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thoughtfulfiction · 7 months ago

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Hot in Herre

Author’s note: Here we are, I’ve been bitten by the Joe bug. My first Burrow fic and my first time in a LONG time not writing Justin so here we go!

“Oh baby, there’s absolutely no way you’re getting out of this. A bet is a bet remember?”

If looks could kill, you’d be long gone by the death glare that you’re met with. “This isn’t fair. How in the world did you eat that entire plate without reaching for your drink once? Monster.” He thinks his nose may be running and his lips are on fire but you seem to be relaxed and carefree sitting across from him on the couch. You pat him on the leg as a sign of pity, which you know he hates. You’re just celebrating your win appropriately, silently rubbing it in his face. You know it’d be much worse if the roles were reversed so you don’t feel as bad.

He carefully moves his leg out of your reach, crossing his arms over his chest and continuing his mini temper tantrum, all because of one little challenge that he didn’t win.

You scoot closer to him, grabbing his hand, “now Joseph, don’t be a sore loser.”

“Have you ever met me?” He cracks a smile, no matter how badly he doesn’t want to. You making small circles on his hand with your thumb almost always makes him melt, like putty in your hands, just for a second until he remembers his devastating loss. “Be honest with me,” he narrows his eyes, “how did you do it?”

Leaning in without breaking eye contact you whisper, “I will never reveal my secrets. And I’ll be making a reservation for two on Friday night so I expect you to be ready.” With a swift kiss on the cheek, you leave him stuck in his seat.

The day started out as any normal bye week Wednesday, Joe got up early to get a workout in, his body fully recovered from the recent beatings he’d taken during games, and spent most of the afternoon mulling over ever life choice he’s ever made on the couch or in his office. You could practically hears the gears turning in his brain, pondering the different scenarios that needed to happen in order for the Bengals to scratch and claw their way into the playoffs.

Of course you wanted to be a positive and supportive partner, a shoulder to cry on when needed and someone to bounce ideas off of, but the fact of the matter was that this may be a long shot and the season looked more over by the minute. Not that you would ever say that out loud. So instead, you suggested a little game for dinner, Joe’s second of the night and your first and only. Most of the time his eating schedule was hard to keep up with.

You knew that he loved spicy food and his chef just had some Carolina Reapers delivered, some of the hottest peppers he could find. Desperately trying to get him out of his head, you made two noodle dishes with the peppers, stating that the first person to take a drink loses. If he won, he’d get three uninterrupted video game nights a week whenever he wanted for a month. And if you won? A karaoke date.

Which led you to today and would explain Joe’s visceral reaction at the thought of singing. Or having any fun during a very NOT fun time in his life. Alas, you were determined to make this an enjoyable experience for everyone involved. Hopefully.

As much as Joe dreaded it, Friday came and it was time to go. He watched somewhat happily as you bounded down the stairs, snatching the keys on the counter and asking him if he was ready to leave. You could tell he wanted to ask you why he couldn’t drive, but he swallowed his pride and let himself be the passenger prince for once. This week was meant for relaxation, letting his hair down and stepping away from the disappointment of the team underperforming based on his and the entire NFL world’s expectations. The more time passed, the more people were starting to believe that maybe their best days were behind them. That 2021 playoff run was in the rear view mirror and the possibility of getting back to that caliber looked near impossible.

You spent the entire drive thinking about how the weight of it all was clearly weighing on him and you just wanted to help him lighten that load by doing something you both considered silly and meaningless. Joe’s unwavering focus and need for a routine during the season was impressive and admirable, but you needed to let him know this week that life was still full of little pleasures. You hoped that day would serve to remind him of that.

The two of you walked into the dimly lit room, ushered through the back where your private karaoke space awaited. Neon lights adorned the place and made you feel like you were in some coming of age film, except you already had the guy you wanted.

“This place is huge,” your boyfriend notes, looking around suspiciously. “It’s just gonna be the two of us, right? Because I’m not singing for an audience.”

“You play in front of 65,000 people at home games but THIS is where you draw the line?” You laugh.

He shrugs his shoulders, taking a seat on the leather couch with a water bottle firmly in hand. “That’s different, I spend all week getting prepared, studying my opponent, going to practice. It’s just football. This is…not my area of expertise.”

“I don’t want you to be perfect, I want you to have fun.” Joe sighs at your words, glancing towards you slightly in awe as you mindlessly look through the song selection. You set your sights on the perfect song, gently grabbing the mic and getting yourself mentally prepared.

Joe playfully rolls his eyes at you tiny imitation of him meditating and getting in the zone before a game. “You ready?” He asks.

After a firm nod, you hear the music play, Chandelier by Sia blasting on the speakers. Joe had heard your rendition of the song in the shower on many occasions, but now he’d be listening to you on the big stage.

You loved having his full attention for a few hours, the way his icy blue eyes looked softer in this light, the way the smile reached his eyes when you sang a note a little off key and kept going…you might have even started singing a little louder to really drive the performance home. He gave you a standing ovation when you were done shaking his head as he laughed, the previous tension in his shoulders had disappeared and you were grateful because it was there so frequently you thought it had become permanent and he’d never relax again. But there he was, bright eyed and highly amused at your conviction in committing to the bit and your ability to never take yourself too seriously. It was one of his favorite things about you, the confidence you had in yourself and your ability to make those around you at ease. And he felt bad for not telling you enough how much that really meant to him. The least he could do now was give you the performance of a lifetime.

“Alright,” he sighs walking closer to you, grabbing the purple mic off the rack, “watch and learn.”

“Oh? The reluctant student has become the master. I like where this is going.” A subtle hint of his cocky demeanor sends shivers down your spine, and you try your best to ignore whatever is going on between your legs.

Even if you did try to tell anyone tonight happened, they wouldn’t believe you. There’s no way on earth that Joe Burrow actually got up and sang the entirety of Hot in Herre by Nelly without missing a single word. No chance. And yet…here you were witnessing a moment in history that fascinated and mesmerized you so much that you didn’t even reach for your phone to record it. Living in the moment, enjoying the feeling of his hands on you waist, pulling you in so that your bodies were close enough to use the same mic while you did the ad-libs was everything you could’ve asked for, and more, out of this karaoke date night.

When the music stopped playing, you were too gobsmacked to even laugh let alone form a coherent thought. “Where the hell did that come from?”

He’s always keeping you on your toes, that’s for sure, but this came out of left field. Way left.

“I don’t know,” he laughs, parking himself next to you running his fingers through his barely there blond tips. “Saw you have fun with it and I just thought, why not do the same?”

“Well I’m very impressed. And I think we should do another song.”

So you did, for the next hour. Kid Cudi was on the Setlist of course, a little Beyoncé thrown in there and by the end of your reserved time neither of you could remember the last time you’d laughed as hard or as often during football season. All of that just reenforced the fact that he really needed tonight.

You let Joe drive the two of you home, feeling him pause before pulling out of the parking lot.

“What’s on your mind?” Your voice was gentle, soothing him and making seemingly all of his problems vanish into the night.

He grabs your hand over the center console, looking over with so much love in his eyes. “I just wanted to thank you. For today. For—for everyday. I know this isn’t the most fun time and I haven’t been the easiest or most fun to be around but, you’re always here for me and I appreciate that more than I can say out loud. So this is me…trying to be better.”

“Honey, I am so proud of you. Just couldn’t keep sitting there, letting you blame yourself for everything that’s going wrong. You deserve the world and I can’t give you that but I can give you goofy little date nights. I hope that’s enough.”

The quarterback smiles, letting one hand rest on your cheek, “it’s more than enough. I just wish I could do more for the team you know? I don’t play defense but maybe I’m not leading them enough or motivating guys to be at their best?”

“No, stop. A year ago you were about to have season ending wrist surgery that no quarterback has ever gone through before. Now you’re statistically the best quarterback in the league and you’re playing the best you’ve ever played in your entire life. I know you’re not happy with where the team is at but you should be over the moon about how far you’ve come and how far you can go. I’ll be with you every step of the way, you know that.”

You can tell he’s about to open his mouth to downplay your words so you continue before he can put a stop to it. “If your performance post injury isn’t enough of an example or enough of a motivation tactic then that’s on them. You are putting your best foot forward daily and if they aren’t matching that energy then things need to change. Things that don’t include you. I may be biased but I think you’re perfect,” you give him a peck on the lips, feeling the smile on the corner of his mouth beginning to form.

He put the car in the drive, shaking his head. “You’re just saying that because I sang Nelly for you.”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that statement. I’m just very glad I won the bet.”

#joe burrow #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow fic

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jmdbjk · 29 days ago

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Is it time to bring back Weekly Bangtan Report?

This isn't exactly that though. It's more of a wrap up of what I've seen making the rounds in my Boraworld in the last few weeks. Most of what I've been seeing is bringing me joy and making my anticipation go through the roof for their return! A few things...not so much. I'll touch on both.

I've been loving my weekly Hobi-watch, knowing he's going back and forth from Korea to the next concert city. I will miss seeing him weekly like that when the tour is finished. I love his Instagram updates and then seeing the timeline flooded with fans' video clips and excitement about their experience.

[Hobi handing out the Hobi-dollars because those barricades won't allow anyone to toe-grab them from the floor.]

And don't get me started about Hobi wilding out everywhere he goes. As this tour winds down, I've seen him really grow as a performer with every tour stop. I tried to do a screen grab of the Bapsae thrust but still pics cannot convey the wanton flapping of... anyway... nevermind... use your imagination...

The interviews he's had with Zach Sang and Zane Lowe, the Rolling Stone interview have been enlightening and fantastic. His personality glows! The photos from the most recent Billboard Magazine cover story are gorgeous. I LOVE IT!

And now Jin's hitting the promotion trail for Echo. The Empire State Building event was fun and different! He did great on Jimmy Fallon! His Hi-Seokjin event was a nice way to connect with more fans. He's not done yet, so we'll see more in the next week or so from him. For the past year he's kept his visibility high in South Korea by participating in every manner of variety show. I've already said I can't keep up with his schedule. Then he pulled the ultimate UNO card by hosting Tom Cruise on Run Jin while Tom was on his press junket for his latest Mission Impossible film.

Namjoon's RPWP continues to rake in the awards internationally. Today he posted his workout for the day on the BTS workout room white board.

[His spiky hair in the shadow on the bottom of the board hahahaha]

Things are getting back to normal already! He also posted a pic of himself getting measured for a suit by Tailorable. Is he too big for any of his old suits? Is there a special occasion he's going to attend? Friends wedding? Hmmmmm?? This suit-maker has made the members' suits for all kinds of things over the years but most recently: those yellow Butter AMA suits, the glittery black Grammys performance suits, their suits they wore for their visit to the White House, 2021 Fact Music Awards, TIME magazine covers, the Black Watch plaid suits they wore for their last group performance of "For Youth" on Music Bank in 2022, Jimin's black suit he wore in a Tiffany campaign, Jungkook's pinstriped suits for the Seven MV funeral casket scene and the grey waistcoat suit he wore for Standing Next to You MV, and more.

[Fun fact: Tailorable is a teeny tiny shop just off Itaewon-ro (road) and around the corner from Nine One apartments.]

I've seen glimpses of Taehyung out and about and he might be cooking something up, who knows but some of the people I've seen him with

👀

(not posting any pics, sorry, more about that in a minute) But it's ALL GOOD!

Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi. More in a minute.

SEVENTEEN DAYS UNTIL JIMIN AND JUNGKOOK ARE BACK!

Speaking of 17...

The Seventeen promotion decal on the Hybe building.

I don't keep up with them. I'm only here for BTS.

I only know all of this because Armys' can't stop themselves from reacting and post about it on the timeline and it inevitably shows up on mine.

Here's the sitch: Seventeen is dropping an album on Monday and it's their tenth anniversary. It's understandable they'd be promoting a milestone event. We know about those things don't we? Word is, the window decor will be gone by June 1. As expected.

As my bestie said: "Pledis/Hybe support for Seventeen - it isn't only because of their anniversary (timing), it's because all the groups there need constant support and publicity. There is a future for Hybe without a constant stream of BTS income and all those other groups will have to contribute."

And I'll add that the other labels and their groups need to pull their own weight and generate revenue so BTS don't have to work themselves to the bone ever again (unless its their choice) to support the entire company.

Hybe also consists of other companies and divisions, not just the music labels. The division that creates the festival-like events that we've enjoyed for BTS concerts and Festa, that company needs to stay in business and what else would they do on a large scale in order to keep their staff employed? Be available to provide the same resources for the other music labels.

I think one thing that people tend to do irrationally is pay more attention to what other fandoms are saying than thinking about the big picture instead.

Armys get riled up when another fandom starts gloating. There's that dreaded "reaction due to emotions" thing again. It's not helping BTS at all. I get it, everyone is proud and gets defensive. It's just not necessary at this point in time.

Be proud instead by knowing that BTS paved the way and showed how successful their ideas and concepts were so that those coming after can use those ideas and concepts to help generate income. Remember, when Hybe's value increases, the members of BTS do too.

Remember, the huge mural of BTS that was painted on the side of the Hybe building for 2023 Festa only remained about a week or two if I recall. I am confident the Hybe building will be abuzz with all things BTS the entire month of June.

BTS' legacy is etched in stone at this point. There is no need to "correct" or "educate" other fandoms about our truth. The truth is already in the history books.

Anyway, next topic...

Photos of the members on personal time.

There's a lot to say here. Its a very controversial and sensitive topic. Some are hardline, zero tolerance types. Some share everything they come across regardless of the impact on BTS or the fandom.

Common courtesy is to leave them alone and let them live and do things privately.

Truth of the matter is you can't stop anyone from taking pics of them when they are spotted in the wild. The members know this. They also are aware any pics being taken will make their way to social media. It is an unfortunate thing. I have to admit, if I were to ever spot them, I'd weigh the situation by observing the surroundings and their demeanor and then possibly whip out my phone and try to take a pic so I can remind myself that I indeed experienced the unthinkable in my lifetime, to remind myself that I didn't dream the moment.

The choice of sharing this type of thing on social media however, lies with the people doing it, "choice" being the keyword. We all have the freedom of choice. We all also have the freedom of choice to block or report anything. Everyone needs to do what they think is right.

If I ever shared this type of image publicly it will be years after they were taken and/or they've become part of BTS history and lore.

But I will look at the photos being shared if I come across them and I will take the information in and add it to whatever puzzles are going on in my head. It is how one can piece together those big pictures I keep talking about. I'll even talk about them in length.

All that being said, I don't fault anyone expressing how happy they are to see members after so long. We've all worried about their wellbeing and we cannot wait to see them in real time in a few weeks.

And IF we were to get a genuine, real time confirmed glimpse of Yoongi in the wild, I promise you, all the policing by everyone is going out the window. You know it, I know it, we've missed our little cat rapper so hard, we've worried about him so much that any image will be devoured and over-analyzed and overshared uncontrollably. Mark my words.

Hybe expanding.

1. Rumors about adding an office in Mumbai, possibly by acquiring an already established entertainment company which is what Universal and Sony have done there. Hybe is continuing to establish a global presence.

2. The hiring of a former Google/LV-Sephora creative director, and who was most recently creative director for Shinsegae Group in Seoul. Shinsegae is a major South Korean retail company that operates both department stores and discount stores. It is a leading retail chaebol, along with Lotte and Hyundai Department Store, and is part of the broader Shinsegae Group. Shinsegae's flagship department store, Shinsegae Centum City, is one of the largest in the world. They also have a substantial discount store network, E-Mart, which offers groceries and household goods. It's a big conglomerate and Hybe has hired their creative director so I'm thinking they will rebrand globally and wipe everything away forever that was created by Min Hee Jin.

3. Acquiring Confirmed360, a U.S. event concierge company. They do major VIP tailgate events for pro sports teams which means they are well-versed in managing events onsite at major stadium venues.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with what a tailgate event is, traditionally, fans arrive to the stadium for a professional sports event early and after parking in the stadium's parking lot, fans will have pre-game parties before going into the stadium for the game. Tailgaters bring their bbq pits and cook and drink. Professional tailgate parties are catered with elaborate special events and entertainment, merch booths and other features.

Confirmed360 will work in conjunction with the Hybe division that does Festa and the city-festivals when BTS is on tour. So exciting!

Music Shows.

There is discussion about not supporting the Tablo X RM collab Stop the Rain and this discussion is mostly about it not achieving the streaming and other metrics required to win Music Bank or MCountdown a few weeks ago.

Breaking News: those shows are not meant for that type of music. Their audience is limited to those watching Korean broadcast television. Korean music shows target audiences that skew to the younger demographic. And by younger, that means the type of fan who is school age to mid-20s, typical kpop fans who idolize one group this week only to toss them away for a new group next week.

In my personal opinion, Armys place too much importance on these weekly music show awards.

My wise bestie put it like this: "...fans talk out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously; bitching that the west gatekeeps them into only a Kpop category when they are not, while bitching that they lose music show and other goofy-ass kpop trophies. You can't have it both ways. Are they kpop or are they not?

And, at the same time, recognize that if they DO go on those music shows, it's not because they think winning it for the umpteenth time is crucial, but it's because they will grab any chance to perform before live people. THAT'S WHO THEY ARE. Performers - not award hungry rookies who need those trophies to remain relevant.

I know it's futile to believe that most X (Twitter) Army can carry more than two thoughts at a time, can parse out the nuance in what the members do and why. And for that very reason BTS should stay off music shows, to allow those starting out to establish themselves and give their fans a chance to celebrate."

Yes. And they might. It wouldn't surprise me if they do. But if they do, I guarantee they have come up with another way to get in front of their fans. A way we haven't thought of yet. One more appropriate for the K-Army who are also maturing out of teenybopper idolatry.

This week Jin lost by 42 points because the song had zero broadcast points. Jin didn't promote in Korea, he was busy in the U.S. promoting here trying to reach a different audience. That should tell you all something... but lately it seems that most things need to be spelled out by bullet points for people to understand.

Again, my bestie is great with words: "Too many ARMY think BTS needs to win everything from a Grammy to any 2-bit, half-bogus SK award for best eyebrows."

ANYWAY... I'm still watching everything very closely even if I don't post often. I have a lot to say, just not as much time as I'd like to spill it all out in a blog post. And lately EVERYTHING. MOVES. SO. FAST! In one month we will be in POST-MILITARY ERA and I CAN'T WAIT!!!!

#JIMIN AND JUNGKOOK WILL BE BACK IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS AND 4 DAYS!!!!!!#BTS 7 REUNION IN 4 WEEKS!!!#jimin #jungkook #namjoon #hobi #jin #taehyung #YOONGI #laughing at solos begging members to leave the company shut up you brainless imbeciles #jikook #kookmin

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sparkleofpizza · 7 months ago

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The Alchemy

Lando Norris x fem!reader

Norris and Button traveling around the world together.

THE 2021 SEASON

PRE SEASON TESTING Sakhir, Bahrein, 2021

The McLaren office is silent as I scan over the list of reporters that will be present for the pre-season testing. This is my first time at a testing of Formula 1 and also my first day at the job as not an intern, but as a junior PR assistant.

I’m nervous, again, just like I was the first day as an intern two years ago. Sophie isn’t here this week, she told me she wanted to see how I’d deal with this by myself, considering pre-season is supposed to be a bit more chill, as I only have to deal with the press and not the fans as well.

As I finally finish jolting down the necessary notes, I get my phone and smooth down my skirt. I’m trying to appear more professional, wearing a skirt and a button down shirt.

I walk out of McLaren and onto the eerily quiet paddock. I spot Lando talking to Daniel Ricciardo, his new teammate. The fellow brit waves me over and I smile walking to them.

“Hey guys.” I smile, standing beside Lando who grins at me.

Once again I have the same thought as I did earlier this week when I saw Lando for the first time since my five week vacation with my family. What the fuck.

There was something different about him, I don’t know what it is, but he’s different. I don’t know if he changed something in his hair routine, or is trying out a new workout with his personal trainer. Or if he had an attitude change. There is something different about him, and I can’t get my heart to beat normally around him.

The two McLaren drivers include me in their conversation and we carry on talking normally. There’s a new dynamic here, Daniel and Lando, the new duo, but they get along well and I can’t help but think that it’s because it’s humanly impossible to dislike Lando. He’s just so… Wow.

“Mick!” I squeal in delight once I spot the new Haas driver walking side by side with Sebastian.

Mick Shumacher smiles big once he sees me and I run to him, tackling him with a hug. He catches me with ease and spins me around before putting my feet back on the ground.

“Oh, I’m so happy to see you here!”

“I’m happy to see you here, as well!” He says back, matching grin on his face.

Our eyes are wide and we look like hyperactive children.

Sebastian sighs dramatically “Will we have to keep you both separated again?”

Daniel smirks, piping into the conversation.

“Again?”

Sebastian nods, looking as if he’s in pain.

“They once set a car on fire.”

Mick and I yell in protest.

Daniel’s eyes are wide and Lando arches an eyebrow at me.

“It was a plastic car.” I explain.

“And someone who was supposed to be baby sitting us let us loose at the Red Bull garage” Mick complements.

Daniel laughed delighted, throwing his head back and Lando cracks a small smile, which is extremely unsual of him.

“Hey, don’t put this on me.” Sebastian defends himself “She was an angel and you were an overall well behaved child. How would I know you’d corrupt her sweetness in such a short amount of time?”

Mick grins as he shrugs “We weren’t that bad.”

“Didn’t you call Kimi once because you two got drunk and he would be the nicest of the bunch to pick you up?”

I smile at the memory “Yeah, we called Kimi and he took care of me and then yelled at Mick for being a bad influence.”

Mick shudders as he recalls the night Kimi Raikonnen yelled at him as he scolded the Shumacher young boy.

“Oh damn, the iceman went all out on you.” Daniel laughes again.

This time Lando joins in on the laugher, but his eyes are focused on me and he has his arms crossed.

Imola, Italy, 2021

Lando has been a bit weird for past few weeks, ever since Bahrein, which is confusing. Pre season testing went great, the first race of the season he managed to get p4. Still, he was in a kind of bad mood.

I’ve been watching the race intensely from the McLaren garage, once there are only four laps left, I go wait for him at parc fermé. Lando’s gonna get a podium, the first podium of the season and his second podium of his career.

I try to keep a professional appearance as I stand at parc ferme. He parks his car at p3. He hasn’t taken off his helmet yet, but I can tell from his body language that he is buzzing with excitement.

Lewis and Max clap him on the back and he runs to his team. I try to keep a smile at bay, I know there are lots of cameras on me right now, wanting to get the attention of the girl who only got the job because of her daddy.

He takes off his helmet and balaclava after he weighs down and his eyes lock on me.

Lando grins, placing his helmet at the table and takes large steps to where I am. Before I can even process he scoops me up in his arms and squishes my body.

“I got p3.” He mumbled onto my neck.

“You did. It was amazing.” I smile as I let him continue to squeeze me in a tight hug “Congratulations Lan.”

“I did that.” He says, emphatically on the I. “You saw what I did, right? You were paying attention to me at the race, weren’t you?”

I’m a bit confused at what he means by that, but nod.

“Yes, of course, Lan.”

“Good.” He mumbled, finally letting go of me, but his hands continued on my body “You’re here with me, Norris and Button traveling the world. No one else is part of that.”

I nod, still not following what he means by that. Lando stares at me with those beautiful eyes and smiles.

What is going on?

Barcelona, Spain, 2021

The Sainz family, as sweet and welcoming as ever, invited me and Lando to have dinner with them. It's Carlos' home race, but we all still keep our friendship up and his father loves to have us around, mostly Lando who shares his love for golf and I’m pretty sure became an honorary son to him.

As we sit in a restaurant I take on the opportunity that Lando, who’s across from me, is engaged in a conversation with Caco, so I turn to Carlos.

“Hey… have you also noticed that Lando has been acting a bit weird this year?” I ask him in a low tone so no one else but me, him and his girlfriend Isa can hear.

Carlos’ tilt his head to the side a bit confused while Isa smiles fondly at me.

“No, not really. He’s been normal.”

Isa lightly taps his arm and they seem to have a silent conversation before Carlos turns to me again, a smile on his face and a glint in his eyes.

“Oh, pequeñita. You haven’t noticed yet, have you?”

“Notice what?” I question him, even more confused than before.

“It’s because of Shumacher.”

I frown “Mick? What does Mick have to do with Lando’s weird behavior?”

Isa laughs softly as she leans closer to me.

“You know what that means, he’s jealous of Mick.”

I widened my eyes incredulously.

“Jealous? But why?!”

The couple share another glance before Carlos pats my head in a sweet but annoying gesture.

I grow a bit annoyed with the fact that they won’t tell me why, but I decide to keep quiet and not say anything else. I’ll just have to figure it out on my own.

Le Castellet, France, 2021

Daniel flanked me through the paddock, a frown on his usual smiley face. He was pissed, I had never seen him pissed off before.

I had arrived at the paddock with him, Lando had arrived earlier as he rode with Carlos.

When we got out of the van there were fans waiting for Daniel and he stopped for pictures and autographs. There was a small child with their parents who gushed me over, as they had been Jenson Button’s fans. They asked for a picture and I couldn’t say no when they were so sweet. And that’s when the shit show went down.

Some fans, overhearing our conversation, started to shout bad words at me. They called me an opportunist, said I didn’t deserve my job, they called me a whore, accused me of sleeping with the drivers so I’d keep my job.

I was frozen in place, I didn’t know how to react. I had never been publicly hated before, it was already horrible to read those things online, but hearing them being shouted to my face, it was much much worse.

Daniel snapped the minute he heard those words. He told the fans off, called security and took me inside the paddock and quickly to the McLaren hospitality.

Lando was lounging on the couch when Daniel slammed the door open, he was on his feet the minute he saw our body language.

“What happened?” He rushed over to me. When I didn’t say anything he turned to Daniel “What happened?”

“Some fucking assholes saying fucking bullshit to her.” Daniel answered angrily.

And it’s like things finally clicked in place and I realized what happened. The tears came out in waves.

Lando was quick to wrap his arms around me, cradling my head on the crock of his neck.

Daniel explained to him what the fans had been saying outside the paddock and Lando only held me tighter as I cried.

“Come on, let’s go to my driver's room.” He mumbled once he realized some of the McLaren staff had been looking at us. “You’ll be much more comfortable there, love.”

Still keeping me in his arms, he walked me to his driver's room, closing the door shut behind us. He guides me to the couch, sitting me in between his legs and still holding me close.

Lando caressed my hair as he whispered reassuring words into my ear.

“I’ll never be good enough for them.” I sob onto his neck “No matter what I do, I will never be able to prove myself. I should just give up… yeah, yeah… I’m gonna quit my job.”

“Hey, no!” Lando says sternly. He pulls my face off his neck and cups it in his hands, forcing me to look into his eyes. “You’re not quitting. I’m not letting you give up, that’s not happening. Not now, not ever.”

He wipes away my tears with his thumbs.

“You are good enough. You’re more than good enough.” He tells me. “You have been doing an amazing job. You’re not here because of your father.”

“But my dad helped me get this job.” I protest, still softly crying.

“Yes, he did help you get the job and you never denied it, you’ve been vocal about getting this jump start.” He nods “But it wasn’t your dad that made you keep the job. It wasn’t your dad that made you get the promotion from intern to junior assistant. It was all you. It was your talent, your professionalism, your hard work. It was you, only you.”

I stare at him, processing his words.

“And those assholes that said those things to you? They are nothing but pathetic people who need to put others down to feel good about themselves. You don’t owe them anything. “

I nod slowly, my tears finally slowing down as he still has my face in between his hands. Lando smiles softly at me.

“You are incredible, love, I wish you could see how amazing you are.”

He leans in, placing a soft tender kiss on my forehead. I close my eyes, enjoining his affection.

Lando lets go of my face, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as he leans back on the couch, making me lie on his chest. One of his hands rests on my hip, holding me close.

I take a deep breath, snuggling against him and keeping my eyes closed.

Silverstone, England, 2021

“And then, he refuses to let her buy her own records!” I exclaim to Lando. “So she didn’t own her own music anymore. The music she worked her whole life on!”

We were sitting at the McLaren hospitality together. It was way too hot outside at the Silverstone circuit so the two of us were sitting inside, where there was air conditioning, and we were having ice cream.

“But, Taylor is really smart, and she decided to re-record her albums. So if there is a Taylor’s version after it it means she owns it. And she releases songs from the vault that are songs she wrote originally for that album but that got cut off.”

Lando nods along to what I’m saying, a small smile on his lips.

“And she’s releasing… purple Taylor’s version in November?” He asks me.

I chuckle, “It’s red Taylor’s version.”

“Oh, I see…” he hums “Why red?”

“It’s her favorite color. Oh, I can’t wait to dress in full red on the release album date.”

“That’s a no.” He shakes his head.

I tilt my head to the side confused “What do you mean that’s a no?”

“I’m not letting you dress in red! Red is Ferrari’s color and you're a McLaren girl.”

I place a spoonful of chocolate ice cream in my mouth, letting it melt on my tongue before smiling mischievously at him.

“Everybody is a Ferrari fan.” I tease him.

“No! No! You’re not quoting Sebastian Vettel to me!” He exclaims dramatically “I already lost my best friend to Ferrari, I can’t lose my girl too!”

I felt the blush taking control of my cheeks when he called me his girl.

“Not happening. Doesn’t she have a papaya album?”

I shake my head, still a bit dazed with his words.

“The closest she has to an orange tone is her evermore album that is more of a terracota.”

Lando nods “That works for me, it’s better than a red themed one.”

I giggle at him, poking his side.

“I can’t believe you’re mad over an album color theme.”

He rolls his eyes, but he has an affectionate smile on his face.

Magyórod, Hungry, 2021

The knocking on the door startled me awake. I jump in bed, rubbing my eyes as I click on the screen of my phone. It’s midnight. I frown wondering who it could be at this time of night.

I throw the blankets to the side as I pad quietly to the door. I open just a tiny bit to see who it is.

Lando smiles big when he sees my face. I sigh in relief that it’s a familiar person, I open the door wider and there he is. Standing in a hoodie and sweatpants and holding a birthday cake.

“Happy birthday!” He exclaims.

I widen my eyes, having completely forgotten it is my birthday.

“Thank you, Lan!” I smile, stepping to the side to let him into the room.

Lando walks to the table and places the cake there. I follow him close behind as I look at the beautifully decorated cake. In a cursive letter it’s written I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22!

“Oh my god, you got me a Taylor Swift birthday cake!”

Lando grins before wrapping his arms around me and kissing the top of my head.

“Of course, how couldn’t I get a 22 birthday themed cake for the 22 year old girl who’s obsessed with Taylor Swift?”

I smile as I squeeze him in the hug.

“You’re the best of the best of the best!” I squeak happily.

He smiles before kissing my temple.

“You only deserve the best.”

We stayed hugging for a few more minutes, enjoying the hug before pulling away. I smile at him again, that’s all I do when I’m around him, and I grab his hand pulling him towards the bed.

“Sleep over?” I ask softly as he sits together in the fluffy bed.

“Yes.” He nods.

Lando looks nervous for a moment and I get concerned I might have crossed a boundary of asking him to stay over, although it won’t be the first time we slept on the same bed.

He sighs before putting his hand inside his hoodie pocket and pulling out a velvet box from inside of it. He smiles nervously before handing it to me.

“Your birthday present.” He mumbled

I gasp as I open the box. Inside of it there’s a beautiful gold necklace, the pendant is a heart with its outside full of tiny pink swarovskis. I take the delicate jewelry in my hands as I turn it around, on the back of the heart it’s written LN.

“Lando…” I murmur

“I-I wanted to have my… my initials on it so you ’d… so you’d always have me close to you.” He mumbled awkardly, his cheeks pink.

“It’s beautiful.” I smile “I love it. Thank you.”

I turn back to him and pull my hair to the side “Can you put it on me, please?”

“Y-yeah.”

Lando’s hands are a bit shaky as he places the necklace around my neck, his fingertips bringing goosebumps to my skin.

I turn around again and his eyes fall to my neck and chest, where the heart necklace he gave me rests. He smiles proudly.

“It looks beautiful on you.” He said, lifting his eyes to look at me “You’re beautiful.”

I smile, leaning over and placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you, Lan. I’m never taking this off.”

He grins harder, leaning over and placing a kiss on my cheek as well.

SUMMER BREAK

Mallorca, Spain, 2021

“Retirement huh?” I ask Kimi Raikkonen as we’re enjoining the beach in Mallorca

It’s not usual for the Raikkonen family to join us during summer break, along with the Rosbergs and Vettels. Lewis used to come along with Roscoe but since his fallout with Nico he never joined us again - even after when I was seventeen and I called him crying asking him to join us because my dad was retiring and we should all spend one last summer together. He came, after Nico left. Those dramatic middle aged men.

Kimi gives me a lazy smile, which also isn’t usual contrary to popular belief. He has his sunglasses on and is building a sandcastle with me and his two children, Robin and Rianna.

“Eh, racing is a hobby and I got tired of it.” He shrugs “Now I’m more into dirty bike riding.”

I chuckle, shaking my head “Somehow that sounds even worse than driving cars in circles.”

Robin gives me a bright smile as he says “Don’ wowwy, I race car soon in Formula 1 and you cheer I!”

I smile at him, ruffling his blonde hair “Of course, Rob! I wouldn’t dare to cheer for anyone else but you!”

The little boy seems content as he goes back to building the sandcastle. Rianna actually grew bored of it a few minutes ago and is now busy with playing, tugging, at my hair.

“Who’s he?” Kimi asks suddenly.

“What?” I frown confused.

“The boy who gave you the necklace.”

“Oh.” I feel my cheeks warm up, truth to my words I have indeed been wearing the necklace Lando gave me all the time. “Lando gave me as a birthday gift.”

I can see the furrow on Kimi’s eyebrows even if he’s wearing sunglasses.

“That thing made a move on you?!” He exclaims “I’m running him off track when we’re back from summer break.”

“What? No!” I shake my head “It’s just a necklace.”

“A custom heart shaped necklace! It’s like he has a death wish or something.” He whips his head to the side “Sebastian! Come here! Now!”

Seb, who was peacefully napping under the umbrella, sits startled at Kimi’s urgent call. He runs to us.

“Norris made a move on her!”

“What?” Sebastian asks scandalized “He did what? That little asshole!”

“He didn’t do anything, Seb.” I explain as I point to my necklace “Kimi is just freaking out over the birthday gift Lando gave me.”

Seb sits on the sand beside me, leaning closer to scan the necklace.

“Yeah, I’m running him off track when the summer break is over.”

“That’s what I said!” Kimi smiles big “We’re running him off track together so he doesn’t have anywhere to escape to.”

Seb hums, nodding his head “That’s a good plan.”

I look at them in exasperation “No one is running anyone off track.”

They ignore me as they keep plotting.

“Hey!” I snap at them and the two grown men finally look at me “Lando and I are just friends, stop this. And even if we weren’t, I’m 22, I’m allowed to date.”

They share a look before laughing.

“No, you’re not allowed to date.” Seb says, still chuckling “You’re funny, prinzessin.”

I glare at them but they only continue to laugh at me.

“You’re still the first pieni vauva, you always will be.” Kimi grins at me “And that means you’re only allowed to date when you’re… fifty.”

“You’re both ridiculous.” I scoff but I have a small smile on my lips.

Deep down I know they don’t actually mean it. But I have to keep an eye out so that they won’t threaten Lando or something like that.

Monza, Italy, 2021

“You’re here!” Lando yelled over the loud music, arms open wide and a drink in his hand. He was for sure already drunk.

Daniel had won the Monza Grand Prix and Lando came just in second, it was the first time in his F1 career he had gotten p2. The team had decided to go out to celebrate at a club and some other drivers joined in - Max Verstappen, who had a terrible race and dnf, was there drinking the night away to celebrate his best friend and also drown his feelings.

I stepped up to where Lando stood and smiled at him.

“Yeah, sorry it took me too long.” I let him hug me “I couldn’t decide what to wear.”

Lando grabbed my hand, twirling me around and whistling as my sparkly short blue dress shone under the club lights.

“You certainly made a great choice.” He smirked at me “You look incredible.”

I feel my cheeks grow warm.

“Thank you.”

I went over to the bar to order myself a drink and Lando followed me close behind. As I stood leaning over the bar to order my drink, I could feel his warm chest against my back.

I stood up straight as I waited for the bartender, and I tilted my head to the side to look at Lando who was already looking down on me.

He's wearing a simple white shirt and jeans, but he’s wearing his damn cap backwards. He always looks fucking good when he wears it backwards and it actually makes me weak in the knees seeing him so up close like this, his chest pressed against my back.

I’m snapped out of it when the bartender hands me my drink. I thank him before letting Lando lead me back to where the rest of our group is. I sip on my drink, letting the alcohol flow through me and relax me.

Carlos is dancing with Charles while Max laughs at their terrible moves. Daniel is screaming the music as he hugs Zac and they both sway side to side.

I can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous they look.

Lando grins at me as he’s sitting on a stool, his left arm resting on top of the table.

“Come here.” He says as he wiggles two of his fingers for me to get closer.

When I’m at reach distance, he turns me around and pulls me to stand in between his legs. My back hits his chest and he wraps an arm around my waist, keeping me close.

My breath hitches as he does this so effortlessly and as if it’s normal to hug me from behind.

“They’re gonna be all over Instagram and Twitter tomorrow.” Lando whispers in my ear “They look ridiculous.”

I chuckle “They really do.” I sip my drink “Aren’t you gonna join them?”

I feel his laugh against the side of my face.

“Are you calling me ridiculous?” He asks in feign hurt.

I giggle, craning my neck a bit to the side so I can see his face. He has a smug smile on his lips.

“You ridiculous? Never!” I giggle harder when he squeezes my waist in a playful warning “It’s just that usually you’re the life of the party and right now you’re sitting on a stool drinking peacefully.”

Lando smiles, his dimples even more evident as the pulsing lights of the club shine on his face.

“Can you blame me for wanting to stay here with the prettiest girl in the club?”

Once again I feel my cheeks grow warm, but since I’ve already had drunk, my mind is a bit dazed so I smile at him.

“Really? And where is this pretty girl?” I ask him in a tease.

He smirks, squeezing my waist again and relishing in me squirming against his chest.

“She’s right here… in my arms.” He mumbled before placing a long lasting kiss on my cheek. “The prettiest girl in the club.” He moves his lips a bit down and kisses my jaw “The prettiest girl I have ever seen.”

I feel my heart flutter in my chest at his words and at his touch. I know he’s drunk and doesn’t mean any of it, but for a night I can pretend he does mean it, so I let him hold me close.

Cidade do México, México, 2021

“Oh, Mick…” I whisper as I hug him, softly rubbing his back “It’s okay… this kind of thing happens.”

Mick huffs annoyed against my shoulder. He crashed into Yuki Tsnuoda during the race today and they both had a DNF.

“You’re both rookies… that’s normal to happen.”

I apparently said the wrong thing because the German boy lifted his head from my shoulder, our face millimeters apart as he glared at me.

“Don’t say things that aren’t true.” He mumbled angrily “You’re not even a driver.”

I narrowed my eyes at him “There’s no need to take out your frustration on me, I’m not the one who crashed your car.”

We keep staring at each other, waiting for the other to back down. Eventually Mick sighs and goes back to burying his head on my shoulder as he continues to complain about it being unfair.

I don’t say anything, knowing that if I do we will end up having a fight, just like it happened when we were younger and he crashed into Formula 3 - he kept whining about the crash that had been his own fault and I called him out on it. We didn’t speak for three weeks.

“There you are!” Lando’s voice cut through the silence of one of the cool down rooms of the paddock.

He gave Mick an unimpressed look and a glare.

“Hi, Lan.” I smile at him.

Ever since our little encounter at the club right after the Monza Grand Prix things between us have been different. He certainly kept touching me every chance he got and I wasn’t going to complain about it when in reality I loved to be wrapped in his arms.

“I need you for something.” He said, and I tilt my head confused as I was off the clock “It’s important. Please.”

“Sure.” I nod as Mick lifts his head from my shoulder and away from me “Take care, Mick.”

The Shumacher boy looks at me with a slight pout of being deprived of comfort after his DNF, but didn’t say anything as Lando grabbed my hand and got me out of the cooldown room.

We walked in silence for a moment before we entered the paddock’ parking garage. Lando opened the back door of the van and helped me up inside before sitting beside me and taping the driver on the shoulder to signal we’re ready to go.

“So… burritos?” He asked.

“What?” I blink at him

“Do you want burritos for dinner? And some tacos? And nachos?”

“I… you…” I’m at a loss of words for a moment as I catch up to what he’s done “You called me here to help you because you want dinner?”

Lando nods, a sly smile on his face as he shifts his body on the back seat to take a better look at me.

“Yes, I’m hungry. That’s why I need your help, to have dinner with me.”

I can’t help but laugh at his audacity and then a memory comes up to my brain. Back in Spain, at the beginning of the season when I asked Carlos about Lando acting weird and Isa told me he was jealous. Jealous of Mick.

“Why don’t you like Mick?” I ask, catching him off guard.

Lando is momentarily stunned before he shakes his head.

“I do not not like him.”

“Yes, you do.” I say, a slight frown on my forehead “Whenever I’m with him you’re either glaring, snappy or you find excuses to drag me away.”

He avoids my eyes for a moment, looking at the rooftop of the car before finally looking at me again.

“It’s not that I don’t like him, it’s just that…” he trails off and is quiet again for a moment before he grumbles “He hogs all your attention.”

“Oh God, he’s my childhood friend and I don’t even spend that much of a time with him.”

“Do you like him?” He asks me.

I look at him stunned “What?”

Lando rolls his eyes “Do you like Shumacher? Like, do you have a crush on him or something?”

“No. He’s my childhood friend.” I repeat my words from earlier. “Why?”

He shrugs and won’t look at me.

I huff “Don’t do this, Lando.”

He looks at me from the corner of his eyes “Don’t do what?”

“You know very well what I’m talking about.” I cross my arms over my chest.

He doesn’t say anything and neither do I. We both look at the opposite windows of the car, watching as Mexico City passes by in a blur.

Doha, Qatar, 2021

Lando and I weren’t talking. Well, mostly he wasn’t talking to me after Mexico. During the Brazilian Grand Prix and his 22nd birthday, I snuck into his hotel room and left this gift there.

It was a small golden bracelet, it had his full name and race number on it. I left a sweet message alongside it, hoping he would get the hint of what I meant. I guess he did get the hint and didn’t like it because I woke up after the Brazilian Grand Prix to see Instagram and Twitter flooded with pictures of him making out with some girl at a club in São Paulo.

And now I was the one not talking to him because he has been texting me and calling me non stop on the two week break in between races.

I asked Sophie to take care of this scandal of him as I had never dealt something like that before and didn’t know where to start, so I just stayed on the sidelines watching her do her job and learning - in all honesty I just didn’t want to have to deal with him after seeing him kiss some random girl.

I was heartbroken and I didn’t want to let anyone know about it because if Kimi or Seb caught wind of this… I might be sad, but I’d like to keep Lando alive.

“Stop looking so sad…” Daniel pokes my arm “Those big sad eyes of yours… I can’t handle it.”

We were sitting together as we were waiting for the press conference to begin.

“I’m not sad.” I lied, “I’m just tired.”

“C’mon!” He all but whines “We’ve been working together for almost a year now, I know you’re lying.”

I don’t say anything so Daniel keeps talking “He’s sad too, you know.”

I give him a side eyed glance as I mumble “I don’t know who is this he you’re referring to.”

He sighs exasperated.

“You should talk to him.” He says after a few minutes of silence “Lando misses you.”

“No. I got his message loud and clear.” I shake my head, feeling the stupid tears gather in my eyes once again “I don’t need him to say it to my face. From now on we’re just… work colleagues.”

“But you’re not just work colleagues, you’re way more than that and you know it. Also, you both are dumb asses who got this all wrong.”

I turn to look at Daniel, the stubborn tears ready to spill out onto my cheeks.

“How did I get it wrong, Daniel? I wrote him a note basically saying he’s the best thing that has ever happened in my life and that he meant so much more to me than just a friendship that blossomed because of work.” I say wobbly as I refused to let the tears roll down from my eyes “And he went out and kissed someone else. Things have never been more clear to me. I was just a fool and stupid.”

Daniel says my name softly, but I shake my head.

“The press conference is about to start, get in the room. I’ll be waiting for you here.”

The Australian man sighs before nodding and following my instructions. He gives me one more look over the shoulder and I hate how he seems to pity me right now.

Abu Dhabi, Saudi Arabia, 2021

I didn’t go to the anual Abu Dhabi McLaren end of season party. Instead I went out to dinner with the Raikkonen family.

Tonight has been Kimi’s last race of his Formula 1 career and I wanted to be there with him for his last night. I’ve known him my whole life, I was the flower girl at his wedding and I had been the first baby in his life. Right now being with family seems better. I need this.

I decided not to be secretive about my motives of not being at the McLaren party as I posted a picture hugging Kimi on Instagram.

Old man retired. Now that you’re out of f1 I can finally say it: you’ve always been my favorite. Love you Setä Kimi 🥺💙

After dinner, Sebastian drove me back to the hotel. He had been quiet most of the night and I can tell he is sad. All of his friends have retired, now it’s just him, Lewis and Fernando who have decided to come back.

Once we’re out of the car and entering the elevator I turn to him.

“Please don’t tell me you’re going to leave as well.” I whisper.

He chuckles softly “I can’t say I’m not considering it. I’m getting old.”

“No, you’re not old.” I shake my head. “You’re not even forty yet!”

“But I’m not at my prime anymore. I only got one podium this year.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.” I argued back. “You switched teams, you’re still getting used to the car! You can’t leave!”

Suddenly it was like it had all hit me at once, the changes of it all. Kimi was leaving, he isn’t coming back next year. I’m not talking to Lando, who has been by my side since I started this job. And now Seb wants to leave as well.

“Hey, prinzessin, no, please don’t cry.”

I didn’t even notice the tears falling down my face as Sebastian hugged me tight. He caressed my hair in a soothing manner, like he used to do when I was a child.

We were standing in the middle of the hallway of the hotel. He rocked me gently in his arms, shushing me.

When I finally calmed down, Sebastian spoke again, his voice gentle.

“You need to talk to Lando.”

Before I could protest he continued to talk. “I know you’re not only crying because Kimi is leaving and I’m considering retirement. You need to talk to help, fix things between you two before it’s too late.”

“There’s nothing to fix…” I whisper sadly “He… I… I really like him, Seb. But he doesn’t feel the same way.”

“You’re kidding right?” He chuckled amused “That boy is head over heels for you.”

I open my mouth, but once again he cuts me off “I know what he did. He told me.”

“He… told you?” I question with a frown “And you’re still telling me to go talk to him?”

Sebastian nodded “Yes. He was desperate, he misses you so much and doesn’t know what to do anymore to get you to talk to him. He’s… hopeless, but he likes you too.”

When Sebastian left me in my hotel room, tucked into bed warm and safe with a kiss on the forehead, I kept replaying his words in my mind.

Lando likes me. That sounds weird. But I also know Sebastian would never ever lie to me about something like that.

I text Daniel asking him if Lando has already left the party. Daniel answers me with a yes in big bold letters and lots of exclamation marks.

I pace back and forth in my hotel room before slipping on my shoes. I open the mini fridge and get to mini liquor bottles. I dart out of my room and soon enough I’m standing in front of Lando’s room.

I take a deep breath before I knock on the door.

There are a few moments of silence, I can hear my heartbeat thumping in my ears. I hear the lock turn and soon enough Lando is standing in front of me. His green eyes are rimmed red and he looks like he has been crying.

He whispers my name, a slight tone of disbelief.

“We didn’t toast to another year of Norris and Button traveling the world together.” I say.

We stare at each other before he smiles and ushers me inside.

#fanfiction #f1 imagine #f1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 x reader #lando norris #lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you

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fuddaroundandgetbueckets · 1 month ago

Text

Surprise! Had some time today so here we go. I luhhhhhhh them. Lemme know if you like it <3

Part 7 - As the Snow Falls

Winter – 2021

Azzi watched as the snow billowed down in Storrs outside the physical therapy room window, her leg lifted and resting, the ice on her knee and foot beginning to melt. She had injured her foot last week, unable to play for the foreseeable future.

Her phone lay in her lap, quietly buzzing every so often. In it, held unread text after unread text of friends, teammates, and family offering condolences. She would get to them eventually, she told herself.

Azzi leaned her head back against the wall behind her, letting her eyes close. Truthfully, she wasn’t sad or mad; she was just numb. Maybe next week she would feel optimistic about the road to recovery, but right now she’d be grateful to feel…anything.

She felt a hand on her hoodie-covered shoulder and opened her eyes. Paige stood in front of her, eyes bouncing across her face. Azzi liked that they didn’t fall to her raised leg.

“Hey, Az,” she said softly.

Azzi closed her eyes again and gave her a small close-lipped smile in greeting.

Paige’s hand moved, slightly rubbing under Azzi’s ear. Azzi could feel Paige staring at her, but she couldn’t find the energy to open her eyes and stare back. She kept her head leaned back, fingers interlocked in her lap, until she heard a chair scraping on the floor.

Peering to the side, she watched as Paige wordlessly pulled a chair next to Azzi’s table. Crossing her legs, Paige pulled a book out of her bag, beginning to read.

Azzi stared, watching as she quietly flipped the pages next to her. Paige did so unhurriedly, looking comfortable and like she had no intention of moving.

Without looking up from her book, Paige slowly reached up and released Azzi’s hands from their bind, guiding her arm to dangle over the side of the table. Sliding her hand down her arm, she hooked a pinky around Azzi’s.

I’m here, Paige told her without a word.

They stayed like that for the next hour, Paige reading in one hand, the other preoccupied with Azzi’s. It made Azzi feel warm and loved, and most of all it made Azzi feel.

She was so grateful for Paige.

————————————————————————

In the next few weeks, Azzi found herself in the gym late one night.

Her doctor had cleared her for upper body workouts but told her to be cautious to not cause unneeded stress on her foot fracture. So, she was lifting dumbbells heavier than normal over her head in an Arnold press.

She watched herself as her biceps flexed in the mirror, a trickle of sweat beginning to fall down her forehead. She felt locked in; she felt in control here.

“Seven,” she huffed, lifting the dumbbell. Another rep. She needed one more.

“C’mon,” she said to herself. The weight was starting to feel too heavy, her muscles tingling. She stared at herself, stared at her foot in its boot.

She exhaled, lifting the weights again. “Eight,” she strained, letting the weights fall to the floor as she finished the set.

Tired now, she let her forearms fall to her knees, head coming down to stare at the floor. Her mind was blank as she breathed.

She heard a soft thud to her right and looked up. Paige stood in the doorway of the gym, her gym bag on the floor next to her. She leaned against the door frame casually, hands in her sweatpants pockets.

“Sup,” Azzi said, trying to sound light.

Paige looked her up and down before replying. “Tryna get a lift in before break,” she said nonchalantly, tugging her sweatshirt over her head. The action was swift, but Azzi caught a glimpse of her pale torso as Paige’s shirt lifted. Azzi felt her eyes linger there for a beat too long.

Azzi leaned back in the bench and wiped her brow. “Oh yeah?” She took a swig of her water bottle. Paige was not a fan of mandatory lift; Azzi knew she’d rather shoot around.

“Yeah,” Paige said as she sat down on the bench next to Azzi’s, putting down the same weight on the floor Azzi was just lifting. Azzi quirked a brow as she stared at the weights, never seeing Paige lift that much.

“Three sets, eight reps?” Paige asked, preparing the weights on her knees. Azzi nodded, doing the same. They turned, staring at the other in the mirror for a moment. Azzi knew what Paige was doing – they had each other’s locations, and she wasn’t letting her be alone.

Azzi gave her a small smile through the mirror. Paige smiled back.

————————————————————————

Winter break came faster for the pair than anticipated. Being in-season now, their schedules were packed and before they knew it, they were back in Minnesota for the holidays for a brief stint with their families.

Paige sat at Azzi’s grandparents’ dining table, her and Azzi playing a game of Jenga with Azzi’s family. The girls had their thighs pressed against the other, forearms brushing as they played. Paige found herself ducking to hear Azzi speak even though they were close and it was, technically, highly unnecessary.

“Get the middle one,” Azzi told her.

Paige shook her head. “Do you have eyes? It’s going to make the whole thing fall.”

Azzi rolled her eyes, flicking Paige’s temple, “I’m trying to help you.”

“You’re praying on my downfall.”

“Drama Queen.”

They locked eyes for a moment, an intimate smile blooming between them. Paige felt her heartbeat pick up and her body get warm.

Paige’s last few weeks had been interesting, to say the least. What with her sudden clarity on her feelings for Azzi, Azzi’s foot injury, and the season starting, her emotions felt jumbled. She wanted to dissect her feelings and every possible interaction she had ever had with Azzi that had led them to where they are now, but she also had to be there for her best friend, as well as her teammates. To say her realization for her feelings for Azzi came at inopportune timing would be an understatement.

So, she settled, if it could be called that. She settled for fleeting glances at Azzi, sometimes full-on stares, small touches to ground herself, being near her whenever she could. Because realizing she had feelings for her best friend made something snap within her; she suddenly could not get enough of Azzi Fudd, and it was killing her slowly to pretend otherwise.

It was hard to navigate, if she were honest with herself. Does she tell Azzi? If she did, how would she react? The two had been so close for so long, lines had been blurred by what was normal and slightly not normal for friends to act around each other a long time ago. Paige had no idea if Azzi reciprocated how she felt.

And if she didn’t feel the same? Paige contemplated nose diving off the nearest cliff.

And if Azzi ended up with someone else, ever? Paige would nose dive off the same cliff, with a weighted vest.

These thoughts kept her up at night, her jaw clenching and unclenching like clockwork. She had no one to talk to about any of it because it involved the one person she confided in for everything, leaving her lost and frustrated.

So, yes, Paige settled. She settled with sitting so close to Azzi at her grandparents’ dining table she could feel every breath Azzi took, every laugh that shook her, and every sigh that escaped her.

Being near Azzi was a drug to her, and she was worried she’d never get her fix.

“It’s your turn,” Azzi nudged her arm, “Pay attention.”

Right, Paige thought. Pay attention.

Paige turned to the stacked pieces, a hush falling over the family as she stood slightly and slowly pulled the piece Azzi told her to grab earlier. Apparently, she did so unsteadily, because the stack fell apart, splaying out across the table. Paige clicked her tongue and gave Azzi a look as the family let out a chorus of laughs and whoops in the finality of the game.

“Nice effort, PB. Stick to basketball maybe,” Azzi’s dad chuckled. Paige rolled her eyes.

“Look what you made me do,” Paige said hushed in Azzi’s ear. The younger girl let out an involuntary shudder.

“Me?” Azzi laughed, “I gave a suggestion, and you acted on it – not my fault.”

“Right.” Paige leaned back in her chair, throwing an arm around Azzi’s chair, spreading her legs so their knees lightly touched.

Azzi felt her eyes wander over Paige. She took in her confident position, her strong jaw, her pretty bare face. Pretty, Azzi got stuck on that word. So pretty.

Azzi let herself register for a moment that she had always thought Paige was really pretty. And confident. And funny.

She blinked.

“You look like you just ate a lemon,” Paige leaned over and said in her ear.

Azzi scrunched her face at her, trying to ignore the blush she felt creeping up on her cheeks.

“You guys think it’ll be a good season?” Azzi’s grandfather asked the two girls.

They both nodded enthusiastically. Had they been asked this a few weeks ago when Azzi was first injured, the answer wouldn’t have been as clear. Now that Azzi had been on the mend and they knew her clearance was inevitable, the excitement they felt was palpable.

“Natty is in our future,” Paige said with a grin. “Going to get my sharp shooter back and we’ll be stacked.” She let her arm drop across Azzi’s shoulder, tugging her closer.

Azzi felt warmth in her chest at the confidence Paige had in her, and something else. My sharp shooter – Azzi thought it sounded nice.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Azzi’s grandfather smiled, clapping his hands.

“Paige is going to terrorize Geno all the way to a national title,” Azzi joked, earning a side smirk from Paige.

“Obviously.”

————————————————————————

The next night was Christmas Eve.

Paige, Azzi, and Paige’s little brother Drew sat far too close together on Paige’s living room couch as they watched Elf, their legs kicked up on the coffee table. A large Christmas tree stood in the corner of the room, twinkling red and green warmly as the only source of light apart from the TV that played.

Paige’s family’s Christmas tree was not aesthetically decorated like some would prefer, but with memorabilia and trinkets the family had collected over time. Azzi loved it, and it reminded her of her own family tree. Being in Paige’s family home now, she felt at home herself and fondly reflected on how similar her and Paige truly were.

Drew sat smushed between the two girls, his head drooping on Paige’s chest, him being too small to reach her shoulder. Paige looked down at her younger brother and smiled, “Tired, man?”

Drew nodded sleepily, his eyes already closed. Paige looked over at Azzi, who was watching Drew with a tender smile on her face. Paige wished she could commit this moment to memory; the way Azzi looked so soft and comfortable in her Christmas pajamas, the way she stared at Drew adoringly, the way the Christmas tree glowed behind Azzi, the way all Paige wanted to do was take Drew to bed and kiss her best friend.

Paige’s jaw clenched. She cleared her throat.

“Alright buddy,” she said as she scooped Drew up, letting his chin rest on her shoulder, his arms flopping as he let himself become dead weight against his older sister. She held the back of his head and turned to Azzi, “Be right back.”

Azzi watched as Paige left with her brother, the sight of her carrying him so heartwarming she wanted to hold a hand to her chest. It was almost overwhelming, the feeling.

So, she stood up, walking over to the Christmas tree and beginning to trace a light finger over the “ornaments”. A photo of Paige chewing her Team USA medallion. A note from Drew scribbled messily, telling his parents he loved them. A candy cane bracelet Paige had made for her dad in the fifth grade.

She rested on a hanging photo of her and Paige, feeling touched to be included on the family tree. The picture was of them after they had gotten back from USA basketball camp; they’d just landed in the airport after discovering they were both headed back to Minnesota, and Paige had whipped out her phone to take a selfie with her new friend. They had smiled into the camera, their temples touching, an unbreakable bond already forming. Looking at the photo now, Azzi couldn’t help smiling to herself.

She heard Paige enter the room again, coming up behind her. Paige’s chest ghosting over her back. “He’s a menace,” Paige mumbled over Azzi’s shoulder, “Refused to brush his teeth until I threatened to tell dad.”

Azzi chuckled without taking her eyes off the picture she held. She held it higher for Paige to look with her.

“We were babies,” Azzi said softly.

Paige smiled and her eyes bounced between the photo and Azzi’s profile. “Babies,” she agreed quietly.

Azzi turned her head slightly and her and Paige seemed stuck staring at each other; caught in a silence neither was ready to break. She watched as Paige’s eyes softened, and she thought she’d never seen her look at her like this, and then about how good it felt. Good in a way she wasn’t used to, and she found her mouth going dry. Was she getting closer to Paige’s face?

Azzi sharply turned her head, focusing back on the tree, staring at anything other than Paige. She felt her grip tighten on the picture in her hand.

“Yeah,” she said, voice cracking slightly, “Can’t believe you roped me into becoming best friends.” She let out a weak laugh.

Paige was quiet for a moment, watching her. She raised her hand as if to touch Azzi’s back, but thought against it, letting her arm drop. She exhaled, closing her eyes. “Yeah,” she said, “Five years later, who would’ve thought.”

Azzi turned then, pointing a finger in Paige’s face, attempting to look stern, “Don’t open my present until tomorrow morning, I mean it.”

Paige smiled at her then, tilting her head, hands finding themselves in her pockets as she rocked a little on her heels, “Fine, but you can’t either. I mean it.”

When the next morning rolled around and Paige opened the gift under her tree that Azzi had left wrapped for her, she found herself smiling stupidly at the Love & Basketball movie poster she’d been eyeing online to hang in her room back at school. New crocs with purple accessories to go with her other ones, and a pajama set so they could match together. Paige could laugh at how well Azzi knew her. She could also punch a wall at how badly she wanted to hold her.

And when Azzi opened Paige’s gift to her, her heart slightly faltered. Paige had addressed it to “My Sharp Shooter” and wrapped up an assortment of Azzi’s favorite snacks she ate when she first got injured all those years ago, along with about 5 new books and trinkets to adorn on her car keys and litter around her room. Sifting through the box she found a note that read in Paige’s handwriting “Thinking of you always”.

Azzi thought then, she’d never met anyone who cared for and knew her in the way Paige did. Her heart felt about ten sizes too big for her chest, and she had to excuse herself from her family to collect herself. She thought maybe she was coming down with a fever.

Because the way she was starting to feel about Paige was not how people feel about their best friend. And it terrified her.

#pazzi #pazzi fics #azzi fudd #paige bueckers #paige x azzi #uconn wbb #wlw #Spotify

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gainerstories · 4 months ago

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Here's my story (with all its ups and downs). I hope you enjoy it.

I've been interested in a gaining ever since that switch got flipped on in puberty, but I never thought I would properly go for it. I was unintentionally a chubby (and then a fat) kid and teenager before becoming anorexic in late high school and slimming down to around 67kg. At 6'3" I was very skinny. Too skinny. Even with my ups and downs my perception of myself (prior to COVID) was that I wasn't a gainer. I was an encourager/admirer. I enjoyed watching others grow, but not myself.

In the few years after high school I slowly returned to a healthy size. I started lifting weights and my body settled in the 70s. In my early 20s I had my first foray into intentional gaining: I experimented with a bit of a bulk. Why not, right? This was also around the time I first joined Grommr and I got a little excited. It was a dirty bulk, no question about it. I'd go to the gym and pick up burgers on the way home. I bought mass gainer for protein shakes that I'd chug after working out. Over the next 18 months I beefed (and porked) up to around 95 kilos. I wasn't crazy muscular or anything but I had arms and shoulders for the first time and I felt good, but my belly and lovehandles plumped up a bit too. I was exploring. It didn't last, though. Life got in the way: by then I was in the process of finishing uni and starting my first proper job in my chosen field (a stressful and time-consuming endeavour), and I moved in with some friends who didn't eat much and I found myself being self-conscious about being too much of a glutton around them. I was working out still, and all these factors combined saw me slim down to a lean 80kg by age 25. Even after I got my my own place I stayed at that size for years: it became my default. I was tall and slender (though I still had stubborn lovehandles). I wore size 32s and size smalls and mediums. I was strictly an encourager/admirer. I knew who I was, and thought it would be that way forever.

Then I turned 30. After all those years I got a little bored at the gym, going a few times a week and my body staying at the same old 80kg. I decided I might try my hand at bulking up again. Nothing crazy, but maybe lifting more and eating more, and seeing if I could do something different, and get some bigger arms. Over several months I thickened up a little to around 87kg. I was getting stronger, but the growth wasn't too drastic. I wasn't fat, or really muscular, more I was just a little thicker and maybe had a bit of a pot-belly. I was in size 32s and 34s, and wearing mediums, but I felt a little self-conscious in them with my new softness. I wasn't looking to grow more, but this is the state I was in when COVID found me.

When social distancing came in I found I took to it like a cheese to a burger. I was always a bit of a homebody so staying home in my little unit all the time didn't bother me. I was incredibly fortunate that I could work from home and that my job was not terribly impacted by things. But all of a sudden the gym (which had been part of my life for a decade) was out. They were still open, but in the circumstances it just seemed like too much of a risk. I tried doing some home workouts for a bit, but I didn't have the equipment or space. Add to this a tiny bit of the medieval "eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we may die" and I started to indulge my hungrier urges. It wasn't something I set out to do. Not at first. But as the months wore on I was eating more snacks just to have something to do, and ordering more home delivery to avoid going out. I got up to 91kg, by which time things had settled into a new normal. The big leap came in mid-2021. By then I'd started being more active again and got down to around 86kg. Then some COVID cases meant we went into full lockdown for a week. In that week is when, pretty much on a whim, the gainer-brain finally properly flipped on and I made the choice: I was going to grow. All the things that had accrued since COVID were back: the excess snacking, the no exercise, the sheer hunger. I was going to finally let go and see where it took me. I would do fast food binges on the regular. My meal of choice was two large double quarter pounder meals and two cheeseburgers. Other times I would get multiple burgers and large chips from KFC, or pizza meal deals with 4 pizzas. Every time I'd stuff myself like that I felt like such a fatboy, and it was incredible.

By the end of 2021 I was a chubby 100kg. My lovehandles broadened, my belly grew softer and jigglier, and my thighs thickened. I'd moved up to size 36, and size large across the board. I kept going, eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. The following year I worked almost exclusively from home and ended 2022 a bit over 110kg and was firmly in size 38s and XLs. After years of a relatively narrow face it was now plumping up with a second chin. I've always kept a beard, though, so I was becoming more and more bearish. It was around this time people definitely started to notice (and to make clear that they noticed). The comments rolled in: "Are you eating properly?" "Are you still exercising?" My brother told me straight to my face I had gotten fat. I saw the swift, glancing stares at my body when people were talking to me (especially ones I hadn'tseen in a while). I was self-conscious, but when I was at home gorging myself I didn't care.

Another year of this lifestyle went by and at the end of 2023 I was 120kg: 1.5 times the man I was at what I call my starting weight of 80kg. My chest and belly filled out more and I've become an unmistakably fat man. In the year since then I've hit a bit of a plateau, and I'm currently (at the start of 2025) around 123kg. I still have some size 38s but they're too tight to be comfortable and it's a struggle to get them on. I'm much more comfortable in 40s, but their days are definitely numbered. I generally wear 2XLs (it depends on the brand and the type of clothing: a 2XL button down shirt blatently strains against my large, blubbery belly so for work I need 3XLs). Tshirts are easier, but I need to make sure I get long tees otherwise my belly peeks out. There's no hiding how fat I am now. My gut and lovehandles are prominent in everything I wear, even (perhaps especially) in baggy clothes. My thighs rub so I have a bit of a rolling gait when I walk. I'm nowhere near as fit as I used to be. My belt buckle digs into my overhang when I sit down for too long. It's hard to find clothes that fit me well, and I have boxes and boxes of old clothes and suits that have no chance of ever fitting me again. Sometimes I go through them and try them on. It really drives home just how much I've transformed myself.

After just a few years here I am: the biggest, fattest man I've ever been, trying to grow bigger (I'm literally drinking a gainer shake while I write this). Sometimes I wonder what would have happened without COVID, and whether I would have chosen a different path. But we're here now so I am what I am: a big, growing man, and it's wonderful.

Wow, nothing like an admirer turned absolute fat ass gainer. All thanks to the pandemic!

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pinkpigtailsprincess · 1 year ago

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𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Summer Glow up: creating new habits 🎀⭐️ *࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ!

Hi Dolls!! Welcome Back 2 Dollies 2 Months of Summer Glow Up !! 🎀⭐️ Today im gonna talk all about implementing brand new habits in my life !!

> Hobbies !! 🎀

> Academics !! 📒

> Beauty Care !! 🧖‍♀️

> Scheduling !! ☀️

> Taking Baby Steps !! 🛼

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Hobbies!! 🎀

…: This Summer I Plan on Taking up Some brand New Hobbies to keep my self busy and learn about brand new things bc everyday is useful!! and so i can use my time more wisely some hobbies i have in mind are…

- Yoga

- Painting

- Creative Writing

- Learning Japanese + Spanish

- Reading

- Puzzles!

- Blogging

- Learning To Code

- Doll Collecting

- Book Collecting

- Sewing + Crocheting

- Digital Art

- Piano

and obvii im already a blogger but i still added it anyways i will watching videos on how to get into these hobbies and videos on learning Spanish and more Japanese, also fun fact i’ve actually been studying Japanese sine 2021 but i stopped bc it got to hard but im starting back up!! anyways, after i watch the videos im gonna set up a financial list bc i have the fund all of these but its okay bc i can easily get money!! 🎀

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Academics !! 🎀

More Goals of mine are to raise my grades in an academic space bc i do have decent grades but i wanna aim higher and have PERFECT Grades so in turn that means i must study more and have more discipline and not so irresponsible with my time!! and i also wanna study subjects outside of school bc its always good to learn something new!! now for learning tips so far i have..

- Flash Cards

- Practice Methods

- Teaching Someone Else

- Trying to explain it to a 5 yr old

- Study a Week Before

- watch ted talks on topics

- SLEEP

- write out notes

Now i Also Have a list of subjects i want to learn about!!

- drawing facial expressions + bodies

- Sewing Stiches + How to Hem and Crochet

- How 2 Draw Bodies + Poses

- Full Anatomy 4 Both Genders

- Japanese + Spanish + French + ASL

- Color Theory

- Learning Cursive + Improving Handwriting

- Expanding Vocabulary

- Religious Cults

- Case and Law

- Poison and Toxicology

- Astronomy

- Medical Surgical Instruments

- Matriarchal Societies

- Socialism Societies

Now i definitely won’t be able to do all of this all at once bc it would definitely we too stressful so im gonna choose as least 2-3 to start with and study them and just learn! 🎀🧁

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Beauty Care !! 🐬

📧: Now I already have my regular beauty care regime skin,hair,eyebrows,eyelashes etc. but im also more focused on getting weekly treatments & weekly beauty care habits like…

- Nails

- Hair

- Eyelashes

- Face Mask

- Hand + Foot Mask

And i wanna try and find people in my city that can do this especially for nails bc i would go to the nail salon but i feel like they won’t be able to do it exactly how i want it to be !!!

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Scheduling !! ⭐️

Now That im gonna be so busy i need to make sure i also stay organized with my time so it doesn’t lead to stress so ill have my regular school classes on my regular schedule then making dedicated hours to studying Things i wanna learn about + Language Learning!

My Workouts are always early morning before school in the evening hours before i got to bed so i won’t have to worry about that affecting my academics. With my Hobbies i feel like only some of them really need scheduling so ill also make time dedicated to those as well !!!!

Beauty Maintenance will probably always be on weekends for the stuff that weekly/bi weekly like face masks,manipedis,hair etc!!

and last but definitely not least!!

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Taking Baby Steps !! ⭐️

This whole process is still all new too me so i’ll definitely only be doing a little at a time and working my way up and i get more familiar with the change in my daily life and i won’t pressure my self to complete everything extremely quickly and just take my time with everything! bye bye dolls tysm 4 keeping up with me while doing this kisses 4 all of u!!! 🎀⭐️

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bcacstuff · 2 months ago

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Timeline 15 - December 2024 - February 2025

For completeness and to consult when there’s discussion about his whereabouts. In addition to the previous timelines.

Timeline 15 covers 2 December 2024 - 16 February 2025

For previous dates see timeline 14

On 3 December he meets Jake Norton in Kathmandu and starts his journey to Everest by flying to Kathmandu and per helicopter to Chheskam. Jake Norton posts some pics and info as well. The adventure involves a new trekking route, the Mahakulung Muddhi-Kongma Dingma Trail, which gets inaugurated in Chheskam before they take off on 6 December 2024. Off the grid for a week

After 10 days in no-mans-land, the first glimpse we get to see is posted on 16 December, a video by himself and a pic by Jake Norton, who also gives some more clues about the trail they did and further plans.

Many more pics and videos from the travelers are posted, Sam shares a 4 parts post of the journey, Jhanak shares beautiful pictures and Jake wrote on his blog and shared pics , another blog on 30 December and a third one in January. On 22 December the hotel they stayed also shared 2 videos.

Sam didn't share anything for the holidays, but shared some footage from his ski vacation in Andermatt, Switzerland on 5 January 2025.

On 12 January a picture is posted showing him at Romeo's in NYC. He's in NYC for the TCND promo.

On 13 January he's guest at the NBS Today show

15 January he's taping the Tonight show with Fallon in the afternoon and in the evening HSC with Josh. Several Pics and videos. (more in archive).

On 17 January he's scheduled taping the Kelly Clarkson show which airs on 27 January. (more in archive)

In between he did several promo videos for TCND (US release) and OL finale S7B. All from his hotel on zoom or in person. (more in archive*)

On Saturday 18 January he is live on IG for MPC

The next day Sunday 19 January he runs in the Hudson River Park near Pier 46

On 20 and 21 January we learn he's in Williamsburg at Bar Madonna doing a photo/video shoot for his new book The Cocktail Diaries, where he also records the announcement for another US SS tour.

On 22 January he's seen walking in Soho NYC heading to the gym for a workout

On Burn's Night he's at O'Hara's pub& restaurant, he has a visitor as company all week with whom he explores NYC and several touristic places.

On 8 February he's first signing some bottles at Broadway Spirits in NYC, and later on the 'winter tour' starts in Westbury, NYC. Many fan pics, videos (more in archive*)

The same night they apparently dined at Passerine and took a walk in the snow having fun.

Next up is Louisville KY, 11 February, where he took a walk (or run) in the morning or the day before, close to the hotel he's staying. The same procedure of queuing up hours before he arrives and the fan pics of the bottle signing. Working out the next day in the hotel gym

14 February is Chicago's turn, queuing up in the middle of the freezing night for a 5 sec. fan pic and hoping to gift him something he'll keep. And another snowball battle in the evening

Time for some better weather in Miami and a motorbike trip to the Keys on 16 February. Then to arrive the next day for the signings as well on mortorbike, where people queued up 24+ hours ahead. Welcomed by bagpipes he parades into the shop for the fanpics.

Note: From some events there are more posts and pics to be found in my archive, you can filter on the according month

Other timelines:

Pre Hawaii timeline

Timeline 1 August 2020 Timeline 2 September 2021 Timeline 3 February 2022 Timeline 4 August 2022 Timeline 5 October 2022 Timeline 6 January 2023 Timeline 7 April 2023 Timeline 8 June 2023 Timeline 9 August 2023 Timeline 10 October 2023 Timeline 11 December 2023 Timeline 12 March 2024 Timeline 13 July 2024 Timeline 14 October 2024

#timeline #december 2024 #january 2025 #february 2025

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cbedfordart · 6 months ago

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First of all!! Holy guacamole the music for SWC is phenomenal!!! I have some of the songs on my gym playlist they’re perfect for when I workout!!

Secondiy, how long did it take you to make SWC? After playing it I started thinking about making my own game but was curious how the process went for a two person team like yours

Gosh I miss going to the gym ;;! But thank you! In terms of time, we start the project at the end of 2020, but most of the development was between 2022 and the 2024 release. We had full time work still while tinkering away in 2020 - but when we signed with the publisher which allowed us to work on it full time, we were able to expand what the game could be and really focus on it - it would have been a completely different experience had we stayed working with other jobs, that much I'm certain. The process was difficult, and I think especially trying to make something this size our first time around for a commercial project. We did do some game jams in 2021, but that's a different thing all together. They are fun and absolutely worth while to experience a bitesize version of how it feels to finish something, and it may also be a good indicator to see where you might struggle if things become stressful during production (do you try to work till 4 am? Do you avoid the project all together and abandon it? how would you handle people who suddenly can't commit to the project anymore? etc) It's hard work, like, this is the hardest I ever worked on anything in my life - and that's because I really cared about it! But there's so many interconnecting parts, there's so many opportunity for things to break, and when it's all said and done, you have to go through the meat grinder of seeing people struggle with what you've made, dislike parts of it, even if they love it overall that's still hard to see. When your game goes out there, people don't see the developer who's worked 60 work weeks and ate one meal a day in the last three weeks because they didn't have time to eat just to get it done. We are very grateful that people enjoy the game, and I really worry what my mental state would be if the game wasn't received how it has been. Make your own game, but do not make something the size of SWC lol. Not for your first time. And be very realistic about how long it will take, and be extremely realistic about how much work needs to be done. I could write an entire dissertation about what I've learned, what I'd do differently and the whole experience itself - but I can't do that here lol. There are more tools and resources to be able to just get up and make a game - I want you to read this and feel encouraged and feel a fire in your heart burn to make the thing you want to make, but I want you to know it is easy to burn yourself and you must take care of yourself, and you must look out for your health. After the release I was very much thinking "Could I do this again? I don't think I could ever do this again" But there's the drive to want to create and it is hard to extinguish. I hear a few seconds of the Space Channel 5 soundtrack and I'm ready to throw myself to the wolves of gamedev all over again. There are too many worlds in the mind that I must create so that others can occupy them! I must share these worlds, it would be selfish of me not to! So we must be sure to take care of ourselves. If you ever make that game, I wanna see it!!!!

#asks #indiedev #next time i'm going to make sure I party way more lmao

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toasttt11 · 5 months ago

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left behind

September 4, 2021

Mary let out a long sigh as she tried to pack up her bag as quickly as possible, she just finished her second practice with her new team in Michigan and she hated it.

Mary was playing without Will for the first time as he joined the NTDP this season and she couldn’t join until next season meaning she would be playing without Will for the first time ever.

Her teammates were already horrible, she’s gotten use to the chirps about her being a girl but it was always harder when it was her own team and they were already trying to not pass to her on the ice, tripping her when ever she was near them and and slamming her into the boards whenever they wanted.

It wasn’t just a couple of the boys, it was every single one of them and she hated it. The season hasn’t even started yet and she was counting down the days she would be done with this team, the first time she isn’t looking forward to play hockey.

On top of that she had just moved from Boston the one home she has ever known to Michigan and only her Mom and Will came with meaning Grace and her Dad were still back in Boston and they have only been here for a week but she misses them so much, it’s the longest she ever been without seeing the two.

Mary held back a wince as one of the boys shoulder checked her as she tried to get out of the locker room and she avoided one of the boys legs so she didn’t trip and she let out a small sigh of relief as she got out of the locker room and she hurried outside the rink to her Mom’s car and seeing Will in the front seat.

Mary hurried into the back seat tossing her bag down and she restarted undoing her bubble braids.

“How was practice?” Will immediately turned around in the front seat asking his sister, he had also just finished his second practice with his new team.

“Fine.” Mary mumbled and grabbed her headphones not really wanting to talk about her how horrible her team was, she put her headphones on and looked out the window.

Will frowned at her short answer but nodded accepting she didn’t want to talk right now and turned back around.

Colleen drove them back to their new house in Michigan where it was pretty quiet with his the three of them but with one of Will’s teammates going to live with them now and she knew Ryan would be over a lot it wouldn’t be so quiet.

Mary got out of the car first and grabbed her bag hurrying into the house and up the stairs to her new room and let out a long sigh heading to the bathroom wanting a long shower.

Mary headed into the shower and took a long warm shower relaxing and washing her long blonde wavy hair before she got out and tossing a pair of black workout shorts and purple workout tank top and she brushed out her hair letting it stay down as it started to wave immediately.

Mary heard her name being called and she tossed her dirty clothes into her hamper and headed down the stairs and saw Will chatting with a boy who had brown curly hair and her mom talking to another women who is most likely the boys mom.

“Gabe this is my sister, Mary.” Will proudly introduced his sister tossing a gentle arm around her shoulder as she walker over to them.

“Hi!” Gabe smiled sweetly and titled his head slightly making his curls bounce as he held out his hand for Mary to shake.

“Hi.” Mary smiled slightly back and shook his hand softly.

Mary watched as Will and Gabe started talking and she noticed Gabe was a bit quieter, something she liked and she noticed the accent Gabe had.

Gabe was going to be living with Mary and Will during the season as his family wasn’t staying in Michigan only he was.

Mary thought she could have a worst boy livings with them and she thinks she will like having Gabe better than anyone else besides Ryan.

Mary and Will headed to the living room after they showed Gabe his room and now Gabe was saying bye to his mom.

Gabe let out a small sigh as he walked into the living room after saying goodbye to his mom and plopped down on the couch.

Gabe smiled slightly as Will tossed his a controller and they started playing videos games as Mary opened up her book and started reading.

The three were all focused on what they were all doing they didn’t hear Colleen let in Ryan.

“Hello! The favorite is here!” Ryan cheered as he walked into the room his voice not to loud knowing Mary was in the room.

Ryan immediately sat down at the empty spot next to Mary as she looked up and gave him a smile. His eyes immediately were drawn to her having not seen her for a couple weeks, “Hi Ellie Belly.” Ryan whispered quietly giving her his Mary smile.

“Hi.” Mary whispered back softly before Will grabbed Ryan’s attention and Gabe raised an eyebrow at Ryan but shook his head ignoring his thoughts for now.

Mary watched how well Gabe, Ryan and Will all fit together already and Ryan and Will had only met Gabe officially recently. They are already on a line together and it’s weird to Mary. She’s grown up playing on a line with Ryan and Will and now she’s not playing with them at all anymore and Gabe is playing in her spot on their line.

It is hard for her to watch as Ryan and Will continued to move forward and she was still stuck behind.

Mary did not even know if she would ever play with Ryan and Will again.

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mountainstogo · 9 months ago

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So I’ve gained a bit of weight. The 1st photo is from 2021 and the 2nd is from today

I went from 160ish to 125lbs in one year (2020-2021) and then was able to sort of fluctuate between 120-135 from 2021 till like March of this year. Although even before March it’s been awhile since I was under 130..

Unfortunately I’m now at 140lbs. Im still happy with how I look and I look so much different than the last time I was 140 thanks to all the muscle mass I’ve put on. But I’m disappointed this weight gain happened like 5months before my wedding. If there’s one time in my whole life I’d really like a 6pack it’d probably be during my beach destination wedding

But I’m not discouraged! I still have until February, and the holidays aren’t an easy time to lose weight but I think I can get back there again. Part of the problem has been field season, I haven’t been able to maintain a routine in 2years, but especially these last 8months. I’m finally home now with no travel planned until the wedding so that should help.

I think I’ve also sort of plateaud with my workouts. I love working out at home but I’m limited with how much weight i can use and I’ve been just doing the same workouts since 2020

So, my plan to get back to 125-130lbs by February:

- get back to my routine of working out 5x a week

- clean up my diet. More protein, less processed foods. Find ‘healthy’ dessert options for the nightly sweet cravings

- more cardio! Get back to running! I haven’t gone trail running in ages and I used to love that. Get on the bike more too

- switch up the workouts. I’m doing a consultation with a personal trainer this afternoon. Not sure i can afford this gym but I can try for like a month or so. Or find another trainer. Or try Pilates or orange theory for a bit. Just try new things

- track my progress and celebrate the wins. Get back into habit tracking and set monthly goals

Wish me luck. I want this to be difficult, I want this to be intense. I want to come out the other side with more discipline and knowledge of nutrition/exercise/how to care for my body. And I want to be proud. I want to wear a bikini in February in front of like every person I know and be confident and proud that I worked hard for this body

#personal #progress #i guess i have to start planning a wedding now

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everythingisliminal · 1 year ago

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Day 20 of 75 Hard

When I complete today, it'll be the furthest I've ever been in this challenge (made it through day 10 then day 19 in 2021).

The journey so far:

Two 45+ minute workouts, 3+ hours apart, at least one of which must be outside. Because I work 10 hour days in wetland restoration navigating mucky, watery, and steep terrain with ~40lbs on my back, I count those 4 workdays as my outdoor workout. Yes it's already part of my routine, but I wasn't going to not do this challenge just because I'm not fitting another workout in before work.

My other outdoor workouts are all walking and/or running around the neighborhood or on trails. My indoor workouts are push, pull, and indoor cycling days with my buddy, bowling with my husband, and following walk/dance/box/lift/yoga vids at home.

Saturdays are wild because I need to get a walk/run in, then go straight to cycling, and then 3 hours later bowl bc my afternoons are booked and I have to get that outdoor workout in but 3 hours away from another workout. Making it work, though!

I did put together an idealized workout schedule to train for the 5 mile trail run my buddy and I signed up for 2 weekends after we complete 75 Hard. Already had to adjust because I twisted my ankle yesterday, so I used that opportunity to try Qigong (followed by 45 min yoga). We'll see if I should stick with walking today or if I can throw in a few 3-4 minute runs.

Honestly, the toughest part of this rule is the scheduling and getting started. I really enjoy the physical activity when I'm in the flow of it.

Take a progress picture. This has been beneficial for me in a way I couldn't predict. The mirror has always surprised me, like "oh, that's what I look like?" It always shows me as curvier, less athletic than I picture myself. Might stem from a grey area of body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria. It's one of the things I'm talking with my therapist about.

But now that I'm taking a picture of my body every day, I'm realizing that what I'm seeing in the mirror looks better than what I'm seeing in the photo, giving an element of valuing what I see in the mirror. Like, I can more positively accept that that's me. So that's cool.

10 pages of reading a "think about your life" nonfiction book. I read The Book on Mental Toughness, which the creator of 75 Hard wrote. 3 of 5 stars. I might write an extended review, but a lot of the book was like watching a car crash. Yeah, the author's mentally tough, but he's not very well read sociologically. It'll be a tougher read for anyone who's nonbinary, living with intergenerational trauma, or can't stand editing/formatting issues. But there was some insightful info about 75 Hard and the continued LIVEHARD program, and I really benefited from the chapter on drinking water.

Currently reading Weave the Liminal: Living Modern Traditional Witchcraft, which I'm fully enjoying.

Books I'm considering reading next are Rest is Resistance: Free Yourself from Grind Culture and Reclaim Your Life / How to Make Friends & Influence People / The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius / Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good / and Keeping It Living: Traditions of Plant Use and Cultivation on the Northwest Coast of North America.

If anyone has a recommendation for books on Inanna, Ishtar, Astarte, or Aphrodite/Aphroditus, I'm looking to learn more about their part in trans history.

Drink 1 gallon of water. I have to stick with a 90oz goal. I've tried multiple times in the past to drink a gallon a day and always wound up with a horribly sore throat after a few days. Last time, it made me sick for 2 weeks. So 90oz of unflavored water is definitely way more than I'd drink normally (32oz on a good day) but without dipping back into unhealthy territory. There are some days that I can drink more (allowing me to get in some Gatorade, preworkout, or BCAAs), but I also have a steady supply of good cough drops at hand.

I try to get in 32oz before lunch, another 32oz by 5pm, and 26oz+ before sleepy time.

Follow a diet. No cheat meals or alcohol. I'm focused on getting 100+ grams of protein a day (macro balancing and calorie deficit are secondary but seem to be happening naturally). I've also cut out chocolate (this is how I know I mean business), sugary drinks, gluten, and microwavable mac n' cheese type meals.

This is really forcing me to get my act together when it comes to planning/prepping. No more going to the coffee stand for a burrito and red bull before work. I have to either cook breakfast or nom on a protein bar. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and at least 2 snacks all have to be protein-centric for me to meet my goal. It's wild to think of how little protein I must have been getting. But now I'm full, and then I'm hungry! There's no middle ground of kinda-hungry filled with chips and milk teas. All this meal prepping and forcing myself to eat well for 75 days will probably be one of the most beneficial things I've ever done for myself.

Tangentially, cutting out chocolate meant cutting out my herbal calm chocolate supplements I always had at night to help myself wind down. Now I have to get off my phone earlier and stretch/meditate/read to get myself prepped for bed. It's good stuff.

Also, I don't drink alcohol, so there's no challenge for me there.

Overall: I'm so glad I'm doing this. This is helping me live my life the way I actually want to live it. I'm developing daily discipline and gaining insights into myself. I've lost 6lbs, my clothes fit better, and I can navigate terrain more easily. I'm enjoying trails in my free time. I was wishy-washy about my goals when I tried 75 Soft a couple months ago, and so didn't stick with them. With 75 Hard, my commitment is unquestionable. This is what my life looks like for the next 56 days. Afterward, I'll take what I like and ditch anything I don't.

If you're considering 75 Hard yourself, do make a game plan. Figure out what your diet is going to be and shop for it. Know how you'll track your water. Schedule a week or two of workouts that help you fulfill a goal (finding out what's fun for you, increasing strength/flexibility/speed, getting outside, hanging out with someone, whatever). Get a book. Give yourself this Day 0 to set yourself up for success.

Then START :D

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bbgem329 · 2 years ago

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Things Are Never As They Seem—Chapter Twenty Two

Pairings—Sebastian Stan x Actress!Reader, Sebastian Stan x OFC (PR relationship)

Summary

You and Sebastian Stan have been dating privately for over two years. Everything is perfect until he is coerced into a PR relationship when he signed with a new agency to advance his career. Trouble ensues…

Warnings

MINORS DNI! 18++. Language. Angst. Fluff. Mentions of injuries. Hollywood sucks. Spoiled, rich bitches. Bullying. Did I miss anything?

Masterlist

—————

April 18, 2021

You waited, breath caught in your throat for the sound of the door closing.

Two pairs of heavy steps, one dragging more than the other.

A few shared words, both voices snippy and short.

Then finally the slam of the door.

You relaxed back into the door, suddenly able to breathe again.

For the past eleven days, you’d been living like this. In a space that constantly felt like you could cut the tension with a fucking butter knife. You knew it would be bad but never could you have prepared for just how hard it would be to be around Catalina.

Hate really was a strong word… But you could officially say you meant it now when you said you hated her.

You scrubbed a hand over your face, eye catching on the pup sitting at your feet.

“What?” You huffed, throwing your arms out to the side, “Can you really blame me?”

Bentley simply titled his head and made a little huffing sound but you got what he was putting down.

Come on, mom! I gotta pee, quit being dramatic!

“You’re right.” You pulled yourself off the door with another sigh, “Let’s go, buddy.”

You pulled open the door, checking the hallway to make sure you were all clear. Laughing to yourself as you did. You damn well knew everyone was gone. With the release of Sebastian’s movie Monday two days ago, Sebastian was asked to be ‘spotted’ with Catalina in Griffith Park.

She wanted in on some of the attention he was getting through the movie and TFAWS too.

They would walk a short stretch on the main path and Eli, Seb’s assistant, would walk behind them to take a ‘candid’ picture and then they’d post it on some random Twitter account. That was the plan you’d overheard last night anyways.

You didn’t really care, as long as it got her away from you.

They wouldn’t be gone long, at least, Sebastian wouldn’t. You were honestly hoping that his team would convince her to stay somewhere else for now. He’d been on their asses about it since the moment she showed up at your doorstep on your birthday.

Realistically, you knew she wasn’t going to leave anytime soon.

Not unless they made her.

But how much power did they really have over her?

Money talks.

And her parents, or better yet, her sugar daddy, were paying lots for this fake relationship. She was going to be sure that she got everything her way.

Yeah. You could say you’d definitely learned a lot about her this week. Things you certainly would have loved to have gone without knowing your whole life.

You weren't very surprised to hear that she had a sugar daddy and the he was the one that got her this arrangement in the first place, especially when you found out he worked for Sebastian’s agency. You didn’t know much about him other than he was some older Spaniard, who previously worked as a manager for some famous European singer and that he owned a big ass yacht.

But for some reason you were surprised to find that not only was Catalina a bitch but she was a messy bitch.

And by messy, you meant literally disgusting.

Your jaw practically hit the floor when you walked into the kitchen to find a pile of dishes in the sink that weren’t there before when you scurried off to your room when you heard her bedroom door open. And by the dried food caked across the plates, it was obvious they’d been in her room for more than a couple days.

“Murder.” You hissed, fists unclenching and clenching as you glared down at the overflowing sink, “I’m going to commit murder.”

You whipped out your phone from the lulu workout jacket you’d slipped on, sending a quick, angry text.

To Smexy Seabass:

I’m fucking TIRED of cleaning up her shit.

If she is going to continue to stay here, she needs to grow the fuck up and clean her shit or she needs to hire her own personal cleaning lady.

You winced as you read the text over again, regret already bubbling up in your chest as his text bubbles appeared.

To Smexy Seabass:

I’m sorry baby. I’m not taking it on you.

I know it’s not your fault. I’m just frustrated.

From Smexy Seabass:

I’ll handle it.

You aren’t the only one but I’m still sorry.

Love you tons. Be home soon.

To Smexy Seabass:

I love you more.

You couldn’t keep living like this.

You haphazardly slid your phone across the island before trekking over to the back door to let your eager pup out into the yard.

“I’m sorry, baby boy.” You cooed softly, “Go on. We’ll go for a run in a little bit.”

He ignored you, bounding excitedly into the backyard. You took a second to watch him zoom through the yard, racing from one end to the other.

Man, life must be good when you’re a dog.

You took a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before releasing it—willing to stress away with it.

You couldn’t let her get to you.

You wouldn’t let her win.

It wasn’t comfortable for her either. You and Sebastian weren’t going out of your way to make her feel accommodated–you made dinner for two and ate it together, you planned outings that didn’t include her, watched movies in the common space, and had friends over.

And it wasn’t like she didn’t have other living arrangements. Her cousin lived not too far from here and sugar daddy owned a house a few blocks over.

The only reason she was staying here was to get under your skin.

She’d made that obvious within the first few hours of her stay.

You really had planned to go at it with niceties—kill her with kindness and all that but then she didn’t try to hide her distaste for you when she refused to shake your hand, instead eyeing it as if it was the literal scum on the bottom of her shoe. And then it was the looks–disapproving glares and judgmental once overs whenever you were in the same room. It wasn’t even forty eight hours before the comments started, snide remarks about your outfit, your hair, the amount of food you did or didn’t eat.

It had become downright unbearable to be in a room with her, especially alone.

Nothing she said ever truly bothered you. There was only one real reason a woman put another woman down; jealousy. She was obviously extremely threatened by you and insecure.

Still, it wasn’t something you should have to put up with in your own, albeit temporary, home.

The blatant disrespect and bullying.

Catalina was a child.

A spoiled, insecure brat.

Sebastian’s presence helped somewhat. At least when he was in the room she would act better and by better, she would ignore your presence completely.

You actually preferred that.

And if you were being completely honest, it was funny to watch her try and keep his attention when he only ever had eyes for you.

You were both gearing up to film so fortunately you weren’t home as often the past couple days but there were times when you wrapped up at work before Sebastian and found something to occupy your time to avoid returning home without him. Just yesterday you finished early and ended up hanging around his trailer until he was done. By the time you returned home it was well past eight and you were immediately bombarded by Catalina as soon as you stepped through the door.

“Finally! You are late.” Catalina beamed, shoulders straightening as she caught sight of Sebastian standing in the doorway behind you, “I’ve texted you a million times now, Sebby. I made you dinner.”

Never had you felt more invisible.

It was like you weren’t even standing there, she was looking right past you.

But it was probably a good thing, you supposed.

You felt Sebastian’s hand trail along your back, looping possessively around your waist to rest over your stomach. In that moment, you appreciated the way his body pressed against yours–grounding you and inadvertently including you in… whatever this was.

Finally her eyes flickered to you—only long enough to send a disgusted sneer in your direction.

Two could play that game. If she wanted to pretend you didn’t exist, you would too.

You leaned back into him, relishing in the warmth and comfort, and tipped your head back to shoot him a goofy, careless grin. One so full of love and adoration, that anyone with a pair of eyes could practically taste the sugary sweetness.

“Actually,” Sebastian dipped down to press a kiss to the top of your head and you didn’t miss the way Catalina’s eyes flashed with blatant anger, “Eli and Molly are picking up pizza for us.”

You had to swallow back a laugh. If it were anyone else, you’d feel bad but it wasn’t and she definitely didn’t deserve anything from him–not his time, not his attention, not his kindness.

Instead of brushing it off like a mature adult, she scoffed loudly, stomped her foot, and stormed off in the direction of the kitchen with her arms crossed over her chest and an ugly pout in her lips.

You turned in his arms as soon as she was out of your line of sight, “Pizza?” You snickered, your own arms wrapping around his neck as you lifted yourself up on your toes. “Does Eli know he’s supposed to pick that up?”

He threw his head back, not bothering to quiet his laugh as he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you tighter against him. He fished his phone out of his back pocket with a goofy grin, “Let me just call him real quick.”

You giggled, lifting yourself up further to peck his lips a few times as he fumbled with his phone, trying to find the right contact and kiss you at the same time.

“Yeah, hey,” He paused to kiss you again, “Will you pick up some pizza on your way over?”

“It’s going to be a long fucking summer.” You mumbled to yourself. “God help us all.”

You turned, heading towards the kitchen because those dishes weren’t going to wash themselves and maybe a good, hard scrub would release some of this built up anger coursing through your blood.

—————

Doing the dishes hadn’t helped, not in the slightest. In fact, it made you feel worse.

You couldn’t for the life of you figure out why you didn’t just leave them for her to take care of. Now she would expect you to just do them from here on out.

You were enabling her that way. And now you wished you had put them in her room.

You were feeling extremely out of control with her around. Staying in that house with her was suffocating you.

You were constantly on edge.

You didn’t trust her.

Not with your things. Not with your life outside of the limelight.

What if she took a picture of you while you were sleeping? Or naked?

What if she was plotting against you?

She’d leaked her ex's nudes out of spite, who’s to say she wouldn’t do the same thing to you?

You hated that she had that much control over you—that you let her get under your skin like that.

Your thoughts had run rampant and they grew louder and more persistent with every heavy step. Running usually helped to clear your mind and you’d chosen this quiet, scenic route for you and Bentley for the sole reason of turning off your mind and finding some peace.

Instead you got the opposite.

Your body felt tense. Your head felt clouded. Your heart, physically heavy.

You took a sharp turn, cutting down a different path to head back in the direction of the main road. Maybe running through LA would serve as a good distraction. Your mind would not have much time to overthink if it was too busy trying to figure out all the different people you’d no doubt come across.

It probably wasn’t the safest idea to run along the road, especially on a hill but you figured it would be fine during broad daylight and you knew the area well enough to know it was fairly safe. You really didn’t have to worry for your safety until you were further into the city.

You used the down hill slope to your advantage, laughing breathlessly at the way Bentley’s face looked blown back against the wind. Finally, the adrenaline you’ve been searching for hit you full force.

And all you felt was relief.

A content smile bloomed across your face, a healthy flush blooming your cheeks. You pumped your arms harder and pulled your knees higher with every stride.

Everything we be okay. Everything-

A car honked, slowed to a stop across the street, and then your name was called.

You didn’t even have time to react, Bentley cut right in front of you to dart across the street and somehow your foot got caught in his leash. One minute you were upright, the next you were laying flat on your back with a dull throb in the back of your head and a sharp ache in your ankle.

“Oh my God.” You blinked up at the familiar figure hovering over you, cerulean eyes swarming with so much concern, “Baby, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

If you thought your head was fuzzy before, it was nothing compared to now.

Your name was called softly, “Hey,” A pair of warm big hands cupped your face, “Please, say something or I’m calling an ambulance.”

Finally you inhaled sharply and it was only then that you realized the air had been knocked from your lungs. You licked your lips, mouth suddenly feeling dry, “How are you here?” Your eyes flickered over Sebastian’s face, “Am I in heaven?”

Out of all the things that could’ve come out your mouth…

Fortunately, this earned you somewhat of a laugh. A chuckle at best. But not from the man kneeling over you.

“She makes jokes.” You tilted your head to the side to find Eli standing over Sebastian’s shoulders. “She looks fine to me.”

You moved to sit up and your boyfriend helped you with a steady hand on your back and the other on your elbow. Your vision swam a little and you pressed a hand to your head with a groan, “What are you doing here?”

“I tracked your location and figured you were on a run.” Sebastian shrugged his shoulders a little, his hands trailing over your shoulders and down your back. No doubt making sure you were okay for himself, that you didn’t have any serious cuts or scrapes that needed immediate medical attention “I was going to have Eli drop me off so I could join you. I should’ve called and warned you.”

The look on his face reminded you of a literal kicked puppy and your heart clenched painfully in your chest. He would definitely blame himself, he already was if the blatant guilt in his expression was any indication.

Trying hard to bite back a wince, you pulled yourself up on your knees and threw your arms over his shoulders, “It wasn’t your fault. You had no idea Bent would react like that.”

Your whole body tensed up and your head whipped frantically around, “Where is he?”

“He’s okay.” Eli spoke up, drawing your attention back to him and calming your racing heart, “I put him in the car.”

You slumped back into your boyfriend's arm with relief, burying your face in his chest. You felt like crying, you couldn’t even begin to describe how mortified you felt and you could only hope to God that no one saw you in this position.

“We should go.” It was as if he could read your mind, “Are you okay to stand?”

You weren’t sure but you nodded anyway. Your head, back, and ankle hurt so bad. All you wanted to do was crawl in bed, forget this day, and start over tomorrow.

Sebastian took your hands in his and helped you to your feet. Your entire body was trembling, the adrenaline from the run and then the fall finally wearing off. There was no hiding your pain when you went to take a step and your legs practically buckled.

“Woah.” Your lover caught you around the waist, pulling you protecticaly into his side, “What hurts?”

“My ankle.” You rolled your eyes, breathing out an annoyed huff at the pointed look he shot you, “And my head and back.”

He didn’t respond but instead scooped you up in his arms and checked for cars before crossing the street, “We’re going to an urgent care.”

“Seb-”

“Don’t argue with me.” He cut you off, tone final, “You scared the ever living shit out of me. You can’t even put weight on your ankle and you hit your head. You are going to get checked out.”

“I’m sure it’s just sprained or something.” You sighed, dropping your head against his shoulder. You were just tired, you wanted to go home and cuddle in your bed, not deal with doctors and the risk of people seeing you. “No big deal.”

“I don’t care.”

Eli pulled open the door as you approached the car and Sebastian slid into the backseat with you in his lap.

“This seems a little excessive.”

“Shut the fuck up, baby.” He hissed, pressing a hand to your head, guiding it back to rest on his shoulder, “Just humor me. Please.”

You relaxed back into his embrace with a dramatic sigh, “Fine.”

—————

By the time you returned home from urgent care the sun had long ago set and your stomach was protesting loudly.

“I can walk.” You grumbled to Sebastian when he appeared at your door.

“Just let me take care of you, baby.” He pleaded, eyes all soft and big, “You have a concussion and a broken ankle. Please.”

You sighed, relenting by wrapping your arms over his shoulders and holding on tight as he scooped you up in his arms. “It’s not broken. A stress fracture isn’t technically a break.”

“Yes it is.”

Eli unlocked and opened the door for him, holding it as you passed through with a tired smile.

“Thank you.” You offered softly, mirroring his smile, “Seriously. We appreciate you.”

“Of course.” He responded, “What are friends for?”

Sebastian chuckled lightly, “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

“Aw.” A sly grin split across Eli’s face, “Don’t get it all sappy on me now.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Your boyfriend laughed, shrugging as best he could with you in his arms, “Go on and get out of here. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Of course.” Eli hesitated by the door, one hand on the handle, “Are you guys sure you’re good? Do want me to pick you up some dinner?”

“Nah, man.” Sebastian smiled, shaking his head, “We’re just going to order something. Go home to your wife!”

“Okay.” He chuckled, “See ya tomorrow.”

“Bye.”

You both watched as he left, locking the door once he’d made it safely to his car.

“To bed with you.” Sebastian chuckled, tightening his arms around you as he began to make his way further into the house, “And then I’ll order some food. What you feel like having?”

You let your head rest against his shoulder, eyes heavy and head still pounding, “Something comforting and warm.”

“So,” He grinned, “Chinese?”

“Mhm.” You mumbled distractedly, finally taking notice of the silence and darkness that coated the entire house. Something you weren’t used to since the arrival of your unwelcomed guest. “Why is it so quiet in here? Where is she?”

“I sent her away.”

He said it so casually like it wasn’t that big of deal–like it probably didn’t take that much convincing.

“How?”

Sebastian didn’t respond right away, instead taking his time to flick the lights on in the master bedroom and then set you gently on the bed. He moved to gather a pair of pajamas and your fuzziest socks, “Do you want to shower?”

You looked at him like he’d grown two heads, “Sebastian.”

Finally, he turned to look at you, hands on hips and a tired look on his face, “I let her post about Monday.”

Your mouth opened and closed, “Like just for tonight?”

“No.” He approached you, setting the pjs on the end of the bed before taking your face in his hands, “My teams working out a schedule. She’s allowed to stay here every once in a while to make content to bait.” He brushed his thumb down your cheek, “And someone else will always be here when she is. You will never be alone with her.”

“How did you-”

“Know?” He interrupted softly, “She isn’t so quiet or sneaky. I’ve heard some of the stuff she’s said to you. It’s disgusting.”

“Thank you.” You leaned forward to rest your forehead against his, feeling nothing but relief. “Thank you so much for that.”

“I love you, baby.” He whispered, dipping down to press a soft kiss to your lips, “I want you to be comfortable in your own home and I couldn’t stand her being around either. I’m always going to put you first. I’m always going to have your back.”

“I love you.”

You shared one more tender kiss and a few quick pecks.

“Now,” He pulled back, wearing a lopsided grin, “How about a shower?”

—————

TagList

@justlovelifeblog @inlovewith3 @buckybarnesandmarvel @sleutherclaw @snugglingbucky @perlaluna @littlewhiterose

@idontwannagomrstarkk @abihaaa14 @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer @sebsgirl71479 @getofffmydick @eccentricnos @barnesml @aira1995 @sweetwritingfanficfriend @dhoruwolfie @unaxv

#sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan x you

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iantimony · 6 months ago

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2024 year in review - roundup style, plus bonus graphs!

we're so back! doing things in a slightly different order than last year: first, reviewing the 2024 resolutions.

--> get back on a regular workout schedule: swimming 1x a week, weights once or twice a week. would like to try and work towards my One Pullup goal again. would also be cool to try and work towards a hand/headstand. Ha Ha. yeah. no. did not do great with this one. definitely did a non-zero amount of exercise but I probably averaged about 1 gym visit a week, if that. I think I am going to add a "working out" section to next year's weekly roundup, right now I've been posting that on dreamwidth under my 'gains' tag but I think slapping it in the weekly roundup will help a lot. I've been doing a lot more yoga than normal in December so I would like to keep that going in the new year - I paid for down dog last summer and have actually used it which is good, and I'm doing their 'every day January' challenge thingy so that should be a good place to start. realistically after January I will not do yoga Every Day but I bet I can make it happen 2x a week. more on that in the 2025 resolutions section.

--> try and be more mindful. i'm going to continue the grief therapy but also think about meditating more, doing more yoga, and so on. I got ghosted by my grief therapist at the end of January lol <3 and was quite bad about meditating and journaling especially this year - in 2023 I was really good about regularly journaling and I think it was really good for me but that fell off almost entirely this year.

--> there's a gallery on main street that solicits work from local artists for bimonthy themed exhibitions and i really want to submit at least one thing to it this year! the one due by end of january is themed 'florals', and the one two months after that is 'layers', so i'd really like to submit something to one of those. weeps cries throws up. I didn't even submit to the artists' choice show for December. I should have though - I peeked in the gallery and based on the caliber of work. I absolutely would have made it in. Oh well.

--> more weird art! use that big canvas i bought in literally 2022! paint!!! did essentially Zero painting this year besides some watercolor in a travel journal, Ha Ha. did not do anything particularly weird or fun.

--> finally put together that travel journal from korea & japan (and also scrapbook-ify the papers i have leftover in a pile from that) also did not do this :'D I DID work on my travel journal for England somewhat though.

--> also, maybe do current scrapbook a little different? might need a new binder at the very least. kind of! I did portion off the current binder into just 2021-2022, I have separate 2023 and 24 events in chronological binder sleeves but now that those years are done I think it would be cool to do them in a more traditional book format.

--> hang up that expensive quilt i bought in august IT IS STILL IN A PLASTIC BAG IN MY CLOSET …. however, I DID move into my own place this summer, and my boyfriend is going to help me hang it up in January when he's visiting after the holidays, so. it wasn't done but it's imminent.

--> speaking of quilt: do some hand quilting, english paper piercing! i have so much fucking fabric! did do some of this! have not finished that exact project but I did do some of it! I also have done a lot of Thinking about fabric projects which I know doesn't count but it has been marinating is all I'm saying.

--> find a new apartment to move into that hopefully won't suck! completed! only sucked a little bit to do, and the actual apartment itself is good, if a little dire in terms of insulation!

--> try to secure some sort of summer internship or project that will let me develop some new skillsets that i might not be getting with my current research this failed for last summer but I learned a lot from the process and am very optimistic about this coming summer.

--> finish the masters degree did do this!

--> write…a paper? for the work i just presented??? did not do this! it's complicated! big pain in the ass!

--> keep tweaking neocities and make some more pages basically didn't touch neocities at all this year.

--> keep track of recipes this year as well in my making section this was a success!

i might start a little spreadsheet this year to keep better track of all my stuff because i really did Not want to go through all my separate listening and reading sections and extract what i liked the most, etc. this post required me to first back up a few extra early tuesdayposts from this year to dreamwidth, and then skim all of them to accumulate the above, and that was kinda a pain. and i love an excuse to start a new spreadsheet. I did not actually MAKE the spreadsheet til December but fucking whatever I did do it. and it was great.

of those roughly 15 notes, if I am very generous in what I count as a success, I accomplished about 7 of them! about a 50% success rate implies to me that I was a little too ambitious. this was a 2023 not 2024 resolution but I did partake in bandcamp Friday this year also so that's fun!

now. THE DATA. there is a part of me that really, really wants to whip out some old bokeh macros to sexy-ify this data. that could be fun to host on neocities and/or my real-name website as an example of my data viz prowess. but for now, google sheets plots will suffice. they are not very accessible (color blindness, etc) unfortunately.

behold! a bar chart! this data isn't necessarily 100% correct or perfect, some of these numbers are deffo estimates.

listening: saw more live music this year for sure - saw Haken, St. Vincent, ELO, and Sammy Rae live and they all slapped. lots of podcasts, even more music. April doing some heavy lifting there due to the spotify algorithm playlists, especially the release radar but also other miscellaneous generated playlists.

my bigass 2024 playlist!

reading: I THINK I read significantly less AO3 this year but I read a lot of other articles and a few books! notables were Bunny (bad) and The Left Hand Of Darkness (good) (which I think mirrors last year, which was also [modern lit book] bad [ursula le guin] good if I recall right)

watching: more youtube in the second half of the year than the first. something about background noise maybe.

playing: largely dnd with a smattering of video games and magic the gathering.

making: mostly pottery with some fiber art in there.

eating: yay recipes :-) adding this section was a roaring success. considering compiling a 'favs of 2024' pdf to distribute. should be pretty easy to do so stay tuned for that.

misc: finished masters degree! saw the eclipse in April! became a member of my local temple this year! england/scotland trip!

the 2025 goals!

once again: workout routine! setting this at 1 day of cardio, 1 day of yoga/adjacent, and 1 day of weights per week. this feels sustainable. would like to make it through the yoga every day down dog challenge for January.

reintegrate journaling into my day-to-day.

clean up some digital clutter; organize photos and files, empty..my tumblr likes …… [80k posts]

generally move away from perfectionist tendencies (in writing/journaling (feeling compelled to record Everything), painting, etc)

submit to the gallery on main street for real this time

finish the travel journals

learn some quilting

get back into neocities! maybe start crossposting these on there?

read like...10 books this year

pass my prelim exams ;_;

onwards and upwards. good night and good luck. here's to 2025 :-)

#tuesdayposting

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