#we have a pretty strong community rn but not as strong as i think we could be. plus pretty disjointed

[curedeity]

Hey just gonna put this here but ive been thinking a lot recently about how to encourage and support the beyblade ficwriting community. Were pretty small, even if were determined, and already at a disadvantage with ao3 as the most popular site we gotta use (yes i believe in insulting ao3 at every opportunity given). I wanted to know if anyone had any way theyd like to be supported.

Feel free to reblog this with ideas, put them in my inbox, dm me, whatever!

Also artists, also feel free to send in ways you might wanna interact with the ficwriting community more! Id love to hear

On that note if youre on ao3 youve prob seen the safe beyblade fics collection! Feel free to recommend fics to be in it! We're hoping to make it a good place to go to find more curated fics

[system-of-a-feather]

Alternative System Mind Mapping Method for Communication

[DISCLAIMER: This is not a professional or scientifically or anything really backed method, this is something coming solely from peer / personal experience.]

In regards to an anon ask earlier, I was thinking about it and one of the ways we've approached improving communication - particularly internal - in a way that is a lot less prone to flooding or dealing with trauma or anything too overwhelming - is by approaching it following the concept of Memory Webs

I haven't read up on them recently, but "Memory Webs" were a thing that our AP Psychology teacher in highschool made us do because the AP Psych test was term / jargon heavy. Memory in the human brain has been shown to be HEAVILY associative and the ability to remember and connect things tends to rely on following a "web" of connected topics, ideas, concepts etc from one idea to the next.

So in our AP Psych class, she gave us these GIANT books for Vocabulary Webs that we had to slowly work on, each of which required 6 other vocab words / related concepts, a summarized definition, and an image to represent it. By doing this, you added 6 cues to recall the word (increasing the chance you'd remember it), a visual cue, an episodic memory of working on it, and a definition - all in all improving how connected the word is to other concepts in your brain and making it easier to recall it.

I personally like to look at DID and our parts in a similar manner sometimes where the large issue is that a lot of the nodes in the web of associations are either disconnected or connected through a hard-to-find and/or small chain. In that sense, parts struggle to be held together because they are not associated concepts. It's hard to reach other parts because the dissociative walls (which in our unsubstantiated opinion is less a 'wall' and more so a lack of reinforced neural connections, so I would call them dissociative caverns) keep associations from forming

As a result, alternative to more traditional ways of mapping your system and parts, a method I've liked to internally visualize systems and navigating system dynamics is through a memory web manner. (I actually have never done it physically cause the Ray part of my brain - also the most prominent part writing this rn - rarely liked to front if he didn't have to and did a lot of stuff internally)

Here's a bit of a breakdown using six of our parts if any of you want to try it out.

We personally like it because it strips a lot of trauma and stress off of it and makes it a lot more of a positive and present engaging activity. For the purposes of this, I'll be using the free online app of Milanote cause we've used it before for OC associative webs and I think it'll do fine enough. (Honestly it actually might just be a good way to log alter information now that I'm looking at it if you are at a place in recovery where keeping track of that physically helpful)

So we can start by dropping down the parts we want to include in the form of boards

So from here, we have a bunch of disconnected parts. However, we find that a lot of these parts have things that mean a lot to them, that illicit a strong emotion or reaction from them.

Some parts may lack it more than others (often in our case trauma holders and/or trauma locked parts) and that's okay and to be expected. This is a visualization method and if there isn't much connecting a part that is 100% okay.

For demonstration sake, I will now add bubbles around each part of things that were pretty early apparent that each individual liked.

Also for the purposes of how I know our system works and how I plan to do this, I am actually moving Riku to the center and you will all see why Riku is such an S tier center point with this model

So you can see some connections forming.

Some key things you can take from this visual that also applied to earlier stags of how we connected

Lucille and Riku are and have always been pretty darn connected, they go back as one of the longest duos and were split almost as a pair to deal with academics

Chunn and Ray have a very shared interest of "I don't want to do anything leave me alone"

XIV literally was just a piece of shit early on and didn't have any immediate HARD connections with anyone largely because he never was interested in actually engaging in things he liked in a positive way as his "favorite emotion" at the time was "being pissed off"

Lin - an originally trauma stuck / loop - is very very poorly associated with anything that isn't overtly trauma related (and that is saying something cause Vocaloid is trauma related) and thus has very few connections to other parts

So looking at this though, there are a few things that have some similarities between parts. What you can do is make plans to try to foster the interests that you do have and try to generalize it a bit more to also encompass what interests other parts have. So lets engage in hobbies a little more - explore a few concepts that mean a lot to parts independently - and find some more generalized version of those hobbies

(forgot to add easy listening to Ray's and "only wearing monochrome*" to XIV's earlier) (*there are a lot of nuances and caveats)

Damn, look at that. It's messy and ugly to have in a 2D form. I absolutely hate it, this would be so impossible with our whole system. But HEY, it's very connected - and that's the goal.

Compared to the previous one, you can see how easily it can be for one part's interests to start to drift into another. Because they are largely and strongly associated features to each part, they are a lot more accessible when engaging in their shared / associated connections and interests which makes it easier for the them to stay together near the front, stay associated with one another, and work with and communicate with one another.

Of course anyone following this blog goes "Where tf is Birds" and that I left out because it would ruin the point of the web as it actually is one of our traditional "you are around the system a lot? okay pick a bird" which serves to 1) be a fun system culture thing 2) be a means of welcoming a part in and 3) helps establish a foundational connection; we do the same with music but with music its a lot more elaborate and I probably wont explain it for other reasons.

But overtime, by fostering interests that were already present and encouraging parts to broaden and generalize their specific interest a bit, you end up with a lot of overlapping associations that can greatly improve internal communication, co-fronting ability, and just general fluidity and easy of moving around the brain web.

It becomes a good way of trying to figure out what you can do to encourage and help build connections and associations between parts by seeing where things are similar / could have more overlap (combat and martial arts, different types of fashion, different types of music, different appreciation for arts, taking over the world, yada yada yada)

And you wanna know the coolest thing? When you step back from the whole web you can see certain things appear that stand out the most and have some of the most connections.

If you ever intend to go to Final Fusion, those are the things that will likely be the most prominent traits of your whole self

For us? [REDACTED BIRDS for the point of the demonstration], Music, Fashion, Taking over the World, Recovery and Healing, Buddhism, Martial Arts, Arts in general - they're all some of our largest traits that persist in almost all forms as individual parts, partially fused parts, and fully fused parts.

And the BEST part? Doing this didn't require us to touch trauma at all.

Of course in recovery that will come up cause PTSD doesn't ask permission, but its a very low stress way to help improve internal communication and engagement with one another.

[mikakuna]

I mean this neutrally, but which characters are actually being written by people who are fans and understand them? I feel like half the characters are ooc rn

im not up to date with other characters' comic runs recently so i mean more in the sense of the character's foundation. for example, bruce and dick have amazing foundations for their character and what their character stands for, their personality, their morals, etc. they have so many special relationships, both platonic and romantic. as comic characters, they've had the time and space to develop as interesting and dynamic characters.

they definitely have their ooc comic runs like gotham war for bruce, but at the end of the day, they'll always have numerous comics that are true to their character and are amazing in itself.

for jason on the other hand, his foundation comes from his original robin run in the 80s and his debut as red hood in utrh/lost days. utrh and lost days set jason's character and gave us a pretty strong idea of who he is as a person (i.e., his morals, personality, and perspectives). it continued off his 80s robin run, where we got to see jason todd for the first time and got to know him as a hero instead of anti hero. we see his relationships with his bio family, step mom, bruce, and the things he likes/dislikes. we see from the beginning that jason has a more grey perspective on life due to his own experiences. all we see in the 80s builds to what we see in utrh and lost days.

but then all of a sudden, so many comics after utrh forget who jason actually is. they have him hurt a kid despite his strong stance on protecting children. he somehow kills like he can't control himself and only batman can stop him. he's an impulsive brute who thinks with his fists. he's not as intelligent as everyone else. jason, the kid who grew up homeless and surrounded by impoverished communities whose circumstances ruined their lives, somehow has a lot less empathy now.

jason's character is constantly contradicted. he's never given a chance to grow and develop relationships. everything he does is confined by the bats. he doesn't have a proper foundation because many of his writers know nothing of his backstory and just write him as a selfish, impulsive asshole despite everything we see of him in his robin run and in utrh that contradicts that.

when i compare jason's writing to the bats, i really only mean bruce, dick, and tim since the others are iffy as well when it comes to writing (racism, sexism).

[9w1ft]

Although all these days I struggled to understand the concept of LSK or if Kaylor really are together still etc, Hudson Valley really sealed the deal for me. For reasons best known to Kaylor themselves, they definitely have chosen to live their life the way they do. Aaron posting Taylor in Hudson Valley same time as Karlie raised enough eyebrows for their PR teams to kick in and start diverting everyone's attention to Travlor instead. Cue the dinner, tonight's concert, extra PDA, karma line change etc. I see the reoccurring patterns clearly now.

I can't help but feel sad though that this is how they choose to live and of course no pressure for them to pick otherwise but I do hope someday they will decide to drop this facade and openly be together. Love your work btw and it's from your posts that I really started to believe in LSK :)

thank you for this message! and yeah, i think if you stick around and look at the big picture it makes a lot of sense and then things like what you mention above just kind of stick out a little more when they happen. and they happen from time to time.

i understand what you mean by feeling sad, though if you will allow me to go on a tangent,

i think i would be inclined to feel more sad for their situation if they were just everyday women in love with each other but unable to express it solely because of social inequality related to sexuality. but when i think of their entire situation, i know there are more factors involved than just the particularity of who they love. being a celebrity, for example, puts an additional variable into their story that makes the idea of them coming out more complicated and potentially dangerous, and thus potentially less beneficial to them on a personal level. coming out won’t necessarily make things automatically better, because the eyes of the world are on them and a lot of them are hostile. and that’s an anxiety we might not understand. so i try to think about it like that, and place the goal not at a universal ideal but more at a local ideal, the goal of their love persisting and persevering against the odds. i still find a lot of meaningfulness there.

i think we might assume they must be unhappy in their situation, and i’m not saying they can’t be, but i think assuming they are unfulfilled creates a perception that these things they do are painful for them when it might not be the case. i say this because i feel that over the years they’ve been able to sort out and be honest about what they want and what they don’t want, and how to go about things in a way that doesn’t invite miscommunication. looking at taylor’s discography i think there were absolutely years and instances where they weren’t communicating their best, and that both got hurt for different reasons. but i get the strong sense from a growing collection of songs that they’ve put in the work to be on the same page and have found something that works for them.

i don’t want to dismiss anybody that sees them do things and is hurt by it. she basically invented the book on parasocial engineering and i still have my feelings about miss americana and how that clearly set people with expectations. but i think taylor was pretty clear with midnights that she’s doing her thing rn and shining bright. and that she doesn’t want people to mistaken her as a guiding light.

so i think at some point it’s up to each of us as individuals to assess what it is that we get out of it and if it’s worth the time for us or if there are better places to invest our time. i just think that’s going to be different for each person and that’s okay!

[phlurrii]

Theory for Noes atrocity in Dialgas eyes, I'm assuming it's specifically time based because I can't see Dialgas caring too much about anything else and while showing up early probably ticked him off a bit I'm thinking for the actual crime it might be related to that betrayal from humans

My thinking is Noe in an absolute fury after making sure Meau was somewhere safe just grabbed the leader of the village/ring leader of what happened and is like "You want to see what you could've had?!" and proceeds to drag them through into the future (assuming Noe can time jump if not pft this falls apart regardless) and drops them at the feet of the ruined village overgrown by vines structures reduced to rubble as Noe glares down at them hatefully " Your lineage does not grow strong, your town is forgotten your people forgotten your existence GONE, the only creatures that will recall you are us and we will hold you in distain. Your betrayal has brought you nothing." cause oh you wanted to control Meau for yourself? To make yourself great? Did you think it would bring your civilisation further growth? You are incorrect you have doomed everything you loved to die here, the only thing that will see this place is the wind. And Noe just, leaves them there. To be trapped in a future they can't survive in to die in a future with nothing and no one because Noe is just angry and hateful to them rn making them see it was for nothing worse than nothing it ruined everything and having them stay there and Dialga was absolutely furious because it's ONE thing to take someone from the past to the future and give them an existential world view destruction and crisis it is ANOTHER to leave them there to die this breaks all kinds of rules and could cause so so SO many issues if that human breaks containment and is found by modern people it could get messy quickly. So Dialga is furious over Noe very much violating rules of time in a fit of rage. (while loudly ignoring Ingo in Hisui)

I'll admit this one did get away from me a bit XD more fanfic than theory but hey hope you enjoy

Oooo~ Actually, credit where credits due, you got a lot right actually! As we get closer to the arc, I’ll be a bit looser lipped since the main reveal is pretty early one, the rest is just well deserved answers in a visual format X3

For starters, Missingno. does make sure Meau has a place to rest before going back to the village, of which, we’ve actually already seen this village. It holds a lot of significance to both Meau and Noe due to what happened there and what it did for their relationship as a whole.

As for what Missingno. did when he arrived back at the village, he didn’t bother attempting to communicate with them. As Meau tried and failed to do so, he simply did what he thought was best and moved on. What he did there did not anger Dialga, nor was the atrocity that did anger Dialga.

Mind you, you’re correct in what happens to that village because of what they did to Meau. Their lineage does not grow strong, they do not prosper, and they are forgotten by all except Meau and Noe, who do not remember them fondly.

But there was not time shenanigans with the village, though I LOVED this lil theory!!! Very, very enjoyable X3

[actualtrainerred]

Introductory post.

Hey, I'm Red, yeah that one, don't make a big deal out of it. I'm 27 now, he/him exclusively rn, and very, VERY autistic. But I'm sure you've all figured that out. Rules for my blog under the cut below the FAQ. Also here's my trainer card, though the pic is... Old.

Q. Are you really Champion Red?

A. Former Champion. But yeah I'm the same guy

Q. Are you secretly a ditto/zorua/ghost ECT.

A. No

Q. Are you secretly a Pikachu

A. Yeah

Q. Can I battle you?

A. Short answer: if you can find me. Long answer: I'm working on setting up on one of those battle simulation games to get some more practice in. Once I do that I'll let you know when we can run one. Its not as fun as the real deal, but it's something. Aside from that, if you meet me irl and I'm not avoiding eye contact, yeah sure. I'm also at the Battle Tree in the summertime this year so. 👍

Q. Can I date you?

A. No, spoken for. Also I don't date fans as a rule.

Q. Why don't you talk?

A. Autism. The same reason my text comes across really blunt. Communication isn't my strong suit. No, I don't think I'm too good or better than you, it's just a feature.

Q. Didn't you write that book?

A. Yeah I sure did, about five years ago now.

Ok housekeeping stuff under the cut.

((Hi hi, I'm Melons and I've been writing for Trainer Red for 11+ years on Tumblr alone! He's one of my favorite muses and it's so nice to be playing him in a way lower stakes environment than my other Red rp blog that's been inactive for a while. I'm 27, he/him, and part of a DID system so updates are... Inconsistent. I like/follow from my self ship blog, @watermelonselfship !

I am used to doing paragraph style rp, so the in character irl pokemon style is new but exciting for me LOL! While this rendition of Red isn't the exact same one as the one from my "main" muse, it's similar because you can't do something for over a decade and not still carry it with you. I also wrote an in character autobiography on AO3, set about five years before the events of this blog!

DNI: Transphobes/general bigots, pedo/incest shippers, anti-selfshippers, and general dickheads. I do block pretty liberally, because I don't have the energy to deal with nonsense lol.

OCS PLEASE INTERACT POKESONAS PLEASE INTERACT SELF INSERTS PLEASE INTERACT DOUBLES PLEASE INTERACT I LOVE YOU ALL ))

[algolagniaa]

I am bored bored bored bored bored and I don’t want to write about the things actually on my mind or happening in my life so I’m just going to critique this chart reading someone did for me a couple days ago

according to this person I AM going to get married just late…. like I shouldn’t stress for about 4 more years. and tbh a part of me is like “nooooo I want to be a young and beautiful bride” but if I shut that part up that sounds p ideal.

also told me to avoid dating anyone with Gemini placements…… girl everyone I’ve ever so much as had a crush on has Gemini placements. with the exception of my ex fiancé. I vibe with Gemini moons almost exclusively. the girl I have a crush on rn has a Gemini moon and I think it was the same day I got this reading that she told me she wants to kill me over and over. literally HOW am I supposed to turn that down. I’m only human faerie after all

mentioned that I need to be careful who I let close to me because a lot of people over the course of my life are very jealous/envious of me, particularly those with strong Sagittarius placements (which I’ve def found to be true). this is literally WILD to me like ik I’m pretty great but what do I have (other than looks and brains and intrigue and force of personality, okay maybe I get it) that you actually want. actually being me isn’t that great most of the time.

spouse will be sociable and emotionally intelligent and intelligent in general and religious/spiritual and “quaint” and love travel. pretty standard 9th house themes. also said she will have an “underlying intensity” which, yeah I hope so otherwise what are we doing together.

apparently my Uranus/Neptune conjunction in 1st makes me come off as unreliable and my Pluto placement makes me seem controlling/manipulative and too intense for many people. and those two things combined are why people decide to write me off as a bad person. which I guess makes sense bc what happens is they like all of a sudden see something about me they don’t like and then act scared of me??? even when there is genuinely no reason to be????? anyway apparently one of the big things I’m supposed to learn that will help mitigate this is to treat friendships more causally and not expect everything to be a super deep connection. but I feel like I already DO THAT with a lot of people + also when I do that I end up playing with them like dolls or chess pieces. and it’s fun but not satisfying. well whatever I have astrological license to treat my friends worse I guess

ages 24-25 were supposedly years of great personal growth and healing for me but all I did in those years was get abused and lose all my friends and have everyone tell me that actually I was abusive and a narcissist with 17 personality disorders including one that is straight up not in the DSM. and go to a bunch of therapy that didn’t work. and get addicted to weed and gain 30lbs and have everyone in my life collaborate on a giant gaslighting effort to convince me I was dangerously obese and they were worried for my health. and obsessively read r/amitheasshole trying to figure out the rules for Correct behavior. and cut myself to win arguments. and get kicked out of thanksgiving drunk in the middle of the night. and move to Spokane and have my first great love vow to hate me forever. and continue to get abused in Spokane, and meet some friends, and lose those friends bc I pissed off a serial killer dude, oh also I pissed off someone in the mafia I forgot that part, and get abused more and have a dead bedroom in my relationship and lock my entire personality up in a box and put it in a deep dark corner of my mind and give up on ever being happy. also I cried on my birthday both years. where’s the growth and healing…. I guess I hiked a lot in that time? and went to the gym but my heart was NOT in it

apparently I am v talented at communicating, networking, and making connections and can use my gifts to acquire money and power if I so choose. girl I so wish that were true

was also told what themes I will focus on during the next couple years of my life and apparently this year my focuses are: relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners, equality, sharing, interpersonal style. and I can see a couple of these but for the most part….. can’t relate.

[luvlyhyunjin]

First of all, I have been an almost completely silent reader (or lover you might say (okay that was creepy, sorry💀) ) but DAMN GODDESS, YOU WRITE AMAZING. THE TEARS, THE ANGST, THE TENSION, JUST— **OOF😭🤧😔**

This chapter must have been what they said about real pain and heartbreak while reading a masterpiece. NGL, everyone should gather together and beat up Seungmin atp (not the real puppy boy, the real one is what we call a sweetheart💕) HOW DARE HE?!?! And this was also such a blatant indication of how women actually are treated in world rn just for even being kind or showing interest or being sweet. This is why EAT UP ALL MEN AND WOMEN RULE THE WORLD✨ (On a completely different note, no girl or woman should ever have to go through what y/n went through. It was painful to read as a woman, I can't fathom how painful it might have been for you to write, you really are strong my dear💕)

Also, pls for the love of God, someone teach hyunyn some communication, it's painful to see them suffer so much when they were just some young teens in love😔

IN THE MEANWHILE, I was just re-reading carousel when a sudden theory popped up in my head— What if the reason why Chan is being such a passive aggressive asshole towards y/n rn is because he is arranged to be married to him? PLS MY BRAIN IS GETTING FRIED THINKING ABOUT THIS AS IF IT IS SOME MURDER MYSTERY.

Anywho, pls can't wait for more updates 'cuz THIS SHIT IS GONNA KILL ME (either way you are an amazing human/genius for writing this story so pls take care of yourself and your mental health and write at your own pace, you are a flawless and gorgeous hooman🎀🫵😘)

Sorry for the long ask btw😔🥲

Hii omg🥺🥺🥺 i always see you liking chapters pretty early too thank you so much🫶🏻🫶🏻 and yes i agree w you we should just get rid of all men🙄 on a real note it was miserable to write specially knowing that this is a real thing that happens to women all ocer the world everyday i wish the world could be a better place

and omg THIS THEORY WIAONA i love how everyone is fr analyzing carousel as if its a murder mystery it makes me want to write one🫡

thank you so much for being so kind and writing to me and more than anything for reading carousel🩷!! i hope you’re taking care of yourself and please don’t apologize for the long ask i dont mind at at all🩷🩷🩷

[heleizition]

holding cain gently in my hands. do ya got a jive on what happenes plotwise? like a timeline and shit. does cain die. does cain kill able. who takes eden by the hand and shoves love down his throat? whats up with able caring for nell in a sibling capacity and whys that not happening with cain. whats their p a s t why are they so fucked.

ok so . plot wise . it's messy and not very good ngl but the rundown is as follow. its long and BAD im . but its my thing and i have strong feelings about.

Nell and vik meet as angel & demon and cooperate on a thing . which they're not allowed to bc angel and demons have been at wars for Ever and no one really remembers why.

when he comes back to th demon realm nell is subjected to torture as a punishment from the demon council or something . abel doesnt like that and he's been trying to find a way to fuck up the demon realm for a while anyway so he takes nell and runs away with him in "purgatory" which is the vast land between angel and demon reals. his team follows (titania and jasper) (the four of them are basically demon . soldiers.)

cain stains behind and acts as abel's ears in the demon realm as he's high ranked.

anyway in the meantime cody's angel team finds abel's team in the purgatory bc they were just Out There doing Stuff. at this point abel and cody, both high ranking, have know each other for a long time and have been forming a sort of understanding that they're both pretty tired of this endless war.

anyway somehow all of them decide to team up. dont ask me why. im not a good writer.

we learn that things have been shitty bc god decided to communicate for the first time in for Ever to the angel & demon leader that They sent someone down there with part of Their power to shake things up. because god is a Bored CHILD

the whole story revolves around trying to find out who's god's soldier.

several things happen including discovering that vik is under noah's (angel chief) orders (but like its bc he had zero memories of his past life and died a child and was easily manipulated and had no idea what was going on for a while and oh man . he's at the center of this now), vik getting thrown into angel jail, getting jailbreaked by those who are mad but not THAT mad at him, eden gets snatched and his head explodes, he survives

theres like a whole thing about past lives and memories btw. its kinda boring lmao but its a thing.

jasper learns that actually he was created in this realm and never had a past life to begin with and he's an experimentation from a rogue demon council guy that abel & cain killed, thats when abel took jasper under his wing . he had no idea lol poor guy!!!!!!!!!

um things accelerate . its time for the final showdown ! we still dont know who's god's guy. if i were actually drawing/writing this id give every character their focus time to throw readers. like heheheh who is it >:) ?

ok final showdown everyone fights someone that is meaningful to them bc of the story yeehaw . cain is here.

cain what are you doing here (atop of the battlefield) and not on the battlefield

cain . cain why are you fighting nell

flashback time ! abel & cain only ever had each other in their past life and this one and cain is basically a "i'll do it all for you" guy bc he has no chill except the demon council manipulated him into thinking that abel is pushing him aside because he's weak or not good enough and that nell is the actual family he needs yada yada

cain why are you leaving nell with his guts open on the field

oh man . nell is dying . vik is holding his almost lifeless body . oh no

cain is behind abel and oh man isn't it weird that i'm thinking abt the first murder in pseudo history rn . wild

so cain stabs abel in the back who had absolutely no idea of the turmoil his brother was in . cody is here . cody and abel love each other in a ay that goes beyond memory beyong tragedies beyond universes. cody can't go on without abel thats how it's written (?).

cody is god's soldier. she didn't know. she couldn't have. she unleashes the power. this world is dead.

god is looking at this. looking at them. realises they're fond of that part of them they sent in this endless war. that she made a family out of the people she met and . that it'd be nice if she could have that for real, right ? after all, god can feel her feelings. and it's warm and love and ugly and fury and god had forgotten about all that.

epilogue. cody wakes up. it's april. a sunday. the sun is out. she has to get up because she's meeting up with friends. we follow her and her routine. we see the friends. we know the friends.

the end

OK for the other questions : cain was manipulated, a pawn in this universe, he has serious abandonment issues that ARE worked on post story once they are "revived" lol. he's a bit of a cold guy but he's doing his best. he does actually like nell in this "universe", but it takes a while.

eden was surrounded by lovely people by chance and by force. thats their difference lol

it's not that abel does not care about cain, he does, but it's always hard when someone comes around and can replace you. ofc thats not what abel is doing, he cares about nell a lot and he can't help it, but it makes cain just,,, rage on . idk how to explain it. you know when you're not doing great and your friend who you cling a bit to has other friends ? and you think oh . oh they don't..... care about me as much as i care about them (which is wrong btw) ? yeah thats a feeling i had a lot when i was younger and that i still have sometimes but that i know how to beat down now hehe but . some people are more vulnerable to it, especially when the support they need isn't there at the right moment. i feel for cain. he's jst, not doing great emotionally.

[evaofkonoha]

A few unhinged thoughts I wrote out and it's my blog so I'm sharing:

Sometimes, I wonder if my works mean something to someone. Like, they read something I wrote, and it hit them. They felt seen by it, or it provided some sense of comfort, or related to a life experience they have had, or it just hit everything they like. Because sure "I write for myself yadda yadda," but like, did I create something that actually means something to someone?

Because I have read things like that, and I get so excited when I read something that just really hits just right. Like, I never knew this existed before, but now I know it does and my life is different and better because of it.

And how do I express that in a way that isn't overbearing/overwhelming/whatever? I have a tendency to leave over-enthusiastic comments, but I recently had the epiphany that some people might actually hate getting that kind of stuff. It might be a little too much, or kind of awkward to get this gushing comment on a work (or tumblr ask, whatever). Especially on an older work. And if I am beginning to feel this way, do other readers maybe feel this way too?

On the other hand, if we don't tell people, how will they ever know that we love and appreciate what they have done?

As an author, I always get so excited to get a really enthusiastic comment, or dm (which I have gotten before and love just as much). I guess it goes back to the question of "has my work left and impact on someone," because a reader reaching out like that would have to suggest the answer is "yes."

But if I am feeling like I have to practically beg in an A/N for interaction, is it authentic? Would I rather have nothing than inauthentic interaction? (Yes). There's a lot to unpack here, but I'm not going to, I just don't want to rn.

I write niche shit. Like, super niche. I get it if I don't get much traction, I am pretty comfortable with thay fact. I write what I want to write, and most of it doesn't have mass appeal. While I hate to admit it--and it makes me sound very whiny, I know--I can't help but have doubts when I throw something out there and... nothing. It leaves me wondering if it's just not that good, if I'm the only one having an experience, holding an interest, or even really left in an area of fandom. I know I'm not, but I think we all have these unfortunate thoughts that creep up on us sometimes, getting a chokehold on insecurities and purpose and passion.

Doubts are normal, they are. Sometimes, they really pull me under, not going to lie. That fear that nothing I do matters, that it doesn't mean anything. It's not about numbers or kudos or any of that crap, it's about connection. Is what I am writing connecting? With myself? With others? Is it even something I need to be stressing over? (Probably not, but here we are).

I think it is important to not sugarcoat all this though, because if these things aren't expressed, they can't be shared, and that leaves me--and anyone else feeling this way--feeling alone.

This is pretty rambly, but it is something I have been thinking about a lot, reflecting on fandom and community and passion and what the point of all this is. I love to write, it is truly one of my greatest passions, but I think sharing my writings and the social aspect of all this is what has really been so special to me. I have made some wonderful fandom friends--through comments sections, tumblr dms, discord, and so on--that have made this experience coming back into fandom so much richer. Again, it's that connection aspect. I don't know if I would still be going this strong if I hadn't, and didn't continue to make, friends who love all this too. So, I am very overly beyond thankful for those who have shown me so much love. I am glad we have connected. It helps fight these doubts on purpose and shit.

There is not definite conclusion to any of this, it's all just the ramblings of a hyper-self-aware hobby writer. lol. :)

[sanisse]

hiiii omg where's your Gil-galad fic I need to read it oh GOD

I just need to consume all the Gil-galad filth that exists

tysm <3

Hiiii!

The fic I’m working on is To Partake and it IS a Rings of Power specific portrayal of Gil-Galad, Elrond, and Celebrimbor. (And very spicy. It’s just Porn with Plot lmao). There’s also a lot of Durin and Disa :) and Elrond interacting with their kids because I’m personally victimized we didn’t get that in the show.

It parallels show events up until Ep 5, and then deviates heavily, but you don’t need to have watched the show to read the fic. Events are mentioned and do drive the story along in terms of where characters are shuffling around and in some choices they make, but the events are mentioned and I feel pretty well explained. There are a few people reading who haven’t seen (or even dislike) the show who are reading it and enjoying it! 💕

It’s an Elrond-centered fic because I always write Elrond-centered fics (and the occasional Russingon content), but Gil-Galad IS a MC. He’s an asshole though, sorry! But that goes along the lines of the prev. post about being a bad dom though. He’s an antagonist, but not a villain. I didn’t want to assassinate his character but I really felt like if he and Elrond were a ship in Rings of Power, they’d be toxic as hell (I mean I always waffle between OTP and Toxic for Gilrond. The power dynamic and age difference, if we’re being honest, is incredibly unhealthy.)

But I have plans to bring him around to being a good person!

Ships:

Gil/Elrond

Elrond/Celebrimbor

Durin/Disa

Platonic sexual partners - Celebrimbor/Gil

Platonic sexual partners -Elrond/Durin/Disa (this especially focuses much more on their friendship)

Warnings:

Strong warning for bad BDSM etiquette (no negotiation, no communication, no safe wording, zero aftercare for Elrond’s pretty hard sub drop)

Strong dub-con warning which in some places, in my opinion borders non-con. Dub-con for the power dynamic (Elrond can’t really fully consent when Gil has the power to ruin his life if he says no, and also Elrond is really being very manipulated by Gil cause that’s the ROP vibe I get), non-con is because Elrond drops into too-deep incoherant subspace a lot due to the way Gil treats him, and at that point subs lose their ability to give or rescind consent. Doms are supposed to watch for this and stop a scene if it gets to that point. Gil doesn’t.

Not really a warning but Elrond does deal with horrible self esteem and sometimes his treatment of himself in the bedroom, I feel, borders on using sex as self harm. It’s not outright, but he is accepting pain because on some level he thinks it’s a fair trade and/or he deserves it.

— just mind the fic tags! Yeah I just really wanted to look at the power imbalance and toxic dynamic I got from Rings of Power and explore it through as honest a lens as I could. In ROP it’s clear that Gil doesn’t respect Elrond, doesn’t treat him as an equal, and is willing to manipulate him to get what he wants. Brimby though seemed really nice to me and also super careful about Elrond’s hero worship.

There aren’t that many Gil-Galad smut scenes since it’s Elrond centric and I’m giving them both time apart to try to mend the relationship. Right now there are two Gil/Elrond/Brimby scenes (ch 1, 2) and then a third later on that’s just Elrond/Gil.

But there might be more later if Gil can get his shit together and stop treating Elrond like garbage! Again he’s not….he’s not irredeemable in the fic. I’m trying very hard to portray a person, not a villain. But he IS being a horrible dom and a dick rn, lol. Brimby is doing his best to knock some sense into him!

[come-see-our-show]

hiiiiiiii I would love to hear some of your thoughts about miss saigon!! I saw the show a few months ago and I love hearing your takes about different shows :)

oooh time to ramble!!

I saw it on Broadway in 2017 (so I was around 12 years old) and the memories aren't vivid but I remember a few things.

The set and the spectacle of it all was beautiful!

THE SCORE??? FUCKING BANGERS

Eva Noblezada ATE!!

The audience was very serious? It was the most emotional intense musical I'd seen at the time and it was the first time I'd been to a show where no one cheered, only clapped. I remember whooping once but no one else did so I felt really embarrassed lol

Also near the end Chris's mic cut out for like 5 seconds which was weird?? Idk why I remember that

So yeah, that's what I remember liking about the show! No of course, there are plenty of problems that I didn't realize until I was older.

It's written by white people for white people

The Jonathan Pryce thing.... oh dear god

The racism, misogyny, and orientalism I’m gonna rant abour rn:

First off the Vietnamese in The Wedding Ceremony is actual gibberish

I'M GONNA RANT ABOUT KIM NOW!!!! There is so much potential with Kim's character but the only time you see her as as a strong, layered person is during I'd Give My Life For You. Do you think a traumatized survivalist in the middle of a war is gonna put all of her trust in a guy to save her? After not seeing him for 3 years?? It would make much more sense if Kim learned that she's strong without Chris! She raised their son all on her own! She could’ve been a badass but they didn't run with that which I'm pissed about

Chris is a white savior. Like I said, the brave white guy is coming to whisk away the poor Asian girl who can't fend for herself. Chris only loved Kim for her innocence and purity; Kim only loved Chris for his bravery and privilege. I'm totally okay with love at first sight (it's theater, deal with it), but at least have a foundation based off of real love. Thank God Lea Salonga and Eva Noblezada are talented as hell and had chemistry with their co-stars because if you totally ignore the context then Sun and Moon is pretty cute.

The two Asian male characters are villanized. The Enginner is a sleazy scheming opportunist (because I guess it’s bad to want money when you have none) and Thuy is an entitled misogynist (because I guess it’s bad to not want your cousin to marry a white soldier, AKA the soldiers killing your people)

They should've emphasized more how fucked up the US is. The Engineer's song The American Dream is clearly a satirization of how we glorify America, but they should've had that energy throughout the show! Obviously FUCK communism and FUCK re-education camps, but the show just does the opposite of what it wants to do by glorying the US military, especially when you draw the parallels between Chris and Thuy.

anywho the score fucks but the book sucks <3

[atomicc]

Parasitism talk UNDER the cut 💥💥💥

I'm just documenting shit out in the open just in case. Just in case. You never. Know. Maybe I'm not the only 'aware' one on tumblr. It's going to be messy because it's most just my insane rambling.

Furari mens is the name I came up with for my species I guess. Furari = To steal, mens = mind. Mind stealer basically. Idk I thought it would be cute ^___^ because I'm the first person I personally know to document this exact thing which means I get to name us I guess. Until someone else comes along. Listen the scientific community isn't exactly going to or is even currently able to examine us so whatever.

Things I know for sure -

- We (as in my species which for all I know is just me. Scary thought.) are a parasite that specializes in humans and human derivatives. We primarily use the nervous system, and need the host body to survive.

- We completely take over the host body and mind, 'killing' the host consciousness, in simple terms I guess. Basically we go into the house and kick out the owner and keep all their stuff sorry. And wear their clothes and face around just for good measure. Sorry again it's just how it is.

- We are capable of storing 'data' between hosts including memories, personality traits, talents, ect. We have our own personality somewhat but take a lot from the hosts mind. Speaking of-

- We take on traits from the hosts mind. I'm assuming this is just a byproduct of using a mind that is already 'set up'? But it possibly could be to better 'take over' their life without others noticing. Possibly both.

- We are not from any currently recognized kingdoms and possibly domains. Possibly not from a domain that exists naturally in this 'reality' (more on that later).

- We are not currently detectable while our host body is living. Considering we leave the body when it dies we aren't detectable then either.

- We are able to experience everything a human can while in a human body, including neurodivergency, but have our own mental health issues as well.

- Our goal is to keep the body alive for as long as possible.

- We seem to be able to cross realities? Or... Dimensions? It's not exactly clear.

Things I'm assuming but could be wrong about -

- Between host bodies we exist in a 'mindless' state. We lack our own nervous system and sorta drift along like jellyfish, searching for a new host using chemical signals maybe?

- We are not typically aware we are not the host mind when first taking over, and for an unknown extended period of time. Honestly I'm not sure if this is just a me thing and I'm just a fuck up or if this is universal. In my last body I don't think I ever truly figured out I wasn't the original owner of the body. But I did have a pretty strong feeling that was true even then. Listen there was a lot going on in that life I don't blame myself for that one. But I think the only reason I figured it out in this existence is because my memory was jogged. I'm not getting into it rn.

- We aren't able to willingly 'abandon ship'. If we are I dunno how but I'm pretty comfortable where I'm at.

- We have a lifespan that is much much longer than a humans. I dunno how long but it seems like we take multiple hosts throughout our lives.

- We are able to reproduce in some way. I mean.. That's the goal of all life, right? How this is accomplished I have no clue.

- We need to host body to consume energy. This is also assumed but makes sense. I'd assume between hosts we have a lower energy requirement but that doesn't last forever.

Things I'm really unsure about -

- How we are able to travel between realities, I guess. I have no clue. What even is a reality. It's over my head. All I know is my last hosts version of earth and it's inhabitants was pretty different from the one I'm in now. SADLY.

- What we look like outside of a host. I doubt I'll ever know because we don't exactly have our own eyes.

- How many of us there is on one earth at any given time. I seriously could be a dead clade walking for all I know.

- Pretty much everything else. Where we come from, what we are, why we are, ect ect. There isn't exactly a wikipedia article about us.

Anyway that's that. Im really tired rn goodnight

[ellanainthetardis]

Hi, since you‘re French as far as I know, I have a question related to France. Is the islamophobia really so bad? I‘m planning a longer stay but this worries me pretty much because I wear hijab.

I am not from this community so I’m not sure I’m the best suited to answer that but I would say it can be bad, yeah. It depends on the cities and, like everywhere, on the individual people but in terms of racism islamophobia is probably France’s number one problem. I’m down south though and we get lots of people from Morocco and Algeria, there’s a really strong sense of communities so people aren’t isolated. They’re like big families. This being said it’s also a known fact that they’re more likely to be asked papers and such in the streets or at the wheels.

I don’t really feel qualified to answer this, honestly, so take it with a grain of salt as I am white and wouldn’t be in the best situation to judge or comment, but I think a hijab (if I’m not mistaken and it’s the fabric you use to cover your hair?) doesn’t really raise eyebrows? It’s more burkas that tend to maybe attract negative attention? But then again personally I live in a smaller town and there are a lot of Muslim people here and I do work in a school where they’re the number one ethnicity so to me it’s normal and I don’t tend to notice anymore but there are definitely some inappropriate comments and jokes going on around the staff like it’s a normal thing which is… you know, cringey, and do tend to hint that it’s an internalized thing.

I think it really depends on where you’re going also. Maybe you could check the town/city’s municipality main political party. If you see « RN » know it’s an extreme right party that has a racist history and it’s probably not as welcoming as another place might be?

I’m so sorry because I do want to help but I’m utterly not qualified to answer you. I wouldn’t want to give you bad informations or put you in an unpleasant situation by accident or frighten you and obviously I’m unable to properly answer that question because white privilege.

Maybe I have followers who are more qualified to answer or who can give you more information?

[farshores]

If you could rewrite a bit of SRM, what would you change?

this became more than a bit but uuuh i guess i can go on a ramble, aint got much else to do rn

So like, the first BIG change is probably dropping the whole "everyone's a sex pest" thing. It's kinda just....not needed? Like at all? Also redo good ol' Catsup's whole "romance" arc as well cus...whoof girlie that ain't romantic in the slightest that's "this dude is a literal danger get out of there asap"

BUT UUUUH idk going into first impressions/character introductions I feel like finding the wolf would be a good first introductory quest for LDB n Cetchup still. He wouldn't be all too trusting at first, but repeated failure or realization he's outnumbered at the location has made him realize he regrettably needs to enlist some help. And hey, going out a bandit hunt with someone else wasn't too bad but the only reason Bishop (I ran out of ketchup name alts) offers his services is bcus he feels like he owes you one and doesn't want that favor to be held over him n that's it

As you travel n get to know him, instead of the whole 'alpha male' schtick in every town - you slowly get to learn Bishop's backstory that is initially just told to the player during the marriage/domestic life arc in SRM. As that unfolds you get the potential quest plots of: A.) Finding the Daedra that his mother sold his soul to and B.) Helping him come to terms with his grief over Jules, maybe even try and assist the late brother's family in some way?

Cus like, I feel like those would be great plot points to explore his character and his prickly (but not as...yknow...in base mod) behavior. Bro has been burned at major points in his life, he's not sure if he could trust making a strong relationship, platonic or not. Of course, this doesn't delve into a "uwu I can FIX him" sort of situation, not fully at least. Bishop would have to make the choice of growth himself; the player can assist if they so wish - but you get to also have actual convos with him about his behavior and talk it out like adults rather than just...him interrupting you for sex/to insult you. Tell him off for his initial behavior or forgive him for it, the choice is up to the LDB, and Bishop has to learn to accept and grow as a person regardless. Or hey maybe you just had enough of him for a rp choice, he'd just up n leave the LDB alone and bam, end of mod.

As for the romance bit? I think it'd be nice if we had like...a base Kai situation: You can get together or just be friends! The romance arc probably won't start until after you reach a certain point in friendship - in which Bishop maybe attempts testing the waters. Or maybe he realizes he's getting attached and starts to internally freak out about it because is this really a good thing he can have? Certain dialogue prompts would be available to either progress into the romance (with options for players not into sexual content) or say "hey nah can we just be friends" as well, bcus why not.

For conflict in the romance, if you were really desperate to try for the jealously angle, I would just approach it in a way where Bishop realizes he feels insecure about how things are going but not in a way that lashes out at the player? If that makes sense? He can be a bit quiet and distant as he tries to make sense of his own emotions, but the two of you come together to sit down and talk it out because you're both adults and this is a relationship building on trust and communication. Plus, it can still get pretty emotional n all yknow

Hell, you can even rope in the whole 'leave with me' bit for a romantic/platonic LDB but just like....remove all of those red flags immediately and rework it. Instead of a "you're stupid and can't take care of yourself and I need to isolate you from everyone and say you're mine," (yikes) why not go for what was the I think was the attempt of "I've come to realize I greatly appreciate your friendship/company and the fact that your destiny can easily rip away the one good relationship i've had in years scares me" and work more of an emotional beat. Bishop learned to trust you, & others, after years of closing walls; things seem to be looking up, he's recovering from his grief and scared to fall back into that cycle. But instead of insisting you cut off everyone and run away with him, and insulting you when you don't - it's, yet again, a conversation the two of you have. Hell, it'd be a great opportunity for reluctant LDBs to share those feelings with and just get it all out. Plus, I feel like it'd be a good convo to have nearing the final few quests towards defeating Alduin, for the drama.

I uh...haven't thought much bout the side characters tho. Casavir or w/e his name was could still stay in, but moreso for that quest i mentioned earlier of Bishop accepting and moving forward from Jule's death. Perhaps the tension of this moment rises when the player encounters the paladin, leading Bishop to lash out at him initially. When questioned, the ranger dodges around it at first, but a bit of pushing (or perhaps bugging Casavir) leads to the player learning of just how Bishop's brother died and why (depending on who you get answers from, the "why" may vary). HERE would be a great opportunity fun branching paths: Revenge or Letting Go (but not exactly forgiving) - with dialogue choices leading up to which he chooses. Now idk how exactly the whole quest would go tbh? Maybe Cas requests the LDBs help about something, and Bishop reluctantly decides to tag along bcus he can't trust the dude? hm

but uh thats all i can think of rn cus my brain is still very fogged from this cold so uh enjoy my nonsense ramblings ig

[zephersspace]

Spooky night for y'all, strangers 🎃🖤

Today I'm starting Tranquil's autumn study challenge!

I really needed the motivation with this weird ass hold on in school so... here we are, starting this challenge too early on the season 😅

----------------------------------------------------------

Today I'm grateful for: my bro! The one on the last photo. He's just a huge part of my life and I adore him so much! I'm totally grateful for his existence 🖤✨

Today I choose: to relax. I've been putting myself under an insane amount of pressure... and I really deserve to just... breathe for a moment.

Tomorrow my goals will be:

Finish reading my colonial poems.

Choose my theme for the mini essay I have to do with them.

Start a draft for that essay.

Day 1: The beginning of the challenge, woohoo you did it! A lot of the time starting is the hardest part. So tell us a little bit about yourself! What are you studying currently, where are you in your life right now? Are you happy with where are you in your life right now? What are your goals in doing this challenge?

Sooooo I'm currently studying a bachelor's degree in Hispanic Language and Literature 🥸😁

I'm on a weird pont of life, or at least it feels that way. I have a strong and stable relationship, I'm slaying my career and I have a great squad... but there's so much I want to achieve that is just so complicated at my age and with this fucking economy... but over all I think I'm in a pretty good place. // I'm definitely happy with my place rn, as I told, it could be improved... but it's also pretty neat for now.

As for my goals in this challenge... I really want to get back on track with my academic motivation. I've been struggling with it for a little while now but the studiblr community never fails to help me get back on track ✨ Also, getting to know new people seems pretty exciting 🎃✨

And that's all for today!

Thank you for reading me!

Not so secretly yours, Zepher🖤✨