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#when like...idk i feel like I Personally don't notice the difference so much in my playing
nogenderbee · 1 day
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♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕄𝕦𝕥𝕖 𝕪𝕖𝕥 𝕖𝕩𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕧𝕖 ₊˚ˑ༄
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @stellas-starry-stories13 request: woahhhh your inbox is still open
i have t requed genshin from you in a while 🧐🧐🧐
how abboutttttttttt
lyney, freminet, maybe heizou?
with a gf whos mute but has like a ton of personality
like who knew movements of hands and words on a paper could get so chaotic and like could be so expressive???
idk if you get that but wtv
stay hydrated bee!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ I mean~ Last time it was 10 and now it was 15 hihihi
Anyway MY SHORTIE BOYS ONFHAJDHDHS you can tell I'm excited I could write for them >w<
Either way~ I hope you like it!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff
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✧ Lyney is a percpetive man. So when you're mute but still expressive, he'll always notice it if he's around
✧ he may be quite a rambler sometimes but whenever he hears or sees you even reaching for your pen, he'll immidietly shut his mouth and wait for you to write what you want to tell him
✧ no one better talk when you're trying to write and show the text... he can accept talking when you're writing but when you finish, he'll quickly shut up the person
"Hold on for a second. I believe my lover wants to tell us something."
✧ he'll be a bit more polite if it's Arlecchino though... or anyone dangerous for him for that matter
✧ he also gets the hang of what your different hand movements mean overtime!
✧ for example, if you're excited you'll swish around the paper energetically, but when you're sad you'll do so a bit unwillingly... And when you're angry? You sometimes rip some paper off by the strength you use on it!
✧ and you bet he won't hesitate to point it out~ Not in necessarily teasing matter though... usually he just wants to appreciate it a bit~
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
@bleachtheidiot @stellas-starry-stories13 - come get your charming magician~
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✧ Heizou as detective is rather perceptive person because of his experience in that field
✧ so despite you being mute, he quickly noticed all your qualities~
✧ he adores how you could express so much without even saying a word... And the more time he spent with you, the more he knew!
✧ he likes how he could immideitly guess how you're feeling just by how your eyes or hands move within time of a second
✧ he doesn't say this out loud just like that though... he finds it much more interesting to just keep it to himself~
✧ though if you ask him if he's bothered that you can't exactly say what you think... he won't hesitate before explaining it to you
"Boring? Are you kidding me? You're the exact opposite of that! You're literally so expressive with your body language. Don't think it goes unnoticed around me~"
✧ honestly, he doesn't even need to look at paper or your sign language to know what you're talking sometimes... he sometimes just guesses what you wanted to say by your energy alone
✧ of course he'll tease you about it... it's his character after all! But he always makes sure to read or see everything you wanted to tell him with utmost attention
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
@bleachtheidiot - come get your flirty detective~
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✧ Freminet is a rather shy person so he always valued acts of service a bit more than conversations
✧ not because he hated them, but because they always carried stress alongside...
✧ though with you? Maybe at first he felt forces to talk more... but soon he finds the fact you can just sit next to each other and write
"I know I can talk... but... writing with you just feels so much better... It's like we're having our moment no one knows about... T-That was weird, wasn't it? Uh... Sorry..."
✧ despite not being mute himself, he still prefers to write in one notebook with your instead of talking out loud
✧ as for your way of writing... he can't help but smile gently every time he sees your hand moving fastly around paper when you're excited to tell him something
✧ he never dated to comment it, not wanting to accidentally push you away... but he most definitely noticed it and actually found that adorable about you~
✧ you're probably also the reason why he now carries small notebook and pen with you. Both, in case if you forgot yours, and if you two were to fill your notebook too quickly accidentally... And just because he feels calmer when he has it~
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@bleachtheidiot @miya-akane @stellas-starry-stories13 - come get your shy diver~
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t00thpasteface · 14 hours
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i very deeply respect your mashposting and even though im not as enthusiastic about hawkahy as you are i think the content you make for them us delightful and some of the best mashposting on this godforsaken website. that being said, i wanted to know ur takes on the hawkeye & trapper dynamic, and the hawkeye & bj dynamic. Not in a shippy way, just in the World of Hawkahy what role do trapper and bj play in their relationships with hawkeye :3 this because i love that one comic u did where hawkeye is spunchbop and bj is Patrick its one of my fave pieces of mash fanart lol
(⁠๑˘❥⁠⁠ ˘๑⁠) first off, THANK YOU!! i'm soooo crazy about hawkahy and i really enjoy contributing to my fellow shippers, but i'm glad my art can also still appeal to people who are less interested the ship itself.
second, VERY fun question!! i wish i had definitive answers for yall, but you know me... i love to go "well idk it could go either way" ^_^;; really, it depends on what kind of tone and theme i'm looking for. i don't really write heavier stuff (because i have so much fun writing funny fic) so that kind of narrows my options, but there's a lot of potential i'd love to explore— or see someone else explore, if they're so inclined!
TRAP:
generally the trapper reading i typically default to is that he and hawkeye have a pretty casual FWB thing going on. trapper considers hawkeye a very close friend and hooks up with him at an intersection of bicuriosity and deep platonic affection, but hawkeye catches baddddd feelings and ends up genuinely heartbroken to find out their thing was lopsided. in this case, hawkahy would happen only after trapper leaves— mulcahy has a tough time trying to get noticed before that point :( but at the same time, i don't think mulcahy would pounce at the first opportunity, because i don't think an immediate rebound would be good for hawkeye nor mulcahy... but it could happen for dramaaaaa...
another version of the hawkeye-trapper rapport that i love playing with in my fics is trapper being generally very supportive but nonetheless slightly grossed out. i think there's a lotttt of comedy potential with hawkeye thinking it's okay to fuck a priest but NOT a married woman, and meanwhile trapper is pro-infidelity but anti-priestfucking (for whatever reason), and they squabble and tease each other about it the whole time.
it's also funny to think about is trapper trying to figure out whether mulcahy now gets the "one of the bros" back-slapping beer-chugging dude treatment, or if instead he's now slotted into the "go easy on 'em trap" category that protects hawkeye's ladyfriends from hearing trapper's bawdiest jokes and comments when hawkeye brings them along as a plus-one to the swamp.
trapper seems like he's pretty likely to sniff out that hawkeye and mulcahy are seeing each other even if they try their damnedest to keep it secret. i like to think hawkeye trusts trapper enough that he would go ahead and divulge it it up front pretty soon after it's official. trapper could probably even pick up hawkeye's crush beforehand... maybe even before hawkeye knows about it!
i don't see trapper as being too jealous of hawkeye spending a lot of time with mulcahy, even if it means hawkeye is now exclusive and not sleeping with trapper anymore. if anything i think he'd be pretty stoked that he's got one less guy to compete with for the nurses' attention. pretty sweet deal as far as he's concerned.
i do think there'd be some tricky navigating between how hawkeye acts with trapper and the STARK difference with how he acts around mulcahy, which you can see clear as day in the s1 finale, where hawkeye gets soooo soft and careful while talking to mulcahy. i don't think either one is disingenuous; i think hawkeye contains multitudes. hawkeye's not the type to fake sincerity. and to that end, i really don't think hawkahy should hinge on hawkeye totally giving up all the cruder parts of his personality (especially since mulcahy is really no saint either), so it could be pretty interesting to see that manifest in whether/how he's still maintaining a close friendship with trapper now that he's been seeing mulcahy regularly and trying to make a good impression.
BEEJ:
the direction bj goes in depends on whether hawkahy are already an item before he gets there. he does form that almost instantaneous trauma-bond with hawkeye on his first day, but i think if hawkeye admitted "yeah by the way the chaplain is my boyfriend" as soon it seemed safe, bj would be able to take it in stride as another weird little quirk of the mash he has to get used to. he's too hung up on dealing with all the gore to worry about who's banging who.
by contrast, i think he could potentially get pretty upset/jealous if hawkeye and mulcahy paired up a little while later. i can see him feeling really betrayed, like, "what do you normally do when i'm gone?" "wait for you to get back!!"
if bj still doesn't feel like he's really enmeshed himself into the unit— which i think on some level, he never wants to, because he's banking on dropping everything like a hot potato the second he can— then i can totally picture him just feeling completely lost and isolated when hawkeye is suddenly forgoing their boys-nite boozathons in favor of getting some priest pipe. like, at least trapper could always go find his own cuddle buddy to pass the time and had nurses lining up to volunteer; bj has basically nobody and doesn't seem inclined nor equipped to fix that. hawkeye is his liason to the rest of the camp, and bj isn't so great with people without having hawkeye there to help as both teleprompter and safety net.
basically i think bj wants to keep hawkeye within a very specific arm's-length radius— not too close, but not too far either, and hawkeye having so much private time with someone else could really get under his skin.
you could also have bj think the priestfucking is gross/bad on sheer principle like trapper did, even without the jealousy angle, and it'd probably hold a little more water coming from bj than trapper. however, it'd be funny if he's insisting it's definitely not a jealousy thing and he's being fully objective about it, but you can totally tell he's just jealous. x)
i admit i kinda love seeing bj get tormented, because he's got such obvious buttons to press and yet sternly insists that they don't even exist, similar to houlihan and frank. like, you can't just set that up and not expect me to rub my hands together and SLAM those buttons as hard as i can. ergo, bj getting jealous about hawkahy is supremely funny to me. i'm not too proud to admit that!
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cryptojuice · 11 months
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take this with a grain of extremely drunk but at this point I'm my journey? now? I'm like literally the idealest person in the world and I think everyone else has something wrong with them
#is it autism? is that why people don't just fuckin communicate with me?#my autistic superpower is im TOO GOOD at communicating and everyone else is behind me.#im already in the 'so how do we meet our needs' stage when other people are in the avoidance stage or the self awareness stage#idk. idk. fuckin tired of it#tired of games tired of excuses tired of IMMATURITY#tired of being more grown than people in their mid 30s. tired of being more grown than my parents in their mid 50s#tired of being the ONLY person i know ACTIVELY working on their flaws and making progress#maybe others are just working on things i dont notice and maybe others dont notice what im doing. but idk. people have seemed to notice.#is it because im becoming buddhist? am i like more fucking enlightened or something?#i would hope that wouldn't be the only thing causing such a disconnect cause that sounds fucking pretentious#im drunk cause i was upset. remember yhis if you're reading these tags#im not upset anymore cause i got drunk. and made a really good omelette#but yeah i feel so different from other people. so much better and also so much worse. hashtag paradox#best communicator deepest thinker most compassionate soul. also most horrible awful sinner#↑obsessed with the concept of sin in a fascinating way for someone who doesn't Believe in it#yes im a sinner yes im a real sex demon from hell no hell doesnt exist yes reincarnation is real yes i am buddhist yes i believe in ghosts.#i contain multitudes#anyways#i was supposed to *** ** ***** *** today and i didn't so I got grumpy i guess#i really need to practice the principles of detachment#I've gotten a lot better at patience and calm and meditation but i still care so much about inconsequential shit. enough to drink it away i#i should sleep i was trying to fix my sleep schedule the last two nights#but i don't want to. i want to drink and have fun and maybe cry#we'll see#doubt anyone is gonna read this it's mostly for me#gonna tag this#therapy#so i can find it if i need it#i just miss my girlfriend man. but she stood me up again without a word and it's disrespectful#and i know I'm gonna forgive her
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doppelnatur · 1 year
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to a certain degree i don't think there is such a thing as purely internalized and internally directed bias. i don't think directing bias at yourself is morally much better than directing it at others it's just a lot harder to stop. that said, as soon as your self cruelty begins to affect anyone else it's just cruelty. a gay man being homophobic is not any more justifiable than a heterosexual man. then again, maybe this entire way of thinking shows a lack of compassion for myself and is a form of bias.
#Idk I'm being mean to myself about capacity and ability stuff.#I'm. Very aware I still hold a lot of ableism. I really really try treating others with kindness and like noticing when something is an#Ableist impulse and seeing it looking at it and letting it go. And I think I usually do a good job. I do. But it's so much harder when it's#It's me and there's no other expert on my experience and my normality than me and I just don't trust me to. Actually know what's going on#Idk I think ableism is the most active unlearning I'm having to do. With both racism and queerphobia it was very gradual#Fatphobia I feel like i never really like. Took in. Idk why and obviously there's some just straight up misinformation that I'm correcting#But that's all so different#Learning about ableism was such a huge thing for me and it helped me let go of so much self loathing and all that all at once#And to also just be kinder to the people in my life. Like significantly. I think I'd be an absolute pos if not for the autistic community#But like. I feel like I've hit a plateau and there's just. Part of this belief system that's just. My character at this point and I don't#I don't know that I'll ever be able to get over it and I think it makes me a bad person or at least a worse person like. In an unfixable wa#Maybe I need to think of myself like the world. Where I don't think an ideal utopia can be built but that just means we have to keep trying#And get as close as possible and watch all the lik e easy fail points carefully and mend and repair.#Like part of the reason I could let go of self hate is just that I genuinely became a significantly better person#Not just the internalized ableism part but the external butt they're the same kind of anyways right#Idek it's 1am
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supercantaloupe · 2 years
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also maestro told me today that my tone has really improved...aghghhgkhh
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adore-gregor · 10 months
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My rants
#here are partly because i feel like i have no one to talk about this in real life#i feel like no one ever notices i struggle too with stuff like that which i don't hold against anyone#today a friend at uni said about me when we talked about the next upcoming presentation#...and i was telling my presentation partners about how i won’t have much time this weekend and i'm sorry for it...#so she was like: don't worry flora 'will manage' (not exactly this - it's an austrian term) she is awesome - with uni stuff she meant#which is sweet but no pressure 😅 and i don't feel like that at all at least not rn 😶‍🌫️#it's like no one gets it that it's also tough and what is behind it#i feel like i have to hold up the image other people have of me as a smart person who doesn't need to try or never has stress and problems#i don't even think i'm smart idk just lucky or has good strategies maybe i have some talent#but i don't see myself that way#and i always ask my friends and just people how they are doing in general and with uni but hardly anyone asks me that#everyone always assumes i'm doing great i guess maybe because yeah i come off as a very happy go lucky person#and i do smile a lot make jokes and try to be positive and not take life too seriously which is a good thing#but i'm not like that all the time yeah i guess i pretend i'm happy sometimes but it's not always pretending either#it often just also helps me making others feel better but also when you have a bad day making the best of it helps#additionally i don't like people worrying about me either but there's a difference between that and being seen#i would like to have someone to talk to about stuff like that sometimes it often feels lonely#sometimes it's my best friend ... but i don't see her often enough to do that#i could not blame anyone for that it's understable i guess#for example when i do try to bring it up that it's a lot with so much stuff going on or that i had no sleep and feel really worried#they're like 'don't worry you'll do great like always' or even 'it will be easy for you'#and i can't talk to my parents either as they would be worried then and doubt me even more despite doing well overall#so it often feels like i have to keep these thoughts to myself#writing it down here is kind of therapeutic :))
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slushycoookie · 3 months
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Between Two Worlds ~ Loser!Miguel O'Hara x Stripper! Reader
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★Word Count: 4k ★Content: Reader is Fem!/chubby, I also made them more black-coded (I usually do with all my readers but it's much more prominent here), Miguel gets a lap dance AND a hand job on the same night, Tyler and Dana shows up (ugh), but so does Gabriel (yay!) ★A/N: The demons won, idk what to say. Dividers by @/rookthornesartistry Next ✩°。⋆˚⁺ Masterlist | Commissions
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Miguel stops by to see you again.
He wanted to explain himself to you. The way he ran off a few days ago after you laid a finger on him, hearing everyone else laugh at his shyness wasn’t how he wanted that to go. How watching you spin around the pole changed his life. Especially after a couple of rough days. Well, rough weeks. His job hounding him for constant updates on a major project he was working on. And the fact that he lost his fiancé to another man.
He thought going to The Weave, one of the hottest clubs in Nueva York, would help a lot. Only for him to see you, the most beautiful person in the world. But he didn't need to explain all of that to you. The most he could do as an acceptable form of apology was to give you your money. After witnessing your amazing dancing.
Miguel asks one of the bartenders if he could talk to you alone but gets pushback. From the owner, Jessica, the only way to get you alone with him during club hours is to request a private VIP room. To talk or do other things. He begrudgingly settled for a simple lap dance, knowing he was going to leave as soon as he gave you the money.
Miguel’s resolve starts to falter at the idea of being alone with you like that. He heard his heart in his ears as he stood alone in the empty room. It wasn’t even that small, a comfortable size for endeavors such as these. The music booming across the walls matched the beat of his heart. Miguel rehearsed in his head what to say to you a bunch of times, only to come crashing down when you walked in.
The same sweet scent as before hits his nostrils. Your outfit was different this time, of course, it would be. A matching sparkly, purple bikini set. You must really like to shine. And be tall as he noticed you walking easily in platform heels. But you didn’t match his height.
“Hi.”
Miguel wipes his sweaty palms on his pants to give you a handshake, “Hello.”
Your gaze hits the outstretched arm, not expecting that. He still has some manners. So you take it, a pretty smile across your face.
“You requested a dance from me?”
“Yes! Wait, uh no not exactly.” Before you get confused, he pulls out the large stack of money he was supposed to throw the other night. Around five hundred dollars. “I-I wanted to give you this.”
Your eyes widened at the stack of cash, “For what?”
“Your dance. I didn’t throw any money.” He feels himself blush once more, “I was too… enraptured with your dance. I'm sorry.” Miguel extends out the money and you hesitate for a moment before taking the cash, settling it on the table for now.
“Thank you.”
“You're welcome.” He shoots you a shy smile before maneuvering towards the exit.
“You don't want the dance?”
Miguel quickly shakes his head, “No, no I just wanted to give you the money. I didn’t have any cruel intentions.”
You laugh and his heart squeezes with pain. Once again, he's become a joke to you.
“Honey,” You place a gentle hand on his shoulder, “Requesting a lap dance isn't cruel. We have about thirty minutes in here, it'd be a shame to let it go to waste.”
He nods, the idea making sense. “Only if you're comfortable with that.”
“I should be saying that to you.”
A gentle hand rubs his arm for comfort and he sits on one of the black leather chairs. His hands gripping the arms of the seat, trying to calm his nerves. You fiddle with the remote and turn on music to match the mood. A slow, sensual song sets the atmosphere. The simple action of flipping your curly hair, the strands gracefully covering your shoulders causes him to get hard.
Miguel swallows, tugging at his shirt collar. You strut towards him and he feels like he's seeing you better the second time. How your thigh slightly jiggles from your walk to your breasts almost pouring out from your top. He tries not to stare when you spin around in front of him, letting him get a good look at you.
You lean over and cup his face, he tries not to lean into your touch but closes his eyes. Your soft, manicured hands trailing down to his neck, down to his blazer.
“Do you wanna take this off?”
He opens his eyes and sees you not too far from his face. Your dazzling makeup highlights your wonderful eyes, while you’re tugging at his clothes. “Can I?”
“Of course, babe.” You help him remove the jacket, gently placing it on the other chair instead of tossing it. “Does that feel better?”
“Yes.”
Once again, you shoot him a fine smile and he wonders if you could see him sweating. You don't say anything as you continue, taking off his glasses, and setting them on the table. Miguel blinks a few times to get used to the slightly blurry vision. His eyesight becomes clear when your full ass comes into view -slowly sliding back against his thighs, up to his growing erection. The grip on the chair arms gets tighter as he restrains himself from touching you. Even when you do it again, rolling your lower body, putting him in a trance.
He tries not to jump when your hands rest on top of his, sliding up to his forearms and back down to his knuckles. You squat, gyrating your entire body, hair swishing amid the quiet air before you slowly stand back up. He sits still as he's afraid to make any movements.
You straddle him, placing your thumb and index finger on his chin for him to have his eyes on you. And he does, not looking away when you lean back, showing off your perfect body. Your hips roll in tandem with the music, so fluid like water. Your clothed cunt brushed against his painfully obvious bulge. You hardly break a sweat, your makeup still as fresh as it was when you walked in.
Miguel feels cum leaking out his tip, unsure if he should end the session short. So he can fuck his hand and imagine it was you. He whimpers, wanting to show you what you were doing to him. You seem to notice as you grin during the dance. Leaning forward, hands tracing his chest, feeling what a built man he is underneath that white buttoned-down shirt.
“You want a hand job?”
He almost chokes on his saliva, “W-What?”
“You heard me.” You don’t stop while speaking, playfully unbuttoning his shirt. “I’m good at them. And you seem like you want one.” His eyes dart down to the bulge in his pants, face getting hot.
“I-I…” Miguel wasn’t sure the type of person he’d be if he said yes. Especially when he barely knows you. But you offered and he's a man of decent manners. Plus, he wasn’t looking forward to coating his hand with his cum tonight. “I would like that.”
You take your time reaching for his cock. Your purple acrylic nails, scrapped along his chest, down to his abdomen. He tries to slow down his breathing when you reach his belt, carefully undoing it. Unbuttoning his pants and pulling down his zipper. It doesn’t take much for you to pull him out of his boxers. And your eyes grow wide at the sight of him.
Cock hard, veins running along his shaft, pre cum leaking from his tip. He tries to look anywhere else but you don’t let him when you grab his chin. Face close to his.
“Don’t get all shy on me now.”
“I’m not…” He proves it when you let go, eyes on you.
“You’re a big boy.” You still look at his cock, fascinated at the sight of him. Miguel doesn’t say anything, unsure how to respond to that. “I’ll take care of you.” You spit in your hand before touching him.
He tries not to orgasm right then and there. More cum leaks out, helping with the lubrication as you slide down his shaft. Your touch is better than anything else he’s had. He groans when you come back up to his tip, swirling your thumb around it. All while your eyes remain on him, not watching yourself and seeing what you’re doing.
“You like that?”
Miguel shudders as you stroke him, “Y-Yes.”
He still doesn’t touch you. He doesn’t buck his hips up into you. He allows you full control. A gorgeous person like yourself, messing with someone like him. He didn’t know how it came to this and he didn’t want to think about that.
You go faster, a tighter hold on his shaft. Miguel inadvertently spreads his legs wider, louder groans escaping his lips. He’s trapped between your voluptuous body and the fragrant scent he desperately wants to be full of. His lips parted with a plea to taste you, but that would be selfish.
“You want a kiss?” You whisper, nose pressed against his nose, lips hovering above his own.
He doesn’t trust his voice when he nods immediately. You kiss him, swallowing his eager noises. A part of him starts to slip when he grips the back of your neck. Your lips part and he slips his tongue inside, whining at your taste. He bucks his hips up into your hand, feeling that familiar sensation in his stomach. The music is blocked from his ears as he hears your moans, showing you’re also enjoying it. And that makes him happy. So happy that you’re enjoying what you’re doing to him.
To the point where he climaxes.
It was sudden when he moans between your lips, body stilling as his cum coats your hand, staining his pants. You pump him as much as you can, placing small kisses over his face while he comes down from his high. When you stand, he remembers your cum covered hand and points to his jacket.
“I have something you can use…” You dig into his jacket, using the non-cum covered hand. Miguel’s heart flipped at the small gesture. You pull out his pocket square, brows furrowed.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I can wash it later.”
You wipe your hand off, saving some room for him to wipe off any mess he made. For once, he was glad he didn’t cum so much this time. As he grabs his things and puts on his glasses, you start making your way to the exit, five hundred in hand. “Hope you enjoyed yourself.”
“W-Wait.” He quickly goes up to you, pulling out his wallet for any cash he’s had on hand. It was only a hundred, but he hoped it was enough.
“That’s nice of you.” You say while taking the hundred, “I was okay with the five you gave me.”
“I can give you more if you want.” He sees his card and wonders if there’s an ATM nearby he could use. Would another five hundred be enough? Maybe he should shoot for a thousand.
“No, no. Don’t spend all your money on me.” You push the wallet close to his chest, “You gotta eat dinner, you know?”
Miguel lets out a light chuckle, “Right…”
“What’s your name?”
“Miguel.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Miguel.” He loves how his name sounds across your lips. “Come back soon, okay?”
“Okay.”
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He doesn't stop thinking about you when he's home. You fill up his mind as he eats dinner, takes a shower, and lie in bed. An extraordinary person like yourself looks his way, even if it is mandatory. Miguel hasn’t felt this way since he met Dana, his ex-fiancé. Before, she was all he could think about and get lost in. Now, he had you.
His coworkers told him not to fall in love with the dancers. Albeit, they said it jokingly but now he was screwed. This wasn’t even a good time, Dana still had some of her clothes at his place. The break-up was still fresh. Miguel tried to push it out of his mind by focusing on work and strengthening his relationship with his family. But some days were bad. Like he didn’t think if he was worthy of love again.
Miguel was afraid of others thinking you were a rebound and he was seeing it himself. That wasn't the case in his mind. Maybe he should set an arrangement? Otherwise, he’d come and see you every day if he can. And while he wasn’t low on funds, he didn’t want to get that way.
So he started with having you fill his thoughts.
At work, he was in a much better mood. Splicing genes and dealing with DNA, regular geneticist things. He was even for talking to his coworkers, who finally asked about his strip club experience.
“Who did you go see?” Miguel’s colleague, Aaron, asked while handing him a cup of coffee.
“Silk. I liked her dance.”
“Oh, so you got a personal lap dance from her?” He nods, not wanting to go into detail on his experience with you. That was for him and him alone. “Man, lemme tell you, the perfect woman right there. That rack alone? Top tier breasts.”
Miguel shook his head, “She’s more than just her body.”
“Says the man who went in there to see a woman’s body.”
“Right, I’m the problem here.” He bit his tongue, deciding that was enough conversation for the day. Miguel excused himself from the break room, aiming to finish up work in his lab. He tried not to let his coworker's comments sour his mood, but something else sideswiped him.
Tyler called Miguel into his office. And he was not looking forward to that.
He saw the reason when Dana was on Tyler’s lap, laughing and joking around. Her face close to his, almost whispering about something he didn’t catch.
“Miguel!” Dana noticed him first and tried to stand but Tyler stopped her, sitting her back down—a possessive arm around her.
“Don’t go, my dear. You just got comfortable.”
She wanted to object to the fact her husband-to-be was in the office but Miguel stepped forward, “It's fine. You wanted to see me, sir?”
Or he should say father, with venom laced through his words. That would've caused a scene.
“Yes, I wanted to ask about the spider DNA and how that's going?”
Miguel clenched his jaw, knowing full well this could've been done through a phone call. “It's going fine. Still have hundreds of DNA to go through.”
“Hundreds? You’ve been having a slow work ethic these past couple of weeks.” Tyler's brows furrowed, “I wonder why.”
‘You know why.’
“It's nothing, sir. I promise you, I'll catch up.”
“You better. I need something to give these shareholders at the end of the quarter.”
Miguel nods, motioning to the door, “May I go now?”
“Sure, sure.” Tyler allows, not before letting Miguel see him pull Dana close to him, showing what he stole.
The day was now ruined. Even thoughts of you weren't enough to get him back to his happy state. He needed to see you again, and go over the arrangement he wanted to set. But he's already been there for three days this week. And he didn’t want anyone to get suspicious of his constant presence.
Luckily, Gabriel called him after work.
“Mig! I'm hungry!”
He held in a sigh, “You know where to get food, Gabri.”
“Duh, this was an invitation to go out with Kasey and me. Have dinner with us?”
Miguel glanced at the clock in his apartment, “Fine. Where?”
“I'll text you the place.”
It resulted in him being a third wheel to his brother and girlfriend. The Italian restaurant they picked was low-key as Miguel stared out the window to ignore Gabriel and Kasey's banter. Wishing he was somewhere else.
“Soooo,” Gabriel leaned forward, capturing his brother's attention, “How have you been?”
Miguel raised a brow, “I've been okay.”
“Just okay?” He leans closer, almost brushing along the breadsticks.
“Just okay.”
“Oh good.” He leans back, arm draped over his girlfriend, “For a second there, I thought you’d be hung up on Dana.”
“That bitch of a whore.” Kasey added, nibbling on a breadstick.
“Exactly.”
“Don’t call her that.” Miguel says, no matter how right Kasey was. “She chose not to be with me anymore, I can respect that.”
“By cheating on you with your boss.” Gabriel reminds him as if the entire ordeal was still fresh. The pain, the heartbreak, the constant thoughts of Miguel wondering what he did wrong in the relationship and how it came to this.
“Tyler…was a better option for her.” It was all he could say before intentionally propping up his menu to get a good look at what he was ordering. He didn’t want to go back and forth with his brother. He’s already done that enough with one too many people. Once they ordered, Miguel couldn’t hide behind his menu anymore, so he thought to bring up something else. “I’ve already met someone else.”
“And proceeded to not tell your little brother?” Gabriel clutches his chest in dramatics, “Does Mami know?”
“What do you think?” Miguel gave him a look, which his brother reciprocated when Kasey took over.
“Okay, who are they? Spill.”
“I’d…rather not.”
“What? Why not?”
“I’m feeling it out. I want to make sure it’s not a rebound because of what happened with Dana.” As much as he wanted to boast about you, there was still the problem that he barely knew you. He couldn’t let anyone know about you until he does.
“Fair.”
“Are they cute at least?” Gabriel earned a smack on the head from her, “What? I’m just asking!”
“He’ll talk about them when he wants to talk about them.”
“Alright, alright.” Miguel’s lips curled upwards with amusement at the two. “Keep me updated, okay?”
“I will.”
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Miguel comes back to The Weave with a mission. He stands in line, waiting to be admitted with the others, rehearsing what he wants to propose to you. The head of security, which Miguel finds out his name is Noir, pats him down after collecting the thirty-dollar admissions fee.
“Have fun, Mr. Science Guy.”
Miguel walks in, getting used to the bright flashing lights inside the club. A few dancers are already on stage, getting covered with money. He doesn't see you though. So he goes to the bar to ask for you. And be graced by the owner herself.
“Oooh the nerdy guy came back.” She teases, handing customers shots of tequila. Her outfit is slightly more modest compared to her employees. A red, leather bodysuit paired with a matching jacket and black boots that went to her thighs. He glanced down at her exposed cleavage before he looked at her eyes, “This is your third time being here, so you must got some money.”
Miguel snorts, “Are you counting?”
“Hell yeah. You pay well, gotta make sure it stays that way.” She offers him a shot but he declines, going back to the task at hand.
“Is she here?”
“Now, you know I need a name.” Jessica peers through her yellow-coated shades.
“Silk.” He swallows, “I want to talk to her for a bit.”
“Sure. ‘Talk’.” She emphasizes before stepping out from behind the bar, calling in some blonde guy named Ben to take over. “She's on her break but I'll give you a bit to speak to her.”
Miguel follows Jess to the back of the place. Maneuvering past half-drunk people, not trying to step on the money that was thrown all over the place, while keeping his eyes straight ahead at the multiple lap dances and pole dancing he came across. She led him down a series of steps, the loud, thumping music fading away.
“Guess who's baaaack?” Jess sings as she leads him to the dressing room. A large room filled with bright lights, plenty of locker rooms and mirrors, and an area in the corner which he assumed was the bathroom. Momentarily, he saw you leaning against the table, slowly munching away on a cookie. Eyes unfocused but coming back to reality when they stepped into the room.
“Hey, Miguel.”
“Ooh, so yall are on a first-name basis already?” You shake your head as Miguel seals his lips. Jess grins, not wanting to tease any further. “He wanted to talk to you. So you got ten minutes before I need you back out there.”
You shoot her an ok sign when Miguel says, “Thank you.”
“Mmhm.”
As Jess walks out of the room, he sees your outfit. Your body is in full view through the long, sheer black outfit, exposing your legs. “You look beautiful tonight.”
“Thanks.” You give him a brief smile, “So what brings you here? Want another hand job?”
“Ah no, thank you.”
“Aww, you didn’t like the last one? I’ll admit it was a bit impromptu, I didn’t have my lube on me.” You explain. Miguel figures you must give a lot of hand jobs.
“No, I enjoyed it. Very much so.” He admits, ducking his head, the linoleum floor looking a lot nicer right now. “I wanted to see if we could come up with an arrangement.”
“An arrangement?”
“Yes. A certain day when I can see you and only you.” He continues, “All of these other ladies are nice but I only want you.”
“I'm flattered.” You tap on the table to get him to sit beside you and he does. Taking in the close proximity, “I'm surprised a man like you wants to frequent this place, out of all places.”
“A man like me?” He questions but then understands what you meant, “You mean a scientist?”
“…yeah, sure. Let's go with that.” You pat his shoulder.
“Is it wrong that I want to do something different? I go to work, go home, see my family, and that's it. Not a way to live.”
“True. But you thought that something different was going to a strip club?”
“Y-Yes.” He rubs the back of his neck while your eyes are filled with questions. But you didn’t ask any. “My ex-fiancé thought I was boring. And maybe I am, but I wanted to prove it.”
“Ah, so this is for getting back at your ex, got it.”
Miguel feels a shift from you after saying that and he goes to correct himself, “No wait, I'm not using you, don't think that way. I just wanted something new to my routine.”
“Then what does this arrangement entail?” You ask, hands on your hips. “Because a lot of people come to the club to see ass, tiddies, and pussy. Then go about their business. It looks like you're asking for more than that.”
This conversation is going all wrong. Now, it looks like he offended you which wasn't his intention. Miguel wasn’t sure what exactly he said to make you hostile towards him in the first place so he backtracks.
“I just want to see you and talk.”
“While I give you a lap dance or something?” He nods, “You know I'm not a therapist.”
“I know.”
“And you know you're still going to have to pay me.”
“R-Right, of course. I have plenty of money.”
“But don't waste it all on me. You got yourself to take care of.”
“Yes, yes you're absolutely right.”
“Okay.” You sigh, stuffing the rest of the cookie in your mouth before brushing the crumbs off your body. Miguel wished he was the cookie crumb that grazed along your chest, but he bit his lip not to say anything. “I have a headlining dance on Tuesdays but if you want to make sure we have plenty of time together, then Thursdays.”
“Okay.”
Time was up and you had to go back out on the floor. As you push him out, he stops right by the doorway to the establishment, blocking your path.
“So I'll see you on Tuesday?”
You roll your eyes, “I told you I have a dance on Tuesdays.”
“I know.”
Your lips twitch, unsure if they want to smile or not. “I'll see you then.”
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Tag list (lemme know if you guys wanna be tagged): @miguelzslvtz @kitcatcrunch @nina-from-317
@slut4oscarissac23 @anythigbutmiguel @moonlight00sthings @bajbr @freehentai
@chubbybyunnie @ilikeowlsidkwhy @questionable-behaviour @imamexican @tatatida
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Text
𝐌𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐬𝐬. 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞・𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐦
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Jude is your boss. You're his assistant. He deserately wants to take you out on a date but you don't want to.. maybe
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: boss! Jude x assistant! Reader(first person)
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.5k
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: coworker relationship, SMUT, intercourse(unprotected), a little bit of dirty talking, cursing
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: trying something different. idk but I love the way I wrote this tho
Enjoy
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stacks of papers pilled up on my desk made me exhale loudly. I just got into work and this is what I'm faced with. Great.
I slung my purse to the floor and took a seat in my hard chair. As I opened my laptop the door in front of me opened up. Jude, my boss, walked out taking a look over at me.
He's been my boss for the past two months now. Ever since our old CEO stepped down, he has been filling in.
Jude wasn't a bad boss. He never yelled, he always made me feel comfortable, and allowed me to work at my own pace. but there was just one small issue with having him as my boss.
He's was so damn hot.
His face was like a Greek god. He was tall, He always looked amazing in whatever suit he wore, his hair and skin so perfect. Today was no different.
When he walked up to my desk, he looked at me with those pretty brown eyes and that amazing smirk of his. I subconsciously squeezed my legs shut. Thankfully he couldn't see it as I did so.
“Good morning Mr. Bellingham.”
I tore my eyes from his and looked down at the files in front of me.
“You got a lot to do.” he said to me. I laugh, looking up at him. “Yep. I noticed.”
“Ok well I'm going to let you get on to them. I'm going to take a few calls. Lemme know if you need anything.”
I nodded, smiling slightly at him. Jude turned back around heading back into his office. When the door shut I exhaled and leaned back into my chair.
-
It was now 5pm. The winter sun was now set leaving the outside world dark, but this office was sill open. I had answered several emails, took several calls and filled out several filles by now.
Jude was still very much in his office. I haven't seen him much today only because he was busy taking calls.
I got up walking to Jude's office. I knocked before opening the door. Jude was sitting at his desk in his white button up shirt, his suit top sitting on the back off his chair. When he noticed me he looked from whatever he was doing on his computer.
“Hi I just wanted to check in on you.”
Jude smiled at me and nodded. “Yeah I'm doing pretty good.”
“Ok well I finished everything, I'm going to head out. I'll catch you tomorrow.” As I was ready to Leave the doorway, Jude stopped me.
“Y/n.”
I turned back to him. “Yes?”
Jude motioned for me to come over to his desk which I did. I took a seat in the chair across from him. “yes?”
“I just want to ask you what you're doing tonight?”
He looked at me waiting for me to answer. I sat there confused. “Well I'm not doing anything. Just going home. Why are you asking?”
Jude tore his eyes from me. “I was thinking we could go to dinner.”
My heart was pounding in my chest as he said that. “Are you asking me out on a date?”
Jude squeezed his lips together. It was an obvious yes.
“Yeah, but it doesn't have to.” Jude leaned back in his chair. “We can go as co workers.”
I let out a nervous laugh. “I don't know if that's a good idea. I mean.. you're my boss.”
Jude nodded. I can see the light leaving his eyes making me feel a little bit guilty.
“You're right. Well I'm not going to hold you for long. You can go.”
I stood up walking over out the door. I grabbed my things and walked to the elevator. As I waited for it to come to our floor my mind started to race. Did I really not want to go on a date with him? I mean he's my boss but still he's fucking hot and I can't deny I thought about him a lot over these past two months.
The elevator dinging pulled me away from my thoughts. I stepped in. My fingers hovered over the button.
Should I or should I not?
I groaned out a fuck and stepped out of the elevator. My heels clicked against the floor as I walked over to Jude's office.
I opened the door.
“Fine, I'll go on a date with you.”
Jude looked over at me, eyes wide. “you will?”
“Yes. But no one can know.”
Jude stood up. “Ok, nobody has to know.”
-
I was now sitting in Jude's car as he drove wherever he was going to take me. We haven't said a word since leaving the office. I was feel nervous but at the same time excited.
Jude pulled into a restaurant that looked extremely expensive.
“Ok we're here” Jude unbuckled his seatbelt. I did the same. Jude got out before me, walking to my side of the car and opened the door for me. I stepped out, muttering a small thank you.
We walked into the restaurant and got seated by one of the waitress.
“Wow this is nice.” I took a look around taking it all in.
“Yeah this is one of the best restaurants in town.” Jude smiling at me made my face heat up. It was such a beautiful sight. I quickly looked down at my menu and began to look at everything on there.
The waitress soon came to our table taking our orders. When they left Jude began to talk. “So what made you change your mind?”
I looked at him confused.
“Out with me.” he answered understanding my confusion.
“Oh right. I don't know.. I just thought why the hell not you know.” I laughed awkwardly mentally cursing myself.
“Well I'm happy you came. I've been dying to take you out.”
Before I could ask him to explain the waitress returned with our drinks. I smiled at her, muttering a thank you before she left again.
“You've been dying to take me out?”
Jude nodded. He stopped making eye contact with me as I can tell he was growing embarrassed. I smiled.
Yeah. Have you seen yourself. You're… fucking stunning.”
My cheeks heated up at his words. “Really?”
“Yes absolutely.” Jude reached over, grabbing my hand that was sitting on the table. Butterflies filled my stomach making me tear my eyes from his.
“No no look at me.”
I look back up at Jude. “you don't believe me?”
“Well nobody has ever told me that before so yeah I guess I don't.” I tilted my head to the side as I spoke. Jude hummed understanding. His hands burned into mines as he continued to hold them.
It wasn't long before our food came. We are and made small talk with one another. I'm very happy with the fact I decided to come out with Jude tonight.
When we walked back to his car, Jude's arms circled my waist. I smiled leaning into his side. Jude helped me back into the passengers seat before he got into the drivers seat.
We drove in a comfortable silence till Jude reached my apartment.
“Do you wanna come up? I have a bottle of wine I haven't opened yes.”
Jude nodded, unbuckling his seatbelt. I got out and Jude followed me up to my apartment.
I walked in to my apartment after unlocking the door, When the door shut behind Jude I turned to him. The way he was looking at me tells me he wasn't there for simply wine.
He stepped closer to me to the point his forehead was resting on mines. My heart thumped against my chest as our nose brushed.
“Can I kiss you?”
Just fucking do it already. “Yes you can.”
Jude didn't need to be told twice. His lips pressed against mines in a instant. I shut my eyes letting my lips sync with his. God his kissing was better than I imagined. I felt woozy right now.
His hands found my waist pulling me closer to his waist. I could feel something pressed against me.
“Are you hard?” I asked when I pulled. “What do you think?” Jude's lips found my neck. I smirk pushing him off of me. “follow me.”
I grab Jude's hand leading him to my bedroom. I kicked off my heels along the way. When we got to my room I pushed Jude onto the bed.
I climbed on top of him, my lips finding his instantly. A moan fell from my throat as our tongues collided with one anothers, fighting to explore each other's mouths.
I grind my hips against Jude's boner earning a groan from him. His hands found my waist and slowly started to guide me.
I clenched around nothing as I moved slowly against him. The feeling of his rough pants mixed with my thin panties made me pull away and bury my face into Jude's neck as a moan spilled from my lips.
“I need to be inside you so bad.” Jude whispered in my ear as he still guided me. I sat up and tugged off my shirt. My hands found Jude's suit pants. I tugged down the zipper. Jude helped me pull down his pants and then his boxers.
Now it was my turn; I pulled off my dress leaving me in my black laced bra and panties. Jude sat up slightly leaving kisses on top of my breast.
I bite my bottom lip as he inched closer and closer to where I wanted him to be.
Jude's hands reached around my back and he unclamped my bra allowing my breast to spill out. Instantly his mouth closed around my nipple right after his tongue lapped at the bud.
A crying moan fell from my lips. It's been a while since I had sex. My mind was all over the place in a good way. I needed this badly.
jude pulled away looking up at me.
“Are you sure you want to do this love? There's no going back after this?”
Yes I'm absolutely positivity sure I want to do this. “Yes I'm sure.”
“Ok take off your panties.”
I did as Jude said pulling off my panties that were now soaked. Here I was completely bare in front of him. I felt nervous but I didn't let him notice.
Jude pulled me back on top off him. He lined himself up with me and before he pushed into me he looked at me for permission. I nodded slight and then it was game over.
My eyes fell shut as he stretched me out going further and further. When I was sure he wasn't going any further and began to move my hips.
Slowly and slowly me and Jude became adjust to one another. Sinful words fell from our lips as we fucked.
“Fuck you're so tight,” Jude grunted out. He had a tight grip on my waist as he helped me ride him.
“Can't believe I've been missing out on this pussy this whole time.”
I shuttered at his words and looked into his pretty brown eyes. “I saved it just for you. Haven't fucked anyone in months.”
“Yeah?” Jude grabbed my face pulling my closer to his lips. I nodded, whimpering when a moan fell from my mouth.
Jude kissed me. He kissed me hard. He was so fucking intoxicating. I'm not sure I'm going to be over him after this. Not that I wanted to be.
I pulled away my head falling back. The tightens in my stomach was growing every time I slammed back down on him. his tip brushed at my g spot over and over again.
“You gonna cum?” I looked down at Jude and nodded. “Yes, I'm so close.”
Before I could even grasp what was happening Jude had flipped us over leaving me on my back. My legs now on his shoulder creating a new sense of pleasure.
I gasped when he pushed in me. Holy fuck.
Jude fucked me, like really fucked me. My moans filled the room and I prayed my neighbors didn't hear anything. The tingling in my stomach was so damn close to breaking at any moment.
“Yeah, you like that huh.”
I looked up at him looking at the cocky smirk on his face that made him ten times more attractive.
With one more thrust, my back arched off the bed as I came around him. I tried my best not to moan too loud but boy did I fail at that.
Jude wasn't far behind. He pulls out cumming ropes on my stomach.
I felt the bed beside me dip and a grunt from Jude's lips. I opened my shut eyes and looked over at him.
“Are you ok?” Jude nodded. “Yeah I'm good. Are you ok? I wasn't too rough was I?”
I shook my head with a smile. “no you were perfect.”
Jude returned the smile. He leaned over and kissed my lips. When he was finished he climbed out of bed. I was confused as he walked out of my room until I heard the faucet on in my bathroom. A few seconds later Jude returned with a towel to clean me up .
My past partners never did that for me. This was new and I fucking love it.
“So are you staying the night or are you leaving?” I asked once Jude was finished. I watched as he thought about it for a second before giving an answer.
“I'd kill to spend a night with you but unfortunately I have to leave.” He came up to my side of the bed and placed a kiss on my cheek. “But I'll see you tomorrow thought.”
I nodded. Of course he would. We work together.
I watched as Jude go dressed.
I walked him to the door and with one more kiss he was gone.
When I returned back to my bedroom I couldn't stop smiling to myself. I finally got to sleep with the man I've been dreaming about. Sure he was my boss but who the fuck cares. I was on cloud 9
That night I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
-
The next morning
I walked into the office with a pep in my step. After the night I had yesterday I couldn't help it.
When I reached my desk I noticed some roses on them. I picked them up grabbing the note on them and read it.
I hope you had an amazing night. We should do that more often
Your secret admirer
I laugh to myself, placing the flowers back down.
My heels clicked against the floor as I walked over to the door.
With a small knock I opened it.
“Mr. Bellingham.”
Jude leaned back against his chair, smiling at me.
"Ms. Y/l/n."
Man I'm fucked
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weird-is-life · 6 months
Note
hii! So I've never made a request before- but I was wondering if you could write a sunshine!reader × spencer where reader is a but dimmer(less sunshiney? Idk lol) than usual? Something sort of fluffy and comfort like if that makes sense :) I love your work sm and i saw your requests were open so- <33
Hii lovely ty for the request🥰! And thank you for loving my work, ily😭 hope this is okay. Warnings: fluff, reader is a bit upset, mentions of food/drink, use of pet names(0.9k)
You come to work without your usual cheery aura. You greet everybody with a smile, but Spencer sees right through it. He can tell the difference between your real smile, and between this fake smile. I mean, he would be kind of a bad boyfriend if he couldn't differ them.
Spencer comes up to your desk, his hand immediately finds yours, "hi, sweetheart."
You look up at him, fake smile already plastered on your pretty face, "hi, Spence."
"Are you okay?" Spencer whispers, trying not to draw any attention to you.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I guess I just didn't sleep well," you respond way too quickly so Spencer knows you're lying right away.
"Really?" Spencer asks softly, trying to get the real answer.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Really." You form another fake smile on your face. But Spencer doesn't push you, he knows you'll tell him in your own time if you want to.
Spencer squeezes your shoulder lovingly, and lets you get back to work. And even though he isn't going to try, and force you to tell him what's wrong, he's not letting it go.
Spencer settles on the plan to try to cheer you up, even if just a little.
Spencer goes to grab a coffee to a little café near the Bau so he grabs a drink and some sweet pastries for you as well. He even buys you a flower, just one simple flower not a bouquet, but it's your favourite so he hopes that you'll like it.
As soon as Spencer gets back to the office he makes a beeline for you. You don't notice him coming, too focused on the papers, until the beautiful flower is right in front of your face.
"Oh," you yelp in surprise, small but genuine smile right away on your lips, "what's this?"
"This," he also puts the drink and the pastries on your table," is for you."
"For me? Why?" you ask a little confused, but Spencer already can see that your mood has been lifted even if just a bit.
"Just because," Spencer beams at you.
You raise your brows at him, "just because?" you giggle. Your giggle makes Spencer almost melt away.
"Yeah, " Spencer shrugs his shoulders. He would have bought you thousands of flowers if it meant that you would smile at him like this again. He overwhelmingly wants to kiss you, but he just can't kiss you in the middle of the office.
He decides that a little peck on your cheek wouldn't hurt. He quickly looks around, and then does it.
You cheeks go rosy, "thank you, handsome. This is really nice."
"Of course," Spencer smiles at you one more time before he leaves you be. He sits at his desk, and takes a sip of his coffee.
It's missing the very much needed sugar, even if he did ask for more sugar at the café It's still not enough. He goes straight to the small office kitchen.
You notice Spencer going there, and follow him. You can't believe how sweet Spence is. I mean, you know he's literally the sweetest person on the earth, but still it takes you by a surprise every time. It makes you love him even more everytime, too.
You swear, you were very close to crying when he brought you the flower. You haven't been feeling very well since the morning. It's just one of those days when you wake up with an upset mood, and there's no actual reason behind it. It's just this way sometimes.
You know Spencer noticed this bad mood. And of course, he's trying everything he can to make you feel better without being forceful. So you want to thank him again.
"Hi, sweetheart, need more sugar too?" Spencer notices you straight away.
"No, I just wanted to say thank you again, Spence," you say sheepishly.
"No need to say thanks again. I'm glad you like my little surprise," Spencer can't help it when you're around him, his hand immediately lands on your hip.
You try to give him a smile, but you just anxiously look at him, "I just... Y-you were right. I-I don't feel good today."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Spencer softly asks in hushed voice, his hand starts to do circles on your exposed skin where your sweater has risen.
"Can we talk about it later?" You don't feel like talking about it right now. Especially not at work. You'd rather do it later with Spencer's arms around you.
"Definitely, lovely. You can come to my apartment if you want to. We don't even have to talk, we could just put on a movie or something. Does that sound okay?" Spencer proposes unsurely, he doesn't want to make you even more sad. He wouldn't survive it for sure. He's so used to your happy smiles and cheerful mood that it's weird seeing you so sullen. He doesn't like seeing you like this at all, it breaks his heart a little.
"Sounds perfect." You look at him like you want to ask him also something else, and Spencer doesn't even need to guess to know what to do. He's seen those puppy eyes on your numerous times.
Spencer quickly wraps his arms around you, instantly whispering sweet things in your ear, "I love you, y'know that?"
"I know, love you, too," you say into his shirt, already feeling a small amount of tension leave your body.
You stay like that until you are positive that you are blushing like crazy from his compliments, and until someone else comes into the kitchen for a coffee (you don't want to be another lecture about inappropriate behaviour at work, you leave that to other people).
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justwinginglife · 2 months
Note
hi can I request sochiro x reader arrange marriage where the girl is a platoon leader in the third and first division. And her parents want her to quit her job to be a housewife, but like she’s very good at it. And her and soshiro don’t really get along and when they sleep together it’s always after they argue because in her head she thinks the only way she can hurt him is if she runs her nails down his back. Furthermore they start to eventually fall for each other I’ll let you decide how. But then he starts to get jealous at the guys that clearly like her and he kinda wants to claim her. Idk something like that can you make it angsty too pls
thank you sorry for the trouble
Don't apologize, it's no trouble at all! Sorry I took so long with this prompt, was just trying to figure out all the in's and out's. Honestly not even sure if this is what you wanted, but this is my attempt. ALSO THIS IS NSFW IF YALL COULDN'T TELL.
The Best Kind Of Disaster
You expected marriage to a stranger to be difficult but not a disaster. It was, in fact, quite disastrous. But your parents had begged you to quit your job as a Platoon Leader in the First Division and this was your compromise with them- you'd marry anyone they chose on the condition that they quit complaining about your work and stop trying to get you to become a housewife. So now you were in this mess for better or for worse and this disaster was yours to keep.
Honestly, you'd originally thought this marriage would be a breeze. The man you had saddled yourself with was none other than Vice Captain Hoshina of the Defense Force's Third Division so you knew he'd at least understand your duty if he didn't understand anything else. And he was quite the looker too. But looks don't solve everything and you were starting to realize that more and more, day by day.
You blamed Captain Narumi for your troubles. You'd taken too much of his personality into you, after working with him so long, and Hoshina could feel it. Every little behavior that was Gen's, every reflex, every smartass comment, the way you fought, even the tone of your voice sometimes resembled his, and Hoshina was not having it.
He constantly complained that if he wanted to marry Narumi he would've just married Narumi. And you were constantly pissed that he'd never recognize you as your own person. You couldn't even drink your tea or read a book without him making some snide comment about how Narumi probably taught you how to put a proper cup together or how he probably taught you how to read. Then you'd shoot back with some snarky comment of your own but it only furthered his opinion that you were just another Narumi copy.
One day, you'd decided to show him the specific ways in which you were different from Narumi. Your anatomy, in particular.
He had come home from a particularly long day at work and had too much energy to burn off, too much stress on his lower half. You noticed the little bulge in his pants and thought you'd tease him a little but he didn't take the vulgar comments well. In no time at all, he had you in a chokehold on the ground. You thought you might break his boner with the sudden urge to kick him in the crotch, but that fire inside you went somewhere else when you saw his little smirk. It was the first time you'd even seen some resemblance of a smile on his face, and the thought that you being underneath him was what had pleased him sent those flames rushing to the space between your legs.
You smirked right back and adjusted your weight, yanking him to the floor and positioning yourself on top him.
"Bitch."
"Asshole."
"Fucking wannabe Narumi."
"Fucking second-rate samurai."
"I bet Narumi fucks better than you do."
"I bet Soichiro fucks better than you do."
He growled at that, rolling over so you were pinned underneath him again. He ground his hips up against yours and the feeling of his erection fucking you through your pants got your underwear soaking. He started sucking and biting harshly at your neck as though he were trying to tear your throat out with his teeth. But you liked the pain. It was surprisingly the most attracted you'd ever been to him.
You yanked his shirt off, only able to admire his rock-hard physique for a minute before he shoved his tongue down your throat. You almost choked on it and he smirked against your lips. He was so fucking smug and it pissed you off- in the sexiest way.
You bit his lip hard and he groaned at the sharp sensation.
To get you back, he gripped your breast tight, squeezing at it with full force. Then he ripped your shirt off and began sucking at his target aggressively, dragging his tongue back and forth over your nipple relentlessly. You moaned and began cupping your other breast, to which he responded by shoving your hand away from your chest.
"Did I fucking tell you that you could touch yourself? You're going to pay for making that comment about my brother. I'm gonna fuck you so hard you can't see straight and you're going to take back your words, so don't go getting off before I can destroy you properly."
"Promises, promises. You talk a big game for being the lesser Hoshina." You teased with daring eyes.
He knew you were baiting him but he didn't care, he used it as fuel to unleash all his jealousy and fury on you. "We'll see if you'll still be saying that by the time I'm done with you. I'm gonna send you back to Narumi so fucking cum drunk he won't be able to recognize you."
And with that, not wanting to waste anymore time talking, he jerked your pants off of you and jabbed his fingers at your panties. He wouldn't give you the satisfaction of feeling him fully inside you yet. He just teased at your entrance, roughly dragging his fingers up and down your underwear, pleased at just how much wetter he was making it.
You groaned at the unnecessary teasing and before he could react, you wrenched your underwear to the side and shoved his two fingers inside you, thrusting your hips into them.
He hissed but he didn't resist, he just kept pumping his fingers deep inside you. "So fucking impatient and so fucking wet."
"Thought you were gonna show me something special, or do I have to ask your brother if I want a good time?"
You could almost feel his glare searing holes into your skull and the thought got you so damn horny. "Fuck me then, Soshiro."
It was the first time he'd heard you say his first name and he groaned as he palmed his growing erection through his pants. Then he yanked it out, fucking his hand until there was enough precum drizzling down his throbbing cock.
You wanted to make some sassy comment about his shrimpy size (honestly, it was huge but you didn't need him to have anymore ego than he already did so you thought you'd knock him down a peg), but before you could form any words, a yelp had already escaped your throat as you realized he'd just shoved his full length inside you.
He was grinning widely now, amused by the precious little noises escaping your quivering lips.
You bit your lip to silence them but more moans came clumsily tumbling out as he continued to relentlessly thrust into you until you thought he might bruise your sensitive walls. Might make you bleed out underneath him.
You wanted your share of his blood too and you dug your nails into his back, as you braced yourself for his next onslaught. The feeling of you piercing his skin did more to him than either of you thought it would, because his pace picked up, like he was eager to come with your nails carved into him.
The sound of him desperately fucking your dripping pussy, panting heavily as he groaned into your chest, sent you over the edge. Never mind that you were married and this is what married couples did, no this act of intimacy with him felt filthy, felt corrupt. You hated each other. So why did it feel so obscenely good? If this feeling were a tangible object, you would've locked it away and let it sink to the bottom of the ocean.
But regardless, the feeling of pure orgasmic pleasure washed over you anyway and you shuddered underneath him, clenching around his dick as you came in waves. He took this as permission to thrust into you again, this time pumping hot white sheets of his cum inside your velvety depths.
He finished filling you up and pulled out abruptly, but to your surprise he then flipped you over on your stomach and plunged his still-dripping cock inside your ass, continuing his assault on your trembling body.
You whimpered at this new sensation and he soaked up the sound. You hadn't wanted to inflate his ego but you'd done it all the same.
He reached around you and roughly flicked a finger at your clit as he thrust into your ass deeper.
"If you beg me to stop I will." You could almost hear his stupid smirk.
You didn't want to give him the satisfaction. "What, you don't got the stamina to finish the job, Hoshina?"
He chuckled darkly, and removed his hand from your swollen clit, much to your dismay. Then he dug his hands into your hips before pounding into you harder.
The pain and the pleasure were so beautifully distracting that you almost forgot you hated him. You could get lost in the feeling of being underneath him, of making him so wild for you that he'd fuck you round after round, cum still fresh on his dick each time.
The arousing thoughts forced another orgasm from you, and you squirt all over the floor as he pumped his seed deep into your ass.
You collapsed on the ground, dripping from front and back, and he pulled away from you to admire his handiwork while he caught his breath.
You thought maybe the sudden intimacy would change something in your relationship, make you sweeter to each other, kinder to each other, but that hope was ripped from your mind when he made a stupid fucking comment about liking you better when you were all pathetic for him and you ended up kneeing him in the balls.
Months later, you were still making petty comments and snarky digs at each other, but that first initial sexual encounter proved that one thing had in fact changed in your relationship- hate sex was now on the table and the both of you were ready to use it at a moment's notice.
You got more kills than him in combat? He'd take it out on your clit.
He said your cooking was shit? You blew him so hard he begged for seconds. You forced him to retry your food and rethink his stance on it, then you choked him down again afterwards.
Little by little, you both unconsciously began to seek each other out more and more; of course, you both used the sex as a cover, but even when you weren't having sex you were still looking for each other, looking for ways to be closer.
He said he wanted to blow your back out but really he wanted to wish you a happy birthday and he snuck a gift into your room when you weren't looking.
You said you wanted to milk him dry, but you really wanted to distract him from the bad day he was having.
He said he wanted to fuck you until you dropped, but really he wanted you away from base when they were looking for volunteers for a particularly dangerous mission.
All this tip-toeing, just to avoid the simple truth that your relationship had evolved into what marriage was supposed to be in the first place. If you really thought about it, it should've been easy. You were already married, how hard could it be to confess your feelings to your husband? But you didn't like to think about it, didn't like to wonder if you were overestimating your relationship, if you were overthinking every nice gesture he made, if you were really just a body for him to have sex with. You couldn't stand the thought of being desperately in love with him and him seeing you as just another woman. Just some baggage he'd gotten bogged down with. Even if he had grown fond of you, was it just in the way one was fond of a pet?
So you kept quiet. And so did he.
And for awhile, it seemed like your relationship would forever be suspended in this state. But then you got asked out on a date and the aching in your heart made you realize everything you were missing from your current relationship. You wanted to be pursued, you wanted to be chased after. You'd almost forgotten what it was like to be desired.
So now, here was this tall, handsome man asking you out, offering you everything you could've ever wanted, and all you could do was flounder. Of course you wanted to be seduced, wanted to be wanted, but he wasn't Soshiro. No one would ever be Soshiro to you.
Right as you were about to reject him, you felt a hand wrap around your waist, the grip firm and protective.
"I really hope I heard wrong, because you better not be asking my wife out on a date." Soshiro warned, his voice low and rough as he took his place beside you.
The man looked from him to you, then back to him, and he quickly shook his head before scurrying off.
"That's what I thought." Soshiro grumbled, pulling you closer to him.
"Since when am I yours?" You teased, nudging him with your arm.
"Since when are you not?" He nuzzled up against your ear, nibbling on it slightly.
You rolled your eyes. "In bed, sure. Outside, not so sure."
His brows furrowed at your statement. "What do you mean?"
You waved him away, not wanting to have this discussion in public. "Nothing, nothing."
He grabbed your wrist tightly. "Baby. What do you mean you're not mine?"
He'd never called you baby before. He'd never called you any pet name before. Your heart thundered in your chest.
"I thought we... I thought we just...." You trailed off, unable to explain yourself in a way that made you sound less pathetic.
"Thought we what? We just fuck and mess around and don't care about each other?" He demanded, his eyes focused intensely on yours.
You swallowed but then nodded slowly.
He winced and bit his lip. "Fuck. I had a feeling, but I didn't realize it was this bad. I... I'll make myself more clear next time."
You coughed. "I'm sorry- what?"
"I... I don't want to just fuck around. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
You laughed at that. "Well you kinda already have to, we're legally stuck together."
He shook his head quickly. "I'm not stuck with you, I'm with you because I want to be. Because I... love you."
He got down on one knee and pressed a tender kiss to your hand. "I know I'm a little late, but will you marry me?"
You laughed again, but this time your heart felt lighter and your cheeks felt warmer. You held up your hand, flashing the ring that was already settled around your finger at him. "I already have, love. But I'd do it again in a heartbeat. In a million lifetimes. So yes, I will marry you."
Then he stands up and gives you the kiss you should've had at the altar. It's mind melting and dripping with sweetness and care. It's passionate but delicate, as if he doesn't want to break the moment. It's everything you've ever wanted.
He's everything you've ever wanted.
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strwbrryeyes · 8 months
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𖦹°。⋆ haikyuu boys as my breakup playlist
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⟡ featuring: suna, oikawa, tsukishima, atsumu
⟡ cw: angst, idk still bad at these
⟡ an: i found my old breakup playlist from three years ago and took inspiration from that so these songs are old lol. writing this was silly because im in a loving relationship but it was like i felt all the pain of a breakup again </3
⟡ part two, part three
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⟡ suna rintarou: you broke me first - tate mcrae
suna would be the one to break things off with you. when you first started dating he genuinely thought he loved you but as time went on and he became more distant, you started to feel like he was losing feelings for you so you asked him about it. in his words, "i think you were just the first girl to give me attention after my last relationship" and "im not ready for a relationship". a week later, he starts talking about all the girls that have come to him after the breakup and started talking about his hookups to you. this bothered you and hurt you deeply so you decided to cut things off with him completely and he was not a fan of this. so he tried everything to try to get you to talk to him again saying that he misses you and that he wants to get back together. you couldn't care less though, he's already broken your heart too many times for you not to notice his pattern of wanting your attention just to make you jealous or upset. in the end, it actually did end up hurting him and made him realize what he lost. he knew he fucked up but there's no going back anymore.
⟡ oikawa tooru: over breakfast - ellise
it's been a few months since oikawa left for argentina. it's been hard for the both of to be apart for so long and in completely different timezones. you could feel the connection fading but neither of you wanted to admit it because you both loved each other so much. but the longer you guys try to keep the relationship afloat, the more frequent you end up arguing over text or facetime. but you both decided that it could be something to figure out when oikawa visits for the holidays. well, the holidays come around and you finally have time to see each other and talk in person. from the moment oikawa entered your apartment, you both knew it was over. you could tell so many things have changed over the course of the last few months but instead of facing it, you just decide to spend one more night together just to have one final time to say that you tried. it was bittersweet and it hurt a lot but you didn't want the night to end. maybe you could fix this over night? in the morning everything will be better and you can set aside your differences! unfortunately, that morning, nothing had changed and you and oikawa finally came to terms with the fact that maybe you two just maybe weren't meant to be.
⟡ tsukishima kei: high definition - waterparks
when tsukishima was still part of the sendai frogs, he traveled a lot. it's not like he was off in another country like some of his old teammates and rivals, no, you lived with him. even though you two had been dating for quite some time by this point, tsukishima still had trouble expressing his love for you. he tended to push you away whenever he was stressed even though the one thing he wanted the most was your comfort and loving. he was just worried he would end up snapping at you and making you hate him. he didn't know that you'd end up upset with him regardless. you loved him so much but you don't know how long you could going on like this. i mean come on! tsukishima was always away for volleyball matches and even when he's home...it's like he's still not even there. tsukishima knew that you were starting to slip away from him so one day he sat you down and explained how he was feeling and it was finally then that you understood why he acted the way he did. you tried protesting his decision to break up with you but he kept insisting it was for the better. by the next week tsukishima had moved out leaving you alone in the once shared apartment, wishing and hoping he'd come back one day.
⟡ miya atsumu: better off - ariana grande
everyone knew that atsumu could be hot headed most of the time when it came to volleyball but what they didn't know is that it would sometimes affect your relationship with him. much like tsukishima, he would close himself off from you whenever he was mad at the world or whatever else there is that could make him upset. it was starting to get tiring for you. you felt like you had to walk on egg shells around him just so he wouldn't snap at you (wether he meant to or not- his mind would always fog up). towards the end of your relationship, you could feel yourself start to get numb in regards to your feelings towards atsumu. atsumu couldn't really tell at this point that you were losing hope for the relationship. if anything he thought everything was normal but that was only because half of the time he was too much into his own thoughts to notice any flaws between the two of you. it wasn't until he came home one day after an away game on the other side of japan and found that all of your stuff was gone along with you, that he realized nothing is what it used to be. he found a note from you that explained that you weren't happy in the relationship anymore and that you felt trapped. you also stated that you hope he figures out his issues and that you'll always be there for him if he needs but that right now you just needed space. atsumu spent that night crying and angry at himself for letting your relationship get to this point.
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eucalyptus-lvs · 2 months
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Good Luck Charm - Carmen Berzatto x Reader
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This is the first story I've posted, but I have other ideas if you guys want more. Writing has become a new outlet for me so I appreciate any constructive criticism or any thoughts you may have. Carmy is such a fun character to write for and my own personal brain rot atm. I hope to do more in the future. I also like to listen to music while I write and I feel like Again by Still Woozy goes well with this one.<3
TW: Idk honestly. Mentions of dead brothers, debt, and a heated makeout?
"You think if you scrub any harder you'll put a hole in the floor?" 
He stood quickly. Startled by your presence in the kitchen. "What are you still doing here? Thought you left like an hour ago." 
"Well, I was gonna, but then I feared if I left without you you'd still be here when I come in for my shift tomorrow.” You took a few small steps forward. As if you were worried you'd scare him off. There always seemed to be this air around you two. One that was hard to ignore in the times you had spent alone together. “Then I thought you could use some time to wind down before I attempt to push you out the door so I tried to see if I could make any progress on Mikey's paperwork." 
"Did you?" Tossing the rag into the container and moving his hands to his hips. 
"I think that would depend on your definition of progress"
"Yeah, well I haven't exactly been able to figure that shit out either." 
"We'll figure it out, Carm."
He sighed and looked around the kitchen. "I've just got a couple more-" 
"Nope." You take strides across the kitchen to get to him. "Those couple things will turn into another couple things until you've managed to work yourself into an early grave from exhaustion. I mean you're a head chef and you frequently forget to eat. It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke." You laugh, trying to reach for the keys to the restaurant. Only for him to snatch them off the counter and out of arms reach. "Carmy-" 
"Nice try" He moved them out of reach again. 
"Will you just-" You attempt to reach for them again as he manages to move them further from you.
“Oooh, you were so close that time.” Leaning against the counter, he barks out a laugh. Probably a product of the years he had spent smoking. 
“Cut it out. C’mon.” You said shyly ducking your head a bit. 
“Sorry, just enjoyin’ this way too much.'' He covered his mouth with his hand to hide his growing grin. There was something about you that he found so comfortable. He wonders if that's the reason he finds himself being so bold in this moment. 
Leaning to the side, you prop yourself against the counter next to him. Settling in and resigning to the fact that he is not going to make getting him out the door easy for you. “You were one of those guys in high school, weren't you?” Narrowing your eyes a bit. 
“An’ what kinda guy would that be?” He challenged.
“Y'know- The guy. Mr. Fuckin’ Popular. Had the girls lining up for you. Always good for a laugh.” Your teasing tone let him know that you weren't all that upset at him poking fun at you. 
“Think the only laugh I'd be good for is if you knew how wrong you were.” 
“Bullshit.” You shot back, shaking your head. 
“No, really. I uh- pretty much stuck to myself. Just hung around Mikey and Richie. The family mostly. Was too fuckin’ awkward to make my own friends. Had this stutter too. Didn't really bother talkin’ to anyone if I didn't have to.” This time he ducked his head. Scratching the back of it like he was embarrassed to admit it.
“Well, you don't seem to have a problem talking to me.” 
He shrugged. “It's different. Different time too.”
Your eyes met for a moment as you both took a pause. “I think we would have been good friends.” 
“Bullshit. You wouldn't have even noticed me.”
“I would have noticed you.” You affirmed with such conviction he almost believed it.
Looking at you now he imagines that if you had met then his life would look very different. He wouldn't have been a couple hundred grand in the hole with a sandwich shop he only had because his brother killed himself. You would have been there for all of it.
Chicago, Paris, Copenhagen, New York. Every destination and every major moment.
You would have been together. 
If he really indulges himself, he thinks maybe even with a kid on the way. Of all the what-ifs that came to mind, there was only one thing he knew for sure.
You were the real deal.
He allows himself to stay in this bubble with you and before he can think about any consequences he responds. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” You whispered. Nodding your head as you both start to lean closer.
Timedly you take your time to meet in the middle. Each gives the other an opportunity to back out, but neither of you takes it. Once your lips touched it felt like a shock to his system. You'd usually been so soft, almost cautious in your dealings with him. 
But this was not that.
You pressed yourself against him. Kissing him fiercely and with so much need he was worried that if he tried to open his eyes it would have all been a dream. Another cruel joke his mind had played on him only to wake up alone. Reminding him of all the things he never felt he could have.
Your hands card up into his hair, tugging at the stands. He lets out a deep groan as he switches positions to place you between himself and the counter.
He realizes now how much of a habit it is for you to look out for him. While everyone took the first chance they got to go home, you stayed behind to make sure he would get rest. Then, you took that extra time to try and figure out the clusterfuck of paperwork sitting on his desk.
You show no signs of discomfort as his hands begin to trail your body. Pushing you further against the counter to get as close to you as physically possible. He almost thought he could feel your heart pounding as your chest pressed against his, but knew it was more likely that it was his own. So caught up in you that every detail of this moment felt fuzzy and distorted.
So caught up he didn't realize you started grinding against each other.
One hand cupped around the back of your neck to keep you in place. The other moved down to your ass to aid your movement as you hooked a leg over his hip. His chest burned and heaved. Breath heavy from being cut off from oxygen for so long, but not wanting to break the moment. He wanted to give you something to remember. Not screaming during lunch rush or getting into a fistfight with a guy in a fuckin’ carrot costume.
Something good.
There weren't many times in his life he felt particularly lucky, but when he moved his head down to mouth at your neck. He'd never felt so lucky in his life.
Your head tipped back, letting out a chocked sigh. Followed by the ‘uh, uh, uh’ perfectly timed with the movement of your hips against his growing length. Gripping a hand on the back of his shirt to keep him in place. He imagines that this is the closest he will get to redemption, to happiness, after having spent years in the hellscape that was the New York kitchen. 
When he tried to lift you on the counter the large metal mixing bowl sitting to the side of you came crashing to the ground. The loud reverberation causes you to break away from each other. Effectively bursting the blissfully passionate bubble. 
Your hand moved to your neck where his mouth had been. Almost certain there would be marks left behind to remind you of this moment for days to come. As you both tried to regulate your breathing Carmy couldn't help staring. Opening his mouth like he had something he wanted to say, but couldn't quite articulate what that thing was. You slide off the counter and attempt to straighten your clothes while keeping your eyes on the floor. You always had a hard time meeting his gaze when he looked at you like that. Like if he looked hard enough he might find something that wasn't there before. 
“It's probably a good thing we got interrupted. Things were getting kinda heated.” You forced a chuckle. 
Shit.
This was it.
You're about to tell him this was all a mistake. A heat of the moment thing that you got caught up in and you now regret. As quickly as he had you, he was gonna lose you. Another goddamn shoe was gonna drop. “No, y-yeah. I don’ want you to think-”
Your gaze returned to him. “I think if we took this any further we'd be violating about a dozen health codes after you were just on your hands and knees scrubbing the floor.”  
“I could get on my hands and knees again.” He let out, slightly dazed. Running a hand through his hair in an attempt to ground himself. 
“Jesus- Carmy.” you laugh, not knowing how else to respond. Sliding your hands down your face as it heats up in a heavy blush. 
“I-I didn't mean it like that.” But now he’s definitely thinking it.
He also thinks, rather darkly, that he's never been happier not to have an HR department. 
Truthfully, he didn't know what he meant by the comment. He just knew he wanted you and you didn't seem opposed to the idea. You haven't run away yet and that alone is enough to quiet the spiral he normally defaults to in moments of uncertainty. He had doubted himself a lot in his life, but he was sure with the way you kissed him that you wanted him the way he wanted you. “We've had a long night. Walk ya’ home?” 
“Maybe you could come up? I know for a fact you haven't eaten. I may not be award-winning, but I'm sure I could manage something edible.” The smile on your face grows slightly at the prospect.
“Yeah, that's uh- that sounds good. Let's grab our stuff and we’ll head out.” Hand grazing your lower back as he moved to guide you to the lockers.
He wonders if, for the first time in a long time, his luck has turned around.
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hellwantfuckme · 9 months
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disgust, longing, jealousy
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summary: everything points to Azriel loving Elain, so why does Eclipse feel that pull towards him?
warnings: angst(?
author's note: idk if this is good, I don't know if it's swallowable, pls keep remembering english isn't my first language:)
A feeling akin to disgust lodged itself in her chest, took root, and gripped, while the brown eyes, which always reflected what Eclipse felt, looked at the perfect image, the polar opposites. And the truth hurt, it weighed on her like a burden on her lungs, they fit together.
Elain's smile, full of shining teeth, the brown gaze that was a reflection of her own, fixed on the man sitting next to her. He was closer to Elain than he had been with Eclipse in months. It was purely Eclipse's fault, but that didn't make it any more manageable. The sound of Elain's laughter was soft, low. As if the two of them were sharing a secret. If Eclipse had been paying attention to the conversation she was supposed to be part of, she wouldn't have heard it. She wouldn't have noticed the way the Shadowsinger looked at Elain, a satisfied gleam in his eyes, a genuine half-smile. But Eclipse couldn't help but notice that his eyes didn't have even a quarter of that gleam that they had when they made her laugh. She dismissed the thought. She had one evidence after another of the obvious, Azriel liked Elain. Only Elain. That's why she kept her distance, that's why she had completely ignored Azriel's presence today, the first time they had seen each other in weeks.
The sound of Elain's giggles reached her again, and she watched as Azriel leaned only subtly to whisper something that only made her smile even bigger.
Eclipse wanted to vomit.
She looked away. As much as her gaze was drawn to them, sharing a seat on the brown couch, she forced herself to focus on the person who was talking, Cassian. She didn't realize it was him telling the anecdote until she saw his lips moving to utter the words, he was also smiling, probably for a different reason. But the slightest furrow of the brow found a home on his face. A suspicious sideways glance, that was all Cassian dedicated to Eclipse. As if he had noticed how her attention had been on Elain and Azriel, with a carefully neutral expression. Eclipse heard a laugh in the background, Mor, quickly identified. The alcohol making her feel more free, her voice trembling imperceptibly.
Eclipse knew that Cassian suspected something, but as the careful person she was, she made sure to push down what she felt. Disgust, longing, jealousy. She pushed and pushed until there was no trace of it visible in her sharp features, until it seemed that she had just been momentarily distracted by the sound of her cousin's laughter and wondered what had caused it. Putting it all together in her head, the perfect excuse, the perfect reactions, helped her maintain, at least, a faint semblance of strength for herself. She still had control over something, at least. Or so she wanted to convince herself as she reached for the coffee table, took the barely touched wine glass, and took a sip. Her gaze dancing between Mor and Cassian, between the exchanged words.
Eclipse didn't know if keeping up the act made her a bad person, if that disgust she felt really only should be directed at herself. How could the sound of her cousin being happy disgust her?
She had distanced herself from Azriel, just as she had from Elain. She had accepted the invitation to live in the newly built house of Feyre and Rhys, only because it would avoid both of them. She hoped, even though in a corner of her mind it was nothing more than a foolish thought, that whatever her problem with both of them was would dissipate with space. That corner of her mind was the same one that told her that no matter how much time, or space, she could put between them, the feeling would persist.
Eclipse needed another sip, and then another. And the air in the room became heavier, the crackling of the logs in the fireplace became louder than the voices, and her skin was overheated. Eclipse exhaled.
She tried not to tense up when the melodic sound of Elain's laughter reached her ears again, a low murmuring following it, as if Azriel continued with the joke.
The pain in her chest thickened, for a moment, Eclipse felt it thicken so much that she wouldn't be able to get out of it. Because it was Elain he was making laugh, because the pull in her chest towards him urged her to approach.
She didn't understand. But what did she understand at this point? Eclipse stood up from the chair, clearing her throat.
"I think I'll go outside for some fresh air," she murmured. Her voice weak, her eyes fixed on nowhere as she made her way out of the room. She didn't look at anyone, didn't let anyone see the reflection of pain in her eyes.
"Is everything okay?" Cassian asked. Eclipse just hummed an affirmation, hurrying to lead her footsteps away.
She felt a gaze follow her, she knew whose gaze it was, because it was the one that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. The ghostly touch of a shadow entwined itself around her wrist, and when Eclipse looked, the shadow was already fading, returning to its owner, she supposed.
She also faded from the room, like that shadow. Only she carried feelings.
Muscle memory guided her through the corridors of the House of Wind, quick steps until she reached the nearest balcony. A vast balcony that showed Velaris in the distance.
The stars shone above her, Eclipse walked until she was facing the railing, her hands leaning on the cold stone, offering only a slight comfort. It was cold stone, not frozen, it wouldn't bite her skin, it wouldn't make her forget the oppression in her chest. Eclipse closed her eyes, exhaling the air from her lungs so slowly that she needed oxygen before she finished expelling it all.
«Yes, Eclipse. How discreet of you, you didn't leave the room like a drama queen just because you heard her laugh or anything.» her conscience scolded her sarcastically. She just lifted her chocolate gaze to the star-filled sky, letting the icy air fill her lungs.
Why? Why did everything have to be so complicated? She had met hundreds of men, and why, of all those, did she have to like the man who already had another woman in his heart?
Deep down she knew the answer. If she were selfish, she would say it was because he seemed made for her. In every sense of the word. He was everything she had been looking for, both consciously and unconsciously.
And he liked her cousin.
How ridiculous. It was simply ridiculous. She let out a sigh laden with anxiety, her elbows leaning on the railing and her hands covering her face, and then the long, well-cared-for nails crossed her hair.
Why? Hadn't the being that controlled her life's cruel joke seen her suffer enough? What more did they expect from her? What more could she do! She felt like shouting it to the sky.
She had been so lost in her thoughts that she had missed the subtle change in the atmosphere, as the shadows in the right corner seemed to darken, and their movement became irregular. The only warning of Azriel's presence, before the sound of footsteps echoed from the hallway. The sound approached, until Eclipse could see from the corner of her eye Azriel's tall figure.
He didn't look at her, he stood by her side. Hands in his pockets as he gazed forward, exactly the same thing she had been looking at, the sky. Eclipse knew that if he had wanted to, he would have been silent. He probably would have made noise just to not startle her.
Eclipse exhaled, composed herself, leaving her cold hands on the railing, focusing her gaze elsewhere. If only she could control the way her heart fluttered as his scent, cedar and mist, filled her nostrils and lungs. It made her slightly dizzy. If only it wasn't inappropriate to approach, to breathe in a bit more of his scent. This was the first time they were so close in weeks, Eclipse wondered if he would bring up the subject.
The silence that accompanied Azriel was an invitation, unspoken by him, but it was there. Eclipse didn't feel like giving him any explanation, about anything, mostly because her tongue felt heavy, numb against her palate. And to mumble foolish words, Eclipse would rather not say anything.
The silence enveloped both of them, Eclipse looked down at her fingers while Azriel directed his towards her, a silent question. Eclipse's fingers nervously intertwined, and only after a few seconds, she relented. His gaze was so heavy that she just wanted him to stop looking at her, but as soon as he did, she would long for it. Because she was complicated, and he was a man who did not correspond to her secret feelings.
"I just needed some air," she murmured, without raising her gaze, hoping that was what he was looking for.
"Did Cassian smother you with his embarrassing stories?" he joked, or attempted to, his voice as smooth as silk holding a light, playful undertone. Her breathing became heavy.
Ah, so Cassian had been talking about that. Eclipse swallowed, with a very conscious change of opinion, she looked up, meeting his gaze. With his brow so subtly furrowed that it was imperceptible, with his eyes holding a worried gleam. For a moment, the world stopped. For just a moment he was the only one, while his gaze held hers, probing to see what he could find. At some point, they had been close enough for Azriel to realize how easily her feelings reflected in her eyes. He had always had an easy time reading her, as if she were an open book, and that seeded a thorn of fear.
She looked away after just a couple of seconds, feeling like he was probing every corner of her. Not that she wanted to let him see her vulnerability. She feared that, somehow, he could know. All those embarrassing feelings she harbored about him and Elain together.
"I suffocate myself, I don't need Cassian to say anything," Eclipse told him, a gentle shrug pretending to release some tension in her back.
Azriel didn’t miss the gesture, and he scrutinized her, as if wondering what had caused that tension. If perhaps it had something to do with him.
Eclipse licked her lips, not feeling brave enough to raise her gaze again. To meet his, not while her heart continued to beat frantically. She wondered if he could hear it.
And as if his shadows had heard her doubts, she felt something pressing against the fabric of her thin dress, just above her heart. As though they were trying to calm it, to say "you have nothing to worry about". And she wanted to tell them yes, she worried because she couldn’t like Azriel. That made her a horrible cousin, and also, stupid. Azriel, with a neutral, cold, and disciplined expression, hadn't given her even the slightest signal that he felt the same.
The shadows, as if they understood, left her chest, smoothly moving towards her intertwined hands on the railing. They offered a gentle caress, a gentle comfort.
Eclipse accepted that it was a good way to help her, tilting her head only slightly, with curiosity. "I'm sorry," Azriel breathed, his brow deeply furrowed. As if he had been making a great effort to subdue the shadows again, they finally relented.
"What are you apologizing for?" by the way Azriel looked at her, she assumed her tone must have reflected a little sadness at losing the wonderful shadows. "It's nothing," she assured him, with all the certainty she could muster. "They're...curious."
Azriel looked at her for a few more moments, drinking in every little gesture, every little reaction in Eclipse's face. As if he wanted to decipher whether she truly thought so.
Eclipse felt uncomfortable under Azriel's gaze, she simply sighed.
"I should go back inside."
"Why? Why should you?" Azriel's statement almost came out as an exclamation, and she hadn't expected it. She blinked, searching for a response. The silence settled between them once again, and Eclipse lowered her gaze. He exhaled through his nose.
"I'm sorry, Eclipse. I'm just trying to understand you."
His usual neutral features softened, his gaze becoming milder. Eclipse realized today the green predominated in those hazel eyes. Azriel hesitantly took a step towards her, and when she didn't move away, nor backed up in any way, he took another step. They were so close now, Eclipse's heart was pounding in her ears like a drum, and his scent was intoxicating. She considered stepping back, but a part of her urged her to stay, a small part hidden in her chest that seemed to connect her to Azriel by a thread, kept her in place.
She had to gently stretch her neck to look up at him due to his height, and he held her gaze.
"I don't know what you're trying to understand," Eclipse said, her voice weak and low. Her shoulders lifted a little as she spoke the words, even though she really knew what he meant. But acknowledging it would be like admitting everything she had been feeling for months, the whole labyrinth in her mind, one in which Azriel seemed to be lost, desperately trying to find a way out.
Although it was only the subtle desperation in his eyes that hinted at such a thing.
Eclipse looked away.
"You're avoiding me," Azriel stated, his voice holding a sad tone. Guilty, one that inevitably pressed a dagger against her. Eclipse feared to raise her gaze, to face all those emotions she had caused. But it was best for both of them. Better to keep a distance than to be uncomfortable in each other's presence.
"Is it because of something I've done?"
Eclipse was stunned, every muscle in her body tensed. Her brow furrowed. She was a coward, she knew it. She knew. No. How could it possibly be because of something he had done?
Azriel just pressed the tip of his finger under her chin, lifting it. Forced her brown eyes to meet his again. The way Azriel was looking at her almost took her breath away.
"Eclipse," he almost begged. "Tell me what happened, so that I can fix it."
Her eyebrows curved, Eclipse opened her mouth, but no sound came out so she simply closed it again. Eclipse took a deep breath, trying not to drown in his gaze. Trying not to drown in the feeling.
"It's not because of you, Azriel. It's not about you. I... There's no way I can explain it correctly."
"I'm sorry for distancing myself without telling you, I’m sorry for making you think it's your fault," Eclipse said, with every ounce of honesty in her body. "It's just that I can't..."
"You can't what?"
"I can't do this, Azriel. I just can't," the pressure in her chest increased, he didn’t know what she was talking about. His brows furrowed.
"It's already hard enough to ignore that pull that constantly drags me towards you. Don't make this any harder," she pleaded, and she knew she was saying too much. Her eyes stung.
"Eclipse, what are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about not being able to stay away from you, and you like Elain."
The truth hit her like a bucket of cold water. And Eclipse hoped, prayed, for a moment, that he would tell her that he felt the same pull too. That he also...
"Oh," Azriel took a step back, it was the largest gap they had left between themselves. It was hard for him to process. One second, two.
Horror crossed Eclipse's features momentarily. The rejection was clear. So clear. Eclipse felt a lump in her throat, one that she swallowed just to say the following words.
"You both deserve to be happy, and it seems like you're heading that way."
Eclipse said, her voice firmer than she could manage was barely a whisper, just loud enough for him to hear.
And he looked at her, as if still in disbelief. As if he was still processing it. Eclipse couldn't bear any more rejection, not when being there was a one-ton weight on her chest and her eyes stung.
She was just a fool, one who had fallen in love with the wrong male.
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moonferry · 3 months
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yk when u want a specific type of content but it like doesn't exist so u have to make it urself..
anyway have some bachelors x masc farmer ideas/headcanons/rambles. idk i just say words. long post so strap in, folks! honestly these could be considered gn if u squint bc i don't really use masc pronouns in the writing, however there are mentions of masc labels (boyfriend, husband)
mentions of internalized homophobia + depression
i may do bachelorettes x fem farmer next so stay tuned :3
harvey:
- wears his boyfriend's/husband's shirts. literally no exceptions. if you wore it, he is going to wear it too. you left a shirt at his place? oh. it's his now. and he's going to be smiling the entire time he wears it. this being said, i think he'd totally be like T____T it doesn't smell like you anymore and ask for a different one.
- loves to compliment your appearance or just you in general (in my play through he literally says "you look so handsome. did you shave?" like 3 times a week)
- personally, i see harvey as being bisexual + super open about it. like everyone in town supports him & they're so ecstatic for him when they see he has a boyfriend.
- if you have yet to ask him out, though, and he's realizing his feelings i think it would be very hard for him to hide them. someone could be asking him something and you walk into the clinic? his entire train of thought is GONE. i'm talking they have to wave their hand in front of his face to get his attention back.
- don't even get me STARTED on if you propose. he'd literally walk into the clinic, slam his coffee on the reception desk and be like, "MARU, LOOK." pretty sure he fainted and maru had to fan him back to consciousness.
elliott:
- despite elliott's openness with his own sexuality, i think he was terrified of your rejection. not too terrified obviously because something something inspiration from painful experiences yada yada. if you ended up not being interested in him, he probably would've gotten over it - but don't be surprised if you notice some strange subtext in his writing. he's a romantic writer - if he has feelings, they're going to get written down. sorry folks.
- but * yay * you didn't reject him, so elliott is still inspired. maybe you even become the next love interest in his newest novel? who knows.
- in his 14 heart event, he writes a series of letters to you because he has to leave pelican town for a week. i absolutely loved this idea and i think elliott would do this even if he was in the town. they could be something as mundane as what he did that day/week and he just. put it in the mailbox. you still enjoy reading them, though.
- i think he absolutely loves using "my" like "my man", "my husband" "my beloved" just anything, really. he loves you so much - and he knows he doesn't own you, obviously, he's just so glad he is lucky enough to call you his.
alex:
- i think alex was TERRIFIED of falling in love with you. in his 10 heart event, he mentions telling himself that he shouldn't experience these feelings for another man. every act of kindness you showed him ate away at his heart and it drove him crazy.
- i think he experienced a little internal homophobia before finally realizing that it was okay. it doesn't help that george is so adamant about him finding a girlfriend (and that george has a little homophobic arc 🥲). alex probably internalized these ideas and pushed himself into his gridball/weightlifting obsession to quiet his mind.
- after he finally worked up the courage to tell you how he felt - and was entirely relieved when you felt the same way - it was as if a weight removed itself from his chest. he could finally breathe again. the world seemed different - in a good way. colors were more vivid, sounds were more pleasing to hear, the earth felt solid underneath his feel for once. he wasn't afraid of anything, especially not with you beside him.
- now, he proudly walks around the town with your hand in his, smiling to himself.
- sometimes those thoughts start to seep back in, though. like when he's about to sleep at night and his brain just can't shut up. he starts to hate himself again, and then he feels you press against him or hears you mutter in your sleep and his heart softens.
- also he got george and evelyn shirts that say "i love my gay grandson" they wear them proudly.
shane:
- surprised that anyone took a romantic interest in him, not surprised by the fact that you're a guy.
- i don't think shane has a "preference" for dating someone, he goes based off of vibes + personality rather than gender or appearance. he also doesn't label himself or his sexuality/romantic attraction.
- he's definitely a shirt lender. like you see a nice jacket in his closet and you're like "hey, hun, can i borrow this?" "sure."
- thinks you look amazing in his clothes. probably puts the best ones on hangers (or at the top of the clothing pile) in hopes that you'd choose them.
- even if he doesn't show it outwardly, he's super afraid of losing you. because of his mental illness, he can't help but think that every good thing he has will be taken away from him or that he "doesn't deserve" them. (he does, and you often remind him of this if he gets too into his head).
- i picture him reaching over and placing a hand on your arm in the middle of the night JUST to make sure you were still there and not the universe playing a cruel joke on him.
- can cook, but he's so used to making frozen dinners that he often forgets to.
- if you're taller than him, forehead kisses are a MUST. he will not let you leave the farmhouse until he receives his daily forehead kiss.
- i think he loves being the little spoon. it just makes him feel safer, more grounded in a way. he's been at the point where it feels like nothing is permanent and it can all end in the blink of an eye, so being spooned helps him realize that it isn't all that bad and that it will be okay, given the right time and effort.
- shane definitely falls asleep on his husband's chest like.. once a week.
- because mental illness is a constant battle, i imagine shane still gets "bad days". but don't worry! his loving husband is here to help. shane's depressive episodes usually consist of lying in bed (often for days at a time) and it's extremely hard for him to do anything. but the farmer is used to this - he's definitely read up on mental health books and how to support someone with depression. the farmer never tries to force shane out of bed or tells him that he needs to "get over it". the farmer often checks on him in between their farm duties. i imagine when the farmer is completely finished, they sits down on the edge of the bed and play with shane's hair or rubs their hand up and down his back:
"hey shane, are you okay?"
"i will be."
"i love you, chickadee."
"i know."
"do you want some ice cream?"
"yes, please."
sam:
- by far, the most "affectionate"? in a way.
- sammy loves pda im sorry. if you two are walking along, he has to be touching you in some way - whether it's holding your hand. your arm looped through his own, your hand in his hoodie pocket, etc. he just needs physical contact. i also think he'd look at you with big, wet eyes and wait until you kiss him.
- he takes you to band practice !!! seb and abby don't really mind, and you even offer some input on how they should approach their next song.
- absolute golden retriever boyfriend. can and will curl up on your lap and cuddle against you (even if he's ridiculously tall and lanky).
- if and when you attend all his shows/concerts, he definitely pulls you on stage once the set it over and kisses you publicly - sebastian and abigail just roll their eyes (this happens every single time. they're used to it).
- probably has your name written on his guitar.
- i think kent and jodi would be some of the most supportive people ever - they're just happy their son found someone to be with, regardless of gender.
- i think kent would probably sit you down and give you "the talk" about *grumble grumble* if you break my son's heart *grumble grumble*. not that you would, obviously, you adore sam. but kent's words do put the fear of god in you - this is the man who sends you bombs in the mail as a "friendly gesture"
- don't let that fool you, though, kent will be an absolute waterfall if you and sam get married. i also think he'd be more of a "ask for his blessing" before proposing kind of guy, but he'd give it willingly.
- sam loves it when you run a hand through his hair (if he had a tail, it would be wagging).
- sam puppyboy au? thinking thoughts...
sebastian:
- i think the only one surprised that seb has a boyfriend is seb himself. he always pictured himself a "loner for life" and DEFINITELY didn't expect to fall in love with this weird farm boy.
- he probably spends more time at the farm house/wherever you two hang out than his own home. but who could blame him?
- he was so confused about his feelings that he ended up talking to maru for help (crazy, right?) the two of them built a pillow fort near maru's telescope and spent hours talking. it was quiet nice. this helped him realize two things: 1) maybe his sister wasn't all that bad and 2) he was DEFINITELY in love with another man. he didn't know which was more confusing.
- i think sebastian likely confessed first in a sort of "nonchalant" way. i think the conversation went like this:
farmer,teasing: "oooh, you wanna kiss me sooo bad it makes you look stupid."
seb: "yeah, i do."
neither of you were prepared for that. i think he would ease the tension by just. ignoring what he just said.
- i think he smiles like a frog . a sort of :} if you will. like bulbasaur.
- speaking of bulbasaur, that is definitely his favorite pokémon. oh and froakie. he just like the little frog dudes. would love you forever if you won him a plushie from the claw machine.
- it's no secret that seb often thinks no one would notice if he left, but getting closer to you made him realize that.. someone would. and maybe that's enough.
- if he stays up late working on a project, just walk over to his desk and wrap him into a back hug. bonus points if you voice is gravelly from sleep. "let's go to bed, sebby." he'd melt. like full on puddle on the ground.
- because sebastian is like 5'6 you'd think he enjoys being the small spoon. WRONG!!! he is a big spoon exclusively. you don't mind, though.
- he would die if you played with his hands while cuddling. please give this boy some physical affection. he deserves it.
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kozachenko · 7 months
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[Click image for better quality]
I FIGURED OUT A WAY TO FUCKING MAKE THE IMAGE SMALLER FOR POSTING ON TUMBLR WITHOUT SACRIFICING THE ACTUAL QUALITY OF THE IMAGE OH MY GOD
Ok so, what I did is go into the clip studio paint file, make a new file, copy and paste the group in the original file, merge everything, get rid of the extra stuff outside of the canvas, and then make the flattened image smaller and crop the canvas. Once you have that, export it and you're done. This helps maintain the actual quality of the image and also helps shrink the file size down to something actually postable (if anyone has a better way of doing this please tell me)
[Edit]: Ok I guess posting something to Tumblr just naturally compresses the image a bit more somehow because I'm looking at it now and zooming in too much makes it a bit blurry so I'm still gonna have to futz around with image quality for future pieces oof
Artist's Note:
I'm so glad I figured out a way to do this because I like working on a big canvas so I can get as much detail in as I possibly can. Only problems are how laggy it gets while drawing lol.
I had an idea for a drawing with Reimu and Zanmu because I really like thinking about their potential dynamic a lot. I also wanted an excuse to draw Zanmu again but in my normal rendering style because last time I drew her she was in my more sketchy style with generally flat colours so I wanted to draw her again. Speaking of, looking at the sketch for this is a jumpscare that I never enjoy seeing, like, man am I glad I didn't use those for my final piece.
Also about her spear. I was originally gonna make it like the ones she had in game, but it kinda threw off the whole piece. It was too big, too blue, and too flat, so I just went "fuck it" and gave her a different one instead. My headcanon justifying this is that the ones she uses in game are for danmaku battles whereas in any other fight she just uses a proper yari, or she still uses the yari and just makes it all glowy to power it up, maybe both lol. I pulled as much inspiration as I could from Sengoku era spears, and even put in some blue into the decorative part of the spear and also added a little skull to pay tribute to the original spear. Also, in my research I saw some art of izanami and izanagi making japan and saw that the yari izanagi has had a little decorative tassley thingy on it so I took some inspo from that and just made it one of Zanmu's tassles (Idk when that art was from or if the spear was still accurate to Sengoku period Japan but hey, probably the same reasons Eirin puts little bow ties on her arrows, it's just for personalization purposes).
I love rendering hair and clothes so much omg, while I like the super curly hair Zanmu, the longer, wavier hair suits her better for this drawing (I imagine it only does that like how Ghibli characters hair moves when they feel angry lol). I love making Zanmu's hair all messy and crazy, as well as giving her grey hairs, this woman has aged like a fine wine. Also, if the hem on the ends of her sleeves, top of her shirt, and her pants look like gold to you, that's because it is! It's fairly light so she's not collapsing under the weight, but it's gold! (I don't care how impractical it is, it's just cool). Not the undershirt though, it's made of a gold fabric. I had a cute idea with Reimu's hair to make it have a red shine to it. I also changed up Reimu's outfit so it isn't just a blob of red. I like it a lot when Reimu's skirt and outfit is segmented into different layers, so I wanted to incorporate that.
I tried to draw their hands differently as well, but IDK how noticeable that is. Also, I am super happy with how the side profiles for the two of them turned out, I used to struggle a lot with how to make the side profile of a character actually look like the character, so I'm really happy that they actually look like themselves.
Also added in the tree and rocks in the background as an homage to Zanmu's character art in Touhou 19, just because I was getting kinda stumped on what to do with the background lol.
In terms of a story idea with Reimu and Zanmu, idk why but the potential plotline of Zanmu wanting to ascend to godhood is so fascinating to me. Like, it is very possible that if she just convinced everyone she was a god (which would be very easy for her to do), she would become one in a heartbeat. Also, if she were to become a god, with her ability to return stuff to nothing, could she hypothetically get similar abilities to (Jojo Part 5 spoiler btw) GER? Like, idk about the death timeloop stuff, but the concept has been haunting me every night as I have been trying to find loopholes in GER's ability for a while now ( for no reason in particular). Back to the main topic, I imagine that she would probably tell Reimu that if she were to become a god she would take over the Hakurei shrine since the god there might as well be dead, and Reimu just says to her, "Over my dead body bitch." Like, I have no idea how to summarize their dynamic but like, it's the type of hero-villain dynamic where the phrase "We're not so different, you and I" would definitely be a phrase said during a fight. I think that if another IN style game were to release, Reimu and Zanmu would be in a team together. They could also have an interesting mentor and pupil kind of dynamic. Can you tell that Zanmu has been charging my mind rent these part few months? Like, instead of living in my head rent free, she kinda just uno reversed the whole situation and now she's the one charging me rent. What happens if I get evicted from my own brain? Actually, scratch that, I don't think I wanna know.
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fubu18writes · 7 months
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❧a sugar daddy always treats his sugar baby right
♢regular tags: sugar daddy!kokonoi, sugar baby!reader, f!reader, established relationship, a bit fluffy ♢mature tags: age gap (koko is in his mid-thirties, reader is in their early 20s), oral (fem receiving), a bit of cock worship if you squint, nipple play if you also squint, idk what it's called but reader puts koko's dick inbetween her breasts (i think it's a titjob or titfucking look idk about this), squirting ♢all characters are 18+ until stated otherwise
a/n: imma just say that... kokonoi can be gentle if he wanted to, okay?
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After spending the day drinking vodka by the pool, you returned to your hotel room... only to discover that you were locked out. A cleaning lady eyed her suspiciously as you wander around the hall with only a bikini and a towel to cover your body.
And because you were a little bit angry at your boyfriend Kokonoi, you decided to stay in separate hotel rooms. Luckily... he was staring on the same floor as you.
You were hesitant once you made it to his room number, but you decided to throw your pride away and just knock on the door.
A few seconds pass by before you heard the door unlock, revealing Koko. "Baby, what happened?" He asks, looking at your shivering figure. You looked away, a bit embarrassed. "...I lost my room key." You managed to say.
He lets you in, and you examine the room a little. The room was dimly lit, and papers were neatly placed on the table. Koko handed you a bathrobe soon after. "I'll set up the coffee, okay?" He says as he heads off into the kitchen.
You put the bathrobe on and take a seat on one of the seats near the window. Koko came back with two cups and a kettle, and you were looking at the view. "Wow... your view is so much nicer than mine," You say. You hear Koko chuckle. "Well, you can come here at any time."
"I'm sorry about all of this," You apologize, referring to the fight you had a few days ago.
Koko shook his head. "No, don't apologize. It was my fault for not telling you anyway." He reassures.
There was a comfortable silence as he poured the coffee in the cups, admiring him as he does so. Long, white hair, cat-like eyes, a black polo shirt and khakis. While he may be snarky and cocky in public, to you, he was one of the sweetest persons you could ever ask for. Even if the age difference was a little jarring at first.
In other words, you found Kokonoi Hajime irresistable.
The both of you talked, laughed, and flirted for about an hour or so. By this time, you came out of the bathroom, all dried up. Koko was sipping some whiskey from his glass, and looked at you with a smile. "Your hair looks pretty like that, all curly." He says with a chuckle.
"Ah... no, I feel goofy with curly hair..." You say, your face turning red.
Koko let out another chuckle, rolling the ice cubes in his glass. "Not at all, really. And considering that we're not in the office..." His tone was definitely suggesting something, and you could feel it. "We can do whatever we want here..." He finishes, placing the glass down on the table before putting a hand on your thigh. At that, you leaned in and kissed him, the faint taste of whiskey still lingering on his lips.
The kiss was incredible. The bathrobe became untied as they traded tongues. She felt his grip on her thigh, his touch firm yet restrained. When you both pulled away from the kiss, you took his hand and led him to the couch. Koko was sitting, yet you were still standing up. Koko reclines, and you noticed the contour of his swelling dick in his pants. You leaned over, placing your hands on his upper thighs, allowing your breasts to dangle in front of his face.
"I just dried myself up, daddy," You say with a giggle. "You're going to make me all wet again..."
Koko let out a grin as you go down, carefully unbuttoning his pants. You pull them down, seeing his boxers and the head of his dick poking out of the bottom. You slowly climbed on top of Koko, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you both kissed again.
Koko's hands stay firm on your ass as you grind on his hardened shaft. You were the first to pull away from the kiss, untying the strings of your bikini top, throwing it to the side to show your breasts and hardened nipples. "Look how my baby's turned on f'me..." Koko took her left one in his hand, and brought the pink nipple into his mouth.
You threw your head back in ecstasy. He lightly licked your nipple, and you could feel your bikini bottom becoming damp again. You clumsily pulled off his boxers, his dick springing up as you took it in your hand. His girth was impressive, and your hand looked small by comparison as you gently squeezed dick. You heard Koko groaning, giving you lustful eyes. "You like touching daddy's cock, baby?"
"I do..." You say with a shy whisper. "It's so big...~" You continue before kissing him again, crawling over to him on the other side of the couch. Koko took your ankles, jerking your hips close to him. You had curious anticipation in your eyes, and you let out a gasp when he tore away your bikini bottoms in one forceful tug. Koko saw your smile, your hair frizzy in the dim light before eyeing your pussy hungrily. He thumbed her glossed lips, taking her into his mouth as you grip onto his hair.
Koko could feel you squirming, and that only drove him to go deeper. The grip on his hair suddenly tightened as you moaned out, "Oh, fuck...~ daddy, do it more...~" and grinded on his face. Your ankles were shivering with pleasure, with Koko's hand on her inner thigh, and squeezed her breasts with the other. He pinched the edges of her nipple.
It was too much, all too much. You were close to cumming on his face before Koko came out for air, brushing his hair out of his face. The both of you were panting like animals from the sensation. You moved, turning yourself over and you felt the fabric of the couch on your nipples. You hoisted your ass in the air, despite your trembling legs. You turned to him, sounding out of breath as you asked, "Do you have a condom, daddy?"
Koko had one, of course... but he wasn't going to get it yet. "I wanna focus on my baby for a while longer, 'kay?" He asks her.
You weren't used to it. Or used to this for that matter. The farthest the both of you ever gone was just you sucking on his cock and him eating you out, but this? Nothing of the sort yet.
Maybe that was the advantage of being with an older man... he probably knew you were ready.
Without warning, Koko had licked your clit, sliding his fingers inside of her. Seeing you in this state made all the blood rush to his cock. He kept licking and playing until your toes curled, moaning out "Daddy, I-I'm gonna--!" and finally exploded into his mouth. You were out of breath, and all Koko could do was lick up every last drop of your cum. "Baby, you squirted all over...~" He says with a chuckle.
You were a bit embarrassed. "S-Sorry, daddy... it just felt too good..."
"You think you're ready for daddy's cock?" Koko asks as he leaves kisses on your neck. You only tilt your head to the side, managing out a whimper as he bites down on your sweet spot. "I think that's a yes."
Koko stood up, walking over to the bathroom and returned with a condom, his dick saluting her. He fixes the bathrobe, draping it on the couch. Koko applied the condom right in front of you. You could only clench against nothing, and you swore that you saw his cock twitch.
You held your breath, as she felt Koko gliding behind her. The couch began to creak, and you felt his tip just against your pussy before he slid the head inside of you. "T-Too big...~!" You moaned out, your legs shaking again as you gripped on the armrest. "Tell me if it hurts," He says earnestly as his fingers graze her hip.
Like a dream, their bodies move together in a timeless rhythm. You slowly eased his cock into you and rode him steadily. The soft glow of the lamp, their skin gleaming with sweat. "Fuuckkk...~" You moaned out. "D-Daddy...~ F-Fuck me deeper...~"
Koko slapped his hand on your ass, earning another moan from you. "Say that again, baby~"
"F-Fuck me deeper...~!" You moaned loudly.
The sound of their fucking echoed in the hotel room. You had to stabilize yourself, lowering your left leg until you felt the carpet on your bare foot. "Oh god, oh god...!" Your tits sway back and forth. "It feels s-so good, f-fuck me harder...~!"
You came a second time, with him inside as your spine cringed and curved. You let out a shout until your voice ran out. You saw Koko looming over you, and he takes off the condom with his left hand, jerking himself off.
You pressed your tits in between his cock, helping him. "Oh, fuck, baby..." He out a groan, his cock twitching as he released his essence all over. You felt his warm, white cum all generously all over your chest.
They basked in the afterglow of their sex, breathless. "Shit..." You say with a laugh. "I can't stop smiling..."
"You were incredible, baby." Koko kissed your forehead. "You held out and squirted all f'me...~"
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