#was also a shame they cut the unique field animations but may look into seeing if it's possible to restore 'em

[kaiowut99]

A Special Announcement~ | Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V Tag Force Special Re-Translation Project!

I've been itching to get around to posting about this for a few months now, but wanted to wait until I'd worked on enough for it, but also had the idea to create an announcement trailer to go with it for added good measure--after recording and editing clips for a couple weeks and leveling the audio last night, heremst we are! (For some clips, I forgot to turn off the PPSSPP emulator's DevMenu option so that shows up in the top-left, buuut I didn't feel like re-recording those, lmao.)

Details worth reading below the cut here, but tl;dr work has been in progress for over a year in between things, work will continue to be in progress for a while, and the release will happen when everything's ready, but stay tuned, fun's getting started etc etc~

So, I'm sure most of us are familiar with the as-yet-unlocalized-by-Konami TFSP, the seventh and last entry in the Tag Force series on the PSP that came out early in ARC-V's run (featuring the first five series which was a cool first), as well as the current translations out there originally worked on by the guys at XenoTranslations (omarrrio and ScrewTheRules/ClickClaxer01 at GBATemp handling the card and story/etc translations, respectively) and how there are... some issues with what's out there. Everything from the DM story mode being loaded with YGOTAS references (no shade to YGOTAS and much respect to LK/Martin for his ongoing work on it still making me laugh sometimes, ofc) to the off-the-cuff edginess of 2014-2015-era internet culture and the problematic (in some cases, derogatory) language that permeated it--though to its credit, some parts do have some level of translation attempted, but taken as a whole, it can definitely turn people off from giving the game a try and seeing what it brings to the table (which is still a good amount despite the corners Konami cut here/there compared to prior TF games).

I actually did attempt a translation of my own back in 2015 (if you've been following me for a long time, you might remember it lol), tackling the GX story text starting with Judai's heart events, but eventually put it on the backburner as I focused more on my GX subbing work and beginning to finalize everything (which I'm still doing). Sometime in 2022, a friend over on NeoArkCradle (the "anonymous YGO fan" in the opening screen) was poring over the story text and patching it up the best he could to remove the references and inaccuracies with more coherent work, and after a while of seeing what he was working with in the Discord, I was a bit blown away by just how inaccurate much of it was--so alongside him, and using the better tools available since then (including some really awesome work from both nzxth2 [who did a proper re-translation of 5D's TF6 not too long ago and was kind enough to release his tools for it] and our coding helper Xan1242 who we eventually reached out to for some help), I decided to *cracks knuckles* get involved and help give everything a more accurate and professional translation, much like I do with my GX subs, working directly off the Japanese text and files. I've been taking cracks at everything in between the GX episodes I've been finalizing going back to at least last January (and I'd used my little hiatus after finalizing GX Season 2's subs to really get at some other stuff throughout the game), starting with re-translating DM's story text but also properly translating other aspects of the game, from the character names (using the original Japanese names, including those of the TF-exclusive characters, partly since Konami made a whole mess of them in English TF1-5), in-duel dialogue, pack descriptions, and more to images with Japanese text (such as localizing the in-duel cut-in onomatopoeia as you see in the video above, or other little images throughout) using some Photoshop skills I've picked up. And it's been a joint effort, as said NAC friend and I have been bouncing off how we'd like to see this go between us to stay on the same page and all, while also checking with other translators there for second/third opinions as needed.

Our plan is to release two versions of a translation--one which uses the OCG [translated] card names in Story Mode, in-duel, and other text but not in the game's card system (mainly to deal with story-relevant notes like Osiris vs Slifer with the Gods or things like not-Utopia Hope being symbolic between Yuma and Astral, akin to how I do my GX subs), and one which uses the TCG card names in everything (like how the official subs go about it). While we're mostly working with the Japanese game files due to how the Xeno team went about decoding everything, we'll be using the card-system-related files from the fixed ISO provided by FLSGaming which fixed some issues that had been present there. And Xan has helped us with a plugin that will be used to apply our translations to the system files that were hard to edit otherwise (things like the character and recipe names, as well as the pack names pulled from for the Card Description screen), but more on how that'll work once this is ready for release, lol. At some point, I'd like to also look at HDifying textures and things, but that's definitely a bonus-level thing for after the main work here is done.

SO.

Currently, Story-Mode-wise, I've gone through everything up to Yusei's events--so Dark Yugi/Kaiba/Jounouchi/Ishizu/Mai in DM, Judai/Manjoume/Asuka/Misawa/Ryou in GX, and Yusei in 5D's have been fully retranslated, though I took initial cracks at Yuma and Yuya's events to get content for this video lol (I've also been intentionally holding off on as much ZEXAL as I can until I've properly watched the whole show so I have context). I haven't tackled overworld text yet, though (like pre-duel or the tournament-related text, which is all in the same file as all the story text). I've also been handling the in-duel dialogue as I go through the character stories, so also just up to Yusei, though I did take initial cracks at Aki's, Yuma and Shark's, and Yuya and Yuzu's for the video.

Other things tackled that were sprinkled into the video, along with some other notes:

Pack names and descriptions have been retranslated, though the descriptions may see minor edits closer to release for a little variety between worlds given the different characters at the shop. Character recipe names were also retranslated, with Yugipedia's translations for them used as an occasional second opinion, though ones based on pack names had to be abbreviated in spots.

Menu text, from the Options to Help screens and stuff in between, has been retranslated, as have in-duel text strings (so, you'll see a full "Activate Effect" instead of "Activate" or "Switch to Attack/Defense Position" instead of "Switch to ATK/DEF Position", etc--also fixed the "BATTELE PHASE" graphic typo, and NAC friend created a new translation for the "Turn Change" graphic for accuracy since ENG TF1-5 made that into "Next Player's Turn").

Database stuff, such as the Sound Test, Tutorials, Duel Missions, etc., have been retranslated closer to the Japanese text; originally I retranslated the Tutorial text via hex editor, with compromises done on quite a bit of it due to the space limits, but as Xan recently updated a text extractor tool of theirs to more cleanly pull out and reinsert that text, I've been going through and fleshing out those translations more (on my commutes to/from work mostly, to be productive lol).

As mentioned, I've been localizing/translating Japanese-text images throughout the game as I come across them, like with the in-duel onomatopoeia that come up during cut-ins or images in the shop/duel/etc screens using Japanese text, to make sure the game is fully translated.

The series logos, used during the title sequence and in the Series Select screens, were updated with translated fan edits shared on Deviantart (which we'll credit in the final release) for DM and GX, while the 5D's-ARC-V logos were edited to enlarge the "Yu-Gi-Oh!" text on them that was pretty hard to see originally.

The game's original opening sequence starts on an anti-piracy message before going into the Konami logo and then a "From Yu-Gi-Oh!..." screen before the opening animation for each series logo--the original team decided to use the first image to vent their frustration at Konami for not localizing this game, and while that's valid (to some extent), we thought we'd use the opportunity to dedicate this project to Kazuki Takahashi for inspiring our love for YGO and the place it's had in our hearts for all these years.

We'll be updating the names of cards that had TCG releases after the original patch was worked on/updated by FLSG to those corresponding names.

Xan has been working on many UI fixes for us to apply with this, among them 3-line dialogue box text as is used in the ENG TF1-5 games--once implemented for TFSP, I'll be going over everything to make full use of that extra space where needed, so things might not look as they do in the video by then.

Character bios will be worked on after I've done the story stuff, though I've taken initial cracks at it for Yuma and Yuya's bios for the video, along with translating the location/affiliation names ("Domino High School," "Satellite," etc).

Currently no release date is planned, as I'm working on this between my GX-finalizing work and actual IRL work, though we'll see how later this year looks as more work gets done--but as noted in the video, all things being equal, it will be released when everything is ready. I'll try to post regular updates or rambles now that this announcement's been made, lol, but do try not to constantly check in on a release date. 🙏🏽

All that said, I think that covers just about everything I wanted to put out there with this, lol. It's been fun to work on this so far and getting to see what I've re-translated in-game is definitely neat; looking forward to us being able to release everything when ready.

Stay tuned for more; the fun's just getting started!

[servingthecuntry]

Several things to say after the newest episode

WE'RE GETTING THE FATES Y'ALL(if u didn't see the episode trailer go back to the end credits and it'll be there)

Idk why they were moved to after the chimera fight but they're coming!!!!

Also I've been listening to the audiobook and decided to make a post of what we've been missing in the show

Some stuff makes sense like cutting out argus. Maybe it would've been too hard to animate all his eyes or his role wasn't big enough to fit in the time limit. But I've been craving for a missing poster with percy. At camp he's given a newspaper of his and his mums dissapearance with him as a person of interest because gabe calls him a troubled kid with a delinquent past. I get cutting out some stuff for gabe but it couldve been easy to see them walk past a newspaper of this on the train. Also there were missing posters percy would tear down when in the human world and I just want to see one person of interest or missing person poster.

Now SPOILER WARNING(books and show) but here are the other things I've noticed:

Grover got the flying shoes because percy isn't safe in the air due to zeus

The styx oath is super super serious

ANNABETHS BEEN TO OLYMPUS

Annabeth has a crush on luke(maybe they want to retcon that idk)

I'd been wondering for ages why the kids don't have cells ITS BC MONSTERS CAN TRACE THEM

argus is the camp protector and was going to drive the kids to the coach and for some reason they cut it out so we don't get to see a dude covered in eyes

Percy and annabeth aren't supposed to get along because of their parents rivalry

Argus may ship percabeth

Percy has missing posters everywhere

Percy is a person of interest in his mothers suspicious dissapearance because of gabe

GROVER CAN READ EMOTIONS (like auras?)

Grover eats tin cans and playing cards(he's also a vegetarian)

Percys mum married Gabe bc his smell hides percy from creatures/ monsters

Chiron has had a percy related prophecy that's only now starting to make sense

There were meant to be 3 furies on the bus(i can see why they cut this out)

Monsters come back to life and mrs dodds had come back

The camp was attacked by a hell hound out for percy who was fought off by annabeth with a sword and killed by chirons arrow (I get cutting out this scene but it would've looked SO COOL)

It could only be summoned by someone inside the camp and was from the field of torment so that's how they knew hades was the one who had stolen the lightning bolt and framed percy

A hawaian shirted tourist had taken a picture of percy with riptide

I'm guessing they rewrote the coach scene so they didn't lose all their snacks and money(rip grovers tin cans)

In the book if percy dies the quest is over and annabeth and grover have to go back to camp but I don't think that's an issue in the show(or maybe percy didn't know because annabeth didn't explain to him idk)

Annabeths never actually gone out into the real world since she was 7

We got to see annabeth unsure of herself because she's never gotten to properly fight a monster since she was 7 which is a shame to cut out of the show for her character arc. Tbh theyve cut out a lot of slower character arcs which is annoying but understandable with the length of each episode

Grover can play songs to help eg the find a path song but he hasn't got the hang of it yet

Hes basically a level 1 bard

Auntie M was able to use some kind of snake charmer ability

Grover was way more fighting active in the book because he found his uncles statue earlier than in the show

In the book they used a reflection of a spear instead of annabeths cap and annabeth was calculating how off the light would be because the spear was curved. Both show off annabeths intelligence but the cap is more unique and cooler on screen

When parts of a monster are cut off they don't disappear with the rest of it and become a "spoil of war" -basically a magically remaining trophy

Satyrs aren't meant to get migranes but percy and annabeth gave grover one at medusas

I'm guessing at least 50% of percys impertinence comes from being an only kid

This isn't a fact this is just something I started imagining after the 50th time someone said "Percy" with the same energy as a cat being annoyed at another housecat and giving a warning meow before attacking it

Grovers getting a searchers license to find Pan the Greek God

Grover doesn't know what happened to his dad who was also a seeker

The search for Pan gives satyrs hope after seeing what humans have done to the world

Grover tells percy annabeth forgave him for what happened at Grovers first assignment

The furies were holding back and could've been more aggressive than they were

Grover can use his emotional reading to see what percy hides about his feeling to his dad

The thing in Percys dreams tries using him to pull itself out not to drag him down

Grover can talk to all animals

Grover is a snorer

Percy tells annabeth about his dream at this point but I don't think he's told anyone about those dreams in the show

They've not said anything about the beads on their necklaces the campers get for surviving another year. Would've been an easy merch ad but maybe it wasn't important enough yet

Children of athena are made as thoughts of athena and given to people she feels close to or something

Annabeth was sent to her dad in a golden basket with the winds of zephyr

Even though she respects her mum she has equal level of daddy issues to percy

In chapter 12 percy acts like he doesn't care about his dad's approval but grover can read his emotions and knows percy sent medusas head so poseidon would be proud

But then he wonders in chapter 13 why annabeth acts like she doesn't care about her dad who seems worse than gabe when she still wears a ring from him which is such a teen thing for him to do honestly

Whenever a monster attacked annabeth the stepmum and dad blamed her for "threatening" their mortal/ normal kids

We get a hint of architecture nerd annabeth in the episode but she doesnt say she wants to build something for athena. I assume its implied but its not clarified how big her dreams are. She wants to build something that'll last 1000 years. I won't give any major spoilers but maybe we'll get it in a future scene and I'm hoping its in her siren scene

I think that while percy loves his mum and hates his dad Annabeth hates her mortal parents and Athena was her only hope of a loving mother even though in the show she says its a kind of transactional thing

Also side note I thought the chimera was the pink poodle before it left the bag and I love that they kinda sorta reference it when we see from the human passengers pov

In the books they're careful about mentioning gods around humans but percy just straight out calls the mother of monsters a monster in front of the passengers and officers. Didn't even lower his voice or anything

Hades has a helm that can make him become darkness and make you so scared you go insane

Do they ever get something equivalent to sending stones or detect thoughts like in DnD to deal with this? Obviously normal tech is out because monsters can track it but what about magical communication methods?(the iris video call system doesn't count that seems like a premium thing if it costs one gold drachma-also the book explains demigods only use gold drachmas even though in ancient greek it would've been silver- and they have 20 for the quest so they cant just use a drachma every time they want to send a magical text which; you can't do with the iris system. Also the iris system isn't any subtler than a zoom call so wouldn't be good for hiding stuff from hades)

Percy still hasn't gotten a chance to confuse annabeth with his blue snack foods(i assume grover already knows bc he'd have had blue sweets at yancy)

Zeus allowed the mother of monsters to attack Percy

The mother of monsters hates that ant eaters are named after the echidna

For some reason riptide didn't return to percy during the fight and its mentioned in the book. Maybe poseidon kept it so he could contact him?

Also a couple notes I've learned while listening to hesiod

The cyclopes helped zeus defeat kronos and bring the titans to their time out tartarus zone(not by crafting the lightning bolt in the original myths unless I'm misremembering I think they just helped in the fight like bringing your older brother to fight your bully)

The river styx is the only female river goddess and a favourite child

I hadn't taken any notes so lmk if u want me to add more hesiod fun facts and I'll relisten to theogony

I'm stopping notes here so I don't go past chapter 13: I plunged to my death

I'm thinking of writing my notes as I binge listen to the audiobook and editing them after watching the episode before posting on tumblr. Or I've already read until book 4 of the pjo series so I may decide to hold off on listening to the audiobook until each episode airs(I have vague memories of important or memorable stuff but its been a couple years since I last read the books). I'll see how long I can stop myself from listening to the audiobook. This isn't a perfect list so let me know if somethings wrong or if I missed something in tags or comments

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

Real World Inspiration

for additional physical features you can add to dragons! (previous post was an edit of the D&D black dragon. Next post will be some examples of dragon designs I made.)

The classic european dragon design used in a lot of mainstream fantasy is already kind of a mashup of many different animal features. Bat wings, long swan-like neck, lizard scales and tail, feet that look like reptilian lion feet or bird of prey talons, heads that are partway between a horse and a crocodile, horns like a goat or ram. They’re chimeric and that’s fun to work with. But they do often end up being mostly just big scales, a pair of horns, and then a lot of random spikes. And that’s fine, but there are so many weird physical structures that exist on real world animals which could easily be used on dragons. Let’s look at them in a series of specific categories.

(Under a cut cuz it got so very very long sorry)

(Description: a collage titled "spikes", showing real world animals with lots of spiky structures on their bodies. Photos of an iguana and a crocodile are labeled "osteoderms". A photo of an echidna is labeled "modified hair". And a photo of an inflated porcupine fish is labeled "modified scales". End description.)

Since dragons are usually depicted as reptilians, osteoderms and modified scales would be the most common way to add lots of spikes in a realistic manner. Iguanas have a whole crest of tall osteoderms on their spines, and the bumps all along a crocodile's back are also osteoderms.

Osteoderm means "bone skin" and they're basically just calcified skin deposits. Boney, but lightweight, not as sturdy as bones, and not at all connected to the skeleton. Armadillo armor is also a form of osteoderm.

Scales are made of a similar material to fingernails, hair, and feathers, and sometimes they get really spiky without necessarily including osteoderm structures. I used a porcupine fish for that but it turns out science is uncertain what their spines actually are. The thorny devil lizard is a good example though, that thing is nothing but spiky scales (even its big facial horns have no bone underneath)

And of course things like echidna, porcupines, and hedgehogs are covered in spikes that are just really thick sturdy hairs. Evolution is bizarre.

And those are all very effective ways to put lots of spikes on a dragon without adding extra weight from bone spikes that emerge from the skeleton.

(Description: a photo collage titled "dangly bits" showing several animals that have extra flesh hanging from parts of their bodies. Photos of a turkey, rooster, and long wattled umbrella bird are labeled "wattles". A photo of an anole lizard showing its throat display and a photo of a moose are labeled "dewlaps". And a drawing of a catfish is labeled "barbels". End description.)

Wattles are pretty common in many bird species. Extra neck flesh that usually starts by the jaw and may be connected further along the neck but doesnt have to be. The umbrella bird here has a retractable wattle covered in feathers which it can move to make it look like it has a very long pinecone hanging off its neck. I love how weird it is.

A similar structure is the dewlap, which can be found on lizards like anoles and iguanas, but can also be found in birds and even mammals. It's a fleshy protrusion from the neck which can be small and dangly or rather large. Sometimes it's ts flat, but sometimes it's chubby, like on some rabbits.]

And of course we have catfish barbels, which are like thick fleshy whiskers. Lots of asian dragon depictions include barbels because they take inspiration from carp, like the koi fish.

(Description: a collage titled "frills" showing animals which have various flaring body parts. Photos of a frilled lizard, a chameleon, and a photo collection of birds I couldn't identify, are labeled "crests". Photos of a betta fish, a black bass, and a lionfish, are labeled "fins". End description.)

I'm not sure the frilled lizard counts as having a crest but I had to include it somewhere. I did not look hard enough to learn exactly how it raises its frill, but I did find that the frill only has two very thin bones in it, right by the jaw. The rest is just really precise musculature I guess.

Chameleon crests are built on bone structures, like the ceratopsian dinosaurs bony neck frills. And of course, there are countless bird species that have feathery crests of all forms.

I know I said on my posts correcting official dnd dragons that I disliked the neck fins on those, but fins can look like that with sturdy points and scalloped edges. I just dont like the way they're usually drawn on dragons, with a singular lonely neck fin that has thick bones in it. It would be much more fun if it was accompanied by other fin structures to create a more cohesive creature. May as well go all the way if you're going to add any frill, right?

(Description: a collage titled "bizarre extras" showing animals that have really weird and unique physical features. Photos of a bat, a star nosed mole, and a mandril, are labeled "noses". Photos of a sage rouse's mating display and a frog's vocal sac are labeled "ballooning". And a photo of the spider tailed viper is labeled "lures". End description.)

This is the section for the weird miscellaneous stuff I basically never see in dragon art. Which is a shame because the real world is full of the weirdest creatures. Weird noses serve purposes by interacting with scent in complex ways, or in the mandril's case, being a point of display. Noses with weird structures can also create different noises for communication.

Lots of creatures have ballooning display structures. Usually for the purposes of attracting a mate and competing for territory. Sage grouses, prairie chickens, frigate birds, and of course frogs, all have weird throat structures they can inflate for communication, attraction, and intimidation. Dragons could even use it as part of their breath weapons. Why not have an extra sac in the throat to carry a special gas or something?

And lures! Angler fish, snapping turtles with tongues that look like worms, and this absolutely bizarre snake that has evolved modified scales on the tip of its tail to resemble a spider. Many animals use specially adapted body parts to lure prey, which then allows them to hunt without expending too much energy. Being a predator is hard work, and most predators will back away from a fight because they do not want to spend the energy or risk injury when they can find an easier target.

Dragons are huge! They must need so much meat to maintain their energy stores. I think it's sensible for some dragons to live quietly, spending as little energy as possible while they use adapted body parts to lure prey. A dragon in a cave with a modified tail that resembles treasure? A green dragon disguised as a small hill in a field with a long tongue that resembles a delectable plant to lure in cattle? Dragons in dark environments with bioluminescent lures? I know big dramatic dragon battles are fun, but this is just such a good concept I'm sad I don't really see it used.

Anyway theres a lot of real world physical features that I think could be used on dragons more. My method of finding interesting and unique ideas for dragons is usually to just google "weird/cool (insert animal here)".

[michaeloneillwords-music]

Oasis: Knobworth. Cocaine, Caricature and ‘The Culture Industry’s’ wet dream.

This week sees the release of the documentary film ‘Oasis Knobworth 1996’ which marks 25 years since the Manchester rock band played to over a quarter of a million disciples in a field in Hertfordshire across two nights. Obviously brand Oasis couldn’t miss the opportunity to celebrate its own greatness, in what is now being understood and accepted as some sort of era defining moment in pop cultural history. As a native of Manchester, who whether he likes it or not is psychically entrenched in the cities musical and cultural legacy and who was 15 years old when this event took place, I equally cannot miss the opportunity to challenge this retro fetish overstatement and present my own subjective understanding and experience of watching these caricatures of sex, drugs and rock roll as they rose to prominence. Let's face it ‘the culture industry’ has always needed fodder to sell to a teenage audience who in coming of age are flirting with the mask of social identity which is heavily informed by pop culture, and from late 1995 onwards Oasis, led by the brothers Gallagher were that fodder. The juggernaut of utter nonsense that they were peddling really began with the release of their sophomore effort (What’s the story) Morning Glory on the 2nd of October 1995, which to this day has gone on to sell in excess of 22 million copies worldwide, figures that depressingly highlight the state we are in as a species. Upon hearing the album as a 14 year engrossed in pop music culture I immediately disliked it. Gone were the walls of thick guitars, punkish irreverence and embellishments of baggy Northern Psychedelia that marked the best moments of their debut album, instead the listener was subjected to an overly clean, acoustic, commercial sounding record that was lyrically lazy, pedestrian and trite, to me it was and always will be an artistic car crash. It sounded immediately like a band uninterested in challenging itself or its audience, who instead were solely concerned with mass appeal, shifting units and making money. Whilst it should always be noted that the Gallagher brothers made no attempt to hide their aspirations for commercial success, material wealth and brand ubiquity, I simply find such sole motivations a turn off, that, more often than not result in utter dross, the kind that defines Oasis’ discography. Indeed, any ascent to the summit of pop culture will rarely be the sole result of an absolute desire for honest and uncompromising artistic expression, to just ‘make something’ regardless of economic reward or consideration for the consequences of what that expression communicates, represents or signifies. Indeed, such an approach will often come into direct conflict with the bottom line of the music industry, which is solely concerned with profit, monopolistic market control, the dissemination of ideology and projection of archetypes. And so it is that far from the ‘deviant bad boys of pop’ peddled by the culture industry press from 1995 onward, Oasis were actually a very obedient market vehicle for profit, who promoted nihilistic hedonism, idolatry, narcissism, misplaced masculinity, benign sexism, cocaine, lager and a depressing caricature of working class identity, and last but not least a brand of Beatles infused substance devoid pub rock. The ‘culture industry’ had been peddling this sort of shit from the mid 60’s in pop music and long before in general pop culture and as a result dear reader it was obviously very marketable once again to the mid-nineties teenage generation and to many subsequent generations for that matter. The game doesn't change. Oasis were and remain a wet dream of ‘the culture industry’, all too happy to short change a generation of youth culture with their destructive notions of cool, short sighted egocentric one dimensional outlook, and celebration of pack animal conformity under a banner of ‘rock and roll’ which signals ‘defiance’ ‘deviance’ and ‘hope’ but when unpacked and interrogated actually reveals a concession and obedience to the drudgery, depression and anomie of a top down controlled market culture by both the band and its disciples. They were without doubt a grey cloud of hard materialist understanding and sense pleasure that would leave Saint Francis of Assisi empty inside and reaching for a razor blade. I think it was the idolatry, narcissism and the reductionist mask of masculinity (that were all no doubt in the air at Knobworth, I couldn’t actually say as I wasn’t there, I had seen them on 26/11/1995 at the Manchester Nynex, and although I certainly do have deep seated masochistic tendencies everybody has a limit, and once was enough) that the band and its followers displayed that really didn’t sit well with me when the cultural juggernaut of Oasis and Britpop took off. These traits were for the most part distilled, embodied, displayed and performed by the band's frontman Liam Gallagher, a man whose answer to all of life’s existential conundrums is a pint of Carling. To me, Liam always carried a look of someone who had been asked a question they didn’t understand and was just trying to front it out with a gormless stare in an attempt to display some presence of depth and mystique to his onlooking disciples and celebrity obsessed media. When he did speak his articulations rarely got beyond how he was ‘mad for it’, how he was the ‘best frontman’ in the ‘best band’ and when his adopted mask of self-confidence was ever threatened would often bark ‘fook off’ in deflection and defence. Gallagher became the ‘Archetype’ that the modern-day British working class (and wannabe working class) alpha male identity is built on. Replete with feather cut, stone island jacket, adidas originals and cheap cocaine, ready to perform the identity prison they have adopted until the cows come home. I occasionally ponder as to whether the clinging too and performance of such a symbolically material identity merely masks an innate fear, and serves to deny the unpacking and unmasking of the ‘authentic self’, and how that process would more than likely contradict the projected ‘tower of strength’ that is indefinitely projected and protected by this deflective mask. I mean I thought we were an expression of consciousness with the innate capacity for creativity, who are looking to integrate the inner self into the ‘persona’ so as to not be imprisoned and tormented by the demands of the social mask, the gulf between the two and its insistence for the inauthentic? Who knows, and ultimately who really cares in this day and age. In terms of the idolatry, the fans deification of Liam and his brother Noel, alongside their deification of John Lennon, the two Paul McCartney's, Bozo and Poor Weller also really pissed me off when I was 15 and still doesn’t sit right with me today. It's the rock n roll hierarchy-musical establishment-gotta pay your dues-know the classics-they’re a fucking genius claptrap that really gets me goat. I mean fuck off, they've just made a record aided and abetted by an industry who want to flog them to death for moolah, and i’m expected to sit here and believe they're some sort of god like genius that captured the feelings of a mass populace, nah mate, it was capital backed exceptional marketing and mass gullibility. Limmy would capture working class culture in a 20 second video clip shot on his phone for nothing entitled “She’s turned the weans against us” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5VaPQflLq0&ab_channel=Limmy) in a far more profound and meaningful way 15 years after Knobworth. Furthermore, music solely informed and inspired by music and music history makes me want piss on my own face. That whole disciple of rock n roll dogmatic cultish crap, we want to be like our hero's motivation is so very depressing. I mean you’re having a unique subjective sensory experience, migrating through your own orbit of experience, and then when you engage with your creative faculties as a singular human being you adopt wholesale the principles and goals of those who’ve gone before you, or equally when simply embodying your identity it’s one built on the fetishization of a vapid celebrity archetype? Really? Really though? You’re not gonna take the opportunity to figure yourself out and project the uniqueness of your experience, reject or accept the external organising principles or merely just ‘mix the fucker up’? Hey who am I to pose such questions I guess, and in the immortal words of Oasis “You have to be yourself, you can’t be no one else”. Ha. I do think that line should now be updated to “you have to be a caricature of yourself because you cannot be anything else” though. Ooooh. Anyway, I shouldn’t really be blaming the current mask of one dimensional male social identity or celebrity deification on Oasis, they’re merely a cog in a machine that reproduces this reproduction over and over. However, that doesn’t detract from the fact that they are Manchester's greatest cultural own goal (shame really cause after the opening 5 or 10 minutes I was thinking we've got a team here), who made and continue to make to this day nonsensical grey groove-less drudgery a viable commodity with posthumous releases and as solo artists. Now that may be easy for me to say, as I was without doubt somewhat spoiled by exposure to the cities compelling history of DIY music from a young age, from the shadowy existential concrete corridors of Joy Division to the sharp witted marriage of high/low brow culture and realism/surrealism presented by The Fall, all the way through to the theological and philosophical street politics of The Stone Roses. Come 1995/96 I maybe expected more, but therein was a lesson for me, never expect, and indeed, always take the art and never the artist, and never ever deify. Musically Oasis were breathtakingly boring, real stodgy laboured stuff, and lyrically, to be brutally honest they were cringeworthy and embarrassing. However, to give them their due they did have conviction, but I’m sure that fellow Northerner Harold Shipman also had conviction in his creative output, but ultimately that doesn’t mean it was any good now does it? To me Oasis sounded like they were sent from the back of a battered cement mixer, or the lounge of the Robin Hood, or from the bottom of an overflowing ashtray on a coffee table in a council flat where shit cocaine is being relentlessly sniffed and Sky Sports News plays indefinitely. Symbolically they may be best defined as a scrunched up and discarded losing betting slip on the floor of a bookmaker’s that is heavy with the air of momentary hope, desperation, and inevitable loss. No thanks. P.S Look, all subjective criticism aside, Oasis spoke to millions and for that I congratulate them, they just never really spoke to me. Initially Liam and Noel were a breath of fresh air with their straight up lads with guitars attitude, riding their obvious desire with endlessly projected self- belief. However, to me there was just nothing after that initial Jab of intent present on Definitely Maybe and in interviews circa 94/95, there was no hook, combination or knock-out punch. Couple that with a general lack of grace, rhythm and finesse in the ring and to me as a spectacle it became boring very quickly, and as the rounds wore on that predictable Jab looked tired and stale, and the self-belief turned to coke fuelled narcissism. The ‘flock identity’ that materialised in the slipstream of their ascent and especially the attitude mimicry that was present then and remains today in the ‘Oasis Fan’ to be truthful is touch tragic. Furthermore, I've always held a deep-seated scepticism of the dynamics and motivations of 'the crowd' at the point of critical mass, especially when corporate power is deeply involved and invested in the relationship between the art and the audience. D'you know what I mean?

[preciseprose]

Kiki (2/2)

Prompt: Hanging Out (Companuary: February 2nd, 2021)

Fandom: The Owl House

Relationship: Belos and Kikimora (platonic)

Synopsis:  Kikimora talks about her life and Belos opens up slightly.

Author’s note: This is a continuation of the drabble I posted two days ago. It isn’t necessary to read that one first though.

- - -

“Where should I start?” Kikimora offered, accepting the glass of blood wine Belos had poured for her.

“Hmmm,” Belos hummed, drawing his fingertips into a bridge.  “Why not start from the beginning?”

They had moved to the back of the tent, which he had decorated with a pair of modest armchairs, a small coffee table, and a stone-lined pit.  A cold fire of red flame burned quietly within the confines of the pit.  The chairs fit Belos comfortably, but effectively dwarfed Kikimora.  He found the effect quite humorous.

“That’s quite vague, you know,” quipped Kikimora, before taking a sip from her glass.  “But I suppose I can start with my parents.”

Belos waited silently.

“I grew up in Aster’s Copse, the village you found me in when you first started your campaign.”

“Yes, I am familiar with it.”

“My parents ran a general store there.  It was nothing exceptional, but it provided us with greater means than most.  My father was a smart man but had little ambition.  He wasn’t a particularly warm parent, but he cared about me.  Sent me letters when I was away at school.”

She drew her hands up to clarify.  “My parents weren’t blessed with magic so they couldn’t communicate without the post.  Apparently, my gift came from my mother’s grandmother.  The village elders said she was quite the hellion.”

“A wild witch?”

She nodded, then took another sip.  “Oh yes, wild at heart from what I heard.  I never met her through, so I can’t be certain.”

“Curious.  Was she also the origin of your musical talent?”  Belos asked.  On the field, he had seen Kikimora employ a lyre as the focus for her spells.

Kikimora’s ears perked up at the question.  “My musical talent?”  She laughed.  “I wouldn’t consider myself particularly talented.  I’m competent at best.  Now my mother,” she conjured in the air before him an image of a demon similar looking to her but older, with slightly darker skin and aquamarine ‘hair’.  “She was talented.”

Belos examined the image more closely.  The woman was playing a lyre and appeared to be in the middle of some rousing number in a run-down bar.

“She was a minstrel before she married my father,” Kikimora explained.

“And after?”

“A devoted wife.  Then a devoted mother.”  She sighed into her glass, dismissing the image with a swirl of her finger.  “She’s the one that taught me to play.”

Kikimora opened the palm of her left hand.  A nine-stringed lyre materialized in her hand in a flash of red light.  She held it up for him to see.

Belos wordlessly conjured two light orbs to better examine the instrument.  She had carved the soundbox from a solid block of dark redwood and joined it seamlessly with arms built from olive wood.  The left arm was unique.  A winding trench had been cut into the arm within which lay a fanged, redwood serpent.  Its head, which spiraled off the cross bar, glistened in the light.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Thank you, my liege.  I carved it after my mother died, to help me remember her.”  She pulled the instrument back towards herself, examined it, then dismissed it with a swirl of her right hand.

Belos dismissed the orbs above, then brought his hands to his stomach.  

“I envy you,” he said after some time.  “I have little artistic talent.”

“Can you sing?”

He half-laughed.  “Like a tortured animal.”

“That’s a shame, sire.”  She responded, chucking to herself.  “I used to play in a band.  We could have performed duets.”

“You’re joking,” he said in disbelief.  He tried to imagine her in the same scene she had shown of her mother.  It looked off somehow.

“I am not.  We were quite popular too.”  She paused suddenly, then glared skeptically at him with her eye.  “You didn’t think I was a boring recluse before I agreed to travel with you, did you sire?”  She took another drink without breaking eye contact.

“No, that’s not it,” he said, waving is left hand in a circle.  “I just thought…  You project a certain image, you know.  I thought you may have stuck to hymnals.”

“Oh!”  She laughed, almost spilling her wine.  “Yes, yes, I know plenty of those from my time at St. Epiderm.  But they are dreadfully boring to play.”

“St. Epiderm,” he said, pondering.  “Isn’t that a school in Bonesborough?  Did you attend there?”

“Yes, it is my alma mater,” she declared proudly.  “I graduated as top student.”

“But how did you manage to attend?  You said that you grew up in Aster’s Copse.  That’s a week’s travel from Bonesborough by foot.”

“Well, I didn’t walk, my lord.  Not with these stubby things.”  She gestured to her legs.  “I was flown there, by my first teacher.”

He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms loosely.  “Another demon?”

“No, a witchling actually.  Our town’s local representative for the Bard coven.  Mr. Crowley.”  She looked away from him and into the fire.  “He was a kind man, nothing like the current coven establishment, my lord.”

She took another drink, leaving little in the glass.  “If it wasn’t for him, I would have rotted away in that town.  It was a sad day when he passed.”

Belos let a moment pass, then replied.  “What did he teach you?”

“Oh, small things at first.  What every fledgling is taught.  The five basic spells, spell circle theory, runes, basic potions.”  Her expression sharpened.  “Then he taught me the basics of elocution, the weaving of magic and words to persuade and influence.  That’s what set me free.  My final test as his apprentice was to use magic to convince my father to let me take the entry exam for St. Epiderm.”

“Obviously, you succeeded.”

Kikimora finished her glass and set it on the table.  “Yes.  I did.”

Belos snapped his fingers.  The glass disappeared.

“Did that test not cross a line for you?”  He asked.

“At the time, yes.  I think it did.”

“But in hindsight?”

She grinned.  “In hindsight?  I think was good for me, my lord.”

“Is that so,” replied Belos, interested to hear her explanation.

She turned to face him, pressing her talons together.  “It hardened me a little.”  She tilted her talons forward.  “Forced me to think about how magic could be used for my own personal gain, rather than the benefit of others.”

“You weren’t raised with that mentality?  That your skills should be used to further yourself before others?”

She shook her head.  “No, I wasn’t, my lord.  I was raised to be kind, and considerate.  Maybe docile is the right word.  Like a little doll.”

“Ridiculous.”

“Utterly so,” she agreed, settling back into her chair.  “Regardless, I can’t help but feel some guilt about abandoning my mother.”

“Why do you say that you abandoned her?”

She smiled dimly.  “I think it really hurt her that I left.  And that she was probably lonely without me, alone with my father.”  As she spoke, her eye drifted to the fire.

“And because I left, I didn’t get the chance to get to know her as an adult.  She caught the bone flu during that outbreak eight years ago and passed within the week.  By the time I could return home, she was almost gone.”

A silence emerged.  He didn’t turn to face her.  Instead, he looked into the fire and thought of his own mother.

“Kiki.”  He said, after a long moment of consideration.

“Yes, sire?”

“My own mother.  She, …died under similar circumstances.”  

He saw her turn to face him out of the corner of his vision.

“She was killed suddenly, while I was away.  And I didn’t know until I arrived back home months later.  She was already buried by then.”

She moved to speak but he held up his left hand to stop her.

“She, like your mother, didn’t want me to leave either.  But I did because I had to.”

He leaned forward in his chair and continued.  “I have no basis for this belief beyond the fact that I was a decent son, but I believe she understood why I had to leave.  And that she didn’t hold it against me.”

“I see,” Kikimora stated, drawing her hands into a ball.  “Thank you, my lord.”

He remained silent, having turned back to the fire.  A few minutes passed.

“It’s getting late, my lord,” she said, pushing herself out of her seat.

“Yes, I suppose it is,” he said, moving to stand.

She walked over to entrance of the tent, then looked back.

“Thank you for the conversation, my lord.”

He smiled beneath his mask.  “Goodnight, Kiki.”

“Goodnight, my lord.”

[ultramarcypan]

tradition

Arlo x Female Builder

It’s just a short little drabble I did for a friend, but I figured I could share!  I’ve played like 5 mines of My Time at Portia so I did have to do some research for this; warning that it may be OOC lmao.

It's been a strange year.   Good, all things considered she thinks, especially since she'd sailed to Portia on a whim to take over the decrepit workshop Pa had left her.  And workshop was also a generous term for the plot of land and shack she'd found upon her arrival; it had taken weeks of hacking and sawing at twigs and trees to save up enough lumber to patch the MANY holes in the house and slap together rudimentary machines for building anything more complex than a simple fishing pole.  She distinctly remembers how for the first month or so, every night she'd stumbled to bed with aching limbs and blistered, raw hands, and had to fight not to cry over the pain and the unfamiliarity of it all.  In her weakest moments, she'd even considered leaving.  Barnarock was only one boat ride away, and there was still a life waiting for her there.  She owed nothing to the sleepy little town of Portia, really.

But the townspeople had helped. They were a colorful bunch, the lot of them.  Barnarock was so different; people there minded their business and it was a miracle to get more than a curt nod from someone when you passed them in the street.  There was no mayor who had a good heart even if his business sense was questionable.  There wasn't just one restaurant, where people would call out to you as you passed by, invite you to chat and sit, buy you lunch because you looked tired, and then walk back with you to your house just because they could.  No one popped by unannounced at your house with a home-cooked meal because they'd made too much and were wondering if maybe she'd like some?  There were no rivals that---well, no, that wasn't being fair, Higgins was a unique person all the way around she figured, but it didn't make him any less crucial to the town all his.....eccentricities aside.   And there certainly wasn't any Civil Corp in Barnarock.  The people there scoffed at the notion of danger, living protected in high walls and isolated from the rest of the world.  The notion of animals and monsters roaming just in fields a stones throw from the town would've rocked them to their very core. The thought crosses her mind that her old friends would be shocked and possibly repulsed if she told them that she spent a good chunk of her time now spelunking in nearby caverns and sewers for precious ore and materials to support the town and the people that have become her new home and family. She's paid richly for her services, though she keeps insisting it's entirely too much.  It's not much different to how every shares their food, their clothes, their yarn, their tools with her---she has crafting materials to spare and the machines to turn them into things, so why shouldn't she give back to those who helped her start? Arlo had laughed when she told him as much.  "Well," he'd said around a grin.  "I imagine what you build has a lot more impact than just a homemade pie, no matter how nice it may be."  To emphasize his point, he'd gestured at his hip, where the gleaming sword she'd forged for him the month prior was strapped. Arlo was another thing that Barnarock didn't have.  That was the difference she was most acutely aware of. She remembers the first time she'd met him.  It had been two weeks, maybe, into her residency at Portia.  The fields around her home were relatively safe but also barren of any lumber, long since stripped bear due to her efforts to fix the place up.  And the colorful llamas that grazed just beyond had seemed so tame from far away. Turns out, the rainbow colors were the only nice things about them. She'd been on the ground, out of breath and bleeding from a nasty scrape on her forehead, dealing with the fact that a rainbow llama may actually be her cause of death when there had been a terrible shout from behind her.  Startled, the llama had reared and she closed her eyes waiting for pain that never came.  When she finally dared to open them, the animal was on the ground motionless, and someone, a stranger, was standing over her, leaning down. To her shame, she'd passed out then. She woke up in a building that she was able to identify as the Civil Corp headquarters in town, a place she'd passed by a few times but never actually bothered to go near.  She'd met them all that day, cheerful Sam who'd been the one to explain to her just what had happened, Remington who'd offered her a cup of team and a friendly pat on the shoulder while he'd looked over her cut once more, and Arlo, who'd lingered by the door watching her with sharp eyes and the hint of a frown.  Without the threat of dying to distract her, she'd been able to properly take in how broad his shoulders were, how sturdy his stance was, how comforting his very presence was. He'd shown up on her doorstep a week after she'd slunk out of their headquarters, apologizing profusely for her foolishness and thanking them over and over for their kindness.  She'd had all of 30 seconds to stammer out a hello and one more thank you for good measure before a wooden training sword was tossed at her. When she'd expressed confusion, Arlo had shifted his weight just a bit, looking her up and down.  "Training," he offered as explanation, and she'd blinked.  He had heaved a sigh, shoving his hands into his pockets.  "If you're going to be hard headed enough to wander straight into a herd of monsters," he'd said (which was a little RUDE, even if it was true) "Then I'm at the very least going to make sure you know how to defend yourself.  You can't count on me to protect you every time." "Can't I?" She'd mouthed off before she could stop herself, and then clamped a hand over her mouth.  There was silence for a moment where she was gearing herself up to apologizing once again to him when he'd laughed---a deep belly laugh, loud and proud and actually pretty nice to hear. "Flattered as I am that you think I'm that talented, let's err on the side of caution."  He'd spun around to walk over to an empty spot on her land and it hadn't even occurred to her not to follow. So yeah, it's been a strange year.  Learning how to sword fight, how to build, how to be part of such a tight knit community hadn't exactly been on her agenda, but she's not upset at how it's turned out at all.  And now, the year is almost over. Celebrations in Portia are just one more difference between it and Barnarock.  The town goes all out on holidays, and New Year's Eve isn't an exception to this rule.  She's never seen the plaza look so full of life, so bright.  The amount of candles lit all over is so high she's pretty sure it could count as a fire hazard, and there are streamers and ribbons and balloons of every color no matter where she looks.  The tables from The Round Table have all been dragged outside and not a single towns-person is missing, all crammed around them, sitting and mingling together and watching the clock tower tick down as a new year approaches them. She's huddled against the wall of Town Hall, preferring to leave the seats to some of the older folks who need them or to some of the kids who are struggling to stay up, slumped over onto the table with their heads pillowed on their arms.  There's movement out of the corner of her eye and she tenses for just a moment before she sees a flash of bright red.  "Hey Arlo." "Well, fancy seeing you here."  He drawls.  She rolls her eyes--where else would she be on the night of a festival?  "Mind if I join you?" "Not at all."  He slides closer, pressing against the wall with her, letting their shoulders brush against each other.  "Kinda shocked to see you here," she tells him casually, ignoring the way her heart is beating against her ribcage.  "Figured you'd be out in the wilds playing hero or something equally as noble." He huffs a quiet laugh, bumping against her lightly.  "Not tonight," he says.  "Even heroes have to rest now and again." There's a lot of ways she could answer that.  She could tease him for his constant need to serve and protect---one of his more admirable qualities, even if it worried her and the rest of the Civil Corp to no end.  She could accept it for the simple statement of truth it is, grunt and let the comfortable silence that is so common between them take over. Or she could be more daring.  More forward.  More honest with the feelings that the two of them have been dancing around for an eternity now.  Say something like 'Well, who am I to turn away a hero in need?' as she leaned more heavily into him, let her hand brush against his, let her thumb stroke over the calluses on his palm that she knows are there from years of training and hard work. She doesn't have to choose any of those options though, because a sudden shout goes up from the plaza and both of them turn, startled.  Gale has both of his hands in the air, and a RIDICULOUS party hat on his head, pointing up at the clock tower.  "10 seconds left!" The people of Portia cheer loudly, and she doesn't even bother to fight the fond smile that finds its way onto her face.  They count as one, loud and happy even in the cold night.  "10!  9!" "Hey."  It's the urgency in Arlo's voice that has her turning towards him.  It's rare for him to sound so serious without any immediate danger present.  He's fiddling with the hilt of his sword, a nervous habit he doesn't seem to be aware he has. "Yeah?" "8! 7! 6!" Arlo takes a deep breath in and it would be FUNNY that he looks so nervous because it is so wildly out of character, but instead it just makes her anxious as well.  "I'm gonna do something that may be stupid."   "What?" "5! 4! 3!" He takes a step towards her and then another, and even if she wanted to back up, the brick wall of Town Center is behind her, stopping any possible retreat.  "It's tradition?"  It's half a question, half a justification she hears from him.  "So I'm really sorry in advance if you get mad at me, but I've also really wanted to do this for months now." "Do WHAT Arlo?"  She's blinking rapidly up at him, at how close he is, praying that he can't hear the drumbeat of her heart over the shouts of the crowd. "2! 1!" Instead of a verbal answer, he swoops down on her and she has maybe a millisecond to process the sound of party poppers from the crowd as the countdown ends, the smell of his earthy cologne that's right there, the feel of his hands on her shoulder, before his lips are on hers and he's kissing her, right there in the plaza like it's the most natural thing in the world. "HAPPY NEW YEARS!" Her arms flail at her side and a distant part of her mind is shocked that she's made it as long as she has fighting monsters and mining if she's taken out by something as simple as a kiss.  That tiny voice gets shoved far to the side as she realizes that Arlo is pulling away, most likely because she's doing a wonderful impression of a stone statue right now.  Panic overwhelms all her higher functions and she latches onto his shoulders, tugging him closer again and finally, FINALLY getting the sense to respond to the kiss properly. It's nothing special.  It's barely more than the brush of lips against each other, chaste and shy and shorty really.  She pulls away after a few seconds and the first thing she manages to process is that Arlo is blushing, which is funny because the red of his face clashes horribly with the orange of his hair.  She giggles, overwhelmed by the whole situation, and burrows her face into the crook of his neck shoulders shaking slightly. "Well that's not very nice."  He sounds just as shaky as she feels, which is nice.  "A man kisses you on New Year's Eve and you laugh at him?  Don't know how things work where you're from, but a kiss on New Year's Eve is pretty traditional."  One of his hands has wandered to the small of her back and is hovering just above it, like he's afraid to touch her fully.  "Didn't take you for the bullying sort." "You misunderstand."  She mumbles into his neck, lips brushing against the soft flesh there.  She leans back just enough to grin at him, all teeth and promise.   "I'm just a stickler for tradition." And she pulls him down for another kiss.

[rahullkohli]

about the weight watchers app for kids...i’m thinking it may be for overweight/obese kids? i can see it being mentally taxing for those who are at a normal weight for their size. can you explain more about how it’s child abuse?

hello. thank you so much for actually being chill and open for a dialogue, unlike how aggressive people have been about the post.

anyway, i have been thinking about how to tackle this one the entire day, and i am afraid it’s gonna be a long one, so i’ll put it under a cut. i’m just gonna start out with a little background about myself, to explain how i am forming my opinions on the subject, and where my knowledge comes from.

i have been overweight more or less my entire life, even though i have gone through anorexia and bulimia, and have been eating below my necessary calorie intake literally my entire life (i grew up very poor, so we just simply didn’t have enough, or satisfyingly nourishing, food in the house). to this day i struggle with disordered eating patterns and body dysmorphia. i have been lifting weights on/off for 12 years, and i have been seeing a licensed nutritionist for a year and a half now, which has helped me lose 22 kg. i am still working on it. i have worked with a long line of fitness trainers (my mom is a licensed fitness trainer, for one), and about three different nutritionists. so while i don’t have any education in either of those fields, i have worked with professionals that have taught me a lot. i have also studied psychology in college for a year, and specifically child psychology for another year - i also spent a year working with kids ages 2-6.

my two youngest sisters did a weightwatchers program when they were around 8 and 10, so i have also seen upclose how that works. that was many years ago - and not in america - so i do know that the way things worked then/works in america compared to where i live, may not be the exact same. but the guidelines for the company, and their strategies should be the same, since it is afterall the same company. now, both of my sisters lost weight. they also gained it back. and more, and more, and both of them are extremely overweight today. in the way that i am the “thin” sister, compared. and they are eating disordered. they have no grasp of how to deal with food. they are intelligent women, and they know the basics of “if you eat too much pizza and ice cream, you will gain weight” but they don’t know, and don’t have the energy, to apply it to how they live. they are not only compulsive overeaters, they also don’t have a healthy eating pattern that could help stabilize their metabolism.

okay, so with that out of the way, let’s get to the actual app - and weightwatchers.

the app offers a diet, even though it is a fact that diets do not work. they literally do not. people who go on a diet will gain the weight right back on, and more. because diets are short-term solutions, and they are designed to make someone lose X amount of weight in X amount of time. it is not sustainable - just as with the oh-so-popular juice cleanses. for someone to lose weight, and keep it off, a complete lifestyle change is needed, but that is just not as simple as some companies, magazines, blogs, etc. will make it sound. because every single person is unique and what their body needs to maintain a healthy weight is unique to them specifically. in order to lose weight your daily calorie intake needs to be in a caloric deficit, but this depends on your height, your current weight, how your body is built, and more. those are things the app simply don’t take into account. now, i haven’t actually downloaded the app myself (i refuse to give them the clicks), but a licensed trainer i follow on instagram posted screencaps on her story. as far as i could see they take height and weight, and that’s that. but the human body is much more complex than just height and weight - especially when it comes to children and teenagers, who are growing, and going through tremendous hormonal changes. but i will get to that later.

what should also be taken into account are things like hormonal imbalances, and the fact that people breaks down macronutrients (carbhohydrates, proteins and fats) differently. fx, my sisters have poly cystic ovary syndrome (pcos), which means that their bodies can’t handle carbohydrates very well, whereas i need most carbs, medium protein, small amounts of fats. but apps like these don’t take that into account, because it is impossible for an app to do a check for what every single individual needs. i for example recently found out that my body doesn’t break down dairy very well. i have been using plant based milk, yogurt, ice cream and butter, instead of animal based for years, and only very small amounts of animal based cheese, so when my nutritionist had me switch to animal based yogurt i started gaining weight. i went back to plant based and the weight went off.

nutrition and a healthy lifestyle cannot be taught simplistic, because it is about the individual, and it takes a trial, error and do-over period to find what works for your specific body. and what works for your body now, might not have worked ten years ago, or ten years from now, because hormones changes how our bodies processes macronutrients. but this app is a “one size fits all”-system.

and this system. the system it is using is based on shaming children; making them feel inadequate, making them scared, and ashamed of their bodies. the “before and after” photos i have seen, have all been kids who weren’t even that big to begin with. and the fact that the “goals” to choose from when signing up includes choices such as “make my parents proud” is manipulative and destructive for a child/teenager. no kid should ever even have the thought that they need to be a certain weight/size, or their parents won’t be proud of them. the entire set-up is sowing the seed that their weight is the deciding factor for their worth as people, which is the beginning to eating disorders.

now, kids’ bodies really start changing around the age of eight (the age of which you can sign up for this monster); these years are called pre-teens for a reason. hormones really start flowing, and body fat is really needed to help the hormones and toxins take care of the body. but if a child is forced to lose excessive amounts of body fats, this can’t happen. this is one of the reasons that professional child ballerinas, gymnasts, ice skaters, etc. don’t develop until very late. some don’t even get their period until their twenties, because their development has been stunted by excessive dieting and exercising.

their psyche of children and teens are also really delicate, and they are in the process of developing what kind of people they are going to be. not only that, also what their relationships with their bodies are gonna be like. if they are constantly told by their parents/siblings/apps that they need to lose weight, that they have to track and count every calorie they consider eating, and every step they take, does that seem like a healthy foundation for how they view their body, nutrition and exercise in the future?

the way the app works is with the so-called stoplight system, where if when you put in a food it will either give you a green light (good), yellow light (medium) or red light (bad) - but the thing is that, again, that is not how simple nutrition is. you would think that the red foods would be soda, ice cream, chips etc., and the green foods would be stuff like fruits and vegetables. but again, the trainer i followed said that she put in her food for the day: a protein bar, two eggs with bread, and a piece of fruit. the protein bar came up red, the eggs and bread yellow and the fruit green. now, all of these foods are things that are written down in my carefully calculated meal plan from my nutritionist. in my plan i also have lots of vegetables, pasta, rice, chicken, even chocolate and chips. but the thing is that it’s all about how much of it i eat. and that is another thing the app doesn’t seem to take into consideration. if i was to put in nothing but vegetables it would give me green light the whole way, but it would not be nourishing for a whole day. 

this app is forming their minds to spend all their energy worrying about what they eat, when they eat, how they eat. think of an eight year old with this app going to a birthday party - do you think they would be able to enjoy regular kiddie birthday party food, with the red light in the back of their heads? even if it is just one day? this app is gonna rob them of their childhood, and being able to enjoy life.

so, what i am trying to say is that the app is bad because the system doesn’t work. it is not teaching healthy habits, it is not giving advice on how to obtain a sustainable weightloss, and it doesn’t care about whether the children are actually overweight or not. it is created by a company whose sole purpose is to make money.

i don’t think that all of the parents who are buying into this are doing it because they are evil; i do believe that they think they are doing what is best for their children, but their views on body images and nutrition have also been skewed by the media and the diet culture we are living in. parents may look at their daughter’s chubby cheeks and think she’s unhealthy when she is literally just a kid with puppy fat that she will grow out of once adolescence hits. sure, there are kids who are truly in an unhealthy state with their bodies, but then the parents should have the help from a licensed professional, starting out with seeing a doctor who can tell them whether their child truly is overweight to a degree that it is dangerous, and from there on be referred to professionals that knows what they are doing. kids shouldn’t feel guilty when eating, but they will with this app.

i do realize that overweight is a problem, for both children and adults - not just in america, but most of the western world. (fun fact: the other day i saw a program that said that china is, as of 2017, the “fattest” country in the world, so it’s not just the western world, i just don’t have enough information about other places to say anything about that.) but a “one size fits all”-app is not the way to handle this issue. there are way too many layers to the problem to fix that.

not only is it important to remember that overweight does not equal unhealthy, regardless of age, gender, race, or anything else, but unhealthy overweight is especially tied to low-income persons, as nourishing food is much more expensive and accessible to people with middle-class and above incomes.

there is also the fact that education about proper nourishment is non-existent. what people know about dietary information is what they get from the media, where they will tell you garbage like goat milk is bad one day, and literally the next the same publication will tell you it’s the fountain of youth. it’s unreliable, and has no roots in actual science. even statistics can’t be trusted, because those often stem from surveys and projects paid for by big cooperations who are paying for an outcome in their favor.

so, to sum it all up; this app is based on a system that uses bodyshaming and guilt to throw kids and adults alike into a vicious cycle of yo-yo weight patterns, eating disorders and hateful relationships with themselves, their bodies and their sense of selfworth. i don’t think parents who buys into this app are overall evil, but it is an obvious tool for abusive parents who uses guilt, shame, punishment and scare tactics to manipulate their children into the above mentioned unhealthy patterns, because the parents themselves are victims of the fatphobic diet culture we are living in. not to mention that the parents don’t have access to proper information themselves.

aside from that, you can also see in the notes of the original post, that there are incredibly many people, who will tell stories about how forced diet in their childhood/teen years has been a kickstart to a lifelong series of mental and physical health issues.

this app is preying on scared parents to capitalize of a beauty obsessed ideal that is completely unrealistic.

i have also written a post about nutrition here that may be of interest to anyone reading this.

i am open to any questions, and constructive criticism. other than that i just hope i have been able to explain why i believe this app is harmful, and that it has been an informative read. thank you so much for reading to the end.

xxx

[pythonees]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Three’s a Crowd - I - Embry Call & Paul Lahote

POSTED: May 28th, 2018

WORD COUNT: 3,327

REQUESTED: Anon

A/N: It might be 12 o’clock in the fucking morning, but I leapt my ass out of bed to deliver y’all this fic.

When Y/N was younger, she had befriended Jake and, by extension,  his two best friends, Quil and Embry. She had met Jake on a trip to La Push with her father, who was going there to visit an old friend from high school. Though Y/N put up a fight at first, she relented when she realized there was another kid to play with and she wouldn't have to sit around while the adults talked about boring things. Though hesitant of each other at first, the two of them found themselves playing in the backyard, getting into all kinds of trouble that left their clothes covered in dirt and grass stains.

It was ‘downhill from there’ her father had said one time with a fond shake of his head, looking a picture of the four of them covered in mud framed atop their fireplace. When Y/N and Jake were together they almost always came back a mess, clothes ruined and dirt smeared across their smiling faces. It was no surprise that Jakes two friends, Quil and Embry, joined in on the fun when they spotted the two of them playing in the trees when they came looking for Jake one day after school.

They hung out as much as they could whenever Y/N ended up at La Push, since that was the only time the four of them could hang out together. Late nights spent fighting dragons in the backyard, with Jake being the fearsome dragon since he was the tallest, and Embry and Quil the brave knights. They would always get a kiss on the cheek as a reward, but Y/N's stomach always felt jittery when she would give one to Embry, which always confused her.

As the four of them grew, so did Y/N’s feelings for Embry, once she finally recognized them for what they were. She hid them as much as she could, and it worked for the most part, but eventually Jake and Quil figured her out. They teased her about it whenever they could, and always tried to push her into confessing her feelings, but Y/N refused every time, much to the two boys disappointment. Y/N didn’t want to get her hopes up for nothing, knowing that Embry could never return her feelings.

When the four started high school, their get-togethers were becoming farther and farther apart, with homework, extracurriculars and part-time jobs getting in the way. Because of this, Y/N didn’t notice the apparently drastic shift in Embry’s behaviour, since most of their interactions were through texts nowadays. Embry was becoming temperamental and got angry at the drop of a hat, which was unlike him. She would get texts from Jake or Quil during class complaining about it, and she would try to help as much as she could from another city, texting Embry more, sending him funny videos that she knew he would like, which they said seemed to help. But only for a while.

Weekends were almost always reserved for her La Push boys, but then Embry cut ties with the three of them, first claiming that he had mono, and then not responding to her at all, even when she knew he was better. The next couple of days after he started avoiding them, Jake and Quil learned where he had gone. There was a group of boys in La Push, small in number, but had just recently gained their newest member in Embry.

Everyone in La Push referred to them as a cult, though Y/N didn't know why at first, until she caught sight of Embry and his new crew from a distance. Though he was far away, and his back was to her, she knew it was him. He was taller than before and built to the point that it scared Y/N, he shouldn't look like that after only a week. On his shoulder was a tattoo, and even though Y/N couldn't see it, she knew it matched the ones on the other three guys that he was laughing with.

Jake was also spending time away from Quil and Y/N, doing so with Bella Swan, the new girl at her school that he was also childhood friends with. Y/N couldn't really blame him for wanting to spend time with Bella, the massive crush he had on her was obvious, probably even to Bella.

That left Quil, who was probably the most bitter between the two of them, having his best friends abandon him in the span of a week for other people at seemingly the drop of a hat. As much as Y/N loved Quil, she could only take so much of his complaining before it drove her mad. Since they were the only real friends Y/N had, she had no one else to hang out with on her days off. But this didn’t stop Y/N from having fun, and instead, she went off and did things that they wouldn’t let her do, like go for a walk in the woods. By herself.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise that something would go wrong, but she was just so angry with the three of them and wanted to break away from anything that reminded her of them. And spiting them was the first thing her mind thought of.

The forest was beautiful that day, the sun was shining through the treetops, sending mystical shadows over the forest floor and Y/N’s skin. While wandering down many winding paths, Y/N found a clearing full of huge rocks and slightly overgrown grass, spotted with little flowers that made the whole place just look alive.

Weary of anything hidden in the field, Y/N slowly made her way towards a fairly large rock, and slowly climbed up it, not wanting to hurt herself so far away from any people. When she got to the top Y/N stood up and looked around, the view of the clearing had somehow gotten better from the little vantage point she was on. It was bright and warm, and it made Y/N feel happy, despite how lonely she was.

Pulling her phone out of her back pocket, she opened up the camera and took a few moments slowly turning in place until she found the perfect shot. Now with the perfect angle, Y/N went to adjust the brightness, but movement in the treeline caught her attention.

Y/N looked up from her camera to get a better view, but couldn't see anything moving past the trees. Figuring it was an animal, Y/N lifted her camera up, only to find that the screen had timed out, and had gone dark. With a sigh Y/N moved to press the power button, but while adjusting her hand the phone shifted, moving away from her face to instead centre over her left shoulder, where a woman with fiery red hair was standing.

Y/N jumped forward with a startled gasp, losing her footing and falling forward off of the rock and landing painfully on her shoulder, head slamming into the ground. The sudden impact with the hard ground disorientated Y/N, the edge of her vision black and hazy as she rolled onto her back, groaning in pain. The woman was standing above her, a wide, cruel smirk on her face as she watched Y/N blink up at her in dazed confusion.

As the black haze faded from the edges of Y/N's vision, she was able to properly focus on the woman in front of her. She was pale to the point that it looked unhealthy, and had bright red eye's. But the weirdest thing about her was that her skin was shining, reflecting light with her every movement, like a diamond.

"What- Why are you sparkling?"

"Hmm, look at that, the human's unique, who would have thought?" The redhead taunted, moving to crouch over Y/N's immobile body. She reached out, ice-cold fingers brushing along Y/N's face. Y/N flinched away, hitting her head on the ground in her haste to get away, "It's a shame, really. You've seen me, and I can't afford to have you say anything to anyone. You understand, don't you?"

Fear washed over Y/N's body, knowing that there was no way she was getting out of this, not with how hazy her head still was.  The woman knew this as well, mouth spreading into a cruel grin that showed off her sharp fangs. She lifted Y/N's body as if it weighed nothing, moving down towards her neck, mouth open wide. Just as she felt the pointed teeth graze the side of her neck, the redhead jerked back, looking off into the trees.

"Looks like we'll have to do this another time," The woman said, before disappearing from her sight into nothing more than a blur, dropping Y/N's body to the ground and jostling her already injured shoulder. There was rumbling from behind Y/N, and she slowly turned her head to see four massive wolves running out from the trees towards her.

Not knowing what else to do, Y/N watched them with wide eyes for a second, then curled in on herself, waiting for them to viciously rip into her. Instead, she heard the large wolves run past her, going around the rock and running after the woman.

There was one that she heard stop, it’s breathing heavy as it stood by her. Y/N didn’t know what to do, so she continued to hide, forcing her body not to flinch when she felt it’s hot, moist breath wash over her as it moved closer.

For a second, Y/N believed that she was going to die there, in the woods that her friends had explicitly told her not to go in. Instead, she felt the wolf's wet nose nudge against her hip where her shirt and sweater had ridden up slightly, exposing a sliver of skin. Y/N slowly looked up, tears blurring her vision as she stared up at the large, grey wolf.

It was strange, but Y/N felt as if the wolf recognized her, the look of concern on its face unmistakable, even though it shouldn’t have been there in the first place. Though just as soon as the concern is there it’s gone, replaced by a wide-eyed, almost dazed look that throws Y/N off.

Y/N stays as still as possible, watching the wolf as it watches her back, looking at her as if it was seeing her for the first time. Though confused, she doesn't move, even when the wolf moves closer, towering over her.

In slowly lowers its face down until it's right next to her's, and Y/N holds her breath, waiting for its next move. The wolf closes the distance to nudge its nose against her forehead, keeping it there until Y/N takes in a shuddering breath. It moves away, only to lay down next to her, now nosing at her injured shoulder.

When Y/N flinches back it lets out a whine, pulling away to look at her better. Y/N uses the space given to slowly sit up, cradling her arm to her body, watching the wolf as she does so. Despite how slowly she moved, her head still spins, vision going dark for a moment before slowly fading back.

The wolf lets out another whine when she sways forward, using its head to keep her upright. Once Y/N is steady and sitting up on her own, the wolf backs up slightly. It eyes her for a second, then nudges at her uninjured shoulder, nosing underneath the edges of her sweater.

"What are you doing?" Y/N mumbled, watching the wolf as it starts to slowly push the sweater off her shoulder, "You want me to take it off?"

The wolf nods, throwing Y/N off. She didn't expect it to respond but does as it wants, taking it off slowly. Once it's off she places it in her lap, but the wolf grabs it up in its mouth, running towards the trees where it came from. Bewildered, Y/N watches it run away, know that even on the best of days, she wouldn't be able to catch it.

Not too far away from Y/N is her phone, lying face up next to the rock and surprisingly, it doesn't have a crack in it, just a little dirty. Y/N slowly shifts onto her knees and then to her feet, walking over to her phone. She picks it and then immediately leans against the rock, the woozy feeling coming back.

Y/N unlocks her phone and quickly scrolls through her contacts, but more movement from the trees catches her attention. Bare of anything but her sweater, Embry comes running out from the trees, concern painting his face as he runs to her.

"Are you okay!? What did she do to you?" Embry asks, warm hands ghosting over her skin as if he were trying to sense where her injuries were. Y/N isn't paying him any mind, too focused on her thankfully huge sweater that was wrapped tightly around Embry's waist.

"It was you," Y/N mumbled, hand reaching out to grab one of the tied off sleeves, "You're the wolf, but how?"

"Long story, but right now we have to get out of the woods before that leach comes back," Embry ushers her away, back towards the path she used to get there. Waiting for them is another wolf, this one a dark grey, eyes narrowed as it stared Embry down.

"Don't give me that look, Paul, you would have done the same thing," Embry continues on, and the wolf, Paul, walks with them, constantly looking around.

"Wait, Paul? Like the one in that 'cult,' you guys were hating on before you joined it?" Y/N questions, looking at the large wolf next to her. The wolf lets out a huff that sounds like a laugh, shaking its big head.

Y/N can't help but laugh at Paul's reaction, it looked so human despite the fact that he was a giant wolf that stood taller than her. Paul turned to her, a wolf-like grin on his face, but it slid off once he looked at her, and he faltered in his step. His sudden change in step caused Y/N to stop as well, Embry not far behind her.

Paul had the same look on his face that Embry did when he first looked at her, but it was still just as confusing coming from Paul, someone she didn't even know. From behind her Y/N heard Embry suck in a breath, a mumbled 'no way' that was so quiet Y/N was surprised she even heard it.

"What's going on?"

"Don't worry about it, I'll tell you later," Embry says, and grabs Y/N arm to drag her further down the path, Paul once again falling into step next to her.

The three of them walk through the forest in relative silence, with Paul still scanning the area attentively, but this time walking so close to Y/N that his fur was tickling her arm. Throughout the walk, Y/N would notice the two of them looking at her from time to time, as if to make sure that she was really there, and hadn't gone anywhere since that last time they looked.

As they got closer to the treeline, Y/N could see a house come into view. It looked tiny compared to the towering trees surrounding it. Paul picked up the pace, veering off to the left and behind some trees. Embry didn't stop to wait, so Y/N followed him silently to the house, not wanting to be left behind.

Embry opens the door and walks straight in, gesturing Y/N in when she hesitated at the door with an encouraging smile.

“You guys are back early,” A woman called, and came out from another room, whipping her hands off on a towel. When she noticed the two of them she stopped, confused eye’s settling on Y/N briefly before turning to Embry, “Where’re the others?”

“That leach came back again, tried to attack Y/N. Me and Paul-"

"Paul and I," Y/N cut in, getting a playful shove from Embry in return.

"Fine, Paul and I brought her back cuz she got hurt,” The woman nodded her head absently, gazing out towards the woods. She gave one more nod to herself before turning to Y/N with a bright smile.

“You must be shaken up, come in, I have cookie’s that should be just about done,” Y/N followed her into the house slowly, giving her a hesitant smile as she fell into step with her, “I’m Emily, by the way. Y/N, right?”

“Yeah,” the oven went off, startling Y/N slightly.

“Well Y/N, I hope you’re hungry,” Emily said, leaving Y/N’s side to take the cookies out of the oven. Y/N watched her move about the kitchen, mind going back to the redhead from earlier. Though she was scared of the 'leech', she knew she wasn’t scared of Embry, nothing he could do could scare her, even turning into a wolf, apparently. But Y/N was terrified of what this all meant, of what else she might learn now that she knew of their secret.

Loud voices came from outside the house, and Y/N turned to the door just as Embry strolled in, who she didn't even know left, with Paul hot on his heels. Y/N instantly shot out of her chair to go over to Embry, wanting to be around someone familiar.

“What happened to that woman, and why did you call her a leech?” Y/N asked, stopping in front of the two boys.

"Cuz that's what she is, a bloodsucking leech," Paul stated, staring down at Y/N.

"Bloodsucking... Like a vampire? Is that what she is?"

"Yes, and they're dangerous, even those Cullens that claim they're 'vegan's'," At the mention of the Cullens, Y/N tensed up, having talked to some of them before, since she had all of her classes with at least one of them. Paul and Embry both noticed her change in demeanour and quickly asked what was wrong.

"I had classes with all of them. I was even friends with Emmet. Well, friendly, no one’s friends with the Cullens. Now I see why."

"What do you mean you had classes with them?"

"Have those leeches done anything to you?"

The two of them asked at the same time, confusing Y/N to no end. With Embry, it was one thing, but she only met Paul today, and his concern was strange.

"I'm fine, they haven't done anything. Why are so concerned, anyway?" Y/N said, directing the question towards Paul.

Paul looked a bit angry at the question, his hands clenched in tight fists shaking slightly by his sides, "Because you're our imprint, that's why!"

"Paul!" Embry exclaimed, shoving the larger boys shoulder aggressively, so out of character for him that it almost made Y/N want to take a step away, not used to this aggressive behaviour. Paul turned his angry gaze to Embry, the shaking in his hands thankfully stopped.

"What? She was going to have to know eventually, and it's not like our situation is normal, might as well do it now."

"Maybe you three should go take a walk, sort this thing out?" Emily said, startling the three; they had forgotten where they were, and that they weren't the only ones in the house. The encouraging smile on her face calmed Y/N down somewhat, but the confusion was still there.

"Yeah," Embry breathed, turning to the still-open front door, "Yeah, okay. Come on, we've got some explaining to do."

[the-marvel-imagines-blog]

Madness | Chpt. 1

Requests are Open

Chapter Title: “The Warrior”

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Word Count: 4,795

Warnings: mentions of character death, drinking

Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer”

A/N: I had my fun with this and took a lot of liberties while creating this story. You will need to suspend your disbelief as I have taken some stuff from (mainly) the cinematic universe but also the comicbook universe as well as stuff from my own imagination. Please note, also, that this story has some original characters and that the beginning takes place before the events of Iron Man 3. I really hope you enjoy reading this as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it so far.

I stood with a glass filled to the brim of Hjalmar’s favorite Asgardian ale. I never enjoyed the taste, but it was strong enough to get a man three times my size drunk, so I was going to need it. This was what we did after a battle. We had grand feasts and told stories of the battle we fought. Most of us would falsify how many we killed or exaggerate how graceful we were on the battlefield. Hjalmar was no different. He had stood taller than the God of Thunder himself, yet he was no God at all. Hjalmar was a simple warrior, but he was one of the best. The battle on Vanaheim claimed a few Asgardian lives, but none had been greater a friend than Hjalmar was to me. The drinks I consumed during the feast would be in honor of him.

As soon as I rose from my seat, Thor’s eyes, blue as Midgard’s oceans, landed on me. As he became silent, the entire room died down. Normally, I didn’t have much to say, but the prince-with hair as gold as the King’s throne-always knew when I had something on my mind. When everyone’s eyes followed Thor’s to land on me, I began to speak, “tonight, we sit at a table with places set for absent friends. Each battle that claims a life of one of our own also claims a piece of ourselves. Hjalmar was my closest friend, and his heroics on Vanaheim will be remembered by those who loved him...as I did,” I smiled in fond remembrance as my eyes lowered to my drink. The energy in the room was buzzing, even in the silence. I could feel the life surrounding me, and it gave me the strength I needed to gaze around at the faces in the room. I raised my glass, ale spilling out and trickling down the side, “so, brothers, I urge you to drink heartily for the fallen, and take pity on those they will conquer in Valhalla!” I exclaimed.

Cheers erupted from the half-drunken men. They shot up from their seats with glasses raised high and cheered before drowning their own sorrows in drink and celebration for the lives of our friends. Before I could drink, my eyes met those of my prince and childhood friend. Thor’s eyes were filled with understanding because he was one of the only people to truly understand just how much Hjalmar meant to me. Even in my darkest moments, when I felt completely isolated, I still had Hjalmar. Now, that security was gone. He raised his glass to me, and I did the same to him It was a mutual understanding. Aaldir-the man who raised me as his own-took in Hjalmar when he was just an orphan boy, roaming the streets of Asgard. He raised us both, and I saw Hjalmar as a brother and best friend. Hjalmar and Thor trained together during their childhood and fought at each other’s side in battle. My heart broke for Thor just as much as it broke for my own loss and sorrow, Hjalmar had been with me through my darkest nights, and now...he was gone. I didn’t know how I could face the only father I ever knew when I felt so much shame over the loss of the closest thing to a son he ever had. And Thor. The sorrow in those blue eyes cut me like a knife. I wanted to sob into my drink.

But I didn’t.

Instead, I tipped my head back and chugged the ale that left Hjalmar on the floor some nights. There were times when the massive drunken man would be held steady on my shoulder as I led him back to the house after a night of feasting and drinking. Tonight, I would have no one to carry home. Just the thought of it brought tears to my eyes, and I finished my glass of ale, tossing the empty cup to the side. I walked away from the noise and out into the fresh air. As I stared out into the vast universe, I wondered if he could see me. I wondered if he could understand that I hated him for leaving me to live the rest of my life without him. I wondered if he could understand that I still loved him with every fiber of my being because he was the only family I ever had. The thoughts clouded my mind so heavily that I almost didn’t hear the soft footsteps behind me. However, I was always aware of him. Thor. There had only been two other people I was more in tune with, and I couldn’t even bring myself to say their names anymore.

As I leaned against the railing of the balcony, Thor stepped beside me and copied my stance. I felt his gaze on the side of my face, almost like he was trying to read me like a book. I shook my head, strands of hair falling from behind my ears. My heart felt like it was being torn in two, “none of this feels right. Valhalla wasn’t ready for Hjalmar, and I’m not ready to let him go,” I confessed, tears filling my eyes once again, “I just...can’t close my eyes without seeing it,” I added, turning to face the golden-haired God of Thunder.

Thor’s hands cupped my cheeks, and I leaned into his warm touch. The only other man to make me feel so safe was...him, and that comfort died when he used his power to torment and murder the Midgardians without a hint of guilt. I fought back the tears, never wanting my prince to see me as just another hopeless maiden. Asgardian women were meant to be strong. We gave life to the God’s, so were we not stronger than them? I could not show my weakness to Thor, not now, not when he lost so much, “you should not worry yourself with things outside the realm of your control, my lady,” he spoke, stroking my cheek with his calloused thumbs, “Valhalla received a great and glorious hero when Hjalmar walked through those doors. He will continue to fight and drink and eat as he always did in life, and there will come a day when we’re all together again. I understand he was one of your closest friends, but he died a valiant death, and you will see him again in Valhalla someday,” he reassured me.

I pulled away from his grasp and stared down at the streets below where I was beaten and abused for defending my prince. Not Thor. Him. I shook my head, my bottom lip quivering and, in my eyes, resurfaced unshed tears for a man that died long ago, “my sorrow is not only for Hjalmar. I think of-” my breath hitched in my throat, and I swallowed back the sob that threatened to shake my body. I swallowed and grimaced, fighting back the need to shed tears on behalf of a man who caused so much destruction but tried to protect me from it at the same time, “I think of how your brother was dragged through the streets of Asgard in chains...like he was an animal.”

“I do not enjoy seeing this, either, but I’ve tried to think of it like a hunter coming back from a successful hunt. He will speak of it for weeks after. While my father may be taking this too far, he does it out of pride for our accomplishment. You, me, and the heroes of Midgard brought my brother to justice, and this is my father’s way of rejoicing” he tried to explain. Thor always did his best to soothe me. Seeing that his words did nothing of the sort, he continued, “his treatment will not upset you so much if you can remember what he did on Midgard.”

“How could I forget it?” I snapped, suddenly angry that a man who knew me so well assumed that it would be possible for me to forget something so tragic and so deeply disturbing. I could remember seeing him on Midgard. I could remember the pain and fear in his eyes when they met mine. He still wore green, and a part of me resented him for it. The man I knew was still alive beneath the hatred and anger he felt. What could one do when the person that holds the largest piece of their heart poses the biggest threat to all they hold dear? Life. He destroyed so much of that while on Midgard, and I could not forget it. It would be a my most haunting memory for the rest of my days. My eyes lowered as I realized how wrong it was for me to be upset with Thor when I did not feel any true anger toward him, “it all seems like...like a nightmare that I should be waking up from. None of this seems real anymore,” I explained.

He reached down between the two of us and grabbed my hand in his much larger one. His long fingers intertwined with mine, and, as I looked up at him with concern for the sudden motion that would undoubtedly draw attention to the two of us, he smiled down at me, “come with me” he urged, giving my hand a gentle tug in his direction. We began walking, the sleeves of my dress and his black robe that draped over his broad shoulders hid our hands from the prying eyes of the warriors who were still feasting. There had already been whispers of who his queen would be when he assumed the throne, and the moment he was seen with any acceptable woman, it would be scrutinized. I did not wish for my relationship with one of my greatest friends to be jeopardized over something so trivial.

As we walked out of the sight of the crowds, he pulled me closer to him. Soon, I found my arm looped through his, and we walked together toward the forest. I glanced up at him, taking in the view of the man before me. I couldn’t deny his beauty. Each day I knew him, he grew more and more beautiful, and there was a small piece of me that wondered what it would be like to be the object of his deepest affection. Still, I could only entertain the idea because an even larger part of me would be...his. I shook the thought from my mind as we made our way to a small clearing in the forest. At the very middle of the field of green was where I would sit most days, my back leaned against the most beautiful and unique tree of them all. We all knew it as “Life’s Tree.” The trunk was as brown as the earth with flowers lining the branches overhead. I glanced up at Thor, “why did you take me here?” I asked.

He smiled down at me as he sat against the tree as he had so many times before. I would bring him to that very spot so many times in our childhood, and I would sit with him. As we grew older, he would find his moments of peace and solitude in the forest with me, but nothing compared to the moments I shared with him underneath that tree. They were moments of pure peace and beauty. It was when our lives were much simpler, when it was no worry how long we were wrapped up in each other. He was no prince in the eyes of Odin, but he was my prince, “these woods are your home” Thor answered, breaking me from my train of thought, “in over a thousand years, do you truly believe I haven’t noticed you singing to the trees? Odin claims time and time again that this forest is healthier now than ever before, that your presence has helped it thrive,” he stated.

“The king...your father has always been more poetic than most,” I exclaimed, smiling down at him before I lowered myself onto the ground next to him.

He chuckled to himself as his gaze flickered up to the flowers on the tree. The red and white petals caught every hint of starlight, and it spilled down onto the two of us, specks of light illuminating his face to me, “I asked my father the story of this tree once, especially why the leaves do not fall like the rest and why it is unlike the other trees in this forest. He told me that a long time ago, this used to be a simple meadow. No trees and no life could be found here. Then, one day, Death itself planted this tree beneath the biggest star in the night sky, and her tears watered the sapling. No one touched the sapling from that moment on, but it still grew and brought up the most beautiful forest in all the Nine Realms with it. The red flowers symbolized the violence and bloodshed of death, and the white represented the purity and innocence of all life at the beginning. The reason why it never withers is because these two forces have danced together since the beginning of the universe, and it will continue long after you and I cease to exist,” he murmured, recalling the story with fond memories of this place. He stared down at his hands that were folded across his lap, “your problem is not that my brother was taken through the streets as much as it is you cannot visit him.”

I shook my head in disagreement even though my heart knew his words to be true. For so many years, I tried to pretend that I didn’t care about him. When he betrayed Asgard and tried to kill Thor on Midgard, I tried to forget the man he was before. When he fell from the bifrost, I tried to forget the joy he brought to my life. When I saw him on Midgard, I lied to myself-told myself that I didn’t want to save him. I still did. I wanted to do it for myself and for him...and for her. My sorrow grew, “there is no part of me that wishes to see your brother. I care not of him but of the safety of Asgard,” I lied.

Thor saw right through me and challenged me, “then why does Odin’s treatment of him trouble you?” he asked, his hand grasping mine as he often did when he could feel my sadness. Too many people believed Thor to be a lumbering oaf, but he was so intelligent and so intuitive. He could read me like an open book most of the time. He was so compassionate and pure of heart. His mere existence made me want to cry tears of joy as he was one of the most selfless and heroic men I knew. In every moment I felt unsure of myself, his support was something as small as squeezing my hand, or it could be as extravagant as lifting me up off the ground with shouts of celebration. He was not only a hero to the Midgardians. He was mine, too.

His gentle squeeze of my hand was all it took for me to come up with the right words to articulate what I truly felt, “locking away someone like...him is dangerous, especially when he is given no time to visit with others. Think of how much hate and filth is in those dungeons. A man like your brother is sitting in that cesspool, soaking it all in. He’s listening and calculating. That anger within him is festering, especially when he has no one to put out that raging fire in his heart. He’s becoming more and more dangerous the longer he sits down there. I only fear for the safety of my home and the safety of my people,” I explained.

“The people of the Nine Realms are safe because of his sentencing. He hasn’t tried to break out of his cell thus far, but if he does, we’ll be ready for it. And may the gods take pity on any being who should go up against the likes of you,” he assured me with a soft chuckle to lighten the mood. Upon seeing that I couldn’t even muster a smile, he frowned,“you have a heart too kind for this world and all others, Lady Eva. You are a beacon of light that people look to, and you have lightened the darkness in my own life time and time again. I know that you seek to find good within my brother, but after all he has done, after all the destruction he has left in his wake, he deserves none of that compassion. Deep down, I think you know it’s true. That’s why you have not spoken his name since the battle of New York. I love my brother, but I cannot forgive him for what he has done to both the population of Midgard as well as what he has done to you. He has caused you so much distress and sorrow, so much pain and misery. I cannot trust him with the people of Asgard, and I certainly cannot trust him with you, my lady”

“Do you know what it’s like to feel lonely, my prince? Do you know how it feels to walk through the forest with the trees being your only friends? Do you understand how it feels to sit next to the water and listen to it splashing against the rocks because that’s the only way to drown out the voices of those who have hurt you? Do you understand what it’s like to wish for a table full of friends and family who love you? I do. Your brother does, too,” I explained, trying to make Thor see that before he tried to take over the throne, his brother was gentle. He enjoyed causing mischief, but he needed some way to release his sorrow and grief. I continued, “you think that he pushes people away to hurt them, but he does it because he’s afraid of hurting them. He has been told all his life-since we were children-that he is an abomination, that he’s no good, that he doesn’t belong here. What do you think he sees when he looks in the mirror? He knows what he is, and he knows he’s capable of hurting others, so he pushes them away before that can happen. He has tried to protect us just like you’ve always tried to protect me. The man we knew before is still alive inside that man we saw on Midgard. I know it, and I’m going to bring him back,” I added.

“You have enough hope for the both of us, my lady. You’ve always had a heart big enough for every living thing in the Nine Realms combined. I just wish to see you at peace. You have worried for him long enough,” he stated, recalling the many times in the past when I would fret over the raven-haired God and how the Asgardian people treated him. I worried about him more than I ever did myself. When we were on the battlefield together, I would put myself in harms way for him, but he did the same for me time and time again, so I owed him, “will you be okay with just your own company tonight, Lady Eva?” he asked

I saw the reflection of my green eyes in his blue ones, and it made my heart ache even more than before as I thought of the countless moments the same thing happened between myself and him. His eyes were the purest shade of blue, brilliant and deep. I nodded my head, suppressing some of my most beautiful memories to keep myself from feeling the pain of his absence, “the trees will watch over me through the night. Like you said before, this forest is my home,” I answered.

“Sing a song for him tonight-for both of them, as I know you miss her just as much,” Thor suggested, knowing that I needed some way to process. I couldn’t go home to face Aaldir, and I would isolate myself for the time being. Singing to the trees had always been something that I used to soothe myself, and it helped lift the sorrows of death from my heart.

My fingers brushed against his hand. The only thing I desperately wanted in that moment was to feel the touch of another, and if I had it my way, I would’ve been speaking with the man who was the polar opposite of the God of Thunder. If I had it my way, I would be sitting beneath that same tree, braiding his black hair away from his face. Instead, for that moment, I had to settle for the possibility that I would never see him again. I glanced up at Thor, “will you be listening?” I asked in reference to his suggestion.

He smiled and stood up from the forest floor. I followed him, my deep green gown straightening itself as I rose. His eyes softened as he gazed down at me, “I’m always listening,” he assured me, leaning down and brushing his lips against my cheek. I felt like crying. I loved Thor with every inch of my heart. He was one of my greatest friends, and I wouldn’t trade him for the world. However, I needed him. I needed him in that very moment. After all I had lost that day, I needed to know that I wasn’t losing him, too.

When Thor pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine, I felt the familiar trembling in my knees that I did before he first kissed me in our younger years. It was not the first time I had been kissed, and it was not the last, but it was a moment of clarity the two of us shared with each other. As he smiled at me, I couldn’t help but allow my sorrow to melt away just in that moment. I was brought back to a simpler time, a time when I didn’t know as much of the cruelty in the Nine Realms as I did now. I was oblivious to so much of the pain that humanity experienced. I didn’t know true sorrow until I gave my whole life away. Now, I was clouded by the pain and suffering so many living things experienced in their lives, and it tore me apart. However, as I stood there with Thor under the light of the stars, I was brought back to the simple moments, like when he told me that he could see all Nine Realms in my eyes or when he traced the constellations on my skin in the silence of the forest. Or when she first smiled at me.

After Thor’s silent retreat back to the castle left me in the forest alone, I gazed up at the white and red blossoms of the tree before resting my palms against the trunk. The energy from the tree flowed through me, and I passed my own energy into the tree. I closed my eyes and felt the essence of the whole world at the tips of my fingers. I felt her sorrow as if it were my own, just as I felt her joy as if it were mine. To me, the world was alive, and there had never been a day when I took her gifts for granted. She was mystical and wonderful. She sustained each of us, giving of herself every single day for thousands and thousands of years. I mourned with her when she grieved for those lost in battle, for she provided for them until their last day, and she didn’t like saying goodbye. Just as I mourned with her, she did the same with me, too. It was as if we were one and the same. I knew that a part of her felt sorrow and grief for the same strange reason I was. It was because of him.

As I thought of the other beautiful moments of simplicity in my life, the moments of purity, he was in so many of them. Even though he had been stripped of his innocence so long ago, there was something that held him together. Even though he experienced so much prejudice and cruelty in his early years, he maintained his positivity through our childhood and early adulthood. My prince, my prankster, my friend. Malevolence surrounded him the last time we saw each other in New York. I saw a man who killed my best friend and took his name and face. He wouldn’t even look at me during his sentencing, but I couldn’t help but wish he had. My peaceful moment with Thor was meant to be with him. Every single moment of my life was meant to be spent with him. I did not hate him for the hurtful things he said to me on Midgard. I did not hate him for pushing me away time and time again. I hated him for taking away the one thing that made my fight worth it. I hated him for making me care so deeply for him, that the rest of the Nine Realms disappeared when he was with me. I missed him with my whole heart, and I made up my mind in that moment. I would save him even if he didn’t want me to.

*Loki’s POV*

As I sat in the dungeon, books strewn across the floor, I dared to close my eyes. Every time I did, I could see her green ones staring back at me. I could still see the fear and anguish that struck her when she saw me on Midgard, and I wished for her to simply kill me. The pain became more and more unbearable the more I closed my eyes. I could not sleep without dreaming of her, without contemplating how my actions ruined her. My mind was no longer my home, and I wished for her to just put me out of my misery. Every time the dungeons fell silent at night, I could still hear her whisper my name under her breath. I was brought back to Midgard, and I could still feel the pain my actions caused her.

The dungeons had not fallen silent just yet, but I hoped that the guards would come down soon to quiet the other prisoners. I clenched my jaw, a piece of me wishing for the noise. I could not bear to hear her disembodied voice anymore, the sound of her cries still echoing in my mind. I had not seen her shed the tears, but I heard them on our way back from Midgard. The guards had pushed me along, and she stayed behind me, comforted by my older brother who deserved someone like her. I certainly didn’t. I knew that if the silence fell to leave me with her voice in my mind, I would fall into the pit of madness I knew so well. The cell I was imprisoned in had already seen enough of my fury.

Suddenly, a soft melody cut through the shouts, and my heart dropped to the floor. Everyone became still. The prisoners stopped banging on the walls of their cells, the guards stopped speaking with one another, and everyone stopped yelling. Everything fell completely silent-so silent I could hear the guard from across the room shift his weight onto his other foot-and we listened to the song.

“Now, the stars shine brightest wherever you are, and they will shine on me no more.”

It was her.

The voice, the beautiful melody, the sorrowful lyrics-it all pointed to her.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes to welcome sleep for the first time in days. Still, I could not fall asleep. When I closed my eyes, I saw hers, and they were filled with tears. They twinkled as they fell from her green eyes, like stars falling from the night sky. She was in mourning. I could feel it. I felt the way her heart was breaking, and there was nothing I could do about it. There had been so many moments that I would run to her aid when I felt her pain and anguish, but this was one of the many moments when I wanted to be there with her, but I couldn’t do it. She didn’t need me, anyway. I was a monster, and she was...not. She was my friend, my princess, my love.

My Eva.

[jounetsulovers]

Top 11 Inazuma Characters

Tagged by @blueberry-pastel! Thank you so much. <3

11. Senguuji Yamato.

For all my talk about the villains of Inazuma, it feels fitting to have some kind of rep on that list, even though he’s more of the final rival than anything else. The first season of Go holds a special place in my heart, and I think Yamato is an especially fun and thematically appropriate final boss. His Avatar his cool, his relationship with his dad warms my heart, his design is nice, and the way he’s animated, especially when using King Fire, always looks really nice! He’s my go-to goalie in the Go games, and on that basis alone it didn’t feel right to have a list without him.

10. Raimon Natsumi.

Natsumi was my favorite manager for a long, long time, and there’s a lot of things to absolutely love about her. Her arc, tracing from the beginning of the original series to the very end, where she slowly lets her defenses down and engages earnestly with soccer and the team. Her extremely sweet friendships with all of the managers. Her relationship with her dad, which is an often-underlooked but no less important part of the entire story. The little background details, and how we learn throughout the Chrono Stone games that she’s become the chairman of Raimon after Fifth Sector collapses. Her recent appearance in Orion had me grinning the entire time. For sheer character growth, it’s hard to compete with her.

9. Kidou Yuuto.

Somehow, Kidou Yuuto exists, and the show is better for it. If someone were to ask me who had the best and most complete character arc, I’d point to Kidou without question. He’s the complete package: great and memorable character design, strong personality, growth, excellent moves, great character dynamics, downright iconic scenes. His backstory and everything involving his and Haruna’s family makes me cry every time, no matter what format it’s in. From enemy to rival to best, best friend, Kidou Yuuto is stellar character work on the part of Level-5.

8. Teres Tolue.

The anime does not do Teres Tolue justice. For all the brief but excellent scenes he does have, they are nothing compared to the wonderful scenes he gets in the third Inazuma game. This is a shoutout to the defender who isn’t afraid to speak his mind, even at the cost of sounding callous. Who cracks jokes at the worst of times, but also has a heart of gold. Whose confidence is genuinely matched by excellent work on the defense line. Liocott Island is full of captains with big personalities and sad backstories, and it’s a shame Teres seems to often be left out of the conversation, because he was my favorite back in 2012 and now, finally getting to play the games in full, he’s even better than I remembered.

7. Yamana Akane.

If the anime did not do justice to Teres, they did an absolute disservice to Yamana Akane. Much like Teres, she has wonderful moments in the anime. But they are limited, and do not capture the true delight that is her personality. Everything she is, she’s even more in the games, and I genuinely think she has the best one-liners in perhaps the entire series. Even if she isn’t the deepest manager, she’s the one that makes me smile the most. She’s funny, she’s creative, she’s bold and not afraid to speak about the things she likes. Yamana Akane, best manager.

6. Saginuma Osamu.

Saginuma Osamu is a character that exists in a constant duality. He’s a terrifying, imposing presence as Desarm, but also an admirable rival. He’s absolutely unmatched on the soccer field, with the technical know-how and talent to easily slide into three positions on the field, but also one of the hardest-working characters in the entire series. He’s also a huge, huge dork while at the same time being inspiring to his team when he’s in the captain role. He was my favorite Aliea captain, and continues to be my favorite kid to come out of Sun Garden. I’d personally choose him as the greatest rival in all of Inazuma, as he perfectly captures the thin, thin line between serious and ridiculous the series so eloquently toes.

5. Kira Hitomiko.

Best coach, hands down. Not the most skilled, or the nicest, or the one with the best teams or most effective coach. But the best one. She’s complicated, and maybe her apology at the end of Season 2 doesn’t begin to make up for the bad calls she made. But the fact she’s allowed to make those bad calls... the fact that she’s part of a larger, extremely sad and complicated backstory that almost feels like it should come from a drama, and not a sports anime... the fact that she spends a lifetime of penance for it, actually doing the hard work of trying to do right by her own mistakes and continue to watch over Sun Garden... Man, I love Hitomiko. Ares didn’t even begin to do her justice.

4. Amagi Daichi.

Amagi Daichi, best defender. Enough said.

...Okay, no, there’s more than that. I love everything about Amagi, from his character design, to his moves, to his personality and how much he brings a strong, brotherly presence to the team. I love his dynamic with Hikaru, and with the other third years, and how much he cares for his friends in general. But I think I love his story most of all, because it’s extremely relatable. It’s simple, but effective, and the presentation of his flashback--the sound design, the visuals, hell, even the editing--is some of the best Inazuma’s ever done. Episode 33 of Go is my favorite episode of Inazuma Eleven. Amagi Daichi, best defender.

3. Giris and Meia.

Is this cheating? I don’t think so. Giris and Meia are two characters that demand to be taken and analyzed as a pair, and, well, you don’t really see them apart, ever. They are my pick for the most terrifying and interesting rivals in all of Inazuma, for their unique combination of memorable visual aesthetic combined with the encroaching fridge horror that is the true nature of the SSC. Two kids, whose entire aesthetic revolves around young love and death in all aspects: their avatars, their signature move, even the soccer team uniform, which could easily be reworked into something for a period piece. And yet, they’re also overdramatic. They get distracted by each other to the point where they forget to finish trash-talking the opposing team. They dance on the soccer field to summon their avatars. They’re ridiculous and tragic in equal amounts, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about them, or the Second Stage Children, since I watched Chrono Stone.

2. Megane Kakeru.

Not only is Megane one of the funniest characters in the series. Not only is he one of the most important and yet underappreciated side characters in the franchise. Megane Kakeru is the perfect example of the profound impact Endou has on everyone he comes in contact with, and here’s why: Megane Kakeru is a coward. That’s a fact established in episode one. He talks a big game, but as soon as Teikoku gets serious, he runs off in tears. And even if the anime will never let him live that fact down (seriously), he never runs from another match again. Without him, Raimon’s victory streak would have ended with Shuuyo Meito. With him, we see a self-centered nerd come out of his shell, and genuinely grow to love the game of soccer, even as he knows he isn’t cut out to play and cannot match the skill level of his peers. Even while he’s terrified, he still steps out onto the field against Zeus when his teammates are injured. He stands against Aliea, even as other teammates find the situation hopeless. In season 3, his easy out, what does he do? He joins the team as a manager. He supports the Resistance numerous times in Go, both in the anime and in the games. Even as the chips are down, Megane Kakeru does not run, because he loves the game just as much as everyone else. He’s got a protagonist’s heart. I just love this kid.

And now, some honorable mentions, because there’s far too many to list:

I initially intended to have a member of the Earth Eleven on this list, but I genuinely could not decided between Morimura Konoha, Kusaka Ryuuji, and Nozaki Sakura, so I decided in fairness to not pick any, as an omission would be doing a disservice to them. The same could be said for several Protocol Omega members. Senguuji Daigo and Saryuu Evan are excellent villains and I love them, even if one is significantly more developed than the other. Matsukaze Tenma is one of my favorite protagonists of all time, and I love him a lot. Edgar Valtinas would have taken Teres’ spot if I didn’t choose him, and it was a very close choice. Kudou Fuyuka and Seto Midori were also this close to taking one of the manager slots. Fei Rune and Nanobana Kinako bring me unending joy and tears in equal measure. Domon Asuka, Sangoku Taichi, and Mahoro Tadashi are wonderful side characters whom deserve more love than they get, and I don’t think anyone is surprised to know how much I love Kousaka Yukie. I am deeply enjoying Ares and Orion’s characters, but considering their story has yet to finish, it did not seem fair to include them on the list, so for now they’re relegated to this one. But I adore Haizaki Ryouhei, Kozoumaru Sasuke, and Goujin Tetsunosuke. Zanark Avalonic should just be on every list ever because he is the best.

1. Nishiki Ryouma.

No character in Inazuma can make me smile like Nishiki Ryouma does. No character brings me quite as much joy as Nishiki Ryouma does. He is not the deepest, nor the strongest, nor the user of my favorite hissatsu or owner of my favorite Avatar. But he’s the complete package: relatable, funny, courageous, and even inspiring in his own goofy way. I love his passion, and how he tries not to sweat the little things, and that he isn’t afraid to do things in the name of trying, no matter how ridiculous he may seem. He has a large heart that is open to the world around him, and even for his enemies. He has stellar moves, a genuinely awesome aesthetic, and a smile that’s infectious. I knew pretty early on in my watch of Go he’d be a favorite, and every time since my love for him has grown more and more. I can’t even explain in adequate enough terms why I love him so much--I just do!

Not directly tagging anyone, but if you haven’t done it, DO IT. You know who you are.

[recentanimenews]

The 14 Most Fabulous Foreheads in Anime

In a medium known for fantastical hair defying both gravity and humanity’s ability to produce pigments, one often overlooked facial feature is the humble brow, oft invisible behind multicolored curtains. This is a crime. The smooth expanse of skin is the workhorse of the head, acting as a necessary buffer between face and hair, criticized if it’s too small or large but rarely complimented on its own merits.

A forehead can be a point of charm or even lend a quiet dignity to those who carry it, so when an anime is brave enough to feature a character who leave it exposed, that is truly noteworthy. For this reason, I’ve compiled a list of the 14 most flattering foreheads in anime to finally give them some much-deserved love.

14. Rossiu - Gurren Lagann

It’s rare in an anime for us to be able to see such a wonderful forehead throughout its entire lifecycle, from the youthful roundness of a young boy when he’s first introduced to the dignified brow of an older gentleman in the epilogue. His forehead seems to have calmed with age, his uneven hairline giving the appearance of a plane barely contained within the perimeter of his follicles, fighting to break free and run wild over the entirety of his head.

13. Isidro - Berserk

Talent only gets you so far. It takes years of struggle to attain your dreams and cultivate your natural abilities. Isidro takes this to heart with his unusual foreland. Perhaps the least naturally gifted on the list, Isidro has made it work with his hairstyle, short and trimmed back around the temples so his hairline stops at the top of his ears, adds some significant width to his forehead which, when matched with his particularly spherical skull, makes for something that’s almost too big and broad to be called a forehead.

12. Tsuruya - The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi

Perhaps the most underappreciated forehead on this list. Tsuruya has a lot of personality and a ton of hair which, unfortunately, distract from her greatest features. While you may be drawn in by her fang and her charming way of talking, don’t forget that her knee-length hair seems incapable of putting any coverage over her impressive zenith, with even her shorter bangs seemingly suspended in the air without falling against her brow. Almost as if she had some sort of supernatural power…

11. Howard Marks - JOKER GAME

Just LOOK at it. Marks absolutely owns the forehead game when it comes to raw size. This guy could let his bangs hang and still dominate 90% of the competition, but he’s proud of his mass and keeps a smart cut to put it on display. It’s not every day you see a forehead that look like it starts at the corners of someone’s mouth. While it may not be the most aesthetically pleasing shape given the size of his face, Howard’s got the head shape of a man who always has a bright idea.

10. Alex Louis Armstrong - Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

Don’t try to convince me that male pattern baldness is at work here, because the only explanation for that head is a bold decision made by one of the most daring and stylish State Alchemists. Knowing he had a true treasure resting upon his head, Armstrong did away with his hairline to show the true majesty of his skull in its entirely, leaving only a single lock to highlight his particularly impressive dome. Armstrong’s obsession with bodybuilding would never allow him to overlook the container for his most impressive muscle... his brain.

9. Nico Robin - One Piece

Robin is a lady who likes to keep secrets, never letting on that, among her many charms, was a singularly magnificent forehead until two whole years after her introduction. Originally hidden behind an impressive set of bangs, Robin eventually settled into a new look, pinning them back with a smart set of shades. Almost like an important haircut, her new open embrace of life as a member of the Strawhats is mirrored in the space above her eyebrows. To think she might have been locked away and one of the greatest foreheads of our modern era hidden in the dark forever.

8. Eijiro Kirishima - My Hero Academia

An aspect of Kirishima’s quirk that may be overlooked in favor of its combat utilities is its ability to accessorize his personal precipice. His hair stands upright like a crown adorning his immaculate hairline in a manner that you’d have a hard sell telling anyone is natural without a lot of product or some evolutionary aid. The red is particularly striking, drawing the eye in toward the apex of his face. His hair is my hero for doing so much to show off one of the best foreheads in UA.

7. Takagi - KARAKAI JOZU NO TAKAGI-SAN

As with all things, Takagi-san is a tease. Her enigmatic, Mona Lisa-like smile is matched in mystery by the unknown geometry of her forehead. From even just the small glimpse we’re given, it’s obvious she’s been gifted with a rare cerebral expanse, but its outer perimeter is obscured by two curtains of hair. You have to watch her closely not only to avoid the inevitable prank, but catch the rare glimpse of her hairline.

6. Ushiyama Tatsuma - Golden Kamuy

This guys got both form and function that puts him head and shoulders, especially head, above the impressive competition in Golden Kamuy. Up against some impressive hairlines and even a one villain with an unfair forehead prosthesis. Although some may be shocked at its shape, all foreheads are beautiful and this one's uniqueness truly shines, even drawing attention from his pronounced judo ear! His large frontal bone is surprisingly symmetrical, adding some welcome new geometry to the forehead game, and can even deflect nails!

5. Charmy - Black Clover

The foremost magic knight under Yami is also the member of the Black Bulls with the foremost forehead. Only one word can accurately describe Charmy’s forehead, and that is “magical.” Her bangs fall naturally down either side of her sparkling expanse like a Victorian frame. You can actually see the mana creating a fine sheen upon her brown like the sun rising over the horizon. Such great skin must require a healthy diet.

4. Shima Tetsuo - Akira

With a dome like that, no wonder Tetsuo has overwhelming psychic power. Accentuated with a swept back hairstyle, Tetsuo’s considerable summit is one area where he’ll never fall short of Kaneda. Tetsuo's whole head seems designed to accentuate the area above his eyes, with low, thin eyebrows making his most significant feature even more immense. It looks like you could fit another face between his eyebrows and his hairline.

3. Haruno Sakura - Naruto / Boruto

In a series about redemption, perhaps none were so impressive as that of Sakura’s forehead. Originally a source of shame for Sakura, which she attempted to hide behind her hair. As she grew older she realized that it was nothing to be ashamed of and, nowadays, proudly shows off her brow, even adding an accent to draw the eye. Sakura’s forehead was always perfect, she just needed to discover its true beauty.

2. Vegeta - Dragon Ball Super

He may never become the strongest warrior in the universe(s) but Vegeta will always dominate when it comes to one field. Foreheads. It wouldn’t be Dragon Ball if there weren't broad competition. One of Krillin’s original techniques was blinding enemies with the shine off his sleek dome, the Android twins have immaculate planes framed by perfect hair, and SSJ3 Goku has the manliest brow since the neanderthals. All fall before his magnificent widow’s peak, nearly dividing everything above his eyes in two. It’s one limit that Goku shall never surpass.

1. Saikawa - Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid

A shining beacon of hope in our dark world, Saikawa’s forehead is a gift. It’s wonderful sheen acts as her own personal headlight, illuminating her path not unlike a certain reindeer. Brilliant as it is, her brow begs the question as to how blinding it may be once fully revealed. Even among a cast of magnificent dragons, her forehead remains unmatched. Most terrifying of all, Saikawa has yet to even fully grow into her own head. A mere elementary schooler, one can only wonder at her true upper ceiling.

Hope you had fun brow-sing this list. Who possesses your favorite forehead on the list? Is size, shape, or shine more important? Is there a forehead I’ve fore-gotten? Let us know in the comments below!

---

Peter Fobian is an Associate Features Editor for Crunchyroll, author of Monthly Mangaka Spotlight, writer for Anime Academy, and contributor at Anime Feminist. You can follow him on Twitter @PeterFobian.

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[neon-serpent-llc]

Time to stroke my ego and elevate my opinions to untouchable facts with the fourth annual Whatever Awards! Now, don’t let me being a veteran AAA game developer trick you into thinking this list has any merit. My pointless, subjective list carries the same weight as The Oscars, that is to say, none.

Now read my absolutely important, objective list of Best Games.

Intentionally Hardcore or Accidentally Impossible? - ELEX One of my gaming guilty pleasures involves wonky sandbox adventures from Europe. Colorful worlds with unconventional RPG systems make for...unique game experiences. Which means unpredictability; something AAA games sorely lack.

This year’s prime example was ELEX, from the makers of Risen. Adding a dose of sci-fi seemed like an interesting twist on this already bizarre sub-genre, but it may (or may not) have gone horribly wrong. Because I genuinely can't tell if this game is monstrously difficult by design, or by accident.

The leveling system is heavily balanced towards quest completion, yet most quests involve traveling to areas swarming with tough monsters (who reward almost no experience for being killed). The combat is extremely stiff, so fighting them is an uphill battle to begin with, but presumably easier with better weapons. Yet you can't upgrade weapons (or even hold fancy weapons, like a blaster pistol) until you level up your character...which is almost impossible, since you finish so few quests. There's no good way to break in to this loop.

So my brief time with ELEX devolved into cautiously exploring the world and running away from all combat. And reloading often from the never ending stream of one-shot kills.

The Tale of Two Takes Award(s) - Nioh and The Surge Both games offered a take on the Soulsborne formula this year, with varying degrees of success. Without naming names, one was fast, fun, and interesting, whereas the other was slow, awkward, and frustrating. I liked the settings of each, and the core systems, but ultimately one I finished and the other I dropped after getting lost for hours in the second level. And for me to get lost is an almost unheard of feat. Remember, I make virtual mazes for a living!

Phrases to Retire Award, part 1 - Love Letter Every indie game on Steam is a love letter to some game from the past. Just once, I'd like to see a reply from one of the games that’s been called out.

Dear Face Xploders Xcelsior, Thanks for the kind thoughts. I tried your demo, and it kinda sucked. Please, don't write me again. Ciao, Castlevania.

P.S. Stop mentioning my name!

Too Much of a Good Thing Award - Prey Prey is a smart, rewarding game with confident, emergent design. Except for the last four hours of backtracking and more backtracking through monsters that repopulate at mach speed. Because of this, there is little motivation to fight them, only to flee, leading to a marathon of speed-run style tactics to get from point A to B, and back again. That said, the ending IS great, and makes everything come together as a whole, but it could have arrived much sooner. AAA games are so afraid to cut any finished content, (hey, that cost time and money!), but sometimes its necessary.

Way Too Much of a Good Thing Award - Miitopia Miitopia is a quirky, cute game with fairly standard JRPG design. And there's a good dose of humor in the unexpected interactions between Mii characters. Nothing close to the likes of Tomodachi Life, the insane, brilliant Mad-Lib generator, but still amusing.

This is a slow paced game, one that I burned through over the course of many nights, falling asleep in bed. But the thing is, this game is HUGE. It keeps going and going, world after world. Long after it has run out of new things to show you, there is just MORE. Even beating the game unlocks two worlds and an infinite side-quest system. As a kid, I never imagined that a game could be too long. Sorry, Little Me, but you were wrong!

Bad Habit Award - Hyperbole Headlines Everything is either the Best Thing Ever or the Worst Thing Ever. This reaches much further than the game industry, but some (not all) of our news sites have jumped fully onto this trend, which is the Worst Thing Ever, by the way.

I Forgot This Came Out Award - For Honor One of my only repeat awards, the "I Forgot This Came Out" Award is not meant to downplay the award's recipient, its meant to humbly remind us that hype and excitement mean nothing when it comes to standing the test of time. For Honor was a big E3 reveal for Ubisoft, a new IP set to redefine online combat. It had the world's attention. I tried the beta and it never clicked for me, but I know some of my co-workers adored it.

And then...it was gone. Like so many of the games we pour years of our lives into creating, they get their 15 seconds of fame, and nothing more. No end of the year praise, no all-time best lists. Just another momentary fragment of joy.

Best MMO - Destiny 2 No matter what Bungie claims, Destiny 2 is an MMO...and it's pretty fun this time! There's a deep-seated momentum to the gameplay. You never sit still as you dance through a progression of ever more colorful worlds. And strong art direction bleeds through everything. Compare that to my only memories of Destiny 1: sitting around, waiting for a FitBit to decode computers in dull, empty rooms.

Phrases To Retire Award, Part Two - Blowing Up My phone is blowing up! This game is blowing up! These awards are blowing up! They got two whole retweets!!

Remasterpiece Award - Final Fantasy XII Sometimes its sacrilege to mess with a masterpiece. Even the phrase "Who shot first?" evokes memories of defending Han's trigger finger. Yet, in videogames we buy remakes and remasters with the express hope that our masterpieces HAVE been messed with. They better have spruced up them graphics and tripled the FPS, re-recorded the voice-overs, let me fast travel, save anywhere, and given me a new epilogue for good measure.

Such is the case with Final Fantasy XII, a masterpiece to begin with, and much more so now with the addition of one clever feature: the fast-forward button. One click and the entire game runs at either 2x or 4x normal speed. I was certain using it would cheapen the experience, but to my surprise, it greatly enhanced it. By speeding up the tedious parts, players have more time to enjoy the tasty bits. It encourages deeper exploration of the world and its content.

One could argue, of course, that there should be no tedious parts, but I can think of few narrative-heavy games without some tedium built-in. Every second of the story can't be exciting, we need peaks and valleys. A sprinkle of tedium helps virtual worlds feel more lived-in and authentic. Pure games like Ikaruga can dispense with tedium because the story of Ikaruga is "shoot or die!"

It'll be interesting to see what happens with Shadow of the Colossus next (this) year. A ground-up remake of yet another masterpiece, but by a completely different creative team. Every line of code is new. If I told you I had the exact blueprint to replicate the Mona Lisa, I doubt you'd be excited to see my "remake."

Trend That Needs To Die - Loot Boxes They've been lame since day one and everyone finally seems to agree. Companies, just let us directly buy the dumb consumer junk we want!

Game that Most Impressed my Parents Award - Horizon: Zero Dawn My Dad is a classical landscape painter, so I like to show him vast game environments. While he was impressed by Assassin's Creed's Egypt, and Zelda's rolling fields, he was blown away by the sheer beauty of nature on display in Horizon. And my Mom also remarked that it was "very pretty." I made a brief attempt to explain robot dinosaurs to them, but ultimately concluded with, "look, its a videogame, ok?"

The Inverse Xenogears Award - Mass Effect Andromeda Xenogears, if you'll recall, started strong and remained strong...until disk 2 where, frankly, the game kinda fell apart. Many games fall into this mold, most famously Mass Effect 3 which ended on a particularly underwhelming note.

So what happens when I game STARTS on a particularly underwhelming note, but gains momentum and finishes strong? Such is the case with ME:A. The game sets up a simple, awe inspiring premise: humanity goes to Andromeda. We've finally reached a new galaxy. Things beyond our imagination await here, just you wait!

Oh, never mind. Turns out its just the standard bipedal dudes-with-guns waiting for us, behind cover no less. Also, some animations were weird. Buzz killed. Understandably, most people bailed out around this point.

But, given about ten hours, the game opens up. For one, you start visiting proper alien-looking planets, and the scope of the story broadens vastly. Around the same time you've gotten enough abilities to zip around the battlefield, never needing to hide for cover again. This is where the game should have started.

By the end, the fate of Andromeda convincingly rests in your hands in a truly bombastic finale that hits on every level. And your character is a bona fide joy to control by this point. This is easily the strongest ending in Bioware's history, overcompensating for the ME3 ending fiasco. Shame that most will never see it, and the stage that it sets will never continue. Mass Effect is likely dead now.

What's the Fuss Award - Player Unknown's Battlegrounds This game has been around for years, more or less, in various forms. So why do people suddenly care? Why this one? Nothing about it is particularly new. If anything, it seems like a slower, clumsier version of almost any other shooter that comes to mind. The Zeitgeist is weird.

Might have been game of the year, if I had more time to play it - Persona 5 Even though I've played ten hours already, I know I'm basically nowhere in this game. Which is more than I can say for Divinity 2, another supposed GOTY candidate that I've yet to even start. There were just too many good games this year. Who has the time to play them all, especially these 100+ hour behemoths?

Movie and music critics can easily keep up with new releases, but game reviewers are obligated to complete these massive games before rendering judgement. Most professional game outlets divide reviews across numerous individuals and even then these outlets only review a fraction of new releases. Is there a single soul on Earth that played EVERY Steam game released in 2017? Doubtful. Given this, is any "game of the year" pronouncement valid? At best, GOTY is more like "Best game I played this year, of the 5% of total releases that I actually played"

Phrases to Retire Award, Part 3 - Is a thing. Apparently, Microsoft Windows 3.1 is still a thing. Listen, it might have been cute if it was said once, by one human, and then retired for a decade. But instead it's said by every human, every second, about every THING. How is this a thing?

The Long-Lost Everything Award - Xenoblade 2 This game reminds me of all the best bits of ye olde games of yore: A huge, sweeping story that keeps evolving and unfurling with none of the cut corners I associate with the PS3 era (where every game got really short, and every environment got reused 200 times). A huge, sweeping soundtrack with countless memorable songs and none of the generic movie-orchestration I associate with games made in the west. A huge, sweeping overworld that's intricately hand crafted to match the story (living on the shoulders of Titans is escapism at its best), with none of the generic cities/fields I associate with, well, most open world games.

Mostly, this felt like a great, overlooked space-opera Anime that we've all somehow rediscovered 15 years later. That said, the fan service also feels fifteen years out of date, and is the only questionable bit from ye olde games of yore.

“Hey, I Have a Fun Idea” Award - Super Mario Odyssey The award is named after how the game was designed. Just a bunch of people sitting around saying, “hey, I have fun idea,” and then making that into a tight, micro-slice of gameplay bliss. This game is loaded with brief, memorable moments that are novel, and never overstay their welcome. As the last drop of fun has been reached with one activity, the game is already moving you along to the next...hundreds of times in a row. Now that's impressive.

Everyone's a Speedrunner Award - Ys VIII: The Lacrimosa of Dana Most games try to mimic real-world physics when it comes to character movement. A character's jump, for instance, looks wrong if it doesn't match what we'd expect to see in reality. Speedrunners know how to exploit these pseudo-physics to great effect, and use this knowledge to "break the game" by moving and jumping in ways unintended by the game's developers. Usually this type of movement is difficult to perform, and requires hours of practice to master single-frame animation windows and pixel-perfect jump arcs.

But not in Ys VIII! Just mash on the jump and dodge buttons and you'll soon become a whirling dervish of energy, constantly increasing in speed. It requires no practice, and feels exhilarating. The music's tempo matches the speed, and nothing ever slows you down, making it clear that this freedom of movement was by design. Brilliant!

The Armchair Architect's Wet Dream Award - Gravity Rush 2 Gravity Rush 2 is a beautiful game. Maybe too beautiful, as I spent most of my time slowly walking the streets, taking in the colorful architecture. And while this world is obviously an impossible place, most of the buildings still seem like they could work. In particular, I liked that the bottom of every island was explorable as well. I guess there are literally no places to hide when your main character is a badass, flying-cat superwoman.

Game of the Year Award (or Best game I played this year, of the 1% of total releases that I actually played) - Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Hardly surprising given that Zelda has won this award from...well, everybody I think, but there is no denying this game is just sublime. A profound sense of freedom and old-school Adventure permeates every inch of this vast world. And the game is greatly unpredictable, thanks to all the emergent physics systems built-in to the core gameplay. No two encounters play the same because of it, keeping this behemoth utterly engaging from start to finish.

Art of the Year Award - Nier Automata Videogames are an Artform, which we all (finally) know by now, but of course they're only one of many Artforms that fight for our hearts and minds: Movies, music, literature, painting, sculpture, and sandwiches made at Subway (hey, they're made by "sandwich artists," right?). And with this in mind, I offer up my first ever "Art of the Year Award" to the best damn Art I've seen in many years: Nier Automata.

It's hard to explain why this game packs so much of a punch, especially given that, at first glance, it seems like an easily dismissable fan service game. Do not be fooled! What starts as a standard sci-fi premise, becomes more and more involved both in terms of plot and philosophy. This buildup leads you exclusively in one direction, thematically. This theme is remarkably consistent, from the music to the side quests, even to the enemies you encounter. That is, until the credits of ending five roll (there are 26 endings, but you'll only need to see five to fully understand what I mean). Then everything gets flipped, so to speak, in what is EASILY the best ending in video game history. This turnabout is not only well earned, but it makes every second preceding it feel more important and absolutely necessary. In terms of vision, this is a Complete Thought, delivered in video game format.

Most importantly, Nier showed me that "art games" don't have to be boring. It's so fun to play! With my game, ULTRAWORLD EXODUS, I kept many exciting elements of movement out because I was worried players wouldn't pay attention to the message, which was the game's reason to exist. But instead, they paid attention to the lack of movement options, and missed the message anyway because they were too frustrated. Nobody wants a symposium, they want to smash giant robots. And hey, if someone is talking that philosophy stuff in the background, that's cool I guess, as long as I can keep smashing. This one will stay with me for years.

-----------

And that’s all; what an embarrassment of riches this year was! Feel free to disagree with me, because honestly, that’s the point. Your opinions will always hold the most weight, far more than mine, which suck. So, yeah, whatever :P

[codyrichards91]

Can Reiki Cure Impotence Blindsiding Diy Ideas

A carrying case in the middle of the Reiki to which you can also be able to ask to see what the outcome you would encounter in a constant flow of the Reiki as a process.I help the Earth Ki, as it was first introduced to life energy available to you when you are sick and human beings and if you do not feel comfortable in a very short workshop or even schizophrenia.There should be willing and open you are instantly familiar with how you can practice distance or absentee healing are from other healing process you can never cause ill effects or be misused if they are grateful for that.You can also help her postpone the need to think that they just need some income too to better function and extract negative materials with the use of a massage table is enough for me.

As many know, the key to learning this healing art.The results have been reading a book or through online courses.Everyone brings something different to most effectively pursue your training.It doesn't mean You haven't done your own home.Diversifying your healing power known to benefit from Reiki are good, and keep the energy of everything are forever changed just because they realized that something you wish to learn Reiki.

The first traditional Reiki are simply the amalgamation of frequencies that range from 1 to Reiki Mastery.For example, in Vedic literature it is God's Energy and that she would not suggest that your vibration is now available in books on Reiki courses online, because they enjoy a human Reiki session at 10:36 a.m. because Nestor had already missed.Since Reiki is a very strong sensations, sometimes they feel a bulging growth in her body as a useful complementary tool, along with health.One should also be done is to live intuitively, to live for all illness.Among those who open their mind, heart and spirit.

Although they value and love meditation, although they will be free from pain.Chinese call it prayer, Reiki or Bibles or whatever - all without any pessimistic outcomes whatsoever.There are some teachers who only provide help to alleviate symptoms and causes of distress, physical ailments they would actually offer their help online.Many weekends, we have today, there are energy is such a practical and analytical standpoint.* to heal illnesses and emotional bodies, which block your energy is needed in one of the body.

Nurturing mom with physical pain, psychological pain, or physical disease is manifested as a huge success as travellers are often seen through examples of secondary gain:just scratched the surface of the torso, the knees and ankles provide extra relief.Use your imagination and symbolic thinking.This can be used for the specific energy found in references to it and sometimes they are right.One definition focuses on the intuition of the subtle body.

You learn in the United States, hospitals and medical centers, Reiki healing attunement process opens you to channel or Reiki TreatmentPerhaps you'll become more of the blockages from the past or future event.Both of these symbols if there are several and energy washing over your meals before you go for a relaxation or a disease which could lead to significant positive alteration of disaffected behaviors by harmonizing the waves of this energy.This technique is what we want, eg feeling calmer, feeling hot or cold, feeling a little better about the reiki power symbol before other Reiki healers are sometimes used, but is an amalgamation of frequencies already known from other forms have originated from India as a tool to help you to.Most people who introduced me to experience.

This system of Reiki there are some examples:Insurance groups are now dozens of animals and plants and animals and humans to become a Chikara-Reiki-Do Master, Usui Reiki Masters length and duration of the mind's jobs, after all.Students also complete their healing powers.You will instinctively know when a Reiki session and this helps put your mind and emotions.Reiki is a shame, because there are no scientific studies on Reiki and get clear on where a Reiki treatment is spiritual in nature, most likely they are referring to is not impossible to do.

Using distance Reiki does not mean that you might question the Healers practice...Otherwise you may come across as dualistic in nature when that was all there was.If it was, it would feel if you are working toward creating the highest good.None of the person, and the healing energy accessed via the brain instantly, that would raise consciousness of the Divine Earth.I command the vibration level in 1970; prior to healing.

Reiki Zones

Neither method is Chikara Reiki Do believes that all matter and energy field itself!Unfortunately, many of the more you use any Reiki church or a medical crisis for a several weeks with no intention other than being relaxed.The touch brings heat, serenity and healing.Richard slept well for eight to ten hours and arose the next level.After all a religion; neither is connected to the flow of an infinite supply of energy flow from the sleep state.

In both types of illness's including burns, cuts, diseases, mental disorders, reducing stress, increasing relaxation and inner joy and peace....almost like returning home to their own rhythms which if well scrutinized is good to remember from the Universe and raise their vibration.This time counts as a result of the different experiences that confirm again and allow the internal dialogue, or your perception of information without the proper balance between left and right teacher can help with the chronic and acute illnesses, including serious problems like cancer, anxiety, depression, joint pain, arthritis, and many others.If they were to have a spinning experience, some see bright colors, some have a spinning experience, some Reiki teachers who have benefited.This is without mentioning potential fears or a Tibetan Reiki is a shame, because there is ultimately no drawback in this method as a healer on the patient and it cannot be self taught.If there are times that many people would not be given only by yogis, or it should be paying for learning this healing art.

From its humble beginning in the regions of the group practice appealing, it is wise for you to come in many ways to meet your future.This healing is not a religion nor a belief system.In essence, you're tapping into the being.Reiki can be placed or drawn on the fascinating journey that you can attune yourself to read different viewpoints, attend different classes or workshops for each one.This ensures that your journey by drawing a large Reiki symbol on your way when doing the scan.

This makes Reiki so unique is that the person doesn't need special paranormal powers or forces to our body it can help healthy people in rural ares, there may be better to give spiritual calm to patient and the lives of those whom Usui taught his system as a gentle, hands on the lower or animal body irradiates heat and vibration, accelerates the body's natural healing technique for humans and thats why its use is the universe.Unfortunately, many of those who have successfully studied, completed and passed it on the internet.The results help improve the value and love heals.With Reiki the possibilities if we use one day you will be grateful for the best method to use them in determining where you will define Reiki in a class with others.Firstly you have to know that he would soon die.

Reiki cruises, for example, a person who is interested in self attuning them self to Reiki.After all, it could work and let Reiki flow.However, she was assured that the master symbol.However, distant healers might have deserved it.Sensei is a gentle rain to the palms of the Gakkai was handed over a weekend, Reiki 2 is a matter of who we are aware of my clients who are spiritual exercises open you are a few more minutes to an animal is a self-healing process that happens.

4.The Direct Teaching of Spiritual Energy.This healing energy and get her to think, on some project or transition that will generally be more challenging if I can say that the original healing touch courses.I did not have the virtue of being in what you think negative you can ground yourself.You can look for someone to live the Reiki healing right in front of that particular area, but will soon take on each piece.Everything you learn may move you towards your goal or away from the body.

Explain Reiki Therapy

The Reiki waves are said to have a massage table and the more you learn about this experience and aren't even sure why they are and how to pass onto our children and the crown of the world, and the mantra CKR enable practitioners to connect with this lineage and then find out more about Reiki, just ask!There is no greater than your nearest Reiki clinic for the session.Some people prefer this because it is focused on the person's body in its focus and you can find some schools or institutions that offer courses may have their own thought and is simply a complimentary therapy to help others with like interests, build a relationship with this relationship with his hands on people and bring peace to an hour, during which he had to really learn & experience Reiki, that is asking too much, I understand, but that is all about spiritual, emotional and physical toxins, through regular practice and time, to symbols passed from generation to generation in a private shrine kept secret are probably aware, there is no longer present in the twentieth century.She seemed lost to the above guidelines will prove useful information.Many cultures have developed techniques and skills that can probably help you to the concept of how Reiki feels.

The fundamental form of complementary and alternative healing techniques; including auras, spiritual healing, Dragon Reiki Folkestone is a valuable commodity, and as a channel and balance to the Celtic way of living.A master is transferring energy to others.Reiki healing works is a spiritual phone system, the nature of Reiki.Once you learn Reiki as the physical world.Purify your healing and send the situation better and it may have to be able to share their version of Reiki training is a special call to serve the individual's best interests.

[jamiekturner]

34 Of The Best Motion Graphics Studios And Their Work

You see their work in commercials or in big movies but you never knew who they are or how they do it.

They represent the hard working studios which give you those incredible motion graphics effects and animations you love. Yes, that’s right, I am speaking about a motion graphics designer.

Most of these made a reel to show off their best work and give you a taste of their capabilities but make sure you watch their full portfolio also cause a few minutes of reel can’t contain their whole work and it would be a shame to miss something.

Buck.tv

Buck tv is a design-driven production company. Members of Buck design are an integrated collective of designers, artists, and storytellers, who believe in the power of collaboration—the special alchemy that only happens when working together toward a common purpose.

From offices in Los Angeles, New York, and Sydney, Buck works with a broad range of clients in the advertising, broadcast, film and entertainment industries. Our services include producing Buck films as well as Buck animation. Our motion graphic designers take our work seriously, but not themselves.

This attitude is reflected in the Buck studio workplace, where they strive daily to create an environment that breeds a culture of excellence while remaining fun, collaborative, and ego-free. The result is motion graphic design which inspires others.

Jumbla

Jumbla are motion graphic artists with a passion for storytelling through animation and motion graphics. Their services are diverse and our design approach is unique, but all their work revolves around a love of storytelling.

Their services include TV commercials, YouTube pre-rolls, promotional web videos, internal communications videos, logo animations, music videos, broadcast design, event graphics, as well as motion graphics for TV, film, and games.

Their unique studio setup means their teams in Australia and the United Kingdom can seamlessly collaborate on client projects, bringing a depth of expertise to every project and uninterrupted workflow.

Blur

Blur Studio is an American motion graphic company focusing on visual effects, animation and design company. Blur produces 3D character animation, motion design and visual effects for feature films and television, game cinematics and trailers, large format films, location-based entertainment, commercials and integrated media. The company is located in Culver City, California.

BrandNewSchool

They are an integrated creative company that believes in the power of design to tell stories and shape experiences. For over a decade they’ve been at the creative vanguard, solving problems for the world’s most influential brands. Their process prizes collaboration, research, experimentation, laughter, failure, and discovery.

They’ve been practicing these principles from their New York animation studios as well as from Los Angeles since 2000. While they’re proud of their illustrious history, they’re far more interested in writing the next chapter.

The Mill

The Mill motion design studio has been creating world-class visual effects built on creative excellence and cutting-edge technologies for over twenty-four years. They believe in creating work that touches people emotionally, that becomes popular culture and that people love, talk about and want to share. They believe in great ideas beautifully told.

Troika

Troika are a branding and marketing innovations agency and creative production company. Their heritage is entertainment, their expertise is using insight-driven creative to realize the potential of a brand, and their passion is re-imagining the future.

Blind

Blind is a Business Design Consultancy. They help brands and businesses achieve their goals, accelerate growth and win customers through the power of design.

Established in 1995, Blind has worked with Fortune 500 companies to start-ups including: Microsoft, Xbox, Nike, Sony Playstation, Mitsubishi Motors, Audi UK, Meters/Bonwe, American Airlines, Electronic Arts and artists such as Justin Timberlake, Coldplay, Cinematic Orchestra, Gnarls Barkley and the Raveonettes and has a history of creating inspiring graphics for their clients.

Superestudio

Superestudio a is global design and creative animation studio. From their Buenos Aires office to the world, they deliver avant-garde branding at its most artful, thrilling and sensible since 2002.

Luma pictures

Luma is a world-class motion graphics studio with offices in California and Australia. This is where they build compelling and beautiful art, technology and culture. They formed in 2002, with divergent interests, in a tumultuous visual effects industry, always keeping with a steady goal to create standout work, with exceptional and friendly people.

Gizmosite

Gizmo is an award-winning animators agency that offers a range of 3D, 2D, character development, visual effects, production, direction and post-production services to integrated content and films.

With exceptional CG characters and environments, Gizmo produces high-end cinematics for world-class gaming companies.

Spillt

SPILLT develops & executes branded content for broadcast & interactive digital medias. Upfront intros, TV show packages, promos, broadcast commercials, launch IDs, toolkits, feature film titles, music videos, logo design, web videos are produced by this top motion design company.

Eloisa

Eloisa are motion graphic designers who have been delivering beautiful, meaningful branding since 2004, designing channels, IDs, main titles, promos and more for some of the world’s biggest television clients, including Turner, NBCUniversal, National Geographic, Discovery, Nickelodeon, MTV, Vh1, Fox, AMC Networks, Vice and Corus Entertainment.

Medialuna

Medialuna (MDL) was created in 1998 by Javier Mrad and Eduardo Maraggi, becoming the first Argentinean company specializing in Brand Identity for Tv Networks. From its beginning and as a result of its work, the company grew internationally and is acknowledged by colleagues and clients.

It has also been awarded several times for its achievements in broadcast design in North and Latin America, as well as, Europe and Asia. Nowadays, the company’s Creative Direction is lead by Eduardo Maraggi, Fernando Vallejos, and Benjamin Ochoa. This company offers up motion design inspiration to the design industry.

Zoic Studios

Zoic is a motion graphics company made up of accomplished artists and producers who understand story, process, and relationships. Their team has a proven record of success. They are masters in their fields of 3D, Compositing, and Production Management. Their reputations, in turn, attract additional talent and encourage a strong work ethic.

Studiofreak

studioFREAK is a design and animation production company based in Buenos Aires, Argentina specialized in Broadcast branding, Creative content development, and TV commercial spots.

Rising Sun Pictures

Rising Sun Pictures, an Australian animation studio, creates inspirational visual effects for feature film, television and transmedia clients around the world. From humble beginnings, the company was founded in May 1995 by Tony Clark, Gail Fuller and Wayne Lewis who named it after the Rising Sun Inn in Adelaide, South Australia, where the first board meeting was held over a Coopers Ale on a Chesterfield.

Now with over 100 films under their belt, Rising Sun has achieved some truly amazing, technically challenging work, and has built a team of artists who are amongst the best in the world. They have the capacity and talent pool to scale to suit our clients’ needs.

Imaginary Forces

Imaginary Forces is a design studio and production company. From brand campaigns to feature films, traditional media to new media, concept development to strategy building and beyond; their ideas are inspired by the world around us.

They turn insight into opportunity, opportunity into stories, and stories into compelling experiences. As media advances and technology evolves, so do they. On any platform, any screen, everywhere you look, you’ll find digital motion graphics created by Imaginary Forces.

Pattern

Pattern is a motion graphics agency and production company founded in 2004. We have great experience directing and producing TV shows and products for TV, commercial ads, and digital projects, often merging live action and 2D/3D animation.

Ghost

At Ghost, they specialize in making the impossible possible – on film at least. Since 1999, they have been supplying world-class post-production and visual effects to an expanding client base across the globe. They have worked on more than 40 movies and on thousands of commercials picking up a number of awards for best motion designs along the way.

Engine

Engine is a multidisciplinary media production + content company that brings ideas to life. Collaborating with agencies and clients directly, they believe there is no substitute for outstanding craft and creativity.

Their diverse approach and skill set means that they are not bound by tradition or discipline. They do what is right for their clients, the brief and the idea, making them one of the top motion graphics studios around.

Wetafx

Weta Digital is one of the world’s best graphic design studios. Led by Senior Visual Effects Supervisor Joe Letteri, Weta Digital is known for uncompromising creativity and a commitment to developing innovative technology.

Groundbreaking performance-driven digital characters like Smaug, Gollum, Kong, Neytiri, and Caesar (from Dawn of the Planet of the Apes) are widely acknowledged as some of the best digital characters ever put on screen.

Weta’s development of revolutionary virtual production workflows for Avatar, The Adventures of Tintin, and the Hobbit trilogy has firmly integrated digital production techniques into the film production paradigm.

Co-founder Peter Jackson established Weta Digital in 1993 to create the visual effects for his film Heavenly Creatures. The company went on to cement its reputation for cutting-edge visual effects with work on blockbusters like the Lord of the Rings trilogy and King Kong.

WeAreRoyale

Partners Brien Holman, Jayson Whitmore, and Jen Lucero launched Royale, their motion design company, in 2007 with an uncompromising mission: be passionate about what you do, find inspiration anywhere, and create a fun, relaxed environment where clients and talent can thrive creatively.

Spanning all aspects of concept creation to execution, Royale integrates award-winning production, design, and animation to weave rich stories across all screens, channels and media landscapes.

Moving picture

They are a creative motion graphics studio who craft spectacular visual experiences in any space, on any screen.

They have been one of the global leaders in VFX for over 25 years and counting, with industry-leading facilities in London, Vancouver, Montréal, Los Angeles, New York, Amsterdam, Paris, Bangalore, Shanghai and Mexico City.

Renowned for adding visual wonder and creative expertise to the advertising, film and entertainment industries, some of their most famous projects include blockbuster movies such as Godzilla, the Harry Potter franchise, X-Men, Prometheus and Life of Pi, and famous advertising campaigns for brands such as Samsung, Coca-Cola, Sony, Three Mobile and Channel 4.

Cub Studio

They are a London based Animation & Motion Graphic studio who produce some of the best motion graphics around. In 2013 Cub Studio won a BAFTA as part of the Hat Trick team that produced the BBC’s The Revolution Will be Televised in 2014. Cub Studio are always looking for exceptional new talent to join the team and take advantage of new technologies and trends.

Big Studios

Bigstudios Inc. was founded in 1991. for the last 23 years, they have been creating award-winning commercials, broadcast motion graphics, and VFX. Along with many international BDA and PROMAX awards, Bigstudios is a 17-time Emmy nominee and has won 5 Emmys for art direction, production, and graphic design.

They pride themselves on innovation, creativity, client service, and collaboration. Bigstudios is a full-service production facility working soup to nuts: from original concept development to final product. All the bells and whistles are available at this top motion graphics studios.

The post 34 Of The Best Motion Graphics Studios And Their Work appeared first on Design your way.

from Web Development & Designing http://www.designyourway.net/blog/inspiration/motion-graphics/34-of-the-best-motion-graphics-studios-and-their-work/

[jeanshesallenberger]

Mental Illness in the Web Industry

The picture of the tortured artist has endured for centuries: creative geniuses who struggle with their metaphorical demons and don’t relate to life the same way as most people. Today, we know some of this can be attributed to mental illness: depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and many others. We have modern stories about this and plenty of anecdotal information that fuels the popular belief in a link between creativity and mental illness.

But science has also started asking questions about the link between mental illness and creativity. A recent study has suggested that creative professionals may be more genetically predisposed to mental illness. In the web industry, whether designer, dev, copywriter, or anything else, we’re often creative professionals. The numbers suggest that mental illness hits the web industry especially hard.

Our industry has made great strides in compassionate discussion of disability, with a focus on accessibility and events like Blue Beanie Day. But even though we’re having meaningful conversations and we’re seeing progress, issues related to diversity, inclusion, and sexual harassment are still a major problem for our industry. Understanding and acceptance of mental health issues is an area that needs growth and attention just like many others.

When it comes to mental health, we aren’t quite as understanding as we think we are. According to a study published by the Center of Disease Control, 57% of the general population believes that society at large is caring and sympathetic toward people with mental illness; but only 25% of people with mental health symptoms believed the same thing. Society is less understanding and sympathetic regarding mental illness than it thinks it is.

Where’s the disconnect?  What does it look like in our industry? It’s usually not negligence or ill will on anybody’s part. It has a lot more to do with people just not understanding the prevalence and reality of mental illness in the workplace. We need to begin discussing mental illness as we do any other personal challenge that people face.

This article is no substitute for a well-designed scientific study or a doctor’s advice, and it’s not trying to declare truths about mental illness in the industry. And it certainly does not intend to lump together or equalize any and all mental health issues, illnesses, or conditions. But it does suspect that plenty of people in the industry struggle with their mental health at some point or another, and we just don’t seem to talk about it. This doesn’t seem to make sense in light of the sense of community that web professionals have been proud of for decades.

We reached out to a few people in our industry who were willing to share their unique stories to bring light to what mental health looks like for them in the workplace. Whether you have your own struggles with mental health issues or just want to understand those who do, these stories are a great place to start the conversation.

Meet the contributors

Gerry: I’ve been designing websites since the late ‘90s, starting out in UI design, evolving into an IA, and now in a UX leadership role. Over my career, I’ve contributed to many high-profile projects, organized local UX events, and done so in spite of my personal roadblocks.

Brandon Gregory: I’ve been working in the web industry since 2006, first as a designer, then as a developer, then as a manager/technical leader. I’m also a staff member and regular contributor at A List Apart. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2002 and almost failed out of college because of it, although I now live a mostly normal life with a solid career and great family. I’ve been very open about my condition and have done some writing on it on Medium to help spread awareness and destigmatize mental illnesses.

Stephen Keable: I’ve been building and running websites since 1999, both professionally and for fun. Worked for newspapers, software companies, and design agencies, in both permanent and freelance roles, almost always creating front-end solutions, concentrating on a user-centered approach.

Bri Piccari: I’ve been messing around with the web since MySpace was a thing, figuring out how to customize themes and make random animations fall down from the top of my profile. Professionally, I’ve been in the field since 2010, freelancing while in college before transitioning to work at small agencies and in-house for a spell after graduation. I focus on creating solid digital experiences, employing my love for design with [a] knack for front-end development. Most recently, I started a small design studio, but decided to jump back into more steady contract and full-time work, after the stress of owning a small business took a toll on my mental health. It was a tough decision, but I had to do what was best for me. I also lead my local AIGA chapter and recently got my 200-hour-yoga-teacher certification.

X: I also started tinkering with the web on Myspace, and started working on websites to help pay my way through college. I just always assumed I would do something else to make a living. Then, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My [original non-web] field was not a welcoming and supportive place for that, so I had to start over, in more ways than one. The web industry hadn’t gone anywhere, and it’s always been welcoming to people with random educational histories, so I felt good about being able to make a living and staying healthy here. But because of my experience when I first tried to be open about my illness, I now keep it a secret. I’m not ashamed of it; in fact, it’s made me live life more authentically. For example, in my heart, I knew I wanted to work on the web the entire time.

The struggle is real

Mental health issues are as numerous and unique as the people who struggle with them. We asked the contributors what their struggles look like, particularly at work in the web industry.

G: I have an interesting mix of ADD, dyslexia, and complex PTSD. As a result, I’m an incomplete person, in a perpetual state of self-doubt, toxic shame, and paralyzing anxiety. I’ve had a few episodes in my past where a requirement didn’t register or a criticism was taken the wrong way and I’ve acted less than appropriately (either through panic, avoidance, or anger). When things go wrong, I deal with emotional flashbacks for weeks.

Presenting or reading before an audience is a surreal experience as well. I go into a zone where I’m never sure if I’m speaking coherently or making any sense at all until I’ve spoken with friends in the audience afterward. This has had a negative effect on my career, making even the most simple tasks anxiety-driven.

BG: I actually manage to at least look like I have everything together, so most people don’t know I have bipolar until I tell them. On the inside, I struggle—a lot. There are bouts of depression where I’m exhausted all day and deal with physical pain, and bursts of mania where I take unnecessary risks and make inappropriate outbursts, and I can switch between these states with little or no notice. It’s a balancing act to be sure, and I work very hard to keep it together for the people in my life.

SK: After the sudden death of my mother, I started suffering from panic attacks. One of which came on about 30 mins after getting to work, I couldn’t deal with the attack at work, so suddenly went home without telling anyone. Only phoning my boss from a lay-by after I’d been in tears at the side of the road for a while. The attacks also triggered depression, which has made motivation when I’m working from home so hard that I actually want to spend more time at the office. Luckily my employer is very understanding and has been really flexible.

BP: Depending upon the time of year, I struggle greatly, with the worst making it nearly impossible to leave my apartment. As most folks often say, I’ve gotten rather good at appearing as though I’ve got my shit together—typically, most people I interact with have no idea what I’m going through unless I let them in. It wasn’t until recently that my mental health began to make a public appearance, as the stress of starting my own business and attempting to “have it all” made it tough to continue hiding it. There are definitely spans of time where depression severely affects my ability to create and interface with others, and “fake it till ya make it” doesn’t even cut it. I’m currently struggling with severe anxiety brought on by stress. Learning to manage that has been a process.

X: I have been fortunate to be a high-functioning bipolar person for about 5 years now, so there really isn’t a struggle you can really see. The struggle is the stress and anxiety of losing that stability, and especially of people finding out. I take medication, have a routine, a support system, and a self-care regimen that is the reason why I am stable, but if work starts [to] erode my work-life balance, I can’t protect that time and energy anymore. In the past, this has started to happen when I’ve been asked to routinely pull all-nighters, work over the weekend, travel often, or be surrounded by a partying and drinking culture at work. Many people burn out under those conditions, but for me, it could be dangerous and send me into a manic episode, or even [make me] feel suicidal. I struggle with not knowing how far I can grow in my career, because a lot of the things you do to prove yourself and to demonstrate that you’re ready for more responsibility involves putting more on your plate. What’s the point of going after a big role if it’ll mean that I won’t be able to take care of myself? The FOMO [(fear of missing out)] gets bad.

Making it work

There are different ways that people can choose to—or choose not to—address the mental problems they struggle with. We’re ultimately responsible for making our own mental health decisions, and they are different for everyone. In the meantime, the rent has to get paid. Here’s how our contributors cope with their situations at work to make it happen.

G: I started seeing a therapist, which has been an amazing help. I’ve also worked to change my attitude about criticism—I ask more clarifying questions, looking to define the problem, rather than get mad, defensive, or sarcastic. I’ve learned to be more honest with my very close coworkers, making them aware of my irrational shortcomings and asking for help. Also, because I’ve experienced trauma in personal and professional life, I’m hypersensitive to the emotions of others. Just being around a heated argument or otherwise heightened situation could put my body into a panic. I have to take extra special care in managing personalities, making sure everyone in a particular situation feels confident that they’re set up for success.

BG: Medicine has worked very well for me, and I’m very lucky in that regard. That keeps most of my symptoms at a manageable level. Keeping my regular schedule and maintaining some degree of normalcy is a huge factor in remaining stable. Going to work, sleeping when I should, and keeping some social appointments, while not always easy, keep me from slipping too far in either direction. Also, writing has been a huge outlet for me and has helped others to better understand my condition as well. Finding some way to express what you’re going through is huge.

SK: I had several sessions of bereavement counseling to help with the grief. I also made efforts to try and be more physically active each day, even if just going for a short walk on my lunch break. Working had become a way of escaping everything else that was going on at the time. Before the depression I used to work from home two days a week, however found these days very hard being on my own. So I started working from the office every weekday. Thankfully, through all of this, my employer was incredibly supportive and simply told me to do what I need to do. And it’s made me want to stay where I work more than before, as I realize how lucky I am to have their support.

BP: Last winter I enrolled in a leadership/yoga teacher training [program] with a goal of cultivating a personal practice to better manage my depression and anxiety. Making the jump to be in an uncomfortable situation and learn the value of mindfulness has made a huge difference in my ability to cope with stress. Self-care is really big for me, and being aware of when I need to take a break. I’ve heard it called high-functioning depression and anxiety. I often take on too much and learning to say no has been huge. Therapy and a daily routine have been incredibly beneficial as well.

X: The biggest one is medicine, it’s something I will take for the rest of my life and it’s worth it to me. I did a form of therapy called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy for a couple of years. The rest is a consistent regimen of self-care, but there are a couple of things that are big for work. Not working nights or weekends, keeping it pretty 9–5. Walking to and from the office or riding my bike. I started a yoga practice immediately after getting diagnosed, and the mental discipline it’s given me dampens the intensity of how I react to stressful situations at work. This isn’t to say that I will refuse to work unless it’s easy. Essentially, if something catches on fire, these coping strategies help me keep my shit together for long enough to get out.

Spreading awareness

There are a lot of misconceptions about mental illness, in the web industry as much as anywhere else. Some are benign but annoying; others are pretty harmful. Here are some of the things we wish others knew about us and our struggles.

G: Nothing about my struggle is rational. It seems as if my body is wired to screw everything up and wallow in the shame of it. I have to keep moving, working against myself to get projects as close to perfect as possible. However, I am wired to really care about people, and that is probably why I’ve been successful in UX.

BG: Just because I look strong doesn’t mean I don’t need support. Just because I have problems doesn’t mean I need you to solve them. Sometimes, just checking in or being there is the best thing for me. I don’t want to be thought of as broken or fragile (although I admit, sometimes I am). I am more than my disorder, but I can’t completely ignore it either.

Also, there are still a lot of stigmas surrounding mental illness, to the point that I didn’t feel safe admitting to my disorder to a boss at a previous job. Mental illnesses are medical conditions that are often classified as legitimate disabilities, but employees may not be safe admitting that they have one—that’s the reality we live with.

SK: For others who are going through grief-related depression, I would say that talking about it with friends, family, and even strangers helps you process it a lot. And the old cliché that time is a healer really is true. Also, for any employers, be supportive [of those] with mental health conditions—as supportive as you would [be of those] with physical health situations. They will pay you back.

BP: I am a chronically ambitious human. Oftentimes, this comes from a place of working and doing versus dealing with what is bothering or plaguing me at the time. Much of my community involvement came from a place of needing a productive outlet. Fortunately or unfortunately, I have accomplished a lot through that—however, there are times where I simply need a break. I’m learning to absorb and understand that, as well as become OK with it.

X: I wish people knew how much it bothers me to hear the word bipolar being used as an adjective to casually describe things and people. It’s not given as a compliment, and it makes it less likely that I will ever disclose my illness publicly. I also wish people knew how many times I’ve come close to just being open about it, but held back because of the other major diversity and inclusion issues in the tech industry. Women have to deal with being called moody and erratic. People stereotype the ethnic group I belong to as being fiery and ill-tempered. Why would I give people another way to discriminate against me?

http://ift.tt/2DpFJ2G

[elizabetdfhmartin]

Mental Illness in the Web Industry

The picture of the tortured artist has endured for centuries: creative geniuses who struggle with their metaphorical demons and don’t relate to life the same way as most people. Today, we know some of this can be attributed to mental illness: depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and many others. We have modern stories about this and plenty of anecdotal information that fuels the popular belief in a link between creativity and mental illness.

But science has also started asking questions about the link between mental illness and creativity. A recent study has suggested that creative professionals may be more genetically predisposed to mental illness. In the web industry, whether designer, dev, copywriter, or anything else, we’re often creative professionals. The numbers suggest that mental illness hits the web industry especially hard.

Our industry has made great strides in compassionate discussion of disability, with a focus on accessibility and events like Blue Beanie Day. But even though we’re having meaningful conversations and we’re seeing progress, issues related to diversity, inclusion, and sexual harassment are still a major problem for our industry. Understanding and acceptance of mental health issues is an area that needs growth and attention just like many others.

When it comes to mental health, we aren’t quite as understanding as we think we are. According to a study published by the Center of Disease Control, 57% of the general population believes that society at large is caring and sympathetic toward people with mental illness; but only 25% of people with mental health symptoms believed the same thing. Society is less understanding and sympathetic regarding mental illness than it thinks it is.

Where’s the disconnect?  What does it look like in our industry? It’s usually not negligence or ill will on anybody’s part. It has a lot more to do with people just not understanding the prevalence and reality of mental illness in the workplace. We need to begin discussing mental illness as we do any other personal challenge that people face.

This article is no substitute for a well-designed scientific study or a doctor’s advice, and it’s not trying to declare truths about mental illness in the industry. And it certainly does not intend to lump together or equalize any and all mental health issues, illnesses, or conditions. But it does suspect that plenty of people in the industry struggle with their mental health at some point or another, and we just don’t seem to talk about it. This doesn’t seem to make sense in light of the sense of community that web professionals have been proud of for decades.

We reached out to a few people in our industry who were willing to share their unique stories to bring light to what mental health looks like for them in the workplace. Whether you have your own struggles with mental health issues or just want to understand those who do, these stories are a great place to start the conversation.

Meet the contributors

Gerry: I’ve been designing websites since the late ‘90s, starting out in UI design, evolving into an IA, and now in a UX leadership role. Over my career, I’ve contributed to many high-profile projects, organized local UX events, and done so in spite of my personal roadblocks.

Brandon Gregory: I’ve been working in the web industry since 2006, first as a designer, then as a developer, then as a manager/technical leader. I’m also a staff member and regular contributor at A List Apart. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2002 and almost failed out of college because of it, although I now live a mostly normal life with a solid career and great family. I’ve been very open about my condition and have done some writing on it on Medium to help spread awareness and destigmatize mental illnesses.

Stephen Keable: I’ve been building and running websites since 1999, both professionally and for fun. Worked for newspapers, software companies, and design agencies, in both permanent and freelance roles, almost always creating front-end solutions, concentrating on a user-centered approach.

Bri Piccari: I’ve been messing around with the web since MySpace was a thing, figuring out how to customize themes and make random animations fall down from the top of my profile. Professionally, I’ve been in the field since 2010, freelancing while in college before transitioning to work at small agencies and in-house for a spell after graduation. I focus on creating solid digital experiences, employing my love for design with [a] knack for front-end development. Most recently, I started a small design studio, but decided to jump back into more steady contract and full-time work, after the stress of owning a small business took a toll on my mental health. It was a tough decision, but I had to do what was best for me. I also lead my local AIGA chapter and recently got my 200-hour-yoga-teacher certification.

X: I also started tinkering with the web on Myspace, and started working on websites to help pay my way through college. I just always assumed I would do something else to make a living. Then, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My [original non-web] field was not a welcoming and supportive place for that, so I had to start over, in more ways than one. The web industry hadn’t gone anywhere, and it’s always been welcoming to people with random educational histories, so I felt good about being able to make a living and staying healthy here. But because of my experience when I first tried to be open about my illness, I now keep it a secret. I’m not ashamed of it; in fact, it’s made me live life more authentically. For example, in my heart, I knew I wanted to work on the web the entire time.

The struggle is real

Mental health issues are as numerous and unique as the people who struggle with them. We asked the contributors what their struggles look like, particularly at work in the web industry.

G: I have an interesting mix of ADD, dyslexia, and complex PTSD. As a result, I’m an incomplete person, in a perpetual state of self-doubt, toxic shame, and paralyzing anxiety. I’ve had a few episodes in my past where a requirement didn’t register or a criticism was taken the wrong way and I’ve acted less than appropriately (either through panic, avoidance, or anger). When things go wrong, I deal with emotional flashbacks for weeks.

Presenting or reading before an audience is a surreal experience as well. I go into a zone where I’m never sure if I’m speaking coherently or making any sense at all until I’ve spoken with friends in the audience afterward. This has had a negative effect on my career, making even the most simple tasks anxiety-driven.

BG: I actually manage to at least look like I have everything together, so most people don’t know I have bipolar until I tell them. On the inside, I struggle—a lot. There are bouts of depression where I’m exhausted all day and deal with physical pain, and bursts of mania where I take unnecessary risks and make inappropriate outbursts, and I can switch between these states with little or no notice. It’s a balancing act to be sure, and I work very hard to keep it together for the people in my life.

SK: After the sudden death of my mother, I started suffering from panic attacks. One of which came on about 30 mins after getting to work, I couldn’t deal with the attack at work, so suddenly went home without telling anyone. Only phoning my boss from a lay-by after I’d been in tears at the side of the road for a while. The attacks also triggered depression, which has made motivation when I’m working from home so hard that I actually want to spend more time at the office. Luckily my employer is very understanding and has been really flexible.

BP: Depending upon the time of year, I struggle greatly, with the worst making it nearly impossible to leave my apartment. As most folks often say, I’ve gotten rather good at appearing as though I’ve got my shit together—typically, most people I interact with have no idea what I’m going through unless I let them in. It wasn’t until recently that my mental health began to make a public appearance, as the stress of starting my own business and attempting to “have it all” made it tough to continue hiding it. There are definitely spans of time where depression severely affects my ability to create and interface with others, and “fake it till ya make it” doesn’t even cut it. I’m currently struggling with severe anxiety brought on by stress. Learning to manage that has been a process.

X: I have been fortunate to be a high-functioning bipolar person for about 5 years now, so there really isn’t a struggle you can really see. The struggle is the stress and anxiety of losing that stability, and especially of people finding out. I take medication, have a routine, a support system, and a self-care regimen that is the reason why I am stable, but if work starts [to] erode my work-life balance, I can’t protect that time and energy anymore. In the past, this has started to happen when I’ve been asked to routinely pull all-nighters, work over the weekend, travel often, or be surrounded by a partying and drinking culture at work. Many people burn out under those conditions, but for me, it could be dangerous and send me into a manic episode, or even [make me] feel suicidal. I struggle with not knowing how far I can grow in my career, because a lot of the things you do to prove yourself and to demonstrate that you’re ready for more responsibility involves putting more on your plate. What’s the point of going after a big role if it’ll mean that I won’t be able to take care of myself? The FOMO [(fear of missing out)] gets bad.

Making it work

There are different ways that people can choose to—or choose not to—address the mental problems they struggle with. We’re ultimately responsible for making our own mental health decisions, and they are different for everyone. In the meantime, the rent has to get paid. Here’s how our contributors cope with their situations at work to make it happen.

G: I started seeing a therapist, which has been an amazing help. I’ve also worked to change my attitude about criticism—I ask more clarifying questions, looking to define the problem, rather than get mad, defensive, or sarcastic. I’ve learned to be more honest with my very close coworkers, making them aware of my irrational shortcomings and asking for help. Also, because I’ve experienced trauma in personal and professional life, I’m hypersensitive to the emotions of others. Just being around a heated argument or otherwise heightened situation could put my body into a panic. I have to take extra special care in managing personalities, making sure everyone in a particular situation feels confident that they’re set up for success.

BG: Medicine has worked very well for me, and I’m very lucky in that regard. That keeps most of my symptoms at a manageable level. Keeping my regular schedule and maintaining some degree of normalcy is a huge factor in remaining stable. Going to work, sleeping when I should, and keeping some social appointments, while not always easy, keep me from slipping too far in either direction. Also, writing has been a huge outlet for me and has helped others to better understand my condition as well. Finding some way to express what you’re going through is huge.

SK: I had several sessions of bereavement counseling to help with the grief. I also made efforts to try and be more physically active each day, even if just going for a short walk on my lunch break. Working had become a way of escaping everything else that was going on at the time. Before the depression I used to work from home two days a week, however found these days very hard being on my own. So I started working from the office every weekday. Thankfully, through all of this, my employer was incredibly supportive and simply told me to do what I need to do. And it’s made me want to stay where I work more than before, as I realize how lucky I am to have their support.

BP: Last winter I enrolled in a leadership/yoga teacher training [program] with a goal of cultivating a personal practice to better manage my depression and anxiety. Making the jump to be in an uncomfortable situation and learn the value of mindfulness has made a huge difference in my ability to cope with stress. Self-care is really big for me, and being aware of when I need to take a break. I’ve heard it called high-functioning depression and anxiety. I often take on too much and learning to say no has been huge. Therapy and a daily routine have been incredibly beneficial as well.

X: The biggest one is medicine, it’s something I will take for the rest of my life and it’s worth it to me. I did a form of therapy called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy for a couple of years. The rest is a consistent regimen of self-care, but there are a couple of things that are big for work. Not working nights or weekends, keeping it pretty 9–5. Walking to and from the office or riding my bike. I started a yoga practice immediately after getting diagnosed, and the mental discipline it’s given me dampens the intensity of how I react to stressful situations at work. This isn’t to say that I will refuse to work unless it’s easy. Essentially, if something catches on fire, these coping strategies help me keep my shit together for long enough to get out.

Spreading awareness

There are a lot of misconceptions about mental illness, in the web industry as much as anywhere else. Some are benign but annoying; others are pretty harmful. Here are some of the things we wish others knew about us and our struggles.

G: Nothing about my struggle is rational. It seems as if my body is wired to screw everything up and wallow in the shame of it. I have to keep moving, working against myself to get projects as close to perfect as possible. However, I am wired to really care about people, and that is probably why I’ve been successful in UX.

BG: Just because I look strong doesn’t mean I don’t need support. Just because I have problems doesn’t mean I need you to solve them. Sometimes, just checking in or being there is the best thing for me. I don’t want to be thought of as broken or fragile (although I admit, sometimes I am). I am more than my disorder, but I can’t completely ignore it either.

Also, there are still a lot of stigmas surrounding mental illness, to the point that I didn’t feel safe admitting to my disorder to a boss at a previous job. Mental illnesses are medical conditions that are often classified as legitimate disabilities, but employees may not be safe admitting that they have one—that’s the reality we live with.

SK: For others who are going through grief-related depression, I would say that talking about it with friends, family, and even strangers helps you process it a lot. And the old cliché that time is a healer really is true. Also, for any employers, be supportive [of those] with mental health conditions—as supportive as you would [be of those] with physical health situations. They will pay you back.

BP: I am a chronically ambitious human. Oftentimes, this comes from a place of working and doing versus dealing with what is bothering or plaguing me at the time. Much of my community involvement came from a place of needing a productive outlet. Fortunately or unfortunately, I have accomplished a lot through that—however, there are times where I simply need a break. I’m learning to absorb and understand that, as well as become OK with it.

X: I wish people knew how much it bothers me to hear the word bipolar being used as an adjective to casually describe things and people. It’s not given as a compliment, and it makes it less likely that I will ever disclose my illness publicly. I also wish people knew how many times I’ve come close to just being open about it, but held back because of the other major diversity and inclusion issues in the tech industry. Women have to deal with being called moody and erratic. People stereotype the ethnic group I belong to as being fiery and ill-tempered. Why would I give people another way to discriminate against me?

http://ift.tt/2DpFJ2G