#whether or not you agree with that decision is up to you

[lovelookspretty]

lover of mine

drew starkey x actress!reader au

— in which drew and y/n, secretly exes, must fake date in order to keep the peace at a mutual friend’s wedding, but the forced proximity makes them question whether they ever truly moved on.

warnings: girl bye this whole part is just screaming n crying omg be prepared

one | two | three | four | five | six | seven

authors note: wanted to make a little unexpected visit at the end given his character but yk 😋 let me know if u arent on the tag list yet !! interact w me thru replies, anons, or dms !! notifications are always on <3

long story short, the group collectively agree to postpone this dinner night because of what happened. just as you left the restroom, drew was gone and were instead met by leila who told you they were leaving to eat at the pearl some other time.

you feel terrible that they had to witness what they did, and you assume they must’ve seen you and drew talking in the hallway for them to make this decision. they know something’s wrong between you two, and you almost break on the spot. it’s like the whole plan is crashing down and you don’t know what to do, how to move forward.

you and drew travel in different cars on the way home but to end off the night, the group splits up. some dress down and head back to explore the town at night or there are others who choose to stay home, just keep a respectful distance.

you rid of your clothes and step into the shower to collect your thoughts, and it takes everything in you not to cry from frustration. the steam curls around you, the hot water beating down your back like it’s trying to wash the weight of everything away—but it doesn’t.

no amount of heat or scrubbing can erase the guilt, regret, and shame that engulf you.

when you finally step out, your skin is red from the heat, and you wipe a hand over the fogged mirror, catching a glimpse of your own tired reflection. your new clothes cling to your still-damp skin, and your hair hangs heavy and wet down your back.

when you step out of the bathroom, the cool air bites at your skin, but that’s not what makes you freeze. you see him—drew—walking toward your shared room. he’s freshly showered, his hair slightly wet, and you realize he must’ve used the bathroom across the hall that gia and roman share.

for a split second, your eyes meet, and you have to bite down on your emotions, hard, before you can speak. before you can let it all flood out.

you get to the door first, quietly letting yourself in, then leaving it open so he comes in too. the air between you feels heavy—like there are words unsaid. you can hear the faint sound of music downstairs, theo’s voice talking low, maybe to leila, but it’s distant. they must be trying to let you talk without feeling like you need to worry.

you step into the room, moving toward the dresser on your side of the room. your hand rests on top of it, gripping the edge for balance, as if the solid wood can keep you grounded. your back is to him, but you can hear him enter. he stands there for a moment, probably watching you, probably waiting for you to say something.

the silence is unbearable.

“why didn’t you just tell me?”

your voice comes out quietly, almost too low for him to hear. you don’t turn around, your eyes focused on the lamp in the corner of the room, as if looking anywhere but at him will keep you from falling apart. your hand tightens on the dresser as you wait for him to answer.

you hear him shuffle behind you, his breath catching like he didn’t expect you to speak first. “i . . . i don’t know,” he says, his voice just as quiet as yours. “i didn’t want to hurt you.”

you swallow hard, blinking rapidly as the familiar burn of tears threatens again. you know he’s trying to be honest, but that answer—it’s not enough. it doesn’t fix anything.

“you didn’t want to hurt me?” your voice wavers, and you finally turn, facing him. he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at you like he doesn’t know how to fix the mess he’s made. “this wasn’t even just a few days either. this has been weeks—weeks of us talking, planning, pretending . . . and the whole time, you were lying.”

as you walk over to him, he opens his mouth to respond, but you can see the guilt weighing him down, making it impossible for him to speak right away.

“not only were you lying to them,” you gesture loosely, meaning the others, everyone, “but you were lying to me.” you point to your chest as your voice cracks, weak and filled with betrayal.

his face tilts slightly to the side, and though he’s staring at you, his eyes are glossing over. you can see the weight of what he’s done finally sinking in, and it’s tearing him apart. he swallows hard, his throat tight.

“i didn’t mean to,” he whispers, his voice trembling now. “i never wanted—”

but he stops, his words catching in his throat, and you can see the tears threatening to spill. his jaw tightens as he forces himself to keep looking at you, even though it’s breaking him inside.

“no, but you did,” you tell him. “you made this decision. you created this plan when you had mila back home, drew.”

he winces at her name. you can see it. but you don’t stop.

every day, every conversation, every moment you’ve spent together, he knew. and he said nothing.

your words slow down though, and the weight of them sinks in deeper. “i had finally gotten to a point after we broke up where i felt like i was free of us,” you say, voice quieter now, but raw. “i didn’t have to worry about things like this anymore. i was finally done with us.”

drew’s lips part like he’s about to say something, but he can’t, and you don’t give him the chance. “but here i am.” you let out a short, breathless laugh, as though even you can’t believe the mess you're in. “i mean, i didn’t think agreeing to this plan was going to work out perfectly, but—”

you stop, searching for the words, your throat tight with emotion. it takes everything in you to keep from crying. you look away from him, your voice going numb, the exhaustion seeping through. “but i didn’t think i’d end up feeling like this. like none of it ever really ended.”

you stand there for a moment, letting the weight of everything hang between you two. you wipe at the corner of your eye, then shake your head slightly, more in disbelief than anything else.

“so why?” you ask, “why didn’t you just tell me? why didn’t you say something from the beginning, when we started this whole thing?"

he looks at you, his jaw clenching, but his eyes are filled with guilt. he takes a deep breath, his face turned slightly to the side like he's trying to hold himself together.

“i fell in love with you,” he says, and you scoff. oh, he’s just now fallen in love? he realizes his mistake and gets up when you start to walk away, but he grabs you by the arms, “no, no, no, y/n please, i fell in love with this life—being with you again. i didn’t want to lose that. i’m still in love with you. i always have been. i just realized it too late.”

you can’t believe him. “but you did lose it, drew.” your voice is quieter now, but no less intense. “you lost it the moment you decided to lie. you didn’t just ruin this plan, this stupid fake relationship.”

you shrug him off of you.

“i thought,” your voice cracks, “i thought telling our friends the truth would make everything worse. i was so scared they’d feel like they had to walk on eggshells around us, like it’d be awkward if they knew what happened. but you know what? i wish i’d just told them. instead of this. instead of . . . all of this.”

“and it’s not just about mila,” you say, “even when you’re supposed to be my fake boyfriend, you’re still making decisions for me. you speak for me, like you always know better, like i can’t speak for myself.” you can feel your frustration bubbling to the surface, the heat rising in your chest as you push forward. “it’s like . . . no matter what happens, you still feel like you need to control everything.”

drew’s mouth opens slightly, like he’s about to respond, but you can’t stop now. the words tumble out, each one hitting you harder than the last.

“i mean, do you know how exhausting that is?” your voice rises, and you can feel your emotions slipping, coming out faster than you can stop them. “you made up the plan, you pulled back the moment i was getting comfortable again, even our breakup was your decision.”

his expression hardens, and you can see the conflict raging behind his eyes. “i thought we agreed there wasn’t any point in keeping up something that was barely there,” he says. “we were hardly talking or communicating, y/n. i mean, trying to keep up a relationship for us that wasn’t even really there? was it . . . do you think it would’ve been better if we didn’t break up? i mean—”

“yes! yes, it was worth it! i didn’t care if we weren’t always together!” you blink, caught off guard for just a second, but the fire inside you flares back to life. “and you said there wasn’t any point; not me. we’re busy people, drew, lives like ours don’t get spent every day how these two weeks are supposed to be. you have to know that. so i’m sorry that you felt enough was enough for us but you shouldn’t have had to decide what you thought was best for both of us and make that decision on your own without telling me!”

as you speak, you notice the way his face shifts, confusion and regret flickering in his eyes.

you exhale, shutting your eyes. “trust me, i spent nights worrying about us when we were together, replaying every moment, every doubt.” your voice lowers, becoming more vulnerable, almost a whisper. “and i told myself, ‘okay, that’s normal. that’s normal maybe. so you didn’t get a fairytale relationship; grow up.’”

“but i understood that . . . no matter what, i wouldn’t have left you because i loved you,” you cry, “i stayed because that’s what you do when you love someone.”

drew’s face crumbles at your words, and his gaze drops to the floor. you take a deep breath, steadying yourself as you meet his gaze again. “look, i’m not going to say anything to anyone about mila,” you say. “but you need to figure this out, how we move on from here, and whether you’re going to tell her about this plan because i’m not gonna keep doing it if she’s not comfortable with it.”

drew nods slowly. he’s quiet, visibly processing everything. “i’ll do it,” he says, almost to himself, but you nod anyway. he takes a shuddering breath, his voice barely above a whisper as he finally speaks. “i didn’t mean to lose you,” he says, staring at the ground. “but i did. i know that now.”

you watch him for a moment, the weight of his confession hanging between you, before you turn away. your hand reaches for the door, and this time, you don’t hesitate.

“yeah, you did,” you whisper, voice broken as you open the door and hurry through, leave him standing there alone. “you did.”

drew stands there, frozen in place as the silence settles around him. he watches when you walk away until the laughter from outside fades into a distant echo, and he sinks down onto the edge of the bed, his body heavy with regret.

“—fucking—” he mutters under his breath, his voice barely audible. he leans forward, elbows digging into his thighs, and cradles his head in his hands while tears spill from his eyes. in that moment, he’s completely alone, engulfed by the realization that he pushed away the one person who mattered most.

“i’m gonna be back, okay?” libby tells you. you’re sitting in her bed, her and leila feeling like it’s only reasonable for her to step up, and she would’ve no matter what.

“hey,” you say before she goes, your fingers reaching her arm. she halts, looking at you again as she settles back down on the edge of the bed. “thank you for letting me sleep here tonight.”

she gives you a knowing look. “there’s no need y/n. my job is to make sure you’re comfortable and okay. your job is to get under my covers and drool on my pillows ‘til morning.”

“shut up,” you murmur and consider whacking her in the face with one of said pillows, but she leans forward to give you a hug. it’s gentle at first, and you’re relieved to feel a warmth from someone at a time like this. you feel like you can stay there forever, but she pulls away to leave the room.

there’s a knock at the door that startles you a bit, and you wait anxiously for who’s behind it. they open it quietly and peek their head in—roman?

he lets himself inside with cautious steps, and before you can speak he shushes you.

“keep it down, stupid,” he says, and you furrow your eyebrows at him. he takes maybe two steps forward and then stops there. “i just wanted to say sorry for not saying anything before at the peel.”

“the pearl.” you nod, your lips pursed. “thanks.”

he deadpans at you. “i don’t do this very often so i’d appreciate more than just a thanks, you kn—” he pauses to rephrase his words, and you can see the gears shift in his head. he sighs. “i fully saw that you were upset and i didn’t do anything. part of it was because i didn’t know if i should’ve but the other was that the food was just really good—”

“roman,” you try to tell him to get out, but he persists.

“no,” he tells you. he tries to search for the right words before continuing, “i’m just sorry. i don’t want to make it seem like i don’t care or that you don’t have anybody to talk to. and i’m not gonna jump the gun or be all enthusiastic the next time this happens but . . . i just won’t be quiet anymore.”

you’re taken aback by roman’s unexpected display of concern. you can’t tell if you’re imagining this. this has to be the first time you’ve probably ever known him that he’s being like this. but you nod slowly, absorbing his words. “thank you, roman,” you say softly, appreciating the effort he’s making. “it means a lot that you care.”

he shifts on his feet, clearly uncomfortable with the emotional territory but pressing on anyway. “good,” he replies, his voice a little firmer. “because i might not always show it, but i do care. just . . . don’t think you have to go through stuff alone, alright? we’re friends, i guess, even if i don’t always act like it.”

you smile faintly, still surprised that he’s even still standing there. “i get it. i appreciate you saying something.”

“goodnight, y/n,” he says. just as he’s about to leave, he glances back, a knowing look in his eyes. “and just so you know, i get that things are complicated with starkey, but it’s pretty obvious you two aren’t really together. you don’t have to pretend around me.”

your heart skips a beat, and you feel a rush of vulnerability. how much does he really know? but before you can question him further, he’s already slipping out the door.

at the same time, libby slides past him with mugs of hot cocoa, “ew, what are you doing here?” she says to roman, avoiding him like he’s her brother. “get out of here.”

she kicks the door closed behind her, and her mood switches to a smile. “what was all that about? oh my god— did he hurt you? did he infect you?” she asks, feigning concern as she plops down next to you and handing you a mug. you take the mug and just shake your head with a grin.

@rubixgsworld @itgirlbrina @thepopcultureaddict @icaqttt @samsmelodrama @kissfinalgirl @itsamegazaddysworld @willowpains @toterry @wearemadeofstardust0 @cl4uus @maybankslover @itneverendshere @httpsdrewstarkey @ilyrafe @sunny1616 @pillowprincess4him @yootvi @matthewswifeeee @uwuemlwlrld @l4venderia @chenslucy @darkreymbow @congratsloserr @skyslowalking @behindviolettwrites @allthoughtsmindfull

[zooophagous]

"Copying a photo to near perfection in a painting is a valid and true display of skill and artistic merit"

And

"Not every photo you find online is yours to be used as a stock photo however you want"

Are two takes that can and do exist together lol.

[mar64ds]

What things you *mean* Batter did that aren't good?

i don't think killing thousands is exactly the kindest decision ever but i still like the guy and the themes of the game are more complex than that. again i don't think he is evil but i don't think he has never done anything wrong in his life, i like the batter because he is an enigma of morality and he doesn't really care lol

[moondirti]

big fan of the headcanon that simon riley is hard to get.

if we're being realistic, he's probably gotten very good at ignoring any inclination he might have towards a person in the years since his families' murder. it's easier to function as a soldier, as ghost, when he doesn't have to carry the burden of concern for someone so vulnerable. whether it's worrying about their safety while he's on deployment and can't afford to, or otherwise repressing his darker tendencies in an effort not to break them; the extra effort just isn't worth it to him. he won't seek you out, he won't take care of you, he won't reassure and coddle and communicate.

and he's not blind, nor is he passionless. he can appreciate a pretty face when one happens to pass by, but that's pretty much the extent of it. he's gotten used to the scorch of the lonely flame that flickers inside of him. if anything, he thinks putting it out and tending to the burns left in its wake would be a more traumatic ordeal than just letting it consume him.

so for him to accept love, it'd have to sneak up on him.

it happens with johnny first. he's the natural candidate, of course. his stubborn subordinate, clever with a fixated loyalty and quick wit – who better than him to get under ghost's skin?

granted, he isn't as guarded around him as he would've been with a civilian. not as cold upon introduction because he doesn't need to be. soap's a soldier, and this is work, and he's confident enough in the sergeant's resilience that it doesn't hinder his routine. he doesn't have to make accommodations, bend backwards or wake up in a cold sweat concerned about the man's wellbeing; not at first, anyway. and such are the floodgates that allow him to embrace johnny's company.

jokes crackled over comms. sitting next to each other on the airlifter. claps on the back after a successful operation. trust in every decision he chooses to take, regardless of whether or not he agrees. he thinks about johnny's eyes, johnny's smile, johnny's fierce little pout and the scar on his chin – but everything in moderation. the perfectly healthy amount. passing appreciation of his best mate's features and nothing more. it's the only meaningful connection he's had in years, and so what if he tugs his cock to the thought of it? people have cum to less.

until the bastard gets himself shot in the liver on solo reconnaissance in cyprus, and almost dies on medevac.

because when ghost gets that call from price – soap's hurt. it's looking grim. – he's wracked with a terror so acute he thinks his heart has given up on him. it's about the worst way to find out that he considers johnny as more than a friend. this sheer desperation, longing, regret. he ponders over it in the plane, tries to scrub the dread from his being. tries to pick apart what went wrong, what makes the sergeant so special.

by the time he reaches the hospital, he's already accepted defeat. all it takes is one look at johnny in his hospital bed – features peaceful, bandages wrapped around his bare chest, mohawk and facial hair grown out – to understand that this isn't going away anytime soon. he'll just have to make his peace with it. readjust to accommodate the protective flare already sparking in his chest.

it's a hassle, but manageable. despite his injury, johnny's still a competent man. they already know how to function in bouts of high stress. they're good– great friends. all this is really is an opportunity for simon to finally dig his cock within an ass he's been eyeing for months – or at least, that's the rationale he uses to come to terms.

and then you arrive. and things get a whole lot more complicated.

johnny's bird, apparently – gaz whispers to him outside of the inpatient room, watching through the window as you fret over the comatose man's pillows – didn' know he had one. m'surprised. you'd think a loudmouth like him would let the world know. she's cute too. really, ghost, did you have any idea?

he can't find it in him to respond, opting instead to march back into the room. you're fussing too much, causing a scene, no doubt disturbing the air with the nervous energy radiating off you in waves.

"he isn' supposed to be elevated like tha'," simon scolds, inflating a bit when you straighten up, eyes blowing wide with distress.

"oh... i just thought- he gets all hot when he lays on his back like this. i wanted him to be comfortable."

he knows that he's being cruel. you've done absolutely nothing to deserve the harsh glare he shoots your way, nor should you be expected to handle it. your eyes are red-rimmed, puffy like you've been crying on the way over. no doubt unused to crises like this one. he should be a help, not another source of stress.

besides. johnny's your boyfriend, not his. he has no reason to be so territorial. he'd only just discovered his feelings eight hours ago.

but–

"are you a doctor?"

"n-no."

"then it's best you keep your opinion to yourself."

he just can't help himself.

over the next week, ghost treats you with nothing more than cold disregard. he side-eyes you when you cry, wakes you up with rough pokes to your shoulder once visiting hours close, and takes every chance to one-up you when it comes down to who knows johnny better. you've got a leg up in the domestic department, but simon knows that nothing can surpass the borderline psychic bond they've built, and he makes sure to emphasise it whenever he can. and fuck, does it annoy him that you take it with grace every time, nodding receptively as though his input is meant to be more than just a searing critique of your shortcomings.

his behaviour doesn't go unnoticed, either. gaz is infinitely perplexed to see that the usually controlled lieutenant is so quick to lose his temper around you, despite your earnest efforts to not be a nuisance, and all price offers are long, disapproving looks that have him itch uncomfortably in his seat.

on the other hand, you must believe that he's just like that – foul mouthed, disparaging, mean – because you don't take it to heart. you remain pleasant, gentle, if not a little bit emotional. never once do you raise your voice at him, or fight back when he extends a particularly hurtful comment. on the occasion that his attitude grows to be too much for you, all you do is slip on a pair of noise-cancelling headphones and spread out your textbooks to spend the evening studying on the other side of the room. not keen on making amends, or discovering the source of simon's malcontent, but not affected by it either. you're peaceful. conflict averse. a good girl.

then, you come back one day with a tupperware of cookies.

"i made them myself last night. couldn't sleep, so..." you shrug, holding it out towards him. he assesses them, assesses you, roving over your chapped lips and hollow under-eyes. when did you get to look so defeated?

"no." he looks away, back to the unconscious man in front of him. in his periphery, your shoulders deflate, and he doesn't know what compels him to add the quiet "thanks."

"you've been here every hour of every day. i don't think i've seen you eat. um–" you dodge his gaze when it shoots to you. you've never tried to hold a conversation before now, have always accepted his gruff responses as an indication to leave him alone. he wonders why you can't catch the hint now. "just- let me know if you change your mind. they're shortbread."

and that's the end of it. at least until an hour later:

you're sitting on your armchair, directly across the bed from him, staring blankly at johnny when you speak up. "lieutenant?"

ghost doesn't remember introducing himself to you. he doesn't respond, but clenches his jaw to let you know he's listening.

"he's been comatose for a while." you warble. meaningless chatter. he sees it for what it is: talking so you don't cry. seeking reassurance in someone who knows how these things go.

"hm."

"is this how it usually-"

"sometimes."

"oh."

"he'll be alright." simon adds. more for himself than for you, but your lip wobbles like it's exactly what you needed to hear.

a few moments later, you speak up again.

"he holds you in such high regard, y'know."

he didn't. his heart aches as he follows the rise and fall of johnny's chest, finds solace in it, calming himself before he rips the hair from his skull. he can't speak, can't muster a rude dismissal, or any hatred for you. not anymore. this hospital has sucked the soul from him, as it seems to have done with you.

"he'll be happy to know you've stuck to his side." you smile, stirring from your seat and slinging your bag over your shoulder. "i have to go, got an exam tomorrow. i'll leave the cookies here in case you crave one."

you're halfway out when simon replies. "good luck."

and he's on his third cookie when johnny finally wakes. by then, he's already made up his mind. it's revelation he comes to much faster than the first.

if he can't have just johnny, he'll take you both.

[keyotosprompts]

love's possessing me ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

ur fav tropes (with variations) + microtropes

⇴ person a + person b are both looking for each other, and they wander all around the place until they finally meet in the middle, where they both crash into each other

⇴ enemies to lovers (kind of) because they're in opposite factions that feud. until one day they run into each other on accident, immediately want to kill the other, and get trapped together. slowly, they discover that their own factions are awful, and they must work together to stop injustice (mk storyline!!!)

⇴ super serious and put together b turns into pure mush at the sight of a. i'm talking the brain stopped functioning call 911 bc we think they suffered brain damage. no they're just in love with person a.

⇴ having their own secret code. whether it be hand signs behind their backs, secret looks, or secret touches—as long as it's a secret then i will eat it up.

⇴ getting so tired that person b falls and person a has to catch them. person b ends up laying their head on person a's shoulder, and person a is now stuck with person b

⇴ "i'm not falling in love" and they fall the hardest (idc how used it is i will eat it up until i die)

⇴ person b admiring how person a brightens up any room when they get excited. "the look of love" as some would call it

⇴ two people that help each other heal. they've both had rough pasts, and when they meet each other—initially they hate it but—things start to mend (hometown cha cha cha anyone???)

⇴ banter and teasing at first meeting, but the more they get to know each other, the more they begin to connect.

⇴ person a + person b fighting over who has to sleep on the couch (they're staying at the other person's house), until they both agree on sleeping in the same bed together

⇴ friends to lovers but the other party did not consider them friends. (yikesssss)

⇴ "you lied to me! you kept lying straight to my face! and you expect me to forgive you?" "what are you talking about?! did you never get my letter?" "what letter?" (oh ur cooked)

⇴ "you deserve better than me." "that's not your decision to make, that's mine."

⇴ person a literally thinking they're the worst person in the world, and then there's person b, who can fight through the darkness and find the light

⇴ "you wouldn't understand!" "then tell me. i just want to listen."

⇴ person a's overworking themselves, so person b has to manually close their computer and put away their work and force them to sleep

⇴ person a stays up for person b to get home, but falls asleep. person b takes a ton of photos of them and then carries them to bed (and joins them later snuggling them ofc)

hey guys! keyotos here. this is a little out of my lane but i created this post for my writing event on my writing blog. but anyone else, feel free to use these and lmk if u guys like content similar to this!

[sttoru]

𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔.

⟣ sypnosis. you had been in your first ever relationship with suguru for a couple months now. neither of you have taken your relationship to the next level; suguru was extremely patient and never brought the topic of sex up until you one day decide you were ready.

⟣ note. first fic for my event :3 i spent way too much time on this fic so it turned out very detailed, long, romantic and fluffy. i hope you all enjoy and appreciate it teehee. this post contains smut, proceed at own risk ! wc: around 6.1k

⟣ tags. soft dom!geto suguru x virgin!female reader. fluff + smut. slow burn. age gap (reader 20-ish, suguru around 29/30), little talks about insecurity, loss of virginity, breast play, edging, teasing, fingering, lots of praise, dirty talk, size difference!, p in v — unprotected (dont b like reader and use protection please), creampie, aftercare, suguru’s really romantic and just a softie for u, suguru being a good ‘dad’ to mimiko and nanako and teeny tiny bits of him secretly being a pervert.

never in a million years had suguru expected his girlfriend to be so upfront about such a big, personal decision. the thought of having you say those words had never crossed his mind.

“can you repeat that for me, sweetheart?”

could you blame him for asking you to clarify the words you’ve uttered? that man has seen you as an oblivious and innocent woman ever since the start of your relationship. of course, unbeknownst to him, your thoughts were anything but that.

you may be a virgin, but your mind was a place for the most lewd and nasty thoughts. it’s just that you’ve been scared of being intimate with a man—it’s frightening, especially when having heard the many online stories about how badly it could hurt. some say that such descriptions were over exaggerating, however your inexperience still lead you to believe everything you’ve read about the topic.

and then you started dating an older man named suguru. you’ve met him by chance at a mall in kyoto and he was the first one who approached the other. you remember how suguru politely asked you for some advice regarding what type of presents he should get for ‘two teenage girls’. of course, you agreed to helping him out and that’s how you two eventually ended up brainstorming about possible ideas in a cozy café.

once seated, chosen drinks in both your hands, you asked the man whether the gifts were meant for his daughters. somehow, that’s the first connection the neurones in your brain had made once suguru told you about the two teenagers he was picking out presents for.

you remember it vividly; the sweet, gentle sound of the laughter that accounted as your answer, the eyes of the then stranger looking rather nostalgic as they stared into the liquid in his cup. suguru responded vaguely; “i guess you could say that, yes.”

that little ‘date’—if you could call it that—ended on a wholesome note. suguru thanked you for your time and made sure that you safely got into the train you needed to take home. he did want to offer you a car ride, however he kept that question to himself since he knew that no woman would voluntarily agree to be taken home by a stranger. even if suguru had the purest of intentions.

there were a couple more dates that followed after that one; all where you both gradually got to know each other better. you’ve found out so much about suguru—the details about his own life being both fascinating and sad at the same time. likewise, suguru had also learned much about you. he always shows great interest in what you tell him, even if it’s a minuscule detail. he remembers it all as well—a feature which caused you to feel funny things in your stomach.

you realised you were catching feelings for that mysterious yet sweet and loving man; it was inevitable. the way he makes you giggle, his respectful and easygoing manner of speaking, the slight touches you two shared on accident.. all of it added to your little crush.

however, you didn’t actually think suguru was falling for you too. you only met up for a few times, plus, you seem out of his league—both due to your age gap and difference in the things you’re pursuing at the time. you were in college, trying to get your degree whilst he already had a job as a powerful leader of an organisation and was trying to achieve one of many goals with them.

there’s not a chance he’d like you, right?

wrong. you were confessed to a couple weeks after your first meeting and have been in a relationship for over 4 months now. it still felt like a dream; having your first boyfriend be such a gentleman. it truly felt like you already met the love of your life whenever he was near.

suguru’s been nothing but sweet and caring to you, has never asked you to engage in any sexual activities nor even ever dared to touch you in places you haven’t consented to. the furthest you’ve gone in terms of intimacy in those four months, were make-out sessions. just some tongue action here and there—adding sprinkles of neck kisses and hickeys.

there were times where you wanted to let things escalate, however you couldn’t bring it upon yourself to ask your lover. suguru wasn’t the person to decide your feelings for you either—if there was no verbal consent coming from your lips, he’s not going any further. even if he wanted to as well.

you were grateful that suguru was that willing to wait for you, no matter how long it might take. not only were you anxious of the possible pain the sex would bring, but it was partially due to the fact that your lover was much more experienced in that field.

what if you were lacking? what if it wasn’t satisfactory enough for him and he’d eventually leave you for it? it’s obvious that suguru wasn’t the type of man to actually do that, however you couldn’t stop the many possibilities from running free in your brain.

your change of mind was rather spontaneous; it was today when you suddenly came up with your final decision. you were staying over at suguru’s, the sun was out and he was sitting on his balcony, reading a book whilst sipping on his coffee. what caught your eye was his bare back and the muscles which were on display to you.

suguru was shirtless and the seams of light were making his skin glisten—the view making your own body hot and bothered. you bit your lip and approached your boyfriend from behind, wrapping your arms around his shoulders before kissing his neck. that skin-to-skin contact made you sure of your decision; you needed him. in more ways than one.

that’s how you ended up saying what you said. the statement left suguru baffled since you uttered it in his ear out of the blue. he couldn’t deny one thing however; the idea certainly did send a shiver of excitement down his spine.

“i said,” you repeat with a little mischievous grin, leaning in closer to your lover once he turned around to face you properly—as if searching for any hints that your words were indeed not his imagination, “i wanna lose my virginity to you.”

it wasn’t. you actually said it—the words that would take your relationship a step further. although, suguru couldn’t help but wonder where your sudden decision came from. his hands found their way to yours and he held onto them like they were two delicate flowers.

“i’m happy to hear that, though i’m curious,” your lover starts off carefully as he places chaste yet soft kisses on your palms, “why so sudden?”

you shrug nonchalantly like you didn’t feel that twinge of nervousness in the back of your mind as you felt suguru’s lips on your skin. ‘it really was happening now, was it?’—that kind of feeling was the cause of your subtle anxiousness.

“well, ehh— you just looked good.. sitting there.. i guess.” you mumble, voice trailing off in embarrassment whilst your eyes darted around the balcony in attempt to avoid suguru’s gaze. your flustered expression and adorable confession makes him laugh gently. it was not a mocking laugh at all—more of an amused one;

“just when i thought you couldn’t get any cuter..” the long-haired man muses, the locks of his bangs grazing ever so slightly against your hands as he keeps holding them, “you never fail to surprise me, do you know that?”

suguru had a way with words that made you weak in the knees. or maybe it’s simply because he’s shirtless and kissing your palms so romantically. you don’t know which one it was.

“but, love,” suguru continues carefully as he stands up, your eyes following his as he towers over you, “are you a hundred percent sure? i don’t want to do anything you aren’t comf—“

“yes.” your answer cut your boyfriend off and he’s left in shock once more. your eyes were filled with determination, yet the faint glint of nervousness in them didn’t escape suguru’s sight. you’ve given your verbal consent and are even the first one to suggest the idea— what more could he ask of you?

there hung a silence between you two, the breeze blowing through suguru’s dark locks making him look even more majestic than he already was. you had no doubt about it; today was going to be the day. it had to be.

“then, if you’d let me have this,” his low voice sounded more sensual than it had ever been as his hand found its place on your cheek, fingertips rubbing against your ear, thumb softly pressing onto your skin—

a slow and romantic kiss followed straight afterwards. it had caught you slightly off guard, even when knowing fully well that this was what you were longing for.

his lips moved in tandem against yours, the soft touch making you feel certain emotions that you hadn’t even thought existed. this man whom you called your lover had never been unable to expose you to new sensations. and soon, he’ll grant you another one. a much pleasurable one.

one arm circled your waist, the other held up, hand on the back of your head to deepen the passion-filled kiss you shared. his lips parted your lightly trembling ones, the tips of your tongues attentively rubbing against one another as if to test the waters; was it fine to go further? are we actually doing this?

you were. it was set in stone as your throat formed soft noises of satisfaction, shaky breaths being exchanged by the two lovers on the balcony—not one of you realising that the weather was changing in the background. the sun was setting, creating the perfect mood for the situation as you were still engrossed by each other’s moves and touches.

it was only for the sake of catching your breath that you had pulled away. your cheeks felt hot, as did your entire body which was still pressed against suguru’s—chest to chest. the proximity was one you both had enjoyed many moments before, however this instant was unlike any other. you both knew as you stared at each other in silence, your quick breaths doing the talking instead.

“will you let me..” the voice of which you have grown to adore spoke to you, the owner grasping your attention once more by holding onto your hand. suguru’s fingers smoothly slid across your skin until they found the puzzle they were meant to complete—that being the gaps between your own fingers. once your hands were tightly intertwined, the man finishes his sentence;

“will you let me love you?”

his face was still close to yours as he uttered those beautiful words to you, warm breath lightly fanning the thin strands of hair on your cheeks to the side, lips subconsciously trying to brush against yours once more. but, they could wait. they could wait until the agreement leaves your mouth.

“of course.” the answer escapes before you could even register it properly. this makes suguru smile against your lips as he captured them in another sweet kiss. he muttered a small ‘thank you’ and then swept your legs off the floor—strong arms placed under your thighs to hold you up against his body whilst the hungry kisses continue.

suguru doesn’t know how he got there; carrying you over to his bed, settling you down onto the soft mattress, his body caging yours underneath him, eyes fluttering over every detail of your exposed skin. he hadn’t had you like this ever before; he hadn’t had you in his bed for a reason as sinful as this, only ever for cuddles or sleep.

“you’re beautiful.” the dark-haired man whispers as he carefully takes off the clothing covering your figure—the gorgeous skin his hands still have yet to explore. suguru can’t remember the last time he has treated anyone like this; like a treasure he’s had the honour to find and keep to himself. there hasn’t been a single woman in his life that he’s cared for this much—you’re the only one capable of mellowing him and his heart.

“stunning,” another compliment; another breath spent to praise you. your lover’s fingers teased the edges of your bra, lips kissing down your collarbone and towards the centre of your chest—each touch being done with precision. your bra became undone a second later and you let the straps fall of your arms, all the way until your breasts were fully revealed.

suguru’s breath hitches, mouth forming more saliva than in any previous instants, the liquid being pushed down his throat with a gulp. you didn’t have the chance to feel conscious of yourself in a moment like this; the dim light of the bedside lamp shone on suguru’s face, his lips glistening with a mixture of your saliva whilst his gaze was lingering on the new sight in front of him—he was utterly obsessed.

“may i?” his hands were already reaching out for the plump flesh and they came in touch once you nodded shyly. his palms were warm as they kneaded your breasts and his fingers brushed against your nipples, which made you whimper from how sensitive they were now that someone else has finally touched them.

suguru took notice of your reaction and put pressure on both small buds once again, thumbs rubbing your areolas in circular motions, “that good, princess?”

“mhmm— y-yes,” you mutter through a moan. your body was pushed further onto the mattress as your lover put more of his weight on you, your entire chest area getting covered by licks and kisses, slow and deliberate ones that left you yearning for more. suguru’s eyes gazed up at yours for consent once his parted lips hovered just above your sensitive nipples, his breath on them alone making you squirm already.

with another nod, suguru wasted no time taking one nipple into his warm mouth—wetting it with his saliva as his tongue slid around the area. his long fingers squeezed, twisted and pulled on your other nipple to give you both stimulations at once.

“mm, so good.” his muffled voice caused goosebumps to appear on your skin. suguru slowly lets his lips travel across your tits, sucking on them, even kissing down the curves until he reaches your torso. he gives that area the same amount of love and attention whilst your fingers were tangled around his smooth, long hair. suguru clearly seemed to enjoy the sensations; he let out small moans and hums against your bare skin to indicate that you should continue playing and tugging at his locks.

his tongue abruptly came to a stop right above the waistline of your panties—the barrier he was about to reach past for the first time. the hesitation was visible in his body language, however his fingers eventually tugged at the fabric, preparing to take it off.

your heart was beating out of your chest as you watched suguru slowly pull the last piece of cloth away. your thighs pressed together on instinct, stopping your panties from exposing your bare cunt.

“should i stop?” suguru asks with a raised eyebrow, fingers pulling away from your underwear now that he’s seen you close your legs. you didn’t want him to stop—it’s just the nerves that made your body move on its own command;

“please— no,” you shake your head, biting your lip as you swallowed your own saliva out of pure desire. you craved him now that it’s come this far, “need you. need you so bad, suguru.”

those words caused suguru’s brain to shut down. any irrelevant thoughts were thrown out of the window; the only thing his mind was telling him to do, was to take care of your needs. your body was laid out on his bed—trusting eyes looking up at his in anticipation, pretty hands grasping onto his sheets like it’d calm you down.

“i’m all yours, sweetheart.” suguru sighs, fingertips slightly shaking as he pulls your panties down to your ankles, eyes pausing on the revelation. to say that suguru was simply rendered speechless, was an understatement. that man was on the verge of letting loose of any self-control and just dive his face right between your thighs, eating you out like he’s fantasised of doing for a while now.

“fuck.” your boyfriend closed his eyes for a moment to collect himself before opening them to smile down at you—the handsome smile that was one of the many reasons you fell in love with him, “i’ll be careful. i promise.”

naturally, you nodded along. you’ve built up enough trust between one another during the past few months to let yourself be vulnerable in front of him. the palm of his hands patted your thighs slightly before spreading them apart, once again showing your glistening folds, a slight wetness to them from your own arousal.

suguru couldn’t help but lick his lips at the sight. he’d already have devoured your dripping cunt if it wasn’t for his self-control. but, it was your first time. he couldn’t rush into things just yet.

“thank you, baby.” the dark-haired man whispered under his breath. he was showing his gratitude for the sight you allowed him to see—a sight only he had ever seen before. the only man to be able to witness the beauty before him. that fact alone made his eyes darken in lust ever so slightly.

his fingers carefully slid across your vulva, your bodily fluid coating the skin which makes him shiver and his fingers get bolder. the cute sounds that filled his ears were only making this even better for him.

the way your hips bucked up slightly into his touch—just asking for suguru to take you right then and there—was driving him insane. every vein in his body felt like it could pop with how much he was restraining his own self from acting out of line. his finger easily slid into the little hole and suguru almost couldn’t believe it; your pussy was clamping down on his finger, your insides tightly wrapped around him to the point that even he wouldn’t know if his dick would fit in.

“hnnngh, suguru, please— wan’ your cock already,” that dirty sounding sentence was one he didn’t expect to hear from a virgin. it made him shake his head with a small, delighted chuckle; you really never failed to surprise him.

“i know you do,” suguru purrs, pressing kisses against the curves of your tits whilst another finger of his joined to stretch your pussy out properly, “but i need to prep you enough if you wanna take my cock. can you be patient for me, sweetheart?”

“m’kay. gonna try..” his fingers pumped in and out of you, the feeling of them curling up deep inside you made your walls squeeze against them. you’ve played with yourself before, of course, however it was then that you discovered that nothing could ever compare to the real thing: suguru’s long and slightly girthy fingers.

just when you thought that it couldn’t get any better, you felt a third finger—not inside you--but on your clit, rubbing the small bundle of nerves like you could’ve never done to yourself. suguru was so precise and exact with his actions which showed his experience. that’s another reason of why you’ve put all your trust in him. getting your virginity taken by a sweet, older and experienced man was probably ten times better than losing it to any guy your age, who were probably only out for sex.

suguru was there to make love to you.

your back arched once you felt suguru’s fingers increase their pace, the wet and squelchy sounds echoing through the room as they got louder the more your pussy got played with, his thumb almost overstimulating your clit to the point of release already—that’s how superb your lover’s hand movements were.

“no, no. can’t have you cum on my fingers like that.” you whine once you felt suguru take his fingers back the same moment you were about to reach your first orgasm by someone else’s hands. the older man smirks at this and kisses you on the lips, pulling away slowly with your bottom lip between his teeth, letting it lightly flop back into place as he lets go; “i wanna have you cum together with me, okay?”

you couldn’t refuse such a romantic request, thus you nod. suguru smiles back at you once more before his hands move to take off his sweatpants, tossing the piece of clothing to the side. your eyes widened as you were propped on your elbows, gaze lingering on the massive bulge formed at the crotch area, his boxers not hiding much of the shape.

once the underwear was off as well—that’s when you realised that your underlying anxiousness was not for nothing. suguru’s cock sprung free, it was slightly curved near his pink tip, drops of pre-cum flowing down the length. you haven’t ever seen a dick in real life, only ever on the internet, so this had left you stunned. you didn’t know what the average size was for a man, but there’s one thing you knew for sure: suguru was definitely way above the average size.

“cat got your tongue, princess?” he teased, his hand absentmindedly pumping his cock to the sight of your naked body underneath him. suguru didn’t even know that he started doing that in front of you; it was out of pure instinct. he couldn’t hide the excitement in his body, his shaft twitching in his hand as if it desperately wanted to feel your tight cunt around it.

“uhm, s-suguru..” you stammer a bit, biting your lip as your eyes followed his hand motions which got faster once your sweet voice called out to him. something about you looking a tad bit intimidated by his size made him want to destroy your insides to mush—have you beg him to fuck you as he bullies his whole length into your poor, small cunt.

“i know, i know..” suguru reassures you, free hand giving you a few consoling head pats, “i’ll try to make it as less painful as possible, okay?”

you hum and watch how your lover settles between your legs, spreading them enough to kneel before you, upper body bending forward to place soft pecks on your forehead; he was encouraging and preparing you more in his own way.

your arms instantly wrapped around his back, sweaty palms set underneath his shoulder blades—you took a deep breath and closed your eyes, just waiting on that moment. that feeling you’ve been craving, yet also have been avoiding.

you waited for a bit, however the only sounds heard and sensations felt were the slight dent in the mattress near one side of your body, the bed creaking faintly. suguru was leaning on side of his body, one arm stretched out to open a drawer, apparently searching for a condom.

once you realised what he was doing, you shook your head and tapped his back twice to regain suguru’s attention. his gaze immediately flickered over to yours and his head tilted to the side in curiosity; “i want the full experience—no condom, please.”

his eyes widened at the request. you seemed to be dead serious, eyes glinting determinedly, lips forming a little pout— it was impossible to refuse you, although suguru knew that he had to play the role of the older, more wise and experienced lover in the back of his mind.

he parted his lips to list off the reasons why you should let him use a condom, yet the words died on his tongue. you were impossible to say ‘no’ to. not when you’re looking up at him with those pretty eyes.

“whatever princess wants, princess gets.”

suguru prodded your entrance with the fat head of his cock, circling the hole and wetting it more by using a mixture of his pre-cum and your own arousal. you took another deep breath and tried your best to hold tightly onto your boyfriend, arms wrapped tightly around his back with your face nuzzled in the crook of his neck—bracing for impact.

“tell me if it hurts too much,” suguru whispers in your ear, leaving one last kiss on your temples before pushing his hips forward, folds stretching out and apart to allow his cock through and into your pussy.

did it hurt like you expected? yes. it most certainly did. maybe even worse than you were prepared for.

“fuck— nhhh, fuckfuckfuck!” you hiss whilst your nails dig into the skin of suguru’s back, probably leaving red marks because of how much you’re clinging onto him—like your life depened on it. that’s quite literally what it felt like to you; body being forced to part and make way for suguru inside you, pussy feeling like it was burning by how big of a stretch it was to fit him in—if he actually would be able to push all of his inches into your tight hole.

“sshh, shh, it’s okay, try to relax for me, yeah?” your lover comforts you the best he could, stilling his movements for a couple seconds before gently slipping his cock further into you. it pained him to see the discomfort written over your face, however you hadn’t made any clear signs of wanting this to come to a halt. in fact, you were encouraging him to continue whenever he stopped at any indication of hurt.

“i can take it.. p-promise,” you manage to moan out. suguru breathed in deeply at your words and nodded, kissing your lips in hopes to distract you from any pain you’re feeling, “you’re too good to me, sweetheart. really.”

both of you exhaled deeply as suguru finally bottomed out, a long minute of reassurance and pushing now behind your back. your eyes had watered up a little, chest heaving as you tried to accommodate to the new feeling inside of you.

“take your time.” suguru utters gently, voice sultry and sweet whenever its directed at you. his lips graze against your cheeks, smothering the area with pecks to take your mind off anything else. the locks of black hair tickle your chin and nose, the hairtie that usually kept a good chunk of his hair in a bun now out of sight.

suguru hadn’t taken anyone’s virginity before and that’s what also made this opportunity special to him. he didn’t know how to thank you with words, so he showed his gratitude throughout his actions; lips kissing your shiny tears away, moving across your face to your forehead and eventually to your own round lips which had formed a cute pout.

you could feel suguru smile against your mouth, his tongue gently tracing the outline of your lips whilst mumbling words of affection and praise; “you’re taking it so well, baby. such a good girl for me— love you so much.”

you giggled lightly at your lover’s appreciative remarks, focusing on returning the kiss instead of the tingling feeling in your lower body. you pulled away after a bit and looked up at him with nothing but pure adoration; “i love you too, suguru.”

if suguru had the ability to freeze time, he’d want to do it during this moment, just to relive this bit over and over. he’s sure that this exact instant will be engraved into his memory for the many years to come.

and once you’ve given him the green light to move, he did it with caution, slowly but surely. his hips moved back and then forwards, girthy cock dragging along your walls at a leisurely pace, but just enough to make your pain transform into pleasure.

suguru’s big hands were placed on your hips, sometimes they’d leave their position to cup your chin and make you face him. he doesn’t want you to look away from his eyes; he’ll think you don’t like this if you do. besides, the thing he loves most about being in the missionary position, is that he’s able to hear how good he’s making you feel whilst looking into your eyes to see your face scrunch up in satisfaction. it’s so romantic and perfect. just like you.

“my little princess is so pretty.” suguru sighs in content and kisses your tears away, thrusting into your tight cunt in a comfortable pace—not too fast but not too slow, “the way you take my cock and still manage to look beautiful while doing it— you’re incredible.”

if the physical pleasure wasn’t enough, his added commentary would certainly be. you moan and whimper phrases that sound like his name over and over again; you didn’t know what else to say as your mind was foggy with the amazing sensations your body was experiencing for the first time. that was fine with suguru since all he wants was to see you enjoy yourself—this moment was for you. everything he did was for you—every thrust, every kiss, every touch.

“nhhg, too good, so good!” you mewl and leave more scratch marks across suguru’s back, ones which he didn’t mind at all. it only served as further proof of this special moment. the tip of his cock kissed the deepest parts of your insides, puffy folds parted widely to make room for more of his length until it felt like he actually was balls deep.

“mhm—you’re, haah, tight..” the once calm and collected man seemed to let loose of himself the more he felt your cunt swallow him all the way, gripping onto his dick as if you didn’t want to ever let go. suguru grunts and moves down to leave a couple hickeys across your neck, hips non-stop pushing against yours, “don’t think i can last long—fuck, yeah—you feel amazing, baby.”

your eyes roll back as the pleasure seems to build up in your stomach as well. it felt like a coil that threatened to snap at any moment and it’d release another immense wave of pleasure upon breaking. your body was on fire, sweaty and hot, just like suguru’s.

“can you cum with me, princess? can you wait and hold on for me?” he asks, and the questions sound impossible, however you could at least try your best to fulfil his desires. you’d also want nothing more than to reach your peak together with the man you loved.

“okay—mmhh—together.” you nod and your body tenses up, legs subconsciously moving to wrap around suguru’s waist, heels of your feet simultaneously tapping against his lower back along with his hip movements. you didn’t know how much longer you could hold out for as your breathing patterns changes, whiney gasps and choked up moans escaping the back of your throat as your clit bumps against his pelvis over and over.

“almost, almost—“ suguru curses through gritted teeth, his jaw clenching while yours did the opposite. your body rocked back and forth and the bed felt like it was shaking along as well. you could tell by the way suguru’s hips rolled against yours that he was close—his eyebrows were furrowed, eyes half-lidded but not closed to still hold contact with yours and his hands clutched onto your waist. all indications of his nearing climax.

“mnph, gonna cum— shit, shit, shit, i’m gonna cum—“ suguru swears under his breath a couple times more before snapping back into reality at the last few seconds. he realised once again that he didn’t have a condom on, so his first rational thought was to pull out and finish himself outside of your body.

you were also nearing your own orgasm, not thinking rationally due to the intensity of the moment, any other thoughts except for the man on top of you were thrown out of the window. you felt suguru try to pull his twitching and throbbing cock out before it could spurt its cum inside of your dripping cunt.

you whined and shook your head, pulling suguru in for a deep kiss while tightening the grasp your legs had around his hips; “w-want to feel you cum in me— want you to fill me up while i finish too.”

suguru’s breath caught in his throat, almost choking on his own saliva from your bold requests. his only rational thought instantly vanished from his mind, now all that’s left was pure love, pleasure and desire. the mental image of his cum spilling and filling your pussy to the brim drove him to the edge.

“all yours, i’m going to give it all to you, princess, yeah? fuck !” both of you relinquished in the feeling of bliss, the warmth and build up reaching its designated ending— the expected waves of pleasure washing over you both. series of soft moans, whimpers and groans filled the room as your pussy was flooded with lots of hot cum.

it was like suguru hadn’t came in years—that’s how incredible that orgasm was experienced by the dark-haired male. the same thing goes for you; your legs were shaking, hips squirming up in aftershocks as you squeezed down on suguru’s cock, quite literally milking him dry of every drop.

“nhh, haah— suguru, love,” your tired and powerless whispers caught his attention immediately. your trembling hand held onto his cheek in attempt to make him look at you. suguru’s fingers curled around your wrist, turning your hand away from his face and to the side so he’ll have access to your palm. his lips left a ticklish trail of pecks on them until his mouth found its home: your lips.

the two of you exchanged deep, exhausted breaths, your boyfriend eventually pulling out and rolling onto his side to cradle you into his arms—hand placed on the back of your head to rest your body against his chest. the following seconds were spent cuddling as you tried to regain composure.

“you were amazing.” suguru sighs, chin resting on top of your head whilst his hand rubbed your bare back in comfort, “are you okay, sweetheart? nothing feeling off or anything of that sorts?”

you shake your head and snuggle up against your lover, content with how things are right now. the afterglow of your little session—of your first time, made you happier than ever. you couldn’t believe it’d feel this good. maybe it’s due to the one you’ve lost your virginity to.

“i’m okay.” you mumble and lift your head up to look suguru in the eyes, faces only inches away from each other. there were no words in the dictionary that could describe how you two felt. the closest word to explain it would be flawless.

“i’m glad, baby. thank you for trusting me.” suguru flashes you a small smile and strokes your head. you stay like that, bodies intertwined in a deep and comfortable hug, whispers of sweet nothings filling your ears and subtle gestures of love making you feel secure.

a couple minutes later and suguru noticed how you started to doze off. he chuckled to himself before pulling away from your hug and standing up, only to have you pout and complain about the loss of warmth.

“i’m just going to clean you up, love.” the soft-spoken man utters to you, laughing quietly at the adorable state you were in at the moment. you were so dependent on him.

“should i prepare us a warm, relaxing bubble bath as well?” he asks, squatting down near the edge of his bed and taking your hands in his, maintaining eye contact as per usual.

“that’d be nice.” you nod and feel your eyelids close slowly, “can’t promise i won’t fall asleep, though.”

suguru lets out a soft exhale through his nose, corner of his lips curling upwards at your little comment. he couldn’t believe he ended up dating such an unbelievably wonderful girl. it’s a blessing in his life of curses.

“i’ll make sure to at least clean you up if you do fall asleep, don’t worry. you’re safe with me.”

you were sure he was an angel sent down from heaven. it was more than clear to you—even if it may not be to many others out there.

“thank you, suguru.” you murmur as your body relaxes into the soft mattress, “i love you.”

“i love you too. more than you could imagine.”

[her-favorite]

THREE’S COMPANY; M. STURNIOLO & M. BEER

MATT STURNIOLO X F!READER X MADISON BEER

warnings: SMUT, NOT A THREESOME!!, madison x reader / matt x reader (only), mean!dom!matt/sub!reader/soft!dom!madison, sex in public, strap on (mads), matt AND madison the munch, degrading, i thiiink that’s it (besides the usual)!

wc: 13,906

a/n: i’m so sorry for the people that were waiting for this for how long it took!! it took me so long to figure out the plot and once i did, i got to writing! soo hopefully you guys like longer fics, get some snacks and enjoy :)!

SYNOPSIS: When Matt and Madison both have their eyes on their friend, what better solution was there then to share?

tags!: @chrissv4mp @mattybsgroupie @cuntymilaa @ihavenoideayimhere @fratboychrisera @lizzymacdonald06 @riasturns @emotionalblues @y0urval3ntine @pinksturniolo @blahbel668 @x0x0bunny @watercolorskyy @riversandwinds @https--roman @fratbrochrisgf @chrisbesitos @vrlixlia

m.b. & m.s. masterlist

-

Neither of them had planned this. It just happened.

When you had walked into Madison’s life, you both had immediately hit it off. You were her best friend. You both would go on weekly friend-dates, have movie nights, go shopping, all of it. There was almost nothing you guys wouldn’t do together.

The day that Madison had introduced you to the Sturniolo triplets was the day things changed.

When you had met Matt, he had immediately felt infatuated with you. And, despite you being as close as possible with Madison, you hadn’t known of her crush on you - and, thankfully, she was unaware of yours as well. But it was complicated; you had feelings for your best friends.

Every time you, Madison and the triplets would hang out, you couldn’t help but notice the way Madison would gravitate towards you, as if marking you as her own. You spent so much time denying that fact, too unconvinced that she could even have an inkling of a crush on you. But the way her arm slung around your waist or her hand fitting into yours was a hint. Though, you chalked it up to her just being a touchy person.

With Matt, it was different. He wasn’t as affectionate as Madison was, steering away from making any voluntary physical intimacy between you two, too scared to make you uncomfortable. He would occasionally rest a hand on your back if he noticed you getting nervous in a busy outing, or to move you away when you’re unaware of someone else’s presence around you. Matt’s touch always seemed to be when he deemed needed, not like Madison’s where it was when she wanted it.

Today, your entire friend group had arranged a hang out at the new restaurant that had just opened up down the street. Once you figured out Madison was going, you had agreed. Your decision was only amplified when you had gotten word that the triplets were going as well.. which, obviously, meant Matt.

It was borderline embarrassing the way you centered your outings on whether your two best friends were going or not. You had tried to convince yourself that it was just because you felt the most comfortable around them, so it felt safer to be out when they were around.. which wasn’t necessarily a lie, it was just.. not the only answer.

Madison texted you earlier, offering to pick you up and take you with her to the restaurant. Without a doubt in your mind, you agreed, receiving a cute typed out smile and a thumbs up in return.

Hours went by until Madison had texted you saying she was at your house. You had gotten ready and sprayed on the right amount of perfume, hoping your friend would say something about it.. god, you were whipped. And she wasn’t even yours!

Smiling as you rush out to her, it tenfolds as your eyes notice her sitting in her car, waiting for you. Looking away from her radio, Madison’s brown eyes light up as a wide smile settles across her soft, pink lips. Despite knowing her for so long, every time you both saw each other was like the first time. The thought always made your heart race as it reminded you that Madison felt the same way as you whenever you saw her.. could she feel a certain way about something else, too?

“Hi.” Madison drags out the vowel with a smile as you hop into the passenger side. You return it, reaching over to buckle yourself in. Leaning back against the seat, the sound of the music fills the otherwise silent car. “I’m glad you’re going. I was hoping it wouldn’t be me just sulking the entire time ‘cause you weren’t there.” She teases, but deep down, Madison knew her words were true. Despite her loving her friends to the end of the earth, she felt a different way about you. She didn’t know why.. or even what she felt, but it was weird and foreign - a feeling she’s never felt for someone before.

Her words make your heart skip a beat. Madison has always had this effect on you, somehow making you flustered by the littlest things. You hoped that she didn’t notice the way you reacted, too nervous for her to figure out the way you truly feel for her. If you were honest with yourself, it was pathetic the way you liked her. She was your best friend.. and you hated the way you would do anything for her.

“Yeah? You’d miss me that much?” You smile. Your tone had copied hers, a teasing edge to your voice. Despite the joking, you kind of hoped she was telling the truth. You’d be lying if you said your heart wouldn’t crack a little if she denied.

Madison rolls her eyes at your question. “Duh.” She says, mindlessly moving her hand slightly to squeeze yours. Madison wasn’t a stranger to affection, she always loved being close to you - in any way. You never declined her touch, too enamored with the contact from the girl to even think of saying no. “When do I not miss you?” She adds, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world that you were constantly on her mind. The thought made you spiral.

“Oh! It’s almost past six, we should get going.” Madison notices, startling you out of your daze. Her hand had left you to move the gearshift, the warmth of her palm immediately leaving you. You sigh quietly as you relax into the seat again, Madison’s car pulling out of your driveway as she starts to drive down your street, to the restaurant your plans were set at.

“You okay?” She asks, in that soft, perfect voice of hers. The question caught you off guard as you turn your head to look over at her. Her eyes were fixed on the road ahead, but you noticed the way she looked away when you had moved to watch her.

“Yeah, ‘m’fine.” You mumble. “Why?” You ask, your brows furrowing slightly. You knew Madison could read you like a book; it was almost irritating the way she knew you and your body language so well.

To Madison, you’ve been acting distant lately. She didn’t know what was wrong or if she had done something, but it was bothering her. Were you growing apart from her? Did you not like hanging out with her anymore? She didn’t want you push you away, truly, but she was too focused on getting the answer to her own questions.

She shrugs slightly, switching her footing to let the gas peddle go as the light turns green. “Just.. wanted to make sure nothing was bothering you.” Madison replies, her hand tapping lightly against the steering wheel. “I feel like,” she stops herself, pouting her lips as she thinks if her next words were a good idea or not. Biting the bullet, she says, “I feel like you’re.. drifting from me.” Madison admits quietly. There was an edge of anxiety in her voice that your mind had instantly picked up on.

Her words made your eyes widen slightly. How long has she been thinking this? You sit up in your seat, looking over at her. It wasn’t like you could tell her what was going through your head. Hey, Mads, I love you in a non-friends way! But, no, I’m fine!

You swallow dryly as your eyes wander her side profile. She was perfect.. “Madison, I.. I’m sorry.” You say softly. “I’ve just been in my head a lot recently, which isn’t an excuse, but,” you shrug, trailing off. “I’m sorry I made you feel like that.” You say earnestly, watching her reaction. You didn’t know what you would’ve done had you revealed the truth.. well, you weren’t lying per-say - it just wasn’t the entire truth.

Madison soaks in your words as she nods. Her grasp on the wheel relaxes at your explanation, glancing over at you as she presses on the brakes as she stops at a red light. Her eyes look into yours, the dark, hypnotizing irises that make your breath hitch. She reaches over the console between you and gently takes your hand, giving it a soft squeeze - whether it was to reassure you or her. You felt your heart skip a beat, despite your friend’s natural affection.

“I understand, Y/N.” Madison nods, subconsciously rubbing her thumb against the side of yours. “Sorry for springing this on you — ”

“Don’t apologize.” You shake your head and squeeze her hand. “I’m glad you told me.” Your voice comes out softer than usual, your sincerity clear in your tone. Madison nods and gives you a smile.

As she turns down the street, you realize that she’s yet to pull her hand away from yours. Did she even notice that she was still holding your hand? You couldn’t complain either way, but.. you hated the way your stomach filled with butterflies at the touch.

The restaurant came into view down the street as Madison drives closer. There was a bunch of cars already parked in the lot around it, some of them you recognizing as your friends. Madison mumbles to herself as she drives around, trying to find a parking space. Once you help her, she places it in park and shuts off her car. Her free hand moves to grab her purse before tensing up as she realizes her other hand was still in yours.

“Sorry.” Madison mutters, reluctantly taking away the warmth of her hand. Your palm immediately felt the chill from the AC that was previously on, but you shrugged her apology off. It was often that Madison held your hand, but right now, something felt different.

Stepping out of her car, you sigh as you try to forget all of your loud thoughts. Being in there with Madison, it was difficult. Recently - whenever you’re hanging out with her one on one - it was hard keeping your feelings at bay. It was like they doubled over as you talked with her; just being in the same vicinity as her made your heart flutter.

Rounding her car, you finally got a good look at her outfit.

Clad in her signature baggy blue jeans, they sit on her legs as they blow slightly from the wind. A strap on her tank top was shown as her zip up jacket hung off one shoulder. The outfit was very Madison, cute but comfortable. You hated the way you couldn’t keep your eyes off of her.

Making your way inside, you follow behind Madison as she walks up to the host’s stand. Giving him the name of your friend that held the event, the host nods as he leads you towards the long table. Your friends sit together, chatting and laughing before they smile, noticing you and Madison make your way over. Waves exchange, as well as greetings.

You make your way to an empty seat, Madison accompanying you to your right. You talk with your friends, all while the heat from Madison’s body beside you radiates onto you, distracting you.

Your attention’s snapped to the sounds of footsteps coming closer. Looking over, three familiar silhouettes make their way closer. Your lips curl up as the triplets come by the table, greetings exchanged again as people chat and laugh with each other.

“Hey, Y/N!” Chris smiles, bending over to give you a hug as you sit in your chair. Despite being the closest with Matt, Chris was like a brother to you - texting you, calling you whenever he claims to miss you, or giving you random bear hugs whenever he deems necessary. Chris has always been an affectionate person with his loved ones, it was easy to feel cared for by him.

The three of them take the seats beside you, Matt claiming the chair next to you. He gave you a sweet smile as he sits down, his usual greeting falling from his lips. Your eyes focus on him, subconsciously raking along his outfit. A white tanktop was underneath a baby blue polo, matched with jeans. The outfit was, arguably, one of your favorites - you always thought he looked really good in blue.

When it came to Matt and Madison, it was easy for your attention to be drawn to them. It was as if they were some sort of magnet to you, always attracting your focus on to them. It was frustrating in a way, having your eyes on them whenever they were around, but the way you felt about them.. it was undeniable. And you hated that. It was wrong, they’re your best friends. Besides, it wasn’t like you could have both.

Orders have been placed as your drinks have already been served. The table was filled with chatter as the sound takes over the restaurant, adding to the other families and couples that were also inside the building. Conversations flowed easily as your head turned from left to right, friend to friend.

You jump slightly as you feel a warm hand welcome itself on your thigh. Your eyes dart down to it, noticing the french tips on the acrylics that were pressed on to their nails. It was obvious who it was, but your eyes trailed the arm up as you look over at Madison beside you. It wasn’t unusual for her to have her hands on you, but in public?

Something felt different tonight; like the feeling you had earlier in her car. Was she being possessive when she slightly tightened her grasp on your thigh, or was it just a habit? Were you reading too much into it when you saw Matt’s blue eyes darken when he noticed Madison’s hand on you? Or were you just convincing yourself that his clenched jaw meant that he was impatient for food and not because of how he wished that was his palm on your thigh?

A gasp leaves your lips as Madison’s nails lightly graze against your thigh, bare skin shown as your skirt rode up from sitting down. Your thighs squish together, but Madison’s fingers didn’t care - they trace along the area near your inner thigh, as if teasing you on purpose. Was she doing this on purpose? You knew better than to get your hopes up, but this felt like something more than just.. usual affection. You were used to Madison being physical with you, but she’s never held your thigh like this - it felt almost.. intimate in a way.

“Meet me in the bathroom? Please?” Madison whispers in your ear, eliciting goosebumps on your skin. There were times where you and her would go to the restroom together to touch up makeup or to just take a breath from the public and sit with each other. But now.. this felt unusual; like she had some sort of ulterior motives. But something inside you was drawn to her, begging to accept her offer.

With a dry swallow, you nod. Meeting her hazel eyes, Madison’s full lips curl up at your answer. “Good.” She mumbles. Glancing away, she gives a, “be right back,” to the people around her, squeezing your thigh. The action makes you inhale sharply, not expecting it. Madison gets up from her seat, giving you a look as she tucks it under the table before walking in the direction of the restroom sign at the other side of the room.

Waiting another minute, your eyes scan the table, hoping not to have any attention on you. Letting out an exhale, you try to shrug off the nerves as you get up from your chair. Biting at your bottom lip, you push the seat in before quietly walking away as you follow Madison’s previous footsteps.

On the way there, you hadn’t felt those blue eyes on you.

Shoving the door open to the women’s restroom, you look around to make sure it was empty. Thankfully, the small room was vacant as you made your way in further. Swallowing nervously, you mumble, “Mads?”

The click of a lock sounds through the room as your heart rate picks up. Looking over to the stalls, you watch the way the white door opens and your best friend pops her head out. A quiet chuckle leaves you, despite your undeniable nerves. Why were you so nervous? She’s your best friend, nothing weird could happen. Besides, you’re in public.

“Sorry for taking you away from everyone.” Madison breaks the silence, walking out of the stall and coming closer to you. Shaking your head, you dismiss her words. “I just wanted to talk to you.” She adds. Licking her lips, she reaches forward and gently takes your hands in hers. A jolt of warmth had flowed through you as your palm met hers, your heart fluttering at the contact.

“What’re you doing to me?” Madison whispers, seeming to be more of a question to herself than anyone else. The words confuse you, but you let her speak. “You’re so pretty, Y/N.” She mumbles, leaning down to press her forehead to yours. Your breath hitched in your throat at the action. You and Madison have cuddled countless times, but this.. this felt amorous.

Madison’s breath hits against your lips. Despite the warmth of it, it sends a chill down your spine being so close to her. “I need you.” She whispers, her soft words flowing into the air around you both. They ring and ring in your ears, replaying until you get the courage to reply. Your lips part as your heart starts to beat faster.

“Have me.”

At your confirmation, Madison doesn’t wait a second to lean forward and press her lips to yours. You inhale through your nose, your eyes closing in content as your heart beats faster and faster. This felt like it was out of one of your dreams. You’re kissing your best friend.. you’re kissing Madison.

Her pink lips mesh with yours, the entire scenario feeling surreal. Her lips were so soft against yours, pillows that soothed your inner nerves. Your hands were hesitant as they moved up to gently cup her cheeks. Madison smiles into the kiss. Despite not being able to see it, it was still contagious as your lips curl up. At that, you both break away to regain your breaths as your exhales hit each other’s mouths.

“Needed this for so long.” Madison whispers. Her confession surprises you, but before you could reply, she smashes her lips to yours again. Her hands grasp your hips, fingers massaging into your skin through your clothes. Her tongue licks along your lip, asking for access. Immediately, you couldn’t help but give in as you part your lips, tongues tangling in a desperate kiss. Your hand glides to the back of her head, mixing into her soft, silky hair. Her taste was addicting, the lingering flavor of her cherry chapstick adding to the feeling of her lips. In the back of your mind, you knew you were going to get addicted to this and it scared you. What if this was a one time thing?

Pushing your lips closer to hers - if even possible - you try your best to forget the fleeting thoughts. Madison quickly reciprocates your passion, her tongue roaming your mouth as if it were hers. You couldn’t say you’d mind if she claimed it.

Pulling away from your lips, Madison’s eyes flutter open as you follow her. Swallowing dryly, you make eye contact with her. Her pink lips were swollen from your kisses. Reaching her hand up, she gently takes your bottom lip under her thumb and drags it down. She watches you as she licks her own lips, your lower lip still pulled down as she leans forward again, slowly pushing her tongue to the front of her parted lips as she connects it with yours. The kiss was messy and needy, but it felt so good.

Taking a few steps back, her hands on your hips allow you to follow her. “Want you.” Madison whispers against your lips. She’s slowly pulling you back into the open stall, shutting the door and clicking the lock shut before resting your back against the door. “Let me have you, please.” She breathes, her grip growing possessive on your body.

Mindlessly, you nod. Was this some sort of crazy realistic dream? Your best friend, Madison Beer, was standing in front of you, admitting that she’s wanted you for so long. The thought alone makes your heart race. So long? As long as you wanted her?

“Words, baby. Need to know you want this.” Madison hums softly, bringing her hand up to brush a strand of hair away from your face. Her gentle, yet commanding tone only adds to your growing need.

Nodding again, you reply, “Yes, Madison. Please.” You didn’t care how desperate you sounded, you needed this. You’ve dreamt about this for as long as you can remember, even seeing her in this light makes an ache form between your legs. You couldn’t count the amount of times you’ve woken up from a dream so similar to this - one where you’ve had to soothe the throbbing in your panties.

Madison smiles at your response, nodding slightly. “Already such a good girl for me.” She praises, her hand that was in your hair moving to trace along the side of your face. Her words make your thighs clench, something Madison immediately picks up on. “You like me calling you that, pretty girl?” She smiles, her hands grazing along your body. You nod as you let out a shaky exhale. Humming, Madison licks over her teeth. Her hand takes yours as she leads it down to her crotch. Your eyes widen as you feel something hard beneath her baggy jeans. Glancing from her pants up to her eyes, Madison chuckles lowly at your shocked reaction.

She wore this here?

She presses down on your palm, making your hand grasp the strap harder. You could feel your arousal start to pool as the tingly feeling in your stomach makes your heart beat faster. Leaning forward, Madison grazes her nose along your neck. Your pulse beats quickly against your skin as you rest your head back against the door of the stall. Your eyes flutter shut as her lips start to pepper kisses to your neck. They grow wetter and more eager as seconds go by, traveling down to the neckline of your shirt.

Her hands move to glide up your waist, bunching at the hem of your shirt. “Can I take this off?” Madison murmurs, her lips never stopping their kisses on your skin. With a nod and a quiet, “please,” she does so and haphazardly places your shirt on the small area above the toilet paper dispenser.

Madison lets out an exhale as she takes you in, silently thanking you as you decided to go braless. Leaning back down again, she lays her lips on your skin, taking a leisure pace down your chest. The thought of all your friends being out in the rest of the restaurant was nowhere near the forefront of your mind - the only thing you’re thinking of being Madison.

Your hand rests softly on the back of her head as she gets down to your breasts. Your lips part as a gasp leaves them once Madison’s pretty lips wrap around your nipple. Threading your fingers through her brunette hair, your breathing picks up as her tongue lathers the sensitive area. A whimper escapes you as she starts to suck on it, your hand tugging lightly. Your thighs clench together as your desire for her only seems to grow more intense as the seconds go by.

Madison’s free hand slides up your body and grasps your boob, massaging the tissue. The added stimulation makes another sound emit from your lips as you arch into her touch. Her fingers tweak at your nipple as her mouth pulls on your other one.

Madison detaches from your nipple, your eyes fluttering open to look down at her. A thin string of saliva connects from her lips to your breast, the sight making an uncontrollable whine leave your throat. She chuckles quietly at your reaction, licking her lips to cut the string off. Madison skims her hands along your body, acrylics hooking into your waistband, the light scratch of them sending a shiver down your spine.

“Need to taste you so bad, Y/N.” Madison mumbles. Your fast breathing makes your words more difficult, so you set on nodding. Madison watches your consent as she pulls your skirt down, letting your panties fall with it. Nibbling at her bottom lip, the fabric that hid your lower half sat on the floor as her hazel eyes wandered your now bare body. You felt so exposed, not only to her eyes, but being so vulnerable in public.

“Such a pretty girl.” Madison hums. Her praise sends a jolt of warmth through your body, mixed with her low, sultry tone. “I need you to be quiet for me, okay?” She coos, maintaining eye contact with you as she begins to kneel down. You nod quickly, her words barely clicking in your mind, too caught up in the way your best friend looks on her knees. It was pathetic the way you immediately melted beneath her, ready to obey any order she gives you. But it’s always been like that - this time was just more.. intimate.

At your nod, Madison hums quietly. Gently parting your thighs, you fix your positioning of your feet to give her better access. You swallow heavily as you watch her, your heart racing. You were too close to pinching yourself to make sure this was real.

Madison keeps a firm grip on your thighs before wrapping her hand under one and pushing it on top of her shoulder. It gave her a better opportunity to see and taste you. Looking up at you from between your legs, Madison gives you a smile. “Gonna make you feel so good, baby.” She promises.

Without warning, Madison leans forward and dives in. Licking a stripe up your center, her warm tongue collects your arousal. The sudden action elicits a gasp from you as your hand instinctively reaches for the back of her head. With the smooth surface of the door behind you, there was nothing to hold on to, so your fingers curled into a fist as your head rested back against it. Your bare back held goosebumps from the cold temperature of the door, but your mind was too clouded with the way Madison was making you feel to care about anything else.

She lathers your pussy with her saliva, only adding to the already drenched area. Her brown eyes stay focused on your face as she wraps her full lips around your clit, the sides of them curling up as she watches you let out a breathy moan. Digging her acrylics into your thighs, she eats you out like a woman starved. It was as if she had been waiting for this moment forever and now that she has it, she wasn’t gonna let it go to waste.

Gliding down again, her tongue teases at your entrance. You whine slightly, your fingers tightening in her hair. You knew you admittedly had no reason to be impatient, but you’ve been waiting for this for as long as you can remember. You needed her, and needed her now.

“Shh, angel. I’ll give you whatever you want, okay?” Madison coos softly. The gentleness of her voice and words soothe you immediately, your hand loosening in her soft hair. Nodding, you lick your lips as you decide to meet her gaze. Her brown eyes were darkened, filled to the brim with lust. Pink lips were curled up as she stays put just centimeters away from where you desperately needed her.

As if Madison knew what you were thinking, she leans forward and laps at your wetness again. The action elicited a shaky inhale from you, the intense eye contact with her only fueling the fire that was growing inside you.

The taste of you on Madison’s tongue was like a drug to her. She knew that, now that she has the knowledge of what you taste like, she’s going to be thinking about it every time she looks at you. And, inside, she knew that this was probably a dangerous situation to be in to in the first place, but.. Madison didn’t care - at least, not right now, as she’s tongue deep inside you. And, god, you tasted so good. Madison was done for.

Your chest heaves as Madison greedily soaks in your flavor, your fingers tugging at her hair, mindlessly. The pressure made her whine against you, the vibration making your breath hitch. One of her hands glides away from your thigh, rubbing fast, unrelenting circles to your clit. Her tongue has yet to stop, savoring your taste on it as she wiggles it around. Hazel eyes repeatedly open and flutter shut, wanting to enjoy your flavor, but also wanting to watch you react to her actions.

Madison desperately wanted you to release, seeking for more of your taste. The knot inside your stomach tightened as the pace of her fingers and tongue doesn’t stop, your hand clutching at her brunette locks. Whines and moans left your lips, too caught up in the pleasure to remember where you were right now. Madison didn’t seem to care, besides her hand wouldn’t be able to cover your mouth at her position any way.

“Cum for me, baby. Please.” Madison mumbles into you, immediately resuming her actions once she’s done talking. Her words were the last push, the band inside you breaking as her fingers on your clit only stimulate you more. Crying out her name, your thighs tremble as Madison eagerly laps up your release. It was as if she was trying to quench her thirst of you, to let it satiate her need for you.

Quick breaths leave you as your chest rises and falls in a fast motion. Your eyes are closed as you try to regain your steady breathing, your fingers limp in her hair now. Madison presses one last gentle kiss to your sensitive clit before slowly getting up and placing your leg back on the floor. Keeping her hands at your hips, she helps steady you.

Looking up at her, you have to hold back a sound at the view: her lips were a darker shade of pink, swollen and covered in your arousal. Madison licks her lips, humming at the left over taste of you on her. She leans forward, pressing her forehead to yours again. Even in such intimate moments like this, Madison still is her affectionate self. Her little actions like these remind you that she’s still that same girl you’ve known all these years, the same best friend you’ve been in love with since you’ve known her.

Madison’s breath hits your lips, mingling with yours. “Please.. let me fuck you.” She whispers breathlessly, her blunt words surprising you. Despite that, you loved the way she always spoke her mind, and the way she makes sure you know what she wants only heightens your state of arousal. “Need it.. need you.” Madison grasps your hips tighter, bringing your body against hers.

“Have me.. ‘m’all yours, Mads.” You mutter, swallowing dryly. Your hands move down to her jeans as you keep eye contact with her, only adding to the tension in the small restroom. At your reply, Madison’s eyes darken, her jaw clenching. Hearing you call yourself hers made something inside her snap, not wasting a second from denying herself this any longer.

Madison helps you undo her jeans, letting the baggy material fall to her feet. Her strap sat on her, the sight of it all making your thighs clench together. Never would you have thought you’d see Madison, your best friend, half-naked in front of you with a strap on that she was going to use on you. The view is mouth watering, the way the pink belt wraps around her hips, her smooth skin showing underneath. Your hands reach forward to glide slowly along the hem of her zip-up, fingertips tracing along the bottom of her tank top.

“You want this off?” Madison coos, her hands following yours. Nodding fervently, Madison chuckles at your eagerness. She zips her jacket down and pulls off her top, folding them and letting them join where she put your shirt.

With Madison completely bare in front of you now, you could feel your heart practically trying to break free from your chest. Your hands reach out as you hesitantly glide your fingertips along her sides. She leans into it, letting out a soft, shaky breath when your palms gently cup her breasts. Her hands move to envelop yours, adding pressure to make your palms squeeze the tissue. She lets out a breathy sound from the action, the feeling of her nipples beneath your hands only adding to the throbbing feeling between your legs.

“Can’t wait.” Madison whispers, her hands moving to grasp at your hips. They glide down to your thighs, holding tightly. “Jump.” She commands. You obey, helping her place your legs around her waist. Pinning you to the door, her acrylics dig into the plush skin of your thighs as she steadies you in her grasp. “Fuck, you look so perfect like this. My pretty girl.” Madison praises, her words sending heat straight to your core. Her pretty girl. Did she know what she was doing to you?

Your arms snake around her shoulders as she holds you. Madison looks down, pressing her hips to yours to keep you up. Moving her hands, she parts your lower lips as she slowly glides the tip of the dildo along your pussy. A gasp escapes you, your nails gripping on to the skin of her shoulders.

“You’re gonna look so pretty taking my dick, baby.” Madison hums, as if it was the most normal sentence. Her dirty words elicit a whine from you, the mixed sensation of that and the feeling of the silicone teasing your entrance. She pushes her hips forward, leisurely thrusting the tip inside of you. “Taking me so well, Y/N. Doing so good.” Madison murmurs, her voice soft with care. Her brown eyes watch the way you suck in the pink silicone, the sight making her own arousal begin to travel to her inner thighs.

As she plunges deeper inside you, a whine leaves you as she finally fills you to the hilt. “I know, I know,” Madison coos, rubbing soft circles on your hips with her thumbs. “You look so beautiful taking all of me, sweet girl.” She says, staying still to let you adjust to the size of the silicone. Averting her eyes to yours, her pupils wander your expression. Something inside Madison was telling her this wasn’t real; it couldn’t have been.

But all of that was denied when you jerked your hips forward, whining for her to move. She lets out a low chuckle, licking her lips. “So impatient.” Pulling her hips back, she teases you as she lets the tip rest at your hole, not giving you what you needed.

“Madison! Please, I need - ” You start, ready to beg her.

Madison shakes her head slightly before forcefully thrusting her hips forward. With the rough push, a harsh moan escapes you as your eyes squeeze shut. Nails digging into her skin, your back arches against the door as Madison forms a rhythm with her movements. “No begging, pretty girl. Wanna give you what you need, m’kay?” She huffs, breathing becoming uneven as she moves.

The way that Madison rams her hips into yours leaves you breathless, needy for more, despite the raw way she’s fucking you against the wall of a stall. The thought makes you shiver as you remember exactly where you are: a restaurant, hanging out with all of your friends. This was wrong, beyond wrong. But you couldn’t find it in yourself to care, too high on the feeling of Madison plunging her strap-on deeper and faster into you.

“You.. You were made for me, Y/N.” Madison pants, biting at her bottom lip. Your body jolts with every thrust, your breasts bouncing with each motion. You nod eagerly - mindlessly - at her words. If you were to speak, it’d be incoherent babbles, the utter pleasure heightening as Madison’s thumb reaches down to rub at your clit again.

At a particularly rough jolt of her hips, a cry leaves you. Madison’s gaze immediately turns to your face. “Shh, babygirl, need you to be quiet. Can you do that?” She asks, though never relenting the harsh pace against you. Her words just barely register in your mind, already too fucked-out. You nod, whimpering as you breathe quickly. Madison nods and hums an approval. “Good girl.. such a good fucking girl.” With every word, she thrusts as deep as possible, speaking through clenched teeth.

Your shaky hand immediately travels up to your mouth, muffling the constant noises falling from them. Never have you felt such pleasure from sex before, but with Madison, it was like the only thing you got was pleasure. She was so focused on making sure you felt good, craving the reactions that you give her. Leaning forward, Madison lays her lips on your neck, leaving messy, wet kisses on the skin. Her lips lead down to your collarbone, licking along the canvas of your bare skin, as if trying to claim it as hers.

It wasn’t long before you felt that familiar knot inside your lower stomach again. The entire situation was so overwhelming, from being fucked by your best friend, to being in public, to already have came from Madison’s mouth. You were already sensitive from the previous orgasm, too caught up in the pleasure of it all to let the second one pass.

Clenching around the toy, you move your fingers away from your lips. “I.. ‘m’gonna cum, Mads!” You warn, your thighs tensing around her waist. Madison hums against your skin, popping her lips off of your collarbone where she left a mark. Licking her lips, she moves her head back to watch you.

“Do it. Want you to let go for me, okay? All over my cock.” Madison says, her words harsh, but her tone a mixture between soft and demanding. With her permission, and a few more thrusts, your head hits back against the door as a loud moan leaves your lips before Madison quickly moves her hand and forcefully covers your lips. She helps you ride out the euphoria, your body still trembling slightly against hers.

“Did so good, baby. Took me so well.” Madison praises gently, her hands moving to softly graze along your sides. She slowly helps you down, supporting you as your feet make contact with the floor. Your chest is still heaving as you lean your weight back on the door behind you. “You’re so beautiful.” She mindlessly whispers, brown eyes trailing along your bare, sweaty body. Her words make a tired smile form on your lips as you look over at her.

“Want you to feel good, too.” You mumble, licking your lips as you look her over. The silicone of her strap was wet with your release, sending another wave of heat through you.

Madison clicks her tongue at your words. “This is about you, sweet girl. I want you to enjoy it.” She replies. Shaking your head, your hands move to her hips. Your fingers fiddle with the buckles of the strap she was wearing, asking a silent question if you could take it off. Madison bites at her bottom lip before nodding, watching you undo them. You place it on top of your discarded skirt, too focused on Madison to care about your clothes on the floor of the bathroom - and it seemed to be reciprocated.

“I’ll enjoy this.” You say, more to yourself as you kneel down in front of her. Switching positions, Madison stands by the door where you had previously been. Your hands glide along her smooth thighs, your tongue aching for her taste. She watches you with eager eyes, pink lips parting as you poke your tongue out to lick along her. Over the time, her arousal collected, drenching her. Fluttering your eyes shut, the unique flavor of her had your heart beating out of your chest. It was like nothing you’ve ever tasted before, but you craved more of it, you needed it. How long were you supposed to go before you could taste her again?

Lapping at her greedily, your tongue had a mind of its own as it flickers at her clit. Madison lets out a whimper as her hand brushes through the back of your hair, tangling into the strands. Her acrylics scratch at your head, only adding to the entire sensation.

Your hand reaches up, lathering your middle finger in her wetness before trailing down to her entrance. Teasing it, you waste no time to push it inside her. Madison gasps as her hand tugs at your hair, making you whimper. Moving your digit inside her, you let her adjust to it before adding another, stretching her out. Sucking on her clit, you lather your tongue along it as you look up at her. Her face is scrunched up, lips parted as she pants, her chest rising and falling faster as seconds go by.

Opening her eyes, Madison lets her gaze fall down to you. The sight of you on your knees before her could’ve gotten her off. The way your eyes locked with hers only heightened her state of arousal, the desire flowing through them as you licked at her fervently. Your fingers don’t stop inside her, curling as you keep teasing her clit with your warm tongue.

Madison’s breath hitches at a certain angle from your fingers, her hips instinctively thrusting forward. At the reaction, you keep up your movements, wanting more of her pleasured reactions. A whine leaves her as she tries to hold back other sounds, not wanting to get caught.

“Fuck! Mm.. g - gonna cum.” Madison fumbles out, her thighs tensing as her stomach tightens. You hum against her, replying your approval. With the added vibration, a moan rips from her throat as Madison’s thighs shake, the knot inside her breaking. The sight alone was breathtaking, the way you get to see your best friend in such a vulnerable state like this. It was addicting and you hated the way you were scared of that.

Madison catches her breath as her eyes stay shut, her body leaning back against the door, just like yours had been. Gently pulling your fingers out of her, you lick away the release that was still on them before getting up from your knees, wincing slightly from the soreness that had formed.

Here you were, in a public restroom, with your best friend, Madison.. naked. It was out of a dream.. a very hot, sweaty dream.

This couldn’t be real.

When you had stepped back into the main restaurant, you cleared your throat as you nervously fiddle with the ends of your hair. You had tried your best to maintain it when you were looking in the bathroom mirror, but it was obvious something had happened. Once you had fixed it as much as you could, you had started to make your way back.

Getting back to the table with your friends, you had quietly pulled your chair out and sat back down. The smell of the food had floated around the room, making your stomach growl, making you realize just how hungry you were. Swallowing dryly, you nervously bite at your lip before picking up your utensils.

Madison walks out of the restroom a few minutes later, following in your footsteps to the table. The previous flush in her cheeks has faded, leaving a dash of a light pink hue to her cheeks. She had maintained her hair, despite your previous grasp in it, by brushing her fingers through the soft strands.

Taking her seat beside you, she gives a polite smile to the person beside her. “Oh, food’s here!” Madison smiles, mimicking everyone’s actions as she reaches for the utensils that were hidden in the large napkin beside her plate. She acts as if she hadn’t just gotten you off twice in the bathroom just moments ago.

Looking to your left, you meet Matt’s gaze. His blue eyes widen slightly when your eyes lock, not expecting you to look over at him.

Matt had immediately noticed how long you and Madison were in the bathroom together. Despite everyone else not paying attention to the two of you, he always had his eye on you. But when you came back out, discreetly fixing the bottom of your skirt and smoothing down your hair, Matt knew. All of your friends were too busy conversing with each other to realize what you and your friend had been doing with each other. He hated the way his stomach twisted with jealousy, almost losing his appetite at the thought of you being with Madison and not him. Envy was such an ugly emotion and Matt utterly despised the way it made him feel.. but he couldn’t do anything about it. He couldn’t stop the way the emotion ate him alive as he watched you two come back and sit by each other again.

By the time the night had gotten later and everyone had finished their food, people started to disperse. The bill was paid and everyone was saying their goodbyes, some throwing on their jackets and others not having one. You still needed Madison to drive you home.

If you were honest, you couldn’t read her feelings. You knew that what you both did together was going to make things awkward, but Madison played it off like it was the most normal interaction between you two. You wished you understood her thought process; what was going through her head at any moment, but you didn’t. You didn’t know what she was thinking and it terrified you.

Matt’s been acting strange all night. He never went out of his way to talk to you, only giving you one worded replies or hums in response to your words whenever you tried to speak to him. You weren’t sure what you did, you tried to recall anything you might’ve said that could’ve upset him, but nothing came to mind. Unless he figured out what you and Madison had done.. fuck, you hope not. You were more than confused with your feelings. You knew you liked Madison, obviously.. you admitted to yourself that you’re in love with her when you were in the bathroom. But you also liked Matt.. you have since you met him, since he always treated you with kindness and how you always felt like yourself when you were around him.

What were you gonna do?

After bidding your goodbyes to your friends, your eyes linger on Matt as you start to make your way out of the restaurant. He gave you a hug, like he usually does, but it was stiff and short - as if he was only doing it because he felt like he had to. Was he mad at you?

Sighing as you shut the passenger side door, you close your eyes as you lean back against the seat. You were looking forward to lying in bed and drifting to sleep. In the back of your mind, you knew that wasn’t necessarily gonna be the case - too caught up in your thoughts - but you can hope.

Madison joins you, turning on her car as she buckles herself in. Glancing over at you, she chuckles quietly. “You tired?” She hums, putting her car in reverse before slowly backing out of the parking spot. With a nod and a hum of approval, you let your eyes open as you look over at her. Even just driving, she looked utterly stunning - her side profile sculpted by some sort of higher being. You were always shocked by how someone could look so beautiful, doing absolutely whatever. Some times it upset you, knowing that this ‘crush’ wasn’t going anywhere and that you’d be stuck mourning a relationship you’ve never had with Madison. You hated that your mind didn’t even allow you to think about confessing your true feelings for her. And, despite everything that had happened today, you still felt terrified to even bring the topic up to her. Did she even like you the way you like her? Was she just horny and needed something to get her off? No, that couldn’t be it - she claimed that it was about you, not her. But still.. what if it was a one time thing? You hope not.

Fixing your gaze out your window, the radio fills the silence in the car. By now, the sun was setting, casting a pretty glow on the scenery passing by. Your window was cracked open slightly, letting the cool breeze flow through the car and clear your mind. The fresh air felt nice, a wave of serenity washing over you.

It took even less time to get back to your house, the daytime traffic now dispersed as the night grows darker. As Madison parks along the side of the road, she looks over at you. Unbuckling your seatbelt, your eyes meet.

If you were honest, you were more than scared to ask about what happened between you two. Are you supposed to just act like nothing happened? Was it worth it only for your friendship to be altered in response? You don’t know what you’d do if you lost Madison. The thought alone made your heart beat faster. You can’t help but wonder what she’s thinking.

Shrugging off your inner turmoil, you send Madison a small smile. “Thanks, Mads.” You say, referring to the ride to and from. She hums, nodding. “Goodnight.” You open the door, but before you could get out, Madison’s hand reaches forward to grasp your chin gently between her fingers. Your eyes widen slightly as you look over at her, surprised by the sudden action.

Leaning forward, her hazel eyes travel from your lips to your eyes. Just centimeters away from your lips, Madison gives you the time to back out. When you stay put, she doesn’t wait to press her lips to yours. It was soft and sweet, as if she was trying to tell you something through it, instead of verbally doing so. You wished you could read the sign, but it just didn’t click in your head. Did she just want you for benefits?

Slowly pulling away, Madison keeps her lips close to yours. Your eyes flutter open as you look at her, eyes locking. “Night, Y/N.” She whispers, taking away her hand. The loss of contact left you with a chill, silently disappointed at her decision to end the kiss between you two.

Swallowing dryly, you nod. Sending her a small, polite smile, you jump out of her car. Shutting it, you wave as you walk to your front door. Madison stays put until you unlock your door and step inside, turning her car back on and driving away as she watches you close it.

Sighing as you remove your shoes, you decide a shower would be best to try and clear your mind. Stripping off your layers, you step under the warm water, instantly relaxing your tense body. As you wash yourself off, the ache between your legs reappears as if mocking you for what you had done. You were still sensitive from Madison’s actions, physically and mentally.

You just didn’t understand. Did she just want a quick fuck, so she took her best friend because of how close you two are? No, even you don’t believe that. Madison wasn’t the type to play with people’s feelings; let alone yours… at least, that’s what you thought. Every part of you hated how much you were dwelling on this, but how could you not? One of your best friends had made you cum twice in a public bathroom at a restaurant the rest of your friends were hanging out at. Where Matt was hanging out at..

Shutting off the water stream, you dry yourself off and change into some comfy clothes. After brushing your teeth, you let yourself relax into your bed. The mattress held you gently, allowing you to soak into the soft material. Your eyes watch the screen of your laptop as it plays a youtube video, eyelids growing heavy with sleep as minutes pass by.

Before exhaustion takes over, your eyes pop open when you feel your phone vibrate on the bed. Looking over at it, you pick it up to see what the notification was.

From: Matt 🤍

hey sorry to bother

i was wondering if u wanted to come over tm?

Your eyebrows furrow slightly at the text. He wanted to see you again tomorrow? Not that you’re upset about it, you love Matt, but usually he’ll take a few days after going to such a huge event.

Tapping your fingers along your screen, you reply with a simple, “yeah ofc!” Sending it, you await a reply, only to get a thumbs up on your message. It elicits a quiet laugh from you, used to his dry way of texting.

Leaving it at that, you shut your phone off as you try your best to let sleep overcome you. Your mind was at an all time high, shooting any and every possibility about what went down with Madison today to what was going to happen tomorrow with Matt. Finally, when your brain decided to give you a break, you slowly drift off into a dreamless sleep.

Tomorrow was just around the corner.

-

By the time it was ready to go over to Matt’s house - or, rather, the triplets’ - you could feel your nerves growing.

It wasn’t often enough that you went over to their house compared to Madison’s. Usually, if all of you were together, it was an unspoken agreement that it’d be held at Madison’s house. But it was also more frequent that you hung out with her in general.

Despite that, you always admired their house. It was spacious and you liked the layout of it all, especially the way Matt styles his room. You enjoyed the cozy feeling to it, his decorations and matching colors setting the mood to a relaxing feeling whenever you step inside. But that may also just be Matt.

Matt had told you over the phone to just come inside, having already informed Chris and Nick of your arrival. You were beyond comfortable with the three of them. It was like their presence alone calmed you down, leaving you in a state of happiness and peace. Call it cliché, but you loved the way they made you feel. But with Matt.. it was different.

Matt has always stood out to you. You weren’t too sure why; maybe it was his style, or the scattered tattoos along his left arm, or the way he presents himself.. but he was just Matt. The boy that had greedily stole your heart when you had met him. A part of you thought it was unfair the way he had so easily captivated you, selfishly stealing your attention whenever he was in the same room as you. But the other part loved it - loved the way he looked and acted around you, the way he was always himself with you. It made something inside you flutter.

Calling a quick greeting to Chris, who was sitting at the dining room table on his phone as he snacked on a piece of candy, he reciprocates it with a sweet smile. You make your way to Matt’s closed door, giving it a few knocks before turning the knob and opening it. Laying on his bed, Matt scrolls through his phone before averting his gaze up to his door. Shutting it off, he tosses it beside him as he notices you.

“Hey.” He hums, getting up from the soft mattress. You return it, gently shutting the door behind you. Matt comes up by you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. Leaning into him, yours snake around his middle, resting comfortably in his warm embrace. Whenever you two got together, this was how you greeted each other. It was sweet and innocently intimate. Besides, you loved the way you could hear his heart beat pick up just slightly whenever your ear would press against his chest.

“Why’d you want me over?” You can’t help but ask, moving to make your way on to his bed. Matt shrugs as he joins you, lying on his side as he takes you in.

“Just wanted to see you.” He replies, vague enough to keep you guessing, but also a polite enough answer to give your stomach butterflies. It was always so easy with Matt, in every sense of the word. The way he always managed to make you flustered was embarrassing, and you knew Matt took pride in it every time.

“You saw me yesterday.” You tease, chuckling. Your lips curled up, a smile present on your face. You couldn’t recall one time that you had felt sad in the presence of Matt, let alone because of him. When you were with him, it was like a new side of you shows, one where only laughs sound from your mouth and a constant look of joy is evident in your expression.

Matt rolls his eyes at your words, letting out a light scoff. “Yeah, I did.” He says. “Doesn’t mean I don’t wanna see you today.” Matt cocks his head to the side, lips curling up as he watches your bashful reaction. He’s always had trouble dealing with his emotions, let alone the ones he has for you. But sometimes, letting his lips move before he registers his words helps. Sometimes.

Unlike now, when he mindlessly blurts out his thoughts without thinking. “You and Madison took awhile in the bathroom yesterday.” Matt clenches his jaw once the words fall off his tongue, cheeks heating up slightly. He swallows heavily before averting his blue eyes to yours, gauging your reaction.

Your breathing stutters slightly, eyes snapping over to him. Your mind goes blank as you try to think of an excuse, though you were sure Matt had already figured out what happened. Was he waiting for you? Why was he conscious about how long you had been gone for?

“I.. we - ” You stammer, heart beat starting to pick up nervously. Matt notices your anxious response, giving him the answer he was suspecting. He was right.

“What’d she do to you?” Matt taunts, slowly moving from his laying position. You sit frozen on his bed, confused. Matt was never this blunt - how was he so casually asking you this stuff? Besides, why does he want to know?

“Um.. it - Matt,” you shake your head, trying to clear your racing thoughts. Matt hums, now standing at the foot of the bed. Your legs are stretched out, feet nearing the end of the mattress, by Matt’s thighs. Matt’s never been one to ask about your previous relationships, or anything romantic to be frank. It upset you in a way, always leading you to believe he wanted nothing to do with you in that way, that he couldn’t even think of you like that. But that wasn’t true. Matt never did because he couldn’t bear the thought of you being with someone else.. someone that wasn’t him.

“Can I touch you?” Matt murmurs, his fingers ghosting over your shins. The question elicited a shiver from you, a nod quickly following. He hums in approval, softly resting his large palms on your legs. Was this wrong? Your best friend had just fucked you yesterday, now you’re letting your other best friend touch you. Should you not be okay with this? How could you be, when you’ve been waiting for this for so long. How could you not be greedy?

“Please touch me.” You whisper out. Goosebumps erupt on your skin from the contact of his rough palms against your legs. Matt’s lips curl up at your plead, squeezing the skin of your thighs. The action makes you inhale, your heart seeming to beat out of your chest. Was this really happening? How can you let them just.. use you like this? Something inside you tried to brush that thought off.. you hated the way you didn’t care.

“I am, sweetheart.” Matt mocks smoothly, hands still gliding along your skin. His eyes watch your every movement, caught on the way you react to him. He would’ve never thought he’d get to see you like this; sprawled out, needing him. Fuck, he loved it - you just look so beautiful.

Leaning down, Matt starts to press soft, ghost-like kisses against the front of your leg. The feeling made you let out a shaky breath, your eyes on his white ceiling. “Look at me, pretty girl.” Pretty girl. Madison called you that last night, she claimed you were her pretty girl.

Blinking out of your daze, you lean up on your elbows, looking down at him. The way his face looked between your legs was hypnotizing, something you’d beg to see more often. His blue eyes pierce yours as he looks up at you, lust swirling through his irises. It was pathetic the way you immediately obeyed him, no matter the circumstances. But right now, as Matt kisses up your thigh, you couldn’t care about anything else, even if you tried.

Letting yourself fall back on the mattress again, Matt guides his kisses upwards. Moving from your thigh, to your covered waist, to your stomach, between your breasts and all the way up to your neck. Despite the clothing hiding your body, Matt’s lips didn’t stop. Once he reached the bare skin of your neck, he wasted no time on kissing it, leaving hot, wet reminders that he was there. His hands had traveled up to your waist, gently moving along your body.

Your arms had subconsciously made their way around his shoulders, one of your hands brushing through his soft hair. Eyes flutter closed as you relax into his bed, just the feeling of his lips against your skin making you feel hot. Your legs were spread, welcoming his body between them.

“Kiss me.” You whisper without thinking. Matt’s kisses stop, a smirk replacing his features. He leans his head up, licking his lips as he looks down at you. Reaching one of his hands up, he caresses his fingers along your cheek. Gliding his hand over, his thumb moves along your bottom lip, bringing it down.

Moving closer, his lips teasingly hover over yours. You try to lift your head up to meet him, but a low chuckle leaves Matt’s lips as he backs away. A whine escapes you before you could stop it. “Aw, poor girl.” Matt coos mockingly, looking down at you. His condescending tone heats up your body, embarrassment flowing through you. “Just want a kiss, hm?” He hums, smiling as he watched you nod. Matt rests his forehead against yours, his breath hitting against yours lips.

Matt swallows your gasp as he presses his lips to yours. His lips were soft, as if he had put chapstick on before you came over. Breathing through your nose, your mind gets used to the way he feels against you. His lips weren’t as full as Madison’s, but they felt just as nice. A part of you grew scared as you realized how attached you were already becoming to his taste.

Matt’s hands glide up your hips, just barely trailing under your shirt. “Can I take this off?” He asks breathlessly, a soft sound eliciting from your lips as he pulls away slightly. Your mind had immediately drifted back to Madison’s words the night before, how she had asked the same exact thing when she was tugging at your shirt. Fuck, stop thinking about it.

Nodding fervently, you swallow harshly as you look up at him. Cold palms slide up your body, bringing the fabric with. Lifting your arms to help him, Matt guides your shirt off of you and tosses it, not caring for where it goes. He lets out an exhale at the sight of your bare chest, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. His sizable palms travel along your body, starting from your jawline, to the skin that connects your neck to your shoulders. His left hand stops as his eyes notice a mark.

Trailing his index finger over the bruise, the subtle indent of teeth previously being there immediately catching his attention. Licking over his teeth, Matt feels the familiar pit of envy wash over him. He wanted to be the one to mark you, to let everyone know that you’re his.. even though you weren’t.

Moving down, Matt leans back to your skin, laying kisses on the opposite side of the hickey Madison had left yesterday. Unable to stop himself, he bares his teeth as he bites down, smiling as you let out a whimper. Your hand rests on the back of his head, encouraging his possessive acts on your skin. The way his tongue felt against your skin sent heat straight to your core, wondering what it felt like against where you really need it.

Kissing along your skin, his lips reach your breasts as they tease the sensitive area. Flicking his tongue out, Matt licks a strip along your nipple, making your hand tighten in his hair as you gasp. Subconsciously, your back arches into his touch, a chuckle leaving Matt’s occupied mouth. With your reaction in mind, his pink lips wrap around your nipple, lathering the skin with his warm tongue. His hand reaches up to grope at your other boob, adding to the pressure you were already feeling. Sucking on the tissue, Matt lightly grazes his teeth against it as you whine out at the action.

Pulling off with a pop, Matt pecks your nipple. “Such a noisy girl.” He hums, switching positions and moving his opposite hand to your now wet breast and his mouth to the other one. Repeating his actions, he makes sure they get equal attention. Pulling slightly on it, the foreign feeling elicits a whine of Matt’s name from you. Sucking on it one more time, he presses a soft kiss to it, contradictory to his actions just seconds ago.

Trailing down your body, marks are scattered as Matt finally stops at your waistband. Hands smoothly slide along you, landing on the fabric as he slowly pulls it down, leaving you in just your panties. His teeth graze the edge of the lacy fabric, resulting in your breath hitching as you watch his every movement. The sight was erotic, the way the man looked between your thighs, ready to devour you. Spreading your thighs a little more, Matt fits perfectly between them. Your hands move down, sliding along his shoulders, wanting - needing - him to strip off his shirt. You were almost bare in front of him and Matt still had all of his clothes on - you needed some sort of distraction.

He chuckles, but doesn’t protest. It seems like he was too caught up in wanting to see you entirely naked to deny your silent request. Reaching his arms back, he tosses off his shirt, immediately positioning himself back where he belongs: between your legs. He looks up at you, locking eyes, as he bites down on the waist of your panties, slowly bringing them down your legs. The view made you even wetter than you already were, your heart pounding against your chest. Biting at your bottom lip, you watch with eager eyes as he throws the dainty fabric away. Wrapping his arms around your thighs, he leans down as he presses soft, teasing kisses along your inner thighs.

“Matt, please.” You whimper, impatience growing as torturous seconds pass by. Nipping at your skin, Matt’s eyes darken as he looks up at you. Chipped nails dig into the plush skin of your thighs, as if punishment for your words.

“Be patient.” Matt snaps, immediately shutting you up. The way he takes control of the situation made your body feel hot, needy for more of it. You’d never admit it, but you always thought that Matt was one to let someone else call the shots, or at least, not one to be so.. blunt about his orders. Maybe this was the only time he got to be in full control of something; it was always an argument when it came to Nick and Chris trying to figure out who was the ‘leader’, so maybe he liked having the authority. Either way, it turned you on immensely.

Letting out a quiet whine, you don’t say anything else as you let Matt take his time. As if savoring having you like this, he maps out your skin as he kisses it, saving it to memory. Inhaling your scent, he suddenly leans forward and presses a kiss to your clit. The action made your thighs tense as a surprised gasp leaves your lips. Matt hums before greedily diving back in, licking a wide strip along your pussy. Lapping up your wetness, Matt basks in the flavor as he tastes you.

His tongue doesn’t take a break as it eagerly flickers at your clit, before enveloping it in his mouth. Your hand flies to his hair as you pull, your eyes shutting tightly as your lips part, letting out heavy pants. How he knew how to use his mouth so well was beyond you. It was as if he knew everything you liked, hitting every spot that drove you fucking crazy. You loved the way he made you feel, hungrily licking at you. But you hated it all the same, hated the way you knew you were going to crave it more than you should.

Traveling down, Matt’s tongue prods at your entrance as he looks up at you. His blue eyes are darkened, the once lively irises now dim with lust. The eye contact he keeps with you only adds to your overwhelming arousal, needing him to do something about it. As if reading your mind, Matt pushes forward, his tongue invading your hole as your hand harshly tugs at his hair, a few involuntary sounds escaping your throat.

Jostling the warm muscle around, Matt savors your taste. It wasn’t like anything he’s tasted before, but he needed more of it. He couldn’t get enough of the way you melt on his tongue, all for his taking.

Pulling away slightly, he ignores your whimper as he sloppily kisses along your drenched clit. “You let her do this, too?” Matt mocks, mouth always attached to you, despite his lips moving. His words shock you, your body freezing at his condescending tone. He chuckles breathlessly at your reaction, licking another fat stripe along your center. “Answer me.” He spits, slapping his hand against your thigh.

“Yes! Y - Yes, I did.” You stammer a reply, squeezing your eyes shut as your body warms with humiliation. He was doing this on purpose, you knew that. And despite the embarrassment, you were feeling, the same sensation of arousal coats your pussy as Matt purposely teases you.

“Mhm.. ‘course you did.” Matt taunts, looking up at you as he reconnects his lips with your clit. Pulling on it, you cry out as your hand desperately tugs at his soft strands. He groans against you, the harsh pressure making the ache in his pants amplify. “Havin’ your two friends use you like some fuckin’ slut.” Matt degrades, leaning forward to spit on your pussy, adding more lubricant - as if it needed it. His words make you whine, a sense of shame engulfing you. His constant assault on your pussy distracts you from the feeling, the way his tongue moves against you bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

“You gonna cum f’me, sweetheart?” Matt hums, letting your thighs squish his head between them. If anything, he seemed to enjoy it. You nod quickly, moans leaving your lips as incoherent sounds try to answer him - though, there’s no use. “Mm.. beg for it.” He demands, harshly sucking on your clit as he suddenly thrusts a finger inside you. The intrusion makes you gasp as your thighs tremble, your free hand desperately grasping at the sheets underneath you.

“Please, Matt! Need it, need to c.. cum for you!” You plead pathetically, back arching off of the bed as he adds another digit inside you. Thrusting them at a fast pace, he curls them, somehow hitting that perfect spot inside you to elicit a sharp cry from you.

Matt pops off of your clit, just to give you the go ahead. “Cum, Y/N. Make a mess.” He provokes, enveloping your clit again as he quickly picks up the pace of both his tongue and fingers. At the added stimulation, your thighs shake as a loud moan escapes you, whining out his name. Matt helps ride out your euphoria, eagerly lapping at your release. Slowly pulling his fingers from you, Matt presses one more kiss to your sensitive clit before sitting up.

He towers over your limp frame, bringing his fingers up to lick off the residue of you off of him. He hums at the flavor he’s grown accustomed to. Hooking his hands in his sweatpants, he lets them drop as he kicks them away. Joining you back on the bed, blue eyes watch the way your bare chest heaves as your eyes fluttered back open from the movement on the mattress. “You still with me, baby?” Matt asks lowly, gently gliding his fingers along your legs, up to your waist.

Nodding, you try to regain your breath. “Mhm,” you hum, licking your dry lips as you look up at him. Your eyes can’t help but wander down his body, landing on the bulge in his tight red boxers. Biting your lip, your hand has a mind of its own as it drifts down, cupping the area. Matt grunts, lips parting as you rub your palm along him. You could feel the way he throbs with need, a small wet patch on the fabric from pre-cum that has seeped out.

“Shit, Y/N,” Matt hisses, moving to grip your wrist. “Need to fuck you, now.” He mumbles, leaning down as he roughly connects his lips to yours. Tongues mesh in a messy kiss as Matt tosses away his constricting boxers, wincing slightly at the way the cool air hits his hot, needy tip. His hand moves down as he grips himself, teasingly rubbing his tip along your wetness. The feeling makes you pull away from his lips, gasping at the sensation against your sensitive skin. Matt lets out a breathy groan as he swirls his head against your clit before finally moving down to your entrance.

Pushing forward, Matt slowly thrusts inside you. Wincing at the feeling, you hadn’t comprehended his size. “Aw, ‘s’it too big?” He mocks, pouting. His words make you whimper, your nails digging into his bare back. “You’re fine, baby. Taking all of me so fuckin’ good.” Matt breathes out, chest rising and falling progressively faster. As he pushes in deeper, he finally seats himself inside you, letting out a heavy breath. You whine, clawing at his back as you adjust to his size.

After a few moments, you nod, letting Matt move his hips. He does immediately, pulling back as he licks his lips, eager to fuck you into the mattress. He’s been waiting for this for as long as he can remember, and now he finally has you like this: needy and ready for him, ready to take all of him. It was truly a sight to behold.

As he picks up a rhythm, Matt’s hips start to gain speed as he ruts into you. His hands pick up your thighs as he wraps them around his waist, only seeming to bring you closer to him. The angle hits you the perfect way, making your body move with every push of Matt’s hips against yours. Your breasts bounce as you jolt against the bed, pleasured sounds filling the room as you moan. The harsh noise of his skin slapping against yours echoes through Matt’s bedroom, giving anyone that passes by an obvious sign of what was going on inside.

“You let Madison fuck you, huh?” Matt pants, his pace becoming rougher as times goes by. He lets the jealousy take over as he fucks you, harsh slaps of his hips against your skin marking you. He couldn’t help the way his envy took over his actions, wishing he was the only one that got to fuck you; that he was the only one that got to see you like this. Heavy exhales leave him as his forearms rest beside your head, every sound he makes embedding into your ears. “Answer me or you don’t fucking cum.” Matt threats lowly.

At his peril words, you quickly nod in response to his question. “Y.. Yes, Matt.” You whimper, words almost incomprehensible as you pant. Your nails scratch along his back, eliciting a hiss from the man above you. Matt groans as he rams into you, your approval to his previous question only making him go faster.

“Yeah?” He pants breathlessly, pushing his hips against you faster. “She fuck you better than me?” Matt asks lowly, looking down at you with hooded eyes. His chest heaves as his actions don’t relent, the headboard of his bed starting to slam back against his white walls. Your words become unintelligible, unable to respond to his question. Besides, if you were honest, you wouldn’t be able to choose.

Matt scoffs, his hand resting on the top of your head as he moves. “Fucked you dumb, huh? Such a cockslut.” He spits, his harsh words only bringing you closer to another orgasm. Matt, himself, could feel his stomach start to tighten, his impending release starting to graze against him. “Shit! Can feel you squeezin’ me so fuckin’ tight, baby.” He moans, digging his head into your neck. Biting down on the blank canvas, he unintentionally marks you as his pleasure starts to reach its peak. The hand that was on your head rushes down, quickly circling your clit, trying to bring you closer to your orgasm before he hits his.

“Need you to cum, Y/N. Now, c’mon.” Matt grunts, his words hurried as his thrusts start to grow sloppy. The added pressure against you makes you cry out, your back arching against his chest as you feel the knot inside your stomach break, releasing over his cock. Matt’s hips don’t stop, riding out your pleasure, but also reaching his. He groans loudly by your ear before he shudders, his cum shooting out as he presses himself closer to you - if that was even possible. The warmth of both of your bodies mingle, your chests heaving as you go limp against his soft mattress.

Matt leisurely pulls out of you, cooing as you wince slightly from the feeling, your pussy oversensitive. Blue eyes watch the way his cum leaks out of you, groaning slightly from the sight. His mind subconsciously memorizes the image, knowing he was going to get off to it another time.

Falling down beside you, the two of you lay there, still trying to catch your breath. Looking up at the ceiling, your mind goes into a frenzy. How did this even happen? Was Matt jealous? How did you get fucked by your two best friends?

What is happening?

-

Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to have them both over.

Your mind has been eating you alive these past couple days, more confused than ever. You spent that time trying to comprehend everything that had happened between you and Madison, as well as Matt. There was no way they had planned it, right? No, Matt seemed upset about what you and Madison had done together.

To say it was awkward was an understatement.

You, Madison and Matt sat on your couch, silence engulfing you as minutes passed. How were you supposed to bring this up? Oh, Madison, by the way, Matt fucked me the day after you did. How do we go about this? Yeah, okay.

“Uh,” you clear your throat, fixing your position on the soft cushions. Your friends snap their attention over to you from the sudden sound. They were just as nervous. Matt had obviously knew about what happened between you and Madison, but Madison has yet to know what went down between you and Matt. Though, she was suspicious as to why he was invited over. When she got your text asking her to stop by, Madison had immediately assumed it was about what had happened the other night. But when she pulled into your driveway and saw Matt’s car, her curiosity was piqued.

“I wanted to, um.. talk to you both.” You mumble, nervously fiddling with your fingers. Madison nods as she watches you intently. “Mads, the other day, after we..” you trail off, glancing from Matt back to the girl. Madison pouts her lips as she stays silent, nodding at your words. “Uh, Matt and I - ”

“You fucked her?” Madison exclaims, looking over at Matt. The man’s eyes widen at her, leaning back.

“Wha - you did first!” Matt rebuttals. Madison huffs, knowing it was true.

Watching the interaction, you let out a sigh. You hated how blank your mind was right now. All of the hundreds of questions you’ve had these past few days have suddenly disappeared, unable to part your lips and just ask.

“We’re gonna go talk really quick, okay?” Madison’s voice breaks you out of your daze. Looking over at her, you nod. She reciprocates it, pressing a sweet kiss to your head before walking over to the hallway as Matt follows behind her.

As they converse, you let out a breath as you lean back against your couch. Shutting your eyes, you try to calm your racing heart as you wait for them to come back. What if they leave you? This situation was so odd, what if they get too freaked out and decide to not talk to you anymore? Wiping your hand over your face, you try to stop your constant negative thoughts. It was just so hard to not be worried.

Once you hear footsteps start to make their way back into the living room, you instantly sit up and look over in that direction. Madison walks out first as Matt trails behind. Standing in front of you, Madison bites her bottom lip before glancing at Matt. “Say it.” She whispers.

Matt jumps slightly, sighing quietly. “Um.. we..” he trails off, the words he’s trying to find all a sudden nonexistent.

Madison cocks her head as she looks over at you. Licking her lips, she lets out a breath.

“We decided to share you.”

[chuluoyi]

heartbreak hotel

- gojo satoru x reader

so you're going on a three-day-two-night getaway trip with the one and only Gojo Satoru. the catch? you two have just broken up.

genre/warnings: crack, jealousy, a dose of pettiness, hurt/comfort, fluff, zero angst i promise, suguru being a good buddy to his boyfriend best friend

notes: inspired by a very real life story :))) anyways, it takes place in an au where suguru never left and all is well with our little meow meow catoru the wonderful colored manga panel by the talented @redbluenight! this was so much fun to write (that it turned into a whopping 3k+ word, so sorry) and i even made a playlist while on it ;)

general masterlist

"He's intolerable!"

There were many things that led to the end of your relationship with Gojo Satoru, but if asked one word to sum it, then that was it.

When you started this thing with him, obviously you had never planned on how it would end―who started a relationship with that sort of mindset anyway? But if you could choose, you definitely wouldn't want it to end with dramatic shouting match that left you in tears.

Anyways, some things were just not meant to be. You refused to spend your whole life crying over that smug bastard, and so you moved on.

However, if there's one thing you've learned about plans, it is that whenever you already make a foolproof one, the world always has some funny way to mess it up.

Like this time.

"I... I remembered saving for months," you stammered dumbly, staring blankly at Shoko in front of you. The realization felt like a spiritual ascent. "I paid for that damn plane ticket and hotel with my whole saving. I can't just throw them away."

How could you possibly forget about this? This graduation trip that had been planned between your group of Satoru, Suguru, Shoko and yourself for months now. It was meant to be a getaway, a celebration of your most significant achievement after four years of barely getting by on exorcising curses and not dying in the process. This was supposed to be the ultimate milestone celebration in your life.

"Then don't," Shoko replied simply, twisting the cigarette in her mouth. "I'm still going though. No way I'm wasting that money."

"But!" you vehemently hissed. "He will be there. It means I have to see him for three days straight!"

Your cringeworthy breakup happened just barely a week ago. You had sworn in front of Gojo Satoru that you didn't want to see his face again, and yet in less than a week from now, you and him would literally share the same space―again?

"Can't I get a refund?"

"This late? Nah, it's like yay or nay at this point."

You slumped in frustration. Were the gods making you swallow your own words now? You were left with no other choice. Your frugality and tendency to get broke often compelled you to make the decision.

You were going on this trip whether he was there or not.

Meanwhile, on his end, the said smug bastard was brooding, groaning and pacing over the same predicament. Satoru had two options and had weighed them all, and somehow he still arrived at the more seemingly no-good decision.

"I'm going, duh!"

"You are?" Suguru asked with a hint of surprise in his voice. "Well, might be the first time I've seen someone agree to go on an overnight trip with his ex..."

"Hmph. I just don't like squandering money."

Suguru snorted, unimpressed. “Satoru, you have an entire fortune. The airfare is just an amount you'd donate to charity. Besides, you have wasted more than that.”

“Well, I want to enjoy my youth too! I’m going—who cares if she’ll be there!”

He was still miffed, recalling the day your argument spiraling out of control. How could you say those hurtful things to him?

“You never take things seriously—heck, I’m not even sure if you’re ever taking me seriously at all! Satoru, you’re always acting all high and mighty, but you’re just a selfish little twat!”

No way. The last time, he was left in the dust, not being able to say anything in his defense. So now, he would use this chance to be the one who had the last laugh. He was going, because he was 70% sure that you wouldn’t let your hard-earned money go to waste.

And he was right when two days later, he found you at the airport with a bitter scoff upon seeing him.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he moistened his lower lip in that obnoxious way. “Missed me?”

You walked past him, tone lacing with disdain. “Get lost, Gojo.”

He couldn’t help the prickling sensation in his chest when you dismissed him just like that. And the use of his last name—whereas you used to call him with all sort of available pet names? Now that was just low.

“Nah, you can’t get away from me that easily, Y/N,” Satoru sniggered. “You’re going to see me for the next three days, so suck it up and enjoy the sight,” and then the idiot proceeded to pump his fist in the air. “Wooo! Kyushu, here I go!”

Suguru and Shoko merely observed your icy interactions in silence, occasionally exchanging glances from time to time.

ITINERARY ::: DAY 1 — BEACH DAY @ SEASIDE HOTEL

After the three-hour flight, the four of you arrived at Karatsu, one of the main highlights in your trip—or back then, one you and Satoru handpicked yourselves.

You swore you still had your heart frozen for him, so you didn’t know what stirred it when you saw him giggling and doubling over in carefree delight, surrounded by those beach girls in skimpy bikinis.

“Hey, handsome~ is this even okay?” one of the girls in pink thong scooted closer to him, asking him with this cheap seductive grin. “Won’t your girlfriend be mad?”

At that moment, you could’ve sworn Satoru threw you a glance from the corner of his eye before replying with a triumphant bark. “What girlfriend? I’m wholly and happily single!”

The hell?

A rush of squeals grated your nerves as they swarmed your ex-boyfriend, prompting you to stalk away in irritation.

Absolutely not. You wouldn’t let this fine establishment be your heartbreak hotel any longer.

Gojo Satoru knew fully that he was petty. He let you see that on purpose just to rile you up, because frankly, he still felt like he didn’t deserve your messy breakup at all.

But when you were no longer in his eyesight, suddenly the urge to entertain these strangers dissipated, and what remained was this hollow sensation in his chest. You not paying him attention somehow made him crave it all the more.

He recalled how you pointed out that playing in the clear waters would be your ideal graduation gift. He specifically recommended this place himself and you had agreed. He remembered planning all of this, dragging Suguru and Shoko too just to make it merrier. To keep that cute smile on your face.

You were supposed to fool around with him in the clear waters of Matsubara Beach, splashing and pulling him underwater.

And yet in reality, he was toying with these questionable women and in your eyes, he was nothing but an irritable twat.

He didn’t see you again until evening, during dinner time. And the sight before him made him want to pull Suguru to the side and trap him inside his unlimited void.

"Really?" Your clear voice rang in his ears, every bit the same as when you would energetically question him with those doe eyes of yours, as you peered at Suguru. "We should go together tomorrow then!"

His eyes twitched.

What has his life come to? Reduced into seeing his ex-girlfriend possibly going on a date with his best friend?

He almost hoped that you'd stage up your pettiness level. It was worse because unlike him, you didn't make this up just to gauge his reaction.

That night, in their shared hotel room, he ignored Suguru completely, as well as silently waiting for him to divulge where he and you were going tomorrow.

"Hey Satoru—"

"Shut up, I'm trying to sleep."

It was obviously a wrong move, because Suguru apparently caught the hint and stayed quiet as a mouse throughout the night.

ITINERARY ::: DAY 2 — HOT SPRING @ KUMAMOTO

Or at least, last he remembered, that was the agenda.

Until he saw that only Shoko who was there, idling around at the hot spring area.

"Where are the others? Why is it only you here?"

She shrugged. "Geto said he's going to try the local specialties. Dunno where. As for me, I'm going to enjoy this onsen to the fullest."

Shoko noticed his irritated scowl, and a sly grin crept across her face.

"Heh, jealous much now, Gojo?"

Meanwhile, you and Suguru went to various dessert shops in town as per his invitation. Perhaps he took pity on you because you really seemed not to be having any fun at all after you stormed off from the beach area yesterday.

"Mmm! This is tasty!" you remarked, munching away the three-colored dango happily. You were so engrossed in eating today that you no longer had any room to think about anything else, which was a good thing.

Suguru smiled. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself now." However, he appeared to have something on his mind, prompting you to hum and tilt your head in curiosity.

"No, it's just... so it's really over between you and Satoru?"

You let out a snort. "Yeah. Totally. He's an ass."

"He really is miserable, you know..."

"Nah, he doesn't look like it."

Your friend sighed. "Honestly, what was the argument even about? Both of you usually didn't take it this far."

You didn't want to go back to that topic, really. But Suguru was always the one with cooler head, and after his kindness today, maybe you could spare him a detail or two.

"It's a lot of little things that have piled up, you know," you mumbled. "It's probably just how he is, and I know. But I finally reached my boiling point. Why can't he try to see things from my perspective? Everything that's important to me doesn't seem to matter to him, and relationships need two people, not just one who resigns and the other who does anything he pleases."

And until now, you doubted if Satoru even realized what he did wrong. That was what hurt you the most. Like you were so small in his eyes, like he could toy with you and get away with it.

As you expected, Suguru would understand your point. "So that's how you feel... Yeah, I think I get it."

You thought he would end it at that, but then he went on. "I'm not defending him, Y/N. I think some time away from you would do him good, but later, maybe you can talk this to him? See if he will understand?"

"I already did, so many times." You narrowed your eyes at him. "Not to offend you, but it awfully seems like you're defending him, Suguru, despite you saying otherwise."

"I'm saying this because sometimes we can forget that Satoru is different," he explained sympathetically, and to be honest, you were surprised by his statement. "He is born exalted. He has a hard time comprehending things that come to us naturally. I just think it's a pity if... you can actually fix this, but just because bad communication, you lose the chance to."

Have you properly communicated this to him? Now that you thought about it, most of the times you would just get mad and point at the little things he missed, but never actually told him how it made you feel.

Your mind was still muddled with the fact Suguru had shed light on even after you got back to ryokan where you were staying for the night. The two of you were in for a surprise though as apparently there was a festival happening there.

Everything seemed to spark with glitters. The bamboo lanterns, lights, the gentle breeze. It created an undeniably romantic ambiance, to be honest.

You didn't know when Suguru slipped away, but suddenly, you found yourself alone amidst the visitors and dim lights.

And you found yourself to be immensely lonely.

Satoru spotted you in all your solitary glory amidst the sea of people in this godforsaken place.

No, actually it was a pretty great inn and attraction, but this trip had been horrible so far, and so he just felt everything was bad.

But at that moment, bitterness no longer clouded his mind, because you were so beautiful, bathed in the glow of the lights that Shoko had forcibly dragged him to see. If it were up to him, he'd spend the last night sleeping his heartbreak away, but now that he was here, he was thankful to see the dazzling sight of you that reminded him once again just what made him hopelessly in love with you.

And why he didn't get his sorry ass back into your good graces faster.

He retraced everything had brought both of you to this point. Your last fight was about what again? Him not telling you any news when he would be back from a mission?

No matter how he thought about it, it was a trivial matter. So what made you mad? He kept thinking, and then he imagined switching places with you. What if you didn't text him at all for three days straight? How would he feel? Oh, he would be despondent, of course.

Now he was starting to understand. He had done that so many times he could no longer keep count. Granted, you would be angry.

Satoru suddenly know how to rectify this. He can make things right. He would be damned if he didn't. He just had to pull you aside, and he was going to when he lost sight you in the crowd.

Okay, now he was frantic, as the longer he didn't see you, the more his opportunity to make amends slipped away. He moved through the crowd, pushing people in the process, earning ire and questionable glares and yet he cared none for it.

He nearly cursed at how his phone kept vibrating incessantly inside his pocket. Begrudgingly, he took it out and almost gasped.

You are calling him.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

It was so incredibly stupid. You just went to pee for a bit and then somehow got yourself locked in the toilet. It might have been fine, but then the lights unexpectedly went out, scaring the shit out of you.

How could such a upscale inn experience a sudden power outage and have doors that wouldn't budge? It was worse when no matter how many times you punched the switch or banged the door, it refused to turn on or open.

You were trapped. Honestly, it took everything you had not to cry.

And so you did the next best thing aside from forcing your way out. You called your friends. First, Shoko, and then Suguru, but both of them somehow didn't pick up the call even after you had called them three times each.

That left you with one possible person left. In your frenzied mind, it didn't even register in your mind what you were doing as the line connected and the last person you'd call on the other side answered.

"Satoru," you shakily breathed out, almost crying—or were you already? You didn't know as you focused on his sharp intake of breath, most likely surprised at how rattled you sound.

"Y/N? What? What is it?"

"I—" you wheezed, hating how helpless you sounded, yet still forced the words out. "I'm locked, it's dark—and it's just so—help! Help me please! I tried getting Shoko but she didn't—"

"Okay, sweetheart, calm down. Calm down, okay?" Satoru's voice brought you some comfort and it helped to reduce your tears, missing how he slipped up by calling you with his usual pet name for you. "Tell me. Where are you?"

"The women's restroom… I think it’s in the east wing."

"I'm coming, okay? Don't panic. I'll be there. Just stay on the line."

You heard his ragged breaths as he muttered several "coming through!" and "excuse me!" from where he was. It made your heart lurch. Despite the spiteful breakup, he rushed to your aid as soon as he realized you were in some kind of trouble.

Was this okay, to let your relationship end just like that?

"I'm outside." And then you heard his voice, much to your relief. "Y/N? Are you there?"

"Yes!" you shouted over the steel door.

You then heard how he rummaged to get the door open, and faintly hear him cursing it. "It won't open."

You wanted to sob, but then Satoru told you with an absolute tone, sounding so sure and demanding that compelled you to comply. "Get away from the door. As far as possible. Take cover."

Oh God, was he going to do what you thought he might do?

...he did. The next thing you knew, the door—and much more than that—was destroyed, and a rush of cursed energy was everywhere. After the blast subsided, you instinctively made a run for it, and you didn't know how, but you ended up stumbling into him.

Satoru caught you in his firm embrace.

"It's okay. You're okay," he cooed, whispering in your ear gently, urging your shivering body to calm down. "You're safe now, Y/N... I'm here. You're safe."

There was always something about your trembling form that made him want to tear down everything and anything in his path just to make you feel secure. And there was always this sense of rightness whenever you snuggled in his arms. Both desires clashed in a contrasting need and want and Satoru could do nothing but keep you close to him, torn between the two.

He kept his hand on your spine, and you clung on him, burying your face in his broad, sturdy chest.

Nevermind the fact that you technically broke up with him. Nevermind that ever since this botched trip started, it was the first occasion in which the two of you held a proper conversation without spewing bravado or sarcasm.

Afterwards, he led you away from the site, and he figured it would be best to go somewhere quieter rather than the festival, and so here you were, at the deserted lounge.

You had calmed down for the most part, and slowly you felt heat in your cheeks. In hindsight, you could've tried using cursed energy to blast the door too, why didn't you think of that earlier?

And yet, unaware of your internal musings, Satoru's thoughts were occupied with another matter entirely, and blame it on his insensitivity—he chose this moment to drop it without hesitation.

"I want you back," he declared, void of any hesitation. "I'll be better, I promise. Those things you hate—tell me, and I'll make sure not to repeat them again."

He wasn't the sharpest when it came to picking up on your feelings, but Satoru vowed that if it bothered you that much, then he would do his best to avoid doing it.

But you... you were still trying your best to grasp the situation. Amidst the plot twist you just experienced tonight, his blatant proclamation was the last thing you expected so you only managed a "What?"

He held your gaze, eerily serious. “I don’t want to break up. It’s hell. We can—I can still fix this.”

He looked sincere, unlike the usual empty promises he’d give you after you went off on him. And suddenly, you understood.

“…really?”

“Yeah. Just give me another chance. I’ll prove it to you,” Satoru said, visibly impatient now. “I won’t give you up. This literally is the fight of my life right now.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle, despite yourself. If there was anything that you had learned tonight, it was that apparently you and him were still salvageable.

“And how will you prove it?”

“Just so you wait and see, sweets. I’m gonna relight your feelings!”

It was beyond corny that he took a line from your favorite song. And both of you burst into a laughter at the sheer silliness of it.

You sighed, but this time of relief, in stark contrast to your earlier sighs that afternoon. You were giddy as a smile perched on your lips. “Fine. Let’s give this another shot.”

Satoru felt the tension in his shoulder melt with your answer. A genuine, wide smile emerged from the bottom of his heart and lit up his face.

“Now, this whole trip has been kind of terrible so far, don’t you think?” He made a brief pouty face for a moment before reverting to his mischievous grin His remarkable expressiveness—reminiscent of a child's, in your opinion—never ceased to fascinate you. “I have a pretty good idea where we should go next.”

You furrowed your brow in confusion. “What do you mean? Tomorrow’s our last day.”

“No freaking way!” he exclaimed, whipping out his phone to launch the travel agency app. “We are going to redo our graduation trip. This time just the two of us!”

There were many things that led to the end of your relationship with your dork of a boyfriend, but as you reflected on it, you realized that there were also many reasons for you to stay together, especially when he reached for your hand and held it firmly in his grasp.

You were unable to contain your excitement and bubbling with melodious giggles that he adored so much as he whisked you away from Kumamoto in favor of the last bullet train to Kyoto, where your long-awaited true vacation would begin.

Epilogue

“I told you this was a horrible idea. I fucking told you.”

"Can you blame me? Dude was about to throttle me in my sleep."

"Geto," Shoko scowled, her disbelief at his simple answer evident as she gestured wildly with both hands towards the wrecked lavatory, emphasizing her point. "Look—now that he had gone and done it, we're the ones footing the bill for the destruction of property!"

Gojo had blasted the washroom with a freaking Red. And the innkeeper promptly held both Shoko and Suguru responsible since their roommates were captured on CCTV and had vanished without a trace.

Suguru rubbed his neck sheepishly. "I genuinely thought it was a good idea. I didn't expect Satoru to go overboard though," then he threw her a stink eye. "And hey, you were complicit in this too!"

Shoko mumbled a string of curses as she pulled out her phone, snapping some pictures of the undeniable evidence of Gojo’s doing, and then made a call. Suguru frowned.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm reporting him to the headquarters!"

[angelickisscs]

buying your love ~ blurb ‧₊˚

୨ ୧ ˚₊ pairing ~ jude bellingham x reader

summary: ignoring your ex is a lot harder than you could have imagined

YOUR BACK WAS pressed against the wooden chair as sweat began to settle on your skin. The sun had decided to make a sudden appearance during spring, the humid air emitting from it being enough to push you out of your slowly boiling house. It saved no effort for the summer, instead opting to use it all up on one day.

Your friend’s decision to all meet at the closest pub garden being one that a large number of others had shared. A loud chatter blurred around the edge of your consciousness. Currently, the race that two droplets of water were having to see which would make it to the bottom of the glass first was far too interesting to miss.

There was a disinterest that had followed you around all day. Without any warning, you lacked the ability to focus on anyone’s words or actions. Whether or not that was the heart that clung to you or the brown eyed man that was still trying to get back in contact, you couldn’t be sure.

It was a surprise when your friend’s hand ended up waving itself directly in front of your eyes, its appearance largening in the glass’s reflection.

“You alright?” She questioned you with a cocked head. You sent her a vigorous nod in return, leaning forward to grab a handful of the assorted nuts they had left on your table.

Her eyes watched you atop of her beer glass, your every move forced under a harsh microscope. Your shoulders were beginning to shrink inside of themselves, your body slightly falling downwards in the chair.

Though, when you finally looked up at her, they had been escorted elsewhere. Despite this fact, the discomfort remained in your body, making you shiver no matter the temperature.

You took the chance to look around you slightly. The tables around you were full, little had their umbrellas up, most choosing to catch a tan under the sun’s aggressive rays. Shoulders that had browned were now beginning to taint themselves a particular shade of red, including yours.

One pair of eyes were stuck to your body like super glue when you were about to finish your brief search, their familiar appearance leaving you no choice but to hastily look away.

The water droplets race had now finished, a round two commencing with others running. You had opted for the left side to win, mentally placing a bet on it to see if the distraction could calm your racing heartbeat. Both failed miserably, left colliding with the right side as it was about to cross the finish line.

It left you nothing to do but allow yourself to creep your eyes back in his direction. They met with his once again, his collected appearance being enough for you to glue to him for much longer than originally planned.

A white vest adorned his chest, framing his biceps to such perfection it was worthy of an art museum. The cap he wore shielded his face from most around him but the seats he had opted for gave you a perfect view of him and him, you. Though from the way a cheeky grin had enveloped is face when he realised you were staring directly back at him had you wanting nothing more than to be able to look away.

You could feel your eyes begging to move but your brain managed to keep control of them. It kept them in control for as long as it could before it was deemed as unworthy to be making such decision from your heart. Its delicate outer-layer shattering one too many times by that man to concede zero contact from just a smile.

With that, you rejoined the conversations with your friends no matter how hard it was. His nagging eyes stayed on you, pleading with you for just one more look.

“And my boss just refuses to give me a bloody break!” Your exasperated friend complained one final time before your others moved in to give their equally as annoyed opinions. You had attempted to give your words of advice but the lack of information you had managed to pick up had you agreeing with everything else everyone was saying.

Jude had not left you with that awkward situation for long, your phone soon buzzing with texts from him.

You look beautiful. The first had read, not having a moment to linger in the spotlight before the second came in. I brought you that dress.

You rolled your eyes at both, your hands itching to put the phone down and have a nice evening with your friends like you had promise but it soon became obvious that your brain had appealed your hearts decision and resumed its previous role.

you did. Was all you could muster in that second. The tips of your fingers had moved with such hesitation that it took close to four minutes to type in and send those two words.

It wasn’t even a second before a text from him was shooting back. Maybe I could see more of it tonight.

Looking over to him, you watched as he raised his eyebrows in questioning, pushing you to answer his possibility.

maybe not

You slammed your phone down onto the table after that, the strength at with which you do so mixed with the swiftness shocking all your friends. In attempt to distance yourself from him, you had only ended up closer than ever and that barrier you had set up around your heart was beginning to crumble each time it expanded with more force than it should be.

“I ask again, are you okay?” The final words that Sara had spoken were heavily enunciated, the worry becoming alarmingly clear as she leaned closer towards you.

“Yeah, awesome.” You responded after a few beats. There was a silence that encapsulated your table, each of their eyes on your face with such a violent heat that didn’t mix well with the humidity already getting itself familiar with the air around you.

They all laughed slightly at your answer, obviously not believing either word that you had to say. Though none of them pushed, knowing the effect that it could have if they were to.

Sara used her closeness to snatch your phone from its downward position on the table when everyone had become distracted for a brief second. The notification she had seen on your home screen had her jaw on the floor though she quickly recovered to keep your privacy.

“Him? Again?” She whispered to you as she met with your pleading eyes. Within a matter of milliseconds, it had given her all the information that she could need.

Sara had been the only one to know of the situation that had taken place between Jude and you, her investigative tendencies coming out in full force when she realised you were beginning to become more secretive during hangouts. She wasn’t happy then and nothing had changed since then.

You sighed, a certain sensation that not even you could pinpoint running through your body with a cooling effect. “It’s almost sum-.”

“You’ve tried the summer fling before.”

She was quick in cutting you off, hitting your knee under the table when she did so. Her eyes held such an accusatory look to them that you felt like a child again, your mother scolding you for having a random sweet before dinner.

“He broke contact not me.” You grimaced at your own excuse, “Plus, I turned him down.”

“Take the phone back and tell me you won’t change your mind then.” Her hand was extended in your direction, the pressure that she was putting on you in so many different forms had you doing exactly what she had challenged you to.

The phone case’s corners were lifted out of place before being popped back down, your fingers needing a job that wasn’t texting his latest text back no matter how hesitant they were the first time. He had a particular way of weakening you and you were yet to figure out his exact methods so that you could create a good enough defence to them.

Slowly, you span it around in your hand. The facial ID was quick to recognise your features, your phone unlocking to show you a Venmo notification followed by a text. Out of pure confusion, you made the decision to click on it, already beginning to lose to Sara.

Then maybe I could see you in something else?

The text was sent first, soon followed by the £750 he had decided to send to you.

Your eyes widened so far that they almost encountered your furrowed eyebrows. Looking upwards towards where he once sat, the site of an empty chair and his friends laughing between one another introduced itself to you.

It wasn’t long before you realised where he had ended up, a pair of hands softly falling upon your reddened shoulders. His face was dangerously close to your neck, the warmth of his breath colliding with the flesh on your ears in such a way that it mixed perfectly with the humidity.

“I’ve always liked red on you.”

[harunayuuka2060]

Jamil: Why have you called again?

Najma: ...

Najma: My future husband is so cute.

Jamil: ...

Jamil: *stares at his phone then puts it back to his ear*

Jamil: It's too early for this.

Najma: Your lovely sister will become a princess.

Jamil: ...

Jamil: Okay, Princess Najma. Where is the castle you're going to live in the future?

Najma: Kingdom of Arendelle.

Jamil: ...

Najma: Bye for now! *ends the call*

Jamil: ...What?

Jamil: *is in deep thought*

Ace: You okay, Jamil-senpai?

Jamil: Yes.

Floyd: You sure, Sea Snake? Haven't seen you made a lot of mistakes until now.

Ace: Yeah. I hate to agree with Floyd-senpai, but it's obvious something's bothering you.

Jamil: It's a family matter.

Floyd: What is it~? Maybe I can help~.

Jamil: It's nothing. My sister just told me that she’ll be marrying a prince from the Kingdom of Arendelle.

Ace: Oh! Congrats, Jamil-senpai!

Floyd: Congrats, Sea Snake~.

Jamil: Why are you congratulating me?

Ace: Oh. So you're not happy for your sister?

Jamil: Not at all.

MC: Could you explain why?

Ace: MC-senpai!

Floyd: Azul's lovey-dovey!

Ace: Bro, what?

Jamil: ...

MC: *smiles* I couldn't help but overhear. It appears you have concerns regarding your sister’s marriage to the Prince of Arendelle?

Jamil: It's not-

MC: Please feel free to share your thoughts. The Kingdom of Arendelle and its people are committed to openness and constructive criticism, and the prince is no exception to this.

Jamil: You seem to be familiar with the prince. What's your relationship with him?

MC: I am merely a common citizen, though His Royal Highness has been engaging with his subjects.

MC: Thus, I am confident that I can address any inquiries you may have about him.

Jamil: *hesitant*

Ace: It's okay, Jamil-senpai! You can trust them!

Jamil: ...

MC: *chuckles* Ah, I can now see where she inherited her delightful personality.

Jamil: ...

Jamil: Najma?

MC: *smiles*

Jamil: Kalim, have you met someone from Arendelle before?

Kalim: Er, I'm not sure. I can't remember. Why?

Jamil: ...

MC: You need not be concerned about your sister. It is entirely her decision whether to marry the prince or not.

MC: *looks at him interestingly* However, the Kingdom of Arendelle would be most pleased to have the Viper Family join us soon.

Jamil: ...

Jamil: There's something off about them.

Kalim: ???

Leona: *looks at them accusingly*

MC: What's wrong, kitten?

Leona: ...

Leona: You're trying to recruit someone to your kingdom again.

MC: *chuckles* Your instincts are as sharp as ever.

Leona: *knows Lucas's story*

Leona: Who is it? So I can give them a heads-up.

MC: Oh, but I would rather surprise him.

Leona: Him- Jamil Viper?

MC: Hmm? How did you know?

Leona: ...

Leona: I hate to admit that you have certain types of people you're quite attracted to.

[lodeddiperactivate]

Rafe (accidentally) meeting your parents ♡

You and Rafe have been sneaking around since that one party at Tannyhill where you two hooked up. You didn't want your family and friends pestering you about how Rafe is "bad news", and well, while he didn't agree to it at first seeing that he was willing to let all of the Outer Banks know that you were his girl, he finally agreed to it since that will make you happy.

You hear a light tap on your bedroom window that night you were supposed to meet up with Rafe, but alas, your parents started to grow suspicious so they grounded you for forgetting to do the dishes, which is one of their lamest excuse yet!

"Rafe," you whispered-shout at him as he was throwing pebbles at your window. Kind of romantic actually. "What are you doing?"

"I thought we were supposed to meet up," he whispered-shout as well. He looked so cute as he pouted at you. He was looking around for a way to get to your room from the outside and so he started climbing a tree. Very cliche, you thought.

"My parents grounded me again, you cannot be here." Rafe finally slipped into your window, trying to catch his breath without causing too much noise.

"So what? You do what your parents tell you to do now?" Rafe leaned and cupped your face with his hands before kissing you.

"Rafe," you said in between kisses, "I'm serious."

"Hmm," Rafe was no longer paying attention to you as he started to kiss you down your neck. You leaned into his touch naturally and kissed him back.

A knock on your door and suddenly both of you froze.

"Yeah?" You asked to whoever was knocking.

"We were planning on ordering pizza, you want some?" Your dad asked.

Rafe was not at all trying to be quiet so you shush him, and him shushing you back at a slightly louder volume. "Why can't we just tell them we're seeing each other?" You mouthed the words "No."

"Hey? Pizza?" Your dad asked again. Your eyes darted back to Rafe and contemplated on whether you should just let the cat out of the bag. But before you could come up with a final decision, the door creaked open.

"Oh, I didn't know you had company," your dad was as shocked as you are. Rafe, on the other hand, stepped towards him proudly.

"Hello Sir, my name's Rafe. Rafe Cameron," he extended a hand shake.

"Ah, you're Ward's boy," your dad looked at him, he seemed content, then he looked at you and seemed to piece the puzzle together.

"Well, honey, if you'd like, you and your boyfriend can join us for pizza?"

"Err yeah we would love to," you said and looked at Rafe who was grinning.

"But son," your dad gripped Rafe's hand and pulled him closer, "next time, use the front door."

[flaggermuser]

Home Is Where His Heart Is

1,266 words || Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Past Trauma, CPTSD, minor spoilers for Season 4 Episode 4, GN Reader, Doctor Reader, Happy Ending, Codependency ||

Sequel to When You Loved Me which contains spoilers for Season 4 Episode 4

Divider made badly by me

Thank you to @theonlymanintheskyisme for being my beta hostage and @homeb0ys for always having the perfect gif or picture

“You should have been raised in a home with a family who loved you.”

It’s 1 am.

The frantic knocking had woken you with a start and you’d rushed to put a robe on, carefully walking down the stairs, concerned about who was at your door this late at night.

Turning on the light in the hall, you slowly advance towards the door, undoing the various locks but keeping the chain on, opening the door enough to peek through the gap only to close it again and remove the chain, then open the door.

“John?”

Homelander stands before you, trembling with red-tinged eyes. He falls forward and you just about catch him, his arms around you tight, being careful not to crush you.

“Oh, John,” you say softly. “Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay. The room can’t hurt you anymore.”

You knew this would happen.

Underneath it all, he’s still that scared little boy you cared for, the one you held in your arms when he cried, the one you’d tuck into bed when he exhausted himself.

After everything they did and, despite the affection you showed him, it’s no surprise that he had nightmares.

Even the most powerful man in the world isn’t immune to night terrors.

You pull away just enough, managing a smile and cupping his cheek in your hand, wiping away some residual tears.

“Come on, I’ve got a spare room. It won’t be as luxurious as what you’re used to but it’s yours for as long as you need it.”

He doesn’t say a word, he just quickly nods his head so you move out of the way, welcoming him back into your home. You’re not sure if he had anything to bring with him or left in such a hurry that he couldn’t grab anything.

However, you were prepared for this.

There was always going to be an attachment, you’d followed his life, unable to let go of the little boy you left behind. It seems now that the attachment goes both ways, not that you mind.

The prodigal son has returned home.

You’re making up for lost time, repenting for your sins.

“I doubt that’s very comfortable to sleep in,” you remark about his suit, only for him to silently agree. “I bought some things for you, just in case.”

“Thank you.”

It’s a whisper, barely audible.

“Come on then.”

It’s nice.

Homelander is used to the opulence that comes with being the Leader of the Seven but somehow, being in a simple bed in a room barely the size of his bathroom is the most comfortable he’s been in years, dressed in simple cotton pyjamas.

It didn’t seem to matter to you that he was a grown man in his 40s, you’d still tucked him in and kissed him on the forehead.

Whether that was a conscious or subconscious decision, he doesn’t know and he doesn’t care, it makes him feel safe, just as it did when he was young. However, instead of being alone in a sterile room, he’s in a spare room in your home and you’re just down the hall if he needs anything.

But he has everything he needs.

His eyes slowly drift close and he begins to fall asleep, his mind going to a place of peace. It’s been some time since he’s been able to sleep soundly since he wasn’t plagued with horrendous memories.

The last time he felt this safe, this secure, was when you were there.

“It’s okay John, you get some sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Even in his sleep, he can feel the smile spreading across his lips, feeling his body melt into the bed. He's never felt this kind of love before, the love of a parent, of someone who truly cared about him to the point they ruined their career.

Of course, once he found you, he did some digging into what happened between you being fired from Vought and when he showed up at your door.

You were blacklisted from scientific pursuits - Vought was determined to keep you silenced.

So you took up a job as a science teacher in a nearby high school, just barely making enough money to afford a comfortable life yet it didn’t seem to have bothered you. After all, you’d managed to buy a nice enough home in a remotely good neighbourhood.

Plus without a partner or children to support, you didn’t have to worry.

Yet he feels bad for you, after all, he’s the reason you’ve spent most of your life alone, atoning for your guilt over abandoning him. In his dreams, he imagines what life with you may have been like; waking up every day to pancakes, going to little league games, getting an A on his test and putting it on the fridge.

You would have made the fake childhood real.

However, now you’re more than making up for it.

“I want you to know, John. I need you to know, that you’ll always have a place here and in my heart."

And for once, he can believe it.

Morning comes.

Light peaking in between the curtains stirs him awake.

For the first time in a long time, maybe for the first time he can ever remember, he’s slept through the night unhindered by nightmares. All thanks to a cosy little bed and a kiss goodnight on the forehead.

For a childless person, you’re incredibly nurturing.

As he trudges down the stairs, still half asleep, he manages to find the kitchen where a big stack of pancakes with bacon, accompanied by a glass of milk, sits on the table, on a place setting almost hastily put together.

It seems as if you don’t get company often.

He’ll be more than happy to change that.

“Good morning, John. How are you feeling today?”

He knows the words before you speak them, he’d heard them from you often enough, in the months when he saw you daily.

Before they made you leave him.

“Did you sleep okay?”

I don’t remember the last time I slept better.

He nods, taking his seat, eagerly digging into the breakfast you’ve made him. The parental domestication of it all warms his heart and his soul, enough to keep a small part of his humanity alive.

“Good?”

Vought has access to all the top chefs in the world, able to make anything his heart could desire but nothing they’ve made tastes anywhere as good as these simple pancakes.

A premade mix or made from scratch, they’re a damn sight tastier than anything he’s had before.

Maybe there is some truth behind the saying ‘made with love’.

“Yes, thank you, Tawny.”

You still, and he can hear your heart beating a little faster as you press your hand to your mouth. You’re trying to hold back your tears, but it’s clear that you recall the same memory, one they tried so hard to erase in his mind.

“What’s your favourite animal?”

“Well John, I like owls because, just like me, they’re awake at night. I like tawny owls the best.”

Tawny.

It’s a simple nickname, one he came to associate with you as a parent, as his parent.

He remembers back when he was reading a book on Roman mythology, one of the many books on history that he read, where owls in ancient myth were described as symbols of wisdom and knowledge.

It also represented foresight, intelligence and the ability to see what others cannot.

Where they all saw an experiment, you saw a little boy in desperate need of love.

“You’re welcome, John.”

[itsswritten]

gone. | 3

Pairing: Azriel x fem reader

Word Count: 5.9K

Warnings: Slight angst, drinking alcohol, nightmares, slight mentions of death.

Summary: Sometimes it take's heartbreak to move on...or to realise what you've always had.

<< Previous Part

To celebrate your return, Mor insisted on a night out at Rita's. Despite your lingering exhaustion and the pull of a quiet weekend begging you to spend it sleeping and reading, you didn’t have the heart to say no to her.

That evening, you prioritised finishing your reports before joining your friends at Rita's. You had always been exceptionally dutiful in your role, taking immense pride in your responsibilities. Though Mor grumbled at your decision to work, she reluctantly agreed to meet you there later, with the rest of the group.

As you worked alone, you cherished the moments of silence. After six months of solitude, acclimatising to the hustle and bustle of family life was both exciting and well… exhausting. And navigating your relationship with Azriel wasn’t the easiest, you were trying, trying really hard in fact. And although you had fallen into old patterns, it was still a little awkward at times. 

Azriel had perhaps had the most enjoyable week he’d experienced since you’d left all those months ago. Everyone had noticed how the tension had eased from his shoulders, warmth had returned to his eyes and how finally, his lips would pull into a full smile again. Azriel hadn’t allowed himself a moment of happiness since you left, in fact he quickly realised in your absence how you were the cause of most of his smiles. So your eagerness to mend a bridge between you both had been greatly appreciated, and he had relished in having your company back.

Yet, despite the familiarity in your interactions– friendly banter, teasing laughter and comforting silence. Azriel still felt the weight of your confession, and what it had done to him. How it had peeled back the layers on himself, revealing something that threatened the very dynamic you had begged for when you came back.

Best friends again?

Your words reverberated in his mind, a relentless echo of your plea. Azriel had teetered on the edge of refusal, almost said no, on the brink of voicing his own desire for something more. Admitting that just being friends would no longer be enough. But he found himself frozen under your vulnerable gaze, he had faltered, he too, consumed with the fear of unsettling the delicate relationship between you. The idea of risking your friendship was too daunting, too uncertain. It was safer to remain friends, safer to keep things as they were.

So he had remained silent.

Azriel took another sip of his drink, listening to his family laughing around their designated table at Rita’s. You weren’t here yet, your usual spot next to him and Mor still empty. Mor had mentioned you were wrapping up some work, and a part of him couldn't shake the urge to seek you out. He was contemplating sending his shadows to check on you. 

Again.

His shadows had been silent watchers since you came back, although you hadn’t you seemed to mind. In fact after spending six months with a few of the smoky tendrils, you actually welcomed their company. Each morning, you were greeted by at least one shadow curling around your cheek, or if you were away from the group for too long, a shadowy companion would appear to give you a light whispery kiss on your skin.

Whether they acted of their own accord or at Azriel's behest remained unclear to you.

He had always been protective of his family, but it only intensified with you since your return. It becoming somewhat obsessive. He couldn’t stop himself though, and you hadn’t rejected his shadows yet, so he took that as silent confirmation that he could continue.

“Gods, the girl has always known how to dress.” Amren said approvingly, her words pulling Azriel out of his thoughts. He followed her gaze to the entrance of Ritas, where a familiar figure seemed to capture the attention of the room.

You.

Dressed in a black lacy number, you exuded an alluring energy. In fact you always had, but Azriel in all his centuries of knowing you had done a remarkable job of ignoring it. The dress was classy in shape, but the sheerness added that Night Court sex appeal you always carried so well. A little black thong and bralette peeked through the sheer fabric, while the lace hugged all your curves.

You had always captured the attention of everyone, a trait of yours that had only become more endearing to Azriel as the years went on. But previously, he would bury those thoughts and feelings in the darkest recesses of his mind, never to be touched. Them only slipping out occasionally in his dreams.

Those particular dreams had plagued his sleep for centuries now, his deepest desires burying themselves in his consciousness to slide out when he drifted into a slumber. His suppressed desires manifesting themselves in vivid dreams, visions of you that often made him struggle with what was real or illusion. 

Some dreams were innocent, filled with whispered conversations under the starry nights. Dreams of taking you flying while your melodic laugh filled his ears. It was those nights he slept soundly, his mind surrendering to the hazy false reality.

There were also those darker dreams. More forbidden. 

The kind that made it hard for him to look at you the next day. It was those dreams he struggled to stir from, the kind of dreams where he’d find you waiting for him in his bed, or where he’d wake still hearing your moans and the taste of you on his lips. 

He’d had more of those dreams since you’d come back, and he knew he would definitely have that problem tonight after seeing you in that dress.

Was it really a problem though?

He couldn’t pretend that those dreams weren’t some of his favourites. As guilty as they made him feel.

And now, after everything. Knowing that there had been a possibility you could have been his, that feeling you, tasting you could have been his reality– he found it hard to steer his gaze. Hard to ignore your allure. Hard to believe he ever could have been so blind.

Pretty, pretty, pretty.

His shadows coiled round his ear to chant, it was information he didn’t need. Because he already knew how beautiful you were. 

He watched as you sauntered in, flashing a smile and small wave to regulars you recognised. A male had reached out, gently tugging on your arm for your attention, Azriel swore he heard him beg you to come dance.

“Maybe later,” you replied sweetly.

He was glad you rejected that male, glad he didn’t have to watch you dance with someone else, not that he had a right to feel that way. Azriel’s eyes followed the sway of your dress as it cascaded down to calf-length. He was mesmerised by you, and when he caught your scent he had to stop a quiet groan rolling up his throat.

Careful Azriel, you’re almost salivating there. It was Rhys’ talons that had clawed on Azriel’s mind, only for him to tease as soon as he was granted access.

Azriel shot Rhys a dark glare.

Fuck off.

Rhys merely laughed into Azriel’s mind. I’m just reminding you, that’s not how you look at a friend.

I said fuck off.

How you stayed composed all those centuries, to merely crumble now I’ll never understand.

Azriel was fast to push Rhys out his mind, while you took your seat beside him. “I got you a drink,” Azriel said to you, pushing your favourite cocktail your way.

“Thanks Az,” you beamed, picking the glass up to sip of the sweet concoction. A soft giggle left your lips as one of his shadows, coiled round the glass up your hand, to greet and pepper you with kisses.

He wanted to tell you how beautiful you looked, the words on the tip of his tongue but there was this fear holding him back. 

“ME-OWW, I want a bite of you!” Mor teased, her fingers grabbing your waist pulling you closer to her on the bench.

“Was that Orion giving you those sex-eyes?” she spoke loudly, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. She had clearly seen the interaction you’d had with an old admirer of yours. 

You shrugged nonchalantly in response, opting to sip your drink instead of answer.

“We aren’t the only ones to have missed you it seems.” Nesta purred from across the table, joining in on Mor’s suggestiveness.

“Put the poor male out of his misery and fuck him already.” Amren smirked, stating an obvious solution.

The table erupted in amusement, words of encouragement and teasing remarks filling the air. It was definitely an option, one worth considering. Especially after that crushing rejection from Azriel.

And Orion was undeniably attractive. He had that deep dark tan with vibrant blond hair that offered a stark contrast to Azriel. It would be a welcome distraction.

However he could never match Azriel’s beauty. 

You noticed how strikingly handsome Azriel was looking tonight, dressed in all black just like you. Always so smart and chic, the pair of you always dressed that way. Mor had pointed out years ago, you both always seemed to coordinate effortlessly. Her comment had sparked a glimmer of hope within you, something you had desperately clung to. That maybe yours and Azriel’s connection was deeper, and a small part of you had fantasised at the possibility that maybe you were mates. 

In the end it had just been wishful thinking. Fulled by your own affection and longing. You and Azriel were fated to be only friends.

And that would be enough.

You rolled your bottom lip into your mouth, glancing behind you with Mor to look at the male. A large shit-eating grin on his face as he winked at you. He was quite the charmer.

“Hmmm maybe,” you replied to your friends quietly as you turned back to face them, Mor bumping her shoulder with yours gently in response. 

Maybe this was how you would move on from Azriel? By getting under someone else. 

You’re not sure why you felt compelled to look, why you cared what he thought, but your gaze steered to your side. Gazing up at your handsome darked-haired friend. Azriel’s eyes were already on you. There was an intensity in his eyes that caught you off guard. 

He didn’t appear impressed, neither angry nor happy. “You’re too good for him,” he stated quietly, before taking a sip of his drink again.

You wanted to respond, ask what he meant by that. Ask why he even cared, why it even mattered. Casual rendezvous’ didn’t hold some kind of standards, and your partners didn’t need to meet whatever expectations Azriel suddenly had for you.

“Oh shut it Az! She deserves to get laid, she didn’t get to have any fun on her trip and that was six months long!” Mor reiterated her rhetoric from the other day.

You rolled your eyes, about to interject to remind her once again you were not on some half-year vacation.

“It was not some trip but a high-stakes mission yadda yadda” Mor chimed, mimicking you.

You had to bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing, the female really knew how to open you up. Her teasing, her probing, was relentless to some. But had always worked on you. Pulling back those walls. 

Giving her a playful glint you spoke, “I almost had some fun if you must know.”

For some reason, you found yourself stealing a glance at Azriel, curious about his reaction. He had never taken an interest in your romantic encounters in the past, so his sudden attention confused you. 

Azriel tensed at your words, chewing the inside of his cheek before taking another sip of his drink. It was Rhys that was watching him with that infamous smirk. Azriel wanted to wipe it clean off his brother’s face.

I told you to fuck off.

Rhys only laughed back into his brother's mind.

“Give me all the details.” Mor squealed, clasping your hands in hers.

You shrugged, your lips curing into a soft smirk, retelling how you had met this mysterious male on your travels. “He was really cute…handsome…had these gorgeous eyes,” you sighed dramatically, your eyes gazing off into the distance, hand on your heart. “But he was the enemy, so I had to kill him.”

Your friends laughed in response, some of them shaking their heads in disbelief. Nesta leaned across the table with a dark glint in her eye, “You could have had a bit of fun first.”

You scoffed playfully at the notion, hand waving in the air dismissively. “Etiquette darling. I don’t like playing with my food before eating,” you purred.

Nesta shook her head with a smirk, “I’ve missed you, come dance.”

It wasn’t so much a request as it was a command when it came to Nesta and dancing. You rose from your seat, Mor and Feyre joining you eagerly as you made your way into the crowd, letting the music engulf you.

Azriel’s eyes, though, stayed glued on you.

"She's not going anywhere, Az," Cassian chuckled, downing the rest of his drink. It was easy for Cassian to assume Azriel’s obsessive nature had spun from your absence, from your dangerous mission, just Azriel’s natural protectiveness of all his family members, but of course that wasn’t the only reason.

He couldn't help but watch you, captivated by every movement. Not when you looked like that, when you moved like that, smelt like that.

Your confession had torn him a part, shattered his perception, forcing him to confront feelings he'd long buried. Make him acknowledge a possible reality he never considered himself worthy of. Azriel couldn't shake the image of what could have been, a world where it would have been your body swaying against his tonight.

Cassian had smacked his empty glass on the table now, shouting that he’d get another round in as he walked over to the bar.

“So what are you going to do, Azriel?” Rhys then asked, his own eyes never leaving Feyre who was dancing drunkenly with you.

Azriel glanced briefly at Amren, who remained at the table, swirling her drink absently. She didn't meet his gaze, clearly uninterested in being dragged into the complexities of her family's relationships.

"I don’t think you'll have four centuries to pine for her this time," Rhys remarked quietly. "I don’t think she'll wait that long."

Azriel drew in a sharp breath at Rhys’ words, his gaze still tracing the contours of your form. His breath caught as he realised your eyes had found him from across the crowded room. A soft smile forming on your lips, prompting him to give you one back in return.

If this was all he could have of you. Would it be enough?

❊

“Az…”

He heard someone calling his name. That familiar melodic tone.

“…Azriel wake up,” that soft sweet voice sang to him. 

Only that voice could pull him from his deepest dreams and nightmares. 

Azriel stirred, his consciousness slowly emerging from the recesses of sleep. Blinking groggily, he glanced around his dimly lit room, his mind clouded with confusion. 

His head throbbed faintly, a dull ache pulsating behind his temples. Had he drank too much? He couldn't remember.

He turned on his side to face where your voice had called him, only to find you laying beside him. Why were you here? What had happened last night?

There was a soft smile gracing your lips. You were adorned in a delicate white nightgown, that seemed to shimmer in the faint glow of the moonlight filtering through the window. You were a vision of ethereal beauty— and you were in his bed. A sight that left Azriel momentarily breathless.

How had this come to be?

You were so close to him, only a breath away from his face. So close, he could feel the warmth radiating from your body. For a fleeting moment, he almost let himself get lost in your gaze. Those eyes, he loved so much. He often dreamt of them, lost himself in them, and searched for them in a crowded room. He loved the way they crinkled when you laughed. A sight he would never tire from seeing.

His mind was reeling though, he couldn't recall getting into bed. Or when you joined him.

"It's time, Az..." you whispered.

Azriel didn’t understand.

"Time for what?" Azriel mumbled, his brow furrowing in bewilderment.

Your words were sickly sweet, dripping with an unsettling ambiguity that sent shivers down his spine. But before he could make sense of them, your fingers were threading through his hair, and he found himself paralysed by the intimacy of the touch.

"It's just time," you murmured softly, your smile masking a deeper sorrow. Your voice echoing through the caverns of his mind like a haunting melody. 

But time for what? 

Azriel's confusion deepened, his heart pounding in his chest. Something was wrong, he could sense it. 

Where were his shadows?

Before he could question you further, he watched as you closed the small gap between you, pressing your lips to his.

As your lips met, there was a sensation of weightlessness over Azriel. As if he was suspended in a realm where time held no sway. It was silent, peaceful and felt endless. He wasn’t sure why or how this was happening, but he couldn’t bring himself to question. Couldn’t bring himself to break away.

No, not now. Not now he had you. 

His heart swelled with a mixture of joy and disbelief. You were finally his, finally in his arms.

He felt you against him. Your body plush to his, melting into his touch. A warmth vibrated through his chest, as your breaths mingled. Azriel’s arms wrapped around you tighter, as if terrified this would all slip away. 

Wait, something was wrong. But Azriel, lost to your touch, couldn’t remember what.

The softness of your kisses against his lips was like a sweet melody, stirring something deep within him. He craved more, his hunger for you insatiable, as if he could never get enough to quench the burning desire within him.

This was what he had been searching for all those years. All those times he got it wrong, thinking it was someone else. It had in fact been right in front of him the whole time– you. 

He could feel you pulling away. Azriel looked at you now, noticing that sorrowful expression on your face again.

“It’s time…I have to move on now,” you smiled sadly.

 "Move on...what do you mean?" he managed to ask, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I've waited so long, Az...too long," you replied, your words laced with a haunting sense of finality.

Unable to find the right words, Azriel watched helplessly as you began to slip away, sliding out of his arms and off the bed. He tried to move, tried to grab you, stop you, pull you back but you were slipping through his fingers like water.

A cold breeze swept through the room, sending goosebumps over his body. The air seemed to grow thicker, heavier, as if the very atmosphere was connected with your emotion. 

Panic gripped his chest, like a claw had clasped his heart and it was squeezing it with every heartbeat. Desperation was flooding his senses as he reached out for you, his voice cracking with emotion. Something was wrong.

“Wait don’t leave y/n, I’ve been meaning to tell you–”

"Will you make me wait another 400 years, Azriel?" your voice echoed in his mind, the haunting tone of your voice shaking him.

His body felt as if it were encased in stone, every movement sluggish and strained. No matter how hard he tried to rise from the bed, he could only manage to shift to its edge, his limbs refusing to obey his desperate commands.

In the doorway of his room, you stood, your form bathed in an eerie half-light that cast strange shadows across your face. Fear etched lines of worry into your features, your eyes wide with a terror that mirrored his own.

Something was wrong. You needed to come back to him, back to his arms where it was safe.

"I may not live that long," you cried out, your voice raw with anguish, the sound of it tearing at his soul.

Azriel tried again, ragging his limbs to try to get closer to you. Then in that moment, time itself seemed to warp and twist, as if the hands of fate were turning the clock.

Azriel could only watch in horror as you began to age before his eyes, each passing second drawing lines of time upon your skin. Your once youthful visage contorted and twisted, suddenly you began to wither, flesh peeling away like petals from a dying flower.

Your scream was piercing through his skull, your hands trying to hold onto the pieces of flesh that were burning away until there was nothing left. 

Tears were streaming down his face as Azriel stumbled off his bed, his heart pounding with a frantic urgency. His rapid uncoordinated footsteps matched his heartbeat. He felt drugged. But that didn’t matter, he needed to find you. He ran out of his room into a darkness that seemed to swallow him whole, his voice a desperate plea echoing through the empty halls.

"Come back...please," he cried out, his words carried away by the chilling breeze that surrounded him. Each step he took felt heavier than the last, his limbs weighed down by a crushing weight. "I won't make you wait…please...please," he begged, his voice suffocating with painful emotion.

“Azriel…” he heard a voice.

“Y/n,” he cried out again. But only darkness answered him.

“Azriel! Wake up!” It wasn’t your voice, no, someone was shouting. Someone was shaking him.

Suddenly the darkness faded, and the face of his brother speckled into his vision. Rhys had his hands gripped to the side of Azriel’s face.

Rhys and Mor had stayed up for the night, lounging with some faerie wine, reminiscing as the house slept silently. But then they’d hear screaming, and before they could even move Azriel had stumbled down the hall screeching your name. It was clear to Rhys, that Azriel was entrapped in some disorientating nightmare, and he had used his talons to pull him from the deathly grips of the dream.

“It’s a dream brother, only a dream” he tried to reassure him.

But Azriel’s eyes were searching, looking for you. 

Azriel was slumped on the floor, his knees under him. Rhys and Mor pulled him against a wall, hoping the cool stone would bring him to his senses. His shadows were frantically buzzing around him. Attempting but failing to console him.

“Where is y/n?” he managed to choke out.

Not here, not here, not here. His shadows whispered in his ear.

Mor stepped forward, concern on her face “She’s with Orion. You know this…” she spoke softly.

Slowly slivers of reality seemed to sink into place. His dream had felt like eternity, and yet it had only been a few hours since you had all left Rita’s. 

No you hadn’t left, you had stayed. Stayed with him, stayed with Orion.

He had been too late. Too late to find the courage, too late to speak his truth.

That male. Orion, had found you on the dance floor. Ensnared your attention for the evening, had charmed you. Charmed you enough that you hadn’t returned with your family, that you had stayed to seek the comfort of him that night.

Not Azriel. He had been too late.

Azriel had curled in on himself, knees brought to his chest as sobs began to rack through his body. The talons of the nightmare still clung to him, dragging him back into its clutches. Senseless words left his lips, your name rolling off his tongue repetitively.

"I was too late…" he cried, his voice choking with anguish. "Rhys, you have to save her… she… her face… Rhys… she was dying."

“I think you might need to call for y/n, Rhys,” Mor suggested, her concern evident as she crouched near Azriel. He was trapped in a dreamlike state, caught between the realms of reality and imagination. When she reached out to touch him, he only flinched away, lost in his own torment.

Azriel was drenched in sweat, his body burning with fever as he struggled to distinguish between what was real and what was not. As much as Rhys tried, Azriel’s mind was a mess. He couldn’t decipher what was right in front of him and what was in his mind. 

To him you were gone, he’d seen it with his own eyes. He had failed you. 

"What's going on?" Your voice cut through the tense air, drawing the attention of Mor and Rhys.

You stood in the doorway of the lounge, your hair tousled and your nightgown askew as if someone had forcefully dragged you from the depths of your own dreams. In fact that is exactly what had happened. Azriel’s shadows were circling you, pulling and tugging you relentlessly, just as they had awoken you.

You could tell from their desperate plea something was wrong, and it had only taken you a matter of seconds to run from your room.

"We thought... I thought you'd gone home with—" Rhys began, but you shook your head, your expression filled with concern as you took in Azriel's state. Without hesitation, you moved quickly to kneel beside him.

You could have gone home with Orion, almost did. Was tempted, but there was something about the way Azriel had looked at you as they all departed for the night that had gnawed at you. A look of a broken male. His expression, a mixture of sadness…and well, longing. It was confusing.

And unfair. He had rejected you after all.

Yet, there was a vulnerability in his gaze that you couldn’t ignore. Despite his rejection, your heart ached for him. After an hour in Orion's company at the bar, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease. So you called it a night and came home.

It had been a long time since you’d seen Azriel caught in a state like this. Azriel didn’t sleep much, but when he did there had been a few times in your years of knowing him that he'd find himself trapped in the liminal space between dreams and reality.

“Hey Az…” you moved to the space in front of him, crouching between the space of his kness. His eyes were skittish, looking at you but through you. It was as if he didn't register your presence at all, trapped in a world of his own making.

“I waited too long…” he breathed out, his fingers tangled in his hair pulling and ragging at the strands.

“Azriel,” you spoke gently but firmly, your voice a lifeline in the darkness that engulfed him. You needed to coax him out of this. “It wasn’t real, only a dream”

A torrent of incomprehensible words spilled from his lips, and you exchanged a glance with Rhys and Mor, who stood nearby, frozen in place. 

Over the centuries of being part of this family, you'd all encountered moments like these. Moments where the nightmares and traumas racked over you. However, Azriel had always been more private about his inner turmoil. You realised that this might be the first time Rhys and Mor had witnessed this part of him.

It wasn’t your first time, though. One of the earliest moments you realised you loved Azriel was after he had helped you through a debilitating nightmare, one that had left you screaming in your sleep. From then on, he had always been there to offer comfort in those dark moments. 

And you had always been there for him in return.

“I’ve got this…” you reassured them with a soft smile, and they nodded, reluctantly leaving the room. They didn’t want to abandon Azriel in such a state, but they trusted you, trusted that you would only ask this of them if it was for Azriel’s best interest.

You waited for them to leave, the room enveloped in a heavy silence, save for Azriel's incoherent whispers that echoed off the walls.

“I was too late…” he repeated, his voice strained.

“Hmmm were you? What were you late for Azriel?” Again you voice, firm but sweet resounding through the room. 

He blinked, finally recognising your presence. His brows furrowed as tears streamed down his face.

“I lost you, I was too late” he choked out.

“You haven't lost me, Az. I'm right here,” you reassured him, your voice a soothing balm.

But Azriel shook his head, haunted by the vivid memory of seeing you slip away before him.

“Tell him, tell him I’m right here.” You spoke, this time towards his shadows.

She’s here. She’s here. They sang.

Azriel’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment, as he listened to his shadows. They had never deceived him before, always guiding him with honesty. So surely what they were saying was true?

You tilted your head slightly, a soft smile gracing your lips as you reached for his hand. His eyes widened at your touch, but he didn’t recoil. He watched as you gently placed his hand against your chest, just above your heart.

Real, real, real. His shadows continued to sing in his ear. Their own feather-light touches caressing his body, cooling him down.

He could feel the steady rhythm of your heartbeat beneath his touch.

Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump. The vibrations of your heart were sobering under his palm. And there was something about the way this felt, so different to the version of you in his dream. Everything was heightened, every sense felt multiplied.

“I’m real Az, and I’m here. It was just a dream, okay?”

Azriel felt a shaky breath leave his lips as his own breathing synced with yours. His rapid heartbeat gradually slowed to match the steady rhythm of yours.

You weren’t gone. But you had chosen someone else. 

“But…but you chose someone else,” he sputtered out.

You weren’t sure what he meant. Whether this someone else was what he had dreamed of, or if he meant Orion. But you leaned forward, drawing closer until your faces were mere inches apart, so close that he wouldn’t be able to look away.

“I’ll always choose you, Azriel.” It was the truth. You knew he needed to hear this, he needed reassurance to pull him from the grasp of his nightmare, but it was also unequivocally true. You would always choose him.

You had tonight.

In the opportunity of comfort and pleasure of another, you had chosen Azriel. Even in his rejection. Even if that made you a fool. You would always choose him.

“Really?”

“Always.”

You both sat there for a while, Azriel syncing his breathing to yours as the cloudiness of his vision cleared and he began to feel reality pinching him. It felt so real, that nightmare. A version of his future he never wanted to face.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, gently moving his hand from your chest as embarrassment seemed to finally wash over him.

“Don’t ever apologise for this, Az,” you spoke softly.

“No,” he shook his head. “I just mean I’m sorry for everything, for hurting you before, for not seeing what was right in front of me all along, for not being honest…”

Your brows furrowed as you looked at him, but you let him speak.

“I’ve been trying to find the right words to say to you for the past six months.” He laughed then, not the laugh you loved. A self-deprecating laugh that made your chest ache. “I had six months to find the right words, and I was still too late…” he trailed off, his voice heavy.

“Ever since Mor introduced you almost four centuries ago, you’ve had me mesmerised. I thank the stars every day you came into my life…”

You thanked the stars everyday for him too.

“Azriel, I feel the same…” you began, but he interrupted you.

“No, I don’t think you understand, y/n. I adore you. I’ve always adored you.” Azriel's voice wavered slightly as he spoke, his hands trembling as he reached out to take yours. 

He hesitated with his words, still struggling to find the right way to say this. You felt the roughness of his scars against your soft skin, but it was welcome, you had always found his hands beautiful. His touch, comforting. 

Right now though, something felt different. 

The way Azriel was looking at you was unlike anything you had seen before. It was as if he was seeing you for the first time, truly seeing you.

“You are so wonderful, so beautiful, smart, hilarious. You’re the best of all of us.”

You weren’t sure how to respond, it was a notion your family had always told you. Azriel through the years, claiming that statement more times than you could count. But this time the words felt different, they weighed heavier, they revealed so much more. And you feel your cheeks heating under his intense stare.

“You are. You’re the best of us, better than me. Too good for me.”

“Azriel…” you said softly,

“That’s why your confession came as a shock, I just never considered myself good enough for you. Never thought I’d be the kind of male worthy of you.”

You felt your throat tighten at the idea. The thought that Azriel had never considered himself good enough for you, when he was exactly everything you wanted and needed.

“I’ve been deflecting my feelings for years, ignoring them, because I didn’t think I deserved you…”

Azriel's hand tightened around yours, his thumb tracing soothing circles on your skin.

"But I don't want to waste any more time," he confesses, his voice barely above a whisper. “I know you were with Orion–”

“There’s no one else,” you cut him off quickly, the realisation dawning on you. A realisation of what was happening, what your dear friend was admitting. Something you had hoped and wished for so long.

Your heart was now the rapid one and you could feel it beating through your chest. 

"If there's a chance for us, I want us to take it." Azriel concluded, his confession final.

"Really, Az?" your bottom lip quivered slightly, your eyes becoming glassy as tears threatened to spill.

"Really, my love."

“I love you…” The words tumbled from your lips, soft and heartfelt.

With gentle strength, he pulled you into his embrace, your head finding its place in the curve of his neck. He inhaled deeply, savouring the familiar scent of you.

“I love you more than words can express, more than you may ever realise,” he whispered, his voice brimming with tenderness. “And I promise to make up for lost time.”

You leaned back slightly, your eyes meeting his. A soft smile was on his lips, one you gave back, as a tear rolled down your cheek. He moved gently then, leaning down to press a tender kiss where the salty tear had escaped. 

Then, as if drawn by an invisible force, a force he had ignored for hundreds of years, his lips found yours in a long-awaited embrace. Time seemed to slow as you shared that kiss, your lips melting into one another. Finally, the kiss seemed to speak of. 

This was it. 

This would be enough, because this was everything.

fin.

a/n: Sorry to make you all wait so long for this! I was in a really bad writing slump, and wasn't sure how to make this work, still not 100% on it but hey-ho (but thank you to my love, @illyrianbitch for her continuous support every time I changed my mind and scrapped an idea lol, and to @milswrites for her lovely words that helped me get out of my slump) Anyway I hope you all got the ending you wanted ;) but yeah let me know if you want any one-shots from these two! I'd be happy to explore their dynamic a little more if you've got a scenario in mind <3

Forever tags: @lilah-asteria @illyrianbitch @milswrites @sleepylunarwolf @daily-dose-of-sass @alittlelostalittlefound @amberlynn98 @marscardigan

[augustinewrites]

I love your keeping up with the Fushiguros series! You write beautifully. I was wondering how Megumi and/or Gojo would react to reader being hit on. But reader doesn’t notice.

“which one is it?” gojo asks, resting megumi’s baseball bat on his shoulder. 

it’s no secret that gojo and megumi don’t agree on a lot of things. 

like, a lot of things. 

they don’t like the same foods, the same genre of movies, or the same style of clothes. they can never agree on what shows to watch in the morning or whether certain items are recyclable or not. 

but this is one front that they will always be united on.  

the boy scans the park, huffing as he points the offender out. “there.”

their target for this mission? male. mid to late twenties. single. a threat that must be eliminated at all costs.

he’s sitting on the same park bench that you and tsumiki are on, both of you laughing as he tells you a joke.

“does he always sit with you guys?” gojo asks, lifting his sunglasses to peer across the playground to where you are.

“yeah,” megumi confirms, glaring. 

gojo glances down at his own ten year old, touched that they’re actually on the same page for once in their lives. but he’s prompted to look back over when he hears your laugh once more, tensing when he sees the man reach across the back of the bench to touch your shoulder.

that’s his final straw.

“alright, here’s the plan,” he starts with the utmost seriousness, crouching down to the kid’s height. “we’re going to–”

“dig a hole in the field and bury him in it,” megumi finishes a little too decisively. 

“uh,” gojo laughs nervously, reconsidering whether horror movies are a good way to practice channeling cursed energy. he taps the baseball bat against his palm. “we’ll call that plan b. first we’re just gonna scare him a little. show him and everyone in this park what’ll happen if they try to make a move on what’s mine—”

megumi kicks his shin.

“ours, sorry.” 

so they move in. megumi takes two strides to match each of his, but they still look every part the intimidating sorcerer duo they’d grow to be one day. 

you see them coming right away, and gojo watches you cycle through emotions faster than tsumiki goes through strawberry milk. confusion, realization, and finally horror. 

“satoru,” you say, in that tone with that look on your face (the one that often precedes a lecture). 

he’s about to casually cut into the conversation when a little boy (the man’s son, he assumes) cuts in front of him, bashfully handing you a handful of dandelions. 

megumi doesn’t try to hide his disdain, scoffing under his breath about how they were just weeds. oh, gojo realizes as he glances down at the kid.

so he’s not the only one who’s jealous.

[hueseok]

( 16. ) A LOVER’S KISS.

a friends with benefits relationship never ends on a good note. unless, both parties are not dumb fucks who find themselves falling for each other along the way of their agreement, of course.

and in yours and jeongguk’s case, you should have known better than to think the two of you would be an exception to the so-called curse of being friends with benefits with someone you already hold dear to you, since not even five months since it was agreed upon—the line between being only friends and being a little like lovers only continue to get hazier and hazier.

━ jeongguk x reader ━ 4.1k words. ━ 18+ ━ smut | angst | fluff | friends with benefits au | idiots to lovers au | college au | yearning? pining? | ft. swimmer!jeongguk, editor-in-chief!reader (small appearances from swimmer!jimin & associate editor!taehyung) ━ warning/s: swearing

note. no smut for this part, but i’m keeping the rating 18+ and have the smut label above since this drabble series overall isn’t suitable for minors !!

[ chapter index. ]

EPISODE 16. the one with a lover’s kiss !

jeongguk couldn’t sleep the night before the competition.

it’s not the first time this happened, of course. one can guess that he should be used to it at this point due to the nerves and the pressure and his desire to do great for the sake of the university’s reputation and for his own reputation as well (and maybe because of the expectations of his coach too who often wasn’t that kind in order to push him to the farthest of his limits). 

however, as made apparent by you before you attended class earlier, he didn’t just have the game to keep in mind for tomorrow, no—because as you have explained to him and cruelly reiterated when he called you a few minutes ago just for the purpose of hearing your voice before he tried to sleep—tomorrow was also going to be the day in which you were going to tell him your decision on whether you were willing to fully take him back again or not after the whirlwind of events that happened to your relationship these past weeks.

he wanted to believe that he had a good chance in winning you back; he wanted to confidently say that there was perhaps no way you would reject him, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up too high either. god knows how much that could hurt once you give him your answer and it turns out to be the opposite of what he was guessing. though a part of him was already convinced that surely, you wouldn’t have entertained his sweet gestures this week since making up if it wasn’t going to lead to you taking him back, right?

right? 

you possibly couldn’t be that brutal.

though in your defense, he didn’t think he had the right to be angry if leading him on was your plan all along. truth be told, he has been both intentionally and unintentionally brutal to you before to have the nerve to complain, that if you were going to take this opportunity to get the revenge you wanted, then he should just be a man about it and accept it the way it is.

***

“i don’t see her.”

jeongguk couldn’t breathe. he took a dramatic inhale to calm himself and regulate his heartbeat. “anywhere? you don’t see her with the guys and just—somewhere in the bleachers, maybe?”

“nope.” jimin glanced at him. “why? is ____ not coming? haven’t you two made up already? don’t tell me you did something stupid again.”

“we’re fine.” he rolled his eyes, slightly unsettled by his own statement. “it’s just important that she’s here.”

“yeah, i know, she’s your lucky charm, blah blah blah.”

“it’s not that.” jeongguk huffed. “well, it’s a part of it, but it’s bigger than that. is it wrong for me to want to try and find her before the competition begins?”

“yeah, coach would kill you if he doesn’t find you here when he arrives, so i advise you to just chill and be patient. maybe she’s just running a bit late.”

“yeah, you’re right. i’m just paranoid, am i?”

“what are you even exactly paranoid about?” jimin asked.

jeongguk frowned. talking about it out loud made it too real, and he preferred not to do it because of that, but he figured that he should at least tell someone about it if he wanted more insight perhaps. at least jimin has been a far better partner to yebin than jeongguk ever was to you to not be the person suitable to talk about this with. “she said if she doesn’t attend, that means she’s dumping me.”

jimin’s eyes widened in genuine surprise. “really? i never thought ____ had it in her.”

“she made it clear that she’s not going to see me anymore if i don’t see her today. i’m practically on the verge of death right now—or the start of my emo boy era.”

 jimin snorted. “didn’t you already go through that phase?”

“no, i haven’t.”

“yeah, you have. you’ve been moping for a few solid weeks when you and her weren’t okay. can’t say that you don’t deserve it. after what you did, you realize that it’s fair for her to play you around a bit, right?”

jeongguk wanted to strangle jimin sometimes because of his bluntness and desire to always tease the hell out of the people he’s close with (which unfortunately included jeongguk). but at the same time, he couldn’t deny that it was good to have a friend like him who could slap the facts in your face in order for you to see the truth and the implication of your actions—and be sometimes funny with it, for that matter.

“is it really?” jeongguk asked.

“well… i mean, it is in a way that you should see how lucky you are that you’re going to get your answer straight away. if i was her, i would have dragged this winning her back thing for a whole year before dropping the bomb that maybe we should just stay friends.”

“you seriously can’t be that cruel, jimin.”

“i could be, if someone really fucked me up.” he laughed. “but ____ isn’t like that. and i know she has strong feelings for you too. so maybe the best course of action now is to just trust what she decides for the both of you and live with it.”

this wasn’t the pep talk that jeongguk was expecting to receive before the tournament.

“and what am i supposed to do if she doesn’t come and that means we’re really over?” he questioned again.

jimin sighed. “then i guess you just have to go back to your emo tendencies and move on.”

***

the first time jeongguk personally asked if you could go to one of his matches, you and him weren’t secretly sleeping with each other yet. you were still in that weird phase of being great friends when you have the rest of the gang with you, but suddenly being really quiet and awkward with each other when it was just you two. he never even thought of inviting you alone when it came to his scheduled races, believing that he was doing the both of you a favor by not putting yourselves in a situation wherein you and him will just fall back to the usual cringeworthy interactions that will lead him physically wincing whenever he remembered them.

but that time, you overheard his conversation with taehyung who was apologizing that he couldn’t come for his match that weekend because of a project he needed to work on, and jeongguk, upon hearing him explain, visibly expressed his disappointment at the news because he wanted a friend to be there just so they could take a proper picture and video for him that he could look back after (if it wasn’t mentioned yet, jeongguk was obsessed with always doing a better performance than his last).

“i can go,” you volunteered before, your eyes focused still on the monitor inside the campus publication office but your ears were paying attention to them. “i’m free this saturday.”

jeongguk looked at you afterwards with a look that showed absolute hesitance. he was thankful that you weren’t peering at him to notice. “oh. you sure, ____? i wouldn’t want to bother you.”

“it’s fine.” you flickered your gaze to him. “though, if you don’t want me to be there, that’s totally okay too—”

“what? don’t be ridiculous.” a very very awkward chuckle tumbled out of jeongguk’s lips, one that taehyung furrowed his eyebrows at because of how fake it sounded. “why wouldn’t i want you to be there? of course you can come. i’d be really glad if you do.”

he didn’t know what response he was expecting, but you grinned, nodding in an skeptical manner, and then returned to what you were doing like nothing happened. jeongguk decided to face taehyung again afterwards, the latter staring at him with a similar dubious yet funny look, but he punched his arm and opted to flee from the office, muttering that he was going to be late for class if he stayed any longer.

fast forward to when the tournament came and he finished first place, he was ecstatic, brimming with pride because of his accomplishment—and when he met you outside the locker room to thank you for really coming and taking shots of him that he would review that night, he was a bit startled when you congratulated him with a tight hug, not used to that kind of affection from you.

sure, he always knew you were sweet to your close friends. you were like that to goeun, taehyung, and haru.

to him, though? that was the first.

“i’m so proud of you, guk!” you told him, the smile on your face so bright that he thought he might have to squint to look at you properly. “this is your first win of the season, right?”

jeongguk nodded. “yeah, i think it is.”

from that point forward, things weren’t so awkward between the both of you. your friendship solidified further when he asked if you wanted to help him with something at his uncle’s newly built restaurant, and you agreed, recognizing the same newfound comfort he was beginning to feel that you were eager to foster it more because it didn’t sit right with you how you were alright with everyone else and yet weird with him.

now, he didn’t want to think of the possibility of things being like that again. he barely survived not talking to you that much during the soomi fiasco and the period wherein he purposely avoided you to not cause any more damage than he had after the confrontation. it was one of the driving forces why he made up his mind in truly pursuing you—the realization that he wasn’t fond of the idea of not being able to talk to you every single day, of not being able to tell you the most random things and be certain that you would always know what to say next.

entering the natatorium, jeongguk didn’t appear as if he was hiding the fact that he was searching for you among the crowd. he already quickly spotted taehyung, haru, and goeun at their spot (you weren’t there), and then he tried searching for yebin, hoping that you decided to accompany her instead this time to create some kind of suspense (you still weren’t there when he saw her). so, all he could do after was let his eyes explore the whole venue as fast as he could, his heart hammering harder at every instance he failed to find you.

was this going to be the end of it all?

were you not coming?

was yesterday the final moment he got to hold you?

“guk,” his coach abruptly called his attention, “take your jacket off. it’s about to start,” he said, noticing jeongguk’s stiff posture as he stood there at the starting platform, immobile while the other players he was competing against were already removing their clothes.

jeongguk took one long scan again.

he still couldn’t see you.

and although he has yet to dive into the water, it felt as if he lost the ability to swim and was drowning to the bottom of the pool.

***

“congratulations!”

jeongguk could at least afford them a genuine smile as taehyung, haru, and goeun pulled him for a group hug. they simultaneously and continuously patted his back, the two boys doing it in a harsh manner to annoy the hell out of him that jeongguk had to groan and shove them off to prevent them from doing further damage to his aching body, though not without laughing and muttering his thanks for both being here and congratulating him.

“you did great back there,” haru said with a proud grin. “you’re definitely going to be the cover of the next issue again with the victory. i doubt i have to get ____’s approval just to make that happen.”

at the mention of your name, jeongguk’s attempt to seem fine crumbled a little. it didn’t go ignored by the rest of the gang with him; although they weren’t aware of the deal you and jeongguk had, they could understand that your absence today meant that something was wrong.

goeun cleared her throat, the silence insufferable that she couldn’t resist finally speaking up. “well, uh, haru mentioned that he’s also treating us today.” she placed an arm around haru’s shoulders, tiptoeing and struggling in the process. “right, ru?”

haru glanced at her. “i am?”

“you are.” taehyung chimed in, linking his arms with haru as if to lock him in. “you said you would if jeongguk wins first place.”

“i did?” haru’s tone remained confused.

jeongguk had to chuckle at their dumb effort to lighten the mood again. it was obvious that no conversation which involved haru saying that he was going to treat them later if jeongguk indeed won occurred. 

“don’t worry,” jeongguk said to haru, “i already messaged my uncle about the win and he’s gonna cook for us at the restaurant.”

“thank god.” haru exhaled a relieved breath. “because i do not have enough money right now to pay for all of us.” he glared at goeun.

“sorry, but someone had to say something,” she muttered.

“and you thought saying that i was going to treat everybody was the perfect thing to mention?” asked haru.

her shoulders lifted up in a shrug. “you’re the most generous out of us three.”

“no, he’s not,” taehyung butted in, “i think that title goes to me.”

“is it?” goeun asked. “you’re probably the most frugal of us all.”

“sensible is the right term for that,” defended taehyung.

jeongguk was about to join in the banter, to divert the teasing towards taehyung more as some sort of payback for the back slaps he got earlier, but just as he was opening his mouth to get a sentence out, he saw you coming into view.

you were here.

you came.

but you were late. what did that mean?

“____,” jeongguk breathed out.

the group automatically shut up, whirling around to see where jeongguk was staring at.

he was very much tempted to run to you, but his knees stayed put, somehow frozen in place. a part of him perhaps knew that talking to you immediately might be the wrong choice. he was afraid that the reason why you arrived late today was because you were still planning to reject him, that you were just being nice about it by doing it in person instead of text—but that was more cruel, in his opinion. he rather you don’t see his face when give him the news that you’re not willing to be with him again.

“hey,” you said, looking directly at him before diverting your attention to the rest of the crew. “you guys mind if guk and i speak alone?”

a pause.

“yeah, it’s cool.” haru was the first one to say, followed by taehyung, and then goeun.

“thanks.” you smiled.

they awkwardly shuffled and made their way to the exit of the locker room. they gave one last look to jeongguk just as they disappeared into the hallway, as if they were wishing him luck or reassuring him that everything was going to be okay, and looked at you too, as if they were sending a similar message that translated more into ‘please don’t break his heart or else this friend group might turn weird’.

when they were gone and definitely out of earshot, jeongguk finally had the courage to take a step forward. “____,” your name tumbled out of his lips again, “what are you—”

“i told you so,” you cut him off. you were going to lead this conversation, you made that mental note to yourself earlier prior to leaving your place, and you were going to say everything you had to say to him that maybe you never had the courage to do so in the past. “you didn’t need me here to win.”

he frowned. “winning is the last thing on my mind today, honestly.”

“that’s not a good mindset for an athlete.”

“it isn’t.”

you pursed your lips. “still, you won.”

“i guess, i did, huh?”

“without me there too.”

“yeah, you already said so.” although he didn’t appear resentful, he sounded bitter. “are you going to keep repeating that because you want to prove that even without you, i’ll be okay?”

“that wasn’t my intention.”

“then what is your intention exactly? i thought you said that if you didn’t come today, then that would mean that you’re not willing to give me a second chance.”

“and yet… i’m here, guk.”

he raised his eyebrows. “you are, but you were… you’re late.”

“because i chickened out.”

“you chickened out?”

you moved forward and sat on the empty bench across him. it was a lot easier to pour your heart out when doing that was only done through your imagination. “i was supposed to be here earlier. it’s just, uh, i… i’ve been—i’ve been stalling.”

it was true. you were adamant last night that you were going to give him a second chance. you were confident that for the past few days, regardless of how short the span was, jeongguk managed to prove to you that he was serious in wanting to commit to a real relationship with you. you saw that in the manner he always looked after you, in the manner he made time for you, in the manner he didn’t shy away from showing you affection when he felt like it—you were convinced that even though he never said it out loud, he really liked you, because the things he did… you were positive that you didn’t just do that to someone you didn’t like.

but you were also really fucking scared. it dawned to you last night (while you were overthinking everything and talking to yourself) that it indeed hasn’t been that long and that you were being too easy again for jeongguk; you were laying yourself out to him without him struggling that much. and why? because you loved him, of course. because you were afraid that if you prolonged this, he would give up and you were going to be alone and hurt once more.

“hey.” jeongguk placed his hands over yours as he knelt in front of you, hair wet and expression sincere; you didn’t notice him walk towards where you were, you were too preoccupied in your thoughts again to catch it. “you don’t have to…” he struggled with what he was going to say, mostly because it wasn’t what he wanted to happen, “you don’t have to give me a second chance if you’re not up for it.”

“really?”

his heart dropped. it was only a hypothetical statement; he didn’t expect you to bite the idea.

“um…” he tried to speak, realizing that acting like a martyr isn’t part of his portfolio, but he was willing to act one right now to not make this harder for you. “i mean… it’ll suck ass, and i’ll probably cry for months, and i’ll beg you first not to date anyone else while we’re still studying in the same university—but after that, after i stop being a big baby about it,  i’ll…”

“you’ll what?” you were waiting for what he was going to tell you next. the corners of your mouth were turned slightly upwards at the hint of playfulness in his tone.

he scooted closer to you. fuck his knee; the high probability of it being bruised if he stays kneeled on the ground was the least of his worries. “i’ll stay by your side and i’ll try harder until you get tired of me. it’s what i told you the other day, didn’t i? i won’t ask you to be gentle with my feelings—i’ll let you torture me and walk me around like a dog. i’ll follow you wherever you’ll go, just patiently waiting ‘til you decide i’m worth your time. i’ll let you hurt my feelings, ____, because between us two, i know that it’s my heart that deserves a pretty good beating.”

you snorted at how dramatic his speech sounded. “hurting you is far from what i want. i’m not that sadistic.”

“then what is it that you want?”

“you.”

jeongguk couldn’t stop the smile from conquering his features. he got the answer he wanted to hear. “i want you too.”

“i don’t mean that in a horny way, okay?” you quickly clarified and he had the strength now to laugh. “i want you to be here for me—all the time—is what i mean. i want you to continue being my best friend, and i also want you to kiss me whenever you feel like it. i want you to annoy the shit out of me, i want you to hug me, i want you to volunteer to do the most random stuff just to help me, and i want you to keep proving that you want us to work, guk. i want you to always remind me that it’s safe to let my guard down and give you my 100% all the time.”

“i’ll do that, if that’s what you want,” he promised. “you can trust me, babe. you can even exceed that 100% and make it 200 or a thousand—” your laughter echoed in the locker room.

jeongguk joined you, laughing as well, but as he did, it was also sinking in that what happened between the both of you left a huge mark that made it difficult for you to trust him. he couldn’t blame you, no, not after what he did, and he was eager to change that. he was optimistic that he could do that—because he knew it inside him that he has strong feelings for you. he could even say that he loved you and it would feel right.

“i’m sorry for being late,” you said.

he shook his head. “don’t be. i kind of deserved it.”

“well, you’re not wrong.”

“wow. you’re not a sadist, huh?”

you snickered; jeongguk grinned. he thought that he could stay in this moment forever, just you and him staring at each other, this unexplainable yet gooey feeling in your chests making it seem like everything was going to turn out fine.

and then he asked, “can i kiss you?”

your eyebrows rose. you remembered the last time he asked you that, when you were both in the middle of sex and you were hesitant to grant him that kiss because you were afraid of the repercussions that would soon come after once you did. yet, thinking more about the moment, he didn’t really ask you before, really; it was more like a demand, a plea, and it was different from what he was doing right now because despite appearing like he could beg just to get that kiss, it was still so sincere and was done out of—

love.

love? he hasn’t said that out loud before. you didn’t want to assume. but the way he was gazing at you…

you placed your palms on his cheeks while he didn’t hesitate in extending his arms so that they were circled around your waist, pulling you closer that unconsciously caused you to open your legs to make space for his upper body. 

“doesn’t your knee hurt?” you whispered.

jeongguk pressed his lips together. “it’s tolerable.”

there you were again, with that infectious laugh, leading jeongguk to be tempted further to just kiss you without waiting for an answer. “okay, guk.”

he gave you a questioning look.

you rolled your eyes. “yeah. you can kiss me. but if you do...” you trailed, “that would mean that you’re taking the lucky opportunity of being my boyfriend.”

“i’ll make sure to thank you every day for that wonderful honor.” he allowed himself to push forward and kiss your lips. it was what he was dying to do for the past week; it wasn’t enough that he was only close to you or had the permission to hug you every now and then—his body craved to have you close, not in a manner that was horny like disclaimed just seconds ago too, but for all the reasons that you illustrated as well. 

kissing you gave him the signal that you were close. and god, did he always want you close.

“i’ll be better,” he murmured, kissing you continously. “i’ll treat you better, ____.”

you didn’t answer. you just smiled and kissed him further.

when for the past months, having your mouth on his was the thing you had to avoid the most, finally having the liberty to do it now just drove you to do it over and over again.

note. hehe surprise? this update took so long that i think it took two whole damn years before i got the motivation to write again and finish this 😭 apologies for that lmao. life has been a whirlwind but since i'm now in a much happier state, i decided to try continuing this and i'm glad that it ended up with me finally concluding the story :D

honestly, i'm not too sure if got the vibes / essence of the story still since i haven't touched this mini series in such a long time. nonetheless, i did reread it and i hope that i brought justice to what you might have thought the ending was going to be! (also, i might edit this later on for improvement bc i just realized that my writing perhaps did not improve lmao but for now, this is what i can only offer >.<)

as always, THANK YOU FOR READING & FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED ! ♡(ˆ‿ˆԅ)

taglist (1/3): @fan-ati--c @marknee @sexymenandcuteanimals101 @jiminisnotavirgin @joondala @afangirllikeme-blog @jxxvk @this-is-seriousbusinesz @swga-ficrecs @apollukee @bloopkook @jaerisdiction @thisartemisnevermisses @koolvrr @wearenot7withu @brilliantmoon7 @naturules @betysotelo18 @jinyoungie0922 @codeinebelle @minimoni7 @turquoiseandplaidinautumn @moonchild1 @taeshuworld @daydreambrliever @lilyflowerguk @rjsmochii @namjeonii @drownforryou @sugapiie @emeriroth @xius-exos @sw33tnight @lunaoceanchild @outropjmm @dojacandy @brit97 @abyjil @haruharux23 @haniiii @callmejimmeo @itsalyssa15 @hinawariinoue97 @libra04 @gukkmoans (striked means tumblr won’t let me tag them!)

[sunderwight]

Imagine how much Shen Yuan and Airplane would hate it if an actual PIDW fan transmigrated in too, though.

Like, one of the guys who genuinely loved the stallion novel harem-building aspects, the weird-yet-vanilla het sex, the willingness to throw the plot out of the door just to have yet another interchangeable woman throw herself at the hero. Someone who only ever had nice things to say in the comment section, who unironically referred to Airplane as a master storyteller, who bought some of the VIP chapters (if he liked the wife Bingge was destined to wed & bed), couldn't name any of the monsters or sex flowers or most of the male side characters, had a Xin Mo keychain and once commissioned fan art of Sha Hualing (favorite wife) looking sexy in a pin-up pose, and told Peerless Cucumber he was a weirdo who took things too seriously on more than one occasion.

I think he'd bother Airplane the most. Shen Yuan would be annoyed and tell him his taste was in his ass, but that's about it.

But Airplane? I think at first he'd be inclined to enjoy having an uncomplicated "fan" of his work turn up. This guy actually praises him! He has nothing but flattering things to say! It's like a dream come true! Except... well, Airplane himself is perfectly aware of the decisions he made in his writing and why (he sold out deliberately, not because he thought it would actually make for a better story -- say what you will about whether or not it's worth it, but the man knows what he's doing), and also I suspect kind of resents his own popular audience whenever he has to interact with them for more than minute.

After all, these were the patrons he had to appease and appeal to, the readers he had to worry about offending or alienating, the ones who were paying the bills but also would have vanished at the drop of a hat if he hadn't given them a steady supply of what they wanted. It's not the audience he actually desired, it's the one he decided not to offend in order to maximize profitability. Peerless Cucumber might be a pain in the ass, but he's a pain in the ass who picked up on the story that Airplane himself originally intended to tell, and wanted PIDW to actually be that. Which has gotta be kind of gratifying, in a roundabout way.

I think it would stress Airplane out to have someone approve of the things he himself didn't even approve of. Like on the one hand this guy seems to have only a good opinion of him, but on the other hand it's based entirely on a false impression and Airplane actually agrees way more with Cucumber's assessment of his writing, because he wrote it badly on purpose. Since the guy has a good opinion, that's something Airplane can potentially lose, and he'd be most likely to lose it by revealing the truth about his own creative intentions and his actual tastes and inclinations. A ticking time bomb of disapproval that could go off at any moment to who-knows-what effect.

He'd hate it. Eventually every time User No.3 came around he'd just be like:

[ID: A gif of Skeletor from Masters of the Universe gliding through a blue magical barrier and then reaching back to punch and shatter it. End ID]