every now and then i forget how bad my chronic illnesses are and every now and then my body is like 'hmmm you seem to have forgotten what it's like to be cripplingly bedridden and disabled and we don't want you to forget' and then i'm reminded and it feels a little like being yeeted into a granite cliff wall at full speed and leaving a dent
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adding to my tags because i’ve been thinkin a lot about the post i just reblogged and have more thoughts:
i’ll be real, the more i saw ‘hey adhd influencers are so annoying’ the more i worried that i was unconsciously contributing to the spreading reputation of adhd folks as annoying and over-pathologizing every symptom they experience
and then i realized. i am not a goddam influencer or life coach or representative. obviously i have some obligation as someone who cares about myself and the people that like my comics to not spread harmful ideology or blatant misinformation but i never intended myself to be a “’increase your productivity!!’ blog OR a ‘if you have XYZ you have adhd!’ blog. and i do this for fun, and originally started this blog bc i had a lot of internalized shame and self loathing about my adhd and thought if i could make it funny i might have less of that. let’s get real! and it worked!
i’ve obviously done this kind of thing— (hey these symptoms might be adhd!) a lot before in my life & on this blog, but there’s more to it than trying to be an “influencer” or whatever. a term that didn’t even exist when i started this blog!
i felt very isolated trying to find out if i had any mental problems & what have you originally because of large advice (etc) blogs with staunchly anti self Dx views at the time
so i overcorrected when i DID get dxed and tried to validate everyone who was like me. and of course. not the best course of action always for the ol mental health. tried to be the source of positivity and jokes that i didn’t see because the online adhd presence was near non-existent.
and anyway. i make a lot of fun of myself & the way m brain works in my comics obviously but it is not my obligation to... how do you say.... not be annoying online.
because if folks interpret MY little jokes as a strict guide to diagnosis. that’s on them, really, not me. i also believe “making adhd your entire personality” is a non-issue. so what if people find out they have it and get over excited with identifying as adhd. saying this as someone who DID do it. criticism of this gives the same vibes as people being annoyed that young queers make “being queer” their whole personality. im very obviously more than a guy with adhd, and id reckon other adhd comic artists are too. (im friends with a lot of them!) it’s fine to post about it online.
anyway. i just don’t take myself too seriously and i’m a comic artist for myself first! and you know what, i’ve been considered annoying my entire life. what do i care if a few more folks think i’m annoying. neurotypical or not
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A few moments before twelve the cream-coloured zone in the north brightened to an orange hue, and precisely at noon half of the form of the sun ascended above the ice. It was a misshapen, dull semicircle of gold, heatless, rayless, and sad. It sank again in a few moments, leaving almost no colour and nothing cheerful to remember through the seventy long days of darkness which followed.
Dr. Frederick Cook, staring down the barrel of being the medical professional responsible for getting all these guys through the next three six ten thirteen months:
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the arguments against self diagnosing any illness sound very funny when you’re a chronically ill guy that’s been trying to get diagnosed for almost a decade with something 90% of doctors don’t even believe in or blatantly don’t care about and they will say directly to your face “yeah so you have all the signs of this and we’ve ruled out a lot of other things but we just don’t know enough about it so we cant diagnose you” and diagnosis wouldn’t even get you the resources you need because those resources barely exist in the first place slash we don’t know what would help because, see above, medical professionals deny the existence of this very real condition or set of conditions, and so there isn’t enough funding or research behind it. the ouroboros of a terrible healthcare system should not stop you from trying to determine what resources you need even if that means just saying you have the thing so you can move forward. if you need treatment for xyz symptoms, even if you do not necessarily have the condition most associated with those symptoms, you still need treatment. there is not a real house md out there cooking up the perfect diagnosis to your condition while violating many professional and ethical boundaries that i would absolutely let him violate if he could, you know, accurately diagnose and treat me. instead you have to do what you can do with what you have and if you disagree that it is necessary to “”play the system”” to get potentially life saving care, then you have never had the marginalized usamerican experience and i wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy but if you keep insisting self diagnosis is the problem, instead of like, the horrors of capitalism, i wish you stuck in a doctors office for an hour and a half only for them to suggest you might feel better if you take a multivitamin or lose some weight.
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I feel like the idea that sleep studies being done on women is a recent thing might not be true bc i so distinctly remember my mother telling me to not calculate how much i sleep based on the "8h rule" bc women need 9h at least. But i still wonder if the prevalence of the "7-8h of sleep" rule could be a reason for why so many women (who require 9-10h, an extra hour during menstruation) have chronic fatigue. Like how much is actual chronic issue and how much is medical misogyny. Likewise for the fact that women tend to have heart attacks more frequently, given it's known that sleep deprivation can make one more susceptible to heart issues.
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OCD folks, what is your advice for people who are probably undiagnosed? how do you take care of yourselves and combat the thoughts/impulses?
im pretty sure and im pretty sure my therapist knows it too, but im not ready to admit it bc i know theyre going to agree and im not sure im ready for it to be real
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the thing about listening to podcasts is that no matter how hard the podcasters are trying they will always pull moves like this mystery novel podcaster and her guest seemingly not knowing the word "misogyny" and apparently trying to recreate the concept by just repeating "toxic masculinity and patriarchy" a few times to each other
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