Tumgik
#which is very dear to me... personally... because of what it means in context of found family
boyfridged · 7 months
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i don't think i ever explained in detail why i'm so deadset on kon's primary name being kon and not conner, so here it is: kon getting his kryptonian name first despite the fact that he has no kryptonian dna is so salient because of 1. what it means in terms of clark's affirmation of his legacy 2. their familial connection being a chosen one, and 3. a bit sadly, the fact that kon finds closure and connection in culture that is already long gone, reminding the reader of his isolation. before getting this name (superboy #59) kon goes exclusively by superboy and is often referred to as "kid." this is what people call him even when he gets enrolled in school, the name on the register and all. kon came to life as a public figure. as a superhero. he has no civilian identity at this point. his core personality is developed in this dimension, and later in relation to his association with clark's alien legacy. and it might sound sorrowful, but this is also who he is; this is what he ultimately finds comfort in, what makes his family. it's bitter-sweet, it's complicated, it's nuanced and interesting. so any civilian identity that he adopts later should logically be his secondary identity. there's absolutely no reason for him to consider "conner" his actual name and not a monicker he uses for secret identity purposes, unless you want to lean into the horrible retcons that make "kon" to be a slur. i don't think he would mind it, per se– but i do believe that kon as we know him in superboy (94) wouldn't ever consider it to be his "true" self. and this is the hill i will die on.
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xamag-draws · 5 months
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BBR thoughts 2024
Since I mentioned that I finally dusted off an old project of mine and was ruminating on how I'd remake it, I thought I'd elaborate a little, now that I've solidified some concepts. For funsies
This is gonna be a bit of a long and unfocused one, but I don't share my personal thoughts here often, especially the stuff about my projects I always marinate in. And for once it's something that people have existing context for, so hey why not
So for anyone who hasn't been following me for a gajillion years, The Black Brick Road of OZ was a webcomic that I posted around 2013-2015, back when I was in highschool going on college (which is kinda crazy to think about). It was sort of a darker twist on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, although I definitely leaned a lot more into dark humor more than anything in those first few chapters
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I don't think it's available to read anywhere anymore, and I know people have been asking me about it. So here's the full proper archive of BBR, as full as it can be with deceased Flash
I totally used it as an excuse to shamelessly and self-indulgently experiment. It had interactive pages and GIFs and was wayyy too overproduced for what I could handle or what was necessary, but I did have great fun making it while it lasted
Unfortunately, that excess and the fact that I've changed too much as a person by the time I was in college is what ultimately killed it. The direction I wanted to go in was practically unrecognizable from the original idea started back in 2011, so there were many old hold-ups that I felt ruined it
At the time I kinda wished I could start/rewrite it all over, but considering that I pretty much had the entire script done at that point, it felt like a pointless sisyphean task. So I just put it on a shelf and didn't look back for about 8 years, because I didn't know what else to do
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Now to be fair, the nature of my art has always been iterative and cyclical; when I feel like my creative juices have run dry I prefer to leave a project to marinate and move on to something else; cycle through other old things and bring in new skills and perspectives into the mix when I'm ready again. Not very productive, but it is what makes me happy to work on my OCs; I'm doomed to hit a wall with them eventually and I need some time to be able to find a new direction
So that said, I'm glad that BBR was left to marinate for that long. I don't think I was prepared, emotionally or intellectually, to tackle it again until now. The Wizard of Oz book (and the entire series of them, really) has always been near and dear to my heart, but there's a lot of context around it that I'm only unpacking now that I'm older
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I think I always inherently feel negatively about the stuff I've made in the past, like its faults always jump out to me more than the positives, especially the more time passes. I've never liked that, and I do really appreciate the kind things people have to say about BBR to this day. The fact that it still can be recognized and remembered is very sweet
When I left it, I already found it "kinda cringe", and that feeling only deepened with years. When I took my first look back at it, asking the question "how would I rewrite it now?", at first I took a very cynical approach, as in "everything would have to be torn down"
But the more I sat on it, the more I found that I still see some merit and charm in the ideas I was putting out; I just didn't know how to execute them at the time (not to pretend that I know what I'm doing now, but I certainly know more at least). Turns out a lot of my old concepts could be changed substantially with just a few small tweaks. So I'd say that's a nicer way to think about my previous work
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If you haven't seen yet, I posted a first draft of my new designs for some of the characters (the main group, the Goods and the Wickeds). Definitely subject to change, but more or less how I see them now
I'm just playing with these concepts; by no means would I attempt to remake BBR right this moment. Call it a pipe dream among my other ones. But just for fun, this is the direction I'd like to take:
Nowadays I'd probably make it a visual novel, with more emphasis on the visual part than the novel because I'm no English prose writer by any means. It'd still let me play a little with the interactivity while helping cut some corners on the drawing part (only some, I imagine I'd go hog wild anyway)
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I've always intended for some events inspired by the sequel books to take place in BBR's past. Stuff like Jinjur's revolt or Ozma's rule preceeds the main events here. So I think it would be fun to follow the past of a few key characters alongside the main story. One chapter focusing on the present quest to see the Wizard, then one focusing on the past events (that are maybe reflective thematically); rinse and repeat
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I'm also sticking a little closer to the original text in some regards. Not everything that I enjoy from the books would be translated here, it's still just a very loose fantasy on the material; but I'd like to be closer in spirit at least
I like mature, wise and powerful Glinda, I like kind and vulnerable Tin Man, I like the Wizard being a pathetic yet loveable liar, so I'm sprinkling in more of that for example
I'd like to keep some whimsy, but make it more grounded and a bit more serious to be coherent in tone. I think the original TWWOOZ book was a more realistic fantasy in some ways, even for the standards of the time; I like its simple but vivid tactile descriptions and details like bringing attention that Dorothy needed to eat and sleep
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I find it funny that Baum specifically was averse to making his books scary or unpleasant, finding that unnecessary for telling a compelling kids story, but they still can get pretty dark and disturbing, at least for our modern sensibilities. Let's just say that I intend to use the Evoldo and Chopfyt storylines for my purposes. In that way, I feel like a "darker" Wizard of Oz retelling can still mostly be tonally in line with the original and balance it with enough heart and occasional humor
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I slowly grew to appreciate the quaint old-timey quality of the original series, as well. The first book is both timeless and very much a product of the 1900s. Originally I tried to give it a little modern or at least anachronistic spin, but it was moreso because it's what I knew best, so these days I'd rather intentionally lean into the time period. Still not fully historically accurate by any means, but at least directly acknowledging the influence
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The events of the story span across 40 years of these characters' lives, so I'm drawing inspiration from the entire so-called La Belle Epoque: the time period around 1880s-1920s. Basically I'm cooking, and my soup is old Victorian fashion morphing into Edwardian fashion and slowly inching towards flappers
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Some new Dolly outfits
Lots of crazy things, political changes and innovations were happening at the turn of the century, which I think is noted and reflected by Baum in the books as well; the character of Tik-Tok might not blow any minds now, but he was one of the first robot characters in literature at that point; and don't even get me started on Jinjur, etc. Plenty of really interesting stuff one could lightly ponder in an Oz adaptation these days
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Aesthetically, art nouveau has always been a big artistic influence for me, and it'd definitely be its time to shine here. John R. Neill's illustrations of the Oz books often keep me company as well. Nouveau architecture in particular fits that fairytale whimsy extremely well imo
I'd allow myself a little bit of art deco here and there, but ultimately its intimidating geometrical splendor is an antithetical to the flowery nature of nouveau and I associate it with a completely different era. Definitely fitting some characters like my Wicked Witch of the West, but shouldn't be overused
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One of my main problems with the original BBR was that eventually I lost track of what it was even about; and the original ending felt too mean and unfulfilling to be worth it. Now I'd like to stick to the theme of home and family as my main theme, but in a different, more bittersweet way than in the book
An interesting connection I made is that a lot of my aforementioned older key characters (the Witches, Jinjur, the Nome King, etc) all came from the same reformatory as kids, that's how they know each other. In my recent research I learned that in those reformatories it was usually frowned upon to release the children back to the families, which were seen as the original corrupting influence regardless of the circumstance. The reformatory did everything in its power to cut that connection and make itself the only family those wayward kids were supposed to know and love. That's an unexpected tie into the theme of home that I'd like to explore as well
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So yeah that's the current state of it. I have a bunch of outfit concepts I'm slowly cooking, although I'm now sure whether I'd post them... But I do miss these funny guys, and I'm glad some people still do as well :)
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bwabys-scenarios · 2 months
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Adoration or Obsession?
Yandere!Kurapika x Fem!Reader
!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!
warnings: mentions of past choking, Kurapika is pretty unstable and clingy, possessive/obsessive behavior
A/N: this is based off of this ask, so if you want context, go read that first!! Just wanted to show the aftermath of that situation, because Kurapika is very intent on trying to make it up to you… he just loves you :(
‼️If you want to be added to the taglist, I have three. SFW, NSFW, and YANDERE. Just reply with which one/s you want.‼️
YANDERE TAGLIST: @adissonsss @lightshowerrr
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Kurapika had been a bit distant after the incident at first, avoiding you unless it he needed to tend to your injuries. It seemed his rational side was trying to tell him to give you space to recover, to heal without him breathing down your neck…
But you wouldn’t be there, stuck in his home against your wishes if Kurapika always listened to his rational side.
So in the middle of the night, just two days after ‘the incident’s you could the empty side of your bed sink under someone’s weight, and soon after hands wrapped around your waist, pulling your back flush against a warm chest.
“I’m so sorry…”
You knew it was Kurapika who had entered your bed, but you hadn’t expected to feel tears soaking into your shirt and neck as he clung to you tightly. “So sorry, my angel… I knew you were just saying those things out of frustration, and yet…”
You could feel his arms stiffen when your breath hitched slightly as he kissed your neck. The bruises he left were still tender, every touch making you writhe in pain.
“F-fuck, it hurts doesn’t it? Oh my love…”
His grip tightened, and he wrapped his legs around you, clinging to you for dear life. Before he kidnapped you, Kurapika had been your dear friend, someone you loved with your entire heart. You knew how terrified he was to lose you, the last person he had.
And the knowledge that he could have been the very one to take your life away had him shaking in both anger and fear. He had taken you away for a reason, to keep you safe from those who wished to harm you.
And yet he had been the one putting his hands on you, someone he had dedicated his life to protecting. He still couldn’t get the sound of you choking out of his mind, the sight of the light starting to leave your eyes as you stopped fighting him.
He still had claw marks on his hands from your desperate attempts to survive. Kurapika would have a constant reminder of his actions, of what he did to you, his beloved.
“Kurapika…”
His attention was drawn to you when you spoke up, your voice soft and hoarse due to your injuries. “Yes, my love?”
“I’m… I’m sorry…”
Kurapika went deadly silent. The fear in your shaky voice was enough to tear his heart into millions of pieces. He had never wanted you to fear him, Kurapika wanted you to love and need him more than anything.
“No, no no no… don’t apologize, shh… I know you didn’t mean it, I shouldn’t have… I…”
He started to choke up, his heart racing and his eyes scarlet as he remembered seeing your nen energy growing weaker.
You weren’t a nen user, you could t control it like he could, and you were going to die. Kurapika had nearly killed you. If he hadn’t of snapped out of it in that moment and let you go so you could breathe, you would be dead.
“You’re… you’re fine. You’re with me, everything is okay.” Kurapika said, trying to reassure himself more than anything. He began to rock you back and forth, cooing softly as he pressed kisses into your cheeks and temple.
“You’re mine, and I’ll take care of you. I would… I will never hurt you again. Ever.”
Though a bit afraid, you were able to fall asleep soon enough from the gentle rocking. It helped that he was using his nen to help ease the pain in your neck, healing it slowly, day by day.
When you woke up, Kurapika was awake, bags under his eyes as he watched you. His hands were petting you, caressing your face and running over your hair. “You’re awake…”
He sighed in relief, relaxing against the bed. You rubbed your eyes, and noticed his were red and puffy from crying. Kurapika just looked exhausted overall.
“Did you… sleep?”
He looked away from you, his thumb rubbing against your cheek. “… a little. But…”
Kurapika couldn’t sleep much, worrying that somehow you would die in the middle of the night. So he stayed up, watching over you until you woke up.
“… I need a shower…”
You sat up and walked towards the bathroom door, a bit disturbed when he followed you. “Um…”
“Shh…”
He walked in with you, turning on the shower and grabbing you a towel. “I… won’t look. But I’m staying in here while you shower.”
His words left no room for arguing, so you undressed and got into the shower. You were too tired to complain, and too afraid of what he might do if you asked him to leave. You could tell he was unstable now, and you couldn’t predict what he was thinking or going to do when he was like this.
And it scared you.
Kurapika knew he was being clingy and selfish, but he just couldn’t shake the fear that if he left you alone for even a second, something bad would happen.
As soon as you were dressed, he was back to clinging to you. Before he had taken you away, when the two of you were madly in love, you would have been incredibly happy to have all of his attention on you.
But now all you wanted was to be left alone. He was smothering you, keeping your body flush against his as he breathed in the smell of your shampoo.
He just wanted to know that you were still here… that you were still all his.
Kurapika wrapped his arms around you, resting his chin on the top of your head. “… I’m sorry, (Name).”
You didn’t respond, simply holding onto his shirt.
“I’m sorry I can’t love you like a normal man could. You’d probably be much happier with someone that didn’t keep you locked up in a cage like some sort of exotic animal. Someone that wasn’t so scared to lose you that he hurt you himself…”
He held onto you so tight you winced.
“But I’m selfish.”
Tears dropped onto your head, and he choked up. “I’m so selfish (Name), and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry… I’ll never be able to let you go.”
You weren’t really sure how to feel. On one hand, there was a time where you had loved Kurapika more than anything… but on the other, he was now your captor, keeping you from being free.
Still… you buried your face into his neck. Even captive birds wanted their owner’s comfort sometimes, and they even could give some comfort back.
“Don’t cry… let’s… just go back to bed.”
Despite the fact it was early morning, he didn’t protest, carrying you back to bed and pulling the blanket over your bodies.
“I love you…”
The words were soft, full of affection and a hint of guilt, as if his love was something shameful and scary. You nodded, laying you head against his chest as he held you tightly.
“Love you too…”
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r--kt · 5 months
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Where actually was this betrayal line for Obito that Kakashi had crossed?
about the whole "anyone got Kakashi, but not Obito" thing that @komihoyinsblog said. I remembered where the culmination of this theme was. no, like, this whole topic is real!
let's talk about the scene after when Jubito was defeated. here I will analyse kkobkk relationships and Obito's arc specifically.
contents | context · meaning of the scene · where's a mistake and where's a betrayal
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CH. 655
Context
during the battle with the shinobi alliance, Obito came face to face with a deeply repressed desire for another life, which he did not realize due to his position as the only one who can fulfill the tsukuyomi plan. the battle itself as well as the conversation with Naruto reminds Obito of the aspirations and values dear to him that he had to sacrifice. all this has noticeably hit Obito and now he is disarmed and stripped of his armor, which is metaphorically reflected in his half-naked body (and cuz fans love men's boobs).
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CH. 652. god, look how happy he is, I'm sobbing. love the way he never regrets about his scars, they're with him even in his imagination, that's a reminder of his core values.
structurally, in Obito's arc, this scene is the Collapse point and the end of the second act. here, the previous methods (the tsukuyomi plan) have shown their inconsistency, and the goal (peace for everyone and for him, too) has not been achieved, and he must find a new way to achieve this goal. at the beginning of the scene, he is confused, defeated and not ready to face the consequences.
why isn't he ready? he's lying there, seemingly resigned. yeah, not exactly. here, he accepted the impending death, and it's even not bad to die by Kakashi's hand to some extent. another question is, is he ready to talk to him, is he ready to accept the defeat and find the strength to continue the journey?
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Meaning of the scene
once again, it is important that the battle with the alliance and the conversation with Naruto influenced Obito, but did not convince him. it was Kakashi who did it.
in fact, this conversation with Kakashi is a crucial reason for Obito to return to his ideals. before that, he was in doubt (the second act is a reflection of the character, as if hesitating from one side to the other), and after that he takes the side of the alliance. what did Kakashi say that made Obito come back?
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three questions Obito is asking.
how can you be sure that Naruto won't fail on his way, unlike me? [pic 2, above]
why are you so attached to Naruto, what's the difference between him and me? [pic below]
why are you willing to help him (and not me)? [pic below]
they don't talk about different paths here. Kakashi emphasizes that Obito's path is not exactly wrong, so that's not the deal. it's about Obito and Naruto as people, and, more, about Kakashi's opinion on Obito.
finding out why he is not the one whose path Kakashi is ready to defend is essential for Obito. he wants to understand why Naruto (aka Obito's previous self, too) is closer to him, why Kakashi does not support the actual one for whom he grieved so much. why, even recognizing the possible correctness of tsukuyomi, Kakashi refuses to support Obito in this, prefers to go the same way. and also look at how damn emotional he is at this moment, his feelings go from anger to anxiety in a couple of frames. that's what happened when the central conflict "I'm never good enough to be loved" is raised.
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Obito's questions are a subconscious appeal to Kakashi — "why don't you choose me? I could make you happy. what's wrong with me again?!" he thinks that the reason Kakashi doesn't take his side is not because of the correctness of his path, but because of Obito himself. subconsciously, he thinks that it's because of Kakashi's personal dislike of this "new" Obito, and he is very afraid of this might be true. just look at his face at the bottom of the page, he's really worried about hearing Kakashi's answer. oh, and it's actually the same meaning as "I thought, maybe you could love me like you used to, even though I'm different" [ Jinx's quote from Arcane, yes, I like to compare these two sometimes ].
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what Kakashi says in this situation means "let me help you." Kakashi said he would be ready to help Obito if he let him in, if he allowed him. this is literally the only condition (which is important to mention here) under which Obito did not pass, because of his desire to reject Kakashi's help, believing that he must put his life on tsukuyomi plan and cut off all ties. but this does not mean that he wanted Kakashi to cut off this tie in return.
Obito was an individualist, and he only scoffed or got angry at Kakashi's offer to help/sympathize. now they're in a situation when Obito finally hear that Kakashi said "you've made mistakes, but that's okay. I can be with you, if you need me to, and I'm okay with you continuing your life and reaching peace. I accept you and I believe in you." and I want you to appreciate that this is the tipping point of Obito's arc.
so, that's why Obito changes his way of acting. Kakashi shows that he accepts Obito the way he is, and thus significantly reduces Obito's need to prove his worth through his own hardships and overcoming difficulties. yes, Kakashi had already said similar things before, and it didn't work, but here this line is resolved precisely because of this deep conversation they had.
Where's a mistake and where's a betrayal
oh, maybe Rin's death was a thing Obito considered a betrayal from Kakashi's part? everything's much less trivial. would he offer to help Kakashi if he thought he was a traitor? and well, he offered.
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CH. 630
no, look at his face on the bottom right, why would you say that with such a gentle face to someone you consider a traitor? what is it, a genuine smile? so something happened besides that.
the betrayal was that Kakashi preferred his other ties to the connection with Obito. here, betrayal is not about killing Rin, and not about breaking a promise — all these are mistakes that Obito is able to forgive.
all the moments when Obito says something like "you had the opportunity to kill me, but you didn't do it", "you can't deal with me because of guilt?", "still blaming yourself for the broken promises?" - all this is an attempt to increase his own value, to show the importance of Obito for Kakashi. and it's also a projection. Obito says, "you had so many opportunities to kill me, but you..." although he does the same. like, why would he leave Kakashi alive after the kamui battle? intentionally inflict a non-fatal wound on him and leave him in a dimension that only he and Obito have access to? "I don't care if he's alive or dead," but at every opportunity he chose the option "alive", even if it's less profitable for him. my baby loves to deceive himself so much.
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all this time, Obito believed that he was striving for their common dream, and therefore the condemnation from Kakashi (there should be a couple more frames from the manga) feels like the most painful blow for him, especially when Kakashi says that Rin would not want it either. before that, Obito had compared himself and Kakashi a couple of times, put them on an equal footing, and after being rejected by him, that's where Obito feels really lonely.
the point of no return was precisely the fact that Kakashi shows with his own words that he does not accept the current Obito and everything he's been striving for years. all this, taken together, he considered a betrayal, as if he's not enough, as if he fucked everything up again.
therefore, their conflict is resolved by the acceptance of one person by another, this is in fact exactly what Obito's heart wanted — to hear that he could be accepted after all that had happened. the same thing happened after his death, when he finally met Rin, by the way.
hope the text is not that messy. oh, and! that kkob video I've made with mitski's song. this fits the topic so well. love these guys
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punkpandapatrixk · 6 months
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💝Valentine & White Day Love Transmission ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card
In Japan and Korea, Valentine's is when femmes give gifts to hommes; and exactly a month after that, on March 14th, the hommes return that Love with white (preferably) gifts that are expected to be at least three times the value/price of whatever gifts they’d received from the femmes😏
Traditionally it’s kinda like that. Hmmm… isn’t it obvious the celebration has never had quite any meaning in a country such as Japan and that the festivity is nothing more than a heavily-commercialised youth-tradition focused on the pursuit of shallow material desires?🤮
But…I guess it’s OK; because it’s cute anyway🥴
Within the context of this reading, the Valentine and White Day Love Transmission imparts the perfect synchrony of the Love shared by the Divines Feminine and Masculine. It is when affection is given and returned in Love and everything becomes beautiful and worth living for~💝
SONG: Space Orphans by Aoba Ichiko
MOVIE: Peter Pan (2003)
[PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 1 – Don’t give up just yet; I’m on my way!
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8 of Cups Rx, 4 of Pentacles Rx, Knight of Cups Rx
Darling, are you on the precipice of giving up on me?! Do NOT settle for someone—ANYONE—who’s NOT me! OMG, babe! I’m coming! Divine Timing is just being a bitch but I’m on my way to you!🦎Well, the thing is…we both have this annoying thing called a spiritual transformation… Until that’s happened—and nearly completely—we can’t be together just yet. But wait, I promise you it’s all worth it in the end🎁
I mean, why wouldn’t you wait for someone like me? I’m romantic; kind and sweet; I AM RICH; and I will always be there to protect you—I intend to always be your confidant and best friend🥰I will never betray you in any way. I’m your best friend who will skip right next to you on our way to beat up a bitch; figuratively, babe—I’m not really the type of person who gets violent LOL
What I do mean is, I want to give you a Life in which you cease to worry about small things. I want it to be that when you’re with me you no longer worry about a lack of means, a lack of warmth, or a lack of security. You’re somebody who deserves to be loved and to be very happy; and I want to give it all to you. And that’s why it’s important for me to become the best version of myself first😝
I’ve got to admit I’ve not always been the nicest, goodest person to have walked on Earth. I’m changing my ways, you know. I’m growing up; I’m developing; I’ve now been awakened and I’m still working on me, so that when I finally meet you, I will not disappoint you. Because I will never want to be a reason you stopped believing in the good of people😤I intend to be the complete opposite of that.
Fall in love with me, my dear. Fall in love with Life again when you meet me. Life is an adventure and finding me has got to be the greatest story ever told. I’ll tell you all of my crazyass stories when we meet. And I’m longing to hear you talk of your losses and triumphs. We’ll both gaze at the stars and wonder how they aligned to have us meet in this lifetime. I will be so grateful.
You know, generally speaking, I’m somewhat of an extrovert and I socialise well and I think quite positively about people. Maybe you will worry that I’m a playa of sort but right now, let me promise you this one thing: I’M NOT! I’m friendly, my love, but it doesn’t mean I wanna fuck somebody who’s not you. I dunno, I kinda have the handsome face of a smooth operator but on the inside, I’m really NOT!😩I’m really quite romantic and I believe in true love.
And honestly, at this point in my Life, I know you’re out there being all destined for me. You’re all I want. I’m on my way. So don’t you settle for any low-quality slob. Get ready, baby~ KNOCK KNOCK~🪄🚪
A LIFE WITH YOU, MY LOVE🔻❤️
Priestesses of Purity & Divination
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 2 – Everybody finds Love in the end; you included~
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Ace of Cups Rx, 7 of Cups Rx, 4 of Wands
My Dear, I know Life has not treated you too kindly and your heart’s been broken too many times. It’s been pretty much like that for me, too! I’ve lived a very lonesome existence, wondering where my people are. Wondering if I’ll ever find Love in this lifetime. I know now that those whose hearts are tender find it harder to truly connect with someone. We’re not BROKEN! No, we’re not! The ‘problem’ with us is that we crave soul-deep connections~ And damn, that’s rare, indeed🍀
You know what I’m doing right now? I’m single as a pringle. I’m not opening my heart to anybody. My colleagues all think I’m crazy, offbeat, and even difficult, just because I ain’t settling. Tch, I’m the only one noticing all of their subpar relationships, and some of them are not even the slightest bit happy with the partnership they’ve got. I don’t want that. For fuck’s sake I DON’T want that, ever! I’ve always had this strange, inexplicable feeling, that people are supposed to marry whom they love.
I want LOVE. I crave that shit so bad I dunno what I’m gonna do with myself🙈
One thing I know for sure though: if I’m not with you, you who are just like me, everything in the world is pointless. There is only calm in my world when I’m thinking of you. I don’t even know who you are; but I get optimistic every time I indulge in thoughts of finding you. I… fantasise a lot…?🌈Do you ever think about me? Does your heart bloom with a peculiar kind of softness when you touch upon my consciousness?💫
I am out here in this Star System. Dream of me. Want me more. And believe that we can manifest each other through resonance. We are so much closer than you fear us to be, my Dear. You have to believe in me. The Stars have begun to align and Earth’s temperature is nearing just right🍵Our time is here :D When dreams become Reality and all that’s ever been sad turn to glory, what would you do?
I know what you’re gonna do: you’re going to be married to me😝We’re going to start a new chapter of our lives together and be very happy and abundant. I’m gonna help you prove everybody who’s ever hurt you, gaslit you into believing that you’re hard to love very, very wrong😒All of that gas, when I light the match, is gonna burn their entire house down!🔥
OK, I’m a bit crazy, but anyway—
You do know that good people always find Love in the end, right? That’s just how it always is in fairy tales. You know fairy tales are more real than any of Hollywood’s propaganda, right?🐵Right??🙊I love you. I have loved you for what feels like an eternity. Return to me now. Come home to me, my Love. I am You; you are Me. We’re going to turn everything back to balance; we’re gonna create Heaven on Earth; a harmonious Life of you and me; so have faith in us~🎎
A LIFE WITH YOU, MY LOVE🔻💙
Priestesses of Integrity & Solitude
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 3 – You are someone’s Dream Come True; you ever thought about that??
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9 of Cups, 2 of Cups, King of Cups
You, are someone’s Wish Fulfilment; you ever thought about that? No, of course not; you only thought about yourself and how lacking you are as a person blablabla😡Don’t you know there’s a little someone walking this Earth who’d be SO glad to have you in their Life? Yup, that someone is ME😏You are a treasure of a gal/boy and if you’ve been surrounded by fools who can’t see that, it’s because you’re meant to travel the world and meet me~!
Have a change of scenery; you aren’t meant to thrive and live and die on the land you were born. When you cross borders and seas and realms, you’ll meet people of other cultures and points of view who are going to be more appreciative of the good you’ve been mocked(?) for🥰I promise you, babe~ You are where you are (or were) only because it was part of your Soul’s contract to learn about contrasts.
When all’s said and done, you’re going to be THE most interesting person anybody could listen to!🍿I, for one, could listen to you aaalll week long if you ever want to HAHAHA
My heart right now is like half-full, babe; I’m still waiting for you to appear in my Life. You probably won’t like hearing this because you’re independent, and you’re strong, and rebellious, but… I want you to be mine!🌹I don’t mean that I wish to suffocate you, no, it’s not like that at all… What I mean is, I wish to be the only one who could make you happy, for that would make me feel special🌞
I know I’m silly, I’m sorry~🥰I want to bring stability and certainty into your Life; that much I can say with clarity, for surely, you and I, we’re going to be pouring into each other’s Cups. We’re gonna be the kind of couple who can read each other’s minds and burst out laughing when we see something only we find funny without even exchanging words😂All of that, because of shared empathy~
Honestly, I couldn't care less for all the treasures in the world; I only want you around. Maybe that makes me a romanticist? Hm, that word doesn’t quite encompass all the feelings I have for you. All the things I wish to share with you. All that I’d do for you. What I know is that this is no mere romance; I LOVE you, you know? It goes so much deeper than that🌊
I’m mature, nurturing and caring. Find me, my Love. I’ll nurse you back to health—spiritually and everythingally; I’ll be the reason your faith in Humanity is restored. Actually, it doesn’t even matter; I just want you to trust in me, see yourself through my eyes, see how wonderful of a being you are. I want you to trust in yourself. You’re so fucking special. You’re MY very special kind of Wish Fulfilment☃️
A LIFE WITH YOU, MY LOVE🔻💗
Priestesses of Love & Healing
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
[PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]
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lucysarah-c · 4 months
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Following your answer on homosexuality in AoT, how would sexism in AoT be handled on both sides of the spectrum, female and male, on Paradis and in Marley?
Hi, dear! How are you?
Ah, that's such a good question. You know, I did a post about it a LONG time ago, but it’s a topic I touch on a lot in my fics and here from time to time.
I'll set the context of my reply with three ideas. First, sexism or misogyny ALWAYS exists. It exists in our society like oxygen does. In many countries, it’s not the same sexism as in the 1800s, but it still exists. Second, the Scouts PER SE are the "wokes" of their time; they don't have the same views, lives, and beliefs as regular people inside the walls. So I always think that the Scouts are a bit of an "exception" from the rest of Paradis.
Third, and I state this because my blog is Levi-centered, Levi is ALREADY a person, and in particular, a man, with a very different and unique upbringing. I DO believe that Levi has a more "modern" or "woke" view on "women," "women's rights," and "house chores" than the rest of the men. I'll simply say this: a man who saw his mother being treated like garbage because she worked as a prostitute, a man who had to raise himself, and a man who RAISED a girl out of pure heart. I hardly think he judges women on how they dress, who they sleep with, or thinks that "a man shouldn't cook or clean/take care of the kids." So Levi is kind of an exception for me. This doesn't mean he doesn't have internalized misogyny or "micro-sexism" (which I'll talk about later).
Overall, despite both societies allowing "women" in the military, I don't think their views on women or men's roles are much different. I believe there are a few clear examples of this in the manga. If my memory serves me correctly (and take this with a grain of salt because I know that Isayama gave multiple interviews, and a lot of them were edited), he said on one occasion that the Scouts were different because usually, everybody helps with all the chores, like cooking, cleaning, etc., because they work more united and as a family than the rest of the military divisions. Second, he said in one interview right after the manga ended that when he draws "military boards or higher ranks," he always keeps in mind not to add women because they aren't allowed.
Other scenes that quickly come to mind that make me think that Paradis (and I'll speak mostly of Paradis because we don't see much of Marley as a society) is a very sexist society with traditional views:
Most of the time, when we are shown military members from the Garrison OR the MPs, they are mostly men.
Which women are shown that are "recalled" from the Garrison? Riko and Anka… What role does Anka have? Being a secretary for Pixis, more or less, a very stereotypical role for a woman.
A very memorable woman from the MPs is Hitch, and there's a scene where it's clearly said that "there's only one way a woman like Hitch can get into the MPs," basically stating that she made sexual favors to get into that position.
Not a single scene from the military board or higher-up positions shows a single woman.
All the mothers of the characters shown in the story are "housewives" or "stay-at-home moms," which is absolutely fine if a woman decides to dedicate her time to her family as long as it’s a decision she made and not because she didn’t have "other options." Even Eren's mother, Carla, is shown to work as a waitress before she became a mother and a housewife.
All this makes me conclude that probably women inside the military never reach far, either because they aren't allowed (men are preferred over them, offered better positions, promoted first) or because once they get married, they are expected to become stay-at-home wives. I can clearly imagine people thinking that if you get promoted as a woman, it's because you're sleeping with your boss, or if you haven't gotten married and had kids at a certain age, "you're wasting your time" or "a woman's role is to be a mom; they only feel fulfilled like that."
This creates a power dynamic: women are expected to be wives; therefore, men are expected to be the main providers. And this is something I can see men, particularly Levi, being affected by. In my fic, I wrote once that Levi gets very offended when the reader invites or pays for him because she comes from a wealthy family. For Levi, as internalized misogyny, HIS role as a man is to provide. What kind of man is he if he's not paying? Especially for the Scouts' men, it's said that the Scouts have the lowest salaries in the military. If they can't provide, their chances of getting married are probably low. Even today, a lot of men get sensitive or offended if their wives make more money than them. Or men get irrationally jealous and butthurt if their women are more successful than them.
Another way men might get the sour end is in terms of emotional availability. While women's harsh reality is known, men's struggles often aren't. For example (one from Marley), Reiner's mother suffers a lot of social prejudice because she had a kid out of wedlock, and her only "salvation" is that Reiner becomes a warrior. Even today, men struggle with being emotionally available and having more feelings than just "lust and anger." I can totally see men all over the AoT world having to be these "very tough" guys who are only allowed to be "human" when they are alone with "their girl/wife." This happened a lot after WWI; men were sent back home with horrible memories of war and society expected them to just "toughen up and be men." Go, work, and provide for your family; and if you're suffering from everything you lived, then learn to be a man.
It's like I can literally imagine Erwin perhaps complaining that he's having a hard time, and Zackly or any other dude would be like, "You know what you need? A wife; she will take care of the rest."
"I don't have time to dedicate."
"Doesn't matter, a good wife always understands."
"… my salary isn't that good."
"Oh well, you know it's never too late for you to change divisions and settle down." pat on the back lmao end of the advice, and Erwin has the same emotional stress as before.
Overall, I think their views are probably as traditional as they were only a couple of years ago. This is completely ignorable for the sake of fanfiction and having fun; not every piece you write has to send a message or be political. But if you ask me how I think canon AoT characters are, I believe a good part of them, if not most, would be very traditional.
Hope this helps! I tried to cover everything I could remember while being as concise as possible. Thank you so much for your question!
Lots of love!
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notebookqueenofnarnia · 8 months
Text
Okay Demigods
now that Season 2 has been confirmed (!!!!!!!!!!) I am here to make my official appeal that you ALL read the books. and yes...i mean ALL the books. Because here is what you are missing if you don't:
(mostly spoiler free. mostly vibes and chaotic no context)
OG PERCY JACKSON
Percy's INCREDIBLE sarcasm
Lots of chaotic Mr. D moments
Percy's unending absolute obliviousness when it comes to: his own abilities/powers, his own feelings towards a certain daughter of Athena, and EVERYONE'S feelings towards him
the full list of Percy's felonies (it's longer than you think!)
how much Percy thinks about Annabeth, especially in the third book
The Hunters of Artemis (everyone's like 'which godly parent would you have?' but im like ??? who cares??? I'm running off with the girls to immortal to hunt men i mean monsters)
soooooooooo much Sally Jackson is the Best Mom (to everyone who walks through her door) content
BLACKJACK. TRANS ICON BLACKJACK THE PEGASUS.
Rachel. Elizabeth. Dare. (this is how the audiobook says her name every single time)
Paul Blofis
Sally Jackson, author
Poseidon: Blowfish?
HEROES OF OLYMPUS
If you don't read these books you are missing out on some of the coolest female characters Rick has created: PIPER (an iconic), HAZEL (unintentionally hilarious), REYNA (beautiful character arc), and ANNABETH's point of view will have you loving her on a whole other level, trust me
Also: COACH HEDGE
Leo
All The Ladies Love Leo
the audiobooks are INSANE. It felt like a full cast read the book, but no. it was just one insanely talented narrator.
FESTUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS (im a dragon girlie)
Personally, I spent a lot of time reading the OG 5 wondering about how Roman mythology plays into Percy's world. Uncle Rick answered my questions and answered them SO WELL
Hazel the horse girl
Frank the horsebirddolphinman
Frank, gentle himbo, my beloved son
MY FAVORITE SCENE WHICH INVOLVES PERCY NOT KNOWING HOW TO DRIVE, A HARPY, FRANK, AND HAZEL AND THEYRE ALL SCREAMING AND IM PRETTY SURE STUFF IS ON FIRE
Forced Proximity for 7 teenagers and one chaotically violent satyr (that's Coach Hedge)
Eros/Cupid being one the most genius things Rick's ever written
Percy's hate of Ares transcending god magic
(also his love of Annabeth, but that's like obvious)
PercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabethPercabe
weird barely gnome things
this one giant whose name is definitely not pronounced like female anatomy
everyone thinking Percy and Annabeth are constantly getting up to the hanky panky
a statue made me cry
Gay Grumpy/Sunshine (or should that be Death/Sunshine) origins!!
TRIALS OF APOLLO
Apollo, vain himbo of godly proportions is forced to live as Lester Papadopoulos
Percy: why
a very chaotic twelve year old daughter of Demeter
she commands Apollo around
plant magic
terrible great haikus at the start of every chapter
Sally Jackson being the best mom to everyone who comes to her door
magic shoes
a sassy magic prophetic arrow that talks in Shakespearean English
so much gay grumpydeath/sunshine content
also yes sunshine's dad is Apollo
Apollo sings
Grover! Piper! Reyna! Hazel! All the friends! Everyone
Jason! (also im sorry)
what if there were some trees who were an elite squad of warriors who also answer to the chaotic twelve year old
gay moms of the midwest
unicorns
in the last book, chiron takes the campers on a 'field trip' to help take down the big baddie and he shows up dressed as a warrior soccer mom with granola bars, water bottles, and extra swords attached to his fanny pack
a different chaotic twelve year old while fighting to the death in a building that's on fire: "CAN WE GO ON FIELD TRIPS EVERY WEEK?"
chiron: "ROSE DEAR RAISE YOUR SWORD A LITTLE HIGHER!"
okay im not going to spoil it but in the last book there is also this extremely horrifyingly violent moment that Uncle Rick somehow turns into one of the most hilarious things i've ever read
Piper in the epilogue
CHALICE OF THE GODS
more insanely funny percy first person narration
Grover, Percy, Annabeth reunite ("the gang is back together!" "The three musketeers!" "Shrek, Fiona, and Donkey!" "Excuse me?")
have you met the god of himbos? (Percy has)
SO
MANY
EASTER
EGGS
for Season one. you can totally see how Uncle Rick worked on the script and chalice together
if you liked Annabeth shoving Percy into the water....this one is for you
Percy, supreme god of snakes
the cutest cutest cutest cutest Percabeth content you will ever read
hippie gods (yes more than one)
Percy is literally obsessed with Annabeth
Annabeth already being the Jackson daughter in law
Sally Jackson and Paul and
For the record: You CAN read Chalice of the Gods without reading the other series, but please please please read all these books. The audiobooks are phenomenal.
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manikas-whims · 18 days
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Since Xavier is so little prince coded is mc the lone rose 🌹 back on his planet or the fox 🦊
Ohhh wow Anon..I didn't want to think too much on this, mostly because I read The Little Prince like..years ago and the plot isn't that coherently in my head but let's see..
The obvious interpretation can be..
Xavier is the little prince, traveling through the space, wandering on all these planets, learning something new everyday, learning from the people he meets and in turn teaching them something as well..
Queen MC should represent the rose, the Prince’s beloved whom he has left. In the book, the Prince leaves the Rose due to her vain, proud and naive behaviour. But here in Love and Deepspace, the Prince has left his beloved in order to save her from the fate destined for her..In a way, the rose has always been the major source of motivation for his travels..
Then..that must imply that the Fox represents the current timeline MC? In a way, yeah you could say that. The Fox becomes a dear friend and teaches the prince the significance of people in his life. About how one person in this sea of so many, becomes important because of the connection we share with said person, and the time we spend cultivating said relationship with them. The Fox calls this “taming”. According to the fox, “to tame means to establish ties.”
“If you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world.” says the Fox.
And since Xavier has left his planet, as well as his timeline and met the current MC, they both have been slowly taming each other i.e. they've been slowly establishing a bond with each other with every encounter and moment spent together in the main story.
Now in The Little Prince..
The Fox teaches the Prince the importance of ties and significance of one person compared to the rest around them:
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
And the Fox makes the Prince realize how dear his beloved Rose is to him, and that he has a responsibility towards the Rose:
“You mustn’t forget it. You become responsible forever for what you’ve tamed. You’re responsible for your rose.”
So if Love and Deepspace writers take the same route..
then in accordance, there will come a point that Xavier might have to leave the current MC and go back to his own timeline’s Queen MC (which is exactly what he came back in time for) because he has a responsibility. And the responsibility in this context is that he vowed to himself that he'll save her life. Get her out of this cursed fate of dying and being brought back to life over and over for the sake of a planet.
BUT!
THIS IS A CHINESE OTOME GAME! And yes while that justifies nothing, I firmly believe that it is highly unlikely that the game might follow this route..
..simply because Xavier himself has never acted as such. He's been nothing but protective towards the current MC. He's been killing his own ex-teammates from the Backtrackers in order to protect MC. And he doesn't hesitate in doing so which in itself cement his standpoint and his feelings towards the current MC.
Also, I believe that..IN ESSENCE, QUEEN MC AND CURRENT MC HAVE THE SAME SOUL, AND ARE THE SAME PERSON.
So our MC doesn't need to be the Rose or the Fox. She most likely is both a cherished friend and a lover to Xavier because she is afterall, the same person. With the amount of times she's died (or forced into dying), it's obvious that the Queen MC from Xavier's actual timeline could very well be the current MC who's died so many times that in a distant future, she is reborn and exists in the same era as the one that Xavier comes from.
My word is not absolute, and this is still a very rough way to put it all into words. But I do firmly believe that that one thing that the antis keep using to antagonise Xavier will not come true because he's always been in love with ONE person and our MC as well as the Queen MC are THAT one and the same person.
» But hey! If Xavier does betray current timeline MC, then we might possibly get a plotline/route like I posted about [HERE] and I am not averse to that.
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aurae-rori · 1 month
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do you want my ratio brainworm of the day. trick question you’re getting it. so i find it really fun to analyze the story vs. gameplay paths of characters but ratio is so interesting because we really Only have his gameplay path to go on. you could assume in universe he’s an erudition pathstrider, but given his feelings on nous, does he have the faith to do that? or it could be the hunt, but that’s just assuming that his gameplay and story path line up. we know he Has to be a pathstrider of some kind but we have no idea which one, and whether he holds any faith in aeons whatsoever. (elation ratio fans, here’s your crumbs.)
personally i do really love the hunt on him because of what it says about him thematically. every character who’s hunt in gameplay is pursuing something with single-minded focus, but their motivations seem to usually be rooted in what they love and want to protect, rather than what they hate and want to destroy, which seems antithetical to the whole war between lan and yaoshi, but it also seems to really fit with how lan is characterized OUTSIDE of the context of yaoshi- i.e. “be not afraid, o child of the world,” and so on, from tales about the stars. of COURSE this is ratio’s path! he cares so much about PEOPLE, of course he pursues betterment and a higher quality of life for them all— ratio loves humanity so much it burns him!! he loves and loves like the lux arrow itself, descending to purge ignorance, those wicked abominations. he encourages people to stand on their own feet, follow the trail that arrow leaves behind. i think if ratio ever had the chance to speak to lan, they’d find imperfect mirrors in each other, and that’s beautiful to me.
tldr: hunt ratio says a lot of strikingly beautiful and poignant things about the sort of person ratio is, and it’s very dear to me!
-aria nightshade ☆
i literally have been meaning to answer this ask for a MONTH and i think that this is an excellent ratio analysis guys look theyre so fucking right for this.
love and protection - caring for humanity, literally, i think it's a rather excellent portrayal of his character, even if indirectly and everything you said is absolutely right. AAGH i am normal i am normal and if i had more energy i would word vomit about how much he cares but i have already done that before haha but this is wonderful and i love this brainworm :)
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reblogandlikes · 1 month
Text
Self insert Fandom
I've come to realise that most of the toxicity within the acotar fandom is often rooted in a ridiculous amount of self insert. They see a character as them, therefore their actions are absolved. They see another character in their abuser, or worse, 'as' their abusers and so they can never be impartial towards them, thinking the worst because in real life they've dealt with a lot.
I get it. Art can sometimes mimic reality, but they are indeed forgetting that this is a whole fantasy fiction book about human women turned fae getting dicked down with a hint of war and political intrigue. These characters are not, in fact, you or your abusers. Making the series so personal to themselves can then lead to a lack of introspection of the work as a whole made to be enjoyed and critiqued to the readers' preference, whether shallow or in depth.
But because this fandom in particular seem to make these books so personal than reading it as a piece of fiction, they're inflicting real world scenarios onto fictional characters and if their characters face any backlash or reasonable questioning, they take it as a personal attack which for some reason leads to insults and wild assumptions of very REAL people.
"No, no one is saying you should forgive your abuser mum, boyfriend, sister, because this literally isn't about you. I dont know you or your situation. Im talking about *insert character*."
"No, I don't think reactive abuse is OK, though I also don't believe lying about SA is OK either, let alone condoning SA."
"What do you mean it's abusive to lock someone up and then make an excuse to say it's not abuse to lock someone else up?"
The mental gymnastics is truly outstanding. If they're so called morally grey, let them be just that.
Speaking for myself, it's easy to find some commonality in a characters personality. It's written by a whole human who has a personality too, after all. But I do not attach myself to these characters as if they are my family members or those dear to me. They are, in fact, not real, and I will talk about them in the context of a fantasy text, generally.
Now the moment you take their actions out of a fantasy text, every character, and I mean, every character, needs to be dealt with the same scrutiny. Your faves will be called out and dragged. You cannot call real people names, but then think highly of yourself when your faves have done worse. What does that then make you? A racist? A misogynist? An AS denier? An abuse apologist? Someone who endorses apartheid? Someone who's OK with controlling the female body? A war criminal?
You see how absurd that all is?
Honestly, it's not that deep. But again, it's not bad to see yourself in character. Just realise that when people have some reservations about them, they are not calling YOU out. They are strictly talking about that character and that character alone. But maybe if you find so much offence, perhaps you should think about why that is. Look deep and figure out why it troubles you so much. Perhaps they're holding up a mirror, and you simply can not bear to look into it, seeming that that character represents you so much.
I think this is the only fandom I've been involved in where simply daring to disagree with the main MC and side characters can lead to online prosecution and just so much hostility. I've seen some truly nasty comments, and it's boggling. I can imagine how off-putting it may seem to newer readers.
I long for the days when people can talk about the characters and narrative alone without feeling the need to make disclosures about what they support in real life because it's truly unnecessary. I thought reading fiction was meant to be a form of escapism, not defending my moral standpoint.
If I said I enjoyed Katherine Pierce, Klaus Mikaelson and Kai Parker from TVD, what then? They're despicable, but fucking enjoyable. Don't get me started on Game of Thrones characters.
Alright, I'm done now 😅
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mamapyjama · 2 years
Text
I’ve been rereading the current anime arc in the manga, and finally got to The Apology™️, and I wondered what words Katsuki used before translation.
Disclaimer: I’m sure others must have posted about this before but I couldn’t recall reading it myself. I do remember there was a lot of talk about the way he used “gomen” as the Japanese fandom were saying how cute and childlike it sounded, so I thought I’d see if there was anything else interesting there.
Oh, my sweet sweet baby boy…
So, just before he says ‘Sorry for everything’ (ima made gomen), he says:
言ってどうにかなるもんじゃねェけど
本音だ
出久
“Itte dōnika naru mon ja nē kedo… Honne da…Izuku”
Which in the English translation, gave us:
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And “speak my truth” is lovely and all, but the word from the original that stuck out for me was ‘honne’.
I’m not sure how familiar most people are with honne–tatemae (I only know about it because I go way way too in-depth when researching for my fics lol), but it’s a concept that every Japanese person is deeply aware of, and underpins much of their society.
Here’s the Wikipedia intro:
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Ohhh, that is some extra juicy context for Kacchan’s speech. Essentially, he is saying that everything up until now has been his tatemae, a public façade to protect his own position (strong, powerful hero etc), but that he can’t keep that up and he wants Izuku to see his honne, his true, private self.
Excuse me while I melt from the cuteness.
But WAIT! There’s more!
How much do you know about second-person pronouns in Japanese? (Nope, this isn’t about ‘kare’ again this time hehe).
You’ve probably noticed in the anime that Kacchan says “Temee” a lot, and you may have also noticed that it tends to get translated as cursing. So it actually just means ‘you,’ but like a really rude way of saying it, such that the only way of reflecting that in English is to replace ‘you’ with something like Bastard or Asshole.
Again, have an expert explain:
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This and the below are from a very excellent article about second-person pronouns and how they are used for context and drama in anime specifically. I’d recommend reading it as the context is really interesting!
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So although pronouns aren’t actually commonly used or necessary in much spoken Japanese, when they are used, it’s a deliberate way to tell you about the relationship dynamic between two characters.
But why, you may ask, am I talking about pronouns again?!
Because, dear friends, throughout the first half of his speech, Kacchan uses ‘temee’ as usual to describe his past with Izuku. I’ve highlighted it below, and pls also note the shaky speech bubble showing his nerves during the ‘honne’ section. 🥺
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HOWEVER, straight after he says he wants Izuku to see his Honne, Katsuki switches pronouns from ‘Temee’ (v rude), to ‘Omae’ (very casual/familiar). Below is the page after the apology.
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Considering we now know pronouns are not necessary to convey meaning, that’s a hell of a lot of omaes on one page!! Boy cannot get enough of saying it.
If you want more about the different pronouns, see below for a helpful table of common uses for both. And please indulge my shippy heart for highlighting the second usage (but, like ‘kare’, you never know)…
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Katsuki is showing Izuku immediately and repeatedly that this is who he wants to be to him and how he wants the world to see them. His honne, his inner desire, is to be close to Izuku, to treat him as an equal.
He’s not just saying sorry, he’s showing that—at least from his perspective—things are going to be different from now on. But, like, also, that this was how he felt about him in private the whole time?! GAHHHH.
So there you go, the apology that was already a massive turning point in their story/relationship was actually even deeper and more beautiful than we all thought. Yet again, Japanese conveys nuance and intention far beyond what can be translated. 😭💕
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alpaca-clouds · 17 days
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Astarion's Plotline and the Thing About Consent
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Let me talk about one thing I find weirdly underdiscussed in the BG3 fandom. Technically this does not only concern Astarion, but also a lot of the other romanceable options. but I see it most discussed with Astarion especially in regard of one thing.
I am not the only person who feels icky about the graveyard sex. Not becasue of the graveyard, but because of the context in which it happens. Aka: Astarion has had the hell of one day. He has confronted his trauma in so many ways, he has almost died, he managed to overcome Cazador, and he actually managed to remain himself rather than becoming Cazador. I absolutely do understand that our dear fanged friend kinda wants to celebrate his freedom by finally having sex just because he wants to have it - but I also understand that for a good chunk... Him wanting to fuck in that scene is mostly him somehow trying to cope and not having learned good coping strategies, right?
However, whenever someone in fandom brings this up, quite often someone will reply: "People who are traumatized are still able to consent, you know?"
To which I - someone with tons of trauma - will just say: "Yeah, they can, but consent is something that happens from both sides."
Now, we will leave out the meta discussion that obviously Astarion, on the basis of being a fictional character in a game, obviously has no agency in either direction, while the player does. But ignoring that and just reading the in-game situation...
Tav, Durge, or whoever of the origin characters might be on that graveyard with Astarion in that scene still also have a right to not consent to it. And yes, say: "Hey, you had a hell of a day, and I am honestly not sure whether this is good for you, and if it turned out not to be I would feel really shitty about that" is actually a valid reason to not consent to have sex with someone.
Even if Astarion does want sex in that scene. Even if it turned out to be actually the thing he needed. The other person in the scene very much still has the right to say: "I am not feeling good about this, I don't want this, at least not now."
I am not saying that your own Tav/Durge needs to not be okay with it. They can be perfectly fine with it and have their kinky graveyard sex. What I am saying is, that not everyone is feeling like that - and that their feelings are valid, too.
And it is weird how some Astarion fans react to this, too. First there is the "but he can consent", to which I will just say: "Yeah, and his partner can also say that they don't consent". And then the people will go: "But he looks so sad if you say you don't wanna have sex with him." Which... I... Folks, for once: He is fiction. But also... Even if he wasn't fictional, he would have to live with it. It is not the job of his partner to fuck him whenever he wants sex. Again: Consent matters. And consent involves at least two people.
Like, folks. I am begging you. Just consider this fact. Consent has to come from everyone.
And I can tell you that at least my Tav in that situation did not feel very comfortable with the whole situation. I mean, this is how I wrote out the scene on the graveyard in my fic version of the evening.
“I think, I’ve been dead for along enough,” Astarion finally muttered. “It’s time to try living again.” He took a deep breath, trying to sort his thoughts, his feelings. Then he took the bard’s hands, smiling at him. “With everything life has to offer.” He did not even think about it much, as he gave his voice a sultry tone, and most certainly he had not expected Tav’s reaction. But the bard twitched just a bit. “Astarion…” He seemed awkward, uncertain. “I…” Astarion was not certain if the bard understood. “I want you. I think I might…” “Stop, please,” Tav whispered. There was a tremble going through his body, and an expression in his eyes, that felt like a dagger in Astarion’s heart. He didn’t understand. What was going on. “Don’t you…” It was hard to speak those words. “Don’t you want me?” He had not intended for his voice to sound as hurt as it did in the end. A sigh. Tav pulled his hands out of Astarion’s, before cupping Astarion’s face with them. “I want you. I do. And you know it. Just not… Not now.” “What is wrong with now?” There was hurt still. And anger. Just a bit of anger over the rejection. “What is wrong with now? I am finally free. I can finally…” “Astarion…” Tav was hesitating once more, before moving in closer, pressing his forehead against Astarion’s. “You have been through a lot today. A lot.” “Yes, I know. I was there, remember?” The sarcasm was back in Astarion’s voice. He tried to pull away, but though gently, the bard held onto him. “Please, look at me,” Tav said. “Let me…” He stopped, before letting go of Astarion. “Can I show you?” Now it was Astarion’s turn to pause. He understood, of course. He understood well. “Alright.” He opened himself up to Tav’s feelings – and they were strong. Warm, consuming almost. A want. A need. Fantasies. All there. And it made Astarion understand even less. “Then why?” “Because if I sleep with you again, I want to be sure that we both are going to feel good about it the next day,” Tav said gently. “And today, I cannot be sure of that.” Those words made nothing any clearer. “I don’t understand.” “Look. Today was so much for you. And I do not even need you to show me your feelings. I can tell like this. The sadness. The pain. You feel guilty, too. About those spawn that are more or less your responsibility. About killing Cazador, too.” “Why would I feel guilty about that?” “Because no matter how much you hated and feared him, you were also dependent on him for two hundred years,” Tav said. He took Astarion’s hands again, pressing them. “And there are probably a lot of other feelings, too.” His thumbs were caressing the backs of Astarion’s hands. He gave a tiny sigh. “Look at me.” Astarion had not even quite noticed that he no longer looked the man in the eyes. But he did now. The same, familiar green eyes. “I do not even trust myself right now,” Tav said. “I know I care about you, deeply. I want you. You have no idea how much I want you. But with all the chaos right now… I do not trust myself enough to say whether this is love or just…” Once more his thumbs so gently went over Astarion’s skin. “Right now, I am mostly worried about you. Because today was a lot. And I know those days. And I know what follows.”
And... It is just something that has to be considered. I mean, I know there are people who romance Karlach but still do not sleep with her, because their character is not ready for that. And that is just the thing. Consent has to come from both sides.
In that it does also not matter whether the player is uncomfortable or whether they have just an idea how their character would feel. For the scene playing out... The romancing partner can say "I don't consent." too.
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witchyfemking · 2 years
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🌹🐉Queen/Mother Lilith master-post 🐍🦇
DISCLAIMER
There are many people saying that working with Queen Lilith is closed, id ask that you please go to the last link. A Jewish content creator goes into detail about why 1.) That's false and 2.) Why claiming this is actually antisemitic.
I understand that this deity may hold a negative context to different people/cultures(i.e. people of Jewish culture)/faiths etc. Please be respectful and mindful. Both the people and the divinity have the right to respect. Just because a divinity/entity has been the best thing in the world to you, doesn’t mean that’s the case for someone else(vice versa). Thank you for your consideration.
Mother Lilith is a divinity that I hold very dear. She has been a big help to me and has guided me in my journery of self love and reparenting myself.
Lore/mythology (briefly summarized)
Lilith originally was the first wife of Adam; made from the same primordial matter as her counterpart by the one who created her. She has left the garden in anger because she refused to lay under Adam; Lilith wanted to be seen as Adams equal but he refused. God sent angels to take Lilith back to Eden at Adam’s request. She was located near/in/at the Red Sea. Her children had been slain because of her refusal to return. ( I have heard conflicting info from different sources but I’ll recall what I think is to be more accurate at this point). Some of the fallen angels (a big figure being Lord Lucifer) had made themselves acquainted with her and they had gained each others’ trust. This is the point where Lilith had became a demon and was at least set on the path to becoming a highly ranked Infernal deity(if not at this point already). Lilith at some point after this whispered empowering thoughts into Eve during her dreams; leading her to eat the fruit.
Lilith also has an aspect tied to the Mesopotamian demon Lilitu.
Signs/Symbols of Queen Lilith(some i’ve personally experienced as well):
Snake imagery
Birds( robins, cardinals, blue jays, doves, owls or any corvid/black bird) I’d like to mention that she left me a robin who had passed, cause she knew I’d give it a proper burial.
Witnessing any of her other sacred animals (mentioned below) or frequently seeing imagery of them
Me and other devotees of hers have known her to send really animal that’s black as signs
rose imagery
sudden interest in her
sudden yearning desire to explore oneself/identity
speaking up/ standing up for yourself in circumstances in which you normally wouldn’t
for uterus owners; in my personal experience she had gotten terribly frustrated that i wasn’t noticing her so she started affecting my ‘moon cycle’. I experienced irregularities, increased pain and moodiness. I also got much more fatigued during my time of the month in the time she was trying to get my attention. She may or may not feel the need to do something of this fashion to get your attention; My only assumption that she did so in my case is because I was extremely oblivious. However I highly implore you discuss things with your doctor before concluding that this is the cause.
You may notice the wind howling louder
Vampiric/Succubus imagery/energy
Draconic and/or primordial energy
Energy of water or the ocean
Feeling of not necessarily one certain element (maybe all of them together)
feelings of a motherly energy
dreams/visions of red or dark haired woman( i’ve honestly had her appear to me as blonde). She may be a witch, possibly a queen. She could be protecting you during the experience ( if you’re on her good side ofc)
Sacred animals of Queen Lilith
Snakes
Dragons
Hyenas
Cats of various kinds ( domestic, wild, especially with black or dark coats)
Ostriches
Spiders
Unicorns
Owls
Goats
Bats
What does Queen Lilith specialize in? What can she help you with?
taking back your power
shadow work ( specifically the feminine side of the side)
tapping into/ welcoming your dark feminine energy
welcoming dark femme energy into your life
dark femme workings
defends women/femmes and children who’ve suffered abuse(especially s3xually)
Improving sexual relationships
asserting independence
support in women/womxn’s/femmes rights
fighting oppression/sexisim placed on women/fem identifying people by the patriarchy(or in general)
assistance in gaining respect and/or recognition for contributions
exploring/awakening sexuality (especially if you need assistance with you libido)
sex magic ( more specifically feminine dominance)
Assistance with menstrual magic/spells/rituals
Help in any women/female health issues ( menstrual issues, moods swings, feritility, MtF/FtM etc.)
( i recommend you be treated by a medical professional along with the last point; mundane before magical; magic/spirituality shouldn’t be used in place of medical treatment, simply as support.)
Correspondences/ Offerings
Herbs/Plants/Scents:
Belladonna (POISONOUS)
Nightshade (POISONOUS)
Mugwort ( still use with caution)
Sandalwood(Red + White)
Patchouli
Rose
Jasmine
Lotus
Dragon’s Blood
Cinnamon
Olibanum
Camphor
Myrrh
Jasmine
Frankincense
Amber
Saffron
Crystals:
Onyx
Fire opal
Diamond
Ruby
Obsidian
Topaz
Red Jasper
Red Carnelian
Black Moonstone
Black tourmaline
Jet
Garnet
Clear quartz
Food/Drink:
Chocolate ( Especially anything Dark and/or spicy )
Lime
Pumpkins/ Gourds(idk if gourds are edible tho, but to a deity it doesn’t matter lmao)
Red velvet sweets
Chocolate cake
In my personal experience, she loved these Sriracha Peanut Butter Chocolate Cupcakes I used to be able to get.
Spicy foods
Apples
Pomegranates/Pomegranate juice
Colors:
Black
Reds (Especially blood red or velvet tone)
Purple
Orange
Gold
Magenta
Dark pink
Silver
Dark Grey
Time/Days:
Wednesday
Friday
Witching hour (either Midnight or anytime 3-4 am)
Dark/New Moon phase
Beltane Sabbat/May Day ( sexual theme of the holiday)
Oct. 24 ( some sources claim this is the day Lilith left Eden)
Feb 29 (on leap year. Woman are known to break traditional norms during this time)
Miscellaneous:
Empress (Tarot)
High Priestess (Tarot)
Moon ( Tarot)
Strength (Tarot)
Any Queen Card ( More Specifically to my UPG, Swords and Wands suits)
Air and Fire are her main elements. However, she does not limit herself to one specific element, she has traits of all.
Vampiric/Succubus energy
Draconic/Primordial Energy
What is she like?
To me, Lilith is very much like a mother. Im sure you could probably guess by how I addressed her in the beginning of this post( which I call her Mother Lilith for personal reasons). She very much holds the energy of a firm mother who cares very much for her children. Lilith is very much stern when she feels the need, but knows when you need her to be gentle. Many times she has been a source of comfort and encouragement for me. If you show her the decency and respect she deserves, she will give it to you in return. If she sees you as her child (or holds you dear in anyway) she will go to distant lengths to protect you or to show your abusers not to mess with you again ( at times on her own accord). There are times where she made things difficult for people who wronged me on her own(probably a lot more I don’t know about). Mother Lilith is extremely supportive and will be there when needed, but she will not coddle you. She will not baby you. I see a lot of practitioners say “ she wont hold your hand” that’s true in a sense. Yes there are things you need to face alone, but a mother wont deny holding your hand if needed, she just wont do things for you. She will empower you to do things with independence. Lilith is definitely the kind of mentor to give you a rude wake up call when you’re not acting like yourself or doing things that wont benefit yourself or others. She is not afraid to be mean and wicked with you if need be.
Lilith’s energy generally feels airy and fiery. She carries herself regally and a sense of pride. Like i’ve mentioned, she doesn’t necessarily tie herself to one element, I’ve felt energy of all elements come from her, I assume this comes from her shapeshifting nature.
Sources and links
My own personal experience and UPG
Lilith Queen of the Night
Lilith and Witchcraft
Lilith: The Demonic Paradise Wiki
Lilith ( Occult world entry)
Tumblr users entry on Queen Lilith (i’ve honestly had a rocky history with the author of this post, I hadn’t realized who this was until after I recorded the information, but I still am going to give them credit where it’s due because it’s only right and their post gives solid information)
https://occult-world.com/lilith/
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syb-ill-ah · 7 months
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Hey, a Viktor simp from Czechia here.
First of all, thank you to everyone who writes Viktor fanfics, I appreciate your humanitarian work.
More words of praise to EVERYONE who acknowledges Viktor's Czech accent and uses Czech words in their works. Love you! 💕 (I feel seen. 🥺🥺🥺)
To make your hard work easier, I've decided to create a brief "vocabulary" of words you might find useful:
- I've seen this used a lot: miláček. It's a softened term of endearment, meaning "my love(lie)". Czech is an inflectional language so if you would like to be extra, you can use it in the form "miláčku" which is a vocative form used to address someone. But it's not necessary.
- zlato/zlatíčko - zlato means gold, zlatíčko is a softened form and both are used in the same context as "dear" or "sweetheart"
- láska = love, vocative form is "lásko"
- mazel/mazlíček = there are two respective meanings. The first is "a pet", the second is "someone who likes to cuddle". (One of my favourite words btw.)
- drahá/drahý = dear or precious. BUT! Here it gets a bit confusing and inconvenient. You see, Czech is a gendered language (very shitty for non-binary people let me tell) which means drahá is used when referring to a female person, drahý referring to a male person. The natural form is "drahé" but... it's a controversy. (I'd personally use a different word.)
- milý/milá - used as dear or you can say má milá (girlfriend) or můj milý (boyfriend), same issue - milý is male, milá is female.
- nejmilovanější - a long word, yes, but a very simplified rule - the longer the word is, the more endearing it gets. :D This one means "dearest" but with extra steps. Plus it's gender neutral. :)
- nejdražší = the most precious
- štěňátko = a puppy
- koťátko = a kitten
- mé světlo = my light
- šroubeček = a very soft version of both "a screw" and "a bolt" and it's extremely cringe to say in Czech but it's so damn Viktor-coded :D (Vocative = šroubečku)
Since I've noticed some of y'all are also using the notion of Viktor sometimes swearing in Czech (which I support because I'm 100% sure he switches languages when he's worked up), here are some, sorted from the "okayish" to "the rudest shit you can get":
- proboha = my god
- hovadina/blbost = a stupid thing (to do, say)
- ježiš = jesus
- sakra = damn
- blbec = a stupid person, blbeček = a stupid person but you are nice about it
- ty vole = heavier damn
- kurva = the same as the Polish one :D, "Co to kurva je?" = What the fuck is this?
- zkurvený = fucking
- svině = swine
- sráč = fucker
- do prdele = fuck
- nasrat (na to) = fuck (it)
- jebat (na to) = fuck (it)
- mrdat (na to) = fuck (it)
- do piči! = FUCK (like a very mean fuck, you say this when you are like extra angy)
My DMs are open to anyone who needs some advice regarding this or anything Czech language related. I'm happy to help!
Keep writing, friends! 💕
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sgiandubh · 9 months
Note
This what I mean 👇🏻
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/3518505943900484/
Dear (returning) Bitchy Anon,
I wrote this answer yesterday, but I am posting it today, because I did not want to give you any satisfaction. Your coming back in here proves there is not an ounce of humanity left in you: just a #silly obsession for an actress who does not even know or care you exist. I promise you she doesn't. Confidently so.
But then, onwards to your 'evidence'.
You thought you would give me the creeps on Christmas Day with a controversial picture allegedly taken at the Weinstein (yes, that Weinstein!) and Netflix Golden Globes afterparty, on January 8, 2017?
No, seriously now: you actually did?
Crikey. As we say in Romanian (and yes, it is very rude, but also dementedly funny): mi se umple fundul de lacrimi/my arse is in tears. Perhaps the equivalent of I don't give a flying fuck, btw.
If you did read me before posting your laughable shite, and I think you did, you should know by now how I usually work, at least for those things I choose to make public (the rest is none of your business, I am afraid). You found this pic on Pinterest, originating from a Tumblr blog: @clairebeauchampfan. Since this person started blogging one year later than the moment this picture was taken, she probably found it chez Contemplating Outlander. You know, that pseudo-social scientist-cum-shrink, who thinks people are machines and adds a shitload of footnotes to her rantings, because she truly believes it makes her biased crap more credible (it doesn't, and this comes from an academic researcher: it is legit pathetic). So Claire Beauchamp Fan shared it and forgive me, but I did not bother finding her post, I just looked for her source (*urv's fetish):
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This took me to CO's really nasty blog and you could have spared me that ordeal, Anon: it's literally akin to severe constipation. And then, onwards to Instagram:
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A further search revealed she was wearing a Romanian designer (Maria Lucia Hohan) dress and Amrapali earrings. And then, I read the comments on that Insta post. Maybe you'd read them too, they are enlightening - for someone who's 'been around since 2015', people are rather confused about his real status in her life, don't you think?
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But Internet is really forever, no matter how you try to hide your trash, Anon. Here is a copy of O'Callaghan's post which was, indeed, deleted: maybe *urv was too insistent? It wouldn't surprise me:
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She should have won the Golden Globe in 2017, that's true. And it was S, not McIdiot, the one who told the Internet she should have won all those prizes, if memory serves. How odd McIdiot is never mentioned in that particular post (y'all would have paraded it for YEARS, if it were so) - but household staff, no matter how promoted, never really is. And before you screech, tell all the damn truth Anon, and put this pic in its right context:
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How odd the 'successful music producer and entrepreneur' (he is not successful, nor a music producer and much less an entrepreneur) was not tagged, by someone who is active in the industry, who clearly knows C and who attended that Golden Globes gala!
Just a last word on that pic. C was obviously smiling and talking animatedly with O'Callaghan and then McIdiot (who looks malnourished - but hey, humble beginnings, eh?) got dragged in the middle, for the convenient pic. I sometimes wonder what kind of social life you people have and sadly, I have to say - next to 0, for some of you. I never fuck the dozens of men with whom I do have similar 'just because' pics, interrupting my conversation in the middle of an event.
Also, check this very warm & fuzzy pic with one prominent member of her own, personal and very, very gay Circle of Trust. Because I am sorry, but what straight man wears lipstick, as McIdiot clearly does (and no, it's not because they were smooching in the lavatories, what are you, 14?):
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She looks happy, doesn't she?
I mean: really, honey. Get a Real Life and stop trying to persuade me with ye olde Pinterest pics you clearly are completely clueless about, ok?
And before you open your mouth to vomit CO's trash again, please carefully do your homework about McIdiot. But as carefully as I did. Then you can talk, share your interesting findings. Merry Christmas and....
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thenightfolknetwork · 2 months
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I need help. I am a changeling. At least, I think I am. For my own sake, I hope I am.
You see, I’ve been changing my face for years. Pretending to be someone else because I know that our kind aren’t always accepted. But now, I feel a bit lost. I have prosopagnosia. Face blindness.
This isn’t actually as big of a problem as it may seem, because usually the moment I do see a face, I can make a perfect one in response. I’ll look like whatever they want me to. And that’s fine, I suppose. For the most part.
But the problem is, I’ve forgotten my own face. I used to be able to remember it well enough, I think. But now I can’t seem to recall it at all. And it’s been getting worse. Even my voice can’t seem to return to normal, if there even was a normal to begin with.
I’m scared now. My face and voice are my own, but at the same time, I’m acutely aware that they aren’t. They are attached to my body, if that’s any indication of self. But the person I see in the mirror is not me. Sometimes it looks nothing like me. I worry that my thoughts are starting to become something else entirely.
If I can’t remember the voice in my throat, how can I trust the voice in my head? The hands writing these words?
My friend confronted me the other day. Called me a fake, an evil thing. And of course, I became one, without even thinking. I hurt them. I didn’t mean to.
I can’t trust my head, my face, my past. What if I’ve always been this evil thing? What if I never was a true changeling, just a fake, desperate to change my face? How do I figure out what I am, when I don’t remember who I used to be? How can I hope to find my true form again, when every time I look in the mirror, I see the monster that I am?
Oh, my dear reader. You poor thing. This sounds horribly frightening, and I am so glad you've been able to reach out and ask for help.
I don't believe for one moment that you are “an evil thing”. I also don't believe that the person who called you that is any kind of friend to you.
You are experiencing profound and distressing disruptions to your sense of identity – you need to be treated with care and kindness, not accusations. What's more, you deserve that kindness. You deserve to be helped.
Before I go on, it would be remiss of me not to address the issue of language and terminology here, though more for our other readers than for you in particular. I will not waste too much time on the matter.
It will suffice to acknowledge that while terms like “evil” and “monster” have be reclaimed by some in our community – and enthusiastically so, at that – they are far from universally accepted. It's clear from your letter that you do not view these words or concepts as liberating or radical.
I urge the rest of our audience to please respect that difference of opinion, and to remember that what one member of our community chooses to call themselves need not reflect on how others use those words. I will have very little patience for anyone wading into my inbox to complain that the language here is somehow “malevolent phobic”.
Now, back to the matter at hand. I am reminded of a letter I answered some years back from a listener wrestling with ideas of identity around somatic instability. In their case, they were concerned about whether or not they could ever be said to know their friend's “real” self, when that friend transformed regularly in different contexts.
The circumstances between you and that person are considerably different, of course. But I believe the same philosophy that helped their might help you, too.
You were once one person, and have since grown and changed and become someone new. It is a statement that applies to every person who has ever lived. Please, try to let go of this unreasonable expectation of constancy.
As much as you can, I want you to unlearn this narrative of a single, static “self”. There is no unyielding kernel at your centre which defines all that you are, and as such, there is no way for you to somehow deviate from who you “really” are. You cannot help but be yourself – there is nobody else you can possibly be.
(At least, assuming you have ruled out the possibility of surreptitious cohabitation. If you suspect you may, in fact, be possessed or otherwise inhabited, please pursue that course of enquiry before continuing any further.)
Uncontrolled shifting is a well documented, if poorly understood, phenomenon, either as genetic trait, the result of a curse or divine punishment, or as a stress response. Speaking to people in similar circumstances, whether online or in person, will hopefully help you feel less alone – and less “monstrous”.
Finally, I strongly encourage you to seek out professional support to treat the underlying issues at play. You have become so used to habitually shifting your identity to meet other people's expectations, you find it almost impossible to resist doing so – even when the results are unpleasant for you and for others.
That isn't an issue with your body, reader. It's an issue with your self-esteem, and your compulsive desire to minimise your own wishes to make way for others. It will be a long and difficult road to unlearn those habits and to accept yourself as you are. But I truly believe you can find a way to live authentically from moment to moment, even as time carries you unerringly away from the person you were, and onwards, to the person you're becoming.
[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]
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