#what if he was really a puppet all along and we actually fight demise again

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

I hate these fucking statues

[popurikat]

Ruin Teresa Agnes career. Aka: the Teresa analysis. Take all the time you need >:3

Okay I’m saying this right off the bat in case someone who stans this character misses the point above, but well I hate Teresa Agnes’ character in the maze series, both movie and book. However, in my analysis I will try to explain why her character misses the mark both as a villain and as a sympathetic character. So, to analyze her in depth, I’m putting this into parts under the read below. HEADS UP! As of now this analysis will exclude Death Cure Novel review as I have not finished that one, though it will mention one major spoiler I have been informed of from that book that I need to add for the sake of her character; other than that I will be discussing the other three novels before it (yes that is including the prequel Fever code) and the three movies from the series in broad ideas as I am not about to scavenge for quotes like I did in my last long post… well at least not as many.

Part 1: Teresa the master manipulator

No matter which way you look at it, Teresa has a way to bend others to her will, whether we blame WCKD for teaching her so well; or she used it as a means of survival, the idea still stands. Though she is extremely skilled in combat, especially at using spears and knives, Teresa’s biggest skill is her silver tongue, she can lie her way out of anything. Most evident is her betrayal in Scorch when she has such a good poker face that she not only convinces group B that Thomas is the problem they have to eradicate to get WCKD’s good side, but she also doesn’t hesitate to maim Thomas to the point of threatening to kill him: “Get in the room or I’ll hit you again. I swear I’ll keep doing it till you pass out or bleed to death” (Ch. 51). /sarcasm/ Charming ain’t she? /end of sarcasm/ The thing about lying though is that sometimes it backfires, for instance in the case of Group B, Harriet and Sonya hear Thomas out on why they shouldn’t kill him like Teresa asked, and when they listen and observe him they realize that Teresa is the worst and side with him; which in turn makes Teresa have to take drastic measures which involve getting Thomas alone with her to finish her duties to WCKD. Anyways, she even goes as far as to cement her betrayal by kissing Aris and crushing Thomas’ feelings by saying they were never a thing; she does this mind you without so much as breaking this character she builds up even though later she tries to say she still cares for Thomas. She is so convincing that Thomas has stated that: “Thomas had never heard such arrogance from her. She was either a really good actress or had started going crazy. Gained a split personality or two” (Ch. 45, Scorch). So yes, Teresa is too good at lying to the point I can say she can align as a Pathological Liar because she’s deceptive, goal-oriented in order to get HER way meaning she will not tolerate anyone interfering with her methods, she disregards the feelings of everyone around her, and she is constantly tweaking her excuses to adjust to the situations at hand. She is so good at lying she oozes self confidence when elaborating her defense by staring directly at the person she is talking to, unblinking, and will lash out in defense if someone calls her out on any inconsistencies. 

Mind you this isn’t the first instance we get at how well she turns the story to her favor. In Fever Code, she is the one to help put the Gladers in the maze and erase Thomas’ memories, which transfers in Maze Runner with how she openly gaslights everyone by pretending she doesn’t remember much about WCKD’s doings even though her memories are the only ones implied to be in tact based on that email she wrote in Fever Code: “I’ve just said my goodbye to Thomas, and he’s now in the Glade, safe and sound. Tomorrow, it will be my turn. Dr. Paige has asked me to send a final note to everyone, sharing my thoughts. I’m more than happy to do so. I feel good about the plan to leave my and Aris’s memories intact. You need someone in each group with whom you can communicate and plan during the phases of the Trials”(FC epilogue) and also based on this specific tid bit in Maze Runner where she slips she knows more than she lets on: “Though I guess a Griever can’t squeeze through this window, so I’ll be happy, right?” The mention of Grievers surprised him -- he didn’t remember talking about them to her yet. ‘Teresa are you sure you’ve forgotten everything?”(Ch.37, pg.246). Griever knowledge in general for Teresa in Maze seems to be code talk for “I am here to cause trouble, I kept my memories'' because during the sequence with the fiasco with the invasion of the species in Group A’s field, Teresa casually wakes up after the event’s commotion subsides earning Newt’s suspicion that maybe the map fire was not done on accident. Anyways, in keeping things down low and having an advantage in memory recollection, she ensures Thomas and co. don’t recall events correctly unless it's vital to her mission. And yes, Teresa will use violence and anger if necessary; she is perfectly fine with murder...”So we’re just going to kill them all? [...] They’ll die anyway [...] No, Tom, It’s be tough now or everyone dies later”(Ch. 47, Fever Code). Or even this small aside on her stance on death overall: “This is kind of fun,’ Teresa whispered to Thomas. ‘Walking along with my new friend.’ He looked at her in bemused disbelief. ‘Really? You drop that bombshell about kids dying and now you act like it’s no big deal? You’re so weird.’ He tried to make a joke out of it to hide just how horrified he’s been by her second question” (Ch. 9, pg. 55, FC). And she has killed, mind you, yes they were cranks, but they are still humanly conscious. Thomas in comparison shows pity about the fact that they were still human, Teresa didn’t bat an eye. And now, you might say “Hey Popuri, you know, she’s just willing to kill if it means saving everyone else right?” to which I go, sure she’s stated that if it means saving the rest it doesn’t matter if thousands or so die. However, she is also clear that she only cares about Thomas’ survival in specific, no one else; which immediately gets falsified by her “lie” in Scorch, thus she will kill anyone if need be no matter how close they are. What I’m saying is that not even Teresa has a clear path in why she manipulates everyone when she can so easily be convinced to make elaborate murder scenarios at the snap of WCKD’s fingers. She claims it's to save her “crush” but will not hesitate to shed his blood and drag him across the desert. 

She claims it's to help WCKD, that WCKD is good, but she has bore witness time and time again that the facility makes countless errors and knows there's no REAL cure available … and Teresa is a smart kid, so why continue believing a hopeless façade? Because she's desperate to cling to some hope? No. Teresa doesn’t do the whole hope thing, she's convinced WCKD is good period, there's nothing else. So, even if there is no evidence anymore she will fight tooth and nail for something she herself is trapped in because no one will want to be there for the girl who treated her only connections as poorly as WCKD treated her. Therefore, is it because she can’t help it then? I can only imagine that's the case. She’s willingly this puppet for WCKD, she could’ve escaped them any time she liked like Thomas and co. did, but she prefers to stay on the burning train even if it means her own demise because she refuses to admit any of her actions were wrong, the truth will NOT set her free because she cannot confront it. 

Moving forward, I wanna delve more into the whole telepathy dealio she specifically shares with Thomas and we actually never really learn if she can talk to others as she evades the question when it does arrive in book. The only certain thing is that if you have a chip, you can talk using your mind. Now this would be a fine plot device, but in the hands of someone who wants to control your every move and thought, well....”Thomas, this is Teresa. He was going crazy. He was actually going crazy. It was the oldest and most common symptom -- hearing voices in your head. ‘Uh...’, he said aloud. Is this working? Is this working? The last words landed between his eyes like a thunderbolt. The pain knocked his legs out from under him and he collapsed onto the floor. Never had the world felt so fluid beneath him, as if nothing solid existed, no form, no substance“ (Ch.20 , pg. 112, FC). So first things first, Thomas hates it when he gets a mind message, he feels extreme pain when someone tries it, this is recurrent throughout the series. He has told her a few times not to contact him through that method, but it's their little secret and besides, if he told anyone who would believe him? “Teresa shrugged. ‘You didn’t tell anyone, did you? They’d think we’re crazy“(Ch.36, Maze Runner). So we have a situation where Teresa has a huge way of overpowering Thomas, she can send images to his head without his consent and yell into his mind even if it means it hurts him. And the kicker? She doesn’t teach him how to use it on purpose. And when he tries to contact her? Well depending on her mood she can either be flirty or... well this: “Teresa? A pause. Teresa? A longer pause. Teresa! He shouted it mentally, his whole body tensing with effort. Teresa! Where are you? Please answer me! Why aren’t you trying to contact me? Ter- /GET OUT OF MY HEAD!/ The words exploded inside his mind, so vivid and so strangely audible within his skull that he felt lances of pain behind his eyes and in his ears. He sat up in bed, then stood. It was her. It was definitely her. Teresa? He pressed the first two fingers of both hands against his temples. Teresa? /WHOEVER YOU ARE , GET OUT OF MY SHUCK HEAD!/ Thomas stumbled backward until he sat down once again on the bed. His eyes were closed as he concentrated. Teresa, what are you talking about? It’s me. Thomas. Where are you? /SHUT UP!/ It was her, he had no doubt, but her mental voice was full of fear and anger /JUST SHUT UP! I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE! LEAVE ME ALONE!/ But, Thomas began completely at a loss [...] /LEAVE ME ALONE, OR I’LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND CUT YOUR THROAT. I SWEAR IT. “ (Ch.8, FC). *sarcasm* ah yes, nothing says true love like a death threat that actually comes to near fruition later in that same book and pretending to not know that person only to later, upon meeting Thomas acting like a sobbing mess, kiss him and disappear...she sure knew him then huh? *end of sarcasm* Having a power imbalance in a relationship is, you know, not good, especially when you’re making it so you gaslight the person anytime they know something you don’t want them to or to have control over the situation. Teresa does this OFTEN. To the point that it makes Thomas so emotionally attached to her he finds it hard to admit he doesn’t need her, even when he’s been badly hurt. 

 Part 2: Your past does not excuse your bad actions in the present. Period.

Now let me clear something up, PAST ABUSE does not CONDONE you to HURT OTHERS in turn, let alone allows you to use it as an excuse to justify wrong actions. I am aware Teresa, aka Deedee, was abandoned due to an outbreak of the flare at an early age; had her name changed, was confined to a room with Thomas as her only friend who was the same age as her, and openly manipulated by adults to believe WCKD is good. But you know who else goes through the same treatment? LITERALLY EVERY KID EXPOSED TO THIS EXPERIMENT! AND THEY DON’T THREATEN EACH OTHER IF THEY DON’T GET THEIR WAY OR KILL EACH OTHER. And this is not said in order to justify that everyone with the same experiences will have the same reactions, I understand stressors and trauma affect everyone differently and acknowledge everyone needs a different support system. But like, for peeps sake, Thomas who is Teresa’s exact foil as a narrative play to show that they are more alike than they realize which is the flimsiest proof to grab at as to why they need each other to an extent; literally has the exact same story cut and paste from her and he has more empathy and compassion to those around him, than Teresa ever shows. WHY? If the idea is to show Teresa has hardened from her own experiences, she should in theory act more like Brenda, a renegade civilian that isn’t soft for anyone except the boy who will save her. I know in my explanation I compare Thomas and Teresa a lot, but it's hard not to when Teresa, though having Aris as another buddy who is also in on the whole WCKD scheme, still decides to CLING to Thomas to be her saving grace. And the thing is, even if she only ever trusted Thomas in this whole experiment, then why not confide in him or tell him what is happening? She doesn’t LISTEN to anything he says to her in turn. YES, Teresa knows more about the situation as a whole, YES she is capable of doing things by herself, but she never trusts anyone. You’d think she would be more open to talking to the kids her age or be the quiet type because she knows what will happen to them all if they don’t comply; but no, I can’t even describe her personality other than stoic one moment and complete chaos in the next, and she does that switch VERY often. But sure, she prefers to skew half truths and put everyone in danger because ….WCKD? She’s supposed to be the intellectual one and she doesn’t know how to spread her capabilities, no wonder Brenda is introduced in the second book.

It's also incomprehensible to me why she feels it necessary to follow WCKD in general when she was the first to know of all their evil doings? “They were at the door when Teresa stopped and asked Dr. Leavitt a question. Two, actually. And it was enough to change the man’s demeanor completely. ‘What’s a swipe trigger? And is it true that seven kids died during the implant surgeries?’ The questions stunned Thomas. He turned to look at Teresa as the doctor fumbled for an answer. ‘How...’ the man began, then stopped, realizing at the same moment what Thomas did: Teresa had stumbled on something major. Something true”(Ch. 9, pg.54, FC). You’d think she would have the maturity to one up WCKD and knock them from the inside out to save the one she “loves'' but she doesn’t, instead she abides by the facility...even when knowing they are the ones who made the Flare in the first place. Call me naïve, but wouldn’t it make sense that if she wants to help stop the Flare than it would be in her best interest to hold Ava at an inch of her life (and Ratman) until she fesses up how to reverse the Flare, only to then realize oops there never was a possibility for a cure ~, but in knowing this finally be rid of the one thing holding her back? Again, someone can argue that hey, she thinks the people who made it HAVE to eventually find the termination and either way what possible choice does she have when her own manipulators control her? But remember, in the end it's always been a huge experiment to eliminate the human populace, and that's motive enough to rebel and/or snap at the hand that feeds when it's gone too far. EVERYONE has a breaking point mentally and physically, THOMAS BREAKS DOWN SEVERAL TIMES IN THE SPAN OF THE SERIES BECAUSE HE CAN’T MAKE SENSE OF THE EXPERIMENTS AND THE REASON TO CONTINUE SURVIVING ONLY ON WCKDS TERMS. And it drives me insane that Teresa would openly keep the Gladers from knowing about their procedures when she has known the longest from everyone else! Oh? You want evidence that Teresa keeps her memories intact and lies about ever losing them, sure! Here, have a morsel: “Teresa..., he started to say, but then stumbled a void. He had no idea how to respond. Did you....did you already know this stuff? /I’ve heard rumors./ And you never told me? He was stunned. How could she have known this and never said anything? She was his best friend. The first person he went to with everything. /I just don’t see the point. Yes, we have reason to hate these people. But how is dwelling on the past going to help anybody? The solution is what matters./ Thomas had never been so blindsided in his life.../I’m really tired, Tom. Can we talk about it tomorrow?/ She was gone from his mind before he could respond [...] The next day Teresa refused to talk about it, emphasizing that she’d rather focus on the future than the past Dr. Paige also blew it off, saying that those decisions had been made well before her time. it was almost like they were both determined to forget” (Ch. 43, pg. 239, FC). TALK ABOUT BECOMING THE ONE THING THAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO OVERCOME. Like goodness sake, Teresa was part of the prep and launch of putting each Glader into the Maze and she never doubted it, never fussed over how this was bad. The excuse of “this is for their own good, my own good, and the world’s” can only go so far when you are in an environment that is full of violence and trauma, you expect me to not believe Teresa just never broke down and truly analyzed how she can use her lies to one up her own abusers? She’s supposed to be this “empowering” female character and she can’t even get THAT right. 

Part 3: How come the films did it better?

The film actually humanizes her a lot more and makes her motives at least justifiable in a fit of protecting the one you love. I know a lot of people dislike her character in the movies because it's more frail and sympathetic, but it was a very good way to justify her motives and plan out her actions from point A to point B. What do I mean by that? Let's take a look. Film Teresa enters the Maze without the ability to communicate to Thomas through telepathy, she still has her memories and she is still in close contact with WCKD, that much is still the same. Her motive though is to get everyone out of the maze and into stage 2 where the facility can round up the ones who have been viewed to be immune through the Maze Trials. So far so good, but pretty on par with the book right? Well, here is where it differs for the best. On the last act of Scorch, Teresa tells Thomas WITH SENTIMENT, no more lies and no more hiding that she contacted WCKD because it was needed to keep Thomas alive and well. WOW, notice how she doesn’t emotionally manipulate him and her innocent nature of trusting the scientists of her world to cure everyone actually leads her to be more sympathetic and relatable to the audience? In Death Cure, she doesn’t expect Thomas or ANYONE to forgive her for her actions and in fact takes her actions at face value. This Teresa is more understanding of the phrase “You can change, but those you’ve wronged have no obligation to forgive you” than book Teresa ever will. To the point that when she finds Thomas in the city and has bore witness to the startling realization that there indeed could be no cure cause her patient flares back up; of which is intentionally a little girl to reflect without showing that she can relate to the Flare stripping away her childhood, she then betrays WCKD by allowing the Gladers to infiltrate the facility, thus redeeming her when she dies in the explosion. Thus, making her in the film's eyes an anti-hero. As Skquill once told me, “Film teresa really did want to create a better future, and wanted to help people and that's what I like about film teresa. It didn't work. It literally blew up in her face. But, she tried, and she saved Thomas in the end.”

The only reason I don’t like Teresa even in the film is because she is kind of a wet blanket there, barely expresses any emotion beyond stoic token girl that cries sometimes, and she could’ve saved herself the whole betrayal arc if she just learned to better communicate her intentions instead of sobbing pathetically every time no one wants anything to do with her for her ill doings.Not to mention she still maintains her personality to a degree from the book (just call her diet Teresa really) because once both enter the sequence in Scorch where they ran out of pawns to move around they claim that they did what they had to do and they wouldn’t change a thing, they’d do it again if they could. It is only when both are at death’s door with no other choice that they give in some noble sacrifice at a chance for redemption, which is well too little too late. And in the opposing corner of knowing some people blame Thomas for not just allowing himself to be experimented on since the beginning, my rebuttal to be fair is that Teresa just again, sucked at explaining herself and the intentions of WCKD until it was deserving of a literal showdown bloodbath that evidently Tommy boy had to take defense to and threaten his life if anyone else died due to miscommunications. ALSO, IT'S HIS OWN BODY, HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS WITH IT INSTEAD OF HAVING OTHERS DICTATE WHAT HE NEEDS TO DO.

BUT ANYWAYS, book Teresa in comparison has even less characterization, I am sorry to say. SHE'S BARELY IN SCORCH AS IS, only coming out toward the climax because before that she is crying and kissing Thomas before going MIA for 45 chapters. Ouch. And when she does appear? She purposefully causes trouble that leads to essentially no where, we could’ve gotten to the safe haven way sooner without her interference.

Part 4: Is Book Teresa a good female character?

 The simple answer? No.

The slightly longer answer? Even if I were to place her as the villain of the story she’s...not that good? Mostly because again, she acts as a puppet for a rich, governmental organization that basically implants how she should think and act. YET, somehow she is still smart, brave, lethal, and *ahem* UNBELIEVABLY BEAUTIFUL WITH HER LONG HAIR THAT IS BASICALLY DESCRIBED THE EXACT SAME WAY AS BRENDA’S, WHO FYI IS THE SLIGHTLY BETTER FEMALE LEAD THAT STILL CAN’T HOLD A COIN TO SONYA OR HARRIET (the background characters) THOUGH. I also need to say plainly, she has no gradual growth, she remains by her ideals and thinks she's right constantly in all but one book...which is one book too late and thus made meaningless. By no means is Teresa a mary sue, yet she still manages to be a stereotype in Maze Runner: “If you’re going to decipher a hidden code from a complex set of different mazes, I’m pretty sure you’ll need a girl’s brain running the show”(ch.43); then again going most of the book in Scorch missing, and then unceremoniously gets crushed by a boulder in Death Cure as her final hurrah for all the bs she caused isn’t really a means to become a memorable character. This is the female supportive character I’m supposed to relate to and or praise for her dastardly, cunning intellect?  If I were looking for a strong female with various flaws and a tragic end I would saunter over to Hunger Games’ Katniss instead. Teresa fails as a character the moment that her sole purpose is to be so emotionally/physically attached to Thomas that her whole character gets washed down the gutter so badly that Kill Order had to be made to justify her actions through a tragic backstory. In no way or form was I able to entertain this character as a favorite because she is everything I don’t want to be or befriend, and even as again, a “villain” she doesn’t exactly do much as the real masterminds are Ava and her cronies who MADE the disease and the trials. Even going as far as calling her an anti-hero feels off because none of her actions deliberately affect the plot or progress of our main character’s story. But that's kind of the thing with D*shner’s characterization of females overall? They’re either brutish or simply there. I don’t think any of them even pass the Bechdel Test. 

Final thoughts:

I don’t like Teresa, I would personally fight her in a Denny’s parking lot at 3am if I could. I recall saying multiple times how she should just “shut up” as I read Maze and Scorch because most of her quotes are not memorable nor important. But in no way do I blame the character for the angst and tragedy of the novels overall. D*shner just...doesn’t seem to know how to make honest character growth and a decent plot, thus, in turn the story and its leads suffer tremendously as the narrative gets stretched out. (me yelling in the distance about how Crank Palace was made for clout). HOWEVER, In no way should my analysis stop people from finding Teresa as interesting or “cool”, I actually ENCOURAGE anyone that stans her to explain why to me because I personally don’t understand why beyond thinking “I just think she's chaotically evil and her treachery is fun to witness”. COOL IF THAT'S THE REASON OR EVEN IF YOU RE-WROTE HER TO BE BETTER! I just personally don't find her presence necessary for plot progression or as a love interest in general. It in fact sucks that she gets essentially replaced by Brenda almost as soon as the opportunity arises. In turn though, for others who don’t like her either as much as me, feel free to add onto this post any other “Teresa sucks and here's why” moments as I know there's a lot of moments out there to quote or paraphrase. Thanks for reading~

[themysteryofwriting]

Masterpost

Sanders Sides OneShots

What Happened Before Accepting Anxiety - what I think happened that caused Virgil to sink out

The Creativity Split -my interpretation of the Split.  Warning for slight U!Pat and gaslighting

Analogical Clothes Prompt - some fluffy Analogical with Logan stealing Virgil’s clothes

Moceit No Mom prompt - fluffy Moceit prompt with a bit of demiboy Patton or Patton in a skirt where Patton is oblivious til the end

Royality short Pat prompt - no further explanation needed

Can’t You See It - Analogical One Shot. Virgil wants the others to know about how loving Logan is...and that he’s a giant memelord.  Is that so bad?  Hints of background Roceit And Remus being himself

Who say you have to leave your past behind you - my first one shot with Rachel. Some stuff has changed about her since this but it has a special place in my heart.  Hinted at Past U!Pat and Remus being himself. Dee speaks in lies ofc.

This is the Worst Ending - oh boy.  okay this is what I call my angst :tm: If you are senstive to any of the following: don’t read Unsympathetic Patton, multiple major character deaths, blood, Sayori like scene, string imagery, gore, depression, brainwashing, emotional manipulation,murder, strangulation, eating disorder(kinda), stabbing, gaslighting There was a part 2 but......it didn’t last long, i wasn’t proud of it

Puppet!Ray Origins - the first part of my fnaf au! (i literally only have this part and the end so far).  Warnings for U!Pat (he’s Afton), along with child death. However some cute Logan and Ray interactions

Puppet!Ray: End of Everything: continuation of FNAF AU.  This time the Henry scene at the end of FNAF 6.  The fic I got to use the tag ‘is it still fluff if everyone dies’ on.  TW: Hinted Unsympathetic Patton because of who he replaces

And They Were Roommates - a hurt/comfort fic writen for the sanders gift exchange last year.  LAMP fic, nonbinary Dee, college AU, supportive boyfs all around

Prinxiety Prompt - takes place post DWIT, Virgil and Roman talking/flirting

Moxiety, Mobster Patton - again, nuff said.  no death, actually pretty fluffy for the prompt.  maybe a little kidnapping?

Movie Night: cute fluffy LAMP

Logan Prevents A Murder: QPP Analogical, Virgil debating murdering Roman

The Bane of Protectiveness: Ray was there when Roman....and she couldn’t stop him   TW: Suicide, Self-deprecation, self-hatred

MM3: The Murder: based of a Murder Mystery from a discord server, how Talyn’s death played out  TW: death, murder, vomiting, planned murder, drugging a drink, Unsympathetic Logan

How Ray Became Anxiety: Little clip from an au of mine where Ray becomes anxiety, along with keeping protectiveness. TW: character death, Virgil ducks out, Patton and Roman are jerks

Fighting the Dragon Witch isn’t Therapy: after POF, Roman will do anything to prove himself  TW: Temporary Major Character Death

Random Fandom One Shots

Peter Meets Angel - short one shot about my oc meeting Peter (Marvel)

Mitsue Goes Off:  Mitsue was already having a bad day, so when the LOV kidnaps her, she’s going to give them a piece of her mind (MHA)

We Have Mic - Mic gets kidnapped, Aizawa has something to say bout that (MHA)

Scar to Remember - Overhaul left a mark on Mitsue (MHA)

Demise Of A Gamer (DR) - Chp5 of SDR2 from Chiaki’s Pov

Friends Protect Each Other- Tubbo goes to visit Tommy during his exile...and finds Dream with him  TW: manipulative Dream

Original Writing

Saving The Moon - a short story I wrote for a contest a few years back

Never Trust A Newbie- short story written for a writing camp

The Hug Wizard- if you know, you know

Spiritfarer Hug Wizard: o w o

Soulmates Don’t Have to Be Romantic (finished :D )

my platonic soulmates series, starring my oc Ray

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Soulmate GC

Based off my soulmate story, a gc with the members messing w/ each other. Crack fic.

Chp 1

Chp 2

Bad Things Happen Bingo

The Collector - Logan collects people. TW: U!Logan, Kidnapping, Taxidermy on a person, blunt force trauma, character death, implied use of a date rape drug, major character death

Pressure Doesn’t Always Make A Diamond: Reminding a side for their mistakes was never a good idea.  Especially when they feel guilty about it like Patton did.  TW: Unsympathetic Deceit, Unsympathetic Logan, constant guilt-tripping, self-hatred, self-deprecation, blaming someone for something that isn’t their fault 

 He’s Not Yours: Patton’s parents....aren’t the best  TW: emotional abuse, yelling, numbness

Keeping Them Pure: Patton just wanted to make sure his kiddos wouldn’t get corrupted by those nasty dark sides  TW: Unsympathetic Patton, Kidnapping, Forced holding, chains

The Past Can Haunt You: Remus keeps getting left by those he cares about  TW: Abandonment, Self deprecation, Childhood Trauma,  the split, implied unsympathetic light sides

Snakes Don’t Like the Cold: Dee is part snake...so what happens when he gets trapped in a freezer  TW: Unsympathetic Roman, locked in a freezer, hypothermia

All It Takes Is One Mistake: It’s very easy for the Ego to crack  TW: Roman angst ,cracks, roman needing to talk to people

A Game of Paranoia: Something seems off to Rantaro as he goes through this game

You Just Need a Push to be Good: Patton couldn’t let those dark sides keep corrupting Thomas  TW: Unsympathethic Patton, using shock collars as punishment

‘I’m Fine’ And Other Lies: Introduction of Mitsue, my bnha oc.  Mitsue gets hurt in a fight and doesn’t realize how bad it is until it’s too late  TW: mention of blood, hospitals

They Never Saw It Coming: a small one shot with my own sides.  Warning, the title is a really bad pun.  TW: graphic eye injury

The Collector: What Happened Before: a sort of prequel to The Collector, Patton thinking over what happened TW: hypnotism, mind control, U!Logan

Replaceable?: takes place post POF, Logan’s reaction to what Janus did 

Those Left Behind: Ray was there when Virgil left them

You’ll See: From my given to Overhaul AU: Why Mitsue works with Overhaul  TW: Forced Starvation, Kidnapping, Parents not caring

Why Roman’s Sword Isn’t Allowed In the Common Room: All I’m gonna say is this is not as much as a crack fic as it sounds. TW: stabbing, coughing up blood, fighting

Scar To Remember: Mitsue wasn’t left okay after Overhaul got a hold of her

We Have Mic: Someone kidnaps Mic to get to Aizawa.  TW: Kidnapping

Don’t Hurt Ray Or Else: Even while with the lights, Virgil is going to protect his sister  TW: Morally Grey/Unsympathetic Patton, Outing Someone, not Accepting someone,  Transphobia?, mentions of fighting someone

Even In The Face Of Death, Logan Ignores His Feelings - a day to relax goes wrong when Remus decides to mess with Logan  TW: blood, stabbing

Trapped- Virgil gets kidnapped while out in the imagination.  It doesn’t go well. TW: kidnapping, panic attack, flashbacks, claustrophobia, implied pranking, implied fighting

Who Knew Sleep Paralysis Could Be Deadly?- Talent Swap AU with Makoto and Kyoko  TW: stabby stab, K-nife, sickness, sleep paralysis

Kokichi’s Sacrifice - Kokichi’s POV of Chp 4  TW: major character death, strangulation

A Well Needed Lesson - Byakuya has had enough of the Ultimate Lucky Student, Kyoko responds in return

Oh Look, A Yandere - Mic gets kidnapped by a yandere and has to try to escape TW: Yandere, kidnapping

Bad Things Happen Bingo Part 2: New Card, New Category

To Manipulate A Protector -Orange goes after Virgil? Or is that just a trick? TW: Kidnapping, implied fighting, manipulation, being controlled

Some Apologies Go Nowhere - after chp 4, Kokichi tries to apologize to Shuichi. Key word there is try

No One Noticed...- What if Shiro hadn’t been the only one Replaced? TW: Abandonment, heavy doubt, replaced and not noticed

Of All People Why’d it have to be Deku? - Bakugou and Midoryia switch bodies. Chaos ensues. TW:… cussing I guess?

A Broken Disc- Spoilers for the March 1st Tommyinnit Stream  TW: Major Character Death, Attempted Manipulation, Flashbacks

not again...: Nagito gets kidnapped...again  TW: kidnapping, locked in small place

Goodbye Green- Who ever said the Creativity twins were supposed to be separated?  TW: Morally Grey Patton, having to leave someone you care about

One Step Behind: Phil’s POV of what happened that fateful day  TW: Major Character Death, Stabbing, Bleeding Out, Explosions

Adrien’s Realization

Lila Bashing fic where Adrien finally realizes that ‘Hey what Lila is doing to me isn’t good’

Chp 1-  TW: Unrequited flirting, unrequited crush, Lila hate(?)

Chp 2- TW:Self doubt, bad advice

Another Path

After All Might tells Izuku he can’t be hero, Izuku decides it might be better to take another path to help people. Planned mix of actual story and chat fic

TW: slight All Might bashing

Prologue

Chp 1

Chp 2

[real-jaune-isms]

RWBY Volume 8 Chapter 10 Review/Remix

WHAT the ever loving FUCK was that just now RT?? You give us several great answers and scenes we really wanted to see, and then rip all that joy away in the last 3 minutes!!! I want to sue for emotional damages, but I really can’t be mad cuz it’s very masterful writing on their part. After years of shows doing redemption arcs we finally have it... the bastardization arc~

We open, perhaps to the disappointment of some, on Ironwood staring out the windows of his office at the battlefield and city in turmoil below. He’s being given a situation update on the destruction of the cellblock two episodes back, and he takes the news a little differently than might have been expected (read: worse). Jacques apparently stayed right where he was and let himself be put back into custody, while Qrow avoided much harm by being a bird and ending up in a spot where the rubble wasn’t landing directly on him. Robyn was only slightly lucky, she was under some large debris but doesn’t seem terribly hurt and is actually conscious when Atlas soldiers uncover her and say she’ll be moved to a new cell elsewhere. Qrow isn’t about to be put back in a cage though, and flies right at the soldier who finds him. Behind a conveniently placed piece of wall he turns back and, as I was somewhat praised for phrasing it in a discord chat, he tackled that man as a man. We can assume he knocks out the guy about to apprehend Robyn, and the two make a getaway. Ironwood doesn’t like this news one bit, though he focuses more on recapturing the two huntsmen he had arrested on paranoid treason charges than the actual war criminal he lost an arm catching whose dangerous work on the city of Mantle still hasn’t been undone. Not cool, dude. He yells at the soldiers who had come to report this, and they leave to try and find the jailbirds. He stares out the window again in contemplation and tries to calm down a little before turning on his earpiece to get an update on the status of some thing or another, probably the bomb, when something massive happens.

With a blinding flash and an array of gold and green, Oscar’s staff goes off with whatever he was charging up. It’s as bright and forceful as you’d expect a nuclear bomb to be, and it knocks Winter and the Ace Ops off their feet as they were heading towards Monstra lugging their own bomb. Weiss and Nora see it from Schnee Manor, and it seems to do a real number on the Grimm around Monstra and in the city. Rooster Teeth had to give a flashing lights warning at the start of the episode for those it would adversely affect, and I can totally understand why after the crazy display this gave us. When the light fades and the noise settles, Monstra has been snapped and is fading away to dust, and in that dust cloud we hear and barely see Neopolitan skipping away with the Lamp in hand. What a little punk... Winter gets back on her feet and is quick to ask her squad for their status, she doesn’t want to have lost anyone or suffered serious wounds from whatever the hell they just saw/felt. No one is hurt, though Elm’s ears seem to still be ringing. But Marrow is very distressed, realizing they still hadn’t heard back from Jaune and the others and they may have been killed in that blast. Nobody has anything to say that would appease him, so they stay silent. Vine tries to put a reassuring hand on Elm’s shoulder but she brushes him off. Guess after they got called out by Ren she wants to show even less emotion and sentimentality than before. Ironwood contacts them under the false assumption this was the result of their bomb, and requests they return to HQ for an update on the new problem he wants to deal with. Marrow naturally points out that the destruction wasn’t their doing, and Winter decides that will be news best delivered in person, so they load the bomb back on the airship and take off. 

Cutting into the city, we see Watts and Cinder viewing the destruction of their mobile HQ from a distance. Nobody is returning Cinder’s calls but they know Salem will be back so Watts suggests they come up with a plan in the meantime. But Cinder is fully confident that they can still do what they originally intended, that being having her kill Penny and take the Winter Maiden powers after Watts brings the synthezoid to her. But this was a plan made under false assumptions, because apparently she misunderstood the terminology in his message and thought he could puppeteer Penny to go wherever he demands when really he just laid a new prime directive to send her straight to the Vault as we saw two episodes back. Hearing this pisses Cinder off immensely, especially the part about Penny being set to self destruct as soon as the Vault is open since that means the next recipient of the powers will be randomized again and she’ll have lost her chance to yoink them. Watts is too busy grumpily musing to himself about Penny having free will and a spirit that doesn’t want to succumb to his leet hacks to notice Cinder growing more and more enraged, until he turns around and she pulls him in close to yell at him. But Watts is having none of that, he works for Salem not her, and his plans weren’t made to give this flaming whining goth what she wants every single time. He’s just supposed to get the Vault open for Salem, and this is how he’s doing that. This is not the kind of answer Cinder wanted to hear, and she stretches her arm out to shove Watts to the edge of the roof and leave him on the verge of falling over to his demise. He doesn’t seem terribly fazed, calling her bluff and saying her mission was to bring him back and Salem won’t be a bit pleased if he dies. But you know what Salem is not? Here right now to stop Cinder from dealing with this arrogant self righteous prick once and for all. So she fully intends to drop him and then tear up Atlas on a fiery path to the Vault where she can intercept Penny and steal the Winter powers before tearing her to pieces herself and being the triumphant follower getting everything done that Salem really needed. And Watts just... laughs. Chris Sabat must have had a great time in the VO booth for this one, because he gets to have an absolute roast session the likes of which he hasn’t delivered since Majin Vegeta tore that clown Kakarot a new one. Naturally Cinder’s plan would be to brute force her way to victory and get glory for none but herself with her every whim satisfied along the way. Because that’s always her plan. And it always fails. She tried to storm Fria’s hospital room like that and got her ass handed to her by some teenagers and a dying woman before Penny took the powers before she could. She did the same damn thing 2 Volumes ago when she tried to massacre all her enemies under one roof in an alliance with a woman she thought she could outwit, but ended up blindsided by a surprise Maiden reveal and almost died while her outnumbered forces were on the verge of surrendering without her. And did anyone warn her not to do that? YES! WATTS DID!!! WATTS IS ALWAYS RIGHT, YOU FOOL!!! Well, okay, he’s really not. But he’s more clever and meticulous so he saw the flaws her arrogance left her blind to. And then Watts really tears into her by saying she isn’t smart, she isn’t worthy, and she isn’t entitled to what she wants because she’s suffered in the past. The one thing she is is a goddamn migraine. I’m a little mad Tyrian stole the show’s first cuss 4 years back cuz I really would have liked for Watts to cap this off by calling Cinder a bitch. This roasting literally lights a fire under Cinder and she seems ready to snap and kill Watts here and now, but instead she pulls him back onto the roof and stares off blankly into space before her fire fades and she walks off to sit on the ledge of a different side of the building to really think about his harsh words and shed a single tear. It’s a little unclear if she’s just feeling sorry for herself and realizing she’s more of a failure than she wanted to admit, or if she’s just overwhelmed by Watts reminding her of her childhood trauma. Maybe she’s realizing how powerless she’s truly remained all this time after fighting so hard for her own freedom and independence, and crying at the fact that she seems unable to escape that role she hates so much. Whatever the case, it’s real rough for her but I don’t feel like shedding any of my own tears for her sake. She doesn’t seem like she’s gonna change her allegiances so I don’t feel much need to cheer for her, but maybe she’ll reevaluate her strategy and become a force to be reckoned with as a villain because of this. I wouldn’t mind that. We’ll have to wait and see.

Back in the ruins of Monstra, we see Yang Ren and Jaune are all doing alright, and Oscar seems to be as well. Jaune is using his Semblance to help Oscar heal up quicker so that’s good to see too. Yang answers a call and sees Blake anxiously hoping she’ll pick up. The biggest smile comes to her face when she does, and the two halves of the group are ecstatic to hear the other is still alive and well. Neither are quite ready to tell the full tale of what they’ve been up to, but Weiss pulls up a map of the city and lays out a safe route through the subway tunnels that will take OYRJ straight to the mansion so they can actually reunite. Oscar isn’t about to leave Emerald behind though, and we see her knelt in the chaos holding out her hands as if hoping to catch some of the dust that was once her father figure. Yang is vocally against the idea of bringing Emerald with them, but Oscar advocates for her being every bit against Salem as them so the enemy of their enemy should be their friend. Emerald actually doesn’t seem to want to keep hanging around them and says they should just part ways, but Jaune isn’t about to let her walk free without facing any kind of justice for her past crimes. Ren thinks they need to be able to see past their emotional hang ups and consider the value in having her as an ally, and Yang is quick to remind them all that Emerald is part of the reason she lost her arm. Technically that is true, Adam was working with Cinder and if Yang hadn’t been framed as a brutal criminal she would have been around the rest of the team when everything popped off so maybe that first fight would have gone differently. But I do feel like it’s a bit of a stretch. Yang keeps going about why she can’t just forgive and forget when Em had been such a snake in the grass back at Beacon, but that’s not what Oscar is asking of her. He just wants her to try and give the girl a second chance to be better. He gets a little cryptic about how they’ve already gotten help from someone they haven’t had the best track record trusting, and Ren perfectly guesses he means that Oz has reemerged in his mind. This takes the blondes by surprise, and Oscar stands up for the old soul by saying he took the brunt of the beatings and told him how to impede Salem like he did just there. Turns out we’ll be finding out the secret of Ozpin’s cane today: It’s been made into a magical repository for kinetic energy stored over dozens of past lives to be made into a sort of bomb to set off when needed. I don’t know quite enough about physics to describe how exactly that would work, but it seems to make sense that it does. But the blast that took out Monstra used up the majority of what was in there so he can’t rely on it for that kind of attack again. It seems likely that was what Ozpin used against Cinder in the Beacon Vault, but didn’t use very much of it, and again what Oscar used to bust a hole in the bottom of the pit Ironwood shot him into. Oscar finishes making his case that Oz really does want to aid them, and the others seem convinced. What’s worth noting is that all eyes had been on him during this, but Emerald made no attempt to run away or even lower her hands. Guess she might really want to stick around after all... The moment is interrupted by the not so distant sound of a crying baby, and they all run further down the tunnel to find a subway station where the people of Atlas are taking shelter on Ironwood’s orders. Emerald starts to feel the weight of her action and those she used to side with, especially when she sees kids scared and hungry like she was before Cinder found her. They continue past the station on their way to the manor, and Oscar offers some encouragement to Emerald that they need her help in this war considering what she’s capable of. Considering the feats she performed under stress back in Volume 5, I’m inclined to agree. 

We fade away from that scene to Ironwood’s office and the camera rises up the stairs as if being held by the Ace Ops as they and Winter come through the still broken doors to give their report to the general. He’s looking at multiple holographic screens projecting from his table: one with graphics telling him the status of all the airships mechs and soldiers, one pulling up news articles and any other info they can get on Monstra presumably for the purpose of cataloguing it in case they ever need to worry about another one, the third seems to be a map of city to monitor the damage so far, and the last is all the info they have on Cinder. He congratulates the team for their work destroying the Grimm, but Winter admits it wasn’t their bomb that did the job, they still have it intact for him. This confuses Ironwood greatly, but he sees an opportunity in this twist of fate. Penny hasn’t come to the Vault like he wanted her to be programmed to do, so he assumes Watts did a shit job of reprogramming her or just intentionally screwed them over. Yet the truth is something he can’t seem to imagine, she has free will and doesn’t want to do as she’s told. Who’s the real tool now Jimmy? He informs them that Cinder broke Watts out, and he seems to consider Qrow and Robyn escaping to be an even worse consequence. Harriet seems ready to sprint out of the room and haul them back here herself, but Ironwood stays her hand... or foot in this case. With Salem temporarily halted, now is the best time they’ve got for him to have the Winter Maiden open the Vault and use the Staff to lift Atlas higher than she can reach like he wanted so badly. So he wants Winter to bring him Yang Jaune and Ren. Winter doesn’t see the purpose of that, or she does and hates to imagine it’s truly what he intends, but either way she knows she can’t do what he’s asking. He plans to make full use of the lives they hold in their hands, and he’s going to use Jaune and the others as leverage to make Penny do what he says. He acts as if he’s actually proud of himself for realizing this is an option available to him, and I think it’s his Semblance that’s partially blinding him to the moral reasons why it should not be an option worth considering. Winter is left wilting under his unaware and proud gaze, and then Harriet pipes up to tattle on her commanding officer. Winter gave the kids a chance to try and rescue their friends from inside the whale(they don’t mention that friend was Oscar so he still doesn’t know the kid survived his attempted murder), and they weren’t seen exiting before it blew up. I want to say I’m shocked and disgusted that Harriet snitched on Winter just for the brownie points of being honest and taking Winter down a peg, but I’m really not. She’s been a loyal bootlicker since this time last Volume, and this feels like payback for that whole “I outrank you so you can’t stop me from giving them a chance” thing in chapter 7. Ironwood removes the proud and probably intended to be comforting hand he had placed on Winter’s shoulder, as if ashamed to be touching her after she let him down like this. This was his last plan for his definition of success, and now it’s ruined so he can’t do anything. In a fit of rage he smashes his table like the goddamn Hulk and the Ace Ops are left to watch and wonder just how in his right mind he actually is. As he tries to catch his breath, the general gets an urgent transmission that dozens of non-military aircraft have shown up on radar. I and probably a few dozen other people watching this hoped this was an Avengers Endgame moment of tons of allies coming to the rescue of the down and out heroes. But no, its the Schnee Dust Company ships Whitley sent out. Almost forgot about that plan, whoops. Ironwood immediately recognizes this as Weiss’ handiwork for the sake of saving Mantle, because nobody would have guessed Whitley would show some humanity and make this plan himself. Winter immediately shows attentive concern hearing her sister has done this, and Harriet gives her a look as if to say “you are such a bleeding heart for these little criminals...” Ironwood makes the very one dimensional assumption that everything Ruby and the others have been doing is simply to protect Mantle, as if they didn’t have a serious conversation with May about helping Atlas as well as Mantle 3 episodes back. With that knowledge in mind, he decides he needs to make a call. 

Speaking of phones, Cinder gets a cheeky text and an accompanying selfie from Neo revealing she has the Lamp and she knows Salem will tear Cinder to pieces if she doesn’t bring it back to her. So she’s proposing a trade; Cinder gets the name to activate the Lamp, and in return she has to bring Neo to Ruby for the revenge she so deeply craves. Watts can’t see Cinder’s screen so he wonders who among their comrades has survived. Unclear if Cinder is going to tell him.

At last, we see Ruby throw open the front doors of Schnee Manor with Weiss and Blake flanking her, to see Yang and the others on the front steps. The sisters immediately embrace and Ruby sheds a tear of relief and joy that they’re all okay. Yang tells her she missed her too, and that seems to be that for the distrust and argument they had back in chapter 1. Ruby goes to greet the guys, and Yang gives Weiss a nice hug too. Then she sees Blake has taken a few steps away from the group and seems ashamed or embarrassed, unable to even look in their direction in Yang’s direction. Yang puts a hand to her cheek, her thumb softly stroking up and down as she turns Blake’s head to meet her gays gaze. Yang blushes and smiles, Bake returns the smile, and the two softly press their foreheads together. The intense sapphic energy of this deeply intimate moment was almost overwhelming, and many couldn’t help but adore it. I know I couldn’t stop myself from being a little giggly. Ren notices Nora isn’t there to greet them, and Weiss seems like she’s going to bring him up to her room and possibly even explain what happened along the way. Ruby takes this chance to go and greet Oscar with a hug, but stops short when she sees Emerald behind him. She seems real mad and is about to go on the attack, but Oscar steps between them and insists he can vouch for her, or maybe he’s saying he can explain? We don’t quite know because they get cut off by the sound of Ruby’s Scroll ringing. May is calling from the crater to say that the SDC freighters aren’t the only thing in the air right now, and she seems very panicked by what she sees. She yells for everyone to run into the mines for shelter, and an explosion is hear before the call is cut short. Before anyone has time to try and puzzle out what they just heard, a loud alarm tone goes off on all their Scrolls. It’s a fun detail that as a Faunus Blake covers her ears cuz the loud noise is especially bad for her. An emergency CCT broadcast is coming in for everyone in the kingdom, and Ruby magnifies her Scroll’s playing of it to be projected into the air for all of them to watch. The cargo ships are shown being shot down by military ships, and then the feed cuts to Ironwood standing ominously under a single light to deliver a downright villainous speech. He claims he has been trying his best to protect the technology and future of the kingdom from those who would do it harm, but I think it is VERY telling he never mentions protecting the people. Because that’s not what matters to him anymore. Not really. He says the only person stopping him from finishing his plans of making sure the currently crippled Salem can’t hurt them anymore is Penny. So he has an ultimatum for Penny and her friends, because he knows they will be listening right now. Either she turn herself over to him so he can have her do her “duty” and save as much of the Kingdom as possible and forget about trying to save Mantle, or he will nuke Mantle as punishment for her selfishness. The more he talks the more angry Ruby and the others get, and we are right there with them. He somehow thinks that if Mantle is destroyed then Penny will be free to only care about Atlas and its protection and will gladly work with him to do so. What a delusional bastard. And if anyone tries anything other than what he has said to do, he will use the bomb. 1 hour to decide how they will respond, and a hell of a lot riding on that choice.

There can be absolutely no question now, Ironwood will be the villain for the rest of the Volume and Salem will probably return at the end to ruin whatever hope putting him down will have raised in our heroes... And I’m kinda excited for how that’s gonna play out. Let’s see how team RWBY get out of this one~

[palizinhas]

A Heart Is So Much More Than Any System - An analysis of Nobodies and Hearts in Kingdom Hearts

One of the most common topics in Kingdom Hearts is the nature of hearts, and what it means to live without one. From KH1 to DDD, the way the characters look at hearts changes, but did it really?

KH1

Kingdom Hearts is the most simple game in the series, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t explore hearts. In fact, one of the best quotes about hearts in the entire series is here.

Sora: Although my heart may be weak, it’s not alone. It’s grown with each new experience, and it’s found a home with all the friends I’ve made. I’ve become a part of their heart just as they’ve become a part of mine. And if they think of me now and then...if they don't forget me...then our hearts will be one.

Something that we learn about hearts as the series goes on, is that it can be created as you make new memories. In this, Sora claims that a heart gets stronger by having a connection to others, which is expanded upon in Days, coded and DDD, but is also clear before that. It also foreshadows (even if accidentally) how important to your heart your memories are, which is further explored in future games, like Chain of Memories.

Outside of that, KH1 also introduces us to the first KH character that is looked down on for not being “real” - a Disney character, of course, but DDD brings him back just to make the point that he’s not so different from Nobodies.

Riku: What? You’d rather fight me? Over a puppet that has no heart?

Sora: Heart or no heart, at least he still has a conscience.

Riku: Conscience?

Sora: You might not hear it, but right now it’s loud and clear. And it’s telling me you’re on the wrong side!

Pinocchio may have lost his heart, and he may be a puppet, but Sora recognizes right away that as long as he has a connection to others (namely Jiminy), it’s still wrong to hurt him.

CoM

Chain of Memories introduces Nobodies, so of course this game is very important to what we see in the series from this point forward. When it comes to heart in this game, there are three main threads - Axel, Naminé and Riku Replica. We’ll talk about all three of them.

Axel

We later learn in Days that it’s Axel’s experiences with Sora in Castle Oblivion that starts to shape who he becomes afterwards. Axel’s main point in CoM is that he’s playing pretty much everyone in the Castle, and it’s something he does under Saix’s orders, but there is one specific moment where it becomes more than that.

Axel: Hey, wait. I'm enjoying this. You guys ARE something else!

After Axel frees Naminé, he actually laughs. And not out of memories from what he used to be, but because he’s genuinely enjoying himself. While it’s not exactly a positive thing he’s enjoying, and he’s still acting out of self-interest, it’s more than he has felt in almost a decade, and it’s clear that what happens in Chain of Memories helps shape Axel into the person he becomes in KH2.

Naminé

There is one main reason Marluxia’s plan doesn’t work out, and it’s Naminé. The idea of what she’s doing is technically simple, she needs to shape Sora into their weapon, but it soon becomes clear that she both wants and doesn’t want to do that. Naminé’s reason for wanting to is simple, she’s lonely and has no one, and the idea of Sora caring more about her than anyone else is something that she longs for.

There isn’t a character that shows the importance of memories for your heart quite as much as Naminé. By changing Sora’s memories, she makes herself into the person he loves the most, breaking the chains of his memories to everyone else in the process. But the heart may forget, but the memories aren’t gone. Sora manages to remember Kairi when he tries hard enough, and Naminé’s understanding of that connection is what leads her to believing that one day her promise with Sora will be fulfilled. 

Naminé: Don't worry. You might forget about me...but with our promise, I can come back.

Sora: A promise is a promise.

Naminé: Yes. One day the light---it will be ours, and it will bring us together. Til then---I'll be in your heart.

Sora: Right. Forgotten---but not lost.

Riku Replica

Repliku is the main source in Chain of Memories of the idea that people who aren’t real can become so, before we even fully learned that Nobodies aren’t supposed to have hearts. His main conflict comes from fake memories being put into him, and shaping his forming heart into something new, quite similar to what happened to Sora. Riku Replica doesn’t know he isn’t the real Riku for a part of the story, and when he does learn that, he reacts by realizing that if nothing he remembers is real, then neither is he.

But Sora once again doesn’t accept that.

Sora: Wait! Who cares if someone created you? You are you and nobody else. You have your own heart inside you. Those feelings and memories are yours and yours alone. They're special!

Sora once again recognizes that even if someone isn’t “real”, they are still important due to their feelings and connections to others.

Riku Replica ends up trying to hard to be “more than a shadow” (which is also how Naminé sees herself in comparison to Kairi) that it results on his demise, though this isn’t the last time we see him.

Chain of Memories as a whole is one of the best characters explorations in the series, and its use of hearts and memories is a huge part of that.

KH2

Chain of Memories may have introduced Nobodies, but KH2 gives us our first official explanation of what they are - but both the base game but especially Final Mix asks us if that explanation is right.

Here’s what Yen Sid has to say:

Yen Sid: An empty vessel whose heart has been stolen away... A spirit that goes on even as its body fades from existence---for you see, Nobodies do not truly exist at all. Nobodies may seem to have feelings, but this is a ruse - they only pretend to have hearts. You must not be deceived!

Between this and what Naminé says earlier in the game - that Nobodies are only half a person - the answer behind what Nobodies are seems clear, but there’s more to it than that.

The main examples of it are Roxas, Naminé and Axel. Because the other Nobodies in the game are only villains, we don’t get to see much of them, but of those three we do see. And it’s not just our observations of the characters that matter here, because even Ansem the Wise - the biggest detractor of Nobodies - comes to admit otherwise towards the end of the game.

Ansem the Wise: A heart is so much more than any system. I saw it when Roxas and Kairi crossed paths. I knew. But I was too stubborn to accept it.

This is the core of this analysis - a heart is much more than a system. Even so-called experts in the matter of the heart don’t understand everything. Ansem the Wise was so caught up in his revenge against his former apprentices he was willing to consider all Nobodies being without hearts, but he also recognizes, during the Roxas prologue, that what allowed Roxas and Kairi to make contact was their hearts connecting.

And maybe that doesn’t make complete sense - but does it have to? A heart is more than any system, after all.

There are several comments throughout the game that hint at there being more to Nobodies than what Yen Sid told us, such as Axel saying Roxas and Sora made him feel like he had a heart, but the biggest example was added in Final Mix... and actually asked that question directly.

Axel: You know, I've been thinking about something Naminé said. Roxas... are you really sure that you don't have a heart? Is it possible that we all have one? You, me, her... Or is that just wishful thinking?

The issue with exposition in games is that we often take what we hear from trustworthy characters at face value, but people can’t always be right. And by raising a question fans had already been wondering, KH2FM tells you to understand that there is more to the story than that.

Days

As Days is the only KH game to star a Nobody, we learn much about Nobodies through this game, both through Roxas himself as well as Xion - who may not be a Nobody herself, but doesn’t Vexen call Replicas a special type of Nobody?

Days often goes to the question of whether Nobodies can feel anything, and when Roxas is reminded by Axel that he’s not actually feeling things because he can’t, that makes you wonder whether that’s not just what they think.

Roxas starts out without a heart or memories - two very important things that are established in past games as making people who they are. As such, he starts out as a “zombie”. But he doesn’t stay that way. By interacting with Axel and Xion, Roxas becomes more than that. Your connection to others shapes you, and that’s what it did to Roxas.

Memories shaping you is also a theme with Xion, but in a much more literal way. It’s taking memories from Sora that make Xion who she is, but she also grows beyond that due to her friends.

Roxas isn’t Sora, and Xion isn’t Sora, and that’s because they formed connections and memories that are unrelated to Sora. They both wanted to become their own people so hard that that’s exactly what they did.

Re:coded

Data-Sora also isn’t a Nobody, but he’s also a being that grows beyond his initial programming. Data-Sora was created to solve the message in Jiminy’s Journal, and he was given a fake Keyblade to go along with it. But after it gets broken, his connection to others becomes so strong he can make his own, despite that being seemingly impossible.

This game brings back Ansem the Wise’s line - a heart is so much more than any system. Even being part of that system doesn’t mean your heart can’t be more than that. Data-Sora becomes more than the system. His connection to others also helps him understand hurt, and accept the hurt of others into himself - with someone else’s help.

Memories and connections are more important to a person than the way they were born, after all.

DDD

DDD has the huge “revelation” that Nobodies can grow hearts, but if you’ve come this far into the series, is it really a surprise?

DDD brings up the question of what makes people real several times, and when it comes to the question of Nobodies, there are three most important ones.

The first is when Sora meets up with Xemnas inside Pinocchio’s world, and this exhange happens:

Xemnas: My my, a hollow puppet that's managed to grow a heart. Just imagine that.

Sora: Pinocchio isn't anything like you Nobodies. But if Pinocchio could be given one--shouldn't you be able to have a heart inside you, too?

Pinocchio has been around since KH1. His existence already established this all the way back in the first game. Days was originally going to feature him to drive home his connection to Nobodies, even.

And of course, there is the reveal itself.

Sora: You know, right, because you all have hearts! Axel and Roxas and Naminé, and that other girl. I felt what Roxas felt and...they laughed together, got mad, and they grieved. You have to have a heart to cry.

Xigbar: It's about time you noticed.

??????: Indeed.

(Xemnas appears behind them)

Xemnas: A heart is never lost for good. There may have been variances in our dispositions, but a number of us unquestionably showed signs of a burgeoning replacement. Once born, the heart can also be nurtured. Our experiments creating Heartless were attempts to control the mind, and convince it to renounce its sense of self. But understand, one can banish the heart from the body, but the body will try to replace it the first chance it gets, for as many times as it takes. And so I knew, even after we were divided into Heartless and Nobodies, it was just a temporary separation.

Sora had already reached the conclusion that Roxas deserved to be his own person by this point, so it should come as no surprise that just like he questioned whether Roxas being trapped within him was right, he also questions something he fully believed in KH2 - whether Nobodies can have hearts.

In addition to Xemnas’s explanation, we also get Ansem the Wise’s.

Ansem the Wise: Yes. A clue, I hope, to finding yourselves or your lost friends in your hour of need. The heart has always been quick to grow. Each exposure to light, to the natural world, to other people, shapes this most malleable part inside of us. Nobodies are not different from us in that manner. Sora was the only one able to return to his human form without destroying his Nobody. That is a statement to the love in his heart for other people, and the bonds that tie them together. Perhaps...he has the power to bring back the hearts and existences of those connected to him-- to recreate people we thought were lost to us forever. Our most precious treasures--even an empty puppet--the trees of the forest, and the petals on the wind--there are hearts around us everywhere we look. And it does not take superhuman powers to see them. Surely we remember as children the way our hearts made everything seem so shiny, and perfect. Sora has a heart like that--uncorrupted, willing to see the good before the bad. When he sees the heart in something, it then becomes real. When a connection seems broken, he may have the power to mend it. He has touched countless hearts, he has accepted them, and he has saved them. And some of those hearts have never left him--whether they fell into darkness or were trapped there-whether they sleep in the darkness of Sora's heart, or were welcomed into its warmth--they can be saved. All Sora needs to do is be himself and follow wherever it is that his heart takes him. It is the best and the only way. The rest is in there.

This moment is Ansem the Wise recognizing that there is more to a heart than what it starts out as, and the main point for it is the connection people form with one another.

In general, the way KH treats hearts is that what matters isn’t who you are in the beginning - it’s only through new experiences, through meeting others and making memories with them that you become who you are, who you can be. And all of these things were clear within the first two games.

[octavoh]

heard you had an Octavo AU and I'm curious: Is he a puppet of Vaati ? Who hurt this poor boy™ and what is this AU about?

OHHH???? YOU’RE APPROACHING ME??????????

I AM VERY GLAD YOU ASKED BECAUSE BOY DO I HAVE A LOT OF CONTENT… 

So the premise of the AU is that Vaati shares a body with Octavo due to some kind of curse. There’s a lot more below, including art for the AU. Please talk to me about it anytime!

I’m copy/pasting this from a doc. My notes are kind of incoherent, as I haven’t solidified the storyline too much (and most of them are just from me rambling on discord). 

Context for the AU:

Vaati dies at the hands of the Hero in the Minish Cap. When he’s defeated, he casts a curse that binds his soul to a vessel. I don’t know what the parameters for the curse are, but it binds Vaati’s soul to Octavo’s.

Octavo knows that Vaati’s sharing a body with him, and Vaati can appear as an apparition to him. And since Octavo is born a few years after the events of MC he knows who Vaati is. That makes Octavo isolate himself, so at the point where shit goes down he lives as a hermit in the middle of the Minish Woods. He is, however, also a traveling musician who hoards instruments in his house.

16 years after Octavo’s birth, Ganondorf invades and takes over Hyrule. Both the king and queen -MC Zelda and Link- die at his hands. (They were barely adults at this point :(  ) However, their daughter, Zelda, escapes with Impa. 

And the plot:

The actual plot takes place 6 years after the fall of Hyrule. It’s anarchy, monsters abroad, Gan seeking the princess, etc. Zelda, now disguised as Sheik, takes refuge in Octavo’s house while being hunted by monsters. I made comic thumbnails about it. Click on the link to see ‘em

So Tavo opens up the door and hes like “bruh wtf” at all the monsters… and gets his ass beat. When Tavo’s knocked out, Vaati takes the chance to blast the monsters away (but doing so takes up most of the power he’s accumulated over Tavo’s lifetime, RIP).

Sheik sees this all happen. They know that Tavo’s gonna have a target on his back due to both his appearance (Since his color palette is kinda sheikah-like. I don’t know. It’s the pale hair) and, he just obliterated like half a platoon of monsters. 

In the meantime, Ganondorf senses Vaati’s magic outburst. He takes it as a sign of the princess’s return, and mobilizes his forces.

Sheik and Tavo end up travelling together. This is a rash decision on Sheik’s part; they know that they could’ve left him behind without endangering him. However, Tavo’s also the only person they’ve really interacted with in three years and both of them are starved for human contact, so they end up clinging to each other.

For a while, they just travel without purpose, helping whatever people they meet on the way. (At this point they also hear about the Link of this AU. I’m still not sure where I’ll implement him and how, though, so I won’t elaborate rn.)

Then they meet [NAME PENDING]. He’s a suspicious old man that Tavo and Sheik just. Keep. Meeting. Eventually, the man confronts the duo. He’s the guide of the story, and tells Sheik about their mission and how they can defeat Ganon. He tells them to find Link.

Congratulations! [NAME PENDING] joined your party! 

… Kind of. He disappears for days at a time. (Eventually, days become weeks. Weeks become months. Months become never again.)

And another major event that happens early on: while Tavo and Sheik are off adventuring, Tavo fucking dies. It’s probably not even a heroic death he just trips on a moblin or something.This activates an aspect of Vaati’s curse. 

So Vaati and Tavo make a pact (a la Ava’s Demon) before their souls really die. I’m still figuring out what exactly they promise each other. 

This is what the pact does, though: 

- Vaati takes somewhat of a “backseat”. However, if it’s necessary, he can take over Tavo’s body for a while. (Doing so puts immense strain on Vaati and he can’t do anything for a while).

- It lets Tavo and Vaati communicate via dreams. 

- Vaati also surrenders his magic power to Tavo (until the pact is … accomplished? Its conditions are met?) but Tavo, being a dumbass… doesn’t find this out till later. 

- It changes Tavo’s appearance… dyes the dude purple. 

- Vaati’s powers magically amplify Octavo’s music, letting him summon monsters and manipulate the elements (to an extent) with it. I might give him the wind waker because it’s the perfect weapon for Tavo (Is baton, has wind powers).

The rest goes something like this:

- Old man disappears altogether. 

- The party finds Link. (Link is a soldier who was chosen by the Triforce of Courage after his predecessor, MC Link, died in battle. He leads somewhat of a one-man rebellion against Ganon.)

- Link also remembers all his past lives (Granted, there aren’t many of them at this point in the timeline.) This includes MC Link. 

- Link is immediately hostile towards Octavo. Their animosity is probably going to be a major arc in the story. (…I’m probably not going to write it. F)

- Sheik and Tavo fight Link at some point when Link attacks Tavo. Eventually they get along and travel together lol

Also I think that the stuff that happens when the party gets to Hyrule Castle deserves its own section so it’s here. My notes also get a lot more incoherent from this point on, so beware

- As Tavo, Sheik, and Link gradually approach Hyrule Castle, they notice something different. The (Hylian + some Gerudo) citizens are happy and healthy. The castle is not in ruins. There are no monsters. It’s eerily idyllic.

- The castle is surrounded by an aura of malice, but everything else is peaceful.

- When they enter the Castle, the staff seem mostly be Gerudo. They welcome the party warmly. (The party is literally just waiting for the sneak attack, but it never comes).

- I don’t know what these are but they’re probably quotes/explanations from people in the castle

- “Six years ago, our king, Ganondorf Dragmire, came to Hyrule. Contrary to what you think, we did come in peace; we were to strike a trade agreement benefitting both our nations. During the last few days of negotiation, Ganondorf fell to a bout of madness- some sort of possession. Nobody had seen anything like it before.”

- “He came back to his senses to discover the blood of a thousand Hylians on his hands.”- [bitterly] “He still disappears to who-knows-where, only communicating with us by notes. We are doing the best we can to make amends for his own actions.”

- [From… Nabooru?] “I grew up with him as a child. He is hiding himself because he thinks- no, he knows- he will hurt others.“ 

And stuff from/about Ganondorf:

- Gan does his best to keep the will of Demise at bay.

- The Thing Happened when he touched some evil artifact in the Hyrule Castle vaults, which enabled Demise to use him and wreck shit up

- Gan has been researching the triforce to better understand what happened to him and learns about the Link/Zelda/Gan cycle thing.

- So the party meets Gan. Link’s in FIGHT mode from the start- Sheik and Tavo recognize Gan’s voice. Oh, wait. That old man…. Huh……..

- They fight and you can see that Gan’s holding back. But before Link can deal the finishing blow Gan goes apeshit because he can’t hold back Demise’s spirit anymore

- Cue epic boss fight but it’s sad because oh man that’s the old dude

- I know i mentioned [NAME PENDING] for like 2 lines but he’s an integral part of the story and becomes a little bit like a father figure to Sheik (and a lesser extent, Tavo). So they’re fighting a close friend. it’s not fun.

- By the end of the battle everyone’s exhausted, triforce pops out and forms that wish-granting triangle thing

- Guess who boops it. Surprise mothafucka, it’s Vaati (having taken over Tavo’s body.)

- He does the evil speech thing and taps the triangle with malicious intent. But there’s been a Vaati redemption arc throughout the story where he learns to empathize with people and become a decent dude. And though his wish sounds evil, but the interpretation is surprisingly neutral/good because his heart’s not really in it, so to speak. i havent even decided to use that particular event or not, though.

I’ve got a doc (It’s kinda inconsistent with what’s here. I need to update it)

And refs! 

Tavo:

Sheik/Zelda:

Link:

Headshots of Octavo, Sheik, and Link respectively:

Yeah! Thanks for reading through all this; I’m really glad you asked!!

[imhereformysciencefriends]

Day 7: New Life

@gamzeeweek

They set the mug down delicately upon the doily, and leaned back while crossing their legs.

“Again,” they ordered calmly.

“Again, honored one? What do you mean?”

“I mean start it all over. There were some salvageable moments, some decent parts, but honestly? Just scrap the whole thing. Do it all over, from the top.”

“From the—the beginning, honored one? All the way?”

“All the way.”

“But, honored one, that—”

“I know what I’m doing,” they said calmly, taking another sip of their tea. “Now. One more time, with feeling.”

—

You are a wriggler, and you are so, so, so full of love. This screechy ass troll as is ten times your size is your favorite person, ever, in the whole world, and you are going to Climb On Him. He is your best friend, the best ever, you love him so much—

And then it is time for you to go through the portal onto the meteor which crash lands down onto Alternia, and while you don’t know it because you are just a wriggler, the meteor is made of hyper-cushioning materials that prevented you from what would surely otherwise be a disastrous demise. You are at the fringes of the brooding caverns, far from the mouth where wrigglers as went through The Trials emerge to find loving custodians. You are found by a seagoat, who didn’t really want a wriggler, but had to go near-ish the caverns anyway, because of biology. You, of course, do not know this. You just know that this is your lusus, and you love him more than anything else in the entirety of everything ever.

“No, no, that’s no good. Move the meteor so it lands there.”

“Honored one, the adult jadebloods…”

“I know, but we need to take a calculated risk here. Have the meteor land there.”

You go through the portal onto the meteor which crash lands down onto Alternia, and while you don’t know it because you are just a wriggler, the meteor is made of hyper-cushioning materials that prevented you from what would surely otherwise be a disastrous demise. You are just outside the mouth of the brooding caverns, the impact of your landing shaking the caves below. But you do not care, because you are a wriggler. You squeal happily when a tidegoat mouths at the tuft of hair growing between your horns. You chirr happily up at him, and crawl onto his back. You are happy, because you know that this is your lusus, and you love him more than anything else in the entirety of everything ever.

What you do not know, because you are still very new you see, is that a tidegoat is similar to a seagoat in the same way that rabbits are similar to hares. While, outwardly, they look very much alike, with only a difference in size, a seagoat, like a hare, is actually far more terrifying and emotionally unavailable than its smaller counterpart. They are also genetically incompatible. Who knew? Not you. You’re just a little baby.

Tidegoatdad takes very good care of you, showing you how to wade in the tidepools and how to hold a sea urchin without hurting yourself or it, showing you the good places to look for shells and making sure you’re always inside by sunrise. He feeds you seaweed and fish and occasional squirrel, and makes you do your schoolfeeds while he sleeps curled up round your back like Alternia’s most comfortable couch. Sometimes he’ll let you bodypaint on that pretty white fur and flubber of his, even though it always washes off when you two go play in the brine and waves later.

You make a friend with this neat sea-sis, a bright eyed, sharp toothed sister as can’t go much farther than your shore. Her lusus don’t like it none when she strays too far, and you understand. Tidegoatdad can breathe down your neck a little too. But that’s okay, because he’s your lusus, and you know he only does it because he loves you so very motherfucking much. You and fishsis all up and get your friendship on, and she drags her moirail out to meet you too.

That brother is a motherfucking piece of work. Even with the two of you at him, he is still so reluctant to make strides towards being a nicer person. You can’t even imagine what he’d turn out without the both of you, there to keep him in check and in friendship. You do not know that you ain’t supposed to like them. That clowns and fish don’t get along. You are a clown and they are your friends, and you keep ‘em close to your pusher always.

You meet a sweet boy online as does steal your heart, and then break it also. You keep friendship, though, after. His friendship means more to you than his heart ever could, and the two of you spit fire and rhythm as is good and right. You meet a harsh boy as does rankle his hackles at every motherfucking thing, and although you ain’t subtle for shit, he don’t ever seem to notice how you drip diamonds whenever you speak to him.

You’re awful excited to meet them in person. A wicked smart brother and sister of yours are making this game that is supposed to let you meet them and you are all kinds of holy motherfucking gleeful.

—

“See, isn’t this better?”

“It is, honored one. It really, really is. But, I worry, honored one; the plot…”

“Will sort itself out. Keep watching.”

—

The game is more fun than you thought it’d be. It’s definitely upsetting when your lusus dies, that one you didn’t stop crying on until Karkat did come to the Land of Tents and Mirth and talk you down from it. But other than that, it’s fun. You’re on a different team from Feferi and Eridan, except it turns out not really, you were all teammates all along! You think that is a very nice prank for the universe to pull on you. You are on a team with Karkat and Tavros, right from the start, and that is very fun and excellent.

You guess it’s also kind of a bummer that the world ended. But, eh, nothing’s permanent.

Now you’re chilling on this wicked ass motherfucking meteor with all your good friends (and some friends as aren’t too good, just yet, but you look forward to being better friends (and that one chica as scares you something terrible)). A pink-skinned motherfucker as your sniffsis has been up and motherfucking obsessed with lately sends you a link to some motherfuckin’ music video, and as near as you can tell, he’s making mockery of your religion?

You ain’t got super close ties to the mirthful churchful. Especially now, since the world ended. Still, it makes you kinda pissed off that this brother would send you something with sole intention of upsetting you. It worked; you are upset. So you take a walk to clear your head, even though your best bro did tell everyone to stay where he could keep eyes on them. He’s busy trolling… someone, though, and it ain’t like you’re going to get into trouble.

You meander, opening chests here or there as you pass. One has this fugly ass puppet in it. Maybe if you were actually upset, instead of just a lil pissy, you would take this motherfucking comfort item and hold it, and look in its eyes because you want the plush, cottony comfort of something vaguely trolloid, but you aren’t, so you don’t. You just chuck it in your sylladex and forget about it on a colorful capcha card you ain’t ever going to open again. Staring at the pretty colors does calm you down some. You’re thinking clear, again, and meander with a lil kick in your step.

—

“See, honored one? He’s deviating from the plot.”

“Yes,” they said, delightedly pulling a rice cracker from the sleeve. “And thus, creating a new one.”

—

You lose the kick in your step when you encounter upon a collection of cliffs in the meteor. Where you are stands tall above some other pathway, where your sweet motherfuckin’ Tavbro and that bitch as scares you so badly are. She’s mocking him with his severed legs. The legs she did paralyze in the first place. They’re going to fight.

You—

“Give him a little nudge. Just a little one. Gamzee tends to lock up in high adrenaline situations, I don’t want him to be inactive for this.”

“Yes, honored one.”

—move. Your body going seeming without your brain’s consent, at first, but once the first step is made forward, the rest follow natural as blood flowing in your veins.

You drop down from the height, one club grasped in two fronds, and you

take

her

head

clear

off.

She would’ve killed him. She’d had his lance in her hand poised and aimed at his chest. Half a second, less, and she would’ve pierced the bloodpump as you hold as precious and dear as you do. She would’ve killed him.

It don’t make what you did any better.

The tears come immediate, panic following.

You killed her.

You killed her.

You took your club and laid it in the head of a sister whose name you knew! You killed her!

You grasp and tear at your hair, shrieking, wailing. You didn’t mean to, you—god, oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god!

The guilt wells up alongside the panic and you are blind to all else, seeing only blue, blue, blue, and your own bile. You killed her! How could you do that! Her blood is on your hands, on your club, in your hair, soaking into the knees of your pants where you kneel and keen high and distressed through your gurgling tears. You do not know where you are going when Tavros lifts you to your feet with his strong and gentle hands, you do not know where he leads you. Your pan is full of only guilty panic, and the color blue. You follow where he leads.

He leads you to Karkat, back in the common room, who you rush to in the need of a diamond returned. You are sobbing and aching and panicked and vulnerable, and you need him, you need him, you need him to be gentle with you, to gentle you down, you have never needed him more in your life.

It will strike you, later, that that is exactly the kind of romantic bullshit that Karkat motherfucking thrives on.

Eridan, Sollux, and Feferi stop whatever conversation it is that they are having to stare in painful awkwardness at you, which you do not make no notice of, and Kanaya ushers them all to the warp pad out the common room, which you also don’t notice but thank her later for doing. Karkat sits you down in the chair he’d been ignoring for favor of standing to rant on his keyboard, and sits backwards in a chair of his own, right in front of you. He’s got his palms on your cheeks and a crooning shoosh on his lips and he’s got you, he’s got you, you’re going to be okay. He shushes you down and gets the story out of you in sobbing parts. How you hadn’t wanted to. How you’d just acted, angry and protective and somehow all rolled up numb, and how you hadn’t been thinking at all until after the deed itself. He asks if it’s kind of like what you did with the Black King, and you guess, kind of. You hadn’t wanted to kill anybody. Hell, you don’t never want to hurt anybody, much less kill. Karkat knows. He knows, and tells you that this ain’t your fault. Vriska was the one trying to kill Tavros, you were just acting in kind. It’s okay.

Terezi interrupts you, one point. On the trail of something or other, she has that look about her when she’s playing investigator-detective and is on the hunt. Don’t say nothing, though, just takes a picture of you and Karkat, hands on teary cheeks, and leaves with a bright cackle.

You stay with Karkat some while after, and when you ask for a hug he gives you one.

Then your phones buzz and Feferi wants you all to come up to the roof. Some sort of excitement is happening with the horrorterrors out in that far off ring, and there’s something to do with the humans?

Nepeta congratulates you immediately on your new diamond when you get there, looking all atwitter. You think it is real motherfuckin’ miraculous of your sister to know all these things about you without your even telling her, like woah. It just happened. Karkat tells you that the two of you are still holding hands, and then Nepeta tells you that Terezi sent her a photo. You are happy to realize that you are, in motherfucking fact, still holding hands with your best beloved, even as he starts screeching at your sisters who do make to laugh at him, while Equius stares on all uncomfortable and sweaty. He offers his congratulations too, stiff and awkward as that brother is always getting to be, and you smile at him a gratitude for his thoughts.

Tavros is near the lip of the roof, staring out into the vastness and the darkness. You want to go to him, but want to let go of Karkat’s hand less, so you stay put.

When the green sun shows up, and three siblings with it, you are well and truly motherfucking dazzled.

Tavros is there to greet Aradia when she returns to life, and you can taste their joy at their reunion. Dave and Rose, them human fuckers, are here too now, which, sick. You have no idea how that happened, but shit if you ain’t excited about it. More friends.

You lose track of happenings real motherfuckin’ quick after that. A green portal opens and a bucket flies through and hits Karkat straight in the horn, and then a whole bunch of people do a whole bunch of things to make the portal bigger and also faster(??), and then there’s a giant ass golden ship flying alongside the meteor as is moving very quickly, and two more human motherfuckers as can come be friends, plus their human Lands of whatevers and whatevers, so you will be able to play around in them and get grist and fraymotifs and shit so long as Jadesis is up and willing to shrinkify you, and you are very unaware of so many things as happened to make this your reality but you are well and truly happy for it.

Seems to you that everything is going to work out just fine.

—

“This… is really good…”

“Yes,” they said proudly, “yes it is.”

“But, honored one, I’m still confused. With Gamzee, you know, happy, how will the circle complete?”

“That circle was stupid anyway,” they said with a wave of their hand. “We’ll simply close another circle instead.”

“Yes, honored one, but how?”

They shrugged. “We shall have to see, won’t we?”

—

The three human years on the meteor go by in a rush of memories that are both happy and not. Life be like that. You are good friends with all gathered there, by the end of it. Dating five boys in a set of full quadrants and chilling with Feferi as you always used to do, on the beach. Aradia, who Sollux and Tavros and Terezi did convince to stay, likes to braid your hair and take you on adventures through the Lands, John is a hilarious motherfucker and Jade is a sweetheart. You improve on fighting by battling imps, learn new fun things to cook, play board games and FLARP without the fatal part and make piles of horns and pillows and empty soda bottles wherever you do please to.

You also, though, get a visit from a different you. An older you. A you with scars you don’t recognize, and Aradia’s music boxes in his hands.

He tells you that there is a task you must do. And you can do it now, or you can do it later, but you gotta do it. You’ll come back right to this time, when you’re done, Aradia’s music boxes won’t fail you, and then you’ll give them back to him and he’ll go back when he’s from.

So you take them, and do as he tells you he did.

You go to an egg all spiral-colored, watch it hatch and cradle the snake as slithers out.

Cherubs grow fast, you learn. Way, way faster than trolls and humans. It ain’t gradual. It’s sorta… all at once, and then nothing for a while, and then spurt! All at once again. You only get to cradle a baby for a few perigees, most. The child is a little longer, but you’re not there for even a full two sweeps before they surge up into adolescence, which will apparently last many sweeps after this.

You set up the two computers while Callie is awake, and ensure she is and always will be in contact with her friends, the neon colored motherfuckers as you haven’t met yet. You also get her contact with your future self, so she won’t be so lonely and fatherless as you would hate to leave her. But you’re not even an adult yourself, and you wonder at why the universe makes you do this while you are so young.

Caliborn claws you up when you tell him it’s time for you to leave, and you do not give him your future self’s contact. If your future self wants to talk to him, he can come here and update Caliborn’s computer his own motherfucking self.

You do love him, though. Bratty as he may be.

Just… you’ll love him more in memory.

You leave, just out of their reach, the keys that your older self gave to you when he handed you the music boxes. You dunno what they’re for, but whichever one of them leaves this place will have something to do with them, you think?

You hug Callie one last time, and head out.

Back on the meteor, you are so, so, so happy to see your friends again. To them, you weren’t even gone a whole hour, but you have not seen them in some sweeps and you have missed them terribly. But this is your role, you guess, like seeing dead bodies is Dave’s, or wrecking reality is Rose’s, or being really cool is Terezi’s.

You don’t let Karkat go for a motherfucking week, purrbox up and running the whole while.

When you do arrive in the new session, everything goes sideways so fast you’d be real motherfuckin impressed if you weren’t one of the things going sideways. Still, between the… how many of you are there? 18? 19? Somewhere ‘round 20 of you, you get it figured out. You don’t wanna really fight any bosses, so you get to chill with the Mayor, who you are all in pretty collective agreement is the best, and Callie! Who’s here! And wearing a ring she got from Roxy, who is a very nice girl who you approve of very much! You hug Callie very tightly and she tells you how much she’s missed you. You’ve missed her too, for all it hasn’t even been a perigee on your end, and the three of you sit and chat (mostly, Callie tells you about her life since you’ve left, and you listen). You’re there when the Mayor’s girlfriend arrives, and she is a very scary lady who you respect a lot.

A lot of things happen all at once, shortly thereafter. All the bosses are defeated, and a lot of people are fraymotifing, and then Feferi and Terezi bring Vriska back to life, and Terezi punches her straight in the face and shouts some seriously pitch black inches at her, and Vriska… changed, when she died. She apologizes and everything, swears to be better, for Terezi, for everyone, and you do not know what is going on there, but hey, if killing her was what it took for her to be a good person, then, you guess you’re almost glad you did…?

That one guilt had been the single worst part of all these last three years, for you. Something as haunted you eternal, no matter how much you jammed with Karkat about it, no matter how all your friends forgave you of it. But to see that in the end, it was for the best, well. You are finally able to let that go.

There are many people on the lily pad. You are one. And you, collectively, have won.

You go through the door, and you obtain your happy ending.

—

“....”

“Dear, are you crying?” they asked gently.

“Yes, honored one. I, I’m just, so happy. He deserves this. They all do.”

“They do,” they agreed, smiling warmly. “Now, how about a soft epilogue?”

—

You’ve been god of this new universe for two sweeps, or four years. Aradia does a lot of time shenanigans, while Dave don’t touch time shit no more. Kanaya likes to meddle and fuss with the past, with the Mayor’s help, and a democratic, socialist society rises up with their efforts and everyone all lives together in joy and happiness. Sometimes people try to sorta… fence themselves off by species, but that is a very dumb and silly thing to try and do, and it never actually keeps at that way for longer than a year or sweep.

You are happily retired from all fighting and magic Rage bullshit, and spend your days happily with your quads and daughter, who is now the same age as you, pretty much. Callie hands you the keys you left her brother and her, at one point, and you borrow Aradia’s boxes and head back to your younger self, since you gotta complete that circle, and a bunch of other circles that you had no idea you actually played a part in. Apparently you’re a pretty involved dude, for all you feel you don’t do a terrible lot. Lots of moving pieces out of your awareness. But that’s fine, that you’re just a domino in a line, you’re happy to be, because what you do sparks a deep joy in you, and you can’t imagine your life going any different from how it’s going now. When you return to your time and retirement, you’re happy to see past!Callie as a contact, and strike up correspondence with your daughter who isn’t the same age as you.

Rose starts up talk with John on going back in time and fighting Lord English when he is young—

“Mm, yes, this is exactly the sort of nonsense that simply will not fly. John doesn’t have retcon powers since there was nothing to retcon, which means the house juju has been successfully removed from the narrative. We cannot be having this.”

‘Yes, honored one. Oh, how about this?”

—and a little protective curl of Rage flickers up in the part of your soul that is magic. You tell them that Lord English might be a bitch and a bastard, but the little one is still only just Caliborn. And Caliborn, for all the scars he gave you and the headaches as didn’t fade for hours after he went to sleep, is still your child, even as you know he is your child that grows up cruel and perverse and pure, straight up, motherfucking evil. They leave him be.

“Oh perfect, well done!”

After that, there is… nothing. No more Game nonsense, no imps or demons or gods. Just you, and the family as isn’t yours by any blood or relation, but is your motherfucking family, by choice and emotion and deep, unwavering love.

You are an adult, and you are so, so, so full of love.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Kankuro

"Honestly, what a drag...I'm stuck around in an endless circle of boring missions...What is the Hokage even thinking? I'm an ANBU not some Genin who has to rescue cats and take out weeds. I mean, I have my own self-missions! ...And that other stupid cat hasn't replied in a week...Don't tell me Gaara gave him a mission? Come on, Neko-chan, don't scare me for no reason...Ah! Nevermind, I'm close to the Country of Wind anyways, better pay my friends a little visit~!" The red-head smirk widely under her fox mask, changing the direction of her running completely, now super excited to surprise her dear friends she hasn't seen in a long time. Much to her shock, however, she wasn't welcomed by either of the Sand Siblings at all, but in fact, one of the officials told her that Temari was on ambassador-business in Konohagakure, while the Kazekage got kidnapped, and Kankuro got injured trying to rescue him, and is in grave danger. Having already taken off her mask, her jaw hung open as she didn't let him finish his sentence, already being on her way to the Hospital. There, in one of the beds, was a single patient, writhing in pain, eyes closed, groaning in agony as if he was having a nightmare.

It was Kankuro.

But not Neko-chan, the Puppet Master that she used to tease endlessly and play around with.

This wasn't him.

This was Kankuro, a normal person with an injury that could end his life in the blink of an eye.

A person who was struggling to keep on going, to save his little brother from an inevitable demise.

The sight in front of her made her realise that, despite being in the ANBU, the Konoha teaching and the Will of Fire stuck to her tighter than she'd have ever wanted to admit.

For the first time in ages, she could feel something.

A sharp pain in her chest, as if her heart was being stomped on and crushed in front of her very eyes

A shinobi shouldn't have emotions, or it would destroy the completion rate of the mission.

"Guess I should just quit, then?"

 those thoughts rung in her head.

Trying to calm down, she softly made her way towards him and sit on his bed, pushing away the hair from his face and wiping the thin layer of sweat forming, as she held his hand gingerly, kissing it.

"Damn it, Neko-chan...If only I knew this happened...I should have realised much sooner...I'm...I'm sorry...Please don't die...Gaara needs you...And Temari too...And all Suna, of course...And well...I guess I need you too...Tsk, who was the imbecile who dared mess with you?! Once I find out, I'm going to...Goodness, what am I not going to do to him! I will avenge you, that's certain...But...Is there anything I can do to help, I wonder..?"

 Kitsune mumbled aimlessly under her breath, the words addressed more towards her than anything else, as she could barely look at the brown haired boy in front of her, instead settling for searching for a medical nin so she could understand the situation better and see if she could possibly give any help.

Kankuro knew that it was a bad idea. He knew that he shouldn't go after Gaara because the individuals who had abducted him were dangerous and if Gaara couldn't defeat his abductor, then he knew that he had no chance going up against the guy, let alone two of them. And yet he'd still gone because Gaara was his brother and he loved him. Kankuro had become extremely protective of his younger brother after that, so to see Gaara be taken away and not do anything about it was out of the question even if he knew that it was a lost cause and that he was probably going to end up dead.  Maybe he didn't end up dead but his current condition really wasn't all that better. He hadn't thought that being poisoned could hurt quite so much. But that was probably the point; to leave the inflicted victim in as much pain as possible before they eventually died. What had he been told? Four days? Two? Kankuro was having a really hard time remembering how much longer he had to live when he couldn't even figure out how to breathe properly. Each breath felt painful and his entire body was searing with pain. All he'd been able to understand was that the doctor's had no idea how to help him. But he wasn't afraid because the only worry that he had was focused on Gaara. He wanted to know that his brother was alright and that he was going to come back home. If he was told news like that, then he could die happy.  He would fall asleep from time to time. Restless sleep that was plagued by nightmares. And when he'd open his eyes, his vision would be so blurry that he'd just close them all over again and try to make sense of the voices around him. One voice surprised him because he hadn't heard it in awhile. He couldn't understand most of the words but Kankuro was interested enough in the voice that he had to force his eyes open to see who it was. He was in too much pain to get his brain to connect the voice to a person unless he actually looked. "Oh. It's you...you've picked a bad time to be a tourist.." Just getting those words out caused the pain in his chest to increase and so Kankuro stopped talking after that and squeezed his eyes shut against the pain.  But he didn't have to talk anymore because a frantic doctor stepped up to Kitsune to explain the situation. "Kankuro-san has been poisoned and we aren't able to do anything for him. We can't even give him something to numb the pain because it might react badly with the poison and cause it to spread faster. We had Lady Chiyo, our best healer, look him over but she wasn't able to do anything either. Hopefully someone from Konoha will be here to help but it's up to a three day walk...more if there are sand storms."

"Poisoned...You said? There's someone who could go against even Kankuro, at poison? Poison...Don't tell me you somehow managed to run into Akasuna no Sasori?! Gods...If not even Lady Chiyo managed to cure him, then there's no other. Hang in there, Kankuro, if Sasori did this to you, I have a shot at keeping you stable until Sakura comes. If Konoha sent help, I'm sure the Hokage sent her. Sakura's the best, okay? She can save you, no doubt. Do you hear me, Neko-chan?! Hang in there, fight, and show Sasori that you're the best!" Kitsune said, fired up by the information given to her by the doctor, which made her nod and ask the medical nin for the medical report and for the laboratory, so she could create a temporary relief for the boy. She wasn't a proper medical nin, not like Sakura, but she knew a bit more than average. Most shinobi are unaware of the dangers that lurk every second while on missions, dangers that can cause wounds. Wounds can be treated, but most teams don't have a medical nin, which is why the death rate is pretty high. Although she started learning medical jutsu for noble causes, she felt like a traitor. A traitor who betrayed not only herself, but Konoha, Suna, Kankuro and her old friend...Sasori. As much as she admired the puppeteer, and thanked him for teaching her the basics of chakra strings, he also taught her about poisons and antidotes of every type. She's been using weapons bathed in lethal poisons for years, but now, the poisons she prided herself with, were threatening her Kitten's life, which meant she had to destroy every principle she had, to save him. But it was worth it. She only had to wait a day before Sakura arrived, and once she did, she knew the information she had would help the pinkette work fast and efficient. Until then, she knew she had to work tirelessly to create the antidote. That day passed as slowly as a year, it seemed to the girl, as she could barely think of anything else but the state Kankuro was in when she arrived. She was determined to ease away the pain in any way possible, by any means necessary. Wiping her brow, she smiled softly at the jade-green antidote in the small vial, and getting up shakily, she made her way to the patient and sat down besides him, gazing at him as she caressed his face, before looking at the doctor and telling him about the antidote, a formality needed in order to be allowed to get the patient to drink it. She only hoped the antidote would work fast enough for him to feel less pain, and that Sakura would come faster so she could take away the poison from his system, before it was too late. "Hang in there, Neko-chan. I'm here. Kitsune is here, okay? I won't let you leave me before you can finally beat me at sparring. I'm like a parasite, y'know that. You can't get rid of me, even if you wanted." The fox-like girl chuckled weakly, trying to ease her own mind before kissing him hand once again before administering the liquid.

"Urgh...Couldn't you make it taste better...?" he uttered, choking on the serum, still not able to properly open his eyes, and so, not being able to see her face. In truth, he has never seen her face.

They first met when the Hokage assigned her, an ANBU, to show him around the village, in a way to make her take a break from all the difficult missions, and despite being rather socially awkward, they got along really well. Her fox mask was hiding all her fox-like features, the sly smirk, the mischievous glint in her emerald eyes, the beautiful, flawless porcelain skin... Or at least, that's how he imagined her.

The first day they met, they agreed to take each other's mask/hood off, but she tricked him, so she got to see him without his hood, but he couldn't reciprocate and from then on, he's been trying endlessly, but to no avail, to see her face. It was maddening for him, and it got to the point where he'd just randomly get caught daydreaming at how she'd look like. Maybe once he gets better, she will allow him to see her face, as a reward for not dying... If he indeed doesn't die, that is.

"Goodness, Sakura, honestly, I've never been happier to see you! Please save him, I've done all I could! I need your help to extract the poison from his system! I've seen it done at the hospital before, but it's incredibly difficult and I wouldn't trust anyone else to do it. The antidote...I did it already. If there's something I'm a Goddess at, it's poisons. I-I'll fill you in on the details as we go, but let's hurry and prepare! I know, and I'm sorry...I know you've been running for 3 days straight, but if we stay much longer, who knows what might happen!" the fox-girl yapped frantically, hugging her pink-haired best friend, green eyes staring into green eyes.

Sakura realised the gravity of the situation in a second, as she knew Kitsune never took off her mask, and now that she saw the obvious signs of sleep deprivation and general self-neglect and overwork, she realised that she was incredibly worried for the boy. She realised the signs of desperate emotions better than anyone else, for she would have been the same, were it Sasuke in Kankuro's place. The pinkette nodded firmly and rushed to the bed, reading briefly the status report, as well as hearing what Kitsune had to say and then started ordering the other doctors around, since she needed all the equipment ready.

As she instructed the fire-kissed girl on the procedure, and they began to take out the lethal poison from his system and although the method was incredibly advanced and difficult, there was nothing those two couldn't do together.

Kitsune ignored everything around her, including Temari, her dear friend, Naruto, Kakashi, even Lady Chiyo and the others who had to restraint Kankuro from thrashing around too much, as the girls used water to take away the poison from his system, and after hours, as soon as Sakura declared that there was no more poison left, she fell to her knees, holding the boy's hand tightly in both of hers, praying to whatever deity existed out there for the first time in her life.

Soon, she found herself alone - she had no idea how much time passed since it was night outside, until she heard a grunt which made her shot up to her feet and look him him.

"Kankuro, how are you feeling? Are you in pain? Do you need anything? Water, food, some fresh air uh...Your puppets? Just tell me and-" she asked faster than the brown-haired boy could even process, which made him roll his eyes and facepalm annoyed at her antics, until he realised that the one in front of him had nothing to conceal her face, and he could only stare at her with wide eyes, trying to usher any sound, but not being able too.

"Kankuro? Kankuro, answer me! Can you hear me? Is there something wrong? Oh my god, what if the poison got to his brain and fucked up his synapses...Or or maybe it damaged the temporal lobe? Or-...Oh my God, I must go get Sakura -" much like a meerkat she rambled and rambled, until she heard a quiet "Shut up", which had her stop in her tracks, slowly looking at him, concern still obvious in her eyes.

"Gosh...You're just as annoying as usual...Do you ever shut up?" he tried to joke, but his voice was still hoarse. "Oh uh...Sorry I...I was just worried and uhm...I...I'll just go get Sakura and leave you alone. You need peace and quiet to recover and she's better suited for that. I'll...Uhm...See you." biting her lip, she tried to turn away to leave, but was stopped by Kankuro who grabbed her wrist. "Don't be stupid, I never told you to leave. Not now, when I finally get to see your face. And it only took...What? 3 years? Gosh, you're hard to get. And it only took almost dying for you to forget to put your mask on when around me. Haha..." he smiled softly, motioning for her to sit on the bed next to him. "You almost died, Kankuro. I don't think this is the right time to joke or point out the fact that I let you see my face. It's no big deal, after all. It's just a face, nothing extraordinary, everyone has one." she shrugged, not understanding why he'd talk about that and not of other things more important. "Do you remember how we met?" he asked with a soft smirk, analysing her mimic very carefully. "How could I forget something like that...?" she muttered, slightly offended that he thought she would forget the day she met him.

The day when Kitsune went back from her highly important mission, she went straight to the Hokage's office to get another one, but was surprised to see a person she's never seen before, and even worse, Tsunade's smirk. Apparently, the blonde wanted to give her a break and had her mission be just showing the Sunagakure ninja around, only knowing that his name is Kankuro and he's the old Kazekage's son. The red-head cursed herself mentally since she was a terrible conversation-maker, but the time spent with him proved to be incredibly fun and soothing, since he was a sociable and friendly person.

"So, haven't seen ya around. Are you one of Naruto's many friends too?" he asked barely stealing a glance in her direction. "I used to help him cheat in the Academy. Then, we got separated, him with his team, myself with the ANBU and we didn't get to speak much. Then again, we meet once a month to eat ramen from Ichiraku." she said as a tint of nostalgia hit her. "Heh. That sounds like a lot of fun. Wish I had as many friends as him, sometimes. He's so obnoxious, though, I'd rather leave that one out." he chuckled, shaking his head. "Why do you think we only meet once a month? There's only so much hyperactivity one can take before it gets exhausting." the fox girl smirked behind the mask. "How come you don't take your mask off? What, scared to charm me to death~?" he smirked at her, stopping abruptly. "Supposedly, I'm on a mission. By ANBU rules, I have to keep it on. And not kill the one I'm supposed to protect, if it matters." the smugness in her voice was evident, as she too stopped, getting closer to his face. "Besides, it's not like I see you taking off your hood, kitty-cat." "Kitty-cat?! Wh-What the hell?!" he stuttered, looking at her wide-eyed in shock. "Well, clearly, this hood and the paint make you look like an innocent, harmless kitten. Can you prove me otherwise~?" she tried to provoke him. "I don't look harmle-...Wait a second...You're trying to provoke me! Oh, no no no, missy, it's not gonna work with me! I'm a calm, collected person-" he tried to say, but was cut off by Kitsune pinching his cheeks and saying 'hey, kitty, kitty, kitty~!" "I'M NOT A CAT! STOP THAT!" but the second he grasped her wrists, trying to make her stop, he halted and smirked. "How about a truce? If I take my hood off, I get to see your face. Deal?" he tried to reason. "Okay, fine. That sounds like a fair deal." she stated calmly, slowly taking his hood off, then ruffled his messy hair. "That was uncalled for. I said I was going to take my hood off." he pouted, trying to arrange his hair back. "Ah...You're right, I'm sorry. I was going to tell you that you might be the one charming me to death, after all, but...The deal was broke. Sorry, my fault~! Won't happen again~!" she said, giggling at his betrayed face. "Y-You...! You tricked me! You evil vixen!" he said desperately, trying to reach for her mask, but she quickly leaned back, inches away from his fingers. "Sorry, love. I guess I won't be able to kill you with my charm, just yet. After all, my mission is to protect you~." she was biting her lip, trying to stop herself from laughing. "You're going to be the death of me..." he sulked, hanging his head and crossing his arms. "Keep waiting and I might just be~." Kitsune said, pinching his cheek and walking in the direction of Ichiraku's, willing to treat her new kitty friend to the best ramen in town.

Remembering their first encounter, she smiled softly, closing her eyes and shaking her head, grasping Kankuro's hand again with both her hands.

"How could I ever forget that day..." she muttered, nostalgic. "Help me stand a bit, will you? I uh...Need some water." he tried to find an excuse to get closer to the girl, who was already there with a cool glass of water for him, helping him in a standing position slowly. She was completely unaware of how close they are, her mind only focused on making sure he's comfortable and not in pain, but him, on the other hand...His face flushed a bit, and he could already feel his heart beating faster and faster, as she kept his hand on his lower back to support him as he drank the water. "You're a bit flushed, Kankuro, are you sure you're feeling okay? Your face got really hot and rosey all of a sudden...Do you have a fever? Gods, that'd be horrible-" she started, putting her her hands on his cheeks and her lips on his forehead to feel if the warmth was unusual, but seeing that it was normal, she slowly backed away, her hands still on his face, looking down. "Do you...Do you like me, Kankuro?" she asked lowly, unsure of herself. "What gave it away?" he asked awkwardly, chuckling as her scratched the back of his head. "You don't have a fever, so if you didn't blush because of that...Well...I could only think of one other reason." she bit her lip, looking away, putting her hands on her lap, grasping them together shyly. "Well, there goes my confession. Never try to be romantic with a girl who knows medical stuff, she'll sniff you right from the start."  he chuckled, shaking his head and ruffling his hair a bit.  "I-I...Haha, Kankuro, I wasn't expecting that, to be fair. I'm...A bit shocked." she chuckled awkwardly, not knowing what to do. "Just when did you start calling me by my name, anyways? What happened to Neko-chan? It's not like you to be so serious for so long." he gave her a mock-smirk. "Honestly...CAN YOU BLAME ME?! You almost died! I was so worried and you expect me to care about what I call you or if I wear the mask or whatever?! Since I came here I could only think that I'd have to live without you and like?! I couldn't stop worrying and crying and all you can say is WHY DON'T I CALL YOU NEKO-CHAN?!" she yelled at him, barely stopping herself from beating him up. "Well...Yeah, I guess that's what I'm saying. I may not like it all that much, but if it's you...Let's just say I wouldn't let anyone call me that, okay? Look, I'm not good with words, okay? Yes, Kitsune, I like you, what else do you want me to say to make it more obvious? And you not calling me that stupid nickname, it's like, you're trying to distance yourself from me. Is that what you want?" he asked, slightly pissed off at her lack of reaction. "Do you think a nickname is going to show you that I love you? If that will make you feel better, then fine, I'll call you that. But I still love you, with or without that nickname. I love you, Neko-chan. Just...You have so many things on your head that I couldn't dare to say anything...But I had to make sure you were alive and healthy. People need you, but I'm the last person you should think about." she sighed, looking away. "It's because there are so many things on my head that I'd want you to be mine. So many bad things...Gaara getting kidnapped, the village getting attacked...But I have you. If I have you, then I think I can brave it all. You've always been with me, so don't leave me now. Kitsune...Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked, putting his hand on the back of her head, getting closer to her face. She looked into his eyes with her jade-green doe eyes looking wide in shock, searching deep into his soul, and seeing with how much love he's hazing at her, the soft smile on his face, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him softly, keeping him close to her.

"Guess that was easier than expected. I should get into life-threatening situations more often, if it means you get to kiss me." he chuckled, smiling shyly at her. "Next time you say that, I promise you I'm gonna beat the hell out of you next time you say, got it, Neko-chan? If you want a kiss, go ahead and steal it. Ain't gonna make it easy for you, hope y'know that, right~?" she slowly managed to get her infamous smirk back on her face, looking at him with her usual mischievous glint in her eye. "Better not complain when that happens then, Foxface." he teased, kissing her again as he caressed her face, feeling the soft skin.

"Hey, Kankuro, how are you feeli-...Ohh, nevermind, I'll just come back later. Lucky you~!" Temari's voice snapped the two lovers from their kiss and blushing, looked in her direction with a shocked expression, making her grin at them, leaving with a wink, putting her hand on Sakura's back to guide her out of the room. Pinkette who only gave two thumbs up and held a cheshire smile on her face, proud of her best friend. "Well...Guess there's no way to hide it now. It's official, and there's no way to shock anyone. Ah, what a pity." Kitsune shrugged, the corners of her lips tugged upwards in an feign-innocent smile. "I wouldn't even think of hiding it. I can't wait to tell Gaara when we save him." he chuckled mirthfully, hugging the girl close to him, laying back down on the bed, her head resting on his shoulder, closing her eyes and letting the peaceful atmosphere take over them.

They've been in love with each other for ages, but now that they confessed, their hearts are at peace. The only thing left to do was save Gaara and enjoy life as much as possible. After all...What's life without a little risk and love, right~?

[queenofcats17]

Outbreak 4

@bornoffireandwisdom had a few more ideas for Outbreak, so here we go again. This’ll probably be the last one. 

Once more Scientific Journalist Murray Hill belongs to @circus-craze

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Somehow, Wally was still kicking. He’d been infected, yes, due all the scratches and bites Sammy had delivered to him, but he hadn’t yet succumbed to the ink. As such, he’d taken to pitifully limping after Sammy to make sure his friend didn’t hurt anyone else. Most everyone was infected at this point, so his attempts at protection didn’t serve much of a purpose. Except to make Sammy feel even worse about the situation. He was still essentially trapped in his head, watching as his body moved without his input.

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt anybody,” Wally said. Sammy had stopped moving for the moment, so Wally had slumped against a wall. He looked awful. Ink was dribbling out of his mouth and he was pale and sweaty. His breathing had been shallow for quite a while now and when he moved he had to do so slowly. The scratches on his arms and face were bleeding black, not red.

I’m sorry, Wally. I’m so sorry. Sammy sobbed from within his mind. He already felt bad enough about hurting the other employees. But Wally was his best friend. Wally had been there for him for the majority of his life. No matter what, Wally had never abandoned him. Even now, when he was slowly dying because of what Sammy had done to him, Wally still wouldn’t leave him.

“You’re not a bad guy, I know you’re not.” Wally continued. “This is all probably Joey’s fault.” He laughed weakly. “When crazy stuff happens, he’s usually behind it, y’know?”

He was cut off as he launched into a fit of coughing, hacking up some large blobs of ink. Sammy didn’t flinch at this, at least not outwardly. He’d seen others succumb to the infection before.

“Aw geez.” Wally groaned. “This is even worse than that time I got chickenpox.” Sammy didn’t react, continuing to stare ahead like a machine on standby. 

“Man, you’re even quieter than you usually are.” Wally laughed once more, again interrupted by a coughing fit. He went quiet for a bit, coughing intermittently. 

“I’m sorry, Sammy.” He finally said, looking up at his friend. “I never should’ve let this happen to you.”

I’m the one who should be apologizing. Sammy sighed. I did this to you. I hurt you. I hurt everyone. You didn’t do anything wrong. 

“I mean, I know there’s probably nothing I could’ve done to stop it, but...Still...” Wally smiled. “You’re my best friend. I told myself I’d always keep you safe.” His eyelids were beginning to flutter now. His strength was ebbing. 

“Y’know, I’m feeling pretty tired now.” He feigned a yawn. “I think...I think I’m gonna take a nap.”

No! Don’t go to sleep! Sammy tried to force the words out. You’ll die if you sleep!

“Just gonna...Take a quick...rest...” Wally mumbled, laying down. Soon enough, he was fast asleep. Sammy watched his chest rise and fall in a constant rhythm. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. Leave it to Wally to fall asleep in the middle of an apocalypse. He’d always envied how incredibly carefree Wally could be.

“Sleep...Well...” He croaked, leaning down to pat Wally’s head. 

.

Elsewhere, Joey had departed from level 14 to check up on Murray. He was in a particularly good mood after his successful taunting of Norman and wanted to check on Murray’s progress to further boost his mood. He was sure Murray had made some observations, especially since practically the entire studio was infected by this point. 

“Mr. Hill, how are things coming along?” He asked, striding into Murray’s makeshift lab. The scientist was standing off a Searcher who’d been placed on a table, just staring into the creature’s eyes.

“Mr. Hill?” Joey stopped just behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Murray yelped, stumbling away from both the Searcher and Joey. He would have fallen into a small clump of Searchers (they’d formed a little lump, almost like they were huddling together) if Joey hadn’t caught him by the arm. 

“Is something wrong, Mr. Hill?” Joey raised an eyebrow as he set Murray back on his feet. “You’re awfully jumpy.”

“Oh, um, I’m fine.” Murray laughed nervously, starting to visibly sweat. “What, um, what can I do for you?”

“I came to check on your progress.” Joey withdrew his hand, his expression remaining skeptical. “I do hope everything is going well.” There was an underlying threat to his words that made Murray whimper quietly.

“Everything’s going great!” Murray clapped his hands together. “The infection is progressing very well!”

“Do they have any lingering control?” Joey asked, casting a glance back at the clump of Searchers. 

“I...don’t believe so.” Murray looked back at the Searchers as well. “They seem to lose all sense of self and individuality when the infection takes over.”

“And do they follow orders?”

“I haven’t tested that yet,” Murray admitted. “You’re the one they’re supposed to listen to, so I couldn’t really do it without you.”

“Well, I know at least one listens to me.” Joey smiled gleefully as a shape rose from the floorboards. It didn’t look any different than any of the other Searchers, but Murray figured it had to be someone important. Why else would Joey be keeping them with him?

“You’ve been remarkably cooperative, haven’t you, Miss Benton?” Joey cooed, patting the Searcher’s head. Murray’s stomach dropped. 

“Miss...Benton?” Murray asked. 

“Yes.” Joey gave him an eerie smile. “She put up quite a fight, but in the end, I won.” His glee was decidedly unsettling, cementing Murray’s belief in the inevitability of his own death. 

“I still need to make sure the others are falling in line, though.” Joey’s smile vanished as he shifted to a more businesslike state. “We can’t have any pockets of resistance.” We. There was no we, Murray thought bitterly. There was only Joey. 

He stood to the side as Joey began to test the obedience of the assembled Searchers. He smiled at the appropriate times, trying to hide his growing fear and unease. It was sickening watching Joey jerk these people around like puppets on a string. These were people he reminded himself. They weren’t mindless slaves. They had lives and feelings and dreams. And Murray had helped take all of that away from them. Joey’s voice broke him from his brooding. 

“I must say, Mr. Hill, I’m impressed.” He said as the Searchers moved across the room. “Your virus has done everything you promised and more.”

“I’m glad you’re satisfied, Mr. Drew.” Murray smiled shakily. “But how do you know they’re following orders? All you’ve really done is make them move around the room.”

“I can see through their eyes,” Joey replied, a malicious gleam in his eyes. “Not just the ones in here. I can see through all of their eyes. Trust me, they’re following orders.” 

“Ah.” The word was short and clipped as if he’d had to force it out. More a vocalization than an actual word, really. Just what on Earth was Joey making them do?

Suddenly, two Searchers entered. To Murray’s horror, the ink hadn’t covered enough of their bodies for them to be recognizable. It was Shawn Flynn and Grant Cohen. Both had very clearly transitioned into being Searchers, judging from their eyes and the bulging black veins across their bodies, but the ink was still consuming them. One of Grant’s legs had already been turned to ink, so he limped as he followed Shawn in.

“Oh, look, Miss Benton!” Joey pointed gleefully at the sorry pair. “Your friends are part of our family now! Isn’t that nice?” Murray felt sick at seeing Joey’s joy. Would Joey be that delighted at his demise? He felt as though he already knew the answer to that question. Even if he never wronged Joey, this was the fate awaiting him. Death and ink.

“Mr. Drew...Are you sure we’re doing the right thing?” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Joey stopped what he’d been doing, essentially making the corruption on Shawn and Grant speed up, and turned to Murray. 

“Not having second thoughts, are you?” He asked. His smile was sweet on the surface, but Murray couldn’t help but feel that there was danger lurking below that sweetness.

“No! Not at all!” Murray put his hands up in defense. “It’s just...Some of the employees have been, well, cursing me? And you?”

“Don’t pay them any mind.” Joey waved his hand dismissively. “They simply don’t understand.”

“Of course, of course.” Murray let out a high pitched laugh. “So, um, is there anything else I can do for you?”

“No, I think that’s enough for today.” Joey patted his shoulder. “Keep up the good work, Mr. Hill.” He gave him a wink before disappearing out the door. 

It took Murray a moment or two to remember that he had to breathe after Joey left. He took a few deep breaths, leaning against the wall.

“What am I doing?” He murmured. He got no answer.

.

Jack wasn’t entirely sure what was going on. He’d fallen asleep and now everything was...weird. Not necessarily bad, but...weird. His head felt all fuzzy and he couldn’t necessarily remember what had happened to him that day. He was pretty sure he might have gone for a swim? He remembered a lot of liquid. Oh well, it was probably fine. Everyone was acting rather strange, though. A lot of people were crying and screaming, especially when they saw him. Some other people were also attacking the screaming and crying people. Jack stayed away from those people. He’d never really liked conflict.

He started to make his way through the studio, unsure of where exactly he was going. He just sort of wanted to wander. His songwriting area had been flooded, so he couldn’t really hang out there. He had to find somewhere else to go. Somewhere quiet. Jack had always liked the quiet. He was a rather shy person, so he tended to prefer staying away from large crowds. There were more crowds than there usually were. He wasn’t sure why everyone was clumping together like this. Didn’t they have work to do? Well, he probably had work to do too. But if Sammy needed him for something he could come find him.

He ended up in the Heavenly Toys area. It looked rather like a fight had happened. Cutouts were broken, there was ink everywhere, and some of the shelves had been knocked over. Jack frowned. What on Earth could have done this? That was when he heard the sound of someone crying. 

“It’s okay, Alli, we’re going to be okay.” Another soft voice came from further in. It was coming from behind the shelves, through the door to the Alice Angel meet and greet area. Jack oozed through the cracks and into the room (although he wasn’t entirely sure how he’d done that) to see who was crying. 

He found Allison and Thomas sitting on the ground with their backs against the window to Alice Angel’s area. They both looked exhausted. Their clothing was ripped and covered in ink, they had scratches and bites all over their bodies, and their hair was disheveled and wild. Allison was the one who was crying, although Thomas looked as though he was seriously considering it himself. Thomas had a pipe laying beside him while Allison had a sword propped up next to her. 

Jack made a concerned noise, moving closer. Almost immediately, the couple’s attention snapped to Jack. Before he knew what was happening, they both had their weapons raised.

“What do you want?” Allison demanded, pointing the sword toward Jack. Jack whimpered, backing away. He’d never considered Allison to be an intimidating person, but seeing her with a sword that she very clearly knew how to use definitely changed that. 

“Did Joey send you to finish us off?” Allison advanced on him, only to falter and almost fall. Thomas quickly caught her, gently lowering her to the ground. 

“If you’re here to finish us off, do it.” Thomas didn’t even look at Jack as he spoke. “We can’t fight anymore.” Jack made another concerned noise, moving closer to put a hand on Allison’s shoulder. She jerked away and he withdrew his hand. 

“Why aren’t you attacking us?” Allison asked, turning a bit so she could see Jack better. 

Jack frowned. Why would he attack them? He wasn’t violent. The sound he made was indignant. At least, it was supposed to be. It was hard to communicate using only sounds. Why couldn’t he talk?

“He’s biding his time,” Thomas grumbled, although there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

“I...I don’t think he’s like the others.” Allison gently disentangled herself from Thomas and scooted over to Jack. “Are you hurt us?” 

Jack fervently shook his head, almost dislodging his hat. 

“You...really aren’t here to hurt us?” Thomas asked. Jack shook his head again.

“I think I recognize this hat.” Allison patted Jack’s hat. “Is that you, Jack?”

“Fain? The songwriter?” Thomas frowned. Jack nodded excitedly, clapping his hands together and making happy noises. 

Allison’s expression softened. “It’s good to see you, Jack.” 

Jack wanted to ask what had happened, but he felt like it would be rude to force them to relive whatever horrors they’d already gone through. Not to mention, he couldn’t really talk. So he stayed with them, providing silent companionship. Although Thomas was still wary, he allowed Jack to sit near them as they returned to their position under the window. There wasn’t much talking to be done. Jack couldn’t talk, and Allison and Thomas seemed too tired to talk. 

“I guess we’re going to die here, huh?” Allison let out a laugh that failed to sound anything but mournful. 

“I guess we are.” Thomas was stoic, as always, but Jack could have sworn he saw a faint tremble in the other man’s lip. Jack touched their legs as if to assure them that he was there.

“Thank you, Jack.” Allison smiled slightly and patted his head. “You’re a sweetheart.” Jack made a happy trill, perking up at her praise. 

As the minutes slowly passed, Jack could hear the couple’s heartbeats slowly getting weaker. They were drifting in and out of consciousness, holding each other’s hands. It had only really just hit Jack that they were going to die. He’d heard them say it, heard them discuss it, but he’d just now realized it. He whimpered, curling up between the two of them. He didn’t know them all that well, but he didn’t want them to die. They seemed like nice people. Even Tom, for all his gruffness, didn’t seem like a bad guy. He seemed more fed up with Joey than anything else. Was this what had happened to the other people? Was this what had happened to him?

Eventually, the heartbeats stopped. Jack whimpered, prodding at their bodies. When prodding didn’t work, he started shaking them gently. He knew it wouldn’t do any good. But still...He hoped they’d jolt back to life. That Thomas would tell him not to get so close. But they didn’t. They just laid there. Cold. Still. Jack felt rather like crying. He’d never seen a dead body before, much less two. He’d watched them die. Dear gods, he’d watched them die. 

It was a little longer before Joey appeared. Jack flinched away, whimpering. Joey was giving off an aura that he really wasn’t comfortable with. 

“My my, Mr. Fain. Did you finish the deed?” Joey asked, striding in. Jack whimpered again, pressing himself into a corner. 

“Ah, well.” Joey turned his back on him, grabbing Allison and Thomas by the ankles. “I have some work to do. I hope you’ll excuse me.” He departed, dragging the bodies on the ground. Jack stayed where he was long after Joey was gone. He didn’t know what to do or where to go. He wanted to go back to his safe place. He wanted to be safe again. 

He disappeared into a puddle, going back to the sewers. He wanted to stay there. Stay there until the fears and memories went away. 

[mentalcurls]

6.5 Effettivamente

I’ve been waiting for this clip ever since 3.4 Argentina (which took place a month ago today btw), but in my soul I’ve actually been waiting for this coming out since forever.

my 💔 poor 💔 heart 💔 broke 💔 seeing Martino watch his friends interact from afar

they’re relaxed and comfortable with each other, their relationship is as close as ever while Marti’s relationship with them is in tatters, he barely speaks to Gio and that’s it

this is even worse than the picture Gio posted on IG on Tuesday, when Martino was supposed to go to Elia’s to prep for the exam and didn’t go

my 💔 poor 💔 heart 💔 breaking 💔 again because, despite Giovanni’s reassurances on Monday, Martino doesn’t believe Elia has forgiven him so he chooses to stay away from him... and let’s not forget Elia sits next to Marti during classes

Elia leaves, Martino finally approaches Giovanni, but he looks like he’s going to his death, look at his face, my poor baby

has he ever been bluer?

deep breaths baby, deep breaths

HE DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING? LEAVING THE FIRST MOVE TO GIO (who doesn’t disappoint thank God)? SO HE COULD HYPOTHETICALLY IGNORE HIM?

JEsus, the awkwardness between them kills me

the seconds of silence between the greeting and Marti asking the first question, Martino licking his lips and swallowing like he’s gathering the courage to say something monumental despite it being a silly, innocent question

THE STILTED CONVERSATION oh God why, I’m hurting

“Ma non penso che ti interessi, no?” (But I don’t think you’re interested, right?) is Martino twisting a knife into his own wound because he’s saying: you don’t want to go out with the radio guys, you don’t want to get involved into something I’m doing (and I like, because we’ve seen he’s putting more effort into it with the Virginia Woolf thing on Wednesday - though it might also be something to keep his mind occupied on something that is not his crumbling relationships), you don’t want to spend time with me

I mean, Marti obviously knows, intellectually, that Gio doesn’t want to go to radio things because of Eva and because it’s just not his thing, but deep inside it’s just another refusal, one which Martino preemptively steels himself for

That “se… se ti va puoi… puoi venire da me” (If you’d like you can come to mine) is said in the same tone Martino has when he tells Filippo he’s seeing a boy in 5.5 Pride and when he asks Sana about homosexuality and religion in 4.3 Evoluzione

“Pizza, mortazza e City-Real” ICONIC

Marti asks Gio to hang out with a half smile (!!!) but Gio remains impassible and Martino’s smile falls

when Giovanni asks about their score, it’s as good as a YES FINALLY, it’s the rebuilding of the bridge between them and Martino smiles fully possibly for the first time in weeks because that’s their game, their ritual, their friendship going back to normal

WHEN THEY LEAVE THEY’RE BOTH SMILING AND TEASING EACH OTHER my heart sings with joy

Marti and Gio who are still laughing and making fun of one another while playing FIFA

(FIFA is a big bonding ritual for the boysquad, it’s the way they settle bets, it’s one of the topics they tease each other about, they play tournaments when they don’t know what to do, they keep long term score of who’s best and it’s something they all love, it’s a place of comfort for them)

(FIFA is a football/soccer game, which is imho significant as the setting Marti picks for his coming out, he’s trying to reinforce the idea that he’s still a guy who loves “boy things” like sports and videogames, despite his sexuality - as well as trying to reinforce that he’s still the same guy who played the previous 47+56 games he and Gio kept score of)

(the fact that Gio hesitates before starting to play FIFA again after Martino tells him he likes boys probably ups the level of panic in Marti’s head, because what if he’s gonna be excluded from something as important for their group and as “masculine” as FIFA now??)

(when Gio starts to play again AND ASKS MARTINO ABOUT NICO AT THE SAME TIME it’s such an important thing for Marti because he finds out can have it all)

I would like to thank not only God but also Jesus and LudoBesse for the closeups of Ludovico Tersigni’s face when he smiles 🙏

Their knees touching just gets to me, for no real reason, and I kinda wish we were able to see if they kept touching for the whole time or if Marti retracted after coming out

EFFFFFFettttttivaaamenteeeeee (make it last longer c’mon, Marti, I know you can)

is it me or does Marti look a tad disappointed when Gio asks him if the person he likes is Emma? maybe it’s just nerves

Marti who keeps stealing glances at Giovanni, checking in constantly

Gio senses Martino is uncomfortable, especially after the “ma non l’hai capito?” “no non si capisce un cazzo” (“don’t you know?” “no, I can’t understand you for shit”) exchange, and cracks the Sana joke to make him relax a bit, you can see he’s trying to keep a straight face long enough to speak without giving himself away (he should learn to deliver jokes from Nico, I mean, he kept a straight face for the whole Maddalena and hypertrichosis thing)

“Non *swallows* non è una ragazza” (It’s not *swallows* it’s not a girl) POOR BABY DEER HE CAN’T EVEN SPEAK  his throat must be so dry, he must be trying to keep breathing normally so hard, he’s probably shaking and THEN HE CLENCHES HIS JAW

once again Marti is steeling himself for the worst

and Gio just goes... slack, is the best way I can think to describe it, for a second. I don’t think it’s surprise? At least not for the gay thing, maybe for the fact that Marti actually confirmed it for him. It may also be relief

it’s just a second, then Gio gathers himself and thinks, looks at Marti who can’t meet his eyes

“Sono io?” (mind, non-Italian fans, it’s not a “Is it me?”, it’s more of a “It’s me?”)

I LIVE FOR MARTINO OVERCOMPENSATING WHEN HE DENIES IT to hide the fact that he did, indeed, crush on Gio for a long time 😘

the smiles. their smiles. Marti is slowly relaxing, Gio is finally understanding what’s going on with him and they feel like THEY’RE FINALLY FRIENDS AGAIN✨

Marti thinks it’s over, the three most important things he can see Gio wanting to know about (why’s Martino hurting, that Marti is gay and that he’s not in love with him) are out there and cleared between them now, and Gio smiled! And had nothing bad to say! Except he won’t play. Uh-oh.

HA, Giovanni Garau, patron saint of best friends, does it again! He’s put together all the little pieces, all the scraps of interaction, all the tiny moments when something he couldn’t quite pinpoint happened and BAM! He gets it, he knows.

Martino’s wry smile and nod

Gio mirroring him and nodding as well, halfway between “Okay, I can see it” and “Dude, well done, I’m actually kind of impressed”

and then Gio comes in like a wrecking ball against toxic masculinity and compliments Marti on his choice of man

Marti who acts like he’s never even noticed whether Nico is attractive or not

Marti looks so embarrassed, he should have been blushing (FE_CESARI UR GOOD BUT WHERE ARE MY BLUSHES ARE YOU A REDHEAD OR NOT????)

I wonder how closely Gio is mirroring the comments Martino usually makes when Gio himself tells him he’s attracted to a girl, maybe even when he told him about Eva? He tries his best to be supportive even though he doesn’t really understand, the exact same way Marti has always been supportive of him despite not understanding girls’ appeal

“Che fate, state insieme, uscite, COME STAI?” (What’s happening there, are you togethere, are you dating, how are you?) COME STAI GUYS most supportive best friend ever

“È un po’ strano lui” (He’s kind of weird) is such a weird way to put it? I mean, sure, you could say Nico acted weird, but not for the reasons Martino gives Gio, imo; he’s “weird” for changing schools in his last year, for his granddad’s puppets, for asking Marti to ditch a party he himself had asked him to and for dragging him to an abandoned pool of all places; Marti instead describes his as weird for appearing undecided, for seemingly stringing him along

is that a hint of disgust, almost, I detect in Martino’s voice while he quotes Niccolò’s text? Is he that fed up?

Gio makes a sound at that, that I can’t decide if it’s just an encouragement for Marti to go on, or if it’s an “okay, got it” while he plans Niccolò’s demise for daring to string Martino along

still, Giovanni sides with Martino but doesn’t tell his best friend he’s better off without Nico or make any threats of retribution or promises to fight for Marti’s honour or smth, because he’s a supportive pal who will trashtalk Marti’s s.o. when he acts like a dick but will still support Marti’s feelings for him and believes in Martio’s ability to take care of himself

I have Questions about Luchino’s voice message, specifically: who was this message sent to?

not Gio directly, because Luca asks “Voi c’avete”, second person plural

did he send it to the group with all four guys? but Marti’s phone didn’t ring, so either he’s got the group conversation muted (💔) or Luca sent it somewhere else

is there a group with only Gio, Elia and Luca in it to whom the latter could have sent the voice message? again, my 💔 heart 💔 breaks 💔

anyways, Marti is the best bro because despite not talking to Luca for two weeks he still offers up his notes

Gio taking advantage of Martino leaving without pausing the game to score on him lol

Gio asks Martino what he’s found while Marti is looking at the flipbook thingy... how much do you want to bet that by the time Marti answers nothing with that big smile on his face, Gio has seen the thing, what Marti was doing with it and the way he was smiling and he’s put everything together without Marti saying anything? that’s why he doesn’t press, as much as in recognition of the fact that Marti already opened up to him so much today

I 100% love the way both Marti and Gio start their sentences when they’re saying something important with “Comunque” (Anyways) as if it’s just a continuation from one long conversation between them, or as if they’re just stating for the record something that is obvious

Marti was definitely not expecting at all Gio to actively tell him he’s better than whoever Niccolò’s girlfriend is on principle, which in my experience is a very common best friend thing to say, and that hurts

Gio grabbing Marti by the neck and ruffling his hair is such a friend/brother thing to do, it’s a fond and exasperated thing in the way only siblings’ touches can be, halfway between an attempt to strangle you and a caress

This clip was so beautiful, the friendship between Giovanni and Martino is so beautiful, their ship is so beautiful! I’m so happy and so thankful for LudoBesse 🙏

[shmosnet2]

10 Offbeat Facts About The Macy's Thanksgiving Parade

10 Offbeat Facts About The Macy's Thanksgiving Parade

Nothing says the beginning of the holiday season like the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Not only does the event have all the delightful hallmarks of the American holiday season, it is one national tradition that can be trusted. But an event beginning in the 1920s doesn’t get this far without a bit of intrigue and a couple of secrets. Add some spicy conversation to your Thanksgiving morning this year by impressing your family with a few fun facts about this American holiday icon. See Also: 10 Unsolved Thanksgiving Mysteries 10 The balloons were introduced to make it less terrifying

When Macy’s first got the idea for the parade in 1924, employees participated along with animals from the famous Central Park Zoo. Originally donkeys, elephants, goats, and camels walked the route. Seems innocent enough, right? It might have been, except in 1925 and 1926, the organizers decided to up the ante, adding lions, tigers, and bears. You guessed it – oh my! Children along the route were so scared that Macy’s decided to trade in live animals for large rubber puppets, eventually evolving into large balloons. The move proved to be the right one, as the larger than life helium-filled animals are now recognized worldwide as a Macy’s trademark.[1] 9 The parade chased one American tradition into obscurity and birthed another

Ever heard of Ragamuffin Day? Started after Abraham Lincoln’s Presidential Declaration in 1863 making the last Thursday in November Thanksgiving Day, this adorable tradition involved children “dressing down” as hoodlums and begging for treats on the street. Eventually, the participants earned the name “Ragamuffins,” and the holiday became widely known. The occasion gained particular popularity in New York City and over time more costumes were added to the act of walking the streets asking “Anything for Thanksgiving?” The rise in popularity of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade along with the onset of the Great Depression brought Ragamuffin Day to a slow halt. By the early 1950s, however, the tradition had morphed into what we call Trick or Treating. Thanks, Macy’s![2] 8 Extreme balloon chasing, anyone?

The first decade of the parade included a tradition that turned the occasion into a weekend-long event as the animal balloons were released into the air to soar above the city and beyond. Expensive to produce, if found, the balloons could be returned to Macy’s for a cash prize. This incentive also led to the demise of the tradition, when aviator Annette Gipson ruined it for everyone in 1928 by flying her plane into one of the balloons to retrieve it. As the balloon got wrapped around its left wing, the plane began a tailspin, horrifying onlookers. Luckily, Gipson’s instructor took over, but not without the passenger door flying open and nearly forcing her out of the plane. Macy’s decided to put an end to the flying animal balloons from then on.[3] 7 The balloon animals might be cute, but they can also be dangerous

The famous larger-than-life balloons might seem harmless, but they have a dark side. Over the years they have been responsible for multiple injuries of spectators, including children. Most life-threatening was the Cat in the Hat that graced the 1997 route. Along the way it collided with a lamppost, the top of which struck an unsuspecting woman in the head, knocking her unconscious. A month-long coma followed, resulting in brain damage and permanent injury of the 34-year old mother. That’s not the end of the terror. Another incident involved Sonic the Hedgehog’s less-than auspicious debut to the parade in 1993 when he also crashed into a lamppost, leaving two spectators with semi-serious injuries. Oh, and 2005’s M&Ms balloon also failed to stay away from lampposts along the route, knocking into one of them and injuring two sisters. While Macy’s took responsibility for each incident, one has to wonder what the real threat is; the balloons, or the city’s lampposts.[4] 6The balloons are also at risk of violence While they have since tried to keep it under wraps, in the 1997 parade and at the height of his popularity, Barney the Dinosaur’s inflatable version was the victim of an attack. When unprecedented winds made things difficult for the balloon handlers, all were ordered to pause and allow the purple dinosaur to deflate. While waiting for this to occur, however, the Barney balloon hit a light pole and incurred a massive gash in his side, seeing him rapidly approaching the street. The New York City Police, however, didn’t think it was happening quickly enough and, scared for the safety of the balloon handlers, jumped on top of the rubber likeness of everyone’s favorite t-rex and started stabbing it (yes, you read that right). To prevent traumatizing children watching from home, NBC aired a recording of the Barney balloon from a previous parade on the televised broadcast. However, the scene made its way to YouTube in 2003, delighting some and disturbing others as it went viral. Barney sustained another gory injury in the 2005 parade when a tree tore his left leg before he even made it out the gate. The purple friend persevered, however, walking the route with the gash for the world to see. What a trooper. 5 The balloons helped defeat the Nazis

The only times that the parade has been canceled since its inception were the 1942, 1943, and 1944 parades, canceled due to America’s involvement in World War Two. It wasn’t that Macy’s thought it inappropriate to hold such a festive event while soldiers were overseas fighting a lengthy and gruesome war, it was because the military was experiencing severe rubber and helium shortages and regulations against overuse extended even to the famous parade. With no way around it, the event was canceled. Macy’s managed to stay in the spotlight, however, donating the balloons to the armed forces in a City Hall ceremony. We’re talking 650 pounds of rubber and who knows how much helium, not too shabby. Pictured is the 1937 Nazi parade in Long Island . . . yup: Long Island—that really happened.[5] 4 Speaking of helium, the parade keeps the industry afloat

While it may seem cute and cozy from the sidelines and TV screens, the parade is no small neighborhood holiday event. The Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade is currently second to only the United States government itself as the largest consumer of helium worldwide. For now, though, it looks like this consumption isn’t a concern and won’t lead to any shortages, even with the gas needed increasingly for technology.[6] 3Do you have a license for that balloon?

Each of the parade’s inflated balloons has its own “pilot” — the person walking backward in front of the balloon and its group of carriers. The position isn’t just one that employees volunteer for if needed. Rather, anyone selected to perform the duty undergoes special training through Macy’s. Additionally, they must learn to walk backward for 2.5 miles. Training takes place twice a year involving both classroom curriculum and track instruction. And yes, it’s all for the prestige; the crew at the parade work on a volunteer basis, doing it for fun, or to cross off a bucket list item. Even though each of the 15-plus balloons requires 50-100 handlers, jobs are hard to come by. If you don’t work for Macy’s you must be sponsored by a Macy’s employee, which is harder than it sounds, as many volunteers hold onto their positions year after year, with the same gusto as they hold onto their inflatable friends. If you do end up finding a sponsor, you will only be granted a position if you pass the physical requirements for the job. With each balloon handler navigating the route with a 300-500 pound pull, handlers are required to be over 18, weigh at least 120 pounds, be free of heart issues, and bear strapping knees and backs.[7] 2 Felix the Cat gets burned

Does Felix the Cat being the first balloon animal to ride in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade sound familiar? That’s because the actual first cartoon characters licensed, The Katzenjammer Kids, aren’t exactly household names anymore (nor does “Katzenjammer Kids” roll off the tongue as easily). Felix did appear in the parade, but only as a rubber blow-up puppet of sorts. In truth, Felix joined the parade as a helium-filled balloon in 1932. The naughty cat was, however, the first cartoon character in the parade to get into mischief befitting of a feline. The famous cat apparently has a thing for electric lines and playing with fire. The first mishap took place in 1929 when the above-mentioned blow-up puppet got away from its small group of handlers and went straight for the closest electric line, catching fire and going up in flames (also leaving his kitten son, being pulled as a separate blow-up doll, fatherless). The feline showed its pyromaniac tendencies again in 1931 following the onset of the short-lived tradition of setting the balloons out into the wild at the end of the parade. This time, a solo pilot in the air, Clarence D. Chamberlin, tried to claim Felix for his own via lasso (yes, an actual lasso). Alas, the spunky cat broke free, and again headed straight for the electric lines, bursting into immediate flames. Macy’s wouldn’t give up, however, and the releasing of the balloons would last another three years before they decided it might have too many public safety risks associated with it (ya think?).[8] 1 They want you to believe in Santa

Santa Claus has brought the parade to a close for each year of its run, except for 1933, when organizers decided to mix it up by having him mark the beginning of the parade. Seems like a good gig for a Santa-method actor, right? Well maybe, if absolute secrecy about the role is something you can agree to. When the parade was first televised (interestingly, those enjoying the parade at home did so via radio for the first two decades of its existence) in 1948, Macy’s scored Charles Howard, founder of the Santa School (yes, you heard that right) in Albion, Michigan, to play the part. He donned the red suit in the parade until 1965, being hired by Macy’s to work as Santa in their New York City store as well. When Howard retired in 1965, however, the company decided to go back to the traditional stance on Santa — there’s just one, and there he is, on the float! Actors playing Jolly old St. Nick have been anonymous ever since. In a national event featuring only the most famous cartoon characters and celebrities, that’s one impressive feat.[9] About The Author: Janice is a freelance writer and proofreader living in Denver, Colorado. She is a history enthusiast who also loves books, travel, old stuff, and a good list. You can follow her adventures on Instagram and on Twitter.

https://ift.tt/2DQh4mD . Foreign Articles December 06, 2019 at 12:03PM

[ramajmedia]

The Rise of Skywalker: 10 Best Palpatine Moments So Far

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’s December release date is edging closer, with anticipation beginning to rise. And while fans can’t wait to see Rey and Kylo Ren face off again, the movie’s decision to bring Sheev Palpatine back into the fold over 30 years on from his apparent death in Return of the Jedi is what has set tongues wagging among even the most critical of viewers.

RELATED: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker: 10 Showdowns We Want To See

How Palpatine will return is a mystery, but there’s no denying he’s the best bad guy in Star Wars history. With that in mind, we now take a look at his top 10 moments throughout the franchise so far, explaining our choices as we go along.

10 The Grooming Begins

Palpatine knew Anakin Skywalker was strong with the force when he meets his future apprentice during 1999’s Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. Anakin is just a child at this point, but having already excelled at Podracing and helping the Republic tackle the Trade Federation, he was certainly no ordinary boy. And Palpatine begins his charm offensive towards Jake Lloyd’s character during this film.

Right at the very end, Palpatine says "we will watch your career with great interest", suggesting he had his heart set on making the teenager his apprentice right from the very off. The fact he says it with a mischievous smile, too, shows that he was confident in being able to transform Anakin into an evil Sith Lord. The grooming begins.

9 Starting the Clone Wars

With Padme Amidala going into hiding during Attack of the Clones following two unsuccessful attempts on her life, it’s left to Jar Jar Binks to act as her eyes and ears within the Senate. While Jar Jar is admittedly kind, he leaves a lot to be desired when it comes to brains and, with him in charge, Palpatine’s plot against democracy is able to take off.

Jar Jar ends up giving Palpatine more powers and he uses those to commence the Clone Wars right at the very end of the movie. This allows him to continue pitching both the Republic and their enemy forces against each other, until the war would come to be a distraction while he carried out his dastardly plan to rule the galaxy.

8 Telling Anakin to Kill Count Dooku

At the start of Revenge of the Sith, Anakin Skywalker is hellbent on rescuing Palpatine from the clutches of Count Dooku who, besides kidnapping his father figure, had chopped the Jedi’s hand off during a showdown on Geonosis during Attack of the Clones.

Anakin and Dooku face off again and, when Kenobi is taken out of the battle, Skywalker embraces the dark side and allows his rage and anger to guide him to victory. He stops short of murdering his enemy when he manages to cut both of Dooku’s hands off but Palpatine, menacingly, urges him to do the deed. He duly does and it’s another key moment in Anakin’s slide towards the dark side.

RELATED: Star Wars: Kylo Ren's 10 Best Moments (So Far)

7 Murdering the Jedi

Prior to Revenge of the Sith, we’d never ever seen Palpatine engage an enemy in lightsaber combat. After all, being so powerful and having force lightning in his weapon's repertoire, why would he ever need to draw a crimson blade? Well, it turns out in the final chapter of George Lucas’ prequel trilogy he’s actually sublime at fighting as well.

When confronted by Mace Windu, Kit Fisto, Agen Kolar, and Saesee Tiin he doesn’t flinch. And he slays Kisto, Kolar, and Tiin with minimal fuss, dispatching them as if they were younglings rather than established members of the Jedi council. He then proceeds to have a big duel with Windu and shows another of his best qualities...

6 Manipulating Anakin Skywalker

It looks as if Windu is going to murder Palpatine, despite it not being the Jedi way. Samuel L. Jackson’s character believes it’s too dangerous to leave a person with as much sway and influence as the Sith Lord live and is about to slice through the dark side user,  before Anakin Skywalker steps in to lob his hand off.

Palpatine manipulates Anakin. He pretends to be a weak old man and references Skywalker’s marriage to Padme Amidala, a secret unknown by the Jedi. Ultimately, the conflicted Republic hero chooses to back the Sith Lord due to the fact he can save the person he loves most from dying and this is the scene where Darth Vader is figuratively born.

RELATED: Star Wars: Rey's 10 Best Moments (So Far)

5 Battling Yoda

Palpatine is Emperor and a man very much on top when Yoda pays him a visit in his Senator’s office. The little green Jedi shows his discontent for the Sith Lord by mercilessly knocking out one his guards and proceeding to fight his enemy with the sake of the galaxy on the line.

And the Sith Lord loves it. He engages Yoda in a fight using both his lightsaber and force lightning, eventually overcoming his opponent and living to fight another day. He’s pure evil within the sequence, goading the Jedi and expressing a confidence that his new apprentice, Darth Vader, would go on to eclipse. His happiness is short-lived, however, when he senses Anakin's imminent downfall on the lava planet of Mustafar.

4 The Smile

Nothing points out someone's evil nature like smiling at the misfortune of others. And Emperor Palpatine does exactly that, allowing his lips to form a menacing grin when he informs Darth Vader that his wife Padme, despite his vow to save her life, had died following his sudden attack on her.

This scene gives us chills - and the theories that arose afterward are partly to blame. Some believe that Palpatine actually drained Padme’s life in order to ensure Anakin's survival, who had sustained a damaging defeat at the hands of Obi-Wan Kenobi on Mustafar. Whether this is true has never been clarified, but the smile, whatever it means, is certainly a symbol of villainy.

3 Goading Luke Skywalker

For most of the original trilogy, Palpatine is rarely seen with Darth Vader. However, he is introduced in The Empire Strikes Back before returning for a prominent role during Return of the Jedi.

At this point, Palpatine tries to turn Luke Skywalker against his father. He wickedly goads Luke, telling him that his friends are destined to die on the planet of Endor where the Rebel Alliance is facing off against the Empire and their thousands of Stormtroopers. He also insists that it’s Luke’s destiny to take the same path as his father, lauding the fact he’s been able to keep Vader by his side for so long. While it doesn’t work, it’s certainly additional proof of his wicked ways.

RELATED: Star Wars: 6 Best Sequel Trilogy Characters (& 4 Worst)

2 His Death

While we know Emperor Palpatine will be in The Rise of Skywalker one way or another, he definitely seems dead at the time of writing. And his demise, suffered at the hands of Darth Vader during Return of the Jedi, ranks as one of the most iconic scenes in Star Wars history.

It’s the moment where Vader, arguably the most iconic character within the whole franchise, changes sides. For years he’d worked as Palpatine’s puppet but the sight of his master inflicting such pain and suffering on Luke is what ultimately convinces him to take action, throwing the cackling bad guy down the chute of the Death Star and restoring peace to the galaxy as a result.

1 His Laugh In The Trailer

Disney really, really needs Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker to deliver when it releases later this year. The Last Jedi was good critically but was panned by audiences to such an extent that many viewers stayed away when Solo: A Star Wars Story hit theatres just mere months later. The common consensus among fans at this moment in time is that, if the final movie of the sequel trilogy flops, all three movies will be remembered as one, big, waste of time.

But Palpatine’s laugh heard at the end of The Rise of Skywalker teaser trailer, has got people interested again. That distinctive cackle was so unexpected, but so welcome, that Disney may end up saving the sequel trilogy after all. Only time will tell.

NEXT: Star Wars: 6 Rise of Skywalker Rumours That Could Be Legit (& 4 We Think Aren't)

source https://screenrant.com/rise-of-skywalker-best-palpatine-moments/

[schlemicl]

File obtained: Titled - Shadowing Memories

[ Sorry to the people who use mobile if the Read More doesn’t work! ]

There had been several accounts of people that would visit Saul’s mansion. Mansions, really, and in all the visitations they would look at him with that same glare. A monster, unclean, different and certainly a disgrace to everything that they do. Out could see the slightest raise of their lips when glancing at him, no matter how much he wanted to fight it, he did as Saul demanded and looked away, cowering from them. He was told to be put into submission by the snooty aristocrats and do so with pleasure, but he found none of it to be pleasing. Instead he felt like a trophy put on display for everyone to see. Even the children that would accompany mothers and fathers, looked at him with fear. They'd tremble at the sight of Saul’s monster and it ate at him that he blamed himself. That Saul made him believe that it was his fault they would cry out in fear and hide behind their mothers. He was the monster they were always afraid of in their dreams and a nightmare coming to life was all that Out knew.

Now this visit was no different than the rest. A man and his spouse visiting on terms of service, having to bring along their child with the lack of a good caretaker around. Before they had arrived, Saul gave him a lecture to be on his best behavior or he'll receive more than the “faulting chair.” A place where all his projects are done, and done so on Out. Fear sparked in the Unwanted’s heart and he obliged, hesitantly, to the statement. Being shoved towards the door, his father then snapped at him to allow them in, the doorbell constantly going off. The mother probably allowing the child to ring the sound to their pleasure. It was the annoyance that dare revealed on the monster’s face that earned Out a harsh slap to the face. “Get to it.” He heard the man seethed, before turning his back, heading to the conference room.

Pain shot through his face and dark eyes glared at the man's back, a split second later and Out did the same. Turning to get the door and opening it to reveal a scolding mother and a father who looked highly agitated. GREAT.  Bowing, Out moved to the side so they could enter. “My apologies, sir, for the inconvenience, the master is in the room across the hall, Mr. Sokol is waiting for you there.” He shouldn’t be surprised to feel that burning sensation already, their eyes looking at him, judging the way he appeared and how the puppet acted. Out didn't dare look at them, Saul told him not to make eye contact with the higher class, it would be known as a crime to do such a thing, it could result in his demise if the monster even glanced to see what their expression was. One of the hardest thing to do in Out’s opinion but it also provided some ease, at least he wouldn’t know what they really thought of him. For all he knew they could look upon him with an emotion of hatred but instead it was pity for him and Out would have no clue.

“About bloody time.” Disgust dripped from the woman's lips as she passed ushering her child along. The smells he sensed gripped his heart with a pain even worse than the slap Saul gave. They smelt of freedom from the outside world, one he never got to see and when he did it was only from the glass of a window. Out longed to be there, in the freedom. How a man of twenty five could only dream of such pleasantries and never actually have it. Sometimes in his free time the monster would think on how normal people lived and if it was anything as bad as he had it. So far and yet so close. The books he read gave him images and how it could feel like but they were nothing more than pages. If he could experience it, only for a few hours… His thoughts of freedom vanished with the sound of the door closing. No. He can't, this was his life now. Any thoughts of rebellion could lead to another experiment. Anything could. Shivers ran through Out as he thought of what Saul would do if he found his thoughts. Assuming he'd be dead if the old man could do such a thing. Luckily the only one who could wasn't there. Karnak and her evil witch powers would drive in his brain and dismantle any part of his mind to see anything that would result in the end of her reign as a sorceress. Killing any freedom he could likely have, even imagination was hard to come by in a house of nothing more than hate and manipulation.

The child was reluctant and insisted on staying in the vehicle they had brought, where she could do as she pleased, but the mother ignored and dragged the small girl. He had fallen behind quietly, head low and stood by the door waiting for the conference to start. “Servant!” The usher of his master calling made Out wince, sulking into the room with haste. A bow directed to Saul before he began to speak. “Y-Yes, sir?” Voice stuttering as he went over in his head of what he was to do and not to do when around Saul and his guests. “I need you to take young Emily to a room and watch her.” The father of the dear girl spoke up. “I will not have that thing to look after my daughter. It’s not worthy enough to gaze upon a heiress of house Dunchen.” THAT THING... IT. Out’s shoulders lowered and his head hung slightly lower, he knew that something like this was going to happen, it always did. They all had something common with each and everyone of them. They all saw him as nothing more than a tool. “Please, Mr. Dunchen. I assure you that, my servant is capable enough to take care of a two year old.” The girl who was being talk about merely looked up at her age and giggled, a smile on her lips as her pigtails bobbed about, she seemed happy for the most part. Dark eyes quickly looked back down, hoping that no one saw his staring. “Edward, we don’t need Emily interrupting our conference with Mr. Sokol. I’m sure, that whatever the servant does will be in good health and if it does do something bad that Mr. Sokol would put it in it’s place.” She looked towards Saul wondering if her reassurance was true. “Oh, believe me, ma’am when I say that he’ll be more than put in his place.” That time Out fully cringed, putting his full weight against the wall, already he was imagining what the scientist would do to him next. Maybe he’d go for his smell next… His taste was already gone, his eyes a meaningless color. You might be wondering what more could he do? A lot more, so many plans were hidden in the man’s sleeves that even the monster didn’t know when it would stop.

The man seemed to give in to the mother’s persisting and allowed lady Emily to fall from his lap and onto the floor, there she stumble a bit before walking beside Out, her lips frowning. Though it wasn't uncommon for the servant to see. He couldn’t remember a time when someone actually did smile when he was in the room. Like a plague, they frowned upon him. “Go to the room upstairs from us, do not hurt the dear girl and do everything she says.” Out didn't object but it hurt his pride, having to take orders from the child, someone who was a lot younger than him. If it meant he was further away from the hate they spoke at him, he'd do it. The girl was now ecstatic, running through the door, her loud feet slamming across the tile. She sounded like an elephant, loud and clumsy. Out bowed to the three and excused himself from the room before leaving and walking in the little girl’s trail.

“I don't know…” Out heard Emily mumble from upstairs, taking his time before he saw her. Upon hearing his light footsteps the girl turned around, looking him straight in the eyes. Blood running cold, he quickly snapped his head down once again. ( Why had she done that!? ) Fear trickled into his black eyes at what Emily had done. What she could’ve likely done to him because of such a simple action of eye contact. ( Of course, She didn't know… ) He ushered the little girl into the closest bedroom and closed the door behind him. His heart pounding loud and the rate was only now slowly decreasing. ( Had Saul seen him look at her? ) The hall was silent from the other side of the door, he could hear the small rumble of people talking from downstairs… “Hey what's this thing?” His thoughts were wiped away as he looked up to see the young one holding a -- sword! “My lady.” He stammered, wondering if he had addressed her right, or if his manners were too rude. “I would only advise that you put that down, it could hurt you.” Boots walked across the wood panels to gently take the end from her hand and into his own, putting it back on the mantle where it should've been.

Out noticed her face curled up like she was going to cry and he lowered down to try and calm her. “Please, lady Emily, it's not so bad. I just didn't want you to get hurt… I'm sure when you're older you'll get one of your own.” He didn't look at her but rather her small hands that were balled up in a tiny fist. ( Ask her what she wants to do. ) “Umm. What is it that you would like to do?” Out paused knowing he didn't want to say it but knew he had to. “I am at your disposal.” The girl, now wiping false tears from her eyes, merely giggle. “You're funny!” ( Him? Was she talking about the way he looked? No… ) “T-Thank you, ma’am.” Suddenly he felt tugging at to his legs and took note that she was trying to crawl upward on him. “I don--” Incidentally she had grabbed the area where Saul had experimented and abused last time and he couldn't help but growl in pain, nearly kneeling from the sharp pain that erupted throughout his leg. “Did I do something wrong?” She asked tumbling backwards in a frenzy. “No, no, dear…” He swallowed his anger, “You did nothing wrong at all.” Out was known for his sarcasm but he had tried his best not to let it slip through the sentence. If it had, she didn't show any signs of offense. “Okay, good!” She giggled before grabbing onto his arm, continuing to crawl onto his shoulders. ( What was she doing? ) “Since you’re mine, I want you to take me outside!” His heart twisted, he wasn’t allowed to step foot outside… “Um, my lady, I’m sorry to say but we can’t go outside.” She took a moment to hum before responding. “Then the game room!” ( What was that? ) Out couldn’t remember if Saul ever had such a room and if he did then Out never knew about it. “We can’t do that either with the lack of a room you spoke of, ma’am.” Emily huffed, crossing her arms on his head, he could hear her grumbling about how boring he really was. “Then do something to entertain me.” Entertainment from Out was the worst thing she could’ve asked for, he was no jester and ‘fun’ didn’t come to him easily. Though an idea did come to his mind. When he was looking for a place to calm down after being used, he would always result to music. Even if he had to make it himself, it never failed to keep Out’s head leveled.

“Okay…I've got something for you, ma’am.” Soon the pair left the assigned room and headed for the Unwanted’s. All the way there, Emily kept peering down to look at him. “Did you need something, my lady?” He asked, glancing up towards her now that the two were safely away from prying eyes. The silence was security enough but he knew how children hated it. “No, I was wondering, what do they call you? Is your name servant?” To the young lady’s question he allowed a small ghost of a smile to tug at his lips. She was certainly naive. But that was most little girl’s. “No… My name’s, ummm.” He paused, biting his tongue, knowing she question it further if he told her his alias. “Out.” Suddenly the sound of Emily’s giggling flooded his ears, which were growing hot with embarrassment. “You’ve got a silly name, did your mama really want you to get out?” Puns, oh how he hated when people would make fun of his name by using a play with words. A loud sigh, rumbled his throat and there was a shake of head to bring it to the girl’s attention that she was wrong. “No. Not that. It’s just that I’m an outsider… Out. Unwanted.” Though to his dark words she stopped giggling letting a few minutes pass by. The ornate halls above her head seemed more interesting than why his name was his name. Gold, white and blue colored the halls in the normal LLC mansions. Of course that's all that decorated the halls, making the elegance on the outside hide whatever evil that was on the inside, granted it didn't look evil at all but Out knew of it. He's lived it, several of them lived it. All the servants that Saul has were experimented in someway. Out witnessed their death on occasions when Saul would make an example to him. He watched as they would die, helpless. Teeth clenched tightly, some he even thought were nice. I say, thought because they weren't allowed to speak with one another, if they did it resulted in a beating and Out being one of the ‘higher’ servants, knew to obey his father.

They finally arrived to his room, opening it he saw the familiar overlay of the place. It looked like any other mansion bedroom. A large bed against the wall, a coffee table put towards the end of the room, storage everywhere, a few dressers and his own bathroom. A harp was close to one of his dressers, his destination. Lowering the little girl down, he closed the door and made his way over to the large but beautiful instrument. “What's that?” She asked pointing to the object as he stood beside it. “My lady, this is a harp.” Gently he ran his fingers against the different colored strings, hearing the euphonious sound from the action. Emily’s face lit up and she gazed at him with wonder. He continued to play it. Careful plucking at each string, be it green, blue or red. Each sounding different from the rest. Out could feel his heart slow down, melting to the melody. Each thread thrumming against the flesh of his fingers, in protest they would hum with music. Memory treated him well, taking the time to set a song in his mind and start to play the notes. He could hear her laugh and giggle, most likely watching as he played. Maybe one day she’d be able to use the harp as well, what he would give to see someone play other than himself or the paid people at the parties Saul hosted. The passion etched in their face as they would play… A few minutes passed, playing another song. After that it slowly echoed off, Out looked down to the little girl to see why she had grown so quiet. Her face painted vividly with fear. “What's wrong?” Out asked, concerned for Emily.  The child shook her head and soon he noticed her trembling. The intensity of it made his heart drop. ( What had he done to cause such a reaction? ) Reaching his arm towards her, he then noticed what it was. The whole limb was a constant dripping of black goo and looked like he was literally melting, but oddly enough it only affected his left side. Out could feel the coldness of the black taint, crawling up his cheek but stopping before it could affect his eye. His eyebrows were raised in a expression of worry and fear. He didn’t know what was happening.

Suddenly an ear piercing scream erupted from Emily’s lips as she hurriedly crawl on top of his bed in an attempt to get away from the monster. He was confused, he's never had this happen before… this was too new. WHAT HAD SAUL DONE TO HIM? Another cry came from Emily and soon he could remember his master's words. ‘He’ll be more than put in his place.’ “Please, my lady, calm down.” ( How could he calm a little girl down let alone himself? ) Out was equally shaking, what was happening to him that allowed this? The once lowered heart rate was now through the ceiling. His black eyes widened with fear, Out didn’t know what to do, but he still insisted for the young girl to breathe. It wasn’t working, tears brimmed her eyes, curling up against the pillows. Her head pulled back yelling. “MONSTER!!! MOMMY, DADDY HELP!” Out snarled, cursing himself for being so stupid to think that even for a few minutes that a child could actually like him. No one did and Emily was right, he was a monster. “Please, please, Emily. Don’t.” He cried making his way closer to her, a normal hand raised to show her he was still him. “My lady, I beg.” Out didn’t want to be experimented on, his fear growing until he was petrified. He shook horribly, crawling even closer to her. “LEAVE ME ALONE!”

Thump. Thump. Thump. He froze, mouth running dry, and the only movement he made was from the black taint that fell from his arm and the trembling he still held clearly. The Unwanted knew that taking care of lady Emily was a bad idea… and now he was going to pay for it. “Emily? Emily!” He heard the distress in the mother’s voice before the bedroom door opened with three angered people. Out’s heart dropped to his stomach at the sight of Saul’s angry blue eyes, blazing with nothing more than hate. “I-I… I can expl--” The father stormed past the older man and straight to Out. The creature cowered, but it didn’t help. Soon the young male was raised up in anger and slammed against the wall. “What did you do to her?” Mr. Dunchen growled seethingly. He was too scared to answer and the response to his question only a shake of his head. “Answer me!” “I did-didn’t d-do anything, s-sir.” He felt the release on his dress shirt drop to only be replaced with a hard fist against his face. Pain erupted all across his cheek and Out leaned against the wall. His eyes nearly rolling to the back of his head at the impact. A groan left the shaking man, but he did nothing to fight back.

“Alright, Edward that’s enough. It’s not our servant to punish.” The fading words of a mother left false lips, his head spun and there was something ringing. Gaining his posture, Out lowered to a small bow. “My apologies, sir… I didn’t mean to.” ( Was that a smug look in his black eyes? ) Though the man didn’t care to see. Emily was now held in the mother’s arms, who trying to calm the crying child. Saul called another servant to send them on their way and soon it was only Out and him. “What did you do to me?” The Unwanted cried, striding towards his father. His confidence growing with the anger he had for the old man “What did you do?” Out’s tone only increased, fear, fury and hate pooling dripping from his mouth. His only response was a harsh slap to the face, adding the pain from the punch Edward had given him. “I did what I wanted to. Project ‘Voidwalker’ is coming together quite well and you, my son, you’re the main event for it. A few tests were run on you while you slept. Now shut up and listen carefully, boy.” Agony was put to the list of emotions he felt. ( While…. He slept. Even sleeping wasn’t safe. ) Suddenly there was a sharp pain in his shoulder and Out turned to see a syringe deep into his flesh, empty. “Wait, please. No father, don’t!” Though his words were in vain, the effects of whatever Saul put into the needle already playing on Out. Visions of horrid memories passed through his mind, fires of burning a mansion, a cry from a young child and worst of all seeing nothing but blank faces in what would be his family’s. There was an endless void and he couldn’t remember any details on them… nothing, they were dead.

“For your rude and cruel behavior, I’m going to give you something you’ll always remember me by and I do hope that you’ve learned a lesson, son.” Saul growled, before grabbing Out by the wrists and dragging him away from his room, a trail of black goo following every footstep. Each step making his head lower until he was under the influence of a deep sleep. Having no idea what Sokol was going to do with him, until he wanted his puppet to wake up and feel the pain he desired to see in Out’s eyes.

[minseologs]

pinocchio

tw// heavy violent themes, substance abuse, death 

Fake it ‘till you make it. A saying that one must say if they’re trying to achieve something unrealistic in their own means of a dream for motivation. To Minseo, it simply means going along with her family’s beliefs while still maintaining a subtle rebellious thought against them. 

It worked for a while, until she started questioning who she really was.

~ 

My expressions and attitude lack transparency, Nobody sees through my fake attitude. I’m used to lying. Where has my innocence gone?

“What, you think we’re scared because you have money? We all have money. That’s why you’re top of the class again.” the hand of her senior classmate pushes her, another two by her side in support. Minseo wasn’t quite sure how she got in this situation, but she knew it was bad. “Yah- Choi Minseo, why are you like this? Are you a puppet? Because you’re weak. That’s what you are. You’re nothing compared to us so just say you cheated on the test.” A short stifle of laugh was heard, ticking off this girl. They question her once again, a more aggressive push that Minseo was sent to the ground. 

This wasn’t the first time she was ever bullied for any sense at all. She was an easy target for this school’s bully as she never fought back, never said anything wrong to anyone, and always kept to herself. She was a model student, good grades and participated in extracurricular activities. When Hyeseo was on this ladder, it was expected of the younger Choi that she must be the same but it wasn’t the case. She was labeled timid and unlike any of the cunning family members. 

Years of pent up anger and bottled emotions have built up to this. This damn school. The damn money-eating higher ups. She stands up, wiping her skirt of the dirt from the ground. And with that her hand punches her square in the face. The girls were stunned, it was now 3 against one if you can count her to stand up after that. Hair was pulled, bodies were kicked. One can tell Minseo was losing, but she didn’t give up. Her hands grappled whoever was the closest, kicking them in the stomach, and another one to the other just to keep them at bay to focus on the senior bully. Because the moment she could get an upper hand, she wasted no time to pour her frustration to that girl. She sat on her stomach, the punches to her face left and right. The finale was herself shaking her down to the ground multiple times, and blood had pooled around them that it pulled her back to her senses, but she had the strong urge to actually go on.

Did I kill her?

A forming smirk had plastered on her lips, leaning down at the barely responsive person under her as the other girls were too afraid to fight off this once used to be a weak one. “I see you mess with anyone in this school again, I will do this shit again to you. Tell all of the adults for all I care, because who will they believe? Worry about your self and stay out of my way, you bitch.” 

She walks away with the feeling of adrenaline on her veins, her hands were bruised, cut-- and trails of blood had gotten on her. It looked like she was the one who was beaten up at the point she was found by the family chauffeur. Of course she wasn’t let off easy. But because of her family background, they could make amends and ensure everyone’s name was out of anyone’s speculations. She was placed under private watch, with after school community work. Her father wasn’t mad, in fact, he was a bit proud her own daughter could fight back. Minseo was disgusted at the thought she was encouraged. Since then, everyone respected her. As her name buzzes around this incident, maybe it was fear that prevented her from forming genuine friendships.

But she couldn’t stop thinking about how it felt. The power. The fear of the other. It was almost as if she wanted to do it again. Or wont hesitate to do it again. 

~ 

My black lies beyond my white smile. I pretend as if it’s the truth, as if I’m sincere. I conceal the truth even deeper inside me. I might lose the real me.

She was smiling quite well, an arm on her father as the pictures are taken of yet another publicity stunt for the family’s future endeavors with the locals. As soon as they have left, it was back to the spite they’ve carried to one another. Silence brought over the ride other than the usual work reports. They live in the same house, yet it was just wind that carried them along if it wasn’t the small talks and obeying orders. They had just finished another deal in what they disguised as a charity event. 

“That’s why they call it charity.” her eyes go over at the housemaid she had befriended, another one before they quit the family, to say the least. “If money truly never made anyone happy, why would they do charities?”

“Ma’am, I think it’s because it’s in the goodness of their hearts.” her voice responds carefully, which catches her eye. The maid was careful to lay out the clothes she will wear for the after-event meeting, it was a custom to ensure everyone is still in the same page. “You do charities to give back or give the less fortunate the chance to be able to have something that’s considered nothing to you, but a luxury to them.”

Minseo felt a sense of comfort to her words, because she too, felt this. Everything she had done for the good of the family was because she wanted to make up things she couldn’t as far as her family’s irreversible doings other than the sole purpose of giving back. Everything was a privilege. 

“...Ma’am, I am sure your family means well.”

“No... No they don’t.”

~ 

The after-event meeting took place at another rich man’s place, one who conducted many illegal transports of drugs to the country. Her father was acquired because they do the same deeds except it was firearms not accessible to most. They made a deal for a couple months about exchanging links in other countries as the drugs are being transported within the firearm transports. It works out well for everyone. The charity event was to cover up public records, in which this case is that they are disguised as building materials for a future arts building somewhere. Minseo was one of the appointed finance seers, hence her presence in the meeting. 

Anywhere you look, the grandeur was present. It was vulgar, too. Many people having their own highs with strangers, the orgies are all because of what was in their system-- the rest want nothing but to be left in their alcohol streaks. The place smelled so much of everything that she cannot pinpoint what it was. Her father and the said man were shaking hands near by, of a new partnership, as she bids herself to the side and gets ready for the meeting in a hallway, away from all the things she hated to see. 

Minseo was minding her own business to the side until she is called, but was interrupted of her silence when a man at the end of the hallway, suddenly collapses. She calmly investigates as she had assumed this person was probably having an overdose, and she was right. The closer she got, the man was frothing up his mouth, his cries of help slowly dissipate as his nose bled. As she loomed over the body’s demise, they made eye contact briefly and that’s when she knew.

“....Seo... Minse...o...” he calls out. It was the son of a family friend. They were strong in the agriculture side of the country. “h..help..” 

Expressionless, she doesn’t move. She watches this man die in front of her. Unfortunately, no one can know this place, everyone knew that including this man. She doesn’t call for help either because anyone in this place were their own responsibility. They know the temptation that can get you, so if you got greedy, you’re on your own. Minseo’s only thought is what public announcement the family would make of his overdose. She reaches out to close his eyes, before walking away from the scene

Deep down, she wished she could’ve done something. Anything. 

~

Standing between love and business, I don’t even know my real intentions. My unconsciousness is like poison to me. My craving for innocence strangles me.

“You’re kidding me.” She looks at her assistant, sighing in disbelief that they added another day for her monthly Japan meetings. “It’s been two days, they can handle the rest.”

“I am so sorry ma’am. But your sister’s presence was requested in Shanghai so she can’t make it to Tokyo for one day.” 

She rolls her eyes, sighing again to express her frustrations. She dismisses everyone and gets on her phone for a video chat, dialing the home phone where a soft voice picks up. Her son, Jinwoo.

“Mommy!!!~~~ Are you on your way back?” that sweet, sweet call. There was not a day that she misses her son. The one to give her a sunny day on her worst. “Mommy! Are you bringing chocolate jellies?” 

“Yes my love... I am.” She smiles through the phone, though a bit sad to deliver the news. “But mommy has to stay another day... Auntie Hyeseo can’t cover her stuff for tomorrow so I have to handle it.”

At home, Jinwoo was surrounded with the housemaids. For safety and to prevent loneliness. Though his mother tries to be there for him all the time, the child still feels disappointed waiting another day for her to come back. He had always hated her ‘plane rides’ because it would mean she would be gone longer. He pouts, and Minseo pouts too.

The call went on for hours, he tells her about his day, and so does she. They shared a bond that always made Minseo forget everything she had done terribly of her life, and that everything was okay. It was the best thing that ever happen to her despite of their circumstance as a family. Even if it’s like this, she made sure Jinwoo receives all the love he deserves, and more.

~ 

Her reflection was so... so. Minseo had been in deep thought of her life, a crisis as one can say. She stares at the mirror with regret, fear, disappointment. Her thoughts invade the pondering on her face. Who are you? Why are you here? Which side did you choose? 

Her thought was interrupted by a knock on the door, a housemaid preparing what she will wear for the gala. The gala where a money-laundering scheme was built on. The intentions are genuine, but her father had held her by her throat to use it as an excuse to hide his crimes. She looks at her reflection, her brows furrow and her eyes tear up. But it was a split second and she sits up straight then smiles. 

It was just a smile. Just a smile. 

~

Real intentions hidden under a smiling mask. My gaze has gone cold. The lies I tell you expressionless. I’m used to this. 

I’m used to this

I’m used to this.