#when the day comes to meet all of them ohhh ill be so happy!!!

[gnosistikos]

tell us about your friends!

OMG! well i will try not to reveal too much! but i guess it should be fine, since i never use their real names!!

ok so we have GT. hes SUCH a movie nut. he gets us all to watch all these different films with actors i do not really know. theyre kind of fun with friends but if i have to be honest i cant really imagine sitting through these myself... :P

i really cant wait to meet him!

then we have TT! she likes squiddles just like me!! i think the reasons WHY we like squiddles are a little different though... :o

shes super mysterious and wordy and kind of like emo and stuff. which is great! but it also makes it hard to shop for her since she always thinks its some epic attack on her psyche or whatever. :( bluuuh!

oh and then theres TG! hes basically the coolest guy ever LOL!!! if you could find anyone cooler than this guy you should get an award or something, thats how cool he is. sooooooo cool.

we send off remixes all the time! pchoo pchoo!! hehe

[mynameiskanade]

SILLY LITTLE MIKANADE STORY !!

the door from the bathroom opened, revealing a kanade with a towel draped over their shoulder while their hair was on top of the towel. the little waterdrops forming in the end of their strands, as the drops fell to the towel underneath. kanade stretched their arms upwards in exhaustion, before walking to their bed and sitting on it. they immediately grabbed their phone from on top of the drawer nearby, turning it on to check if theres anything new. they saw a message by a familliar someone…

[theres more under cut!] [anti selfship dni :3]

kanade, in the next day, was running through the crowds of the city. it was 09:57, almost time for them to meet with mika in the cafe. they quickly ran past the shops. they suddenly stopped running, heavily panting as they felt their heart beat quite fast. they opened their phone to see: 10:01 AM. they panicked and immediately went into the cafe as the bell in front of the door rings. a familliar person quickly noticed it, and a dopey, wide smile crept onto his face when he saw kanade.

“ kanade-chan, over her’! “

mika waved to kanade from afar, kanade walked to him and sat on one of the chairs for the table mika was in. “ …..ahh.. sorry, i was a bit late.. “ kanade said, scratching the back of their head nervously. their heart seemed to beat faster from running. “ ??.. nnahh,, its fine! i think i jus’ came too early. i was hopin’ ya’d come! “ mika reassured, patting kanades head. the waiter slowly came to their table, giving them the menu.

“ so, what do ya wanna order ? i think i’d get the donut! i know ya really like strawberry donuts, so i wanna order ‘em for the both of us.. “ mika’s cheeks became as pink as the stawberry donuts on the picture of the menu.“ …. mmm… well, if you’re ordering the donut for me, then ill just take the cappuccino. “ kanade said. “ ohhh… alright then! i’ll jus’ get donuts for us. i don’ feel like eatin’ much.. “ the waiter writes down in their notepad about kanade’s and mika’s order. the waiter then took the menu and walked away. there was a slight awkward silence between kanade and mika after the waiter left, but kanade spoke:

“ ….so.. uh… oh, right. did you know theres multiple new clothing stores in a mall i used to go to a lot as a kid? “ kanade said. “ …i was hoping you might wanna.. join shopping with me? “mika’s face immediately brightened as soon as he heard that. “ nnggahh.. i wanna go wit’ ya ! tha’ sounds fun, and .. “ mika paused for a second. “ …to think i’ll be goin’ wit’ ya.. makes m’go all fuzzy.. “

the waiter then soon arrived with the food that kanade and mika ordered. they both were happy to eat the food and drinks while chatting happily with eachother. it has been a while since kanade has been this way. they felt… attached to him. kanade tries to shake the thought off and deny it by multiple times. though.. it was obvious how kanade seemed to love chatting with mika, and how kanade was the nicest to mika. it was also obvious how kanade kept looking at how mika and shu talked with eachother, feeling a teeny tiny bit of envy. …why hasnt kanade’s heart stopped beating ever since they arrived?

….i wonder if he genuinely cares about me.

—

kanade and mika soon have entered the mall, they escalated to the fifth floor to check out the new clothes stores. the stores range from hair accessories, to multiple choices of fashion. mika was definitely excited to check the stores out, taking kanade’s hand to check those stores out. kanade was startled by the sudden action, but didnt mind one bit.they both started checking out the accessories store. there were bracelets, hairclips, extensions, and some hairbands.

“ …oh, hey. “ kanade said, picking up the multiple purple hairclips. “ …i feel like this would suit you well, mikarin. i wanna see you wearing it, maybe… “ kanade kept their neutral expression that they always have on their face, but its obvious their expression seemed a bit more happy than usual. “ oohh.. i mean.. i don’ know if this will suit me… but if kanade-chan says so, ill try it on fer ya ! “ mika immediately clips on the hairclips, showing it to kanade after hes done clipping it to their hair.

“ how do i look, kanade-chan? “ mika looked at kanade with a wide grin.“ …you.. you look really great, actually.. “ kanade says. “ …im actually kind of jealous of how nice you look.. “ mika became giddy hearing it, but he grabbed kanade’s shoulder and looked at them with a serious expression. “ nggah.. but ya look so good wearin’ anythin’.. “ you can basically hear the frown and adoration in his voice. but truly, nobody can replicate how pretty you are…

kanade eyes widened, as they became red at the words of mika. kanade then paid for mika’s accessory, lovingly dragging mika out of the store. they looked down on the floor from the gaps of the floor. there was an aquarium. kanade was curious to check it out. “ ..ohh.. hey, theres an aquarium. do you maybe… wanna go check it out?? “ “ really?! i would love ta-!“ once kanade heard his answer, they immediately started running with their hand interlaced with mika’s.

“ nggahh?! s..slow down, kanade-chan-! "

—

kanade and mika are now in the aquarium. it was a dark place, but weirdly something in the sea made everything shaded blue. there was only a few people to be seen, weird. they were both met with adorable sea creatures swimming around the water, ranging from colorful to dull colors. they both felt nice. kanade places their hand on the glass of the water tank. it was truly beautiful… mika giggled at the sight. “ hehe.. yer really happy today, huh? “

“ …well, its not my fault the fishes looks cute. “ kanade said, staring into the distance. they slowly wondered, about something. “ …hey, if i was a fish, would you think im beautiful? “ kanade asked mika, tilting their head in curiosity for mika’s answer.

“ mmm… well.. i think yer pretty in every way-! “ mika then looked at kanade, they were shaded with a light blue, because they were so close to the glass. he felt like he saw something.. truly mesmerizing. he went red at the sight, becoming unresponsive. kanade looked weirdly beautiful under the shade. kanade then placed a hand infront of mika, shaking it. “ …hello? earth to.. mikarin? “ mika snapped out of it, and started stammering and almost falling back. “ n..nggah.. s..sorry, ya just looked so.. “ mika suddenly wraps his arms around them, burying his face into their neck. kanade was startled, but slowly hugs him back.

nothin’ could match yer beauty, not even the fishies..

—

soon, the clock on kanade’s phone turned 09:57 to 16:39, not noticing how the sky has faded into a warm orange. kanade and mika were walking along the streets, talking a lot to eachother.“ hehe, today was super fun! i love spendin’ time with ya, kanade-chan.. i miss the feeling a lot. “ mika smiled wide. kanade suddenly stops in their tracks, making mika suprised and looked back at kanade. “ …eh? kanade-chan, why did ya suddenly stop..? “

kanade seems to be spacing off, suddenly looking a little numb. there was a bit of sadness in their eyes as they stared into the distance, but they slowly diverted their eyes on the ground on the left. today was kinda windy, so all clothes were moving to the direction of the air pressure. both of mika and kanade’s hair were flowing through the air. they soon made eye contact with mika. it was like nothing exists besides them.

“ …hey, mikarin.. can you promise that we’ll be close together forever..? ….for everything to be the same as always..? “ kanade asked to mika, mika was a little suprised by the sudden request. “ ..eh? kanade-chan, why are ya suddenly saying stuff like that..? “

“ … “ kanade looked away once again, there was a silence between them for a few seconds, before mika started speaking. “ …i dunno if we ar’ gonna stay together like this.. but.. ill do my best to keep this way! “ mika holds both of kanades hands again. “ c’mon! lets go talk a lil’ at my dorm! ritsu-kun wont mind. “ mika then walked with kanade to ensemble square. there was a slight smile on kanade’s face, before walking with him. ‘maybe it was jus’ my imagination..’

i'll be here with you. always and forever.

[thekisforkeats]

Ooh jm + shy kiss for the prompts?

Ohhh good one! I had to think about this a little and actually wrote up a bunch that didn't quite work at first. But! Here it is!

Set somewhere in the first few minutes of 160, in those weeks between arriving at the safehouse and Hazel Rutter. Featuring autistic Martin trying to navigate social situations because that is evidently what I write now.

(Incidentally the term "weak ties" was coined by a Stanford researcher in 1973. Link to the relevant paper. Credit where due, and all.)

(No beta no edits we die like archive assistants.)

.

.

.

It takes Martin a week to convince Jon to come down into the village with him.

If he's being honest with himself--and he's trying very hard to be honest with himself these days, so he can identify any Lonely-type thoughts--he really just wants to show off his boyfriend to the nice lady at the little shop in the village where he's been picking up essentials.

Martin is a naturally friendly person, or maybe a naturally personable person. This was not always the case; he had to practice a great deal to memorize all the scripts to smooth social interactions that other people seem to navigate without thinking about it at all. It can be horribly exhausting, just going to the shops. It's one of the reasons the Lonely appealed to him; how much easier to just move through life without having to recite all those canned lines?

Now that he's out of its grip, he's come to realize how much those interactions matter. He's been reading a lot on the internet about depression and social interaction, about social circles, and one thing that caught his eye is the idea of "weak ties," those people we're not exactly friends with, but who we see on a regular basis and who help us feel connected to a larger community. People who don't really know us and yet know something about us that helps us feel seen. The bus driver who gives you a familiar nod every morning. the barista who's prepping your order as soon as he notices you in line, the shop lady who tries to keep your favorite tea in stock.

So Martin is trying to cultivate those relationships, to feel part of a wider community, rather than just relying on Jon. He thinks that maybe if he'd had more of that, before, if he'd tried harder to go through the world being seen, he might have handled Jon's coma and his mother's death in some kind of healthier manner.

Maybe not, of course, but he's going to use any tool he can to keep the Lonely at bay.

At any rate, even beyond being very good at social scripts, Martin does genuinely like people, he's a good listener, for an autistic guy he's practically a social butterfly. And Elspeth is a nice lady, maybe mid-40's, the kind of person who runs a shop because she actually likes interacting with a stream of customers on a regular basis. So she's just the sort of person for Martin to practice his "weak tie" skills.

Because, naturally, one of the key benefits of "weak ties" is that they are the sort of people you get to be public about your relationship with when none of your closer friends are around.

Yeah, no, all of the above is just flimsy justification, if Martin's being really honest with himself. He's just madly in love and wants literally everyone within a 500-mile radius to know.

That morning, Martin makes a big show of how badly he wants to spend time with Jon, no really, but he really does have to go down into the village.

"We're out of tea!"

"I don't think we have anything for dinner!"

"But I really want to keep listening to you talk about Scottish history!"

And so on.

Jon gives him a tolerantly amused look, and Martin flushes. Is he that transparent, or is Jon just that good at reading him?

"I suppose I can go into the village with you, Martin," he says, eyes glittering. "Since you're so terribly interested in the House of Stuart. I'd hate to leave you wondering what happened to James II."

Martin would feel guilty, but he can tell Jon is pleased to be "indulging" him, and it's not like Martin hasn't been listening to Jon infodump about whatever random facts Beholding's been given him all week.

They hold hands all the way down into the village, and it's nice, to walk through the place and be seen, together. It's comfortable. They'd held hands on walks before, long ago in London, before the Unknowing, but back then they hadn't been sure what they were, hadn't managed to broach the delicate barrier between "friends" and "something else." Now, they're "boyfriends," and Martin keeps finding himself wanting to go up to each person he sees on the street and shout, "This is my boyfriend, Jonathan Sims!!"

By the time they reach Elspeth's shop, he's feeling a little giddy.

He pushes open the door and the little bell rings, and Elspeth looks up from behind the counter and smiles. "Martin!" she says, and Martin's whole body warms in a very pleasant manner, that this woman he's only known a week remembers him. "Oh, and this must be the elusive Jon." She gives them one of those teasing smiles people give to new couples, glittering eyes and amusement at the silly things people do when they're in limerence.

"Yes," Martin says, and suddenly the words stick in his throat. "Yes, this is... is... umm..." Oh, why has he suddenly frozen like a deer in headlights? Why can't he remember the right words?

"Jonathan Sims," Jon says smoothly, stepping forward to offer the woman his hand. "And yes, I'm Martin's boyfriend."

It occurs to Martin, all at once, that neither of them have said that out loud to anyone else. No wonder he's frozen up.

Elspeth glances at the burn scars on Jon's hand only briefly, then smiles--and it's a genuine smile, not one of those pitying ones people sometimes put on when they see scars like that--and shakes said hand. "Pleased to meet you," she replies. "Elspeth Douglas." She has the Highland accent, but softened; she spent her 20's and 30's in London, she's said, and came back to take over the family store when her father fell ill. The similarity might be part of why Martin likes her--that and the fact that it seems that helping her sickened parent improved her life.

"Ahh, yes. The not-so-elusive Elspeth." Jon actually flashes a grin, which Martin finds remarkable. Since when is Jon... friendly? Well, maybe he's trying for Martin's sake. If so, Martin very much appreciates the effort.

The woman behind the counter laughs, and says, "How can I help you?"

"Oh," Martin manages, his brain catching up and letting his mouth work again, "we're just here for tea and things."

"Of course," Elspeth says. "I'll be here when you're ready."

They turn away, to go deeper into the aisles.

"She seems nice," Jon says almost absently. "Shame about her fa--" He pauses, and frowns. Shakes his head, looking irritated. "You didn't tell me about that," he grumbles.

"No, I didn't. But thank you for trying to keep it in," Martin says.

Jon sighs, lowering his voice. "It's becoming harder and harder to separate what I've learned on my own from what Beholding gives me. How much of my thoughts are mine anymore? Did I actually memorize all those facts about the House of Stuart, or am I getting the... mental Wikipedia page, as it were?"

"Seems like a thing you'd know," Martin comments offhandedly. He's focused on figuring out what kind of rice to buy. He wants to try his hand at sticky rice, which really should have calrose, but Jon likes jasmine rice. Do they get both?

He doesn't want to think about Beholding, and how much of it is Jon anymore. He prefers just thinking about it as something like a smartphone app Jon can use without having to actually have a phone in front of him. He does not want to think about how much of his boyfriend has been potentially consumed by some kind of eldritch thing that feeds on fear.

He really doesn't want to think about the idea that maybe soon, Jon won't even need rice anymore, and will just live off statements, no matter how much he jokes about his partner's "eating habits."

Jon has been talking as Martin's been staring at the rice, but Martin hasn't heard any of it. He's brought back to himself by a squeeze of Jon's hand in his.

"Hey," Jon says softly. "You okay?"

In Jon's voice, Martin hears all the concern that Martin himself has been feeling. He forces himself to look at Jon, and sees bright green eyes staring out of a deep brown face. He realizes he's gotten used to the color of Jon's eyes; before the coma, Jon's eyes were brown, like a deep carnelian, and so large and dark sometimes Martin thought he could fall right into them and be happy drowning there. Now they're green, bright and disarming, and Martin's pretty sure this is why Jon still wears glasses he no longer needs, to hide those strange eyes behind plastic lenses.

Those eyes are looking up at him intensely now, and Jon's brow is furrowed, and his mouth is pulled into a frown in a way that highlights one of the worm scars near his lip, and all of it is adorable, but it's also disconcerting for the contrast between the softness of his voice and the intensity of his expression.

Is Jon as afraid of losing Martin to Forsaken as Martin is of losing Jon to Beholding?

Martin frowns at him for a moment, then sighs. "I just..." He has to look away, back to the bags of rice. "I just... don't like thinking about that. Beholding, and... all of it. I just... I just wish..."

"You wish we could be normal." Jon's tone is still soft, and filled only with love and no sort of guilt or self-recrimination.

"Yeah," Martin says, still staring at the rice.

There's a hesitation, and then Jon says, softly and slowly, "You know... normal people deal with these sort of difficult things, too. There's so much out there that can hurt people... the things we deal with, they're weirder than most of the rest of it, but..."

"Yeah, I know, Jon, I just..." Martin hunches his shoulders. "Don't want to lose you again," he finally mumbles.

Jon hesitates a moment, and then he leans in to give Martin a soft kiss on the cheek.

Martin flushes bright red--Elspeth's right there!--and turns to stare at Jon. "W-what... what was... that for?!"

Jon, too, is blushing. "I just... ah... I just... wanted you to know that... that I'm... here. You haven't... lost me. Or anything."

"Oh," Martin says. "Well. Thank you."

There's a moment where they just look at each other, and then Jon blurts, "...Can I kiss you again? It's just, I haven't all morning, and I really sort of wanted to spend the morning cuddling, but you wanted to come down to the shops..."

"Here?!" Martin stares at him.

"We can go behind the shelves if you like," Jon says, blushing furiously.

For some reason, this makes Martin giggle, and then he leans down to brush his lips to Jon's. Softly, shyly, as if they haven't been kissing each other all week, because he really is terribly aware of the fact that there are other people around.

"Tell you what," Martin says as he pulls back, surprisingly breathless despite how short the contact of their lips was, "let's finish up the shopping and then we can cuddle all afternoon."

Jon smiles up at him. "Promise?" The smile widens. "You're not going to drag me around to introduce me to every villager individually?"

"I was not--!" Martin glares at him, but now Jon's smile has become one of those shit-eating grins he gets sometimes, and Martin can't stay mad at him at all.

"You knew," he accuses, but there's no heat in it.

"I had a hunch," Jon says, humming. "I didn't want to spoil your fun, though."

Martin rolls his eyes, and then reaches out to take Jon's hand again. "Well, then, we'd better get to it. Jasmine or calrose? Rice, I mean."

"Both, I think," Jon says. "I find myself very much desiring normality of late, and rice is a terribly normal sort of thing."

[sugiwa]

small dreams

It took one 27 second long video for Keigo to fall in love

The video looped through every news cycle, and each reaction varied from outright derision to almost mythical awe emerging. On YouTube, it was viral in fifty-three different countries and Starburst—a name derived from a candy company that the pro-hero was fond of—jokingly tweeted that she was more famous than All-Might.

And she might have been thanks to the reporter that not only caught her decking the father of a girl she just saved but also recorded the subsequent twenty-seven seconds it took for three police officers to pull her off him and pull her away. The peace sign Y/N threw up as the police led her into a car probably didn’t help, nor did the live stream of her twenty-four hours in a holding cell while they investigated her claim of the man’s abuse and finally released her.

Though there were news outlets that tried to pin Starburst down as a hero on the edge of villainy, her public reputation hadn’t taken any damage. It was hard, after all, to claim that she did the wrong thing when they heard the girl’s testimony and pulled her medical records. But, Starburst—or L/N Y/N—still faced punishment from the Hero Public Safety Commission despite all this.

Attacking an unarmed civilian was apparently a big no-no—even if he was an abusive asshole. She was spared having her license revoked until she retested the simple principle that she had refrained from using her quirk. Her sentence was lessened to a month-long suspension with a strict patrol schedule in some city near Tokyo.

Y/N could work with it. She could put up with the Commission’s inane chatter for the sake of her job, but she drew the line at issuing an apology. It took three hours to wiggle her way out of a press conference to address the event. By the time her meeting with the Commission and sentencing was done, Y/N retweeted the initial video with the caption: Totally worth it.

Keigo was slightly in love with Starburst. Maybe it was the way she strolled into the Hero Public Safety Commission building fresh out of handcuffs and bluntly told them that she wasn’t apologizing and would rather become a vigilante than listen to ten more minutes of them debating the future of her career.

Or maybe it was the video which he’d seen a hundred times over, where she looked like a hero. The kind he’d always dreamed of as a kid, the kind who swooped in and beat the bad guy and then offered you stickers and candy and told you everything would be alright because it was exactly what she’d done for that little girl.

Either way, L/N Y/N was a hero who deserved a little rest, which was why he was currently tailing her patrol route and taking care of the problems before she could move. Her quirk was right out of a comic book too. The golden energy that left her capable of issuing an instant KO.

“Will you leave me alone?” she snapped, finally turning around to glare at him. She had a warm face, not made for anger which was probably why the glare fell away a moment later, replaced by a smile. “I appreciate the help, but I’m not offering any fanservice in exchange.”

“Who said I was a fan?” His wings flapped, feathers flying back toward him.

“You regularly stalk girls mid-air? That sort of thing does not fly with me.” Y/N laughed, nose scrunching at her own joke. “Get it…cause we both fly….”

He smiled innocently, “Thought of that all on your own?”

Y/N groaned, twisting her earring, “Just because I didn’t go to a fancy-ass hero school like Wet Jeanist and Flameo Hotman doesn’t mean I’m dumb.”

Slight insulted by the nickname she gave his favorite hero, he asked, “Flameo Hotman? You mean Endeavor-san?”

“Ohhh, that’s a man-crush voice.” Her eyes tightened with mischief, “I’m gonna have to dip since I got a hot date with my credit card. See you later, Chicken Little.”

He watched her go in slight awe because Y/N really was as crazy as the stories said. Starburst was a hero that had a bit of a cult following. She wasn’t high enough in the rankings to be wildly popular the way he was—up until she went viral, that was. A graduate of Ketsubutsu who went on to attend college before actually becoming a hero, she was on a watch list with the Hero Public Safety Commission.

Apparently, non-conformity was an issue…who knew.

A rain of confetti fell over Keigo’s head, brightly colored and all covered in specks of glitter. He inhaled deeply, turning to see Starburst’s grinning face as she eagerly clapped. Endeavor, like always whenever he was forced to be in Starburst’s proximity, turned around and stalked down the hall. Her confetti burned in his wake. Y/N’s voice followed him, offering an empty congratulations to the hero.

“How’s my precious senpai doing?” she asked, turning her attention to him.

“You really know how to annoy him, huh?” asked Keigo staring at the empty hall. If you gave Y/N too much attention, she ran with it. “What’s the deal?”

Y/N shrugged, rolling her shoulders confidently, “Some people are not equipped to handle true talent.”

“Yeah, right,” snorted Keigo.

“I may or may not have drunkenly confessed that I had no idea who he was to a bunch of reporters during last week.” Y/N made a rude gesture with her hand. “I mean, if you’re not Number One, then do you really matter?”

“Harsh,” he ruffled his wings, freeing the last of her glitter confetti and letting it rain on the ground. “You all good with the Commission now?”

“All thanks to you! I owe you one, you know that?”

“Nah,” Keigo waved her off, resisting the urge to laugh as she made her bright eyes as wide as possible. “It was pretty brave of you. Plus, I think anyone would have done the same thing.”

Three months out of trouble, Y/N once again made headlines for ‘accidentally’ dropping a child trafficker off a building. She caught him before he hit the ground, but apparently, the authorities deemed the emotional damage a little extreme.

“They probably would have been a bit smarter about it, though.”

“Well, don’t worry, no one expects you to be the brains.”

Y/N pouted. “True.”

Keigo laughed. “What are you doing here anyway? You’re not in the top ten.”

“Is bullying the new rage these days?” Her pout grew, arms crossing over her chest, “Everyone’s got something snippy to say to me. Where’s Rumi when I need her?”

“Gonna hide behind her?”

“Fuck yeah.” Y/N nodded emphatically as she reached into her pocket for a pack of gum. She offered him a piece. “Let’s see how your chicken wings stand against her legs.”

Keigo looked at the gum and then her. The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them, “Wanna get something to eat?”

Her smile looked like the sun, “Thought you’d never ask.”

“So, what’s the deal with you and Dragonbreath?” asked Y/N, sprawling across his couch. It was the third time this week she was here. He should tell her to leave, but the words die in his throat in his mouth every time he tried.

There’s too much risk. Dabi’s listening in on everything he does these days, and he doesn’t want her anywhere near them. Not when he’s aware of what they’re planning. Not when he knows how Y/N would react.

She was rough and improper in everything she does, but there’s no one brighter or better when it came to genuine goodness.

Keigo dodged the question with his own. “Endeavor again?”

“Ran into him last week and got yelled at for ten minutes for getting in his way. The guy was in my path, and I’m the one getting yelled at? Next time, I’m drop-kicking him off his skyscraper.” She kicked her leg in the air, reminding him that she was scarcely dressed.

Was this what having a girlfriend like? Constantly jumping between fondness and horniness? He wasn’t complaining.

He heard this threat a million times. “Still mad about the fact that he has one?”

“I’m a simple country girl. I’d be happy with a peach orchard and some chickens.”

“Come here,” he crooked his finger at her. Y/N got up instantly, crossing the room toward the balcony where he stood. Her hands wrapped around his waist, slipping under his shirt, across his skin, over his chest. Too much and too little at the same time.

“You’ll get cold out here,” she murmured. He could sink in the warmth she offered.

“It’s nice seeing the world so still.”

A noise left her throat, wet and worried, “Hawks, whatever it is, whatever they’re making you do, I’ll be here. I promise.”

People joked about Y/N being dumb—he did it too often to count, but she saw more than most people did when it mattered.

“Why’d you become a hero?”

“Saved a cute boy once, and he gave me a kiss,” she said. He’d heard that story before. She offered it in every interview, never expanding on what boy or how she saved him. It was also a glaring lie.

He didn’t push her. He lied about too many things to count.

Keigo took her face between his hands—the urge to kiss that tiny speck by her eyes thrummed through him. It would take a thousand-thousand years for him to forget her face. Y/N turned, her lips skimming his palm, cold and warm at once.

He loved her because she was Y/N. Because in her, he could love himself and not grow cold from it. Because the numbness he’d always known leaked out in place of affection. He loved her boundlessly—above, below, and across—unhindered, without ill will, without enmity.

It was with her that he was Takami Keigo and not the current Number Two.

His hand cupped her neck, fingers tangling in the curls of her hair. Her lips opened under his. A trail of fire burst across his lips, and for a moment, he only knew the sweetness of her mouth. He drank her in, each breath, each hushed sound leaving her throat.

He would do what they asked and make the choices no one else could.

It was worth the world he dreamed of.

[emerald-amidst-gold]

OC Interview: Fane Lavellan

Thank you for the tag @dungeons-and-dragon-age! I’ve been eyeing up this meme for a while actually, so this was perfect timing! X3

This takes place Post-Trespasser, about a month or two after, in fact. Solas brought the idea forward, and of course, Fane refused. But after some coaxing, some explanation as to why, and the promise of a whole cake, Fane agreed to humor the request. 

*THERE BE BIG THINGS REGARDING FANE HERE* 

I got carried awaaaaaay! XD

Introduction

Can you introduce yourself?

“I can, but it’s a lengthy list,” He sighs, “...Those who are close to me, who see as but an elf, call me Fane. Those who wish to meet cobble, call me Lavellan or Herald. Those who are blinded by reverence call me ‘He Who Flew Above’. Denizens of the Fade refer to me as, ‘Devotion’ or ‘Tenacity’. However, my true name is..” He sighs again, “...Aterian. I rarely go by it, but the truth won’t be ignored. It never can be.”

What is your gender identity, orientation and relationship status?

“Male. Elvhen. Dragon.” He huffs through his nose, shifting his gaze off to the side, “That’s all I’ll say on that. As for orientation, I’m...emotionally driven. If you asked me to look at another and tell you what’s attractive about them I would say, ‘Nothing.’ I don’t know them, so I feel nothing for them.“ He shrugs, turning his gaze back, but brandishes a glare, “There’s only one person who defies that response, and that’s because he knows me, without and within. More than that, is none of your business.”

Where and when were you born?

He lifts a hand, massaging a temple, “The ‘where’ is simple; Elvhenan. Specifics are lost to me, however, so you’ll have to be content with that response.” He shifts his gaze downwards, slowly crossing his arms, “As to when?” He sighs heavily, “...I have no answer for that other than: I’m roughly the same age, if not older, as Solas. Does it matter, honestly? Numbers fall through the cracks after a specific threshold is crossed.” What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

He unravels a crossed arm and guides his hand downwards, tapping the pommel of a sword he has fastened to his waist, “Sword. I use either long swords, short swords, or great swords.” He raises an eyebrow as a question is forwarded, “Shields?” He sneers a bit. “I don’t use shields. They get in the way, and anyways,” He raises his hand once more, the expanse steadily beginning to glow blue and silver before a spectral coating of scales cover the entirety, “this is better than any shield. I prefer the front lines, the place I can make sure no one breaches, and the lingering memory of what I once was makes sure I can do just that.” He dispels the scales and shakes out his hand before returning it to his crossed counterpart, “It takes energy to maintain, but I’m getting better at holding it for longer.”  Lastly, are you happy?

He blinks before his entire expression softens, two toned eyes shining with primary gold as they shift downwards, “...If you had asked that of me over twelve years ago I would have spat in your face and said, ‘Happiness doesn’t exist in this world’. But now..” He trails off, casting a sidelong glance towards one of the fortress’s entryways; a familiar voice sounding, firm, but soft, as if reprimanding a child, “...I understand what happiness is, and it’s in every corner if you allow yourself to see it.” His eyes shift back, holding a far away look and voice coming forward in a murmur, “I only wish we all could be happy; together.”

Family and Friends

What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

His face holds a conflicted look, as if the memory is painful before speaking, “Complicated,” he says before beginning to tap a finger against his bicep, “I had a mother. She died when I was fifteen from a wasting disease, but she was the picture of serenity. Calm, guiding, measured. Hair like moonlight. Eyes like a clear autumn day. She was--” Unbranded features twist with a look of grief, eyes going dark as his voice drops, “...I’d rather not speak of her. It still hurts to. It hurts to speak of any of them,” His eyes narrow, grief stricken expression turning somewhat bitter, “...Especially those who throw all you did for them back into your face because they refused to listen when you needed them to most. Even so, I still wish for her happiness. Cullen better be treating her right,” That bitter turns outright malicious, dark eyes going darker as another question is meekly asked, “Father? I have no father. I only had a monster that haunted my childhood, tore my token of devotion apart, and then stalked me in my dreams. So, no. I have nothing to say about that concept.”

Have you ever ran away from home?

He chuckles, “Many, many times,” He throws most of his weight into one side, tilting his head back as if thinking, counting, “I can’t even remember the amount of times I fled into the forests, to be honest. All I know is that it happened weekly, maybe even daily,” He brings his head back, snowy hair moving with the action to brush the tops of his cheekbones, “Why do you look so surprised?” he asks, snorting a bit at the meek response of, ‘Why so often?’, “Because I refused to endure being treated like a beast every hour of the day merely because I believed differently, or rather, not at all.” He sighs within the next moment, “...I wasn’t any better than the Dalish, though. I lashed out, I spat in their face, dragged their heritage through the dirt, inflicted harm from the smallest of things...” He squeezes his arms, eyes narrowing into a glare, but seeming to see through everything, “...The past repeats. An infernal spiral that will never slow.” Would you consider marriage or having children?

“Marriage? Children?” He blinks, pale visage suddenly going flush before he snarls, “Why do I need to answer those questions?!” The blush deepens and he responds despite his displeased expression, muttering and biting the inside of his cheek, “...Damned keen eyed elves. They know, don’t they? I swear if Abelas fucking ran that mouth of his, I’ll--” He sighs heavily, letting his head fall limp a bit in defeat, “...Yes. To both. The latter is already taken care of, as everyone situated in the Crossroads knows, but...” Pointed ears are now a deep shade of red, “...marriage is...on hold. War time isn’t an ideal summer wedding.” His voice drops, eyes shimmering as if he was before the person his heart yearned for, “...The sky deserves a venue better than a garden of death and deceit.” Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

“There were those in the Inquisition who I didn’t exactly see eye to eye with,” he started before shaking his head, “but I didn’t hate anyone. Everyone is entitled to their own views and what they find important.” He scowls a bit, tapping his bicep once again with a finger, “...Even if they didn’t extend the same kindness to me in the beginning. ‘Do you believe in the Maker?’ ‘Do you believe you’re chosen?’ ‘You need to use the people’s faith. It gives them hope.’” He mocks before snorting harshly, “No. No, I don’t. Oh, that suddenly makes me trash? Ohhh. How terrible.” He scoffs. “Disgusting.” Which friend knows everything about you?

“Solas,” He says within a heart beat before clearing his throat, shifting his gaze away sheepishly, “He knows me without and within.” Emerald and gold blaze as the orbs go wide, the blush of roses coming back in full force, “Wait, wait, wait! I didn’t mean--! Fuck! You better wipe that shit eating grin off your face, elf, or I swear I’ll do it for you!” He growls in frustation, throwing his hands in the air, “Why did I agree to this? What fucking dragon entertains an interview!? This is worst than the courts in Arlathan used to be! And that’s saying something!”

Asked by Fans

Are you literate? Have you been to school?

”I am literate. Sometimes to a fault, in fact,” He smiles a bit, “Poetry is my niche; a lingering memory of my mother. So, I speak cryptically at times,” He snorts, amused, “Although, I guess that isn’t much of a surprise since the Elvhen language is riddled in verse rather than practical application. Still, even some of the ancients left have a hard time deciphering my words,” He shrugs, smile turning into a smirk, “They never expected a dragon to be able to talk, I guess. Well, ta-dah.”  The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

A somber expression flits across his visage and eyes, “...That, eventually, I would hurt the one person I never wanted to.” The corner of his mouth twitches, holding both bitterness and grief; a painful duo, “...And retribution came just as swiftly, but it--” He sighs, shaking his head in defeat before muttering under his breath, “Observe and accept. Observe that what came to pass was uncontrollable, and accept that it had to happen for your path to continue, for your soul to be complete.” What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

His face blanks, mouth going into a hard line before a sigh exits through his nose slowly, “...That I don’t have tail.” He snarls, blank expression twisting in warning, “Laugh, elf. Do it.” He nods in the next second when no sounds of amusement come forth, expression going stoic once more, “That’s what I thought. You try living centuries in one form and then transitioning. See what happens.” Do you have mental health or physical issues?

He nods, sighing tiredly. “Like my names, I have a lot.” A hand motions to his body lazily, “My entire body is littered in scars, inflicted through crude experiments by an abomination that sought power like so many others,” He expression sours, jaw working back a forth, “They’ve calmed over the years, but the memories are not so kind.” He sighs, trying to calm himself and lifts his left hand; the Anchor glowing faintly and his eyes watch it, “I have an illness, or rather, sensitivity to any Fade born essence. That, too, has calmed and I’m grateful for that. As for my mind..” He trails off, grimacing a bit as if suddenly in pain, “...Visualize the Void, and there’s your answer. Black walls with crimson torches, seats empty, but somehow wanting for memories to take their seats. However, those occupants never come, burnt to ash by fury’s flame. That’s my mind in a nutshell.” What is your current main goal?

He raises his eyebrows, pursing his lips, “Mm, as of right now, I’m busy helping Solas unlock the eluvians that he couldn’t while I was away,” He flexes his marked hand, watching it with a look of determination in his eyes, “That’ll take time, but after, my people, my kin will have their skies back. I won’t let this power be squandered, and I won’t let the key that I’ve been entrusted with fall into the wrong hands.” His face hardens further, “For if that key rusts, the locks break and the sky will blacken as surely as the earth will redden.”

Choices

Drink or food?

“Drinks.” He says with ease, shrugging, “Food is comforting, especially sweets, but a glass of rum or ale, or a cup of chamomile tea really pounds the word ‘relaxation’ into my head.” Cats or dogs?

He smiles, warmth caressing its edges, “You’ve seen Nislean wandering about the halls, laying on the window sills and curling up in front of the fire,” He hums suddenly, crossing his arms again, “Which reminds me, I need to go out of the Crossroads for milk. I’ll be getting more than five bottles this time.” Optimist or pessimist?

“Depends on who you ask,” He shrugs, seeming unbothered, “I’m neither from a personal standpoint. I try to see the bright spots, but shadows can be very persistent.”   Sassy or sarcastic?

He snorts, “Ask Fen’harel,” his voice is light upon the title, playfully mocking in its deepness, “He knows all about that side. Although, he would label it, ‘insufferable’. I would call myself dryly sarcastic, though.”

Have You Ever

Been caught sneaking out?

He purses his lips, “Hmm. Not that I can recall,” he says slowly before his brows jumped and his eyes lit up with memory, “Oh! Wait. There was that one time where I was with Solas and Mythal in a...courtyard, I think?” He shrugs before shrugging, “Doesn’t matter. But, I tried to slip away, tail and all, and I...may have shattered one or two or three eluvians trying to get to the balcony.” He somewhat wistfully, smirking, “Elgar’nan got fucking stuck in a far off settlement for a week, though. Completely worth getting my horn chewed off by a wolf.” Broken a bone?

“Surprisingly, no.” He huffs in amusement, “Wonder of wonders, truthfully.” Received flowers?

“I have,” He scowls, rolling his eyes and shaking his head in disgust, “but I always throw them into the fire. Most are from suitors, those who don’t know what the fuck ‘taken’ means.” Ghosted someone?

His face tightens, completely deadpan, “...No?”, he says, voice raising in question a bit, “At least I don’t believe so. But, then again...oh.” He blanks further, “...Oh. I understand the term now. You mortals are forever twisting the languages, aren’t you? I can’t keep up, but the answer is still no.” Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?

“Maybe once or twice, but I don’t ‘laugh’ per say.” He huffs through his nose deliberately, “I do that; a puff of air. Some habits are never truly able to be broken. No matter the form.”

Tagging: @oxygenforthewicked @blueheaded @little-lightning-lavellan @noire-pandora @the-dreadful-canine and anyone else that’d like to play! (no pressure, of course!)

[namelessayakashi]

For the Angst April Fic: 25 - Immortality

YES THIS WAS ONE I RLY WANTED TO DO TYSM HELL YES THIS IS GONNA BE AN ANGSTY ONE (also loving the new post editor on desktopppp [i have beta on])

Tysm for sending me this one ohhh I'm so happy you sent this one

cw: temporary character death, (technically) suicide (but in the context of proving immortality & bc he knew he'd survive, not because he was suicidal)

Fic below the cut

Immortality

Merlin breathed out slowly, the air leaving his lungs with a sigh.

His eyes fell shut, drooping slowly lower and lower until they closed, and his grip on Arthur began to loosen.

Faintly, he heard a panicked voice stumbling through words he couldn't understand.

He could feel his heartrate slowing. One... Two...... Three...... Four...... Five...... Six......

Slower, slower, slower...

His name, he heard his name being called. A choked sob. A tight grip around his body. Then, nothing...

Then...

Merlin inhaled sharply, his eyes opening abruptly. There was a harsh, stinging pain in his stomach. He ignored it for the moment, as he broke out into a coughing fit, desperately gasping for breath between coughs.

He didn't—what just happened? He was sure he had—

"Merlin?!" The voice ripped him out of his confusion as he quickly turned his gaze to the man cradling his body in his arms.

"Arthur...?" Merlin asked, his voice rough from coughing so much.

"Merlin, no, but you were..." Arthur's grip on Merlin loosened, his confusion clear as day. "We have to get you back home, back to Gaius."

Merlin just groaned softly, leaning his head against the King's chest. "'m tired..."

Arthur slowly stood up, lifting Merlin in his arms as he did so he was carrying him.

"Don't fall asleep, Merlin, dammit, you're such an idiot..." Arthur muttered as he began to walk, "we're lucky we're close enough to the edge of the forest, the attack spooked the horses... You can't just keep jumping in front of me like that, sorcerer or not, one of these you're going to—I thought this time you had..."

The sorcerer just groaned again and shut his eyes.

"I did..." He whispered, trying his hardest not to let sleep take him. He felt Arthur tense, stumbling in his step slightly.

"No, no you couldn't have, because you're alive," Arthur sounded more like he was trying to assure himself rather than Merlin. "You just lost consciousness for a few minutes. That's all."

Merlin frowned but didn't argue, not having the energy. Instead he just hid his face in Arthur's shoulder. He knew he died... He felt it. He felt himself die, his heart stop... Yet, he was alive. He was breathing. He was exhausted, and his entire body ached and his stomach burned where he was struck, but... He was alive.

How was he alive?

"Merlin... Merlin, my boy, I need you to open your eyes..."

Ah, Gaius, he must be home... When did he fall asleep? Slowly, Merlin opened his eyes.

"Gaius...?" Merlin groaned, looking around for the man as he blinked a few times to clear his eyes, "What happened? I—I died... But I'm alive."

When his eyes finally landed on the old physician's grim expression, a feeling of dread washed over him.

"Merlin, I'm afraid you're not going to like what I have to tell you," Gaius sighed, before sitting down on the edge of the sorcerer's bed. "Arthur brought you back, with a fatal wound in your stomach. He told me what happened and I am certain that you did not just lose consciousness, I am certain you died..."

"I did, I felt it happen, but, Gaius, I am alive," Merlin insisted, propping himself up on his elbows with a wince.

Gaius' mouth drew into a thin line. "You are, indeed. So, I did some research while you were out these past three days—"

"Three days?!"

"—and I discovered something... Something about your name to the druids," Gaius continued as if Merlin never interrupted him. "Emrys, it... Means immortal. And these events are leading me to the conclusion that they don't call you this for no reason."

Merlin's heart dropped. Immortal... He's... Merlin shook his head.

"No, no, there must be another explanation," he laughed, but he was not at all amused. Gaius sighed softly and placed a hand on his wards shoulder.

"I'm afraid there's not... I consulted Mordred, and he confirmed my suspicion. You're immortal, Merlin."

Merlin slumped down onto his magic. He felt ill... Oh gods, he felt so sick.

"But I can't be..."

Merlin took a deep breath as he paced the King’s chambers, waiting for him to arrive back from a council meeting.

How was he supposed to tell Arthur the truth?

He couldn’t lie—he promised, they promised. No more secrets, no more lies. But dammit, this was… This wasn’t just something like he had magic, or he’d ripped his favourite shirt.

He was immortal.

Oh, it felt so wrong to even think…

How do you tell someone you’re immortal? How do you tell someone you love that you’re going to live forever, that you’ll have to watch them wither away and die along with everyone else you know…?

Merlin took a nervous breath and let himself drop into a chair at Arthur’s table. He was going to have to watch everyone he’d ever loved die…

He was forced to live on for eternity while everyone he cared about struggled with mortality.

A cruel fate… Yet, the druids dared to call him blessed.

Blessed. That was a good joke.

How could one be called blessed when condemned to such a life?

Merlin ran his hands through his hair. He’d be alone… Never able to grow attached to someone, too afraid of losing them like he knew he would… A lonely life, he’d be sentenced to. Should he start pushing people away now…? Save himself the pain?

No, he couldn’t. That would be cruel to them, as well as himself…

“Merlin?” The sorcerer nearly leapt out of his skin at the voice to his right. “Merlin, you’re awake! And, up! How are you feeling?”

Merlin dropped his hands and looked over to Arthur, who looked so happy and hopeful at the sight of him. Here he was, about to crush that…

“I—” Merlin hesitated, and Arthur’s brows furrowed in a frown.

“You? You what?” The King pushed, concern flickering on his face a moment, “are you alright? You look like you’re about to be ill. Should you be out of bed yet? Gaius said you only just woke recently…”

A tense silence hung between them, as Merlin contemplated how to say the words that had been weighing on his chest. Finally, when Arthur looked like he was going to give up, Merlin found the courage to speak up.

“I can’t die,” he forced out, the words nearly getting caught in his throat. Arthur’s eyes widened impossibly wide, as he stared incredulously at his friend and lover.

Arthur opened his mouth, then closed it again, hesitating.

“…What?” He finally got out. Merlin gave a weak smile, knowing just how crazy it sounded.

“I can’t die,” he repeated, his voice breaking slightly as the reality of it hit him, this having been the first time he spoke the words aloud. His eyes stung, but he blinked away the tears as he stared at Arthur, holding eye contact. “I…I’m immortal, Arthur.”

Arthur let out a breath, stunned by the revelation.

Merlin expected him to laugh, to claim him lying, or even to leave the room or tell Merlin to leave. Even after all they’d been through, after the months they’d been together after finally getting their heads out of their asses and confessing… Merlin was shocked, only minorly but still so, when Arthur suddenly grabbed and pulled Merlin into a tight embrace.

He tensed a moment, startled, but slowly relaxed and returned the hug, burying his face in Arthur’s shoulder.

“I don’t really know what to say,” Arthur murmured, “what do you say when you find out your soon-to-be husband is immortal?”

Merlin huffed out a soft laugh. “I don’t know… I didn’t think we’d ever have to deal with that.”

Arthur hummed softly before falling quiet. They stood there, in each other’s arms for a few minutes, just…silent. Until, finally, Merlin pulled away with a shaky breath.

“Hey,” Arthur sighed, raising a hand to the sorcerer’s face and cupping his cheek, “we’ll get through this together, yes?”

“There’s not much to get through, Arthur… I’m going to have to watch everyone I’ve ever loved die before my eyes,” Merlin muttered, before leaning into the touch, “but yes, I won’t turn down your support…”

Arthur frowned at him a moment before exhaling and stepping back to stretch. “Let’s take your mind off this. I have some new legislation to review, come assist me.”

Merlin laid in Arthur’s bed that night, unable to sleep. His mind raced, and his heart ached as he laid on his side, staring at his betrothed.

Before, Destiny had weighed him down with the possibility that he’d be forced to watch the man he loved be taken from him. Now… Now, it was inevitable. He would watch as Arthur faded from life, no matter how he died. He’d have to watch him… He would lose him and he could do nothing.

It wasn’t just Arthur, either, he realized with a pang of hurt.

Gwen… Morgana, Leon… Elyan, and Gwaine, and Lancelot… Percival… Everyone. Everyone was going to be taken from him.

Gaius… His mother.

Merlin choked back a sob, closing his eyes tightly. Everyone. Everyone.

He could never have children.

Oh, gods, he could never have children… He—he’d be condemned to watch them grow old and die.

Was this really what fate wanted for him? What destiny planned?

How cruel. How unnecessarily, unbelievably cruel. What was the point of it? Why, why do this to him? Did they simply wish to see him suffer? Did the gods believe they were granting him a favour? Did they believe they were rewarding him, by subjecting him to a life of eternal loneliness and heartache?

Did they think it amusing?

“Merlin?” Arthur’s voice, thick with sleep, snapped him out of his spiral, “why are you awake, cariad? It’s the middle of the night…”

Merlin quickly wiped away the tears that had slipped free, as Arthur blinked open his eyes slowly and yawned. “Couldn’t sleep…” He mumbled, “what about you? Did I wake you?”

“Mm… Technically, no, but I could feel your eyes on me.” Arthur shifted closer and pulled Merlin against him, resting their foreheads together. “What were you thinking about? Oh, no, I know…”

He paused, yawning again, before continuing. “The immortal thing, hm?”

Merlin’s silence seemed to be all the answer needed, because Arthur sighed softly and pressed a tired kiss to his nose.

“You’re spiraling, aren’t you? It’ll be fine, Merlin,” he assured, sounding way too confident for someone who’s words were slurred, “we’ll figure something out… We always do. You won’t be alone… won’t let you…”

“I appreciate that, Arthur…” Merlin said truthfully, “now, get back to sleep… You have things to do tomorrow.”

Arthur hummed, closing his eyes again.

“You sleep, too…” He ordered as he drifted back to sleep.

“I’ll try,” Merlin promised, closing his eyes and tightening his hold on Arthur.

It was a sennight later that Merlin wandered the castle corridors with a frown on his face, eyes searching a head of blond as he walked.

Arthur had been acting strange since they discovered Merlin’s immortality, and now… Now he was just gone?

Merlin had searched the castle three times, and no one had seen him all day. He woke up without the King in bed beside him, the knights knew nothing, the servants knew nothing, Gaius and Gwen knew nothing…

It was like he just disappeared!

How does a King disappear?

Merlin took a deep breath, calming himself. He was worried, yes, of course, but he was also growing slowly angry.

How dare he just disappear without a word?! That man had better have been kidnapped for his sake. After another few minutes searching the castle, Merlin finally just stalked back to their chambers.

Arthur had better have a very good explanation when he got back, Merlin decided as he flung the doors open and stomped over to the bed before flopping onto it. Or else he’d getting turned into a toad. A big, ugly, slimy, wart-covered toad. And Merlin’s not changing him back.

Merlin groaned loudly into the duvet in frustration.

Stupid, stupid prat.

How dare he just disappear like it was nothing and leave Merlin there to worry like a mother hen over her eggs all day! He probably didn’t even realize how concerned Merlin was now.

It wasn’t like he was worried for no good reason, either, because that damn man knew how to get into trouble in any situation, and how the hell is he supposed to help Merlin deal with the fact that he’s immortal if he’s deadthanks to his own idiocy!

Merlin’s stomach turned at the thought, and he rolled over onto his back before sitting up. A frown creased his forehead, and he tugged his bottom lip between his teeth anxiously.

What if he really was in danger? What if he was really in danger and Merlin was here, thinking bad about him?

He should go look for him again.

He’s immortal, after all (yay), he doesn’t have to worry about dying protecting Arthur! Arthur, on the other hand, was a fucking beacon for assassins and danger. Right. That decided it.

Merlin pushed himself to his feet and quickly made his way to the door. Then, right as he moved to open it, the door opened to reveal the very prat he was leaving to save, and his heart calmed. He was safe.

“You’re safe…” Merlin sighed, visibly relieved. Arthur frowned in confusion and nodded.

“Yes… I am,” he agreed. Then, it hit Merlin.

He’s safe.

Merlin narrowed his eyes into a glare. “I’m going to turn you into a toad and squash you beneath my boot.”

Arthur’s eyes widened a fraction, before his lips pulled up into an amused smirk.

“Well, that’s rather messy—and graphic.”

“You deserve no less, where have you been?!”

“I was, with the druids, actually,” Arthur cleared his throat, looking away, “Morgana took me to see them.”

Merlin frowned, his glare disappearing to be replaced with a confused look. “What? Why were you with the druids? What took you all day with the druids?”

Arthur took a deep breath. “I… Needed their help with something. Look, it’s better if I just show you.”

The warlock raised an eyebrow, but let Arthur usher him into the room further, before sitting down at the table.

“Okay, go ahead, show me. What was worth making me worry my ass off?” Merlin leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. Arthur gave him a nervous smile before pulling a small phial out of his satchel and uncorking it.

Merlin tilted his head, frowning deeply. What was he…?

“Merlin, I’m immortal, too,” Arthur told him softly, and Merlin couldn’t help it. He snorted, laughing in obvious disbelief.

“Right, and I’m a god.”

Arthur sighed and hesitated, then raised the phial of liquid to his lips.

“Here goes nothing,” he murmured before downing the contents. Merlin watched, growing more and more confused by his betrothed’s actions.

It was only when the phial slipped from Arthur’s hands and shattered on the ground as his skin began to pale and hands began to tremble that Merlin realized what was happening, and panic filled his body.

“Arthur? Arthur!” Merlin was on his feet in seconds, grabbing Arthur by the shoulders as he began to go limp, the—what Merlin now recognized as—poison taking action too fast for Merlin to think of a solution. He didn’t even know what he took! How could he help?! Arthur knew he was shit at healing magic, which was ironic considering he worked with Gaius for so long! “Arthur! Dammit, what are you doing?! Fuck, what did you do?!?”

Merlin’s heart was pounding and tears were filling his eyes as his breath quickened. “Fuck! Arthur, you bastard!” He snapped, unsure what to do, as Arthur’s body slumped in his arms.

He felt the King stop breathing in his arms and he swore his own heart stopped. Then… There was a gasp. A loud, sharp gasp. Then, a fit of coughs wracked Arthur’s body, his shoulders shaking.

Merlin was frozen, stunned. He… He was… But now he was… He really is—

“Arthur, oh, Arthur what did you do?”

Once he had stopped coughing, and Merlin had walked them over and sat them on the bed, Arthur took a deep breath and smiled stupidly.

“I had the druids show me how to use the cup of life,” he explained in a murmur, “I didn’t want you to be alone, for eternity. Now you won’t have to be.”

Merlin stared in silence at his betrothed for a few moments, shocked speechless. Arthur glanced away, coughing a bit more.

“Remind me, to never take Hemlock again,” he muttered rubbing his throat.

That snapped Merlin right out of his daze and he cuffed Arthur upside the head.

“You shouldn’t have taken it in the first place! What in the hell were you thinking?!” He demanded to know.

“I was thinking you wouldn’t believe me if I just told you I was immortal!”

“I would’ve if you just told me you used the cup!”

“Oh…”

Merlin let out a high laugh, shaking his head.

“Yes, oh!”

Arthur bit his lip, before looking away sheepishly. “Sorry… I suppose, I was just eager to tell you that you wouldn’t be alone anymore…”

A soft sigh let Merlin’s lips, and he ignored the way his heart flipped. “You’re an idiotic prat, you know? A massive cabbagehead. But… You just gave up your mortality for me… And while part of me hates that you’ll now be subjected to the same pain as I will be when our friends’ times come… I can’t help but feel so…”

“So, what?” Arthur pushed gently, laying back on the bed. Merlin shook his head and laid back beside him.

“I love you… And I can’t believe you love me so much, as to literally give up your mortality for me.”

Arthur smiled and looked over at him, his eyes drooping sleepily (probably tired from dying).

“I’d give up anything for you…”

[jessefandomunited]

Secrets

Spencer Reid X Reader 

You and Spencer were nervous about getting into a relationship so you decide to hide it from the team.

Me and Spencer had been dating in secret for a while now and we liked it that way. We knew how much everyone would tease us if they knew so we kept quiet. We were also both very  nervous about getting things right so we wanted this relationship to be as straight forward , fun and painless as possible. We wanted to be friends first and lovers second and it had been a blast. I think the sneaking around made it a bit more exciting too. I would always smile a bit when someone commented on how happy Reid had been lately. We had always been close at work so our casual debates on the best companion in doctor who and me leaving him random riddles on his desk flew below everyone's radar. None were the wiser, till one day.

“ OMG GUESS WHAT,” Garcia whispered in excitement as I entered into our tech cave. I set my coffee down and asked, “ what what is it?” “ Spencer has a girlfriend,” She almost squealed. My stomach dropped and I stuttered, “ o..oh?” “ YES, so he told Derek he was too busy to go out to dinner with us, well you didn’t know you had probably fallen asleep by the time you got my text if you wanted to go, but while we were there, we saw him in a restaurant with another girl. He was wearing this almost Victorian looking outfit, I've never seen him wear it before and he met this girl who had this long black hair all put up in a bun and this fancy looking dress.” I shook my head trying to look surprised, “ wow I...i never thought this day would come.” I blushed a bit thinking about that night. We liked planning themed nights, for this one I suggested Sherlock as the theme knowing how much he loved the books and I loved the show. Of course I suggested we dressed as Sherlock and Irene Adler. “ You know,” Garcia said cutting into my thoughts, “ I always thought you two would be cute together.” I smiled, “ ehhh we’re buddies, I don’t mind.” “ OMGGGGG I just want to know who she is,” Garcia huffed, “ is she nice is she cool does she make him happy, is she cute?”  I chuckled  ,” well he has seemed to be in a nicer mood that normal.” “ I know but… oh hello Doctor,” Garcia said making me almost fall out of my chair . Spencer stood there looking a bit nervous and blushing, he looked a me and gently tilted his head out the door, “ a moment .” I nodded and whispered to Garcia as I left, “ ill see if I can get anything out of him.” She gave me a sly smile and a thumbs up.

“ We’ve been compromised,” He said when we were out of earshot. I made a big show of straightening my collar in mock superiority ,” excuse me YOU’VE been compromised, Garcia only noticed you .” His eyes narrowed trying to look angry but I saw a slight smile at his lips, “ oh okay you think that you’re more stealthy than me.” “ No! I know I am, I’m the master of disguise,” I said seriously before bursting out laughing, “ we should lay low tonight,  The Good the Bad and the Ugly , my house tonight bring your guns.” I whipped my fingers out of my pockets and fake fired them. He blushed , “ alright.” We quickly hugged and I walked back to the room.

I was setting everything out for movie night when I heard a quick three knocks on my door. I jogged over and opened it to Reid with a bottle of wine and his overnight bag. “ That better have PJ’s in it because I can’t be the only one in them,” I spun around to reveal my doctor who shirt that I stole from him and my plaid pj shorts. “ Don’t worry I did,” He reassured kissing my forehead, “you know I believe I've seen that shirt somewhere before.” I smirked mischievously, “ I cant help what my hand finds when i’m packing my things.” He shook his head fondly and said, “ did you make popcorn?” “ OBVIOUSLY,” I said running into the kitchen to get the popcorn and a couple of wine glasses. I set them on the table as Reid went into my room to change, he was so shy , My phone rang and I picked it up, “ hello.” “ Hey so I have an update on Reid’s mystery girl,” Garcia rambled . “Oh have you,” I said looking out on of my windows. “ YES, so at the restaurant that Reid went to I asked for any reservations for that specific time and I cross checked all the names but one stuck out the name was Irene Adler, can you believe it, they’re using code names, i’m getting so close I can feel it in my bones,” Garcia sighed. I noticed Reid had emerged in a black shirt , Tardis pj pants and his glasses, I put a finger to my lips and smiled knowingly, “ code names wow she must be one smart cookie.” Spencer rolled his eyes and I playfully punched him in the shoulder. “ Yes, i’ll let you know when I get more ,” She said thoughtfully. “ Alright great because I have a bottle of wine with my name on it,” I chuckled. “ Ohhh can I come over,” She begged. My eyes went wide and I bit my lip before saying, “ listen Penelope, you know I love you but remember what I told you about me needing alone time, I don’t get energy from people like you do and these cases have really been wearing me out, but maybe on the weekend okay?”  She sighed loudly, “ fine FINE go enjoy yourself, I will do more digging.” I laughed, “ thank you , see you tomorrow, love you.” “ Yeah yeah,” she said then hung up. “ When did you become so masterful at lying,” Spencer asked as I hopped onto the couch next to him. “ Years of pretending my mom said no when I got invited to parties,” I said with a smile, “ now, do you want to know how cleaver she thinks Dr Reid’s new girlfriend is.” “ Oh I already know,” He said pulling me into a hug, “ I know how cleaver and beautiful and cute she is.” He always did this to make me all flustered. I pressed my face into his shirt so I didn’t have to look at him,” no fair, that’s cheating.”  “ I am just stating facts it is my favorite thing to do, now are we going to watch the movie,” he asked . “ Obviously,” I said gently sitting myself up so I could grab the remote and hit play then I snuggled back into his arms.  

When we started dating he was so nervous, he always was scared of doing the wrong thing, he apologized a lot. Luckily for him I was just as nervous and now look at us! Pros who talk during the entire movie either about random facts or making stupid jokes and have competitions on who can throw more popcorn in their mouth.

We stayed up later than we should have last night, it could have been the wine, it could have been me refusing to let Spencer win against me, but either way we were both at the coffee maker at work. “ Wohh, long night,” Derek asked me. Spencer seemed to naturally look tired all the time so I guess it was more obvious with me. I shrugged, “ I thought wine on a Wednesday was a good idea.” Derek laughed, “ no it is not, so Reid, any update on that girl of yours , when are we going to meet her?” “ Yeah come on,” I chimed in just to see him get a little flustered. He blushed ,grabbed his coffee then just walked out. I shrugged, “ oh well we tried.” Derek sighed, “ I thought you guys were close , you haven't heard anything.” I rolled my eyes, “ you know Spencer, he is a pretty tightly closed book.” He nodded and waved as I walked back to the tech corner. Garcia was typing a bit intensely on her computer. “ Good morning,” I said carefully. She didn’t turn around she simply said, “ I have an update on the mystery girl, it’s in a file on your desk.” I looked over and sure enough there was a case file that said “ Reid’s girlfriend” . I opened up to see my face, I bit my lip, “ how?” “ How, how,” She huffed, “ I decided to track Reid’s phone which is know isn’t necessarily fair but I was curious, and you know what it led to , your apartment complex. So I did some investigating and went to your apartment and I hear two voices in your living room and one sounded oddly like one Doctor Reid.” I sighed, “ we just wanted to make sure it was real before we said anything and Reid didn’t want to be teased by Derek.” “ Well,” She asked. I blushed a little and looked down, “ three months.” “WHAT, HOW how , I don’t understand how you have been keeping this from me for so long,” She gasped, “ I’m enraged you just lied to me!” “ Please it wasn’t anything personal we just didn’t want the extra pressure it’s kind of both of our first real relationship,” I mumbled. “ Noooooo really,” She said shocked. “ Penelope I was in MARCHING BAND in highschool, no one was lining up to date me,” I laughed, “ and in college I was more focused on getting out of college.” She nodded, “ fine….does he make you happy? Is he different outside work?” I smiled, “ I can only give away so many secrets in one day, but yes he makes me very happy hes smart and incredibly handsome, what is there more to ask for.” “ Awww i’m so happy for you two, but mad you hid it, but so happy,” She sighed then hugged me tightly, “ When can I tell everyone.” I rubbed my neck, “ not yet, please.” I knew that wouldn’t last but I wanted to give it a go. “ My lips are so sealed,” Penelope promised. I gave her a side glance then went back to my computer. I texted Spencer, “we have 12 hours of secrecy left Penelope tracked you last night.” “Are you nervous,” he replied. “ A little but , actually meet me in the hall 2 minuets,” I said, I couldn’t text this out.

I leaned on the wall tapping my fingers nervously. “ What is it ,” Spencer asked looking a bit worried. I smiled , “ Spencer I love you, from the moment I joined the BAU, from the moment we became friends, I loved you.” His eyes welled up with tears and his face was bright red , “ I, love you too.” He leaned over and kissed me I wrapped my arms around his neck and then we heard a light cough. We quickly separated and saw Penelope looking sheepish with Hotch, Rossi, Derek , Emily, and JJ all gathered around we were going to say something but they all just smiled, “ congratulations.” We let out a sigh of relief, guess the secrets out.

[the-marauders-enthusiast]

Red Hair and Butterbeer

George Weasley x Reader

(not my gif)

1.6k words

Category: fluff :)

Summary: You work at The Three Broomsticks as a waitress. The best days on the job are when you see a certain red-haired wizard walk into the Inn.

-

A little extra foam, and the drink was perfect. You carried two platters filled with drinks from table to table, seeing the happy smiles on customer's faces. This was a regular occurance for you, as you worked at The Three Broomsticks.

You got this job because your parents were struggling with money lately, so you wanted to help them out as much as you could. Of course, it wasnt the most fun experience, so you were glad you only worked on weekends (as you were in school during the week).

your favorite days on the job, however, were when students went to Hogsmeade. Not only did you make the most money those days, you also got to see a certain red-haired boy.

he never really payed attention to you, and youve only ever talked a few times during class. However you always like serving him his drinks, as he would give you his attention for the slightest moment, and then continue with his conversation.

Today was one of those Hogsmeade days, and you saw him talking to his twin, Fred, and Lee Jordan.

You walked to their table to deliver their Butterbeers, watching as George conversed with his friends. He saw you walking towards them, making eye contact for a few seconds before you arrived at their table.

“Hey boys, Here's your Butterbeers !” You said cheerily, watching the smiles grow on their faces. You placed their glasses down on the table, but as you gave George his glass, he reached up to grab it. You felt his fingers slightly brush against yours, as you once again made quick eye contact.

You stumbled over your words before saying, “Call me over when you're ready to pay.”

You saw him smile at you quickly before you walked away to deliver more drinks. Without you noticing, George followed you with his eyes, watching as you gave customers their drinks.

“Ohhh i think Georgie has a crush!” Fred said enthusiastically. “Really? Who's the lady, Georgie?” Lee caught him staring at you, instantly smiling. “I don't know, Fred, I think he's in loooooove!!" Lee laughed, winking at him. George blushed and looked away, trying to surpress his smile.

They finished their drinks and called you over. You gave them a brilliant smile, and they payed for their Butterbeers.

“Have a good day!” you said, not expecting a reply.

You froze when George replied “You too” with a grin. It took you a few seconds to move from your spot, quickly going to another table.

You finished your shift for the day and went back to Hogwarts, smiling at the events from today. You fell asleep that night thinking of red hair and butterbeer.

Today was another Hogsmeade day, you were serving tables rapidly, quickly getting tired. You heard the bell ring at the door, meaning a customer was coming in. You sighed exasperatedly. Normally you would be happy to see a lot of customers, However today was a particularly busy day.

When you saw ginger strands passing through the Inn, your mood instantly brightened. You saw that today he was sitting alone, looking a little nervous. You furrowed your brows together, questioning why he was like that. You quickly walked to his table, without him noticing as he was lost in thought.

“Would you like the usual today?” he looked up quickly. “You remember my order?” Your eyes widened and you stuttered a little before saying, “u-uh yeah, of course, one frozen butterbeer with extra foam.” You looked at him nervously before he nodded and confirmed the order. You walked to the bar, telling the bartender George's order.

After serving some other tables, you were finally giving George his drink. You walked up to his table and placed down the drink, his fingers once again brushing against yours. “Enjoy your drink!” you said nervously, starting to walk away.

“Wait, (y/n)!” You froze for a millisecond, and after recollecting yourself, turned to face him. “You know my name?” you asked, surprised he even knew who you were. “Of course I do, we have a bunch of classes together. But thats besides the point. I was wondering if you would join me here after your shift?”

Your eyes widened, and he quickly started again, “I mean- it's okay if you dont want to, totally your choice, you dont have to-” “okay, sure” You interrupted, giving him a small grin. “You- you will?” He asked with a shocked expression. “Yeah! i still have to work for another 30 minutes, are you okay with waiting here?” He nodded quickly, giving you a small smile.

You continued working your shift, hoping for the time to fly by.

Once your shift was done, you walked to the backroom and changed out of your uniform into normal clothes, seeing Madam Rosmerta on your way out. “George Weasley, huh?” She smirked at you. “Shut up, Rosmerta” You laughed playfully. You put your hair down, fixing it a little, before walking into the room and towards George's seat.

You gave him a quick greeting, “Hey George”. He smiled at you before nodding towards the seat in front of him. You sat down before Madam Rosmerta appeared at your table asking for your orders.

“I'll have a frozen butterbeer with extra foam” he said brightly. “And ill have the same,” you added.

Rosmerta smirked at you quickly before walking to the bar. You looked at George quizzically before saying, “I'm sorry if this is weird, but why did you ask me to sit with you today?” He fiddled with his fingers for a bit before responding, “Well I've been wanting to ask you for a while, im kind of.. interested in you?”. He looked at you nervously and blushed. “Wait... is this a date?” you questioned. “Uh, i was hoping it was” He responded anxiously, “Why, do you not want to be here or-”

“No, no, it's not that at all! I'm just surprised.” You replied quickly, “Why are you surprised?” He looked confused. “It's just- You never really acknowledged me at school or anything. I just thought you'd never be interested,” You looked down.

He looked at you, baffled. “You seriously never noticed that i was staring at you in class like all the time?” Your eyes widened, “wait what?”

“Yeah, ive been practically pining after you for years!” You gasped, “No way, ive been practically pining after YOU for years!!” A grin broke on your face.

“You're kidding!” He laughed and sat back against the wall, you join in on his laughter.

It wasn't long before Madam Rosmerta came back with two frozen Butterbeers with extra foam. She placed the drinks on the table, smiling at the two of you.

“Cheers!”, He said, clanking your drinks together. You took a sip of your Butterbeer, putting the glass back on the table and looking up at George. He took a glance at you and laughed quietly. You frowned, “What are you laughing at?” He pointed to your mouth and another laugh escaped his lips. “You have some foam on your lip” He smiled. You quickly tried wiping away the foam. “Did i get it?” you asked cluelessly.

“not quite.” He leaned over the table and wiped away the foam. He continued staring at your lips before whispering, “May i?”. You felt yourself move forward as you nodded at him. He closed the gap between you two, and kissed you softly. It was sweet, as he tasted of Butterbeer. You returned it, kissing him just as soft, felling him smile against your lips. He broke off the kiss, smiling warmly at you.

You could feel your face reddening, and you twiddled your thumbs nervously. “That was..” you smiled. “-brilliant”, he finished. You looked down, smiling from ear to ear. When you clocked in to work today, you did not think you would be kissing George Weasley while having Butterbeers together.

“So do you wanna come back here tomorrow?” He asked, smiling softly. “I don't have work tomorrow so I'll be free for the day. I'd be happy to” you beamed.

After paying for your drinks, you both left The Three Broomsticks and went back to hogwarts, excited for the day awaiting you.

You were on the train to Hogsmeade with your friends, excited to spend the day with George. You vividly remember yesterday's events, and you were so glad it wasn't a dream. Once you got off the train, you walked to The Three Broomsticks to look for him. When you went inside, you noticed that the Inn was packed. You couldnt see George anywhere, but you did see Harry, Ron and Hermione. You figured that if anyone would know where he was it would be them.

You walked up to their table. Hermione looked up at you, “hey (y/n), can we get one hot butterbeer-” “im not working today Hermione” you interrupted, laughing slightly. “Oh, are you here with anyone?” she asked curiously.

“Well im supposed to meet George here-” Ron raised his eyebrows, “-but I don't know where he is. Have any of you seen him?” You heard a bell jingle and looked at the door, seeing the tall red-head walk in. You smiled wide before turning back to the trio, “Found him! I'll see you guys later!” You grinned and walked towards George.

“Hey,” you said softly. George gave you a greeting in return, then intertwined your hands together. You looked at eachother for a quick second before going to sit at a table. You talked for a while, laughing and smiling at eachother, enjoying eachothers company.

Suddenly he looked at you softly and said “(y/n).. i really like you.” You smiled at him in return, replying “I really like you too George, and i hope we can keep going on dates like this.”

He leaned closer to you and tucked your hair behind your ear, his hand moving to hold your chin lightly. He tilted your head up and leaned down to you. You fluttered your eyes closed and pressed your lips together. He brushed his hand down your arm, and held your hand. Ron, seeing this from across the room, choked on his Butterbeer. You broke the kiss and smiled up at him, squeezing his hand.

He leaned down and whispered, “Be my girlfriend?” You nodded and kissed him again, smiling.

You spend the rest of the day together, excited about your new relationship and what it could bring.

[nicco-needs-love]

Back with the last two chapters! Quick warning, this is the chapter with a quick description of gore! It's short and it's not a canon character <3 y'all are so sweet omg- this is a looong one. Pretty sure it's around 4k .

(2/3)Red Proposal

"Ooooh isn't this exciting?! We're going to a wedding! God, this is awesome!"

"Shut up, rat! If I hear one more word about this damn thing we aren't  going!"

"Awww, come on, angel baby! This is an exciting day for everyone! I mean, we could take some pointers from this-"

"Shut up!"

Hyde is silenced by a pillow slamming against his face. Licht huffs, getting off their bed and stomping into their bathroom.

Hyde laughs, peeling the pillow off his face. He can't help but be excited, it's a wedding! Especially since it's a wedding for one of his siblings, most shockingly is Ildio getting married! Hyde is a sucker for weddings, the most romantic day of someone's life. Well, it's been about ten days out of Hyde's life, he tries not to think about that. He got up hours ago, already getting ready for Ildio's wedding. There's a dress code, obviously fancy attire, the really interesting thing though is that the wedding theme is all white. Hyde finds it ironic, a vampire and a mafia boss, having an all white wedding. Honestly it's a beautiful thing.

"Angelllll…! Don't leave me alone! I wanna cuddle~!"

"Oh my fucking god Hyde!"

Licht kicks open the bathroom door, clearly 'irritated'. Hyde laughs, his arms wide open for a well deserved cuddle session.

"Pleaseee!  Baby!"

Licht huffs, not in the mood to argue about this. He thinks that Hyde may actually need this. Licht doesn't ask about Hyde's past, it's a touchy subject for obvious reasons. The only time he really hears about it is during Hyde's emotional occasional rants. He knows that Hyde has been married multiple times, which is something that many people do, it's completely normal. However, multiple marriages don't have the same circumstances as Hyde's. Licht can understand that today can be an emotional day. So, he decided a few nights ago, when they got the wedding invitation and when Hyde started crying; that Licht would be much more tolerable to Hyde's antics. He lies down in Hyde's arms, Licht's face against Hyde's shoulder.

"There. Happy now?"

Hyde hums, laying his head on top of Licht's, smiling into his hair.

"Mhm. Very."

Unfortunately for Licht, he's very comfortable. This is a daily occurrence, much to Licht's 'dismay'. He's gotten used to Hyde's emotional swings, between being completely neurotic and bursting into tears. These little moments, usually last around ten minutes, are a highlight of Licht's day. No one would ever hear those words from his mouth, though.

"Y'know… I'm kinda worried for Wor and his Eve. Their wedding isn't gonna be public but it's much more public than I thought they were gonna do."

"What do you mean? It's a wedding, not a cult ritual. "

"No, no, I mean anyone could show up. I still remember Child's look when he found out there would be another wedding. I don't think he himself would do anything but his subclass? I'm not too sure."

"I think you're thinking too much into it, why would he even want to ruin a day like that? If it's not meant to be, they'll just divorce."

Hyde goes silent for a moment, mulling over not Licht's words, but Hugh's. Hugh would keep glancing over at Hyde while talking about how marriage doesn't work for Servamps. That it's just a painful thing for both of them. Hyde knows that Hugh was talking to Ildio, but the words felt directed at him. Even though he doesn't think about her anymore, it's a topic that will never be let go during meetings.

"Hey, it's rare for you to shut up."

Licht's words drag Hyde out of his thoughts. 

"Aha, sorry angel, just started thinking."

"Well. Stop thinking about other things, start thinking about me, an angel. "

Licht can feel Hyde smile against his head.

"Yeah, you're right, angel. You're the best to think about."

Hyde shouldn't be thinking about the negative things, especially on such a joyful day. He just can't help it. So much negativity has happened in the lives of the Servamps. Why would luck grace any of them today?

"This is going to be the best day of my life… this is going to be the best day of my life this is-" 

Niccolò keeps repeating that mantra in his head, it's not that he doesn't think this will be the best day of his life. He's just cripplingly worried and anxious about this day. What if he messes up? What if he falls down on his face while walking down the aisle? What if Ildio decides that's it, he doesn't want to get married? What if-

"Boss. Are you alright?"

Nicco looks over to Cappuccino, snapping out of yet another one of his worry sessions.

"Ah, I'm fine. Just… worrying."

"Shouldn't you-"

A knock on the door startles Niccolò, the door opens slowly.

"Sorry to interrupt, I just would like to have a conversation with Niccolò Carpe Diem."

The door completely opens, revealing a man that Niccolò doesn't know. By the look of the suit, he's most likely a member of another family. Nicco swallows heavily, feeling somewhat nervous at the sight of this. He takes a few steps forward, offering his hand to the stranger. In the corner of his eye, Nicco can see Cappuccino with a hand in his shirt, where everyone keeps their guns holstered. 

"Nice to meet you."

The stranger takes his hand, shaking it quite enthusiastically. 

"It's a pleasure to finally meet the new leader of the family! I knew your father, he was a wonderful man."

Niccolò raises a brow, giving a small smile. This man certainly caught Nicco off guard. He thought he knew everyone back when Father was alive. As he was ill for a long time, Nicco had met everyone within his father's social circle since he was going to inherit the family. With shame, Nicco thinks that he could not be paying enough attention to the events of other familiar families. He's done a decent job gaining all their trust but all of that could go away at any moment, it's a terrifying thought to Niccolò. 

"R-really? Well, it's wonderful to meet you again. You're welcome to stay if you'd like. This is a personal event and I don't think we've been in contact so this may be an awkward situation. "

The man shakes his head, still holding Nicco's hand. Nothing seems wrong with the man, his tone and presence seem harmless. Still, Nicco is on edge.

"What personal event is it? I just wanted to meet the new kingpin after your father's passing."

Niccolò drops the man's hand, the term 'kingpin' catching his attention. It's a word that Nicco hasn't heard in a long time. Especially in the business he's in, that word is very much a buzzword, a word that isn't used kindly. If this man actually knows the family, then that word would not be used.

"Forgive my rudeness but, which family are you a part of?"

The man smiles,

"Serpente."

Niccolò freezes, blood running cold. This family name… Nicco remembers it far too well, they were the first family that Nicco spared. He spared their boss, thinking that family would leave the city. Instead… They set aflame the building where a child and parents of a very close family of Nicco's. To this day, Niccolò still tears himself apart about it. If only he had shot that boss… He tenses, not too sure how to continue the conversation-

"Anyway, what event is going on today?"

Before Niccolò can even speak, the Serpente family member speaks. Nicco isn't sure he should even tell this man. However, if he acts suspicious now, things could go horribly wrong.

"It's uh… today's my wedding."

"Your wedding!? Well, who's the lucky lady?"

Nicco goes quiet, not sure what to say to this. For the few people that know about this wedding, they're fine with it. Not many people even need to know anyway, marriage isn't going to affect his job, and that's the most important thing. There's also the fact this marriage is complicated, it isn't a 'conventional' wedding. A gay marriage, a gay marriage with an immortal vampire and notorious mafia boss.

"Uhm… Well, I'm marrying a man. I'd say I'm the lucky one."

Niccolò chuckles, trying his damndest to add some humor. He isn't sure who this man is, besides the name… His hands are uncomfortably clammy, he's getting increasingly nervous by the moment. The man gives Nicco a look. A look that Nicco can place from looks he has seen in the church. Years of flashbacks, years of self loathing, years of tears. All of that from one glare. Niccolò takes a small step back, the step signaling Cappuccino to get a grip on his gun. Nicco doesn't want to start a fight, especially today. He already had started getting ready for the wedding. He was going to be the one walking down the aisle. Already in his white suit. The last thing Nicco wants is to get into a fight with the stranger, getting either his own blood or this man's everywhere.

"I see… Well, I hope you have a wonderful wedding! I'd love to stay for the ceremony! I'll be back for the meals!"

The man laughs, walking right out where he came. Niccolò blinks, he sighs loudly, tension leaving his shoulders like a boulder. 

"Grazie Dio…"

He comments, shoulders slumping down.

"Did he say he was a part of… Serpente?"

Cappuccino says hesitantly, not sure if he heard right. Nicco nods, rubbing his temple. 

"Yes… I'm not sure he was telling the truth…"

Niccolò knows he shouldn't let this get to him, it could have just been a new boss wanting to make amends with Nicco. Yet, here he is, getting freaked out and very weary of what just happened. 

"This is going to be the best day of my life… This is going to be the best day of my life."

"Ohhh this is so exciting oh my god! You're getting married!"

"Law, shut up."

The wedding just began. Ildio waiting at the altar, the best men and women of both grooms on each side of the altar. Ironically, a priest at the forefront of said altar. It's a beautiful sight, everyone all dressed in white suits and dresses. White chiffon curtains tied to trees, white rose petals scattered throughout the grounds, a gorgeous pearl white five-tier cake, it's a stunning scene. All the chairs filled with people, there aren't many chairs, a grand total of twelve. The Servamps are standing with Ildio, the best men, and one woman. Even Hugh showed up, it took a lot of convincing but he ended up showing up. Of course, when he did, Hyde gave Hugh a long talk about saying anything negative today. Surprisingly, he agreed and even apologized. Their Eves are all sitting down in the pure white chairs. The other chairs filled with Niccolò's family. Ildio even got to meet Niccolò's sister, who looks uncannily similar to Nicco. She's a very kind person, can't hold a candle to the kind heart or beauty of Niccolò, but still a very kind and lovely person.

The only thing the wedding is missing is Niccolò. Ildio can't help but be excited for this. A moment that he never thought he would ever experience in his life. Or even want to experience. Yet, here he is, wanting to marry Niccolò, wanting to spend as much time with him as he possibly can. It could be the romantic movies that Hyde would make Ildio watch when those movies were all the rage. Ildio can't wait to see Nicco walk down the aisle, to see his beautiful face. It's almost comical how much Ildio has changed, gone is the man who only wanted food and blood. Well, he still needs both of them, those things just aren't the only things he thinks about now.

A quiet song starts to play in the background, a song that Ildio knows very well from long drives together with Niccolò. La storia infinita. If the couple were to have a song, this would be it. The song is slower than usual, the lyrics accompanied by a soft piano. 

Then… There he is. The man that Ildio is helplessly in love with. Niccolò Carpe Diem. He always looks beautiful but today… Today he looks ethereal. It's ironic because Nicco always calls Ildio his God but here, Nicco is the one who looks like an Adonis. He's wearing a pure white suit, fitting him perfectly in all the right places, the cuffs of his coat and pants are a delicate lace. Nicco's long, beautiful hair is placed in a low bun. A sheer, delicate lace veil covers Niccolò's face. The last detail, the thing that makes him look even more stunning is a dark green rose in his suit pocket. Ildio has no words; their song playing quietly in the background, Niccolò looking like a God walking down the aisle. Ildio can't help the tears starting to roll down his face. He can't name a time that he's ever cried happy tears, or cried ever.

Niccolò continues walking up the aisle, the beautiful song picks up in sound, right as Nicco reaches the altar. He can't believe it. This is the day he's getting married. Getting married to Ildio of all people. It's not that Nicco didn't think he would ever fall in love. The thing is, he never thought anyone would love him back. Niccolò never thought that someone would care enough about him emotionally or romantically. Yet, here he is, getting married to the man he is hopelessly in love with. Nicco knows that he won't live forever, it's a horrible thing to think about, that one day, he'll die and leave Ildio behind.

The preacher starts speaking, reading from a holy book; going silent for each of them to recite their vows.

"I, Niccolò Carpe Diem, take thee, World End, Ildio, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better and for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till…"

Niccolò goes silent for a moment, thinking about this word. 'Till death do us part.' Nicco isn't sure he wants to say that, he feels like it would be disrespectful to Ildio because death will do them part… Except Nicco is the only one who'll die.

Ildio grabs one of Niccolò's hands, rubbing the inside of his palm, as if telling Nicco it's okay. At this point, tears are running down both of their faces, tears of extreme joy, but tears nonetheless. They aren't the only ones either. Almost everyone in the ceremony is reduced to tears.

"-Till death do us part. According to my beliefs, I hereby pledge to you my eternal love."

Ildio inhales, he can't believe he's hearing these words. These words that he's thought about hearing from Niccolò's mouth many times. Actually hearing them is an entirely different thing. He didn't expect a slight crack at some of the words, Nicco shakily inhaling from tears. Nor did Ildio expect Nicco to stop in the middle of the vows, as if asking to continue with the last few verses. 

"I, World End, Ildio, take you, Niccolò Carpe Diem, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for rich and for poor, in sickness and health, to love and cherish until… Until death do us part. I pledge to you all my love."

Ildio turns red after finishing his vows. He missed a few things, he tried to memorize the vows but he couldn't help getting lost looking at Niccolò. The lines about death taste sour in his mouth. He wants to just forget about the fact that he's a Servamp. That one day he'll outlive his precious Nicco. For now, all Ildio can do is hope to ignore it.

"Is there anyone who wishes to object to this holy, wonderful matrimony?"

Silence. Nicco had turned his head for just a moment to see if anyone was going to say anything, he turns back to Ildio, smiling. Ildio grabs the ring that he picked out, picking up Niccolò's hand-

BOOM!

It's as if time starts to slow. Ildio looks at Nicco, seeing a large splotch of red starting to bloom against his shoulder. Niccolò stumbles, catching himself before he can fall or before Ildio can catch him. The blood quickly travels to cover almost all of Nicco's front suit. 

A loud shrill scream echoes throughout the lot, a scream from Nicco's sister. 

Ildio sees red. Not red from blood. No, red hot rage. So furious that he can't see anything but red. Following the smell of the gunpowder, he runs to the shooter. It all goes red.

Niccolò presses an unsteady hand against the gunshot wound, a shot from a revolver. He knows he won't die from a shot like this, he's had much worse injuries. His waistcoat is stark red, a horrifying contrast against the white. Nicco looks around, desperately hoping that everyone is okay. He meets eyes with his sister, who is racing over to him.

"Oh Mio Dio Niccolò?! Stai bene!?"

"Sto bene, sorella…"

Niccolò speaks Italian in a shaky voice. He's shocked, not going into shock, but shocked that he would be shot on his damn wedding day. Niccolò's sister grabs his hands, looking terrified. 

"I'm okay… Just shaken up."

"Sh-shaken up!? You've been shot, Nicco!"

Niccolò looks down, realizing the blood is traveling to his pants as it's completely covering his shirt. Some of his blood paints his sister's dress, staining a large portion of the bottom white tulle red. 

Loud, vicious moist sounds fill the air. Terror grips Niccolò, he turns to look where the sound is, terrified that something may have just happened to his beloved Ildio-

Jesus…

Ildio is panting, whole body heaving in quick breaths. Blood is everywhere. Covering his mouth, bits and pieces in his hair, his entire outfit is entirely deep crimson. Beneath his feet is a body, or… the small remains of a body. All that's left is an open chest, organs strewed throughout the entire yard. Deep red mush where the head is supposed to be, legs and arms gone, thrown in multiple different directions. A large pool of blood is beneath Ildio, obviously not his, but the shooter. A large gun, the one that shot Nicco, lays a few feet away. Niccolò feels sick, bile rising in his throat at the sight. He's seen Ildio's rages. He thought he had seen the worst. This… This is the most violent thing Nicco has ever seen. He turns his head to retch, moving over not to get any of his morning breakfast on any of the guests who haven't run for the hills. Which none of them have.

Niccolò walks over to Ildio, trying very hard to ignore the squelching of his shoes in blood.

"...Il?"

The red slowly fades back to color, Ildio coming back to his senses. He looks around, taking in the gory scene beneath him. He takes a few steps back, eyes widening. He's done this before, he's let his fury take hold of him. However, this is the worst that Ildio has ever been. Ildio turns around, catching Niccolò just in time before his body hits the ground.

"Ti ho usata come una risposta. Ma eri milioni di domande." 

(Just to not confuse anyone, the last line is the last verse from their wedding song^^)

[muwur]

long distance headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for daichi, suga, hinata & tsukki

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.5k words

a/n: hello yall this is my first post! nobody asked, but i just started this haikyuu reader insert blog, feel free to check my page n see wazzap. also requests are open pls come fhorfjepfiwf;

daichi

✧ after high school, he stayed in miyagi while you went to tokyo, about 5 hours away, for college

✧ texting or calling whenever u can!

✧ you be like “heyyy”

✧ then he clap back with a “go focus on your lecture”

✧ “im not in lectureee”

✧ “you gave me your schedule so i know you’re in the middle of class”

✧ “...”

✧ makes sure you’re awake on time for your classes and calls you if he thinks you’re oversleeping (and hes usually right, this man just KNOWS)

✧ “morning y/n, i think you need to get to class soon”

✧ “mmrghhhghhh” *checks time* “holy sHI-- i forgot to set my alarm. IMMA BE LATE. THANKS DAICHI I LOVE YOU ILL TALK TO YOU LATER BYE”

✧ definitely skips out on some nights out with his friends to video chat you. you catch up, talk about future plans, reminisce, complain about not being able to hug one another, etc. occasionally one of you falls asleep on call, particularly after a long day or week. if he sleeps, you make sure you screenshot his sleeping face and start a picture collection  

✧ you hit him up when you get drunk lMAO

✧ “daiichiii, i miss youuu, i needdd youuuu AND i needa peeee---” “hey daichi, this is y/n’s friend. y/n’s pretty out of it now but they’ll be okay! we’re heading back to our place right now” “im gonna pEE IN THIS CAR”

✧ daichi coordinates with your friends to make sure you arrive home safely, use the bathroom, and get tucked into bed. he thanks the universe you have good friends. if it weren’t for them he’d probs have a heart attacc. sends you cute, reassuring voice messages for you to wake up to the next morning with hangover tips he learned from suga

✧ always checks in with you throughout the day, every day. able to pick up on the slightest hints if you’re feeling unwell and calls you immediately to try to make you feel better

✧ makes plans to visit you! you get really excited to introduce him to your college friends (who, after meeting him, tell you not only is he a hottie but is such a kind guy, fosho a keeper. they also ask if he has any cute friends)

✧ either holding your hand or has an arm around you most of the time.

✧ you spend all day together outside and wandering the city, then spend the night back at your place (sorry roommate, but we’re gonna have to kick you out for a lil bit--)��   

sugawara

✧ you finally secured a job! unfortunately, the company required you to work for a year at their main facility, which was a 4 hour drive away from miyagi

✧ if suga wasn’t needed in miyagi for his teaching job, he would’ve tried to come with you

✧ after unloading your things in your new apartment and before parting ways, suga was like

✧ “everything’s unloaded everything from the car?”

✧ “yes maam”

✧ “do you have enough snacks?”

✧ “we just went to the grocery hun”

✧ “did you bring enough underwear?”

✧ “gDI yEs I dID”

✧ “:c promise to call me often”

✧ “<3333 of course”</p>

✧ good morning texts before y’all leave for work! you send each other cute pictures when you’re getting ready for the day (suga with bedhead, brushing his teeth? suga with his tie half done?? sign me up)

✧ always texts you when something reminds him of you, usually sends a picture along with it

✧ “the store was having a special on oranges today! this one reminds me of you”

✧ “why”

✧ “it just looks so cute~”

✧ will immediately call you if you send him any sort of message that worries him

-“hello? y/n what’s wrong, why is there blood?? speak to me, you haven’t replied in 5 minutes”

✧ “ohhh my bad, i’m just cleaning up don’t worry! i didn’t explain, but the picture i sent you isn’t blood, it’s ketchup i spilled on myself lolol”

✧ poor man nearly fainted from worry

✧ would pay you a surprise visit, making sure to plan it carefully so he knew you weren’t busy with work or plans. brings you gifts of your favorite snacks and a scarf that matches one of his own for the upcoming winter

✧ plans out that weekend for y’all, mans did his research beforehand. together, you toured the city and the surrounding nature, took lots of selfies (and many candids of you), and taste tested lots of foods before returning to your apartment and collapsing into your bed with exhaustion

✧ but y’all not too tired for cuddling n a lil something else >.>

hinata

✧ sure, being a couple hours away was hard for some... but y’all in different countries right now

✧ calls you immediately when there’s any inconvenience that occurs in his life, no matter how minor, thinking you’ll know how to fix it (or at least give him the reassurance he needs)

✧ “hey y/n...”

✧ “what’s wrong? you sound worried”

✧ “i broke my bike, what do i do”

✧ “you what? are you alright?? how? where are you? it’s midnight there, honey”

✧ “i was biking back to my apartment after staying late to practice! i didn’t wanna hit this turtle, so i swerved into a pole and now my bike’s wrecked :**”

✧ “ahh, are you okay?? you’re not hurt are you :(”

✧ “no, im okay... but im tired and i have two miles to go ;(((”

✧ “;( im sorry babe but you gotta walk home. we’ll get you a new bike. ill stay on the phone with you until you get back. tell me about your day <3″</p>

✧ talks about you all the time to his friends! introduces you through video chat to them! “look how pretty and cute y/n is!”

✧ together you work out your time differences and busy schedules so you can chat whenever possible

✧ he lets you know whenever he bought something for you, but never shows it to you because he’s excited to see your reaction in person when you reunite

✧ always asks you to send him pictures of yourself, he wants to see what you look like everyday he’s missing you in real life

✧ you surprise visit HIM. he’s so happy he could cry. shows you around every place he loves, shows you off to everyone he knows, holds your hand the entire time and never wants to let go, is practically glued to you not that you mind  

✧ you spend your last night together lying in the grass, hand in hand, looking at the stars and sharing sweet kisses  

tsukishima

✧ y’all went to separate universities. while he stayed relatively close to miyagi, you went across the country to okinawa, which was about a 3 hour flight away

✧ he sees all the couples around campus n becomes lowkey bitter, texts you immediately about gross pda like hand holding that he secretly wishes he could do with you “these people in relationships are too happy, i didn’t ask to see them gawk at each other all day” “u just miss me lmao”

✧ once overheard a convo on a shuttle at school that went like :

✧ person 1: “ugh, he’s so cute”

✧ person 2: “why dont you go out with him??”

✧ person 1: “i dunno, his dorm’s down the street, i can’t really do long distance”

✧ nANI (by the way, this is a irl conversation my friend overheard, oml)

✧ tsukki nearly choked on his morning coffee

✧ bothers texts you in class bc he’s bored and in need of your attention

✧ “hey tsukki this prof’s lectures are rlly dense, i needa focus, ill text u after”

✧ “but arent i more interesting than rocks”

✧ “trust me, id even rather watch some dino documentaries with you than be here”

✧ *read*

✧ likes to chat with you most nights as he lies in bed before going to sleep, staring up at the dark ceiling and listening to your voice through his headphones. usually just talking about how your days went (as if you weren’t texting all day) or just casual talk and banter

✧ you remind him to make sure he’s taking care of himself and eating well

✧ “who are you? my mother?”

✧ “no but you’re about to be single”

✧ surprise visits you, tells you it was yamaguchi’s idea when it was really his own and yamaguchi was just teasing him about it  

✧ you show him around the city, sharing what you know about its rich history and culture. you visit most areas you both wanted to see before calling it a day

✧ your roommate conveniently spends that night over at their friend’s they just wanna give you alone time, which y’all very much needed. you make it a note to repay your roommate somehow.

✧ sweet lovin that he’s been missing, then some spooning as you sleep    

a/n: just wanna tackle these about 4 characters at a time but if u wanna see this headcanon w/ other characters feel free to hmu w/ an ask <3<b> also sorry if i text type a lot and that im inconsistent with my apostrophes, let me know if that’s something you want me to fix! 

[starryfreckles]

Flavie and Ayumi Live (26 mai 2020 on YouTube francetv slash) 

Translation/Summary -

(I apologise in advance for the typos. i didnt really read this over tbh)

Interviewer: Where are you at the moment?

Flav: I’m at home, in my room

Ayumi: I’m at my country house in my room. [Her friend joined her there when deconfinement happen and now they’re living their best life. There’s sun and everything is good]

Flav is chilling “la vida loca” she says

Is it not too frustrating to live this 6th season in confinement and SKAM France has a reputation of having very involved fans and with the screenings?

A: Yes, its very frustrating but then again it’s something that I haven’t really lived the projections with the fans so I dont know what it does. But just the feedback of social media is incredible. Its a good preview at what can happen in a live screening.

F: Yea I agree. It is frustrating but seeing everyone on social media is kind of reassuring and comforting and like Ayumi said, we dont know that [the screenings] so its not that frustrating.

what kind of reactions have you guys had on social media?

[flav and ayumi arguing who goes first. Its the cutest thing ever. Flav always wants ayumi to go first]

A: Just love and positivity. On my end is really incredible. I thank everyone. It’s really just incredible.

F: Its so wonderful. At night, I really try to read all the dms on instagram and even if I cant respond to everyone, know that I read everything and I translate everything that isn’t in French. If I  were to reply to everyone, it would take a long time so that’s not possible. I dont speak all the languages of the world so I copy and paste is translate to understand.

-video cuts out-

I: we were talking about fan reactions so let’s continue. Have you gotten any that made you surprised, laugh, smile, made you emotional, etc?

A: what is beautiful is that ive gotten many messages from girls and boys who said that they had similar a similar relationship to Lola and Maya in the sense that one helps the other more because of addiction problems. And that’s always nice to hear that they just wanted to thank skam for writing and portraying this kind of story. And of course the reaction of la mif. It’s true the character Jo has been loved by fans. She is so funny and so great and she’s [actress who plays jo, louise] really like that in real life. Like literally from A to Z

Flav agrees.

A: “Louise just played Louise” and it’s just so funny. And everyone online says they want to be friends with jo becuase she made this joke pr did that but she’s really like that.

F: she’s always joking

A: and she just comes up with stuff on the spot

I: we really just can’t wait to see La Mif reunite and see how they are in real life because they are just awesome on screen.

Flav and ayumi agree

I: Maya’s arrival to the season that was a little intense, let’s not lie, is like a ray of light. What does that do to you for having that role of the character who brings light and wonder? (This is kinda hard to translate)

A: its incredible to bring that kind of message, like you said, this light. She is totally this kind of girl that I would love to be friend with. It’s hard to explain. It’s just so beautiful. Maybe flav has something to say.

F: it’s true that you and La Mif brought a light for everyone. Even me when I see my family and close ones they say that they are so funny and new and that they felt my pain [as lola] even if its a show and its feels weird to see you like that because you’re close to us but seeing them [lola + la mif] is a good mix. And ayumi you bring so much like when your face lights up when Lola comes up the stairs its incredible.

A: its a chemical reaction. Its incredible. But flav I saw you on screen and everything that you brought, what David saw. And we lived it but for us it seems natural and on screen and rediscovered the characters and the chemistry at the same time as everyone else.

Flav and Ayumi saying that they havent seen the whole thing before hand and are constantly check their phone for new clips. They have the notifications for the YouTube channel.

F: we at least have the hours for the clips AT LEASTT and thankfully

A: which flav sent me because I didnt have them and she left me panicked for 2 weeks and then she finally sent them over.

F: its great. They’re on my fridge and I cross off each day with my parents and we are one it. My dad everyday is like there’s a clip. So funny.

I: Just so we’re on the same page, there’s a clip today right?

I: [fan question] what do you love the most and the least in the character you play?

A: flav please start

F: I love her “who the fuck are you talking to me like that” and her fuck you attitude. I love that she shows off that nothing moves her but deep down not really, like everyone I guess. I love that about her and she’s so natural. I love her, I really love her. Something negative. That’s hard.

I: you are a very happy, bubbly person. Is there not her depressed, dark side that bothers you?

F: well lola is just full of emotions where we’re going to see everything. But really what I dont like is her fashion sense.

A: im dead. But I was going to say the same thing

F: maya’s fashion sense? You are crazy. And also girl it’s your clothes they used as costumes

A: no no but people have made edits with you know the big pink coat or my outfit at the supermarket and its there that I realised how ridiculous even if they not really.

F: well I think theyre great. Love the pink coat

A: ill send it to you with fedex. I dont have it but ill send it to you.

F: when we were doing costume fittings I told the costume designer that it was simple and that I would be stealing all of these looks. Im going to take a suitcase, im going to take ayumi’s clothes, put them in my suitcase and go back to Vance with them. And I took nothing from lola by the way. She just doesn’t have a style. She doesn’t neglect herself but its her I dont care attitude, again.

A; I love maya’s engagement and her will towards everything and everyone. Shes a teenager but that’s beautiful to be engaged in many causes. She just really wants everyone, her friends, to be well and happy. But otherwise things I dont like outside of her clothes I dont know. Clothes is like the best answer

F: you forgot about her makeup. The makeup artist did her eyeliner and dots under the eyes and I was there like do the same thing with me!

A: that is really the best thing in all of humanity. It was so cool.

F: honestly. The makeup artist gave everything on you but on me she went in the morning like poof poof ‘well that’s it honey, there’s nothing else I can do for you’

A: you forgot the drama hair!

F: oh my god. She would pour oils and everything you want on my head. “You could like cook French fries”

A: flavie says that but you know she can wear whatever she wants and still look good

F: awe I love you

I: Did the age difference between you hinder your ability to be friends?

A: no not at all. What do you think flav?

F: not at all. Im just the baby of the group, im the youngest but we all so dumb together that we don’t realise

A: exactly. We all act like we’re 7

F: all of us together is horrible. The whole mif. Intolerable.

I: how was youre guy’s first meet?

F: ok let me tell you from my point of view because its quite funny.

A: she was so annoying. She looked at me all weird. she was not cool No that’s not true at all. She was adorable. Trop cute

F: I arrive to the production offices and im with David signing contracts and he says don’t move I have a surprise. And im like oh no what has he brought me a croissant or something and he brings back ayumi. So we start talking for like 10 minutes and I did not who she was actually. And I was like who tf is this. I did not know. And im one point im like so she’s the one who plays Maya? It was so funny. It was cool. And then he brought Maxence

A: from my point of view, flavie was so shy and locked off. And I knew who she was and I was honoured and thrill. She was so small and closed off. But honestly NOT AT ALL. i quickly understood the next day that flavie is a bomb! You understand ?

F: at first maybe you were like “I just want to protect this little thing.”

I: so what was the first scene that you guys filmed together?

Ayumi makes it clear that it’s a scene that hasn’t been released yet. And Flavie can’t remember what it is.

A: flav, you are putting our whole relationship in question!

F: I just dont know!

A: ok but the second scene we did together was the scene of Saturday morning after the first urban party

F: OHHH you right! I remember now!

I: but that’s a great scene that fans loved because of the chemistry and people loved it. How did you create that complexity? Was it the writing or did you try to meet up on your own?

F: honestly, not that much because the problem is that I live in Vance. We really tried to see each other but trains made it difficult to see each other just us two, but it still worked somehow. We worked a lot with David but not so much just us too and yet we still manage to create something really strong and powerful.

A: in between scenes we also just talked all the freaking time. And by the time David said action, it was like we just finishing our conversation in the scene.

F: every morning we were always happy to see each other and we didn’t see each other that much but that honestly wasn’t a problem at all.

I: in the YouTube comments, everyone is slightly making fun of flavie for living so “far”

A: [also starts making fun of flavie] oh yea yea basically 45 minutes.

F: BY TRAIN! By car its like 2 hours and a half, so sorry.

A: you don’t even have a driver license! So you have to take the train!

F: alright I almost have my drivers license! Soon supposedly! And don’t worry ill come pick you up in my ride!

Ayumi makes more fun of Flavie for her hours of driving and her basically driving illegally (in France you can only drive at 18 and flav is 17)

I: what was the most difficult scene to film for you?

F: well im not gonna answer. I can’t answer

A: honestly I dont have any. Oh wait yes yes yes! I just remembered. Flav you do know! It’s the scene where I tell you that ive missed you.

F: oh right! You were sick right!

A: yea I had shrimp for lunch. Bad shrimp and in the scene im in process of dying. I have never been in more pain and discomfort.

F: and I was like why is she angry at me? What did I do?

A: and flav is like are you okay and thank god you were there flav because she was telling me breathe and take it slow. It was the difficult

F: for me the most difficult that we’ve seen is was hard because of weather conditions. It was so cold on the whole set but it was the one where we were around the fire and jo sees eliott for the first time, the first urbex party. We were getting fire embers in our eyes so we were all crying and complaining. It was awful. Louise was actually crying so so hard.

A: it was so funny. Louise was actually crying and was joking at the same time whilst crying. We were laughing so hard.

The say that night was still a lot of fun and then they all went to Quentin’s apartment [actor who plays sekou] and the ambiance on set is better than on screen. It was a lot of fun

A: la mif always has a great time, messing around

F: David would say “FOCUS FOCUS”

I: it was mid November, and we all know skam france shooting is very intense and fast. So David was like a police officers. We cant wait to see the behind the scenes. David in the comments says thank you to all the extras who were there until 4am

F:  oh yea honestly. Thank you– just thank you

A: oh yea flav thanks for that. Its great.

I: we know there’s a clip today with a reunion. And fans are expecting a kiss. Are we getting that moment today?

(Silence)

A: listen if there is a kiss, it will happen at a perfect moment

I: there is a lot of pressure on this kiss becuase there are so many people from the LGBTQ+ community who are saying that this kind of relationship is rarely seen on screen. Do you feel the need to do good?

F: its so well written and directed that we do want to do really well. Ok your turn

A: the want to do good, of crows but its already something we want to do. We are not forcing ourselves, because its already there.

They say that its sad for the time being that they have to continue to fight for rights in the LGBTQ community and Ayumi says that with SKAM its all going to change. They always get lovely messages thanking them.

They talk about the ship name and how fans have decided that is going to be Mayla. Ayumi is happy that its Mayla. Flav wanted Loyla. Ayumi says it was their first “fight” and they weren’t agreeing. Even la mif voted on the ship. It was heavily debated.

I: Are we right to have so much faith in Mayla or are you going to break our hearts?

F: for that you’ll have to keep watching

A: well said flav

F: l’amour gange toujours

I: what is next for you two?

F: not much. Im seeing friends at a distant. Stay safe. I was starting to miss my social life. Not going out too much because I really dont want to get “this vicious/awful thing” so yea “la vida loca”

F: project wise everything is on pause but im on a good path. Crossing my fingers. If it happens it happens. Its destiny

A: its destiny. Same thing. There was a movie that stopped before quarantine and won’t start again but there are castings. Until filming starts again, we are all waiting.

I: it’s funny, everything something is said, it gets translated in the comments in five or six languages. Have you taken something from your character and have you left them something?

A: her joy to live at everything. And give her my body to just exist

F: what I took, well nothing. I gave her 7kg more. Well actually I took from her 7kg. That’s it!

I: who forgets their lines the most?

F: ME! But you too kinda. You just talk SOOO fast you start to stutter

A: I talk too fast and then I stutter and it was so cold that that doesn’t help. So in front of flavie, she really made fun of me.

F: I didnt always forget but sometimes when its really long I forgot.

[betweensceneswriter]

Island Hopper-Chapter 17b: Sugar Sickness

Brand new chapter, but out of sequence.  Posted 10-16-2020

Previously Chapter 17: Bitter Jamie and Claire have different ideas about what being back together should look like.

ISLAND HOPPER Table of Contents

Back to work, we meet someone important, and an illness leads to an early parting.

    “Thirsty.  Lukkuun thirsty.  Alap awa.”

    Perkaj’s mother wiped her son’s forehead with a cool washcloth, looking at me with concern.

    “Lukuun kilep.  Now, bery skinny.”

    A group of children—siblings, cousins, and interested neighborhood kids—crowded around the mat where the little boy lay, feverish and unresponsive.  It had taken me several tries to say his name correctly.  Finally a patient cousin had grabbed my hand to get my attention.  “Him name Purr Gus” the little boy had said clearly, smiling as I repeated it.

    My heart had sunk at her first words.  Perkaj was thirsty all the time?  Just that one word had given me a preliminary diagnosis.  I was almost positive it was type I diabetes.  And how was a person to manage type one diabetes out on an outer island?  Spare insulin needed to be kept at a moderate room temperature. Since it didn’t often get above 85°F in the islands, it wouldn’t have to be refrigerated, but it would last longer if kept cool.  And if he ever ran out of it, he could quickly slip into a diabetic coma from high blood sugar.

    That was what appeared to be happening right now.

    I spread open my black bag—an iconic black leather satchel like the doctor’s bags of olden days.  I located the supplies I needed and pulled out the blood sugar monitor from its protective plastic bag, unwrapping a stiff testing strip and slipping it in the slot in the tester, then twisting off the plastic tip of the lancet.

    I heard the intake of breath as the children saw the gleam of the sharp lancet tip and sensed them all bending closer as I picked up Perkaj’s small hand and firmly pricked his fingertip.

    Watching his face for a response, I was grateful to see a shadow pass over his features at the pain.  At least there was a little consciousness still.

    Turning back to my task, I squeezed his finger and watched as the burgundy swell of blood appeared on his skin.  I gestured with my head toward the tester on the mat, and several pairs of small hands reached for it, one child passing it to me so I could meet the testing tip to the droplet of blood.

    A chorus of “ohhhs” was the response as the absorbent testing strip slurped the droplet of blood off Perkaj’s fingertip.

    “I need to be able to see,” I said, hoping my voice wasn’t too sharp.  I didn’t want to hurt their feelings, but all the little heads were blocking the light from outside.

    “Move,” ordered one of the mamas.  “Etal,” she added in Marshallese.   My little audience backed away reluctantly and I breathed a sigh of relief as a gentle breeze of cooler air from outside swept through the small house.

    My fears were confirmed when the tester flashed Perkaj’s current blood sugar level.  615.  Six hundred and fifteen?  Healthy was under 120.  Elevated was anything over 200.  Four hundred was seriously high.  Six hundred?  No wonder the boy, his features slack in unconsciousness, was so feverish.  Perkaj had indeed slipped into a diabetic coma.

    Although my medical bag held a multitude of items, insulin was not one of them.  The small stock of insulin I had was kept in the clinic in a brick enclosure. There may have been no means of refrigeration, but whoever had built the clinic had realized that caves tended to be cooler than the surrounding area and had created—in essence—a small root cellar for storing medicines that were sensitive to temperature.

    “I have to go get medicine,” I said, my Marshallese failing me in the moment of stress.   “Kottar jiddik—wait a little bit—and I’ll be back.”

    Perkaj’s house was in the town of Ine, just a half mile or so from the clinic.  I broke into a jog, trying to ignore the sensation of sharp rocks under the thin rubber of my flip-flops.  The sooner I got some insulin into him, the sooner Perkaj would recover and the fewer side effects he would suffer.

    “I’m not enough,” I panicked as I jogged.  “I don’t know enough.  I recognize diabetes, but I’m not an endocrinologist.  I need a doctor.  Perkaj needs the hospital.”

    The plans for the coming days swirled in my head.  Jamie and John were working on the solar still.  John would be leaving on the Jolok boat tomorrow—he needed to be back to Majuro on Thursday. Jamie and I had planned to ride the fishing boat with Kona on Thursday evening, knowing that our flight didn’t leave until Friday.  We had scheduled a little time for shopping on Majuro Friday morning.  We wouldn’t need a hotel;  Jamie had mentioned our need of a place to stay Thursday night to Mr. MacKenzie before he left on the final leg of the field ship voyage, at which Dougal had grinned and said Revka would be happy to sleep at a friend’s house so we could have her room.

    I was trotting past the Iroij’s palace when I realized I should call the hospital, remembering that the Iroij had one of the two satellite phones on the island.

    I smiled shyly at the man sitting on a chair by the gate into the Iroij’s property.   “Is the Iroij here?” I asked.  My brain scrambled for the words in Marshallese. “Iroij ijin?”

    He nodded toward the house with a low “Ayet, ijo,” and I walked up the white gravel pathway to the Iroij’s door.

    I’m not sure why I was surprised when the Iroij himself opened his door, but I smiled at the stocky man with salt-and-pepper hair cropped short, wearing a sarong and an embroidered island shirt, his outfit completed with bare feet.

    “Miss Beauchamp!” he exclaimed.  “I mean, Mrs. Fraser.”  His smile was warm, and he urged me into the large open room lit by electric lights.  It was a simple building, but in comparison to most of the dwellings on Arno it was lavish.

    “Thank you, Iroi… Sir… Your honor?”

    “Call me Mayor Timisen,” he urged at my apparent discomfort.  He had gestured for me to sit in one of the chairs in the main room, and he leaned forward once we were both seated, urging me to speak.

    I was grateful he spoke such fluent English as I explained to him what seemed to be ailing Perkaj. Although it wasn’t going to cause an instant death, high blood sugar meant that glucose wasn’t getting into the body’s cells, and organ failure was a possible consequence of elevated blood sugar left too long without treatment.

    “Perkaj needs to go to the hospital,” I said.  “Can we use the satellite phone to contact them and ask what we should do?”

    He nodded slowly, then got up and went to his desk, coming back with the chunky black satellite phone. I eyed it with mixed emotions as I watched him dial a number and then hold the phone to his ear.  Just seeing the phone brought back a flurry of remembered events that had led to my first satellite call out here—

    That dark night after my trip to Matolen with Sharbella, I had ridden with Jamie on his bike back to the clinic… later, lying next to him under our makeshift mosquito-net tent—after he'd said it would be inappropriate to hang out in my apartment after dark —we had been looking up at the stars and talking when I’d accidentally called him Frank…

    I remembered the sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach when Jamie pulled away from me, and the deepening discomfort a few days later when Angus confronted me about my behavior towards Jamie, when he told me the engagement ring on my finger was about the only part of me that was engaged…

    My heart sank at the memory of the night I took care of baby Maxson when he  was sicker than I could deal with in my primitive clinic, waking the next morning to find that the infant was dead.

    I remembered the pain of Jamie discovering me on the beach and trying to comfort me, only having to force him away.  I could picture him seated on a mat with Rupert and Angus across the gravel-strewn yard at Maxson’s funeral, and I remembered trying to convince Anni and myself that I truly didn’t want him.

    I chuckled as I recalled Anni and that crazy midnight run to the fishing dock on the ocean side to see the miracle of the full moon.  But that joy was followed by Frank’s letter—familiar handwriting crushing my soul as he told me he didn’t want to wait for me, that he was breaking up with me.

    That pain had been followed by the comfort of Jamie’s arms, by tender murmured reassurances and his touch when I went to him in the darkness, desperately needing to not be alone.  And later, I had slept in his bed with him, curling in the hollow of his form, reassured by his even breathing, his warmth, and the solid substance of his body behind me.

    The comfort of Jamie's kindness was replaced by Angus’s disappointed, bitter voice the next morning, accusing me of sleeping with—not just ‘sleeping with’—Jamie, telling me that since I wouldn’t stay away from the young man on my own, he was going to have to take more drastic measures.

    And then I could vividly picture the Iroij standing outside my door, handing me a black phone and telling me the person on the other end was Mr. MacKenzie— that I was being summoned to UniServe headquarters.

    Now I looked at the white gold circle on my right hand for a moment and then back at that boxy black phone held by the Iroij and found myself shaking my head, gratefully astonished at how that story had ended; hoping that this sequence of events would have a similarly positive end.

    Mr. Timisen held the phone out to me then, lifting me out of my deep deja vu.  After taking a breath, I quickly explained the situation to the emergency room physician on the other end of the line.

    “We could try to catch the Jolok boat tomorrow,” I said.  “I have some insulin.  I could administer it and try to monitor his blood sugar, but I’m concerned that if I gave him too much, he could die.  And he has a high temperature and is almost unresponsive—he can’t stay at this blood sugar level without doing drastic damage to his organs.”

    There was static on the line and I wondered if the connection had been severed, but then the doctor’s calming voice came back on.

    “We can’t do much until you get the patient here, unfortunately,” the physician said. “Administer insulin and monitor his blood sugar. Perhaps the Iroij could charter a private flight so you could get here sooner.”

    The conversation was loud enough that the Iroij heard the request.  He nodded to me reassuringly, reaching for the phone and bidding the physician farewell, then dialing another number and having a brief conversation in Majel.  I assumed he was calling the Majuro airport.

    “The plane could meet you at the landing strip beyond Jabo.  Are you able to transport the patient there by truck?”

    I nodded, then told the physician that we could get him to the landing strip within an hour and a half.  Mayor Timisen smiled reassuringly at me, going into the hallway and calling out into one of the other rooms.  In a few moments, a young man entered.  At Mr. Timisen’s terse command, he quickly trotted away, I assumed to go locate the island truck.

    “Can you travel with him?” the physician asked me over the phone.  “The plane has room for the patient and a parent, but a doctor or nurse should go along as well.”

    “Don’t you send a nurse or EMT out on the plane?” I asked.

    “Not unless it’s a heart attack or severe injury.  We’re understaffed as it is,” he responded.

    With a few last directions, the doctor and I hung up, and Mr. Timisen assured me that they would bring the truck to the clinic to pick me up and then take my patient to the air strip on the way towards Arno Arno.

    As anxious as I was feeling, I was actually grateful to run the rest of the way home. I felt calmer knowing that I would soon be getting Perkaj to a hospital where he would have the round-the-clock monitoring I was incapable of providing on my own.  

    After unlocking the clinic, with shaking hands I removed the vials of insulin from the medication locker.  Making sure I had syringes and a few glucose packets to counteract the effects of accidentally giving Perkaj too much insulin, I locked up the clinic and entered the apartment.

    What was I supposed to take with me?  I hadn’t yet packed my big suitcase for Guam, so I threw a few dresses, bras, and pairs of panties in a backpack, along with my conditioner and skincare bag. Then I pulled my larger suitcase from under the bed and loaded it as quickly as I could, though I couldn’t tell if I had what I needed for our trip.  I’d been planning on a leisurely evening of packing once I had been done for the day at the clinic. An evening of packing, followed by some more quality time with my husband…

    My heart sunk at that thought.  My memories of those days of sadness without Jamie had made me long to be close to him again.  As I remembered that night when Frank broke up with me, I could almost sense Jamie’s warm comfort next to me in his bed.  And today, helplessly looking at Perkaj lying limp and unresponsive on the mat on the floor had brought back those feelings of powerlessness I had felt with baby Maxson.  I could feel my need for Jamie in the pit of my stomach, but I steeled myself. This was a time I was going to be strong without him.

    But I couldn’t just leave without telling Jamie where I was going.  I went out to the side yard where I discovered him and John working, the two men standing in remarkably similar positions with arms crossed, heads cocked to one side, looking in puzzlement at the structure in front of them.  It looked a little like a terrarium or sunroom, with a slanting glass roof on top of an enclosed wooden box. As I watched, they each moved a few steps to the right, resuming the same quizzical posture when they stopped. I chuckled at their incidental resemblance, the tall, broad-shouldered, auburn-haired Scot and his slighter, dark-haired Marshallese friend.

    “Claire, come see,” Jamie said, ushering me over and pulling me under his arm.  “We put an inch or so of well water into the reservoir there,” he explained, drawing me toward the structure and pointing at the shallow pan that stretched the entire length and width of the base of the still.  “The water soaks up into the black cloth draped over those blocks, which heat in the sun and then the water evaporates from the fabric, traveling upward as the heat rises.”

    “But the sloping glass ceiling traps the moisture inside the still,” John continued as he came close on my other side, “and as the air outside is cooler, it condenses on the inside of the glass.”

    “We’re trying to figure out the right angle for the glass,” Jamie said, “so that the water doesn’t drip back into the pan but instead dribbles down the glass and finally into this channel,”—here he pointed at a sloping half-pipe near the lowest part of the glass, cupped upward underneath a line of something that looked like clear caulk, where the droplets of water that had snaked their way down the glass-collecting surface were stopped from sliding further, growing into larger and larger reservoirs until their weight overpowered the surface tension and gravity forced them to fall.  I could see a thin stream of water in the bottom of the pipe, slowly flowing toward the place where the pipe exited the still and entered flexible tubing threaded into the top of a large water jug on the ground.

    “It looks great babe,” I said, finally grabbing Jamie’s arm to stop him.  “But I don’t have time right now.  I have to take a plane to the Majuro hospital,” I said quickly, before he could speak.

    “What?” he exclaimed with an involuntary squeeze closer to him, looking me up and down as if I were the one injured.  “Have ye been hurt?”

    “No, it’s Perkaj,” I said.  “You’ve mentioned how Rupert said he’s been losing weight the last few months and hasn’t had much energy at school.  Well, there’s a reason for it.  I’m almost positive he’s diabetic!”

    From the look on his face, I could see it hadn’t completely sunk in yet, but when the truck pulled up in front of the house at that very moment, Jamie questioned me again.  “Truly?  You are leaving now?  You are going to Majuro? Today?”

    I nodded quickly, slinging the strap of my backpack over one shoulder. “I started packing my suitcase for Christmas, but I’m sure I’ve forgotten something.  Can you finish packing for me?

    Jamie had his hand around my upper arm, a grip that expressed what he couldn’t seem to be able to say.  His forehead was wrinkled, his face clearly communicating that he objected to my departure.

    “I’ve gotta go, babe,” I said, beginning to move toward the truck. “I’ll see you tomorrow evening when you get to Majuro on the fish boat?”

    Jamie still looked bewildered, but a sudden certainty flooded over his face and he took two quick steps to me and crushed me in his arms.

    “Be safe,” he murmured into my hair. “I canna believe I’m losing ye again so soon.”

    Gently pushing me out to arm’s length, he met my eyes.  “I love ye, hen,” he said, stooping to firmly kiss me on the lips once more before urging me toward the waiting vehicle.  John and Jamie followed me as I went to the truck, and Jamie offered a hand as I climbed up into the bed of the pickup.

    “I love you too,” I mouthed, blowing him a kiss as the truck drove off nearly before I’d settled myself on the truck bed.  He watched, waving until I couldn’t see him anymore.

    Once at Perkaj’s house, I waded through the crowd of concerned well-wishers, thankful for Mayor Timisen’s ability to translate and explain to Perkaj’s family what we were doing.  The biggest challenge was determining which family member should travel along with the boy.  Perkaj’s mother was eliminated as a good option because the boy had several younger siblings, one of which was a nursing infant.  I couldn’t follow the entire conversation, but Mr. Timisen also explained to me that Perkaj’s father was out fishing and wouldn’t be back until dark.  After some rapid fire conversations in Marshallese, it was determined that his auntie Maria—a lovely girl of around twenty—would come along with Perkaj so he had family to watch over him.

    As the family had debated who would travel with Perkaj, I had re-tested his blood sugar.  Finding it still over six hundred, I gave him eight units of fast-acting insulin, hoping that each unit would drop his blood sugar by about 50.  I knew the ride to the air strip would take a half hour or so, and expected the helicopter ride to Majuro to be about the same.  I would continue to monitor Perkaj’s blood sugar level as we traveled, but I could feel my agitation easing at the promise of a more updated facility and an ICU where my young patient’s progress could be closely monitored.

    The process of transferring Perkaj to the truck was accomplished by a group of four young men who gripped the corners of the woven pandanus mat on which Perkaj had been sleeping, and using it like a stretcher, carried him out to the truck and unceremoniously slid the mat into the bed of the truck. I had grabbed a blanket from my house so we could cover him and then his auntie and I sat on either side of him to keep him from rolling as the truck drove down the bumpy island road.

    When we reached the air strip, I got out of my cramped sitting position.  I tested Perkaj’s blood sugar again and was pleased to see that it had dropped, but not with such rapidity that I would have to worry about his sugar level getting dangerously low..  

    I’d traveled over the air strip several times since my arrival on the island.  Each time we’d gone on the Jolok boat, the time I’d heading out on the Field Ship trip, and then returning back home again all necessitated driving through that narrow stretch of the island.  But this time it wasn’t as green as I remembered from my first arrival on the island.  The grass on either side of the wide-open swath of land was yellowed, a sign of the continuing drought.

    Maria smiled at me as I stretched and bent over to touch my toes, preparing for another half hour or more of sitting in a cramped position before arriving in Majuro.  She was patting Perkaj’s hand gently, her forehead wrinkling as she looked at his expressionless face.

    “He will be okay?” she asked.   “Ejjab mej?”

    “Ejab malele,” I said sadly, shaking my head.  “I really don’t know if he will die.  But I hope not.”  I tried to smile for her.

    By the time we had been loaded onto the plane with Perkaj strapped onto a gurney that was then locked into place, he was moaning.  Though it sounded worse, and though his face wrinkled more furiously when I again pricked another finger to test his blood sugar, I was relieved to see the gradual signs of a return to consciousness.  

    Before we landed at the Majuro airport, Perkaj’s blood sugar had dropped to 420, which although still horrible, was a significant improvement.

    There was an ambulance waiting for us on the runway. As we rode the twenty minutes to the hospital, I briefed the EMT on Perkaj’s symptoms.  He tested Perkaj’s blood sugar again and I was glad to see it had dropped yet a few more points.

    By midnight I was beyond tired.  I had sat, holding Perkaj and Maria’s hands, trying to understand the Marshallese explanations given by the medical professionals, trying to reassure the young Marshallese girl that her nephew was going to recover.  I was weary but grateful that Perkaj’s blood sugar was at a reasonable level.

    “Lass, why dinna you come to our house for the night,” said a familiar voice.

    “Mr. MacKenzie?” I asked.  This time Dougal seemed completely unsurprised when I stood and hugged him.  In fact, he even patted my back gently before releasing me and picking up my backpack. Speaking briefly to Maria, he took me by the hand and led me from the hospital.

    I was so exhausted I refused the offers of food made by Moneo.  I simply slipped off my sandals, lay down on the couch in the living room, pulled a light blanket over myself and fell asleep.

    Something about being on Dougal’s couch brought back such intense memories that all night I dreamed of cuddling next to Jamie the night after we got engaged.  One dream-memory was so vivid that it startled me awake.

    In the middle of that night after our sudden decision to get married I had found myself tossing and turning on the mat on the floor in Revka’s room. You’re an impulsive idiot, my brain told me. This is a rebound.  You don’t really want to marry Jamie—you just didn't want to lose him as a friend.

    I had gotten up as quietly as possible and slipped through Revka’s door, standing in the darkened living room trying to let my eyes get used to the darkness.

    “What’re ye doin’?” a deep voice murmured from the couch.

    “You’re awake?” I asked, moving a few steps forward.

    “Canna sleep,” he responded.  I could see a faint movement as he scooted over on the couch, and I tiptoed to him, finding his hand reaching out to me to guide me around the coffee table.

    “Here,” he said, drawing me down to lie on the edge of the couch in front of him and covering me with the blanket. “Though I dinna ken whether having ye next to me is going to make sleep come any more readily.”

    “I’m not out here to make out with you,” I said bluntly. “I’m just… having second thoughts.”

    “Ye dinna have to marry me,” he said without hesitation, though his muscles had tensed at my words. “Dinna feel guilty if you’ve thought better of it and have changed your mind.”

    “Are you having second thoughts as well?” I asked him.

    He hesitated.  “No,” he said calmly.  I could feel him shaking his head behind me.

    I scoffed in disbelief.  “Why not?” I asked.

    He sighed, and I could feel his chest expand against my back. “Do you believe in providence?” Jamie asked slowly.

    “Providence—like a good coincidence?” I asked.

    “Not exactly… Providence—as in, an act of God.  Something that canna be explained away with logic.”

    “Maybe,” I responded.  “I’m not sure.”

    “In the month before you came to Arno,” he said, his voice a husky rumble in my ear, “I found a letter from my ma.  She had tucked it inside the Holy Bible she gave me on my first confirmation.”

    “What did it say?” I asked, curious.  I knew his mother had passed away when he was a teenager, so I knew her words would matter to him.

    “She told me that while I should have in mind the things I wanted in a wife, that I might be surprised at what God provided. But she also told me that she had prayed for the partner of my future, and that I should do the same.”

    “And did you?” I asked in surprise, turning my face to look at him over my shoulder.

    “I did,” he said simply.

    “You started praying for your wife a month before I came to Arno,” I repeated, stunned.

    “Aye,” he said. “Every day.” I could see the smile on his face despite it being dark in the living room.

    “So I appeared, and you saw an answer to your prayers?” I asked, amusement edging into my voice.

    “No, actually.  I thought he would choose a local girl for me,” Jamie explained.  “When you arrived, I mostly saw a kind nurse who was clueless about island mores and desperately needed a friend.” At that, he leaned in and kissed me on the tip of my nose.

    I pushed him away in mock disgust. “You pitied me?"

    “Ye didna need to be pitied?” he asked, pulling me closer.

    “Well, I was clueless,” I agreed, settling into his arms again, only slightly perturbed at him.

    “And engaged,” Jamie added.

    “That too,” I said. I felt a sudden ache in the pit of my stomach. “Unavailable, as far as you were concerned.”

    “Well…” Jamie continued, “As for that, I wasna exactly convinced.”

    I remembered the way he had asked me about Frank on the ocean side dock the day we did laundry together… And how I couldn't answer him, how I couldn't bring myself to say that I loved my fiance.

    Jamie caressed my arm, running his fingers lightly from elbow to shoulder to neck.  When he brushed my hair aside and leaned forward to press his lips beneath my ear, I shivered.

    “Dinna fash,” he said.

    “What does that mean?” I had asked, turning to him again.

    “Don’t worry yourself,” he answered.  “Trust.”

    “Trust?” I had asked.

    “Providence doesna always make sense, but I believe this has all worked out as it should. And it will continue to work out because He is in it.”    

    With that reassurance again running through my mind, a ghost of his kiss on my neck, I wrapped myself in my blanket and slept the rest of the night.

Next chapter is officially  Chapter 18: Hopping to Guam Jamie loves plane trips about as much as he loves boat trips.

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 39 - watching notes

How did this show manage to make me care for these characters in about one episode???

Xue Yang is 100 kinds of creepy

How does he disappear like that? That's a power we haven't seen on this show yet

This whole revenge plot is waaay too convoluted to be only about revenge

Ohoh ... this silence is too ominous

I love how A-Qing still has her rebellious streak, even in death

This is too easy ... he won't die just like this, right?

Holy shit his arm!! 😱😱😱

Um ... sorry but, it's really obvious that the actor just has his arm tugged under his clothes 😅

Whaaaaaaaat???

He's not the guy under the mask???

Who???

Who is that and why does he want the stygian tiger amulet???

I was so sure that that was him

Lan and Jin sword style? I'm wreaking my brain right now who has a strong connection to both, but I'm coming up empty

Oh no, a qing :'(

This is such a brilliant shot! Goosebumps! All over!

And wow

All the awards for song lan's actor 😥

I am ... fascinated by Xue Yang's backstory. Like ... the guy is a goddamn sociopath

With the parallels of his backstory to wwx it's almost like he's wwx without his good heart 😥

So ... all of this is a direct consequence of what happened when they met them in the flashback?

But this isn't how "human affairs" should go or even normally do! Obviously, xue Yang isn't a reliable narrator at all, but all I want to do is wrap Xiao Xingchen in my arms and tell him that not all his good faith in humanity was misplaced 💔

"Stupid, naive, dumb idiots like you, who think the world is a better place just because they did something good!"

But it is!!!! The world on it's own, without humans, isn't inherently good or evil! It is what it is. Good or evil, that's up to us! In the face of the endless indifference of the universe, every act of kindness tips the scale towards a better world!

(Sorry, my atheism is showing)

And that's why I will always have infinitely more respect for the Xiao Xingchens of the world than the cruel and bitter Xue Yangs.

Oh fuck no

No, this will break him, won't it? 😰

Oh no 😭😭😭😭

Oh no

Honey...

"Say something..."

Oh god

Does this show want to set some kind of record for must characters severely traumatised in 50 episodes???

Noooo

No

Fuck

When I wrote that I hadn't seen yet ...

He ... killed himself

I am crying so hard right now and I feel like I haven't even really processed the full tragedy of this arc yet

What is Xue Yang doing?

This is so weird. He honestly looks at Xiao Xingchen like he is a doting husband waiting for him to come home

Ohhh

And now it makes sense that he wanted wwx to restore his soul

And why his soul didn't want to be restored ... because he killed himself. He doesn't want to come back 😥

The way this looks ... that can't be an accident

So NOW he's grieving. Because he can't bring Xiao Xingchen back, can't control him. Xue Yang has such a screwed psychy, it's fascinating ... in a very disturbing way

Wow, he's damaged ...

Oh no ... the candy ... THE CANDY!!!

Holy shit ... what even am I supposed to feel right now? 😨😨😨

Trying to parse that out, I feel like (and this is just my first impressionof thus and my very raw thoughts)... Xiao Xingchen and his kindness they did touch Xue Yang. But he was ill-equipped to deal with whatever feelings they stirred in him, because he had already been so twisted by the world and his own actions. And so he expressed his love the same way he expressed everything: with obsession and the desire to posses and control.

Honestly, I need some more time to really process this ...

They buried A Qing 😭

Oh, Lan Jingyi. I didn't know you had it in you 💚💚💚

Oh god, the Juniors are ALL so soft! 😭

Oh god I want to know so badly. What did Lan Wangji want to say??? "Fortunately... this wasn't us" "Fortunately... you came back to me"? 😭

Omg ... this is a parallel right? From behind they might as well be song lan and Xiao Xingchen!

Oh song lan 💔

The way he takes the pouch 🥺

And Lan Wangji's look. Maybe I'm imagining too much into this but ... if that's not a man intimately aware of what he's going through

"Roam the world. Exorcise evil beings alongside Xingchen."

I can't guys, I'm crying so hard right now 💔💔💔

Holy shit Lan Wangji's actor's performance as he hands him the sword 😭😭😭

IT IS A PARALLEL! 😭😭

look at the screenshot up there again!!

I'm ugly crying so hard right now 😭😭😭

Gimme a moment ...

Tge music in the next scene is really unusual for this show, almost jarring after I've just bawled my eyes out

What is that?

An entrance?

Okay no, not an entrance

Who is that????

Aardgfdgh

The Juniors!!!

The scenery us so pretty :)

Waitwaitwait ... I have a suspicion... no ... nooooo? It can't be ...

The butterfly toy ...

And the comments in the last episode fit, too ... 😳😳😳

OH MY GOOOOOOOD!!!!

The shot of the little flying thing! That's in that restaurant, right??

The comment about remembering stuff from when you're three!

IS HE A YUAN????

@sweetlittlevampire IS HE A YUAN??? 😱😱😱

I'm crying again you guys

Of course he is! It all makes sense

And omg, lan Wangji with the bunny lantern 😭😭😭

And now wwx remembers A Yuan and... the LOOK!!! The song!!! The bunnies!!!

The smile 😭😭😭😭

"Let's buy it" "Okay"

They're a family, you guys!!!! They're a family and I'm ... so ... so emotional!!! 😭😭😭

So much softness between them!!! 💙🖤💙🖤

And wwx smiles as brightly as before this whole mess and ...

Holy shit this episode you guys!!!

First I cry out of sheer devastation and now I feel like my heart is ready to burst!

And it FITS!!!

wangxian got the happy ending Xiao Xingchen and song lan never did. They reunited and even though they spent many years apart they have a real chance now!!!

And this, their child, this is the pay off.

I'm listening to the new album by Nightwish (my favourite band) all the time right now and in their song "How's the heart?" Is this line "now there's one who came from me / A child of light, another tale" and I can't help but think of that right now! The whole song is about how it is worth it, going through the bleak times, fighting through your own darkness because there is light and love at the end of it. It's worth it to keep fighting, just so we can keep meeting others with love. And I can't help but think of little A Yuan/ Lan Sizuhi (and god, I'm almost bursting at the fact that I can write that line!!) As their manifestation of that love. Their "child of light" :')

And even with Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan ... there is this slight hopeful feeling of "we will meet again", if not in this life than in the next ...

Guys, I'm so emotional right now

Sorry for the tengant. It probably doesnt make much sense put in writing 💚

I'm so sad and so happy at the same time ... :')

Oh god, lan Wangji with the lantern is so unimaginably cute!!!

And they gave it to Lan Sizhui!!!

SYMBOLISM!! 😭😭😭

Now, this should be interesting

How much does lan Xichen even know at this point?

Ohhh! That was nie Mingjue in the coffin earlier!

Why is he buried in Yi City???

I'm so confused right now!

(But don't tell me the answers. As always, these are rhetorical questions ;))

Ohhh ...

I have a suspicion about the ghost faced man

And apparently I'm not the only one

He has been "discussing" things with you every single night. Aha 😏

Sorry, this is serious 😬

(This has nothing to do with anything but I paused the stream to type and this was the image I got. I thought i should share :D)

Lan Xichen is so deep in denial

Poor guy

And again with the parallels! There is another Lan who has stuck to someone with a bad reputation and he's standing right there

And jin ling is conveniently reminding us of that 😐

So much drama

OMG!

That was smooth!

No, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

Just, "Wei-gongze" :D

"Don't take it to heart"

MY HEART!!!

I feel like Lan Wangji isn't the only Lan who will suffer an aneurysm from repressed emotions one day

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose and @sxnshot (should I tag you again next ep? No hard feelings if not 😊)

Honestly, this ep was the most emotional one for me so far in terms of the whiplash from pain and joy it gave me, though I certainly cried harder at the Yunmeng massacre. The prevailing emotion is joy now, though. I am such a sucker for mismatched, found families and wangxian and their child of light isn't exactly that, I don't know what is. I'm going to sleep with a smile on my face now. 💚

[hydra-collector]

Whole: Chapter One

AO3

Fic Page (all chapters listed here)

Second Fic in the Series

Chapters Finished: 6/6

Ship: Intrulogical

Characters: Logan Sanders, Remus Sanders, Patton Sanders, Virgil Sanders (minor)

TW: self-harm, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, food, sex mention

Words: 3,630

Summary: 

Logan can't feel.

Because every time he does, someone gets hurt. His emotions have no place in the world. He vows to squash them down until finally, maybe they'll be gone. But it's not a good idea to suppress such an important part of yourself, to tear your sadness, happiness, anger, until you're left dry and empty.

And Logan doesn't understand that until he meets someone. Someone very, very special.

Note: I actually have this finished, it will be updating daily. I’m likely going to write some extra works, later in Remus and Logan’s lives.

Why are you yelling? Stop yelling, stop.

Logan didn’t know what else to do. He had to tell them why this was happening, they were wrong, he couldn’t control this. It was awful, this awful feeling that made him completely unable to focus while incredibly worried about how he wasn’t focusing. He was just trying to tell them why.

 But he didn’t have to yell.

He had no reason to be angry at them. They did nothing wrong. But he couldn’t help it. He wanted to scream and cry and hug his mom. He wanted her to understand what this was like. The fuzzy mold that dug into his brain and gave him fears that he didn’t want. The bricks that crawled into his chest and weighed him down and he couldn’t get up. But she didn’t understand them and he couldn’t explain, so he yelled.

 He hated yelling. It hurt, it scratched, he knew it was bad and he should stop, but he couldn’t. He needed to cry and he did cry, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted to destroy something, he was angry, he wanted to punch someone.

 He couldn’t.

 He was nine, he shouldn’t be doing this to his mother. She was good and kind, and all he did was hurt her. He was awful to her, and she tried to help, but he couldn’t stop from getting annoyed, or angry, or sad. He couldn’t help but wail when the bricks got too heavy, he wanted them to be lighter. He had to move, had to hit something when the fears wouldn’t go away. He was scared his mother hated him, that she would abandon him with his brother. It didn’t make any sense, but he knew what he was doing to her and he didn’t stop. He was too much work for her.

 Two years later, he was the same. Still loud, still full of emotions. His throat hurt all the time, his mother kept getting fed up (she’d tried to take him to a therapist and that didn’t work), his brother Patton was scared for his health, and his dog wouldn’t let him anywhere near her. He’d developed ways to stop bothering them, though. Hold his hand to his mouth and bury his head in the pillow until the frustration went away. Bite his arm so he couldn’t keep screaming. Hit his head again and again and again until he couldn’t be angry anymore. It hurt. It was calming.

 He’d managed to become a bit less of a nuisance, at least. He’d tried to stop explaining the bricks and the mold and just let them be. They always fade after a while to something manageable. His tears were his own now. His emotions were his, and no one else needed them.

 He tried to be happier for his mom. He spent more time with Patton, trying to make him happy. Patton was concerned for him, and he appreciated that, but he knew asking for help would only make them suffer, and they weren’t allowed to suffer. Only he could suffer.

 He vowed to become a robot someday. Where he didn’t want to scream or hurt people. Someday it would be gone, everything would be okay. Maybe he’d have a wife and kids that he didn’t hurt like the people he loved now. They would love him and he would deserve it.

 Another two years and it had a name.

 Depression. Anxiety. Mental illness. They told him what he was and he hated himself even more. He was a thirteen year old being told that he’d been sick since he was a child. He was given ways to cope. He’d never tried to bleed.

 He did the day he learned he could.

 It was freeing. Hitting and biting was hard, but slicing his skin was so easy and so pretty. The blood that rose from within told him that he was a person, and an awful one. If anyone ever saw, it would be the end of this.

 He didn’t yell anymore. Most of the time he was absolutely silent. Yes, he participated in class so he didn’t get a bad grade, but only the bare minimum. He never raised his voice, never allowed himself to laugh too loud. His brother was scared for him, but he didn’t know the half of it. He had few friends, only one other anxious teen named Virgil. He felt more comfortable talking about fear and self-hate, but only in a joking way. He had to close himself off from everyone. He couldn’t hurt anyone.

 His mother had, again, tried to get him to go to therapy. She said it would help his anxiety. God, she didn’t even know. He stopped cutting his arms pretty early on, since his mother got concerned that he always wore long sleeves. His legs got all the more blood on them.

 How could he have this with people who care? How could he hate himself this much when nothing had ever happened to him? Why had this ever happened?

 He didn’t know.

 Fifteen was his worst year yet.

 He’d made so many friends this year, yet it all got worse. He felt like he couldn’t breathe most days, like every day he was dying. He wanted that, he wanted this feeling gone. How could he heal after eight god damn years?

 It was a warm October morning today. The sun shone on his back, glittering across the autumn leaves. The normally boring school looked orange and majestic. Students laughed and chatted as he passed by.

 It had been a bad month. He was sure that he’d only been happy for a couple hours in the past thirty days. He didn’t understand why he hadn’t killed himself yet.

 Patton was talking to him about something, probably about another cute kid. Ever since he’d come out as pan, he’d endlessly talked about the people he found attractive. It was exhausting for Logan to hear his brother point out girls he might like. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to come out.

 He wanted to date. It might be nice to have someone to kiss and cuddle, to offer comfort when the days got bad. To have more comfort than cold, sharp blades. He couldn’t do that, though. He’d hurt enough people already.

 Still, he couldn’t help but fantasize about some guy that would share his interest in science, talk to him about space and chemistry and biology. He wasn’t good enough for someone like that. Someone that would never date him.

 He waved to Roman and Virgil as they passed. They were probably scheming some new way to get out of doing classwork. Logan sped up, realizing it was nearly time for him to organize Ms. Kachinsky’s books. He had to finish before she left her room in the morning to teach. There was supposed to be another kid, too, so he couldn’t be late.

 “Hey, Lo, where’re you going?”

 “Kachinsky, remember?”

 “Ohhh, yeah.”

 The building was cold inside. He headed into his teacher’s room, decorated blandly with supposedly motivational posters. He’d volunteered to do this job, no one else was going to organize encyclopedias for a 70-year-old woman. He didn’t know why she even had so many.

 As he walked into the half-renovated closet, he was presented with many emotions.

 One, this man was munching on a sheet of paper.

 Two, he was not adhering to the dress code.

 Three, Logan was glad he wasn’t because a crop top and booty shorts looked damn good on him.

 “Um. Hello.”

 The teenager looked up, paper in hand. He stood up and tossed it in the trash, swallowing. Logan pointed slightly to the trash can.

 “You were eating a piece of paper.”

 “Yeah?”

 “That doesn’t seem like it should be healthy.”

 “I looked it up, it’s pretty much fine. Are you here to start on the books?”

 Logan nodded and the two of them got to work in silence. The boy was pretty, he had a slight mustache that doesn’t work for many people, but it did for him. He looked a little like Roman, but with a broader build and stronger jaw. He was exactly the type of person that Logan would have designed as the most attractive, in his opinion, if he would have ever designed an attractive man.

 “How’d you get roped into this?”

 The boy turned his brown eyes to look at Logan expectantly, who wasn’t expecting any kind of interaction with him.

 “I volunteered.”

 “Oh, teacher’s pet?”

 “She’s 70. No one else was going to help.”

 “Fair. This is my substitute for detention ‘cause I have to work after school. I’m Remus.”

 He stuck out his hand, which Logan took.

 “Logan.”

 “Oh, really? I was kinda looking into that name. One of my friends stole it, though.”

 A look of confusion crossed over Logan’s face, but it disappeared as Remus held out the trans pin on his jacket. He noticed now how many pins there really were. There was the trans one, he/him, a weed symbol (however he got away with that), a skull one, an atom one, a chemistry tube, a gay flag, and various other little ones. They offered quite a bit of insight onto his personality, which seemed more and more attractive as their interaction went on.

 Remus kept talking to him, which he didn’t quite understand. He didn’t have much of a personality, and what he did have, he didn’t really show. Most of his personality was just extreme emotions. He didn’t show those, either.

 They did get to talking, though. Remus somehow pried out Logan’s interest in science and his plans for the future. They talked about how they’d do anything in STEM if they could. They talked about how annoying humanities majors were, and how annoying they were to humanities majors.

 They finished the books, and Remus’s conversational skills got Logan to stay a tiny bit longer. Too much longer.

 Before they even knew, there was a click at the door. The closet was big, so it wasn’t like they were right next to the door.

 “What was that?”

 Logan headed cautiously to the door and turned the knob. It wouldn’t budge.

 “We’re locked in.”

 Remus whispered “shit” under his breath before running to the door and banging loudly. The sound was fast and loud. They were locked in, they wouldn’t make it to class, they’d get in trouble, he’d be awful all over again-

 He couldn’t breathe. He was a failure all over again. He needed to get to class, his nails dug into his skin, his razor could help now, but he was shaking now and everything was wrong and this was supposed to be a simple morning thing and he shouldn’t have stayed and he shouldn’t have liked Remus and he shouldn’t feel anything, not anger, not fear, not sadness, not love-

 “Hey, hey, are you okay? Is there anything I can do?”

 This is the first time you meet him and he’ll already know you’re fucked up.

 Logan dodged away from him, tripping over a chair and falling on the floor. He could barely control his movements, his arms and hands wouldn’t listen to him, and he was already seeing this, he was never going to get a boyfriend or make another friend and he was dumb for thinking that. He grasped his upper arms with his hands, digging his nails into them, hoping it would help enough to stay fucking still.

 “Logan, can you take my hands? If you don’t want to, that’s fine, I know we don’t know each other, I just wanna help.”

 Logan tentatively reached out his hand, well aware of the indents on his arm. Remus’s hand was warm and strong, so he reached out his other hand as well. He rocked slightly, trying to steady his breathing.

 “If you’re worried about getting in trouble, they can’t exactly blame us for getting trapped in a closet. It’s only one day, I’m sure it won’t hurt to miss a class or two. You can make up work and you can talk to your teachers if you’re concerned about missing important stuff.”

 “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks. I’m sorry for wasting your time with that.”

 “Don’t be. It’s okay.”

 Logan leaned against the wall now, holding his knees. Remus slid down beside him.

 Why do you feel comfortable with him?

 Even from their distance, Logan could feel his presence there.

 You just met him.

 “Whaddya wanna do?”

 “...I think I have travel checkers.”

 “...Sure.”

 Logan searched through his bag, pulling out a tiny box and opened it. The little magnetic pieces had to be pried off of the board and rearranged. They played probably over ten times before the game couldn’t sustain their attention any longer. Logan started trying to stack them, knowing it wouldn’t work, but hey, he was bored. Remus took the ones Logan wasn’t using to form the shape of male genitals.

 “Hey, could I borrow some of yours?”

 Logan wasn’t getting anywhere anyway. He pushed his pieces over to Remus and leaned back on the wall. He checked his watch. It was already an hour past the time they were supposed to be in class, and no one had come by yet. They probably weren’t going to until Ms. Kachinsky came back to get her lunch. Since her room was being renovated, she was teaching health either in other classrooms or outside if they got desperate.

 Remus looked rather proud of himself when he finished his creation. 

 “So we’re stuck in here for another few hours, with nothing to occupy us but encyclopedias, whatever we have in our bags, and each other.”

 “The things you could do to someone in here… With someone. That’s not better.”

 “Who cares what anything implies at this point?”

 Remus joined Logan against the wall, staring blankly with him. 

 “You got your phone?”

 “Didn’t think I’d need it. How about you?”

 “Broken. Like it usually is. At least I have a job. And a brother.”

 Remus paused for a moment before speaking again.

 “I suppose we’re kinda obligated to become friends. After spending so much time alone in a closet.”

 “We could play a game. You do that with friends, right?”

 “Never have I ever been stuck in a closet before.”

 Logan held up his fingers and put one down.

 “If we’re talking metaphorical closets, yeah.”

 He took a moment to realize what he’d just said. He’d half-outed himself to a practical stranger. He hadn’t come out to anyone yet.

 “Oh, I guess I told a lie then.”

 Remus put one of his own fingers down.

 “...I’ve literally never come out before. You’re the first person and I barely know you. Heh, maybe I should actually tell my brother so he starts pointing out cute guys instead of girls.”

 “I’m honored. Your turn.”

 “Oh, yeah. I guess I’ll go for the boring one. Never have I ever been in a relationship. Not surprised, though.”

 “Can I be excused ‘cause it was a girl?”

 “Fair. You go.”

 “Mm… Never have I ever had a dog.”

 “Really? You seem like a dog person.”

 Logan put his second finger down, shifting slightly.

 “Nah. My dad’s allergic. I keep trying to sneak one in anyway, but my brother always catches me. Didn’t think it’d be that hard to get him on board. He loves dogs. Side effect of being the perfect child, I guess. You don’t let yourself do what you want. My parents are good parents, they just… trust him a bit more.”

 “It’s not so bad to be independent. No trans kid with transphobic parents ever chopped off their hair, or binded for the first time, or wore a wig or a dress with their parents’ permission.”

 “No one ever found their passion from someone who tried to choose their path.”

 “Very insightful.”

 “Thank you. Anyway, it’s your turn.”

 “Never have I ever worn a crop top.”

 “Hey, that’s cheating. You should, though, you’d look good.”

 “Would I?” Logan’s cheeks dusted slightly pink.

 “Would it be weird to offer you to try mine on?”

 “Probably, but I don’t think either of us are very normal. Plus, you develop a certain kind of relationship with someone you’re locked in the closet with.”

 Logan’s small blush only darkened as they turned away from each other and he heard fabric moving about. Remus tossed the shirt over his shoulder, and probably blushed as Logan took his own shirt off.

 Remus had buttoned his jacket to cover his chest. It didn’t completely cover it, but it didn’t matter to him all that much (Logan, however, turned red when he saw it). The shirt fit reasonably well, a little loose but it looked good nonetheless. Logan was hesitant, but Remus might have thought it looked very good according to the color of his cheeks.

 “Didn’t think you could get much hotter. I was very wrong.”

 Well that confirmed it.

 Logan didn’t usually get flustered so much that other people could tell, but this had triggered the darkest shade of pink to cross his cheeks. Remus giggled at that, which only made them darker.

 “Hah, made you blush.”

 “Was that your only intention?”

 “Oh no, don’t get me wrong, I meant it.”

 “We barely even know each other.”

 “Are you saying I’m not allowed to flirt?”

 “Do what you want, I guess. Sure. Flirt. All laws are broken, we’re locked in a closet.”

 “Whatever I want?”

 “Now it’s enough.”

 “Fine. Got any more ideas?”

 “Search for a morsel of food in my bag, maybe.”

 “I might have chips in my bag. If not, I may have to resort to cannibalism.”

 “Then you wouldn’t have anyone to talk to. And didn’t you say I was hot? Pretty sure a half-eaten body won’t be as nice to look at.”

 “You never know.”

 Remus found a small bag of chips in his bag, opening it and handing Logan some chips. They both munched quietly until it was done, then returned to their placement on the wall.

 “Oh, do you want your shirt back?”

 “Not really, but I should take it. Someday when we’re not trapped in a closet I’m gonna buy you a crop top.”

 They changed back into their original clothes, Remus nearly stealing a glance at Logan’s shirtless body.

 “How much time do you think we’ve got left?” Remus turned his head lazily towards the other boy.

 “Probably another hour or so.”

 “We never finished the game, did we?”

 “No. Your turn, I believe.”

 “Except now we both have to put a finger down ‘cause you wore the crop top.”

 “That’s not how it works!”

 “Hey, I put a finger down for metaphorical closets. Plus I let you wear my crop top, it’s only fair.”

 “Well… I guess I have two left now.”

 “Hah, three. I’m winning. Never have I ever,” Remus began, “eaten pie. It’s the one sweet thing I’ve never had. My mom tries to make it sometimes, but it always gets burnt. I’ve tried to convince them to let me eat it anyway.”

 “Hm. Me neither.”

 “Seriously? Hasn’t basically everyone eaten pie?”

“Too much sugar.”

 “At least it’s fruit, though. I mean, you accepted the chips, those aren’t exactly healthy.”

 “That’s an exception. We don’t have any other food.”

 “Well, fair. Your turn.”

 “Never have I ever… heh, never have I ever been happy. Shit, no, didn’t mean to say that.”

 It’s not that inaccurate, though.

 “Guess we’d both have to put a finger down. You’re smiling.”

 “Hey, doesn’t mean I’m happy.”

 “I know how smiling works. If it’s real, your eyes squint at least a little bit. Your eyes are squinting a lot. It���s cute.”

 Logan accepted this and put another finger down. He hated feeling because he knew what it did to people when he did. When he was happy, he wasn’t on guard. He had to be careful about what he was doing, else he could end up being insensitive.

 “Okay. If I can get one more, I win. Never have I ever been on a plane.”

 “God, I wish.”

 “Oh, come on. If you end up beating me, I’ll eat your homework.”

 “Never have I ever had to copy someone’s homework.”

 “Well I guess you managed to get both of us to one. My threat still stands. Never have I ever played piano.”

 “Nope.”

 “I’m gonna change that at somepoint. You’d be hot playing piano.”

 Logan leaned in closer.

 “Never have I ever been as pretty as you.”

 “We both lose.”

 “That- doesn’t even work.”

 “Sure it does.”

 “God, I barely know you and I’m flirting with you.”

 “Like we’ve both said, locked in a closet. Who cares what we do? Honestly I’d be down to fuck if we weren’t in school.”

 “We’re teenagers.”

 “So? Heh, we’ve already taken our clothes off in front of each other.”

 “We weren’t looking at each other.”

 They heard footsteps from outside. Remus got up immediately and started knocking on the door as loudly as he could. They thankfully got closer, and they were both relieved when the doorknob turned and the classroom’s light poured in and it wasn’t just a dim lamp lighting the room. Logan felt as if he’d lost something, despite the return to class supposedly being a good thing. He felt just a little bit emptier.

 “Ms. Kachinsky! I apologize, it seems as if we were accidentally locked in.”

 “Oh no, I’m sorry, boys. I mean, I’m the one who locked you in here, I’m guessing. Well, you’d better get to class. I’ll send you both with a note.”

 She wrote them both a note and they went on their way, no way of knowing what she’d just created.

[hydemind]

Your thoughts on Isaac, William, Frankie an Jack 🎤?

OHHHHHH CROW I COULD GO ON ABOUT THEM FOR HOURS.

this post is SUPER FUCKING LONG so for the first time in my life im using a read more link.

I'm gonna start out with Will, who, a little fun fact, isn't actually named William! His full name is Willis Grossman. His parents thought it'd be funny. Will doesn't know his full name.

Here are some other fun facts about me and @functionentropy 's Will (along with other characters below) (he is also the one who has been making this entire creepypasta interp with me! Go check out their art or else /lh):

Will was born in the late 1800s early 1900s!

His parents were a lot like a Bonnie and Clyde duo, and they cared and loved for Will very, very much.

Will always looked up to Isaac! He wanted to be exactly like his grandpa when he grew up. Isaac was also a wonderful grandfather as well.

Will, on his 13th birthday, got Isaac's mask as a gift. When he got it, Isaac said to him: "keep it safe. It's a family heirloom.", Will uses that excuse as to why he still wears it to this day.

Speaking of Isaac, he's the underrealm equivalent to a tumblr sexyman. Everyone thinks he's hot shit, but that also goes for a lot of serial killers residing in the underrealm. Will unfortunately had to see his grandfather on magazine covers talking about the underrealm's HOTTEST NEW KILLER. He hates it.

Will ran away from home after Isaac died at around the age of 20 to 21, and considering he was a legal adult, his parents couldn't do much. They're still looking for him. (How, you may ask? Well, a little thing about the underrealm is that it stunts growth. You're essentially unable to die of old age down there. Think shitty immortality. His parents are looking for him, and they know he's in the underrealm- so that's how they are still around!)

Will had the worst time in the underrealm for the first few years he was down there. He wasn't immediately enrolled in the institution and he had a hard time holding down a job. Eventually he met Frankie! They live(d) in an apartment together. The first time Frankie met Will he thought he was Isaac and told his landlord and him HELL NO. Frankie does not like Isaac. Cue [will's offended gasp] and him saying he's his GRANDSON, and WHY IS HE ACTING LIKE ISAAC SUCKED? Cue Frankie making fun of him for being a grandpa's boy.

Frankie and Will had a bumpy relationship for a while. Will wasn't always a good person. Not really bad, just a fucking dumbass.

Speaking of Frankie...

Here's stuff about Frankie!

Frankie's origin story is essentially the same in this interp. Except for the fact that Frankie very much HAD A PAST. (which. If u wanna know more........I would love to talk about it......but this is about CURRENT Frankie so if u wanna know more bro just pop up in my dms or send another ask im feeling wild tonight)

After Amy passed (which was NOT due in part to the operator in this universe. The operator just found her like that) he was found by Bell (prince beelzebub, ruler of the underrealm at that point). You should know Frankie wasn't always an adjusted and normal fuckin person. He was like a rabid dog for a good while there.

While Frankie was unhinged he fucking death rolled Daisy the first time they met. (Daisy is an oc! I'm willing to talk more about him if you want the deets. He's interesting :]) because of this Daisy is the only one allowed to openly make fun of Frankie. (Playfully, of course.)

Daisy and Bell both basically helped Frankie adjust to society.

Frankie is autistic! So is Will. And Isaac. All. Everyone. Everyone has autism. (Shhhh. i'm projecting.)

Frankie can see souls! He's a very good judge of character because of it. However Frankie doesn't know what he's seeing is people's souls.

Frankie goes specifically after bad people. He'll take jobs from bad people, but he'll kill them, too. He says "he's sending them back to where they belong".

Frankie was the first to really show Will killing isn't just something you do. It's more than that. Will had never really processed death and murder of his fellow man like that before. He has a hard time even processing people as people sometimes, outside those of whom he cares for. This is because of Isaac. Isaac taught Will that people are bad- all of them. And that killing them is preventing them from hurting others, even if they haven't yet.

Frankie is a good guy and honestly a softie deep down. He worries and cares for all those who are close to him, even if he doesn't act like it sometimes.

Frankie says Toby "kidnapped him" and "made him diseased". 1. Frankie can very much leave the household at any time and 2. Frankie is referring to the operator sickness. Speaking of that-

Frankie was dragged through the operator's own personal hell! (Aka the realm they reside in more often than not, aka the place that Tim gets tossed around in near the end of marble hornets.) Reason being was because he threatened Toby's life. The operator is very protective of Toby.

Speaking of that, someone else was around when Toby met Frankie...

ONTO LAUGHING JACK!

ohhh man. Oh man. Oh baby. This clown is FULL of illness. Alright. So let's start off simple:

Lj was of course, made for Isaac. That's still a consistency. What isn't is that lj was around Isaac for a lot longer than in the original story. They developed a very close bond over the years they knew eachother, but, all good things must come to an end.

Lj returned to his box when Isaac left for boarding school. However, unlike the original story....Isaac didn't really come back to open the box. In fact, the most Isaac did was...well, I'll wait to spill that for Isaac's part later.

However! Eventually the house got passed off to another family. Years, and it mean YEARS later someone found lj's box in the attic! They were an unfortunate casualty.

After this, lj went and hunted Isaac down. Cue gore filled murder scene.

Things to note: LJ feels HORRIBLE about what he did to Isaac. He regrets it everyday. He wishes he had never done that to him.

But, time skip a bit.. we're further in the future now. LJ has his carnival set up and hidden away in an empty spot in the forest. He eventually comes across a wandering spirit because of this. This wanderer just so happens to be Sally!

LJ takes her in and swears to protect her with his life. In a way, you could say he sees her as a chance of redemption.

Sally was a wandering spirit, meaning she never really was stuck to one spot in particular- also meaning she wasn't very strong. Because of this, LJ gave her some of his own angelic essence. This boosted Sally and essentially made her a poltergeist!

(Note: Sally doesn't know how she died. Also, none of the things in her og story happened to her in this one. Fuck mishimishi. All my homies hate mishimishi.)

A little while after this they actually meet Toby and Jeffery! But this is getting long and to explain THAT entire debacle would make it even longer. but again I fully invite you to send more asks or just straight up dm me if you wanna know!

Now, last, but certainly not least..

ISAAC GROSSMAN.

OH MAN. Isaac is a DOOZY. Just like LJ, this baby is chocked FULL of illnesses! *slaps the top of his head like the roof of a car* but also, fair warning here: im gonna be talking about some heavy stuff. Abuse, physical and mental, gore, just. Death in general. Cannibalism, and EXTREME MENTAL ILLNESS *loud airhorn* so if any of that stuff gets to you steer clear of this part!

Anyways, let's start out simple!

Isaac was born in victorian England.

Isaac's mother was terrible towards him. I'm talking mental and physical abuse. She was a horrible, horrible woman.

Isaac's father...he wasn't a good person either, but he didn't beat Isaac. Nor did he really mentally abuse him either. He just...let it happen. He didn't even hurt his mother like he did in the original story. Isaac's mother was just plain bad for no good reason.

Isaac was sort of. Born having mental illness. They didn't just develop for him due to the abuse he experienced, though they certainly DID make it worse. There were other mental issues he has now that developed due to the abuse, however.

LJ was quite literally a godsend for Isaac. Metaphorically and not Metaphorically. LJ made Isaac happy, gave him comfort, and was basically like the mom he never had.

that's why it was so hard on Isaac when he had to leave lj behind. For a while he even had hallucinations of lj while in boarding school (which only furthered his future belief that lj was a hallucination brought on by the need to cope).

Isaac's first technical "murder" you could say was at boarding school. He pushed a shitty teacher down the stairs when there was no one around and they died. It wasn't even premeditated- more like it just sort of..happened.

Eventually Isaac graduated. When he did, he promptly returned home and killed his parents, as you do. /s

Isaac killed his mom in a rather violent fashion in comparison to his father- he whiplashed her so hard she fucking died.

Not long after this Isaac started his..well. I guess you could call it career.

Basically you know what happens after that. human skin chair, yadda yadda yadda, underrealm's sexiest killer, you know the drill.

Isaac did more than the human skin chair though! In fact, he uh. He. He did a lot. He did. SO much. But that was because Isaac believed in not wasting any part of the body. Which means Isaac not only made human skin chairs, but he was an avid cannibal, as well. (Fun fact, this very much extended to Will's father, mother, and Will as well. Will didn't know they were eating human for a long time. He had to realize that on his own.)

Eventually, Isaac punched his ticket because of LJ. But..I'd be a liar to say he really died.

No, our wonderful boy Isaac didn't die. He became a ghoul. Which, by the way, only further fucked with Isaac mentally! He's so ill. Some other things happened which I won't say here because they're spoilers for the fanfic I'm working on (Oh yeah the hyperfixation is that bad, but if you wanna know, again, I fully invite you to ask), but basically Isaac eventually gets taxidermied by, drumroll please..TOBY!!!! yeah. Toby does taxidermy as a job. He invited a new type of it for taxidermying Isaac. It was to repay daisy for something he did for the group.

But to say, again, that THAT was Isaac's end, would be another lie! No no no. Isaac was alive during the entire process! The good news is that he's never looked better after he escaped daisy's house when it got exploded by Frankie. Which..that's uh..another story for another day. This post is already insanely long and I am NOT putting it in the main tags.

So yeah! Im absolutely crazy for these dudes and I love all of them. By the way if you couldn't guess before Frankie and Will very much get together and are so so gay. Another little thing: Isaac is gay too, he had a past relationship with a man by the name of Dr. Locklear! Locklear is French German and his accent shows it. They were very close but fell out because of Locklear being involved with the institution and...a certain foundation.

I'll leave it to you to ponder on that one.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

any recs for old!Johnlock? (Preferably not retired) Thanks!

Hi Nonny!

Ohhh, hmm. You know, I have absolutely READ older-couple Johnlock fics, but the only ones I’m remembering are when they’re retired or “not together but have got together when they old and dying” LOL. 

I did a list last year for Retirementlock fics, and I do have new stuff but not a lot, so is it okay if I do “Retirement and Older Johnlock” fics for you? I hope so!! I tag them retirement if it’s retirement, so you can skip those ones

Feel free, my friends, to add your own!!

RETIREMENT and OLDER JOHNLOCK (Jan 2020)

Our Bodies Bend Light by lovetincture (G, 1,211 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Beekeeping, Retirement) – They got married. Of course they got married. Snapshots in a relationship. There’s a jar of bees in the bookstore and a cottage in Sussex. Sherlock’s not the marrying kind, and John’s tried this once before, but they’re Sherlock and John. Of course.

Fine Print by mistyzeo (E, 4,224 w., 1 Ch. || ACD Holmes || Est. Rel, Retirementlock, Glasses, Oral, Hand Jobs, Bees) – Holmes needs glasses, but he’s too much of a stubborn arse to go get his eyes checked. Watson is used to bullying him for his own good. The glasses have unexpected but not unwelcome consequences for everyone.

a very soft epilogue (my love) by darcylindbergh (E, 5,395 w., 3 Ch. || Retirement, Domestic Fluff, Dancing, Dogs, Grumpy Old Men) – Across the pillows, Sherlock shifts and hums, the creases of his face deepening and then smoothing before settling. John watches him wake up, his chest swelling with affection and fondness, and thinks he’ll never get tired of Sherlock in the mornings, sleepy and soft. It’s been some forty-odd years, and John hasn’t gotten tired of it yet. Part 5 of things fairy tales are made of

Second Waltz by Atiki (T, 6,685 w. 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, Missed Chances, Retirement, Sussex, Bees, MCD, Angst with Happy Ending, Fluff, Cancer) – “The night I died, you wished I could wait for you.”

Abatement by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 6,816 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Retirementlock, Fluff, Sherlock’s Self Esteem, Grumpy Sherlock, Idiots in Love, PWP, Fluff and Smut, Bottomlock) – “What’s wrong with you? You love the cottage,” John glances over to the passenger seat, then quickly turns his eyes back to the road. Driving was still not his forte, but considering Sherlock still couldn’t properly bend and lift his new knee enough to press and release the clutch, he had to make do. Not that Sherlock hadn’t tried to argue his way into the driver’s seat. “I love the cottage for a week or two, John. Don’t be deliberately obstuse,” Sherlock grumbles, sinking further in his seat. Well, as best he can with a four-week-old knee replacement. “And that’s all we’re going for, love,” John says out loud. But what he’s thinking is, shit. He knows.

A Lifetime Together by LondonGypsy (M, 8,886 w., 1 Ch. || Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Falling in Love, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Pining Idiots, Alternating POVs, Domestics, Retirement) – John and Sherlock falling in love.

Five Times Sherlock Realized He Was Getting Older by Mildred Graves (T, 9,215 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Old) – … And one time it didn’t matter.

In The End by whitchry9 (K+, 9,677 w. || Memento Fusion || Amnesia, Growing Old, Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Heavy Angst) – When a brain injury leaves Sherlock unable to make new memories, John wonders how Sherlock will cope, and what it will mean for The Work and their life. Because after all, how can you live if you can’t feel time passing?

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you’re living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

echoes through time by chellefic (E, 21,619 w. || First Time, Romance, ACD & BBC, Epistolary) – Mummy sends a trunk from the Holmes cottage in Sussex to 221B. Its contents alter the way John and Sherlock see themselves and one another.

A Shipless Ocean by myswordfishmind (M, 22,135 w., 4 Ch. || Post-TRF, John has a Kid, Angst, Reunion, Falling in Love, Open Ending) – Ten years after the fall Sherlock goes back to London to find that John no longer lives there. Instead, he resides in a seaside town, a widower, and the father of a seven year old son. Now, Sherlock must struggle with the fact that there may no longer be a place for him in this new world.

The Wisteria Tree by SilentAuror (E, 29,773 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Emotional Love Making, Amnesia/Memory Loss, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Sherlock POV, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, First Times, Hurt/Comfort, Est. Rel., Retirement) – Sherlock wakes up from a month-long coma only to discover that he has no memory of the previous six years to his own shock as well as John’s…

The Winter Garden by Callie4180 (T, 31,213 w., 13 Ch. || Post-S4, Retirement, Christmas, Slow Burn, Grown-Up Rosie, Parenthood, Rosie’s Cat, Angst with Happy Ending, Holidays, Beekeeping, Magical Realism, Sherlock POV, Sherlock’s Violin, Future Fic, Sussex, Honey, Magical Healing Honey, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Scar, First Kiss, Touching, Mycroft is Dying) – As Sherlock nears the end of his career, he’s given the gift of a cottage in Sussex. The honey from the beehives out back is amazing. Almost…magical.

Chaperones by MissDavis (T, 34,114 w., 7 Ch. || 11 Years Post-S4, Fake Relationship, Parentlock, Disney World, Bed / Room Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, First Kiss, Obsessive Sherlock, Insecure John) – Right. Of course. Everyone assumed they were a couple and no one would question it. John put his elbows up on the table so he could rest his head in his hands. “You want to pretend to be a couple so we can chaperone a trip to Disney World with Rosie’s class and you won’t have to share a room with a stranger?” “Exactly.” Sherlock beamed at him. “Don’t worry about the cost. The Birmingham case last month paid more than enough to cover expenses for all three of us.”

Where Else Would I Be? by cwb (E, 34,910 w., 10 Ch. || Retirementlock, Domestic Fluff, Falling in Love, Parentlock, Fluff and Smut, Reminiscing) – John and Sherlock’s five-year-old granddaughter spends the weekend with them in Sussex. Sherlock happily indulges her whims, and John takes care of them while quietly revisiting the past thirty years of their lives together.

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

between each beat are words unsaid by darcylindbergh, hudders-and-hiddles (T, 107,998 w., 215 Ch. || Epistolary, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Angst, Happy Ending) – On their wedding night, John and Sherlock gift each other with the things they each said when the other could not hear, the things they each put down where the other could not see: a collection of writings that illustrate the way their love for one another has grown over the years. Part 1 of between each beat

Unkissed Series by 221b_hound (T to E, 184,100 w. across 45 works || Established Relationship, Ace Sherlock) – Sherlock returned from the dead a year ago. John returned to Baker Street six months ago. They’ve been in a couple since then. or at least, not NOT a couple. For two smart men, they sure can be dumb. Luckily, an art thief tries to drown Sherlock, Sherlock has a fever dream and things are about to change.

Sketchy by serpentynka (E, 184,053 w., 83 Ch. || Post-TRF, Post-Mary, John Whump, Slow Burn Love Story, Case Fic, Art, Porn With Feelings, Switchlock, Travelling, Career Change, Family Secrets, Illness / Health) – What (and who) will be left when nobody cares about your Work? A slow-burn fic with cases, places, mistaken identities, unfair choices, essential changes, violent feels, blatant lies, fearless portraiture, family secrets, high-risk bespoke gifts, durable friendships, bedtime stories, foreign travel and tongues, sickness (and health), and the significance of things which are slow to unfurl – but cannot be ignored. Oh, and…porn. Part 1: Sherlock takes on an obvious case (barely a 4) and meets someone who will force him to re-examine what it means to see. Part 1 of Sketchy

MARKED FOR LATER

The Last of the Honey Bees by what_alchemy (T, 2,000 w., 1 Ch. || Apocalypse, Retirement) – “When we’re all space dust… when all of this is gone? My molecules will find yours.”

A One-Track Life by JennLynn77 (E, 13,526 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4/TFP, Parentlock, Est. Rel., Medical Procedures, Anal, Cuddling/Snuggling, Bed Sharing, Surgery, Physical Therapy, Retirement, Sherlock Whump, Caring John, Bottomlock, Endearments, Drug Addiction, Triggers) – A medical situation threatens to derail the plans Sherlock had for his life with John and Rosie.

Deck the Halls by itsalwaysyou_jw (T, 31,018 w., 24 Ch. || Advent Fic / Multiple One-Shots, Assorted Tags) – One Johnlock ficlet for every day leading up to Christmas. Who is ready for pining, first kisses, established Johnlock, and everything in between? This collection of stand-alone ficlets will have it all. (Ch. 7 is the Retirement Fic)

FictoberLock 2018 by FinAmour & unicornpoe (M, 60,875 w., 31 Ch. || Halloween, Protective John, Smitten Sherlock, Fluff, First Kiss, Injured Sherlock, Various Prompts) – 31 different prompts, 31 Johnlock fics: one every day for the month of October! Each chapter is a stand-alone story. Some are written by unicornpoe, some by FinAmour, and some are written by us both! They range in length from ~500 words to ~3500 words, and there’s something in here for everyone. (Ch. 23 is the Retirement Chapter)