#which probably leads me to make statements that have people thinking I want certain elements in ANY redo

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

So, controversial topic. taking in count that in a month, the webcomic "scarlet lady" is gonna end ¿what are your feelings about it?

I know that there's people out there that don't like it for the chloe salt, but i have to admit that the damnation that chloe went through, at least for me, gave her more agency than canon, for the fact that it wasn't manipulated by outside forces like canon did, it gave her the right to choose to be better or worse.

Another great element is that it does what canon refused to do: five back Adrian his agency by letting him vent his frustrations AND let him realize that his father is a bastard.

If you don't agree, that's more than excellent, i want to know your take in this topic, that being positive or negative 😄👍

My friend, you are talking to a big Scarlet Lady fan, so I'm happy to give my thoughts! Get ready for some gushing and in-depth discussion of the adaptation process. That's really what all fanfiction is, but Scarlet Lady is more of an adaptation than most since it's a true canon rewrite that often requires you to know canon to fully appreciate its jokes and meta commentary.

Before we get into it, I want to give a link to the comic for those who haven't read it. The artist/writer is @zoe-oneesama and this is page one of the comic. I'd follow the comic link if you haven't read it as the comic is nearing its end, so going straight to Zoe's page will spoil you on elements of ending.

General Thoughts on Adaptation

Adaptation is an art, not a science. There are things that are objective elements of a story. Things you really cannot change if you want people to feel like you're telling an adaptation of a given tale. But there are also plenty of elements that are more subjective. Things some people might consider vital, but that aren't truly necessary to stay true to the story's core. (Yes, the character core thing applies to stories too!)

For example, to be a Cinderella adaptation, you need to have some sort of big reveal moment where "the prince" finds Cinderella, but that moment doesn't need to involve a slipper and the prince doesn't need to be an actual prince. My favorite modern Cinderella adaptation is A Cinderella Story: Once Upon a Song and it twists both of those elements while keeping the major story beats in place, making it fully deserving of the Cinderella label while also being its own unique story that isn't a straight retelling, it's an adaptation.

I bring all this up because, as readers of this blog may have already guessed, Scarlet Lady does a lot of things that I personally would not do when adapting Miraculous. A big one being that I prefer a more complex take on Gabriel, but that's simply a matter of preference. A complex Gabriel is not a requirement for adapting Miraculous. Complex Gabriel vs comedic villain Gabriel is just a choice you have to make when it comes to adapting canon because canon is such a mess that both options have straight up backing in the source text. Even if they didn't, Gabriel's core role - villain - is one that leaves you a lot of room for interpretation based on other factors that we'll talk about in a second.

I'll close off this section with this: having read all of Scarlet Lady, I'll be so bold as to say that Zoe and I almost perfectly align when it comes to identifying the flaws in Miraculous because I've agreed with pretty much every change she's made. She did a fantastic job staying true to the core of canon while also telling the story she wanted to tell. It's not the way I'd redo canon, but it doesn't need to be for me to call it a fantastic story. Plus a lot of the different choices I'd make come down to narrative style and tone.

Narrative Style and Tone

I'm a novelist at heart, which means that I favor serialized storytelling. For those who don't know that word, it means stories that are one coherent whole just broken into chunks. Stories where the order matters. You can't start watching at a random episode, you have to start at the beginning. And skipping an episode usually means that you'll have no idea what's going on.

Miraculous is not a serialized show. It's primarily an episodic show, a word that means that episode order doesn't matter. Every installment stands alone.

Obviously Miraculous isn't completely episodic, but that's fine. Purely episodic narratives are rare these days. Most stories have at least minor serialized elements even if those elements are often ignored for multiple episodes at a time. This is where both Miraculous and Scarlet Lady fall. They're mostly episodic stories with serialized elements popping up every now and then.

Miraculous does this element poorly because it acts like it's a purely episodic show and then takes that to an absurd extreme. Rules, characters, and lore can never be counted on to stay the same from episode to episode even though that's not actually how episodic stories work. Scarlet Lady doesn't make this mistake. It understands that episodic narratives should have STORIES that stand alone, but that the WORLD the stories take place in must stay consistent.

Now that we've gone over the basic format stuff, let's talk about tone.

Generally speaking, tone is the vibe of your story. It can be serious, silly, dramatic, and so on. One of Miraculous' biggest flaws is that its tone is all over the place. It's a silly romcom that brings in serious topics in serious ways and then handles them with all the grace of a hippo performing ballet in a china shop because of course it does! Those topics are horribly suited to the show's overall tone so it has no way to properly address them.

This is one of the many things I love about Scarlet Lady. It takes the show's absurdist tone and honors it. That's why Zoe's version of Gabriel works so well! He's a silly cartoony villain in a silly cartoony comic as he should be. It's also why my versions of Gabriel tend to be more complex. More serious serialized narratives are where more serious complex villains thrive. Neither option is better than the other, it all comes down to how you're adapting the original work. Zoe's choices are perfect for her version's style and tone. If mine are even close to that good for my preferred style and tone, then I'll be a happy author.

Narrative Weight & The Chloe Thing

This is getting long, so I'll end with a note on Chloe since you brought her up as it's another great example of the fact that there are very few choices that are inherently right or wrong when it comes to adaptation.

I don't know if I'd say that I'm a Chloe fan, but I certainly don't hate her. I also love what Zoe did with the character! It's a prime example of a thing that I've talked about before: the issue with Chloe is not a lack of redemption. The issue is that Chloe was given too much narrative weight to be what canon made her.

Quick definition: narrative weight is the importance a narrative places on a person, event, thing, etc. The more time you dedicate to an element of your narrative, the more weight that element has in the eyes of your audience. The more they expect the element to matter. The way that you develop the element will also shape audience expectations.

In the context of canon, Chloe has more development than almost any other side character. We know more about her family, her childhood, her personality, and so on. This was an absurd choice for canon to make because Chloe is not actually important to the story they told. You could pull her out of canon and almost nothing would change. Gabriel can make akumas do whatever he wants so, lore wise, he didn't need Miracle Queen. In fact, he arguably shouldn't have made Miracle Queen. He could have just taken the miracle box and jumped right into the plot of season five. Similarly, Chloe being mayor was an absurd one-note moment that's easily replaced with something more logical.

Because of this, there are a lot of things you can do when adapting Chloe. Everything from turning her back into a one-dimensional mean girl to redeeming her to what Zoe did: take Chloe's narrative weight and petty brat behavior and lean into both to make Chloe a main antagonist while also acknowledging the fact that Chloe is a messed up teenage girl who needs some serious help. I'm super excited to see the end of Chloe's arc in Scarlet Lady as I think it's going to be one of my favorites in the fandom. That is admittedly not a high bar as I'm very picky when it comes to Chloe content. I think most of it falls flat because most of it fails to let Chloe hit some sort of rock bottom when she absolutely needs to if you want to do anything interesting with her. She's not the kind of person who will easily change or see the error of her ways.

Conclusion

Scarlet Lady is a fantastic adaption of Miraculous and Zoe is a fantastic and funny adapter. The comic might not be to your tastes - and that's fine, nothing has universal appeal - but it's still a great example of how to honor source material while doing your own thing with it, which is a true skill. One of the problems with many modern retellings and reboots is that the people running the show don't understand how to adapt a narrative. They take far too much creative freedom and end up with something that doesn't feel anything like the source.

If I found out that Zoe somehow got hired to adapt something I love, then I wouldn't have any concerns. I'd have no idea what she'd do with it, but I'd be confident that it wouldn't spit in the face of the thing I love. I'd personally read a hundred Miraculous re-imaginings with her at the helm.

[perpetual-fool]

   I had a moment. I was idly watching this thing on programming (the specifics well outside my skillset). They omitted an 'else' statement, which simply wasn't necessary (in that language?). And suddenly that 'made sense', as a cascade of instructions. The computer doesn't need to be told where to go, it just rolls on to the next thing. And making that connection made me feel good, a little bit, briefly.

   And I was thinking, natural objects don't frustrate me or make me feel bad. Like, a rock just is a rock, nothing invalidating about a thing being itself. But an artificial object, designed and created, can. Those come with the implication that doing it that way is good. Say with a brick, a rectangular block is the simplest way to make a stackable brick. And a block with holes in it is the same thing but lighter and uses less material. But say there was a brick made from a different type of sand, which was essentially the same thing but heavier and more expensive. And this alt-brick was made with holes in it. So it has some features making it heavy and expensive and other features making it cheap and light.

   That case is simple enough that I could imagine a justification, like "people want to flaunt their wealth with the expensive thing, but they don't want to pay for it, so they're using something that only *looks* like the expensive thing". But it's the total lack of.. perspective? that I don't understand. Like, I have these stainless steel cups I like, double-walled but not fragile like the glass ones. And they're polished on the outside, making them slippery to hold, but rough on the inside, making them harder to clean. And I get that they're probably just making the part that people see pretty and leaving the rest of it rough. But they could've just not polished *all* of the outside, so it's still pretty, but not harder to hold and maybe a bit cheaper. It's as if they deliberately thought it out like: "so obviously there's a win-win solution here, but we're gonna go with the thing that's worse for both of us". Now I'm not assuming that's what happened, 'cause that doesn't make any sense. But that makes more sense than having not thought through the issue, as if they just cast lots to make design decisions. It's incredibly frustrating not being able to make any sense of it. (Aside, apparently there's one instance where's that essentially what happened. Terraria seems to have contradictory elements, and one of the devs has suggested that the whole game is an amalgamation of random ideas.)

   When people directly get involved it's overwhelmingly.. violating? (The stuff people have done to me aside; I've gone over that before.) When people just say the thing that doesn't make sense, the issue is no longer that I can't figure it out, it's that I must just be wrong. Like someone might say "this is how [thing] works", and not only is that not how [thing] works, there's no way to misunderstand [thing] such that you'd arrive at that conclusion. There is a trend in that it's mostly the results that make things not make sense. I've toyed with the idea that maybe other people just have very little ability to think things through. Sort of like if they only had half a picture, and assumed that the rest of the picture continued in the same way. As if they hypothesis about how [thing] works, see that it's plausible, and are therefore absolutely certain. And the idea of looking at the result doesn't even cross their mind. That doesn't really make sense either, as there's no way for them to have come to those assumptions. Like, there's no way to determine if something might lead to a result if you have no concept of what leads to the result.

   What was my point again? The thing with 'making sense' of code feels like it's the same thing with people, and everything else. What would really bring me joy is a eureka moment that suddenly made sense of everything.

-    But mostly I'm getting the inverse of that, things don't work already and new information confuses everything. I'm inclined to think my framing must just be wrong. But judging by some other experiences, I am much, much better at framing than most other people. I'm certainly better at it than the people I'm trying to understand. I should not be this lost. This doesn't make any fucking sense. I'd say it's as if others' behavior is specifically intended to drive me insane, but it's not consistent enough for that either.

   Tangent: there's someone I've talked to that has repeatedly dictated that I ignore trends, "missing the forest for the trees". But everything just points in the "I'm stupid and evil and I should kill myself" direction. including that. All the people I've reached out to have had more than ample opportunity to help, if they were ever going to do that. Maybe I should just accept that others want me to suffer and die. Or at least, they want to destroy me, replace me with something else. There's no reason for the dictations otherwise.

[solaeter]

can i request any soft casual date headcanons for choso or noritoshi or geto? -akatsukimommy

Soft, Casual Date | Headcanons 

Note: tysm for being my first request! .+:｡(ﾉ･ω･)ﾉﾞ I hope I did these justice, headcanons and I don’t get along because I over think and..it’s a process lmao. I also chose to do all three because I can’t pick between them |ω･)و ̑̑༉

Word Count: 1838

Characters: Choso, Noritoshi Kamo and Suguru Geto

Warning[s]: None aside from possible errors I didn’t bother to check for. 

Request Status: OPEN

↠ There’d be lots of communication, mostly coming from you as the two of you venture about. From shops, food and to culture, you educate Choso while he just is so lost in you. He’s like a puppy, completely in love and hanging onto every word. From how he looks at you, you’d question if he was actually listening. 

↠ A soft casual date with Choso would probably be showing him around Tokyo. This boy will be glued to your side, arms linked together or he’d hold your hand. Regardless, he’s not letting you out of his sight. 

“Did I lose you?” You worried you were babbling on too much and Choso shakes his head. He can’t help himself and admire you, how you knew so much and the level of patience you had for him made his chest tighten. 

“No, continue please.” So polite he is, taking your hand once again as you smile before going into another explanation that leads into a particularly embarrassing story of a past experience. But Choso doesn’t laugh, he is humored, don’t get him wrong, but he pulls you to his side and offers a small bit of comfort. So precious (´•ω•̥`)

↠ After walking around for what feels like forever, you’d drag Choso to a cute little cafe for a chance to sit down and enjoy a snack or drink. 

↠ Choso might feel a little out of his element but having you there is all he needs. So don’t mind him he wears a little frown or looks around curiously. Normal customs are beyond the poor boy though he is quick to catch onto things.

↠ For example, Choso may not like anything in his coffee. So when you look at him with a crinkled nose and a small smile, he’d tilt his head.

“What?”

“Black coffee? I could never.” You stick your tongue in a playfully disgusted manner and if Choso wasn’t in love then, he certainly fell more. You were so cute, innocent and he can’t seem to handle the emotions that swarm him.

↠ Choso.exe has stopped working. 

↠ After the pit stop, the little date would end with Choso seeing you home. He had things to attend to so staying wasn’t a choice unfortunately, but he makes sure to give you one hell of a hug. There’s so much love and he will cherish every moment with you, his actions prove this statement.

↠ Especially when he doesn’t let go immediately, keeping you there and mumbling a goodnight in your ear. It’d have your heart hammering in your chest and if he kisses you, or you to him, you’d both probably be flustered messes.

↠ But that’s alright cause neither one of you will forget the feeling and you’d be left at the door to your home, eyes soft and body warm with your phone in hand to plan the next time you get to see Choso.

↠ A soft casual date with Noritoshi would probably be an evening stroll through the park or sitting at home and enjoying one another's company. It’s not about what goes on, but rather the experience, atmosphere and feelings during that moment. Noritoshi is sentimental and it plays into a lot of things that he does. Especially when it comes to you.

↠ If you went for a walk with Noritoshi, just like with Choso, he’s keep you close. Except it might be a hand on the small of your back or loosely holding your hand. The contact is reassuring to him, it lets him know you’re okay even if there’s no danger in sight. 

↠ He also holds these little dates close to his heart considering he’s busy most of the time with sorcerer work and clan duties. So one the off days where he can see you, happiness and a sense of much needed calmness will radiate around him. And it’s obvious to you.

“You seem happy.” You point out while the two of you stand on a bridge overlooking a quiet stream illuminated by the setting sun. One might say the view is right out of a photo and you’d agree. Noritoshi laughs beside you, sounding so free from whatever shackles held him daily.

“Any time with you brings me much joy. It’s a breath of fresh air. Perhaps even an escape from reality.” He’d say so casually despite the sentence being cheesy as hell. You bite your lip and smile, ignoring the light blush dusting your cheeks. Smooth fucker, how dare he ୧(๑•̀ᗝ•́)૭

Instead of responding because you were lost for words like a fool, you’d hug Noritoshi’s side and enjoy the peaceful view. The contact was all the response he needed, he thrived off of it. 

↠ Noritoshi isn’t opposed to taking you to his home, but he enjoys spending time at yours for a change of scenery. His obligations and duties don’t follow him once inside your humble little abode.

↠ A date can be anything, or so you’ve reassured many times because let’s be honest, Noritoshi doesn’t have the slightest idea on dating. So when you offered to sit at home and ‘chill’, he was completely thrown left field the first time. Now it’s one of his favorite things.

↠ Noritoshi will melt if you let him lay his head on your lap so you can play with his hair. There’s something so, so relaxing about it that he just falls apart over a simple act of affection. Plus you love seeing his content face while you absentmindedly watch tv and chat quietly about the day's events. The domestic atmosphere has your head spinning and mind jumping to thoughts of marriage. You’d bat the thoughts away but you can’t and when you frown, Noritoshi is quick to notice. 

“You okay?” His soothing voice brings you out of your short lived fantasy and you look down at him, noticing the concern despite his eyes never opening. You nod quickly, flashing a reassuring smile.

“Of course! I was just thinking, nothing bad.” You wouldn’t dare admit to thinking about the future that isn’t even certain. Instead of pressing further, Noritoshi brings a hand up to rest along your cheek. His touch was warm and welcoming and you can’t help but nuzzle into the palm of his hand. 

↠ Lovesick fools you both are. 

↠ Noritoshi is attached to you and he knew he was in deep after the first date. Now every moment with you is engraved in his memory, his heart. No matter how simple or quiet or rambunctious, he doesn’t forget. He also makes mental notes to take you out somewhere nice the next time he gets free time. Until then, he relishes in the comfort you bring and the freedom he feels while spending time at your home.

↠ All in all, relaxing at home playing with Noritoshi’s hair after taking a nice walk sure beats going to the movies or staying out into the late hours of the night. You cherish the softness of his face as he lays on you and the way he lets himself be loose around you in private. Nothing can beat the little things. 

↠ A soft casual date with Geto would be getting him out of trouble probably going out to some unhealthy restaurant and eating your weight in a buffet. Why? Geto can eat and will definitely drag you along. Will also make comments like:

“You need to gain some weight [Name], don’t fear the food.” He’s tryna be nice, honestly especially if you are shy or being conservative. But you may or may not take offense to that. So just punch him to shut him up (๑و•̀ω•́)و.

↠ Will talk about anyone and anything. Geto definitely gossip to you about other people that pass by, making up random blurbs that are far fetched or downright dumb. He likes to keep the mood light and fun especially if he just came back from a mission and needed a change of pace. 

↠ Geto is polite in every sense of the way despite his little comments here and there. He holds doors open for you, keeps your hand locked in his and will often bring it up to kiss your knuckles just to wooo you. Only because he knows it works. Every time. 

↠ After dinner, Geto would take you to the top of some building to look at the sky. Why? It’s romantic in his opinion and secondly it’s nice to get away from the crowds and admire the sea of stars while in the presence of the one who so graciously tolerates him.

“You know,” He’d break the silence and look over at you, catching your attention, “I appreciate you for keeping me grounded.” Geto spoke from his heart, referring to the mixed feelings and lingering doubt that covered his heart. The only light that remained was the space you occupied. You blink and sit up on your elbow.

“Where’s this coming from?”

“I don’t know, I just wanted to say it.” He shrugs, flashing you a half smile before pulling you on him for a hug. The two of you would remain like this until lord knows when. Geto wanted to stay like this for as long as possible because soon he wouldn’t have you anymore. 

↠ Which brings us to the new Geto, the monkey hater. If you managed to stay with him through all the shit he did, good on you for being a certified simp! And if you were a non-sorcerer, you are the only ‘monkey’ he tolerates because he loves you so. This bastard will kill anyone for you, even if you’re out on a cute, casual date.

↠ Which would include him taking you out somewhere very nice, like way out of your normal budget. The man loves to impress, always has and always will. 

“Isn’t this a bit..much?” You question, looking at the array of silverware neatly arranged before you. Geto leans forward, his elbow on the table and chin now resting in the palm of his hand. He wore a sly smile, one that was far too relaxed for a cold hearted killer. 

“Not at all.” He reaches with his other hand and takes yours, brushing his thumb across your knuckles. You melt of course, he always managed to take you down, so effortlessly. “You deserve the best.”

“Even if I’m a monkey?” You raise an eyebrow. No one said you agreed with his ideals, but love kept you by his side. Geto laughs, clearly humored. 

“What can I say? I’m a hypocrite out of love.”

(╯°□°）╯︵ (\ . 0 .)\  

↠ As to where you go afterwards, that depends on you cause Geto will take you anywhere. Even though he’s different now, his opinion toward you and how he holds the relationship never changed. If anything, he loves you even more for looking past the monster he became and showing him the love he was scared to lose. 

[breathlessmorro]

*emerging from the depths of hiatus to get a sip of that destiNY* oo how about college AU shenanigans? i'm not good at prompts sorry >.<

You ask - you shall receive!

Synopsis - For years, Morro has been forced to put up with Kai's annoying antics in class, leaving him with a bad permanent record and even worse temper. However, things aren't exactly how they appear.

College Isn't Easy, They Said.

Morro grinded his teeth together as he fought to keep quiet, diligently taking his notes and trying to remember what his professor was saying. His handwriting may have been more harsh than it usually was, but at least he was managing to stay calm and collected. Already, he had half of Professor Chen's lecture condensed into clear and concise notes that could make a PowerPoint Presentation beam with pride. Not as easy a task as it might seem with the idiot next to him. 

Kai Smith - as always - had his earbuds in and was completely ignoring the lesson. Not that the earbuds did much to silence the irritatingly loud and obnoxious music blaring from the mini-speakers. In fact, Morro often wondered if Kai had such a big listening problem because of the volume in the first place. The aggressive tempo of drums and guitar were grating on Morro's nerves every single day, and he had to fight to keep his cool. He wasn't even sure why Kai was taking a psychology class in the first place when his major wasn't even related to it. It seemed Kai's presence served no purpose other than to annoy; and annoy it did. 

Things had been like this for years now. Morro would find out he had a class with Kai, and of course was forced to sit next to him. Showing even an ounce of distaste meant that Kai would take it as an invitation to try and distract Morro in any way possible. Whether it be tapping a pencil, playing footsie, or like now, listening to deafening metal music that he didn't even like, Kai was determined to get Morro in trouble. He took every single opportunity to try and make him look bad. The amount of times where he succeeded didn't matter, only that Morro's hatred for the smug grin that followed worsened with every passing day. 

This year, Morro had sworn it wasn't going to happen. Freshmen in college did not shout at their classmates in the middle of a lecture, and Morro couldn't afford to look bad in front of the faculty here. Not while his father was the dean of the university. 

So once again, he gathered his steely resolve, and brought his attention back to Chen's lecture about Elemental Envy, a condition where a person became obsessed with elemental powers to the point of violence. An ironic subject for him to teach about, Morro had once thought. Though any logical thinking had left him once he'd seen Kai make a beeline for him that morning. It had of course returned with the lecture regarding jealousy over a certain elemental ability leading some to aggression. 

Sensing that Morro was gaining some moral high ground, Kai decided that right then was an appropriate moment to lean over and whisper to him. 

"Sound like someone we know?" he snickered, causing Morro to shoot a nasty glare at him before turning back to his notes.

Clearly unsatisfied with the reaction, he tried again. 

"C'mon, that was funny." Morro didn't think it was. "Lighten up."

Morro felt his eyebrow twitch. He was fairly certain that meant he was stressed. 

He counted the seconds of sweet and glorious silence before he could hear Kai scoot closer again. Without the earbud in his ear, the music was slightly louder than before. Not that it was catching Chen's attention yet of course. 

He made it five seconds even. "Think there's some kind of green ninja envy?"

Oh. Low blow. 

"You're one to talk," Morro hissed at him, keeping his eyes firmly on his notes. It wasn't lashing out if it was just one statement, he reasoned with himself. "You were obsessed at one point too."

He quickly cursed himself for humoring Kai's jab once he saw the beaming grin across his face. On a good day, that kind of comment would have ticked Kai off to where he would be the one to cause a disturbance, but it seemed Kai came to class armed with patience today. A rare feat. Morro vaguely considered congratulating him. 

Shrugging nonchalantly, Kai leaned back in his seat. "At least I didn't bully my own cousin." Of course, this argument again. 

"Can't you leave it alone?" Morro bit back, glancing in Kai's direction before looking back to his notes. "That was in high school. I don't even-"

"What was that, Morro?" Ah shit. "Do you have something you want to share?"

Chen's high-pitched voice was tolerable when it wasn't directed at anyone specific, but the way Chen's said someone's name made it a thousand times more irritating. Seriously, did he just hate his students or something? Why even become a professor? 

Meeting his eyes, Morro shook his head, leaning back into his seat. "No, sorry," he answered. "Just thinking out loud."

Chen raised a brow at the excuse. Clearly he hadn't bought it. Especially not when Kai had already scooted back into his own seat, pretending to be writing his own notes. 

What a guy. 

"Well keep the thinking to a minimum. Others would like peace and quiet."

No fucking shit, Morro thought to himself as he nodded. One Chen's back was turned, he glared at Kai again, before looking to see how many notes he'd missed. 

Seriously, this couldn't be allowed to go on much longer. Morro had to change classes. 

***

"Seriously?! There's no other -"

"If you want to stay in psychology, that is the only available class."

"But he's -"

"In the same study program as you are."

"Ugh!" Morro slumped in his seat, covering his face with his hands. He'd thought complaining to Wu would be enough to convince him to get out of the class, but apparently none of Chen's other periods had room for another elemental master. The Elemental Study Program was created for elemental masters across Ninjago who wished to learn more about their abilities. It offered an advanced learning course for those enlisted, and also kept them in classes together. Which meant there was also a limit on how many were placed in a class to, "keep other students safe." As if they were a threat. The program had become a lot less separate from other students once When had taken over, but there was still a lot to be improved on. 

Wu gave Morro a sympathetic look before clearing his throat. "I understand why you have your reservations about Kai, but surely he's not distracting you too much." Morro pulled his hands away from his eyes to see Wu typing something on his computer. Leaning over the desk to see what it was, he narrowed his brows when he noticed his grade book being pulled up on the monitor. "Your grades are as excellent as ever."

Morro huffed as he sat back in his seat, crossing his arms and blowing a strand of hair from his face. "My permanent record isn't," he grumbled. "Any shot I have at a future job could be completely erased once people hear about how, 'disruptive,' and, 'disrespectful,' I am in a formal setting. You don't understand how frustrating it is to have a professor automatically hate you when you haven't even done anything wrong yet."

"You're right, I don't." Wu set his elbows down on the desk, resting his chin on his hands and gazing over Morro thoughtfully. "But have you ever considered asking Kai why he likes to antagonize you?"

"I think it's obvious," Morro scoffed. He averted his eyes from Wu and uncrossed his arms, swallowing hard when he spoke again. "It's because of how I treated Lloyd in high school. I know it wasn't right, but I stopped, didn't I? And I apologized. But Kai just wants to get me in trouble."

Wu hummed, a consideration sound before setting his hands down. "Well if Lloyd has already forgiven, why would Kai continue to seek you out?"

"I don't know, probably because he hates me?"

"Now don't jump to conclusions," Wu chuckled, shaking his fondly at Morro's pout. "How about you ask him yourself? I know your next class isn't for a few hours. Surely you could track him down and confront him."

Morro thought it over. Sure, confronting Kai would give Morro the chance he needed to speak his mind without reprimand, but it could also mean making things worse between them. Morro's relationship with Lloyd was rocky enough as it was, and that was mostly because of how he and Kai were always at each other's throats. He didn't need to make it worse. Then again, he could also find a way to get Kai to stop for good, and his permanent record could have a chance to recover. 

He groaned, dropping his head against the back of the chair before meeting Wu's gaze again. "Fine," he sighed. "I'll try to talk to him. But," he narrowed his eyes at Wu and pointed at him, "don't think it's gonna magically fix things. He's stubborn and an ass."

"That's two things you have in common already." Wu smiled at him. "Now go on, shoo. I have some papers to file and unless you want to help me-"

Morro was already out the door. 

***

He found Kai sitting with two other students in the courtyard, their elements on display for all to see. At first, he wasn't sure who the other two were, before recognizing them as Jay and Nya. Morro didn't talk to Nya that much, but he was all too familiar with his cousin, Jay. Their delightful family reunion hadn't been that delightful, and so they barely spoke to each other. 

Taking a deep breath in through his nose, Morro gathered the remnants of his courage and patience before stepping towards them. He stopped right behind Kai, and cleared his throat to get his attention. 

Kai turned around with a gleeful expression, which quickly morphed into something more smug. "What's up, breezy?"

Morro rolled his eyes, and caught Nya doing the same before he opened his mouth. "Hi. Jay, Nya, can I borrow him for a moment?"

"I dunno," Jay squinted at him. "You gonna bring him back?"

"Only if I want to."

"Ha!" Kai grinned at him, extinguishing the small flame in his hand. "Like you're gonna get the chance. Be back in a sec, guys."

Brushing off his pants, he rose to his feet, meeting Morro's gaze. As always, Kai met his stare with defiance and smugness. Morro hated it, but he had to get this over with sooner or later. His reputation seriously depended on it. His sanity too. Morro gestured for Kai to follow him, and started walking away from the crowded campus grounds. 

"So what's so urgent you just had to pull me away from my friends, huh?" Kai asked as they made their way through the crowd of students. Morro's brow quirked upwards at the laid back question, as if Kai really had no idea why Morro would want to talk to him. 

Exhaling through his nose, Morro rolled his eyes. "What do you think, Kai?" he scoffed at him. "I need you to stop annoying me during class. It's distracting and I can't afford that."

Morro winced as Kai barked out a laugh. "Seriously dude?" The latter shook his head, his entire body shaking with uncontained amusement. "That's it? I thought it was something important, like Wu needed my help with something."

"If he needed your help, why wouldn't he just tell you himself?"

"I don't know," Kai shrugged. "I don't understand anything he does, honestly."

Morro glanced over his shoulder to give Kai a dirty look. "So you think he'd just ask me, when he knows I literally hate everything about you, to tell you about some important mission?"

Again, Kai's shoulders shrugged. "Wouldn't be the weirdest - wait." Kai stopped walking, prompting Morro to stop as well. He turned around, fully prepared to snap at Kai for stopping when he caught his expression. "You hate me?"

Kai's normally mischievous and vibrant brown eyes were suddenly clouded with - well, Morro didn't know what. His smug little grin was gone, and his shoulders had gone completely tense. Any biting comeback Morro could have come up with died on his tongue, and he hesitated before answering. 

"Well, I guess it's a pretty strong word for it, but I don't exactly like you." Morro shifted slightly, suddenly feeling uneasy. "All you do is annoy me and get in trouble. We're not friends, and we don't talk outside of classes or the program."

The uneasy feeling crawled up Morro's throat as Kai's shoulders fell, his eyes downcast and melancholy. "Right. Sorry about that." He rubbed at his arm awkwardly before walking again. "Is that what you wanted to talk about then?"

Taken aback by the sudden change in atmosphere, it took Morro a second before he too started moving. The crowd of students had decreased rapidly, leaving them alone at the edge of campus grounds. He considered Kai's words before answering them, careful not to set him off. 

"Kind of, I guess." He sighed, before shaking his head. "I just want you to stop, okay? I know you're only doing it because of how I used to treat Lloyd, but I'm not like that anymore. We made up and moved on." He met Kai's gaze firmly, ignoring the warning bells that were ringing in the back of his head once he saw the disappointment reflected back at him. "So why didn't you?"

Kai sputtered for a moment, shaking his head. "What? No, I - Okay, sure. That might have been how it started, but I thought that…" He trailed off, awkwardly scratching at the back of his neck and averting his eyes. "Once you apologized, I thought we were just fighting for fun. I didn't know you were still taking it personally."

"Personally?" Morro raised a brow at him. "How could I not? Every single day, it's always, 'remember when you did this?' and just constant jabs from you. What else could it have been?"

"I don't know, maybe - " Kai cut himself off before shaking his head. "No, forget it. I'm sorry, I should have been paying more attention. That's my fault."

"A little bit," Morro deadpanned. 

Kai winced at that, and Morro could tell that it had stung. Maybe he should have been more careful, but Kai was confusing him now, and he didn't like being confused. He stayed quiet as Kai stared into space for a moment, considering leaving when Kai spoke again. 

"Listen; after you and Lloyd made up, I realized I kind of like messing with you," he said softly, crossing his arms and refusing to meet Morro's eyes again. "I mean, you never just let me, so it kind of felt like a fun game. Everything I threw at you, you just matched super easily. I really liked messing with you, and I thought that…"

As Kai trailed off once again, Morro finally caught a glimpse of his face. A bright red blush spread from Kai's nose and cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears. His stance was awkward and nervous, shoulders tense and head down. At first, Morro thought that this was the beginning to a very good apology, but now it was starting to seem like something else entirely. 

Taking a deep breath in, Kai finally met Morro's eyes, with enough conviction in them to make the latter freeze in place. 

"I thought that you liked me too."

Oh. Oh. 

Thinking back to every conversation they'd ever had, yeah. It was easy for Morro to see how Kai had come to that conclusion. All those attempts at getting each other's attention, the games to test each other's patience until one of them snapped. Of course Kai liked him. That was how every guy acted around their crush. Morro couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it sooner. 

Guys were stupid. 

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Morro could see Kai staring at him almost nervously, like he was waiting for someone to shout at him. Clearing his throat, Morro opened his mouth. 

"I…" Very articulate. "Oh. I didn't think of it like that I guess," he shrugged, not really knowing how to respond. "I was so busy getting mad at you, I thought… Well, you know what I thought."

"Yeah," Kai sighed, shaking his head. "I do. I'm sorry, I should have - "

"Wait!" Morro couldn't let Kai finish, not with the way this conversation appeared to be heading. "I never once said that I was against it."

That took Kai by surprise, and it showed. His shoulders dropped, his eyes went wide, and he stared at Morro for a moment before shaking his head. "But you said you hated me!"

"I also said that was a really strong word."

"So you do like me?"

Morro held up his hands. "I didn't say that either," he said, a small smile sneaking its way into his expression. Knowing that Kai had actually been crushing on him this whole wasn't an entirely unpleasant thing, actually. Morro had eyes. He knew Kai was a real piece of work when he wasn't busy being annoying. "But… I don't think I'd be opposed to trying something new."

Kai's grin practically swallowed his face, and Morro could only imagine how sore it must have made his cheeks. "Alright, something new." He hesitantly stepped closer, the blush returning in full force. "I can work with that."

"Good." Morro stepped closer to him as well, before his smile turned serious. "But don't think you can get away with annoying me every day now. Being cute is only going to get you so fa - "

Kai cut him off, pressing his lips gently to Morro's before pulling away with a smile. 

"You talk too much."

Morro grinned, before pulling Kai back into another kiss. 

Yeah, he could work with this. 

[lover-of-queens]

Farah Dowling is Alive Part 2

The follow up to Part 1 or as I like to call it: look mom, I told you this degree would have uses in the real world! 

If you haven’t had a chance to read it yet, you can find Part 1: Here 

You know the drill, under the cut cause this is probably going to get long!

Episode 4: Some Wrecked Angel

Episode opens with our favourite trio. If you’ve read the first part then you’ll be familiar with my argument that it could be possible the writers are leaving Farah x Saul threads to pick up at a later date. I think this scene has some interesting ones. There’s a lot of effort in this scene to set Farah and Saul up as parallels - in a way that also makes them stand apart from Ben. We have them saying his name together, but also, when they discover Callum’s body, both Farah and Saul are in sync as they move into a kneeling position. 

I don’t necessarily know if this could be considered an argument for them bringing Farah back, however, in the scene with Farah, Stella and Luna, Stella brings up an interesting point about Farah’s pedagogy. We’re told that Farah chooses care and time over “solely results” when it comes to teaching. In the next episode we learn Rosalind’s own teaching style involves putting her students “through hell”. I don’t necessarily know when the change will happen but given this, I don’t see any way Rosalind can remain Headmistress, especially when they’re taking pains to show Farah as better suited for the role.

Also important in this scene is Farah and Luna’s last exchange. We know what appearances Luna has helped Farah maintain - the barrier/illusion that stops Aster Dell from being seen. So, what’s interesting is Farah’s next line:

Farah: “Yes, we’ve both done a great deal to preserve Solaria’s reputation.” 

This does not get addressed during the remaining episodes. Personally, this line and the amount of tension between Farah and Luna also strikes me as a potential thread that could be picked up later. I’m going to wager that I’m not alone in wanting to know what exactly they did to “preserve” Solaria’s rep. And my guess is, because Brian has mentioned that they’re going to expand on the winx world, we’re going to be finding out more about Solaria in S2. Theoretically, I suppose whatever event that is being referenced here could be dealt with without Farah on screen, but then we’d miss out on all the fun tension! Also, as of right now, fan response to Luna is nothing compared to Farah (at least from what I’ve seen). 

Tattoo theory, several people have already spoken on this and I don’t want to speak over them. I’m still sorting out my own thoughts on whether it’s Farah’s or Eve’s but I will say that Farah is always wearing rings so it seems to me that if they wanted it covered they could easily do it with a ring (or makeup). If the tattoo is purposely put there then I’m going to assume its for a reason that the writers may want to deal with at a later date (hint, hint: bring back Farah). 

Episode 5: Wither Into the Truth

I may do another post on this at some point if I can find enough to say to warrant it but Farah’s eye colour when she does magic. Up until now every time Farah’s done magic her eyes have glowed blue and yet in the scene where she questions Beatrix they glow light orange. Now I’d always assumed that the colour of the glow = element, which was why I didn’t know why Farah’s glowed blue to begin with; she’s a mind fairy so I would have expected the purple that Musa has. And actually the confirmation of her being a mind fairy comes from Fate’s IG page shown below, I don’t know if it’s ever explicitly stated in the show? Further, to my knowledge, Farah is the only fairy we’ve seen whose eyes glow different colours. So, a thread to pick up in season 2, perhaps? 

Also I’m very interested in the use of the word “Once”. In this instance I would almost take it to mean ‘no longer is’ but the tense is present perfect (I think?) which can suggest the continuance of an action. But now I’m being overly nitpicky and technical. Also I don’t know how ‘principle’ made it through what I’m assuming are several stages before making it onto IG, but it gave me a laugh!

“Incredibly powerful” yet loses to Rosalind without a fight? Not buying it. Additionally, the use of “other forms of magic” is interesting and I figure could be taken to mean other elements. But I wonder if there’s more to it than just that. Farah shows knowledge of archaic Fairy Magic with the Nettle Amalgam, so maybe there’s more archaic knowledge out there that she knows ... that could prove helpful. 

Now, back to the episode. When Farah and Hologram Luna are talking, the fact that there are two burned ones travelling together is cause for concern. 

Farah: “There are two of them travelling together. That hasn’t happened since … In a long time.” 

Once again we are left with a thread of something that has happened. In the same IG post as above, in the section for Saul, it mentions that he and Farah became confidants “after experiencing the Black Woods Massacre”. I wonder if that could be what Farah’s referring to here? I know the massacre has come up once or twice in conversation and correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t believe it’s ever been properly explained? To me, it looks like a great bit of backstory to get into at a later date. It may not confirm Farah being alive necessarily, but you could take it as a sign that we might see Eve again. 

Lastly, for this episode, is the scene between Farah and Bloom. Specifically this part: 

Farah: “I will help you get the answers you need. I give you my word.” 

You can probably guess what I’m going to say at this point, a thread that can be picked up in season 2! You could counterargue that Rosalind could help Bloom with answers (as she offers in the next episode) but in my humble opinion, I don’t think it would offer narrative satisfaction. First, because we’ve been shown what a terrible mentor Rosalind is. Second, they’ve spent the first season showing how Farah and Bloom’s mentor-student relationship has developed (bloomed?) so it seems a waste to go through all of that development for nothing. 

Episode 6: A Fanatic Heart

Rosalind has her little prison break. Personally, I still think there’s a lot of unanswered questions about what happened after Aster Dell, how they imprisoned Rosalind, etc. And I do hope that we get some answers in Season 2 - again these answers may not necessarily involve Farah on the screen but as every writer gets told the age old advice of “show, don’t tell”, I think there’s potential for that. 

Farah immediately tries to disprove my points about her intelligence by wandering alone in the woods at night. But she’s pretty, so I’ll allow it. 

Rosalind gives Bloom some answers but not all, so I do think that my point above about Farah helping Bloom find more answers still stands. Further, I find the Farah is Bloom’s mother theory to be unlikely for several reasons (this is not the post for them) but I do want to draw our attention to several lines of dialogue here. 

Bloom: “You hid me from Miss Dowling.” ….

Rosalind: “The guidance you needed was love. Farah couldn’t give that to you. Vanessa and Michael could.” 

There are SO many reasons why this exchange is fascinating. I’m interested in why Bloom brings up Farah to begin with - her other points could stand alone to the same affect. I’m also really interested in the direct comparison between Farah and Bloom’s adoptive parents -- if Bloom hadn’t gone to them, she would have gone to Farah? It almost seems as though the direct comparison implies that. Also, considering Bloom’s relationship with her adoptive parents, I really doubt the validity of the statement. Plus, I wouldn’t trust Rosalind’s idea of love in general. 

Also, Rosalind is just so certain that Farah couldn’t love Bloom … can’t love in general? There’s just so much of Farah and Rosalind’s relationship that hasn’t been explored that I think really needs to be. 

Now, the scene that always makes me cry! Farah and Bloom have had a difficult time this season and it’s all lead up to this moment of trust and vulnerability - on both sides. If you ask me, this season has been setting Farah up to be the mentor figure that Rosalind was not - Rosalind’s opposite. And they’ve worked hard at it, even when they were trying to convince us Farah might be the evil one which like lmao. I find it hard to believe that they would go through all of that work just to discard it by leaving Farah dead. Especially because what Farah admits to Bloom in this sequence feels like a changing moment for her - she recognizes things she wishes she would have done differently (being less of a figurehead, being more open) and I think its only fair that Fate allows her to follow through on those things. 

And onto the scene that I really don’t want to rewatch but I’m going to do it for y’all. I’ve touched on Farah x Saul moments so it’s only fair that I touch on Farah x Rosalind ones. There is tension here (looking at each other’s lips, Rosalind getting closer to Farah, Farah grabbing her), I mean the cast has joked about shipping them. But there are several different ways to read this and you are more than welcome to your pick! It doesn’t really change my point, which is … thread to pick up in season 2? Have you started taking a shot every time I’ve said that (please don’t <3). 

Farah who has shown herself to be incredibly intelligent and cautious when it comes to Rosalind turns her back on her. And we get what is probably the most important piece of evidence: the eye glow. It can mean absolutely anything, but I’d wager one of the reasons its there is to have people do exactly what I’m doing here. Theorizing about whether Farah could still be alive. I’m going to take that as a sign there’s hope (mainly because I think it would be cruel to suggest a ‘could she come back narrative’ and then … not have her come back). Also, in the Fate novel, it describes Farah’s death as “too easy”. I absolutely refuse to believe that it could be easy to kill Farah when she’s proved time and time again how powerful she is. 

That finishes my episode by episode analysis. It totals well over 2500 words. If you can believe me, I still have more to say on this topic (discussing general counterarguments and possible logistics of Eve’s filming), so stay tuned for a Part 3?

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Do you have any tips for people who are trying to discovery write for the first time? I really want to try it to see if it would work for me but it kinda intimidates me haha

The short answer would be to write through the discomfort and assess as you go if this process is right for you (because this so varies by writer). Discovery writing at its core suggests writing with minimal or no plan, so diving in headfirst can be a great way to break through the process.

Some practical tips are:

1. Start with a diving board

This can be an image, or a relationship, or a scenario or a first line that you write from. Photo prompts could be helpful for this (I like to browse Unsplash or another favourite stock photo site for this), or prompt generators.

My caution here is that it can get easy to over plan even these tiny tidbits. For example, though I’ve only ever been a Pantser, when I tried to pants my very first short story, I spent weeks coming up with a concept, characters, etc, basically brainstorming outline points. The reason this story went nowhere is a) of course because I’d never written short fiction before but b) because I was literally working AGAINST the process. Which is why it could be helpful to note that:

2. Discovery writing/pantsing intrinsically calls for spontaneity.

You don’t have as much of this when you write off an outline (which is why outlining works better for some - spontaneity is not needed). This is kind of where I get a little philosophical, and maybe a little controversial (and noting this is not a blanket statement). The process you write with may mirror the type of person you are/how you usually approach work and life. This is why I find it a little funny when people preach outlining is the only way to write a book?? Like ok I guess there is only one type of person in the world?? But I digress!

Because of its spontaneous nature, pantsing can be intimidating. I think acceptance of the process’ inclination toward spontaneity, though theoretical, might help! If you’re not someone who likes this/functions better through a different framework, discovery writing may not be the way to go.

3. Meet in the middle (plantsing)

If you’re super nervous to give it a go which is so understandable, I might recommend meeting in the middle with a plantsing method, so perhaps brainstorming the characters and conflict FIRST (and maybe even one plot point to bounce off of or lead up to). This might be particularly helpful if you come from a strong outlining background and could be a less jarring way to transition between processes.

4. You can still plan a little!

Kind of a spinoff of the above point: discovery writing to me doesn’t mean you have zero ideas going into a story, which may help misspell some of the intimidation. I made a video years ago on misconceptions of Pantsing that might be helpful which you can watch HERE. Re: plantsing above. I guess that’s why discovery writing is a better term than Pantsing - this process is less about flying by the seat of your pants (which makes the writer seem inactive but more about wading through a story one line at a time, interrogating many elements as you go: your character, their relationships, and their current scenario, all of which lead to some inevitability. It really is an excavation and if you feel you need to start with a few prepared tools rather than your bare hands, that’s the way to go!

My writing process for short fiction often looks impulsive, and it often is, where a story will come out of nowhere and voila it is on the page. However some stories need more time to marinate, and so I’ll naturally sort of outline them as they sit on the page/as I think about them. So you definitely don’t have to write out of nowhere if that’s intimidating.

5. Start brief

I imagine going from outlining a novel to Pantsing it can be kind of terrifying! But a flash fiction piece? Or short story? That’s a much smaller space you can experiment with. This way, the shorter piece can help you guide yourself through the story.

6. The differences of each process & how to collaborate with one or both

IMO, this is the difference between pantsing and outlining: pantsing = being the tourist, not necessarily certain where you’re going next (but still being an active participant in the tour) and outlining is being the tour guide.

Pantsing is great because you discover as you go, which is why trying to go in without overplanning is often helpful. When you think about it, outlining is the same process as pantsing except you discover before you write the book, so in essence, the processes are the exact same--outlining is just an additional step that gives you a tool to use while drafting. Looking at the processes in this way may help in sort of breaking them down and making them less scary to look at. I’m not sure I know many pantsers who write 50k word novels without ever thinking about what will happen, nor do I know outliners who won’t change a word of their outline--both processes can sort of dip into each other, which is super fun!

7. Clarifying writer logic versus writer instinct:

Pantsing, IMO, relies on writer instincts. As you parse a story, you make decisions and immediately apply them based off that instinct. Logic becomes more subtextual and clarifies once the story or scene is over. Outlining on the other hand calls upon writer logic since you’ve used your instincts making the outline. It’s more application based--you’ve made the decision, and now you use your logic to apply those decisions.

This is where I might suggest:

8. Writing sprints

Doing a quick sprint could be a great way to shift away from a mindset of outlining as it encourages you to write whatever comes to mind since you have a clock ticking. Writing sprints may propel you to call upon your writer instincts rather than writer logic, which I think is an important shift when trying a new process (probably why I always fail at outlining lol)!

I hope this helps! I’ll probably make a video about this topic and try to go more in depth on these points since this is a fascinating discussion!

[gastricpierrot]

Title: Ships in the Night 

Series: Genshin Impact

Relationship: ZhongVen

Rating: T

Summary:

Barbatos had always wanted to enjoy a Ludi Harpastum with Morax, making so many empty promises with him over the years to go together one day. A festival of fun and games close to his own heart, it’s a change of pace he always thought Morax could appreciate. They finally manage this after all these centuries, yet Barbatos just had to be an idiot at the very end.

He rests his arm over his eyes, exhaling a slow breath. He's such an idiot.

Also on AO3

--------------------------

The sheer idea of festivities lasting two whole weeks sounds absolutely exhausting to Morax, yet even at the peak of the Ludi Harpastum, Mondstadt’s people do not seem like they are slowing down anytime soon.

Morax’s tugged along by the cuff of his sleeve, Barbatos in the lead as they weave their way through the packed streets. Songs and cheer fill the air, mingled with the scents of various food, flowers, and of course, the city’s beloved wine. Barbatos himself is already tipsy despite it still being rather early in the day, having downed almost every pint of free alcohol that’s offered to him by the countless vendors they come across. There's an occasional stumble in his steps, but his spirits remain high as he shows Morax around with wholehearted excitement, a bright grin across his lips, a lively blush on his cheeks.

Morax finds the myriad of sensations dizzying, too many sights and sounds and scents bombarding him all at once—and he holds on to Barbatos’ presence for balance. Barbatos, in contrast, seems to harbour no such qualms, flitting from one booth to the next with ease, only pausing to look back when he finds something he wants to recommend. The apples from this store, the handcrafted trinkets from another, the freshly made Mora Meat from yet another one. He isn’t shy when it comes to haggling—even though Morax did remember to bring his wallet for once (much to Barbatos’ exaggerated horror) and he’s certain there would be enough between them to last the day—but it seems to be a normal occurrence to the vendors. Morax watches their good-humored banters, sees how comfortable Barbatos is around these parts and in these situations.

It’s clear how much he loves Mondstadt, and how much he is loved in return.

They spend the rest of the afternoon like this, navigating the packed streets, Barbatos showing him his favorite spots, stopping only for the occasional breathers and snacks. Mondstadt’s festivals have a very different atmosphere to them compared to those back in Liyue, unique in a way Morax can’t exactly pinpoint. Rowdier, perhaps, with the people more comfortable when it comes to mingling with strangers. Morax has lost count of the number of times he’s been randomly approached to be given some sort of gift, or to be invited for meals or gatherings he politely declines. Perhaps the community here is simply tighter knit as a whole, as compared to the more family-centric people of Liyue.

Barbatos leads him to a park at some point, declaring it’ll be their last stop before he has to prepare for a performance after sunset. Morax notices how it’s mainly families and children in this area, not a single wine vendor in sight. There are booths for games instead, where players will have the chance to earn various prizes if they win. Each is packed with groups of youngsters, all vying for the best toys on offer. Shrill, excited voices cheered and jeered at one another; in a way inciting even more chaos here compared to the people crowding the market lanes.

“Why don’t you give one a try? Even adults are allowed to play, you know,” Barbatos suggests when Morax stops to watch a child’s attempt at a game of throwing hoops over cups marked with numbers. Morax glances at him, sees his wayward smile.

“I don't think it’d be fair to the young ones if I did,” he says, to which Barbatos only barks out a laugh.

“Show off,” he retorts, and even Morax cracks a smile.

“Um, excuse me.”

They’re just about to continue on their way when a voice calls out to them. Morax turns around, not seeing anyone until it occurs to him to look down. A lone young girl stares at him wide-eyed from below, a messy flower crown clutched tightly in her hands.

“Mister, please have this!” She offers the item to him, her words slightly rushed from her enthusiasm. Morax has turned down countless gifts throughout the day, but this time, at least, he knows better than to needlessly upset a child.

So he kneels down to be a little closer to eye-level with her. “It is an honor to receive your gift.”

She stretches out her arms, and Morax tips his head to let her crown him.

The child giggles in delight as she steps back. “You really are like a prince, mister! Bye-bye!”

Morax watches her run back to her parents a little way off, warmth blossoming in his chest as he waves his own farewell to her. He gets back on his feet, and finds Barbatos looking at him with an expression he’s never seen him wear.

“It suits you,” he says, like he actually means it rather than the usual sarcasm Morax’s expected he would go for. He supposes he must be quite the sight, a full-grown adult with a falling-apart flower crown perching lopsided atop his head.

“It probably suits you more, Bar—” he stops himself just in time, remembering that they’re here only as humans and nothing more, and that they should at least make a bit of effort to keep up appearances. Though, it's not like anyone within their vicinity would actually be paying attention.

“Venti,” he tries anyway, and immediately breaks into a frown. The name still feels strange on his tongue, no matter how much he’s tried to practice saying it.

“Gods, it does feel weird hearing you call me that,” Barbatos admits with a slight wince, but Morax could somewhat tell that he appreciates it, nonetheless. It's the way his features brighten at the sound of it, the way his eyes would light up ever so slightly. It is, after all, a name bestowed upon him by a beloved friend many years ago. Barbatos has not been called such for a long time. “But yeah, no, you should keep that. Have some fun, let loose a little!”

Morax doesn’t exactly see how wearing flowers in his hair contributes to “letting loose”, but he doesn’t argue.

They have time to go grab something for dinner just as dusk falls, and then Barbatos is bringing him to what he claims to be one of the main final highlights of the Ludi Harpastum: an event of all night drinking and fireworks. There are several spots around the city hosting such sessions, all offering endless streams of food and alcohol sponsored by Mondstadt’s major wineries. Barbatos will be performing in the one held at the city square—the main place, he boasts—first of the few bards invited there to further enliven the mood.

Dozens of chairs and tables are set up across the open space, most already packed with people by the time they get there. There’s a small stage at the very front, the sides of the venue lined with booths in charge of the food and drinks. Waiting staff donning bright uniforms dart from table to table, expertly weaving their way around the already half-intoxicated crowd.

It’s almost overwhelming; the energy, the pungent scent of food and strong wine, the sheer rowdiness of the people gathered around. Morax stops by a convenient tree a respectable distance away from the square, just far enough that the chances of a random drunkard stumbling over and dragging him in would be minimal.

And “I think I’ll stay here,” he says, when Barbatos turns to him with raised eyebrows.

“Don’t want to join in?” he asks, despite Morax’s answer already being obvious.

“I’m sure I can enjoy the atmosphere well enough from here.”

“Hmm, fair enough.” Barbatos shrugs after a quick gauge of the distance between them and the heart of the event. Then he smiles, hands on his hips. “Anyway. I’ll get going first, then. I’ll come find you when I’m done?”

“If I haven’t already left,” Morax says, because he genuinely does not know how much of this unbridled revelry he can tolerate. Even now, part of him wants nothing more than to walk off and find somewhere quiet to wind down for the rest of the evening.

Of course, his statement immediately gets Barbatos whining. “At least wait for me!!!”

“Just go before you’re late.” Morax shoos him off, though he doubts anyone present currently retains even the slightest sense of time.

“Fine, fine!” Barbatos relents, cheeks still puffed, “but I’m going to throw rocks at you if you really leave without me, alright?”

Morax halfheartedly assures he can throw as many rocks at him as he wants if it comes to it, then with a sudden rush of wind and a final harrumph, Barbatos turns on his heels and strides towards the stage, his people cheering his name the moment they spot him.

“Looking forward to what you have for us tonight, Venti!”

“Venti you rascal, you really made us wait this time!”

“Venti, you’re looking lovely as ever!”

Venti, Venti.

The descent of a god, unknown to his own people.

Barbatos takes his seat on the single stool placed on the stage, crossing his legs just so, his posture relaxed yet brimming with elegance. The wind carries the sounds of his lyre all the way to where Morax stands, clear and proud amidst the endless chatter of the crowd. He begins with a slow tune, a moment of calm cutting through the chaos. Demanding attention.

Quiet. Listen.

Morax too, catches himself holding his breath.

And then Barbatos strums another note and smoothly transitions into a new tune, and the crowd explodes with excitement. His next song matches more to the barely suppressed merriment around him, its melody upbeat and festive. He’s skilled at involving his audience, easily encouraging them to sing and dance along. Charming, radiant. He captivates all who behold him—even Morax, despite such genre of music never being to his tastes. It’s a rather belated realization to come to, but seeing him fully in his element like this, Morax can tell that Barbatos’ boastings indeed hold their weight, and that he truly has mastered the craft of a bard.

Barbatos leaves the stage around the middle of his fourth song, slipping into the crowd as he continues his performance. He sings and twirls and dances, one with his people—and somehow still, Morax spots him managing to down some drinks in between. His current song involves a back and forth; he sings one line, then prompting the nearest person to follow up. It seems to be a piece everyone’s wholly familiar with, all who enthusiastically join in barely stumbling on their turn.

Morax notices too, after a few minutes of observation, that it also seems to be endless; constantly looping around the chorus. He wouldn’t put it past Barbatos for doing this deliberately, for as long as it continued, he could drink.

And he does drink. He drinks so much that it’s almost impressive, since he only has a few seconds at a time to gulp down his alcohol. Morax wrinkles his nose from afar, already dreading the stench he would exude when he returns later.

Morax doesn’t see it, at first. He can pinpoint Barbatos’ general location based on the reaction of the people and when he hops onto benches and tables for some elevation, but he’s partly obscured from his sight most of the time. It’s only as Barbatos makes his way further towards the back of the crowd, closer to where Morax stands, that he notices how else some members of his audience interact with him.

People who take advantage of the general unruliness of a large-scale drinking session in a packed area, hands that touch places past normal boundaries. His thighs, his back, his neck.

Barbatos does not falter, either too immersed in his own performance or too intoxicated to realize and care. Or perhaps he is simply used to this, having been a bard for as long as he’d been a god. Morax does not know.

Fire flares in his stomach the longer he watches, filling his mouth with a bitter taste. It is truly an uncomfortable sight. Intoxication is not consent, nor is silence. Morax could not stand it for long, reaching for the flower crown on his head and tossing it aside before striding toward where Barbatos is lingering within the crowd.

He grabs a person by the wrist and wrenches their hand away from Barbatos, his grip hard enough to make them cry out. Barbatos must’ve heard the commotion, turning at the sound and eyes widening in surprise when he sees Morax right there behind him.

Morax glares at him—a misdirection of his anger, he admits—but he only breaks into a satisfied grin, and finally decides to move his song along. He leaps onto the nearest table, feet stepping delicately between the many glass mugs piled across its surface. His tune reaching a crescendo, his finale presented with flourish.

His audience, quite literally, erupts into cheers and applause.

Barbatos half stumbles down from the table amidst the cacophony of the reception, Morax moving to catch him just as his knees buckle beneath him and he loses his balance. He's trembling, his forehead visibly damp with sweat.

And before Morax can properly help him get back on his feet, he throws up all over his sleeve.

xXx

Barbatos supposes his age must finally be catching up to him.

Or perhaps he’d simply overestimated himself, thinking that participating in the Ludi Harpastum’s all-night drink session wouldn’t be too different from his usual gigs, only with a little more people.

Perhaps he shouldn’t have stepped off the stage in the first place, shouldn’t have danced quite so hard, and should’ve saved the drinking until after his performance ended. The lack of air, the thick haze of human odour mixed with the saccharine scent of alcohol, his own sweeping movements—Barbatos had not expected them to combine into an experience quite so nauseating, even for a god.

He vaguely remembers throwing up once more while Morax carried him somewhere, then a third time in a washroom he didn’t recognize. Then he draws a blank after that.

He stirs to find himself on a bed, his clothes replaced with a set of loose cotton pajamas and his body smelling faintly of floral soap. His head throbs with a dull ache, but he figures he’s seen worse days. More than anything, he feels dehydrated, his lips dry and throat like sandpaper. He braces his palms against the mattress, and slowly pushes himself upright.

He's in a dimly lit room, probably one in an inn not too far off from the venue of the drink fest. He hears the sounds of running water from behind the door opposite the bed; Morax is probably there cleaning up after the mess Barbatos made. There’s a jug on the bedstand, a fresh glass of water already poured out for him. Barbatos’ chest warms as he reaches for it, endeared by how fastidious Morax remains, despite everything.

He returns to lying down a little later, admittedly just a little bitter at how things have turned out. He’s had such an amazing day. He'd always wanted to enjoy a Ludi Harpastum with Morax, making so many empty promises with him over the years to go together one day. A festival of fun and games close to his own heart, it’s a change of pace he always thought Morax could appreciate, since he’s constantly at work. They finally manage this after all these centuries, yet Barbatos just had to be an idiot at the very end.

He rests his arm over his eyes, exhaling a slow breath. He's such an idiot.

The sounds of the shower eventually come to a stop, leaving a ringing sort of silence in their absence. The ruckus of the ongoing party not far off carries all the way to their window; people laughing, cheering, singing. Fireworks bursting in the sky.

He'd wanted to show Morax the fireworks too, damn it.

He lowers his arm and turns when he hears Morax stepping out of the bathroom. He’s wearing a similar set of pajamas as himself, though admittedly it looks so out of place on him that Barbatos almost lets out a snort.

“Hey,” he greets, because he’s genuinely not sure how else he should start. Morax meets his gaze from behind his damp fringe, his face betraying no particular emotion.

“Hey,” he returns, every bit as curt. Barbatos cracks a lopsided smile, and decides there’s no point trying to go around it.

“Listen, Morax, I’m so sorry things ended up like this,” he says, twisting to lie on his side facing him. Morax doesn’t respond to that immediately, and neither does Barbatos see much of a change in his expression.

“Barbatos, how many times do you think I've had to handle your drunk antics over the years?”

Barbatos winces at that. “Now you’re making me feel even worse.”

“You should,” Morax agrees, running a towel over his damp hair. “It’s about time you realize how self-centered and inconsiderate and – “

“Okay, okay, I get it!!” Barbatos interjects before his feelings are actually hurt. “I’m sorry!”

Morax only shoots him a meaningful look and says nothing else, knowing at the end of the day he’d do it all over again anyway. Barbatos supposes he can’t blame him; he’s more aware than anyone that he’s been the way he is for more than a millennium, never once giving even the slightest indication that he would change.

Maybe it’s time he considers, after all that’s happened today, but he decides he’ll mull over that some other time.

His eyes follow Morax as he steps away to hang his towel on a rack, his confusion growing when Morax proceeds to stand rooted in place, frowning slightly and arms crossed as though deep in thought. Barbatos stares at him for a solid couple of minutes before speaking up.

“What are you doing?”

“Thinking about what I should do next,” Morax answers, in all seriousness. Barbatos can’t believe this man is for real. He bursts into laughter, earning himself a puzzled look.

“You really don’t know what ‘rest’ means, do you?” he marvels, then scooting closer against the wall and patting the empty spot before him. “Come here and lie down, we’ve been up and about the entire day. Aren’t you tired?”

Morax’s frown deepens by a fraction. “But I don’t think there’s sp-”

“There’s more than enough space for the both of us!” Barbatos assures, chest light with newfound mirth. Morax really is too much of a gentleman at times. “This bed’s huge!”

Morax remains hesitant for a moment longer, but with just a little more gentle pestering, he relents in the end. “Then, if I may.”

Barbatos watches as he moves to take the space beside him, watches the way his long hair falls over his shoulders, the way the collar of his shirt shifts to reveal the hollow of his throat, a small window of his chest.

Morax fully lies down, and Barbatos realizes there really is just enough space for them to stay still like this. Huh. Has Morax always been such a big person? Or maybe the bed really isn’t that wide to begin with, and whatever alcohol lingering within his system is just messing with his perception of space. Not that it matters at this point. Morax still smells fresh from his shower, his uncharacteristically messy hair and comfortable clothes giving him an air of innocence Barbatos never expected to see on him. Unguarded, youthful. They’re a mere half-arm's length apart, close enough that Barbatos can almost feel his every exhale of breath.

“So how did you find the Ludi Harpastum?” he asks, voice barely above a whisper, perhaps part of him being rather conscious about the little distance between them. Did it live up to the expectations he set for him by constantly inviting him to one over the years, he wonders? Did Morax at least enjoy himself a little with all the festivities? Barbatos noticed he’d mostly followed his lead, trying the many things he’d recommended to him, visiting only the places he brings him. Barely making many choices for himself. It’s too late at this point, yet Barbatos still worries about being overbearing without meaning to. Could Morax really have had fun without as much as a freedom of decision?

“It was...” Morax trails off ominously, pausing to weigh his words while Barbatos braces himself for the continuation. “Different, I suppose.”

“A good different or a bad one?”

“Just different,” Morax affirms. “It certainly feels livelier than the celebrations in Liyue.”

“Then,” Barbatos perks up, a little more hopeful now with the way Morax has responded so far. “What did you like most?”

Morax hums to that, silent in a moment of contemplation. “If I were to choose, I quite enjoyed some of the places we visited.”

He goes on to recall the few locations he’d found a liking to, admiring the history and cultural significance of each that Barbatos had explained to him, the various architectural designs and artistic liberties that define Mondstadt’s trademarks. The motifs of the cobbled streets, the poems framed and hung inside windmills serving as charms for Barbatos’ blessings, even the theme of the patterns carved on many a doorplate—Morax seems to have been quite fascinated by them.

He wears a different expression when he talks about the things that strikes his fancy. A slight upturn of his lips, the faintest crinkles at the corner of his eyes. Even his voice adopts a different tone, laced with a smallest hint of excitement—perhaps even joy, because someone cares to listen.

Barbatos could listen to him like this for an eternity, if he had the chance.

“You’re staring at me,” Morax stops to say at some point, a slight knit across his brow. Barbatos supposes he must be wearing quite the expression, for him to look at him like that. But he could not help it; after all, who wouldn’t be utterly captivated by someone as quietly radiant as this god before him?

“I think I'm in love with you, Morax.”

Are the words that take form, a confession he’s surely taken long enough to make. He no longer even remembers when was the first time it’d dawned him, that his feelings for Morax had progressed into something that wasn’t platonic. How many years has it been since he started seeing him with a different sort of admiration, with the barely suppressible urge of wanting to be closer to him?

Morax blinks at him once, twice. Processing what he’s just heard; understandable, as it really had come out of nowhere.

Then he averts his gaze, reaching to cover his mouth as a wave of red creeps up his entire face.

“Why don’t you tell me that again when you’re sober?” he mumbles into his hand, and Barbatos effectively short-circuits for a moment.

“This is the most sober I’ve been all day, though???”

Morax is adamant, shifting to turn away from him as though to physically end the conversation. “That’s what a drunk person would say. Now stop talking and go back to sleep.”

“No, no, no, isn’t this a little sudden?? Morax??” Barbatos is half laughing now, seeing how desperately Morax is trying to deal with his own embarrassment. It is surprisingly contagious, though; even he’s starting to feel a little shy the longer he badgers him.

“Morax?? Heyyy, Morax? Rex Lapis?”

And yet he refuses to let it stop him. He can see how red Morax’s ears are even from behind him like this. Barbatos pokes at his back, a mix of fondness and mischief welling in his chest when the idea occurs to him.

He squirms forward, closing the little distance between them.

“Zhongli.”

Morax tenses at that, the slightest reaction that Barbatos would’ve missed if he as much as blinked. He's...really cute when he’s like this. Part of Barbatos refuses to believe that this is happening. Morax, the Geo Archon, the honourable Rex Lapis, Adepti Prime—has this absurdly adorable side to him.

“Zhongli,” Barbatos dares to say again, just to see what other sort of response he could elicit from him. “Zhongli.”

He leans out of the way just in time before Morax twists to face him once more, bracing himself for a well-deserved smack—but is instead pulled into a tight embrace.

“You’re so obnoxious,” Morax says, his exasperation obvious even in his quiet tone. Barbatos smiles as he returns the hug with just a much intensity, leaning into their contact with a sigh, a swell of his heart.

Morax is much warmer than he could’ve ever imagined.  

xXx

They say that both the Geo and Anemo Archons are fond of disguising as humans, often descending from their divine residence in Celestia to mingle with the commonfolk of their respective nations.

No one knows what are their preferred appearances, as oftentimes they are indistinguishable from the everyday person. No one knows if they preferred to present as men or women or even children, or if the rumours of them taking human form even hold any truth. After all, who’s to say they wouldn’t choose to appear as an animal, a sprite, or perhaps a fragment of the elements they embody?

Not many in the nations of Liyue and Mondstadt have ever had the chance to see their respective gods, nor to realize that they’ve lain eyes upon them at all. It is something the people have accepted to simply leave up to chance, as there is no point to obsessing over the miniscule possibility of coming face to face with the deity they worship. There are enough mundane things worth paying attention to on the daily; the clarity of the skies, the specials available in the markets, the trees newly bearing fruit.

A particular sight has grown more common as well within the borders of the two neighbouring nations in recent years, one of a pair often spotted strolling together through the busy city streets, the bustling villages, and even the vast wilderness, when the weather is agreeable.

Should one have their stars aligned just right, they may just chance upon a certain bard and gentleman, both usually engrossed in jovial chatter or some lighthearted bickering no matter the location. Oddly out of place sometimes, seeming right at home the rest. Greet them if you wish, and they would usually respond warmly in return. But take heed, at times you may notice their hands linked and fingers intertwined, the pair lost in a world of their own—and that will be your sign to give space, for even gods would appreciate a little time to themselves.

[zenosanalytic]

Growing Up is Hard; It’s Hard and Nobody Understands

So I noticed netflix has Neon Genesis Evangelion up last week and started watching it front to back for the first time ever(this happens to have coincided with me being in a down-mood for your edification, dear readers u_u), finished it today, REALLY liked it, and I wanted to try my hand at explaining what the hell is even going on in NGE cuz it actl seemed super-clear to me(a person who has been consuming NGE analysis and post-NGE media for literally 25 years) u_u

Surface Plot; Or NERV: What the Hell Is It?

I’ll try to make this as brief as possible: An organization of super-wealthy individuals calling itself Seele(looking this up, it means soul in german) wants to possess the power of God. The final third or so of the series is clear on this; it’s all about power. Ikari Yui, a geneticist, is recruited by this organization, and her husband Gendo(having taken her name which says a LOT given typical Japanese practice) comes with her. In seeking out this power, they discover a hollow sphere underneath Antarctica(”The White Moon”), send an expedition there under the guise of the UN, encounter an entity with this power which they label an “Angel”, and do SOMETHING which prompts it to explode the continent flooding the earth and killing half the population(that Gendo left beforehand implies this may have been intentional, or that a bad outcome to Seele’s approach was easy to predict, tho in typical Gendo fashion, his is the only ass he cared to save).

Afterwards Seele blame the scientists for this outcome and send Gendo on a salvage mission which recovers both remains of the Angel, now dubbed “Adam”, and a device they dub “the spear of Longinus”. Seele creates Gehirn to study these remains for practical use; they clone “Adam” and dub the result Evas(Eves). Having cloned them, they now need a way to use and control them as the Evas are non-responsive. They hit on the idea of injecting people into them via the Entry Plug system, presumably to act as a brain. The first person to try this, Ikari Yui, was absorbed by the Eva(Unit 01); the second(Soryu Kyoko Zeppelin; Asuka’s mother) was partially psychologically absorbed by Unit 02, psychologically and mentally injured by this, institutionalized, abandoned by her shit USian husband Langley who remarried to her LEAD DOCTOR, and eventual kills herself in a hanging which Asuka either is the first to discover or, given her memories of promising to die with her/begging her not to do it, was present for. An important thing to note about this: Shinji and Asuka’s ability to sync with their Evas comes from the fact that their mothers are PART of their Eva’s identity, and all of their classmates are potential pilot-candidates. The implication here is that Seele KNEW this happened when you put adults into an Angel, and they KEPT DOING IT ANYWAY to create more pilots, but there’s no confirmation of that in series.

After the attempt at human adult control fails, Gendo combines Yui’s DNA with Adam’s and creates Rei. At the same time he is doing this another team, under Akagi Naoko, is developing Magi, a biomechanical computer for simulating the human mind(again: certain implication to this re: Evas though the series never says anything). Naoko is romantically interested in Gendo, and they start getting together(Gendo’s too much of an asshole to be said to date, I think). After Rei, a toddler, tells her Gendo calls her an “old woman” in private, not realizing this is insulting, Naoko kills her, then kills herself out of shame over having MURDERED A CHILD, and Gehirn is folded into a new organization, NERV, which Gendo is put in charge of. Rei forms the basis of the second attempt at controlling the Evas; child-pilots.

How they use Rei for this I’m not exactly sure. It could be because Rei is cloned from Yui(she easily syncs with Unit 01 before Shinji bonds with it completely), or because she’s part Angel via her Adam element(Kaworu says Angels merge with one another easily and naturally), or it could be they did something with Rei I’s corpse and Unit 00(I dont see how as it seems to require a LIVE pilot). Regardless, she is raised to be the pilot for 00, the prototype. MUCH later, when the rest of the Angels finally decide to come looking for Adam, Shinji is called in, and after his success Asuka(who like Rei and unlike Shinji has been training to pilot her whole life) is called to Nerv headquarters(under Japan, in the “Black Moon”; a second spherical hollow where they found another Angel they call Lilith) too.

Regardless the child-pilots are only a step in Nerv and Seele’s plans, as Rei is ALSO the template for the Dummy Plug system, the final step in complete control of Eva units. To put it simply, the Dummy Plugs are Rei-clones without her personality or memories, and will just do whatever the heck they’re ordered to. At least once during the series(and I’d argue two, possibly three times) Rei dies and is replaced by one of these clones through some process, which involves what looks like a pre 00 Eva’s spine and probably a Magi-like backup, which transfers her personality and memories into the new body.

So what is Nerv? Well it’s hard to say EXACTLY because Gendo is in some sort of conflict with Seele(and I want to keep my watches of End of Evangelion out of this post; to focus entirely on JUST NGE itself) and Nerv IS Gendo, but as the series states repeatedly it’s an attempt to control the future of humanity by controlling what they call “the power of god” which, given that it’s what most distinguishes the “Angels”, is the AT, or “Absolute Terror”, Field. What is the AT Field? It’s a field that can make or unmake any kind of matter or energy from basically nothing, and it also seems to have a strong tie to what you could call the Ego; to desires and sense-of-self. An AT Field gets stronger when the person generating it is experiencing powerful emotions; Confidence, sure, but also Fear, Abandonment, the Will to Live, and Anger.

That last bit is very important. Why? Strong AT Field effects require a powerful emotional motivation in the pilot combined with high sync-rates with the Eva(basically a lobotomized Angel-clone) generating the Field. The three pilots we meet, the Strongest candidates, are all exceedingly traumatized people, and Gendo is the direct cause of the trauma of two of them. At no point in the series is Gendo ever a good father to Shinji, he is CONSTANTLY unreasonable, neglectful, and cruel to him; he’s kinder to Rei but at the same time her loneliness, the state of her “home”, and her lack of self worth shows that he rarely interacts with her outside of missions or explains what’s going on beyond bald facts; and he COMPLETELY ignores Asuka, a deeply lonely child with a history of abandonment and close brushes with death; he even delegates bumping her from the program. This point is important because it’s important to recognize that Gendo is a bad dad on PURPOSE; that he instrumentalizes his bad dadness to traumatize Shinji(and Rei and Asuka, though sadly the series doesn’t focus on them enough for us to see much) as much as he can, because he thinks that trauma, that emotional instability and anger, MAKES SHINJI A MORE USEFUL PILOT; ie lets him generate more powerful AT Fields. This is never said clearly, but it’s clearly what’s going on as forcing Unit 01(and thus Shinji) into awful, heartbreaking, life-threatening situations is vital to his plan. Gendo’s a piece of shit, and I want ppl to recognize just HOW BIG a piece of shit he is, because I feel this powerfully.

And for what? For Power. To be “God”. To get the highest numbers. To generate the MOST Invincible Invincibility Shield. For Ridiculous, Absurd, Childish reasons. For, you know, the same reasons rich and powerful people do all the fucked up shit they do in the real world where giant magic robots thankfully DONT exist.

And how do they plan to do this? Through “Human Instrumentation”, which will literally kill everyone by turning them all into goo.

Metaplot; Or “SHINJI! Don’t Get in that Robot!!”

So, maybe this is just because(as said previously) I’ve been reading NGE Analysis and consuming media which NGE heavily inspired for ~25 years, but I think it’s old hat at this point to note that Neon Genesis Evangelion is ALSO an allegory for becoming an adult, centered on Shinji. However, it’s just really SO on the nose in this, so PERFECT as such a narrative, that I want to run through it real quick. Also: A Cruel Angel’s Thesis is basically a thesis-statement for this series; please check out the lyrics.

So Shinji is living under the guardianship of a teacher(yup: this series even takes a swing at how our society uses schools to warehouse kids so their parents can waste their lives producing “Value” instead of raising them), when the shitty dad that abandoned him decides he has a use for him after all and calls him up.

On meeting with a child he has not seen SINCE HE WAS A TODDLER LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM ON THE STREET WHEN HIS MOTHER DIED he immediately ambushes him with the command that he get in a huge body(that he grow up) to do what? Whatever Gendo tells him to, but specifically: commit acts of violence for Gendo and Seele’s profit. He tells him this will protect people; meanwhile doing it destroys those peoples’ literal homes. The rest of the series is a series of monotonous, incomprehensible “Tests” judging his, and his peers, worthiness for approval and affection on the basis of how well they can use those giant bodies to do what Gendo tells them(so: capitalist work), punctuated by unpredictable, brutal, traumatizing, and physically dangerous events(so: capitalist work). Every friend, and the one lover, he meets, he is placed in unnecessary, destructive competition with and, when they are male, forced to attack and(in the case of the one lover, Kaworu) kill them; this last comment on homophobia is so stark and obvs I don’t even feel like you can CALL it subtext, even IF it plays out over mostly a single episode(honestly this plotline should have been given more time). And all the time they’re doing this, they must ALSO continue going to school and maintaining the front that they’re happy smiley Heroes, completely normal and not traumatized at all, and Nerv and the government that lets them run this city is a great and wonderful organization. Is this not what becoming an adult, over your teens and 20s, feels like?

And then there’s Seele and Nerv. Able to move state governments as they wish, Seele CAUSED Second Impact(Global Warming). By not returning Adam’s remains, they’re CAUSING the Angel attacks on Nerv meant to retrieve them(the threat of Human extinction). The Angels eventually begin trying to communicate and Nerv’s response? Destroy them before they can; blow up the Evas(and their pilots) if they succeed. And to top it all off Seele and Nerv are actually trying to CAUSE the very extinction(Third Impact) they claim to be preventing! Seele and Nerv are just SUCH good metaphors for capitalism in our modern day.

The transwoman reading of Shinji also seems pretty dang strong to me, though I’ll only deal with it shallowly. Shinji is the only “male” of all the pilots. Outside of command and security, most Nerv staff are women. Being an Eva pilot, being Nerv staff, is marked as “feminine”, and Shinji is an Eva pilot; is a Nerv staffer. The body he gets into, Unit 01, acts as a metaphor for the large, imposing, masculine body he’s expected to have as an adult “man”, yet it’s also spiritually his mom -feminine- and his ability to use it is tied DIRECTLY with his ability to “Sync” with that spirit; with his ease and comfort being feminine. Even at the level of mere aesthetics, Shinji’s plugsuit makes him appear to have breasts! Going a bit deeper, he initially relates to the women around him by relating to their gender. He’s most at ease with Rei because of the personality traits she shares with him which, we know from his gender-policing of Misato from earlier in the series, are traits he considers feminine(ie: he doesn’t feel like Misato has them, so he thinks she’s being a woman “wrong” and gets oddly offended by this in a way that really feels more about him than her). Asuka is constantly expressing her frustration with him for not “being a man”, ie, for being “feminine” in her eyes, and he isn’t really bothered by it(her calling him an idiot seems to stick much more firmly). Misato and Shinji establish a modus vevendi when she accepts him as he is, allowing him to do the household chores and to cook; he’s comfortable and happy when accepted into roles his culture considers feminine, while most of the series is him bucking AGAINST the masculinity forced on him by Nerv, his father, and others. Again: this is a very surface-level engagement with the subject, but even at that shallow level I feel like the case for reading Shinji as a transwoman is pretty solid.

Dislikes

It’s not a perfect series by any means of course.

There’s allot of dialogue that’s pure 90s nonsense, though the series mostly includes it only to shoot it down.

Like I said above, I don’t think Rei and Asuka really get the time or attention they deserve. In general the series treatment of women is ...Weird... especially around the issue of sex. It’s really strange; in many ways it’s far better than most anime(spcl from that period) on this. Women are ACTUAL PEOPLE with psychology, opinions, and pasts; they’re allowed to have emotions of their own, and struggles, and to be damn competent; they are independent and their own selves rather than accessories or “prizes” to men. But on the issue of feminine sexuality it just gets suddenly so weird in this very particular old-school misogynist way. Like: it treats women’s attraction and reactions TO relationships as something devoid of and impenetrable to reason, without belittling the emotions(the desire and hurt) behind those reactions. That’s the only way I can describe it, and it’s so strange to see something that is both so insulting and sympathetic at once. Oh, and the Akagis in particular are done super-dirty for seemingly no reason I can see, tho I can guess, and Akagi Ritsuki is CLEARLY a lesbian(possibly bi lesbian) and also Rose Lalonde(srsl; her Deal should have been an unrequited, unspoken crush on Misato. They openly dealt with queerness re: Kaworu and Shinji they could have done it here too).

The Kaworu storyline should have been a series of episodes or even developed from the start with him as another pilot(maybe replace Toji with him), though they’d have to tone down his weirdness, at least at the start. A deeper dive on Shinji’s sexuality(honestly his attraction to Kaworu is SO much more immediate and believable than anything we see with him and Asuka, which there is basically nothing of beyond the ep where they had to do choreography for a fight, and that’s not developed on) would have really been appreciated, and having Kaworu be a bigger part of the series would have facilitated that.

Also honestly the whole series feels a bit rushed? Spcl the second half. Like I said: I haven’t done any followup reading lately, but I remember there being some budget problems or something, so maybe that’s the cause. Ironically it might actl also be why it’s as GOOD as it is; having to keep it short forces you to write concise and lean, and that’s probably why its themes and message are so clear. But, I’d have liked more rambling for character development, and more time spent on seeing Rei and Asuka react to the stresses we saw Shinji face(also they never really get moments to shine like he does; another negative common to the medium and genre). Asuka in particular, as a Japanese German with a USian temperament abandoned by her parents, already an outsider in SO many ways, coming to live in an entirely different culture where she’s even MORE of an outsider; forced to live with people(Misato and Shinji) she finds it impossible to relate to or connect with; who has literally NO ONE beside a single adult guardian who totally blows her off THE WHOLE SERIES after delivering her; PLUS her awful past: there’s just SO MUCH material I’d have loved to see explored more slowly and with greater depth, detail, and sympathy even if what IS there already is pretty powerful and effecting. She’s SUCH a good Vriska(so I’d also have loved to see her break more shit too >:>)

Conclusion

So Anyway: I really liked this series. It had its problems, there are things I’d have liked to see, but it absolutely deserves the reputation it has. I might write more about this, I might do a watch through INCLUDING End of Evangelion(which actl makes much more sense having watched the series, though having done so makes Shinji’s masturbation scene comPLETELY out of left-field like where the hell did THAT come from); we’ll see.

[yslkook]

#alignment (2)

#corporate part 2

summary: the announcement of a new project brings you closer to jungkook. also, you see jungkook at the gym, and your grandma tells you for the millionth time that you should marry seokjin.

word count: 3938

warnings: cursing, parental death, discussion of mental health

a/n: omg ok i know i said this was going to be enemies to lovers but it’ll probably be softer than that because i’m me. enjoy!!

***

For once in the workplace, you’re excited and thrumming with anticipation. It had been determined months ago that a submission for one of your new products would be occurring soon, and now it was time for those plans to come to fruition. Preparing for submissions to the country’s approval authorities was an arduous, but enticing task. Enticing for you at least.

This is where you thrive. This is where the half sown seeds you had planted in the ground come to full bloom. You’re good at telling people what to do, having the tough conversations and you’re good at navigating through tough problems. It’s why your boss had assigned you to this project months ago. Even if you resented your boss and he likely resented you, he was smart enough to play your strengths.

After all, it would only make him look good when you were successful.

Over the last few years, you’ve saved up enough money for exactly three designer pantsuits. Today was not the occasion to bring out your black Balmain pantsuit or your Dior heels. The power that your Balmain pantsuit and Dior heels gave you was reserved for special occasions. Only when powerful players were involved and you needed to bring your A game to the table. And when you needed to make a statement- that none of them should even dare to undermine you.

You were a contributing team member, not the lead. You wanted to be, though. You wanted to be the submissions lead, but that was almost always given to the regulatory department. Since they had knowledge of the regulations and adherence to them.

You’re sucked into a daydream where you would start one of these kickoff meetings in your Balmain pantsuit. You would need every single one of these people to know exactly who was in charge. Your painted lips would leave no room for jokes. Not in your conference room.

Namjoon looks at you and you nod. This isn’t your first time being part of a major submission, but you won’t be caught making a fool of yourself.

But still, you pack on a saccharine smile dripping with honey. You need to come across as approachable. They need to trust you, and you need to trust them. You put aside your disdain for your manager and his manager for the entirety of the day and the smile feels much less forced as the morning goes on.

Your manager who sits three seats away from you. And another young woman on your team sits next to you. She’s new, and looks at her in the same way that Jeon looks at you. Wide eyed and innocent. As if you’re meant to guide her through the inner workings of capitalism.

Even Jeon Jungkook, sitting two seats away Namjoon’s boss, doesn’t bother you. Not today. Not when you’re in your element. The sight of him still sends your blood into a rage, but not today. You hardly think about the fact that he’d garnered the attention of all of the higher ups in the regulatory department, and he’s only been here for two months. 

You’d graduated from flat out ignoring him to at least offering him a small nod of acknowledgment. He still can’t understand your dislike of him. You pretend to ignore the questions in his sparkling eyes.

You could command the entire room with well-timed jokes earning chuckles from your audience, as they would listen intently as you explain the project timelines and what each team is designed to do.

It’s only a dream, a whisper of a future that you’re torturing yourself over.

“We’re anticipating submission in November of next year. That gives us fourteen months to prepare,” Namjoon says, pointing to the slide being projected on the screen, “We’ll need to go to Tokyo at least three times in the next fourteen months. Two workshops will be scheduled in Tokyo to bring them up to speed and go over a detailed risk management plan. And then we’ll be in Tokyo for the submission itself, where the approval authorities will assess our data. Tokyo in November is beautiful, so let’s be ready for it.”

There are murmurs within your audience, buzzing with anticipation of the next fourteen months. 

Tokyo in November is beautiful, you think wistfully.

As Namjoon instructs each person’s role in the team and what the deliverables are, you let your gaze float over to Jungkook. You haven’t truly seen him in the few months he’s been here, unable to reconcile the fact that he was fresh meat and had more of a rank than you. He was doe eyed, naive and a kid with his tail between his legs.

And yet, he was anything but. His hair was dark and fluffy, almost wavy. A stark contrast from the different colors his hair would be week to week when you were in graduate school. He had such a baby face back then, but even then, you thought he was cute. In an adorable, awww look at you, sort of way.

Now, you think, now- with his ears pierced and tattoos on his knuckles, dressed in all black. Filling his clothes out. Now, with his boyish charm, he looks like the man you knew he’d grow up to be. His lips are pink and pouty, slightly parted in concentration as he listens to Namjoon.

It’s only been five years. Only five years and you feel like much more time has passed. He had been more than a mentee to you- one of your good friends, always protective of him over mean girls but not afraid to tell him when he was being stupid. Jeon Jungkook was all bright eyes and bunny smiles, and he still is. 

He catches you looking at him, offering you a wide smile as his eyes glitter at you. You can’t help but smile back, giving him more than your usual thin-lipped smile.

You nearly scoff when you take in his tattoos and his earrings. Of course he wasn’t reprimanded for that, in the name of inclusivity and freedom of expression. The corporate world has come such a long way, and yet some things are still the same.

Like you not getting the recognition you certainly deserved, in favor of it going to your male counterparts and superiors

It’s not his fault. It’s not his fault.

Jungkook’s smile fades when your fleeting smile turns into a small frown as you glaze over him. You swivel your chair and he watches your eyes land on your boss. A thinly veiled look of irritation blooming into something similar to disdain flashes across your face when your eyes land on him. It comes and goes swiftly, your dark eyes reverting to a perfect palette of blankness.

You’re a far cry from the person he knew all those years ago, and yet you still feel so familiar. He wonders if there’s a specific reason that you seem to hate him, but he tries not to dwell on it. On you. On the past. 

You were a mere blip in his twenty-six years of life, and he’s certain the feeling is mutual. But he wants to catch up with you again, see how you’ve been over the last few years. But it seems you could care less about him. That’s okay. 

You had been his dream girl, once upon a time. At least in his mind. He had been just a kid, only twenty-one, and he’d only known you for a few months before you left graduate school abruptly. You were older than him, unattainable even. He and his friends had chalked it up to a stupid crush on an older girl and his own rose-tinted glasses.

But then you had left without so much as a goodbye, and it hurt a little more than a crush. 

Jungkook catches steel and ice curling in your brown eyes and he wonders if he knew you at all.

***

Anyone who wasn’t part of the core team had been dismissed, only leaving you with Sana, Jungkook, Namjoon and a few others. It was a total of six people. You agreed with that approach- the less was better. If more people got involved, it would become impossible to move forward. You even thought that only one person from your team and Namjoon’s team should be involved. But you didn’t voice it, knowing that Namjoon had put a lot of thought into the strategy and approach.

With your input as well. You had spent at least two hours a week for the last few weeks with Namjoon, and sometimes by extension with Jungkook to help with the strategy and planning of the project.

Namjoon was always good about giving you credit where credit was due, almost as if it was second nature. Which you appreciated. It was much more than you could say for your own boss.

Working with Namjoon was one of your favorite parts of your job. You both worked well together, like two puzzle pieces that smoothed each other’s edges out. You both had strategic foresight in different ways, and it just worked.

You wish, not for the first time, that you were in the regulatory department. Rather than your own. But it was common knowledge that it was an unspoken requirement that everyone in the regulatory department had a graduate degree. And you did not.

Seokjin would often joke that he was worried that you’d leave him for Namjoon. To which you would tell him to stop being stupid. After all, at the end of the day, Namjoon was just a work colleague and Jin was your friend.

Jungkook had watched and listened intently to you and Namjoon during those meetings, taking notes to summarize. Without warning, you’d turn your eyes to him and ask him what his thoughts were.

In the beginning, he would stutter at the sudden question. And you’d move on quickly with a flash of your eyes, a nonverbal confirmation that he had failed your not so explicit test.

But he’s a quick learner, and he’s perceptive. And he knows you remember, from the fond way your eyes shine at him and the way you give him a small smile when he does speak up. When he’s not thrown off by your sudden brusqueness.

Jungkook thought he misheard you when you had even complimented him-

“Well, we might be getting rusty. The new kid thought of this and we completely overlooked it,” You snort, but throw Jungkook a rare smile.

“I’m not a kid,” Is all Jungkook can choke out.

But then you had gone back to barely acknowledging him in the hallways and anywhere that wasn’t Namjoon’s office, so Jungkook let it go. Again.

Jungkook shifts his eyes to you, centering himself. Your pen scratches lightly as you take notes in your neat, black notebook. You never go anywhere without that thing.

“I can set up the biweekly meetings,” Jungkook offers, already looking for an available time for the five of you on his laptop.

“Thanks, Jungkook,” Sana says, “Beat me to it.”

Jungkook shrugs with a smile, “it’s no problem.”

The four of you pack up, putting away your laptops, pens and notebooks into your respective bags. You’re in a good mood today, happy to be part of something important. You felt like you belonged somewhere, and even if it was temporary and for work reasons... It was still nice to be needed.

You were in a good enough mood to walk with your group to their desks, something you rarely ever did. You were mostly the first one in and out of conference rooms, not really waiting up for anyone. Unless it was Seokjin or even Namjoon.

“Have a good rest of your day, Jungkook,” You murmur, meeting his eyes as you pass him to head to your own cubicle. You offer him another smile as you look at him from over your shoulder, one that he returns. Once you walk away, he sits in his chair, leaning backwards and looking up at the ceiling.

Jungkook has whiplash. He stretches his arms before checking his email and deciding to call it a day.

***

Jungkook gathers his gym duffel bag in his hands and cleans up his desk to head to the gym, located just downstairs on the other side of the building. It’s about a four minute walk, and then another few minutes to change into his gym clothes,

There were plenty of perks of working here, but the gym was his favorite one. It had been newly renovated only six months before he had joined. Everything is pristine and new and it’s everything he wants in a gym.

He plugs his wireless headphones into his ears and allows himself to get lost in the music and the rhythm of his feet thumping against the treadmill.

He pays no mind to you sliding onto the elliptical, five machines away from him. He’s too engrossed in his own workout, allowing the adrenaline and music to flow through his veins. Once he’s done with the treadmill, Jungkook heads over to the weights, mats and body bars to do a quick upper body workout.

His eyes are trained on himself in front of the mirror, mentally keeping track of his reps. Jungkook doesn’t even notice you standing a few feet away, with your own weights. 

You can’t help but sneak a few glances at him. A few more than you probably should. Despite the way his gym clothes are incredibly loose on him, nearly hanging off of his shoulder… You can still tell that he takes his gym routines seriously.

You slide your eyes towards his form once more in the mirror and see the deepening furrow between his eyebrows as he huffs through his reps.

For someone who internally claims that the sight of him disgusts you, you sure can’t keep your eyes off of him.

Rolling your eyes at yourself, you decide to change the song and start your lifting regimen. Thoughts of Jeon Jungkook fade away as you concentrate, eyes centered on your form and your form only. Beads of sweat from your cardio workout merge with fresh beads of sweat pooling on your forehead, your neck, your chest, your armpits.

You’ve recently started coming to the gym more frequently as a means to expel some pent up negative energy. Over the last year or so- maybe even two or three years, or maybe this energy has been with you for much longer and you had failed to realize it- you’ve tried to make it a point to come to the gym at least three or four times a week. You came here to clear your mind, and if you were losing inches and becoming toned because of it… Well, that was just a plus.

It wasn’t a permanent fix, of course. It wasn’t a permanent fix to your laundry list of issues that you knew you had and that you knew you were running away from. But for the hour that you were in the gym, it felt like nothing else existed. Your mind was off and the only thing you heard was the pounding of your heart.

The last time your laundry list of issues had been discussed out loud, Jin had recommended seeing a therapist. That conversation had ended up in a big fight and lots of tears from both of you. You weren’t ready to admit to yourself, much less someone else, that you needed help. That you needed so much help.

The idea has been popping up more and more recently ever since Jin mentioned it. And honestly, you’re surprised it took you this long to think about it seriously.

You’ll table the thought for later. 

You audibly wince as your shoulders nearly give out at the end of your set. By then, Jungkook has noticed your presence only five feet away from him. He wants to correct you on your stance to tell you to straighten your back and tell you that the way you’re holding the kettlebell is too loose.

But he bites his tongue. After all, it had taken two months just to get a simple ‘have a nice day’ out of you and he won’t ruin that.

However. He sees the strain on your face and the way your knees aren’t bent. You’re going to hurt yourself if you don’t correct your posture.

Jungkook pulls his earphones out and calls your name. The first time he does, you don’t hear it. Then, you hear your name faintly and it startles you.

“Didn’t see you there,” You lie through your teeth, wondering if he caught you checking him out not even fifteen minutes ago.

He did, but he keeps that to himself.

“Uh,” Jungkook starts, his hand raised in an awkward hand wave.

You roll your eyes.

“You’re the one who called my name, Jungkook. What is it?” You ask impatiently, with narrowed eyes.

Right.

“Your posture isn’t right. You’re gonna hurt your back if you don’t widen your legs and straighten your back,” Jungkook explains, hoping you don’t take it the wrong way.

Annoyance washes off of your face quickly.

“Oh. Thanks,” You reply, “Like this?”

You heed his instructions and pointedly look at him for approval.

“Yeah,” Jungkook says, ignoring the stutter of his heartbeat, “Yeah, exactly like that.”

“Were you a personal trainer in a past life?” You ask.

You chalk up the small talk to the rush of endorphins. Not an actual sense of curiosity. Your body betrays your inner thoughts, as she usually does.

“Nah, not officially. I got into working out in college and would help out friends wherever we could,” Jungkook says, placing his weights back on the rack.

“Friends?” You scoff apprehensively, “So are we friends now?”

“I guess I should’ve let you injure your lower back then,” Jungkook replies, meeting your eyes in the mirror.

You can’t help the surprised laugh from escaping your lips.

“Have a good rest of your workout,” Jungkook says and doesn’t wait for your reply before turning around and walking back to the locker rooms. 

He leaves the gym the same way he entered, casting a gaze over you as you bend over to pick up your weights on the mat in front of you. Jungkook looks away quickly, ignoring the heat in his cheeks.

***

Home is your grandma’s cottage, in between Seoul and Incheon. It’s closer to Incheon than it is to Seoul, but it’s still not terribly far from work. 

Home has been your grandma’s cottage since your Appa passed away. Even before. The pale green walls and the seemingly random scattering of plants have always reminded you of that familiar, cozy feeling that comes with home. Many of your best memories are in this cottage.

After you shower, cleanse, tone, and moisturize your skin, and change into a sweater and shorts, you head downstairs to see if your grandma has returned from her evening walk with her friends.

“How was your walk, grandma?” You ask, heading into the kitchen to see what to warm up for dinner.

“It’s getting colder,” She says, rubbing her hands close together.

“Where’s your scarf?” You chastise gently, encasing her hands in yours, “Go change into something warm. I’ll set the table.”

Grandma gives you a smile, her eyes bright and identical to your Appa’s eyes. And your eyes. You had never met your mother as far as you can remember, but you think that there’s hardly a trace of her in you. You’re close to the spitting image of your grandmother from when she was younger.

She comes downstairs in one of your Appa’s old sweaters and flannel pants, looking warmed up. You wordlessly hand her a glass of water and curl into yourself on the chair.

“You came home late,” She says, scooping food onto her plate.

“Been working out a few times a week, remember?” You reply after a mouthful of rice and wipe the corner of your lips.

Grandma rolls her eyes at you and you grin sheepishly.

“Maybe you’ll meet a nice boy at the gym. Or a girl. Ji-yoo told me that her grandson’s friend’s sister met someone at the gym-”

“Grandma!” You whine, “Really?”

“Well, you have Seokjin right there. But you refuse to date him,” She says pointedly, giving you a teasing smile.

Grandma loves Seokjin, a fact that she’s never hidden from you. From the first time you had introduced Seokjin to her, she had been relentless in telling you that he was your soulmate. 

Maybe your platonic soulmate. But not your soulmate in the romantic sense. He knows everything about you, and you know everything about him.

You had never told her that in college after a night out that you were both too sober for, you had tried hooking up. Just to see what it would be like. You were both lonely, and wondering if your close friendship could or should be something more. His lips had touched yours for all of five seconds, his tongue slipping into your mouth quickly and then you had both pulled away instantly. It was too weird, and you both had burst into laughter right after. Seokjin had been your first kiss, but as weird as it was- you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

“Oh, stop it, that ship has long sailed,” You wave her off.

“You know him more than married couples know each other.”

“I can’t marry him. He’s my only friend, I’ll lose him if I marry him,” You joke but your grandma’s eyes turn sad at your words.

“Maybe if you let yourself accept love, you’d have it. You’d have that, instead of having to hang out with your grandma on Friday nights.”

Appa used to always say that your sarcasm had been an inherited trait from your grandma. And it had apparently skipped over him.

“And what do you know about Friday nights?”

“I was young once. I met your grandfather on a Friday night,” Grandma says knowingly, with a bold wink.

“He swept you off of your feet,” You say, “Somethings are just meant to be.”

“Yes,” She says fondly, “They are.”

You both eat in silence, you noisily shovel rice and vegetables into your mouth and Grandma watches you fondly.

“I met a kid from school at work,” You say off-handedly, “I mean, I didn’t just meet him. He’s been working with us for two months.”

“School?” Grandma raises an eyebrow. You talking about school is rare.

“Yeah. I used to mentor him. Before… before I left and before Appa died,” You say bluntly, trying to keep your voice even.

Grandma’s eyes grow even softer when she catches the hitch in your breath. 

“What’s his name?”

“Jeon Jungkook. He only just graduated and he’s got a position two fuckin’ levels higher than me! Two!” You groan in exasperation, “I hate that guy. What does he have that I don’t?”

“A dick,” Your grandma says wryly and you burst into laughter.

“Yeah, pretty much. We’re on a big project together, so I’ll have to deal with him. Sometimes when I see him, it just… makes me so mad. He’s fresh out of school and landed such a great position. Meanwhile, I’ve given them everything and they won’t even fuckin’ promote me. God. I hate them and I hate him, too,” You rant, crossing your arms across your chest petulantly.

Grandma only gives you a small, all-knowing smile.

“I’m sorry, honey. You deserve better,” She offers.

You sigh and rub the side of your face tiredly.

“Yeah. I know.”

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Speaking about disability in fiction, would you say Toph from a:tla is one of the best written disabled character? Is there anything that could've been improved about her character?

DEAR FUCKING GOD do I love Toph.  I would humbly submit to have Lady Toph “The Blind Bandit” “The Runaway” “Greatest Earthbender of All Time” “Inventor of Metalbending” Beifong harvest my organs to achieve eternal life if such a thing were possible.  There are a ton of things that Avatar: the Last Airbender does really well when characterizing Toph, and a few I wish they’d done differently.  [PLEASE NOTE: I am nondisabled, so if I err, please tell me so.]

Is she one of the best-written disabled characters?

She’s certainly a damn cool character whose disability informs but does not define her.  I can’t really say if she’s “the best” or one of, because I haven’t read everything, but I can say that I really like her.

First of all, her story is intersectional AS FUCK.  Toph’s gender, her disability, and her social class are so inextricably linked that there’s no analyzing any single element in a vacuum.  She’s all about being tough and independent.  Partially that’s about being underestimated because of her disability.  Partially that’s about being commodified because of her gender.  Partially that’s about being privileged due to her upper-class upbringing.  All three interact to inform her identity.

“Tales of Ba Sing Se” shows that blindness bars Toph from certain aspects of femininity — she can’t perform the traditional motions of making herself up, attracting young men, being pretty and delicate — which causes her to embrace a more accessible masculine identity.  “The Runaway” shows that Toph enjoys femininity as well as masculinity, but that she struggles to build nurturing relationships when she’s concerned with appearing weak, and that that sometimes leads her to cross ethical boundaries.  “The Chase” and “Bitter Work” are all about how Toph values her independence above all else — because she’s had to struggle against her gender and disability influencing others’ perceptions, but also because she’s had the privilege to avoid helping others due to her social class.  In “The Ember Island Players” she loves being represented by a big tough strong man, but she also clearly associates masculinity with power in a way that becomes troubling when contrasted with Aang’s horror at being played by a woman.  Etcetera.

Even the whole Earth Kingdom’s role as a sort of middle rung of imperialism – less powerful than the Fire Nation, more powerful than the Water Tribes and Air Nomads — informs both the relative strictness of its gender roles and the ability of individual Earth citizens to subvert those roles.  Toph’s identity, like the identities of the other Avatar characters, is inextricably linked to her position in society.

Secondly, Toph has a lot of the features of a complex and agentic character, and her disability is neither ignored nor centralized.  She’s often right, as when she becomes the first person to trust Zuko and the only person capable of making Aang an earthbender.  She’s often wrong, as when she tries to justify theft with a “they started it” argument or belittles Sokka for being a non-bender.  She’s often somewhere in between, as when she chooses to let Appa get taken by sandbenders in order to protect her friends or gets into screaming matches with Katara over matters of procedure.

There’s also the fact that Toph interacts with certain environments differently based on her blindness, drawing attention to (in)accessible aspects of those environments the others wouldn’t have necessarily noticed.  She finds sand and wood flooring inconvenient, she hates navigating water and ice, and she initially avoids walking on metal.  Although she’s not a big fan of flying, she mostly adapts as long as her friends actually remember that she can’t navigate when they’re on Appa’s saddle.

When conflicts do occur with the environment, Toph puts the onus on the environments and on other people to adapt or help her to adapt.  She’s amused and annoyed when Sokka tries to fake correspondence between her and Katara, or stupidly asks why she doesn’t like libraries.  She rips the bottoms off of her shoes.  She calls attention to her inability to do things like scan the ground while flying when her friends are at risk of forgetting.  She plays into others’ assumptions to try and get onto ferries or get away with breaking the law.

Another thing I like: the art style for Toph avoids the trap of “draw sighted person, change eye color, call it a day.”  She doesn’t turn to face people most of the time when she’s talking to them, but also doesn’t seem totally clueless as to their relative locations.  She gets the lay of the land by stomping her feet or pressing a hand against the ground, not turning to “look” in various directions.  She doesn’t bother to keep her hair from blocking her eyes, because her bangs don’t interrupt any sight lines.  She’s neither a comically blind character who apparently can’t navigate at all with sound or touch, nor a dramatic “blind” character whose every action comes off as those of a sighted character.  Toph repeatedly mentions that she doesn’t get the value in sight, clapping back at the assumption that of course she’d want to be nondisabled.

[Image description: A screenshot from “The Chase,” which shows Toph shouting at Katara, with her face turned away from Katara.  Toph is pointing in anger, making it clear that she’s addressing Katara and that she knows Katara’s location relative to herself based on Katara’s voice.]

One last small but important victory for Avatar: it passes the Fries Test.  It has two or more disabled characters — I can explain why Zuko counts as disabled if anyone’s not sure — who survive to the end of the story without being cured, and who have their own narratives rather than existing primarily to educate nondisabled characters.  As a bonus, they have at least one conversation with each other about something that isn’t disability-related.  The Fries Test is meant to be a minimum standard for representation, much like the Bechdel Test, but it’s still nice to know that Avatar passes.

[Image description: A screenshot from “The Ember Island Players,” which shows Zuko and Toph sitting on the floor in a hallway of the theater, talking about the play and about Zuko’s uncle.]

Is there anything that could’ve been improved about her character?

If I ruled the world, or at least the Avatar writers’ room, I’d start with two changes.  One’s small-ish, one’s big and controversial.

The small-ish change: tweak Toph’s narrative to make her earthbending super-abilities less directly counter to her blindness.  As it is, she has shades of a superpowered supercrip: a disabled character from SF whose superpower primarily acts to nullify their disability, thereby giving them the lived experience of a nondisabled person for most or all of the narrative.  Toph is definitely not an egregious example — she’s not Daredevil, who can use his superpowers to read handwritten papers, navigate unfamiliar environments, “feel” colors, detect tiny gestures, and shoot guns.  She does embody experiences with blindness like disorientation when flying and frustration with hanging posters.  She just also has several instances of not experiencing blindness when she (as she puts it) “sees with earthbending.”  I’m not sure what that tweak would look like, precisely, but I’d like to see one all the same.

The bigger change: I’d cast a different voice actor.  Jessie Flower is, based on what little I can find on Wikipedia or IMDB, not blind or visually disabled.  Disability rights activists are right now fighting hard against the trend of “cripping up,” wherein nondisabled actors use mimicry or makeup to pretend to have disabilities on TV and in the movies.  Avatar doesn’t go that far, because it doesn’t have Jessie Flower onscreen in (for instance) contacts that mimic blindness.  However, it nevertheless does not cast a blind actor for the role.  The issue here is that disabled actors are almost never allowed to play nondisabled roles… and disabled actors are also almost never allowed to play disabled roles either.  By failing to find a blind voice actor, the show denied that opportunity to a less-privileged talent.

The Guardian compares the issue to the way that cis actors of the wrong gender are too-often cast in trans roles, men used to play female characters onstage, and white actors used to play black characters in American movies.  I never know how much those comparisons make sense, because among other things they completely ignore intersections of those identities.  But I also think that it’s sometimes the best way to help people understand why excuses like “but it’s haaaaaaarrd to find blind female actors of Asian descent” don’t hold water.

And here’s where I go from “slightly controversial” to “extremely controversial” and might have to enter Witness Protection.  Avatar is getting a live-action adaptation in a few months.  I predict that it will cast a nondisabled actor to play Toph.  And I predict that the same voices which (rightly!) raised such a cry against “racebent” white actors playing Aang and Katara will be completely silent on the topic of “abilitybent” actors playing Zuko and Toph.  I’m saying this on Tumblr partially to get this statement out there:

I am an Avatar: the Last Airbender fan who will ONLY support the live-action show if it casts disabled actors to play disabled characters.

I’m saying it partially because I hope to be proven wrong, either because a blind actress will be cast as live-action Toph or at the very least because Avatar fans will object when a sighted actress is cast.  I’m also saying it because I think that fans can and should protest responsibly when marginalized voices are erased by beloved works of fiction.  Will casting a blind actress require more “work” to make the set accessible?  Probably.  Will casting a blind actress perhaps necessitate more CGI for fight scenes than using a sighted one?  Maybe.  Will it be worth it to cast a blind actress anyway, so that a girl with the lived experience of Toph can portray her on screen and actually get the chance to break into an industry that bars most blind girls from participating?  YES.

[dreamsmp-megaritz]

my problems with the tone of post-season-1 Dream SMP

Here are some things I often see in Dream SMP post-season-1, which I do not see so much in season 1. Take all of this with a grain of salt, in light of how (1) I am not nearly as familiar with the seasons 2&3 material as I am with season 1 material (so there may be some or many parts of seasons 2&3 which do not have these problems, and which I am failing to give due credit to), and (2) I often cannot pin down why I feel differently about season 1 than about seasons 2&3, so I am not certain how much of my claims stem from objective differences between them vs. subjective biases on my part.

I hope this post can present some topics of further discussion, investigation, friendly debate, and/or analysis.

--

Problem #1. Excessive emphasis on making a clear distinction between “canon” and “non-canon.”

It seems that now players often talking about “canonically” doing X and “not canonically” doing Y. I don’t like this much. Back in season 1, people almost never used the word “canonically.” The line was blurrier, and I liked that better. This is a block-game role-play, and given this format, there are many features of the story which really cannot be pinned down with much precision.

As one example (among many), L’Manberg was a “nation” but it also seems to have consisted of only a few people. There’s arguably no way to make much sense of this within any tightly defined “canon,” and I think it’s good that the story has not tried much to do so. The canon should remain loose in some ways.

The blurriness of the canon/non-canon distinction is also good for the intertextual elements discussed in @lucemferto’s video about Philza (which is fantastic, and I highly recommend watching it). This sort of intertextuality is one of my favorite things about Dream SMP-- and I have my own theories as well, which I will write about at a later time-- but I suspect some of these cool elements may require keeping the canon/non-canon distinction at least somewhat blurry.

Of course, I totally grant there is a need for a "role-playing / not role-playing” distinction, or something along these lines. Many of the characters dislike each other in the story, but are friends in real life. Occasionally some of the younger fans get confused about this, and will become angry at content-creators under the false impression that the content-creators are mistreating each other. I fully recognize that some kind of explicit distinction is needed in order to avert these confusions, and to keep everyone on the same page of realizing it’s all in good fun. But the necessary distinction should be sensitive to the loosey-goosey nature of the storytelling format.

Back in season 1, I think content-creators would often correct young viewers’ confusion by saying “It’s a bit” i.e. a skit or game (rather than using words like “canon”). I like this “bit” terminology, because it seems appropriately loose-- instead of using the word “canonically” which seems inappropriately strict.

(Admittedly the term “bit” may be more appropriate to the very early period where there was little to no scripting. I’ll briefly return to the “scripting vs. improvising” distinction a few times. It is related to these other distinctions, but not identical to them.)

--

Problem #2. Some dialogue scenes are too long.

Let’s take a bunch of the one-on-one scenes between Dream in prison talking to other characters such as TommyInnit, like in this VOD and following ones. These scenes involve a lot of interesting story details, but they go on for a frankly very long time. To me they feel incredibly drawn out. They’d be better at half the length. They seem to have a lot of needless repetition, among other issues.

I’m not certain of the cause of the problem, but it seems to be stemming partially from the particular kind of combination of scripting and improvising which they involve. It isn’t always a great combination. It’s like the players have a checklist of story points to cover, but they aren’t sure how to pull it off in a way that sounds natural without taking too long.

I’m not sure how to solve it. Scripting the dialogue more thoroughly might help make them more concise-- but at the cost of sounding less natural, and losing the charm which Dream SMP’s improvisation often holds.

But further analysis would be needed to say exactly how or why the problem is happening. And not everyone might agree me that it’s happening at all. So I’ll be curious to hear other people’s assessments of the problem (if there is one) and what’s causing it.

In any case, I’ll contrast it to season 1. I believe season 1 did not have many scenes that dragged out for a long time. Season 1 has serious moments as well, and it has dramatic weight. But it does not often have the feeling of dragged out scenes. Again I think further analysis is needed to figure out whether I’m right about this or not-- and if I’m right, further analysis will be needed to figure out why the seasons feel so different, because I can’t really say for sure or in detail why it feels this way. So again I’m curious what other people will think about this.

--

Problem #3. Too serious.

This problem seems to be part of the cause of the first two problems. Excessive seriousness may contribute to dragged-out scenes which aren’t fun to watch, and it may contribute to taking the “canon vs. non-canon” distinction too seriously, with an excess tendency to put “serious” stuff on the “canon” side of the divide and put “non-serious” stuff on the “non-canon” side of the divide.

In any case, the storyline after season 1, or at least some parts of it (probably not other parts), seem to have a puffed up air of “seriousness” which really feels off to me.

This does not mean it never succeeds at being serious in the right way. For instance I think serious parts of the Quackity VOD “Quackity Visits Dream in Prison” actually work very well-- even the one-on-one scene between Quackity and Dream, which is one of the best prison scenes. Crucially, this specific prison scene does not seem to have the problems that I’ve complained about for other prison scenes, or at least not nearly as severely. But a lot of seasons 2 and 3, from what I’ve seen of them, appear to have the problem of feeling like they’re “trying too hard” to be taken seriously, and it doesn’t work for me.

Another strength of that Quackity VOD is that the scene with Schlatt at the afterlife gym had a combination of seriousness and levity which I thought was very strong. Whatever one may think of Schlatt’s style of comedy outside DSMP (i’m aware of the myriad controversies), I think Schlatt is incredibly skillful at pulling off an effective combination of seriousness and levity, and I think his chemistry tends to enhance other players’ ability to pull it off too.

And to be clear, season 1 has serious moments as well. But the mixture of seriousness and levity in season 1 seems stronger to me. When Schlatt wins the election, this is a dramatic moment, but it also seems to have a degree of campiness which makes it work well. When Wilbur goes through various scenes of planning to blow up Manberg, this is dramatic and a serious character arc in some ways, but it does not seem to me that it has the air of over-seriousness which parts of seasons 2 and onward seem to have.

However, I can’t really articulate why this is. Some of it may be a nostalgic bias toward the earlier material, and/or the fact that the earlier material had more novelty. And I was in a very particular kind of emotional place when I watched a lot of season 1, due to the pandemic and various other factors, which has strongly impacted how I feel about it today.

However, I think this does not account for everything. I maintain that, most likely, there are also objective differences between the seasons in their style or tone, even though I cannot really pin down what they are in detail or with much assurance.

I also want to add another disclaimer that I’m not sure how consistent this is. For instance, there are plots like the Butcher Army where I simply haven’t watched enough to get a sense of how serious or non-serious it comes across as.

--

Possible diagnoses?

There may be a bunch of possibilities for what causes these issues, but for now I only have the faintest speculations.

One possibility is that seasons 2&3 are more scripted, whereas season 1 was more improvised. This would explain some of the issues, if true. However, I am not sure whether it is actually true that seasons 2&3 are more scripted than season 1.

I can’t find citations offhand right now, but I recall Schlatt once said (at least a lot of) season 1 was heavily scripted, and I think that Wilbur once said season 2 is not as scripted as many people think it is. Now, I grant Schlatt and Wilbur may be using different standards of what counts as “heavily scripted,” and it’s not clear to me whether they agree or not. So there may be some ambiguity. But in any case, the combination of these two statements leads me to think season 2 is probably not significantly more scripted than season 1. And if that’s true, then the degree of scripting is not the key to understanding the problems.

Another possibility is that the difference stems from whether Wilbur or someone else is the main writer. This is most likely a big part of it. However, I am not sure of the details, as I have not researched it enough. I also do not know whether Wilbur has returned to being the lead writer yet (as of late March 2021), or if that is still upcoming.

[baddyzarc]

4b/7 Ruins: Legend of the Dragons

1 2 3 4a x 5 6 7  

Part 2 of Mizael’s Ruins

Alright, I’m going to get into some deep lore in regards to the Zexal Universe and how Jinlon and Mizael and even Kaito fit into it.

To begin, the Universe was created by the Numeron Dragon eons ago. By doing this, the dragon used all of its power and will die as a result. Sad that it will never be able to witness its creation grow (which, you aint missing much, buddy), it shedded a single tear. This teardrop contained the Numeron Code, or the dragon’s knowledge, emotions, and the ability to rewrite the Universe. The Numeron Code landed on Earth. In the Zexal Universe, this was the event that created the Moon, which is also where the remaining fragments of the Numeron Dragon (in the form of “Number 100: Numeron Dragon’’) reside. Fearing that it’s powers would be used for evil, the Numeron Dragon hid the Code and placed a key on it.

According to Astral, the location of the Numeron Code is revealed when Numbers 1 to Numbers 100 is collected because of how it relates to his memory. But this causes some problems when it comes to the plot, but I’ll explain that later.

To awaken the sealed Numeron Dragon and obtain “Number 100″, the Numeron Dragon embedded a riddle into a stone tablet that Kaito found in the cave near Mizael’s ruins:

“Dragons of light and time, clash at thy place of birth. Then shall the eyes of the galaxies awaken for the first time, opening a gate to a new world.”

This riddle is rather straight-forward especially with the imagery used. The time dragon is “Number 107: Galaxy-Eyes Tachyon Dragon” and the light dragon is “Number 62: Galaxy-Eyes Prime Photon Dragon”. The place where they clash is the Moon (this is given to us via Jinlon), and the “eyes of the galaxies” is not the eyes of the Galaxy-Eyes Dragons, but of the Numeron Dragon itself.

By fulfilling the conditions of the riddle, the Numeron Dragon is able to reawaken for a brief moment to fix whatever shit its children got themselves into “open the gates to a new world”. I take that this means it grants the usage of the Numeron Code upon the winner. 

But the phrase that interests me is “clash at thy place of birth”. 

Now, this states that Tachyon Dragon and Photon Dragon were created on the surface of the Moon and they need to fight to awaken the Numeron Dragon. This may seem like an odd choice because we’re under the presumption that Tachyon Dragon was made by Don Thousand or that the Number Cards (including “Number 62: Galaxy-Eyes Prime Photon Dragon”) were made by Astral when his memories scattered. 

But I think you have to consider how the Moon was made in this show, what the dragons represent, and what the Numbers are.

Okay, to keep it simple, in real life 4.5 billion years ago, a huge rock crashed into Earth, pushing a bunch of debris into space. The debris conglomerate together over time to form the Moon; as such, the Moon is primarily made of Earthly materials. This is slightly different from Zexal’s story, with the Numeron Dragon’s teardrop playing the role of the huge rock. The outcome is more or less the same.

Alright, so from here, we can start to theorize about Photon Dragon and Tachyon Dragon’s relationship to the Moon, and how Dragluon plays into this. After all, Dragluon is one of the dragons of the stone tablet despite not having a place in the riddle.  

So what is the role of Dragloun exactly? And how did the Numeron Dragon anticipate the fight between the Barians and the Astrals (aside from being an omni-force). 

For starters, Dragluon goes all the way back to the “three worlds” that Zexal has.

The Three Worlds of Zexal is sorta like Heaven, Hell, and Earth. Heaven for Astral World, Hell for Barian World, and then Earth as the, well, the Earth. The land of the living where your actions decide your fate. 

However, from Don Thousand, we know that the Heaven and Hell bits aren’t true. Not exactly, but Barian World and Astral World appear to function like it. The actual descriptions for Astral and Barian World is a little simpler than Heaven and Hell.

Order and Disorder, Cosmos and Chaos, these are the true depictions of Astral and Barian World rather than Heaven and Hell (although it does have a very nice ring to it). And at the center of things is the middle man, a balance of both—Earth. You can’t have two sides of a coin without the edge, and the Earth is the glue connecting the opposing sides. And for the sake of simplifying this, I’m going to call the “power” of Earth as Parity. 

Parity is what happens when Chaos and Cosmos meet. This could be most easily seen in the Zexal Morphs, which are a combination of Astral, a creature of the Cosmos, and Yuma, who is confirmed to be a fragment of Don Thousand, of Chaos. Blues and Reds respectively.

I also want to note that the three primary colors are often associated with heroes, while secondary colors are often associated with villains (these are trends, not a concrete black-and-white concept). 

When Astral and Yuma work together, they glow the last and primary color, yellow, for their Zexal Morphs. But when they are in disequilibrium, they glow the secondary color purple (also the color you make when you mix red and blue). This shows that there could be a distinct relationship between how Chaos and Cosmos interact each other: the outcome could be very good and improves upon the characteristics of each. Or it could lead to relentless self-destruction.  

Of course, sometimes a door is red because it’s just red. Nasch’s main color is purple and Don Thousand’s final form has a yellowish glow, so perhaps all these colors have zero correlation to the characters at all. These are just some observations I made when it comes to depicting each world with their respective colors.

But this may be what the Numeron Dragon meant when it was afraid that the Numeron Code could fall into the wrong hands. Not Barians or Astrals specifically, but the people of the Cosmos or people of Chaos abusing the Code’s powers to wipe each other out. This is exactly what Eliphas wanted to do because he saw Chaos as impure and limiting as well as Don Thousand for about the same reason.

To prevent this travesty, the Numeron Dragon sealed the Numeron Code away with the final key to it being itself, or “Number 100: Numeron Dragon”.

“Thy place of birth” may not mean that the dragons were literally born on the surface of the Moon, but it may mean that the impact that made the Moon also led to the creation of Chaos and Cosmos and Parity. By extension, this is where the dragons were truly born. Think of it as a stardust type of thing. Yeah, we humans are born on Earth probably by another human, but our atoms and molecules and elements? Those were made up in space. Tachyon Dragon was made by Don Thousand, but the Chaos he used to forge Tachyon Dragon was made on the Moon.

But onto the Numbers since all the dragons are Numbers and they get complicated so bear with me.

Okey, disclaimer and anyone is welcome to challenge my stance on what exactly Numbers are because they are absolutely limitless. We have Astral’s memory Numbers, Over-Hundred Numbers, those bug Barians Numbers, Imaginary Numbers, Mythyrian Numbers, Chaos Numbers made by Shark, Yuma, the Arclights, maybe Number XX yeah that guy remember him,,, 

and the only explanation we get for them is that they amplify emotions and take on the form of the beholder’s desires. At least, the first 100 Numbers do. Anyways please do, I like reading interpretations on what these things are. 

So I’m going to try to explain how I see it. 

My first statement is that Numbers are not a direct product of the Astrals ot Astral. My guess is that Numbers are a general manifestation of power made with either Chaos, Cosmos, or Parity. The Original 100 (aka Astral’s Memory Numbers) is made by the Numeron Dragon, as opposed to the ones made Don Thousand, for example. This explains why the Numeron Dragon is “Number 100”. If it is included as one of Astral’s memories, it’s kinda blasphemous ngl. 

My conclusion came from a certain flaw in the show’s logic (which is fine bc its yugioh but im trying to knot things together here). The show states that Astral knows where the Numeron Code is, so when his memories got scattered, the location scattered with it in the form of the Numbers. However, it is never stated how Astral knows its location. Like, who told him that? Eliphas? The only creature that should know is the Numeron Dragon, and it’s dead. A possible explanation is that the Numeron Dragon placed the coordinates of the Numeron Code in the first 100 Numbers, and since Astral had the Numbers, he knew where it was. 

But yet, why are the Numbers so dangerous if they were made by a benevolent God? They’re made by a God, for starters. They’re supposed to be ultra powerful and unfit for mortal hands. 

And if the Numbers lead to the Numeron Code, it may be that the Numeron Dragon didn’t want someone who couldn’t handle the 100 Numbers to be handling the all-powerful source code. 

We also know that the Numbers tend to absorb a handful of stuff. The Mythyrian Numbers took in the Guardians and “Number 96: Black Mist” had a piece of Don Thousand stuck on it. It is likely that the Numbers absorbed Astral’s memories, so when they scattered, they took his memories with them rather than the other way around.

Furthermore, Astral’s Airship is kinda of an enigma. Like, what is it? Who built it? Why can it do things like store all 100 Numbers as well as track down certain Numbers. If the Numbers are just Astral’s memories, how are they able to fit into the slots on the Airship, which isn’t part of Astral memories?

To go along with the Numbers being separate from Astral, it’s easy to say the Astral World built the Airship to harness the Numbers’ powers and knowledge. So it is likely that the mechanism behind the Airship was how Astral was going to find Numeron Code.

But simply put, Astral World probably collected most of the first 100 Numbers before the Barians did, created Astral and the Airship using the Numbers with the goal of fighting Don Thousand or going to Earth to find the Numeron Code so they could wipe out Barian World. Kinda like Silvally but he kills Barians. His original battle with Don Thousand and Kazuma’s meddling caused Astral to lose all the Number Cards he had (and since his only purpose and identity is tied to the Numbers, he lost all of his memories as well), allowing the Barians to scramble in to try to collect them before the Astrals can. This is why some Numbers were in the hands of the Barians, like “Numbers 80: Madness-Draped Supreme King - Rhapsody in Berserk” and “Numbers 58: Flame Pressure Demon - Burner Visor”

The Number Cards do not belong to either party; it just happened that Astral World managed to get them and use their powers first. This becomes important when we talk about Jinlon later.

The biggest plot hole that I can pick up is because of “Number 100: Numeron Dragon”. Astral definitely should not have that one. Astral might’ve gotten 99 at the very most, then lost the Mythyrians, Numeron Gates, and some other cards to Don Thousand, then the rest when he crashed into Yuma. 

It is possible that he never had all 100 Numbers, but who knows.

But back to the dragons:

“Number 100: Numeron Dragon″ can only be obtained when the “dragons of light and time clash” fight each other on the Moon. 

Mizael said that since the condition requires a Barian (or a Chaos) dragon, then the Numeron Code belongs to the Barians. 

And he’s about half right. The condition does requires a Chaos dragon, but I say that it also requires a Cosmos dragon and a Parity Dragon as well.

Cosmos and Chaos took shape in the form of Photon Dragon and Tachyon Dragon. Tachyon Dragon is obviously a creature born from the powers of Chaos while Photon Dragon is harder to pick up, but it is directly stated that it uses the power of the Astrals, or Cosmos.

And why as dragons? Ehh The Numeron Dragon is a dragon, and what better way than to battle in the image of the Creator. (also dragons are sick af)

The most peculiar concept is that the last Number can only be accessed when the Cosmos and Chaos are actively fighting against each other, and it’s strange to think that the Numeron Dragon would set up the situation where the strongest object in the Universe can only be achieved through war. 

But this is exactly where Dragluon, Jinlon, and Parity fit into this legend.

Dragluon (and Jinlon by association) are the representatives for Parity. 

Dragluon is often represented with the yellow colors of Earth in a similar manner of base-form Photon Dragon using the blues of Astral World or base-form Tachyon Dragon using the reds of Barian World. These are the three dragons representing the Three Worlds.

Unlike the other two, Jinlon/Dragluon is like a neutral observer. He is the balance sitting between Kaito and Mizael to watch the battle unfold and judge it.

It isn’t a coincidence that Dragluon is one of the dragons required to awaken the powers of the Numeron Dragon. If the dragon representing the balance between the two other worlds was not present to witness the battle, it is unlikely that the last Number would reveal itself, thus locking access to the key and Numeron Code. 

Also, the Moon itself is composed mainly of Earthly materials. Since the Earth is represented as Parity, the Moon is a neutral ground for the clash between Chaos and Cosmos. It does not favor the victory of one or the other (Jinlon got involved in the duel to awaken Mizael’s true memories, but other than that, he did not interrupt the flow of the duel between the Galaxy-Eyes. Mizael’s resolve as a Barian Emperor did not change with this encounter). 

Although situational, the presence of Parity also explains certain phenomenons that occurrs in areas where it’s presence is the strongest, particularly at Mizael’s ruins/Dragluon’s home and the Moon. Astral’s ship stopped working, Orbital 7 (whose energy supply runs on Barianite) couldn’t function properly, and Mizael cannot tap into his Barian powers.

The Moon appears to have the same effect on the characters until they enter the battle-zone, where the clashing parties are allowed to fight. Parity neutralizes the effects of Cosmos and Chaos. 

As to why Jinlon ascended into the role as the Mythyrian Number and the representative for Parity, I have a small theory for that. 

Jinlon is a divine dragon who is much older than the show made him out to be. I reckon that he was one of the first life made by the Numeron Dragon (image of god, you know) and he stated that he witnessed the original battle between Astral and Don Thousand. 

His choice of wording here is telling. He shows obvious disdain towards the war on both sides, and I think this intensified after his encounter with Mizael. 

Going back to the origins of Mizael, I want to talk about the colors of the Three Worlds once more. Now, I truly do not know if this is intentional, but the flashback to Mizael’s childhood has heavy usage of the blue, red, and yellow color palette.    

When Mizael fled from the massacred village, the village lighted up due to the flames burning his home to the ground down while the surrounding sand was blue due to the darkness of the night. In this sense, Mizael is running from the source of his anger and sadness into freedom and safety, or from disorder to order. But the deeper he went in, the desert proved to not be the safe place he desired. The desert shifted between the intense Barian reds and Astral blues as Mizael transversed the landscape. 

And Mizael was dying during these scenes. It’s almost as though he’s being persuaded into two worlds; either ascend with grief to become a Barian, or let it all go to become an Astral. 

It was Jinlon who came to save Mizael. Like, I feel like I’m repeating myself a lot, but Jinlon appeared to Mizael with the colors of Parity. He engulfed Mizael in it and prevented him from entering either of the worlds too soon. Jinlon is a being who exists outside of Barian and Astral World’s conflicts. 

This is why he became Dragluon. Jinlon is already a creature of Parity with or without his association to Dragluon, and thus his death and closeness to the Mythyrian Number + Mizael resulted in his attachment to “Number 46: Ethereal Dragon Dragluon”, the ultimate dragon representing Parity. 

To that whole bit with the Astral’s Numbers, this is why Dragluon being made from Astral’s memories, as well as the other stuff I stated, doesn’t make much sense. (Maybe without the meddling of Don Thousand, instead of becoming an Astral when he died, Mizael may have shared a fate similar to Jinlon and been reborn as a creature of Parity given how often he is associated with the yellow colors. Maybe, just thinking).

As a neutral force, Jinlon leads the dragon-tamers down what they think is the correct path for the future. 

Aside from being convenient to the plot, Jinlon spends time with Kaito and Mizael. And likewise, Mizael and Kaito are characters who tether dangerously close to the line between Cosmos and Chaos. Kaito starts off as a heartless, cold killer, after all, and Mizael is strange for an antagonist; even going as far as fighting Don Thousand, the actual villain of the show (but most of the barians are like this for a reason that I’ll explain once I get to Vector). Although Mizael is massively arrogant and despises humans, he also commended the Arclights for sacrificing themselves, and he puts his true heart and loyalty out for the Barians. To add onto this, after acquiring his true memories, Mizael is adamant that he is still a creature of Chaos, and so he fights for Barian World despite his past leading him to be an Astral.

Yes, this isn’t a single case either. Alito was the first to recognize his past as a true Astral, yet he continues to fight for Barian World. Nasch is the strongest case for this, as he willingly chose to be a Barian. Chaos is not synonymous with evil. 

But back to Mizael. Mizael is someone who is dead-set on being a Barian no matter the circumstance. He fights for Barian World from what he knows of that world. He knows that his people aren’t evil (look, Barian World got Iris, alright) and he knows that Barian World is where his cherished allies and companions live. He lived as a Barian Emperor for possibly thousands of years. His commitment and love for dragons is also his most commendable trait. Mizael is a man who puts his trust in dragons, good or bad. Despite being a creature of Chaos, he also bears certain Cosmos traits. 

The same could be said for Kaito too. Kaito is supposed to be of the Cosmos as indicated by his usage of Prime Photon Dragon, yet his passion is much weaker than Mizael. Bluntly put, Kaito is selfish. The show states this. He uses Photon Dragon not out of respect for dragons but because it ended up being the easiest path to save Haruto and Dr. Faker. He lacks the heart that would make him a true Astral. 

The characters change. 

Mizael sheds a tear for an enemy, a repulsive human of all things, and Kaito wants them to meet again one day not as enemies but as friends. 

They represent both worlds, but they can meet in the middle too.

This nuisance is why I think Jinlon exists as the creature guiding them towards this fight. He brings out the Parity between Cosmos and Chaos. He not only finds two souls that represent both worlds, but also how both worlds can intermix. 

And hey, Kaito won the Moon Duel, essentially winning the future for Astral World. But it was Mizael who made it out alive. In a way, there was no true winner of the Moon Duel.

I wanna get back to this image right here.  

I could talk about how Tachyon Dragon is based on tachyon particles, which are hypothetical particles faster than light, and how Photon Dragon represents light through photon particles, or how Dragluon is based off of gluons, the elementary exchange particles that are essential for the force binding neutrons and protons together, the atoms that make matter and life possible.

But you know um. I’m actually not that smart and am not qualified to talk about those relationships.

Yet, I think it’s telling that the three dragons representing the Three Worlds emit a yellow glow as they awaken the Numeron Dragon.

When the Numeron Dragon made the Universe and the Numeron Code, it did not want a clash between Cosmos and Chaos to see who deserves to survive. It didn’t want its creations to destroy each other. It wanted them to clash on the Moon so they can prove that despite the war, despite the hatred, despite the meddling, both sides are capable of finding Parity, that peace is possible between them, that Kaito and Mizael can meet eye-to-eye and sympathize with each other.  The dragons were no longer fighting as Cosmos or Chaos but as Parity.

The Numeron Dragon will only grant access to the Numeron Code to the persons that are worthy of it. In the end, Mizael and Kaito were both worthy of obtaining “Number 100: Numeron Dragon” because they proved themselves as people capable of Parity. 

Call me a dreamer, but I think that’s why the final fight belongs to the characters that represent the Three Worlds. Nasch of the Barians, Kaito who wields the power of the Astrals, and not Yuma or Astral but Zexal III, the strongest combination of Chaos and Cosmos. 

These three worlds are able to work together to defeat Don Thousand, a person who would’ve used the Numeron Code for only destruction and personal gain. 

Kaito and Zexal III (although I’m not sure if this is different from Yuma and Astral as individuals, ceremonial duel and all) is explanatory in their stance on Parity, but Nasch is the outlier since he would’ve used the Numeron Code to destroy Astral World, or maybe he has some other motive if he had won the duel. Nasch saw the destruction of Astral World as a necessary evil for the survival of Barian World, but he also seemed okay with losing. It’s possible that he might’ve found a different way for all worlds to coexist had he won. So does the duel with Nasch afterwards ruin the duel with Don Thousand? Who knows. That depends on what value you see from that duel. 

(And not to get into a rant, but part of me wished the final boss was a Dark-Zexal-esque Morph between Eliphas and Don Thousand, the corrupted combination of two Gods with selfish intents fighting against Nasch, Zexal III, and Kaito. Like mmmm) 

I derailed quite a bit from talking about Jinlon and Mizael and the Ruins, but I find it so fascinating how much these two characters reveal about the world of Zexal.

[ayuyikes]

Secret Admirer (4/?)

Part 1 part 2 part 3

Sorry I’m on vacation right now and this ones a bit long so it took a while ^^;

Enjoy!

———————

When they came back to the classroom, Claude sighed. “Well, I didn’t see any odd reactions aside from when Dorothea complimented your earrings. Did you see anything, Teach?”

She shook her head. She did see a few odd looks, sure...

But for some reason they seemed to be aimed more towards Claude than towards her.

He ran a hand through his hair. “Well, I guess we will just have to wait for the next gift. I don’t suppose your ring size is common knowledge, eh Teach?”

It was teasing, but the thought of being gifted a ring made her mind go blank.

“Teach?”

He was still beside her, looking a little worried when she didn’t outright respond, but she snapped herself out of it and muttered, “He better not be getting me a ring.”

“What would you suggest he got you, then?” He asked, as nonchalantly as he could.

That made her silent. “I don’t know,” she eventually settled on. “I’m not really one for gifts. I would be happy receiving anything.”

“Well, sure, but he seems set on impressing you, isn’t he? What would you like to get?”

Why couldn’t she shake the feeling that he was inquiring what to get her?

Should she even answer that? What if he...

No, he wouldn’t give himself away giving her a gift she suggested herself, though. He’s too cunning for that.

She met his expectant eyes. “I would appreciate thoughtful gifts, not necessarily expensive ones. A box of my favorite tea would already be a welcome surprise, really.”

He hummed in understanding. “So you’re a secret sap, Professor.”

“Perhaps.”

He grinned. “Let’s hope your admirer knows you well, then.”

Ah. Watching him smile made her realize that every moment they spent together after she got the bracelet she slowly got more certain that he might be the culprit. She was terrified of it being wishful thinking. They have been pretty close so far, even if he was her student... she never had someone as close and dear to her as he was. Not like this.

But even taking status and the taboo of their situation out of consideration, she knew that if she ever wanted to confront him about it she’d need evidence or he’d duck out of questioning. So she sighed. Two can play this game.

“I just wish I had more of a lead,” she said, trying to sound disappointed. Of course it still came out a little flat, but Claude seemed to take notice anyway.

“You really want to know, huh?”

“I don’t know what to make of this,” she admits, the statement holding more truth than she’d like. “Such expensive gifts- they’re a little overwhelming, if I’m honest.”

“Especially not knowing where they came from... what if they expect something from me?”

“People can’t expect something for just being nice,” Claude said, looking surprisingly serious. “If they do, they’re terrible people.”

“Even so... I don’t know them at all. What if they keep giving me expensive things to buy my affection?”

He seemed to think it over for longer than anticipated. “Well, if it makes you uncomfortable, we should scare him off then, right?”

“I’m not that uncomfortable,” she said after the thought popped into her mind that she might’ve scared _him_ off entirely. “I just- knowing who it came from would already ease my worries.”

“Hmm how about...” he put his hand to his chin, “We put a message to your mystery lover on the bulletin board? Perhaps he’d be willing to throw us a bone?”

“It would be a risky move, from his side,” she admitted. “But if he wants to get recognition... he would respond.”

“Wouldn’t hurt to try, right?” He grinned. “I think at this point the rumor is going around anyway, and it’s not like Seteth can do anything about it as long as there’s no lead either. But what should we put in the message?”

Byleth glanced at her desk, taking in the rest of the classroom in the process. It wasn’t as if they were alone, but the other golden deer present were just minding their own business. At least, that’s what it looked like.

“We could compose a draft at my desk?” She offered when she turned back to him again. He smiled back eagerly. “I’ll get another chair, Teach.”

She sat down behind her desk while he went out of the room for the extra chair. While looking through her drawers for paper, a letter caught her eye.

It was the letter that came with her birthday present, near the start of the year. She almost forgot she still had that.

That did give her an idea...

She took out the letter and opened another drawer where she had put the note attached to the earrings. Opening both, she squinted and observed the handwriting.

Granted, the note had been a lot neater, no doubt taken more effort to write, but the way the L’s looped and the crossing of the T’s seemed to match...

Not everything, however, but she wouldn’t put it past Claude to try and alter his handwriting to not get caught. The ‘secret admirer’ note has more elegant writing, while her birthday letter was more nonchalant. However, some core elements still seemed to match.

It wouldn’t be enough evidence, though.

She quickly put both papers in her top drawer as she expected Claude to come back any moment now with a chair, and sure enough: when she took out a few blank sheets from another drawer, he returned with a simple chair he stole from another classroom.

“So I was thinking,” he mused as he put the chair down backwards and sat down, leaning his arms on the backrest, “there’s a couple things you could do...”

He put a finger up. “Number 1: tell him to fuck off.”

Byleth was ready to write his suggestions down but gasped before her quill hit the paper. “Claude, language.”

“Well it boils down to that, really. You’d just say it nicely, like ‘I’m sorry but I’m not interested’ or ‘I got a boyfriend’ or something,” he explained, mimicking her voice in a high pitched manner. She just raised an eyebrow to that.

“But I don’t have one.”

“That might be true, but they don’t know that.” He stretched out his arms. “It is a surefire way to get them to back off, plus if they really need convincing you can use my name for it, if you’d like.”

“Why would I use your name?”

“Some people are plain persistent and won’t leave you alone otherwise. And I really don’t mind helping you out, Teach,” he explained nonchalantly.

“You do realize if we put this on the bulletin board, we will most likely have to explain ourselves to Seteth? At the very least we would be lectured on how our relationship would be improper.”

“Ah, so you’re entertaining the idea?” He teases. “But that’s a fair point. It’s still a plan B for if we have a better idea of who it might’ve been.”

“I don’t think it will be necessary,” she shakes her head, tapping the quill on the table as force of habit. “I don’t want to simply tell whoever sent me these to leave me alone. I want to at least be able to thank them for the gifts and return them if necessary.”

“They’ve been given to you, so you’re allowed to keep them even if you don’t return the affection, Teach,” he insisted while rubbing the back of his head.

“Yes, you’ve told me as such before.”

“It doesn’t make it less true,” he shrugs. “If you want to return them, sure, but don’t feel obligated to.”

“Even so...” she looked at the still empty paper. “You said I had more options?”

“Ah yes,” he leant his chin on his hands. “Option number 2: you can just ask ‘em to give you a clue. It’s likely he’ll indulge you since he already has shown fondness towards you, and he probably wants to reveal himself later anyway, if he wants to win your affection with these gifts.”

“Option number 3,” he splayed his fingers out against his cheek as he was leaning his chin in his palm, “Indirectly ask him. Try and get a correspondence going, and see if he gives you some clues during that. You could place a public request and then maybe he’ll arrange something so you can personally write him letters. We can either try to catch him while he comes to collect the letter or see what he writes back.”

She listened to his suggestions and waited for him to finish, so when he looked at her as if to say ‘so? What do you think?’ she said, “I think I like option 2 the best so far.”

“Ah, direct and to the point, as expected of you, Teach,” he grinned. “I’d be inclined to go for option 3 myself, just to see what kind of reaction I’d get. Oh, and don’t forget the thrill of the chase, of course.”

She dipped her quill into the jar of ink. “Which one would most likely get me an answer?”

He mused, tapping his fingers on the backrest. “Well, definitely option three. But that isn’t to say that option two wouldn’t get you a response, though. I think your anonymous lover would be glad to see your interest in his identity no matter what route you go, to be honest.”

He shrugged. “Hypothetically, if it were me, I’d be glad to feed you a hint about my involvement anyway at some point. So might as well hasten it a little by taking initiative, right?”

She nodded and quickly went to work. He leant forward, tipping the chair to watch what she was writing. Ah, their closeness was comforting. The letter she was writing was making her slightly nervous if she was honest, and even if it wasn’t as much as she _should_ be feeling, his presence soothed her worries. She briefly imagined aiming her letter at the boy sitting beside her- but that just made her nerves return tenfold. She shook her head and continued writing her letter to the nameless receiver and when she finished she looked at Claude for approval.

He quickly finished reading after and he he gave her a look. “Teach, you know that this is all very formal right? You gotta throw the fella a bone here, you know?”

“A bone?”

“You know,” he took the quill from her hands, fingers brushing and while he didnt noticeably dwell on it she felt a quick jolt go through her fingers. He took another empty paper and quickly scribbled his own note. He did get a word smudged, but when he showed off his version of the letter with a “Like this” she immediately was reminded of his birthday card to her.

He had written quickly, but the same loops and t’s stared her in the face and she couldn’t help but smile faintly while she read his letter. Her smile dropped when she finished reading.

“Absolutely not.”

“Aw but Teach,” he whined. “It’s more fun this way. Besides, a little wink and a flirt like this will make him more likely to indulge your request.”

“This will get me fired.”

“I’m sure Rhea won’t permit that.”

“Alright. I will not get fired. But Seteth will have my head if I hang this in a public place where Flayn could read it.”

“Fine,” he sighed resignedly, not without a smile. “We can use your letter. As long as we get the message across it will be fine, I imagine.”

She smiled. “You couldn’t help but want to tease, didn’t you?”

“Ah, you caught me,” he grinned. “But yeah, if they’re so bold to leave you gifts I can’t help but want to tease them right back. It’s our beloved Teach he’s making a move on, you know.”

“That may be so,” she said, not sternly but her eyes would make people that didn’t know better think otherwise, “however I should handle this my own way.”

“Yes yes,” he agreed slyly. “I think you got it handled then, Teach.”

She nodded. “I think so. Where should I put this?”

“How about the bulletin board near the classrooms? The knights of Seiros don’t often go near there so if he responds it’s likely to be a student.”

She tapped her quill in thought. “How about we give him a way to respond? I can tell him to write a letter back to shove under my door.”

“That’d be risky for him,” Claude pointed out. “I know I wouldn’t wanna risk getting seen either by other dorm goers or you accidentally opening the door on me.”

“How about he puts the letter in the advice box?”

“What if Seteth decides to empty that? Besides, Teach, still a public place. The church is always under careful watch.”

“You’re not exactly making it easy for me here,” she sighed. “Fine. What would you suggest?”

“Personally,” he stretched out his arms before resting his chin on the backrest of his chair, “I’d suggest asking him to drop the letter on your desk. So far he has delivered everything to the classroom, right? It wouldn’t go out of his comfort zone.”

“I think I’ll leave the delivery up to him,” she answered and stood up from her chair. “If he wishes to respond he will come up with whatever he is comfortable with.”

“Sure thing,” he wobbled with his chair. “So you’re gonna put it on the bulletin board now?”

“Yes. Hopefully I’ll get a response somewhere in the next week.”

“I’m sure he will send you one,” Claude grinned. “He’s probably eager to have some feedback on his gifts so far.”

He got up himself and spun the chair on one of its legs.

“Who knows? He might already reply tomorrow.”

————

That he did.

The next morning, she came early into class to be greeted with a perfumed envelope put neatly in the center of her desk. It smelled of pine needles and lavender, and since she didn’t have any onlookers she went ahead and opened it, not missing the pretty ‘to my dearest detective’ written on the back.

‘Hope this letter finds itself in your hands before anyone else touches it. I can’t say I’m not flattered by your interest in me, so I put another surprise on your chair. Hopefully you look before you sit down.’

The letter continued, but before reading on she decided to pull back her chair to see what he had planned.

Instead on her seat she found a bouquet. Daffodils, daisies & gardenias. It was a stunning bouquet, and she took it in her hands and smelled it. It was lovely. How did he know she loved daffodils?

She sat down, bouquet in her arms, and continued reading.

‘As for the hint to my identity: give me a little more time. I want to do this right. I will slowly but surely paint a better picture of myself, but it will take me a little more time to get there.’

She sighed before reading the final bit.

‘Meanwhile, enjoy the flowers. Maybe a little hint could be hidden in the meaning of them? Who knows.‘

‘With love, your secret admirer.’

She folded the letter up again, taking another sniff at the envelope. It reminded her of a tea blend. She wondered if that was another clue.

She just figured she’d have to spend her free day in the library.

But first a vase.

[vroenis]

Lost Legacy Exemplifies Naughty Dog’s Cultural Crisis

There’s a discussion about Ocean’s 8 that positions its existence around whether or not it's necessary as a counterpoint to the Ocean’s reboot - the Ocean’s Cinematic Universe - if you will (what a world we live in) - that it was only made as a gender flip of the reboot that spawned two sequels, three films in total cast almost entirely with men.

My perspective is that as much as I generally enjoyed the Ocean’s reboots for what they were, Ocean’s Eleven should have been a cast entirely with women in the first place.

The heroes we both need and deserve.

Massive spoilers for the original 1960 Lewis Milestone version and the Steven Soderbergh one in 2001 of Ocean’s Eleven - Soderbergh’s flip is of-course that they get to keep the money at the end so that they have to potentially give it back in the sequel he knew he’d be able to make, whereas I doubt Milestone knew he’d ever get a sequel back in the early 60′s so the rub for film-making back then is to burn the money at the end. Nevertheless even for the early 2000′s, the boldest of moves would have been to cast it with women, not to be progressive but also to be progressive, tho that’s still an absurd thought that to cast women is progressive - but to be smart. Ocean’s 8 is a fantastic film, deftly written, paced, acted, shot and edited. Would the world have responded to it in like-kind? I know how *I* would have responded to it, I think you can answer for yourself how societal cultures may have responded at any point from 2001 thru to now. In any case, I have Ocean’s 8 on blu-ray. I love it.

A reader asked me whether I’d played Uncharted: The Lost Legacy after kindly reading through my bludgeoning of Uncharted 4, and seeing as they were patient enough to endure that blood-letting, I felt I owed them and probably Naughty Dog the time of day to give Uncharted-And-A-Half a chance, and I’m really glad I did. Fair warning, there’s a lot I didn’t like about Lost Legacy, and there’s going to be some more pain - a lot of pain. I don’t think any of my tumblr audience is quite on the rest of my socials, but anyone who’s connected to me anywhere else on the Wire was subject to my frustrations as I played thru the game on Saturday, including the blurred image of my Google Keep notes I took while playing the game in preparation for this journal. I keep notes now.

Nevertheless, I can say that on the assumption that the Uncharted series is wrapped, or at least in the narrative arc with these characters as we know them, that Lost Legacy is easily without question my favourite Uncharted game by far.

On that assumption that Uncharted is more or less done, now’s as good a time as any to take a top-down look at the franchise as a whole. I know I already did a fair bit of that in the last piece, but some broader thoughts on what the series does and says have solidified while playing Lost Legacy, and I’ll discuss them as a lead-in to my thoughts on the game.

Again - this is going to be riddled with spoilers for Uncharted: The Lost Legacy and most likely the entire Uncharted series, so if you’ve not played them and are interested in doing so, or don’t want to see them heavily critiqued, please stop here.

The first game was released in 2007 and was apparently in development for roughly three years. What was happening up to and around 2004 to 2007? September 11 had happened in 2001, the world was at war in the Middle East in Afghanistan and second invasion of Iraq had begun in 2003, Hurricane Katrina happened in 2005 - the same year the IRA ended armed conflict in Northern Ireland, 2005 saw the outbreak of H5N1 Avian Flu - topical right now. There are so many more, I can’t list them all here - lots of momentous events that in some way or another highlight community awareness in some way - that’s probably a bit of an obtuse statement but hopefully it’ll string together in a sec. What struck me and a bunch of my friends odd about the first, then the second and then somehow every Uncharted game since, is that Naughty Dog seem to choose an ethnicity for their antagonists and scratch the surface of “what if this element of their cultural violence is bad”, but then leave it so shallow that it remains a caricature and comes off as casually and carelessly racist. The first game frames the theme around Nazis, but the actual enemies are anything but. Yes, they’re intended to be mercenaries, but they’re hardly nondescript, they’re absolutely of very specific ethnicity.

From the second game onward, Naughty Dog seem to want to make use of real world settings and do some nuanced research on actual sociopolitical conflict and I always feel uneasy about how its presented. Lost Legacy begins much the same way and I worried about the tone going in. An active war-zone in India as gravitas to your setting that is then almost completely abandoned until the very end? This is my problem with how the writers treat setting in Uncharted. They use very real conflicts that have real-world consequences for people in which actual lives are lost to inject gravity into their narrative and then quickly discard it for the sake of shenanigans once the wise-cracking starts when the tone shifts gear and the characters themselves take centre-stage in the foreground.

Here’s the thing.

The character’s are enough. I *love* these characters. Their story is fantastic. Nadine’s and Chloe’s story was the best and most cohesive of the entire series. Also it only took me roughly six hours to play thru and I only feel like half of that was wasted! That’s still probably being too generous but I’m grasping for positives, here. Still - I don’t know why the senior production team has never had confidence in the core of their product which is the charm of their characters and the play dynamic - Uncharted is primarily about *seeing* and *doing* - for the most part, unfortunately, separately.

The dialogue between Chloe and Nadine is extremely interesting, it is absolutely the best thing in the game, yet it keeps getting interrupted by stupid gameplay beats due to poor timing of rolling up on level locations. Uncharted 4 was supposed to have locations hidden around levels where you could engage in dialogue between characters but I barely found them - why hide such interesting content in your game?? It’s completely absurd. Then the only few I did find were between Elena and Nathan altho I really don’t think those were meant to be hidden, and they were so poorly written and I hated them so much, I didn’t care to discover any more. Again - no disrespect at all to Nolan North and Troy Baker whom I absolutely adore and respect, but I didn’t find anything engaging or interesting *at all* about the brother narrative. I didn’t care one bit what that nonsense was about. What about Sully? Where’s Sully’s story?? I’m just so - so glad we got a story for Chloe, and that at least Nadine got some great screen time too as a part of it and that it all presented so well.

Before I continue to praise what went well, there are a few things I can’t let pass. While the driving has thankfully improved and controls quite well now, the exclusion of a minimap or GPS HUD element is interesting. I’m fairly certain it’s intentional as to not detract from the game’s clean, cinematic look, to not break immersion, but this just generates a horrific breakdown in actual player experience for me. Without any navigational assists, I constantly got lost and stopped every 20 meters to check the map, frequently driving into dead-ends, off cliffs and past where I wanted or needed to go. The game isn’t a 30 hour open-world experience with distinct and varied landmarks the player will familiarise themselves with and learn to navigate by, for the most part the level is fairly homogeneous in object geometry.

Some of the puzzles take far too long to mechanically execute, in particular the smashy-slashy statue block jumpy stupid whatever it’s called one and the sliding shadow motif. It doesn’t matter that neither actually takes too long once you know the solution, it’s that they feel long and then are actually over-long and also not interesting to mechanically execute. This is due mostly to clunky character animation and animation smoothing, and part of Naughty Dog’s overall obsession with being cinematic which is something I’ll return to towards the end of this piece, something which has been a strength but will ultimately be to their detriment. While cinematic visuals might be a benefit for traversal, it’s something that absolutely does not suit puzzle-solving. In the example of the statue-block puzzle, the hard reset each time the player is hit means laboriously jogging all the way back to the beginning and starting again - it’s just poor puzzle design having to begin again from a full reset. There’s no satisfaction in having to remember the whole thing and while I didn’t look up the solution online, I’m willing to bet many people will have just dialled up a clip on YouTube and copied it without figuring it out themselves. This is a failure of connecting what’s satisfying about moving in your game and what’s satisfying about solving puzzles, something Crystal Dynamics understood far better in the Tomb Raider reboots, in particular the second outing (Rise of) with their much more environment-centric puzzling.

The sliding shadow puzzle just simply takes way too long to jog around the space, then clip onto the hot-zone for each lever, wait for the animation to lift it, wait for the animation for the pieces to slide, rinse, repeat. Once you know what you have to do, it’s overly frustrating actually having to do it.

It brings me to a weird quirk of design where the puzzle designers perhaps don’t understand something that the environmental designers do. Maybe they didn’t get the same little notes in the Slack channel, or Trello board or Teams pin or whatever. Uncharted level-design has almost no back-tracking, less in each successive game, and it’s almost entirely absent from Lost Legacy - you’d have to look closely to realise you’re navigating the same area you came in thru and almost always moving over it in a different way that’s been modified - now it’s flooded, now there’s a bridge, now you’re swinging or leaping or climbing where you weren’t etc. I feel like this is the Hidetaka Miyazaki Souls/Borne effect of level design in which environments are designed to be both realistic and practical.

Great! Good for the level designers. Did the puzzle designers not get that note? Maybe they did. I need to stop thinking that every poor optimisation is a symptom of ignorance - that’s bad form on my part. What’s more likely is it’s a symptom of either bad leadership, poor tool implementation, lack of time or too narrow or strict an observation of representative vision - by which I mean - they can’t change the way the characters move or animate just for puzzles, because it has to be consistent with the cinematic representation of the game as a whole - and that sucks lemons. It means the overall play experience suffers for the sake of the overall cinematic experience except executing a puzzle isn’t cinematic unless it’s expansive...

Like the positive example I’ll give of the light reflector room. Shoplifted from Uncharted 2′s giant knife that has Nathan climb all over a giant knife, Lost Legacy’s light reflector room has slightly less climbing but is a much larger space, more impressive and a much better example of good puzzling in Uncharted. It’s not difficult to solve but again (I think again?) I’ll argue that you don’t come to Uncharted for difficult puzzles - you don’t come to Tomb Raider for difficult puzzles, either. 

The puzzles in these games should be mostly environmental because they feel good solving them, and solving them should be more about the doing - the playing - and the playing should be moving - running, jumping, climbing etc.

Both the giant knife and the reflector room are a joy to execute because they’re fantastically realised - large cavernous environments that aren’t annoying to navigate, that give you time to appreciate both the scale of the spaces and the details the designers and artists have put into them. Lost Legacy’s is more impressive because you do a lot more puzzling and spend much more time in its vastly larger space, culminating in combat that usually I would be ho-hum about, but I guess exhibits more animation and destruction tech which while scripted, is still impressive nonetheless given how extremely difficult it is to have interactivity still occurring.

I have a few things I want to mention before I begin to wrap up, given it’s going to be a very long wrap - I’d say I’m taking cues from Joseph Anderson but I’ve always been this verbose.

The medallion puzzles were excellent, in part perhaps because they felt like the closest thing to the Tomb Raider reboots’ challenge tombs. Some of them were silly and lazily implemented, the worst offender being you just had to shoot mans and get the medallion from the lock-box that the mans had put it in (pfft), but the best ones were integrated into the environment such that you may well have walked past or thru areas that were puzzles before you knew what they were. This brings up one of the most interesting things I’ve been turning over for quite some time now. Ben Croshaw aka Yahtzee aka Zero Punctuation may have first mentioned “chest high walls” in his first Gears of War video, but it may well have been an Uncharted game. I don’t remember but he will have thrown in mentions of all the generic cover-shooters as a catch-all for how the environments immediately telegraph that Combat™ will happen. It’s a particularly astute remark and speaks volumes of video game design - developers always seem to have very specific design language to separate traversal, combat and puzzling. While I clearly don’t care for combat most days, and yes - I do acknowledge there are some practical concerns for combat that can’t be avoided, I always envisaged design that blurred the lines between puzzle and environment so that you never quite knew what was and wasn’t a puzzle. Everything should be the puzzle. In some senses, Cyan’s old Myst games were a bit like this but in a very rudimentary and crude way - sure, they’re quite old now, but even those had very clear not puzzle areas. It’s a complex and subtle subject, but something of a study of games like Fireproof Games’ The Room would be in order. Understandably smaller scale, but the thinking behind it is definitely adjacent.

Final notes - the young Indian girl in the prologue has amazing animations that you’ll miss entirely unless you swing the camera yourself. A whole team of people or a single animator has spent hours on those animations - that a director or team leader hasn’t forced the player to see and appreciate them is a disservice.

Every section where you have to do something under pressure like run from mans shooting at you or dash through a lengthy section of crumbling cave network etc. is a horrible play experience of not knowing where to go. They’re trying to inject excitement by applying pressure but there’s no clear guidance and no dependence on player skill, so you end in bizarre fail-states due to going in completely the wrong direction that glitches cameras or scene time-outs resulting in check-points and the whole thing just doesn’t scan as a cinematic experience. I hate hate hate them - you’re subject to the same musical swell that’s supposed to be like a movie only to fail again and it comes off as b-grade and pathetic. Every game has had this problem and it is just straight bad design.

Three? Four? Games in a row, Naughty Dog have recycled; 

being pursued on foot by an armoured vehicle crashing through level geometry while you have to run and occasionally shoot/fight mans, 

driving down a shanty-town on a hill pursued by an armoured vehicle - perhaps the same one as previous scene

a big chase scene of lots of vehicles jumping from vehicle to vehicle shooting and/or punching mans that may or may not include...

a train combat sequence where you start at the back of the train and work your way to the front of it shooting mans as you go

This lacks creativity at this point. I think duplicating these once each - so you do them twice total across the franchise is fine, but they hit the same beats in the same way - exactly - every time they appear. It just strikes me as Naughty Dog just not knowing what else to do. At one point, I think it was in Uncharted 4, when driving down the shanty-town on the hill, I literally had a brain-fart not knowing which game I was playing because I swear we did it in 2 and 3. Did we do it in 3?? Look, I don’t know. But it’s getting old. At least we didn’t do it in Lost Legacy, but we did the train and I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of doing the same things in the same way. It could have been a train but it should have been in a way that just wasn’t just another Uncharted train. It hasn’t worn thin, it’s worn out.

Overall, the games look great... but playing them feels like they’re stuck in PS2 and early PS3 era philosophies, like Naughty Dog haven’t evolved and don’t realise that people’s brains function much quicker and can process more, or that the media we consume, the games we play function at a higher level and we can digest more, we’re capable of processing higher functions. I’ve been playing Ubisoft’s The Division 2 and enjoying it more the more I play, much to my surprise. I understand the intent behind the gameplay is extremely different to the single-player experience of Uncharted, however there are some parallels in what it achieves animation wise;

The Division is also a cover shooter but of-course as a multiplayer, open-world live-service game, its intent is to telegraph to the player that the entire environment is a permanent play-space in which to always be playing. It utilises an information-rich GUI that is an always-on system with button icons telling the player what button to press over what surfaces to snap to, vault over, climb up, run to (and snap to cover), open and loot, interact with etc. I don’t know if these can be turned off but I like them on. It’s a pretty amazing feat that almost every environmental object has been mapped as a snap-to-cover and/or climbable object. For this reason, the character movement in Division is pretty quick and snappy, however it still manages to have a decent degree of natural human kinetics in the character rigging which is amazing. This means if you move-off from standing still, there’s a slight delay as your “weight” shifts, same if you change direction. When I say “snap” to cover, it’s not actually instantaneous, your character makes a movement and takes time to do so, yet it’s still not sluggish. Somehow the developers have worked at fine-tuning a balance between not-instant, but not too slow.

This is something that even in Lost Legacy, I feel Naughty Dog simply can’t do. The animations are decent during play - they’re outstanding during cutscenes (we’re getting there), but character models have a really awkward relationship with the environment. They clip awkwardly with ladders and buttons and wheels - with puzzles and levers - getting the grappling hook to prompt is again better than Uncharted 4 but still not ideal. I had far fewer glitch-outs than 4 too, which was a significant improvement, but I still had to animate back and forth a few times to get into hot-zones appropriately and with character kinetics not quite right, it wasn’t exactly easy.

And again to be fair, this stuff is suuuuuper difficult. I don’t mean to talk about this stuff like it’s cooking instant ramen. It’s so freaking tough. Rigging and mapping interactive character models has to be one of the most stupendously difficult things a developer has to do - making it work with all that scripting, getting it to play nice with all those assets and lines and lines of coding for the full experience. I have so much respect for game developers and what an astronomical task it is. So when I say I prefer one development team’s product over another’s, I don’t mean to say that the other team is absolute garbage - there are so many things that might contribute to that final product and we have no idea what’s been going on at Naughty Dog. If the team leaders and producers say they’re happy or even if they don’t, and the decision is made to ship, there’s nothing more they can say or do.

If there was one thing I absolutely loved about this game, it was the two main characters and the story that was told about them. I can excuse the main text as the catalyst that brought them together - even to the point that it’s a story about Chloe ultimately deciding what’s important to her. My issue with this comes full circle with the setting being in a real world conflict. There’s a bit of white savour complex in there in that Asav might be the narrative’s antagonist, but he at least is local. It’s not clear exactly what Chloe’s ethnicity is and I’m not here to judge what her stakes are in it because clearly her character has a sense of home and place in India, but she certainly also has a complex sense of being an outsider. So the point is not to judge, but the game also is unclear on its positioning other than she’s the heroic vehicle of deliverance. See what I mean about theme? This is what I mean by you could have just as easily written almost an identical story about Nadine and Chloe, with very similar interactions, tension, redemption and resolve - even with an antagonist, conflict and a happy ending, but either treated real sociopolitical issues with better care or not set your game in them at all. I’m all for setting games in the real world, but if you’re going to do it, do it right. I’m not the person to ask.

I need to be careful not to direct that criticism at the base-level developers nor at Claudia Black who is the manifestation of Chloe’s voice because she does an amazing job of bringing her to life. The casting of Laura Bailey voicing a black South African Nadine was much more awkward given Nadine’s ethnicity wasn’t decided when she was cast - again that’s on Naughty Dog’s leadership, but I won’t knock Laura Bailey for it. It’s easy to say she should have resigned, perhaps she should have, that’s an economical question only Laura can answer and I’m sure it’s not an easy one. Suffice to say, VO work isn’t lucrative.

What a side-track.

I don’t think I ever cared about Nathan. I think I always cared about Elena, and not because WAIFU and also not because WHITE KNIGHT or whatever other bullshit reasons stupid alphagamerz will spit from their frontheads. Elena’s just more interesting, probably because Nathan is written like a design document and Elena’s written like a human being. Naughty Dog want to create a game about adventuring with lush expansive environments, shooty mcshooting and light puzzling. They want it to be cinematic and unrivalled in its quality and they have the smarts to build the tech around it, with Sony’s help. Backed by Sony money, they take VO seriously and do a great job at creating that cinematic experience, coupled with some above-par for video games narrative writing. The problem this introduces for me is Nathan’s raison d'être has to justify everything - action, tension, stupidity...

Nathan Drake really is the design document.

I feel like he’s just the unfortunate side-effect of being central to the game, and it’s typical of my character to just not dig the focus of things and get into subtexts a whole lot more. Often I get into things in the periphery, things adjacent - I don’t love or hate Shakespeare or for that matter Baz Luhrmann but Romeo + Juliet ‘96 is an amazing film and not at all because of the eponymous Romeo and Juliet and again, not for Leonardo di Caprio (spit!) or for Claire Danes (she can stay) but the absolutely divine cast of supporting characters (John Leguizamo will live in my heart forever oh baby).

That Nathan makes stupid decisions is already something that turns me off. That he makes poor decisions because... he’s an orphan? Because... he was bullied? Because... his brother left him? This is why he’s not transparent with his wife? Actually, he’s quite realistic. Except the people like him I’ve known in my life aren’t heroes - they’re pathetic or unreliable or abusive or dangerous. Elena is an adult. She’s not perfect either and that’s also great because neither am I. As a side character she has the conceit of being more nuanced, but as the contra to Nathan, she’s also mature versus his childishness. OOOOAAAAH EVERYONE LOVES A LOVEABLE MANBABY OOAAAH COMEON LIVE A LITTLE EVERYONE’S GOT A LITTLE CHILD STILL IN THEM SOMEWHERE yea fine, I get it, like I’ve said before, yes - he embodies the recklessness and playfulness in us, but that’s a confusing position for a game that frequently tries to ground itself in real world conflict to be taking. You’re reducing him to that but injecting complex and nuanced characters like Elena and now eventually both Chloe and Nadine? I’m telling you now - any male that doesn’t know when it’s appropriate to grow-up, when the time to set aside the playfulness and be TRUTHFUL AND TRANSPARENT WITH HIS PARTNER is a dangerous person and FUCK THAT NOISE. Nathan, as much as I do absolutely - make no mistake - adore Nolan North’s voicing - ends up being another Homer Simpson - as long as you laugh at his stupidity, you’ll excuse it, and you’ll excuse the hurt that’s done by it, and that shit doesn’t fly with me. His redemption was not earned. I say again - Elena should throw him into the sea.

Nadine ends up being a fantastic character, even if she’s given less narrative time, she’s a great example of her behaviour telling more story in contrast to Chloe getting to reveal her past and it’s nice to see them play off one another. I feel Nadine and Chloe as characters hit great story beats in ways Nathan didn’t get to with pretty much any of the other characters in four games - not Sully, not Elena, not his brother, not even Chloe - all told, we never actually get any back-story on Nathan and Chloe and I think we’re better off for it because I don’t care.

Having a quick squiz around tumblr reveals the obvious and rampant shipping of Nadine and Chloe and I couldn’t be happier. I think Naughty Dog knew what they were doing. There were so many moments. Those moments were for us. I think they were subtle enough that the fragile manbabies would have missed them but there’s no fooling us. Some of the babyboiz would have been seething thru their mouthbreething hairmouths and I’m sure probably took to the internet but that’s OK, they can remain unfucked incels for the rest of their lives or worse, serviced by whatever unwashed creatures want to dare fondle them in the dark. The elephant ride and that whole conversation was almost enough for me to forgive the absolute disaster that was Uncharted 4. It was given enough time to breathe, it was absolutely beautiful, and just when you thought they were going to terminate it and apologise for making things too awks, it concludes just perfectly and you get a phone picture that doesn’t have Nadine in frame, yet her presence in that picture is definite, pervasive and emotional. Again, some people may have completely missed it and maybe it chalks up to life experience, but as completely contrived as an artefact of complete fiction as that whole sequence might be, it was one of the most wonderfully tender moments ever created in a video game and I wonder if it makes the whole affair worth it.

In the Uncharted 4 piece, I threw in a few barbs about the most meaningful interactions, and in Lost Legacy, what I really loved was Chloe taking photos of things she thinks are beautiful and interesting on her phone, and feeding the elephant - these were the most meaningful interactions in the game. I love that the photos on the phone didn’t serve any gameplay utility at all, they were there because her character wanted to document her travels, because she thought what she was seeing was cool, and any time in the game, you could pull out your phone and look at what you’d seen. It was such a good and important decision to have the very first picture to be the Indian girl in the market, as that rather than the local conflict, does more to ground you and Chloe as a character in the setting. The game never forces you to look at it as a reminder, but you know it’s there.

I did steal these from the internet, sorry - so if they’re yours, let me know and I’ll be happy to take them down - this one in particular, seeing as it’s a photomode capture. I should have taken my own but I don’t do photomode caps on my first play-thru and there’s no-way I’m replaying this ever again.

It took five games for Naughty Dog to finally get some decent character writing, but a part of me still feels they couldn’t have existed without all the dross of the other games. There’s this immense amount of back-story and labour both the developers and the players had to slog thru to get to this point, and I feel as tho we get here and there’s just too little to show for it. I still really enjoyed the story that was told, the sense of character I felt, but a lot of that was contingent on the Uncharted universe in situ. Lost Legacy feels like a combining of all of Naughty Dog’s narrative motifs - the earnest redemption, the moment of tenderness and connection centred around peaceful animals - it’s a greatest hits of Naughty Dog in the best way possible because each narrative beat hits perfectly. I’m glad I played it with two characters who endeared themselves so much to me, that I truly cared about.

I’ve spend a lot of time praising the strengths of writing for at least Lost Legacy, but for each thing I’ve enjoyed about at least these two characters, there have been so many things I’ve been critical of. I feel like in order to get to the tiniest bit of enjoyment, I had to suffer thru so much. Honestly I don’t know if it really was worth it. It’s hard to know given that who I am now and where my tastes are and have developed as a consequence of my experiences, and I definitely would not replay any of those games again - so where does that leave me? I can’t go back and play The Last Of Us and I absolutely won’t play the second game, I just can’t do Naughty Dog games now, I don’t have it in me.

Naughty Dog have spent the better part of two decades developing tech for visual fidelity specifically for the Playstation hardware platforms (PS3 and 4). They’ve also been doing it by overworking their staff, many of which have left out of frustration or necessity. The problem they face is that as industry tools in general improve, there will no gap between games developed by Naughty Dog and any other contemporary studio from a visual perspective. Make no mistake - the Uncharted games are absolutely chock-full of objects, geometry and animation - somehow miraculously so on the Playstation platform in comparison to other games with the exception of other first-party and exclusive games receiving similar support from Sony such as Guerilla Games’ Horizon Zero Dawn and Sucker Punch’s forthcoming Ghost of Tsushima. There are probably other similar examples for the previous generation on PS3.

Yes, there’s a certain style of game Naughty Dog create as far as narrative goes but because it’s becoming more cinematic, that style is judged more and more by cinematic standards and at best it’s barely semi-professional aside from the outstanding voice work. There are few striking visual motifs that set Naughty Dog games apart from a design perspective, and the gameplay and mechanical constructions that once distinguished them at least a little from others are ever diminishing at increasing rates - more-so as their work practices make the level of quality they set out to achieve ever more unsustainable.

Lost Legacy encapsulates a lot of what I feel about video games as a whole at the moment - as an industry and as a culture. It’s a snapshot of a culture that’s achieving wonderful, beautiful things that are in ways huge - immense, yet somehow can feel so small in comparison to some of the challenges it faces. It’s an industry and culture experiencing a period of great upheaval, where after years upon years of malpractice, terrible things somehow still endure. It’s a space where sometimes it feels like a battle to find the tiniest shred of beauty buried in the dirt and ash, and there doesn’t seem to be an end to the frustration that working thru it brings about while grass-roots labourers continue to be burned.

Like many things in life, both at my age and at the level I guess a person gets to at the exposure rate of a thing, I’ve cut back a great deal on my engagement time with video games, so I’m a lot less patient with the functions and mechanisms of a game. There’s a labour element of video games that I feel developers might think is somehow necessary and there’s a component of that which is true, just not quite in the way they think it is, and it takes a unique frame of thinking to break out of traditional design to understand it. Again I’m not saying there’s anything special about how I understand games - there’s nothing at all original in my thoughts - I’ve shoplifted them wholesale from a hundred other people back from when I used to read Gamasutra and even now when I read designers and the people I follow and talk to on Twitter etc. There’s also absolutely nothing wrong with traditions and the people that enjoy them - just because they’re not my thing any more doesn’t mean they’re bad. It just means I’ve moved to something else and I shouldn’t engage with them.

That, I think, is what I’m waiting for. Kentucky Route Zero, Howling Dogs, Dear Esther, Everybody’s Gone To The Rapture, a whole bunch of others - these are the games I feel are pushing past the boundaries of tradition. Then the moments Uncharted takes itself out of its traditions - Nadine and Chloe’s elephant ride, Chloe’s phone pictures, Elena and Nathan’s house tours especially as Cassie - that’s when I think now you’re running! Run with it! Look, I’m still playing The Division - I’m still moving and shooting and enjoying it.

But we can do so much more. Many developers are doing more. We as an audience need to play more All of us together need to do and play more.

(The epilogue is me figuring I talk a lot of shit about AAA games and nary a word about KRZ, Howling Dogs, Dear Esther and the rest and I get it, but oooooo howdy is it really difficult for me to talk pragmatically about games I actually love)

[incarnateirony]

I went off on a rant to a friend about things like Gamble Era, and miscellaneous idolized past authors, and you know what, fuck it. I'm going to say it out loud. And listen, listen this is NOT going to be my normal "Whatever you like :)" post like, this is literally an accumulation of horse shit I've seen talked about in any and all lanes for years that have been driving me fucking bananas for years. Don't just read this going HAHA I HATE GAMBLE TOO and then be shocked when I slap at inexplicably favorited authors in this fandom beyond that.

------

God how can anyone genuinely like Gamble, like, literally, legitimately and 1000%, not even about her killing Cas or whatever, what kind of pure trash TV do these people intake in mass that they think Gamble was good at her job I can not emphasize enough how cripplingly disappointing the shift from S4-5 to 6-7 was I know art is in the eye of the beholder or whatever but JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST.

Fuck constructivist theory there's a point when things are just clearly trash Benefits S7 had: Just da bros uhhhh *flips through pages* Anything else? Are dick jokes art?

Her era was overrun by plot holes you could fly boeing jets through -- and I don’t mean shit like when fandom goddamn made up in their own damn head about an angelreaper retcon even though the reaper in the same episode they said was a retcon said the deadass opposite of what everybody fucking wound themselves up about, just deadass yawning voids -- it had unstable mechanics on previously established species shit, the villain plot was one giant monster of the week that tried desperately to go back to how they handled shit like Azazel as a threat but miserably failed, the monster had the dumbest weakness possible, the characters themselves were unstable in their characterizations and not even in that general "I don't like what the show is doing with them" but episode to episode Sam flipping from ripping Dean with laughter over gay jokes to woke-sounding sentiments

The cinematic style was gone and just vacant, it was neither the overexposed horror desaturated film nor the vivid fantasy of Carver, it just sat there like an unpolished lump

While later seasons also lost the classic rock vibe for budget reasons, that too disappeared in her era so we had no film energy, no story energy, no character energy, no villain energy, no structure energy, and we didn't even have the fucking cool tunez but we had dicks allergic to windex

It even lacked the elements that gave Kripke era value

Dusty americana died, all we had left was teenage girl fuckin emo sad boi drama And even that was miserably piss poor

I have never seen such a visionless fucking disaster successfully air an entire season on my fucking TV

I will never, EVER be able to outline what a fucking disappointment it was to go from S4-5 level show maturation into this negative embarrassment by season 7.

S6 Kripke was still around to some extent and that's the only reason I can deduce, S7 minded, there was any substance to it, even if her writing and editing crew at the time were a goddamn tire fire. And then people turn around and yell feminism if you criticise the giant fucking blazing slag heap that was her era and blame anyone and everyone but her and here you FUCKING go and she does half the shit all over again in the Magicians

(The friend replied: "The season only works in reverse, which is a crime on serialised TV (and just bad screenwriting)." )

That's just it though, it's like S7 we were suddenly back to fucking episodical TV like S1-2 because enough fuckbats yelled about Good Old Days. Only instead of ʷĤε𝕣є'𝓼 đα𝒹 or 𝐓Ħⓔ DεᗰＯᶰ 卄𝓐ｓ Ƥl𝓐𝓝Ş ℱⓞｒ Ⓜ𝔢 it was   ħ𝔞ⓗａ 𝓓ＩＣ𝐤ᔕ  🍆

I mean fucking sure this show started targeting late teenage women but Kripke had started maturing it forward and then Gamble fucking rolls along and it's like she's writing for 13 year old boys suddenly

Well I say that's what she seemed to be writing for but at the time the marketing was gross objectification going LOOK PRETTY BOYS WITH GUNS and that was it, that was the substance of what they gave a shit about and apparently the kind of demographic they thought constituted the sum of the SPN audience which, go get fucked guys, seriously. No fucking wonder the ratings got gouged in half over the course of a year. And fandom yells BUT FRIDAY DEATH SLOT but go sit and spin, S6 was friday deathslot too but before Kripke disappeared as the last thread holding SOME kind of cohesive value in the piece together in S6, that went to shitfuckhell in a handbag at light speed. People migrated to SPN Fridays S6 just fine. They LEFT season 7 and then people plug their ears if they don’t like that. And Carver had to fight all S8 to get it back, /but succeeded, and then-some./ 

oh and lemme head off fandom dumbfuck argument #72 about “well Dabb’s ratings are lower than Gamble’s were so he sucks and ruined it worse” go take your fucking ass and google “national primetime ratings decline” and enjoy exploring the last fucking 70 years of TV history. Pointing out a show crashes within a year because of massive failure is not the same as people being intentionally fucking daft sods to the TV universe’s decline over the last decade so like, don’t. Don’t be that person. Because you’re still embarrassingly wrong.

(The friend replied: "That's why I don't get why people care about what the vocal minority have to say. They *already* got what they wanted. It crashed and burned. Nobody in their right mind in corporate world is gonna be like, let's try that again, let's throw more money into that burning pit That's just not happening. Gay angels or no, it just ain't." )

I mean that should have been obvious when 1. Carver brought back Cas and pretty much immediately promoted him to Regular 2. Misha then got promoted to lead credits in S12, no matter what circles of intentional, willful ignorance fandom argues about what the credits mean for petty piss fights

"LOL & MEANS HE'S LESS IMPORTANT" Shut the fuck up and sit down you basement dwelling shitlord, go watch the A-Team, tell me how Mr T is the least important character

Also unpopular fuckin opinion Robbie Thompson and Ben Edlund are not That Great. Compared to what they were SURROUNDED with they were exceptional but Berens and Yockey could run circles around them both. They just happened to give fandom shit they liked during dark times so it made them fun. Robbie Thompson and Ben Edlund are basically the baseline value of our current writing team on random names. Give me Robbie Thompson and give me Davy Perez and I see no fucking difference. People compare Edlund to Yockey because of certain shit he pulled off but like, no? If there WAS a comparison it’d be like, Meredith, and even then I can’t see any way Edlund is substantially better than Meredith but could list the other in reverse?

But if we're talking about being able to write pieces with more than 1 or 2 layers of impact I'm sorry, it's rose colored glasses that makes people idolize them

Like if people seriously objectively fucking sat and reviewed the methodology and substance of their past idol authors to the demonstratable level of the current crew where I am DEAD ASS HAVING DISCOURSE WITH THE EXEC PRODUCER ABOUT BAUDRILLARDIAN CONCEPTS AND DELILLO in the middle of a hypercomplex postmodern two-directional commentary piece on some scaffolding of sociopolitical representation commentary that SAILS past the level the ‘activists’ in this fandom think about, literally, what people like is Gay Shit They Got lobbed at them or shiny visuals. And you know what, whatever, sure, like what you like IDGAF but don't sit here like Thompson was some fucking Shakespeare. No, your fucking "meta" you -- you, in any lane, anyone, any ship, anywhere, ever -- wrote by COMPLETELY randomly associating whatever storyline you could staple on to try to pretend the text was doing what you want at the time -- is not the same as author intent and actual weight and merit to the cohesive structure of what they build.

YES YES I KNOW, Death of the Author, someone just popped that up in their head, like the ten thousand posts I've made over the last 209349 years addressing how people abusive the fuck out of the term and that's fine, interpret shit however you wanna make it do jumping jacks but don't sit here entering the time you attached Little Bo Peep as some sort of intrinsic value to Dean trying to find Sam in 1492 and act like that's some deep critical shit the authors thoughtfully laced into the piece, these are not the same fucking conversation.

Big hollow voids of statements doesn’t make a better author, it makes you bust your ass harder to actually give any sort of consequential meaning to the piece, and that has nothing to do with the quality of the author or text themselves, that has to do with your interpretation in a piece devoid of genuine thematic subtext so people desperately try to bobby pin some bullshit together. Which also is probably why this fandom can’t tell the difference between coding, interpretation, subtext, and text for their fucking life anymore.

Protip the entire goddamn writing room is pouring that gay shit in your cup that's been triple brewed above Robbie or Edlund’s pots and people are still complaining it isn't enough

Another point that drives me up a wall, "LAZARUS RISING IS THE BEST EPISODE EVER" okay like lmaooooo what the fuck are you smoking Was it impressive as fuck at the time yes it was. But again, fucking perspective. I literally went back and watched it like a month ago and I realized it was a fucking void of content compared to our modern writing, it just had one of the most impressive entrances, it DID have good directing (YES MANNERS WAS GOOD, NO DISRESPECT), and it introduced a character everybody loved. Dean was still a halfass caricature

You wanna know why everybody made that shit gay right away Because there was no fucking substance around it it was a wallpaper of a cool looking episode that was otherwise blank space to run around in on dialogue they should have thought to construct better if they didn't want it to be gay

And sure since then the author room has picked up the big gay ball and started actually turning it into some shit which, great, but this is yet again a matter of structure and intent versus throwing rotten pasta at the wall and seeing if the mold makes it stick. I don't care if you have a vegan recipe that converts the fucking mold on the pasta into a healthy sauce base that isn't what it was thrown at the wall like, and no amount of complimenting the original chef's moldy pasta means it was some tasty shit before you added 10,000 ingredients they never fucking thought about or at least a second chef came along and figure out what to do with the pile of goo.

Fandom would stop being this miserable fucking putrid stinkhole if people would collectively apply some goddamn perspective to the content they argue about before even bothering to engage with uwustiel/cest dot tumblr dot com in irrelevant argument #9238428934 they use to fence off whether they should enjoy the content or try to explore it for its value or not because there is NO. MORE. PERSPECTIVE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? IT’S FINE TO EVEN ADMIT YOU LIKED THINKY-FREE TV, THAT’S FINE, THAT’S YOUR RIGHT.

But don’t SIT here acting like a lot of these former train wrecks were “better authors” or somehow objectively “better content.” No like, you like not thinking about shit that much and staring at pretty boys or whatever, good on you, but you literally like, objectively, some of the shit I’ve seen go down is like genuinely trying to compare a toddler’s fridge art to a Vasarely and hold them both up in front of people who do art for a living. They ain’t gonna shit on the kid’s fridge art, but they’re gonna go “awwwww she’s gonna grow up to be a great artist!” before breaking down on Vasarely’s vector illusion shit, sorry, that’s just how it be. I’m sure the kid had some sort of vision to drawing the triangle over the square that kinda looks like a house but the hypercomplex thought processes simply aren’t there. 

Just people STUCK in weird idolization of shit that is so far past irrelevant to the current piece in play and fighting to win arguments while trying to convince themselves they're right and secretly dreading how titanically failboat wrong they are ignoring the sound of the glacier having ripped through their hulls SEASONS ago. The ice water has already leaked onto the fucking DECK and people are still arguing about completely ridiculous shit or fancying things that were 1/10th of the value of the current content they're claiming isn't good or enough or valid compared to the shallow specters that birthed them out of old aeons. 

Dead-ASS Kripke picked shit because it “sounded cool.” I’m sorry if there weren’t some model guys fandom wanted to hump everybody would be making fun of the fedora-tipping mindset that probably is where the fucking trenchcoat came from and may have debated giving Cas -- sorry, “CASS” because “COOL” -- katanas. But sure. Way, way deeper and more intricate than the Jungian intertextual post modern piece that’s so tightly knit it’s making fandom unwittingly comment on themselves.

I thought people grew out of that shit when they were like 16 unless they were incels

(My spidey senses detected someone unironically preparing to inform me about stealing borrowing the imagery from Constantine on reflex, because you know, that’s some peak intertext right there.)

Dead ASS that writing logic is that motherfucker that wanders into your freeform RP server with Spawn knockoff miasma chainsaw arms under his leather trenchcoat shooting twin Deagles with a vague story of wanting to face his demon overlord father that’s written like a looney tunes villain, in the middle of you cowriting with your lit-savvy friends trying to make a fun fantasy adaptation rendering fascism and corporate america and then he gets upset when nobody wants him to shit lightning -- /fight me/.

SERIOUSLY FOLKS. WANNA ENJOY THE SHOW AGAIN? GET SOME PERSPECTIVE. LET GO OF FETISHIZING WEIRD WARPED MEMORIES AND LINES OF ARGUMENT INSIDE YOUR OWN HEADS ISTG IT'LL HELP.

The day I find an argument that makes season 7 legit good TV rather than, at very best, “fun junk TV I had a cool ride on”, that does NOT involve evoking arguments distinctly born out of petty shipping culture arguments and/or (generally the same) attaching their own shit with a stapler to MAKE it have some sort of meaning at the time it was airing (rather than later showrunners making it add up to something), I’ll eat my fucking arm.

𝓯𝓾𝓬𝓴. Carver era had already gone through dramatic changes that deepend the scope of the show and even then, 15.09 Bobo’s The Trap held more ACTUAL commentary on this fandom than Thompson’s Fanfiction episode did as a supposed fandom-commentary episode much LESS 15.04 as an actual meta framed episode. Fanfiction was like 4 years behind and completely fucking unplugged, whereas the base of the show itself is more integrated now in these dynamics than any attempt at meta episodes back then were.

old days it took one goddamn episode of dreaming for people to 1. start talking about Freud and 2. pretend the whole everything after that was some Freudian masterpiece even when, if it were, it would have been an entire avalanche of dropped balls. But two seasons of direct citations and literal manifest avatar-bodies of Jungian psychology elements and it’s hard to pull more than a peep out of the fandom about it because they’re too busy yelling about tulpas or sirens from before most of the people around here hit puberty.

𝓕 𝓤 𝓒 𝓚

furthermore why does anyone that idolize season 7 for what they think fits their bill think season 15 is gonna end how they want when they’ve been taking the piss out of season 7 over and over and over and over again IN THE TEXT as being dumb as SHIT

𝕀ℕ 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝔽𝕌ℂ𝕂𝕀ℕ𝔾 𝕋𝔼𝕏𝕋

WHY SET YOURSELF UP FOR DISAPPOINTMENT

TO WIN TEMPORARY ARGUMENTS? THAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY LOSING FROM START TO FINISH?

actually you know what

rolling back to the whole “empty/subtextless stuff making people bust their ass” seems to be what you miss. Saying, “I miss empty, shallow, shitty writing” doesn’t really sound as good though so we change “what I like” into “this is talentless trash” it postures better, but it seems to be the people who have objectively fucking refused core tenets the show has evolved over the last 7 years, most explicitly the last 3-4, and absolutely refused to soak them in the form they deliver in. And they’re mad. Because it isn’t hollow. They can’t run around in fucking blank space and plug absolute horse shit into the voids and then posture like they’re supreme in this noncommital wasteland. Because everything’s built out and structured in and loud as fuck and people are debating the actual installed and even dogmatically cited work of philosophers driving the ideology of the show now and they can’t get away from it, and/or actually have to pay attention to the whole show and think about it all as a picture instead of the parts they want, so it’s “bad.”

I just sensed like 50 readers shoving their foot into that shoe. Good.

Jesus christ I’m pretty sure that’s what it is in hindsight after yelling all of this. These characters can’t be used as sock puppets anymore that people can win bullshit arguments unless they literally delete the entire principle of the modern show -- and this goes for MULTIPLE lanes really, each in their own way -- so now it’s “bad.” And that’s just not how this works.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

speaking of the play there’s so much to take in, which is code for me saying “i pretty much stare intently at jeremy but i also get distracted by what other people do, which gives me that info + an opportunity to later see new things i missed that jeremy was doing” but in this moment i’m just thinking about this one moment where i appreciate the details lmao

when squipped jenna appears and gets to the “and i’m feeling so connected to you right now / i just feel so Connected to you right now” and everyone who’s in the Network rolls their neck counterclockwise and brings their hand to the right side of their neck, where the connection is apparently Felt

mr reyes and jenna and jeremy’s squip are clearly totally in sync on this, whereas jeremy very noticeably isn’t ~properly~ synced in the same way, and there’s no thesis statement beyond that, i just like to go Ah The Layers

like, prior to this moment, jeremy’s had autonomy of his nervous system for a good minute or so, getitng all 2pg with michael to fight past the squipped cast to the mdr, all while jeremy’s squip apparently focuses its ability to control (or at least Prompt) people’s movements on the cast opposing them rather than trying to continue forcibly overriding jeremy’s control of his body, which is probably even more difficult thanks to jeremy feeling In Sync with michael in that moment

but and then jenna’s appearance means that she’s immediately entering the network being very aware of the connection and embracing it, which can probably only boost the Strength of the connection since she’s consciously feeding into it....like, is this giffed moment here showing jeremy’s squip leading the synchronicity as usual, or is jenna actually taking the lead seeing as the movements “accompany” her singing....probably it isn’t meant to have an unambiguous answer at this moment 

like natch everyone who’s squipped (besides jeremy) feels they’re benefitting from the network rn, but what with jenna being the Popular Kid who was really on her own within the group and felt her status was so conditional and tenuous, she’s bringing the most “i want to be part of this Whole Entire Group and have that connection” energy the most out of anyone, like, she’s probably nearly as pro-squip-everyone as jeremy’s squip is and is just like, really Contributing to the “force” of the network, hence jeremy goes from having that physical control of himself to being yanked back into sync, except he’s obviously lagging, with the Hand-To-Neck “feeling the connection” movement coming halfway through his roll and him just being pulled right into it so that he’s Back On Track

plus you can See how the squip's override is still imperfect - even with that potential Signal Boost from jenna interrupted jeremy’s streak of autonomous control, there’s the “issue” of jeremy’s lag, and it’s kind of only wrenching him around by certain physical points: he isn’t in the clean standing position that the others are, it’s throwing his balance off, and his Feeling The Connection move is basically a wince of pain that makes him stumble / further lose his balance

it’s neat you’ve got the horror-esque element of People Moving Unnaturally in the different ways of a) people moving in sync at all but also a lot better than they should and b) the neck roll alone is always weird and c) the fact that jeremy’s unnatural movement seems both more and less “natural”....the fact his movements aren’t as “perfect” as the others shows he’s still partly in control of himself, but that loss of control being Only partial means it shows how like, what’s happening is that this outside force is still able to grab hold of him via reaching into his nervous system and wrench him around that way, which is probably more unpleasant than everyone else just rolling with it

anyways seeing how the Sync and the physical control override betwixt jeremy and his squip is executed / evolves over the course of the entire show is endlessly Interesting and neat in a ooh yikes!! way often lol....and this is like, the one time maybe we see the squip’s override happen without perfect synchronization between jeremy and his own squip? it’s pretty messed up as this moment where he’s Outside The Network and all of a sudden thrown back in while making it clear that even while directly fighting against it it’s still inside him and can force him around whether he’s happy about it or not lol hghh and also that the strength of a networks’ internal signals increases the more people are in it, especially if people within it want to facilitate/amplify the connection rather than try to override it with your own conscious signals. and it’s just really wild how it’s sort of like, you’re seeing how the “force” of the Group Signal hits him differently than it does those who are properly synced up and already in position. reminds me of another horror thing that is a bit much to evoke but hey! what was the horror movie joe iconis keeps saying was a source of inspiration b/c i keep forgetting yet Wondering how the influence came into play