her story that brought her to us. Although I will take no credit for any of her achievements. She was already successful when I met her and since she has only grown in leaps and bounds both personally and professionally. We are proud to call you ours, love. And I am even more proud to call a woman like you mine.”

Gen was holding it together, crying but not weeping as Alma currently was into Aggie's shoulder. Altar sat proud and impressed, watching Alfie kiss her cheek and her beam at him with love and admiration. With his hand in hers, he closes out with telling the room to donate, give gifts and eat and be merry. It was a joyous occasion and they’d paid enough for everything so make good use of it. His humor as always comes through and the crowd chuckles and moves, conversations floating about and food being eaten, wine drinking and money changing hands. Gen is embraced with warmth and love, hugs and kisses, thanks and congratulations from all who came across her. She was lost in a whirlwind of praises in English, Hebrew, and Yiddish and was proud to understand each one. Altar networks, as is his way and the women closest to her all huddle like hens and reflect on the hard work they all put in to make Gen who she is. The room is full of life and love and Gen feels full in a way she never had before. A feeling of belonging, of completion and family that made her heart so full it ached in her chest. As the crowd settles into its groups, laughter, and discussions all weaving in and out as she moved about the space, Alfie finds her and takes her hand to pull her from the praising current she was swept away in.

“Might I have ya back now?” He smiles. “I surrendered you to the mob and it seems they’ve all feasted on you enough for now.”

“When the wine kicks in it’ll start back up.” She chuckles and moves to his side without hesitation.

“How about we let them marinate in it then eh? We’ve got plenty to see away from them yeah? And I’d like a moment with you on a night like this. Call me greedy but I rather like Keeping you to myself.” He teases as they lock arms and move to the edge of the room towards some hard looking lads by a velvet rope. “Boys.” Alfie nods and one pulls the rope back.

“Are we allowed back here?” She whispers and looks over her shoulder.

“I got the whole bloody museum love. Just didn’t want no one wandering about, wanted you to have all the attention and have the whole place to yourself. Which is what those rather rough lads were doin' there.” He motions back with his hand as they walk into a dim hallway.

“Never been here with everything so dark. Almost spooky.” She gives a small giggle as her hands rest on his arm.

“I had them light candles for ya love. I thought it’d be interesting to see it in a different light.”

“It’s lovely daring thank you.” She coos at him softly.

“How’s about we go to France eh? Your favorite?”

“Yes please.” She nods enthusiastically.

Only their footsteps echoed as he guided her through the flickering light in the hallways, towards a brighter room that housed the paintings she loved most.

“Monet is the one you like so much innit? The one you’re always on about when you’re out by the pond painting?”

“Yes, I love his work. So dreamy.” She sighs as they round the corner to the room and she stops and stares at the state of the room. “Oh my God.” Alfie stops and lets her take it in. The entirety of Monet's Water Lillie’s in its massive form. But it wasn’t only that that caused her to blink with disbelief. “Alfie.” She exhales softly as her eyes widen and dilate at the splendor of the view around her. The long and tall Water Lillie’s sit center as smaller paintings take up the rest of the space on the walls, but what covered the rest of the usually white space were flowers. Of every pastel color and variation, all surrounding paintings of similar tones as if the colors were bleeding off the canvas and onto the floor.

“I wanted something special for you tonight love.” He spews softly as her eyes flutter shut and she breathes in the floral perfume that filled the space.

“You’ve already done so much.” Her voice breaks, weak and breathy praise as she grips his arm in her hands unconsciously.

“Always more to be done. Like I said.” He fusses back as he moves her slowly into the room as she looked rather overwhelmed. “I told the florists I wanted the whole room covered, wanted it to look like they were coming to life for you.”

“It does. It is. It’s...breathtaking I don’t even know what to say.”

“That you love it and I kept it a surprise.” He smirks and she gives him a huge smile.

“I love it. Adore it. I had...no clue. Not even an inkling.” She enthuses, impressed. “It’s...like a dream. And such a beautiful and artistic take on an installation Alfie, you brilliant man.”

“I wanted tonight to be about your dreams comin' true. You talk about wantin' to get lost in those paintin’s, and I wanted to give ya that.”

She shakes her head and her mouth stays open and stutters. “I don’t...I just.” She stands dumbfounded. “It’s brilliant. Genius. Perfect.” She holds a hand to her chest now to steady her heart. She had been so caught up in her work and planning she had given Alfie room to plan something himself in her whirlwind of plans and appointments. She stood awe struck and speechless in the glowing light of hundreds of blooms. She recalled no other time in her life she had ever been.

“Since I finally have you alone. I did want to say a few things I couldn’t earlier. Or rather I don't fink you’d want me too.” He chuckles and takes both her hands into his as he holds her attention in the center of an artificial field of flowers. “The first time I had to make an apology to you, I used flowers.”

“I’ll never forget it. Just as I’ll never forget this.” She speaks so sweetly, squeezing his hands. “I remember feeling so much when I kissed you. How I didn’t want to stop.” She sighs and swoons and puts her hand to his cheek. “I do wonder often in my moments of reflection of how we came to be how long it truly has been that I’ve loved you. Ari.” She tiptoes and kisses his lips softly. “Sometimes it feels like I always did. I can’t recall a time in which I didn’t at least find you special.”

“From that first night I met you. In that gaudy golden club sitting next to Tommy. You are even more beautiful to me now than you were then, and I would’ve said that was impossible.”

“You were so handsome. So funny and cheeky.”

“You were full of clever wit and a smart mouth. Bold and fearless to put me down.”

“The brown was fucking awful.” She says with a low turn of her voice and he laughs out loud at her.

“And you’ve never shied from telling me a truthful opinion.”

“You’re a strong man. You can take it. Easy to see from the beginning.”

“Aye, but you are stronger, love.” He kisses her forehead. “And of the things you’ve had to face that prove time and time again that you are tougher and more resilient than I could ever claim to be… I wanted this tonight to act as another apology. For all the bad I’ve brought into your life, whether my own doin' or by relation.”

“We’re here now. We don’t have to dwell on it. Always forward.” She insists. “If it means having you and what we have I know I will always find it in me to forgive you.”

“I’m not worthy of your lovely heart.” He speaks softly.

“Luckily for me that isn’t up to you to decide.” She smiles.

“I am so proud of you. For tonight. For tomorrow and yesterday. In all the company I’ve kept in my life, I have never met someone like you before. No one has your spark, your imagination, and cleverness. Of all the minds I’ve known, yours is my favorite and I never tire of knowing you. I’m always left wanting more.”

She flushes in her cheeks and gets an almost bashful look on her face.

“There’s no one else on this fuckin miserable earth that I love as much as you. No one id rather work with or be with. No one else that keeps me interested and always wanting more from them. You are one of a kind, I truly believe that.”

“Ari.” He voices cracks as she wipes at her eyes with both hands and he shifts his weight.

“Which is why I have an offer to make you.”

“An offer?” She asks with soft eyes and an inquisitive voice as she expects papers to come from his pockets, but only a flat and rectangular box held out and presented.

“This.” He opens the box, inside, a bracelet that completes the set of jewels she wears. A row of round and shining Sapphires and diamonds.

She covers her mouth and the stones catch the light and reflect in her eyes.

“An offer of this for a commitment.”

He sees it in her eyes she’s still unsure of everything he was leading up to.

“Genevieve Chanah Lafitte.” He begins with a clearing of his throat. “Would you accept this gift and in return make the commitment to me, Alfred Ari Solomons in the form of marriage?”

He could swear he saw her heart stop for a moment. She choked with surprise. Which admittedly he’d wanted it to be. She blinks rapidly and he sees her mind working behind her eyes in frantic and unexpected chaos. “Y-Yes.” She manages to force out, heart in her throat and frozen there. “Yes. Yes! Of course I would I-YES!” She lets out in an ecstatic expression of joy and laughter as the tears gather in her eyes.

“Then with this,” He puts the heavy stones around her wrist. “You will be Mrs. Alfie Solomons. The other half to my soul, with my promise to love and cherish, to provide for and support you for the rest of our lives.”

She stares in disbelief still. Finally meeting his eyes and looking away from the stones. “Alfie I... this is...it's perfect. I love you. It would be a blessing to be able to join my soul to yours. A pairing no one except God Could tear apart.” Her heart was overflowing, as were her eyes, bless her.  She cries and he holds her, feeling her against him in this perfect moment, acceptance and peace fill his mind. A promise to be joined as one, a partnership that could not be broken, something solid and stable in the life of his that was anything but. She was a constant, a confidant, a friend, and lover and now soon to be officially his other half to complete himself in the eyes of his peers and God. She had him feeling things he hadn’t since he was a boy as she kissed his face and thanked him, whispered of how happy he made her, how perfect the night was.

He dries her tears, a warm smile as she sniffles and gazed up at him with love in her eyes. “Would you like to announce it?”

“It would be a good time to.” She nods. “But could you, I’m a mess.” She laughs and puts her forehead on his chest.

“Nothing would make me happier.” He kisses her head and rubs her back before calming her and heading back toward the stage.

“A final announcement to close out the evening.” His voice books over the room as the happy and mostly tipsy group swung their heads his way. “I must admit my loves bat mitzvah was not the only thing I had planned tonight. And I, or I should say WE now, are very happy and I am very proud once again to announce, that our woman of the evening, Miss Genevieve Chanah here has accepted my proposal and will soon be my wife.” The cheers make her cry all over again. Altar slams his fists on the table he sits and yells in excitement, Aggie and Alma sob into each other’s blouses.  Another wave of love and support wash across the room. “So as we wind down to a close tonight, I would like to thank you all for coming, Thank Genevieve for accepting and being exactly what a man like me needs in a wife and we will be seeing you at the wedding. L'CHaim He raises a glass left on the table and a reply of the same and various mazle tov's jumble in the air.

They are both embraced and congratulated, Altar squeezing Alfie and patting his back so hard he coughed before kissing his head. Gen was certain in that moment, surrounded by happiness and well wishes and those she loved the most that every bad thing in her life had been worth it for this feeling. She’d never known such contentment, such love. And it had all brought her to where she was now, and she felt thankful and hopeful. Knowing this feeling, this love existed made her certain that no matter what life threw her way that she could overcome it. Especially now that she wouldn’t ever be alone again.

Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT!

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[toddysdiaries]

TWO?! - Toddy Smith x Reader

((GIF is not mine))

Pairing: Toddy Smith x Reader

Requested: nope.

Summary: You find out you’re pregnant after a drunken fumble with Toddy.

Words: 3,758

Warnings: this is looooong, I didn’t mean it to be this long, pregnancy, young pregnancy (not that an age is mentioned), possibly wrong medical terms, description of a vaginal ultrasound??

A/N: Requests are open! Feel free to request stuff, but not Jeff at the moment, because I have a handful just for Jeff and although he’s very pretty he’s not the only one. I could also probably write a second part of this for the rest of the pregnancy and birth and possibly even a third for after the birth. 

You stared down at the pregnancy stick, two lines glaring mockingly at you from the counter. This wasn’t supposed to happen, you were too young to have a baby, and you’d done everything right. You took your pill religiously, but you’d been ill shortly before the conception, so your pills weren’t working effectively.

Todd definitely wasn’t ready to have a baby. Even though he was 26, he still acted like a child at the best of times. It was just a one-time fumble that happened when you were wearing your unreliable beer goggles. It had made David some great vlog footage, but it had also made you a mother, and changed the rest of your life.

Your first instinct was to run away, to run back to your home town and away from Toddy and your friends. But you knew you couldn’t do that, your baby deserved to know its father and Toddy deserved to know he had a baby. The problem was that Toddy was on tour with Scotty and that was just not something you could break to him over FaceTime.

Letting out a deep breath, you began to pace up and down the short length of your bathroom. What were you going to do? You carded your hang through your messy hair. You were upset with yourself, how could you get yourself pregnant? Yes, you were financially stable, as was Todd, but you were also very young.

You had to talk to Natalie, Natalie would know what to do. You sprayed some deodorant on you and grabbed the pregnancy test from the counter, for proof, just in case Natalie thought you were joking with her and exited the bathroom. You grabbed your belongings as you made your way through your apartment, stopping to pick your keys up from the bowl by the door before making your way outside.

It wasn’t a long drive in the grand scheme of things, but it dragged on, seeming like every traffic light turned red as you came to it. You were anxious to have to tell someone that you had a literal human growing inside you.

You parked your car down the road from David’s house and then went through the pedestrian gate, positive pregnancy test burning a hole in your pocket. You walked slowly up the drive, attempting to calm down a bit. You paced in front of the door for a while, before pulling your phone out of your pocket and texting Natalie to get her to come and open the door, so you didn’t wake David and alert him to your presence.

David’s house was weirdly quiet when you walked through the door, you were used to it being full of people and louder than life. But it was still early on in the day, so half of the vlog squad were still asleep in their own homes.

“What’s up Y/N?” Natalie led you down the hallway to her own room. Natalie’s room was sort of like a safe haven in David’s house. Apart from the occasional prank that David pulled when Natalie wasn’t there, her room was largely left alone.

You took a deep breath and then pulled the piece of plastic out of your pocket and shoving it into Natalie’s hands. You didn’t say a word, partly because the test spoke for you and partly because you were terrified of Natalie’s reaction.

Natalie stared down at the stick in confusion, you could tell she was trying to find something about the stick that seemed fake, having been caught out before with David and Liza.

“It’s real.” You murmured, pulling your sweatshirt down over your hands.

Natalie’s eyes snapped up to meet yours. “When did you take this?”

“This morning.” You replied. “It’s not the only one I’ve taken though. Four of them, all positive.”

Natalie let out a short breath before handing you back the test. “Okay, well we should get you an appointment anyway, just in case they’re all wrong and you’ll need to start having appointments.” Natalie pulled out her laptop and started typing. “This is the gynaecologist that I use, they’re very discrete. I’ll make you an appointment and go with you.”

You let out a breath of relief, feeling slightly better already, you knew Natalie would know what to do. She was sort of the fixer of the group.

Natalie bit her lip. “How far along do you think you are?” You knew Natalie wasn’t just asking you how many weeks pregnant you were, she was also trying to find out who the father was through dates.

“About two months. It was that party…” You didn’t need to say anymore, practically the whole world knew that you had had sex with Todd at that party.

“So… Toddy?” Natalie concluded. You gave a short nod. “Have you told him?”

You shook your head quickly. “No, he’s on tour with Scotty, it’s not something that I can just blurt out over the phone.”

Natalie turned back to her laptop, fingers tapping away quickly, but accurately, pulling up Scotty’s tour schedule. “He’ll be back for the two L.A. shows in just over two weeks. That gives us the chance to get you into the gynaecologists.”

“Thank you, Natalie.” A few tears fell.

You sat next to Natalie in the waiting room, bouncing your leg up and down nervously. Natalie had managed to get you an appointment only two days after you’d told her, and the gynaecologist was already 10 minutes late. The receptionist had hurried over to you 5 minutes before your appointment time and had told you that the OBGYN was finishing up a caesarean.

“Miss Y/L/N?” The receptionist called out. “Dr Chang is waiting for you in room 4.”

You were frozen, so Natalie responded with a polite thank you and pulled you up by the hand and lead you to room 4.

Dr Chang was a pretty Asian doctor, who you’d place in her early to mid-30s. She was kind looking and greeted you with a smile. “It’s nice to meet you Miss Y/L/N, I’m sorry for the wait, the previous patient had a bit of a panic before her caesarean, but she has a lovely baby boy now.”

You smiled nervously. “Y/N, please, we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other, I guess. This is Natalie.” You gestured to your best friend, who was sat on the other side of the room, the space usually reserved for the father, you guessed.

“Nice to meet you both, if you’d just like to take a seat on the bed so I can ask you some questions…” You watched Dr Chang click away on her computer, presumably bringing up your file. “Now, we checked your urine sample, and you definitely are pregnant. Do you know the date of your last period?”

You bit your lip attempting to work it out, but eventually blurted out a date. “I think I’m about 10 weeks.”

“And have you experienced any symptoms so far?” Dr Chang typed into the file.

“I’ve been feeling a bit nauseous, but I’ve not actually been sick, and my stomach kind of feels odd, but it doesn’t hurt exactly, and my breasts are kind of tender.” You reeled off the symptoms that you’d been experiencing, glad that you didn’t seem to have morning sickness just yet. “I’ve also been bleeding a little bit, which is why I didn’t realise I was pregnant sooner.”

Dr Chang entered the information in with a few taps on the keyboard and then stood up. “We’ll need to do an ultrasound, just to check that everything is okay with baby, due to the bleeding. I’m just going to take a blood sample from you, Y/N.” You nodded your approval, and Dr Chang took a couple of vials of blood.

“I’m going to take these to the lab if you could pop on this hospital gown and lie down on the bed for me. Take your underwear off, but you can leave your bra on.”

After the doctor had left the room, you stripped off your top and sweats, pulled the gown over your head and then pulled your panties off from underneath, placing them in a neat pile on the other chair in the room. Natalie had seen you completely naked a number of times, but you felt more self-conscious lately. You arranged yourself on the bed, not putting your legs into the stirrups as you were sure the doctor would tell you if you needed to.

Dr Chang knocked on the door before entering with a smile. “Because you’re only around 8-9 weeks, we have to do the ultrasound vaginally, or I won’t be able to see baby very well.” You watched nervously as she pulled on a pair of gloves and sanitised the vaginal probe and covered it with what looked like a long condom, before setting it back on the sterile field.

“Right then.” Dr Chang wheeled herself in between your legs. “Natalie, come forward, and you can see on the ultrasound too. If you can just pop your legs up onto the stirrups, Y/N.”

Your shaky legs just about cooperated with you as you moved them into the stirrups, having to scoot down the bed slightly to do so. Dr Chang covered your modesty up with a thin sheet and started to cover the speculum in medical grade lubricant.

“I’m just going to insert this into your vaginal canal, try not to tense up, because it will make it harder for you.” You grabbed onto Natalie’s hand and squeezed it, taking a deep breath and trying your hardest to relax.

The speculum was cold as it pressed into you and you had to actively work not to jump at the feeling, knowing that it would probably hurt you if you did. “Now, I’m going to insert the probe up through your vaginal canal and into your cervix, there will be a bit of pressure, and it may feel slightly uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t hurt.” Dr Chang looked up and waited for you to nod your approval.

Dr Chang was right, there was a slightly uncomfortable pressure low in your stomach, but it didn’t hurt. You felt the probe turning inside you, it was a strange feeling. Dr Chang’s gaze was settled on the ultrasound screen as she moved the probe around tapping to take measurements.

“Hmm…” Dr Chang’s eyes narrowed slightly as she scrutinised the screen.

Your heart dropped, was there something wrong with your baby? “What? What is it? Is there something wrong with the baby?” Although you were scared, this was your baby, you wanted it.

Dr Chang turned back to you a smile. “Not at all. There are actually two babies though.” Your eyes widened comically, and you turned to Natalie, who also looked a little shocked. “Here is baby A,” Dr Chang pointed at a small grey dot on the screen. “And this is baby B.” She pointed again. “You are just under 10 weeks pregnant and developing nicely. As this is a what’s considered a high-risk pregnancy you’ll have to come and see me more often than if it was just one baby.”

“Oh wow...” You stared at the handful of ultrasound pictures that the doctor had handed to you. Not even noticed that Dr Chang had pulled the probe and the speculum back out of you. “Thank you, Dr Chang.”

“Right, that’s all we need to do today, if you could come back in two weeks to see me again, we can check how these babies are developing.” Your doctor smiled and left the room. “I’ll leave you to get dressed.”

“Natalie there are two babies!” You exclaimed, carefully moving your legs off of the stirrups, so you didn’t get a cramp and carefully standing up off of the bed.

“I know, how crazy is that.” Natalie smiled kindly at you, you could tell it was a little too much even for her.

“Toddy’s gonna flip.” You whined lightly, passing the ultrasound pictures to Natalie while you pulled the gown off after pulling on your panties. After examining your stomach briefly, you pulled the rest of your clothes on and stepped into your trainers.”

“He can’t be angry at you Y/N. You both made the decision to have sex with each other. It’s both of your responsibilities.”

Natalie handed you your bag and the ultrasound pictures, and you pressed them into your diary, making a mental note to buy some kind of pregnancy diary to keep track of everything.

“It’s still nerve-wracking though.” Natalie directed you towards reception, and you made an appointment for the day after Toddy got back so that he could come to the appointment with you if all went well.

Over the two weeks since your first appointment you had bought a pregnancy diary and had started tracking your symptoms, and you had even called your parents, now that you were 12 weeks. You parents were happy to become grandparents and were ready to support you with anything that you needed.

Natalie was still the only other person that knew, and you were sure that some of the vlog squad were starting to get pretty suspicious, because you were now way more fatigued, avoided drinking and seemed ill a lot of the time. You had also started to gain a little bit of weight, and it was visible in both your breasts and your stomach, but it was easily covered with baggier clothes. Luckily you were only an hour away from Toddy and would be able to tell everyone else the next day after your next appointment.

Your heart jumped out of your chest as Toddy and Scotty bounded through the door to David’s house. You locked eyes with Natalie, who gave you a comforting smile and a nod of encouragement.

When you first saw Toddy, you were shocked, he looked even better than he had the last time you saw him. His hair had grown out a bit, and his skin was more tanned than usual. You cursed your pregnancy hormones as butterflies started erupting in your stomach at the sight of your baby daddy.

You waited until the excitement had died down a little and grabbed Toddy and your bag, slipping away from everyone and pulling him into Natalie’s room, which she’d given you permission to leave.

“Woah, woah, woah, Y/N.” Toddy laughed, winking slightly. “I know you're excited to see me, but you don’t need to pull me.”

Your rolled your eyes and sat down on Natalie’s bed, pulling Toddy down next to you. “Toddy, do you remember that we had sex at David’s party about 3 months ago?”

Toddy grinned. “Of course, I do baby, are you looking for a repeat performance?” Toddy’s hand landed on your legging covered thigh and rubbed lightly.

You chocked back a laugh. “No, Toddy.” You decided to rip the band-aid off. “I’m pregnant.” Recognition and understanding shone immediately in Toddy’s eyes, and his mouth dropped open. “With twins.” You winced slightly, dropping the second bombshell. You pulled your bag onto your lap and pulled out the positive pregnancy test you’d shown Natalie a few weeks prior and the ultrasound pictures.

Toddy was frozen. He was so shocked, how had this happened? He wasn’t ready to be a dad. He was about to go and finish off a tour with Scotty, he couldn’t just leave Y/N alone in L.A., pregnant with his babies.

You lightly rubbed your hand on Toddy’s shoulder, and he snapped back to the present. You handed him the evidence and then stood up to reveal the slight swelling of your stomach. Toddy looked wide-eyed from the ultrasound pictures to your belly and back and forth until a slow smile spread across his face.

“Those are our babies in there!” He exclaimed and then held his hand out towards your stomach, waiting for your okay before he cupped your swollen stomach. “How long have you known?” Toddy was suddenly quite excited, he was still nervous, and he was sure he’d end up messing the kids up, but he’d try his best.

“I’d suspected for maybe two weeks before I found out for sure and it’s been two weeks since then, so about a month. I couldn’t just tell you over FaceTime.” You murmured. “Natalie knows, because I freaked out to start with and I knew that Natalie would know what to do and I told my parents too, I hope that’s okay.”

Toddy was still enthralled with your stomach gently touching it and smiling. “It’s fine, Y/N, you were all on your own here.”

You gave the boy a smile. “I have another ultrasound appointment tomorrow, you should come with me if you can.”

Toddy nodded and finally removed his hands from your small bump. “I’d love to.”

He tried to hand the picture back to you, but you told him that it was his copy to keep. You had your own copy, and you’d given one to Natalie, who you knew you’d make Godmother when the time came, and you’d sent another to your parents, leaving just one spare that Toddy could give to his parents if he so wished.

“We’d better get back out there before they think we’re having sex in here.” You joked lightly, pulling your shirt back down and checking in Natalie’s mirror that you were covered again.

You were glad but pretty surprised that Toddy had taken it so well, you were sure he was due for a freak out at some point, but you felt good about it then.

You smiled down at the new ultrasound you had been given of your twin babies, as Toddy drove back towards David’s house. You had been told this time that they would be identical twins, meaning that both babies would be the same gender.

You were surprised that Toddy was still taking it all so well and he had been asking plenty of questions to Dr Chang about the babies and how much you should be doing.

“Are you ready to tell them all?” Toddy asked you, looking over at where you were smiling at the images of your babies.

“Yes and no. I’ll be glad that I don’t have to lie to them anymore, Josh and Jason have started to get really suspicious, I’m guessing because they have children and Carly and Erin are a bit suspicious too. I also don’t feel ready because I don’t want our babies to end up as clickbait for David’s vlogs and I also don’t want to be judged that our drunk fumble led to this.” You ranted softly, knowing that Toddy would understand you.

“I think it’s time to tell them. We’ll just make it clear that we aren’t ready to tell the YouTube fans yet, so it isn’t to be spoken about in videos.” Toddy smiled at you, and you sighed in relief and went back to looking at the ultrasounds.

When you next looked up from the images, you were back at David’s, and your heart started to race. You and Natalie had spoken at great lengths about how you and Toddy should tell the rest of the vlog squad that there were two babies on the way and you had decided on a game of pass the parcel. It was a bit childish, but it would create shock. You decided to film it, pretending it was footage for Toddy’s channel, which in a way it was, it just wouldn’t be used for at least two more months.

You had wrapped a framed copy of your newest ultrasound, annotated to say baby A and baby B and a positive pregnancy test, in about 20 different layers of wrapping paper, shoving small packets of sweets in between. Natalie had made sure to invite everyone over, even the Antonyan’s and they were all just hanging out, unaware that they were about to receive the surprise of their lives.

When you got into David’s house, Natalie ushered everyone into the living room, and Toddy explained the rules of the game. To start with everyone passed the parcel slowly, but as the layers of wrapping paper diminished, they started to worry about what exactly was in the last layer.

Toddy paused the music again, the parcel in Zane’s hands and he wrapped off a layer to reveal a shiny red layer and a packet of Haribo’s. You knew that there was only two layers left now and was starting to get nervous.

The next time the music stopped the parcel was in Vardan’s hands, and he ripped it off to find his own packet of sweets. “This is the last layer,” Toddy announced with a grin, everyone looked slightly scared at the idea of having to see what Toddy had wrapped up.

Toddy let the music play through a whole song this time, watching amusedly as everyone practically threw the parcel to the next person. After the song ended Toddy stopped the music once again, leaving the parcel in David’s hands.

“Seems like all my surprises have come back to bite me on my ass.” David giggled but looked determined as he ripped off the last sheet of paper to reveal the small box, you’d put the frame and test in to stop anybody being able to tell what it was straight away. David gently pulled the lid off the box and peered in. “No way! Seriously you guys?!���

You grinned and nodded. The rest of the squad moved forward, trying to catch a glimpse of what was in the parcel, so David pulled out the stick and the frame and put them on to the coffee table.

“You’re pregnant?!” Scotty’s voice rang out. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He whined at Toddy.

“I didn’t know she was pregnant until we came back, it’s not the sort of thing she could just tell me over the phone.” Toddy grinned and wrapped his arm around your waist, hand wrapping protectively over your stomach.

“I KNEW IT!” Josh and Jason exclaimed in chorus.

Zane was staring between your stomach and the ultrasound picture as if he couldn’t understand how a baby got in your stomach. While Heath and David had gone to hug Toddy in congratulation and Erin and Carly were hugging you.

“Wait there are two babies?” Josh’s voice rang out over everyone else’s excitement after he’d moved to take a closer look at the frame.

Everyone went silent, and you and Toddy grinned at everyone’s reaction. “TWO?!”