#which is also a bit after juice 4

[apple-cores]

Somsnosa and Instar, with their appearance around hylics 2, and appearance x years into the future [scanned 2021, with new color]

also 3 year twinniversary

[wavesmp3]

young & stupid

yoon jeonghan x reader (gender neutral)

you think yoon jeonghan is crazy when he asks if you'll pretend to date him, but luckily for him you're just young and dumb enough to agree.

genre: university + fake dating au word count: 14k warnings: alcohol, profanity, some explicit content, mentions of sex, and a very american writer who says soccer instead of football a/n: posted an unfinished version of this like 4 years ago and randomly decided one day a couple weeks ago to finish it. this is the most indulgent fic i have ever written. pls enjoy my birthday gift to myself lolol

Music bursts from every corner of the run-down frat house, chasing after you no matter where you run to escape it. Bodies endlessly spill in from the patio and front entrance, a never ending revolving door of college kids just like yourself looking for some kind of release after a long week of… well, college. But unlike most times you’ve paid a visit to Soonyoung’s frat house on a Friday night, tonight you’ve already decided that you are not going to be having fun at this party.

Soonyoung begged you to come, bribing your appearance with a promise to study with you for the next math quiz. Of course the first thing he does after walking into the house with you is ditch you. But even that, you deal with. You find some friends among the crowd, acquaint yourself with some beer, and almost start to have fun egging on a brewing dance battle. But all that ends the second you turn a corner too fast and are met with a full cup of bright red jungle juice all over your white shirt.

So now, upstairs in a bathroom Soonyoung let you in to, desperately trying to wash out the stains, you make a stubborn decision to not make another appearance at a frat party for the rest of the semester which you’re positive you’ll break by the time midterms are up.

But for now, helplessly staring at your reflection in the dirty mirror, you arrive to the conclusion that this damn jungle juice stain is not coming out. You exit the bathroom into the adjoining room and start grabbing your stuff to walk home.

“Who the fuck are you?” You jump at the voice that’s joined you in the room. You hadn’t even noticed anyone entering. You stare at the figure, mouth open. “How’d you get into my room?”

“Oh my gosh, so sorry,” you apologize in a hurried voice, packing your things up impossibly faster. “Soonyoung let me in. It was just supposed to be a quick thing–Wait no, that makes it sound like we were hooking up. Which we definitely were not. I can promise you that much, lol, not Soonyoung. But no, I just needed the bathroom. Cause this dude and his jungle juice, and…” you look down at your shirt. “Anyways, I was about to go home. I didn’t even–”

“Okay, wait, slow down.” The guy cuts you off. “You know Soonyoung.”

You nod. “Uh, yeah, we’re friends.”

He steps closer, narrowing his eyes at you, and for a moment you think the guy looks a little bit familiar. “And you’re not a stalker?”

This time you squint, jutting your head forward. “A stalker?” He stares at you unwavering. You scoff. “Um. No. Of course not.”

“Oh, okay, good.” He exhales, his previous demeanor falling entirely. “Well, in that case, let me help.” He walks towards one of the dressers, pulling the drawer open to rummage through it.

“No. That’s okay. You don’t have to–”

“Let me. Plus,” he gestures towards the general direction of your shirt without looking up from the drawer, “that can’t be comfortable. And it definitely isn’t flattering.”

You’re too stunned to say anything back. You’re not sure how you’d respond anyways to what you think counts as an insult from the dude who’s also helping you. You study him instead. You’ve definitely seen him around before, but you’re not entirely sure where or when because you probably would’ve remembered someone as attractive as him. He’s tall, soft-faced with longer hair that cuts off right under his ears, and damn is he attractive. In an obvious—in your face, weak in the knees, god this man is beautiful—kind of way. Not that you notice.

“Here.” He throws a tshirt your way, and you catch it between your arms. You both stare at each for a long moment, until he jumps on his heels a little as if he’s suddenly remembered something. “My bad, I’ll turn around.”

You stare unamused at his backside. He really doesn’t think you’re going to change with him in the room does he?

And almost as if he’s reading your mind, he says: “Don’t worry, I won’t peek.” He looks over his shoulder with a crooked, mischievous smile. “I mean unless you want me to.” Your stomach throws itself out the window.

You scoff. “I’ll just change in the bathroom.” You fully expect the guy to be gone by the time you exit the bathroom, but instead he’s still there, sitting at the edge of the bed on his phone.

You clear your throat. “Thanks for the shirt.”

“Oh, yeah,” he looks up from his phone and takes you in. You swear his mouth twitches into a half smile. “It’s no big deal.

You let out an awkward half laugh, half sigh. “So, I’ll get this shirt back to you somehow. Thanks again.”

He nods, still staring at the air around your body with that sickeningly charming half smile. You turn for the door.

“Wait!” You pause, facing the boy again who is now standing up, arm stretched out towards you. He drops it at once like it was never supposed to be there. “Are you going back to the party?”

You actually laugh at that. “God, no. I’m going home.”

“Oh.” He tilts his head, and then opens and closes his mouth as if the words keep getting lost in the back of his throat. You try not to think too hard about how endearing the action is. “I can give you a ride if you want.”

You shake your head quickly. “No, that’s alright. I don’t live that far.” You live on the opposite side of campus.

He grabs a set of keys off his desk. “Let me. I wanna get out of this party too. But sadly,” he motions to the room you’re both standing in, then leans towards you a little, “I live here.”

And you know you should refuse. You know there is nothing sensical about letting this stranger, whose name you don’t even know, take you home. But there’s something about his smile and the tufts of hair falling over his forehead, something about the way he gave you his shirt that makes you say yes against your better judgment.

It turns out, leaving the party with the mysteriously nice guy, who’s conveniently hot (again, not that you’re looking), is much harder than it looks. The only plus side to getting bombarded with people wanting to talk to him, is that you learn his name: Jeonghan. And it hits you then, of course you’ve seen him around before. Well, maybe not him, but you’ve definitely seen his picture. His face is plastered over all of the university’s promotional material. Half the school has a crush on Jeonghan, the star soccer player. Unfortunately for you and your apparently impossible wish to go home, it also appears that half the school is at this party and fueled with liquid confidence.

“Hey Jeonghan,” one person in particular slurs, appearing in front of you and him magically. Yeah, you think, if I were him I’d want to get out of this party too. Then as if the stranger has come to their senses, they jump back and clasp their hands over their mouth. A blush paints itself all over their face. “So sorry. I must’ve tripped or something…” they laugh awkwardly. Jeonghan does too. You look over at him and find that he looks incredibly uncomfortable.

“It’s fine,” he tells them, holding his hands up, “I gotta go. See you around though.” And Jeonghan’s turning on his heel ready to dash for the door.

“Wait a second!” The person calls, grabbing Jeonghan’s arm before he can slip out of the house. He turns back around begrudgingly. “I was uh I was sort of wondering if you’d like to maybe go out or something—“

You watch them ask out Jeonghan on a date, and well, it’s sort of cute. The stranger clearly harbors a massive crush on Jeonghan. They’re not being rude or pushy, and honestly, even after accounting for the alcohol, they’re more confident and bold than you’d be. You find yourself wanting to congratulate them. But then, with another look at Jeonghan’s face, you feel a burst of pity. You know that look. Jeonghan is going to turn them down.

“I, uh, I’m really flattered but I…” Jeonghan stutters through his words, shooting you a glance asking for help. You just shrug. Suddenly his smirk reappears. He grabs your hand, pulling you to his slide and lifting your joined hands up like a trophy. “I’m actually with them.”

Your teeth clench immediately to keep your mouth from falling open. You stare at Jeonghan, eyes screaming.

“Oh sorry,” the person looks between the two of you, “I didn’t know.”

You stare at Jeonghan, waiting for him to say something and failing to find any words for yourself. But instead of continuing his lie verbally, he decides to act it out even further, bringing your hands up to his lips and pressing the faintest kiss to your knuckle.

That fucker.

“Yeah,” you sigh, grasping at straws for something to say that sounds convincing with your one free hand. “It’s new.” You squeeze Jeonghan’s hand hard enough to know it has to have hurt and promptly drag him out of the house.

Once you’re in his car, safe from all his suitors. You round on him. “You couldn’t have just said no?”

“That was their third time asking me out.”

“And?”

“Turning down people is hard.” He whines, pushing the keys in the car and starting the ignition. “It was just easier to say we’re dating. Plus, you’re in my shirt so it already looks like we just had sex.”

“Or,” you gasp, exasperated, “it looks like I got jungle juice on my shirt, and you just gave me one to wear!”

He gives you a look. “Now, who would believe that?”

You have the sudden desire to dissolve into the seat.

“Anyways,” he says, putting the car in reverse, “where to?”

“East campus. The Austin Complex.”

He makes a triumphant noise while stopping at a red light. “It appears I’m not the only one that’s been telling lies tonight. Not that far you said.”

You gape at him. “My lie is not comparable to yours.”

“Actually I think it is.” He taps a finger to his chin. “In fact, I think it even makes us equal.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

He holds out his pinky as a peace offering. “I’m not moving until you agree.”

“Jeonghan, the light’s green.”

He glances at the green traffic light and proceeds to turn his hazards on in the middle of the fucking road all while keeping his pinky in the exact same spot.

“Are you crazy?”

“Most people don’t think so.”

“People will honk.”

“It’s 1 am.”

You say his name. He says yours. The light turns yellow, and you feel a rush of warmth.

“Fine.” You huff, joining your pinky with his. “We’re equal.”

He passes the light just as it turns red.

—

You haven’t seen Jeonghan since the entire incident. In truth, you’ve been so busy studying for your math quiz with Soonyoung that you almost hadn’t even thought about that night again. Emphasis on almost. However, when you get your score back the following week, the hours you spent studying appear to have been wasted. You slump into a bench outside the lecture hall, holding another barely passing grade to your chest.

And in the midst of your public wallowing, you feel a flick to your forehead.

You yelp and snap your eyes open to Jeonghan who stands before you snickering. “What was that for?”

“Payback.”

You say holding out your pinky as a reminder. “I thought we were even.” He shrugs, sporting a smirk that makes your stomach churn. It should be illegal for someone to look that good with a smirk.

“Excuse me?”

Fuck. Did you say that outloud?

“Nothing.” You quickly mutter, shaking your head. He invites himself to sit down next to you.

“Anyway, what’s wrong with you?”

You groan at the reminder. “Multi.”

“Multivariable calculus?” He asks to which you nod. “Who do you have?”

“Lubinsky.”

Defying all laws of reason and physics, Jeonghan perks up a bit. “Oh, I loved him.”

“His quizzes are impossible.”

“Yeah, but he’s funny.”

You scrunch your noise. “When did you even take multi? Aren’t you a business major?”

He tilts his head at you. “How do you know my major?” You might’ve asked Soonyoung about Jeonghan during one of your study sessions, but you definitely weren’t about to admit that now. Luckily for you, he continues without an answer. “I switched majors last year.”

“Then you must know how much I despise sketching in three axes.” You complain, throwing your head back against the wall.

“Just wait until you get to finding extrema.” Jeonghan hums. You want to shove your head through the damn wall just from the sound of it.

“May my grade rest in peace in that case,” you mutter, fishing through your bag. “Here’s your shirt back.”

He takes it. “So people kind of think we’re dating after the party.”

You can’t help it. You laugh at the look on his face. “Yeah, what did you expect when you said we were together?” He doesn’t say anything. “Don’t worry. I’ll clear the air.”

He furrows his brows at you. “What? No. That’s not what I mean. I…” he hesitates, scratching an area behind his neck. “Well, this past week has been surprisingly calm for me. Not a ton of confessions.” (“Oh, poor Jeonghan,” you murmur.) He looks at you hopefully, “So, I was thinking we keep up the charade.”

You make a noise. “Like fake dating?”

“Yes.”

“Haha, very funny.”

“No, seriously.” He says earnestly. You don’t say anything for a moment just staring at him flabbergasted. He softens, giving you a very soft, “please,” paired with big, brown, pleading eyes.

Goddamn it–those eyes.

You turn your body towards him. “What do I get out of it?”

“I’ll tutor you.” He says, pointing to your quiz grade. You flip the paper upside down. “I got an A in multi.”

“No one makes an A with Lubinsky.”

“Which is exactly why you want me as your tutor.”

You think about it for a moment longer, and, well…

Fake dating Yoon Jeonghan can’t be the worst thing in the world.

—

As you find out during your first session, Jeonghan is not what you’d call a ‘chill’ tutor. You’re both sitting in a far corner of the library, notes splayed out all over the table.

“Do it again.”

“Jeonghan please, we’ve been finding directional derivatives and unit normal vectors for so long now. Let’s take a break.”

He points to your worksheet. “One more.”

“That’s what you said last time.”

“I thought you wanted an A.”

“You know, a C isn’t sounding so bad right now.”

“Just do it.”

You groan and set up another integral.

To your complete and utter shock, you’re able to solve the problem all on your own. No clarifying questions to Jeonghan. No flipping through your lecture notes. Just you and the answer.

Jeonghan checks it over, eyes darting between your notebook and his laptop. He pauses for a minute, finger lingering by your boxed, final answer, before very quietly saying, “look at that.” He looks up to you, eyes widened and lips pursed together in a pleasant surprise.

You can barely contain yourself. “It’s right?”

“Well,” he draws out the word, sitting back in his chair and erasing his previous expression. “You still rounded wrong at this step—“

You throw your pencil down. “I’M RIGHT!”

Which unsurprisingly earns you a couple dirty looks from others.

He snickers at your excitement, offering you silent applause at the achievement.

“So can we take a break now?”

He looks at you for a long moment. You stare at him back, shaking your shoulders as if that would convince him of a break. He smiles. “Okay, fine, but only for ten minutes.”

You end up taking it on the roof of the library building, eating an assortment of snacks that you bought from the vending machine and Jeonghan brought from home.

“So, tell me,” you start, grabbing a chip from the bag, “the confessions can’t really be that bad, can they?”

“How do you mean?”

“I mean,” you sit up in your chair, stretching out your back, “enough for you to spend your Thursday afternoon doing all this?”

“Ah.” He exhales, sitting down further in his seat and popping a grape in his mouth. “Well, I like to teach.”

“And what about the whole fake dating ruse?”

He shrugs. “It’s easier than being the asshole that says no.”

You lean forward, squinting at him. “I don’t believe that.”

He cocks his head. “No?”

You shake yours. “No.”

“What about you then?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest. “How come I know nothing about you?”

“How come you haven’t asked?”

He swipes his tongue over his lips briefly, sizing your question up. Quietly, he says, “Touche.” Then leads forward in his seat and asks if you have an ex.

You steal a grape. “Not an official one.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that there was this guy before university, and we were…” you push the grape in your mouth, letting the burst of it give you time to find the right words. They never come. “We were something,” you settle on, “but he just ended up being more trouble than he was worth. Ask Soonyoung. He’s always hated the guy’s guts.”

“I can’t imagine Soonyoung hating anyone.” Jeonghan muses, pushing the tupperware of grapes towards you.

“Yeah, well, Soonyoung hated people who treated others like they were disposable.”

“So why’d you date him then?”

For a moment, you’re taken aback by the question. Replaying the words over and over in your mind looking for a hint of mockery or judgment. You don’t find any. Instead, you find his brows knitted together, and his lips pushed to the side of this mouth. The question is genuine. A wholehearted curiosity that feels so misplaced coming from the guy who has suitors falling at his feet at least once a day. It’s an innocent kind of curiosity that isn’t trying to pry; it’s only trying to understand. And that thought, the very idea that Jeonghan might actually be trying to get to know you, makes your entire body inexplicably shiver.

The curiosity in his voice bends over and touches yours. “What? You’ve never been young and stupid before?”

He shakes his head. “I was so focused on school and soccer when I was younger. I feel like I never gave myself the chance to just do dumb things, date shitty people, etc. etc.”

Gravely, you say. “It’s really not that exciting.”

He laughs. “I know.” His voice dips. “I just wish I had figured that out myself.”

Jeonghan doesn’t meet your eyes when he says it, but he makes this face, this sad-eyed, forced smile face that makes him look so suddenly vulnerable. Like you could tap his shoulder and watch him unravel from head to toe. You feel a rush of pity in the middle of your chest, a quiet urge to reach over and give him all the teenage regrets he never got to have. Instead, you lean towards him and say, “You’re still young. You can still do dumb things. Date shitty people.”

His eyes flit up to you. You notice what a beautiful shade of brown they are. How big they are. How sincerely sad they look. (And you know, somewhere, in a very far corner of your mind, that those eyes will be the ultimate death of you.)

“Well, I don’t know about that last part.” He starts, rubbing his hands against his jeans. “Technically, I’m dating you.”

You place your palm on your chest. “And I swear to be the shittiest fake partner you’ll ever have.”

He smiles. The sun emerges from behind a cloud. And his eyes–you swear to god–they glimmer.

—

You and Jeonghan’s first outing as an official fake couple is back at the frat house. To your surprise Jeonghan stays by your side the entire time. He takes you around the house, gets you a drink, and introduces you to his friends, but you’re quick to shoot down any shock because what else would a fake boyfriend be doing at a party. Although it’s not as easy to calm down the beating of your heart when Jeonghan’s hand finds its way into yours at some point in the night. By the time the party is in full swing, people bursting from every open door and window in the house, you’re already a little tipsy.

You’re getting a refill for your nearly done drink when another girl appears in front of Jeonghan. From the way she’s twirling her hair between her fingers and leaning into one hip, you can tell that, at least from her end, it’s more than just a friendly conversation. But even that doesn’t really explain what makes you act the way you do. Maybe it’s the alcohol, you reason. Or maybe the fact that Jeonghan’s popularity is just as contagious as the rest of him. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s that you’ve gotten a little too invested in this whole fake dating act. Either way, you swallow reason with the last of your drink, strut up to the both of them, and latch yourself to Jeonghan’s side, letting your arm wrap around his. You give the girl a snotty ‘sorry, he’s taken’ before dragging Jeonghan away, giggling into your palm with no intention to return. When you look back at Jeonghan, you find him looking quite amused as well.

“That was good!” He tells you by the time you’re both in the hallway. “But you know what would really seal the deal?”

You’re excited. Fake dating is fun. “What?”

“If we kissed?”

“Oh, please.” Your eyes do a drunken loop de loop. “I’m gonna go get my refill.”

“No, seriously.” He says with a look you can’t quite comprehend. “Look. She’s still watching.”

You look beyond his shoulder and sure enough, the girl is still watching you and him in the hallway. And she looks pissed. Maybe Jeonghan wasn’t that far off with the stalker accusation.

“You see what I have to deal with. Just one kiss. We probably won’t even have to do it again after this.”

“Probably?” You echo.

“Well, yeah, I can’t make any promises.” He shrugs except that you barely hear the words because you’re too focused on taking a tiny step back each time he takes a tiny step towards you. Eventually, the charade ends. Your heel and head meet the wall. His knee meets yours.

You’re painfully aware of your own breathing when you say, “When I said to be young and stupid this is not what I meant.”

He giggles in your face. You can smell the vodka on his breath. Is he drunk? Are you?

“Who’s going to believe we’re dating if we never kiss?”

And well, you can’t really argue with that logic. “Fine, but keep it short.”

He cocks his head to the side. “Do I look like the kind of guy to keep a kiss short?” You snort at that, and when he takes yet another step closer to you, your hands instinctively fly up against his chest. He tangles his fingers between yours and pulls your hands down, resting his forehead against yours. “Hey,” he says except that he’s so close it’s more like he exhales the word and inhales you, “can I kiss you now?”

He lets go of your hands, as if he’s making sure you know you have an out. Your eyes flit up to his, only to find that he’s watching your lips.

“Oh, fuck it,” is what you say before you fist his shirt and pull him in so that his lips meet yours.

And the moment you do all of your previous precautions are thrown out the window because—dang how long has it been since you’ve kissed someone?

Somewhere along the kiss, you lose yourself in the sensation of it, tugging on Jeonghan’s shirt. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you in until your bodies are flush against each other. And when he slips his tongue into your mouth you tell yourself you allow it to happen because you’re tipsy or touch starved or both. Although none of those excuses explain why your arms snake around his neck and why your entire body turns to jelly when he moans in your mouth.

“Hey lovebirds,” you hear Soonyoung yell from somewhere thousands and thousands lightyears away, somewhere so far away you barely hear it, “get a room.” You both pull away from the kiss, faces only moving a tiny bit apart. Neither of you try to remove yourselves from the other's arms. He smiles, wide enough that his cheek brushes up against your nose, and it makes you forget where you are. Your ears betray you. You let yourself think he’s talking about the kiss and not the charade when he says, “Thanks for that.”

You throw caution to the window, laughing freely against his face. “Asshole. You knew I wouldn’t say no.”

He steps back, pulling away from your embrace. “Yeah,” he mutters, looking back to the main room, “that should do it.” You follow his eyes to see the girl from earlier whispering to a friend while sneaking glances at you two. You’re reminded of the whole reason you and Jeonghan were kissing in the first place.

He points to your cup. “Shot?”

You laugh—or well at least you try to—but it gets caught in your throat and distorted into a small cough. You swallow. “Yes.”

—

Thankfully, things aren’t awkward between you and Jeonghan after the party, although there’s no real reason for there to be other than the fact that you agreed to fake date him without really thinking about what else it would implicate. In fact, things are sort of easy with Jeonghan. He finds you around campus more often, and you find him too, walking each other to class and grabbing coffee when you both have a spare moment. In the midst of getting a fake boyfriend, you also get a new friend. With Jeonghan’s help, you actually start understanding math enough to complete the homework without having to flip back to the textbook every question. And it’s not too long after the party that you’re planning your next outing as a couple.

—

The stands of the field are absolutely packed with people. You had no idea soccer games rallied this much interest at your school.

“We’re playing a top ranked school apparently,” Soonyoung reads off a sign as you both make your way towards the student section. Luckily, he knows as little about the sport as you do. “So, why exactly did you agree to fake date Jeonghan?”

“He’s tutoring me in multi.” You explain to him, scanning the stands. While walking over to the game, you had told Soonyoung about the whole act, confirming what he already started to suspect when you first suggested going to the soccer game together. (“Drunken makeout I get.” Soonyoung had said. “But going to his games seemed like a stretch.” You shoved him off the sidewalk.)

“At least you’re getting something out of it.” He snorts. “Who are we looking for?”

You show him the text from Jeonghan, telling you to sit with his friend. “Do you know him?”

Soonyoung looks into the crowd. “Him?” He asks, pointing to a guy waving you and him over. You inhale sharply, waving back. “So if it’s fake, why is Jeonghan having you meet his friends?” Soonyoung asks as you head over.

“He has his reasons.” You offer, having asked a similar question yourself. You reach the stand where his friend is seated, crossing past the others in the row and gently apologizing as you bump into dozens of knees.

“Hi, I’m Joshua.” Jeonghan’s friend introduces himself as you and Soonyoung take your seats. You return the greeting, introducing yourself to him. Looking around the student section, you notice everyone else dressed in school merchandise. “Was I supposed to wear school colors for this?”

Soonyoung gives you a long look. Then just laughs in your face.

“Asshole.” You grumble quietly. “Could’ve said something.”

Joshua laughs as well, although much less in-your-face than Soonyoung’s. “I’m surprised Jeonghan didn’t give you like a jersey to wear or something.”

You had meant the asshole in question to be Soonyoung, not Jeonghan, but you don’t really have the heart to correct him. Instead, while waiting for the game to start, you ask, “How do you know Jeonghan?”

“Oh, we met freshman year. We both rushed the frat together, but I dropped after one semester.” Soonyoung pops in then, telling Joshua about when he rushed, and the two boys talk about other people they both mutually know. As one does.

They run out of people after a person named Jihoon. Joshua turns back to you. “How did you and Jeonghan meet? I haven’t even gotten the full story yet.”

“We met through Soonyoung, technically, I guess. At the house during a party. Soonyoung let me into his bathroom.”

Joshua nods, and with a playful lilt adds, “not a stalker, are you?”

You click your tongue against the roof of your mouth and turn back to Soonyoung on the other side of you. “I hope you know I’m never beating the stalker allegations because of you.”

Soonyoung smiles smugly at you.

“No, I’m kidding,” Joshua says through a laugh hidden behind his palm. “I just know how paranoid Jeonghan is about that stuff now.”

The wording pokes at a corner of your mind. “Now?”

Joshua nods, solemnly almost. “He actually had one last year. Didn’t end up being anything seriously endangering luckily. But he barely left his dorm for the rest of the semester after all was said and done.”

You think back to your conversation with Jeonghan on the roof of the library. You feel a familiar pang of pity bloom in your chest. He never got to just be young. Outloud, you hear yourself saying, “stupid.”

Joshua leans towards you. “What?”

You wave it off, and the crowd erupts into cheer. Everybody starts standing up, yelling and jumping and whooping. You hesitate for too long obviously. Soonyoung pulls you up by your arm. You see the team rush the field and the crowd gets impossibly louder. You look for Jeonghan among the players scanning each of them until you find him towards the left side of the field, warming up or something. You’re not really sure. Either way, you hear yourself start cheering when you find him, hands cupping around your mouth. The game starts soon enough with Joshua explaining to you and Soonyoung which position Jeonghan plays and what the hell is happening each time a player receives a card. After the first 15 minutes, you actually get a pretty good understanding of the whole thing.

The first half comes to a close with the opposing team up by one goal and Jeonghan’s team looking exhausted and dispirited.

“Hey, I gotta head out.” Soonyoung tells you once everything has settled down for halftime. “Still have to finish that chem lab due tonight.”

You grimace at the reminder of the report. “Good luck. It took me 5 hours.”

He gives you a miserable thumbs up. Then, turns his attention to Joshua. “It was nice to meet you.”

Joshua returns the sentiment. “I’ll see you at Tim’s once you’re done with the report though, right?”

Soonyoung’s lips turn to a fine line. “I, well, it’s a funny story but uh…”

“He’s banned from Tim’s.” You finish for him.

Joshua does not hide his shock. Soonyoung just shrugs and walks off. Joshua turns to you, exasperated. “But it’s the only bar in town.”

You inhale, “And Soonyoung is the type to get impulsively banned from it for the rest of college.” The answer doesn’t seem to do much of anything for Joshua’s profound confusion. “What’s at Tim’s tonight?”

“Oh, the team always goes there after games. They normally invite some friends too. Whoever can make it out basically.” You nod at his explanation, watching as people leave the stands then return, holding steaming, paper cartons of food. God, that smells good. You crane your neck to see. Are those corn dogs? “Did Jeonghan not tell you about it?”

“What?” He pulls you out of a trance of your own. “Oh, yeah, yeah. I think he mentioned it. I probably just forgot.”

Joshua chuckles politely. “So are you coming?”

Oh crap. “Uh, well…” A million lies run through your mind, chasing past one another, zigzagging in your brain. You have homework. You have other plans. You and Jeonghan aren’t even actually dating. Well—a million lies and one truth you guess. Either way, they all fizzle to nothing. Jeonghan didn’t tell you about the tradition at Tim’s. He probably doesn’t even want you there. So what the hell are you supposed to tell his best friend?

Luckily, you never have to figure that out. Fanfare erupts through the crowd, the announcer sounds throughout the entire field. “Oh the game’s restarting,” you mutter. Joshua is either genuinely disinterested in your response or just polite enough to not ask about it again. You have a crummy feeling it’s the latter.

The second half of the game is much more intense than the first. Your school’s team comes out blazing, scoring a goal in the first ten minutes in an insane effort led by the player with a 7 on his back. And the crowd, you included, absolutely lose their shit. You’re jumping up and down on the stands, screaming at the top of your lungs, voice lost among the rest. The team rushes to the right corner of the field closest to the student section, colliding in hugs and jumps and screaming maybe even louder than the hundreds of you in the stands. You watch Jeonghan in the celebration, hair matted down with sweat, mouth ajar in a soundless cheer, embracing a teammate before ditching him to literally jump on top of another. Your yells turn to laughs. And before you know it, the game is back on, all players racing across the field in a mad dash. The ball goes flying. Penalty cards flying to nearly every player at least once. The entire student section is at the edge of their seats. Time seems to fly by with unified chants filling your ears and throat. There’s only 10 minutes left. The game is still in a tie, and you really don’t feel like sitting here for the extra time. Then, someone starts singing the school’s fight song. Eventually, the whole section is singing it. You included. It ignites something in the team.

The opposing team has the ball, dribbling it across the field and passing it back and forth. Out of nowhere, one of your school’s players appears right next to the opponent with the ball. He kicks the ball out from under the other player, taking him and the rest of the stands by surprise. The ball rolls from under his knees to another of your school’s players. Jeonghan’s teammate is in action immediately, sprinting away with the ball to the opposite side of the field, feet flying faster than your mind can even comprehend. And just as one of the opposing team’s members closes in on him, he punts the ball in the air and it flies and flies and flies. Your heart lurches. There’s no mistaking it–the ball is aimed for Jeonghan. 7 minutes left. Jeonghan receives the ball perfectly, immediately racing away with it towards the goal. An opponent chases after him, forcing him to head nearer and nearer to the touchlines. It all happens so fast. The other player kicks his feet out to steal the ball. Jeonghan crosses the ball over to another teammate. The teammate receives it with his head. He dribbles it forward for half a second and then shoots. Time nearly stops when he does. The goalie throws their entire body to block the ball, and every present body watches, stupefied, as the ball blows right past the goalie’s head and lands squarely within the goal.

And if you thought the previous goal’s celebration was loud, this one’s is deafening. The entire stadium roars in pride. Your school won. Jeonghan won. And you can’t stop fucking smiling.

—

Joshua convinces you to wait for Jeonghan and the rest of the team at Tim’s with him. You do. For matters of fake dating but also because you could really use a beer. Conversation with Joshua is fun and light. By the time you’re both on your second round, his politeness dims to tease you for your drink of choice. You see now why he’s one of Jeonghan’s closest friends.

There’s commotion towards the entrance. You turn your heads towards it and watch Jeonghan’s team rumble through the tiny door, yelling at god knows what and rushing to the bar.

Joshua stands to go say hi. You follow him, walking slightly behind. Jeonghan finds you before you both find him. He tackles Joshua first, hugging him from the side, and literally ‘whooping’ into his ear. Joshua smacks at his face at first, but eventually joins him in the repeated ‘whooping’ jumping up and down in celebration. Then Jeonghan sees you. The whooping fades. He stares.

You swallow.

“Yah!” He exclaims, releasing Joshua and pointing a finger at your shirt. “I thought I told you to wear the jersey I gave you.”

Your face drops. Whatever happened to ‘hi’, ‘hello’, ‘how are you’?

Joshua says something about the bathroom and walks to the back of the bar.

You shake your head at the remaining boy. “It’s a little bit concerning how good you are at lying, you know.”

“Well, we can’t have people suspecting us.” He retorts, stepping closer to you as someone passes behind him.

“Is it okay that I’m here?” You ask, quiet enough for no one else to hear, face scrunching. “I didn’t know what to say to Joshua earlier, but I can definitely make up a lie if you want to just–”

“Are you kidding?” He grabs you by the shoulders, shaking you back and forth. “I want you here! We have to celebrate. This was the biggest game of the season, and we won it!” Then, with that same crooked smile you noticed upon first meeting, he adds, “Plus, you’re not very good at lying.”

You scoff. “Even now, you have the capacity for assholery.”

His eyebrows zip together. “I don’t think that’s a word.”

“It could be.”

Someone pats Jeonghan on the back, handing him a drink. Jeonghan asks what it is. The other person tells him to just drink it. Jeonghan does so begrudgingly. You recognize the person to be player number 7.

“Hi, I’m Seungcheol,” number 7 says to you, holding out his hand. You shake it, introducing yourself and congratulating him on the game.

“Hey, is assholery a word?” Jeonghan asks his teammate, watching your face contort through a thousand different variations of annoyance and disbelief.

Seungcheol looks between the two of you. “Uh, no. Don’t think so.”

“Ha!” Jeonghan wags a finger in your face. “You owe me a drink.”

You narrow your eyes at him, but you head towards the bar with Jeonghan anyways, where you find Joshua again ordering the three of you a round of shots. “No, no,” he insists, when you try to tell him that you’re already buying drinks, “I owe Jeonghan a drink anyways.”

And as you find out throughout the course of the night, apparently every other patron at Tim’s owes Jeonghan a drink. You lose count of how many times you’ve heard him say so after your third beer. Joshua makes his exit soon after that and conveniently right before the team starts singing the fight song again. You start dreaming of bed when a guy you recognize as number 3 gets on a chair and starts leading the crowd.

Your phone buzzes.

Soonyoung [1:23 AM]: finished the report :0

Soonyoung [1:23 AM]: finally

Soonyoung [1:24 AM]: how’s tim’s

You [1:24 AM]: did you know they had a karaoke machine?

Soonyoung [1:25 AM]: do you not remember how i got banned in the first place

You [1:25 AM]: sore subject mb

You [1:27 AM]: damn how’d you finish the report so fast

You [1:27 AM]: you only started it after the game right

Soonyoung [1:28 AM]: u know me xD

An odd feeling settles in your stomach as they start the last stanza of the fight song. You shove your phone in your pocket and ask for the check.

By 2 am, the celebration is finally winding down, and the entire team is collectively too drunk to stand. “Come on, Jeonghan,” you pull him away as he says goodbye to his friends for the millionth time. “Let’s go home.”

He finally relents, turning away from his friends and throwing both his arms over your shoulders, hugging you from the back. “Let’s go to yours.”

“Mine? Why?”

“It’s closer.” Then after a moment, he bumps his chin against your shoulder and adds, “Plus, I wanna see your room.”

“Fine,” you huff and start walking. Jeonghan releases himself from your back, electing to walk on his own until you realize he’s too much of a wanderer to be unattached, drifting off to the edge of the sidewalk or in the wrong direction every chance he gets. He asks you to carry him. You settle for holding his hand. The two of you walk quietly back to your dorm. That is until Jeonghan starts humming the fight song again. You snap. “Is that the only song you guys know tonight?”

He stops humming and apologizes. You don’t say anything back. Then, very quietly, sounding so infuriatingly innocent, he says, “I didn’t mean to get this drunk.”

You’re an asshole. “No. It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m just a little… upset right now.”

He burps. “Because of me?”

The look on his face when he says it pulls a laugh from between your lips. “No. Not because of you.” You make a right onto your street, dragging Jeonghan along as he tries to take a left. “Anyway, I thought student athletes weren’t supposed to drink.”

“No, we’re not supposed to get caught drinking.” Jeonghan holds out his hand in front of him, as if to say ‘stop’ to something invisible to you. “Very different.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Either way, I don’t drink that much.”

You scoff, stopping in front of the door to your building. “What do you mean? You drank last weekend.”

He shakes his head. “That was a special occasion.”

“And the occasion was…?”

He looks you dead in the eye.

“You make me nervous.”

Then, he turns around and vomits into the bushes behind him.

Once you get him to your apartment and in your bathroom, you leave him to vomit out the alcohol. Returning after the retching sounds recede and you’ve changed into pjs. He’s seated on the floor beside the toilet, eyes closed and head resting against the wall. You sit on the other side. Thank god, you cleaned this bathroom yesterday. “How do you feel?” You ask him.

He inhales. “Much better now that I…” He gestures to the toilet.

“Here.” You hand him a glass of water.

He opens his eyes and takes it, drinking from it slowly. “Sorry I got so drunk.”

“You already apologized 30 times on the way up here.” You remind him.

“But I’m really sorry.”

“And I really don’t mind.”

He considers that for a long moment. “You sure?”

You lean forward. “I’m sure. More water?”

He shakes his head, wordlessly eyeing your pajama pants. You look down at your snoopy pants. You hadn’t thought too hard about your choice of bottoms when you changed. “Cute.” He mutters, smiling at them.

You mumble back a ‘thanks’.

“So, what’d you think of the game?”

You tell him honestly how much fun you had watching them play, giving him every reaction you had to every move made and all your unfiltered opinions on the refs. He listens intently, filling you in on all the thoughts that ran through his head while they were playing and every conversation that happened on the sidelines.

“Thanks for coming.” He tells you once you’ve both exhausted all opinions relating to the game itself. “And for meeting Joshua and coming out to Tim’s afterwards and then getting me out of Tim’s too.”

“Jeonghan, it’s really not that big of a deal. And Joshua was a lot of fun to hang out with.”

“Hey, don’t get too attached.” He warns. “I’m the one you’re fake dating.”

“Trust me, I know.”

“So, then, as your fake boyfriend,” he gulps down the last of the water, “are you going to tell me what you were so upset about?”

You exhale, flexing your fingers. “It’s stupid.”

“And here I was thinking we had made a pact to be young and dumb.” You run your tongue over your top row of teeth, holding back a smile. “So, what happened?”

“I just got this text from Soonyoung that he finished this one assignment. And, I don’t know, I just felt so ridiculous because it took me so much longer than him to do.”

“Which assignment? The chem lab?”

You don’t remember telling Jeonghan about it. “Uh, yeah. How did you–”

“Man, who cares if it took you longer? I know Soonyoung, and I know you, and I bet yours is a million times better than his. No offense to Soonyoung, but I’m pretty sure he’d agree anyways.”

“Okay, you’re drunk.”

“That may be true, but it has nothing to do with the fact that you’re brilliant.”

Something about the way he says it, how steady his voice is maybe or the way he refuses to look away, forces you to see how much he believes it. But even that, doesn’t do much to change what you think.

“What are you talking about? I wouldn’t even be passing multi if it weren’t for you.” Your voice cracks as you say the words, making it all come out sounding much sadder than you had intended it to. You hope he doesn’t notice.

“That’s really not true.” You can’t even trust yourself to respond to him. He pouts. “Are you upset again?”

“A little.”

“I’m sorry. Let’s drop it.”

“Gladly.” Then, after a moment, you laugh at how silly it all is.

“First fight of the relationship.” He gives you your second half smile of the night. “I think we should hug it out.”

Your body reacts to the words before you do. “I disagree–”

“Did you just cringe?”

“–you smell like vomit.”

“Well, do you have clothes for me?”

“No, but I have a couch.”

He holds his index finger up. “I’ll take it.”

—

(When you wake up the next morning, Jeonghan’s gone. You open your phone and find 2 more apologies and 3 more thank you’s from him.

You try to ignore the twinge of disappointment.)

—

When the third weekend of fake dating rolls around, you admittedly are a bit tired of going to parties and getting drunk. So when Jeonghan asks what the plans are, you suggest he say that he’s taking you out on a date instead.

As such, you’ve spent nearly the entire day in bed. You’re heating up some water on the stove to make ramen when you get a text from Jeonghan saying he’s five minutes away. You stare at the text. The fuck does that mean?

Unsurprisingly, it ends up meaning that he was literally five minutes away. You open the door when he knocks and stare at him standing in the doorway.

“What are you wearing?” Is the first thing he says. You look down at your outfit. “You should’ve told me this was going to be a sweats kind of date before I put real clothes on.”

“Date?”

“Don’t look so surprised, it was your idea.” Jeonghan reminds you, strutting into your kitchen.

“No, no.” You say, returning to your boiling water. “My idea was to tell people we’re going on a date. Like as a cover.”

“Oh.” He falls down onto your couch. “Well I’m here so get dressed there’s this new ramen place I wanna try.”

You sigh, turning the stovetop off before trudging to your room to change.

The ‘date’ ends up being quite nice. You discuss a study plan to prepare for your math midterm over a much yummier bowl of ramen than you had planned on consuming today. Afterwards, you walk the streets of downtown, only intending to window shop. However, now, standing in a small boutique, Jeonghan tries to convince you to buy matching necklaces.

“Come on, they’re so cute.”

“We don’t need matching necklaces, Jeonghan.”

“A real couple would definitely have matching necklaces.”

“Good thing we’re not one.”

“Fine then. Guess I’ll just stop tutoring you in math too. You know Lubinsky’s midterms are almost as hard as his finals, right?”

You grab two of the necklaces and turn to the cashier. “How much?” You swear you hear Jeonghan whoop from behind you.

—

“Hey,” Jeonghan whispers, “we’re here.” You open your eyes slowly, not even registering that you fell asleep on the ride back to campus after the date-but-not-date. “You drool when you sleep by the way.”

And that wakes you up. You wipe whatever drool is left on your mouth, muttering a small and embarrassed ‘shut up’.

“What are you doing for the rest of your day?” He asks as you gather your things from his car.

“Absolutely nothing. Today’s the last day to rot before midterm prep starts.” You tell him, looking for your wallet. “What about you?”

“Avoiding a mixer at the house tonight.” He reaches into the center console and hands you the leather slip.

You take the wallet gratefully. “Wanna join me? We can make some tea. Watch a movie.”

He puts the car in park. “I know just what we should watch.”

And that’s how you end up on your couch with Jeonghan, two emptied mugs sitting on the coffee table, blanket draped over your legs, and the worst movie you’ve seen to date playing in the background.

“Wow, this movie sucks ass.”

“This,” Jeonghan gestures passionately to the screen, “is cinema.” You clasp your hands together as if in prayer. He takes a double take at the motion. “What are you doing?”

“I’m thanking god that your major is business and not film.” He immediately smacks apart your hands. “Don’t lie.” You say gasping for air between laughs. “This movie is objectively not good.”

His tongue peeks out between his lips, you practically see the smiling begging to emerge on his face. “Okay, so it might not be all that it was hyped up to be, but–”

“Ha!” You point a finger in his face. “I knew you hated it.” He slumps into the couch, pulling the blanket up to his chin. “Do you want more tea?” You ask. He soundlessly nods, refusing to move his eyes from the tv screen.

You stand to make some, grabbing both mugs from the table. “So, do you not have a roommate?” Jeonghan questions, as you pour water from the kettle into the mugs.

You look to the second, empty room of your apartment style dorm. “Actually, no. There was supposed to be someone there, but they moved or dropped out at the start of the year and the school never filled the room.”

“Ah.” Jeonghan clicks, nodding as if finally putting together the last piece of a puzzle “So, that’s why you’re so friendless.”

You return to the couch with full mugs. “I am not friendless.” He makes a face. “Really. I have friends.”

“Other than Soonyoung?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, name them.” You kick him under the blanket. “Fine. You have friends.” (“I have friends.”) “But how come you never talk about hanging out with them?”

You exhale slowly, sinking further into the couch. “I just didn’t do too well in school last semester, so I promised myself I would focus on classes this time around. And, I don’t know, I guess I just got so caught up in that and haven’t really been making the time or effort for hangouts.”

He tilts his head. “You know, I feel like there’s a world where you can do well in school while also maintaining your friendships. I mean we see each other regularly.”

“That’s because half of the time we’re studying.”

He gives you a look. “You know what I mean.”

You sigh, considering his point. Maybe at one point you would have thought the same. Last semester you even tried to have it all–the friends, the social life, the grades. But in the end, you dropped the ball. You can’t afford to make those same mistakes. “I just don’t think that world exists for me.”

He finally looks away from the tv and gives his full attention to you. His eyes seem to linger on every turn in your face. Quietly, he says, “So that’s what it is.” He doesn’t offer an explanation immediately. Instead, his chest deflates in one long exhale, and you smother the voice in your head that’s begging you to ask for one. And there’s this conviction in his voice, this breathtaking finality, when he says, “When are you going to believe me when I say that you’re one of the smartest people I know?” that scares the living shit out of you.

He looks at you again, and you swear to god, his eyes fall right through your frame. You swallow. “What about you?”

His eyebrows raise. “What about me?”

“Who are your friends? How do you spend all your time apart from classes, soccer, the frat, tutoring me and–oh my god, nevermind, new question. Do you even sleep?”

He takes a sip from the tea. “Don’t forget the business honor society. I’ll be the treasurer next fall.”

You squint at him. “Why?”

And like it’s the simplest, most obvious thing in the world he says, “oh, well, they asked.”

Suddenly, you’re reminded of all the times you’ve seen him get asked out on dates followed by every time he’s failed to say no. “Jeonghan,” you turn to him, setting down your mug. (“oh, this is serious, okay.”) You ignore him. “Can you not say no to people?”

He blows a raspberry. “I can say no. Ask me something.”

“Uhhhh,” you rack your brain, “how about–let’s go to the beach next weekend.”

The closest beach is 5 hours away, and yet he has the audacity to say, “Wait, that sounds like fun though.”

“I thought you hated the ocean.”

“Yeah, but maybe it’d be fun with you.”

You shake your head, muttering how impossible he is. The end credits of the movie finally plays.

“I should head out.” Jeonghan says, removing himself from under the blanket. You nod, grabbing the mugs of tea and bringing them to the kitchen. He follows you to the door. You both exchange the usual ‘this was fun’, ‘let’s do it again’, ‘I’ll see you later’ that ends every hangout you’ve had in college. But then, unlike every other person you’ve held the door open for as they leave, after Jeonghan says his final goodbye, he gives you a peck on the lips.

Did that just happen?

Your fingers touch against your lips. Oh my god, it did.

He blinks. “Sorry. I, uh, I don’t know why I just,” he points to your lips, swallowing, “lol. We’re always pretending and then now. And you. Okay, well, anyways, I’ll leave.”

He turns and doesn’t look back. You hear a ‘bye’ sound from the hallway.

And it’s only by the time he’s probably halfway home that it hits: You’ve never seen Jeonghan flustered like that.

—

The first day of midterm prep is brutal. You spend the entire night in the library, studying for hours on end. And once an hour, on the dot it seems, you hear Jeonghan’s voice in your head. There’s a world where you can do well in school while also maintaining your friendships. That very night you text your friends, asking if they want to join you in one of the library study rooms you have booked every evening this week. They do, excited to hear from you again and for the gentle encouragement to get a head start on studying. You hate to admit that Jeonghan was right, but goddammit he was. You have a blast with your friends. You had barely even realized how long you’d gone without seeing them and how much you missed them. By the time your Thursday afternoon tutoring with Jeonghan comes back around, you’re still on track with the study plan you created over ramen, and you have exciting news for him.

“A birthday party?” Jeonghan says, voice carefully devoid of the disdain you must know he feels.

“Yeah, they heard through whoever that we’re dating, and now they all want you to come.”

“But a birthday party?” He repeats. This time not trying to hide anything.

“Oh come on. I went to the game for you.”

“Yeah, but the game was fun.”

“This will be fun too!” You say in what you hope is an encouraging way.

“Fine. But promise you won’t ditch me for your friends.”

“You’re so dramatic.” You mutter. “But yes, I promise.”

That Friday night Jeonghan meets you at your apartment and the two of you head over to the party together.

Halfway down the hallway to your friend’s apartment, Jeonghan suddenly halts. “Shit, should I have brought something?”

“Like what?”

“A gift? Wine? I don’t know.”

“Jeonghan, it’s a party. Don’t overthink it.” You tell him, opening the door to your friend’s apartment.

You step into her entryway and immediately feel like you’ve been transported into another world. The lights are all off save for some LED lights wrapped around the living room ceiling. An assortment of stacked red solo cups, yak-worthy bottles of vodka, and seltzers take over all available kitchen counter space. Some old pop song from an artist you know your friend loves plays loudly from the tv, reverberating through every pair of ears shoved into this tiny apartment. You inhale. The air reeks distinctly of college. You love it.

“Oh my god, there’s even people on the balcony.” Jeonghan whispers in your ears. You pivot your head around to look at him. He looks back at you, unassuming. “What?”

This entire scene is one you’re quite familiar with, having spent many nights just like this in previous semesters. But as you watch Jeonghan gape at the amount of people fitted into the kitchen alone, you figure he might not be as acquainted with this. “Yoon Jeonghan, is this your first apartment party?”

He cocks his head to the side. “Is it not yours?”

But before you can tell him all about the life you used to live before him, your friends find you attacking you with hugs and introducing themselves to Jeonghan.

Jenny, the birthday girl in question, sloppily points at both of you and says, “I’ve been drinking since noon. You need to catch up.”

After a minute of half-hearted protest, you oblige, heading over to the kitchen area. You grab two cups, handing Jeonghan one. “There’s soda over there if you’re not drinking tonight,” you tell him, pointing to the area beside the sink where a line of mixers await.

He looks over at the bottles, then looks back at you. “Are you drinking?”

“Yes!” Your friend Daniel yells from over the music. You just shrug, reaching for one of the handles. “I guess so.”

Jeonghan inhales sharply, holding out his cup for you to pour. “I’ll have what you’re having then.”

You hesitate, open bottle hovering over the lip of his cup. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Why?”

You frown. “I was thinking about what you said after the game about how you don’t drink that much, and I don’t want you to drink just because I am. I can not drink too.”

He pushes his cup up. “What was it you said earlier? It’s a party. Don’t overthink it.”

Then he gives you that crooked half smile that you’ve come to know so well. You pour him a drink and pour yourself one too. You turn back to your friends, holding up your cup for a cheers.

“Wait, wait, what are we cheersing to?” Daniel asks, grabbing his cup from behind him and holding it up, tapping on Jenny’s shoulder for her to do the same.

It’s Jeonghan who answers. Looking straight at you, he holds his cup up high and says, “To friends.”

You bring the drink up to your lips smiling, watching him watching you. All four of you down your drinks. The drink is absolutely terrible, burning a path down your throat all the way down. Jeonghan hands you another cup, whispering ‘it’s coke’ with an equally pained expression on his face. You take it gratefully.

“God,” Jenny says, placing a hand on her chest while watching the exchange between you and Jeonghan, “they’re like an old married couple already. How have we missed all this?”

“I know.” Daniel says, shaking his head. “I can still barely believe it.”

You glare at him. “Hey, what’s so hard to believe?”

They both ignore you, turning their attention to Jeonghan instead.

“So, we’ve heard all the boring–how you guys met, first date–sort of stuff, but we want to know the juicy details–”

“Jenny, don’t you have other guests to attend to or–”

“Yeah,” Daniel joins in, “like what’s your favorite thing about them?”

You turn to Jeonghan immediately. “You don’t have to answer that.”

“My favorite part,” Jeonghan starts, ignoring your plea to not humor them and tapping a finger on his chin in thought. He must find it after a moment, pausing the tapping and stealing a glance your way. “Probably how much fun I have with them.” He says to your friends. “I feel like we’re always laughing together or just having a good time. I’ve never been able to talk to someone as easily as I do with them. Like you know how when you get towards the end of a really good book, and you just can’t put it down, pushing everything else to the side to keep reading. Hanging out with them is like that.” Turning back to look at you, he adds, “I never want it to end.”

You hold his gaze while Jenny and Daniel erupt into a series of awes and exclamations. Deep in your gut, you know that you should be focusing on the kind smile on his face or the sudden rapidity in your heartbeat, but instead, more cruelly, you wonder how much of that was a lie he made up to appease the role of your fake boyfriend.

You turn to pour yourself another drink. He holds his cup out as well. You pour for two.

“You okay?” He asks, pouring some fruit punch into both your cups as well.

You nod. You have no reason to be upset. So taking a sip of the drink, you decide you’re not. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“We should play a game,” he says, taking a sniff of your jointly made concoction.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, like…” He looks around the apartment. “We have to drink every time we see someone kissing.”

“What kind of rule is that?”

“No. It’ll be fun.” He says, scanning the apartment again. He sucks in air between his teeth. “Damn, I thought there’d be more kissing than this for some reason.”

You laugh at his cluelessness, and then lean in to kiss his cheek. “There.” You say, clinking your cup against his. “Now, we can drink.”

He taps a finger to the tip of his nose twice, then points it at you, before taking two large gulps of his drink.

The game actually does a good job of getting you and Jeonghan drunk once Jenny catches wind if it and starts giving out birthday kisses to whoever will take one. After a while, you make the executive decision that you need a break and escape to the bathroom to piss. When you exit back into the hallway off the living room, Jeonghan is there, leaning against the opposite wall, waiting for you. He hands you your cup back. “Your friends are terrible, terrible enablers,” he says, motioning for you to drink up while taking a drink himself. You whimper, leaning against the wall beside him and readmitting the dreaded liquid to your body.

“So,” you bump your shoulder against his, “are you having fun?”

He shifts his entire body to face you, shoulder resting against the wall, back turned to the entire party. He puts his face right in front of yours, narrows his eyes at you playfully, and says, “did you even listen to what I said?”

You put a hand on his shoulder. Just to have something between his body and yours. “What?”

He grins cheekily, letting out a puff of air that smells like cherry. “I always have fun with you.”

You laugh. Then in a voice sober you would be embarrassed of, you say, “And you never want it to end?”

He sticks his tongue out just barely, laughing into your neck. “And I never want it to end.”

You kiss him.

You don’t stop to think about what it might mean tomorrow or even in the next hour. You don’t stop to think about the fact that you’re too drunk to be initiating kisses or the possibility that he is. You don’t stop to think about anything, other than how much you love the sound of his laugh and how badly you want to feel his lips on yours again.

The kiss starts slowly, a shy orchestration of lips and breath. Your nose bumps against his, and he pulls away. He looks at you with those damn eyes, like it’s the first time all over again. And for some reason you can’t explain you bitterly think that it was always going to end like this.

He cups his free hand against your cheek and pulls you back in. Your lips meet in an open-mouthed kiss that has nothing slow and shy about it. No. It’s sloppy, hurried, and hungry. It’s tongue and teeth, crashing and colliding over and over again. It’s your body against his, every rise of your chest battling against his You wrap your free hand against his torso, pulling him impossibly closer. His hand moves from where it was holding your face to travel over the back of your head and your neck, sliding halfway down your back before pulling forward to run from your waist down to your hip. It lingers there for a moment before continuing further to grip the back of your thigh, pulling your knee up the side of his leg and holding it there against his hip.

A commotion sounds from the living room. “Oh shit.” You say breathlessly, pulling away from him. “I think she’s going to pop the champagne.”

“Okay.” He breathes, before kissing you again. You laugh in his mouth, whispering his name and pushing a hand against his chest. Finally, he lets go of your leg. You lead him back to the rest of the party where everyone is crowding around the balcony entrance. You and Jeonghan stand in the living room, watching from the window as Jenny struggles to pop the cork. She gets it after a moment, yelping at the sudden burst and spraying it over the edge of the balcony. Once the champagne dies down enough to not be overflowing, she brings the bottle to her lips and chugs. Everyone counts.

1! Jeonghan steps closer to you, wrapping his arms around your torso and hugging you from the back. You have to remind yourself to catch your breath.

2! He rests his chin on your shoulder. Without even thinking about it, you rest your head against his. His voice is a warm breath on your neck.

3! You recall what he said to your friends at the start of the party and again to you right before the kiss. Did he mean it? Does he really not want this to end?

4! Your eyes glance over at his. He looks happy. He looks like he’s finally given himself the chance to be young and stupid, which from the start, is all you ever wanted for him. So then why does it make you feel so suddenly grief-stricken?

5! “Why didn’t you tell Joshua about us?” You ask him quietly, voice drowned out by the counting for everyone other than him.

6! He angles his chin towards you. “What do you mean? He knows we’re dating.”

7! “No, I mean why didn’t you tell him that it’s fake.”

8! He stands up straight. Fuck the counting. You turn to look at him. “He’s your best friend, isn’t he?”

9! He looks at you carefully. “Did you tell Soonyoung that it’s all been fake?”

10! You haven’t even answered him yet, but somehow, he already knows what you’re going to say.

11! “Yes.” And even alcohol couldn’t have hidden the distinct look of betrayal painted all over his face.

12! He looks down into his cup and chuckles darkly. “Why did we just kiss?”

13! You swallow. Shit. “Someone was looking at you, like–well, you know what like.”

14! He doesn’t say anything. You recount his words back to him. “Sealing the deal, remember.”

15! His eyes bore into yours. How could you have been so stupid?

16! Please, you want to beg, say something.

17! He shakes his head, smiling emptily. “Tell your friends it was nice to meet them.”

18! He doesn’t wait to hear if you have anything left to say. He turns, and you watch him disappear from the party.

The rest of the numbers blur in your head.

—

(That night you had called Soonyoung, sobbing over the phone, feeling more drunk then, in your apartment than you had at any other point that night.

“What’s wrong?” Alarm was flush in his voice. “What happened? Are you okay?”

The only thing Soonyoung could even make out was a very sad, very quiet, “I ruined it.”)

—

You haven’t talked to Jeonghan since Jenny’s party. He hasn’t texted you either. Staring at your upcoming midterm on Thursday and the extra study session with Jeonghan scheduled for Wednesday, you feel, quite lamely, mocked by your own calendar. But more than anything, you’re mad that he’s left you to study all alone the week of your midterm. You’re mad that you’re so busy replaying that night in your head, you can barely pay attention to the practice tests. You’re mad that, right now, sitting at the spot you guys always sat at in the library, you don’t have him. And you’re terrified of the creeping thought that you never really did.

By the time the midterm does come around, you’re exhausted. Not from studying or lack of sleep, but just from the sheer willpower it’s taken all week to not think about Jeonghan. You feel oddly calm going into the exam, the usual anxious chatter of students around you and rattling of chairs and pencils, not freaking you out as much as it normally would. You take the midterm, one question at a time, just as Jeonghan instructed you to do with every homework and every quiz. And then, 40 minutes in, you finish. Astonishingly, you even have enough time left to check over your work. So you do, fixing minor rounding and calculation errors, until you’re faced again with a completed exam and 15 minutes left.

You get to do something you haven’t done since high school: you turn it in early.

—

You spend the rest of that day in between your bed and your couch, struggling even more now than before to ignore thoughts of Jeonghan and your last conversation with him. For the past several weeks, Thursday afternoons were monopolized by Jeonghan, but today, watching the sun set outside your window, you’ve spent it all alone. The finality of what happened last weekend finally hits you: you might never speak to Jeonghan again. You really did ruin it. Suddenly, the urge to weep overcomes you. You turn on the tv instead, looking for a movie to watch. And of course it must be fate's petty joke on you that the first movie that pops up is the one you watched with Jeonghan after your date. You groan into your pillow before switching to something else.

By the time the movie is almost over and the sun has fully set, your phone rings. You had been checking it obsessively earlier and had therefore set it a bit farther away from where you were sitting. But at the sound of the ring, you’re ashamed to admit that you literally leapt for it. Your mind reads the caller id and is instantly flooded with an odd mix of relief and anxiety. Jeonghan is calling. Holy shit, Jeonghan is calling.

Your voice is shaky when you answer. “Hello?”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan’s partner right?” Your mouth parts at the voice that most definitely does not belong to Jeonghan. Who is this man? Why does he have Jeonghan’s phone? Why does it hurt your heart so much when he calls you Jeonghan’s partner? You must sit in your shock for too long because the mystery caller speaks again, sounding somewhat annoyed. “This is Seungcheol from the team. This is who I think it is, right? Because your number was saved as ‘my cutie’ with like a million heart emojis, so if not, this is about to get really awkward.” You have no idea how to respond to that. Finally, Seungcheol says your name. “This is you, right?”

You inhale sharply. “Yeah, uhm, sorry yes. Is everything alright? Aren’t you guys at practice right now?”

“Yeah, well we’re about to end, but here’s the thing…” Seungcheol then explains how terribly Jeonghan’s been playing this week, overly aggressive, missing every pass, fucking up every cross. And today, halfway through practice he hurt his shoulder and the coach sat him out entirely, forcing him to sit on the sidelines and just watch. Safe to say, this did not go over well with him, and he’s been laying down on the bench head buried in his arms, snapping at everyone who approaches him ever since. Seungcheol had to use a fake emergency bathroom break as a chance to run away to the locker room and make this call. “Do you know what’s going on with him?”

Of course you know, and it’s all your fault. You really did ruin everything with one kiss. “I–”

“Fuck, I’m running out of time. Never mind that.” Seungcheol says, cutting you off. “Can you just come down and be here, when we get off practice? Jeonghan drove over so you both can take his car back, but I think he just really needs someone here with him today.”

You wince. “Seungcheol, actually, I–”

“No, no, please. You don’t understand. I think I saw him crying on the bench. He needs you. Come.” Then after a slight hesitation he adds, “If you can. Please.”

You don’t even know what to say, but it doesn’t matter because just then the call ends. You stare at your phone, considering the options. Stay here and wallow. Or go, and try to salvage everything you’ve broken. And while you are a very accomplished wallower, you know which one you have to do. You drag your feet all the way over to your room to change.

You pace outside the field waiting for them, running through every possible scenario in your head. It does nothing, only worsening the condition of your already ailing heart. You drop down onto the curb, holding your head in your hands. Maybe he won’t even see you like this. You can’t tell if you prefer or hate that possibility.

Something bumps into your back. You look up and find Jeonghan staring down at you. You stand up so quickly your head starts to spin. Looking at him, you realize that this is the longest you’ve gone without seeing or talking to each other since meeting. You hated every second of it. But you think you might hate the look on his face right now more.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, words devoid of all the little quirks that make him him.

“Seungcheol called me.”

His face twitches. “Why?”

“He said that you–” you halt, selfishly wondering if it’s too late to abandon this ship. “How’s your shoulder?”

He looks at it, rolling it out once. He shrugs. “It’s fine now.”

You nod.

He then surprises you by asking: “How was your midterm?” Your eyes widen, searching his face for… you’re not even sure what. You don’t find it anyways.

You shift your weight uncomfortably. “It went well actually.”

He nods.

“Do you want a ride back?

He scoffs quietly. You flinch. “Can you even drive?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“How would you get back to yours?”

“I don’t know. Walk. Or maybe a bus. Or I could even–”

He doesn’t even let you finish. Voice raising when he asks again, “Why are you here?”

The words come out before you can stop them, tone matching his. “Because I’m sorry!”

“For what?”

“For kissing you!” He drops his duffle bag on the floor. “I don’t know!”

He parts his lips, inhaling as if to speak, but then he looks straight in your eyes and loses every word he might’ve wanted to say. He picks up his duffle and walks over to his car. “Jeonghan, please say something. I miss you, and I hate this. I just want to at least talk about what happened before we never speak again.”

He shoves his bag into the backseat and slams the door shut. He points to the car. “You coming?”

“Where?”

“I’ll drop you home.”

You don’t even know why you let him, but you do, sliding in the passenger seat and waiting until the car is started and moving to say something.

Or at least, that was the plan. But then you lose all the nerves you built up on your walk over and keep quiet the entire drive back to your place. It’s only when he stops in front of yours, ignition shutting off, that they build back enough for you to say, “Jeonghan, I–”

“I’m not mad because of the kiss.” He finally says, voice much softer than before. His eyes stay trained on the dashboard. “The kiss was…” He chokes on the word while the tiniest of smiles breaks like light after a storm on his face. “The kiss was perfect.” Your stomach momentarily turns into a gymnast. “I’m not even mad at all. I’m just,” You lean in after the words, as if waiting to catch them in your hands. He shakes his head once and then turns to look at you fully. “I’m upset because you think this has all been fake when, if I’m being brutally honest, I haven’t been faking anything since that first party.”

Oh.

Oh.

Holy fucking shit.

He chuckles darkly, hitting his head lightly against the steering wheel. “Now, I know what it feels like to be on the opposite end of this.”

You can’t help yourself. “How is it?”

He groans. “It’s like a thousand stomach aches throughout your entire body.”

You want to take him out of his misery, but, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything.”

“I don’t think–”

“No, I’m serious.” He mutters. He looks pained. “Remember when you said that I can’t say no to people? This is it. I’m saying no.” He smiles at you, but you know his eyes too well and you know when there’s nothing in them. His breath catches. “I’m really happy about your midterm. I always knew you didn’t need me.”

He looks away after that, turning the car back on, an obvious signal for you to get out. Selfishly, you don’t. You take two more seconds to stare at his face, his eyes, his hair, his hands. Then you unbuckle your seatbelt and step out of the car.

He doesn’t wait long before he drives away.

You walk back up to your dorm in a stupor of sorts. You unlock the door, step through the kitchen, walk like a zombie to your room, and stare at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes travel over your whole frame, and for some reason they fall to rest at your neck. More specifically, your necklace.

You’re out of the door, running before you even know it. Breathlessly, turning onto the road that leads to the opposite side of campus. 30 minutes away. This of course turns out to be a terrible, terrible idea. You do not run. But you get there eventually. Speed walking up to the door of Jeonghan’s frat house and knocking vigorously.

Soonyoung happens to be the one that opens it. “Oh, hey! How was your–Why can’t you breathe?”

You ignore him. “Is Jeonghan here?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t think he’s back from practice yet. Why? What happened? Did you guys make up yet?”

“No, but, Soonyoung, I’ve been so stupid. This whole time I kept gabbing on and on, but I was blind. It was him. It was always–”

You hear a familiar voice say your name. Not just familiar. Your favorite voice. You turn to face him.

And you can’t help it, you grin.

You’re distantly aware of Soonyoung closing the door behind you.

“How did you get here?”

“I ran.” He makes a face. “Well, partly.”

“I told you to–”

“I know what you said.”

“Fine.” He sighs. “I didn’t–well, not like this, but listen. It’s okay if you don’t care–”

“But the thing is Jeonghan,” you say, the sentences and words you had prepared on the way over blurring together all in a rush to get out of your head and into his, “I do. There was no one looking at you at Jenny’s party. I kissed you because I wanted to. Because I wanted it. I hate sports. Really, ask Soonyoung, but I went and watched your game and had fun because you asked me to and because I don’t have the capacity to actually say no to your face. I thought I hated that smirk you do, but really I just hate how flustered it makes me feel. And I’m sorry that I took the whole young and stupid thing too close to heart, but,” you pull the matching necklace out from under your shirt. “If I didn’t care, would I still be wearing this? Would I be able to stand here and tell you and I haven’t taken it off since we bought it? And that that date was the best date I’ve ever been on.” You let go of the necklace, inhaling sharply. “I care, Jeonghan.” Then, as if it needs to be clarified, you add, “about you.”

You stare at him, waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

He turns around, takes two steps away from you, and then immediately plops his ass on the ground. You hear a whimper. “I thought I was going to lose you.” You approach him slowly, like a cat you’re trying like hell not to scare. You kneel down on the pavement beside him. He wipes his tears. “Don’t laugh.” He cries, already sensing the one bubbling in your throat. You shake your head as a swear not to. Which you break a second after the fact, turning your head to the side, desperately trying to hide it behind your hand. “Bully!” He exclaims.

“No. No.” You say, composing yourself and turning back to him. His tears are wiped, but a pout remains on his face. You cup your hands against his cheeks. “It’s just really cute.”

“It’s embarrassing.” He huffs.

You shake your head. “I love it.” Then you kiss him. It’s a slow and sweet kiss. You relish in it. There’s no rush anymore. No deadline. He isn’t going anywhere. Neither are you. You have all the time in the world with him.

[chefkids]

The Bear is A Midsummer Night's Dream and Marcus is making the violet love potion for Syd and Carmy

There have been Shakespeare references in The Bear from the very beginning. In the very first episode Marcus finds Carmy’s James Beard award for Fairest Creatures, which is a Shakespearean sonnet about life being short and how everything will end and die even if they're beautiful, but the only thing that survives are children, and not having children deprives the world of beauty. Nat's conversation with Jimmy about raising children was parallel with Carmy's conversation with Terry about starting a restaurant. Then of course there was Richie singing Love Story which is about Romeo & Juliet.

Violet and purple flowers are a reoccurring thing we see and learn about in Season 3 of The Bear. According to Roman mythology, the wild pansy, a type of violet flower, was originally white, then turned into the purple Love-in-idleness when Cupid accidentally shot one of his arrows at it, working as a love potion with Cupid's powers. The first time we see purple flowers is in Tomorrow when Carmy tweezing purple flowers next to Luca at Ever, this is the same wagyu dish they ate at the Ever funeral with Sydney. We see more flowers in montages, like Carmy eating them at Noma, bouquets in hotels, and at Marcus' mom's funeral and more.

A Midsummer Night's Dream TL;DR: The play starts with Theseus preparing for his wedding to Hippolyta, he declares that young people should have fun and celebration, not sadness like at a funeral. Hermia, Lysander, Helena, and Demetrius are in a love square and run away to the woods. Puck aka Robin Goodfellow, a fairy that enjoys mischief, manipulates them with the juice of a violet flower, love-in-idleness, that makes people fall in love with the next creature they see. Things get messed up, the wrong people fall in love with each other, and they all fight with each other. Puck reverses the magic, then the couples reconcile and get married at Theseus and Hippolyta's wedding. There is also group of 6 stupid men called the Mechanicals that put on a play, Pyramus and Thisbe (which is also the inspiration behind Romeo & Juliet) for the wedding. In the end, Puck breaks the fourth wall and apologizes to the audience for any offense the play might have caused. The Bear Season 3 started and ended with a funeral and an attempt at a celebration, and we know there will be a wedding in Season 4.

Marcus and his magic purple flowers are always tying back to Syd and Carmy. In Doors the purple flowers at the funeral cut to Sydney and Carmy's "cause you write in the margins" wholesome moment between them.

In Children, Marcus sees a white violet then it cuts to Sydney reading the partnership agreement that Carmy sent while wearing a purple flower scarf.

He then tells Nat about it, she mentions it's the state flower of illinois and he decides to make a white violet flower dessert.

In Violet, Marcus is working on some purple liquid and holds a violet petal, then it cuts to Syd and Carmy.

Even back in Season 1 Marcus was interested in the color purple and flowers, roommate Chester brought pantone color swatches. In Legacy Marcus and Carmy talk about creating magic to push his violet dish further, then Sydney appears.

In that same episode after the conversation about legerdemain and magic, Richie's notebook makes its own sleight of hand. It's a bit hard to read his terrible handwriting but on one page it says Lover for Syd on top and below:

Carmy -> Syd Luca -> Carm

And in another page he wrote:

Syd -> pansy Luca -> Carmen

Richie is Puck/Robin and he wants to see what would happen if Luca and Carmy start fighting for Syd. Richie and the Fak's have been fucking with the dream weave and Carmy’s love story for a while by pushing him to be with Claire.

The Faks are the Mechanicals, a group of incompetent manual laborers. We see Carmy tweezing herbs next to some pansy flowers, then Fak brings out the donkey piñatas. In A Midsummer Night's Dream, one of the mechanicals, Bottom, gets turned into a donkey then the rest of the mechanicals say they are being haunted. And we all know how much the Fak's love to talk about being haunted. Can't get more on the nose than that for them.

The Faks/Mechanicals are mechanics but they think they can make a movie/play. Theodore Fak thinks he makes art films, Sammy Fak argues with him over SD cards and tells him he makes films for children's parties. Even Francie Fak is a reference to one of the mechanics, Francis Flute, who is the only one forced to play the female role in the play they are putting on for the wedding. Also, In A Midsummer Night’s Dream (1999) Michelle Pfeiffer played Tatiana, the Queen of the Fairies, who Storer originally had in mind to play Donna. 

When Richie arrived to Ever he took off a fishing hook from a purple flower, then right after Luca appears and greets Carmy. Carmy's flower tattoo in his hand is a violet, and it was right in front of his face the whole dinner when he was next Sydney and Luca and they started vibing with each other. Next season will have a wedding and Marcus' white violet dessert will be tasted. Richie already told us plan he has for Syd, the pansy and it goes from Luca to Carmy.

At the end of the play Puck has an epilogue and breaks the fourth wall to apologize to the audience if they have offended them. Richie and Tiff broke fourth wall to address the "kids" aka us the audience in Apologies. In conclusion, The Bear is a Shakespearean comedy, but it is also first and foremost, a messy love story. 💜

[amxrany]

!! CHAPTER 7 / DIASOMNIA ARC SPOILERS !!

I think I'm gonna have fun reading Jamil's segment so you all should read it too (Jamil's Dream):

Meet in a Dream is out here working overtime because we are now in Jamil's Dream. But something's wrong, Kalim, who is their newest addition seems to be fine (he even gushes to Silver how cool dream hopping is) but Vil is out here dying 💀. Like legit he was incredibly unstable that they had no choice but to split into 2 teams while he recovers. Silver and Ortho stay to help Vil while the rest go and find Jamil.

The other group is currently in Camel Bazaar (reference to the scalding sands event). They were planning to look for Jamil but it's really hot so they decided to rest for a bit and get some coconut juice. (Extra part: Sebek wanted to look for Jamil but Grim kept looking at the food so he just gave up and started eating as well) Kalim is the one who gets it for the gang, and when the shopkeeper tells Kalim to pay, he just says put it in the Asim bill. But the shopkeeper doesn't recognize the Asims and thought they were thieves and started calling for the police. But luckily Silver, Ortho and Vil come in just in time for Silver to pay the guy to avoid getting into trouble.

Kalim's confused as to why the shopkeeper doesn't recognize him because he's known since he was a kid, but we find out why by just seeing the images of Kalim's "estate"

This is where we get the Jamil reveal. It turns out in this dream, Jamil's the son of the sultan (this also makes Najma a sultana, which is absolutely slay) and the Vipers bought the Asim's properties due to financial problems

(ngl him in that outfit is making me feel fuzzy inside)

But anyways we see Jamil in a parade similar to that of Kalim in Book 4, thus we have another rhythmic portion

(so this actually says that Jamil does like Kalim's parades, if it was him in the place of Kalim. Kalim also acknowledges that Jamil's having a good time here)

We then see the statue of Jafar, in which everyone recognizes because it's in NRC, except Jafar looks like he's playing golf here lmao. Jamil sees Kalim and tells him to change because he isn't wearing the right uniform

Then Kalim talks to Jamil like always, but Jamil tells him to be more respectful in speaking. But he isn't really mad because Kalim's always like that. The rest instroduce themselves as the NRC Film Club, who are planning to film a video using the estate's facilities. Jamil's salty as always and it seems to be going normal as he tells Kalim to prepare things for the guests and while Kalim tries to, he still messes up.

Jamil thinks as to why his family kept Kalim despite being an idiot. Then Grim is thinking why is Jamil still bitter in his own dream. That's when see the magic carpet again (YAY), this causes Kalim to accidentally slip up and tell Jamil how they got it; it causes Jamil to leave for a moment.

But Kalim doesn't stop, he continues to tell Jamil of their memories together but Jamil keeps denying it. Kalim brings up about how 2 years before going to NRC, Jamil protected him from harm. Then, he spilled the events of Book 4 (as requested from the others). BUT THEN FAKE!KALIM APPEARS AND PROTECTS JAMIL. He's a lot more mature than real life Kalim, this causes the darkness to take Jamil and we're forced to fight Fake!Kalim.

Without thinking, Kalim just straight up jumps in with Jamil and the gang has no choice but to follow him. Similar to Vil's dream, we land back to the events of Book 4 but for some reason Azul is also controlled here like 😭😭😭????

(jamil being azul's no.1 hater fr)

Jamil makes Azul spill all the school's secrets (hey lemme in on it too /j) and is planning to use this information to defeat the other dorm head. He even drags Leona and says he doesn't deserve to be dorm head cuz he's lazy 😭

And after defeating the dorm heads, he's gonna go after the headmage and take over the school (we love a man who dreams big and jamil for headmage fr)

BUT KALIM SUDDENLY COMES IN AND DECKS JAMIL IN THE FACE 😭. HE CALLS HIM AN IDIOT BUT JAMIL IS NOT BUYING IT SO THEY START DUKING IT OUT

(THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGG)

But yeah Kalim yells at Jamil for being pathetic for just getting what he wants by manipulating everyone, then Jamil butts in by telling him that someone stupid doesn't have a say. They continue to duke it out and in the background Sebek wants to stop them but Silver said "nah let them fight it out" because the best way to say things is by punching ❤️

IT SURPRISINGLY WORKS AND IT WAKES JAMIL UP 😭and Kalim gets really happy and jumps around. But the darkness comes back and tries to swallow Jamil so he pushes Kalim away, but Kalim wouldn't let go so they start fighting again 💀. But in the end, Jamil gets swallowed and meets his overblot self and learns to accept it thus starting the fight between the two

Jamil says he's the genie of the lamp, tired of living in a cramped space and would now dedicate himself to fulfilling his wishes. He returns to the place with Jafar's statue with the Fake!Kalim, who asks what he can do for him. But Jamil tells the Fake to fuck himself 😭 because he finds it weird that Kalim's like that and wishes for the dream to just end

The gang find Jamil and Kalim tries to tackle him but Jamil dodges it, saying that he's easy to read. Kalim asks Jamil to join them, and he accepts. However, Vil has to stay behind because he doesn't feel well and Kalim stays behind as well because of the injuries he got from Jamil (he does summons ice from Kalim's wounds tho). The others will go on ahead and wake the others. Jamil asks where they're going but Ortho says it's a secret, probably because the moment Jamil finds out they're going to Octavinelle he is going to find his way out of there.

But that is all for this chapter, hoo boy that was a lot but I'm glad that I managed to cover it. I'm really excited to see the Octavinelle segment knowing that it's Jamil we have, the biggest Octa hater but I do know it's gonna be funny

So yeah ima knock myself out now bye bye

Previous: Kalim's Dream

[callsign-dexter]

Snowy Embrace 18+

Request: We were having a weekend off at a little lake cabin and it was just us. Lots of cuddles (and other things hehe) in front of a fireplace.. long walks in the snow outside and then having him us warming up with more cuddles and hot chocolate 😭

Pairings: Kelly Severide x Wife!Reader

Warnings: fluff, smut (right out of the gate), cursing, tiny bit of angst

Masterlist

A/N: Thank you @talesofreading for requesting this and you and @imagine-all-the-fandoms better prepare yourselves its gonna be a steamy one.

“You know what I think we should do?” Your husband of 6 years, Kelly Severide, said as he looked up from his spot at the table looking at you at your spot at the counter making lunches for the day. You two had gotten up earlier before your two little ones, 10-year-old twins, one boy and one girl, Zoey Severide and Chase Severide, wanting to spend some time together before the chaos erupted. 

“What would that be?” You answered with a question.

“I think we should leave the kids with your mom and dad and we head up to the cabin for a little get away. We both have a few days off. We need to use up by the end of the year and its already December. Maybe work on baby number 3 and maybe 4, if it’s twins again. It's also our anniversary.” He said and as he talked you thought about it and the more, he talked about it the more it sounded delightful. You were an accountant at a huge accounting firm.

“Ok. Why do we have to work on baby number 3 or 4, if it is twins?  It'll be nice to get away for our anniversary.” You said looking into his stunning blue eyes that you watched light up.

“Yea?” He asked 

“Yea.” You replied and nodded. He smiled and got up and turned you around to where you were pressed against the counter and kissed you. 

“We need to apply for vacation 2 weeks in advance.” He said kissing your neck as his hands roamed your body. 

“Mmmm true but I want to take it with you now.” You moaned quietly especially when his hand came in contact with your clothed core. 

“Then put your 2 weeks notice for vacation today and I'll put mine in.” He said nipping at your neck as his hand traveled up and slid into your sleep shorts and underwear. You always ran hot so it wasn't rare to find you in a tank top and shorts in the dead of winter. He ran his fingers through your slick folds. 

“Kels the kids could walk in at any minute.” You moaned and gripped the counter behind you. You had your eyes closed and head thrown back and wasn't expecting to find him close to your ear and jumped which made his thick digit sink into you.

“We have plenty of time. We have another hour before they have to be up. So, you better be quiet.” He said as he fingered you curling his finger to hit your g-spot. 

“Fuck, Baby.” You moaned out quietly and whimpered when he pulled out but you didn't have to wait long because he was getting on his knees and pulling your sleep shorts and underwear down your legs to where they were at your ankles and you stepped out of on pant leg. He spread your legs and suddenly his mouth was on your heated slick core. It made you jump and you had to throw a hand over your mouth to keep quiet. He tongued fucked you and licked you up and down with an occasional nip at your clit. Your legs were shaking. “Baby, I'm going to cum.” You moaned quietly having taken your hand away and you could feel him smirk and pick up his effort and after one gentle bite to your clit you were coming down and cumming on your husband's face. He didn't stop until you were a shaking flustered mess. He stood up and you looked at him, your juices shining in the light on his lips. 

“You taste great, Baby.” He said and you couldn't speak still coming down finally catching your breath you spoke.

“I think you need some attention.” You said and looked down at his erection. He smirked as you got down on your knees grabbing a hold of his shorts and underwear and pulling them down enough to where his raging erection came up and hit his clothed abs. You knew you had plenty of time and you knew your kids were heavy sleepers so you took your husband in your mouth and got to work. His hand immediately went to the back of your head and he threw his head back. Whatever part of the shaft wasn't in your mouth you had your hand wrapped around. He was thick and girthy. 

“Fuck, Honey. Your mouth was made for me.” He said quietly and so you relaxed your throat and took him further. “Oh, fuck you're taking me so deep. Keep going.” He said as you bobbed your head up and down and jerked him off. Tongue licking and circling his tip every now and then. Then your other hand went to his heavy balls and he jumped. You knew he was close because his cock started jumping and his balls tightened. “I'm close. I wanna finish inside of you.” He said as he withdrew and you stood up. He swiped everything over and you squealed and chuckled when he picked you up and laid you down. His cock went straight to your entrance. “Ready?” He asked and you nodded enthusiastically.

“Please.” You moaned and he smirked and slid in you bottoming out all in go. You threw your head back in pleasure. “That’s right baby fill me up.” You moaned and then he settled letting you adjust. After a minute you nodded and he started to move. At first it was slow and the stretch felt wonderful his head went into your neck and he kissed you and nibbled on your neck as he slowly fucked into you. “Faster, Babe.” You moaned and he smiled.

“You’re in charge.” He said and started to speed up each thrust made you moan out in pleasure to the point where he had to cover your mouth with his hand. “What did I say about being quiet?” He said in a playful warning tone. You clenched around him and he moaned.

“Sorry, but you make me feel so good.” You moaned behind his hand. His rhythm started to become sporadic; he moved his hand and replaced it with his mouth. Finally, he stilled and painted your walls white then you were cumming behind him and he stayed there for a minute until you started to hear Chase stir by flushing the toilet. He quickly but slowly pulled out of you and was quickly hurrying to pull his underwear and shorts up as he was quickly helping you pull yours up. Both giggling as you both tried to hurry. 

“Wait.” He said and grabbed some of this sperm that leaked out and put it back in which had you moaning. You heard Chase's footsteps on the stairs.

“Hurry.” You said and he did. He pulled your pants up and helped you down as he pulled them over your hips. You quickly fixed your hair and turned back to the food on the counter getting it back in order and Kelly was beside you helping. You could feel his cum running down your legs but knew the counter would hide it but you looked at Kelly and he looked at you smirking. “I can feel your cum running down my leg.” You whispered and his smirk got bigger and you nudged him but he didn’t say anything because Chase was appearing in front of the counter. “Good morning, Baby Boy.” You said.

“Good morning, Sunshine.” Kelly said at the same time and he looked at you both.

“Morning.” He grumbled and you laughed. He was always the first one up out of your kids even if he was never a morning person just like his father but just like his father, he had an internal alarm clock that made him get up at the time he was supposed to

“Alright, Kelly Jr. what would you like for breakfast?” You asked and he shrugged.

“I don’t know. Waffles?” He asked, now awake a little more.

“Sounds good, Bud. I’ll get them started while your mother goes and gets your sister.” He said and that is what you did. Your daughter was a lot like you wanting to sleep in as much as possible and stay up as late as possible. It really is funny how you both had kids that ended up being the same as you both. You went over and kissed your son’s head and he grunted but you knew he secretly loved you cuddles and kisses. As you started to walk up the stairs you felt more cum escape and you glared and shook your head. 

“Damn you, Kelly.” You whispered as you reached your daughter’s room and you knocked slightly before you were opening the door. “Zoey, honey. It is time to get up.” You said as you walked further into her room.

“No, 5 more minutes.” She groaned and you smiled as you sat on the edge of her bed. 

“Don’t you want waffles? Dad is cooking them.” You said and that perked her up. Both you and Kelly could cook but his waffles were the best and you couldn’t argue with that.

“Yea.” She said as she started to get up out of the bed. You smiled and ran a hand through her hair as she rubbed her eyes as she made her way downstairs. 

“Hey, tell Dad that I’ll be down there in a minute. I’m going to shower and get ready.” You said and she nodded.

“I will.” She said and she disappeared and you sat there for a minute and then you were getting up and heading to your and Kelly’s room to start getting ready for the day. You turned on the shower to the temperature you wanted and then you stripped out of your clothing a glob of cum ran out and onto your underwear and you smiled thinking of the activities that you and your husband were up to before the kids started to get up. Once your clothing was off you stepped in the warm water cascaded down your back and you sighed and titled your head back letting the warm water run down your head. Your hand traveled to your stomach and it stayed there you and Kelly always talked about having more kids but never had the time but now this would be the perfect opportunity and who knows your little rendezvous in the kitchen might’ve just been it but you weren’t ovulating so it might’ve not happened but if your schedule is right, you would be when you and Kelly were at the cabin. You smiled at the thought of being pregnant as you started your shower routine. When you were done you turned off the shower and dried off and then wrapped the towel around your body and stepped out. You brushed your teeth and put on deodorant then got dressed in the clothes for the day which consisted of jeans, a plain blue t-shirt, and then one of Kelly’s sweatshirts. You grabbed socks and sat on the bed to put them on and once they were you walked down the stairs to be greeted with laughter from your husband and kids. You walked into the kitchen and smiled and then your son saw you and smiled at you.

“Hey, Mom.” He said and that caused the other two to look at you and smile.

“Hi, Momma.” Zoey said as she took a bite of her waffle. Kelly got up and grabbed a plate with fresh waffles and walked over to you and kissed you as he handed the plate to you.

“Hi, Baby.” He said 

“Thank you.” He said and then he was turning around and putting his hand on the small of your back leading you to the table.

“Have you told them?” You asked as you drowned your waffle in syrup.

“Told us what?” Zoey and Chase said at the same time.

“I was waiting for you and now that you’re here we can tell them together. Your mom and I are going to be heading up to the cabin in two weeks for our anniversary.” He said 

“Ugh lucky, you two get to go away while we still have to go to school.” Chase said and you both laughed and smiled as you took a bite of your waffle.

“I think that is a wonderful idea. You two deserve some time off.” Zoey said and you smiled.

“Thank you, Z. Also you both will be staying with Grandma and Grandpa while we are gone. I know you both love them.” Kelly said and they both nodded. Your parents were extremely helpful during your pregnancy and when the twins were born. You had a great relationship with them and they loved Kelly and Kelly loved them. 

“Ok that makes it better.” Chase said and everyone chuckled. Kelly reached over and ruffled his hair which he groaned playfully and tried to get away. The rest of breakfast was spent laughing and eating until it was time for the kids to start getting ready for school and you finished putting lunches in lunch boxes. As the kids were getting ready Kelly came up behind you and kissed your neck. 

“What time do you go in?” You asked

“9 AM.” He said kissing your neck and you titled it to the side and before you got too far into the pleasure you stopped him because you knew what he was doing.

“Oh no. We don’t have time for this again. Our kids are awake.” You said and he groaned but stopped pouting and you turned your head and kissed his pouty lips. “I love you.” You added and smiled which made him smile.

“I love you too.” He said and then Chase and Zoey were coming down the stairs. They grabbed their winter jackets and backpacks and Kelly departed from you. 

“I’ll be late at work so the two of you will have to get a ride to the station and wait with your dad until I get off work.” You said as you turned, handing them their lunches and they put them in their bags.

“Ok.” They both said at the same time a trait that came with being twins. Every time it happened you laughed and smiled and Kelly did the same. 

“Alright, we have to get going or we’ll be late.” You said and they both turned to hug their father and he hugged them back and kissed their heads and told them that he loved them. You walked over and kissed him and hugged him. “I love you.” You said.

“I love you too.” He replied and then you and the two kids were out the door and heading to your Jeep. They argued about getting the front seat and you quickly put an end to that and made them sit in the back of course they both pouted but did as they were told not wanting to get on your bad side. 

It was a quick drive to their school and you were pulling up in the front and saying bye to them and you were heading off to work. When you got there, you sighed and parked your Jeep then got out while grabbing your stuff and heading in after locking your Jeep it was actually not blistering cold but still cold but you knew that could change. As you were walking your friend, coworker, and boss April Jepp “Hey.” She said and you turned to her as you both entered the heated building.

“Hey.” You said smiling at her finally thawing you.

“So, your anniversary is coming up. Any plans?” She asked, wiggling her eyebrows and you smiled at her and laughed.

“We were planning to go up to the cabin for a few days.” You said “Which means I need to take a few days off.” You said and she smiled and nodded.

“Of course you can. You’re my best accountant. You both deserve some time together on your special day.” She said as you both walked into her office. She was a really cool boss and everyone loved her and loved working with her. “So which days are you thinking about?” She asked as she sat down at her desk pulling up the scheduling. 

“I’m thinking about the week of the 15th.” You said and she nodded and then smiled. 

“Done. Also thank you for coming to me two weeks in advance.” She said and you smiled.

“Not a problem.” You said and then you were heading out of her office and started your long day of working but smiled at the thought of your time off with your husband.

*******

At the station Kelly had been tied up with calls all day until it was time for the kids to arrive at the station so he hadn’t been able to ask until now. He had just taken his gear off when Chief Wallace Boden walked by. “Hey, Chief! I have a question for you.” He said and Boden stopped and turned to him.

“What’s up?” He asked

“Y/N and I’s wedding anniversary is coming up and we were planning on going to the cabin to spend some time together. I wanted to take off the week of the 15th for it.” He said and Boden smiled.

“Of course you can. I’ll go and schedule you off.” Boden said and Kelly smiled.

“Thank you so much.” He said and Boden patted him on the shoulder and then he was off. Kelly was about to go and do something when Chase and Zoey’s voice caught his attention.

“Dad!” They said at the same time and he turned and smiled as they ran up to him.

“Hey you two.” He said and he hugged them both.

“I will never get used to you having kids.” Stella Kidd said and everyone that was in the garage nodded and agreed.

“Get used to it.” He said “We’re planning for a third one.” He added.

“What?” Chase said 

“You and mom are trying for another kid?” Zoey asked 

“We are. Do you not want that?” He asked 

“We want it!” They yelled and he chuckled and kissed their heads.

“Good. Now go and do your homework before your mom gets here.” He said and ushered them to the kitchen.

“So, you and the wife want more kids?” Matt Casey said coming over to him and Stella.

“We do. We loved raising the twins into the kids they are today and we’re ready for the baby phase again. Also, the kids would be pretty far enough apart in age. We’re just ready.” Kelly answered him and they all smiled. 

“You’re a great dad.” Matt said

“Thank you.” Kelly said and then they got busy with doing things around the firehouse until you came into it around 6 PM and spotted your husband right away.

“Sorry, I had a project that I needed to finish up.” You said as you got to him and kissed him.

“Nonsense. You have to do what you need. The kids finished their homework up and we fed them. There is plenty if you want something.” He said 

“Please.” You said and he was ushering you into the kitchen and you went to your kids, who were sitting on the couch in front of the TV. “Hey you two.” You said as you touched their heads and they turned around with smiles on their faces.

“Hi, Mom.” They said at the same time and you leaned down. 

“What are you watching?” You asked them.

“Parks and Recreation.” Zoey said and you smiled.

“Good show. You two can continue watching while I eat and talk with your dad.” You said and they nodded and again you smiled and turned to your husband who was sitting a plate down for you. 

“They know we are trying for another kid.” Kelly said as you took your first bite.

“Oh?” You asked and he nodded.

“It went well and they want a sibling. Stella mentioned something about not getting used to me being a dad and I told her to get used to it because we are trying for another.” He said 

“I’m glad they are excited.” You said as you ate and he nodded. You two continued to talk for a while before he was being called away and that is when you decided to leave you and the kids said goodbye and gave him hugs and kisses and all three of you were off.

*******

The time for you and Kelly to go up to the cabin had finally come. The good news was that you had your period last week and knew you were ovulating so it would be perfect. You and Kelly had agreed not to drink this week because you were trying to get pregnant. You both dropped the kids off to your parents the night before and went to the store and grabbed the necessities and the stuff that needed to be in the fridge and freezer went into coolers and then the two of you started to head up right after. The ride up there was filled with talking, laughter, music, and some good and bad singing. Then you saw something white fall. “Is it snowing?” You asked leaning forward to get a better view and as more fell you confirmed it but so did Kelly.

“Looks like that.” He said and turned on the windshield wipers. You started to grin wider as you set back; you loved the snow and he knew that. It just made this all the more special. Thankfully his Jeep had all wheel drive and weather prepared. The lake started to come into view and then your cabin came into view and you smiled. Kelly saw you in the corner of his eye and he smiled. He loved it when you were happy. Kelly turned the Jeep and backed it up until he was close to the porch and parked and turned the key off. You got out and walked a little bit to where your favorite tree was. You weren’t standing there long before your felt arms around your waist. 

“Isn't it beautiful?” You asked 

“It sure is.” He said smiling though he wasn’t talking about the view but you didn’t know that.

“I can’t wait to get this week started.” You said and he smiled and kissed your head.

“Me either so let us get to it.” He said and you smiled and nodded and so you both started to unpack the Jeep and you went and unlocked the cabin and turned some lights on. Once the Jeep was unpacked and everything was sitting on the counter and suitcases by the stairs you went over and turned on the heat. “So, what do you want to start with first?” He asked as he started to put food away. 

“Hmmmm first we need to let everyone know we are here safely.” You said and he chuckled and you pulled out your phone to do so, you were glad you had service up here. “Then I think we should get a fire going and a movie queued. Just have a relaxing night in.” You said and he smiled as you walked over to him and leaned on the counter.

“That sounds wonderful, my beautiful wife.” He said and you blushed no matter how long you were with him he knew how to make you blush. 

“I also want you to know that my period was last week and I’m ovulating.” You said smirking as his lips started to turn into a smile.

“Oh really?” He asked

“Really.” You said

“We can get started on the 3rd kid now.” He said and you chuckled.

“First you’re going to build that fire.” You said and he groaned and sighed.

“Fine.” He said and sulked off but you just laughed and followed him grabbing the remote and turning on the TV and once it was on you turned it to Amazon Prime Video. 

“What do you want to watch?” You asked as he stacked the logs and lit them on fire.

“That new Twisters movie is out. How about that?” He asked

“Any chance to look at Glen Powell in a white T-Shirt with rain coming down and him in a cowboy hat I’ll take.” You said and he rolled his eyes but smiled.

“When did you see it?” He asked

“When the kids were in bed and you were at work.” You said and he laughed as he got up and came over and sat down and you snuggled into him. He grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and threw it over you as you started the movie. You sat through the movie grinning like an idiot and slightly drooling and when it was over 2 hrs. later you were pouting and Kelly laughed but just kissed you. It was now dark and your stomach was growling. 

“Hungry?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yes, did the frozen pizza get put up?” You asked

“It did but it won’t take long to thaw and the oven preheats pretty fast.” He said “Is that what you want?” He asked.

“Yes. Did the ranch and hot sauce make it into the food?” You asked

“Of course. I know you can’t live without those two.” He said 

“Awww you really do love me.” You said as he started to get up to start getting the food ready.

“You know I do.” He said and turned to kiss you then he was walking into the kitchen as you started to get the next movie or show ready. You heard the freezer door open and close and the oven start. Soon Kelly was joining you back on the couch.

“What are we watching now?” He asked

“Leverage.” You said as you opened the blanket and he scooted in. You snuggled into his arms. You got 30 minutes into the movie when the oven preheated and he got up and put in the pizza and came back to the couch with drinks, ranch, and hot sauce. 

“20 minutes and we’ll have food ready.” He said and you smiled.

“Perfect.” You said “What do you say about going on a hike tomorrow?” You asked

“That sounds like a perfect plan then we can come in and warm up with activities.” He said wiggling his eyebrows and you rolled your eyes but you weren’t going to say no.

“Perfect.” You said and then he was getting up for the last time but this time he was bringing plates and pizza. He had set the pizza down and put a slice on the plate for you and handed it to you along with your sauce of choice. You spent the rest of the evening cuddled together eating pizza and watching a Leverage marathon. That’s what you ended up doing all night because the next morning you were waking up on the couch wrapped in your husband's arms laying on top of him, he must’ve moved to laying down. The fire had gone out and the warm sun was hitting your face. 

“Good morning.” He said and you looked down at him he still had his eyes closed. 

“You’re awake?” You asked and he opened his eyes and looked at you.

“Been awake for about 20 minutes, you just looked too peaceful to wake up.” He said and you smiled and kissed him and he kissed back. “When do you want to start that hike?” He asked.

“As soon as we get changed and have breakfast.” You said and he smiled and kissed you again.

“Perfect just like you.” He said and you blushed and then you were getting up and he was too. You both took your bag upstairs and got ready for the hike and the day. Once you were ready you helped make breakfast and you both ate while you both talked about anything or everything but mostly crazy calls he had gone on. You really didn’t have any crazy or funny stories so you left all that to him. When you were done you both put on your snow boots and winter coats along with hats and then you ventured out into the chilly air.

“Kels look!” You said looking out at the snow in amazement and all he could look at was the excitement on your face.

“It’s wonderful.” He said, he continued to stare at you until you looked at him.

“Ready?” You asked and he nodded.

“Always.” He said and so you both started to walk. It was wonderful you were huddled up against your husband and gloved hands holding each other. You must’ve walked for a few hours until you got to your favorite place by the lake, the place where your husband proposed and you had pictures of it thanks to Leslie Shay having come up with you. You two stood there and looked over the lake that now had a light layer of ice over it. 

“Remember when you proposed to me up here?” You asked, looking over at him as he looked out over the lake.

“I do. I remember like it was yesterday.” He said looking over at you and you were smiling. “If I could I would do it over again.” He said and you smiled and blushed but you couldn’t tell because your cheeks were pink from the cold and so was your nose. “Ready to head back?” He asked, looking at your rosy nose and cheeks. You smiled and nodded.

“Yes, I am. Also ready for those warming up activities that you have planned.” You said smirking and he smirked back.

“So am I.” He said and then you both shared a kiss and then you were heading back to the cabin. An hour later you were back and stepping into the warm cabin. 

“Warmth.” You moaned and he chuckled “I’m going to take a shower. You’re welcome to join me.” You said smirking and winking as you shed your jacket and boots and headed upstairs and he was quickly shedding his boots and jacket and hurrying behind you. When he finally reached you, the shower was already running and there was a pile of your clothes and his quickly joined. He stepped into the bathroom naked and pulled the glass shower door back. You turned to look at him smirking as he stepped in behind you. The shower was plenty big and it was perfect. His hands went to your breasts and massaged them as he kissed your neck and nipped at it your head turned to give him better access. You could feel his erection standing attention against your lower back. You turned around in his arms and threw your arms around his neck and his hands left your breasts and went to your hips.

“Hi.” He said in a whisper.

“Hi.” You replied in the same tone. You then leaned in and kissed him and he squeezed your hips and that was a signal for you to jump and you did. He backed you up into the wall under the water. He held onto you as one hand went to his cock and slowly slid it into you and you moaned in his mouth. You thrusted in you nice and slow taking his time with you and since there was no need to worry about hurrying or any kids possibly interrupting you. 

“Always so tight for me.” He moaned as he broke the kiss.

“That’s because I was made for you.” You moaned and he thrusted up into you.

“Damn right.” He said kissing the side of your neck. 

“You always know how to hit all the right spots.” You moaned and you tightened around him. 

“Keep doing that and I won’t last long.” He moaned and you smirked and did it again. “Oh, fuck I’m close.” He moaned.

“So am I baby. So am I.” You moaned and just about that time his thrusts became erratic and you both came hard. He stayed in you until you both came down and he was putting you down on shaky legs. You two eventually did get cleaned and he turned the shower off and then grabbed the towels. First, he dried you off and wrapped it around your body and then dried off and wrapped his towel around his waist. He helped you out of the shower and then followed right behind you. You put on your bra and underwear and then his Chicago Fire Department long sleeved shirt that you might’ve stolen from him. Your hair was wet and down and to him you looked sexy as hell. He pulled on his underwear and threw a shirt on and then the both of you were heading down the stairs. 

“Want some hot chocolate, Babe?” He asked as he reached the kitchen and turned to you as you tended to the fire. You turned and smiled at him and nodded.

“With-” You began

“With whip cream and extra marshmallows.” He said and you smiled.

“You get me so well.” You said 

“Of course I do, Baby.” He said and brought over two mugs as you took a seat on the couch. He waited until you got settled before giving you your hot chocolate and then he sat down and you settled into him. 

“If we do end up pregnant, what are you hoping for?” You asked as you took a sip of your hot chocolate.

“Another girl would be nice but also another boy.” He said and you chuckled.

“What if it is twins again?” You asked and he smiled.

“That would be even more perfect.” He said and you smiled and snuggled further into him. Whatever you had or how many you had they would be equally loved and given attention. As the week came to an end and you were packing up and feeling refreshed during your stay you both had several more intimate moments and each time it was sweet and not rushed. 

 *******

The next week was Christmas and you were excited for Kelly to open his present. When you had gotten back into town Sunday you dropped Kelly off at home and made a quick trip to the store before going to get the kids. You got a pregnancy test and some baby clothes, two sets. If you knew your body then it would be throwing twins, you just had a feeling. The baby clothes were all firefighter themed and you were thankful for keeping the baby clothes from the twins. Then you picked the twins up and headed home. They talked nonstop about what they did with their grandparents and you smiled as you listened glad, they always had a good time with them. By the time you got into the house they were already rushing off to tackle their father and you laughed.

When you had gone back to work for the one day before Christmas Eve you were greeted back with open arms and everyone said you were glowing which you blushed but thanked them. You went through work happy and ready to be back home. The time for you to go home came quickly and you were saying bye to your coworkers and heading home. When you got there Kelly’s Jeep was gone still which meant that he was picking up the kids after his 24-hr. shift which meant that you had 20 minutes to take the test. You parked and then got out grabbing your stuff and rushing in. You quickly threw your jacket off and shoes and rushed to the bathroom. You went into the bathroom and grabbed the test which was hidden in your tampons. You pulled your pants and underwear down and sat on the toilet and took the test then capped it you set your timer for 5 minutes, you wiped and pulled up your underwear and pants. You were nervous but excited as you washed your hands. The timer went off and you took a breath and looked at it and melted in relief and excitement. Two pink lines. You were pregnant. 

You exited the bathroom and grabbed the gift bag and gift box. You quickly put the test in the box and the baby clothes in the bag. You went downstairs and put them under the tree just as soon as the door opened. The tree and decorations were put up and set up before you had left for your little vacation. “Honey, we’re home!” Kelly shouted and you chuckled.

“In the living room!” You shouted and they all came rushing in.

“Mom!” Zoey and Chase shouted and came and almost tackled you.

“Easy.” Kelly said and they listened and they hugged you and then sat down beside you. You smiled as they talked about their day and the gifts that were exchanged. You were invested in what they were saying and listened to them happily and so did Kelly. Soon it was time for dinner and then they were heading off to bed leaving you and Kelly alone cuddled up on the couch looking at the multi-colored lights on the Christmas tree. Neither of you spoke and as his hand rested on your stomach you smiled you couldn’t wait to share the news with him.

Christmas Eve came and went and family dinners were eaten and now it was Christmas. You both were woken up early and being ushered downstairs to the tree as your parents knocked on the door and Kelly went and opened the door. Everyone was gathered, gifts were open and thank you’s and I love you’s along with hugs were passed around. Finally, you decided to give Kelly his gift. “I have one last gift for you.” You told him as you reached over and grabbed the bag and box. You gave him the bag first and he opened it. He read it and things started to click and it seemed like everyone had gotten it already and they were smiling and squealing. 

“Are you?” He asked and you gestured to the box.

“Open it.” You said and he did and there sat the test with the two pink lines.

“Holy shit. Really?” He asked and you smiled and nodded tears coming to his eyes.

“Really.” You said and he practically lunged at you and hugged you and kissed you as everyone cheered and your parents congratulated you.

“We’re going to be grandparents again!” Your father cheered.

“Oh, I can’t wait to spoil them.” Your mother said. 

“Finally, another sibling!” Zoey and Chase said and you chuckled and nodded. Everything was great. 

*******

9 months later you were welcoming your twins. Yup twins. One boy, Sam Severide, and one girl, Olivia Severide. The numbers were even and Kelly was excited that they were and so were you. Both healthy and strong just like their daddy and you if you asked Kelly and others. Twins just meant twice the love that went around. 

Everything was perfect.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@talesofreading

@callsign-revenge

[macabr3-barbi3]

dream a little dream (of me) - chapter 4

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

With new abilities comes fun- and some new problems.

SLOW MOVING BUT WE'RE GETTING THERE FOLKS- have a healthy dose of both plot and angst bc I have no self control hehehe

Those that asked to be tagged (if I missed you or tagged by mistake I AM SORRY AHHH)! @fraugwinska (MY LOVE MY DEAR MY MUSE 💛) @aconstructofamind @littlebluefishtail @spottypug @dennsfz

@bishiglomper @ivebeenthearchersstuff @martinys-world @minamilinaqueen

Tags: Dream Sex; Dreamsharing; Vaginal Sex; Rough Sex; Light Bondage; Dreamwalking; Clone Sex; Threesome - F/M/M; Tentacles; Overstimulation; Angst

Comments and feedback are always loved and appreciated thank u and enjoy 🫶

In the weeks following Alastor ripping his stitches open, you are careful to avoid his dreams- and his bed- so that he can properly recover this time. After his wound heals, when Alastor starts stepping out for errands away from the Hotel again, you start practicing your newfound abilities.

You nap in your own room at times when Husk is off duty and start small- knocking over bottles on the shelf while he speaks with Angel or Charlie in his dreams. Loosening his bowtie so he has to fix it when it starts dangling off his throat. Replacing the alcohol in his glass with various juices and other liquids- and okay, maybe replacing all of the vodka with water was a step too far, since that’s what eventually made Husk start looking around the lobby in suspicion in his dreams. You just hovered on the outer edges of his consciousness, hidden in the shadows of the lobby and watching, messing with things a bit.

Niffty was next, and under any other circumstances you would have felt bad about conjuring a wave of roaches from the closet she was about to open; the little cyclops had a blast though, pulling out her tiny dagger and stabbing away as she was carted off down the hallway, giggling maniacally. It was during this dream that you realized you could vanish, blend into the background of the dreamscape as easily as Alastor shifted into shadows. Niffty had no clue you were there as she rode the wave of bugs into consciousness.

There was only so much that you could really test without the person knowing about it- you didn’t want to try your luck with Vaggie or Charlie without knowing the extent of your abilities, so you finally cave and ask Alastor for permission to enter his dreams to practice some things; simple conjuring, your disappearing act, just generally testing how much control you really had. He also offered up use of his pocket dimension to test the range of your power, which was the first thing that you did together.

Technically with this knowledge you could have figured out a room in the hotel that would prevent you from being close to anyone as you slept. But who wants to climb those extra sets of steps? Better to just stay in Alastor’s room, you figured.

So here you were, in Alastor’s dream version of the bayou, a clearing in the forest laid before you. “The first thing that we should consider,” he tells you, “is that you may not be the only person with powers such as you have. If this is the case, it’s pertinent that both of us learn to distinguish between what is created by the dreamer’s own mind, and what is conjured with your powers. Duplicate this,” he demands, and when he holds out his hand he has a book that he transfers to you before turning around. You concentrate on it, manifesting an identical copy in your opposite hand. Last second, you swap the hand that holds each book before Alastor turns around and takes them back.

He inspects them closely before he gives you back the one that you had created. “It’s very subtle,” he says with a hum, “but if you look and feel closely you can find the differences. Whether that is a matter of your current lack of experience or a side effect of your powers we’ll have to determine.” You run your hands over both of them, actually inspecting rather than just holding them, and can’t find anything different between them. When you tell Alastor this, he simply provides something else for you to duplicate; a silk robe.

This time when you create yours, you take a moment to feel beyond what is in your hand and you think you know what he’s talking about; there’s something a little less corporeal about it even though it’s solid in your hands, the edges almost a little fuzzy if you look too closely. You focus a little harder to see if you can fix that and the lines of the robe sharpen. Satisfied, you have Alastor turn around again, and this time he looks pleasantly surprised.

“Good girl,” he says. “You’re a quick study.” You repeat the exercise a couple more times, the items increasing in size from a radio to a log, finally stumping Alastor with a duplicated taxidermy raccoon- you bring them both to life, and they scamper about between Alastor’s legs before running off into the bayou, evidently vanishing with a snap of his fingers and then yours.

“Excellent,” Alastor commends you, and you glow with the praise, facing away from him still from having turned to watch the raccoons. “We both can tell how to tell your items from those created by the dreamer- now we’ll see if there’s any distinct difference between the dreamer themselves and, say, a duplicate created as a distraction.”

Your inquiry as to what he means is answered when you turn around to face him, and instead of one Alastor there are two.

The pulse of heat in your core at being caught in two of those predatory gazes was distracting, but you could put it aside. “Got it. So am I trying to figure this out just visually?”

The Radio Demons speak in unison, twin smiles in place. “You may touch, if you think that will help.”

You let out a nervous breath and approach, reaching out to the one on the left and trailing your fingers down his arm, focusing hard. You repeat the action on the demon to the right, and you can tell immediately that this one is the clone- its different from when you created duplicates, but there’s still something that almost tingles under your fingers when you touch it that gives it away, where the real Alastor hadn’t given off a similar sensation. Just to be sure, you run your hand over the expanse of its shoulders, noticing the way that the demon beside you stiffens ever so slightly, eyes narrowing and smile going tense at the way you’re touching it.

An idea clicks into your head- wicked, devious, something that Alastor would surely disapprove of. But with such an opportunity presented, how could you deny the whim?

You stand in Alastor’s space, much closer than you would normally allow yourself, and crane up on your tiptoes to get in his face. “This is the decoy,” you say confidently, and the one that stands behind you speaks instead of the true version.

“What makes you so sure?” Even the voice is ever so slightly off, a tint to the tone of the voice that you only pick up on because you’re listening so closely. “Choose your words carefully, dear, lest you insult me.”

You shrug, tone nonchalant. “There’s just something about this one,” you say towards the real Alastor, stepping back and circling around him, letting your fingers trail along his coat sleeve. “It doesn’t feel quite as… real as you do.” You turn to face the duplicate, startling a bit when it’s closer than you anticipated. “I think I’ve had enough practice touching you in your dreams to know the real thing.”

“Is that so?” Alastor murmurs behind you, and it takes everything in you not to turn at the sound, lean back into him. “Well then, perhaps you’d care to make a little wager?”

“Maybe.” You feel your shoulders stiffen when he presses against you from behind, chest against the expanse of your back and hands settling on your waist. “What do you have in mind?”

Clone Alastor brings its hands up to cup your face. “If you stay convinced that I am the real Alastor,” it whispers, face coming to one side to whisper tenderly in your ear, “then you win. Your reward can be whatever you would like.”

“However! If I manage to break your conviction and change your mind,”  Alastor says from the other side. “I win. And if I win, my reward is that you allow me to experiment and test your abilities- both within and outside a dream- to my heart’s content.”

“Hmm.” You could always just lie, you supposed- what way would Alastor have of knowing that you were telling the truth? He couldn’t tell now- this would be an easy win for you. And maybe getting to see Alastor get a little jealous would be a nice bonus. “I accept. I’m pretty convinced though.” Just to really sell the point, you press your hands against the chest of the clone, run them over the fabric, tilt your head up to look into its eyes.

Alastor huffs behind you. “Very well. Perhaps you require a reenactment of the things we’ve done in dreams thus far- just to be sure? Make sure that you really recognize the touch.” His hands come up from your waist to cup your breasts, shirt vanishing at the contact and his thumbs brushing softly over your nipples. Your breath leaves you in a shaky exhale, the duplicate stepping ever closer and bringing its lips down to meet yours. 

There’s an underlying current of static to the kiss, something that doesn’t happen when you kiss Alastor. It’s not unpleasant, and you moan into it, playing it up just a tad for the benefit of the demon that stands behind you, letting a soft tremble take over your body that wasn’t entirely for show.

“What do you think, darling?” Alastor drags his tongue up the length of your neck, sharp teeth nipping at your jawline. “Still convinced?” He sucks on the soft skin, almost too hard before pulling back with a kiss to the tender spot. His nimble fingers pluck at the sensitive peaks of your breasts, chest pressing further into the front of the duplicate who licks into your mouth with intent, biting gently at your lips.

“Perhaps you need a bit more to really cement your resolve,” it says into the kiss, bending to nuzzle at your neck on the opposite side from Alastor. “It would be unfair to expect you to guess without all of the same experiences.”

Despite the sensations of pleasure taking over your body, you still find the energy to snark at him, “not guessing. I know.” And twist your fingers into the soft (but not as soft) locks of the clone’s hair, dragging it closer to your skin and grinding your hips against his and the growing erection that you find there.

Snaps sound in unison and their clothes disappear to wherever yours had gone, and a hot length of hardness presses against you from either side- Alastor against the plush curve of your ass and his clone against your pelvis and hip. “By the time I’ve finished,” they say, the static that hisses between them by your head making you dizzy with arousal, “you won’t know anything but my name.”

There are hands sliding down your body then, Alastor slipping a finger into your wetness while his clone thumbs at your clit, both of them gently rutting against your soft skin. You let your head drop back onto Alastor’s shoulder, and the menacing grin that you find on his face forces a shaky exhale from your mouth. “S-seems like a lot of work to change my mind,” you murmur, and he steals your mouth in a bruising kiss.

“Nothing with you is ever work, darling,” he whispers when he pulls back, another finger added to your slick cunt, his fingers crooking against the soft bunch of nerves and making you gasp and arch. The clone drops his head from your shoulder trail nips and kisses down your chest, his tongue circling a nipple and sucking lightly. “I think of it more like an investment in my personal entertainment- and pleasure.” 

You feel the way you clamp down on his fingers at that, and the clone scrapes his teeth against your sensitive breast- you whimper, reaching down to pull its face up so you can meet his mouth as well. When Alastor growls behind you, you ask, “what? Equal screen time is only fair.”

His smile turns treacherous. “You’ll want to keep that in mind, dear- I plan to hold you to it.”

With that his fingers leave you, arousal dripping to the forest floor as his hands come to your shoulders and pull, the same moment that the clone grips your legs and lifts, automatically wrapping them around your waist so you don’t fall. You’re left in the position of some kind of odd bridge between them, left staring up at the stars through the canopy of the trees in the bayou, the questioning of it dying on your lips when the thick cock of the clone pushes into you- slowly, relentlessly, not stopping until he’s buried to the hilt inside of you with his claws digging into the flesh of your hips.

If you hadn’t already been aware that the demon behind you was the real one, the way he hisses through his teeth would have given him away- Alastor can feel it, you know he can, the tight grip of your walls clenching down on the clone’s length somehow happening in duplicate on him, his hands tightening their hold on your upper body where you lean into his chest. And this, at least, doesn’t feel too different from the real thing; the second Radio Demon fills you perfectly, hips pressed flush to yours before pulling back and bucking forward again, a shock of pleasure that ripples through your body and forces a cry from your lips. The angle of the way they’re holding you pushes him right against the sweet spot inside.

When a couple of claw tipped fingers come down to press against your clit in soft circles you’re done for, the strength of your orgasm causing you to whimper and drop your head back against Alastor’s chest, body tensing and shaking as the clone rides out the waves of it. You wait for his release but it doesn’t come- no flood of heat inside of you or spilling onto your exposed skin. Your eyes open, watching the clone through blurry eyes and trying to raise your head up.

Your body is shifting then, shadows emerging from both demons to effectively flip you in the opposite direction, clinging to the duplicate’s chest now as Alastor presses his erection against you again, a couple tendrils of darkness wrapped securely around your waist and legs to support you from below. “What-”

“It’s not a fair game if we don’t both get a turn,” says the Alastor in front of you, grin dangerous as he whispers against your forehead, and you’re being entered again, faster this time since you’re already slick and open and ready for him. The force of it punches the air out of your lungs, exhaling wetly into the chest of the dream manifestation before you.

Claws dig into you, sinfully delicious little marks that you know will appear on your body when you awaken. “Or two turns,” comes Alastor’s staticky voice behind you- or, maybe in front of you? With your eyes clenched shut and your focus so completely on the pleasure being wrung from your body, you can’t quite tell where it’s coming from, which one of them is speaking. You had thought there was a difference in the way they sounded but-

“Maybe three.” 

“Four, even. Equal screen time and all that, like you said. Until we’ve had our fill and you’re absolutely certain which of us is which.” This is accompanied by a sharp thrust of Alastor’s hips, the slapping sound of skin overwhelming in the relative quiet of the bayou. It’s loud and lewd and arousing as anything as he fucks into you, your cunt clamping down with a fierce single-mindedness to keep him inside of you, even as the wetness it creates eases the slide out and back into your body.

“What do you think, dearest?” You can’t even tell which one is speaking any longer, your mouth lolled open against the bare chest of the clone who sweeps a comforting hand over your hair as the real deal fucks you into a cock drunk stupor. “You’re still sure which of us is the duplicate?”

“Y-yes,” you manage, but only because you know that when you started the dream version of Alastor was in front of you. You dig your fingers into his neck and moan, high and unashamed, and feel claws pierce the skin of your hips, a rumbling growl tearing itself from Alastor’s chest. “I- I would know the real thing anywhere- this,” you say, with a forceful, intentional clench around him, knowing you’ll regret this when you wake and all of the aches and bruises appear on your real life body, “is a p-poor imitation .”

He snarls, and you see the shadows of his antlers grow in your peripheral vision. “This poor imitation is going to make you cum, sweetheart, how does that sound?” 

“Like a challenge.”

His laugh is dark, one of the shadows coming up from below you to push and grind hard against your clit above where you’re speared on his length. “Th-that’s cheating!” You cry out; the feeling is intense, almost too soon after your last orgasm, pleasure that teeters on the edge of painful . The clone holds you tighter against his chest, soothing touches to your back and head as you’re made to take the cock inside of you and the tentacle thing that plays you with a mindless conviction. “Oh, God, fuck -”

“You forget that I play to win,” he says simply, his speed increasing, and another tendril of shadow slips into you alongside his cock, narrow and squirming in a different rhythm. “The method matters little if the end result is what I want.”

You choke a little when this orgasm hits you, vision darkening on the edges as your body seizes in his grasp, jerking uncontrollably as the force of it slams into you. Again, there’s no spilling of warmth inside your pussy, Alastor’s release once again postponed for whatever reason.

They pass you back and forth like this for a couple more rounds, each time growing more fervent and rough in their handling of your body while they are inside you, only to brush your hair back from your face and whisper sweet, filthy words into your ear while you cling to their arms and your sanity. Your body is drenched in sweat, inner thighs coated in the evidence of your arousal and orgasms- limbs trembling with the effort to keep your head up and your eyes open. You can’t tell them apart by touch anymore, a hand on your body at any given time as they switch your position and pass you between each other, your mind completely gone as you cum another time, body twitching with the pair of them holding you through it.

Immediately after, you lose the comforting presence on either end of your body when both of them step away from you, another couple of tentacles wrapping around you to keep you still as you pant and shake, body weak and trembling. “Alastor?” They’ve both slipped into the shadows, a whirl of noise in the space around you, and when you open your eyes they’re rematerializing- and fuck, you’re already so overly stimulated that you can’t tell them apart by sight alone either, vision still blurry from the power of your last release. The shadows make a sort of shelf beneath you, allowing you to drop your head back into the gentle embrace of something soft and billowy.

They speak in unison now as they approach. “Final determination now, darling,” they say, a hand on either hip. “Which of us is the real thing?” 

The wager is the last thing on your mind as you turn towards him, desperate for the more solid connection that the real Radio Demon provides in the dream scene. “Alastor,” you whine, reaching for him, digging your nails into what you can reach if his arm. “Please-“

His smile is devious when the duplicate disappears with a puff of smoke and he slots himself between your legs, pushing forward with a sharp snap that has you keening, head falling back as his claws push into the plush flesh of your hips. “It would appear,” he murmurs, “that you’ve lost the wager, dearest- you’ve changed your mind.”

“Don’t care,” you cry out, grip ironclad where you hold him, spare hand coming up to hold his shoulder like a vice. “Please, Alastor, I’m- I can’t go again, please.” Your body is aching and sore, muscles trembling from how many times they’ve tensed and released and shuddered through an orgasm at his hands. You don’t think that you can do it again; it might honestly shove you from the realm of the dream with how overwhelmed you are.

“Darling, darling,” he whispers, drawing his hips back and pushing forward in a steady rhythm, letting his hands run over your hands wherever he can reach and letting a tentacle reach up to rub at your sensitive clit. “You’ve got one more for me, I’m sure of it. Cum for me one more time, sweetness- let me feel you after taking us both and show you much better the real thing is when I flood your cunt with my release.”

Your stomach swoops with sharp arousal- you’ll never get enough of him talking like that, all traces of the prim and proper Radio Demon gone when he’s desperate to orgasm, buried inside your cunt with no radio filter and no thoughts in that lovely head but to drag you over the edge with him. An edge that, currently, is far too close and threatening to destroy you. “Al- Alastor, please, I can’t,” even as the tension pulls ever tighter, the tentacle at the apex of your thighs unrelenting in its focus, legs shaking uncontrollably where Alastor has wrapped them around his waist, his own steady rhythm stuttering. 

“With me, sweetheart,” he says, and the words are tinted like a plea, like he needs it. “Cum with me-” He bends down over you, tongue sliding against yours in your mouth before he turns, teeth sinking into your neck as he spends himself with a muffled groan against your skin, pulses of wet warmth inside of you that have you crying out into the silence of the bayou when your own orgasm tears through you.

You’re shattering- splintering into fractals of consciousness as you’re torn from the space of the dream. 

You don’t immediately wake though- pleasure jolts through you with the force of an arc flash but somehow you’re still asleep, flashes of something zipping by you as your- spirit? Soul? Whatever you currently were, you were catching glimpses along your peripheral vision as you moved; scenes of Alastor’s dreams, moments of his life, his face non-smiling and dark, covered in blood, a bullet hole between his eyes, and there was his mother again, as she had been in the first dream you had seen her.

You feel like taffy, being stretched and compressed hundreds of times over the span of what couldn’t be more than a few moments. You don’t think these are things that Alastor is currently seeing or dreaming about, which means that somehow you’ve gone further into his consciousness than his dreams- you might even be in his subconscious, you think, as you see snippets of a memory with Husker, eyes angry and hurt; Niffty, dirty and bloodstained as Alastor offers her a hand; yourself, the way that he had seen you in the dream with his mother, eyes wide and frightened when you had stepped on the stick that gave your position away.

And then there’s more of you, moments that he had apparently been observing you when you weren’t aware. It’s from his own point of view, eyes dropping down to your hand where it rests on Angel’s forearm at the bar, tracing the line of your arm where it’s draped affectionately over Charlie’s shoulder. He’s watched you everywhere, scenes of yourself in front of the fireplace in his room, curled up on a lobby couch, sitting in the main office with plans for guest events laid out before you, an irritated crease in your brow. You see yourself sleeping in the bed in his room where he had apparently stood over you, a clawed finger reaching out to brush your hair back from your face; there’s a rumbling of speech that you can’t make out as he says something and you stir in your sleep, face going slack with a small smile taking over your features. 

The scene fades, and the sharp pleasure of your explosive orgasm returns with force, your eyes opening in reality with a choked off cry as your body trembles with the aftershocks of it, hand digging into Alastor’s arm where he lays next to you. The overwhelming feeling fades finally, and your muscles go slack against the mattress, finally turning to look at him.

His eyebrows are creased in concentration, smile still present but a bit strained. “Where were you?” He asks softly, and when you cock your head a bit he clarifies- “I was awake. But you were… elsewhere, it would seem.”

You don’t think he’ll appreciate you being in his mind like you were, but you don’t have many other options as far as figuring out what the fuck that was. “I think I was… in your head? Like your thoughts and memories. Sorry,” you add as an afterthought. “I didn’t mean to- I’m still learning, I don’t really understand what happened-”

“You were in my mind despite my being awake?” Alastor doesn’t look upset at the revelation- rather, he looks intrigued. “It seems that your power is changing- how entertaining!” He jumps up from the bed, the clothes he had fallen asleep in rumpled and wrinkled. He doesn’t seem to care as he starts pacing around the bed. “This is all speculation of course, but it would seem to me that the excessive stimulation in my dream has caused another bond to form with your powers- no longer just between your physical and dream forms, but between your powers and the real world. Fascinating!” His grin is wide, manic when he looks back at you. “And what perfect timing, now that I’ve won a wager that allows me all sorts of rights to experimentation with your powers and abilities. We’re going to have such fun with this, darling-” He continues to ramble and you watch him pace as he does, one turn allowing something to catch your eye.

A bruise on Alastor’s collarbone- where you had held him in the dream, your thumb digging into the skin that covered the bone, apparently hard enough to leave a mark. None of the marks you had left on him in the past had ever manifested like this in the real world; his theory about the links between your dream self and reality seeming more plausible, if you could inflict something physical on him from a dream.

Might as well tell him now. “Alastor,” you interrupt him, and rise from the bed to stand before him, brushing your thumb over the discolored flesh. “Look-”

His eyes go dark, dials flickering when he grins down at you. “Another mystery to experiment with,” he says. “We’ll have to determine if the ability to leave physical alterations is limited to just myself- since you spend the most time in my dreams, I would presume your powers have developed a sort of bond to my mind- or if you could do this to others.”

Your hands freeze on his chest. “What do you mean, ‘others?’ I don’t- I’m not doing anything like this with anyone else.” 

“No need to worry, dearest, I didn’t mean the more intimate aspects! I merely meant markings in general- say, if you were to cut someone with your claws, or take a bite from them. Would that manifest in the real world?” His antlers expand, green stitches appearing at the edges of his smile. “Imagine the ease of being able to kill someone in a dream without ever having to be in the room! Oh, the possibilities are thrilling-”

“I’m not doing that.” You let your touch fall from his skin, taking a step back at the clear delight on his face in thinking about you killing someone. “That’s… that’s not what I’m here for, Alastor, I don’t want to use my power like that.”��

“You would rather waste your potential? Regardless, we had a wager, my dear, one that you lost- it was made in a dream but it’s still binding. For the sake of experimenting you’ll do whatever I ask of you; that was the condition, was it not?” Something green glows in his hands- not a chain like you had seen on others with a legitimate soul deal, but something like a rope, a leash. He tugs on it gently, enough to make you lose your balance and stumble forward where it pulls at your wrist.

This was the Alastor you had seen in the first dreams of his- ruthless, bloodthirsty, angry. Gone was the softer version of him that you had come accustomed to, the one you had glimpsed in the dream with his mother, in the memories you had seen. You needed to get away-

No sooner had the thought come than there was a blast of light from your palms, startling Alastor into releasing the cord that tied you to him. Your steps falter backwards and put space between the two of you, no time to think about what had just happened; the hurt look in Alastor’s eyes is the last thing that you see before you turn and bolt from the room.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54459367/chapters/142955671

[synthient]

Matrix parallels aren't the only or primary lens to read this movie through. But I gotta do the special interest shuffle (spoilers for I Saw The TV Glow throughout):

We get at least one overt matrix reference, which is the bit where Owen's movie theater is showing a sci fi movie where humans have been driven underground after machines took over the surface

There's the obvious thematic overlap of "is reality real," "are my memories real," "to what extent is my reality shaped by information/entertainment technology," "is there an Outside to escape to," "would I want to if I could," etc.

The pods and the coffin. "What if I was something powerful and beautiful, suffocating"

There's also some interesting overlap with matrix 4 specifically re "what's the line between transition and suicide," "to what extent is transition a kind of death," to what extent is not transitioning a kind of death." Along with the general stuff around nostalgia and mythologized source materials and hauntology (a term Schoenbrun has used in interviews & that I first heard in a matrix 4 podcast, lmao)

The pods and the heart/luna juice sequence both posit Being Made To Live Like This as a visceral bodily violation

Tv glow is maybe more cynical about the possibility of a true Outside/alternative to the system. Though Zion turns out to not be fully "outside." And Maddy's vision (of a slightly more magical suburbia that still can't escape the confines of "the county") is probably supposed to be less The Only Vision, and more filtered through the lens of someone young and very early transition. Generally though, tv glow is much more focused on interiorty and personal transformation (or lack thereof) than overt politics, although a critique of capitalist suburbia is certainly the background radiation

Also interesting, I think, that "how does kitsch and 'bad art' shape our identity formation" becomes a central question of the later Wachowski oeuvre. And something that's always been present in their work--and has maybe been one of the most polarizing things for viewers--is the combo of "we want to make serious art, And we want to make the kitsch we adored growing up. at the same time." The pink opaque conceit perhaps manages to draw enough of a boundry between The Art and The Kitsch to head off some of the confusion and frustration re "how much of the kitsch is intentional, and how much is an attempt at serious art that failed"

The Family (and the whole concept of having loved ones to leave behind) is basically nonexistent in the matrix trilogy, and Just Evil Robots Don't Worry About It in 4. Tv glow gets much more into this. Though both the saintly mother & and the monstrous father equally serve to keep you trapped, in the end

Anyway. Perhaps the matrix has shaped the entire concept of "trans cinema" to the extent that you kind of have to engage with it on some level. Perhaps it's simply that We Are All Having The Same Thematic/Philosophical Preoccupations. All very interesting regardless, to me

[poppitron360]

Hii! Can I ask for some of your more lighthearted (as in not too angsty) Leo Valdez headcanons?

1. CANNOT SIT ON A CHAIR PROPERLY

FOR THE LIFE OF HIM. YOU COULD POINT A GUN TO HIS HEAD AND HE STILL COULDN’T DO IT.

I NEED MORE FANART OF THIS PLEASE

2. Can in theory breathe fire but doesn’t bc it gives him a really bad sore throat.

3. Still reading TOA- I just found out that Leo’s full name is “Leonidas” (either that or it’s a nickname Calypso gave him, but the fandom seem to agree that it’s his real name) but he HATES it when Calypso calls him that, so my hc is ANNABETH is the ONLY one with “Leonidas” privileges. And that’s bc he’s so fucking terrified of her he doesn’t DARE appose her on it. I feel like she does use it respectfully though.

Hazel is also allowed to use it sparingly.

4. Oh yeah fuck canon Leo and Annabeth are besties and they bond over both being runaways and also engineering/architecture stuff. Leo’s DEFINITELY had a peek around Daedalus’ laptop- his design for an automaton that can house a human soul got him thinking about his mom. He always planned on maybe taking a closer look at those files but then the laptop got lost in Tartar Sauce. I know you said no angst. Whoops.

5. Leo and Hazel start a support group for demigods who have come back from the dead. Every Wednesday in New Rome. Biscuits and Orange Juice will be provided. They call themselves the “YOLTers” (You Only Live Twice- because YOLO is for the weak). Thalia is also a frequent attendee.

6. I hc him as hard of hearing after the explosion in Blood of Olympus. Specifically deaf in his right ear and chronic tinnitus in his left. He uses hearing aids sometimes and also uses ASL and Morse Code to communicate. I choose to view that as wholesome bc we need more disability representation.

7. He is a “Leonidas” ONLY at Starbucks. He then follows it up with a bunch of equally hard-to-pronounce middle names (which he completely made up) said in a rapid-fire Spanish accent and watches the Barista panic as her white ass tries to spell it all. It’s even funnier when she tries to say it back to him when giving him his order. He takes the cup (leaves a generous tip) and says “but usually I just go by Leo” and walks away.

That is pretty much my entire understanding of American culture right there-

8. Trains autistic. He loves them. In the one I’m currently reading- The Dark Prophecy- Calypso and Apollo go on a train without Leo and I’m just imagining them getting back and him being “But what kind of train was it? Standard gauge or narrow gauge? Man, I love narrow gauge trains. Did you know that there’s this place in Wales called the Ffestiniog railway, where they have this special type of locomotive where the engine- the sicky-outy bit- is like, either side of the locomotive, so that there’s no need for a turntable-“

Okay I might also love narrow gauge trains (I’ve been on the Ffestiniog railway, it is amazing) (Also that is not a typo, in Welsh I believe the double f makes a soft sound (like in “off”) and a single f makes a hard sound, more like a v (like in “of”) you learn a new thing every day!)

9. Ambidextrous but Left-hand dominant (Often has to specify to his tool belt that he needs left-handed tools)

10. When speaking will put weird pauses in the middle of a sentence and not stop between sentences like talkingreallyfastwhenhe’sreally exited and talking slowly when he’s tiredit’skindaweird and choppy like hisbrainisgoing a million times faster than hismouth.

11. His favourite Disney film is Frozen.

12. When he’s comfortable around you, you start to hear more of his hispanic accent.

13. Said it before, will say it again. Headcannon no. 13 is ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL “They’re a Swiftie.”

He has to listen to music as a way of not being alone with his thoughts. I discovered Taylor at a young age, and she has remained one of the few consistencies in my life since then. She got me through some tough times (Not as bad as Leo, but she helped me survive 2020). I feel like Leo would be the same- not always knowing where he’ll be sleeping that night or if food will be on the table, he’d want comfort, stability. Taylor would be there.

14. He wakes Frank up at 3am with “Hey I can’t read that what does that say?” “…Leo you wrote this. You’re telling me you can’t read your own writing?” Little does Leo know that Percy came in with exactly the same request half an hour before. Frank is finding being the only non-dyslexic on the ship incredibly frustrating.

15. Has the philosophy “anything is a fidget toy if you fidget with it” and STICKS to it

16. If Piper sees an item of clothing with an ungodsly amount of pockets, she is contractually obligated to buy it for him.

17. Eats cheese straight off the block. Like doesn’t even bother cutting it, he just *noms* straight into the block of cheese like it’s a chocolate bar. Similarly also eats Nutella straight outta the jar, sometimes without even using a spoon (and y’all know he doesn’t wash his hands).

18. Slightly more immune to electric shocks than normal bc of his way with machines (Valgrace nation do with that what you will)- similar to how Percy, as seen in botl, is a little bit fireproof.

19. You can’t tell me that during his first quest with Jason and Piper, they didn’t at least once triple-spoon with Leo in the middle bc he’s warmest.

20. In fact, “Cuddle Leo” is a common pastime for Jasiper. Particularly when it’s cold.

21. HE. CAN. SEW.

I saw a lot of people hc that Leo makes Percabeth’s wedding rings but that is factually incorrect. TYSON makes the ring. LEO makes Annabeth’s dress. I just started this fic where Annabeth, Piper, Leo, Reyna, and Rachel all go wedding dress shopping for Leo to get ideas, but he makes absolutely the most BEAUTIFUL gown for her- much better than any store. It puts all other wedding dresses to shame.

22. He can also knit, crochet (This hc was supplied by my mum who I’ve forced to read Heroes of Olympus), weave, and do macramé. He’s gone down rabbit holes about old-fashioned lacemaking. Him and Annabeth have sewing/crafting competitions at camp and on the Argo.

23. Autistic hand-flappy stim

24. He watches Stand-Up Comedy specials with Jason. I feel like if he wasn’t a mechanic he’d be a comedian (or run a taco truck, like Jason suggested in TLH). He takes his friends to as many comedy shows as he can. He loves them.

25. A Valgrace hc but it relates- while I was thinking up ways for Leo/Jason to propose (just a regular day in my brain), I had an idea for Leo to take Jason to one of those comedy shows that does crowd-work, and sits in the front row to get their attention. When the comedian asks who they are, Leo introduces Jason as his fiancé. When Jason goes, “Wait, no I’m not!” Leo yells “WELL WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE?” And gets down on one knee.

Also, sorry it’s taken me so long to respond. I’ve had this saved to my drafts and I’ve been slowly adding to it every time I get a new headcanon.

[tianasimstreehouse]

Occult Recipebook

Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and caldron bubble.

INTRO

Occult gameplay is up there with one of my favourite ways to play. Food is a part of our Sims lives, and should also be for occults so that they can cook up their preferred foods.

This Occult Recipebook is a collection of custom recipes (food and drink) for Occult Sims in the Sims 4.

I have started off this occult culinary journey with: ✨SPELLCASTERS✨

I have plans to later create foods for each occult life state, so I will keep adding to the recipe book.

“Spellcasters” as a life state can be played in so many different ways: they can range from gnarly evil witches who practice black magic and eat bird entrails, to happy little fairies who live in cottages surrounded by woods and flowers! I have tried to include a little bit of everything in the recipes I have created. These foods are a mix of fairy, fantasy, green garden witch, apothecary, or black-magic sorcerer etc. 

They effect Spellcasters and/or human Sims in many weird and wonderful ways.

E.g. Nettle Tea which helps teenagers suffering with acne, Milk Thistle Biscuits which leave the consumer with prickly thistles in their tongue, and Eye of Newt Soup which most Sims will find disgusting but which Spellcasters will happily slurp up.

RECIPES

39 new recipes for your Spellcasters!

~ Realm of Magic is required for these recipes ~

**there's a fair amount of pack-integration, and be sure to read the pack recommendations on the Patreon post for each recipe** to make sure nothing is missing or glitching.

Meals Dandelion Salad - increases SCs gardening skill, fills PlantSims' hunger Nettle Soup Soft-Boiled Golden Eggs - makes Sims glow and glitter Pumpkin Pasties Pomegranate Halves Eye of Newt Soup - makes other Sims feel sick Valerian Root Pie - other Sims won't like this dish Elderberry Jam Toast Toadstool Soup - inspires SCs, normal Sims won't like this dish Salamander Stew - other Sims won't like this dish Spiced Honey Bread - SCs will gain all skills faster Raised Newt Pie - makes other Sims feel sick Dragon Livers - Werewolves will love these and normal Sims won't Raised Phoenix Pie - Sims will randomly breathe fire for a while and feel confident

Desserts Milk Thistle Biscuits - chance to get uncomfortable thistles in tongue Huckleberry Jam Cream Puffs - makes SCs playful Fairy Bread Soul Cakes Huckleberry Pie Juniper Berry Jam Biscuits Honeycomb Cakes - SCs will gain all skills faster Valerian Custard Tart Toadstool Cookies Cursed Cookies - wouldn't recommend eating these... serve them to enemies! Eating one may leave the SC eater cursed. Good Sims will sense the evil inside and get sad Canning *Requires Cottage Living Canning Skill Gooseberry Jam Elderberry Jam Rosehip Jelly Drinks *Bar/alcoholic drinks require Mixology skill, and a Bar. Acorn Coffee (*coffee machine) Pumpkin Juice Willow Bark Tea - A home remedy to cure most illnesses, food poisoning etc Sage Tea - soothes stress and anger, SCs are focused and improve logic skills faster Nettle Tea - helps teens suffering from acne Lavender Tea - makes Sims flirty Mugwort Tea - reduces fear or panic Butterbeer - gives SCs confidence Mandrake Ale Nettle Wine Dandelion Wine Elderberry Wine

INFO & DOWNLOAD (early access): https://www.patreon.com/posts/79514896?pr=true Milk & Cookies: Now! Sugar Cookies: May 24th Public: May 31st

Pro tip for Windows PC users: Please make sure to delete the MACOSX folders/files that can appear after you extract the mod's files, otherwise the game may throw an error and not load at all.

TRANSLATIONS Polish - ❤️ Daisy1728, find their translation over here French - ❤️ Heidi / LuniverSims, find their translation here

[rorywritesjunk]

Let's be one another's present tense

Buggy 'rescues' you from an abusive situation, and after a less than stellar introduction, he has you audition for his crew to keep you safe. You want safety, security, and joining a circus seems like the best idea. Rating: R-ish for now. Warning: First chapter has bruises and talks about abuse (not from Buggy), though Buggy has his explosive moments. There's an asshole much older ex-husband in this story. Swearing. Nose bonks. A/N: This has been sitting in my head as I worked it out for an Anon's request. I have been really intrigued by this and wanted it to be just right. Also, it gave me the chance to ask my circus obsessed friend about different routines and we bounced some ideas off each other. This is also a touch different than other things I've written, which is why I've been taking so long to work on it and get it posted. Enjoy! Title comes from "Crater Lake" by Lady Lamb.

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 (NC-17) + Chapter 10 + Chapter 11 + Chapter 12 + Chapter 13 + Chapter 14 + Chapter 15 (NC-17) + Chapter 16 (NC-17) + Chapter 17

Chapter 1

“So we have a deal then?”

“Yes… yes, we have a deal.”

The clown pirate grinned at the old man sitting across from him. Buggy cheerfully cut a chunk out of the apple in his hand with his knife, tossing it into his mouth before he suddenly slammed the knife down onto the table, letting it stick into the wooden table top. The old man jumped while you flinched as you stood beside him. The bartering to keep the town safe from Buggy and his crew had finally finished and now it was just an uncomfortable time to be in the room.

Buggy looked at you and winked before he retrieved his knife, turning his attention back to the old mayor. “That your daughter there? She’s cute.” 

“No, she’s my wife.” He replied; Buggy had just taken a bite of the apple only to spit it out across the desk at the man in mock surprise. The man did his best not to react while you covered your mouth with a look of disgust on your face.

“Wife?” Buggy chuckled. “You have one foot in the grave and you’re married to someone who looks young enough to be your daughter?” He shook his head. “And people think pirates can be disgusting. They don’t really care what their local politicians are up to, do they?” Buggy took another bite of the apple, giving you a once over before he grinned. “Throw her into the deal.”

“I-I suppose we-” The mayor started but you cut him off.

“No, I’m not going with some disgusting pirate like you!” You snapped. “Who knows what you would do to me!”

Buggy locked eyes with you in that moment, the playful attitude gone and replaced with something you couldn’t quite figure out. He stood up and approached you, knife in one hand and apple in the other. The mayor just sat and watched, trembling in his seat, refusing to do anything to protect you. The captain smiled at you as the knife cut into the apple; you could hear the fruit cracking from the force of the knife, saw the juice spill over his fingers, soaking into his gloved hands.

“What did you say about my nose?” He asked, voice eerily calm as he tossed the bit of apple into his mouth. 

“I didn’t say anything about your nose.” You spat as you looked him up and down, crossing your arms. “Though I doubt I could say anything about it that you haven’t heard before.”

He smiled at that before raising the knife up and throwing it into the wall behind you. You turned to see where it landed but his hand was on your throat, backing you up to the wall and next to the knife. Buggy held you there for a moment, the smile disappearing as his hand tightened its hold on you. 

“You’ve got quite the mouth on you.” He murmured as you grabbed his hand with yours, trying to pull him off you. Buggy suddenly smirked and let go of you. “You’ll fit in with my crew. Though, I should warn you, every time you mouth off I cut off a bit of your tongue.”

You rubbed your throat, breathing heavily as you turned to your husband. “You’re… you’re just going to let him take me?!”

“He’ll destroy the town if I don’t!” The mayor wailed. “I can’t allow that to happen! Sa-Sacrifices have to happen!”

“I’m not a sacrifice!” You exclaimed as your hand went to where Buggy was just touching you. You felt… weird from that, never having been touched in that manner before. You were used to aggression, pain, fear. His touch was… strong but there didn’t seem to be malice, but more of a performance. He caused you discomfort but there wouldn’t be a bruise left on you from him that you could tell. You shook your head and looked back at Buggy. “What do you plan to do to me?”

“Target practice, maybe.” Buggy shrugged. “I got this new thing I wanna try where I cut off a volunteer’s clothes with my knife throwing, y’know. Getcha right where the seams of your clothes are and see if I can cut through them.” He looked you up and down as he reached out to touch the fabric of your blouse. “Though, this is nice fabric, I don’t know if I want to risk damaging it.”

You slapped his hand away before turning to slap your ‘husband’. He recoiled at your touch but you didn’t care. He had no issue giving you up to some dirty pirate like this. Sacrifice? You were not some animal to be led for slaughter, you were a person, and you would take out Buggy and his crew even if it killed you. As you turned to face Buggy, he was already at the door of the office, but a hand was in front of you, holding a small red ball. With a squeeze, red smoke burst out of it and everything went dark.

~

The rope around your wrists was tight, scraping and irritating your skin. You were groggy as you came to but you were on a soft surface, fabric rubbing against your cheek almost comfortingly as you tried to get your head to stop spinning and for the nausea to cease. It took a few minutes for you to recall what your last moments were. Slapping a hand, your ex-husband, and some kind of smoke. 

Oh shit you were captured by a pirate. A clown pirate with a bright red nose who was sensitive about it.

You moved your tongue around in your mouth, relieved that it was still whole. He didn’t cut it out yet, but was that empty threat or was he really going to do it? And what was he actually planning on doing with you? Stories often went around about pirates and what they were known to do to their prisoners, and you had heard many of them to give you some idea what to expect. Would he kill you after he was done with you, or would he kill you first and toss you into the sea to be food for the fishes and sea kings?

Heavy footsteps were approaching your room. You shut your eyes, hoping whoever it was would see you were asleep and would leave you alone. 

Except that was expecting too much. 

“Get up.” Buggy said as he walked over to the bed and grabbed the rope, pulling you into a sitting position. You glared up at him and he smirked, patting you on the cheek just enough to emit sound without the sting of a slap. “Rise and shine, cupcake. We need a new freak out there and you gotta earn your keep.”

“I will do no such thing.” You snapped as he pulled you up to your feet. Your body was still feeling the effects of the smoke and when you stood up you were off balanced, falling into him. To your surprise, he caught you, steadying you on your feet before he led you out of the room and down a walkway to another. You didn’t want to follow him, choosing to let your legs give out and falling to the floor. He stopped and turned to look at you.

“Really?” He shook his head and picked you up, slinging you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “You haven’t even had one performance and you’re already acting like a diva.” 

“Excuse me?!” You wriggled around, trying to get him to drop you, but he laid his hand over your back, steadying you as he walked. “Put me down now!”

“You seem to think you can tell me what to do, cupcake.” He chuckled as his hand slid from your back down to the top of your ass. Without warning he gave you a pinch, causing you to yelp in surprise. “You may have been that loser mayor’s wife, but here? You’re just another freak like us.”

He set you down in a chair and stood behind you. There was a mirror in front of you with lights all around it. You didn’t want to be looking in the mirror right then, seeing the bruises on your face, the black eye that was healing, or the cut on your cheek that was scabbing over. You shut your eyes and took a deep breath. What was this clown playing at?

“Now, we both know I didn’t do that to your face.” He murmured as he put both of his hands on your shoulders and leaned down towards you. “That old man did, didn’t he?” He touched the cut and you jerked away. “Weird, he seemed scared of you back there.”

“He was scared of you.” You hissed as you opened your eyes to glare at him. Buggy put his hand on your other cheek and you flinched, jerking backwards and nearly headbutting him. “Don’t touch me!”

“Cupcake, I just gotta do your makeup.” He told you calmly as he moved just in time from getting a bloody nose. “Cover up your battle scars, y’know. Can’t have the audience thinkin’ we rough up our performers here.”

You jerked again in your seat, trying to get out of reach of him. You didn’t want him touching you, speaking to you, or being near you. You didn’t want to go home but you didn’t want to be here. Why did this happen to you? 

“Red lipstick would look wonderful on you, y’know.” He murmured as he leaned forward, looking at your face. “Or maybe I just throw you out there and let me and Cabaji practice our knife act on you.” He grinned. “I don’t want to waste makeup on you if you’re going to start crying out there.”

“Fuck you!” You spat as you threw your head forward, colliding with his nose. He reared back, swearing loudly as he clutched it while you slumped in the chair, dazed. You didn’t think it would do anything but he fell to the ground on his ass, stomping his feet in pain from the hit.

“Agh, you bitch! Why there?!” He shrieked, covering it with his hand as he tried to breathe through the pain. “Fuck, is your head a cannon ball? It felt like being hit by one!”

You lifted your bound hands to your head, rubbing your forehead. You could say the same thing about him, but then again you didn’t make it a habit of headbutting strange men. Your head felt a little rattled from the attack and the sharp pain in your forehead was throbbing.

“I didn’t think I’d hit your nose!” You shot back as you shut your eyes in pain. “Fucking asshole!”

He gave your chair a kick before getting to his feet, cursing you, headbutts, and noses before storming out of the room and leaving you by yourself. Your head was still hurting and you wondered if you were going to have a new bruise to add to the collection, but at least this one was from self defense, and you'd do it again to him if you had the chance. 

“Fucking clown.” You sighed as you leaned back in your seat. You needed to figure out what was going to happen next.

[weirdmageddon]

💿⚛️ davejade headcanons

sorry for leaving you guys waiting on this for like a week lol i kept being like “tomorrow for sure” but falling asleep but anyway here it is. i might add more to this if i think if anything but reblogs might not reflect the up to date source version so you can always find it here

most of these are pointing out stuff thats basically canon anyway but whatever lol. basically canon headcanons

dave tries to impress jade to get her attention because he likes her

this ones for you *misses hoop by 5 feet*

he doesnt mind jade’s inane riddles honestly. he isn’t perturbed by how she just knows things like rose is, because he doesnt think into it too far. he trusts her

he spends a lot of time indulging in her interests and showers her in his music and poetry

they draw things for each other a lot <3 jade has the pictionary modus and seems pretty good at drawing and of course dave sent her sbahj as furries in the mail. sending jpegs over the internet is BABY NONSENSE. real boys send their childhood friend/crush pictures they drew for them through the INTERNATIONAL POSTAL SYSTEM to an unspecified island in the middle of nowhere, pacific ocean that gets packages dropped by plane so the recipient can tangibly hold it and hang it in their room

actually i was going through the commentary and hussie addresses it as such:

“Also notice her SBaHJ furry poster, which was clearly a very thoughtful gift from Dave”

aww

jade would give dave a "cool" plushie of a tiger or something nd he keeps it on his desk . froot’s beautiful idea

he loves her plushie sensibilities. so much less unnerving than his bro’s phallic puppets. they're still soft but no cognitive dissonance this time about the softness coming from foam puppet ass hoorayyy

theyre still reading homestuck on act 4 but they understood them instantly

jade humors dave’s ironic cool facade because it makes dave feel more comfortable without feeling too exposed, but it’s because of this that he feels like he can open up to her because she isnt prying. (im still not over the smile here btw. only jade could make dave smile after a fucked evening where he spilled juice on his turntables and accidentally skewered an innocent crow with his sword and broke his window this mf is TYPING. also getting a bit of joy out of the fact that the only visible suit on his cards-themed bedcover in this panel is a heart)

but he knows that jade is not unaware of what he's hiding. couldnt even refute her lol

from the knight’s perspective, it’s “i’m not as [blank] as i appear. i want you know that about me if i know you well and trust you, or i DON’T want you to know that about me if i DON’T know you well. the reason is that i want to know that i can trust you to avoid turning my insecurity into a Whole Thing”

basically she allows dave to take initiative when HE feels comfortable and confident in sharing the things he’s self-conscious about. this really helps him be comfortable and form a strong bond with her

dave would wrap his arms around her to “ironically” imitate a pair of tangle buddy squiddles (while actually concealing genuine affection basically unbeknownst to himself) but he winds up looking just a little too into it for just an “ironic” bit yall……

jade is slower to realize her deeper feelings since she shows love to everyone (so long as theyre deserving of it!!!) it just hits her one day that she actually Likes him in a special way, while for dave it is more dynamic and gradual but very on the downlow, expressed in creative acts and services

once dave actually recognizes he’s really caught feelings for her down the line, dave and jade happily do the tangle buddies hug all the time. its like their handshake. its their weird couple thing

these two when together as a unit they do not give a shit about what other people think of them

this shit lol:

Creative Fucking Powerhouse the two of them

davejade ass song to me

jade is quite spacey and super appreciates dave’s level-headedness and steady pragmatism while at the same time not being a rigid stick in the mud about it. for example when they were acting as each others’ server players dave was advising her but it was appreciated by jade

sorry its just literally socionics duality LITERALLY THIS IS THEMMM (also i spent WAY too much time making these graphics and integrating texts from multiple sources please appreciate it)

fittingly with that, as ouroborista writes about the opposite space-time aspect dichotomy,

Space and Time are the fundamental Aspect pair. Their job is to make shit take place. To create novelty. Between them they span not only all of existence but also the inseparable twin approaches of any creative project. Space goes for breadth, for ideas, for expansive, holistic input, while Time goes for needlepoint focus and a rapid-turnover ability to pull through on the prompt. There’s a reason why these are the two Aspects necessary for any successful session of SBURB.

jade is literally always having a little giggle about him. dave is a funny guy. lame court jester ass boyfriend

he’d draw his post-ironic fursona and show it to her with the usual deadpan expression on his face, eyes obscured by his shades. but jade will look at it and when he sees her smile and laugh it makes it all worth it. his cheeks feel warm and he’ll smile slightly like “heh heh”. dave the type to smile like an idiot over anything jade does like his mouth keeps making a thin line and hes trying to fight it but . Jade

dave thought jade looked absolutely stunning in her 3 in the morning dress his mouth probably stupidly hung open the tiniest amount seeing her after swapping into it

of course she only wears it for what she considers "very special occasions"…..spending time with dave seemed to be a very special occasion :)

jade think dave looks sharp in his suits!!

imagine jade adjusting daves crooked bowtie and lapel and his palms start to sweat and he darts his eyes from behind his shades and chews the inside of his cheek she making him nervous bro 💯

jade is definitely the teaser and dave is the teased. still i dont think jade teases dave as much as john and rose which is why he feels more comfortable opening up to her about his shit. her teasings are much lighter and inconsequential

despite how funny and informal he is dave is a classy well-put-together romantic. he is responsible and harmonious in how he choses to present himself. remember when he got secondhand embarrassment from rose when she was drunk before her date with kanaya and he suggested to her and kanaya that the two reschedule? … he’d NEVER do something like that. sober. suit is ON. hair is neatly combed. he is right on time, not too early not too late, and his first words are “yo whats up”

dave has this designated driver energy about him

after dogtiering jade’s dog ears can perk and flatten, adding even more expressiveness

jade has so many hobbies and interests i think she’d get dave into horticulture somehow unironically

theyre both the kinda mf to ask “would you still love me if i were a worm”

dave’s hands are warm

jade’s skin can be cool to the touch in some places like the back of her arms or shoulders and dave places his hands there to warm them. or by rubbing them or something

idk just some associations space is cool and time is warm to me. the vaccuum of space is cold and time is associated with gears which are associated with generating heat and dave’s classical element is fire and jade’s is earth and her planet is initially covered in snow and daves is covered in lava idk…. just makes symbolic sense i guess but its also cute in its own right

dave would love going to the beach with jade on earth c cause the ocean is so boob i mean boob i mean boob i m,ean boob i mean SHIT . blue. blue

this Fucking animation bro

she infodumps about science and he sits his ass down to listen

jade does this (excuse the fact that the url is roselalonde)

[pls-hold-me-im-justa-weeb]

Torn Apart- Final Chapter

So this is the final chapter of my little series. It's a little ambiguous, but focuses on the reader's freedom to do as they like, which is pretty much the main thing Luffy cares about. Remember, you can commission alternative endings.

Warnings: Conflicted emotions, talk of leaving family, lots of crying, missing people, conflict with Zoro.

WC: 9.6k

The next morning you woke to a gentle knock on your door. It was Sanji bringing you breakfast, as he’s done every day for the last week. 

“Mon Ange, I’m here with your breakfast!” 

You sat up with a yawn, blearily opening your eyes. You blinked at him as he set up your breakfast at the small table. 

“Mornin, Sanji” you murmured. Law’s proposition swirled back into your half-asleep thoughts and you sighed deeply. You could tell Sanji was looking at you curiously but with also a little bit of worry. 

“Did you sleep well?” he asked, pouring some coffee and juice. Law finally allowed you to have your caffeine fix when he was certain it wouldn’t cause harm to you, which was 4 days after the surgery. You shook your head honestly. 

“No, not really.” 

Sanji’s curled eyebrows drew together slightly, creasing the smooth skin. 

“Bad dreams?” 

“No, just restless” you said. It was a half-truth. You were actually restless and part of the issue was that you just felt like you’ve rested too long, but the other part was because of Law’s proposition. He brought you the steaming cup of coffee and helped you sit up with a hand between your shoulder blades. You couldn’t help but notice how warm he was, and how you didn’t feel any callouses scraping over your shirt. He was so different compared to Law and Zoro. You knew you shouldn’t compare people, but you just couldn’t help it. 

“Thanks” you murmured as you settled upright.

“It’s only natural,” he said with a smile. He handed you the coffee and fluffed the pillows supporting your back. He seemed to notice that you were distracted, but didn’t push the topic so soon after you waking up. You leaned back into the cushions and took a deep breath, smelling the rich scent of coffee, prepared just the way you liked. You stared into space as you took a few sips, letting your body wake up. Your attachment sites were stinging, but less than before when you were learning to eat. You had enough control now to use both hands to tip the large, half-filled mug to your lips. You still occasionally clacked it harshly against your lips and teeth, but it was better than not having arms. 

“Law says that I can have Chopper help give me a bath today” you said quietly. Sanji looked at you from fussing over the place setting with an inquisitive look. 

“Yeah? You must feel relieved. I still think you are just as lovely as any other day,” he said flirtatiously. You smiled a little at him. 

“Always the flirt” you teased. He smiled back, hands clasped in front of his chest. 

“Especially for you, mon Ange,” he said with a dramatic bow. You giggled, and he looked up at you with awe. You stood, and he held a hand out to help you up. You placed your cold, metal one in his, and he kissed it lightly before taking his other arm and placing it in the middle of your back. He didn’t really need to help you up, but you savored how warm his hand was in yours. You could also feel how hot the coffee mug was, clasped in your free hand. You were starting to feel more heat-like sensations, but you knew you couldn’t get burned. It was really rather strange. 

Once you were standing, he pulled out your chair like a gentleman and then sat across from you. He kept you company while you ate, eating his own breakfast with you. It almost felt… domestic. You loved it. He began chatting about various topics, but he slowly brought up the idea of you coming back to the ship. You swallowed hard. 

“Sanji… I want to ask you something,” your tone was serious and he looked at you with surprise before becoming serious as well. 

“Anything, my dear.” 

You took a deep breath and let it out, looking down at your half-finished plate. 

“What if I were to live somewhere else for a while, just while I was healing? Do you think that Luffy would allow that? Do you think I’d have to learn how to live with Zoro again? I haven’t seen him at all… and I don’t know how to go back to the crew with him there,” you said in a hushed voice. Sanji froze after your first question. You kept your eyes on his hands, resting on the table. He finally raised them and folded them under his chin. 

“Would you want to live somewhere else while you were healing?” he asked. You shrugged, and winced at the action that pulled at your surgery scars. 

“Maybe. I love you guys and I’ll miss you so much if I do, but Luffy can be chaotic. I’m scared about getting into a situation that I can’t handle because I’m not healed enough yet. I’m not strong like you, Luffy, and Zoro. I don’t heal as fast as you guys,” you answered honestly. After you finished speaking, you finally looked into Saji’s visible eye. He had a soft expression on his face, but it was unreadable. He sighed and sat back in his chair. 

“Luffy will tell you to do what you need to do. He’ll tell you to do what you want, because you’re free. If you want to live somewhere else, then do it. I’m assuming this is about Law?” he asked. You flinched at how accurate he was. 

“He invited me to stay here while I heal, but also said I could join the crew,” you said quietly. Sanji only nodded. 

“You should do what you feel is right. You’re not tied down to any of us. We love you and will miss you should you choose to stay here. I think you should talk to the crew about it. If you’re ready, talk to Zoro, and see what’s going on. He’s an idiot marimo, but he’s still a crewmember. Take your bath on the Sunny, and spend some time there. That might make your decision easier.” 

You nodded at his advice. He smiled at you. 

“But in the meantime, get your energy up by eating the rest of your breakfast” he said kindly. You smiled at him as well. 

“Thank you, Sanji” you said. He smiled at you happily. 

“I’ll do anything to see you smile like that at me,” he said softly. It was different from his usual over-the-top flirting, and was sincere. Your breath hitched and you felt your face warm as you met his gaze shyly. You didn’t answer, feeling too flustered. You ate the rest of your breakfast, much more at ease now that you had a plan for your day. 

Law came to your room soon after you finished eating. Sanji was stacking plates and was back to his old self, pining after you the same as he does Robin and Nami. Law didn’t even react to the cook, simply choosing to interrupt the blond.

“Do you want to try walking there or do you want me to teleport us to the Sunny's deck from here? I’ll have to teleport us from our deck since I don’t want you climbing anything yet” Law asked. You thought briefly. 

“I haven’t really had a chance to see your ship. I want to walk and see it!,” you say excitedly. Law only replies with a grunt, ignoring Sanji’s immediate lecture on how that was no way to treat someone of your beauty. The door opens and he walks out, looking at you expectantly. You take a few steps, excited to finally get out of your room. The hallway is mainly plated with silvery metal, and bright lights shine down. Being a submarine, you expected it to be somewhat dark and wet, but this was a pleasant surprise. 

“It’s brighter than I thought” you noticed. Law side-eyed you. He acted completely different when he was in front of Sanji. 

“The lights are ones often used in winter islands, and they provide artificial sunlight basically. It provides vitamin D and it also simulates the time if it were to be a bright, spring day. No short days and long nights” he said with a tinge of pride. You blinked up at the lights, before looking immediately away, their shape singed into your retinas for a brief second. He lead you through the bright halls, and you greeted the crew you ran into with a smile and a wave. The hallways were narrow, but not horribly so. You went up some stairs, and the exertion was catching up with you. Sanji was behind you, and you knew he was staring at your ass but you also knew he had his hands hovering behind you to catch you in case you stumbled. At the top of the stairs, you paused, breathing heavily. Law’s clinical gaze swept over your body, and placed two fingers on your neck to feel your pulse. Your stomach swooped. His brows furrowed. 

“Take a little break and get your heartrate down. Are you hurting?” he asked as he pushed up the sleeves of your short-sleeve shirt to look at your surgery sites. They were stinging in time with your heart rate, and you nodded slightly. 

“Just a little. It throbs with a sting in time with my heart rate” you answer honestly. Law checked your other surgery site, and ended up brushing Sanji out of the way. He side-stepped with an indignant huff that brought an amused smile to your lips. 

“They’re fine, but rest them once you get to the Sunny, okay? Let Chopper-ya do most, if not all, the work.” 

You nodded, breathing easier now. It was another minute before Law allowed you to walk again, and you spent it wavering between frustration at your weakened body and daydreaming about the bath on the Sunny. You heard the two men speak a little, but tuned them out. Law finally started walking again, and Sanji brought you back to reality with a hand on your arm. You smiled a little to yourself at the realization you could feel his touch. You followed after Law, and it was a short walk to the deck of the submarine. You squinted a little against the sunlight, but it wasn’t much of a difference between the light in the halls and outdoors. 

“Ready?” Law asked. You nodded, nervous and excited to be back on your ship. 

“Find your own way up, Black Leg-ya” Law said quickly. Sanji rolled his eyes, but leapt onto the ship easily. Law took the opportunity to pull you closer to him by the waist, and held out his hand, summoning his power. Butterflies erupted in your stomach and your face felt a little hot.

“Room. Shambles.” 

You had closed your eyes, figuring that it would be less vertigo-inducing to not see the transportation. Your eyes opened as soon as you felt grass beneath your feet, and you looked up excitedly. Law let you go, and you ran up to your crew as they yelled your name. You hugged everyone, even if your attachment sites ached. Some tears were shed by Frankie, Usopp and Brook when you showed them how much you’ve improved. You didn’t know exactly how Brook could shed a tear, but you didn’t think too much about it. As the crew settled down, you finally could see that the entire crew was there. Zoro was sitting quietly to the side, looking at the waves. Your heart dropped, and your adrenaline spiked. The apple you had grabbed to hand to Luffy erupted in your strong fist, and he laughed in surprise at the trick before seeing your expression. Everyone soon grew quiet, unsure whether to intervene. You began to panic at the anxious attention, and Zoro looked up with the lack of chatter, but met your gaze instead. He froze at whatever expression you had. Your breathing came faster and faster, your heart pounding. Voices were muffled and you thought you saw a blue dome expanding over your vision before your vision blurred. You thought you were fainting, but your surroundings changed and snapped back into focus. You were in the changing area outside the Sunny’s bath area. You were sitting on a bench, and Law was crouched in front of you. 

“Hey… listen to my voice. Can you hear me?” his deep voice washed over you, and your gaze snapped to him. You were still tense, and you swore you could smell blood and smoke. Law continued to speak. 

“Good. Listen. I’m going to walk you through a breathing exercise. We need to get your heart rate and blood pressure down.” 

Sudden searing, white hot pain made you jolt with a scream, and your arms felt useless. You didn’t have arms. Cold hands grabbed your face, and you blinked away tears. When did you start crying? 

“You're safe. It hurts because of your heart rate, okay? You’re okay. You’re going to be okay. I know it hurts” he said softly. You looked into his eyes, and could finally breathe enough to start hyperventilating. 

“Good. I’m going to count, and you’re going to breathe, okay? Breathe in for me- 1…2…3… and breathe out- 1…2…3… Again. I know it hurts but it’ll get better. Follow me. Breathe in- 1…2…3… and out 1…2…3… Good. One more time” he walked you through the breathing efficiently, his voice calm and soft, yet with an air of authority you couldn’t disobey. His thumb traced your eyebrows, and though it was odd at first, it brought a feeling of calm and comfort. You finally could breathe normally, and you huffed out a wet laugh. 

“I’m such an idiot” you murmur. Law shakes his head with a sigh. 

“You’re not. Did you know he would be here?” he asked softly. You shook your head. 

“I should’ve. This is where he lives. I just haven’t seen him since the night he… you know.” 

Law traces your eyebrows one more time before smoothing your hair down, then trailed his fingers to your shoulders. He didn’t say anything. 

“What’s with the eyebrows thing?” you asked. He looked at you with a soft smile. 

“It’s something that soothed me as a kid, and it even works on my crew. I don’t know why it does though” he said with a slight blush. You smiled a little. You heard a little knock on the door. Your body tensed, thinking back to when Zoro used to knock on your doorframe like that

“It’s Chopper!” the small reindeer called. You slumped in relief, and Law went to open the door. Chopper bounded up to you, giving you a hug with his arms thrown around your neck. You nuzzled his fur a little out of habit. 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t think Zoro would scare you like that” he babbled. You pressed a small kiss to his cheek. 

“It’s okay. I should’ve known he’d be here” you murmured. Chopper pulled back, eyes watery. 

“Do you want your bath now?” he asked. You nodded, feeling grimy and exhausted. 

“Yes, please” you whispered. Law took this as his cue to leave, clicking the door shut behind him. You looked back at Chopper, taking in his adorable look of concentration as he ran gentle hooves over your surgery sites. You flinched a little at the sensitivity, and he pulled back immediately, looking at you with wide, concerned eyes. 

“Sorry! Did that hurt?” 

You shook your head, a small smile on your face. 

“No, it’s just really sensitive,” you answered honestly. Chopper breathed a sigh of relief, and you smelled candy on his breath. You grinned at him. 

“Have you been eating too much candy again?” you asked teasingly. The poor little reindeer looked at you in shock before sheepishly smiling at you. 

“It’s just my daily limit. I’m a doctor after all” he answered with a giggle. You laughed with him. 

“Let’s get me ready for the bath. Do you mind going to fill the tub while I try to get undressed?” 

Chopper nodded, jumping off the bench and ran into the bath area to start filling the large tub with hot water. You sighed, and looked down at your shirt. Law had given you special shirts so you wouldn’t have to pull them over your head. There was a zipper down the front, much like the boiler suits that his crew wore. Earlier, you had changed from your pajama version of the shirts into a normal one while Sanji had cleaned up from breakfast in your ensuite bathroom. You were also clothed in loose fitting pants with an elastic waist. It was easy to pull down the pants off your hips, letting them pool to the ground, and you unzipped your shirt. Your underwear was the trickiest part, and often you had to have Nami or Robin help you change into new ones. You pulled your current ones down and stepped out of the pile of clothes. Your attachment sites were throbbing from all the movement of your arms after your panic attack, and there was no way you’d be able to unhook your bra. You heaved a sigh of frustration. 

“Need any help?” Chopper peeked out from the bathing area. You looked at him, a defeated look on your face. 

“Just my bra” you answered. He nodded and morphed into his human-like form so he had thumbs, and walked behind you. He struggled for a second, but then managed to unhook it with a sound of triumph. You giggled at his sound of triumph and stood, leading the way into the bathing area. You took in the familiar surroundings. A large, tiled bath sat near the window, more the size of a hot tub than a bath. There was a low shower head and a small stool to one side, so you could wash before soaking. You stood before the small stool, looking down at it cautiously, and you looked up at Chopper’s tall form. 

“I don’t think I can sit down that far without falling,” you said. Chopper hummed in thought, and then put his hands on your waist, as if to lift you. 

“Just let me lower you down then” he said. You looked back at him, and he nodded once with an air of confidence. You slowly began to sit, and your legs suddenly gave out, but Chopper’s hands kept you from falling. He sat you down on the stool. 

“There. Easy!” 

You looked cautiously at the showerhead. 

“And you're absolutely sure I can get these arms wet?” You asked, looking down at your intricate metal arms. 

“Absolutely. I had Franky test it more than he said he needed to, so I’m absolutely sure you can get them wet. You can go for a swim with them with no issue too!” Chopper assured you. You looked up at him, and watched as he sat on a spare stool behind you. He reached over to remove the showerhead from its place on the wall and turned on the water. 

“How hot do you usually like your showers?” He sprayed the water on your foot, and you hummed at the warm water. 

“A little warmer” you answered. Chopper adjusted the hot water and you let out a pleasured sigh as it reached the perfect temperature. He brought the shower head towards him and let the hot water run over your back, and you moaned at how good it felt. Chopper giggled. 

“I bet you feel really dirty after not having a shower for so long.” 

“I do. This feels amazing.” 

You let Chopper wash your back, front, and legs before you took care of your intimate areas yourself while he turned around for your privacy. Once you finished, you let him wash your hair. His hands were big in this form, but he was still gentle with them as he scrubbed your scalp and gently untangled your hair. You sighed in pleasure at the relaxing feeling of him washing your hair, and at the warm water cascading down your back again as he rinsed the shampoo and conditioner out. He turned off the water and helped lift you up so you were standing. He chatted mindlessly about what had been happening on the ship while you were recovering, and it tugged painfully at your heart. He helped keep you balanced as you stepped in the tub, but noticed your expression. 

“What’s wrong? Are you in pain?” he asked, his eyes scanning your arms. You shook your head with a wobbly smile, and sat in the water. Chopper returned to his usual small form and looked up at you. He looked so different without his hat, sitting on the side of the tub. 

“I miss you guys, but it’s so hard to come back. I don’t know if I can stay,” you whispered. Chopper’s eyes immediately filled with tears. 

“If you miss us, then come back. We love you! You’re part of our family!” 

You shook your head, chest clenching in guilt at his plea.

“It’s complicated, Chopper.” 

He looked at you, tears dripping down his face. 

“Why? It doesn’t have to be!” his voice rose a little with his emotions. Your throat burned as you swallowed down your own tears. 

“I love you guys so much, but I need to heal. I need to heal from Zoro and the accident. I can’t look at him without remembering what happened. I can’t be in a situation that I can’t handle because of Luffy’s recklessness. I don’t want to- can’t be- a burden. I’m still your family, Chopper. I’ll still see you. I just need to talk to the rest of the crew about it. I need to heal, and… maybe leave the Strawhats so I can start a new chapter of my life,” you spoke with a wavering voice, tears springing to your eyes as you tried to explain. Chopper looked distraught. 

“But… you can heal here! I can take good care of you, and Franky will be here too so he can fix your arms, and with Luffy, Nami, Sanji, Robin, Usopp, and Brook, we’ll take care of you! Please stay? Maybe you can be friends with Zoro again!” he started sobbing as he spoke, and your wall holding back tears crumbled. Hot streaks rolled down your face, and you put your hands on Chopper’s cheeks. 

“I know. I know you’d take care of me, that you all would. I want to come back, but I just can’t bring myself to do it when Zoro was so… you know. And honestly I have something going on with Sanji, which is a terrible idea. I want to see Luffy grow and become the King of the Pirates, but I don’t feel like I can belong to this crew the same way anymore. I love you guys. So much…” you trailed off as your sob took your breath away. You continued after a few seconds, “I need this for myself, because it’s my life. I don’t want to become strangers, but I can’t come back here. I can’t bring myself to, not when the Heart Pirates have accepted me and made me feel like one of them so quickly-” you broke off with another sob, and dragged Chopper’s shaking form to your own shuddering chest. 

“Please forgive me, but I can’t come back. Not yet. I’ll still see you guys, and call and write though!” you promised, throat burning as you murmured into Chopper’s ear. He pulled back to look up at you with big, watery eyes and sniffed. 

“I think… I understand, but I’m still sad. I don’t want you to leave, because I’ll miss you. I know for you to be happier in the long run, you need to leave, but…” he hiccupped and sobbed before continuing, “I just love you lots!” His little face nestled into your neck, and his breath tickled over your neck as he cried.

“I’ll call often, and write and send pictures, okay? The Heart Pirates is a better place for me during this time in my life, and Law is a kind person” you rambled a little. Little hooves wrapped around your neck and you felt his tears drip onto your shoulder. You held him against your chest, feeling his back shudder as he cried quietly. You held him until you both stopped crying, lingering sniffles echoing through the bath, and wet cheeks pressed against each other. 

A soft knock at the door to the bath startled you both, but you heard Nami’s voice calling to you. 

“Can I come in?” She sounded like she was crying, and your heart clenched in guilt. 

“Y-yeah” 

The door opened, and she stood with tears in her eyes, looking at you pleadingly. 

“I heard everything,” she admitted. You let your body sink in defeat, and you looked down at the water guiltily. 

“I’m sorry” you whispered. Swirling emotions choked your throat. Nami shook her head with a wobbly smile on her face. 

“I get it. We’ll miss you, and you’ll always be a part of this crew, but… we’ll be heartbroken to see you go, even if it’s what you need to do for now” she answered in a wavering voice. She grabbed your towel and held it out. 

“Here. You guys have been here for a while. Sanji made lunch” she said. You stood, and looked at Chopper. He looked back at you with sad eyes before realizing your silent ask for help. He transformed into his human-like form, and held your waist to keep you balanced as you stepped out of the tub. You walked towards Nami, who wrapped the towel around you. Once you were covered, she hugged you tightly. 

“You need to tell the rest of the crew, and talk to Zoro. I think he’s finally come to his senses,” she whispered. You nodded against her shoulder. With two helpers, getting dressed was much easier, and you exited the changing area quickly. Law was leaning against the wall casually, looking up from a textbook he had borrowed from the library. 

“Did the water hurt your surgery sites at all?” he asked casually. You shook your head, and he grunted in approval. 

“Good. It shouldn’t have but I wanted to make sure,” he answered. You smiled a little at his rough exterior that hid his soft, caring side. He held his hand out to activate his powers, a blue glowing dome enveloping all of you. 

“Ready to go down?” he asked. You took a deep breath, eyes closed to calm yourself. You almost nodded before your eyes flashed open in worry. 

“Is he down there?” you asked. Nami and Law traded a look, but they both nodded. 

“He is, but you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, okay?” Nami said, rubbing her hand up and down your back soothingly. You nodded once, and took another deep breath to calm yourself.

“Okay.” 

Law looked at you for one final confirmation, and with your nod, shifted his hand to teleport all of you down to the deck. You blinked and squinted in the bright sunlight, almost flinching at Luffy and Usopp’s screeching as they argued playfully with each other about something. Luffy’s voice called out your name, and you felt the vibrations on the deck of someone running towards you. You finally regained your vision right as he skidded to a stop in front of you, wrapping his arms with extreme care around your middle. His tongue was poking out slightly with concentration at controlling his monstrous strength on your recovering body. You could only laugh at him, and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, holding him tightly to you. He let out a squawk when your arms accidentally tightened too much around him, and you loosened your grip a little. 

“Hey Luffy,” you said, smiling. He grinned at you, and it filled you with warmth that made your heart clench painfully. Your smile wobbled. He looked at you as his smile faded a little. 

“Oi, why are ya crying?” he asked with a giggle. You glanced at Nami, who bit her lip to try to stop her own tears. The rest of the crew, except the swordsman, had gathered around you, and you looked at the rest of them, meeting their eyes before looking back at Luffy. 

“I… I think I might go… temporarily at least.” 

You could feel the way everybody’s heart dropped at your declaration, even though Sanji, Chopper, and Nami all knew before. Luffy withdrew his arms from around you and stepped back to look at you properly. 

“Go where?” he asked gently. You clenched your new hands into fists, and bit your bottom lip. You could feel tears forming, but didn’t want to let them fall. 

“With Tra-o” you said simply. Luffy glanced at Law, who was standing away from the conversation, looking at the sea. 

“Tra-o!” Luffy called. Law looked back, for once not looking pissed off at your captain, and walked towards the group. You looked back at your crewmates, all fighting back tears. Robin’s beautiful blue eyes were wet, but her small smile said that she understood. Sanji was lighting a cigarette, a tear sliding down his cheek. Usopp and Franky both looked shocked and devastated, and it hurt to meet their eyes. You could hardly tell what Brook was thinking, but from his body language, he seemed devastated as well. You heard Law stop beside you. 

“Mugiwara-ya” he answered. Luffy stared at him, a strange aura of menacing, protectiveness, and resignation emanating from him. 

“Did you offer?” 

Law nodded. 

“I offered for them to join my crew to heal fully, and left it up to them whether they wanted to join permanently or go back to you.” 

Luffy nodded once, arms crossed over his chest. He stood still a moment, before sighing, and looking at you with a grin. 

“You’re free to do what you want. You always are. You’ll always be part of our crew, and will be welcome back anytime, for any reason. You’re family, but you’re free.” 

He stepped forward and put one hand on the back of your neck, and lightly bonked his forehead to yours. You suddenly remembered him doing the same action before, with the whisper “This is how we promise now, okay? You and me. No hands or arms necessary.” Your chin wobbled at the action, and you nodded. 

“I love you guys in a way I can’t put into words. I can’t tell the future, so maybe someday I’ll be back-” you choked off the end of your sentence with a sob, and let your arms hold Luffy close to you. The rest of the crew surged forward in a hug, everyone careful about your arms. Tears and snot dripped, and wails from almost everyone echoed on the ship. It took you a few seconds, but you realized that the wriggling form next to you was Law, who had gotten caught up in the hug unexpectedly. You laughed wetly at his scowl and his demands to be let go. 

“I’ll call and write and send pictures, okay? I just need to do this for myself. I love you all though-” A sob broke off your sentence again, and a fresh round of tears appeared on everybody’s faces. It lasted like that for a few more minutes, and Law had finally given up on having tears and snot wiped on his clothes from your crew. 

A deep, uncomfortable cough broke you out of your haze, and the crew parted to reveal a defeated-looking Zoro. He sat on the grass, slouched over and looked at the group guiltily. You swallowed hard, looking at him. Franky grabbed your hand in assurance, and you glanced up at him gratefully. 

“I’m… I’m sorry” he said. His steely gaze seemed cracked from guilt and despair, and he met your eyes steadily. Your grip tightened around Franky’s hand, and you were glad it was his, because your grip may have broken bones. You swallowed hard. 

“For what?” You asked quietly. He looked surprised, and glanced at the rest of the crew. They filtered off to the other side of the deck, giving you all space, but still watching closely. Law took the moment to escape and shed his now-dirty coat, but watched your interaction with Zoro intensely. Franky stayed by your side, holding your hand. Zoro took a few steps forward, and it took all you had not to back away. 

“For everything. For not listening to you when you said we should run, for being weak enough to be unconscious when you needed me, for…” he trailed off, shutting his eyes and running a hand through his hair, as if the next words were poison on his tongue, but he looked back into your eyes and continued with an unwavering voice, “for abusing you when you needed me the most. For leaving you alone when you were going through the hardest time in your life. I’m so sorry. I’m glad that Luffy, the Cook, and Franky stopped me. I keep wanting to give you excuses, like I was also hurting, that I felt weak and angry at myself and I took that out on you, but honestly, I don’t have an excuse. I was upset, traumatized, but I should’ve worked through that with you, together. I’m a better man because of you, and I tossed you aside,” he stopped talking, finally looking down at the ground. You watched him closely. Emotions swirled in your heart and mind. You were angry that he was apologizing, and that he did what he did in the first place. You felt guilty that you didn’t see he was suffering, even though you had every right to not feel guilty. You felt relieved that he hadn’t changed for the worse forever, and also sad that he was even capable of the actions. You shook your head and sighed. You were shaking, and you gripped Franky’s hand a little harder. He looked down at you, making sure you were alright. You didn’t look back at him, instead focused on replying to Zoro. 

“I can’t lie and say that I’m not leaving because of you. Mostly, I am. I don’t think I can be around you without sacrificing my happiness, which is the last thing anybody here wants. I don’t-” Your answer was cut off by Zoro’s interruption. 

“Shhh. You don’t have to forgive me, but if you do, let me know. Please.” 

Your anger flared white-hot at the shushing and interruption. You let go of Franky’s hand, and took a step forward, fists balled so tightly your surgery sites throbbed.

“You don’t get to shush me. You don’t get to interrupt me, and you don’t ever get to tell me what to do, especially when it comes to me forgiving you!  You still have a long way to go, Roronoa Zoro. I am free to do whatever I want. I’m leaving this crew to go to the Heart Pirates, and I will miss everyone except you. I’m not something to be won, and I’m not a goal to reach. Now, please, if you wouldn’t mind, can I have just one lunch with the rest of the crew?” angry tears spilled down your cheeks, making you more pissed off. You saw hurt in Zoro’s eyes, a depth of aching and hurt that reflected your own that one fateful night. He looked down at the ground, crossing his arms over his chest. You were breathing heavily, and guilt clanged with sharpened edges around your heart, even though you knew you had every right to say those words. You looked down at the ground as well, using your shoulders to wipe away your tears. From the edges of your vision, you saw his boots turn as he walked away. You turned back to Franky, looking up at him, eyes full of regret and questioning. 

“Franky…” you whispered. He only held his arms out and you ran into his body, desperate to feel safe again. He held you to his chest tightly. Your body was shaking, and your breathing was erratic, but with his comforting presence, your breathing exercises began to come to you naturally. It took a few minutes, but your breathing calmed and your shaking sputtered to nothing. 

“There ya go, sis. Good job. You did so well talking to him. You did everything right. I promise,” he soothed you gently, quietly. You were glad for his rumbling voice that pushed aside your fears and hesitation. You finally pulled back enough to look up at him. 

“...was I too hard on him?” 

Franky looked at you softly, and smoothed your hair. 

“Unfortunately, that’s not for me to decide. If it were though, I’d say that you weren’t. He’ll be upset for a while, yes, but that’s because of his own mistake. He’ll grow from it slowly,” he said gently. You let out a deep sigh. 

“Why did I have to be the lesson?” you mumble softly. Franky sighed as well. 

“People say that bad things happen for a reason, that it’s for you to get stronger or learn something. Me though… I think bad things just happen. I think they happen and it’s up to you to decide what to do. You can fall into the bad, or you can rise above it. You’ve risen above it,” he said. You finally pulled back, holding both of his hands in yours. You give him a wobbly smile. 

“Only because of you guys though.” 

Franky shakes his head. 

“Well, we helped ya, sis, but you’re the one who fought. We just gave you support.” 

You can’t help but laugh a little at his words. 

“...thank you” you whisper. He smiles broadly at you, then looks over to the picnic blanket set up on the lawn. 

“C’mon. Let’s getcha fed, okay?” 

You nod, and hold his hand as he leads you to the blanket, sitting down. Nami, Sanji, Robin, Brook, and Usopp join you, and you look around for your captain. He’s standing on the Sunny’s lionhead, looking out towards the sea. A jolt of guilt washes through you. What was he going through? Zoro is his first mate and best friend, but he loves everyone on his crew. Having a fallout on his crew must be tough. You sigh, and look at Sanji. 

“How’s Luffy doing with all of… this?” you wave your hand uselessly at yourself and the general direction Zoro had taken off, towards the Crows Nest. Sanji hands you a plate and looks at you, surprised. 

“Luffy… is leaving it up to the two of you. He loves you both dearly, but understands how serious this is. He understands that Zoro messed up and hurt you, but also knows that it’s his burden to deal with,” Sanji puffed on his cigarette, loading another plate with amazing food and handing it to Nami. Nami nodded at his words. 

“Sanji-kun is right. Luffy understands,” she said carefully. You nod, and look back towards the masthead but don’t see your captain anymore. Your hands suddenly feel lighter as the plate is snatched out of your metal grip and Luffy’s cheerful laughter rings above you. 

“Gotcha!” he crows loudly beside you. You jump a little and look at him in shock, clearly seeing the moment Sanji’s foot connected with the captain, sending him sprawling back. Your plate was delivered to your hands again, not a single piece out of place. You couldn’t help but laugh at the usual antics of the crew, silencing Sanji’s yells at the rubber boy, who sat sheepishly on the grass. Nami, Robin, and Usopp joined in your laughter, the others following quickly. You heard everyone laughing except… Chopper. You look around for him, and finally catch his little form crawling down from the Crows Nest. Your smile dimmed from a grin to one that was softer as you connected the dots in your mind. Chopper went to check on the swordsman, and probably brought him some food as well. Your heart ached at the thought, but you were glad that he would still be treated normally by the rest of the crew. 

You began to eat, but at the first bite of the heavenly food, tears pooled in your eyes. It tasted like home. Luffy was the first to notice you crying, and immediately began yelling at Sanji for cooking you bad food. Sanji began wailing and apologizing to you, creating a fuss that was only stopped when Nami whacked them both upside the head with a merciless fist. 

“Both of you! Stop it!” she barked. Both Luffy and Sanji turned to her, pouting for two very different reasons.

“You’d be crying too if it was your last lunch with everyone for the foreseeable future, okay? Now both of you shut up and eat!” She sat back down with an air of finality, and the two men looked at each other and then looked at you, understanding on their faces. 

“So… your food tastes good?” Luffy asked. You laughed and nodded. 

“Amazing, as always.” 

Sanji looked to be immensely relieved, and Luffy turned to the cook with a bright grin. 

“My bad!” he exclaimed before inhaling an entire cut of meat. Sanji loaded his plate with another portion as an acceptance of his apology, and you smiled at the interaction, your lip wobbling a little. Someone shifted on your other side, and you turned to look. Robin smiled back at you, a cup of steaming tea in her hands. It smelled flowery, like lavender and roses. 

“You can still stay, you know,” she said quietly. You bit your lip and looked down at your food, tears finally falling down your cheeks. You shook your head. 

“I… don’t think I can. Not right now,” you said, tears thickening your voice. She put a hand on your shoulder, and that spoke volumes. 

“I understand, and we’ll miss you, but we want your happiness and safety over anything. Tra-o is a great man, and you’ll find who you’re growing to be with him. But, you’ll always have a home here. You’re our family,” she said softly. The rest of the crew was quiet, having heard her words. You looked at each of them fully. Robin gave you a smile, and tightened her hand on your shoulder. Franky gave you a grin, somehow managed to do his signature ‘Super’ pose while sitting, clashing his forearms together above his head. Usopp gave you a thumbs up with a grin and a confident chuckle, and Brook whipped out a violin and began playing for you. Chopper had joined and heard everything, giving you a confident smile that made his eyes sparkle. Nami’s eyes were watering, but she looked at you with a kind smile. Sanji lit his cigarette, and looked at you softly, a smile on his lips. Luffy grinned at you, and wrapped his arm around you a few times, holding you tightly to his side. His other hand took off his hat and plopped it on your head, tilted over your eyes to hide your falling tears. You let your wet face fall against Luffy’s neck, sniffling. 

“I’ll miss Zoro. I know I said I wouldn’t, but I will. I love and will miss all of you. I promise,” You pulled back enough to tap your forehead gently against his, your special way of promising. His bright laughter was all you could hear for a second, before he spoke. 

“I know. We all do. We’ll miss you too, but for now… let’s party!” He announced. You couldn’t help but smile. Brook began playing an upbeat song, and Nami dragged you up to dance with Chopper and Robin. Franky joined in, and Sanji disappeared into the kitchen, bringing back drinks for everyone. 

All of you partied until sunset, when Sanji brought out dinner. Law had mostly stayed out of the way, but was dragged into festivities by Luffy, who said he was being a wimp for not enjoying the celebration of the new addition to his crew. Their argument devolved into something that led to the Heart Pirate crew joining the festivities on the Sunny, much to Law’s chagrin about them being exposed to “Straw Hat idiocy”. Luffy declared he “won”, which led into them bickering, until Luffy laughed freely and called Law and his crew “honorary Straw Hats”, which both crews cheered at, leaving Law to pout and brood in a corner with some beer. You giggled and approached your new captain, your surgery sites aching from drinking and eating so much. You sat next to him, and he spared you a glance before muttering under his breath. 

“Honorary Straw Hats my ass. Then the Straw Hats should all be honorary Heart Pirates.” 

You couldn't help but snicker at his annoyance. 

“With your desire to keep the Straw Hat’s off your ship, it might be better not to go there” you say with a smirk. Law rolls his eyes. 

“Why did I ever have to meet him,” he groaned, gesturing to Luffy. You looked at your captain- previous captain?- and smiled at him, watching as he was somehow managing to shovel food in his mouth while also dancing around the fire, ignoring Sanji yelling at him that it would make him sick. You giggled at the sight. 

“That means you're blessed by fate, I guess,” you answer with a chuckle. Law looked at you, face unreadable. He grunted finally, and glanced down at your arms. 

“You’ve been moving around a lot today, and eating and drinking more. How are your arms?” 

You looked down at the surgery sites with a grimace. 

“They don’t feel great, that’s for sure. They’re throbbing and stinging,” you answer honestly. Law’s brows knit together briefly, and he exhaled sharply. 

“Okay. It’s to be expected but just give me a second,” he said as he stood. A blue dome appeared, expanding quickly, and Law disappeared with a flick of his hand. He appeared a few moments later, and the blue dome disappeared. He sat next to you, shifting through the first aid kit he brought back with him. 

“This is your arm first aid kit. I made it for you with the help of Chopper and Franky. Hmmm… where did I put it?” 

Your breath caught with gratefulness, and your eyes flicked between Law’s face and the box a few times before he pulled something out of it. He looked at you briefly before doing a double take, annoyed concern on his face. 

“What the hell is that look? Why do you have the same look as Bepo? Stop being cute!” 

You leaned your head on his shoulder, trying to give him a hug even though your arms were in too much pain. He grunted and tried to gently push you off, but you pushed against his hand, keeping yourself glued to his shoulder. He huffed a sigh of annoyance. 

“Get off me. I need to look at the attachment sites. And here, take these.” 

He held two pills in his fingers, and you recognized them as regular pain medicine that reduced inflammation. You sat up properly and held open your mouth, and Law dropped them onto your waiting tongue and held up your glass immediately to help you take a sip. It was a familiar routine by this point, when he would feed you medicine when you couldn’t lift your arms yet. You took a sip of your drink and swallowed the pills easily, and he put your drink down between you. He plucked another package out of the box and you looked at it curiously. He answered your silent question. 

“It’s a sort of wipe that will ease the stinging. At least I designed the solution the cloth was soaked in to do that, but we’ll see if it works,” he said factually. He said it so casually that it took you a second to register his words, but by the time you did, he was already wiping the tiny piece of cloth over your skin. You yelped and shut your eyes tightly, waiting for something to happen. 

“What the hell are you doing? It’s not going to hurt you” Law said with an amused lilt to his voice. You opened one eye cautiously, staring down at your surgery site. The stinging was slowly starting to ebb, and he finished wiping down the circumference of your arm. 

“You can’t just experiment on me!” you whined. Law snorted and then smirked. 

“I didn’t. I used the same solution when my tattoos were freshly done and I got into a fight. It stung like a bitch. I thought it would help you as well,” he explained. You narrowed your eyes at him suspiciously. 

“You’re lucky it worked,” you pouted. Law raised a single brow. 

“Do you seriously think Chopper-ya would allow me to put something in your first aid kit that he hadn’t tried himself?” 

You paused. 

“No, because I didn’t have time to think” you shot back. Law snorted and shook his head. 

“Let me do the other arm,” he stood and moved to the other side, quickly swiping the cloth over your other attachment site. You blinked down at your arm. The stinging was subsiding from both arms. Not completely, but it was definitely better than before. You looked up at him, smiling. 

“Thanks, captain” you said cheekily. Law blushed slightly and hid his face under the brim of his hat. 

“...you’re welcome,” he murmured. 

You leaned back against the side of the boat and looked up at the stars. 

“How often do you get to see the stars on your ship?” 

Law grunted quietly. 

“It depends on the weather, but I surface and let the crew out as much as I can,” he says quietly. You nodded. 

“Thank you… for offering,” you mumble. You felt Law’s golden eyes on you, and after a moment, you finally met his gaze. You couldn’t decipher the emotion that was shining brightly in his eyes. 

“You’re free to do as you wish. You’re free to follow your heart, and that can take you to surprising places. I’m almost jealous that you’re free to do that, because I don’t feel like I can trust my heart to take me to good places,” he said softly. You blinked in surprise, but said nothing. Law sighed, then stood. He offered you a hand as he stood above you to help you up. The orange from the fire was gorgeous on his black hair, and it highlighted the definition of his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. You let a small smile curl your lips. 

“I’m scared, but I trust you,” you said after a moment. Law smirked at you. Your hand rose to grasp his, but you both knew the casual gesture was a promise. A promise of trust in each other and in the future to bring good to you. You stood, and he pushed you gently in the direction of the party. 

“Go. I’ll be here. Come back if you hurt,” he murmured. You cast a smile over your shoulder and went to join the party, letting various people (and animals) from both crews hug you and fold you into the celebration. 

—------

2 Months Later: 

You let the salty breeze trail incandescent fingers along your skin and through your hair, and you breathed in the scent of fresh air. It had been about a week since the sub had been able to surface, and you were desperate for the breeze. Footsteps thumped on the deck behind you, approaching your form. 

“How are your arms?” he asked boredly. You snorted. 

“Do you really have to ask multiple times a day, every day?” You turned to meet him, his golden eyes matching his double earrings, glinting in the sun. He frowned. 

“I’m a doctor,” he said as if that were an answer. You giggled. He pouted. 

“Captain, you know that's not an answer. You can just admit that you have a crush on me~” you teased slyly. Law’s cheeks darken with a blush that he tried to hide under the brim of his hat. 

“Shut up and get back to work. Bepo is over there shedding again, and I want the deck clean,” he ordered. You laughed. 

“Yes sir!” you saluted him mockingly and picked up the broom again. You let your mind wander over the last few months, recalling how you’ve healed. Physically, you would still get twinges and pulls when you moved the wrong way or when you worked too hard. Some days when there were storms, your surgery sites ached, and some days the phantom limb pain hurt like a bitch. Through it all though was Law. He was a steady rock that gave you answers and honesty when you needed them the most, and comfort that was only for your eyes and ears. Your PTSD from the accident hadn’t gotten much better, but Law told you that it could take even years for you to fully recover, if you do at all. He held you through your panic attacks, opening his door to you without question in the middle of the night when you were shaking and crying. Sometimes, Bepo was there too and the three of you would cuddle together, finding solace in sleep. When someone raised their voice even slightly at you, you still reacted. You started shaking and stuttering, fighting back tears, even as they lowered their voice and talked to you soothingly to provide a distraction for your adrenaline-driven mind. 

Law was basically a casual boyfriend. He refused to commit to anything deeper than cuddles, kisses, and soft words until he knew that he wasn’t a rebound or someone that you bonded with through trauma. You respected his decision, and was happy with the current relationship the two of you had. He was always busy anyways, and you were busy trying to heal. You kept sweeping the deck, flinching when your arm twinged the wrong way. You looked down at your metal arms with a frown. You didn’t wear your sleeves today, deciding to allow the sun on your scars. You could feel echoes of touch, like if you were wearing a pair of thin gloves on your hands. The crew had learned the upkeep of your arms quickly, and were pros at fixing anything that went wrong with them. You paused and wiped the sweat off your cheek with your shoulder. Your eyes landed on the resident polar bear peering through binoculars, focused on one particular spot.

“Hey Bepo, whatcha lookin at?” 

“Sorry, I just saw something in the distance. I think it looks familiar… sorry I can’t see it clearly yet,” he said, bowing as he apologized. You frowned a little, then took the binoculars from him. Your eyes focused on the dot on the horizon, and a wide smile cracked your face. 

“Go tell the captain- the Strawhats are going to visit!” 

Bepo ran off and you giggled a little with excitement. You suddenly saw a small figure shoot off of the ship, and you laughed with delight. You heard one of your favorite voices whooping with joy. You jumped in place and waved your arms, guiding Luffy to the right spot of the ship. 

“Luffy! I’ve miss- OOF!” your greeting was cut off as he slammed into you, sending the both of you tumbling to the deck. The wind was knocked out of you, but Luffy laughed loudly. 

“I’ve missed you! Have you been having good food? Do you have adventures? Have you eaten good meat on the adventures?!” Luffy questioned you rapid-fire, and once you got your breath back you pushed him off you. 

“One thing at a time, Luffy. Law is going to yell at you for boarding his ship without permission,” you warned with a giggle. Luffy grinned with a chuckle. 

“Yep, but I get to see you. Everyone else is coming on the ship, and then we can have lunch and dinner together, okay?” he said excitedly. You nod with a laugh. 

“Of course!” 

“Oh are you coming back yet?” he asked with wide eyes. A jolt of fear and guilt went through you, clenching your heart.

“N-no. I’m not healed enough yet,” you murmur. Luffy nods, then is suddenly gone, a piece of Bepo’s fur floating down where he sat. 

“MUGIWARA-YA!” you heard Law yell. You looked over, and he was holding Luffy over the railing of the ship by his shirt. Luffy only laughed. 

“Hey, Tra-o! Let’s have lunch and dinner all together, yeah?” Law snarled and was about to drop Luffy into the ocean but you called out. 

“I’m not leaving yet, I just miss them!” 

Law looked at you with what you knew to be a pout, but to anyone else looked like a glower. He tossed Luffy back onto the deck, who sprawled next to you easily. 

“So… Tra-o, huh?” he said in a whisper. You blink at him, shocked that he actually picked up on the relationship between you and the surgeon. 

“Not yet, but maybe,” you whisper back. Luffy frowns a little. 

“Hm. Well eventually I hope you’ll come back when you’re ready. We can even have Tra-o on our crew if you want to stay together. I’m still the captain though,” he said firmly. You snorted and then giggled. 

“You’re going to be King of the Pirates, Luffy. Of course you’ll still be the captain.” 

Luffy grinned and wrapped a hand around the back of your neck, then lowered his face so his forehead bonked against yours. It hurt a little, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“I’ve missed you."

Taglist:

@blue-rae18 @metonimia-de-bellota @perilous-pasta @thesleppybitch darkartincub0-blog @letssayless @brokenangstyheart @stachelrose @fluffybunnyu @yunho-leeknow @admoonchild @lakkiiii @khjcoo @chhyuengkai @theladyofmanyfandomsfanfiction

[bakuhatsufallinlove]

U.A. High School Field Trip Around Japan: Day 1 Translations

To celebrate My Hero Academia reaching one hundred million copies worldwide, Shonen Jump is releasing special illustrations in the newspapers of Japan's 47 prefectures, calling it "U.A. High School Field Trip Around Japan." It's being rolled out daily across one-week.

The schedule is:

April 4th, Day 1: Hokkaidō & Tōhōku regions

April 5th, Day 2: Kantō region

April 6th, Day 3: Chūbu region

April 7th, Day 4: Kansai region

April 8th, Day 5: Chūgoku & Shikoku regions

April 9th, Day 6: Kyūshū & Okinawa regions

April 10th, Day 7: Nationwide release

You can see the illustrations on their website here, where they are released digitally the day after their newspaper release, so Day 1 and Day 2 are available right now.

The illustrations depict charming scenes between Class 1-A about something related to each prefecture's culture or history, so I thought it would be really fun to translate them and share a little bit about Japan.

Here we go!

Note: As I mentioned, the illustrations are available on the official site, but they are all rather small, which makes them hard to read, so in this post I have included photographs from fans which I used for my translations. Every photo was available publicly on twitter and I have credited the posters, but please be respectful and don't draw undue attention to these fans. If anyone contacts me wishing for their photo to be removed, I will do so.

Hokkaidō Region

Hokkaidō

Photo credit: twitter user URix0307

Iida: "Heroes! Be ambitious!!' Aizawa: "I'm leaving you behind."

Iida is standing in front of the statue of William S. Clark at Hitsujigaoka Observation Hill, a scenic spot in Sapporo. Clark worked with the Japanese government to found Sapporo Agricultural College (now Hokkaidō University) in 1876; he is a very famous figure in the history of the region. The statue is inscribed with a quote attributed to him as he left Japan: "Boys, be ambitious!"

Tōhōku Region

Aomori

Photo credit: twitter user redaotkrsn

Dark Shadow: "Fumikage!! I GOT ONE!!" Tokoyami: "The allure of forbidden fruit which tastes so sweet..." Dark Shadow: "One simply cannot resist!" Asui: "Tokoyami-chan sure likes apples, huh?"

Agriculture is huge in Aomori, and specifically they are famous for their apples, contributing about 60% of Japan's entire apple production. Raw apples, jams, juices, desserts, etc., they are everywhere in Aomori, and fyi, they are all absolutely delicious. The sweetest, richest, freshest apples I've ever had in my life were the ones I had here! Dark Shadow is right, one simply cannot resist!!!

Iwate

Photo credit: twitter user bakkk_17

Todoroki: "I can have as many bowls as I want, right?" Endeavor: "SHOUTOOOOO!!!" Kouda: "Todoroki-kun!! Your dad said he wants to eat with you, too!!" Todoroki: "Check, please."

Todoroki is eating wanko soba, a specialty from Iwate where it's basically an all-you-can-eat. The soba is served in many small bowls, and you slurp them up and immediately get served more. The verb he uses, ikeru, is one people also use for "holding your liquor well," which I personally found hilarious. "Oh yeah, I can hold my noodles."

Miyagi

Photo credit: twitter user Abino_Haru_Maki

Ashido: "Teacher, what's wrong? You keep lollygagging about!" Aizawa: "Kittykittykitty..." Shouji: "Anybody suspicious around? Nothing has come up in my search for enemies." Iida: "We're leaving you behind, teacher."

Miyagi is famous for being home to Tashirojima, the so-called "Cat Island" where cats outnumber people. Iida gets revenge!!

Akita

Photo credit: twitter user kado0730

Hagakure: "Namahage faces are so scary!!" Kaminari: "Looks just like Bakugou, don't it." Bakugou: "THERE'S NO RESEMBLANCE AT ALL, I'LL SEND YOU FLYING!!" Sero: "He's a rotten kid who looks just like a Namahage!"

Namahage are frightening folkloric figures from Akita's New Year's festival. Men wear big demon masks and straw coats and wield a (fake) weapon; they march through the streets or knock on doors to scold misbehaving children, asking if there are any "warui ko," (naughty/rotten/bad kids), which is what Sero calls Bakugou.

Yamagata

Photo credit: twitter user ha_n_a_0

Yaoyorozu: "Oh, tranquility! Penetrating the very rock, a cicada’s voice." Kaminari: "Jirou! How about you put your earphones on that rock?" Jirou: "Are you stupid?"

Yaoyorozu is reciting a famous poem by Basho Matsuo written when he visited the Buddhist temple, Risshaku-ji (also called Yamadera, meaning "mountain temple"). This translation is by Helen Craig McCullough. Risshaku-ji, a National Historic site, is home to a number of beautiful buildings and statues built into the mountainside; temple history claims a lineage back to the 9th century. The trail up to the temple consists of 1,015 steps; I visited in winter, which made it quite the precarious climb!

Fukushima

Photo credit: twitter user kingyo0927

Kirishima: "This right here is what I should be aiming for!!" Aoyama: "A fateful encounter~!" Bakugou: "When I said 'just being able to keep standing through anything makes you crazy strong,' this ain't what I meant!!"

Kirishima is looking at rows of okiagari koboshi, which are traditional papier-mâché dolls popular in Fukushima's western Aizu region. They are weighted so that no matter what you do to them, they pop right back up to standing!

That's all for Day 1! I'm still translating Day 2 and collecting Day 3's as they roll in, so please look forward to those. :D

[sadie-bug345]

gang as after school snacks🫵🫶

i main oreos and milk ANYDAY OF THE WEEK🧍‍♀️👹❤️

ponyboy:

prob apples or sum shit😭

like something kinda random but also reasonable

ngl apples and peanut butter HIT sometimes

so he’s real for that

6/10 also gives pudding cup guy

johnny:

either doesn’t have anything as an after school snack

#neglected

in all seriousness i feel so incredibly bad for johnny and his home life

OR he makes like a whole meal

no in between

like he’ll come home and just put together a whole sandwich, juice, apple, the whole thing

5/10 i’m sorry😭

sodapop:

just has a can of coke or smth

this is not a joke on his name but it does go very well with it

but i think he just THRIVES off caffeinated sodas

comes home and cracks open a dr pepper, pepsi, whatever

thats enough to fuel him thru the rest of the day

also when he’s had a bad day he’ll just sit in his and pony’s room in the dark and sip his soda ominously LMAOOO

8/10 my mom does this

darry:

yoghurt and granola typa guy

probably calls granola “cereal”

ily darry but this is unacceptable 🫶🥰

he def pressures pony and soda to have healthy snacks which pony listens to but soda…well we know what soda does💀

everyone makes fun of him for his taste but he gets so pressed so fast (trust me he’s mad at me already for writing this)

3/10🏃‍♀️💨

dally:

religiously has bowls of cereal

or just cigarettes yk

just sits in the dark and eats his lucky charms whilst contemplating everything annoying he !everyone else! did that day

thinks about how much homework he has and how hes not gonna do a lick of it

calls up friends asking them to share their answers to the spanish hw

and on the other side of the line they can just hear him munching away and just like “…what are you eating🧍‍♀️”

dal’s just like “the bones of your dead dreams now tell me what the fuck a conjugation is and how i do it”

9/10 y’all prob know im an intense cereal lover

two-bit:

gushers or fruit snacks typa thing

prob drinks kool-aid like it’s the water of life

he’s real for that to a degree

like sometimes too many ritz crackers is too much 😭

probably just eats packs after packs of fruit snacks

struggle meals all the way💀

8/10

steve:

just drinks a glass of milk or smth

straight from the carton

just a total scavenger of the pantry

so disrespectful💀

in general i think he steals all the gangs food as a joke

darry just bought some cookies from the grocery store and by the time he gets home from work they’re gone😭😭

4/10

ANYWAYS request hcs, imagines, anything! i do platonic and romantic y/ns too🫶

ILYSM‼️‼️

[littlekohai77]

Orange peel test 🍊

𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚛 𝙸'𝚖 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚜.

🅲🅷🅰🆁🅰🅲🆃🅴🆁🆂: Duke, Ian, Vator, Arthur, Julian, Subin, Seongha, simp- I mean Inhyuk

🆆🅰🆁🅽🅸🅽🅶🆂: Duke, spicy, nsfw in Ian's part, not proofread

*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

🅓🅤🅚🅔 🅖🅡🅐🅝🅔:

Honestly pretty unlikely of him to actually get up and fetch you an orange. Cause most of the times when you guys do hang out, he's very tired out from training all day and too sore to stand.

But he will get you one when he actually has the energy for it... Only after giving you a long stare that leaves you questioning you relationship though.

Would peel it after heaving a sigh through his nose. Would not wash it or peel the sticker.

Would correct you and say that this is a tangerine and not an orange.

Would lean back on the opposite end of the couch and jokingly toss a few pieces aiming for your mouth. Would stop only after it hits you eye. And then feed you one by one.

You eat one, he inhales two.

Would linger his fingers in your mouth cause.. He likes the feeling and it reminds him of last night's activities.

Also stares at you while you chew like 🔴🔴

Would not clean up the left over trash and just leave it laying on the table and fall asleep on your lap cause the trash can is in the kitchen.

5.5/10

🅥🅐🅣🅞🅡:

Un yeah no. Ain't happening unless you guys fought and he really messed up or you're literally sick. Other than that it's most likely you who's fetching the orange. He can't afford to do stuff with this fresh manicure.💅✨

-100/10

🅐🅡🅣🅗🅤🅡 🅑🅡🅨🅐🅝:

Laziest piece of shit on the face of this earth.

Would get up to fetch you one but would walk so slowly AND INTENTIONALLY

LIKE BRO IS JUST TRYING TO PISS YOU OFF THAT'S IT

Would peel it for you but would literally be so fucking slow. Would also peel off the white stringy just for added suspense. Would fasten his pace just a little when you grunt or yell at him but would slow down again minutes later.

Would feed himself three pieces before feeding you one. Bro calls it 'boyfriend tax'.

Would gather all the peels and aim for the trash can. If they don't make it, then it's place is on the floor cause it's not gonna be him getting up to pick up that trash.

4/10

🅘🅐🅝 🅟🅐🅣🅡🅘🅒🅚:

You would be surprised if he even knows how to do it cause he's had most things spoon fed to him in life when it comes to labors like these.

He gets up to fetch you one and tosses it at you halfway back to the couch. You better catch it or he's gonna roast you.

But he aimed pretty well, at your chest to be specific. What a pervert but anyway.

Would sit down and quirk a brow at you when you hold it out to him and ask him to peel it.

Very confused as to why you can't do it yourself. But he's smart and figures out that it's probably some sort of trend you saw on social media.

So he begins to act like a chivalrous knight. A bit of a naughty one though.

Would sit super duper close to you, like basically an inch away from being on your lap and stare at you as you chew with a smirk on his face, acting like a 90's housewife who's just succeeded in killing her husband. Unnerving.

Would ask you to lick off the juices that dripped onto his hand cause he was too rough when peeling. And would stare as you do it with a light blush dusted across his face. Is totally imagining his thing in place of his fingers.

7/10

🅙🅤🅛🅘🅐🅝 🅟🅐🅣🅡🅘🅒🅚:

Pretty likely to ask a servant to get one for you but also pretty likely to fetch one himself.

Would peel it for you himself, zero hesitation.

Would cringe though when the juices spray on him and gets on his black clothes which would lead to a noticeable stain, at least in his eyes.

Wouldn't throw a fit in front of you though and would continue to peel.

Would feed them to you but using a fork. He really doesn't wanna risk you bitting him cause he doesn't like the feeling. And also because he's classy.

Would plate the orange on the finest china and would clean up the trash afterwards like a gentleman.

9/10

🅢🅤🅑🅘🅝 🅛🅔🅔:

Would bicker a little at first but would get it for you anyway.

Would try to experiment for a moment and see if she can peel it with a knife made out of ice.

Spoiler: it worked too well and now you have tangerine juice all over your precious girlfriend and the couch.

The tangerine looks like it just went through a lobotomy.

Girly is literally so embarrassed, red in the face and panicking. Apologizing profusely.

You help her get up and walk her to the bathroom to clean up and fetch some clothes for her.

And then clean up the floor and the couch.

2/10 but I'm sure she would've done fine if she hadn't tried experimenting.

10/10 for cuteness though.

🅢🅔🅞🅝🅖🅗🅐 🅟🅐🅡🅚:

Feast your eyes on the master.

Since he's downright terrified of cats, ever since learning through inhyuk that they hate the smell of citrus, he's been dousing himself in it. And there are stray orange peels laying all around his house to drive away cats.

Would have it laying in a fruit bowl right on the living room table.

Would peel so skillfully. Get every white tringy bit and doesn't spill a single drop or break the skin.

You almost feel bad eating it cause if looks so perfect.

Would give you an annoyed stare if you refuse to eat though, like 'why'd you make me do shit when you aren't even gonna eat it? '

Please eat it or his perfectionist mind is gonna start thinking that he didn't peel it well enough.

Would stare at the tangerine and would and would be salivating inside his mouth. Would not eat until you almost hand feed him.

Would not let you hand feed him and picks it from your hand and then eats it.

All while blushing a little.

10/10

🅘🅝🅗🅨🅤🅚 🅖🅞🅞:

You don't even have to ask honestly.

He just randomly arrives with a perfectly peeled and dissected orange on a sliver platter like he can read your mind.

Would hand feed you and linger his finger on your lips cause they look so cute when you're chewing that he justs wants to nibble on them like a shark.

Would not eat until you beg him and hand feed him.

10/10

*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

𝙷𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚝. :)

[weepingwillowwonder]

Horny Hazbin Hotel Thoughts: NSFW AHEAD [Minors DNI! 🔞] -> -> ->

This is about Angel Dust 😇✨️

So something I just noticed was in (I think???) episode 4, after Angel gets mad at Husk and goes to the bar/club, he tells one of the guys he's sitting with to get him a drink - BUT HE SAYS:

"Be a doll and bring me another one? Daddy's out of juice"

Which I thought was interesting because he says "daddy" multiple times throughout the show, and it's 1.) Usually referring to someone else and 2.) Usually in a whiny/submissive tone. But this time, he says it a little bit differently and is referring to himself in that moment.

ANYWAY, this had me thinking, and I'm wondering what other people also think/would have to say about that: 🤔