#we're going to deal with some TRAUMA in this fic

[thewaragainstapathy]

I’m dead-set on finishing this (currently untitled) ROTTMNT post-movie fic, but I could use some friends to bounce around ideas. In the meantime please enjoy some of chapter 1. (And I’m not kidding about bouncing around ideas. PM me if you’re interested, I need some COMMUNITY!)

******

Reggie was no conspiracy nut, but there were two things she firmly believed: aliens existed, and mutants were a thing. 

The invasion proved her right about the aliens. She had officially won the bet with her sister, but there was no time to gloat when she was running for her life. In fact, at the rate she was going, Reggie doubted she’d survive long enough to collect. 

These alien fuckers were scarier than anything from the movies. Within minutes they’d pushed back the National Guard, corrupted the human weaponry, and used it to demolish her neighborhood. Helicopters with teeth were sure to star in her nightmares, assuming she lived long enough to sleep again. 

Reggie had kept up with the screaming masses for a while. As fires raged and smoke choked her lungs, however, she’d been forced to take cover long enough to find her inhaler. In the time it took her to get her breathing under control all the stragglers left her behind. 

She was alone, and more scared than she’d ever been in her life. 

Reggie had run for seven more blocks before she had to stop again. Most of the buildings around her were in ruins, but the fires were downwind and she’d found a dumpster to hide behind in a stable-ish alley. It would have to do until she could catch her breath. 

There were still no other people around—a bad sign for sure—but there were no immediate threats, either. Reggie took another puff from her inhaler and risked a moment to find her water bottle. She couldn’t drink much; she only had half a bottle left, and she’d bet her salary that the water lines were down. She’d have to take a sip or two and keep moving. 

Then the light show started, and moving was out of the question.

Reggie watched with terror-laced awe as a Michael Bay-worthy sci-fi battle raged before her eyes. Gold chains of fire, purple rockets, and blue portals of light zipped through the air, working in tandem with a red-lit giant. Debris was still falling, but most of it was over the water now, so she did the one thing she’d sworn she’d never do during a disaster.

She pulled out her phone and started filming.

Monique, you are not gonna believe this.

All things considered, Reggie had a good angle. She saw the red giant—which she could swear was a turtle—fall and crash-land across the bay. She saw the explosion as the spaceship was cut in half, and ducked behind the dumpster as the blast wave rushed past. 

And she saw a katana, still glowing blue, fall from the sky to land in the street.

Within five minutes it was over.  

She hit stop and wondered what the hell she should do now. 

*****

Casey had never felt more lost in his life. 

They’d saved the world, right? He’d done what Master Leonardo had told him to do. He’d found the key. He’d stopped the Krang. 

But now he was here, in this strange world he didn’t recognize, with a family that was so familiar but wasn’t his, and after everything they’d done? Everything his masters had sacrificed to get him here? 

He’d still lost Master Leonardo.

No. Not Master Leonardo. Not my sensei. Just… just Leo.

Did that make it better, or worse? Either way Casey wanted to cry, but he couldn’t give in to grief, not yet. Not while the Sister Krang was still a threat. He could mourn after she was dealt with. Until then he would tamp down his feelings like the soldier he was.

But then… then he saw Leo’s katana, fallen just like his master. 

His hockey stick fell to the ground with a clatter.

[blughxreader]

Damn, the "re-connection session" one-shot was an extremely heavy read in a way I never expected. I’m fully aware that your requests are closed but just wanted to ask; how would Dick and Jason deal with a traumatised omega reader? Someone who gave in to the hormones but once the effect blew over the weight of what happened set in and hit them like a truck, as they re-lived metres of being undressed and touched without their consent, which mimicked a borderline assault?

I'm blown away by the response for this fic omg <3 Thank u to everyone who left comments like this lol. "HORRID. SICK TO MY STOMACH. WILL TATTOO ON MY BODY." yall are the best

As for your questions...

We're all aware of normal trauma responses (mental breakdowns, you could throw up at the smell of Alfred's soup, blocking the memory entirely, throwing yourself into distractions), but ABO has a primal element...

Y'know how women who give birth release this brain chemical that makes them love their baby so it overrides the terror of pregnancy??

Yeah. Maybe finally joining the pack physically/emotionally releases that same chemical.

You're not a slave to your body, but it definitely takes the edge off of a horrific incident. I think you'd 1000% remember it forever and have some level of bitterness and ick about it, but sometimes it's easier to accept things you can't change.

From everyone's perspective, why should you harbor so much hatred when an easy life of love and safety is at your fingertips if you'd just forget a little incident?

It's up to the you tho.

Dick fully stands by his decision unless you try to like, kill yourself. He's used to making hard decisions, and while he'd upset at the circumstances, he feels it was the last solution. Everything else failed, so how we do things the uncomfortable way.

Jason will always feel shitty about it. He's a romantic, and the fact that your entrance into the pack was by force will forever sit heavy on him. If Dick's confidence had faltered even a little during that one-shot, then Jason would have called it off immediately.

Life would carry on normally, save for everyone watching you for any behavioral changes. Dick and Jason would accept your furious anger / sadness with understanding remorse, then would comfort you in their own ways.

Movie night? Your favorite food? Want to sit with Alfred and I in the library? Hey, maybe we can convince Bruce to let us all go to his beach house for a weekend?

And if you stop reacting all together, then they'd take the indication to cozy on up to you again. Fight back and show some emotion, orrrr sit with one of their arm's over your shoulder and let the hormones do their job.

You'll run out of fight eventually, then Bruce will start working on your trauma. At that point, the pack's already got a hold on you mentally so you begrudge them some leeway.

Small privileges here and there (sitting with your thighs touching, holding someone's hand, sleeping in the same bed), until it becomes a slippery addiction.

[salty-ironstrange-shipper]

Hi. I saw this post asking for a fic that changed one's brain chemistry. Now there are a lot of fics I like; over 2000 bookmarked on ao3. And a lot of fics I love; I have 400+ of those fics tagged 'fave'. Of those 400, there are only around two dozen I would say legitimately changed me as a person. 1% changed the way I saw relationships and the world, changed the way I read and write. And I couldn't narrow it down to one - or ten - and didn't want to dump in OP's tags. So have this list of fics that permanently changed who I am as a person.

Warning: I love long fics, and some of these are the same specific tropes that I love or that really affect me personally (ex. arranged marriage). Expect angst, and especially angst with a happy ending. That said these fics are all objectively amazing.

(sorry to people who don't like long fics, but we are simply not the same. and that's OK.)

listed in order of fandom, then length.

Banshee In A Well - 43k, complete, DC, Tim Drake. Childhood trauma, childhood trauma, came back wrong/can't stop coming back! Tim is a little FREAK and I luv him.

straight on 'til morning - 102k, complete, DC, timkon/Kon-El. This is within the niche genre that for some reason appeals to me specifically, of characters having a LOT of feelings about sex and dealing with it poorly.

variations on a theme - 5k, complete, MCU, ironstrange. This is one of the fics that made me truly love ironstrange. Stephen sees through millions of possibilities and in doing so, falls in love with Tony. Evocative, beautiful, succinct.

The Art of Losing - 33k, complete, Red White and Royal Blue, firstprince. This fic made me cry. This fic BROKE MY HEART. And I WENT BACK TO IT. Multiple times! This is a breakup fic that breaks you down then puts you back together. You will come out different, and only you can say if it's for the worse or the better.

With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest) - 65k, complete, Red White and Royal Blue, firstprince. There are so many firstprince fics that essentially translate the events of the book into a different setting. And I love all of them. (My own fic, then fucking have me, also does this, self plug self plug self plug). I had to narrow this selection down to just one, and this is probably my absolute favorite.

You Don't Have To (Say Yes) - 192k, complete, Star Trek, spirk/Jim Kirk. This is within the niche genre that for some reason appeals to me specifically, of characters having a LOT of feelings about sex and dealing with it poorly (yeah, again).

THE MARRIAGE OF TRUE MINDS - 262k, complete, Star Trek, spirk. Star Trek arranged marriage epistolary fic. I read this 4 years ago, and I STILL think of a line from this fic constantly (we're aligned, we're aligned, we're aligned). If you don't read anything else for the rest of your life, read this.

DON'T THE WAVES PULL THE SAND? DON'T THE MOON PULL THE TIDES? - 58k, complete, Star Wars, finnpoe. I don't even go here. And yet. And yet. This is within the niche genre that for some reason appeals to me specifically, of characters having a LOT of feelings about sex and dealing with it poorly (yeah, AGAIN).

Not Part of the Plan - SERIES, 8 works, 337k, complete. Supernatural, destiel. This is an arranged marriage fic au series, that started with a oneshot pwp, and somehow grew into a sprawling, world and character building EPIC. And that to me is always a marker of quality. You KNOW it's good if the author couldn't stop themselves.

wander your own land - 379k, incomplete, Yellowjackets, shaunajackie and others. I told you I like long fics. Girl survival situationships, cannibalism, jealousy, cabin fever, hallucinations, trying to keep a fucking baby alive in some of the worst possible circumstances.

Infinite Variations of a Summer Day - 76k, complete, X-Men, Pietro Maximoff. I love Pietro, he is one of my favorite characters of all time, and this is such a great character fic. See Pietro slowly driven insane in a time loop that examines his relationships with himself, his team, his family, and his powers.

drop your own recs in the notes. and if you have any suggestions for griddlehark/the locked tomb, pLEA- *gunshots*

[chaifootsteps]

Hey I saw someone on Twitter saying you’re transphobic because it said in your Twitter bio “IDW Arcee is still a guy” even though the character is canonically trans. What’s your take on that? I’m not attacking you or anything I just genuinely want to know the context of all that.

Oh boy. Strap yourselves in kids; time for Chai's villain origin story.

So basically, IDW Arcee made his debut under the pen of Simon Furman, the dude who created Arcee in the first place. Simon Furman has a small massive chip on his shoulder over the notion of girl robots, but we're going to be talking in mostly Watsonian terms for now. IDW Arcee as he comes on the scene in Spotlight Arcee is the victim of a nonconsensual forced sex reassignment, we see right off the bat that this destroyed his life.

He's wracked with trauma and dysphoria over this, on a do-or-die quest to take out the mad scientist who did it (he succeeds and tortures said scientist for seven years straight), and is implied to suffer chronic pain.

This got a lot of criticism, but Simon Furman insisted it wasn't meant to be transphobic, just the opposite. When someone pointed out that this was a story about how traumatic it was to be assigned a gender you didn't feel was the one you should have, Furman agreed with this take.

Eventually Furman was shooed out and John Barber was brought in as writer, and nobody seemed to know how to deal with Arcee's backstory. So they just kind of...didn't. They wrote around it for eight whole years, never really acknowledging it, but frequently alluding to how traumatized he was from it. The only person to ever roll up their sleeves and tackle it head on was Mairghread Scott, the only person IMO to ever do justice to IDW Arcee.

By the way, this panel made me weep. This issue also includes a fleeting, but notable moment where someone refers to Arcee with they/them pronouns, and at the time, I was extremely excited for this.

Shortly after this however, the comic came to an end and John Barber decided -- in the very last issue -- to bring in an expert. And by this, I mean he found some trans lady on Twitter and let her write Arcee. The last issue has Arcee concluding that the whole sex change was consensual and the violent murder spree was the result of, I quote, "bad meds."

Yeah, basically Arcee killed all those people because the Spiro was a little off.

I got into a lot of internet fights with people over this back in the day, criticizing it for being worse than what we started with, but also frequently pointing out that it wasn't Twitter lady's fault, as she wasn't the editor-in-chief at IDW and that there's a very good reason professional writers aren't supposed to do this sort of thing. In return, I got accused of hating trans women and still get some real ugly things in the inbox about it to this day. It was the first taste, bitter as wormwood, of what I as a trans man could expect from my own community.

Regardless of all that, Arcee is probably the most important fictional character to ever enter my life. He helped me realize I was trans, got me through some dark days, got me through heartbreak and top surgery. He saved my life a few times, and every so often he continues to. I owe so much to him.

If writing a very gentle fix-it fic where Arcee has a long talk with Anode (one of the trans lesbian bots from the vastly superior sister series James Roberts wrote) makes me a transphobe in these peoples' eyes, so be it. I don't care what they think. They never reached out to baby trans Chai and held his hand and kept him breathing.

Arcee did.

[sleepyistinky]

Many people don't realize this but Bruce never neglected Tim. I love that okay Tim he was a frustrated Robin who went through shit dealing with Batman I might be getting that wrong too though because I don't have access to the comics but I've been reading what I can BUT Tim was never neglected as a Robin. I see how many people heavily mischaracterize the Batfam members, from making Bruce a shitty and abusive dad even though he just isn't that good at communicating, to making Dick a pushover and making his ass his whole personality, and uwu-ifying Tim and making Jason the 'angry' robin even though that mf was a boy scout as a Robin. HOWEVER.

Tim Drake who just fucking gets so sick of everyone's shit. Batfam supporter to the day I die I do not hate any of them however I am not an apologist. I can recognize when a character is wrong because even though they're fictional they're still human. Tim sick of Batman just taking his help for granted. Alfred who sees what's going on despite being a solid rock in the past and not doing anything about it. Jason seemingly hating Tim simply because he is his successor and Damian hating Tim because he is his successor. Dick who is at best lukewarm with him. I'm not going to mention Steph, Cass, Duke, or even Helena because as far as I know they haven't really done enough I'm still pretty new to DCU and was introduced through spider-man crossovers but from what I've seen in some tim-centric fics he has it ROUGH. Tim who just is so fucking tired that he just says fuck it Bruce doesn't need me anymore I'll do my own shit elsewhere and see if I ever do shit for you guys again and watching the Batfam fall apart with Tim because HE was the one who pulled Bruce's head out of his ass when Jason died. HE was the one who basically had to take care of this grown-ass man so that he didn't fucking keel over when he was THIRTEEN. He was the one who had to stop Bruce from using such excessive force against petty criminals. HE was the one who sucked it up when Jason came for his ass in the Titan's Tower because hey he'd be pretty upset if he was forcibly brought back to life to find someone else had taken his spot. and this is his favorite Robin we're talking about! HE was the one who dealt with Jason's bullshit after everything was said and done and was one of the only members of the family to treat him normally. HE was the one who refused to give up on Bruce after he 'died' and went through so much trauma for YEARS and dealt with Ra's bullshit. He literally had his spleen removed leaving him immunocompromised. He ISOLATED himself from the people he cared about for BRUCE. He literally traveled through time for him. And on top of all that, he had his Robin mantle forcibly taken from him and given to this assassin child who hates him. And actively tries to kill him. Plus Dick think he was absolutely crazy all the time, which, yeah, fair enough. I might be wrong but didn't he successfully clone Superboy? That's some crazy person shit DIDN'T HE MAKE OUT WITH SUPERBOY'S EX THINKING ABOUT HIM? that's some crazy homosexual shit that I won't be tapping into today. So, yeah, excuse Tim if he's just finally so done with everything and everyone.

[gingiekittycat]

Does Crowley actually love Aziraphale?

The more I think about season 2, the more I write about it here on Tumblr and in fic, the more I'm starting to believe that he... doesn't.

Not yet anyway.

I think there is something deeply unhealthy about what Crowley feels for Aziraphale, as evidenced by how completely miserable he is this season. He's so afraid of losing Aziraphale, losing their "precious, peaceful, fragile existence", that he's worked himself into a constant state of anxiety. He's angry this season. He's upset. He's scared. He's trying so hard to hold something so tightly because he thinks if he loses it, he won't be able to survive.

He's always two minutes away from Aziraphale's door. He's sleeping in his car. Could he get another flat? I'm sure he could. Anthony J. Crowley could figure out a way to get another flat. He doesn't want to. He wants to be ready to go to Aziraphale at a moment's notice. He desperately does not want Aziraphale to go to Edinburgh, because he's afraid something will happen to him there. He doesn't give a shit about Aziraphale driving his car, he just doesn't want Aziraphale to leave. And then even when he does give in, he checks up on him, he puts some creepy "I can feel what you do to the Bentley" charm on his poor car, to keep checking up on him. The closer he feels to losing Aziraphale, the tighter he clings to him, until he's literally following him around everywhere (like when Aziraphale is trying to convince all the shopkeepers to come to his meeting).

I could go on. And on and on.

The point is, as we see from the Job episode, that Crowley is lonely. He didn't fit in at Heaven, he doesn't fit in with Hell, and from the first rainstorm in the Garden of Eden "our hero" has coped by clinging to the one person who has showed him any sort of relief from that loneliness.

He's not in love. He's obsessed.

He's been obsessed since the Garden. Popping up wherever Aziraphale is, following him around the Earth. Saving his skin, if need be, even though Aziraphale is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. And it gets stronger and stronger as the years pass, as they get closer to each other, as they get closer to Armageddon, and then as they deal with the aftermath.

Crowley never used the word "love" in his confession. I think that's a deliberate writing choice, not necessarily because Crowley didn't want to use the word. I think Crowley thinks it's love, but the fact that he didn't use that word shows the audience that it's not. He's desperate for the idea of an "us", even in season 1 he's obsessed with it, "we're on our side", "us against them." A group of the two of them. Crowley is obsessed with the idea that they are part of something together, something bigger than themselves, because Crowley is not part of anything else, not Heaven, not Hell, and he just wants to belong.

And with all that said... I think it's good that they broke up.

I think it's a good thing for Crowley. I think he needs to take a break. I think he needs to work on himself, work through some of his trauma. I think he can love Aziraphale, but he's got to do some work to get there.

Will we get this in season 3? We'll have to see...

[ofdemonsandangels]

A Masterlist of My Favorite GriffGuts fics Part 2

Well hello again! We're coming up on two years since my last GriffGuts fic rec masterlist and so many amazing fics have come out since then! I'm really happy that the original list got so much love, I really can't wait to share more of my favorites with you all, both new or looked over from before <3

One-Shots

White Hawk Down by bishounenjump

Summary:

Sometimes Guts forgets that Griffith is just a man. A man with a body.

My comments:

A missing scene from canon that we all wish could have happened

Snowmelt by bthump

Summary:

Once again, Griffith acts impulsively when it comes to Guts. AU where Griffith doesn't find out that Guts left the Hawks until after he's gone.

My comments:

The way I was waiting for two whole years for another bthump fic after Refraction lmao. This fic is one of those fics that you pull up to cope with after you remember what happened in canon.

What would happen if the duel in the snow never happened but Griffith still chased after Guts to bring him back? Find out in 10.2k words of peak writing. In bthump we trust (￣^￣)ゞ

Late Night Reverie by bishounenjump

Summary:

"He won’t hesitate to admit that he loves being king. No blustering nobleman can take that from him.

And yet, on nights like this, when he can drink in the broad expanse of his commander — his dark brow and gentle gaze and absurdly strong physique — he knows that some dreams do occasionally obscure others."

My comments:

A very heartwarming glimpse into a future that Guts and Griffith could've had. I feel all warm inside whenever I reread this fic

we're not in love, we share no stories by Alyss_Baskerville

Summary:

Though the gash on Guts’ shoulder heals, his eyes now skip right past Griffith.

My comments:

Whereas the previous fic rec was a sweet look into a future that never was, this fic is a painful one. Holy hell did I feel like someone had carved my heart out of my chest when I had finished the final line. It reminds me a lot of the film, Atonement, so if you've seen the film, you can take a lot more away from this fic.

In the Absence of Light by Ghidorahs_Child

Summary:

Schierke aches for him, for the happiness he was denied, for the love he has lost.

My comments:

Guts and Schierke share their own Corridor of Dreams moments and it's just as bittersweet as you think it is

A Dreamless Sleep by Queenbananya

Summary:

“I’ve killed children for you,” Guts said, lying next to Griffith on a patch of grass. He peered up at the stars and remembered the kid’s face, the hand that reached out to him helplessly as the last trace of life faded from his eyes.

Or, Guts seeks comfort from Griffith, months after he's killed Adonis.

My comments:

Griffith comforting Guts as he deals with the trauma of killing Adonis is something we all desperately wanted at some point

That Dawn in the Snow by Nefastum

Summary:

He wondered now if Griffith even remembered there were others around him, or if he had completely shut them out. Casca and Judeau were staring in uncertainty, and not far back up the road it was easy to see Rickert, Corkus, and Pippin in earshot of most of their conversation. Griffith didn’t falter, though. It was like all he could see was Guts, and perhaps they’d have to find an excuse for his vulnerability later for the others. Guts could sympathize, though. The feeling was mutual.

My comments:

You can never go wrong with a duel in the snow au, and this fic is no different. The characterization of Griffith here is really great too and probably one of my favorite takes of him for this scene in particular

This Fleeting Dream by Queenbananya

Summary:

"To me... they are not friends. A friend is someone that is my equal."

Perhaps it was the way his thoughts had strayed in that direction, or simply how attuned he was to the movements of his soldiers. His eyes could always find him. Guts stood there, listening. And in his eyes, there was heartbreak.

Or, Griffith catches Guts listening in his famous fountain conversation with Charlotte and follows after him. Essentially, an exploration of his character and feelings for Guts.

My comments:

A very interesting take on a "Griffith clearing everything up with Guts after he finds out he overheard his dream speech at the fountain" au. Equal parts fluff and equal parts angst

Forever Facade by TheriOlis

Summary:

Slan has come to see what manner of flower grows atop the bones buried beneath Griffith's garden.

My comments:

The GriffGuts in this fic is mild but as the resident Slan thirster, I need you all to read this because it's really fucking good. NeoGriff being egged on by Slan for nearly 2k words? Yes, YEs, YES

Recoil and Grace by aloveleyburn

Summary:

Their fingers wind together in the darkness. Outside there is that ever-present chirping of birds and insects – the music of those dark hours, calming as cool water. Outside some car alarm goes off in the empty streets, and on the bedside table, clock reads 2:47am.

My comments:

There are so many words that I could use to describe this fic, but I think I'll just settle on 'quintessential'. I can't remember the last time I was so enthralled by a fic, so glued to my screen and absorbing every single word in front of me. The way that Ariel blends the two storylines into one in such a flawless manner reminds me of a weaver stitching together two scenes in a tapestry. Each thread is connected in a way that matters.

If there's one fic you walk away with from this list, I hope that this is the fic.

Property by starry_dynamo

Summary:

“I’ve wanted you since the moment we met, and if the reason you never returned my advances was that you felt tainted by that scum from your past, I will carve him from your memory. You are not his. You belong to me, and I want your body to never forget.”

Griffith learns why Guts has a problem with intimacy. Guts learns he has another purpose.

My comments:

BDSM to cope with trauma. That's it. It's nice and sweet and hot at the same time.

Geleotto fu il Libro by Ghidorahs_child

Summary:

"I have nightmares of you leaving me."

My comments:

GriffGuts gets ready for bed together! Featuring book talk, insecurities, and lots of domestic fluff

Steel Groove by Maplekites

Summary:

The Hawks enjoy celebrating anything they can.

My comments:

GriffGuts, my dancing queens

Completed Multi-Chapter Fics

When Night Comes Down by alovelyburn

Summary:

"If you stand far enough outside the tapestry, you can see the many threads and paths unwalked. The points of change can be so tiny they go unnoticed at the time... though the ripples travel for centuries and more, into eternity. Yet, in the end, all paths lead to one path. There may be deviations, yes, yet still we dance that same dance, with the steps assigned to us by fate. It is inevitable. One must die to resurrect. One must fall to rise."

My comments:

This fic is my Roman Empire. If Apostle!Guts is your thing, this fic is the perfect fic for you.

Ongoing Multi-Chapter Fics

our castle was always made of sand by meereens

Summary:

His life was easy to understand. Mother liked to tell him stories, wrapped up in their canopy bed with warmth crackling in her words. He was born from a real-life fairytale, everyone knew it, from a dashing knight’s love for a simple princess.

Queen Charlotte and King Griffith's young son uncovers something he was not meant to know.

My comments:

This is THEE GriffGuts kid fic (and the only one to my knowledge too haha). It's the perfect "Griffith gets guy and the throne" au and really explores what GriffGuts would look like from a child's perspective, specifically Griffith's son's perspective. I know that kid fics can be annoying with the way some people write kids but trust me, William Leopold Guts Charles Wyndham is the cutest little guy ever and I would lay down my life for him.

Fic Series

Sehnsucht by SeaDragons (SimpleNefelibata)

My comments:

GriffGuts: Hurt no Comfort the Series

[matan4il]

911 ep 707 first watch reactions

Oh man, I'm actually not sure I have that much to say about this ep.

The entire plot with Mara and her brother Tyson was very sweet, very nice, and way too convenient. One day, shows are going to stop using the phrase, "There must be something you can do!" like it's some secret magic phrase, that makes this sentiment into a reality, AND turns the person addressed into someone willing to risk everything, in order to do that one thing they can do, which is usually something they're very much not supposed to... That said, Denny was sweet, Mara was lovely, her with Tyson was very endearing, and Henren continued to rule.

The storyline with Maddie was nicely handled, both her trauma, and the way Chim helped her use it to figure out the case and help save everyone from the stalker. My little Madney heart absolutely loved it. And Maddie's distress over a baby involved felt very real and understandable, when she's a mom herself now.

But then in a sense, it was clear this has no long term repercussions, other than bringing Brad into contact with Bobby. With his burn scars, and what we know about the fire that Bobby caused in the past, we can guess where this is headed. I trust that 911 will delve into this coming clash with the same humaneness with which it tackles most storylines.

But I'll be honest, I don't really like where Eddie's headed. I know Shannon scarred him deeply, but he was able to let go of her, and allow her to walk away from him twice while she was alive. It's weird if it's now being implied that the reason why he was never able to move on to another serious r/s is that he was stuck on her. The way she died was traumatic and painful, and it made sense that, even accepting that they as a couple were over, he had a hard time dealing with her death, but Eddie seemingly moved on in s4 at the latest. It feels a bit like they don't really know what to do with him, and how to move him on, so they keep going in circles with his character. Kinda like they were with Buck in s6. None of what we saw in that season helped Buck get to some major breakthroughs that we've seen in this one, so this current storyline with Eddie might end in the same way.

I'm not saying it doesn't have the potential to move him forward, and I'm sure it will be presented as if it has whether it actually does or doesn't (kinda like how 618 presented Buck and Natalia as a move forward, even though it very obviously was not), but right now, I'm not enjoying it. I also... even with this idea of having Eddie run into a Shannon look-a-like, I feel they could have gone in a lot of different ways, and the one where he goes on a date with her while having a serious gf he's essentially cheating on, it just doesn't feel great, or true to Eddie's values. Which can be the point, right? That sometimes we're so shaken up, we do stuff that's uncharacteristic. If that's where they'll take it, then it's working, 'coz right now, everything about this feels a little off. Let's hope they do something actually constructive with this, and give Eddie real progress (rather than just give Tim an opportunity to re-use an actress he already said he really likes).

Small mandatory Buddifer moment was really lovely, even if far from what my shipper heart would want. Then again, I honestly feel it's so funny that Buck is dating Tommy, while being married to Eddie, his actual baby daddy. If there aren't a lot of fics shipping all three men already, then IDK fandom.

Thank you for reading! If you’re looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[faeriekit]

🥭 Rank from most enjoyable/fun to write to least: Fluff, Smut, Angst, Crack.

I can't remember which fic got me into your writing but I am really enjoying health and hybrids I think the attention to detail with language barriers is neat 😊 I feel like these options can be mixed a lot in writing would the ranking change depending on the combos?

I need you to know before anything that I had half this post penned and my computer randomly refreshed my post and burnt all of it. 💀

So. I can't. Uh. I can't do all of my fics on a scale, because of, um,

that. So. I'm just going to do a straight best to worst. Sound good? Great because I have no other idea how to tackle any of this.

Fluff:

Best: Snowdrift Sanctuary. Although even my best fluff has a little bit of angst in it, this is a sweet, warm story of inter-species fostering and the care it provides. What's not to love? It was even a Phic Phight fill, so I got to surprise someone with it.

Worst: Rituals and Rites. There's nothing wrong with this one; it's a cute ask fill, it's got some great silliness in it and a little irreverence, and I'm always happy to archive my stuff on ao3 lest tumblr finally pull the plug, but I always dislike uploading individual lil' things onto ao3 when there isn't much to them. It's not bad, I just...don't have a lot of fluff to pad out this binary lol

Smut:

Best: Lazy Sunday. By the time I got to this one I'd largely already hit my stride writing smut stuff, I liked how this couple gelled (and even have a few as-yet-unwritten scenes of their relationship I may never get around to!) and I like the couple as they are: weird and complicated and persevering into a yet-unseen realm of intimacy! I'm also not super into the kink in question, so it was super nice to see the piece well received by people who are into it and thought it worked well lol. How sad would it be if you tried to write a niche kink and it ended up completely flopping lmao T_T I'd never show my face in this town again.

Worst: A Visitation. Do not get me wrong, I love this fic, but you gotta remember that I wrote the first chapter completely exhausted and out of my gourd with fucking cauvid. 😭 I'm shocked it came out coherent at all! And everyone helped me workshop the last chapter, and it took forever to the point where I was writing like thousands of words a day and it was eating up my whole life...and sometimes I still go back in to reread it and I find MORE errors! 😭😭 This fic had all the birthing pains! Worth it, but OW!

Angst:

Best: Dig Three Graves In Apartment 31C. I rreeeeeeally almost put Hybrids here, but in the end, Hybrids is a hopeful recovery fic. This fic is all grief and loss and the stench of the aftermath of acute trauma in the air. It is sad— sometimes I still get comments shocked at how well it worked lol— and although the excruciatingly tough epilogue yon author had to write lifts it a little, it's not... There's no cure for this. Everyone in this picture is dead. That's just the way it is.

Worst: Feet on the Ground. A similar deal: I really like this fic but there wasn't a great ending line to close on so it's just...mediocre. I probably should have just waited to see if time would fix it, but it was a Phic Phight fill and we're kind of on a timer during the event, and I wanted to get it out so I could start working on other people's asks, so... 6/10. Fascinating concept, mid execution.

Crack:

Best: Infection versus Infestation. It was either this or one of the MPreg fills lmao, and I just. There's just so much going on here. The support network. The mental health. The powerpoint presentations. Bees. Medical pamphlets. Aliens. QPRs. Maybe the real fic is in the groupchats you made along the way. No notes hands down my one true rec for weird fics; all the way up and all the way down, it's inherently GenderFucked and surreal and young idiot adult bullshit. I love them your honor.

Worst: Percy Jackson, God of the Shrimps. A discord in-joke never makes sense as a discord out-joke. I am astounded people read this to this very day. I make it worse every time I even mention it in a post, but hey, that's showbiz. If you read this and actually found something there, more power to you. If you read this and were like "???"...yeah lmao

I'm glad you're liking health and hybrids so far! It's so funny to think that Hybrids used to be my downtime fic to recover from my other fics lmao...now it's beating Blister Pack to the tune of an additional 100,000 hits. I genuinely can't even conceptualize that number in my head. It's a such a bonkers concept that so many people could be glancing at a medical trauma fic from lil' ol' me. High school Faer who took anatomy classes for fun would be ecstatic. In the end, I tried to get a couple of unique fics to fill each category just because I like them so much. Sue me. It's my fic and sometimes I wanna talk about them with people lol.

Thanks for asking! 🧡🧡🧡🧡 This was fun!

[romanarose]

If You Wanna Be Wild: Chapter 6

Co-written with @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction my beloved Fen, who I could not do this without. Thank you for being my emotional sounding board, my dear friend, my wonderful cowriter and helpful beta reader. I adore you.

Javier Peña x Latina!sex worker!informant!Reader x Santiago Garcia

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Summary: Santi takes Candy out, and Javier gets jealous, but still he defends them both. Drama erupts, and Santi finds something out about himself.

Content and warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter unless something is added: Sex work, drug trade, some drug use/pressured used, sex workers and the mistreatment/stigma surrounding them specifically in the 70’s (my blog is sex worker positive) but ima put potential dub con depending how you look at it as a sex worker who works with dangerous men, some action surrounding reader and the guys and the drug trade, SMUT HEAVY, corruption kink (were corrupting santi here, he’s young, 25), no loss of virginity tho, threesomes, some slight m/m smut but that’s not the focus here, but as you know this blog is an lgbt blog so I’m always open to gay shit. Talk of war and some PTSD but I won't be going a whole lot into it. Covert/emotional incest in the past, Santi's mommy issues, m/m dynamics, internalized bi/homophobia

For the record, this is a fic that takes place in the drug trade and deals with the darker side of humanity, so anything from Narco's and Triple Frontier is liable to be discussed or mentioned here. This is your warning. This is not a dark fic nor is it centered around dark themes like Leather and Lace or Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside, but they are open to be talked about.

Reader has a nick name: Candy. Not her real name just what she goes by on her profession. Much of the inspo for this and for the title came from the Bruce Springsteen song “Candy’s room” so check it out for the vibes.

Reader speaks Spanish and has hair. I've decided Candy is just latina bc she's a sex worker in Colombia so this is what I'm doing. Reader also has curly hair and dark skin.

ADDITIONAL WARNINGS!: Santi's panicy trauma response. Santi's mommy issues in full swing. Javier is jealous, lots of arguments. Cumming untouched, titty sucking. We're in for it boys!

THE SMUT WAS 100% WRITTEN BY THE AMAZING @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction i knew i needed mommy kink and he was the one to go to. If you like subby men, Fen, my dearest cowritter, writes great fics esp with Steven Grant <3 What Fen said when they wrote it "Yoooooo, what am I writing Romana? Madness? I think so."

6.7 words (I'm so fucking sorry okay A LOT WAS HAPPENING)

A/N Since I am apparently an incomprehensible writer, please know that the smut scene in the last chapter was not a threesome, it's Javi fingering Candy and Candy flashing back to her giving Santi a reach around handjob. I wanted to compare and contrast the way the two pairs care for and pleasure each other. but it came across as a threesome :(

Support writers! Reblog and comment!

***************

Santiago didn’t know why he was so nervous.

“What we need is to get out into the actual field!” Javier exclaimed, setting his mug down loud enough to make Santi jump. “Sorry, Garcia.” He muttered, wiping a bit of spilled coffee with his sleeve.

Santiago rolled his shoulders, reaching back to rub his spine over the scar. The surgery saved his life, but damn did it hurt. “S’alright. Listen, I had an idea, but I don’t know if it’s going to be anything. It does get us out of the office next week.”

“I’ll take it, what do you have, Pope.”

Santi smiled. “Well, the nickname is fitting. It’s a rally for the beatification of Laura Montoya.”

A smile quirked up on Javier’s grumpy face. Unbuckling his belt after a second round of stress donuts, Javi kicked his legs up on his desk. “Of course you would know that.”

“My tia invited me.” He shoved Javi’s boots off, then wiped his hands on his pants. “We know what his family looks like now, maybe they will be there? It’s something.”

Javier agreed, it was something. Tracking Lorea had not gone as well as Escabar had. Not that that was a flawless mission itself, but at least it had traction. Martin Lorea was far less public.

The pair settled into an easy rhythm of planning the event. Santiago would have to avoid his tia’s, he thought. That may be hard, considering he had 4 and several cousins who will likely be attending the event. Colombia doesn’t have a canonized saint yet, and she was recognized as venerable so her potential beautification was a big deal for Colombia. Still, he couldn’t be recognized at the rally, his family would want to talk and talk and talk and ask why he didn’t have girlfriend and talk and ask who Javier was, and Tia Lupe would ask him if he had a ‘modern arrangement’ with Javier which would make Santi sick to his stomach with anxiety and- fuck he felt like the donut he stole from Javi was coming back up.

“Gotta go, be right back.”

“I’ll be timing you.” Javier kicked his legs back up on his desk and closed his eyes.

Over the toilet, Santi dry heaved, unsure if he was really going to puke or just felt like it. What the hell was it with Javier these days that made him so anxious? Things had been going well, their friendship repaired in the months since Javier caught him and Candy together. Other than Frankie, who would always be his number one, Javi was his best friend. He’d die for him the way he’d have died for Will, Frank or Ben… but there was something more. Since the day they met, Santiago wanted nothing more than Javier’s approval, he strived for it… maybe it was that he saw Javi as a father figure, almost 15 years older than him… that wasn’t right either. He couldn’t place it until earlier this week.

The DEA ball was coming up, Javier had asked Santi if he wanted to carpool since they both didn’t have dates and lived near-by… to which Santi said he actually had a date. She was a surprise. So was the fact Javier wanted to go.

The “Oh” that had fallen out of his mouth though Santiago off. It sounded disappointed. Santi couldn’t stand Javier disappointed in him. That’s when the thought happened. ‘I wish we could just go together’ Not arrive together. Go together. As a couple. His first thought was no, that’s illegal. His second thought was no, he’d go to hell. His third was him mami, god rest her soul, would roll over in her grave.

He shook the thoughts away, but ever since then he began noticing the way he stared at Javi, the way his body buzzed with any incidental touch… He had to shove it down.

Certainly, Javier was open-minded, but he would to spend as much time as he did with him if he was gay, right? He wouldn’t incite Santi over for futball games on the tv, he wouldn’t take him with him to get lunch… he wouldn’t even want to work with him. It would all be over.

That’s what made Santi sick.

That, and the anxiety over who his secret date was.

*

You didn’t know why you were so goddamn nervous.

You had to admit, you were very surprised when Santiago showed up for his regularly scheduled appointment, flowers in hand, asking you to join him at the ball.

“Santi… sweetie… I don’t know…”

His large eyes looked nervous. “It’s a job! I’ll pay you, I’m not expecting anything free! And I I know what you’re gonna say, I don’t care about Javi freaking out. Imean, if you care I don’t wanna pressure you of course! I’m not trying to come between you guys, but I doubt he’ll even show. He hates these things.”

“It’s not that I’m worried about…” You take the flowers, thanking him genuinely, and walking to your kitchen. Santiago anxiously paced your walls, trailing his hands over your posters. “Sweetheart, I know we have a good time, but I am a prostitute, you know this.”

“I swear, I don’t have any notions about us being in love… I just want you there.”

Placing the flowers in the vase, you turn to look at him. “I just… well…” You hesitate, unsure how to not freak the poor kid out. “oh my god, there's no polite way to say this, but, Javier is far from the only DEA agent I’ve slept with. Hell, I slept with the janitor once.”

“Mario’s a cool guy, I don’t blame you.”

“What I’m saying is,” She sighed out her words. “You’re a sweet young man, and I know you’re a lot younger than most of the guys there. I don’t want to cause you any trouble-”

“Candy-”

“And I know I’ll cause you trouble if I’m there. They are going to make fun of you for bringing a hooker to a ball.”

He shook his head. “I don’t care. There’s no one else I want there with me but you, and I don’t care what Javier says, or any of them for that matter.”

You smile softly at the young man. He was earnest, but although you believed he didn’t care about the other guys at the precinct, you didn’t believe him for one second about Javi. Santiago worshiped the ground Javier walked on, it was clear by the way he talked about his partner.

“If you really don’t care, then yes, I’d love to go.”

His youthful face lit up. “Really?!”

“Yes” You giggle. “It sounds like a great night.”

Santiago ran to you, making you squeal as he threw you over his shoulder. “I’m gonna make you cum so many fucking times on my face, Candy, you don’t even know.”

You had to admit you were a little nervous. A lot nervous. He said he didn't think Javier would be there, but you weren’t sure, and hadn’t had a chance to try and prod him for information. You’d asked around, and Javi had been spending several nights with Gabby. This was not unusual, he was known to bounce around women, but he always came back to you. Today, though, it made you jealous as all hell. Santiago made you nervous too.

You wanted to at least make a good impression for him, so you went out and bought a brand new evening gown for the occasion, something classy, showing the curves but not your tits. Your big Farrah Faucet curls that usually accompanied a night with Lorea and his men were dialed down more to a simple look, your make-up more natural that a night on the town with high rollers would see. Still you were beautiful and you knew it. Just less like a hooker.

*

Javier didn’t know why he was so fucking nervous. He never went to these stupid things, much preferring to spend a night undressed with his cock buried between a pretty woman’s legs than stuff himself into a suit that had only gotten tighter in recent years. But, Pope was gonna be there, he was gonna be dressed up in some overdone suite, Javi just knew it. And his stupid curls would be slicked back and inevitably a few would pop out and he’d spend the night trying to keep them back but they would want to be wild and he’d eventually mess with his hair too much and it’d be all every-which-way and, and, and…

So maybe he was late. So maybe he was a little tipsy. Maybe he had been taking pulls of a flask in the back of a taxi but there was coke baggie and a cum stain on the seat so was it really the worst the car had seen? He pulled up to the dance in his too-tight suit, stumbling out a bit, and attempted to find his way inside. He didn’t really want to see Santi dancing with a girl, but if he didn’t show, Santi would worry, and Javi didn’t like Santi worrying.

Javier hoped she was nice. A nice girl because he was a nice young man. Someone to take care of him in some ways, to let him care for her in others… Javi knew he could take care of Sant. He had when he was sick, hadn’t he? Therein lied the reason Javi was drunk. The burn of the liquor was to press down the feeling he couldn’t ignore sober. He wanted Santiago.

“Buenas noche, amigos. ¿Has visto Santiago?”

Javi asked as he stumbled on a few men from the DEA chattering in a corner

One of the men, Freddy, chuckled, taking a sip of his beer. “Oh, you haven't seen him yet?”

This caused all the men to laugh, but Javier didn’t get the joke. He got the feeling whatever it was, they were laughing at Santi. Javier knew Santi hadn’t really clicked with the men. He was too straight laced, too honest… too good.

“The fuck does that mean?” Javier asked with an obvious bit of bite. Santiago was his to protect.

“Young Garcia came here with a whore on his arm.” Another man, Josue, with a patchy mustache he should just call it quits on attempting to grow replies. “Wonder if he knows what she is, or if he’s going to wake up to a nasty bill in the morning.”

The group laughs, and Javier feels panic rising inside him. No. No way. Santiago couldn’t possibly be that stupid, could he? He was the smartest man Javier knew. He’d never risk her like this… 

Freddy continued when he saw Javi’s confused look. “Yeah, Pena, thats what I thought too!” He said with a laugh that Javier knew was not the good natured ribbing he gave Santi. “You know Candy?”

“Uh, yeah, sounds familiar.” The room was spinning, lights and smoke and colors starting to blur.

“The whore on 7th that lets you play rough? Yeah, her.”

Javier snapped to attention again. “What did you just say?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe it either!” He turns to another man Javier doesn’t have it in him to focus on. “I bet Virgin Maria thinks he’s in love.”

Grabbing him by the shoulder, Javier turned Freddy to him. “What the fuck did you say about Garcia?”

“Relaje, Pena. You call him Pope, different name, same meaning.”

But it wasn’t. Santi was Javi’s friend, Javier cared about him. Javier called him Pope to his face and if he thought it upset him, Javi wouldn’t do it. Freddy and the guys were calling him Virgin Maria behind his back, intending on being assholes. It was meant to hurt, it wasn’t true (Santi wasn’t a virgin even before Candy), it was meant to make a mockery of his good nature, his religion, and his morals. The effeminate name was meant to mock his slight build and stature as well as his passive nature. None of them knew the Santiago that Javier knew. They didn’t know the intelligent, compassionate, incredibly capable young former special opes agent who had saved his life multiple times and had given more break throughs on Lorea than he could could.

“Tell me again what you said about Candy.”

*

Despite the fact everyone was staring at them, you had never seen Santi so happy, so relaxed. He had a few drinks and for his small body it probably left him feeling warm and content. You had opted to stay mostly sober, only drinking one glass of white wine from the open bar; Santiago’s generous and soft smile to the bartender only endeared him to you more. 

He was so much fun like this. You loved the time you spent with him in bed, that was fun too, but you’d also come to genuinely enjoy the moments where he wasn’t making you orgasm on his lips again and again. You genuinely cared when you asked him about his day, and had made a mental note of all the names he mentioned at the precinct that were causing him problems that you recognized. You weren’t sure how without outting him, but you’d figure out some way to fuck with them. One who was a massive dick to him, Freddy, was also a massive dick to you too.

Santi was indulging in a cupcake, telling a story of his friend Benny hitting on a woman only to realize her husband was standing next to her.

“It took me, his brother Will, Fish and Redfly to break the fight up. He still won’t go in that neighborhood anymore!” Santi giggles, taking a bite of the vanilla.

You laugh along; he’s an entertaining story teller. “Did he learn his lesson?”

“No! No! That’s the best part!” Santi said as he waved his hands excitedly. “He immediately, and I mean as soon as we cleaned the blood off his face, went and hit on another girl! And you wanna know the worst part?”

“It worked?”

“It work- how did you know that?”

“Women are easy, Santi.” Swaying to the music, you set his cupcake down. He has frosting on his upper lip, just under where his mustache sat.. “We love our men bloodied.” You pull him in close, eyeing his upper lip for the frosting, but he looks like he’s going for a kiss, and who are you to deny such a handsome man?

“Even when they lose?” He speaks, voice soft and sultry. Santi’s eye flick to your lips, his own push pillows parting to receive you.

“Especially when they lose.” You close the gap, taking his lips in yours and licking your tongue over his sugar-covered upper lip, brushing over his mustache. Sweet, just like him. Your sweet man. 

For a moment, you are lost in him, the sounds of the Jim Croce floating in the air.

'Cause every time I tried to tell you

The words just came out wrong

So I'll have to say I love you in a song’

*

CRASH!

Immediately, at the sound of excitement, Santiago is in front of you, guarding your body with his. He doesn’t move, thinking clearly and assessing the situation; looking for where the danger is at and where the best exit points may be. Keep Candy safe. Keep Candy safe. His only goal was her, keep her away from any narcos, terrorists, freedom fighters or drunken men that might be causing a stir. When the center of the commotion was coming from the north, Santiago took Candy’s hand and began to take her to one of the south exits, a lesser used one with less potential for a second assailant, when he felt her tug away.

“JAVI!” She shouts, running towards the danger in high heels, rust colored skirt fluttering just as her flowy sleeves did.

“CANDY!” Running after her, he catches up with ease without the hindrance of heels. Santi tries to stop her, not wanting her near the drunken brawl, but she is on a single minded mission. Javier was under Freddy, who Santiago did not like, and getting the shit beat out of him. If he had a second more, if his focus wasn’t so on Candy, he would have beat her too it… but Candy was quicker

Santiago watches in surprise as she lifts her skirt, pulling a knife out of her garter, getting behind Freddy and gripping his hair hard, knife to his throat.

Everything was a deadly calm, everyone saying so, so still to not disturb the crazy woman with a knife. When Santi looked to Javier to check if he was okay, he saw Javi looking up at her with his big brown eyes, clearly fucking enamored.

“Freddy, get off of him before I tell everyone the weird shit you’re into.”

The next few minuets were a blur. As soon as Freddy was off Javier and Candy’s knife was off him, he was a big man again and the group began arguing. Santiago couldn’t quite pick up what it was about except “KEEP HIS NAME OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!” From Javi.

They were all three escorted out by security; weapons weren’t allowed at the ball.

Outside the doors, a second argument erupted.

Candy tried to approach Javier. “Javi, baby, are you-” But as her hands reached for his swollen face, the older agent stepped back and turned his attention to his mentee. “Are you fucking stupid, Garcia?!”

Santi and Candy both are taken aback by this, but it’s Candy that speaks first. “Don’t talk to him like that!” 

Javier’s anger is turned back to her. “And you! You should know better than this! Than coming here!”

She rolls her eyes. “Javi. It’s literally a part of my job, I’m an escort.”

“FOR DRUG DEALERS!” Javier shouts, throwing his hands in the air and stumbling back. “Not for YOU!”

“So what, he’s too good for me to take out? Dirty whore like me belongs in dirty nightclubs and dirty crackhouses?”

“Oh for fucks sake THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT!”

Instinctively, Santi places himself slightly in front of Candy. “Tone it down, Pena.”

His icy glare turns condescending as a short, drunk, sardonic laugh escapes him. “HA! Do you think you’re in love, Santiago? Do you think you’ll be the magical man that can ‘save her’? That’s not how this works! You aren’t supposed to be bringing prostitutes to government functions, you absolute IDIOT! And you’re especially not supposed to bring HER!”

“ENOUGH!” Candy shouts at him, eyes flashing in anger. “You don’t get to tell him what he can and can’t do, Javi! And you certainly do not have possession over me! I am not yours! Just because we fuck does not mean you own me, and you don’t get to decide who I sleep with. Like you said, I am a prostitute, one of SEVERAL you frequent, so I wouldn’t be getting too high and mighty about being careful when everyone knows Helena nearly died working for you! I am not yours!”

Javier scoffs. “Oh, and he is? You think he’s your little lover boy, someone to play pretend that you are having a normal relationship with? He’s a scared child, he’s terrified of intimacy and thinks a finger in the ass will send him to hell!”

“Javier, fucking stop it right now.”

“He can’t protect you! He can’t take care of you!”

“Oh, and you can?”

“YES!”

Javier’s shouted words hung in the air, dripping with anger and venom. Santi simply watches, watches them like a scared child watching his parents fight, wishing it would just fucking stop, but it won’t. Not between them. Javier doesn’t back down and Candy isn’t scared of him.

Then, Candy starts to laugh. It’s short little laughs at first but grows louder. “Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME JAVI!” She laughs once more before shaking her head, tugging a bit at her hair as she walks a short circle. Candy shook her head, suddenly calm. “Thunder only happens when it’s raining, players only love you when they’re playing.”

Javi blinked, his voice now noticeably slurred. “What the actual fuck was that.”

Santi stepped up, sliding an arm around Candy’s waist. If she said what she wanted to say, he wanted to guide her away from Javier before he could be more hurtful to her. “It’s from Fleetwood Mac, Javi. You’d know that if you cared enough about her to look into her interests.”

Candy turned to him then, surprised, her soft eyes looking towards him; the hint of a smile on her face.

Javier, however, looked bewildered. “Her interests?You. Are not. DATING HER!”

“I still care about her!” Santiago defended himself. “Just because I’m not a sad slut who can’t emotionally attach to anyone anymore doesn’t mean I treat her like she’s not a person!”

Javier looked like he was about to speak, then shook his head. “This is fucking insane. This is not a Hollywood movie, there is no happy ending here, FUCK YOU GUYS and FUCK THE GODDAMN PRESINCT”

With that, Javier stormed off, angrily mumbling about one thing or another and his broad form shrunk down the street.

It was then Santi felt her begin to shake. Thinking quick, he took off his sports coat and wrapped it around her. “Hey, hey bebita,¿Estás bien?”

“Si” She shook her head a bit, then turned to him with an irritated look “He just really pisses me off sometimes, you know?”

Santi chuckled. “I know. He’s an asshole, let’s not worry about him, okay?” He wrapped his arms around her, and Candy allowed herself to sink into him. Santiago felt her relax, laying her head on him. He was angry, so fucking angry at Javier for the things he said to Candy, the way he spoke to her, it was hurting with jaw with how much he was clenching it… but it was clear Candy was upset too. His feelings didn’t matter, her’s did. He needed to be her man, be her strength, so he pushed his feelings aside.

Through the doors of the ballroom they could still here the live music playing, and he felt Candy gasp as The Eagle’s hit song, Peaceful Easy Feeling, began.

“I love this song…” She whispered, beginning to sway to the music. The stars were out, shining on her. It felt like they shined for her alone.

‘I like the way your sparkling earrings lay

Against your skin, it's so brown’

“I know.” Santi whispered against her skin. “I asked them to play it.” He sang the next line into her skin.

‘Y quiero dormir contigo en el desierto esta noche

Con mil millones de estrellas alrededor’

Candy took her head off him to look into his eyes. Fuck, she was pretty. So so pretty. He wanted her with him all the time, even though he knew it wasn’t possible. He wasn’t in love. Santi wasn’t sure he was capable of romantic love, honestly. He wasn’t sure he was capable of a love that was safe. But whatever he had with Candy right now it was good.

“You requested this song for me?”

‘'Cause I gotta peaceful easy feeling

And I know you won't let me down

'Cause I'm already standing

On the ground’

“Of course I did… wanted to make sure there was music you liked.” Santiago stroked her hair, careful to not mess it up, just enough to feel her. He began to dance with her in earnest.

“You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever met, you know that?”

“And I found out a long time ago

What a woman can do to your soul

Ah, but she can't take you anyway

You don't already know how to go”

Santiago twirled her, making Candy giggle. 

“You listen to Fleetwood Mac?” She asked him through her laughs.

‘And I gotta peaceful easy feeling

And I know you won't let me down

'Cause I'm already standing

On the ground’

He shrugged. “I didn’t until I saw you had three albums, a Fleetwood Mac poster AND a Stevie Nicks poster.”

“So you… just decided to listen?”

“They're clearly important to you.”

He sings to her once again in Spanish

‘Tengo este presentimiento de que te conozco

Como amante y como amiga’

Candy whispers in his ear. “I enjoy our time together. I hope you know that. I do consider you a lover and a friend, Santiago.”

‘But this voice keeps whispering

In my other ear, tells me

I may never see you again’

Santiago believed her, but the ever-presant anxiety inside him told him this was temperary. Don’t feel safe, don’t feel comfortable. You are expendable. You are only loved as long as you are useful. You are only loved as long as you are perfect and good and right all the time. You can never mess up. If you do, WHEN you do, she’ll walk away just like Javi did. Still, he shakes these thoughts off and tries to focus on her. Focus on Candy. 

‘Porque tengo un sentimiento tranquilo y pacifico

Y se que decepcionarás

Porque ya estoy parado

En el suelo’

As the song ended, Santi dipped a giggling Candy down low, admiring the way the dress flowed over her beautiful body.

“Hey Candy, they aren’t gonna let us back in there, wanna hop some shitty bars?”

“I’d like nothing more, Santiago.”

*

Back at his apartment, Candy and Santi giggled their way into his bedroom. A slightly tipsy Santi flopped down on his bed, sighing out a declaration that this was the best night of his life. When he opens his eyes again, he sees you smiling at him. He thinks that he wants to see you in his home more often.

“You look really pretty in that dress, you know that?” Santi says with a love-sick smile plastered all over his face. 

You can’t help but smile back, unable to hamper the little laugh that lightens your chest. He was a bit more tipsy than you’d thought. 

He pouts a little, being overly dramatic on purpose as he leans up on his elbows, his left leg half hanging off the bed as you stand watching him. 

“Don’t laugh.” He pulls a face that has the opposite effect. 

You don’t give him the chance to retort again and poke his foot with your index finger, while you school your face into a mock disapproving scowl. “Shoes on in bed?” You tut, expecting another pout and tease back from him, a shrug and a chorus of ‘Well it’s my bed, I can do whatever I want.’ 

But instead, his eyes widened a little, a small dusting of light pink blossoming over his brown cheeks and nose and highlighting his faint freckles. “S-sorry.” He mumbles quickly, scrabbling up into a sitting position to undo his laces. He’s pulled off one shoe and dropped it carefully to the floor before you even have a chance to register what he’s doing. 

“Hey, hey,” you sit down next to him, your thigh touching his, and stroke your left hand through his curls. They’re a little stiffer than usual from the product he used for the occasion; it hasn’t stopped more than a few rough strands from breaking free though. 

Santi leans into your touch instantly, instinctively closing his eyes and sighing, a weight lifting from his ribs. You wouldn’t be surprised if he started purring. 

“You okay?” You whisper, continuing to run your fingers softly through his hair. 

He nods and hums an affirmative. 

You’re about to ask again, unable to stop yourself from double-checking his well-being. That seed of affection for Santi that first settled in your heart weeks ago has now grown and rooted into your chest, its vines and leaves twisted around your rib cage, seeking out your love like sunlight. 

Just as the words form on your tongue you notice the not-so-subtle bulge in his trousers and bite back a smile. 

Ah.

Not distress. Not panic. Nothing like that at all. Not right now, anyway.

Santi can’t see your expression with his eyes closed. He’s shifted closer, his temple gently against your shoulder as you stroke his hair. He sighs happily, almost dreamily. 

It’s nice to see him like this, relaxed into your touch. He too often seems anxious, worried, worrying about his military friends, worried about Javi, worried about his family although those details remain vague. He’s mentioned his sisters lives in the US, Atlanta she thought, his tia’s he saw so often here, and every now and then a brief mention of his mom but only in passing. You place a soft kiss on his forehead, leaving a faint lipstick stain on his skin and he presses closer to you, nuzzling into the nape of your neck. 

Languidly you run your free hand up his thigh, just tracing your fingers over his crotch before you squeeze. 

The sharp, low moan that escapes his lips is more than worth it, though the gasped word that tumbles out is a bit of a surprise. 

“Mommy,” 

He freezes instantly, his eyes going wide and teeth audibly snapping shut. In less than a second he’s racking his brain, trying to work out how, why, where did that word come from? What deep, dark recess of his mind forced that word to the surface? Something was wrong with him. Something fundamentally wrong with him, deep down in the recesses of his brain. He was fucked up. He was going to hell.

Maybe you hadn’t heard it. Maybe you wouldn’t notice it. But already Santi knew those hopes were a lost cause. The way your hand had tightened momentarily in his hair the second it slipped past his tongue. He’d had a drink, a few drinks- although they’d mostly worn off throughout the night- that was a good enough excuse right? Oh god. What must you think? What would you-

“You’re my good boy, aren’t you?” Your voice was low and sweet, a caress to his very soul and he shivered in spite of himself, moaning again and squeezing his eyes shut as you stroked his painfully hard cock. 

He nodded his head rapidly, not wanting to disappoint you. He’d be good, he’d be so fucking good for you. His breath hot on your neck as he pressed closer, angling his body completely towards you with a soft whimper. 

You continued stroking him for a moment longer, pressing the heel of your palm firmly against his thick base before you unzipped his fly and flicked open his trouser buttons. You always loved this, loved how needy he got, how desperate for you.

Santi groaned loudly, his lips against your neck, half muffling his words against your skin as he squirmed into your touch. 

“Hmm?” You halted your actions teasingly, waiting for him to repeat himself. 

The small sob and bob of his throat nearly broke your resolve, but he pulled his face away from you a fraction to speak. 

“Mommy, please,” he whispered. 

You couldn’t help yourself, it wasn’t like it was the first man to call you ‘mommy’ in bed, but there was something about sweet, innocent Santi who had blushed his way through your first encounter not that long ago speaking that world that set your blood ablaze. 

“Please what?” You teased. 

He squirmed again, bucking helplessly against your hand. “Please?”

“You’re gonna have to use a few more words than that pretty boy, or I won’t be able to help you.”

Santi let out an anguished sigh, pressing his face into your neck once more.

Quickly, you moved your hand away from his weeping cock and firmly pinched his chin between your fingers, pulling him back ever so slightly so that you could look into his dark brown eyes as you title his face up. 

“If you don’t speak, Mommy won’t be able to help you.” 

Santi audibly moaned, his eyes rolling back for a split second before he shut them tight. His dick twitched uncontrollably. 

“Yes, please, sorry, I’ll be good, I’ll be a good boy.” His words were all rushed together and there was a hazy look to his gaze when he opened his eyes again, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. 

You petted his hair gently. “I know you will be, Mommy’s got you, sweetheart.”

He whimpered, rubbing his thighs together with every word. 

“Now, tell me what you want.” 

“Can I,” he swallowed again, placing his hand on the zip of your dress, “can I undo this?” 

That wasn’t what you expected him to say, and you raised an eyebrow at him lazily as you smiled and nodded. 

Santi let out a little nervous breath before hastily undoing the dress and carefully slipping it off your shoulders and down to your waist. You weren’t wearing a bra.

He held his breath as he gazed at your chest, his left hand hovering just above your skin as he stared with reverence. As if he hadn’t seen you semi-naked many, many times before. 

You stroked his hair again. “You’re such a good buy, aren’t you? Asking for what you need?” You say softly, just to gently break him out of his trance. You did enjoy teasing him, but never for very long. He always listened, always did as he was told, and you were happy to reward him

He nods quickly, never taking his eyes off your breasts. The tip of his tongue pokes out and wets his bottom lip. 

Ever so slowly he leans forward, placing a light, sweet kiss to your lips, the corner of your mouth, your cheek, before trailing down to your neck and collarbone. His kisses get messier, wetter, more urgent the further down he goes and you don’t expect him to pause, panting against your skin. 

He looks up at you with large eyes that send a shudder of heat through your core. “Can I kiss your breasts… mommy?” He adds the name shyly, looking down momentarily so that his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks. 

You keep stroking his hair as you nod, hooking your fingers around the nape of his neck and guiding him towards your chest. He takes the small movement and runs with it instantly, surging forward and covering your breasts in desperate, wet kisses. Switching back and forth between them constantly as if he simply had to lavish each with the exact same amount of attention. He moans as he lightly bites and sucks, his hands digging into your skin as he holds onto you for dear life. 

You press him closer, urging him on by digging your fingers into his curls and scratching your nails along his scalp. He rewards you with another muffled groan, the vibrations reverberating along your skin and sending a shiver of pleasure down your spine. 

Santi pushes closer, the force nearly knocking you onto your back as he latches onto your left nipple. You brace your right hand on the bed behind you so that you can keep your balance. 

“Such a good boy Santi.” You whisper and he whines, looking up at you once with lazy, lust-blown eyes as he keeps his mouth against you. He sucks demandingly, the sensation almost bordering on too much, but still somehow not enough, and swirls his tongue around your nipple before lapping at it and starting the process all over again. His hips are bucking desperately, but he doesn’t dare ask for attention. He knows you’ll take care of him. You always will.

He sighs, shifting, simultaneously trying to get something and not knowing what he wants at the same time. 

You know what he needs though. 

You coo at him, soothing and sweet as you pull in closer into your arms, cradling his head as you gently ease him into your lap. He moans so loudly, the sound quickly becoming a whine in his throat as you embrace him.

For a few seconds, he seems to relax into you, all the stress of the day and previous weeks and months draining from his soul and bones as he gently sucks. But then he starts to squirm, his thighs shaking and stomach muscles tensing. He pulls his mouth off of you with a pop and low, desperate groan. His eyes shut tight and eyebrows knitted together as he whines and presses his forehead against your skin.

“Gonna cum.” At the very back of his mind he has a sense that he should be embarrassed, embarrassed that he’s this far gone and going to cum practically untouched. But he can’t fight the pleasure as it bubbles up his spine, doesn’t want to. 

“You can cum Santi,” you whisper in his ear. “You’re such a good boy, cum for Mommy.” 

He shakes his head, unsure why, tears at the very corners of his eyes, “please.”

“It’s okay,” you soothe, holding him tight and kissing his temple. “I’m here.” 

He moans loudly, latching back onto your breast and sucking for all he’s worth.

“Mommy’s here.” 

He groans again, pulling away a fraction to get his words out. His voice is breath and high. “Want Mommy to cum.” 

The pleading in his voice spikes at the throbbing arousal in your core. “Santi, it’s okay-”

His whine is muffled against your chest as he reaches down, sliding his hands between your legs to caress your body the way he knows you like. You’d taught him exactly how you want to be touched, exactly how you touch yourself. He was an eager learner.

“Santi,” you manage to breathe out through his messy desperate kisses. 

“Mommy needs to cum now please,” he murmurs, his speech slurred against your tongue, 

Your breath catches, thighs squirming as he strokes you, the movements soft but sure. It only takes an embarrassingly short time before you’re moaning into his mouth and tensing as your release overtakes you in a rush. 

When it’s clear you’ve cum, he tenses, his orgasm following through him and bursting behind his eyes. His cock throbs as he empties himself into his pants. You smile softly at his face as his forehead pinches in bliss, your hand still stroking his hair. 

There’s a pause, a small moment of quiet just before he sighs deeply, feeling weak and boneless. And then he looks up at you with his dark, dark eyes. The softness, the relief, the adoration… the sleepiness. 

“So good, Santiago… you’re so good. My perfect boy…”

Santi sighs against your skin, relishing in the tender moment as you play with his hair. “Was that weird?” He mumbles into your skin.

“Noooo, no not at all. It’s very common, actually.”

He looks up at you through heavy lids and suspicious eyes. “Really?”

“Oooooh yeah.” You chuckle. “More often than you think. I’m not here to judge anyone.”

He doesn’t seem convinced, but he seems to relax. “Okay. Yeah. Okay.”

You opt to not talk about it anymore, at least for the time being. He’s so tired right now, coming hard and untouched, and you decide it’s time to put him to bed. By the time you lay him from your lap to his pillow, he’s half asleep, so you opt with minimal dress. Gentle, you unbutton his shirt and slowly, carefully slide his shirt off. When you take off his trousers and underwear fully, you replace them with sweats. You think he’s asleep, breathing slowly and eyes closed. He looks positively angelic. When your getting ready to zip up your dress again, and make your exit, you hear his voice once more.

“Stay the night?”

You sigh. “Santi, I dunno if that’s a good idea…”

His eyes open slightly, just enough so you can see him. “Please, I’ll pay you whatever you want, I just don’t want tonight to end…”

He looks so vulnerable in this moment… and you don’t want this night to end either. Rules be damned. Santi was different. Santi was better. Santi was good. And you?  You deserved some damn good.

“Don’t pay me, I’ll stay.”

Santiago sits up ever so slightly. “No, no Candy this is your job. I don’t expect free-”

“It’s not free, honey.” You begin to strip down, Santi’s sleepy eyes drifting down your naked body, staring at the knife at your garter. “We’re going to sleep, just like I would at home. And tomorrow, you’ll make me breakfast. Sound like a fair trade?” The truth was, sleeping with Santi, actually sleeping with Santi, sounded wonderful. You didn’t want it to feel like a transaction. 

So, you slip into his clothes. You wear a tee shirt and sweats and climb into his bed where you think he’s actually asleep this time. He snores lightly. He sleeps on his stomach, so you rub his back. He feels nice. 

You want better for him. You want him to have a stable life, a loving wife who wasn’t a whore, kids if he wanted them, his family and friends surrounding him. He should have to live in danger, work a dangerous job. He should be allowed to be happy. It wasn’t a life you could give him, you knew… but you could imagine.

You kiss the scar on his spine.

******************

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for reading!!!!

If you're still hear, please drop a lil HI! It's 12 pm here, inching towards 1 but i promised to put this out so i will!!!

Everyone PLEASE GIVE A ROUND OF APPLOUSE FOR FEN FOR THE SMUT IN THE COMMENTS AND REBLOGS SO I CAN MAKE SURE THEY SEE ALL THE LOVE

I hope everyone is saying as safe as they can be in these temps, my heart goes out to all those struggling but especially those in war zones, poverty, homelessness, or in areas that were previously never this cold and thus unprepared for a harsh winter. I know us northerners joke about how cold we get, but I know its different when your infrastructure isnt equipped to take this on.

So tell me friends

Did Javier have a reason to be mad at Santi?

Or was he overreacting?

TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE ARGUEMENT AND YOUR THOTS ON OUR DEAR SANTI

@runa-falls @lunar-ghoulie @campingwiththecharmings @whatthefishh @persephone-girl @criticalarchitecture @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @beelzebeth87 @pimosworld @millerscoffee @heareball @thatwonderouswoman @poolb @meveispunk @lovable-liar @millllenniawrites @read-and-wip @missdictatorme @the-fox-den @milkymoon2483 @k-ra @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @rosellacwrites @legendary-pink-dot @dreamingofbucky @englandsgray @starsthatwatch @fairlyang @alwaysmicado @theywhowriteandknowthings @casa-boiardi @lostfleurs @ninebluehearts @puglover12 @sub-aro @laiisleiite @itspdameronthings @heareball @comfortlessjoy @csarab615 @calaveramangonda @bit-dodgy-innit @stevngrant @kirsteng42 @mrsjavierp @nanfafnan @lovable-liar @axshadows @cookielovesbook-akie @reallyrallyauthor @solar-fics @criticalarchitecture

[olderthannetfic]

I have a question. I’m new to the discourse around fanfiction & censorship, so I was curious about what the general consensus regarding fic about underaged characters in live action media was. Underage is my biggest squick, but I feel pretty neutral about how people write/draw smut of cartoon characters, as they barely register as human for me. Characters played by actual child actors though… I guess I’m just wondering what’s going through the heads of people who write that stuff? Or minor rpf for that matter. What is appealing about it? I’m willing suspend my disbelief & accept that they don’t actually want to abuse kids, but like, what is fulfilling about that fantasy? I’m not in favor of censorship or arresting anyone over a fictional story, but I just can’t wrap my head around it.

--

That's quite a failure of imagination there, anon.

Other people are not you, and they don't necessarily have this squick. That's the main answer.

From people who don't try to problematize this, there isn't really any discourse. Fiction is fiction.

Cartoon characters register as people to plenty of viewers. (And moron antis think cartoon characters count just as much as live action ones when it comes to screaming about problematicness.) Actors playing teenagers are often in their 20s. Coming of age novels dealing with sexuality have been normal all over the world since forever.

--

But let's start with some low hanging fruit:

If you're 17 years + 364 days, you're below the age of consent lots of places. Do you, anon, honestly think it's weird to be into someone one day before their 18th birthday but not the day after? What if you live somewhere where the age of consent is 16? Is it still weird to be into 17-year-olds from places where the age of consent is 18?

Most people remember being teenagers. They may feel nostalgic. They may want to imagine the nice teenage experiences they never got to have.

Lots of fic writers are currently teenagers. Not as many as ageist online spaces think, but still quite a lot. Is it weirder for a 15-year-old to have a crush on a 15-year-old than a 40-year-old?

"They looked 18, Your Honor" is a weak-ass excuse for fucking underage people in real life, but that's not the same as finding characters on your tv hot. Not only are the actors usually above 18 because filming underage actors is a fucking nightmare logistically due to work constraints, but a lot of younger actors are often made up in ways that make them look like they could be way older. People also vary widely in how they look at various ages.

If you can accept that lust exists and is valid, you can accept that lots of people will see some teen and think they're hot. There isn't some specific categorical difference in how all teenagers look and how all 20-somethings look.

Doing something about it in real life and doing something about it in fiction are different.

--

Now, as for "child actors", that term is used for a wide variety of ages, but let's assume you mean Stranger Things wank, like most people moaning about underage actor RPF do, so we're talking about tweens who genuinely do look pretty young to grown-ass adults.

The first thing I have to ask you is why the fuck you would imagine that writers identify with some adult fucking these kids? It's far, far more likely that they identify with the characters themselves or the actors.

Why would they identify with them? It could be anything from working through their own trauma at a similar age to just liking the vibe of a character because of how the show is written.

Lots of people's brains barf out dark scenarios 24/7 without them ever having experienced any major trauma and without it meaning anything much. Some people channel that into fiction.

If you are a boring person who has both a vanilla brain and no imagination, this might seem surprising to you, but it shouldn't.

--

Moreover, your ask implies that underage fic is highly sexual or maybe coercive or something, but you haven't actually stated that. Are we talking about rapefic of 5-year-olds or about someone writing the Stranger Things characters holding hands?

Are you just not sexual at all, anon? Personally, I went from zero to MEGA HORNY at thirteen and a half. It was like a switch flipped. Sure, I wasn't getting any action because I was a zit-covered and socially incompetent 13-year-old, but I was definitely interested.

It's not strange that an artist or author of whatever sort would explore puberty in their art. It's not strange that they'd remember their own sexual awakening or that this awakening would be long before age 18.

It's also not strange if people write super dark shit about small children because it being extreme and taboo and horrible is often the point of art.

--

You're "willing to suspend disbelief"? How magnanimous! How generous!

Seriously, anon?!

The way you've phrased this question makes it sound like you have a brain the size of a walnut.

Would you ask such a stupid question in such an offensively loaded manner about all the coming of age novels that are considered Great Literature™? Would you ask why YA exists?

And if you wouldn't, why is it that amateur writing by women and sexual minorities makes you nervous when mainstream-approved things don't?

[strawburry01]

Strawberry Wine

Summary: Continuation of Northern Attitudes fic, but can be read on its own (extra backstory in We're Going to Be Friends and Enjoy the Silence). Once I figure out how to link shit I will lmao. Hotch has to leave to go home, but neither of them is making it easy.

AN: Sorry I disappeared. I graduated lol! I don't think anyone really noticed but I'll be back for a while now that it's summer :) Sorry if this makes you cry I think I got into some weird cathartic state writing this.

Word Count: 3k

Sure enough, the case was linked to a newly forming underground cult. Luckily you and the BAU team were able to infiltrate a meeting before the next human sacrifice took place, but it wasn’t without weeks of planning every move down to the second. Spencer and you worked well together when it came to preparing every Plan A, B, C, D, all the way to Plan X, and figuring out the best ways to get everyone in and out safely. Spare a few bruises and potential religious affiliated trauma- the team got off pretty uninjured which you did pat yourself on the back on knowing that this poor group didn’t need any more problems to deal with. Not too shabby for a small town bureau like yourself. 

But that’s where the trouble emerged. If the case was closed and the right people arrested, the job was done. The job was done here. They were going to have to go back to Quantico for the next mission, the next case, the next task. 

And you were going to be here. Waiting for the next drunk teen to run a red light. 

All you could think about was the ever-growing elephant in the room of Aaron leaving again. He’d just stumbled back into your life after all these years apart, and god- it felt good to have him back in it. After shifts you would always commiserate over the recent years in your respective forces at the local coffee shop (to the point where the baristas learned his order), and you both just instinctively knew each other on a level the BAU just wouldn’t know. You knew how his eyebrows furrowed when he was thinking, and you knew the line his mouth formed when he heard bad news, you knew how his thumb fit into his balled up fist at his side if he absolutely despised whoever he was talking to, which was usually the moment you’d step in to try and diffuse whatever the situation may be. But also he knew yours. He knew what you needed based on your headache throughout the day, as it unfortunately hadn’t changed much. If it was before 10 am you needed more sleep and he’d make you nap in his car for 20 minutes, if it was between 10 and 2 he knew it was coffee and he’d always magically appear with your order, if it was after 2 pm he’d make you actually eat lunch, and if it was after 8 pm he knew to be dragging you out of the bar. Which unfortunately was the case the last night the team was in town. To celebrate the successful case, as well as saying goodbye, as the two teams had gotten fairly close, everyone went out to the local dive bar in town.

“Where are you?” you furtively texted Aaron on your phone. A shiver running down your spine as you brought a cigarette to your lips trying to focus on the warmth. Aaron hadn’t shown up yet. Sure the party had officially started only half an hour ago, but it was still unlike him to be late. The door of the bar swung out, the janky country music from inside spilling out into the night. 

“What’re you doing out here?” Spencer asked as he stepped outside in line with you. You tap your cigarette, and ash falls into a puddle.

“Just having a smoke,” you say, but the ping from your phone exposes you. Spencer raised an eyebrow and you tried to keep the urge to answer your phone immediately. You mumble a few curse words under your breath as you pulled out your phone.

“Sorry, got a call from Quantico.”, Aaron texted back. You chewed the inside of your cheek. Not the right answer.

“But now you’re on the way…RIGHT?”, you quickly sent back before shoving the phone back in your pocket. You look up to make eye contact with Spencer who can’t help but break into a smirk.

“Hotch not coming?”, he quipped.

“Kid-”, you said, flicking your cigarette out into the ashtray, and placing a hand on Spencer’s bony shoulder, “ you’ve got to keep some of those thoughts inside okay?”, with a reassuring squeeze. He laughed.

“Why do people keep telling me that?”. 

“Because you’re the smartest guy in the FBI who can’t keep his mouth shut,” you replied, just as your phone pinged again. 

“Parking”, he texted back, and you couldn’t help but quickly smile before remembering Spencer was analyzing your every move. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Aaron strode out from the rows of cars. You couldn’t help it, but him in a black t-shirt and slacks nearly had you melting on the spot. He’d been wearing stuffy suits this whole time, and seeing him back in more… peopley clothes, drove you up a wall. 

“Evening you two,” he said with a nod.

“Evening Hotch, how was your call with Garcia?”, Spencer asked as he pushed open the door for his boss. You caught Aaron’s eyes after he not so subtly looked you up and down. Perhaps you were purposeful in choosing your crop top and jeans for the night.

“Mmm, fine,” he answered curtly, his thoughts long having left that conversation. You smile up at Aaron and you briefly catch his mouth waver upwards before turning back to Spencer and stepping into the bar. 

Inside the bar, the two teams had chased anyone else out with their rambunctiousness. 

“You got some catching up to do Aaron,” you said, elbowing his side as the two of you went to the bar. 

“Seems like you do too,” he retorted back, with an eyebrow raised.

“Can I say I was just waiting for you?” you said, which garnered a sharp laugh out of him before he ordered a beer for himself. 

“2 vodka shots for us, and whatever cider you have,” you said once the bartender turned to you.

“You’re trying to kill me,” Aaron said as the bartender set out two shot glasses in front of both of you.

“Do you even hear yourself? Come on Aaron the world is going to be okay if you let loose a little tonight,” you said as you scooted closer to him at the bar, your elbows touching now. Instead of pulling away Aaron stayed in place as he watched the vodka get poured.

“If you insist,” he sighed as he picked up the shotglass in time with you.

“Cheers, to a successful case,” you said. 

“Cheers Y/N”. The two of you downed the alcohol and you couldn’t help but cringe at the way it tore up your throat as it went down. “What happened-you were so confident?” Aaron chuckled as he stacked the glasses.

“I don’t think I’ve done that since college truth be told,” you said as you quickly tried to wash down the aftertaste with the cider.

“Holy shit Hotch did you just take a shot??” Derek shouted from behind you two, a little tipsy already based on his volume, “I didn’t even think you’d come!”. Aaron shrugged as he slowly sipped his beer trying to hold back another laugh.

“Guys you’re making me feel like I’m not fun,” he said, which all the BAU team side-eyed each other at. 

“Damn they just burned you,” you laughed, watching his team all try to justify their reactions. Aaron scoffed with a smile finally drawing across his face.

“Guess I need to go out more,” he said, only loud enough for you to hear.

“I could’ve told you that,” you said as you leaned closer to him, which he once again did not move away from.

The minutes turned into an hour which turned into hours. After a failed game of pool against JJ you were more than a few celebratory shots and ciders in, but you were still aware of your surroundings. You were right on the level of having far too much confidence for your own good…

Most of the local and BAU team had left by now, leaving a few stragglers at a booth with you and Aaron at a table in the corner, to not make the teams feel too stressed about saying the wrong thing. You washed your hands in the sink of the bathroom catching the time on your watch. 1:16 am. God dammit time really wasn’t stopping for you. You ran a hand through your hair to try and mentally psych yourself up. You were realistically never going to see Aaron again after tonight. The team leaves at 10:00 am tomorrow, well today now technically, and there’d never be a reason he’s out here again.

Shit

You marched back out of the bathroom and ordered one last shot for good measure, which Aaron watched you take from the table with a look of being impressed, and slightly worried, but he was starting to feel the alcohol himself. You sauntered back over to the table with you and Aaron, and stood in front of him in his chair with your arms crossed. 

“What is it?” he asked, looking up at you, “what’s got you upset?”. 

“You leave tomorrow,” you said, not being able to stop it from coming out of your mouth. His eyebrows furrowed and his mouth thinned.

“I know,”. 

“I don’t want you to leave Aaron,” you blurted out before sighing. You looked over at the booth where everyone was still deeply wrapped up in their own conversation. The table was far enough in the corner amongst all the regulars trickling back in they’d never notice. You took a step between Aaron’s legs and his hands as if second nature moved to hold your thighs, keeping you in place. You slid a hand of your own to his cheek as you pursed your mouth into a frustrated corner. “It’s just- what the fuck are the odds even, I just-” you tried to rationalize out loud as your thumb brushed his cheek. He wasn’t that young boy anymore you met in university, but you couldn’t help but always see him just like that. A snapshot of a simpler time for both of you. Aaron moved a hand from steadying your thigh to being placed over your hand.

“I know,”. 

“You don’t think it means anything?”.

Aaron tighten his hand over yours, linking his fingers through yours and bringing it to his lips, gently kissing your hand.

“I don’t know,”. 

“My house is 2 blocks away,” you said. Your voice sounded grave, despite the alcohol still in your system. The reality of your situation slowly falling upon both of you. Aaron silently stood up and left his hand interlocked with yours, silently giving you the okay to take you both back there. JJ only had to kick Derek under the table once to keep him from shouting out at the both of you as you stepped by.

In the parking lot you gestured to Aaron’s car and opened your mouth, but before you could speak-

“I packed all my stuff. I’ll just get it in the morning,” he said. You silently nodded as your grip on his hand tightened. He tightened his own hold in return. 

The walk to yours was silent. What was there to say? What could’ve made this any better? It was a comfortable silence despite it all.

“Are you excited to see Jack?” you finally said breaking the silence, not being able to handle it anymore. You had been pretty surprised when Aaron told you he had a son back home, making you feel all the more selfish for wanting him to stay here.

“Of course. He usually has a lot of fun with his aunt though,” Aaron said with a small smile, thinking of his son.

“Maybe I’ll meet him someday,” you mused. 

“I’m sure he’d love you,” Aaron nodded into the night, brushing his thumb over the corner of your hand. You couldn’t help but softly smile at this.

This could be every night. Simple, quiet, nice. He admitted himself he was less stressed out here. He could bring Jack out here. There were some nice schools in the district. You and Aaron would be on the same team, both getting off before nightfall and being able to go home to make dinner at a decent time before putting Jack to bed. 

You paused in front of your house, waking yourself up from the fantasy.

“Do you think I’m stupid? Are you just doing this out of pity?” you asked as you turned to look at Aaron, your insecurities starting to spill out as you realized how ridiculous a fantasy you’d crafted in your head. Before you knew what was happening Aaron had grabbed your face and pressed his lips onto yours. He was aggressive, but in a good way. You couldn’t help but lean forward into him as you wrapped your arms around him. You broke away for air as your laid your head on his chest, hearing his heart thumping as he gently traced an arm around your back, with the other hand resting on the back of your head.

“No,” he finally said, which caused you to laugh as you stood up, moving off of him, as you fiddled with your keys to get inside. You finally swung open the door and kicked some spare shoes into a haphazard pile as you stepped inside. 

“Welcome welcome,” you mumbled as you flicked on a few lights, “it’s not much, but it’s home,”. Aaron stood in the entrance as he took in the certainly cozy home. “Do you want tea, water, or anything?” you asked, trying to remember in your waning alcohol haze what home owners offered people. Aaron smiled and shook his head as he kicked off his own shoes. You sighed the breath you didn’t know you were holding out of your nose as you tried to figure out the next move. 

“You’re overthinking Y/N,” Aaron said, recognizing the contortions your face went through when this was happening. He stepped forward and held your face in his hands again, tilting your head up so he could look at you. 

“Perhaps,” you said before yawning, “fuck I’m sorry. I’m not usually up this late,”. 

“I’m not either- believe it or not,” Aaron said with a soft smile, “do you want to just go to bed?”. You nodded, and Aaron dropped his hands, letting you lead the way to your room. Luckily you’d just cleaned it so all the clothes were at least in a drawer. Entering the bedroom you turned, once again having a moment of how surreal it was to be in a bedroom, your bedroom, with Aaron. 

“I don’t- did you want to- like - um-” you stammered as you resorted to gesturing to the bed awkwardly, “fuck?” you gave up and spouted out.

“Do you want to?” Aaron asked as he stepped closer to you. Like a magnet you drew close to him and wrapped your arms around him.

“I don’t think I do…I just want to be with you tonight,” you said quietly, which might as well have echoed throughout the silent house. Aaron ran a hand down your hair and gently pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“I feel the exact same” he hummed.

“Alright alright,” you huffed as you stood back, “but get comfortable at least. I’m going to change you can uh, look if you want I guess,” you said, which got a laugh out of Aaron as he did watch you rummage through your drawers for a shirt to sleep in. He took off his own shirt and pants and left them folded on the nightstand as he slid into your bed. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t blushing. You threw your clothes off as you put on an oversized band shirt, feeling Aaron’s eyes watching you from bed the whole time. 

“I didn’t know you had tattoos,” he said as you moved to the side of the bed. He was referencing the large star constellations you had on each shoulder. 

“Yeah, I got them a few years ago…” you said as you slowly moved in next to him, instantly feeling and appreciating his heat. You hit the light beside you, engulfing the room in total darkness. You felt Aaron’s arm weave under you, and after a little adjusting you were both on your sides facing each other.

“So this is it,” you murmured. It wasn’t some sort of rhetorical question anymore. You knew this was it.

“I have loved every moment getting to be out here with you Y/N, and I’m truly so grateful I got you in my life again, even if it was only a few weeks,” Aaron said slowly tightening his grip on your waist, bringing you closer. You placed a hand on his chest and aimlessly traced along it.

“I have too Aaron,” you sighed, “maybe in another life this wasn’t just some stupid Shakespearan drama,”. He chuckled and you felt his chest move as he did so.

“I really wish I was in that other life,” he softly admitted.

“I do too,” you said. There were a few seconds of silence before you spoke up again, “If you wake me up when you leave- I’ll never let you escape this room I’m afraid,”. He gently kissed your forehead,

“I know,”. 

There were a few more moments of silence as you two readjusted, this time with him holding you close behind you as you were spooned up against him. You shut your eyes and were slowly drifting into sleep before Aaron said the last things he would say to you.

“I love you,”. You shifted and precariously kissed his cheek.

“I love you too,” you whispered back, before falling into sleep. 

It was another cold morning in your room. You rubbed your eyes as a headache began in your head. You spotted a glass of water with 2 Advil on your nightstand, and that was all Aaron left. You sighed, as you swallowed the pills and water, before retreating back under the covers.

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

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1. Hi ! I sincerely thank you for this blog and love it 💖. For the next itmf can you please recommend a) some modern world fics where either wwx / lwj come out to their families and are met by homophobia ( outright or passive ) and the other comforts them ? Bonus points if they confront the homophobic family members and make them see sense .

b) Hi! For the next itmf can I get a rec where wwx gets some closure regarding Jiang yanli's death ? Like it's her ghost or some dreams or some gods interfering? As i see her death was still an open wound post canon even so it will be really nice . It can even be jyl resurrected or something along those lines but it should be like after wwx resurrection .Thank you ! @beingdesiandqueer

1A)

a new kind of silence by deliciousblizzardshark (E, 11k, WangXian, Modern AU, Autistic LWJ, Communication Disorder, Trans LWJ, Protective WWX, Pregnant LWJ, Panic Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Getting Together, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Soft WangXian, POV WWX) That's also one where WY opens the door and lz is there in the rain because lq reacted badly to him coming out and they later have to go get his stuff but I can't find it or the title I'll update if I find it

Caught Up In All This Bitterness by thunderwear (G, 2k, WangXian, Modern AU, Coming Out, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, LQR’s A+ Parenting)

Mad about the Boy by TriviasFolly (M, 62k, WangXian, 1950s America, Greaser WWX, Historical Smoking, Historical Viewpoints, Angst, Internal Struggle, Pre-Relationship, Historical Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, sexual awakenings, Sexual exploration, small town gays, Self discovery journey, Self love journey, gay acadamia, Song fic, teenage dramatics, smoll angst)

The Fifth Type of Non-Contact Force by Caixx (Not Rated, 83k, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Fluff and Humor, Actually Somewhat Canon, Mutual Pining, Horny Teenagers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Non-Graphic Smut)

1B)

is fan comic sufficient? Its not exactly a closure but more WWX trying to deal with his past

Discontented series by LaivineNinuiel (T, 85k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, JC & WWX & JYL, Night Hunts, Demonic Cultivation, Changing POVs, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Pining, Bloodbath of Nightless City, Canon-Typical Violence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Case Fic, yunmeng siblings reconciliation, Getting Together, Love Confessions, First Kiss)

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2. Hi🌸 Do you know any fics where the cultivation world find out about wei ying beimg captured and in the burial mounds and his no golden core. They realise they musjudged him?

I'm Sorry & Thank You by Iamnotawriter (T, 12k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Golden Core, Canon-Typical Violence, lqr's epipheny, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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3. Olá, tudo bem ? Você tem uma sugestão de Fic numa dinâmica beta e ômega? (Eng translation using translate.com: Hello, how are you? Do you have a suggestion of Fic in a beta and omega dynamic?) @silvanagomes87

sacrifice by quillifer (E, 9k, WangXian, light pain kink, Heat/rut, A/B/O Dynamics, A/B/O, light mythology insp, canon setting au, Slight Dirty Talk, very minor pregnancy kink, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, Omega LWJ, Beta WWX)

A Sword With No Hilt by Deastar (E, 17k, wangxian, rape/non-con, canon divergence, ABO, beta/omega, omega LWJ, beta WWX, Qíshān Wēn Indoctrination, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, I wouldn't say we're quite in dead dove territory but this is a heavy one so proceed with caution, Guilt, Shame, Psychological Trauma, Non-Consensual Humiliation, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, this universe's version of rape culture turned up to 11) this one contains a lot of sexual trauma but it is VERY good and shows how they try to heal together in the aftermath

The Dare by Deastar (E, 16k, wangxian, ABO, beta/omega, omega WWX, beta LWJ, canon divergence, two self-sacrificing idiots go on a journey of self-discovery through the medium of marathon sex, unapologetically a fix-it, Post-Sunshot) This one is also a LITTLE angsty but mostly very sweet

~*~

4. For the next intmf post your favourite 10-20k getting together fics? Modern or canon era ! (Preferably top!lz)

And Yet Here You Are by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Domestic Fluff, Cloud Recesses, settling down, Separation Anxiety, Teacher WWX, very light angst, Chief Cultivator LWJ)

The Fault in Our Stars by Vamillepudding (T, 17k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, Romantic Comedy, Comedy of Errors, Misunderstandings, the title makes it sound like a cancer story, it's not a cancer story)

I'll meet you coming backwards by ilip13 (E, 15k, WangXian, Modern AU, Time Travel, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Mostly soft fluff though, First Meetings, Mildly Dubious Consent, Blow Jobs, the mortifying ordeal of waking up and discovering you have a husband)

heart like a haunted house by Sanguis (E, 15k, WangXian, Modern AU, casefic, Witches, Haunted House, Magical Realism, Mild Gore, Pining, Getting Together, Explicit Sex)

simple love | 簡單愛 by auberjing (E, 19k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hurt/Comfort, Slice of Life, Getting Together, Falling In Love, Strangers to Lovers, Caretaking, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Feels, Grief/Mourning, Smut, Eventual Smut, Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Nude Photos, Nude Modeling)

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5. Thank you so much for your hard work! I have a request for an ITMF but I don't even know if it exists! I'm hoping for some sort of time loop/groundhog day fix-it type WangXian fic. Any ideas? @greywake

Wearing Down Every Bone by CSHfic, VSfic (E, 30k, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Time Loop, Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Case Fic, Curses, Pining, Getting Together, Time Travel, Night Hunts, Hurt wwx, Mystery, Angst with a Happy Ending, Use Your Words, Mutual Pining, Depression and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, gratuitous use of empathy)

Respair by donutsweeper (T, 9k, WangXian, Time Loop, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Night Hunts, Resentful Energy, Post-Canon)

the cycle of regret by KouriArashi (T, 14k, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Wearing Down Every Bone by CSHfic, VSfic (E, 30k, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Time Loop, Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Case Fic, Curses, Pining, Getting Together, Time Travel, Night Hunts, Hurt wwx, Mystery, Angst with a Happy Ending, Use Your Words, Mutual Pining, Depression and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, gratuitous use of empathy) haven't read this one yet but have heard good things!

~*~

6. Hi! ITMF supportive/protective Madame Yu? She doesn't have to be outrageously kind and sweet and ooc, but I would love to see her take on a bit of a helpful motherly role to WWX, JC, and JY, and I would LOVE to see her teach them to fight or protect them.

some things go forward by everythingispoetry (T, 73k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hospitals, Teenage Drama, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending) she isn't the focus and just a background character in this one but i loved the scenes she had with wwx

❤️ the thing with feathers by RoseThorne  (G, 43k, wangxian, Transmigration, Time Travel Fix-It, Illnesses, Family, Scars, Memory Loss, Angst, Fear, Recovery, Sharing a Bed, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Parent YZY, Referenced Sexual Slavery, Blood and Gore, Sexual Tension, Arranged Marriage, Grief, Adoption, POV Third Person, POV Alternating, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Good Parent LQR, Clairvoyance, Butterfly Effect)

A Mother's Love by FirefliesNLightningBugs (M, 168k, WIP, WangXian, ChengQing, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Mostly combo of the Untamed and MoDaoZuShi timelines, Unreliable Narrator, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Miscommunication, Family Feels, PTSD, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Political Intrigue, Mystery, POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Genderbent WWX, Intersex WWX, not a/b/o, POV Original Character, Expanded Universe, Unplanned Pregnancy, Golden Core Reveal, WWX Has No Golden Core, YLLZ WWX, Getting Together, MXY Lives) kinda does this, tho madam yu is definitely influenced by her own motivations, rather than just kindness of her heart

Therefore, You Should Get To Know Him First by FlorQuinnUwU (G, 41k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Out of Character, For reasons, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Family Feels, Family Bonding, Sunshot Campaign, Good Sibling JC, Good Sibling WWX, Good Parents JFM and YZY, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels)

Zephyrs Blowing Below the Violet by Comfect (T, 64k, FengYuan, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Bad to Good Parenting, cursing, Anger Management, No Golden Core Transfer, Bad Parent YZY, Good Parent YZY, POV YZY, YZY Learning and Adapting, Not Everything Ends Up Sad, Happy Ending, YZY & JFM Live)

Sun Stained Lotus by MidnightLightHowlite (T, 70k, wangxian, YZY&WWX, good parent YZY, angst w/ happy ending, fluff, miscommunication)

🧡 Heaven Has No Rage by flipfloppandas (M, 51k, WWX & YZY, JFM/YZY,  implied wangxian, WWX/WC, WWX/others, rape/non-con, modern, hurt/comfort, protective YZY, good parent YZY, hospitals, medical procedures, vomiting, trauma)

The Spider and Hound by Alexirose (T, 29k, YZY/WRH, wangxian, JC/LXC, JYL/NMJ, canon divergence, slow burn, Likeable YZY, Motherly instincts and love, JFM is confusing, YZY badass mother, YZY scoldings, Good Parent YZY, Angst, Cultivation World DRAMA, JGS Bashing, Changed WC, WLJ Bashing, Shy WX, WRH Redemption-ish, Hot WRH, Blood and more blood, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Dry Humor, YZY & WZL friendship, intimacy, YZY pov, Hurt/Eventual Comfort, Trauma, Protective YZY, JFM & YZY argue, Psychological Trauma, Psychological Drama, Hallucinations, POV WRH, New Cultivation/Magic, WIP)

~*~

7. Hello! Thank you for finding all these different fics it makes my reading experience much better! I've been wanting to find found family-esque fics of wangxian (or just lwj) raising or taking care of or being parental figures to Sizhui AND Jingyi! Thank you once again for this page and all that you do <3 @elymansss

Seen and not heard by eatmyass (E, 51k, WangXian, Case Fic, No Sunshot Campaign, AU in canon setting, Kid Fic, dadxian, Strangers to Lovers, Found Family, POV LWJ, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Time, Falling in love in metaphors)

and having a marvelous time by varnes (E, 108k, WangXian, Sound of Music AU, (i know!!! i know. stay with me on this.), Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Family Feels, spies to lovers???, Protective Siblings, Angst with a Happy Ending)

oh, these are real things by typefortydeductions (E, 15k, WangXian, Modern AU, The Porn Is the Plot, Kink Negotiation, Under-negotiated Kink, Safewording, Light BDSM, Dom/sub, Fisting, Sex Crying, lil bit of gender stuff, Panic Attacks, Top Drop)

~*~

8. hello! for the next itmf, do you know of any fics where Wei Wuxian's habit of fainting (presumably into LZ) comes up? id love it if it was a plot point, but ill take any fics where he does faint

The most dangerous thing is to love by KatAnni (E, 113k, wangxian, JYL & WWX & JC, WWX & WQ, JYL/JZX, JC/WQ, golden core reveal, fix it, everyone lives au, angst w/ happy ending, hurt WWX, found family, implied/referenced torture, implied/referenced cannibalism, PTSD, golden core transfer Fix-It, major character injury, WWX has a new golden core, asexual JC, whump, marriage proposal, wedding night) addresses in an AU sort of way

to the river of rivers by haysel (T, 27k, wangxian, post-canon, character study, pining, dissociation, getting together, misunderstanding, trauma, angst w happy ending, hurt/comfort)

梅花开放 | the plum blossoms bloom by doubletan (E, 6k, WangXian, Sickfic, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Established Relationship, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Post-Canon, Anal Sex, Kissing, Crying, a lot of crying)

Not What We May Be by brooklinegirl (E, 29k, wangxian, post-canon, pining, bed sharing, case fic, hurt/Comfort)

Talismans by brooklinegirl (E, 10k, wangxian)

~*~

9. hii!! for the next itmf, im really struggling to find modern or canon fics where wx have some kind of secret, like that they hide from their families and friends?? honestly, the problem is that i dont really know how to explain if, but secret relationships, some secret job, secret identity. it would be nice if both of them were into the secret. im sorry if no one can understand this request, though im fine with whatever you find!! thank you <33

Hiraeth by cherrywhiskey (E, 155k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fluff & Angst, Friends With Benefits, Pining while Fucking, Falling In Love, Separation, Getting Back Together, Angst with a Happy Ending, Second chances, food as a metaphor for love, canon-typical Jiang family dynamics, fighting, Bottom LWJ, Switching, Versatile WangXian)

Always Be Closing by betts (E, 32k, WangXian, Modern AU, America, Office, Kid Fic, Drunken Kissing, Semi-Public Sex, Sexting, Divorce, Falling In Love, Bank Robbery, Secret Relationship, Co-workers)

In Which They Are (Not So) Secretly Married by panda_desu (T, 99k, wangxian, canon divergence, fem WWX, secret relationship, secret marriage, implied sexual content, implied dub con, fluff, everyone lives au, no sunshot, intimacy, childbirth) if you dont mind reading fem!WWX i think this fit the criteria?

Post-war baby! by like_a_bird_that_flew (E, 24k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Mpreg, Secret Relationship, Relationship Reveal, ooc probably, Domestic Fluff, Good Uncle LQR, A-Yuan is Wangxian's son, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, brief mention of the Lan parent's dubious marriage, Weddings, Wedding Night, Eventual Smut, Established Relationship, petnames, Non-Graphic Depiction of Childbirth, Happy Ending, Pregnant WWX, Unplanned Pregnancy)

~*~

10. ITMF WWX's golden core reveal in a big shocking scandalous way! The more dramatic the better!

~*~

11. For the next ITMF, a) where are the Wen Ruohan redemption fics? Sami mentioned it in some endnotes and now I'm curious!

b) I'm rereading Sami's masterwork series, but I'm also craving more Lan Zhan is not a Lan fics (ever or anymore). Any recs? @mreisse

11A)

Communal Child-Rearing and Other Diplomatic Necessities by Elpie (Horribibble)

To the Heavens and the Earth by IsilmeLasgalen (E, 77k, WangXian, NingSong, XuanLi, MingXu, ChengYu, WWX is a Wēn, Marriage of Convenience, Accidental Marriage, Implied Mpreg, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, CSSR and WCZ Live, Cultivation Sect Politics, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, Good Person WRH, Immortal WangXian, POV LXC, Mpreg, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Emperor WWX, Emperor LWJ, Past WWX/Other(s), Everybody Lives, Fluff, Angst, Smut, LWJ is LJY's Parent)

there r a few wrh fics in the vein of 'wrh finds out wwx is actually his long lost son/grandson and wants wwx to join the wen/like wrh both for personal and practical reasons' and so puts his plans of domination indefinitely on hold. So u might find a few under 'wwx is a wen' type tags.

nirejseki on ao3 (@robininthelabyrinth) has some

11B)

no step had trodden black by Stratisphyre (T, 32k, wangxian, LQR & WWX, JYL/JZX, canon divergence, madam lan lives, past rape, golden core reveal, hurt/Comfort, referenced to attempted suicide & suicidal thoughts, canon-typical violence)

The Best I Can by Zephyr (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 26k, LJY & WWX, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Light Angst, Drama, Recovery, Coming of Age, Secret Identity Fail, Friendship, Rogue Cultivator LWJ, Road Trips, Sort Of, POV Multiple, Happy Ending) In this fic LWJ became a rogue cultivator not long after WWX death but the focus in this fic is not on LWJ but on LJY and WWX. There are LWJ POV too

lost no more series by hamlets_ghost (G, 43k, WangXian, LXC/NMJ, Angst, mention of imprisonment, hurt little comfort, child LXC, child LWJ, this does not have a happy ending im sorry, LQR tries his best, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, alcohol mention, Rogue Cultivator LWJ, LXC POV, LWJ POV, Pre-Relationship, WWX POV, pre- cloud recess arc, Pre-Canon, some violence, NMJ POV, Light Angst, mention of intention of punishing yourself (see chapter notes), madam lan left with lwj as a child AU, LXC deserves a hug not lan elder friendly, this is not how to raise a child, So much angst, Isolation, Loneliness, Hurt/very little comfort, LXC centric, wangxian is very cute and domestic, mention of punishment Gusu Lan style, Burning of the Cloud Recesses)

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12. I know this is more ITMF but any fic where LXC and LWJ relationship (as siblings) is explored like it could be strained or complicated specially after JGY or WY or just in general? Or it could be LXC bashing but I really wanna see the sibling dynamics 👉👈 --This one was moved from the last FF post to this one ~Mod L

Turn Left by kianspo (M, 193k, WIP, WangXian, NieLan, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, Friends to Lovers, eventually, references to child sexual abuse, not main characters, Neurodivergent LWJ, Slow Build, Lán Family Feels, specifically, Twin Jades of Lán Feels, lwj-centric, Twin Jades of Lán Dynamics, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies)

Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics) I think the "twelve moons and a fortnight" series on ao3 may have some of this, it definitely has some EPIC post canon lxc processing/reacting to canon events scenes (link in #16)

~*~

13. Hie! I'm in the mood for a fanfic where wangxian adopts a baby/toddler (but no age restrictions really) [a-yuan exists and has the age he has now]. Please no calling Wei Wuxian a mom and it'd be nice if it had a more serious tone. @rkivees​

Little One by arcadenemesis (E, 8k, wangxian, post-canon, accidental baby acquisition, rated E for Everyday, case fic) probably not exactly what they had in mind, but “Little One” by arcadenemesis fits the bill and is really good. (WWX is called mom in a scene)

~*~

14. Hi!!! ITMF for time travel fics but it's the juniors who go back to the past! :D I've read "The Stuff of Legend" by pupeez4eva and I really liked it!

❤️ Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, wangxian, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Yunmeng sibling bonding, good dad wwx, good dad lwj, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, Junior Quartet Dynamics)

How Much Love Has the Inch Long Grass by Vainwyrm (M, 12k, WIP, WangXian, ZhuiLingYi, XuanLi, Time Travel Fix-It, Permanent Injury, Disability, Canon Disabled Character, Physical Disability, Non-canon disabled character, Self-Worth Issues)

~*~

15. Hello! I’ve been craving some wholesome junior quartet fics. More specifically I’d like it to be about the kids in the Gusu-lectures. If not any I’m fine with some post-canon junior shenanigans. Thank you in advance. @itstheinfamoushogwartsjaguar​

Grim Grinning Ghosts by Theladyofravenclaw (G, 3k, Junior Quartet, Ghost City, mxtx crossover, WWX's Birthday, the juniors shenanigans, Gambling, slight mention of gore once they enter the city, but nothing very graphic)

Lan Sizhui's Got a Crush! By Theladyofravenclaw (T, 46k, Junior Quartet, LSZ/OFC, Humor, Fluff and Crack, Case Fic, Gūsū Lán Juniors Dynamics, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Body Horror, Mild Gore, Post-Canon)

~*~

16. Hey for the next itmf can i get any fics where yunmeng brothers reconcile but Jiang cheng is the one who apologises? Like genuine remorse over his actions . Or a fic where lan qiren / lan xichen apologise. I don't know something along those lines because i have been feeling how I just the first siege was and i need the cultivation clans to apologise see the product of their actions and so on ...

Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics) "twelve moons and a fortnight" series is EXCELLENT. There's an EPIC scene with lxc reacting to everything post canon in the main fic. There's also a marvelous side story in the series set during wwx's death where jc gets invited to Lan sizhui's courtesy name ceremony (which is how everyone learns this Lan heir even exists). And jc realizes he's his brother's kid and gives him "the bow of a dead beloved shixiong" - only sect bro older than jc was wwx, but no one living remembers. Greatwriting

~*~

17. Hi there. So I'm currently in the mood of reading wangxian AU or canon divergence fics. If possible the fics shouldn't be a short story, and I really, really just want WangXian, other characters may appear or mentioned, but I'm not in the mood of reading other chara's self importance appearance, so yeah just wangxian.

E.g a canon divergence when LWJ took WWX to an exile after the bloodbath in Nightless City, or a scenario where they were in the run, or the post 13 years WangXian just run away and don't give a shit about the revenge drama NHS and JGY are having about, anyway, it must be 90% of the fic, should be about wangxian.

To be more specific, perhaps some canon divergence where wangxian just don't give a shit about the cultivation world? Either before the First siege happen, or post 13 years, but preferably before wwx dying because I think it's a pity for a fine man like YLLaozu to die, lol. Just a pair of husband running away, live in seclusion, feeling discovery, etc.

Or an AU of soulmate or abo, or martial arts au, royal drama au, where it's, again, only about wangxian.

I would love it if you could kindly give me some recc🙂 Thank you, and G'day~! @catmaid-san

Disclaimer for the next few recs, it's been a while since I've read these but I recall them being pretty focused on wangxian ~Mod L

the kite string and the anchor rope by fleurdeliser (M, 38k, wangxian, canon divergence, after the yiling date, sick child)

wide enough and wild by impossibletruths (E, 64k, wangxian, canon divergence, Getting Together, Canonical Accidental Baby Acquisition, Families of Choice, References to Depression, Canon-Typical Violence, Happy Ending, Noping Out Of Society With Your Boyfriend And Your 50 Wen Refugees: The Novel, Overzealous Use Of Imagery, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Well Except Wen Ning But He Was Already Dead So, Fix-It of Sorts, Podfic Available, Spanish Translation Available)

Diverge by WithBroomBefore (T, 13k, wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it of sorts, angst w happy ending, first kiss, implied sexual content, golden core reveal, LWJ pov, established relationship, sick fic, LWJ stays in the burial mounds, everyone lives au)

You Are My Euphoria by orphan_account (M, 17k, wangxian, canon divergence, fluff, making out, 5+1, pining)

love & longing, rabbit edition. by jaws_3 (G, 18k, wangxian, canon divergence, animal transformation, pining, fluff, first kiss, getting together, rabbit LWJ)

body and soul by TooSel (E, 41k, wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it, marriage proposal, everyone lives au, politics, yiling wei sect, adoption, smut, Friends to lovers, angst w happy ending)

I would wait for a thousand years by bleuett (T, 10k, wangxian, canon divergence, post-canon, memory loss, hurt/comfort, reunions, curses, intimacy, yearning, happy ending, Chinese mythology & folklore, immortality, fluff)

blossoms at the roadside by bleuett (T, 13k, wangxian, different first meetings, gardens & gardening, getting together, tenderness, happy ending)

Three changes. by orange_crushed (M, 18k, wangxian, Fluff, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Cloud Recesses study arc, Friends to Lovers, Romantic Comedy, Kissing, Fade to Black, Mild Sexual Content, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot, falling In Love, Non-Graphic Violence, Everyone Lives au, Sparring, Harm to Animals, Don't Worry The Animal is Fine Wangji Makes Sure of That, Developing Friendships, Wangji Makes Friends At Summer School, None Of This Makes Sense Until You Remember They Are All Teenage Boys, teenagers in love, They're A Mess Your Honor (And I Love Every One Of Them), Hurt/Comfort, Mild Blood, First Time)

Under every sky, in every way by naqaashi (M, 15k, wangxian, Curses, Curse Breaking, Merji, Love Confessions, Pining, Genius WWX, Little Mermaid Elements, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst w Happy Ending, Feelings Realization, Lan Wangji is a Mermaid, Idiots in Love, Getting to Know Each Other, Oblivious WWX, Falling In Love, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Making Out, Fairy Tale Elements, Public Display of Affection, shameless wangxian, Married wangxian, Accidental Voyeurism, Fix-It, Mythical Beings & Creatures)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what  you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack,  whatever - it’s all good!***

[ephemerasnape]

Hello! We don't know each other at all but you appeared in my feed, and I am sorry but I can't let you say people "conflate" a child and a minor.

Please take into consideration I didn't turn on the anonymous setting, because I won't hide my position just like you won't hide yours (And it's always better to know who you're actually talking to). Also english isn't my first language so I hope you will understand what I'm saying.

A minor is a child for a reason. The law created the notion of minor because even if you're a teen, like 16-17 yo, you can get influenced. You can get manipulated. And you can not realise it. At 17yo you don't have the ability to properly defend yourself against adults.

What I mean is : Adults are socially superior. We're all taught as kids to respect them. Going against them is difficult for some teens. And they know that, which is why preserving kids' innocence and teaching them about the possible adults taking advantage of their youth is important. With an adult, in an intimate relationship, their consent will be biased.

Cause no adult should be attracted to a 15 yo. No adult should have a relationship with a minor, who's a child thank you very much, because their relationship will never be equal.

Picturing a 15yo with a 30yo man is sick. That's what it is. She didn't even finish to grow up, she doesn't even have a mind of her own. Did I also specify that the human brain ends developing at 25yo ?

That you have traumas you need to deal with, fine. This could be your way to interiorise what happened to you, to feel less lonely about it and I understand it. Or maybe you're still young, picturing yourself with Rookwood because you like his face and don't realise how wrong this is. You could still write age gap with another adult, some BDSM child play for example.

but a real 15yo???? with a 30yo man???? This is clearly hidden patriarchy, teaching you that the younger women are the more attractive they get, that youth is purity and men should own it and corrupt it. It's completely and utterly toxic.

Do you realise this really happened to people and that they struggle with it now that they are adults ? There is no romance in it. Only sickness.

This is the internet. I guess no one will stop you from ever writing what you write but you have to hear it isn't right.

Hello @mianeryh!

First I'd like to thank you for your very decent message, and for coming to me directly instead of hiding behind anonymous sniping.

A minor is a person under the age of 18. Child has a different connotation to most people.

As you can see there are multiple definitions of "child." In this context I am using the first one.

I'm not saying an adolescent is an adult - far from it! I'm just saying they are not a child in the way that people are using the term.

Sixteen is a common age to legally give sexual consent, drive a car, and in some places they even want to give sixteen-year-olds the vote.

Obviously, a sixteen year old is not a child. But that doesn't mean they are an adult either. They're in a weird in-between state called an adolescent or a teenager.

Then again, I don't think an eighteen year old is really an adult. Hell, I still don't feel like an adult!

Regardless, in no way do I condone sexual activity or a relationships between an actual adult and an actual minor with more than a couple years between them. I am not young, but I myself was involved with a man who was 28 when I was 14, I met him in person when I was 16 and he was 30, and we had sex. I didn't feel like a victim at the time, but in retrospect I know I was.

I assume overall you are talking about my Victor Rookwood x MC fics and my Rookwood x Anne Sallow fic, but it seems you've made a lot of presumptions about them without reading them. In neither scenario have I presented the interactions as morally correct, wholesome, or even desirable. In the first scenario, the reader is MC, so you can be whatever age you want. No, I don't "age up" anything. If people want to age themselves up when imagining the scenario that's fine, but since it's fiction I don't see a problem. Nothing is presented in a positive light here.

If you'd read Devoutly, you'd know that romanticizing the relationship between Rookwood and Anne is the last thing I'm doing. I am presenting it as the nuanced, fucked up thing that it is. There is nothing glamourized there. Really. Please read it, because it's a very important fic to me.

There are two major points to be made here, and the fact that rarely are people actually glamourizing such relationships in their works is one of them. But even if you find a "Happily Ever After" scenario that involves rape or statutory rape or whatever, the important point is it's fiction.

What people write in a fictional context should not be presumed to represent what they want to happen, or what they support happening in real life. In the Harry Potter fandom, which I come from, fiction featuring underage characters involved with significantly older adults is common and rarely met with this kind of reaction. I am not sure when people became so moralistic about fiction.

Fiction is a place to explore our deepest, darkest fears and fantasies, and also to make things happen solely to be shocking or provocative (guilty as charged). We don't need an excuse more than "because I wanted to."

In the real world, I am (of course) very much against rape. I'm very much against sexually-exploitative relationships involving real people. I am even against eighteen-year-olds participating in pornography, the pornography industry in general. I could go on. In fact, I have spent much of my life being way too upset about these things, which is probably why I write a lot of fucked up stuff.

But even if you write fucked up stuff just because you enjoy doing so, it's not wrong. It doesn't make you a bad person. It's fiction.

The onus is on you, as a sensitive person, to avoid media that upsets you - it is not mine to avoid creating such media or to hide it from you, and I will not accept that responsibility.

As far as the patriarchy assertion goes - like it or not, I do believe that 95%+ of adult men would have sex with a sixteen year old girl if they wouldn't get in trouble for it. This is just my experience with men. Is it right? OF COURSE NOT! I hate that. Is it realistic though? Am I only allowed to write things that are aligned with my own values and the law as determined by any such government? There we disagree.

These are pixels on a screen - words on a page. No humans are involved. Even in its most gratuitous form, fiction is fiction. You can like it or dislike it - you do not have to embrace everything out there, but I do believe you should support my right to create it, and you should definitely not be assuming that someone's creative writing reflects their own values.

I hope this helps clear things up.

[tsukimefuku]

Right, wrong and the in-between (Epilogue)

Previous chapter

You and Higuruma were assigned to investigate the disappearance of women around Shinjuku. This led to a dicey situation regarding what place Jujutsu sorcerers occupy in this world and what is their role to play when non-sorcerers get involved.

This is part of my "Jujutsu Partners Canon Divergence AU". There is currently a sequence of short stories and random drabbles for a fic I'll eventually write (eventually). To see the ever-growing list of one-shots, please visit my masterlist :)  The "Right, wrong and the in-between" will be a 4 (maybe 3) part short-story set in this AU. I hope you enjoy! The tags below will be applicable to every chapter.

Tags: oc/f!reader, soft/implied Higuruma x reader, soft/implied Nanami x reader, slow burn, DARK HUMOR AHEAD, SO MUCH FLUFF AND HURT+COMFORT HERE, just characters being themselves driving the plot (and me) insane. Some philosophical debate will be in place.

WC: 1.9k

Ijichi took Higuruma to Jujutsu Tech, and you and Nanami decided to hit a bar before going back. You were both seated beside each other at the main counter. After using reverse cursed technique on your face, you stood there, pathetically, holding a bag of ice to your swollen cheek. Everyone that walked past the both of you was giving Nanami the stink eye as he downed his glass of whiskey.

"Nanami, are we in a domestic dispute situation, or are you my pimp?" You asked, looking at him with a wide grin on your face, just waiting for the show that joke would certainly elicit.

He almost choked with his own drink, and even if he usually had the same stoic expression to his face most of the time, something about it right now said flabbergasted. "There are times you're incredibly inappropriate. Your jests are quickly becoming worse than Gojo's". He scolded you, and you chuckled.

"My trauma, my coping mechanisms." You retorted, taking a big gulp of your beer. He sighed heavily.

"What happened while you were captive?" He asked, lowering his voice. He knew you were prone to shove things deep down and never letting them out, covering it all with sarcastic commentary about your own life.

"If you're asking me if that happened, no, it didn't. They just hit me in the face pretty fucking hard." You scoffed, looking at your reflection in the mirror that sat behind the bottles of liquor. "Pieces of shit."

"I see."

"Hey, Nanami." You spoke lightly. "I want to thank you."

He didn't turn his face to look at you, but you could see his eyes rolling your way now that he had his glasses off. "What for?"

"For saving me. I mean... Saving me from myself." You completed, downing your own beer. "If it weren't for you, I mean-" you choked up a little, "just, thank you."

" you must be aware of the fact that I won't be there to guide you most of the times you see yourself in a similar situation. Therefore, you cannot expect me to be your moral compass. You need to learn to do that by yourself, and for yourself." He added, matter-of-factly.

You grunted. "Ugh, I know!" You put the ice bag back on the counter. "It's just that... The job description was exorcising curses and fighting curse users. There was none of this ethically challenged shenanigans in the tiny disclaimers."

Nanami ordered another whiskey. "Exorcizing curses comprises most of the job description, but things tend to get dicey when we're dealing with curse users and victims." He sighed, now turning his face to look directly at you. "You were one of my dicey cases, and it definitely took a toll on me years ago."

Gazing back at him, you felt your heart break all over again. "I know."

You both locked eyes for a while, and stayed like that until your gaze involuntarily drifted to his lips. He seemed to notice and started to say your name, but you quickly looked down at the counter and grabbed the bag of ice, putting it over your flushed face as your heart began pounding in your ears.

“Nanami, come and have a drink with me and Higuruma. I really think you guys should get along.” You interjected, out of the blue, shoving the discomfort away.

He scoffed. “It’s an offer I’ll happily refuse.”

“Come on, it’s important!” You started pouting.

“Oh, how unfortunate then.” Nanami retorted.

“Nanami, please, I’m really trying to be serious here. The man saved my life.”

“And then proceeded to endanger it. Twice.” He said nonchalantly taking a sip of his whiskey.

“Well, this time it wasn’t entirely his fault. I’m the one who decided we should go in the club to follow the curse user. There was no way we could’ve known she had a cursed speech technique.”

Nanami sighed heavily. “If my thinking is correct, you’ll keep persisting until I go with you?”

“You thought correctly!” You replied with fake enthusiasm.

He grunted. “Okay, but you’ll be paying for tonight’s drinks.”

“Eh?! Seriously?!”

“Yes,” he bottomed down his whiskey, “terribly.”

***

You were wearing a backpack to make the beers you were sneaking in more discreet. Nanami walked directly behind, not believing he let himself be dragged into this tomfoolery by you. As both got to Higuruma's room door, you knocked excitedly. He promptly opened the door, smiling at you. The glow and smile on his face disappeared, however, as soon as he saw Nanami.

"It was her idea." Nanami said, instantly.

"Come on, guys. Truce, unity, peace, just for tonight. We all had a terrible day." You said, waltzing into the room, followed by a hesitant Nanami. Higuruma had to hold his impulse to close the door in order to only letting you in.

You sat on the bed, and Higuruma sat beside you. Nanami pulled the chair from the desk and settled down comfortably, crossing his legs. You pulled your backpack and opened it, revealing multiple cans of beer stuffed inside. After giving one to Nanami and another to Higuruma, you grabbed your own beer and opened it. "Here's to not getting fucked by curses, curse users or Jujutsu High!"

"Preach." Higuruma said, as he clicked his can to yours.

Nanami silently lifted his can and took a sip, making a disapproval grimace. "It's warm."

"You surely drank worse." You said.

He sighed and looked sideways. Nanami might not have been pouting physically, but spiritually, he surely was.

***

A few beers in and you all had flustered faces, feeling more at ease after that dreadful day.

"Hey, Higuruma. I have something funny to tell you." You told him.

"Brace yourselves, here we go." Nanami noted, putting his empty beer can away and grabbing another.

"What is it?" Higuruma questioned.

"Did you know Jujutsu High absolutely hates my family?" You said.

"Do they? Why?" He asked, genuinely interested.

"No fucking idea. Something about two people killing each other many centuries ago, and now it somehow became my problem. Can you believe it?!" You answered, chuckling.

"Well, isn't that the entire history of humanity?" He retorted. You laughed harder.

"Oh, they tried to pin some mishaps on me, then Gojo had to come and save my sorry ass!" You cackled.

"How about this: two months ago, I was ready to begin planning my retirement, and now I'm fighting demon looking creatures and have a death sentence hanging over my head?" Higuruma said, as he started laughing himself.

You both were silent for a few seconds, and then began to cackle hysterically. Nanami covered his face, but he wasn't sighing. He was trying to contain his own urge to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

"We shouldn't be laughing at this!" You said, in between cackles, nearly out of breath, drying the tears that were streaming down your face.

"No, we shouldn't." Higuruma had his face covered by his hand. There was a certain desperation to his own laughter.

"You are both completely insane." Nanami said, uncovering his face. He did not notice yet, but he was smiling. It was amusing seeing you and Higuruma sharing a single brain cell, after all.

As the laughter subsided, Higuruma looked at Nanami, with a loose mouth from alcohol.

"Why are you such a rule follower?" Higuruma asked, pointing at Nanami.

Nanami sighed and grabbed another can of beer. "Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of the way they run things here. But having some order with a proportional amount of sacrifice is better than to have nothing at all." He sipped on the beer, not feeling the off temperature anymore. "Many times, they fall into unfairness, but the system in place has helped save countless people."

Nanami then paused and pointed at the other man. "You, Higuruma, for that matter, is one of those people. You could’ve been arrested and tried for the judge’s and prosecutor’s murders, and even though I’m not an attorney, I believe you wouldn’t be sentenced lightly. Yet, you’re here, looking directly at the prospect of future freedom just some weeks later."

You and Higuruma were silent, for Nanami was absolutely correct.

"The rules aren’t perfect, but they’re what we have for the time being, until something better comes along." Nanami completed.

"Those same rules, however, turned my life into a living nightmare, Nanami." You noted.

"I know. I remember it all very clearly, and that was when I decided that whatever we had in place was simply not good enough if it lead to such injustice against people we should be protecting." He sipped on his beer again. "Your case was the reason I left years ago."

Higuruma was curious, but didn't ask about it.

"I remember." You replied, holding yourself to not go into that dark place of your mind. "I’m glad you came back, though. You’re a fine jujutsu sorcerer and a good, decent person. We need more people like you in the world of jujutsu."

The corners of Nanami's mouth perked up slightly, as he put his last empty beer can on top of the desk. He then got up and looked at you both. "I have to go, it's late, and I have not only drank way more than I'm accustomed to, I also need a decent night of sleep."

"Weakling!" You said, pouting, as he began exiting the room.

"You’re starting to sound like Gojo." Nanami retorted.

"Aw, thank you." You sarcastically replied.

Nanami sighed. "It was not a compliment. Good night, everyone." He concluded as he left, closing the door behind him.

"Good night." Higuruma said, waving Nanami away.

"Wait a second." You told Higuruma as you got out of the room right after. Nanami turned back to look at you, waiting for you to say something.

"He’s not a bad person," you said. Nanami sighed. "Do you hate him a little less, at least?"

He inhaled deeply and looked at you. "Give it time." Nanami answered.

"Fine." You smiled at him. "See you tomorrow?"

He properly smiled back, which was a rare occurrence. "See you tomorrow." Nanami finally said as he made his way out of the building.

You went back in the room and sat on the ground, trying to fish inside the backpack for any can of beer that could still be untouched. Higuruma eyed you up and down, and decided to scratch the itch that had tormented him ever since he knew you asked Gojo to have his death sentence suspended.

"Why did you give me the benefit of the doubt then? Why did you tell me to escape and decided to save my life?" Higuruma asked.

You sighed, disappointed to learn the three of you had drank all the beers, and started talking. "Because if I found myself in the same circumstances you were in when you killed those people, I can’t say I would’ve done any differently than what you did. I mean, hell, this was evident today." You shrugged. "I needed Nanami to hold me back, or else... Or else I might’ve become the next Higuruma they’d put a death sentence on the head."

"Nonsense!" Higuruma said, jokingly. "You’re much prettier and my nose is much bigger."

You laughed and gave a little bump on his shoulder with your fist.

"We, the rebellious, need rule abiding people in our lives to keep us from tripping over the edge, huh?" He pointed out.

You chuckled at the irony of it. "Yes, we definitely do. And I guess they need us to remind them that some rules need to be overturned, every now and then."

"What a delicate balance to achieve." Higuruma said.

"Yes. But it’s worth it." You replied.

"I hope so."

End notes: I was so OBSESSED writing this one short story I literally could not sleep until I finished it. Well, here we are, 8.3K (!!!) words later. I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it (it was a blast!).

Fuku-chan 🦉

[nexysworld]

I can't sleep, so sleepy thoughts in coming! So I was like thinking what if Bunny met Ada? Like say if she falls in love with Leon and one day he's away and Ada shows up at the door, (I still think he'd still love Ada a small bit) and Ada is telling her so many times that makes Bunny question her relationship with Leon and he gets back and hears everything

Aww man, you really had to hit me with this one didn't you Anon. lol Since you said Bunny reader, I'm assuming we're talking about Yandere!Leon from my Guardian Angel Fic (if not throw another ask my way and I'll do one for regular Leon.)

🖤 By this point, I'd like to assume Leon's plan had come full circle. His little Bunny loves him, trusts him, doesn't question him, etc. Things have been going good for a while (as good as they can when you're trapped with a delulu psycho lol) 🖤 When Ada shows up, I think at first Bunny would be untrusting, especially since this would be the first person besides Leon she's been around in a long time. 🖤 That being said, Ada would probably talk a lot about Leon, personal things she knows, etc. and it would be enough to convince her that Ada is the real deal. 🖤 After all the trauma she's gone through up until now, I think Bunny would be devastated, heartbroken. She'd finally given in to trusting Leon and their new life together -- and now she was thinking about all the things he did when he wasn't home. Was he really working? Was he meeting Ada? Were there other women too? It would make her feel so lonely now and foolish for having given up the fight to escape. 'Maybe he's really in love with her, but I'm just a pet to keep him busy.' 🖤 When Leon found out, his feelings would be complicated. I like to think that Ada was definitely one of the factors behind his now obsessive behavior - the fear of losing someone, wanting to protect and remain in control. 🖤 That being said, she's always been a part of his history he couldn't let go. He never went after her though because she's not an object to him, but someone who's close to equal ground. But he really can't let his Bunny go. 🖤 Ultimately, I think his need to keep his Bunny would outweigh the feelings he had for Ada, especially since he knows Ada would run off again, but Bunny needed him and was already there. 🖤 His heart would shatter seeing Bunny in tears, untrusting of him all over again because of Ada, and honestly, depending on his state of mind, he might finally decide to remove Ada from his life permanently. For someone like Leon, it's far easier to just ignore bad feelings or guilt instead of dealing with them. Out of sight, out of mind literally for anything that wasn't his obsession - not to mention Ada knew his little secret.

🖤 Regardless of how that situation ends - he'd crank the love-bombing up to max. He'd be reminding Bunny every day how much he loves her, how Ada lied to her out of jealousy. Might even give some actual explanations about his job and history. Gifts and physical affection galore. Lots of intimate sex too. Really anything he can think of to help make sure she understands. 🖤 Due to the unhealthy relationship dynamics, I don't know if Bunny would recover any time soon maybe not at all - especially since she still can't leave the property. Any time he went back to work or had to leave for supplies, she'd be very unhappy. 🖤There'd definitely be a shift in the relationship now that Bunny was extra insecure and jealous. This would manifest in mood swings between not wanting his affection at all to needing it, touching him at all times, begging him not to leave, etc. 🖤 Leon's punishments wouldn't have the same effect anymore either as likely Bunny would be apathetic to those kinds of things, especially if she felt there was no longer a point to trying to earn his affection. 🖤 If Leon couldn't love-bomb her enough to fix things, then he'd definitely resort back to gaslighting or finding a chemical at work to help Bunny forget or be more suggestible.