#was it actually 10 inches? maybe or it could have been 8

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Why would I schedule haircuts when I know that I can wander into my bathroom on a whim and cut off 10 inches of hair with a pair of fabric scissors?

[whole-circus]

can i please request nsfw headcanons with laughing jack and candy Pop ?? thanks youss 🫶🏻

Candy Pop and Laughing Jack NSWF hcs!

➥ Hiiii!! (pretty clown boys im drooling). Here you go! And again sorry that i kept you waiting!!!! >:(( Ofc please remember about safe sex always and things like that!!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

Candy Pop

Yeah he is big king, and I mean it, he is huge everywhere! Candy isnt human, so things like "average size" doesnt applicable to him, basic laws of nature doesnt exist either. Bold assumptions that he would be more than 10-12inches (25-30cm) when hard and he is thicc! Such a yummy dick and pretty too! Shape doesnt look human tho! Candy has couple of veins here and there, and is well trimmed (he just cares about his look so much, not like you can complain). Good luck with taking him - at least he can hit all your sweet spots easly. Absolute nightmare if you are virgin!

Candy is defintely a top! He just loves using his power and big posture against you! All that to make you feel completely under his control, relying only on him. Loves making absolute mess from you, the state when you cant even think properly and just moan needly his name while bouncing on his cock - he lives for that so much. There is no better view than his pet being obdient and good just for him! There is a small chance that he would let you dom him, but its one in a milion tbh - Candy just loves "taking care" for you too much!

Such a kinky and freaky beast pls!! Like bondage, spanking, BDSM, pet play, size kink, breeding, degradation!!! Sign him in, he is so willing to try anything and everything!! Boy has seen a lot so you wont suprise him anyways. When you two are having sex, he loves choosing risky places when you two could have been seen! Candy does have something from exhibicionist and get off so much from the thought that someone would see you both! Big on making you cry, he so so mean i swear! Doesn't let you cum without his persmission, says many mean things or maybe its becasue of pain? Can't wait to see you looking up at him with your teary eyes! Candy Pop is also rough partner, constantly grabbing and pulling your hair ust to look at him. Give him blowjob if you are brave enough! He knows that he is huge and wont fit into your tight throat, but will try to shove as much as he can!

VERY VOCAL!! He moans, screams, whimper,, just anything! Making so many sounds like his own life depends on it! Also great dirty talker, you are wet just from his voice! LOVES CALLING YOU HIS PET! Or things like slut, dumb fucktoy, and things like kitten or filthy dog..But he has his cutie patootie side too! Sweetie, cutie, pup, baby (tho he likes to use it when he mocks you)! HE ALSO LOVES WHEN YOU CALL HIM NAMES THAT EMPHASIZE HIS POWER OVER YOU!! Master and sir are his thing, but he is curious what can you come up with!

Loves positions like doggy, cowgirl (doesnt matter if reversed or not, he just want you do all the work!) and listen!! he is big and strong and stuff so he can actually hold you against the wall and just fuck you when he hold you (usually for quickies). Candy also loves taking you on the table/kitchen counter - anywhere like that! Will grind against your butt with his bulge, and be ready to be humped when you two sleep pacefully!

When it comes to aftercare..it is here but nothing too special. Will definitely praise you after sex, telling you how good did you do, helps you out with potential hurts you got during - otherwise he will just lay here with you, caressing your back and hair.

Laughing Jack

Another huge and inhuman cock..good luck! Jack is way more on lenght than thiccnes, but i assure that you wont complain when he will pound into you! Also, he is not a human, so we ignore there basic laws of nature - i would say he is around 8-10 inches (20-25cm) long when hard. Has cute little bush, one sensitive vein on the back and no, his dick isnt in black-white stripes.. Second virgin nightmare, but what is the worst thing that can happen?

Jack defnitely prefers to be dominant one, usually he is this sweet and soft kind of dom..but be aware of his more rougher side, just give him a bit of time! That dosnt mean that he won't be sub..gladly will become one just for you! Just keep in mind that he is bratty as hell, not obeying any of your command..looks like he needs good punishment to put him in line!

Romantic love making with all this cheesy stuff like candles and roses >> rough sex rawr. I will propably dissapoint you all freaks, but nothing too hardcore? Jack is pretty loving and sensual partner once you are together, so the thought of hurting you in any way (even if its for your pleasure) would put him off a bit. But he is open to trying new things, just nothing too kinky! Enjoys marking you in diffrent forms - biting, straching you with his sharp nails or just giving you hickeys, he loves that so much..! Please pull his hair - or let him do the same to you, it doesnt matter at this point! Huge on breeding, loves the though of getting you all full with his cum..(no worries, even if you cant be pregnant!). And when it comes to oral.. he is so amazing at giving it! Jack has such a long tongue, ready to reach all your sweet spots or wrap around your whole lenght! If you would be the one giving, he might be a bit scared because he knows well how big he is, so it might take him a bit convincing.

Much of a whimper..! Makes such a cute and needy noises i swear to god. Jack doesnt really moan, but it happens to scream your name while growling! Also dirty talking can be a bit awkward sometimes, but most of the times he is doing great job and keep you both away frm this uncomfy silence!

Doesnt really like degrading you, sex is more of love making for you both and he just want to show you his feelings! You end up being sweetheart, love, darling or little one - he is sucker for this cute petnames. When it comes to him, he is fine with being just Jack or other sweet petnames, but wont complain if you call him daddy!

Jack especially likes the positions when he can see your face and have easy access you every part of your body! So missionary (pls, you two holding hands when he slams into you!), cowgirl and pretty much enjoyes 69. Special place in his heart goes to normal sex during cuddles or to cockwarming!

AFTERCARE IS SO SWEET WITH HIM! Whatever you need, he will bring it up to you! He will glady cuddle with you to sleep after he made sure you are clean and hydrated, but is as much cool with just hugging you ad talk about small, silly things.

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

[pattypanini]

Lay All Your Love On Me

Chapter 11- Forever and Always

Josh Kiszka x Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

TAGLIST

AN: Hi everyone! Here is the eleventh chapter of Lay All Your Love On Me from me and @mar-rein12! We are veryyyyyy sorry with the late chapter. The first 8 chapters we had prepared for a while but the last 3 have been made throughout the week whenever we had free time which is like never when your college students. But we're excited for you guys to read this, its a crazy one but we have good stuff for the future! We tried to play around with time skips and stuff, so if its confusing let us know so we can fix it for the future. So enjoy the eleventh chapter, Forever and Always

Warnings: 18+, SMUT, penetrative sex, fingering, butt stuff..., cursing, angst, slut shaming, fighting, fluff (comment if I missed any!)

Josh’s POV 

You are currently sitting in your musical theater composition seminar and couldn’t focus on anything. You were still thinking about your night with y/n a couple days ago. You haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. You needed her badly. You sit on your computer and attempt to take notes on the class but instead find your way onto a flower website. 

Maybe, I should order a bouquet for her, to surprise her. 

You scroll through the website completely disregarding your professor's lesson. You find a bouquet filled with pastel colored tulips. You remember her mentioning she had liked them before. As you look at the price, realizing it is only $70, you add it to your cart. 

You pay $10 for express delivery, in order to get it to her by the end of the day. You love doing nice things for her and you know this will make her so happy. You attach a message to it, signing it off with Love, Josh.

You click the place order button and let out a deep breath. Love Josh. You were feeling pretty bold for that one. You do love her though, or at least you feel like you could love her. She is everything and more that you look for in a woman. She is confident, hard-working, funny, and so incredibly beautiful inside and out. 

You continue daydreaming about her until your professor decides to end class a little early. As you walk to your next class you feel a buzz come from your pocket. 

3:12pm y/n: I don’t know if you have class rn, but if you don’t you should come back over to the dorm. I have the place to myself and I miss you. 

3:13pm Josh: No class at all, I’ll be over.

You would do anything to be able to see her, no matter what it takes. You quickly make your way over to her dorm, walking a little faster than you’d like to admit. But she just has that effect on you. Once you make your way up, you knock on the door. The door swings open, almost as if she was waiting for you.

‘Hi Joshy, I missed you.” She embraces you, wrapping her arms around your neck. You look down at her noticing she is dressed in only a thin, black satin robe. 

“I missed you too. What are you up to?” 

“I was actually about to hop in the shower!” She giggles, turning around to walk towards the bathroom. You just stand there not really knowing what to do with yourself. She halts her steps to whip around, facing you again. “You coming or not?”

 You immediately walk over to her discarding your shoes and shirt along with your backpack at the front door. Once you make it to the bathroom you kick off your pants and under garments, being left completely exposed to y/n. The only sound that could be heard was the hot water hitting against the shower floor. She slowly unties her robe, letting it fall to the floor. It feels like something out of a movie. 

Your eyes scan over every inch of her body. All the curves, dips, and perfections about her. 

“You’re so fucking sexy y/n.” Your hands connect to her sides, pulling her closer. “I need you, and your body so bad. Can I make you feel good princess, please?” She looks up to you with her doe eyes.

She sultrily struts over to the glass door of the shower, placing her hand on the handle. “You want me so bad? Well, then, you gotta come get me.” She pulls the door open to step inside, you run over to quickly step in from behind her. She tilts her head back and lets the hot water saturate her hair, and smudge her makeup. The way her mascara melted under her eyes turned you on way too much. You wanted so badly to push her down to the ground and make her suck you off but you wanted to make this about her. 

You immediately push her up against the wall. Your bare chest flush with hers, with your hands placed on either side of her head.“You just can’t control yourself can you?” She teases you, attempting to push her hips up into yours, under the stream of warm water. 

“Honestly, It’s hard for me to control myself around you, you’re so fucking perfect. Always making me want to fuck the shit out of you, like the dirty little girl I know you are.” You take your knee and place it in between her thighs, giving her the most perfect amount of stimulation on her clit. 

Her head flies back smacking against the shower wall with a sharp moan, far too turned on to feel the pain of it. Your lips connect with her in a passionate kiss. You gently slip your tongue past her lips, her gladly accepting it. You continue just like that for a few minutes until she pulls away. “Mmm… Josh…”

“What baby? Is something wrong?” You give her a concerned expression, eyes slightly widened. 

“No, nothing is wrong. I just need you to fuck me, hard. Right here. I can’t wait any longer” She begs, connecting your lips again with a quick kiss. 

You pull away this time, “Yeah? You want me to fuck you hard, right here?” You take your hand, lifting her chin up to look at you. She gives you a little nod, but that was not good enough for you. “Words, mama. Tell me exactly what it is that you want.”

“Holy shit, Josh. I’m so fucking wet for you. Feel it.” She takes your hand in hers, moving it to rest in between her legs. You drag your pointer and middle finger up her slit, collecting her slick on your fingers. You audibly moan at the sight before you, she looks too fucking good, its criminal. 

“Goddamn, yeah…you’re fucking soaked. Turn the fuck around, now.” You command her. She obeys, turning her body around to face the wall. Your hand finds its way to her back, pressing her up against the wall fully. You lean down to whisper in her ear, “Now mama, tell me what you want me to do to you.” 

You can feel her squirm under you, practically begging you to touch her. She turns her head to the side, “I want your fat cock inside of me Joshy. Fuck me so hard I can’t fucking walk. I wanna feel you fill me up.” She places her left leg up onto one of the low shelves, to steady herself and to make herself more accessible to you. 

You stroke your cock a couple times before lining yourself up with her entrance. You take your time sliding in, to allow her to adjust to your length. She lets out a deep sigh once you’re fully seated inside of her. “You been thinking about this mama? Because I sure have. You’re a fucking angel, got me wrapped so fucking tight around your pretty little finger.” You don’t move your hips, just yet, your cock only resting inside her. 

“I’ve been thinking about this, Josh. You have no idea. Give it to me, please. I can’t take it anymore.” There's no way you can give into her that easily. You gather her hair pulling it all over to one shoulder, giving her a sweet, little kiss on her back. 

“And why should I give it to you sweetheart? You think you earned it?” You question her, biting down onto her tender skin, making her wince. 

“I know I earned it Joshy, I’ve been such a good girl for you. You think I just invited you over here to be nice? I know what I want Josh, and I want you to fuck me. So give that to me or leave.” She says with a smirk, knowing how much she can control you.

You don’t mean that mama, you know you love me.” Oh shit. 

“Do I now Joshy? I could say the same about you.” She smiles pulling you into a kiss. “Now, I said I need you to fuck me or leave, so which is it going to be?” You bring your cock to her entrance, teasing the outside while bringing it up and down her slit. After perfectly lining her up,  you grab her hips and slam her back onto your cock. 

She lets out a loud moan and clutches onto the wall in front of her. You know she can take it by now, so you don’t slow your pace. You continue pulling her back onto you but you feel her push back harder onto you, knowing she wants it deeper. 

“Harder Josh please, it's not enough.” Not enough? You weren’t insecure about your size or anything but you wanted to give her more. You disregard the shower you were meant to be taking and turn off the water. Throwing the door open you pick her up and carry her to her bedroom, throwing her on the bed paying no mind to her wet body. Her soaked hair leaves a wet mark around her head, on the comforter. 

You bring her legs up to your shoulders, letting them drape over like a backpack. You line yourself up and begin abusing her pussy. Your hands squeeze tightly around her ankles, guaranteeing marks the next day. You slam in and out of her without any thoughts in your mind other than the sounds of your skin slapping against hers. 

“Is this enough for you now, slut? You’ve been such a spoiled little brat, a quick little fuck in the shower wouldn’t be enough for you huh? You need to be fucked hard like the whore you are.” You continue on with hard, deep strokes to her aching cunt. She was wrapping around you so perfectly and so wet, allowing you to easily slide in and out. 

She was so relaxed that her body was just so free and loose. All her perfect little holes were opened up to you and you couldn’t help but wonder what other holes you could fill. You flip her onto all fours, pressing her face down into the mattress. You grab her hips, beginning your harsh pace again. Your hands make their way down her ass and one hand stops right at her asshole. You take your thumb and lightly press it on the outside, not allowing it to enter. You begin to hear quiet moans coming from her mouth that were different from the ones from before. These ones were softer and hungry for more, not the loud, pornographic ones you always hear. 

“Do you like that y/n, does that feel so good?” Slowly making circles on the outside of it.

“It feels so good, please put it in Josh.” She begs.

“What a dirty girl, needing all your holes filled. Practically begging me to put a finger in her ass” 

“I am begging, so do it before I do it myself.” Her hand begins to reach around and moves your hand. Before she can do it, you swat her hand away. You take your pointer finger and shove it in her mouth, wetting it for her. You slowly slide it in, not knowing if it was something she had done before. 

“Please, tell me if it hurts or you want me to stop mama.” You begin to gently pump your finger in and out, in time with your thrusts. She shoves her face deeper into the bed, muffling her moans. 

“It doesn’t hurt, I need more Josh, add another.” What is this girl on?

You pull the finger out, not wanting to shove it in her mouth again you end up spitting directly on her asshole, and start massaging the two fingers into her. You make the final push, both fingers plunging inside of her. You slowly increase your speed back up to what it was before, slowing down your thrusts upon noticing her fullness. 

“Fuck, Josh. Oh God.” Her body starts to squirm underneath you. You can tell she's getting close. 

“Mama, you’re so goddamn dirty, holy shit. Wish you could see yourself right now, all fucked out and on display for me. I have you so filled right now. I wish I could fill you up in all your holes.”

 She only responds with a sharp moan. That causes you to speed up your thrusts again, the hand that wasn’t in her ass grips tightly onto her hip. You rip your fingers out of her, giving her a harsh smack on the ass. She yelps, beginning to grip harder onto the comforter. 

“I’m gonna cum, fuck.” She whimpers on, her eyes half lidded.  You continue on with your pace, doing all you could to push her over the edge. 

“Do it. Wanna feel your pussy squeeze around my fat cock. I’m so fucking close too.” Her moans heighten, making you thrust harder and faster despite your movements getting sloppy. 

Her body begins to shake, as curses and moans fly out of her mouth left and right. You feel a tight squeeze around your cock before you feel a new type of wetness splash onto your lower abs. A feeling you know all too well. The feeling of her squirt against your abs sends you over the edge, filling her up with your cum. You pant and slowly pull out of her, laying down in the bed next to her. 

She looks over at you, eyes wide and out of breath,” ya know…I’ve never done that before.”

You turn your head over to look at her, “clearly you were enjoying it.” You smirk at her.

“Oh trust me I was. Makes me want to invest in some butt plugs or something.” She says as you begin rolling off the bed.

You stand in front of her with your arms stretched out, offering her your hand. She allows you to take her hand, pulling her up off the bed. 

“How about we try again with a shower?” She giggles at your statement and nods her head. 

You both begin walking over to the bathroom, to hop in the shower yet again. 

—

Jakes POV

You sit on the couch waiting for Josh to get back from class. Usually you guys would go to the gym after your Wednesday classes, but he was late. You scroll on your phone trying to waste time until you come across a funny video of a cat barking. 

You save the video to your favorites on Instagram to show Josh later. A few videos later the front door rattles and in comes Josh with wet hair and a huge grin on his face. What's his deal? 

You give him a questioning look, “You look like you just got laid brother.” You joke with him.

Josh chuckles at you, “I was just in class.” 

You could tell when your twin was lying, “Reallyyy… why’s your hair wet then?” You raise an eyebrow at him in challenge. 

“I had to use the eye wash station in chemistry today.” 

“You don’t take chemistry dumbass, if you're gonna lie come up with a better excuse.” 

“Fuck… you caught me.” So, he finally decides to be honest with you.

“So where were you then?” You’re determined to get the answer out of him.

“I was over at y/n’s.” He says nonchalantly, dropping his bag on the floor and flopping down onto the couch. “Are we still going to the gym?”

“I mean I was planning on it, hence why I waited for you but you were late.” You look at your phone seeing that he's an hour late and now it would be cutting into band practice if you went now. “I can’t go anymore, I'm gonna be late for the band.”

Josh doesn’t even seem to care, he's just sitting there on his phone laughing at whatever video he’s watching. What a dick.

“Oh my god you gotta see this Jake.” He’s still chuckling as he turns his phone around to show you a video of the local bar and this crazy guy freaking out and jumping behind the bar. 

You couldn’t help but laugh at the video despite being upset with Josh. “You're not gonna believe it. I literally saw him one time when I was there and he was being really weird and was doing the worm. I took a video I think let me see…” 

You scroll through your camera roll, Josh expectantly looking over your shoulder. You scroll up to a few weeks ago in your camera roll. You scan your eyes around where you think it would be and click on it showing Josh. You begin laughing but don’t hear much coming from your twin. You look over to see a confused and disgusted look on his face. 

“Jake…” you hear him say. 

You turn to look at him, your smile fading and confusion written all over your face. “What?” 

“What was that picture next to it?” he spat at you, anger filling his voice. 

You swipe out of the video and look at what is next to it. 

No. fucking. way.

Y/n’s nudes from weeks back were sitting in your camera roll. But there is no way he would know that they are hers. “I don’t really remember, it might be this girl from my class. We’re talking right now I guess.” Shitty lie.

“Girl from your class? Really, because that looks a lot like y/n.” He says pointing at your phone, eyebrows furrowing and free hand clenched into a fist. 

“How can you be so sure, the girl's face isn’t even in the picture, bud.” 

Josh stares into your soul, your eyes battling for dominance. You knew this wasn’t going to end well for anyone's case.

—

Y/n's POV

You're woken up from your pre-study nap to a loud knock on the door. You knew Char would be getting home late but normally when she forgets her keys she calls you. You quickly hop out of bed to answer the door. When you take a peek outside the door you see…Josh. 

“Josh? What are you doing here, did you forget something?” Your eyes scan over the room to see if anything was left. 

He darts in the door, without invitation, and makes his way to the couch and takes a seat. “Were you talking to anyone while we were?”

“Not romantically… I mean I was only talking to you. I pretty much cut off any prior things with everyone.”

“Did you start new ones?” He says clasping his hands together, squeezing them. 

“No- Josh what is this about? If you're gonna say something just fucking say it.” 

“Okay fine. How long have you been fucking my brother?” Your eyes widen, that’s the last thing you expected to come out of his mouth. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?! I’ve never even talked to him.” You try your best to defend yourself, but you don’t think it’s working too well. 

“So you’ve texted him, is that what you're saying? I mean surely talking in person wasn’t enough so you also had to text when he wasn’t around. Squirt? Does that ring a bell y/n? Or the nudes you sent to his phone?”

“Josh, I don't send that kind of stuff anymore. Not to anyone. Plus I never sent them with my face ever!”

“Yeah true but it’s pretty fucking easy to notice you with that fucking initial necklace you always wear.” He says pointing at it. 

“You can’t prove anything, you asshole.” You didn’t feel like dealing with this shit right now. 

“Really, wanna hear everything that Jake just told me?” You give him a certain look to just shut his mouth. 

—

2 hours before 

Josh’s POV 

“How can you be so sure, the girl's face isn’t even in the picture, bud.” Jake proclaims.

“That necklace that ‘girl’ is wearing is the same one y/n never takes off because her dad gave it to her. The little freckle on her neck, her hair draping over the shoulders, who is it then Jake? I know her and her body, that's y/n.” You snap back at him, seeing right through his little lie. 

“Like I said, it might be a girl from my class. It might also be some random girl I don’t remember?”

“Then why would it be on your phone if you don’t remember? Open your messages now.” You’re seething. If you could see yourself right now, your face would most likely be bright red.  

“I don’t have to do shit Josh. Damn. You’re fucking crazy.” 

“No go ahead and just swipe through, if I don’t see her name then fine.”

Jake sighs, pulling open his messages and slowly goes through showing that he had nothing to hide while you quickly look at the previews of the messages. Nothing crazy until you see 

2:14am Jake: I know he’s asleep. Come to the bathroom now.

With that you grab Jake’s phone and run to the nearest room. You slam the door shut, locking it quickly.

“JOSH STOP, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT DOING THAT!” Jake screams muffle from behind the door. 

You take a deep sigh, knowing that you don’t want to see what's in those messages, but the pounding on the door tells you that your suspicions are correct.

After clicking on the messages, you’re met with weeks of conversations between Jake and y/n. 

9:45pm y/n: What am I wearing tonight hottie?

9:46pm Jake: Didn’t expect to be hearing from you, I missed you.

-

9:56pm Jake: I told you I’ve had my eye on you for a while now.

-

11:16pm Jake: I miss you too sexy, and your body. I wish I could be with you, taking that slutty little outfit off. Who picked that out again?😏

11:17pm Jake: Of course, sexy girl. Show me what's mine.

11:18pm y/n: Who said I was yours?

11:18pm Jake: Is anyone else getting these pics?

11:18pm y/n: No

11:19pm Jake: Then they’re mine, along with your body, all mine.

Holy shit. This has been happening underneath your nose the entire time. You trusted y/n, and even worse, you trusted your brother. You took out your phone and took pictures of some of the messages. You knew you needed to confront y/n and you knew you weren’t going to give her any time to come up with a story. You take Jake’s phone and hide it deep in your closet knowing he’ll never find it. You didn’t want him to give y/n any warning about what was going to happen. 

You yank open the door making your way to the door while Jake hollers his apologies behind you. You completely ignore him, slipping out the door. 

—

Present Time

Y/n’s POV

You couldn’t deny the truth. He had evidence and there was no way of getting out of it. 

“Josh, we weren't together. I- I can explain.” You grab onto his arm trying your very best to fool him. He forcefully rips his arm out of your grip. 

“So what was that then, huh. You can’t expect to act that way with me and not make me think it's something more than friends, because it wasn’t no matter what you say, and you know that.” His finger digs deeply into your chest, discomfort rising within you from his jab. You back away from his harsh touch. 

“It was more than friends, I thought it was friends with benefits.” You feel tears beginning to form in your eyes, your lips quivering as you attempt to speak. 

“Holy fuck y/n. You’re so fucking stupid. We said that because we were horny for each other, but I thought after making the connection it was something more. I should have known it from the beginning.” You see tears start filling his eyes, a wash of anger flashes across his face. He lets completely loose on you. 

“You’ve always been a slut and I should have recognized that you wouldn’t be able to keep it in your pants for just one person, but hey go for my brother I guess. Was it convenient to just go to one bed and then hop into another only 5 feet apart? Probably the most efficient you’ve ever been, huh?” 

“You’re such a fucking asshole.” The tears are flowing down your cheeks now, sob after sob racking through your body. The thing was… he was right. You are everything he says you are. 

“I’m the asshole? Wow, y/n, real classy. Just admit it. Admit you fucked Jake. Then we can go back to the way things were before this goddamn musical.” 

“I don’t want to go back to the way things were before the musical. I made some mistakes and I'm sorry. But I just want everything to be how it has been.” 

“Oh yeah? When you were sleeping with both me and my brother? Fuck that. I don’t want anything to do with you, y/n.” 

“Did you even think about why I was getting with him in the first place? You selfish piece of shit, and for me to think you changed your ways.” There is no way he’s placing all the blame on you. 

“MY WAYS?! You're the one who hasn’t ‘changed their ways’ but please enlighten me as to why you would have to fuck me and my brother at the same time.” He says, crossing his arms across his chest.

“You have always been a fucking dick to me, and you know it. Jake treated me right from the beginning and made me feel wanted. I had to beg for your attention and for you to be kind to me. When you finally started to act the way a ‘boyfriend’ should act is when I cut it off with Jake.” You’re screaming in his face, begging him to hear you out, to understand. You stand there completely helpless in the middle of your living room, crying. 

"Damn it y/n I love you. I always have, I wanted to treat you that way but I didn't want to scare you off." His hands rubbing his face.

"Well you didn't do a great job showing it." You say in a snarking tone.

Josh walks up to you, incredibly close, his face right in front of yours. “You are a bitch.” You’re done with his shit, you forcefully shove him backwards and off of you.  

The room gets quiet, only being able to hear the heavy breathing of both of you bouncing off the walls. 

“Josh… please. I don’t want this to end.” You can hardly make out his body now standing in the doorway, through your tears. 

“I want that too… but I don’t know what else to do. This,” he motions between the two of you, ”is fucked.” You collapse on the floor, curling up into a ball, and just can’t stop your weeping. “I’ll text you tomorrow y/n, I need to clear my head after tonight.” The last thing you hear from him is the door slamming. 

After what feels like hours of laying on the floor weeping,  you hear knocking at the door.

Josh?

You pick yourself off the ground hurrying your way to the door. Maybe he wanted to talk it out more, figure something out.

When you get to the door you're met with no one. You look at your surroundings and notice a large bouquet of flowers sitting on the ground. You bring them in, hoping maybe they were from your dad who occasionally sends you flowers as a little gift. 

You set them on the counter and open the card. Your eyes scan the words, causing you to fall to your knees. What have I done? This is your fault. You are a slut. You don’t deserve anyone. 

Thankful for you, forever and always. Love Josh.

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Taglist:

@demonrat444 @gvfstuddedmajesty @jordie-gvf @jazzyfigz @slut4lando @gvfmarge @peaceloveunitygvf @jjwasneverhere @areuirish @mar-rein12 @woyayaofdreams @freyjalw @musicspeaks @jennabobenasblog @do-it-jakey-baby @dannys-dream @its-interesting-van-kleep @josh-iamyour-mama

[badbatchposts]

Quiet Corners of the Galaxy, Ch. 28

Relevant tags/content warnings: Crosshair/Original Female Character, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Periodic Smut, Canon-Typical Violence, Alcohol Use, 18+/Explicit

Read the full fic so far on AO3

Read previous chapters on Tumblr: Ch. 1 l Ch. 2 l Ch. 3 l Ch. 4 l Ch. 5 l Ch. 6 l Ch. 7 l Ch. 8 l Ch. 9 l Ch. 10 l Ch. 11 l Ch. 12 l Ch. 13 l Ch. 14 l Ch. 15 l Ch. 16 l Ch. 17 l Ch. 18 l Ch. 19 l Ch. 20 l Ch. 21 l Ch. 22 l Ch. 23 l Ch. 24 l Ch. 25 l Ch. 26 l Ch. 27

Chapter 28 summary: Dara makes a difficult decision when preparing for the Partisans to arrive at the clone base.

Extra content warnings for this chapter: Smut! Unprotected PIV sex, hair pulling, jealous Crosshair, biting, breastplay, handjob, oral sex (m receiving), dirty talk, borderline degrading language, slight dom/sub dynamics

Dara wasn’t sure how long he had been fucking her up against the console, the locked buttons biting into the skin of her breasts, when she finally thought to ask.

“Wait—whose ship is this?” she panted out.

Crosshair answered with a particularly hard thrust and a harsh tug on her hair. “Howzer’s,” he grunted.

She rolled her eyes at him over her shoulder. “Seriously?”

He nudged the side of her face so that she was once again looking forward, watching their reflections in the darkened transparisteel of the viewport, and didn’t deign to elaborate, just nipped at her shoulder and redoubled his efforts.

Dara had spoken to Howzer for maybe five minutes earlier that day, finally getting a chance to take him aside and apologize to him personally for her deception. The clone captain had received it politely but distantly, but apparently that brief conversation had been enough for Crosshair’s jealousy to rear its head. When she had found the sniper that evening, arms crossed, leaning against the empty ship, and he had jerked his chin in the direction of the ramp, she hadn’t hesitated to follow him—both of them desperately tearing off clothes and armor before the hatch had even fully closed—but she also hadn’t realized, when he bent her over the dashboard in the cockpit, that he was looking to prove some sort of point.

She should have known. Honestly, she wasn’t completely sure whether Crosshair was actually attracted to her or just couldn’t stand the thought of someone else having her when he didn’t.

Of course, that wasn’t to say that she didn’t think he enjoyed this; he had made abundantly clear what he wanted from her, and since that first time on Xagalus she had felt his eyes on her even more than usual. And though she had to admit that she herself had been thinking about it almost nonstop, after the second time it had happened, she had resolved—again—to stay away from him.

Then she had found herself with a spare minute and with his gaze no longer burning into her, and before she knew it she was on her hands and knees on a rooftop getting absolutely railed.

And then there were all the other occasions since…

At least this time, with the privacy afforded by the ship, they could strip fully. Crosshair’s skin felt hot against hers, his well-muscled thighs pressing tightly against her ass at the summit of each thrust and his chest flush against her back, his stubble rubbing along her shoulder as he tongued every bare inch of her that he could reach. His free hand massaged at her breast, and his cock was angled perfectly, drawing her higher and higher.

Crosshair must have felt the way she was tensing and knew her climax was approaching. Dara’s eyes fluttered closed, but he yanked at her hair again and they shot back open.

“I want you to watch, cyar’ika,” Crosshair growled. “Watch yourself cum for me.” Their gazes met in the transparisteel, the intensity he aimed at her almost unbearable, and Dara couldn’t stop the orgasm from rocketing through her. Her face contorted with pleasure, and Crosshair smirked, that arrogant kriffing asshole, but she felt too good to care, every muscle in her body relaxing all at once. All she could do was pant through it as Crosshair’s brow tensed before he released inside of her with a groan and one final, hard drive of his hips.

He held her by the waist for a moment, stroking gently with both thumbs, before pulling out carefully. Dara pushed herself up and watched for a moment as he pulled his boxers back on—skin-tight black ones, she imagined GAR- or even Empire-issue, which hugged his ass so deliciously she wanted to take a bite—and settled into the pilot’s seat with a toothpick. He was sweating a little with exertion, looking extremely satisfied with himself, and he ran a hand through his hair to smooth it down. His gray locks, so closely cropped when they had first met, were growing out a little, beginning to curl chaotically around the burn scar at his temple. She liked it a little longer, selfishly wanted something to run her fingers through and pull hard like he always did to her.

It was too bad, really, that she couldn’t let this continue.

“You’re distracted,” Crosshair observed as she began to pull her own underwear and breastband back on. How it was that he always knew what she was feeling, she could never tell, and not for the first time she wondered if his genetic enhancements had something to do with his powers of observation, though even keen eyes shouldn’t have made him read her so well. She looked away, searching for wherever her pants had gotten to while they’d been frantically undressing.

She kept her voice flat, unaffected—he couldn’t think she was angry, her stronger emotions were like a beacon for him, only drawing him in further.

“This can’t happen again,” Dara declared firmly.

Finally managing to locate her trousers, she perched on the edge of the co-pilot’s chair to pull them on and glanced up to find Crosshair staring intently at her. When she met his gaze, he sneered and shrugged, indifferent.

“If you’d told me before, I would’ve drawn it out longer,” he drawled. Dara rolled her eyes and stood to begin searching for her shirt, but he stopped her by curling his long fingers around her wrist. “Give me five minutes, and we can go again.” He raised an eyebrow. “If it’s the last time.”

She scoffed. “It’ll take more than five minutes.”

Crosshair smirked and relaxed his grip ever-so-slightly, stroking along her forearm. “I’m an enhanced clone. Better stamina, better recovery… you can’t compare me to other men you’ve been with. I’ll always be better.”

Dara snorted. “You’re so full of yourself.” But she sat back down all the same, feeling tingles on her skin from his touch even after he released her. Another round tonight couldn’t hurt, she told herself. One last time.

Outside the ship, the base was quiet and calm, and she closed her eyes, savoring the companionable silence. This had gone better than she’d thought it would, perhaps proving her suspicions correct—that, whatever strange compulsion had led Crosshair to pursue her almost incessantly since they’d met, now, with his curiosity sated, he would rapidly lose interest.

For a moment, on the rooftop, she’d begun to doubt it, confused by his strange reaction to her scraped knees (hardly her first or worst sex-related injury, but Dara didn’t think he’d appreciate that bit of trivia). She’d been unconcerned until the moment she’d caught sight of him, looking so sullen he inexplicably reminded her of a wet tooka, and wasn’t that a strange image for someone she knew was so deadly, so ruthless. It was difficult to parse where that morose vulnerability had come from. Whatever it was, it was clear that he wanted—needed, maybe—to feel in control, and didn’t take any slips lightly.

She wasn’t sure if her steadfast refusal to allow him that was what kept him coming back for more, or if it was steadily driving him off. Not a rotation had gone by since the rooftop where they hadn’t managed to find themselves sequestered in some dark corner of the base, but he was more closed off since then, all growls and posturing in response to her prodding and stubbornness. They hadn’t spent much time together otherwise, one or the other of them always strolling casually off the moment they were dressed, practically radiating satisfaction.

Crosshair’s voice disrupted Dara’s reverie. “Why?”

“Hmm?” she responded. She glanced over at him lazily, trying to retrace her thoughts back to the last thing they had said, but his expression was blank as he stared out the viewport. 

“Why can’t this happen again? You can’t tell me you aren’t enjoying yourself.” The last sentence came as a seductive, self-confident purr, a tone she was now all-too-used to hearing in her ear as strong hands explored every inch of her. Crosshair met her gaze in the reflection, eyes smoldering and a familiar smirk on his lips.

Dara rolled her eyes. “That’s not it.” He raised an eyebrow, patient, waiting her out, and she sighed, resigned. “My people arrive tomorrow. There will be a lot to get done. I can’t afford to be distracted.”

He scoffed, folding his arms and turning to look at her directly. “Didn’t realize I was such a distraction.”

“You know what I mean.” Dara schooled her features, willing herself not to take the bait. This had to be done, and the less of it turned into a fight, the easier it would be to move on from.

Of course, nothing with Crosshair was easy.

“I’m not sure I do. If you ask me, it’s been good for you,” the sniper remarked. He looked her up and down, gesturing with his toothpick. “You’re less tense.”

The worst part was—he was right. She’d known, long before her breakdown on Xagalus, that she was too tightly wound, liable to snap at any moment, her life a constant stream of paranoia and risk management and death and atrocity, and none of this fixed any of that, but it sure made it easier to forget. It opened a release valve on the pressure.

“That’s not important,” she objected anyway. “I need to be focused on the mission. The cause takes priority.” It was the reason she hadn’t had even had a one-night-stand since shortly after she’d rejoined Saw, and if she hadn’t really had a repeat partner like this since before the war—well, she didn’t have the cause as an excuse, but that was her business.

This situation was rapidly deteriorating. Already, Dara could tell that Crosshair wasn’t prepared to accept that as an explanation, his expression too keen, searching for a gap in her armor where he could strike home. 

“Really? Or are you just worried your Partisans will find out you’re fucking an ex-Imperial?” he spat out, and yes, that thought had vaguely occurred to her, but he was still probing for his plan of attack, she should get dressed and get out of here before things escalated even further— “Or is it Saw?” he tried. His eyes flashed with recognition, certain he had spotted a weak point. “Is that it—you and Saw, then? Planning on going back to sleeping with your leader?”

“Oh, fuck off, Crosshair,” she exploded. At the back of her brain, a logical but entirely ineffectual voice pointed out that, yet again, she had let him goad her into a reaction, but it wasn’t nearly enough to stop her. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, since you still won’t let go of that thing with Howzer.”

He sneered. “This isn’t about Howzer,” he countered heatedly, as though they were arguing half-naked in some other man’s ship.

Dara considered him a moment, deciding on a different tactic. “How old are you?” Crosshair scoffed, beginning to roll his eyes, but she insisted, “No, I really mean it. The clones have accelerated aging, right? So how old are you?”

He crossed his arms and glared back defiantly. “Younger than Omega.”

“Dank farrik, that’s—”

“What does it matter?” he interrupted, and she would have to just tuck away her reaction to that troubling bit of information for another time.

She sighed. “What it matters is that I’ve been having sex for as long as you’ve been alive. If you’re going to bother being jealous of every person I’ve ever slept with, it’s going to be a long and frustrating battle.”

Crosshair chewed on that for a moment, and Dara wondered if, like her, he was struck by the enormity of it—that she’d accumulated a lifetime of experiences in comparison, had the luxury of living slowly, collected pleasures with meaning and without, nights remembered with fondness and some hardly remembered at all.

It didn’t matter—and he didn’t need to know—how close he was to the best she’d ever had. How much her body wanted this to continue, even while her mind insisted she was asking for trouble if it did.

Whatever Crosshair may have been thinking, it was tamped down quickly beneath a familiar veneer of snide cruelty, his suspicions confirmed. “So you are fucking Saw.”

“I’m not having this conversation with you,” Dara huffed.

Crosshair smirked and flicked his toothpick across the cockpit. It bounced against the viewport before disappearing amid the buttons of the console. “Hmm. Didn’t think the great Saw Gerrera would make it a habit of sleeping with his subordinates.”

“I’m not his subordinate,” she snapped.

“Then what are you to him?” He was regarding her seriously now, and she realized that, beneath the smug, irritating prodding, the question was genuine. It was an impressive interrogation, one she could hardly believe she had fallen for, but as usual, he’d played her emotions like an expert.

Dara sighed again, feeling herself giving in. “Saw and I have been friends a long time.” It was the truth, though a complicated one, the strands of their shared history far too difficult to untangle here, now.

Crosshair only hummed mockingly. “Hmm. Is that what you call it?”

She stood, and closed the short distance to the pilot’s seat to tower over him. “Listen. I’m only going to say this once, and then you’d better back off. Saw and I slept together twice, and neither time was a good idea.” And what a bad idea it was, both times mired in grief and a quiet desperation to acknowledge they were still alive, the silence afterward a durasteel wall between them. She shook her head to free herself of the memories. “It won’t be happening again, and it has nothing to do with this.”

His piercing amber gaze held hers a moment, but Dara struggled to read its significance.  

“I know it won’t,” he crowed quietly. He placed his hands on either side of her waist and stroked his thumbs over her hip bones, a smug expression coming over his features. “Not now that you’ve had me.”

Crosshair’s fingertips moved slowly upward to tug her breast band over her head, his eyes drinking her in as her breasts tumbled free. It occurred to her that this must be the most they’d ever actually seen of each other, the soft lights of the cockpit exposing what had been, in their earlier encounters, partly hidden in shadow or beneath clothing hastily tugged aside. She let her own fingers stroke lightly over his torso, tracing the lines of his tattoos—a skull over an Aurebesh 99 on his left pec, a target on his right, an impressive likeness of his rifle along the crease of one hip, a two-headed snake slithering across his ribs—and felt the way his muscles twitched at her touch. It was unfair, really, how perfect his long, lean body was, how tempting it was to follow the salt and pepper trail of hair down his abdomen to where his cock was already hardening at her attentions, tenting the fabric of his boxers.

But she was giving into temptation already, wasn’t she, and so Dara slid her hand beneath his waistband and took his length firmly in hand. Crosshair groaned and squeezed her breast, pulling her closer with his other hand at the small of her back. He rolled one nipple between his thumb and forefinger as he enclosed the other in his hot mouth, sucking lightly at first, then harder when Dara began to stroke him steadily. She sighed in contentment, the feeling of velvety-soft skin against her palm and his tongue working her nipple to a peak sending waves of arousal to her core. Crosshair slowly slid his hand up along her spine until it rested between her shoulder blades, pressing her even tighter against him, as though he couldn’t taste enough of her, needed more and more even as Dara straddled him in the pilot’s seat.

When Crosshair finally released her nipple to take a sharp, gasping breath she gripped his shoulder, pressing him back against the headrest, and captured his lips against hers. Their tongues battled ferociously for a moment until Dara picked up the pace at which she was pumping his cock, swiping her thumb against the sensitive head and using the pre-cum she collected to torment him further. Crosshair broke away from the kiss with a groan.

“You’ll be the death of me, burk’yc,” he murmured, resting a hand against her cheek. The gesture was oddly affectionate, and Dara found she couldn’t hold his gaze.

“Should I stop?” she teased. She trailed her lips down his jaw, his neck, his collarbone, sucking and nipping as she felt the urge, greedily tasting the salt of his skin. Crosshair didn’t reply for a long moment, mesmerized as she tongued the lines of his tattoos and scars then sank onto her knees in front of the pilot’s seat. She paused at the end of a long lick over the Firepuncher at his hip and toyed with the edge of his waistband, looking up at him coyly.

Dara could tell he was close to losing control, jaw clenched and hands curling into fists at his side, eyes ravenous and predatory like a starving nexu, but he quickly recovered his composure, disguising his insatiable need under an insufferable smirk.

Crosshair settled a possessive hand at the back of her head. “You don’t want to stop. Go ahead, mesh’la—take what you want.”

She felt a twinge of annoyance at how he still insisted on pretending like he was the one in charge even as she practically had him eating out of the palm of her hand, but it was competing with a purring part of her that agreed wholeheartedly, that felt the gentle pressure of his long fingers petting through her hair and wanted to lean into it. That wanted to give in.

And if it was going to be the last time, well, she might as well enjoy herself.

With one smooth motion, Dara slid Crosshair’s boxers down his slender legs, eyeing his erection hungrily as it bounced back against his stomach. His cock was as beautiful as he was, really—also incredibly unfair, he had a big enough ego already—all golden-brown skin and a dark head, long and a little thin like the rest of him, curved just fucking perfectly like it was designed to make her see stars. As eager as she felt, she went slowly, sucking marks along the inside of his thigh, tonguing the crease of his hip, then just breathing gently on his cockhead as she made her way to the opposite side to do it all again.

Crosshair tightened his grip in her hair a little in warning. “Don’t tease, brat,” he growled.

Dara grinned up at him mischievously. “But you said I could take what I want,” she protested, her tone all faux innocence, and before he could snarl at her she was already mouthing at his shaft, kitten licking her way to the head where she swirled her tongue around the sensitive glans and swallowed him down. It had been a long time before Crosshair, but she had always been kriffing good at this, so she relaxed her throat easily and took him far enough that she could press her nose into the coarse gray hairs at the base.

“Karking hell,” he hissed through gritted teeth. She could feel him twitch at the back of her throat and held him there a moment before she eased up a little, breathing deeply through her nose.

Maybe she would be the death of him.

She dedicated herself to putting on a bit of a show, alternating bobbing up and down while gently tonguing the thick vein at the bottom of his cock, only to then suck hard, or take him down to the root, or press the head to the inside of her cheek so he could see it protrude a little. Whenever she looked up, he was watching, nearly unblinking, unwilling to tear his eyes away from the sight.

He was breathing hard, chest heaving, unable to hold back his groans. “Fuck. Look so good… on your knees for me…”

Dara hummed around him, and he tightened his grip in her hair, maybe resisting the urge to make her take him deeper, faster. She liked this, liked the taste and feel of him on her tongue, liked seeing him nearly out of his mind with pleasure. His eyes finally drifted shut, and his head tilted back for a moment before he eased her off of him.

“Ride me,” Crosshair rasped, demanding, and his tone brooked no disagreement. She considered disagreeing anyway, just for the sake of it, to push him, make him finally lose control—but then, she did want to ride him.

Still, “Say please,” she goaded, even as she shed her pants and underwear and straddled him once again, hovering her wet pussy over his rock-hard length.

Crosshair seized her by the hips hard enough to bruise, eyes glinting dangerously. “You don’t want me to say please. You want me to split you in fucking half. Ride. Me.”

Then Dara was choking out a cry as he sank into her. When he withdrew a little, she chased after him, craving the feeling of him inside of her, unable to resist her own need any longer. She held tight to his shoulders for stability and he let her set the pace for a while, watching from under heavy lids as she fucked herself on his cock.

So perfect, it was so perfect the way his cockhead stroked against the sensitive spot inside her, making her feel impossibly full, the way the friction against her clitoris when she grinded down against him sent pleasure tingling through her veins. Her thighs burned with effort as she rose and fell against him, helped only by his hands against her hip and ass guiding her up and down, but it was easy to ignore as she focused entirely on the promise of ecstasy that awaited her.

Crosshair was always uncharacteristically talkative during sex, and now was no different, though she wasn’t sure he even knew what he was murmuring. “That’s it, meshla. So good. Getting so close now, keep going. Can’t decide which I like better, your mouth or your cunt, they both feel so kriffing good for me. But you don’t need me to decide, do you? You’re happy with any way you get to take my cock.”

Dara cried out, her orgasm finally spilling over her, though she was careful not to let her cries and moans transform into words, fearful they would say too much, the voice in her head echoing, it’s true, it’s true, she wanted him, would take whatever he gave her, and now she had him and it felt too good and this couldn’t be the last time, she didn’t want it to be the last time.

Unable to keep moving through the force of her orgasm, Dara had half-collapsed onto Crosshair, who was thrusting slowly, almost gently, while she put herself back together.

She kissed the skin of his shoulder lazily where she had landed, panting, “I’m— I’m done, you can go ahead and—”

“No,” Crosshair interrupted, speeding up his pace only marginally. “You’re going to give me another one.”

Dara furrowed her brow into his shoulder. She had blown him to within an inch of his life earlier—he had to be close enough, and she wasn’t sure why he was holding out now. “What? You haven’t had enough already?” she managed to snark through her post-orgasmic daze.

Crosshair nosed his way down to her mouth and captured it with his, teasing her with his tongue and sucking on her bottom lip. “I could make you cum every morning, noon, and night for a tenday straight and it wouldn’t be enough,” he growled.

She shivered, his words sending electricity straight to her core, riling her up all over again, but before she could even think to reply he was back to thrusting hard, rough and demanding, marking all over her neck and breasts with lips and teeth. His strong hands at her waist helped her keep bouncing on his cock despite it feeling like all the strength had fled from her limbs, and soon she could already feel another climax barreling toward her like a railspeeder.

By the looks of it, Crosshair wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer either, his furrowed brow and nails biting into her skin betraying how close he was, and all she wanted was to feel his warm spend leaking out of her again. He gripped her jaw and held her pressed tightly to his chest, pistoning up into her relentlessly, forcing her eyes to meet his.  

“Say my name. Tell me who’s making you feel like this.”

And Dara no longer had the wherewithal or even desire to resist, crying out, “Crosshair!” as bliss, sweet bliss, invaded every one of her senses. She was just barely aware of him burying his face in her neck, releasing his own moans, and she felt the telltale twitch of his cock as he came inside her.

It took her a few moments to come back to awareness enough to realize she was shaking. Crosshair still held her tightly, his arms wrapped around her waist and hands rubbing soothing circles against her back. She breathed deeply, trying to regain control of her body, and moved to extricate herself.

“Hold still. Too sensitive. Just—wait a minute,” Crosshair murmured. Dara took pity on him and stopped wiggling. He kept his forehead resting against her shoulder, just breathing for a long moment. It was warm and comfortable, resting in his lap while he softened inside of her, and she toyed unthinkingly with a stray curl at the crown of his head and let herself relax. Kriff, that was amazing. It was always amazing.

She didn’t want to stop.

If she didn’t stop now, she might never be able to.

“You good yet?” Dara asked. When Crosshair finally nodded, she slipped off of him, quickly pulling on her underwear and trousers before too much of his cum could leak out onto her thighs. They dressed in silence, though it took Crosshair much longer to retrieve the scattered pieces of his armor and fit them back into place. Dara stood uncertainly when she had finished, feeling like she should say something, but not sure what.

Crosshair glanced up at her from where he was still working on securing his vambraces. His eyes were hard, his expression cold. “Go on. You got what you wanted.”

Dara grumbled in frustration. “I thought we both did.” Sure, now he was angry, and she would be able to make sense of that, if he hadn’t also gone from indifferent to jealous to smug to disdainful to fucking her brains out all in the past forty minutes.

He didn’t reply, just looked away dismissively.

Rubbing her eyes where she could already feel the tension coming back, Dara made her way to the hatch, pressing the button to lower the ramp before turning to him one final time. “Listen… really, it’s been…” She sighed. “Just, know that— This isn’t about you.”

Crosshair waited long enough after she left to be sure she was too far to hear the clatter before he chucked his helmet against his reflection in the darkened transparisteel of the viewport.

Tag list: @stardusthuntress @skellymom @megmegalodondon @somewhere-on-kamino @morerandombullshit @zahmaddog @flaming-dumpster

Thanks again to @cloneflo99 for the amazing banner!!!

[littlepetbee]

i've had the house to myself this weekend so i decided to marathon a bunch of movies that have been on my watchlist for aaages. here they are ranked bc i love making lists lmao:

Game Night: this one was far and away my favorite...it's a fun, clever mystery that's also funny as shit. rachel mcadams is the queen of comedy and also waving a loaded gun around like a crazy person. fuckin 10/10, you guys

I Love You Phillip Morris: listen. i avoid jim carrey like the plague - it's nothing personal, his face just irritates the shit out of me. but i'm SO glad i gave this one a try anyway...it was so cute and touching and gay little ewan mcgregor with his gay little earring is genuinely the softest, sweetest thing to ever exist. it makes complete sense that someone would become a conman for him lmao. 10/10

Bullet Train: thee action comedy lbr!! shoutout to @seeinhindsight for reccing this one to me. it was so well done...with all the winding storylines and running gags it easily could have been a tonal mess, but i feel like they knocked it outta the park. also the steady stream of "oh shit this guy's in it too???" was fun as hell. 9/10 just bc some parts made me sad and my movie ratings are based solely on how they Make Me Feel, not any objectivity lol

Attack The Block: my brain the whole time: YEAH BOY(EGA)!!!! an alien invasion movie with a Message and pre-star wars john boyega?? that was always gonna be a slam dunk for me. though i do gotta say watching british movies as an american is always jarring as hell bc there's no guns. it feels like the weirdest kind of unreality. anyways 8/10

This Is Where I Leave You: slowing things down and getting way more Serious here but i was surprised by how much i liked this one (though maybe i shouldn't have been, since dysfunctional families/siblings are kinda my bread and butter lmao). the surprise lesbianism-slash-lowkey-polyamory definitely elevated it, too! 7/10

Shattered Glass: 100% the movie you gotta show people when they try to say hayden christensen sucks at his job bc uhhh he ate that shit up. not to be #me about it, but if that dude can be that fucking cute the whole time and still make me wanna throttle him within an inch of his life, you know he was doing something right. 6/10

As Above, So Below: i was bummed at first when i realized it was one of those found footage horror dealios, but i actually ended up really liking it. and honestly for the setting, i think found footage really was the only way to go. the concept was super interesting and the horror aspects were sufficiently creepy without being enough to give me nightmares, which is about all my babyass can handle. 6/10

Everybody Wants Some!!: yeah the hoechlin 80's movie lol. it was fun! the characters were likable for the most part! the vibes were good! but B's cannot live on vibes alone (that's a bible verse, i'm p sure) so i was left wondering what the Point was. i am not the target audience for hangout movies, i'll tell you that lmao. 3.5/10

so that's the list!!! all in all a very great way to spend a weekend <3

[palfriendpatine66]

15 Questions

A friendly (maybe paranoid, maybe just old person) reminder from your Pal: don't give away answers to security questions in one handy location on the internet :)

1. Are you named after anyone? Nope! I like it that way, and genuinely like my name

2. When was the last time you cried? A couple nights ago. I'm not usually a crier but I've cried more in the last two months than I have in two years tbh.

3. Do you have kids? I do

4. What sports do you play/ have you played? Extremely not athletic. I danced from toddlerhood - college (more than casually but never competitively) and miss it dearly

5. Do you use sarcasm? Way more than I should

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? How they talk to other people.

7. What's your eye colour? I say brown but actually hazel.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? I don't *need* movies to happy ending - I love a good tragedy and to fight back the tears - but that's definitely my pick of the two. I *cannot* do scary movies. One day I might be able to talk myself into watching Dr. Sleep (pretty much proving I would in fact watch anything for Ewan)

9. Any talents? I put the pro in procrastinate, baby.

10. Where were you born? New England region (United States)

11. What are your hobbies? Fic reading and writing (minimal as of late 😞). Cross stitch. I've been trying to teach myself how to draw and play guitar. I enjoy painting but have no skill. At one time I was into crochet. I just really like creating.

12. Do you have any pets? 🐶

13. How tall are you? 5 ft 7 but I slouch a whole inch down. Not good man.

14. Favourite subject in school? psychology

15. Dream job? Fun fact: In 5th grade I listed my dream job as writing Star Wars novels. I guess I've sort of kind of made it there with fics. I really *really* wish I could write for a career.

tagged by @sky-kenobye and @fangeek-girl (thank you!) Open invitation to anyone who wants to play.

[ilariyalavorowrites]

Good Enough (9-1-1) Part Eight

Imagine: Imagine leaving LA after feeling like an outsider in your relationship with Bobby and Athena as they seem to pull away and distance themselves from you. Only to find that it is almost impossible to actually walk away.

Warnings: Angst with happy ending, AU, Bisexual Athena, BDSM

Pairings: Bobby Nash x Reader x Athena Grant

Word count: 2,192 words

Universe: 9-1-1

Reader gender: Female

Tagged:@graniairish @madhatter-crazyasahatter-blog @4everflowercore @blueskyredrosegrey @agathaharknessfan96 @ljej95@yoshinorecommends@horsedragonllama@forever2ne1@clayzayden@multifandomlesbianic

Previous/ Next

Part: 8/10

He had not expected this. It was one of the few options that he had never fully considered. It had always been a possibility, but Bobby hated to think of you, curled up in the sterile white sheets of a hospital bed. Injured and alone, such a horrible fate that he’d never wished upon anyone, let alone someone to truly care about. He was grateful for the shot in the dark that had been Michael’s message.

The man would never truly know the depths of his gratitude for such a slight gesture of kindness when he reached out. This had been the ray of hope that he had desperately held out for even if it wasn’t directly from her. It was a start, with a destination on the edge of the horizon with a logical end in sight. 

There was just one problem that stood in his way: an unmovable object. He was still ten hours away from the end of his shift. His feet were glued to the spot, as if he had been shackled down, chaining him to the firehouse. He had a duty to perform, one that he could not escape from. This would not override that sacred vow that he had made all those years ago back in Minnesota and then again when he had taken charge of the 118.

His personal desire to rush to her side would feel like a dereliction of duty, putting his own wants and needs above the proud men and women that served alongside him. Simply put, Bobby had to push down his personal feelings. However, there was one thing that he could do in a moment such as this. Pass on that information to another to continue on in his place, do what he could not, no matter how much he wished that he could. To take you into his arms, hold you close, and never let you go.

As he typed out the message, the image formed in his mind. It would be something to hold on to, to make it through the day. For now, that would be enough until he could make his way to the hospital and to her. Maybe it was time to have that conversation, the one that he had been avoiding. Maybe it was time to step out of the shadows and stand proudly in the light flanked by his two lady loves. 

No more clandestine meetings or whispered words in dark corners. An end to playing pretend and hiding what he truly felt. Bobby desired nothing more than to shout it from the rooftops. Like he had almost done under the influence in the days prior. The realisation of those heart-breaking revelations and stolen moments was almost too much to bear. For the carpet had been pulled out from under his feet with your disappearance. Bobby knew that all he could do now was look ahead to the future. One that he could see as clear as day and standing there smiling back at him was Athena with her fingers interlocked with his own. However, to his right stood another with fingers interweaved with his left hand. 

May, Harry, and Michael joined them, beaming brighter than he had ever seen before. His family, his home. This shift would be agonisingly slow, time to inch ahead, minute by minute as he waited out the clock. “I’m coming,” He whispered, urging himself onwards. He just needed to wait it out, but he would get there. He most certainly would.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fear chilled her blood and ice filled her to the brim as she made her way through the corridor. Its sterile, white-washed walls were not a comfort. Far from it, it was a harsh reminder of what she had almost lost not long ago. Athena hated hospitals on a profoundly personal level. Yet, on a more professional basis, the cop in her was awed by the sheer number of daily miracles within these hallowed halls.

Hospitals were as much a beginning as they were an end. Life started and concluded each second of each day. How close she had come to losing May, her darling daughter, within one, but that had been her darkest days. This would be far from a repeat of this fact she was crystal clear on. Bobby’s text had been straight to the point, but a wealth of information lay within its many paragraphs. He steadily relayed all that he had gleaned from her ex-husband. There was no underlying disdain or frustration at the mere fact that he had chosen to reach out to her new beau. 

To be brutally honest, she could easily see the reasoning behind such a choice. That man knew her inside and out. It was rational and coolly logical to place on such shoulders as Bobby. She would have done the same if she had been in Michael’s shoes, standing on the outside, looking inwards. Not quite seeing what lay just out of sight, but not blind enough to ignore a few more obvious signs. Instead, a warmth blossomed, and a love that never died resurfaced. This was just another occasion when Athena was reminded of how happy she was to have had those years together, how wonderful her life had been and still been with Michael. He was no longer walking by her side in the same role.

No longer the husband, but still very much her best friend and companion in the trying time that more than likely lay ahead. He was there when she needed someone. He’d always be in her life; she was impossibly sure of this. Those restless nights had cooled long ago, but the affection and love had simply changed and grown over the years for the better. She could finally see that now, as clear as day.

Michael’s messages twinned with the information she had gained from her colleague, revealing another piece of the story. The thread was twisting with every step she took, entangling her up in the web with her lover firmly perched in the middle like a spider patiently awaiting its unsuspecting prey. The only difference between the cop and the fly was a semblance of what lay ahead. She might not yet hold the true extent of the reasoning behind what had led her, but she had the drive to uncover the whole truth and nothing but the truth from the horse’s mouth.  

Each step felt heavier than the one that came before, unlike Bobby, who felt as if he was sinking to the bottom of the ocean, dragged down by the guilt of the many what if’s, unanswered questions clouding his mind as he carried on through with the duties of the day? Athena was determined, placing aside those feelings for now for a quieter moment at the end of the day. When she could simply scream into the void, releasing all those pent-up emotions, all that hurt clawing away as it tried to find a way out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------- “This was never how I wanted things to go,” you muttered softly to yourself as you limped into the sparsely occupied waiting room of the discharge lounge. This was where you got off, as your unforeseen stay in the hospital had come to its inevitable conclusion. 

Yet as the chill of loneliness and sting of reality crept in. You had to live with your choices. You had hand selected this fork in the road. No matter how much it cut, you had done this and there was no coming back from that.

It was time to re-emerge and find your place in the world, where within society you belonged, as LA was no longer home. In your mind, you had nothing left here. This had been a delayed takeoff. This was your second attempt, but underneath the cool level of confidence that you had in your decision, niggled a small sliver of hesitation. Could you go back and hash out the issue? Fix what they had broken in the relationship. Each one of them was equally responsible for their part in the throuple’s downfall.

You shook your head, pushing the notion away. There was no way around the crack that had been forming at the very heart of the foundations. You just need to keep the thought of what was over the horizon in the very forefront of your mind. Focus on what lay ahead, not on what you were leaving behind. No matter how much it broke your heart to do so but this would be better for things yet to come. Or at the least, that’s what you continued to repeat like a mantra until it stuck.

You clung tirelessly to those words as you ease yourself into one of the most uncomfortable plastic seats ever conceived. For until the taxi that the hospital had organised arrived to cart you off the nearest train station, you would remain in this area of the hospital. With a big blue boot on your left foot supporting the healing appendage, and a few scraps and bruises littered across your flesh that were barely visible. Your mind continues to recycle the same doubt filled thoughts, but you need to focus on what came next. 

On finding a new job, a new apartment all whilst crashing on your older brother’s sofa. It was a temporary fix and a new start. He hadn’t expected such a call, but would never turn you away. The two of you hadn’t been as close as you once had been. Time and distance brought a silence and awkwardness as you grew apart. A few heated disagreements had deepened the chasm. However, when push came to shove, the two of you had been drawn back together. Blood was thicker than water and you loved your brother. The past remained firmly behind you, in the rearview mirror. 

You had already alerted him through the daily update, letting him know that you were being discharged ahead of schedule. You were starting on your journey out to him and would keep him posted as you inched closer.

The sound of the doors on the other side of the room sliding open caught your attention. Lifting your head and turning in the direction of the sound. Not sure what you would find, another patient arriving or a staff member being called away. Your eyes widened, shocked at the sight standing in the doorway. Athena Grant in all her glory. The eye of the storm was passing as the chaos of hundred mile winds returned. You would need to batten down the hatches and prepare for what lay ahead. A fight of a lifetime, one that you had done everything to avoid.

You tried to make out the expression displayed on her face, but you found it next to impossible. Athena had one hell of a poker face. This worried you, as the next few minutes could go in any direction. 

At the mere sight of her, shame washed over you as you never considered this outcome. Athena had led the charge, searching hell and highwater to locate you. Never daring to think that she wasn’t ready to let you go. If she was here, then Bobby would be that far behind.

As you anxiously played with the hem of your shirt, you waited for her to make the first move. Trying to calm your already frayed nerves, but that seemed impossible now. For there was no way out, no alternative option to escape your choice head on. As you held your head high, square your shoulders and readied yourself for the emotional, driven verbal assault that would undoubtedly follow. 

No amount of apologies could plaster this gaping wound that you had inflicted with poorly thought through choices.You hadn’t considered the fallout that would follow in the hours, days, or weeks after fleeing the very state that had your home. This had been lingering on the horizon, awaiting this moment, and now it had come barrelling at high speed, laser fixed upon the target stuck to your back. It had been inching closer, bringing you and Athena back together.

Thoughts of Bobby re-emerged. Was he on duty? He had to be. It would explain why he wasn’t standing shoulder to shoulder with the cop as a united front. How long would it be before he entered the picture? For if she knew of your location, then surely he did too. 

As sand trickled through in the hourglass, it wouldn’t be long now. Time had turned against you. This was the beginning of the end and you were far from ready, but that no longer mattered. You had to face the consequences of your impulsive actions. There was no way out, no way back. They needed answers, and you held them under lock and key. It was time to give them up.

It was the least you could do, all things considered. It was time to release your hold upon their collective hearts and allow them to move on with their lives without you in it. Regardless of the anger and frustration aimed squarely in your direction, you would soldier on through.

[lorbanery]

I am a Sally Hansen hater. They put out some very cute nail polishes, but I've personally never met a Sally Hansen nail polish that ever actually dried.

But I saw these cute ass press on nails and I wanted a set for some photos I'm getting done and these were perfect. So I figured, what the hell? It's just plastic and super glue, even THEY couldn't fuck that up.

FORESHADOWING

Now, I've been applying press-ons all Pride month — this is my fourth set and third brand. So let's get it out of the way now: When I say these were a pain in the ass to get on? It's not just a skill issue. I know how to apply press-ons properly, I still consult the directions every time, and I've had a good amount of recent practice.

First things first, they call these "almond shaped", which you might agree with based on that top-down photo. But consider this from another angle:

Now, I don't have anything against claw nails. It's a very cool maximalist aesthetic that allows for a lot of artistic and style expression; and, let's be honest, it's a style that was created by Black women and femmes and the dislike of those kinds of nails is deeply rooted in misogynoir (that particular combination of sexism and racism that Black women experience). Besides, it's just created by the natural curve of the nail (or at least the curve of the false nails recreating the curve of the natural nail). But USUALLY you don't get that real claw look for AT LEAST another inch. I don't know why they have this extreme curve. For that matter, going back to the "almond shape"? Almonds aren't concave like the edge of these nails!

I know that's hard to achieve a perfect almond shape when you're doing it yourself. But I'm 87% sure these are molded, and also you are a MASSIVE manufacturer. You can afford to make nails that are ACTUALLY almond-shaped and not have this weird angle and concave edge that makes it look like I'm cosplaying an iguana.

Moving on. I have used press-on nails since the days you could only get semi-opaque white nails in square or oval shapes that required you to nail polish them yourself. I have NEVER found a press-on that was this cheap, flimsy plastic. Below are two comparison photos to show you how much they bend.

Onto the actual application. It is normal for some glue to seep out at the edges of the nail. It's even normal that, occasionally, your pressing down finger will get stuck to the press-on while the press-on didn't get stuck to your nail. But it happened for 8 out of 10 of these nails. All but the thumbs got a healthy, ugly coating of nail glue while I struggled through multiple attempts to get the press-ons to actually STICK TO MY NAIL.

Now, I will give SH this: I was able to wipe some acetone nail polish remover over them to remove most of the glue without straight up melting the plastic, or even losing the shiny finish. Which was inconceivable twenty years ago. I'm pretty sure that's one of the many reasons they started manufacturing them with colors and designs already on the nails. Because if you made a mistake while you were painting them yourself there was a high probability that the only remover you had on hand was acetone-based, so you were SOL.

So credit where credit is due, not only did these not melt, not only did they not lose their shine, I don't even see any evidence the design was affected in any way.

On the other hand I've never had this much leakage. Like, it was so bad that I, someone who had previously been under the impression that acetone was still a no-no for press-ons, broke out the acetone remover. And you can still see some of the leftover glue residue.

These nails are more expensive than Kiss nails but infinitely worse quality.

I guess we'll see how long the glue actually lasts, but I'm not holding my breath. I still have some leftover Kiss glue I could use instead, but honestly their glue is pretty shit too. Like not as bad as SH, but once the press-ons have lifted/popped off once, you'll get maybe a day out of the new glue application before they lift/pop off again. I wish I still had the OPI glue to use, but by the time I got frustrated enough with the Kiss glue, the OPI glue had leaked out and coated the whole applicator tip in semi-cured nail glue.

Anyway fuck Sally Hansen.

[little-tyrant-gortash]

Oathbreaker

Pairing: fem!Tav x Enver Gortash, fem!Tav/Astarion

Tags: Emotional Manipulation, Manipulation, Manipulative Relationship, Paladin Tav (Baldur's Gate), Vaginal Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Drunk Sex, Unrequited Love, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Scars, Blood and Injury, Injury, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, Miscarriage, Torture, Psychological Torture, Implied/Referenced Torture

Word count: 2,107

Ao3 here.

Chapter 1.

Chapter 2.

Chapter 3.

Chapter 4.

Chapter 5.

Chapter 6.

Chapter 7.

Chapter 8.

Chapter 9.

Chapter 10.

Chapter 11.

Chapter 12.

Chapter 13.

Chapter 14.

Chapter 15.

Chapter 16.

Chapter 17.

Chapter 18.

Chapter 19.

Chapter 20.

Chapter 21.

Chapter 22.

Chapter 23.

Chapter 24.

Chapter 25.

Chapter 26. ⬇

Chapter 27.

Chapter 26: All Of It

"Tav."

"Mm?"

Gortash had been staring at the wall but didn't see it at all. He had been stroking her head while she cried, but it didn't take her too long to calm down. Now, she just rested in his arms, not moving an inch.

If she thought she'd smite him five minutes earlier, she realised that she wouldn't be able to do it. Especially not if his arms were still this comfortable.

"I want to be a better man for you."

It felt like a hand gripped her throat to choke her. She wished he'd never said this. She couldn't know if it was just yet another way to manipulate her to do someone else's bidding; it had been complicated with Astarion, yes, but it was so much worse with Gortash.

"I don't want you to change because of me", she murmured in his chest.

"But I want to."

Tears flooded her eyes. Again. Whenever she thought she had no more tears, she always found out that she was wrong.

"Are you saying this because you think I want to hear this?"

"No. I say it because I mean it."

"Does that mean that you're thinking about leaving Bane?"

Gortash felt conflicted. Actually conflicted. Doubt, even if fleeting, crossed his mind. How to word it so she would understand…?

"I can't do that."

His whispered words told her so much more than anything else. Can't. He was unable to. Tav recalled what she'd picked up about Bane, which wasn't much. God of Tyranny and Darkness, all things she didn't particularly like. She'd seen what Shar had done to Shadowheart, who, in their early relationship, told her that many people feared the dark but Sharrans embraced it in it's glory. Tav preferred sunlight. Especially after she saw what Shar had done to Shadowheart when she turned away from her.

Why turn to darkness when in light, things were so much more beautiful? Maybe she'd need to go back to Sorcerous Sundries to learn more about his god. To know why he 'can't' leave him.

"And how are you planning to be a better man if you're still a tyrant?"

Her question was almost rhetorical, he knew. But, he tried to answer it.

"I may make harsh decisions. But with you on my side, you could… ease them."

Tav pulled away a little, looking up at him with a frown.

"You'd actually allow me to have a say in anything in the city?"

"You'll be my Archduchess", he pointed it out, "of course you'll have a say in everything."

His Archduchess. Tav felt the anger rise again. Her expression changed, and at first, he couldn't understand why. She pulled away, and he let her. She sat up, her stomach rumbling quietly.

"If I remember correctly, I gave the ring back to you."

Gortash sat up as well with a small smile. He reached in his pocket and pulled out the ring.

"Fortunately, I have it with me."

She stared at him for a long time, trying to decide whether she should smack him off the bed or not.

"I said that whatever we had was over. That I'll never forgive you."

"I urge you to reconsider that, because, you see, you've stopped that plot, and not only that, you've made me realise that I do want Baldur's Gate to be safer for children."

Tav narrowed her eyes at him.

"What the hells are you talking about?" She hissed angrily, like a cat that was ready to strike at any moment. "You want to make me believe that the sad story of my shit childhood inspired you?"

"Not just yours", Enver tilted his head slightly. "Mine, too."

Her brows twitched, and Gortash realised she had absolutely no idea about where did he really come from. That was surprising; hadn't she met any of those who thought that he should've stayed underground with the mob? That he had no rights to claim the power he seized?

"I've established a shelter for the refugees at Rivington", he added, lowering the ring in his lap to play with it. He hadn't had his golden rings on, just the gauntlet with the Netherstone in it, and of course, the pieces of gold that covered all of his arms. "You were right, you know. They could stay there until we reach the next step of our plan."

"And you think this is supposed to make me dance back to you?!"

Tav didn't look any less angry. Gortash said nothing, just thought a clear, confident 'yes'. But then, he had to realise that this would be just a little bit harder than he thought. He sighed and moved backwards, off the bed to kneel beside it. He put the ring on the spot where he sat a moment ago, then folded his arms and rested them on the edge of the bed. Tav's anger dissolved a little; especially when she saw that he could conjure the most innocent looking puppy eyes.

I really must smite this man.

"How can I prove it to you that I'd do anything for you to forgive me?"

Interesting.If she could ask for anything in the world from the city's most powerful man, what would it be? Currently, all she had on her mind was food. She couldn't think straight when she was so hungry, and especially, when she remembered of the delicious meal he'd prepared for her in the middle of the night…

No, she should establish hard limits for their shared plan. She didn't particularly like that he wished to tadpole literally everyone to control them better, but at the same time, the more people she met, the less she cared about what happened to other adults. Children, though, were different for her. They were simply off limits.

"Never hurt the kids." She decided quietly. "Don't kidnap them, don't hurt them. Treat them right, make them feel safe and taken care of. And not just you, but the countless True Souls out there, too."

"Alright", Enver murmured quietly, reaching out to touch her knee, to stroke it with his thumb. "I can do that."

"Swear to me that you'll protect them."

"I swear."

Her lips trembled when she realised that he'd never looked more honest and serious. Little did she know that he wasn't just promising to protect those children he could care less about, but he also had their own child in mind. He'd build his empire for his own blood in a way that it'd be the safest place for them.

As he watched her reach out for the ring with a sigh, slipping it back on her left middle finger, he could feel it again. That stirring. That bittersweet tightness in his chest. He never liked to feel this, because it could be weaponized against him, but at the same time, it was all he lived for lately. Her affection. Her attention. Her presence. Her.

"Tav", he murmured again, indecisively.

"Yes?"

She reached down to gently run her fingers in his hair. He closed his eyes, enjoying it for a moment, before he sighed and glanced up at her again.

"I lov-"

"No", she abruptly cut him off, removing her hand from his hair with a pained expression. "No, don't say that."

"Why not?" Gortash furrowed his brows, then climbed back up on the bed to wrap his arms around her.

"Those "three little words" are "everyone's favourite"", Tav whispered, her tone sad, "but I don't like them."

"May I know why?"

She melted against him, and he finally felt like he was whole again. She rested her head where his heart was, listening to the beat that seemed a bit too fast.

"Astarion purposefully used them to get what he wanted from me", she admitted softly. "I don't believe it when I hear it since then. I don't want to hear it. I always think it's a lie."

Gortash could add one more thing to the list he hated Astarion for. Then, he smiled as he kissed the top of her head.

"Well, then… I hate you way less than the rest of the world."

He could feel her giggle in his arms, and it made him smile, too.

"I hate you way less, too", she murmured, snuggling closer to him.

As the room got darker around them, he gently maneuvered with her to lie down on the bed and cover her with the blanket. They didn't talk anymore, just rested comfortably for a while… until she suddenly pulled away from him.

"What's wrong?"

He sat up just when she did, but he suspected it as soon as she rushed across the room, right to the open bathroom. By the time he stopped behind her, she was already trying to get rid of the rest of the small amount of food that remained in her stomach. Enver shifted behind her, helping with her hair.

"Uhh, no", she groaned and tried to wave him away, "don't… look…"

"It's fine", he replied quietly, "I've seen worse, you know."

Imagining the 'worse' he might've seen made her gag again.

"You don't- have to…" She pushed his hand away, and he let her. Tav leaned over the basin now, using some water from it to refresh herself. "It's a persistant illness, it seems. I'll have to visit a healer…"

"It's not an illness", Gortash murmured.

She reached for a towel with a shaking hand and dried her wet face.

"You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about", she groaned. "I've had this for days by now, I can't keep anything down."

"Tav", Gortash sighed. "Think."

"How can you even tell me such a thing? Tav, think. That's the worst someone can say when the other is down with an upset tummy. Do you have any idea how bad it is to feel this sick??"

Gortash said nothing at first, just smiled. Another symptom he could tick off the list. Sudden, drastic mood swings. How could she be so blind to the obvious? She should've known. Unless her symptoms were very different that one time when she conceived…

"Tav-"

"Stop Taving me! Spit it out! Why can't you ever just say what's on your mind?! Why must I drag everything out of everyon-"

"Darling", Gortash took her hands in his with a small smile. His thumbs rubbed her palms, as he attempted to calm her down. "We've been together, almost every day, for almost three months."

"And?! Why is that so important right now?!"

"Because you said your cycles returned to normal after that incident", he gently pointed it out, "but you haven't had a period since you were with me for the first time."

Tav stared at him in the dim light, shocked. For a minute, she couldn't even say anything. That couldn't possibly be. Before Gortash and before Astarion, she'd spent time with others – sure, not just men –, but she was never blessed with a child. It remained an impossible, unreachable dream that never would come true. This was one of the main reasons she parted ways with the gods in general. They refused to help her in every regard. If the fact that she'd been abandoned as a baby and her horrible childhood weren't bad enough, she'd never be able to experience what was it like to be a mother. To prove that she'd be better than her own parents.

But now that Gortash pointed it out… how couldn't she notice? Was she that head over heels for him that it didn't even occur to her? The room started to spin. Enver kept rubbing her palms when he saw she paled further.

Dread. She was filled with utter dread. He was right. It seemed that perhaps the gods were waiting for the right moment to bless her. And it was his. She carried the child of the Chosen of Bane under her heart. Her hands trembled in his hands. What if he didn't want it? What if-

"Everything will be alright, I promise", he reassured her, "I'll personally make sure that everything will be alright, Tav."

"You- you want it?" She barely could say the words out loud, her heart felt like it was beating outside of her body.

"Of course I want it", he sounded so gentle as he reassured her, "why wouldn't I?"

"I don't- I don't know", tears flooded her eyes, and he cupped her face in his warm hands.

"Tav, with you, I want everything." He kissed her forehead. "The good, the bad, the unexpected, all of it." He lowered his head, so their foreheads touched. "All of it."

[sophierunsfrombears]

My Username Came True

It’s a Monday afternoon. It’s 90something degrees out in Sierra City. Vibes and I decide to wait till 6pm to start a 4,000ft climb, but since we couldn’t get a hitch back to trail for an hour, we hiked the mile and a half up the road, then started the switchbacks. A few switchbacks up, I realize I’d left my Garmin InReach($400 satellite communication/ PLD) in town, so back down I went. At around 8:30 I was finally making my way back to trail, and I was in high spirits from everyone back in town getting a good laugh out of my misfortune. At least I found the inreach! I’ve never night hiked by myself before, and honestly I am afraid of the dark. There, I said it! So getting into the dense forested switchbacks with nothing but a headlamp to see the narrow path ahead did give me the creeps, but barring a few quick look’s behind me to ensure no one had followed me up from town I felt relatively good about the whole ordeal. Hours pass, and I’ve now entered the ridge walk portion of the climb, it’s mostly open with about hip to chest high shrubs scattered about periodically, and lots of loose dirt and shale to trip over. But again, feeling pretty good about how far I’ve come! With about 8 miles in my pocket, I stop to filter water, turning off my headlamp to feel the weight of the stars above me. After some chugging of cold stream water I keep going with the idea that I’d meet Vibes at the dirt road at the top of the climb. About 1.3 miles away from the agreed tent site, zoned in on the path in front of me, (my headlamp has dimmed significantly and was about to die) when the bush I’ve just grazed with my shoulder erupts in commotion. I can see nothing but movement and dark shadows, but the heavy lumbering footsteps tell me that a bear had been mere inches from me with his head in the bush and is now running down the trail ahead of me. I freeze, barely breathing, as about 100ft down trail I see two reflective eyes staring back at me. My headlamp is so dim I can only see the two eyes, no outline of any sort. We stare at each other for a few minutes, and the bear starts walking towards me, holding my stare. I start shouting “Hey Bear!” and clicking my sticks together, but he continues to walk forward a few more steps. Again, he stops and stares at me for a few moments. I’m terrified my noise won’t work, but then the eyes disappear. I have no way of knowing which direction he’s gone off to, so I wait at least 10 minutes before slooowly walking forward, yelling the whole time. Without the reflective eyes I have absolutely no way of knowing where he went, so I’m constantly looking ahead, behind, below, and above me. On one of my twirlings I catch him, maybe 15 feet above me on the ridge, staring down. It looked like if he took one step forward off the ledge he could’ve landed right on top of me. I’m making an obscene amount of noise this entire time, but I do know that I’m not supposed to actually run from black bears, as it supposedly could trigger a predatory chase instinct. So I’m now making all this noise while walking backwards along this slippery trail to keep the bear in my line of sight. When I round the corner though, I take off running. And I don’t stop for 1.3 miles. Every few feet I do a look around to make sure I’m not being followed, but I run the entire rest of the way up the climb to the dirt road. I fear each leaf crunch, twig snap, and shadow is the bear. I’m soaked in sweat as I hit the tent site and the last dregs of adrenaline dissapear. I let out a good exhausted sob then watch Howls Moving Castle to calm myself down before absolutely passing out. Needless to say, unless I’m accompanied by a friend, I will no longer be night hiking through bear country.

I do want to shoutout Tooth and Claw, the animal attack podcast I listen to that taught me things about bears!!! I do feel so much more confident after actually seeing the behaviors I have learned actually do make black bears stay away. It is important to note that if you’re ever in grizzly country there is a different set of rules for those guys.

[avrablake]

15 Questions Tag: Thea

Thanks for the tag @thetruearchmagos

Can you believe I've never done this one for Thea? Oops. If you're interested in the other characters I've done this for you can find them here.

I'll leave an open tag for this and also tag @withlovelunette @odysseywritings @reneesbooks

No pressure, of course. You can answer for yourself or one of your characters.

-

This is set around the beginning of Beyond the Darkness. Let's just pretend she would talk to anyone and answer questions about herself. Or maybe we can pretend Lucan is asking her these questions for some reason.

-

1. Are you named after anyone?

I think our mom got our names from stories she liked.

2. When was the last time you cried?

*she blushes and hunches her shoulders slightly before giving an embarrassed little laugh*

I cry pretty easily actually, even when I don't want to. I was feeling frustrated yesterday and that always makes me tear up.

3. Do you have kids?

No! I've never really been in a relationship. I think I would like to have kids someday. I think I would enjoy it. I don't know. My mom was a really great mom, but I'm worried I won't be. And I wouldn't want to get sick like she did. I doubt I'll ever have the chance anyway.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Maybe more than I should. I don't think I use it that often though.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Um, I guess I'm usually more worried about what people notice about me. Do I stand out too much? Do they recognize me? I guess that would be the first thing I notice. If they notice me or if they seem like someone I should avoid.

6. What’s your eye color?

I guess it's obvious that they are brown, but maybe people don't always notice that they are kind of amber colored. In the right light you can sometimes see little bits of green.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. I don't like scary movies at all.

8. Any special talents?

I think I'm a pretty good cook! My dad taught me. He's a really good cook.

I'm a manipulator, so I can use my abilities to move things without touching them, though it's easier if I can touch them first. That's not really that special but my mom taught me a trick most people can't do. Things that are really small or lightweight are hard to control, but my mom figured out that you don't have to control them, you can sort of push them back and forth and balance them in the air.

I don't know anyone else who can do it.

9. Where were you born?

My family is from Karmin, a small town near Cross Pointe. I was born there.

10. What are your hobbies?

Hobbies aren't really something I think about these days. I like cooking though.

11. Have you any pets?

No. I like animals but with my mom being sick, it would have been hard to have a pet to take care of. And now, our life isn't really stable enough for one.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I've never really been into sports. I get tired to easily.

13. How tall are you?

5 feet 3 inches

14. Favorite subject in school?

I liked Literature classes. I guess I love stories just like my mom.

15. Dream job?

I wish I could work at the inn with my dad, helping him cook. That was always his dream, that our family could run the inn together. I think it would be nice.

[kariachi]

Okay, a fakemon for the day! Finally made the base idea work for me! Notes are under the read more.

~~

Deligasen

The Farm Dragon Pokemon

Normal/Dragon type

Single stage

A bipedal pokemon capable of dropping onto all fours when needed with a highly horizontal posture, possesses a pudgy body and long, thick tail, hind limbs have three, thick-clawed toes while shorter forelimbs have four-fingered 'hands', head is flat and wide with a beak and large round eyes, two rows of four long, meaty caruncles grow along each side of the tail, main body is light blue with dark purple spotting, the top of the head, down the spine, and across the tops of the caruncles are spattered in white as are the hands and feet, beaktip and tailtip are dark purple and eyes are orange

Ability- Regenerator/Run Away

BST- 409 (HP- 77; Atk- 63; Def- 71; SpAtk- 62; SpDef- 74; Spd- 62)

"Over the course of the summer Deligasen grow meaty caruncles along their tails, which can be easily shed to distract predators or feed young. Its offspring climb trees for safety." "This pokemon has been a beloved companion of humans since ancient times. Deligasen's white patches spread as they age, with many claiming whiter individuals produce tastier caruncles."

~~~

Lizard, or dinosaur, or other such sort've critter? Maybe snail? Pangolin? Develops masses of 'sausages' over the summer that are used to attract mates and make themselves look bigger to predators, plus can be shed to feed offspring and distract predators?

'the young of this pokemon often climb to high places to evade predators'

'delicatessen' 'Stegouros elengassen'

'Deligasen'

'Bout 4 ft at the shoulder, 4 5 ft tail to balance it... I wanna say like 12 caruncles per row per side, each about 3 inches in diameter? So 48 in total, each weighing about 1.5 lbs on average for a total of... 72 lbs per critter per year. Seems like a lot by pokemon standards so maybe cut that in half for just 36 per year per critter... Either way it's not a lot at one time but a lot over time. Especially since this would be real fucking tender and well marbled meat...

Looking at numbers and it looks like even the higher number wouldn't feed a person for a year off one critter, though it comes a lot closer than the lower one. Don't know, kinda depends on what you're looking for, technically the higher should be more accurate but pokemon does weird shit with weights so... You can either almost feed a person for a year off one or would need three to do it.

Unless of course you bumped it up to 2 lbs per caruncle and didn't halve it, then you could feed one person per critter per year with a few pounds left over. Like I said, all depends.

And all this assumes I'm not low rolling my numbers, which I'm annoyingly prone to do when I'm theorizing and such, there could be a few more caruncles... But again, pokemon.

Actually what the fuck am I doing that's way too complex for a pokemon design. It's pokemon we could get like four each row but they'd likely be thicker, which would work better for some of the inspo...

So 4 10-inch by 7-inch by 3-inch caruncles... Then we'd be looking at about 8-9 lbs each, so ~130 lbs of meat per critter, give or take. Well a chunk of take because this isn't accounting for the fact you're likely going to skin this shit but listen that shit is still edible. And it can't be too thick on these things, they have to break away easy and thick skin would make it harder. More likely they have relatively thin skin that would get gelatinous and crispy real nice.

Okay actually bumping up to 5 ft tail because wtf was I thinking the numbers don't work sizewise. These ones probably don't either but they'd work better. So we just add another four caruncles worth to numbers because I want to do other shit tonight, bumping it to ~160, calling it there, one of these could feed a fucker for a year with plenty to spare, get a full team your household'll probably eat good.

[grumpygreenwitch]

Fanfiction 17-18-19

WARNING FOR IMPLIED BODILY HARM. Fortunately, when you're very, very, very old, you tend to have very, very, very old friends, too. About ten chapters to go, so maybe 2-4 weeks.

Buy me a Ko-fi?

1-2-3 + 4-5 + 6-7-8-9-10 + 11-12 + 13-14 + 15-16 + 17-18-19 + 20-21 + 22-23 + 24-25 + 26-27

17

"They're moving him to the Refuge tomorrow," Evie told them all when she came into the meeting room of her Boston offices. "Which tells me he was telling me the truth. They've not been able to get anything useful out of him."

"I don't want to sound the asshole," Gevaun rumbled quietly. "But the sunflower's an angel, he's not even three centuries old. How, in the name of every place under the sun, is he standing up to an archangel rooting through his brain?"

"He's probably not." Jean was coiled in a seat, staring out the window at the snow-clad Boston Common grounds. His jaw was clamped down so tightly the muscles of his jaw made his face look even leaner than it was. "Raphael’s likely pulling it all out of him. And all of it is numbers." He shook his head minutely, flicking his fingers at his own temple. "Angel accountant. A secret language no one else in the world knows."

"They'll fry him for trying to, the rest of them," Gevaun realized.

Jean buried his face in his hands.

"I'm sorry, Jean."

"Not as sorry as I am," the older vampire said roughly. "I should've known this was what he was doing. I should've seen it. I should've trusted him. I should've -"

"Should've what, gone with him?" Evie cut him off tartly. "To Archangel Tower, crawling with Guild Hunters? So someone could recognize you and collar you?"

"I'm his Second!" Jean sprung to his feet and shouted at her. Evie and Gevaun both stared; never once in all the time they'd known the vampire had he been able to so much as look an angel in the eyes for more than a few seconds. But there was no fear to Jean at the moment, only rage. "I'm his safety. I'm his shield. I don't care what it cost me, I should be there with him."

"See, this is why he locked you up."

"Aside from the obvious issue, Jean, they would've just used you against him," Gevaun pointed out.

"He can't stay there. He can't - They can't take him to the Refuge. I won't let them. If they hurt him, I hurt them."

"One, don't go feral on me, "Evie said calmly. "Two, actually, we want him taken to the Refuge." When the vampires stared at her in disbelief, she went on impatiently. "There are no Hunters in the Refuge! There are no humans! No one to ID Jean! Do you think Kliman hasn't been thinking about how to fix this already?! How can you both be this dense, you're supposed to be good at your jobs!"

"Can Kliman get him out?"

"Not alone. You're both going to the Refuge."

"When?" Jean was already out of his seat.

Evie offered him a thin smile. "Now."

18

Alyss woke up and immediately curled up into a ball under his wings. Every inch of him hurt and the roar of the nearby engines wasn't helping. It throbbed in the tattered marrow of his bones, it pounded through the shattered remains of his skull, it left his heart dancing erratically, each piece to its own tempo. He felt as if he might be sick but there was nothing in his stomach to bring up.

He was in one piece, for the most part, though it didn't feel like it. There had been nothing kind about his interrogation at Archangel Tower. It didn't surprise him, really; he was technically guilty of the second most heinous of crimes within angelic society. He'd expected to be treated as a criminal. He'd expected to be killed out of hand once Raphael had what he wanted. He'd never, in his wildest dreams, expected to be right.

But he had been right. The pipeline did not exist in his mind as locations and names; it was numbers. Expenses against inflow, laundering processes, spikes of statistical activity. Mileage measured not by the mile, but by the cost of fuel. Safehouses tallied not by their location, but by the sum total of the bills when it came to their upkeep. Supporters kept not by name but by donations, taxes, net sums, expected interests. He'd surrendered everything, he'd been a wisp of breath before the storm that was the Archangel. Alyss doubted Raphael had even noticed the meager fight the young angel had put up.

But the Archangel understood nothing of what he'd gained from Alyss. And that understanding, he couldn't force from the angel's mind. It was instinctual, a thing as true to Alyss as his breathing or the beating of his heart. He'd always known numbers; it was human languages he'd had to learn.

"Here," a man's voice said. Alyss peeked through the ruin of one wing, and saw a gloved hand holding a bottle of water to him.

"I don't think it'll stay down," he admitted in a hoarse little groan. "But thank you."

The man walked away and Alyss stared after him. He'd never been on a plane, there had never been a reason for him to fly under anything but his own power. But his parents were technically under the oversight of Archangel Michaela. And apparently when Raphael had contacted them with news of his treachery, their immediate reaction had been to call the steward for Michaela's lands.

Aegaeon was an Ancient, his idea of judgment and justice very different from that of the Archangel who was holding Alyss. The young accountant was entirely unaware that Raphael had flatly refused to execute him; further, he’d refused to give Aegaeon access to Alyss, calling his motives suspect – a very reasonable accusation but one that had further inflamed the Ancient’s temper. Aegaeon had demanded access by proxy; Raphael, for the sake of diplomacy, had agreed. By the time someone had realized the vampire had been sent to savage Alyss’ wings so he couldn’t escape, the damage had been done. It had been another good reason to move the young angel to the Refuge, under the watch of someone less entangled than the two Archangels.

The man returned, combat boots coming into Alyss' line of sight a moment before he crouched down. He was an older man, powerfully built, some salt in the close-cropped pepper of his hair. He had a square face and seemed to find nothing particularly enthusing about the world around him. He wore urban fatigues and was one of a dozen men and woman settled at regular intervals around the angel. Not a vampire; there were no vampires on the massive cargo plane. Raphael would not risk potential sympathizers helping Alyss escape.

Which meant, the young angel knew, that there were sympathizers. That others knew the system was broken, and since no one who could was stepping up to fix it, Alyss had. And so they'd come to this impasse. It was a small relief, to know the pipeline would survive, that others would pick up the fight. It was terrifying to think that it would do so without him. And it was heartbreaking to know that, where he was going, he was alone.

"Not gonna die on us, are you?" the man asked.

"Oh, is that an option? I didn't realize," Alyss replied wearily.

The man chuckled a bit. "You've got heart to spare, angel, I'll give you that."

"No, no. I'm a coward. Very much not a fighter, me. If I were I wouldn't be here."

"If you were you'd still be here," the man clarified ruthlessly, but without malice. "Just in more pieces."

Alyss couldn't deny that. "Is it very long to the Refuge?" he asked. "No offense, I'm sure your plane is very nice but it's rattling my bones right out of me."

"You don't run out of manners, do you." The man shifted a little. "A few hours still." When his prisoner moaned, he couldn't help a little grin. "Want that water?"

"Do you have a blanket?"

One brow went up. "You're cold? I thought angels didn't get cold."

"Someone neglected to pass that memo along," Alyss said tiredly. "But I think I'll take the water, thank you."

After that, under a plain and scratchy blanket, he dozed, exhaustion making up for comfort. He snapped awake a few times, when the ragged places where the vampire's knife had gone right into the meat of the wing smacked into the plane's structure, but otherwise Alyss slept, his nightmares full of words he didn't want to hear and couldn't escape.

Do you trust me?

I thought I could!

The landing roused him to a panic, and his heart was still beating a harried march when he was escorted out of the plane. There were people waiting for him on the ground, none of whom he recognized. An angel, red-winged and dark-eyed, gasped when he saw Alyss. "What did you do to his wings?!"

"Us, nothing. This was done on orders of Archangel Aegaeon back in New York. He sent one of his own people to do it, too. Forbade any sort of medical attention to be tendered." The man who'd offered water, a blanket and a bit of kind conversation, offered the angel the transfer documentation. "Take it up with him, god knows I want to."

The angel yanked away the paperwork, scowling. Alyss was taken, on winding and well-hidden paths, back to the only place that had even come close to being a home, though it had never fully felt like one. No place ever had, not until Maine. Not until the lodge.

No place anymore.

He walked until he nearly fell, light-headed with pain and exhaustion. Someone caught him and he mumbled an apology. He was carried to a spare, empty room, and he frowned at the open balcony of it, trying to figure out why his mind balked at it. It took his weary, aching brain a long time to figure out why: the view was completely unfamiliar. "This isn't Michaela's ward."

"No," the red-winged angel replied, his expression guarded. "It's Elijah’s."

Alyss couldn't even begin to figure that answer out, and he shook his head against the tide of questions. He regretted the gesture immediately. "May I have water, please?" He gripped his temples, trying to convince the pain to go away. "To wash up."

The red-winged angel hesitated visibly. On the one hand Aegaeon's dictum left no room for doubt: he'd commanded no succor of any kind be offered to the traitor. On the other hand the young angel looked like someone had gone at him with a hacksaw. It hurt Mateo to even look at him. Add to that the fact that no one was entirely clear on who the young angel looked to. Yes, his parents in theory dwelt with and answered to the Archangel of Central Europe, but neither they nor Alyss had ever sworn such a vow regarding the young angel’s service. And with Michaela in anshara still, Aegaeon was enforcing his will based on rights-by-proxy that were in and of themselves coasting on parentage, not actual fealty. On the other hand Alyss' crimes, if they could be proved, had mostly happened within Raphael's territory. The Archangel of North America had already contested before the Council Aegaeon's right to summarily pass judgment on Alyss. The ensuing squabble was another reason neither of them was holding onto Alyss. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you," Alyss said. There was a shelf, wooden and bare, affixed to the wall on one side of the room. Otherwise there was nothing. It had been darkened and polished by age and use, and Alyss laid down on it and slept. There seemed to be little else he could do, and in the dreamless darkness Jean's accusing words and the doubt in his green gaze couldn't chase after the angel and break his heart a little more.

He woke up to very quiet, gentle whispers. He turned on the shelf, banged one of his battered wings on it, and fell right off with a cry of pain.

"Alyss!" It was a familiar voice, that much he knew at the moment, but everything else was a wash of white, ringing noise. Strong arms picked him up, helped him sit on the shelf.

"Sorry, sorry," he muttered inanely. "I must look a fright, I'm sorry."

"What you look like, that's what worries you?"the same familiar voice asked in disbelief, and Alyss finally roused out of pain and shock to recognize it.

He looked up into eyes of of violet and indigo to match the angel's wings. "Kliman!"

"Oh, sweet child." When he clung to her, the old angel wrapped her arms around him and held him tight, rocking him lightly as he wept like a youngling. "Oh, shh, shh. It's alright. It's alright."

Once the storm of his emotions was spent, Alyss pulled away, rubbing fretfully at his face. "Ah, yes. You put me in a little bit of trouble and I turn into a toddler once again."

"All things considered, I think you're allowed," Kliman told him dryly, taking his hands in both of hers and cradling them close. "You'll be alright, Alyss. I'll make sure of it."

"I forgt you were here in the Refuge," he said tiredly. "And if they start asking questions... Maybe you should leave. Or Sleep. Everything else is safe, it's just me on the line. So that's alright."

"That is absolutely not alright," Kliman told him sharply. "What happened to your wings?"

"Oh, my parents look to Archangel Michaela. And I never took an oath to any Archangel, any Court, so with her gone, um... When Raphael followed up with my parents I guess they called Aegaeon. He decided if I couldn't be killed out of hand I was a flight risk. How did you even know I was here? How did you find me?"

"Alyss, everyone knows you're here. I don't know who leaked the story out but you've torn us in two. I never would have thought so many angels would be on our side; I always thought I was a rarity, as were you. As for how I got to you," she glanced to the other angel in the room. "I asked an old friend for help."

Alyss turned to look at the other angel, and gasped. She'd kept as much distance between herself and them as she could, giving them what little privacy a few steps could afford. But angel or not she was unmistakable, the indigo wings shimmering when she moved, the rich gold of her eyes startling in a face so delicate it seemed spun glass, tinier even than Alyss himself. Sputtering something unintelligible between a greeting and an apology Alyss tried to stand up and bow, simultaneously. Bereft of the counterbalance of his plumage and entirely unable to do so many things at the same time, he nearly went down on his face.

The two angels caught him. "Child, one angel does not bow to another. We hardly even bow to Archangels."

"My lady Hummingbird, if I don't bow to you there's no one to bow to," Alyss stammered.

Sharine offered him a wry little smile. "Do you know me or of me, young one?"

"Doesn't everyone know of you? What are they even teaching children these days?" he protested wanly as they led him back to the bench.

"Ah, I'm sure they're learning all sorts of things and having all sorts of adventures, as one should at that age, but I'm not a creature of the Refuge these days. Now." She sat before him on the shelf, catching his hands in hers. "Kili brought a few things she thought you might need -"

"… Kili?"

"- and she's going to clean your wings."

"But Archangel Aegaeon said -"

"I don't care," Sharine said with rather more energy than Alyss expected of anyone with the Hummingbird's reputation, "what Aegaeon said. He is not your Archangel. She's going to clean your wings, and if he doesn't like it he can bite my whole ass."

From the look Kliman was giving her it was obvious to Alyss this was very un-Hummingbird language, too. Sharine beamed at them both. "I've made new friends since I took charge of Lumia. They're quite delightful. They’re teaching me all sorts of exciting things. In any case. She's going to clean your wings, and to distract you from it you're going to tell me everything."

Alyss looked at Kliman over one shoulder, and the angel nodded at him. Alyss turned to face the Hummingbird and drew in a deep breath. "I never meant to be anyone important," he began.

19

Alyss would have been mortified to know that some very important people were discussing him and his work that day and night. A little pleased, perhaps, to know that a few of them agreed with him. But mostly mortified.

Raphael's compound was still reeling from the shouting match between him and his Consort, even though it had happened electronically. Titus, who'd been content to remain neutral on the matter, had grown increasingly less so after hearing from the Hummingbird. Aegaeon had made no friends among the Cadre with his outdated beliefs, even less with his behavior, and though no one could fault him for passing judgment, no one approved of the way he’d gone about it. The rest of the Council had not had much interest in the matter until details had begun to surface, questions begging to be answered, facts to be acknowledged. Too many of them were Ancient, yes, but none of them were the sort to hide from the truth. Or to take kindly to others trying to hide that truth from them.

"We've bought a little time," Hannah told Sharine and Kliman when they met in a small den in Elijah's compound, a room appointed for small, cozy meetings and for lingering over a good book next to the vast, sunny windows cut into the stone. "But the Council's very torn. They don't want to hear him out." She spread her hands. "Elijah pointed out that it would be different if they were Archangels of our time. But too many Ancients sit at Council. In their time the cruelty your young man helps the vampires escape would have simply been their lot."

"Caliane has voted to hear him out," Kliman protested.

"Caliane has private reasons for wanting to hear him out. As does, I suspect, Raphael," the Hummingbird told her gently before turning to Hannah. " And Titus tells me Alexander is torn. He was never once for casual cruelty. He never saw a problem with how vampires were handled, but I don't think he realized the sheer scope of the problem. I don't think most of the Ancients do. The world was a much smaller place when they were awake last. He and Zanaya have asked Titus for advice, and I think they will vote to listen."

"If they do, that would be a majority vote. But we won’t know until they do." Kliman rubbed her face angrily, shoving her pale blond hair back. "Well, if you'll excuse me, and against everything we're hoping to achieve here, I'm going to go punch a vampire." When Hannah gasped a little Kliman told her tartly, "Oh, believe me, he earned it." She stalked out of the room.

Sharine gave Hannah a timid, wary look. "Elena?"

"Incredibly angry. She's taking this as a personal offense against her, against the Guild." When the Hummingbird made a tiny, unhappy sound, Hannah sat by her. "This is the crest of her emotions, Sharine. She will move past it. She might not want to, but she will listen to what Alyss has to say. And his story speaks volumes."

"He's just one voice, though." The Hummingbird tapped the tips of her fingers to her chin, looking thoughtful. "Do you think... Could we possibly... How hard would it be to give him allies?"

Hannah's eyes went very wide when she understood. "I think we lose nothing by trying. What did you have in mind?"

Sharine smiled. “I know just the person.”

Kliman, meanwhile, barged into her own quarters within Raphael's ward. She knew she was incredibly lucky that the Archangel was not looking at her too closely; she didn't know if it was kindness or indulgence but she also knew it wasn't going to last. Alyss might not give her away by name, but his association with her was very likely to damn her.

At the moment she wasn't overly concerned with that. She was very, very concerned with the fact that the young angel's heart was broken and bleeding worse than his wings had been. Aegaeon's man had known exactly what he was doing: the damage was not enough to merit amputation and regrowth, but just enough to make recovery painful and long.

She couldn't punch the Archangel.

She could absolutely punch Jean.

Long, angry steps carried her into the inner chamber where her tiny court was waiting for news. Everyone sprang to their feet as soon as she threw the door open, but by then she was already before Jean. Her arm shot out, her fist connected with his jaw and he staggered back, tripped on a knotted rug, and went down.

"You neglected to mention a few things from your last meeting with Alyss," Kliman growled at him.

"Kliman -" Gevaun began.

"Oh, bugger his delicate sensibilities!" she snapped. "No one here could be soft on him even though he deserved it. He bought kindness with each and every one of those scars, I absolutely agree. And none of us could give it to him, none of us were in a place where we could give it to him. And then, when he finally finds someone who can, who does," she whirled around to glare at the fallen vampire, "you can't even be bothered to trust him?!"

Jean's stunned expression went to shame. "I don't have an excuse," he strangled out.

"Find one!" she shouted at him. "Because the idiot down there still loves you! Still trusts you!"

"Oh, god, no." Jean sat up and buried his face in his hands. "No, he can't."

"He does. And he's hurting so bad it makes me wanna wring your neck."

"I just... I heard him say one thing and it all went wrong from there. I've always known he's not a fighter, that I'd be the one to do all the fighting for him. So I thought..." Jean couldn't catch his breath. He didn't even feel the sting of the punch; everything else hurt too bad. Worst of all was the knowledge that he'd failed after all. "The only reason angels leave is when they're running," he managed to say at last.

"I bloody wish he'd run!" Kliman's wings worked restlessly with her anger. "Evie asked him to run! He knew they'd tear the pipeline apart looking for him if he did. He chose to stay, and they might well kill him for it!" Her voice broke. "They might kill him!" Gevaun caught her then, and though she swatted him angrily for the daring, in the end she clung to him. "Gev, they're gonna kill the little goldfinch," she wept.

He kissed her forehead and held her, knowing better than to lie to her for the sake of empty comfort.

Jean ran his hands through his hair, the words hammering against his skull, against his heart. He could feel his heart beginning to gallop in a familiar, erratic pattern in his chest, he could feel his nightmares rousing, trying to drown him in darkness. The vampire found he didn't care. What, out of all his memories, could be worse than knowing Alyss was dead and he hadn't stopped it?

The voices of his past turned into unintelligible whispers and faded to a background, dim hush. He felt someone draw close and didn't have the energy to flinch. Lilah crouched by his side. "I can't do anything, can I?" His voice was lost, his face haunted. "I can't do anything to help him."

"I don't honestly know," she admitted. "But I'm not giving up just yet. Are you?"

"No," Jean stared sightlessly at the room all around him. "No, I'm not. You tell me what you need, Lil, and I'll do it." He gave her a hollow, wounded look. "No matter what it is."

"It won't come to that," she assured him.

"Can I see him? Please. Just to apologize, just to tell him that I was wrong, just to -."

"Oh, like you're the only asking that question," Kliman said dryly when Lilah was distracted by a ping on her phone. "Half of the Refuge wants to see him. The other half isn't asking because they're not here yet."

"Did he really say that he... That he..." Jean couldn't get the words out.

"Say it? No. He didn't have to." She reached into a pocket of her comfortable pants and offered him a single feather, no bigger than her palm. Though it wasn't the real thing, it was flawlessly amber-colored, only the tip dipped in blood already dry. "He sent this for you instead."

[darthjader2005]

Happy Valentines Day (Cloud Strife x Female Reader)

"So, what are you and Cloud gonna do for tomorrow?", Tifa asked as she cleaned the bar, well, as much as she could since my head was down on the bar.

"Tomorrow? What's tomorrow?", I ask.

"Valentines Day, wait, you forgot?!", Tifa laughed.

"No! I just... haven't thought about it much...", I say.

"You forgot.", Tifa corrected.

"Yes...", I sigh.

"Do you think Cloud forgot too?", Tifa wondered.

"Maybe. He does have a lot of stuff going on.", I say.

"True. But still, the boy could be a little more romantic towards you.", Tifa giggled.

"I don't mind. I'm not a very romantic person myself.", I say.

"Yeah right, if Cloud pulled all that romantic stuff on you, you'd be giggling like a school girl. If you know what I mean.", Tifa said, wiggling her eyebrows.

"*Sigh* You know best...", I smile small.

"Yep, that's for sure.", Tifa laughed, stepping outback leaving me alone in the bar.

The entry doors to the bar open behind me, my curiosity is telling me to look but I just didn't feel like it.

"Hey.", someone said as they hugged me from behind.

"Hey Cloud, how was your deliveries?", I greet, my face brightening up to the presence of him.

"Eh, it was alright. It would be better if you tagged along.", he said before placing a kiss on my neck.

"I'll go on the next round with you. Got any deliveries to make tomorrow?", I ask, laughing a bit.

"No, I'm actually taking the day off tomorrow. I have plans.", he said, resting his head on top of mine.

"Plans? What kind of plans?", I ask, wondering if it has to do with Valentines.

"You'll see.", he chuckles.

"I'm beat though. It's been a long day, let's go home and go to bed.", he says, grabbing my hand.

"Yeah. Geez, look at the time. Its 10:34 (pm). See ya later Tifa!", I say before hollering out to Tifa.

"Okay Y/N! See ya! Bye Cloud!", Tifa hollers from outback. I swear she has a radar, she can tell who's here without even looking.

We head home and crawl into bed. He hugs me close as we drift to sleep.

~The Next Morning~

"Y/N, wake up.", Cloud says softly, gently shaking me awake.

"Huh? What time is it?", I ask, half asleep.

"8:30 (am).", he answered.

"Geez, I slept in more than I usually do.", I say, rubbing my eyes.

"You needed it.", he smiles warmly.

"Yeah, I suppose I did.", I giggle.

"Oh, I uh... got you these. I hope you like them.", he says, handing me a bouquet of roses that he was hiding behind his back.

"Oh, they're beautiful Cloud! Thank you!", I say hugging him.

"Heh, I'm glad you like them.", he smiles.

"I have something to do today. Be ready by 8:00 (pm) sharp. I'll pick you up at 7th Heaven.", he instructs, kissing the top of my head.

"Okay. I suppose your not gonna tell me what you have to do.", I say, smiling.

"Nope, that would ruin the surprise.", he says.

"Well, come here. At least let me give you a real kiss.", I giggle, pulling him in and kiss him on the lips.

"I'll see you later.", he smiles, inches from my face.

"Okay, love you.", I smile.

"Love you too, bye.", he says, going out the door. I lay in bed for a few more minutes, giggling like a school girl. Gosh, Tifa was right... she really does know best haha.

~Timeskip to 8:00 (pm)~

"Aww, he's so romantic. I wonder what he has planned. Do you think it's dirty?", Tifa wondered out loud, causing me to laugh.

"Tifa! I doubt it.", I giggle.

The doors to the bar open.

"You ready?", Cloud asked.

"Yes.", I smile, walking to him.

"See ya Tifa!", I wave to her.

"Have fun you two!", she smiles, winking at me.

I get on his motorcycle behind him, holding onto his waist.

"You good?", he asks.

"Yep.", I say, resting my head on his back as he drives off.

~Timeskip (a small one)~

We arrive at a small clearing, surrounded by trees at the edge. But that's not what caught my eye. It was the sky, it's so beautiful. Like a cosmic world you could get lost in.

Cloud grabs blankets from the back of his motorcycle, as there is a bit of a chill in the air. It is February after all.

"So, what do you think?", he asks.

"It's beautiful! I love it!", I marvel at the sky above.

"More beautiful than the roses?", he smiles.

"Yes!", I say hugging him.

He lays a blanket on the ground for us to lay on. Then he puts the other blanket around us as we cuddled together. Watching the sky.

"I had to time this right. I was kinda worried the weather was gonna fail me by covering this with clouds, but it turned out perfect.", he states.

"It is perfect, but it wouldn't be perfect without you. I love you Cloud.", I say.

"Same, I love you too Y/N.", he says, kissing me.

"Happy Valentines Day.", he smiles.

"Tifa suggested yesterday that you forgot.", I giggle.

"How could I, she's been on my ass for the past week.", he chuckles.

"That's okay, I'm not gonna lie, I forgot.", I laugh.

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean we only can do this on Valentines Day. I suppose I could be a bit more romantic.", he chuckles.

"Just a bit though, I don't want you getting to soft on me.", I laugh.

"Right.", he kisses me again.

[new-royston-cursebreakers]

Get to Know My OC

I'm so honored that @gummybugg tagged me in this! I love these kinds of things, and I'll take any excuse to answer questions about/from the POV of my OCs! Even if it takes me a week; sorry about that ^^; find @gummybugg's post here and I'll be tagging @moondust-bard and @sunnyanddumb98 with no pressure of course!

I choose Cricket! Specifically, Cricket a week before the book begins!

I hold my hand close to the floor, allowing Cricket Collins, a young boy standing only about eleven inches tall, to hop up into my palm. Smiling down at him, I gently move him up to a desk, where a plush chair sized for him has been placed. He hops off my hand and trots over to the chair, plopping down, snuggling in, and pulling his brown jacket a bit tighter around himself. He’s dressed in multiple layers, since he doesn’t generate as much body heat being so small, and his fluffy brown hair’s combed back neatly.

“Are you ready to start the interview, Cricket?” I ask.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he shrugs, but his smile gives away his excitement.

1. Are you named after anyone?

“My first name, Adam, doesn’t really come from anyone, my parents just liked it. But my Jewish name is Mordechai, from the Scroll of Esther! Oh, and a couple other Mordechais, too—my parents told me…I think one of them led a rebellion in the Holocaust…? Oh, and another—I remember him, Mordechai Vanunu…right? I dunno, it was a lot to take in when my parents were telling me about it.”

2. When was the last time you cried?

Cricket hesitates for a moment before answering. At a subtle nod from me, he takes a deep breath and speaks.

“Last time was, well, when I was cutting onions for bigos,” he chuckles. “But the last time I actually, like, sad-cried? It was…the day after my parents left. I went into their old room and laid down in their bed and just cried. I must’ve cried the whole day. I was so dizzy when I got back up! Anyway, I closed that door and I haven’t gone in there since, just to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

3. Do you have kids?

Cricket laughs, gazing up at me with a twinkle in his eye. “I’m fourteen! Ask me again in ten years!”

4. Do you use sarcasm?

“I mean, maybe sometimes.” He shrugs. “I’m not too good at it. At using it or picking up on it. Why say things that aren’t true?”

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

“Usually what they’re doing, I guess? I try not to judge people by their looks too much.”

6. What's your eye color?

“Brown.”

“What color brown?” I prompt.

“Darker than my skin or my hair,” Cricket says. “Real dark.”

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

“Oh, happy endings, definitely! I don’t like it when it’s just a bunch of bad things happening and then the story ends, y’know? There’s always gotta be a way to move forward!”

8. Any special talents?

“Well, Auster says I have a talent for making friends, but anyone can do that, y’know? Here’s the talent I’m really proud of!”

He works up some spit in his mouth, takes a deep breath, and emits a long, shrill cricket chirp. Grinning, he continues.

“Pretty cool, huh? I’ve even attracted some field crickets to the yard before!”

9. Where were you born?

“I was born right here in New Royston! Neither of my parents were, but I was, and I’ve never known any other home.” He seems quite proud of this.

10. What are your hobbies?

“I don’t have a lot of them. I’m usually pretty busy just making sure the house is okay, making food, stuff like that. Sometimes I go help out on the Fitzhenrys’ bug farm, sometimes I just go hang out with friends. I’m content with that.”

11. Have you any pets?

“No, but I’ve always wanted to get myself some kind of pet bug! Maybe a tailless whip scorpion, or a Madagascar hissing cockroach, or some kind of rhino beetle! If I were bigger, I’d definitely want more than one, but right now, I think I could barely handle one!” 

12. What sports do you play/have played?

“There aren’t a lot of sports you can play in New Royston, thanks to the whole size thing. Our high school doesn’t even have any sports! But I did like playing capture the flag in elementary school at recess.”

13. How tall are you?

“Last time I checked, I’m eleven inches and three quarters! I’ve been getting bigger with my parents saving up money. As for my real height, I, uh…well, I dunno. I’ve never been outside of New Royston’s borders before…”

14. Favorite subject in school?

“I like science—I like learning about the world. And even with stuff like chemistry and physics that use a lot of math, it’s math that I can apply to the real world, so I understand it a lot better than ‘real’ math classes. I think my favorite is biology, though.”

15. Dream job?

“Definitely an entomologist. I’d love to be one of those people that takes care of bugs and shows them off in shows and teaches people about them. Bugs can be so cool and helpful, and it’s just a shame that so many people are scared of them!”

With the interview done, I offer my hand to help Cricket off the desk, but he doesn’t take it. Instead, he chirps “Watch this!” and heads over to the edge of the desk, pacing along it, gazing down at the ground as a cat would before it jumps. Then, he vaults off the desk, flipping himself over midair and landing on his shoulder blade, somersaulting into a standing position.

“Wish me luck at school next week!” He calls, waving and darting away.

[leafened]

do read mores only work if you put text above them

we had a small black cat that was maybe a god taking some time off to be a cat

we found it as a 8-10 week old kitten in a garbage can at a mcdonalds having fire crackers thrown at it by kids, calm and totally willing to be handled. its tail had been cut off some time prior and it had huge oversized legs like a rabbit and so came to be known as little bun. we thought it would grow into the legs and it did grow a little but never to a full size. it was almost teenage kitten sized, or more specifically, rabbit sized

it was never scared of people despite having been tortured as a kitten. would let you pick it up/pet it/otherwise treat it like a cat but would look bored and disappointed until you felt embarrassed and stopped. the one time we tried to give it a bath, it used its back legs to completely shred everyone - all the roommates teamed together to try (it had gotten into something nasty, can't remember what) but we physically could not manage it

two times seemed to threaten me directly - once when it had gotten into the garbage in search of leftovers, i was making fun of it for not being able to meow/said something like 'maybe we'd know when you want food if you'd deign to speak to us' 'little bun is too good to meow like a cat' and it hopped up on the sewing table i fed the cats on, looked me dead in the eyes and said "Me-ow" in a very loud very deep voice. only time it ever meowed

second time i said something about how i could beat it in a fight when we were talking about how intimidating it was. it ran across the room and scaled the recliner i was sitting on, clung to the backrest of the chair, and leaned over so its eyes were an inch in front of mine and just stared

both incidents were so uncanny

and it treated the other cats exactly as it did us -- it would indulge them and let them groom its ears etc but never actually played with them and would "correct" them if they ever tried in earnest

its main activity was getting up in a high spot and listening to us talk. like it would look at whoever was speaking, keeping tabs on the flow of conversation

then one day it just left and our roommate saw it a couple years later in a neighbor's yard and it ignored him...