whateveruwantto

[aklaustaleteller]

Could you make an imagine where Klaus Mikaelson is the father figure to the reader despite not being her real dad? And her birth father came back trying to take her but Klaus wouldn’t stand for it and wouldn’t let him take the reader?

Home

Klaus had just been taking a stroll through the woods when he finds himself walking towards the sounds of a beta's broken sobs. Seeing the little abandoned wolf, Klaus takes her home with him, hoping that he'd be able to become her safe place -- which he very successfully does. But what happens when Y/n's biological father returns after ages in hopes of getting her back?

Warnings - None really, other than the fact that it's quite sad (but with happy outcomes I promise <3) Word Count - 4.0k

I'm so so so sorry for my absence the past whole week but hey, this is quite literally a 4k worded fic! So hopefully that makes up for it? (Also, thank you for the request, lovely anon. Please do tell me if you like it!!)

Also! I took the idea of Y/n's wolf being a little out of control from this very very amazing fic written by the truly talented @klausysworld Please do give the fic a read, if you haven't already that is, hahah <3

Klaus had been taking a stroll through the woods, his feet carrying him just about anywhere while his mind sped through thoughts a million miles an hour. He made plans, then backed them up with another one, and then made another one, just in case. And he'd just lifted his leg to cross over a fallen tree when his body came to an unnatural halt.

He was never caught off guard, but right now, as he heard hushed sobs and a heart that was beating in a painfully broken rhythm, he couldn't help but gently continue his stroll – in a particular direction with an aim, this time.

His head tilted as he neared the source of the sound, his nose picking up on a beta scent. It had been way too long since he had come across a beta, his major interactions occurring with either other Alphas or Omegas, or Vampires. As well as some other species that rather got on his nerves, such as the witches. It intrigued him.

From quite afar, his eyes finally caught sight of a rather small frame crouched against the rough bark of a tree, a jerk shaking their body every time their back accidently met with it, followed by another painful but gritted howl.

But what made Klaus' frown deepen even further, was the sight of wolf ears growing from the person's head. He felt as though his eyes were deceiving him; he had never come across something like this and if he wasn't mistaken, he was pretty sure that this was just an untrained little wolf -- or perhaps it was the strangeness making him think that there couldn't possibly be another mythical creature that was actually all too real.

So, he walked closer, his head a little ducked and shoulders bunched up on either side of his neck as he tried not to make any sound as that would surely startle the ...child, he realised.

The little frame, sobbing into their hands with their knees bunched up against their torso, belonged to a child. A werewolf child who was beginning to lose control of their wolf, and just then Klaus noticed a tail curling up against the little one's back in order to provide comfort.

He flinched when some wood broke unde his step, alerting the little girl and his heart cracked like a drought-stricken land when she jerked and looked up at him with eyes so big, full of fear swarming them and so much sadness that he could drown in it and not be found.

She immediately backed up into the tree, hissing sharply when her back met the unruly surface but not once did her eyes move away from him. Her lips trembled, a fat tear rolling down her cheek against her will and Klaus noted that the girl could not be older than a decade.

Taking another step towards her, Klaus froze when her wolf ears went back in, and a sob broke out of her mouth.

"Please, sir! I will do whatever you ask of me, but please don't hurt me," she shouted at him, fully breaking down into heart wrenching sobs as she tried to get up on wobbly legs but fell to the ground right away due to the tremor coursing through her body.

Tears blurred his vision for a second before he took the final step toward her which brought him close enough to sit on his knees beside her and rest his hand on her head.

"It's alright, little wolf. I'm not here to harm you," Klaus whispered, feeling her body falling into shambles under his touch. But when she looked up at him with uncertainty in her eyes, he couldn't help but pass her a reassuring smile.

"You are safe with me, sweetheart," he said, now weaving his hand across her forehead to brush away the hair that stuck to it. "Yes?" He asked her with a soft nod, bringing her closer to his chest when she too, nodded. Her eyes were still uncertain but he could tell that it won't take long for her to let go.

This was a child, full of enough naivety to trust a stranger and Klaus was more than glad that he’d found her before someone else could’ve. And maybe his Alpha scent provided her with the extra comfort that she most likely needed, but Klaus wasn’t complaining.

So he rested his back against the tree this time and let her sit in his lap, his arms around her in a way that cocooned her away from whatever that had pained her so terribly, and ready to protect her from anything that came her way with poisonous intentions.

His heart clenched inside his chest when the little girl curled up against him, finally letting the sobs rake through her body and for all the sadness to cause havoc inside her little heart before it left her alone for good.

And for some reason, Klaus just knew to avoid her back. It was clear that she was hurt over there somehow, making him rub his hand up and down her arm instead, and rock the two of them side to side for a little bit. Slowly and slowly, her wails turned into softer sobs and then finally, Klaus heard her heartbeat go back to a normal pace again.

He looked down to see if she'd cried it all out, wanting her to tell him about the culprit who had hurt her like this but when he found that she had slipped into a deep, peaceful slumber, he didn't even think once before carrying her home with him, covering her up under his duvet while he sat on the sofa across the bed, looking at her and telling himself that there was no way he was going to be able to let her go.

He just felt something between them, something that brought them closer in a way he had never experienced before. He felt like he was supposed to love her, care for her, teach her all about the world and show her the wonders. He felt like taking her responsibility, giving her his last name and raising her protected from the world.

Perhaps it was because he, somewhere, saw his inner child in her. The child that so helplessly begged for just some love from his father and got the horrifying abuse instead. 

Klaus wanted to take her under his wing and be there for her while she grew up. He wanted this very clearly abandoned little wolf to call him her father, and his brothers her uncles and his sisters her aunts.

He couldn't sleep all night, fearing that she'd wake up and ask for her actual parents. And he knew he'd take her back in an instant if she wanted to, but it would tear him apart into uncountable and unrecognisable shreds.

And so, he waited all night for her to wake up and hopefully deny him when he'd ask her if she wanted to go back home. And Klaus would go to hell and back to build her a home; to become her home.  

But despite his stubborn decision to stay up and look after her, Klaus awoke to something soft and comforting touching his whatever exposed skin. And as he cracked open his eyes, the sunlight was already pouring inside his room and one of his blankets was draped over him. And he knew it hadn’t been on him for long as he had felt it sliding across his frame, and yet he couldn’t catch sight of the carer. 

That was, until he began getting up and he looked down to find the little girl, sitting beside his feet and looking up at him with doe eyes full of ...joy. He noted that the girl was happy to see that he was finally awake, her heartbeat picking up just a little as a smile slid on her mouth. 

“Thank you, Alpha,” the girl mumbled shyly, placing her hands on his knees while she began standing up. And Klaus’ arms instantly went ahead in order to prevent her from falling but she didn’t stumble once, reminding him that she probably had werewolf healing powers that performed with a slight delay due to her young age. 

Klaus opened his mouth to say something but when the girl warily wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on the very tip of her toes to do so, he found himself caught off guard, once again. But regardless, he hugged her back rather tightly, lifting her off the ground and bringing her on the sofa. 

“Are you okay now, little wolf? Does it still hurt?” Klaus asked her, one of his hands cupping her face while the other cradled her. And his heart swooned when she curled up on him just like the night prior, but this time only soft breaths passed through her mouth. 

“The wounds have healed, Alpha,” she mumbled, almost hiding her face by tucking it away in his chest. “But my heart still hurts, I think,” her voice wavered as she confessed, now clenching his henley in her fist due to the unease it brought to her.

“Oh, little wolf,” Klaus sighed, his eyebrows turned into an upside down frown as he looked upon her with pity. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” He whispered, cautious so she wouldn’t shut him off, even though she was too young to know of such a thing.

“My father, he – he kicked me out of the pack yesterday,” she told him with a quivering voice, tears beginning to pool in her eyes once again. “He told me – he said that he doesn’t love me… that – that he never has!” She cried out, a sob aching her throat and wrapping itself around it so tightly that it was almost beginning to choke her. 

“He said he doesn’t love me,” she repeated, her body now shaking in Klaus arms as his heart crumpled inside his chest as he noted just how much she cared and felt, and that she was having to relive it again right now. 

“Why did he kick you out, darling?” Klaus asked, wanting to end her misery and just a one line answer would be enough for him to go over and slaughter the entire pack.

“He wanted me to learn how to handle the pack once he wouldn’t be there anymore, how – how to be an Alpha,” she told him, tears flowing out of her eyes that had now grown bloodshot red. 

And just then, her ears popped out of her head once again, and Klaus couldn’t help but pet the welted ears in order to help her calm down. 

“But I didn’t want to! I – I don’t want to take charge after him!” She told Klaus, this time her voice changed its tone to be more convincing and desperate. She sat upright, trying to show Klaus just how much she’d rather work behind the scenes than take the lead officially.

“It’s okay, little wolf – you won’t have to anymore,” Klaus reassured the girl, weaving his fingers through her hair and pressing a kiss on her forehead. “You’ll be here with me, safe and sound, and I will love you, sweetheart,” he whispered, looking into her eys with the purest sincerity.

“I truly love you, little wolf,” Klaus said softly at recieving a questioning look from her, asking if he honestly meant what he was saying. “And I will always show you love.”

She brightened up at that, the shine of a couple stars returning to her eyes as she got up, but then saddened again. “But what about home?” She asked, her tears beginning to dry up on her cheeks as she wiped them away. 

“Do you wish to go home?”

“No,” she trailed off, looking away from his eyes as if guilty, causing Klasu to cup her cheeks and turn her back to face him. 

“Then I’ll be your home, little wolf,” he smiled at her. “Yes?” 

The girl nodded, quickly leaning in to press a kiss on his dimpled cheek. 

“What’s your name, darling?” 

“Y/n, Alpha,” she answered him, and Klaus wanted more than anything for her to call him her father or dad, but knew that he should give her some time. 

“Lovely,” he grinned, taking her in his arms and getting up to let her in the shower and then introduce her to the rest of the Mikaelsons. 

And it wasn’t long before Klaus found himself officially adopting Y/n, making her  a Mikaelson and his heart had swollen inside his ribs when she’d so shyly asked him if she could finally call him her father. 

Over the first couple months only Klaus noticed that her gentle and empathetic nature valued deep and personal connections with people over power and attention. He also learned that the reason she hid her high intelligence and outstandingness in whatever field she chose, was because that was simply ingrained in her beta personality. 

So, gradually, books all about betas began to fill shelves in their library quarter of the house. 

“Father!” Came in a shrieking voice, followed by his ears picking up on a rapid heartbeat and he was out of the bed in an instant, checking her over to see if she was hurt and he only shook his head when he found that Kol had just been chasing her around the house, early in the morning to keep her interest while Freya made breakfast for her. 

“Good morning, little wolf,” Klaus grinned, picking her up off the ground and spinning with her in his hold, pressing as many kisses as he could all over her face as she pressed her palm against his face to keep his stubble away.

Loud giggles and squeaks echoed throughout the mansion as Klaus brought her back to bed with him, letting her lay on top of him.

It quite hurt him that she was too tall to curl up on him now, but it still felt good when her heart pressed up against his despite the many layers of bones and skin and clothing keeping them apart. 

“Uncle Kol was chasing me with his vampire speed! Tell him that that’s not fair!” She whined, looking pointedly at Kol who was shaking his head at the door. 

“You’re a wolf, little one,” Klaus began, pulling her attention back on him. “You can outrun anyone,” he smiled. 

Y/n contemplated that for a second before she moved to sit upright beside him with a pout on her mouth. “Anyone but you, father.”

Klaus laughed at that, tackling her back into bed. “You do not wish to outrun me, now do you, little wolf?” He asked her, getting out of bed and letting her cling to him on his chest as he went downstairs. He knew that as a wolf, she preferred to nuzzle anywhere she found warmth, and that his chest was one of her favourite places. 

Sitting her down on the chair next to him, Klaus let her eat her food by herself. Sure, the honey did drizzle down her chin once but he didn’t mind, instantly cleaning it up with his thumb before it could’ve slipped down any further. 

Elijah asked her questions about the storybook he had bought her a couple days prior, Rebekah asked her if the girl wanted to help her aunt pick out a dress, Kol warned her against it by threatening to chase her and Freya smacked all of them on the back of their heads, telling them off to let you eat.

“Father, are you free to paint with me after this?” Y/n asked, looking at him with eyes that had truly unintentionally turned similar to a little puppy’s. 

Klaus finished his food, noting another thing that her shyness had truly dissipated into thin air. And all that it had left behind was politeness and some convincing eyes that could get the devil to let go of a deal.

“Of course, Y/n,” he smiled, getting up and grinning when she trotted behind him happily with her own empty plate in her hand. He watched as she put it in the sink and washed her hands and mouth, letting her chug down her orange juice for once as he wiped his own mouth. 

Once again, she followed him back inside his studio like a lost puppy. Klaus came back out with the heavier and the majority of supplies in his hands while Y/n skipped behind him with the paints and the brushes in hers.

Walking into the front yard, Klaus set down all of their stuff and sat himself in front of her, chuckling when he noticed that she’d already begun twirling her brush around on her canvas, not a single thought in her mind as she let out anything that flashed in front of her eyes, onto the paper. 

Klaus on the other hand, decided to make a painting of colours chosen from her hair. Every colour he saw in the midst of her hair strands, he put it on his canvas, slowly and slowly morphing into a tree’s bark.

And when he checked upon her canvas to see where her painting was going, he felt his dimples dig inside his cheeks at the sight of every and any shade of green that she could find – perhaps in his eyes, Klaus realized when she raised her head to look into his eyes and went back to working. 

Almost all of his days went like this, waking up to her running into his room after having had a shower, holding her in his arms for a little then taking her down for breakfast, where she would convince him to paint with her for a little.

After that he’d let her go off with Eilajh to read and learn some other things by Freya that she probably needed to learn. He would be out of the mansion during that, out to mind his business and kill his own minions because of their brave stupidity. 

When he’d return to the mansion, Y/n would sleepily trod out of her bed and into his arms, let him pick her up and take her to bed where he’d just hold her and tell her how much he loved her, because someone had probably already read her a story or two. 

Some nights she would wake up crying from a nightmare about her biological father, and then she would find herself running into Klaus’ arms which were already open, having heard her rushed footsteps and broken sobs. 

Her wolf ears no longer popped out since Klaus had spent an insurmountable time helping her take her wolf under her control, but every once in a while, depending upon how bad the nightmare was, her tail would creep out of her shirt and curl itself either around Klaus’ arms or her own back, which Klaus didn’t object at seeing that she only did this when she was crying in his arms.

But once they’d finish painting, Y/n would run into the house with her and Klaus’ painting to show them off to her uncles and aunts, leaving Klaus behind to clean up the mess. But he didn’t mind it one bit, only laughing when she’d come back looking guilty and saying that she was sorry that she’d once again forgotten to help him clean up in her excitement. 

And that’s exactly what had happened just now. 

“It’s okay little wolf,” Klaus assured her. “You know I don’t mind it,” he said and let her hug him to show him just how bad she felt.

He rubbed her back, and got up with her hand in his, looking down at the back of her head and smiling as she led their way back inside. 

“Wait father!” She paused her walking. “Look, the weather has taken a turn,” she stated, pointing at the sky in which angry clouds had begun swirling, the fluffy white ones long gone. 

“Does that mean it’s reading time?” 

“Yes!” The girl shrieked, jumping up and down, making Klaus laugh as she ran off to meet up with Elijah. 

He caught himself grinning long after she had left his line of sight and shook his head, a smile still pasted on his mouth as he turned around to rule over the so-called supernatural adults whom even Y/n was smarter than. 

“I see you’ve taken a liking to playing her father, Niklaus,” a rough voice said from behind, and while it hadn’t caught Klaus off guard, what had was the fact that this man was brave and dumb enough to step a foot in such close proximity to him. 

Surely, he must have come with a death wish. 

“Roman,” Klaus said out loud the name of Y/n’s biological father, his voice full of venom and he could’ve spat at the man in front of him. “I see you’re feeling daring today, perhaps even like dying?” He proposed, taking a threatening step towards the man. 

Klaus had, the very next night of when he’d found Y/n, went on to slaughter Roman’s entire pack. He had let the man live since he wanted him to see and live through his own daughter's hatred towards him. So much hatred that she didn’t even look his way anymore, let alone call him her father.

“Let’s not get this messy, Niklaus,” Roman started but before he could’ve finished, Klaus had him pinned against the very door frame he was leaning so cockily on. 

“I’m not your friend, Roman,” he gritted through his teeth, knowing that he didn’t need to clarify any further as to what he meant by that. 

“Sir,” Roman started, stretching his neck. “I want my daughter back,” he said.

Red flashed in front of Klaus’ eyes as he sped towards Roman, tearing through his flesh and ribs to clench his heart in his fist. “I would’ve been a fan of such bravery had you not made the mistake of calling her your daughter when she fucking refuses to even recognise you,” Klaus finally spat at him, his grip on his heart so tight that it could burst due to the pressure. 

“I will rip your heart out and shove it down your throat if you dare once again to call my daughter, yours, or call your lame excuse of a self, her father,” he said, pulling on his heart lightly. “She is mine, and I love her and this is her home now.”

“I am her home,” he gritted his teeth so hard that they could’ve shattered. 

Roman’s frame was beginning to get blue, knocking the realisation into Klaus that his hold on his heart was so hard that it was struggling to beat. “Go to the opposite side of the world and never look back here again,” Klaus compelled him, finally taking his hand back out of his chest. 

“Now off you go,” he said, maybe shooed. “I am sure you know that a wolf bite can only be cured by my blood,” he hissed venomously, his eyes shining golden as vampire streaks drew themselves through his skin.

And once Roman had finally sped out, Klaus let out a breath and his heart to rest again, his hands trembling at the thought of what could’ve happened right now had he not been who he truly is. 

Rushing into his room to clean himself off, Klaus rushed back out to Y/n who was currently sitting in front of Elijah. 

“Little wolf!” Klaus called for her as he stood at the doorway of the room, his vision getting blurry when she came running to him with the biggest smile on her face. 

“Yes father? Missed me, didn’t you?” She giggled teasingly, wrapping her arms around him and Klaus couldn’t help but nuzzle in the nape of her neck, holding her tightly against him as he kneeled on the floor and felt a tear slip past the slit of his eyes. 

“I love you, my little wolf,” he said, whimpering. 

“Oh, I love you too, father,” she sighed, resting her head against his shoulder. “You should know that I’ll always be your little wolf.”

“Forever and always, my precious” Klaus breathed, pressing a chaste kiss on her cheek before resting his forehead against it for a moment, breathing in her scent and reminding himself that she’d also become his home now. 

[perlelune]

Training Wheels | Coriolanus Snow | ii.

Your mother's macabre work never appealed to you as you always preferred the comfort of your books, but when her apprentice takes a special interest in you, your safe, quiet world is flipped upside down.

Warnings: DUB-CON, NON-CON, Gaul!Reader, Shy Reader, Manipulation, Parental Neglect, Drinking, Peer Pressure, Hazing, University set, Loss of Virginity, Dumbification, Insecurities, Abusive Relationship, Degradation, Suicide Attempt

This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.

𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙

The clock catches your eye the second your ethics class ends. You pick up your things and make your way to the exit. It’s lunch time. You can’t erase the conversation you had with Coriolanus from your mind. His eyes, his smile, his smell, his voice…everything about him makes your head a little cloudy. Boys have never been your concern before, especially because of Mother. It’s not that she ever forbade you to date, experiment. It was more of a silent understanding, a quiet agreement. There are more important things than boys in this world. Like science, or rebuilding the world after the war. Mother herself has only one love. Her research. So you always supposed it is your duty to aim to be the same way. Therefore, while everyone around you talked about crushes and first kisses and…other things since middle school, you’ve kept your head in your books.

It’s not like you never noticed how pretty some of the boys at the Academy were. Boys like…Coriolanus Snow. It just always felt forbidden. As Volumnia Gaul’s daughter, you had to be above it all.

Hence your predicament. What does someone like Coriolanus Snow want from you?

The question keeps swirling inside your head as you approach the cafeteria. His attention never swayed in your direction before. Towards girls like Persephone, Clemensia or Livia, perhaps. But you? The very idea is ludicrous.

You make a stop near the lunch room’s door. It’s already brimming with students. Animated chatter fills the cafeteria and you dourly note the groups that have formed. Even Lysistrata, the infamous loner, has found her tribe with the likes of Io Jasper, Persephone Price and some red-haired boy you don’t know. A few months have already passed. You should have found a crowd by now, a group of like-minded people that’d tolerate your presence. But every time you approach someone, you get tongue-tied and your mind blanks. How does one even strike up a conversation out of the blue? It still stuns you that Coriolanus spoke to you with such ease. Though you surmise the Snow heir is comfortable with people in a way you’ll never be.

Your gaze travels to his table. Coriolanus and his friends. They seem absorbed by an intense conversation, Festus waving his arms while Clemensia shakes her head in apparent disbelief. 

You shift the books between your arms. Feet rooted to the floor, you struggle to move. You watch the exchange, pondering how to weave your way through the cafeteria without drawing too much attention to yourself. 

As you contemplate your next move, blue eyes find yours across the cafeteria. Coriolanus’ lips curve upwards. Your pulse soars. The rest of the table seems to note your presence. Clemensia places a hand in front of her mouth and laughs. Then the rest of them, bar Coriolanus, begin to laugh as well. 

Your chest clutches, fire creeping inside your cheeks. They must be laughing at you. Of course. It’s the only explanation that makes sense. This was a stupid idea. Stepping back, you dash through the hallways. The library will be a more appropriate spot for your lunch break, as it often is. Quieter. Less crowded. Safe and familiar. The wooden rows brimming with books are your shield against the noise and chaos of the world outside.

It’s where you belong anyway. Besides, you still have your notes of the morning to peruse and memorize. You can’t afford to fall behind.

The rest of the week transforms you into a nervous wreck. After you fail to show up for lunch, Coriolanus’ unnerving cobalt stare appears to follow you everywhere. Whether it’s in the lecture hall, the hallways or even the library, your safe haven, the Snow heir’s presence always lingers near. Still, you try to resume your usual routine, both at the Capitol University and the Citadel.

Tasks are never amiss in Mother’s lab. Between the mutts to feed, filing the archives and cleaning the subjects’ glass cases, something always requires your attention anyway. All the important jobs aren’t yours to have. Just menial tasks. It’s all Mother said you can manage anyways. Back when you were little, your mother paid sporadic attention to you. She’d spend time with you, show you the specimens, talk about her work. However she quickly lost interest in you once she realized your lack of ambition, intellect and inclination for casual cruelty. For a fleeting stretch of time, you know your mother harbored hope that you could succeed her, continue her research, complete her breakthroughs. Those hopes are now forever buried, along with any sliver of expectation Mother had for your future.

You couldn’t stomach the thought of her experimenting on live creatures and kept asking if they were in pain, or if they missed their family, if once she was done, she would send them back home. Mother grew annoyed by it. To this day, you feel she still holds that against you.

Once your work for the evening is done, you take a rare break in one of the empty offices. While you’re aware it’d be best to go over your flash cards for the upcoming exams, the motivation to do it isn’t with you today. The entire week all you’ve done is study, burning the midnight oil at both the University library and home. A break would be welcome. You’re craving it in fact.

So instead of your study books, you collect a novel from your leather satchel. Heart fluttering in anticipation, your fingers sweep over the cover. This one details the forbidden tryst between a prince and a castle maid. Your cheeks warm as you land on the scene you didn’t get to finish last time. 

As you sink into the story, oblivious to the world around you, you don’t hear the soft steps circling closer to you. 

Warm air fans over your shoulder as a deep voice erupts from behind you.

“I didn’t realize smutty romance novels were on the curriculum.”

Astonishment plucks a gasp from you. The swivel chair spins as you bolt to your feet, the book in your hands dropping to the floor with a heavy thud. Your eyes widen as Coriolanus’ towering frame invades your line of sight.

He slowly crouches to pick up your novel. As he gives it a quick once over, flipping through the yellowed pages, a smile blooms on his lips. 

“These are smuggled from the Districts, aren’t they?” he inquires, a hint of disdain coating his utterance of the word ‘district’. Embarrassment flushes through you as Coriolanus’ gaze roams across the pages. “Interesting choice.” His eyes rise to meet yours. Your heart misses a beat. “Does Dr. Gaul approve?”

“N-Not really,” you confess with a small voice, fiddling with the cuff of your lab coat. 

His smirk broadens at that.

The blond causes you to leap back as he snaps your book shut. 

“I was expecting you at lunch the other day,” he says, edging closer to you. 

Your mouth dries. “I was busy.”

Coriolanus’ brow quirks.

“Too busy for lunch with me?”

“It wasn’t just you.”

He pauses, searching your face. His silent scrutiny makes your nerves thrum. You freeze in your spot, hands squeezing the edge of the desk behind you. 

After an eternity goes by, he states gently, “We weren’t laughing at you.”

Your jaw hangs slack. You feel self-conscious as his keen blue eyes hold yours, peeling the layers of you. 

He heaves out a long sigh. 

“Festus just said something stupid and Clemmie happened to look in your direction. I’m sorry you thought that.”

“I didn’t think anything,” you mumble, shrugging.

His face pinches ever-so-slightly.

“Yes.” He gets even closer, chest almost brushing yours. Your stomach tightens. “Yes, you did,” he articulates. “So I’m making sure you know. No one was laughing at you that day. And Clemmie wouldn't do that. She’s the nicest girl I know.”

You study Coriolanus, struck by the sincerity laced in his tone. You aren’t used to anyone considering your feelings. Besides, you don’t find it in you to argue, remembering Clemensia’s kindness on multiple occasions at the Academy. She is also one of the few wealthy students who never picked on the departed Sejanus Plinth for his roots in District Two, even defending him from Arachne’s cruelty on one occasion. Relief flows inside your chest. So you weren’t the reason behind their laughter that day. It feels strangely good, knowing that, especially coming from Coriolanus himself. 

He cocks his head and scoffs, “We aren’t at the Academy anymore. Why would we do something this childish? That’s silly.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s a little silly,” you mechanically reply, something about his definitive tone making you feel dumb for even letting your mind wander there. You give a shaky nod. “Thank you.”

He hums as if he were lost in thought. His fingers then slide below your chin, startling you.

“You don’t have to lie to me, you know?”

Confusion has you blinking rapidly.

“I’m sorry?” 

His digits latch around your jaw, his features disturbingly still.

“Just then, you lied,” he notes. “About it not bothering you. You don’t need to do that with me.” He pauses, tracing the curve of your bottom lip. “Besides, between you and I, you’re very bad at it.”

An anxious chuckle peals from your lips.

“What’s so funny?” he asks, curiosity evident on his features. 

A hollow smile tugs your lips.

“It’s just that Mother says the same thing, that I’m a horrible liar.” It’s just one of the myriad of things you’ve always failed at. Fooling others and pretending. 

Wars are won with heads, not hearts.

Coriolanus places his hand besides you on the desk, looming over you in a way that has your pulse quicken. You grow dizzy as his scent coats the air.

“You know…Clemmie and the girls were looking forward to meeting you,” he intones. 

Disbelief fills you. “T-They were?”

“You’ve been so discreet during our Academy days. Everyone was just curious, that's all.” His feathery lashes sag, caressing his cheekbones. “About what you were like.”

“Oh.”

“Well, you’re a bit of an enigma, angel. The daughter of the Head Gamemaker who never talks to anyone. That makes people wonder.”

“I’m not that interesting.”

Coriolanus takes a long minute to drink you in. Your skin tingles with his intense focus. Somehow in the dim light of the office, his blue eyes seem to come alight with a strange glint.

“I disagree,” he slowly states. “I think you’re very interesting.”

You lick your lips. “I’m really not.”

Your only answer is that cryptic smile he likes to wear. 

“So…you still owe me lunch.” He slants his head. “We can go together if you like.”

“Together?”

“Yes. You don’t have to feel scared if I’m with you.”

When you bow your head, hesitation lingering within you, he tilts your chin up. 

“No one would dare make fun of you if I’m around. Trust me, angel.”

There’s an unfaltering certainty cinching his tone, as if repercussions were sure to befall whoever questions him.

Your forehead creases. 

“You don’t have to do that, you know.”

“What?” he asks, his dark brows knitting.

“All of…that.” You turn away from him, reflexively gripping your forearm. “I-I’m fine on my own. Always have been.”

Surprise floods your insides when no snappy reply pours from his lips. Instead of answering, the blond leans away from you and releases your chin. He observes you as you remain still. You can’t help trying to figure out what thoughts bounce through his head. He must think you’re an idiot, isolating yourself like that, missing out on everything the world has to offer. If only he knew. There is no space for you in the world. Nowhere for you to fit.  As Coriolanus heads for the door, the tension in your body melts a bit.

“I’ll see you in class,” he announces after several harrowing minutes of silence. 

As he makes to leave, you’re hit with the realization that he still has your book in his hand. 

“Coriolanus?” you call. He stops in his tracks, head pivoting towards you. “My book…”

This draws a subtle smile from him. Coriolanus makes no move to return your novel, turning his back to you as if you hadn’t called him out. 

Mouth agape, you watch him take his leave without another word.

The next day, you think yourself free of Coriolanus Snow’s peculiar scrutiny. Right after the morning classes end, you head to the library. You are determined to enjoy a peaceful lunch break, have a few unenthusiastic bites of the stale sandwich you packed this morning and maybe get a head start on your molecular cell biology courses. Another topic that has you drowning in class, that you’ll need twice as much work to pass.

Naturally, however, the blond has other plans.

He shows up again while you’re sitting at the bottom of a shelf so high it nearly touches the vaulted ceiling of the library. You find him staring at you from the corner of your eye.

Your heart bounces inside your chest as your gaze crosses his.

He plops down next to you on the floor.

“Coriolanus,” you chide hotly, your voice just above a whisper. “You have to stop doing that.”

A lopsided smile decorates his handsome features.

“I like how flustered you get. It’s cute,” he replies, mirth dripping from his soft timbre. There isn’t an ounce of guilt in his words, as if the mere fact that your reaction entertains him is justification enough. 

A frown mars your brow as your focus shifts back to your Biology book.

“Shouldn't you be having lunch with your friends?”

“Hm…someone’s missing at my table.”

Your nails sink into your palm, your frown deepening. 

“You’re persistent.”

His raspy chuckle ripples through your skin.

“I prefer determined, angel,” he mutters, much closer than you’d like. “What are we reading today?”

“N-Nothing. Just going through my notes.”

“You don’t have to study all the time, you know.”

“No, I do.”

He hums his disapproval.

“You don’t.”

“I’m not like you, Coriolanus. I’m…” Your voice trails off. Your mind whirls as your spirits plummet. Mediocre? Dumb? Average? You couldn’t conjure the exact word, as each encapsulates a little bit of what you are. An anomaly amidst the best and the brightest in the Capitol. Regardless of your shortcomings, you want to prove Mother wrong. Besides, you’d feel so proud of yourself if you could stand on that stage one day and collect your diploma with honors. You bite your lips closed. “Nevermind.”

“You put a lot of pressure on yourself, angel.”

“Well, I don’t have a choice.” You try to ignore him. However it’s all for naught, the words blurring on the page as all sense and logic in the text is siphoned by Coriolanus’ unsettling blue stare. Your teeth clench as you sigh. “Are you just going to watch me…the entire time?”

“Maybe.” He pauses, licking his lips. “Or we could go to the cafeteria like I said.”

You gasp when he slams the book in your lap shut. 

“I already told you-”

“You can’t hide away forever, angel,” he interrupts.

Ignoring your protests, Coriolanus grabs your hand and pulls you to your feet.

“Come,” he urges, already dragging you through the library. 

“Wait, Coriolanus…” You almost topple over your own feet as you’re forced to keep up with his long-legged steps.

“I’m making a different choice for you, angel,” he chimes. He tosses you a teasing glance above his shoulder. “It’s okay, we don’t bite…Most of the time.”

Apprehension tangles your insides as you and Coriolanus approach the cafeteria. Coriolanus doesn’t hesitate as he crosses the threshold with your hand in his. All eyes rest on you and the Snow heir, some of the chatter dwindling while whispers fill the room. Heat creeps inside your face. Coriolanus ‘ friends too admire the strange spectacle, a mix of shock and interest mingling on their faces.

Once you reach his table, he pulls a chair out for you. You take a tremulous seat, trying your best not to cower beneath the curious eyes cast your way. Coriolanus sits next to you, his fingers clutching yours in encouragement beneath the table before he lets go of your hand.

Briefly lifting your eyes, you give a bashful wave.

“H-Hi,” you say. 

Livia Cardew doesn’t say anything, her narrowed eyes drifting between you and Coriolanus like she’s desperately trying to solve a riddle that won’t yield its meaning. Ivy Briarose is too focused on her nails to pay attention to you. 

Clemensia’s much perkier. She offers you her hand to shake. You take it.

“Nice to meet you, I’m-”

“I know who you are,” you reply. Your eyes widen as you note how strange a thing it is to utter to somebody you’ve never spoken to. But she takes it in stride, flashing you a sunny grin.

As you and the brunette shake hands, the sleeve of her dark blouse slides up her forearm, exposing a hint of the skin of her wrist. Your mouth drops in shock. The small patch of flesh is covered in scales, mottled in faint neon colors. This looks eerily familiar and your gaze lingers longer than it should. 

Clemensia rushes to cover her scarred wrist.

“Sorry,” you sputter, your embarrassment reaching its crest. It was rude to stare. You should have caught yourself. 

But the brunette brushes it off with a nonchalant huff.

“Oh, that? Looks familiar?” Clemensia bends to whisper in your ear, “Little gift from your mother.” Your blood turns to ice. She flashes her pearly smile, tossing her glossy black strands over her shoulder. “It’s alright though. Most of them have faded.” She unleashes a wry laugh. “It was much worse before…during the Games.”

You open your mouth, your brain scrambling for something to say…Anything. Mother hurt Clemensia, to prove a point probably, knowing her. You should say something, offer comfort, an apology perhaps. But your mind turns up blank. You shift awkwardly in your seat.

The panicked flurry of your thoughts is halted when Clemensia abruptly seizes your hands, squeezing them between hers.

She beams at you.

“You know what? I get the feeling that you and I are gonna be great friends.”

[1d1195]

Strong

~3.9k words

From Me: Requested by @thechaoticjoy I'm sorry it took so long, I hope I did it justice. I'll post the corresponding ask a little bit after the story has been out so long as it's okay with you 💕 I'll message you to chat!

Warnings: parental death long-term illness, hospitals, angst, tragic backstory, really sad stuff in this one. But there's some really comforting notions in it, I think. A lot of strong MC attributes and I think there's a lot to be celebrated in this kind of strength

Summary: Harry's best friend is sweet, kind, beautiful, and intelligent. He wishes she would open up to him more. Only because he doesn't want her to have to be so strong for herself. He would love to be strong for her every now and again.

“She’s the best,” Gemma said knowingly. “Sweet, calm...she’s perfect for you.”

Harry smiled. “Yeah,” he shrugged.

“Come on Harry, you can’t possibly ignore it. It’s...nice. Different. She’s perfect.” Her smile reflected the same one as Harry. Something they both inherited from their mother. Something that Harry loved to point to when looking at the relationship between them. He liked to believe the kindness he had came from the words his mum and sister spoke. A trait that was passed down to him since he didn’t get hand-me-downs from Gemma.

The sweet girl was quietly putting things in Anne’s car after having filled Gemma’s. “You sit with your sister,” she squeezed Harry’s shoulder and left no room for argument. Within seconds, she was grabbing keys from Michal and Harry’s mum. The lovely couple had been showered with gifts for the arriving baby girl. Michal and Anne were chatting at one table, Harry and Gemma at another.

“Who does this kind of thing?” Gemma asked rhetorically. “You cannot let her get away. There is no better sister-in-law I could imagine. No better aunt,” she said pointedly.

Harry smirked, his cheeks turning red at the compliments. But it wasn’t his place to blush or accept the compliments. She was perfect. Truly. But he didn’t do anything but find her by practically stumbling into her. They worked for the same company, Harry was a research assistant and she worked in IT. One day his computer was glitching out and Harry headed down a quiet hallway.

The room was dark, just a couple strings of Christmas lights around the walls. Music played quietly from a speaker while she organized paperwork and read over her computer screen. A pair of glasses (that turned out to be just for blue light and not for seeing) perched on her nose.

She was beautiful. That was the first thing Harry noticed because he couldn’t help but notice.

“Hi,” he said in greeting. “M’laptop froze.”

She was intelligent. That was the second thing. Because she worked magic within moments to get his computer back up and running.

The rest was history. She worked on it quickly and diligently. Tapping buttons, pressing keys that Harry never touched because he wasn’t convinced his laptop wouldn’t spontaneously gain a conscience. They chatted while she worked. Nothing of major importance. How long they worked there, where they went to school, and if she had tried the new sushi restaurant down the road for lunch.

“Thanks for coming to my dungeon,” she giggled when he was leaving. “Come back any time,” her smile was his favorite thing about her.

Lunchtime from then on meant heading to the dungeon decorated with Christmas lights and pictures of her family on the desk. There was no ring on her finger and only a picture of herself and her dog that she joked about as the longest relationship she had. It meant Harry sharing the sushi from the new place and her telling him that she had a chickpea Caesar salad recipe that he would love.

Harry dated several girls over the years, and each were lovely in their own way, but Gemma wasn’t exaggerating. There was something about the lovely girl he had known for the past few years that Harry didn’t know he was missing. Dates became far and few between. But Harry wasn’t brave enough to wreck their friendship. He didn’t want to be one of those statistics that attempted to date and not have it work out. He didn’t want to lose her by any stretch of the word.

If that meant being best friends, then that was what he would do.

So, she came to family events and confused the hell out of his friends. They didn’t touch (much to Harry’s chagrin) other than a hug or an arm squeeze like she gave him earlier. Neither said anything about the trill of something more bubbling below the surface. The electricity that pulsed from her fingertips and through his entire circulatory system. Harry was content to have her in his life in any form she existed because she was lovely and wonderful.

He only wished she opened up to him the slightest bit more.

*

Harry knew her favorite color and that her mom had passed away when she was eight. But there was this element of their friendship that she seemed to hold back. It felt like Harry would drink wine while they watched movies and dump all the things he felt from a young age on her. He told her things he didn’t tell anyone—not even Gemma or Niall or Mitch. He told her the inadequacies he felt, the impostor syndrome he felt at work, all of it. The anxiety he felt for the future and whether life would be what he wanted from it. She held each of his worries and fears in her hands like they were crystal glasses needing to be moved. She consoled him even though he was really over it. Assuaged him of all his worries and assured him that his life would be amazing simply because he was him. “Y’should have been a therapist, kitten,” he winked at her.

She smiled. “I’ve heard that before.”

She never reciprocated. There was a strength to her that waved off her. It was warm and everyone around her felt it. Her friends adored her, that much was obvious. But it was as if they were all so close to saying “we don’t need to worry about her.” She didn’t just console Harry. Everyone came to her for advice. The quiet lovely lady that worked in a dungeon and hid all of her thoughts and feelings. When they needed to vent, she was their phone call. Advice was her specialty. There was never judgment in her voice. No frustration or the feeling of pushing their worries aside. Every emotion her friends felt was valid and she would process and work through them as much as she possibly could.

When Harry was upset about a breakup—one that in hindsight he didn’t know why he even bothered—she didn’t make him feel bad that it had only been a short relationship. “Five months is a big deal,” she reminded him, placing a plate of his favorite tacos in front of him. It was her specialty. He wondered what came first, if she made tacos because she liked them or because he liked them. “You liked her a lot and five months is a big deal...it’s like a turning point. It was out of nowhere too. Anyone in their right mind would be upset,” she promised returning to the coffee table with her own plate. She sat on the floor across from him. He watched her eat a few bites wondering why on earth she was single for the umpteenth time.

“What’s your longest relationship?” He asked.

She snorted. “Um...a year, I think.”

“You think?”

She shrugged. “I don’t really date.”

The fact his heart cracked more at her words than the breakup he experienced the day before should have been his biggest clue that he was hopeless for the sweet girl.

“I noticed,” he smirked. “You’re too good for anyone, kitten,” he promised.

Her lips curled up in a half smile and she shook her head. “I don’t know about that.”

“S’okay, m’sure for you,” he winked making her laugh.

Harry didn’t date much after that either. Nothing serious; no more than a couple dates and setups from friends. Instead, he continued inviting her to family birthday parties and holidays where, naturally, everyone fell in love with her.

How could he blame his family and friends, really?

He was in the very same boat as them.

*

Gemma was having some minor trouble after delivering Harry’s sweet niece. The anxiety he felt was so overwhelming. His hands shook as his mum relayed the message. He stammered as he answered, dropped his keys. When he bent to retrieve them, her hand appeared in his vision, snatching them from the ground.

“No, I’ll drive,” she said firmly. Even if Harry wanted to argue he couldn’t.

She held Harry’s hand tightly on the middle console as she drove. Without any fanfare, she dropped him off in front of the main entrance and went off to find a parking spot. When he arrived in the waiting room, Anne was smiling as if there was no issue at all. “Wanna meet your niece?”

He did. Very badly. But his sister was his best friend. “What ‘bout Gemma?”

“She’s fine, Harry. Truly,” Anne assured him and rubbed his back.

They discussed the complications Gemma faced and all the worries Harry had for both her, Michal, and the sweet, adorable baby that was perfectly healthy and sleeping peacefully in the window alongside five or so other newborns.

They returned to the waiting room after Michal went back to the baby’s side. Anne squeezed Harry’s hand reassuringly once more and within moments, she was there. “I left my welcome gift at home in the rush to get here,” she appeared with overpriced objects from the giftshop. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes a bit dazed, and Harry sensed she was overwhelmed but assumed it was because of the surprise arrival of Harry’s niece and nothing more.

His heart rate slowed at her appearance. Like she was physical assurance that things really would be okay. She smiled at him, sighed, and gave Anne a hug. “Congrats Grandma,” her voice was proud and excited.

Harry couldn’t have asked for a better day.

*

Harry was a natural with babies. He was so at ease holding the newborn in his arms. “Think she’ll have our smile?” Gemma asked, showing off the very expression. He could hardly tear his eyes away from the baby but nodded at his sister���s question.

“Yeah,” he sighed smiling gratefully at the little one in his arms. He didn’t want to put her down. If he ever had children of his own, he had no idea how he was going to share. He had no idea how Gemma managed to fork her over to him in the first place—when all he wanted was to hold her anyway.

“Where did she go?”

“M’not sure,” he admitted. “Add money to the car meter, I think,” he shrugged. “I was told not t’worry about her.”

“Naturally.”

Harry frowned, brushing his finger along the baby’s soft cheek. “S’that supposed t’mean?”

“She doesn’t let anyone worry about her,” Gemma shrugged. “It’s probably pretty traumatic for her to be here,” Gemma’s tone had an air that she was reminding Harry of something he was supposed to remember, some event that he didn’t know. But he didn’t know what she was talking about.

“What do y’mean?”

Gemma tilted her head and shifted slightly in her bed. Michal and Anne were getting food from the cafeteria. “Harry, her mom died here,” she rolled her eyes.

Harry’s stomach rolled and he thought about the anxiety he felt coming to the hospital on behalf of his sister. It was nothing in comparison to the anxiety she must have felt.

Harry finally looked up from the sweet little baby and gazed at his sister. “She’s never told me that.”

Gemma frowned and relayed the story. Told her something about last Christmas. She thought that Harry knew because they were best friends. But Harry didn’t. It was one of those things she kept to herself. Gemma found her in the kitchen while everyone else was drinking and chatting in the family room. She told Gemma she was grateful to be part of a big Christmas like this. It had been a long time. But it made her miss her mom more than ever.

Then Gemma relayed the time she watched her excuse herself at a family wedding while the groom and mother dance. “Her family doesn’t do big celebrations like us,” Gemma told her. “That girl carries a ton of grief on her back and she acts like it weighs as much as a feather. She never worries about herself only others but in a way that makes you feel that nothing bad will ever happen to you. I swear just thinking about her in the delivery room and how calm she would have been was enough to keep me relaxed,” Gemma laughed and shook her head. “I told her I didn’t expect her to come to the hospital when the time came if she didn’t want to. I would never blame her. She said it wouldn’t be a problem because you wouldn’t bring her—it was a family thing. Do you have any idea how wonderful she is or are we just going to sit here and pretend the love of your life isn’t your best friend?”

Harry opened his mouth to respond. His eyes no longer on the baby, but his sister. Unable to believe the words she said. The outline to what he already knew and felt but couldn’t believe any more if he tried because it seemed so unattainable. The girl who didn’t tell him anything. Or didn’t want to be worried over.

But he was interrupted. “Look how cute this is,” she burst into the room holding a onesie that said “if my mom says no, my uncle will say yes.”

It gave the three of them a pause as Gemma laughed and Harry snorted. “S’true,” he murmured quietly to the tiny being in his arms.

Their giggles were interrupted by an intercom announcement. A code purple and it asked that all visitors and personnel stay on their current floors. The smile slowly faded from her lips, and she glanced at the baby in Harry’s arms. “You look good with a baby,” she winked the smile gently returned. She gave his shoulder a squeeze, laid the onesie on the cot Michal would be sleeping in later. “M’gonna run to the bathroom,” she said.

Harry watched her leave, the first time he had looked at anyone other than the baby for longer than thirty seconds since he met the little one.

“Harry,” Gemma said gently. “You should follow her.”

“What? Why?”

“Do you know what a code purple is?” Harry shook his head. “Missing child.”

Harry looked at the baby again and sighed. “Well, if anyone will find her...”

“It would probably be Miss Wonder Woman herself, yeah?” Gemma finished Harry’s thought.

*

She couldn’t have gotten far if the stairwells and elevators were blocked off. He searched as much as the rest of the staff on the floor, sending his mum a text that everyone in their little family was fine. Fortunately (for Harry), there was a commotion with one of the patients on the floor and the person standing guard at the stairwell stepped away long enough for Harry to sneak to the next floor. Because he may have felt that she hid a lot from him at times, but he was certain if anyone was going to find a lost little girl, it was going to be her—even if he didn’t know why she wanted to find her.

The enormity of the steps muffled most of the sound, but Harry crept around the back of the stairwell, and found a little storage closet.

“It’s not fair!” It was a small, sad voice that Harry didn’t recognize.

“It’s not,” she agreed. Her voice even, sad in a different way, was one that Harry did recognize.

“Mommy says I have to be brave for my siblings and I’m trying but it’s not fair! I don’t even get to be sad,” she cried.

“I know,” she agreed again. Composed, like she was talking someone off a ledge. Maybe she was, Harry didn’t really know what was happening. But her understanding was tangible. Her soft voice made Harry feel so safe.

But it broke his heart right in half.

“It’s because I’m oldest. Mommy tells me that I’m being a big girl and being brave and helping Daddy get better but I’m not. I don’t want to be here, it’s not fair.”

“I know,” she repeated. “My mommy died when I was your age too. She was really sick. I had to take care of my little brothers and my daddy,” she explained. “It was really hard. I didn’t think I was allowed to cry because I was good at being brave.”

The answer was a sniffle, not words. Harry felt terrible for not knowing this. For never pressing. For finding out in a stairwell with a little girl that neither of them knew. “But do you know who is most worried about you right now while everyone else is worried about your daddy?”

“Who?” There was a big breath of silence. Something that Harry didn’t understand passed between them. Some sort of recognition of the situation they were both privy to and Harry was not. “Daddy doesn’t know I’m there.”

“He does, sweetie, I promise,” she assured her. “Let’s get you back to him.”

“I just want to cry,” she whispered.

“I know. You will. It’s good to cry. Brave even.”

“Mommy says I’m brave for not crying.”

There was a pause for a moment that Harry couldn’t describe. He couldn’t see his best friend nor the little girl that the entire hospital was searching for. But the grief and weight he felt in that little space was immense.

“Mommy will tell you you’re brave for crying too,” she promised. But it was filled with an emotion that Harry couldn’t quite name; but he was sure he sensed a bit of longing in her tone.

He watched her grab the little one’s hand. Like she was grabbing the hand of her younger self. Harry hoped it healed whatever that sense of longing was and whatever she remembered in that quiet pause.

When she turned and saw Harry waiting, her cheeks reddened. She looked away briefly. “Look who I found,” she smiled sweetly. Not a trace of sadness on her face, not even a tear.

Harry hoped she would cry later. Hoped she would tell him everything. He was aching for it. Aching to carry the metric ton of grief she held for so long.

“Made another friend?” Harry asked instead.

She squeezed the girl’s hand. “I think so.”

“You okay, love?” Truthfully, Harry wasn’t sure who he was asking.

The little girl sniffled, her eyes blotchy red and glassy. She looked up at Harry shyly but also with awe. “Are you a prince?”

Harry chuckled and she smiled—the exact reprieve anyone could have hoped for in that moment. “He is,” she smiled kindly. “You’ll find a best friend just like him too,” she promised.

*

Fortunately, Miss Wonder Woman coaxed the little one back onto the floor and with the commotion of her return, she and Harry snuck right back in. No one questioned them. He wondered if the little girl would even mention her to her mom or the staff. But she was unconcerned—glad the little girl was okay and safe.

“How did you know where she was?” He asked.

She didn’t say anything. Watched the reunion of her mom and her brothers. The sadness flowing through a whole family like a virus.

“Love,” he tried to gather her attention but was unsuccessful. They stood in the waiting room watching from afar. The whole hospital began its routine again.

She wasn’t recognized for finding the little girl.

“Kitten,” he cooed. “Talk to me.”

She sniffled, wiped below her eyes.

“Love,” he touched her arm. It broke something in her. Her lower lip wiggled as she fought back the emotions and tears that she felt bubbling up from somewhere deep inside her.

“Uh...sorry. I just couldn’t—” she cleared her throat and wiped below her eyes again.

“Love, you don’t—”

“Does Gemma need anything? I bet a code purple probably scared a first time—”

“Kitten.” Her shoulders heaved and she tried to continue talking, something about helping or understanding. Something about Gemma and Anne and Michal. “Angel, y’need t’stop,” he whispered quietly, as her sobs took over. Her hands covered her face and she turned toward him. Her body shaking and Harry wrapped her up in his arms. Held cupped the back of her head as she cried and he wanted it to stop. It hurt him so much to feel that pain through her. It wasn’t even his pain. He imagined all those moments in the last few years where she hid her own pain to take care of others.

“I couldn’t cry,” she croaked.

Harry didn’t want her to cry now but he was glad she was.

“I know, angel,” he didn’t. But he would pretend. Because she was there for every emotion that he had felt since he met her, and it never stopped her. She never made him feel bad for feeling any type of way. He would do anything to make her feel the same. “I know,” he sighed and squeezed her as tightly as he could worried he might hurt her but worried she would fully break apart if she didn’t.

*

Harry’s bed was her new favorite place. “I owe you some new pillowcases,” she whispered.

“Kitten, jus’ worry ‘bout yourself for a change,” he kissed her forehead, almost directly between her eyebrows. It made her feel like she was made of putty.

“I am, if I’m going to be sleeping here, I can’t get dirty from all my tears and snot.”

He chuckled. “I’ll get new pillowcases if y’sleep here.”

“You don’t mind?”

Did he mind her sleeping there? Or getting new pillowcases? “Neither, love,” his fingers trailed up and down her spine. “S’nice, yeah?”

She nodded. “Been thinking about it a while,” she whispered.

“Shoulda said something,” he hummed quietly. “Anything that’s mine, s’yours.”

“Anything?”

“Mhmm.”

“Even the secret chocolate stash you have in the oatmeal box?”

He chuckled. “All yours.”

“What about that candle in your kitchen that you light after you finish cleaning?”

“I’ll put your name on it.”

She was quiet for a minute. She inhaled the warm scent of his cologne poking at the freckles that dotted his collarbones and neck at sporadic intervals. Once the tears started, she couldn’t stop. Hence the need for new pillowcases. Her skin felt raw, blotchy, her head hurt a bit from the lack of water.

But Harry was there the whole time. He didn’t shy away once. Simply let her cry for all the times she didn’t because she needed to be brave and all the times she wanted to anyway. Eventually she whispered all the things she kept from him. From everyone. Even herself.

“Harry?” She whispered.

“Yes, kitten?”

“I know this is lame, but I didn’t date a whole lot growing up because I never felt like good things could happen to me. I always worried it would be taken away and... anyway... I don’t know how to ask this, because it sounds so lame but you’re my best friend so maybe you’ll know what I’m saying and—”

“I told y’anything that’s mine is yours, angel,” his smile was lazy but beautiful. Like this was the most normal thing he’d ever done with her. Everything about him was beautiful. From the surface of his skin to the depths of his soul.

So it shouldn’t have been a surprise that her best friend already knew what she wanted to say.

His lips brushed against her temple. Her heart finally felt at ease. “Course I want t’be your boyfriend. You have my whole heart.”

--

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[hel1nn]

𐔌 . ⋮ Levi Ackerman x fem reader .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

｡𖦹°‧ : fluff to angst to fluff and smut | nsfw | 18+ content mdni | fingering | pussy eating | squirtin | cum eating | cursed words | friends to lovers | mordern/college au | ֹ ⑅᜔ ׄ ݊ ݂

A/N ୧ ‧₊˚ : credits goes to the owner of the arts i used here!! English isn't my first language sorry if i did any mistakes:)

You were just another classmate of levi. That's how levi sees you. You think. But in your eyes levi was so much to you since you knew him from when you first stepped in the collage. He wasn't the type of to be with everyone and blah blah. But your little heart after seeing Levi every time made you cling to him everywhere he got. Physical touch was your love language. You loved holding his hands. When you told your friends about him..they asked you "does he feels the when he holds your hand?" Fuck no. Maybe. You want him to feel butterflies like you do whenever you're with him

⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍒ɞ˚‧｡⋆

As always today you were sticked to levi, holding his hand wherever he goes...today Levi wasn't in the mood of handling you. Levi never knew how you felt about him so it was obviously wired to him how you'd act like hes something to you. How you'd stare at him with your round eyes. Hugging him whenever he did something for you. he was so sick of it... because you were his friend. Not his lover. So catching feelings for you would ruin him..if you don't feel the same. He was so confused with what you were doing to him. He sat on his usual desk in class. Staring at you being all bubby and sweet to your other friends. He sighed and looked away. The classes started to begin. You sat beside levi as always, throwing small balls of papers at him to annoy him. Loving the twitch of his eyebrows. Giggling and then getting scold by the teacher because of it. The lunch time came soon so you left with levi again. Dragging him with you. Everyone was already with their date partners because the prom was nearing,you had never attended proms in collage before so you decided this year you'll attend it. With levi. But you didn't had the courage to ask him to be your date or anything like that, you'll just go to the prom with him as friends..even your bsf mikasa got a date,eren. You didn't minded it because levi never liked proms but he agreed to go this year since you asked him. It was enough.

*at the prom*

You'd never go to the prom again..you had noticed that somehow levi was pushing himself away from you so tonight when you were as always sticked to him,he snapped at you. Not for once. Snapped at you three times during the whole prom.

"Can't you just stop your mouth for a second!?" You ignored it and continued clinging on his arm.

"stop being so childish you can get your drink alone" he again snapped,this time it kinda made you sad. you didn't say anything and stayed there without getting your drink. Since the guys around there had been a little scary..you thought you'd ask levi to get you a refill.

"you know if you have so many problems here you can just left already" he snapped the last time when you just tugged at his arm so he could tell you where the bathroom is. You wanted to fix your makeup but you wre so done with him being a jerk to you today..or maybe for the first time.

_

You had already left the prom, now you were at your college dorm. Laying on your bed. You had cried about why he was acting like this today..no for few days. Your phone had few texts from levi,but you didn't noticed it. Too tired to look at your phone. You took a deep breath trying to sleep but...

1:40am -

You couldn't sleep.

2:15am -

You got up from your bed and to walked here and there in your dorm completely board,you finally stopped when you noticed you backpack on the desk,you sighed looked inside of it to find something. You remembered buying few packets of buns yesterday since often times you get hungry at midnight. You didn't eat dinner tonight. When you pulled out a packet of bun from it a diary in your bag catches your eyes. You pull out the diary too. Walking off to your bed you layed down on it. Unwrapping the cun you took a bite from it as you opened your diary. It was the diary you used to write so many things when you first time felt something different towards him. The first two-three pages were written about How you had met Levi. The second page had a picture of levi sleeping with a bread you had drew on his face with a marker. You smiled at that before slipping to other pages. There were more silly pictures of levi or levi and you together. And so many thoughts you never told anyone about.

3:43am -

You finally fell asleep,the diary left open by your side.

୨ৎ

The next day when you wake up you check your phone finally..also noticing the texts he had sent you

♡ Levi >ᴗ< :

9:34pm - yn stop being childish.

10:30pm - you won't stop being a brat i guess

(he got drunk)

1:16am - i em sowwy

1:22am - yyur a jark

1:18am - stop bweimg a bret

(he texted again when he was normal)

2:20am - y/n i am sorry,i really am. talk to me tomorrow when you will wake up.

2:23am - mikasa told me you left crying because i was being a jerk.

You didn't know what to reply to his texts and left for collage. You tried your best to ignore him the whole classes and day. At Lunch time you were miles away from him. Even though you missed clinging to his arm but you were too nervous to talk to him after yesterday night. You were still hurt so you just decided to give yourself some time. 2days passed like this and you missed him even more but you also didn't talked to him. Tonight you were curled up on your bed as always. But tonight was different,you heard a knock on your dorms door. I didn't took for you to realize who was knocking by hearing it. Levi. You knew you can't avoid him for so long..

_____

Levi was sitting beside you,your head was down looking at your lap fidgeting with your fingers "why are you here?" You mumbled. He sighed before speaking "your still mad aren't you" you tense up slightly, before nervously smiling. It was looking like a panicked expression. "N-no its not like th-that i know i should respect giving you s-space since i am always st-sticking up to you and-" levi groaned in frustration looking away from you. even if you weren't mad you were hurt and he knew it. "I am sorry." Your gulped,you didn't expected him to say that right now "for snapping at you" its o-okay...you can always tell me if you want any space..you don't have to snap like that" you pouted slightly but this time you moved closer to him. Resting your head on his shoulder "i missed you.." you mumble before nuzzling against him like a puppy again. Levi didn't said anything more,he pulled you closer to him, hugging you. His lips gazing at your forehead. Your arms wrapped around him.

Few months has passed away since then. It was now winter. February 14 is tomorrow. You had decided that you'll spill out all of your feelings to levi. even if he rejects you the heavy weight in your chest will go away. You told him to visit your dorm tonight. You took a dayy off from college to bake cakes and chocolates for levi, you weren't gonna propose him that boringly. You got yourself a new sweater to doll up for levi. As the time paased 12am came near. Before 12am you bought levi to your dorm,he had no idea about what you were doing. A clothe was covering his eyes as you pushed him in your room and waited for the right moment. 12am actually.

˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖

You didn't knew how this came so far. When you heard him say yes you're world had shook,you attacked him with kisses. Almost making him faint. cut the cake and spended your time with him for hours,watched a movie on the laptop and then...you didn't understand how but...you were grinding your clothed pussy against his thigh. Kissing the soul out of eachother. And then your clothes were gone. His fingers shoved into your hole,you cute pussy fully bare Infront of his eyes. It felt like a dream but it wasn't,your tits bare for him. Only him. He sucked on one of your cute nipple as his fingers fucked you, curling them up finding your g-spot. Gummy walls flutter around his fingers cutely as he shoved the third finger. You moaned loudly gripping his torso. Your tongue lulling out of your mouth. Pink lips covered in his and your spit. You were so close so close and- he took his fingers out of you, licking your juices of his fingers as you stared him with a pout for teasing you,but it didn't took long for him to shove his face in your soft pussy. Groaned in pleasure as his tongue licks the hell out of your cute hole and clit. Your eyes rolling up in pleasure and his eyes were rolling up at the taste of you...and suddenly something snapped in you,you moaned loudly. Your legs shaking in pleasure as your hand grips levis hair. He doesn't even lets a drop off your juice go wasted.

"your turn" he murmured as he unbuckled his belt, getting his hard dick just in front of your pinky lips. Pre cum dripping from his red tip,he gently pushes his tip against your lips as you stare up at him with those doe eyes. His breath hitches seeing you like this. You don't have any idea how he had dreamed about this and woke up with a hard cock. "Go ahed" he mumbles and you shyly nod,taking his tip in your mouth,giving it a soft suck.he almost cums at that,eyes wide in pleasure as he pushes into your mouth more. You let out a breath before taking his whole cock in your mouth. He lets out a loud moan his tongue almost out of his mouth. You softly bob your head up and down. Sucking his delicious cock. Your hands slipped underneath his sweater as your hand caresses his hard abs. He breath shaking like a balloon in front of a fan. Pulling away you took s breath then start to lick his cock again. Levi gently grabbed the bun of your hair and pushed his cock into your mouth again. It only took few minutes for him to cum in your mouth,he pulled out his softening dick out of your mouth. Without any complain you swallowed up the salty and bittersweet cum. Licking up the cum in the corner of your lips...that expression of yours didn't take too long for his cock to get hard again. He leans down and kisses your forehead before laying your bare body down on the bed. Folding you up for mating press. Your legs pressed to your chest as his tip rubs against your entrance. "Don't tease..le-" is all you managed before he slipped his cock in your hole,the soft groan of his voice and your "nghh hahh" filled up the room. another thrust and you were down bad for his cock. He lets you get adjusted to his cock for few minutes. The gives some slower thrusts.. making you look dumb on his cock. The pace of his thrusts became faster and then it turned into pounding into your little hole. You were moaning mess as as he continued to pound in you,you love it. And he loved how tight and sweet your pussy was. How beautifully it clenched on his cock as he fucked you dumb,your cute breasts bouncing up and down as he leans down to suck your nipple. Dick pounding into you. "Hngh hahhh more" you slur out amd his pace becomes even faster, making you go see stars. and with the last thrust,"i am gonna hngh-" you ended up cumming on his cock and his cock ended up Cumming inside your pretty pussy with a loud "ahh...hunghh" moan of levi.

[octuscle]

Hi, im a 19 yo nerd, yesterday some kids wre playing with a soccer ball in front of my house, the ball got into the garden of my house and when i threw it out, i didnt nlticed i threw it a bit far and it arrived into the house across the street, breaking a window, the neighbor, a single man, came to my house and told my parents what i did, he demands i repair the window by myself, i dont know how to do that, can you give me a little help?

First of all, you do what you do best. You sit down at your computer. Enter "repair soccer window" into Google. A lot of things come up that won't help you at all. Care tips for footballs. And advertisements for household contents and liability insurance. The soccer care thing doesn't look very helpful, but it might be interesting.

Shit, you can waste a lot of time on the Internet very quickly. After half an hour, you're back to the current and upcoming match day in the Premier League. But you still don't know anything about repairing windows. "Repairing windows". Perhaps it would help to remove soccer from the search query. It doesn't matter why the window is broken. It just needs to be repaired.

Now we're getting closer to the point. Lots of tutorials on youtube. Surely there's something there. Unfortunately, you don't even know what kind of window is broken. And what exactly is broken. Damn, just how many different types of window panes there are. You can find an article about German windows. They have a lot of damn cool features. I wonder if that would be a market to sell and install German ones here. What this tilt function is supposed to do is still not clear to you. But these shutters on the windows are hot shit. You'd like to install something like that at your parents' house.

You're guaranteed not to install something from Schüco for a few thousand dollars in your neighbor's house… You're assuming that your neighbor will have vertical sliding windows in most of the rooms, just like you do. Probably made of aluminum. A shame, really. Horizontal sliding windows made of wood with glazing bars would fit the character of the house much better.

Haven't you ever worked for your neighbor? You must still have plans and views from the street side. Or at least a photo. Yes, here. Where were you standing again? How hard did you throw the ball? What was the wind like? Just because you did an apprenticeship as a carpenter doesn't mean you're stupid. So it's probably the window of the study on the second floor. Yes, it must have been rotten, you can see that quite clearly in the photo. Just replacing the glass won't help much.

Nowadays, working on the computer is half the battle. Calculating material requirements, programming saws for cutting. And downloading some porn in between. Hehehe, unlike your father, you don't need to hang up raunchy calendars in the workshop anymore. Your father is hardly ever seen here anyway. It's no longer his world. In his day, a carpenter needed a hammer and a saw, he used to say. Old man, those days are long gone.

Before you start, you went to your neighbor's house across the street. Real life is sometimes more reliable than virtual life. But it was the right window, you measured it again with your laser measuring device. You had miscalculated by a few millimeters. You are a craftsman with passion and dedication. You don't mess around. You deliver precision work.

"Mr. T, better than before my throw," you say with a grin. But it's the pure truth. But you know exactly why your neighbor insisted that you carry out the repair. He'll do anything to get you to fix things in his house. And when no more chairs tip over and no more doors squeak, you'll take care of Mr. T. yourself.

He asks if you can have a look at the shower after the window. While you take off your dungarees, you say that you are a carpenter and not a plumber. You will probably need help. You don't have to ask Mr. T for long.

[kiame-sama]

Hello, Can you write more yanChrollo with the newly hijacked and autistic reader? Maybe where the reader is not yet used to Chrollo or the situation, And afraid of him and the rest of the members

I would like to make the reader male but if you prefer to make the reader female then I don't mind at all

I am now in my twenties

Thank you so much

Warnings; yandere, yandere relationship, yandere behavior, autistic reader, male reader, mention of kidnapping, less than pleased reader, tough situations, ficlet (not a fullblown fic), somewhat hurt/comfort,

(Despite being a male reader, still using my own autism as a reference)

~~~~~~~~

"Why are we just letting him-"

"Don't question Boss. His soulmate, his rules."

"But why the hell is he just letting his soul mate sit in the corner like that?"

You watched them closely as you sat and stared, trying to keep to yourself as best you could. It had been days but you still couldn't bring yourself to relax among the group of people that had so readily grabbed you off the street. They were much more openly curious than Chrollo- the man they had grabbed you for- and clearly did not care if you could hear them or not.

Chrollo, the man that claimed you as his soulmate, had been rather keen on letting you acclimate to him but also keeping you in his sight. Luckily, he did give you some privacy, but he was never too far away from you even when you were out of his sight. Even when you slept you knew he was somewhere nearby and it only made your stress levels rise.

"No sense in upsetting him more than getting him to me had," Chrollo, spoke with a vague grin on his lips, "clearly I just have to learn how to best interact with him, that is all."

"I can hear you."

"I know you can, my darling (Y/n). However, you are not keen on talking, so there is no point in making you talk."

"... But there is a point in taking me from my home?"

Chrollo turned to you now, intentionally blinking in an attempt to come across as less threatening despite how it obviously didn't fool you. Still, he was learning what unsettled you and what was going to keep you calm. Any progress in relaxing you around him was good progress in Chrollo's eyes.

"Yes. As I explained earlier, we are soulmates. You can distrust me as much as you wish, you will eventually never want to leave my side. Soulmates are connected for a reason, Dear."

You just let out a soft humming sound in response to his words, drumming your fingers against your arm idly. Chrollo continued to smile at you despite your lack of response before returning to his book. The other members of the group didn't seem to feel the same way as they continued to glance at you suspiciously from time to time.

The sounds from the outside wre muffled but absolutely enough to occupy you. Not many cars went by, but there were still the various barks of dogs as others passed the abandoned building you were held captive inside of. Despite the sounds, your eyes stayed fixed on the relaxed figure of Chrollo.

The more you stared, the more your situation began to weigh on you. A very faint sting of salty tears burned your eyes as your throat seemed to tighten with distress. When you finally dropped your gaze, you had to hide your face against your arms and you pulled your knees to your chest. The first few tears fell quickly but you tried your best to remain as quiet as possible to not draw attention to your now sensitive state.

It was while you choked back any sounds from escaping that you felt something drape over your shoulders. Whatever it was almost seemed like a blanket and you quickly took to wrapping yourself in the material. The faint brush of fur against your arms brought to mind thoughts of the coat Chrollo always wore and you gathered just what the item was.

A soft sound of movement next to you made you peak one eye past your arms where you hid your face, seeing Chrollo settle an arm's length away from you. He leaned against the wall as he sat- completely topless- and opened his book back to whatever page he had been on. He didn't even glance at you as you stared at him, trying to gauge what he was doing. Without missing a beat, Chrollo spoke in a soft tone to you, the low rumble of his voice somewhat soothing your anxious heart.

"I know it is a frightening time for you. You're somewhere new. Somewhere you don't know very well. It all is so sudden and confusing for you. I understand. Even if you don't trust me now, I still don't wish to bear the thought of you hurting all by yourself."

Chrollo had that grin again, the one where he seemed to be both bemused and patiently waiting. You couldn't tell if you liked that look on him or not.

"You will warm to me eventually. For now, take comfort in the fact I have quite the patience. I can wait as long as I need to until you begin to trust me."

[seeingivy]

funeral

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting fic

content: depictions of grief, talk of addiction/anxiety

an: i am alive (mostly). eat your cake, even though I think it Is bad (this chapter was the hardest to write, right next to the "the third act" chapter

songs mentioned: marjorie by taylor swift

previous part linked here

--

“What are you thinking, Eren?” Hange asks. 

The question is stupid. Eren is thinking of the only logical conclusion that he can draw from the autopsy report. The implication of it, of how Marco really died, is sitting right in front of him.

The patient is a twenty-three year old Caucasian male with no significant medical history. Emergency services responded to the scene of a motor vehicle crash around nine p.m. At the scene, responders found that the patient was trapped in the vehicle, upturned on the side of the road, with no pulse at the time of arrival. Patient was declared dead on scene. Autopsy concluded that primary cause of death was asphyxiation, secondary cause being severe loss of blood due to injuries in the extremities. 

“I’m thinking that the paparazzi killed him, Hange.” Eren spits. 

“Eren.” 

“Hange, don’t. Just-” Levi mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

Levi’s eyes are borderline gaunt. Eren knows the past few days have sat horribly on Levi’s shoulders and perhaps the past year and a half have too. 

The guilt is excruciating. Because all Eren knows how to do is ruin people.

He dragged Levi and Hange into his mess, when he asked them for help. But it had gone too far at that point, the interview, the night on the beach, the fight - he had exhausted all ends and desperately needed someone on his side. 

Levi and Hange all but berated him for it. For letting it get so far, for waiting so long when he should have known that they were always there to help. But this reaction, Levi being the one to side with his outburst is proof enough that he made the wrong choice, that he should have stuck with himself. That them bending backwards and forwards to get him out of his mess has truly taken its toll. 

Levi and Hange always mimicked him and you. Eren and Hange, he knows they both have a tendency to get so lost in the emotion, to feel it so deep that the response is too loud, too much for what’s called for. That’s when you and Levi would come in, to soothe them down and bring them back to Earth. 

In the same vein, you and Levi, you planted your weeds too deep into the ground. Rooted in exactly what he’s not quite sure - perhaps misplaced insecurities, whatever the two of you seemed to hide in those deep inner walls - but it kept you both stagnant, stuck where you were. That’s where Hange and Eren came in, pushing you both to soar a little bit higher than what you imagined for yourself. 

But now Levi’s here, all but exhausted and broken, the same way he’s sure you were. That’s why things got so fucked up. Eren didn’t let you pull him down. He didn’t pull you up. 

“They killed him, Hange.” Levi states, tone void of any emotion. 

“Levi. It’s almost midnight, we’re all feeling emotional right now. We should look at this all with a clear mind tomorrow.” 

“They killed him. There is nothing to look at.” Levi says, enunciating every inflection of his words. 

Eren knows it for a fact. And from the look on Hange’s face, he knows they do too. His train of thought is cut off by the knocking - rapid, loud consecutive knocks slamming against the wood. 

“God, Eren. Go get it now before they run off with our food.” Hange murmurs, gesturing towards the door. 

Eren shuffles past the length of the hallway and swings open the door to find not his UberEats bag, but Lana, out of breath and panting on his doorstep. 

“Ew. You just left two hours ago. Why are you back already?” 

“Eren. Oh my god.” 

Lana wraps her arms around him, squeezing hard, as she cries into his shoulder. Her demeanor settles an immediate panic under his skin. The last time she reacted like this, Eren had to watch the most gut wrenching interview of his life while she held his hand. God knows whatever she’s about to tell him now is going to break him.

Eren brings his hands up and grabs her shoulders, applying pressure to stop her from shaking in his arms. 

“Lana. What’s wrong with you? Why are you-”

“Eren. I’m so sorry, you- I’m here for you, okay? Whatever you need, just-just say it.” she pants, hiccuping in between her tears.

Eren frowns, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her out of the cold Seattle air into the kitchen where Hange and Levi are cooking by the stove. 

“Hi Lana Bear! How are you, kid?” Hange says, all but bouncing over to wrap their arms around Lana. 

This only upsets Lana more, the discomfort worsening in Eren’s chest as he can’t help but stare at her, at her brown eyes turning almost red from the downpour of her tears and the tension sitting in her shoulders. 

“What is it? Who died?” 

The question, when Eren asks it, is entirely rhetorical. A figure of speech, meant to emphasize that Lana’s reaction was extreme, too obscene for whatever it is she must be talking about. But when she doesn’t respond and swallows hard, the look on her face so crestfallen, Eren’s chest settles into a panic. 

His first thought is you. 

“Lana. Is she dead? What are you-” 

Lana scrambles for the remote on the counter, switching from the Disney Channel to the first news report she can find. The image is of an overturned car, the metal crushed and steaming in the front, accompanied with words that burn Eren’s ears. The first hit is relief - that it’s not you. The second hit is painful, like the air’s been sucked out of his lungs. 

Because it’s Marco. 

“What?” Levi says, taking his eyes off the stove to glance at the screen. 

Eren can feel his phone incessantly buzzing in his pocket and he reaches for it immediately, Lana leaning into his side as she continues to cry into his shoulder. Levi and Hange are moving closer to the television, like that’ll somehow make the sound better, the image clearer, like they’ll be able to find falsity in it. 

jean: the bodt’s said the funeral is going to be near the old house. ask levi and hange if we can all stay in the townhouse together. 

bertholdt: reiner and i are heading over tonight. 

sukuna: Let me know if you need anything. Give the paparazzi hell for this one. 

connie: i’m coming back to seattle. i-i don’t know if i can do this. 

Eren’s quick to respond to that one. 

eren: i’ve got you man. meet us in new york as soon as you can, we’re all going to stay at the townhouse. don’t leave sasha’s side until you get there okay?

connie: alright. okay, thanks. 

eren: phone is on. 

“This is bullshit. How do they know it’s him?” Levi says angrily, hands crossed over his chest. 

“Levi.” Hange says, voice nearly cracking. 

“No, I’m being fucking serious. How do they know that this guy is our Marco? There’s no proof. Call the Bodt’s right now.” Levi says, pacing the kitchen for where he left his phone. 

Eren frowns, his head racing as Levi walks the length of the kitchen and Hange settles into their immediate panic.

“Eren.” Lana says. 

“Hm?” 

“I have to tell you something. You’re going to hate it. I-” 

“Just tell me, Lana. No-no beating around the bush.” 

“The paparazzi…got to him first before the police.” she whispers. 

“What?” Eren says, through gritted teeth as his head all but short circuits. 

“They knew it was his car, he’d been driving it around that part of Nashville for a while. They were probably just following him to get pictures wherever he was going. But then he-he crashed and-” 

“And what? They took pictures of it? Of him?” Eren asks, squeezing Lana’s shoulders too hard. 

“Yeah. They-they only called the police when they were done, Eren. I-” 

The tears fill Eren’s eyes as the implication cuts deep. It all but sears the air in his lungs, the tears welling so fast that it’s already obstructing his vision. All he can feel is Lana’s hands, squeezing his biceps, as he tries to control the heaving in his chest. 

“How long?” 

“Eren.” she says, tone so pitiful it makes his blood boil. 

“How long, Lana?” he asks, voice cracking. 

“It took them forty-five minutes to get there. They would have been there in fifteen.” she whispers. 

And now, the autopsy report tells him enough. With a definitive resolve that the paparazzi killed Marco. Because he died from asphyxiation, from being twisted in the metal, not getting any air. And if the police had gotten there maybe a moment earlier, a second faster, they could have gotten him out, could have at least made sure he was breathing. 

They wanted a picture. Marco died for it. 

The anger surges through Eren, tenfold when he remembers the paparazzi lining up Jean and Mikasa’s engagement party, Falco’s school, his house the day his grandpa died. When you walked into his garage, drenched from the rain with a deep cut on your face and skidded knees, scared to death. 

“I’m done sugarcoating, Hange. Eren is right. They killed Marco.” Levi responds. 

Hange sighs, leaning against the counter as Eren walks up to them, resting his head against their shoulder. They all stand there in silence, not even seventy-two hours after the fact, and it still hasn’t hit Eren. 

In full flesh, that Marco is gone. 

The rapid knocking on the door, real this time, breaks him out of his thoughts. 

“Probably Zeke or Armin. I’ve got it.” he murmurs. 

“Thanks kid.” 

Eren watches as Levi sinks into Hange’s arms, sighing as he shuffles to the door and flicks on the porch light. He swings it open and immediately feels his throat tighten, fully constricted, at the sight of you standing in the lamplight. 

You’re looking up at him, swallowing hard, as you stare into his eyes and all Eren can do is wonder if your brain is short circuiting as much as his is. Surely, it isn’t. Eren has every reason to be embarrassed, to be ashamed. And you don’t. 

For posterity, he fights all instincts, every urge in his body, to reach forward and hold you. To let your sweet flowery smell take over his nose, to settle his face into that crook in your neck, to have your soft, soft touch running over his skin. To let the mountain of emotions he’s been carrying fall, because you’re here. 

But he can’t. 

“Hi Eren.” 

“Y/N.” 

He can’t help but inspect every micro-movement, every gesture you make. Your eyes are nearly glassing over with tears and you’re nervously fidgeting with your fingers. You’ve dropped your gaze to focus on the ground, a habit you always had when you were sad, as your voice breaks into the air. 

“Can I ask you something? Please?” you whisper. 

He reaches forward, hands on your shoulders, squeezing once and praying to god you remember what it means, as he nods. 

That he’s here and he’s got you. 

“Anything. What is it?” 

“Is he dead?” 

Maybe not anything. 

He can’t be the one to tell you. You of all people that Marco died, at the hands of the paparazzi. The same paparazzi who in your very pointed words, gutted your first love like a fish. Who were partly to blame, who drove you out of here alongside him. 

“Y/N.” 

“Is he?” you repeat, voice smaller. 

“Okay. Let’s go inside, you-”

“Is Marco dead, Eren? I’m asking you a question.” 

Your anger in your voice is enough to make him stop in his tracks, the second time your voice is laced with that animosity that it scares him into responding. He hears it, in his worst hours, echoing in his mind. 

How many times are you going to keep breaking shit without any care in the world? The camera, the fucking award you picked over me, Connie’s fucking livelihood, my heart. God, Eren. All you’ve ever cared about is yourself. From the start.

He swallows hard. 

“Yes. Marco’s dead.” 

And you don’t even know the half of it. 

He watches your glass tears, the ones sitting right on the edge of your eyelashes, fall in full force, onto your cheeks as you immediately start hiccuping, hands clasped against your chest. 

“I-I saw it on the news. I-I didn’t believe it but I- They always lie about stuff. I thought it was the same as that and-” 

“Y/N, come ins-” 

Your panic sets in so fast, so quick that Eren doesn’t even register it. Because one second you’re panting and the next Eren’s watching you retch onto the grass Connie mowed this morning. Eren pushes you into the house the second you stop, straight to the kitchen where Levi and Hange are still standing in their spots. 

“Wait, is that-” 

“Do you guys know if we have something like…anti-nausea? Is that what you do when someone throws up or-” Eren asks. 

“Is that Y/N?” Levi asks. 

“Yeah, she-she was on the porch, I-” 

Levi’s quick to walk up, hands on your shoulders as he talks, voice quiet and calm when he speaks near your ear. Hange moves to Eren’s side, her face wearing that concerned look she gives him too much these days, as they both rummage through the cabinets for anything that could help. 

“Y/N. You okay?” Levi asks. 

“I-I threw up on the-the porch. On the g-grass. So-sorry.” 

“It’s just grass. What’s-” 

Eren tries to still it - that pounding in his heart - as he walks over with the glass of water he filled up for you. Your hands must be wobbling too much because Eren doesn’t let the glass go, instead tilting your head up softly with his hands and pouring the water into your mouth. 

“Hey. Drink some more for me.” Eren states, voice soft as he instinctively reaches forward to fix the hairs sticking to the sweat beading your forehead, feeling your skin burning under his touch. 

“We should take her temperature.” Eren says. 

Levi and Hange dart out of the room, to the drawer upstairs where the thermometer is, as Eren takes breaks between helping you drink the water and rubbing circles into your back. 

Eren can feel every muscle in his body tense, his skin burning when you lean forward, forehead resting against his chest as you groan out in pain. 

“Hey. You with me?” Eren asks, murmuring straight into your hair. 

Eren feels your breathing still against him, his hands intuitively wrapping around you this time, cradling the back of your head in his hands. You hum in response to his question, which is a good enough answer for Eren now.  

“Found it.” Levi says, all but speed walking as Eren spins you around, watching as Levi meticulously pushes your sweaty hair out of your face and holds the sensor against your head. You’re all standing there in silence, craning over the little plastic as the two consecutive beeps go off. 

“98.6. You’re okay, Y/N.” Levi mutters, setting the thermometer back on the table. 

“Thank you, Levi.” you respond back, rubbing your arms on your biceps as you stare at the two of them, withdrawn and withholding from you. 

Granted, you’d do the same. You wouldn’t rush to their arms either if they ignored you for two years. 

“You can take this for nausea. If it happens again.” Hange says, placing a bottle in your hands. 

“Sure. Thank you, Hange.” you respond. 

The silence hangs in the air between the four of you as you stand there, each of you racking your heads for the right thing to say. Eren wants to tell Levi and Hange to stop being so rude, that they were the ones who were begging you to come back and now that you’re here they won’t even talk to you. Levi and Hange are debating which one of them should yell at you first, for being withdrawn from them and not asking for help the way Eren did. And you’re figuring out who you should apologize to first, between the three of them. 

None of you break. Because it’s not the right time. Because Marco is dead. 

“Everyone is sleeping together upstairs. There should be an extra air mattress up there, Eren will get it for you….knock if you need something.” Levi says, tone exasperated as he shuffles away. 

“Welcome back, kid.” 

Hange gives you a full smile as they follow him, leaving you and Eren in the kitchen. The distance Levi is putting in between you and him stings, but you swallow the burn and remind yourself that you’re the one who inflicted it on yourself. 

At the time, after the interview, the rationale made more sense. Nonsensically, you decided that you were done with the industry and that, by proxy, meant that you were done with them too. You did your interview and stuck to your word, never looked back. 

It’s humiliating now. Debilitating thinking about how much you must have hurt them. Because each of them, they continually reached out until it stopped. Mikasa made every effort to have you come to her engagement party, that she would even stop the press from coming for Vogue the way they had planned for you. 

And when you didn’t show, all she did was send you pictures, of her and Jean cutting the cake and of the dress she had bought for you to wear. Hange and Levi were so vigilant about it, on making sure that you were okay, that you had security details, that people really were leaving you alone. You didn’t heed any of their efforts, because for all intents and purposes, you were leaving the girl you were behind. 

Her dreams, the love she held, the friends she had. 

It seems stupid now. It seems incredibly and gut-wrenchingly stupid that your last words to Marco were over two years ago because you were punishing him for something that wasn’t his fault. That you can’t go to any of them for comfort because the thing that they need comfort from is you. 

All you know how to do is ruin people. 

“Are you hungry? Or do you want to go to bed?” Eren asks. 

“I can go to bed. Levi said air mattress?” 

“Yeah, we’re all sleeping together in the loft upstairs.” 

“We?” you ask. 

“Mikasa and Jean are here. Ymir and Hisu, Bertholdt and Reiner, Connie and Sash. Everyone else should be getting in tomorrow.” 

Eren pads towards the stairs and you awkwardly follow, crawling up the stairs behind him. You can hear the loud chatter of voices, talking over each other, as you try to catch the ends of their conversation. 

“But where do they go when you pee?” Sasha asks. 

“Fuck do you mean, where do they go?” Reiner says, voice incredulous. 

“Like in the bowl? Because if you’re sitting on the toilet, they have to go somewhere?” Sasha repeats. 

“Sasha. It’s almost one in the morning. Please stop talking about balls.” Ymir groans, earning a good amount of laughs from the group. 

“Eren, tell them all to shut the fuck up.” Jean groans, forearm over his eyes as he and Mikasa roll around on their mattress. 

Eren looks at you, eyes weary, before he turns to respond to them. 

“Y/N’s here.”

They all peek their heads up, curious eyes falling on you, as you give them a halfhearted smile, trying your best to wipe your sweaty palms on the back of your dress. 

“Hi guys.” 

The silence is deafening. You can’t pick what’s worse - Reiner and Bertholdt squinting their eyes at you or Mikasa and Jean refusing to look at you. 

Mikasa and Jean. 

Historia stands up, strutting over from her air mattress, to wrap her arms around you, the pressure of the hug so hard you can barely breathe. You breathe in her smell, spicy and sharp the way it’s always been, as she pulls away. Her warm hand is resting on your cheek, the smile on her face so genuine that it untangles the smallest parts of discomfort on your chest. 

“Hi princess. Missed you.” 

“Thanks, Hisu. I missed you too.” 

That’s always been the thing about Historia. That she’ll pick up, even when you haven’t called her in two years, and run to your aid. 

“How’d you know we were here?” Jean asks, hands resting on his knees. 

“I asked Historia.” you respond. 

“Told you I was her favorite. She reached out to me before you.” Historia mutters, flopping back onto the air mattress she’s sharing with Ymir. 

“You’re so arrogant, Historia. And full of shit.” Jean responds, rolling his eyes.

“You’re so right, Jean-Boy. This is just like what we fought about earlier.” Connie responds. 

The group of them break out into an argument, Historia looking like she’s full on about to wrestle Connie as he only instigates her on. Mikasa’s already resting with her eyes closed as Jean turns pink in the face from his irritations. 

And you can’t help but laugh, warm tingling in your chest at all of them, wholeheartedly the same. You look over at Eren and smile, which he returns. But despite it all, that stillness, that outsider feeling sits in your skin. Because despite them being the same, the striking differences in the room tell you things are wholeheartedly different too. 

“Okay. Where’s the extra air mattress?” Eren asks. 

Connie turns, eyes wide, as he gives the two of you a sheepish smile. 

“Really funny story. Sooooo….” 

“God. What did you do?” Eren groans. 

“Long story short, I was thinking about waterbeds. If you pop a water bed, it should be like a waterfall right? So if it’s an air mattress, it should be like an inflatable air balloon thing. Like the weird noodle guys at the car store? Right? So, I tried to pop it. And succeeded.” Connie responds, rambling. 

“Was it cool?” you ask. 

“Ugh. Not at all, princess.” Connie responds. 

You smile, perhaps bigger than you should at Connie using your old nickname, as Eren starts yelling at him. 

“You should be the one to sleep on the floor since you’re the one who ruined the mattress.” Eren states. 

“She should sleep on the floor. She got here last!” Connie responds. 

“She just threw up. And she wasn’t going to sleep on the floor regardless.” 

“Is she contagious?” Connie responds. 

“Connie!” 

Eren rolls his eyes as Mikasa stands up, shuffling to your side and lightly tugging your arm. You look at her, taking her shorter hair in, as you give her a smile. 

“Hey. Want to go change? Your old clothes should still be here, don’t know how well they’ll fit.” 

Eren breaks out of his conversation, leaning forward to where the two of you are talking, to interject. 

“What’s mine is yours. Take mine if you need to.” he says, before returning in full flesh to the argument he’s having with Connie. You can tell they’re both joking from the way they’re trying not to laugh as you start to walk away. 

The two of you quietly pad down the length to the two doors, directly across from each other, as you take in the scribbled signs switched. Your old room now reads Jean and Mikasa with Connie’s handwriting scribbled underneath inscribing please fuck quietly on the door. And consequently, Eren’s room now reads Eren and Y/N with Sasha’s handwriting scribbled underneath reading yall are fucked UP for this. 

You turn to Mikasa and give her a weird look. 

“Right. We’ve been here for a week, actually. Table reading season four stuff. Jean and I want to share a room so we moved all of his stuff to your room and your stuff to Eren’s room. We’ll put it back.” Mikasa states, pushing open the door to Eren’s room as she starts rummaging through your old drawers in the closet. 

“No, no. It’s okay. I wouldn’t want to impose on you guys when you’re almost about to be newlyweds?” you ask. 

“Yeah. Yeah, next year. And we just moved it because we thought you weren’t going to come back. And Eren didn’t want to toss your stuff and all.” she responds. She pulls out a shirt, most definitely from when you’re fifteen, as you both snicker at the size and she keeps digging. 

You walk around Eren’s room, your room too now, as you eye all the boxes filled with your things, tangled in with Eren’s clothes lying around on every open surface. You take a seat at his desk as you start inspecting his little bulletin board, the pictures underneath the pins. 

One of him, Lana, and Sukuna - the three of them smoldering at the camera. Eren and Connie smiling, Eren and a little kid with short curly hair, and two pictures of you. The first one is of you and him sleeping on set and the other is the two of you with Falco, both of you crouching down to his height and hugging him from behind.

And hanging around both of the pins are your friendship bracelets, which you take off the hooks to inspect. 

So that’s where it went. In all of the fire of moving around so much, jumping from one place to another, you always thought you lost it. But you must have left it here all along.

You run your hands over the beads, yours and Eren’s names, as Mikasa gives you a head shake, indicating she didn’t find anything. 

“S’okay. I’ll look through Eren’s stuff I guess.” you murmur. 

Mikasa nods as she leans against Eren’s desk, hands crossed over her chest, as the silence hangs in between the two of you. She takes one of the bracelets from your hands, twisting the beads in her fingers, as you do the same with yours. 

You find solace in the fact that Mikasa is still wearing her engagement ring - a constant in the sparring mix of changes you just witnessed in the room. 

Connie sober. Ymir and Historia sharing a mattress. Eren and Connie getting along. Mikasa and Jean even tolerating being in the same room as Eren. In the same room as you. And the jarring absence of Marco. 

“How are you?” Mikasa asks. 

“Okay, Mika. How are you?” 

Mikasa sinks down, sitting flat on the floor as she hikes her knees to her chest. You follow suit, dropping from your chair to sit next to her, lacing your arm through hers as you both blankly stare at the floor ahead of you, picking what topic to broach first. 

I missed you. I’m sorry I haven’t talked to  you in two years. Our friend is dead. Eren is here. 

“The engagement party looked beautiful, Mikasa.” 

She smiles, leaning her head against yours. 

“Thank you, Y/N. It was quite nice actually.” 

“I watched it on Vogue. Cried quite a bit.” you respond. 

She laughs, rolling her eyes at you as she lightly shoves you. 

“Should’ve come then. Cried in real time.” 

You swallow hard, cheeks warm, as you squeeze her hand. You know she’s joking, but the guilt runs too deep. 

“I’m sorry for not coming. I-I really wish I was there. And I know there’s no justification for it but-” 

“We aren’t mad at you. Jean and I.” she clarifies. 

“I’d understand if you were. I’m your best friend. I’ve-I’ve been with you guys since the start and-” 

Mikasa’s hands are soft on your shoulders, tears gathering in her eyes, as she looks at you, eyes pinched in pain.

“You had every right to not come. To be done with this. What they did to you, to Eren- Y/N, god.” 

You swallow hard. 

“It didn’t warrant me not coming to you-” 

“It did. You don’t even know the half of it. You-you and Eren. You just-” 

There’s a knocking at the door and Eren pads in, eyes wide as he sees you and Mikasa on the floor, tears gathered in her eyes and your limbs tangled together. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I can come back.” 

“No, no. It’s okay, Eren. Her clothes are too small. I can go grab mine for her if you two want to talk-” her words pointed, the emphasis on the last words hard. 

“No, don’t bother Mikasa.” he responds, disappearing into his closet to find a pair of clothes for you. 

Mikasa turns back to you, giving your cheek a pinch. 

“I’ll make Jean sleep on the floor if Connie doesn’t give up his mattress. It’ll be like old times.” she responds, shuffling out of the room as you stay on your spot on the floor.

You hike your knees to your chest as you twist the beads in your fingers again, Eren’s name that you used to wear on your wrist almost every day foreign in your fingers. 

“Eren. We’re going to be late.” you groan, impatiently tapping your foot on the ground as you wait for him by the door. 

The two of you are already thirty minutes late to Erwin’s going away party, the last car waiting to take the two of you, Marco, and Annie out to the little soiree that Erwin is throwing for himself - in celebration of him being killed off. 

“Sorry, sorry. Looking for my bracelet.” he responds, darting back and forth from different corners of the room. 

“Well, hurry up. Annie’s getting pissed.” 

“I found yours! But where is mine?” 

You look down at your wrist to find the pink beads on your wrist, spelling out your name against your pulse point in your wrist. 

“Oops, sorry. I’m wearing yours.” you respond. 

Eren’s quick to walk over to where you’re standing on the door - giving you enough time to groan at how haphazardly he got ready for the party. His tie is loose against his neck, hair all messy as you reach up to fix it. 

“God, Eren. At least brush your hair.” 

“Quit moving your hands.” 

Eren takes his hand in yours, quickly sliding the bracelet off your wrist and switching it with the one in his hand. 

“Well, get ready properly. Your tie isn’t even on right.” you respond, irritated as you reach forward to tighten the fabric and smooth down his collar. 

“And if I told you I put it on wrong just so you would fix it, what would you think?” 

“That you’re asking for a death sentence from Annie for wasting time.” 

He rolls his eyes, reaching up to lift the hand he just placed the bracelet on. His thumb is straight against your pulse point, blood pulsating under the spot, as he lifts his hand to leave a kiss right there. 

“And that it’s cute that you did that.” 

He gives you a wide grin, locking your hands together as you both rush out the door. 

Eren shuffles out, sitting across from you as he puts the stack of clothes between you and hikes his knees to his chest. He holds his hand out and you place the bracelet in his hand. 

“You left it in the bathroom.” 

You nod as you try to steady your mind - still running a hundred miles per hour and overstimulated from seeing everyone again. From how familiar it all feels, how easy it all is to fall back into this despite how different things are. 

How you and Eren are miles apart, how you haven’t talked to them all in months, how Marco is dead. That Marco’s death is suspending all of you in a weird state of reality, that every angry word spoken and every bit of harshness seems miniscule now.

“Do you want me to leave?” Eren asks. 

“No.” you shrug. 

“Do you want to talk?” 

“No.”

Eren nods, counting each of the beads on the bracelet, as you both sit there in the silence, letting your eyes float around the room as you let your mind wander. 

Marco and Colt playing chess everyday when he visited you in Canada, Marco falling for every stupid joke that Connie played on him, the way you all cried when Marco died in the show, Marco at the awards show. 

“Eren?” 

“Yes, Y/N?” 

“Do you remember the first time we kissed?” 

The question takes Eren off guard. He debates it then and there - telling you the truth full and whole - on the basis that he can’t handle the way you’re looking at him. At the fact that you even asked that, at the implication that you thought he could ever forget. 

“Of course. On set, in the-” 

“No, no. I mean, for real.” 

“At the awards show.” Eren responds, without a beat. 

“Yeah.” 

Eren leans forward, wrapping his hands around your neck and pressing his lips to yours. You can still feel people moving around you, setting up things for the closing part of the ceremony, but the only thing you’re paying attention to is Eren. And his lips. And the way he’s pulling you closer, like he can’t get enough of you. 

When you pull apart, you’re both panting, smiling at each other. 

“Thank god. If I got cock-blocked from kissing you a third time, I was actually going to commit a murder.” 

“You want me so bad.” you say, sarcastically. 

“Obviously.” 

You both smile and turn to the left, to a very smiley Marco staring at you two. And then you cringe, remembering that you and Eren are literally backstage and there’s like seven people who just watched you suck face. Marco walks up, wrapping his arms around both of you and hugging hard. 

“I love you guys.” 

“Marco. Don’t-” Eren starts.

“I’m not going to tell anyone. You need time to figure whatever is going on, without Connie and and Sasha up your ass the entire time. But I’m really, really happy for you.” 

“Really, Marco?” you ask, leaning into Eren’s touch. 

“It’s always been you guys. You guys better not break up or else I’ll come hunt both of you down. And if I’m dead, I’ll come back to life just to haunt you guys.” 

“Do you think he’s haunting us?” 

Eren frowns, the memory refreshing in his head. One he thought of a few days ago, lingering on the fact that Marco’s probably turning in grave right now. Granted, Marco was very vehement about his stance on you two - your interview and what Eren did, making Marco so agonizingly and uncharacteristically angry that it bothers him now. 

For not listening to him. That if he does ever get to cross that bridge with you, at least be your friend again, that Marco won’t ever know. 

“I just don’t understand why you won’t just go out there and tell her. You know where she lives.” Marco states, irritated. 

“Because I just can’t, Marco! You watched the interview!” 

“The entire song was about how she forgave you. How she isn’t holding a grudge against you. And-and the way she was talking about it, some part of her knows that other people had something to do with this, Eren. She knows deep down.” 

“The interview was fucking horrible. This entire thing, this thing that I did, fucked her up so bad that she isn’t even doing this anymore. This was all she wanted, ever since she was a kid, she-she was so determined and she gave it up because I said all those things, because I did what I did.” 

“Eren. It’s more compl-” 

“No, it’s not. And she fucking hates me. You should have seen how upset she was at the awards show…..I-I ruined it for her. I ruined her entire dream, Marco.” 

“God, Eren. Your tunnel vision is insane. You’re not even giving her a fighting chance when she doesn’t even know the truth!” he says. 

“Maybe haunting is too mean of a word. I think he’d be happy to see us together, right now. Even if the circumstances aren’t the best.” he responds. 

You smile, giving him a nod. 

“He always did like playing cupid, didn’t he?” 

“At the engagement party, he walked around telling everyone that Jean and Mikasa were only dating because of him.” 

“That’s a lie.” you state. 

“No one believed him.” Eren responds. 

The two of you fall into silence again, resting your chins on your knees, as more thoughts swim through your head, pain so palpable it’s sitting in your chest. That if Marco were here, he’d be prancing in and giving you two devious smirks, lovingly teasing both of you. Pulling both of you aside, saying that bygones should be bygones if you still love each other. 

You look up at him, watch his eyes flutter open and close, as he fidgets with his hands. 

You still love him. 

“Can we be civil for the weekend? Like…like you’re not Eren and I’m not Y/N, we’re just-” you sutter.

Your question falls short, hanging in the air as you watch the gears in Eren’s head turn. 

“I just mean. So many things happened between us. And I know there’s hurt there, on your part and maybe mine too, but…..I don’t want us to be mad at each other at the funeral. Or after.” 

You swallow hard. 

“I’d hate for one of us to die being mad at each other. Without having talked in years.” you whisper. 

Eren gets it. The guilt that must be wracking you for not talking to Marco, when you were one of the people who was closest to him. He reaches forward, taking your hand in his, as he fidgets with your fingers. 

“He knows you loved him, Y/N.”

He watches the tears pour down your eyes, face pink and eyes swollen, as you talk. 

“Did he? Because I ignored his texts. For years. He texted me happy birthday, asked how Falco was doing, wanted to know if I watched Halloweentown on October first like I always do, if I was happy, if I wanted to talk and-” 

He squeezes your hand, pulling out his phone, as he scoots to the space next to you. He tries to still the pounding of his heart as you lace your arm through his, leaning your head against his. 

“He knows, Y/N.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

“I was with him. I talked to him quite often after….after everything that happened. I promise you, he knows you loved him.” 

You shake your head, guilt sitting in your head. 

“I have something for you.” he murmurs. 

“What is it?” 

“It’s from a few years ago. I think he was really, really drunk.” 

He hands you his phone, open to a voicemail from Marco, as you wipe the tears on your phone and press play. His voice comes through the speaker booming and giggling and hiccuping as he talks. 

“Eren. Eren! Fuck, I love you so much dude. You’re-you’re such a guy. Like I-I just see you and think hmmmm. That’s a guy. Are you with Y/N? Tell her I love her. She’s my best friend. You’re all my best friends. I’m so happy I got to grow up with all of you. Oh, Connie just threw up on the floor, oh Connie- hey, stop! Okay, love you brother, I have to go.” 

The voice cuts off abruptly, as you laugh. 

“Never could hold his drink, could he?” 

“Not everyone can be alcoholics like Jean and Mikasa.” 

You both laugh, chest aching from how familiar, how soft this feels. That you’re both sitting in this room, where you grew up, fell in love, slept next to each other every night. Eren can see the tears welling in your eyes, thinking of his best efforts to stop it, at whatever is plaguing your mind. 

“So. You said you’re not Y/N and I’m not Eren. So who are we?” he asks. 

“I meant that metaphorically, you’re-” 

You watch Eren’s eyes flit around his room, scanning till he stops around his bookshelf, and turns back to glance at you. 

“Your new name is Margaret.” 

“Ew. And I didn’t mean it like that, Eren.” 

“Who is Eren? My name is….” he responds, giving you a smile as he elongagates the syllables waiting for your response. 

You roll your eyes. 

“Bruce. Your name is Bruce.” 

“Bruce Wayne!” 

“No. Not like Bruce Wayne. Think of someone really boring. Irritating, agitating.” 

“Perfect! I’ll just think of you after five shots of tequila.” 

You both laugh as Eren stands up, holding a hand out to pull you up. He sets the stack of clothes in your hand as he makes a move to walk out of the room. Except he hangs on the door for a second, voice soft when he talks. 

“Does Bruce have permission to say something?” 

“Sure.” 

“I know he technically just met Margaret because she was born a minute ago, but he missed her. A lot.” 

You feel your cheeks burn as you give him a nod, murmuring a quiet me too before sinking into the bathroom to slip his clothes on. 

Connie, does in fact, not give up the mattress. Jean and Eren begrudgingly share as you and Mikasa cuddle into the night. 

--

You wake up first, to find Mikasa sprawled over your entire frame. Her entire body is burning hot and you send a silent prayer to the world's strongest soldier, Jean Kirschtein, for putting up with this for so long. After you all but free yourself from her grasp, you spare a quick glance to see Jean must be smothering Eren more than Mikasa was you and silently muse that the two of them truly are made for each other. 

You pad down to the kitchen, yanking the hood of Eren’s hoodie over your head, to find Connie sitting at the table, scribbling away in a journal, a steaming bowl of oatmeal next to him. 

“Good morning, Con.’” 

He looks up, one of his hands going instinctively to cover what he was writing as you take the seat next to him, crossing your legs up on the chair. He immediately relaxes, giving you a bright smile.

“Good morning, princess. You can have some if you want.” 

“No, no. I don’t want to impose.” 

“What’s mine is yours.” he says, mimicking Eren’s voice. 

You snort, reaching for his spoon, as you take a bite of the warm food, soothing the stiffness in your throat. 

“Sleep well?” he asks. 

“Mikasa basically strangled me all night.” 

“Ew. Of course she has the cuddle bug. I swear, Jean and Mikasa were always goo goo ga ga, but they’re even worse now.” 

“They’re getting married, Connie. It’s sweet.” 

He smiles, sliding the string through the pages, as he turns to you giving you a smile. 

“Yeah. It is sweet.” he responds, voice quiet. 

Connie swallows hard, eyes weary as he turns to you. 

“I want to apologize.” Connie says. 

The elephant in the room. He’s the first one to touch it. 

“Oh. That’s okay, I under-” 

“No, no. It’s not okay.” he responds, tone almost harsh. 

You and Armin share a look the second he breaks the frame, glass shattering over the length of Armin’s apartment. 

“Why the fuck would you guys bring me here?” Connie asks, sweat beading his forehead. 

From the way he’s moving, all erratic and nonsensical, it makes you think that it’s out of his system. That if Connie had a chance, this would be when he would sneak off to the bathroom to get his fix. But he’s nowhere near that, instead settled into Armin’s tiny New York apartment, screaming at the two of you. 

“Connie. You asked us too.” you respond. 

“I was fucking high! Why would you guys even entertain a word I said?” Connie states, voice even more agitated now. 

“Connie. You…you need help. We looked at some rehab places while you were asleep and-” 

“Rehab? I’m not going to rehab. Are you trying to ruin my fucking career, Armin?” 

“No, but we want to make sure you’re okay. They’ll be discrete, we’ll make sure the security detail is good so that you can be better and-” 

“I am fucking fine. Do I look like I need help?” 

You and Armin share a weary glance, before looking back at him. 

“Connie. We love you. We-we just want to help you, okay?” you say. 

“Does it ever embarrass you when you do this, Y/N?” Connie says, voice laced with venom. 

“Sorry?” 

“Does you not think it’s embarrassing to beg like this in front of people who don’t fucking care about you the way you do about them? I figured that Eren putting you in your place like that would set you straight but it seems like you didn’t learn your lesson, did you?” 

You swallow hard, eyes and skin burning as Connie waits for your response. 

“You don’t mean that. You-you’re just mad because you can’t be high right now.” you murmur. 

“Am I, Y/N? Or is it true?” 

“It’s not true. This isn’t you, Connie.” 

“God, Y/N. Wake the fuck up. We aren’t fifteen anymore. No ones sitting here holding your hand telling you that you’ll be the best anymore. I get that you need that ego boost to move forward but I sure as hell am not going to be the one to give it to you.” 

“Connie, that’s enough-” 

Connie swallows hard, eyes focused on his fingers as he talks. 

“I know-I know that I said it wasn’t true. But I really did say all of those things because I was high. Or because I wanted to be high and was in withdrawal and-” 

“I know that, Connie. I’ve never held it against you.” 

He frowns, twisting his pen to his fingers. 

“You always give grace even when you don’t know the whole story. Me, Hisu, Eren.” he murmurs. 

“You deserve it…and I partially knew. I mean, addiction is a disease. It hurt at first but that wasn’t your fault. You just needed to be treated and helped and I’m glad you did.” 

He smiles, resting his cheek against his hand. 

“Thank you, Y/N. Don’t mind me if I spend the rest of my life asking for forgiveness. I won’t ever feel like I deserve it but I’ll keep asking anyway.” he murmurs. 

“I’ll always give it to you.” you respond, squeezing his shoulder. 

You silently wonder that if you ever did come back, sans funeral, if things would be like this. If you and Eren could pretend, if Mikasa and Jean could look past it all. Because some parts of it, they feel earnest, truthful. But you can’t tell if you’re all suspended in some disbelief, clouded by your grief and trying to cling onto one of the things Marco loved most. His time on the show, with you all. 

“Honey when I’m above the trees, I SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS.” Connie sings, screams. 

“Oh my god, Connie.” you deadpan. 

He’s singing happiness. Like the happiness you sang in your interview, when you forgave Eren. 

“THERE’LL BE HAPPINESS AFTER YOU. BUT THERE WAS HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF YOUUUU. BOTH OF THESE THINGS CAN BE TRUE, THERE IS HAPPINESS.” 

You clamp your hand flat against his mouth, trying not to snicker, as he continues to sing underneath your hand. 

“Are you insane? They’re all sleeping.” you whisper. 

“Not anymore we’re not.” Ymir responds, immediately smacking Connie against the head. 

“You’re going to give Eren a nightmare, Connie.” Historia mutters, dragging her feet into the kitchen as Ymir follows. 

“I’m already living it.” Eren grumbles, leaning against the counter as he splits a PopTart with Jean. 

Slowly but surely, every one of them shuffles down to the room, the deja vu of the situation hitting deep as each person follows suit. Sasha ambles down after a few minutes, finishing off the bowl of oatmeal that you and Connie were sharing while Reiner and Bertholdt murmur quietly over the coffee cup. Eren’s in hushed conversation with Jean and Mikasa, fixing himself breakfast, as Hange and Levi wander into the room, immediately thrown off by all of you in there. 

“Jesus.” Levi says, tone exasperated. 

“Good morning, Levi.” Mikasa says, gesturing to the water boiling on the kettle for his tea. He gives her a grateful smile, taking a seat in his corner as Hange talks to the group of you. Connie’s resorted to cracking all of your knuckles since his are all worn out as they go on. 

“Good morning kiddos!” 

“Don’t….do such a cheery voice, Hange.” Levi says, sighing. 

Hange’s smile falters, before dropping all together, and giving a thoughtful nod. Eren shuffles over to your side, taking the seat next to yours as he places a steaming bowl of ramen in front of you. 

“Oh. Thank you, Eren.” 

“Who?” 

You roll your eyes as Eren smiles, reaching forward to flick your cheek. 

“Bruce.” 

“Bruce, indeed.” he responds. 

Eren knows he’s in treacherous waters. That this line you’ve drawn, that you’re not you and he’s not himself, works almost too well for Eren’s purposes. That he can pretend, in earnest, that none of the things he said happened. That you and him are just as you always were, untouched in the bubble you were always in when you lived here. . 

“The funeral is tomorrow, as we all know. The Bodt’s have requested that we get there ten minutes before the service, so be on time tomorrow. Bertholdt, Sasha, I’m looking at both of you. ” 

You all nod, humming in response, as you start digging into the bowl, switching off with Connie and Sasha who are both trying to monopolize the only real food in a five feet radius. 

“That being said…” Hange says, swallowing hard. 

They’re pacing back and forth almost, teetering on their ankles, when they talk. And when they finish explaining - autopsy report in hand and the gut punch sticking in your chest - you all sit there, blankly staring. 

And wander in silence for the rest of the day. 

It was one thing that Marco died. And an entirely different one that he was killed. 

--

“Someone go get Eren, we only have thirty minutes.” Levi says, everyone lingering in the kitchen and the living room, in a sea of black. 

Almost everyone is here now - Erwin, Armin, even Eren’s parents - all lingering around as you wait to head to the funeral. You give a curt nod to Levi and march out to the pavement, pebbles crunching under your feet as you make your way to set. 

Eren’s been in there since last night, never retreating to the room to change into his pajamas before he settled down on the couch downstairs. Despite your protests, he refuses to sleep in the same room as you. Or let you sleep anywhere else besides Jean’s old bed in his room. 

You let the pebbles crunch under your feet, ignoring the sting as you pass the tandem bike, and slip onto the set. You can see new costumes designs printed against the walls, storyboards with Levi and Hange’s handwriting on them as you make your way to the back towards the piano.

When you see him, that rage, simmering warm in your stomach over the past twenty-four hours, the deep-seated pain of Marco dying alone, crying out for help, comes to a head when you see Eren. Because he’s sitting at the bench, with his book propped up against the stand, and a bottle of pills in his hands. 

You march up to where he’s standing, crossing your hands across your chest as you all but glare at him. 

“Oh. Hey, you look-” 

“Are you serious?” 

You watch his face scrunch up in confusion, that stupid look on his face aggravating you even more. His tie is unkempt, his hair is messy - he’s always so haphazard with these things. 

“You’re doing pills in here before Marco’s funeral. Are you fucking serious?” 

He looks down, at the bottle in his hand and stands up, and swallows hard when he looks at you. 

“Wait-” 

“No. No, for once, you’re going to listen to me. You-you’re sick. Marco’s dead. You can’t even give it to him to be fully there while we say goodbye? This means that much to you?” you spit, watching him shut his eyes. 

“Y/N.” 

“How could you do this? To him? To me?” 

He reaches forward, hands on your shoulders as he squeezes, and your eyes burn like acid. And every feeling, building up over the past few days, comes tumbling out. 

“Why did he have to leave us, Eren? We didn’t get enough time with him. He was only twenty-four, he didn't even get to grow old. He was supposed to die, years from now, so happy, so-so surrounded by people he loved.”

Eren forgoes the rational thought. He reaches forward fully, snaking his arms around you as he cradles your head into his frame, trying his best to stifle your cries into his shoulder. 

“And you. He would hate that you were doing this. I hate that you’re doing this. You-you don’t have to. There are other things that can make you happy or-or fix whatever it is that’s wrong.” 

“Y/N.” 

“What, Eren?” 

He pulls back, reaching for the pill bottle, and placing it in the palm of your hand. You read the label, immediately embarrassed and ashamed of your reaction. 

Eren Jaeger *Lexapro 5 mg  Take one tablet by mouth with the morning meal.

“Oh my god, Eren. I’m so sorry, I-” 

You pull back, sitting down on the bench, as you dig your fingers into your temples, trying to stop that pulsating feeling under your skin. The rage, the feeling, coursing through you so hard that you can’t even pick what you’re mad at. 

You’re breathing panic in and out, chest heaving, as Eren takes a seat next to you, leaning his elbows on his knees. And the feeling, it lands on feeling overwhelmingly embarrassed. Because Eren’s not doing drugs, he’s taking anti-anxiety pills. 

“Eren. I’m so sorry. That was so horrible of me, I thought it was-” 

“You thought it was like Connie.” he finishes

“Yeah. And I’m sorry for assuming, I just-” 

“I’m not mad at you. You were just trying to take care of me. I appreciate it.” 

You groan, embarrassment still coursing through you, as you lean your forehead straight against the piano, the smell of the ink on Eren’s book permeating your nose.  

“Do you remember that birthday party of mine I told you about? When I was ten, at my old house in New York? It was when we were in Australia.” 

You nod. 

“I remember feeling it. A paralyzing block in my chest, like I couldn’t move. And when I was able to move, it was only because it all came rushing to me, so panicked, so fast that I-I didn’t even register what happened.” 

He was barely even ten. You lift your hands to his shoulders, squeezing hard, as he continues. 

You’re here and you’ve got him. 

“I didn’t tell anyone. I thought something was wrong with me. I thought that people feel this way, that it’s normal, but I just felt too much of it. That I just can’t handle things the way normal people do.” 

You frown, reaching up to cup the side of his face. Your fingers brush over his dimples, soft under your fingers, as you talk. 

“Eren. There is nothing wrong with you. That’s just an anxiety attack.” you whisper. 

You’re not sure what it is about what you said but when you look up, there are soft tears flowing down Eren’s cheek, the voice coming out of his mouth so garbled you can barely understand what he’s saying. 

“Hey, Eren.” you whisper, 

“No. No, no. Stop.” 

Eren stands up, retreating to the other side of the piano, where he’s leaning over, his entire frame heaving up and down as you walk to his side. 

“Why are you-” 

“I don’t want you to help me. You shouldn’t be helping me.” he says, his voice shuddering. 

“Why not?” you ask, frowning. 

“I’ve been horrible to you. I don’t deserve your help. You-you should be cussing me out, so mad that you can’t stand me, that you want me to suffer and you’re not. And it’s agonizing for me that you aren’t.” 

You walk up behind him, wrapping your arms around him from the back, as you feel him sigh. You lean your cheek flat against his shoulder, squeezing as hard as you can as Eren continues to cry, fists clenched so tight on the piano that white. 

“You’re not you and I’m not me. We agreed on that.” you murmur. 

“Y/N. We can’t-” 

“Who?” 

He snickers, amidst his tears, as he turns around, and you slot your arms under his. You can feel his heart thumping under your ear, loud and fast, as you place your hand over the spot. The two of you stay that way for some time, Eren's tears falling onto you, as you try your best to remedy whatever it is that's burning inside of him.

“Just calm down and breathe. Falco says it always helps to talk about something else, when he feels like this.” 

He tenses at the mention of Falco, which you realize was a mistake. 

“Why were you in here?” you ask. 

“The Bodt’s asked me to write a song for the service.” 

The perfect distraction.

“Can you sing it for me?” you ask. 

He looks down, green eyes - full and round - as he nods, shuffling towards the piano bench as you take the seat next to him. You can see that the lyrics are scribbled on the book resting against the stand, the paper stiff from blotches of Eren’s tears. He starts playing the piano, his voice echoing on the walls of the set. 

And if I didn't know better I'd think you were talking to me now If I didn't know better I'd think you were still around What died didn't stay dead What died didn't stay dead You're alive, you're alive in my head What died didn't stay dead What died didn't stay dead You're alive, so alive

You rest your hands against the keys next to his, slowly following his pace, as he continues to sing, the hum of his voice filling the air. You can’t help but think it. That he’s beautiful. That this is your Eren, miles away from whoever he was when you saw him last. 

I should've asked you questions I should've asked you how to be Asked you to write it down for me Should've kept every grocery store receipt 'Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me

You can feel the tears flowing down your cheeks now, straight onto the piano keys and your hands, as you cry. 

And if I didn't know better I'd think you were singing to me now If I didn't know better I'd think you were still around I know better But I still feel you all around I know better But you're still around

When you and Eren get to the service, you walk hand in hand to the piano. And play the song together, for Marco and Marco only. 

--

You knock on the door, padding into the room to find Levi, hunched over his computer and leaning his hand on his cheek. You take the seat next to him, crossing your legs against the chair, as he looks over at you, expressionless. 

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” you say. 

Four days after the funeral and all of them have cleared out. Forced to go back to wherever they were before, to push down the beating pain and move forward. The grief, perhaps it did suspend reality for the rest of you. Leave you to pretend that nothing that happened was real, that you were still teenagers running around on this set together. 

That wasn’t how it was for Levi. Because in almost a week of being there, he had yet to talk to you with a straight face. 

“What are you working on, Levi?” you ask, cracking your knuckles. 

He turns the laptop towards you, one of the old hard drives from the earlier seasons pulled up on his computer. He plays the video, one of Jean sitting in a chair behind the green backdrop. 

“Okay, Jean. Tell me your goal for the end of the show.” Levi asks. 

The video, Jean must be barely sixteen, wearing one of the old costumes from season one. You remember now, that Hange was insistent on documenting everything - that you all were going to grow up so fast that they should keep videos. Obviously, Hange is too disorganized to do it themselves, so Levi bit the bullet and did it for them. 

“I don’t know. That’s so far away, Levi.” he groans, scrunching up his forehead. 

“Just answer, Jean. Where do you see yourself at the end of the show, when you’re in your twenties?” 

“With Mikasa.” he responds. 

You both smile as Levi switches to the next videos, the two of you watching all of them in silence. 

“I want to be myself. That’s all I want to be, not embarrassed or ashamed, I-I just want to be me.” Historia says, smiling into the camera. 

“I don’t know. That’s a weird question, Levi.” Mikasa grumbles, glaring at him. 

“You’re horrible, Mikasa. Jean said he wants to be with you.” Levi responds. 

“Well, that’s a given. Of course, I’m going to be with Jean.” she responds, giving one last eye roll to the camera. 

“Doing something important. That means something to people.” Connie responds. 

You swallow hard, as you see Eren, fifteen and so smiley, as he crawlsl onto the little stool.

“My turn?” Eren asks, giving Levi a bright smile. 

“Yes, kid. Your turn. Why else would you be sitting here?” 

“Okay. This is a secret so don’t tell anyone.” he says. 

“I’m not broadcasting to a news channel, Eren. Just hurry up, I still have to get through half of you.” 

Eren nods, reaching up to fix his hair, before he talks - his voice filled with that confident resolve, that one he always sported when he was fifteen.

“I want to get the Best Actor in a Lead role award. And on the same night, I want Y/N to become a triple threat. And then I want us to tell her that I told her so. Me and her, at the top.” he says, giving the camera a bright smile, before jumping off. 

The next one is of you, what you said being entirely lost to you in your memories. 

“What do I want to do when I'm in my twenties? Hm.” you echo. 

“Today would be nice.” Levi deadpans. 

“Well, I don’t know! That’s so broad. I want to be doing stuff like this. Acting, making music, To have people enjoy the work I make, and making it with my friends, like Eren and Mikasa and Armin. I want to be here, more than anything. It feels so right to me, that I get to do this. It’s special, it’s a privilege and I’m really thankful I get to do it.” 

“Note to anyone watching. This is one of our only kids with manners.” Levi says, setting the camera down to give you a hug. 

You bite down on your cheek, looking over at Levi, as he plays the last one. Of Marco. 

“Okay, Marco. What do you want to do when you’re in your twenties?” 

“Well. I know what I’m going to be doing.” Marco says, crossing his arms against his chest. 

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” 

“See. Spoiler alert, but Hange and Levi just killed me off this show. But we made a deal. That I get to be in each season, even if its a super minor role like a flashback or whatever. So in my twenties, I’ll be here. Surrounded by all my childhood best friends, making this show that’s always meant so much to us.” 

You swallow hard as Levi wraps his arms around you, the two of you watching Marco’s smiley face disappear from the screen. 

“So I’ll see you in four months? For season four?” 

“Damn right you will.” you respond. 

And for the first time in a week, Levi breaks a smile. 

“Good.”

--

next part linked here

an, again: SEASON FOUR ERA (this shit abt to be so awkward when they're not all sad/grieving )

taglist: @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly-y-blog @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi

[coffeeandbatboys]

In The Endgame (Peter Quill x reader)

A/N it took me an hour to find this specific GIF lol

Request: from Anon

hiii i saw you were taking requests for peter quill and was wondering if you could write something that takes place during endgame where everyone who got blipped comes back and peter and reader reunite since he got blipped but she didnt? just super emotional and fluffy? thank uuuuuu <3

Warnings: angst, fluff, emotion

No...

This wasn't supposed to happen.

You weren't supposed to die in space.

None of you were.

But Thanos had taken Gamora, and Peter, Drax, Mantis, and two of the Avengers you'd met all turned to dust right in front of you.

Your heart suddenly broke, knowing that Groot and Rocket were with Thor.

And now you were stuck in space with Nebula and Tony Stark.

Two people you were not incredibly fond of.

Once you were rescued and brought back to Earth, you learned that Rocket was alive, but Groot hadn't made it.

"What the hell happened to us, Kid?"

And even though he wouldn't admit it to anyone but you, he cried.

You cried for months after losing the love of your life.

But in the five years that followed that fateful day, you never moved on.

You kept yourself busy helping Rocket and Nebula to hold the Galaxy together and searching for Thanos while many of the heroes were 'dead'. And then one day, a bug dude showed up and brought the concept of time travel with him.

And this is how you ended up back on Morag in 2014.

It was the first time you'd seen Peter since he dusted. You desperately wanted to run to him and kiss him again, but this wasn't your Peter.

As he danced dramatically to 'Come and Get Your Love', you, Nebula and 'Rhodey'—as you'd been introduced—watched on at the utter ridiculousness.

Rhodey broke this silence.

"So he's an idiot."

You couldn't disagree.

"Yeah." You smiled sadly. "He's my idiot, though."

After all you'd been through there was no turning back now.

Portals opened everywhere in the ruins of the Avengers campus, and that's when you spotted Drax and Mantis, then—

Him. Your sweet, loveable idiot, Peter Quill. Sprinting over to join your found family once again, he spotted you and broke a smile. You returned it, giving him a desperate kiss when you reached him.

"I thought I lost you forever!" You cried, clinging to his jacket.

He looked confused. "It was only a few hours?"

Your head snapped up.

"Uh, try five years."

"What?..." He whispered, eyes widening as if horrified by the concept of you being alone for five years.

You turned towards Mantis and Drax, waving to them with a giddy expression. They both waved back, and you all faced the Mad Titan's army ahead.

And soon, you were right in the thick of it.

Lunging at a nightmarish humanoid creature, you blasted it before turning to cover Peter, who was fighting off two more. Once those were taken care of, you moved in and fought them back to back. Being close to Peter again felt like heaven, even in the battlefield.

Even when you saw all of the Female avengers joining to push back against the army, you were hesitant to leave Peter's side in fear that you'd lose him again.

"Go." He told you with a smile and a kiss. "I'll be here when it's over."

You ran after Mantis and Nebula, spotting...Gamora? You weren't sure how that worked, but you were glad nonetheless. It didn't feel right that Natasha wasn't there, but this, you felt, was to honor her. It was what she would want.

Fighting a pale squid looking thing, you watched over it's shoulder at Carol, the woman who had saved you in space, entering the fight. You cheered wildly and pumped your fist in the air. There was no way you would lose, now.

As you struggled with a Titan monster, you received some help from Groot, who skewered it with a thick branch while you blasted it in the head.

"Thanks, buddy." You high fived him.

"I am Groot."

"It's good to see you too!"

And all of the sudden, the Titans were disappearing.

It was then that you looked over to see Tony, slumped against a piece of wreckage, pale and barely breathing. It hit you that he had just snapped the enemy away, and that had drained everything out of him.

You shared a sad look with Rocket.

As dickish as Tony was, he had a good heart.

And he gave it all to save the world.

Everyone stood in silence as he breathed his last. And then one by one, they began to kneel. A king, a sorcerer, a captain, a soldier, an assassin, all from different backgrounds, honored one man. You kneeled and began to cry, knowing that he had a wife and daughter, one of which would be waiting for him.

After the funeral, you sat at the edge of the lake outside the Stark's cabin. Peter sat down next to you and slid an arm around your waist.

"He didn't have to do that." You bit back tears and leaned into him.

He signed deeply. "I don't think he saw a choice."

You had learned that Gamora, was in fact not the one you knew, but the one that didn't know any of you. The last you'd heard is that she'd run off in a ship from the battlefield.

"I missed you, Peter. You have no idea." You sobbed.

He pulled you closer "I'm sorry you had to go through that, babe."

"I...I couldn't bring myself to move on. You better treat Rocket right, too. He's the only reason I'm still here."

"I'm really glad you didn't. And, were on good terms, trust me."

You chuckled, giving a small smile.

"There it is." Peter crooned, kissing your jaw softly. "Wanna go get Dairy Queen before we head back out there?"

"Hell yeah!" You cheered.

[zoeykallus]

Hello!! Zoey!! How is your day :) ?

If it’s not to much,

can I request hc’s of when the bad batch and their s/o are at a party and some random person is dancing with their s/o, and getting touchy, And the batcher gets extremely jealous. But their s/o is just dancing along with the random person. The batcher pushes the random person away and dances with their s/o

( Gender-neutral reader or female reader is your choice)

Aloha! Tired and cold. How is yours? 😊 Hmmm... 🤔 Let me see...

The Bad Batch x Fem!Reader HCs - When I See You Dance With Another

Warnings: Some Jealousy/Fluff/Some Tension

____________

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

____________

>Master List<

____________

AC: As soon as I wrote that title down, I had this song in my head, although it has nothing to do with what I wrote, aside from the song's title lol

Hunter

He may be surprised at first. He just turned around to get drinks for you and him. But when he comes back, you are dancing with a stranger. Crosshair comes over to him and nudges Hunter softly in the side. "Hey," he calls over the blare of the music, "'Are you going to put up with this?" Hunter shrugs and says, "It's just a dance." " You've got to be kidding," Crosshair growls, "That's how it always starts, it's just a dance, just a smile, just a quick touch, and suddenly you're being cuckolded" Hunter frowns unwillingly and pushes the drinks into Crosshair's hands. Actually, he doesn't want to be goaded, but he doesn't really like the whole thing after all. "Hold this." Crosshair chuckles, "Good boy." Hunter walks onto the dance floor, taps the stranger on the shoulder and says, "Hey, I think I'll relieve you now" The stranger shakes his head dismissively and says arrogantly, "Absolutely not, get lost" You've already seen what's happening, yet you move on to the music, and look at the two of them scrutinizingly. You know Hunter doesn't need your help, and frankly you're curious how the situation will unfold. Hunter taps the stranger's shoulder again, and this time says, "You're dancing with my girl there." "Says who?"

"Says me," Hunter growls, shoving the man aside. "And if you don't want to settle this outside the bar, then you're going to get the hell out of here" For a moment the stranger seems to consider whether the matter is worth the trouble and weigh his chances in a fight against Hunter, but then he turns from you, gritting his teeth, and moves away. Hunter leans toward you and says, "You're having a good time without me?" "I'm just dancing," you say unapologetically with a small smile, dancing a circle around him. Hunter sighs softly, but then says, "Didn't you have anything to say about it?" "You had it all under control, besides I like it when you claim me like this" you return with amusement, putting your arms around his shoulders and snuggling up to him. "Are you mad at me?" Hunter's hands automatically move to your hips. "No, I'm not," he says, finally smiling as the DJ puts on a ballad, and you start moving to the music together.

Echo

He danced with you two to three times, slow, intimate dances. With faster songs, he tends to hold back and rather watch you. He sits at a table from where he can see well onto the dance floor and watch you. Again and again you smile at each other. Echo likes to watch you dance, he likes the way you move. When he watches you like this, he always has the feeling that you are dancing for him alone, although he is of course aware that he is not the only one watching you. But the smile with which you look at him again and again from a distance from the dance floor, that smile belongs to him alone. He sips his drink, keeps an eye on your drink, which is standing by him, so that no one gets the stupid idea to mix something into your drink, and continues to watch you. Wrecker sits down with him and the two of them talk for a while, he's a little distracted, but he still keeps throwing smiling glances at you and you at him. But then mid-sentence, Wrecker interrupts him during the conversation, "Echo look." Echo looks out onto the dance floor, to where Wrecker is pointing, and sees a stranger with you. "Do you know him?" asks Wrecker. Echo frowns critically and shakes his head, "No, I don't think so"

The stranger has joined you, suddenly whirling you around the dance floor, and judging by your surprised expression, it wasn't planned that way. He growls, "I'll be right back," and gets up from the table to head straight for the dance floor. Echo doesn't waste much time, pulling you away from the stranger in mid-turn and shoving him aside. "You don't just dance at someone without being asked," he says harshly. The stranger seems startled at first, then angry, but at the same moment that he's thinking about messing with Echo, he very suddenly decides otherwise and pulls away. When you and Echo turn around, you see why. Wrecker has joined you. As you both blink at him, he asks, shrugging his shoulders, "What? I thought I'd join in, could have been interesting." You laugh and say, "I think I'd rather sit down for a while now, my feet are starting to hurt."

Echo leads you back to the table, onto the bench, pulls you into his arm, extra close, and probes the room. "Are you keeping an eye out for the guy from just now?" you ask, amused. " Well not just that guy," Echo admits, "I've just noticed some looks following you around, I want these people to see that you're here with me." You snuggle up to him, eliciting a smile. "Don't worry, I'll always be only your girl, Echo".

Wrecker

He's relaxed about it, as long as it doesn't get too familiar or make you visibly uncomfortable, Wrecker doesn't interfere, but he keeps an eye on you to make sure no one is forcing themselves on you or anything. "How can you be so relaxed about this?" asks Crosshair, "It would drive me crazy." Wrecker shrugs and says, "I trust her, there's no need to be worried" Crosshair snorts and says, "Is that why you watch her all the time? Because you trust her so much?" Wrecker rolls his eyes and says, "Why are you so tense all the time anyway? I watch her because I don't necessarily trust the people around her, don't know any of them." Crosshair shrugs and disappears towards the bartender to get another drink. When Wrecker looks in your direction again, he suddenly pauses, someone has danced up to you, behind you, you haven't spotted him yet, but he's moving up pretty damn close and Wrecker feels an uncomfortable tingling under his skin. Slowly, he makes his way to the dance floor, keeping an eye on the guy. When he dances so close to you that he finally touches you, you turn around, startled, and Wrecker quickens his steps.

Before you can react, you just see a huge, strong arm coming from the side, shoving the stranger off his feet. At first, the guy wants to get up angrily, but when he sees Wrecker in full dimension, he stays right there and raises his arms placatingly. "Easy there, man, I didn't know she had a partner". Wrecker growls, "Stay away from her" and finally pulls you by the hand from the dance floor to the seating areas. He lifts you off your feet with ease and sits you on his lap, his gaze somberly fixed on the dance floor. You put your arms around his shoulders, gently kissing his cheek and whispering close to his ear, "My hero." His expression softens, his ears a little flushed. "Anytime, my beautiful"

Tech

You can't get him on the dance floor, he feels much too exposed there. But he doesn't mind watching you dance. He has his holopad with him, the drinks are at his table, and he throws a glance at the dance floor every now and then to see if everything is alright with you and to admire you for a while. He smiles shyly back when you smile at him. Tech likes to see how you move, you look so relaxed when you dance. Tech is about to turn back to his holopad, but pauses when he notices a stranger watching you and slowly dancing his way near you. Tech automatically tenses, his fingers stiffly clutching the holopad in his hand. Finally, the strange guy has reached you and dances at you. You put some distance between you, trying to remain polite, but the guy keeps coming close. He doesn't seem to understand your signals at all. Tech sighs in annoyance, puts the holopad back on his belt with a deft move, and gets up from where he's sitting to approach the situation on the dance floor. Hunter and Crosshair, who are sitting at the table, watch the whole thing carefully.

Crosshair mutters to Tech, "Let me know if you need some helping fists." Tech frowns and says, "I'll handle that." Crosshair still wants to follow him, but Hunter puts a hand on his shoulder and holds him back, saying, "Wait and see, maybe things will clear up, if not we'll both go" Reluctantly, Crosshair sits back down. When Tech reaches you on the dance floor, you just politely but firmly tell the stranger, "You're honestly too close to me, it makes me uncomfortable" "Oh come on," the guy coos, "Don't be like that." Tech is seething inside by now, he intervenes as the guy gets too close to you again and pushes him away from you. "The lady said you were too close to her," he says matter-of-factly, but not without a certain combative undertone you're not used to from Tech. "What's it to you?" Tech says, "That's my girlfriend you're hitting on."

The stranger laughs and says challengingly, "And what are you going to do about it?" Tech's gaze briefly wanders to you, seeing your concerned look. "Well, usually I like to choose the most practical solution. But in this case, I'm happy to make an exception. Whatever it takes," he finally tells the stranger calmly, "Shall you and I have a little dance, perhaps? Outside the bar?" The stranger blinks, surprised by Tech's aggressiveness and simultaneous calm, something he clearly didn't expect at first glance. He doesn't quite know where to place him. You can already see, out of the corner of your eye, Hunter and Crosshair slowly getting up from the table, their eyes fixed on the situation, ready to step in. The strange guy seems to think for a moment, but finally waves it off with a snort and backs away. Tech blinks, finally turns to you and says, "That was surprisingly easy." You kiss his cheek and say, "Thank you, darling." Tech smiles, proud to be your hero tonight. "Anytime."

Crosshair

He danced with you for a while, after you persuaded him to do so after what felt like an eternity. But after a while Crosshair has gone back to the bar, ordered a drink and watches you from there, sitting on a bar stool. A reg sits down next to him and says, "Man, did you see that one over there?" pointing at you. Crosshair barely blinks an eye and grumbles, "Mmm, I noticed." "Hot stuff" "Mhm," the Sniper growls again in agreement. Confidently, the Reg says, "I'll get that one for tonight". Crosshair sips his glass before leisurely saying, "No, you don't" The reg laughs, "What? Are you calling dibs?" Crosshair shakes his head and says, "Don't have to, that's already mine" The reg blinks, then laughs and says, "Sorry buddy, I didn't know that, didn't mean to be disrespectful"

Crosshair smirks, even though it annoys him that people want to hit on you, he's kinda proud at the same time. He calmly says, "It's okay, you wouldn't be the first one to try that". The Reg frowns and says, "Apparently I'm not the last either. Look." Crosshair sets his glass down and looks back out onto the dance floor, where another Reg is about to dance all over you. The Sniper sighs, swings off his chair, and grumbles, "Excuse me a second," before making his way through the dancing crowd to you and the Reg. Crosshair nudges the Reg, "Hey, you better keep some distance from that girl". The Reg looks up, surprised as well as annoyed. "Oh yeah, why?" You say before Crosshair can say anything, happily continuing to dance, "Because I belong to him, and he doesn't like it at all when others get too close to me" The Reg glances back and forth between you and Crosshair, then rolls his eyes, but pulls away without comment. You grin at Crosshair as he grabs your hips and pulls you closer to dance with you. Your hands move to his shoulders. "Nice to know you're still looking out for me". Crosshair grumbles, "I'll never stop, ever."

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaw

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@antishadow2021

@sleepycreativewriter

@projectdreamwalker

@1vlouds

[toothlespoggers]

Me: FINALLY ZANE IS BEING CELEBRATED AND RECOGNISED AS THE BEST NINJA AND GIVEN ALL THE LOVE AND PRAISE HE DESERVES!!

Ninjago writers: No you forgot we hate Zane, Zane sucks, Zane is so insignificant everyone only remembers him for being “the robot” no one knows anything about Zane as a person, he’s not viewed as a person. He’s nothing but the Titanium Ninja, the robot. The ice machine.

He’s so worthless that even standing beside DRAWINGS of his own face— people still don’t recognise him.

Watch as we switch gears from physically abusing Zane, to emotionally abusing him and completely destroying any sense of self worth he still had.

Me: yay this is, so great.. wonderful.. sooooo happy…

How can one show give me so much serotonin but also make me so angry at the same time. For the love of god why can’t you treat Zane like a normal person? Why can’t you let him be happy? Why can you NEVER let him be happy? Do you hate him? Do you have no soul? DO YOU? DO YOU? You heartless WENCHES on the writing staff, you horrible people. You look into the poor blue eyes of this innocent little cinnamon roll and all you want to do is break his spirits.

WHYYYYY

LET.

ZANE

BE

HAPPY

LET PEOPLE GENUINELY APPRECIATE HIS SACRIFICES, LET PEOPLE ACTUALLY RESPECT HIM, IF I SAW THE NINJA IN REAL LIFE I WOULD, FIRSTLY. KICK KAI IN THE BALLS (because he is a terrible role model and a terrible person and serves little to no purpose in the ninja team and always causes problems and has had barely any character growth) THEN, I WOULD PUNCH LLOYD IN THE FACE FOR NOT LISTENING TO ZANE OR TREATING ANYTHING HE HAS TO SAY WITH RESPECT. DESPITE THIS MAN LITERALLY DYING FOR HIM MULTIPLE TIMES. LIKE WHOEVER GENUINELY LIKES KAI AND LLOYD AS CHARACTERS, BBG THEY ARE HORRIBLE PEOPLE. IF YOU CANT TREAT THE FRIEND THATS LITERALLY DIED FOR YOU WITH RESPECT. YOU AINT DESERVING OF ANYTHING.

ZANE. ALWAYS. GETS SPOKEN OVER. THE ONLY TIME HES RESPECTED IS WHEN HES AROUND COLE, NYA AND PIXEL. BUT NOW WITHOUT THOSE PEOPLE, HES WALKED ALL OVER BY KAI AND LLOYD. ITS SO SO SAD TO WATCH.

DID YOU SEE HOW RELIEVED HE WAS TO BE LEFT AT HOME?? THIS IS THE FIRST BREAK HES HAD SINCE THE START OF SEASON 11 (besides being unconscious during the merge)

“finally! Peace and quiet where those idiots won’t force me to get beaten up again.” - Zane probably

ZANE. NEEDS. HUGS. ATTENTION, PRAISE, LOVE AND NEEDS PEOPLE TO STOP TREATING HIM LIKE A ROBOT. HES NOT JUST A ROBOT, STOP MAKING ROBOT SOUNDS TO TALK.IKE HIM YOU WRE INSULTING HIM. THIS MAN HAS MORE EMPATHY IN HIS ENTIRE ROBOT BODY. THEN YOU WILL EVER HAVE.

YALL DONT DESERVE ZANE.

AINT NO ONE IN UNIVERSE BESIDES PIXAL AND COLE DEFENDING ZANE, SO IMA DEFEND HIM

[kyusoob]

*whispers* i am literally luo binghe. i was ranting to a friend on ponytown about bingqiu for like. idk how long but i take it to tumblr now.

i often wonder what luo binghe felt as he was pushed into the endless abyss and what he felt after. the anxiety the fear the confusion as shen qingqiu pointed his sword at him. then pushed him down. how could he? does he not remember his own words? the very words he told luo binghe that lead to him learning demonic cultivation? he hates demons? he hates luo binghe.

falling for god knows how long. what was he feeling? and thinking? was there a disgusting pit in his stomach that made its way through his veins? what about confusion? why am i falling? why did he push me? whats going to happen to me? when am i going to land? where am i? shizun?

was he in a state of shock, body cold to the touch. eyes wide open and his whole body trembling.

often when i experience such a shocking unexpected situation and go through a million emotions, i feel those emotions so strongly. whether its sadness or anger or disgust. i feel it so strongly i get sick to my stomach. what follows after is usually a period of complete emptiness. i don't feel any emotions and when i think about everything that happened, i dont recall the emotions i felt during it. i get so impulsive and become a danger to myself an others.

i think a lot about a luo binghe who trudges the demon realm in survival mode. he doesnt feel betrayal or fear or anything of the sorts. he's in a state of absolute nothingness. of course he gets out of this mental state in due time but like. ya.

and i think a lot about how this affects his view on shen qingqiu. we already know how often he splits on him. that constant push and pull we see through the novel is why bingqiu and binghe is often criticized and labelled and just plain toxic. and i agree parts of bingqiu are pretty toxic and unhealthy, but that doesn't mean the whole relationship is doomed.

the novel literally shows us binghe's declining mental state and shen yuan himself realizes it and comments on it. i never understand the hate bingqiu got and why it was called one sided. svsss is literally a build up to their relationship. "the story between me and you has just begun" like hello?

i constantly make the "MXTX! Write svsss in lbh's pov and my life is yours" joke but i think i genuinely wouldnt want to read that. whenever i engage with media, i often get real engrossed with the content and i fully feel and understand what the characters are going through. because of how much i related to luo binghe, what we wre shown was so much more intense. lbh's pov would be absolutely devastating and i truly think that it would send me in a depressive spiral.. i love u luo binghe i wish u total happiness with shen qingqiu.

if anyone makes it to the end hi sorry its not very well written. im not very good with words but i feel A LOT.

[nakanotamu]

good day madam, i am a hungry lesbian in need of your gayest wresting moments. can you spare me a cup of gay?

Anon you have come to the right person. Everything's been leading up to this. This is what it's all been for. This will probably be long.

Anon I got so excited about this I even solicited my friends for THEIR gayest moments so I'll do those first. You were recommended:

Mahiro Kiryu briefly getting a takarazuka gimmick in TJPW's Hyper Misao produced show HYPE

Giulia vs Konami from the 5 Star GP 2021, which was described as "the first match I remember watching and going OH MY GOD KONAMI AND GIULIA ARE FUCKING", and their feud did later give us a promo where Konami was like "Hey Giulia, you know how I bully you and you like it?" and Giulia was like "Ahaha, yeah?" and Konami was like "Well that's basically our entire relationship, so there you go." She did have examples.

pretty much anything with Raku/Pom Harajuku/Yuki Aino in TJPW, who my friends have lovingly dubbed the Pomycule

Okay enough from them though. You didn't ask them, you asked me and I asked them. Now for the me. I think it's important to note as well, anon, that not all of the gay shit in wrestling happens in a match, or even in the ring. Sometimes it's just shit on social media, a lot of the time it happens at press conferences, you must maintain constant vigilance. Anyway.

Whatever the fuck Syuri and Utami have going on, which I wrote about here.

There was the time Himeka kissed Syuri last year

There was Komomo enjoying getting beat up by Saki Kashima a Little Too Much, which I wrote about here.

There was the exchange between Utami and Syuri at the press conference for Stardom Gold Rush last year

There was Tam Nakano starting an entire faction to, in her own words, surround herself with women with big boobs (their focus has since shifted)

There was AliKaba, the tag team of Giulia and Syuri, which was basically just one long enactment of gay longing from Giulia

There was the time Giulia posted this picture with the caption ^-^ and then deleted it

There was the time FWC, the tag team of Hazuki and Koguma, spent 5 hours in the bath together (sadly they just talked about that I don't have pictures)

another time FWC both got matching bruises at the same time, and then later confirmed that yes they got them together. In the bath again

There were both Cosmic Rules matches at Stardom in Showcase 1 & 2 which I unfortunately don't have any great screenshots of but I'm positive were inspired by lesbian porn

There are constant small exchanges like this that don't even have a lot of context they just happen all the time

There was the time Hikari Noa had a hardcore match against Nao Kakuta and after they did this

There was the time Mina Shirakawa spat on Saya Kamitani and then licked her face

There was this shit in Act Wres Girlz, which for the record kind of depressingly does not do gay stories super frequently but has legitimately I think the highest percentage of out wrestlers I've seen in any company

There was the brief Tam Syuri feud which shockingly somehow did not involve anyone kissing but had the vibe that they were kissing mentally the entire time

There was every single exchange Tam and Natsupoi had before they realized they were still in love with each other but ESPECIALLY their cage match

And, for my money, the gay moment that lives the largest and dearest and most bittersweet in my mind was when Tam and Unagi had their singles match as part of the 5 Star GP last year, which was, unknown to us at the time, something of a farewell tour for Unagi before she went freelance, where afterwards they hugged in the ring for two minutes and then kissed.

I'm gonna cut myself off there but trust me I could go on and on and on for way too long but that's why I think you should watch for yourself. Wrestling is always moving and new gay stuff is always happening. In conclusion,

[lovebvni]

Shifting tips plz?

hey hon!! i’m going to be honest, i’ve been avoiding answering this because i feel like this is a three part thing. before shifting, during shifting, and after an attempt. so im gonna try to answer it like that.

!! long blog ahead !!

pre-shift

• before a shift, it’s good to meditate. get your mind, soul and intention on one thing, making an attempt.

• set an intention/affirm! for a few minutes, just say “i am going to shift.” “i have shifted.” “i will shift this attempt.” “i always succeed when i shift” or things like that. get it deep into your mind, into your bones! let the universe hear it!!

• do something to tire you out PHYSICALLY! this is some advice i haven’t seen before, but has helped me. if your physical body is tired, it’s easier for it to fall asleep so it can recover. but, after exercising, your mind and subconscious wasn’t doing much, so it still has energy to spare!

• hype yourself up! another thing i don’t see much, making yourself excited to shift. if you’re pumped with adrenaline, and then you’re about to do that action to get where you’re going (example, you got ready for a party and you’re getting ready to go in your car) you’re going to be like going CRAZY mentally and this will help u so much!!

• reflect! yeah, this is similar to affirming, in the way you’re reminding yourself of what you did and what you can do. remind yourself of that he attempts you made in the past, the symptoms you got, the times you temporarily shifted (or minishifted if u call it that) remind yourself of your power, your abilities!!

• read your script to where you’re shifting! if you have a script, of course, i know some people mentally script or don’t script much, but look over it if you have one. change little things, remind yourself what you look, the colour of your eyelashes compared to your eyebrows. random things like that.

• visualize it. “thoughts become things. if you see it in your mind, you will hold it in your hand” — bob proctor. this isn’t limiting yourself to visualizing, hell, you can SAY you’re doing it. like i sometimes tell myself “i’m going to shower” or “i’m going to make a blog today” then i do it. i saw it in my mind, i spoke it, now i hold it in my hand. and there’s proof! witnesses, bro! sometimes, all you gotta do is think it and believe those thoughts are real.

during a shift

keep focus! or as my pastor once said, keep watch! watch your thoughts, watch your mind. if it starts drifting away from the method and you start thinking you want a sandwich ( *cough cough* me and @shiftingwithhale *cough cough* ) then refocus and redirect your thoughts. “i accept this thought, i will now move back to shifting.” then focus on shifting again. your mind WILL wonder, and that’s not a bad thing! you are human as much as you are god! you will make mistakes! but that doesn’t mean you keep making those mistakes. yall, i accidently stole once and i CRIED MY FUCKING EYES OUTTT!! before returning it. i was so upset i accidentally stole, and i went back in that store CRYING when I gave it back.( i was like 4 btw. i was so scared, it was cold n i wanted to ask my mom for smth but i forgot when i was holding her hand 💀)

listen to a sub/theta waves/a guided method! just something! it helps the brain focus and calms the crazy side. this is obvs if u have the ability to. for example, i know someone who can’t have their phone after a certain time + their parents make sure to take it before and check on them. they aren’t into shifting, it just makes it extremely difficult to talk to them after a certain time 🙄🙄 if u can’t do this, dw!! listen to a sub before going to bed/while doing hw :)

when intrusive/negative thoughts come — “why am i doing this?” “this is stupid.” “i what if i mess this all up bc i gotta sneeze” WHO TF CARES!! LITERALLY MOVE. TELL THEM TO SHUT UP. TELL THEM U WRE BETTER! OR EVEN TAKE A BREAK BRO! the break can literally b a few minutes js to regroup. sit up so you won’t fall asleep, open your eyes, count your fingers and toes (LMAO?? this is specific to someone) and tell yourself “i can do this because i’ve done it. plus other people have done it, all over the world! if one can achieve, so can another.” i feel like it’s so powerful just to remind yourself that if other people can do it you can. if you wanted some new shoes but js got fired from your job n you don’t know what to do, then just wait for a moment. talk to ppl you know. get it done somehow, because eventually you’ll get those shoes, if not better ones!

just do it bro 💀💀 like actually. if you fall asleep after counting to 17 WHO CARES! an awake method can b an asleep method. your brain shutting off does not equal your subconscious shutting down. dude, it CANT DO THAT!! it’s always working, and it works better when your body is resting. keep that in mind.

after an attempt

CELEBRATE i don’t give a shit if you fully shifted or not. you did something. you committed to it. sure, i know it’s hard to keep high spirits, but celebrate the little things. isn’t thanksgiving coming up? be thankful that u found out abt shifting. be thankful you can do an asleep method n shift that way. don’t b mad u didn’t wake up in ur dr, be happy you woke up in a parallel reality and you’re even closer!

write down what worked and what didn’t! if something in your method frustrates or confuses you, change it or remove it. if you visualize in the middle of the method, and you don’t like it, drop it 🤷 do what helps YOU PERSONALLY! use this as a form of journaling. and also, take a deep breath and write out your frustrations w shifting. then write what you love about it. always balance the negative w positive <3

do a reality check! make sure you’re not in a dream. weather you shifted where u want to or not, it’s always good to get in the habit of doing reality checks. it may surprise u and allow u to lucid dream and then shift!!

be in the present! if you didn’t shift, fuck that! you’re here right now and that’s what you can control! sure, you didn’t shift in the PAST but you can in the PRESENT and the FUTURE! so focus on that. it helps with your hope and motivation <3

that’s all i have for u lovely! if i think of anything else, i will update this blog, bc i do rlly believe and hope it will help people <3 this is another blog that made me think, so thank you for that! :)

i love u honey!! i wish u the best on your shifting journey !!

[withwritersblock]

Heaven

~Heaven by Kane Brown~

Author's Note: blurb fluff for my boy Newy Summary: Alex and Y/N go to a wedding together Warnings: fluff Word Count: 577 Alex Newhook x fm!reader

It was a black and white wedding, all guests were supposed to dress to impress in all black. Alex was wearing a slick all black suit that brought out the light brown color of his eyes. 

She had a loose sweetheart neckline dress that had a slight that rested high on her thigh. Her sleeves were mesh as her hair was up high off of her neck.

Alex stepped into the bedroom, his eyes widened as he fought the smirk forming to his lips. She met his gaze through the mirror as she was adjusting the earring. “Looking handsome,” she muttered as she shimmed slightly. He bit his lip as he shook his head.

“Thank you, Darling, You look out of this world,” he expressed as he walked towards her resting his hand onto her hips. He pressed his lips against the side of her neck, she smirked as she tilted her head to the side allowing him more access. 

“Come on, Baby Girl, we’ve got to get going before we walk down the aisle after the bride,” he mumbled as he kept his hands on her hips guiding her out of the bedroom. 

“She would kill me,” Y/N mumbled, referencing her future sister-in-law.

The walk out of their shared apartment in Montreal towards the Uber waiting for them outside. He opened the car door for her letting her sit down inside the car. He took a hold of the end of the dress dangling outside of the car. She smiled towards him as he climbed in the backseat. 

“Where are you two heading in such lovely attire?” The Uber driver asked. Alex smirked as he rested his hand onto her thigh.

“Her brother’s wedding,”

“Some wedding,” The Uber driver let out while chuckling.

~~~

The ceremony went by fast as it was filled with a lot of dabbing her finger against her eyes to stop the tears getting ready to fall from her eyes. Her brother was her best friend, getting to see him happy was everything she ever wanted. 

Now it was time to celebrate. The reception was in full swing, Alex and Y/N had shared several glasses of cocktails as they were dancing together all over the dance floor. After breathing heavily and dancing like crazy animals, a slow country song started to play. 

All of the couples connected. Her hands excitedly rested at the base of his neck as his hands wrapped loosely around her waist. They swayed back and forth together as they wre smiling widely. 

“Usually, songs at weddings are horrible but I guess having the same music taste as the groom helps,” she explained as she slowly played with the ends of his hair as they continued swaying to the song. 

He pulled her closer to him as he looked down towards her lips, she pulled his head closer to her as he kissed her passionately. It was slow, and not flashy. “I am completely okay if this music plays at our wedding,” he mumbled before pulling away from her. 

“Our wedding, huh?” she asked teasingly. 

He nodded slowly while biting his lower lip, “Oh yeah. It’s going to be big and dramatic,”

“You can’t start planning our wedding until you ask me to marry you,” she teased as she moved her hands to the side of his neck. 

“I’ve got that already planned out, Baby, don’t you worry,”

She rolled her eyes playfully as she kissed him briefly.

[xxmayxx05]

Love at first sight: Enzo vogrincic

Pairing: Enzo Vogrincic x Fem reader! Singer

Summary: You are invited to the premier of the movie of the Society of the snow. It was finally the night that you meet the handsome upcoming and rising actor Enzo. It's very surprising when you find out that he was a fan of you and your music. Both of you get very comfortable with each other in a short amount of time, and he decides to make his first move and not risk it.

Warnings: None!

Author's note: Hi guys! I hope you like my imagine! I was thinking about making this into a small series, please comment if you'd like that and send any requests, they are highly appreciate it! Please heart and reblog. Hope you guys like this story<3

____

Today, was the first big premiere that you have ever been invited to and you were excited about it. After your album hit number 1 in different platforms, you were finally getting the recognition that you truly deserved after working so many years behind the scenes in the music industry but now you were in your dream place. 

You were invited to the premiere for the movie “Society of the snow”. Your manager had gotten the invite to the premier due to the fact that your song was part of the soundtrack and that director of the movie J.A Bayona specifically asked you to be a guest in the premier, was a huge honor. When you wre recording studio,trying to write a song for the movie was bit of a hassle. Having to do your own research about the real life tragic events, you were truy inspired and wrote the song. 

J.A Bayona was truly amazed with the song that you have written for the movies soundtrack and now you were here in the premier. Your limousine pulled up slowly to the blue carpet premier, you saw some of the actors that you saw in the trailer but one caught your eye the most. 

His name was Enzo, you had remembered because J.A showed you photos of the cast when he had invited you out for dinner one day. You were mezmerized by how handsome he was and you couldn’t wait to be able to meet him one day. Now you were less than 10 feet away from him and he was even more handsome. You took a deep breathe when your manager opened the limousine door for you and helped you. 

The black satin dress hugged your every curve, your make up was done to perfection to bring out your eye color, you just felt more beautiful and confident with yourself. Walking up to the blue carpet, you turned to the paparazzi and let them take pictures of you. All you could hear was the screams of paparazzi, telling you where to look and the click of the cameras. Little did you know that you had caught the eye of the handsome man you were excited to meet tonight.  

—

Enzo was feeling nervous but happy that his most important project is about to be released, he was very proud of the cast, the production crew. Today was finally the day that everyone was waiting for. Looking at the cameras, and posing casually for the pictures. He turned his head to the left slightly and saw the most beautiful that he has ever seen. Her dress hugged her beautiful body, her hair slicked back in a loose bun, make up done to perfection, her plump lips looked so kissable. 

“Enzo, you are staring” Agustin said in a teasingly matter. 

“Shit” Enzo said and quickly looked at Agustin, when he had made eye contact with you. He softly blushed when you gave him a smile and went back to posing for the cameras. “She is here” Enzo whispered in Agustin’s ear and both of them began posing for the cameras. 

“Yeah, Bayona mentioned something about her coming” he said in his ear and wrapped his left arm around Enzo’s shoulder and kept smiling. Agustin knew that Enzo had the biggest crush on you, he kept raving about your album while they were filming the movie. He caught Enzo scrolling through your instagram and liking your pictures, he was a simp for you. 

“You better make a move before the end of the night” he told Enzo and patted his shoulder. Walking away with the rest of the cast. 

Enzo took a deep breath and nodded his head. He had to make a move, tonight what’s so ever.

—-

Finally making your way inside the theater after taking more pictures, did a couple of interviews, and finally meeting up with J.A. He lead you into the theater and stood by your side because he knew you didn’t know many people. 

“Do you want to meet the boys” he asked you as he hooked his arm with yours. You guys had known each other for sometime, so it was something that you guys always did when you hangout together. “Enzo is going to be very happy to see you” he teased and nodded his head when he saw the boys huddled up together talking. 

You look at where Bayona nodded his head and there he was. The guy that you had a small crush on. “Let’s see where this night takes me” you smiled at him and laughed softly when he immediately took you to where the cast was. 

“Guys, meet Y/N” He said as he presented you to the very tall handsom group of boys. 

One by one they greeted you with a kiss on the cheek and saying how big of fans they where to your music. The last one was Enzo. You both made intense eye contact and you were left breathless when he leaned down to kiss your cheek. His cologne and aftershave was a very calming scent to you and you didn’t know why. 

“Hi love” he said and kissed your cheek. Enzo felt a bit nervous on finally meeting you but thankfully the boys told him that you were coming there way and he gave himself a small pep talk to calm his nerves. You were more beautiful up close and you smelled like heaven, he really needed to make a move tonight or he would regret it. 

“Enzo right?” you asked, knowing that it was a risky question. 

“Yes I am” he said, his eyes widened a bit when he realized that you knew him. “Really big fan of your music” he said with a small smile. Enzo looked at the guys and he was thankful that they were all talking with Bayona and it was now him and you. 

“That’s very nice to hear” you smiled, feeling pride that he liked your music. “I’m going to release new music soon, hopefully I’m going on tour next year you told him with excitement. 

“I would love to go see you live, the boys and I would listen to your music during our filming break” he chuckled. He blushed softly when he heard you angeletic laugh. “Really it was me who would put your music” he decided to confess. 

“It’s very nice to know that you are an amazing fan” you said confidently. “Maybe you could come see my first show, I would love to see you there” you said with a smile. 

“It would be an honor to come and see you” Enzo said with a small chuckle. He was feeling even more confidence with himself and liked how comfortable you both were getting with eachother. “Would you like a drink?” he asked looked at the open bar. 

“Yes I would” you said softly both of you walked to the bar. He ordered you both a martini and clincked the glasses together softly as a little pre-celebration. “I’m very excited for the movie.” 

He smiled at you and he felt a lot of pride that the movie was finally going to be shown for everyone to see the incredible movie. Him and the boys went through a lot of hard training before going to the andes and filming in the cold. “Yes, so am I. we all worked very hard to complete this amazing story. It’s the first ever project or huge project that some of us have worked on. Hopefully we all get more opportunities in this industry.” he said and took a sip of his martini. 

“I agree with you on that, this industry is very difficult but i’m pretty sure that with this project you guys will succeed more than you think.” you gave him a heart warming smile. 

“Thank you, Linda” he said and leaned in kissing your cheek. Enzo felt like he needed to do it, hoping that it will show you that he felt someway about you. 

“No problem” you said a bit quietly and blushed softly. “I would like to invite you to one of my future shows” you said while pulling your phone out from your small clutch and handed it to him for him to type his number. 

 He grabbed you phone and type his number, he decided to take a little leap of faith and added a black heart at the end of his name. 

“Excuse me?, could i please take a picture of you both?” a random photographer said, surprising you both. Enzo looked at you with a little smile. 

“Of course” you told the photographer and blushed when you felt Enzo wrapping an arm around your waist. You stood closer to him and softly put a hand on top of his firm chest. Both of you smiled and the flash went of. “ Thank you guys” he said before walking away. 

You looked up at him and blushed when you realized that he was already smiling at you. “Here you go, Linda” he said and handed you the phone back. 

“Thank you” you said softly and leaned to get your drink. Both of you kept talking and finishing your drink. Completely getting even more comfortable with each other and his arm was around your waist the whole time. 

“Um, guy we have to head inside the theater” Bayona said when he came up to you both and was very pleased that you guys have gotten very close with each other in such short amount of time. 

“Alright, we will be right in” Enzo said as he put his glass back on the table and took yours when you handed it to him. “Let’s go?” he asked you, smiling softly at you. 

“Let’s go” you said and both of you started walking inside the theater, Enzo never removed his arm from your waist and lead you both to see the showing. 

—-

After almost three hours, the movie ended and everyone was heading out. You cried practically the whole entire time and Enzo comforted you along the way. 

“I’m sorry for crying the entire time” you laughed softly as you both walked out. He had offered to walk you to your driver. 

“It’s very understandable, it’s a very emotional ride” he said and looked down at you. Enzo say how your teeth were slightly chattering when the cold air unexpectedly hit you when you walked out of the theater. He removed his gray suit jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders. 

“Thank you” you said softly when you felt him covered your exposed arms. Both of you kept walking in a comfortable silence until you saw your driver stand by the limousine. “Well, this is where I go” you said with a chuckle and turned to him. 

“It was really nice meeting you, I hope we can see each other very soon” Enzo said and looked down at you. He loved the height difference that there was between you both. 

“I will make sure of it” you said and got on your tippy toes. Leaning in you kissed his cheek. “Goodnight Enzo” you said with a smile and turned to walk to the car. 

“Goodnight Linda” he said with a smile as he saw you walk to your car and go inside. Enzo was surprised when you kissed his cheek, he wished it would of been a real kiss but he was content with just a kiss on the cheek. He started walking back to meet the boys so that they could go back to the hotel to get ready for the interviews tomorrow. His phone buzzed softly in his pocket and he took it out. 

“I hope I could see you really soon, thank you for tonight… xo Lina” said the unknown number. He smiled and immediately save your number, typing your whole name with a red heart on the end. 

“I would like to take you out on a date tomorrow night, if you are available” he texted, biting his bottom lip at his bold move. 

“I’ll be waiting <3” you texted, right back. 

“Fuck yes” Enzo said to himself. He had a nice feeling about you and he didn’t want to loose this chance. He didn’t want to loose you. 

[toaspireintodarkness]

Shigaraki Tomura x LoV member! Reader

Drabble? One-shot? Don't ask—I was in the middle of playing Fortnite (Team Dabi, anyone?) and this popped up in my head as I was unaliving a fellow player. I stopped mid game and came here to write—

It probably wasn't the best idea to interrupt the most dangerous villain in the hideout at the moment—but given the situation, you had to.

The room was pitch black, all but the bright screen that illuminated the boss' face. His eyes were narrowed, his lips moving. His focus was completely in the game. He hadn't even noticed that a soft yellow light was now pouring into his room, nor that you were standing in the doorway.

You had to hesitate to disturb him from his game. Despite the rather violent audio coming from the computer, for once in your time of being here, Tomura Shigaraki looked... calm. He wasn't angry and ready to kill someone, nor was he desperately scratching his neck with irritation or anxiety. It was a side of him that you never thought you'd see so easily.

Tomura Shigaraki was endearing in this new lighting.

"What the hell do you want? Why are you just standing there?" His low voice that almost hissed at you made you jump. You blinked rapidly as you tried to direct your brain back on track. Your cheeks colored a pale rose.

"Uh—" Your brain stumbled. Why were you here to begin with? Suddenly, there was a crash from the other room followed by Dabi's shout. Toga's giggle echoed. Tomura's gaze went beyond you before his eyes narrowed.

"Come in and shut the door. I don't want to hear them bicker." You hesitated.

Come in?

Hah, nobody entered the boss' room.

"Shut the damn door." The order was layered with a threat. You quickly stepped in and shut the door behind you. Your chest was a little tight as you stood close to the door. His gaze remained on you for a moment before he grumbled under his breath resuming the game. "What is it this time? She trying to steal clothes again? Stealing his food? Trying to get blood?"

Toga had quite the tendency to steal everyone's clothes. It was something about being close to the ones she loved? You didn't try to get too involved. You didn't reject her either, purely because you didn't want to end up in a fight with her. It wasn't like you cared. It was... sweet, in its own way.

"No... this time she went into his room and stole something. Won't say what it is though." Tomura scoffed.

"You'd think Dabi would be smart enough to not leave things laying around... he hides too much." You eased. Tomura didn't exactly seem angry, rather annoyed at the fact of Dabi's existence at the moment.

"Yeah... but I'm sure he has his reasons," you muttered. "We all went through something that put us where we are today." Tomura's eyes flickered over to you for a moment before they went back to the game. You noticed how he was slowly losing his irritation from the situation that remained outside of his room. There was a thump that echoed, along with the skitter of Toga's quick steps. That irritation returned.

"Reasons or not, if Dabi doesn't want his secrets exploited, then he needs to keep everything kept up." You couldn't disagree there. One couldn't really keep a secret with Toga around. She had her ways of putting together information. You slowly crept forward, careful not to step on anything–though if you did, it wasn't your fault. The room was pitch black and you couldn't see nothing.

"What game are you playing?" A simple, curious question. You had played a couple in your life. You weren't considered a 'gamer' by no means but it was something fun to indulge in every so often. The game on the monitor looked familiar, but you didn't want to assume.

"Street fighter II."

"Damn that's old." You couldn't help how fast it had came out of your mouth. He continued to play, though a small scowl had formed.

"You have a problem with older games?" You shook your head, getting closer to him. He was pretty good at it—what were you kidding, he would definitely wreck you in-game.

"No! I honestly prefer the older games. It just... its different than the newer ones they make." You didn't know how to explain it. The older games had a preferred layout–a more complex sense of game play. Some of the lore was deeper too. The graphics may not be like they are today, but the quality was better. Not to mention, the games didn't have to update every time you turned the system on back then either.

"Hmph." It was an noise of approval. He finished up his current match before clicking out of the arcade mode, adjusting the settings to co-op. "Do you want to play?"

"Me against you?"

"No, you against air. Yes! What else would I be talking about?" You went beside of him, and he pointed to the necessary keys. "Emulated version is a little complicated, but you are in control of those keys. Don't touch mine." You put your fingers where he had shown. His crimson eyes flickered over your nervous form before a cheshire grin etched onto his lips.

"Let's see if you're just as good at video games as you are at fighting in real life."

Tomura Shigaraki's ego boosted that night, winning a solid twenty-three times before you insisted that you had to go check on the sudden silence coming from the other room. Not only was he a deadly playing card in person, but he would seriously wipe the floor with anyone in a game too.