#what's the point of getting a taco if you don't want the taco meat? just get a salad or smth like fdafaasfgaqf 😂

[yeslordmyking]

Ordered a chalupa from Taco Bell with lettuce and tomato only.

And that's what I got, lettuce and tomato ONLY, they didn't put any meat in it!

I'm blaming the vegans for this one 😂

[underworld-park-offical]

TWEEK: Okay

TWEEK: You

TWEEK: Mister

TWEEK: Tinfoil

TWEEK: Hat

TWEEK: Guy

KENNY: Stan

TWEEK:  What

KENNY: His names Stan

TWEEK: Okay

TWEEK: Cool

TWEEK: I'm not gonna remember that

TWEEK: You said you had

TWEEK: Like

TWEEK: A bunker

TWEEK: Right?

STAN: Yeah

CRAIG: Dog shit covered ahhh barn 💀

TWEEK: Why is he saying Skull emoji out loud

TOLKIEN: Not even WE know at this point

KYLE: We gotta get him to stop that

KYLE: It's more annoying than KYLE: ….Whatever….. Stan's got going on

CRAIG: Omg not you slandering me 💀

CRAIG: Don't even rn you look like the Goodwill shat you out

KYLE: Fuck you

KYLE: You know that Supreme hoodie isn't even real Supreme, right?

CRAIG: Lmao what

CRAIG: Me when I lie

KYLE: Nonononono

KYLE: Look look look

KYLE: It says “Souprem”

KYLE: It's fake merch dude

KYLE: Its as fake as those fucking yeezys

CRAIG: ….

KYLE: …Dude?

CRAIG: No that's my other hoodie

KYLE: Are you fucking serious

KYLE: You aren't even rich stop acting like you are

CRAIG: Nuh uh

KYLE: FUCK YOU MEAN NUH UH????

TOLKIEN: Kyle, just give it up

TOLKIEN: Trying to convince Craig he isn't rich is like trying to convince a toddler to wipe their own ass

TOLKIEN: It's not worth it

CLYDE: …. CLYDE: Why do I feel like that was directed towards me?

TOLKIEN: Because It was, Clyde

CLYDE: OH COME ON I WASH MY OWN ASS

TOLKIEN: NO THE FUCK YOU DO NOT YOU SMELL LIKE A TACO BELL CLYDE: FUCK YOU CLYDE: AT LEAST TWEEK LIKES ME TOLKIEN: OH SURE SURE SURE TOLKIEN: TWEEK DOESN'T ACTUALLY LIKE YOU TOLKIEN: THERE'S NO WAY SOMEONE LIKE TWEEK WOULD BE STUPID ENOUGH TO GO AFTER YOU, YOU FUCKING TESTOSTERONE FUELED SHITSTAN

CLYDE: THANK YOU FOR ACKNOWLEDGING I'M TRANS BUT FUCK YOU FOR INSULTING ME

TOLKIEN: YOU’RE VERY WELCOME, FUCK YOU TOO

CLYDE: YOU KNOW WHAT?? I BET YOU 30 BUCKS I CAN PULL IN TWEEK WITH MY MANLY AWESOMENESS

TOLKIEN: I BET YOU A MILLION DOLLARS YOU CAN'T

CLYDE: FINE

TOLKIEN: FINE

CLYDE: LETS FUCKING GO

CLYDE: I'LL ASK OUT TWEEK AND IT'LL BE THE MOST ROMANTIC THING EVER

STAN: Hmmm

STAN: At my barn we could like

STAN: Use my dad and my sister

STAN: As like

STAN: Food

KYLE: Dude no

KYLE: I am not resorting to cannibalism

CARTMAN: Kahl, you’ve eaten animals, that's basically like eating people

KYLE: Okay mr “forty big macs in one day”

CARTMAN: Uhm, actually they're vegan chicken patties KYLE

CARTMAN: ALSO did you just ASSUME my GENDER????

CARTMAN: YOU ARE GETTING C A N C E L L E D

CARTMAN: I WANT A TEAR RIDDEN UKELELE FILLED APOLOGY RIGHT NOW

KYLE: Oh my GODDDDD

KENNY: Actually studies show that most human meat is similar taste wise to chicken

CRAIG: I thought it was pork

CRAIG: Like

CRAIG: Deadass

CRAIG: Like pigs

CRAIG: Like deadass pigs

KENNY: We know what pork is CRAIG 

STAN: Yeah

STAN: So we’re fucking set

CARTMAN: Uhhh no thanks, i’d rather be one with the animals and eat dirt and hay

STAN: We don't even have animals

CARTMAN: I’ll just eat the weed then

STAN: What

KENNY: What

KYLE: What

CRAIG: LMAOOOOOOO IM DEADDDDDDD 💀 💀 💀 

CARTMAN: What???

CARTMAN: It's like eating catnip

CARTMAN: Besides its environmentally friendly

STAN: What's your source

CARTMAN: Wikipedia

STAN: Ooooof course it is

STAN: The internets lying to you, you know

CARTMAN: Fuck off, Stan, Queermo

STAN: IM TELLING THE TRUTH HERE

TWEEK: HhhhuGiyhvfdeiohjd

TWEEK: OKay

TWEEK: Cool

TWEEK: We’re set on a TOTALLY ANONYMOUS LOCATION

TWEEK: Awesome

TWEEK: Great

TWEEK: Dandy even!

TWEEK: Everyone

TWEEK: Lets hold hands

CRAIG: I am not touching Clydes fucking shitstained hands

TWEEK: Fine

TWEEK: I’ll hold Clyde's hand

TOLKIEN: Why do you wanna touch Clydes hands thats fucking nasty

CRAIG: For real

CRAIG: Preach 🙏🙏🙏

TWEEK: I don't care

TWEEK: It's just for a bit TWEEK: I can wash my own hands afterwards

CRAIG: EWWWW FAGS

CLYDE: Aww… really?? :D

TWEEK: Fine

TWEEK: Sure

TWEEK: Whatever

CLYDE: Nobody other than Tolkien has wanted to hold my hand before! :DD

TOLKIEN: Was that before or after I figured out you don't wash your hands

TWEEK: Who else is fine with

TWEEK: Touching Clyde

CRAIG: Stop making me have gay thoughts, Playboi Carti

TWEEK: What

TWEEK: I don't

TWEEK: I'm not

TWEEK: Just

TWEEK: Hold hands

TWEEK: You all have socks on

TWEEK: I think

TWEEK: So it's not gay

CARTMAN: Uhm erm erm erm

CARTMAN: Actually

CARTMAN: That's a homophobic statement

TWEEK: CRAIG SAID A FUCKING SLUR?????????

TWEEK: WHAT???????

TWEEK: IM TWEEK: HUH TWEEK: WHAT TWEEK: OKAY

TWEEK: JUST TWEEK: JUST HOLD HANDS TWEEK: STOP MAKING THIS HARDER FOR ME

CLYDE: Wow

CLYDE: I forgot CLYDE: What holding hands felt like

KYLE: Woah

KYLE: This reminds me of the first episode of My Little Pony

KYLE: Where

KYLE: Twilight and her friends

KYLE: Find the friendship trinkets or whatever

KYLE: And they reverse the curse on them that turns them into stone

KYLE: And they used them to like

KYLE: Defeat Nightmare Moon

KYLE: Turning her back into Princess Luna

KENNY: That was so fucking gay

KENNY: I feel like I'm gonna vomit rainbows because of you

CARTMAN: Kenny stop being homophobic

CARTMAN: I will cancel you again

KENNY: Fuck off I know that blue hair you wear online is a wig

CARTMAN: BITCH-

TWEEK: SHUT UP

TWEEK: ALL OF YOU TWEEK: MY SATAN

TWEEK: CAN YOU ALL GO LIKE TWEEK: TWO MINUTES WITHOUT FIGHTING AND OR DEGRADING EACH OTHER

KENNY: ….

CARTMAN: …. KYLE: …..

LITERALLY EVERYONE: …..

CRAIG: Slllaaa-

TOLKIEN: Dont

TOLKIEN: Just

TOLKIEN: Do not

TOLKIEN: Actually, you’ve lost speaking privileges

CRAIG: 😡

TWEEK: Alright

TWEEK: Is

TWEEK: Is everyone holding hands

CRAIG: yeah its like Kumbaya frfr

TOLKIEN: Stop talking

TWEEK: Okay

TWEEK: Alakazam

TWEEK: Alakazane

TWEEK: Im sending you off this mortal plane

KYLE: Wait wha-

CRAIG: Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe!

KENNY: Yoooo

CRAIG: Like and Share! Like and Share! Like and Share!

TOLKIEN: Haaaaa

TOLKIEN: What

TOLKIEN: Was that

TWEEK: Magic Trick

TOLKIEN: What

TWEEK: Hey you have a lot of free time when you live in a dumpster

CRAIG: Copy link! Copy link! Copy link! Copy link! Copy link! Copy link!

TOLKIEN: Whatever, please for the sake of our brain cells, never do that again

KENNY: I dunno

KENNY: I thought that was pretty cool

CRAIG: Kombucha? I LLLOOOVVVEEE KOMBUCHA! Kombucha? I LOVE KOMBUCHA Kombucha? I LOVE KOMBUCHA Kombucha? I LOVE KOMBUCHA

TWEEK: Alright

TWEEK: Humans

TWEEK: Freaks

TWEEK: Whatever your names are

TWEEK: Get in the fucking barn

TWEEK: Now, quoting the safety psas from Estella,

TWEEK: Don't open the door for strangers, Don’t investigate any random noises, don't take any offers from strange men in white vans, don't help anyone, if anyone says they're friends of your parents do not trust them

TWEEK: And for goodness sake,

TWEEK: USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM

CRAIG: I'm addicted to Takis! I'm addicted to Takis! I'm addicted to Takis! I'm addicted to Takis!

STAN: One, what are we, five?

STAN: Second

STAN: It's a backup bunker, not  a barn

TWEEK: WHATEVER! JUST- GET IN

TWEEK: DO YOU WANNA LIVE OR NOT????

STAN: No

TWEEK: …

STAN: …

TWEEK: ….

STAN: ….

TWEEK: ….

TWEEK: O….

TWEEK: Kay…..

TWEEK: Just…..

TWEEK: Get in the barn

STAN: Fineeeee

STAN: Whatever

STAN: Fuck you

CRAIG: [ Gotta sleep in fucking pig shit this sucks fuck this ]

CLYDE: Hey

CLYDE: Hey CLYDE: Hey Tweek

TWEEK: Arrrghhh…What….

CLYDE: Do

CLYDE: Do you

CLYDE: Do you think

CLYDE: Do you think we CLYDE: Do you

CLYDE: Do you think we could

CLYDE: Maybe

CLYDE: Like

CLYDE: Go to like

CLYDE: Dennys

CLYDE: After this???

TWEEK: Whats

TWEEK: What's Dennys?

CLYDE: Oh

CLYDE: Uh

CLYDE: Maybe we could like

CLYDE: Go to Olive Garden then?

TWEEK: What

TWEEK: What's an olive?

TWEEK: And

TWEEK: And what's a Garden?

CLYDE: …

CLYDE: Oh you poor

CLYDE: Sweet

CLYDE: Summer child

CLYDE: You know what

CLYDE: I'm gonna take you to the Olive Garden

CLYDE: And you're gonna have the time of your fucking life

TWEEK: Uh

TWEEK: O

TWEEK: OKAY?????

CLYDE: Alright

CLYDE: I’ll see you there babe

TWEEK: Uh

TWEEK: UHHH

TWEEK: WHAT

TWEEK: DID YOU JUST CALL ME BABE TWEEK: WHAT???

TOLKIEN: Don’t fall for that shit

TOLKIEN: He doesn't wash his hands

TOLKIEN: Or his ass

TWEEK: Why's that relevant?

TOLKIEN: IT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING?????

TWEEK: CHILL OUT IT'S NOT THAT BAD

TOLKIEN: YES IT IS??????

TWEEK: …Whatevs

TOLKIEN: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS????

(edits made by @pissblanket)

[minicy]

Really resent my culture's relationship to food. Food as a commodity, as something to be grown not to be eaten but to be sold overseas and to rot uneaten in fields and behind grocery stores. Food as a comfort, one of few things you get to actually choose and indulge in, and the least healthy choices are the ones that are easiest to buy and consume. Food as a point of control, you can't buy food if you don't sell at least so many hours of life to the Machine, and then what you do get as someone at the bottom of the hierarchy is dictated by others- paternal lawmaking, or arbitrary restrictions, or food given that is unpalatable or outside of your culture or that you don't know how to prepare. Food as a product, what you want is what we have paid for you to want, the food choices you make dictate your marketable lifestyle, the things you eat and drink show your allegiances and your subculture and your sub-subculture, you must eat this much to enter.

Food as a tool for shame is one of the worst offenders. You shouldn't have eaten those things, you should eat this thing instead, why aren't you doing what you're supposed to? You listened to those advertisements and ate what we designed to be as delicious and consumable as possible? You're disgusting. Why won't you eat what you're given? You're ungrateful. Why would you have that carb? Sorry, why would you eat that meat? Sorry, why would you eat anything besides meat? Then, food as a punishment: you must eat the unpleasant thing in unpleasant ways, or else you are irresponsible and deserving of great cruelty. Or, you must not eat anything, or else you are weak willed and deserving of great cruelty. Or, you need to get better, since eating disorders are a feminine problem, a mental health problem, a physical health problem, and being unhealthy is immoral, and unhealthy people are deserving of great cruelty. Why can't you just be normal? By the way, your entire workplace is going keto this month. Your friend is intermittent fasting. Your parents are back on Weight Watchers. Why can't you just be normal?

Then, the way white supremacy permeates it all. Different is disgusting, new is untrustworthy, flavor is unhealthy. I feel like I've been so much better since I started clean eating. That MSG gave me migraines. No, I don't mean from chips, those are fine, I mean from all the stuff they put in Chinese food. Not sure if I want to go in on some tacos, my stomach can't handle it, haha. You know that fried food is always unhealthy, right? And unhealthy is always immoral. Did you eat your vegetables today? Oh, no, of course curry doesn't count. Those vegetables were seasoned and cooked. Processed vegetables don't count. You should have a salad with that, then. You should try this quinoa salad I made. You should really be using agave instead. You should really try out this cleanse.

Food as an entitlement, too, for those with the power in this culture. Violence waged over tropical fruit. Panic over access to anything wanted at any time being interrupted, not even halted. A lack of willingness to change even the smallest amount of their diet when they find out it's killing our planet to farm this many steer, or catch this many fish (and their habitats and the bycatch), because I want steak god damnit, it's a free country!

We're sold poison for our binges and diets for our purges. Our options are growing slimmer, as time is stolen and markets are shuttered and prices continue to go up while packages continue to shrink. Health is kept behind paywalls and sickness is moralized. And somehow, you're the one who's wrong if you don't buy in.

[greatcheshire]

i think you've alluded a few times to the weird food situation you had in your upbringing, so i was wondering if you ever talked at length about that? if not, would you be comfortable saying like, what the heck was up with it? if not thats totally fine, i know it's probably a tough subject, but i will admit i am intrigued.

I believe I've talked about it before, but probably through scattered posts and what not, so I don't mind explaining it! If anything just so I have something to link to when people ask lol

CW: abuse I guess? Idk if this counts for abuse or not but just for safety's sake

Basically I wasn't really exposed to a lot of food as a young child. Like I was a picky eater at a young age, which isn't that unique, but my mom wouldn't pressure me to step out of my comfort zone at all and try anything else (vegetables, bread, most food) and instead resort to whatever I already liked. By the time I was five, this had evolved into my mom rarely, if ever, cooking anything for me and my sister, with her often just getting me fast food nuggets or me having to cook whatever a five year old could easily make and would want to make (aka a lot of microwave pizzas, dinosaur nuggets, hot dogs, and mozzarella sticks. She would give me Twinkies for breakfast, though, as they were "a source of bread so they're healthy"). As a result of this, even if I did want to try new foods, I was often unable to, as they weren't in the house or not something I could easily prep or understand myself.

This evolved once again around the time I was in middle school when my mom had me placed on a very restrictive diet in order to present a legal case for the court regarding my custody, treatment, and physical and mental health. She worked with my doctor at the time to put me on a diet where the only restriction was I couldn't eat anything over 7% saturated fat, which quickly showed to be a flawed system, as it meant I could eat as many cookies as I wanted but wasn't allowed a single yogurt cup. As part of this diet, my mom basically refused to buy any food for me that wasn't cinnamon rolls or Ritz crackers dipped in ranch dressing. So for a few years, so long as I was at my mom's, I was eating either cinnamon rolls or Ritz with ranch for three meals a day, minus the days I could sneak out and secretly use money to buy myself lunch somewhere. I remember one time she had me take a glucose test (where you have to fast and then get your blood drawn every hour for, like, 8 hours) and refused to get me anything real to eat afterwards so I chugged a few Vitamin Waters and ate Ritz crackers with ranch dressing in the hopes that it would help the woozy feeling that comes with having so much blood drawn after fasting.

When I was 14 my mom died and I was now living with my dad full time and at this point my palate began to expand, mainly due to my stepmom encouraging/pressuring me to try things that weren't just chicken tenders, cheese sticks, hot dogs, or pizza. However, I wasn't fully out of the clear yet, as my dad is also a picky, meat and potatoes kinda guy. So while I was trying more and more foods, it was a lot of stuff like pork chops or ribs or brisket or steak. Still good things to try! But not a lot of variety, especially for a family that doesn't eat non-American foods except for Taco Bell and doesn't keep fruits or vegetables in the house. Furthermore, I also had the point where despite being a teenager, being kept away from so much food for so long made me sort of averse to even breaking that barrier. Why try bread at this point when I'm 15 and know that I don't like it? What if I have it and it's gross? What if I finally do try lettuce and it makes me sick? Even when I did try things, a lot of it tasted so differently from what my tastebuds were used to that it was hard to learn to actually like it. This is something I still struggle with, to be honest: how to determine if I actually don't like the taste of something or if's just a new taste I've never experienced before.

It would kinda stay stagnant like this until I was 19, just finishing up my first year in college and about to go into my second. And as we all know, college is the time for discovery and experimentation, which in this case meant trying bread. I don't know why I started branching out into more foods then. I think I had just gotten so tired of eating the same thing every day, especially now that I was on my own in a dorm, that I wanted to at least try some new things, especially if I had a dining hall I could just grab things from. I still didn't explore THAT much, if I'm being honest with myself, but from that point on, at least I started to eat bread and burgers and sandwiches and wasn't totally adverse to the idea anymore.

My food exploration kinda slowed down in my later years in college, mainly because I didn't have the dining hall plan anymore and was low on cash and, well, when you have so little money, you're going to stick with safe food choices because if you spend $10 on a new dish and you hate it, well, guess you're out of dinner money now. But thankfully this year, through friends and travel and my own volition, I've started trying more and more things, trying to adapt to a "I'll try whatever" mentality (unless it has nuts in it because wow I hate nuts so much). It took a while, and I'm still learning and dealing with things, but I've come to realize that I don't need to fear food anymore, and now that I have my own place with my own income, I can purchase and try whatever I want to and don't have to worry about any outside pressure one way or the other. It's been a struggle. But it's getting better.

I hope that clears things up! I'm sure there's probably still questions and maybe this doesn't make sense at all but I hope fills in some gaps, at the very least.

[crash-bump-bring-the-whump]

Taco Soup

Okay this isn't whump but @whump-captain wanted my taco soup recipe so here it is. It's a one pot dish, and it'll feed either three hungry guys for a few days or all my very spice intolerant coworkers for one luncheon if I go easy on the spice

Ingredients: -3 cans of whatever beans you like, go nuts, add more, it's your soup. Maybe go low sodium tho -minced garlic, you know how much you like, measure with your heart, I usually do like 5 cloves -2-3 taco seasoning packets (or cumin, chili powder, onion powder, pepper, garlic salt to taste) -2 bags of frozen bell peppers and onions (or fresh) -jalepenos from a jar if you want em or some other spicier pepper -cooking vinegar OR the juice from your jarred peppers OR tabasco, you just want acidity towards the end if it doesn't taste salty enough or seems like it's Missing Something -lime juice -A good box of chicken or veg stock/broth or like ten boullion cubes. However you make your broth is fine, just make however much you want (we add the broth last, so you can wait and eyeball it. This soup cannot be overcooked, I promise) -Cooked chicken if you want it, I use canned or leftover baked chicken but it's not necessary -Butter or some other fat -if you like it on your tacos, add it tbh. Corn? Fuck yeah. Tomatoes? Sure why not. Live your soup dreams.

OKAY SO HERE'S WHAT YOU DO: -Heat up the pot you'll be souping in to medium-high, throw in the butter/fat and let that melt -Then add the (ideally thawed but it doesn't really matter here if you don't have the energy) onions and bell peppers in. Let that get all soft and translucent then add the garlic. -Let that get all warm and aromatic for about thirty seconds to a minute, then if you're crazy and want to cook the peppers do that at this point, then add anything else you want that'll be warm and in the soup. -Add in your meat if you want it in here, it should be cooked already so we're just making the flavors mingle -Add your beans, don't bother draining them. -Add the taco seasoning, mix it in -Add your broth. -Let it simmer like ten minutes, adjust the seasoning as it does and add your lime juice and any other little dashes you want, follow your nose.

It's pretty much done since everything is fully cooked, it's just a matter of warming and seasoning it at this point. You can make it as thick or thin as you want, serve it over rice or anything else that makes you happy, add sour cream or salsa or avocado or guac, if it sounds good on a taco then do it!

[seokjinsonlyone]

if bts were american and ate our fast food, where do u think they would eat at

i love this question so much it is just out of the box enough for me omg mind u i'm an east coast girlie so ion know nun bout dat in and out or whatever else they got on the west side

haters gon say it's fake but jimin would 100% main popeyes like catch him getting a 3pc chicken combo dark meat only 🤪 and he'd drizzle honey and hot sauce on the chicken either that or the 5 pc strips with the sweet heat sauce if he's feeling a sense of childlike wonder every other month he goes through a weeklong spicy chicken sandwich phase always drinks sweet tea exclusively

jin would swear by chickfila and i can't blame him! like the consistency is always there in the food and the service and that's just what he needs in life like my man has high standards and they just don't disappoint when it comes to the food i can see him getting the grilled chicken club sandwich with a side salad as his go to meal, the regular deluxe sandwich when he's feeling indulgent, and the 30ct nugget when he's feeling ravenous. whenever there's a seasonal shake he has to try it at least once otherwise it's him and the diet lemonade against the world

joonie is giving cookout like there's just so much variety if he want a burger they got it, barbecue they got it, chicken quesadilla, hot dog, corn dog, chili cheese fries, just.... all his wants and needs would be at cookout and when he's feeling a sweet treat??? boom they got the best milkshakes in town. i think his go to meal would be a big double burger tray with a chicken wrap and onion rings for the sides and he got to have cheerwine for the drink mhm iktr

it pains me to say it but i can really see tae up at 2am getting a deluxe cravings box from taco bell like i personally can't stand taco bell it just ain't for me like don't get me wrong there's been times when i worked overnight and it was bought for me so i ate it but i wouldn't choose it but i think tae would 😭🙏 like it's more convenient than chipotle bc it's open later and has a drive through so it's conducive with his lifestyle so that's where he's at in the parking lot at 2:30 with a crunchwrap supreme a doritos locos taco and a baja blast sigh

jungkook would LOVE wawa like i don't think you understand how many times i've imagined going to wawa with jk especially after seeing his camping vlog and there was one point where he was eating a sandwich and he was like if he could eat any food for the rest of his life it'd be a sandwich and it was at that moment that i knew me him and wawa would be written in the stars like catch us at 11pm getting an italian sub some takis and a blueberry pomegranate smoothie

suga would def be at wendy's like i don't think y'all understand how much i love the wendy's app like she has never steered me wrong she is there for me when it's midnight and me and my friends have no place to go we be in dat parking lot fr 😭🤞 and bc yoongi is my twin flame my best friend he would feel the same like it's better than mcdonald's and the way you can rack up rewards points like nobody's business like it's an economical choice it just makes sense i can see him getting the double stack biggie bag with spicy chicken nuggets and a diet coke to drink

i had to think hard for hobi bc i'm like he so boujee these days with his steak and truffles that i couldn't imagine him getting trash food with the commoners but with a little brainpower i placed him directly in zaxby's like you cannot tell me he wouldn't love him some zaxby's sweet teriyaki boneless wings with some fries and that slice of bread they put in the box on the side with a sprite to drink of course yeah that would do it for him every time

i really don't think you understand how much i loved this question like imma be thinking about this scenario for the rest of the week sodfjakjdl

[turtlemagnum]

some facts about me and restaurants:

i always order my drinks without ice because drink almost always comes out cold anyways and now i get more drink per drink and i dont have to worry about my drink getting watered down because of the ice melting

because of this, i couldn't tell you how many times the server brought me with ice anyways and i had to be like "hey, this has ice. dont-wait no, dont take it back, just dont put ice in the refill ok"

i really dont like wasting food, hence why i'm very adamant about them not just dumping the first drink. the rare times i don't finish something and dont bring it home are like when the burger at that chain steakhouse made me puke. pretty much anything less than "literally made me puke" at least gets brought home so at worst, i can remake it to be more edible

back to drinks: i generally dont use straws. a while back i realized that as far as actual restaurant cups go, straws dont really do anything other than add another thing to throw out and just generally slowing down my sippage. from what i understand this is different for physically disabled people, but given how (as far as i'm aware) i'm not physically disabled, i can just lift the cup just fine. this does not apply to things like fast food cups, like you ever break a straw when using one of those? i swear they're designed to be as inconvenient to drink out of without a straw as possible, the mcdonalds one the last time i tried had this little lip on the brim that felt like it was specifically designed to spill shit when drunk without a straw

if it's a place i've been to enough times to know what the menu is right off the top of my head, i usually know exactly what i want before i even sit down. the local bar i'm a regular at, the owner lady who takes my orders when shes there; she knows my order by heart at this point. honestly got a little uncomfortable with how much shit she gave me when i got something else that one time, even if it was joking (i'm pretty sure, anyways)

probably my most controversial opinion: i like my meat well done. crispy, even. the other day i got food with my grandparents and the sausage they gave me tasted about as close to uncooked as you could get while still technically being fully cooked, was wretched. when it comes to burgers and steak, i can definitely tolerate medium or rare stuff, dont get me wrong. i feel like what's probably the Objectively Correct stance to have is that some meats are better suited to some styles of preperation, and that's fine. but honestly when it's done poorly, rare/medium beef tastes like a wet goddamn sock. wretched

so, something about me: despite being whiter than a significant amount of white supremacists, i can handle my spice pretty well. to put this into perspective, my mom's last boyfriend was black (and therefore more used to actually seasoned food), and we got chicken from a local place and i heard him from the other room go "hoo! that's hot!" in a fairly exasperated tone, and while i definitely think the place actually knew how to season their goddamn food it wasn't like, loudly exclaim how spicy it was levels of spice, y'know? at least to me. anyways, this sucks for me because i live in the midwest, where an arguable majority of places don't season for shit, probably because a significant amount of their customer base are like my grandma who eats tacos without seasoning. not fuckin making that up. like it was just cooked ground beef with like, maybe a miniscule amount of salt, put into these nasty ass tortilla bowl things with a texture and taste not too dissimilar to plastic. i remember this one time i asked a place what kinda seasoning they used in their fish, and they just straight up said "none". god i hated that restaurant, it was like if you distilled all of the worst qualities of suburbanite wasps into a physical space

my default food i get at most places is definitely a burger. it's at least partially because it's generally hard to fuck up to the point of inedibility, but also because most places around here don't make any fried chicken at all other than tenders and That's Like My Main Thing, Bro. sometimes i get pizza, which is somehow more common than fried chicken but also i fucking hate noodles for the most part so it's pretty much the only edible thing for me to get at italian restaurants. the exception to not liking noodles is in wonton soup, but ever since the chinese place we always went to closed down we haven't been able to find a place that's nearly as good.

finally, back to drinks. my specific drink of choice tends to change over the years but stay pretty consistent over any given period of time. i've been a mtn dew typea gamer for the past few years but i've been liking cherry coke more and more, which was my favorite circa 2016 or so. i definitely feel like i'm being a bit more mixed about it, though. recently i've been drinking a fair bit of water simply due to the fact that the only other shit in the house is this diet root beer that my grandpa always gets because it's on sale and he insists on buying diet shit. and like, it's objectively good tasting, it's still fucking root beer which i've never tasted actually bad root beer. it's just that he buys so much of it for extended periods of time that i'm so sick of it that i'm probably not gonna be able to drink root beer in any significanf quantities for at least a few years. but yeah i definitely feel like i can get behind any kind of pop. my fallback is standard coke because that's something literally everywhere has, and while there's definitely a tangible difference in taste between coke and pepsi i wouldn't say one's better or worse than another. my preference lays in RC cola anyways, which i've literally never seen served in any restaurant but god dammit it's so fucking good, dude

[eyeballcommander]

@bishop-percival

(Previous) Bishop Percival smiled wide and swayed his legs. “I’m looking forward to that too.” He then glanced up at Lord Hater. “Oh, do tell. Are ya gonna bring out any obstacles? Meat tenderizers, flamethrowers, flying tigers? Oh, oh! Don't tell me actually, I want it to be a surprise!” Meanwhile, the priestess Miriam approached the pile of fried acolytes. She was looking for a good excuse to return to the Glornch. The last thing she wanted to do was go to a loud, chaotic fighting arena with this bunch. They were only in the hallway and were already giving her a headache. She scooped up Sam and slung them over her shoulder, and did the same with Thomas over her other shoulder. She then promptly turned around and left without saying a word.

"Heh," Peepers whispered to Percy with a sly smile. "Masochist."

Hater didn't hear Peepers being a little shit. Not that he knew what that word meant anyways. "I'm just gonna throw you both in the pit. Peepers sold the flying tigers anyways."

"For the last time I rented them because you said you wanted ones just like Emperor Awesome's! How much better could you ge-!"

"THEY'RE EMPEROR AWESOME'S!?!?"

"Well..." Peepers crossed his arms with a scoff. "They were until they succumbed to a diet of burgers, tacos, and alcohol..."

"So cool..."

"No! It's stupid! See, this is why I was against you get-"

Hater crossed his arms which, coincidentally, put Percy right above Peepers and sternly stared into his eye.

"Annnyways..," Peepers lilted as he stepped back with his hands innocently held behind his back. "May I go grab my weapons? And a coffee?"

"Only if you get me popcorn. And make it snappy!"

"Yes sir! Now..." Peepers glanced at that wannabe prophet before turning towards his followers. "You already know what I can do. So it's only fair that someone tells me about you."

"Eeny, meeny, miny, moe," he said as he pointed at a different one with each word. "Catch a tiger by the-"

"Don't bring up tigers."

"Catch a wizard by the toe. If he hollers end his-

[spxcemuses]

Anonymous asked: yeah you may be a billion dollar company jack but you pay your employees MINIMUM WAGE. only 7 dollars an hour. literally NOBODY can make it in life with that amount of salary. In-N-Out gives THEIR employees 17-22 dollars an hour. You're just a greedy, egotistical ASSHOLE with your frozen beef and mystery meat tacos. Why are you so angry? That I'm calling you out on your bullcrap? That I'm exposing the truth? Does the truth offend you? Go ahead and throw me out I fucking dare you. (becomes a 20 foot tall monster)

[ Random Ask ] | No Longer Accepting (for this anon)

" Actually it varies. It starts out at $7.25, but I pay up to $18 an hour depending on what position one is in, so you're wrong there. I know that times have changed and the cost of living's gone up, so I've been more generous. However, it seems your beef with me hasn't. "

He sighs softly, a hand going back to his hip as he stares at you. Jack really wanted to know why you were being so slanderous to him, what issues you had. This scenario almost reminded Jack of the Brad Haley incident years ago, and he was mentally repeating to himself not to start a fight. His tone sounds more stern, almost like he was gritting his teeth.

" I'm angry because you're spreading blatant lies about me and my restaurant chain! What's your problem, huh? Do you work at that mascotless dump or what? Because to me, it sounds like you're bitter at how successful I am! "

Jack looks up in awe when you transform into a 20-foot monster, rightfully scared but still staying in place. The ceiling of one of his establishments is now destroyed, leaving a giant hole in the building and rubble scattered about. Some people who were there are now terrified, causing mild commotion in the background. He steps back with a frustrated sigh, looking up to you. This was honestly weird, and he's seen some weird things in his lifetime.

" What the-?! Alright! If I can't get security to kick you out, I'm giving you the chance to let yourself out because I'm not dealing with this. Now go! Don't come back here if you're going to give me grief about how I do things! "

He points to the exit, frowning. It is a little irritating that he has to practically shout to make you hear him, but he is going to make his point clear.

" Also you're paying for this hole in my building! I'll sue you if you don't! "

[chicagosfinest2021]

My followers don't ask me anything so I'll just answer some stuff on my own LOL

1:Virgin? No but I might as well be at this point LOL Actually sometimes I wish I was a virgin. . .

2:Shoe size 9.5 Too short for my feet to be so big IMO. . .

3:Do you smoke? Just meats

4:Do you drink? Casually/socially

5:Do you take drugs? Does melatonin count?

6:Age you get mistaken for Early to mid 20's

7:Have tattoos? No

8:Want any tattoos? No, I like my chocolate brown skin the way it is :-)

9:Got any piercings? Just my ears

10:Want any piercings? MIght do my navel later

11:Best friend? My slightly younger sister <3

12:Relationship status Perpetually single

13:Biggest turn ons Money going into my bank account

14:Biggest turn offs Money leaving my bank account

15:Favorite movie It was Bend It Like Beckham but Wakanda Forever is a close 2nd (only because the former came out first)

16:I’ll love you if YOU FEED ME!!

17:Someone you miss My maternal grandmother (RIP)

18:Most traumatic experience Being SA'ed by different men

19:A fact about your personality I'm a social introvert; I'll hang out around people for a few hours and have a good time as long as I can get 3-4 days to myself afterwards to recuperate/recharge

20:What I hate most about myself I procrastinate too freaking much

21:What I love most about myself I'm thicc AF!!

22:What I want to be when I get older The single, rich, fun auntie

23:My relationship with my sibling(s) Me and my full sister are basically twins and our souls are tied together, living in different states has taken a toll on us mentally. We have a younger half sister whom we didn't know about until about 10 years ago. We love her but the circumstances behind her birth makes our relationship more tricky and we're not as close.

24:My relationship with my parent(s) They are my life. I'm a mommy's girl and a daddy's girl

25:My idea of a perfect date I honestly don't have one

26:My biggest pet peeves Unnecessary noise. Like right now my neighbors keep slamming the door that leads to the stairway right next to my unit because they refuse to gently shut the door like they've got some sense

27:A description of the girl/boy I like Other than celebrity crushes, I don't like anyone right now haha

28:A description of the person I dislike the most Can't think of anyone specific right now

29:A reason I’ve lied to a friend I love my best friend but she and I have very different lifestyles and philosophies about life, I won't necessary lie to her but I'll keep my mouth shut about certain things just to keep the peace between us (and it isn't easy).

30:What I hate the most about work/school I actually like what I do for the most part, but more money would always be a plus obviously

31:What your last text message says "We're sorry, your order from Taco Bell was cancelled. . ."

32:What words upset me the most Actions tend to hurt me harder than words do

33:What words make me feel the best about myself "You can't be fixed because you were never broken in the first place"

34:What I find attractive in women Emotional intelligence

35:What I find attractive in men Emotional intelligence

36:Where I would like to live If I couldn't continue to live in the Chicago area I'd like to live in Northern Europe, someplace where it's cold most of the year haha

37:One of my insecurities My stomach isn't flat :-(

38:My childhood career choice I think I shifted back and forth between a piano player and a writer.

39:My favorite ice cream flavor I actually don't eat ice cream a lot but I've heard good things about rum raisin. . .

40:Who wish I could be I actually like being myself, it's pretty dope

41:Where I want to be right now I want to be at my parents house with my parents, my sister and her daughter my niece, laughing, talking and listening to music

42:The last thing I ate A McGriddle from McDonalds LOL

43:Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately Cross between Letitia Wright and Tenoch Huerta Mejia (Alex Livinalli as a runner up)

44:A random fact about anything England is a constitutional monarchy and only their parliament can make the laws , the royal family has no real power or purpose and actually costs the country money.

[rainyfestivalsweets]

11/8/22 wt 254.

Had a great start yesterday but got stuck when my boss sent me and URGENT request as I was trying to take my lunch break.

I ended up going to lunch over an hour late by the time I left. I was super super starving/ ravenous, and I ended up eating more than I had planned.

I made croxk pot taco meat with:

one pound of ground beef

2 cans of rotel

some onions

bag of broccoli slaw

taco seasoning

I added the broccoli slaw because: I'm going to be the only one eating it!

As such I can add whatever I want!

Broccoli slaw makes it more volumous for a significantly lower calorie count than using 2 pounds of ground beef. I obviously don't mind veggies at all.

That was good!

I had 4 little tacos with the little Mr. Carb tortilla taco shells, I had a taco bowl that I used as dip with some quest protein chips, so that was all good.

Then my sister called and we were visiting. THIS IS WHERE I WENT AWRY.

I plowed through a fiber one brownie or 2, a fiber 1 cookie, some kodiak bear Graham crackers and cool whip.

(Sigh)

It was just kind of a free-for-all; I don't even know what happened.

Went over my lunch talking with my sister by an hour or so.

My next meal was a snack pack from Walmart. Pretty good-it was A little turkey stick, a cheese stick, some carrots and some broccoli with ranch.

I took my tea with me to my meeting.

Went to dinner for one of the persons birthdays. I was really looking forward to this dinner but I overate. I had way more chips and salsa than I needed and I was very nervous/stress eating. Ugg.

I am trying really hard to make some new friends, or more close friends. I realize that the loss of my close friendship with the gal who is now living with my ex wife left a big hole. (Like she was my best younger friend and we would do a lot of stuff together, Including dinners, concerts and weekends away).

I'm scared that I have left myself in a social wasteland. *IF* my relationship with my girlfriend ends, I will be absolutely socially devastated.

I visited with my other best friend on the phone after raising home from dinner. I had told her about the weight regain --going from 243 now backup to 252-257.

She took a beat and asked "What can I do," and it broke my heart.

The thing is: I don't know.

I don't know what YOU can do; I don't know what I was doing that was making me so successful in the 1st place! I've been at this for so MFN long--I've been exercising for so long, I've been dieting for so LONG!

What was the magic key that helped me drop that weight earlier this year????

Yes I understand that not drinking alcohol anymore is probably part of it.

I am continuing to not drink until I lose more weight.

I don't know what else is part of the mix.

I do not want to regain this weight.

I actually need to physically lose probably another 50, 70, 100 pounds, Depending on what my muscle mass is. (Not really worried about it until I get closer to the finish line, to see where my muscle mass is at that point-- but I mean I could be done in 50 to 60 pounds if I have enough muscle mass)

That brings me to today and the stupid things that I do while I'm at work.

I ordered a dr Westin's weight loss bundle which I am currently now regretting.

I literally purchased it like less than an hour ago, and I am deep on the REGERTS stage.

It looked good but then I went into the "how to eat guide" and it's basically all the things that I try to stop doing over a year ago.

Low carb, fasting & lots of supplementation.

It looks like you need to order so many more supplements than what actually comes in the weight loss bundle. It was already over $200!!! AND I didn't get to apply my coupon, so that was 20% that I didn't expect to spend. Would have been $40. Saved.

Yes, so yeah stupid things I do. UGGGGHHH.

But here's some things I did figure out this morning: I can probably take twice as much glucomanan as I have been taking, or close to it.

it looks like up to 9 g a day is shown to be clinically safe.

I need to buy more of that stuff.

What else?

I am eating the plainest meal I've had in a while.

3 eggs and some egg whites.

My eggs didn't have any hardly any egg whites! I added egg whites--so I have no idea how much this meal is so, it's anywhere from 210 to 300 calories. I'm guessing!

I didn't measure the egg whites; I just added them to the Pan.

( I am still working so I am trying to get fed while I'm still at work because I need to go vote today).

So that's where I am today:

No morning workout.

1/2 hour earlier to work

Shopping regrets

Plain ass eggs.

[blkkizzat]

Hey! Indian reader here again, I'm glad you're having a great time here!!

I remember going to Agra on a trip a couple years back. Taj Mehl was amazing to see. And the history behind it is quite interesting. It was supposed to be a gift from the King of Agra to his queen though I don't remember much of the history. One part I do remember (though it's very gruesome yet romantic in a weird way) is that the king ordered that the hands of all the artisans and anyone who worked on the site would be cut off so that they wouldn't be able to create something like the palace again 😭

One tip I have is that you make sure you're not overpaying for the stuff you buy here, considering people WILL overcharge you when they realize you're a tourist. And to wear clothing which covers you up in public because short clothes are usually looked down upon here and for your own safety too depending on where you are 💔

Other than that I also recommend buying spices to take back with you if you're into spicy food!! Indian spices are extremely flavorful and vast in variety but quite expensive in other countries

Hey!! I just got back! It was an amazing trip! Your country is so beautiful. The air quality in some cities was tearing my allergies up but other than that and trying to cross the street when there isnt a traffic light in sight, I had such a great time! I never thought I could be a vegetarian but so much good non meat curries and other options there. I liked Indian food before going but loved all the new dishes I tried too! Although I don't think I will ever find a Dal Makhani or Chana Masala as good as I did at The 1944 Hocco Kitchen in Ahmedabad here in the states. I didn't even like the Dal I had on the trip up until that point it was so rich, smooth and buttery (they cooked theirs for 36hrs). Also getting to try traditional Gujarati cuisine was awesome!

The Dhokla was so good with the chutneys they'd give us as snacks. Plus I thought Japan had the best service, India takes it to a new level! I never been to restaurants where waiters are literally sprinting to your table to make sure you dont serve yourself. I only wanted a bit more curry once but I felt so bad this waiter almost tripped rushing over to me I let him put on two more scoops! Also feels like I'm back home and my grandma is making my plates cause if they see a dish nearly done and that you finished yours they will just scoop the rest into your plate. Even the fast food places (omg the paneer burger and aloo tiki burger at mcdonalds and butter chicken chalupa at taco bell were to DIE for) were far superior to what we have here and they have much more sustainable practices. I swear I gained 5lbs from all the food lmfao!! I'm used to eating either one meal or two small ones a day and my program was feeding us 3 full meals so I had to skip some at times LOL it was too much food!!

The traffic is WILD in India but its so cool to see. I don't think I would ever get used to crossing the street without feeling like I was gonna die though lmfaooo. Also omg being able to Uber a Tuk Tuk was awesome! Although there was a few times me and my friends thought we would see the pearly gates lmfaoooo. I heard that about the Taj artisans too! The tour guide we had was so knowledgable (he was a former pharmacist who went back to school to learn medival indian history as he wanted to be a tour guide instead). He told us it was because after his favored wife died (I think he said it was because she was the only one to give him children successfully) he lost his mind a bit and was locked away by one of his sons after building the Taj (Very sad too as all his sons fought and all but one survived to take over the throne). Oh yes, haha our tour consultant who travelled with us the entire time would haggle for us if we wanted something. He would actually give us a range then tell us to walk down the block then he would start haggling lol. Loved him so much, he really looked out for us!

But omg yeah I noticed that people dress pretty modestly which is wild to me considering how hot it is there but they are used to it but I was dying haha. It was 100 degrees and people were in jackets and jean pants lol. Thankfully I brought long cotton and linen dresses and skirts and was able to buy some flowly loose linen pants and brought lots of electrolyte packets. But even in the hotel (we stayed at the 5 star Hyatt Regency in Ahemedabad) that was pretty internationally catered (omg the best pasta outside of italy I swear I was so surprised haha) there were Indian men intensely staring at me and my friend wearing tight leggings to breakfast even though they came down to our ankles and we had a long sleeve shirt on too. I got on the elevator to run back up to my room for something I forgot and these guys on the elevator were so creepy. They didnt say anything but I could feel them glaring down my back. I'm glad we knew better than to wear them outside but I thought it be okay just in the hotel. That didn't sour my experience though I did meet a lot of very nice and respectful Indian men as well. Two of them (who were pretty cute tbh) helped me with my luggage on the elevator as I was leaving since I had to buy an entire new luggage for all the stuff I bought lol. Yes!! While in Delhi we went to the spice market. We took a cycle rickshaw there. We went to a tourist spice shop there though cause they seal it up well for travel and actually have premixed spice packets you can buy which makes it easier (although im sure much more expensive). I bought a ton of spices and teas haha spent like 20k rupees there lmfaooo. Mostly went so ham there cause my mom used to live in India (her 3rd husband was Indian) and she wanted me to bring her back alot of teas and spices. I got her like 4 different kinds of chai. I'm kinda sad we left right before Holi!!!! I always wanted to experience Holi!!! But since its today (or yesterday lol) and today is the first day of classes back our school had to make sure we were back for classes.

Here’s some more pics!

[yuna-writes]

Intuition seems like a useless skill

I've been thinking what's the point of having intuition when most people are sensory and value sensory things versus speculating about theories, concepts or dive into abstract thinking? The sensors have a point, it just doesn't seem practical. Yet, there are people who are more intuitive then being a sensor.

I wish I was a sensor so I can relate to experiences with other sensors and don't have to analyze and form concepts or theories based on the patterns I'm noticing. Whenever I come to a conclusion, the sensors just look at me like a crazy person so...yeah, I don't really like being an intuitive person because the world itself has tons of sensory elements but I get stressed by the input. Therefore, I need to analyze it to make sense of the information.

To some degree, people have a combination of sensory skills and intuition but I lean heavily in being an intuitive person. Therefore, whenever someone forces me to pay attention to details, I get pretty stressed out. It's odd, because I'm pretty sure both sensors and intuitive are gathering information, but how they deduct the information is different. It's kind of like whenever I'm in the cafeteria, I know the types of food they'll have on the menu. It's sort of like knowing there will have tacos on Tuesdays, Italian food on Wednesdays, and Asian food on Thursday. I see the pattern because it occurs every week, but I might not remember details about the food such as whether the meat was beef or chicken. Or I can't remember the chef's name or the people there.

Usually sensors are very good at picking up those details. They know the details of the food, the chef's name and people they had lunch with. But they might not really pick up the patterns that the same type of food is on the menu every week or create any speculation or theory as to why it was set up that way. My brain is hardwired to take patterns and form theories to explain why events occurred. So I would deduct it to a possibility that the same food is presented in the menu every week because the cafeteria staff wants to save money. I feel like sensors don't really care so much about this type of thinking, because they just want facts pertaining to the present moment and not so much an explanation to the patterns. I think most sensors have a hard time understanding me and I guess I get frustrated with sensors because they focus too much on the details and expect me to be the same way.

In the end though, is the theory really important? I'm not sure either. Information is only valuable to the individual who finds it important. Theories do seem impractical, because it might not accurately reflect reality. It's just a close estimate to what reality could be based on limited information. I understand maybe sensors are not fully onboard because they don't want to mistakenly come to a conclusion and then make other people feel uncomfortable if they missed certain information. But I also think they need to make some assumptions based on limited information because not every single experience is going to be detailed or accurate. I think about many different possibilities, sceneries and theories, but I do have a hard time just experiencing things and being present which is important to make sure your insights matches what's occurring in reality.

Another example is you are either going to be two type of person: you either believe in cash or you believe in Bitcoin lol. In terms of cash, I think sensors would value it more because it's tangible. You can feel the money on your hand, and you see other people who value money in its physical form. Bitcoin is a theory based on the idea of a decentralized monetary system. I'm pretty sure whoever invented Bitcoin is an intuitive person. The person saw the patterns of how money is losing value during inflation and the recession. Then this person took the theory and found a solution to solve the problem. However, Bitcoin don't exist in the physical realm so many sensors have a hard time understanding the value because they can't see it or touch it. They can't understand it if they don't understand the theory. Once they understand the theory, then they can see the practical use cases for a digital currency.

My relatives are mostly sensors and they would always make fun of me for being slow or not paying attention to my surroundings. But recently they were surprised that I understood Bitcoin way before it became popular. I got into nearing 2016 when no one cared about it. I actually took the time to understand the theory and it made sense to me at that time. I think true sensors would have a hard time grasping this concept and won't dive much deeper into it. Over time, I realize my relatives don't really understand me as much, because they are mostly sensors and want to believe in something tangible.

[poly-eats]

Cantina Laredo

River: Last night, Jon and I went on a date! And that means it's time for some good food. Tonight's restaurant of choice was Cantina Laredo at the Mall of America, a self-described "Taste of Modern Mexico." Their dinner menu, which includes things like soups, tapas, tacos, fajitas, and enchilladas, as well as lots of fruity drinks, tequilas, and mezcals, seemed interesting and, despite me having been to the Mall many times before and passing by this very restaurant, I'd never tried it until now, so we thought it was perfect for a post-Spencer's-shopping-trip date idea.

When we got there, it was relatively quiet, though it was a Wednesday night, so that wasn't too weird. We got sat at a table in the corner with very pretty appetizer plates! Actually, the whole restaurant was decorated very nicely, with a classy, dark wood theme throughout and some woven baskets and other wall-hangings to give it some flair.

Our first dish was a classic tortilla chips and dip. I forgot to ask what was in it, as I like it very much, but if I had to take a guess, I'd say there were some kind of beans, chilies, cilantro and maybe some garlic in it.

This dish however, was where we ran into a main problem with the restaurant that was absolutely no fault of theirs. For those of you who do not know, there are some people with a gene that makes cilantro taste not like the yummy staple of Mexican cooking that it is, but more like getting your mouth washed out with a bar of soap, and, unfortunately, Jon has been cursed with this trait. That would have been fine, had we actually remembered to ask our waiter for no cilantro on things. So unfortunately, a large chunk of Jon's night was spent picking cilantro off of his food, and this dip, which I liked very much, was kinda off-limits to him, unfortunately. Again, I want to stress that it's no fault of the restaurant, we just forgot to make them aware of this.

Dragon Fruit Fresca

River: Anyway, Jon's going to tell you about the drink he got! I usually don't get anything since I'm the designated driver between us, but I get to have small sips of whatever cocktail he tries. In this case, it was the Dragon Fruit Fresca, a mix of Casamigos Blanco Tequila, Monin Dragon Fruit Syrup, fresh lime juice, and Fever-Tree Sparkling Grapefruit, for a price of $15.

Jon: Good drink! Much Fruit! Now, back to River with the food.

River: T...that's your whole review? Maybe I shouldn't make you be designated driver and I review drinks instead...

Jon: Okay, okay... In all seriousness, the drink was tasty, and the alcohol wasn't very noticeable (most alcohol tastes like how rubbing alcohol smells to me). I was a little disappointed by the amount, as the glass was mostly filled with ice, and that's a little sad for $15

River: I would agree, the lime masked the bite of the tequila well, which allowed it to be a smooth, tropical drink. I tend to not like lime as much, so it wasn't exactly my kind of drink, but I think that it was well-put-together and, had I liked lime more, I think I would have maybe stolen this one from him.

Anyway, as he said, onto the food!

Chicken Nachos

River: The first dish we ordered was the nachos, and, full disclosure, this was a lot more fancy than I thought it would be, since I was expecting something like the greasy pile of chips, cheese, meat, and other toppings in a basket that I served at my last job. Being on the tapas section of the menu, however, it makes sense that they would be more bite-sized and more refined. These had three options; one for $9.50 with no meat, one with grilled chicken (which we got) for $15, and the most expensive option at $17, which included fire-charred skirt steak.

I was pretty happy with the grilled chicken ones. They had a layer of refried beans hidden under the melted cheese that I didn't even notice until Jon pointed it out to me which added some nice flavor, and on top there was a nicely-seasoned slice of chicken, some refreshing diced tomatoes, and, of course, Jon's nemesis, cilantro. They also came with scoops of sour cream, guacamole, and some sliced jalapeños. I especially liked them with the sour cream, and they were a nice starter, and I got to take some home with me for lunch today! I'm also a bit of a "good plating" nerd, so the construction of this dish made my brain very happy.

Jon: As mentioned prior, I have a genetic bias against anything with cilantro (which sucks, as I now cannot call myself a true human trashcan who will eat anything put in front of me), but despite this (and a few minutes of picking off the cilantro), they were pretty good! My only real complaint is the amount we got for the price (I'm stingy by nature, though, so take that with a grain of salt).

Chicken Enchiladas with Beans and Rice

River: Just recently at work I got introduced to the magic that is creamy poblano enchilada sauce, as we made a version for our customers, so when I saw that the menu had, as they describe it, "Pulled chicken enchiladas, monterey jack, with sour cream poblano sauce," I knew I had to try it.

As you can see, I got the option with two enchiladas for $13 (you can get a third for another $3), which isn't bad based on just how much food there was on the plate. I don't know if this picture really does it justice, but a problem (or a bonus, depending on how you look at it) that we had were that all of our plates were enormous, especially Jon's, which you'll see in a bit. We ended up taking home two full takeout boxes, so really, it's like you're getting two dinner's worth of food for the price of one. In terms of taste, the enchiladas were very smooth and rich, and not overly-soggy. The sauce was mild but flavorful, and my only complaint would be that I was struggling to pick it up cleanly with my fork, which made it a bit messy (though that could be just an enchilada thing in general).

The rice is fairly good, it wasn't mind-blowing, but it was definitely better than my attempts at making mexican rice at home. It was subtley tomato-y without being too overpowering, and was a nice side dish. The beans, however, were very good, and I guess I've just never had good refried beans before, because I've always pictured them as being soggy and gritty, but these ones were neither. They were smooth and were topped with cheese, and went very well on our leftover tortilla chips. Overall, I would absolutely get this again, and I'll probably have the leftovers for lunch.

Grilled Steak Fajita Burrito

Jon: I can actually rate this one fairly, as the cilantro was only a garnish!

The rice was pretty good! I personally prefer my rice to stick, but overall, pretty good rice! The beans were pretty good refried beans, I just wish it had a bit more mozzarella (What can I say, I'm a whore for cheese). The main dish, the Steak Fajita Burrito, however, was an honest shocker. I was expecting something similar to what you would probably make at home, just with fancier ingredients. What I wasn't expecting was a monster of a burrito, slathered in a delicious cheese sauce with a wonderful kick of spiciness inside. And it was no slouch with the steak either, the whole thing was packed with it! I would have eaten it all if I wasn't told to save some space for dessert (I am eating the leftovers as I type this, it's even good cold).

My only issue is that, when ordering it, you have to specify that you want the burrito, NOT the fajita. The menu has this placed under the 'Burrito' section, with its name being 'Grilled Steak Fajita,' and there's also a fajita section with steak fajitas. Everything in the burrito section has fajita in the name, so be sure to specify, so as to not confuse the waiter!

Overall, with the sides and the massive size of it, definitely worth the $17 price!

Flan

River: Finally, we had one of my favourite desserts that I have to get every time I see it on a menu, flan! For those who don't know, it's a mexican caramel custard dessert, and the texture is a mix of jell-o and egg tart filling. I am a huge texture person and a lot of the way I experience and enjoy food is by how it feels in my mouth, and flan always feels so soft and luscious, it's great. This version was no exception to that high praise, and at just $8, I'd definitely get it again!

Jon: I had never had Flan before, so I was pretty excited with how much River had been hyping it up! The texture was nice and smooth, and it tasted pretty good! It's not my favorite dessert by a longshot, but i'll happily eat it again!

In Conclusion...

River: I'd say this is a fantastic restaurant with good food and reasonable prices. We spent about $90 there including a tip, and I think that's good given that it was a fun date and with the amount of leftovers we got out of it. I'd absolutely come back here again to try some more food, such as the Sopa de Tortilla ($6.50 cup/$10 bowl), the Pescado Tacos ($14.50 for 2/$16 for 3), the Carne Asada ($25), or the other yummy-sounding desserts like the Mexican Apple Pie or Mango Tres Leches (both $8.50). I'd definitely recommend it to someone who has a taste for quality mexican food that's a bit higher-end, or just anyone who likes flan like me.

Jon: I agree! Although I say some of it is a bit overpriced (Over a dollar per nacho!!), the food is good enough to warrant many return visits in the future! Will definitely have to try the 'Cancun' next time I'm there!

[regalityandcoffee]

...I deadass don't know what to call this its another Young Mox thing enjoy

@feralmox pspspspspsp have fun

Jon Moxley wasn't necessarily a bad cook. He Knew how to clean meat, season stuff.

However, he had no fucking clue how to caramelize anything. Normally it wouldn't matter but tonight it was pissing him off. He was already getting dizzy from the heat from the stove (Maybe he shouldn't have started cooking in his hoodie? Oh, well.), and almost burned the chicken he had cut up. Nicked his hands a few times doing the peppers and had to stop and put on a couple bandaids.

He had no idea if you'd be pissed at him or not when you got home. He doubt it, even though he was supposed to be sleeping, since this was his day off and he just got his shit rocked in the ring the night before. It didn't matter if he won or not (which he did), you still always wanted him to rest up.

But it never felt right. Jon hated having days off when you didn't, and knowing you were stuck at your work while he got to watch bad prank shows all day felt weird. So here he was, in this hot-ass kitchen in boxers and a hoodie (that he didn't steal from you for once) trying to make chicken tacos. The meat was already done, and there was a can of diced tomatoes getting chilly in the fridge, now he just had to finish doing... something to the onions.

Anything at this point. He supposed crispy would have to do. He dumped them in the bowl with the (slightly burned) peppers, wrapped them up, and put everything in the fridge. He did the dishes with the gloves you bought, because the feeling of grease on his hands was absolute hell, then crashed back on the couch.

After some soda and some chips he laid down, flipping through channels. He shut his eyes for a bit after trying and failing to pay attention to the news, he jolted awake at the sound of the doorknob jiggling.

"Jon, I'm h-oh! Hi babe!"

"Hi," he yawned, stretching his arms above his head.

"Aw," you sat your bag down and got on top resting your head on his chest. "Did I wake you up?"

"Nah." He rubbed your back, breathing in the scent of your hair.

"It smells good in here- did you cook?"

"Yeah."

"Chicken tacos?"

"Yeah, the tortillas are on the counter 'cause I figured you'd want to cook them yourself or-" a tug at the strings of his hoodie shut him up, you pulling yourself up a bit to kiss his cheek.

"You're too good to me, Jonny. Just let me take a shower first and I'll heat us some up on the stove okay?"

" Okay."

He watched you get up and get half way down the hall before looking back at him. "You wanna go in with me?"

"Yeah." He did kind of smell like onions.

Besides, maybe he'd work up a bigger appetite in there with you.

-fin-

[erimeows]

Hey, what about some professional chef S/O, like Ramsey level but a bit less of a terror. Like, for some weird reason bots and cons can, temporally, consume human food and their S/O offers them to show them the endless wonders and finese that is human cousine. What would their S/O make for them, asuming they accept the offer, and what would be their reactions? Who would be mindblow and love it? Being able to consume only energon/oil and having no other source of food sounds quite depressing...

Ooh, this sounds fun! I don't talk about this often, but I have a headcanon that the TFA bots can consume human food while in their earth vehicle/robot modes- I just don't include it in pieces I write because I don't want to get ten comments around the lines of "well, ACTUALLY, they can only ingest ENERGON and OIL", ya feel? Anyways, this'll be a fun one; TFA Characters With A Chef S/O Who Wants To Cook For Them headcanons are under the cut! Enjoy <3

Optimus Prime: He’s happy to try your food because it’s something you love making. He’s really into things that are either extremely sour or extremely salty; french fries, pickled vegetables, sour candies, green beans, etc.

Ratchet: He’s reluctant at first, insistent that it can’t be good for him to ingest food he’s not technically meant to ingest, but with enough convincing from the others, he finally tries it. His personal favorites are tacos, burritos, rice, and vegetable bowls. 

Prowl: He tries your cooking because it’s a sweet offer and it’ll be nice to partake in something that you’ve become passionate about to make your career. His favorite foods end up being soba noodles, rice, and stir fry made with veggies and no meat- he just likes the texture and doesn’t like meat at all... He also just feels bad consuming animals, too.

Bumblebee: He’s been wanting to try human food since he got to earth, so hell yeah he’s excited about trying your food! His favorites are things like breakfast foods; pancakes, eggs, waffles, bacon, toast, and more. 

Bulkhead: He’s too embarrassed to ask you to cook for him but wants to try human food pretty bad after Bee raves about it, so he’s glad that you’re the one to make the offer. He ends up being really into meat and basically meat only; burgers, steaks, chicken, pork chops, bacon, sausage, etc. Oddly enough, though, he also loves vegetable substitutes for meat like cauliflower steak and veggie burgers.

Jazz: One of the first things he wants to do when he gets to earth is try human food, so when he finds out you’re a chef, he’s like... It’s meant to be! Amazing! You make a lot of food for him to try, and his favorites end up being seafood like shrimp, lobster, and crab with different preparation techniques and flavoring. He’s not super into actual fish, though.

Sentinel Prime: At first, he insists that organic food must be disgusting, but then he smells you cooking it one day and he’s hooked. He’s one of those people who hyperfixates on like two foods and doesn’t want anything else, so all he wants is bread, but on the bright side, he’ll eat any kind of bread; his favorite are white bread rolls with butter, freshly rolled out, baked in the oven, and piping hot.

Ultra Magnus: He doesn’t get the point, but he’s old and has pretty much stopped caring so he’ll try anything once. He actually ends up being a huge fan of your cooking and wants it all the time, but doesn’t want to bother you by asking, so you always have to be the one to offer. His favorite things for you to make are steak, chicken, grilled corn, and mashed potatoes.

Megatron: He initiates you cooking for him because he gets tired of the same energon and oil he has on earth and doesn’t have access to the flavorings he usually has on Cybertron for it. He knows he needs to eat/drink something different or he’s going to go insane. He ends up being more into fruit and fruit dishes than anything, popping grapes like pills and craving smoothies, salads, etc. His favorite things that you make are fruit-centered desserts or any savory dish made with wine.

Starscream: He acts like he doesn’t want it at first, but the second you act like you’re going to listen and not cook for him, he changes his mind. He ends up being more into sugary human drinks than human food, though, enjoying your cooking because you made it and you’re special to him but ultimately preferring smoothies, sodas, juices, snow cones, flavored water, and milkshakes. 

Blitzwing: The different personalities have different feelings about you cooking for them and them ingesting human food. Blitzwing thinks it’s pointless and a waste of perfectly good human food since he has energon for himself, Hothead is excited at the thought but won’t admit it, and Random is HYPE. 2/3 majority vote wins and you end up making different foods for them to try. Icy likes ice cream, Hothead likes spicy chips and cooked bell peppers with a dip like hummus or ranch, and Random likes cakes and chocolates. 

Lugnut: You’d cook for him...? He’s honored and so very excited! He loves everything you make and will eat it all. He can eat you out of house and home and, surprisingly, has no problem with the concept of constantly ingesting human food even though he isn’t really used to it. He’s not super picky and doesn’t have preferences, just loves it all, so he doesn’t have a favorite. 

Shockwave: He doesn’t accept at first, thinking that it’s easier to just drink the pre-made energon; it’s more logical than wasting time cooking, right? But if you just bring him food without asking beforehand, he can’t deny it. His personal favorites are pudding and cookies. He’s got a horrible sweet tooth. 

Soundwave: He reluctantly lets you cook for him but doesn’t like it. He’s only likes raw vegan foods for taste, texture, and moral reasons, so expect him to be eating a lot of salads, fruits, and nuts. His favorite snacks are cucumber slices, and he’ll sit around and eat onions and tomatoes like they’re apples. Even the other Decepticons think he’s disgusting for doing it.

Swindle: His first thought is that it sounds expensive, and he already has energon to fuel with... But if you so insist and you’re the one paying for ingredients and whatnot, he doesn’t mind the thought of trying human food; he’s an adventurous mech, after all! You start cooking for him regularly, he likes it so much that he insists on paying for it, and unsurprisingly, he’s into the finer things like beef wellington, panna cotta, duck, caviar, etc. 

Lockdown: He doesn’t hate the idea of you cooking for him; saves him on energon, right? He actually asks you to do it first- he’s only on earth and able to try human food for so long at a time, after all. His favorites end up being hearty soups and stews like tomato soup, chili, etc.

Blackarachnia: Human food...? It doesn’t sound that good. The fact that it’s solid is already kinda gross, but she can ingest it a lot better than the others can because of her organic side- the spider aliens usually eat other bugs, though she certainly has never partaken in that. She tries to help you cook but is really bad at it and just allows you to do it. Her favorites are homemade fish and chips, and basically anything else that’s fried or crunchy.

Wasp: The thought of human food disgusts him at first, but if you really want him to try your cooking, he’ll do it. Wasp is a surprisingly sensitive soul after all and he knows it’s something your passionate about. Even after you get him to eat your cooking, the few things he likes are pastas and some other Italian food.