👀🤫 Silence 🤫👀
You used to hate it when I would go quiet
You'd get frustrated with me, your cheeks flushed, your eyes narrowed over your frames.
Telling me that I had this unwavering, silent, judging stare
Stating that I would “mock” you with my “proud”eyes
I was child.
Was it mockery that I had learned that you would not listen if I said anything, nor care about what I spoke?
Was it mockery?! That thenceforth I chose the preferable silence than conversing with you?
Or were you just so uncomfortable with the silence that you acted out because it was a resounding truth that was reflected in my eyes
Your words were hurting me
You were hurting me…
And I think you only got angry with me because deep inside…
You knew
The worst part?
You could see it in your daughter's eyes
~Po
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Ok I’m back with more thoughts…. I ended up writing way more than I thought I was going to haha also why is it every time I actually write some stuff for this blog is fae or fae adjacent ?? pfft
Tw: voyerism, dubcon ?? Like at the start ?? Idk just to be safe, vague mention of rejection by other humans, mentions of feeling isolated, yall get jiggy with a water elemental
Ok, but imagine living by yourself, out in the wilds, away from the village full of people you turned you away. Do you get lonely sometimes ? Sure, but it’s better than being around those who don’t want you.
Most often you’re fine with it. You enjoy your own company, and spend your days in a comfort of your own making. But sometimes that ache arises. The one that yearns so desperately for warmth. To be held by another. To no longer feel alone….. when this happens you take a trip to the hot springs.
Slipping into the warm water, you bask in the heat - letting it seep into your tense muscles and ease that aching in your chest. Faint ribbons of steam dance in the silver light as you relax fully. You’ve been coming here for many moons now, and each time you leave feeling content.
Hands creeping downward, you gently brush the skin of your chest, stomach, thighs….before dipping further. The water already feels so good, why not add to the satisfaction you feel before it’s time to leave ?
Eyes closed, you feel the the pleasure from your fingers, and the warmth of the water - the way it’s gentle volume seems to craddle you, move against your legs, gentle lap at your throat.
With a soft moan you lazily lift you eyelids, only to be startled by the form of a man waist deep at the other side of the pool. Well not really a man. Although it takes on a humanoid shape, the figure across from you is completely formed from the hot springs water. You’d heard of creatures like this. Ancient magic so strong it took on a life of its own; through water, air, earth or fire.
There world around the two of you totally stills, waiting for someone to break the silence. It’s the water elemental who speaks first. Well, he doesn’t really speak, the sound of a babbling stream emerges from him, though you understand as if he were speaking in your own tongue.
A garble of flustered apologies tumble out. He hadn’t meant to watch you… but he couldn’t really not, seeing as he was the hot springs. He should have revealed himself when you first came to the pool, but you were so beautiful, he felt unable to manifest as anything other than a puddle. And the way your tension eased as you lay within the water…the way you seemed so much happier when you left… he couldn’t stand to take that from you.
After hearing all his rambling, only one thing hummed in your mind.
“You’re the reason I don’t feel alone.”
Although the elemental had no need to breath, you swore you saw him gasp softly, eyes filled with yearning as the water around you gently swirled.
Standing, you made your way towards him; parting the spring slowly with your hips as you came to stand before the curious being. Lifting a hand, you gently pressed your fingers against him. Sliding them up his chest as the water tension kept you from sinking in. With only a moments hesitation, you tentatively pressed your lips to his, cradling the warmth of his cheek and raising to your toes to press closer. The crash of an ocean wave filled your ears, what could only be a groan from this watery creature, as he pulled you’re naked body further against him.
Soon sweet moans filled the night. The elemental held you close, his touch at times almost human - strong arms around you, his mouth pressed to you neck - but the sudden morphing of sensations, into the caress of water you had grown familiar with, reminded you what held you was much more than a man. A gentle current seemed to spread you legs wider as you were filled over and over. First by a tender caress, the tide against a river’s edge in the mauve hours of evening. Then, growing, swelling, till you felt like a rocky cliff meeting the crashing waves of a storm. Despite the rhythm of waves rushing forth, you still felt safe, the warm water holding you, soothing you as it always had - only now the whispers of steam carried with them sweet words of worship.
With a final cry you pleasure reached its peak. The waves around you lulled, encircling you in a soft embrace. The spring had always been something that helped ease your loneliness, now running your fingers over the water elementals tenderly smiling face, you felt a lightness in you chest like nothing you’d known before.
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🔳 🌥️ Ache 🌥️ 🔳
There’s an emptiness in the space of my arms tonight
Heavy with the weight of knowing I’ll never get to hold you the way I want to
The aching feeling carves into my gut, a painful reminder that will one day scar, but the memory of a wound will that never really heal
Every beat of my heart is a somber echoing drum, of the storm that is my feelings
This rain needs to fall, enable for the barren earth that is my heart to grow
But the liquid burns this parched ground just like my throat burns as I choke back these tears
You’re not here, you never will be
And yet my stubbornly faithful heart cries out
iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou
I love you.
It hurts. It doesn’t change anything.
But with this stubborn faithful heart of mine,
I still love you
~Po
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