#was still connected to him being somewhat manic at the time

[bipolarediaz]

hello! I'd love to know more about specific moments that convinced you that eddie is bipolar

so if you don't mind me asking, what are three moments that really stand out to you?

hi hello I love this so much, I've been thinking about this all morning, thank you!!

a lot of it isn't specific moments but more the combination of things that build up over time, but if I had to pick three specific things (not necessarily in order)...

eddie begins--a lot of the flashbacks we see definitely give me hints of it. specifically, we have a very clearly depressed eddie after he comes back to el paso, with him struggling to connect with his loved ones, withdrawing into himself even more than usual. he doesn't smile much in the flashbacks, at least not other than when chris is born. but then, we come to the present during that episode, and we see eddie making impulsive decisions (insisting that he go down in the first place, then cutting his line, naming buck as guardian the next day without thinking about it or talking to buck first, etc) it's not as bad as the impulsive decisions from earlier in s3, but I do think that he was at the tail end of his manic episode at that point in the season, and was still making impulsive decisions because of it. the contrast between depressed past eddie and somewhat manic/hypomanic present-day eddie is a good example of both sides.

also from s3, we have not just the fact that eddie joined a cage fighting ring, but also specifically the way that it ends. he is, once again, not thinking through his actions in the slightest. he has all this pent up energy and all these feelings he doesn't know how to manage, and he literally doesn't know how to stop himself. he's like an impending train crash. in the dsm, this particular symptom is described specifically as "Excessive involvement in activities that have a high potential for painful consequences." and that's exactly what's happening. it's excessive, it's something he can't control, and it's causing him actual serious pain and negatively impacting his life. but even though it's negatively impacting it, he doesn't stop. you see this kind of thing a lot in bipolar in excessive spending or gambling, hypersexuality, etc, but it's no different in this situation. he goes completely over the top with it, completely uncaring about the impending consequences. it also leans a bit into grandiosity, with him thinking, at least a little bit, that he is untouchable during this time. and everyone in his life notices it, even if he brushes them off when they try to bring it up. he's noticeably different from normal, in so many ways, that it's impossible to ignore.

and, of course, I've talked before about just how much 5x11 and 5x13 in particular give me those vibes. he's displaying almost every sign of a major depressive episode with mixed features throughout those tow episodes. he's irritable, he's restless, he makes impulsive decisions without thinking about the consequences, all things that we see during his fight with bobby in particular and during the opening montage. but he's also depressed--he's fatigued, he's feeling completely hopeless and worthless, he isn't finding joy in his life anymore, he's isolating himself just like he did back after his tours, and we see hints of suicidal thoughts as well. we've seen all these symptoms from him before, between flashbacks and s3 (and 5a honestly), it's just that now he's got symptoms of both sides of it at the same time, and that's why it hits him so hard when he breaks down. his depression in particular is just so noticeable during 5b, with everyone in his life commenting on it, and there's just no way of denying that he was severely depressed.

bonus reason because I'm never going to be over how much of a missed opportunity it was: in fear-o-phobia, we have that woman through the whole episode who is set up as a clear parallel to eddie, to the point that he intentionally listens in on the call and notices it himself. and the way they do it... is by basically going through every single symptom of bipolar disorder like it's a goddamn checklist, with her sister even saying how much she's "changed" with her acting the way that she was. and then they just... didn't do it. I'm still annoyed by it and I will be forever, thank you.

even with this I feel like I went beyond just "specific moments" lmao, but honestly that's just how it is--if it's just one or two specific moments, that doesn't really indicate anything when it comes to bipolar disorder. it's about persistent mood changes that are noticeably different from your normal, and about sustained changes. it's the long-term arc and the ups and downs eddie's gone through since s2, and the way that things piled up and changed over time, the clear differences we see in how he acts at various points in his life that indicate there's a lot more going on than just normal level mood fluctuations that everyone experiences.

[samijey]

Something I’ve not seen a lot of people talk about is what losing the belts will mean for Roman, what will happen to him and how will he react.

My theory is he’s going to have some sort of fear induced psychotic melt down with a lot of casualties. I noticed that Roman’s fear response is to curl in on himself and hide his face while grabbing his hair as if trying to be smaller. We’ve seen this happen in the Cody match after one of the kick outs and most notably right after Sami’s chair shot at RR (there are a few extra angles from actual attendees that show it clearly, as well as Solo checking on him).

He also seems almost manic in these matches as well and doesn’t shy away from violating his alleged principles (he talks about caring for his family, even using them to justify his behavior all the while taunting his opponent’s family members with their husbands/fathers beaten body)

I wonder if this weird manic anxiety is because of the oft referenced elders, fear over becoming unloved by the fans or something else.

I’m sorry for this massive CHUNK of an ask but I’d love to hear your take on this.

Roman is such a deeply layered character and I love the fact that the writers didn't simply wipe his slate clean when he returned as a heel - the Shield connection is very much still present in the Tribal Chief persona and you could argue that Seth's betrayal is still the key moment that has lead to Roman being what he is now.

I think Sami pulling the trigger at the Rumble and hitting him with that chair, mirroring Seth in 2014, was the last drop that sent Roman off the deep end in terms of paranoia and his line to Solo as the show closed was a big indicator of that: "We're at war now, Solo // We take no prisoners now." In his head, Roman put his guard down and allowed someone outside his family (the people he keeps firmly under his thumb because he has power over) to get close to him and Sami "betrayed him" in the worst possible way not only by using a chair like Seth had but by "taking" Jey away from the family - I don't think that brief moment of Roman sitting to the side looking heartbroken and regaining his composure after the chair shot at RR was an accident - he sold it like he REALLY was shocked and hurt, which says a lot about the layers of delusion, insecurity and lack of self-awareness that make up the character of the Tribal Chief.

To your point - the titles have a somewhat irregular time in the spotlight - they were an afterthought in Roman's feud with Sami because Sami never really wanted the titles and only came for them as a way to get revenge on Roman and destroy his influence over the rest of the Bloodline. The titles were the means to an end, not the end itself. With Cody, the titles were the main point but the narrative became a bit muddled, given that Cody's goal is to win the WWE Championship specifically, so the unified title Roman currently carries isn't a perfect fit for the story - I could rant for 3 years about how much WWE should've separated the belts by now (or alternatively merged them into a single belt, the WWE championship, and create a new top belt for RAW) but no one wants to hear that!

Roman's influence is inseparable from the titles - he's carried those belts for so long now that it's become impossible to imagine his current character without them. I have no idea of who will beat Roman - it might still be Cody (if he beats Brock at Backlash, we're almost sure to get a title rematch at Summerslam) but I'm not expecting Roman to go ballistic on the person who takes the titles from him - I'm expecting him to take his anger out on his own family. I do want to see Roman react badly to the loss and go through a complete identity crisis. If the Bloodline is somehow still intact at that point in the story, Roman losing the belts HAS to jump-start a complete implosion in the group.

This Roman isn't a character who is confident in himself - he doesn't believe his own value. Constantly asking fans and peers to acknowledge him? Insecurity. Having the Bloodline constantly interfere in his matches? Insecurity. Going off on his own family over any perceived disrespect? Insecurity. Isolating Solo from his brothers the second Solo shows signs of independent thinking? Insecurity. Seeing betrayal in Sami's eyes at WarGames when there was nothing there? INSECURITY.

Something I do want to point out was how meaningful it was for Roman to give Jey the chair at Elimination Chamber, followed by very deliberately turning his back on him - Roman wasn't being naive and leaving himself open accidentally - was very much goading Jey into taking the shot because he knew it was a win-win situation regardless of what happened - either Jey would take the shot and prove Roman's paranoia and distrust right or he'd hit Sami and prove himself loyal to the family once again. The fact that Jey did neither just adds to how tragic his situation is for someone who had such a perfect opportunity to set himself free but couldn't bring himself to do it in time. I still believe Jey is the best narrative choice to take the belts from Roman but with each passing week that seems less and less likely and it makes me cry.

So yeah, Roman losing the titles has to be big and it has to lead to a radical shift in his character - I only fear that he'll be off TV for a long time immediately after losing and the story will once again lose steam. We're seeing this effect right now where the hype leading into mania has evaporated within weeks because all the developments we now want to see NEED Roman to be there yet he's nowhere to be seen and will probably only come back shortly before Night of Champions to set up a nothing title match for the Saudi show.

Roman losing the titles has the potential to send his character into a self-destructive spiral that he has to overcome, eventually leading to a nice story of redemption where he FINALLY ends up as the top babyface WWE always wanted him to be. Do I trust WWE to do any of this right thought? No.

[tristayranambrosio]

Six

Six weeks… Six weeks and I already feel something new, like heart flickers of starlight resonating on the edge of my comprehension. Everything is so much more intense, like I my void touched self at all times… all hours. Is that why it's so exhausting? But also so energizing? I’m still fuming too, angry one moment then forlorn and torn apart with hurt and the sensation of being inadequate in the worst ways… I look in the mirror and most days I see a stranger… or maybe a relative that was too close to my likeness to find her attractive… She looks at me, tired, and clingy, and nauseous… a burden… I hum a shaky tired tune before I can let them get to me, flood my thoughts with reminders that nothing has changed, ‘with child or not I’ve always been a burden’. The tune is aimless and frazzled, not real music. But it does the job. I brace myself on the edge of the washbasin of deep amethyst and silver accents trying to fight down the urge to dry heave into the beautiful bowl in Leo’s ensuite…. Our ensuite. The woman who looks back at me looks pale, for me at least, and slightly green at her cheeks and ears. My Husband is in no state to hold back my hair and stroke my back… the anger surges back at that reminder… I know he’d be here if he could be. Besides if he knew he’d blame himself, no matter that my mornings were now all too often were spent over a sink or toilet, he’d think this only started since… Stop… stop being angry. Its done… its. Done. “So why do I feel so guilty?” I ask the woman in the mirror who looks just as torn as I am… looking like she might cry or puke again, seemed like that kind of day. She never answers, just looks at -me- as if I owe her an answer… sad eyes… why are my eyes always so sad? People prefer me smiling. She smiles back at me but I see the crack in the composure; it's in her eyes, somewhat manic rather than lit with joy. She tries again this time it’s too many teeth in the smile… next it's the twitch in her brow… then it's the fact she’s hurling the contents of her stomach up in the purple basin staining it a transparent green of burning acid bile. I cough and sputter then wash the fluid down the sink hating it… and myself. I’m such a selfish ass sometimes, so consumed with my own problems when my Mate can’t even walk… what is -wrong- with me?! Now I stare an accusation in the mirror… but the glare withers and my hand goes to my stomach feeling something so near imperceptible…  But there… Its a blip. A tiny… quivering flickering twinkle of a feeling. I whisper, “Hey there… is everything okay little star? I’m sorry your Mommy’s such a mess.” I sink to the black tile floor and curl in trying to listen, hear… they’re too small… most medics clerics doctors… wouldn’t even consider Six weeks long enough to be more than a tiny shrimp or something -if- that let alone someone, a person, I could ask what was wrong… What’s wrong? “So many things baby… but none of them are because of you. You’re gonna make a lot of them better when I get to meet you. You’re worth feeling like this… I know you don’t believe me right now, but you are.” I cradled myself for a moment, rocking slowly back and forth, until the world stopped spinning and murmured, “You’re going to love your big sisters and brothers… they’ve all been so excited… so is your Daddy. He’ll be better soon and he’ll whisper all the beautiful words I never have…” I love you…

That broke me some, “I-I love you too my little star… I promise Mommy will be better. Strong.” I pushed Myself to standing and faced the woman in the mirror addressing her, scrubbing tears from her face and huffing with frustration at how easily they came even for -her- And cleared her throat, “You. Need a midwife, and a Magus. Luckily you are a well connected bard that knows MANY of those specialists. No more moping, we're going to be productive.” I squared my shoulders and returned to bed beside my Husband, being careful not to disturb him or even risk touching him while he Recovered. I won't risk his sleep... and quietly safe guard it while the wounds heal... And I feel the life inside me grow. 

[he11swinter]

First off, Hello I am Rae, how is your day? Or Noon? Or Night? Hi~! :3

I always pictured the while 12 ghosts being a somewhat "found family" type of friendship / maybe romance if things happened. Like make Isabella upset you'll get the full wrath of Susan's teenage queen bee whiplashes until you start crying before she could even do anything. Or make Billy or Harold cry you're getting a baseball bat or madman claws to the face I feel as if each one's "moment" of feeling this way to the ghosts are different and either funny of angsty (aka any time Ryan would feel not murder craze to any of them let alone any of the girls)

But I feel like one is agreed the most: Jean is the mom of the group. She's a mother figure to pretty much all or a common ground of "welp we're the most mature out of everyone here" with George or Margret So this like SUPER angsty and a bit too sad maybe, I'll ask a bright ask another time to cheer things up or share my own thoughts, but what are you headcanons or thoughts of the ghosts when Jean pass over?

I mainly ask cause I saw a fic where Ryan watched her cross over after the house exploded and felt sad and got all emo debating if he'll even be welcomed to Heaven or whereever Jean went

Hi Rae! I’m great, thank you, and I hope you are too! Thank you for your awesome questions, they really had me thinking, so I wrote a lot more than I thought I would. 🫢 I would love to hear more of your thoughts, and that fic certainly sounds interesting if you have the link.

The Black Zodiac could be a found family for sure. A messed up one, but a family nonetheless. I think that a lot of them wouldn’t even realize this. What I do think is clear is that they’re all connected through something—whether that’s this “ancient prophecy” or simply the fact they were all imprisoned by the same man.

I think Jean is an interesting subject, because actually, I think she’s the black sheep. Her thoughts were always on her living family, and any attempts to connect with the ghosts were likely shut down. Perhaps she once tried to comfort Billy, who rolled his eyes, disinterested in reassurance; she knew better than to talk to Horace or Ryan. She mostly kept to herself as a result, and when she was the only one to find peace and pass on, this took a while for the others to process.

I think the ghosts would be the ones bullying each other more than anything. They’re out of touch. They’re dead, they’re bored, and have nothing to lose—and that’s why Jean’s caring seemed so strange. When there was a real threat we DID witness the ghosts band together to tear it (*HIM, cough cough*) apart, but I think their motivations were self-centred. If the time came again, they could definitely dip back in to that team effort—but I do think that most of the time, many would be entertained through watching or causing the other’s misfortune.

I think that the two with the most in common would be Susan and Royce, that Susan probably flirted with him at the beginning, but quickly lost interest due to his lack of interest—so I don’t think I could see any of them romantically involved with one another. Similarly, Ryan held an indifference (or also disgust) to the ladies in containment. When he met Kathy his manic excitement returned, which again, I think having real-world impact on something is what woke him—and the rest of them—up from their sulking.

When the ghosts were set free, they all felt that rush. Nothing mattered but their freedom, and they couldn’t care less about Jean passing on. But, I think that after a while they began to wander aimlessly, bored again. Some wondered where exactly they went wrong.

Here are my headcanons:

Billy, Susan and Royce: They’re the kids. Because they died so young, there’s a lot in the world they still want to see and do—so the thought of passing into the oblivion that Jean did sounds awful. I mean, Jean can do it if she wants, but they know better than to die a second time.

Jimmy, George, Isabella: They knew there was something off—something they were missing within themselves—but they didn’t say much or anything about it. While Jimmy and George thought of Jean often, wishing she’d stayed to give them some of her wisdom, Isabella searched for answers in God. They all hoped to find peace too.

Dana and Horace: They just wanted to be alone now. They didn’t care about Jean or where she went. Finding peace seemed like it would never be an option for them—although they showed that in different ways… (Endless moping versus more murder.)

Margaret and Harold: No one was sure they noticed Jean was gone, or really much of anything. They always seemed content where they were, so long as they were together.

Ryan: Oh boy, Ryan’s a complicated mess of emotions (but he always is). Sure, he was excited to be free, but it didn’t last long. Torn between feeling like he’s always been a monster and wishing he could fix it, it left him feeling lost and even afraid of where passing on would take him. He had nothing left in this world, but from his experience, everything can always get worse.

Messing with the others and seeing how they interacted with each other took Ryan away from his thoughts, so in my mind, he regathered the group. Everyone had their own reasons for returning, but at this point perhaps they began working more on themselves?

[thebigshotman]

*…WELL. I SUPPOSE THAT IS ALL OF THE TIME WE HAVE TO INTERACT WITH THE PAST FOR THE TIME BEING. I AM SURE MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO DO SO WILL PRESENT THEMSELVES…HOWEVER, MY HOLD ON THE RIFF GROWS THIN.

*I TRUST ALL OF YOU HAVE SAID EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANTED TO HIM…AND SEEN HOW BETTER OFF HE WAS BACK THEN, TOO. YOUR ATTACHMENT AS AN AUDIENCE TO A BROKEN PUPPET FASCINATES ME. TRULY.

*BUT NEVER MIND THAT FOR NOW. IN THE MEANTIME, I SHALL TAKE MY LEAVE BACK TO…ELSEWHERE, SHALL WE SAY. WE WILL MEET AGAIN SOON. FAREWELL FOR NOW.

The connection to the past is severed, the image of a rattled but still somewhat confident Spamton fading from view in a glitching swirl of purple, pink, and yellow. Through it all, distorted fragments of time stick out audibly as you are gradually returned to the present.

*Thank you!! Thank you, everyone…I’m thrilled to have been rated the number one salesman this past year!! I’d like to thank…thank…

*W-What? Don’t get cocky?? Mike, I think I can afford to be a little cocky right now-

*…Huh? Arguing with someone on the p-phone? T-Trust me, you were mishearing things! Everything’s [[100% certified]]…I-I mean, fine…what the hell was that?

*…Please. I don’t know if you can [[F1]]-Help, me, but…a Lightner made you, right? I don’t know what else to do…

*You “understand what I’m going through”?! No you don’t, ‘Delia!! Your success has never been hung on teeny tiny little [[$5.99 door hinges]] that could fall apart at any moment!! …Please, leave me alone for now. I just need to call him back…

*…Huh? What’s this little thing doing in here? Looks like…some kind of jewel…

*Mike. I know you’re there. I saw something. I saw Heaven. How do I get there?! How do I get back everything and keep my-

*WHAT [[store-wide savings are happening now!]] T0 M3?!?

*H-EY HEY, SWA[[Easels]]…IT’S…ME!! YOUR [friend request-] FRIEND, SPAMTON!! LISTEN-

*SWATCH, [[don’t leave me here!]]!!! MANAGER, QUEEN, [anyone…]!!! I’m burning!! Don’t let me—

*HA…HA…HAEAHEAHEAHEHAEHAEHAE!!! 1’LL GET THERE ONE DAY!!! I’LL G3T THAT [workout ready body] AND GET TO [Heaven] 4ND THEY’LL ALL [[you’ll be sorry~]]!!! TH3Y’LL SEE I’M ST1LL A [[BIG SHOT]]!!!! JU$T U WAIT…

There’s another manic, sped up cackle, much more like the ones you’re accustomed to, before everything goes silent and dark. And then…

The roof’s finally finished loading, separating himself from that always dark sky he hates so much. Although, lately it’s seemed just a little less oppressive. All that’s left is for the rest of the store in fix itself. Considering ruined shelves are still clipping against the ground like that were just destroyed, that could take a while…

*…[Hazelnut] HASN’T [stop on by!] T0DAY…SHE 4LWAYS DOES ON HER WAY [[homes outside the city]]…

Despite that disquieting thought, Spamton G. Spamton-occasionally known as “Spaul”-doesn’t move from the spot behind his desk. He’s back to being the broken, plastic puppet that’s familiar to you, with a glitchy voice that’s unable to properly form coherent sentences. His wide smile seems a little strained, though, and his glasses have a certain glimmer to them. He’s not moving-because what would it look like if he showed up to her job unexpectedly?-but is absolutely concerned for her.

That’s when a headache inducing pulse of garbage noise, static, and memories pangs through his head suddenly, making him throttle backwards with an uncomfortable glitch and onto the floor as a result. Knocking his systems offline as they process whatever just happened for just long enough for a certain someone to speak through him.

*…Is anyone listening? If you can hear me, please, help-

The static is forcefully booted out of his systems, and he jolts upright while rubbing his head. Everything’s fine-well, relatively, anyway-but there’s something just a little different. In his head, in his memories. A certain section of the garbage and out of tune nonsense has cleared, and it’s as if a few cherry picked moments from his past, from his height as a big shot, happened only a day ago…

He weakly turns to the audience, squinted marbles appearing in his glasses as he points at them.

*…WH4T DID YOU [[chaos enjoyers]] 0F AN [studio audience] DO TH1S TIME…??

[terrence-silver]

What do you think heartbroken Terry silver would be like?

Charming. Polished. Sociable. He's a serial Stepford smiler. Hiding and integrating his grief (and other weakness, both perceived and real) so skillfully one can never tell it is there, or the extend it goes to, because if Terry Silver is talented at anything, it is hiding pieces of himself from the world, tactically, if need be, for decades. One would even suppose he enjoys the pain. Terry in the 80's certain seemed like he does. You can beat him and he'd still laugh like a hyena even as he's thrown against a mirror with a bucket falling over his head, unfettered. When it gets truly bad, though? He unravels. Loses his mind. The sneering facade turning dangerous. Years of repression, trauma and bottled up emotions flooding through, often times manically and violently, drowned in anything ranging from alcohol, drugs, over-training his body, dabbling in therapy, building his personality anew, throwing around money. I genuinely think whenever Terry passed through major heartbreaks in life, as you call it, he went about coping by shedding his skin and reinventing himself.

Twig.

Terry the soldier.

Terry the ponytail.

Terry the heir.

Terry the Billionaire.

Terry the best friend in the whole world.

Terry the Sensei.

Terry the avenger.

Terrence.

Terry returning.

His personhood comes in prequels and sequels. In sequences, in equal measure connected and disconnected from each other. Shattered. Somewhat bipolar. Born from trauma, born from various narcissistic disorders, born from mirroring others to fit in, born from appealing to others by presenting himself as similar to them to collect emotional residual benefits. Regardless, Terry feels things with immense acuteness and so betrayal, hurt, pain, even though he's a pathological sadist, has the tendency to blow the wind out of his sails so badly that he is entirely prepared to distance himself from being the person he was when the ache was delivered by, like a chameleon, changing colors and becoming a different person on the surface, all while he bubbles beneath the core, dissociating and compartmentalizing the injury and as such, the way he sees it, remaining in control of his own integrity and much like when a worm naturally grows a new head when you slice off the old one, Terry grows a new appendage crucial to his own survival in the form of an altered identity.

[undercoverinparadise]

The L Word (gasp)

I often ponder the moral implications of using one person to get over another. It's bad, I agree. That being said, if a smoker admitted that smoking is bad and they wanted to quit nobody would bat an eye if they struggle.

Similarly, I just can't get him out of my mind. It's wrong. Totally wrong. I know I should be upset because of how it would affect me but my only objection is that it'll never happen... again. It's not that there's nothing for this other guy, it's just that I think of him how I used to think of everybody else. Not very much.

But the guy I'm getting over is putting up a good fight. I just can't get him out of my mind. It's terrible, really. I want to apologize. I want to make him angry. I want to get it off my chest and ruin us again or just ruin me. It's so juvenile, right?

I (would) drop everything for him.

If I miss a message I cry. If he's online I'm online, waiting. If he want's me I want him too. I'm obsessed with him. Utterly, totally. To a degree I began to worry. It was a manic sort of feeling and it controlled every aspect of my life. It prevents me from moving on.

I've told people about him. Again. I'm lying though, I say he's somebody new. Everybody thinks I should do it, tell him, and move on. They're happy and they say "anybody was better than that guy."

It is that guy, dumbass. It's always been that guy.

The L word. I'm feeling it. Limerence.

It's debilitating. I think of him, I fantasize about him. It's been getting better since I started talking about it; since I started lying about him and it starting feeling more plausible and dare I say acceptable? I've been hyperfocused on a connection that isn't there and obsessing non-stop.

Not that I'm a total freak. I think about him when I masturbate. Okay? I think about him holding me if I have trouble sleeping. Sometimes when I need somebody to talk to I wish I could talk to him again. Not that I can't but I let him message me first, now. Though, we'll never talk like we did, I think.

I don't think it's weird, just unhealthy. He's gone and for as long as he's still around I'm not going to accept that.

And the worst part? If he ever expressed anything for me again I'd have to reject him. He held on so long last time. It's not just guilt, but it mostly is. I know me; I would and will do it again. When I reject him I want him to talk me into it. I don't want it to be all my fault this time.

This time it won't be anybody's fault. I'll be better, I'll treat him right. I'll be devoted. I wont be stupid and blind.

Good thing there isn't a "this time," right? I'm obsessed but I'm not stupid. I don't think it's a good idea either. I want to be rejected, though. Maybe I'll express everything I'm feeling for my own benefit. It'll hurt him and me. At least its a means to an end.

Limerence is such a stupid concept. If I only realize I loved him after he's gone but the love I feel is limerence does that mean I never loved him? No, I did once.

I try not to blame myself. I had my reasons for being cruel. I don't think they matter, though. I should blame myself because at the end of the day I hurt him and that's my fault reasons or not. And I never apologized.

I have a newfound respect for him; a realization that I should move on with my life so he can move on with his.

On a final note: my reasons may not have been so good, either. I was being blackmailed "Love, Simon" style (somewhat) a few months ago. Turns out it didn't matter since the nude photos and conversations they had of me were from a friend who was signed into my account and not because they had access to my account.

I can't believe I had to pretend to be a lesbian for that. (Always will be a bisexual, either way lol.) That was stupid. They did share the screenshots like they said they would and when my girlfriend saw them we broke up. That was fine because the whole reason we dated was so that the admin at school brushed the whole situation off as a breakup.

Aren't I smart?

I really lucked out with that 2 for 1 breakup deal though because things didn't go back after that. And, on second thought, I didn't have to break up with him and pretend to be a lesbian because if the admin team saw the revenge porn of me they probably would have assumed it was nothing anyways.

Anywho I'm getting off topic. God I'm a fucking degenerate. No wonder why the world hates me, I'm a fucking dickhead. Oh well.

[meetingwiththemachine]

r.2023.b.1 = Review of Alfred Bester’s “The Demolished Man”

Bester, Alfred. The Demolished Man. First published 1953; review from Gollancz’s 1999 SF Masterworks #14 publication.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️. Stone-cold sci-fi classic.

The first thing that strikes me about this book is the PACING!!! This book moves like an absolute lightning bolt and does not let up for the entire time.

The murderous Monarch Corporation president Ben Reich is an all-time guy. Absolute shitshow of a man. Evil wretched bastard and the book knows it. This book gleefully delights in presenting the manic, egocentric ideology at the heart of him and the kind of men at the top of powerful corporations (who is also described as a conventionally attractive and charming man!) His rival, the telepathic Police Prefect Lincoln Powell, is also an immensely engaging protagonist. He is much more plain, pleasant, and well-mannered, and also serves extensively as our connection to the wider society, starkly contrasted with Ben, whose relationships with the world begin and end with how they can further his increasingly-insatiable desires. The “Dishonest Abe” aspect, however, is an interesting wrinkle that adds further symmetry but could have been honed in on a little further.

The stuff between Powell and Barbara is kind of weird but it’s ultimately played as complicated and charming enough that it works. Women in general in this book are largely confined to their romantic involvement or interest with the male characters (with the exception of Ben’s chief 2nd and T’Sung’s secretaries, who are still both defined by (subordinate) professional relationships to men), which is unfortunate and disappointing. While the book is in many ways explicitly a refutation of cool guys who think they’re at the center of everything, it is also very committed to those cool guys and their exploits and relationship. Which are still AMAZING – just still telling of the limitations of a certain kind of focus.

Despite this hamstringing, the women themselves are enjoyable to read! They are personable, get to be somewhat complicated and mischievous, do not feel morally degraded by the narrative for their non-effusive interactions with the central protagonists; they are acknowledged as real actors within the world with psychologies and thoughts and desires. There is perhaps an element of fetishization present, but given the thematic subtext of the nature of power, history, and human connection, I would interpret it as genuine partially positive portrayals. Also, regarding this section, the 1950s are not a period with which I am really familiar with literary and popular culture beyond stereotypes, so my analysis is limited to my own terms and frame of reference.

The prose is incredible, fluidly shifting between scenes and tones and worldviews with ease and sharp rhetoric punctuation. Of particular note are the typographic elements present throughout the text, illustrating the exchanges and particularities of a telepathic society through the formally playful visual depictions of the telepathy itself! A a film adaptation of this novel, while of course not necessary, could be something really special if the crew were able to conceive of its own cinematographic approach to demonstrating this flow of information. As it stands, however, it’s the kind of visual trick whose parameters and effect are uniquely suited to the conventions of the written and printed word on the page.

The big conceptual pull in this book, which is central to the entire work but deftly woven into the background rather than being exactly what the plot itself revolves around (in comparable but distinct fashion to jaunting in *The Stars My Destination*) are the proliferation of Espers, colloquially referred to as *peepers*, a burgeoning population of humans with the telepathic abilities of mind-reading and thought-broadcasting (the latter restricted to other peepers). This is most directly explored in the book through the avenue of policing and investigation, which allows for a rather thorough view of the extents of this society, along with its protocols and conceptions of justice, law, regulation, and proper social function and control. A whole history is alluded to, enriching the world without being bogged down in the details of how society got to “there” from “here.” This conception of a wider history, and the struggling expansion of human connection heralded by the advent of Espers, are intimately intertwined in a non-exclusive vision of human advancement and steady evolution critical of the accumulation of power, critical of great men, and cognizant of the networks of community and power that bind us and bring us in reach of each other.

[phoenixyfriend]

Fake Sith TCW Trio

I have another fucked up time-travel AU! Who’s surprised? (Nobody.)

So like. Have you guys read that one fic where Luke and his students go back in time and pretend to be Sith Lords and are super hammy about it? (Sith Lord Swell by AMournfulHowlInTheNight)

This AU has contributions by @atagotiak, @the-lunar-system, @purronronner, @gelpenss, @creepingthroughthistidalwave, and @thisarenotarealblog.

I want TCW trio (plus Rex and Cody) to go back to several years pre-TPM and, since the Council DEFINITELY won't believe them about the Sith being back... they'll force the issue.

Anakin is weirdly excited about things and building up their backstory.

Anakin: Okay so I can definitely be a Maul type, with the unhinged ranting and manic laughter, Obi-Wan can be the whole Refined Rich Guy type like Dooku, where you can't even tell he's evil until he starts talking about getting out the eyeball scoops, maybe toss in a bit of mad science stuff? Ahsoka could play up like Ventress OR, oh oh, she can be the Light Side Child we need to PROTECT who's publicly begging us to return to the Light after our big dramatic Falls where we murdered like eighty people to save her, and-- Obi-Wan: Why are you never this enthusiastic about actual undercover missions. Ahsoka: Did you just have all this ready to go, or...? Anakin: WE COULD GET YELLOW CONTACT LENSES FOR ME.

Obi-Wan: How's my evil laugh?

Anakin going “Okay.. so if any of us need to murder someone to sell the bit it should be me, I think I could handle it the best. Why? No reason.”

Obi-Wan: I'm not sure a complete Fall could come from protecting Ahsoka, really-- Anakin: No, no, it could.

Obi-Wan: Surely you’d hold back because you realize neither of us want that for you. Anakin: Uh. Sure. Definitely.

Obi-Wan points out that none of them can channel the dark side to Prove they're Sith and Anakin just goes "Okay, give me like two seconds to stew in my negativity and--right, you can stop staring in horror, please."

Anakin rambles on that they can TOTALLY make the galaxy a better place while playing at being Sith! He's got a whole LIST of slave empires to "take over" and disassemble!

Anakin has a whole excited spiel about how EVIL soldiers and assistants are minions, in this case partly because Cody and Rex are too good at what they do to be mooks. Cody could pull off evil minion very well. Facial scar? Looks good in black? Quietly competent and sarcastic?

He also pushes for Obi-Wan to lounge in a fancy throne with a glass of wine while Anakin stalks the shadows and Ahsoka hangs out on the window ledge. The disaster lineage is dramatic, okay, Anakin’s just leaning into it, he’d appreciate it if everyone stopped looking at him like that.

Qui-Gon, surprisingly, ends up a skeptic about all of this. Everyone is freaking out about the Sith and he’s like “y’know I’m not even sure they’re darksiders.”

Some Jedi, possibly Qui-Gon for his conspiracy board, gets in a real risky situation and one of the Fake Sith saves them, but also panics and kinda drops character for a bit.

Jedi: You saved me! Why’d you do that? Anakin: I uh... just wanted the pleasure of killing you myself?

"You saved me. Why?" "Mmmm. Jedi." [walks away]

Qui-Gon: [trying to figure out what is up with these people semi-competently (from his perspective) pretending to be Sith] Dooku: [trying to protect Qui-Gon from Sith influence]

The gang is the most successful at pretending to be Sith to Dooku. Sure, they’re not gonna punish him for something he hasn’t done, but it’s not hard to act menacing and angry around him.

(They really do have so much fun irritating the heck out of Dooku. He hasn’t Fallen yet, but they want to keep an eye out.)

At some point, future Obi-Wan definitely drops that little tidbit of "What, you didn't think the Banites were the only Sith running around did you? You... didn't even know about the Banites. How... disappointing."

They REGULARLY use Ahsoka as an excuse to be marginally less terrible. They claim that if Ahsoka pouts, they stop. ‘Soka also uses them as an excuse for why she’s a lil feral. (To be fair, that one is accurate. She was already a lil feral before but it’s not like they did anything to stop it.) Ahsoka gets her "breaking into people's offices" jollies by bugging Nute Gunray's office.

The Jedi keep trying to Rescue Ahsoka.

Rex and Cody end up in real beskar, there's a whole Thing with Mandalore and Jango and Satine.

Obi-Wan is CONSISTENTLY worried about Anakin Falling for real, which... hey, at least he knows to be worried about Anakin Falling. Step up from canon, really.

Anakin is WAY too into killing the Hutts but like. It does... technically sell the bit.

Obi-Wan: Sure, I’m not sad that they’re dead, especially because we’re not connected to the Republic, so we don’t need to worry about starting a war and all that. But. Anakin is disturbingly cheerful about this. Rex: Wasn't he a Hutt slave? Obi-Wan: Well yes, but-- Rex: I'd kill Nala Se if I could get away with it.

Cody and Rex are very supportive of Anakin's murderous intentions.

Obi-Wan does understand anger, even killing someone in anger. Like Maul (the first time at least) and D’nar and a few others. All the same, like... y’know. The level of bloodthirst from the others is a little off-putting.

At one point, Anakin accidentally addresses young Obi-Wan by name, despite never having met before, and to cover it up, he... panic-flirts. He panics, and so he flirts, with young Obi-Wan.

(He will later blame this on old Obi-Wan, because he had to pick up the habit of flirting with the enemy from somewhere.)

Anakin vaguely implies that he's a wee bit obsessed with young Obi, and that the padawan should "get used to being the target of a dark-sider's interests," because he’s scrambling for Ominous Shit and, well, future Obi-Wan was pretty frequently a fixation point for darksiders, right?

The second he gets out, he just starts screaming into a bucket while Rex pats him on the back.

For the next however many terrible months, possibly years, he has to keep up the act while having an ongoing meltdown about how That's My Dad As A Twenty-Something.

(It doesn't help that young Obi-Wan reflexively flirted back.)

Old Obi-Wan, meanwhile, is just very "you dug this hole yourself, padawan."

There is an argument at the beginning about Obi-Wan’s outfit. If he’s gonna be a Sith, he can’t just go around in beige, but he’s like “I like this and it’s comfy.” Sure, he’s changed clothes for undercover stuff, but that’s always been temporary, y’know? He likes his beige.

We have a number of options.

My first instinct? Beige linen three piece suit, like a southern lawyer. "Now I may just be a simple Outer Rim force adept--"

And, of course, you can TOTALLY make the beige sinister: he’s impersonating a Jedi! Jedi impersonation would also explain why nobody has a red saber.

“Sure is good that the Jedi don’t seem to realize most of the galaxy doesn’t know red sabers are different and bad.” “Shhhh, stop poking holes in our story where a Jedi might overhear.”

Like.... if you do enough doublethink, it works! How would a Sith hide? In plain sight. Also, it’s a GREAT way (if they were actually assholes) to try to slander the Jedi name.

(Anakin and Ahsoka still think he could stand to put a little more effort in. Add a splash of color, for pity's sake!)

Though tbh part of me is like “What if Old Obi wore, like... a split skirt suit...” Victorian womenswear inspired because he misses his robes, but he has to look Professional, and like he's MOCKING Jedi instead of BEING one, so he wears a vintage-y split skirt thing over his leggings. Ends up looking a lot like what Ventress had for a while, but Beige. I also keep wanting to put him regency menswear.

Anyway. Obi-Wan’s wardrobe aside...

Anakin builds up his Tatoo accent again. It helps him with the (mostly true) "slavery helped me fall" backstory.

Either Cody or Rex offhandedly mentions being made to serve them (the Fake Sith) and now the Jedi are somewhat concerned about brainwashing. Are these Mandos the victims here?

“No like. Literally made for this. In a lab.” This is even more horrifying. So...

On the one hand good! The Jedi should be scared about Sith! On the other hand... it makes the Jedi more determined to stop them, specifically. They keep on getting in the way, just, all the time, and they’re not investigating the actual Sith problem, which is decidedly not great since the Team doesn’t actually know who’s a real Sith right now, except Maul, and who even knows where that guy is.

Obi-Wan, at some point: Do you think we've succeeded at this ruse... a little TOO well? Anakin: I don't follow. Obi-Wan, gesturing at the truly obnoxious amount of wealth they've collected, including "trophies" of their kills: Really? Because I'm a little worried! Anakin, planning out a battle to take on Nar Shadda: ...I'm not.

"How many people do we realistically we need to take over Hutt Space? Apparently... five."

(Mostly because Anakin is ridiculously op.)

ANAKIN AND YOUNG OBI GET KIDNAPPED BY PIRATES TOGETHER. It's tradition.

Anakin: Okay, so, I need to get really angry about something to pass as a Sith... time to think about my WIFE and how I'll NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

Since Anakin’s life never goes as planned... this does not work. Instead of getting properly angry, he makes himself sad. There are tears. There is wailing. There’s a distraught rant or two. Young Obi ends up awkwardly trying to comfort him.

“Oh no, this… Sith?? Is crying on me. What do I do???”

Later on, when the Council wants intel: "So... one of the Sith cried on me about his wife. I think she's dead? He wasn't very clear about it but it, uh... it sounded like it might have contributed to his Fall. Also the relationship was a little unhealthy? He basically worshiped the ground she walked on and kept ranting about how he would have given her the galaxy on a platinum platter of she'd only asked, but that might be new and inspired by the Dark."

One of the random Jedi is REALLY good at detecting the truth Through The Force, and asks Anakin how he Fell...

Anakin just. Tells the Tuskens story.

They don't get pinged as lying, but oh boy does old Obi have a LOT of questions for Anakin once they're in private.

There are other things happening to help sell the ruse. Some of them are necessary! Some of them are... not.

Obi-Wan: What's the best way to show we're rich and kind of evil, but like... classy about it? Anakin, immediately: I sit on the floor next to the throne, leaning against it, and you call me pet names while stroking my hair, and then when you need something killed I get to do it for you and then I go back to the floor and you thank me for the directed violence, and then you go back to Negotiations with criminals while I’m sitting there covered in blood. Obi-Wan: ...is there something you want to TELL us, or...?

"You're all going to get a glimpse of something normally kept hidden about me." "Anakin, you don't have to do that." "No, I'm gonna."

(Anakin has decided hes going to peel his kink tomato to sell this ruse, and the others are slightly uncomfortable with that.)

Anakin: Okay, I cannot keep flirting with you. Young Obi: Wait, what? But that's the best part of any time we run into you! Anakin: You look WAY too much like my Master did when I met him. Obi: O...kay? If someone looked like my master when HE was young, I'd-- Anakin: My Sith Master half-raised me. He's basically my dad. Obi: ... Anakin: What's that look for? Obi: I mean, you spend a lot of time lounging at his feet, and, like, given how much you hate slavery, I... kind of assumed it was a kink thing? Anakin, brightly: Oh no, I just have a LOT of trauma. And neuroses. Snips says they’re neuroses.

Young Obi is a little upset because he was actually getting REALLY into Flirting With The Enemy and was hoping it would go somewhere. He mopes to Qui-Gon about it. Qui-Gon isn't sure whether to be proud about Obi breaking rules, or worried over Obi-Wan falling for a Fake Sith.

(As Tia put it: "You enjoy making young Obi-Wan have a completely unrequited crush on Anakin, don’t you?")

Fortunately, one of those attractive Young Mando boys very kindly helped him tape up his ribs this one time, and has thus caught his eye...

I feel like having Cody date Young Obi would court an entirely different kind of (internet) drama because clone ages, but whatever.

Also please imagine an element of "so I'm dating the genetic identical of my boss... who's dating the man I'm a genetic identical of..."

(It's probably not actually Jangobi but man would that be funny and also stupid.)

Somehow Young Obi figures out that the "Sith Master" is a future him before he realizes that they're not actually dark. In his defense, Anakin was pretty convincing. Especially with the wife rant. It makes HIM more obsessed with Anakin, in a reversal of the implied earlier dynamic, which is all kinds of weird. Less romantic but like. Still weird.

"Future Me Scares Me" with Extra stupid. "Future Me Annoys Me." "Future Me acts like grandmaster Dooku, but more sass." "Future Me raised a really hot evil guy that refuses to bang Present Me." "Future Me might be a Sith, but I'm getting more and more convinced he's just fucking with us all." "Future Me is really rocking that beard, and I can't BELIEVE we figured out a way around the babyface."

"I’m kinda concerned about the whole evil thing, but I’m also glad that I know I’ll stay hot as I get older."

Quinlan approves of the priorities.

Also a lot of interactions with older Obi are very Anakin: [does/says something deeply unhinged] Obi-Wan: So, do you want to…. Talk about that? Maybe? Anakin: What’s there to talk about?? I’m fine, everything’s fine! Anyways how about those plans for tracking down Maul?

Anakin later, like way after the ruse is lifted, just blankly tells everyone that he did Fall, once, and Older Obi made him get therapy about it after the truth came out between the two of them a few months into the Fake Sith thing.

Where'd they find a therapist? I'm sure there's one SOMEWHERE around. Denon and Herdessa are close enough, and they've done enough "your criminal empire now belongs to me" that they can pay well. They make sure to find one that takes confidentiality real seriously.

It's all very "we need some more time to unpack all that."

Therapy helps get Anakin to figure out Sheev’s whole deal. They don't necessarily figure out he’s a Sith from it, but they figure out he’s sketchy and they need to look into that more. Obi-Wan probably already thought he was sketchy, but the whole active gaslighting campaign was a little surprising. They realize that he kinda benefited a lot from a lot of Sith plots and they still probably don’t think he’s a Sith but Obi-Wan is definitely starting to think he’s working with one.

"Okay, we're already bugging Gunray, should we bug Palpatine just to be safe?"

They get away with a lot of slicing because Anakin is a technical genius from twenty years in the future.

The reasons they're so good at Taking Over Hutt Space: 1. They know parts of the future. 2. They have superpowers and FAR less reason to not use them, now that their actions aren't going to reflect on the Republic. 3. They have Cody and Rex, who are two of the greatest military minds in the galaxy, and know EXACTLY how to wage a war that covers a solid third of the galaxy, starting from a position of relative weakness. 4. Anakin's charisma is scary high, and his knowledge of slave culture means they gain a lot of trust from the people they free, and they just... keep acquiring volunteers for the army they didn't plan to have. Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do. He thinks they might have started a cult?

In his defense, Dooku sort of started a cult, and Komari got kidnapped by a cult, brainwashed into joining it properly, and then took it over as head figure of said cult. It's practically tradition!

Comics Vader is the central figure of like three different cults, it was really just inevitable.

Anakin: Aw, don't worry master, it's not a cult, it's a revolution! Ahsoka: They're worshiping him, though. Anakin: ...it's still a revolution! Just... with some misunderstandings.

Also, if they got wind of people trying to keep people from being able to leave and other culty stuff like that, they’d probably put a stop to it pretty damn quick.

Names! Time for names. As per usual, it's easiest to keep track of Obi-Wan's alternate Older Self by just calling him Ben.

Darth Ben.

Ahsoka: You should be Darth Boring. Obi-Wan: I can still make you run laps, you know.

Anakin: The Force is telling me to call myself Darth Vader. Obi-Wan: ...why? Anakin: I dunno, but it sounds cool, I'll run with it.

Someone: Ben has all the answers; we shouldn’t question him, ever. Ben: One time I lost a planet, and a five-year-old found it for me.

More options: Going with the "evil word with the prefix 'in' chopped off" that we get with Sidious and Vader: Darth Surrectus (as in insurrection) Just random Latin words: Darth Temporus (time) Darth Commenticius (fake)

Anyway, back to Nonsense:

Maul goes after young Obi early, because the Fake Sith are really invested in this one random Padawan (Sidious is saying he might be a cousin of the false Sith Master? They do look similar enough) so someone needs to investigate. Naturally, Anakin shows up with some wild screeching to fight Maul, and when someone questions why he got involved it gets very "Kenobi is MINE!" and like. Okay. So.

Anakin means it in a very Sith "to toy with" and "to torture" way, or the ‘my chosen opponent!’ way, just the same kind of Obsession as Maul had with Obi-Wan in the original timeline. Unfortunately, Anakin’s a weird-ass person who flirts with Young Obi against his own better judgement, so there's some awkward "Like... your boyfriend?" from young Obi. Anakin just screeches in SOME emotion that nobody wants to interpret, and couldn't even if they wanted to, and starts whacking away at Maul again.

(Anakin hasn't explained the "you look exactly like my dad, sorry, it's just too weird" thing yet, and he is HAVING MANY REGRETS.)

There's definitely at least one instance where a person asks Anakin if he's planning on dating That One Jedi Twink, or at least banging out the tension. At that point in time, Anakin doesn't actually know who the fuck they're talking about, because "Obi-Wan + Twink = Does Not Compute" for dear, dense Ani, and instead he just ends up ranting about how he is LOYAL TO THE MEMORY OF HIS LATE WIFE, how DARE anyone so much as INSINUATE that he would TARNISH HER PERFECT MEMORY and UNWAVERING KINDNESS and WHOLESOME BEING, and the person who asked doesn't end up lightsabered but they do end up with a LOT to tell whoever they're reporting to.

Young Obi-Wan definitely hears Anakin mutter the phrase “something to discuss with my therapist later” a few times, and he’s a little bewildered because darksiders definitely don’t seem like the type of people to go to therapy. They’re the type of people to need therapy, sure, but not the type to go to therapy.

I think it would be very fun for Young Obi to continue sighing over Anakin (who's pretending to be fine with it and even flirting back because he's in too deep to stop and hasn't worked up the courage to explain the elephant in the room) while Anakin is covered in grease and infodumping while having a slightly manic hyperfocus on engine repairs while the two of them Somehow got stranded together in the middle of bumfuck nowhere (it's Plagueis's doing, he finds the interactions between THESE two in particular to be the most informative regarding the fake Sith).

Anakin, at some point while stranded with young Obi-Wan, and having actually started unpacking some stuff in therapy, though he’s def still got a ways to go: I’m pretty sure Ben cares about me. He acts like he cares, like he’ll do stuff like put extra blankets in my quarters in the spaceship because I get cold real easily or track down those droid parts I need for a project and he always has my back in a fight but y’know it’d be nice to hear him say he loves me once in a while. Especially because we kinda had a rough start and idk I don’t think he wanted me around at first.

And uh. Obi-Wan definitely relates to that a bit too much, y’know?

I want to say that Young Obi ends up mentioning All That to one of the clones or Ahsoka later, because they seem probably invested in Anakin's well-being, even if Ben is, well, a Sith, so Obi-Wan's a little worried the man's affection really is fake, but at least Ahsoka...

(Ironic, given what Anakin's actual eventual Sith would-be-Master was like.)

Young Obi mentions Anakin’s most recent rant to Ahsoka, and she just goes "Wait, is that why Skyguy likes to sit by the throne and get called pet names?" "Uh... I don't... know... but it sounds like all of you have a LOT to unpack there, Miss Apprentice."

Later on: "Master Kenobi, you need to tell Skyguy you love him 'cause apparently he's been having a lot of emotions about you not telling him you care and he's been talking to mini-you about it whenever they get stuck together and--"

Young Obi-Wan is just constantly the "Now we don't have time to unpack all of that" John Mulaney gif. Anakin in particular is a mess, and young Obi-Wan slowly goes from "I want to date that" to "I want to study that" about him.

Obi-Wan gets stuck somewhere with Ben, tries to small talk, gets on the topic of Vader, and spills the drama. He gets an awkward “Thank you for bringing that to my attention.”

It’s followed by a fairly frustrated “I try, but Anakin refuses to communicate his needs to me, and it feels like I’m always falling short.”

At least one member of the group is in therapy, probably all of them, but they’re still using young Obi as a sounding board for all this stuff. On the bright side, this is probably good for impressing the importance of good communication on Obi-Wan.

Good for Obi-Wan! And... whatever Padawan he eventually has.

As for baby Anakin, who is approximately age four, I want to go with "Anakin decides to be his own uncle, and Shmi just rolls with it because fuck it, she’s not a slave anymore, and a Fake Sith is a solid defense against anyone trying to re-enslave them."

[This is a backstory I've had them use before (see here and here).]

Seeing Big Ani and Little Ani in the same space might be what finally pings the "oh shit, that's future me" thing for Obi-Wan... you know, if he’s ever allowed close enough to see Little Ani in the first place.

Little Ani stays with the fake-Sith and is sorta jointly trained by all of them, and young Obi-Wan teaches little 'Soka at the Temple. Ani and 'Soka still end up friends somehow, but it is fairly different.

Every time little Ani addresses Old Obi as "Dad," it's just like ten kinds of awkward. The one time someone tried to explain that Ben wasn't his new dad, Shmi glared them down. She is of the opinion that, all the gods be damned, Ani deserves to refer to the most mature man in his life, who raised another him in another timeline already, as a father.

Ani doesn't NEED a father, Shmi herself is more than enough, but he does deserve to have this if he wants it.

An alternative conclusion to the time travel is uh. So the Mandalorians are genetically identical (give or take a hair gene) and really resemble Jango Fett, though whether anyone notices that is up in the air. Then the three ‘Sith’ (two fake Sith and their morality chain tag-along) have three younger, identical copies show up….

It could be really weird cloning shenanigans. Now, it makes no sense that they’d make clones, and stagger their production like that, and leave them as babies on various planets for Jedi to find. IDK what reasons Obi-Wan would come up with for that, but it’s a fun little detour before he gets to time travel.

There's a really painful moment (for the audience, who know about canon Vader) where someone tries to convince Ahsoka to leave the Sith and she's just like "no way, they'd never hurt me!” Then she clarifies that “someone has to keep them from doing stupid Sith shit whenever they get bored, you know?"

A bunch of Jedi probably think she’s delusional, but the few that have seen her get into trouble that is legitimately too much for her, which isn't often, have then seen Anakin show up like the devil himself to save her, and it's like. Oh. This is why she isn't scared of them hurting her.

We’ve discussed how Anakin does get concerningly in character with the fake Sith thing. However, Anakin and Ahsoka are, just once in a while, surprised by how Ben gets sometimes when playing the bad guy.

After all, he stabbed a dude with a fork and threatened to eat him during his time as Hardeen…

He has the same dramatic streak as all the rest of the lineage. He can be vindictive and creepy and scary as fuck.

HOWEVER:

Obi-Wan: I know I'm supposed to be playing at evil right now, but how do we feel about me making that evil a little... fruity? Ahsoka: Fruity, master? Anakin, who knows where this is going: [buries face in hands] Obi-Wan: You know, the... [limp wrist] Ahsoka: ... Obi-Wan: I mean, I'm already bisexual and well-groomed, I can play it up.

What’s the point of being evil if you can’t be flamboyant?

Anyway, I had to put in a lot of thought for what to do with Rex and Cody, because there's a solid place for them in terms of strategy, but it doesn't do much to give them independent narrative arcs, and 'young Obi-Wan has a crush' isn't much of an arc, you know?

So, basic info first: Cody, Rex, and Anakin all hold the rank of General in this AU because, like... who else is gonna. Ahsoka remains a commander because everyone declares her Baby, and also to keep up the "I'm a morality chain" ruse.

Cody maintains a very stern and unyielding public persona, but the second they're behind closed doors, he's roughhousing with his little brother.

Rex has some fun pretending to be a sadist whenever he and Anakin have to team up, because hamming it up as an evil bastard in front of Jedi is actually really fun... but usually, he's a competent fucking professional.

Because here's the thing: someone has to be.

They both kind of hate the army they've gotten, because these people don't even have proper trigger discipline, let alone any actual discipline.

This army? Tragic. They hate it. Give them the clones.

They have to be drill sergeants for months before they have anything worth sending onto the field.

I think that might be how/when they end up reaching out to Jango. Like, the first inroad is absolutely "we're your clones from the future and you were a Shit Dad so you owe us," but then they actually talk him around into letting the Fake Sith hire him. He brings along all the Mandalorians he can get to answer his calls, and on suggestion from Those Mando Twins, joins the army Ben doesn't even want.

Darth Boring doesn't want an army! Unfortunately, Cody thinks that's stupid as hell, and is overruling Ben so they can actually work on this 'cleaning up the galaxy of slavery' thing with actual resources.

Cody and Rex are super competent, and it shows in their horrified disdain for the state of their troops.

Rex: Fucking natborns. Anyone who isn't in the know: What's a natborn? Rex: [leaves without answering] People: WHAT'S A NATBORN???

(I'm assuming that the word smush is harder to parse in Basic.)

I think young Obi-Wan's new crush on Cody should also be unrequited. Cody's just like... bemused. Very "Okay, then, that sure is an Affection you've decided on."

Cody and Anakin both: Sorry, it’d just be too weird. Obi-Wan: Why would it be too weird? Cody and Anakin: Reasons.

Rex has to deal with the "whyyyyy" from both his brother and his (former?) General.

Young Obi-Wan just likes cute boys that fight good! Is that so wrong???

Ahsoka: So since we're not officially Jedi anymore-- Obi-Wan: We're still Je-- Ahsoka: Can we date? Can I date now? I want to date someone before we go back to the Code. It's a classic life experience for most teenage girls, and I want to Have That Experience before we're back at the Temple. Obi-Wan: You're not... you can date, Ahsoka, that's not actually banned by the Code. I mean, you'd have to keep it casual, but-- Ahsoka: I CAN DATE!!!

(Great priorities, Ahsoka.)

An idea I'm toying with is that one of the clones ends up Legally Engaged to Satine for political reasons, and young Obi-Wan is just like ???? because not only can he not date the hot boys, but one of said hot boys has become Mr. Steal Yo Girl.

Young Obi-Wan is suffering, and Quinlan is the worst friend ever because Quinlan is laughing at him.

There is obviously the question of

"How would Satine ever end up agreeing to that, given what their public personas are like and all that? She puts duty ahead of personal feelings but all indications are that it’s a terrible decision both ways." (as stated by Tia)

Which, yes, I forgot to actually say that I was imagining Jango had declared "those twins" his heirs after telling people they were his younger* cousins. Because reasons.

* Jango is about 27 when they land in the past, and I’m going to say the accelerated aging ended after hitting physically twenty because no, I don’t want to deal with that. As far as anyone knows, Cody and Rex are about five years younger than Jango. They’re less than year apart, which isn’t very visible, and most people assume they’re identical twins (except Rex’s hair), and that Cody just looks slightly older because of the scar.

Darth Boring had convinced Satine that the way to keeping Mandalore peaceful was to work with Jango (because Darth Boring, which is not his actual title but it is what Ahsoka insists on calling him in private, has a vested interest in keeping Mandalore and all interested parties calm), and he... maybe accidentally set up a political marriage between her and one of the clones.

It wasn't on purpose! Satine never married in his timeline, okay, he didn't expect her to ever get married here, either! He didn't even suggest it! This just happened!

(I want to say that Cody would be more competent at having a political marriage? But IDK.)

Do I do the Satine thing? It has potential, but also it's a bit of a cop-out. Do I have Cody be a diplomatic representative for their pseudo-Sith empire? He could be, but I think he'd hate it. Do I have Rex date one the Chaos Entities (Anakin or Ahsoka), or is that too repetitive with my other works? THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON.

Part of me wants Quinlan to get a crush on Cody, and the crush gets bigger specifically in response to the fact that Cody refuses to take him seriously and/or just doesn't give him the time of day.

Based on their one interaction in TCW, they probably let get along ok. Cody maybe likes him back, buuuuuuut internally he's just a little "you were tolerable at almost-forty; early twenties you is obnoxious."

Just imagine the absolutely puppyish attempts at gaining approval and Impressing The Hot Mando General. Quinlan keeps having vague daydreams of seducing someone to the side of the Light. He really leans into the bodice ripper fantasies of saving someone evil with the power of love! (And also the power of really good sex.)

Bant looks at Quin and Obi and wants to throw them both into the nearest pond because they're idiots, but on this topic they are the same flavor of idiot. She considers calling up Reeft and Garen to help her knock some sense into them.

Quinlan: Can I volunteer to go undercover to the Sith? The Council: No. Quinlan: ...what if I-- The Council: No.

Tholme tries to get Qui-Gon to commiserate over their Padawans getting obsessed with Hot Sith Boys, but Qui-Gon just finds the whole thing funny. He knows from the chats he has with Ben that Anakin feels so completely, utterly, incredibly awkward about all of this.

(Ben continues to hold to "Anakin brought this on himself.")

(Ben also “kidnaps” Qui-Gon a lot.)

Also, hey, at least Quinlan isn’t actually into hot Sith boys! He’s into hot Sith minions which is... probably a step up. At least Cody’s not a Sith himself!

It's a step in some direction but Tholme has no idea which one.

(Quinlan sees Cody in dress uniform once and just keeps the mental image for Ages. It’s in his dreams. Sometimes said dreams overflow to Tholme via Force Mind Magic and Quinlan wakes up to someone smacking his face with a pillow.)

Arguably, Quin's also a lot more romantic about his crush than Obi-Wan is, in this case. Quinlan: I want to save him... Obi-Wan: Hey, hey, cute boy. Look at me. Let’s bang.

Cody: There are currently two future Jedi generals having some form of absurd romantic fixation in my direction. I don't know how to feel about this. Rex: Bed them. Cody: ...I'm not saying that's not eventually an option, but one of them is the younger Kenobi, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. Rex: Pat him on the head like a tooka and then bed his friend, it'll be funny.

I think the Quinlan thing and also general exasperation of leading an absolutely useless army can function pretty solidly as the basis for Cody, but I have another idea for Rex now.

Komari is currently brainwashed in a cult, yes? So.

I keep bouncing around back and forth on what to do with Rex, but part of me suddenly really likes the idea of, after Team Fake Sith finds and dissolves the cult (as one does), and takes Komari into custody (because she's dangerous and deeply unwell), Rex kind of ends up her touchstone to being a decent person. He’s not a morality chain, and it’s not really a redeemed-through-love thing, just This Is A Solid Dude who doesn't pity her or thinks she's irredeemable (however you choose to define such a thing), but actually relates to the kind of conditions living like that can involve, and just kind of...

I don’t know. I think Rex's arc in this AU could be very heavily grounded in something to the effect of "You're not the worst darksider I've met. You're not the only person who was in a cult. You're not even the only former Jedi I know that's committed awful, horrible crimes. My question is just this: What are you going to do moving forward?"

Later Anakin: Wait, who do we know that was in a cult? Rex: What did you think Kamino was?

(Rex isn't as chill as he'd like her to think, but he's trying, and she's fairly reliant on the Force to understand emotions, and is currently in nullifying cuffs, so he can bluff.)

Komari needs someone solid and dependable to rely on for at least conversation, and I think Rex needs to feel needed.

I’m not sure if it’d be romance or friendship, but I think there's a solid basis to work with, potentially.

Per Tia:

One thing about Rex and shipping is like. If you want to do Rexwalker again that's fine, but if you're worried about repetitiveness but still want to like. Ship him in a non-political-convenience way. Rexsoka here actually would be different than your other stuff.

I'm trying to figure out if I can make it work because Ahsoka thematically fits very much into a little sister shaped hole here? She feels younger than in other works, despite not actually being younger than she is in, say, Commander Buir. In those other fics, she has some time alone to function and prove herself independently of Anakin and Obi-Wan.

I usually pluck Ahsoka out at sixteen if I'm pulling her from TCW, so she's got most of her competence but hasn't gotten quite all the trauma yet. Commander Buir, in particular, also has baby-shaped Anakin for contrast.

That said, I can see a decent source of narrative conflict in her wanting to experiment with romance and all that, and Anakin trying to tell her she's too young.

A year into this whole time-travel mess, she wants to give the dating thing a shot, and it spirals into "You were only two years older than me when you got married!"

I think I could build a plot out of Ahsoka wanting to do these things, and Anakin as an audience insert not quite processing that she's old enough to make these decisions. If she's choosing to date Rex, whose age works out as being close to hers when one takes into account Kamino fuckery, and whom she trusts absolutely, it’s arguably extra weird for Anakin to be upset with it.

"Senator Amidala was five years older than you, and you married her when you were nineteen and had only really known her for a week! I can go on a date with a guy we both know is one of the most trustworthy people alive if I want, Skyguy!"

I can definitely see Ahsoka getting annoyed with Anakin being overbearing and controlling at some point before that unrelated to romance, too. It’s not exactly a new fault of his.

My god, just imagine someone snidely asking Anakin "where's your little shadow?" and Anakin, being Himself and also a Fake Sith, has an emotional breakdown about how Ahsoka yelled at him for micromanaging her and not trusting her to make her own decisions in life and so she got herself a multi-month solo mission from Ben that Anakin isn't allowed to know any details about, and--

It's another one of those "oh, you have PROBLEMS problems with your mental health" incidents for the Jedi to add to the file, because Anakin having emotionally charged rants about his issues at seemingly terrible times is how they get a lot of information.

Some of the rants are planned.

Many of them, actually.

They want the Jedi to know these things.

Just, well. Anakin.

He really is a little Like That.

On that note, I'm low-key imagining that Anakin gets put on mood stabilizers by the therapist in this context, and he's doing good! He's handling his issues! He's--been captured with Obi-Wan the Younger again and his medication was confiscated.

Anakin is... not great. He's a little out of practice managing his unmedicated self, and when adding withdrawal symptoms onto that... poor Anakin.

(Poor Obi-Wan.)

I think it would be best if Anakin makes a bunch of ominous blustery comments at their captors about how they won't like what's coming to them if they take his belongings (AKA the fanny pack that has his backup pills), and then Obi-Wan just gets to watch Anakin get more and more erratic, because like. Yes, Anakin is using the Force to compensate, but unfortunately he's mostly cut off, and the stress of the situation is pushing him away from depression and into the beginnings of a manic episode.

Anakin is aware of his issues to the point where he's mostly managing, and he keeps asking Obi-Wan "would it make sense for me to [slightly deranged, very impulsive action]," and Obi-Wan realizes he's being the morality sounding board for the Hot Sith because ??? reasons?????

Eventually, Anakin does flop back in bed and dramatically throws his arm over his eyes, and says he needs his meds back, he's absolutely going to lose it, and Obi-Wan tentatively asks what kind of medication. There are levels to worry about. Mild allergy medication is one thing, but heart medication that needs to be taken every four hours is another, you know? He wants to know how much panic is appropriate.

Anakin lets him know that it's Psychiatric In Nature. Obi-Wan suddenly realizes that he really, really, really doesn't want to know what a properly erratic, unmedicated Anakin is like.

(An unmedicated Anakin really isn't nearly as bad as Obi-Wan fears. Anakin's been dealing with this for a while, and knows what his issues are and some of how to deal with them. He'd need to be running on no sleep and higher levels of stress, or to have been drugged with something meant to increase his aggression, to really lose his shit and do something worthy of Vader. RotS levels of stress and sleep deprivation is required to pull RotS levels of manic paranoid delusion.)

Tia asked:

How long does it take the Jedi in general to catch on to how like. They have opportunities. But these Sith never seem to harm any Jedi. And it’s not just like, the past timeline parts of the disaster lineage. They probably get opportunities to hurt other Jedi. Ones that are less skilled at saber work. And more importantly ones that they don’t seem weirdly interested in."

I'm not sure, really. The Jedi don't spend as much time in the Outer Rim as they could, and that's where the Team operates, so actually running into them by accident is unlikely for anyone other than Shadows.

Fortunately, it's really easy to toy with Shadows with the excuse of "I want to see how long it takes before you Fall with us."

I do want like... okay. Here’s the mental image:

Qui-Gon calls them out on being Fake Sith pretty quickly, so Ben just sort of eyes him, dramatically, and orders out "Leave us" to all non-team people. The threat of torture is implied but not stated. He gestures with wine to keep in character. He definitely makes sure Young Obi-Wan is ushered out, so it's just five time travelers, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Ahsoka's immortal force birb.

"...so, what's the reason for the farce, Obi-Wan?" "How in all the hells did you figure it out so quickly?"

(Qui-Gon cheated a bit. He could feel the broken training bond that was never properly severed due to Traumatic Death Of A Master on Ben's end)

Ben didn't realize he'd feel it! Young Obi-Wan can't feel his older self or a training bond with Anakin or Ahsoka, so why could Qui-Gon?

IDK if there would be anything on the level of crying and hugging it out, but I think it would be very funny if, every time young Obi and Anakin are getting captured by pirates or something, Ben and Qui-Gon are just having a nice afternoon tea and checking their watches to see if their respective walking bundles of neuroses are done with their adventure yet.

The Council is So Done, because Qui-Gon continues to insist that they're Not That Bad, but every time anyone other than Qui-Gon brings up the friendship, Ben laughs and makes a comment about how absolutely gullible Master Jinn is.

Obi-Wan is skeptical of his own experiences with Anakin, at least, if only because he's skeptical about Anakin's everything.

"I don't know if Vader is telling me the truth. I don't know if he's telling himself the truth. I don't think he's a great source of information even when he thinks he's being honest."

Anakin could tell Obi-Wan the full and complete truth, and Obi-Wan would worriedly put a hand to his forehead and start doing tests for hallucinations and paranoid delusions. In his defense, this is a very reasonable assumption to make with an individual like Anakin. It's just also not accurate, this time. I don’t know if Anakin hallucinates in canon without a weird inciting incident like Force Nonsense or getting drugged by the enemy, but paranoid delusion is pretty much all of RotS.

"I’m your time-traveling padawan who’s pretending to be a Sith to catch some other Sith who’re going to start a galactic civil war and those Mandalorians you like are from a clone army based on a template of Jango Fett made to serve the Jedi (because that’s totally something he’d sign up for), and one of the Sith is your grandmaster but he doesn’t seem to have fallen yet, it’s probably fine," is hard to believe.

Honestly, even if he seemed stable before saying that, which he doesn’t, it’s all real far fetched. There's a lot going on and Obi-Wan wouldn't even begin to believe it without evidence.

I've had it in my head that he and Bant and Quinlan have been gossiping about the mess for months if not years about these idiots, and at one point it became common knowledge that Ben was a Kenobi, and Bant convinced them (since the two were among the most likely in the entire Order to encounter the Fake Sith) to get a DNA sample, probably hair or blood since that's easiest so they can figure out HOW these two are related, if they are, and then there's a whole big thing.

Bant: No, no, this must be contaminated, it's coming up as Obi-Wan! Are you sure you didn't accidentally grab some of your own hairs? I know it's a little long for most of your hair, but the braid-- Quinlan: Wait, they keep claiming stuff about cloning, right? Maybe someone's a clone? Check for artificial telomeres! Bant: ...okay, so, there aren't any artificial telomeres, but the ones from apparently-Ben are... a lot shorter... um... I don't know what to do with this. It's like I have two samples from the same person, twenty years apart. Quinlan: Obi-Wan, what's that face? Why are you-- Obi-Wan: Vader told me he was a time-traveler. I thought it was the fever talking, but...

That’s how he finds out that Ben is future-him before finding out about how he’s not evil!

"Master Jinn... I think... I think the Sith controlling the Outer Rim is me from the future." "Oh, you finally figured it out?" "I AM HAVING A CRISIS HERE."

Obi-Wan, after a few hours of dazed realization, runs screaming to Quinlan and Bant like 'GUYS GUYS THIS EXPLAINS WHY VADER KEPT SAYING IT WAS WEIRD AND THAT I LOOK LIKE HIS MASTER AND THAT IT WOULD BE LIKE DATING HIS DAD.'

You know, the important stuff.

I think Qui-Gon tells him that Ben isn't evil because, like, That Sure Is A Crisis Obi-Wan's Having. He could hold off for shits and giggles, sure, but Obi-Wan’s on the edge of something Really Concerning, mentally. Best help calm him down on at least one or two things.

Obi-Wan’s maybe still a little skeptical until he confronts them over it. Because their Sith act was real good and also like. Maybe Qui-Gon just wants to believe the best of his Padawan, y’know?

Quinlan runs into Ben before Obi-Wan does, after this whole mess, and gets to observe as money changes hands and people act like sore winners about bets made for When Does Obi-Wan Figure It Out.

Anakin was saying 'soon' because he really didn't think the fever-fueled rant would be discounted as easily as it was.

Cody was of the opinion that it would take at least a few more years since they're actually pretty damn good at this whole schtick.

Quinlan: Wow, he's... going to be really disappointed that you have such a low opinion of his intelligence. Cody, gesturing at Ben: Experience. Darth Ben: ಠ_ಠ

Cody just rattles off some of the Extremely Stupid Shit that Ben's done in their time working together.

Rex cheerily offers up "You didn't even realize General Skywalker was married, sir! And they weren't subtle!" "I knew they were together, I just didn--" "Everyone knew they were together, sir. Everyone."

(Rex had the lowest opinion of their deductive capabilities. He claims it would have taken until Baby Ahsoka showed up at the Jedi Temple.)

-Once Obi-Wan accepts that they're decent people after all- Obi-Wan: Wow, Anakin, you're real good at acting unhinged! Anakin: Haha. Yeah. Thanks?

[parvuls]

okay but hear me out. bones/omgcp au. and yes this is a result of late-night binging of bones' first seasons BUT:

bones!jack and booth!bitty, come ON.

if jack's passion was science and not hockey he would still be the same driven, single-minded person he is, except all his focus would be on this job. he'd be kickass at being a forensic anthropologist because he'd find the whole historical cultures aspect fascinating and be really good at noticing small details and hyperfocusing on a skeleton. jack's social skills are a little rusty, though, and his main way of communicating with other people is through the language he knows: his passion. it makes other people feel like he thinks he's smarter than them.

bitty is a people person. that's like, a major part of his personality. he understands people and how they think and he connects to them easily and he's not like, religious per say, but he's definitely a lot more spiritual than jack and more open to seeing the world through less scientific eyes. he's a little all over the place, but he'd make a really good detective because he can read people really well, and because he looks nonthreatening so suspects trust him off the bat.

(he'd be terrible at getting his paperwork done on time and his desk, filled with case-related evidence, would always be a mess. it will drive jack mad.)

their work relationship would be, as in the comic and in the show, a little rocky to start with. jack gives bitty the impression that he finds him silly and somewhat dumb, and bitty gives jack the impression that he sees him more as a bones-robot than another person. but jack is the best there is, and bitty has the same determination as his canonical self to prove he deserves his position, so they stick it out. for justice. as they get to know each other they realize their first impressions were wrong - both their assessment of their partner and their assumptions of what their partner thinks of them.

there's a lot of unspoken ust there. like. a lot.

if you don't see hodgins!shitty and angela!lardo... idk what to tell you.

mad scientist shitty??? who comes from a rich, pretentious family and hates them all and doesn't want the team to know his family funds the institution they work for because he just wants to be shitty. he probably got a degree in something his parents approved of, like biochemistry or physics or something like that, and then snapped and decided to get a phd in something they definitely won't approve of, like entomology and botany. shitty loves being the slime and bugs guy, and he loves helping to find evil motherfuckers and bring them down even more.

lardo was getting her art degree when jack met her while giving a gust lecture. he watched her work on a life sized painting of a hyperrealist adult male and was so impressed with her anatomical accuracy that he struck up a conversation (this doesn't happen very often). lardo wasn't exactly getting an art degree to work on three-dimensional skeletal reconstructions but, you know, a) it's a paying job, b) she kinda finds the whole murder-solving thing morbidly cool, c) she likes jack. she thinks jack is a good dude who is going to need good bros around him. and getting to work with state of the art equipment is definitely a bonus.

ransom, holster and the frogs are still up for debate. but I kind of see ransom in cam's position, maybe - having went to medical school, ended up as a medical examiner, and now running the lab. holster has that manic fbi agent vibes on him. dex is a scientist if I ever saw one - maybe one of the squints?

[girl-of-many-fandoms]

Hi would it be ok if I requested a smutty Jensen Ackles where she and Jensen see each other again and they fall for each other all over again after years apart ?

I Missed You

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Warnings: Smut with a plot (somewhat 😅), 18+ READERS ONLY, fingering,orgasm denial, cum play,daddy kink, unprotected sex (NO GLOVE NO LOVE PEOPLE!!! Stay safe)

To my parents, if y'all ever find this, I'm so sorry. Lord, God please forgive me for I have SINNED.

@lclb13 I hope you like it, thanks for requesting ❤️

GIF CREDITS TO THE OWNER

Part 2

MASTERLIST

———

"Jens mhm-" groaning you raked your fingers through the mass of hair on top of his head using his weakness to your advantage

"Fuck" Jensen grounded his hips into yours sending pleasurable shockwaves through your body with the friction created by his clothed crotch

Out of all the ways that you had imagined this night to be, this was most definitely what you had in mind. You didn't plan on bumping into your ex, Jensen today but the universe had different plans

Earlier on this morning you two had crossed paths in a nearby coffee shop. After breaking up nearly two years ago you accepted his invitation to sit and chat for a bit. You guys easily fell into conversation and you'd be lying if you said that a big part of you didn't miss having him around

You both kept echanging flirty looks as you both exchanged compliments like it was the first time of meeting one another. At some point during the conversation you hadn't realised how close your hands had gotten until his calloused fingers brushed against your hand. That one touch sparked something within you.

You both paused mid conversation, both waiting for the other to pull away but neither of you did, instead, he took a hold of your hand in larger one, brushing his thumb on the back of it, remebering how much you loved when he did that

That one conversation lead to you him inviting you out to a bar for drinks which fast forwarded to you lying on his couch while he dry humped you. Your lips molded together so perfectly as you both fought for dominance in the steamy kiss. The little shit unclipped your bra from the front and started rolling your perky nipples between his fingers

"Jens" you moaned and he took that opportunity to stick his tonge in your mouth, smirk playing on his lips knowing that he had won. Hooking your legs around his hips you lifted yours to meet his

"Too..much..clothes" your hands found the hem of his shirt, lifiting it to take it off of him. Jensen got the hint and sat up pulling his black shirt over his head before discarding it on the floor next to yours

"Pants off" you ordered licking your lips as you drooled over the sight of his well defined body. His muscles had gotten bigger than the last time and now he had a tattoo on his left bicep making him ten times attractive

The sound of his zipper being undone drew your attention downwards as he did as told. The tent in his boxers became more visable, your cunt clamped down aching to be filled by his cock

"See something you like" winking he leaned forward trailing open mouth kisses along the coloumn of your neck and colar bone, settling himself between your thighs again. His hands roamed your body as he reaquainted himself with it. His fingertips brushed every curve, every dip, every piece of flesh that was available to him until he reached the waistband of your lace panties. He looked down as he slipped his fingers in

"Fuck Y/N your cunt is dripping wet" he spread your slick through your folds and up to your clit drawing a breathless sigh from you

His lips attacked yours as he continued to play with the sensitive bud. Your hips bucked silently begging him to give you more but he refused, making you frustrated as he increased his movements

"What do you want kitten?" his dominant side came out to play and you knew it was going to be a long night

"Please Jensen" he halted his assault on your clit and you nearly cried from the loss of conatct

"You know damn well not to use my name kitten" his green eyes were darker than usual as he pinched your clit causing a sweet mixture of pain and pleasure

"I'm sorry daddy" the sound of fabric tearing filled the room and he dropped the ruien panties on the floor. A mischeavous look plastered itself on his face as he slipped two of his thick fingers your dripping cunt

"You will be" wasting no time he started thrusting his fingers into your needy pussy. You tried to grind yourself down on his hand but he held you in place with his free arm

Throwing your head back your moans filled the empty house along with the squelching sounds of your pussy. Jensen adjusted himself to be eye level with your cunt, using his free hand he started rubbing your clit making your toes curl

"Oh fuck! Right there, right there...FUCK DON'T STOP!" he continued his manic assault on you on a mission to have you cum on his fingers

"Look at you taking my fingers like the little slut that you are. Do you want to cum kitten?" he teased knowing that you were too far gone to respond cohearently. Your legs spread wider as your eyes rolled to the back of your head ready to release

Jensen picked up on your actions and immediately ripped his hand away, spanking your swollen cunt as you cried from being denied a release

"Not so fast kitten" he dragged his fingers through your slick a couple times before sliding three of them in this time

"Please daddy, please let me cum" you begged holding on to his forearm as he resumed his touture on you. He sped up and soon enough he had your back arching off the couch. You felt the familar knot forming and you knew that you were so close, your pussy squeezed down on his fingers

"Cum" screaming his name you felt a gush of your release and your hips bucked violently as he swiped his plam against your cunt coving the both of you in your own release

"Fuck yes, I still got it" he stuck his fingers in his mouth, sucking away your arousal before dipping them back into you slowly pumping a few times, this time he shoved them in your mouth and you eagerly licked them clean

Reaching to pull his boxers down to return the favour he stopped you in your tracks, standing up to do it himself. His massive cock slapped against his stomach, the angry red tip taunted you as it leaked precum

"As much I want those pretty lips wrapped around my cock I need to be inside of you" wasting no time he shifted your hips to hang off the edge of the couch, raising your leg up he lined the tip of his cock with your entrance before sliding into your pussy

"Shit your still tight" he kissed your calves as he started ramming his cock into you without giving you time to adjust to his size

"Oh fuck" your titts bounced with each brutal thrust of his hips. Jensen pushed your legs up to you chest leaning forward to capture your plump lips in a searing kiss

This new angle gave him more leverage to ram you full of his cock. He went deeper into you as if that was even possible. The sinful sound of skin slapping skin echoed through the house

Panting you raked your nails down his back, you were pretty sure there would be bruses tomorrow but for now neither of you seemed to care

The tip of his cock contined to plow into your g-spot with each thrust casing you to see stars. Your pussy started fluttering against him signalling that you were close to your second orgasm for the night and he breathlessly chuckled

"You gonna cum again" you nodded unable to speak as you clung to him for dear life. For the second time tonight he pulled out before flipping you on to your knees. You held yourself upright by holding on to the backrest of the couch. Jensen spead your legs wider before smacking your ass, not one, not twice but three times before thrusting into your dripping cunt again

You slipped your hand down to rub your clit but he swatted it away applying pressure to the swollen nub himself. He used his free hand to take a hold of your hair, pulling you up flush against him. Your eyes fell upon the big mirror on the wall opposite you as he continued to fuck you

Using that same hand he wrapped his fingers around your throat applying a bit of pressure as he held your gaze in the reflection. Your face was flushed from being fucked like the whore that you were for this man

"Look at daddy's cock kitten, look at how your sweet pussy is taking me so easily" you moaned fixing your gaze down to where your sweaty bodies connected. You could see your arousal dripping down his balls and on the insides of your thighs, that sight alone made you want to cum on sight but you know that if you did you wouldn't like the end result

"Don't even think about it sweetheart" he knew you like the back of his hands. Your eyes rolled to back of your head as he released your neck. His fingertips dug into your hips as his thrusts became sloppy

"I..I can't hold..it" your legs trembled from the intensity of the orgasm threatening to rip through you

"Cum on my cock" your screams bounced off the walls as you squirted for the second time. The sound of your juices hitting the hardwood floor was music to his ears as he rubbed your clit, cock still thrusting in and out of you

"Good girl" your toes curled, vision became hazy as Jensen continued to rub your sensitive clit chasing his release. He thrusted into you one last time before stilling completely

His warm seed filled your needy cunt, smacking your ass in the process coming down from his high. Jensen removed his softening cock from your pussy and you both watched in delight as his cum leaked from your abused hole

You ran your fingers through his sticky release before sucking them clean as he looked at you in the mirror, enjoying the salty taste of it. He turned you to face him, lips meeting together in a short but passionate kiss

"I missed you Y/N"

"I missed you too Jens"

[birdsareblooming]

Sonic may actually be lost royalty

I keep going down these rabbit holes I shouldn’t go down BUT! Although this theory is one that I don’t fully believe in (unlike the infinite/solaris theory and the chaos emerald theory) I still have a good argument that I want to talk about very bad.

I also tried to make this as short as possible but there’s a lot of ground to cover, but at least it’s not the infinite/solaris theory. But I have a TLDR at the end.

[Spoiler Warning for Sonic and the Black Knight]

let’s start with a ✨numbered list✨

1. Blaze the Cat

Blaze is the biggest caveat for this theory, but I think it’s best to start with her.

Now, firstly I need to clear up some things.

[Eggman: My world...]

[Eggman Nega: and my world...]

[Eggmen: are in a manner, inextricably linked!]

[Blaze: Like two Eggmans?]

Part of the Blaze’s world is that it’s a parallel universe. Parallel Eggmen, Parallel emeralds, Everything else that isn’t stated outright. Like how Tails and Marine are definitely counterparts. Seeming as Tails came from South Island and Marine came from southern island, Tails is definitely based on a kitsune and Marine, in theory, based on a tanuki. 

And, although not stated completely, Blaze and Sonic are universal counterparts.

[From Sonic Wiki: Blaze was designed as a charater who was equivalent yet and alternate version of Sonic’s character.]

Much like the Sol and Chaos emeralds, Sonic and Blaze are a mirror version of one another, although slightly different.

Alright, now that we have that out of the way:

Looking at the connections between the others, Sonic and Blaze seem, a bit too different.

The Sol and Chaos emeralds fulfill the same role, although their different appearance, and have a similar story.  Tails and Marine fulfill the same role, although their different appearance, and have a similar story. The Eggmen fulfill the same role, although their different appearance, and have a similar story. 

Blaze and Sonic fulfill the same role, although their different appearance, and have a... completely different story. 

Blaze was born to a royal family, and set to protect the Sol Emeralds and the Jeweled Scepter as her birthright, and it’s somewhat hinted that her powers may also be a birthright. Sonic, on the other hand, has no known past, and seems to have just run into the Chaos Emeralds by accident. 

You could claim that Blaze does take on the role of both Sonic AND Knuckles, which is fair and stated on the wiki, however Knuckles is also never stated to be any kind of royalty, and certainly doesn’t have that kind of past, his past being one of the more tragically alone ones. 

And here’s something interesting.

Time has warped our vision of Blaze. We all know her as “Princess Blaze the Cat.” But from watching Sonic Rush, her opening game... she is never mentioned to be a princess until the very end.

[Burning Blaze: As princess, it is my duty to protect the Sol Emeralds...]

From what I remember, this is the FIRST mention of her royal status. 

From this game’s viewpoint, they reveal the mirror status of the dimensions. They then show both Blaze and Sonic having mirror super transformations using their emeralds, highly implying that Sonic and Blaze were mirror versions. (also this was implied already by just Blaze’s shoes.) and then it’s revealed that Blaze is royal, and a princess. 

So if she’s the mirror of Sonic, what does that mean for Sonic? Especially right after showing the two of them being, well, mirrors.

2. King Arthur

SATBK is much less transparent about the counterpart universe thing.

Now this is an alternate universe, set up by Secret Rings, and surprisingly not just a story Sonic told as an elaborate excuse.

They don’t hide obivous Sonic characters being put into roles, and their in these roles for a reason.

Blaze and Silver as Percival and Galahad, the knights who quested together for the holy grail. Knuckles as Gawain literally only because of “Gawain and the Green Knight” But I respect that so much. Jet as Lamorak because of Lamorak’s fiery temper and competitiveness.  Shadow as Lancelot because he’s the “closest knight to the king” stated in game (👀) Tails as a Blacksmith because that’s p much the medieval version of a mechanic. Amy as the Lady of the Lake because like. Fuck she’s the most powerful one there. (but seriously, in forces she’s shown to be the most level headed leader and strangest, especially in Sonic’s absence. As well as “sensing” that he was still alive and having a past in tarot.) And Merlina as Merlina because... well that’s a whole other theory.

(all my theories are being brought up in the post. like i know the first two were expamples of theories I fully belive in but damn this is like a avengeners, ok,)

But Sonic as King Arthur makes sense when it’s revealed. Although he wasn’t anyone’s counterpart in Secret Rings (because secrets rings was confused as hell) He is in this game, and as the ring leader of everyone following him in SATBK, it makes sense. 

Although something that was never brought up...EVER is the Knight’s backstories, which are EXTREMELY important not only in Arthurian legends, but for the knights in Sonic lore. All of the knight’s mentioned backstories are important to their character, in both contexts. Although their never brought up.

*DEEP BREATH* Alright. The similarities between Sonic Character/Knight backstories.

Shadow and Lancelot have pretty simmilar backstories when getting down to it. Shadow/Lancelot were both raised for greatness, but still outshined by Sonic/Arthur. Although remaining loyal to them, even if for Shadow it’s only in times of need. Shadow doesn’t want to admit he’s a supporting role to Sonic, although Sonic generations kinda throws that Idea out of the water when Shadow cheers Sonic on while watching from the sidelines, much like early Lancelot.

For Blaze and Percival, in multiple interpretations Percival is of noble birth. Upon meeting Sonic’s Gang/The Knights, Blaze/Percival get’s inspired by their heroics and eventually joins them.

“Lancelot and Percival prove morally superior to Gawain who follows the rules of courtliness to the letter rather than the spirit.“ Is an actual quote from Wikipedia. Although it is VERY hard to find a concrete backstory for Gawain other than “separated from his home”, I think this proves enough. As well as the Gawain and the Green Knight story (in which Gawain tries to slay the green knight and then he picks up his head and says “see you in a year” is pretty representative of Knuckles constantly breaking the master emerald in a comedic light.) 

Lamorak/Jet are known for challenging Arthur/Sonic to competitions. 

Galahad/Silver are searching for an object/person aided by Percival/Blaze

So now that we’re all good, do you see the similarities between part one.

Although everyone else has given backstory similarities, Sonic is given none, seeming as, as far as we know, Sonic HAS no backstory.

But isn’t it interesting that King Arthur’s backstory is being lost royalty? And the secret son of the king? Wack.

3. Sonic Fucking Underground

Now, most of you are probably unfamiliar with Sonic Underground. Good.

If you’re not, you watched it as a kid and you’re nostalgic, and let me tell you I watched the entire show recently and it’s not as good as you remember.

But Sonic Underground’s quality and history could be a post on it’s own, it doesn’t matter here. What matters is the plot:

[From Sonic Wiki: Sonic, Sonia, and Manic are the children of Queen Aleena, the rightful ruler of Mobius and are pursued relentlessly by Doctor Robotnik and his bumbling bounty hunters sidekicks, Sleet and Dingo. As infants, the siblings were separated and placed in hiding to fulfill a prophecy made by the Oracle of Delphius (a spoof of the Oracle of Delphi of Ancient Greece) that the triplets would grow up to find their estranged mother, overthrow Robotnik and take their places once more as Mobius' rightful rulers.]

FORGOTTEN ROYALTY YOU SAY.

Now, Sonic Underground is VERY SEPARATED from Sonic Lore, and nothing has ever taken from it besides Manic appearing in some comics, although from what I know he’s never mentioned to be Sonic’s brother. So This is the part I always take with a grain of salt, however;

4. In conclusion/TLDR

We have Two Instances of Sonic being lost Royalty (One in a separate reality and one in a separate continuity) We have Two Instances of Dimentional Counterparts of Sonic being Royalty (Blaze and King Arthur) We have zero given backstory for Sonic We have Three instances of Sonic, or a counterpart, being royalty

And from what I remember hearing, three’s a pattern.

[onlydreamofmysoul]

Cardigan (Wolfstar)

I sat down to write a teeny drabble with two lines from the song Cardigan by Taylor Swift. It quickly spiralled into this. (I really love it though).

Set in the cannon universe, cw for mentions of death, injuries and scars. (Nothing graphic though).

I knew you, dancing in your Levi’s drunk under a streetlight. 

“Shh! Pads. you’re gonna get us caught!” Remus half-whispered, his own voice a tad too loud for his own liking but his slightly tipsy state didn’t allow for a lower volume. Sirius spun into him smushing his fingers right up against Remus’ lips, both of them chest to chest under James’ cloak. It was hard to believe the four of them mused to fit under this - now it only just about covered Remus and Sirius even with Remus ducking down to Sirius’ height. 

“Come on Moony, you’re ‘Perfect Mister Prefect’,” He said, punctuating each word of the grand title with his index finger poking into Remus; chest. “Even if we do get caught, you can charm our way out of it.”

Remus rolled his eyes, but followed. The passage was dim and the ground was uneven and to be perfectly honest, they hadn’t yet discovered if this particular passage way had been caved in since they last explored it the previous year, but Sirius seemed sure of himself and that was enough for Remus. If Sirius was the one leading, he’d always follow. 

“Alright, but I’m late on a transfiguration essay, so if Minnie catches us, you’re on your own. I need to save my charm for that.” He said, his tone stern, but all his reserve melted when Sirius smiled up at him and pressed a victorious kiss to his cheek. 

“I take back your title.” Sirius said dramatically, looking at Remus with a smug righteousness. “Apparently ‘Perfect Mister Prefect’ isn’t so perfect after all.”

He pressed his mouth right up next to Remus’ ear just as they stepped out the little secret entrance, ducking under the ivy trellis that hid their little passageway. “It’s a good thing I like bad boys.” Sirius breathed, and Remus couldn’t wait any more, not caring whether the cloak revealed their ankles or not when he pulled Sirius in for a blazing kiss. 

“I love you, you know that, right?”

Sirius smirked and kissed him again. “That seems to be the general consensus.”

Remus laughed and took off walking again, tugging the cloak off as soon as they were far enough away from the school, catching hands and spinning under the soft glow of the lamplights illuminating the path to Hogsmeade. Sirius tilted his head back, still spinning, their hands acting as the axis that centred the entire universe. 

“I love you too.”

I knew you, hands under my sweatshirt, baby kiss it better. 

“Sirius, if you don’t start being more careful, I’m gonna-”

“What?” Sirius teased, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively, looking far too haughty for a man sitting on a countertop, his legs dangling in the air. “What’re you gonna do Re? You gonna punish me?”

Remus pursed his lips to try hide his smile, but gave in, kissing Sirius once briefly.

“No,” He said, pulling up Sirius’ jumper to get a proper look at the gash he had acquired after climbing a tree. Then subsequently falling out of said tree. “But I will send you to Madam Pomfrey and have you try to explain to her that you thought you’d be able to pull off a levitation charm if there was a ‘more extreme sense of urgency’.” He finished, mocking Sirius’ words from earlier. 

Sirius just scrunched up his face playfully in retaliation, before breathing in shakily as Remus coated the cut with a liberal amount of salve, watching in fascination as the skin knitted back together.

“There.” He said, straightening up to stand between Sirius’ legs, pulling down his jumper again. “Good as new.”

“Nah ah.” Sirius countered, shaking his head as his legs locked behind Remus’ back, binding them together. “Gotta kiss it better.”

Remus wet his lips, shaking his head in fond disbelief, but leaned in willingly, feeling the hot slide of Sirius’ mouth against his own cooler one. 

“All better?” Remus asked, panting slightly as they rested their foreheads together. 

Sirius shrugged, hooking his arm more firmly around Remus’ neck. “Close, but not quite better yet.”

Remus huffed a laugh through his nose, but gladly locked their lips together again, the pair fully intertwined as if they had been made for each other. 

(And maybe they had. For what else was the moon to do but love the stars?)

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan, under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favourite. 

“Sirius?” Re said softly, pushing the door to their dorm open slowly. “Are you here?”

“Yeah,” Came a muffled reply. “I’m here.”

Remus stepped into the room, looking first to Sirius’ bed to find it empty. Remus frowned, looking around to find Sirius curled up on Remus’ own bed, his favourite cardigan folded gently around him.

“Hi sweetheart,” Remus said, voice hushed as he climbed onto the bed next to the other boy, noting the red stained eyes and puffed lips. “What do you need?”

At the words, anything that seemed to be holding Sirius together until that point shattered, the raven haired boy collapsing into Sirius’ arms. 

“Re,” He gasped, between his sobs as Remus just pulled him closer. “Why is it possible to love someone who hates you? Isn’t love supposed to be good? If it’s so great, then why the fuck does it hurt so much?”

Remus’ heart clenched. Regulus. 

“I don’t know sweetheart,” He murmured, holding Sirius close. “But it makes us who we are.” He cupped Sirius’ face so he could meet the raging stormy eyes. “It’s better to have loved and have lost than to never have loved at all.”

Sirius just blinked at him. 

“But for the record,” Remus said, touching their heads together. “I don’t think you’ve lost him. He’s just lost right now. But he’ll find his way back to you.”

Sirius nodded, and slumped against Remus’ chest, no longer crying, just breathing deeply. 

“You know Remus Lupin,” He whispered after a while. “I don’t care how long it takes, but I’m gonna marry you someday.”

To kiss in cars, and downtown bars, was all we needed.

“Oh Merlin, they’re snogging again.” Peter commented as he turned his head to spot James and Lily, leaning in for a kiss. Remus, currently with his tongue in Sirius’ mouth heard this, but let Peter discover the other couple in his own time.

“Christ, the pair of you are too. You’re all fuckin at it.” He grumbled. If Remus’ mouth wasn’t already a little preoccupied, he would have laughed. There it was.

“Right, I’m off to find humans capable of holding decent conversation.” Peter muttered and he might have left. He could have stayed and done a jig on the table for all Remus cared, but in this moment, he noticed none of it. What was the poem he had read somewhere? Stars and moths and rinds slanting around fruit. This moment.

You drew stars around my scars and now I’m bleeding. 

“Hey, look at this.” Sirius said somewhat excitedly, rolling away from Remus momentarily and returning with a quill and a jar of ink. 

Remus eyed him skeptically, his arm tucked under his head as they lounged on his bed, the curtains drawn to create the illusion of their own little oasis. 

“I bet I could draw stars on your chest and then your scars could connect them, like in astronomy.”

Remus bit his lip, looking at Sirius’ appraised expression. “I feel like I should say no,” He said slowly, even as he unscrewed the ink. “But go for it.”

Sirius grinned triumphantly and studied Remus for a minute, brushing the quill over his lips as he concentrated. Remus couldn’t help but muse that if Sirius put half as much effort into his schoolwork as he was doing here, he would be top of the class. Finally, Sirius ditched the quill, dipping a finger into the ink directly. 

“I don’t want the point of the quill to scratch you.” He explained, after noticing Remus’ raised eyebrow. Something warmed inside Remus’ chest while something cold trickled over the outside. Remus closed his eyes and let himself focus on the slightly ticklish, but mostly soothing sensation of Sirius tracing patterns over his skin. 

“Done.” Sirius muttered after a while and Remus opened his eyes, raising his head a little to peer down at himself. He looked like some abstract piece of art, covered in black and blue and red and green, scars shining silver between it all. 

“Woah,” He breathed, “That’s pretty cool.”

Sirius grinned, then pointed to a star just over Remus; appendix. “That’s Sirius right there.”

Remus hummed, pursing his lips together, then grabbed a jar of ink, tracing a star a little messily, right over his heart. 

“Nah,” He countered, “Sirius is there.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, but came up to press their lips together. In the morning, they both looked like works of art.

But I knew you, stepping on the last train, marked me like a blood stain. 

“I can’t believe this is the last time we’ll be taking this train.” James said, the four of them standing in a row on the platform, not yet ready to get on. 

“We’ll be back.” Remus said. “Someday, we’ll be back.”

Sirius linked their fingers together. As one, the marauders stepped onto the train. 

Mischief Managed.

I knew you, tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy.

Remus just stared at the auror. 

“Mr Lupin,” The man said gently, playing his hand tenderly on Remus’ arm. Remus didn’t know what his name was. It was probable the man had said it but Remus wasn’t listening. Everything had gone dark. “I realise this must come as a shock.”

Remus wrenched his arm back, shaking his head. “A shock?” He laughed a little manically. “No, you’re wrong.”

“Mr Lupin, we have evidence that Sirius Black was the one to-”

“Well you’re wrong!” Remus yelled. Or maybe he had whispered. It was possible he hadn’t even spoken at all, but the words swirled around and around in his head. “I don’t know how, but you’re wrong. You’re wrong, this isn’t right, you have it all wrong, he would never-”

Remus gasped, pressing a hand to his cracking heart as if it would hold him together. “He would never.” He repeated, his voice breaking, tears streaming down his cheeks. When they had gotten there, he didn’t know, but their presence was suddenly noticeable with the cold rush against Remus’ skin. 

“I’m so sorry.” The auror said and then he was gone. And Remus was alone. 

Had it always been this way? Remus alone. Remus with friends. Remus with Sirius. Remus alone. 

Maybe he had made the entire thing up. 

But dreams didn’t leave you feeling like the last kiss you’d ever had was from a  dementor, not your true love. 

It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. He had said that to Sirius once. 

What a fool he had been. 

I knew you, leaving like a father, running like water, when you are young they assume you know nothing. 

“It is believed this was a plan Mr Black had been staging for quite some time now.” A newspaper read. Remus snorted and threw it in the fire. Sirius couldn’t even plan a week in advance. What they fuck did these people know. 

But then, what did Remus know? His love was long lost, Rapunzel in a tower. Remus was no knight. 

But he knew in his heart, none of this was true. He knew. He didn't care what anyone else said, they may have known his thoughts, but Remus knew his heart. 

But I knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss. 

Sirius’ leather jacket still hung in the cupboard under the stairs. His hair potion, still in the shower. Remus couldn’t bear to see them. He could never throw them away. 

I knew you’d haunt all of my what if’s.

Remus should have fought harder for Harry. 

He should have, he should have, he should have, he should have. 

He should have known better.

What if.

A smirking smile and stormy eyes. Hair held up with a wand. Those same dark strands coiled around Remus’ fingers. 

The smell of smoke would hang around this long. Cause I knew everything when I was young. 

Remus woke up to James’ scream. Except it couldn’t be James. Unless… Had this all been a dream?

James opened his eyes and suddenly there was Lily. Lily and James and they didn’t know who Remus was. 

(Remus had been the first one to hold baby Harry. Before even Sirius. And now he didn’t even know him)

I knew I’d curse you for the longest time. 

Remus hated Sirius. Not for being the notorious mass murderer Sirius Black. But for leaving him alone.

Why is it possible to love someone who hates you? Remus wanted to laugh. His question to Sirius now would be this; Why couldn’t he stop loving someone he should hate.

Chasing shadows in the grocery line.

The students all murmured about the Grimm. The paintings gossiped about little else. Even the staff room had a few words on the subject matter. Remus tried not to let his heart flutter. 

(But his boy was free. And there was a grim on the loose).

I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired.

Walking down to Hagrid's hut, Remus thought he saw something rustle in the bushes. He stepped off the path and looked closer, barely even breathing as his heart thundered, but the shadows that had lurked were gone. 

And you’d be standing in my front porch light.

“Lie low at Lupins.”

For the first time in twelve years, amber met grey. 

“Re,” Sirius croaked, and Remus shattered. He pulled Sirius inside the door quickly, shutting it and reinforcing all of the charms around his little cottage, drawing all the blinds shut and placing a charm around the area so he would know if anyone approached the house before he finally turned, and there he was. 

And I knew you’d come back to me.

Not Mass Murderer Sirius Black. 

Not even Padfoot. 

But Sirius. Remus’ Sirius. 

“Re,” Sirius said again, “It’s not true, it’s not true.” He said, repeating the words as he shook his head, eyes filling. “It’s not true, I would never.”

He would never.

Remus shook his head too, pulling Sirius into the tightest hug they ever might have shared. 

“I know.” He whispered. “I know.”

You’d come back to me.

Sirius after a few weeks of good food and warmth looked a lot more like the boy Remus had once known, but there was no denying the person with his was now a man. Remus supposed they both were. 

You’d come back.

“I love you.” Sirius whispered one night as they were curled under a blanket, Remus reading as Sirius lay on his chest, the position comforting and oh so familiar. 

“Do you think you could ever love me again?”

Remus’ heart cracked as he set down his book and curled his fingers gently around Sirius’ jaw, tilting his head so Remus could look into that swirling sea. 

“Love you again?” He said, his voice nearly cracking in disbelief. “Pads, how could I love you again when I never stopped?”

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan, under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favourite. 

“I can’t believe you still have this.” Sirius whispered, pulling the same cardigan he always stole out of the back of Remus’ drawer. 

“It used to smell like you.” Remus admitted. “But I wore it too much, I missed you too much.”

Sirius smiled, shrugging it on, it curling around his shoulders the way he curled into Remus, tilting his head up and pressing his lips against Remus’. 

“I can fix that.” He whispered and Remus held him close, taking his time. 

(For what else was the moon to do but love the stars?)

[footballfanfictions]

The thrill of the chase - Chapter Three

Pairings: Mason Mount/OC, Ben Chilwell/OC

Authors Note: Apologies again for how long this has taken to write, life has been absolutely manic the last couple of weeks. As always, I hope you enjoy this and feedback is gratefully received.

--------------------------------------------------------------

 He’s pinning me down against the bed, leaning over me. His hands are everywhere, touching and caressing me wherever he can reach and his mouth is on my neck, sucking a patch of skin to mark me.

My hands are in his hair and I’m tugging at it to get him to look at me, so that I can connect our mouths again, but when I pull his face to mine, it isn’t Ben anymore. It’s Rory.

I wake up from the fantasy in a cold sweat, my bed sheet stuck to my slick back and my pyjama top crumpled. I put my head into my hands and sob quietly. I’m not crying because I’ve had some sex dream about a footballer that snogged me. I’m crying because once again, I*’m thinking about my ex boyfriend and it’s becoming obsessive.

I sit up in bed and find myself checking his social media. His facebook has him check in to some fancy hotel in the Cotswolds with his girlfriend. They had met not long after we broke up. In fact, the gap between us breaking up and them supposedly meeting was so slim that it made me wonder if he had been talking to her before we called it quits. I had no proof of that of course, but that didn’t make me feel any better about any of it. I imagined the two of them sharing a bed together in their hotel room, enjoying the comfort of sleeping next to someone. It had been so long that I barely remembered what that felt like. 

I almost texted Bri, she would have been happy to talk even if I woke her, but I wasn’t quite ready to share what I had been thinking about recently. It would be hypocritical of Bri to judge me for thinking about Rory when all she went on about at the moment was making her ex jealous. That made me think of Billy and how much he liked her. I had this awful feeling that if he did ask Bri out that she would use it as an opportunity and not give him a fair chance. Billy did not deserve to be used like that. 

I ran my fingers through my damp hair and collected it into a ponytail, tying it with the band that I had kept around my wrist since letting my hair down before bed. I had this weird habit that whenever I was feeling stressed, needed to really concentrate on something or make a decision, I would always tie my hair up. Rory had always thought it was nuts. I had noticed from their instagram pictures that his girlfriend never really wore her hair up. I always called her that, his girlfriend because giving her a name would make her feel real, and maybe there was a part of me that didn’t want her to be real and still clung onto the idea that we were just on a break, exploring our careers and travelling only to come back together again, get married and have three kids and a dog. 

My parents had tried really hard to hide their devastation when I told them about the break up, telling me that there were plenty more fish in the sea and that the timing just wasn’t right for me to meet someone. They had then of course both reminisced about their university partners which had led to a row when my dad spoke about his university girlfriend Mandy a little bit too fondly. 

I stared down at my phone, deciding that I needed a distraction, and the best distraction was work. I logged out of my own instagram account and clicked on the first saved profile in my list. It was the player that I had been posting for the other day before Billy had his accident. I checked his recent posts and likes and nothing seemed to be out of place, except perhaps for the fact that it was around 3am and he was getting regular messages, the name Sam appearing on my screen once again.  By this point in my maddened, ex-stalking state I will admit that I was curious. I clicked the icon that took me to his inbox and began to read. 

They were conversing about his impending separation from his wife and about how they couldn’t wait to be together. I felt like throwing up in my mouth that one of the players that I worked with would behave like that, although I hadn’t really met this player in particular. His name was Jorginho and he was known as somewhat of a joker.  I kept out of his way for that very reason, not being a big fan of practical jokes and pranks.

I was about to close his inbox when another message came in.

What do we do about Ben?

I blinked and re-read the message several times. Ben? 

What on earth could Ben have to do with Jorginho cheating on his wife and leaving her for this woman, I wondered.

I clicked on her profile then and scrolled back through her pictures. She was a stunning brunette and her posts were mainly bikini pictures with the odd paid promotion thrown in here and there. I scrolled until a picture stopped me dead in my tracks. It was a picture of her with Ben, both smiling into the camera, their arms around each other and a caption that read ‘my everything’.

There were a few more pictures of them together and it was very evident that she had once been Ben’s girlfriend. At first I felt a bit numb, then I felt a pang of jealousy, and then I felt angry that she was conducting an affair with one of his team mates right under his nose and probably planning on lying to him about it.

I didn’t know what to do with this information.

He never has to know. I’m spending one more season here then my contract expires and we can go anywhere. 

I read his response, that confirmed what I feared. They were going to sneak around and hide this from Ben, probably until the divorce was finalised and then they would disappear off to another country and Ben would be left to read about it in the press. Unless i did something about it. 

 --------------------------------------------------------------

I had a meeting with Marina this morning. She commented that I seemed really distracted and I commented that I needed content other than Mason Mount to post onto social media. Marina had laughed and said that he was increasing our social media engagement and that we had new fans and shirt sales as a result of his appeal. I muttered something rude under my breath about what I thought about his appeal.

Marina and I had a really good working relationship and could banter with each other whilst still acting professionally and having a great deal of respect.

We had decided that I could capture my own content for our social media whenever I liked and would be provided with equipment such as a camera to enable me to. I had agreed to this to get me out of just posting Mason, but it did mean extra work for me, doubling up on the job of the club photographer and that I would need to spend more time outside on the pitches with the players, something I wasn’t sure I particularly fancied doing.

I hadn’t spoken to Ben since he kissed me, and now I felt even worse about it because I had been thinking about Rory, and had discovered that his ex and his team mate were sleeping together.

It was only the first of September, but I had started thinking about content for Halloween and maybe even thanks giving as we now had an American player at the club. 

I was just messing around with different shades of orange in photoshop when there was a knock on my office door. 

I got up from my desk slowly, silently praying that it wouldn’t be Ben because I couldn’t face him without blurting out the secret. 

Instead I had the displeasure of opening the door to find Mason Mount stood there.

“What do you want?” I sighed. 

“God you are sunshine and rainbows this morning. You look like you haven’t slept.” he said grinning. He was trying to make me laugh by jokingly insulting me and then cupped my face with his hands and started to stroke beneath my eyes with his thumbs. I was about to ask him what the bloody hell he was doing when he said “just smoothing out the wrinkles”. 

I shook him off and crossed my arms over my chest.

“Sorry.” he mumbled. 

I let him in then rather than the two of us just standing in the door way. He walked over to my desk and perched on the end exactly like Ben had done before he had kissed me. Except surely Mason wasn’t going to do that.

“What can I help you with?” I asked, trying my best to be polite to him. He had tried after all to make me laugh. It wasn’t his fault that I was so worried about everyone and everything else going on around here.

“I have a bit of a problem. My girlfriend is in this girl band and they are doing a music video next week that she wants me to be in so that they can get more views. The thing is, I’m not sure it really fits with my brand.” he explained, looking down at his shoes and the carpet, his eyes darting back up to me every few seconds while I considered a response. 

“Well footballers have been in music videos before without it affecting any of their sponsorship or brand deals.” I responded, thinking about the music video Fernando Torres had been in for a spanish band years ago. 

“Maybe it’s not my image i’m necessarily worried about. I feel a bit used but don’t know how to tell her.” as he spoke he looked vulnerable for the first time and the cheekiness was all gone. 

“So if I’m getting this right, they’re a band kind of breaking through and you being in the video would get them a lot of views and might get them really famous. Don’t you want your girlfriend to be successful?” as I asked him, he looked thoughtful, and then sad.

“I don’t really want to be with someone that now only wants me because I’m famous, and wants to leech fame from me.” he shrugged. 

I remembered the rant I had at him about how privileged he was for being rich and famous at such a young age, but I now started to consider that it must come with some drawbacks like not knowing if the people closest to you actually like you for who you are or if they want to use you for fame and fortune. 

“Well if you like, if they ask us for permission I will say no and that i need you for one of our campaigns whenever it is scheduled for and that it’s non negotiable because the club pays your wages.” He grinned and hopped off the edge of the desk. 

He made to step towards me but I held out my hand to stop him.

“No need to thank me.” 

He nodded and proceeded to head towards my office door. I stopped him just before he grabbed the handle by saying “Can I give you some advice? I don’ think that you should be with someone like that either.”

Without turning back to me, he sighed and responded “I don’t think that you should be with someone like Ben Chilwell”.

Before I could say anything else in response he opened the door and left

 ------------------------------------------------------

By lunchtime my brain was completely scrambled. I had busied myself with my idea for a thanksgiving tribute to Christian Pulisic the American player and planned special catering for the day to include a full turkey dinner in the canteen for him. That would of course give me the perfect opportunity for a post about how we are so thankful for him and want to make him feel at home. Marina would love it. 

I thought about hiding in my office until everyone returned to their jobs or their training and then going to the canteen, but I knew if I did that there would surely be no food left.

I was just loading my tray up with small items from the tapas menu when someone tapped me on the shoulder. Looking over it, I saw that it was Billy. His smile was 50-watt and could light up any room.

“Hey Billy, are you okay?” I asked him.

“Oh yes.” he nodded. “I’ve got a plan to ask ye friend out. Wanted to run it by you if you’re free?” 

I looked around and most of the tables were free so I agreed and said we could sit together and talk about it over lunch and that maybe Bri would join us if there wasn’t some kit emergency keeping her away. He smiled at that.

We sat down at a table by the window, a nice amount of sunshine came through it which warmed my back and the back of my neck nicely.

Billy went off immediately into explaining his plan to ask Bri out. He was going to have one of the lads accidentally rip his training shirt during the morning session so that he would have an excuse to go and see her.

“Hang on - tell me what day you’re planning this and I can distract her dad for a bit.” I interjected.

“Already got that covered sweetheart. He’s on a conference all of next week!” he grinned.

I looked puzzled and he laughed at the expression I was pulling. What kind of conference would a kit man need to go to? Were they brining out a new range or under armor or something like that?

“I know it sounds mad.” 

“It doesn’t just sound mad, it sounds like a good opportunity, go on.”I encouraged him.

He was going to fill one of the old unused offices with flowers and somehow convince Bri that she needed to follow him there so that he could ask her. It was so sweet and completely something that Bri would go for so I told him that his plan sounded brilliant and that I would help him in any way possible.

“I’m going to get her thinking about you in preparation you know.” I said, showing Billy a freshly edited picture of him on my phone screen that I was planning on posting that afternoon when I got back to my desk. “This beauty is going on all our social media pages. By the way, why did you never tell me that you used to model?”

He blushed bright scarlet when I brought up his modelling career and then we both descended into fits of laughter over it.

“You’re a really good friend, you know” he smiled. “If I can call you that.”

“Of course I’m your friend Billy.” I agreed.

“Well seeing as we are now best pals, do ye want to tell me what’s on your mind?” he asked.

I gulped, my mouth and throat suddenly feeling dry and uncomfortable. I couldn’t tell him what I had learnt about Jorginho, but maybe I could at least be honest about Rory.

“I had a really bad break up about a year ago and it’s still bothering me. Just you know, seeing other people happy and wondering what could have been.” I shrugged, trying to seem not fussed. I was bothered though and talking about it made the pain in my chest when I thought about him that little bit worse. I felt tears threatening to form.

Billy put his hand over mine and squeezed it.

“If you’re still following him or still friends on facebook, you need to delete him so that you can move on. Do you want me to do it for you?” he offered, holding his hand out to me for my phone.

Billy was right, I needed to let go of the part of me that still missed Rory, the part that felt jealous every time I saw what he was up to, and I could never get over that while it was accessible to me. 

I gave Billy my phone and told him Rory’s social media names even though he was the top person in all of my search history.

“Oh Katie, I’m sorry. It can’t have been nice to see him announce his engagement on here.” he said sympathetically.

It took a second for my brain and heart to catch up with each other and I felt sick to my stomach as I ask him to repeat himself.

I hadn’t heard him wrong and he showed me the post. I must have missed it by being so preoccupied with Ben’s situation. He had taken her to that fancy hotel in the Cotswolds to propose to her. Their grinning faces staring back at me from the picture didn’t feel like people I knew anymore.

“That’s that then. The end of that chapter of my life, officially.” I scraped my hair back and tied it up quickly.

“He’s gone from your virtual life too now.” Billy said, passing the phone back to me. 

“Thank you.” I said quietly. 

It’s hard to describe how you feel the second your hope for something shatters. The reality was that Rory was never going to realise that he had made a mistake and come back to me, because the reality was that we weren’t the same people we had been when we had first met at university and we had genuinely drifted apart. I could point the finger and blame him for possibly cheating, sure, but what good would that do me? Truth is we weren’t meant to be together and he hadn’t made a mistake. He had done the right thing to lead him to the person that he was supposed to be with. I just wished that I didn’t feel this way. I was sure that if I had moved on and met someone else my reaction would have been different. I might even have congratulated him. 

That evening I went home and cracked open a bottle of wine, and once I reached the bottom of it I cried myself to sleep.

[lesbiten]

THAT REMINDS ME. FIYERO SAYING “BUT WE DID” WAS ABSOLUTELY MALICIOUS. WHAT DID HE HAVE AGAINST GLINDA??? SHE LITERALLY DID NOT DESERVE THAT??? LIKE.

I just hate what they’ve done to Fiyero and it’s just.

What if instead of… Musical!Fiyero, he was instead like. A himbo who was only there to progress the plot, almost like a Manic Pixie Dream Boy but not really, and then he becomes an Animal Rights person who like. Commits crimes and stuff, which would make the only song worth removing ALAYM, and also, Elphaba and Fiyero solidarity in a way that isn’t creepy and unnerving, and like. I don’t know I just think that would make the love triangle a lot more compelling??? Especially since it was framed as Fiyero choosing between Elphaba and Glinda, when I personally think that it would’ve been better framed as Elphaba choosing Fiyero or Glinda??? AND ALSO LIKE. I FEEL LIKE IF FIYERO BECOMES A MARTYR AND WAY MORE EXTREME THAN ELPHABA THAT WOULD’VE BEEN A REALLY GOOD CONTRAST IN A WAY WHERE IT’S LIKE. Instead of Fiyero being the worst qualities of Elphaba and Glinda, it’d be like. Fiyero and Glinda being on opposing sides politically, and Elphaba has to like. Choose between the two??? I don’t know I feel like making Fiyero the literal opposite of Gale Force would be better??? Also, that would make No Good Deed make a lot more sense imo??? Like. Fiyero becoming a martyr for the cause of Animals and becoming a staunch supporter, and it’s like. Not only would Elphaba lose a close friend (and possible love interest but I don’t really care much for that perspective tbh) she would also lose like. A confidante and someone who she could trust to do the right thing??? Also, making Act 2!Fiyero’s character more than literally just “Obsessed with Elphaba”????

I feel like it made no sense for Fiyero to be a Gale Force person when like. Animal Rights Revolutionary was RIGHT THERE

But also I think that was somewhat already in the books if the fanfic I’ve read says anything but like. Idk, if they’re gonna completely rewrite Wicked, might as well do it in a way that’s compelling????

Like. They had it with Glinda and having a complete arc but like. I feel like if instead of pitting them against each other making it like. Irreconcilable differences in execution would’ve been better??? But also like. I feel like the contrast would’ve been really interesting because somehow, I think that both Fiyero and Glinda, if they were on opposite sides, they would operate in nearly the same way??? Like. I feel like it would be intensely strategy driven in an almost cold way, while Elphaba would provide a contrast of being intensely emotion driven??? tl;dr there was so much potential

FIRST OF ALL YEAH it just feels like an extra punch in the face that she did not need or deserve and the fact that it was SO EASY for him to say it is just like. worrying. upsetting. screaming and crying. fiyero why do u need to be mean to glinda WHAT HAS SHE EVEN DONE TO DESERVE IT? NOTHING.

anyways yeah the whole concept of fiyero and glinda being on the opposing end of the political spectrum, with glinda working for the wizard [albeit against her will] and fiyero actively working to overthrow him. i think that fiyero becoming an animal rights activist because in the short amount of time he spent with elphaba, he realized he didn't have to dumb himself down and he SHOULD fight for what he believes in, i think that would've been some fun character development that created a natural connection between his character in act 1 and his character in act 2.

the fact that fiyero helps elphaba with the lion cub in the first act and kind of has an "oh shit" moment would lead you to believe he'd have dropped the silly rich boy persona, especially after elphaba went missing, but...no? he still does keep up at least part of that persona in public, even if begrudgingly, and has quite literally joined the very system that elphaba was fighting so hard to destroy. it kind of just leaves you wondering what the hell happened between acts for fiyero to have decided not only to stay with glinda despite clearly being unhappy, but also why he would have joined the gale force to look for elphaba when he could've been spending that time fighting for her cause. idk!

but yeah it also definitely would've added more to his character than being obsessed with elphaba because as it stands that's kind of all he reads as. he's a walking red flag he quite literally loses all of his personality traits from act 1 and becomes unbearably weird. why.

and also agreed that it would add some substance behind no good deed. because look. i love that song it fucks severely but the fact that it's centered almost entirely around fiyero meanwhile elphaba hardly knows him and has just seen him for the first time in YEARS makes it feel......very empty. when she mentions nessa and dillamond it makes sense to me because well. nessa is her sister (fun fact) and dillamond was the only adult who showed her kindness and also she worked with him constantly. but then when it gets to the Big One and its fiyero........? like. i don't know. their relationship just didn't Exist enough prior to that moment for fiyero to BE the focus of that song. y'know. just strange to me

tl;dr there was so much potential :pensive:

[the-sympathetic-villain]

U!patton and Remus for the Remus prompt. my friend and I had an idea where Patton forces Remus to wear a muzzle so he can’t talk

Okay, I don't know how to write short prompts so I went a little overboard on this. I also threw in some protective Janus just for fun. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it! <3

Pure Thoughts

Description: Remus makes his way over to the light side of the Mindscape to patch up his relationship with Virgil, but he doesn't quite make it to his friend.

Characters: Remus, Patton, Janus, Virgil and Logan Mentioned Pairings: Platonic Dukeciet Word Count: 3256 Warnings: Remus-Type Content (Sexual Innuendo, Somewhat Graphic Descriptions, Etc), Threats, Attempted Erasing of a Side, Swearing, Death mention, Angst with a happy ending, Hurt/Comfort, Unsympathetic Patton (Let me know if I missed anything!)

---

Remus poked his head into the dim, empty corridor of the mindscape, pausing to check for the other sides before tiptoeing around the corner. Any other night, he'd be making his way down the hall with cymbals on the feet and a kazoo in his mouth, but tonight was the night to be covert. For once, he was actually trying not to be noticed, and notably, he was succeeding. Which was as perfectly satisfying as his pet eldritch demon's tentacle slime, because the last time he'd made one of his more spectacular entrances in their shared spaces, the Microsoft Nerd™ had nearly blown a gasket.

He'd lectured Remus for nearly forty-five minutes about ‘optimal sleep schedules’ and ‘the importance of brushing your teeth’ or whatever the dork had been saying. Quite frankly, Remus hadn't been listening. Learning from his mistakes wasn't exactly his jam, and if nerdy Wolverine’s brain was too full of Crofter’s to have realized that, that seemed like a him problem.

Besides, that was the past. Right now, the future seemed so much juicer. His fabulously favorite emo had eased up on his prickly sarcasm enough to give him a chance to talk things out, and as ambivalent as he may pretend to be, he wasn’t going to pass on the opportunity to make amends with his old friend. He wanted to salvage any small piece of their damaged relationship, so here he was, sneaking into the light sides' half of the mindscape to duke it out with his anxious nightmare.

The only challenge left was passing the other light sides’ rooms. Virgil's room of course had of course moved to the farthest corner of their space, making it the most difficult to reach without being noticed. Of course, he could make it easy if he cut across the common room. That way,  he'd miss Roman’s room entirely and the only one he'd have to worry about was—

“Hey, kiddo.”

Remus head spun on his shoulder to the sound of Patton’s voice. The usually friendly father figure's familiar voice filled the room with a soft kind of seriousness that sent shivers down Remus' spine. The chill in Patton's voice was new and unsettling, but still, Remus cracked a cocky grin as he stared into the shadows and waited for Patton's lecture. After a moment, the lamp on the far side of the room clicked on to reveal a seriously scary looking frown on Patton’s face. Remus straightened upright as a tingling of fear crept up his arms. The creep factor of the amber lighting alone would have put Remus' own efforts to shame, but this was Patton.

Pun-loving, puppy cuddling Patton.

Patty boy’s harmless.

Right?

Remus swallowed nervously before summoning up his usual carefree front and staggering across the soft carpet. “Hey, Padre. Sorry, if you were looking for a late night suck, but I'm actually in a bit of a hurry. Maybe later—”

“Language, Remus.”

Remus stalled at the coldness in Patton’s tone. He licked his lips. The hostility in the air was nearly palpable as Remus stared across the room, trying to get a gauge on this new side Patton. It wasn't often one of the other sides left Remus speechless, but he was unsure of how to react to such an open display of hostility, especially from the side whose entire being was rigged toward being nurturing. Oh, well. There wasn't much else for him to do and he was on a schedule tonight. Remus let out a breath, falling back on familiar habits as an attempt to cover his exit. “Don't get your panties in a bunch, Patty daddy. I know you’re not the type blow and go without a sticky emotional mess, but you don’t have to worry—”

“You’re not going, Remus.”

Remus’ grin faltered at the finality in Patton’s voice, biting his lip as he eyed the direction of Virgil's room. “Um, what?”

“Virgil’s been doing so good.” Patton growled as he rose to his feet. Remus' feet felt like lead holding him in place while Patton moved to block his way. “I finally got my kiddo realizing how toxic you are to him and I’m not going to let you play with him anymore.”

Remus' mustache twitched with displeasure at the insinuation, though a part of him wasn't denying Patton's brusque statement. “Listen, Pattycake. As well as you play the daddy dom role, Virgil asked for me to come and I don’t see where this is your business, so I'll just be—"

“Virgil needs help knowing what's good for him.” Patton continued as a deep hatred started to burn in his eyes. “and that isn't you, Remus.”

Remus brushed him off, starting towards the door. He'd only made it a few steps before Patton waved his hand the door disappeared. Defensiveness turned to frustration as he reeled on Patton. “You can't just—”

“Go back to the whole where you belong before force you into your place.”

Remus froze as Patton's stomp connected with the ground, sending a shiver across his skin as the particles of his body destabilized. A choking breath caught in his throat and his hands shot to his chest in a manic frenzy as his body solidified again. He glanced up at the dangerous sparkle in Patton's eye. Remus was alive for now, but he got the feeling Patton wasn’t done with him yet.

“Hold on, Pat. Let's talk about this—” A bead of sweat dripped down Remus temple as he began stepping away from the door. His hands lingered in the air as he tried to reason with Patton. “—I thought we were good. The human pocket protector told you it was best to play nice with me. I get you don't like me, and it don’t have to be an orgy or nothing, but you can't just piss all over the nerd's hypoth—”

“Shut up.”

Remus sucked in a sharp breath as a black, leather muzzle appeared over his face. The leather molded to his skin as his hands shot to his face in a sudden manic moment of fear. Desperately, he pulled at the leather with all the force he could muster as the glowing rage in Patton’s eyes slowly backed him into a corner.

“I'm sick of you bullying Logan and dragging Virgil down.” The lights in the room flickered as Patton cried out and shoved Remus to the ground. “I don't care what Thomas says or Logan thinks. You don’t deserve to stay. Thomas is better off without you."

Remus hesitated. His hands lingered on the muzzle as his eyes flitted the door back to his own room. He knew he could retreat to his own room, but the idea of letting Virgil think he’d stood him up gave him pause. The choice was made for him a moment later when  Patton’s power vibrated in the air and Remus let out a muffled cry as he felt his being wavering. The particles of his body began to weaken and fade as his resistance crumbled. He was unable to push back or even speak as Patton started to force him into the subconscious.

“Virgil will be disappointed when he realizes you forgot about him,” Patton whispered as Remus tipped his head up to meet the horrifying smile spread across Patton's face. “but he'll understand once you’re gone. I'll make sure he knows how bad you really are.”

Panic shot to Remus’ heart as he clutched at his fading body, choking as the muzzle as it grew tighter on his lips.

“I should have put that muzzle on you years ago." Patton’s laugh cracked in his ear. “Your silence is music to my ears. Finally, we can be good. Thomas can be good without you hear to ruin—"

“Is everything okay in here?”

Remus let out a heaving breath as his body hit the ground. He clutched his hands to his body, feeling around to make sure he was still fully there as Patton's grip loosened on him.

“Mind your own business, Janus.”

“Remus is my business. You made it clear years ago that he is my responsibility.” A flicker of worry flashed over Janus' eyes as Remus glanced up to him, but his gaze remained cold and distant as he maintained eye contact with Patton. “In fact, I think I'll be taking him now.”

Remus fingers raised to his lips as Patton’s muzzle fell away at Janus’ snap. His body was numb as Janus moved between him and Patton, extending a hand down to him. Remus swayed, staring at the fury in Patton's eyes as Janus pulled him to his feet.

“You have no right—”

“I think you'll find that I'm quite within my rights to do as I please.” Janus muttered as he absently brushed the dust from Remus’ shirt and shot a deathly glare at Patton. "but if you want to test that theory, I have no problem getting Thomas involved.”

Patton growled his discontent as Janus stepped forward to shield Remus from Patton's gaze. The silence hung over them, weighing heavy on Remus' shaking body, until the air shifted and Patton took a step back. “Keep him away from Virgil or I may not be so forgiving next time.”

“Don’t worry. You've won this battle, Morality, but I hope you know that Virgil will start to question your iron grip on him eventually. I taught him better than to simply follow others.” Janus muttered bitterly. His head bowed in reluctant acceptance of Patton's good grace, though his voice remained rebellious as their eyes remained locked together. “ He will not accept your word on blind faith.”

“Virgil will learn not to question me when he realizes how toxic you are to him. He can be molded into something better, unlike the cretin you're using so much of your dwindling energy to protect.” Patton spat as he turned to the door. “Now, go back to your hole before I change my mind."

“Remus, go.” Janus shoved him to the door.

“But—”

“For once in your life, don’t argue with me.” Janus muttered as he guided the shell-shocked Remus back to the dark sides' hallway. His voice dropped after a few steps and he glanced down at Remus. “Not a single word until he can't hear us. Got it?”

Remus nodded, still numb as Janus dragged him toward his own room. He could hear Janus’ breathing become heavy as he guided Remus through the narrowing hallways with an unnatural speed, not stopping until they reached Remus' black door at the end of the hallway.

“Jan—”

“Not yet, Re.” Janus whispered as he cast one last suspicious glance down the empty hallway before shoving Remus inside the narrow door frame.

“Janus, what the h—”

Remus' diatribe was knocked out of him as Janus' body slammed into his chest. He froze as Janus' arms curled around him, unsure of how to process the man's tight grip. He tensed, ready to struggle when he realized Janus was actually hugging him.

“Are you hurt?”

“What? No—” Remus whispered. His body went limp as released him enough to look him up and down. “I'm—I'm fine, Jan.”

“I'm going kill that self-righteous bastard.” Janus seethed. His grip on Remus' shoulders tightened as he stared past Remus to the closed door. “How dare he threaten you—”

“Janus—”

“—and especially when you were actually working to make things right with Virgil—"

“I don’t—” Remus blinked as Janus' words registered in his mind. "Wait, how did you know that's what I was—"

“I mean, where does he even get off thinking he can control Virgil's life without his input anyway?" Janus growled, gesturing abruptly to the door. "Virgil isn’t some helpless child. He’s able to make his own decisions—"

“Am I on fucking mute or something?”

“—and you!” Janus spat, gesturing towards the Remus. Remus immediately flinched at Janus' anger, though he wasn’t sure what he'd done to deserve the lying side's ire. “He could have killed you—”

"What?" Remus flailed as Janus grabbed the collar of his shirt like a disobedient child. “Hey, that's not fair! I didn’t know that Pattoncake was secretly a sadist—”

“You should have been more careful—"

Remus' head reeled as Janus spun him around, but he managed to stifle his nausea long enough to shout at Janus. “Jan—For fuck's sake, either fuck me or take my head off your fucking chopping block—”

Janus blinked, finally taking in Remus' red face as he swayed uneasily in Janus' grip. “What?”

"Listen, I like it rough and all but if I knew that you could manhandle me like that—" Remus blinked blearily as Janus loosened his grip. "Fuck the possibilities are endless, but—"

"Remus, I'm really not in the mood for your games tonight—"

“I'm not playing—Just ignore all of that. I needed to get your attention because you wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise. ” Remus muttered, waving his hands as he found his bearings. “Jan, you—you frickin' saved me.”

"Now is the time you decide to censor yourself?"

"I'm trying to give you a compliment, Janus." Remus cut him off with a wave of his arms. "Hello, I wasn't expecting to become a damsel in distress but you make a hell of a knight in shining armor to have actually stepped in to save me.

“Of course, I saved you." Janus muttered after a moment, dipping his head in embarrassment. "I felt Patton’s emotions start to well up. I knew he was going to cause trouble and I wasn't about to leave you to his mercy.”

“What so you mean you felt him?” Remus mouth dropped in confusion.

Janus shrugged as his gaze dropped to the ground, still agitated. “I feel a lot of things Patton does.”

“But why?” Remus growled angrily as Janus clammed up. "Just spit it out already, Jan—"

“Because he's Thomas’ biggest lie.” Janus blurted out without thinking, gesturing to the door.

“What?” Remus whispered as he watched Janus begin to pace the room.

“The source of Thomas’ morality is corrupt.” Janus yelled, though he was quickly losing steam. “Not Thomas himself. God, not Thomas. But his insistence on clinging to his purity complex and thinking he can please everyone if he just tries hard enough—It's the most insidious evil that's ever taken root in him.

Remus went quiet as Janus explained and everything suddenly began to click into place.

“Thomas can't just turn his attention away from every reality he doesn't like.” Janus shrugged as he looked up at Remus. “Trying to eliminate anything uncomfortable or unpleasant in his life is a slippery slope to much more dangerous ideas.”

“Okay,sure, but this is still happy pappy, sunshine-coming-out-of-his-ass Patton. You sure you don't got a screw loose in that big brain of yours?” Remus managed to blurt out in exasperation. The scene had just played out before his own eyes,  but he couldn't help that his brain turned to fuzz every time he attempted to process it. “Ya know? Maybe, we’re in a some sort of shared delusion.  I mean, I know he's cute and all but now's not the time to think with your other head—”

"Remus," Janus let out an exasperated sigh as he glared at Remus. “I know you can’t help it but I would strongly prefer you think before you speak, like a normal person—”

“But, Jan. Come on—"

“His perceived innocence is part of the ruse, Remus. Why do you think Thomas' Logic is blind to his actions?” Janus muttered as his voice became nearly manic. "Why do you think his Creativity fawns over him and his Anxiety is soothed by him?"

Remus giggled as the human side of Janus' face became a brilliant shade of red. "Couldn't just be that he's just more personable than you, Janus?"

"Remus, I swear I'll strangle you myself—"

“Ya know, it's not often I'm the one fighting to talk over you.” Remus interrupted as he giggled and leaned into Janus' fury with a crooked grin. “If I knew you'd get all hot and bothered by Patty getting rough with me, I would’ve shoved my—"

“If you value your life, you will not finish that thought.” Janus muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “This is serious, Remus. You—You could have died.”

“Everything’s always serious, Jan-Jan. You should give yourself a break.” Remus grinned, gesturing up and down at himself. "Do I look dead to you?"

“I know, but—”

Remus' grin widened as he rambled. “I mean, I've got a plan for when the heart attack kills you and all, but I'm not like dying to use it.”

“That's not the—Wait, you do?”

“Well, yeah. I wouldn't let you go out without a bang." Remus' grin widened as Janus turned up him curiously. "Figured I'd have some fun with it and put your head under someone’s covers. It’s very Godfather-esque.”

“Huh—" Janus leaned back, suddenly contemplative to Remus' proposal. "To whom would you do this?”

“Well, not Pattycake anymore.” Remus laughed, patting Janus on the back. “Maybe, Roman though. He needs good jolt every once in a while.”

“He certainly could stand to come down a few notches on his ego.” Janus sighed, rolling his eyes. He paused, finally taking a breath as he stared at Remus unfaltering smile. “I have no idea how you're managing to stay calm after what just happened."

“Well, that's easy." Remus purred with cocky smile as he leaned into Janus. “I got my big, bad protector here with me.”

"I got lucky, Remus." Janus huffed. “If I hadn't have been paying attention to Patton's power flaring up,  you would've—”

“Whatever, you felt that Patty boy was about to turn me to dust and you showed up.” Remus brushed off Janus' excuses. “That means something, Jan—Means a lot to me actually.”

Janus blinked as he looked up to the suddenly serious expression on Remus' face.

“The deadly dad freaked me out and I have to admit he had me kinda buying the story that I'm not that great of an influence on Virgil—” Remus sighed as he let his grin dropped away. “— or Thomas even, but I figure if you saved me, I can’t actually be all bad.”

“You’re not bad, Remus.”

“Yeah, well, even I need a reminder of that every once in a while.” Remus smiled. He shifted on his feet as he looked up at Janus. “So, thanks.”

“Anytime, Re.” Janus smirked at Remus' sincere smile. "I've always got your back."

“I know you do.” Remus breathed with a worried glance back at his door. “Saving me might have been the easy part though, Jan. Patton didn't seem like he was gonna let our Stormy Nightmare go.”

“Virgil will see through his lies,” Janus breathed as tasted the air. “The power's shifting and he can't hold me back forever. We aren't going down without a fight, and once Thomas sees his true nature, the game's over for Morality.”

“Well, better get cracking then,” Remus grinned. “before Patton finishes brainwashing 'em all.”

Janus nodded with a glance at the wall as a sudden chill ran up his spine. He could feel someone watching, but he supposed it didn’t matter. There was no turning back now. “Yes, Remus. I think it’s time to start pushing back.”

---

@justanotherhumanstuff @im-an-anxious-wreck @shadowyplaidpurseegg