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wavesoutbeingtossed · 1 month ago

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When you’re ready for more mashup madness please do the tortured poets department x now that we don’t talk

I totally forgot this happened but it speaks to my interests because it’s very much about how it retrospect she’s #blessed to be out of these relationships so she doesn’t have to deal with these insufferable self important men anymore 😂

My wonderful friend, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, because this may be the first mashup I actually laughed out loud watching 😂

When I read your ask, I thought this was the one where she made the "what the fuck was I even thinking 🤪" face at the "cause we're crazy" line, and though it wasn't, I think this might have been even more peak comedy hours 😂 This may be her most precise and most explicit mashup that I've seen yet, and you know what? Good for her.gif

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First of all: you all know how much I love Girl and Her Guitar Doing a Bit at a Coffee House and this is very very very much that. And it's so funny, because TTPD and Now That We Don't Talk are both veeeeeeeeeeery quintessential Jack 80s Synth songs, but they sound sooooooooooooooo good with her little strummy guitar. Like just warmie slightly yeehaw campfire singalong vibes, I love it so much. Plus both songs showcase both her lower register AND her falsetto so beautifully, so they’re a great match not only thematically (which we will get to) but sonically as well! I just had to get that out of the way, because we're already off to a great start.

Also: a twangy “no-fuckin-body” on the strummy guitar? As much as I’m obsessed with my 80s synth baby TTPD on the album, I actually think this is the way it was meant to be sung! The range is exquisite 🤌

The theme is: Who’s gonna love you like me, now that we don’t talk?

This is such a sleeper attack, because she sings almost all of TTPD right through the bridge, and you think she’s just going for the whole thing, and then she cuts in with the TRUE ending of the story told in that song with Now That We Don’t Talk in blisteringly scathing fashion AND WE ARE HERE FOR IT!

(putting under a cut because this got long oops SORRY IT WAS TOO GOOD)

At dinner you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on, and that’s the closest I’ve come to my heart exploding… what do you tell your friends we had dinners, long weekends with? Truth is I can’t pretend it’s platonic, it’s. Just. Ended. SO. I called my mom she said to get it off my chest. Remind myself the more I gave, you’d want me less. I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost, and what it cost, now that we don’t talk.

(She flubs and actually accidentally sings “at dinner you put my ring on my middle finger” lol)

THAT transition is in fact what made me cackle out loud and scream SHE’S A COMEDIAN in my head 😂 Because that sums up the whole microwave situation depicted in TTPD the album through TTPD the song, isn’t it? One minute he was there bullshitting her with promises, and the next he was gone without a trace.

NTWDT is such a fun song because as it is it's dripping with sarcasm and complete clocking of the muse's insecurities and how they let it get in the way of genuine connection. She kicks it up about ten notches here, because she uses the transition between the two songs to denote the transition between fantasy and reality, both narratively and musically. TTPD is full of the dreamy, airy high notes, and then NTDWT is Angry Girl Hours. Now, it's also super fun because she can't actually keep a straight face and is having a blast while doing it, but she gets louder and beltier on all the NTWDT parts, especially in comparison to the TTPD notes when she blends the two songs together during the "who's gonna ... now that we don't talk" bits. She's really like: 🥰😡🤣 throughout it all lol. You can even see how much louder she gets in the waveform at the transition:

The way she moves from the wedding ring line and "that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding..." to "what do you tell your friends..." is just such a boss move, because it turns this kind of open-ended story from the original song, wondering who else is going to know her, into her reading him for filth: so, what do you tell people about what happened, huh? Because it did just end, abruptly just like that, so what the fuck was that all about? It takes all the hopes and dreams out of the wedding ring line and fizzles them out completely, revealing the absolutely mundane and predictable and infuriating disappointment of the reality of it all. So she's listening to her mama and IS GETTING IT OFF HER CHEST ALRIGHT!!! Perhaps in the form of an entire album about what a piece of shit this person is, but I digress.

She also gives peak theatre kid energy in the performance too when she sings "I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost, and what it cost" with another 😡 angry belt, because: ain't that what the whole arc comes down to on the album? She did in fact pay the price of what she lost in the entire oven-to-microwave meltdown, and what she was left with was Female Rage: The Musical. (Because the woman always pays the price. And the cost is always highest and most devastating for the woman. But again! I digress!) Luckily she's also having a ball on stage, so we all win, lol.

I love when she starts blending the two songs together heading into the last bridge:

Now that we don't talk, who's gonna hold you like me? Now that we don't talk, who's gonna know you like me? Now that we don't talk, you're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith, this ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're two idiots. Who's gonna hold you like me, now that we don't talk?

Because I think one way of reading this is that instead of the original meaning of TTPD of her almost anxious musing about what happens if this doesn't work out, and flips the script to her excoriating him. She is the one in control now. Now that you've lost me, who's going to care for you as much as I thought I did? Now that you've lost me, who's going to understand you like I would have? Now that you've lost me, you're not the special tortured artist you think you are, because I'm the one who made you special. To me it sounds very: You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you (derogatory). It turns the whole thing from a story of yearning and (questionable) hope to a scathing rebuke full of sarcasm and disdain.

I love that she included the outro of NTWDT, both because I love it and it's the most fun to sing, but also because it's such a pointed way to end the mashup! She doesn't have to lie to herself or to him that she likes all his pretentious shit! The "I don't have to pretend..." section very much ties into the "I think some things I never say, like 'who uses typewriters anyway?'" of the first part of the mashup-- because it turns out no matter who the muse is, they all fall victim to the same insecurities and insufferable proclivities.

Also knowing what we know now about the whole album, I think "And the only way back to my dignity was to turn into a shrouded mystery, just like I had been when you were chasing me," is unintentionally fitting. Because in the context of what the album ends up telling us throughout the story, the thrill of the chase (and conquering her) IS why this person went after her. The sad vulnerable girl dealing with her trauma behind closed doors WAS exactly what this person was attracted to, and the second he'd landed her, the thrill was gone for him. I generally try to look at the mashups more as their own stories, even if they've ended up reflecting the real stories told in her music, but in this case, it's too on the nose for me not to parallel with the album.

I understand why she did it musically, but I’m also totally gagged by what she chose to omit from NTWDT, and how what she included changes meaning. Gone is the slight reverence of “You part the crowd like the Red Sea,” or the incisive strike to the heart of, “Did you get anxious though on the way home?” There’s no “I miss the old ways, you didn’t have to change," because unlike past loves, there's no residual tenderness left in this particular story now that they don't talk. (There are no "old ways" to miss, because it was all built on a house of cards that never existed in the first place. IT WAS NOT A LOVE AFFAIR, as the bard herself tells us.) Instead it’s all the roasting of his bullshit that stays… both because the earlier part with little TTPD details the beginning of the relationship (that would have covered the beginning of NTWDT), thus assigning a different experience to the latter song, and because this is a very different conclusion to the title track. Or, I should say, is the actual conclusion, since the title track is an introduction to the affair, but ends before we know what happens. Well, here she tells us her own version of that.

She also doesn’t sing the “you faded till I left” chorus, keeping only the “get it off my chest” one, because again: SHE IS GETTING IT OFF HER CHEST. She’s letting the audience know exactly what happened in this version of events in this particular story. Because: HE is the one who left. This was not a slow disintegration of a situationship, this was a field hospital amputation. He didn't fade, he vanished into thin air.

Last little observation: I don’t know if it’s deliberate or just a flub, but she said “what do you tell your friends we HAD dinners, long weekends with,” not “SHARED dinners.” Could be nothing, but to me it also sounds like, much more temporary and superficial. “Shared” sounds like recurring events, intimate and tender, while “had” sounds like something that maybe only happened briefly. I'm inclined to believe it's just a flub (given the earlier one with the "put my ring on my middle finger"), but I think I like the idea that it's purposefully changed to show just how shallow it all ended up being so I'm going with it lol.

Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank you for bringing this one to my attention because it was even better than I thought it'd be!

#Pouring out my heart to a stranger but I didn't pour the whiskey #soberqueerinthewild #mashup madness #surprise songs #lisbon n2 #the tortured poets department #now that we don't talk #lol as a total aside the i don't have to pretend that i'd like to be on a mega yacht line cracks me up every time #last summer when I was in Monte Carlo (lol) i saw the marina full of the most disgustingly ostentatious yachts #and I was like 'taylor girl i get you they give ick'#once again i am not proofreading i am just word vomiting then posting into the ether

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false-anachronism · 2 months ago

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b cx3 ,,,,,.....................vvvvvvvv1vB67C4V5Otttttttttttvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvd ssssssssssssssssssssssssss^+}|20PO033

#words of wisdom from the mold spore........#whiskey yelling into the void

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wantonlywindswept · 4 months ago

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Definitely True Facts About Commander Vertex #4

He's lost everything.

[forgotten Fox AU tag]

Bucket, for the crimes of having an excellent sabacc face and a hip that seized up when moving any faster than a light jog, was often stuck manning the Guard HQ front desk.

They didn't get too many natborns coming through these days, at least, now that the CSF were forced to do their own jobs and had taken over guarding the prison. The Guard was finally back to being a protective, high-level military force instead of doing all the domestic policing and drudgework they'd been relegated to. They were still beholden to the Senate, but things had gotten better since Palpatine died and Organa took office, even if some of the Dome's denizens still saw them as little better than droids.

So Bucket didn't have to deal with that--he could, he got his name from being able to fit his demeanor to whatever the situation needed it, swapping faces like you could swap a helmet--but he did still have to deal with the regular comers and goers. Thankfully, that was mostly clones, plus the new addition of the pack of Jedi healers that descended on medbay once a week.

Interesting bunch, the Jedi. A lot more personable than Bucket had thought they would be. Surprisingly calm up until you admitted to using a soldering torch to close an acute laceration.

(It wasn't even a recent injury--it happened so long ago that it was already healed. But now Master Nema gave Bucket the stink eye whenever she saw him, like she was trying to determine how medically stupid he'd been in her absence.)

"--figure what they were going on about?"

Bucket snapped to attention as the exterior doors slid open, a placid expression settling across his features. He turned toward the voice--only to relax when he caught sight of the visitors.

"Just something about another shift in the Force," Marshal Commander Cody said, offering Captain Rex a shrug. "It's not as bad as when Palpatine died; nobody passed out this time, at least."

"Small mercies," Commander Gree observed, bringing up the rear behind them. He had four takeout containers cradled in one arm, and by the smell they were from the offensively good noodle cart that parked near the base of the Rotunda. Bucket took a deep, envious breath and decided he was definitely going there for latemeal.

This particular group of GAR troopers--along with Commanders Bly and Wolffe--were a familiar enough sight at Guard HQ. They didn't visit often, almost eternally deployed to the front lines, but whenever their leaves lined up they usually made an appearance. Bucket had never seen all five together at once, but maybe that would change now that the war was officially over and battalions were being called back to Coruscant.

"Commanders, Captain," he greeted, standing up behind the counter to salute. His second for the day, Kelari, hastily copied the action.

Cody waved the formality away with the hand sign for 'at ease', nodding at the two of them in turn.

"Sergeant Bucket," he greeted. "And I don't think I know..?"

"Private Kelari, sir!" Kelari chirped. She was still painfully shiny, wide-eyed and awestruck as she stared up at the Marshal Commander, and Bucket allowed the gaping with fond indulgence.

Kelari was one of their most recent acquisitions, part of a squadron that arrived after the death of the Chancellor. The group didn't have any direct experience with the war or the suffering that came with it, and the entire Guard were doing their damndest to make sure they never would.

"Private Kelari," Cody acknowledged, one side of his mouth ticking up. "Good to meet you."

Kelari beamed; Bucket shooed her away so he could get back in front of the security screens.

"The Jedi up to shenanigans again?" he asked as he pulled up the admittance forms.

Rex sighed, heavily, and Cody shot him an amused look.

"Let's just say," Gree said, "That it will be nice to avoid more half-coherent explanations on how the Force works now that the war's over."

Bucket snorted, starting to fill out the usual info. The Guard never got a Jedi--and with the reveal of Palpatine being a Sith, they now knew why--but he had to admit he was glad they never needed to deal with the often-inexplicable Jedi tendency to rely so much on some invisible cosmic power.

"Captain CT-7567," he recited idly as his fingers flicked across the keys, "Commander CC-2224, and Commander CC-1004, here to see --"

Bucket blinked at the 'reason for visit' box.

This batch of clones had been visiting the entire war, either by themselves or together, whenever their rare leave allowed. They came often enough that if Bucket wasn't the one that would suffer the datawork hassle later, he would have just waved them on through.

He was familiar enough with them to know that Cody's infamous scar came from a sparring accident, that Gree had three half-finished xenobiology research papers that he hoped to someday publish, and that Rex had been forcibly adopted by the CC clones without being allowed any input in the matter. He knew that Wolffe had three implanted teeth from multiple attempts at biting trainers through their armor as a cadet, and that Bly sometimes mixed up his letters and numbers and had almost been decommissioned as a result.

And Bucket had no idea what to put in the box.

"Sergeant?" Kelari asked quietly, stepping close to Bucket's side, "They're Commander Vertex's batchmates, right?"

The gentle nudge would have been helpful--Kelari was new, but she'd already learned what to do when another Guard faltered--except the intel she was working with was faulty.

It was a reasonable assumption: Thire wouldn't shut up about his batchmates, so they were all known. Ponds had already stopped by to see Stone, the rest of their batch lost to the war, while Thorn's quietly deranged batch somehow managed to stay known but off the radar. Vertex was the only Commander whose batchmates were unaccounted for.

Except Vertex didn't have any batchmates.

Cresh Squad had taken heavy losses a couple weeks ago, and Bucket had been doing his own rehab with Patches in the medbay while they were still recovering. Commander Vertex had been there speaking quietly with the survivors, going between the beds with soft words and reassuring touches. It was clear that he'd done that kind of thing before, and when he'd finally taken a moment to sit down with Defib, Bucket had overheard their conversation.

'Good going with Whiskey,' Defib said gruffly. 'He would have camped outside the medbay doors if you hadn't talked him down. Tango's stable, but it's never easy to see a batcher get hurt.'

'No,' Vertex said, sounding tired. 'It really isn't.'

'Sounds like you have experience.'

Vertex was silent for a long while.

'My batchmates,' he said eventually, 'And my command. I lost them. They're...they're all gone, now.'

'Not gone,' Defib corrected gently, 'But marching far away.'

'Not gone,' Vertex had agreed, almost too soft to hear. 'Just marching far away from me.'

Patches was a medic and Bucket knew when to keep his mouth shut, and neither of them had mentioned anything of the conversation to others. Bucket was pretty sure the other commanders knew, too, but it wasn't like they'd go around airing someone's trauma like that.

Far too much trauma to go around for all of them.

Kelari nudged him again, and Bucket blinked rapidly, hauling himself out of the memory. He lifted his gaze from the half-finished form to meet Cody's eyes.

The Marshal Commander frowned.

"We're here to see--to see..."

Missing memories weren't that uncommon, in the Guard, but as Bucket watched confusion steal across Cody's face--as that confusion shifted into unease and then panicked alarm--he didn't think that it was just a Guard problem, anymore.

#forgotten fox #commander fox #...in absentia #clone oc trooper bucket #also cody rex and gree #GOD has it only been 4 months since the last finished bit??#it has felt like 4 years #most of this will be familiar if you already read the teaser snippets i posted #it just took me four months to add in maybe 300 plot-necessary words #wheeze #this is also a rather sharp turn in vibe from the rest of the story so far #gotta get into the srs bzns now #(also whiskey and tango have a third batchmate named foxtrot)#(which isn't relevant to the story but i think i'm funny)#thorn's batchmates in this are neyo bacara doom and faie #anyway tossing this out so i can finally move on jfc

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404daydreams · 24 days ago

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"Hey you the bottle? Time to clean up my act. I know you've been a great friend for numbing me, calming my nerves always. I've failed to let you go multiple times, but now I have to. It's time and it'll be really late when I'll bleed out completely out of my body. You might be my short-term muse but you're my long term murderer."

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catz4ever · 9 months ago

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Just found out today that our beautiful Sam Hazeldine is 52 years old.

I'm sorry... 😳

WHAT!?! EXCUSE ME?!

He's two years older than Joseph Mawle and walking around like this?!

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anachronistic-falsehood · 1 year ago

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DO YOU GUYS EVER THINK ABOUT CELLTW. HOW PAC HAS BEEN HURT SO MANY TIMES AND YET HE KEEPS FORGIVING CELLBIT. HOW CELLBIT GENUINELY WANTS TO BE A GOOD PERSON. HOW CELLBIT ONCE TOLD PAC E MIKE THAT THE MONSTER THEY KNEW IN ALCATRAZ IS DEAD AND GONE. HOW HE KNEW DAMN WELL THAT “CELL” IS AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN JUST HIM, BUT DIFFERENTIATING HIM AND CELL WOULD PUT THEIR MINDS AT EASE SO HE DID IT ANYWAY AND UNKNOWINGLY FED INTO PAC’S OWN SPLIT VIEWS OF CELLBIT AND “CELL.” HOW PAC SEES CELLBIT AND CELL AS DIFFERENT PEOPLE TO MAKE IT EASIER TO COPE WITH THE FACT THAT HIS GOOD FRIEND CELLBIT, THE FELLOW FATHER OF HIS SON, IS THE REASON HE’S MISSING A LEG. HOW CELLBIT TRUSTS PAC BUT PAC IS STILL TRYING TO TRUST CELLBIT AGAIN. HOW DURING THEIR RECONCILIATION AFTER PURGATORY 2, THEY STOPPED DISCUSSING THEIR PAST BECAUSE THEY NOTICED RICHAS WAS IN DANGER AND THEY RUSHED OFF TO SAVE HIM TOGETHER. DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW DESPITE EVERYTHING, DESPITE THE BROKEN TRUST AND THE BLOOD AND THE FIGHTING, THEY’RE STILL FAMILY. DO YOU EVER

#celltw #qsmp #whiskeys word soup #I’M GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE #SORRY GUYS I’M HAVING A MOMENT RN APPARENTLY

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secretly-a-catamount · 19 days ago

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@lescahiersdesable @themimsyborogove I can’t tell if this is getting annoying or not? I feel like I’m spamming. I just don’t want to pester you guys with us or you have other stuff you wanna do have to do. 🥲 Rarepair uncertainty strikes again! Ao3 link

In short: Annabel and Malcolm go dancing at a speakeasy. 1920’s AU.

The spun onto the dance floor gracefully, a bottle of whiskey held between them.

Annabel was a Revelation: beaded dress, stockinged-feet — their shoes were thrown somewhere behind them, discarded in a lonesome pile — blood-red lips, hair cut short in a boy’s styling.

She drunk deeply, then broke free of his arms, spinning out of his reach and continuing to dance on her own, swaying like a charmed snake and stamping her feet in time with the beat of the music.

Malcolm fitted his lips to where hers had been on the neck of the bottle, and drank, watching her all the while over the lip.

The whiskey was bitter.

Her lipstick was sweet.

And he was dreadfully, terrifyingly in love with his best friend.

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 3 months ago

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clear-headed anon I don't want to post your entire message for perhaps obvious and less-obvious reasons, but I did want to respond to some of your message:

it does baffle me how taylor can describe in multiple songs how absolutely miserable, exhausted, depleted she felt emotionally and mentally before even getting involved with mh and think this was a woman who had all her wits about her and was making clear-headed decisions at that point in time. add to that the pressures of the public, the invasiveness of the media and the ruthlessness of the music industry itself, all while hitting a new stratospheric peak in her career, she was battling a million demons and just trying to survive.

I'm not trying to make judgments on other people's interpretations at this point, and the anon conversation from last week reminded me that everyone brings their own experiences (joyful and painful) to the table, and that I, nor anyone, should paint everyone with the same brush. People have the right to feel the way they feel, which is why my stance at this point is, "I'm not going to convince you, and you're not going to convince me, so we'll have to agree to disagree and move on from the topic." Words are also easily misconstrued and misinterpreted online, especially via anon asks, and that experience also reminded me that for the most part, we are all just people behind keyboards. And unless it's someone who's very obviously out to harass or live in delusion (as some blogs experience in greater volume), most of the time, we're just all here trying to get our thoughts out. I am trying my best to lead with kindness and not pile on people.

So all that being said:

There is such a deep undercurrent of pain and sadness from folklore on in Taylor's music (at the very least, and you could argue rep or Lover in some cases I'm sure too) that was palpable at the time and now in hindsight, knowing what we know and after having digested TTPD for a year, make it clear how much she was struggling individually and within her relationship, and how those things fed off each other. She was already clearly in a deep state of unwellness (for lack of better term) before ever reconnecting with Matty, and that's why I said in the earlier ask that I am inclined to believe her latching onto him was an unfortunate confluence of opportunity and other things. There's no way to know this, and I don't want to write fanfic about real-life people, but just based on my own experiences and observations of my own circle, I would hazard a guess that she would have projected the things she did onto Matty on anyone who had shown her kindness and interest at that point in her life. The difference IMO (again, from her own writing, and from my experience with friends who have gone through eerily similar situations), is that he also knew it, and the vulnerable state she was in was the draw to him.

I'm not going to detail what that vulnerable state was, because again, you can listen to the music and read between the lines of Midnights and TTPD (and arguably everything she put out between 2020 and 2024) to understand what that was, but it was heavy and painful and life-changing.

And as I've said repeatedly, it's not to remove Taylor's agency from anything. She made the choices she made, she has owned the choices she's made, and she has implored people-- fans, the media, probably even her own social circles at various points-- to let her own those choices, no matter how destructive. But as I have also repeatedly said, nothing exists in a vacuum. You cannot separate the external factors (e.g. the way her partner was treating her, the actions he was or was not taking, the treatment by the Other Man, the media, etc.) from the internal factors (her mental health, her trauma, her grief, her desires, her ambition, etc.).

So IMO, yes you can say, "I disagree with her choices" (e.g. of who to sleep with or whatever), but a) that's not your call to make at all on her life and b) the choices she made were coloured by the information she had at the time. And at the time, I'd hazard to guess she didn't really have the language or understanding of what was happening to her (e.g. emotionally/psychologically), nor did she have the full picture of what was being done to her by the person she was latching onto (e.g. that his intentions were not honourable, and that his motivations were not in line with her best interests in the end). So like, yes, individually these choices feel questionable to bystanders on the outside, but within the situation, it was a million different pieces shattering.

And again: I cannot stress enough how important the experience of grief is to understand TTPD (and frankly, Midnights, but that's another topic). And I'm not saying that to dismiss others' experiences of grief, and that they make other choices in their own grief and trauma. But my point is: everyone experiences it differently, and frankly, everyone's brains try to protect themselves in different ways. And when you have a bunch of different factors coalescing at once, it's not a surprise that someone in Taylor's situation with her set of factors may react differently to the way you or I might.

Taylor is so lucky that a) her inner circle is so, so strong and looks out for her best interests and was there to support her when she needed it and b) that she was presumably able to get help (in whatever form that took) after the crash and has seemingly come out the other side not only OK, but thriving and with a better understanding of herself and what happened, and has managed to find herself in a much healthier place than she was before any of this started.

she was so incredibly brave for getting this all off her chest the way she did. to the people who don’t see that narrative now, i hope they see it someday.

I'm inclined to agree. As far as any of us knew, it was a short-lived messy rebound and she could have let that narrative live for the rest of her days. Instead she put it all out there and IMO has opened conversations about not only what happens in these traumatic experiences, but also broader conversations about womanhood, gender roles, misogyny, mental health, etc. I don't know if she's being told about these things, but if so, I hope she's proud of that because they're so important and it's so gratifying to see a woman put it all out there. Taylor's life is highly abnormal and the specific situations she faces are unique, but the emotional experiences are so painfully normal and common that I think it's beautiful how people have found themselves in her music and specifically in TTPD.

#Pouring out my heart to a stranger but I didn't pour the whiskey #anonymous #cause i know that it's delicate #muses acquired like bruises #the tortured poets department #Also thank you for your kind words!

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