#why didn't you just do what you were told?: essays (book)

[azrakaban]

Thief - Mattheo Riddle

A/N: Why did I do this? Far too late too be writing there will be no spell check <3

Summary: Mattheo keeps using pick up lines on you. Will they work? That's a different question...

The house isn't mentioned too much, but reader is implied a Gryffindor <3

n/n: nickname

Warnings: Mattheo (he's a warning okay), swearing, mentions of drugs and cigarettes

...

"Are you homework? Because I wanna slam you down on the table and do you." Mattheo smirked, and you nearly choked.

For the past two weeks, Mattheo had been popping out of nowhere to use stupid pick up lines on you. It's become quite alarming, with him dropping smoke bombs on you to appear out of 'nowhere', flying up to your dorm window on his broom, sending a howler... Mattheo Riddle is nothing if not persistent. And it was all started by a conversation you'd been having with Pansy Parkinson a week ago.

...

"-I just don't think they're that bad. Cheesy maybe, but I'd say yes to a good pick up line actually." You said to Pansy, walking to potions together.

"What constitutes a good pick up line though?" She questioned you, giving you a side smile.

"If it makes me laugh, it's good. The perfect combination of cheesy and funny. Most people overdo them. The craft of a perfect pick up line is an art." You replied, fiddling with the straps on your bag.

Mattheo Riddle then brushed past you, dramatically falling to the floor.

"Ouch! I just skinned my knee! Falling for you." He said, smirking.

You stood there, frozen and confused. "What?" You said finally.

"You said you'd say yes to a good pick up line, princess. How was that?" Mattheo said, standing and looking at you with a small smirk playing at his lips.

You laughed. "Come up with an original one and then we'll talk."

"Oh come on! That was original!" He protested, before being smacked over the head by Enzo.

"Liar, I told you that one." Enzo said, rolling his eyes at you with a 'can you believe him?' expression on his face.

You shook your head, smiling before heading to potions with Pansy.

You smiled, shaking your head as you walked with Pansy to Potions.

...

That was how you'd got to the point you were at now, still waiting for Mattheo to come up with a pick up line that didn't make you want to jump off of the astronomy tower.

That was the deal. If Mattheo could make you laugh with a pick up line, you would go on a date with him. If you didn't laugh, he wouldn't be allowed to smoke a cigarette for the rest of the day. So far, it's been 3 weeks of no cigarettes for Mattheo.

...

"Are you homework? Because I wanna slam you down on the table and do you." You nearly choked, resisting the urge to smash a book over Mattheo's stupid pretty head.

You looked to him with a sigh, being met with a shit eating grin.

"That's my favourite so far personally." He said conversationally, opening his Transfiguration textbook.

"That may just be one of the worst." You replied, shaking your head with a smile.

"Yes, and?" He raised an eyebrow.

You rolled your eyes, turning back to your essay. A few other students cast weird looks your way, a Gryffindor and a Slytherin sat together. You paid them no notice, crossing out a few things on your essay.

Mattheo leaned across, trying to look at yours, and you pulled it away.

"Ah ah ah. I know your thieving tendencies, stealing pick up lines from books and people, you're not stealing my Transfiguration notes." You said, glaring playfully.

He rolled his eyes with a small smile playing at his lips.

"Fine. But just so you know, the name for people who can turn into animals is 'Animagi', not 'AniwhatthefuckjustcameoutofRiddle'smouth'.

You glared at him, crossing it out and scribbling over it to make it unreadable.

"When McGonagall asks, I'm blaming you." You said, looking up a definition in your text book.

"Sure. You'll probably find what to say to her under 'I was the recipient of a legendary pick up line.'" He said, gesturing towards your textbook.

You smacked his hand away, and he gasped, recoiling.

"Offended, princess. Offended." He said, putting on an expression of mock offense.

A Ravenclaw boy from your charms class came over, and instantly, Mattheo's guard was up again. He glared at the boy, and the boy, thinking better of it, decided not to disturb you two. You giggled.

"You switch up faster than Snape runs from shampoo." You commented, highlighting a part of your book on merpeople. Mattheo glanced over.

"You know what the little mermaid and me have in common?" He said abruptly.

"Bad grammar?" You guessed. He sighed dramatically.

"We both wanna be part of your world." He wiggled his eyebrows, and you had to bite your lip to keep from crying.

"Mattheo, what crime did I commit to end up in this purgatory?" You said, pinching the bridge of your nose.

"The only crime is your criminal beauty." He said with a smirk. You groaned. "Sorry yn, I'm not good at holding conversations. Can I hold your hand instead?"

"I'm going to cry. Or die." You whispered to yourself.

He laughed. "You'll come around eventually yn. You know, my favourite number is 14, because you're the 1 4 me."

You nearly screamed. "Leave. I'm begging you. Come back later."

"Alrighty, fine. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I come back later?"

You threw a book at his head, which he caught somehow.

"Damn girl, good thing I've got my library card because I'm checking you out."

You glared at him, and, finally picking up on his cue, Mattheo left.

...

It had been a few days since the library incident. Three days of peace. Thank god life isn't Duolingo, because you were about to lose that streak.

A note was slipped onto your desk during history of magic. You looked up, read it, and steadfastly ignored it.

'God damn girl r u a bank loan cuz u got my interest ;)'

Another appeared when you started doodling. 'r u an artist cuz u were so good at drawing me in (⁠✷⁠‿⁠✷⁠)'

that one you actually replied to, flipping over the paper. 'damn boy are you the terms and conditions? Because I don't give a fuck what you say ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡' .

When Mattheo received that note back he sighed dramatically, clutching his heart as if you'd mortally wounded him.

A minute later, the note was back on your desk. 'My favourite insect? The butterflies u give me ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯'

You groaned, quickly scribbling a response. 'Can you stop for just a few minutes pls I'm trying to pay attention to the history of magic.'

'I may not go down in history but I'll definitely go down on u ;)'

'Azkaban. Now.'

'xx.'

...

The next day, in the Great Hall, you were saying with your friends when Mattheo came over and joined you at the Gryffindor table. You raised an eyebrow.

"Last time I checked, Riddle, your tie was green." You said, smiling slightly.

"It is. I just wanted to see you in the morning. I mean, kiss me if I'm wrong, but the rain is so heavy right now." He said nonchalantly.

You turned to look out of the window.

It was a clear day, with sun shining through a cloudless sky.

You sighed, turning back to him as he gave you a 'what can I say?' look. You shook your head, smiling.

He turned back to your table, looking at the food. "Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?" He said, smirking.

You rolled your eyes. "Go back to your own table Riddle."

"Are you my appendix? Because I feel like I should take you out." He replied, smiling slightly.

"Wait what? Is your appendix okay?" You said worriedly.

"Yeah no it's fine, don't worry. Just a pick up line yn, calm down, it won't bite. Just me making jokes about bad health, like 'are you asthma? Because you take my breath away.'" He replied, shaking his head with a small smile playing at his lips.

"Okay..." You said, still slightly concerned.

Mattheo smirked. "Are you my father? Because I wish you were around more." You looked at him, even more concerned than before. "I'm starting to wonder if you need therapy." You said, a small smile playing at your lips.

"I don't need therapy, I just need you to come to dinner with me, because I can't spell menu without me n u." He said, smiling. You very nearly laughed, which didn't go unnoticed.

Mattheo stood up, nodding a goodbye before heading back to the slytherin table, where his friends were not so subtly calling him over.

"She nearly laughed. Shit." Mattheo whispered to his friends. They laughed. "Not funny. I really like her, I wasn't expecting her to nearly laugh. I'm close." He said, mainly speaking to himself.

Theo clapped him on the back. "You're down bad mate." He said, shaking his head. Mattheo sighed, turning to look at you quickly. "Yeah. J am." He admitted.

...

A few minutes later, you stood, heading out into the entrance hall, and were immediately ambushed by Cormac McLaggen. Yippee.

"Your lips look lonely, do they wanna meet mine?" He said, smirking.

"Are you bad WiFi? Because I'm feeling no connection here." You replied, not looking at him and trying to brush past him.

He stopped you, gripping your shoulder and not so gently shoving you back. You adjusted your bag and faced him, looking confused.

"A little too fast to brush me off there l/n." He said, still with that obnoxious smirk. To be fair, all smirks are obnoxious. Well... not all smirks. An image flashed into your mind of a certain slytherin with curly brown hair and chocolate eyes.

You zoned back into the moron stood infront of you, who was now attempting to lecture you on how you should have replied to his pick up line. You zoned out again, until you registered what he was saying.

"-Make it up to me." He finished, and you raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry what?" You said, looking confused.

"You heard me. You'll need to make it up to me, because you just embarrassed me." He said, puffing up his chest with his own importance.

"I don't need to do anything for you, McLaggen. I rejected you, your ego can take it." You said patiently, waiting for it to sink in for him. You attempted to walk away.

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed the Slytherins leaving the hall. A hand grilled your wrist, painful and harshly. McLaggen glared at you.

"I don't get why Riddle is telling everyone to leave you alone, 'Princess'. You're not even that special, probably just whoring yourself out to the first guy who comes to yo-"

That was all you heard before someone's fist connected with Cormac's jaw, sending him flying to the ground.

You watched in slight horror as Mattheo pummelled McLaggen into the flagstones. Only slight horror though. McLaggen was insufferable.

You watched, frozen, as Mattheo's friends held McLaggen down for him, rather than pulling Mattheo off of him.

Eventually, the teachers arrived and pulled he boys off of McLaggen, whom was now sporting a black eye, cracked teeth, a dented nose and a split lip.

"Nobody calls her that. And only I call her Princess." Mattheo spat.

You were dragged with them to McGonagall's office and told to wait outside.

...

A half hour later, Draco, Theo and Blaise emerged from the office, not looking at all bothered by what just went down. You gave them a sheepish look, and Blaise shrugged.

"We got detention, no big deal." You felt bad, given it was partially your fault.

"I'm sorry you guys got detention." You said sympathetically. They shook their heads.

"It's not your fault, l/n, it's not like you asked us to do anything." Theo said, rolling his eyes, but not maliciously.

"Is Mattheo okay?" You asked carefully, trying to seem nonchalant.

"Wouldn't you like to know." Enzo said, appearing from McGonagall's office with a smirk. Draco elbowed him, and Enzo sighed. "He's fine, but he's got two months of detention, so no more evening study dates/hangouts for you two." He continued, and you blushed.

"They're not dates." You said, shaking your head. Blaise smirked. "You might wanna tell him that. He comes back from the library looking like Cupid was feeling particularly violent."

You rolled your eyes, smiling. "I'm sure you're being dramatic." The boys violently shook their heads.

"Far from. There are Polaroids. Seriously, y/n, I know we're supposed to be his wingmen and make him seem cool and chill, but the reality is that Mattheo is absolutely disgustingly in love with you." Theo stated plainly.

"And it's a pain for all of us when he won't shut up about you (no offence), so do us a favour and go out with him?" Enzo continued, looking at you pleadingly. "Before he realised you didn't want to be talking to McLaggen, he looked like a kicked puppy."

You pictured the image mentally. Damn his stupid pretty brown stupid eyes.

"I can't go out with him until he makes me laugh with a pick up line I haven't heard before." You said, sighing. "If I just go out with him without laughing, he wins! I can't lose to him, I've been so strong all of these weeks." You said, gritting your teeth.

"Are you saying it's been hard for you to turn him down?" Draco said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. No. Shut up." You said, hiding your face in your hands and sinking down onto a chair by the door.

"It's okay to like Mattheo, y/n. Sure, he's a massive pain in the ass and he's rude to a lot of people besides you, but you read Twisted Love, you're probably into that." Theodore said, shrugging.

You gave him a look of disbelief. "You know Twisted Love?" Theo blushed faintly.

"I have sisters."

"Anyway guys, I appreciate whatever it is you're doing for Mattheo, but my decision is clear. When he makes me laugh, I'll go out with him." You said, smiling.

"Fine. We'll help him out, because we're rooting for you two." Enzo said, checking his watch. "Don't I know it." You muttered. Enzo smiled. Mattheo emerged from McGonagall's office, looking only slightly like his mood had been dampened. You gave him a small smile.

"You okay Riddle?" His eyes moved to you, and a hint of surprise flickered in them.

"Y/n? Did McGonagall ask you to wait?" He said, confused.

"Actually, y/n is here of her own free will." Enzo cut in, smirking. You blushed, looking down and Mattheo smiled faintly.

"Oh yeah? Going soft on me Princess?" He said, crouching down to force you to look at him.

You looked up and he straightened, still watching you intently.

"In your dreams Riddle." He smiled.

"Actually, you are in my dreams, y/n. You're a recurring dream for me, do you want to make us a reality?" He said, giving you a look.

(I'm sorry I have to insert this, it's this look. This one.)



You smiled. "You know the rules, Mattheo. I laugh, I'll go on a date with you." You said.

He sighed dramatically. "I'm in pain, y/n. Pain. But that is true. And I will be holding you to it." He says, smiling.

"I'd expect nothing less from you Riddle." You fiddled with the sleeves of your sweater.

"Good. Do you mind if I talk to you? Alone?" Mattheo asked, his tone changing to one of slight concern.

You frowned slightly, but nodded. He led you away from his friends, who quickly disappeared off to the Slytherin common room.

Mattheo took a deep breath and turned to you. "Y/n, I know I'm irritating you. I know I'm distracting you, I saw the mark you got on your last transfiguration exam. And I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I was distracting you when you tried to revise, and I keep pestering you everywhere, and if you want me just to leave you alone I completely get it." He said, looking slightly mad at himself.

You opened your mouth to talk but he cut you off.

"And I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything, you don't owe me a date, you didn't have to wait for me outside McGonagall's office just because I fought McLaggen for you. You don't have to do anything for me, okay?" He continued, looking away from you.

"I know I don't have to do anything for you Mattheo. I want to." You replied, speaking quietly and hesitantly.

He frowned, raising an eyebrow. "You want to?"

You nodded. "I like your company. I don't mind having you around, it's fun. You're not as bad as I first thought. Actually, you're nothing like what I first thought." You said, trailing off as you saw his smile.

"And what did you originally think I was like?" He smirked.

"Arrogant. Sarcastic. Bit of an asshole." Mattheo shrugged, agreeing with you.  "Honestly? I thought that the whole pick up lines thing was a joke for ages." You admitted.

The smile dropped from his face. "A joke? What do you mean?" He said, frowning and trying to meet your eyes.

"You know. Like you were doing it for a dare." He shook his head. "Y/n, I'd never do that. I genuinely do care about you a lot. Merlin, I care about you so stupidly much that I punched a guy. I know that's bad, and I swear I'm not usually violent but he was harassing you. And all I could think was 'no. no no no no no.'" He sighed.

You smiled, taking a step closer. "You're sweet, Mattheo. Kinda cute actually." He raised an eyebrow.

"You think I'm cute?" You blushed.

"no. you must have hallucinated it." You said, shaking your head.

"I mean, I'm flattered y/n. I hope you know CPR, because you're taking my breath away." He said, smirking as you stepped closer to him. You giggled slightly, before realising.

Mattheo's eyes widened. "You laughed. You laughed at my pick up line. The one I came up with literally a second ago." You smiled.

"Maybe I did. What does that mean Riddle?" You said, stepping closer.

"It means you should go on a date with me. But you don't have to if you don't want to, okay?" He said, smiling down at you.

"I want to." You said. Mattheo exhaled slowly, stepping closer. His hands came to rest on your hips, not moving. He gave you time to push him away, but you didn't, so his hands stilled.

"You want to?" He repeated, making sure.

You nodded. "Mhm. It's why I've gone along with this for so long." You giggled, as his forehead uncreased and he relaxed slightly, before quickly lifting you up and spinning you around.

You laughed as he put you back down, noticing the lack of space between you. Your eyes flickered to his lips, which didn't go unnoticed.

Mattheo's eyes landed on your lips, and then returned to your eyes. There was so little distance between you two.

You nodded slightly, registering his silent request. "Mattheo..." You whispered. That was it for him. His lips crashed into yours, one hand cupping your face and the other resting on your hip.

You kissed him back, letting him gently back you into a wall, hand moving to the back of your head to keep you comfortable.

Eventually, you both pulled back for air, slightly breathless. You smiled, and he brushed some hair out of your eyes.

"Be mine?" He said in a low voice, practically begging you.

"I'm already yours." You whispered back to him, letting him kiss you again.

This kiss lasted less time than the first, but was still beautiful.

"But we're still going on that date right?" You asked, smiling.

"Wouldn't have it any other way, princess." He replied, smiling as he rested his forehead against yours.

A flash went off, and you turned to see Theodore and Colin Creevey. Theodore took the photo from Colin, smirking. "Mattheo, you're a fucking simp."

"Damn right." Mattheo replied, smiling slightly at you.

...

A/N: My first actual Mattheo fic! Doesn't make sense, seeing as he's my favourite slytherin boy. Anyway, I feel like I'm horrible at writing kiss scenes, so lemme know if it was too cringy or smth like that! Thnx for reading<333

[pottersfia]

omg since you said you were in the mood for theo fluff… can i please request some mutual pining, grumpy x sunshine, hufflepuff reader fluff? 🤭 where his friends are teasing him for being all happy around her since they started talking more and it ends with a confession or something?

a/n: AHHH i loved this so much thank you for the request, hopefully you enjoy it i’m always iffy about my fics but… anyway!

word count: 1,159

potions class was arguably one of the most interesting classes you had, but that didn't mean it wasn't challenging. you were assigned to brew felix felicis and you were finding it hard to simply start.

you looked around at the students next to you. your fellow hufflepuff friends seemed to be struggling a bit as well. on the other side of you were a few slytherins, draco, blaise, and theodore who you had only talked to a handful of times.

"doing alright, y/n?" your friend hannah asked. you turned to her and looked down at the "potion infront of you as you replied with, "umm.. not so much?" you laughed with hannah as she told you about how confused she was herself.

you looked back over at theodore who was right next to you. you saw how he skillfully accomplished each step with ease. as if he could feel your gaze he looked up at you.

"do you need something?" he asked, causing you to look up at him.

"oh! sorry i just," you pointed to his potion, "i'm completely confused, how did you do that?" you asked.

without a word he helped you with the first step. he laid out everything you needed and mixed your first ingredients.

"just follow my lead." he smirked slightly at you. you nodded and followed all his movements.

•••

"thanks for the help, theodore." you said as class ended. he couldn't help but smile slightly at your words. no one really called him theodore. it was always nott or theo. he liked it coming from you.

"anytime." he said and left to catch up with his friends.

the next few days you and theodore talked more and more in potions class. well, you did most of the talking, eagerly ranting about a book you read or complaining about an assignment you did bad on, whatever it was theodore was all ears. draco and blaise were completely shocked by this. normally their friend didn't bother talking you anyone besides them in their classes. he kept to himself often dozing off or whispering to draco and blaise instead of paying attention.

but now his energy switched as he'd walk into potions. once he saw you sat at your seat talking to hannah his face lit up with a small smile. a smile draco and blaise never missed. he greeted you cheerfully and encouraged you to converse with him about any and everything.

•••

"what did you get on the essay, theo?" pansy asked the boy who clearly wasn't paying attention to the conversation his friends were having. the group was out in the courtyard killing sometime during their free afternoon.

"theo? hello?" pansy waved her hand infront of his face after he didn't respond. he looked away from what was distracting him and looked back at pansy.

"what?" he asked. draco and blaise laughed knowing exactly what was happening.

"why are you two laughing?" he asked.

"a little distracted by someone, theo?" draco teased.

"a little more than a little bit." pansy grumbled.

"someone? who?" daphne asked. theodore rolled his eyes.

"drop it draco." he said.

"it's y/n. that hufflepuff in our potions class." blaise pointed to you, sitting under a tree talking to a few of your friends. how cold he not stare at you, he thought you looked perfect all of the time. you turned and saw the group of slytherins staring at you and as intimidating as it was, you smiled and waved at theodore quickly turning away. he smiled.

"oh you're whipped." draco laughed.

"i knew something was different about you." daphne smiled. theodore gave her a questioning look. "you've been so happy lately."

"i don't know what you mean." theodore shrugged.

"you should see him in potions class, he sits right next to her." blaise commented.

"all he does is smile and stare at her." draco and blaise laugh some more, pansy and daphne joining in at the image of theodore nott being smitten.

"it's not that funny." he replied. 

"it kind of is, mate." blaise said. "why don't you just ask her out."

"she doesn't like me like that."

"are you dumb." draco shoved his shoulder.

"no, she doesn't! she's just a nice person. she talks to everyone."

meanwhile, you and your friends, hannah and susan, were talking about none other than theodore.

"he's pretty hot, you have good taste y/n." hannah said.

"but does he actually talk?" susan asked

"of course he does. i mean, i talk more but he has a voice." you reply.

"and he's actually nice?"

"he is! and he's funny too."

"he hasn't asked to shag you?"

you squinted your eyes at susan. "no. he hasn't."

you had a feeling he might like you too, but you weren't sure. he'd sometimes give you little compliments or make flirty comments but everyone said he was basically an f boy. you found that a little hard to believe after getting to know him more, though.

"you should ask him out." hannah said.

"what?" you raised your eyebrows.

"y/n, i see the way he looks at you during potions class, there's no way he'd say no!" she said.

"do it now!" susan smiled.

“now?!” you exclaimed.

“now!” they both practically yelled at you, which caught the attention of theodore and his other slytherin friends.

“guys shut up! ok. i’ll go.” you stood up and nervously walked over to theodore with a smile.

theodore couldn’t keep his eyes off you. he smiled once he caught your eyes and saw you were approaching him.

“guys, shut up, she’s coming.” he whisper shouted to the group.

you gave a small wave once you stood infront of theodore.

“hi theodore.” you said.

“theodore?” pansy questioned but blaise shoved her to keep her quiet.

“hi y/n.” theodore replied.

“i wanted to tell you something.”

theodore stood up.

“you can tell me away from these losers.” he placed his hand on your arm and led you away from his friends who were making teasing and making comments.

“i actually wanted to ask you something too.” he said.

“really? what is it?” you asked. he shook his head.

“you first.” he put his hand in his pockets and tilted his head with a small smirk. you sighed and fidgeted with your fingers.

“i just wanted to saw that i like you. like a lot, and i wanted to know if you maybe wanted to go out sometime? with me?” you asked. theodore was, for lack of better words, flabbergasted. he sort of froze partially because he couldn’t believe you were asking him out and partially because he wanted to ask first.

“i was going to ask the same thing.” he smiled. a wide smile, bigger than the small smirks he usually gave you. it was beautiful. “of course i do, y/n. i like you too.”

you smiled back at him and gave him a hug which he instantly reciprocated.

[genericpuff]

The Elephant in the Room - Queer Erasure and Westernization in Lore Olympus (and all its horrid stepchildren)

This is one people have been asking me for a while now, and I've been waiting for the right inspiration to hit, as is required for my ADHD hyperfixation-fueled rants. After recently watching a video that did an objective review of Cait Corrain's Crown of Starlight, I felt now was the time, because Crown of Starlight effectively proves exactly what Lore Olympus - and other Greek myth interpretations like it - has issues with.

And I want to preface this post with one question - why do we keep getting these Greek myth adaptations written by queer women that still wind up perpetuating toxic heteronormative culture?

Buckle up, because this one's HEFTY.

In that aforementioned review of A Crown of Starlight, there were a lot of points that came up about how Cait wrote the female protagonist - Ariadne, wife of Dionysus - where I immediately stopped and went, "Wait, this sounds awfully familiar."

It should be mentioned briefly for anyone who's unaware - Cait Corrain is an author who was recently (and still) under fire for using sock puppet accounts on GoodReads to intentionally sabotage the ratings of other debut authors, many of whom were her own peers or from the same publishing imprint as her (Del Rey), and most of whom were POC. I mentioned in that previous essay that I just linked that Cait Corrain is a fan of Lore Olympus and decided to give it 5 star ratings from these alt accounts, not just de-legitimizing the reputation of the books she bombed, but also the ones that she praised (including her own book, because of course she had to leave an obvious calling card LMAO). I felt it necessary to tie Cait into my discussion of white feminism in LO and its fanbase because people like Cait are exactly who we're talking about when we dissect the intent and consequences of LO's writing - much of its brand of "feminism" seems to only be catered to a specific kind of woman (i.e. white women who fetishize queer people/relationships) and seem to encourage/embrace violence towards women if those women aren't "behaving correctly" or just aren't fortunate enough to be white and rich - and so Cait choosing to give Lore Olympus 5 stars in her hate-raiding and even have it visibly in the background of her headshot photos was... not exactly disproving my argument that these are the types of people LO caters to and encourages, to say the least.

But then I watched Read with Rachel's "Did It Deserve 1 Star" review of Crown of Starlight and it cemented my assumptions and concerns regarding Cait's intentions and influences even more.

As a brief tangent, I've read A Touch of Darkness by Scarlett St. Claire. It very obviously is using Lore Olympus as its blueprints, but it's not super obvious that if you didn't read Lore Olympus or weren't aware of it, you probably wouldn't notice. It's still not a great book on its own, it's riddled with writing problems, but at least it can call itself its own thing to some degree.

Crown of Starlight is just blatant Lore Olympus fanfiction pretending to be original, even down to its marketing (which I'll get to shortly) but swapping out Hades and Persephone with Dionysus and Ariadne, and setting the entire story in space. Why is it in space? There doesn't seem to be any actual necessary reason for this, it just is, go with it. I'd be willing to accept this because changing up the setting of pre-existing stories can be fun (god knows I loved the premise enough of Lore Olympus being a modern day Greek myth retelling that I had to go and make my own version of it that's still in that modern setting) but as RWR says in her review:

"... we're told that it's the 'island' of Crete, but then we talk about commbands, airlocks, [holo-shields] and it wasn't really written in a way that I felt meshed 'Greek retelling' and 'sci-fi' in a cohesive way."

Needless to say, Crown of Starlight unsurprisingly suffers from the same problems Lore Olympus does, where it will try to "subvert" the original myths by changing their setting and characters and then doing absolutely nothing interesting with them to justify those changes.

To really drive my point home that Crown of Starlight is undoubtedly Lore Olympus fanfiction, Lore Olympus was literally used as a comparison point in Crown of Starlight's marketing which is a fair tactic to use to advertise to a specific niche or demographic, and while some have argued that Cait isn't technically the one to come up with that marketing jargon, it's made much more clear that she used that comparison herself when writing and pitching the book because it is quite literally just Lore Olympus with a different couple in space, right down to the main female protagonist being part of a purity cult. And of course it wouldn't be a bad Wattpad romance if it didn't have our main female protagonist Ariadne talking about how inconvenient her MASSIVE BREASTS are and of COURSE Ariadne is a poor innocent uwu babygirl who needs a man to come in and rescue her from the evil purity cult and of COURSE it hints at them eventually having raunchy sex just for it to wind up being milquetoast bondage and of COURSE it all just winds up taking traditionally queer characters and stories and turning them into this sanitized Disney-esque plotline where the boy and girl were always meant to be together and nothing else matters except their love-

And that, at its core, really just screams "this is bad LO fanfiction". From the stylization of the book's writing which never outgrew its "adorkable fanfiction writing" phase-

"Realizing that I'm being gaslit by my entire world doesn't make it easier to deal with, but hey, at least I still have some part of my soul!" - an excerpt from Crown of Starlight quoted from RWR's review timestamp 13:03

-to the "creative" choices made to turn Ariadne into a chastity cult girl whose resolution is obviously going to be to have what's implied to be dirty raunchy sex just for it to be like... the most tame level one bondage stuff;

-to the classic "she breasted boobily down the stairs" focus on Ariadne's body and breasts and sex appeal that's being kept in check by that pesky purity club.

And that's really disappointing because I had seen people say, "Yeah, Cait did an awful thing and deserves to be removed from her publishing schedule, but it's a shame that that book was written by Cait because it's actually a really good book!" because now it's just making me even more sus of people's Greek myth adaption recommendations (I'm still mad at BookTok for convincing me that A Touch of Darkness was worth reading). All I could think while listening to some of the excerpts quoted by RWR was that if I didn't know about Cait Corrain and read Crown of Starlight blind, I'd undoubtedly assume it was being written by a heterocis guy... but it's in fact being written by a queer woman.

And this is where I segue into talking about the root of this problem, where the calls are really coming from - Lore Olympus and its erasure of queer identities and relationships, despite also being written by a queer woman who should know better.

I could think of no better character to help carry this essay than Eros.

Unlike many of the characters in LO that Rachel has managed to straightwash by changing their motives entirely or straight up changing their identity from the source material (ex. Zeus, Apollo, Crocus who was turned into a flower nymph, Dionysus and Achilles because they're both literally babies, the list goes on), Eros has largely remained the same on paper who had zero reason to not be queer within the story.

Eros is still the god of love in this, he's still a guy and presumed to be an adult, but we NEVER see or explore him having relationships with anyone other than Psyche, aside from a brief mention of organizing orgies in the beginning that's used as a quick joke and then promptly never mentioned again.

Just like with Crown of Starlight and A Touch of Darkness and all these other "dark romance" stories, it's that brand of "pretends to be sexually liberating but isn't actually" writing, where they'll briefly mention orgies or sex-related things and then beat around the bush or avoid involving them entirely like a kid at Sunday school who doesn't want to say the word "penis".

(fr out of all the corny and awful slang for genitals I've seen used in stories like this, "a certain part of my anatomy" is definitely one of the most boring and stupid, like for god's sakes Hades you're both adults and at the beginning of this comic you thought she wanted to bang in the kitchen, why are you suddenly talking like a 7 year old boy LOL)

All that aside, while Eros might still be hinted at being queer and sex-positive, it's only as vaguely as possible so that the story can quickly move on to focus on him and Psyche or, better yet, Hades and Persephone. When Eros isn't deadset on finding Psyche, he's being the gay best friend for Persephone, who he has NO right having a friendship with when he introduced himself by intentionally getting her as drunk as possible with the intent of dumping her in Hades' car as per his mom's command. It's brushed off later as "well Aphrodite maaade him do it, for Psycheee!" but Eros still agreed to potentially put Persephone in danger over a relationship that had NOTHING to do with her and was also mostly his fault in its fallout (which Artemis calls him out for, but of course, like all the other times characters have called out the actual issues in the story they're inhabiting, they get brushed aside so that Persephone can talk about Hades):

Now, the Eros and Psyche plotline is one I've talked about before here and not the focus of this essay so I'll keep this tangent brief, but it's absolutely wild to me that Rachel took a story about a woman going to the ends of the earth to prove her love for someone whose trust she broke (a common theme in a lot of Greek myth stories, such as the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice) and turned it into... woman of color gets turned into a nymph slave for Aphrodite to 'test' Eros, a test that isn't clear at all in what it's trying to achieve, and wait hold up, didn't Eros actually fail that test by kissing Ampelus while completely unaware that it was Psyche-

This is just that episode of Family Guy where Peter justifies emotionally cheating and eventually physically cheating on Lois because "well you were the phone sex lady the whole time so no harm done!", isn't it? (×﹏×)

Anyways. It's all very convenient that the comic will hint at queer rep just to either have it be a constant question of whether or not they're actually queer (ex. Morpheus) OR to have it be promptly swept under the rug to make way for other characters/plot points. It's like when mongie tried to be "inclusive" by writing a stereotypical vaguely Asian character with no specific ethnicity just to get angry at her fanbase for calling her out on this that you can't just call a vaguely Asian character "representation" of anything (because Asia is MASSIVE and covers so many different ethnicities and languages and cultures).

Eros is only as gay as he needs to be to fill the role of "gay best friend" for Persephone.

Krokos is no longer a male lover of Hermes but a flower nymph created by Persephone because... apparently we can't dare imply that Hermes would be into anyone besides his unrequited childhood love, Persephone.

Achilles is introduced as a baby even though it makes no sense in the comic's own timeline where Odysseus is presumably already a well-known hero in Olympus, so much so that he was invited to the Panathenea.

Apollo is turned into a flat-out rapist who's only concerned with getting Persephone at all costs and when that doesn't work, he tries to get ANOTHER flower nymph (Daphne) who's actually genuinely interested in him (contrary to the original myth, there's that "swap it subversion" Rachel is known for) to cut her hair so she'll resemble Persephone more because we can't have a single plot point not resolve around Persephone.

Despite there being loads of genderbent characters already, Morpheus is supposedly the only one we're supposed to assume is specifically trans and not just a gender-flipped version of a Greek myth character. Why? Not because Rachel stated so explicitly, not because the comic has actually explored her identity as a trans woman, but because the readers just assumed it in good faith and Rachel was clearly fine with taking credit for trans representation that's only there via assumption (and only confirmed via her mods in Discord, which is... not how you establish canon information in your comic, Rachel.)

Hestia and Athena are part of a chastity club, until uh oh how convenient that they're secretly in a relationship with each other even though it further vilifies them and their morals, particularly Hestia who was promptly called out for being a hypocrite for taking Persephone's coat gifted to her from Hades while secretly being in a relationship the whole time. Not only does the Hestia and Athena relationship manage to commit queer erasure - of two gods who are considered icons in the aroace communities - but it also makes the only two lesbians in the story come across as assholes AND ON TOP OF THAT ALSO manages to somehow invalidate queer sex and relationships as being legitimate due to the even deeper implication that breaking their chastity vows "doesn't count" because it's not a male x female relationship. It's the 'ole poophole loophole all over again.

And then there's Artemis, who has MORE REASON THAN EVER TO BE IN THE PLOT but keeps being conveniently ignored. Her finding out about Hestia and Athena doesn't get any more screentime than her going "oh you're in a relationship, okay" , we never see her question the true intentions of TGOEM or what it means to her, we never see her have any opportunity to carve out her identity beyond just being Apollo's twin sister (it tries to at times, but then immediately goes nowhere with it, amounting to just poetic word salad), and she really just comes across as what a lot of people assume aroace people to be - alone and standoffish, because obviously someone who's nice and a good person would be in a relationship, there has to be a reason they don't want to have sex or fall in love, and that reason obviously has to be that they just hate everyone and want to be alone forever (￢_￢;) Then again, like many of the queer characters in LO, I don't know if I can definitively call her aroace because it's kept as vague as possible, and - going by Rachel's answers to these questions way back in her Tumblr era - apparently people can't be gay and ace at the same time-

There are undoubtedly loads more examples that I could cover here but that goes for practically any essay I write about LO - the more you peel it apart, the more you start unearthing some really questionable and frankly mean-spirited stuff. Queer people feel largely ignored in LO, alongside many of its derivative offspring such as A Touch of Darkness and Crown of Starlight, and it really speaks to how so many people - queer women, no less - have somehow managed to bastardize and sanitize what were traditionally very queer stories with queer characters. It's like these people think "olden times" and can only get as far as "women were slaves and men were rich assholes". Like, yeah, okay, that was the case for many cultures, but not all of them, and for some of them it wasn't as clear cut as that, many had misogynist power struggles in them while also still celebrating women and queer people in their own way. Greek myth is full of stories of women being forced into marriage or being made the victims of assault, but many of them are supportive of women and their struggles, unlike works like LO that somehow manage to be less feminist and sympathetic to women and queer people than these works from thousands of years ago.

This is another topic that's surely meant for another post, but it really speaks not only to the straightwashing and whitewashing of Greek myth, but also the Westernizing of it. That's not to say Rachel Smythe and Cait Corrain and Scarlett St. Claire are intentionally trying to whitewash another culture's works here, but if you're raised predominantly on Western media, you're undoubtedly going to absentmindedly adopt ideas about society that are primarily molded around Western beliefs .

And this is apparent in LO, while Rachel is from New Zealand, you can tell she grew up on a lot of Western media and its influences are sorely showing through LO's worldbuilding, character designs, and narrative choices. That "modern setting" that I mentioned before is much less Greek and a lot more adjacent to The Kardashians which lends to the theories that most of the media that Rachel consumes is American. Rather than actually going to the effort of doing her research on Greek culture, she seems to just prefer defaulting to the easiest assumption of how modern society is across the board - a generic Los Angeles clone with big glass skyscrapers and pavement walkways. She rarely ever draws food or clothing from those time periods; despite this story being about gods she's spent so little time on the people who passed on the stories about those gods, the mortals, and the gods themselves rarely feel like gods, rather just like Hollywood celebrities covered in body paint. The clothing feels very generic and uninspired with often very little Greek influence, even though Greek clothing is designed around Mediterranean living which you could do a lot with, to such an egregiously Western degree that Hades and Persephone's wedding was Christian-coded. The food... well, there ISN'T any because as we've seen, like the stereotypical American child, Persephone apparently only wants chicken nuggies and Skittles for dinner, so we never see her eat; and not only do we not see Persephone eat, but Rachel weirdly tries to use Persephone's vegetarianism as some kind of anti-capitalist characterization when much of the Greek diet is predominantly vegetarian. It's NOT HARD or uncommon to be a vegetarian in Greece!

(it looks like they're literally all eating the same thing so IDK what Hera is referring to here, it looks like they're all eating toast and lettuce LMAO)

All that's to say, much of LO - and the books like it that I've gone over here - are written with this idea that every culture - including the one that it's trying to adapt - was subject to the same ideas that Western culture lives by in the modern day - that being a vegetarian is "counterculture" in every culture, that the notion of sexual purity is enforced in the same way it's enforced in the Western education system (cough Christianity cough), that queer or otherwise "unconventional" relationships should stay inside the bedroom and not be seen. As much as Rachel claims she wants to "fight the patriarchy" and "deconstruct purity culture", all she winds up doing is reinforcing it through a Westernized lens, which is, as I've talked about before, very indicative of right-leaning white feminism and what it embraces and promotes - being a "good woman" who follows the rules and willingly becomes part of the system that's oppressing them because that's what "good women" do. Women who are confidant in their sexuality are evil and should be shunned for being "sluts". Women who are in relationships with other women "don't count" as real relationships the same way heteronormative relationships do, and cannot be trusted because they're likely trying to spread an agenda that's designed to brainwash heterocis women. Women should only aim to achieve marriage and their entire personality has to be built around their true love. Women are allowed to be kinky, but only as kinky as roleplaying the exact same gender structures that puts the man in a position to dominate a woman, and it should always and only ever be with her first love who she marries immediately, no one else.

This is exactly what the critics are getting at when they hold LO - and its creator - accountable for the messages it's been sending for five years to its audience of middle aged women and young girls. Having a demographic is fine, if this were just a comic for girls it would be fine, but it becomes a lot more problematic when that demographic is being fed toxic power fantasy stories based on a culture that's being gentrified and sanitized of all its original messaging and characterization right before our eyes. It feels blatantly misinformed from the very beginning in its intention to be a "feminist retelling" of Greek myth, because somehow Lore Olympus manages to be less feminist than these stories drafted and written by men from 2000+ years ago.

I opened this essay with a question: why do we keep getting these Greek myth adaptations written by queer women that still wind up perpetuating toxic heteronormative culture?

I think cases like these really highlight how deep the heteronormative brainwashing from childhood onward goes. That, despite these writers being queer or women, still manage to reinforce the same ideas and tropes and harmful predisposed notions that were designed to be used explicitly against queer people and women. These are things that we can't ever stop challenging, and asking, and truly deconstructing, because it runs deep in many of us who grew up on popular media even as innocent as Disney. Learning about more complex social concepts like sexism and misogyny and queerphobia doesn't automatically absolve us of those very same biases that have been both blatantly and subtly ingrained into us since childhood. All that said, Rachel being bisexual does not mean she's not capable of straightwashing; Cait Corrain being a queer debut author with a POC main character didn't stop them from targeting other POC debut authors at their own imprint; being part of any minority group or identifier does not automatically protect you from perpetuating the cycle that you, too, likely had enforced upon you at some point or another in your life. The fact that these creators and writers are still perpetuating that cycle to begin with is indicative of why it's a cycle at all - it takes work to break on a subconscious level because those cycles are specifically designed to target and hijack the subconscious.

At its worst, do you really think Lore Olympus can claim to be a feminist retelling that's "deconstructing purity culture" when the creator herself admittedly never fully identified or understood sexism until her mid-30's and has the audacity to say her audience is "harsh" on the female characters that she constantly vilifies through her own narrative?

"I feel like female characters in general, people will be a little harsher on them and sometimes way harsher on them, and I used to be like.. before I started writing the story and like making a story I was like yeah, sexism is not that bad, and [now] I was like oh it's bad. It's quite bad [laughs], so like, I don't know, I feel like the female characters in the story don't get so much of a pass. But this isn't consistent across the board, it's not all the time" - Rachel Smythe, in an interview with Girl Wonder Webtoon Podcast

If Lore Olympus truly was just a series meant to be for fun "no thoughts head empty" drama and spice, that would be fine. I've said it time and time before on this blog and I'll say it again: I wouldn't have an issue if Rachel was just writing a story exclusively revolving around heterocis men and women. I'm just frustrated and tired and annoyed that she keeps lying about it, and doubly so that this comic and its creator who claim to be "feminist" have inspired other people in the same headspace to continue to perpetuate that cycle through works that are clearly inspired by LO and never challenged the things LO promoted - violence towards "unconventional" women, violence towards POC, and erasure of queer people. And worst of all, for writers like Cait Corrain, it's more than just writing a really bad book with really bad messaging, it's going so far as intentionally targeting those same groups of people that are regularly vilified in works like LO - people who are just existing, who don't pose a threat to anyone, but had the misfortune of becoming the target of a white woman's insecurity.

I don't know what the answer to this problem is. I don't know what form the solution will come in, if any, to address the ongoing issues with Greek myth adaptions that are being sorely written through an "America as the default" point of view and praised for "rewriting the script of Greek mythology", quite literally cultural appropriation happening live right before our eyes all for the sake of cheap entertainment. Maybe it'll take the failings of works like Crown of Starlight to really get people talking about it. But so long as the roots of these works - such as Lore Olympus - are still being protected and marketed en masse by the same kinds of people who don't see the issue in Americanizing other cultures and their stories, then Lore Olympus and Crown of Starlight will not be the last ones to cause harm to the source material - and the cultures that source material is born from and a part of - they're taking from.

I opened this post with a question, and I'm going to close it with another to really leave it as food for thought. That question comes from another video that I'll link here for you to watch at your convenience that spends even more time diving into and discussing the nature of works like this that have seemingly attempted to "deconstruct" the very dogmas that they still wind up reinforcing all the same.

Does the romance genre have a white supremacy problem?

(yes. yes, it does.)

[beastofbrden]

four times james took care of you + one time he told you why | J.P

bf!james potter x clumsy!fem!reader

content: we gotta give the people the fluff the people need word count: 5000

content warning: mentions of unintentional self harm (nothing major), reader flushes, reader sits on james' lap, tickling, me projecting big time notes: we love james "acts of service" potter 😵‍💫

1.

Your eyes fluttered open at the crisp sound of the common room’s fire. Taking a few moments to get fully conscious, you noticed the scene around you: you were cocooned into James’ lap, your head resting against his neck. He was snoring softly while holding you tightly in an old armchair. You two had about five different pieces of homework due tomorrow, but after a long day, you had agreed to “rest a little” after dinner. By the looks of it, you two had rested much more than a little. Delicately moving James’ head, you looked around. Besides you and James, there were only a few students and Remus, who was entertained with a book near the tables. 

- Remus? - Your voice came out hoarsely - What time is it? 

- Good morning, sunshine - He giggled - It’s a little after nine, I think.

- Nine? Oh, shit… - You turned to wake James up, your heart suddenly racing with the amount of work you had to do in such little time. But when you looked at James, he was sleeping so peacefully into you, his thick lashes resting softly against his flushed cheeks, that adorable pout he made when he was deeply asleep. If you didn't have so much to do, you would never have the heart to wake him up.

- Baby? - You kissed his cheek delicately - Baby, wake up. We have work to do.

You brushed his hair out his face when he fussed.

- C’mon, Jamie, it’s already past nine…

- No - James pushed you into him and snuggled you further - Let’s stay here. 

- Jamie…

- Knock it off - Being the big baby he always was, he held you tightly so you couldn't move, the same way he did when you woke him up in the mornings.

Fighting against his strong arms, you were able to free yourself, even if he kept trying to hold on into whatever he could, in this case, your hand. Using all your strength, you started pushing him into Remus’ table.

- Stop being a baby and let’s just do it, alright?

He groaned loudly, but allowed you to drag him. You sat him down on a chair and he rubbed his eyes sleepily.

- We have a lot of things to do, and if we want to sleep tonight, we’ll have to hurry up, okay? 

- Aye aye, captain - James yawned.

- So, we have… - you checked a piece of parchment in which you had written down a to-do list before dinner - Five different subjects to do homework for.

- How have we built up that much homework? - James inquired, astonished. 

- Because you distract me

- I distract you? - James snickered -  More like the other way around!

- Oh, yeah? - You crossed your arms and raised a playful eyebrow at him -  How’s that so? 

- You know how… - James pulled you in for a kiss.

- My god, get a room - Remus grimaced from his seat.

- Alright, let me see - you bend down to your backpack, placed near the edge of the table. - Charms… - you started listing while placing your heavy books on the table and bending back down  - DADA… Herbology… Potions… Divination…

Remus snorted from his seat.

- What? - You asked, confused.

- Nothing… - Remus hid his amused smile behind his book.

- What was that about? - You asked James.

- Dunno. - He shrugged and stretched -  There’s no way I’m going to stay awake for all that unless I go wash my face or something. I’ll just go to the bathroom then we’ll get started, alright? Be right back.

- Don't you dare try to escape this, James Potter! - You warned him as he walked away.

- Never, baby - He teased, throwing you a kiss.

He disappeared into the bathroom, leaving you and Remus all alone. You started sorting out the books into piles in James’ absence, quickly realizing you had forgotten to get some parchment for the Charms essay. Reaching to your backpack, you ended up hitting your head on the sharp edge of the mahogany table.

- Ouch! - you exclaimed, quietly.

Once again, you heard Remus’ giggle on the other side of the table.

- What are you laughing about, uh? - You asked while applying pressure to the bang in a useless try to minimize the pain.

- Nothing. - Remus smiled and you gestured for him to keep on talking. He sighed and put his book down - It’s just… It’s just that you and James are too cute, that’s all.

- And that makes you laugh? 

- Yes, because I find it adorable.

- Can you elaborate, maybe? 

- Ah, you know… - Remus gestured dismissively, but quickly noticed your confused expression and smiled - You really don’t know, do you?

- Know what?

- When you were getting your books - Remus put his book down to explain - James kept his hand on the edge of the table so you wouldn’t hurt yourself. He always does that, almost subconsciously at this point. When he left, you bumped against it because you are unconsciously used to having his hand there to protect you. And I don’t know… that’s just really cute. 

Remus returned his attention to the book and left you alone with your thoughts. Did James really do that all the time? Just to make sure you wouldn’t get hurt, like you just did? You genuinely never noticed. You were flooded with a nice, warm feeling inside your chest, one that only James could bring you. Remus was right: it was cute. But… What if James does that because he finds you clumsy, graceless even? You wouldn’t want him to think you are that uncoordinated, so much so that he had to help you with it. You were clumsy, to be honest. Accidentally tripping, bumping against furniture, dropping your books, forgetting things… It was a daily occurrence for you, but you were used to it. You didn’t want James to think he had to worry about it.

Did he really do that?

- Oi - James’ return ripped you off your thoughts - Ready? We could start with DADA, maybe?

You had to see it yourself.

- Yes, perfect. Lemme just… get a quill.

James nodded and started opening his book. When you bent, you noticed James’ hand slipping towards the edge absentmindedly, almost like a second nature. When you straightened up, Remus’ smirk was visible.

2.

The fifth year’s Astronomy class was assembled in the tower for an exam, which consisted of staying up very late to watch the night sky and fill your charts with specific planets’ positions. You all had been extremely unlucky of having said test scheduled on an extremely cold night, so cold that not even the owls were flying out of the owlery.

- It should be a crime to get us out here on this temperature - Sirius complained while shivering violently. - Hey, if we die or something at least we’ll die knowing Venus’ position at 2 AM, am I right?

Everyone had come covered in multiple layers of clothing, including their heaviest cloaks, scarfs, gloves and hats, and even then, everyone was chilled to the bone. You weren’t so bothered by the cold, since you had James, the human stove, to keep you warm. The only part of your body that was positively freezing was your hands. Because of your usual distraction, you had forgotten to get gloves before leaving your dorm. If you told James, he’d probably give up his own gloves for you, but ever since Remus pointed out James’ habit of saving you from your own clumsiness, you were really trying to show James you were independent, or at the very least, hide your distracted nature and show him you can take care of yourself. Except that was never your speciality. One way or another, you had your mind set, so you’d have to settle with icy hands tonight.

- No one will be dying tonight, mr. Black - your teacher, Miss Vickers, replied to Sirius with a sardonic tone. 

James muffled a laugh.

- See, Pads? No one is dying. If it gets too bad, you can always get some dog fur, if you know what I mean.

- Right. Too bad some antlers won’t help at all.

James snuggled his chin between your neck and shoulder.

- Are you cold, lovie? 

- No, I’m fine, Jamie  - you whispered back, rubbing your cheek against his.

Forgetting about your new facade, you raised your hands to caress James’ curls. By doing so, he felt the extreme coldness of your hands.

- Y/N! Your hands are freezing! - James exclaimed worringly - Where are your gloves?

- In my pocket - you lied.

- And why are they in your pockets, and not your hands? - He mocked, lowering his head to stare at your side profile.

- Because I’m not cold - you lied, again, embarrassed.

- Right, cause ice lolly hands are super comfy - James snickered - C’mere.

With a swift but gentle movement, James made you face him. He pulled you into his arms, and used his glove clad hands to put yours inside his cloak’s pockets. You almost moaned in satisfaction when James took off his gloves and started rubbing your fingers with his warm palms

- You are really silly, you know that? - Your head, snuggled against his heartbeat, bobbed when his chest rumbled with a giggle. He rocked you both back and forth slightly while you enjoyed James’ warmth, his familiar scent, the comfortable sound of his heartbeat. 

- You should’ve told me you had forgotten your gloves. - He smiled down at you.

- You could just have given me yours, that would’ve worked…

- I like this better - James hummed, placing his chin on the top of your head.

3.

- It’s very simple, I swear. We just have to place the sweets on their table before dinner, and they’ll 100% eat it

Sirius was explaining to you and the Marauders the new prank he planned to pull on the Slytherins. This time around, he had made bonbons filled with a cream he had come up with. The cream was made out of Mandrake roots, something Sirius had discovered made anyone who ate it talk in a high-pitched voice for two days. 

- Don’t you think they’ll find it weird that no other table has them? - Remus pointed out.

- Look at those guys! - Sirius pointed to the Slytherin table - Do you think they notice what everyone else is doing? And even if they notice, they are so self-absorbed they will think it’s a prize for being better than everyone else or something… 

- Actually, that could work. - James chimed in while mindlessly rubbing circles around your leg - We can fake a note from Slughorn, and they’ll punch themselves to get the box.

You looked at your wrist watch while they discussed. Between the boys’ talk and James' caresses, you had lost track of time, and now you had five minutes to go all the way to the other side of the castle if you didn’t want to be late for Transfiguration. 

- Oh my God! James, we have to go! - You couldn’t be late to McGonagall’s class again: the last time you did, she scolded both you and James for, in her own words, “lovebirding around forgetting about your education”.- Bye guys, see you later. You bid the Marauders goodbye. On light speed, you gathered your books and started leaving, presuming that James would follow. You were midway to the Great Hall’s door when he called you out:.

- Wait! 

- Jamie, we’re late!

- I know, but there’s something I have to do.

When he finally reached you, he kneeled down.

- Baby, what are you doing? She will kill us both if we’re late again…

Your words trailed off when James put your feet on his lap and started lacing your shoes. Only then you noticed that you had been walking around with your shoelaces untied for God knows how long. You felt your cheeks getting warm. 

- Done. - James smiled up at you when he finished securing the knots. He got up and kissed your lips softly, one hand caressing your cheek, as always.

- I know how to tie my shoes, y’know. - you grumbled.

- Yeah. I just… wanted to do it for you.

- Thank you, Jamie.

- Of course. Can’t have my girl stumbling around, can I? Let’s go before Minnie kills us.

4.

- Are we going to Madam Puddifoot’s first?

You looked around Hogsmeade. You only had the chance to come here every once in a while, so everytime you and James’ class had a Hogsmeade weekend, you tried to make the most out of it. 

- I was thinking we save Madam Puddifoot’s for last. 

- Sounds perfect. So where do we go first?

- Could be… Honeydukes?

- Ugh, baby… - James groaned

- What?

- I’m a little tired of Honeydukes, to be honest.

- Why, not everyone gets to rob its basement every month, like you and the boys do! 

- I never rob it! I always put money in the register! - James threw his hands in the air defensively -  I even leave tips! 

- Aren’t you my little goody two-shoes. - You pinched his pink cheeks playfully.

- Plus, I always bring you sweets!

- Yeah, yeah, alright… But I like going there! It’s pretty, and it always smells amazing there. - You smiled sheepishly and batted your lashes at James’ - Can we please, please go?

James stared at your theatrical request with an amused smirk.

- Alright… let’s go.

James held your hand and started following the flow of students heading towards the shop through the snowy streets.

- Thank you so much!  - You kissed his cheek soundly.

- You are the most spoiled girl in Hogwarts, did you know that? - He elbowed your rib playfully.

- And who’s fault is that? - You giggled at him. 

At Honeyduke’s, you and James made the rounds collecting all your personal favorites: liquorice wands, sugar quills, chocolate toads, and an obscene amount of cauldron cakes. When you both couldn’t find anything else in your baskets, you joined the line to pay. 

- Feels weird to not get the sweets and just run? - You teased.

- You never complain when I bring you a dozen caldron cakes each time, do you? - James rolled his eyes at you while smiling.

- Hi, James! 

You turned around to find Amos Diggory, captain of the Hufflepuff’s Quidditch team, standing behind you two. Despite James' competitiveness in the field, he always got along very well with Amos.

- Oh, hi, Amos! How are you? - James shook his hand amicably.

- I’m doing well. Taking Mrs Potter shopping, I see? 

- Yeah - James smiled brightly while your face burned in a violent blush violent

Every time McGonagall scolded you and James for being late, she graced you both with a nickname. Last week, she referred to the pair of you as “Mr and Mrs Potter”. Sirius instantly adopted the nickname, especially to tease James about being whipped. Somehow, other people heard of it and your friends started using it in a light-hearted manner. James found it all extremely funny, and even though it always made you shy, you secretly loved it.

- You know what they say, the way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach.

They both chatted about the upcoming matches until you reached the register.

- That will be four galleons - Mrs Flume announced after checking your baskets. 

James reached for his pocket, but you touched his hand to stop him.

- I will pay, today.

- And why should I let you do that?

- Cause I want to spoil you, too - You booped his nose.

When you reached for the little purse where you kept your money, however, your smile fell. You had forgotten to grab your money due to your distraction.

- I, um… I think I forgot to grab my purse - you admitted, embarrassed to let your inattentiveness show once again.

James simply smiled, and handed Mrs Flume the golden coins. She busied herself with putting your purchases in a box.

- I’ll pay that back to you. 

- No, you won’t. I won’t take it.

- Yes, you will. I forgot, but I want to pay for it.

- Except you won’t, cause I want to pay this for you.

- You always pay for everything!

- And since when is that bad?

- Cause I wanna give you things, too! 

- Trust me, you give me plenty - he smiled suggestively at you, earning a slap in his arm.

- James! You called me spoiled an hour ago!

- And you are.- He smirked - But I like spoiling you.

Exasperated, you threw your hands up in defeat.

- Ugh! 

James grazed your cheek with his hand soothingly. 

- C’mon,  if I can’t use my money to spoil little Mrs. Potter, what am I supposed to do with it?

+ 1

You and James were near the lake, laying down under an orange tree, studying for exams. It was a sunny afternoon in which you both wanted nothing but to throw your books in your trunks and go do something outside. Since you really needed the study time, you two had to find a middle ground: studying in the garden, where you could at least enjoy the sweet summer breeze and the sunlight. You had been deeply concentrated in your books when a delicious whiff of the plump, sugary oranges above you had invaded your nostrils, making your mouth water. You were able to grab one from a lower branch, and now you were anxiously trying to peel it with a small knife. 

- Hey, pretty girl - You were distracted from your task by James’ lips grazing the warm skin of your cheek - Want me to do that for you?

- Thank you, Jamie, but I can do it  - You snickered at him, even if you never actually learned how to properly do it, and he knew that - I got it.

- Can I do it for you, please? - He smiled. You gave in, and gently removed the orange and the knife from your hands

You watched as he skillfully peeled the skin off the fruit. In no time he got the orange separated in two halves, handing you one happily. James leaned against the body of the tree, pushing you to sit back between his legs and lean into his chest. You both sat there, contently eating the sweet but slightly acidic fruit. 

James does a lot of things for you. Way too many, perhaps. He didn’t let you peel an orange, for Christ’s sake! Does it bother him, feeling like he has to do things for you so you won’t mess it up? 

- I know how to peel an orange. - You turned to face him - I really do.

- I know, doll. 

- I can do it. Seriously.

James thought to himself for a moment.

- Have you ever heard the theory that a perfect couple is composed of one person who loves oranges, but sucks at peeling them, and another person who loves oranges, and  is great at peeling?

- I know how to peel fruit!  - You stated. 

- Of course you do. You just suck at it. - He smirked at you, amusedly throwing another piece in his mouth.

You let out a sigh in frustration. Nervously, you turned to face him completely. 

- James, listen… I don’t want… I don’t want you to think I’m useless.

James’ smile fell off his face.

- What? What are you talking about, sweetheart? - he worriedly reached for your hands - Why would I think you’re useless?

- Because… - You run your hands through your hair - Because you are always doing things for me. Tying my shoelaces, warming my hands because I’m an idiot and I forget my gloves, things like that and I just… I appreciate it but I don’t want you to do these things because you think I’m incapable.

You could see the engines turning in James’ head as he pondered. All of a sudden, he started laughing.

- You think I do that because I think you are incapable?

- Well, yes! - You lowered your head - I know I’m kinda distracted but I don’t want to be a burden or anything…

- Hey. - James used his index finger to lift your head, forcing you to look into his incisive, but soft gaze - You are never a burden. And that’s not why I do it, at all. I do these things because it’s my way of showing you I care for you. But I understand if it makes you feel lessened, and not loved, and I can find new ways to care for you, if that’s wh…

- No! - You exclaimed, stroking his cheek - I love it. And it does make me feel very loved. I’m just… silly. I guess I don’t want you to feel obliged to do things for me, that’s all.

- Baby. - James smiled and held your face between his warm, orange-scented palms. -  When I tie your shoelaces, I know you can do it, obviously. But it makes me feel happy that I even get to do that for you, you understand? And it’s like that with everything else I do. I love taking care of you because I love you. 

Your heart warmed at his words.

- So you don’t think I’m clumsy?

- Actually, I do - he smirked.

You slapped his arm and turned away from him.

- I’m sorry, I'm sorry - he reached for you again - You are… distracted. Almost as much as you are distracting. But I like it. Makes me feel like a knight in shining armor.

- I’m not distracted! - You narrowed your eyes at him. 

- You are, doll - He soothed you amusingly - A little teeny bit. 

- Oh, yeah? I would’ve peeled us this orange myself if you weren’t so… nosy!

James gasped in a dramatic manner.

- I’m nosy? - You shook your head yes in defiance  - Yeah? Are you sure? 

James threw himself at you to attack your sides with tickles, the most powerful weapon he has against you. You both rolled around in the blanket you had brought from your dorm while you laughed so hysterically you couldn’t breathe. James couldn’t help but laugh too, infected by your laughter. 

- Stop! Stop! - you begged, tears rolling down your face.

- Only if you say I’m not nosy.

- You are not  nosy! - You shouted, and James finally stopped the tickling.

You were laying underneath him, and when the laughter died down, James stayed on top of you, watching your flushed face with loving eyes. A sweet summer breeze passed you both, making your hair fly. He carefully placed the rebel strand behind your ear.

- Great. Now, say: “I love you, Jamie, my beautiful amazing perfect boyfriend and thank you for peeling every orange I’ll ever eat for the rest of my life”

- I’m not going to say that after you just attacked me! No way!  - You laughed.

- Yeah? Then get ready for another tickling attack!

When he placed his hands back on your sides to resume the torture, you panicked.

- No! No! Fine! I love you, Jamie, my beautiful amazing perfect boyfriend and thank you for peeling every orange I'll ever eat for the rest of my life! 

- Perfect - he kissed your lips delicately.

- That’s a lot of oranges, you know.

- What?

- Every orange I’ll eat for the rest of my life - You grinned, lifting your hands to trace his features with your finger - That’s a lot of oranges.

- I know - He gave you that full teeth smile, the one that made his dimples pop before kissing your palm - You love oranges.

- I do. 

- At least you will never have to risk chopping your fingers off, since your amazing boyfriend will take care of it. - He explained playfully. - You can be clumsy safely.

You pouted at him angrily and crossed your arms. 

- You don’t scare anyone with that face, missy - He snickered and lowered his head to kiss you again. - You are too adorable when you are angry.

James hummed happily against your mouth when the kiss deepened. He rolled you both around so you could straddle him.

- You taste so sweet - He breathed against your mouth.

- Like oranges, maybe?

- Yes, precisely.

- Like the ones you peel for me because I’m distracted? - You sneered softly.

- Yes, just like the ones I peel for you because I love you.

[httpisaoki]

gf! karina x workaholic! reader

-> drabble pt. 2 because miss ko na sya (gf! jimin ackk), not proofread!!

wc is 834 words

kinda inspired by die for you bcs i was listening to it while writing this !!

fluff fluff (a bit of crying) fluff (took a break from all the angst hshdufjh)

in all of your years together, jimin never failed to show her how much she cared for you. jimin would be the best gf ever !! and once she realizes how much of an overachiever you are, she makes it her mission to take care of you !!

under all the stress, your emotions often made you overthink, there were times where you needed her reassurance, her words to assure you that she loved you, even her acts made you wonder. but of course, karina being the loving girlfriend she is, never hesitates in showing her love for you.

and when she got a text from you to come over, she dropped everything to just see you (literally). she was too worried for you to care about the questions of her co-workers.

her nerves were wrecking on the way, and once she reached your shared apartment, she ran as fast as she could.

she opened the door to your apartment, seeing you covered up tightly with a blanket on the couch.

as jimin looked at you, she couldn't help but to grin as she made her way over to you. she sighed softly, "I should have told you to get more sleep." a smile making it's face onto her face as she looks at your stirring figure.

"I should have been with you." jimin mumbled, her grip on you tightening as she buried her face onto your chest.

"How long did you study?" she whispered. Her brows furrowed in worry as she looked at the desk where the books where scattered along with the unfinished essay.

"after my shift at the book store." you sleepily answered, trying to fight the sleepiness.

"You've been overworking yourself again." she pouted. "Did you eat dinner?" she asked, trying to shift the focus onto another topic but you could hear the genuine concern in her voice.

you shook your head, "I fell asleep a few minutes after I texted."

jimin let out a soft, frustrated sound. "Why do you have to push yourself so hard?" she murmured, her tone softening into one of concern. "You could've asked me to come over after work, I would've happily cooked you dinner instead of coming over so late."

you sighed, "I knew you were busy in the afternoon, I didn't want to be a bother,"

"You'll never be a bother to me." jimin murmured, her grip tightening as she pressed her face onto you again. "and I missed you." she pouted once more. "I don't care what I need to put on hold to be with you, you're my priority."

"I want to make you meals." jimin whispered, her thumb tracing the curve of your jaw. "I want to hold you when you feel like you're about to break." she leaned closer to you, her breath warm against your neck.

"I want to love you. I want to love you through every happy or hard moment you're experiencing." she breathed.

her hands stopped moving through your hair as her gaze fell with concern. "I can't stand to see you like this." her voice was soft, but you could hear the pain behind her words. "You are so hard on yourself, and it hurts me." she frowned, her eyes glistening as they welled up with tears.

"Please," she begged, her hand going to the back of your head and pressing it against her chest "Let me take your worries away."

jimin felt your head press against her chest as she felt your warmth spread through her.

she let out a content breath as she pulled you closer to her, wanting nothing more than to hold you and to comfort you.

"I just want you to be okay…" her voice was shaky, as her eyes began to well up with tears.

"I don't know what I'll do if anything bad ever happened to you." she sniffled. "You're too precious to me…"

Jimin closed her eyes at the feeling of your head against her chest. She slowly breathed in your scent, taking in the scent of everything that made you, you.

she held you close to her. She didn't like seeing you like this, she didn't like you overworking yourself to the point where you look more lifeless than a walking corpse.

"Let me love you." she whispered, her voice breaking as a tear trickled down her cheeks. "Let me love you… let me take away all the stress."

jimin felt you relax with every passing second, as she ran her hands through your hair. her body was pressed to yours as she felt your warmth and your breath against her body.

"Let me love you…" she murmured, as she leaned forward, her lips pressing against your forehead. Her breath was warm as she kissed your forehead, leaving a soft trail of kisses down to your jaw.

karina never failed to love you, to show how much you mean to her, how you were always her priority, how she would be willing to die for you.

[copperbadge]

hi, i had a medium to big question. in your post about the adhd self-help book you mentioned people with adhd being conditioned to be nonconfrontational, but i've never once in my entire life connected the two? can you break down the connection for me so that i can once again (this week, even) have my understanding of my own condition blown wide open?

So, you are not the only person to ask about this, but that's on me for being unclear -- I wasn't trying to assert that kids with ADHD are automatically conditioned to be nonconfrontational, I was more trying to be like "Hey not everyone needs lessons in medical self-advocacy but a lot of nonconfrontational people do." And I think there is a higher population of people with neurodivergence who are deeply confrontation-averse, but I don't have like, numbers for that, it's just an assumption based on other knowledge.

It gets complicated; ADHD is a disease based heavily in acting impulsively against your best interests. But yeah I do think people with ADHD are often conditioned to avoid confrontation because of two main factors: rejection-sensitive dysphoria and executive dysfunction.

RSD, which I hate perhaps more than any other symptom or behavior associated with ADHD, automatically kicks our nervous system into high gear in social situations and encodes embarrassing moments in our memory with high-def clarity. Because RSD naturally causes a level of anxiety around socialization, it tends to make us nonconfrontational simply because a) we don't want to be yelled at, b) we don't want to embarrass ourselves by getting emotional about something that may not warrant it, and c) by the time we realize what's happening our body is already on high alert which means we are likely to go into fight-flight-freeze mode.

Me, I freeze, usually, but none of those three options are great for fast thinking during an argument. I used to lose arguments a lot simply because I couldn't think or react as fast as the neurotypical person I was fighting with, so I simply stopped having fights. Notably, I did not have this problem when fighting with my brother, who is also neurodivergent and has many of the same freeze reactions I do.

If people disagree with me, even when I know I'm right I also know I probably won't be able to vocalize it properly, so I back down. Usually it's trivial so it doesn't matter, and I've gotten strategic about how and when I argue about things that do matter; it's also a lot easier to do with strangers or professionals (like doctors) where I don't have to worry about long-term social repercussions. But yeah, our own nervous system tells us "hey maybe don't pick this fight" about every single fight and if we do pick that fight, it treats our opponent as a dangerous predator.

Executive dysfunction's interaction with nonconfrontation is something I have less problem with because while I do have poor executive function, I've spent a lot of time and energy training myself to cover the Important Stuff. I have mild ADHD so I'm capable of this; I'm not trying to say everyone with ADHD is, because lord knows it's exhausting for me and I've been doing it for roughly thirty years. But essentially, I cover where it counts: if someone needs me to do something I do it, I meet deadlines, I pay bills.

So with that disclaimer in place, a very common issue especially for children with undiagnosed ADHD is that they'll be told or asked to do something and simply be unable to begin or complete it, then when they're asked why they didn't do it they can't explain. Even if they try to explain that they simply couldn't, like they were incapable of doing it for reasons they don't understand, that usually doesn't hold water with a lot of parents and teachers.

"I couldn't bring myself to write this essay," is actually something I told myself a few times in college, but it's not something I'd bother trying to tell someone else, because if you think you're neurotypical that sounds very insane. So I'd lie and say I forgot, or I'd take the fail, or I'd simply drop out of the class. Crucially I would not fight with the authority figure who was questioning me about it, because I knew I wouldn't be able to explain myself, and I'd just end up getting in more trouble for longer.

Our culture is structured for neurotypicals, and it's not even structured for all neurotypicals. Behavior that deviates from Approved Neurotypical even when you think you are Approved Neurotypical is highly punishable. So if your options are passivity, even when passivity leads to pain, or confrontation, most people who aren't Approved Neurotypical will opt for passivity once they've had a taste of where confrontation leads. I know I do.

And the thing is, there's nothing actually wrong with that. It's a strategy calculated to minimize pain. Even when I'm firing on all cylinders on a fresh dose of Adderall, I still generally let fights go unless there will be actual real consequences, because it's just not worth it. But knowing we have ADHD and knowing we fall into this pattern, I think it is good to be aware that sometimes letting a fight go is really going to fuck you, and at that point even being bad at it is better than not engaging.

I'm pretty good at calculating those, but it's a lifelong process, knowing which hills to die on when you assume you will automatically die if you ever get above sea level.

[cinnamontoastcrunch-15]

Today's @wolfstarmicrofic prompt is unrequited!

(936 words.)

"Oh, just fuck right off!" Sirius snaps, grip tightening on his butterbeer.

"God, what's gotten into you?" Marlene asks, arching an eyebrow. To be perfectly honest, Sirius doesn't want to talk about it.

James is more than happy to, though.

"Don't worry about him. He's all pissy because of his unrequited love." Sirius' head immediately snaps up, alarmed.

"Prongs," He says, warning. His eyes almost involuntarily dart to Remus for half a second, panic seeping through him. James, however, is teetering on the line between tipsy and drunk, completely missing the hint.

"Mm, completely hung up on some girl, right?" Peter chimes in, and Sirius almost wants to laugh. The urge to drop dead is much stronger, though. To crawl into a hole and say there until this conversation ends.

"Something like that," Sirius says quickly, before turning away from them both. Fingers crossed, he can just shut this down. "Hey, Lily, that potions essay..."

Unfortunately for him, Lily seems just as invested.

"How do you know it's unrequited?" She asks curiously. Remus lifts his head, then, nose out of his book. For some reason, that's what tips him over the edge. He needs everyone to stop. This is difficult enough.

"Because I asked, okay?" He says hurriedly. It causes his friends to lapse into silence, but it's like he's just burst a dam. The explanation starts before he can hold it back. "I asked, and they said no. They said it was a bad idea, we were too close for that."

"Huh," Mary hums.

"What?" Sirius asks with a frown.

"They didn't say they don't like you?" Mary asks, and it really throws Sirius. He hasn't considered that.

"No, not exactly," He muses, frowning. "But why would anyone reject someone they like?"

"Maybe they were scared of ruining the friendship you two have," Remus speaks up gently, almost inaudibly from across the common room; capturing Sirius' attention in less than a second.

"That makes no sense," Sirius says without missing a beat, eyes locking with Remus. "They should know me well enough to know that I wouldn't let that happen. I know they wouldn't. We've survived worse."

From the corner of his eye, he can see confusion flit across James' face at that comment. Yeah, it was a bit of a risky thing to say. He's practically handing James the truth. It doesn't matter, though. Not right now. His eyes are fixed on Remus.

"Depends on what you think is worse. They might be worried about a messy breakup getting in the way."

"No, that can't be it," He says, imploring. The longing to see into Remus' mind, figure out what he means is too strong. He'll have to unravel it this way instead. "If they're already thinking about a breakup, then clearly they don't like me that much. Unrequited." He wants nothing more than to drop the matter now that he's proven his point to himself. Maybe he doesn't need to see inside Remus' mind. He goes to down the rest of his drink, but Remus is shaking his head, and Sirius is losing sight of everyone else in favour of Remus.

"Or they just care too much about you." There's something in Remus' eyes, an ache that Sirius wants to heal.

"Really? Why would they reject me when I told them how I feel, then?!" Sirius asks desperately. It seems to snap Remus' resolve, burst his ambigious speech.

"Because I'm in love with you, Sirius! Okay?! Christ, this isn't just some- some joke, or some experiment to me! You looked me in the eye and told me you liked me, and that- that made me hope, okay? I don't want to hope. To think that you liking me means you'll fall in love with me. I mean," He releases a breathy laugh, seemingly unaware to the way Sirius' world is turning on it's axis, "I'm me, and you're- you're perfect."

He seems to have reached the end of his tangent, pattering out as everyone looks between the two of them, stunned. Sirius searches his brain, which may or may not be short circuiting, for some way to voice his thoughts. There are so many things he could say, so many ways to tell Remus everything, but none of them seem to be enough. Enough to encompass everything. A better solution comes to him as his yearning overwhelms him.

With that, he sets his butterbeer down and crosses the common room. Remus' eyes widen, suddenly unsure, until Sirius pulls himself into Remus' armchair, facing him. He reaches out, pressing a hand against Remus' cheek and finally, finally connecting their lips. It's everything he could have imagined and more.

Remus' lips are soft, warm against his, overwhelmingly perfect, and making Sirius desperate to stay there forever, mapping out every inch of Remus' mouth, the way it fits against his like they should have been doing this forever. It's a feeling Sirius knows he's never going to forget, causing the words he has been desperately repressing for years bubbling up inside him.

"I love you," Sirius murmurs against Remus' lips after a moment. "I love you so much, Moony."

Their eyes meet again, Sirius watching as Remus' eyes go from searching to joyful, a grin splitting across his face. It took a whooping cheer from James to break the spell that Remus' eyes got him in. They both turn to their friends, a laugh escaping Sirius as he drops his head into Remus' shoulder.

"Thank fuck that's sorted, then!" Lily says brightly, a wry smile on her face.

Okay, Sirius is really grateful for his oversharing friends.

[the-orion-scribe]

Why are we hating on Ford while defending Mabel?

Reposting from my Reddit version. A quick Ford defence essay.

It's about this meme post (on r/GravityFalls) I've seen defending Mabel lately. It has since been deleted (turns out it's a repost), but the comments still remains. Something mind-boggling to me is that while the comments are in defence of Mabel, some went on hard on Ford instead.

I know the GF fandom as a whole is beyond the Mabel hate already. And I understand all the passion behind defending her and so on. But... Instead the tide has turned to hate Ford instead. To blame him for starting Weirdmageddon. Shoving many accusations on Mabel towards Ford.

Yes, we all know Ford is a flawed character. He has his own hubris and everything, but like, people are demonising him like how haters demonised Mabel. Ok, perhaps at the most to blame is him summoning Bill in the first place. But don't y'all also see the manipulation tactics Bill employed on Ford, especially in The Book of Bill? Sure, Ford was naive, and thought the portal would open the door to the answers he needed. But he was also trusting what he believed to be a friend. How would he know the worst that could really happen?

And then people raised how it was Ford's fault that he told Dipper not to reveal to Mabel about the Rift. In his defence, Ford is also protecting the others, as he said so himself in Journal 3. If more people knows about the rift, the more Bill could target. And hence Ford resolved to shoulder the burden himself, and later Dipper, whom he could trust.

Ofc, does this mean he doesn't trust Mabel? No! It's just that he wasn't sure she could also share this burden. We have to remember that Ford has initial great impressions of Mabel. People forget that Mabel was actually the first twin Ford interacted with, and it was largely positive. When Mabel stated Ford's six-fingered handshake was one finger friendlier than normal, he laughed and said he liked her. Given how much he was shunned by many others for his extra fingers, it probably warmed him to hear someone saying something positive about his anomaly.

Nevertheless, as Ford notices Dipper's abilities in Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons, he began to view Dipper as one who could carry on his baton of paranormal hunting. That said, he has also entrusted Mabel with the unicorn mission in The Last Mabelcorn. Ford certainly favored Dipper a little more, seeing much of himself in his grandnephew, and overlooked the close knitted bond between the twins, but he certainly sees Mabel's strengths and shortcomings. Especially remarking on how sociable she is and so on. It's been elaborated a lot in my other essay on Ford and Mabel.

In the end, Ford at worst made a couple of mistakes, and maybe projected onto a 12 year old a bit too much, but considering what the guy has been through (even before Bill came along, like Filbrick's upbringing of the both of them), his actions were kind of understandable (even if they weren't exactly justified). Ford genuinely thought he was doing the right thing and cared about his family and friend even more than he admitted to himself. He didn't handle it as best as he should've but that doesn't mean he deserves to be hated or overcriticised by the fandom.

Ending off with these two wholesome pages from Thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com (type Ad Astra per Aspera). Thank you very much.

[braidlottie]

“mother” knows best.

pairing: stepmom!lottie x virgin!transmasc!reader

summary: after getting comforted by your stepmother, she thinks of a way to get rid of your stress.

tags: smut, nsfw, 18+ (minors dni), stepcest, age gap, reader is 19, lottie is in her 40s, comfort sex!!,, soft!mommy!lottie, sloppy kissing, virginity loss/first time, breast sucking, handjob, crying, corruption?,, charlotte is used instead of lottie, the niCKNAMES!,, if anyone is know irl sees this no you didn’t

wc: 1.2k

a/n: am i cooked?

unlocking the front door with your house keys, you finally step into your house, feeling so tired. it was only 8 pm and you were ready to crash. you were about to go upstairs when you heard a female voice that startled you. "ignoring me now, honey?" you didn't even notice your stepmother on the couch, reading a book.

"oh- sorry. i didn't see you sitting there." you apologized, and she just shook her head with a smile. "come sit down, honey," she patted the couch cushion next to her. "did your father let you use the car?"

you sat down and shook your head. "he told me he had to go to work early again. but i took the bus." charlotte gave you a look of disapproval, but you knew it was for your dad. "you know i don't like you taking the bus at night, let alone walking." even though she wasn't your birth mother, she still cared about you tremendously. "i'll talk to him later." she put her glasses on her head, taking a sip of her tea.

"you doing okay, sweetie? what's wrong?" a comforting hand wrapped around your waist. "rough day?"

you nodded, resting your head on her shoulder, trying not to doze off. "you know you can tell me. it's not good to keep what you're feeling bottled up inside." she patted your thigh, saying her second sentence a little quieter than the last.

"i was late to class because of the bus, and my professor gave us our essay grades, and mine was a 68, and i don't know why because i worked so hard on it and he won't even tell me what i did wrong. and i didn't have a chance to get any lunch because i had to study, and i'm so tired, mommy." your voice quivered at your last word, covering your teary eyes with the collar of your shirt.

"oh, honey..." she took her book out of her lap and put it on the coffee table, instantly taking you in your arms. "there you go. just cry, baby. let it all out for mommy." she rubbed your back, rocking you while you were hunched over her lap, crying into her lap.

you stopped after a few, wiping your eyes again with your t-shirt. you've never cried in front of your stepmother, but she made you feel so loved that you wanted to cry even more. she pulled your shirt off your face, wiping your eyes with her soft hands. they were cold as well, cooling down your face.

"you're such a hardworking boy, you know that?" charlotte brings you closer, running a hand over your hair. "and such a smart boy.. and a good boy." she gave you a kiss on the temple, shushing your faint whine. "i think you need to relax a bit, hmm?" her hand slowly shifted up your thigh, making you squirm.

she wiped what was left of your tears, and kissed you on the cheek, the corner of her lips touching yours. your heart jumped at the feeling, staring back at her big eyes.

she went in for another kiss, planting one directly on your lips. you couldn't help but break the kiss, trying to catch your breath from the sudden connection. "charlotte... we shouldn't." she could tell you were flustered but scared of getting caught. "this- this is kinda wrong, don't you think?"

"not to me, darling. i just wanted to cheer my boy up, mommy can't do that? can you let mommy help you?" her voice was like velvet, but you couldn't give in. "what about dad?"

"he won't know if we don't tell him, right?" she nodded and you followed her action innocently. “now, c’mon. you gonna give me another kiss?”

you hesitantly nodded before sitting up to peck her on the lips. when you pulled away, she snickered, taking her glasses off her head. “what? what did i do?” you panicked, thinking you did something wrong.

“that’s your kiss? really?” you shrugged and looked down, playing with the thread on your jeans. lottie realized that she upset you and immediately apologized. “oh- i didn’t mean it like that, sweetie. have you ever kissed someone before?”

you looked up at her, shaking your head. it was silent for a second before she spoke again. “..have you ever had sex?” she watched you shake your head again, feeling herself get covered in goosebumps.

“that’s perfectly fine, honey. you’re still young.” her smile grew bigger by the second at your answer. “just relax.” she whispered, hands rubbing up and down your tensed shoulders. she kissed you once more, smirking when she felt your lips melt against yours. “good boy...” her voice was deep but soothing as she chuckled softly, slipping her tongue into your mouth.

she guided your hand to her breast, giving you permission to fondle them. “you know you want to. shy boy.” she teased. you bit your lips, hand trembling as you pulled down the collar of her v-neck, watching her nipple pop out from the cloth. you look up at her, mouth agape.

“use your mouth, baby. c’mon,” she pushed your head closer, feeling your breath on her breast. you kissed the perked bud before swirling your tongue around it, getting a sharp exhale out of your stepmother. her hand rested on the back of your neck, knowing she had you wrapped around her finger.

her hand found the zipper of your jeans, managing to unbutton as well with her other hand on your head. you felt the cold air touch your thighs, squeezing your legs together with a faint whimper. “i don’t bite, pumpkin. open those sweet legs for mommy, hm?” she coaxed, tapping your thighs. she pushed your head back into her nipple, moaning as you latch back on.

you let charlotte tug your pants and boxers down to your ankles, the pads of her fingers swirling around the head of your t-dick. “there’s my boy. just feel good for mommy.” you gasped, letting go from her breast to moan, resting your head back against the couch. your squirms made her put an arm around your waist, feeling yourself get dizzier by the second.

“mama, mama,” you sob, the pressure in your stomach worsening. you try to repeat the phrase again, but only make out a slurred mumble. “shh, shh… oh baby… can’t even think of the right words to say to mommy. are you so close? i can tell you’re right on the edge for mama.”

her words sent a shiver up your snipe, body jerking forward as you came against her fingers. you left quiet the mess, squirting into your clothes, charlotte’s hand, and the edge of the couch.

“good boy. such a good little boy for mommy.” she pulled away from your tdick, holding you close as you came down from your first orgasm. “he’s gonna see the stain, mommy. on the couch.” you whined, scared that your father would find out about your night once he came home.

“shhh, baby. let mommy take care it, okay? c’mon, i’ll run you a bath and clean it up before he gets back. i promise, honey.” she took your jeans off your ankles, and pulled your boxers up, helping you off the couch. you nodded, knowing you could trust her with anything. “that’s my boy, mommy loves you so much.”

you could tell she really meant it, squeezing your hand tight before pulling you into a hug, giving you the affection you’ve always wanted and needed.

taglist: @t4tnat @jaywritessometimes @girltwinklater @kessellluvr @lotties-ashwagandha @shipmanisms

[elliesmainhoe]

PROFESSOR

Professor!Ellie X CollegeStudent!Reader

Summary: After Dina forced you to go to her new physics teachers public lecture, you start developing feelings for the professor.

Contents: LEGAL age gap (21 year old reader and 29 year old Ellie), fem!reader, reader is a blunt person and says what she thinks, pining, anxiety, panic attack, confessions, kisses.

Part 1 (you're here) - Part 2 - Part 3

Requested by @lonelyfooryouonly 🧡

My Masterlist

Dina had told you about her physics teacher. She complained constantly about the old man, who droned on and on about the same shit for hours on end, providing no new information of any substance to his students.

That's why on a random Friday afternoon, Dina rushed into the busy café you frequent and taking a be-line for your usual table.

"oh my god. Y/n." Dina practically yelled making several people turn around from there conversations glaring at the brunette. "This is the best day of my life~" she squealed ecstatically.

"Jesus Christ Dina, a little warning next time please?" As your heart pounded at the sudden appearance of the girl. "You spooked me" you laughed. "So what's up"

"Mr.Robinson retired!!!" She screeched, sitting down on the chair opposite you, laughing at your unamused expression.

"Fucking finally, I was so done of you complaining about that asshole" you muttered between sips of coffee.

" and our new physics teacher is having a weekly lecture starting this Saturday. And I was wondering if you would go tomorrow with me?" She continued deciding to ignore your comment.

"Why don't you go with Jesse? One, he's your boyfriend. Two, he takes physics as well."

"Can't I want to spend time with my best friend?"

"cmon, Dina, what's the deal?" You sigh helplessly.

"ugh fine" she moaned "I heard through the grape vine that the new professor is a woman, hot and a lesbian. And since I know you and your innocent, virgin ways, I was thinking you could... y'know?"

"Let me get this straight" you scoffed, rolling your eyes at the irony of the saying "you want to set me up with a rumoured lesbian, who's probably going to be double if not triple my age?" "Yes, yes I am" Dina smiled sweetly, laughing at the expression on your face.

"no I'm not going."

•••••••••• Saturday, 11th March.

You stood Infront of the closed door that lead into the lecture hall. In usual Dina fashion, she was late, and you were early. You had looked through the small glass pane and peered around the room, a few people were scattered around in the rows of seats. The new professor didn't seem to be in there yet .

If you were completely honest you didn't know why you were here and how your definitive no turned into a reluctant yes.

A flurry of brunette hair rushed towards you, "I'm so sorry, y/n, I got caught up" she panted, out of breath from running from across campus. "Yeah, I noticed." You said bluntly, your eyes following Dina's clumsy form as she swung open the lecture hall door.

She ushered you into the last row of seats, shushing you when you went to complain.

"Shhh, just get out your laptop and pretend your working." "Or I can actually work? I have an essay due on Monday." "Yes, whatever, do that then."

You got out your laptop, clad in stickers, including a few rainbow and lesbian flags, frogs, books, plants and band logos plastered all over it.

You opened up the word document named Analysing the use of language in 'a midsummer night's dream by William Shakespeare'. it currently stands at 2500 words, 500 words away from your goal. Before your hands fell into rhythm across the keyboard. The creak of the door sounded out around the room.

Instinctively you looked over at the door. A very attractive woman began walking down to the front, her hair was short and in a light shade of brown, her skin was sun kissed, freckles dotted along her facial features like constellations. There was a pair of glasses resting on her head, smoothing down some loose strands that fell free from her ponytail. She wore dress pants, and a knitted black and white striped sweater, with simple black doc martens boots.

As soon as she reached the front of the room, her voice sounded out, echoing around the room "Good Afternoon everyone, thank you for taking time out of your weekend to willingly chose to come to a physics lecture. This is the first public lecture I will be holding this semester, and depending on how it goes and how many people attend, I will continue it next semester also."

"Right let me answer some questions I know what your probably thinking. Yes, I know I'm young for a professor, and I'm 29 years old before you start speculating" she spoke with a lighthearted playful tone of voice, captivating you even more.

"My full name is Dr. Ellie Williams, but please just call me Ellie, Miss Williams makes me feel ancient. I have just achieved my PHD, but I've been doing guest lectures for a few years so I'm decently experienced."

She took a few questions, but you weren't paying attention to her words, she was beautiful. The way the sun filtered through the blinds and shadowing patterns in the golden sun that fell upon her freckled skin. Her voice was smooth and deep, soft and alluring, holy fuck Dina was right. She was hot, but was she a lesbian..?

A smothered giggle distracted you from your silent onlooking, you turned towards Dina, and rolled your eyes at the girl whose hand covered her mouth trying to stifle the laugh that involuntarily out of her lips.

"Shut up"

"you love me y/n~" she cooed sarcastically.

"unfortunately" you said under your breath, loud enough for Dina to hear, as a false expression of astonishment and offence fell on her face, making a laugh slip through your lips, much to your dismay.

•••••••••• Saturday, 18th March.

You and Dina walked towards the lecture hall, with a straggler in tow. "Does Jesse really have to come with us?" You whine in Dina's ear pathetically "I don't want to see you guys oogling at each other for two hours" you complain.

"Y'know, you could always sit a bit closer to the front, get a better view of Miss Williams." Jesse joked. "She said that she didn't like being called 'Miss Williams'.' Jesse scoffed "yeah of course you know that"

Deciding to ignore the comment, and walk ahead of the dawdling couple. You lived with them already and you didn't need to see them sending heart eyes to eachother any more than you had to. You finally reached the doors to the familiar lecture hall.

Stopping for Jesse and Dina to catch up to you before you rush into the room, nerves turning to excitement as you scurry into the room. Dina and Jesse filed into the back row again, holding hands and slipping in and out of lovey dovey giggles. No thank you.

Deciding to move closer and shuffling into a seat in the corner of the second row to the front. You brought out your sticker smothered laptop again and worked on a new assignment your English professor had assigned.

"Good Morning Everyone" Ellie chirped as she entered the hall, walking down the steps towards her desk. She wore a white muscle tee, a button-up over the top, left slightly open, she wore simply black pants and the same docmartens.

"Right. Okay... Let's get started everyone" compared to the week before, the amount of people who decided to attend the lecture had almost doubled. Ellie began talking, cracking jokes between facts and equations.

You continued to be mesmerized by her swift movements as she explained certain topics that came up on her pre planned PowerPoints. You didn't like physics, your mind simply couldn't wrap around the complex hypotheticals and various equations. But God did you find Ellie attractive. You didn't mind watching the woman's focused face and commanding voice, talk and explain problems and theories.

Shit.

••••••••••• Wednesday, 22 March

This is the worst day you've ever had the misfortune of experiencing.

First, you woke up on your period, after dosing yourself up on paracetamol and shoving a few tampons in your bag before leaving your's, Dina's and Jesse's, shared apartment.

Second, after ordering your usual latte from the coffee shop you regular, just off campus. The takeaway coffee cups, lid hadn't been put on properly and oops, your new pastel blue dress was now had a large coffee stain right down it.

Third, on your way to your first lecture of the day, it started raining, drenching your hair and soaking the newly spilt coffee into your dress further.

You felt the build up of emotions bubble in your stomach, the overstimulation making everything so so much worse. Quickly, to try and escape the pouring rain, you took shelter in an on-campus book shop. You hid in the corner of the room sitting on a lone couch, as you let the tears fall freely down your face.

Lips wobbling as you tried your hardest to keep the sobs at bay. Fuck. You hated your period. You hated stupid rain. You hated lukewarm coffee. You hated early morning lectures. You hate-

"Hey." A soft voice met your ears, "are you alright?".

You didn't look up, trying your hardest to calm yourself down and not humiliating yourself anymore than you already had.

"yes. M'fine." You muttered.

"It was more of rhetorical question... Can I sit down?..."

"Sure" you whispered, keeping your voice low so it didn't crack.

"You come to my public lectures, don't you?"

What.

The.

Fuck.

No no no no no no no no no no no no.

This can't happen, there is no fucking way that your stupid, stupid, crush is now talking to you while you have a mental breakdown.

Ellie was extremely worried, looking at your hunched over form, now gone rigid at her question. You were pretty, and Ellie's eyes couldn't resist drifting towards you, in your pretty dresses and knitted sweaters.

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." She whispered, when you didn't reply. "I'll leave you be"

"no."

Your hoarse voice replied before she could leave. "Oh okay... Bad day then?"

"you have no idea" you sniffed looking up at Ellie for the first time, through your wet eyelashes. She looked at the fresh coffee stain on your dress "I have a small idea" she laughed lightly.

She began to shed her coat, handing towards you. "Here take it... Should keep you warm until you dry off, and it'll cover the stain." She smiles at you.

You sit up straighter, wrapping the coat around your shoulders "thanks" you sniffed again, before wiping your nose on the sleeve of you jumper. "What's your name?" Ellie asks, looking at your tear stained face.

"Y/N..." You mumbled, her gaze hot on your face and you sink into yourself.

"That's a pretty name... What do you study?" You knew what she was trying to do, ask you questions to distract you from your tears, and it worked.

"I study English language"

"well, what are you reading right now?"

Shit shit shit. Right be discreet, tell her your gay discreetly. Jack Fucking Pot!!!!!

"Last night at the telegraph club..."

"oh cool... I'm uh- I'm uh reading 'one last stop" she replied a smile slipping into her face.'

"Nice." You say, an awkward grin gracing your features. "Uhm, it was really nice talking to you, I should give you your coat bac-"

"No. Keep it... You can give it back on Saturday."

"yes, yes...I'll- I'll do that." You get up reluctantly, but you did have a place to be... "Bye Ellie" "See you soon, Y/N."

••••••••• Saturday, 25th March

You were absolutely terrified. More terrified than you ever had been in your whole life. You wore a rainbow shirt, denim skirt and basic black converse, with Ellie's brown coat tucked under your arm as you walked on your own to the lecture hall.

Dina and Jesse were out on a date, leaving you to fend for yourself today. You were debating whether or not to actually go or to chicken out. But ultimately, you decided that you would feel too guilty if you didn't give it back on time as you promised.

So you tried to carry on like normal, entering the lecture hall five minutes early, slotting into the corner of the second row, taking out your personalized laptop and opening up the current assignment you had been working on.

A few minutes later a creak of a door followed by a 'Good Morning everyone.' as the older woman walked towards her desk briskly. She immediately began talking, taking questions and answering as best she could. It was incredible, how she talked with so much passion and understanding for her subject, the way she smiled when a student showed a similar amount of intrigue and fascination that she did.

Ellie was a great teacher. She was so lovely, talking to her students like they were humans, showing and explaining theories in different ways so there was more opportunities for those watching to understand. The way she acted, her kindness, her laugh, her humour, it made the uneasy feeling in your stomach increase every second.

Before you knew it, the two hours had been and went and people began to file out, talking and laughing with eachother. You stayed seated waiting until less people were around before you got up and scurried towards her desk.

"Here." You blurted out, handing the brunette her leather brown coat. "Thank you Y/N." She hummed in reply.

"uh no problem, I wasn't going to steal your jacket, that would be rude" you said, immediately thinking to yourself 'no fucking shit, that was an idiotic thing to say'

"so y/n. Why did you decide to come to my lecture? Physics is a big leap from English"

"my friend Dina takes your subject, she wanted to drag me along to kinda see what you were like before her first official class with you."

'A+ lie right there' you thought to yourself proudly. I mean you couldn't exactly say 'my friend has wanted me to hook up with someone for months now and she heard you were attractive and liked girls'.

"Dina... So I'm assuming it's you're last year in university then?",

"uh yeah. Two semesters left..." God. this was so awkward. Fuck your lack of ability to understand social cues.

You looked at Ellie's face, studying it and seeing a hesitant expression written on her face. "I was, uh, wondering how you were doing?... I mean I couldn't stop thinking about the other day and I just, wanted to make sure you were alright..."

"Oh... That's actually really nice of you. Uhm I'm doing okay, I got just very overwhelmed. It happens a lot but I mask I usually mask it better. I don't really know what came over me"

"no no no. I totally get it, I just y'know worry..." She gave a shy smile, her face slightly flushed, not really knowing what else to say.

"just know I'm always here to talk. I can give you my number? if you ever wanted to call me up and talk about things." "Yeah, yeah I'd really like that actually"

Ellie turned back to her desk, grabbing a pad of sticky notes, writing a string of numbers and doing a small doodle in the corner before giving it to you. "thanks, Ellie" you hummed, turning around quickly and scurrying out of the room, note in hand.

•••••••••• Sunday, 2nd April

You didn't call Ellie. You didn't text Ellie. You didn't even show up to her last lecture, despite Dina's pleading.

Confused. That's what you were, so fucking confused. You really, really liked Ellie. You'd only seen her a few times. She was sweet, kind, beautiful, hot and caring. But she was a professor, not your professor but still, she worked for the college you attended. And you were a student.

What in the forbidden romance trope is this? This isn't a romcon or a novel. If you started flirting with Ellie, or Ellie started flirting with you, she could get fired. Her whole livelihood down the drain just like that. Yes, it was legal. But, if it got out, people would view it suspiciously and rumours would start going around.

But you were overthinking. What if Ellie didn't even like you at all? Just gave you her number out of courtesy, feeling sorry for you after witnessing you cry.

Feelings are so useless. This is why you didn't do this type of stuff, you didn't date, didn't hook up with anyone, because it was easy, no emotional conflict, no feelings getting hurt. And now, you had been thrown into the deep end. Crushing on someone seemingly unattainable. Thanks Dina.

"y'know, if you stop sulking in bed and actually texted her, you'd feel a lot better." Speak of the devil.

"no it won't, it'll make me feel worse," you replied voice muffled by the pillow you had buried your face into.

"how would you know? You've never done this before. I, however, am a certified veteran at talking phases, and trust me y/n. I'm right"

"no"

"You text her right now. Or else you have to come with me to my physics lesson with me on Monday and you have to talk to her after."

••••••••••• Monday, 3rd April

Its 9am on a Monday morning and let's just say you are cursing the world... and Dina.

"Just remember y/n the longer you wait, the harder it'll be. Let's just get it out the way, yeah?" She chirped, linking arms with you, a reassuring smile on her face. "No..." You whined in reply as Dina ushered you out of the apartment.

"c'mon."

The walk was excruciating. Your mind was in another world as Dina joked and laughed with you, trying to take your mind off the looming anxiety that began to bubble in your chest. After fifteen minutes of walking on auto pilot, and almost walking into various obstacles (poles, trash cans, lamp posts etc), you finally arrived at the all too familiar lecture hall.

"Ready?"

"no"

"let's go".

Dina shuffled into the background, gesturing you to sit next to her, so you did, hands clasped together trying to swallow down the panic of your fast paced heart pounding in your chest.

"Hey, calm down..." You heard Dina whisper into your ear, as she grabbed your hand squeezing it, trying to comfort you. Breathing in deeply, you pulled out the book you were currently reading, trying to distract yourself.

"Good Morning everyone!" The familiar smooth voice of the woman you had been having a crisis over for weeks sounded out throughout the room as she entered. You're heart skipped a beat, your breath caught in your throat and became irregular.

"Shit. Dina, I-I don't think I can do this." You stammered, feeling tears well in your eyes.

"Okay, okay. C'mon, let's go." She rushed, eyes showing a guilty expression, as she closed her laptop, shoving into her bag and entwining hads with you as she guided you to the door. "

As soon as you left the stuffy hall, it felt as if the weight of the world lifted off of your shoulders.

"I'm so sorry y/n. I really didn't mean to push you, I shouldn't have. Gosh I'm so sorry." She rushed out.

"no, no don't apologize you were only trying to help. " You sighed as you took a seat on the floor outside the lecture hall.

"I need to go to the restroom. Are you sure you'll be okay for a sec?, we can leave once I get back"

"yeah, yeah, go ahead. I'll manage"

You closed your eyes, as you listened to Dina's footsteps become further and further away and tried to regulate your erratic breathing.

"Hey." No , not again.

Ellie shuffled sitting next to you on the ground. "You okay?" "No."

"right, yeah, obviously..."

"Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way... Just don't get the point in lying, y'know?"

"I get it, it's an admirable trait." The underlying compliment caused your cheeks to flush pink, under her gaze. You became more aware of your surroundings, the feeling of elies side pushed up against yours now becoming more prominent.

Deciding to look at your shoes instead of meeting Ellie's warm gaze, you foot began to tap, jittering irritably from the nerves that still hadn't left your body.

"Don't you have a lecture to go back to?" You ask, trying to nurse the conversation back to life.

"I do, but I have different priorities currently..."

"You should go back, what priorities are more important than your job?"

You could practically feel Ellie's smile, even though you weren't even looking at her... "This..." She mumbled, her hand brushing under your chin and guiding your face to hers.

Your lips connected slowly, you could taste her strawberry Chapstick mix with the cherry one you had applied on yourself earlier. You felt her lips twisted into a smile, her hand moved from your chin, across your jawline until finally reaching the back of your head, pushing you deeper into the kiss.

A cough erupted from behind you, making you and Ellie jump apart. Turning around quickly to face the culprit-

"Dina!-" you yelled at the girl, who stood leaning against the wall, a smug grin painted on her face.

"Told you so."

----------------

Part 2

Here it is. I actually really like this one, I feel like I could've written the ending better but oh well. The ending is slightly different to what was requested, but I started writing and it just kinda happened like that. But I hope you still like it 🧡

NOT PROOFREAD

[gold-snek-hoe]

Hello and welcome to Opinions from an Internet Nobody. Today's essay:

"Ger therapy" is the new "You need Jesus": One Weirdo's Navigation through Cultural Shame

This is a supposedly well-meaning sentiment that is often weaponized against people who are behaving outside of perceived cultural norms. It's a favorite of homophobes who see queerness/transness as a mental illness, but I've been seeing it used to demonize kink (which historically is often linked to queerness), and more generally any "weird" behavior that makes people uncomfortable.

For example, otherkin, systems (especially those with fictives), and people who take fictional characters as partners. Y'know, "weirdos" who "can't separate reality from fiction." And, sure, sometimes there can be a problem with that distinction, but I know as well as you that most internet strangers saying "get therapy" don't actually give a shit about the mental health of those they target. It's code for "your behavior makes me uncomfortable, stop it."

Same sentiment as "you need Jesus."

This has actually taken me a long time to figure out. I've been in therapy for my entire adult life, working through various traumas, severe depression, anxiety, all that. Those were the biggest problems as they negatively impacted, and often endangered, my life. It was only after my hospitalization in 2020, where I was finally put on much needed medication, that I could start to grow into myself.

I changed my name. I top surgery. I came out as polyamorous. I finally got my official autism diagnosis. Now I'm fuckin' married! But... there are still things I'm working through in therapy. Mainly, shame over my "weirder" behaviors. My current therapist has been a huge blessing in helping me accept the things I was too ashamed to admit.

Now, I feel comfortable enough to share.

I'm otherkin. Always have been. My connection to my humanity is tenuous, and I'm sure that's connected to my autism. When mad, I feel phantom horns sprouting from my forehead. I have a tail that swishes back and forth at the base of my spine. In my soul, I am monstrous, and years of therapy has not erased that.

I feel like I'm only half in the physical world most of the time. This doesn't hinder my real-world success (I graduated college Summa Cum Laude, have an IMDB page, and am on my third book), but informs the way I look at the world. There's a whole other universe in my head that hums along with me in my day-to-day. That's part of why I'm so skilled as a writer. To ask me to divorce from that is to tell me to stop existing. Sorry, it's how I've always operated.

Lastly, and this is the one I'm really anxious about, I have a fictional husband. Now, looking at my blog, you might say "yeah, no shit," but I don't just ship myself with him. I mean I practice pop-culture Witchcraft, and the Goblin King is my patron. I mean I have a Labyrinth-themed tarot deck that I talk to him with. I mean I held a ritual to spiritually marry him. Basically, I Snape-wived myself.

And guess what? My therapist isn't concerned. It's not hurting my ability to live my life. I have other interests, hobbies, and goals outside of him, which he actively encourages in all our tarot sessions! I wouldn't be doing this if he didn't support me. My IRL spouse is usually there for whatever magical shit I'm doing, and supports me! Some of my closest friends know, and the only complaint I've gotten is "this guy seems important to you, I wish you told me sooner." Hell, my MOTHER knows and supports me, which is huge, because our relationship was pretty damaged after I came out as trans.

If you have a problem with the way I live my life, when literally nobody else does, take a good long look at why. You don't give a fuck about my mental health. You just don't like that I'm weird.

Tl;dr: My mental health is better than it's ever been since embracing the weird, so leave me and my imaginary husband Marak Sixfinger alone.

[masonmyluv]

Part 5

A/N: a little bit of angst makes the story even more interesting 🫢

Warnings: angst, mentions of smut, Fermin being an asshole sorry 🥺

"So I thought we could use these books" you said. "Did you take the whole library?" He asked laughing. "That wouldn't have been fair for the others" you said. "And I already browsed trough them, so we just have to read some chapters" you explained. "We should start then" he said, sitting on the couch and you at the kitchen island. Two hours passed and you decided to order some take out and then continue with typing your essay. After gaining more energy, you went back to highlighting paragraphs while Fermin was doing the same. You couldn't help, but your mind wondered to that wet dream a few nights ago, when he pulled you into his lap and kissed you passionately. Those plump lips of his moulding with yours. His tongue fighting yours for dominance. His hands that were either on your back or your ass, squeezing you against him.

"Y/N"

Yours were pulling his hair as you wanted to feel more of him. "Fuck" you moaned when you pulled away for air, his lips instantly going to your neck.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Fermin asked, waving his hand in front of you. "Y-yeah" you blushed, being caught red-handed. You just had a fantasy about the guy you were in the room with. "I said we should include facts and examples" he said. "Okay, I agree" you said, trying to push away any thirst thoughts of him when you had to focus on the project.

— the next day —

"We just have to do the ppt and it's done" you said, finishing the last corrections to the essay. Then you went on your laptop to pick a theme for the PowerPoint, but all of them were shit. "So I thought we could use this if you like it" you said. "Or maybe this one?". "Whatever you want" he said kind of harshly. He realised his tone was cold and somehow annoyed when you didn't reply and just closed yourself from him. When he said he wanted to get rid of the crush, he didn't mean to be mean towards you. "Y/N, I'm sorry—". "I think we're both tired. We should stop here. I'll do the ppt" you said, packing your things. "I can do it —". "No, it's okay. See you tomorrow when we have to present" you said, quickly walking out of his house. Maybe you really were annoying when it came to projects.

— in class —

Everyone could sense something was wrong with the two of you. You even declined the coffee that was already waiting for you on the desk, probably from Fermin. "You nervous?" Fermin asked breaking the ice, but you were reading your notes on the project. "It will be alright I hope" he continued. The professor entered the room, so you could just ignore his presence while your colleagues presented their work. "So, today we are going to start with Mr. Lopez and Miss Y/L/N" he said and your face fell. Why were you the ones starting? "Because Mr. Lopez has training in an hour" he said as if reading your mind. Of course, the football princess is busy. You stood up and Fermin after you, going to the front of the class with your laptop. "It will be okay" Fermin whispered.

The presentation was flawless, except some parts where Fermin forgot what to say, but you saved his ass. The professor told you you'll find the grades later today and gave the class a short break. "That went amazing" Fermin said, following you out of the classroom. "Yeah sure" you mumbled. "You're not staying for the rest of the class?" Fermin asked, knowing you rarely missed any. "Mind your own fucking business" you said, going to the coffee shop to buy a coffee. "I bought you a coffee earlier—". "Why are you following me around, Fermin? Don't you have training?" You asked. "What's up with you?" He asked annoyed. "How dare you! You're being an asshole, not even telling me we have to present first" you said, taking your cup of coffee. "It doesn't matter anyway" he shrugged. "Maybe not for you, but for me yes. That's why we're a team, we tell each other things like that. But obviously, you thought I was a perfectionist and didn't even care to tell me about this tiny detail" you said, storming out of the coffee shop. "Well I'm sorry, but it doesn't matter—". "Maybe for you because guess what? You already have your future, but I don't. Everything I do for Uni counts. And I don't want a stupid spoiled footballer to ruin it" you snapped. "Alright. I don't even need your help anymore. You're a perfectionist and obsessed with your grades. All you do in study all day. Go have some fun" he said angrily. "Sorry for not blowing smoke up your ass, fucking idiot" you spat, turning the opposite direction and walking away from him.

———

When you got home, you threw yourself on the bed and thought about how you had the impression Fermin had a good opinion on you, unlike the rest of your colleagues who thought you were introverted and studied all day. You felt betrayed and used. Maybe he just wanted to do this project with you because he knew you would do the job in order to get a good grade. How stupid you were to believe he actually saw you differently.

———

"Joder, tio! What's up with you?" Gavi asked as he nutmegged Fermin for the third time today. "Did something happen today with that project?". "Yeah, I fucked up" Fermin replied. "Why? You didn't get a good grade?" Gavi asked. "No, we did. I fucked up with Y/N. Told each other some things" and Fermin told Gavi everything that happened earlier. "Joder! I told you she's a keeper" Gavi said. He was mad at his best friend. "I know, I just... don't know. I actually like that she studies a lot and doesn't to parties. And these weeks I found the other side of her, because when we were together, she wasn't that introverted. I liked her like that" he explained. "Joder! You're in love with her" Gavi said. "I'm not" Fermin argued. "Even if you were, I don't think she wants to see you ever again" he said. "Thanks Gavi. Really makes me feel less shit now" Fermin rolled his eyes. "What should I do?". "Let her cool down. And maybe then explain everything to her" Gavi suggested. "Explain what?". "That you like her, idiot" Gavi said, slapping his head. "And don't tell me you don't. She came to take care of you when you were sick. She has feelings for you too" Gavi said. "Since when are you Dr. Love?" Fermin teased. "Since when my best mate is completely blind and stupid" Gavi said.

Hope you like it ☺️

[tommock]

I DNF'd Mistorn: Here's Why

Disclaimer: You asked for this. Let me start there. Don't get mad at me, Mistborn lover. If you clicked on this link, and that means you are taking the dagger into your own hand. The wound is self-inflicted!

I did not finish Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson. I know, I know, its actually called The Final Empire. The name Mistborn has stuck with so many readers for a reason, so I'll continue to use it as a shorthand. The book didn't work for me, but I think WHY it didn't work for me might be interesting to read about, especially for fellow authors.

If you have read and enjoyed the Mistborn books, or any work by Brandon Sanderson, I'm delighted. I want to applaud any work of fiction that brings people joy (so long as it or its author is not reprehensible in some way (he said, covering his ass)). I don't want you to think this is me taking shots at you or at Sanderson. I'm just talking about a work of fiction and what it did to my brain.

Believe me when I tell you I have no delusions about being some high-handed minister of good taste. You should see some of the anime I watch to destress at the end of a long day trying to be a self-published author, editor, and, well, just an ordinary semi-functioning human being.

I've read many, many books and loved them, only to come back to them later and find they were … less deserving of my matured tastes. Sometimes books meet us at the right time. If Mistborn was, or is, one such book for you, I would be a jerk and a fool if I tried to tell you that you were wrong for liking it. That isn't what this is. But, if you're at all curious why I didn't like it the way you did, here are my thoughts.

Instead of trying to construct some long elaborate essay, I've decided to present my reading notes as I was writing them. If you're at all familiar with my SPFBO9 opening reads thread, this is in a similar, though much protracted style. This is my travelogue of the first few chapters. If these notes are rough or feel stilted in places, I'm sorry. I DNF'd the book a few months ago, and I found in trying to clean up my notes that I was making up commentary to fill in gaps and I don't think that's fair. I've tried to provide some context where I could.

Pages referenced are from the first mass market edition, published August 2007 by Tor

My Notes:

Starts well enough. Interesting introduction to the fantastic elements of the environment (the ash fall) and the enslavement of the skaa. Some neat 2nd world titles “obligator,” etc.

Not great, not riveting, but competent introduction of world and one protagonist, Kelsier. He doesn't know what to do with Vin, though. Disconnect between the characters as we're told they are and their actions. Lacking coherent motivation.

(P.5)The slave that stands and stares defiantly sending a chill through the lord so-and-so is a bit melodramatic. Both actions struck me as over the top.

(writing note)…too many “of courses”

The writing is competent and descriptive. The Mist at night is another interesting setting detail.

(p.6) I immediately dislike Kelsier. “I’ll have to cure them of that (fear of the mist) some day.” This is has an unsympathetic arrogance about it. If this is also the man who stared defiantly at lord-so-and-so, hes blasé about endangering these people, and seems to look down on them, much like lord-so-and-so. I suspect this impression is not intentional. I suspect I’m supposed to think him strong and clever. We’ll see.

(7) rolling his eyes at these people. This seems intentional. But it’s also annoying.

(10) beatings beatings beatings. These “peasants” and their daily beatings. Did I mention the beatings? Their lives are harsh! There are beatings!

(‘) what is this talk about Tepper “leading” the skaa? Leading them how? They’re slaves! What decisions are they making? No, really. What is this forced little conflict? It’s pointless.

(‘) “How do you do that?” “What?” “Smile all the time” - there’s no reason for him to ask this. It’s unmotivated dialogue. How do you smile all the time? How? No. Why, sure. “You keep smiling. Is something about our home funny to you?”

(19-20, ch.1) I’m having trouble with Sandersons storytelling. This is coming across as heavy handed and simplistic. Here’s Vin. She was betrayed. There are betrayals. This boy who came to get her who’s nice enough will also betray her. But the ash is free…

I wonder if we’re going to slowly work through the alphabet section by section. Ash, then beatings and betrayal… who knows what could be next? Crime? I bet it’s crime.

Also - Reen’s sayings and betrayal. I think in general I find it a bit affected when we meet a character and they’re immediately thinking of their backstory … but that’s probably not fair of me. I think what comes across as affected is Sandersons execution. There’s a very light fiction - YA quality about Vin’s angsty introduction. I might have loved it if I read it at 14, but not now.

I’d like to think of an example of what would be more appealing to me - the introduction of a character with similar enough circumstances… Actually, Gideon the 9th might be a good example. We get to hear Gideon’s voice in the prose and the dialogue and get a strong sense of her character as well as the specific and very interesting world building details of how she got into the 9th house. Here, Reen’s betrayal is left completely unexplored, and so I wonder why bring it up at all except for that cheap YA punch in the gut of “my brother betrayed me and now I’m here.”

Maybe Sanderson felt some necessity to move faster here. He wanted to get to the city theiving … but it isn’t working for me, so obviously I think it was a mistake. Obviously he was hoping this would create a sense of anticipation that we would eventually find out HOW Vin’s brother betrayed her, but because he leads with it and then doesn’t explain it, it makes it seem like it doesn’t really matter HOW Vin was betrayed, what’s important is that she was betrayed and now she doesn’t trust anyone. It’s just a bit weak.

THE HEAVY HANDEDNESS (People being mean to Vin - her hard life) (21) the slap in the face (23) Theron looking Vin up and down - “eyes lingered on her … running down the length of her body. … She was hardly enticing (didn’t even look 16); some men preferred such women, however.” (24) “what do you know?” “Enough” - Vin hurts her, expositional dialogue about her brother’s debt and selling her to a whorehouse.

(25) fearing Vin would disappear in a scene she doesn’t have much to do during, we get these unnecessary interjections of her watching the interaction, followed by the explanation of Camon thinking Vin is his good luck charm. This should have been presented earlier, because it just interrupts the dialogue here. But also, it feels inaccurate after Vin made such a useful critique of Camon’s servants. She seems much more useful in other ways than a luck charm, and comfortable offering her criticism without the slightest hesitation.

This chapter ends rather abruptly and without much Go to it. Vin uses her Luck and gets our stuffy official to consider her boss’s mundane business proposal.

The notion that Camon brings Vin along because he thinks of her as his luck charm feels really thin, especially on a job like this where everyone has to look the part. Which raises an important question: what was Vin doing there? I mean literally. Why didn’t Camon have SOMETHING for her to do. Camon didn’t dress her up in any part, she didn’t have any kind of cover story as his daughter or nurse or anything. Just some kid in the room dressed … who knows how while important official business is discussed. She just floats somewhere, doing nothing, as far as anyone is concerned.

VIN’S MOTIVATION Where is it? What does she get out of making this work for Camon if he has no idea what she’s doing? Why is she avoiding him if this is such an important job? Why is she helping him at all?

The pieces are there, but Sanderson doesn’t put them together.

Camon should know about Vin’s ability to “smooth things over” in some capacity. This would give him a serious reason for her being there on this crucial job. Vin should be motivated to help him because if this lucrative job works out, it will go a long way towards paying off her brother’s debt. Now suddenly there is a sense of urgency for her instead of just having a bad time owned by a “crew leader” getting slapped around. The scam itself isn’t enough. Frankly, it’s kind of boring at this point. It’s a slow moving beurocratic swindle.

(32) Kelsier. Sanderson is doing a good job introducing some thieves’ cant here as Dockson and Kelsier are planning their job, talking about how they need a “Smoker.” Someone is a good Tineye. The loss of a man to the Steel Ministry underscores the mortal risk these men are taking. But … there’s something about all this crime play that feels a bit cute, like Sanderson had only a passing, generic understanding of (fictional) gangs/criminal organizations. He’s spent his world building energy on the fantasy aspects of the story - the dystopian Tolkien Lord Ruler and Steel Ministry, skaa, ashfalls, mist - but not on developing the criminal world of the characters, linguistically speaking. They’re all crews working on a job headed by a crew leader. This is the world we’re living in, most immediately, and yet it feels the most underdeveloped.

“Kelsier shook his head. ‘No. He’s a good Smoker, but he’s not a good enough man.’ Dockson smiled. ‘Not a good enough man to be on a THIEVING CREW … Kell, I have missed working with you.”

This stopped me dead. I laughed at the book and put my hand over my eyes. “Thieving crew” is just silly. It’s sixth grade D&D language, but even more ridiculous is the sentiment of Dockson’s statement: that character is somehow a moot point because they are criminals. It’s as if he’s saying: we’re breaking the law, so we’re the bad guys, and bad guys don’t work with “good men.”

Here we see Sanderson’s shallow understanding of the characters he’s portraying. They are stealing from slavers who exist in the service of a brutal, oppressive dictator. But put that aside, and consider we’ve just been told one of their ilk had been caught and beheaded by the Ministry. The risk these people are facing couldn’t be higher. Working with people they can trust, a stand up guy or a “good man,” would be one of the most important things to them. From their point of view a “good man” doesn’t mean a patron saint of the poor, but it means a hell of a lot. If a guy is a drunk who cheats on his wife, you can’t trust him not to turn on you. If he gambles too much, you can’t trust him not to gamble on your safety. He doesn’t keep his apartment clean, how can you trust him to be conscientious about keeping you alive. It all matters - even more so because he’s on a “thieving crew.”

Now, Sanderson probably didn’t give this line more than a moment's thought. He was writing fast and sailed right over it. But that’s exactly the problem. It gives the book a kind of childish, YA feeling.

(33) “Kelsier turned with curious eyes.” I’ve written lines like this, but I almost always revise them because I write about eyes too much. The point is his eyes aren’t curious, Kelsier is, and it shows on his face. I can’t picture curious eyes, and I’m sure you can’t either. And I would cut the next line of dialogue - going to chastise my brother … we already know he was going to do this because he said so, and the line just isn’t very good anyway. A look of curiosity from Kell, and the promise from Dockson “it’ll be worth your time,” gets us out of the section better. Sometimes the best repartee between characters is a look.

(33-34) the scenes with Vin remain heavy handed, and affected. This section adds almost nothing to the story accept for the disappointingly narrow view of a fantasy underworld that the women in it are only ever whores. This from a world crawling with Smokers and Tineyes? I think not. The clumsy presentation of Vin’s awful life is what makes these sections particularly affected. With her particular ability to use her Luck, I can’t help but wonder why she’s even still here. That seems to be the story to me. Not the abuse, but why she remains when she clearly has the power to get out. She can smooth over deals with reps from the SM, but she hasn’t thought to calm some member of the crew and then just … walk? Go literally anywhere in the city and use her Luck to get work where she won’t be whipped and slapped. It seems like the easiest thing in the world, so why hasn’t she done it? This is what the story here could have been, and it would have been so much more interesting.

Obviously she has to be there so Sanderson can have terrible things happen to her so she can be saved by Kelsier just like he saved the other raped scaa girl (let’s all take a moment to roll our eyes) and then her character can have a trajectory from passive victim to active hero - but that’s an excuse, and excuses don’t make good stories.

That said, as is, these two pages could be cut entirely and with very minor revision to the next session, nothing would be lost. It introduces a hideout we don’t need to know about, abuse that is redundant, over the top and unmotivated, and then Camon says “it’s time.” It’s just a prelude, in which nothing happens, before the actual scene. So just cut to the actual scene.

(36) we finally find out what the Camon job was supposed to be, I suspect because Sanderson finally decided what the details were. It would have been much more interesting to know this earlier, just like it would have been more interesting to understand about the particulars of Vin’s brothers betrayal earlier, so we could understand the context of the story being told.

But a LARGER ISSUE continues to emerge. First Camon tells Vin nothing about his plans. She says she is apparently the only crew member who didn’t know what was going on. Then, as they sit in the waiting room, in the vey belly of the obligator beast, he tells her everything. Why? Because Sanderson wants us to know even though he never decided who this character was.

He wants her to be a passive victim of inordinate abuses by a group of irredeemable villains, who only avoids constant sexual assault through the exhausting use of her secret magic so she can be saved and then learn how to be powerful later. But he also wants her to be a smart, capable member of Camon’s crew who is considered as such, because he knows passive protagonists aren’t interesting and because he wants us, the reader, to know what’s going on, and also think that Vin is cool. She can’t be both at the same time. She either needs to be less of an abject, pathetic victim, or she needs to be less involved in this big important scam - and that means she knows less about it and does less to make it work. As is, he’s done too little with either idea of her character and both Vin and Camon are an unmotivated mess.

(42) steel inquisitor. Cool, creepy, disgusting - something straight out of hellraiser.

(43) “Besides, I’m not about to let a possible Mistborn slip away from us” Ah!

Ch3 (45) after the meeting with the obligator (that was a trap), is the first time Vin ever expresses any interest in getting away. Much too late Sanderson gives us a much too thin reason why Vin hasn’t run away (considering the conflicting versions of her character as mentioned before). It’s little more than an afterthought.

(47) in no more than 2 pages Vin goes from never thinking she could make it on her own to leaving for good, telling herself she’d survived sleeping in alleyways before, she could do it again and - “Reen had taught her how to scavenge and beg. Both were difficult in the Final Empire … but she would find a way, if she had too.”

So far, this is all based on a bad feeling. More motivation conflict - Vin has no problem telling Camon directly how his plans won’t work and that he should change the way the servants are dressed, helps him succeed with her luck in both plans, but sees no reason to tell him “I have a bad feeling about this. That was too easy. Why did that obligator suddenly agree. Doesn’t this seem weird to you?”

Sanderson has many of the right pieces, but he hasn’t been able to put them together coherently.

(45)(And, just as an aside, I’m not sure why a girl who has spent to book so far reiterating to herself that EVERYONE WILL BETRAY ME is going out of her way to tell Ulef she has a bad feeling and to get him to come with her. Sanderson says “if he would go with her, then at least she wouldn’t be alone.” But he has also up until this point defined her character by a near constant desire to be alone - when she is introduced sitting in the window of the hideout thinking her brothers word “Vin wasn’t on duty; the watch-hole was simply one of the few places where she could find solitude. And Vin liked solitude. ‘When you’re alone, no one can betray you’- (37) at the “It’s just another betrayal, she thought sickly. Why does it still bother me so? Everyone betrays everyone else. That’s the way life is … She wanted to find a corner - someplace cramped and secluded - and hide. Alone.”

(47) "Bringing Ulef was a good idea. He had contacts in Luthadel." These after the fact explanations are no good. This isn't Vin thinking this, it's the author coming up with more justification for Vin's action, but in order for her character to seem active and motivated, this needed to be revised into the section where Vin decides to bring Ulef. Now it's just tacked on - oh, yeah, and, by the way, if you weren't sure it made sense for Vin to do this, Ulef probably knows people. So, there.

It doesn’t wash. Who is this girl? Can she not stand the idea of being alone, or is it the one and only thing she wants? Is she strong and resourceful in spite of her circumstances, or is she a passive victim? Does she believe everyone will betray her, or does she desperately want to believe otherwise because she can’t live in such an unkind world? Sanderson doesn’t seem to have been able to make up his mind. Maybe some of these details were added in revision on the suggestion of beta readers and the result is a checkerboard character. I’ve seen that before where you make a suggestion to a writer and they add your suggestion but they don’t make the necessary changes to the rest of the book so that the new material earns its place, they just throw it in and dust off their hands - job well done, gotta stay on schedule to publish! But now I’m just writing fan fiction about Sanderson’s process. I don’t know.

(55) Vin’s “weakness” - the contradictions/inexactitude of characters seems to be an ongoing issue for Sanderson, at least for Vin. Is she weak and has to pretend to be strong, or is she strong and often chooses to pretend to be weak (so far she has seemed to be weak and act weak, other than her Luck).

Well, that's as far as I got. Kel shows up just in time to be the wrath of justice for Vin. He's the superman who will make everything alright for this feckless girl. Our hero. Did Sanderson lay it on thick enough? Did you get that these people were all so irredeemably and stupidly bad? Aren't you so glad this strong man has shown up to be Vin's vengeance, just like had been telegraphed all along?

Sorry, I don't mean to be sarcastic. This part of the narrative really isn't so bad, its just been so heavy handedly and clumsily lead up to that there's no thrill in it for me. It isn't a bit satisfying. I'm just glad I don't have to read about any of these shallow side-characters anymore. Except, I have no intention to read on, so I don't have to read about any of them anymore.

Is this book bad? Yes and no. I don't want to read any more, and only read as far as I did as an examination of storytelling, so for me its bad. You only get so many eyerolls before I have to say that. The sentences are very clear and coherent. On their own, they are coherent. Together, they fail to paint of picture of coherent characters who drive the action of the story. If you don't have that, at least in my book, you've got nothing.

The images work. The setting, in its broad strokes, is eveocative. I'd love to set a DnD campaign in a world of ash and a dark lord and all that (I'm not the least mad about the cliché of the dark lord, by the way. Who doesn't love archetypical stories?) But, as near as I can tell, there are no human beings in this book. No one is real. The characters are just that, only characters in a book. They are paper cutouts. They fall flat when the hand of the author isn't pushing them around and making them do things.

Fans often hold Sanderson up as the gold standard of a fantasy author who produces work fast. And having read this far into Mistborn, I can say this about it: It reads like it was written fast.

Yes, Mistborn was an earlier book of his, so I can't judge him by it alone. But it is a work that is so often held up as a favorite by his readers. That's why I picked it up, to see what all the fuss was about. There were many things I enjoyed, but what I enjoyed wasn't the narrative. The story and the characters who moved it were the thing that I enjoyed least. The unique magic and broad setting details and description of places and creepy Inquisitors were what I liked best. The proper nouns were fun.

But proper nouns don't make a story for me. So I did not finish Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson.

If I were looking for a light fantasy read that I didn't have to take seriously and I could pick up and put down whenever I wanted because it was never that exciting or particularly witty or clever, but managed to string along one event after another and kept them going, more or less, whether it made much sense or not, until the end, I think Mistborn would be a fine book to dip into. Lots of people have read it. But then, that seems to me to be its major appeal. It’s a book you can talk about with other people.

It's not enough for me, though. There's lots of fun fantasy books out there that feel more coherent, and, well, INTERESTED in the story they're telling. Interested in violence and revolution and crime in an oppressively totalitarian, dystopian world. Interested in the plight of a young girl who only wants … well, what does she want? To be safe? But the only way she finds she can be safe is to go toward danger and realize how very strong she is? Maybe this story would like to be that, but it hasn't been for the first 60 or so pages.

Sanderson's novel felt more interested in the large and vague story shapes around the characters - a city, a dark lord, slavery, soot snow, bad mist, some kinds of magic, and (I cringe to say it) rape and thieving and beatings - but not in the world of their lives.

I've heard good things about The Way Of Kings from people who did not like Mistborn either, but its safe to say at this point that I have reservations about my reading tastes being a good match for Sanderson's work, at least at this point in time.

If I'm looking for fun I'd rather read another swanky, noir fantasy by Douglas Lumsden any day, or the next gothic gaslamp fantasy mystery by Morgan Stang, or discover my next favorite author, indie or otherwise.

I don't think Mistborn was terrible by any stretch of the imagination. Sanderson has delighted readers for over a decade now! He's prolific, hard working, and he delivers what his fans want, and he and they continue to be richly rewarded for his efforts. He is a Name in the genre, often listed alongside the greats. And why not? Isn't pleasing readers what this is all about? Taylor Swift has oceans of adoring fans, and she's no less deserving of her accolades. Brandon Sanderson is the Taylor Swift of fantasy, you could say. I just don't like her music either.

[eerna]

eerna what's going on in s3 bridgerton your posts and answers making me scared to watch on my life lmao

pls don't hate me, Colin lovers, but I was told by a friend who read the series that he's more fun and chill in the books and also i just....find Polin from even s1 is kinda uhhhhh?awkward?? cuz he's kind of unnecessarily serious and so not chill in the previous seasons?? maybe i don't see his appeal because I'm no Penny but i do not see his appeal in the show

so rn i haven't even watched it and seeing your posts is making me moreeeeeee 😶‍🌫️ it's okay give us the cringey details

Nsbysbbsb NO WORRIES!!! I have a weirdly big amount to say about this show bc I am no longer suffering as much as I did in s1 and 2. Prepare for an essay on my feelings on Polin and thank you for enabling me.

Ok so Colin. Not saying your friend is wrong bc I didn't read the book, but p much everyone I saw talking about it said Colin was very angry and aggressive in it, and for NO REASON since he's supposed to be the "calm brother". I'm glad that the show let him get upset, but never the way he was in the books/Anthony was in s2, where I legit worried about Kate's safety sometimes. Colin was my fav Bridgerton brother bc he was totally different from all the other men on the show, calm and silly and romantic.

Thar being said!!! I never ever thought of him as a GOOD love interest, and s3 only made it worse. First off, yeah, s1 and 2 do NOT show him and Pen as friends nearly enough to warrant the speed of their connection in s3. I blocked s2 from my memory bc I hated it So Damn Much so I can't 100% stand behind my words, but I don't really remember many friendly scenes with the two of them that didn't feel like he was just entertaining his sister's bestie? I remember he once danced with her, and he sent her letters from his travels, and that's it. Then in s3 we are supposed to believe Pen knows him soooo well, she sees through his tricks when no one else does, he can't stand losing her friendship when she stops talking to him. How, when the impression I got from their relationship was "oh she is clearly silly in love and he doesn't care about her enough to notice"!!!

And s3... Oh boy. Colin gets his "glowup" and becomes a rake bc Bridgerton writers would probably spontaneously combust if they wrote a virgin male lead. We see him flirt and smash other women and it is always so so so awkward. I've seen people trying to rationalize it as "Oh he is supposed to be pretending, oh we are supposed to find it cringe" but NO, he is objectified the exact same way Simon and Anthony were, and we as the audience are supposes to think it is sexy. To be fair, Pen finds it concerning but I think that has more to do with the amount of silly, vapid women constantly swarming around him. So now we are even FURTHER away from seeing any reasons why the two of them would be friends. And then we get hit with the "Colin teaches Pen how to find a husband" plot, and oh my god it is so bad, IT IS SO BAD, they have like 2 lessons across 1 episode before they are busted and stop and he literally taught her NOTHING she IGNORED HIS ADVICE AND FIGURED IT OUT BY HERSELF but everyone treats him like a war hero for taking one for the team and teaching the poor unlikeable social reject how to act. We also have the stupid scene where she is criyng begging him to kiss her because she is convinced otherwise she would die without being kissed, and he is trying to elegantly avoid it, and oh my god, I hated this, it is framed as cute and romantic but it is so uncomfortable and bad. AAAAAAAA. Anyway. Then there is this hilariously horrible incident where he saves her from a feral balloon, and if you are wondering wtf am I talking about, its because it is really bad and written like a Scary Movie slasher scene. There are exactly 3 moments that I liked, and ALL of them were bc Colin seemed very lost and desperate. First was when Pen told him they should stay away from each other after the scandal of them hanging out came out (which I liked bc if it were any other girl, some unhinged character would force them to marry, but since it was Pen they were like "Well obviously it's true there was nothing untowards happening it is just cringe haha loserrr"), and he looked like he stopped comprehending English. The second was when he was confessing his feelings, he got on his knees and looked like he was about to cry and I thought that was sweet! Well, he did mention torture which is a very ugly word to use in such a speech, but whatever. The third was after the Infamous Carriage Scene when he says something silly and the two giggle together and I was like PLEASE WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY IN S1 AND 2!!

And may I just say!! The actual Bridgerton Glowup one was PEN and NOT COLIN. In s1 and 2 you could tell she was pretty, but in s3 they made her so damn beautiful that my friends and I would go "Oh wow" several times per episode. And it's not only the clothes, they would put her in rooms where she pops out and sparkles and frame her in shots just perfectly. Idk why they only gave her 1 alternate love interest and then shot her Like That, there should have been at LEAST one more guy following in Debling's trail. Now she's the hot one in the relationship so I can't buy her desperation for Colin's approval or society's perception of Colin as a charity in any way.

With all that said. I think this is the best season of Bridgerton proper. It still isn't something I'd enjoy unironically, but at least it is neither a horrible age gap dynamic feat. SA nor a horrible disgusting juggling of sisters feat. murderer vibes. The only thing I'd say is worse than it used to be is the clothes, which are slowly creeping towards The Reign level of ahistorical and bad.

[genericpuff]

Rachel "Retcon" Smythe Strikes Again!

Okay, so I've been seeing pictures of Volume 4 of Lore Olympus floating around, and people are ALREADY FINDING RETCONS.

Most notably so far, some added panels in the Hades and Apollo confrontation that happens outside Artemis' house (when Persephone steals Apollo's lyre) in Episode 81.

This is the original scene, for anyone who needs a refresher:

Aaaand here are the panels that were added.

(all pictures of Volume 4 are courtesy @iwannagutyou on IG!!! thank you for giving me permission to use these! <3)

First of all, the art. It's so noticeably bad. You can tell Rachel has completely lost her ability to draw these characters in the S1 style, I'm fairly certain she took the panel of Hades from the old version and just copy pasted it to try and get around it (look at the posing) but it's incredibly obvious looking at that third panel that LO is not and can never be what it was back in 2017-2019. Those first two panels seem like they were copy pasted from the previous ones, which is just sad if those are the lengths she has to go to to come even close to replicating the older style.

Now, this just might be due to camera translation, it could very well look better IRL, but the colors just look so incredibly desaturated and the lines blurred out, to the point that people are doing double takes over whether or not panels have been directly changed - they haven't been, they've just been so sucked dry of their colors that they look off enough to cast suspicion.

If anything it's a harsh reminder that LO has kinda always had art problems, especially with its lazy humor and stupid meme faces.

Of course, to be fair, color loss can happen in print, but seeing how slapped together these books tend to be, I wouldn't be surprised if they just didn't put in the effort to convert the page art to CMYK or at least tinker with the saturation in editing some more to ensure it would come out more vibrant in print.

Now. Excuse me while I go on a bit of a crackpot rant here. Newbie puff pals beware, because this is gonna get dicey and you're about to learn where my tinfoil-hat rep comes from but I just have to talk about it.

Back to the added Apollo panels, where Persephone asks Hades not to hurt him and he looks nervous before she says "I just want him to leave".

Maybe it's just me, but it's a little weird that THESE are the panels they decided they needed to add. It's weird that she's asking Hades not to hurt Apollo when she's about to break into his car and steal his lyre just a few moments later. It's weird that the implication seems to be that she's referring to Hades' act of violence towards Tori... but Persephone doesn't know that's happened yet. So this feels like an unnecessary retcon that's doing more harm than good.

But I feel like the timing of this is kinda messed up as well, as this book released just days after the release of the last FP episode in which Apollo has his 'side' of the assault story told through his perspective, which is often considered a HUGE no-no in writing assault stories because it often comes with the implication that it's asking for empathy from the audience. We already know Apollo is delusional, we already know he thinks him and Persephone are meant to be despite her constant rejection of him, we didn't need a flashback from his own warped perspective explaining that very thing, the only purpose to do such a thing this late in the game would be to try and get the audience to 'connect' with him (it's giving S3 Bryce from 13 Reasons Why vibes). Now we have this scene of Persephone asking Hades not to hurt him (despite the structure of the episode being literally fine before, this change wasn't needed) getting snuck into the physical book release just a couple days after the newest FP tried to present Apollo in an empathetic light (and let me tell you, that's a whole essay and a half that I'll be getting into eventually).

Shit, if I wanted to get REAL Pepe Sylvia with it, I might say that hypothetically, the whole point of the random Leuce abuse episode - despite Persephone having no way of knowing what she attempted as Hades hadn't told her and she wasn't there to see it and we weren't shown her overhearing them in any way - and the following episode that was mostly padding of Hades and Persephone having sex - no consequences or follow-up whatsoever to the Leuce scene - was just to pad out the episode release schedule and buy time until the book came out so that Rachel could release that Apollo POV episode right before the book came out and revealed those new added scenes of Persephone asking Hades not to hurt Apollo, in what could be a sly artificial attempt at minimizing the SA plot so Rachel can finally just brush aside the one major plot point she regretted writing the most. After all, it wouldn't be the first time Rachel's controlled the pace of her comic to release certain moments at certain times that line up with IRL events.

But, y'know. I'm gonna quit on that thought while I'm ahead because it's probably making my credibility meter drop into the red. My ADHD has been real bad lately and it's really starting to show LMAO All ima say is that IDK who Rachel thinks she's fooling here, this kind of shit is stupid easy to fact check when the digital version of the comic is available online to read.

To end on a much funnier and lighter note, remember how Rachel tried to retcon the Demeter/Hera/Hestia relationship by changing the line "I miss my sisters" to "I miss my friends"? Well, there was one panel that had been missed in the webtoons version that still refers to them as sisters. You can still find this unedited line in Episode 78.

And uh. They forgot to fix it again for the book.

It's permanent now. That's permanent marker. It would have cost them nothing to find this in the webtoon version and fix it before it got sent to the book editors. Now it's gonna cost them thousands because the book editors didn't bother (or know) to check.

There's also this... weird shit going on with the speech bubbles. Like, they're REALLY FUCKING OVERDOING IT with the speech bubble outlines. I don't know who made this choice but it was a bad one. Gross. Don't do that. It looks so cheap.

But let's be real, at this point I feel like the book editors are just outright sabotaging Rachel because who the fuck calls themselves a professional when they do this shit-

Oh, and there's no bonus episode, just sketches. Which is fine. But it makes me chuckle to think that Rachel just didn't have time in her already razor-thin buffer to draw up a new episode to pass off as "cut content".

[reyreadersblog]

SINCE I SAID I AM ALISA ORTEGA'S BIGGEST DEFENDER @reminiscentreader (no offense at all, obviously, i just couldn't write this whole essay in the comments so i made a post, with explenations ♡)

...in this post i want to specify why, talk about her character and her rights and wrongs.

But first of all SHE ISN'T WHITE! I actually found about this not so long ago, bcs i trusted edits and fanarts😔, besides that her looks aren't really described in books, so it is understandable why many got confused, but yeah she's woc.

So..the main reason i'm her defender is probably bcs i relate to to her character in many ways, and i know what it's like to be in her position.

I feel like she is a misunderstood character. From the very start of the book we're introduced to her as hard-working, strong, independent lawyer, who wants nothing more other than doing her job perfectly and defending Avery. I also feel like her character is a mix of Avery and Grayson, two of my fav characters, which is another reason i love her.

Later on, we find out that Nash is her ex-fiance. Many people have said that she was pretty mean to Libby, and i will not deny this, she was, but i also think this sort of behavour from her should be understandable, bcs, imagne loving A HAWTHORNE, ending relationship with them, struggling with break up but not addmiting it...

It was hard for her, to see Libby having obvious feeling for Nash, it hurt her. And for the record some of you are over exaggerate by saying she was SUPER mean to Libby, all she did was say a few passive-agressive sentences to her, which i also think she did for Libby's own good...? This is just my opinion but i feel like Alisa was trying to warn Libby from possible heartbreak, bcs she obviously went through one, she knows Nash, and she doesn't want anyone else to feel as hurt as she felt.

Another thing...many of the character were so mean to her in the first place and didn't appreciate her, for example Grayson. I understand they might've had that "relationship" with her bcs of her loyalty to T.B.H but honestly what could she do? Drop everything, her job, her life and be like "oh yeah he's a bad man", she knew he was...?! She even told Ave that Tobias Hawthorne was an untrustworthy man.

She is a really good lawyer and a..idk.."mother-figure" to Avery...more like an older sister, but anyway, she cares about Avery and the brothers, she proved her loyalty a lot of times and she deserves some respect.

P.s. everyone is getting a love interest, so i hope Alisa finds love too, cuz she deserves it.