#well its the final chapter so please enjoy...

[pascaloverx]

BORN TO DIE

Summary: In a tense political setting, a Targaryen bastard working as a prostitute is summoned by Prince Aemond to the Red Keep. Aemond wants her to approach his dragon, Vhagar, as a test of her worth. Although he plans for her to claim another dragon in the future, her immediate challenge is to survive Prince Aemond demands while trying to stay alive.

Author’s Note: This work is set in the world created by George R.R. Martin, as depicted in his book Fire & Blood, and none of the characters belong to me. The story will follow some events from the series House of the Dragon (2022), but with changes to fit the fanfiction narrative. Therefore, it will not adhere strictly to the series' storyline. This fanfiction is a work of fiction and may contain inappropriate language, adult content, and violence. Readers be warned. I hope you enjoy the story and interact with it. I apologize if there are any errors in the High Valyrian sections; I used a translator and am unsure of its accuracy. Whoever enjoys this fanfic and wants it to continue, please engage with it. Comment and give it a like.

Warning: This chapter will contain inappropriate language and adult sexual content. Minors should not read or interact with this chapter or this fanfic.This chapter will also feature Aegon II x reader. Those who do not like it, consider yourselves warned.

FOUR

FIVE (+18)

With your hair still damp, you realize you have no idea where the dinner celebrating King Aegon II’s “great conquest” is being held. As a dutiful girl, you stand outside Prince Aemond’s chambers, waiting beside his door. You are certainly not prepared to face any of the sons of the late King Viserys, that much is certain. First and foremost, Prince Aemond likely only keeps you alive for the sake of your dragon. His opinion of you is poor, and it will not be an easy task to change that. As for King Aegon II Targaryen, he has claimed your dragon as his triumph, and it is only a matter of time before he lays claim to you as well.

After what feels like an eternity, Prince Aemond finally emerges from his chambers, his silky hair brushing past you. He walks with haste, but you could swear you glimpsed a hint of a smile on his face, amused, perhaps, by how desperately you follow him. Eventually, the two of you reach a grand room, where a large, bountiful table awaits. Seated there are several figures—among them, you can imagine Queen dowager Alicent and Queen Helaena, along with men of importance whom the King favors enough to keep near. What matters now is that you and Aemond have arrived to take your places at the table, all eyes upon you, while you remain half-hidden behind the One-eyed Prince.

"Brother, come join us. Bring the bastard whore with you; I’ve chosen a special place for the both of you." King Aegon speaks, taking long swigs of his drink, his tone almost gleeful. Prince Aemond turns back to look at you, his gaze offering some semblance of reassurance. He then walks ahead, making his way toward the two vacant seats—one directly across from the King, and the other beside it. You hesitate, uncertain of where you should sit, until Aemond takes his place across from his brother. With a sigh, still unsure of why you’ve been seated next to the King himself, you quietly take your place at Aegon II’s side. As soon as you settle, Aegon seems to revel in your presence, a sly grin playing on his lips, while Aemond’s irritation becomes palpable. Queen Helaena remains composed, though it's clear she’s discomfited by not being seated beside her husband, yet she betrays no outward sign of it. As for the Dowager Queen Alicent, her gaze upon you is filled with disdain, as though your very presence disgusts her, a look of barely concealed nausea crossing her face.

"And what have I missed whilst I was out there, risking my life so that my beloved brother might revel in yet another triumph? I trust you are basking in this small victory claimed in your name, Your Grace," Prince Aemond speaks with veiled mockery, his tone laden with provocation, clearly aiming to stir his brother. The King, however, merely chuckles in response, rising from his seat as he lifts his goblet, maintaining a steady gaze upon Aemond.

"I have a new dragon under my command, brother. Celebrate this with us and cease your sulking—no more complaints. In fact, as you bring with you two pieces of news, tell me, who is the bastard that claimed a dragon on my behalf?" King Aegon II speaks with a slurred voice, clearly intoxicated, as he takes another long swig from his cup before seating himself once more. For a fleeting moment, you feared the brothers might come to blows right before your eyes.

"She is a whore who once worked in a brothel. By chance, I learned she might be a candidate to claim a dragon in your name, Your Grace. Her name is Y/N. One might say she is here both as the rider of Cannibal and as my companion." Prince Aemond speaks with an air of possession, making it clear that you belong to him, even daring to assert this in front of his brother. The King throws his head back and laughs heartily.

"This is an outrage, Aemond. It is one thing for this bastard to be necessary for riding a dragon, but granting her liberties is quite another. She must be treated as any other servant within the Red Keep—or worse than a servant, for the nature of this woman is filthy. I trust the King will agree with this," the Dowager Queen Alicent speaks, her voice dripping with the same disdain her gaze conveyed when you entered the room. Her sons glance at her, seemingly holding back laughter or mocking expressions.

“Filthy or not, mother, this woman will be of utmost importance in ensuring our king's victory against Rhaenyra and her bastards. To treat her as a mere servant would lessen her efficiency in what truly matters, not to mention it leaves her vulnerable. If the bastard dies, we will have a wild dragon without a rider on our hands, and that is a risk we cannot afford,” Prince Aemond declares, calmly taking a bite of food as he finishes his words. Alicent appears momentarily unsettled by her son’s reasoning, her eyes shifting to Aegon, as if seeking his support.

"If my presence displeases the Dowager Queen, I shall take my leave. With your permissions, Your Graces, Your Highnesses," you finally speak, sensing the discomfort your presence has caused. Rising from your seat, you move to step away, but before you can retreat, Aegon seizes your hand with a sudden force, drawing a soft cry from your lips. The king's grip tightens, and the flash of pain seems to amuse him. His gaze locks onto yours, not just with the arrogance you'd expect but with something far more unsettling. His eyes burn with a mixture of hunger and fascination, it feels as though he sees nothing but you, the intensity of his stare sharp and invasive, as if he seeks to consume and control.

The room falls into an uneasy silence as King Aegon II holds you in his gaze, the weight of his attention making your skin prickle. You remain frozen, unsure whether to meet his eyes or look away. The tension only breaks when Aemond clears his throat, the sound harsh, cutting through the stillness. The awkwardness breaks when you hear Aemond clear his throat, the scrape loud and sharp. His expression is dark, fury simmering beneath the surface for reasons unknown.

"Gundjabo, sit down. Your king has not given you leave from the table; and as long as you remain my companion, where I go, you shall be," Prince Aemond commands, his voice calm yet laced with authority, as though he were merely stating a simple truth. Despite the firmness of his words, there’s a measured quality, as if he’s reminding you of an expectation rather than issuing a harsh order. King Aegon II shifts uncomfortably, visibly displeased that his brother spoke before him. The tension between them is palpable, but the thick scent of alcohol clinging to Aegon suggests his ability to assert himself coherently is slipping. His eyes cloud with frustration, though no sharp retort escapes his lips. The haze of drink weighs too heavily on him, making him less dangerous but no less unpredictable in his demeanor.

"Dragons are delicate creatures; to tame one, you must forsake the other. Your survival will depend on this," Queen Helaena murmurs, her hand gently gripping your arm just as you make to sit again. Her gaze is heavy with sorrow, perhaps even anguish, as though she pities you deeply. The weight of her words lingers, leaving you unsettled and confused, though you dare not disregard the queen’s cryptic warning. With a quiet nod, you gently remove her hand from your arm, your fingers brushing hers in a gesture of respect. You offer a slight bow of your head, as if signaling your understanding, though in truth, the meaning behind her words remains a mystery to you.

"My wife’s mind is clouded. She must be in need of rest," King Aegon II declares, his voice languid, as though half-expecting someone to escort the queen away. The Dowager Queen takes a sip from her goblet, her gaze cold and unreadable. With a nod of reluctant duty, she rises, helping her daughter to her feet. Together, they leave the hall. It’s clear that Alicent seized the opportunity to withdraw, no doubt irritated at having to dine in the presence of someone she deems as filthy as you. Helaena, however, seems shaken, likely still grieving the loss of her son. You cannot help but feel a twinge of empathy for her. Having lost your own mother not long ago, you understand the pain of trying to remain composed after a great loss. The weight of grief can be unbearable, and you imagine Helaena is suffering under its relentless pressure.

"We should return to our celebration," King Aegon II declares, his voice thick with drink and a trace of a grin forming on his lips. "Soon enough, we shall be feasting over the defeat of my sister, the maker of bastards." He raises his cup again, indulging in yet another long sip. You quietly take your seat, trying to maintain your composure under the weight of so many eyes. Though the room hums with voices, you can feel the unwavering gaze of Prince Aemond on you, as if his watchful eye would catch even the smallest misstep. The tension lingers, but you remain silent, unsure of what fate awaits you in this unpredictable court. The fact that you are being watched by Prince Aemond in itself is not a challenge until King Aegon II begins to run his hand under your thigh. The fabric of your dress is what separates his hand from getting dangerously close to your pussy. You bite your lip lightly as you try to hide it, as King Aegon II continues to touch you.

It is undeniably awkward, feeling the touch of the King upon you, yet a gnawing intuition suggests this was his intention from the moment he chose to seat you beside him. Stranger still, Prince Aemond seems fully aware of the King’s actions, though his silent fury is evident as he continues to eat, his movements tense with unspoken rage. Deciding to test the waters, you gently place your hand atop King Aegon II’s, running your fingers softly across his skin. His response is immediate; a faint sound of surprise escapes him, as if your touch unsettled him. However, moments later, he pulls his hand away, only to lean in closer, his breath warm against your ear. His voice, low and thick with intent, whispers, "I shall be waiting for you in my chambers." The words send a jolt through you, and you almost choke on the piece of bread in your mouth.

The remainder of the dinner passes with far less tension once King Aegon II rises to address the other guests, his attention mercifully drawn elsewhere. Seizing the opportunity, you quietly decide to slip away, hoping to escape the lingering eyes and unspoken threats. Rising from your seat, you move with practiced stealth, making your way out of the hall. A walk through the darkened corridors of the castle feels necessary—anything to clear your mind from the weight of the night's events and to gather your thoughts about what may come next. However, your solitude is cut short when, without warning, a hand grabs you and drags you into a nearby room. Another hand quickly covers your mouth, stifling your startled gasp. Panic flares briefly, but then you recognize the touch, the familiar grip.

"What business do you have with my brother?" Prince Aemond inquires, his hands firmly gripping you—one at your waist and the other covering your mouth. Despite the inappropriateness of the moment, you find yourself enjoying his evident jealousy. He impatiently waits for your response only to realize that he must remove his hand from your mouth to allow you to answer him.

"Your Highness, your brother is my sovereign. Aside from that, there exists no connection between us. Should there be any misunderstanding, permit me to clarify that I harbor no intention of causing offense to anyone." You speak with an air of feigned innocence, aware that deceiving the Prince is of utmost necessity. Otherwise, your carefully laid plans may be imperiled, and you have not endured so much only to face failure now.

"Do you presume to deceive me? Gundjabo, I trust you understand the peril of attempting to mislead me. I am well aware that he was touching you, likely suggesting a meeting later. Pray tell, what could possess His Grace to take such an interest in you?" Aemond speaks with a sadistic edge, a near diabolical laugh escaping his lips upon concluding his words. You ponder how to respond appropriately but soon realize that a different approach may prove more effective. Drawing the Prince's face closer to yours, you lean in as though to kiss him. The tension in the air is palpable, intoxicating; the scent of Aemond envelops you as you claim his lips as if they were rightfully yours. This time you are in control of the kiss, devouring Aemond's lips. His tongue is battling with yours for dominance in the kiss but when you pull his hair back a little, you see him get lost in you. His hands now dominantly holding your waist, you using your hand to massage his cock over his clothes. Even though you just relieved him a few moments ago, he already seems excited. And then you push Prince Aemond away, pushing him away abruptly.

"I trust I have alleviated your doubts, Your Highness. However, should this demonstration fail to satisfy, allow me to use words. Your brother, our beloved King, desires from me what any other might wish. Do not forget, you refer to me as gundjabo for a reason. I wish you a pleasant evening, Prince Aemond." With that, you swiftly exit the chamber. As you leave, you hear a loud noise behind you, prompting a smile to grace your lips. It is evident that you are toying with fire, yet at this moment, it is the best course of action you can take.

As you regain your composure, you begin to traverse the corridors behind the chambers of King Aegon II. The castle is vast, yet your determination drives you forward. His goal is to gain some sort of influence over King Aegon II, if screwing him is what he has to do, it will be done. It wouldn't be the first time you've given yourself to him anyway.

"Are you looking for me?" The King speaks as he leans against the door of what you assume to be his chambers. Your gaze towards him is like that of a predator seeing its prey. As if the fire within you was ignited by your previous encounter with Prince Aemond, you don't take long to attack King Aegon II's lips, kissing him. His lips are like pure alcohol, you feel like you're losing your breath but not in a sexual way. He awkwardly tries to put his arms around you, but you quickly hold him against the door to his chambers. He doesn't know where to put his hands, he needs you to have dominance.

"Your Grace, we are too exposed. Queen Helaena might be nearby, which would be an inconvenience. Don't you think it would be more prudent to keep our distance?" You speak with feigned innocence, almost bordering on naivety. You even gently place your hands on Aegon's face, like he used to love you doing the times he went to the brothel.

"I am the King. I will not keep my distance from anyone I do not want. And right now, I want you in my chambers." Aegon speaks with a certain firmness, but the goofy way he says it almost makes you laugh. You decide to pretend to take him seriously.

"I am nothing more than your servant, Your Grace. If King Aegon II wants me, I must be his." Those words leave a bitter taste in his mouth but he seems to believe you. He gives you an awkward kiss and then pushes you into his chambers. As he suddenly opened the door to his quarters, you ended up falling on top of him who was leaning against the door. He laughed out loud, while you were already getting less horny. Then his firm hand pulls your face close to his, forcing a kiss on you. The kiss is hard, he doesn't know whether to use his tongue or bite your mouth. His hands are playing with the detail of your dress, which is holding the back of it together. In the middle of the messy kiss while you're under him, he unties the detail of your dress. This causes your dress to almost fall down and reveal your naked body.

"Be mine, you bastard whore. I promise you that if you give me your wet little pussy, I will give you as many bastards as you want." King Aegon II has a habit of talking nonsense after getting drunk. You're already adapted, you were the prostitute he fucked for a few years. You kiss him to shut him up, trying to show him how to kiss in a more attractive way. You suck his tongue, slowly; while your eyes are closed. You'd be lying if you didn't say that with your eyes closed, you can imagine yourself kissing Prince Aemond. Aemond may be a greater risk to your safety but he knows how to turn someone on like no one else.

"Your Grace, I want to try to do something. I assure you that you will like it." You say, practically sitting on top of Aegon's dick. Either your kiss is really good or the drink has already taken over him, because all he does is mumble something that sounds like an authorization. Either way, you rip the hem of your dress, taking the torn piece of fabric and using it to blindfold King Aegon II.

"What are you up to, whore?" King Aegon II says as he runs his hands all over your body. You tear the dress from your body, and any other clothing you were wearing. Taking advantage from the King's vulnerable moment, you remove the pieces of King Aegon II's clothing. In reality you only remove the essentials so he can fuck you.

"I just want you to feel good, Your Majesty," you reply, almost whispering against the King's ear. You giggle lightly as you feel him drag his nails down your thigh. Before riding his cock, you kiss him. In the middle of the kiss, his hands go to your face and hold you firmly. Then you position his dick at the entrance of your pussy, going down and up his dick. He smiles, even blindfolded; for a moment you imagine what it must be like to ride Prince Aemond. Him with his eye patch, would it be like this? If you could now, you would leave Aegon only partially blindfolded to get a better idea of what it would be like. The hands of King Aegon II, hold your breasts, massaging them while it seems that he wants to be connected to you in any way possible. You still going up and down on his cock, kissing his neck while moaning his name. You start to increase the friction between your pussy and his cock when you feel he is about to cum. For a moment between the moans of both of you, you throw your head back continuing to ride the King's cock, but imagining what it would be like if you could taste his brother's cock. Your reveries are only interrupted when King Aegon II aggressively touches your nipples, trying to stimulate them. The feeling is nice so you end up moaning even more, maybe even a little too loudly. It is then that King Aegon II, groping you, pulls you closer to him and kisses you aggressively. He bites your lip, with such force that it cuts your lip, causing some blood to come out. The taste of your blood is in his mouth, which seems to excite him as he moves his waist more as if he wants to give stronger thrusts while he forces his lips against yours even with your blood being all he will taste.

"Your taste is so delicious that it should be reserved just for me . Your mother was right, you are special. You seem to have been made to be eaten by Targaryens. It's even in your blood." He speaks against your mouth while you were still kissing. Shortly after he cums inside you, while his hands are pressed against your back. You could stop fucking King Aegon II, but you were too eager to feel something. So you continued to move up and down on his cock, grinding a little. King Aegon II didn't seem to mind, especially when you stood over him, kissing his chest, then slowly moving your kisses up to his neck, biting him lightly but you wanted to bite him until you ripped off his skin. As your hands were passing close to his neck, you imagined yourself pressing your hands tightly against his throat. But you kept kissing him, from his neck to his lips. While fucking yourself using his cock, at least that's what it looked like. Finally as you kiss him, you cum under him. He also apparently managed to cum a second time.

"I must leave your chambers, Your Grace. Know that I am grateful that you have welcomed me into your chambers," you say as you climb off of King Aegon II, removing the piece of cloth from his eyes. Then you start to dress again while the King, sits on the floor, half naked; watching you.

"There's no need to be so urgent about leaving. Helaena isn't sharing quarters with me. To be honest, I haven't fucked her since Jaehaerys died." Aegon opens up to you as you finish getting yourself decently dressed. Strangely enough, he seems genuinely sad, you just don't know if it's because of his son's death or because he can't fuck with his wife.

"I am certain that, in time, Queen Helaena will return to your chambers, even if only with the purpose of granting you an heir to the throne," you say softly, seating yourself upon the floor near the King. He approaches, his touch light as his fingers graze your face.

"I do not have the luxury of waiting for Helaena to grant me another son," King Aegon declares, his tone unguarded, as though he is not concealing the gravity of his words. "We are in the midst of war. My son was my legacy, and with his death, it is only a matter of time before my claim to the throne weakens. I need a legitimate male heir to pass the crown to when the time comes." His words are spoken as if ridding himself of his wife were a mere formality, nothing more.

"Your Grace will surely find the best course to resolve this dilemma, just as you shall win this war. By the grace of the Seven, you will prevail. With your leave, I must attend to the obligations of your brother’s company." You rise to leave, but King Aegon II seizes your hand.

"Outside these chambers, you may be a dragonrider, Aemond's companion, or whatever else proves convenient, but within my quarters, you are mine. My whore. Have I made myself clear?" His words send a chill through you, the bluntness unnerving. In response, you take his hand, kneel before him, and press your lips to his in a kiss, one that you strive to make seem spontaneous and tender, masking your dread with feigned affection.

"Indeed, Your Majesty. I bid you a good night." You murmur as your lips part from King Aegon II's, maintaining an air of composure despite the tumult within. With deliberate grace, you rise and depart from his chambers, your gown partially torn, the weight of what you have set into motion pressing heavily upon you. The realization that you are treading into the dragon’s den, fully aware that you may emerge burnt or broken, settles like a shadow over your resolve. Yet, no act of vengeance is without its cost. You understand this well. You shall endure, for the memory of your mother demands retribution—even if it should be your last undertaking.

"My mother was right about you. You truly are a filthy whore. If you've finished entertaining my brother, gundjabo, I believe your dragon would greatly appreciate your company tonight." Prince Aemond's voice takes on a deeper, more menacing tone, clearly seething with irritation. He had been standing near Aegon’s chambers, likely waiting. You offer no retort, silently accepting his words as you watch him stride away, his silver hair swaying with his steps, his presence intimidating and cold. All that remains is your hope that Cannibal will be in a forgiving mood, willing to offer you refuge for the night.

  GLOSSARY

Gundjabo - Prostitute

[lostxmelody]

finally.... green checkmark..... its over

thank you for the continued support! here is the final chapter!

if i were to voice all my appreciation, this post would be thousands and thousands of words long, so please enjoy the words ive written for mikoto and fuuta instead. it’s been a wonderful time writing these two, and in doing so ive been able to really break out of my shell and finally have the courage to interact in an online space. thank you!!!!!

[joelscruff]

feelings on fire (joel miller x f!reader) 18+ PART TEN

masterlist | kofi | notifs | *spongebob narrator voice* 4 months later. well, i'm not gonna bore you all with excuses, god knows most of you have heard what's been goin' on with me at this point lmao. but yall have been so patient and lovely and i really really appreciate it. i hope you enjoy this chapter; it's a little bit of bliss before things get... interesting. there's still more to come (about four chapters or so) and i'll try to update much sooner next time but please remember i'm only one person & i write this for fun (and for free) in my spare time!!! ik it can be frustrating when there are long periods between updates but i'm trying my best, please know that. k love u bye 💕 chapter summary: you & joel enjoy your little weekend getaway, far from the prying eyes and ears of your parents. rating: 18+ explicit warnings: age gap (reader is early 20s, joel is mid 50s), unprotected p in v sex, creampies, dirty talk, praise kink, size kink (joel has a big dick), tummy bulge, deepthroating (or...attempted deepthroating), cum swallowing, fingering, pussy kisses, ridiculous amounts of fluff, namedropping one of my fav songs of all time because i can, the tiniest mention of sexual assault (aka noah) word count: 12.9k ao3

You think you might finally understand what it means to experience happiness.

Not the feelings you've faked for most of your life, not the plastered-on smiles and faux giggles, autopilot prayers and forced gratitude. No - real happiness. That tingling sensation of nothing but pure bliss, safety, love, and peace, something that's felt far out of your reach for most of your life. It swells in your chest, makes a home in your heart as you nuzzle into fluffy pillows, warm bedsheets, and feel yourself drift in and out of consciousness, completely and utterly relaxed. Happy, you can't help but think to yourself, I'm so happy.

You're aware of Joel's presence, fading in and out here and there as he wipes a damp cloth between your legs, across your stomach, down your thighs - taking care of you, making sure you're comfortable. Afterward he cuddles in behind you and wraps his arms around your middle, buries his face in the back of your neck and inhales deeply; you wonder if he's feeling the exact same way you are right now - god, you hope he is.

"That felt so good," you murmur to him softly, eyes still closed, "Felt so good, Joel."

He kisses your neck, holds you tighter in his embrace, "I know, babygirl."

"Can still feel you inside me," you breathe, "It's like you're still there."

He chuckles softly, "Not to burst your bubble but that's probably cum. Couldn't get all of it with the cloth." The words that should be dirty - should seem shameful - do nothing but send a warm tingle down your spine, a sleepy smile to your face. You know he's right - you can still feel something warm deep inside you, a slow trickle making its way to your opening, but there's something else. You're still pulsing every so often around the phantom of a shape, an echo of what was still there only a few moments ago.

"It's not just that," you shuffle in the sheets, nuzzling your face further into the pillow, "it's like... like you're still in there, spreading me open."

He groans and his grip around you tightens, fingertips pressing into the malleable softness of your belly. He leans down to press a small kiss to your ear, "Can't just say stuff like that, angel. Gonna get me hard again." You shiver.

"Good," you whisper, "'Cause I want you to do it again."

His legs tangle with yours under the sheets as he pulls you in, scruff nuzzling against the bare skin of your shoulder, "We'll wait a little bit," he murmurs, "You're gonna start feelin' a little sore soon, if you don't already."

"I don't," you breathe, and you mean it. "Doesn't hurt at all, really. It... it didn't hurt. I always thought it would hurt."

You can almost feel his frown against your skin, "S'not supposed to hurt," he murmurs, "Woulda stopped if you'd been in any pain."

You smile, "I know you would've."

He hums into your hair, strokes his hand down along your arm, "S'good," he mumbles, and you're suddenly aware of the heaviness in his voice, the way his lips wrap lazily around the words.

"Are you sleepy?" you ask softly.

"Yeah, baby," he breathes, "M'sleepy."

You smile at the adorable admission, then lean back into his embrace and settle in. The sun is starting to go down, casting the room in long orange and blue shadows, warm and comforting. Your eyes close again and you focus on that blissful feeling, on the weight of Joel's naked body behind you holding you close, the sound of his breathing, his smell. On the fact that you've never felt more safe in your entire life.

"I'm so glad it was you," you whisper, and you don't mind if he's already fallen asleep.

--

You're not sure how long you both nap, but you wake up soon after to a completely dark hotel room, save for the flickering lights from the traffic below and the warm glow of the buildings outside the window. Your eyes flutter for a few seconds as your brain reconnects you to the present, and you're suddenly very aware of a dull ache in your groin, an unpleasant throb that hadn't been there earlier.

"Ow," you mumble incoherently, reaching blindly for the blankets and pulling them back to peer down at yourself, but the room is so dark that it's difficult to see anything properly, "Ow."

"S'wrong?" you hear Joel mumble beside you, stirring from his own slumber.

You wince in embarrassment, shaking your head, "It's nothing, go back to sleep."

"Y'said 'ow'," you feel him sit up and reach over to turn on the lamp, "You okay?"

As soon as the lamplight floods the room your eyes cast downward, half expecting to see some medical emergency, some horrific reason for the vacation to end early, to ruin everything before it's barely even started - but thankfully it's none of those things. You're just a little swollen - puffier than usual - and aching, but not in a good way. You bring your hand down and cup yourself gently, hissing a bit when your fingers brush against your opening; it feels almost like a bruise.

"Oh, honey," Joel murmurs, and you turn your head to see his brows furrowing in concern, "Y'sore?"

You wince, biting your lip, "Um, a little."

He frowns and pulls his own side of the blankets back, and you can't help the warmth that floods your cheeks when you see his exposed body; the dark hair wisping across his tan skin, his soft belly and strong thighs - and his cock, soft and heavy and impossible not to look at. You've seen him naked several times at this point but every time still somehow feels like the first, like it's brand new. You watch as he crawls downward and gently places his hand on top of yours.

"Lemme see," he murmurs softly, and you allow him to pull your hand back, exposing your sore pussy to him. His brow furrows, "Aw baby, you're all swollen."

"Is that normal?"

He nods, eyes still trailing up and down, "It's normal," he assures you, "It's probably worse 'cause - well," he smiles sheepishly, peering up at you.

"'Cause you're so big," you finish for him, your own lips turning up into a smirk, and he chuckles.

"Yeah, that." You watch as he brings his hands down and very carefully thumbs your outer lips, pulls them apart to assess what's inside. He groans, and you're about to ask what's wrong when you see a thin stream of his cum dribble out onto the sheets below.

"Fuck," you both whisper at the same time, and when your eyes meet you can see that his are suddenly dark, glassy. You feel yourself begin to throb beneath his touch.

"Still full o'me," he murmurs, eyes trailing back down to where you're dripping, "Messy girl."

Your own eyes go hooded as you watch him lean down and press a small kiss to your clit; your hips buck up, a whimper slipping past your lips as his whiskers prickle deliciously against your sensitive skin. He smiles against you, kisses your clit again and darts his tongue out to taste, just for a moment. You whine.

"I know what you need, babygirl" he whispers, nosing your mound and closing his eyes, "I know what'll help."

Your mind races with possibilities. "Wh-what?"

He suddenly pulls back, crooked smile lighting up his beautiful face, "A bath. It'll help with the soreness." Oh. He presses another kiss to your clit, "If I can bring myself to stop kissin' this perfect pussy."

You giggle softly and he opens his eyes to look up at you again, smiling tenderly. He reluctantly pulls himself off you and climbs off the bed, reaching down to grab his discarded underwear from the floor. "I'll start runnin' the water," he tells you softly, pulling them on and taking a step forward to brush your hair out of your face, "You just relax, sweet girl. Don't move a muscle."

The bath is warm and inviting, lit candles lining the counter and floor and dousing the room in a warm glow; it's hard to believe only a few hours earlier you were on the verge of a panic attack on these very tiles. Now you lean back against the cool rim of the claw foot tub, eyes closed as you submerge yourself in the hot water. There's no panic or anxiety in your body anymore, just warmth and comfort and the welcome ache in your groin, the smell of vanilla in your nose.

"Good temp?" Joel asks softly nearby, and you hear his hand breach the surface of the water, testing the heat. You smile.

"Perfect," you breathe, eyes still closed, "Thank you."

His hand brushes lightly against yours under the water and he squeezes it gently, then murmurs, "I'll give you some privacy."

Your eyes snap open, "No," you cradle his hand in both of yours as your brows furrow, "Stay."

A smile breaks across his face, charming and boyish as he seats himself down next to the bathtub with barely any hesitation, like he'd been hoping you'd say that. He keeps hold of your hand beneath the water and tilts his face toward yours - you press your forehead against his and breathe a long sigh of relief.

"Feelin' okay?" he murmurs, "Emotionally?"

You nod, sighing contentedly, "More than okay," you whisper, "I... I still can't believe it actually happened." Your lips twitch upward and you press a soft kiss to his cheek, closing your eyes, "Thank you."

He squeezes your hand again beneath the water before pulling out and bringing it upwards to cradle your face, tilting your head to look at him. His eyes are still a bit sleepy, hair sticking up in all directions and that beautiful smile still lighting up his face as he thumbs your cheek.

"I should be thankin' you," he breathes, "For trustin' me like that, bein' so vulnerable with me." He leans in to kiss you tenderly, but his words send a sudden flutter of insecurity through your body and you pull back to look at him again, unsure.

"Was I... was I good at it?" you ask quietly, "Did I do okay?"

"Oh, angel," he murmurs, bringing his other hand up to cup both your cheeks and brush his nose gently against yours, "You did so good. So, so, so good."

He ends up washing your hair, a small but significant gesture that makes the feelings from earlier bubble up again, the warm fondness and tenderness and love. You lean back in the tub, eyes closed, lost in the sensations of his big hands deftly applying the shampoo and conditioner, massaging it into your scalp and making your eyes roll back. It's ridiculous how even this makes you throb beneath the surface, the ache dissipating a bit in the hot water. So much so that when he caps the conditioner and rinses your hair once again, you reach up to take his hand and squeeze, eyes still shut.

"Touch me," you whisper, voice already desperate, "Please."

He doesn't need any convincing, inching toward the side of the tub and reaching inside to cup your pussy in his big hand again, softly rubbing your clit. You whimper and tremble, gripping the edge of the tub for support and whining when he speeds up, circling and rubbing it exactly how you like it.

"Poor little pussy," you hear him murmur, "Just needs some relief after gettin' fucked like that, doesn't she baby?"

"Mmhmm," you manage to hum, squeezing the sides of the tub and nodding furiously, "Y-yeah."

"Took so much cock in this little hole," he whispers, and that's enough to send you over the edge, eyes snapping open as you shake and shiver in the hot water. You see him sitting there, smiling at you with a devious glint in his eyes. He knows exactly the effect he has on you.

--

"What do we do now?" you ask him softly from the couch a little while later, carefully scrunching a towel in your hair and watching as he changes the bedsheets upon your request - you'd felt a bit embarrassed asking, but you'd really rather not sleep in a wet spot. He'd been more than gracious in honoring your request.

It's late, but the nap and the bath have left you feeling wide awake, and you have to admit that you're feeling a bit hungry too despite the full meal earlier. Does sex make you hungry? You file it as a question to ask Tasha.

"Whatever you wanna do, darlin'," he says with a smile, turning down the sheets and gesturing for you to join him in bed again, "C'mere."

You give your hair one last squeeze and pad over to the bed, clad in Joel's Grateful Dead shirt from earlier today. You don't care in the slightest that it's not necessarily the cleanest article of clothing to be wearing after a bath - it smells like him, feels like him. You just can't get enough of him.

Insatiable.

You both climb back into bed and he pulls you in immediately, tugging you close and wrapping his big arms around you. You lean back into him and feel yourself grinning without even really thinking about it, eyes closing as you focus on the feeling of his chest moving back and forth against your back with every breath.

"Always look so pretty in my shirts, babygirl," he whispers in your ear, and it sends tingles down your spine, a rush of warmth to your heart. He kisses you gently and you listen as he inhales deeply, nose buried in your damp hair. His hand travels downward and you both watch as he cups your pussy yet again, warm and soft.

"Feelin' a little better?" he asks quietly, thumb trailing gently up and down your outer lips, "Still sore?"

"Better," you reassure him gently - and you mean it; the warm water did help to ease the ache.

He hums and continues to trace your soft lips, nosing your ear and breathing deeply again, and fuck, you could get used to this. This casual intimacy, being touched without any expectations, any fear or anxiety. Feeling safe and wanted and cared for in his embrace, no worrying about getting home early, no time limit looming. Just you and him.

I love you, you want to whisper.

Your stomach growls.

He removes his hand almost immediately. "Room service," he says with a chuckle, and your eyes snap open again as he reaches over and grabs the menu on the nightstand, placing it in front of you both, "Pick your poison."

Your eyes are drawn almost immediately to the dessert section, followed by a short wave of guilt. You're craving something sweet, but you can't help but think back to being a kid again, asking for treats and being denied, feeling as if your desires were unimportant, childish, silly.

But no, you're not that scared kid anymore. You're not. You won't be.

You bite your lip, "You know what I could really go for right now?"

"What?"

"It's silly, but-"

"It ain't silly, babygirl," he murmurs, and his big hand travels down to squeeze your thigh gently, a comforting gesture, "Whatever it is, it ain't silly."

Less than a minute later he's on the phone with room service, ordering you a hot fudge sundae.

You spend the rest of the night nestled in the warmth of your hotel bed, flicking between channels, legs tangled together beneath the sheets as you take turns scooping heaping spoons of ice cream back and forth. Your mouth and fingertips are sticky, chocolate lining your lips, dribbles of melted vanilla dolloped on your chin which Joel wastes no time in delicately lapping up with his tongue.

"God, you're so fuckin' sweet," he whispers to you, kisses you softly, darts his tongue out to taste again. You hum against his lips and try to keep your emotions at bay; he tastes like chocolate and vanilla and safety.

--

Waking up is different with the morning sun shining brightly through the hotel windows, but that's not the only thing that's different; you notice as your eyes flutter open that the ache in your groin is gone, replaced by a growing hunger and arousal in the pit of your stomach.

Oh, wow.

Joel's arms are around you, wrapped strong and solid, and when you turn within them and see him sleeping next to you, the hunger only grows. God, he's so handsome like this - the grey in his hair sparkling in the early light, jaw soft and lax with sleep, cheeks flushed. Almost angelic in his own way, gentle and peaceful.

Until his eyelashes begin to flutter delicately against the streams of sunlight, brow furrowing in sleepy confusion at your sudden movement; he's awake.

The desire in your belly burns.

"You look so cute," you whisper without even really thinking about it, and his eyelashes halt their fluttering to give you another look of confusion.

"Cute's not exactly a word I'd use to describe myself," he mumbles, voice thick with sleep, "S'all you."

"Well, I would," you reply with a smile, watching as he closes his eyes again and nestles his face into the pillow. You reach forward to gently thumb one of the lines at the corner of his mouth, deep-set and soft beneath your touch. His eyelids twitch but he doesn't open them, "You're so soft too," you admit quietly.

"Again," he breathes, lips turning up slightly into a sleepy smile, "Not a word I'd use."

"Cute and soft," you repeat, thumb moving downward to trace the shape of his bottom lip, "And mine."

He chuckles under his breath, face smooshing a little more into the pillow, "M'yours," he murmurs, "all yours."

All yours.

You lean in even closer and inhale deeply, nose trailing up and down along his temple. Your eyes almost roll back at the scent of him, the masculine and heady aroma of his sweat alighting your senses. You're wide awake now, pussy throbbing somewhere below as you press a kiss to the apple of his cheek, tongue darting out to taste his skin.

His eyes open halfway, eyebrow raising as he sleepily watches you work your mouth up and down the side of his face, breath coming quicker and more frantic as your legs wind around him under the sheets. Obliging your desperation, his big arms tighten around you and he rolls the both of you, allowing you to settle on top of his large, warm body.

You stare down at him, hunger clear in your eyes.

"You were inside me," you whisper.

His mouth turns up at the corners, "I was."

"It felt really good."

"It did."

You lean your face down to trace your nose along his cheekbone again, eyes hooded, voice needy.

"I want you to be inside me again."

He peers up at you, sleepiness already fading from his expression as he watches yours with mirrored desire, "Yeah? You want me to be inside you right now?"

You nod, "Yes, please."

"Then turn over on your side, angel."

A little confused but certainly not opposed, you do as he says, rolling back over onto your side and resting your head softly against your pillow. You feel his hand dip downwards beneath the sheets, then his fingertips glide smoothly along your abdomen. Your heart hammers in your chest when he lifts up your - or rather, his - shirt and thumbs your tummy gently.

"Are y'still sore?" he murmurs, "How d'you feel?"

"M'wet, Joel," you whimper, grinding back against the blankets and trying to feel him, "M'really wet."

"Lemme feel," he breathes, hand trailing downward even further. His fingers dip into your soft, soaked centre and a low groan rumbles in his throat, "Oh babygirl, so wet for me."

"Put it in," you whimper, not caring how pathetic and needy you probably sound, "Please, Joel, put it in me again."

"Christ," you hear him mutter, arousal burning in his voice, "Okay baby, hold still, I'll put it in. I'll make you feel better."

Seconds later you feel the heat of his tip crowding the space at your entrance, already wet and sticky. A soft moan falls from your throat at the sensation, eyes closing as you feel Joel's hand cup your leg and pull it upwards, holding you open. He hooks it in the crook of his arm, shuffling forward a bit and pushing the head of his cock inside your heat.

"Oh, fuck," you whine, head falling backwards. You feel his nose in your hair again, feel the stretch of your pussy and the widening of your thighs as he pulls your leg up even more.

"Yeah, there you go," he murmurs, pushing inside further. He goes slow, takes his time, until he's fully sheathed inside of you and your eyes are rolling back on their own accord, quiet whimpers tumbling past your lips. "Yeah, look at you takin' that cock."

As if by muscle memory your hand reaches downwards to cup the protruding shape of him at the bottom of your tummy, a low whine in your throat. He's so big inside you, nestled perfectly within the deepest parts of your body just like he'd been last night, large and warm.

"Feels so good," you manage to gasp out, other hand clenching into a fist against your pillow, "So good, so good." It's almost a mantra, voice breathless as you squish your face against the cotton and push back almost lazily against him, his balls settling heavy and warm at the base of your ass. You can feel every twitch of his shaft, the way the tip pulses against that special spot within.

"Yeah, you like bein' full like that, don't you baby?" he murmurs, "Don't even need me to move, do you? Just like feelin' it in there, huh?"

And you almost hate how right he is, how just the sensation of being so full of him already has you on the edge of an orgasm without any stimulation. Because you want more, you want what he gave you last night, want him to fuck you even firmer, deeper, without holding back. You want it to last hours.

But you know it's too much before he even starts to move, that familiar ache in your groin returning as your walls constrict around the long shape of him. He pulls out slowly, takes his time, pushes back in at a snail's pace. You feel a tickling sensation against your clit, his pubic hair pressing deliciously against the wet skin as he fills you - and without any warning, you start to come.

"Fuckfuckfuck," you cry out into the sunlit hotel room, trembling in his arms, legs shaking. You can tell in his body language behind you that he's taken aback by your sudden release, hand suddenly dropping from your calf so he can palm your sternum and pull you against him.

"Oh, honey," he groans, simultaneously tender and aroused, "Are you comin', baby? You comin' just from bein' stuffed full like that?"

"Yes," you grit out, voice a high keen as your body shakes and your release stretches out before the both of you in quick spasms, "Yes, I'm sorry."

"Nonono, no sorries," his voice is honey in your ear, fingertips grazing your nipples as he lays his palm flat against your chest, "You're a good girl, angel. You're such a good girl."

You continue to spasm on his cock, legs quivering and pathetic whines tearing from your throat until your orgasm has passed and you're just leaning back into his embrace, eyes closed. You breathe deeply, lashes fluttering when he noses your jaw and presses a soft kiss to the space beneath.

"S'alot for you," he murmurs, "I know it's a lot, babygirl. Don't ever gotta apologize for comin' too fast, not to me."

You hum softly, still extremely aware of his girthy size stretching you out somewhere below. Your eyes open and you peer downwards, brows scrunching in wonder and pleasure when you see where you're joined, where his flesh meets yours. You really are full, the base of his cock barely visible beneath your folds, the pubic hair that had caused your early release still pressed against your outer lips.

"How does it even fit?" you ask softly, almost by accident, but he just chuckles.

"The human body is a hell of a thing," he murmurs, kissing your cheek and pulling you in even closer, shuffling you on his dick just a little bit and making you wince a bit with oversensitivity, "You want me to pull out?"

"No," you shake your head and readjust yourself in his embrace, taking a breath, "No, I want you to keep going."

"Y'sure?"

"I'm sure."

He doesn't need telling twice. Within seconds he's resumed his slow and careful thrusts, almost rhythmic in their presses and pulls, filling you and emptying you in melodic succession. You reach down and take his big hand in yours, squeeze his fingers and let him fuck you like he had last night - tender, soft, comfortable. It almost doesn't feel real; how are you in a hotel room in another city, wrapped up in bed with a man three times your age, his cock buried to the hilt inside your body while you whimper and twitch in his arms? How did you get here?

"Y'know, women are a bit different than men in the orgasm department," Joel says gently behind you, stroking your hand with his thumb, "You might be able to come again if we try."

Your eyebrows go up, "Really?"

"Mmhmm," his hand slips from yours and he reaches it downward to carefully prod one of his fingers against your sensitive clit. You buck in his arms but don't protest, watching as he temporarily halts his slow thrusts to rub you softly. Your eyes go hooded, body melting like jelly in his arms as his his thick fingers slowly begin to work against the already swollen bud.

"Feel good?" he whispers.

"Yes."

He continues his careful circling, presses a kiss to your shoulder and resumes fucking into you. The sounds are pornographic in nature, surrounding your senses and filling the room with the low slap of his hips against your ass and the wet squelch of your juices dripping down his palm. But it somehow doesn't feel dirty or shameful - in fact, it's hard to imagine anything that feels more right than this.

"Joel," you breathe shakily, face twisting against the pillow again, heart pounding.

"I know, feels good doesn't it, babygirl?" he noses your skin and breathes you in, hooks your leg under his arm a bit more and groans softly, "God, you're so fuckin' tight. Such a tight fuckin' pussy."

It's your pussy, you want to breathe, it's yours. I'm yours. But you can barely get any words out as his thrusts pick up speed, as the sounds get louder and his fingers against your clit become firmer in their movements. You can feel yourself teetering on the edge again, the fire in your belly burning hotter than ever as you let him crowd your space as much as possible, let his body push yours further and further until your eyes are rolling back and all you can feel is the steady thrust of his big cock and the girth of his fingers against your pussy.

"I'm coming," you moan out weakly, "M'coming again, Joel."

You don't hear what he says in response, ears muffled as if you're underwater, pleasure spreading throughout your body and hitting you at full force like a hurricane as he fucks you through it. You're barely aware of the sounds you're making, high pitched and almost feral as his hips slap against yours a few more times. And then you feel it, the hot pulses of his cum painting your insides, filling you up as his cock spasms and twitches deep inside.

"Oh, fuck," he groans, voice thick with pleasure and sleep as he buries his face in your hair, hips stuttering, "Fuck. Take it, there you go."

Yeah, you could get used to this.

--

You'd been pretty sure you wouldn't leave the hotel room this weekend, just like you'd told him a few days prior. The thought of staying wrapped up in bedsheets, warm bodies pressed up against each other, sharing soft kisses and quiet whispers and tender looks...it'd be more than enough for an enjoyable getaway.

But it's hot, way hotter than you'd anticipated before arriving - and the pool is calling your name.

Or maybe something else is calling your name.

You stand in the bathroom and stare at your bikini clad form, a smile curving your lips as you assess the thin straps and baby pink frills. To think you'd tried to return this to Joel, briefly refused to wear it. Now you're about to don it in front of a hotel pool full of people like a normal woman, like someone without shame, without guilt, without a mother who'd skin her alive if she saw her wearing it.

Your smile falters.

You'd texted your mother after getting out of bed, apologized once again for missing her calls last night and told her you had a "busy" day at the festival ahead of you, that you'd let her know when you leave tomorrow. All she'd said in response was Ok.

You'd climbed back into bed defeatedly, finding a home against Joel's naked form, "She's mad at me," you'd murmured softly against his bare chest, squished into his side with his heartbeat thrumming in your ear.

"Don't think about her right now," he'd whispered, carding his fingers gently through your hair, "Think about this. How this feels."

He'd peered at you so softly, so full of warmth and affection. Those three words had been on the tip of your tongue again, so close to tumbling past your swollen lips - but you'd held it in.

It hadn't stopped you from texting Tasha though:

we had sex and i love him.

UM!! UMMM!!!! DETAILS????

monday!!! i'll call you

🫡 ok slut just leave me hangin i see how it is. AT LEAST TELL ME HE LIKED THE LINGERIE.

oh he liked it :)

queen shit

"Hi, pretty girl," Joel's voice says suddenly, and you're snapped from your reflection in the mirror to find him leaning against the doorway, clad in a pair of swim trunks and a Bob Dylan t-shirt, "Look at you."

You pose a little bit, hand on your hip, "Think the pool boys will like it?"

He laughs lightly, shaking his head, "I don't doubt it, but they might have some competition." He holds out his hand for you and you take it, stepping forward to let him pull you in close.

"They couldn't hold a candle to you," you whisper honestly, and he kisses your forehead with a smile, thumbing the corner of your mouth.

"Wait 'til you see my breaststroke, that'll really get you goin'."

You snort and slap his arm playfully, "Lead the way, pool boy."

--

Joel may have just been teasing about his swimming ability, but he certainly hadn't been wrong about it getting you going. You watch from the comfort of a lounge chair as he whips back and forth across the broad expanse of the hotel pool like a bullet, kicking off from end to end without much effort at all. His arms are strong and lean, body fast and nimble as the water splashes around his broad form. Every so often his face peeks up from the water and you catch a glimpse of his drenched scruff, the way the greying locks of his hair curl down his forehead into his eyes. God, he's fucking gorgeous.

You're laid out in your bikini just watching, letting him expel some energy before you join him. He'd told you he likes swimming but doesn't get to do it as much as he'd like, what with his work responsibilities. You wonder if he'd ever want to swim in your parent's pool...

You shake the thought away as soon as you think of it. There's no feasible way that could work, no option that wouldn't involve an obscene amount of risk. But still... the thought of watching him from the comfort of your own backyard, just completely alone without any bystanders or hotel guests...

"You gonna join me or what?" Joel suddenly calls from the water, and you blink the thoughts away and throw him a grin. He wades near the shallow end, arms coming up to lean against the concrete edge as he peers at you. "Don't keep me waitin', baby."

You feel your cheeks warm, unable to help but glance back and forth to see if anyone is watching, listening. Everyone else seems to be minding their own business, lost in their own conversations, their own fun. Nobody cares that you're here with him. Nobody cares what you're wearing.

Slipping from the lounge chair, you totter over to the edge where Joel resides and slowly sink down onto the concrete, kicking your legs over the side to seat yourself in front of him.

"God, these legs," he almost groans, immediately taking one in his hands and massaging your calf, your knee, your thigh, "Look at you."

"Stop acting like you haven't seen me naked," you tease, though you still feel a bit shy underneath his gaze as he moves his attention to your other leg.

"Doesn't mean I'm gonna stop admirin' this body," he seems lost in his own movements as he caresses the space behind your knee, "You're so god damn beautiful." His hands suddenly wrap around your waist and without much warning he's carefully pulling you down into the water, moving you in close. On instinct your arms come up to wrap around his neck.

"How the hell am I here with you right now, huh?" he murmurs, leaning down to brush his nose gently against yours, "How're you even real?"

"I could ask you the same thing," you reply a little breathlessly, "I've been asking myself that since we got here."

He slowly turns your bodies in the water, peering down into your eyes like you're the only people here - and you might as well be. You're unable to stop yourself from leaning up to press a kiss to his lips, from letting your tongue dart out to gently explore his mouth; he tastes like toothpaste and chlorine.

"Y'gonna swim with me?" he asks after you've pulled away, pupils blown a bit wider, "Gonna put that little swimsuit to good use?"

"I think I'm putting it to good use right now," you breathe, inching closer so your breasts are pushing against his chest. You're genuinely surprising yourself at your own boldness, especially in such a crowded place - it's almost like you're a different person here, the person you're supposed to be, confidence coursing through your veins. You stand on your tiptoes beneath the water, bringing one of your legs up to wind around his waist.

"Hmm," he hums, and his face is still dripping with water, the wrinkles in his skin peppered with little droplets that make you crazy, "You do have a point there, darlin'."

You lean in again to kiss him, feel a burst of pride in your chest when you see the sudden hunger and arousal in his expression. Just before your lips touch however, you pull back from him and throw yourself into the water, turning back to toss him a cheeky grin.

"Gotta catch me first," you giggle, then speed off in the opposite direction, leaving him standing there with a look of surprise etched on his face - followed quickly by a look of determination.

"Oh, I will," he practically growls, diving into the water in the same manner and reaching out to grab your ankle.

Time passes quickly in the pool, Joel chasing you back and forth, catching you time and time again until you're a giggling mess with tears streaming down your face and his fingers pinching your sides. You can't remember the last time you had this much fun, felt so free and light. You suppose your night out with Tasha had been a fun experience for the most part, until you remember the vague feeling of an unfamiliar body pressed against you from behind and the smell of alcohol crowding your senses on the dance floor.

No, don't think about that.

Before long you've exhausted yourselves, settled back near the edge of the pool where you started and just softly talking to each other. His big hands are all over you beneath the water, palms wide on your bare hips and tummy, caressing your thighs and your back, touching everywhere he can reach. You feel almost lightheaded with desire, eyes hooded as you peer up at him and tighten your arms around his neck, pull him closer and silently beg for more. You can feel the shape of his hardening cock through his swim trunks, pressed wet and heavy against your thigh. It makes you salivate.

You suddenly hook your chin into his shoulder, bury your face in his neck and whisper, "I wanna suck it, Joel."

"Yeah?" he murmurs, hands exploring your back and holding you tighter against him, letting you rut softly against his bulge, "You wanna go back to the room and suck on it, babygirl?"

You nod ferociously against him, "Yes. Please."

It doesn't take long at all for you both to be out of the pool and making your way back over to the chairs to grab your towels. It's frantic the way you rush to dry off, slipping back into your flip flops and shaking the water from your hair as quickly as possible. Joel follows suit, ruffling his own towel through his hair and making your body burn with need, lost in how sexy he looks with water droplets cascading down his large and strong form, dipping down his sternum and into his belly button. All you can think while you look at him is how badly you want to lick, to taste.

You're making your way back toward the entrance together when a woman runs up behind you, calling out, "Wait, hang on!" You both turn, confusion in your expressions as she reaches you and holds out something in her hand - your phone.

"I think you or your dad left this behind, sweetie," she says with a smile and places it in your grasp, "Gotta be careful!"

"Th-thank you," you manage to stutter out, eyes wide as she nods and turns away from you to head back toward the pool.

You stand there dumbstruck for a moment, thoughts muddled.

You or your dad.

Your dad.

You turn to Joel then. He's looking at you with what you can only describe as apprehension, lips downturned into a frown as he stands and waits for you to say something - anything. You stare back, words failing you.

And then you burst out laughing.

His apprehension turns into a smile, eyes crinkling at the corners as he laughs along with you and squeezes your hand in his tightly - as if to say, this isn't wrong, what we have isn't wrong and you know that. And you do, which is why he has to practically drag you back inside the hotel as you double over and heave out laugh after laugh, tears in your eyes.

"Silly girl," you hear him mumble under his breath fondly as he leads you to the elevator, and all you can do is keep giggling.

--

"I love your cock."

Your knees dig into the plush rug of the hotel room, ass sitting atop the balls of your feet as you kneel between Joel's wide legs. He's sitting comfortably on the couch, one hand resting to the side while the other strokes circles into the apple of your cheek. His cock is out of his swim trunks, heavy and hard in your palm as you slowly stroke him up and down, up and down, heart pounding in your chest.

You've done this to him before, you remind yourself, and he said it was good.

But not like this, another part of you argues, not properly.

"Yeah, you love it?" he murmurs, breaking you out of your thoughts. With his words his hand drops from your face and joins yours on his shaft, helps direct it toward your cheek so he can press the tip ever so gently against it, "What d'you love about it, baby? Tell me. Wanna know."

"It's so big, Joel," you practically whimper, brows furrowing together at the sensation of his warm stickiness on your face, "So big and so thick and long."

"I know, baby," he coos softly, smearing it along your jaw in a way that has goosebumps rising all over your flesh, "Bigger than your pretty face, huh?" At his words he delicately lays the length of his cock against your face from base to tip, lets it rest there as you close your eyes and try to calm your breathing. You're so fucking turned on.

"Big," you repeat, as if no other words can find their way to your brain, as if your brain doesn't even exist; all that exists is this. The feeling of his warm dick laying heavy across your face, precum leaking out onto your forehead.

"And what's it taste like, babygirl?" He's suddenly moving it downward, towards your mouth, and you happily lean forward to lap at the tip. It pulses against you, leaks onto the pink softness of your tongue. "Tell me what it tastes like."

"Kinda salty," you whisper, peering up at him with big eyes, "But good, it still tastes good to me." Your nose scrunches and you peer up at him sheepishly, "Tasha said it's not supposed to."

He laughs breathlessly, taps the tip against your bottom lip, and when more precum dribbles out you allow it to drip into your mouth. You swallow, eyes never leaving his, then swirl your tongue all around the head before slowly taking it into your mouth and suctioning carefully.

"God, you make me fuckin' crazy," his voice rumbles in his chest, eyes hooded, "Look at you suckin' on my cock." After a few seconds he pulls it out and taps your lips with it again, hissing a bit through his teeth, "Fuck, this mouth. And those eyes," his head leans back against the couch and he groans, low and deep, "You gotta stop lookin' at me like that, angel. M'not gonna last."

"How am I looking at you?" you ask shyly, a smile playing at your lips.

"Like... you're just so new to everything."

"But I am," you say with a breathless giggle, "It is new to me."

He smiles fondly down at you on your knees in front of him, so vulnerable, "I know," he tells you, "It makes me want you so bad."

"You have me," you whisper, leaning forward to mouth at the head of his cock once again, "M'yours, Joel."

His lids go heavy as you suckle gently on the tip again, reveling in the masculine taste of him and the way you can feel his heartbeat on the tip of your tongue. You suck it the same way you did last time - like a sucker or a popsicle - and you hope it feels good to him, hope you're doing it right.

"That's so good, baby," he murmurs, and you whimper at his praise.

You pop him out of your mouth and take a deep breath, peering up at him curiously, "Can...can you..."

His brow furrows, "Can I what, angel?"

"Can you show me how to... how to take all of it? Like, how to put it in my throat?"

The expression on his face is hard to describe, a mix of disbelief and untamed arousal. His mouth opens to speak but he doesn't say anything, taking a few seconds to formulate a response before clearing his throat and giving you a weak - and slightly wrecked - smile.

"Y'sure you wanna try that?" he asks you, ever the gentleman, "That's....it's a lot to take in your throat, babygirl."

"I know," you breathe, sincerity in your eyes, "But I wanna try."

He reaches down and thumbs a stray hair from your face, pushes it behind your ear, "You're probably gonna gag," he murmurs gently - a warning. "It might be uncomfortable for you."

You raise an eyebrow, "So... you don't want me to?"

He laughs breathlessly, "I... I didn't say I don't want it. But I don't want you to try something you don't feel ready for," he frowns, "Don't want you to feel any pressure with me."

"I don't," you admit honestly, "I don't feel any pressure, Joel, I promise. I just...really wanna try it. I want you to show me."

He takes a deep breath, strokes your cheek gently and then reaches down to hold the base of his cock again. Your hands fall to his thighs, still clad in his swim trunks.

"Lemme just see how far you can go without gaggin' first," he tells you softly, patiently, "Want you to stop when you feel it in that spot, okay? Don't go any further than that."

You nod, already beyond excited that you're learning something new, something that'll make him feel good. You open your mouth to take him back inside but he touches your face again, stopping you.

"Deep breath," he advises quietly. You do as you're told.

He helps guide the fat head of his cock past your lips, watches as you very slowly ease yourself down. You close your eyes, all your focus centered on this singular task, fighting to push past the slight discomfort of having your mouth stuffed so full. It takes barely a moment for you to reach the point he was talking about, when you feel the head of his cock brush ever so slightly against your gag reflex. On instinct, your eyes snap open, your entire body freezing in place.

"Right there?" he asks quietly, but you know he's not waiting for an answer, knows you couldn't talk even if you wanted to, "That's so much baby, good girl." His praise send throbs of pleasure to your pussy, warmth to your cheeks. Your eyes meet his and you can see how turned on he is, see the way the corners of his mouth twitch with pleasure. "Let go when you're ready, honey."

You hold yourself there for a few more seconds, eyes watering a little bit as you hold his gaze, just testing the power of your lungs and the strain of your jaw. When it becomes too much you pull your mouth off him and find yourself gasping for breath, fingers digging into the meat of his thighs as drool spills down your chin.

"How was that?" he asks, thumbing your cheek again with one hand and stroking himself with the other, working your saliva up and down his length, "Uncomfortable?"

You shake your head, "It was good," you whisper, voice a bit crackly, "I wanna try and take more, can I?"

He nods, smiles encouragingly and taps his swollen cockhead against your bottom lip again, slow and tantalizing, "Course you can, babygirl," he murmurs, "Deep breath."

You inhale deeply again, gathering as much air into your lungs as possible before sinking your mouth down onto him and allowing his thick girth to fill you all over again. This time when you feel him reach that spot, you let yourself keep going just a little bit further, allow the head of his cock to push more firmly against it and slip the tiniest bit into the back of your throat.

You gag immediately.

It's very loud; a dry wretch that you can admit sounds absolutely horrific in the current circumstance. Before you can even really process what to do next, he's tugging you off his cock, voice suddenly worried, frantic, "Okay, no, that's too much," he says quickly, and you look up to see him shaking his head, "You're gonna hurt yourself."

"M'fine," you try to garble out, but you're shocked when just talking suddenly sends you into a coughing fit. You bang on your chest and squeeze his thigh with your other hand, feeling more drool cascade down your chin and onto your bare chest.

"Angel," he says soothingly, leaning forward to pat your back, brows furrowed again in concern, "I'm sorry, honey."

You shake your head, "I-I'm okay," you splutter out, "Just gimme a second."

"It's too much," he repeats, almost pleading, "Please, baby, I don't wanna see you struggle, that's not fun for me."

As much as you hate the idea of giving up, you have to admit that he's right. That wretch had not been pleasant, and while you think you could eventually learn to take all of him, maybe forcing yourself to do it when you're supposed to be having fun on vacation isn't the best time.

"Okay," you mumble defeatedly, sitting back on your knees, "But I still wanna suck it."

He laughs again, relief flooding his features as he leans back on the couch and smiles crookedly at you, "You can still suck it, darlin'. Just take your time and don't push your limits, alright? Promise me."

"I promise."

You spend the next fifteen minutes or so playing with Joel's cock, stroking it with your hand, kitten licking along the shaft and head, just touching as much as you can without any time pressure for once. He pets your hair as he watches you, thumbs your cheeks and dimples, small groans tumbling past his lips, face scrunched in pleasure as you explore. You take as much of him as you can in your mouth, bob up and down slowly with your eyes trained on his face, feel the way his thick length twitches and pulses against your tongue.

It's almost feral the way you drink him down, hollowing your cheeks and basking in the way his body responds to you. You're so wet, aching to touch yourself but wanting this moment to be just for him, a thank you for this weekend, this hotel, for everything. Instead you palm his balls, roll them in your palm and revel in the desperate sounds he makes.

"I love your cock," you whine, repeating your earlier statement as you fist it up and down with spit pooling at the corners of your mouth, "I love it so much, Joel." You can feel yourself dripping in your bikini bottoms, feel your own slick gathering on your inner thighs.

"I know, baby," he gasps out, running one hand through his hair and the other through yours as his belly tenses and untenses, as his thighs tremble, "I know you love it, s'all yours, baby. S'your cock."

"My cock," you echo, almost a whimper, "Mine."

"Yours, it's yours," he moans loudly, hands curling into fists as his head hits the back of the couch, "Shit, I'm gonna come."

"Come in my mouth," you tell him immediately, wasting no time in sinking back down onto his length. He doesn't ask if you're sure; he's too far gone to be a gentleman anymore, and you love it. You watch as he suddenly sits up on the couch, reaches both hands forward and cradles your head in them firmly. He helps you move up and down, groaning as he does, and then-

His cock pulses on your tongue, thick and heavy, bobbing against the roof of your mouth. You feel a burst of cum hit the back of your throat, then another, and another, all the while Joel moans and holds your head in place, toes curling into the rug. Your eyes roll back as he fills your mouth, overwhelmed by the salty taste and thick texture, and - without really meaning to - you swallow around him to make more space. He practically whines at the sensation, pulsing once more to release one final burst of his spend.

And then he's falling back against the couch, cock popping out of your mouth, expression dazed. Without thinking about it you swallow the rest of his cum, eyelashes fluttering at the odd sensation of it all slipping down your throat. So much, gone in an instant. It's only then that you actually realize what you've done.

"I swallowed it," you say, panic suddenly brewing in your stomach, "Was I supposed to swallow it?"

He laughs softly, covers his mouth with the back of his hand, "It is perfectly fine that you swallowed it, darlin'," he smiles wide and opens his arms, "C'mere."

You clamor off your knees and crawl into his lap immediately, straddling his thighs and pressing your wet bikini bottoms against the slope of his belly. He lets out a little groan, pulls you in and strokes your hair.

"You did so good," he praises you softly, kisses your temple, "So good, baby. Made me come so much."

"There was a lot," you tell him, nuzzling into his neck and letting your breathing slowly even out, "S'why I swallowed it, I was trying to make room."

"Was it okay? It didn't make you gag, did it?"

You shake your head, a pout on your lips, "Felt good in my mouth," you whisper, "I liked it."

He hums, hands trailing from your hair to your bare back where he unclasps your bikini top and lets it cascade to the floor, then reaches down and tugs at your bottoms. You lift up carefully, let him slip them down your thighs and watches as you kick them off, leaving you fully naked in his lap.

"So pretty when you're bare like this," he whispers, and it sends more slick to your folds, oozing down and making a mess on his tummy. He cups your pussy in one hand and slides two fingers easily inside of you, thumb rubbing circles against your clit. You grip his arm, eyes falling closed and pitiful little sounds slipping from your mouth. "My good girl deserves a reward for suckin' my cock so good, swallowin' all that cum, don't you think?"

You nod, biting down on your lip and letting him fuck you with his digits, eyes rolling behind your lids.

"Yeah, you do," he answers for you, "You deserve it, angel. Always."

He makes you come easily, leaving you a messy, twitching heap in his lap as your arms wrap around his neck, body going lax and loose. After a few moments he picks you up and carries you to the bathroom, helps you into the shower, smiles when you peer blearily up at him through your afterglow.

"Just close your eyes and lean against me," he tells you softly as the water falls, removing his swim trunks and getting in to stand behind you, "I'll get you cleaned up, sweetheart."

--

You nap after your shower, exhausted and sated in every possible way. Joel wakes you up around two o'clock with more room service - sandwiches and soup that you devour with bright eyes and light conversation side by side in bed. It's domestic bliss the way he thumbs mustard from your lips, pours you more water, slices your key lime pie and feeds it to you with a fond smile.

I love you I love you I love you.

"Would it absolutely ruin this moment if I suggested tryin' our hand at a hymn?" he asks when you've both finished, wiping the crumbs on his fingers with a napkin and gesturing to his guitar case in the corner of the room.

You grimace, "I guess not."

"I'm just thinkin' about your parents," he places his hand on your hip - clad in another one of his shirts - and gives you a sympathetic smile, "It's probably best to pick somethin' and have it ready."

You nod. You know he's right, that your lack of preparedness these past few weeks has been pretty reckless considering it's been the entire "reason" you've been seeing him. With a sigh you slip out from under the covers and traipse over to the couch, listening as Joel unclasps the guitar case.

"I did some research," he tells you as he walks over, hooking the strap over his shoulders as he goes, "I think our best bet for an easy tune is How Great Thou Art. Pretty repetitive chord progression, only uses G, C, and D."

You make a face, crossing your arms, "I can't believe I have to do this."

He laughs, "It was either that or Come Ye Sinners, and I think that one's a little too on the nose, don't you think?" He tosses you a smile and you can't help but return it, feeling your frustration melt away under his gaze.

"Can we do that thing again where I get a reward?" you ask shyly, biting your lip. His eyebrows go up, a smirk lighting his face.

"Hmm, I think that's doable," he sits down beside you, tuning the guitar, "What'd you have in mind?" You notice the way his eyes dart toward your groin and your cheeks warm.

"I was actually thinking that maybe..." your hands play with the hem of his shirt nervously, unsure what he'll say, "maybe you could play something for me? You said last night that you've written some songs," you shrug, trying to be nonchalant, "I'd... I'd really like to hear one, if you wouldn't mind."

He peers at you for a few seconds, smirk fading briefly only to be replaced with a tender smile, eyes softening as he gazes at you. Warmth blooms in your chest. You never want him to stop looking at you like that.

"I can do that," he tells you quietly, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, "I mean... I can't promise it'll be good, but-"

"I don't care."

He chuckles and nods, grips the guitar again and clears his throat, "Well, alright then. Let's get started."

For the first time ever, the lesson is actually a lesson. No undercurrent of sex, no inappropriate touching or sensual glances, no teasing or filthy words. You're not sure how you're able to hold yourself back so easily, able to really focus on what Joel is saying and showing you, helping place your fingers in the right locations and teach you the strumming techniques. Maybe it's because you're tired - you did come three times already today - but it's not just that.

It just feels so... normal. So easy. You think back to that first lesson, the nervousness you'd felt and the pounding of your heart in your chest, the anticipation and the fear.

It's different now. Now that he's been inside you, become one with you, it's like your whole dynamic has changed - for the better. Of course you still feel that curious nervousness, the innocence, the electricity between you. But there's something so solid and tangible about it now, something certain. Something real.

He shapes your fingers along the neck of the guitar, praising you softly every time you play a note that sounds right, encouraging you as you repeat the G chord a few times, then C, then D. You strum along slowly, taking your time, and before you know it you're playing something that actually doesn't sound half bad.

"We definitely need to work on buildin' up those calluses," he murmurs, stroking the tips of your fingers under his thumb, "Well... If you're gonna do this long-term, I mean."

You peer at him curiously, tilting your head to the side. He looks sheepish, like he's said something he hadn't meant to.

"You think I could do this, like... for real? As a hobby?"

His mouth turns up at the corners and he nods, "I think you can do anything you set your mind to, darlin'."

Your heart is suddenly in your throat at his words, emotion bubbling under the surface of your skin. You drop your hand from the guitar and reach up to cup his face, pulling him toward you to press a gentle kiss to his lips. He kisses you back just as soft, just as careful.

"Thank you," you whisper, tears pricking in your eyes, "Thank you for saying that."

He presses his forehead to yours, shakes his head ever so slightly, "Don't gotta thank me for sayin' what's true, angel. You deserve to hear it every single day."

You finish the lesson with tears still welling in your eyes, a lump in your throat. When you lean the guitar against the side of the couch he cradles your face in his hands and gently kisses the tears away, brushes his lips along your eyelids and cheeks, your jaw and your lips, saying everything without saying anything at all.

"Okay," you sigh, taking a deep breath and opening your eyes to smile sweetly at him, "Time for my reward."

He chuckles and rolls his eyes a little, reaching for the guitar and beginning to tune it again. You watch as he twists the keys, strums a little here and there, hums softly for each note to match his voice. Anticipation rises in your chest.

"Now, uh," he clears his throat a bit, avoiding eye contact, "It's been a while since I played this one but it's, uh," he takes a breath, "It's one I wrote when Sarah was born. Used to sing it to her to help her fall asleep."

You melt at the words, smiling wider, "What's it called?"

He finally meets your eyesight, lips pressing together sheepishly, "Sarah."

Oh, duh. You nod in encouragement, leaning back against the armrest of the couch and waiting for him to begin. He takes another deep breath, dropping his gaze to watch his fingers shape the first chord. It's then that you notice his hands - usually deft and steady - are trembling a little bit, so much so that he has to readjust his position on the strings a few times.

He's nervous.

He stares at his hand, takes another deep breath.

You wait.

"Sorry," he mumbles under his breath, "Sorry, just gimme a minute."

"It's okay, take your time." Your voice is barely a whisper, awestruck by the sudden vulnerability you're witnessing. He'd agreed to the reward so quickly, you'd been sure he didn't mind. But now as you sit here waiting, you're not so sure. You watch him take more deep breaths, watch as he closes his eyes and seems to center himself.

"If you don't want to-"

"I want to," he says immediately, shaking his head, "I want to, I've just... I haven't sung in a while."

Your brow furrows, confused, "You sang yesterday in the car, didn't you? And you sang Tangled Up In Blue when we first met, and that other one, the one from the eighties."

His lips turn up at the corners, a welcome smile, "Take On Me."

"Yeah, that one."

He sighs, tightening his grip on the guitar, "It's not that I haven't sung I guess. Wrong wordin'," he bites his lip, "It's moreso that I haven't sung this one. Or any of my originals. Not for a long time."

You frown, "How come?"

"I guess... I just..." he searches for the words, staring at the floor, "No one's really asked me to. And it's not like I'm playin' gigs or tourin' or any of that pipe dream stuff I thought about when I was a kid." He laughs humorlessly, like the concept is ridiculous, "So I guess I just kinda... stopped, after a while."

You feel a sudden sadness that you can't really explain, picturing that bright-eyed little version of Joel, stuck in a household that wouldn't let him grow, wouldn't let him be himself. All those dreams and big ideas, dashed before he was able to get out and make his mark. Life getting busy, too busy, other responsibilities taking up all his time until the thing he loved most became nothing but a memory. A pipe dream.

It makes your heart ache.

"D'you mind if I just..." he meets your gaze again finally, eyes soft and a little sad, "Could I maybe just hum it? Instead? I know that's kind of a cop-out, but-"

"Of course you can," you breathe out, hand coming down to rest atop his knee, "Of course you can hum it."

"I'm sorry, baby, I know you wanted -"

"It's hard being vulnerable, Joel," you interrupt him again, shaking your head and stroking your thumb against his skin, "God knows it's been hard for me, and you've been nothing but patient." You give him a watery smile and he returns it, "Please take your time. I can be patient too, I promise."

You can tell how much he appreciates it. He reaches down and picks up your hand, presses a gentle kiss to the back of it before setting it back down and taking one last deep breath.

"Well, here it is," he says with a little more confidence, a smile playing at his lips.

You've heard him play before, obviously; you've already seen the way his fingers work the strings like it's just second nature, the way his thumb strums out the chords effortlessly. But this time is different. Knowing what he's playing is completely original, born from his own creativity out of love and devotion, a father's affection and protectiveness, it just sounds special. New. He begins to pluck out a soft, slow, soothing melody that immediately puts you at ease, makes you lean back further against the couch and loosen your body. It's tender, quiet - a lullaby.

He hums softly, voice crackling a bit in his throat at first but then settling into a smooth and comforting sound. It's almost like a waltz, the way the chords change back and forth, in and out, slow and steady. Of course you wonder what the real words are, what his quiet hums are substituting, but you find that it doesn't really matter. What matters is the look on his face, eyes distant, as if he's picturing his daughter as she was when she was little. You try to picture it too, thinking of the photograph in his house, the one of him pushing Sarah on the swing. Just a father and his little girl, against the world.

It isn't a very long song. It fades out relatively quickly, and as soon as he strums out the final chord you sit up on the couch and clap ferociously, tears stinging in your eyes all over again.

"I'd usually, uh, play it a couple times for her," he says awkwardly, "'Til she fell asleep."

"It was beautiful," you tell him earnestly, "It was so beautiful, Joel."

He shakes his head with an embarrassed laugh and swivels around to go place his guitar back in its case. He doesn't say anything else, but he doesn't need to. You know how he feels when you spot the tips of ears, tinged pink, warm from your praise.

--

The rest of the day passes in what feels like a warm, luxurious, passionate blur. You go to dinner that evening and order lobster, revel in the way it practically melts in your mouth with sips of champagne and bites of blueberry cheesecake. Joel tells you a little more about his life, tells you everything you want to know about his daughter and his ex. It's not a difficult or uncomfortable conversation like you'd been worried it might be. Instead, you feel closer learning these things about him, feel even more connected to him than you did before as he tells you about Mish and Sarah, their relationship, the arrangement.

"I think I understand it better now," you tell him thoughtfully, "Now that I've actually..." you peer at him shyly, "You know... done it."

He chuckles, "Sex is a powerful thing, it really is. And when you find someone you're compatible with it can be really easy to keep goin' back to 'em. Settle into it, you know? Even if the other parts of your relationship don't work."

"It's like...friends with benefits, right?"

"Exactly. And it really does work for some people, worked for Mish and I for a long time," he shakes his head and reaches across the table to take your hand, "But that's over now, I need you to know that. It's over. You're the only woman in my life and that's how I want it to be. You believe me right?"

His eyes are soft, warm, loving, sincerity practically glowing in his expression.

"I believe you, Joel. Of course I believe you."

You have sex again when you get back to the room, slow and intimate and tender and perfect. You claw at his back as whimpers and cries tear from your mouth, writhing in pleasure beneath him on the bed as he fills you over and over, murmurs filth in your ear and presses down on your clit with his thumb. It's like you've died and gone to heaven, this feeling of permanent bliss and satisfaction, the sensation of being so full and so connected. It's the closest you've ever felt to real inner peace; who would have thought that sitting on a cock instead of in a church pew would be the thing to bring you closer to godliness?

I pray at the church of Joel Miller, you think to yourself as you recover from your fifth orgasm of the day, laying there with fluttering lashes and heaving belly, mind foggy and eyes bleary. Joel is kissing your thighs somewhere below, whispering praises, humming against your skin as he wipes a warm cloth over your twitching pussy.

"I keep thinking about how many sins I've committed in the last twenty four hours," you mumble to him, sleep quickly making its way into your psyche, "And then I remember that I don't care."

His laugh is the last thing you hear before you drift off.

--

Sunday morning is bittersweet. You spend most of it wrapped in Joel's embrace, tracing the freckles and scars on his skin, drifting in and out of consciousness while he peppers kisses all over your face and neck. You have to leave the hotel by noon, get back on the road again and head back home, but the bed is so warm. He's so warm. Everything is warm.

"You never fucked me in the shower," you whisper to him softly, so quiet you wonder if he can even hear you, "Or on the floor."

"I still can," he murmurs, voice husky with sleep, fingers trailing delicately through your hair, "We have a little time."

You nuzzle into his warmth and close your eyes, sighing contentedly, "No," you breathe, "I just want you to hold me."

So he does.

--

The drive home is quieter, but not in a bad way. You're still tired from your escapades and find yourself dozing every so often, vaguely aware of Joel turning down the volume or switching the song to something more chill when he notices you starting to drift. His hand is ever-present on your thigh, stroking the skin over and over like it's just habit at this point. You know you should be forcing yourself to stay awake, to enjoy these last few hours before life goes back to normal, but he really did a number on you.

It's only when you stop at a gas station - the same one where you first saw the playlist you weren't sure you were meant to - that you finally start to feel more awake.

"So tell me about this Angel playlist," you say with a smirk, waving his phone at him as he gets back in the truck, "Can we listen to it?"

A look of surprise crosses his face, but he doesn't seem upset, "How did you even find out about that?"

"I'm in control of the music, remember? It's your spotify."

He groans, cheeks flushing as he pushes on the gas and pulls out of the station, avoiding eye contact. "You were not supposed to see that."

Intrigue floods your brain, fuels your grin, "So it's for me?"

He takes a moment to respond, thumb stroking the wheel as he eyes the road, lip between his teeth. You can tell he's debating whether or not he should answer you, but his silence says everything. Impatient, you practically bounce in your seat, "Can we listen to it? Pretty please?"

He laughs a little breathlessly, shaking his head in disbelief, "Who is this girl sittin' in the front seat of my truck?" He squeezes your thigh, "You're gettin' bold, darlin'. I like it."

"Enough to let me listen to the playlist?"

He sighs, but you know he's not mad, can see the smile tugging at his lips, "...Maybe. At least enough to listen to one song. Will that tide you over?"

"Yes, it most certainly will," you're already tapping Angel, eyes alight with curiosity, "Which song?"

"Northern Sky by Nick Drake, should be the first one there."

You turn to him with a raised brow, "How do you know that's the first song?"

"'Cause I made the damn playlist."

"And you listen to it a lot?"

He laughs again, eyes rolling fondly as he turns his attention back to the road and grins at your words, "You're somethin' else."

You've still got a shit eating grin on your face as the song starts, the soft strumming of guitar filling the small space. Oh, this is pretty. You playfully nod your head to the chords and he rolls his eyes again, strokes your thigh and keeps his attention focused on the road.

And then the lyrics start.

I never felt magic crazy as this I never saw moons, knew the meaning of the sea I never held emotion in the palm of my hand Or felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree But now you're here Brighten my northern sky

Your grin fades almost immediately, realization blooming on your face as the reality of what this playlist actually is begins to dawn on you. You'd thought maybe it was songs he wanted to share with you, songs he wanted to teach you how to play. Just random tunes that he compiled together with you in mind.

No, that's not what this is at all. As the lyrics continue, the melody growing more steady, more beautiful, you realize that these are songs that remind him of you. An entire playlist dedicated to the way he feels.

You stare at the road as the song plays out, not speaking. Your eyes are stinging with tears but you can't bring yourself to say anything, to even look at him. You feel him squeeze your thigh again, a comforting and reassuring little gesture. As if to say, l know, I'm here. As the final chords fade out you frantically reach for his phone and press pause, out of respect for his privacy but also because you're completely unprepared to hear another song like that. You catch him peering at you in your periphery, and you will yourself to look at him with watery eyes.

"Satisfied?" he asks softly, giving you that gorgeous crooked smile.

All you can choke out is a "Yeah."

--

Arriving back at the parking garage hurts. Joel pulls his truck in beside your car, still in the same spot you'd left it, and takes the key out of the ignition with a long sigh. You look over at him, emotion burning in your throat.

"I don't wanna go home," you whisper.

"Oh, babygirl," he murmurs, brow furrowing, "C'mere." He holds his arms open and you clamor over the center console to settle into his lap, burying your face in his neck. He holds you tight and rubs your back, hushes you softly when you start to cry. How is this weekend already over? How are things just supposed to go back to normal now?

"I don't want you to go back there either," he breathes, "If I had it my way you'd be comin' home with me." You feel him press a kiss to the spot just beneath your ear, "But you're strong. You're stronger than you think you are and I know you can get through this. Whatever they have to say, whatever they do, you'll get through it. We'll get through it together."

You don't say anything else, just melt into the warmth of his body and let him hold you, comfort you, until your cries and hiccups fade into even breaths. You pull back slowly and peer at his beautiful face, long to say the words you've been holding back all weekend - but you know there's a reason you've been holding back, know this isn't the right time, not yet.

Instead, you kiss him. It's soft and sweet, a tender goodbye. Temporary, fleeting. You know it's not forever, know you'll probably sneak over tomorrow night to see him again under cover of darkness, find yourself in his bed, get wrapped up in him. But it's a goodbye nonetheless. A goodbye to this - the simplicity, the sense of normalcy and lack of time constraints, the domestic bliss and the thrill of the escape. A goodbye to the bliss.

Driving away from him a few minutes later, watching his truck fade into the distance in your rearview mirror - you think it might be one of the hardest things you've ever had to do.

[candysunoo]

ೋ◦ ❀❀ Lee Heeseung as a

Bridgerton story ❀❀ ◦ೋ•

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ೋ◦dearest gentle-reader ◦ೋ•

❀my name is lady whistledown. you do not know me, and rest assured, you never shall. but be forewarned dear reader, I certainly know you.❀

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ೋ◦ ❀❀ Lee Heeseung x F!reader - Queen Charlotte ❀❀◦ೋ• 18+ MDNI

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ೋ◦ ❀❀ chapter content warning: unedited with run on sentences, strangers - to kind of friends- to lovers, traditional gender roles, 1700’s societal expectations, arranged/ forced marriage, bitchy mother-in-law, mentions of parental death, mentions of mental health ( mainly illusions to bipolar disorder and hallucinations ) and feeling like an outsider, medical malpractice, mention of feeling unloved and trapped in a marriage, SMUT, sex (like 2 scenes + illusions to more ), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, put that wiener in a blanket), loss of virginity, slight breeding kink , praise, body worship, fingering, mention of pregnancy and birth, angst and fluff, idiots in love, ❀❀◦ೋ• lmk if i forgot anything

ೋ◦ ❀❀ word count: 11.8k ❀❀◦ೋ•

❀ story starts under the cut! please enjoy! - Kei ❀

❀ also i deeply apologize for acidently setting the release date on auto post wring plz forgive me. Also i will be releasing a message to the rude anons i got because there is a certain way to conduct yourself and that was not it 💕 regardless please enjoy and ignore my awful formatting 😭- kei ❀

ೋ◦ ❀❀ link to enha bridgerton au masterlist ❀❀◦ೋ•

ೋ◦ ❀❀ link to total masterlist ❀❀◦ೋ•

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Today felt different. The air around you felt stiff, and it seemed as if all the staff’s eyes had lingered on you for too long. Their eyes filled with pity.  Looks that you knew all too well. After your parents had passes away those looks were all you got for the longest time. Pity for the beloved daughter of the king and queen. A young princess of ten and two. A princess made to rely on her older brother, of only ten and five, a young man who now was taking over the throne as the head of the country. Your country was small, a speck of dust in the seemingly never-ending universe of other counties. Compared to the massive land-locked nations around you, your island was quaint and for the most part rather peaceful and not to mention almost two months’ boat journey away from any other country. You loved your country and took great pride in being its princess, going to charity events and doing all that you could with what little power was given to you. Nevertheless, things couldn’t stay peaceful for long. As you neared your twentieth birthday it seemed as if your quiet little country had gained attention that you never thought it would. People from neighboring nations had made their way over and found joy in the culture and life your country provides. Some a little too much. Your brother, however, had told you not to worry as it was beyond you, and you shouldn’t have concerned yourself with it. So, as much as you despised leaving it be you did, as your trust in your brother outweighed that of anything else.

As you walked down the cream and white hallways of the palace, decorated with paintings of people you hardly knew and busts of people long passed, you heard your brother speaking quietly with someone in his study. Approaching the wide door, you pushed your long-hooped skirt back, leaning forward at your waist and peaking your head into the doorframe being careful not to be seen or draw any attention to yourself. Your eyes settled on your brother and a tall, pale, dark-haired man standing at the corner of his desk peering down at several documents. The tall, pale, dark-haired man was dressed in a well pressed white and red suit. “… And once you sign here everything will be confirmed and finalized. A ship will be ready to set sale in the next few days.” The man’s deep voice whispered quietly as he traced the lines of script messily written down on the parchment paper placed in front of them. Your brother silently nodded, eyes darting across the paper, reading carefully, hesitating to sign. Finally, your brother looked up at the man, “and I have word that she will be taken care of? That she will not be harmed and forced to live a life unbecoming of her?” The man simply gave a curt nod, “by word of the queen of great Brittan and Ireland, yes, she will be taken care of and provided a life fit for the future queen and mother of a future heir.” In hearing his response your brother nodded, placing his quill into the jar of ink and signing the documents.

Your heartbeat quickened and your breaths became short. Your brother the only man, person really, you could rely on had just sold you off to some random stranger. Well not entirely random, he sold you off to the king. King Heeseung. You whipped up, stumbling back and slightly knocking into a bust behind you, rocking it off its collum and crashing loudly on the floor. The maid passing by jumped at the noise. Rapidly you regained your posture and ran away swiftly as your brother and the man made their way out of his study. Your brother sighed, putting his head in his hands and sweeping his hair back. The man accompanying him looked at him with disbelief as your brother assured him everything would be fine and the two of you would arrive at the port in the coming days to make the log journey to England. Silently the man once again nodded, collecting the signed documents and making his way out of the palace.

With quick haste your brother followed after you, desperately calling out your name. With deep breaths you turned to face him, your skirt flipping around as your body turned. “How could you? How could you sell me off? Sell me off to a man you’ve never met? For what brother, what did you sell me off for?” your eyes pleaded with him as your voice began to crack, tears brimming on the edge of your lashes. Your brother looked at you, hand gently coming up and wiping away the tears that had finally been released. “My dearest sister, you know that never in my years would I ever imagine hurting you or leaving you in a position to fend for yourself” he breathed in deeply “ I did this for us, you must understand that we are not in a good position, every day the larger countries around us send more soldiers and I fear that we are one step closer to becoming just another victim. In marrying you off not only have I secured your future. One where you will be treated with respect and dignity. One where you will live the finest life and be able to have beautiful children. But also, one where we have the support of one of the largest nations in the known world. Where our tiny island can become peaceful once again. And yes, perhaps we do not know much about the king, however, I have on good word that he will be nothing but kind towards you.”  Your brother pulled you into a hug, gently stroking the back of your hair, “You will be perfectly fine, dear sister I will be with you until I can no longer.” Nodding you hugged your brother back, deciding that it is something you must do for not only your brother but the country you love most dearly.

Various thoughts swam around in your head as the carriage made its way down the cobblestone path. It had been a long journey at sea, but you had finally made it to the mainland. You had to admit as much as you admired your country, this one was nothing like you had ever seen before. There were larger buildings and so many people surrounding the streets. You groaned quietly and sat the book you were reading down in your lap as the carriage bounced roughly once again. “What is it this time dear sister?” your brother asked not looking up from his own book. “If you must know, I am uncomfortable.” You complained. “We have been on the road for hours now, it is hot, and I am sat here in a dress made of the finest blue silks and a corset made of whale bone. The slightest jostle pushes it deeper into my skin. Do you know what happens if it penetrates too far? Humm, do you?” you questioned, voice growing irritated. Your brother let out a small huff, placing his book down on his lap and tilting his head towards you, ‘No dearest sister I do not, but I assume that you will so kindly inform me.” You gave him a tight-lipped sarcastic smile, “It can snap and stab me dearest brother, and you will have no one to deliver to the king. Only my dead body in the finest blue silk covered with my dark warm blood.” Your brother only rolled his eyes at your dramatics and picked up his book again, “You will be fine, you have made it thus far” he said as you began to look out the small carriage window.

After a few more long hours your carriage had finally stopped in front of the main church on the palace lands. Thousands of people had made their way inside as you were being escorted out of your carriage and through the doors to a small drawing room on the top level. Inside stood a beautiful woman, dressed in a fine and pristine cream-colored gown. She handed her tea off to a maid as she stood up from the small couch on which she was sitting upon. Several of her lady’s maids ushered you onto a small platform in the center of the room. “Let me get a good look at her.” The woman declared as the maids all fled to the edges of the room. She circled you as if you were prey, poking and prodding at you.” Now what is this getup you are wearing? It is simply too much!” she exclaimed. You looked down at her, “only the finest silk of what my country has to offer.”  She let out a exasperated hum lifting your arms, “Yes, she will do just fine. She has a nice complexion and hips well suited for childbearing. If only she was in something a little more traditional.” The woman looked to your brother who was standing in the entryway of the room, “Does she know how to read? Does she know how to mind her manners?” Your head snapped over to him, an irritated look growing on your face. Your brother simply smiled, eyes begging for you to calm down. “Of course, my Queen. She is well read, can speak several languages, is proficient at both the piano forte and homemaking skills such as needle point.” The queen nodded along as your brother listed off attributes. “Very well than...” she turned her head towards you, “and what do you have to say?” Casting another look to your brother you gently cleared your throat, “It is such a pleasure to be here today my Queen. Thank you for allowing me this opportunity.” The queen once again simply nodded. “Ah yes humble too.  Get her into a traditional gown and prepare her for the wedding. We mustn’t keep the people waiting.” A series of ‘Yes Ma’ams’ went across the room as the queen left. As the lady’s maids dressed you, you tried to ask them questions about the king. Simple things like who was he really and if he was at all kinds. You got short answers all along the lines of “Well he is the king of course”. Nothing that truly satisfied your inquiries. Before you knew it you were stripped and placed into a boring white and cream ball gown.

Finally getting a break from all the hands on you and people around you, you wandered the halls. Silently you heard footsteps behind you. Turing abruptly, you found a man five paces away. Once again you began to walk, and the man followed. This occurred several times before you stopped and faced the man completely. He bowed to you, staying silent. ‘And whom might you be?” you questioned. He gave you a half-hearted smile and introduced himself as your valet and told you that wherever you went, he would be not but 10 paces behind you. You simply nodded, wanting to get away as soon as possible. Making your way back to the drawing room you looked behind at the man, ‘So you follow me wherever I go?” He simply nods. “Yes, Ma’am”. You purse your lips, “And if I were to need to use the chamber pot?” The man cleared his throated and looked at the lady’s maid that was left, ‘please go fetch one for the future queen”. The maid nodded leaving to go fetch a chamber pot and the man silently walked out of the room and waited. Quietly you tiptoed out of the room, carefully sneaking past your shadow and the lady’s maid that was waiting.

You made your way out of the large church, running into the maze-like garden. Taking several twists and turns you found yourself at a beautiful garden wall made with stone, covered in moss with vines growing up the sides, various breeds of roses covering them. Gripping into the strong vines you found a chip in the wall. Attempting to push yourself up and over it you ground as you failed. After several more attempts you stopped, taking a moment to breathe in deeply. On your next attempt you jumped as you heard a man clear his throat behind you. Fearing that you had been caught by your new footman you turned slowly, wincing as you did. Much to your surprise a young man stood behind you. Dressed impeccably in a white suit with decadent jewels decorating the edges of the jacket. The man was nothing less than breathtakingly gorgeous. His eyes captivated you, beautiful and lively. Like no others you’ve seen before. However, the smile he wore was even more heartwarming. Beautiful and kind. That was the only way you could describe him at that moment. “Might I inquire as to why you are trying to go over that garden wall” the man questioned, light hair that was perfectly styled now flowing gently in the breeze. “If it is any of your business it is because I fear he may be a beast, or perhaps a troll.” You stated looking down at your hands, gently wiping them against each other, “And who might you be referring to my lady?” the man continued. You rolled your eyes letting out anther huff and giving the man a side glance before trailing your eyes back to the garden wall, “As impertinent as that might be I am speaking of the King. No one will speak of him. Everything is so rehearsed no one has anything real to say. So clearly, he must be a beast or a troll.” You brought your hand up to the wall, finding a perfect spot; now if you’ll ever be so kind, I believe that if I grab it here, I might be able to get up. Yes! You can assist me by lifting me up here!” you exclaimed, looking back slightly at the man. The mans smile faded slightly, “So no beast and no trolls, his looks would matter to you?” “Well of course not, his looks don’t matter to me, but his heart does, and I cannot get any answer on that either” you answered curtly before speaking again, “Now come, make haste, grip me here…” you explained gesturing to your corseted waist, “... and just lift me, I believe I can make it over the garden wall.” Still looking up at the wall you don’t notice than man approaching you.

“I must be honest my lady,” you turned to look at him. “I have no intentions on helping you over the garden wall.” His smile came back, teeth white and glistening in the sun. The light of which highlighted his handsome feature. You threw him a questioning glance, “So you refuse to help a lady in distress?” you countered. The man just let out a low chuckle, “Only when said lady in distress is trying to go over a garden wall in order to not marry me.” Your face fell as you felt your heartbeat picking up again. Just like the day you found out you were to be married. You backed away from the man, taking in a couple deep breaths. The man followed, stepping closer to you. Smile reaching his eyes and his nose crinkling slightly, “Hello y/n. I’m Heeseung.” You began to apologize to him, getting ready to curtsy “Your majesty- “, however, he grabbed your arm, hand gently sliding down to hold your hand. “No not your majesty, Heeseung, just Heeseung.” Before you could speak again you heard a pair of footsteps. Your brother came rushing around the corner. “Y/n, where on heavens earth have you been? We have been looking everywhere for you” he hissed before quickly bowing to greet Heeseung. Heeseung gave a polite greeting back, “No need to be worried here, I was just chatting with Y/n. She was deciding whether she wishes to marry me.” Your brother looked between the two of you incredulously, “Well of- of course she wants to marry you” he stuttered. Heeseung simply shook his head, flipping is light hair back, “Is that truly what you wish Y/n?” He hummed at you. “Yes, your majest- “, his eyes flickered over your face making their way to your eyes. “Yes Heeseung, I do wish to marry you,” He nodded, giving you a charming smile, “Vey well then I shall see you in the wedding hall.”

After changing into a wedding dress more becoming of you, you made your way into the wedding hall. Your brother walking you down the long and narrow isle as the orchestra played in the background. Looking towards the end of the isle you saw Heeseung standing. He was in his pristine white suit; his white light hair was pushed back. Not a single strand was out of place, he looked absolutely perfect. Your brother handed you off to Heeseung before going to sit down. Heeseung smiled at you gently as he held your hands in his.

The wedding ceremony was quick. It seemed to go by in the blink of an eye. Before you even knew it you had said your vows of promise and celebrated rightfully with the people in attendance. After the sun had set you and Heeseung began to say goodbye to your guest before being ushered out of the large church and into a carriage. Heeseung held your hand the entire way back to the palace, his thumb gently stroking the back of your hand. “You will absolutely love it, before you came, I had the whole palace of Kew redesigned and made just perfect for you” he chimed. You looked at him quizzingly, “will you not be there as well?” He paused for a moment before ignoring your question. He continued about the newly designed palace. As the palace quickly approached, he finished up his explaining about everything he had done. He exited the carriage first turning around to assist you out, leading you to the doors he escorted you inside before letting you go. “Now that you shall find yourself settled, I shall return to my observatory” he nodded letting go of your hand and briskly walking away from you. You frowned deeply, “Is that how it is to be? You are there and me here alone?” You asked the question. Heeseung looked exasperated, “Yes, it is easier that way.” “For whom?” you questioned back at him “For you or for me?” He looked at you, cheeks reddening and his breaths becoming unsteady, “I will not debate this” he hissed, as you opened your moth to speak, he cut you off, “I have decided, I am your king!” His voice boomed throughout the room. Silently you clenched your teeth, wondering how it all could go wrong in a matter of minutes, “Very well, it was my mistake. I thought you to just be Heeseung. Good night your majesty.” You curtsied before turned, ignoring his small calls to you and making your way deeper into the palace walls.

Days had passed and you were beginning to grow bored in the empty palace. Your footman was of no help as you were not allowed to do anything or be seen in public since it was supposed to be your honeymoon. The longer you were alone the deeper in your thoughts you fell. When you first met Heeseung he was so charming. His award-winning smile swept you off your feet and you were so happy to marry him. The sweet way he helped you and the gentle way he had first spoke to you made your heart throb with hurt of his actions when you first came to the palace. Eventually You had grown tired of being alone, unable to do anything, only being with your footman. One day at dinner as you were struggling to cut up a piece of meat you threw your silverware down on the plate; startling your footman and the servants that were posted around the room, “Joong?” you questioned the footman, “Yes, your majesty?” “Ready the carriage.” You stated as you started smoothing out your dress. “Very well your majesty, might I ask to where we’re going?” You nodded, stepping away from the table as your chair scratched over the floor, “Were going to see my husband.”

The carriage ride was short, however it felt like a lifetime to you. Once you reached the observatory Heeseung’s footman came out. “The king does not wish to see you your majesty.” He stated firmly. You looked at him, eyes narrowing. “And if I WISH to see the king?” you questioned. The footman let out an exasperated sigh, having nothing more to say. You pushed past him and into the doors of the observatory. As you entered you were stunned at the sight of it. There were several dinner plates everywhere; along with stretched out rolls of parchment, all with various sketches of stars and planets on them. In the middle of the observatory sat your husband. His shoulders bare and exposed in the soft moonlight coming from the opening on top of the observatory. His skin glistening and smooth. Before you spoke you took a moment to look at him, wanting to commit his figure to your mind. He was tall and rather lean but at the same time, he was muscular. You had witnessed him do farm chores around the palace grounds but seeing him relaxed and in his own head was something else. Before you had a chance to alert him to your present, his footman busted in. “Your majesty, Queen Y/N has arrived to see you.”

Heeseung turned around and once again you found yourself falling into his gaze. Something was different about his eyes this time. It seemed as if he wasn’t all there. As if he was somehow here on earth in front of you and up somewhere in space. “Ahh my dearest Y/n, why have you come to me today?” he babbled, turning back to his telescope. You scoffed face contorting, “Is this where you have been the entire time?” You snapped. “Sitting in here all alone, while I writher away lonely in Kew?” The king scoffs and spares you but a glance, “Would you rather me be out visiting a whore house?”. You gasped at his harshness, “I would rather you be with someone else than to come second place to some stars.” You murmured, walking around so he could face you. He looked at you, eyes traveling over your form. “Go. I don’t wish to see you; I don’t wish to be near you. Go back to your home.” His voice is eerily quiet and calm. “Why must I go? Why must I have to spend my existence alone and with only Joong and my ladies in waiting to keep me company? Why can I not have time with you?” you questioned trying to get closer to him. He pushed you away gently, “I do not know why it is so hard for you to understand y/n. I do not wish to be near you, I do not wish to see you. I do not wish to speak to you. So go.” He seethed, voice becoming louder after every sentence. With a quiet sniffle you let out a sigh and walked out. Calling out for Joong and making your way back into the carriage.

After you had left Heeseung got up from the floor, cleaning up some of the parchment around the observatory. His footman came towards him and began to help. “Do you think I am wrong for what I am doing?” Heeseung questioned him. His footman cleared his throat, “It is not my place to say, however I do believe you could be kinder to her majesty. From what I hear it has been exceptionally hard on her…” His footman trailed off not wanting to overstep his boundaries. Heeseung sighs, shoulders bending inwards, “I know that, but you of all people know why I am not to become close with her. I could not live with myself if anything were to happen. If I were to lose control. But perhaps I may have been too harsh on her.” Heeseung confessed, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. He looked over towards his footman, “Find out what she likes, I wish to get her an extravagant gift” Heeseung’s footman nodded, finishing his task and going to find what was requested of him.

The next day you woke up earlier than usual. Instead of altering your lady’s maid you allowed yourself to lay in bed. After finally deciding to get up and allow yourself to be dressed you made your way down to breakfast. Another day alone, could it possibly get any worse. Shortly after you began eating Heeseung’s footman came into the large dining room carrying a small basket wrapped in red ribbon. “A gift from the king to you, your majesty, he would like to gift you a dog of the finest breed our country can offer.” You look at the footman incredulously as he sets the small basket down and a small dog comes tumbling out. “What is that?” your question. “Well, a dog of course your majesty. “That is nothing more than a deformed bunny. Regardless, as it is from the king I will accept it graciously” You nodded to the footman and signaled for Joong to take the dog. “Clearly it will be my only company in this palace.” Quickly you finished your breakfast before leaving the dining room with Joong and the dog.

After meeting with your ladies in waiting and venting to your newly trusted confidant Jiyun, you had settled down. She explained to you what your present in the palace has done for the people and how it has affected the way others are seen. Confiding in her feeling good, you felt the relief wash over you as you talked to her about everything that had conspired behind the high walls of the palace. In return she told you the rumors circulating about the possibility of an heir and the things your new Mother-in-law had said about you. Things from you being a bad wife and queen to you being un-pure when you arrived on shore. When you shared the truth about your nonexistent escapades with the king she gave you a look of pity, asking you if you had known what was to happen when Heeseung would eventually bed you. You had told her just what your lady’s maid told you, there again the look of pity crossed her face as she got up and got the supplies to inform you what was to happen.

Over the next few weeks Heeseung sent more gifts, including more dogs. You had enough to have each of your ladies in waiting carry one around for you. One day you woke up, going through your morning routine of getting dressed and pampered by the maids and going to breakfast. Much to your surprise Heeseung was there waiting for you. He seemed perfectly chipper as he enjoyed his breakfast. You sat down in front of him, eyes gliding across the room. The servants who usually seemed much more relaxed were now on guard and stiff against the edges of the room. “And what are you doing here?” You asked, easing an eyebrow slightly. He chuckled deeply, putting his for and knife down, “isn’t it obvious, I want to join my wife in our home.” You drew in a quick and deep breath, “Our home? No this is my home. A home you left me too alone.” He’s eyes soften looking at you, “I apologize for how I have been acting, but please give me a chance.” Without a second glance you got up, telling Joong that you would that your breakfast in the drawing room before walking out of the dining room. How could he think after weeks of ignoring you for the stars and sending you useless gifts you have no need for, he could come back and pretend as if everything was fine.

Over the following weeks you and Heeseung fell into a routine. Eventually you agreed to at least share one meal together and converse a little. At dinner Heeseung says across from you, eyes following you closely. “I would like to show you my observatory...” he spoke softly. Your head snapped up to him, eyes widening slightly, “Really?” He nodded, “yes I feel it’s only right that I show you what has kept me away from you for so long.” You smiled at his stately finally feeling like you were getting somewhere with the distant king. When nightfall came the next night Heeseung, and his footman came to get you from your room. You smiled softly as Heeseung gently took your hand, placing a small kiss on the back of it. As he led you out of the palace you had begun to feel nervous. What was so important about this observatory that it kept him away from you. The road to the carriage had felt like it took years. Stepping out carefully with the help of Heeseung you both made your way up the wide cobblestone steps. Entering the observatory, he opened the top to the telescope, guiding you to look inside.

“I’ve always found the planets interesting. I think it’s amazing how we can be so small and insignificant compared to the world. I have never been one to want to look at the darker side of things. Though ever since my father died at war it has been hard for me. Taking over my father’s place was the only thing I was created for. It was my only life’s purpose. I am to bear the burden of every mother, father, and child in this country.” He glances down, “Life is never easy, and I would not have expected it to be. But this crown is pressure on my head, a constant weight and reminder that I am not allowed to crack, that I am not allowed to be anyone other than who the people need me to be. I cannot just be your husband; I cannot just be my mother’s son.” His jaw clenches, eyes still cast upon the floor. You look at him, sorrow and pity finding the way to your eyes, as he continues “No matter how much I want to be, I must always be king. A king first, a king of the people, one who must take into consideration everyone. I wish to just be your Heeseung. I wish to just love you every day, to just stand by your side every day, to just be with you every day for the rest of my life… “You approach him, hands finding their way to his arms, gently tracing down them, “but you don’t have to do it alone, I’m right here, I too simply wish to be with you. In every way, with joy and with sorrow. I just want to be with you.” He looks at you, eyes soft and a charming smile making his way to his face. Gently he takes your face in his hands, leaning down and brushing your lips together ever so slightly.

Your heart jumps into your throat, another nervous feeling washing over you. This time it makes you feel giddy and excited rather than anxious. Slowly you lean into the kiss. Finally pressing your lips together. His hands find his way from your face softly sliding down before settling on your waist, pulling you closer into him. The world itself seemed to pause as the kiss went on. Lips against lips, and breaths interchanging with each kiss. As you leaned into his embrace, he pulled back resting his forehead against your hands still gripping at your waist. “Let’s go home.” The simple statement from him made you flustered, you could feel your cheeks warming up. Nevertheless, you nodded, and he once again led you out and to the carriage, holding onto you the entire way back to the palace.       

Once you go to the palace Heeseung once again helps you out of the carriage, holding on to you ever so gently. Making your way inside through the large palace doors you both stop in the foyer, your maids coming up to assist you in getting ready for bed as it had become quite late. You look around, eyes finding Heeseung, he gives you a smile and allows them to take you away, “Go and get comfortable, I’ll find you later” he smiles at you once again giving you a small kiss. Simply nodding you allow yourself to be taken up the grand staircase and ushered into a bathroom, the ruby and gold encrusted tub sat in the middle with heaps of steam rolling off the top of the water inside. “We took the liberty of drawing you a bath Ma’am” your maid said, you nodded at her in thank you allowing her to undress you from your corset and large gown before getting in the bath. After being thoroughly scrubbed down by your maid you had finally gotten out of the bath. Your maid dressed you in a white button-down night dress. Making your way back to your room you let out a sigh, rolling your shoulders as the maids opened the door for you.

You stopped in your tracks as you walked into the large opulent room. Sitting on the large bed in the middle of your room was Heeseung. Leaning back on his hands, clad in just a pair of night pants and an unbuttoned night shirt showing off his chest. He glanced over at you as you entered the room, pushing himself up and walking towards you. He takes you hands in his, binging them up to his mouth and kissing them softly, “You look simply mesmerizing, y/n”, your cheeks heated up once again at his complement, looking down at your intertwined hands you smiled. “Thank you…” You unlaced your fingers bringing your hand up to cup his face, bringing your faces closer together. You leaned in close to him, softly pressing your lips together. Before you could go any further, he stopped you, “Are you sure this is something you truly want?” His question caught you off guard and you thought back to what you were told by one of your ladies in waiting. “Of course I want this, I want to be with you” you whispered to him. He smiled, kissing you gently, “Do you know what is to happen?” you nodded silently, “I have been told… however I did not enjoy the part where my head is to hit the wall repeatedly” he let out a low laugh and caressed the back of your head, “That okay my love, we can stop that.” You took note of how his eyes crinkled at the side as he leaned down and kissed you.

You pulled away, reaching to start to unbutton your night dress, “I fear I may have made a wrong choice of wardrobe” you said as you struggled with the various buttons. He shook his head, “no do not worry about it, I’m very good with buttons.” His hands followed yours as he pulled you closer to him, lips pressing against the sides of your neck. With little effort he popped the buttons down your night dress. A small moan escaped from your throat as Heeseung continued to trail kisses down your neck, biting and sucking gently. Slipping the dress off your shoulders and allowing it to fall on the floor leaving you completely exposed. He leaned back, admiring you, “you are beautiful, you are everything I imagined you to be and more…” your ears began to ring, and you felt the heat crawl up your neck. You thanked him with a kiss, running your hands up his sides sliding them under the top of his unbuttoned shirt, slipping it off his shoulders. “As are you” he shook his head, turning and softly pushing you down onto the plush bed, “I can simply never match your beauty, you are ethereal.” His statement made your heart race. Your breath quickened as Heeseung once again began kissing down your neck, hands gripping harshly at your sides, “you are ever so perfect my love.”

You let out a whiny moan hands coming up and gripping his hair as you reflexively arched into his touch. His lips found their way to your chest. Another soft moan escaped your lips as his hot mouth wrapped around your pert nipple, his other hand coming up and gingerly tweaking the other one. It was a new sensation to you, one that sent shockwaves of heat throughout your body. You bit your lip letting out small puffs of air but concealing your moans. Heeseung’s eyes trailed up to meet your as he switched from one nipple to the other, “Do not hide your beautiful sounds from me I wish to hear them. To know that I am making you feel the upmost pleasure.” You nodded silently a gasp leaving your mouth as you felt his hand train from your breast and down to your thighs. Heeseung had stopped his assault on your chest and nipples; allowing himself to slide further down into the bed. You felt the same surge of heat flood through you. Both of his hands fell onto your thighs, gently pushing them apart and exposing you to him. You shivered as his fingers gently spread your folds. Without holding back, he licked up from your entrance mouth circling around your clit and sucking on it harshly. Your hips jolted, hot pleasure brining through you at the new sensation. A whine left your throat as your hands ran through his hair pulling on it. Heeseung moaned against you, dipping his tongue into you and savoring your taste on his tongue.

Slowly he begins to trail his hands up and down the inside of your thighs before slipping two fingers inside of you focusing his efforts back on your clit. The stretch of his fingers is a bit uncomfortable but still pleasurable. He waits to let you adjust to the feeling before slowly starting to thrust them. A gasp leaves you at the feeling.  Clenching down on his fingers you start to follow his movements, pleasure seeping into every limb as you pull at his hair. With a breathy moan you cum, legs trying to close at the newfound feeling. Heeseung’s hand grips your thigh, forcing your legs to stay open as he licks up what he can of your arousal.

Heeseung moves back up in the bed, pulling his fingers from you and sticking them in his mouth. Your face burns at the sight, Slowly Heeseung pulls of his pants, your eyes trail downwards to his exposed cock. It was long and hard, leaking precum and red, slowly Heeseung starts grinding gently against you, “Are you doing okay my love?” he asked, his voice gentle and caring. You let out a nod slightly spent from the previous orgasm, Heeseung shook his head, “No, I need words dear.” Breathing heavily, you once again nodded, “Yes, yes, I am doing so good please continue.” Heeseung nodded, bending over to give you a deep kiss. Slowly he lined himself up, rubbing his tip against your clit before he pushed into you, although he had thoroughly stretched you out there was still a slight burn. Your hands moved up to grip his shoulders, nails digging into them as he stopped moving, allowing you time to adjust. After a brief pause, he looked down at you, waiting for you to allow him to continue, you pulled him down, giving him another kiss, “I think I am okay now...” you mumbled against his lips. He nodded, gripping your thigh and pulling your leg up onto his waist pulling out slightly before thrusting in again. After a few experimental thrusts he started to speed up. With a loud moan you through your head back, mouth open and hands gripping tightly at him. “You look so beautiful, so perfect for me” he huffed continuing to bury himself deep inside you. You whine, eyes clenched shut in pleasure. “You feel so good wrapped around me” he groaned, thrusting relentlessly into your velvety walls. You moaned loudly, small pleads of pleasure leaving your lips. “You’re going to look so good with my seed dripping out of you, humm would you like that my queen?”

His filthy words draw you closer to your impending orgasm. You nod, your brain fuzzy, the only thing on your mind was the way his thick cock dragged against your walls. A loud moan rips from your throat as you clench around him again, “That’s it my love, cum, cum for me beautiful” Heeseung whispers, moaning lowly. You orgasm rushes over you, and with one last thrust from Heeseung he comes as well, painting your walls white with his seed, dripping and causing a mess.  You trembled coming down from your high, cringing at the feeling of sweat and hair sticking to your body but stayed beneath Heeseung anyway. He gave you a final gentle kiss before pulling out and lying next to you, arms wrapping around you and pulling you tightly into his chest allowing you to lay your head down on his chest. “You were absolutely perfect y/n.” You smiled stretching your neck and giving him a short but sweet kiss as a thank you before you finally relaxed in his arms, the both of you falling asleep in a pile of intertwined limbs.

The next morning you woke up alone. You got up from bed feeling slight discomfort as your lady’s maid came in to help you bathe once again and get dressed for the day. As your maid scrubbed you down in the tub, she looked at you with a pained smile. “I was informed to let your majesty know that the Kings mother has arrived and will be staying for the day.” You clinched your teeth together simply nodding and allowing her to finish washing you off. As your maid tightened the corset and placed you in the large, elegant dress you couldn’t help but space out. You wondered by you mother-in-law would choose now of all days to visit you. It was no secret, the things she said of you, but even so you did not imagine that she would go as far as to hound you in your own home. Walking down the large hall you had a wide smile on your face. Looking in each room for your husband your footsteps softened as you heard his booming voice, followed by the screech of his mother.

You were brought back to the day you found out you were to be married, sneaking around and peaking from the corner of the doorframe you listened to them intently. “I have done everything you asked. You asked me to get married. I let you choose, and I got married. You asked me to stay away from her and keep hidden for as long as I could, and so I did. You asked that I bed her and try for an heir and so I did. What more could you want from me?” He yelled sharply, clearly trying to maintain his composure. “I want results, I want the next heir and I want news of her falling pregnant soon. You are to remain here and continue to try until we get the next king to this country.” You could hardly hear her reply as your heartbeat thumped in your ears. Utterly heartbroken and angry you stepped into the door frame, pushing it open wider. Heeseung looked at you, his face falling as he realized you had been standing there for far too long; hearing all the things he had to say about you and his thoughts on your relationship. “Y/n- “Before he continued you cut him off; breathing in deeply, you started to speak, turning towards him and bowing down, “I apologize your majesty, As I must have misunderstood our situation and the way you truly felt about me. Now that I know I will refrain from seeking companionship with you.” Yu looked towards your mother-in-law and bowed again, “I will of course continue to try for an heir, I will not fail. I will perform my duty as it has been laid out for me.” His mother looked satisfied with your answer, nodding her head and looking between the two of the, “Well at least she is not completely useless or incompetent.” Hearing the spiteful comment from your mother-in-law, you turned on your heel and walked out of the room.

By nightfall his mother had left, and you and Heeseung were alone. He had tried to talk to you several times throughout the day, but you had simply ignored him stating that you would see him the next time you were to try for an heir. As the weeks dragged on you had been trying. Eventually the day after next it was time for you to once again try for a heir. You found yourself walking into the bathroom as Heeseung was taking a bath. Stripping yourself of your bed coat you stood in front of him. Quickly he told his footman to get out. “Just get in…” he demanded, and you followed. Dropping down on top of him in the tub you pulled his face to yours, connecting your lips in a hot kiss. His hands found their way to your thighs rubbing up them and lifting your now soaking dress. You felt him harden as you ran your lips down his neck grinding down gently. Heeseung sucked in a breath allowing his head to fall back and for you to continue your ministrations. You had never been this confident before, Heeseung just had to wonder where it came from.  Before long he found himself wanting even more of you. Stopping you from going further down his chest he gripped your chin, bringing your lips back up to meet his as he untired your bed coat. His fingers went back to your thighs, ghosting across them and then into your dress, pulling it over your head and throwing it to the floor. Grabbing at his hard cock in the water you line him up to your entrance, sinking down onto him with a brief pause.

No matter how many times you have done this the slight stretch is always there. A moan rips from Heeseung’s throat as you begin to ride him, bouncing up and down quickly. Your own moans were just as loud, acting as music to Heeseung’s ears. His fingers dig into your hips allowing him to set the pace.  Your thighs started to burn as Heeseung slowed down your bouncing, kissing you deeply, his tongue slipping into your mouth, “You’re so perfect for me,” he praised moving one hand down in between your legs, fingers pressing harshly against your sensitive clit, rubbing it in small circled. A high-pitched moan left your lips, as your hips jolted slightly from the pleasurable friction, “Heeseung please” you begged quietly already feeling your orgasm impending as your legs had begun to shake. Heeseung didn’t stop, “You do not have to ask my dear go ahead, come for me” he moaned out into your ear, starting to thrust up into you faster. You whined, clenching tightly around him, as you came his fingers still rubbing on your clit. Heeseung followed shortly after you, his warm cum filling you up and leaking down his cock.

Panting heavily, you collapsed on top of him, sighing at the relief of your burning thighs, allowing yourself to relax into the now cold bath. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed the top of your head, “I’ve missed this you know; I’ve missed the intimacy between the two of us…” he mumbled. You nodded your head, “As have I but it is not my fault that it had disappeared” Heeseung let out a sigh nodding his head as he place it on top of yours, “I am aware and for that I am sorry. I am always so caught up in who I must be as a king I forget that somedays I can just be Heeseung and no one else.” You gave his neck a gentle kiss, “It is okay, let us just move on, what has happened has happened and there is nothing we can do about that. It is what happens from here that matters now.” You spoke softly into his neck. “Oh, how wise you are my dear queen.” He praised you as he pulled away to get out of the tub. ‘As much as I love laying here with you, we must get out, it is rather late, and I fear I do not like the feeling on my fingers and toes wrinkling.” You agreed with his statement allowing him to get out of the tub and dry off, dressing himself in clothes that were already laid out, before he came back to help you. Ever so gently he pulled you out of the tub, wrapping you in a bath towel and drying you off gently. His eyes fell to your soaking dress on the floor, “I fear that you may not be able to wear that one again tonight my queen.” You giggled at his response. “And who shall be at fault if not you my king,” he smiled widely at you, “Nevertheless I do agree, I shall call for a new one.” After a short wait a maid brought you a new dress, helping you change. Heeseung took you into his arms, walking you to his room and laying you down on the bed, joining you shortly after. “Stay with me tonight please?” He asked. You simply nodded, allowing yourself to lay in his arms as you finally dozed off.  

You were awoken by the sound of a crash coming from outside the palace, in the garden. You looked around the room noticing Heeseung was nowhere to be found. Hastily you jumped out of bed, putting on your bed coat and walking out to the palace garden. There you found Heeseung stripped naked in the rose garden, rocking back and forth quietly singing about the planets to himself, hands out in front of him as if playing an imaginary piano. You knew he had been going through something over the past few weeks, but you could have never imagined it to end with him like this. His footman was standing in front of him, trying to get ahold of his attention. As you approached them his footman turned to you, “You should be inside your majesty the king would not like you to see him like this.” You shook your head at him, “Absolutely not. I will not abandon my husband in his time of need.” You made your way closer, pushing the footman out of the way and crouching down in front of Heeseung grabbing his hands. “Venus has gone away, will she come out to play?” You heard his quiet singing. “Heeseung, Heeseung my love, are you okay?” His eyes finally found their way towards you. You smiled at him, moving a hand to caress his face.  He shakes your hand away from his, grabbing your face, “Venus you are not in the sky, have you come to play with me?” You bit your lip at his question shaking your head. “It’s me Heeseung. It’s Y/n. I’m your wife.” He smiles widely, laughing loudly, “Yes of course you’re my y/n. You are way too beautiful to just be Venus. She could never hold a candlelight to you, my dearest.” His ramblings brought you worry but you kept calm for his sake. “Of course, and you are my dear husband, Venus has gone away, so we must go inside now.” Heeseung nodded in agreement. You pulled him up and took off your bed coat, wrapping it around him and leading him to the bathroom. You instructed his footman to bring you water and a cloth. When his footman came back with the warm bucket of water you gently scrubbed the dirt off Heeseung, assisting in getting him dressed and back in bed. You turned to look at Heeseung’s footman once you got him settled, “You must make sure that none of this leaves the palace grounds. Make up what excuse you have too but no one must know.” His footman nodded bowing to you with a quick, “Yes Ma’am.” before he left. Laying down next to Heeseung you gently stroked his hair back, kissing the top of his head, begging whatever deity would listen that he would be okay in the morning.

When morning finally came you once again woke up alone. You got a dreadful feeling as you got flashbacks to the last time you had woken up alone after sleeping with Heeseung. You had hoped that today would be better for the both of you. You also had hoped that Heeseung might finally be open about what he was going through. Making your way to the dining room a shy smile came over your face as you noticed he was sitting down at the table. You sat down as you were served your breakfast. “Are you doing well this morning?” you asked him quietly. His head snapped up from looking down at his tea, “You must already know the answer to that.” He stated. You nodded your head, “I do but it never hurts to ask, you gave me quite a fright last night. I was worried about you.” He looked you up and down, trying to find any sign that you were lying and stayed silent. Finishing up your breakfast you gave him a nod, deciding not to say anything else and allow him to sit in silence. Before getting up to leave you cleared your throat, “I have an appointment with the doctor today, so we shall see if anything comes of it.” Heeseung remained silent as you left. In that moment he knew that if you were to have finally fallen pregnant, he would have to make himself start to visit his doctor again. He would have to get himself under control, no more episodes and no more mod swings. Shortly after your doctor’s appointment word reached Heeseung that you were indeed pregnant. When he read the letter, he felt his heart stop. His heart hurt for you and for your future child. However, it also swelled with joy, as hard as adapting to this marriage has been he was so proud to finally have something to share with just you. As for you, you were elated with the news. You had finally achieved what was thought to be your only role in life and you could not wait for your baby to come.

It has been several weeks since you got news back from the doctor regarding your pregnancy. You knew he hadn’t been back to his observatory, but he had seldom been seen in the halls of the palace. Now several months pregnant you couldn’t stand not knowing where he was. You had tried sending him letters and even getting Joong to harass Heeseung’s footman to try and find out where he could be hiding. Even through all of that you still had no idea. Though as time went on and a few months passed you began to grow suspicion about the chatter from the servants. You had heard some of them talking about hearing screams being concealed deeply in the underground chambers beneath the main palace for several days and nights. Others talked about how it must have been someone who betrayed the crown, and though you wouldn’t have doubted it, with your husband missing you just had to think otherwise. The rumor mill led you to none other than your mother-in-law. Walking into her large drawing room you ignored the woman that was sitting with her. “Where is he?” you demanded, slapping a hand down on the gold marble table. Your mother-in-law jumped as the sound, giving you a glare before turning to look at the woman sitting with her, “I suppose we will have to catch up some other time, I fear the queen’s pregnancy has gotten to her.” The other woman let out a giggle, muttering something about having been there before as she curtsied and walked out of the room, allowing the servants to close the heavy wooden door behind her. “You must’ve lost your manners, girl” she hissed at you, “You have no right to demand to see the king, let alone know where he is. It is none of your concern.” You clenched your jaw, teeth grinding down against each other as you huffed out, “No right? No right, you say. I have every right, even more so than you. I have every right to demand to know where my husband is and what he is doing. I have every right to see him!” Your mother-in-law simply shook her head, “He would not want you to know where he is.” She sucked in another breath but before she could begin to talk again you cut her off. “I know. I know that the king is mad, I know that he is sick.” Anger flared in your mothers-in-law eyes as he looked at you, “The king is not, and I repeat, is not mad. He is simply burdened.” You shook your head. Voice breaking as you spoke, “You do not understand, I know that he is, I have seen it firsthand. Yet I choose to love him anyway, I choose to stay by his side.” As much as this woman had hurt you, made you feel inferior and alone you couldn’t bear to see her do the same to your husband, her own son. “So please, I will do what I must but please let me see him.” However, it seemed as though your pleads had fallen on deaf ears as your mother-in-law walked away. You only had one other option, to go to Heeseung’s footman and convince him yourself.

Following a short ride to the main palace you met Heeseung’s footman. You glared at him as Joong helped you out of the carriage you had arrived in, being extra careful of your pregnant belly. “I am demanding to see the king.” You spoke out calmly. Heeseung’s foot man looked at you. Before he could begin speaking back you shook your head, “I am demanding to see the king. As your queen you are required to allow me to see him. As his right hand and aide, you are sworn to protect him. With that being said, you must take me to the king.” Heeseung’s footman sighed, not saying a word but casting a long glance to a lone cellar door on the side of the building. Without saying another word, you took off, Heeseung’s footman and Joong following closely behind you. “Your majesty you mustn’t enter there, he does not wish for you to see him in this state.” The footman pleaded with you. “He is my husband; I shall see him in whatever state I wish.” You responded as you threw open the cellar door. Immediately after its opening you heard terrifying screams, one that could only be riveled by women in labor. Quickly making your way down the three small steps and into the leaky dark cellar you followed the sounds of the screams. They become louder and more deafening as you near a door at the end of the long tunnel, light being cast through the cracks. The guards outside of the door moved to stop you, nearly grabbing you up before Joong or Heeseung’s footman came to stop them. Silently the guards turned to Heeseung’s footman with questioning glances. The footman sighed, “Let the queen in, she wishes to speak with the king.”  Without any further instructions the doors were pushed open by the two guards. The sight of the room made you sick. It was dirty and there were rats and roaches everywhere. Just barely standing in front of a throne-like chair in the middle was Heeseung, head down and nodding out. His feet were plunged into a vat of steaming water. He was clothed in simple white sleeping bottoms, a thick sheen of sweat covering him as his hair stuck down to his forehead. The palace doctor stood over him, two electrodes in hand and a sick smirk on his face, while two more guards held him up by his arms. The doctor pushed the electrodes into Heeseung’s skin, causing him to scream out in agony. You let out a curdled scream, causing all the men, apart from Heeseung to look over at you. “Release the king this instant!” You demanded, edging closer to the men. The doctor let out a hiss, demanding you to be removed. “No, I demand that you release the king. I am your Queen, and as such you will do as I say or face the consequences.” The guards holding Heeseung up let him go, allowing him to stumble out of the vat of water. You moved quickly, allowing him to fall into you. He looked up, eyes hazy, “y/n my love is that you” His voice was hours no doubt due to the torture he had endured. You nodded, whispering out a small yes as you stroked his head, “Just rest, it’s okay, you’re okay now” You spoke softly to him. Heeseung’s eyes closed as he finally allowed himself to completely nod out. You looked towards Joong and Heeseung’s footman signaling for them to take him. They did so quickly, carrying him out to the carriage with you not far behind. The doctor ran out following behind you, “Your majesty you must understand. All I was doing was trying to cure him.” You whipped around at the careless doctor’s comment, “Cure him? What exactly were you trying to cure? He is just fine as he is. He is a great king and husband. You should be lucky if you are allowed to practice medicine in this country ever again. I’ll have you tried for your crimes against the crown, and it will only be by the king’s hand whether you make it out alive. So, whatever it is you supposably tried to cure him of you best hope he is grateful for it.” You threatened him, before returning to the carriage and being taken home with Heeseung at your side.

 It had been several days since you had dragged Heeseung out of the dungeon that the deranged doctor kept him locked in. Your due date was coming up soon and you were stressed and worried about him. You knew that he blamed himself for the way you found him, no doubt from the manipulation of the doctor. Your mother-in-law had continued to tell you to leave him be and allow  him to stay by himself, but you simply could not bear the thought that he was alone and hurting. So, when night fell, and your mother-in-law retired for bed you and Joong set out for the observatory. The giant doors scratched the marble floor as they opened. Walking in you spotted Heeseung, much like he was the first time you found him here, shirtless with things scattered all around him, newly minted scars forming on his upper body. “Is there a reason you have yet to return home?” you questioned hands coming up around your obviously showing bump. Heeseung looked at you, eyes wide. He stayed silent for a moment and shook his head, “Nothing that is a concern of yours. You need to leave Y/n” he spoke coldly. You mimicked him shaking your head “No. Not until you tell me you do not love me” Heeseung opened his mouth, ‘What does that have to do with anything?” You stared at him incredulously, “It has everything to do with it. I have heard you say that you wish for me to go, that you wish for me to leave, even going as far to say that you wish we had never married. But you have never said that you do not love me. If you truly do not, then tell me. Because if you do love me then I will continue to come here, every day to bring you home.” Heeseung’s face fell, frown becoming deeper. Instead of letting him speak you continued, “Well what do you have to say? Tell me? Tell me you do not love me, and I will go. I will never return; I will have our baby on my own and only come around when my position calls for another one. We can spend the rest of our lives apart.” Heeseung’s eyes clouded, and he stood from his position, drawing closer to you. “My heart is only for you; it calls your name day and night. It yearns for you whenever you are away. I cannot breathe without you here. I have loved you, desperately, so from the moment I first seen you in the garden. You are the only one for me, but you don’t need my broken parts. You don’t need the me that cannot give you a perfect man to love.”  Your head snapped up as you responded “And do you believe that mine does not? Do you truly believe that I would not love every single part of you? Do you think so lowly of me?” Heeseung cuts you off, “Of course I do not think lowly of you, you are the most magnificent person I have ever had the pleasure to known. But- “you shook your head, grabbing him and pulling him to you, being careful of you protruding belly, “Then that is all we need to know, I love you and you love me.” Kissing him deeply you speak again, “I will forever be by your side, I will love you through your good days; and I will love you through your bad ones too. I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that I love you, all of you, if you let me.” Tears cloud your eyes as you stare up at him, blinking them away they trail down your face. Heeseung looks at you, face fallen and eyes sad. He snakes his hands up to your face, wiping your tears away, “Only if you let me do the same.” With a nod you kiss him deeply again, hugging him tightly to you as his arms wrap around you. Finally, you feel at ease with being in his arms.

The day had finally came. Sharp pains shot through you as you laid down in bed, your lady’s maid beside you gripping onto your hand tightly. Another lady’s maid sat at the end of the bed, instructing you to keep your legs up and opened as she carefully checked on the baby. You heard your husband screaming at someone for a doctor, telling them that is what you needed. With each second the searing pain became worse, crying, you called out to your husband. In a matter of seconds, he came barreling through the door a doctor in tow. The doctor took over for the lady’s maid down at the foot of your bed, proving his own check and giving your husband a nod. Heeseung kneeled at your side, allowing you to grip his hand as hard as you needed. Effectively taking place of the First Ladies maid. “You are doing splendid my darling, there is no need to be panicked. Just relax my dear girl, relax.” Heeseung hummed into your sweat drenched hairline, placing a gentle kiss when he finished, “Just give it time, our child will soon see the world all thanks to you.” You gave him a halfhearted smile before another scream of pain left you. The doctor took a deep breath, “your majesties, it is time. You need to start pushing. The baby is ready.” With a nod you started, the pain becoming worse than before. Heeseung sat by you the entire time and made sure you were taken care of after the birth. When you were finally done the doctors and ladies maids took the baby and cleaned him up. Several minutes later you were met with your newborn being laid out in your chest. You smiled at Heeseung, looking over and seeing his eyes filled with so much love and joy. It was at that moment you knew that you would do anything for the two of them. And you wouldn’t change a thing.

Only seven months after your first baby had you gotten pregnant with another one. You and Heeseung were very excited. You were happy to say the least that your little family kept growing with nothing but love and support. One day you were in the garden, watching as Heeseung threw around weeds and dead flowers, helping with the landscaping. Your now five children had sat below you at your feet begging for a story. You giggled and picked up your oldest, nuzzling into him causing him to giggle back. “Now have I ever told you about the princess and the king?” You asked knowing what the several children’s answers would be. Little hands raised up as they all nodded, “yes yes but we want to hear it again!” Their little voices boomed across the garden. Heeseung head peaks up, nodding to you as he came and took a seat down next you. “Well, you see there was this beautiful princess who was set to get married. She was deathly afraid that her new husband was going to be a troll or a beast,” you started, sniffing your laughter. Heeseung rolled his eyes gently before continuing with your story, “but before she could escape, the king had found her trying to go over the garden wall.” “Of course, the princess didn’t know it was him at first and even tried to get him to help her escape” you interrupted him.  The children nodded along with the story, their smiles becoming wider as they watched you and Heeseung stare at each other. Heeseung took ahold of your hand as he continued the story, “but it was too late, as it was from that moment that the king knew she would be very special to him and he to her. He knew that she would be the one thing to save him from all else” Heeseung eyes glanced around the children taking in their wide and beautiful smile as he kissed the back of your hand.

Sure, your story was not perfect. It was filled with ups and downs, tragedy and pain. But over everything else it was true and the love you held for one another would never die. It was an eternal flame flickering even in the strongest of winds. It was the light that peaked out of the door at the end of a dark and damp corridor. It was hiding together and living together. It was understanding and compassionate. But most importantly it was yours and that’s all that truly mattered.

♡ ₊˚⊹ ♡ ₊˚⊹ ♡ ₊˚⊹ ♡ ₊˚⊹ ♡ ₊˚⊹ ♡ ₊˚⊹ ♡ ₊˚⊹ ♡ ₊˚⊹

❀❀❀ taglist (for enha as a bridgerton story) - @lol6sposts @signed-manny @peonywon @rayofsunshineeee @renchai @lwavander @jaeyunzlovr @eneiyri @moonchild-moonfairy @positivelyinlovewithjungwon @strxwbloody @yeonjinnie @firstclassjaylee @laurradoesloveu @smouches @baekxo07 @channiesdarling @microwavedstrawberr1es @jjaeyuns @penny44224 @sseishiross @heesitation @jakedoxxenvasion @jaklvbub @sunus-sun @sunwoniie @hybeboyenthusisast @dollschan @randomanothercreature @nctislifue @nanaheex @addictedtohobi @wolfhardbby @papichulomacy @monstaxdirtywonk @koizekomi @august25 @yaksokhaley @sofesyoongi @pinkkami @peytonthedino @onlyseungkwans @hotchwheels @icedtealeaf (i think i got everyone lmk if i missed you!!)

‼️‼️ ©️ @candysunoo 2024 DO NOT copy, repost or translate without permission ‼️‼️

[luvkuvi]

What's so good about him?!

Scaramouche X reader ☆ Smau

synopsis — Your ex boyfriend kuni is in a band called 5wirl and they're pretty well known considering him and his bandmates are still in college but you still hated his guts on how he ended things with you back then in highschool the day before graduation. So whats the best course of action in this situation? make a hate account of him of course. 

Genre — SMAU, Gn! reader, 5wirl au, modern college au, ex to lovers, enemies to lovers-ish(its more of the reader disliking scara) slowburn,fluff,crack,angst, cyber bullying, lots of kys + kms jokes and just typical stan twitter behavior. pictures used for the reader isnt meant to represent the reader!! its more of using the pose !!

💌 — first smau!! might be ooc in some and may be cringe due to most of the chapters early on is just basically daily stan twitter but hope you enjoy!! slow and inconsistent updates. Also timestamps dont matter unless stated otherwise

Status — started: 06/15/23 (taglist open)

Chapters:

babygirls + childe ☆ 5wirl

Teaser !

Act one ☆

01 – chill out

02 – dick riders

03 – unfold

04 – apologies

05 – better than him

06 – diversion

07 – diversion successful

08 – why now

09 – no

10 – please

11 – weird

12 – time

Act two ★

13 – curiosity

14 – no wonder

15 – catching up ☆

16 – stupid ☆

17 – coward

18 – selfish

19 – looking at you

20 – all too well

21 – change of mind

22 – interview

23 – quitting

24 – best friends

25 – suspicious

26 – surprise

27 – connecting the dots

28 – ignorance is bliss

Act three ☆

29 – trending

30 – overeacting

31 – well shit

32 – what

33 – hoes mad

34 – invisible string

35 – reunion

36 – oopsie

36.5 – flashback

37 – final show

.

.

Bonus ★

bonus – Story of us

Taglist!(closed): @sakiimeo @sagegreenthinks @evsolostheuniverse @ozzierenato @mechanicalbeat1 @bananasquash @admiringfish @misomiis @wolfe02 @msameikanevaeh @yukiipc @magica-ren @r0ttenhearts @vvyeislazzy @yuumaofc @klanxii @darthvada @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @yoyo-yui @deluluangel @katsumikumo @thenightsflower @lazy-sanns @sukunasrealgf @4thnocturne @danhenglovebot @sketcheeee @fumichannorakuen @featuredtofu @mine-lu @karma-gisa @amyena @onmywaytoteyvat @fujimoribaby @eliqusgenma @buubbbbly @reekapeeka @elernity @323jelly @kunikissr @miko1ly @feverish-dove @zuunotsane @pomeiu @yxcade @kascar-chronicle @supercoolusernameomg @otomegame-oneshots @cookieofwishes @swivy123(bold usernames means i couldn't tag you :<) 1/2

[maxtermind]

SCENE 1 :: YOU TORE ME RIGHT APART ↳ you were never not mine — carlos sainz ༉‧₊˚✧

★ : pairing :: carlos sainz x reader ★ : genre :: angst; fluff separated by a hidden emotional turmoil, carlos and y/n navigate the complexities of co-parenting their twins amidst the high-stakes f1 world. amidst paddock visits and personal healing, will they go further apart or find their way back to each other? ★ : a/n :: oh fuck okay here we go! let me know what you guys think so far <3 what are the theories!! ahhhhhh this is more introductory? but lots of drama nevertheless <3 please don't mention the diff twin pics, i'll start crying!

( series masterlist \ main masterlist \ drop a request )

yn.user 41 mins ago

yn.user boys are here to support their papa!

username OMG THE IT BABIES ARE BACK ON TRACK charlesleclerc I know they were rooting for me in red🏎 I loved the bracelet btw❤️‍🩹 ⤷ carlossainz dress up leo in red and leave my kids alone username I WOULD KILL TO HAVE Y/N AND CARLOS AS MY PARENTS carlossainz papa won this for his family👍 ⤷ username it's so cute that even though they are separated, carlos never leaves out y/n ⤷ username I think it's his loss, he wants them back so he's playing a persona w words like 'family' lol ⤷ username please get a life, touch some grass🙏 username THE BABIES MADE A BRACELET FOR CARLOS ⤷ landonorris I got one toooooo

carlos is typing... (y/n's pov)

instagram stories

lily is typing... (y/n's pov)

twitter

carlossainz 20 mins ago

carlossainz who said weekends with papa are a bore?

landonorris whoring on main papa sainz? ⤷ carlossainz please unfollow❤️ username DILFFFFF username carlos can I also be your baby mama???? y/n.user MUMMA MISSES HER BABIES ⤷ carlossainz we miss you too ⤷ username pretty sure she was talking about the kids carlos lmao username it's so strange that now we get the updates from separate accounts I miss the og paddock fam ⤷ username well people move on so🤷‍♀️ ⤷ username only the real ones rmb the sainz x y/n post spams lmao

yn.user just now

yn.user stole my tortured heart💫

username who plays cards alone on a beach? 👀 username y/n’s cryptic post has me guessing mhmmm a new love interest maybe?! ⤷ username cards on the beach when alone? definitely not alone. who’s the mystery company hehe carlossainz looks like a peaceful day. glad you're finding time for yourself! ⤷ yn.user hope the boys are still up! returning the call soon🥰 lilymhe finally enjoying some well-deserved relaxation💖 ⤷ yn.user love youuu username i see cards but no players. who's with you y/n username we need more context omg is this a date ⤷ username probably with lily lol username at first i thought you were with carlos but he's in the comments soooo does that mean a new romance

carlos is typing... (y/n's pov)

f1.wags 2 mins ago

f1.wags Our sources have spotted Y/N, ex-partner of F1 driver Carlos Sainz, enjoying a cozy dinner with an unidentified man. The two were seen sharing intimate moments, sparking rumors of a new romance. Could this be the start of a new chapter for Y/N? Stay tuned for more updates as we dig deeper into this developing story.

username wow, moving on already? poor carlos username she couldn't wait a little longer before flaunting her new man username guess she never really loved carlos. just saying ⤷ username carlos deserves better than someone who moves on so fast ⤷ username its been almost half a year? username poor kids. this is why you should never have kids out of wedlock ⤷ username hey good morning, i think you time traveled to 200 years forward. please go back username she’s just trying to make carlos jealous. grow up, y/n username so much for being a loving mother? priorities lol ⤷ username boys were with carlos for one weekend and this is how she spends it ⤷ username from a perfect family to this? disappointing username carlos is better off without her. clearly, she didn’t care about him ⤷ username fr y/n's true colors are showing now. carlos dodged a bullet

carlos is typing... (y/n's pov)

©maxtermind // do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platforms.

[austinbutlerslovers]

Feyd Fantasy 7: The Finale

Label mature 18+

Honor & Heir

Summary

Feyd starts a war on Arrakis to gain final control over the Spice fields. He wants to finally free its massive profits to House Harkonnen and become the wealthiest family in the galaxy for you and his heir.

During your final month of pregnancy you and Feyd are summoned to the Emperors palace on the planet Kaitain by decree. Feyd is upset at any inconveniences to you with his unborn during this fragile time.

You reunite with your Reverend Mother in the palatial gardens and a fated decision must be made. The stress of the decision is so great you go into labor. For Feyd his world stops. He drops all of his responsibilities with the Emperor to be by your side.

Starts off Princess treatment romantic Ends with Feyds reign & birth of your child

⚠️Hard Core Smut⚠️

simultaneous self pleasure•size kink•fingering •handjob•forced orgasms•sex while sleeping•sex while injured•face sitting• submission •cum eating•thigh pinning• manhandling • position switching • body worship•multiple orgasms

⚔️ Feyd Fantasy Series Master List⚔️

Part 1•Part 2•Part 3•Part 4•Part 5•Part 6•Part 7 🗡️ Feyd Fantasy Chapter 1-6 Recap ⚔️Feyd Fantasy Master List ⚔️ 📖 All Genre Masterlist

⏳Extreme Dune Inaccuracies!⌛️ Based on the film Dune Part 2 (Feyd supremacy timeline)

💀 Trigger warnings dark themes: graphic death(s)

⚔️Final Fic Requests ⚔️ -Feyd gentle with you -Feyd Adoring you -Feyd forgoes his pleasure for your own -Faceriding Feyd -More arousal fluid! -Feyd gives you the princess treatment -Bene Gesserit kidnapping plot -Feyd as a father

This series was so fun to make I want to personally thank each and every one of you!! The last chapter is a novel in itself please enjoy this epic finale 🙏🏻

Special thank you to my proofreader @faegoddessog my smut consultant @burnthheparaphilia and my affection consultant @magicovento thank you for jumping on this wild ride with me I am so appreciative of everything you did to improve the series ⚔️

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Honor & Heir

You awaken on the Harkonnen palatial space craft traveling to Arrakis. You are in the beautifully decorated master suite on the giant bed. Resting across from you is Feyd sleeping peacefully in the black silk sheets.

You are enamored with his pale skin at this point especially in contrast with any dark color to enhance it.

You stroke your hand along his handsome face, he is completely out. It is becoming harder and harder for him to awaken in the mornings. Every time you use your ability to mentally inflict him with pain to orgasm it is essentially stealing his life force. He needs time to recover.

You have become infatuated with his pleasure sending severe signals of pain to his temple during sex to make him cum on your command. The way his back arcs as you watch the intensity increase in his yearning eyes always makes you orgasm as well.

During the evening he gave you a tour of the Harkonnen palatial space craft. When he saw you were impressed he could no longer contain his urges for you. As soon as he showed you the elaborately decorated master suite and saw the bed he wanted to claim you on it.

His hands slowly stripped your gown from your body as his lips ambushed your mouth. “I need to be inside of you” he panted staring into your eyes. You readily agreed and he kneeled before you pulling your gown and panties down as you stepped out of them.

“Have you ever fucked on a spacecraft Baroness?” He asked looking up at you with a knowing grin as you shook your head no. He picked you up in his strong arms bracing his hands beneath your thighs and kissed you sensually as he carried you to the black silk bed laying you down.

You rested back on your elbows to watch him stand from you and undress. He removed his regal top first revealing his perfectly chiseled physique.

His muscular chest and abs we’re on prominent display as his strong arms flung his tunic. When his fingers unclasped his pants you watched how his erect cock with his pink tip swayed as he stepped out of them.

Once his pale muscular body was naked he climbed over yours. His long thick cock dragged and touched against your thighs as he took his time pressing passionate kisses across your neck. He held your nape making you tilt your head back to gain more access to your throat for his wanting mouth. He sucked love marks across the entire front.

Once he had finished his trail of bruises he softly whispered against your ear “What would you like Baroness, how would you like me to please you?” it sent chills all over your body that he would let you decide.

His hand trailed down your abdomen resting at your core as he kissed your neck awaiting your instructions.

You had snuck into his kink cabinet before the trip and brought the arousal fluid. You knew he would be preoccupied on Arrakis and planned to use it to pleasure yourself while he was away.

Now when he offers himself for your desire you want him to use it on you instead . “In my things I have brought the arousal fluid, I want it Feyd” you say looking into his eyes. A smile forms on his lips as he helps you to get up. “If you have kept it hidden until now, did you plan to use it without me?” He questions as he spanks you before you leave his proximity. His dominance rising that you should ever be satisfied without him.

You smile shyly as you stand back in front of him with the vial. “Yes I planned to use it on myself” you admit. He rests back on his elbows with his muscular thighs spread apart, the size of his erect cock intimidates you. He gazes up to you with a deviant look in his eyes. “Show me” he says with extreme interest wanting to know how you pleasure yourself. It makes your heart skip a beat.

You become timid as his eyes look over you with such lust. You know once the fluid touches your folds you will be overcome with the need to pleasure yourself and will no longer by shy.

You apply a liberal amount to your fingertips and set the vail aside. As you reach between your thighs he mirrors your movements reaching his hand to take a firm hold of his cock. A small sound of pleasure escaped your lips. He will make you watch him as you do the same.

He tilts his head to the side studying your movements to match his own. You rub the fluid onto your entrance swirling your fingertips through your folds and letting out a breath.

The arousal fluid begins working instantly as the blood rushes to your core making your folds begin to pulse. With your clit and entrance throbbing you slip your fingers inside of yourself and let out a pleasurable gasp. Your eyes close as you enjoy the immeasurable feeling of calming the dull ache forming inside with your fingers.

Feyd begins to stroke off his cock eyes fixated on your hand between your legs. You begin making light sounds of pleasure and he pumps his shaft faster on his cock.

Your fingers become slippery from your over arousal and you try to reach deeper and pull down harder. You want to satisfy the dull ache increasing within but you can no longer gratify it, you need Feyd.

Your eyes open and gaze down at his changed condition. His hand is working feverishly on his shaft slicked with spit. His abs are flexing as he pants heavily in pleasure looking at you with an insatiable desire for sex in his eyes.

“I need you” you plead to him as you withdraw your fingers. He is on his feet and immediately claims you. His hand goes to your waist holding you steady and he plunges his two fingers deeply inside you.

You cry out from the pleasure of his larger fingers as they push through your tight walls. You clutch his shoulder with one hand and reach your wet fingers to his wrap around his cock with the other. He breathes a heavy sigh against your ear as you glide your fist around his shaft.

As you use each other for sexual gratification you reach your peak. His fingers are no longer enough, the arousal fluid has made you insatiable “Feyd I need you more please take me.” you beg him. He withdraws his fingers and lifts you onto his chest carrying you to the bed and forcing you down on your front.

He knows the arousal fluid makes you crave sex as he does, ruthlessly.

As he spreads your thighs apart you grip the sheets. When he presses his throbbing tip to your entrance you tense your body in preparation for his large size. He spanks you then and you cry out in shock “you want this cock and yet you tense?” he spanks you again on the same cheek shocking your body and making you moan “give yourself to me” he commands. You nod laying your head to the bed and relax your body.

He holds his hand firm on your lower back and pushes his large cock head inside of you followed by his thick shaft. You moan against the sheets from the overwhelming sensation of his size. He spanks you again to feel you clench on him “You were …made for ..me ..-Baroness. You are so tight …-on my cock… it drives me insane.” He pants out as he slowly rocks you on his length getting you used to his size.

As he increases his pace his thrusts become violent. He begins pounding you against the mattress splitting you open between your legs. You make small pathetic whimpers as your eyes roll up feeling the deepest part of your core completely satisfied.

He spanks you twice and you clench on him hard as you moan. “I want those pretty sounds Baroness” he commands. You begin to moan as he tucks his hands under your hips lifting them up and pulling you back to him on your knees with your chest to the bed.

He grips his hands around your hip bones and impales you onto his large cock. Your high pitched moans fill the air.

He impales you again and again pausing on the each of each thrust. When he feels the way your walls begin fluttering against his cock he knows you will cum.

He spanks you as he begins clapping his hips into you repeatedly and your body tenses overwhelmed with pleasure. You scream out yes in unending praise for him as you orgasm.

He pulls back his hips to withdraw from you and quickly grabs your waist. He easily flips you over to face him and plunges his large cock back in. “Feyd Rautha!” you moan out as your eyes gently roll back. Your body rocks violently from his thrusts.

“Make me cum!” He yells as his strong pace falters, his orgasm is imminent . You place your finger tips to his temple and inflict him with pain at the highest intensity making his body go rigid. He cries out in pleasure as he instantly cums filling your core with warmth painting your walls with his seed.

You release your fingertips and he regains control of his body almost collapsing on top of you. He breathes heavily as he looks down at you with a psychotic look in his eyes “I want more “ he says.

You give him what he desires and his orgasms increase with intensity. He makes depraved sounds as his cock pulses with no sperm left to give. With the arousal fluid working in your core you keep his pace.

On his fifth orgasm as you release him from pain he pants above you staring into your eyes mystified. You knew he can not handle another even though he wanted to.

With all his of his energy drained you collect him in your arms making him rest down on you. As you caress his head he fell into a deep sleep on top of you without withdrawing his cock.

In the morning when he doesn’t awaken after your gentle touches, you softly kiss his forehead and allow him rest. You plan to cease using your ability on him until he is fully restored.

Beginning your day you use the decontamination chamber,cleanse your mouth and face, then get dressed to eat breakfast in the dining room of the spaceship.

You walk through the large craft finding it eerily empty and cold. Once you locate the dining room there is a servant who attends to you and brings your meal. As you eat she informs you that one hour remains until you arrive on Arrakis.

When you finish you walk back to the master suite to inform Feyd. You place your hand in the designated finger print reader for the master suite door.

It registers your identity and the doors slide open allowing you inside. You find Feyd in the master bedroom. By this time he is awake and smiles as you enter the room.

He is putting the finishing touches on his gear dressed head to toe in his Harkonnen combat armor for war. You kiss his waiting lips.

“Did you sleep well?” he ask pushing his hand into his fingerless combat glove.” You smile enamored looking at him, eyeing his blades and how dangerously handsome he looks in his armor. Your attention finally returns to his handsome face.

“Yes I slept well and you?” You pry playfully because he could not even awaken. “I dreamt of you full and round with our unborn “ he says facing you smiling and placing his fingertips on your abdomen .”I felt complete“ He says as he gently pulls you close.

His words stir your passion for him and he holds you in his arms keeping you in his space as his eyes wander your face in the intimate moment.

”When I destroy the Fremen it will make us the wealthiest family in the galaxy. What would you like to do then?” He asks bringing one hand to softly hold the nape of your neck while caressing your jaw with his thumb.

Your heart swells realizing how powerful he could become “I would want you to be emperor.” You admit gazing up into his eyes. He traces his fingertips along your jawline to your chin caressing it affectionately with his thumb “So be it“ he says smiling back at you with his hypnotic blue eyes gazing into yours.

Through the small master suite window behind you he can see the glowing orange planet of Arrakis approaching in the distance.

“Come I want to show you something” he says and takes your hand. He leads you through the ship to the large and ornately decorated lounge. He brings you to stand in front of the floor to ceiling viewing windows.

Turning you to face them he wraps his arms around you to gaze at the planet together. At first you are only looking back to his face admiring him as he holds you in his embrace. You place your hands over his as he holds your close.

When you finally look out of the window a gasp escapes your lips. You are approaching the planet so quickly the enormity of the glowing orange world obscures the entire view of the window. It is an awe inspiring sight to behold.

Small bursts of light begin surrounding the ship until it sets ablaze glowing in flames across the window. You tightly grip Feyds hands frightened. He smiles pulling your closer against him as he kisses your ear “Don’t worry we are only entering the atmosphere” he says gently.

He admires how your eyes search over the landscape of his second planet once the atmosphere is breeched. He has fallen for you entirely he will give you everything, anything for his Baroness. You are his world.

The ship descends above an enormous palace structure built into a rocky mountain scape.

A heavy thud resounds the craft as it lands on its destination and the engines fade to silence.

Servants enter the lounge with two of Feyds advisors with your Doulah from Giedi Prime. They escort you to the exit of the craft.

As you descend the gangway the sweltering heat consumes you both. You squint your eyes from the brightness of the planets sun as you walk under a structured awning lined with guards into the cool depths of the palace.

Once inside Feyds assigned Menant greets him with a bow. “Welcome to Arrakis Baron Feyd Rautha your brother awaits you in the greeting hall. Baroness I hope you will find Palace Arrakeen to your liking. There are two female servants awaiting you in your chambers should you need anything during your time of greatest fragility.” You slowly understand his words they are concerned for your pregnancy.

Even though you have your doulah there are two more servants to attend to you. Feyd smiles at you realizing you haven’t even noticed the assassins trailing you for your protection from the ship yet. You are his top priority here. “Come let’s go see Rabban” he says taking your hand.

You are escorted to the greeting hall. As you walk through the palace everything is ancient sandstone with large pillars and supports. There are hand carved etchings on every wall showing the deep rooted history of the planet. Beige is the prominent color of every furnishing and decoration.

You arrive to the greeting hall and as the large doors open Rabban is already walking down the room to greet you “Brother!” He exclaims to Feyd. Rabban is dressed very casually in a simple black silk tunic. He looks relaxed and carefree as if he is not even in the midst of a planetary war.

Arrakis was Rabbans retreat away from the Baron he has the palace set up to his liking and with his uncles passing each day he has become more goal oriented to impress the new Baron, his younger brother.

Rabban bows to Feyd and smiles at you. “The colors of Geidi prime suit you well Baroness ” he says noticing you fully dress in black now to match Feyd. You smile and simply nod.

“I have much to share with you Baron Feyd Rautha” Rabban chides his brother who tries to disguise his pride at the new title. “Come let’s all eat the meal I have had prepared for you with the delicacies of Arrakis.” Rabban says excitedly.

You follow him to the dining hall. The room is very large with vaulted ceilings, yet very beige and minimalist. There is a huge scale rug the length of the table and sun protecting the long windows which let light inside. You sit to Feyds left at the sand stone table in a hovering chair.

The meal is placed in front of you. Dried fruits, roasted meats, cheeses, and seeds. You are intrigued by dessert food.

As you eat Rabban and Feyd discuss the ongoing war efforts with his two advisors.

“When you ordered the annihilation of the Fremen I knew it would be a difficult war. We keep them at bay but they return with more forces like rats! If we find their strongholds in the north we can finally subdue them and continue south. I have much to discuss with your calculated mind brother.” Rabban conveys as he eats

Feyd nods and reaches for your hand which you hold as they continue to speak on the matter. He traces his thumb across your knuckles as he discusses war strategies. He is so resolute and cunning as he speaks it makes you desire him.

After lunch Feyd bids you farewell with a kiss on the lips and leaves you with your servants. He heads to the war room infatuated with what he has planned over lunch with Rabban. A surprise attack on the Fremen this very evening.

In the center of the war room is a table which projects the live locations of all Harkonnen war crafts near estimated Fremen strongholds. The military strategist give Feyd the records he requested of the heaviest attacks on the harvesters and uses them to point where the Harkonnen war vessels should attack.

They wait and watch as the crafts shoot live rounds into pinpointed locations. Next they order the ground troops to search the hidden cavernous structures during the cool of the night after the destruction.

They locate several more hide outs annihilating every being within. The Harkonnen ground troops then signal the war crafts to completely destroy the structures knowing far more are hidden beneath.

The collapsing rubble kills thousands more who hid deeper inside. The unsuspecting Fremen who planned to attack at day break when the Harkonnens were weaker and more susceptible to the climate are thwarted.

The Harkonnen destruction sets the desert ablaze glowing with fires that fill the night sky of billowing smoke and the cries of the few scattered survivors who plan to retaliate with their last dying breath.

It is the early hours before sunrise when Feyd finally returns to you in the palace bedroom. He will be leading a charge in the morning to dispatch the remaining survivors in the rubble of destruction from the hours of raids.

He wants to ensure first hand he has taken the north from the Fremen for good.

After he strips of his armor he uses the decontamination chamber. He tilts his head up as the water sprays over him smiling that he has done what his uncle could not. Free the north to harvest spice at will. He has even crueler intentions set for those tomorrow that oppose his reign on this planet. After the hot air dries him he walks through the darkened grand room naked.

He climbs into bed with you and rests his hand on your hip. Feeling you safe finally calms his thoughts of war and bloodlust. He pulls you to him and tries to fall asleep.

After several moments shifting with his eyes closed he is unable to. The nights on Arrakis are too hot for his body. He is used to the colder climate on Giedi Prime. He lays closer to you and begins caressing your waist to distract himself. It makes him desire you and perhaps he thinks once physically satisfied he can sleep in the heat of the desert night.

You lay with your back to him as he slips his fingers over your neck to clear your hair from your shoulder. His lips make contact with your skin as he inhales your scent. He plants soft kisses but you do not sir.

He brings his hand over the front of your core sneaking his fingers between your folds and swirling them against your clit. His cock begins pressing hard against your thighs but you still do not move sleeping soundly. He decides then to use you gently enough for his pleasure without disturbing your rest.

He sucks his fingers and pushes them into your entrance as he lays behind you. Feeling the heat inside of you hardens his cock solid. He works his fingers slowly until you become wet for him. He aims his cock to your folds and presses into you as slowly.

His heart rate increases as he feels the tightness of your walls take each inch of his cock. He finally settles you on his base and lets out a breath of pleasure. He pushes his cock into you deeply to feel the friction of your walls without awakening you. He concentrates to remain himself and stay at such a slow pace.

When you finally awaken and Feyd is already thrusting between your legs making you begin panting and moaning shocked into arousal at already being penetrated.

Your brain strives to catch up with your body as your heart beats wildly. You hear his heavy grunts behind you as his hips pound against your thighs. He works his thrusts holding your waist to him keeping you steady on his cock.

He grins at having to last a little longer now that you are awake to make you cum with him. He cups your breast pinching and pulling the nipple that makes you cry out for him as you clench on his length.

You moan his name as he thrusts into you harder and he knows you will cum. He brings his hand to your clit slipping his fingers over the wet nub to make you orgasm. “Feyd I’m going to cum” you moan out. “Cum for me” he commands. His lips press your neck sucking more love mark into your flesh.

Your back arcs as you orgasm and he flicks your clit faster with his fingers as he paints your walls with his cum. His head falls back and you hear him groaning in pleasure at the euphoric feeling of your walls milking his cock. He slows his thrusts to a stop when he is empty and you both pant as you come down.

You suddenly smile as you laugh in the darkened room “Why didn’t you awaken me?” You ask as he withdraws his cock from your body. “I couldn’t sleep and you were resting so soundly.” He admits.

You turn over to face him. The room is dimly lit with moonlight but you can see him smiling in satisfaction. His body is glistening in sweat and he is still panting. You press your hand to his forehead and his chest feeling he is hot all over.

You sit up and pull the sheets from him. You eye his body the way he is still labored breathing. “Feyd It is too hot for you here.” you discern getting up from the bed to help him cool down.

Though the planet is scarce with water the Arrakeen palace rests on an aquifer, structured above its cavernous system of fresh water.

You run a bath for Feyd in the sand stone basin. You call to him when it has filled. As he rests in the cool water you bring a cloth and soak it to pat on his neck and chest before placing it on his forehead. He grabs your wrist and pulls your hand to place a kiss there as he looks into your eyes.

He has never been cared for in this way and his eyes plead for more. You smile at him and kneel by the basin. You rub his face and neck with the cloth until his eyes close and he relaxes.

Once he is settled you cover your mouth and yawn. He sees you are tired “Go rest I will join you soon” he says and you place a kiss to his forehead.

You return to bed exhausted and fall back into a deep sleep. When Feyds body cools down he joins you in bed soon afrer and holds your waist kissing behind your ear enamored. He finally closes his eyes and falls asleep.

Only Pleasure Remains

It is the morning of Feyd’s battle reconnaissance on Arrakis.He will be going to the front lines to kill the remaining Fremen and rally the troops. His heart beats wildly as he prepares. Once fully in his armor he kneels down to caress your face. He might die today from a strategic attack, so he makes sure you see him leave “See me off Baroness” he says smiling as you open your eyes.

You reach up and cup his face and he pulls you from the sheets into a hug. His hard armor presses into the softness of your body. You hold his head around his ears making him lock eyes with you.

“You will prove your honor and then you will come back to me” you command him and he smiles giving you a chaste kiss. You know he is going to love every second of murdering today. He is in full military gear this time with a flowing regal cape.

You quickly cleanse your mouth and get dressed. You leave with him to the greeting hall where his top military advisors and brother are assembled and waiting.

You walk hand in hand trailed by your servants. You stop the procession and pull him into a kiss before he enters the greeting hall. He accepts your passionate kiss and pets down your hair. When you release his lips as your heart beats wildly youare terrified for him. “Do you feel nervous?” You ask feeling the uncertainty of warfare second hand.

He smiles staring into your eyes “I was born to be this” he confesses. It give you some reprieve that his words are true, his bloodline was bred for centuries to create a supreme being.

The servants open the greeting hall doors and you watch Feyd join his brother and his men. He looks back to you and smiles his cape unfurling as he turns with his commanding walk leaving to the underground warships cargo of the palace.

You stand at the greeting hall floor to ceiling windows and wait. After a moment his armada can be seen emerging from the base of the palace. The ships hover in place before setting the course to their destination and jettisoning off.

As the ships trail over the horizon your heart aches with uncertainty as you await Feyds return.

Flying south across the desert Feyd sees several structures in rubble with smoke billowing from them. “The death of our enemy by your hand brother “Rabban yells to Feyd over the loud engine of the craft. Looking into the horizon Feyd sees hundreds of billowing stacks of smoke.

They approach a large intact rock structure at the barrier of the north territory and the craft lands. Feyd exits the craft as his military strategist informs him they have rounded up the remaining Fremen who are most likely spies left behind.

Feyd plans to kill them all.

“Where?” He asks as they enter the structure. It is a cave with several rooms, one of them filled with messenger birds that a Harkonnen soldier crisps to death with a flame accelerator.

The military strategist escorts Feyd to the Fremen spies who are lined up on their knees in a single row. The large cave is overcrowded with Harkonnen soldiers for Feyds protection.

Feyd walks approaching the Fremen spies slowly. He eyes each of them in the line. “Are there more of you?” He asks. None of them respond, instead they hold their heads up in defiance.

“These are all that could be found alive Baron Feyd Rautha” his military strategist confirms

“Then I already know everything that I need to know” Feyd says staring at the first spy on his knees.

Feyd unsheathes his blade. The first spy sensing his certain death stands and lunges Feyd who easily slices him across his throat. The spy collapses to the ground gurgling on his blood as he expires.

The other spies begin to panic breathing rapidly looking to each other in fear knowing death is imminent.

Feyd gestures a solider to bring him the flame accelerator. His Harkonnen soldiers step from behind the spies and gather around Feyd to behold the mercilessness of their new Baron.

“Only pleasure remains” he announces clutching the trigger. It douses the spies in flaming liquid making them combust. The accelerant ignites their bodies into glowing torches illuminating the cave. All the soldiers hear the Fremens screams cut off as they burn alive disintegrating into char.

Feyd knows this is one of the most painful way to die. Once the other Fremen find these charred remains it will strike fear and respect into the inhabitants of the planet for the entirety of his reign.

This is the first of many strongholds they must clear today. Killing all who remain and securing control of the north.

Two Ways to Die

As you settle for bed you still have not heard of Feyd’s return. You feel anxious and slide open the balcony doors to view the desert for any signs of incoming crafts forgetting the rules set in place by Feyd. The night air is swelteringly hot as you scan the horizon.

There is a sudden knock at the main chamber door as you close the balcony. It is one of your assassins who knocks on your bedroom door. “I’ve been informed you’re not allowed on the balcony Barnoness ” he relays after you open it. You nod in agreement and close the bedroom door back . You are being watched at all times while Feyd is away.

You awaken a few hours later when there is activity in the main chamber. You hear Feyds voice speaking to the guards. You rush from the bedroom to the main chamber and see him. His eyes are emotionless as you run to hug him.

He is covered streaks of blood and it makes you gasp. He releases your hold on him “Wait for me in the bed chamber” he says clutching your wrists to keep your hands unsullied. He releases your wrists and you go to wait. He continues speaking with your assasind before dismissing them to the hall for the remainder of the night.

You pace looking to the bed chamber doors waiting. He finally enters and you notice the dark blood on his neck “You’re hurt!” You exclaim.

He is exhausted and keeps you at bay holding his hand out “Sit and wait for me I have already been treated by the palace healer ” he reassures you as he gestures you to sit. He walks to the decontamination chamber room and closes the door.

You wait anxiously until he emerges. Once he is clean you rush him again to check his body.

You see the bruises on his back and abs but the worst is the lengthy cut on his neck.

You trace your finger along the line, it is sealed shut. “Feyd what happened?” You ask finally looking into his eyes full of concern.

He walks you to the bed and sits pulling you onto his lap conserving his strength. He brings your hand to his temple to comfort him with your energy.

He closes his eyes and you observe his stressed face relax as you transfer calmness into his mind. He opens his eyes to gaze in yours and you see the softness return to them as he slowly begins revealing what happened.

“We were ambushed at one of the final strongholds” he admits. Your eyes widen in disbelief that he was attacked.

“The Fremen I fought to the death kneed me throughout as we struggled to gain the blade. I angled to allow him a slice to my neck and regained the handle once he extended his wrist. A small sacrifice to secure victory“ he admits with a weak smile. Your heart spirals knowing that he was in life threatening danger.

“In that moment just as in the arena when I felt death was near I laughed because I already have everything set in place to keep you safe forever should I die. I have always known I will not live long in this lif- - .”

You hug him to your chest to stop his morbid words. You don’t want to hear him say another utterance of his death it makes you emotionally fall apart.

You remove your robe from your shoulders and settle on to his lap. Both of you naked as you clutch his jaw and kiss every thought out of his head.

He relaxes into your kisses and lays back flat on the bed holding you to him never breaking the connection of your lips. He trails his hands up your spine settling them to the nape of your neck.

An idea returns to his mind of the only two ways he wants to die; one is in ultimate submission to you.

He pulls your face from his and gazes into your eyes. “I want to submit myself to you” he says sliding his hands to your hips lifting them up. He pulls you forward until your pussy hovers over his face. “I want to give myself only for your pleasure” he confesses

He trails his hands up to your waist and eagerly pulls you down onto his wanting mouth.

Once you settle on his face between your legs you tilt your head back and moan his name. He has never submitted to you in this way before and it completely ignites your sexual passion for him.

You fall forward and grip the sheets as he begins eating you mercilessly lapping your folds sucking them and jutting his chin up with every flick of his tongue. You are shaking and screaming in pleasure as your core tightens overwhelmed with his skill.

He groans against your folds and replaces his hands to cup your hips guiding you up and down on his mouth making you ride his face as he pushes his tongue into your entrance.

You grind against his mouth until your thighs tremble as you moan and orgasm. Your core releases the clear liquid arousal of your cum directly into his wanting mouth. His eyelids flutter in obsession lapping up your arousal in pure bliss. He licks you clean and pushes his tongue into your entrance prodding for more.

The only two ways he would choose his death; Being fatally stabbed by an expert fighter or being suffocated between your thighs devouring your sweet cunt until he expires.

Once you orgasm and have no cum left to give he grips the back of your thighs and quickly rolls on top of you. He climbs your body and settles between your legs. He lines his cock and plunges into your soft wet entrance. You are completely primed for him and he sinks deeply inside of you as he groans in pleasure.

You moan at the stretch of his large his size before you cry out at the way he fucks you.

He pounds into you grunting and spreading your thighs apart with his hands. He holds them back to increase his pleasure. He is so high from submitting to you and having you ride his face until you came that he is relentless.

His cock is painfully hard as he thrusts into your tight walls. He clenches his thighs to push himself even deeper. You two pant and moan in unison as he quickens his thrusts going harder wanting to cum.

He looks at your face full of passion beneath him and you see the intensity in his eyes of how much he loves you. It is immeasurable.

You reach up grab his neck pulling him down into a kiss. You lock your lips with him as he rocks into you with his thrusts. His hips falter and he deeply moans into your mouth as he begins releasing his warm cum in to you. He breaks the kiss but you bite his lower lip making him stay and he cums even harder.

You wrap your legs around his waist to prevent him from slamming you into the bed and it intensifies his pleasure even more, keeping him fully inside of you as he empties his pulsing cock. He finally slows his thrusts to a stop.

He shudders as he stares down at you catching his breath. It was one of his most fulfilling sexual experiences he’s had with you and you both smile at each other in recognition.

He lifts his hips and slips out of you rolling on to his back trying to slow his breaths.

You are both covered in sweat your sex making the room increase in temperature.

You know he is hot and leave the bed to fill the sand stone basin. Once it is full you stop the valve. He hears it and comes to get in the cool water. As he steps he holds your hand to join him, helping you over the ledge.

He settles down in the water and has you lay your back against his chest. As he holds you firm to him, you both of you rest your eyes enjoying the intimate moment.

He trails his hand along your shoulder before finally breaking the silent moment. “Ask your Doulah how soon after the first can I fill you with a second.” You laugh at his eager request and how much he wants to have more children with you.

Flipping over in the water you rest on his chest with your arms around his neck. You gaze into his impatient eyes as you answer resolutely “Feyd Rautha first you must have this one” he grins and flips you over to rest your back on his chest again. His hands slide down around your womb beneath the water cradling you with his first unborn. He can not wait to have his children with you.

The Final Days

Feyds powers increase exponentially. He begins bombing raids on large structures in the south of Arrakis killing hundreds of thousands. The inhabitants of the planet submit to him completely to save what remaining ancient holy structures they have left.

They believe no matter who controls the planet that one day their Muad’Dib will rise and avenge the catastrophes Feyd Rautha has caused their people.

Without interference from the Fremen the Harkonnen army begins to run the harvesters untouched increasing Spice production exponentially.

When Feyd frees the hold on Spice his wealth soon surpasses that of the emperors. He uses his excess riches and status to coerce and bribe other members of the great houses. The calculating Feyd Rautha becomes untouchable.

Feyds upgraded quarters are substantially luxurious on Giedi Prime. The bed frame is carved from the black Harkonnen stone of purity.

There is a seating room, a sauna, a spa, and a room to entertain guests with a balcony that stretches the entire length of the suite.

Due to his constant concerns of your safety he requested you remain there for the final weeks of your pregnancy ensuring everything you needed was provided for.

When Feyd returns after his Baron duties he always seeks you out embracing you like he hasn’t seen you in days. He is running several interplanetary campaigns as well improving the world for his people. He cherishes the calm quiet moments you can spend together.

He wants the same thing each time after he bathes. He hugs you from behind running his hands over your full breasts and your womb whispering gently in your ear about how beautiful you look carrying his unborn until he makes you smile.

Then he would help you lay on the bed and place his ear against your womb. At first he would thump it with his fingers it summon the unborn until you told him just to use his voice instead and placed his hand were you knew he would feel the kicks.

He was infatuated feeling his unborn respond to him. He would pull your hand to his head forcing you to send him calming energy and would often fall asleep exhausted in your lap with his hand resting on your womb this way. Other nights he wanted more.

The first instance when you felt the dull ache that wouldn’t dissipate during sex you grabbed his arm begging him to stop as you tried to recover from the pain. The penetration of his large cock became too painful. He immediately withdrew himself and held you in his arms caressing you until you felt the pain subside.

You still craved him but in a much softer way and he understood. You were sacred to him and he couldn’t get enough of you but he would forgo his pleasure for your own.

Having you sit up he would stack pillows behind your back and worship your body trailing kisses down your neck to your chest sucking each of your nipples into his mouth.

He would continue down your belly massaging the sides before gently settling between your legs. He would pleasure you slowly and carefully sliding his fingers in and out of you coaxing the swollen firmness within that made you fall apart for him within seconds.

His favorite part was your new taste his breathing would become heavier waiting for the exact moment you clenched on his fingers as you came. He would lap up your arousal which was so sweet to him like nectar.

His cock would painfully harden as he made you cum and he tasted it.

When he pleasured himself for you he would always let you watch. Often he would squeeze one of your full breast in his hand as he came or have you press your fingers to his temple and illicit him with pain to release his cum.

After he orgasmed he would clean his hands and take the pillows from behind your back turning you on your side. As he lay behind you he would kiss the back of your head and place his hand on your womb as you slept.

He knew anyday the unborn would be arriving. When it was dark in the stillness of night he would be awakened by the unborns firm kicks against his hand. They were so powerful now.

A Royal Decree

When Feyd is summoned by royal decree to Kaitan to meet with the Emperor he is enraged at the timing during your most fragile state of pregnancy. As you load onto the warship he fears for your safety and health on Kaitan but he can not leave you on Geidi Prime he knows you will birth his heir any day and he will not miss it. He brings his best militants and assassins with your Doulah.

The Emperor assures him they have the most skilled midwife in the galaxy should complications arise. He knows that the child is protected by the Bene Gessirit as one of the most highly sought after bloodlines to create a supreme being in history. He welcomes Feyd with open arms.

As you arrive to Kaitan you are mystified. You look at the expanse of the lush green planet in all directions as you fly to the palace. The craft descends at its destination and you see the infamous palatial waterfalls similar to the ones were you used to study.

You become excited and squeeze Feyds hand as he rests next to you in the space craft lounge. You haven’t seen your home world in almost a year but it feels like a lifetime.

You and Feyd exit the craft together escorted by two advisors, three assassins, and a flank of his most skilled Harkonnen warriors stationed behind him.

The palace greeter is shocked by Feyds entourage it is like an Emperor’s“ Greetings Baron and Baroness Harkonnen I am Pitri” The greeter says as he warily eyes your full pregnancy “The Emperor apologizes for requesting your presence at such an inconvenient time but some rather alarming accusations have come to light that must be addressed in person. I’m sure you will come to understand. I will show you to your quarters.” He announces.

You walk through the grandiose palace to reach the guest suites and are shown to your accommodations. Two of your Bene Gessit sisters wait at the door to welcome your arrival they approach you in jubilation. They are pushed back by the assassins ready to unsheathe their swords.

Feyd snaps his fingers and smiles as they release the startled females. Exactly the protection he wants for his Baroness. “May we approach Baroness Harkonnen” they bow and ask correctly the second time. You nod and smile as they come to hug you. They marvel over your garments and your rings.

Feyd leaves one guard with you and waits as the assassins clear the room of any threats.

Once they clear the room you are permitted to enter. Your sisters pull your hands gently guiding you inside. Your eyes widen at the extravagance of the room is like its own small palace. Pillars in the entry way make you look up to a hand painted mural of the palatial gardens

The room itself is open to a palace lake. Round awnings are decorated with curtains that billow in the wind. The room is completely open to an outside garden.The theme is turquoise and gold decorations throughout the colors are bright and fanciful every room is filled with fresh fruit and decorative bouquets of flowers.

You are quite exhausted from the trip but your sisters beckon you to sit with them in the enormous living room and you oblige.

As you rest on a sofa together they can’t help but caress your belly. “When does the unborn kick?” Your sister Freya asks feeling the round firmness pressing her ear to your womb “Very often at night” you say wearily.

“How has Baron Feyd Rautha been during your pregancy. The rumors of Giedi Prime men and their treatment of females is atrocious.” Delphine says making a wary face toward Feyd while he is speaking with his advisor.

You smile looking down at your belly trailing your hand around it “He has surprisingly been obsessed with me and his unborn” you admit as you blush. They smile with you. ”He has even broached the topic lightly in meetings with his advisors about the evolving roles of females on Giedi Prime. I fear if he isn’t careful some will assume a female might be in control of him” you tease making the three of you giggle together in secret.

Feyd’s advisor informs him the Revered Mother has requested your company in isolation. He immediately dismisses it. “I do not know this female. The risk is too great here she can come to Giedi Prime where I can guarantee the safety of the Baroness” he says in a set tone. His advisor bows and arranges to send the correspondence.

The Emperor has requested a private meeting with Feyd over dinner that evening which intrigues him more. As you speak to your sisters he prepares for the occasion.

When you notice he has retreated to get changed you bid your sisters farewell.

Once they leave you head to the master suite joining Feyd and close the door. You rest back on the ornate canopy bed with your arms splayed at your sides The garden breeze blows through the room bringing the sweet scent of florals. You feel heavy and physically exhausted you can no longer get up and use your remaining energy to turn on your side instead.

Feyd emerges from the wardrobe room dressed regally in a black high collar shirt with a cape. Pinned to the front is his Baron Medallion.

He walks over to you and smiles, seeing you are unable to remain awake he caresses your face. “I will call your servants to attend to you I want you to rest until I get back” he says gently as your heavy eyelids shut. This is normal behavior for you now. He knows his powerful unborn is harvesting all of your energy he caresses your womb before he leaves to have dinner with the Emperor.

The Emperor

Feyd walks the enormous palace to the throne room with two of his Harkonnen guards. They are stopped at the doors by the Emperial solidiers, only Feyd is permitted to enter.

He looks around the large dome space of the throne room in its impressive grandeur. There is no one in sight. He eyes the throne of the Emperor and takes a few paces toward its golden steps before a familiar voice stops him.

“Baron Feyd Rautha my how you’ve grown.” Princess Irulan says as she approaches him.

She swishes her elaborate silver gown as she walks over to study the mystifying man before her with appealing interest.

She pleasantly smiles as they greet. “The last I’d seen you was ages ago. I remember it distinctly…you were so excited to show me one of your new blades…of course my servants ushered me away. ‘He’s a dangerous child they warned me, but I found you to be very sweet.” She says fondly smiling from the memory looking at how handsome he’s become.

“I have no memory of this “ Feyd admits

“You were but a boy about this tall” she measures to his chest at his Barons medallion then looks into his striking blue eyes. “But you’ve grown much bigger since then.” She admits with an alluring smile, she slowly encircles Feyd looking over his regal clothing and his strong physique before standing in front of him again with a mysterious smile.

“I was dismayed I couldn’t attend your gladiatorial event I would’ve loved to see you wield the blades you are so fond of.” she sighs “From what I hear you performed valiantly and then had quite the time at your birthday celebration….before……your uncle unexpectedly expired the next morning...” she shares.

Princess Irulan approaches him closer to check his eyes trying to discern if he actually killed his own uncle.

“It must have been bitter sweet” she says gazing deeper into his eyes as she presses her hands to smooth the front of his cape. Feyd takes a small step back due to her comfort in his proximity.

“Your father had me summoned here why are you the one who greets me?.” He asks tilting his head in curiosity.

She studies his stoic demeanor wondering how she can crack him to bend to her will. She finally pinpoints a weakness and ignores his question to interrogate him.

“Knowing your infamous lust for power it seems all too convenient doesn’t it? Your uncle falling ill as soon as my father deems you the worthy Baron of Geidi Prime?” She says tracing her fingertip around his Baron Medallion.

Feyd can no longer stand her incessant talking and veiled threats “Where is the Emperor?” He snaps. His dominance excites her and she stares at him with an unwavering intensity having never been talked down to.

She tries to gain his favor with sympathy .“My father is frail. He wasn’t feeling well this morning. He and I were supposed to meet you in the throne room together but look he is still at the out door dinner table set up for us, just there” she points and Feyd sees the frail old man being helped to sit back down at the head of the table in the palatial gardens.

“My father is a very proud man he will walk to you eventually but let’s make it easier and walk to him together through the garden shall we?.“ she requests looking at Feyd with kind eyes.

He cares nothing for the old man but walks to make the meeting faster.

Princess Irulan slips her hand around Feyds arm as they walk, he immediately releases her hold stepping aside as they continue on their path. “It is impolite for a guest to refuse an escort to the Princess in the palace” she corrects him.

“I do not entertain the wishes of a princess” he responds clasping his hands behind his back as they walk together. She smiles enjoying the way he challenges her.

“Typical Harkonnen male unassuming of the power a female can weild“ she says pulling his arm and replacing her hand around it.

“My title holds more power over yours in every way possible Baron Feyd Rautha you will do as I say” she commands. It burns Feyd on the inside to be talked to in such a way but he does not show it.

He clearly sees through her veiled attempts to control him for her benefit. Her dress her mannerisms the way she continues to stare longingly at him holding his arm. All signs the Emperor is desperate to arrange a marriage between them.

Feyd knows the mysterious leak of Vladimir Harkonnens documentation of the ordered Atreides genocide must have reached Kaitan by now.

With the correspondences traced directly from the palace ordering the attack on Caladan, the Emperor must be aware his reign is coming to an end.

As they both approach Emperor Shaddam smiles. He is a frail old man with white hair and a stoic face. He wear an extravagant shimmering white tunic with gold adornments.

“Feyd Rautha! Ah my mistake Baron Feyd Rautha I haven’t seen you since you were a boy” he exclaims “I’ve already told him father “ Princess Irulan says flatly. ”You look very handsome with my Princess Irulan on your arm why did you ever go back on that proposal negotiation! I would adore to call you my son in law.” The Emperor reveals.

“You both know why” Feyd Rautha admits shooting them glances and removing Princess Irulans hand the final time before he continues.

“What I want to know is why you can’t even bring yourself to acknowledge her, my Baroness.” he says eyes glaring between them. It enrages him that they think of him without you.

The Emperor puts his hands up to calm the situation “Baron we are aware of her yes and her condition we are just confused. Your uncle informed us you needed her to procure an heir but due to high incompatibility you would be sending her back here to Kaitan.” The Emperor reveals. Feyd tries to hide the impact of the shocking blow of the Emperors revalation by shifting his jaw.

Princes Irulans passions increase for Feyd seeing he is truly in love, this is his weakness. She watches him fidget with his signet ring clearly distressed and thinking about his Baroness. She is used to cold political marriages and power dynamics. Seeing a Harkonnen male with his heart strung for a female stirs something inside of her.

She thought him to be masculine and domineering which excites her. But the handsome man who stands before her is also intelligent and loyal with extreme wealth and honor. She must have him.

“The Baroness is my wife and her child is my heir” Feyd proclaims.

The Emperor puts his hands up in acknowledgment “I see that there has definitely been a misunderstanding. Irulan my lovely daughter, you will not be joining us for dinner” The emperor informs her. Princess Irulan lifts her chin in frustration, she is used to getting her way.

She approaches her father and kisses his cheek bidding him farewell. She smiles to Feyd “My father is a kind man unlike your uncle, what a shame, House Harkonnen could have held such a powerful union.”she says alluringly.

Feyd lifts his chin with a sinister gaze “ If you so desire to be betrothed into House Harkonnen so be it. Emperor Shaddam set forth the arrangements to marry Princess Irulan with my brother Rabban” her eyes widen in shock. Rabban is a brutal impulsive butcher she does not desire him at all.

Feyd enjoys the fear in her eyes and holds back his smile as the Emperor actually mulls it over.

Before he can utter a word Princess Irulan cuts in. “Father we must speak with the Reverend Mother on such arrangments” she says quickly.

Her father nods in agreement. “You are correct as always on these matters my precious daughter” he says taking her hand and patting it. She looks to her father and then longingly at Feyd bidding them farewell for the evening.

The emperor rests back down in his chair at the head of the table clearly tired from the exertion of merely standing. He gestures Feyd to take the seat at his right as a servant pulls the chair for him.

A meal of fresh herb filet is plated infront of them. Feyd cuts into the fish and brings a piece to his mouth. He enjoys the texture and the soft flavor he has never had fish before.

The Emperor gets straight to the topic at hand seeing Feyd is swift and precise at cutting through conversations.

“It has come to light that the atrocities committed on Caladan that wiped out the Atreides were premeditated .” He sighs.

“You mean the affairs of my uncle?” Feyd questions with his hands clasped already distancing himself from collusion.

“Yes unfortunately so, as you are aware it was ordered by my hand and now I will be tried in front of a tribunal of the great houses…..” the Emperor puts down his fork and looks into Feyds eyes.

“Baron Feyd Rautha my reign has come to an end, my sins have caught up with me. What I have done I chose to do. Every sacrifice I made led me to the path which I was foretold would benefit mankind. Do you understand the weight of such a decision?” the Emperor implores.

“Do I understand the weight of ordering a genocide to suppress the power of a competent rival ?“ Feyd asks throwing the Emperor’s sins directly back in his face.

“Yes …yes that is why you have been summoned you will be as I am, you will have what I have in leadership. The decisions I made were all guided by the Bene Gessirit. Have you met the Reverend mother yet?” The emperor asks with piqued curiosity

“I have not“ Feyd admits. The Emperor thinks on his answer. “If you have come this far without meeting her, then she already controls you” the Emperor says with a warning glare that falters Feyds confidence. The old man says it with such a depth of sincerity it cannot be false.

“What exactly does the Reverend Mother want” Feyd asks with a newfound curiosity.

“What they all want power and control. One will replace the other but they all twist fate to their benefit to create the ultimate being. A human able to see past present and future. Even the highest Bene Gesserit, the Reverend Mother can only see the past.

Baron have you known you carry the superior bloodline? Your Baroness is in fact a Bene Gesserit as are the multitude of women who infiltrated your family for centuries to breed…do you understand that this is why they want your child?

Feyd sits back in shock he cares not of what the Bene Gesserit want. “What will happen to my child?” Feyd asks leaning back in fully invested with his only concern.

The Emperor thinks it over before coming to his conclusion. He leans in closer to Feyd as he speaks. “Baron what I tell you can not be interfered with. They have ways to make men do unspeakable things if you turn against them. Before I knew you had an attachment I would have willingly told you, now that I know you love the mother and child… Baron I must be honest, with your traumatic family history I fear for your mental sanity when I share the news.”

Feyd takes a deep breath and asks resolutely

“What will happen to my child”

The Emperor looks to the sky and then stressfully relents

“If your infant is female she will be taken from her mother at birth indoctrinated in the ways of the Bene Gesserit. She will be completely ignorant of her parentage and will be raised in complete secrecy. Ultimately she will become ..a bedding concubine … a pleasure slave for the male who will impregnate her with a son to secure the bloodline. The Bene Gesserit breed only to have females. This would make your grandson the rarest male Bene Gesserit of all, the Kswis Haderach that has been awaited for centuries”

Feyds breathing increases wondering if you know they will take the newborn at birth and if his uncle designed every detail of this plan with the Bene Gessirit. He remembers his uncle never thought he would be invested in marriage and wanted you sent away during your pregnancy. His heart pounds rapidly at the complications now.

“You say the Bene Gessirit favor the birth of females what if my unborn is male?”he asks. The Emperor thinks back before he responds.

“There was such an instance directly linked to you Baron Feyd Rautha. Your compatible mate was to be born in the House Atreides.You would have fathered the Kswish Haderisck you were meant to have a son.”

Feyd is shocked by the admission and listens to the Emperor further.

“Lady Jessica defied the order and birthed a boy named Paul with Duke Leto Atreides making your union incompatible. This is the center of it all the Bene Gesserit will have to wait another generation for your daughter to birth the Kswis Haderach which should have been your son.”

“Now what will happen if my unborn a male?” Feyd requestions.

“He will be an abomination to the Bene Gesserit just as Paul Atreides they will want nothing to do with him” the Emperor reveals.

Feyd sits back in silence realizing his cursed Harkonnen lineage continues. If he has a daughter she will be ignorant of her parentage just as he never knew his father and mother.

The painful memory of Feyds childhood floods his mind entirely. He clutches his head in mental anguish no longer able to contain the agony and stress he’s carried deep inside for so long. He rocks back and forth and squeezes his eyes shut in dispar, his bloodline has already cursed his unborn.

That fateful day on Lankerville when Rabban killed their father Feyd Rautha was there.

Matricide

The ship carrying the Baron with Rabban and Feyd landed on the planet Lankerville.

The Baron remained in the craft with the young Feyd while Rabban went to speak with their father.

Feyd was seven years old, a very quiet and clever boy. Vladimir had Feyd rested upon his lap holding him closely petting him affectionately.

The Baron knew the day would come when he would need to punish his brother Abulurd for renouncing the Harkonnen name and tying to hide away with his sons.

What better way to deliver justice on such a dishonor than to have his brothers sons raised as Harkonnens to return and deliver it.

Years prior he easily tracked down his fleeing brother Abulurd with his Bene Gesserit wife. The Baron generously offered his brother the planet Lankerville to show no ill will.

But soon as Arbulurd arrived on Lankerville with his wife and sons the Baron ordered his Harkonnen guards to clutch baby Feyd out of his mother’s arms and collect the teenaged Rabban.

He took his brothers sons for his crime of renouncing the Harkonnen name.

Their mother screamed at the Baron for interfering with the plans of the Bene Gesserit and how he would pay for his actions. The Baron hated the woman she was the reason his brother fled in the first place, she had poisoned Abulurds mind. He wished to dispatch of her in that instant. But he knew letting her live with the fact her sons, birthed for the Bene Gessirts, weretaken would be a fate worse than death.

The Baron adored Feyd from the instant the guard placed him in his waiting arms.The babies eyes were crystal blue and he smelled of fresh powder. The Baron bonded to him instantly. He snuggled baby Feyd and offered his pinky for the small outstretched hand to hold. A son not of his loins but a Harkonnen he would raise as his own.

He called out to the fourteen year old Rabban who was still struggling against the guards with all of his might.

With his father and mother surrounded by Harkonnen soldiers as he spoke to the young Rabban and held baby Feyd “Your father is a traitor to the Harkonnen name and for his dishonor you will be raised with me to learn your heritage. This is the only reason I spare your parents lives today.” the Baron admits.

Rabban stopped his struggling then to look at his parents. Both of them never favored him and his head hung low as they did not even go against what was happening.

The Baron smiled seeing Rabbans dismay “I will make you a brave warrior Glassu Rabban you will command the respect of hundreds of thousands in my army and perhaps even rule Geidi prime” the Baron offered.

Baby Feyd made a small sound then and the Baron cood at him snuggling him closer. “What is it my little prince” he said petting the softness of Feyd’s crown.

Rabbans voice spoke up “I will go with you and I will do as you ask” he was teary eyed as his parents remained silent. The guards released him and he willingly followed the Baron from his home looking back at his parents who stood with their heads low.

As they entered the space craft he finally heard their cries of agony. “Have you killed them!” Rabban asked stunned “No no for what they have done being alive is a fate far worse than death” The Baron informed Rabban while adoring the sleeping Infant Feyd in his arms.

Seven years later Abulurd began defying the Baron at every instance as the governor of Lankerville.

The correspondence he was using the planets tax money to help the poor was the final act of disobedience that brought swift action. The Baron announced he would be arriving personally on Lankerville to punish his brother.

Abulurd had been waiting for this instance. He was not helping the poor with the tax money but instead had purchased a small army to kill his brother for taking his sons in an attempt to rescue them back.

When the Baron landed on the planet their crafts were heavily ambushed. The Baron had brought double his armada already sensing it was a trap his craft was quickly protected.

Rabbans anger was at its peak looking at the Baron who sat in his chair waiting for the lasgun fire to cease. “How dare he defy you! “ Rabban yelled hearing the beams blast the hull of the craft. Rabban growled as he paced waiting for the doors to unload to take his father’s life as the Baron requested.

Feyd sat calmly on the Barons lap watching his brother and six guards charge out of the craft once the gunfire had ceased.

A solider reported to the raging Rabban that the two traitors they were asked to detain were bound inside. The rest of the rebels had been slain. Rabban charged into the governors mansion.

“You are a traitor to the Harkonnen name “

Rabban had yelled as he punched his kneeling and bound father knocking him to the ground in the throne room.

His mother wailed seeing Rabban had become what she always feared, an impulsive raging monster “where is Feyd Rautha let me see my son”she begged.

Rabban ignored her and as his father tried to explain why he defied the Baron Rabban cut him short and strangled his father to death.

When his mother saw her husband killed at the hands of their own son who was trying to save him she couldn’t bear reality anymore and went insane. She bolted trying to escape the throne room but was quickly caught and brought back by on of the Harkonnen warriors that surrounded her.

“Do you want to see your favorite son?” Rabban asked taunting her knowing what the Baron had in store for his most hated Bene Gesserit. ”Gag her.” he ordered before she could speak and the guards bound her mouth shut having her kneel again.

As the screams of his mother grew louder from the mansion Feyd climbed from his uncle lap to see the commotion. “This is what happens to traitors of the Harkonnen name who dishonor their ancestors the very blood that runs through your veins Feyd Rautha.” He told the boy as he took his hand to bring him into the mansion throne room.

Feyd did not recognize his own mother bound with her mouth gagged and kneeling on the ground. She gasped when she saw him and struggled to speak with her mouth obstructed.

The Baron handed the boy his favorite new blade. Feyd approached the woman yanking her head back by the hair. She was calm and did not scream or fight like the others, she willingly gave herself to him staring into his eyes as he slit the blade across her throat.

“Feyd that was our mother” Rabbans voice announced as he stood over the body of their father watching the lives they knew be severed forever.

The Baron quickly tried to pull Feyd away but the boy broke from the Barons grasp and began screaming as he dropped to his knees clutching his mothers dying body.

For the first time Feyd cried. It was so loud and tormenting his brother kneeled by his side and squeezed his frail shoulders not knowing how to calm him.

Rabban began rambling all of the rhetoric engrained in his mind by the Baron “Our mother and father betrayed everything Harkonnen do you realize the sacrilege our father committed. He dishonored our very blood line he tried to steal us from our birthright. Even today he planned an ambush to kill Uncle Vladimir!” Rabban yelled.

Feyd had gone catatonic with his arms clutched around his mother’s neck. Rabban shook him hard yet he did not stir from her body “She never cared for us Feyd let her go. She was Bene Gesserit.... Look at how she tricked our father.” he gestured to the body of the dead man behind him.

But Feyd having been traumatized for the entirety of his young life was mentally gone. After all of his training this is the death that shattered his frail mind.

“Come with me and uncle we have served justice for our ancestors today. We will pray for their forgiveness in the old manner, we can leave this place the traitors are gone brother” Rabban pleaded.

Feyds were black as if his spirit had left from his body. He stared straight ahead motionless as his chin rested on his mother’s head. Rabban rested his hand on his brothers neck to check his pulse, he was alive. Rabban then looked to the Baron

”He has gone into shock.” Rabban said once he realized why his brother could no longer react.

The Baron sneered at Rabban

“I trained him so well for this moment and you had to tell him it was his mother?”

Rabban was confused. “I thought he should know as I know for our Harkonnen honor.” he confessed.

“He would have known in time until then she would have been just another female. Your Impulsive ignorance has always greatly disappointed me Rabban. You have caused a fracture in his core persona that can only be filled with more depravity, or he will be the most sympathetic Harkonnen the planet has ever seen. Carry him to the ship” the Baron commanded and Rabban scooped up Feyds limp body taking him to the craft heading back to Giedi Prime.

Now in the presence of the Emperor Feyd has a full mental break down. His head is clutched in his hands as he breaths wildly feeling unable to replace the air in his lungs. He suffers in pain as his mind flashes through the horrific memory that he wants to make stop. He cries out in agony rocking back and forth in his chair unable to regain his mind as the memory has a visceral response.

The Emperor sees the young man is so tormented from his words that he tries to comfort him “Baron Feyd Rautha I warned you with your family history that I feared for your mental sanity. You were only a boy then how could you have known” the Emperor says with sympathy placing his hand on Feyds shoulder.

Feyd smacks the Emperors hand from his shoulder standing up abruptly from his chair and staring at the old man wildly. Feyd stares at his hands in complete disbelief of who he really is and fears he is going insane he flees the Emperor to find his guards.

He finds them at the entrance of the throne room out of breath as he tries to hold himself together. He is covered in a cold sweat shivering and nauseous as he command them weakly “Take me to my Baroness.”

You hear the short wails of Feyd in the hall before the palace suite doors slam open. The guards bring Feyd holding his arms and guide to sit on the couch. He is in severe mental distress holding back tears unable to speak going catatonic.

You rush to him and immediately press your finger tips to his temple as the guards watch. He clings to you then and you stare into his wild eyes as it takes him several moments to calm down. “What is wrong with him? Was he drugged?” You frighteningly ask his captain of the guard. “No Baroness the Baron was not himself after h met with the Emperor he ordered us to bring him directly to you.” They relay.

Your heart sinks as you tend to him. He endured severe mental anguish for quite some his eyes are now trembling as he looks at you. He can never bring himself to say what he has done. Tears begin falling down his cheeks as he loosens his grasp on your arms your calming energy finally taking effect as he relents into unconsciousness.

In the morning you tend to Feyd on the bed where the guards helped place him. He had severe nightmares throughout the night screaming for his mother. You held him comfortingly and transferred calming energy as you whispered to him that he was safe in your arms.

Now as the day beings and sunlight creeps through the suite you are exhausted.

You ask your servant to arrange a meeting or written correspondence with the Emperor. He is the only one who knows what happened to Feyd during the evening.

When the Emperor denies your request you begin to suspect that Feyd is the son that committed matricide and the Emperor will not betray his confidence.

As you look over Feyds sleeping form you hold his hands. A wave of fear and sadness fills your heart. You you wonder how he did it and why.

Your servant knocks again and hands you a second letter that arrived just after the Emperors. It is from your Reverend Mother requesting an urgent meeting within the hour at the atrium of the main palace garden.

You have your servants help you to get dressed for your meeting with her. You transfer more calming energy to Feyds mind as he rests in bed and whisper in his ear that you will come back. You plant a soft kiss to his forehead as you leave him.

Reverend Mother

The palatial gardens are beautiful as the morning light streaks through the trees. Butterflies guide your path as you walk to the location the reverend mother requested. You are trailed by your Doulah and three assassins. Due to her order that you meet in complete privacy you have them wait just out of earshot.

You walk to the garden atrium where you see the Reverend Mother seated in a stone chair with the one across from her open. She gestures you to sit.

She is covered head to toe in black her face hidden behind a beaded veil. She wears the traditional Bene Gesserit headpiece adding to her stature.

These are the same the gardens you used to frolic in as you trained for the order when your loyalties were at the strongest for the Bene Gesserits.

The Reverend Mother looks at you now covered head to toe in black elaborate shimmering fabrics. Your face covered in a sheer veil unable to hide your stunning beauty beneath. The skin on your hands are a paler shade from the toxic conditions on Geidi prime and gold rings cover every finger.

“You are not the innocent I thought would be defiled. You have transformed the defiled into his highest potential.” She finally speaks as you sit across from her.

“Your husband has become quite powerful, as you are aware. His genetics were bred for centuries to create such an excellent specimen, as is his child in your womb.” She gestures at your full pregnancy knowing the time is near.

“Feyd Rautha has changed the course of his destiny, there are very few who can have alternate timelines such as this. With your child we will soon know with precision the outcome of every single shift in time .”

She pauses her words knowing her next piece of information is vital.

“Feyd will be Emperor.”

She proclaims

You let out a sigh of relief. His life ambition will be fulfilled.

“Do your loyalties lie with the Bene Gesserit?“ she asks you with intent shocking you as you try to answer correctly.

“Yes Revered Mother.” You answer quickly

“Then I tell you this in the upmost confidentiality. The Emperor will be dethroned in seven days at the tribunal of the great houses for his war crimes. He will be exiled to Salusa Secundus.

With Feyd Rautha to be Emperor you are now his right hand you will be our direct link to him. Will you follow every command of the order?” She asks directly.

“Yes Revered Mother” you rush to say in agreement.

Your answer sounds uncertain to her ears so she begins to test your loyalty further.

“When you are asked to evoke the Pranu Bindu and paralyze him will you say the word?” She says studying your body for any hint of description.

You squint your eyes to prevent them from showing your fear. “Yes Reverend Mother” you lie.

She has a skill to read description and knows you have lost your loyalty. She realizes Feyd Rautha must have fractured your mind with coercions of his own.

She tests a theory

”When you are pregnant with the second child of Feyd Rautha will you sacrifice it to ensure the success of your first.

The question makes you grip the chair

“Yes revered mother” you quickly lie. Feeling a lump form in your throat.

She looks closer through your veil.

“Your eyes well with tears.” She says poignantly.

You have an emotional outburst due to the stress of the situation “I will serve and continue to serve the order to the best of my ability Reverend Mother” you recite the call to the order but it is too late

She uses the voice on you for the final test if your loyalty.

{{Will you kill Feyd Rautha when ordered}}

You feel your head tighten as you answer with pure truth “No revered mother” She releases you from the voice dissapointed.

You take a deep breath and she sees the sadness in your eyes realizing you have fallen in love with him. Her eyes convey her strong disapproval.

The Revered Mother has gathered enough information from your sisters and throughout your pregnancy to know Feyd Rautha will flee and hide you away with his heir just as his mother and father tried to do for him and just as your mother and father tried to do for you.

You will be repeating the cycle of insanity that brought the downfall of both of your family’s and she can not allow that.

Your parents had renounced the royal status of their great house and collected their assets and gold from the treasury fleeing to another planet one month before you were born.

When the Order found you hidden away you were well past the age to be taken, you knew your parents and had formed your own identity.

As they trained you your rebellion was rampant wanting only to be with your mother and father. Your mental and physical abilities were far underdeveloped from the others until adolescence when your gift to control your bodies sexual abilities advanced to a level beyond your training. You could control every cell of your body to induce ovulation, you were unmatched.

In your youth however you were a problem child until the fateful day you were given the news your parents had been poisoned and you would never see them again. From that day forth you had been the most obedient of all.

The Revered Mother stands and leaves your presence to make arrangements to have you taken after the birth of your newborn which she knows will occur on Kaitan.

She can not risk a disruption to secure the bloodline of the Kswis Haderach. She plans to bring you back to the sisterhood and have you indoctrinated to control Feyd and have your newborn to be raised as a Bene Gesserit.

When you are certain she has gone you weep uncontrollably. You are shaken to your core at her words of killing Feyd Rautha and sacrificing your second child.

Once you collect your self. You reach the entrance of the garden and are escorted back to the Palace with your three assassins and your Doulah.

You clutch her arm and hold your womb with care because as you walk you continue to feel sharp pinches of pain in your core which you try to ignore.

Harkonnen Heir

When you reach the palace suite Feyd is dressed and sitting in a chair at the out door awning viewing the lake. The surface shimmers brightly due to the hour and the dancing reflections distract his weakened mind. When your arms slip around his neck he relaxes into you holding your forearm. He tilts his head up to gaze into your eyes and he smiles.

He feels complete now that your have returned to him and stands to hold you. He removes your veil and pulls you close planting a kiss on your forehead and holding you to his chest for a length of time centering himself.

“I thought youd been taken from me” he admits breaking the silence. “Never” you say smiling up at him. “Where did you go?” He asks gently. “I met with the Reverend Mother in the garden.” you confess and his heart sinks as remembers the words of the Emperor. “She will take our unborn and I can not allow that” he confesses.

“She will not.“ You say with confidence. Suddenly you feel a sharp pain in your core and cling to Feyd. You cry out as it intensifies and he helps you to the floor cradling you in his lap as the pain radiates stronger.

You feel the ache travel to your abdomen and you clutch your womb as you wail. The pain is agonizing and Feyd grabs ahold of your hands trying to calm you. He alerts the stunned guard who rushes in to to get your Doulah.

You look into Feyds eyes ”the unborn” you gasp out. “yes our child is arriving soon” he says with a smile to comfort you as he caresses your jaw. He quickly thinks of a way to protect his newborn from being taken.

You arrive in the brightly lit birthing chamber of the Emperial palace. It is a circular room with a large dome roof. Light shines down from a skylight in the dome with windows spaced every few inches apart to allow in the most light. There is only one entrance which is heavily guarded by Feyd soldiers.

You are moved from the transport bed to the birthing bed and propped with pillows to sit upright with your legs apart by the medical assistants. Feyd never releases your hand and remains by your side. Your practiced breathes fill the room doing just as your Doulah trained you.

As your contractions continue to worsen Feyd looks over your body in concern before finally gazing into your eyes. You have never witnessed his striking blue eyes exhibiting such fear before. You want to comfort him but you are in too much pain.

The midwife enters the room clad in the finest fabrics of Kaitan wearing masks with her healers. She conducts her inspection guiding her team with calming authority. Her assistants cut your gown from your body and covering you in a white sheet.

Seeing you are ready she gestures you to push and as you do the pain intensifies. After several pushes the air in the birthing chamber becomes thick with tension there is a complication.

The midwife requests to speak with Feyd separately in the crowded room and he momentarily leaves your side.

“Baron Feyd Rautha her labor is too intense the unborn will not stir” she conveys. Feyd for the first time feels pin pricks of fear all over his body “What can be done” he asks with urgency “We will be able to save both but we must have your permission to ….cut the flesh of the Baroness” she discerns. Feyd is relieved he finds it only fitting a Harkonnen should be cut out as if in combat. He readily agrees.

The palace healers comfort you as the and turn you on your side. They numb the skin of your back and gently place a needle in your spine to dull the lower half of your body from pain and movement.

When they remove the needle and gently lay you back on your pillows you are dizzy and high unable to feel your lower half. There is no more pain and Feyd holds your hand again. He looks down at you and smiles seeing your face is so calm.

“They will cut the unborn out” he says squeezing your hand tighter. You nod feeling the intense high in your body making you feel as if you are floating as you stare at him “Did you give them one of your blades to cut the unborn out.” you ask drugged and he smiles as he shakes his head no and pets back your hair.

The room is stagnant as the midwife applies more injections to the site she will cut. She pricks your belly hard with the knife drawing blood when you do not feel it she continues her incision.

Feyd’s breathing intensifies and his eyes widen in bewilderment as he watches her cut you open. The assistants place their hands on your belly once the incision is made and begin to push the unborn out.

The midwife easily collects the baby and due to its distress quickly cuts the umbilical cord and hands it to a healer.

Feyd sees the motionless grayish blue baby and his heart drops. When he doesn’t hear the cries he grips your hand even tighter in dispair. The healer begins to pat the baby’s back and shift it to clear its lungs as the midwife works to sew you shut.

Finally the cries of the newborn loudly fill the chamber and he sees the baby turn a pink color. Feyd releases the breath he didn’t know he had been holding as his heart swells with emotion.

The healer quickly cleans and wraps the newborn in a black gossamer blanket and places the baby into Feyd’s waiting arms. His eyes widen in awe as he looks at his new baby for the first time.

The infant is magnificent the nose the lips the soft cheeks, he has never seen anything so perfect.

"Our newborn” he whispers looking at the beautiful face feeling the happiness wash over him. He knows you must see right away too and places the baby in your arms but he never removes his hand. You feel the soft head lay on your skin and a wave of love and protectiveness washes over you.

As soon as the newborn feels your skin it reaches its tiny hand out of its bundle. Feyd places his pinky in the newborns grip as it opens its crystal blue eyes. You both let out a gasp at how well the color matches Feyds. The baby stares at you with an intense gaze. “He carries the blood of House Harkonnen." Feyd smiles seeing the resemblance in his son.

"What will you name him?" You ask gazing at the handsomeness of the Harkonnen heir. Feyd waits for the idea to form in his mind momentarily stunted by the enormity of the decision.

“I want him to carry a formidable name that honors mine and begins a new chapter for our lineage.” He confirms placing his hand around the babys soft head holding it lightly

He looks to you as he names your son “Rautha -Dimitri Harkonnen” he declares. It is the name of his maternal grandfather Rautha and his paternal grandfather Dimitri combined. Feyd feels it carries the essence of strength and change befitting of the future ruler.

You tuck your finger under baby Rauthas chin “A worthy name for your son” you smile as Feyd looks to you in agreement.

The news has already spread througout the palace. The reverend mother is dismayed that a second Bene Gesserit has defied the birthing order to have a male. With the Harkonnen genetics in tact she will now search for a compatible female to create the Kswis Haderach.

You knew on that fateful night as you held Feyd sleeping in your arms you wanted to finally escape the Bene Gesserits. You felt they had poisoned your parents all along to keep you and you never forgave them.

You realized having a son would guarantee the safety of your child and to be a Baroness meant your son would one day rule as Baron. All you had to do was keep Feyd pleased.

When you bound him with the Pranu Bindu you chose a word from a pleasant memory in your childhood. One only you would know, and If necessary under dire circumstances would give to the Bene Gessirits.

When Feyds cruelty softened to care on your wedding night you inherently knew he yearned to be nurtured. You strived to care for him and heal his broken psyche ultimately falling in love with him.

Now as the two of you rest together holding your infant you created that night you are overcome with a sense of love and serenity. Feyd presses a kiss to your forehead

"You've given me everything I dreamed of and more" he says marveling at his son’s tiny hand which holds his thumb. You look to Feyd in adoration “You have given me a life I never thought possible. I cherish every moment I have with you Feyd ” you admit caressing his hand which the baby holds.

Baby Rautha slowly drifts to sleep in your arms as you both dote over him “Let me hold him again “ Feyd says with his voice full of compassion.

He slides his hands around baby Rautha and cradles him in his arms. Feyds eyes shine with love as he watches the infant yawn. He presses his face against babies cheek inhaling his sent of sweet milk. You look over at the two of them and smile.

"I love you" Feyd whispers as his eyes briefly look over to yours, his voice is barely audible as he says the words for the first time.

"I love you too, Feyd.“ you finally tell him as your heart overflows with love.

He returns baby Rautha to your arms pressing a kiss to the sleeping infants hand.

Then he stares at your eyes and smiles. He holds your jaw and plants soft kisses on your forehead and on your cheeks finally resting his kiss on your lips.

He leans back and gazes into your eyes with deep devotion as he caresses your jaw. He realizes the three words do not come close to expressing how he truly feels for you but he will say them again and again to express what he can not convey. He is eternally grateful that you are his wife and the mother of his child. He will cherish you for eternity.

War Crimes

After five days of constant care you are strong enough to walk and carry baby Rautha around your palace suite. Your Doulah is nearby remaking the babies cot with fresh gossamer linens, you go to sit on the patio in a newly placed soft arm chair to gaze out at the lake resting baby Rautha in your arms. It is the first morning you have woken up without Feyd.

Before you would open your eyes each day Feyd was already up sitting in the rocking chair with Rautha telling him stories or softly humming Harkonnen war songs to him with his raspy voice.

He preferred you sleep and regain your strength and would dote on the baby at all hours of the night. Anything he couldn’t handle or had yet to learn be would retrieve the Doulah and climb back into bed with you.

He surpassed your skill when it came to swaddle or burp the baby. His technique was flawless as he wrapped baby Rautha into a perfect bundle in the gossamer cloths each time.

After feeding was the only time baby Rautha would make sounds of discomfort. You would try several methods to make him burp before Feyd would signal you to hand him over.

He placed a cloth on his shoulder and picked up baby Rautha gently resting him against his chest. He would pace the room rubbing his small back until the air trapped escaped from his tiny mouth.

He enjoyed fatherhood and as you watched him walk around shirtless holding Rautha it set you at ease. Being a father suited him well and you enjoyed how comfortable he was with his first baby, it made you yearn to fulfill his desire and give him more.

The only reason Feyd was not with you caring for Rautha on this morning is because he was summoned for a meeting with the Emperor.

Feyd sat in the elaborate Emperial office awaiting Emperor Shaddam. He looked around at all of the decorations of conquests for current ruler Shaddam Corrino the IV.

There are books up the walls in shelves as high as the ceiling. A large globe and a telescope are placed near the windows with a view of the palatial waterfalls. Hundreds of trophy’s and relics decorate display cases and pedestals around the room. The planet has been ruled for decades by one man and the magnitude of accumulated objects in his office reflect his reign.

Feyd hears the doors open to the office and stands as Emperor Shaddam enters holding the arm of his daughter Princess Irulans arm for balance.

He gestures Feyd to sit as he is ushered around his desk. He is helped to sit in his gilded chair by Princess Irulan. She kisses her fathers cheek then look up to Feyd “Congratulations on the birth of your son Baron Feyd Rautha “ she says pleasantly with a smile.

Feyd nods in acknowledgement and the Emperor kindly pats her hand “ Thank you my dear that will be all “he says. She smiles at her father and then to Feyd before gracefully leaving the room and shutting the doors.

“How are you feeling “ the Emperor asks with a light smile seeing the tiredness in Feyd’s eyes. “ I am well” Feyd responds briskly “ and the Baroness?” The Emperor implores more. “She is fine” Feyd answers feeling a joy in his heart at your acceptance. “And last but not leastthe excitement of the palace Rautha Dimitri Harkonen!” He says happily clasping his hands together with a jubilant smile. Finally Feyd smirks beaming with pride. “ he is my honor and heir” Feyd remarks fondly.

“Well I don’t want to keep you from them during such a precious time so I will get straight to the point” the Emperors smile fades as he opens his desk drawer retrieving a metal inscribed cylinder. He places it on the desk in front of Feyd.

“I received this on the day your son was born as if it was destiny. Even though I knew the say would come I could not bear to read the words and dropped it to the ground in front of of my daughter and my advisors in the garden. Princess Irulan retrieved it and was also in shock seeing the words” the Emperor relays.

Feyd picks up the metallic cylinder reading the first line

-The Tribunal for War Crimes of Emperor Shaddam Corino IV- stand out with the biggest lettering. Feyd sets the cylinder back down.

“The day after tomorrow I will be tried and convicted. The amount of evidence is substantial and kept so meticulously by your uncle. Most of the correspondences come from his personal office which must’ve been near impossible to retrieve for a spy.” Feyd clasps his hands and presses his fingers to his lips hiding the smile of his cleverness.

“With my final Emperial decree I wish you make you Emperor Feyd Rautha. I am old and frail and my daughter was unable to join with a compatible house.

The great houses all respect you and your generosity they will have no problem with this change. With the improvements you have made on Giedi Prime and Arrakis my people will have no resentment either.”

The Emperor then looks Feyd in the eyes with severity. “Will you allow me to officiate the coronation in two days time and hand over my Empire to you in a small ceremony before I am dethroned . It would give me great honor and restore the dignity I have lost in my old age during my reign.”

Feyd rests back in his chair and thinks on it before speaking “What does the ceremony entail?”

The emperor reaches in to his desk with a prepared list and summarizes its contents

“In the throne room you and your wife will be seated in front of the entirety of the Emperial court in a private ceremony. I will kneel to you and relinquish my power .”

He explains as her places the paper on Feyd side to study further.

As Feyd looks over the list the Emperor makes a request.

“When I relinquish my power to you I would ask of you two things;

First take care for my daughter Irulan and ensure she is safe. I will be exiled to Salusa Secundus and she may choose to join me there but her life here will be far better as a princess of Kaitan.

Secondly please show me leniency I will never plot to diminish your reign in any way.” He relents.

The Emperor slowly stands to see if Feyd will make the agreement final. Feyd stands with the Emperor and bows honoring his wishes. The Emperor weakly smiles understanding the gravity of his current situation and dismisses Feyd to return to his new family. He believes Feyd will make a fine Emperor in his stead.

Feyd finds you on the suite patio and quietly watches as you nurse his son. You look so serene and natural to him your eyes sparkling with joy as you coo at his infant latched and drinking milk.

Feyd's feels a wave of emotions watching the tender moment between the two of you. He steps out onto the patio making his presence known and comes to kneels down in front of you watching as you continue to nurse baby Rautha. "You're such a good mother," he says with his voice soft and filled with admiration. He trails his finger on Rauthas soft cheek watching him drink.

You look up at Feyd as a warm smile spreads across your lips. “ We missed you here this morning” you tell him lovingly.

“ I missed both you you as well” He admits as his heart swells with the feeling of being loved. He had never imagined he could live like this and marvels at how far you two have come together.

Baby Rautha finishes nursing and unlatches his small mouth. You tuck your breast away and snuggle him closer. He begins to wiggle and his face pinks slightly as he makes a small sound of discomfort.

“Let me have him” Feyd says knowing what he needs. You hand him over and Feyd stands swaying with the infant in his arms. The baby squirms feeling uncomfortable from the trapped air until Feyd pats it free.

The baby spittles on Feyd’s shoulder making you laugh. “Oh Feyd I forgot to hand you the cloth!” You say giving it to him late. ”It’s fine” Feyd says with a smile looking over at baby Rauthas chin wet with escaped milk.

He gently switches the baby to his left shoulder and dabs his chin clean. Then drapes the cloth over his right shoulder and replaces Rautha there

“How was your meeting with the Emperor” you ask already having an idea of what was discussed but wanting to hear the answer from his lips.

Feyd sits in the chair next to you on the patio and holds the sleeping infant Rautha to gaze at the beautiful baby in his lap.

“It is as you wished I will be Emperor. I will rule all of the great houses and control the two greatest armies in the galaxy. We will be free to do as we wish.” He looks over at you and smiles.

You smile in return as the reality sets in and you look out over the lake . You will own the entire palace. You sink back in your chair stunned, your son will be the future emperor now and Feyd made it all possible.

“I am eternally grateful for what you have done Feyd” you admit in astonishment. “In two days time we will be coronated here by Empeor Shaddam.” He says now staring out at the lake realizing the impact of his actions. You stand from your chair to be infront of him and place your hands on his armrests. You lean in and kiss his lips seeing how lost in thought he is. “ Emperor Feyd Rautha” you say seductively making him smile.

Emperor Feyd Rautha

You all awaken in the early morning as the sun rises and are helped by several servants to dress. It is Feyds coronation day as Emperor.

Feyd forgoes the traditional Kaitan white tunic and wears a velvet black high neck long sleeved one instead. It is lined with black Harkonenn gemstones.

You wear a black corseted grown with golden appliqués covering your neck and shoulders as well as your cuffs and hem. Baby Rautha wears a black baby tunic matching to his father’s and is wrapped in a shimmering gold swaddle.

The procession is led by Emperor Shaddam wearing a silver tunic. He enters the throne room first carrying a golden scepter. The three of you follow him inside to see the room is filled with dignitaries and leaders of the great houses as well as the imperial court. Every golden seat is filled on either side of the white and gold precession rug leading to the thrones.

You clutch Feyds arm tighter and hold the baby closer as your nerves rise. Rautha sleeps bundled peacefully in your arms.

The thrones on the raised ruling platform are surrounded by pillars of palatial garden flowers. Two orchestras are seated at the ground level of either side and wait on queue to play.

The emperor carefully climbs the golden steps leading to his sacred ruling space for the final time.

The stairs are lined with garden florals in a beautiful display. He stands at his ruling space smiling and gestures Feyd permission to enter as the new ruler. Feyd takes your hand from around his arm and helps you climb the stairs.

The room is silent as you both stand infront of the Emperor and bow. Shaddam slowly bows to Feyd unable to kneel as customary due to his age. A round of applause begins from the rows of guests in attendance as they witness the exchange of power. The sound awakens baby Rautha as the next part of the procession begins.

Count Fenring bows at the base of the stairs and is permitted to bring a pillow with the golden Emperial signet ring. He carries it up and bows to Feyd again before standing next to Emperor Shaddam.

The Emperor takes the ring and holds the weight of it for the last time. Feyd slips his silver Barons ring from his pinky and instead of placing it on the ceremonial pillow he turns to baby Rautha placing the ring in his infants reaching hand “Hold this for Uncle Rabban” he says sweetly as the baby grasps it.

He then turns and accepts the ring from Shaddam which has already been fitted for his pinky.

Shaddam then lifts his golden scepter placing it across his hands and bows his head offering it to Feyd who accepts.

Rounds of applause begin to fill the room as everyone stands in jubilation for the momentous occasion. The orchestra begins to play a rousing classical Kaitan melody.

You and Feyd take your thrones as Emperor and Empress with your son Prince Rautha.

Shaddam Corino is helped down the stairs by Count Fenring they both turn and bow in reverence.

You look over to Feyd smiling, you are so proud of him. He grasps your hand placing a kiss on your knuckles and looks over your beautiful signet ring as Empress. “So be it” he says smiling remembering your conversation as the force which pushed his decision.

He caresses Baby Rauthas soft head and gestures to hold him. You hand over the baby to Feyd and the cheers erupt even louder from the audience that he already has an heir.

This is only the private ceremony for his coronation there will be a banquet following in the evening and within a few weeks time the public parade in celebration of his reign at the capital.

A Holy Shrine

Six moths after Feyd’s momentous coronation on Kaitan you arrive to the planet of LankerVille in the much larger Empirical Space craft. It has every amenity possible with servants throughout.

Feyd has summoned his brother Rabban to join who arrives from Geidi Prime in his palatial ship as the new Baron. Both space crafts land adjacent to the courtyard of the former leaders home.

As you approach the former governors mansion carrying Rautha not a word is uttered as you follow Feyd and Rabban to go inside.

They push open the large red doors and you enter into an enormous abandoned throne room. Everything is bare and gray.

“I want it made into a Holy Shrine” Feyd finally says to Rabban once he explores the vacant room. You and Rabban watch as Feyd walks to the center and kneels on the floor in a certain place.

You look to Rabban in curiosity. “Why does he kneel here?” You ask under your breath unsure if it is a Harkonnen custom. Rabban stares blankly ahead. “ His mother was slain there…our father and mother were killed in this very room“ Rabban corrects himself.

The air is sucked out of your lungs you had no idea. Rabban peers over at you realizing you were never told because Feyd will never tell you. He understands then that he should. But he struggles to find the softening words so he just tells the truth.

“Years ago when he was a boy and I was a young man our uncle ordered us to kill our parents here”

Your eyes widen in shock as you clutch your chest and become dizzy with the devastating information. It takes you several moments to collect yourself. “But…Why?” Is all you can weakly get out.

“Our parents hid us away and changed our last names to Rabban. This was the punishment for betrayal of the Harkonnen lineage” Rabban admits.

You try to calm your breathing as baby Rautha becomes fussy on your hip sensing your distress. Then you realize his grandmother and grandfather were slain in this very room by his father and uncle.

It becomes too much for you to bear and you flee from the throne room heading out into the fresh air of the courtyard. You take deep breaths trying to calm yourself.

Baby Rauthas carer and Feyd’s guards watch as you try to collect your self. Rauthas carer comes and gently collects him from your shaking arms.

“Empress perhaps you should rest I don’t like the looks of your condition“ she says with concern watching the way you blankly stare at the ground shaking. You wave her back “Take Rautha to the ship I will only be a moment.” You command her. The carer takes Rautha to eat and play while you gather yourself.

You shudder realizing this day would come and how little you know of your husband. The fact he would bring your child here shakes you to your core.

His brother was so callous in the way he told you and it makes you realize how cruel the Harkonnens are and that Feyd is the one with the most emotional intellect.

Both men emerge from the mansion. You put on a brave face though your eyes are sad, you feel a rise of pity in your chest as you look at them. You cant even begin to imagine the torment they went through.

Feyd beckons you to come to him and you take his hand as you join his side.

“Rabban will stay for dinner on our craft to spend time with us before he heads back to Geidi Prime” Feyd conveys as he studies your eyes. He sees how sad they are as you gaze into his . You feel a wave of emotion and softly hug him then start sobbing against his neck. He pets down your hair to calm you.

“Empress do not fret I know you are overcome with emotion now but everything will be made right.” He says gently and places his hands to see your tear streaked face. He uses his thumbs to wipe the tears from your eyes. “Go and prepare for dinner you need to eat” he says gently.

You nod and realize this must be very hard for him and he just wants to enjoy a dinner with his family, perhaps even in honor of his parents.

You quickly wipe your eyes and enter the Emperial space craft. You clean your face in the main suite just in time to join in everyone at the dinner table.

As you enter the dining room Rabban is seated at the foot of the table with little Rautha on his lap. Rabban is smiling and teasing little Rautha speaking gibberish before tickling his stomach. Rautha shrieks of laughter make you smile.

You sit at Feyd right and he takes your hand tracing his thumb across your knuckles “Are you alright now Empress?” He asks with a warm smile, you gently nod.

Dinner is placed in front of everyone. Herb seared filet from the lakes of Lankerville.

Little Rautha is sat upon his careers lap to the left side of his father as she feeds him his first bite of fish.

“Do you like it?” Feyd asks him gleefully and Rautha nods smiling with his gums making Feyd chuckle.

“And you Rabban?” Feyd yells down the table. Rabban lifts his fork still chewing . “It is good“ he says once his mouth is free.

Rabban looks at your plate seeing it is all vegetables and laughs. “ What the Empress does not like it?” He teases and you smile.

“Ask her how many children she plans to have” Feyd says grinning.

Rabban drops his fork to the table. “ NO! It is not possible brother !” He exclaims.

Rabban stands up and charges to Feyds side of the table making Feyd get up block him playfully “Don’t you dare touch her!” Feyd says pushing him back. Rabban laughs maniacally “I wouldn’t dare touch your female especially with your unborn.” Rabban confirms.

He looks to your abdomen as Feyd helps you stand. Rabban bows his head in reverence “congratulations Empress“ he says and is too stunned to say anything else just staring at your abdomen in disbelief.

You speak up breaking the silence “Thank you Rabban now please eat and enjoy this lovely dinner.” you say kindly. He smiles to you and then Feyd returning to his seat happily shaking his head at how quickly his brother already has you pregnant again with a second unborn. You all eat together with jovial conversation for the entirety of the meal.

After Rabban leaves your ship the Emperial craft ascends from the planet of Lankerville heading back to Kaitan.

You stand over the crib of sleeping Rautha and caress his soft cheek before pulling his blanket higher on his chest, there is a chill in the craft as it heads through space and you want him to be warm. “Will you fetch him a gossamer blanket” you ask his carer and she readily nods preparing to watch over him through the night in his room.

You head back to the main chamber and place your hand in the reader to open the doors. It is darkened but an enormous window illuminates the large room with starlight.

Feyd stands looking out of it with his hands clasped behind his back. When he hears the doors he knows you are there and looks over his shoulder offering his hand to you.

He is shirtless even though the craft is so cold. You take his hand and he places you infront of him to gaze at the stars together.

“I’ve asked the controller to slow the ship so we can see the stars for an hour before we go to trans light speed” he says against your ear as he holds you closely to him. “They are beautiful” you say already mesmerized by the billions of flickering lights.

He pulls your hair over your shoulder planting a kiss there “Emperor and Empress” he says placing another kiss your neck “wealthiest family in the galaxy” he says pulling you closer against him. “What would you like to do next” he asks smiling against your ear.

You turn over your shoulder to look into his eyes as you answer “Raise our children on Kaitan” you confirm with a loving gaze. “So be it “ he says planting a soft kiss on your lips. “And what about for the next hour?” He asks seductively as he grins with a knowing smile.

The End

Thank you for completing the series! Here is my Upcoming Fics List if you enjoy my writing and the Feyd Fantasy Series Masterlist to read all over again

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[anyarose011]

"There Must Be Something in the Water" {Aemond x Reader}

Summary: Many men with one eye have followed you home before...but never one with silver hair. What could he possibly want with you?

Part 1 of 3 (Masterlist)

Warning(s): Swearing, vulgar jokes, talk of sex, prostitution, and spice (but not smut)

I jumped on the HOTD bandwagon, and even worse (I don't know how it happened, seriously, I don't), I started loving Aemond "Mommy Issues" Targaryen. I came up with this lovely little mini series, and I hope you enjoy it! If you know where the song in this chapter is from, 100 points to *insert your Hogwarts House*! Also, please don't try and keep a timeline of events (the show for sure doesn't), and if you need help on the Westeros money system, use this.

Word Count: 4.2k

You knew a man was following you one lonesome night. It was like clockwork though; you walking through the empty, darkened streets of King’s Landing, a hollow water jug on your hip as if it were a babe.

It didn’t matter if it was the same one who’d been following you all week; what mattered, was what he had. You hadn’t caught sight of him yet, so perhaps he was a different man. Still, if it wasn’t, then simply from how his eyes must traced over you, he’d plan on coming closer that night.

Wearing only your sandals and a thin dress, you continued down the narrow path. It must’ve been…oh, perhaps three hours before sunrise? If you’d gone any sooner or any later, than members of the City Watch would surely be out.

Whether they wanted to aid or hurt you, it would all be the same.

As faint torches began to appear alongside the walls you walked, and you knew you grew closer to the well, you began to hum lightly at first. Then, you sung even softer; no words, just your voice in its purest form. It was only when you finally made it to the well, and after you sat atop the stones, did you finally add a story to your song.

“Father’s hunting in the forest, Mother’s cooking in the home. I must go to fetch the water, ‘til the day that I am grown.”

You cranked the bucket down into the well, still singing.

“’Til I’m grown, ‘Til I’m grown. I must go to fetch the water, ‘til the day that I am grown.”

You glanced up and saw the shadow of the man who had been following you. He was still peeking out from behind an alley, but once he saw your head move, he stepped out. Yet, you merely kept your back to him, cranking the handle on the well to bring the bucket up.

“Then I will have a handsome husband, and a daughter of my own. Then I’ll send her to fetch the water, I’ll be cooking in the home.”

Taking the bucket off its hook, you poured it carefully into the jug. Setting the bucket back, you then stood up, taking the full jug of water into your arms. Slowly, you began to walk uphill and out of the area of the well, singing quietly.

“My own home, My own home. Then, I’ll send her to fetch the water, I’ll be cooking in my home. My own home, My own-.”

You’d gotten better at making it look like an accident when dropping your jug of water. The first time you’d done it, you glanced back to make sure your unsuspecting victim was watching and let go of it. Needless to say, he was the one that robbed you that night.

The jug rolled down the cobbled hill, and ricocheted off the well, spinning in place. Soon, the silhouette of a man became visible as he came closer to the jug. Your eyes drifted up from the ground. When you saw his face, the first thing you noticed was only one eye; the other, his left eye, covered by a humble patch.

Then, the one thing that frightened you: Long hair that was almost the shade of the sun, it was so light.

This wasn’t a drunken man wandering alone at night, this wasn’t a Kingsguard who had an itch to scratch.

No…no, this was Aemond Targaryen, a prince. A prince who could do anything to you, and you wouldn’t be able to resist; even if you fought.

And he was staring at you from the foot of the hill. You weren’t even at the top, only halfway. In actuality, this wasn’t the most afraid you’d ever been in a situation like this. Still, the way he bent down to pick up the jug without his smile wavering, or his eye never leaving yours, greatly unnerved you.

Then, he turned away from you, approaching the well. Setting down the jug, he began to turn the crank of the well, lowering the bucket back down into the water. This wasn’t the first time a man had done this…yet from a prince?

“Come down now,” he beckoned, not looking at you. “I won’t cause any harm. You look ridiculous.”

You hadn’t any idea at the time what words he would say…but those weren’t what you expected at all. Making a sour face, you slowly trailed down the rocky hill until you were at level with him. Aemond stopped cranking, and finally looked at you.

“I know you aren’t a mute.” He taunted. “You wouldn’t sing so sweetly if you were.”

Still, you refused to speak. Instead, you folded your hands, standing tall as if you were an equal to him. This only widened the smile upon his face. He sat atop the rocks of the well, leaving a space for you.

You approached him, but did not sit. Even as his eyes trailed over your figure (and how little of your curves the dress hid), you remained stoic; at least, as best as you could. It certainly wasn’t the first time a man looked upon you with lust…but it felt stranger now.

“Don’t tell me I have to pay coin solely to have a conversation with you?” He laughed.

“No.” You finally spoke. “But you are the second Targaryen I have witnessed to take comfort in brothels whilst mourning his line in succession.”

…If you were going to die at any point in life, you at least thought you would die in a fight. This wasn’t the one you were imagining, but it would do.

He nodded, his voice returning to what you assumed to be normal; a natural edge to it that one would find difficult to discern if he was angry at them. “I assume my brother was the first to receive your comfort then?”

“He has never laid eyes on me.”

“I have heard the stories of you.” Aemond hissed. “A living siren, luring those thinking with the head between their legs, only to rob them of all they have. How is it possible he has not seen you?”

“Perhaps you underestimate the King’s intelligence.”

“You followed me.” You wanted to say, but only did so in your mind.

He sighed, standing up to be almost toe to toe with you. “If you are not a whore, then how did you come to know I have visited the Street of Silk?”

Dropping your eyes to the ground, they were soon brought back up by Aemond’s hand cupping your jaw. You did not know if it was shock or stupidity, but you weren’t the least bit afraid. He wanted answers, and he wasn’t so pigheaded to kill you before you gave them.

You backed out of his grip, sighing as if he was an inconvenience (he was, but you couldn’t tell him that). “For years I have made deals with the ladies of the night. I come to them in the evening, they tell me what men are still sick with lust, I lure those men, rob them, maim them, kill them if I have to, and share whatever I have taken.”

A smile lurked in the corner of his mouth. “You’ve killed men before?”

You crossed your arms. “Yes.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“It doesn’t matter to me what you believe.”

“Did the women tell you to lure me?”

“They did not tell me it was you.”

“But you knew I was in their attendance.”

“Are you going to fill my jug of water or not?”

Aemond turned back to the well, your empty water jug still resting on the stones. “Answer my question.” He gritted his teeth, yet still brought his hands to the crank and turned it.

You leaned against the basin, watching him and debating your words. “Have you spoken to any women outside your house?”

He snickered (to your surprise and your delight). “You’re very strange.”

“Answer my question.” You teased gently.

“Yes, I have.” The bucket resurfaced, and he took it off the hook. “If my frequent visitations to the Street of Silk haven’t made you aware, then I would say that the gods have cursed you with selective attention.”

“Then you must know that women like to talk.” You sat upon the rocks. “That it would be impossible for them to keep quiet about a silver-haired prince with one eye.”

Aemond said not a word as he poured the water into the jug. When it was filled, he set the bucket back on the hook and walked to stand in front of you. His hands resting on the stones outside of your thighs, caging you.

“Do you favor talking?”

“Only when it brings me favor.”

He brought one of his hands up to your thigh, dancing dangerously close to the inside of it. You sucked in a breath as he asked. “This is what it takes to grant you favor? Dressing yourself up like a doll, singing like a bird for men?”

“Why did you follow me?” You brought your face just a little closer for him to hear your whisper.

“I thought I already told you.” He held your face in his other hand, shutting his eye and hovering his nose above yours. “I have heard the stories; I wanted to see if you were real, and as beautiful as many have claimed.”

You brought your hand to grip onto the wood of the well, steadying yourself as you felt his breath upon your skin. “And what are your thoughts?”

He opened his eye, wearing that same smile. “You’re not…unpleasing to look at.” Pinching your cheek, he drew himself away from you to see the state you contorted your body in. He scoffed. “Seven Hells, you thought I’d push you, didn’t you?”

Relaxing, you hopped down from where you sat, cradling the heavy jug of water into your arms. “You can never be careful around men.”

He hummed. “Especially those who look like the monsters mothers tell their children hide that under their beds.”

“I would’ve thought that if I hadn’t spoken to you.” You tried to pass by him.

His hand came to rest on your bare shoulder; his fingers playing with the thin strap. “And now that you have?”

You felt bold that night (if it wasn’t obvious prior). So, holding the jug on your hip, you brought your other hand over his; softly caressing his knuckles as you smiled. “You’re funny.”

He didn’t laugh, not even smiled. Instead, for a moment, you saw his eye grow. You pulled away from him, your stomach churning at what you had just said and done. You offended him, you must have.

“Goodnight,” your curtsied. “your grace-.”

“-Aemond.”

Now it was your turn for your eyes to enlarge.

“You may call me Aemond.”

He said it as if you would surely see him again. Taking a crisp breath, you smiled shyly. “And what if I were to call you ‘Little Prince’?”

“Perhaps when I hear you sing again, I might allow it.”

 “Then I bid you goodnight, Aemond.” You curtsied playfully, quickly turning on your heel to walk away from him.

You heard his footsteps behind you. “You have not told me your name.”

“Perhaps when you hear me sing again,” you repeated his words. “I shall give it to you.”

You expected him to follow you for the second time that night. To maybe pull you into a dark alleyway and make you tell him your name in the most pleasant way possible. Yet, you did not hear a retort as you walked back up the cobbled hill and turned on the first right to where your home was.

The sound of life soon flooded your ears as you walked through the main part of the city. Even with it being almost sunrise, there were still enough people out and about. It was only when you were nearing close to home, did the events of the night truly dawn on you.

You ran into the prince, and not only had you come out of it unharmed but also liked by him. It couldn’t possibly have been anything more than him wanting to wet his cock again (wet his cock with a girl his own age to put it more accurately, but you could never say that aloud). Despite how much the interaction thrilled and entertained you, you hoped to any gods above you wouldn’t see him again for that very reason.

Whilst turning another corner, a hooded man had tried to do the same, causing the two of you to collide. The jug fell out of your arms and crashed onto the road, the water spilling out.

“Cocksucker!” You cursed, falling to your knees.

You glanced up at the man who caused this, but he quickly pushed past you. For a moment, you thought you saw silver hair.

It was an open secret amongst the Smallfolk how…peculiar the Targaryens were.

Sighing heavily, you pulled yourself up along with the jug. When you began to walk though, you heard soft clinging from the jug. Stopping soon as you started, you glanced into the empty jug, and a faint shining momentarily blinded you. You reached in and pulled out five silver coins.

Stags…they were Stag coins.

You could pay half a years’ worth of food, a somewhat nicer place to live, clothes that were your own…but it wasn’t enough for passage on a ship, none the less, a new life.

Sliding the coins back into the jug, you continued on your way home as if nothing had happened. All the while, pondering if running into the little prince again would do more harm than good.

Not the day after you ran into Aemond, but the day after that, you were in the streets with the other smallfolk, weeping with his sister and his mother.

The same night you first met him was the same night Prince Jaeherys was beheaded. You hadn’t an idea how old he was until you watched his little body wheeled through King’s Landing. There had never been a procession like this, and the whole event made you feel ill.

It felt strange to call it an event; to have the same word used for festivals and celebrations describe a funeral. 

As you attempted to escape the crowds that were reaching out to Queen Halaena, a daunting thought dawned on you: Was it Daemon Targaryen, the traitor to the Crown, uncle and husband to Rhaenyra, that you saw the previous night?

Swallowing down the sickness that stirred within you, you decided to cauterize your doubt with work.

“You know,” one of the brothel workers, Valda, smirked. “a certain, silver-haired dragon keeps asking about you.”

Scowling, you looked at her in the mirror while sitting at the vanity, one of the other girls doing your hair. “And what have you told him?”

“I’ve told him nothing. Chansey though-.”

“-You said you wouldn’t tattle!” Chansey, after running a comb through your hair, threw  it at her.

It was dinner for most of the girls, and every one of them laughed as they ate in one of the sitting rooms.

“What did you tell him?” You interrogated.

She sighed. “When he came last night, he asked for ‘The Woman at the Well’, and if I knew your name. I said you’d have to tell him yourself, and that you left an hour before he arrived.”

“So now he knows I’m here right now.”

Valda rolled her eyes, kneeling to your height and wrapping her arms around you. “If he cared so much for you, why isn’t he here right now?”

“I don’t want to know.”

He was more than likely fucking Sylvi as you spoke.

“What did you do to the Kinslayer to make him act like this?” She jested.

There was that name people were calling him. He killed Lucerys Velaryon, son of Rhanerya and probably the reason there would be a war in the coming month. People said that the boy fell from his dragon, others said Aemond’s dragon ate him, you didn’t know at the time. All you knew was that you wanted the conversation to end.

But, Valda persisted.

“I know you’ve never lain with anyone, but I didn’t know you sucked cock like a goddess.”

“What?!” You shrieked, and the girls howled with laughter. “I did nothing of the sort!”

Chansey giggled. “Don’t tell us you let him nurse on your tits like a newborn babe.”

“…Huh?”

More giggles followed as she said. “That’s what he does to Sylvi-!”

“-Who does what to me?”

Four little words silenced the room quicker than a drawn sword would have. All eyes darted to the opened door, and Sylvi entering. She only looked at Chansey.

She swallowed thickly. “No one, Madame Sylvi.”

“I hope you aren’t shaming the activities that I or other girls have done in this house; considering you have spread your legs and filled your mouth for far longer than half of the women in this room alone.”

“I didn’t intend any harm, Madame.” She dropped her head solemnly. “Please, forgive me.”

Sylvi approached her, caressing her cheek. “All is forgiven unless I hear those ugly words from you again. That goes for the rest of you, understood?”

They nodded and mumbled their agreement. Sighing, Sylvi announced. “Take the rest of your dinner in your quarters. If any men request you, tell him to wait, you still have fifteen minutes left. I need to speak with our ‘Woman at the Well’, as the title has been given to her by the prince himself.”

The girls chuckled, offering sincere goodbyes as they passed by you before exiting. When it was only you and Sylvi, she sat down on the long couch just behind where you were sitting. She looked at you through the mirror and tilted her head. You got up and sat beside her.

“Did you get anything from last night?” She first asked.

Nodding, you took out a small pouch from your boot. “It was the man visiting from Essos.”

“The rich one or his pageboy?” She opened it, revealing two copper Star coins, and one Groat. That answered her question.

“Apparently,” you relaxed further into the couch, leaning against her. “the rich one grew a conscience and decided to go back to his wife instead of fucking Valda. Did she tell you that?”

“You know her.” She stretched her arm to hang behind you. “She doesn’t like being left dry.”

“Does anyone?” You giggled.

Sylvi lightly tugged a piece of your hair. “Don’t slouch, you’ll mess up Chansey’s hard work.”

Playfully rolling your eyes, you sat up. “It’s already dark, is there someone waiting for an innocent woman at a well?”

She shook her head. “No, not that I’ve heard of now, but tonight, perhaps. There’s so much talk of war, I’m feeling ill already thinking of it. Still, it will bring fortune for the both of us.”

“I suppose so.” You sighed, leaning forward.

Her hand came up to stroke your back, her finger trailing your spine. “Is it true you still haven’t fucked anyone?”

“Sylvi!” You laughed.

“Is it wrong I find it hard to believe?!” She shoved you playfully. “You’ve done so much good for us throughout the years; I’m confident there isn’t one handsome fella who wouldn’t want to bed you. Or one of the ladies, if you prefer.”

“I’m alright.” You had told her that a hundred times prior, and you felt as if you would tell her a hundred times more.

She sighed. “Suit yourself. Come back in an hour or two, we should have someone drunk on cunt for you to sedate.”

“Of course.”

You dusted yourself off and stood, heading to the door. Sylvi called your name, and you turned.

“I don’t want you speaking with the prince.” Her face was sullen. “You shouldn’t have to deal with his burdens.”

Nodding, you opened the door. “Tell him to leave me be if he asks again; I don’t want to deal with him either.”

You had decided on not wanting to see him again; even if he gave you a hundred Dragons (…that’s a lie, you would).

So, after wandering around King’s Landing for another hour, sticking close to the well-lit parts of the city and almost enjoying the merry crowds, you went back to the brothel, changed into your thin dress, and applied a light coat of makeup. Valda had been with a boy who turned two and twenty that night; friendless, wanted to do something extraordinary to celebrate his name day, and she had been the first person who made him cum. He didn’t even get to slip his cock in her, he was so overwhelmed.

She said he was sweet; you almost felt bad as you spotted him whilst preparing around the corner.

You began to sing the same song you sang every other night, carrying the jug on your hip. You were bolder that night knowing he was more innocent than you, so you glanced over your shoulder and beckoned him closer.

As you sat on the well, letting the bucket lower, you could feel the boy’s presence grow stronger. When you finished your song, you finally looked at him, grinning from ear to ear. Then, your eyes fell to a figure in the alleyway behind him.

“Does your mother know you’re here, boy?”

Said boy turned to look over his shoulder and was met with the face of a hooded one-eyed man, grinning like the devil. The boy’s jaw quivered and only stammers escaped. Aemond walked closer to him.

“What did you think would happen tonight?” He taunted. “You’d come up behind her and fuck her senseless?”

“N-no, I-I-!”

“-Leave us.”

The trembling boy said nothing more; only kept his head down and walked quickly away from the well. Rolling your eyes, you drew them away from the prince once it was only the two of you.

“You’re welcome.”

‘You’re welcome’ he said.

You looked back at him, your face falling into disgust. “What do I have to be thankful for?”

“I assumed you didn’t take pleasure luring little boys night after night.” He sat beside you. “Seems like a chore.”

“It’s worse.” You sighed, cranking the water bucket up. “It’s a job; something us smallfolk need.”

He snickered. “You believe I’ve never worked a day in my life.”

“For coin? Yes.”

“Is there anything else you do for work? Or are you just a siren?”

You looked at him, halting yourself. “Why did you pay me that night?”

He shrugged. “You gave me a service.”

“Someone to talk to?”

“Entertainment.”

Leaning against the wooden post of the well, you asked. “So will you pay me in gold this time? Considering you entertained yourself so much I lost a quarry?”

“We’ll see.” He stood up and placed his hand on the crank.

Humming, you stood as well, turning your whole body to him. “And no, I don’t just do this.”

“What do you do?”

“I usually tailor, sometimes look after children; many odd jobs.”

“Where do you tailor?”

You smirked. “Try asking me later.”

He took the bucket off its hook once it appeared. “I won’t, if you tell me your name.”

“How much coin do you have for that?”

“You didn’t have to pay for my name.”

“I already knew who you were.”

“Well, then you didn’t have to pay for the privilege to use it.” He poured the water into your jug.

You shrugged. “You made me lose a quarry, so…”

Aemond rolled his eye, but you could still see a smirk playing on his lips as he reached into his pocket and took out three silver coins; Moons. Your own eyes grew, and like a greedy child, you instantly stretched your hand out to grasp them. He was quicker, holding them closer to his chest.

“Ah, ah, ah, your name, and something else…”

That’s what made you lose interest. You forced yourself to stand taller, but your heart was trying to beat itself out of your chest and run away in terror.

“I’m not going to…to…”

He tilted his head, mimicking you. “To…to do what?”

“How plainly am I allowed to speak to you?”

“As if you were my own brother.”

“I’m not going to fuck you.” You forced out. “And I won’t let you do that to me either.”

Aemond chuckled, shaking his head. “Is there a difference?”

“Out of the both of us, you’re the only one who’s been in a pleasure house for its intended purpose. I thought you would know.”

“And you have thought correctly.” He pocketed the coins. “I don’t wish for that; only a walk.”

You furrowed your brow. “To where?”

“Nowhere, just around King’s Landing.”

This was stranger than the first night. The coins were meant to be found after you left, but now there he was, paying you directly for a service. He more than likely had his fill with Sylvi earlier, and after you first mentioned him to the girls, one of them let it slip that Madame Sylvi was the only woman he pleasured himself with.

So, despite how much he would deny it, Prince Aemond Targaryen was paying you to be a friend.

And damn it all, even though you had a feeling it would all end in tears, you couldn’t stop yourself from giving him your name.

[hellfire--cult]

Edit of Eddie: Sofiiel

Stripper!Eddie x Shy!Fem!Reader

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 (end)

WC: 22.4k (please take your time while reading this)

⚠️ +18 MDNI, Stripper!Eddie, nervousness, fluff, self doubt, flirting, soft touches, mentions of vomit, drinking, skin on skin contact, kissing, kissing with tongue, pining, sexual tension, smut, a lot of it (i won't spoil it)

Plot: You thought you were cursed with your shyness, but after one embarrassing night, you decide it's time to change, and you believe someone might be able to help with that.

Summary: You realize what you're feeling for Eddie, and your relationship finally shifts, as you finally let go. You finally let yourself go.

A/N: This chapter... took it's time... Its long, but IT'S WORTH IT I PROMISE. I hope you all take your time to read it, and enjoy it. I enjoyed writing it so and I hope the feelings I tried to put into words can be felt through the screen.

You can always support me by hitting the reblog button with tags, and I always enjoy reading your comments!

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PART 6

You felt like you were floating on air.

Your limbs were completely relaxed, your muscles felt as if they were gelatin on your body, and you were warm. Slowly gaining back your consciousness as you stirred slightly in bed, groaning as you stretched your arm forward, over the comforters that were hugging your body tightly, providing you with their heat. 

Slowly, your senses started coming back, touch first, feeling the soft texture of the comforter, hugging it tightly against you. But then, your sense of smell came back, picking up a sweet scent. A sweet yet manly scent. And that’s when your hearing came back, soft snores that were very close to you, extremely. So your eyes shot open.

And your sense of sight came back.

Eddie’s face was facing yours, but he was still asleep, comforter over his body as well and your heart and breathing stopped. The tension came back to your muscles in an instant, as you felt your stomach begin to contract in itself, and your fingertips became cold from the nervousness, from the overwhelming realization of what happened yesterday.

Oh god, yesterday.

He caressed you, and you let him. He kissed you, and you let him. He touched you, and you let him. He made you feel good, and you let him. You let your friend touch you. You let a friend touch you in a way that only happens intimately, only because you were curious. You took a sharp intake of breath to forbid yourself from screaming as nausea invaded your stomach.

You needed to get out. How can you face him? How can you possibly face him after he– Your head began to spiral, maniacally. Your legs shifted and your eyes widened when you felt your wetness still there, having not changed or cleaned yourself from what happened last night. Another wave of embarrassment washed over you remembering you fell asleep on him. 

You didn’t even return the favor.

You felt your body heat up at the thought because you didn’t even know if you should have. He did it by his own accord, didn’t he? He just wanted to help you, that’s it, that was it. But, oh god, you moaned. You let your voice out, he heard you moan, without any restraint and– Your blood immediately left your system as you kept remembering the night before.

You moaned his name. 

You had to immediately leave. Your body and your heart cannot take it. You ruined it, everything is ruined, there is no turning back from this. There is no way you can see him eye to eye any longer, because friends don’t do this. No matter how much you are burning at the moment, you can’t take a friend’s help as an advantage. You are despicable, you are horrible, and there’s no way Eddie would forgive you for it.

You looked at Eddie’s face again and you stopped your movements and thoughts. You focused on his steady breaths as soft snores came out from his mouth, which was just partially open. His eyelashes are long, and some strands of his hair were on his face. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest again as you stared at him. His arm was draped over his head, and you could see the tattoos all over his skin. 

Your hand unconsciously reached out and your fingertips touched his bicep, finding the part of the tattoo sleeve where a dragon lays. You were entranced by his art as you looked all over it, mentally taking screenshots of every single trace. You looked back at his face and your hand immediately shifted towards him, your nails gracing his cheek, gently, and you took one of the strands of his hair out of his face.

You felt your face heat up watching him. You won’t deny, ever, that he is gorgeous, probably the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, and not once in your life you thought you would be able to touch someone like him in this way. Not even in your wildest dreams. Yet, it was so easy with him, talking to him, touching him, even kissing him. 

Your fingertips suddenly went to his bottom lip, softly gracing it with your index finger, feeling his hot breath hitting your skin, and you licked your lips not really noticing your movements. You just felt like touching him, and the burning started happening once more. Why was it happening? Why is the heat there? 

But your brain was not cooperating with your body right now. There was a growing need as your fingertip felt the plushness of his lip, a need to taste him again, a need to get closer again, get his arms around you, tightly, holding you and feel yourself tremble against him once more. You wanted more. It seems that’s the only word that is persistent in your head when you’re with Eddie.

More. More. More.

Why wasn’t it enough? Why wasn’t it ever enough? What more can you want? He is your friend, what else could be there that you wanted? And why just him? Why didn’t you feel this heat with Steve or Billy? Why didn’t you feel it with Austin? Why haven’t you been feeling it for every man you crossed paths with since you met Eddie? You had talked to men, be it at the grocery shop, or at a cafe, men working there, or simply greeting you. 

But it’s only with Eddie that you feel this unbearable heat, these flames that just spread like wildfire everytime he touches you, even with just a brush of hands. You can’t remember a time you felt this way for someone else, this hunger that you can’t satiate no matter how much you wait for it to go away.

Your eyes darted downwards, where his pelvic area would be and you gulped heavily as you remembered the night before again. You felt him, and you had enjoyed rubbing yourself on him, even if he didn’t know you were doing it consciously. Your breath picked up as you felt an impulse in your chest, wanting it to move your hand, wanting to explore. Not just his lips, but his shoulders, his bare chest, his back, his legs, and then–

You felt a sharp small pain in your fingertip, making you wince, completely taking you out of your trance and thoughts, out of the cloud that was in your mind, and your eyes darted up again as your hand moved away by instinct only to see brown eyes staring right back at you, and your blood drained once again, as the heat immediately was dampened with a cold bucket of ice water.

“Was I drooling or something?” He questioned with a hoarse morning voice that instantly went to your belly, knotting it up, and your hairs stood on end, embarrassment filling your chest and your brain immediately triggered the flight mode. You immediately threw the comforter off your body, moving away from him, and sitting up quickly. 

Your breathing quickened as you shot up from the bed, only for your limbs to feel like jelly, and you tumbled slightly, Eddie’s eyes widening as he saw the panic setting in your body. He really wished he was the first one to wake up today, because he knew you would probably have a lot of thoughts in your head, just racing uncontrollably. He sat up as you started stammering in your words, looking for your jacket, not realizing in your haze of a panic that it was downstairs.

“I-I should– I should go! I– what– yesterday–” Eddie got up from the bed, wearing the same clothes as last night. After you fell asleep on him, he had moved you so he could lay you on his bed, pulling the comforter over you. He had thought of dressing himself for sleep, but he was afraid you would feel even weirder with him having changed into comfortable clothes when you didn’t have the chance. 

He opted to go to the bathroom real quick to wash his hands and relieve himself, to then come back to his room and then he nestled inside of the bed as well, seeing you sleeping peacefully next to him, and just like you did to him this morning, he had traced your face with his fingers, softly and gently, remembering every twitch your face did.

Last night does feel like a lucid dream to him, and he really cannot believe you had let him touch you like that. He couldn’t believe you had let him touch you in a way he’s been craving for a month now. At first he tried to dismiss it, but now he really can’t deny that everything with you is different, so different. He was changing too, not that you knew about it, nobody knew this change in him.

Now, he knew that a line had been crossed, and that you realize that too, and you’re freaking out about it. He doesn’t want the relationship to be different, but he feared that maybe it was too straightforward to do that to you last night. But he just needed to touch you, he absolutely needed to, and he can’t lie to himself and say he doesn’t want more, because hell, he wants so much more.

But right now,

“Angel, look at me.” He rushed to your side as you kept your gaze down, your panicked eyes trying to look anywhere but him. You shouldn’t have let last night happen, because what if he felt obliged to do that with you? What if he pitied you so badly that he felt like doing it? You can’t bear that embarrassment, not with Eddie.

“I-I’m sorry– I’m your friend and–” You stutter out, feeling the air in your lungs slowly fading as you feel your heart beating in your throat. How were you going to look at him? What does this all mean? Friends don’t do the thing you did yesterday, did they? Your head is a mess, and you just want to run away. 

“Yes, you’re my friend, and sweetheart, yesterday was–” He clenched his eyes tightly, the words in his mouth stinging like a thousand needles on it. “I wanted to let you know that there is nothing wrong with you. You can feel good with someone.”

He was in front of you now as you stood in the middle of his bedroom, still staring at the ground, blinking at his words. Did he read your mind yesterday? How easy are you to read? But what you are failing to notice is that it’s just Eddie the one who can read you like this. He loves that fact. Just as he knows how you’re feeling right now, knowing you need reassurance that everything is okay, even if inside of him there was a storm, wanting to yell that he wanted to actually touch you. He wanted to feel you, hear you, hold you and kiss you, all of it. 

“I– Is…” The lump in your throat made you sound so little, so weak, but you had to make sure, because losing Eddie felt like losing a part of yourself now. The thought felt like a punch to the gut, and you didn’t want it to happen, but how does everything go back to how it was?

“Darling, breathe.” His arms were reaching out to you but not touching you, which you didn’t know if you appreciated or not. Your body was burning with anticipation, but anticipation for what? What exactly were you anticipating? Your head doesn’t know, but when you see his hands, the memory of last night comes back again, but not in a way that makes you want to run away. It is rather making you want to lean closer, let him touch you, graze his skin on yours.

You took a few deep breaths, closing your eyes as you put your palms over your face, completely ashamed for what had transpired last night, but you also felt guilty. Guilty for liking it. Guilty for not regretting it. Guilty for desiring. Guilty for wanting more. Why does this hunger and this fire not satiate? Why is it lingering there? Why doesn’t it go away?

But Eddie didn’t seem like he wanted to run away. He wasn’t kicking you out, and in fact he wanted to talk to you, which made your brain slow down, even for a second, trying to register that he wasn’t going anywhere, and that he didn’t want you to go away either.

“I… Eddie– Yesterday–” 

“It’s okay, look at me…” Could you even do that? Your stomach was twirling, almost in nausea as you even imagined the look in his eyes. Suddenly, you felt your wrists being grabbed, gently, very carefully, and it made you jump slightly. The skin where he was touching was burning, but your heart was so grateful for it, and everything became steady, after feeling like the room was spinning on its axis.

He gulped nervously, taking a step closer to you. The only thing in his mind right now, is for you to be okay. He only wants you to be okay, and for you to be able to look at him. He needed you to look at him again, his heart was aching for it, and his gut was contracting in itself each second you didn’t look up. 

So, he was greedy again, guiding you to slowly pull your hands down, uncovering your face, and he cursed at himself for wanting to pull you in, wanting to hold you in his arms but he has to be patient. He wants you, but he has to do it right. You’re not just anybody. 

Not anymore.

“Look at me Angel… It’s just me.” Your bottom lip shook slightly out of nervousness, but you complied, slowly driving your eyes up. First on his black shirt, then his collar and neck, to then finally land on his brown eyes which were looking at you intensely, with worry, same as yours. You had expected your body to flinch away, to run away even more so than before, but it did the entire opposite. Your body relaxed, your gut turned but it was not nauseating as before, and your brain went blank as he gazed down at you. 

You got lost in his eyes, trying to find the regret of what happened last night, trying to find the slight bit of discomfort, but there was none. There was just reassurance, looking at you like he always did, talking to you like he always did, and that made your body lose some of its tension, Eddie noticing it instantly.

“I– I don’t want everything to be weird– I really don’t want to…” Your eyes were teary now, making Eddie’s heart clench as his grip on your wrists tightened slightly from the emotions he was feeling at seeing you like this. His lips curved up in a soft smile, and he shook his head once.

“It isn’t going to be weird… I wanted to show you that there was nothing wrong with you, and I just– I just wanted to help you learn about yourself, help you trust in your body and sensations.” He wanted to chop his tongue off. He helped you, yes, but he wanted to tell you that he liked it too, even if untouched, he loved it, and if you asked, he would do it again. 

“I–” You felt yourself heat up as embarrassment and shame invaded your mind. “I didn’t… I didn’t do…” You gazed down again, not wanting to look at his face. You didn’t even reciprocate anything to him, you just fell asleep right on his shoulder after he made you feel so blissful, after he made you see stars, after he made you tremble for the first time in the hands of someone else.

Eddie’s heart soared as he listened to you, as he saw that you cared, that you indeed thought about him and how he was feeling. He didn’t even expect you to think about giving something back to him, and his body relaxed as he melted towards you, one of his hands letting go of your wrist to slowly rise up towards your cheek. You didn’t even flinch, but you actually pressed your face slightly onto his fingers, at his touch.

“I didn’t expect it. I didn’t want anything back Angel… I was just caring for you last night, okay?” He did want, but he wasn’t going to say that to you. At least not now, because that is not what you needed. Yet, in your head, there was a question that fell at the tip of your tongue at his words. You looked up at him, locking eyes with him again,  but your mouth didn’t open to voice out what you wanted to ask.

Did he not want anything back because he really didn’t expect it from you, or because he didn’t actually want YOU to give anything back to him?

The thought made your skin grow goosebumps, mind whirling at the thought of some type of rejection. Why did you feel like that? Why did you feel like he just said something hurtful to you? Why did you suddenly feel unwanted? Undesired? 

“And… And us? Does this… make everything–” His palm was now resting on your cheek as he stared down at you, the smile still on his lips, very small, subtle, but yet so emotional and caring, that it made your heart jump at the sight.

“It doesn’t make it awkward… I promise… Which reminds me–” He put his hand down and your other wrist was let go of, making you almost sigh at the loss of contact, wanting to gravitate towards him again. “I don’t think our private dances from yesterday should go unpaid, and as I recall, you make the best fucking pancakes ever, and I’m dying for a chocolate chip one.” 

The tension left your shoulders as he talked, a small smile spreading on your lips, watching him straight up with his arms over his chest. You copied his stance, squinting up at him in defiance which made him raise his eyebrows up, hiding behind some of his messy fringe.

“I believe I never actually ASKED for those dances. You guys were very greedy for just one dollar.” You say and he glared down at you before shooting his arm up, poking you on the side, causing you to flinch and giggle, the butterflies exploding in your stomach, and again, they were not on the nauseating side.

“You make some pancakes or…” You raised a questioning eyebrow at his words.

“Or?”

“I’ll start saying mistaken facts about Harry Potter. Like, for example, Harry Potter and the prisoner of alcatraz was a masterpiece.” You winced at the mistaken title, but you knew he was doing it on purpose. He had let you rant talking about Harry Potter for one whole evening through a video call. He just started asking questions to you, and you didn’t even know that he did that just to hear you talk.

He loved hearing you talk when you were excited, when you were confident in the topic, when you were passionate and loving about it, but he also loved the fact that you cared for his interests too. So one day was Harry Potter, and the next day was Dungeons and Dragons. He had explained to you as easily as possible but you were learning pretty quickly and you retained information like a champ. 

And as he liked to hear you talk, you liked to hear him.

“Okay, I’ll make the pancakes, so shut up.” You say to him with a shake of your head and he grinned widely at you, knowing he got away with what he wanted, which weren’t the pancakes. He got you to loosen up again, and when you turned around to open the door, a sigh of relief escaped his lips, soft and you weren’t able to hear it. 

You tiptoed out of the room, followed by Eddie and you immediately heard the loud snoring from the living room. You giggled while looking back at him and he was just smiling, shaking his head. You walked down the stairs, as quietly as you could, and you saw Robin, now looking up, splayed on the floor over the fluffy carpet as Steve used her tummy as a pillow, in the position of a starfish. 

You covered your mouth as you approached them, trying to hold in the laughter. Eddie was next to you after a second, having retrieved his phone from the kitchen counter, and he pulled up the camera to take a picture of the two people on the floor. He was going to keep this and show his brother, because the little shit idolized Steve for a reason, and he never knew why.

He wanted to break that enchantment.

“I bet they’ll wake up at the smell of food.” You whisper and he smirks, shaking his head.

“Steve needs a bucket of ice water to wake up from a hangover.” You grinned and turned your head to look at him, biting your bottom lip. Eddie had to hold back from swallowing, the blood rushing south immediately.

“Wanna bet?”

“A dollar.” He put his hand inside his front pocket and took out the wrinkled dollar you stuffed in there last night. The memory came back like a flash, making you flush all over as the butterflies turned into hungry wolves.

“Deal.” You immediately turned around, trying to hide away from him, but he had already seen your reaction. His chest puffed with hope as he followed you towards the kitchen, and he was next to you in a second, helping you get everything for the pancakes. 

Then, the scene turned quite domestic, and normal. Way too normal, and easy, as if it were a puzzle just putting itself together in a perfect match. You beat the eggs, he preheated the pan, he poured the flour in, then mixed for you to start making your batch of pancakes, sprinkling the chocolate chips on top. 

“You had to put the chocolate chips inside the batter.” Eddie growled as you shook your head at his whine. You flipped your pancake and looked to your side and up at him.

“Last time I prepared them like this and you didn’t complain.” You say to him, and you remember that afternoon almost everyday. You came with Robin because Steve invited her over, and said that if you wanted to join, that it was okay. You didn’t have any other plans, and the thought of probably seeing Eddie urged you to come over. 

Twenty minutes after your arrival, Eddie and Billy stumbled inside the apartment, groaning as they complained they hadn’t eaten anything for the past 3 hours, and dancing was not helping them. So Robin, sweet Robin, thought it was a great idea to tell them that you prepared killer pancakes.

You cooked 22 pancakes that afternoon.

“It’s because I didn’t see you making them. I was showering and getting myself pretty and presentable.” He says with a teasing smile on his face and you shake your head, putting one of the last pancakes on the plate. 

“Steve, get the fuck up, I smell pancakes.” You grinned widely at Robin’s voice, looking back over your shoulder, Eddie following your motion, putting his fist over his mouth to hold in his laughter as Robin pushed Steve off her and the poor man groaned almost in pain as he sat up. His hair was completely messed up, and Robin’s wasn’t far behind. They had two bird’s nests on their heads.

“Morning.” Eddie says and you look at him, putting your hand out. He raised an eyebrow up at you.

“Pay up.” You say and he scoffs, shaking his head at you.

“I don’t think so. Robin woke up, then made Steve wake– Oh.” You smirked up at him and he bit his bottom lip, yet a smile was on his face as he looked down at you. He definitely felt the change. The bantering before was light hearted, but now, there was this hidden elastic band that was stretching out, slowly, further and further.

“Exactly.” You drifted your eyes towards his lips, just for a second, and then back at his eyes. You were feeling it still, that pooling heat at the bottom of your belly, trying to tell you something which you weren’t sure of. He put his hand into his front pocket again, and slapped the bill on top of your hand. 

“This seems rigged, sweetheart.” He whispered towards you as he put his face closer to yours, glaring at you in a playful manner. Something took over you, something that snapped in your gut, in your mind, a sense of confidence that you never felt before, leaning towards him as well, your face closer to his.

His eyes went wide as you got closer, the tension suddenly rising in between the both of you, not expecting you to mimic his movements at all, but his heartbeat was on his ears, his throat going dry as your breath mixed with his, and he felt the palms on his hands sweating, almost heavily.

“I just outsmarted you.” You leaned back, putting batter onto the pan again, looking as if you hadn’t just turned Eddie into a mess, his mind reeling at how close you got by your own accord, his blood burning into his veins as he kept staring at you, completely dazed. 

Did you even know you did that?

“I need a fucking Advil, or something to end my suffering.” You hear Steve grumpily say with a huff. Eddie snapped out, looking over at his friend, who was now sitting on the couch with an arm over his eyes, probably to avoid the intense light from pouring through his eyelids. He sighed, passing behind you but his greediness got the best of him, and he decided to test the waters.

He put his hands in the small of your back and hips, gently, to push you forward so he could walk between you and the counter, even if he had enough space to do so, but he just needed to touch you. You stiffened slightly, shivers being sent to the tip of your toes, a wave of flames engulfing your entire body as he passed behind you.

And you didn’t see it, but a smirk formed on his lips as he walked away from you.

You took a sharp intake of breath, looking at his broad back, going into the bathroom to probably look for some Advil at Steve’s request. You knew your breath had quickened and that your heart was tugging at your chest, trying to move you towards him, but your thoughts were cut off by Robin who rested her chin onto your right shoulder, looking down at the pan.

“It’s burning.” Your eyes widened, looking at the pancake and flipping it over quickly, and Robin had been right. It was almost black on the other side. You groaned as you heard some steps coming down the stairs. 

“Morning.” You heard Billy say, Robin lifting her head up to look at him, giving him a nod and hoarse ‘morning’ only for her eyes to turn at Eddie’s return and hearing the pill bottle in his hand and a glass of water on the other. He walked towards Steve and Robin followed right behind, trying to snatch the pill bottle from Eddie.

You tipped the last pancake onto the plate, grimacing at it with disgust at the failure as Billy stood next to you, getting hold of it, taking a rough bite making your eyes widen at him.

“Billy, it’s hot!” You say to him with worried eyes and he blows the smoke out up at the ceiling. He swallowed after three bites and shook his head with a wince.

“I just needed food, my stomach is a fucking mess.” You sighed, turning off the heat and putting all the utensils you used in the sink to wash. You grabbed the sponge as you began cleaning, Billy still next to you as he kept eating the burnt pancake. “At least I don’t have a headache like those two.”

You turned your head to see Eddie sighing heavily as he rubbed Steve’s back while sitting next to him, Robin slumped on the arm chair, staring at the ceiling, and Eddie probably trying to make him swallow his vomit, making you wince in disgust again and turn your attention back to the dishes. If Steve barfed, you didn’t really want to see it.

“That’s what you all get for drinking too much.” You say to Billy, which made him chuckle, finishing the pancake that was in his hands. 

“Did you have fun last night?”

You almost dropped the bowl onto the sink at the words that came out of his mouth. Your body went stiff, feeling a cold sweat all over, as your belly turned with nervousness and embarrassment. Did he know? Did he hear? 

“I– Uh…”

“I mean, did you forget about your awful date? You were laughing so I assumed you did.” You gave a sigh out of relief, returning to clean the bowl in your hand. He was talking generally, making your shoulders lose the stiffness once more.

“Yeah, I had fun. Thank you.” You gave him a smile as he took the last piece of pancake into his mouth, and nodded at you, grabbing the plate with a stack of those delicious chocolate chip pancakes you made, heading over towards the group. 

You continued cleaning the utensils which weren’t a lot, to then dry your hands, walking towards them, catching Eddie as he stuffed his face with the third pancake in a row. Steve was looking at him with disgust but Billy was trying to coarse a piece into his mouth. Robin was pitifully eating one, groaning at each bite. 

You grabbed one of your pancakes, and even if the space between the armrest and him was little, you walked towards it, sitting in between. Eddie scooched a little bit, fighting back the grin that wanted to spread on his lips. You, once again, came to him. He bumped his knee against yours as he munched on his pancake, and you reciprocated, bumping it back. 

You giggled as Steve kept trying to push Billy’s pancake away, and the blonde finally gave up, eating the pancake himself, flipping Steve off as he walked to get some water for himself in the kitchen. You finished your breakfast and looked at Robin who was still groaning, her hangover taking all over her body and you sighed.

“We should go. Robin might vomit all over if we stay here a minute longer.” You say, trying to not let your voice sound desperate to stay. Desperate to be here a little bit longer. Desperate to stay with him, just one more minute. You look at Eddie and he sighs, giving you a nod.

“Yeah, Stevie here is not looking good either… Seriously, what did you guys drink last night? Poison?”

“Definitely.” Steve says and he regrets it the minute he does, because opening his mouth made the breath intake swirl in his stomach, and he immediately shot up from his place, rushing towards the bathroom to finally hurl everything out of his system. Eddie, Billy and you shared a look and then at Robin.

“Please, take me home.” Robin says and you nod, getting up from the couch and heading over to put on your heels, and your jacket. Eddie got up as well, holding in a breath at the sight of your legs in the morning light that's shining through the blinds. 

Legs that trembled under his touch last night.

“Come on Robs.” You walked over to her, both of your purses on one hand while the other stretched towards her. She groaned but grabbed it either way and you pulled her up, and she almost knocked you over as she stumbled forward. Eddie was behind you in a heartbeat, pressing his front on your back, as you pushed Robin on steady feet.

“Whoa, the last thing I need is a trip to the hospital today.” You hear him say behind you, and his hands were pressing on your arms, holding you, and your belly wanted to scream, tell him to keep holding you, or yell at him to move his hands, to satiate the hunger.

More.

You pulled away from him when you saw Robin almost falling again and you rushed to her side, pulling her arm over your shoulder. All the heat was gone in an instant as worry flashed in your face, Steve’s vomiting echoing in the room and you felt Robin’s body tense as she gagged and you gasped, looking at Eddie alarmingly.

“We need to go, I will babysit Robin all day.” You say to him and he nods, rushing towards the door to hold it open for you.

“I’ll push the button for the lobby, go before she paints the walls green Angel.” You give him a nod as Robin lurches forward, another gag rushing through her body and you winced, walking towards the door. The ache in your belly reappeared as you looked at him again. Your lips were tingling, and you cursed the fact that you had to hold Robin up because you just wanted to hug him goodbye, or kiss his cheek. 

“I’ll– I’ll talk to you later, okay?” You say but don’t move from your place, almost as if waiting for something. His features softened as he gulped a nervous lump in his throat, leaning down to press a kiss on your forehead, very fast, soft, yet burning as if he lingered there for a while.

“Yeah, I’ll talk to you later sweetheart.” You were stuck to the ground, your heart not wanting to move as you looked at him, and the only thing that made you return to your senses, was Robin’s gagging once more. You groaned as you walked out and headed towards the elevator, which was gladly already at your floor. 

Eddie gave you a small wave and you returned it with a smile, finally disappearing into the elevator, the doors closing as Eddie closed the one of his apartment. He heard Steve again, and he wondered how much more he had in his stomach, because it felt never ending.

With a sigh, he walked towards the fridge, getting the water out to fill a glass for himself, and one for Steve. Billy was eating a pancake next to him, his hip resting against the counter, and Eddie froze, putting the water bottle on the counter, his head slowly turning to look at Billy.

“Weren’t you sleeping on the couch last night?” Billy nodded and then shrugged, looking at the pancake in his hand.

“Got up in the middle of the night, wanted to sleep on my bed.” His blue eyes finally looked up at Eddie’s, a pair of shocked brown orbs staring at his friend’s face as if he were a ghost. Billy smirked, taking a bite out of his pancake again, grabbing the glass of water for Steve, walking behind Eddie to head to the toilet, but not before he whispered into his ear the same question he asked you before.

“Did you have fun last night?”

You took off your work headphones, finally finishing the meeting and work for the day. You sighed heavily, looking up at the ceiling. It had been some heavy days of work, but gladly you had asked for two days off, one being tomorrow, Thursday, and then Friday, giving you an extended weekend.

You stood up from your chair, turning the laptop off, shutting the top, and finally taking a deep breath. You smiled as you walked towards your kitchen, getting a glass and your bottle of wine. It was already opened, so you just took the cork off and poured yourself until it was halfway full. 

Austin talked to you this afternoon, asking for a second date. You didn’t even hesitate when you declined it politely. It was hard to do so, asking Robin for advice on how to do it, but being honest was the best option. You told him you just didn’t feel it that way, and he kindly understood or that’s what you could read from the texts on the work chat.

If he was mad, he didn’t show it.

You took a sip out of your glass as your phone vibrated and you looked down at it to see Eddie sending you a direct message on Instagram. Probably a meme. You smiled slightly at it, but then it immediately fell and you took a large sip out of your glass this time, as you felt the knots in your belly turning at his message, but there was also some sort of frustration behind it.

At first you didn’t know why you felt it. Sunday he had messaged you about his lunch and what he was going to wear for work that night. Monday, he video called you to tell you that he bought a new expansion for his DnD game, while he wore a tight turtleneck. Tuesday, he was excitedly telling you about his uncle Wayne coming to visit soon, and how Eddie wants you to meet him. And now, today, he’s been sending you memes all day, as if nothing ever happened between you two.

And that was what was driving you insane.

You had almost ripped your brain cells trying to figure out what was happening or why you felt this way, wanting to tell Robin but for some reason you just wanted to keep this to yourself. This is a very confusing feeling, not knowing what is happening, and much less towards a friend.

But you also wondered why Eddie had been so nonchalant about all of this, about everything, and you couldn’t help but want that shift that you felt on Sunday morning. The soft touches that weren’t always there, the small playful bantering, and the closeness. God, the closeness. You shivered every time you remembered his skin on yours, his lips on yours, on your neck, which you noticed as soon as you left Robin at her apartment that you had a few marks on there, very subtle, but still there. 

They were now gone, and you found yourself mourning those marks. Did he want to mark you again? Would he touch you again? Kiss you again? Make you feel good again? And even so, you didn’t feel embarrassed or nervous about that situation anymore, because it was replaced with an anxious feeling, with a feeling of anticipation, with a feeling of ‘What will happen next? Will there be a next time like this?’.

And after your night with Eddie, you found the burning even more unbearable than before, and electric shocks were added into it too. You tried, you really tried to make yourself feel good just like he showed you, but every time you closed your eyes, the memory of his fingers came back, as well as the kissing on your neck, and not even a vibrator could compare. 

Your thoughts were cut off when your phone started vibrating wildly, and you looked over to see Eddie calling you through video. Butterflies exploded in your belly, nervousness filling you up and you cursed at yourself for not putting on a single gram of make up today. You glanced at your reflection in your toaster, wincing as you fixed your hair a bit, putting some strands in front of your face. It was all you could do.

You grabbed your phone and slid on the screen to answer Eddie’s call. His head popped up, his curls tight on a bun on top of his head and you could only see from the bridge of his nose, and up, as he wiggled his eyebrows up and down onto the camera, making you snort, looking away from the screen. You heard him laugh as he pulled the phone away from him, showing his entire face to you.

“Hello there Angel.” You heard his voice and your eyes immediately found his through the communication device, seeking him out again as your pet name was said.

“Hi Eddie. What are you doing?” You asked and he shrugged, giving you an offended fake look.

“I can’t call my favorite girl in the whole world just cause I feel like it?” His favorite girl in the world. His girl. You knew you blushed at those words, giving a huff as you looked towards the glass on your counter and distract yourself from the aching heat that was already beginning to spread. You held onto the glass and took a sip of it, putting it down to look back at him.

“I bet you could have texted me about it.” You didn’t deny his advance at you. In fact, you didn’t deny any of the advances he did on you this week. Showing you what he was going to wear for the night at the club? Putting on a tight turtleneck that would surely show off his pecs to you? Tell you he wanted you to meet his Uncle? He knew it was selfish, and he knew it was risky, but you had actually shown reciprocation that made him smile in victory. You were very brief with his work clothes selection, making small ‘hms’ and ‘that’s good’ as if you were not liking what you were seeing. You complimented him on his black turtleneck, telling him it looked great on him and that he should wear it more often. And then, you told him you couldn’t wait to meet his uncle, so that’s why today, Eddie, has reached a boiling point.

“I thought a call would be quicker, sorry for interrupting your lonely drinking session.” He jokingly replied to you which made you roll your eyes. He licked his lips as he took a deep breath in, his throat closing in on him as he looked at the screen. He stripped for a living, almost completely naked, and talking to you made him more nervous than he’d ever been before.

“Right, so, what is it? I got a glass of wine and some Kirby to play.” You say to him, and his chest warmed at the thought of you, just playing on your switch, while he played on his, both on the couch. He would be resting against the back of the couch while you rested your head on his lap, showing him your accomplishments on your game. And that thought, that small little image in his head, made him finally talk.

“I got the day off tomorrow as well actually.” You raised your head to look at him again, and Eddie sucked in another breath, feeling the palm holding the phone tensing and sweating up, but he can try to play it cool. He always did. “So, I was wondering if you wanted to go to that bar near your apartment, I am missing how they prepare the Negroni there–” 

“Yes.”

Silence. Both of you were stunned at how quick you responded. You didn’t even process it, you didn’t even think about it, you didn’t even hesitate. Your whole body had a sudden cold sweat, and you almost dropped to the floor in embarrassment but Eddie finally recovered himself, straightening up as if you hadn’t just accepted going out on a date with him so casually. Well, he didn’t tell you it was a date, but he kind of hoped it was.

“Okay then! Someone’s excited to keep drinking it seems.” He had to lighten up the mood, he had to make you laugh again, lose the tension on your shoulders, and that he did. You giggled through your burning cheeks, your heart beating into your ears, but happiness was replacing your embarrassment, followed by excitement. Was it a date? Or was this just two friends getting together to have a drink? Or maybe you weren’t even going to be alone, maybe he invites Billy if he has his day off or something.

“I just– I don’t have plans for tomorrow, okay?” You say to him hiding your face behind the big glass of wine, and he couldn’t help but smile at you, dimples and all, making your stomach explode with so many things that you couldn’t even name them all. 

“Okay, alright, fine. I’ll just park near your apartment and we can go walking from there.” Your heart soared at that. Austin had told you to simply meet him there, when Eddie wasn’t, not only picking you up, but offered to go walking, and you hoped that it was because he wanted to spend more time with you. And you were right.

“Alright. Can I go play Kirby now?” You needed to hang up, you needed to yell, you needed to jump around with excitement, not being able to contain yourself for much longer. He was feeling the burning sensation on his face now too, so he clenched his other hand on the bed, tightly to hold his emotions in.

“Go play your stupid Kirby, I’ll see you tomorrow Angel.” You gave him a nod, putting your glass down to be able to send him a soft smile, and his eyes almost bulged out of his sockets when you bit your bottom lip, very subtly.

“See you tomorrow Eds.” You hung up and Eddie was staring blankly at the screen. You had accepted his invitation, rapidly, no doubt there, sure you were embarrassed and he could see it, but it meant… God, it meant you were letting go. A wide smile spread on his lips, teeth showing as he threw the phone on his bed, his arms raising towards the ceiling as he plopped backwards, falling onto his mattress with a laugh.

You weren’t far behind on his excitement, putting the phone on the counter before you did small little jumps in the same place you stood, a wide grin spreading on your cheeks. You weren’t this excited when Austin asked you out, and even if you didn’t know if Eddie meant it that way, you realized that if it was indeed a date, you didn’t mind. 

You didn’t mind. Oh my god… You didn’t mind.

Realization hits you like a brick to the face. It couldn’t be that, could it? He is your friend, someone who helped you all along this journey to find yourself, it’s impossible to feel– feel this for someone you consider a friend right? Well not impossible, but it shouldn’t happen, because he obviously doesn’t see you like that. He is just inviting you out to a bar to drink with his friend.

You were just excited to see Eddie, nothing more. But the anticipation was there again. What were you anticipating to happen? Your feelings were not cooperating with what your brain knows, so you cannot even describe what was going on inside of you. When did this shift happen with Eddie? This didn’t happen before, did it? You can’t remember now, because the present was just blurring everything from the past month.

You grabbed your glass of wine again, taking another sip, and the heat was all over your body again. You were going insane not knowing what was happening to you, and that leads you to stomp towards your living room, and take your Switch out of its charging dock, and plopping onto your couch, the glass on the coffee table.

You just needed to distract yourself. Eddie is a friend, and you are going to the bar as friends.

You walked out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around your body, with a shocked expression on your face. 

You just wanted to be tidy, that’s all, feel clean. So, you shaved again, even if you shaved last week, you did it again. But it was all to feel clean, you liked that soothing feeling, your smooth legs and everywhere else. You looked at your full length mirror, scanning your body and the back of your legs if they were properly shaved. It isn’t the first time you shaved when seeing Eddie, but it is the first time you shaved your private parts. 

You shook your head, trying not to think too much about it, as well as the building heat in your belly. You double tapped your phone that was on your night table to look at the time. 5 PM. You had time, okay. You walked over to your closet and opened the underwear drawer, looking through your panties and bras to finally land on something you hadn’t opened yet.

The black laced lingerie set.

Why were you even considering it? Why were you even thinking about putting that on? It was Eddie, just Eddie… Sweet Eddie. You can’t put that on, because it wasn’t what this was. It wasn’t that at all. You grabbed your white set, the cotton pair and you sighed heavily with a nod, pushing the drawer closed. 

You stepped away to throw the set onto the bed but you stopped midway. You looked towards the drawer again. There was something inside of you that was tugging you towards it again, your mind wanting to go against it, but it felt as if it were an impulse, not being able to control it. 

Why can't you control it? You’ve always been able to control your feelings, so what was this? Why is it always frustratingly there? Why doesn’t it ever go away and why is it always there with Eddie? Your body moved to the drawer again, taking the black lace set out and immediately throwing your towel away, stepping onto the thong first, which you almost never used, and then putting on the bra, with embroidery stitched onto it, the edges of it a nice thin lace that stuck to your skin.

You walked towards the mirror again to stare at yourself, the burning sensation returning to your body as a thought appeared in your head. Your eyes widened, slowly, walking towards your reflection to touch the crystal with your fingertips.

You wanted him to see it.

You didn’t think of wearing this set with Austin, and in fact you were saving it for a serious relationship, when you had spent months building the trust and the confidence between one another… Yet, with Eddie you already had all of that. It was always there. It had always been there, and you realized at this very moment, just what was happening.

It had occurred to you many times, that the feeling inside of you was something you never felt before. Something Eddie mentioned that night, and that you didn’t know how to describe it to him. Something that shouldn't happen with friends, and you knew that, that’s why you had been denying it all along, because admitting it would only lead to pain.

You were attracted to Eddie. Painfully so.

Oh fuck… You sat on the bed, looking towards the floor as the butterflies exploded in your belly, your heart beating into your ears, a buzzing noise filling your brain as you tried to think, tried to put your feelings back together, but all you could think about was him. His touch, his scent, his eyes, his lips, his voice, his tattoos, and–

You wanted to see more. So much more. 

You weren’t hiding yourself at the thought of seeing more, not like you did before, not like the nervous and anxious panicked self you were before, because the difference from those times is that you weren’t sure of what you wanted. You weren’t sure if you could do some stuff. You weren’t sure if you would look nice. You weren’t sure if he would enjoy himself with you…

But you remembered that night, and you couldn’t help but hope, wish that he in fact felt the same way, the same attraction you felt for him. You covered your face as flames invaded your cheeks and towards your ears. You were desperate, and it was the first time you were experiencing it. You wanted him to the point of not being sure if you could control yourself with him. Not anymore.

What are you going to do now with this realization? You want his friendship yet you don’t. You want this to not be a date, yet you want it to. You aren’t anticipating anything, yet you are. And there it was, the anticipation of wanting him to do something. The need for him to not act like nothing happened last weekend. The need for him to show you he wants you as much as you want him.

But what if your mind is creating this idealization of him that is not true? What if he doesn’t really want you? What if it is just your brain creating that fantasy that he does just so you could feel good about yourself? It can happen, right? But, fuck, he was hard that night, but men get hard with everything and anything, and you knew that much. 

“Oh god…” You took a few deep breaths in, feeling your chest just palpitating and you were sure you were going into a cardiac arrest. You got up from the bed and shook your hands as you paced back and forth in your room, breathing deeply and exhaling, trying to calm your nerves as they started settling in your body.

Stop thinking. Stop thinking. Stop thinking.

He even taught you this. You think too much, you dwell too much on the infinite possibilities on how something might go, when the only thing you have to do is let yourself go, just like you did that night with him, as well as when you let him kiss you almost a month ago. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror again, stopping on your tracks. Just act like you normally do, don’t let it show, but it was impossible. What if he put an innocent hand on the small of your back just like he did when you were cooking pancakes? That touch, that simple and soft touch almost made you lose your mind. How can you possibly do this? How are you going to act now that you know? Should you tell Robin? No, there’s no time, she doesn’t even know you and Eddie kissed, she would absolutely flip and you need to get ready.

The weather was still warm but chilly when the wind blew, so laid out on the bed was a nice long sleeved black dress that reached your mid thigh, there was no cleavage, but your collarbones showed on the collar of it. It was a casual dress, but it wasn’t. You groaned now that you realize you had been anticipating everything about going out with Eddie tonight. 

The shaving, the dress, the lingerie, the excitement of him inviting you to a bar, the perfume you were going to use, the makeup you were going to do on yourself, the hairstyle you looked a tutorial for, the accessories you were going to use and the small heels you were going to wear. Was it all too much? What if he is casual, in some jeans and a band T-Shirt and you make him feel bad about it?

Okay, maybe change the heels for some sneakers and don’t overdo the makeup. You can do that, you have to be more casual. What if he sees through you? What if he thinks you got attracted to him right after he touched you? Will he think you are delusional? That just because he kissed you and touched you meant he wanted more with you? 

What did more mean?

You jumped on the spot when your alarm rang, making your eyes go wide. You had set the alarm to go off at 5:30 PM and you realized you had been walking all around and thinking for half an hour. Precious time you needed to get ready. You rushed to your vanity desk to start pulling out everything you needed for your makeup and hair. 

The time went on as you got ready, your nervousness building more and more as each minute passed. You were nervous, but it was a good nervous, as well as excited but terrified. You slid on your sneakers and looked at yourself in the mirror again. Your hair was down, but neat, a little bit styled, more than usual, but not overdoing it. Your makeup was kept simple, neutral eyeshadows with a tinge of black, with your eyeliner and mascara. Your lips were a natural red tone, a lip tint. 

You looked at your phone and it marked it was 6:42 PM. Your hands started sweating as you began to pace around the room again. It was almost time, and you were trying to regulate your breathing. This wasn’t a stranger, it was Eddie, but the turn of your belly was way worse than any other time you were with another man. 

Just act normal. Like always. It’s just a night out, with your friend, no funny business. But fuck, if there is no funny business, why did you get dressed like this? Your phone vibrated and you rushed towards it to see Eddie’s message. 

‘Arrived a little early 😅’

A smile spread on your lips, long gone was the fear you felt seconds ago, replaced by adrenaline as you sprayed more perfume on the back of your ears, grabbing onto your purse and sliding the phone inside as well as the small tube of gloss just in case you want to reapply. 

You grabbed your keys and rushed out of your house, locking after you left and you slipped into the elevator as fast as you could, pressing onto the bottom floor quickly until the doors closed. You looked at yourself in the mirrors of the wall of the elevator and fixed your hair again, giving one small nod as you waited for the doors to open again. Once they did, you walked out and out of the glass doors of the lobby, you could already see him.

Shit.

He was wearing that tight turtleneck black t-shirt you saw on him the other day, his black leather jacket on top, ripped black jeans, with his handcuff belt on his waist. He was looking to the side as he rested on the street lamp waiting for you. His hair was up in a bun, small strands falling around his face, and you felt your knees wobble slightly. 

He dressed up, in the same manner you did.

You gulped and punched the nervous lumps down your throat, walking towards the door and finally opening it. His head immediately snapped at the sound, and he had a smile on his face, ready to greet you, only for his breath to be knocked out of his lungs as if someone had kicked him on his chest cavity. 

He was absolutely stunned as he scanned your outfit, and he was sure that you were trying to kill him. He didn’t expect you to put on a dress for him, and he didn’t expect you to come out as quickly as you did. He also didn’t expect the perfume you were using, and he just was not prepared to see you like this. You were always beautiful, but now that you made yourself look good for this outing with him had his heart in his throat.

Do you even realize what you do to him or are you completely unaware of it? 

“Hi Eds!” Your cheery voice broke him out of his trance, finally feeling a cold sweat invade his feet, all blood leaving them to rush north, making him curse inwardly at himself. 

“Hey Angel.” He leaned away from the lamp post, and your heart soared when he reached out to you to pull you into a hug, face planting on his chest. You were afraid he could feel your heart against him, but you could definitely hear his. It was rather quick for its normal pace, but you guessed that maybe he walked to get to your door, having parked around the corner or something. 

Your arms wrapped around his waist and god he wanted to push you into your complex again, just go to your apartment and spend alone time with you instead of going into a bar with other people. But that would be too dangerous, being alone with you was not good for his own heart, nor his body, not when he had already heard you, tasted you, touched you.

He pulled away from you after taking a deep breath from your perfume, keeping his arm around your shoulders as he guided you to start walking the three blocks towards the bar. He was more nervous than he thought he’d be, but he had to stay calm, try to not show you how his hands were slightly trembling with the need to pull you into a kiss, or an even deeper hug.

You didn’t expect the arm to rest there, setting your body on fire as you started taking the first steps towards the bar. Your voice for some reason was caught in your throat as you looked at the floor. Talk to him, say something, anything at all. You raised your head up to ask him about this day off but your eyes caught onto the dark clouds that were coming from the distance.

“Eds, do I go get my umbrella? Just in case.” You say while pointing at said clouds. He looked over and indeed saw them, but he shrugged with a shake of his head. 

“Nah, it didn’t say it was going to rain. I bet it will just go around or it will be very little rain, we’ll be fine.” He says as if he were a meteorologist and you rolled your eyes at him, still staring at the clouds as you both walked.

“So those big black clouds it’s just a sprinkle of rain. That’s what you’re trying to tell me.” You say to him and he looks at you with a wide smile to his face, his arm falling from your shoulder, and your chest contracted in itself, missing the touch and the pressure that it had created. 

“I am an expert with weather. If you take a sniff, there’s no rain smell! It’s common sense sweetheart.” 

And that’s how you both arrived at the bar, bantering at Eddie’s poor sense of instinct but you still trusted him with not going back for an umbrella. It was the same bar you met Austin at, and when you both entered Eddie guided you to a similar booth, letting you both sit next to each other instead of in front of one another. 

You gulped and took a deep breath in as you slid into the booth, him sitting right next to you. This… This looked like a date, didn’t it? It had to be, but he didn’t say it was, so maybe it isn’t, but you want it to be. Should you ask? But it’s too early, maybe ask that at the very end just in case you make everything awkward between the two of you. Maybe you’re just–

“You’re thinking again.” He says and you look to your side and at him, a nervous heat engulfing you from being caught red handed. You had to think of something, anything at all.

“It was just a very stressful three days at work. Had to leave everything completely tidy for these two days I’ll be gone.” It was actually the truth, you weren’t lying, but you did lie about this being the thing you were thinking about, and you felt slightly guilty about that.

“Wow, they really can’t go without you sweetheart.” You shrugged at that as the waitress came over to get your order which was a rum and coke for Eddie and a beer for you, with a side of fries. 

“Yeah, I also had a nervous attack yesterday.” You didn’t even register what you said until it was out of your mouth. He raised an eyebrow at you, worry displayed on his face as he put a hand on your shoulder, making you look at him.

“Nervous? What happened?” Your eyes widened slightly and you cleared your throat, looking down at the table again, biting your bottom lip nervously. There it was again. You do not want to tell Eddie about another man. How stupid you were before for not realizing this. 

“I uh– Austin asked to go on a second date.” You began and he immediately tensed up, his stomach dropping as his shoulders fell slightly. “But I panicked because I didn’t know how to say no… So I called Robin completely crazy, and she– You wanna know what she fucking suggested?” You turned to look at him and his mood immediately lifted up as he heard you rejected the other man. For a second there he thought you had said yes.

“What did she suggest?” He says, putting his elbow on the table, his head resting on his hand as he looks at you. 

“She suggested that I tell him I am actually an undercover agent, trying to look into company secrets and that I was just using him.” Eddie snorted, followed by a chuckle and shaking his head while you giggled at Robin’s stupid suggestions, telling him one by one, making the laughter increase between you two, until Eddie’s laughter ceased but he kept a smile to his face.

“And what did you actually tell him?” He asked and you were just staring at him. He was absolutely beautiful, and your heart was trying to tug you into him, grab his face and pull him towards you, kiss him, wrap your arms around him. You sighed and shrugged at him.

“That I just felt like it was more of a friendship thing than something more.” At that Eddie’s heart soared, and the question was at the tip of the tongue. Did you feel that with him too? God, he really wanted to know. The waitress finally came back with your order and Eddie straightened up, thanking her as she placed the drinks and the food on the table.

You immediately launched to take a fry into your mouth and Eddie smiled as he watched you. Before, you would have waited until he got the first bite, because you didn’t want to seem desperate for food, and you were very tidy with it too. You took fries with your fork before, and now you’re dipping in with your hands. 

He was just hoping you were like this with him. Just him.

The two of you fell into your natural talk, even if nervous, even if anxious, it was always so easy to talk. So easy, that you were already on your second drink, asking him if his uncle was coming soon or not.

“Actually, yeah, maybe in a week. I am so fucking excited, it’s been way too long since I’ve last seen him, Claudia and the little shit.” He says with a laugh as he takes another sip of his rum and coke. You giggled at how he referred to his little brother, but you knew he cared deeply for him, still calling him three times a week to know how he is, and sometimes to help Dustin write a campaign of his own. “Still want you to meet him.”

You blushed at that, but you felt yourself growing excited at the thought of meeting part of his family, and that he wants you to. He really wants to introduce you to his Uncle, his father figure. His eyes were on you, body fully turned to face you, your own in the same manner. You smiled up at him, moving your head in a small nod.

“Can’t wait to meet him.” 

His arm was over the backrest of the booth, his hand resting right next to you. Your eyes locked with his and that need for him to wrap his arm around you came back. His fingers finally softly touched your shoulder, slow small circles being drawn with the tip of them and you shivered, feeling the goosebumps go all over your body at this small bit of touch from him.

Eddie’s eyes almost widened when he saw something different in the way you were looking at him. Did you even know what you were doing? Looking at him with your pupils a little bit wider than they were before, your fingers on the glass fidgeting, as if trying to do something with them but not having the strength to do it. Oh, everything changed. It definitely changed.

He moved one inch, just one towards you, but his cell phone started vibrating non stop, making him curse under his breath, pulling his arm away from the backrest to face the phone on the table. You didn’t realize that you weren’t breathing, releasing the air that was jailed up in your lungs. You almost reached for him. You almost leaned in, just out of impulse, out of craving. What have you become? 

“Fucking christ.” He swipes the phone screen to reject the call and that makes you snap out and look at him with a confused look in your face.

“Who was it?”

“The little–” The phone began vibrating again, and Eddie groaned while throwing his head back, grabbing his phone and answering the video call. 

“Eddie, what the fuck! This is important and you haven’t been answering my texts!” You hear the other voice say and you look at the screen, seeing it was Dustin, Eddie’s brother. He raised his head to look at the camera with an angry look on his face and his little brother simply rolled his eyes at him. “What are you doing so important you can’t answer me?”

“Does it look and sound like I’m home, you fucker?” You giggled, covering your mouth with your hand to stifle it but Dustin heard it, a smirk appearing in his face.

“Are you on a date?” 

Oh that made Eddie blush, and your giggle ceased again. The thing you both didn’t ask or say, and now you wondered what Eddie was going to say. You gulped, looking up at him and his eyes were already on you. You were waiting for him to answer, you were giving him the option of letting this evening be a friendly one, or something more. 

His heart was on his ears as he felt his gut turning with nervousness, but now, he felt hopeful that this feeling was not one sided. If you let him choose, it’s because you wondered if he had asked you out as a friend or not. He opened his mouth to answer but was cut off by Dustin, who gasped, making Eddie’s head turn back to him.

“Is it her?” Dustin suddenly says your name and your eyes widen slightly, while Eddie blushes with a roll of his eyes, followed by a nod of his head. “I wanna meet her!”

“What, no! I’m–” 

“I just wanna ask her what house she is in!” And that caught your attention, making you sit up straight and snatch Eddie’s phone out of his hand. He groaned again, a little bit pissed that Dustin completely ruined the moment, and now he was butting in, on the date he didn’t say it was, but it definitely was.

“Hi! I’m Dustin!” 

“Little shit.” Eddie corrects and again puts his elbow on the table, looking your way as he rests his head on his hand. 

“Eddie told me you like Harry Potter!” Dustin says and you smile into the camera, widely as heat fills your cheeks. Eddie talked about you. He talked about you to his family.

“Yes! I am a potterhead, full fledged.” You say to the curly headed boy in front of you, and Eddie knew he had become non existent at this point, but seeing you smile widely while talking to his brother was making his heart beat faster and yearn for you even more than before. 

“I am too! I mean, I am a fan of all nerdy things, but Harry Potter is one of my top 3!” He says with a smile which was super contagious to you, making you smile at him. “Okay so, I am a Hufflepuff, and my Patronus is a dog!” He says and your eyes widen at him, your mouth falling into a surprised one.

“Me too! I am a proud Hufflepuff, but my Patronus is actually a Hippogriff.” Dustin’s eyes widened.

“No fucking way! That one is fucking difficult to get!” Eddie was smiling as he heard you talk, completely entranced by you, excitedly moving your free hand as you talked to Dustin. He wondered if you would be this care free with Wayne and Claudia. God, he really wants to introduce you to them, and the thought scared him before, but seeing you right now he is simply growing impatient for it to happen already.

He used this time to go to the bathroom and relieve himself, looking at himself in the mirror, taking a deep breath in to calm his nerves. God, what is happening right now? You were talking normally, he knew that, but there was something else. It was as if you were expecting something, watching him, and you even scooted closer to him. He wasn’t going to complain, but… Should he make a move? Should he first talk to you? 

He chuckles at himself, feeling like a complete hypocrite. He always talks to you about letting go, to stop thinking, to stop dwelling on things in your mind and here he was. But the difference was that he was risking so much if he decided on making the move. But weren’t the signs there? You waited for his answer if this was a date or not! So why is he hesitating so much?

He walks out of the bathroom, walking back towards the booth and he sees a smile line of people outside the bar, waiting to enter. He knew you two were going to get kicked out soon, and he groaned at the thought, sitting in the booth, sliding next to you again as you giggled at Dustin, Eddie’s heart warming again.

“Yeah, but I can’t ever beat him at Mario Kart. He sucks at everything else, but Mario Kart is a fucking pro isn’t he?” You tilted your head at that, and Eddie’s eyes widened at his brother, already cursing him as Dustin kept talking. “Yeah, he told me you couldn’t beat him either.”

Your mouth fell open in surprise, looking at Eddie with complete shock in your face. His eyes were panicked as he looked at you, an innocent small smile appearing in his lips and you bit your bottom lip with your eyebrows raised up and nodded at him, only to snap back at Dustin.

“So he told you he beat me? Cause I don’t remember it like that at all!” Dustin’s face fell, his turn to tilt his head in confusion and Eddie’s arm immediately wrapped around your shoulders, pushing you into him with his hand covering your mouth, rather harshly in order to shut you up as he snatched the phone out of your hands, putting his face on the camera again as your screams and mumbles were muffled into his palm.

“Okay, Dustin, talk to you tomorrow, if this is about the campaign we’ll talk later!” 

“What did she mean–” Eddie hung up before Dustin could finish and he dropped the phone on the table with an exasperated sigh. You were wriggling in his grasp and he took the hand off your mouth but his arm was still holding you close. He looked down at you with a frown to his face as you laughed, your hands pressing onto his thigh for support.

“He beats me at every game, he is not going to let me live it down if he knows YOU beat me at Mario Kart!” You were still giggling as you looked up at him.

“But I did beat you at Mario Kart!” You now noticed how close his face was to yours, his arm still holding you close, with his hand now on your shoulder. Your whole body is turned, which was rather uncomfortable, but you didn’t care. You were just inches from touching his lips again, and the burning in your belly ignited, first like a spark, and it was expanding into flames, all over. 

“Yeah… You did… But he doesn’t need to know Angel… Let’s keep that secret between us, okay?” His voice lowered, talking to you, privately, intimately and that made your legs clench slightly, already knowing why you were always fidgety with him. Why you were always uncomfortable in that area of yours. 

You were aroused.

It was just you two in the bar right now, that’s how it felt like. No one around you. No clients, no waitresses, no barman, no cook… There was no one. You just needed him to close the distance, you were begging him with your eyes to close the distance between you two, but he wasn’t doing anything. Why isn’t he doing anything? You were growing desperate now, and you knew it, but what do you have to do for his lips to be on yours again?

“Can I handle your check?” Eddie wanted to curse at whoever was playing a joke on him from above. Probably his fucking father or something. He sighed as he pulled away from you, looking at the waitress before him. He nodded and you felt as if your breathing had picked up a pace now, feeling your heart hammering in your chest, as you sat straight once more.

You were… Irritated. Why isn’t he kissing you? He’s done it before, why isn’t he doing anything? Maybe he doesn’t want to? But he didn’t say it wasn’t a date, because if it weren’t then he should have said a simple no. You were too into your head that you didn’t notice Eddie paying the waitress until he tapped your shoulder. 

“They are basically kicking us out.” He gave you a small smile and you looked at him, still with a lost look in your eyes and nodded, grabbing your things and getting out of the booth with him. You wanted to glare at the people that were in line, because thanks to them they had to start to clear up tables to fill them in. 

“You didn’t even let me pay half…” You pouted at him as he walked next to you, but your steps were slow, not wanting the night to end. You didn’t realize that you’ve been sitting there with him for two hours, time passing by way too quickly for your liking. 

“Next time is on you.” He says with a smile and your heart jumps at that, making you smile towards the floor trying to hide how flushed you just got. Next time. There will be a next time with just the two of you. You looked up at him, both of you still walking.

“Maybe next time you can help Dustin before so he doesn’t have to interrupt.” You said to him and he was baffled by your answer. You saw Dustin as an interruption when he was close to you. His heart hammered in his chest, and none of you were paying attention to the small concrete boulder on the ground, and when you stepped on it, you tumbled to the side, flailing your arms everywhere.

“Shit!” He grabbed your arms, pulling you into him to steady you as your heart felt like exploding. You felt your world tilting when you stepped on that, giving you a complete heart attack. His chest rumbled with laughter and you looked up at him with a frown and pout in your face.

“Don’t laugh at me! I didn’t see it!” You were embarrassed at your display, but seeing him laugh was making you want to get on the tip of your toes, and plant a kiss on him. God, you want to kiss him, really bad.

“I’m sorry, you just moved your arms everywhere and it was funny.” His laugh slowed down as his head turned to look at you and there was that look on your face again. You were blinking slowly at him, and his blood began rushing south because it almost looked as if you wanted to eat him alive. 

Just like he wanted to do to you.

“Eds…?” You were dazed, eyes hazed while staring up at him and your mind was turning into gelatin, coherent thoughts no longer processing in your head, and your palms were splayed on his chest, and you just wanted to rise them up, glide them on his torso and to the back of his head.

“Yes, Angel?” His voice was low, your frame still in his arms as you two stood in the street, and he really was trying to keep himself under control here, but when you were looking at him like that… The only thought that was processed was… Fuck it. 

But you flinched, your eyes blinking rapidly as you touched your cheek with your index finger, water covering it. You frowned at it and Eddie was about to ask what happened when he himself felt something on his cheek. He unhooked one arm from you to wipe his face, noticing the drop of water on his hand, and as soon as you both looked up, the sky decided it was time for a waterfall to happen. 

The drops were heavy, soaking you both in the lapse of five seconds and you pulled away from Eddie with a squeal, followed by a glare towards him and he was taking off his jacket in a hurry, cursing under his breath to then flop it on your head to cover you from any more rain.

“I TOLD YOU SO!” You yelled at him and he grabbed your hand to start running towards your complex, and he couldn’t help but roar with laughter as he ran. You wanted to murder him and he was laughing at the situation. The streets had puddles already from how heavy was raining as thunder roared in the sky above you both.

“JUST RUN!” He yelled back through his laughter and you couldn’t help but laugh with him as you kept running under the rain, Eddie’s jacket over your head, keeping the rain out of your hair and face. Many people were running from the sudden downpour, some cursing, some laughing, and then some just accepted their fate and walked under the rain.

You two were just running like crazy, laughing hysterically as his hand squeezed yours, your sneakers already full of puddle water which was making you wince in disgust and made you keep whining at him, telling him off that you were right and that you should have gone inside for an umbrella. You took the keys out of your purse desperately as you both reached the complex and he let your hand go.

“Well, Angel, I should–”

“Nope, you’re getting inside and we’re gonna dry ourselves before we catch a fucking cold!” You yelled at him and he wasn’t going to say no, following you inside the lobby as you opened your door. You both rushed to the elevator as you kept laughing at how stupid Eddie had been about the weather. 

In the elevator you took the jacket off your head and he grabbed it, trying to shake the water off it and you covered your face to then slap his arm to make him stop. He was laughing at the reflection of the two of you and you noticed that your makeup was running, making you gasp in embarrassment and fix it with your index fingers.

The doors opened at your floor and you grabbed his hand to walk the two of you out of the elevator, rushing towards the warmth of your apartment, your heart beating loudly in your chest, as you opened the door to finally head inside. Eddie closed the door behind him and you motioned for him to take off his boots as you took off your water filled sneakers.

“God, okay, I am not a weatherman, okay? I can make mistakes.” He says with a chuckle, taking off his boots and his socks that were completely drenched. You put your sneakers and socks aside as you looked at him. 

“You said you were an expert–” 

“Experts can make mistakes sweetheart.” He says to you with a smile, that dimpled smile that made your knees buckle. You studied him, his hair was stuck to his forehead and cheeks, some curls were wet bouncing off, but his bun was still in place. You felt your breathing picking up a pace again, and it wasn’t because of the running. His chest was going up and down, his shirt now completely stuck to his body, letting your eyes roam all over him, and the flames never extinguished. Even when you were running towards here you still felt them, in the hold of his hand, in his laughter, in that moment between the two of you.

You didn’t even turn on the lights of the apartment, but the streetlamps of the street were bright enough to bring some light into the place, and thunder every now and then flashed through the windows. He ran a hand over his face to take off the excess water, and even if you were drenched from head to toe, you were burning. You were really burning as if you had the worst fever ever.

Your consciousness was drifting away again, your body wanting to move as your belly and your need yelled at you. He hadn’t made a move on you all night. He didn’t kiss you, he had touched you but he did go farther than that. The anticipation of him doing something, the anticipation of fully crossing the line, the anticipation of something happening tonight. That’s what you were waiting for, but you were irritated already because of how desperate you were for him.

You want him.

You desire him.

You need him.

“Angel, we should get some towels.” He was oblivious to you, not realizing the desperate look on your face, the fast pace of your breathing, the twitching of your hands, and just because he was looking all over at himself and how incredibly drenched he got from some rain in just a minute. 

Your body was trembling almost as you stared at him, your belly burning as you felt the heat right at your core. This, you never felt this before. This intense feeling of wanting someone, of craving someone, of wanting to touch them in every possible way. The thought of that scared you before, but now, you would do anything to see him in the light, bare before you, and you wanted to make him feel good, in the same way he made you feel that night. 

Stop thinking.

Stop waiting. 

Let go.

Let fucking go.

Eddie looked up only for his eyes to widen when he felt both of your hands reach up to his face, cradling him, and he didn’t even notice you had walked closer to him at all. He stared down at you, seeing that look again in your face as you pulled him down towards you, and you tipped toed upwards.

And you kissed him.

It was soft, yet with pressure, and he was in complete shock, his eyes still wide as you kissed him, in a long peck, your lips not moving, yet he could feel the desire in the kiss, because he could feel how hot your hands were, despite the heavy cold rain that poured on the two of you. You made the move on him. You kissed him. Out of your own accord, no help required, no favor asked. 

Your hands trembled as you slowly pulled away, breathing heavily and taking a step back to scan his face. Your body was shaking slightly, not because of the wet clothes on you, but because you wanted to simply jump on him. This new feeling inside of you was making you feel like an animal, and you didn’t know how to control it, not anymore. 

He was still looking at you with surprise in his face, his chest increasing its movement as his breathing picked up, and locked eyes with yours. The tension in the air was palpable, and the room grew hotter, and hotter as you two scanned one another. You didn’t think, you let go with him. 

Fuck it.

He dropped the wet leather jacket to the floor with a thud, and gave a heavy step towards you, one hand flying towards your waist, wrapping his arm around you while he took the other towards the back of your head, pulling you towards him. You sighed of relief as your arms immediately wrapped around him as his lips clashed desperately against yours.

This kiss was different. It was needy, rough, and it was already burning your lips as you both moved with one another, your fingernails digging into his back as you pressed your body against his, feeling his hand grip onto the small of your back. His fingers went into your wet hair, pulling you deeper into his kiss.

There was no room for thoughts, no room for being conscious of what was going on. You just need this fire to be over, you need it extinguished, but it only grew its flame. You need more, so for the first time, you licked his bottom lip, wanting to feel more of him. He groaned into the kiss, his chest exploding at the thought of you making all the moves today.

You wanted him, you were experiencing desire for the first time ever, and he now understood. You were letting go, letting your instincts take over, letting your body move for you, and you were being consumed by those flames you were annoyed of for the past weeks. 

He moved the both of you, your hips slamming against the counter behind you as your tongue danced with his, heavy breaths mixing with one another’s, his hands wanting to roam all over your body but there was still some control in him, even if it was a very thin line. So he kept his hands where he originally put them, while your fingernails were scratching on his scalp, wanting him closer onto your body, feeling his hip against yours and you couldn’t help but whine at the need for more, his blood rushing south in a fast pace as he heard that coming from you.

You had to have more, it’s not enough. God, it’s just not enough. He groaned into your mouth when one of your hands slid down from his head to grab onto his bicep, harshly and without breaking the kiss you pushed yourselves off the counter. You want to take what you desire, want to lose yourself in the feeling so you start taking steps, small steps, guiding him with you, your lips still attached as if your lives depended on it. 

He was hesitant to follow you, wanting to pull away to ask if this is what you really wanted, but he didn’t want you to think he didn’t want this. It’s the only thing that’s been in his mind ever since he kissed you back at his apartment, maybe even before that. So the fact that you are the one, guiding him into your bedroom, was making that small control he had in himself slowly begin to snap.

The back of your knees hit the edge of your bed, and the kiss only broke for a second as you fell back, body hitting the mattress below you with a soft huff as you tried to get your breathing back to normal, to get oxygen into your brain so you could think, but Eddie was close behind you, following you as he got on top of you, each knee on the side of your thighs, right on the edge of the mattress, as he leaned down hungrily to take your lips again with his.

You moaned softly into the kiss, making him groan as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders again to pull him close. He wrapped one arm around you, going in between your body and the mattress to lift you slightly up so he can guide you up into the middle of the bed, your legs no longer dangling at the edge and he crawled with you in the movement, trying to never leave your lips.

You were both breathing heavily into each other, tongues mixing in a wild dance, battling for the prize, but it was still not enough. He was hovering over you, not pressing his body against you, and you needed that. You arched your back upwards, looking for him, not knowing yourself for a second there but you were just desperate for him, you needed him, terribly. 

He felt your chest hit his and he groaned into the kiss, but he had to be first, and foremost, the good friend you met at that coffee shop. The good friend you trusted from the beginning to help you. The good friend you could be yourself with no matter what. So he slowly, painfully, broke the kiss, his lips still hovering over yours as he spoke, eyes searching for yours.

“Angel… Are you–” And you finally locked eyes with his, and he almost died right then and there. All your features and the wide dilated pupils in your eyes made all of his doubts wash away. 

“E-Eds– I–” He knew that if you talked you would think and your mind would start working in search of words, so he immediately clashed his lips on yours again. He was so selfish, but he wasn’t going to miss this chance of you letting go with him. For whatever this evening takes you both, he wasn’t going to miss the chance of experiencing it. 

His arm was still wrapped underneath you, so he kneeled up, making you sit up while the kiss never broke between the two of you. He pulled away once more, looking into your eyes to see if there were signs of regret, of panic, of uncertainty, but in your eyes the only thing you could see was him. Just him. The eye contact never broke, as his hands slowly started heading to the back of your dress, finding the zipper at the top of it.

You were both almost panting now as you stared at one another, and when he didn’t see you move away, when he didn’t see you look away, and when he didn’t see your gaze change on him, he held onto the zipper and began pulling it down, slowly. Your body shivered as your belly turned with an anxious feeling you didn’t know how to really describe, but it wasn’t bad, it was the complete opposite of it. You wanted him to take your dress off, and it made you nervous, you knew it by the way your hands trembled, but you still wanted him to take it off, let him touch your bare skin, skin that was burning you almost agonizingly at each soft teasing touch.

Once the zipper was down, and you still haven’t stopped him, he sucked a deep breath in to calm his heart as he grabbed onto the collar of the dress, and started pulling it down. He was going to save your breasts for the final show, first helping you get out of the long sleeves, which was hard to do because of how wet the fabric was, sticking onto your skin.

You took this time to glance at his arms, wanting to bite onto them, wanting him to wrap them around you again as he slowly took the top of your dress off. Fear finally struck you as he pulled the top part down to finally see you in your bra. Your body flushed, feeling bare before him, yet you still looked up to look at his reaction, and his eyes were almost wide, completely clouded at your sight.

When he pulled that part of cloth down, he didn’t expect you to have something like that underneath. That black lace fit you as if it was made specifically for you, and you… You picked that for him. You had chosen to wear this underneath that dress of yours, all night, while talking to him. He cursed under his breath when he felt his bulge twitch in his pants, wanting to break free. 

He grabbed the back of your neck, and leaned down towards your face, making your eyelids drop as his breath hit your face. He gave your lips a small peck, yet longing as he slowly pushed you down onto the bed once again. He pulled away from the kiss as he hovered on top of you, both elbows holding himself up to not crush you, fighting his hips upwards so you wouldn’t feel his hard on against your thigh. 

His lips found your cheek bone, and you sighed with almost relief, closing your eyes as his lips went further down, going towards your neck, leaving soft breathy kisses all over the skin. He gave a soft tentative nip on your skin, making you jerk upwards, your chest hitting his as he groaned against you.

“You’re so beautiful… God, you’re so fucking beautiful Angel…” You gasped as you held onto his biceps, swallowing the words he just said to you. His lips went even more south, kissing onto your collarbone and the flames just expanded with that. If he kept going you were sure you would combust from the intense burning that was all over your body. His kisses kept going, kissing all over your torso until he reached the top of your breasts. He looked up at you with a lost look in his eyes and you looked down at him, breathing heavily as you gave him a nod. 

“Please…” You begged, almost whined, and he didn’t have to be told twice. He dipped his hand behind your back, and you lifted slightly so he could get access to the hook of your bra. He expertly snapped it open with one movement, and you dropped onto the mattress again. He could feel the heat that was radiating off your body, how flushed you were.

Your mind started moving its gears again when you felt him pull the first strap down. What if he didn’t like them? What if they are too bland? Too boring? Maybe little more than what he normally is used to? Not perfect and perky? What if he–

A kiss on your cheek stopped your mind from reeling any further, and you looked at Eddie who had a lust filled look in his features as he breathed a little heavily over you. He now decided to let you know how bad you had him in the palm of your hand, how incredibly turned on he was with you underneath him, so he pressed his hip against your thigh. Your eyes widened when you felt the bulge hitting on your skin, and your control left your mind once more.

“You’re perfect… So fucking perfect.” He whispered to you as he took the other strap down and your body relaxed as he took the constricting device off your body, the breeze hitting your wet skin, making your nipples stand up at it. Reality hit you, now being conscious that Eddie was seeing you half naked right now. You were going to start talking but his lips hungrily found yours again.

He took one glance, just one glance at your breasts and he was gone. He needed to feel you, he desperately needed you now, his heart tugging on him so intensely that he believes he is going to die on the spot. He threw the bra away, not caring where it landed as his hand pressed onto your waist, to let you know he was there. You breathed softly against his lips as his fingertips started trailing up on your body.

Your eyes widened when you felt his cold hand come in contact with your left nipple, sensitivity shooting a shockwave through your body, making your arch your back towards his touch. His tongue was in your mouth, swallowing your soft moan, making him hold a groan back as he greedily rubbed himself on your thigh once, to get some friction.

His index finger started circling your nipple, perking it up even more, and you couldn’t help but pull away from the kiss to throw your head back onto the pillow, a low moan escaping your lips. You never felt this when someone touched your breasts, but you felt this a hundred times more, even more than when you touch yourself there. Eddie was basically doing magic on you right now. 

He was panting as he looked at your blissed out face, and he pinched your nipple once, gently to see you jerk up, another moan escaping you and he licked his lips as he hungrily stared down at you. He used your exposed neck, planting a kiss there, and then on the other side as his thumb and index finger kept pinching you, rolling your nipple in between his digits. 

He was too hungry for you, trailing his kisses back down towards your collarbone, and you were too distracted into the bliss of his fingers, that you didn’t notice his kisses at the top of your right breast, kissing now all around the mound, and he looked at you one last time before he placed his mouth onto your nipple. 

Your eyes snapped open at the feeling, looking down at him and your core burnt with the sight of him, groaning, almost moaning against your skin, enjoying every lick and bite he did to you. Your hands were gripping his shoulders, tightly as moans ripped from your mouth and your back arched at him.

Your taste was something he was never going to forget in his life, nor get tired of. He was in pure bliss as he gave you this pleasure you never experienced, and he hoped he was going to be the only one to give that to you. He sucked on your lip to then let go with a pop, letting his tongue flick onto the nub a couple of times, making you shiver under his touch, your eyes closed as your head was to the side, enjoying his ministrations.

He dragged his tongue to the center of your breasts to then land a kiss there. He then began trailing more kisses, going downwards and your breathing hitched when he grabbed onto the lower part of your dress. He gave you a look as he sat up, letting you choose again if he continued or not. Your answer, even if nervous, even if thoughts wanted to go off in your brain, your instincts and your body didn’t let it. Your hips raised up from the bed and he sucked in a sharp intake of breath as he began pulling the dress off you. 

He dropped it somewhere in the room and he had a perfect view of your body now. You were almost naked, on your bed, giving yourself to him in a way he didn’t think was possible. His chest was going up and down rapidly, fingertips trembling. He wanted to devour you, take you, make you his, and ruin you, absolutely ruin you for anybody else. Ruin you to the point you wouldn’t be able to forget about him. Ruin you with the intent of branding himself on your skin and mind. 

No one can have you, but him.

Your body burnt at his gaze, and you were about to cover yourself out of embarrassment and he shook his head at you, running his hands on your thighs.

“I am admiring you Angel… You– You don’t know what you’re doing to me.” You didn’t expect to hear that from him, but as your gaze looked downwards you could see how big the bulge underneath his pants were. You didn’t even touch him, and yet he was there, turned on by just touching you. 

He leaned down again, crawling a little bit downwards as he placed a kiss on your stomach, and then at your waist. You covered your mouth as his kisses started going beyond the elastic band of your thong, kissing over your thigh, and then moving onto the other one. His fingers moved upwards and grabbed onto the edge of your thong.

Your eyes widened and you flinched away from him, fear striking you suddenly as the nerves took over you. He looked up at you to see if you were regretting it, if you wanted to stop, but your eyes were simply confused, nervous, and doubtful. He licked his lips as he kneeled up again, to lean over you so he could gaze at your eyes more closely.

“Do you want me to stop?” Did you? You definitely didn’t, but he was going to see you there, he was going to be able to see it. Last time he couldn’t and just touched you, but now he wanted to be face to face with your center. Yet, as you looked up at him, you could see some desperation in his eyes, almost a plea, a beg. You shook your head slowly at him and he gave you a small smile. “Trust me…”

You nodded gently at him, and he looked down again to hook his finger at the band of your thong. He sat back and lifted your legs so he could slowly slide it away from you. Your eyes clenched together and before you could move and hide yourself by clenching your legs shut, he placed himself in between them, your knees hitting his hips. 

He crawled down again, looking down at your center like a starved man. He couldn’t just dive in, even if he were as hungry as ever, he couldn’t. You were nervous, and he knew that, so he looked up at you and saw your eyes just looking everywhere at the ceiling. 

“Eds— I– No one has ever…–” And he knew what you meant, so he started his kissing again, trying to soothe your tensed up legs, bending your knees slightly as he kissed the top of your thighs first, soft kisses and tender bites to let your relax, to tell you in his own way that he is going to take care of you, that he is not there to judge you, and that you didn’t make him do anything. He is doing it out of his pure greediness, his own selfishness, his own hunger and his own fire. 

“I’ll make you feel good love… It’s just me.” Those last words always relaxed you, always made your nerves slip away even if slightly, because he was right. It was just him. And you were glad it was always him, you were happy it was just him, you were excited that it was only him. His lips were now in your left inner thigh, kissing you gently, longingly, moving towards your center, and then repeating the actions on the right inner thigh, making you tremble with anticipation, your core clenching on nothing as you waited for what he could do to you.

And then he took a deep breath in, taking your scent in, seeing how wet you already were for him, and finally pressed a kiss over your clit, a gentle one, but it was enough to make you jerk at the sensation, your hands gripping onto the sheets below you. Your eyes were wide at this new sensation, and your belly turned from finally getting something to numb the burning ache. His arms were now under your thighs, and his hands gripped your hips to keep you in place as he finally gave in to his hunger and dove in.

A moan escaped your lips when he licked all along your slit, flicking your nub at the end, and repeating the motion again. Your mind turned into mush as he pressed himself into your center, licking and tasting you. You could feel his tongue flicking on your clit, and he started doing a motion you didn’t think it was possible to do with tongue. Your moans escalated as he moved his head up and down on you, gathering your slick as he groaned at the taste, the tip of his tongue sliding in between your folds repeatedly to feel your walls clenching on nothing.

He couldn’t believe how sweet you tasted. He could spend a lifetime here in between your legs if he could, if you’d let him, just taking orgasm after orgasm from you, never satiating his hunger for you. He was listening to your moans, to your panting as your back arched upwards and then it fell back down on the mattress. Your hips sway slightly against him. 

He then pressed his face against your center, nose against your clit as his tongue went inside of you and your eyes widened as stars filled your eyes. You could feel him move inside of you, and it was different from his fingers, but still made you moan even louder than before as your belly was building up that tension, slowly, that needed to break.

“Ed-Eddie–” Oh god, his name is on your lips again. He pulled his mouth away from you to flick your clit with the tip of it. His arm let go of your thigh, to bring it in between your legs. He sucked on your clit, your back arching as he coated his fingers in your wetness, first pushing his middle finger in.

A whimper came out of your lips at the feeling of your clit being stimulated as he plunged inside. The room was definitely on fire right now, the heat of it all being too harsh, but yet feeling so good. This is what you wanted. You didn’t want it extinguished, you wanted it to burn you alive. His finger started thrusting in and out of you as he kept stimulating your clit with his tongue and mouth.

He looked up and he almost came in his pants at the sight. You were moaning with no restraints, some ‘god’ and ‘fuck’ came out here and there, and he couldn’t help but rub himself against the mattress for some friction, because he was going to explode if he didn’t. His eyes looked at your hand on the mattress, so with his other hand, he let go of your thigh to guide towards your hand, getting hold of it.

Your eyes opened and looked down at him. His eyes closed as he guided your hand to his head, dropping his own to wrap around your thigh again as he pulled you into him once more. You were seeing him devouring you, his finger still going in and out of you as your body rocked slightly against him. Your hand immediately closed onto the top of his head, nails going into his curls, a groan being pushed inside your center as you did so.

The elastic band was slowly growing wider and wider, ready to snap in your belly, as your body heated up at the orgasm that was building inside of you. He felt the clenching of your walls around his middle finger, so he decided to help even more with his index finger, now both fingers stretching out as he pumped them in and out. His mouth never leaves your sensitive and throbbing nub.

Your eyes widened again, your hand pulling his head into you and then your other hand found itself into his curls as well, your belly now burning as he kept eating you as if your substance was the elixir of the gods. And for Eddie, it definitely was. He was still rubbing himself against the mattress as he felt your walls clenching around his fingers and your body twitched several times.

“I– I– Eddie, I’m gonna–” You were stammering in your words, not being able to think straight at all as he kept mouthing at you, fingering you, even faster than before, curling his fingers inside of you so that he could hit that spongy part within you, that part no one but him has ever touched before. 

He groaned in approval and moved his head up and down on you to move his tongue even faster, and he felt you moving your hips against him, trying to reach your climax and help him get to it faster. The coil finally snapped and your back arched all the way up as your walls clenched onto his fingers, tightly, and he could barely move them from how tight you were, groaning onto your clit as his eyes looked up to see you like this for him.

You were moaning his name, loudly, your hands still on his hair, gripping onto it as he helped you ride your orgasm out, tasting your fluids on his tongue. He slowly felt your walls unclench on his fingers, and he could take them out of you, but before he would completely detach himself from you, he licked a wide stripe of your slit to collect your juices, groaning in delight at the taste as you flinched away from the over sensitivity.

You were panting heavily, looking at the ceiling with half lidded eyes, and you thought the flames would be gone, that after that they would simply fade away… But they didn’t… And as you saw him crawling back up, his face over yours again, your slick being wiped off by his wrist, and that made you tremble slightly once again. 

So, have you got the guts?

“We can stop here… There is no need to keep going if you don’t want to.” You looked up at him, searching to see if he wanted to stop, if he wanted to really end the night here, unlike yourself. You didn’t want to stop, you needed more, you wanted more, this wasn’t enough, because you wanted to make him feel good too, but overall… You wanted to feel him. 

Your hands reached up to grab onto the hem of his shirt, and he immediately realized what you wanted. He sat back, and throwing his hand over his head, he grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it off in one swift move. You slowly sat up, your breathing still heavy from the orgasm that exploded in you a minute ago, but for the first time, you could see him. 

Tattoos lingered all over his body, a few patches of uncovered skin were there, but now you found yourself amazed by all the tattoos you had to trace. These new markings you wanted to mentally take a screenshot of to always remember them. Your hands lifted up, your mind filled with desire and lust, as you finally touched his abdominal area, making him throw his head back in a circle, a groan being restrained in his throat. 

Been wondering if your heart's still open, and if so, I wanna know what time it shuts.

He’s been touched like this before, but this is the first time he felt cared for, as if you were making sure to touch every little piece of skin that there was so that he knew you desired him as much as he desired you. Remember every small part of you, every little twitch, every marking, every mole, freckle… 

Your hands traveled upwards towards his pecs, running your hands over them and Eddie’s eyes widened when he felt your lips kiss over his belly button. He couldn’t wait anymore. He really couldn’t. He grabbed your shoulders and gently pulled you off him, so he could grab the back of your head, pulling it back so he could dive in and press a deep kiss on your lips.

You moaned into it, your hands still on his body as you ran your fingertips all over his waist, making his skin grow in goosebumps. With his free hand, he guided it towards his belt, the clinking of the buckle opening catching your attention, pulling away from him with a gasp. You were looking at how he took the leather strap off him, throwing it to the side, a clank being heard from the metal hitting the floor. 

Simmer down and pucker up

He licked his lips in anticipation as he tried to keep his breathing under control, but fuck, he never felt this way when having sex before, and he was afraid of fucking it up. His eyes widened though, when he felt your trembling fingers touching the button of his jeans. He gulped audibly as he looked down at you, pulling the button off and then slowly gliding the zipper down, just like he did with the zipper of your dress.

He stood up from the bed, right next to you to be able to take his pants off, which were a still wet mess, and you just stared at him, standing in your room in his boxers only. Your eyes widened at the prominent bulge that were covered by the black fabric, and you felt your mouth salivate, for the first time in your life, while looking at someone’s hard on. It didn’t happen with the men you dated before, but with Eddie, everything was just pure craving, pure desire, pure and absolute want. 

And you weren’t shying away from it.

He saw how you were watching him and he took a step closer to you so you could make the final move on him, the one that will determine how the rest of the night is going to go. You looked up at him, and the only person you saw was Eddie… Your sweet Eddie… And your hands moved by themselves as they grabbed onto the hem of his boxers, slowly dragging them down until you could finally see him, in all of his glory. It was large, and you really don’t remember enough to compare it to your exes, but this one, you knew you would remember. Before, you would have died to have complete darkness in the room, so you didn’t have to see them, but as the thunder struck against the sky and illuminated the room through the windows, it was like a camera flash to you, taking pictures of him, scanning him all over.

And you wanted him, you really wanted him.

You looked up at him, and he immediately knew what you were trying to tell him, with just one look into your eyes. He leaned down to grab onto your jaw with his thumb and index finger, leaning down to press a soft kiss on your lips. You moaned against the touch and he groaned as his dick twitched, not being able to handle the anticipation any longer. He pulled away from the kiss to mumble against your lips.

I'm sorry to interrupt, it's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you.

“Condoms are in my jacket–” You couldn’t afford the seconds it took for him to go get his jacket, so you opened the drawer on your night table to show him the box of condoms you had there. He raised an eyebrow at it and then directed it at you. Nervousness broke into your body as you looked down. 

“I-I bought them after we– you started giving me advice…” He smirked at you and then grabbed onto the box, closing the drawer. An unopened box of condoms. He opened the pack and took a foil out, and then pushed you to lay back down onto the bed as he kneeled in between your legs again. Your breathing picked up again as you saw him rip the foil off with his teeth, taking the latex out of the package.

I don't know if you feel the same as I do.

He threw the rest somewhere on the floor, and you watched as he slowly rolled the condom on his shaft, your center clenching at nothing as he groaned at the friction of finally being able to touch himself. If he was this sensitive with just rolling the condom on himself, he was sure he wasn’t going to last with you. Your legs were bent and spread, him coming closer to you to finally cover your body with his, his elbows keeping him up in order to not crush you.

He leaned down to take your lips in his again, this time softer, tenderly, and your eyes closed into the feeling, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Your lips moved with one another’s, feeling your heart beating into your throat as you lost yourself into his tongue, but then your eyes widened when you felt him line himself up against you. 

He groaned into the kiss when he felt his tip going in, just his tip, and he was already moaning at the feeling of it. This was definitely different from any other times he had sex. This wasn’t just that, it was way more, because he felt his whole body being run over by electricity and fire included. 

But we could be together... if you wanted to.

“Angel, you need to relax– Relax for me…” You didn’t notice how tense you were until he pulled away from you to tell you that. Your eyes locked with his and he was looking down at you with care, with so much care and worry that you sighed, feeling your heart warm at his thought, and your muscles relaxed on him. One of his elbows was keeping him up, while his other hand was pressed on your waist to have some leverage on reality.

He looked down to where you two were beginning to connect as he sunk further, holding in a groan in his throat again, closing his eyes at the feeling, and your mouth fell into a voiceless gasp, staring at the ceiling. It felt good, yet it was a big stretch, but god it felt good. It was painfully good. You could feel him going deeper, each second that passed, your hands all over his back, nails scratching onto his skin.

He leaned down into your exposed neck to make him think of something else as he pulled back slightly, to then thrust into you again, this time further, letting a choked moan escape your lips. He kissed your skin, as he groaned into it, feeling your chest heaving up and down from the intense pleasure you were starting to feel. 

Do I wanna know, if this feeling flows both ways?

“Pl–Please Eddie–” He raised his head to look down at you, to look into your eyes when he finally made the final push, and he bottomed out inside of you, a gasp escaping your lips as a groan escaped his.

“Fuck…” He couldn’t help but curse at the extreme feeling he was experiencing with you. You were full of him, and you loved it, god you were loving it. Your heartbeat against your chest as your legs raised up against his hips to feel him even more into you. He looked at your eyes again and you nodded slowly, not wanting to wait any longer, the room already becoming hell from how hot it was, and he sucked a deep breath in as he threw his hips back, and slowly thrusted back inside of you.

Moans filled the room, volume increasing at each slow thrust of his, a pace that was driving him insane, but when looking down at your face, he knew you were loving. He leaned down to kiss your cheek as he kept moving his hips against yours, your hands gripping the back of his head as he moaned into your skin, his muscles flexing at the intensity of it all. 

You needed more, more, more, you couldn’t stop chanting that word in your head, so your hips started moving, going against his rhythm to fasten the pace, to make him go deeper into you, because your belly was screaming for more, your heart was tugging for more, your body needed more of him, more of Eddie.

Sad to see you go, was sorta hoping that you'd stay.

“You don’t know– You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this… To have you like this– fuck.” He moaned into your ear and you whimpered at the words, tears prickling in your eyes as he caught your message and his pace quickened, now the slapping of skin being louder, causing your body to flush all over, and you wanted to tell him the same, you wanted to express to him that you wanted him, that you took some time to realize it, but it had always been there.

He pulled away from your skin to put both hands at the side of your head, staring down at you, as his hips started snapping against yours, the feeling of him inside of you deeper than before, the force of his thrusts sending you into a crazed state, into a place in your mind where you didn’t know who you were, or where you were at.

Your legs wrapped around his waist and he moaned a curse when he felt you pushing him into yourself, your nails scratching onto his arms now, your mouth open with moans coming out of it, eyes closed and lost in the pleasure. He gulped heavily as he looked down at your body, taking mental pictures of how you bounced, of how you moved, of how your body twitched and yearned for him. 

Baby, we both know… That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day.

“Eddie– Eddie, god–” You moaned loud, your senses all filled with him, your body marked by him, your insides being full of him, each hard thrust, every change of pace, every moan you heard from him. You couldn’t have enough, and your belly was already coiling again with that elastic band, wanting to break loose. 

He was breathing heavily, sweat now prickling on his skin instead of the water rain from before. He felt himself getting close, how could he not? He had rubbed himself on you, on the mattress, and pleasuring you was almost enough to make him finish right then and there. He stopped his movements to wrap his arms around you, lifting your upper body off the mattress, as he sat back, making you sit on him in a straddling position.

“Ed-Eds, I don’t know, this position–” You breathed heavily as your mind tried to think again but he shook his head, holding onto your hips as he kissed your neck softly, mumbling onto your skin.

“I’ll guide you, I’ll help you—” And he started guiding you up and down on him, slowly, as your hands clenched on his shoulders, your mouth falling agape at how deeper he was than before. You never changed positions, and this was very new to you, but your embarrassment was completely overshadowed by the incredible lust you were feeling, by the desire of wanting to keep making him feel good. 

Crawling back to you. Ever thought of calling when you've had a few? 'Cause I always do.

You followed his guidance, your hips moving up and down, almost bouncing on him, his thighs clenching at the feeling as his moans filled the room. His arms were wrapped around you, pulling you flushed into his own body. He just wanted you close, closer, wanting to feel your skin on his as you both tried to near your climax. Your hand creeped up onto his hair, and just like that first night you saw each other, you grabbed his ponytail, with no guidance, and pulled his hair off the bun he had, letting his curls fall down onto his shoulders. He smiled up at you, shaking his head as you leaned down to capture his lips with your own, licking onto his bottom lip as you kept your pace on him.

Your walls started clenching on him, and he knew he was going to lose it. He pulled away from you and then he leaned down to take a nipple of yours into his mouth, sucking on it, and that made you throw your head back with a loud moan escaping your lips, the coil in your belly about to break, about to make you see stars once more. Your nails were digging into his skin, and you needed more friction, you needed more.

“Eddie– Eddie–” You asked for him, you asked for help, and he nodded, pulling away from your chest to look up at you. He pushed your hips down, not letting you go up again, and started motioning you to go forward and back, rubbing yourself on him. Your eyes widened when you felt this new feeling. This position was letting you rub your spongy part on him, your g-spot, repeatedly, and that was making your mind lose complete control of your body.

Your hips started grinding against his, faster, and faster, trying to reach that climax, and he was almost whining underneath you, trying to hold in his own orgasm to be able to feel you around him first. He needed to feel you clench around him, he needed it. Your upper body was thrown back slightly as one hand was gripped onto his shoulder and the other on his arm that was still holding you.

“Fuck, Angel–” You looked like a goddess to him right now, using him for your own pleasure, grinding faster and faster until he felt your tense up, the elastic band in your belly breaking again, your vision going completely white as your walls clenched tightly around him, a new type of climax, one that would not compare to anything else in your entire life.

Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new, now, I've thought it through.

“Eddie–!” You screamed his name and he was moaning as he felt your walls sucking him in and he couldn’t hold it in anymore, your name falling off his lips in a chant, in a prayer as his own body stiffened, and he finally released himself inside of the condom, his heart exploding inside his chest as you both rode your orgasms with one another.

Heavy pants were heard all over the room, and Eddie held you up as your body felt a little wobbly from everything you just experienced. Your mind was almost gone, drifting away, slowly, your eyes heavy but there is so much you want to say, so much you want to do, but the fire was gone. For the first time, the fire was gone for a while.

“Angel–” He breathed out, and he felt you clench on him again, making him curse. “Don’t do that… Sweetheart, let’s get cleaned up…” He really didn’t want to move, but he knew you two were completely soaked in sweat, in rain, and that you needed to clean yourself. He helped you off him, pulling out of you earning a whimper from your part at the loss of him. 

He got up from the bed and he noticed the hazy look in your eyes. You were drained, he knew that, so he guided you into the bathroom for you to clean yourself up as he took the wet comforter off your bed for the two of you to lay on dry sheets at least. His heart was wildly beating in his chest, taking the condom off him and tying it up. He looked at the tissues that were on the other night table, grabbing some to put the condom inside to hide it in a ball of paper, before cleaning himself with some tissues. 

He heard the toilet flush, and he looked at the door to see you walking inside in still a dizzy state, and opening the sheets to finally get inside. He smiled at you, knowing how much energy was just drained from you. He pulled the sheets open to move towards you. You were looking at him, trying to keep your eyes open to talk to him, but only one thing came out.

“I want to kiss you…” He felt his whole body relax at that, leaning down to place a soft kiss on your lips. You gave a sigh out of relief as you immediately fell asleep. His heart was in his throat as he looked down at you, breathing evenly now, and he took a deep breath in as he laid down on the bed himself, and he looked at you again.

He never cuddled after sex. Cuddling after sex meant you cared for the other person, so he never felt the need to do such a thing, but now… He needs to keep you close. He needs to keep you with him at all times. He needs you to be in his arms at every time possible, because he can’t ever let go of you again. No, he can’t let you go.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to him as you mumbled something in your sleep, finally making you rest on top of his chest as he stared up at the ceiling. His heart was exploding, he knew that, but he wanted you. He really wanted you. He had wanted you for the past month. He got you, and it wasn’t enough, and he knew it wasn’t going to be enough. 

With a smile to his face, he closed his eyes, succumbing to sleep, knowing that tomorrow everything will change between the two of you, and there was no escaping it, no way of avoiding it. Now, it was time to face it all, and Eddie was going head first because for you… Everything was worth it when it came to you.

Do you want me crawling back to you?

End of part 6

A/N: So... yeah. Here you saw the reason why this fic is called Do I wanna know... and if it wasn't specific enough, it is indeed Eddie's feelings towards Reader.

I hope you liked this chapter, i hope you stayed far enough and always reblog your artists!

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[hauntedhowlett-writes]

title: my tears ricochet | part i

pairing: husband's best friend!joel miller x female reader

rating: chapter - t; full work - explicit (18+ MDNI)

word count: 7k

summary: after moving from new york to texas with your fiance, you expect to jump right into wedding planning with his help. when he claims to be too busy, he suggests asking his best friend, joel miller, to help you instead.

you weren't supposed to fall in love with him.

author's note: this story is a three part fic inspired by the song "my tears ricochet" by taylor swift. this first part is reader's POV, part two will be joel's POV, and the third part will be dual POV. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging or commenting!

chapter tags: modern au, infidelity, emotional abuse, the fiance is shitty, no use of y/n, single POV (reader), wedding dress shopping and other wedding planning activities, angst, arguing, alcohol consumption/mention, kissing, no smut. please let me know if i've missed any!

major work tags: modern au, infidelity, explicit sexual content, character death

You stare out at the manicured yard, watching as guests move about the grounds and waiters in black uniforms carry trays of food and drinks through the crowd. Your boyfriend -- wait, no, fiancé -- Alex laughs boisterously with your father, a hand on his back in easy familiarity. You know you should be down there with him given that this is your engagement party, but you were starting to feel overwhelmed by the constant smiling and greeting strangers and showing off your shiny new engagement ring that you needed a break.

The door opens and a man you don't recognize steps into the room, pale blue dress shirt stretched tight across his broad chest and a pair of wrinkled dress pants. He runs a hand through his messy dark curls.

"Sorry, I didn't think anyone would be in here," he says. As he looks you over, his brown eyes go wide with surprise. "Shit, you're the bride!"

You smile at him. "That's me," you reply. You hold a hand out towards him as you give him your name, his rough palm sliding against yours as he grips it firmly.

"I'm Joel Miller," he tells you. You know the name well, being that he's your fiancé's best friend. "Didn't mean to make our first time meetin' so awkward."

"No, no, it's not your fault. I've just been feeling a little overwhelmed with all the," you wave your hand towards the window, "festivities. It's great to finally meet you."

"I don't blame ya. They can get pretty stuffy down there. Congrats, by the way."

"Thank you." He lets go of your hand. "So, why are you hiding?"

He laughs, deep and full bellied. "Alex's mom doesn't like me much. I'm sure she was hopin' that we would stop bein' friends when he went to school on the other side of the country, but I’m like a stubborn tick."

"How could she not like you, Alex told me that the two of you have been best friends since kindergarten!"

"There may have been a few mishaps in high school," he says. "You ever tried eggin' your principal's house?"

"Can't say that I have," you reply.

"Well, it doesn't end well if you get caught." He looks out the window with a smile on his face. "We got arrested. Alex's dad had to bail us out. Probably had to throw some hush money around so that it wouldn't show up on his record when he applied to school."

"He's never told me that!" You say, laughing hard enough around the words that your stomach hurts.

The door opens and this time, Alex himself steps into the room. His serious expression morphs into a smile when he sees you and Joel.

"There you are," he says, crossing the room to kiss your cheek. He greets Joel with a hug, patting his back roughly. "What are you two doing in here?"

"I just needed a minute alone," you tell him.

"And I crashed her minute alone. Told her about the time we got arrested in high school," Joel adds. Alex's jaw tenses, his smile tight as his eyes flick to you, like he's worried about your reaction. "She laughed. It's all good."

"Right. Well, I came to find you because its time for the toast and dinner," Alex says. "Let's get back down to our guests."

A hand at the small of your back urges you towards the door before you can reply.

"Alex, are you listening to me?" You ask. Your fiancé looks up from his phone.

"I'm sorry, baby, I was finishing an e-mail," he says. He sets his phone down on the table, dark screen facing up, and gives you his full attention. "What were you saying?"

"I wanted to schedule the cake tasting. Do you have any free time this week?"

He grimaces. "I don't think I do, sweetheart. Your dad's got my schedule pretty packed."

"I can just ask him to--"

"No," he says sternly. "You know I have to make a good impression with the rest of the firm."

"But--"

"Babe, no. I can't do this week. Why don't you ask my mom? Or Joel?"

While your future mother-in-law is kind enough, you don't have much patience for the way she tries to take control of your wedding planning. Joel, however, might be a good idea. He knows Alex well enough to be a stand in for a decision like cake and icing flavors.

"Could you give me Joel's number?"

Alex smiles, seemingly pleased that he's off the hook as he takes his phone in hand and sends you his best friend's phone number.

You meet Joel at the bakery that week. To your surprise he's there before you, dressed in worn jeans and a t-shirt and he smiles brightly at you as you approach.

"Hey," he says. "Ready to eat some cake?"

"I think this will be my favorite part of planning this whole wedding," you reply. He laughs as he pulls the door open for you to step inside, following in behind you.

"Welcome to Buttercup Bakery! Can I help y'all with anything?" A young woman with a name tag reading BEVERLY asks from behind the counter, pink and white apron tied around her waist.

"I have a cake tasting appointment," you reply, giving her your name for the reservation.

"Excellent! If you want to go ahead and take a seat anywhere you'd like, I'll bring out the tasting options and we'll get you squared away in no time!"

She disappears through swinging doors as you and Joel take a seat at a pink acrylic table with matching chairs. He looks around the shop with interest.

"What made you pick this place?" He asks.

"Had the best reviews," you say with a shrug. His brow furrows.

"Alex didn't suggest it? He helpin' you at all with this weddin'?"

He says it with a laugh, but the question makes you dig your fingernails into your palm. "He's just really busy with work. I've been doing a lot of the planning."

“What about your uh, what are they called? Bridesmaids?”

“They’re all back in New York. It’s just me.”

“I thought your parents were here, too? Isn’t Alex workin’ with your dad now?”

“It’s just my dad, he’s back in New York. His partner opened a firm in Austin and Alex is working with that office. He’s hoping to make partner soon, too.”

Joel nods, eyes scanning your face but you keep your expression as neutral as possible. The swinging doors open and Beverly returns with a marble tray, bites of cake artfully arranged on the surface. She sets it on the table between you and Joel.

“Okay! These are our six most popular flavor combinations for you to start with and if there’s something more custom you have in mind, we can totally make that happen,” she says. “Starting at the top, we have classic vanilla with vanilla buttercream, chocolate cake with chocolate ganache and chocolate buttercream, our signature champagne cake with strawberry buttercream, lemon cake with lavender buttercream, caramel cake with caramel mocha buttercream, and white chocolate cake with raspberry jam and white chocolate raspberry buttercream.”

Joel grins at you. “This might be the best thing anyone has ever asked me to help with.”

“I’ll leave you guys to it,” Beverly says with a wink, walking back to the counter.

“I don’t know which to start with,” you say, eyes scanning the selections.

“That chocolate one is callin’ my name,” Joel replies, spearing one of the chocolate cake bites with a fork and taking a bite. He hums appreciatively. “Oh yeah, that one is a winner.”

You choose the vanilla to start, taking a bite of the moist cake with buttercream that tastes strongly of vanilla bean with a hint of cinnamon. The simplicity makes it good, but overall the flavor doesn't stand out to you. Joel continues to take bites seemingly at random while you opt to go around the tray in the order that Beverly introduced the flavors.

"Any of them stickin' out to you?" Joel asks when you've reached the half-way point.

"They're all delicious," you reply. "I think Alex would probably like the vanilla best, though."

"I didn't ask what Alex would like, I asked if there were any that you liked." He spears the remaining piece of white chocolate raspberry with his fork and holds it up to you. "Here, try this one next."

You eye the fork dubiously. "I don't think--"

Joel slips the bite of cake into your mouth despite your interrupted disagreement, smiling at you triumphantly. You chew the bite begrudgingly.

"I think that one and the chocolate one are my favorite," Joel says as you swallow.

Beverly returns at that moment, a notepad in hand as she pulls up a third chair to the tiny bistro table.

“So? What are your thoughts?”

“I think I’m going to get the vanilla,” you tell her. Joel’s jaw ticks, almost like he’s upset you’ve chosen the flavor that you said Alex would like. “But, could I get alternating tiers of the white chocolate raspberry, too?”

Joel’s lips quirk up in a small smile and you try to ignore the way it makes your stomach flip.

Joel: Have you picked flowers yet?

Not yet.

Joel: I know a place. You busy today?

You stare the at the message in surprise. You weren’t expecting to hear from Joel again, but his name on your screen has you fighting back a smile.

I’m not busy. When did you want to go?

Joel: They open at noon. Here’s the address.

“Baby, have you seen my blue tie?” Alex calls from upstairs. You drop your phone to the counter like you’ve been caught doing something wrong.

“Which one?” You reply, pressing a hand to your chest.

“The plaid one!”

“Should be in your tie drawer!”

“It’s not here!”

You pinch your nose, making your way to the stairs to join him in your shared bedroom. He’s standing in front of his tie drawer, hands on his hips as he stares at the contents. You peek over his shoulder and reach into the back, pulling out the neatly folded blue and green patterned tie.

He takes it from your hand. “That one should be towards the front. Can you remember that next time you put away dry cleaning?”

“Sure.” You bite your lip to hold back the sigh that threatens to spill. “You want me to tie it for you?”

“No, thanks, I need it to be perfect. Big meeting,” he says, his lips tilted in a smile that feels condescending. He leans into you, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Love you.”

“Love you, too,” you murmur, watching his back as he enters the bathroom and shuts the door behind him.

Joel is waiting outside of a dark green storefront when you arrive at the address he’d sent you. He smiles when he sees you, a true one that makes the corners of his eyes crinkle slightly, and it gives you this strange feeling of emptiness because you can’t remember the last time Alex smiled at you like that.

When you’re close enough, he pulls you into a hug that envelops you in strong arms and the scent of woods at nightfall with a hint of citrus. Your eyes flutter shut as you hug him back and breathe him in.

He releases you and immediately you feel a chill in losing his warmth despite the oppressive Texas heat. You look at the shop as he steps back, taking in the gorgeous floral arrangements in the window and cursive script painted on the glass that says PETAL TO THE METAL.

Joel opens the door to the shop, a brass bell ringing to announce your entrance. A man at the counter in the center of the store looks up and grins at you both.

“Joel! Nice to see you,” the man says. You watch as they shake hands with familiarity, the man behind the counter smiling kindly. “You must be the bride. I’m Frank.”

You give Joel a look of surprise before introducing yourself and shaking Frank’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you. Do you two know each other?”

“Joel’s an old friend of ours.”

“Ours?”

A back door bangs open, someone emerging with their arms so full of potted plants you can’t see their face. A deep voice let’s out a series of curses.

“This is my partner, Bill,” Frank says. “He’s not much of a people person. Great with plants, though.”

“A little help would be nice,” Bill grunts. Frank rolls his eyes but leaves the counter to take a couple pots from Bill’s hands, revealing a man with long brown hair and a grizzled expression hidden amongst a thick beard. Frank leans in and kisses his cheek.

“You need only ask,” Frank says. Bill’s cheeks turn pink beneath his thick facial hair. Despite the annoyed expression on his face, his eyes are soft as he watches Frank. “Let me grab you the event portfolio and we can talk about your wedding. Have a look around.”

As Frank leaves and Bill busies himself arranging the new plants, you and Joel wander the shop and take in aisles and shelves of different flowers with little gold name cards in their pots or on their buckets.

“So,” Joel says, “How are you liking Austin?”

“It’s…hot,” you reply. “Really, really hot.”

“That’s the south for ya, sweetheart.”

Your face grows hot at the endearment and how it seemed to just roll off his tongue. “Have you lived in Austin your whole life?”

“Texas born n’ bred,” he says proudly, puffing his chest out.

“You never wanted to live anywhere else?”

“I’ve always thought Wyoming sounded nice. A farm that I built, some sheep, no neighbors for miles,” he says wistfully. “Maybe someday.”

“Building a farm, huh? You good with your hands, Joel?”

He blinks at you. “Y-yeah. I mean, I’m a contractor. I gotta be.”

“That’s impressive,” you tell him, biting your lip to hold back your laughter at his flustered response.

Frank approaches, lifting a heavy book in his hands. “You ready to pick some flowers?”

Joel holds the door open for you as the two of you leave the flower shop an hour later. He waves goodbye to Bill and Frank with a promise to visit them for dinner soon before following you down the sidewalk.

“You wanna get lunch?” Joel offers. “My treat.”

You pull your phone from your pocket to check your messages and finding none from Alex, you think to yourself, why not?

“Sure,” you agree.

That's how you find yourself sitting on a bench in the park with Joel Miller, your husband's best friend, talking to him about everything and nothing as you eat street tacos from a food truck nearby. He makes you laugh so hard you choke on birria, the sauce dripping down your chin. He reaches out, wiping the mess with a brown napkin while he smiles so bright it puts the sun to shame.

Later that night, while you're in bed, you can't help but think today was the best day you've had in a long time.

And you're not sure what that means.

You begin texting Joel regularly. You ask him for his opinion on things that Alex can’t be bothered with — the suit colors for the groomsmen (navy blue), the invitation stationary (the linen finish), and favors (miniature bottles of hot sauce - Joel assures you this will be a hit with the Texas crowd). In between those conversations, he sends you pictures from his construction sites or asks you how your day has been and whether you had gotten the chance to check out that show he recommended.

When you tell Alex about the wedding decisions you've made, leaving out the extent of Joel's help, he hums and nods at the appropriate intervals, feigning attentiveness while his thumb moves rapidly across his phone screen. It should bother you, you think, that your future husband is so uninvolved with planning his own wedding, but then your own phone lights up with Joel’s name and a goofy photo he sent from a construction site, his hard hat askew on his head and his eyes crossed, and your annoyance with Alex fades into background noise.

There’s one last item on your checklist that you’re more nervous to ask Joel for help with than the others — dress shopping. You could probably fly back to New York and be with your friends for the momentous occasion but you’re certain that Alex wouldn’t appreciate your absence for something he considers so frivolous.

Not that you say anything when he’s gone for his golfing trips.

You’re staring at Joel’s contact screen, working up the nerve to call him and ask him if he’d be willing to come dress shopping with you, when it lights up with an incoming call, his name at the top of the screen like just your thoughts summoned him. You answer on the third ring.

“Hey, I was just about to call you,” you tell him.

“So that’s why my ears were itchin’,” he laughs. “You need somethin’?”

You take a steadying breath. “I just have one more thing I need help with and then you won’t have to deal with me.”

“I don’t mind helpin’ you, sweetheart.” You stomach flutters at the nickname and he clears his throat to fill the loaded silence that follows his words. “Now, tell me what you need.”

“Could you come dress shopping with me?”

“That all? Just tell me where and when,” he says. You breathe a sigh of relief, giving him the details of the appointment you made at a local boutique. He promises to meet you there this weekend before hanging up.

The word sweetheart in Joel’s deep voice echoes through your mind for the rest of the day.

Joel looks hilariously out of place on the pristine white couch located in the middle of the dress boutique, a dainty glass of champagne held in his large hand. You sit beside him, your legs touching as you watch the sales associate flit around the store, pulling hangers of dresses from the racks.

“That’s a lot of dresses,” Joel comments, taking a sip of champagne.

“You not up for the challenge?” You tease. He laughs, the corners of his eyes crinkling with his wide smile.

“Trust me, I’m up for the challenge. We’re goin’ to find you the best damn weddin’ dress Texas has ever seen,” he promises.

“Alright, I’ve got some gorgeous choices here for you,” the associate announces, holding up a handful of ivory hangers draped in all types of fabric from satin to chiffon. “You wanna follow me and we’ll get started?”

You follow her to the fitting room and she sets the hangers on a rack, fanning out the dresses so that you can get a better look. There’s five of them in a variety of styles, including an impressive ball gown boasting layers of tulle that trails to the floor.

“I’ll try that one first,” you tell her, pointing to ball gown.

“What’s your fiancé’s name?” She asks as you undress, taking the gown from the hanger and arranging it on the floor for you to step into it.

“Alex,” you reply. She drags the bodice up and instructs you to hold it to your chest while she laces up the corset back.

“I think it’s sweet that you’ve brought him with you.”

“Oh, no. That’s Joel, he’s my husband’s best friend.”

“Really?” She asks, the strings tightening around your waist. “The way you two look at each other, I would have bet money he was the one marrying you." You're about to ask what she means when she finishes tying off the bodice and says, "Wow, this dress is stunning on you."

Her comment retreats to the back of your mind as you look at yourself in the mirror. The strapless white gown hugs your chest and waist, flaring out into a layered skirt with lace appliques. There's beading on the sweetheart neckline that trails down the bodice in intricate patterns that catch the light of the fitting room. The dress is stunning.

Marnie leads you back out to the showroom, helping you step up onto a raised platform in front of a trifold mirror that shows you your reflection from multiple angles. You twist and turn, taking in all the details of it before finally facing Joel.

"Damn," Joel says. "That sure is one hell of a dress."

"It's...a lot." You twist your hips from side to side, the heavy skirt swishing across the floor. "I feel like a cupcake and I don't know if I'll be able to dance in it."

"You wanna test it out?"

He's standing before you can respond, reaching a hand into yours to guide you down from the pedestal. When you're on the floor, he wraps an arm around your low back, pulling you close while swaying side to side.

The world around you goes a little blurry and the only thing in perfect clarity is Joel. The feel of his hand in yours, the weight of his arm at the small of your back, the clean smell of soap and citrus, everything is just....Joel.

"How's it feel?" He asks, voice low. You tilt your head back to look up at his face.

"Huh?"

"The dress...dancin'...how's it feel?"

The question drags you back to reality, where you're currently dancing around a bridal salon with a man who isn't your fiance. You pull away from him, returning to the pedestal as the bridal associate joins the two of you again.

"Uh...I don't think this is the dress for me. Can we try the next one?"

You try on two other dresses in quick succession, neither of them leaving a lasting impression. It's the fourth dress that really gives you pause as you look at yourself in the fitting room mirror.

"Honey," the associate says, adjusting the off-the-shoulder sleeves of the dress, "This dress was made for you."

The scooped neckline highlights the lines and curves of your neck and shoulders, the corset bodice hugging your curves in satin folds. The skirt fans out from the waist, similar to the silhouette of the ball gown without all the additional weight and fabric and a thigh high slit allows for some extra movement.

She leads you back out into the showroom and helps you once more onto the pedestal. You grin at your reflection as she fixes the skirt into place.

"Well?" You ask, catching Joel's eye in the mirror. His mouth is set in a serious line, brows pinched together and his arms crossed over his chest. You own smile falters. "You don't like it? What's with the look?"

He shakes his head, his serious expression morphing into a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "You look..." His voice trails off and he clears his throat. "Alex is a lucky son of a bitch."

You laugh, lifting the skirt so that you can step off the pedestal. Joel's eyes drop, his gaze fixing on the skirt as you walk towards him.

"You think so?" You ask quietly, stepping in close.

"Yeah, sweetheart," he murmurs. A single finger runs down your arm, goosebumps erupting over your skin in its wake. "I know so."

With the wedding plans finalized, your attention returns to your work as a web design consultant. Your client portfolio starts to build once more, keeping you busy in the months leading up to your big day. Alex remains focused on his work at the firm, working long days and longer nights that have him arriving home well after you've gone to bed, the two of you just ships passing in the dark. You would feel lonely, you think, if not for Joel.

The two of you still message each other frequently, though you don't see him again until a month before the wedding, when Alex invites him over for dinner one Saturday night.

The doorbell rings just as you put the chicken in the oven and you wipe your hands before going to answer it, your heart racing. Joel's sweet smile greets you when you open the door and seeing him across the threshold has the tension in your shoulders easing the slightest bit.

He steps across the threshold, strong arms wrapping around your waist in a tight hug. Footsteps on the stairs have him releasing you far sooner than you would have liked.

"Joel, my man! Glad you could make it," Alex says as he reaches the first floor. "Honey, is the table set?"

"No, not yet," you reply.

"You need any help?" Joel asks. You open your mouth to respond, but Alex jumps in to say, "No, she's got this. Let me give you the tour."

You watch as Alex leads Joel upstairs, commanding his friend's attention. You swallow down the anger that rises in your throat at your fiancé's dismissal and return to the kitchen, gathering the place settings and arranging the table to his liking.

"It's a nice place," Joel says as the two men enter the living room, which opens to the kitchen and dining areas.

"All that work finally paying off," Alex comments. You roll your eyes, fighting the urge to mention that you were the one who fronted the down payment for Alex's choice of home in Texas. The oven beeps and you pull out the chicken parmesan that had been baking.

"Smells good," Joel comments. You look up, catching his eye. A wordless understanding passes between you, a quiet appreciation that makes your blood run hot.

You plate the food while your fiancé uncorks a bottle of wine and pours it into the wine glasses at each place setting. Alex settles in at head of the table and Joel takes the seat to the left, leaving you with the seat to Alex's right, across from Joel.

The three of you make small talk between bites of dinner and sips of wine. Alex asks Joel about the contracting work he's been doing, Joel asks him about his work at the new office and how he's settling in, being back in his home state. It's halfway through dinner that Joel looks to you and asks, "Are you excited for the wedding next month?"

"Of course," you reply, fingers tangling in the cloth napkin resting across your lap. "Planning it was a labor of love."

"Right, thanks for helping her with the cake, man," Alex chimes in.

Joel chuckles. "Helped with a lot more than just the cake."

"What do you mean?" Alex asks, glancing between the two of you.

"Well, I helped get the flowers, the cake, pickin' out the stationary. Dress shoppin'," Joel clarifies. Your stomach drops as Alex's jaw grows tense, his brow pinched as he nods and pastes on a forced smile.

"Wow, I didn't realize you'd been so involved," Alex says. He removes the napkin from his lap, setting it on the table. "Would you excuse us for a second?"

Alex stands, looking down at you expectantly. You smile at him and Joel in turn, but the expression feels hollow and you taste bile in the back of your throat. As soon as you're on your feet, Alex has a strong hand wrapped around your wrist, urging you along behind him as he makes his way towards the stairs.

Once he's reached your shared bedroom, he turns to you, eyes filled with rage. “What the fuck is that about?”

“What do you mean?” You ask. He laughs, the sound devoid of any humor.

“He helped you pick out your dress?” Alex paces the length of the bedroom like a caged animal and for the first time in your relationship with him, a frisson of fear courses through your veins. “You can’t possibly be that fucking stupid?”

“Excuse me?” You snap. “You told me to ask him for his help!”

“With the cake!” Alex shouts. “Not the entire goddamn wedding! Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?”

“You weren’t exactly offering much help, Alex!”

His eyes narrow. “I thought you would be perfectly capable of planning shit on your own, but I guess that was giving you too much credit.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask. “Why are you being such a fucking asshole right now?”

“Because you’re my fiancé, not Joel’s!” He steps in close, towering above you as he hisses, “Did you fuck him?”

“No!” You shout.

His eyes search yours and whatever he finds seems to extinguish his anger, his coiled muscles loosening. He grips your shoulders, pressing his forehead to yours.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “Why don’t you head back downstairs and I’ll stay up here for a minute to cool off, okay?”

The sudden switch leaves your head spinning but you manage to nod. Alex kisses your forehead and you take that as your cue to leave, escaping the confines of your room. In the hall, you grip the banister of the loft that overlooks the living room and take the first real breath in what feels like ages, your eyes squeezed shut as you try to calm your racing heart.

You return to the kitchen and Joel’s head snaps up when you enter. He rises from his seat at the table, rushing to your side.

“Are you okay?” He asks, low voice filled with concern, his brows pinched with worry. “What the fuck was that?”

“Just a misunderstanding,” you murmur, pushing past him.

“That’s bullshit,” he hisses. “Is he always like that?”

“Like what?” You sigh.

“An asshole. Yellin’ and threatenin’ you.” His fists are clenched at his sides. “He ever hit you?”

“What? No, of course not.” You take a deep breath, beating back the wave of tears pressing at the corners of your eyes. “He’s just got a lot going on with the move and work and the wedding.”

Joel is quiet, watching you with keen brown eyes that you, for once, wish weren’t focused on you. He steps close, voice low as he says, “Be honest with me, sweetheart.”

“I’m fine, Joel,” you tell him. The lie claws at your throat and sends your stomach into a tailspin. “I promise.”

Footsteps echo on the stairs and you step away from Joel, busying yourself with loading the dishwasher, clearing the counters, anything to keep your hands occupied and stop their shaking. Alex enters the kitchen with a sharp smile.

“Hey, man, sorry about that,” he says, clapping Joel on the shoulder. “I think we’re ready to call it a night. Ain’t that right, honey?”

You force yourself to keep your eyes on Alex as you smile and say, “Yeah, baby.”

“Let me walk you out, Joel,” Alex says. “Honey, say bye.”

“Goodbye, Joel.”

Joel: Hey

Joel: You having a good week?

Joel: Been a while. You doing okay?

Joel: You’ve been quiet

Joel: I need to know you’re okay.

Joel: Just let me know

Joel: Please

“Just two more days until you’re my wife,” Alex says, pressing a kiss to your lips. He smiles at you and you mirror the expression as best you can.

“I can't wait,” you reply.

"I gotta get going," Alex says. He presses a kiss to your cheek as he passes where you're sitting at the bar. "Love you."

"Love you," you repeat, out of reflex more than affection.

The front door slams shut and quiet settles over the house. All you want to do is crawl back into bed and pull the covers over your head in the hopes that it protects you from the way time continues to creep forward despite your uncertainties. Maybe, if you lay there long enough, time will move on without your involvement.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a heavy knock at the door. You’re not sure who it could be — your dad is scheduled to fly into town in the late afternoon and your friends arrive early tomorrow morning and you’re fairly certain you don’t have any deliveries scheduled. Sliding from the bar stool, you leave the kitchen to answer the door.

Joel stands on the other side of the threshold, haloed by the morning sun. For a brief moment, you wonder if you’re dreaming.

“What are you doing here?” You finally ask.

“Can I come in?” He replies, running a hand through his already messy hair. “I need to talk to you.”

You step aside and allow him to enter the hallway, shutting the door behind him. You avoid his gaze as you return to the living room with him following behind you. The silence that settles between the two of you makes you want to crawl out of your skin.

"Why haven't you been talkin' to me?" Joel asks. He takes a step closer, brown eyes searching yours for an answer you try to keep hidden.

"I've been busy," you say.

"Cut the bullshit," he snaps, surprising you. "Is it because of what happened at dinner?"

"No," you reply. Joel must sense the brief hesitation, hear the weakness in your voice. His eyes go soft, full of pity, and you can't fucking stand it. "Don't look at me like that."

"Look, I've known Alex a long time, and all those years weren't exactly peachy," he says cryptically. "I love him like a brother but even family ain't without faults.” He steps in close, his hands cradling your face in a delicate grip. “Tell me this is what you want," he demands. "Tell me that you're happy with Alex. Tell me that there's nothin' here between us."

The words are there, right on the tip of your tongue, but nothing can bring them to life. Your heart beats a frantic rhythm against your ribcage, the rush of blood in your ears the only thing you can hear. He leans closer, eyes dropping to your lips and you know what's about to happen next but you can't bear the thought of stopping him as he closes the scant distance between your mouths.

For the briefest moment, you allow yourself the chance to just feel. No thoughts, no panic, no worry. Just Joel's warm lips moving against yours, the trace of his palm from you cheek to behind your head, pulling you closer even though you're already tightly pressed to him. It's slow and deep, like he's trying to convince you down to your marrow that this is where you're supposed to be.

But it's not.

You push him away and he doesn't fight you, but the look he gives you damn near shatters your resolve. His eyes are dark, jaw tense, hands flexing at his sides like he's fighting the urge to reach out and pull you back, damn the consequences. Your eyes and throat burn with the effort of holding back the tears that threaten to spill.

"You need to leave," you whisper. "You can't do this, we can't do this. I'm getting married in two days, Joel!"

He runs a hand through his hair, pulling on the strands in frustration. "You think I don't know that? You think I don't lay awake at night thinkin' what a fuckin' asshole I am for fallin' in love with my best friend's fiancé?!" He shouts.

"This isn't love, Joel--"

"Don't," he snaps. "Don't you lie to me. I know it, you know it, hell, the fuckin' lady at the dress shop knew it!" He takes a deep breath. "I'm showin' you my whole hand here and you won't even lay down a goddamn card!"

"There is no card!" You shout.

"You kissed me back!" He counters.

You stare at each other for a long moment, like two scared, wounded animals. Eventually, one of you has to back down, retreat, lick their wounds until they've healed in a messy pattern of scar tissue that will serve as a painful reminder of what could have been.

Joel sighs, another pass of his hand through his hair as he says, "You know what? Fine." He turns to leave, the line of his shoulder lower, his head low.

A glutton for punishment, you call out, "Joel?"

"Yeah?" He asks, weary. Bone tired. You feel it, too.

"Will you still be there tomorrow?" You ask, unsure of which answer would be worse.

Another sigh. "Yeah. I'll be there."

The door slams shut behind him.

Your rehearsal dinner is torture.

This should be one of the happiest events of your life but all your energy is being directed at avoiding Joel like the plague. He moves through the crowd comfortably, having known many people in attendance for most of his life, and you feel like an unmoored boat, hoping a wave doesn't crash over you.

Alex sits beside you, drinking from a glass of whiskey as he talks to one of his uncles that has been praising him for landing the opportunity to work with such a prestigious law firm right after college. A dizzying rotation of people approach you through the night - friends who chatter excitedly about the big day tomorrow, aunts who ask when you think you'll have children, uncles who tell you that they're proud of you for landing such a successful, promising young man. It's those last comments that have you hiding a frown in your champagne glass.

It drags on forever, this constant stream of polite conversation and forced smiles. When you finally return to the hotel that you're staying at for the night, you start to feel like you can breathe again. You have a suite separate from Alex's for getting ready early in the morning and he walks you to your room, hand on your low back, a smile on his face.

"I'll see you in the morning," he says, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. "My almost wife."

The sentiment has bile rising in your throat and as he turns to leave you're blurting the words, "I can't do this."

"Sweetheart, you're just nervous," he says, voice surprisingly calm. He squeezes your shoulders. "You just need to sleep it off and everything will be fine in the morning."

"No," you tell him, shaking your head. "No, it won't be fine."

His smile drops, like a mask has just been removed. "Where is this coming from? Everything was fine at the rehearsal."

"Everything was not fine at the rehearsal!"

Alex takes the room key from your hands, unlocked the door and ushering you inside. He flicks on the light to the sitting area and takes a seat on the couch.

"What's going on with you?" He asks, exasperation dripping from his words. "What do you mean the rehearsal wasn't fine? Did you not like the food or something?"

You stare at him incredulously. "The problem wasn't the food, Alex! The problem is us!"

"There's no problem with us," he says. "Unless there's something you want to tell me?"

"What do you mean?" You ask.

He stands, coming close. "Is this about Joel?"

"No!" You snap, perhaps too quickly. "This isn't about Joel."

"Then what is it? Because as far as I know, we're a perfectly happy couple."

"Perfectly happy? Alex, you didn't even help me plan this wedding. Not a single minute of it."

"Not this again," he groans. "Sweetheart, let it go. I'm sorry, okay? Is that what you need to hear?"

Your jaw aches with how hard your teeth grind together as he dismisses you so easily. A deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth steadies you enough to say, "I'm not marrying you."

"Baby, please," Alex says. For the first time, he sounds panicked. "Don't make any rash decisions, alright? Whatever this is, we can work through it. If I lose you, I lose everything."

Maybe he's right. Maybe the stress of the last few months has just caught up to you.

"Okay," you whisper. He breathes a sigh of relief and presses another kiss to your temple.

"I love you," he says. "Everything will be okay after tomorrow. You'll see."

You don't say anything back, and he doesn't wait around for a response. He leaves your suite, the click of the door shutting loud in the late night silence. You stand there for who knows how long, wondering if he's right. Would everything be alright after tomorrow? Could you sweep those lingering feelings for Joel to the side in favor of the life you'd been building for the last few years?

You know what the safe choice is, but is it the right choice?

It's the morning of your wedding day and you've been poked and prodded with makeup brushes and your hair has been perfectly styled for the occasion. Flashbulbs have been going off on the cameras that are documenting your special day, capturing moments like your bridesmaids helping you into your dress and your dad's first look, a handkerchief clutched in his hand as he smiled at you.

For the first time in hours, you're alone in your suite. The makeup artist and hair stylists have packed up and taken their leave and your friends are downstairs, waiting for the limousine. You told them you would be just a minute longer.

A soft knock at your door has you realizing that you may have taken too long and you shout an apology as you rush to answer it. But it's not one of your friends on the other side like you had expected.

It's Joel.

Your mouth goes dry at the sight of him. His hair is styled, curls smoothed and slicked back into submission. His white shirt is a stark contrast to his navy blue tuxedo, matching bow tie tight around his neck. His boutonnière is slightly crooked where it sits pinned to his jacket lapel. He looks you up and down with a small smile.

"You look beautiful," he says. He reaches for your hand, fingers tangling with yours. Never quite folding together, but never quite letting go, either.

"Thank you," you whisper.

"Are you ready?" He asks. You wonder if he knows, if Alex told him or if he can just see it on your face.

"Yes."

It's a lie, one you've been repeating since your alarm went off this morning after a night of tossing and turning. His smile falters, but doesn't drop.

"Good, that's....good," he says. His hand leaves yours, and you feel like you've had an entire unspoken conversation that's left you both defeated. "Lets go get you married."

Joel Miller masterlist

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divider graphic by @saradika-graphics.

[jo-harrington]

Stranger Than (Fan)Fiction - Prologue: Crossover

Summary: Everyone wishes that they could have an Eddie Munson in their lives. In a strange turn of events, Eddie wishes that he could meet you, his favorite character from a cult classic 80's TV series. And he's about to get his wish.

Word Count: 3.9k

Pairing: Eddie Munson/Fem!Reader

Warnings/Themes: No-Upside-Down AU, Minor Angst, Fluff, Isekai, Mentions of FOI-compliant events

Note: Hello and welcome. I'm very excited about getting to expand on this idea; it's going to be a wild ride. Please note as you head in, and as we get into further chapters...this fic is going to be a little mind-fucky and a little bit self aware. This is my love letter to and my criticism of fanfiction, but at the end of the day, we're still gonna get to fall in love with Eddie and get some kind of Happily Ever After. This is my guarantee.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

May 2022. Such a weird time.

A time of uncertainty, a time of change. A time where the world seemed like it had been torn apart and was slowly being knit back together again.

But then a switch was flipped. Something happened. An old season ended and a new one started and with that start came something new. Someone new. And suddenly, countless people began to yearn for this new person in their lives.

A new, old person. Eddie Munson.

Joy ignited. Creativity sparked. Millions of words written and read. Edits made. Art drawn. Merch bought.

So many voices crying “why isn’t he real. WHY ISN'T HE REAL.”

If there was a god, he would let them have their own Eddie Munson. And if there was a Satan, he would let them sell their souls for Eddie Munson.

That’s just not how the universe works.

At least…not this one...

October 1985. A different kind of place and time. Still weird.

But Eddie Munson was real.

Sometimes to his detriment.

And for the most part, it was alright.

He played guitar, laughed with friends, mocked bullies to protect the people like him that were considered less than. He'd overcome hardships of one sort or another for most of his life, he could keep at it for a little while longer.

It would be his day week month year sometime soon.

Wouldn't it?

But until then, he would bide his time. Hopefully, this year, he'd pass all of his classes and finally graduate. Get to flip that douchebag Higgins off and snatch up a long-awaited, and well-deserved diploma.

What made it all easier, what softened the blow...was you.

It was silly. He knew that. Ronnie used to tease him on Wednesday nights when he needed to run home because he had a "standing date with his girl."

"Your girl doesn't even know you're alive," she'd scoff as he bustled her into the van. "She isn't real."

No...no you weren't.

Why couldn't you be real.

See, for the past...however long Eddie had spent his late nights half-assing homework, planning campaigns for Hellfire, working on music, and watching a television show. His guilty pleasure, a show about the ups and downs and upside downs of living in a sleepy suburban town: Port Geneva.

A show where you were his favorite character.

And crush.

You weren't the main character--in fact, you were just the main character's quirky best friend--but you were a fan favorite, as much as he could tell. You'd only been in the background during the first season, but before long you were front and just-left-of-center. And last year, you'd even gotten a two-episode arc in the season finale as you turned the small town on its head by announcing, a month or two before graduation, that you were quitting school to follow your dream and become an artist.

And man...Eddie had been there.

He'd actually missed those episodes airing when...well, when everything happened with his father and the heist...and the house...and Paige.

He'd missed a lot of episodes that season. Missed seeing you come into your own as he tried and failed to come into his.

Thankfully Wayne--and Eddie wasn't a believer but whatever deity in charge needed to bless his Uncle Wayne--had the foresight to tape those episodes for him.

Those tapes would be cherished 'til the day he died, because they had truly gotten him through those tough days after everything.

He wished he had seen them when they aired, maybe...maybe he would have made some different decisions if he had.

Of course, Eddie had already loved you before then.

Since he had first laid eyes on you, actually.

He was sure that if you were real, you would be the one to understand him more than any of his friends. See the real him. In return, he would understand you, be there for you too.

He already had been. He'd seen you cry countless times, he'd laughed with you, celebrated your successes and mourned your failures. He'd been there for you when you crushed on that dickhead Mark, and then had your heart broken by the careless jerk.

And somewhere deep down inside of him, when he was sitting in that jail cell after he wasted his phone call on Paige and he felt the weight of the world bear down on his shoulders…he wished that you were real so he could have called you instead.

If you were real, Eddie's life would just be a little nicer.

He knew…he just knew.

Of course, in the mean time while he wished with every fiber of his being that you would walk into his life, he brought you to life in other ways. During mid-season and summer hiatuses, he would write you into his DND campaigns. His friends knew, they always called him out for it.

"Are you seriously making her an NPC man?" Dougie would scoff and throw a D20 across the table at him.

"No, what are you talking about?" he defended and threw the die right back at his friend. "This is Spiria the Bold."

"Uh huh," Jeff rolled his eyes. "Sure."

By his imagination and his pen, you became a powerful warrior, a sharp-tongued trickster, a seductive mage. You became anything he wanted you to be--most often with a companion and lover that mirrored him--and everything he knew, deep down, that you were.

And then the unthinkable happened.

September ‘84. He and Wayne were in the checkout line at K-mart. Cart stacked with new clothes and school supplies and groceries. When suddenly...there you were. Right in front of him.

Alright, not you. Per se. But your face, smiling alongside Samantha and Patrick and Scotty and Bill on the cover of the TV Guide.

On Set with the Stars of Port Geneva.

Wayne was the one to snatch the magazine from the rack and add it to their bounty, a knowing smile on his lips as he shook his head.

He knew Eddie needed a little pick-me-up.

Or a big one.

How could he have known this would be anything but one...

Eddie scoured over the pages once they got back to the trailer. He was hoping there would be a big enough picture of you that he could cut out and tape to the otherwise barren walls of his new room. And there was; you were leaning against the back of your signature pastel blue Volkswagen Beetle, arms across your chest, head tilted to the side with the signature scrunched smile you gave when you were embarrassed.

He adored you.

Before he took scissors to the page, he read the interview with your actress.

He wasn't too keen on her, even though she had your face.

The illusion that Rosemary Glass was really you had been shattered the first time he'd heard her voice on a radio interview; instead of your perfect and familiar middle-American speech...Rosemary's voice was accented.

Not to mention, she sounded pretentious.

Gross.

Still, he could look past that annoyance if he got some kind of insight to what the next season would bring for you.

Hopefully not a new love interest. His heart could only take so much.

...gives us a tour of the Patterson and Son's set, one that is forever enshrined as the setting of Patrick and Samantha's first kiss. "Oh I'm actually not fond of that scene," Rosemary confesses. "Yeah it's sweet, and the way I bring Sam in so Pat could confess his feelings but the...when I fell down? It was not scripted. And I was honestly shocked they kept that in. But fans seem to think she's clumsy now because of it. That I'm clumsy. When I just tripped over a wire. It's quite awful, really." We ask Rosemary to tell us what she'll miss most, now that the show is coming to an end...

Eddie went rigid as he read those words.

The show...coming to an end?

"What?" he exclaimed into his empty room. "No, no, no."

He carefully examined the article again, then turned back to the beginning of the feature, only to feel his heart stop in his chest.

The title of the feature was like crit hit.

The final killing blow to his already weak constitution.

One Last Summer in Port Geneva - On the Set of the Final Season

The final season was a sham.

Eddie savored every episode, though. Of course he would!

He would enjoy every last moment with you that he could get before he lost you forever. But...he hated it.

It was lazy writing--seriously what were they thinking--and a quick, cheap means to tie up all the loose ends they'd set up over the years. He could tell they tried to deliver as fulfilling a finale for the extensive cast of characters as they could. Still, he was sure he could have done better.

Samantha and Patrick got engaged after graduation. That was lame.

Bonnie finally quit the bakery to open her own cafe the next town over. Didn't anyone remember that she wanted to quit because she wanted to be a vet instead? That was the whole point of her! She didn't want to follow in her family's footsteps and she was doing just that.

And you? You took a backseat.

Instead of leaving town right after graduation--something that you had followed through reluctantly to make your parents happy even though you had just resolved to put your own happiness first for once--you stayed to help Pat plan his proposal.

Your big adventure, your big push for your dreams, were on hold again. You played second fiddle over and over until the final episode.

Eddie was grateful to have you for a little longer, but...once again annoyed that you were looked over--over and over, just like he was--when you had already proved that you were worthy of top billing.

Worthy of being the main character for once.

Still, at the beginning of the series finale, you packed your bags, cashed in your savings account, and drove out of town. The future was yours, just like it was always meant to be.

And Eddie cried.

The whole time tears streamed down his face as you said your own watery goodbyes. He might have even waved as you stuck your hand out the windshield to say goodbye to your friends as your car idled at the last stop sign. You blew a kiss to everything you knew and loved then started on your way into the unknown, car getting smaller in the distance right before the commercial break.

He held his breath for the final scene: a walk through the house where it all started and then Sam smiled her signature hopeful smile as she shut the door on the audience.

The screen faded to black for one final time and he exhaled.

"It's over," he muttered in slight disbelief, suddenly unsure of what to do with himself.

Port Geneva was over, and you were gone for good.

It was a strange feeling.

Heartbreak, mourning, disappointment? He couldn't really know for sure. Empty was the best way to describe it; the lack of feeling. It was infuriating. Port Geneva was just a television show, he attempted to rationalize for the nth time since he started watching. You were just a character on a tv show; how could you mourn for someone and something that wasn't even real?

You hadn't actually died. He could still see glimpses of you if he wanted, whenever Rosemary Glass' next movie came out or something.

But that wasn't you.

You were gone, for all intents and purposes, and it was a blow that hit Eddie hard.

How could he go on without you?

Devastated, he got high that night after he stewed on his grief. He day-dreamed and monologued to an empty trailer about a universe where the two of you were together, where your travels took you to Hawkins, of all places, and you fell in love with him, just like you were supposed to.

If the walls could talk, they would have a fantastic tale to tell. One with heroes and misunderstandings and love at first sight. One with a horrible, unseen foe and many pitfalls and dangers that exceeded anyone's wildest imaginations. One with a magic door that led to the happily ever that was beyond well-deserved.

Grief did wonderful and terrible things, after all.

He woke up for school the next morning with cotton mouth and a vague outline of a story that did just that: brought you to Hawkins to fall in love with him and all of the other things that seemed like nonsense once he was in a more right-minded state.

The only problem was that it was all in his English notebook. And he didn't need anyone finding that.

"Fuck," he groaned and ripped the page out. He shoved it into his bedside drawer, where it would be doomed to a crumpled and forgotten future.

Or until he needed a condom.

Which, considering how everyone had doubled down on their disgust of him, wouldn't be any time soon.

But there you stayed.

Put away, like old obsessions and childish things, to be ignored and forgotten.

At least for a little while.

Eddie tried.

He did.

He kept you and Port Geneva out of sight and mind as much as humanly possible. It was the most effort he had really put to anything tangible in the past year.

The series ended at a weird time--during the middle of the season--and some investigative journalism show took over its time slot. Barbara Walters couldn't hold a candle to you, so it wasn't difficult for him to keep himself rooted in reality on the nights where he typically indulged in his silly fantasies.

The daydreams that he had were limited to lyrics for Corroded Coffin originals and ideas for Hellfire, and nights were spent alone in the darkness of the living room, with his reflection in the television set to keep him company as he tried his best to do homework that he'd already done before.

Before he realized, though, the school year was coming to a close and he was--big shocker--on the brink of failure. It wasn't until Higgins called him into his office, again, that you made your violent resurgence into his life.

There was a tentative truce between Higgins and Eddie for a while.

Civility was a strange thing for both of them. They actively avoided one another, save for a snide jab here and there, and Eddie tried to stay out of the Principal's Office as much as he could.

That is, until Higgins was forced to tell Eddie that he needed to repeat his repeat senior year.

"Don't act like I want this at all," he sneered at Eddie who tripped over a reaction. "I'd rather have you out of these halls for good. You drop out one year, then you re-enroll and you fail another. Try to make the most of it this time Munson; I don't want to have this talk again."

Eddie grumbled the whole drive back to the trailer, and he fell onto the sofa with his head in his hands once he got in.

"Which one of the fates wrote this stupid plot for me now, as if last year wasn't enough. You can't make this stuff up sometimes."

He laid there, wallowing in his misery for hours, days, years, until it got dark enough for headlights outside to be noticeable as they shined through the window. There was a glint of a reflection that caught his eye and had him turn his head.

"TV," he sighed and reached out as though he could touch the set and stacks of tapes neatly piled below. “The cause-of and solution-to all of life’s problems.”

He contemplated his life for a few more minutes.

He could make the most of the final few weeks of the school year. He could set himself up as a willing and reliable pupil for these last few assignments and tests, even though they wouldn't mean very much.

He could do all of these things so that when he walked into the halls of Hawkins High in the fall, on his absolute last first day of school--whatever deity or powers-that-be willing, because how "getting the hell outta dodge or he would die here" turned into "two extra years in that shit hole" he could only attribute to cosmic intervention--the faculty would already know he would try his best this time.

It would show them he was serious about graduating and that he would succeed despite all odds against him. Finally.

He could do this.

Or...

He could put in one of the tapes from the stack and scrounge for loose bills left over from his last few transactions and order a pizza. Pretend like he didn't exist for a little while.

And given the choice?

Eddie Munson chose the latter.

And he continued to choose the latter throughout the summer and even into the fall.

Nights that he didn't already have plans were spent in front of the television.

They were cherished nights with you.

Aside from his VHS recordings, he found a channel that showed reruns of Port Geneva after 10pm. Two hours of small town shenanigans that might very well be found just outside of his own door--if he only went and looked--with you just there, making your appearance every so often and catching his eye.

Homework was sometimes left halfway done on the coffee table until he needed to switch out a tape, or change the channel, and he spent more time filling his heart than enriching his mind, so to speak; he knew all of this school stuff already anyways.

Third times a charm and all right?

He talked to the screen more often than not, tried to warn you against one disappointment or another. Sometimes, if he was watching one of his tapes, he'd pause right on your face and just talk to you. Mundane things, usually, like Ronnie's last phone call home or some album that got released and a song he thought you might like.

Other nights, like tonight, he got vulnerable. Moments where life seemed a little extra trying, and he'd confess his feelings to your image.

Knelt on the floor in front of the coffee table, warm light bathed his face promising comfort as he spoke, and the din of static emitted from the television set, akin to an angel's voice...beyond understanding of humans.

He'd never been one for church, but this kind of confessional was sacred enough.

An eternal bond, just you and him.

He stopped his ramblings at that thought.

It was a strange moment of clarity.

Where had that come from?

"I..." Eddie looked down at himself, a foot away from the television set, remote clenched in his hand. Then he looked at you, soul-filled eyes just beyond the glass, not looking at him, only...through him, just past him. "What am I doing?"

What was he doing? He was...he wasn't a kid anymore who could hide in his dreams; well, honestly he was always going to do that, but this was different.

One minute he felt the weight of the world lift off his shoulders as he told you about his troubles, and the next it was all back, heavier than ever, as he realized how silly this all was.

And here he was, wasting his life knelt at your altar.

It wasn't holy. It was pathetic.

You'd never answer; you weren't real.

"Why?" he asked aloud, jaw clenched. He gripped the remote tightly. "What did I do to not have...someone? Huh? What have I ever done to be alone? That I have to rely on a fucking television character to feel understood. And now I'm losing my mind talking to myself, talking to you, at midnight every night. Why am I here wishing that you're real? Why couldn't you just...be...real?"

If there was a God, he would let Eddie Munson have you. If there was a Satan, he would let Eddie sell his soul for you.

And that's how he knew neither of them existed: you didn't exist either.

Eddie hit the eject button on the VCR and was about to shut everything so he could go to bed, when there was a crash outside.

Crashes in Forest Hills weren't abnormal--someone backing into trash cans, losing traction on the icy roads in the winter, and the one time Mrs. Dawson kicked her husband out and threw all of his things out the window--but it was something he'd gotten used to since he came to live with Wayne.

This crash, however, started a ruckus.

Someone was yelling and that stupid dog across the way started barking.

Eddie was a lot of things...but a dramatic gossip was definitely high on the list.

What else was there to do in the Midwest?

He grabbed his cigarettes from the bowl full of junk on the coffee table and stepped outside, fully intent on plopping down on the old couch on the porch to smoke and watch the scene unfold.

A car crashed into the telephone pole; didn't look like there was much damage but it had run through some trashcans and might have clipped the drivers side mirror off of Mrs. Mayfield's car. The same Mrs. Mayfield who was on her own porch being held back by Max as she yelled.

"Are you kidding me? It's fucking midnight!"

"Mom! Stop!"

"The car, Max!"

Maybe there'd be a fight.

He barely got his cigarette lit when he noticed--really noticed--the offending car: a powder blue Volkswagen Beetle.

He blinked several times and then rubbed his eyes, thinking it might have just been a trick of the light or something.

Or it was a coincidence.

Or a dream.

Maybe he'd had a heart attack and died in front of his television or something?

Plenty of people drove Volkswagen Beetles. He was pretty sure he'd even heard Nancy Wheeler asking her parents for one as a graduation present.

But with the same license plate number?

The same one from the show, the same one that was in the TV Guide all those months ago. The same one on the makeshift poster he had taped on the wall next to his bed, that he'd run his fingers over to "kiss" you goodbye countless times, just like he did to his guitar.

"It's just dark," he tried to convince himself, "and I'm tired, and...and..."

It was a coincidence. It was a dream.

He repeated the mantra over and over in his head like a lifeline.

It was another fan like him who just used fantasy to make their life a little better. That's all he was trying to do too, right? He could understand; hell, if this was a new neighbor, maybe he'd be able to chat with them about the show. Wouldn't that be something?

Eddie was so distracted making up endless excuses for himself that he didn't notice Mrs. Mayfield as she threw her hands up in the air with an exaggerated "I'm calling the police. He didn't hear Max holler at her mom to calm down, or see the tail lights of the Beetle turn off either.

It wasn't until the driver's side door swung open and a sneaker-covered foot crunched against the gravel that he forgot all the excuses he was conjuring.

And his heart stopped as the driver got out of the car and stood in the faint glow of the streetlight.

Because that driver was you.

Next Chapter: Alternate Universe

There is no taglist for this series, please follow the STFF Updates tag or check the series out on AO3.

[kesujo]

Chapter 6: Miss Pet - Part 2

Previous chapter here.

“How do you want it?”

The hopeful expression in Tiffany’s eyes was quickly overtaken by an excited one. “Really?”

“Uh huh.”

“Thank you so much, I love you, Master!” Although those three particular words caught him off guard, his attention was immediately brought back to the chipper, energetic girl in front of him, who elected to jump onto his lap. Her arms went around his neck while her tail snaked around her waist, wrapping around Seojun’s throbbing member.

Seojun jumped, his fist clenching as a shudder ran down his body. Tiffany shifted forward, her eyes shining with joy and lips curving upwards in excitement. She rubbed her object of desire against her sopping wet slit, a pleased hum filling the air, the submissive succubus’s eyes fluttering shut as a wave of ecstasy filled her.

So hard had she worked for the privilege of being able to rub her Master’s cock against her aching pussy that it was screaming its wish to be filled to its owner. However, Tiffany wanted to revel in the feeling first. Like some sort of masochist, she withheld that satisfying feeling from herself, indulging in the steadily growing sensation of neediness. That budding feeling of want gradually transformed into raging desire, which over time became an overwhelming need. Tiffany’s sounds of pleasure grew in parallel, her hums and sighs transforming into full-out moans, her soaked slit continually pouring its juice onto Seojun’s member, thoroughly lubricating it with another layer of a different form of her bodily fluid.

It was only when Tiffany’s lust grew to the turning point of the edging she was inflicting on herself that Tiffany finally gave in. “Master, may I…?”

Seojun could tell what Tiffany was doing, and although feeling Tiffany’s smooth, drenched labia rub across his entire length was amazing, Seojun himself was starting to feel a little impatient. The accompanying visual only added onto the appeal: the way Tiffany’s eyes grew increasingly crossed, the way her chest heaved increasingly more noticeably, the bits of her arousal increasingly seeping into her hums and sighs and moans, everything was a feast for the eyes.

As enjoyable as it was to see Tiffany basking in the pleasure of edging herself, Seojun was also feeling his patience wearing thin as his lust increased. So when he heard those magical words, reeking of desperation and desire, he somehow managed to mask his ecstatic response in the calm manner matching his role in their master-servant roleplay. “Go ahead, Tiffany.”

When Tiffany finally plunged down onto his cock, hilting herself in one fell swoop, the two let out such a sexually-charged, synchronized groan that Taeyeon, who was observing from behind, had moved her hand away from Seojun’s side and onto her own pussy.

In that instant, the lust that had built up inside the two burst out all at once. Tiffany’s head was thrown back, her back arched, her hip and leg muscles flexing and the hot walls of her vagina tightening around Seojun’s sensitive sex organ. She relished in the sensation, rotating her hips against Seojun’s crotch, the pleasurable friction from the action drawing out further moans from the two.

“Ahn! Master’s cock is stretching my small pussy so much!”

But while Tiffany was enjoying the fruits of her torturous labor, Seojun was enjoying the body of not only Tiffany, but Taeyeon as well. At his front was Tiffany, her lascivious body pressed up firmly against him and her hot, soaking wet pussy wrapped tightly around his cock, and against his back was Taeyeon’s less curvaceous yet equally soft body, the sounds of her gentle moans while she fingered herself joining the symphony of sounds of pleasure from her best friend and her servant.

Tiffany’s plump, inviting lips and big, expressive eyes paired with curves giving way to a body just begging to be fucked, and Taeyeon’s beautiful, spotless skin that stretched over her ample chest and tight butt, both bodies were simply to die for. In a previous life, Taeyeon and Tiffany would’ve been the subject of Seojun’s fantasies, but to feel both of them at the same time was even more stimulating than he could’ve ever imagined.

“Master feels so good inside me!” Tiffany’s alluring voice echoed inside the bedroom, vibrating with the cadence of her bouncing atop Seojun’s cock. Seojun himself was no slouch, hands tightly gripping her hips and burying his cock deep into Tiffany with each thrust. So far did Seojun penetrate the succubus’s pussy, spewing out further lubrication to counteract its increasing tightness, that he could feel the tip of his penis brush against her cervix with nearly every thrust. The resonating sound of Tiffany’s dampening butt, ripples coming off it from the force of their connection, joined in on the symphony of sex. “I love Master’s cock so much, please use me like your personal sex toy!”

Seojun had inadvertently been staring straight at Tiffany’s vigorously bouncing tits the entire time and was so absolutely hypnotized by the sight that it took those words for him to accept the invitation, diving down and capturing her right breast with his mouth.

“Master…”

The whimper escaped from Tiffany as Seojun’s lips planted kisses along her soft mounds, small sparks of pleasure erupting from every point of contact. Feeling the sheer softness on his lips was addictive, but even more so was Tiffany’s response: demure whines and moans, her back arching slightly to allow him easier access.

“Master, I’m supposed to be paying you back, not making you do more work…”

“It’s alright Tiffany, I want to do this.”

“Master—ah!” This time, an abrupt squeal escaped from Tiffany, Seojun taking Tiffany’s invitingly swollen and pink nipples into his mouth and suckling on them. “Master!”

While Seojun feasted on Tiffany’s tits, Taeyeon was pressing hers firmly against his back, taking advantage of Seojun’s exposed neck by planting kisses along it.

“You’re fortunate your Master takes such good care of you, Fany.”

“Master is the most generous, kindest Master one could ask for~” Tiffany agreed in an almost purr of gratification.

To Seojun, he was being anything but generous. His fingers were cheating further and further down to feel the soft butt bouncing so fiercely against his groin, his thrusts increasing arbitrarily with Tiffany forced to match his pace, his lips ruthlessly attacking Tiffany’s rack and mercilessly tugging and pulling at the pink nubs sitting atop her breasts just begging to be suckled on, each and every single one of his actions were driven strictly by his own desire.

“More, Master! Harder! Destroy my undeserving pussy, ravish my boobs, turn my ass red and my insides white!”

But it seemed Tiffany didn’t mind, in fact relishing in her Master’s selfishness, a never-ending stream of moans and words of motivation only egging Seojun on. He was completely lost in his own cloud of ecstasy, barely noticing the added feeling of Taeyeon’s lips pressing against his until he felt her tongue run against the wet membrane. The sweet taste flooded his senses, briefly confusing him before realizing what Taeyeon had done.

The older succubus had manifested Seojun’s lips on his neck and was making out with it, Tiffany watching on in jealousy. When Taeyeon noticed this, she looked up, eyebrow cocked. “You’re such a needy girl, Tiffany,” Taeyeon noted, her hand reaching up to tuck a few stray strands of hair behind the bouncing woman’s ear. “You have your Master’s cock in your pussy and your Master’s mouth on your boobs, and now you also want your Master’s lips on yours?”

“I-I’m sorry, Mistress…”

“I think you need some punishment later, but for now enjoy all the attention Seojun is giving you.”

Seojun came up for air, Taeyeon quickly moving her head back to make room for it. “You’re doing a good job of paying me back, Tiffany. Why don’t you be a good girl and turn around for me?” Tiffany nodded, the dejected expression on her face replaced with an excited one.

“Yes, Master!” Tiffany hastily unsheathed herself, her body shaking as bits of her honey leaked past her closed lips and onto Seojun’s crotch, before turning around and presenting her delectable ass to Seojun. “Master can sit back and relax and let Tiffany do it.”

“Thank you, Tiffany.”

His eyes were trained solely on the sight of Tiffany’s dainty fingers reaching across the supple skin on her butt and spreading those cheeks apart, carefully backing up, carefully lining up her entrance with his throbbing tip before splitting her labia lips apart with his shaft.

“Master!”

Tiffany’s sexually-charged yelp rang inside Seojun’s head, the pleasant sensation joining the added feeling of her moist walls gripping his cock tightly, gliding along the length of his shaft as it slid to the hilt back inside the younger succubus. Seojun’s arms wrapped around Tiffany’s waist, head resting on her shoulder, eyes closed while soaking in the divine feeling of Tiffany’s plush yet firm ass massaging the sensitive skin around the base of his painfully erect cock as she masterfully rotated her hips against the stubble around his privates.

“Mmm, fuck,” Seojun husky moan floated right into Tiffany’s ear, a shudder running down from the top of her head all the way to the tips of her toes.

“Master…” The submissive whimper arose from Tiffany as naturally as a whine from a wounded animal. Her hand reached down but was stopped prematurely by Seojun, capturing her wrists with one hand while the other snaked down, finding the hardened nub easily.

“Sing for me, Tiffany,” he whispered into her ear right before pinching it with his thumb and index finger.

And sing Tiffany did. The noises coming out of Tiffany’s mouth grew louder as Seojun’s fingers played with her clit and rubbed the sensitive lips split wide apart by his cock, louder again when he resumed the thrusting motion from before, and louder still when Seojun’s free hand traveled up and began massaging Tiffany’s boobs. Seojun was so absorbed by the pure ecstasy of Tiffany’s soft, curvaceous body reacting so responsively in his hands that his orgasm nearly caught himself by surprise.

“Tiffany, I’m—!” was the only warning Seojun gave before unleashing a torrent of semen straight into the waiting womb of the lewdly moaning demoness.

“Oh-Oh, oh god, Master!” Tiffany’s entire body tensed as she absorbed the generous feast supplied by the succubus’s servant, the seemingly endless stream of the delectable sustenance so overwhelming that it brought her to her own orgasm. “Master, it’s so much, I’m cumming too, oh—Oh, oh god!”

The final word came out as a scream, the arousal in her body overflowing onto Seojun’s cock mid-ejaculation. The warm feeling of her fluid on his sensitive sex organ on top of the feeling of Tiffany’s curvaceous body shaking so intensely against his own seemed to prolong his orgasm, a few additional groans and grunts leaking out of Seojun’s lips, the tugging and massaging motion of the fleshy walls of Tiffany’s relentless pussy milking the last few drops of semen from him.

“Who said you were allowed to orgasm too?”

Seojun felt a chill down his spine at the sheer coldness of Taeyeon’s voice directed at the succubus winding down from her orgasm.

“Babe, it’s fine, I’m glad she enjoyed it,” Seojun said, leaning his head back onto Taeyeon’s shoulder and bringing his hand around to caress her cheek.

Ordinarily, Seojun probably would’ve just gone with the flow and let Taeyeon direct everything; however, while the tension that had built up inside him had unraveled, his lust for Tiffany’s body still remained peaked. Looking back, Seojun would realize just how amazing Tiffany’s Trait was, but in the moment it felt no different than every other time—which only went to show how practiced and matured Tiffany and honed her Trait in her millennia as sex demon.

Feeling Seojun’s warm hand against her face, the size of his hand dwarfing the small size of the dominant succubus’s face, Taeyeon closed her eyes and smiled. “If you say so, honey.”

“Master—”

Tiffany’s eagerness was cut short by Taeyeon, the sternness returning to her voice. “But we’re resting now. You don’t want to make your Master black out again, do you?”

Tiffany frowned, the dejected expression overtaking her face pulling at Seojun’s heartstrings. “No. I’m sorry Mistress…”

“Good girl.” The compliment from the otherwise stoic Taeyeon immediately put a smile back on Tiffany’s face as she unmounted Seojun. “Babe, you can scoot back and rest a bit. The key to taking advantage of Tiffany’s Trait is to occasionally bring yourself back down, since it’s that high level of constant arousal that the mortal mind can’t handle and causes the blackout. Fany, come here.”

The two readily obeyed, Seojun taking his place at the head of the bed while Tiffany joined Taeyeon at the other edge of the king-sized bed. As Tiffany was still shifting into her position, laying down face-up with her eyes directed at the other succubus half-standing and half-kneeling between her legs, Taeyeon started.

“Mistress—oh my god!”

The loud gasp arose from Tiffany, her eyes shooting wide open as Taeyeon pushed four fingers straight into the curvier demoness. “But you still need to be punished for being such a greedy girl,” Taeyeon said, the devilish grin on her face so fitting and so damn sexy. “You want attention? Here, let Mistress give you all the attention you could ever need.”

“Oh my—oh god, fuck!”

The gasps and moans didn’t stop, Tiffany’s chest raising and falling with increasing frequency as Taeyeon continued her attack. One hand went to her clit, her tail transforming into a hand and heading straight for her boobs, massaging them with such strength that Seojun felt concern that she would end up deforming Tiffany’s rack. Fortunately, no such injury occurred, the increasing ferocity of Taeyeon’s punishment causing Tiffany to close her eyes, her fists clenched and her back arched, her legs shaking as Taeyeon’s four fingers relentlessly pounded Tiffany’s hole.

The sight before him was incredible: Taeyeon and Tiffany were both extremely attractive and sexy in their own right, but together, they had amazing visual chemistry. Seeing the determined, confident expression on Taeyeon’s face, watching the smaller succubus dominate the taller one, submissively mewling and moaning, her lewd body responding to her Mistress’s each and every action, both pairs of boobs jiggling beautifully at the increasing pace of Taeyeon’s assault, it was all enough to get Seojun’s previously softening erection raring back in force. He grit his teeth, trying to fight it off and resist the urge to start jacking off to Taeyeon and Tiffany’s steamy sex, not wanting to defeat the purpose of the break he was taking at the moment.

While Tiffany was too preoccupied with Taeyeon’s fingers to notice Seojun’s increasing lust, Taeyeon didn’t let it slip. She smiled to herself, briefly closing one eye for a second before opening it back up.

Seojun flinched, his vision suddenly becoming blurry; his right eye instinctively closed, a second image appearing before him. It was nothing like he had ever experienced: it felt like he was seeing a picture-in-picture except in real life, with the sight of Taeny from his vantage point on one side and a top-down view of Taeyeon’s fingers penetrating her glistening folds and sliding into the damp opening on the other. “Thought you might like this view, babe.”

“Wow … I didn’t know you could do this…”

Taeyeon grinned in reply. “Do you like it?”

“Yeah, it’s great—but I thought you usually had to touch the person whose body part you’re copying.”

“Not for my dedicated servant. Fany, it looks like you’re enjoying this too much; this is supposed to be a punishment, remember?”

“I-I’m sorry, Mistress! Mistress’s hands just feel so—oh!”

Seojun flinched again, except this time it was seeing Taeyeon curl her fingers inside Tiffany from Taeyeon’s vantage point.

“I think your Master is almost ready, why don’t you warm him up?”

Understanding the cue, Seojun got up into a kneeling position and presented his erect cock to Tiffany. Her eyes flickered away from Taeyeon and onto the sex organ hovering over her, the look of arousal deepening and her eyes narrowing at the sight. Her hands moved away from her sides and onto the stiff rod, firmly grabbing it while her head moved up so that her mouth could capture one of his testicles.

Seojun hissed as Tiffany’s hands started pumping the hardening shaft, her lips forming a tight seal around one of his balls and her tongue swirling around his scrotum. The double whammy of seeing Tiffany below him suckling on his balls while Taeyeon’s fingers pried the taller succubus’s hole wider and wider was insanely arousing. Seojun could only watch on in awe as Taeyeon managed to first push the joints of her fingers inside Tiffany, followed by her knuckles, and then finally the entire fist.

At that moment, Tiffany let go of Seojun’s testicles, a loud, resonant moan echoing about the bedroom. “Mistress, oh god, it’s so much!”

“Who told you to stop warming Seojun up?”

“I’m sorry!” she yelped in response to Taeyeon’s fierce thrust, pushing her fist as far as she could into the fleshy walls of her vagina, desperately stretching in an attempt to accommodate its guest. Tiffany lifted her head up a bit more, Seojun aiding by lowering himself a bit, so that her lips were level with his veiny cock. Her fingers were unsteady, her body involuntarily shaking from Taeyeon’s merciless fisting, but held Seojun’s manhood steadily enough to cover his shaft with kisses. One hand moved down to caress his balls, the other reaching behind Seojun to secure herself, her long tongue gliding along the underside of his shaft.

A strong surge of arousal sent a shudder down Seojun’s body, another hiss of approval escaping his lips as Tiffany’s mouth captured the first few inches of his cock. Though she was unable to take more in due to the position of her head, the masterful use of her tongue despite the increasing raggedness of breath and increasing tension in her body from another impending orgasm more than compensated for that fact.

“Fuck, Tiffany, that feels so good.”

Keeping his right eye closed, Seojun’s duo sight of seeing Tiffany craning her head to capture as much of his cock as possible and seeing her pussy swallowing the entirety of Taeyeon’s balled-up fist, sprays of her honey flying out with each pull outwards and her body jumping at each thrust back inside aided in his growing lust.

“You’re such a naughty slut, about to cum from getting your punishment.”

The increasing ecstatic sensation inside her heightened to a point that she could no longer sustain keeping Seojun’s cock inside her mouth, her breathing growing so deep that her mounds, although were no longer being massaged by Taeyeon’s tail-turned-hand, jiggled and bounced about nearly just as much. “I-I’m sorry, Mistress, bu-but I can’t help it because Mistress’s hands feels so good inside me!”

“What do you say, honey?” Taeyeon suddenly stopped, her eyes still trained below her, onto her wrist hanging out from Tiffany’s entrance. Tiffany let out a sharp whine, her body squirming and her hips wildly thrusting, attempting to compensate for the sudden pause. “Does this slut deserve to cum?”

“Let her cum, honey, she took her punishment well enough.”

“You’re so soft, babe.” For a brief second, Seojun wondered if Taeyeon was disappointed in her response, but seeing her smile vaporized that thought. “But that’s what I love about you. You better be thankful for your Master.”

Tiffany yelped as Taeyeon resumed her fierce pistoning with rekindled vigor, just barely able to squeak out the words, “Th-Thank you, Master!” before letting out a high-pitched, drawn out, beautiful note of ecstasy as her body succumbed to pleasure, her body shaking violently as her orgasm overtook her body.

Taeyeon aided Tiffany in riding out the orgasm, Seojun drinking in both the stunning visual of the breathtakingly beautiful and sexy Taeyeon kneeling between the legs of the extremely attractive and alluring Tiffany and the top-down view of Taeyeon’s fist disappearing again and again into the abyss of Tiffany’s pussy as streams of her viscous liquid leaked out of their connection and onto the soft material below them. Seojun pulled back, watching on as Tiffany’s orgasm died down, ending with a final shudder when Taeyeon extracted her hand from its wet, warm confines.

Tiffany laid on the bed for a few seconds in the afterglow of her climax, her chest still heaving from the intensity of the orgasm. After restoring Seojun’s vision back to normal, Taeyeon beckoned Seojun over. He proceeded to essentially exchange places with Tiffany, who scooted further up the bed to make room for him.

“You wanted more attention from your Master, did you?”

Those words sparked Tiffany’s interest, who lifted her head. Seojun couldn’t resist the urge to smile at the sight of the adorable excitement clearly visible on Tiffany’s face, the enthusiasm akin to a restless puppy hearing the word ‘outside’ or ‘play’. She nodded vigorously, earning a sly smirk from Taeyeon.

“Turn around, on your hands and knees,” Taeyeon told her, then whispering into Seojun’s ear, “Make sure you, yourself, are ready, babe.”

A shiver crawled all the way up Seojun’s body at hearing Taeyeon’s honey-sweet voice breathing the pet name into his ear. His face took on a red hue, his heartbeat revving up to already dangerously high levels—Taeyeon, sensing this, could only giggle to herself. “O-Of course,” Seojun found himself stuttering, biting back another moan at the feeling of Taeyeon’s ample bosom pressing against his back.

Taeyeon’s hands reached down and wrapped around his shaft as Tiffany turned around and presented her perfectly shaped bubble butt to her Master. “Like this?” Tiffany asked, her neck craning backwards to make eye contact with her Mistress.

“Take a look at that. Doesn’t our Fany have such a sexy butt?” Taeyeon’s hand reached about Seojun and landed on the supple flesh on her rear, Tiffany yelping in response.

“She sure does,” Seojun said in agreement, his hand joining Taeyeon’s almost subconsciously, feeling up the soft skin beneath his palms.

“Master … Mistress…” Tiffany whimpered, her eyes already showing clear signs of aphrodisia.

“It’s so nice and round, and her skin is so taught and white … doesn’t it just make you want to violate it?”

The harsh words coming from Taeyeon’s contrastingly relaxing voice caused a spike in his levels of arousal. “It does,” Seojun agreed once more. Tiffany’s whimpers increased in volume, her legs beginning to shake and slivers of precum starting to dribble out of the succubus already turned on beyond belief.

“Master, please…”

Although Seojun had no problems with Tiffany being mostly in control in their night-long sex session, hearing Tiffany make such submissive noises was just as tantalizing. Accompanying the subservient whimper was a surge of power and control that Seojun felt only one other time with Taeyeon and with Yeoreum, so convincing that Seojun completely forgot that Tiffany was supposedly putting up an act.

“Face forward, and no looking back.” Tiffany reluctantly obeyed, planting her face on the pillow, mewling and whimpering as the pair continued to enjoy the soft firmness of her bottom. “Carefully, OK?” Taeyeon whispered to Seojun.

Before he could ask what she meant, he felt the distantly familiar sensation of the fingers on his left hand melding together, looking to confirm that Taeyeon had used her Trait to copy his penis onto his hand.

So this is what she meant.

“You want this?” Seojun teased, brushing the tip of his cock against her labia, her plump cheeks spread apart with the help of Taeyeon.

“Yes! Please, Master!” Her body shook along with her voice from pure need, her hips pushing back, gyrating against the length of his cock pressed against her wet slit.

“You’re such a needy slut, aren’t you?”

“I-I’m sorry, but I can’t help it because Master’s fucks me so well and Master’s cum feels too good inside me!”

“Inside where? Your pussy,” Seojun said, teasing the entrance to her vagina, “or your ass?” He pulled away, using the cock on his hand to tease the puckered hole above.

“Inside … I-Inside … I’m sorry Master, I can’t decide, Master’s cock feels amazing in both!”

“If you can’t decide, then I’ll just use both!” At the last word, without warning, Seojun promptly shoved both cocks into their respective holes.

“Ah, Master! Oh god, FUCK!”

Tiffany’s ecstatic scream resonated inside Seojun’s eardrums, himself grimacing at the combined feeling of her sphincter muscles squeezing his cock so tightly as well as her hot, wet walls hugging the circumference of his dick, massaging and tugging on it, as if trying to pull him further in. Seojun obliged, his right hand tightly gripping her waist as he pushed both penises into each of the tight holes until he had completely sheathed them inside her.

“Fuck, Tiffany…” Seojun groaned, pulling his dick out of Tiffany’s pussy until barely a centimeter was left inside, his arm pushing the other penis hard against her cervix to serve as a counter-balance, before firmly shoving his entire length back in. Tiffany let out another sharp moan, her back arching at the influx of ecstasy. “Is Master giving you enough attention now?”

“Yes—ah!” Tiffany’s response was cut off when Seojun alternated, extracting his dick from her ass while firmly pushing the original against the back of her vagina. “I-I love Master’s cocks inside me!”

“You’re such a dirty little whore for enjoying the feeling of your Master’s dick in both of your slutty holes, aren’t you?” Taeyeon egged her on, herself growing wet at the sight of her best friend’s vagina and backdoor being simultaneously penetrated by her servant.

“Yes! I’m Master’s little cumslut! I love feeling Master’s cock ravage both of my slutty holes!”

It took some getting used to, securing himself with only one hand, but Taeyeon being pressed up so firmly behind him helped. He soon got into the rhythm of alternating thrusts between his left arm and his hips, and when he did, Tiffany became not much more than a mewling, moaning mess.

The two were so preoccupied with each other that they didn’t even notice Taeyeon preparing in the background, snaking her tail around to Tiffany’s front while picking up Tiffany’s arms and placing them on her own forearm. It wasn’t until both of Taeyeon’s hands as well as her tail transformed into more copies of Seojun’s penis that Seojun noticed Taeyeon was doing something, and it wasn’t until Tiffany felt the soft tip of Seojun’s otherwise rock-hard dick that she noticed something.

“I noticed you still have a hole left unfilled, why don’t I fill that for you?”

“Oh! Thank you so much, Mistress!” Tiffany jumped at the opportunity to fill her mouth with the same cock that was stretching her pussy and asshole at the same time, planting a few kisses on the sensitive tip and dribbling on some saliva before attacking the stiff rod with her mouth.

Seojun swore loudly, another surge of pleasure expanding inside his body at the feeling of the third warm, tight cavern suffocating his cock.

“Do you like that, babe?” Taeyeon whispered into his ear, sensually rubbing her breasts against his back. In most cases, the feeling of her hardened nipples drawing random lines on his skin would drive him crazy, but his mind was already so preoccupied with pleasure from all three of Tiffany’s holes that he barely registered it.

“Yes, fuck, Tiffany feels so good on my cock.”

Tiffany let out a muffled noise of joy, the words of encouragement pushing her to become more aggressive with the cock wedged deep down her throat. In addition to the satisfying, crisp sound of Tiffany’s voluptuous ass slapping against his groin, another sound soon joined the cacophony of sex sounds: the wet gargling and slurping noises, and occasional gagging noises, of Tiffany’s mouth as she deepthroated his painfully hard erection.

“How about we add more?”

“What? More?”

Instead of answering with words, Taeyeon elected to answer with her actions, turning both of her hands into yet more copies of Seojun’s penis. “Get your hands working, Fany.”

Understanding the prompt, Tiffany shifted her hands down and, to her delight, found yet another pair of her favorite phallic object against her palms. She immediately got to work, her thumb caressing the swollen tip of his dick while the rest of her fingers wrapped firmly around the shaft, her soft palm flush against its veiny surface, and pumped.

At that point, Seojun’s mind was so overwhelmed with pleasure that he completely lost the ability to think. His hips and left hand continuously pounded Tiffany from the back, Tiffany herself helping by matching his increasingly wild rhythm, his upper body slumped against the marshmallow-y skin of Tiffany’s back, his right hand reaching around and groping her tits with the same force at which her body shook with absolute, sheer ecstasy.

Tiffany herself was starting to become overwhelmed; multi-tasking as she was currently doing wasn’t the issue, as she enjoyed the occasional gangbang on more than one, perhaps even more than a hundred, occasions, but it was the sheer excitement from the impending orgasm Tiffany could feel Seojun rapidly approaching.

Although Seojun could feel a tension in his nether regions, he could barely register it: the hot walls of Tiffany’s pussy convulsing around his hardened shaft, the tight grip her sphincter muscles had on the base of his dick, the continual spray of fluid from both her pussy and her mouth onto his shaft as they relentlessly pounded her, the tension of her throat as his dick traversed deep inside her mouth, and the softness of her fingers and palms juxtaposing the harsh jerking motion of her hands, rubbing along the entire length of his shaft as if coaxing out his seed.

“This is where you belong, getting fucked in all of your holes by your Master’s cock, using your two free hands to pleasure two more of them. Are you getting enough of your Master’s attention now?”

“Mmm!” Tiffany’s response was muffled by the cock occupying her oral orifice, completely lost in a sea of pleasure. It became a viscous feedback loop: Seojun’s movements would make Tiffany hornier, which would make her movements wilder, which in turn increased Seojun’s arousal and would cause him to become wilder.

“You want to feel your Master’s cum pouring down your throat and directly into your slutty pussy and asshole?”

“Mmm!”

“You want to feel your body coated in a layer of your Master’s thick semen?”

“Mmm!”

“Fuck, Tiff—!” was Seojun only warning before the tension in his lower abdominal area unraveled all at once.

Every single penis exploded simultaneously, the influx of the delicious sustenance into Tiffany’s body throwing her body into a state of overdrive. The entire room filled with the high-pitched noise of her scream as her pussy, her ass, and her throat was filled with wave after wave of semen, the additional dicks shooting the viscous fluid at first onto her back and sides, then transitioning to her neck, clavicle, and tits. Her mind was filled with nothing but sex and the immaculate taste of Seojun’s semen, not even noticing that they had shifted her onto Seojun’s lap so that she could more easily ride out her own orgasm.

“Master, oh god, Master…” her mouth, now unplugged by the cock still lodged inside her vagina and butt, rambled incoherently, the waves of ecstasy rolling inside her body long after Seojun’s orgasm calmed down. “Master’s semen is so good, I can’t—oh, oh god, Master!”

Another squeal and another orgasm directly following the previous as her body continued to process the high-quality semen, her body shaking violently against Seojun’s as the second orgasm wracked her body. It wasn’t until a full minute passed that Tiffany’s orgasm had finally completely subsided, by which all body parts that had transformed into Seojun’s cock were reverted to their original state.

At this point, Seojun was starting to feel the onset of exhaustion, but the warm walls of Tiffany’s pussy massaging his cock, tugging and pulling on it as if requesting another round, fought it off well.

“Wow, fuck, that was so intense,” Tiffany said, taking a moment to catch her breath, lazily leaning against Seojun’s chest and scooping the viscous bodily fluid off her breasts, neckline, and sides into her mouth. “I can’t remember the last time I had consecutive orgasms like that.”

“Right?! Isn’t he worth your life-long pact of never designating a Servant?”

Tiffany giggled. “What do you mean ‘pact’?” Hearing the beautiful noise was immensely pleasing to Seojun’s ears, perhaps equally as pleasing as her screams of ecstasy—although in a completely different manner. “It’s just that, I didn’t want to give up the freedom to have a diverse taste of semen from all sorts of men, but…”

“Hm? But what?”

“Well, the taste of ‘Master’s’ cum never bored me, which has never happened before after spending an entire night feasting on it.”

“Y-You don’t have to call me that anymore.”

Hearing Seojun’s innocent stammer elicited another beautiful giggle from the succubus whose pussy was still straddling his cock. “Why not?” she said playfully, teasing the erect shaft by grinding a bit against his groin. Seojun furrowed his eyebrows, a groan arising from him at the unexpected movement.

“I don’t know, Tiffany; it just feels weird, somehow…”

“Oh, and you don’t have to use honorifics with me like with Taeyeon,” Tiffany said, getting up and unplugging the last remaining hole. She turned around and sat on the bed, facing them, Taeyeon resting her arms on Seojun’s lap and her head on his shoulder. Seojun could feel his face turn bright pink at the intimate actions of what was supposed to be his actual Mistress, but doing his best to look Tiffany in the eye nonetheless.

“OK, Ti—Tiffany.”

Said succubus smiled, her eyes disappearing into thick, black, upside-down crescent moons. Seojun felt his heart skipping another few beats. Thank god his body had already been modified, or else he might’ve had a heart attack and died right then and there. “Much better! I think I decided, I’m going to make you my Servant too.”

Although it was Taeyeon who was pressing Tiffany to do so, it was her jaw that dropped the most. “Wait, really?”

“What? You were the one who told me to!”

“Is there no, um, restriction for being a Servant to multiple succubae?”

Taeyeon pondered the question. “Hmm, not to my knowledge. Tastes tend to vary wildly between succubae, so there aren’t usually many cases where two will want the same man as her Servant. I heard that there are diminishing returns on the physical benefits of being designated Servant of multiple succubae though; your physical body won’t improve as drastically as it did the first time, but your lifespan still increases by some amount, but not by as much. Maybe a couple hundred years.”

“Should we get started now?”

“Wait, Tiffany; how much do you know about the ritual?”

Tiffany huffed indignantly. “I can do it, you know. I did have a Servant in the past in my earlier days, but he didn’t last long.”

Taeyeon sighed. “Well, the ritual is all about attuning your bodies and life forces to each other, as well as implementing any physical modifications to the Servant. For a normal human, becoming a Servant isn’t an issue because their life force is untouched and therefore extremely malleable; however, with Seojun, it has already been attuned to mine, which will make it harder to also become attuned to yours.”

Tiffany’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion—but however confused Tiffany was, Seojun was even more so. ‘Life force’? ‘Attunement’? Maybe he should’ve asked more about it that one time Taeyeon mentioned it. “What? How?”

“Attuning two life forces is a process that involves adjusting and changing bits of Seojun’s life force to weave together with mine. That’s why attuning to someone else would be harder.” When Tiffany remained silent, no less confused, Taeyeon continued, “Imagine each of our life forces as a bundle of strings. One of the things the Servant ritual does is to tie these strings together; now, if Seojun wants to attune to you, he’ll have to untie some of those strings attached to me before he can tie some of his strings with you.”

“Oh, I see…”

“This process of untying the strings can have some serious strain on a human body, not even mentioning how Seojun’s body might physically alter again during the ritual. So, just in case, what we’ll have to do is train up your physical body. Luckily, I’m still your personal trainer, so I can give you all the private sessions you need.”

Hearing those words increased the intensity of his flush, while simultaneously hardening his growing erection.

Taeyeon, noticing this, grinned. “So, are you ready for another round?”

[reallchristine]

ENERGY ─ chapter two

pairing: logan howlett x !f!reader

Set during x-men (2000) and X2

warnings: angst, hurt, violence, bad grammar?😭, basically the plot of the first movie!

previous chapter <- -> next chapter

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You stand, unable to move as you watch your younger sister lying against the bedroom wall you shared. She utters your name in shock, clutching her chest in pain.

“No, no, no...” You shake your head as your mumbles turn into shouts, watching your sister struggle to breathe.

“Please!” You cry, choking on your sobs as you try to break the unforeseen barrier.

Trying to fix what you’ve done.

But it’s too late.

You jolt awake, sweating and gasping for air. You look around, only to be met with the darkness of your bedroom.

The memories of the accident haunt your dreams. You tried burying the thought of what happened in the past, but it follows you, acting as a reminder of what you’ve done.

Starting to calm down, you slide out of your blankets, put on the slippers that are on the floor beside your bed, and make your way out of your room and down the steps. You enter the hall and finally through the doorway of the kitchen.

You pour yourself a cup of water and sit on the stool, gulping down the water as you try not to think about the recurring dreams that wake you up at night. Instead, you think about the information Jean told you before you headed to bed.

She wanted to give you an update on what they found after Logan’s x-ray. Apparently, his bones were bonded with adamantium metal, and he was able to withstand the process because of his mutation, recalling what Jean had told you.

Before you can continue with your thoughts, you look up to see Logan entering the kitchen.

“Hi,” you say, greeting him with a timid smile.

“Hey.” he replies, as he starts to look around the kitchen.

“Uhm, are you looking for something?” you ask, watching him open the fridge and then close it right after. He turns to you, “Got any beer?”

“This is a school,” you say, staring at him.

“So, no?”

“No.” You reply, shaking your head as you find yourself amused by his odd question.

“If you want something to drink, there’s soda in that cupboard,” you tell him, pointing to its location. He walks up to it, opens the small cupboard door, and reaches for a soda.

“Thanks,” he says, twisting the bottle cap open as he takes a seat across from you. “So, you’re a teacher at this school?” he asks, striking up a conversation.

“Yup, I teach chemistry,” you reply.

“Chemistry, huh,” he says while taking a swig of his drink. He asks another question, “And how’s that working out for ya?”

“Surprisingly well,” you respond with a shrug, pausing as you continue. “I mean, I enjoy science, and I like being able to work with kids, so it’s nice.”

“Looks like that’s going nicely for you,” he says with a bit of humor in his tone.

“I guess you could say that,” you answer, moving off the stool you were sitting on to put away the now-empty cup.

“Anyways, I should be heading back to bed.” you tell him, walking towards the kitchen door.

“Me too,” he replies, letting out a sigh and throwing away his empty bottle, following you.

You both make your way up the stairs heading to your separate rooms.

“Goodnight, Logan.” you say with a sleepy smile.

“‘Night,” he replies, watching you enter your room before he enters his.

You return to your blankets to get some more rest, checking the clock on your nightstand before shutting your eyes: 1:02 a.m.

Turning in bed, you quickly sit up, awakened by the sound of someone screaming.

You run out of your room to see a crowd forming in front of Logan’s bedroom. You rush into the room only to find Rogue using her powers on Logan.

“Everyone back to your rooms!” you say, some kids doing as you asked while others continue to stay.

The others rush into the room after you. Ororo now stands by your side as Scott switches on the lights.

Rogue lets go of Logan as he falls to the ground. “It was an accident.” she says, quickly turning to you and walking away.

The morning after the events of last night leaves you drained. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you prepare to set up the classroom for a new lesson.

Students start coming into your class once the bell rings, sitting at their designated seats. The last of your students to walk through the door is Rogue.

You smile at her when she enters. Rogue quickly takes a seat at her desk as you begin your lesson.

As your students finish the last bit of their notes, the bell rings, indicating the end of class. They pack up quickly, saying goodbye as they leave your class.

“Rogue!” you call as she turns to you, stopping just before the door. “I wanted to ask how you’re doing?”

“I’m fine,” she answers timidly.

“I know what happened last night wasn’t your fault,” you pause, “It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

She stares at you.

“Look, I know how it feels to be scared of your mutation,” you tell her.

“No, you don’t,” she replies, shaking her head.

“Trust me, I do,” you say, raising your hand between the two of you as you start forming a small ball of energy in your hand. “I wasn’t able to control my mutation before, and honestly, I’m scared that sometimes I still can’t,” you tell her as the ball of energy slowly disappears.

You continue, “But this place, this school, it helped me. It gave me opportunities I thought I could never have in this cruel world.”

“Which is why I don’t want you to think you’re less than anyone here. You have the same opportunities as everyone else at this school. You deserve to thrive,” you tell her with a smile.

“Thank you.” she says, returning the smile.

“Of course, Rogue-” you say.

“Marie.” she corrects quickly.

“I’m always here if you need me, Marie.” you say to her. She smiles and walks out of your class as the bell rings for your next class.

As the school day finally finishes, you start to clean up the papers left on your desk.

“Y/n!” Ororo says, bursting into your classroom.

“Ororo? What is it?” you ask, confused.

“It’s Rogue. She ran away,” she tells you.

“What?! I just talked to her earlier,” you say.

“Charles found her at a train station. Logan’s already on his way there. Scott and I are going to follow. You should come,” she tells you.

“Alright. But my mutation—”

“You’re going to be fine,” she reassures you. You nod at her as you both walk out of your class.

When you arrive at the station, you walk up to the front desk with Ororo while Scott look’s around.

“She’s about 17, um, my height, and has brown hair,” she tells the man at the ticket booth. You stand close behind her as she continues to speak, when you suddenly hear large footsteps approaching the both of you.

You turn around only to be met with Sabertooth.

“Ororo—” you say before you are grabbed into a chokehold and smashed against the glass.

“Scream for me,” he says.

Ororo, who was caught off guard, tries to use her powers but is suddenly knocked out by Sabertooth, who grabs her and throws her against the wall before dropping you to the floor.

Scott rushes toward you both, pushing people out of the way, only to be stopped when his visor is grabbed, making him shoot a hole in the roof of the station.

You hastily get up with a groan, your neck and head throbbing as you start to build up energy in your hands, stretching your arms and creating a blast of energy.

You fire it toward Sabertooth as he breaks through the wall, hitting the ground from the blast.

You run toward Ororo, who is slowly getting up from the ground. “Are you okay?!” you ask, helping her up.

“Yeah,” she responds, rubbing her head and taking your hand.

“Come on, let’s get Scott,” you say, holding her up while your eyes scan the area for Scott.

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a/n ── this still needs to be proof read! But omg was I struggling to write this chapter😭 I’ve been so busy the past month so forgive me for that😣 I haven’t set a schedule yet for this series but I’ll let u guys know! Also some of the @ are not working for the taglist so just message me if you want to be added!

🏷️: @cxptainbuck @thecraziestcrayon @marvelgirlie-4 @ravenslvt @malfoys-demigod @byhuenii @avatarobsessedgirly @kinokomoonshine

[nerdallwritey]

Perfect Every Time

Summary: You got up and joined him in the ankle deep water. “Do you want to try right now?” Astarion thought for a moment and clicked his tongue. “I have a better idea, actually.” He gave you a sideways look, his lips quirking up slightly.  “What?” you matched his smile. Rather than answering, Astarion reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head.  You furrowed your brow. “Looks an awful lot like you’re preparing to swim.” He started fiddling with the clasps on his pants and groaned in your direction. “Swimming is not the only thing one can do while submerged in water, dearest.” He gave you a sensual smile that sent heat to your cheeks.  OR Before your party travels into the Underdark, you and Astarion catch one last sunrise together.

Pairing: Astarion x f!reader Rating: 18+ Word count: 7.2k CW: smut, reader is new to sex, hand job, piv sex, water sex, dirty talk, mentions of Astarion's past trauma, blood drinking, extra mild angst, soft Astarion, porn with feelings, reader is an idiot (and a bard), so is Astarion (not a bard, just an idiot), Illmater's blood-stained rack Spoilers: Minor spoilers for Act 1 (in-game dialogue, plot points, etc.), as well as Astarion's plotline Also posted to: AO3 FAIR WARNING: This is PART 4 in my series, "Beauty and the Bard." Find the masterlist here.

a/n: Surprise!! I'm back with a new chapter of Beauty and the Bard! This part is shorter than the other ones (who cheered) because it morphed from a little smut scene into one that deserved its very own part. One million thanks to everyone who's read and enjoyed the series so far, it's so much fun chatting with you guys and hearing your thoughts and it truly means the world that you guys care so much about these goofs. I already have an idea for Part 5, so that will be coming soon, but I have a request to fill first! Thank you all for your patience. In the meantime, please enjoy our regularly scheduled silliness with Astarion and bard!tav :) (Thank you once again to @kermitwazowski for beta reading!) As a reminder, the last part was the Tiefling party!

Taglist: @a66-1, @khaleesiofthewolves, @khywren, @lollipopsandlandmines, @mizuki-nautilus - Let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series!

Several days had passed since the hijinxs of the Tiefling party had taken place. By now, the former refugees of the Emerald Grove were well on their way to Baldur’s Gate, the looming threat of goblins and power hungry druids far from their minds, their thoughts instead replaced with hope for new beginnings in the city. 

Just like he’d promised, Halsin had returned the next day to discuss the parasites, officially joining your party of misfits on your journey towards the Shadow Cursed Lands and Moonrise Towers. His calming presence and sage advice was a welcome addition to the group, especially given that this leadership role had been thrust upon you by the others with next to no discussion. Having Halsin around finally felt like there was a responsible adult among you. Not that you all weren’t adults, but you definitely had your… quirks. Sure, Halsin turned into a bear if he let his emotions go unchecked, but Gale was a bomb. 

As for you and Astarion, not much had really changed, you were both still yourselves, but now you openly tortured your companions with more pet names and cheek kisses and obnoxiously loud banter. Lae’zel had threatened to cleave you both in half on multiple occasions, but had yet to follow through on that threat. The others would groan loudly or avert their eyes politely.

Your days with Astarion were spent fighting side-by-side and teasing one another, and your nights were spent chatting and reading together. Aside from the physical intimacy and emotional vulnerability that came with being in a new relationship, it was really as if nothing had changed. And those were small prices to pay for where you currently found yourself: wrapped together with a trancing Astarion.

Ever since the Tiefling party, Astarion would worm his way into your tent at night. Whether he asked permission, or stayed a little too late into the night reading or talking or drinking from you; you would never ask him to leave. You’d slept together every night, sometimes beside each other, and other nights wrapped in each others’ arms. You were allowing Astarion to set the pace, as you were in no rush to get anywhere in particular. You simply enjoyed his company and his magnetic presence. 

The pair of you hadn’t been too intimate since the party, barring stolen and sometimes steamy kisses. That was plenty for you, and Astarion continued checking in to see if you were okay with his touches and advances. Whenever you assured him that you were, he’d smile and return to your lips. You never asked him for more than he was willing to give, and even though you knew he wouldn’t say anything about it, you could tell he appreciated the courtesy despite the smug mask he so often wore.

Now, you found yourself stroking your hands through his hair as he tranced on your bare chest, breathing quietly; a habit he told you he’d picked up to look more alive when prowling the Gate. 

It was funny, honestly, how sweet and unassuming he looked when he wasn’t fully conscious. And yet, you knew the kind of violence and debauchery and bad jokes he enacted and adored when he was awake. A small sound escaped his lips and you paused in caressing his hair to make sure you weren’t waking him. When his breathing returned to normal, you resumed raking your fingers soothingly over his scalp. 

The hour was a little before dawn. Truthfully, you hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, knowing that today was the day your party would pack up camp and make your way into the Underdark for the foreseeable future. You’d re-emerge eventually to find the crèche Lae’zel knew to be nearby, but the Underdark was worth investigating for the sake of further answers about the tadpoles and a possible alternate route into the Shadow Cursed Lands. Plus, Shadowheart was adamant about seeing the rumored temple to Shar hidden down there.

All that to say, you and your companions wouldn’t be seeing the sun for quite a while. The thought saddened you immensely, knowing how much the man trancing on you would miss it terribly. How cruel, you thought, that your adventure was leading Astarion back into the shadows after he’d just gotten a taste of the sun for the first time in centuries. 

“Why are you awake, my darling?” came Astarion’s raspy voice from the dark. He shifted his head to look up at you, his grip around your midsection tightening a bit, his eyes heavy with grogginess.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you admitted. “You should get a little more if you can.”

Astarion chuckled. “Too busy thinking about me to sleep? I wouldn’t blame you.”

You sighed. “And if I was?”

Astarion’s face fell a little. “Why the hells would you allow yourself to lose sleep on my behalf, pet?” His voice was soft and one of his hands unwrapped itself from your body, taking your hand, and bringing it up to his mouth to kiss the back of your fingers. He cleared his throat. “I mean, obviously I can understand why,” he tried deflecting the sweetness that had seeped into his words by injecting his tone with fake bravado.

You let out an amused breath and allowed your hand in his hair to continue petting him gently. “I want to watch the sunrise with you again this morning.”

Astarion hummed. “And that kept you awake?”

“I didn’t want to oversleep.”

Now it was Astarion’s turn to let out an amused breath. “You could have asked. I would have woken you up.”

“No you wouldn’t, you keep letting me sleep in. It’s like you enjoy watching me sleep or something, you creep.” You poked his nose playfully.

“It’s just amazing how much drool someone of your stature can produce.”

You smacked the side of his head and he laughed softly. The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a little while before you decided to speak again.

“This will be the last sunrise we see for a while.”

Astarion let out a long sigh and remained silent. After a moment, he said, “I know.” 

He sounded sad. 

“It’s not forever, though,” you assured, moving your hand to stroke his cheek and regaining his attention.

He chuckled. “I know that, too.”

You yawned, a little more loudly than you meant to. “Good. I promise you’ll see the sun again.”

Astarion tsked. “Honestly, darling, did you get no sleep at all?”

“I got a little,” you lied.

He held your gaze, lifting a skeptical eyebrow. “I don’t believe you.”

“What does it matter?” you asked, caught. “I can handle a little lack of sleep.”

Astarion rolled his eyes and sat up to look at you more directly. “It matters because we need you alert. None of us knows what awaits us in the Underdark and I- we can’t have you getting hurt because you didn’t get enough rest!”

“I’ll be fine,” you assured, bending upwards to kiss the corner of his mouth. “Besides, I’ll have you to protect me when I get sloppy.”

Astarion groaned. “You shouldn’t get sloppy,” he complained. “I swear, if you somehow hold us back down there, I’ll slaughter you myself.”

“Promise?”

He groaned again. “Would you, just once, allow me to threaten you seriously?”

“No,” you patted his cheek lovingly. 

He sighed and pushed some of his mussed hair out of his face. He took your hands in his. “Just… stay vigilant, alright?”

“Can do,” you said, withholding another obvious yawn.

“I saw that.”

“Saw what?”

He shook his head at you and sat up fully, stretching his arms above his head and giving you a clear view of the scar on his back. You sat up and kissed his bare shoulder.

“I’ll be fine,” you repeated.

“Mhm.” Astarion passed you one of his shirts. “Come on, darling, let’s get a move on.” He tossed on a spare shirt and watched you as you pulled his shirt over your head. 

“There’s still a little time before sunrise,” you said.

Astarion snorted and fixed some of your hair that was sticking up from putting on his shirt. “You could stay here if you want. Drown in your own drool. Up to you.”

You huffed at him, making him laugh again.

“Only joking, my love.”

“Sure,” you said, opening the flaps of your tent and crawling out into the blue that preceded dawn.

You went to stand, but felt Astarion’s cool fingers wrap around your wrist and pull you back. He turned you slightly and caught your lips in a kiss, one that wiped away whatever fake ire you had towards him and replaced it with a dopey grin. 

“What was that for?” you asked when he pulled away.

“Delicious,” he breathed, raising a seductive eyebrow. 

You laughed and grabbed his hand. “Come on.”

You’d only been able to catch two more sunrises with Astarion following the one you watched the morning after you’d slept together for the first time. You’d woken up once on your own after Astarion gently shifted himself away from you, and another time when he woke you up purposely, not wanting to be alone with his thoughts. You’d whine and moan whenever he let you sleep in, despite the fact that it was probably for the best to keep you in tip top shape for fighting and recharging your magic. He’d always find his way back to you, and you knew he needed his own space sometimes, but you still loved to watch him bask in the golden light of the morning and you couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed whenever you felt his gentle hand on your back before opening your eyes and seeing that the sun was already up.

Astarion led you through the forest again, his hand holding yours firmly. You knew your way to the ravine lookout by now, but you liked not having to take the lead for once. He helped you across the little stream that led into the clearing where you first laid together and you felt your cheeks flush at the memory.

“I can hear your heart picking up speed, darling.” He turned to smirk at you. “You’re adorable.”

“Pardon me for still being shy,” you half-joked.

“Mmm,” Astarion hummed. “I’ll pound that out of you eventually.” He furrowed his brow sensually at you and you scoffed.

“Shut up.”

“I, of course, don’t have to-”

You made a whiny sound and he laughed.

“I know, my love,” he said, removing his hand from yours and instead wrapping his arm around you to pull you close. “You’ve been so patient for me,” he nipped at your earlobe. “So good.” 

“I’m in no rush,” you reassured on a shaky exhale. 

Astarion made his own whiny sound and pulled you closer, leading you to the cliff’s edge where he’d opened up to you willingly for the first time, just a few days ago.

He sat, pulling you down with him, far enough away from the edge, where he knew you wouldn’t be nervous of falling. In the distance, the sky was just starting to indicate the sun’s arrival. 

You sighed happily and rested your head on his shoulder. You felt him tense a little. “Is this alright?” 

Instead of answering, he leaned his head on top of yours. 

“What’s something you want to do in the Underdark?” you probed.

Astarion groaned. “You don’t need to make small talk with me, darling, sometimes silence is golden.”

You scrunched your nose, knowing he hated pure silence. “I wasn’t being polite, I genuinely wanted to know.”

He groaned again. “Even worse.”

You laughed lightly and felt him laugh too, his arm gently shaking against your own. 

He thought for a moment before he responded. “That Zhentarim fellow we met mentioned a cache of supplies hidden somewhere down there. That might be fun to pillage.”

You laughed. “I’m surprised you ever stopped thinking about that!”

“Oh I didn’t, but I wanted you to think your little thought experiment had actually evoked some sort of… thought… in me.” He made a face.

“Want to try and rephrase that?”

“Not particularly.”

You hummed fondly, taking one of his hands in your own and examining how your fingers slotted together just so. 

“I suppose you want me to ask you the same question?” Astarion asked, clearly not wanting to ask.

You laughed. “Your interest in my interests always astounds me, Astarion.”

He rubbed his cheek against the top of your head. “Get better interests and I might actually want to pay attention.”

“Rude,” you muttered, a smile on your face. “But since you so desperately want to know, I’ll answer anyway.”

“Oh, goodie.”

You thought about it. There wasn’t actually all that much you knew about the Underdark, aside from the few mentions of it in the books you’d read growing up. One thing did stick out in your mind.

“Singing mushrooms.”

“........What?”

“I read somewhere that apparently there are colonies of sentient mushroom people who communicate through song.”

Astarion pulled his head off of yours to hang it in front of himself instead, groaning loudly. “That sounds like a nightmare.”

“It’s not! It’s fascinating!”

“Sentient mushrooms?”

“Yes.”

“That sing?”

“Yes.”

Astarion shook his head. “Am I still asleep? Do you hear yourself?”

“I’m not making it up!” you exclaimed incredulously. When he didn’t say anything else, you crossed your arms in front of yourself. “We’re going to see the mushrooms.”

“Whatever you say, darling.” He kissed the top of your head almost pityingly. 

“You’re an ass,” you said, pulling away from him and sitting back on your forearms. The sky was turning a faint pinkish orange in the distance. You snickered to yourself. “More like Ass-starion.”

The ass in question scowled. “That will not be one of your pet names for me.”

You shrugged. “I’m surprised no one’s called you that before.”

“I’ve been called far worse.” Astarion tilted his head up pompously, as if nothing you could say would hurt him.

“Okay great, so ‘Ass’ is nothing new.”

He sighed heavily. “It’s like you want me to throw you off the cliff.”

“Go ahead,” you challenged, catching his eye mischievously, knowing his threat was empty. 

Astarion looked at you and then towards the horizon. He inhaled deeply and rose to his feet. 

“What are you doing?” you laughed nervously as he approached the cliff’s edge that gave way into the ravine below. 

He peered over the edge, his brow furrowed in deep thought. 

You shifted uncomfortably and sat up completely straight. “Astarion, please be careful, you’re making me nervous.”

He ignored you and walked along the edge, looking past a batch of trees and into the distance to your right. He nodded and turned back towards where you sat.

“Up you go,” Astarion approached you and gestured his thumb upwards, indicating that he wanted you to stand. When he reached you, he helped you to your feet.

“You’re not actually going to throw me off the cliff, are you?” You kept your tone playful, but the anxiety you were masking was obvious.

Astarion smirked. “Stop annoying me and I won’t have to.”

You rolled your eyes and began to follow him as he started walking to the right, down a slanted slope and into a patch of trees. 

“What’s happening?” you asked when you caught up with him.

Astarion tilted his head. “I just thought an occasion such as this needed a change of scenery.”

“‘Occasion?’” you echoed.

He nodded. “It’s my last day in the sun-” he saw you about to protest and quickly added, “-for a little while. Might as well start the day off right.”

You hummed. “Why do I get the sense that you’re up to something?”

Astarion stopped in his tracks, a hand held to his unbeating heart in mock offense. “Me? Up to something? You’re far too paranoid, darling.”

“Uh huh.” You kept walking, but quickly realized you didn’t actually know where you were going. You looked back at Astarion for help and found him watching you. 

He rolled his eyes affectionately. “This way, dear, it’s not much farther.” He walked past you, deeper into the trees, and kept talking. “Did you know that that ravine we’ve been sitting above gives way into what I can only assume is either the Chianthar or the Sea of Swords?”

“I didn’t,” you said. “Though those are two very different bodies of water.”

“Give me a break, my geography lessons occurred well over 200 years ago. And we’re in the gods damn middle of nowhere, might I remind you.”

“Mhm,” you affirmed with a smile. “Go on.”

“Well, it just so happens that that ravine’s mouth isn’t far from our little sunrise spot.”

“‘Our?’” you teased.

“Focus, darling,” he said. He turned to the left, leading you back towards the cliff’s edge that had continued along the treeline.

“Astarion, please be careful,” you called after him, hesitantly following him towards the sound of rushing water. 

He turned back and held out a steadying hand for you as you approached the edge. Not too far below you were narrow rapids that gradually became calmer. The cliff that had been on the other side of the one you currently found yourself on had disappeared, forming a mouth where the ravine did in fact empty into a much larger, much calmer, body of water.

You wrapped your arms around Astarion’s middle to anchor yourself and leaned forward a little to see where the cliff you were on ended. A little farther down, you squinted to adjust your eyes to the dim lighting, and saw a tiny beach that quickly shot upwards into a new cliff. Rocks surrounded the shore, keeping it slightly out of view, and gentle waves lapped at the sand, far enough away from the rapids of the ravine to remain serene.

You caught Astarion’s eye and pointed towards the small patch of sand in the distance. “Is that where we’re going?”

Astarion pursed his lips. “Yes, that would be much easier than jumping in, wouldn’t it?”

You scoffed. “You expected me to jump in from this high up? There could be rocks we can’t see! And we don’t know how deep it is!”

Astarion sighed. “You’re no fun. Though I suppose you’re right, I hadn’t thought that far ahead.” With your arms still around his middle, he started walking back into the trees and down towards the tiny beach. 

You laughed as he dragged you along. “You can’t possibly be serious. You’d get your hair all wet!”

“Nobody said I was going to jump in with you,” he teased.

“I’m not going in alone,” you narrowed your eyes at him. 

“Pity,” he tutted. “I like it when you’re wet.” He smirked and you shoved yourself away from him. 

You picked up your pace to put distance between the two of you. When you didn’t hear his footsteps gaining on you, you decided to quickly slip behind a tree, hoping you’d lost him and that you’d be able to jump out to scare him as he sauntered past.

Unfortunately, nothing but silence greeted you. After a heartbeat or two, you peered around the trunk of your hiding spot but saw no sign of his sleek frame or shock of white hair. You started to second guess yourself; was it possible he’d passed you already? Or that he stopped, out of sight for some reason? 

“You’ll have to do better than that, darling,” came his voice softly next to your ear.

You yelped and clutched at your heart, which raced with surprise. 

Astarion sighed happily. “I do love the sound of your blood pumping.”

“How do you do that?” you asked, breathing deeply to calm yourself. 

“Years of practice.” He paused. “Centuries, even.”

You conceded with a nod. “I shouldn’t have even tried.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. The effort was hardly there, either.”

“Alright,” you rolled your eyes and continued on through the trees down to the beach.

“I mean honestly, have these weeks on the road with me taught you nothing about stealth?”

“I play music for a living. My job is making noise.”

“And I don’t know why I even try at this point.” He raised his eyebrows playfully.

“You like my noise,” you said, sing-songingly. 

“You’re loud, I’ll give you that.”

It was then that you emerged from the trees and onto a grassy dune that sloped downward onto the flat sand below. You slid down the dune with as much grace as you could muster, only falling on your ass once, before taking off your shoes and sinking your toes into the cool sand that made up the shoreline. Astarion followed after you, his long strides keeping him upright and as elegant as ever. He came to stand next to you, taking his own shoes off and placing them neatly beside yours.

You exhaled wistfully and grabbed Astarion’s bicep, leaning your head onto his shoulder. From here, you had a clear view of the sun on the horizon. The sky was a deep shade of pink, giving way to golds and oranges the closer you watched. You looked at Astarion, whose eyes were focused on the sunrise in the distance. 

“What are you thinking about?” you asked quietly.

Astarion looked over at you and blinked. Then he smiled. “Just that it’s truly a wonder you’ve made it this far in life.”

“What?!” you exclaimed, shocked and amused.

You could tell he was holding in a laugh. “You are inept at hiding and fall down sand dunes. What were we thinking when we started following you around Faerûn?”

“I’ll push you into the water, pretty boy.”

“I’d pull you in with me, my love.”

“Touché,” you smiled and released his arm, sitting on the sand. You pulled your legs to your chest and rested your cheek on your knee. Around you, reeds and tall grass swayed in the morning breeze. Astarion remained standing, watching the horizon. 

As much as you enjoyed watching the sunrise, you enjoyed watching Astarion watch it more. The way his attention became transfixed on the sky, the way the vibrant light painted itself onto him like a blank canvas, the way his entire body relaxed when the warmth of the sun finally reached his skin. 

You heard him sigh and watched as he walked forward a little, allowing the tiny waves rolling off the water to rush gently over his toes. He flinched a little in shock and you let out an affectionate breath through your nose.

“Cold?” you asked.

“You know, it’s funny,” Astarion said, his voice a million miles away. “It’s been so long since I’ve been able to move through water like this.”

“What do you mean?” You furrowed your brow. “I’ve seen you in the lake at camp before.”

“I don’t know, I guess I haven’t given it too much thought until now. Normally, I can’t move through running water like this. Don’t ask me why, it’s one of those idiotic vampire laws dictated by some ancient devil with an infuriating sense of humor. I can bathe, sure, but I haven’t been proper swimming since… before.”

You stayed quiet as he moved further into the water, letting the waves wash over his ankles.

“I have to imagine I knew how to swim at one point,” he said quietly.

“I could teach you,” you offered. “I was going to teach Shadowheart at some point too. You’re welcome to join us if you want.”

Astarion snorted. “And look like a fool in front of the cleric? I’ll pass.”

“You don’t need swim lessons to look like a fool,” you clarified. 

“Ha ha,” he said humorlessly. 

You got up and joined him in the ankle deep water. “Do you want to try right now?”

Astarion thought for a moment and clicked his tongue. “I have a better idea, actually.” He gave you a sideways look, his lips quirking up slightly. 

“What?” you matched his smile.

Rather than answering, Astarion reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. 

You furrowed your brow. “Looks an awful lot like you’re preparing to swim.”

He started fiddling with the clasps on his pants and groaned in your direction. “Swimming is not the only thing one can do while submerged in water, dearest.” He gave you a sensual smile that sent heat to your cheeks. 

“Oh,” you said, stiffly watching him undress. “Should I-?” you awkwardly pulled at the collar of his shirt that was currently resting on your shoulders. 

He straightened, naked but for his underwear. He frowned a little. 

“You don’t have to do anything, my love. I just thought we might have some fun while watching the sunrise.”

You bit your bottom lip, thinking it over. “I do like fun.”

“I know that about you.” Astarion walked towards you and reached for the hem of your shirt. “May I?”

You nodded and lifted your arms to help. He took the shirt and tossed it over to where he’d discarded his own clothes. He stepped closer to you, pulling you to him so that you were chest to chest, and nuzzled his nose into the area where your neck met your shoulder. He placed a slow, gentle kiss there that had you inhaling sharply and exhaling unevenly. He groaned with need before pulling back and readjusting to kiss your lips. He came at it with more force than you were expecting, causing you to stumble back a little, but his hands firmly gripped your biceps, keeping you steady. You suppressed a giggle and instead smiled against his mouth before opening up for him and allowing his tongue to meet yours. Astarion hummed with pleasure, moving his mouth against yours and bringing his hands up to tangle in your hair. When he finally pulled away, he left one more chaste kiss against your lips before fully pulling back. 

His eyes were alight with something that morphed into joy when he saw the gooey grin on your face. He rolled his eyes affectionately before looking you up and down and exhaling a laugh.

“You are perfect,” he said, almost in awe.

You smiled. “When?”

Astarion pulled you closer, his eyes narrowing seductively. “Every time.”

You snickered and pulled away from him, a teasing grin plastered on his face. You bent to remove your own pants and watched to see what Astarion would do next. When you saw him reach for his underwear, you averted your eyes and heard him laugh.

“Nothing new over here, darling,” he said, and the soft splashing sounds that followed indicated he’d walked into the water.

“I know,” you replied, embarrassed. You turned back towards him and shrugged. “Habit, I guess.”

“Well, cut it out,” he called, now knee deep in the water. His body was rigid from the temperature, his shoulders rising up to his ears. He turned back to look back at you, still standing on the shore. “Illmater’s blood-stained RACK, this is cold!” 

“I don’t know what you expected,” you called back, hugging your arms to your chest and trying to convince yourself to brave the frigid waters and join him.

“I rather expected you would be in here with me to keep me warm,” he said, turning back towards the sunrise ahead of him.

You quickly pulled off your underwear and started walking into the water, tensing at the cold, but willing yourself to keep going. 

“If you wanted my blood, you could have just asked,” you said when you finally reached him.

“There you are, darling,” Astarion said and grabbed your hand. 

“Hi,” you said softly.

“Brace yourself,” he tipped his head forward a little.

“What?”

Without warning, Astarion lowered himself into the water so that it was just below his shoulders, and pulled you down with him. You hadn’t expected to be yanked so forcefully and unsurprisingly lost your footing. You plunged downward, reaching your free hand out to break your fall and ended up dunking your face below the surface. You were submerged for less than a second, but you came up sputtering and made eye contact with a gleeful vampire. He sucked in his lips to keep from laughing.

“And what was that?” you asked blandly, flicking wet tendrils of hair out of your face.

“Apologies, darling, I didn’t mean for you to get your pretty hair all wet,” he pouted at you and sounded less than sympathetic. 

“Uh huh,” you narrowed your eyes at him. You crawled closer to him, made weightless by the water, and sat beside him, the water level reaching slightly higher on your chest than his. You scooted back a little and dragged your arm out behind you. You pushed it forward quickly, creating a splash that soaked the back of Astarion’s head. He instantly hunched forward and yelped. 

“How dare you?!” he exclaimed, his curls flattening and falling partially into his face. 

“Whoops,” you shrugged. Your eyes widened when you saw him wind his own arm back in retaliation and quickly dunked your head below the surface to avoid his onslaught of water.

When you reemerged, you heard Astarion snicker.

“Look at that,” he said, his tone mocking, “you’re all wet for me.”

You wasted no time in splashing him directly in the face.

“Let’s not do this,” he said flatly, his eyes closed. He brought his hands up to wipe the water off his face, even though his hands were equally wet.

“But now you’re all wet for me,” you teased. 

“I’ll show you what I am,” Astarion growled and took your hand underwater. He pulled you closer and led your hand to his cock, which was already rigid with desire, despite the temperature of the water. 

You made eye contact with him as you started pumping your hand up and down his shaft and he hissed out a breath. 

“Easy, darling,” he said shakily. 

“What’s the matter?” you asked, close to his ear. “Don’t you want to cum while watching the sunrise?”

Astarion groaned and you moved your hand up to swipe your thumb across his tip and then back down to continue pumping. You lifted your weightless body up and swung your leg around so that you were sitting between his legs, facing him head on with the sunrise at your back. 

“I know what would make you even harder,” you cooed, wiping wet hair out of his face with your free hand. Instead of finishing the thought, you tilted your head to the side, offering up your neck to him. 

Astarion’s eyes, half lidded with lust, went wide and looked at you. You nodded to him, and he pulled you closer to his chest, kissing your throat feverishly upon contact. Your hand was still wedged between your legs, twisting around Astarion’s length. He moaned as he nosed along your throat for where your pulse thrummed the strongest.

“Thank you,” he said before sinking his fangs into you. 

You let out a moan of your own, your mouth falling open as goosebumps broke out along your arms. The cold water mixed with the ice in your veins created a delicious mixture of pleasure and pain. The hand pumping Astarion’s length started to slow as you felt yourself focusing instead on the satisfyingly dull thrum that came with him drinking from you. 

“Don’t stop,” he murmured against your skin, kissing your throat and licking a few wayward drops of blood that had escaped before returning to his meal.

You made a noise of affirmation and squeezed his dick before continuing to twist your hand up and down, from base to tip and back down again. 

Astarion whined lamely and dug his nails into your scalp and shoulder, which in turn made you moan wantonly. You rolled your hips, trying to find some relief of your own and ended up brushing your clit against the base of his cock. You both groaned in pleasure and you brought your free hand up to tangle into his hair as you continued rolling your hips. 

“Hah,” Astarion huffed sweetly as he pulled himself away from your throat, his cool breath made warm by your blood. He licked at the wounds he left behind and kissed them gratefully before angling his head to kiss your mouth deeply.

The metallic tang of your blood on his tongue sent a chill through your body and you opened your eyes when you felt Astarion’s hands make their way to your hips. You broke the kiss to give him a curious look. 

He returned your look with a blissed out smirk. “I want you to ride me,” he drawled. 

Your eyes widened and the hand that was still working his cock slowed to a stop. 

He surged forward to kiss you again and moved his hands to your ass, where he lifted your weightless form to position you over his length. 

“Are you sure?” you asked. “I thought I was close to getting you off.”

“You were, sweet girl, but I’d much rather finish inside, if it’s all the same to you.”

Your lips quirked up. “I think we can make that work.”

Taking his cock into your hand again, you guided the head to your entrance before sinking down on him slowly. Astarion’s eyes closed in satisfaction and he tipped his head up to the sky, golden light painting his beautiful face into something ethereal. You sucked in a breath and rested your forehead on his shoulder, taking a second to adjust to this new sensation. You hadn’t ridden him yet, nor had you ever fooled around in water, by yourself or otherwise. 

Astarion kissed your ear before encouraging you: “Use me, my love. You’re deliciously warm.”

You nodded and tested lifting yourself up a little and bringing yourself back down. Your mouth dropped open and you adjusted your legs so you were resting on your knees, making it easier to bob on his dick. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you lifted yourself higher and brought yourself down with more force.

“That’s it,” Astarion cooed, “take your pleasure from me.”

“Touch me,” you whined, rolling your hips and picking up the pace of your bouncing.

“With pleasure,” he bent forward to kiss your neck, bringing his hand down to circle your clit. His other hand came up to squeeze your breast. 

“You make me feel so good,” you sighed, raking your nails over the ridges on his back.

“The feeling is mutual, d-arling,” his voice caught when you brought yourself down on his cock. “And I’m the only one who can make you feel this good,” he grazed his fangs across your collarbone. 

“I don’t know,” you said, your body shuddering with euphoria, “Halsin seems like he could give you a run for your money.”

Astarion raised a disbelieving eyebrow at you.

“Teasing, my love,” you kissed him softly before letting out a loud “Ah!” when he started raising his hips to meet yours.

“Oh really?” he asked, his voice coming out like a growl. “You think Halsin could fuck you as well as I can?”

“Hah,” you half laughed, half moaned. “I think technically, in this position, I’m fucking you?” A lopsided grin graced your lips. “But I don’t know, I’m new to all this.”

“Funny,” Astarion remarked sarcastically and pulled his hand away from your clit, making you whimper in protest. 

“Hey!”

“Take it back.”

“Take what back? I already said I was teasing!”

“Say I’m the only one who can fuck you like this.”

You smiled, panting and still riding him beneath the surface of the water. “Are you jealous or something?”

“Hardly,” he rolled his eyes. “But you’re mine and it wouldn’t kill you to remind yourself of that.”

“Sounds an awful lot like jealousy to me.”

Astarion groaned in what sounded like frustration and pleasure. “Do you want to cum or not?” 

You leaned forward and kissed him deeply, moving your mouth slowly in time with the rhythm of your hips. When you pulled away, a string of saliva connected you to his lower lip. 

“Astarion,” you said softly, “I don’t ever want anyone else to fuck me. Only you. For as long as you’ll have me.”

The smirk on Astarion’s face was smug. “Because?”

You rolled your eyes. “Because I’m yours, you stupid bat.” You kissed him, then whispered conspiratorially, “And I like you the most out of everyone at camp.”

“You flatter me,” Astarion said, immediately returning to his ministrations on your clit. You gasped at the contact, which quickly morphed into a moan of delight as you rested your forehead on his shoulder again. His hips rose to meet yours once more and the moan he let out as a result sounded as if he’d been holding it in for a while. Perhaps it was to sound eloquent during your back and forth, but the noise was music to your ears.

“Am I making you feel good?” you asked a little shyly.

Astarion opened one of his eyes to look at you. “My sweet, you’ve only ever made me feel good.”

“I know that’s not true.”

“It’s not, but it is true about the sex.”

“Thank the gods,” you laughed, though you shut your eyes tightly when Astarion hit a particularly pleasant spot inside you with a roll of his hips. “Whatever you just hit felt heavenly,” you relayed to him.

“Good to know,” he said mischievously, and repositioned you on his lap so he could rise to meet that spot every time you sank down on him. 

“Oh, Astarion,” you sighed, a grin overtaking your features.

“You like that, love?” he nipped at your shoulder. 

“Yes,” you sighed again.

Your bounces on his cock were starting to become sloppy as the knot of your climax began to build low in your stomach. You moved your hand to his and reversed the direction he was currently circling your clit.

“I’m close,” you confessed.

“Thank the gods, so am I,” Astarion’s voice was strained.

You opened your eyes to watch him as he approached his own peak and exhaled dreamily at the sight of him, bathed in the orange glow of the sun which was now halfway risen. 

“You’re so beautiful,” you whispered, “and I like you so much.”

“Don’t make me throw up when I’m trying to cum,” he opened up an eye and smirked at you. “You’re not half bad yourself, gorgeous thing.” He groaned when you sat back down on him forcefully. “Now, would you cum for me already? I’m dying here.”

“Almost there,” you laughed. “And you’re dead already.”

“You’re making this very difficult, darling.”

“Let me help you then,” you said, reaching a hand forward and lightly caressing his balls.

Astarion’s mouth hung open in silent pleasure, his fangs glistening in the emerging sunshine. He watched you wordlessly as you leaned forward.

“You’re so powerful,” you purred next to his ear. “You make me feel so good, and you’re the only one who can fuck me this well. The others will never know how good I feel because I’m yours and I’ll only ever be yours. You’re the only one who will ever be inside of me.”

“That’s right,” he groaned. “Your cunt is mine and I love the way it feels around me. The way it grips me so tight. You filthy thing, letting a vampire take your innocence. I could have killed you and instead I brought you the most pleasure you’ve ever felt. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes,” you moaned. “Astarion, please. Need to feel your cum in me.”

“You want this cock forever, darling? Prove it. Prove you want it by cumming for me and screaming my name.”

His command brought you to your peak and you wailed out in pure ecstasy. His name fell from your lips like a prayer, over and over, and your cunt gripped him like a vice, as if claiming it for itself. In return, Astarion groaned loudly and spilled inside of you, moaning your name repeatedly and throwing his head back in rapture and delight.

As you came down from your high, you leaned forward to place sloppy kisses on his exposed throat. He brought both his arms around you and pulled you closer as he returned from his climax. 

“You are-” he didn’t finish his sentence before crushing his lips into yours, moaning pathetically and you giggled in response. He bit your bottom lip with his blunt front teeth before releasing it and peppering kisses along your cheeks and jaw. 

“Go on,” you teased, encouraging him to finish his thought.

He looked as if he wanted to argue, but instead gave in and said, “You’re wonderful.”

The words caught you off guard and you bent forward to kiss him in a way that you hoped conveyed your gratitude. 

“I think you’re wonderful, too.”

“Obviously,” Astarion smirked.

You pushed him backwards, causing him to slip and submerge his head fully underwater briefly.

“My hair was just starting to dry, you wretched beast!” he sputtered, looking appalled. 

“Aw, but you’re so pretty like this!” You brushed some wet hair out of his eyes.

“Um, hello? I’m always pretty, darling.”

“Ah, you’re right, how could I forget.” You gingerly lifted yourself off of Astarion and floated yourself to sit beside him, facing the sunrise. 

“Perhaps you’ve had the lovely head of yours hit in battle one too many times.”

“That must be it,” you agreed jokingly, resting your head on his shoulder. 

He leaned his head on top of yours in return. You sighed happily, enjoying the vibrant hues of the sky above, still filled with the euphoria of your high and the presence of the man beside you.

“I really do like you, so much,” you said softly, accompanied by the quiet lapping of the waves on the shore nearby.

“Ugh,” Astarion groaned. “Let’s not get sentimental, darling. After we just had such an excellent time together.”

You laughed. “Pardon me for wanting to express my feelings.”

“You are pardoned.” He gave you a sideways smile. 

“Thank you, Mr. Magistrate.”

“Of course, beloved citizen.”

You both laughed quietly and returned to a pleasant silence. The sun rose steadily up into the sky and you knew you’d have to head back to camp soon to help pack up, but for now, you were content to sit and watch the horizon with your favorite traveling companion. 

“How are you doing that?” Astarion asked, breaking the silence.

“Doing what?”

“Tickling my thighs. Did you cast mage hand or something of the sort?”

You sat up a bit more to look and snorted. 

“Astarion, my love, I think it’s a fish that’s tickling you.”

“Ah,” he said calmly. Then he shot up, flinging you backwards and underwater. When you came up for air, he was rushing towards the shore, barreling through the water.

“At least it had the decency to wait until we were finished!” you called after him.

Astarion ignored you. “Slimy, disgusting, vile creatures!” He shook out his entire body as if he couldn’t rid himself of the sensation.

You watched him with adoration as he muttered to himself about how irredeemable that particular fish was as he pulled on his pants. It was then that you felt your heart swell with something big and alarming.

Oh no.

You were in love with him. 

Fuck!

[just-a-creep-babe]

A Demon’s Ache — Epilogue

Eyeless Jack x Reader

A Demon's Ache Masterlist

With this final part, EJ's POV is finally complete! There are a few one-off bonus chapters I'm thinking about writing, but they'll either come after y/n's POV or randomly scattered about

I'd also like to start up another longer form series soon, so send in some ideas/suggestions if you have any ^^ A select few will be posted up in a poll to decide the final work uwu

Finally, the entirety of this series is dedicated to @cookiereblogss 🖤🖤

I was previously way too intimidated to write a longer series, despite always wanting to, but with cookiereblogss' incredible support, I was able to overcome that fear. In a way, I'd like to dedicate all of my future fic series to them as well, because I wouldn't have taken that first step without them. Thank you truly from the very bottom of my heart 🖤🖤🖤

And without further ado, I hope you enjoy this short lil smutty epilogue to the series!

Requests are closed but commissions are open!

Masterlist: x

It’s quiet, peaceful

Jack doesn’t fall asleep—he can’t, not after everything that’s happened—but he’s perfectly content holding you in his arms for now

Every now and again, he has to squeeze you just slightly harder to make sure this is real

It’s real—you’re safe, and happy, and he gets to hold you, and he’s still unsure about a lot of things, but you let him hold you, so that must mean things are going to be ok

He nuzzles into your hair, breathes in your scent, tries to savor the moment to its fullest

And it almost works, too

Keeping his mind occupied almost lets him forget about his worries

But every time he’s on the verge of letting go, he catches a glimpse of the mark on your neck, and all of the shame, guilt and worry lumps in his throat all over again

You let him hold you, you let him rest by your side—it’s going to be ok

Carefully, as though the wrong motion might break you, he lifts his hand and traces the mark with the back of his knuckle

The contact has you stirring, and before he can pull away, your eyes flutter open and you meet his gaze

A slow, soft smile grows on your lips

You lean into his touch, pressing closer into him

And then he just can’t resist tilting your chin up and stealing a kiss

Compared to the rushed, heated kisses that’d become the norm between you, this is the opposite

Slow and sensual, the warmth of your lips spreads to his chest and fills his body with a pleasant buzz

Your lips are so soft, your body so perfect against his, so warm and wonderfully inviting

You hum against him

Basking in it, basking in the peace of the moment, he cups your face and deepens the contact

He doesn’t expect anything more out of this

He simply wants to enjoy it

But when you make a muffled sound against him, almost like a whimper, something dangerous stirs within him

He tries to take a deep breath, tries to calm his less-than-pure urges, but when he breathes in, the scent of your growing arousal fills his lungs and his head starts spinning

Control it, control it, control yourself

Pushing down the temptation, he brushes his fingers along the slope of your face in an attempt to distract himself by memorizing the curves of your features

He follows an invisible line down your neck with the intention to eventually reach your hips and tug you in closer

But he doesn’t even make it halfway down your throat before you whine and push him off

Shit—he fucked up

Before he can blurt out a rushed apology, you push him onto his back, straddle his hips, and as if that wasn’t enough of a surprise, your lips clash with his, tongue reaching out to taste him like you're insatiable

The combination of it all short-circuits his brain

He doesn't even know what to do with himself; he simply lets you do as you please

It's only when you break the kiss to pull your shirt up over your head that he snaps himself out of his daze

“W-wait, (y/n)—“

He’s already panting, his stomach tensing with a knot of desire, but he manages to gasp the words out before you unclasp your bra

Pausing halfway through the motion, you look down at him questioningly

And at the sight of you, so visibly turned on with your lips freshly swollen from the make-out session—he immediately feels like an absolute idiot for telling you to stop

“Listen, I—“ he stumbles through his words like a horny moron, “I-you don’t need to do this. You know, y-you don’t have to—“

He cuts himself off as you finish undoing your bra, and the material falls away to reveal the perfect swell of your tits

Fuck, how’re you always so gorgeous?

It takes his breath away, and before he can recover, you take his hand and press it to the mark on your neck

The back of his knuckles trace over the bruised skin, slowly, softly, and as it does, you shudder

Your hips buckle, pressing down flush against his own, and a rush of heat has his cock throbbing against your sex

"I-I didn't realize it at first,” you murmur, “but..."

You trail off, and it almost looks like you're holding back a moan as you press his hand harder against your neck

"It's... it's sensitive"

You wriggle your hips for more friction, and he can't help but meet you halfway so that you’re fully grinding against him as you speak

“Whenever there’s any kind of pressure on it, it—it feels warm. Everything feels warm. And it—it aches,” you choke the word out, and fuck, if he didn’t know any better, he’d almost think you’re on the verge of begging for his cock right now

“I need you”

He holds back a groan as the words leave your mouth

And then it finally clicks

You’re in heat

Or, at least, as close as a human can get to a heat, anyways

He remembers reading about fresh marks triggering heats in his research—but he hadn’t realized they could affect humans too

The mere thought sends a surge of arousal—hot, sickly sweet, potent arousal rushing through him, and he has to take another breath to steady himself

But all he can smell is your arousal again, and it takes just about every ounce of his willpower to resist pinning you down and fucking you senseless

A low growl reverberates through his chest before he can hold it back

If touching the mark turns you on, he wonders what would happen if he licked it, if he bit it

With tense fingers, he grabs two fistfuls of your ass and distracts himself by kneading at the supple flesh

He shouldn't use the mark to his advantage—it'd be wrong of him to do so

But fuck if it isn't the most tempting thing ever

You make another sound again, like a sigh and a whine, and he uses his leverage on you to guide your hips over his bulge in impatient circles

You're soaked

He can feel it, even through his pants

He rolls his hips up in tandem with yours again, and he's obsessed with the way your face contorts with need and pleasure as his cock twitches between your thighs

You breathe out a curse, head falling back as you bring your hands up to your tits to toy with your own nipples

“Jack~“ you moan his name like a plea, sounding so needy that all he can do is groan at the sound, at the sight, at the scent of you

His mate

You're his mate—all for him

He wants to brand another mark into you

It's just about the only thing on his mind right now

As if one didn't cause enough trouble as is

But he can't help it; you'd just look so fucking gorgeous covered in his brand

The thought has shivers racing through his body

You yelp, and he realizes it’s because he’s digging his bulge right against your clit while simultaneously thrusting up

Fuck, he wants to ruin you

He wants your clothes off, wants you folded beneath him, wants you gushing around his cock while he abuses your tight little cunt

Long gone are his fears and worries over what happened

He just wants you—he needs you

You squirm on top of him, whining and whimpering as you're guided into riding him

With one particularly sharp thrust, you yelp, jerking forward, and you end up bracing your hands against his chest for balance

Which, in turn, grants him the perfect opportunity to lean up and press his mouth to yours in a heated, messy kiss

God, you taste so fucking sweet

He needs more

It’s all he can think about as his hands busy themselves with the rest of your clothes

And then before he knows it, you’re both naked and he’s on top of you and he’s aching to be inside of you

He barely takes the time to admire your flushed, naked body before throwing your legs over his shoulders, manhandling you without even meaning to, and bringing his length to the sensitive spot between your legs

His cock haphazardly smacks against your wet folds as he pushes his hips forward, and the filthy plea that falls from your lips has him groaning

He can’t wait any longer

Inch by inch, he pushes into you—until he’s almost completely stuffed inside your slick, velvety walls

His breathing’s ragged, his muscles flexed, his cock throbbing incessantly as he waits for you to adjust to his size

The wait, of which, is nothing short of agony

He's almost shaking by the time you relax around him

And as soon as you do, he pushes the few final inches in, and he groans as his tip brushes right up against your cervix

Control himself, control himself, he needs to learn to control himself

He swallows thickly, and then slowly, painfully slowly, he rocks back and forth into you

In and out, the wet sounds you make around him are nothing short of obscene

Your hands reach up to rake your nails down his back, and his grunts of pleasure mix in with your cute little moans and whimpers in a filthy symphony

In and out, in and out

He settles into a rhythm that could almost be described as lovingly fucking into you

But no matter how hard he tries to take things slow and soft, he knows his patience can't last forever

"Jack—n-need more~ Fuck, please!~"

He groans out a curse at the desperation in your voice

How could he possibly resist such a request?

The bed creaks loudly at his change of pace, accompanying the sound of his skin smacking against yours and your sweet, precious little sounds of bliss

He buries his face into your neck, and with the temptation of your flesh right next to his teeth, it suddenly becomes very hard to focus on going easy on you

He can't help it

Pinned beneath his larger, stronger form, you've no choice but to take everything he fucks into you

Your back arches, walls clenching frantically around him like you're trying to suck him in deeper with every thrust

And you're so fucking wet—he can't even tell if you squirted or if you're just that turned on

His thighs are coated in your slick

The pressure keeps building within him until his whole body's tense and all he can think about is filling you with his cum

He realizes he’s murmuring something under his breath, but he doesn’t even know what he’s saying—he doesn’t care

All he cares about is the sheer bliss of fucking you like an animal depraved

“Jack—!“

When you cry his name out again, he takes the opportunity to cram his tongue down your throat

Your eyes widen in surprise, but there's no mistaking the way you clamp so deliciously tightly around his cock when his tongue starts stroking yours haphazardly

If he wasn't in the midst of screwing your brains out, if the whole thing wasn't so fucking depraved, it'd almost be sweet

Your walls flutter, hips buckling weakly beneath his strong thighs like you’re getting overwhelmed, like kissing him while he’s so deep inside of you is too much for you to handle

With every ravenous stroke, every inch of his throbbing cock lovingly fucking into you, he feels you tightening, feels the muffled vibrations of your whimpers growing closer

He's just on the precipice of letting go when you suddenly grip onto him—hard

And he almost thinks fuck, he did something wrong

But then he realizes how loud you’re being, how your eyes are squeezed shut and your face is contorted in ecstasy

And he realizes you’re already cuming around him

He buries his face into your neck, grunting out filthy praises into your skin while you ride out your high

And he’s almost proud of how he’s able to control himself—how he can still manage to offer long, hard steady strokes despite your shaking and squirming and shamelessly loud moaning

But then you moan that you're his—you're all his—and just like that, his precious control finally snaps

He doesn’t realize just how hard and fast he’s fucking into you

He hears the bed creaking, hears the frame slamming against the wall, but it all feels distant—like it’s all just secondary to the way your body feels

You feel so, so incredibly fucking good

He snarls your name, lost in the pleasure, and only then does he realize that you’re shaking beneath him and cuming all over again already

Those sounds—those fucking sounds you make as you're pushed into overstimulation—they're fucking bliss

He knows you’re on the verge of reaching your limit, but he doesn’t want to stop—he can’t

He needs this

Even through the haze of his pleasure, he realizes he’s being selfish, but he’s too far gone to care

His tongue traces over your mark, and he’s seconds away from biting down into it—when your cunt clamps around him so fucking tightly that it immediately overwhelms him

You make the sweetest, filthiest sound he’s ever heard, and all of it combined is too much for him to handle

His hips jerk all the way into you, cock twitching uncontrollably, and harder than he ever has before, he cums

He spills himself as deep inside of you as he possibly can, until it feels like he’s fucking into your cervix and filling you to the absolute brim with his seed

He doesn’t realize he’s holding you there—pinning you down and forcing you to accept every ounce of his cum until you’re squirming and shuddering beneath him

Fuck

He pulls out, flinching at how tight you still feel around him, like your body doesn’t want to release him

And yet, as soon as he’s completely out, you immediately snap your legs shut like you're beyond overstimulated

He ignores the aftershocks of adrenaline and endorphins pumping through his system to make sure that you’re ok, he didn’t hurt you, you're ok

You’re panting, dazed and shaking after getting thoroughly fucked out of your mind, but you still find the strength to laugh as you reassure him that you're fine

Even then, it isn’t until you press a chaste, breathless kiss to his neck that he’s finally comfortable enough to lie down next to you and pull you into his arms to cuddle

The two of you bask in the afterglow of your love-making as you catch your breaths

He can hear your heartbeat, feel the rise and fall of your body against his chest as he hugs you into him

You, in return, nuzzle into Jack, your hair tickling his neck, and his stomach does a few backflips into his chest at the simple gesture

He tries to relax, tries to clear his mind and stop overthinking—if only to enjoy the moment while it lasts, but he just can't

As soon as the high of his climax fades away, he’s right back to worrying

Except this time, he finally bites the bullet and asks the question out loud

“Are you sure you want this?”

You stir in his arms, surprised by his sudden question

“What do you mean?”

His nerves kick up to a ten, and he almost considers backing out of the conversation

But he knows he shouldn’t—he can’t—not again

“Like… you know…" he hesitates, "this. Us. Are you sure you want this?”

It dawns on him that you might not fully understand the implications of the mark yet

Surely, at the very least, Slender explained the basis of it, and everything it entails, right?

“…I do,” you answer with a hum

Still somehow not convinced, as though this is too good to be true, he pushes it further

"And, I… the mark… you know it… it’s permanent, right?”

Another hum of confirmation, this time accompanied by feather-light traces over his ashen skin, the contact absent-minded

“Like… Slender told you the conditions, right? We can try to figure a way out of it, but we might be bound together for—“

He doesn’t finish his sentence before you tug his face into yours in another sudden kiss

Your lips are as addictive as ever, and he finds himself already wanting more—always wanting more—even as you pull away

“I thought about it—for a while,” you admit, “and..."

It's your turn to hesitate this time, and the brief pause in your words has Jack’s stress levels skyrocketing

"And I wasn't sure about it at first"

You stop tracing invisible patterns on his skin, and he immediately misses the contact

He’s hanging off your every word by this point

The anticipation’s just about killing him

"It’s kind of a scary thought,” you eventually continue, “and... I've never been good at this sort of thing, but... I-I want this, Jack. I want you"

Even hearing you say it, hearing the words come out of your mouth, it still doesn't feel real

"And I... I know the mark might be affecting me somehow," you reach up, acting on instinct, to brush near the skin of your neck as you speak, "but I don't think it is. I think I’ve known for some time now, but… but I was too scared to admit it”

You swallow thickly

“I... I want to be with you, Jack”

You take a deep breath

“I… I think I’m in love with you”

Jack's heart seizes

It feels like it stops beating right then and there

A moment passes, and then another

It’s like his brain’s trying to decipher what you just said, like surely that doesn't actually mean what he wishes it means... right?

He realizes that he’s not saying anything, and you're growing nervous at the lack of response

But there’s a lump lodged in his throat and he doesn’t think he’d be able to form a cohesive sentence even if he tried

After what happened that night of his transformation, he never thought anyone would be able to love him again

He never thought he’d be worthy of someone’s love

But here you are

You're in his arms, in his bed, and you trust him enough to be this vulnerable around him

He doesn’t know what to say

He doesn’t know what to say, so he just cups your face and kisses you—hard

He forgets everything else around him

The world melts away until it’s just the two of you

Your scent, your taste, your everything—it's electrifying

When he pulls away, you’re dazed and panting once more, and the euphoria of it all is dizzying

He presses his forehead to yours, and you close your eyes, enjoying the closeness

“I love you,” he finally answers

It feels like a dream

He can’t believe he’s able to say the words out loud

You press your lips to his once more, and he realizes things are going to be ok—and he’s not just thinking that to reassure himself

He has you in his arms, and you’re safe, and you're all his, and everything is going to be ok

[strawberrychampagneglass]

Roses - pt. 1

Paige x Azzi

CW: cursing, implications of domestic violence (ONLY AT THE END), angst, maybe some fluff?, pining

9.3k words DAMN

A/N: holy shit guys I did not think I could pull this off and to think that this is gonna be a series is wild to me. Jokes aside, this took me about 2.5 weeks so expect (somewhat) infrequent updates due to school work and all that. Ik y'all have been waiting so I'll drop the first chapter. Something to be mindful of: initially this thing was in GSV then I changed it to LA last minute and then I changed Nika to Cam and Gabby to Dearica because Gabby and Nika didn't make sense to me at all so yea enjoy AND PLEASE DO GIVE ME FEEDBACK!!! I appreciate it a lot I WILL ADD A MASTERLIST WHEN MY HEART COMPELS ME TO

October 15th, 2028

Los Angeles, California

“Azzi,” her urgent voice calls out to the dark. She nearly trips over the entrance mat as she enters her apartment in the early morning hours. She drunkenly yells for her again as she stumbles towards her bedroom. 

The only response she gets is an echo of her voice.

She lands in her bed with a soft thud, her hand searching for the familiar warmth of another body. When she feels the cold bed sheet under her hand instead, the only thing she can hear is the hammering inside of her head while her heart throbs, threatening to pry itself out of its cage. Tears well in her eyes as she falls asleep. 

When she wakes up and checks her phone, she has one notification: a text message from Curt Miller. While it makes her heart palpitate as she remembers the happy memories, alarms blare in her head, reminding her of the bad that outweighed the good. 

Her excitement quickly turns to bitterness. Paige doesn’t want to play on the same team as Azzi. Not after the incident in her redshirt senior year. Not after their catastrophic argument at the 2025 WNBA draft. Not after she saw a new person with her Azzi. Not after she saw the diamond-studded ring on her fourth finger. 

Most of all, not after she built a stronghold with the most formidable defenses around her heart. 

July 29th, 2018

Minsk, Belarus 

The Belarusian crowd roars during the FIBA U17 Women’s Basketball World Cup final, drowning out the melody created by a screeching flute and deep, dulcet drum. With a very comfortable 32 point lead against the French in the middle of the fourth quarter, Paige is subbed out. She accepts the high-fives from her teammates before taking a seat at the end of the bench. Cheers flood the bench while they watch the clock wind down intently, waiting to relish in the intoxicating adrenaline following the victory. 

The blonde raps her foot against the floor anxiously; her jaw propped up by her clenched fists. From the point of view of her teammates, she is engaged in the game. However, inside of her mind, a storm brews.  She thinks of her best friend, the brunette girl with the number 6 on her back who is sat two seats to her left. Paige indulges in the memory of her fingers lingering on Azzi’s for that extra second after a high-five, their intertwined hands during the national anthem, and even when their shoulders brushed together in the team huddles and neither of them moved.

Her mind continues to wander until the bench unexpectedly explodes with chants of “USA” as the clock winds down into the last minute of the game. Paige springs from her seat on the bench, hollering as the adrenaline pumps through every vein in her body. When the final buzzer sounds, she shakes hands with the opposing team before hurling herself into the sea of navy jerseys. 

The rest goes by in a blur, her adrenaline depletes rapidly. The energetic girl is uncharacteristically quiet during their team dinner and even on the bus ride home where she opts to sit alone in the back, leaning her head against the cool window that soothed her aching head. 

As the bus pulls up to the hotel, Paige and Azzi lock eyes from opposing ends of the bus. The fatigue she once felt is quickly replaced with delight when Azzi gives her a tired smile with softened eyes, making her heart beat erratically. It’s still early in the evening, but the team agrees to celebrate in Cameron Brink’s room, without the coaches’ knowledge. While the team shuffles off the bus in a single-file line, Paige pushes through the never-ending hoard of her teammates until her eyes rest on a familiar brunette. She puts her hand on the brunette’s cold shoulder, catching her attention as she leaned into the warmth of Paige’s hand. Azzi chooses to ignore the pink that rose to the older girl’s cheeks and smiles at her. 

“Are you going to Cam’s?” Paige asks sheepishly, trying to hide her smile. Azzi chuckles before responding with a nod. 

“She is my roommate, so I guess I’m obligated to go.” Paige grins from ear-to-ear as they chat until they reach their respective hotel rooms. She changes into sweatpants and opts for a Hopkins Basketball hoodie. Although it's the middle of summer, the temperatures in Minsk are frigid compared to the Minnesota heat. 

Furtively leaving her hotel room, she spots her teammate, Zia Cooke, attempting to sneak several bottles of cheap vodka into Cam’s room, her shoulders are tense and eyes rove across the empty hallway. Paige giggles before walking over to the shorter girl to offer a hand. When her teammate’s eyes land on her friendly face, the muscles in her shoulders loosen.

“Paige, thank god,” she breathes, relieved. “I was so scared that Carla or Stephen would jump out of their rooms.” Paige laughs at the image of Coach Berube catching Zia while looking like a deer in headlights, juggling 5 bottles of vodka. Feeling bad for her teammate, she takes three bottles from her arms and opens the door to Cam’s room. The two girls are met with 10 pairs of curious eyes who cheer at the sight of the vodka bottles.

***

An hour later, the potent odor of vodka floods the room. Most of her teammates gossip about their crushes back home; others watch the late-night shows on the Belarusian TV channels, a few are even snoring obnoxiously on Azzi’s bed. Paige, who is completely sober, feels irritated from her spot on the floor as she watches the dramatic show that is being projected on the TV. She isn’t sure if it was the lack of alcohol, or if it was the sight of her best friend who presses her body against Hailey Van Lith while an arm that wasn’t hers is strung around the brunette’s waist and resting on her toned abdominal muscles. 

When Azzi notices the blonde’s glare at Hailey, she walks off the bed and carefully treads towards the table of alcohol, pouring a full glass of vodka. Her eyes flick to Paige, who stares at the glass of vodka in her hand. Unamused and frustrated, Paige returns her attention to the show on the TV until she feels a warm hand tilt her chin back. Azzi looks at her, emotionless, as she stands behind her. They stare at each other wordlessly before the older head lands on a soft, toned leg. Her lower lip meets the cool rim of the glass that Azzi filled with vodka.

The brunette moves her face closer before she tips the glass upward while noticing a light streak of red across Paige’s cheeks. “Drink,” she whispers, and Paige complies. She feels the alcohol burn her esophagus as she swallows the oily and bitter liquid. Their faces linger in the close proximity as they breathe in synchronization. It takes every ounce of self control in Paige’s body to not close the distance between their lips. 

“You look pretty,” Paige smiles, hoping for a laugh and a friendly slap across the shoulder from her friend. Instead, Azzi returns a frown with furrowed eyebrows, moving her head away. 

“Paige, I can’t enjoy my evening when you’re glaring at everyone I’m sitting with,” Azzi huffs with an edge to her voice. “Go get drunk and leave me alone.” Paige scowls; she knows that Azzi isn’t exclusive to her, but she wants some exclusivity. At the end of the day, they’re just best friends, nothing more. Nevertheless, the thought of another girl’s body pressing her body flush against Azzi infuriates her. From her spot on the floor, she feels the warmth of her friend’s body disappear as she walks back to her spot next to Hailey. 

She grabs her wallet and phone and leaves the room. 

***

When she returns to her hotel room hours later, she slams the newly-bought bottle of vodka on her nightstand, shaking the entire room. It isn’t a big bottle; it’s around the size of a Gatorade bottle. The cashier at the convenience store didn’t bother checking the 16-year-old’s ID, assuming she was of legal drinking age. She popped the cap off the bottle and brought it to her mouth. Her lips begin to form a suction around the opening as she tilts her head back, swallowing the searing liquid. She throws the rest of the liquid down her throat when the thought of Azzi’s words cross her mind. She tightens her grip on the bottle and her tongue scours for the last few drops of the liquid, hungry for the feeling of the alcohol. She sits on her bed in silence, staring at her feet until she feels the effects of the alcohol course through her veins. Her vision begins to blur and the entire room begins to swirl. Through her blurred vision, she still manages to identify the lamp that sits perfectly still on the nightstand. Her free hand reaches for the dangling chain that serves as a lever for the light. Giving it a slight tug, the light flickers briefly before illuminating the entire room. To her shock, a familiar brunette girl with bronze skin sits across from her.

“Are you done being an alcoholic so we can talk?”

“Azzi, what the fuck?” the blonde stammers, frustrated. She sets the bottle down and stares at her friend in disbelief. When Paige gets no response from her, she stands up and starts stumbling towards the door, nearly tripping over herself.

“Paige, wait,” Azzi catches the blonde, observing the older girl’s cloudy eyes. Even while drunk, her blue eyes remind her of her lake house; her second home. The thought makes her heart flutter despite the agonized look painted across her best friend’s entire face. “I’m sorry, we can talk about this if you want. I know I hurt you, and I take full accountability for it.” 

Paige knows she is in damage control mode, but she has a soft spot for the girl; a part that is willing to forgive her and move on. 

She chooses to ignore it and let her irritation control her words. “You didn’t want to talk before, so you don’t get to talk now,” she hisses. Azzi flinches, unaccustomed to her hostility. “You told me to leave you alone, and now you’re in my room, begging for forgiveness. I don’t understand you.” Her arms fly erratically before reaching the collar of her hoodie, tugging it down to ease her tense muscles.“For god’s sake, we’re best friends. Sure, best friends tell each other everything, but my best friend doesn’t get to tell me to leave her alone and show up in my hotel room 2 fucking hours later.”

“I’m not yours, Paige. You don’t have any right to control my actions.” The retort makes Paige wince. “If I want to be with Hailey, you have to respect that. I have a right to be frustrated because I don’t belong to you.” 

“Okay, how about a heads up next time instead of you getting cozy with someone else in front of your best fucking friend. I thought we agreed that we would ‘see each other later’” 

“She was drunk and she came up to me, and we did see each other. There was nothing binding about that agreement. I can be friends with other people and you can too, unless I’m your only friend.” Azzi’s anger rises as well as she picks at her cuticles. 

“You’re an asshole.” Paige breathes, releasing the hoodie. “You tried to get me drunk while trying to seduce me.” The other girl’s mouth opens before getting cut off. “Then, you went back over and cuddled up to her. I don’t have a problem with you seeing people, but even a short-term notice would’ve been nice. It’s fucking awkward when I’m sitting there–surrounded by drunk people who are all passed out on the damn floor–and my best friend is cuddling up to a person we barely even know.” 

“You know what? You sound really fucking insecure right now. Maybe you should go book a flight back to fucking Minnesota and we’ll never have to see each other again. You’ll never get jealous over me when I go on dates with other people.” As soon as the words leave her mouth, she wishes that she can take them back and shove them down her throat. Paige stares at her, emotionless. After a few minutes, Azzi’s voice cuts through the thick air. “Say something, please. You’re freaking me out.” 

“I wish I was yours, Azzi,” Paige whispers softly, so softly that Azzi thinks she mishears. She scowls, but her heart flutters from the confession.

“I need you to tell me that when you’re completely sober. I can’t trust you when you’re drunk.” she sighs, looking at the blonde who has tears brimming in her eyes. However, she can’t shake the warm, fuzzy feeling in her heart from her words. She can’t describe the feelings, and the thought of treading into unexplored emotional territory makes her queasy. 

“I wish I was yours,” Paige urges, with genuine sincerity in her tone despite the alcohol.

“Paige–”

Before she could finish her sentence, Paige grabs her wrist and pulls the younger girl into her. The blonde drags her along a premeditated route, stumbling several times. Biting the nails on her free hand, Azzi’s mind swarms with endless possibilities of danger; they could be kidnapped by random Belarusians, the coaches could catch them while getting a midnight snack, or they could get lost and never see their families again. But Paige was Paige, guiding her to their destination. The warmth radiating from the other girl’s body hypnotized her. It felt safe. Too safe. 

Paige leads her through the maze of the city until they reach the edge of a river. Even under the late-night sky, airplanes weave between silhouettes of clouds; their green and red lights blink, bringing life to the sky. The city is calm and serene at this hour, with the occasional passer-byer that ignores the two girls. The solitude is disrupted by cars gliding across the bustling road across the river bank with horns that blare occasionally. Street lights hug the river bank; streaks of yellow and orange rippled back and forth on the water. The breeze is soft, like a baby’s blanket. It carries the occasional, faint scent of cigarette smoke which is unexpectedly comforting. 

The two sit in mutual silence, away from each other. They both avoided the topic of the prior conversation. Paige hums softly, her body warm from the alcohol. “I didn’t know they had fireworks this late at night.” Her speech is slurred, yet Azzi still laughs in response. The sound of her laugh is like a piece of music written by Beethoven to her; a sound that can be played over and over without getting old. 

“They’re not fireworks, they’re street lights reflecting off the water.” The blonde squints, squatting on the large cement block that she had been sitting on. As she cranes her head closer, nearly falling off the block, Azzi scrambles to catch the blonde as she reflexively yanks her waist backwards. They laugh before Paige puts her hand on hers. 

“You’re acting really sober,” Paige declares while studying Azzi’s facial features. 

“I am sober, so I think it’s a good thing that I’m acting sober.” The younger girl chuckles, punching her friend’s arm lightly with her free hand. Flustered, Paige averts her gaze to the shimmering undulations on the surface of the water. Unsure of whether it was the alcohol that was twisting her mind, or if it was the dim, golden lighting that lights up the left side of Azzi’s face, all she can think about is that her best friend is beautiful.  It drives Paige insane; her bronze skin gleams and her umber eyes light up and become a light, almost golden shade of brown. 

“Sometimes I wish that you could be in Minnesota with me all the time.” 

“Well, you could come to Virginia and stay with me…” Azzi proposes before smiling at Paige, but she doesn't meet her eyes. The blonde is scrunching her face with her attention on Azzi’s arms, and not her face. “What’s wrong? Paige?”

“You’re cold,” Paige whispers, shifting her weight so she and Azzi sit facing each other. Trailing her hand up the other girl’s arm, her fingertips dance along the mountain ranges of goosebumps on her tender skin. Paige’s warm touch makes her feel something. Their eyes clash, uncertainty swarming in both pairs. “I meant what I said earlier,” Paige glances at her lips, breaking the eye contact. “I wish I was yours.” Her hand reaches for Azzi’s cheek, cupping it lightly, and the brunette melts into her touch.

Panic rises as a lump in her throat. They’re young–too young. Azzi’s feelings are new and confusing. She doesn’t know what love feels like and it scares her. As a kid, she was told that “love” was when two people cared for each other a lot. It was obvious that they care for each other a lot. They talk for hours, each word flowing effortlessly while they howl in laughter about something that the other said. Every touch they share is electric: sparks fly erratically through every vein of their bodies. After every argument, Paige is the first to apologize because she knows that Azzi overthinks. 

She moves her face closer and drapes her hands on the blonde’s nape. Paige takes the bait.

Her slightly-parted lips meet Azzi’s warm and soft lips. She closes her eyes, pulling the younger girl’s face in before pulling away after several seconds. The kiss is short, but sweet. Azzi looks at her hands, not wanting to meet the blue eyes knowing that she made a mistake, and the kiss shouldn’t have happened. The once well-established boundaries of their friendship are permanently breached. Yet her cheeks flush and she misses the warmth provided by the close proximity of Paige’s body.

“Raise your arms,” Paige mutters shyly as Azzi is enveloped in the warmth of a thick hoodie. Paige’s hoodie. The scent of Paige’s rosy perfume encases her and a contented sigh escapes her lips. 

“Are you cold?” Azzi observed her best friend’s exposed arms. 

“Nah, I’m alright. You can keep that by the way,” she motions to the hoodie that hugged Azzi’s torso. “It can be a souvenir from Belarus from me. Something that can remind you of tonight forever.” The brunette smiles and wraps her arms around the blonde; she is the clay that Paige can shape into anything she wants. They just fit together. 

The girls dance through the city and totter unsteadily to the hotel, where they collapse in the comfort of Paige’s bed, satisfied laughs slipping out of their mouths after sneaking past the rooms of their teammates. 

“Would you like me to walk you back to your room, Madame Fudd?” Paige teases before a pillow slams into her face. “Hey! Azzi!” She shrieks, scrambling to grab another pillow before falling flat on her face. Azzi laughs hysterically for a few moments until the room stills into an unsettling quiet. 

“You’re so chivalrous, Bueckers.” Azzi looks around her room, fidgeting with her fingers. “But, uh, since there’s a few drunk bodies on my bed,” The blonde cocks her head at her and smirks; the simple motion makes her heart lurch. “And also because you also don’t have a roommate and I thought that you might be a little lonely tonight, especially because you’ll be hungover in the morning, I was wondering if I could stay here tonight.” Paige breaks out into an ear-to-ear grin and tackles her in a bear hug, shoving them to the bed where their bodies melded into each other. 

Amongst the clamor, there is an uneasy feeling in Paige’s gut that she can’t shake, but she chooses to ignore the feeling as she lets her body intertwine with the younger girl’s. 

October 19th, 2028

New York City, New York

Azzi is selfish. 

Anything she gets her hands on, she wants to keep for herself. She is a hoarder who wants to keep everything that she loves forever. 

Unfortunately, when you fall in love with everything, you can’t have it all.

She paces back and forth at the gate, biting her nails and avoiding the gaze of her fiancé. Tugging the collar of her hoodie from her high school days over her head, she allows a satisfied sigh to escape her mouth as she is cloaked with a comforting rose scent. It was nostalgic; it held so many memories that felt so important and so irrelevant at the same time. But the scent made her feel hopeful of something she couldn’t place. 

“Is everything okay, babe?” startled, she drops the hoodie to smile weakly at her fiancé.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just a little tired. The thought of everything scares me a little.” Azzi chuckles. Instead of a friendly smile from her fiancé, she notices his scowl at the text on her hoodie. Her heart drops into her stomach, knowing that this would prompt an argument from him over a certain college teammate. 

“I’m so happy you finally chose to leave the cesspool of New York,” her fiancé sneers, “and, I’m so excited to soak up the LA sun.” Azzi doesn’t react to his comments, avoiding an argument at all costs. He came to all her games and cheered her on, but he always hated New York City. It was either too cold or too hot, too rainy or too sunny and never the perfect balance between the two. 

As long as he’s happy, I am too. 

Los Angeles, California

Paige is protective. 

She loves her possessions and hates it when people take them. She wants to shield everything she loves from hurt and pain. 

Orange and pink rays of sunlight stream through the tall glass panes by Paige’s bedside, bathing her bedroom in a warm glow. She stirs awake, her sore body begging for 15 extra minutes of sleep. Her throat feels raw and her eyelids are weighted. Instead of fighting against the weight, Paige lets her eyes close while thinking about the consequences of not showing up to Azzi’s welcome party. When she first caught wind of the news, she called Cameron Brink to come to her apartment. She complained to her for hours while blackout drunk before inevitably passing out. When she woke up the next morning to dozens of angry texts from Cam, she apologized profusely, showing up to her apartment with the shoes that her friend had been eyeing for months and bags of Sour Patch Kids.

It was safe to say that Paige wasn’t allowed anywhere near alcohol tonight if she chose to go. At least, not under Cam’s watch. 

The Sparks had an extremely successful campaign last year and capped off the season with a championship title along with Paige’s first league MVP and finals MVP awards. The feeling is still surreal, and the thought of it pumps more adrenaline through her body. Even though the season was extremely successful, the threat of injuries plagued the guards last year. Also, the Sparks were in desperate need of a guard with the ability to knock down shots and step into the role of a strong playmaker.

Was she expecting Azzi to join the Sparks? Eventually, yes. She is desperate for a championship run. 

Did she want to celebrate a piece of her past she let go before her birthday? No. 

Is she happy about it? Absolutely not. 

Her phone began to vibrate violently under her pillow, prying her from her thoughts. She rolls over to scrutinize the contact name with a groan. Her blood runs cold and she taps the green phone icon on the 4th ring.

“Paige! Thank god I got in contact with you.” Katie Fudd exhales. Paige feels the weight of her panic that reciprocates her own through the phone. “I know we haven’t really talked in about, um, three years,” she pauses, unsure of how to continue when she hears Paige’s sharp inhale, “but, have you heard from Azzi recently? She’s supposed to be arriving in LA today, at least that’s what the media says.” 

“No, I…I haven’t heard anything, Katie,” she rasps, her throat ablaze. Her lips run dry. The media?

Paige makes small talk with Katie, catching up on major events in their life while both of them try to avoid the topic of Azzi. It was brought up once and Paige could barely perceive the muffled, yet pained sobs on the other end of the phone.

“I know you have your Unrivaled league coming up in the new year, but it would be great if you could come visit us during Thanksgiving or even Christmas,” Katie proposes as they near the end of their conversation. 

“I’ll take a look at my schedule and try to pull some strings, but no promises. I have plans to visit my dad and Drew over the Thanksgiving weekend in Maryland, so we’ll see what happens.” Paige replies, acknowledging the piece of her that wants to let the past go. The part where she was too close to Azzi and her family. She knows that visiting them means treading into foreign territory. 

“We miss you, Paige. Jon and Jose miss their ‘son’ too,” Katie laughs, relieving Paige of a heavy, bone-crushing weight on her heart. “Happy early birthday too, we could never forget. We love you, you’re still family to us.”

Paige smiles, a genuine ear-to-ear grin. “Love you too, Kaite. Tell the brothers and Tim I say hi as well.” She says before hanging up. 

“You’re still family to us.” The words rang in her head, warming her frozen heart. It wasn’t enough to thaw it, but it was enough to invoke thoughts of hope. She was torn from her reverie by a knock at her door. Humming to herself as she sauntered out of her bedroom, she opened the door to her apartment.

“Woah, I never thought I’d see you smiling like you’re on Disney Channel,” the blonde at the door laughs, surprised. Paige scowls at her words which prompts Cam to laugh harder. “I did bring breakfast though, knowing your current mental state. You look like shit, Paige.” She sets two paper bags on Paige’s kitchen island. They sit across each other on the spinning bar stools Cam loves. 

The two chat buoyantly; Cam tells her stories about her boyfriend, Ben, and his new obsession with cars or whatever. Paige doesn’t really pay attention to her rambling because of a painful ache in her heart. Even though it had been a year since Cam moved to Los Angeles, the two still learn new details about Over the past year, Cam used the fact that the shorter woman struggled to maintain a relationship for more than a few weeks as the butt of all her jokes. Despite being annoyed at first, Paige was quite amused with herself.

“Azzi’s mom called me earlier,” Paige abruptly says, interrupting Cam in her spiel about her brother’s recent breakup.

“...is that why you were smiling earlier? Paige, not even 5 days ago you made me-”

“From what I’ve…figured out, they haven’t been able to get in contact with Azzi. Katie seemed distraught when she accidentally brought her up.” 

“Are you implying that she got kidnapped?” Cam laughs uncomfortably, trying to avoid the weight of the situation. 

“It’s a possibility.” Paige mutters. Cam stops laughing and an uneasy silence drapes the room like a heavy curtain.

“I guess we’ll find out later, but don’t stress about it. You could be overthinking the entire situation. Don’t make that face, I know that you don’t want to go, but out of respect for your future teammate, you need to.” Cam sighs while rubbing circles on her temples. “I’m going to pick her and her supposed fiancé up at the airport. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“Thanks for breakfast, Cam. Drive safe,” she calls out as the door to her apartment shuts. And suddenly, her mind is thrown back 5 years to the keychain that Azzi bought them in their early 20s as a gift. Drive safe, I need you here with me. I love you. 

***

“Azzi Fudd! This is Kendra Andrews with ESPN. What are your thoughts on the Sparks franchise?” 

“What prompted the move from New York to LA?” 

“How do you plan to integrate yourself into the team?” 

“What excites you the most about the LA Sparks franchise?”

Dozens of reporters and journalists surround her. They fight amongst each other to thrust microphones into her face. Sweat beads down the back of Azzi’s neck as she tries to answer as many questions as she can while being mindful of her fiancé’s limited patience. He had gone on his phone, ignoring Azzi as she drowns in a sea of cheap cologne and felt-tipped microphones. She quickly interrupts the reporters after 10 minutes and bid a polite farewell. Her heart stings with a bit of remorse when some of the reporters in the crowd express their frustration through whisper-shouts to their colleagues because they got a different answer than what they would’ve hoped. As she makes her way to her fiancé, her head hanging low, she mentally prepares herself for the incoming argument. 

“You’re a piece of shit,” her fiancé hisses, “you took ten fucking minutes to talk to some fans.”

“Please, not here. Not while the reporters are still around,” Azzi whispers, frantically scouting for reporters. 

“Save your bullshit for later. Call an Uber and get me out of here.” While leading her fiancé towards the airport exit, Azzi picks at her cuticles. “Oh, and next time,” her fiancé continues, “don’t be a pussy-sucking people pleaser and just give them an autograph. I don’t have the time for this, there are better things I should be doing that does not include waiting for you.” Tears begin to well but she blinks them back, trying to put up a facade for the public as she smiles half-heartedly for selfies. The lump in her throat threatens to roll out of her mouth. The thought of a night in the hotel sends a cold bead of sweat down her back. She doesn’t want to be left alone with her fiancé. She doesn’t trust him. 

A firm hand grabs Azzi’s wrist, pulling her back into the present. She rips her hand away reflexively before processing the familiar face that belonged to her temporary roommate in Belarus. For the first time since she left New York, Azzi breaks out in a full-faced smile and throws herself into Cam’s open arms.

Her mind wanders to the other future WNBA teammate, who she had not seen since the 2025 WNBA draft. The thought of her quickened her heart, but the feeling sours when she becomes aware of her fiancé by her side. 

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever, oh my god,” Cam laughs, punching Azzi’s arm lightly, a gesture from her USA basketball days when Coach Berube made an off-handed comment. She flinches in response, which Cam chooses to ignore. “Oh, and you must be Azzi’s fiancé. I’ve heard so much about you, and it’s so nice to meet you. I’m Cam,” the blonde chirps, turning her attention to Azzi’s fiancé, offering a friendly smile and a hand. “I don’t think I ever got your name.” Her fiancé remains silent, but his jaw muscles tighten and his cold, green eyes look at her with animosity and spite. Not wanting to raise suspicion, Cam plasters a smile and leads them to her car.

Cam makes a mental note to tell Paige about their interaction with an emphasis on the flinch. 

“...This is the Uber you ordered?” her fiancé snarls when the other woman is out of earshot. 

“You need to calm down. She’s my teammate, and this is a thoughtful gesture,” Azzi retorts before covering her mouth. Her breathing becomes shallow and her face pales as her fiancé inches his face closer to her ear until his hot, rancid breath drowns out her awareness of everything around her. The hustling environment of the airport disappears and her world is engulfed in silence until four words snap her out of her trance. 

“Drop this shit, now.” 

***

The ride to the hotel where the two would be temporarily staying was brisk, although Azzi wished it would have lasted longer. The brunettes reminisced on their college days while laughing hysterically. 

“Have you talked to Geno after he finally retired?” Cam asks playfully, making eye contact with Azzi through the rear-view mirror. Instead of Azzi’s warm brown eyes, she meets her fiancé’s swampy green eyes. The blonde feels a chill run down her spine, unable to detect any emotion on the fiancé’s face. 

“Nope, not at all.” Cam raises her eyebrows, clearly amused. 

“Wow, it’s been two years since he retired. He even went to the draft to support you and, um, nevermind.” The blonde shakes her head, cursing to herself. Azzi laughs awkwardly, trying to lift the guilt off her friend’s shoulders, but her fiancé is unamused. “About time though, I thought that he nearly got a heart attack during the March Madness championship in 2025.” The two erupt in laughter, tears falling from their eyes. Her fiancé glares at Cam through the mirror, prompting her to awkwardly change the topic to the Sparks and their team culture. Azzi ignores the glare and continues her conversation with her friend. 

Her fiancé isn’t completely out of the loop despite his apathy towards Azzi’s WNBA career. He knows who Paige Bueckers is, the national championship they won in 2025, but he only vaguely knows about the relationship that she and Azzi shared during their collegiate campaigns. If their relationship was an iceberg, her fiancé only sees the tip of the iceberg, the visible part that the media shared, the two in a million SLAM cover, their rise to stardom in USA U16 basketball, and most importantly, their adversities through injury together. What she doesn’t know is the true depth and complexity of their relationship, veiled beneath a thick layer of dark, murky water that neither she nor Paige are ready to uncover. As their lives began to diverge, so did the currents in the water; they pushed and pushed on their relationship until it came crumbling down, splitting the iceberg into two parts that are now just Azzi and just Paige. 

Thanking Cam as they slip out of the car, Azzi checks into the hotel room where she and her fiancé sit on opposite sides of the king-sized bed. Her head hangs and she looks at her hands before her fiancé breaks the silence first.

“Hey,” he sighs, walking over to Azzi. When she lifts her head to meet her fiancé’s eyes, branches of tears stream from her eyes and down her cheeks, splitting into multitudes of different directions. 

“Am I not good enough for you? One moment you hate me, and the next you’re suddenly in love with me again.” Azzi sobs, pulling her hair in frustration. “I’m trying my hardest, and it hurts when you don’t reciprocate the feelings.” She wipes her eyes while her fiancé stares at her in disbelief, masking his anger. He paces to the door before walking back to Azzi, feigning an empathetic look. 

“No, baby, you’re perfect.” Her fiancé mutters , pulling the brunette’s head to his chest as he kisses her forehead softly while wiping her tears. “I love you so much. I appreciate everything you do.” Azzi could feel that his words felt wrong and uncomfortable coming out of his mouth. 

“Love you too”

***

Paige walks in circles around her room while Cam summarizes the airport pickup, sprawled out on the blonde’s bed. “You didn’t even get his name. Damn.” Paige’s voice is laced with worry. 

“All you need to know is that her fiancé is fucking weird. He was like ‘I’m so sick of this bullshit’ the whole time without speaking a single word. I introduced myself to him like a normal fucking person and he stood there and stared me down, as if I was competition or something.” Cam breathes, putting her face in her hands. Paige feels the same, unable to piece together the puzzling situation. “This whole situation is  crazy. I was talking about Geno’s retirement and she hasn’t talked to him in years. Isn’t that weird? I feel like he’s also the jealous type. She wore your Hopkins hoodie and her fiancé kept eyeing it the whole time.”

Paige’s heart skips a beat at her words. Her Hopkins hoodie. The one from the night in Belarus: even though it had been over 10 years, Paige remembers it clearly. It was the first time she was in love. “That’s weird. You picked them up from the airport, and he was glaring at you the entire time in the car. Then, you- like, jokingly punched her. How hard was this punch?”

“KK-punching-Ice-after-losing-a-bet-about-your-life hard.” 

“Okay, so not that hard.”

“I’m pretty sure I heard her fiancé call her a stuck-up pussy eater while they argued about the reporters before I picked them up.” Paige raises an eyebrow at the statement before coughing awkwardly, mumbling under her breath.

“Just– be careful Paige. She isn’t yours anymore. I know you’re still not over her,” She winces at her friend’s words, “and it’s the harsh truth, but I seriously think that you need to find someone else to distract you.” 

“We both know that finding someone else hasn’t worked for me either. I’m worried about her. She’s my best friend, my ride or die.”

“She betrayed you. You need to move on. Best friends don’t betray each other like… that.”

***

Flanked by her fiancé, Azzi walks through the large, wooden doors of the restaurant next to her hotel. It was a short walk, but she took in the salty smell of the city. The breeze was sharp and it nipped her exposed arms. She was shivering and rubbing her hands up and down her arms. 

“You must be Ms. Fudd,” the waitress waiting for her arrival smiles at her, “your table is over here, please follow me.”  The short walk through the labyrinth of tables set with velvety red cloths that had a golden trim on its edges was interrupted by a crimson-colored curtain. The chatter behind the curtains feels daunting, and she wants to turn around and run back to Arlington. The waitress pulls the curtain to the side to reveal a table full with people, her teammates, laughing and talking boisterously amongst themselves. The first person to stand up is Cam, who embraces her in a loose hug. Seconds later, nearly all of her new teammates have thrown themselves into her arms.

The last person to stand up is the blonde. Her wavy, blonde hair, lighter from the Californian sun, is tucked behind her ears and falls down her back like a loose shawl. Her skin glows gold against the yellow lighting of the dining room. She wears a freshly ironed button-up dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to expose her toned forearms. Only the right side of her shirt was tucked into her brown trousers that hang loosely from her hip, ghosting her ankles. A beige bomber jacket that matches her pants is slung around her shoulders and a watercolor-patterned scarf is draped around her neck. The gold studs and helix ring on her left ear reflect the light of the chandelier that hangs from chains above the dining table. When their eyes meet, Azzi searches her eyes for a sense of comfort in her familiar blue eyes that her dark mascara emphasizes. Instead, she finds nothing in her cold and emotionless eyes. Paige embraces her new teammate in a stiff and loose hug, her muscles tense when Azzi’s hands roam her back. Immediately, she is engulfed in her rosy perfume, the same scent that she finds solace and comfort in. Her stomach churns, yet there is a certain warmth that flickers in her heart. Everything about the blonde screamed Paige, and Paige is beautiful. 

“Welcome to LA,” she says while pulling out of the hug. Refusing to look at her, she turns to the man looming in the corner while offering a hand. At the table, Cam sucks a sharp breath in, casting a warning glance at Paige which is ignored. Azzi stiffens and her heart hammers. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Paige, and you are?”

“I’m Charles,” he murmurs, accepting the handshake and offering a small, sly smile. Azzi’s eyes widen. Her fiancé is rarely friendly, especially not to Paige. They glare at each other for a brief moment before she takes a seat next to Cam. 

Her fiancé and her sit side-by-side at the table, across from Paige and Cam. Charles slides his hand into Azzi’s under the table, squeezing it softly. The small gesture makes Azzi smile as she leans into her fiancé, enjoying his comforting presence. It isn’t much, but it’s enough to take her mind off of the blonde sitting directly across from her, laughing with her WNBA teammates. It annoys her.

Azzi is selfish. 

***

The entire table has some sort of alcoholic beverage in their hands or in their stomachs. Paige sits awkwardly, sipping a Shirley Temple whose sugary and overly sweet grenadine has become bitter on her tongue. Nausea seeps into the edges of her head and begins to spread like wildfire and she finds herself rubbing circles on her forehead. She can’t stand the sound of Azzi’s bubbly laughter across the table. The sound that threatened to burn a hole through her heart. 

“So, how did you guys meet?” Dijonai Carrington cocks an eyebrow at the couple while swirling her cocktail in her cup. 

A brief panicked look flashes across Azzi’s face before Charles cuts in. “We met in college.” His answer is curt and dry, yet polite. Several of her teammates cooed at his response, gushing over the couple. The two women jump into a conversation about their college lovers. 

That should’ve been me.

“What a fucking people pleaser.” Paige snickers to Cam while blinking back the unwelcome moisture that began to form under her eyes. She throws back the rest of her drink before dropping her head into her arms.

“Are you sure you don’t want any alcohol? Like, a thousand percent positive?” Dearica Hamby, the star forward of the Valkyries asks Paige while rubbing the taller woman’s back. Through the seemingly innocent image of the question, she notices genuine concern painted in the woman’s softened eyes.

“She’s alright without it,” Cam answers before she could open her mouth. “We made an agreement that she would have no alcohol tonight because I had to clean up after her last time.” The entire table howls in laughter, and Paige joins them with a half-hearted smile while heart fractures. 

If her smile didn’t split into a frown at the corners of her mouth or her chin didn’t wrinkle, Azzi’s heart wouldn’t have stopped and she would’ve been laughing with her teammates. 

“Yeah, I had to show up to her apartment with shoes and a shit load of candy because I felt so guilty.” She sneaks a glance at the brunette sitting across from her. Instead of laughing with the team, she was engaged in a conversation with her fiancé, prompting her to avert her gaze. It takes every piece of her dignity not to stare at the brunette. Her dark, curly hair is braided and hangs just above her shoulders; the same hairstyle that she jokingly called a bob back in their college days. She wears a baby blue knitted tank that reveals her muscular arms and white, flowy linen pants that hug her hips. 

However, when Paige’s eyes pass by the soon-to-be married couple, searching for something, they follow the pattern of their intertwined arms and hands hidden under the table. Looking at Cam, she whispers, “I need to get out of here.” the taller woman waves a hand at her, signaling for her to go ahead. She files through her wallet and grabs a few hundred-dollar bills and hands them to Cam, which she graciously accepts. Dearica flashes her a sympathetic look before returning to her drinking game. 

“I got a call from my mom and I gotta take it. I’ll be right back.” Announcing to the table, she grabs her phone and stands up, stepping over her drunk and overly rowdy teammates. When she finally slips behind the thick velvet curtain, she finally feels as if she can breathe. The curtain has become a barrier between her and a certain pair of brown eyes that burns holes through the back of her head. She knows that man. The blur of dark curls and olive and brown skin became too vivid. She needs to get out. It hurts her. 

Paige is protective. 

*** 

The neat blonde bun disappears behind the curtain with a soft, almost inaudible swoosh. She tries to talk with her teammates, laughing at their jokes, but everything feels forced. The image of Paige's stiff posture and the death grip she had on her phone haunts her. All of a sudden, her fiancé’s once soft hand feels heavy and scratchy against her skin.

“I need some air. I’ll be right back,” She announces as she gets up, dropping her fiancé’s hand. Cam and Dearica pause their argument over their stupid drinking game and stare at her with their mouths agape. There is undeniable panic swirling in both pairs of wide-open eyes, but Cam gives a hesitant nod.  

“Is everything alright babe?” Charles’s voice is soft but urgent. “I can come with you.” Azzi looks at him with a warm smile before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

As she exits the restaurant, she is met with an intricate spectacle of orange, pink, and blue. The light of the day quickly disappears, but she discerns a hunched silhouette on the beach that glows under the golden light. Her attention shifts to the orange circle that barely peeks out through the edge of the horizon as it slowly sinks underneath the water, leaving a trail of orange and pink light rippling across the surface of the water. Waves crash loudly against the shore before they are drawn back to the ocean while laughter and joyful screams from children join the peaceful ambience. 

“Are you just gonna stand there or do you wanna sit?” A tired voice rips her out of her thoughts as she tears her gaze from the astonishing scene in front of her. She glances at the woman sitting next to her who has her knees up to her chest and her head resting on her forearms. Azzi decides to sit a few feet away from her. For a split second, it feels like their fragmented friendship could be salvaged again. 

She slips her sandals off and lets her feet absorb the texture of the flaky sand while shivering when a gust of wind hits her skin. Instead of ignoring the mechanical sound of teeth chattering, Paige shakes the jacket off her shoulders and hands it to her which Azzi graciously accepts. When she wraps it around her shoulders, she is engulfed in the aroma of roses again. 

“I thought you had a call to take,” Azzi remarks, her voice soft. Veins snake down the woman’s arms and hands until they disappear behind her knuckles. Her pale skin had become golden and her biceps protrude from the rest of her arm. The neat braids in her hair are now ruffled and frizzy, and small wisps of hair dance with the breeze. On her wrist is a beaded bracelet that reads “RESILIENCE.” The bracelet from her camp before their explosive argument. The sight of it makes her heart flutter, but when she reaches her face, a cold wave of dread washes over her as she notices the smeared mascara and faint patches of salty skin on her cheeks. 

“Yeah, I did.” Paige answers bluntly, her voice cracking slightly. An uncomfortable silence falls upon them; the air heavy from their unspoken words. Azzi’s heart throbs at her cold tone. “What brings you out here?” she asks after a few moments. 

“I felt nauseous.” Paige scoffs at her response, shaking her head. 

“Bullshit.” 

“Paige, why are you so fucking blunt?” Azzi exasperates, throwing her hands up in the air in surrender. “You hugged me earlier and that whole time, you were stiff as a rock. It’s been 3 fucking years, it’s time to grow the fuck up.” When Paige says nothing in response, Azzi continues. “I’m trying to be the bigger person here and you’re being unfair. I told you that we can stay friends and then you fucking gho-”

“Your fiancé,” the blonde sneers, tearing Azzi out of her rant. Her voice is shaky and dangerously close to breaking. Through the golden light, she can see the tears brimming behind her smudged eyelashes. “He’s the one that you met at Ted’s, right?” Azzi stays silent, giving Paige the confirmation she needed. “You’re not being the bigger person, not at all. You’re only talking to me because you want something out of me. Azzi, you’re being selfish.”  The last word hits Azzi like a cold bucket of water. 

“You’re being unfair,” Azzi says shakily, refusing to meet the blonde’s eyes. 

Paige lets out a strangled sputter before opening her mouth. “I’m being unfair? Me being mad over you getting cozy with another man after our natty suddenly means that I’m being unfair?” 

“No, that’s not what I meant. You’re being unfair because you’re hurting him with your comments. Do you think I can’t hear the derogatory names you’ve called him tonight?” Azzi scrunches her face and turns to the blonde, whose attention is on the sand that snakes between her toes. 

“Are you happy?” the older woman finally asks after a period of silence.

“I don’t know.”

“What?” Her blue eyes dart towards hers. 

“P.” Paige freezes at the use of her nickname, “I miss you. My offer still stands. We can go back to our friendship.” The last words are quiet, almost as if they aren’t supposed to be spoken. Memories of what they were rush through both of their minds. The women have something unreadable in both of their eyes as they stare at each other. 

“No, we.. we can’t.” Paige finally speaks, tearing her gaze away from her, letting out a shaky breath and gets up to leave, but before she can take a step forward, she feels a forceful hand clasp around her wrist that prompts a wave of panic to flood through her. “Azzi, let me go. You can’t do this. You’re getting married soon for god’s sake.”  

“Our last night in Belarus, I know you remember it. You wear the same perfume, you even gave me your hoodie. Shit, Paige, that was the time I knew that I fell in love with you. Every little thing you did for me felt like you were giving me your entire world. You fell in love with me too. Every argument we had, we made up, and we can make up from this too. I’m asking you to believe in us again. I won’t leave you.” For a split second, Paige’s eyes soften and she lets her walls down. She desperately wants to let go of her "tough guy" facade and let herself taste Azzi's lips again.

“No. You don’t get to say that now. Not when you have a fiancé waiting for you in the restaurant.” The vulnerability that Paige showed is once again blocked by the ramparts of her castle. The remembrance of Charles’s presence hits Azzi like an 18-wheeler. “It’s evident that you can’t own up to any of the mistakes that you made.” 

“You’re not taking any accountability for it either! Do you think I haven’t tried?” Paige flinches, backing away from Azzi who is now screaming. “You had to address it at the fucking draft. For fuck’s sake, let me explain my side of the story.” 

“I tried to give you space because clearly, you wanted to fuck around with him. You don’t get to explain your side of the story. It was the night of the March Madness championship and you ch-”

“Oh, shit.” A new voice joins their argument. Paige whips her head around and sees Dearica and Cameron looking at them with wide eyes. “Azzi, I don’t think you should-” 

“No it’s okay,” Paige feigns a smile before pulling out of Azzi’s grip. “Welcome to the City of Dreams, Azzi. I’m sorry for having to leave so abruptly.” 

And she’s gone. Packed away in the backseat of an Uber. It hurts Azzi more than it should. The doors to Paige’s heart that used to be held open for Azzi are now barricaded off, isolating her. 

“What the fuck happened?” The blonde turns to Azzi with an edge of hostility in her tone. Dearica glares at her, and Azzi’s heart free-falls into her stomach. 

“Azzi?!” Charles’s deep voice calls out, and Azzi is grateful to be saved from the awkward confrontation. When his eyes land on her, they soften and he wraps her into a tight embrace. Every piece of contact between them feels scratchy and uncomfortable, especially in Paige’s jacket. “Don’t fucking leave me again.” He snarls into her ear before glaring at her jacket. 

The other women turn to leave before exchanging an uncomfortable look with each other. 

***

An empty bottle of tequila is the only company Paige has on her bar table. Right as she lets the effects of the alcohol take her consciousness, her front door flies open. Every muscle in her body tenses and she buries her head into her arms in hopes that she will disappear. 

“P?” It’s Cam. Her body relaxes. 

A second pair of heavy footsteps make their way to the table. She stiffens again.

“It’s me, don’t worry. You’re alright” The other voice belongs to Dearica. She exhales and looks up. Cam’s eyes are fixed on the empty bottle of tequila and a heavy breath falls out of her mouth. 

“Again? Seriously, Paige?” When Paige puts her head back down into her arms, Cam’s hands rub her back. 

“Yeah. Again.” Sobs begin to wreck the blonde’s body and she shakes violently. Dearica and Cam exchange a panicked look before embracing their teammate. 

“I’m sorry, Paige. What she did is fucked up” Dearica’s voice is soft and reassuring. “We tried to talk to her but, her, um, we were interrupted.” She and Cam are walking on thin ice; one bad step and their teammate will plunge in the freezing cold water.

“Let’s get you to bed. You have a big day tomorrow, so let’s make the most out of it.” Cam and Dearica carry their teammate, whose body is shaking violently while sobbing to bed.

For the 5th night in a row, she cries herself to sleep. 

I need you.

***

“Charles, why do you want to marry me?”

“Because I love you baby, and I want to spend every second of my life with you. With us.”

“...Okay.”

“I promise I’ll never hurt you. I’ll be the one to protect you forever.” 

“Azzi Fudd. What the fuck was that?” Charles sneers. His emerald eyes are alive, burning with acrimony. She doesn’t look up from her phone screen where her fingers shakily hover over the call button under Paige’s name. 

“I’m sorry? I told you I was getting some air and I ran into Paige.” Her tone is surprisingly even and steady despite her trembling body. When a dark look falls across his face, she shudders. Suddenly, her phone is ripped from her hands and shattered against the wall with a loud smash that rings in her ears.

“Don’t fucking talk back to me. You saw what happened to your phone, and I know that you don’t want to be next.” He slams the door of their hotel room and stomps down the hall. When she doesn't hear the obnoxiously loud footsteps anymore, she allows her body to collapse and cries into her pillow while she thinks about the promises that they made on their engagement night.

I need you.