#who got who what in secret santa this year lmk

[valentinesfrog]

SVU Lawyers as Mugs I Found on Etsy Alex Cabot:

Abbie Carmichael:

Rita Calhoun:

Sonny Carisi:

Casey Novak:

Rafael Barba:

Liz Donnelly:

Bonus: Carmen

[talkintrashcann]

Can I call you mine this year? - Xavier Thorpe

Summary: you celebrate new year's eve together with your friends and give out gifts, counting down to the new year and while you were busy admiring the fireworks outside, someone else was admiring you 🎇

Warnings: just fluff really, kissing, mention of fireworks, lmk if i missed anything

Word count: 1.2k

A/N: i really don't know how to feel about this title but i couldn't think of anything else im sorry. i would also like to wish you all a happy new year, and i hope you enjoy!

Requests: to the person that sent me a request, im currently working on it but wanted to post this one first, any other requests are always welcome btw, could also be different genre from what i usually make

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"Omg this is so pretty, thank you thank you thank you thank youuu", Enid said to you while suffocating you in a hug. You and your friends were having a new year's party together and decided to do a secret santa, everyone pulled a card last month with the name of the person they had to make a gift for. Since you wanted to avoid someone getting a cheap lame gift, everyone had to diy their present. This way everyone would get an authentic and personal gift, which turned out to be one of the greatest decisions you've ever made.

Once Enid finally let you go from her tight grip, it meant you were up next. You still didn't know who pulled your name, so you looked around at the people that haven't given a gift yet. It could be Wednesday, Eugene, Divina, or Xavier. You saw Xavier get out up from his seat and walk towards you with a huge grin on his face, he placed his gift to you on your lap before returning to where he was sitting. You looked suspiciously at Xavier before shifting your attention back to the present. It had a rectangular shape and was very flat, an idea of what it could be already coming to your mind. As you carefully unwrapped your gift, your eyes widened at the sight of it.

"Xavier this is beautiful.", you looked up at him again with your mouth slightly open from shock. He had made a drawing of you, which was what you had expected, but you didn't think it would be a drawing of you out in the snow. A few days ago, you and your friends went for a walk in the forest as it had snowed overnight which caused the entire domain to be covered in a thick layer of snow. You were looking at the drawing again, recollecting memories from that day, when suddenly the drawing moved. He was using his powers to bring his gift to life right in front of your eyes. You could now see the snow slowly falling from the sky, laughter could be seen on your face. It was truly one of your favourite moments with your friends, and now you can remember this time forever because of this artwork.

“That’s not fair, he’s using his powers to impress them even more!”, Ajax yelled out causing everyone to laugh a little. Obviously, Xavier would use his powers for your present, he knows how fascinating you find it when he does that. He knew that if he didn’t show you now, you’d probably be begging him to do it later.

You were the one getting up from your seat this time, walking over to Xavier to pull him into a tight hug. "Thank you so much, this has got to be one of the best presents I've ever gotten.". You gave him a very small kiss on his cheek to express how grateful you are for what he gave to you.

The secret santa continued and soon enough it was time to count down for the new year to start. Everyone was standing around the television, looking at the timer going down. You can’t believe another year already went by, and that you get to say goodbye to 2022 with all these new friends you’ve made on the way. Everyone’s eyes were glued to the screen as the last minute went in, while you were looking around at the people you loved most. A smile crept up your face, a part of you didn’t want the year to be over yet, but part of you also couldn’t wait to see what the new year would bring you. What crazy adventures you’d experience with the group, if you would finally start living up to those new year’s resolutions, and if you might meet the person that belongs with you. At that exact moment, you made eye contact with Xavier. He was already looking at you, who knows for how long, a soft smile was plastered on his face as well. You felt like he could look right through you, like he could hear every thought of yours.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1…HAPPY NEW YEAR”

Everyone jumped up with joy, embracing the people around them. While everyone was celebrating the new year, you and Xavier were still looking at each other, it felt like your eyes were glued to his and his to yours. But after what felt like an eternity, Enid pulled you into a big hug which caused you to break the eye contact. After letting go of Enid, you went around the room giving the others a hug too. As you were hugging Bianca, you looked out the balcony window to see fireworks going off outside. You’ve always loved to watch the fireworks so without looking back at anyone, you went outside on the balcony to admire the spectacle happening in the distance.

The sound of the footsteps coming near you made you turn around to see who it was, your eyes locking with Xavier once more. The others were still inside dancing and singing to some music, but you didn’t pay attention to them at all. All you could hear was the distant crackling noise of the fireworks, and all you could see was Xavier standing dangerously close to you now. You smile at him before looking up at the sky, being completely mesmerized by the lights. Xavier was too, but by something else he found captivating.

“Isn’t it beautiful?”, you ask not taking your eyes off the tiny explosions.

“Incredibly beautiful.” Xavier responded but you noticed he wasn’t looking up at the night sky like you were, instead he was looking directly at you. You turned your head into his direction, faces only inches away from one another. You could feel your entire body heating up, you were certain your face had turned a dark shade of pink. For a second, you saw his eyes look at your lips, but they quickly went back up to meet your eyes. The fireworks reflected in his pretty green eyes, making this moment feel even more magical than it did before. Without realizing it, the both of you were moving closer to each other. And before you knew it, his soft lips had found their way to yours. The kiss was slow but passionate, your hands pulling him in closer by his neck while he did the same with your waist. It felt as if there were fireworks going off inside the two of you, and neither of you wanted it to ever end.

After what felt like forever, you slowly pulled away for a second to catch your breath, your noses still touching. “I like you, a lot.”, you heard him say and you would be lying if you said it didn’t make you feel things inside. “I really like you too.”, you returned the feeling by making him feel warm now.

“Can I call you mine this year?”

Without saying anything, you pulled him in for another kiss, hoping this would give him the answer he wanted. As you were deep in your thoughts, you could hear loud cheering coming from inside and when you looked at the window once more, you saw all your friends basically sticking to the window. Assuming they heard his question and saw your response very clearly, it looks like you weren’t the only ones waiting for this to happen.

If this is how the new year started, you can’t wait to see what the future holds.

[hwaightme]

The Chemistry of Christmas

❄️ pairing: hongjoong x fem!reader (+implied woosan) ❄️ genre: fluff, christmas, opposites attract, mutual pining ❄️ summary: How could two people with such different views hope for the same thing? You, a logical and ambitious professional hiding a torrent of emotion within just to pave your future. Kim Hongjoong, your kindhearted and gentle friend and co-worker, who wants nothing more than to live in the moment. In this battle against time counting down to Christmas, will you be able to find your forever and make your wish come true? ❄️ wordcount: 10.6k ❄️ warnings/tags: language, explicit mention of alcohol, some get drunk, suggestive (very much so at times so minors please be mindful), ateez is a research group, christmas getaway, reader is ambitious and got that powerful energy, shy hongjoong, opposites attract, tension, back and forth, woo tormenting hwa like no tomorrow, hj and reader are nanoscientists, a bit of a work au, lmk if anything else ❄️ a/n: hello everyone! I'd like to wish you all a very merry Christmas and thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love and support you give. I am wishing for this celebration to bring you joy and adoration! I hope you enjoy this piece, and stay tuned for more to come! Reblogs, likes and follows always welcome <3

Magic in the air.

As though by a mysterious force, the city transformed in unison to a festive wonderland, much to the delight of its dwellers and visitors alike.

From the gorgeous trees to the intricate storefront decorations, to the aroma of sugar and spice travelling in the air from the cosy markets, the season was truly the one that kept on giving.

If that was not enough this year took things up a notch, with impressive snowfall for the majority of December. The quaint suburban neighbourhoods had come to look like miniatures from beloved fairy tale stories, while the high streets and city centre had taken on an astonishing glow. The temperatures kept on dropping, while the hearts of those around kept on getting warmer.

For you, Christmastime was most probably the best time of the year. You adored wishing merriness to the assistants at your favourite shops. Walking past the myriad of houses with wreaths, spotting Christmas trees glowing within and seeing people simply living in the miracle put a pep in your step. The exclusive beverages that were released just this time of year instantly were on your list to try, and never failed to cheer you up, ready for the day ahead.

And that was the secret behind how you came into work, beaming, in the depths of the ‘gloomy winter’, cheeks and nose flushed from the biting cold. The institute, where you were proud to be a fulltime researcher in the nanoscience department, could not escape from the cheer either and as you traversed the many corridors of your second home, the offices and laboratories bore hints of the season, be it in a stray bauble or bell on a door handle, or a bow pinned to a wall.

As you turned the corner, you did your research group’s usual routine of saluting the skeleton you permanently borrowed from the medicine department, now dressed up as Santa Claus. You were careful to not spill the tray of hot drinks you had picked up on the way as you completed the gesture. Noticing a couple more holiday cards set down on the floor under it, you hummed in approval. This was what academia was all about, folks. Slow and steady, you swiped your card on the scanner right above your office’s handle and followed with a practiced push down and shouldering of the door. This space was shared between you, and eight other fantastic researchers – all of you recent graduates, brought together by

The office was fairly large albeit bland, with space for nine desks – all in threes, with one to the far left against the wall, and two rows facing each other in the centre of the room. Each sported an ancient monitor and computer that were left unchanged because they still worked and were the only system that could be trusted with running the expensive and time-consuming simulations.  A dramatic irony for any budding scientists-to-be who were all about innovation and equated research to being on a spaceship straight out of a science fiction movie. To the right was the ‘recreation station’ – a line of furniture collected from yard sales and second-hand shops, namely a duo of flimsy terrace chairs under the far window, a couch that had to undergo extensive treatment to get the stench of cigarettes out of it, and one of the better investments: a movable cupboard that housed kitchen paraphernalia and a microwave.

This was where you set down the tray, out of fear that if you were to tempt fate any longer, you were going to bring less than welcome floor decorations to the shared space. Besides, you did not want to be scolded by the resident cleanroom aesthetics activist, who was already giving you concerned glances from across the room. It was still surprisingly empty, given the time. You glanced at the clock on the wall, barely making out a 8:30AM on the dot behind the snowman face that someone taped on. You sure knew how to time your commutes down to a t. Right, time to get started.

“Good morning how is everyone doing?” you called out to the four men who had already arrived and were sleepily checking through their emails.

The chorus of greetings and friendly waves as they got out of what was a near trance was enough to remind you why you were grateful to be working here. Even on days when all of you were busy, or when life was continuously throwing stress tests, all you had to do was call out, and they would be there.

The youngest of the crew, Jongho, was quick to get up and saunter over to you. He looked expectantly at the drinks, while you took off your hat and ruffled your hair.

“Good morn’, Y/N, I see you are starting off early with the celebrations huh?”

“Never too early to pre-game, man, never too early. Here is your americano, by the way.” You turned to pick out the coffee, still piping, and passed it over to your colleague.

“Life saver, thanks.”

You watched in awe as he took a sip with a completely straight face, your own mouth feeling the ghosts of a burn. Fighting the shudder that was about to run down your body, you decided to unpack the carrier tray fully, and leave the rest of the drinks at their respective target desks. While doing so, two of your other close colleagues, Seonghwa and Yunho, approached you, pretending as though they were not about to snatch their beverages and run into hiding. You raised an eyebrow as Yunho did a little crab-like sidestep around you, having spotted his requested latte and wanting to reach for it.

“Go ahead, be my guest.”

“Thanks, and guess what, the Christmas crackers that had been delayed have arrived this morning!” he fist pumped the air as you thanked him for agreeing to sacrifice his apartment for any extra deliveries.

Once more, you turned to Seonghwa, who gave you an appreciative grin once you informed him that he was to receive a hot chocolate. Afterwards, you were quick to position the drinks on the respective four desks closest to you, saving your order and that of the man who was now standing before you, for last.

“Good morning, Y/N, thank you so much for this. Exactly what I needed.” He expressed, his musical voice washing over you.

“Good morning, Hongjoong.” You could not help but drop your voice into a half-whisper, unable to retain the previously more friendly and confident composure upon seeing his glinting eyes. Gazing at you as though, in that moment, you were the only one to exist in this space.

He pointed at the coat that you were yet to take off, inquiring “need help with that?”. You happily obliged.

He had to be the closest thing there was to an embodiment of benevolence. Ever since you had met him in your second year of university, him being your senior and assistant in one of your classes, you noticed just how natural it was for him to connect with others, make them feel seen, understood, and appreciated. He was the type of man to sacrifice time even for the smallest of troubles, and you had seen him staying late again, and again, to help your peers with their work, their projects, and on the odd occasion, life troubles.

You had been amazed his having never treated the evident exploitation in an outwardly aggressive manner, instead independently choosing to sit and answer question after question, treating them all equally and repeating himself without a single inkling of doubt that he was merely doing his job. Initially you decided that this was not for you to inquire into, Hongjoong being fully capable of figuring things out for himself as a hardworking and high-achieving student. But that decision had not lasted even an hour, as in the class you had discovered obvious signs of fatigue. When you had heard your peer question him about his personal life and he fell into an awkward silence, you took it as a green light to steal him away, practically dragging him out of the door and wildly tapping in numbers on the coffee machine. Coincidentally, it was also winter then.

Since that exact moment, you and Hongjoong had become partners in crime. You would never admit it out loud, but he had been at the forefront of your mind when choosing what you were going to do with your life after university, even though you had told yourself time and time again that there was no chance, and that you should reduce your feelings to the nanoparticles that you studied.

As much as Hongjoong was there for you, his altruism and innate ability to bring people together, to lead, had unintentionally put some distance between you. Not that he could notice. He was oblivious to how you yearned for even a minute more of his time. He was likely unaware of how he was making you feel as he helped you take off your coat, hanging it on the rack with indescribable gentleness. How you melted like a snowman in the sunlight at his small gestures, how he took great care to let you walk to your workspace first and followed you with the early morning brews. If you had to describe what he was to you, to put it simply, he was your Christmas.

In a way, he was the opposite of you. You were that loud, heart on your sleeve type, bouncing off the walls if the energy in the room was right and sinking into the darkest brooding if you were to sense it. For the most part, you had figured out how to convert this energy into high octane work fuel, and no matter if you were going up or down on the roller coaster that was life, you found a way to use it. Be it by burning the midnight oil and letting cortisol guide you writing your thesis (which you had scolded Hongjoong for before, but he had graduated by the time the honour was bestowed upon you, so he did not have to know), or by repeating that everything was going to turn out okay like a mantra. You laboured away at bending the natural twists and turns of the ride, which was so unlike Hongjoong, that you could not help but be drawn to him and his inimitable openness.

You were one to feel hard and deeply, no matter how hard you tried to supress it. And this was both a curse and a blessing. To your advantage, you could enjoy the small moments, like you and four of the eight wonderful people who you had the honour of calling your friends after some time working together, sitting in the quietude of a cosy office that acted as your base of operations. Much to your disadvantage, you were very acute to Hongjoong’s presence immediately to your right, as he pushed his seated form closer to you. The rolling chairs hit one another with a soft thud as he leaned further forward to position his elbow securely on the desk and rest his head on the palm of his hand.

“Are you looking forward to the party tonight?” for a split second his voice sounded almost desperate, as though he was searching for something, or seeking confirmation. Any worry that you might have caught on his features quickly dispelled, however, as you mirrored his position and responded, studying him.

“Of course, I am. Getting to celebrate my favourite season with my favourite people, what more could I ask for?” you were not going to mention that you were looking forward to seeing Hongjoong sporting an ugly Christmas sweater, as commanded by the mutually agreed dress code, though you had no doubt that he would be able to pull anything off. On Halloween he managed to make a Despicable Me minion-inspired costume look a bit too good.

“Probably for your secret Santa to have actually taken their job seriously this year around, unlike-”

“Hey, Mingi was… considerate.” You interjected but failed to make a strong point as you recalled the hilarious combination of a nachos packet and a box of tissues, wrapped in paper that insinuated it was suddenly your birthday.

Whilst Hongjoong had been mortified, and Mingi was stock still, ears burning, the rest of the group had a blast breaking down into a laughing fit that had returned many times over the evening. This selection had obviously been made just after an event three days before the exchange, when you had knocked into Hongjoong full force, making him spill distilled water over much of your top.  

“If you say so, but I bet this year is going to be much more exciting,” he winked. Luckily, he did not spot you stiffen at the action, as he was momentarily distracted by a notification, alerting him of a meeting he had to attend soon.

“Do you know who my secret Santa is, by any chance?” you tried, fluttering your eyelashes in a playful manner. He hummed, and lightly shook his head in disapproval, though his lips were curling into an adorable smile.

“Ah, I cannot neither confirm nor deny that, besides why would I ruin the anticipation? Patience is a virtue, etcetera, etcetera.”

“Says the guy who literally tried to speed run the preparation of a colloidal solution.” Seonghwa chided, looking over from his seat at the two of you, causing Hongjoong to make a sharp turn in his chair and argue that ‘it was an experiment and that he wanted to see what would happen just once’.

This was the never-ending debate of your office, so intrinsic to its function that you all ended up agreeing to set aside parts of the official group budget and of any new funding for something you had deemed ‘chaos expenses’ or, as once kindly called by Yeosang when someone had tampered with the electron microscope, ‘dipshit insurance’. You laughed at the exchange between the oldest members of your group, an unbeknownst to you, sent a shimmering light into your brunette deskmate’s chest.

He would do anything to hear your melodic laugh, or to watch your features soften as you let go of any stress that had plagued you. Thus, he had taken great pains to work behind the scenes for you, be it intercepting some unnecessary paperwork or figuring out laboratory access times for the entire team so that you could have your favourite slots. Sure, these were acts that benefitted everyone, but only your ‘thank you Joongie’ remained with him. The first thing he had taken note about you was just how valuable time was for you. How you spent it, where you spent it, with whom. So, he did the best he could to try to give you time that, as of late, had become his worst enemy.

In a way, you were the opposite of him. Whilst Hongjoong was one to strive for attempting every single thing in the book that was to do with whatever his passion was at a given point in time, you were one to be highly selective and strategic in your decision-making. As soon as he had spotted you in that one class for which he tutored, you gave off the impression of someone who already had everything figured out, or at least carried themselves very well, head held high and prepared to fight for what you wanted.

On the days when he doubted himself, Hongjoong would refer to himself as a jack of all trades, but master of none. The jack who never quite got why you had asked for his help in tutoring you anyways, but oh how grateful he was. You had appeared beside him, a saving grace, when he was about to collapse after over twenty-four hours of no sleep, vision blurry, struggling to process a single phrase. He could put up a powerful front, sure, and when he had presented his research at conferences, or was a representative of the university, and then the institute at various exhibitions and open days he was commended for his eloquence and ability to draw a crowd in. But that was what it was – a front. As soon as he was back to his and Seonghwa’s shared apartment, he wanted nothing more than to curl up and enjoy a steaming cup of coffee and let his mind wander. Reassess his work, seek unique paths to innovation, imagine what discoveries lied out there, waiting for him. To him, ironically, science was an art.

In his eyes, you were what should be under the word ‘scientist’ or ‘researcher’ in the dictionary. Every bit a logistician, you were the goal setter, the ambitious future leader. Leaving the experimental work to your collaborators, you were one to seek rationality and clear-cut formulas, to describe phenomena once and for all. You were driven to find truth in mystery, and positioned yourself as someone who was patient, strong-willed and would not veer off a path you had your mind set on. He had observed that you were equally as selective with who you were to allow to be part of your closer social circle, and very clearly knew your likes and dislikes.

This was why Hongjoong was confident that his blooming feelings were one sided. It was a dreamer versus grounded realist situation, but the dreamer could not help but fall. And fall deep. If he had to describe you in the spirit of the season, you would be a winter night. Freshly fallen snow, illuminated by fairy lights strung on pines next to whimsical brick houses, from which peered the domesticated fashionistas, adorned by baubles and garlands. You were the silent night, calm and bright.

 When he had drawn your name out of the Santa hat that San was approaching everyone with a mere three weeks ago, dread filled him to the brim. It was the first time, since he had come to terms with his not so platonic feelings towards you, that he was being given the chance to give you something. And he was not going to let this slide as a silly tradition that was meant to be there for laughs and eventually, for the gift. No, he wanted something bigger, something that would be valuable to you, or at least make you reminisce.

After a bombardment of your respective inboxes by yet another email chain from one of the seniors, both of you settled down to get to work, pausing only to greet the late comers who had collectively groaned in discontent, comically lamenting the now lukewarm drinks. As you typed you took glances at Hongjoong out of the corner of your eye as he reviewed some notes he stored in a tattered manila folder, delicate ring-adorned hands flicking through the pages. It was easy to fall for the undivided attention he was capable of giving. It was especially easy for you, being someone who could not stop rushing, with a permanent tunnel vision. This was why you loved Christmas, and at this time of year, wanted to believe in miracles.

Hongjoong could sense your intermittent observation with his half-turned body and prayed you would not notice the light nervous tremor he was battling to hide. Albeit it was barely there, like snowflakes ending their dance on warm gloved hands, it was enough to envelop him and make him lose sense, anchoring only to your strong and sanguine being. As he began to gather his belongings and gave you and his friends a light wave to signify his departure to meet with his supervisor, his mind travelled to tonight.

During the year when the entire group had begun working together, and moved into the office, the door of which he had just propped open, by a shared initiative and the lack of desire to drift home to their families earlier than necessary, they had organised a new tradition for themselves. A break from the regular holiday routine in the form of a friendly get-together, with specially curated Christmas playlists, movies, mulled wine (perhaps a little bit too much mulled wine), and every other practice or interpretation that they could think of. So far, there had only been two such events, but not a single one of the large friend group could imagine celebrating in any other fashion.

This year, the festivities were bound to be different for Hongjoong. This year he was finally not foolish enough to deny that all of his wishes were dedicated to you, and that he wanted to be more than background music, more than someone on the side lines to you. Though you sat side by side, saw each other more often than the comfort of your own homes, this type of closeness was not enough for him. Hongjoong could imagine a barrier between you and him, a construction of whosever doing. He was sure you did not need him.

Much as you were sure he had never attributed anything aside from common courtesy and platonic affection to you.

Both you and Hongjoong, unbeknownst to one another, were wishing for the same thing this Christmas.

There was a major change of setting for the party from last year, when the nine of you had been crammed into the apartment that San and Wooyoung shared. By a stroke of pure luck, an uncle of Seonghwa’s had decided to travel abroad for the entire duration of the holidays, and upon hearing that his nephew was to be celebrating with what was presented to him as ‘highly professional company’, offered to give free reign of a cottage outside of the capital to the group. Under Seonghwa’s strict supervision, of course, but that went without mention.

After the clock had striked the mandatory early end to your workday, the group had scrambled to make it in time for the train, arriving at the station with only minutes to spare, and wading through swarms of travellers about to make similar journeys. The near miss had sent you reeling, but you bit back the string of curses and melted into bliss once you had taken in the shared optimistic mood of the crowd. Somehow, even the slow walkers with monstrous suitcases that were ready to burst did not phase you as you sank into your seat by the window.

You glossed over the platform and antique buildings that lined the tracks as the train departed. Previously polluted and unsightly, with soot caking the ventilators and any stone within immediate line of fire from the screeching train brakes, it was now laying under a blanket of glistening white, dormant until the winter chose to retire.

Hongjoong was equally mesmerised, peering over your form while unzipping his hefty bag to take out a camera. It was a vintage number, one he had stumbled across during a trip to an artisan market, and after tinkering with it for what had turned out to be a total of two months, selected it for this trip.

He was adamant, even being questioned repeatedly why he had an affinity for a camera that required film whilst he was working on nano electronics, that this camera was the best way to tell the story of the next couple of days the group was staying at the cottage. And he knew that you would be the first to understand.

As you pressed yourself into your seat to let Hongjoong snap a picture, took his concentration on the scenery behind the viewfinder as amble time to regard and commit the artist behind the camera to memory. How a stubborn lock of rich onyx locks hovered right over his soft brow, having made its escape out of the woolen hat he wore. How his glasses with a delicate golden frame suited his sculpted face perfectly, even tilted down to give way to the apparatus in his steady hands. He was one for keeping memories, snapshots to highlight the priceless instances that others plead for in times of need.

"Stay like that for a second." His dulcet tone took you out of your daze, and you shook your head in embarrassment, realising that he probably caught you ogling him.

"What?"

"Just do it for me, please?" He repeated himself, camera at the ready.

"Oh, come on, don't waste film."

"Who says waste? You'd be the best part." He whispered, unable to return your scrutiny and studying the leather detailing on the body of the camera.

"Cringe, but I'll let it slide." You finally uttered, laughing airily, and striking a pose.

Right when you were in motion, not a thought in mind except about the anticipation of the celebration ahead, Hongjoong snapped a segment of that joy, more satisfied than he let on.

Playful, you shifted in your seat and moved to place your hands over his. You were likely pushing it, but with the seasonal buzz fuelling you, your usual stoicism and preference to influence others with words only, could be stored. Despite the fact that you were of the opinion that you were not right for Hongjoong, and that you did not possess the delicate, nurturing aura he deserved, you were enticed by competition and challenge. Seeing him be friendly to others, going from meeting to meeting to appease even those who had much to learn from him, made you want to fight for his attention. You wanted him to be captivated by you, and you alone.

You took pleasure in his widening eyes and lips parting, as though in longing. It almost made you believe that he too, wanted something more than just the normal chatter about the superficial that you shared, and his avoidance of being in the same room for extended periods of time when it was just the two of you. As his orbs dashed from left to right, up and down, you scanned every part of his oh so irresistible face, and only shared with him a smirk to describe your intentions. In a blink you pried the prized possession out of his slackened grasp and in one swipe got the attached strap over his head. Simultaneously, all hints of the near sadistic taunting evaporated, and you were back to being an upbeat, jolly passenger on her way to indulge in festivities.

"Now you. Pose, Joongie!"

Your transition from an overwhelmingly intense stare down to now giggling and instructing him, singsong and almost childish, drove Hongjoong wild. It was as though under your outwardly collected and amiable demeanour there was a turbulent river, dangerously alluring and intoxicating. Much to his dismay, the moments you let this side of yourself shine through were few and far between, as rare as a blue moon.

It had not been the first time he had encountered this version of you, however. The first, one he did not need photographs of to burn into his retinas, was when he had completely forgotten about his promise to attend the institute-wide New Year's party last year, instead remaining in one of the laboratories, immersed in modelling the design of a nano robot that had been giving him much trouble.

When it was already approaching an hour before the monumental strike of midnight, you had appeared off to his side like a shadow, a lab coat loosely draped over your shoulders and, underneath it, revealing a breathtaking cerulean blue dress that highlighted all of your best features. He gulped. You were beautiful. So beautiful that it left him terrified.

Placing your manicured hands on his stiffened shoulders, you had purred in his ear, demanding he were to join you that instant at the party, adding that it was lonely without him, especially in a sea of tipsy researchers. He had not dared to even try saying anything in response, having become impossibly malleable putty under the challenging, unreadable once-over you gave him that he swore burned his skin.

And when during the party itself you had rapidly disappeared from his company, busying yourself with entertaining far too many of his colleagues for his liking, he came to the revelation that the one who he had considered to be his younger colleague, an ambitious professional who he had enjoyed working with and had a bond with all the way from his evolution through university, had control over his very being.

After that night, all he could envision when you approached him in the laboratories was that New Year’s. Hongjoong was afraid of just how much he yearned for your touch and for your command, directed at him, unintentionally sultry. So, he had made it a point to try use his friends as buffers between him and you, even though it was going against all that he wanted and needed and led to the others figuring out pretty quickly that he was not indifferent.

The first had been Seonghwa, who, admittedly, did well in maintaining his composure when Hongjoong grew undeniably shy around you, but then made the great mistake of mentioning the tension in the lab offhandedly to the resident chaos bringers. And once San and Wooyoung knew, everybody knew. Except you, because what would be the fun in that, right? A couple of times he had been threatened with being locked in a closet with you until he confessed, mainly by Jongho who sat on the other side of him in the office and was fed up with the dynamic that his recently single self did not want to deal with. Every time Hongjoong fought back with promises to confess later, and later, until now, nearing exactly a year since, he felt almost out of time. There was an urgency in his actions in the weeks approaching tonight, and your teasing wasn’t helping at all.

He swallowed his desire to close the space between you, and mimicked how you had posed for him, causing another chuckle. Soon enough, he too, was immortalised in that roll of film, your two photographs as mirror images of one another.

The rest of the journey outside the capital had passed as smoothly as it could, since you did not have to suffer the fate of being sat in front of or behind any of your rowdier friends, namely the discord duo and two of the tallest members of your group, who only needed a small catalyst to turn into hilarious menaces. They had occupied a four-seater with a table on the other side of the carriage and, after Yunho revealed a set of Cards Against Humanity that he had hidden in his mini suitcase, were now cackling uncontrollably at round after round. Eventually, Yeosang, who had previously been fully immersed in daydreaming with his noise-cancelling headphones on, decided to join them, and left the group dumbfounded at his beating San’s five-point lead.

Jongho was right behind you, typing without a minute’s pause on his laptop, and Seonghwa, who had occupied aisle seat behind Hongjoong, was in his own world, disconnected from the turmoil two metres away from him, probably zoning out to ASMR. The entire ride was dedicated to you and your seatmate, and after running out of things that you and him in your positively excited, but nervous states had deemed appropriate to discuss, agreed to share earphones and listen to some festive jams to set the mood. Soon enough, you were both quiet, with Mariah Carey’s hit taking on a slightly different meaning than last season.

“Wooyoung, please be careful and don’t fall down from the table. As much as I do enjoy cleaning I don’t want to clean a crime scene-” Seonghwa’s voice rang out across the house as preparations for the party were in full swing.

“I DO WHAT I WANT, MOM! And I am doing important work here, look at this beauty!” the younger retorted after putting finishing touches on the festive arrangement he decided to do on the living room chandelier, and hopping down from the piece of furniture, spiderman style.

You had to admit, it did not look terrible, though perhaps just a tad garish. At least he tried. You shrugged to yourself and turned back to place the final bauble on the Christmas tree that Jongho had been tasked to find and lug to the cottage as soon as you all had arrived.

The cottage was located on the outskirts of a small town, though even saying outskirts made the settlement appear much larger than it was in reality. It consisted of houses dotted around the wintery landscape and some clusters built up closer to the station and the high street - a single line dedicated to all forms of shopping and recreation now converted into a quaint Christmas market. The residents had not disappointed when it can to decoration either, with their porches and roofs made to look as though the walls were supposed to be made of gingerbread. When the group was making the trek to Seonghwa’s uncle’s vacant abode, you had also spotted a church a little further out, its gothic spires appearing to pierce the rapidly darkening sky and stained glass glowing from what had to be a myriad of candles within. This location looked to be a perfect holiday hallmark movie set.

As soon as you all dropped off your belongings in various rooms, with you being given the honour of having your own one, everyone got to work. The plan of operations, consisting of phases and checkpoints, was under administration of the two eldest, and yourself in the role of what Mingi had called ‘vibe control’, seeing as you were deemed the most festive of the lot considering how overjoyed you were to discover the utter beauty of the place where you were to stay the next few days. Phase one, which was performing a last minute venture to buy up drinks and food and, the crucial element - the tree, had been successful, and transitioned into Seonghwa and a snacking Yeosang cooking up a storm, Jongho and Yunho totally not trying to trip each other up into the deep snow while hanging decorations on the cottage’s façade, and the rest of you running around from room to room, leaving traces of glitter in random nooks and crannies as you tried to not totally ruin the otherwise tasteful interior design with festive visual noise.

For the most part, it ended up looking well put together, and you were proud of the Christmas tree that had been mostly your focus. Aside from the moment when Hongjoong approached you, beaming, a cardboard box in his hands.

“Is this a bomb?”

“Yes, totally, as if Christmas hasn’t already exploded in this house.” He countered, stretching his arms further out to hand the box to you.

“Good point. Then what-” you stopped mid-sentence as you revealed a set of what looked to be homemade tree décor. Test tubes and miniature conical flasks corked up and containing liquids and suspensions of various vivid hues. The creator of the set had to have been skilled, as the corks had very neatly attached metal eyelets, to which the much-needed strings were tied. You hooked one out of the box with your finger and admired how the shade of the contents changed with the flashing lights you had wrapped around the tree.

“Where did you find this?”

“I made it.”

“WHAT?” you shrieked, instantly covering your mouth as you did not want anyone to join in on your conversation just yet. Thankfully, at the same time the front door was flung open and the duo who had been outside ambled in, arguing about something to do with phosphorescence versus fluorescence.

Hongjoong, cheerful, was more than pleased with your reaction. During one of the events hosted in early December by the department head, you had been impressed by an arrangement of clamps that were positioned in a tree-like formation, each one holding a colourful test tube. He had wanted to replicate that moment, that sensation, for you, and so spent a week sprawled on the floor of his bedroom, gluing things together and practically recreating Heisenberg’s lab in his kitchen to make the substances. He had striked exclusively under the cover of night, which had scared Seonghwa out of his wits when he was awoken by the rumble of the kitchen extractor fan and strolled in to discover Hongjoong fully decked out in a face mask, goggles, silicon gloves, and pyjamas with teddy bears on them.

“You are going to take a photo of this beauty after we are done right?” You were ready to give him countless pecks on his cheeks with how adorable he looked blushing.

“Sure.”

“Let’s make this a chemis-tree then. Help?” You passed the test tube you were holding to him and set the box down carefully on the ground between you. In comfortable silence, you two moved around the tree, occasionally handing items across, in a tranquil symbiosis.

Hongjoong savoured the moments you accidentally brushed your hands with his, and inadvertently took in the light scent of your perfume as you snaked around him to re-hang a bauble in the shape of an angel. He wouldn’t be able to guess what brand it was even if he tried, but what he was sure of was just how well it suited you. With white floral top notes giving way to something much deeper and darker, it was your daring magnetism in a bottle. A stark contrast to the sweater you were wearing – a red, grey, and white combination with a design depicting reindeers dashing through the snow, with some hearts and trees dotted around along with ornate bands at the cuffs, base, and collar. You truly embodied a variety of contrasts, an enigma that drew him in.

You hovered for a moment, deep in thought as you spun the angel with your fingers, letting a sigh escape you as you hung it on a not yet overloaded part of the tree.

“What’s up?” Hongjoong was curious, seeing that the little toy had evoked a new emotion in you.

“Just remembered how when I was a kid, I loved to make snow angels. Like, really loved it. Did not care how deep the snow was, just let me lie in it and I was happy.” You recounted fondly while Hongjoong turned his shoulders to completely face you. Standing closer than friends should be.

“Let’s do it, then.” He was feeling courageous, wanting to repay you for your flirtations on the train ride to the cottage. You laughed, lightly tapping his shoulder.

“I think I am too old to do that sober now, need a bit more Dutch courage to go hop in a snowdrift.”

“I’ll make sure to give you a big mug of mulled wine then, angel.” He informed; his expression rather coy. You liked this kind of Hongjoong. Not wanting to drop the tension, you took the tiniest step forward, and murmured, low and slow:

“You go down with me, darling.”

Before Hongjoong could respond to your concealed provocation, a yell from an incredibly vexed Seonghwa near deafened you.

“WHO THE FUCK TURNED ELF ON THE SHELF INTO A STRIPPER? I SWEAR WOO IF IT WAS YOU, I WILL REARRANGE YOU LIKE A LEGO SET-”

“YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!”

Now that sounded about right for a domestic, festive scene. You and Hongjoong immediately began to search for the exhibit, finding it at the top of the stairs, where an innocent elf was made to be wrapped around one of the railings in a suggestive pose, and when a flash of bright red hair zoomed past you with an ashen blonde ball of anger following right behind, you guffawed, not stopping until your ribs began to hurt.

Poor Seonghwa had yet to find the other elves that were set out in unconventional poses and hidden in random places around the house. You personally had spotted one inside the bathroom cabinet and decided to let it be. Out of sight out of mind. An act commended by San who was tiptoeing out of one of the bedrooms, three more elves dangling from his clenched fist. He had simply given you a nod and placed his free index finger to his lips, which you did too in response, tapping a couple of times to show solidarity.

After the wave of life-or-death tag, and the gathering of the entire group in the living room, with Mingi having finally come down after napping through the majority of the prep, you breezed through setting the table, arranging Secret Santa gifts under the tree by transferring them from a grocery store bag that had been hanging on the office door for a week to avoid anyone having any clues, and then, finally, getting to sit down, take a deep breath, and simply enjoy.

Every bit of this was incredible. The food, the company, heck, even the stripper elf that Seonghwa ended up not having the heart to take down because ‘he did not want to be a Scrooge’. It was obvious that with every passing hour, the buzz was getting to you all, as the chatter was getting louder and louder, the jokes more and more ridiculous, and the questions more and more personal.

You were amidst an animated conversation with Yeosang about wanting to try snowboarding sometime and planning an imaginary trip to some mountain range far away when you were suddenly called for by Wooyoung, who was sitting at the far end of the table from you.

“Hey, Y/N,” he slurred a little, having been ‘taste-testing’ the spiced brew since before dinner, “are you dating anyone?” Yeosang grimaced, mouthing a ‘good luck’ to you, knowing that once Wooyoung entered his relationship talk state, he was near unstoppable unless some extreme topic change was made.

“Bro your boyfriend is sitting right next to you, and no thank you I don’t want a threesome.” You quipped, inducing a ripple of chuckles across the group. But Wooyoung would not let up, even though San was repeatedly nudging him under the table.

“Nooo… you know what I mean. Just generally. Like, do you have a designated mistletoe partner?” you did not like where this was going. Not one bit. Hongjoong, who was sitting on the other side of the table, right in front of you, visibly tensed, alarm bells ringing in his head.

“Uh, not at the moment.” You could not exactly lie, nor did you want to, seeing as the person you would not mind taking that role was right there, and for some reason looked oddly fearful.

“Great!” He exclaimed, and in a matter of seconds was standing on his chair, bending over the entire table, holding a mistletoe branch… over the table and not so discreetly changing its angle from you to Hongjoong, and back again.

You locked gazes. Panic rose in your throat. You did not enjoy this feeling; control being taken away from you, your friend toppling you over and shining a spotlight on you. And now a metaphorical knife was being wedged into your heart from having to witness what you perceived to be as total unwillingness in Hongjoong’s every fibre. Did you want this? Yes. Like this? Hell no.

Seconds passed like hours of torture, and each sound seemed to have amplified thousand-fold in volume. Lost, you were unable to decide your next course of action. Logic, your go-to for any situation, had failed. Emotions were a wreck. Oh, how you wanted this to stop. Anything you had hoped for until this moment shattered before you, scattering agonising pieces in all directions.

Was this his chance? It must be. Had he been sitting next to you, the space would have been no more in an instant. But the separation, once again that damn barrier, now also in physical form was preventing him from following through with what he wanted to express. This did not mean that he did not think Wooyoung had pulled a dick move, especially towards you, but Hongjoong had imagined what it would be like kissing you under the mistletoe. Wishful thinking, it seemed. All he could read across the table was discontent, and the recoil unlike that of a cat’s. He was running out of the time that he had wanted to give you.

Before either of you could do anything, Wooyoung gave out a yelp and almost toppled onto the remnants of dinner, saved only by a very quick to react San, who wrapped his arms around the slipping legs and weighed them down. Everyone was quick to turn their heads to the culprit – Jongho who was sitting unperturbed, arms crossed over his chest. Yeosang had been the saving grace, whispering for the youngest to figure something out in ‘Jongho style’. So, taking one of the apples from the fruit bowl, he took aim and hurled it with all his might where the sun did not shine.

“My bad bro, I hit the wrong head.”

Wooyoung was doubled over, and the mistletoe was lying all but forgotten among the randomly arranged side dishes. Seonghwa was failing to stifle a satisfied laugh, while Mingi was quite literally gasping for air, hiding his face in the tablecloth as Yunho was rubbing his back, a grin on his face. You let out a breath you did not know you were holding, and you absent-mindedly picked at your sweater.

“Right!” Hongjoong clapped to get everybody’s attention, wishing for nothing more than to move on from this ordeal. “How about before we get too drunk, we do the gift exchange, yeah? And DJ-Mingi, blast the tunes a little louder, it’s Christmas after all.” He pointed at the taller male, who was currently wiping tears from his eyes, still breathing heavy from the fit of giggles.

“Aye aye, captain!” he saluted and in a couple of strides was at the Bluetooth speakers, which now began blasting Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.

As everyone got up and headed to the huge u-shaped sofa, something stopped you. Mystified, you noticed that the mistletoe branch was gone.

The incident was brushed over soon enough, and the group was now losing their minds over each other’s gifts. This year, there was a very interesting mix of both humour gifts and genuinely meaningful statements, but that was to be expected from a Secret Santa where one of the rules was to ‘go ham’.

Yeosang wiped his forehead in mock relief as he was safe from torment: he received a giftcard to his favourite fried chicken delivery place and a t-shape tool for his skateboard – an ode to his most popular complaint being that the wheels did not feel right, or he swore he had to replace something. Yunho wasn’t quite so lucky, on the other hand, having received a tub of Vaseline with a printed note taped onto it that read ‘for the times that your supervisor fucks you over’ – it was a known fact that his supervisor, an elderly and angry man in his sixties, was notoriously hard to impress, and at this point probably made Yunho lose too many nerve cells.

You were Seonghwa’s Santa this year and tried your best not to show your delight at him basically bouncing on the sofa as he unwrapped the set of holiday-themed lint rollers that you had bought. Then, it was your turn and your friends followed your movements as you searched under the Christmas tree to pick out the gift with your name. Sitting back down on the couch, you spun it in your hands. The container was two centimetres thick and square in shape, leaving you perplexed as to what was behind the wrapping. You initially thought it could be an album by an artist you had been raving about recently but had to delete that from your mind considering it would be way over budget. You peeled away the washi tape that was holding the paper together to be met by a wooden box.

Turning it the right way around, you lifted the lid, and gasped. Inside was a necklace – a thin thread-like gold chain, and on it an intricate pendant – a tiny clock, its hands frozen on eight thirty. You were overwhelmed, but from your lips rolled out one word of gratitude after another. You ignored a now tipsy Mingi booing and calling out that it was probably over budget. Maybe you would have agreed seeing as that was technically a rule but shit, you were over the moon. You flipped the pendant around and spotted a message engraved into the back, so small that it was barely there – only for you to cherish and hold close to your heart.

Forever is composed of nows.

Emily Dickinson, you note. A poem you had quoted, time and time again. But not to just any audience. You look up, cautious. The gift unwrapping had moved on, with Jongho currently being the centre of attention, so you use the chance to seek out the one who you were sure was your Secret Santa. And sure enough, his attention was already on you. As you had wished so many times. Kim Hongjoong. Your Christmas.

He was praying that you would like the present. To the point of mumbling to himself and flittering his fingers over the throw on top of which he was seated. The idea had come to him when he had to stay late in the office, waiting for a response from his supervisor, who he had no idea had already left for the night. As minutes turned into an hour, and the only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock, with the outdoor noise having been absorbed by yet another snowfall, the pieces came together.

This quote encapsulated you both. On the one hand, you enjoyed it because the notion of ‘now’ being the way to shape the intangible future motivated you to remain organised, diligent, and focused on a specific path. On the other hand, he respected it for the interpretation that this forever had so many parts that it was crucial to not waste them on fixation and if they were to be captured, it was through the lenses of his beloved cameras. This collection of five words stuck a balance between Hongjoong and yourself, and explained that maybe, you were not quite so different after all.

The rest of the guys were tidying up the wrapping paper and some headed to the kitchen to carry the pot of mulled wine and the saucer, along with a champagne bottle Yeosang had produced out of the blue. You and Hongjoong let this particular ‘now’ continue for a little longer, knowing smiles on your faces, and the previous awkwardness over dinner erased. As you held onto the open box containing the invaluable message, you sauntered over to him.

“Thank you.”

He bit his lip as he lifted his head.

“May I?”

“Yes please.”

You turned and exposed your neck to him, moving your luscious hair to the side. Again, those black patchouli base notes that filled his head with only you. Hongjoong could finally pinpoint the rest of the bouquet, having recalled his housemate explaining the terminology after he had splurged on a luxury cologne and was trying to explain himself. He reached to take the necklace from the box, and not so accidentally caressed the sensitive skin as he clasped the lock. You explained that you wanted to see how it looked, so the two of you made a beeline for the full-length mirror at the entrance into the cottage.

You were inspecting the necklace in the mirror, still in shock at how it spoke volumes, nearing an inexplicable divinity. His body moving on its own accord, Hongjoong, who was standing behind you, gently placed his hands on your hips, and breath hot against your ear, complimented:

“I knew it would look brilliant on you.”

Your attention drifted back to Hongjoong, locking gazes with him through the mirror. He was all smiles, but for a split second you spotted something much more passionate. Intrigued, you wanted to test how far you could go before the man would snap. You were never one to back down from a game like this.

“Thank you, though I don’t think these clothes do it justice.”

“Hm?” you felt his grip tighten just a little, as his eyes shifted to your necklace once more.

“You know, maybe without them it would look even better, don’t you think?”

And there it was. The darkness only you could lure out from deep within him. A distant howl turned into a thunder, rolling across his body in waves. A man ready to do anything to drown in the turbulent river that had tantalised him for so long. A man lost in the silent night, at the beck and call of your voice that haunted him wherever he went. Hongjoong let out a shaky breath, his chest almost flush against your back as he held his head over your shoulder, level and mirroring yours.

“Do you know what you do to me?”

You smirked. He was still so heedful of you, navigating your ever-changing maze ever so slowly. But now, unlike before, you had a guarantee that the Hongjoong you had deemed to be attentive to everyone was, in fact, at your feet. You could finally read how he behaved around you. The adorable shyness, the inability to be alone with you for too long… it all made sense. Cute, precious Hongjoong. It was probably not the best conclusion to come to, but you felt powerful. Until the young man suddenly gripped your waist and spun you around, pulling you towards him until his face was so close you could count his beautiful lashes, study the intricate patterns of his irises, clouded over with emotion he had never revealed before, enticing you. He pressed his forehead against yours, eyes half-lidded and lips wet with his saliva.

“I’ll repeat myself, angel. Do you know what you do to me?” the pet name that had stuck with him since when you had decorated the Christmas tree slipped out, making you exhale sharply. You were enjoying this. Boy was getting braver.

You shifted the dynamic once more as you raised the hand that was not loosely holding the box and cupped Hongjoong’s chin, feeling him gulp at your boldness. You pulled away from him slightly, but only to observe as you traced his bottom lip with your thumb. It was so easy to make him melt once, after all these years, you appeared to have figured out the chemistry of Hongjoong. He shuddered under your touch, one hand drifting down back to your hip, attempting to press you against him, which you deny with a teasing poke of the box square in his chest.

“I can make an educated guess, darling.” Two could play the game as you enunciated the words so that each one fuelled his desire. Your index finger trailed under his chin, terminating the sensation with an instantaneous flick.

He groaned, desperate to end this push and pull once and for all, when you completely freed yourself while his mind was still enchanted. You had heard the others, still in the living room, getting louder, with someone loudly asking where you went. As if nothing at all had happened, you gave Hongjoong a lopsided grin and pointed at the doorway, informing him that everyone was waiting. Like hell they were, probably took notice of the absence at random and would have forgotten it then and there. As you ambled away, he bent over, stretching to try easing the unbearable tension under which he had been, thanks to you. Once more, he looked in the mirror, running a hand through his hair a couple of times, and yet the only thing he could see was your reflection.

Much of the rest of the night was dedicated to letting completely loose. Just like that night last year, you were purposefully oblivious to him tracking your every move. Paid no mind to just how attractive you looked, dancing to the pulsating beat of a song by The Weeknd that someone decided to put on. Evidently, champagne had started pouring. The night was turning into a blur for Hongjoong, as he struggled to process his actions. He had to plan something. And that something had to happen sooner rather than later.

He chose to slink away from the room right when now a very drunk San, Wooyoung and Seonghwa were recreating the infamous dance from Mean Girls to Jingle Bell Rock, laughter roaring in his ears and with his departure he finally managed to get you to turn and face him. He beckoned you to come to him with a wave of a hand, and turned to exit into the entrance.

When you followed and joined him, you found he was in the process of zipping up his winter jacket, having already tugged on all the woollen accessories.

“Where are you going? Stuff is wild in there.” You approached him to try and take his hat off, but he sidestepped towards the front door and silently motioned for you to dress up as well. Confused, but too interested to see the outcome of this bewildering proposal, you agreed.

When you signalled that you were ready by giving Hongjoong a double thumbs up, he grabbed the keys from a nearby counter and opened the door letting a chilly breeze hit you. You swore your mind was going through a thousand calculations a picosecond as you were trying to figure out the intentions of the man in front of you. This Christmas was definitely not like any other. As he walked further and further away from the cottage, until the lights emanating from the décor and from within did not hit the snow and you were hidden away from sight by a couple of evergreens, you repeated the quote that was now above your chest to yourself, letting go and trusting the man who was leading you into the landscape.

He stopped, waited until you caught up to him and were standing right next to him. And then, fell right on his back. You squealed in terror, assuming the worst. You peered at him, but were met with a very happy Hongjoong, who spread his limbs into a star shape, and began to wave them around. When you did not move, he stopped and shouted out, disappointment laced through his words.

“Y/N, didn’t you say you were a pro at making snow angels? Show me what you got.”

And just like that, you were also in the snow, giggling like the child you had been when you had done this last. Flailing around, kicking bits up in the air only for it to fall on you or him. You relished in the sensation, since it reminded you of something you had intentionally been repressing for the majority of your life – the ability to enjoy yourself freely, experience things that were not planned ahead and treating your existence as an ongoing work of art.

You were knocked out of your reveries with a snowball landing smack on your nose. You had not realised that Hongjoong had already gotten up and was aiming for another shot. It was on. You skillfully rolled away as he threw the winter weapon, picking up your own ammo as you did so. Once you were on your back again, the snowball was ready, and you got a clean headshot, having aimed for the sowed-on tag on his hat. As he was brushing snowflakes out of his eyes, you rose to your feet, hopping away and throwing two more roughly shaped ones. The game did not continue for long, though, because as you took some return hits you pounced on him, with the plan of attaining payback for the first snowball.

Both of you toppled on the ground and you laughed triumphantly, your body flat against his, nose to nose. While you were trying to push yourself up and get a grip on the ground to either side of Hongjoong, he pulled something out of the breast pocket of his winter jacket, raised it above the two of you, and pointed at it.

“Would you look at that? Guess we have to do something about it. Got any ideas?”

This man was unbelievable. That was one point on the endless list of why you were smitten.

“So that is where the mistletoe went!” you exclaimed, slowly leaning in.

“And this time I am not letting you go.” His promise sounding gruff, he pulled you in by the collar and finally, your lips collided.

The snow that had fallen from your clothing onto him rapidly melted as you sank deeper into the mutual craving. Starting slow, you got to know one another, keen to map out each sigh. You had fantasised about this for so long that it felt like you were in a feverish daydream. But nothing could compare to the real softness of his lush lips, the irresistible nips at yours and how he snaked under your coat and sweater, the coldness sending you into a frenzy.

As you repositioned yourself to gain more closeness, and as such grinded against him, you heard him hiss. He responded to your motion by pulling you closer and, his lips never leaving yours, tilting your head slightly to beg for entrance. You hummed in approval, mouth opening slightly to allow for his tongue to explore your further. Not letting him enjoy all the fun, you joined in the fight for dominance and savoured his addictive taste.

As you pulled away to catch your breath, Hongjoong looked completely at your mercy. Eyes still shut, panting, flushed and filled with want. He was beyond saving, left only as a vessel to be guided by you. There, illuminated by the moon and stars, you were ethereal. Your every angle and shapely curve was one he wanted to adore and worship. Your form, hovering above him, was nothing short of flawless. At the same time, within, you concealed a lethal sin, but one for which he would fall countless times, and willingly sacrifice himself for good. Your melodic laugh rang out over him.

“We are going to freeze out here-” You stated, unable to finish the thought as Hongjoong pulled you in again, growling against your lip and pushing himself against you. You sighed in pleasure as he dragged your scarf down to reveal your neck and planted rough kisses trailing from your jawline, stopping to claim you midway down. As you leaned over and peppered the side of his face with attention and nibbled his ear, sending a shiver through him, you stopped to purr:

“Though it seems you know a way to warm up.”

“You are a devil in disguise, Y/N.”

“Yours truly.”

“Mine?”

“And so are you.”

“Oh, come here.”

This was the kind of Christmas you were willing to enjoy every time of year. Together with the one who completed you in every way imaginable. From your ambition to his artistry, your tendency for timeliness to his tendency for timelessness.

Whilst you were opposites in some ways, you struck an unparalleled balance that made you stronger together. An enciphered, irreplicable chemistry that spelled ‘forever’.

[archivomeow]

Secret Santa

TW: knife (lmk if anything else should be added)

relationships: Yelena Belova & Maria Hill, Natasha Romanoff/Maria Hill (mentioned), Natasha Romanoff & Wanda Maximoff, Natasha Romanoff & Yelena Belova, Maria Hill & Wanda Maximoff

additional tags: fluff, christmas fluff, domestic fluff, post-red room, christmas presents & shopping.

read on ao3

Yelena could say all she wanted how lame Christmas was, but that was a lie. She couldn’t wait for it all, for the presents, the food and the time she will get to spend with Natasha. It was a week till’ Christmas now, they decorated the tree - it was all going well. Until Natasha came up with another idea, so called “Secret Santa”.

This year the group was smaller, most went to their families or had other activities, leaving Natasha, Yelena, Wanda and Maria all to themselves.

“Okay, so…” Natasha started speaking, she sat on the floor in her red and black pyjama. “You have to draw a card, with a name. That’s who you’re buying the gift to and vice versa.” She explained, as Yelena was unfamiliar with the tradition.

“I go first!” Wanda jumped in her seat as her hand went into the small box, she drew a card and looked at it for a moment before speaking.

“Natasha! I have you, so I guess you have me…” Wanda was more uncertain now, she knew it would be tough if she drew Natasha’s name, as Yelena was unfamiliar with her or Maria, so the gift buying is harder.

Yelena just glanced at Natasha, unsure to what she is supposed to do now.

“I-I have you then?” Yelena turned to Maria.

“Yes…Don’t worry, it’s most important to have fun, I’m sure you’ll do your best.” Maria smiled lightly as she glanced at Natasha.

“Okay, so two days for gift hunt and I will get us matching hats!” Wanda clapped her hands as she tried to keep the atmosphere far from uncomfortable.

***

Yelena browsed in different shops in the area, she felt uneasy alone, but at the same time didn’t want Nat to intervene in her shopping, as she was literally dating Maria.

She walked into millions of clothing stores, food stores and ones that are a mix of everything. Until she found a place she actually enjoyed being in — a store full of weapons.

It felt close to what she knew — knifes, guns and even bows. She was familiar with most of the weapons, but her attention was caught by one specific object, a small knife, it handle was made specifically to be more comfortable, also it had a small heart carved in it.

Yelena’s eyes scanned it for a moment before she was rudely welcomed by the store employee.

“Hey there…” A middle aged man approached her, stood way too close with his hands on his hips. “What can I do for you, sweetheart?”

A small grin creeped up onto his face, Yelena scoffed. Entitled men was everything she had to deal with her whole life, not anymore.

“I don’t need help.” She mumbled, making her russian accent even more thick.

“Oh, come on! You like the knife? I can show you how to use it.” The stupid smirk did not leave his face for a second, Yelena just grabbed the knife and headed to buy it, losing the guy in the crowd.

She left the store happy, she finally had her gift, but it didn’t feel like enough. She felt as if Maria deserved better, she should buy more.

So she did. Yelena entered one of the clothing stores as she looked though the shirts, she didn’t quite know what Maria style was, so she just looked for something simple.

Her eyes got stuck on a plain shirt, with four letters on it — BAMF. What the hell is BAMF?

“Excuse me…” Yelena approached a short lady, a worker in the store, she looked harmless and kind, so Yelena picked her. “What does this mean?” Yelena pointed at the shirt she took.

“BAMF?” The woman smiled, she didn’t laugh or scold Yelena, she smiled as she had a sympathetic look on her face. “Bad Ass Mother Fucker.” The woman’s face turned slightly red as she spoke the vulgar words quietly.

“Thank you.” Yelena nodded and glanced at the sticker on the woman’s shirt. “Thank you, Olivia.”

***

It was the day of gift giving, Yelena was nervous, she barely slept and only coffee helped. So many scenarios crossed her mind — What if Maria hates her gift? What if it’s a terrible gift? What if they pull a prank on her and what if her box is empty?

But she had to shove all that aside and packed her gift, the four were seated in the living room, all in matching Santa’s hats, which Wanda had bought them.

“Alright, who opens their gift first?” Wanda glanced around, waiting for either Maria or Natasha to take the wheel and decide.

“How about us?” Natasha smiled and

glanced at Yelena, her and Wanda exchanged their boxes.

Natasha was eager to prove Yelena it was fine, the presents weren’t perfect and the boxes weren’t empty.

Both of the redheads opened their boxes as excitement grew on their faces. Natasha got a new leather jacket and a photo in a frame — a picture of her and Maria on their first date.

Wanda on the other hand was given socks, red ones with white stripes on them, like a candy cane. To that was a book, which Yelena was unfamiliar with, but the cover was colourful.

The two hugged, which made Yelena scream internally… Did she have to hug Maria too?

She just glanced at her box, now her gift doesn’t seem enough. She didn’t think twice about what she bought, maybe she should’ve asked Natasha for help after all.

“Yelena?” Natasha’s voice was warm and gentle as she encountered her sister to hand over the box to Maria. “Now it’s your turn.”

Yelena glanced at Maria, but she didn’t hand her the box, she instead got up with it and left the room.

How could she think that gift was good for even a second? It was embarrassing.

The three were left in silence for a moment, uncertain as to what they were supposed to do now. Natasha was planning on going, but as she got up, Maria stopped her.

“I got it, you guys can…make some popcorn?” Maria was improvising, but she felt bad for Yelena, like it was her fault that the girl got scared off.

“Masha—“ Natasha started, but seeing the look in Maria’s eyes she just nodded and went in silence to the kitchen with Wanda.

***

Yelena was alone, in her room. It was pretty small, she kept almost everything packed in boxes, she never unpacked in case Natasha got her own flat. In case she wanted to take her too. Besides the Tower never felt like home, she sat all day long in her room, didn’t know anyone that well, except her sister.

A gentle knock on her door made her jump as she slid the gift under her bed.

“Yelena? It’s me, Maria…” The door was still closed, Maria didn’t want to invade Yelena’s privacy, she had a choice to let her in or not.

“What do you want?” Yelena’s voice was low and cold, but it was all a facade, a facade Maria knew too well, she have seen it before, in Natasha.

“To talk, that’s all… You don’t have to let me in if you don’t want to, we can just talk though the door.”

The door opened soon after, Yelena looked up at Maria who was slightly taller. Maria gave her a reassuring smile as she walked in and the door was shut after her.

“What’s wrong?” Maria glanced at Yelena before sitting on the bed. “Why did you run?”

“Why do you care?” The blonde scoffed, almost mockingly.

“Yelena…You can talk to us, to me. I just want you to know that.” Maria sighed. “Natasha trusts me, you trust her, right?”

Yelena sat on the bed next to Maria as she breathed out loudly.

“I can’t give you my gift. It simply…sucks.”

“It…sucks?” Maria frowned.

“Yeah…I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry, come on, I’m sure I’ll love it.”

Yelena sighed, Maria had a determined look on her face, so she gave up, too tired to banter with her. The blinde pulled out the box from under the bed and handed it to Maria.

Maria looked at the box curiously and opened it slowly, as she took out a small black box - there was a small knife in there, that fits right into Maria’s fist.

“See? I told you.”

“What? The knife? It’s a great gift, very…”

“Practical.” Yelena finished her sentence.

“Yes, practical.”

Maria nodded with a smile as she took a notice of a folded material in the box. It was a folded shirt, with four letters on it, four letters she did not understand.

“What’s BAMF?” Maria glanced at Yelena.

“The lady in the store said it means Bad Ass Mother Fucker.” Yelena said with zero expression, even though she was giggling on the inside.

“I- You think I’m Badass?” Maria raised her brows as she looked amused at the blonde.

“Yeah, I mean, you’re the right hand of SHIELD.” Yelena smiled lightly.

Maria placed the shirt back into the box, she didn’t intend to make Yelena uncomfortable so she kept her distance. She remembered well how jumpy and anti-touching Natasha was.

“So, are you ready to open up my gift?”

Yelena glanced at Maria nervously as the woman handed her the box, smiling encouragingly.

Yelena took a deep breath in as she opened her box, inside was a green vest, similar to the one she owned and gave to Natasha.

The vest she was looking at had more black details in it, the green color was very much toned. Yelena couldn’t hold back her smile as she looked at the vest.

“I gotta say, Natasha helped me out a bit, she talked a lot about how the vest was the first thing you got yourself, but you were willing to give that up to her.” Maria smiles lightly at the memory. “So, you like it?”

Yelena nodded with a smile on her face, she tried to tone her emotions, but it was like a wave of excitement washing over her. She moved closer to Maria and wrapped her arms around the woman. Maria was slightly shocked at the sudden touch, but she hugged the blonde back.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

[webbywalker]

Things in my F1 DR

Okay so, I have been on a fix with my F1 DR and thought that I would share with you guys some things that happen and other little details.

To preface: I have not yet shifted to this DR but these are just things that I have scripted; I have scripted that I drive for Porsche F1 (replacing HAAS) and have an OC as my second driver; also, SV5 is my mentor/father figure/sponsor and I am the godmother of his kids

Lmk what you guys have scripted, I would love some more F1 shifter friends!!!

I currently live in Monaco but are renovating an Italian farmhouse

Jeremy Clarkson is our Team Principal??? (Still debating this one lmk what you guys think)

Seb’s kids always want to watch my races but they have no idea about time zones so if a race is happening during their bedtimes, Seb just records the race and plays it during the day and they think that it is live

I go on the Screaming Meals podcast and the boys (James, Clement & Marcus) dress up in dresses without telling me.

One of the drivers gets me a inflatable dinosaur suit for Secret Santa before the Abu Dhabi race (I have been talking about getting one throughout the year) and I walk around the paddock in it for fun.

Sebastian tells Lewis to keep an eye out for me when he can’t be there and he (Lewis) becomes like an uncle

My radio checks are almost exclusively quotes from movies

When I get super drunk I start talking in fluent Latin and my friends call it the “Exorcism Stage”

I can solve a Rubik’s Cube in under 20 seconds

I got my Bachelor’s Degree in engineering just for fun

My teammate and I do an advertisement/video for Uber (one of our sponsors) where we become Uber drivers in Porsches and deliver food (in our race suits and everything) and we turn it into a competition to see who gets the most clients

When I went to school in the UK (Same school as Lando) I lived with the Norris family and Lando is now like a big brother

Logan, Oscar and I were all roommates whilst at Prema together

I filled in for Charles Leclerc at Ferrari at the 2022 Silverstone Grand Prix (I scripted that he got sick and couldn’t race) and the protestors came on to the track just as I was going around and I said over the radio “Are they trying to be compost or something”

I don’t have a social media presence before joining F1 but have to have one as a part of my contract, but then I get my account access privileges revoked after a bunch of PR incidents

My teammate and I find a couple of those Razor indoor go karts and race them around the office

So yeh, that was just some of the stuff so far. Might do a part 2 if you guys want!?

[taz-skylar]

hi roh!

hope this week has been kind to you 😌 (despite all your finals) as a working adult (?) fumbling through the world, sometimes (most times) I really miss my school days hah

asdfghj I confess to not watching op *sweats* I briefly considered bingeing it to make your gift but when I googled the episode count, this was me: *insert homer simpson backing into bush meme*

I'm enjoying both of them! sxf was kinda slow the first few episodes, but I really enjoyed the tennis tournament ones. blue lock is absolutely amazing so far! I went into it knowing only that it was about football/ soccer so the first episode had me going ?????? omg is it that dramatic? 🤣 the additional time really had me laughing though, especially the recent one with kunigami crying 💀 tbh I don't remember much of link click but I remember it keeping me on the edge of my seat, and whenever the first few notes of the ending song started playing I would go "ah yes here comes the cliffhanger ending"

your answers were so fun to read, especially the characters you relate to! if anyone ever asked me that question I would probably struggle to answer, but you have so many and that's so cool! you and moh sound like a chaos duo asdfgh but it's such a nice dynamic! my brother and I aren't that distant but we don't share similar interests and don't spend much time together, so we don't have a lot of things in common to talk about. increasingly the only time we interact is when we go on family trips which are becoming shorter and rare as the years go by 😔 you and moh sound close and I'm really envious about that!

and here's this week's questions: do you have any plans for the end of the year? do you have anything new you're looking forward to or want to try next year? could be an activity, a hobby, a place to go to, ...

- your animanga secret santa 🦖

finally finished all my exams so i’m just exhausted and finally got back home on monday night so i’m just catching up with my family and friends and on tv shows/movies that i missed while school was going on.

flkadfja i’m honoured that you even considered bingeing op for me 🤣 that’s hilarious and amazing !!! yeah, op is definitely the longest animanga series out there but i will say that it’s definitely worth the read/watch! and if you ever do, lmk and we can scream about it together bc i definitely feel like you’d enjoy it :D

yes, sxf was pretty slow in the beginning but i’m glad it’s picking up now ! the tennis tournament was absolutely wild and my sister and i had to keep pausing and rewatching certain scenes bc we couldn’t stop laughing (like when loid started dodging the bullets by swinging all over the place fjaldkfa). my favourite thing about blue lock is that, while all other sports animanga are like ‘there’s no i in team’ and everything, blue lock’s like fuck friendships, i’m winning this shit flkfjad the additional time bits are such a cute little add on, i love them all!! since i got super busy with school, i wasn’t able to get back into link clink but now that i’m home, i’m hoping i finally can (especially since i stopped on a two parter)!

faldfj i wanna know who you find yourself relating to now that you posed that challenge 🧐 that question was super fun, and initially i definitely struggled and had to go through my anime list bc i suddenly forgot every single character that i’ve ever seen fjaldkfja (also why i asked moh what she thinks which was a mistake, clearly)

yeah, moh and i are very chaotic. i think everyone who knows us can attest to that, our parents like to say that when we fight, we’re like cats so that’s fun 🤣 aww i honestly can’t imagine not being close to my twin sister or my brother. is there anything that you and your brother do enjoy doing together?? do you guys live close to one another? maybe starting with something small can bring you closer than you are?

answer for this week’s question: my plans for the end of the year consist of me being home with my family and friends for a bunch of parties since i haven’t seen them all for 4 months and eating all the homemade food my mom and dad can make bc i missed it so much 💙 i really want to explore the city i’m living in next year so hopefully school will calm down a bit and let me do that bc i’m only there for one year and i don’t want to just be sitting doing nothing but studying 😭

thanks for the ask!! love hearing from you, bud! 💙

[flwrsuh]

christmas with enhypen!

pairing ; enhypen hyung line + sunoo x gn! reader

warnings ; mentions of food and i think that’s all !!

a/n ; hi !! this didn't turn out like i wanted it, but that's okay. i'm having a bit of writer's block lately :(

this is for @gongiz !! surprise, i'm your secret santa !! thank you so much @freckledwinterfalls for doing this event it was so fun to be a part of !! i hope you like this liv !!

༉‧₊˚✧ heeseung

wrapping christmas presents!

okay, so i feel like hee would take this very seriously

have fun with it, of course

but the presents better be beautiful

he would want all the wrapping paper and bows for every gift to match a theme he picked

say what you want, but his tree will probably be the prettiest you've ever seen

i can just see heeseung teaching his s/o who doesn't really know how to wrap gifts how to do it :((

he would be so patient and encouraging

helps you until you get it perfect and he would be so proud of you !!

༉‧₊˚✧ jay

picking out a christmas tree!

this would be so fun and kinda chaotic

you would be hanging out with jay like two days before christmas one year when you both had decided not to get a tree

and he would finally decide that he actually does want one

well, good luck finding anything resembling a tree

you search for hours and hours on a road trip to find a decent tree to display

ending up with a tiny charlie brown tree and trying to decorate it the best you can

you got a couple ornaments on it and the experience was fun for the both of you anyway

maybe plan ahead next time jay

༉‧₊˚✧ jake

watching holiday movies!

jake wanted to have a chill holiday-themed date

so you get into your comfy matching plaid pajamas and make food to watch movies together all day !!

the type to take pictures to send to his family

his family definitely would love you

after a long day of watching classic christmas movies, jake would want to walk around his neighborhood with you to look at all the pretty decorated houses

does the true beauty thing where he grabs your hand and puts it in his pocket :((

off topic but that is my favorite thing ever it's so so cute

jake the camera man makes a return while looking at lights

he just loves to show off his pretty s/o whenever he can !!

༉‧₊˚✧ sunghoon

okay, this isn't a christmas activity but i've been associating sunghoon lately with tis the damn season by taylor swift

and i just need to write a little about this

so, you and hoon had been childhood friends

you ended up together later in your lives, kind of being on and off in your relationship

you move away and come back to your hometown for the holidays

while you're visiting, you run into him after many years of not seeing or hearing from him

your romance starts back up, picking back up right where you left off as you always did with eachother

together just for the holidays :(((

this is bad and just like basic thoughts but lmk if you want me to add this to my taylor swift series bc i have many thoughts on this ok

moving on

༉‧₊˚✧ sunoo

baking christmas cookies!

sunoo would have this idea while watching a holiday themed baking show with you

"y/n, we should bake something!"

he would be so excited you could never say no

this would be so fun and wholesome :((

i feel like sunoo would be very reassuring

if your cookies didn't turn out the way you had wanted, he would keep telling you how much he loves them :(

you did a great job okay

would not be able to stop laughing the entire time you were baking

i feel like sunoo would be the most fun person to be around

when you're done, he would want to take some to the members aw

they all have to pretend your cookies are good so sunoo doesn't hurt them

at least you tried

[babygirlizz]

izzie’s favorite movies and tv shows of 2020 (aka the worst year ever)

another year, another movie and tv show review. this year has, to put it simply, sucked. 2020 has been so terribly awful that sometimes the only light you can see are the absolute bangers of movies and tv shows that came out this year. with that being said, some of the movies and tv shows didn't come out in 2020. if the are mentioned in this post it is because they either: had a season come out this year, i found them this year, or they became popular this year.

SPOILERS: it may not come as a surprise but just in case you didn't realize, there will be many spoilers ahead, read at your own risk.

tw // death, suicide, drug use, mild adult language. if any of these things might trigger you, i strongly urge you not to read this post.

there is no specific order of these shows and movies, i'm just writing as they come to mind. if you enjoy any of these movies or tv shows, or if you have any suggestions for me, please let me know!

TV SHOWS

1) Santa Clarita Diet

Okay, so I know this show doesn't have anything to do with 2020. But, I found this show in 2020. I put it off for a while, thinking it wasn't my style of a show, but boy was I wrong. I loved this show. Sheila Hammond (Drew Barrymore) is a normal suburban wife and mom. She is a real estate agent with her husband Joel (Timothy Olyphant). She struggles with the fact that she isn't very adventurous. This all changes when she throws up an insane amount at a house showing. She then finds herself craving adventure, and craving human flesh. Yeah, she's a zombie. Not only is this show super hilarious, but it also shows the growth that they have with their characters and their family. I'm also team Abby (Liv Hewson) and Eric (Skyler Gisondo).

2) Outer Banks

So, I'm from NC. And, watching this show at first bothered me because I can very obviously tell this show isn't actually filmed in the obx, and the geography isn't exact, but once I got past that, I loved it. John B (Chase Stokes) is a teenager that lives in the poor side of the outer banks. He has a friend group called the Pogues which consists of JJ (Rudy Pankow), Pope (Jonathan Daviss), and Kie (Madison Bailey). They absolutely hate the Kooks, which are the rich kids. A while after John B's dad gets lost at sea, presumed dead, the group finds some evidence that may solve the mystery, and make them rich. In the process, John B falls in love with a Kook names Sarah (Madelyn Cline) whose father Ward (Charles Esten) may have a little more to do with the mystery than he let on. Through friendship, murder, and secrets, the gang may just figure out what happened to John B's dad.

3) Love, Victor

Alright. I loved loved loved Love, Simon. I also really loved the book "Simon vs. the Homosapien Agenda." So, when I heard about this show, I was so excited. Victor (Michael Cimino) is a teenage boy that moved to Creekwood with his family. He meets Felix (Anthony Turpel) who lives in his building. He also meets Mia (Rachel Hilson) and they begin dating. But, he also meets Benji (George Sear). While trying to get used to a new school, new friends, and a new relationship, Victor finds himself questioning his sexuality. With the help of Simon (Nick Robinson) and his friends, Victor finds it in himself to finally come out, and he admits his feelings, for Benji. This is such a good show, but I was so upset when season 1 ended on a cliff-hanger.

4) The Haunting of Bly Manor

The sequel to The Haunting of Hill House. Now listen, haunting of hill house was an absolute banger. When I saw that Bly came out I nearly died. I was so excited. But, I was alone in my apartment and also a lil bitch. So, I had to wait a week until I was home with my family to watch it. Now, I was so excited to be scared, and there were a few jump scares and ominous moments, but this season was more centered around the story line of Dani Clayton (Victoria Pedretti) and her new life in a foreign country. When seeing an ad for a live in job as an au pair. When she gets there, she meets the two young children she’ll be looking out for and the other workers of the house, including the gardener, Jamie (Amelia Eve). Throughout her stay at Bly she begins to notice weird behaviors from both children and by the end of the series she sacrifices herself for the children. Sadly, this story is being told by Jamie who Dani had fallen in love with during her stay at Bly. Now I was somewhat upset about the lack of horror, but was still very intrigued and drawn in by this series.

5) Julie and the Phantoms

Alright, at first I was not gonna watch this show. I thought it looked a little too young and childish for me, but everyone was talking about it on twitter so I had to. I. Love. This. Show. This show centers around Julie (Madison Reyes). Julie is a teenage girl who, sadly, lost her mother. The one major thing she shared with her mom, was their love for music. Since her mothers passing, she gave up music. This is until, dead musicians from the 90′s show up in her garage. Luke (Charlie Gillespie), Alex (Owen Joyner), and Reggie (Jeremy Shada) all tragically passed away in the 90′s after eating bad street hotdogs. When Julie finds their CD in her garage, she decides to play it and they come back in ghost form. But, only she can see them. With their help, she finds her confidence to play music again. Also, she has to find away for them to stay because they’re slowly disappearing. 

6) Derry Girls

Bitch. I love this show. And yeah it didn’t come out in 2020. Shut up. I found this show recently after watching the cast on the holiday special of the Great British Baking Show. I loved the actors so I had to watch the show. This show focuses on Erin (Saoirse-Monica Jackson) a 16 year old girl that lives in Derry, Northern Ireland in the 90′s. Alongside her is her cousin Orla (Louisa Harland), her two friends Clare (Nicola Coughlan) and Michelle (Jamie-Lee O’Donnell), and Michelle’s English cousin James (Dylan Llewellyn). During these years, a lot of people in Ireland struggled, especially because it was during wartime. Even thought this show isn’t focused heavily around the war, it’s amazing to see these teens live a fulfilling life while struggling with the state of their country, and the lack of money that their families have. 

7) Elite

HA. This show did have a season in 2020 so leave me alone. But bro, I love this show. At first, I didn’t watch it because I thought I could only watch the dubbed version in English, which I hate. I hate dubbed shows they look so weird. But, once I found out I could watch this show in Spanish, I fell in love. But, sadly, theres too damn much to talk about in one little post. It’s crazy. But basically it just follows the lives of teens in high school that are trying to survive. And no, not in the “I’m surviving high school,” sense. No, people be getting murdered. 

MOVIES (tbh i didn’t find a lot of movies good this year lmk which movies u liked this year and maybe i’ll like them!)

1) All the Bright Places

After the death of her sister, Violet (Elle Fanning) is devastated. She closes herself off, and has her parents get her out of doing school work that involves working with others. But, as time goes on, they realize she may need to start to move on. Violet then meets Finch (Justice Smith) who is enamored by Violet. He suggests they do a project together. While finding and visiting some of the smallest wonders of their state, they begin to fall for each other. While you are focusing on Violet and her mental health, you tend to miss some of the signs that Finch’s mental health isn’t great either, but by the time you do, it could be too late. 

2) Dangerous Lies

Hmm. This was weird for me. I had only ever seen Camila Mendes in Riverdale, and honestly, not a fan. So, Katie (Camila Mendes) and her husband Adam (Jessie T. Usher) are struggling with money. Katie decides to take a job working for an elderly man, and eventually gets her husband hired there as well. Unfortunately, he dies, but for some odd reason, leaves the house and all of his fortune, to Katie. As they get comfortable in the house, they begin to uncover some very weird and dangerous lies. 

3) The Devil All the Time

Ok. Iconic. You got so many hot men in this movie. Bill Skarsgård, Sebastian Stan, Tom Holland, Robert Pattinson. C’mon now. That’s crazy. But, this story is so long and in depth that I wouldn’t even know where to begin. This movie is a bit disturbing. It involves murder, sexual assault, killing of animals, and so much more so if that’s an issue for you please do not watch this movie. It was also quite long, but it was still good.

4) After We Collided

Okay just listen. I was that teenager. I read wattpad stories and was, embarrassingly, addicted to After. This was not a great movie per say, but it was After. This is a sequel to the movie After. This movie centers around Tessa (Josephine Langford) and her recovery after her breakup with Hardin (Hero Fiennes Tiffin). Theres sex, alcohol, bad acting. The whole nine-yards. But c’mon, they’re so cute together.

5) To All the Boys p.s. I Still Love You

Okay it was a good movie. I enjoyed it. This movie focuses on Lara Jean (Lana Condor) and her boyfriend Peter (Noah Centineo) and their relationship post the first movie. But of course relationships aren’t super steady, and John Ambrose McClaren (Jordan Fisher) shows up. Yeah, John Ambrose, from her letter. They become closer and Lara Jean has to decide who she wants to be with. Spoiler, it’s Peter. BOOOOOOO justice for John Ambrose McClaren, he deserved better. 

[lilolilyr]

Tagged by: the wonderful @morallygreywaren , thank you very much, and your fics are amazing!

Name(s): Lilolilyrae- Lilo is a nickname I also often go by irl :)

Fandoms: atm I write for The Old Guard, especially the ship Andromaquynh, apart from that lately Good Omens, The Witcher and Star Trek, + many many more! I'm also apparently gaining a reputation for long Harry Potter podfics, although I've really only done two so far- on the other hand, those two are bloody long!

Where you post: AO3, and sometimes prompts/oneshots/photostories/WIP stuff here on tumblr under the hashtag 'lilo writes fanfic', I do also have a draft blog with loads of weird headcanons: @thelucyverse

Most Popular One Shot (by kudos) this year: either this part of my Good Omens series if you count that as a oneshot, or Cling To Life (The Old Guard)

Overall: Spooky Eyes, my one and only fanfic for the Venom fandom I've ever written xD

Most Popular Multi-Chapter (by kudos) this year: Either all 3 parts of the Incubus Jaskier series (The Witcher, not oneshots but the fics aren't multichapters either) or after that In Your Stead (The Old Guard)

Overall: The very same, along with large parts of my Good Omens series

Favorite story you’ve written so far: In Your Stead | Just You And Me - Until The End

Fic you were nervous to post: any smut bc potential for creeps + any story I actually put some work into... I'm quite unbothered about oneshots I wrote in half an hour, if those don't get any kudos etc I know it's not a personal failing xDxD

How do you choose your titles?: whatever random idea comes to my mind and kinda fits usually gets stuck there

Do you outline?: depends... sometimes I have a fully fledged fic idea that I write the outline of down so I won't forget it and then I slowly add detail, sometimes I just write what comes to my mind

Complete: 270 works on ao3

In-Progress: 19 WIPs posted on ao3, 7 drafts + uncountable outlines and abandoned WIPs saved in other places

Coming soon/not yet started: my gift exchange fics! The Old Guard general secret santa, Andromaquynh gift exchange and Star Trek secret santa :)

Prompts?: I'm generally always taking prompts for the fandoms I'm writing for, whether I'll also write it depends on my energy level, amount of other projects and whether I'm feeling the prompt's vibe! I think I'm better at writing for my own ideas, but I do like to write for prompts from time to time.

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: uuuuuh all of the Andromaquynh stuff really :D

Not! The star trek gift exchange one, I got a ship I had never even considered before and am slightly lost xD but I think I'll manage something, at least there's no word minimum so even a drabble would do... feeling slightly bad for the giftee in that case but like I'm doing my best??

Tagging - oh gosh I keep forgetting who's also a writer on here especially when ppl have different names on ao3, so if you see this, are one and aren't tagged, feel tagged & tag me in your answer, and I hope I've only tagged writers lol @aeternumregina, @cryhardanddanceharder, @banashee, @smittyjaws, @imagitory, @lestrade-london, @toboldlynerd, @nomi--sunrider, @francesca-wayland, @bookerandy, @daniwouldnever, @pers-books, @inheritor-of-memories, @dauntlessdiva, @betweencrossedblades, @amysnotdeadyet, @thearchdemongreatlydisapproves

& of course only do it if you want to, and lmk if you'd rather never be tagged in these in general!

Blank to easily copy on mobile:

Tagged by: Name(s): Fandom(s): Where you post: Most Popular One Shot (by kudos) this year: Overall: Most Popular Multi-Chapter (by kudos) this year: Overall: Favorite story you’ve written so far: Fic you were nervous to post: How do you choose your titles?: Do you outline?: Complete: In-Progress: Coming soon/not yet started: Prompts?: Upcoming work you’re most excited about: Tagging

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BNHA Writer’s Fest Final Mission

A/N: @studiopoprocks​ surprise!! I’m your awesome secret santa!!! This was so much fun (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧. Hopefully, you’ll like what I’ve come up with. I tried to include as many details from our conversations as possible and look forward to writing something for you again (⌒▽⌒) - Blue

If you don’t like it, please lmk so I can write it again.

pairing: Todoroki x fem!Reader

prompt: free

word count: 1107

Y/n watched as Shouto glided through the ice, gracefully landing jumps and moving in a naturally alluring way. He looked at ease as if it was his innate ability to skate with such elegance. Shouto skated towards y/n’s direction until he reached her and held out a hand. 

“Come with me.” 

Y/n looked at him hesitantly. Even though she had skated before, she was terrible at it; falling every time she attempted to move. Y/n took his hand, and he pulled her towards him, supporting her as she almost slipped.

“Sorry,” muffled y/n against her boyfriend’s chest. He was wearing a soft, sand-colored sweater Fuyumi had given him. 

“It’s ok,” assured Shouto, helping her regain balance; “let’s start slow.” 

Once y/n could stand on her own, the fire-and-ice hero started slowly guiding her around the rink, skillfully gliding backwards while holding her hands. Once they had skimmed the perimeter twice, y/n was more relaxed. She looked into Shouto’s stunning azure and silver eyes and blushed, making the taller one adopt a similar shade of scarlet. After getting the hang of moving on the ice skates, y/n and Shouto grazed the ice side by side, enjoying the feeling of the cold gust of air that formed when they went fast.

Just as y/n was getting the hang of things, she tried to do a turn, falling to the ground with a loud thump. The sound of skin hitting the ice sent Shouto directly towards y/n. 

“Are you hurt?” asked Shouto with a worried expression. 

“I’m fine, nothing’s broken,” assured y/n giggling at herself. 

Shouto held out his hand and helped y/n get back to her feet. 

“How are you so good?” asked y/n; “I know you have an ice quirk but still…” 

“My mother used to take my siblings and me to an ice rink when we were little. Once we moved to the dorms and I didn’t have to train during my free time, I took some figure skating classes,” explained Shouto; “I’m still not good at it, but I like it.”

“Not good? Compared to me, you’re a professional!” remarked y/n, astounded at her boyfriend’s humbleness; “Have you seen how many times I’ve fallen?” 

“That’s because you haven’t had practice,” chuckled Shouto, “besides, you’re adorable when you fall.”

The second statement made y/n’s face turn a pretty shade of pink; the two of them kept skating and having fun until it started snowing. Shouto and y/n decided to head back to their apartment as it was getting cold. After they started dating during their third year at U.A., Shouto and y/n had become closer than ever. Moving in together for college, after they graduated U.A.

Once they arrived at their small Tokyo apartment, the two of them decided to watch a movie. It had been a holiday tradition to watch a marathon of cheesy Hallmark movies. The iconic “pretty, young career woman with a big-city media job falls in love with rugged family-man in the middle of a small, snowy town while they discover the true meaning of Christmas together,” trope in these movies was a must for a cozy Christmas night in.

Shouto was on snack duty while y/n took care of the blankets and throw pillows. She settled them on the couch while she chose the movie. 

“The Perfect Christmas Present or A Gift to Remember?” asked y/n, unsure of which one to choose. 

“Aren’t they all the same?” remarked Shouto, in a teasing tone. 

“No!” complained y/n, with a bright smile; “they’re completely different.” 

“How about we watch both?” proposed the taller man from the kitchen. 

“That was already part of the plan, but which one should we watch first?” explained y/n. 

“A Gift to Remember,” settled Shouto as he approached the couch holding two cups of hot cocoa with one hand, and a bucket of white cheddar popcorn and sour patch kids with the other. He placed the cups down on the wooden coffee table in front of the TV and sat down next to y/n, taking her hand.

As the movie progressed, y/n snuggled closer to Shouto, laying her head on his shoulder and squeezing his hand whenever a cute moment appeared on screen. Y/n could feel Shouto rest his head on top of hers in a moment that made her heart melt.

The shinning moon greeted y/n as she looked through the window. It was night, and the couple decided they needed a break; they had watched five movies, and their legs had become numb from sitting so long. 

“Do you wanna head to bed?” asked Shouto, voice coarse after not speaking for several hours. 

“Wait, I have a surprise.”

Y/n reached for a light blue bag. It was filled with white tissue paper and had a reindeer wearing a red and green scarf. She handed the bag to Shouto, who wore a surprised expression. His eyes were bright with anticipation as he opened the bag and took out a book. It was “All Might’s biography” written by Sir Nighteye. Shouto had been looking for a copy, but after not finding it anywhere, he had given up.

“Y/n! Thank you,” exclaimed Shouto with a radiant smile. 

Knowing she could make her red-and-white haired partner this happy sent a merry feeling through y/n. 

“That reminds me,” added Shouto; “I have something for you as well.” 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah, I- I was planning to give it to you tomorrow but, I guess Christmas eve is close enough to Christmas, right?”

Shouto went to their room and came back with a small box wrapped in kraft paper with golden polka-dots. 

“Here,” said Shouto as he handed you the package, looking away while trying to hide his scarlet face. 

As y/n teared the wrapping paper, a purple book cover was revealed, as she scanned through the familiar image, she noticed something different on the corner. “For y/n, you have an amazing boyfriend! – Ashley Poston.”

“Geekerella! You got it signed?” asked y/n, amazed at her boyfriend’s thoughtfulness. 

“Yeah,” answered Shouto, putting a hand on the back of his blushing neck, “I saw they had a signing and thought it would make a nice gift.”

“Thank you!”

Y/n got closer to Shouto while looking at his heterochromatic eyes. She pushed a few white strands of his hair away from his eyes and stood on her toes, trying to reach up and kiss him. It was short but sweet and they both looked happy. Y/n looked at the clock hung on one of the walls and noticed the time.

“Merry Christmas Shouto.” 

Shouto smiled as he noticed the time as well, it was 12:01AM. 

“Merry Christmas y/n.”

[diamondsareapearlsbestfriend]

Bonely This Gyftmas

finally posting my contribution to the @sorieldiscord​ (not so) Secret Santa for a Good Clown Pal, @purpleangrywitches !! belated Merry Gyftmas my dude, I hope you like it~~   shoutout to the wonderful @drawingwithgreen13​  for helping me out with some parts of this and of course @mintkupocream​ for organising this exchange for us!! ^w^;; FellSoriel is something I’ve wanted to try for a while now so hopefully this turned out okay! (basically “more cursing and everyone is tsundere” lmao - that’s how you Underfell, right?? anyway yeah feel free to lmk your thoughts etc!! <3)

on AO3

Another Gyftmas in Snowdin – not that it really meant anything, any more than any other “season” did in the Underground. Snow was a permanent fixture, and so was the threadbare pine tree in the centre of town, the only difference being the half-assed decorations and dimly flickering lights draped about its branches, and the kids still young or dumb enough to gather around it and casting hopeful glances at the parcels underneath. If Sans had it in him to care, he might even have felt bad for the little shits, watching the light die in their eyes year after year at the meagre offering, until that one bear who hung around the tree “arranging” the presents all day growled at them til and they beat it.

Other than that, it was same shit, different day – Papyrus didn’t believe in holidays, and as he never tired of harshly but not incorrectly pointing out, Sans did so little that his entire existence was basically one big break. He was more than happy to live up, or down, to his boss’ expectations, taking every opportunity to slip away from his post and deep into the forest where, at least, he had the promise of more interesting company.

“Yo, anyone alive in there?” he asked the door, rapping his phalanges against the ancient wood and sliding into the routine as easily as he did into the snow. “Why did Sally fall off the swing?”

“Oh, now you are here?” The response was curt, even for her. “How profoundly lucky am I to be graced with your presence.”

Sans scoffed, lifting a brow bone as he leaned back against the door; Door Lady was crankier than usual tonight. It was gonna be a fun one. “Geez, lady, someone rattle your chain or what? ‘Scuse me if I missed the memo on the fuckin’...school timetable or whatever this is.”

“Hardly. But you have been stopping by approximately the same time for the last three nights – it is called setting a precedent. And surely even you should know it is impolite to keep a lady waiting.”

“Good job it’s just you, then, ain’t it?” Sans snickered as he could practically feel her unamused glare through the thick, battle-dented wood that separated them. “Now do you wanna hear about Sally or what?” (He was actually sorta proud of this one; he’d been saving it for a worthy audience, and those weren’t easy to come by.)

“I suppose,” the lady answered, the slightest hint of a pout in her voice. “Why did she fall off the swing?”

“‘Cause she had no arms.”

“Oh.” A beat went by. “Well, that was a little lacking, even for –“

“Knock knock.”

She huffed an irritable sigh. “Who is there?”

“Dunno, but it ain’t Sally.”

That finally got the reaction he wanted as a snort rumbled through the door, followed by her throaty cackle - long, low and filthy, it sent a shiver of satisfaction through Sans as he chuckled with her. Making her laugh always felt like a victory, somehow. “Oh, how unfortunate,” she drawled, sugary sweet and dripping with contempt for the imaginary kid. “She was one of the lucky ones.”

“Don’t sweat it, she’s totally armless.”

“I suppose that really put her out on a limb.”

“I’d say you gotta hand it to her, but…”

Their snorts and guffaws rang out through the barren forest, sounds it probably didn’t hear often and that definitely would have aroused suspicion, but not many monsters ever wandered this deep into the forest anyway. “All she wants for Gyftmas,” Sans continued, on a roll, “is a break.”

The lady still laughed, but a little less heartily this time. “Oh, is it that time of the year already? I would not know - such things tend to pass one by when every day is much the same as the last one. How nice for those of you with something to celebrate.”

“Yeah, right.” She had a point, Sans had to admit, with a dry, sarcastic snicker. “Don’t mean shit to me either, but I guess it’s somethin’ for the kiddos. ‘Least, til they get old enough to figure out there ain’t no miracle happening any time soon to get us out of this hellhole.”

Weird thing was, he couldn’t even remember being a kid like that himself, a time when he didn’t understand how the world worked - with his HP, he’d had to wise up pretty fast or he’d be long dusted. But he did remember walking hand in hand with Papyrus through the snow - way back  when he was still shorter than Sans and either of them might ever have considered such a display acceptable - and how his brother used  to getso excited he’d almost tripped over his boots until Sans yanked him upright, and let himself be dragged towards the presents at top speed before they all got snatched away. But before they started, Papyrus would always pause to look up at their pathetic excuse for a tree, his sockets sparkling with hope and wonder as if it was the most amazing thing he’d seen since - well, last Gyftmas, as astounding as the stars they’d never get to see.

Might’ve been the last time Gyftmas meant something.

“Yes, well.” Door Lady gave a dismissive snort, snapping him back to reality. “What use have I for such child’s play? The last few foolish enough to wander through my door...well, suffice to say they are long gone.”

That, somehow, didn’t surprise Sans, but noticing her slightly sharper tone, he decided against pointing it out. “Hey, look on the bright side. Maybe this year one of the suckers that throws themselves down here’ll get lucky enough not to make it, and you got you a real nice traditional Gyftmas dinner.”

She hummed, a long, low noise somewhere between intrigue and what almost sounded like desire. “Mmm, I do hope not. Fresh prey always tastes better when it puts up a little struggle, does it not?”

Not for the first time, Sans wasn’t totally sure whether she was kidding – and he kinda liked it. He was pretty good, usually, at reading people, picking up on the little pauses and stutters that most assumed he was too dumb and/or lazy to notice. It was a good way to survive, being able to see through the bullshit, but it also took some of the fun out of seeing how far he could push it when he knew to the second how close Papyrus was to throwing a steaming plate of lasagna in his face.

Door Lady was...different. Probably helped that he had no idea who or even what kind of monster she was, of course, but even though they’d fallen into a thing of telling jokes and talking shit to pass the time, her mood seemed to swing back and forth a hell of a lot more than the door ever did. Some days he just seemed to irritate her, and she’d snap that if he wasn’t going to entertain her, he might as well go off and not do his job elsewhere. Which, whatever - wasn’t like that was anything Sans didn’t hear on a daily basis anyway, but in a weird way her unpredictability was part of the thrill. Made it all the more satisfying when he did get to hear her laugh. And damn, her laugh...

True to form, she dismissed him not long after that, saying she had business to attend to and she was sure he must be terribly busy with Gyftmas preparations for his beloved brother. They shared a sarcastic chuckle at that, but hers had sounded a shade darker than usual - bitter, almost.

Maybe he’d said something to annoy her (unintentionally, mostly) or she was getting bored with him, or - well, whatever, wasn’t Sans’ problem. She was just a voice behind a door, a convenient distraction. None of it meant anything.

He was sharp enough to know by now that you didn’t survive long by imagining it did.

Days went by, and the pile of presents under Snowdin’s tree grew steadily bigger. How many of them would actually make it to Gyftmas unopened was another story, especially if there was anything that the thriftier locals might be able to sell on to Muffet or one of her goons, but whether it was the prospect of more gold or just the place looking a little less of a dump, people did seem happier, or at least less likely to metaphorically or literally snap your skull off for looking at them funny.

Sans had his own reasons for keeping a socket on the gyfts, his grin tugging a little wider when he spotted the telltale gleam of curiosity in his bro-slash-boss’ sockets as they passed the tree every day – not, of course, that the Great and Terrible Papyrus would ever admit to the slightest interest in such things. Gyftmas was for baby bones, Sans, he’d better not be thinking of wasting their hard-earned gold on such frivolous nonsense.

He said the same every year, and every year Sans ignored him, because he still couldn’t think of many better ways to spend his gold than adding to his brother’s now-substantial collection of action figures - if only to catch the briefest glimpse of surprise and excitement flicker across his features, just like when they were baby bones, before it hastily rearranged into his usual scowl. He’d sigh and roll his sockets and mutter something about how if Sans really wanted to help he’d buy him something actually useful, like that new stove they so desperately needed, while mysteriously never getting around to selling the figures that had stood artfully arranged on his desk for years. Sans would shrug and pretend to believe him, while slurping extra appreciatively and obnoxiously from the extra-large bottle of mustard that appeared under the tree for him every year from some mysterious benefactor.

It wasn’t much, but it was their thing – tradition, even, if you wanted to call it that –  and maybe about as close as he ever got to feeling...safe. Comfortable – not, obviously, that Sans or Papyrus or anyone in the Underground with half a brain cell would ever acknowledge it. You sure as shit didn’t survive long down here by laying your soft spots bare for anyone to rip into.

Sans might be a good-for-nothing lazy lump of bones and countless other more colourful terms, by his own admission, but he wasn’t stupid – and yet for some reason, he’d kinda thought that maybe it’d be cool to be able to tell someone about the time he’d had to shove that deluxe Mettaton action figure into his jacket before Papyrus got in (that ultra realistic chainsaw stung like a bitch) or the priceless look of pure terror on that one kid’s face when his mom told him Krampus would be coming for him if he didn’t quit tripping over his tail. Really, he probably should’ve known Door Lady wouldn’t wanna hear about that – or much of anything he had to say, lately. There’d definitely been laughter and a lot more snapping and sighing and the the glare of barely concealed irritation he could practically feel through the door.

If he didn’t know better, he’d suspect she had some kind of issue around the whole Gyftmas thing – bad memories, pretty much everyone was carrying something, or maybe she just hated the idea of other people having fun. But it was an even bigger waste of time than usual, and not the fun kind, to wonder about it – everyone knew you didn’t talk about these things, didn’t trust people outside your closest family (if you were lucky or unlucky, depending on your perspective, enough to have any) with anything the slightest bit personal, and you didn’t get involved with other people’s baggage unless you’d come prepared for a fight. Sans was too tired to start shit; he’d been too tired for most things for a long time, even if she kept wandering into his skull at the most inconvenient times, and he’d catch himself wondering what her deal was. What had happened to the lady with the dirtiest dead baby jokes and even dirtier laugh, the one who made sentry duty with the boss breathing down his clavicle sorta bearable, because – if he was dumb enough to consider being honest with himself or anyone else – he might have been starting to miss her.

The smart thing would’ve been to cut his losses and move on, since he’d obviously outlived his entertainment value and there were plenty other places in the Underground he could nap or jack up the price of hot dogs to a more appreciative (or nonexistent) audience.

Thing was, Sans wasn’t stupid, but he also was never big on doing whatever he was supposed to.

It was, by Toriel’s estimation, the night before Gyftmas. A fact she would not have known, nor would she have cared to know, had it not been for her...friend? It still seemed absurd to think of him as such, a disembodied voice with no face nor name, and yet he was probably the closest equivalent she had had for decades, perhaps centuries, or however long it had been since the term meant anything.

Perhaps visitor was more appropriate;  a moderately amusing, yet inevitably temporary distraction from the tedium of her day-to-day life. Toriel was not alone in the Ruins – she had seen the monsters scurry away into the shadows each day when she swept through the halls, her sharp eyes scanning every corner and crevice for anyone foolish enough to have fallen into her domain, but that was exactly how she wanted it, was it not? The last thing in the world she needed were these snivelling, pitiful little Froggits and Whimsuns getting attached to her in any way, getting under her feet and clutching at her paw. Heaven knew, her nurturing days were long behind her.

Fear was power – as the former queen of the Underground surely knew better than anyone – and having vacated her throne, it was the only sort of power she could hope to yield these days. Yet, she could not quite put her paw on when it had all started to feel...empty. As empty as the Ruins, for all their inhabitants, might well have been when she was around, and empty as the many rooms she no longer had any use for, sitting untouched gathering dust for years. Though she did not care to admit it, her visitor had reminded her of that; of just how good it felt to laugh again, even playfully trading insults. His lack of fear, casual disregard for the authority she would never disclose to him – she could not help but welcome the change, and occasionally found herself anticipating her daily surveillance more than she ever imagined she would, her ears pricking up almost without her permission at those first few raps on the old forest door.

He had been reminding her of many things, as of late, and there were many, many things Toriel did not care to remember, this and any other time of year. At first, she had tried to find it endearing, in a simple-minded way, listening to him prattle on about Snowdin’s Gyftmas preparations with a unmistakable note of fondness that belied his professions of indifference. Yet it was much more difficult to conceal her disgust, much less pretend to be as amused as her visitor was when he turned to stories of the “Krampus” Snowdin residents, in particular, seemed to take such delight in threatening their children with. Of course, she thought bitterly, paying the least amount of attention possible as her visitor recounted the story of one little brat who had seen his presents dissolve into fire magic before his ungrateful eyes, the fool would persist in playing ridiculous games instead of attempting to restore the smallest modicum of hope to his people that no doubt still suffered and squabbled and tore each other apart every day, as they had for centuries.

Pathetic, utterly pathetic – well, let them suffer. Toriel had abdicated her part in the whole sorry charade long ago, and she certainly had not returned to the Ruins to discuss her former husband. She could never be so careless as to let the slightest hint of her true identity slip through the door, of course; any sentry worth his salt would immediately run off with such sensitive information, throwing it out for as much gold as they could get to the many Royal Guards out for her head. As much as she sometimes welcomed the idea of a fight – an opportunity to unleash centuries’ worth of anger and frustration by turning all Asgore’s lackeys to dust – preserving the relative peace and safety she had here was her best hope, if she imagined she would feel such a thing again.

Peace she certainly had, as her visitor had not stopped by for the last two days. Toriel had wondered idly whether he was busy, although she had gathered that his interpretation of “busy” was most often not having time for a nap and drinking copious amounts of mustard on one of his many lunch breaks. Regardless, it was no business of hers; they had no formal obligations to one another, although she had briefly toyed with enlisting him as her eyes on the outside, but that idea now held little appeal. In truth, she could not claim to be surprised if he had finally tired of her pointed remarks and taken his business – or lack thereof – elsewhere, just like the rest of them.

Good riddance, she ought to have thought, for it could have been nothing more than habit that carried her back to the halls, vanquishing the cobwebs with her broom and taking small satisfaction in the startled squeaks of the gold-grubbing spiders dangling from the ceiling, until she reached the familiar, well-worn door. Toriel sighed, shaking her head at the now futile, yet automatic stirring of anticipation in her soul as she nonetheless tapped her claws half-heartedly against the old wood. There was no reason for him to come by tonight, she had not even bothered to suggest it last time they’d talked, so she did not know why...

“Who’s there?”

“...Oh.” Toriel faltered for a moment, blinking foolishly at the door; having not actually anticipated a response, she had not come prepared with a suitable joke. “Old – old lady.”

“No shit. Old lady who?”

“I did not know you could yodel.”

The joke was much more innocent than their usual exchanges - and ancient, almost as much as Toriel herself, but when it elicited a familiar gravelly chuckle she felt herself relax a little, her own muzzle curling into a smile. “Lady, there’s a lotta things you don’t know about me.”

Well, that was certainly true for the both of them, and yet she felt a peculiar kind of relief, a warmth settling over her like an old, scratchy but nevertheless comforting blanket as she sank into a sitting position, leaning back against the door with her paws clasped around her knees as she awaited his response.

“‘Kay, I got one. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Gyftmas party?”

“I cannot imagine why.”

“He had nobody to go with.”

“Oh, that is truly dreadful,” Toriel snorted, her braying laugh echoing through the empty Ruins - so dreadful it was genius, and actually her favourite kind of joke since she was a young girl, like a distant whisper of simpler times. She would not tell her fr - visitor that, though, for he was surely smug enough as it is.

“C’mon, it’s a bone-cold classic. Hey, uh, speaking of...” As their laughter slowly died away, she heard him scuffling about in the snow, followed by what sounded like the crinkling of paper, “don’t get mushy on me or nothing, but I found this lyin’ around and I thought maybe - uh - here, just take it…”

An even louder snort escaped her at that, though more of disbelief than anything. “My goodness. You have not brought me a gyft?”

She was waiting for some punchline or other, but instead a rectangular object, crudely covered by a few sheets of old newspaper, poked its way through the small space under the door before jamming halfway through, causing the old wood to give an almighty creak. Toriel simply scoffed and rolled her eyes at the soft grunt of exertion and his poor attempt to shove it through the space, a little sorry he could not witness the full effect of her disdain.

“A flawlessly executed delivery,” she observed, deadpan. “Here, just let me -"

She grasped the sides of the package and tugged, and after a moment’s struggle it slid free and her fingertips brushed against something else. Slight and bony, yet surprisingly warm, they were unmistakably fingers - his fingers, and that briefest of contact sent an unexpected jolt of electricity up Toriel’s arm and through her magic as she immediately pulled her paw away as though she had burned herself on the stove.

Hurriedly, she turned her attention to the object in hand, her claws making short work of the wrapping (if one could call it that) to reveal its contents.

“Human Hunting with Fluffy Bunny,” she read, arching an eyebrow in bemusement at the sight of a simplistic cartoon rabbit, proudly bearing an axe in its teeth while holding up a distressed-looking head. “...What? Why in the world are you giving me this?”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome,” her visitor retorted, effortlessly bouncing back her own sarcasm in a way she could not help but smirk a little at. “It’s the boss’ fave, y’know. Swiped it fresh from the librarby.”

She was about to correct his abysmal pronunciation, but as she idly drummed her claws over the bunny’s face, Toriel felt a few joints slide into place in her mind, and the revelation hit her: “Wait a moment. It is you. You are the skeleton.”

There was a long, protracted silence, more than enough to confirm her suspicions. “...Heh. Welp, congrats, lady. Finally saw through me, huh?”

His tone remained flippant as ever, but having many centuries’ experience of keeping and guarding secrets, Toriel easily detected the tremor in his voice, that potentially fatal moment of hesitation as he waited to see how she might leverage this new-found information against him. Though, honestly, it ought to have been of no interest to her whatsoever - the species of a lowly sentry mattered not in the slightest. It was her identity that may have been compromised by that...moment of contact, her hand reflexively curling into a fist as she recalled how very tiny and fragile his fingers - phalanges - felt against her own; to her simultaneous embarrassment and immense relief that the man on the other side could not see her, Toriel became aware that the warmth was rising to her cheeks as well. This was ridiculous - had it truly been so long since she had touched another monster, however briefly or inadvertently, that it should affect her this much?

“Hmmm. How very interesting,” she mused, elongating the vowels to regain most of her composure through drawing out the wait, and rather wishing she might be able to see him squirm. “It has been such a long time since I have seen one of your kind. Why, I would not have been surprised to hear you had all died out some decades ago.”

He let out a gruff chuckle, perhaps just a touch more defensive than usual. “Well, maybe there ain’t too many of us left, but lemme assure ya, lady: calcium’s tough stuff.”

“Now that I think about it, it does explain a lot. Of course, only a genuine bonehead could consider this an appropriate gift for a fully grown woman.” Fully grown and considerably larger than him, as she now understood, although it did not explain quite why that thought lingered in her mind as it did.

He laughed more fully at that, a sound she had come to savour; it sounded a little like he was gargling rocks. For all Toriel knew, he may have been. Perhaps it was a common skeleton practice.

“Okay, geez - you don’t want it? Just slide it on back to me and -”

“No,” Toriel protested, a little more forcefully than she’d intended as she protectively clasped Fluffy Bunny to her chest - it was absurd, she knew, but any book she had not read a hundred times over was indeed a rare and precious commodity. Plus...it was a gyft. However unsatisfactory, one did not simply throw such things back in someone’s face...or under the door, as the case may be. “I mean, I...I want to know what happens.”

She did not need to see her visitor to be absolutely certain that his grin was now at its smuggest. Even more curiously, she was discovering, it was infectious. “Gotcha. No spoilers. Lucky we already got, like, five copies back home - trust me, you do not wanna try sending Boss to bed without his bun. Huh, right, guess I should…” Toriel heard the creak of the door as he got up, followed by a barely audible popping noise and a soft, satisfied sigh; stretching out his bones, she supposed, now more curious as to what it might look like than she ever imagined being. “G’night, lady. And, uh...happy -“

“Do not,” Toriel interrupted, before he could say it, but she could summon no sincere vitriol in her voice and he simply chuckled knowingly.

“See ya ‘round.”

Neither of them had any need for such sentiment, and Toriel carried no more affection for the season back to her empty house than she had left with.

But perhaps, she reflected, walking briskly back through the Ruins with her first real gyft in centuries carefully tucked under her arm and the remnants of a smile lingering on her lips - of all the Gyftmases she had still to endure, some of them might be a little less...bonely.