#where Leo was big mama’s spy

[bonniethemutant]

just lost a tumblr comic i wanted to continue… heartbroken…

[chiscribbs]

Some miscellaneous doodles for ACT I of my Grown Apart AU!

If you squint, you can get a little context for the plot. ... If you don't feel like squinting, however, here are some convenient notes I've included about what's going on in each image:

(top left -> bottom middle)

Donnie hides his spidertech underneath a specially designed tailcoat that he made himself. The back has two openings on either side, hidden by an overlapping layer of fabric, from where the mechanical legs extend. Naturally, each spider leg hides a multitude of secret functions, most of which no one else but him knows about (not even Big Mama.)

Raph thinks Draxum's new prisoner/test subject, who he's been instructed to keep an eye on (no trouble there!), is just the cutest thing ever.

Leo and Mikey experience the joys of a two-child-household. When the little sibling is bored, no one else is allowed to know peace.

When Draxum joins sides with the Foot Clan, Raph is forced to work alongside humans for the first time. Draxum's always taught him that humans are the enemy of the yokai and that they need to be destroyed, so he's a bit...conflicted about this new development.

In an attempt to prove his usefulness to Big Mama - Donnie enters the Hamato residence as a spy, under the pretense of being an escapee of Big Mama's prisons (is it really all pretense, though?) He manages to win the ever-optimistic Mikey over with little trouble, but Leo is not as easily convinced and remains suspicious of the purple-clad "yokai's" intentions.

Big Mama can't risk losing her best engineer and mechanic to the above world as she did her champion all those years ago. So, she takes every necessary precaution to ensure Dontavius (Donnie) remains under her thumb, exactly where she needs him to be. After all, Mama knows best ❤

Splinter searches for his two lost sons, ninja style - Leo and Mikey are still too young to be left at the lair by themselves, so he's had to improvise.

A little clue as to how April first meets the boys - Leo and Mikey, that is - in this AU.

[fizzywashere87]

Hello!! If it's alright with you can i please request rottmnt with a mom like yor from " spy x family "? Platonic, funny one-shot, hc or anything you want.

Like she's sweet and would go up and beyond for her babies but she's secretly an assassin and that's the one thing she WON'T tell anyone at all.

notes: OMGIE YESESES!!! (we don't talk about the fact this is over a month past due but :D) I'm going to do them altogether- and I'm making reader's personality like what you described to me so I'm sorry if i misunderstood anything!! Hope you enjoy and tysm for requesting!!

We Love You Anyways, Ma (HC's)

Toitlez

I think it's a trend for the rise!turtles to have dumbass parents

Look at Splinter from even before he was mutated

Barry.

yeah, you're a little naive but isn't everyone?

Now we know where your boys get it from! :D

April is apart of the family btw and she's your daughter

I reckon Mikey does all of the cooking anyways because you...

cannot.

The few times you tried ended with Raph, Leo, and Mikey screaming in the background, while Donnie extinguishes the fire

You guys lost a very important member of the family that day,

Speck.

You burned 'im at your failed attempt at cooking

That poor speck of cooking residue that was immune to cleaning supplies :(

Not even you, the mama of this carnival was able to remove

Maybe had a 'lil funeral as everyone cried but Donnie wasn't phased his ass was waiting for it to happen-

The lair is literally spotless

Nobody ever questioned why you were so good at cleaning

Actually, Leo did, I lied damn intuition i swear he has it

The boys get away with a lot, I'm sorry

"Where have you boys been?" You stand with your arms crossed scowling at the boys, they just got back to the lair and they do not look like they were anywhere you would condone as their mother.

Leo steps up, flashing you a smile, a bright one at that, "Sorry we're late Ma, we wanted to stop and eat pizza! We're sorry for not letting you know, we promise we'll let you know next time." He says, sounding oh-so genuine, how could you not believe that? Raph, Donnie, and Mikey are standing in the background nodding along to everything Leo is saying and you look at all of them carefully.

"Alright, be more careful next time! You had me worried!" You'd smile, and that would be the end of the conversation as your boys scurry away as a person right in the head would deem; suspicious.

You're not right in the head btw.

Overall, you guys are a family and you love each other tons

They do appreciate everything you do for them

You love them unconditionally and would do anything for them Please give Donnie validation and praise- boy needs it

You'd also do anything to protect them

Did I mention you're crazy strong?

Yes, you trained the boys so they have your agility

At some points you're overly gentle but you'll never tell anyone it's because you can't handle your own strength

Your excuse is that they can't handle it

You brush it off as a joke though

It's hard hiding such a big secret from them, but it's for their safety

They don't know why exactly you're so strong and cool, you played it a certain way that they'll never question

You do have your dumbass moments, but they never imagined you as an assassin- their mother? nah.

Your children come up with some weird ass shit on a day to day basis and never once they put two and two together

Your dumbass children i swear-

The boys love watching you in action

From the close combat that almost nobody can match-

To the way you effortlessly handle your blades

The way you know the exact points on a person to aim when attacking

Or how you've basically never lost a fight

The way you can scope out where your opponents are and how quick your reflexes are-

No you're not an assassin

I'm just lying!! You are!

If they ever were to find out, it's because your dumbass let something slip

The boys and April caught onto something

Leo confronted you in an indirect way

Boom

Exposed.

"WHAT?!" They simultaneously exclaimed in shock. Donnie pulls out a bunch of tech- probably to add to his file he has about you, Leo is shaking you by the shoulders demanding more information, Mikey copes by running around yelling 'OHMIGOSH,' Raph fell over backwards as if he were an object, and April yells 'I knew it!'

It's chaos.

As everyone settles down, you have no choice but to fill them in further, you go sit down at the table and they listen to your story. They are very shocked, very confused on some things, a lot of things are adding up now. But they aren't mad at you for keeping such a secret, none of them are, they think it's hella cool.

Leo raises his hand with a question and you wait for him to go on,

"So did the weird creepy fox yokai end up with the ugly bunny yokai or the nasty hamster one?" He recalls one of the missions you just told them about.

"I'm pretty sure it was the bunny." You answer, not really phased by the type of question he just asked and everyone nods along calmly.

Yeah. This is your life and you wouldn't wish for anything different.

[phoebepheebsphibs]

Double-Mutated Mikey

Chapter 40: Biofilm

Continued from the short story written by @boots-with-the-fur-club

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Donatello races down the hallway, checking his trackers every few minutes to make sure everything is going smoothly with the others. After this is over, he's thinking of adding hidden cameras to their masks as well, so he can also see where they are, not just know their longitude and latitude. What good is knowing where a person is if you can't know what's going on?

Donnie started getting into the trackers phase when they'd first come up against the Foot Clan, and Raph had accidentally eaten a tracker meant for a salami paper stack. That had been the inspiration to start tagging his family. He'd installed the subdermal trackers sometime after then, working on different updates and methods of inserting them under the skin or under their shells when they weren't looking or conscious or aware or -- well, you get the idea.

But as time went on, he'd started thinking maybe adding a visual or audio aspect to the tracers was a good idea. It was starting to annoy him that his brothers and father would go places alone for long periods of time and he wouldn't know why or what was happening. Donnie would never consider himself 'clingy'. Or at least, he'd never admit that he was. Donnie was just... concerned for their well-being. And it always seemed like their well-being was coming into question whenever he was not with them. He should have added the video/audio feed to the trackers a long time ago.

He'd have known what was taking Leo so long to get them back after they'd been portaled to Tahiti.

He'd have known what Leo and Papa were doing with Big Mama while they dealt with the Shredder.

He'd have known where the Shredder and the Foot Lieutenant and Foot Brute and Cassandra took Splinter and Barry when they attacked their old lair.

He'd have known what the Krang were doing with Raphael when he was captured.

He'd have known what happened to Leo in the Prison Dimension.

He'd have known about Mikey's captivity and recapture.

He'd have known how to be the genius they all needed him to be.

He'd have known how to be a better brother...

Donnie swallows the thoughts and keeps on moving. He turns a corner and sees a strange laboratory, filled with machines and mechanisms and lasers and weird gadgets that Donnie would be more than happy to take home with him... But it also has what looks like a few medical devices stored in there as well. A CT scanner, an X-ray machine, other devices that Donatello recognizes from science-fiction films and spy movies that definitely won't be found in any normal hospital.

This looks like the kind of place that a man specialized in engineering and robotics would be hiding in...

Donnie sneaks over to the room, not caring about dodging cameras. The building's been evacuated, and even if it hadn't been, everybody already knows that they're here.

The door was left open by a careless employee trying to leave in a hurry. Perfect! Donnie's ninpo can create all kinds of stuff, but making small items to hack into things like security systems takes a lot of brainpower. And -- you didn't hear it from him -- it's difficult. His ninpo works like his mind, building the items piece by piece, engineering the weapons or defense mechs however he sees it in his head. And while he is a genius, even geniuses have trouble keeping track of hundreds of thousands of lines of programming. Even a small item like the USB flash drive he gave April earlier would take a lot of internal interfacing and coding... it's exhausting. But not impossible.

But fortunately, it isn't necessary.

Donatello sneaks in cautiously. It's strange how the room is a Frankenstein mashup between a doctor's office and a robotics lab. Secretly, Donnie is taking mental notes on how to incorporate some of these ideas and designs into his own lab.

There are desks covered with tools and blueprints. Cabinets with vials and liters of mysterious multi-coloured liquids. Tables with a few unpacked boxes stuffed with strange items and labels scribbled messily onto the cardboard. On one said table is a crate. Poking out of said crate, Donatello can see a wooden staff with purple wraps, two familiar blue hilts for what he can assume are twin katanas, and the edges of a battleshell.

"Our stuff!" he whispers to himself. They definitely need to get those back...

Donnie rushes to the box and starts rummaging through it. Yep, it's all here... Dee's gear, Leo's swords, Raph's sai. He reaches in and retrieves the weapons, looking them over for anything like tags or trackers that the TCRI or EPF would have placed on them. They look fine...

"My goggles!" Dee cheers, grabbing them quickly and placing them over his eyes to inspect the software. "Oh, thank God they didn't mess with my babies..."

"Don't thank Him just yet!" a voice cries out from behind him.

Donnie yipes before ducking, narrowly avoiding a swing from a madman behind him. He doesn't look like a guard, but instead wears a standard white lab coat. His hair is wild and unkempt, dark eyebags sag on his face, his chin is stubbled with untended scruff. By the looks of it, his only diet is caffeine and the suffering of others. He must be a scientist, then. His voice sounds familiar; Donnie's sure he's seen or heard him before...

"You were on the video files from the previous building!" he realizes, quickly grabbing his bō from the box and readying himself. "You made Mikey fight monsters in the Interaction room..."

"I see someone's been doing some research!" the man chuckles, his eyes wide and firey. "I'm flattered you recognized me. The name's Dr. Rod Timothy, not that you'll have much of a mind to recall that after I finish with you!!"

Donnie dodges as Dr. Timothy grabs a futuristic weapon from the table and fires it at him. Burning red blasts of light fly through the air. Dee ducks quickly, jumping to the side as he tries to come up with a weapon of his own. His mind always goes straight to the extreme -- 'go big or go home,' 'more bang for your buck', etc. Typically, the villains he fights are durable and super-strong mutants, they require bigger weapons like missiles and giant drills or hammers, etc. Humans are small, easy to break, but fierce and determined. They're harder to gauge, and Donnie has to search his mind for a weapon he can use against him without actually causing too much damage. Not just to the human, but also to the building itself. So missiles are off the menu.

Donnie's palm fills with parts and pieces that instantly grow together and attach in method and order, creating a mini grenade. He taps a button and sends the round object flying towards the scientist. It lands just a few feet in front of him and -- BOOM -- the flash grenade goes off, blinding the man as Dee uses his goggles to guide him through the room and find a place to hide.

"AGH!" Timothy screams, covering his watering eyes as he staggers around. "Y-you... you see, this is exactly why I was hoping you'd come here..."

Donnie peeks out from behind a giant scanner, watching as the mad scientist stumbles around chuckling.

"You creatures always have such a strange tolerance... it's superhuman...!"

The man looks up and looks around, pupils dilating like crazy as he frantically flails his arms and hands, feeling for something.

"And soon, I will be too..."

He really is insane, Donnie thinks to himself.

"If you're so keen on mutants, why'd you experiment on my brother?!" Donnie snarls.

Dr. Timothy reels around and stares blindly in Dee's direction, trying to listen as Donnie ninjas away to a new location to watch Timothy... and lure him into a trap.

"Oh, yes," Timothy laughs, the tears from his watering eyes streaming down his face. "You're brother was loads of fun. I enjoyed our little exercises and examinations thoroughly... Such a fun little plaything, a wonderful puzzle to take apart and put back together."

"Anyone ever tell you to get psychiatric help?" Donnie growls.

"More often than you'd think," Timothy cackles. "But they don't see the necessity of my methods! The vision! They're all sniveling, spineless, mindless plebeians who cannot understand the future..."

"What future is that?" Donnie asks, purposefully directing the man towards the far back of the room.

"Oh, one that you'd approve of!" Timothy laughs, blinking quickly, eyes darting back and forth. "A future free of humans. A future of mutants."

"What are you talking about?" Donnie asks, genuinely confused. "Chaplin wants to eradicate the mutants, why --"

"Oh, he's nothing more than a COWARD!!" Timothy bellows, fist pounding on the side of the table and sending small items flying. "He's a pathetic hatemonger who can't see that the only way for humanity to advance is to literally advance as a species and evolve! He thinks that what we need is to take out the competition!"

Dr. Timothy smiles so wide, his face contorts as though it's made of flabby plastic.

"I say we need to switch flags."

Donnie purposely knocks over small rolling cart of supplies, causing Dr. Timothy to stagger towards the sound.

"Chaplin is a visionary, though. And a golden goose. I never would have been able to pursue my research without his funding..."

"Well, the golden goose won't be laying anymore eggs for you psychopaths," Donnie huffs. "Chaplin's dead."

Timothy grunts at the news. Donnie can't tell if he's laughing, or making strange sad noises. The deranged fiend turns to stare blankly at the table, almost wistfully, reminiscing his fellow evil scientist.

"Well... he was a very significant man. Powerful, resourceful, determined... but I can't say that I'm not a little glad that he's gone."

"Oh?" Donnie chuckles. "No love lost between coworkers?"

"I had respect for the man, it's true," Timothy grumbles, reaching across the table strewn with supplies as he feels his way around. His fingers curl over a few of the objects laid before him as he moves forwards. "But his values and ideals were misguided and foolish. Only the strong come out on top."

"I'd like to think the smart ones have a pretty good chance, too..." Donnie remarks, stepping into a side room and waiting for Dr. Timothy to tag along.

"Oh, I agree!" he laughs, following Donnie's voice into the dark room. "Which is why I hate to see you die."

Timothy grips one of the items pulled from the table and clicks a button. A long laser-weapon activates, and he laughs as he runs in after the softshell.

"Nice sword-axe-laser-combo," Donnie smirks. "Where'd you get it? Hollywood Studios in Florida?"

"Do you like it?" Dr. Timothy grins sarcastically. "It's just one of the few things I thought to bring with me for this climactic stand-off..."

He presses a button and the door behind him slams shut with a mechanical hiss. Dr. Rod Timothy brandishes the weapon casually at the mutant teen who cooly holds his bō staff out at the man as well, ready for a duel.

"Does this room look familiar?" Timothy cackles. "If you really did the research, then it should. It's the same as the one your sweet little science experiment of a sibling was made to fight in! Only right we made another one for the experiments to follow... And I can't wait to see what happens to you in it."

Donatello smiles.

"You want me to fight you? The same way you made my baby brother fight your mutant monsters?"

"Oh, you can fight one of my monsters too if you want!" Timothy shrieks with laughter, holding up a small remote control. "With a push of a button, they can come pouring in. But for now, I want to see what you can do. See what parts of you to keep and what to... scrap."

Donnie sneers.

"So this is an assessment, then."

"I suppose so," Dr. Timothy shrugs. "But we'll see who wins."

Timothy charges, laser weapon at the ready. Donatello grips his bō staff and swings it, blocking Timothy's attack. A purple shield forms and pushes him back. Timothy grunts with effort as his feet skid across the tiles. He laughs hysterically, eyes growing ever wider.

He charges again, swinging the battleaxe around before striking again. Donnie's battleshell opens up and reveals a small jetpack, which takes him up into the air. He launches over Timothy and lands behind him, clicking a hidden button on the shoulder pad and activating a wire that wraps around the mad scientist. Dee launches again and prepares to strap the man from the ceiling and literally leave him hanging.

Dr. Timothy squirms about and manages to pull an arm out, fumbling with the laser device and cutting the line. As Timothy freefalls, Donnie's jetpack crashes him into the ceiling as it attempts and fails to compensate for the sudden loss of weight. Timothy pulls another device he'd taken from the table and points it at Donnie. A small gun, almost like a pistol, which fires out a sudden blue blast at Dee's jetpack. The rotors freeze, ice covers the exhaust ports, and the whole jetpack itself malfunctions and sends Dee crashing to the ground.

"Your brother showed a severe aversion to cold, so in order to keep him in line we created a series of ice-generating weapons like this handy little prototype," Timothy boasts, twirling the pistol around like it's a toy.

Donnie growls in fury. Timothy fires a few more shots, blasting the turtle in the arm and leg as he tries to get back up from the fall. Donnie yells in pain as his limbs suffer from ice burn and start to turn red and swollen from the cold blasts. Shards of frost and ice crystals form on the skin. Donnie gasps from the pain and starts rubbing his limbs, careful not to let the injuries turn into frostbite. Timothy fires another shot, but this time Donnie is careful to dodge it, jumping out of the way despite the pain. Timothy fires again. Dee swings his bō at the man, creating shield that blocks the blast. He swings again, dissolving the shield and reforming it to create a replica pistol that fires directly at the weapon, clogging the barrel of Timothy's gun with ice.

"That was good!" Timothy laughs, dropping the gun before his fingers freeze to the metal. "Nice deflection! And it's clear that I could not defeat you physically. Your mutant genetics must have enhanced your bone structure and muscle mass, yes?"

"That's one theory," Donnie snarks at him. "Or you could just be a weak old guy with a pathetic toy gun."

Dr. Timothy laughs again.

"I'm technically not old, I'm 36."

"That's old, dude."

"Kids these days..." Dr. Timothy sighs. "If brawn cannot win, then perhaps brains shall..."

Dr. Timothy starts clicking buttons on the remote, setting off a few movement-tracking firearms. Donnie recognizes the sleek black metal machine guns from some of Mikey's recorded sessions in the Interaction Room. Dee creates another shield and avoids the torrent of bullets and darts that fly as Dr. Timothy advances again.

"Let's see how you fare against two threats at once!"

Donnie ducks back, hand and staff flying forward as he thinks up a quick weapon to make for his defense. A purple ninpo hologram forms over the wood, creating an imitation of his old tech-bo. A giant mechanical fist ignites at one end, and Dr. Timothy and Donatello exchange blow for blow, guarding and attacking as the two simultaneously dodge bullets from above.

"Where do you come up with these weapon ideas? Jupiter Jim's 19th Return to the Moon?"

"Two distractions at once, and he still finds the mental capacity for a rib!" Timothy laughs. "I should spar with my creations more often..."

"I am not your creation!" Donnie yells. "AND NEITHER IS MY BROTHER!!!"

Donnie suddenly snaps, kicking Dr. Timothy in the chest and sending him back into the wall. Timothy's weapon knocked from his hand, Donnie grabs it and flings the laser cutter towards the turrets, tearing them in half and destroying them completely.

"Very well done!" Timothy chuckles nervously, as he half-struggles to get up. "Well done indeed! You are quite the adversary. But, I would wonder how well you'd fare after I become one of YOU!"

Donnie watches in confusion as the scientist pulls a syringe from his pocket. It's glowing green.

"This is a mutation formula that I've reverse-engineered from some samples I found over the years. Your brother is one of them, true... but the majority of the formula comes from a few mosquitos we found buzzing around..."

"Draxum's ooze," Donnie gapes, his voice a horrified hush. "You're going to mutate yourself?!"

"It's about time I evolved into the higher species!" Timothy cackles madly, his mind fully gone. "And now with Chaplin out of the way, there's no stopping me!!"

"Wait!" Donnie tries to warn. "You don't know what that will do to you!!"

"I know exactly what will happen!" Timothy screams back. "I will finally be the apex predator!! Now watch as I become a random creature of mass destruction!!"

Timothy stabs the syringe into his arm, the re-created ooze seeping into his veins.

"Random?" Donnie questions. "No, you'll just turn into the last biological organism you came into contact with."

"Wait, what?" Timothy questions, sobering for one second. "What do you mean, the last thing biological organism?"

"The ooze combines your DNA with that of whatever you touched last. Didn't you know that?"

"No! How would I know that?!" Timothy screeches, gripping his sides in pain as the ooze starts to recreate him.

"Looks like somebody didn't do their homework after all..."

"What am I going to become?!" Timothy shrieks, his whole frame shaking.

"Well, what did you touch last?"

"YOU!"

"No, you never actually touched me," Donnie clarifies. "You're wearing gloves, and your weapons hit mine, but we never came into actual contact -- details matter in science, you know..."

"W-WHAT'S HAPPENING TO M-M-MEEEEEE?!?!" Timothy screams, his voice fluctuating and gargling as he begins to sweat profusely.

It's not sweat.

His skin is melting.

Donnie watches with a sickened expression as Dr. Timothy's body begins to turn into a sludge, the skin tone changing into a slimy fungus-green, every part of him slowly dissolving and gooping together in a way that turns Donnie's stomach. He looks away, and forces himself to keep away even as the man screams and pleads for mercy and help. His voice is literally drowned out as his vocal chords liquify along with the rest of him.

It goes quiet. Donnie shakily turns to see what has become of the poor deranged man. Nothing remains but a puddle of gelatinous ooze wobbling on the floor several feet ahead of him.

"L-looks like your reverse-engineered formula wasn't complete," Donnie gulps. "Or maybe the ooze really did transform you into the last thing you touched... which would have been the ooze itself. Whatever the solution, I'm not going to stick around for --"

A gurgling scream tears the room apart, as the gelatinous blob starts moving, shifting, and reforming into a sloppy mess of a man.

"Lₒₒₖ wₕₐₜ yₒᵤ'ᵥₑ dₒₙₑ ₜₒ ₘe!" Timothy shrieks, his voice a wobbly, watery mess as he slowly pulls himself together. "I wₐₛ mₑₐₙt ₜₒ ᵇe ₐ fᵢₑᵣcₑ ₘᵤₜaₙt! Nₒₜ ₐ ᵇₗᵤbᵇeᵣᵢₙg … ₜhᵢₙg!!"

The newly transformed Timothy charges at Donnie, his arm elongating and stretching like those slappy hand things Mikey was obsessed with at the age of six. Donnie dodges it at the last second, the hand slinging across the room and sticking to a panel on the wall. It rips the panel straight off, revealing a section of machinery hidden behind it.

"Whoah!" Donnie yells, dodging once again as the arm comes slinging back.

"I dᵢdₙ'ₜ wₐₙₜ ₜhiₛ!" Timothy screeches as he continues his tantrum. "I wₐₛ sᵤpₚₒₛₑd ₜₒ bₑ ₜₕₑ ₐₚeₓ ₚᵣₑdₐₜₒᵣ, ₙoₜ ₛₒₘe ₚₐₜₕₑₜᵢc ₛₗᵤdgₑ fᵣₒₘ ₜₕₑ ᵇoᵗₜₒₘ ₒf ᵗₕₑ fₒₒd cₕaᵢₙ! ᴺᵒᵗ a gˡoʳⁱᶠᵢₑᵈ aₘebₐ! ₙₒₜ ₐ Lᵢvᵢₙg Wₐₗₖᵢₙg MUD PUDDLE!!"

Timothy's body morphs again, his form splattering in twenty different directions and splashing onto several frames and tiles from the walls, ceiling, and floor. He pulls them apart, releasing a robotic arm that reaches down and attempts to attack the two of them. Donnie slides to the side and avoids the robo-arm. Dr. Timothy's tentacle releases from a section of the wall and accidentally tangles around the mechanism, getting stuck inside the gears and causing it to malfunction. The arm swings back and forth, trying to catch Donnie or Dr. Timothy before becoming hopelessly trapped in the glue-like goo that the scientist has become.

"Wₕₐₜ ₕₐᵥₑ yₒᵤ ᵈᵒₙₑ! ᵂₕₐₜ ₕᵃᵛe yoᵤ dₒₙe! Wₕₐₜ ₕₐᵥₑ yᵒu ᵈoₙₑ!" Timothy wails as he flails about the room.

His arms knock loose the devices hanging from the ceiling. They come crashing down, splatting Timothy flat and trapping him momentarily.

"Sorry doc, but this was all you," Donnie states, dodging one of the slimy appendages before tuck and rolling towards the door. "And no offense, but I've had enough slimy tentacle-induced sensory issues for one year, so I'll just see myself out..."

"Yᵒᵤ ₕₐᵥₑ ₜo ₕeˡᵖ ₘₑ!" Timothy screams, reaching out for the ninja in desperation.

"There's nothing I can do for you now, Tim," Donnie scoffs as he picks up the remote from the floor, avoiding Timothy's sludge and slime. "You wanted to be a mutant, so now you're a mutant. Congrats, welcome to the family."

Donnie stares down at the remote and all the little buttons it comes equipped with. He presses one, and the door opens.

"But don't worry. After everything you did to my brother, I won't just leave you here alone to rot..."

Donnie turns to face the mutant man, and gives him a cold smile before pressing every button on the remote.

"You said something about 'monsters flooding in at the push of a button,' right?" Donnie asks, his smile becoming almost like a snarl. "How about I leave you with some company?"

Every trapdoor in the room opens up, and hundreds of glowing red eyes appear from the darkness. The sounds of snarling and growling and howling and yowling starts to fill the enclosure.

"ᴺᵒ… ʸᵒᵘ caₙ'ₜ ₗₑₐᵥₑ ₘe ₗiₖₑ ₜₕiˢ!" Dr. Timothy begs.

"You said you wanted to be a mutant," Donnie sighs, clicking the button to close the door. "You can chill with your own kind now. See how long you last."

"Nᴺᴼ0oₒo0Oᴼ--!!!"

The doors close just as the monsters creep in and pounce for the slime man.

Donnie blinks for a moment before exhaling loudly.

"...Karma... is absolutely insane."

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[thankchaosforspellcheck]

Post ROTTMNT season 2 au where Mikey overhears Splinter talking about his past relationship with Big Mama with Leo and like wishing that his last real romance hadn't ended on such a bad note.

Mikey decides to Do Something About This.

But instead of trying to redeem Big Mama (which he's still TOTALLY planning on doing, just not now) he reasons that what Splinter REALLY needs is to Get His Mojo Back!

SO he decides to set him up on a series of blind dates in the Hidden City.

All of these dates are of course ruined in a myriad of horrible and hilarious ways; the waiter trips into the table, the boys (who are spying on this) not-so-accidentally drive the date off, at least one date is so terrible that they drive SPLINTER off, etc.

This all accumulates with Splinter being even more depressed than he was before the dates, sad and outside the restaurant in the rain.

Only for an umbrella to suddenly block the rain, and a charming Yokai woman about Splinter's age holds out a hand.

They go to a nearby bar and start talking, it turns out she's a former actress who used to star in action flicks on the surface with a cloaking broach she rented out, so they have plenty in common.

They both have a grand old time, laughing and chatting about their glory days, never going to in depth to preserve that magic.

At the end of the night they part ways, but the yokai leaves a card with Splinter saying he can call her again sometime, maybe they can go out sometime.

The card is simple, elegant, and has in bold, curly letters her name:

Tang Shen

[imagionationstation]

GONNA GET RANTY

You like my rants, do you?! You like my headcanons?! Hmmm?!

THEN LET’S GO BECAUSE I SUDDENLY REMEMBERED THAT I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT THIS!

Two words. Fungus. Humongous.

*screams into pillow* *wrenches self back up*

OKAY. Let’s get ‘er done.

It’s not the episode itself that I don’t like. It’s just one premise of it that I refuse to accept. And as it’s already been established that Donnie is the fav, I THINK IT SHOULD BE CLEAR WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS

Or maybe not. Because this became canon, so a couple writers must have been blind to it. So let’s get a move on, shall we?

So. Their fears.

April’s makes perfect sense. Her dad’s been turned into a mutant that she can never be certain isn’t going to decide that she’s his meal instead of his daughter. She knows that he’s her dad, but he’s also become something else. That has to be scarring and terrifying, especially since he kidnaps her whenever they meet. This girl has some serious trauma, and her fear is of her dad turning against her- him hurting her. Especially after he’s spent his entire life obsessively protecting and caring for her.

We’re introduced to Leo’s fear early on, which is him failing his brothers. He mentions that he has nightmares about things happening to them, and him not being able to do anything about it. Not only does he have big brother and instinctual mama bear vibes, but now he has leader responsibilities on top of it. He’s terrified that he’s going to be the reason they get hurt.

And I know what you few Leo-shouldn’t-be-leader fans are thinking, and NO! I do not support fanfics where the brothers are like “Sensei gave this to you when it was to much for you to handle, so you shouldn’t be leader anymore”. LEADER IS EVERYTHING HE WANTS IN LIFE! LEADER IS APART OF WHO! HE! IS!

His father didn’t up and decide that for him! Master Splinter was just trying to help lead him to being the best leader he could be!

Of course it’s stressful! He’s out there saving the planet and keeping his family safe! Besides, what worthwhile thing in life isn’t?

We’ve already established that Casey has a thing about rats, and who knows if it originated or was influenced by the story about this ‘Demon Rat?’ Super curious about that lore, btw.

In conclusion, perfect sense. Irrational/chronic fears are not fun.

Also, Casey, bro, look me in the eyes and tell me that you haven’t subconsciously shaped the Demon Rat to look like Master Splinter this whole time, because I believe nothing! 🤣 (Not a jab at Splinter, I just like how brains make connections without our consent. Like how dreams work, yk?)

Mhmm, mhmm, I completely believe that somewhere in Raph’s mind, he’s secretly terrified that the Spy-Roach- *looks at mental notes* -otherwise knows as Chong (*WHEEZE*🤣)- will come back. His irrational fear transformed into a weaponized creature that’s only life’s mission is to hunt him down and end him, and in turn, will happily end his brothers along the way. Two terrifying prospects in one. This fear checks out.

Again, past mutant trauma that I wholehearted believe haunts Mikey because of their first battle! He never had the irrational fear, but he does have the spooky tunnel attacks and almost drowning at their hands in the back of his mind. They start out tiny and cute and suddenly they’re purple and trying to kill you! No way to tell until it’s too late! Seriously, it’s played off as a joke (a funny one, mind you), but I wouldn’t trust squirrels either!!

And now.

What you’ve all been waiting for.

“Don’t touch me! Get away from me! You make me sick! Mutant! Weirdo!”

“April! What’s wrong with you??”

“You nerdy- three-fingered- FREAK! I hate you! You mutated my father! I never want to see you again!”

YEEEEEE- CAN I JUST SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS! The way the scene is acted out is a little cringe, but you look past that and EVERYTHING THEY ARE NOT SAYING BUT ARE ABSOLUTELY SAYING?!

“Don’t touch me!”

HELLO?! THE MUTATION SITUATION ANYONE?!

“Don’t! Don’t touch me! You keep away from me! I never want to see your faces ever again!”

“What am I to April, anyway? I’m worse than a nerd. I’m a freak! We’re all total and complete frea-!”

People, this is all being made up by his subconscious. I don’t think I’m reading into this when I say that he is absolutely dealing with intense insecurities and this cringe scene is so much more than him fearing his crush disliking him. April is the first female human he’s ever met; the first human kid his age that he’s ever come in contact with! I’m not surprised that he attached himself to her, or that he’s placing every inch of self-respect on whether or not she can see past him being a ‘freak’.

I think if they had left this here; I would have been in love with this ep. This would probably be up in the favorites, and I’d watch this as obsessively as I watch “The Broken Foot” and “The Creeping Doom”.

Unfortunately…

THIS IS THE ESCALATION SCENE?! THIS?!

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS DOES?! THIS TRIES TO UNDERMINE EVERYTHING THE FEAR PORTRAYS! THIS TURNS IT FROM A DEEP AND BURIED TRUTH, TO THE OBSESSIVE CRUSH! I CAN STAND THE CRUSH ASPECT AT TIMES, BUT THIS IS PUSHING!

BUT I REFUSE! I. REFUSE.

NO WAY! NU-UH! NO WAY! NOPE! NADA!

There is obviously some serious Mutant Dysphoria going down, and I’m willing to bet it’s been there for as long as this kid has known the truth about the human world. This should have escalated into his brothers hating him or being mobbed by humans or just her yelling at him some more- literally anything would have been better than this!

Oooooh, maaan, I am so high strung right now. Should probably walk away before I snap. As you can see, I’m so normally attached to this show and this boy. Nothing concerning or unreasonable about it!

If you disagree with or dislike anything I said, leave a factual comment explaining why I’m wrong! I totally could be! Or you could not know something that unintentionally makes you wrong. Either way, turtle education is shared! Tis the best kind~ 💚💜💙🧡❤️💚

[gladiatorofthevoid]

Moments: Rise One-Shots

AO3 Link

Based on the Rise August Challenge by @sariphantom Thank you for Hosting this Challenge.

Mad Dogs: Draxum ponders over why his creations would use the term “Mad Dogs” to identify themselves. He sees why. (BAMF Turtle Brothers, Draxum trying his best)

Disaster Twins: Donnie and Leo like to show their love through gifts. (Fluff, Angst, Gifts)

 Dr. Delicate Touch: How did Mikey become Dr. Delicate Touch. (Turtle Tots)

 Yokai: Donnie and his brother weren’t humans. So, he was excited to discover that there was a whole city of people like them.  Except that it turns out they aren’t Yokai either.

 Mayhem: Agent 64 knows that their mission is over. That the council would want them back to continue their work elsewhere. So, they gave themselves a new mission: to spy and report on human activity.

Cassandra Jones: Cassandra Jones had loved the Foot Clan, the Clan just hadn’t loved her back.

Senor Hueso: The hidden city was aware of the invasion but didn’t know how it ended. Senor Hueso finds out when the turtles come to eat.

Big Mama: Leo is trapped with Raph by Big Mama (Whump)

Kimono: Ralph wears a kimono; it feels strangely right.

Pizza: Mikey tries to make pizza from scratch. It... doesn't really work out.

April O’Neil: It’s hard to believe that April is human sometimes, even she sometimes questions it. (BAMF April)

Cassy Jr.: Cassy Jr has a panic attack. Raph helps. (Angst)

 Cannonball: Cannonball Day ends with Mikey having his arm in a cast. (Hurt/Comfort, Broken Bones)

 Purple Dragons: Donnie was not happy that the Purple Dragons had made him almost destroy his brothers. But they were fine in the end, so no harm, no foul. That didn't mean they weren’t still on thin ice with him, then they decided to do the incredibly stupid thing of risking his son’s AI’s life. They weren't going to know what hit them.

Invention: Donnie has never been the safest in his lab. He regrets that now more than ever, as his newest invention begins to malfunction.

Hidden City: The Hidden City is a weird place. so, when something weirder comes along they notice it. And rumors are a thing no matter where you live.

Warren Stone: Warren Stone is not the most intimidating figure, but he'll be damned if the relaxing date he had planned for him and his boyfriend was to be interrupted by anything.

Lou Jitsu: Splinter finds an old Lou Jitsu Movie, and he takes it home. He never meant for his boys to find it. (Fluff, Angst, Tots)

Snow Day: Mikey isn't the best at dealing with low temperatures. His brothers must deal with the aftermath. (Hurt/Comfort, Whump)

Sleepover: Everyone needs some comfort after the invasion, and since Leo can't be moved from the Med Bay, they'll have to make do. (Hurt/Comfort)

Mrs. Cuddles: How did Raph become afraid of Mrs. Cuddles?

Hypno: It turns out that Leo and Hypno have a lot in common. So, when they're not trying to beat the living daylights out of each other, they have a lot to talk about.

Turtle Tots: Turtle brothers have always been trouble magnets, which hadn't been great when they were younger. There was a reason Donnie invented his battle shell.

Rise: The Hamato children remember what it was like when they awoke their Ninpo.

@nickelodeon please bring back Rise!

[crackedpumpkin]

So about rise leo x villian! Reader plot, bef i say anything am a huge sucker for good endings so don't blame me.

So i hc reader as a gymnastic - the the villian from Barbie spy movie(?) - with gadget that help her/them shape shift to anything or anybody (So OP must nerf).

Plot; So the reason why reader is begin a villian to begin with is she's working for big mama - yes am gonna blame big mama - as her special thief, reader have the ability/ or have a gadget that make them shapshift to anybody or anything which it helped them escape from the crime scene/ mad dogs may many times.

The reason why she works for big mama is because BM took her in from the streets after she almost pull a perfect heist from BM's hotel, instead of sending her to police or just k1ll her she took her in as her new minion.

The reason why she know the mad dogs was because she's also a friend to april whom she trusts, so April trusted her enough to introduce the mad dogs to her which in the beginning reader took it as a nice game to make fun of the mad dogs to know what they feel about her after she's able to escape them, but soon fall in love with leo which it was unfortunate for her.

Fast forward, the mad dogs takes reader hostage because they just can't let her go, she knows where they live, she knows too much, they try to interrogate her to know anything about her; who's her boss, where she got the gadget? Why working as a thief? But reader is as hard as a nail and won't peep of an info.

That until leo asks her " was everything about us fake? Your feelings towards me? Our dates? Was everything fakes? " Leo asks, reader wanted to be honest and say no but begin afraid of seeing her answer as a lie she sees its best for them to break up and for leo to find another person, but for this to happen he have to hate her, so she pulls the " bad girl " mask and say " yep, everything was a lie, am surprise you even believed i loved you! " To the mad dogs, splinter and April they believe her mask but leo knowing how people could see right through her.

When everyone leave leo and reader alone to talk, leo start pressing reader for his answers, reader put a fight by saying hurtful words but in the end breaks from guilt, she loves leo so much she feels the guilt is crushing her, she wants him to forgive her but she knows she doesn't deserve it.

She get surprised by leo mentioning how reader have to stay in the lair to keep on " interrogate " her, tho reader knows it's way of leo saying " you're gonna stay with me until your problems is solved ", yes reader hadn't gotten leo's full trust again but it's a step to regain his and the family's trust.

first of all, i love the headcanon of gymnastics reader with the shapeshifting because it's just such a cool thing tbh. And almost pulling the perfect heist?? i would hire her in an instant. I think if it was me who wrote this it might go something like:

You slide down the rope, eyes scanning the room to see if any alarms had been triggered yet. Noting the absence of flashing lights and loud blaring sirens, your shoulders sag in relief at going undetected.

----

and reader getting caught by the mad dogs and being interrogated??? Oh my GOD so much potential for angst here it's insane. Mikey interrogating her?? sweetheart won't be able to hold back tears. Raph??? Incredibly disappointed. "I thought we were bear buddies!"

Donnie?? Well. Honestly I'm not sure how he'd react but i think he'd be rather hurt bc he considered you a good acquaintance, maybe even working your way up to be a worthy friend.

And then there's Leo. Our sweet, sweet turtle who just so happened to fall for the enemy. Honestly I'm always a sucker for sweet endings but I just so happen to be rather evil and as such will leave it on a high note of heartbreak :>

So, if I were to just kinda drabble a bit (Please pardon the suddenness of it all, this is very on the spot bc inspo hit and completely unedited/thought out) I'd write it like this:

"Fine, don't tell me anything then." Leo stands up, the shards of hurt and betrayal stabbing into his chest even deeper as he watches your bowed head. You refuse to look up, to meet his gaze because you knew that if you did, you'd break.

You're already trying to silence the voice in your head practically screaming at you to tell him everything. To tell him everything you felt for him - that you still feel for him, was never a lie.

Your eyes water, but you refuse to let a single tear overflow and land on the table. Your arms are tightly secured with rope, and you can barely breathe even though they had been lenient with your restraints.

Leo wants to say something - anything, for the glimmer of hope in his heart that you'd come clean.

"Please."

That makes you look up. His eyes are filled with desperation, pleading with you to admit that what the both of you had wasn't just pure deceit.

When he finally manages to meet your gaze, he almost forgets how angry he is. Your eyes swirl with guilt and regret, conflict in his chest as he watches you visibly struggle to find the words to reply. He wants nothing more than to wrap you into a hug, to soothe your worries (and his) and to forget everything that went down in the past two days.

But you don't reply, and it worsens the pit of despair his heart is already plummeting into.

So he turns around, walking out of the room and slamming the door shut, leaving you behind in the cold darkness.

-------

but yeah! I genuinely really love this plot idea and i think i'll come back to it one day. But currently I'm rather busy and bogged down with work, so it might be a while (whoops).

Thank you so much for sending this in! I really enjoyed this idea :D

Actually, i just got reminded of this one Donnie fic by someone on tumblr(i can't remember the name of the blog, someone please lmk what it is!) but it has a similar storyline whereby Donnie and reader are in a relationship, only for him to find out she's been working for Big Mama all along! I remember it has a happy ending, so I think you'd really enjoy it!

[a-random-pillow]

Many would like to know how the Hidden City turtles met April or Cassandra. However, I want to know how Leo met Hueso in your AU.

I'll start with our dear April since she has less backstory. She meets the turtles the day she meets Mayhem. By that I mean she gets poofed into Draxum's lab. Mayhem didn't mean to but the human had grabbed them, and they had been heading to Draxum's to 'spy' (Watch the family Drama). She recognizes Lou and proves herself in a fight against Big Mama's henchman while they are trying to return her topside. This happens when she is around 10.

Now for the Caseys, these poor babies. In this AU Cassandra is older by 1 1/2. It might not be that much time all things considered but she took her big sister role VERY SERIOUSLY.

In this AU there are kinda two foot clans, the normal foot lead by Shredder/Saki and the Mystic Foot lead by Lieutenant and Brute. They fled to the Hidden city after the Clan was destroyed and rebuild there, far from any pesty Hamatos. Brute and Lieutenant find out about the Dark Armour and start to plot but haven't done much yet.

Neither of the Spilnters know about the Dark Armour because the Dark Armour was keep a secret expect for the elders who would monitor to make sure no one started to rebuild it.

So how did Cassandra end up with the foot? At a young age 3-Year-Old Casey and 5-Year-Old Cassandra found a wayward portal to the hidden city. It was their favorite place to explore! Their parents didn't care where they were so nothing stopped them form spending days at a time there. After a year Brute finds Cassey, he mistakes her for a lost child. Casandra gets Casey to hide and he watches as the Brute takes her away.

He never returns to the Hidden City after that. When he is older he doubts he even had an older sister, their are no pictures of her and the Hidden City seemed so unreal. Even by his standards. He is sure it's just old Trauma merging with old Trauma, that's why the guy had a foot face.

During the series Cassandra is low-key looking for Casey because she was indoctrinated into believing the foot was good and wants her brother to be happy and badass with her. She tells Lieutenant and Brute who both are like 'shit' and help her look but after seeing how intertwined Casey is with the normal Foot they realize they can't pull him out without risking exposure. So they lie and say they can't find him, since if Cass realizes her baby brother is fighting the foot with a hockey stick she will probably destroy haft the city in the name of 'protecting' him.

Now Senior Hueso, tbh he would probably still run Run Of The Mill but with illusions magic to make it look normal, unless you are a regular. Most of the customers are people who believe that Humans, Yokai and Mutant can all live togther. Lou loves it since he doesn't get too many weird looks and Draxum tolerates it. They go there for family dinners regularly so Senior Hueso knows them well. He meet them when they were 5 and is pretty much their petty wine uncle. Draxum has added extra mystic security since he is hella paranoid about humans. Hueso also knew young Casey and Cass, he would give them free pizza and nearly adopted them.

I hope I answered your questions!

[seraphim-writes]

Hi, Can you do rise boys x reader that one day when they are on a mission the reader takes their mystic weapon and uses it with the villan ?

Treacherous little thing pt 1.

ROTTMNT boys x GN!reader

Warnings: Violence, cursing

It was late at night and the turtles were on their way to a new location where ooze-squitos were spotted. You followed closely behind them. This new location was a ballroom where the Halloween costume ball was be held.

“It could be disastrous if that many people were mutated!” They all had nodded in agreement. Luckily you had been the one to tell them of this new location.

You had a plan. You tried your best to remain inconspicuous. The turtles eventually arrived at the building. Leonardo smirked “We’ll have a ball.” The group, including you groaned in agony.

“We need to blend in, that means no weapons visible boys. We don’t need authorities called.” You grimaced slightly at the thought.

“Where do you suggest we put them?” Donatello said flatly.

“We’ll my soft-shelled friend, I know an easily accessible spot.” You pointed to a back door and waved them on to follow suit. Walking inside you lead them to a small janitor’s closet. Opening the dimly lit closet you noticed it was empty. “Perfect! And it’s right next to the ball room!” You cheered. Focusing your vision on the leader you smiled patiently waiting for them to give in. Raphael chuckled shrugging and begins tossing his weapons lightly inside.

“Great idea Y/N !” That was easier than you thought. The others soon tossed in the rest of their weapons.

“Let’s go scout out the area.” You suggested.

“Yeah let’s go!” Michelangelo cheered running off into the ballroom. You followed closely behind him as the others followed you. As you entered the ballroom Donatello gave a suspicious look in your direction.

Was he onto you?

Eventually some time had passed, and the turtles closely investigated the ballroom. Luckily, they had blended in passing off their appearances as costumes. You had gone as a old timey spy, trench coat, earpiece and all.

Suddenly your earpiece rang.

“Oh, my swifilty servant are you there?” Taking this as a signal you stepped back into the hallway quietly and began heading towards the janitor’s closet.

“Yes Big mama.”

“Good good, now do you have the package?”

“Grabbing it now.” You grabbed the weapons, your hands buzzed with the feeling the mystical powers residing within them. You grinned. This is it . Huddling a small mass of weapons in your right arm, you took Leo’s sword in your left hand. Repeating what you had learned from Leonardo you swirled a circle around your body a portal to Big mama’s office formed and transported you immediately to her.

“ Y/N ! Oh goodie! I see you have no problem using the wippity weapons! You’ll make a good fighter in my battle nexus!” You nodded confirming the fact you knew how to use them and were indeed ready to fight in the battle nexus. You could hear foot steps approaching.

“Where are they?”

“I knew we shouldn’t have trusted them!”

“Cmon Donnie it couldn’t have been them.”

“Don’t be naive Raph!”

Shit! They were onto you, the door swung open. Raphael’s eyes widened in surprise. All but Donatello we’re surprised actually.

“Y/N?! Big Mama?! What are you two doing with our weapons?”

“Sorry boys it’s nothing personal, just trying to get my paycheck.”

“Oooh you’ll see! When you’ll have to fight for them in the bittlety battle nexus!”

“Oh that’s easy ! We can beat anyone you throw at us.” Leonardo laughed putting a hand on his hip. Raphael nodded in agreement .

“Even against Y/N ?” Big mama giggled.

“WHAT!?” The boys gasped in unison.

[thedawningofthehour]

Ok, I must admit that at first I was ready to believe completely that he was a double agent, mostly because of how you edited the chapter where the idea was introduced, but then I thought it was too obvious, and as the chapters went by I dismissed the idea. If he was a spy for big mama, why was he so ready to kill leo that time? Unless he was being careful in case he was being watched.

Another theory is that he would be a spy for someone else besides Big mama. But more clues are needed.

However, if it turns out that tigerclaw is a spy, then this would be another blow to Draxum's confidence and his paranoia would go through the roof.

...When did Tigerclaw try to kill Leo?

I'm legitimately scratching my brain for when I implied that and why I would do so.

[rubie-tmntluver]

BIG Mama's Kids AU (BM'SK)

Ok, so I have been thinking of this AU for a while, especially when I keep hearing this one song on YouTube that goes: M-A-M-A-B-O-Y, MAMA'S BOY MAMA'S BOY" so yeah...

This is an au with my oc Hope, its where she is 5 years older than the turtles (so she is 22 by the time the movie rolls around), Draxum promised big mama a champion (this is before they know she is a girl), they use a cat for this experiment, since this is also a mutant, they uses the first bit of ozze on her and use big mama's DNA. Big mama threatens Draxum to make it to where she was powers (metal moving powers) and once they know it works Big Mama takes care of her and she helps draxum find the ozze to make the turtles. When Draxum goes behind her back and takes Lou jitsu for his new "warriors" big mama gets MAD and destroys his lab even more. She says her daughter can come over whenever she wants as long as she knows she is over there and safe.

Years later when the boys first enter Draxum lab with April, Hope is just off to the side not noticed, and when the lab is about to explode she wraps herself in metal and goes back to the battle nexus and tells big mama what happened. She tells her that she is really intrigued with what they did and wants to know if she can spy on them up on the surface to observe what they do. Big mama says yes since she is also intrigued and what's to know more about them. Hope has been going to the surface since she was small, and since she knows new York like the back of her paw, she knows what to do. Btw she is a regular at run of the mill so she knows hueso, she starts going almost everyday and has become even more of a regular, ofc she eats stuff other than pizza there. About a month before the krang comes she meets Raph at run of the mill, they become friends and about a month after the krang she meets the other three! oh, and when the krang attacked she pretend red to be on their side so one, she would live and two, so she could betray them at the last second!

So this is basically what happens after she meets all four of them and what they do together (they do eventually find out her mom is big mama and big mama knew when she met Raph, Leo, Donnie, and Mikey because Hope told her, and she does act like a little child sometimes)

[chiscribbs]

Hello! I have a GA question! From the least angsty duo to the really angsty duo, where would you place each turtle duo in? And why? >:D

Okay- I may have misunderstood your question, I'm not sure. Feel free to send a follow-up if I did, lol.

But I'm guessing you mean in terms of the brothers' relationships with each other, whose is the angstiest? In which case... it depends on the timing? Act II Raph (for example) is so much angstier with everyone than Act III Raph would be, since he's technically an "enemy" to them, lol.

Speaking generally, though, I thiiiink I would order it like this (from most to least):

- Leo / Donnie - Mikey / Leo - Leo / Raph - Donnie / Mikey - Mikey / Raph - Raph / Donnie

Will drop some explanations for the first and last picks below, if you're curious ;>

Raph & Donnie are at the bottom because they essentially already knew of each other before actually meeting face-to-face. I wouldn't go as far as to say they have a history, but they've always been vaguely aware of each other's existence, which is more than either can say about the other two. They also come from similar backgrounds and have similar struggles, so there's not a lot of conflict to be had between them. Not to say there's zero conflict, they both still have to adjust to being a family now, but there's nothing too terribly tense or explosive.

Leo & Donnie are at the top because, well... they have a lot of conflict, LOL. Donnie initially joins as a spy and Leo is immediately suspicious of him (partially due to his obvious connections with Big Mama.) On top of that, Mikey's taken a shining to him. Leo and Mikey's relationship has been distant for some time and Leo's not too keen on the idea of being replaced ironically and a tad hypocritically, on his end, nor does he trust Donnie not to hurt his little brother. Leo is the biggest obstacle in Donnie's path, as well, because he's constantly keeping tabs on him - getting in the way of his mission and being a general nuisance for him. So, they spend a good chunk of the AU being at odds with each other. (And even when they're not on opposing sides anymore, they don't exactly get along right away - too much ego between the two of them, lol.)

Everyone else is somewhere in between, with Mikey and Leo having the second rockiest relationship (for pretty much the reasons listed above) and Mikey and RAPH's being the second most chill.

[a-myriad-of-stars]

Figured it was time for me to officially introduce my girl, Maggie! She was on my artfight line-up this year, but I’ve had her as an OC since 2012. I revamped her storyline a little for the Rise verse, but the beats are mostly the same. The events of her coming to the lair take place some time after the movie, when Leo and Donnie are 16, as she’s the same age.

Maggie is the first creation of Baron Draxum after rebuilding his lab from the Lou Jitsu incident.

As a sort of commission, Big Mama wanted a being capable of shapeshifting to spy on her enemies, but was inherently human in nature to be able to blend into that side of her hotel business without the need of a cloaking brooch.

Baron discovered Maggie while she was walking home from school one day, plucked her up off the street, and started to work, adding in different dna of camouflaging reptiles, amphibians, and cephalopods. The whole ordeal was incredibly traumatizing, so when she was handed over to Big Mama at the age of 11, she was basically a shell of a person, ripe for the programming. After 5 years of being Big Mama’s secret weapon, she’d had enough and broke free into the sewers, where she runs, quite literally, into Leonardo.

Now Maggie had actually known the turtles since she was 7. She’d been passing a park in the village with her mom, and saw a strange green boy in a blue bandana and jersey, trying to build a sand castle. She decided to help him, and they became fast friends. He was devastated when she went missing, and never stopped looking for her. A bit more on their shenaniganery to come.

After some interrogation to make sure she was in fact who she said she was, she moved I to the lair to protect her from Big Mama or anyone else who wished her harm. She becomes quite integral to the crew, becoming the “guy in the chair” while Donnie, goes on missions with his brothers.

Donnie takes a vested interest in her mutations and tries to unravel her genetic makeup to see what besides shape shifting she may be capable of.

She and Mikey share a deep love of art, and paint the lair in swathes of murals and graffiti. They once made a challenge to tag every available surface, and whoever got the most tags won pizza from the other person for a year. Maggie surprisingly won, using her camouflage to her advantage.

She and Raph are sparring buddies. Since she can shapeshift, they can go all out with each other without fear of serious injury. They also share a love of stuffed animals, and share a teddy bear town punch card.

She and Leo become a couple after the events of the movie, but the foundations of their relationship are there from moment one. He shows here every Lou jitsu movie, Jupiter Jim movie, and Disney Movie he can get his hands on, and it comes to be that “Tangled” is her favorite movie of all time. The lanterns scene brings her to tears. Leo decides in that moment that whenever fireworks or lanterns were involved in New York, Maggie HAD to go.

He once dragged the whole family to a rooftop near the Hudson on the Fourth of July, and didn’t tell Maggie why they were there. He put a pair of noise cancelling headphones on her just in time for the fireworks to start, and her eyes lit up brighter than the whole of Manhattan. That was when he realized he loved her, and maybe always had.

When time came that Maggie had been in the lair for several months, the boys decide to build her a room and an art studio in one of the old subway cars. They filled the space with hanging lantern lights, plush bean bag chairs, and a loft bed going between the two luggage racks. She came home to the lair from a pizza run to find the rooms, and could not stop crying and hugging and cheek kissing her friends, lingering a little longer on Leo.

I love my girl so much, and it’s a fantastic sandbox the rise creators have given us.

Edit: made a few changes to coincide with recent news and updated headcanon.

[keysszz]

Fancy Weaponry

A ROTTMNT Fanfic

A story requested by @bi-panic-at-the-disco

Ok, so this idea was so hilarious I had to do it 😄.

So to make people understand, we all know this meme, right?

No more needs to be said.

He couldn't say that he was liking what he saw…

His younger brother; his immediate younger brother, had found some kind of weapon. Sure, Raph was always open to the ideas that Donnie had for his techbo, but this was something different… Something strange…

Insane, even. 

Because the sight that was currently in front of him wasn't something he wanted to see.

Donnie was in front of the snapper; only inches away, and though his back was turned he knew that the genius was smiling.

Cackling...

Fear rose up in the red turtle, wanting to do something to stop his brother, but before he could move towards him Donnie muttered something.

"Let's do this."

Earlier that day:

Donnie had been roaming around the city for quite some time now. It was nice to finally get out the lair and get some fresh air; he'd been in the lab for most of the day, and though he did like his tech it had gotten pretty tiring. 

(And Raph may or may not have forced him out, but the softshell wasn't trying to think of that at the moment)

"Slow down Donnie!"

Speaking of Raph…

"I'm not even going that fast," Donnie groaned. "And shouldn't you be faster than me anyway?"

Donnie was currently using his wing attachment on his battle shell to fly across the rooftops while Raph trickled behind. Why Raph was going so slow, Donnie didn't know. He looked behind and saw that Raph had stopped a couple of inches back.

"Look!" Raph pointed down below them. "Isn't that Big Mama?"

Donnie raised an eyebrow as he flew beside his brother. He looked down at where Raph was pointing, and sure enough, the spider lady was on the ground below.

"Yeah, it is," Donnie answered. "I don't know why she's just out in the open though…"

"Someone seems to be with her," Raph replied. "But I can't make out who it is."

"We should follow her," Donnie told his brother. "To make sure she isn't up to anything."

Raph nodded his head and they watched as Big Mama and her companion walk in the other direction. Donnie and Raph followed them via rooftops, and they stopped once they saw the two go into the Grand Nexus Hotel.

"I mean, this is her hotel," Raph said.

"But don't you think it's a little weird for her to just be out like that?" Donnie asked. "Something seems off."

"Maybe she was setting up another deal," Raph replied. "Whatever it is, I don't think we should get involved. We don't know what she would do if she knew we were spying on her."

Raph waited for Donnie to answer, but he didn't hear anything. He turned around to see what the softshell was doing, but Donnie wasn't there.

"What the?!" Raph questioned. He turned back around towards the hotel and groaned.

Of course Donnie wasn't going to listen to him.

Raph jumped down from the roof and followed his brother, stopping the genius before he could enter the building.

"What are you doing?" Raph asked.

"Getting answers," Donnie replied as he took Raph's hand off his shoulder.

"Don't tell me you're not a little curious."

"That doesn't mean we sneak around her hotel!" Raph shouted. "We'll get caught."

"Well, you can stay out here," Donnie said as he opened the doors. "But I'm going in."

Raph stared as he watched the softshell enter the building, groaning as his brother got out of sight.

"Why does he have to be so stubborn?" Raph asked out loud. "Even Leo isn't this crazy!"

Donnie snuck around the hotel as he tried to find out where Big Mama had gone, stopping outside of her office. He tried the door to see if it was locked, and he smiled once the door creaked open.

Big Mama wasn't in her office at the moment, so that gave the softshell plenty of time to see what she was up to.

"Alright, let's see what she's doing," he thought out loud.

He looked around her desk and saw that there was a box on the floor. It wasn't too big of a box, but it didn't look like it could hold much either.

There wasn't a lock on it, so Donnie decided to open it. He wasn't usually this curious of a turtle, but the suspense was killing him.

"Oh hello," he said with a smile as he saw the object inside. "What do we have here?"

He made sure no one was around and took the object as he stashed it away in his battle shell. He left the room as he found it, making it seem like no one was inside.

~~~~~

"What is taking him so long?" Raph sighed. He pulled out his phone as he dialed his brother's number just as Donnie came walking out of the hotel.

"Finally!" Raph yelled. "Did you find out what she was doing?"

"Kind of," Donnie answered. Raph felt as if Donnie's emotions had changed completely (and he could see the shimmer in the softshell's eyes), but he didn't pay it any mind.

"I found something."

"What was it?" Raph asked. His eyes went wide as Donnie pulled out the item.

"What the- DID YOU STEAL THAT?!" he questioned.

"I just did a bit of borrowing," Donnie waved his hand. "She won't notice it's gone."

"Why does she even have that?!" Raph asked. "No, better question: why do you have it?!"

"Chill out Raph," Donnie groaned. "Think of what we could do with this."

"It's a gun Donnie, a gun!!" Raph screamed. "We don't need it!"

"But our enemies would be gone so fast!" Donnie countered. Raph was beginning to get concerned for his brother; he never saw such vigor come from the softshell.

Maybe he’s been in the lab for too long… Raph thought.

"You have your techbo," Raph replied. "It can do so much as it is."

"But-"

"Donnie, you're not keeping it," Raph groaned. "You don't even know how to use it."

"How do you know?"

"Cause you've never used a gun before!" Raph raised his arms. "How many hints do you need?! Do you know what Splinter would say?"

Donnie grumbled as he looked in the other direction.

"Give me it," Raph stuck his hand out. Donnie hesitated, but he gave Raph the item.

"I'm gonna leave it here for Big Mama to find," Raph told his brother. "Jeez, I can't believe you actually wanted to keep it…"

Donnie looked at his brother and groaned.

"I thought it was cool," he answered.

"Yeah, no," Raph replied. "Now come on, we're going back to the lair. I regret forcing you out to begin with…"

Raph placed the gun down and walked in front of his brother, turning around when he didn't hear Donnie mumbling. 

The genius was currently eyeing the gun, and he looked like he was going to pick it up again.

"Now, Donnie!"

"Ok, ok!" Donnie shouted. "I'm coming."

He looked at the weapon once more before following his brother.

… Maybe he could make an attachment for his techbo.

"And I swear to pizza supreme if you make something for your techbo-"

"You're no fun, Raph!"

[randomkposts]

Hello

I figured I should start with wall of quotes. Cause whynot

Quotes “It's hard to hate my prep team. They're such total idiots." - Katniss.”

“Here's some advice. Stay alive.” “The cat that Prim got hates me, I think partly because I tried to drown it.” “District 12: Where you can starve to death in safety.”“No. Now, shut up and eat your pears."

” It's lovely. If only you could frost someone to death." "Don't be so superior. You can never tell what you will find in the arena. Say it's a gigantic cake-”“Yes, frosting. The final defense of the dying.”

“Technically, I am unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails can do. Especially if the target is unprepared.”

"Well, leprechauns. You know they're not real, don't you?""Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist and that I am not a gibbering moron."

"I majored in Ancient History. You have your own page in the 'Criminally Insane' section."

"Really, Butler, I must begin choosing my business associates more carefully. Hardly a day goes by when we aren't the victims of some plot.""The punching is not helping my concentration, by the way.""Oh, brilliant. I must write that one down in my witty retorts book."

"The pixie is crazy! Give me your gun, Holly. I'm going to shoot him.""Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?"

"This is a well. You might think that there is something to it... But in fact it is just an ordinary well."

Woman in Ur : Hey, where are you four brats off to now? What...? You're going to go save the world...? Did you get hit on the head or something!?

Gilgamesh : Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT IS MORPHING TIME! Galuf : Bartz! Stop that! Bartz : But it's fun! poke, poke, poke... Bartz : Jumping Christmas!

Edgar : "That's Shadow! He'd slit his mama's throat for a nickel!" Kefka : "This is sickening! You sound like chapters from a self-help booklet! Prepare yourselves!" Locke : "Hey! Call me a TREASURE HUNTER, or I'll rip your lungs out!" Edgar : "If something were to happen to me, all the world's women would grieve!" Setzer : "My life is a chip in your pile. Ante up."

Yuffie : So! I saved the great Vincent Valentine! Do I get any thanks?

Squall : Right and wrong are not what separate us and our enemies. It's our different standpoints, our perspectives that separate us. Both sides blame one another. There's no good or bad side. Just two sides holding different views. Squall : I dreamt I was a moron...

Seifer : Great, I have one chicken-wuss and one kid who just entered puberty in my team! Squall : ...Whatever.

Auron: The red carpet has teeth. Auron: Outside the dream world, life can be harsh, even cruel, but it is life.

Rikku: Memories are nice, but that's all they are.

Kimahri: Pick spot. Shut up. Wait.

Rikku: Do you think we need a password? Paine: How about 'Kick..it's..ass' Paine : The hardest person to know is one's self.

Raogrimm: People are capable of kindness beyond angels, yet we also commit sins that would put a demon to shame... Lonely Chocobo: Warkkkkk!!! Gweh!!!! Warkkkk

Naja Salaheem : (After Abquhbah faints when he realizes that he's speaking to the empress) Nothing to be concerned about, Your Magnificence. Mercenaries are trained to sleep anywhere, anytime if the opportunity presents itself.

Lightning: Worst birthday ever. Lightning: It's not a question of can or can't. There are some things in life you just do. Lightning: We live to make the impossible possible! That is our focus!

White Mage: Hi. I was just wondering if you knew how much we've suffered because of you. Good day. [after finding the Falcon Rydia : It's not yours. Edge : That's okay, it would be happy to be used by us!

...That's General Leo.. He could be my friend if he weren't my enemy.

You think a minor thing like the end of the world was gonna do me in?

"What a cute doggy!' "Leave us. The dog eats strangers...'

This should be fun. When do we leave?

Read my lips - mercy is for wimps! There's a reason "oppose" rhymes with "dispose"...If they get in your way, kill them!I don't care for the appearance of this pitiful little hamlet... So burn it!!

Figaro Guard : Kefka's "One shy of a six pack!" Imperial soldier : I oppose peace! Narshe resident : Narshe is a neutral city.! We want no war here, but that %#$@& Empire won't listen! South Figaro Resident : We may be thieves, but at least we have goals in life!

Cyan: This is the Phantom Train. It carries the departed to the other side. Sabin : Wait! I don't want to go THERE!

Strago: Go to your room! Relm : I will not! What a fussy old man! Strago : Relm! Is that you, my dear? You're alive! Relm : Idiot! Of course I'm alive! Strago : Oh, I'm so happy..." Relm : Did you think I was gonna check out before you, old man? Strago : You're as foul mouthed as ever, bless your heart!

Shadow: I know what friendship is... and family...

"It's not my problem."

"Don't fight here! You'll ruin the flowers!" "I think they believe I have what it takes to be in SOLDIER!" "Mine is special. It's good for absolutely nothing!"

Don't need no appointment... This is a 'mergency! Anyone who don't wanna get their face bashed in better git outta the way!! "I've got the wrong person."

W-wait a second. I won't run or hide. Yes, I was a spy. I was hired by the Shinra. I couldn't help it. How 'bout if we continue like nothing ever happened?

Shut up! Sit your ass down in that chair and DRINK YOUR GODDAMN TEA!

This's gonna be a big splash. Hold on to your drawers, an' don't piss in 'em!!

Maybe God'd forgive an ugly shit like you, but I won't!

I don't know what the hell it is, but it's falling from the sky. Hmpf! It's not even an omen.

Hey, do you know who I am? I'm Cid—that's who the hell I am! Now just let me handle it!

I don't want to regret not having done something later.

I always thought this planet was so huge. But lookin' at it from space, I realized it's so small. We're just floatin' in the dark. ...kinda makes you feel powerless. On top of that it's got Sephiroth festerin' inside it like a sickness. That's why I say this planet's still a kid. A little kid sick and trembling in the middle of this huge universe. Someone's gotta protect it. Ya follow me? That someone is us.

We're busy runnin' back and forth! Even my bikini goddess would be pantin' about now!

Oh, GAWD! If I knew this was gonna happen, I would've taken rope escape lessons more seriously!!

Escape from a world of illusions... Hmph... I wonder which is better.

I know you want my help because I'm so good!

Cloud, put me in your party, so I can get off this ship. Cloud...sign this. It's a contract that says when the war is over, all the materia will belong to me.

The stars shine so bright, like glowing materia... reach up and grab one. GROSSNESS! Don't mess with me old man! You don't even have any Materia!

Citizens, unite! Come to the light, Mako energy. Power is truth. Shinra is the future. Real happiness can be found in obedience to the company People are ignorant. They'll feel better as long as someone is punished.

Godo : Go! Survive till the end! And return! With the Materia! Doctor in Mideel : You can see for yourself what things look like, but at least no one was seriously hurt. We're just very unhappy now. Junon soldier : I'm learning to be a delinquent soldier!! I just can't seem to get the hang of it! Reeve Tuesti : What may be a few to you was everything to those who died...

Barret : She ain't gonna show up. 'Least this time she didn't steal our materia. Guess we gotta be thankful for that. Yuffie : How could you say that!? I came all the way here after being seasick as a dog! I didn't go through all that just to have you guys have the best parts all to yourselves!

...A speech? Forget it. Cut the mic!

You're-going-to-like-me! You're-going-to-like-me! Did it work?

D-Do you have any...hot dogs left?

...The HELL! Man...Now this is what I call boring. This ain't right, man!

YOOOO!!! The HELL you doin'!!!?

I'm a pretty lucky guy. Hand in hand with two beautiful girls.

That is sooo vague!

Super-Duper-Mega-Bummer!!

Well, Zell was riding his T-Board in the hallways of Garden. He made a sharp turn and went straight into the woman's res...

Sharpshooters are loners by nature... We hone our instincts, pour our whole being in a single bullet. The pressure of the moment... An instant of tension... That's what... I have to face alone...

Well, fine then! We WILL have a good time!

Thanks for the support, but I never miss my target.

Well, we could skin this little guy and wear him as a disguise...

I say things that get a rise out of some people. Just don't let it bother you and we'll get along fine.

Ooh neato! A hole in the middle of no-where!

You've all heard this before. How life has infinite possibilities. I don't believe that one bit. There weren't many paths for me to choose. Sometimes, there would only be one. From the limited possibilities I faced, the choices I made have brought me this far. That's why I value the path I chose... I want to hold true to the path that HAD to be taken.

Let's just fire like crazy and make a big hole, BOOM!

...Speeding. Let's go arrest that student for violation of academy regulations. Listen up! Teamwork means staying out of my way. It's a Squad B rule.

This is the scene where you swear your undying hatred for me!

And so, Laguna runs for dear life. She got upset and put fruit jam in your shoes. You were almost in tears!

Fujin: DISTURBING.RAGE!SHOCK!GOOD. CONVENIENT.PERSUASION, USELESS. SEIZE!IGNORE.RUN!ELLONE? NOT HERE.FATIGUE POSSE... We are. We always will be. Because we're a posse, we want to help you. Whatever it takes to fulfill your dream, we're willing to do. But... You're being manipulated, Seifer. You've lost yourself and your dream. You're just eating out of someone's hand. We want the old you back! Since we can't get through to you, all we have now to rely on is Squall! It's sad... Sad that we only have Squall to rely on... Seifer! Are you still gonna keep goin'?

Big Sister: I can't wait until I meet a guy that I can scream at and exchange blows with!

Quistis : You're the squad leader. Good luck to you. Seifer : ...Instructor. I hate it when people wish me luck. Save those words for a bad student who needs them, eh? Quistis : Alright, then. Good luck, Seifer. Seifer : [to Fujin and Raijin] Add Instructor Trepe to the list. Zone : Our plan is to...Selphie : ...Blow it to smithereens with a rocket launcher!? Zone : [taken aback] ...Ahh...not quite... Rinoa : Oh, shut up! I made it like that on purpose. It represents my hatred towards Deling. Zell : Hatred, eh? Yeah...right. Selphie : It's one of the...ugliest things that I've ever seen in my life. You must really hate him.

You don't need a reason to help people.No cloud, nor squall shall hinder us!Piece of cake. I'm an escape artist.

In the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... but that's the way things are. The choice is yours.

SON OF A SHOOPUFF!

Al Bhed is Al Bhed. Rikku is Rikku. Rikku swore to protect Yuna. And Rikku is not a liar. Kimahri can tell. So, she is a friend.

Why are you still here, sir? (pause as Auron looks at him) I beg your pardon. We Guado are keen to the scent of the Farplane.

Rikku : Did you...hit your head or something? Tidus : Um, you guys hit me. Rikku : Oh, right...do you remember anything before that?

Sometimes, when I got a lot on my mind, it just helps to go, "AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Once Lady Yuna fixes her hair, we leave." "Guard your emotions first, then guard your summoner." "Ha! Legendary guardian? I was just a boy. A boy about your age actually. I wanted to change the world too, but I changed nothing. That is my story." "Don't look to others for knowledge. This is your story."

Don't think it's just a game. Your life's on the line. "You. It's what's for dinner." You. Are. Hired."

Barkeep : Mish Yoona, what can I do for yoo?

Yuna : Duck Soup! Paine : Duck what?

Rikku : I'm gonna kick you in the spleen! Paine : Spleen?

Lightning : (to soldier).Nice gun. Noctis : Goodbye, whoever you are.

You sure are a keen observer of the obvious, kupo!

And I know some "little girls" who can kick your butt!

"You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush."

Rachel: They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb. Annabeth: Was it hard?"

"Love conquers all," Aphrodite promised. "Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?""Didn't they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?" "Pfft. That's not the point. Follow your heart."'

“Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades." "The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?"

Rachel: You're a half-blood, too? Annabeth: Shhh! Just announce it to the world, how about? Rachel: Okay. Hey, everybody! These two aren't human! They're half Greek god! . . . They don't seem to care."-

"What I did next was so impulsive and dangerous I should’ve been named ADHD poster child of the year."

“You're a stalker with hooves." "I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing.”

Well, we kind of tried to kill each other in a duel to the death." "I see. You tried the diplomatic approach.”

"Well, Percy, what have we learned today?""That three-headed dogs prefer red rubber balls over sticks?""No," "We've learned that your plans really, really bite!”

"Dude!" said a party pony as he unloaded his gear. Did you see that bear guy? He was all like: 'Whoa, I have an arrow in my mouth!”

“Boys are usually forbidden to have any contact with the Hunters. The last one to see this camp…” She looked at Zoe. “Which one was it?”"That boy in Colorado,” Zoe said. “You turned him into a jackalope.”Ah, yes.” Artemis nodded, satisfied. “I enjoy making jackalopes…”

“Christmas in the Underworld was NOT my idea. If I'd known what was coming, I would've called in sick. I could've avoided an army of demons, a fight with a Titan, and a trick that almost got my friends and me cast into eternal darkness. But no, I had to take my stupid English exam.”

“Meat!" he said scornfully. "I'm a vegetarian." "You eat cheese enchiladas and aluminum cans," I reminded him."Those are vegetables.”

"How about this: stealing is not always bad?""I don't think my mom would like that moral."

I thought about the lines Rachel had spoken in that creepy voice: about storm and fire and the Doors of Death. "Maybe," I said, "but it didn't sound so good.""No," said Apollo cheerfully. "It certainly didn't. She's going to make a wonderful Oracle!”

"My son here convinced me that perhaps I should prioritize my list of enemies." He glanced at me with distaste. "As much as I dislike certain upstart demigods, it would not do for Olympus to fall. I would miss bickering with my siblings. And if there is one thing we agree on - it is that you were a TERRIBLE father.”

Running with a drowsy child of Hades was more like doing a 3 -legged race with a life size rag doll.”

“Yay!' he said. 'Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!”

“You know how teachers tell you the magic word is 'please'? That's not true. The magic word is 'puke'. It will get you out of class faster than anything else.”

" He tossed me a jar of thick green liquid—Greek fire, one of the most dangerous magical substances in the world. Then he threw me another essential tool of demigod heroes—duct tape”

“Juniper: Are you guys busy? Percy: Well, we’re in the middle of this game against a bunch of monsters and we’re trying not to die. Annabeth: We’re not busy. ”

Though "peanut butter" is a strange battle cry. It shall be as you say. But my son, pray this works."I am praying. I'm talking to you, right?"Oh . . . yes. Good point.”

“Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?""Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom." "I do not understand.""I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said."And…" Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam T-shirt."

"with great power... comes great need to take a nap"

“Oh no." I said panic rising in my chest. "No, no, no, Somebody get a can opener. I've got a god in my head!!”“Well," I said. "If you need me, I'll be outside, playing with sharp objects.”

“Fairness means everyone gets what they need. And the only way to get what you need is to make it happen yourself.”

“I guessed his name was Face of Horror. I wondered how long it had taken his mom to think of that. Bob? No. Sam? No. How about Face of Horror?”

“Now the tattoos," Zia announced."Brilliant!" I said."On your tongue," she added."Excuse me?”

“I just love family meetings. Very cozy, with the Christmas garlands round the fireplace and a nice pot of tea and a detective from Scotland Yard ready to arrest you.”

“Carter Kane, 14, died tragically in Paris when he was eaten by his sister’s cat Muffin.”

“There will be guards,” Bast said. “And traps. And alarms. You can bet the house is heavily charmed to keep out gods.” “Magicians can do that?” I asked. I imagined a big can of pesticide labeled God-Away.”

“I believe you, Sadie.""Oh really. I'm holding the bloody feather of truth, and you believe me. Well, thanks.”

I guess it started in London, the night our dad blew up the British museum.”

“The baboon is driving,” I noted. “Should I be worried?”

“Thank Ra!” She exclaimed. “Yeah, I’m alive.” “No, I almost jumped in after you. I hate the water!”

“Why did adults have to be so thick? They always say “tell the truth,” and when you do, they don’t believe you. What’s the point?”

“I must admit I’m impressed, Sadie. You controlled your magic and controlled Isis. And you, Carter, did well turning into a lizard.”

“That’s Narmer with the spoon,” I guessed. “Angry because the other bloke stole his breakfast cereal?”

“Most of Set’s forces were running towards our boat, screaming and throwing rocks (which tended to fall down and hit them, but no one says demons are bright).

"Great another mystery. I was about to suggest we ram Amos’s head against it and see if that worked.”

The stuff was so thick and rough, it made me wonder if the poor Egyptians had had to use toilet papyrus. If so, no wonder they walked sideways.”

“I looked back, but Bast and Sadie seemed fine. They were still staring at the water as if it were some amazing Internet video.”

. Why would someone display a rock? Aren't there enough of those in the world?”

“Dejardins was so stunned, he momentarily forgot how to speak English. "Ce n'est pas possible. On ne pourrait pas-”