#well actually from the start (barring those couple of cases of the week)

[booasaur]

Transplant (2020) - 3x05 - Neeta and Phoebe

[bleedingoptimism]

𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚

part 1

“You look pale,” Jeff comments making Eddie snort loudly.

Of course he looks pale, he’s got vampirism, doesn't he? But then again, so does Jeff and he looks great.

“When was the last time you fed?” He asks.

Eddie sighs heavily trying to reign in his bad mood. He knows Jeff’s just worried and wants to help, and he’s grateful to have run into an old friend from high school as soon as he moved into the big city. 

Because he’d be utterly lost without him.

He doesn't know where anything is, he gets lost in the subway, and he has no idea when he’s being charged too much for a muffin or suspiciously too little for a hotdog, or where all the blood markets are.

“Like, two weeks ago,” Eddie finally answers.

Jeff looks surprised but it’s not actually that bad, people with vampirism can go up to 4 to 5 weeks without blood. 

It’s not the same as those vampires from movies and books, they still eat food and they can stand in the sun with just minor cases of sunburn. There’s also the light sensitivity, making them all look like assholes wearing sunglasses everywhere.

Also, they are not allergic to garlic. Which, thank the heavens because Eddie loves garlic, a lot.

There’re a couple of side effects that do come in handy sometimes, like augmented hearing and smell. And the healing spit is super weird but nifty. No super strength regrettably, that would’ve been awesome.

Anyways, it’s like they have super anemia or something.

“I went to a blood bar, hooked up with some dude but. I didn't have a good time, at all. I kind of don't want to go back to bars for a while,” He elaborates and when Jeff frowns worried, he shakes his head,

“No, not like that. It’s just… the dude was like way too into it, you know? It kinda freaked me out.”

“What do you mean? Don't you find it hot? When you feed?” Jeff asks him, curious. 

Eddie nods quickly, “Yes, of course I do! It can be really sexy with the right person, but this guy, he was like- like way too loud and like, he was faking it? I don’t for who, though. And halfway through it, I started getting worried I’d accidentally hired someone instead of just hooked up and I didn’t have any money, and then I started thinking about money and my dick-”

“Ok! Ok, I get it.” Jeff thankfully interrupts him. “Dude, why didn’t you say something, I know of a place. I didn’t mention it before because it’s kind of boujee and handles itself a little differently.” 

“Oh? Do tell” Eddie tells him excitedly, he loves going to new places, especially if they are weird.

“Well, it’s real private, like ‘can’t get in unless you are on the list’ private. And it’s run by this girl. Blonde little thing, super cute. Scary as fuck. Everyone calls her ‘The Boss’” he says doing air quotes.

“Dramatic, I like it.” Eddie smiles.

Jeff chuckles, “So the gist of it it’s you go there and just hang out normally, like any other kind of bar. The place is beautiful, the music is good, and the drinks are delicious. But what's interesting about this place is the hostesses,” he says and even does a little pause for effect before continuing, “Similar to a blood bar there’re people there willing to be fed on but what’s cool about it is they get to choose.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows, “That sounds kind of fun, actually.”

“Right? And it feels, safer somehow? For them?” Jeff agrees and Eddie nods and smiles at him, waiting for him to keep going.

“Anyway, the hostesses choose and then you get to go upstairs and talk through what you want to happen, just feeding, sex, talking, anything they agree to, it's on the table. I once ended up just playing a game of Uno with the girl I fed on and two other hostesses that hadn't picked anyone that night.” he finishes and Eddie laughs delightedly.

“Ok, this place sounds amazing, what’s the catch?” 

“Well, you have to pay an entry fee, the drinks are expensive and there’s always the possibility you’ll leave empty-handed. The first time is free though,” Jeff says.

“Like drugs,” Eddie replies and Jeff nods solemnly, 

“You know the hostesses can be kind of addicting.” 

…

That night, on the way there, Jeff tells him they have to sign a guest list at the entrance,

“No one uses their real name, not because the place is shady or anything! But because they want to leave that choice to us and the hostesses if you ever get too close with one. It's not like, frowned upon.”

Eddie nods listening intently, he feels kind of nervous in a way he hasn't in a while, but he’s not sure why.

“Also, secret nicknames are fun! I’m known as Jay there. So please don’t dox me. Or yourself.” Jeff tells him.

After careful consideration, Eddie smiles and says, “I’ll be… Strider”

“Nerd”

“Shut up, you are just jealous you didn't come up with it yourself”

Jeff laughs, “You got me there,” he says, and then, “We are here” and he opens a big glass windowed door and vows to Eddie, inviting him in.

Eddie chuckles and enters and immediately almost runs into someone—a tall, massive guy with short curly hair and the shadow of a beard.

“Hey freak,” Jeff greets calmly, “He’s with me,”

Eddie cringes at the nickname, bad memories from high school bullying. But the dude just nods and gives Jeff the tiniest of smiles, so he figures it’s the nickname the bouncer chose for himself.

They enter and sign their name in the guest book, a girl about their age with dirty blond hair and hundreds of freckles on her nose and cheeks is there and she asks Eddie a couple of questions. Not in a weird way, but in a ‘you are new and I’m curious’ kind of way.

Eddie feels comfortable and excited as they go in.

Jeff was right, the place is beautiful. The lobby leads to a big room with high ceilings and fake candle-lit lamps. The chairs and tables are antiques and all different but roughly the same time period so they look good together. There’re old signs and posters from all kinds of drinks and different products adorning the walls. And the music is instrumental and oldie too, sounds like probably 40s or 50s.

It is incredibly boujee. But in a fun way, cozy and warm.

They get a seat at a small round table in a corner and Jeff lets Eddie look around for a while before asking,

“So? Weird right? It’s like stepping into another time,”

Eddie snorts, “Yeah, one that has no idea which time period it wants to repre- who is that?”

Jeff looks at where Eddie is looking and sighs, “Of course you noticed Sunshine,”

“Sunshine?” Eddie sighs.

“That’s what they call him. Because apparently he smells like flowers and summer and tastes like orgasms or something,” Jeff says amused rolling his eyes.

The guy, Sunshine, is probably the prettiest person he’s ever seen in his life, definitely the most beautiful man in this room. His face is a contradiction of sharp and round angles that is just absolutely perfect, and he’s wearing a black suit that clings to his body like a second skin, showing off his big shoulders and his tiny waist. He’s looking around the room with big, brown eyes that look bored as he leans against a wall like he’s above it all, he’s a fucking dream.

Eddie swallows audibly and looks smirking at Jeff for a second before his eyes drift back to the man, “Tastes like what, you said” he teases and Jeff snorts.

“Not that anyone would know, as far as I know, he’s never taken anyone upstairs,” he tells Eddie in a conspiratory tone.

That makes him incredibly curious, “Really? Why is he still here then?”

“I don’t know for sure, mostly rumors but he’s the boss’s favorite, that’s for sure. Oh!” Jeff exclaims and then nods his head to a girl sitting on the other side of the room, in a big fancy-looking chair that looks more like a throne than a simple piece of furniture.

She’s got blonde hair up in a ponytail and she’s wearing a flowery dress but there's something about the way she looks around the room, something about the way people walk around her and look at her, with respect or fear, or maybe both. She’s fucking intimidating.

While Eddie’s looking, the girl from the front desk, with the freckles, comes to sit on a small stool beside the “throne”, there’s another one on the other side that’s empty. The blonde girl moves her hand towards freckles and she kisses it and then her shoulder and smiles as she leans in closer and starts whispering to her.

It’s kind of surreal. 

“That’s The Boss, and the girl from the entrance, that’s Sparrow. She’s her girl.” Jeff explains.

“Respect for looking scary in a sundress,” Eddie comments.

And Jeff nods, “Anyways my theory is, Sunshine is actually just a bodyguard and not a hostess but the people that come here like to think they actually have a chance with him, so no one says anything to the contrary.”

Eddie snorts and nods, it makes sense. It's actually very good marketing, just like the ‘the first one is free’ thing. That boss girl is really smart with her business.

Jeff and he get a few drinks and they chat calmly, Jeff isn't looking to go upstairs tonight, he only came by to accompany Eddie and Eddie knows he should be looking around, trying to make eye contact with someone, but he can stop staring at Sunshine.

He even looked at their table at one point, and Eddie thought he was going to faint. He was scanning the room as he apparently does every couple of minutes when he caught Jeff’s eye and Jeff lifted his hand in greeting.

And Sunshine’s face completely transformed, his bored calculating expression changed into a beautiful smile that made his eyes shine. He wiggled his fingers at Jeff cutely before going back to looking like fucking Droopy Dog. If Droopy was the sexiest motherfucker alive. It was amazing to see.

Eddie’s jaw almost hit the table and he turned to look at Jeff stunned and he just shrugged,

“Sunshine was one of the hostesses I ended up playing Uno with. He’s fucking vicious,” he says smiling at the memory.

Eddie chuckles as his eyes follow Sunshine moving across the room, he just can't. Stop. Looking.

But the thing is, Sunshine is looking back now. Keeping eye contact with him obviously and unashamed. It’s thrilling and it makes shivers run down his spine.

He watches as Sunshine sits on the stool on the other side of The Boss’s throne and grabs her hand and holds it, intertwining their fingers. 

The Boss and her girl turn and look at him and the three of them start whispering, looking at him.

“Dude,” he says and turns to Jeff to see if he’s seeing what he’s seeing.

Jeff looks from him to the whispering party, “Un fucking believable, first time here and tonight is the night Sunshine is taking someone upstairs” he says looking fed up, but clearly in a joking manner.

“Is that what you think it’s happening? No way,” Eddie shakes his head as Sparrow says something that makes The Boss chuckle but Sunshine speaks up and she sobers up immediately. Curious.

“He’s looking right at you, he probably went to ask Sparrow about you,” Jeff insists.

“Maybe he’s looking at you”

“He’s seen me before,” Jeff scoffs.

He’s about to reply but their conversation gets interrupted by someone shily clearing their throat. A girl, a hostess, is looking at him with curious eyes, and shit… she’s cute and looks like a nice person but, Eddie can’t- he needs to know what those looks from Sunshine meant.

He needs him.

He looks back at the group quickly to see Sunshine and The Boss in deep conversation and Sparrow… is she glaring at him?

He rejects the girl, as nicely as possible and Jeff scoffs and murmurs ‘unbelievable’ under his breath again as Eddie turns to look back at Sunshine.

Who is walking toward them, holy shit.

“Holy shit,” Jeff says and then moves to stand. Eddie grabs his wrist and tries to pull him back.

“Wait what are you doing, dont-” But Jeff frees himself and starts walking away,

“Good luck!” He sings songs and then leaves him alone.

part 1: you are here

part 2: 👄

part 3: 🩸

bonus content: ☀️

ao3: 🌙

art: 🦇

coffee?☕🥐💕

[zepskies]

Never Say Goodbye - Part 2

Pairing: Dean x Female Reader

Summary: The first time you and Dean sensed each other’s thoughts and feelings, you were just kids. It would take years to realize that you both were bonded for life, and even longer to finally meet. [Soulmate AU] (Rated M for eventual scenes – 18+)

AN: Real quick, just want to say I’m so happy that so many people seem to like this little story so far! Here’s a longer chapter for ya.~

Word Count: 4,300 Warnings: Mentions of anxiety. Language.

Part 2: Connection

Dean honestly didn’t remember that snowy day when he was seventeen with much clarity. Or that sad, anxious feeling in his chest.

Not until six years later, anyway.

It was only a few months after Sam left for college, and left his older brother behind. Well, he’d left John too, but he was the one who gave Sam the ultimatum in the first place.

If you leave, don’t you dare come back.

So Dean struggled to be okay with that while he and John were on another hunt in South Dakota. There was a short but significant string of murders in Vermillion, about an hour away from Sioux Falls.

“Too bad Bobby couldn’t make it,” Dean said. He and John were researching the case at the closest library—over at the University of South Dakota. This one was huge, with multiple floors and new computers.

I guess this is what nerds like Sammy dream about, Dean thought.

“Yeah, could’ve used the manpower. But he’s got his own hunt over in South Carolina somewhere,” John said. His voice was gruff with tiredness. They’d driven for about a week straight, slowly but surely getting farther from the west coast.

“So this thing eats hearts. That could still be a lot of things,” Dean said. He gestured at the small pile of books between them at their table. John had been jotting something down in the autopsy report they’d stolen. He then turned it Dean’s way and tapped his finger on the puncture wounds.

“Those look canine,” John said.

Dean’s browed crunched. “Werewolf? It’s not a full moon.”

His dad shook his head. “Similar, but different. If I’m right, all we need is a couple silver bullets. After we track this thing down.”

“Okay, I’ll bite.” Dean grinned at his own pun. “What is it?”

John smirked. “It’s a skinwalker.”

That rung some kind of bell, but Dean would be hard-pressed to remember what made a skinwalker different from a werewolf. He hadn’t encountered one before, but after he killed it, he’d be sure to remember.

John explained how skinwalkers were actually a lot like werewolves: they could infect people with a single bite, they liked their burger meat raw (as in, fresh human hearts), and more importantly, silver could kill them.

Though unlike their lunar-dependent cousins, skinwalkers could shapeshift into their animal form whenever they wanted. And that didn’t limit to canines.

“But in this case,” John said, pointing again at the autopsy pictures, “I’d say we got us a dirty dog.”

Dean nodded. “Okay, so how do we find him?”

“What do the vics have in common?”

They started pouring over the police reports of the five victims. John took out a map of the city and made notes on the location where each body was found.

This was the part Sam was hella good at. Dean enjoyed the Magnum P.I. aspect of it, but sitting here in a dusty library for hours was going to be a severe test of his patience.

He tried to focus on the reports, and he actually noticed that one of the victims was a college student—here at South Dakota University. Another one was a bartender, and the bar was only a couple of blocks down the road.

Interesting.

He shuffled through the papers to find the third victim and felt something nagging in the back of his mind—an annoying buzz that made his brows knit together. He was already feeling a bit restless sitting here, his knee bouncing in place and rattling the table a bit.

John looked up at him. “What’s the matter?”

Dean blinked in confusion. “Huh?”

“You’re shaking the table.”

Dean forced his knee to stop. But that was when he felt it—a growing sense of frustration and anxiety blooming in his chest.

What the hell? he thought. He was perfectly fine a few minutes ago. Why did it feel like it was getting hard to breathe?

“Dean.” John looked at his son a bit harder. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Dean answered quickly. “Fine…I’m gonna find a bathroom.”

He tried to be normal as he got up and left the table, but at soon as he was out of eye-shot of his dad, he made swifter strides towards the nearest bathroom. He went to the sink and splashed some water across his face to wake himself up. God, why’m I so freakin’ tired?

He took slow, deep breaths to calm down. Even though his mind was racing with what the fuck, what the fuck.

He wiped his face with some paper towel and realized his hands were shaking. Was he sick or something? He knew that Taco Bell breakfast burrito was too good to be true—

That’s it. Wake the hell up. I can’t fail this damn final!

That. That was not his thought.

“What the fuck?” Dean couldn’t help saying it out loud, just to make sure he could still speak normally.

He stared at his own shocked face in the mirror.

Then finally, he knew.   

He knew what these symptoms were, because while he’d ignored that chapter of social studies, Sam had always been an avid student. Truth be told, Dean hadn’t really wanted to learn that subject. It was the reason he didn’t like thinking about their mom. And the reason why their dad barely spoke about her.

But Dean knew what happened when soulmates started getting close to one another for the first time.

Dean was feeling his freaking soulmate, and it was scaring the hell out of him.

Suddenly he could feel the bond. It was like a humming thread in his mind, an itch he wanted to scratch. If he just reached out the slightest bit, he could touch it. He could connect with whoever it was on the other line.

He could…or he could just leave it for a while until he figured out what he was even going to say, let alone do if someone answered him back.

So he did what most twenty-three year old men would do when faced with a potentially life-changing bond of commitment and…feelings.

He shoved it down and ran.

Well, not literally ran, but he was quick to leave the bathroom and return to his dad.

“Finally. What the hell took you so long?” John asked. He was already gathering their stuff together to leave.

Dean felt pinned by his dad’s gaze, but he did his best to play it smooth.

“Uh, sorry. Breakfast burrito hit me sideways. Then there was no toilet paper in the stall and I had to climb under and—”

John grimaced and held up a hand to stop him. “All right. Let’s just go.”

Dean let out a relieved breath. He hefted his backpack onto his shoulder and followed his dad out of the library, back to the Impala. He climbed into the passenger seat and took a swig of an old soda to steady himself.

He still felt her anxiety in his chest (at least, he hoped it was a her). Maybe she was having a rough day…but once he remembered what she’d said in his head, he wanted to slap a hand to his forehead.

You idiot. She’s studying for a test, he thought. She’s probably a student here.

That realization made him smirk. Aw, yeah. College girl, huh?

Though that thought was followed by a dousing shower of reality.

Oh shit. The thing we’re hunting just ate a college freshman.

“Dean, what’s the matter with you? You lost in space over there?” John asked. It punctured the bubble of Dean’s internal world and made him sharpen to attention.

“Nah, I’m fine. Where’re we headed?”

John scrutinized him a bit longer, but at Dean’s stubbornness, he seemed to let it go for now.

“To find this thing,” he said. “I narrowed down its hunting grounds and called the local animal control. They’ve been getting reports of people hearing a stray dog barking, but no one’s seen him.”

Dean nodded and settled back into his seat. Just focus on the hunt, he told himself. Deal with the rest after.

You were having a phenomenally shitty day.

Well, you supposed that was nothing new. You were twenty years old, still not old enough to legally drink but old enough to have adult bills and adult stress to go along with it. So you were also broke.

And you were halfway through a degree in history. A degree that your father repeatedly told you was “impractical” to earn a decent living with. Which wasn’t even true.

…Okay, maybe that was a little bit true. But you liked history, and you could easily fall into Mom’s footsteps and become a teacher.

You could work for a museum. You could become a world-renowned historian, or write an award-winning historical fantasy like Game of Thrones and make millions off the TV deal!

…Okay, most likely it was probably going to the teacher thing, but at least you still had dreams.

Your dad only believed in what he could see right in front of his narrow-minded face.

Your dad was a dream killer.

Maybe you shouldn’t have told him that on the phone just now, but you were fuming, damn it. This wasn’t what you needed on finals week. Especially because you had an insane Calculus final to cram for, and only a few hours to do it. You needed to get back to your part-time job at the coffee shop by three. Unfortunately, you were closing tonight.

First, you needed a pick-me-up before you headed to the library.

Sighing, you rubbed the silver ring on your right hand absently as you waited in line at the university’s café. The ring had been your mom’s, and now it was yours. On most days, it gave you comfort; just that little bit of extra support to get you through.  

Eventually, you got to the front of the line and rattled off your coffee order while still looking up at the menu board: extra-large black coffee with a turbo shot, four sugars. When your gaze slid down and met the guy ringing you up, your brain stuttered to a halt.

“Okay, got it. One ‘Turbo Cram Session’ coming up,” he said. He gave you a charming, friendly grin. With his hazel eyes and tan skin, he was a rare find in a midwestern town like this. His brown hair was long, brushing past his shoulders. He almost reminded you of a character from the cheesy vampire book your teen cousin Lily was obsessed with.

Regardless, he was attractive.

A nervous flutter in your stomach made you smile back. “Thanks.”

You paid the overly expensive bill and watched him make your coffee.

“Finals week, right?” he commiserated.

“Yep.” You sighed and nodded. “Three exams tomorrow, one at eight-in-the-damn-morning.”

He whistled sympathetically. “Yeah, it’s a killer.”

He put the lid on your steaming coffee and handed it to you. His fingers brushed your hand when you took the to-go cup from him, but he hissed a bit and pulled his hand back.

“You okay?” you asked in concern. He glanced at your hand. You toyed with your ring in a nervous habit.

“Yeah, some coffee spilled. No worries,” he said. He flashed you a smile. “If you need to pull an all-nighter, just come back. I can help you mainline the espresso machine.”

He tapped the inside of your wrist and you laughed, playing along. “You’d do that for me?”

“Just for you,” he said with a nod. He pressed a finger to his lips conspiringly. “Keep it quiet, though, or the whole school will be cramming in here like stray cats.”

You laughed again. His nametag read, James.

“Got it. Thanks, James.”

“Call me Jimmy,” he said, giving you a more flirtatious smile.

You left the café with a full-on blush warming your face. When your hands hand brushed, you felt tingles on your skin…but you hadn’t heard his thoughts.

He’s not the one.

Disappointing.

You continued on your path to the library.

You were a bit introverted, mostly keeping to yourself. Your friends were back home in Sioux Falls, so you didn’t really have anyone here, and you didn’t put yourself out there as much as you could. But even when guys did notice you (however few and far between that was), you just couldn’t bring yourself to entertain them. Not if you couldn’t feel them.

Maybe that was a lonely way to go through life. Your friends had certainly told you so. They encouraged you to have fun and explore in college, and part of you wanted to. Another part—the more sensitive part—thought that was just setting yourself up for disappointment.

You wanted something real. Something that would last. Like what your parents had, before…

Whatever. Enough of that. You shook your head to clear your thoughts as you approached the library, but it was hard.

Juggling a full-time college schedule, two part-time jobs, and commuting over an hour every day to school was hard. And your dad wasn’t making it any easier.

All right, stop it. Anxiety was starting to well up in your chest, and you couldn’t afford to battle with it right now.

You went into the library and found your usual spot, practically buried behind the reference books. Finding your favorite work desk, you settled your things there and sipped your coffee. You willed yourself to calm down—to power through that voice in your head that wanted to focus on your problems instead of solutions.

You only had a few hours to plug several complex math equations into your head.

That’s it. Wake the hell up, you thought sternly. I can’t fail this damn final!

With a shaky breath, you cracked open your Calculus book, put on your headphones and some music, and started studying.

A few minutes later, the men’s bathroom door opened with a loud crack and someone quickly walked out of it—right past your table.

You were too deep in your studies and your music to notice. 

Father and son were on the hunt.

John was pretty sure they’d found the skinwalker (in a coffee shop of all places). They just had to wait until the bastard came out.

He and Dean waited in the Impala with Reuben sandwiches to tide them over for the stakeout. John discreetly shot his son a glance.

The boy had been off his game all day, but he couldn’t put his finger on why…

“Hey Dad, where’s Zeppelin IV?” he asked, around a mouthful of Reuben. A smile twitched at John’s lips. He wordlessly retrieved the cassette from the compartment on the driver’s side door and held it up in his hand.

“Hey, why d’you keep it on your side?” Dean asked. “You don’t trust me with your tunes by now? Just like you never let me drive?” 

He was mostly teasing, but maybe there was a thread of truth underneath. John scoffed.

“I don’t let you drive the Impala ‘cause you’re a punk,” he said. He offered Dean the cassette, but just as he was about to grab it, John took it back and popped it into the cassette player himself. He smirked. “Driver picks the music.”

Dean gave him a look, like he wanted to snipe a comeback, but thought better of it. He sat back into his seat.

John took a satisfied bite out of his sandwich.

Oh shit!

You sprung up from your desk in the library, wiping drool from the side of your cheek.

Tell me I didn’t fucking fall asleep!

Sure enough, your Calculus book was cracked open, your half-drunk coffee was cold, and you had all but missed your shift at work. No, no, no!

You dashed around like a mad person trying to collect your books, pens, your phone—everything into your backpack. You had walked here from your dorm, so you were just going to have to run to the coffee shop on foot. You were too broke to take a taxi and the bus would take too damn long.

It was only, what, a mile or two?

Lord help me.

You didn’t have a choice. You just had to run.

“Coffee boy’s clocking out,” Dean observed. He and John climbed out of the Impala. By then it was evening, almost night. The sun dipped behind the clouds and the streetlights were about to come on. Rush hour traffic was heavy here at a four-way intersection.

Dean focused on their target. The guy looked normal—dark hair, tan skin. I guess that’s the idea, Dean thought. Look normal, blend in by slinging watery, overpriced coffee, get your filet o’ human hearts on the side.

When the guy came out of the café, he didn’t walk to a car parked on the street. Instead, he dipped between the café and the university library and went through a back alley.

“Let’s go,” John said, and with their guns loaded up with silver (hidden in their jackets), they hurried across the street and ducked into the alley.

But they didn’t see any trace of the guy. Both retrieved and cocked their guns, moving through the alley slowly.

Dean was usually good at this part. His ex-marine dad had trained him well, and he was focused. Alert.

Until something nagged at the back of his mind. A low hum as that connection flared to life. 

Oh fuck. His lips pursed. A persistent feeling of worry (that wasn’t his own) prickled in his chest, like fire ants across his skin. He tried his best to shut it out.

Not now.

You rushed out the library doors and inwardly bemoaned that it was practically nighttime. You were lucky if you still had a job by the time you got to work.

Damn it! Frustration and worry warred for dominance, but you couldn’t focus on that.

Not now.

You hesitated a moment. A weird feeling fluttered in your chest just then…

Ugh, whatever, you dismissed, shaking your head. I’m insane, it’s fine.

You ran to the street intersection and waited impatiently for the walking light to turn green. 

You looked both ways on the street. It was still red, but there was a window of opportunity in a short lull of cars. You could make it if you hurried.

So you did. You took your chance and ran halfway down the street, making it past the first wave of oncoming traffic. You just didn’t account for the truck that was turning the corner—from the opposite direction.

You had time to utter a scream before you dove for the sidewalk. A woman walking her dog helped you up, asking if you were okay.

You were and you weren’t, really. You were shaking, but you thanked the woman with a trembling smile. At this point, you didn’t care if you were fired. Five bucks an hour wasn’t worth getting splattered on a dusty pavement. 

Damn. Guess I’ll have to apply at Starbucks.

It was intense.

Your fear was like a searing hot knife ripping through Dean’s heart, and it tore a ragged sound from his throat as his knee buckled.

John’s head swiveled to him with wide eyes. “Dean—”

That was the opening their prey was waiting for. Or rather, the creature that was hunting them.

A large dog leapt from the roof of the café—behind and above them. It went for Dean first, biting into his arm through his jacket. Both of them went down as Dean struggled and the animal growled and tried to shred his arm. Dean almost didn’t feel the pain, but he felt panic of his own as he tried to pry the creature off by his canine ears. 

“Dean!”

He looked up at his dad, who stood with his gun aloft. Dean trusted him. He helped give an opening and moved his face away.

Three shots rang out.

The first two killed the skinwalker. The third was just for insurance, and maybe vengeance.

John helped Dean out from under the creature’s body, and they watched it transform back into its natural form. Coffee shop boy.

James, Dean read on his nametag.

“Rest in peace, Cujo,” he quipped, but by now the pain was finally registering. His arm wept with blood through his jacket, and he hissed in pain when his dad put firm pressure on the wound.

“What the fuck happened, Dean?” John demanded. “You got shit between your ears, or a working brain? Because whatever’s got you distracted, that’s how you get killed.”

His father’s anger wasn’t pleasant, but his disappointment was crushing.

Dean swallowed the pain, both physical and…and the rest. He just nodded and apologized.

“Sorry, Dad.”

John shook his head, but he continued leading Dean back to the car.

Back at the motel, John was able to stitch Dean up and wrap his arm. They had planned to leave after the hunt to save money on another motel night…but John agreed to give it one more day to let Dean rest on a real bed.

His son wasn’t just in pain. He was melancholy.

It was unusual for Dean, who normally kept up a decent attitude. And it wasn’t like him to slip up like that on a hunt. John could admit, things were different now without Sam. John was different.

Not that he’d been a picnic before. He knew that much. But maybe Sam leaving was harder than John cared to admit.

After he and Dean were showered up, John brought them back some takeout and beers. He gave Dean one, but before he turned on the TV, he hesitated. A twinge of sorry was at the tip of his tongue.

Instead, he asked, “What’s wrong, Dean?”

His son opened his mouth, a denial ready to fire.

“Don’t lie to me, son,” John said. “Just…tell me what happened today.”

It took a while to pry it out of him. He was resistant, and John expected that.

Dean, for his part, was trying to figure out what to say. How to say it.

Just then, he also remembered something Sam told him when he was only in sixth grade.

“Dean, did you know this? Human souls are really complex, and they’re unique too. We learned about it today in school.”

“Good for you, Super Geek.” 

“They found out that connected souls subconsciously try to find each other. So when you start hearing someone’s thoughts, it’s because the souls are trying to bond together, like molecules.”

Like molecules, huh?

Speaking of, Dean hadn’t heard your thoughts since that terrifying moment when he felt you…

For a moment, he’d thought you’d….

Though deep down, he knew you weren’t gone. He knew the bond was there, like an idle TV. Either you lived really close to this motel, or this HBO connection was getting a wider bandwidth.

“Dean?” John pressed.

Dean looked up, breaking from his thoughts. John didn’t often ask him to open up. But Dean figured if anyone would understand, it would probably be his dad.

He was forced to contemplate the question that had been scaring him all day.

Did he want the same soul bond his parents had, even if it nearly killed John after she died?

“…Dad, how did you and Mom meet?”

The question took John by surprise…but maybe it shouldn’t have. His perceptive gaze washed over Dean.

“It was after I came back from Vietnam,” John said eventually. “We ran into each other by the old movie theater.”

Dean smiled. “Aw, both of you were in line for Jaws?”

A resigned smile quirked at John’s lips. “That was ’75, genius. And no, we…literally ran into each other. Full speed. I went to help her up, but she was already doing it herself. Plus picking up everything that fell outta her bag. All I could do was stare at her like an idiot, ‘cause…I heard her say, God damn it.”

John had been lost in the memory for a moment, but here he looked at Dean.

“But she didn’t say it. She thought it,” he said. “And I knew it was her. She was it for me.”

“And she did too?” Dean asked, somewhat hesitantly.

“No,” John laughed a little. “She took some convincing, if I remember right.”

“What, she couldn’t hear your thoughts?”

“No, she could. But that…connection. It’s different in the beginning,” John said, with a heavy sigh. This was harder to talk about than he thought. For Dean, he would do it. But just this once.

“You don’t have so much control over it. It just kinda…happens.”

“And…how did that work, exactly?” Dean asked.

“Why do you want to know?” John returned. Dean quieted, looking down at his beer.

That was all the confirmation he needed to finally know what was going on. He sighed again.

“Son,” he started, then hesitated. He knew what he was about to say wasn’t completely right, but it was the truth. One day, Dean would understand.

“Son,” he said again. “Unless you’re prepared to hang up your gun, and stop hunting, don’t open that door.”

Dean’s brows knit together, a silent question that he almost didn’t want to ask. John answered it anyway.

“Nobody should be waiting on men like us to come home bloody,” he said.

Dean took those words to heart. He reminded himself that his dad had seen blood and war long before he met Mary. Maybe his dad had more regrets than just not being able to save her.

So the next morning, Dean slid into the Impala’s passenger seat. John drove them away from the college town, out of Vermillion, South Dakota.

Dean felt relieved, and also guilty. Then, the farther they got, he just felt wrong.

Soon enough, the warm tendril of connection in his chest dissipated.

AN: Phew! Okay, one major step closer to you and Dean finally meeting. I definitely drew on some of my own experiences at college here lol.

Read on to: Part 3.

Series Masterlist

Dean Winchester Masterlist

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[cupcakeinat0r]

A couple of yall asked for the booty routine so here u go, shawty <3

Ik this looks like a lot, but trust, bae, it’s important. I felt like if ima talk abt my routine, might as well talk a lil bit abt food too since both work as a team.

[First, let me say that I am by no means a professional. This is something I've learned and acquired through self-research, as well as having two siblings, one who is a bodybuilder and the other who is a personal trainer. Also, the gym is a safe n fun space for everyone:) Work out because you want to, not bc you think you need to look a certain way <3]

Here's my Split: I added my upper body days as well in case yall wanted to kno <3

Monday: Glutes + quads

Tuesday: Back + Biceps

Wednesday: Glutes + Hamstrings

Thursday: Chest + Tricep

Friday: Full Body

Saturday + Sunday: Active rest!!! (Could be running, walking, bicycling, etc., whatever is fun to do! My personal fav is the stair master for an hr or Running for 3 miles, but you do whatever you can. Listen to your body.)

In addition, I do cardio after each sesh on the weekdays. For me, that's running for like 2 miles or so, depends how I'm feeling, but you do whatever cardio you'd like! A good start could simply be inclined walking!

Also, pls pls pls remember rest days are VITALLL. If u want to grow that booty (which is something the couple of you specifically mentioned), those rest days are important bc this is the period when those muscles are actually repairing themselves from the workout, resulting in growth!!! A huge misconception is that “the muscles grow during the workout”… no. Ur actually tearin up those puppies, so that’s what rest days r for! Both rest + protein contribute to ur muscle repair + growth (I’ll talk abt protein intake later). Naturally, I like to rest Sat n Sun, but it could be any 2-3 days of the week. Sometimes, I be usin that Fri full-body sesh as a rest day too so liiiike... if u need to, please do (especially during periods uuuuugh).

As for specific Workouts, I'll list em here. These r for the booty ;)

Hip thrusts, booty + hamstrings

Romanian dead lift, booty + hammies

Goblet Squat, quad destroyer

Hip abductions, booty burner, omfg

Leg press, depends on footing. Higher on platform works hammies n booty, lower works quads.

Weighted Squats, the whole damn leg.

Body weight squats OR lunges (good for warm-ups)

Leg curl, hammies

Leg extension, quads

Bulgarian split squat, booty n whole leg

I do 4 sets of 12 <3

(ALMOST FORGOT, I TARGET FOR 5-6 DIFF EXERCISE FOR EACH WORKOUT)

Nutrition plays a huuuge part as well, but I'll only talk very lil abt it since ion know yall's specific needs<3

Generally, if u want growth, just take ur current weight and put that in grams, for example = 170 lbs. -> 170 g of protein each day. Now, taking in the amount of protein u need can be hard at first, so just for the beginning, just try to at least get close to it then work ur way up. Foods high in protein that I like are Greek Yogurt, Chicken, Lean Ground Beef, Salmon, and snackies such as protein bars (avocado is like the holy grail for a phat booty just sayin. It's not protein, but it's the healthiest source of fat there is!). As for other groups (fat n carbs) don’t be so strict, bae… just use your portions. No need to restrict urself from ANY food bc no food is “bad”. I can talk allllll day abt this one but ima just shut up for now lmao.

PHEW, honestly, don't mention the gym around me cuz I will not shut up. Ima gym rat at heart so like I could literally keep writing abt this but bc literally, like, 3 ppl asked for this, Ima just wrap up here <3

Hope this was a lil bit of help @gltzpzy @mybvalentine @icenbroo <33333333

P.s. would it be cringe if I said I sometimes use Miguel as motivation??? Like he’s watchin me or som??? Bye, I hate that I do that, I’m like actually mentally unwell bc of that stupid mass of pixels Sony created ☠️

[barry-j-blupjeans]

No one ever told Lucretia how hard it would be to get employees for your supposed-to-be-secret organization. Even harder with the fact that she couldn't even step around it like the Fantasy FBI could. All her opening lines sounded incredibly suspicious. Was she supposed to just walk up to someone and say "so you ever wanna capture those war-starting magic objects that you have no memory of?" She might actually be reported to the Fantasy FBI and that would put a bit of a dent in her "saving the world and stopping the Hunger" plan.

Instead, she had just been just kind of… going up to anyone who sort of seemed like a good fit and tried to make it sound as less shitty as possible without giving them a headache made entirely of Voidfish static. And it was working! Not as well as she'd want it to, of course, but she would take what she would get.

Maureen, obviously, had been there at the start. Lucretia couldn't exactly have a giant moon base without someone with enough money to build the giant moon base. Technically, technically, she was paying Maureen for it and she felt moderately bad about fucking up the economy with her transmuted gold coins (you pick up a thing or two about counterfeit currency when you're on the run from the apocalypse and also living with Taako and Lup), but not bad enough to stop doing it. Besides, the dang thing wasn't even up in the sky yet. Maybe she'd confess after, but it was too important to let out right now.

Then, she had Lucas, unfortunately. The side effect of working with Maureen. But she had other notable employees as well. Killian was probably her strongest asset right now, purely from her role as a Regulator and not a Reclaimer. Her Seekers were few and far between- she couldn't really hire anyone with too high of an intelligence stat, lest her whole plan be discovered. The few Seekers she did have were… well, they were working on it. The Reclaimers themselves… yeesh. It was hard to fill the role without losing too many to the Light's thrall. She didn't want to have a goddamn death trap as a job.

But right now, Lucretia wasn't looking for a Reclaimer, a Seeker, or even a Regulator. Today, she was looking for a bard.

A pathetic bard, if she could. There was only so much nonsense Lucretia could feed Fisher without going moderately to severely insane. The goal right now was to just find someone. No one that would be missed down planetside when they finally got up into the air, no one whose fans would be eagerly awaiting a new release. Just a plain ol' regular bard.

This was the fifth seedy bar Lucretia had visited in the past week. This time, it was in a little town called Water Way, just off the sword coast. The wind was howling when she arrived and it snapped the door shut behind her when she entered.

It was even more grim and disgusting than usual. A group of dwarfs was gathered at a booth, laughing and hollering jokes at each other. There was a couple in the corner engaging in some hanky-panky (that was the technical word for it, Lucretia was pretty sure). The unoccupied booths were still dirty from the last patrons. The barkeep raised a hand to greet her, still clutching a dirty dish rag.

"Here for a drink?" he called.

"Not at the moment, I'm afraid," Lucretia said. "I'm here for the, uhm. The open mic?"

"Just missed it," the barkeep said, lowering his rag. "Though, we've got another in two weeks' time, if you've got somethin' you're looking to perform-"

"Oh, I'm not- I wasn't planning on performing," Lucretia said. "Just listening. But if no one showed up-"

The door snapped open again. Lucretia thought it was just the wind for a second, until she turned and saw a young-ish half-elf in the doorway. He was much too dressed up for the occasion, with a fancy shirt and a poofy hat with a feather in it. He was dripping as if he had fallen into a lake on the way over. In one hand was a violin case. In the other, damp sheet music.

He seemed to realize that everyone was staring at him and shuffled a few feet further inside.

"Uhh," he said. He cleared his throat. "Did I, uhm, did I miss it?"

"I said to be here at six, didn't I?" the barkeep said, sounding faintly annoyed. "Can you tell time, Johann?"

"Uh, yeah," he said. "I just, uhm, got… sidetracked."

"You look like you fell in the ocean," the barkeep said.

"You're not- you're not super far off-"

"It doesn't matter where you were," the barkeep said. "It's nine now, anyhow. No more open mic."

"It's not like we're missin' much!" one of the dwarfs' hollered. Johann winced, and the barkeeper ignored the comment completely.

"But I wrote a good one this time," Johann said, holding up the soggy sheet music. Lucretia could see him blush in the dim light. "I- I can do it without the sheet music. I have it memorized."

"Two weeks," the barkeep said like they had had this conversation several times before. "Be on time. You want a cuppa?"

Johann looked torn for a second, but ultimately sludged up to the bar. He deposited his violin case on the counter and his soggy sheet music fell on top of it with a splat.

"Actually," Lucretia said, "I would like a drink."

"Atta girl," the barkeep said. Lucretia grimaced but went to sit anyway. She took the stool next to Johann, who was slumped over the bar. "What'd'you want?"

"Cider," Johann said, with the emotion of a depressed seal.

"I'll take a cider, as well," Lucretia said. Johann glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. The barkeep nodded and set the rag over his shoulder, disappearing into the back room. The gaggle of dwarves chattered on across the room. Lucretia tapped her fingers against the bar. Eventually, she built up the confidence to say, "so you play the violin?"

"I'm not interested in a hookup, lady," Johann said.

"Oh, fuck no," Lucretia said. "Sorry- no. You're- gods, no."

"Uhm," Johann said. Okay, okay, okay, back on track Lucretia.

"I'm just- I'm trying to find a bard for an… organization I'm forming," Lucretia said, a little bit quieter. Secretive. Cool. Collected. Join my secret shitty moon organization, please? "I figured an open mic would be a good place to start, but I was a little too late, it seems. If you still wanted to perform, I wouldn't mind seeing what you can do."

"…you're choosing all the wrong words for convincing me this isn't a hookup," Johann said, squinting at her.

"It's not," Lucretia said shortly. "That- again, sorry, no thanks. Can I- how would you like to help save the world? Is that a better opener?"

"Cheesy, but a little better," Johann said. He sit up a little and his hat dripped water onto the bar. "Save the world how, though? I'm not gonna be joining some- some Fantasy Avengers shit, lady, I got stuff to do. You see these arms?" He held out his arm, which was dripping wet and skinny as a starved kitten. "I'm not exactly Iron Man over here, you can't expect me to be some kind of musical tank."

"Not at all," Lucretia said. She vaguely wondered if this is how Davenport felt, hiring her. No, that train of thought wasn't productive at all. She needed more gravitas. That would fix all her problems. "All I need you to do is write."

[storiesofsvu]

Love Comes Quietly Ch 5

Future Alex Blake x reader Warnings: language, sass, teasing, mentions of sexual themes, alcohol consumption, intoxication, hangovers. Chaotic bestie Emily really coming through here.

Golf.

It was fucking golf.

Indoor mini golf to be exact. Swingers was an all indoor, adult aimed mini golf business that combined the usual putt putt with some of the best street food of D.C and handcrafted cocktails.

And yes. Emily had very purposely left out those details just to toy with you.

It started with a couple of rounds of cocktails, loaded tater tot nachos, fried pickles and you split the pesto burrata pizza and the pepperoni and spicy honey pizza. The vibe in the place was one of a social bar, one where everyone was having a good time, but it wasn’t anything too insane, and you were happy to notice that it was child free. You assumed that was because of the later hour, though you weren’t totally sure. You caught each other up on the weekly gossip while you ate, the best way to wind down after a long week of chasing serial killers. Emily was incredibly thankful to have you around, to have someone she knew she could trust to vent to and that you weren’t one to hold her the standard of being the boss when you were off on your own. You were thankful that she’d taken you under her wing, so to speak, and even more thankful for the friendship that came out of it. It helped you ease into the team even better; she’d been around with them long enough she knew practically everything and was ready and willing to fill in any blanks when you had questions.  

She managed to convince you into trying two of their signature shooters before you refilled your cocktails and finally collected your golf equipment and started to make your way through the green.

“Okay, but we’re making this more fun.” She declared as you wandered up to the first hole.

“What’ve you got in mind?” You laughed.

“Whoever gets the ball in with the least putts wins.”

“Yeah that’s generally how golf works Em.” You laughed back and she shot you a glare.

“Whoever loses on each hole,” she gestured to her beer, “drinks.”

“Now that, I can get behind.”

“And if it turns out that that’s boring, you take one sip of your drink per putt that you have to take.”

“Christ Em.” You chuckled, “that could be deadly.”

“You better not suck at mini golf then.” She shrugged and you laughed, snagging her drink from her so she could line up her first shot.

As it turned out, you definitely didn’t suck at mini golf, and at the start, neither did Emily. Which meant it was getting boring. Which meant you were implementing the one sip per putt rule by the time you’d made it to hole number three. By hole number seven, you were both certainly feeling the liquor, which meant you were playing even less well, barely focussing on the golf and more on the gossip.

“Hey, how’s living with Blake going?” Emily asked right as she hit her ball into the side of the ramp, letting out a quiet curse before picking up her drink.

“It’s good.” You replied, watching her wander down the green, “feels kinda weird to call her my roommate, but she’s the best person I’ve lived with.”

“She’s good people.” She replied, lining up her next shot, “and she’s respectful.” Taking the shot she let out a breath of relief when the ball actually ended up in the hole this time, “have you taken advantage of the pool yet?”

“No.” You laughed, moving to take your first shot, “hot tub’s come in very handy after a longer case though.” Swinging the club, it hit the ball and you watched it roll through the green and directly into the hole.

“Oh come on!” Emily swore, shooting you a glare, “new rule, if you get a hole in one, you have to finish your drink.” You glanced between her and your quarter full drink, letting out a sigh.

“Fine. But if I don’t show up for work Monday it’s because you gave me alcohol poisoning.”

“Absolutely not. Too much paperwork.”

You practically snorted at her response, chugging back the last of your drink before you scooped up the golf ball, the two of you stopping to get refills before moving onto the next hole.

“You need to convince Alex into hosting the next get together.” She started, carefully lining up her shot, “Rossi’s place is great and all but it lacks the whole pool and hot tub combo, that would just be far superior.” With a swoop of her club, this time she managed to land a hole in one.

“Better chug up Prentiss.” You handed her back her drink and she scowled at you, grimacing at the full drink and new rule she’d made up herself. She took a step back, starting to drink it as you lined up your shot, “I’ll do my best, I mean it’d kinda be like we’re both hosting, would take some of the responsibility off her.”

“Just tell her you want to host.” She suggested between chugs, wincing as she finally finished the drink.

“If you want to see me in a bikini that bad you could just ask.” You teased, prodding at her ribs with your golf club and she swatted you away.

“Murphy please!” She did her best to burp quietly, the carbonation fighting against her, “while I can completely agree that you’re attractive, you’re not my type, you’re like my sister.”

“That’s exactly what I said about you!” You exclaimed with a laugh, taking your second putt of the round, “you know… I think Alex might have a crush on you.”

“Okay now you’re really getting delusional.” Emily barked out a laugh, “are you sure you’re not the drunk one?”

“Which one of us just chugged a full cocktail?” You asked, landing your next shot, taking three small sips of your drink.

“I hate you.” She grumbled, ordering another drink as the two of you moved onto the next hole. “Blake does not have a crush on me, what got that into your head?”

“She started grilling me about how much time we spend together.” You explained, watching her start her next turn, “seemed pretty convinced that we were either dating or sleeping together.”

“Yeah.” She laughed again, “I’m sure the section chief would be completely okay with that.” Her first hit got the ball almost into the hole, “and what’d’you mean I’m not your type?”

“I could ask you the same thing!” You countered, “I told her that while I can obviously see that you’re hot, it’s not for me. Just because we’re both queer doesn’t mean we’re gonna jump into bed together.”

“Not to mention I’m your boss.” She sunk the ball with her second shot, taking two sips of her fresh drink.

“Yeah sometimes I really wonder about how that happened.” You teased and she shot you a glare.

“Fuck you.” She surveyed you for a minute, watching you line up for the shot, though this time she noticed you holding back just the slightest, not wanting to make the hole in one to have to chug your drink. “You know… I think I get it.”

“What?” You glanced up at her as you crossed through the green to take your second shot and she smirked.

“I’m not your type because you want a mommy.” Her smirk grew when you faltered your shot, the ball shooting all the way back to her feet, “which means that Alex, is exactly your type.”

“Okay now you’re delusional.” You laughed, “she’s my friend, co-worker, that’s it.”

“And they were roommates.”  She taunted, causing you to nearly miss the next shot, though you let out a breath when the ball circled around the hole and finally dropped in. You grabbed your drink from her, taking the required three sips. “Are you telling me you don’t think she’s hot?”

“She’s in the same category as you.” You started, “she’s hot, I can appreciate that. I can also appreciate that Morgan’s attractive, considering I don’t swing that way… that definitely means I don’t want to fuck him!”

“Oh don’t ever let him find that out.” She warned with a laugh, “or it will be a daily reminder until you either slap or kiss him.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.” You laughed in return.

“Well, Blake or not, you’re gonna have to find some opportunity to get laid sometime soon. Helps with the stress of the job.”

“Those toy recommendations are doing perfectly fine, thank you.”

“Yeah but that squirting strap would work far better if it was Alex using it on you.” Emily taunted and while you did periodically choke on your drink you managed to collect yourself, stepping up to her.

“Bet it’d look pretty good on you too daddy.”

“Ohoho please, you know it does.” Emily laughed though you noticed the way her cheeks turned a slight shade of pink, her voice lowering briefly “and you wouldn’t even be able to handle it.”

“Which is exactly why you’re not my type.” You laughed, “now pick up the ball, it’s your putt.”

Smirking, thinking that she finally had the upper hand, Emily glanced down the green and lined up her next shot. She couldn’t help but let out a frustrated swear when she immediately sunk the ball into the hole. She pouted in your direction but you simply shrugged, insisting that it was her rule and she scowled, stepping off to the side so she could chug the rest of her drink.

In an attempt to counter her actions on the next hole she took her sweet time, trying to not get it in right away. The only problem being that that meant she was taking twice as many shots, and as it turned out, she wasn’t very good at mini golf as the liquor began to hit. Each hole required her to take more and more drinks since she was using more and more strokes to get the ball where she wanted.

Emily didn’t remember very much at all past the thirteenth hole.

**

Alex woke up to a quiet house in the morning and since you’d graciously kept it quiet at whatever hour you’d gotten home, she wasn’t about to be petty and bang around the house. She wasn’t sure when you got back, she’d woken up briefly to a couple of bumps in the night, the beeping of the alarm code when you got in. Though part of her knew it was the instinct to want to make sure you were somewhere safe before her subconscious would fully let her fall asleep.

She filled the coffee pot to brew, making sure there would be more than enough for you considering your late night shenanigans and then began to poke around the kitchen for breakfast. You’d taken on most of the cooking the past couple of days and she wasn’t sure what all was left, but she found half a loaf of bread, some perfectly ripened avocados and four eggs left in the carton. The only thing she was missing was tomato, a rather soggy quarter of one left in a Ziploc bag that she tossed in the trash immediately.

Though that was no problem, she’d noticed some ripe ones in the garden a couple of days ago, so she padded across to the patio door and slid it open, slipping into the backyard. Figuring she was already out there she took a the time to water the plants, tended to a few of them, and ended up picking a handful of cherry tomatoes, a couple of small zucchinis and a few carrots. The sun was warm in the sky already and she was thankful it was Sunday and she could actually enjoy the warm weather, likely spend her afternoon out in the yard with a book.

When she wandered back inside she only pulled the screen door shut behind her, letting the warmth and fresh air waft into the house. She washed the vegetables she’d picked, splitting them up appropriately between the counter and fridge. The coffee machine quietly beeped and she paused in her task of food, pulling her faved mug from the cupboard and mixing it how she liked it, taking the much deserved first sip that she let out a happy hum at.

Glancing in the direction of your room she could have sworn she heard noises earlier, but you were showing no signs of being ready for the day yet, so she figured you’d get your own food later. She sliced up the avocado and tomatoes, leaving them on the cutting board while she grabbed a pan to preheat and opened the fridge.

“Is that coffee ready?” Your voice suddenly broke through her silent morning and she nearly jumped, glancing over her shoulder to the hall and her brow furrowed, closing the fridge to find you coming in the back door.

“There you are. I was a little worried, I thought I’d heard you throwing up earlier.”

“Oh.” You winced, “is she still puking?” Right on cue a toilet flush echoed down the hallway.

“What?”

“Emily likes to make up drinking games.” You explained with a small laugh, crossing through the kitchen to fix yourself a coffee.

“Turns out I suck at mini golf.” Emily groaned, finally making her way into the kitchen, “or…. I’m really good at it?” She glanced to you hopefully and you barked out a laugh.

“You got a couple fluke hole in ones. You were terrible.”

“Why is it so bright in here?” She grumbled, grabbing the sunglasses off your head before looking you up and down and realizing how you were dressed. “Did you go on a fucking run?!” She punched you in the shoulder before dropping herself into a stool at the kitchen island. “How are you not dying?”

“I didn’t mix my booze.” You laughed, “and I ate before I met up with you.”

“We had dinner there!”

“We had snacky food that we shared.” You squeezed at her shoulder.

“Did you want breakfast?” Alex asked, a smirk on her lips as she glanced between the two of you.

“Yes please.”

“No!” Emily groaned, burying her face in her arms before looking up with a grimace, reaching out toward you, “I’ll take that coffee though.”

“Ah!” Alex swatted in your direction before pulling a bottle of water from the fridge, sliding it across the island to the other woman, “no caffeine yet. You need to hydrate before you dehydrate all over again. Coffee’s just going to make you feel worse and it’ll fuck up your cortisol levels and make you even more jittery and that hang-xiety will skyrocket.” Her head tilted when all Emily did was glare at her and attempt to steal your coffee again, “you have to listen to me, I’m a doctor.”

“You have a PHD.” Emily’s eyes narrowed, “you’re not a medical doctor.”

“No.” Alex nudged the water closer to her again, “but I was married to one for nearly twenty years.” She turned her back, opening the freezer and digging through it until she found what she was looking for, presenting it to Emily. “Here.”

“I’m really not in the mood for a freezie right now Alex.”

“It’s made of Pedialyte. They taste better and work just as well.”

“You really are a mommy.” She mumbled, the familiar gleam returning to her eyes when she glanced toward you and you choked on your coffee, a stark laugh coming from Alex. “If I finish this do I get coffee?”

“You finish that and some water without puking and I’ll take you to McDonald’s on the way back to your place.”

“Promise?” She pouted in your direction and you laughed again.

“Yeah, just let me change and eat first. Maybe you should eat some crackers.”

“I’m never going out with you again.” She threatened, pulling another laugh from Alex as she turned back to the stove.

“It was all your idea Emily!” You called as you disappeared around the corner of the hallway and Emily scowled in realization that you’d taken your coffee with you.

__________________

@svulife-rl @clarawatson @hbkpop @momlifebehard @alexusonfire @itisdoctortoyousir @temilyrights @alexxavicry @evilregal2002 @alcabots @ladysc @dextur @disneyfan624 @augustvandyne @supercriminalbean @lex13cm @prentiss-theorem @happenstnces @whiteberryx @heidss @geekyandgay98 @onmykneesformarvel l @inlovewithemilyprentiss @allyofcl @desperate-gay @amypoehlfey @overtrred28 @emobabeyy @1974-sp @theclassicgaycousin @kalixxa @leftoverenvy @bigolgay @daddy-heather-dunbar @regalmilfs4me @scorpsik @riveramorylunar

[brighteyes-things]

Batboys "he's safe with me" moments

A/N: this was a random idea from one little TikTok video I had in my saved

Warnings: mild violence and mention of injury

Summary: moments the batboys knew they were safe with you, basically the moment you said "he's safe with me"

DICK GRAYSON 💙

He was exhausted the entire week but when Friday night came along oh boy

You definitely weren't expecting to see wally knock on your door helping hold up a tired dick but it happened

Why was he tired, there was many reasons

Such as covering shifts on patrol for Bruce, on top of his civilian duties and Nightwing duties in bludheaven, it just caught up with him

Wally explained they were supposed to hang out at the bar to shoot pool and such for guys night

Only for dick to faceplant on the table into his drink, wally saw that as his cue to take him to your place to rest

As you helped lay dick on your sofa and made him comfortable the words left your mouth

"Don't worry K.P he's safe with me, he always will be"

Dick won't say this out loud but that was the moment he fell hard for you

He always knew he was safe with you but hearing you say such made his heart flutter

He's so used to protecting others that he forgets he needs protection himself

Even if it's from further embrassing himself in public

He's thankful for Wally's idea to bring him to you and your kind words

The next morning he shows his thanks by offering to cook you breakfast in bed

You told him to not pull another Tim again

JASON TODD ❤️

Your his bf/gf so your already a badass in his book and he won't take no for a answer

But jaybird does train you for just in case emergencies when he's not around or can't get to you in time

So this incident occured a few months after you started training with red hood

You and Jason were walking back home at night after a date night, you both weren't paying attention as you bantered about what ice cream flavor was better

And suddenly you were both pushed back by a mugger and when you glanced up there was actually a group of three such muggers

Your boyfriend was about to step in and show them just how he thought about disturbing his night

But God damn he will never EVER forget the next thing he heard

"Awww you think you're safe with him doll face?, Your outnumbered"

The smirk on bird boys face when he heard your comeback

"Your outmatched, and another thing he's safe with me I can kick your ass as my boyfriend watches"

He was a blushing mess because he knew you were right

But those words "he's safe with me" stuck to him as if he needed to hear that

Ever since than he's been trying his best to be more open with you

He realized that not only would he kill for you if needed, you'd do the same for him and he loved you ever so slightly more for such

And after watching you kick ass , he made a promise to give you more advanced training

Just to watch you kick ass again with a smirk on his face

He's head over heels for you

TIM DRAKE 💛

The moment happened out of nowhere and he loves it all the more

It was you, him, and a few people from his team just playing video games spefically Mario kart

Even more spefically the Mario kart balloon battle and Tim was down to his last balloon

Superboy was about to pop his last balloon until the words left your lips

You popped a balloon with the phrase "try again, Timmy is safe with me loser"

Tim smiled ear to ear even if it was only in video game the phrase meant more to him than just that

It meant you'd keep him safe if needed and the way you put your yoshi cart in danger proved such

The moment is his favorite with you because of those words

He doesn't mind protecting others but it's tiring and when he's home he just wants to be Tim not red robin

And you do keep him safe, in small ways at least

To Tim, snuggles, kisses and quality time as a couple count as keeping him safe

He loves you more than coffee itself

Well maybe just as much as coffee

He still loves you though even if you're his second love :⁠-⁠)

DAMIAN WAYNE (aged up) 💚

It was after a mission with killer moth gone wrong that nobody expected

It went from looking at him hoarding lamps to a whole warehouse exploding with Damian and his brothers inside of it

Dami received the most damage due to being in the front force of the blow

It was dick that told you everything that went down and that he'd need a week's recovery at the most

Dami was not happy about the injury especially since it was from C-list villian that's hardly a threat

But your words made him feel slightly better about the bumps, sprains and bruises

"Don't worry I'll keep him safe until he's better again"

He almost teared up hearing such things from his beloved lips

He was taught either killed or be killed and he's still adjusting to the new ways his brothers and Bruce showed him

So to hear that you'd have him kept safe when he's injured and vulnerable felt alien to him

His heart swelled up with admiration for you and for the first time couldn't wait to be taken care of

After he did get better he took you on a date as a thank you for taking care of him

"I don't know what I'd do without you beloved"

He loves you body and soul and what you spoke that day sealed the deal

He Only has heart eyes for you

[multifandomshark]

Me and You Against the World

cast : Twins - Benny & Austin

It’s time for mother nature to strike back, accumulating her rage and releasing it out. To wipe out the things that wreck and destroy the world, black smoke was spread from the sky, water and land. There is no escape.

All the humans fell asleep after seeing and touching by a strange black smoke and mist. They couldn't do anything, no time to prepare or escape, they just fainted like by a snap of fingers. Then by a couple of days, screams rang out everywhere. Some woke up to strange creatures and were seriously attacked. After only a few minutes, it looks like they are revived and increased the population of the strange creatures. Some didn't even wake up in time. Died while asleep because they were attacked by a strange creature nearby.

Strange creatures, demons, whatever the survivor calls them. As time went by, it was known as “zombies” and the day when the black fog appeared was “the end of the world”.

After one month, those who survived fainted again. Fortunately, most of them were in the shelter they could find. Each person's symptoms are like having a fever, then woke up feeling some power. The power to save themselves. Powers that will help kill zombies. In order to save some, earth, water, wind, fire, and plant are the only powers that mother nature allows. There, you see that she is so generous and merciful, it isn’t an extinction of humans. They just have to go back to the beginning, survive by the basic.

But there is the one-in-a-million special case. It's the human last chance.

The day the black fog appeared, Austin is at home with his mother. He woke up and his mother rushed in then attacked him. But in the end, he tricked his mother into the bedroom and locked her in. Then Austin thought of his older brother, Benny, what about Ben, does he survive? Benny is at the shop. He has to go find him.

At first, Austin didn't dare drive through all these strange people. But when he saw that those people acted like his own mother, they attacked people. Austin then started to accept that his mother isn't normal. These people are not normal. OK, let’s hit the damn thing, ran over them whatever. Don't get in the way. Austin is rushing to go find his brother.

When we got to the bar, Austin tried to be quiet and slowly crept in. Benny wasn't at the bar area or in front of the store. He’s not at the back room that was a bedroom either. So there's only the basement left. That day, Benny actually went down to the basement to get some liquor.

What is waiting for Austin is not his Benny. His big brother has become one of them.

Because Benny’s a bit bigger than Austin, it took sometime to tie Benny to a pole in the room. Now, what will he do? How do I treat him? Is there a cure? Why it has to be my mom and brother. There’re no answer. Benny, you made me upset, why didn’t you come and comfort me like always? He felt so alone. Everything happened all at once. Austin sat there, looked at his brother and silently cried.

Austin decided to stay at the bar with his brother for now because there are enough supplies and food here, electricity and the freezer is still working. If he rations it well, he can last for days or weeks. So, does Benny have to eat? He saw people outside eating human flesh and blood. Will he have to find it for his brother? But he doesn't dare killing anyone. Benny, you’ll have to stay hungry for now.

Austin actually did some experiments on his brother. If Benny couldn't see him or smell him, he would be calm. But when he walked into the basement, He will start to get feral. It's dangerous to get close. So let’s stay away for a while.

In his free time, Austin got some tables and leaned them against the door and blocked the windows. Do not leave, do not enter. Do everything as lightly as possible because he fears that the strange people would break in. Don't accuse me of being unkind for not letting survivors in, he must protect himself and Benny. Don't come this way. Go. Run.

One month after the black fog, Austin fell unconscious again, when woke up, he hurried to Benny to see if he was still okay. If you can call turning into a freak is okay, that's good. He was tied up as usual, but now sitting with his eyes closed. It's like a hibernating bear. But when Austin got close, he suddenly opened his eyes and roared. Austin was so shocked that he fell down and got a scrape and blood on his hand. When he regained balance, he reached out and repeatedly hit his brother's arm, blaming him for frightening him.

The next day, Austin still came down to see Benny. But today is strange. Benny sat and looked to be unconscious. Austin walked closer but Benny didn't wake up. So Austin thought he'd take a wash cloth and wipe Benny face off some grime. After all the wiping, Benny still wasn't conscious. However, Austin saw that the wound on his arm disappeared. That was the arm that Benny was hit. The wound on the other arm and elbow also faded.

Austin then looked down at his hand, it didn’t have a scratch. Hands return to being smooth even though he just fell yesterday. Isn’t it like in the novel? Does he have special powers? Thinking of this, he ran to find a knife in the kitchen and cut his own palm, just get enough blood into the glass then wrapped his hand with a bandage.

Because Austin didn't want the blood that he had painstakingly bleed out to spill, he untying the rope, laying Benny down, squeezing his mouth, then pour the blood down his mouth.

Even though some instinct tells Austin it's okay now, he still locked the basement. Austin kept going down there to see the progress, give more blood for Benny everyday was extremely painful for him but the wound will always healed. Hey Benny, hurry and wake up, your brother is hurt.

Until three days have passed, what Austin tried to do was successful. Benny wake up, eyes focus, and remember him. There are no wounds on his body. He looks strong and fit like he's had enough rest for several days in a row. Unlike Austin who looked weak. Although his wound healed quickly, the stress did not go away. He keeps worrying about both his brother and mother, can't sleep well anymore.

When Austin had to sit and explain the situation to Benny, he’s crying while telling the story and also hitting Benny too. He complained that from now on Benny mustn't leave him, never ever leave him. Whether live or die, Benny has to take Austin with him. When he was exhausted, Austin ended up sliding down and placed his head onto Benny’s lap, burying his face in his brother belly and falling asleep.

Benny with his brother sleep on his lap, his hands kept stroking and combing Austin’s hair to lull him to sleep. He wants his brother to lie down and rest for a bit longer because, from what he told me, there’re probably many difficult situations to overcome. Benny thought about the guns kept in various corners of the store, under the bar, etc. The main ones were knives and swords that were kept in his collection. It's a shame but I have to use it. The sound would get the attention of the strange creatures, the less noise the better. Thinking too much made Benny fell asleep again while holding his brother close.

The two brothers woke up and looked for something to eat. They feel like they have more physical and mental strength and because they have each other. Benny told Austin to go prepare some food and put it in his bag. It should be enough to eat while they went to treat mom at home. Then Benny went to turn on the radio and keep searching for frequencies. Until he got the signal and realized that those strange people are called zombies. There’re also couple evacuation camp nearby.

Looking outside the store, they saw the car that Austin drove here that no one had taken it yet. The dents and blood from hitting zombies are still there. Benny also found a gun strap for Austin. They had a gun in case they were in trouble and couldn't use their swords in time. Each person carried a sword on their backs too. The big issue is the swords, rare and expensive. Austin’s is Gandalf's sword (Glamdring) and Benny's is Aragorn's sword (Andúril). Benny ordered them, handmade “beautifully crafted”. It's actually the kind that has a sharp edge and can actually cut. It's a shame, having to use it to cut and kill zombies, such a shame. Benny said never mind, our lives are more important. When they came to terms with it, they managed to lock the shop tightly, got ready to run to the car as quickly and quietly as possible.

Using the sword and some technique that Benny thought him, Zombie's head is really fallen like leaves. It fell and fell. When Austin has time to sit and think while in the car, he felt so scared that his heart and hands were shaking. If you drive a car and hit zombies, you passed by and never pay attention or look back. But this was his first time, face to face, close-up kill. While driving, Benny probably saw that Austin may not feeling well. He reached out to rub his brother head to console him. If we didn't kill, we might die. We did good and survived.

When arriving in front of their house, Benny went out to clear the way and kill the zombies that were roaming around. Then Austin ran and carried things into the house. Austin led Benny to where their mom was locked up. They held hands very tightly. It will be okay. We will get through this crazy thing together. The twins went in and tied mom up. Even though Benny doesn't want Austin to get hurt, now there is no method or equipment, so they still use a knife to get blood and feed it to mom. After three days, they have their mother back. The three hugged each other. Thank you for everything that allowed them to survive and still get to stay together.

The family returned to the bar to form plans, prepared supplies, and studied the route they would take to the evacuation camp. Benny told Austin not to talk about blood, to keep it top secret and pretending to be a powerless person, an ordinary person. He is afraid that Austin will be captured by bad people and experimented on. For Benny has fire power and mom has water power, they got Austin to guide them based on novels he had read. So Ben and his mother used their imagination to adapt when using their powers until they could release fire and water, large and small as ordered.

There’re also something, already passed that point and will never happen, that no-one will ever know. That is, if Austin didn't treat Benny, he will become the leader of the zombies, “king” who uses hellish fire to destroy millions of people. It is considered that Austin has already helped million of people.

There's still a long way to go for Austin to use his own blood to save humanity. Our family goes on a journey, not knowing that will there be life or death along the way. But he has his brother and mother, what is there to be afraid of? When we have each other, everything is possible.

…

end?

[ameera-bartholemew]

Guess what I’m thinking about rn?

Reader has a job, gets a big promotion for whatever the fuck, idk, business stuff. So the reader decided to take the boys out for a treat, drinks out in the town, good times, BUT turns out that reader is very lightweight

Yknow those girls who get drunk and immediately just start Hercules running down the street, and their poor friends have to go chasing after them? Matter of fact, those drunk girls who just endanger themselves by climbing on trash cans and doing dumb shit overall? How would the boys react to trying to get reader home in one piece when they’re like this? Would they actually try to get them home safely or just instigate and join the mess?

pls send more i crave

also imma make it a little story!!

—————————————————

The joy you felt was bursting throughout your body. All of the boys noticed the extreme happiness radiating through you when you walked through the door.

“Wow Highness! You seem very excited. Care to tell us what happened?” Erik spoke up, smiling at your cute skip towards them.

“Yeah tell us!” Matthew piped up, looking just as elated as you were.

“Guess what? I got promoted!” you shouted, jumping up in excitement. All of the boys looked towards you, congratulating and hugging you in support.

“Well then, I think this calls for a celebration,” James spoke.

“Yes! How about that bar downtown? It’ll be on me,” you answered, winking at the incubi.

“Fuck yeah! I’ve been craving some booze!” Sam exclaimed, ruffling your hair.

“Ooh, this will be fun! Let’s walk so we can enjoy all the scenery. It shouldn’t be too far, right?” Damien added, a bright smile taking over his face.

“Why not? I’d love to talk and see what’s been going up with y’all!” you replied, already heading to the door.

The walk with the incubi was surprising calming, and you found out that they were having just as an amazing week as you. However when you got there, you practically raced into the bar, the boys struggling to keep up with you. Except for Sam. He was already inside before you started running.

The boys had agreed to only take a couple of drinks while they let you have as much as you wanted, courtesy of you being promoted. James even resisted to drink anything, in case things went south. None of the incubi could even have multiple shots when they noticed you absolutely intoxicated.

Your words had already been slurring and your eyes shut one at a time. The boys already knew that you’ve had too much to drink.

“Alright, I think it’s time we head home.” James stated, standing. The brothers began to follow suit, but you crossed your arms and whined.

“Nooo, I wanna party and dancee,” you complained, standing up and wobbly marching your way to the dance floor.

For a moment the boys were stunned, unsure of what to do. You’ve never acted this way before.

“Come on, let’s go get ‘em before anything else happens,” Sam said, quickly walking to you. He tried to hold back a laugh when he saw you grinding on a pillar, mistaking it for a person.

The other incubi followed Sam, trying to corner you. However, you gained super ninja instincts and slipped away from the crowd and the boys, making it outside. They barely noticed until Matthew pointed it out.

“Over there!” Matthew shouted.

The boys ran towards the door and when they got outside you were nearby, trying to climb a trash can.

“Guys look, I’m climbing the Paris tower!” you shouted. Your leg had almost slipped in the hole when Erik grabbed you.

“Not so fast Highness! You’re coming home with me.” Erik spoke, holding you bridal style. You tried to squirm out of his arms and began to act bratty.

“Let me goo! Whooo are you, the French police?” you whined. This only made Erik tighten his hold on you and chuckled at your state.

“Oh I’m much better than that, darling.”

“Hmmm I like youuu.”

“Do you now? Well, I can assure you that I feel that same.”

“Should we get going now?” Sam asked, confusion on his face.

“Yes. Let’s go before they do anything else.” James replied, as the other brothers followed.

For some time you stayed compliant in Erik’s arms, falling in and out of sleep. Erik kept looking at you and smiling, feeling triumphant that he got you to stay put. However it didn’t last long.

You suddenly jolted up and managed to escape his arms.

“WOOO! Sorry I disconnected for a bit there, but I think it’s jogging tiiimee!!” you shouted, running back the opposite direction. The boys froze a bit before chasing after you. This time you were caught by Sam, who threw you over his shoulder.

“Alright Doofus. No more running,” he said, keeping you in a tighter grip than Erik.

“Ughh Officer let me outtt! I didn’t do anything illegal I promise, hehe~” you cooed, trying to flirt with Sam.

Sam slightly jolted at the nickname before regaining some form of composure.

“Uh huh. Well before you can be proven innocent I’ll keep you handcuffed.” he replied.

“Ahh Saaaam let me go pleeeasse?”

“Nope. Not any chance, Doofus.”

“Hmph! Fine!”

Eventually you gave up, trying to find any other thing to do. Luckily Matthew was behind you, making sure you wouldn’t fall.

“Hiiii Maaaatthew~” you spoke, trying to flirt.

“Uhh hi?” Matthew responded, his cheeks tinted pink.

“You’re so niiice to look at, let me juuuust….” you replied, adjusting your body so that you were looking at him upside down.

“Huh? What are you— MMPH!” he questioned before being pulled in for a kiss. It lasted for a couple of seconds before you pulled away and smiled.

“Whaaaat? I just wanted to try out a Spider-Man kiss on youuu,” you answered, trying to go in for another but Matthew kept himself out of reach.

“No more! Not until your sober!” he said, smiling at you before walking away to talk to Damien.

Eventually you and the incubi arrived at the house, exhausted from the whole ordeal. James had said that he would help you to sleep, causing the others to head to their rooms.

“Come on miss, let’s get you to bed,” James announced, holding your shoulders to keep you straight. You huffed loudly before nodding.

“FINE! Only because I like you.”

James carried you bridal style to your room. You didn’t really fuss, as you were more admiring his face, but mostly his glasses.

“I can’t believe you’re a fake…” you whispered while cupping his cheek.

“Hm? What do you mean?” James questioned.

“You’re not actually blind…”

“Ahh, well it’s merely for decoration. Would you prefer them off?”

“Yes. On me.” you replied, taking his glasses and wearing them on yourself. Upside down. On your neck. James chuckled softly before opening the door to your bedroom and placing you on your bed.

“Alright. Here you are, now goodnight.” James said before walking out and closing the door.

You laid down for a few seconds but then sat up, a few tears running down your face. You felt lonely. That was until someone popped into your room.

“Hey I just wanted to see— woah! Are you okay?” Damien asked, worry all over his face.

“Noo, I need you to sleep with me. Pleease.” you begged, beginning to cry more.

“Hey, hey. Don’t cry. I’ll sleep with you.”

Damien then walked over and tucked you in before getting in himself. He wasn’t sure whether or not to cuddle with you so he kept some distance. That was until you scooted up to him, head englufed in his chest.

“Mm, you smell gooood,” you murmured, taking a big whiff of his scent. Damien merely laughed before placing a hand on your head, pulling you closer.

“Good. Now let’s go to sleep…” he purred as you both drifted off into a slumber.

—————————————————

YAY! i tried to give all the boys some looove <3

[riotseas]

starter for @taleswritten , joshua gives clive a gift .ᐟ

One would assume Joshua's got up to a lot in his years. Born into royalty, raised to lead the Duchy—he had his work cut out for him. Alas, he was hardly ten summers before his life upon the throne was stripped away, thrusting him into a world beyond shadows and under hoods.

Though he was able to maintain some sort of excitement by traveling, it wasn't anything like a vacation. There wasn't time to browse stores or pay for services that weren't but bare minimum, nor even a moment's rest; and most definitely, there wasn't time to dabble in the arts of gift giving.

He's not sure when's the last time he gave someone a gift. He has to guess it would've been to Clive or Jill way back when, but to say it with absolute certainty is when he begins to doubt.

Now, Joshua's out of practice and of course, it has to ail him the worst at the age of twenty-eight, when he's far more cognitive and can do better than little handmade cards or rocks he found when he was allowed to go outside.

Several weeks had gone by before he finally settled on the perfect gift for his brother.

For all that he knows about Clive, he is considerably hard to shop for. What to get a man that hardly takes a break from work? If it isn't something that can aid him in battle, all it'd be good for is collecting dust on a shelf. So it has to be useful, something he could keep on his person.

The gift he decides on is admittedly more for the both of them than it is for just Clive. Unless of course he's unwilling to use it as intended, or, worst case scenario—he hates it. Then Joshua could just pawn it off somewhere to be recycled. Still, he hopes that won't happen, and he's not sure there's any other way to bring up the concept than to just show Clive directly.

This proves to be a challenge in more ways than one, as well as the only time a downside to sharing a room with Clive has shown its face; as he can't exactly keep the present hidden from someone that might come upon it accidentally during planning or deliveries. So, with no other options, Joshua goes to Jill—and just like he knew she would, she agreed to help him hide the gift with teasing smiles.

Although that problem was solved, there's still the issue of whether or not Joshua can actually keep the secret. He's not exactly the best liar, and an even worse one when it comes to his brother. He knew he'd have to act fast once Clive began asking if he was alright more than usual. There's only so many I'm Fine's he can give before those big, watery, blue-eyes pierce his heart and he breaks.

The chance comes sooner rather than later, on a quiet evening in the solar. A quick and near leisurely mission that morning, meant the rest of the day was spent lazing about replying to missives and sipping on hot drinks. Joshua stuck to reading on the couch to give Clive the space to work, but his means of passing the time slowly goes to waste when he starts getting antsy yet again. The gift stays on his mind no matter how many pages he flips through, and eventually offers to rid their empty cups to prepare.

The transition is as smooth as he could've hoped—Jill is already sitting on a stool at the bar chatting up a couple patrons when Joshua swings by. She practically glows when he tells her he's ready, and quickly goes to retrieve it, placing it in his shaky palms with a gentleness that makes him flush.

Joshua's attempts at ridding himself of nerves goes about as well as he could've expected. He pauses in front of the door to the solar and looks down at the box that contains Clive's gift. He picks at the ribbon tied round the top, itching to undo it for the tenth time just to make sure the present is in there and made precisely how he'd imagined it. Nevertheless, he manages to fight the urge, and with a wavering breath he steps back into their chambers.

❝ Clive ? ❞

He cringes at the way his voice sounds, and refuses to meet his brother's gaze. Instead feigning interest at something on the floor.

❝ May I steal you for a moment ? ❞

[thebarefootcajun]

Part 3: Henrietta, UD, Woman unofficial détective

Part 3

Henrietta cracks this case and confronts the culprit who stole the TV from Patrick’s and Patricia’s sitting parlor where they watched the 5 o’clock news on each day of the week and on weekends, even though there were second rate newscast personnel on those days. But alas Patricia thought news is news and it’s important to keep up with the local news, especially, how else can one be informed?

Patrick usually snored during the news and then Patricia brought him up to speed when he awoke.

So for this important day, Henrietta needed a hardy breakfast, one with not as much sugar as her fig cake and one that didn’t take as long. She decided on pain perdue, French Toast. She had watched her grandmere make that stuff for years, and now Henrietta had it down to a science, at least she thought so. It was a diabetic coma waiting to happen, but in her estimation it was better than the three cups of extra sugar fig cake.

Henrietta took out all of her ingredients and placed them near the stove on a little cedar table that she more or less used as a cooking side bar. The table had been in her family for years, actually her grandmere used it near her stove when making pain perdue, lost bread in French. She placed Cluck’s eggs from yesterday right on the sidebar so that would acclimate to room temperature. Henrietta was certain that everyone who baked or cooked with eggs knew they were best used at room temperature. She had placed Cluck’s eggs in the ice box, as it was called in the day. Remember Cluck only laid her eggs at 3:99 at the same time that Henrietta had her afternoon coffee. Well today that would be much too late since Henrietta expected to be back at that time for her afternoon coffee and to collect the afternoon eggs. She felt this was an easy case to solve and the couple would be able to catch up on the 5 o’clock news.

Henrietta dripped her coffee by hand first and left in on the gas pilot light that was continuously burning to secure that the gas burners would light. The gas pilot kept the coffee hot, almost caramelized and burned after a couple of hours but usually there wasn’t enough to matter because Henrietta drank three cups right after the other whenever she made coffee, as in three cups of sugar for most of her recipes.

French Toast Recipe for two, just in case:

Henrietta always made double recipes because you never knew who might stop by and if they didn’t which she hoped they would not, she would eat the second serving herself. See Henrietta had been taught not to waste food, like most adults living now learned back in the day. There’s always someone starving somewhere so eat all your food whether you’re full or not. Henrietta had a hearty appetite. She thought to herself that a busy woman like her needed good fuel to keep her going, and she could think of no better way to start this crowning glory day of sticking it to the culprit, whom she thought was Pecan, than eating one or maybe two helpings of French toast.

Recipe:

4 eggs at room temperature

Steen’s Pure Ribbon Cane Syrup, amount dependent on the emotional needs

One cup of sugar, but two is best, Henrietta wanted to make sure her blood sugar wouldn’t drop too much while confronting Pecan.

1 tablespoon of bourbon vanilla, if no bourbon vanilla better yet, add bourbon to taste and hers was a heavy taste. Anyway, Henrietta felt very sure most of that bourbon alcohol would cook out anyway. So she added some sugar and bourbon to the syrup to thicken it. Remember, this is medicinal, Henrietta needs to keep her blood sugar up.

And only use real butter, better if fresh butter from a free roaming milk cowed milked by hand. And Luisa was milked once a day by Henrietta herself.

Henrietta place a pat of butter in her seasoned, trusty, favorite black skillet. She let the butter sizzle and turned the heat down to medium. Henrietta preferred her pain perdue to cook slowly, caramelizing all of the good stuff sticking to the Evangeline Maid White bread that she used for her French toast.

She placed her four pieces of white bread into the skillet and she placed the bread slices into the creamed syrup, sugar, vanilla and beaten eggs.

Picking each slice of bread up with the prongs of a fork she dropped them into the sizzling butter and she did a little jig. Cooking was an art for Henrietta. She knew exactly where her food came from, all of it mostly farm to table, and she treated her girls, Cluck and Luisa, like family. Free of any additives it was whole food and good for the constitution of a 69 years young woman like Henrietta.

Henrietta carefully turned down the fire on the cook stove at low and watched the second side of her slices of pain perdue make music.

Finally, the bread was done and she took it off the fire. Sadly she had used all the mixture so a fifth slice of French toast wasn’t in the making today. But no one had showed up at the door yet so Henrietta was confident she would have a double breakfast instead of a single one.

She always liked to add extra butter to her toast and let it melt while the toast is still hot. She decided to add the other cup of sugar onto the four slices of bread just to ensure she wouldn’t pass out at the revealing of the culprit from low blood sugar.

And then she poured her second cup of coffee when she heard a knock at the door. And she said “Damn!” only a single breakfast for me this morning.

Stayed tuned for Part 4 of Henrietta, Woman UD, Unofficial Detective, after she meets her guest at the door and recovers from having only a single breakfast instead of a double one.

[newhavenrp]

Is that DAVID GIUNTOLI? No, that’s RICHARD SHIFT. The 40 year old ELF OMEGA MALE is a JACK OF ALL TRADES FOR HIS BROTHER’S BAR. If you ask their friends, they’re known to be ADVENTUROUS & ENERGETIC, but beware, they’re also known to be IMPATIENT & ERRATIC. Their friends also say that they’re into OVER STIMULATION & EDGING but don’t you dare trying SCAT, VORE, ANY ITEMS WITH IRON with them.

At the edge of our world, at the edge of the otherworld, the beautiful and mysterious faeries stand, watching and waiting to greet us, inviting us to journey with them as our guides while we walk the infinite paths of the Faerie.

Once upon a time, there was a couple of vampires who’ve been mates for a while and yet, hadn’t managed to get children of their own.

Sure, the species had been cursed from the beginning of their lineage and getting children wasn’t an easy feat like it would be between those of the were folk. Or of the fair folk. Or even the mixed bred ones. The curse that created the vampires was meant to make sure that they would dwindle and vanish eventually. But in a town where fairies and witches worked side by side and stood hand in hand to make sure that the people within the town’s frontiers remained safe, possibilities were endless if one was willing to seek them out.

Megan in her resolution to have children of her own had spent every single possibility that there was out there. From fertility potions for both her and her mate to actually praying to any goddess that was willing to listen and answer to her pleas.

Every witch she sought within the barrier told her that there was a possibility. And when it failed, she moved on to the next witch. Or fairy. The fairies were honest about it at least. If they hadn’t had their cycles synced up, the chances were minimal. But at that point, they’d lived together for so long that their cycles should have synchronized already. But still, no, that wasn’t the case. Until one day she finally heard a different speech. One that should have discouraged her from pursuing such path. But to no avail. She was firm in her decision. She wanted children that shared hers and her mate’s features.

‘It’s your choice and your conscience.’ The fairy had told her. Apparently, with the incoming change of seasons, those that served the Autumn Court would have their powers increase. Autumn fae were unpredictable in their whims but could be convinced to make a deal if intrigued enough.

Well, what was she willing to offer, in exchange for a child, one may ask… 'Anything.' That was her answer. And the fae was pleased. 'You shall have your blessings and I’ll come collect my due when time comes.' Oh, the dangers of making deals with the fair folk… And give them such power… Such a freedom to reign the prices on a deal. But Autumn Fae, despite their reputation, kept their word. And so, Megan found herself expecting. Alabaster was beside himself with joy, that they would finally have their child. The embodiment and result of their love and mating bond. Sure, little baby Dick was a bit erratic. Would burst out crying in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. But Megan was always showering him with love and kindness. And Alabaster turned out to be just as dedicated a father.

Such dedication granted them a second blessing, for Megan again found herself with child a few months before Dick’s second birthday. The baby hadn’t presented yet, but with both Sire and Dame being vampires, there was no doubt about his species. Will was born. Weeks passed. On the morning of his second birthday, Dick presented Fae. Which in and of itself raised questions about Megan’s faithfulness to Alabaster. But the pair remained strong, together and very protective of their children. And at last, come the first day of Autumn, little Will would present as a vampire, bringing even more joy to the already joyous family. And Alabaster would have the chance to enjoy his last year as Dick’s and Will’s father.

Megan had honestly started wondering if the fae had forgotten her. Furthermore, she had started worrying about the fae coming and stealing one of her babies and taking whichever infant they picked into the fae realm. Little did she know that the fae he had made a deal with had something else entirely in mind.

Exactly one year after Will presented vampire, Alabaster had to go on a hunting trip since he hadn’t fed in a while, sticking to Megan’s side as much as possible. But for some reason, that trip took longer than it should have and no one seemed to have any news or ideas about Alabaster’s whereabouts. Suspicion started growing inside Megan as for the reason why Alabaster had vanished. Could it be? The life of her mate, her soulmate for the lives of her two children? The children she’d be willing to sacrifice anything for their safety. And now she discovered that the only price that was worth their continued safety was… Well… Her mate. Her soulmate. Her alabaster.

And she did agree with ‘Anything’.

With Alabaster being taken, the mission to raise a vampire infant and a fae toddler turned out to be… Smooth. Out of her own merit, Megan still did most of the heavy lifting. And although some of the relatives of Alabaster turned their back on her, claiming that her unfaithfulness was what cost her Alabaster, she knew that it was all part of the fae’s part of the deal. Autumn Faes were not the kind you sought to make deals unless you’re desperate enough. And Megan had been at the time.

Strangely enough, two of her late mate’s relatives remained around. Marble and Rhyolite. Feldspar’s brothers. Rhyo had spent enough time outside of the barrier, reveling in the immortality of their kind and had dealt with fae in the past. From the Winter Court no less, and believed Megan’s tale.

Uncle Marble was the crazy uncle with crazy stories and, according to rumors, had been a prisoner in Faerie for a few decades and that had cost him some of his own marbles… Pun intended. Uncle Rhyo, on the other hand, found himself comfortable in a role of a sort of step father for the children, especially Dick, since his own nephew would never be able to see his sons growing up.

Rhyo never treated Dick with the disdain that some of the other relatives seemed to treat him with and the fae found himself wanting to never disappoint the older vampire. And when the time came and Dick’s first heat struck, presenting him as an omega, Rhyo was there to help him through it. And for years afterwards Dick would harvest feelings for the alpha, hanging onto his every word, touch and even… Command. And come that fateful monthly period… Rhyolite would be the alpha Dick sought every time so he wouldn’t spend his most vulnerable time of the month all alone and uncomfortable.

Dick knew it was wrong. He knew Rhyo wasn’t the one he was meant to belong to. But he just couldn’t help it. Sure, he also paid visits to Faery, in order to be connected with his kin and his magic, sometimes being out for longer than planned in the first hand, suddenly finding his heart divided between the forbidden vampire that had held his heart from before his first heat, and a fae from the autumn court, someone that sang the songs of the wind and the wildness, that told him the tales of The Wild Hunt. Someone that understood the burden he carried along with his powers and its weakness. Someone that had fucked him thoroughly in the Damask Fields, bred and knotted him until the sun rose, during the moment in which both were the most fertile.

The changes were undeniable. Seed had taken hold and Dick was with child, afraid that he might lose the favor of the vampire he admired the most. But he couldn’t help the joy and gratitude he felt as his belly grew. A child. A boy. His precious Andrew. And Megan was beside herself with happiness. Her children had grown up to become handsome men, paving their own path even though it had been rocky at first for Dick. But now he had found his place. His family was more complete than it had even been, despite his biological father’s absence.

The trickiest part, however… Had been conciliating the time between the men in his heart. That sometimes overwhelmed him and he eventually would find himself secluded in the fae realm, resting, recharging, reconnecting with his roots. Roaming the lands ruled by the Autumn King and Queen. Sometimes joined by the sire of his son. Sometimes not. It was after one of those trips to the fae realm that he realized that he may have spent far too much time there. 

During one of his trips to the fae realm, he returned to find out that his mother and brother had gone on a hunting trip and had been surrounded by hunters on their way back to New Haven. That led to… Some very rocky years between him and Will. Yes, Dick was the oldest brother, but Will was the alpha of the house and they both had vastly different opinions on procedure regarding hunting trips for blood. They would spend the following years blaming each other for their mother’s destiny but Andrew was still a child and still needed his father and uncle to raise him, just like Dick and Will had Megan, Marble and Rhyo to raise them. 

For Andrew’s sake, the two would set their differences aside. And at least try not to destroy The Dry Tap during one of their hissing fits.

Or fuckings.

[nickgerlich]

The Eyes Have It

It’s always fun for me to ponder the future, especially now that, at an age well beyond the halfway point, these musings are all about what my kids and future grandkids will encounter. When I was a kid, I think my contemporaries and I all secretly hoped the Jetsons would come fully true in our lifespan.

I’m not so sure that will come completely true, but we are inching forward. As for my kids and grandkids, I think the odds are pretty good they will see it all play out.



Until then, we have progress in fits and starts. Even though we see technological change all around us every day, there are still missteps being made, and for every two steps forward, often there’s an inch moving back. Or more.

The changes to come will be focused in large part on retail and food service, the brick and mortar structures we still use in large degree. Automation is the future, starting with ordering kiosks, food prep, and table-top payment stations in restaurants, to in-store robots that conduct menial tasks otherwise reserved for unskilled labor.

A recent report says that use of in-store robots will double between now and 2025, which by then will find 70% of stores utilizing robots for cleaning and inventory purposes. This will allow retailers to redirect employees into more customer-centric positions, or, simply eliminate them entirely.

But as I said, there  have been some missteps, most notably at Walmart. The retail behemoth had been testing large beeping robots that cleaned the floor, as well as did modest inventory duties. Unfortunately for Walmart, the test did not meet their expectations, and the program was eliminated in November 2020. The company decided to deploy those robots to its Sam’s Club stores instead, where perhaps its ability to track inventory—in a store with far fewer items and much larger forward-facing displays—would be more effective.

I have encountered those robots in both Walmart and Sam’s, and they do get your attention with their incessant beeping. For a moment, you may actually feel like the Jetsons have indeed come true. They won’t mow you over, but you do need to pay attention lest you turn quickly and walk into one.

Critics will of course be concerned about potential job losses. This happens every time there is a tech advance, but it also brings with it new jobs to manage and maintain the technology. I cannot speak to whether it is a 1-for-1 trade, but there will definitely be some displacement from jobs once staffed by humans.

And it is a trade we should be in favor of regardless. I have seen the extreme opposite in mainland China, with citizens out sweeping streets with handmade brooms before dawn. Yes, it is make-work, but it is a task that could be done by machinery. Mr brother reported seeing similar activity in Bangkok Thailand a couple of weeks ago. Everyone has a job, I suppose, but it seems to be a rather inefficient way of doing so.

By now you might be wondering why inventories are not tracked seamlessly because of bar code scanning at the checkout stand. Walmart has used this for decades, and it allowed them to develop and launch their own Just In Time system of reordering and deliveries. Aside from COVID and other related supply chain issues, rare is the day when you see a stock-out at Walmart.



But shrinkage—that is, shoplifting by customers or pilferage by employees—is not accounted for at the checkout. This number is the gap between sales and how many items actually left the shelf or, in the case of employees stealing from the stock room, never even made it to the shelf.

While Walmart had some misgivings about their fleet of robots, I suspect the recent study will play out. We will see ever more robots in retail settings, especially larger stores. I wouldn’t doubt for a minute the possibility of surveillance as well, especially since these devices already have multiple cameras onboard.

The bottom line is this: retailers are always looking for ways to run their operations more efficiently, which is code for minimizing labor expense. As I have said many times, unless there is equipment failure, robots don’t call in sick, complain about working conditions, or go on strike for higher wages. They just do as they are told.

I’m pretty sure the writers of the Jetsons never quite envisioned a future society in which we have concerns about labor costs or surveillance. They no doubt saw their animated robots as making everyone’s lives more convenient. It’s not that simple these days. I am glad to have a ringside seat to all the progress. I am not in any hurry for the future to get here. I just wish it would more closely mirror what I saw on television when I was growing up


Dr “Dream A Little Dream“ Gerlich

Audio Blog

[progressivemother]

Relationship Tip: Compromises & Communication

Marriage is all about communication and compromises. These have become cliches and I have heard of many calling it a myth. Marriage itself is compromise. When you get married, you’re literally thinking of what you want from life and your partner is thinking of what they want from life, and you meet in the middle to figure out how to make all those things work together because that’s what you’ve both decided is most important. The path up can be steep but you come together in the end.

You need to agree on what it means to compromise on important issues. A good place to start early is to agree on how you’d prefer the other person approach you with any issues that come up. My husband and I usually talk to each other first before we make a decision on anything largely important such as what type of shower we want in the bathroom or how we should go about saving for the home and for a perfect car for my husband to autocross.

With small things, such as buying a drink or snack, my husband will always ask me if he can buy it. We made a compromise where I take care of the bills and the budget. I grew up in a poor family where having this ability was extremely important. On the other hand, he grew up in a middle class family where is may be important but not as much when it comes to buying small things and his mother has always been a shopaholic. We aren't poor by any means but we did agree that we should do a budget so that we can have things we actually need, instead of buying things that we may want at that time. Sometimes we get something we want but the rule of thumb is to wait a week. If we still want it after a week, then we can buy it.

But the process of compromising doesn’t end once an agreement has essentially been reached, especially if it was a situation in which one party has clearly gotten their way. In this case, we make sure we show sincere gratitude toward the other. My husband getting another vehicle when he already has three or when I get more jewelry despite having a lot (I really like stones) are good examples. In any healthy compromise, that gratitude is what allows for the possibility of even more successful compromises down the line.

Holidays are a great example of compromise and communication. We need to chose which family members we would like to visit or have come to the house. We try to involve every family member we can but there are some on both sides that each of us are not fond of. We pretty much agree on who we don't like on both sides so it isn't too difficult but we still try to involve them. We make sure we are there to save each other from them.

Another example is household and yard chores. I am a clean freak and I usually take care of most of the home simply because I am picky on how it is done. The kids amd my husband have chores that, universally, are done in the same way in many families. The best way is to make a list of chores that each of you feel like you can excel at and what you are not good at. My husband takes out the trash, takes care of the difficult parts of the yard, and does most things with the vehicles. I take care of most things in the home, the bills, and taxes. But we both care for the kids and cook.

How often we socialize as a couple such as going to events is another compromise. Neither of us really like parties or bars, so we don't have to figure this out much. Socializing with friends separately is easier for us. We do know each other's friends and we get along with them well when we have a party at our home. Great cmmunication is important for this. We have to know each other's likes and dislikes and what activities we enjoy, can tolerate, and don't enjoy.

We have to compromise 'me time' and 'we time'. 'We time' is usually dates or hanging out in bed or on the couch. The steps to a compromise in this situation can be pretty straightforward. Identify the shared goal: If we are worried about how much this will cost then we focus just on the budgetary issues and brainstorm solutions. My 'me time' is usually doing my yoga, checking my social accounts, making a tiktok or writing on my blog. His is usually building something he wants for his truck or working on the vehicles, although he does want me out there to watch him at most times.

The last compromise I can think of is vacations. The main way to figure this out is to write down the places we want to go separately and then compare. Every time, there will be a country to state that we both want to see and that is what we agree on. If we don't have one, then we usually choose the top one or two from each list and attempt to develop travel ideas from there. It might seem like a lot of work, but it will make sure our priorities for the trip are aligned before any specific plans are made.

All compromise is a form of communication. You need to be able to communicate with your partner and find a way to compromise different things. It's important for a healthy relationship. Most couples, like my husband and I, have things in common and can compromise fairly easily but there will always be things that we don't have in common or we cannot see eye to eye. This where the communication and compromises come in. This is important for a healthy relationship.

P.S. Political affliation is never a compromise. Be sure you find out during the first date what someone's political affliation is. A marriage will never work between two people on the opposite sides of the political spectrum. I was lucky and found a wonderful man who was a leftist/liberal like me on my first date. We have been together for about ten years. We have two children and were able to buy a nice home at twenty three. He is great to me and our children.

[livingwithlosingyou]

Living with Losing You - 8/5/2022

Lots of laughs.

It’s technically a later post, but this is going to be a good one. Mostly. 

Today was filled with a lot of emotions. I was technically allowed to be “free” based on the CDC guidelines (as long as I was being careful) on the 4th, but since I was still testing positive, I had still stayed home on Thursday and most of the day today. I did run a couple quick errands, one trip to the GF bakery and then one to Petco to treat the animals. I have been noticing they’ve been a bit off too. I think they can sense what’s going on to a degree, or that I am just sad. My brother still has not gotten back to me, and I am getting a bit worried (he struggles in ways like James did). This is just the absolute worst disease. And of course with everything that’s happened, I am thinking the worst case scenario. It’s hard for my mind not to go there with how fresh it all is still. FUCK YOU ADDICTION!!!!!!!! 

Anyway, so ultimately I just ran a couple of errands and watched Pawn Stars again. This is my new favorite show. I love the random facts and tidbits you get from it, and some people bring in some pretty sweet stuff from history. (I am realizing how lame this sounds as I am typing it). 

I had been invited to improv comedy in the evening. It was supposed to start at 9pm, which is super late for me typically. I figured that getting out of the apartment (and being safe about it) would be okay. I will be honest though, I experienced a lot of social anxiety leaving my apartment after all of this. I have PTSD from COVID and just losing you. 

The group I was meeting up with ended up meeting at a local restaurant near the location at 8pm. I naturally came fashionably late, and wanted to do that since I did not know anyone but one person. I ended up really loving this entire group of people, and thought it was so cool that they all rallied together on a Friday night to support their buddy who performed in the improv show. 

After the restaurant we went to the show, and I haven’t smiled so much in a while. It was silly, exciting, etc. You’d be proud to know that they asked for a movie catchphrase and I immediately yelled “You’re my boy, blue!” very loud and aggressively. It was selected to be used for their scene. I was waiting for the opportunity to yell “PENIS!”, but it didn’t come. (Pun as well?) 

I got to meet so many awesome people last night. One girl I met travels the U.S, coaching ultimate frisbee teams, another guy was born and raised in South Africa. We ended up going to a bar afterward and played pool. I HATE alcohol, but I realize that it doesn’t mean I can’t go to a bar and not drink. I ended up actually buying a $10 viking balloon hat, balloon braids and all. I loved that this bar had other activities and things going. I really saw more dancing and people doing karaoke than I did seeing people with drinks in their hands. We should be able to go out and have fun without alcohol though, I have always thought that. Said it and meant it. 

What was really special about this moment when I bought the hat was, that if I am being honest, I felt a little guilty for how much fun I was having. I only lost you a short 3-ish weeks ago. It’s still such a fresh cut. It’s not even closed to being somewhat healed yet. well, the balloon guy was only really making a ton of intricate things like hats, butterfly wings, penis swords (lol you would have loved those). Well, he was like “you should also have this” and he gave me A HEART SHAPED BALLOON. <3. 

Thank you, James. For constantly reassuring me throughout this absolute heartbreak and devastation. I believe that this was you saying that it is okay for me to be okay, and have fun, find joy. The reality is a large piece of me will always love you and miss you, that will never go away. A piece of my will always want to share moments with you. I have to keep living though, and I know that you want that for me. You want me to create friendships, step out of my comfort zone, be the goofy and silly girl that I have always been. It felt like I had lost that when I lost you. I have to keep trying to pour that gold into my cracks, (referencing from my previous blog) and continue to learn how to be whole again. 

I wish you were here. Period. I have so many memes that I want to show you. I can’t go on instagram and not want to send you something. So many random things that happen to me on a daily basis, and I used to just call you out of the blue and give you updates. I remember the day before you took your life I called you and let you know I was eating chocolate cake, and I was very excited about it. #dietaryproblems 

Honestly, I still talk to you. Not because I am crazy (well... I guess that’s debatable), but because I do think that you can hear me. 

JAMES. Ugh, James. There still are not enough words.  

I love you.  Rest in Peace, James Burton Nichols.

You beautiful soul. 

10/1/1993 - 7/16/2022