#why does Niel look weird?

[multistanninglifestyle]

A: Do you believe in fate?

N: No, do you?

A: Luck then?

N: Only the bad sort.

[elisysd]

16. And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Another love - Tom Odell

She felt something tingling in her ear that had the effect of waking her up. Slowly she turned her head to the left to see fingers a few centimeters away from her face. Ethan had managed to get rid of the pillows during the night and now, he was completely sprayed out on the bed, taking most of the place. She was never moving a lot during her sleep unlike Ethan if she was looking at his figure taking up much of the space. She sighed but noticed it wasn’t that early in the morning. She slowly and silently got out of the bed and hopped in for a rather quick shower.

The breakfast area of the hotel was almost empty, with the exception of a few staff members from teams that, just like her, had to be early at the paddock to set up the car for the practice sessions. It was quiet, something she welcomed. It was giving her the time and space to think things through and to digest the events of last night. She wanted to kiss him. Or she wanted him to kiss her. But in any case, she wanted to feel his lips against hers, she wanted to taste them and to know what they felt like. And it terrified her. Was she falling? had she already fallen? When did that happen? How did it happen? Why did it happen? But most importantly, she wanted it to keep happening.

When she thought about love, she thought about her parents. How they completed each other, how they were always there for one another no matter where they were. It was in the flowers her dad was bringing to her mother every Sunday when he was home. It was in the good morning and good night texts when he was halfway across the globe. It was in the comfortable silence they were falling into whenever they were together, as if nothing besides them was existing. It was in the hard times more than in the good ones. Could she have that? With Ethan? Did she deserve it? Was she allowed to want a love like her parents’? Could Ethan love her?

It was the scariest feeling after admitting to herself that she might be falling in love. Not knowing if the other person could like her back. Ethan had never been the type to settle down and Julia wasn't even sure he would like to one day. And would they even work? They were so different. They couldn’t even stay together without stupidly bickering. It was doomed from the very beginning. It was pointless to even entertain the idea. Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t even see Niels coming to her, half-awake but a content smile on his face.

“Already up?”

“Yeah, I’m an early bird.”

“You seem to be good.”

“Yep! I had an amazing night. If you know what I mean.” he added with a wink.

“Oh! Do I know him?” asked Julia, curious.

“Maybe you do, maybe you won’t. I won’t tell. I’m not sure if it’s serious if it was a one time thing.”

“Would you like it to be more than a one time thing?”

“I mean… I like him. I really do. Not sure if he does, though. It’s complicated.”

“It’s not complicated if you follow your heart and not your head.” she mumbled.

“Speaking from experience?”

“I wish.”

“I assume that it’s complicated with Ethan…”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Well… if I didn’t know you guys were together, I wouldn’t guess it. You guys don’t look like a couple.”

“Do couples have to look like something?”

“They have a vibe, you know.”

“And we are not vibing.”

“You vibe. Just not give couple vibes.”

Julia frowned and absentmindedly nibbled on her apple.

“We are not into PDA.”

“There is a difference between not being into PDA and you looking at Ethan as if he was your personal deodorant.”

“I’m not!”

“You are like an ice cube with him. Try to be as far away as possible, never directly looking at him when we are all together and just spending your time trying to avoid him. I understand that you guys want to be private and you want to avoid the attention but it’s just making everything weird.”

“I don’t want us to be weird… In private we are not like that. We are bickering a lot, yes, but we can be cute. I guess.”

“You guess? Julia, that's the kind of thing you should be sure of! You guys are not dating for that long you should all be lovey-dovey!”

Julia must have made a weird face as Niels sighed and shook his head. Not so long after, it’s Noah that entered the area and made his way to them, freshly shaved and already in his team attire. He took place next to Niels after high fiving him and giving him a pat on the shoulder and snatching Julia’s bread.

“Hey! I was about to eat that!”

“You should have been faster.” he shrugged.

Julia shook her head in annoyance. They kept chatting for a few minutes more before she apologized, saying that she needed to leave for the track. After all, their car wouldn’t get prepared on their own. She quickly came back to her hotel room to find Ethan, his back turned away from her, busy trying to arrange his hair with some styling gel that he didn’t even pay attention to her. She silently enjoyed the moment to check him out, from afar. How focused he seemed and how his t-shirt was already sticking to his back because of the warmth and humidity of the place, leaving up to her to imagine the lines of his muscles.

“You know I can see your reflection in the mirror, Joolsie?” he said, a hint of mockery in his voice.

“I’m not doing anything wrong.”

“No, you can come closer, you’ll have a better look, you know.”

“I was just coming to pick up my bag, I’m heading to the track.”

“Okay. Do you want us to have lunch together? Not just us, we can eat with our friends, if it makes you more comfortable.”

“I promised my dad I would eat with him today. And… I want to show him something.” she added a little unsure.

Ethan moved his head towards her and went to her. She was slightly avoiding his gaze and was playing with her bracelet, something he quickly picked up as a habit of hers when she was feeling anxious. He didn’t have to ask her what it was, he had an idea.

“You used the USB drive.”

“Not really, but kind of? I mean… I did open the files and look at them but I haven’t used them. I don’t want to use them, I think.”

Ethan couldn’t help but feel relieved to hear her say it. He was almost sure she wouldn’t use the drive but still, hearing it from her made him feel better.

“But, I still worked on how to improve the Ferrari. I think I have something and I want to show it to my dad.”

“I’m sure what you have is amazing and he will love it. No doubt.”

She smiled and finally looked at him. There was a gentleness in the way he was looking at her that soothed her, that calmed her anxiety. It was like watching the waves gently crashing on the shore. She felt drawn to him, as if there was an invisible pull between them. A magnetic force that she found hard to resist. No matter how hard she tried.

“Thank you, Ethan.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“You believe in me. It’s a lot.”

Ethan opened his mouth to reply before closing it and reopening it once again but no sound was coming out of it. He didn’t know what to say. Of course he believed in her, she was the best. She had always been. Everyone could see that and in fact, he didn’t understand why Skoda wouldn’t listen to her ideas. It was a stupid move from them and a part of Ethan hoped that she wouldn’t waste her talent for another year with them. She needed to move to a team that would value her skills and would support her. And if by any chance, Ferrari wouldn’t have her either, then he knew that Maserati and Lamborghini would. And he would be happy to have her work with him. He tried to tell himself that it was purely because she would be a great asset to the team, but he would be lying to himself. He wanted to spend time with her, that was all. And it was selfish, he knew that but he was selfish. He had always been and he didn’t want to change. He cleared his throat before looking away. This time, it was him who was uncomfortable.

Julia didn’t notice him acting differently and collected her things before leaving, waving to Ethan and wishing him luck for the free practices as she closed her door behind her. Then again she wasn’t allowed to help with the car and she felt more like being treated like a kid who was punished than an actual adult. It made her angry so much that before joining her dad for lunch, she went to Whilelm’s office to try to understand what she had done wrong to deserve to be treated that way. With a paternalistic look that she hated, Whilelm announced to her that,even if she was good, she had to learn how to work as a team and not go behind everybody’s backs, chasing fame and praise. Julia didn’t understand what he was implying, she had been a team player, she wanted to help and even if she knew that she should have asked for permission to work on upgrades ideas, the treatment she was receiving was unfair.

“So for the foreseeable future and until you’ve learned your lesson, you’ll be the one in charge of cleaning and organizing our stuff. It’s an important task Julia and one I’m sure you have the skills for.” he added with a mocking smile.

She tried her best to calm down before lunch. It was out of the question for her dad to see her like this. She hadn’t worked so hard, spent sleepless nights on books, gone through a tough interview process to be confined to tidying up! She was pissed off and she was wandering the alleys of the paddock, away from prying eyes and ears in the hope to get back her composure. She should have known that lurking near Ferrari hospitality was a bad idea and shouldn’t have been surprised to see Martin and his personal trainer preparing for later. She didn’t really want to see him and was about to turn away and head somewhere else but it was too late. She had been seen.

“Julia? Hey, wait.”

“What do you want? I told you that I didn’t want to be near you anymore. Not after what you did.”

“I’m sorry about that, I don’t know what came out of me, but I agree it was stupid.”

“It was mean. Ethan didn’t deserve that.”

“I feel bad about it, Julia. I don’t want to lose you over something stupid. You are my friend.”

“Stop it, Martin… please.” she sighed. She didn’t want to have this conversation, not again. She didn’ want it to miss with her head.

“Why?”

“Because we are not friends. You don’t want to be my friend.” She explained and the silence that followed confirmed her fears.

“No, you are right. I would have loved to be more than your friends. Because we have a connection and I know that you feel it too. But you are with Ethan and even if I keep on thinking that you deserve better, I’m respecting it. But I do think it’s a shame that we can’t explore what could be between us? Yes, I do. Because I think… No, I know that I can treat you better.”

“You shouldn’t say that, Martin.” she said, feeling her throat tightened.

“You are right. I shouldn’t. But I can’t help myself, okay? You are everything I’ve ever wanted. You are smart, and caring, and fearless, you are funny without intending to be. I love your laugh and it kills me to see you with Ethan and to see how he treats you because you deserve so much more than what he is giving you. And I know I can do better. I can be that. I can be your better. I can make you happy, Julia.”

He was so close to her that she could smell his aftershave. He wasn’t touching her, giving her the choice to back down if she wanted to. She could feel tears threatening to fall. How dare he confuse her like that. She knew that with Martin it would be easy, so easy to let him love her. He was a good guy, he was nice. He would ease her mind. But Ethan’s name kept popping in her mind, as warning signs and he pulled away.

“I can’t Martin.”

She was about to leave when she felt him taking her hand softly in his. And she knew that she shouldn’t but she let him.

“Tell me… just tell me a simple yes or no, but if Ethan wasn’t there, would I stand a chance?”

“I think you know the answer.” she simply said, her voice soar as she finally left.

She wasn’t hungry anymore, she didn’t want to see her dad anymore, she wanted to hide somewhere and cry. Why do having feelings hurt so much? Why did it have to be so complicated? Why, why, why. She stopped in the public restroom and locked herself up. She took out her phone and unlocked it, only to be met with the picture that Ethan had sent to her a few days ago. She couldn’t resist the idea of making it her wallpaper. It was an amazing picture. She loved it and she could definitely see Kat’s photography skills in him. He definitely inherited them from her. She couldn’t even count the number of times she had unlocked her phone these past few days for no reasons other than looking at this picture.

And finally the tears fell. She didn’t know how long she was stuck in the restroom but it must have been for a while as she got a text from her dad asking her where she was. She looked at herself in the mirror and noticed the traces of mascara. She looked like a panda. But not a cute one. She tried her best to try and look decent before heading to the hospitality where her dad was waiting for her, a glass of sparkling water next to him.

“Ju’? Is everything okay, you look pale. Did something happen with Ethan?”

“Not with Ethan, no…” she mumbled. “Dad? Can I ask you something?”

“Always, you know that.” he replied, suddenly worried.

“Did you know that Martin had feelings for me?”

The look on her dad’s face told her everything she needed to know.

“I didn’t know for sure… I just saw the way he looked at you and the way he always talks about you or asks questions. Martin wears his emotions on his sleeve. That’s his biggest weakness as a driver. But a great quality to have.”

“I feel horrible, dad.”

“You can’t help it, Ju’.”

“Yes, I could… I shouldn’t talk to him anymore. I’m only giving him false hopes. And it’s not fair to Ethan.”

“It’s not fair to Ethan if you have feelings for Martin and are entertaining them. Just like it’s not fair to Martin if you don’t feel anything for him and are playing with his feelings.”

“Why is love so complicated, dad?”

“It’s only complicated if you follow your head, princess.”

“But following my heart means more risks to get it broken and I don’t want that. It’s easier to follow my head.”

“You sound like your mom… It’s going to stay between us and I won’t repeat it, but I do think you and Ethan are a great couple. You are balancing each other and I don’t think a lot of people would have done what he did when we had the incident with Louis. The way he has been there for you… only a man in love would have done it.” confessed Charles, unknowingly making Julia feel guilty.

“I really like Ethan…” she said and she almost gasped. It came so naturally that she didn’t even notice that the words were about to come out of her mouth before pronouncing them.

“I hope you do, because if you didn’t I would tell you to break up. I want you to be with someone that makes you happy and that makes you feel like you are his world. You are worthy of that, Ju’. Nothing less.”

The conversation helped her to clear her mind and she needed it. It didn’t totally erase the feeling of guilt that was becoming her new unwanted companion, but at least it helped her to see things through. She was falling in love. Quickly, freely and at full speed. But instead of making her feel better, it made a heart heavy in her chest. Ethan was only seeing her as a means to an end. She was nothing else to him and never would be. He would never settle down and she was only setting herself up for disappointment.  So she made a decision. She would stay with him, just like she promised, until the summer break. And then they would part ways. She just hoped that her heart would handle it until then.

Ethan was bored out of his mind. He only wanted to leave the driver’s meetings and go back to his room. The practice sessions weren’t that good and he knew that the weekend would be shitty for him and the team. But what pissed him off even more than this meeting that seemed to not end was Martin’s side glances that he was giving him quite regularly to the point that when it was finally over, he went straight to him.

“What do you want, Martin?”

“Nothing. It’s going to be a nice weekend, don’t you think, Ethan?”

Ethan was taken aback, not expecting this answer from the Polish driver.

“I guess…”

“How is Julia? Have you seen her?”

“The last time I’ve seen her, it was in our hotel room.” he replied insisting on the our.

“I did see her. Before lunch. And we had a very interesting conversation.”

“Oh yeah? Enlighten me. What could my girlfriend have said to put you in such a mood?”

“That she does feel things for me. That, maybe she doesn’t belong to you as much as you think.”

“Yeah sure…” he laughed, not believing Martin.

“Ask her, if you don’t believe me.”

“I trust Julia. I trust her feelings for me and our relationship. Maybe it’s not the most conventional one, but it works for us and at least we are not boring. Unlike you.”

“We will see about that. But beware Ethan. That’s all I’m saying.”

And with that he left. When Ethan came back to his room, Julia was already there sitting on the floor, her hair still wet after the shower she had taken a few minutes ago, and in very comfy clothes. She was occupied scribbling down in her notebook and was so deep into it that she didn’t even hear the door opening and closing. Slowly, Ethan approached her  and sat beside her. She finally felt his presence and looked up to him, smiling gently.

“How was the meeting?” she asked, closing her books.

“Boring. Nothing interesting came out of it.”

She had a small ink trace on her cheek, Ethan noticed. It elicited a small laugh from him.

“What?”

“You have ink, right there.” he explained pointing to his own cheek.

“Shit! I’m so stupid. I was drawing and…” she said, trying to erase it, unsuccessfully.

“Wait a second.”

Ethan stood up and went to the bathroom before coming back with a bath cloth. Julia was standing as well and was looking at the trace in the mirror, grimacing.

“Joolsie? Look at me.”

Slowly and delicately he put the cloth against her cheek as with his other hand he was maintaining her head so she wouldn’t move. He was so close to her that she could see the different shades of blue in his eyes. She even felt his breath on her lips. He was so close, she would just have to lean in and their lips would touch. If only she was brave enough to do so…

“You’re all good, little painter.” he whispered and she could almost swear that she saw his confusion.

Ethan didn’t back down and kept his hand on her cheek. Her skin was soft and hot. He couldn’t stop himself from stroking it gently and he felt her relax against his touch. It felt good, right, meant to be. But Martin’s words replayed in his mind and Ethan pulled away, leaving Julia with a feeling of coldness that wasn’t there before.

The next day, he tried his best to ignore his feelings and focus on the qualifying. Julia was still sleeping when he left. He needed to be alone. He was starting to regret letting her sleep in his bed, with him. It was messing with his head and blurring lines that didn’t need and shouldn’t be blurred.  He didn’t need complications. Not today. But then there was Martin and his stupid comments and how Julia might have feelings for him and he felt jealous. It was stupid, he never had been jealous. Never. He never cared enough to get jealous. But imagining Martin’s hands around her, his lips against hers… the idea of her laughing at his jokes… It made his blood boil.

But even with his helmet on, a few seconds before starting the first qualifying sessions, he couldn’t get her out of his head. The traffic was a mess and he found himself caught up in it. He would be out, for sure. In his rearview mirror, coming close to him was Martin who was preparing himself for his fast lap. Ethan saw red, it was out of his mental preparation to stay calm, to be focused no matter the situation went out of the window as soon as he noticed Martin. He knew that his weekend wouldn’t be good anyway and he knew that what he was about to do would probably cost him a penalty ut, he didn’t care.

So Ethan slowed down right in front of the Ferrari, preventing Martin from starting his fast lap and getting them both out in Q1, respectively P17 and P18.

Julia couldn’t help but gasp when she saw Ethan’s maneuver. He had sabotaged himself. And it pissed her off. He would get a penalty and all of that for what? She guessed it was because of Martin and their beef but she never thought it would go as far as impending the Ferrari. As soon as the qualifying ended she went straight to the Maserati garage in hope to find Ethan. On her way she found her dad coming back from the FIA offices, along with Martin. They both were pissed off. Rightfully so. It was not allowed in the regulations and even if Julia liked Ethan, she also liked when rules were followed. He had been stupid and would deserve the penalty he would get.

“Ju’, I like Ethan but I would like to keep off the track whatever rivalry you guys have going on. Alright?”

“I hope it was worth it. For him to sabotage his race for you. Just to prove a point. I didn’t know he felt so insecure.” said Martin, clearly pissed off.

“I’m sorry about him. He shouldn’t have done that. I’ll talk to him, but I hope you still be able to climb up a few positions tomorrow.”

Martin shrugged his helmet still under his arms and walked away.

Julia sped up her walk, almost running towards the Maserati garage. Not seeing Ethan there she decided to go behind the building and find him there, with his personal trainer, about to enter an ice-bath. He only had his swimwear trunk that was not  leaving a lot of things up to imagination and she tried her best to keep a poker face. She was mad.

“Impending! Really? Do you know how many positions it will cost you?”

“Five seconds penalty and I’m starting from the pitlane tomorrow. It’s fine, I hate this track anyway.” he shrugged.

“But why? Why would you do that?”

“He pissed me off.”

“But why?” she insisted.

“Because I hate how he acts towards you! Can’t he respect that you are my girlfriend, for fuck’s sake. You are with me, in my room, in my bed. Your smiles are for me, your jokes are for me and most of the time about me too, but I let it slide because I prefer to see you laugh than to see you sad. I was there when you needed me, not him! He doesn’t know you like I do and yet he has the audacity to think that you would accept to be his? What planet does he think he lives on?” he snapped.

“So you were jealous.”

“Of course I was. Because I know that if you were not stuck with me you would be in his arms and that kills me. Now if we are done with arguing, I really need to enter this bath.” he added pointing to the tank of water where ice was filling the surface.

“Go on.I won’t stop you.”

He noticed how she was hell bent on looking everywhere but him. And how red she was. Maybe because of how hot it was outside, maybe because she was angry or maybe because she was flushed because of him. He liked this last thought. He slowly approached her, like a hunter in front of his prey and when she least expected it, he seized her waist and took him out with him in the cold water making her scream.

“Ethan! Oh my gosh, you asshole!”

He could feel her shivering against him and pulled her closer to him. The tank was not big enough for them both and Julia had to straddle him to be comfortable as Ethan snaked his arm around her waist drawing her closer. She had to put an arm around his neck to stabilize herself. Despite the ice and the cold temperature inside the bath, she felt hot. Her white t-shirt was completely soaked and sticking to her skin and she was sure Ethan could see her bra through it. Yet, he locked his gaze on her and pulled away some hair that was in the middle of her face.

“You are looking like a soaked rat.” he stated.

“Whose fault is that, uhm?”

“Are you okay? Comfortable?”

“If I’m catching a cold, I’m blaming you.”

He laughed and the movement of his chest made her move a little and that’s when she felt something poking against her thigh that made her blush hard. That was enough to make her snap out of the moment as she tried her best to get out of the tank under Ethan’s laugh and unbothered by the situation.

“Joolsie, it’s okay. You don’t have to feel embarrassed!” he called her as she was quickly trying to dry herself.

“I…I’m not embarrassed! I.. It’s just… can’t you control yourself?” she was completely flushed and it just made Ethan laugh harder.

“Well… not really, Julia.”

“Oh Gosh, I hate you sometimes.”

“Do you want to get back in, you know, to cool down?” he asked just to tease her.

“Certainly not! I’m not going back in with you while you… you…”

“Have a boner? You can say it, it’s not a bad word.”

“Fuck off!”

And she left as quickly as she came while Ethan was still laughing. This had been the highlight of his day.

Author's note: What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. It helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[mxtangent]

Ben Shapiro Writing an Email - an Epic Tale

"Okay, it's one simple email, you can do it Ben, your wife is a doctor." Ben said as he bagan to type in his Thinkpad X270 laptop.

To whom it may offend,

"Ah no!" Exclaimed Ben, "it's reads as way too desperate..." Ben attempted to mash the backspace button to erase his numerous mistakes, but accidentally backed out of the Gmail website all the way back to a YouTube video named "Ben Shapiro DISINTEGRATES snowflake until they're REDUCED TO MERE ATOMS with his PARTICAL EXALERATOR POWERD RAYGUN." He briefly paused to wonder how many pages back he went, trying to decipher when in the last 18 hours he saw the video before him, as he spent all of them seeing clips of himself to gather up the confidence to write an email.

After 4 more hours of procrastinating on YouTube, Ben finally got back to writing the email

Dear liberals,

If I'm wrong about something, then why does my doctor say my brain is so big? Attached is factual proof from a doctor, (not my wife, which is also a doctor) and as you would agree that facts and logic don't care about your feelings, you will no longer be able to deny that I am extremely intelligent.

Sincerely,

Ben Shapiro, MD('s husband)

He began looking through the files of his old laptop, it taking hours to load each folder, the computer seemingly begging for mercy as each it loads more and more folder filled to the brim with clips of the times Ben was victorious in debates with young collage students. Finally, he found what he was looking for in a folder filled with different photos of Andrew Niel with badly scribbled edits mocking him.

"I should really get to organizing my files by the dwey decimal system sometime soon..." He paused for a second "But not now. Now is the time to destroy those peaky snowflakes once and for all."

Ben dragged a scanned PDF of a diagnosis for a cancerous brain tumor he got a few days back from a medical professional into Internet Explorer, and after the browser opened the PDF instead of attaching it, and Ben going back and rewriting the email, (not aware of the draft folder) he finally wrote the recipient: liberals@gmail.com.

Shapiro hit the send button with great enthusiasm, not before CCing his doctor wife who is a doctor so she could be proud of him for finally sending an email. But he immediately got a response. The email bounced. He didn't understand, the liberals must have a shared email address, otherwise how would they plan their agenda on a Google Docs? He was devistated, crying on the floor in a fetal position. He tried to get back up, but couldn't. Ben started to feel weird, like the world was made of jelly. He couldn't move. His vision going black.

The next day, Fox News held a segment about the recent passing of renouned internet celebraty Ben Shapiro, who died after an intercontinental ballistic tweet sent by the liberal snowflakes has inflicted him with cancel culture. (aka terminal brain cancer)

It is said (by Alex Jones) that the whole nation wept that day. But some whisper of a dark street corner where cheers could be heard. In that street corner, a local folk legend claims, lays the remains of a bus.

[harringrovesuperior]

Another bit of the fanfic: “friends to what..?” Harringrove

Billy’s pov: “it’s another day, but it’s Tuesday, which means I have to take Max to get ice cream.” I rolled my eyes and picked out an outfit(use imagination) did my hair, brushed my teeth, and walked downstairs to eat breakfast. “MAX GET UR ASS DOWN HERE SO WE CAN GO.” I yelled, grabbing the car keys. “ OK OK IM COMING JEEZ” max walked downstairs ready to go.

The car ride was silent again, until max spoke. “Did you actually want to get me ice cream, or is it an excuse to flirt with Steve?” She asked. I froze, “did she know about what happened?” I thought to myself. “Look dipshit, I’m not flirt with Steve! We will get that ice cream and go.” I rolled my eyes, getting annoyed . “Whatever..” she said with a huff, looking out the window of the car.

We got to the mall, and walked up to scoops, and there he was, ofc with his friend, but Steve Harrington. “King” Steve. Pretty boy himself, in his little sailor outfit, it was cute.

“Yeah. Fine . I do. I fucking do. I fucking like Billy Hargrove!” I hear from a distance, it was coming from Steve himself, so I smirked.

“Ah-em” I coughed, waiting. Robin walked quickly to the back room, leaving me and max with him. “What happened pretty boy? Someone lost their voice?”i said smirking. “I-I-I-“ he couldn’t get out a word.he felt like he couldn’t breathe, he started getting dizzy, but somehow after a while he manage to snap out of it and finally say something.

“Pfft- no. I was just thinking. Now what do you want?” “Neopolitan.” “Oh. Hey there ginge” “Just get me my ice cream.” Max said as she rolled her eyes at him causing me to chuckle. “And you?” He asked “Mint.” Me and max waited for the ice cream. He finished scooping max’s ice cream before giving her it and started scooping mine

I looked over at Steve scooping the ice cream, and he paused and said “I want to talk.” “About what.” I said while he was continuing to scoop my ice cream “Yesterday.” “Look. We can talk about that another time. I’m with my sister and I don’t want her to know. Okay?” I said, looking over at max Steve only responded by giving him the ice cream. “That’ll be $5.39 cents.” I gave him my normal death stare, gave him his money, and walked off, before he could have said anything further.

Max looked at me while licking her ice cream, and asked “what was that all about?” “Nothing don’t worry about it, let’s just go home.” I said while walking to the car, still licking the ice cream.

The car ride was more awkward than the ride before, it was quiet like the same, but it just fell off, it felt weird and uncomfortable. We ate our ice cream before heading inside.

Max walked in first, going to her room, I opened the door and saw Niel, waiting for me like always.(unless he went out drinking)

“did you buy her ice cream.?” “Yes sir.” “Did you yell at her.?” “No sir.” “Good, it’s your responsibility, you have to take care of her, do I make myself clear.?” “Yes sir.” “Now go to your room, me and Susan won’t be home tomorrow.” “Yes sir.”

I walked away, walking upstairs to my room, “good, I’m glad you won’t be here.” I whispered, closing my door. I changed into just sweatpants again, and laid on my bed, thinking.

“Why does he wanna talk about what happened yesterday?” “Maybe it was just a mistake.” “I don’t like him.” “I can’t like him, I can’t.” “But.. fuck Steve Harrington. He was perfect, everything about him was. And how pretty he was.” “Fuck.. I can’t like him, even if I wanted to.” Or maybe.. I can..?

I thought to myself, for a few hours, I don't know why but since yesterday I just kept thinking about him, Steve Harrington. The boy I'm supposed to hate, the guy I can't even date. If my dad found out, he would kill me.

He almost did back in Cali. When he saw that I brought a guy home, my friend. My friend was scared for his life, he didn't know that Niel was like that. After he kept yelling at me which felt like hours, my friend didn't talk to me. He didn't talk to me for weeks, or months even, with no contact, he switched all of his classes, didn't sit with me at lunch, just kept ignoring me.

Until Niel thought it was best to move somewhere else, so I can "change" back to the son he wanted me to be. He didn't like me liking or saying guys, he wanted to to date or like girls. That's why we moved to Hawkins Indiana.

The place sucked, the weather was different, it didn't feel nice. I had to change schools too, which made it even "better" the whole experience of moving was awful. He wouldn't stop lecturing me about not liking guys anymore. I thought I didn't like any guys anymore, until I saw him, Steve Harrington.

We became close but, my dad wouldn't like that so I told him we should act like rivals, enemies even. Steve questioned at first, but then just went with it? We planned fake fights, I'd call him names, push him when we played basketball. It's been like that for year now.

But something about him.. ugh it made my stomach have butterflies every time I saw him in class. He made it so hard not to like him, but before.. he did have a girlfriend, her name was Nancy wheeler I think? I don't know, but I didn't like her one bit. Heard she cheated on him with a guy named Jonathan? Weirdo.

And now.. he's single, the former "king" lost his girlfriend to a weirdo, isn't even king anymore, and yet.. I still get butterflies?

[thefloatingstone]

If you’re doing Self Quarintine (and you should be if you can help it) here’s some Youtube recommendations! Some of these I have posted about or recommended before but with almost all of us stuck indoors now’s a good time to remind you of some cool things you can watch for free!

I’m not gonna imbed the videos, I’ll just post the link because otherwise I would only able to post 5 and I want to collect a few so you can make a playlist or something. (I could make a playlist too but then I couldn’t tell you what each video is and you can’t pick and choose which one sounds interesting to you)

In no particular order:

Polybius: The video Game that doesn’t exist

An hour long documentary in which the youtuber did extensive research to find the origin of the “Polybius” Urban Legend, which speaks of an early arcade game reportedly seen around the early 1980s which reportedly gave people migraines, insomnia, nausea, subliminal messages, and in some cases heart attacks.

The Universal S

A shorter video in which LEMMiNO does his very best to try and track down where exactly this S that we all drew in middle school comes from? Why does literally every country on earth seem to HAVE their children draw this S?

I also recommend LEMMiNO’s video on the Dayltov Pass Incident and the perplexing UFO cases

Down the Rabbit Hole: Henry Darger

Fredrick Knudsen has an incredible fascinating series called “Down the Rabbit Hole” which simply focuses on... anything you can discover and go digging into. From weird internet personalities, to bizarre happenings in history. This video is about the artist Henry Darger, a man who lived in the early 1900s and for all intents and purposes had a perfectly average, lonely life, until it was discovered just before his death he had spent literally decades writing and drawing a fantasy world in what is possibly the longest piece of literature ever written.

I also recommend his video on the Hurdy Gurdy

Bedtime Stories Channel

I’m actually just gonna link the whole channel for “Bedtime Stories”. If you like weird and creepy stories, all of which at least claim to be “true” then Bedtime Stories is great. Coupled by illustrations and subtle sound effects, Bedtime Stories is literally listening to someone tell you a story about such things like hikers who mysteriously went missing, Sightings of Bog Men in Florida and giant Birds over Chernobyl, as well as weird and unsettling murders that remain unsolved. Sometimes the facts are a little dubious or have been disproved, but that’s not the point of the channel. It’s here to tell a creepy story, not give you a documentary.

A Journey Through Rule of Rose

Rule of Rose is a Survival Horror gave for the PS2 which has rather bad gameplay... but a FASCINATING story with just as many layers and symbolism as Silent Hill 2 could boast. It tells the story of one young woman traveling back into her own childhood in an orphanage in the 1930s, and all the horrors that contains. From repressed grief, abusive relationships, child neglect, abuse, and bullying... but it ALSO contains symbolism of societal class structure, politics, eating the rich, and how power structures work. Not for the faint of heart, but HIGHLY recommended.

I also super highly recommend his video on the similarities between Silent Hill 2 and Solaris

Clemps Reviews Crisis Core

Mr. Clemps is a great internet gamer who reviews JRPGs and other games he simply enjoys. Sprinkling in a heavy dose of comedy and very fast jokes and observations, Clemps’ videos are always upbeat, fun, and incredibly enjoyable to watch. I’m linking part 1 of his Crisis Core video in which he explains why the PSP game remains a personal favourite of his despite its flaws.

I also recommend his video on Eternal Sonata

Defunct TV: The History of Dragon Tales

Defunctland is a channel that deals with theme parks and theme park rides that are no longer standing, or which are no longer around in their current form. Defunctland also has a sub series though, called “Defunct TV” where they look at the origin of children’s TV which are no longer airing. I recommend the video on Dragon Tales which is incredibly wholesome, and a genuinely uplifting and soft story of good people trying to make good things for children. (I also recommend the videos on Bear in the Big Blue House, Zoboomafoo, and Legends of the Hidden Temple)

Hagan’s Histories of Polar Exploration

A Playlist for Diamanda Hagan’s videos about the doomed Franklin Expedition from the late 1800s, where England tried to find a passage through the Northern Arctic to the Pacific Ocean. This went horribly horribly wrong, with every member of the Expedition dead. Over a 100 years later we are still fuzzy on what EXACTLY happened, but apart from the arctic chill, there is also evidence of faulty canned food, a series of bad decisions, and cannibalism. Caution advised for this series.

I also recommend the rest of Diamanda Hagan’s channel. She is NOT for everyone, but if you enjoy somebody reviewing Z grade indie movies as well as just BIZARRE films, really bad Christian media bordering on Science Fiction (without making fun of religion itself) hot takes of classic (and modern) Dr. Who, an introduction to Red Dwarf, She’s an EXCELLENT channel to check out.

Good Bad or Bad Bad: Pass Thru

A half podcast half review show where two guys watch a terrible film, decide if it’s “Good” Bad or just Bad Bad and tell you if you should watch it too.

That’s it. That’s the whole show.

I recommend diving into the untold madness that is one of the best(?) bad film makers currently still producing batshit insane movies, the immortal Niel Breen.

There is literally nothing I can say that’ll prepare you for Niel Breen.

(I also recommend their more recent video for “Dancin’ It’s on!”)

History Buffs: Apollo 13

Do you like History? Do you like movies ABOUT History? Do you want to know if the movies about history you watch actually resemble what really happened in any way at all? History Buffs is an EXCELLENT channel, which does talk about the merit of a film itself, but is mainly focused on letting you know just how true to life that historical film you watch is. I highly recommend his longest video which covers the space race between the USA and the USSR, leading to what is known as “The most Successful Failure in NASA’s History”. The Infamous Apollo 13 and where the words “Houston, we have a problem” came from.

If you’re not interested in Apollo 13 however, I also recommend his video on the movie Casino, as well as his video on the female philosopher, Agora.

The Internet Historian: The Goodening of No Man’s Sky

With videos with literally MILLIONS of views, you probably already know the Internet Historian. But I still want to recommend him very highly because his videos are just THAT good and entertaining. I recommend his newest video, documenting that time we were all pissed off about No Man’s Sky, the difficulties the game studio was in when the game released, and how they have been working hard to finally create what is now a truly brilliant game which is winning major awards. A really good underdog story of how a video game company actually saw what was wrong with their game, and FIXED it.

I also recommend his video on Fallour 76 as well as the Failure of Dashcon

8 Creepy Video game mysteries

Hey. Did you know that sometimes there’s some REALLY weird shit in video games, hidden easter eggs which took literal decades to find as well as just a lot of “what the actual fuck?”. Oddheader is a channel with a dedicated discord and Reddit form solely focusing on trying to find or replicate bizarre video game finds, mysteries, and hidden glitches. Even if it means getting in his car and driving to a specific arcade just to check a rumour about Street Fighter II’s arcade version. So if you like getting spooked by weird game shit that’s not just some dumb creepypasta, this is a great place to start.

I also recommend his video on weird discoveries in DVDs and movies.

Red Letter Media: Best of the Worst

Look you already know who Red Letter Media is.

You know... these guys:

Here’s a video of them and Macaulay Culkin watching 3 terrible movies together.

I recommend literally any and all of their videos. Their discussion on Carpenter’s The Thing is amazing.

The Impact of Akira: The film that changed Everything

Ok trying to pick just ONE Super Eyepatch Wolf video is literal torture. Originally I was going to suggest his recent video on Final Fantasy 7 for the PSone but I realised I recommended something FF7 related with Clemps, so instead I will recommend The Impact of Akira, a video talking in depth about Akira both as a film as well as a manga, how it completely and utterly changed the anime industry both in Japan as well as the west, and why it is still a meaningful and one of the most important anime/manga even to this day, still being unsurpassed despite so much competition.

However, ALL of Wolf’s videos are incredible, so I also recommend his videos on wrestling (despite me not caring about wrestling at all), His video on how media scares us, The bizarre reality of modern Simpsons, Why the Dragon Ball Z manga is great, and literally any other video he’s made. He hasn’t made one bad video yet.

Was Oblivion as Good as I remember?

Exactly what it says on the tin. The Salt Factory goes back to playing The Elder Scrolls Oblivion and now with hindsight and modern sensibilities, gives feedback on his experience and whether Oblivion still holds up. This isn’t a super in depth review of the game’s mechanics or how its put together or how it was made. This is simply one guy talking about his experience replaying it with somejokes thrown in and how he felt revisiting it. It’s pretty good.

I also recommend the video he did on Morrowind (because I’m biased).

Weird Japan Only PS1 games

Thor High Heels is SO GOOD and deserves SO MUCH MORE subs than he currently has. THH focuses a lot of obscure and lesser known games as well as big popular titles like the Yakuza series, talking about what he likes about them, what he thinks is cool, and just what kind of atmosphere and mood a certain game has, even if the game itself is kind of ass. He’s done several videos on games that were only released in Japan, as well as videos talking about the fashion in Squaresoft games and how it inspired as well as was inspired by real world street fashion, the aesthetic of PC-98 games and other topics. He also styles his videos and thumbnails after promotional art for video games from the 90s and generally just has an excellent style to his channel over all. Very chill.

Blue Reflection Review

ValkyrieAurora is a channel run by Sophie where she talks about games she personally likes and enjoys. Her videos are really laid back and her voice is really calm and pleasant to listen to. She’s made a bit of a reputation for herself as “The channel that talks about the Atelier Games” and general is just a really enjoyable channel worth checking out if you just want something soothing to listen to.

Ancient Chinese Historians Describe Japan

Voices from the Past is a channel were historical text is read out loud in english. These can be anything like the above video where Chinese historians describe the people of Japan around 297 AD, Accounts of “Dog-Men”, or the worlds oldest letter of complaint from 1750 BC. If you’d like something interesting historically to listen to but don’t want a full blown history lesson, this is a really good way to hear contemporary people talk about their experiences and what they thought about each other in their own words, without opinions or input given by the narrator.

The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet

Whang! is a channel that covers weird internet stories, some horrifying, some curious and interesting, and some just plain weird. His video on The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet and its update, are about a song which was recorded off the radio in Germany around the 1980s, and after one person online asked if anyone knew who the artist was as they couldn’t find any information, led to the realization that NOBODY online knows where this song came from or who sang it. It’s a fun mystery to look into that, unlike some others on this list, is not creepy or unsettling, although perhaps a little frustrating.

I also recommend his video on The Most Mysterious Anime theme song, and the haunted Ebay Painting.

5 Lost, Destroyed, and Locked away Broadcasts

Yesterworld is similar to the Defunctland channel in that it talks about obsolete rides, theme parks and other forgotten pieces of entertainment. Although the majority of the channel focuses on movie rides, rollercoasters and Disneyland, I recommend the video on lost and locked away broadcasts which you can no longer see. I also recommend the video about Lost and Rediscovered movie props.

The Nightmare Artist

I talked about this one recently as I just discovered this channel. This video is about the renowned Polish artist Zdzislaw Beksinski who painted surreal and horrifying paintings during his lifetime. There is no mystery here or anything like that, it merely talks about the impact WWII left on Beksinski and how the trauma his country and people suffered influenced his painting, and how certain images and motifs can be seen to directly reference this terrible part of Poland’s history.

Disabilities in Prehistory

Modern media likes to portray how “savage” the ancient past is, and tell us stories of how any person born with a deformity or disability would be thrown over a cliff or dumped in a well because they would be too big a drain on a community to look after. But here’s the thing... according to archaeological evidence, it turns out our ancient ancestors actually did their best to look after its disabled members to the best of their abilities. This video talks about archaeological finds of people who had genetic disabilities and what we can learn from their remains. TREY the Explainer is a great channel for archaeology and also talking about what answers we could have for sightings of cryptids. (not ALL of which we have answers for)

I also recommend his video on Pre-Contact dogs as well as Homosexuality in Nature and the Genetic History of the Ainu.

Decoding “The Secret: A treasure Hunt”

“The Secret” was an art book released in the 80s full of beautiful paintings, but it is also more than that. The book has a fantasy story talking about 12 fantastical races who left wonderful treasures for humans to find,and the book’s paintings and riddles will tell you where you can find each of these treasures which are yours to keep if you can solve the puzzle... and the treasures are 100% true and can actualy be found and claimed, if you can solve the riddles in the book. The video tells the story of the artbook, who was behind it, what the treasures are, how many have been found and various other facts and details.

I also recommend the videos on this channel “The Game: A scavenger Hunt” and “The investigation of Erratas”.

5 Ancient Inventions That Were WAY Ahead Of Their Time

I would recommend you be careful with this channel as its main focus is existentialism and rather alarming topics such as “how close are we to the apocalypse” and other things whose titles alone are enough to upset me. However this video is nothing like that. This video is exactly what the title suggests it is. 5 ancient inventions that were so incredibly ahead of their time you’d think they were made up. From the computer used by ancient Greeks to steel swords we don’t know how to replicate, this video is a great mix of mystery and history.

Although I caution you with this channel, I recommend Joe’s other videos about mysterious books, as well as his video on the most inbred people in history.

However, I know I keep repeating this, I highly recommend caution with this channel. Perhaps its just me and the topics of life and existent are just triggering for me, but I’d recommend maybe just doing a search for the titles I mentioned and not to go searching through the video library unless you’re not bothered by this kind of thing.

-

Anyway I could keep going, but I think that’s a LARGE amount of videos to keep you occupied for the time being as well as some suggestions for further viewing.

Please enjoy, let me know if you found something interesting, and look after yourself!

If you enjoyed this list at all, please consider tipping me for a coffee

☕️ Ko-fi ☕️

[woodywood101blog]

Kevin needed to do a different sort of coming out when he told his best friend that he was pregnant with his partner’s baby. The friend, Sjors, was getting more and more concerned that Kevin just disappeared out of the blue in the last couple of months, especially as he was in the middle of a national tour of his show. Slowly, Kevin lifted his shirt, with Sjors being more and more shocked and surprised when he saw a massive belly on Kevin.

“Surprise? I’m six months pregnant! So, ponder me this: How am I meant to be on stage when I have this going on?”

“Oh, well.. I’m sure you could wear black on stage?”

“I am and already I look like a whale. This is why I need to be alone and just with Niels for the time being, okay? I don’t hate you, I just want this baby to be happy and healthy.”

“Well, congratulations, I guess? How does it feel?”

“So weird, but also amazing.”

[a-slytherinish-gryffindor]

Group Introductions

hey guys, for those of you who have noticed, our posts frequently switch from we-us-our to I-me-my and etc. This is because we are a group of friends on one account and some (yes lina, i'm talking about you, when you see this. you're an idiot and I humbly request that you use your brain) of us are idiots who forget that seven other people have the password to this account. In the beginning, this account was only controlled by me, Em. (I honestly don't know how everyone else got the password) There are eight of us but we go by our nicknames. (I guess we're the admin? Because there's actually twenty-two of us who work on these fics but we're all still in school, and we don't want our gpa's to suffer any more than they usually do, haha) (this is actually a school club that more than thirty people attend) Anyway, we'll try to tag ourselves using this format: Admin:[nickname] down in the tags or somewhere in the post. (Also, our username [a-slytherinish-gryffindor] was meant to be mine only but now its this mess and I dont know how to feel about it) We also try to write a/n's but we always don't know what to say, sorry.

We are:

Em (me, the admin of admins and supervisor over these idiots when on tumblr and your local chocolate addict) (also for some reason near-unanimously voted president?? no one will tell me anything except that I do good work and like to control everything?? i don't understand?? but ok?? why do you keep giving me chocolate bars?? I'm not complaining but??) (also, our pfp is of my picrew and I'm not letting anyone change it since this was supposed to be my account)

Lina (the idiot, but a nice idiot as well as a good plot maker) (I mean that she comes up with a lot of the important plot points)

Veta (the artist and impulse control and linguist) (she's skilled in vocabulary and helps us not sound like idiots) (unfortunately, some of us are beyond help, like lina, who is miss i-cant-speak-english-language-or-any-other)

Tine (also artist, but a digital artist) (everyone likes her, like seriously, no one can say anything bad about her in person, she's just too... nice? i don't know, its weird)

Kalee (the taskmaster and beta reader) (shes tiny but scary and also a good reader and very criticizing about our writing)

Mat (our music person and somehow second in command??) (I hate him. he's always criticizing and condescending and infuriating but has good taste in music and adds another pov to our writing so he's good for something I guess) (he was also almost-unanimously voted in. i swear on my chocolate stash that they're up to something and I dont like it)

Niel (actually a very nice person and our other beta reader) (I have no complaints about him other than please stop sneaking up behind me. i will accidentally punch you in the face one day and then I will laugh at you and walk away)

Than (actually i don't know what he does here other than provide snarky comments at us) (look dude, if you hate it then do it yourself, also where did you come from, and since when are you an admin???)

~

*edit*

The writer of this post was Em and everything she wrote about us was just her opinion. please ignore~ lina

*edit 2*

everything was true and get back to your classwork, lina. i see you not doing work. and before you say anything about me, I'm actually done, so ha. ~em

[pepethehobbit]

Wish you were here - A Notting Hill Au

So I guess the title is self explanatory. I just love love love Notting Hill so much and I couldn’t stop thinking about vds and now it’s here. This is the first chapter, I don’t know how many there are going to be but I will definitely continue writing it. This can be read without having watched the movie of course. So without further ado, here is the first chapter! Thank you for reading! It’s also on AO3.

It’s a quiet day. It always is actually. The shop is in a rather  quiet part of town, where not many tourists get lost in. The people who  come here are ones that specifically search for them and those aren’t  too many either. Apart from the one lost customer, who just asked for  the new Niels Destadsbader album on vinyl, no one else has come into the  shop today. Jens has to refrain himself from rolling his eyes at the  guy with a weird mullet like hair cut and clothes that looks like he   stepped out of an 80’s music video. What he does though, is share a look  of quiet exasperation and amusement with Sander who is stacking the   shelves with the new special edition vinyls of David Bowie’s Welcome to the Blackout  live concertalbum from his show in London in 1978. Jens took over the  shop from his father when he died and asked Sander to help him run it.  Because even though Jens loves music he is no expert in the area of  Bowie, Queen and the sorts. Those are the ones his father loved the most  which is why he opened the store to share his love for the music and  the artists.

Jens tries to inform the customer as kindly as  possible that they only sell the works of David Bowie, Queen and Pink  Floyd (as indicated on the front window of the shop, seriously, can’t  people read?) but that he is welcome to have a look around if he wants  to look for alternatives. Although he can’t really imagine that the guy  would find something for his music taste if he asked for Niels freaking Destadsbader in the first place. But to his surprise the guy stays and takes a look   around. Maybe he will actually buy something and Jens would make his   first sale for the day, or more accurately the week. Sander seems to   have finished shelving the new vinyls and comes up to Jens behind the   cash register.

“I’m gonna take my break now and meet Robbe for lunch, that alright?”  

Jens  smiles at him and nods in agreement. “Sure, I think I can handle this dumbass customer on my own.” Sander snorts in answer, gives him a pat on  the shoulder and says: “Alright, good luck. See you later.”

Still  behind the counter, Jens hears how the door shuts behind Sander and   tries to concentrate on what he sees as his real job. He’s supposed to   write the music for this period drama full of important Hollywood actors  and even though Jens is a secret sucker for a good Jane Austen movie he  isn’t feeling very inspired today. The struggle to create the perfect  romantic mood with his music probably stems from the fact that his own  love life is practically non-existent right now. The dates he has always  end up dumping him when he can’t find the time for them because of his  two jobs.  Alternatively, his dates find out he writes music for big  Hollywood films and hope that through him they get to meet some  celebrities, which is usually around the time where it’s Jens’ turn to  dump them. His last real relationship has been after he just finished  college. They were together for two years until Peter had to move across  country for his job and Jens wasn’t ready to follow him, because his  father had just died and he needed to take care of the shop. They stayed  in contact for a while but soon his ex-boyfriend met someone new and  Jens has had a series of dates which ranged from pretty pleasant to  mindnumbingly boring to deeply disturbing (aka the one time Sander and  Robbe tried to set him up with one of Sander’s art friend). But in the  last three years there hasn’t been anyone who Jens wanted to stay with  or who wanted to stay with Jens for that matter. Jens tries to shove the  thoughts of his non-existent love life aside and focuses on the musical  scores right in front of him.

He looks up easily distracted when  he hears the door again, expecting Sander who just forgot his wallet or  something, ready to throw a teasing remark his way when everything in  him freezes and his brain is trying to comprehend the person who just  stepped into his shop. He obviously tried to hide who he is with a snap  back on his head and sunglasses that he just tucked away in the pocket  of his jean jacket but Jens recognizes the bright blue eyes and the  blonde curls that stick out anyway.

Lucas van der Heijden.

Obviously  Jens knows who that is, basically everyone knows who that is. You would  have to live behind the moon to be oblivious of Lucas van der Heijden.  Here are the facts that Jens knows about him. He is an academy award  winning actor, he was actually born in the Netherlands but moved to the  UK with his family when he was a teenager, Jens has had a ridiculous  crush on him since he saw his first movie which jump started his acting  career (Jens may or may not have watched every single film of him  since), he came out as gay two years ago and most importantly, he is  currently standing in Jens’ old record shop.

Lucas van der  Heijden doesn’t seem to pay him any attention and begins to roam the  shop looking actually kind of interested. He is in front of the Pink  Floyd collection when Jens sees the 80’s music video customer put a  record inside his jacket. He actually kind of forgot that this person  was still in his shop and any kind of distraction in form of   internationally known, beautiful actors leave his mind when he goes to   deal with the thief. He walks up to him, clears his throat and taps him on the shoulder to turn around.

“I saw that you put the record   under your jacket, so either you are going to pay for that now or you   put it back, leave this shop right now and preferably never come back.”

Niels  Destadsbader guy looks at him with the dumbest expression Jens has ever  seen on another human being, while getting the record out of his   jacket. “I was going to pay for it later.”

Jens just scoffs,   snatches the record out of the guy’s hand and says: “Just leave man, I   don’t want you in my shop.” With that he walks back to the register   where the other customer is already waiting. Right. Lucas van der   Heijden was still in his shop, probably witnessed this whole mess and   looks like he wants to buy the Wish you were here album by Pink Floyd.

Jens  doesn’t notice that the thief follows him to the register and is now   looking awestruck at Lucas. But the actor doesn’t seem to notice as he   looks at Jens with wide eyes and their gazes meet for the first time. As  cliché as it sounds, Jens kind of forgets everything around him for a while and is unable to look away from the depth of Lucas’s ocean blue   eyes until a voice pulls him from his trance.

“Can I have your autograph?”

Lucas  seems slightly taken aback for a moment, glances at Jens once more with  an expression of disbelief but then turns with a charming smile towards  the guy who tried to steal from him just now. Jens honestly has no idea  what’s going on right now and can’t help but to continue looking at  Lucas.

“Sure. What’s your name?” Lucas continues to smile at the  thief and Jens is a little pissed that he is being so nice to the guy  who wanted to steal from him.

“Derek.”

“Well, Derek. Do you have something I can sign?”

Derek  scrambles for something in his pocket and gives Lucas a small book   which he opens on the first page along with a pen. Jens has a pretty   good view from where he is standing in front of Lucas behind the   register and can’t resist to have a look at what Lucas is writing. It’s pretty obvious that he is watching and he thinks he sees Lucas nudge the  book more in his direction to see it even better.

You’re an asshole, Derek. I hope your ridiculous hair cut makes it impossible for you to ever get laid.

Sincerely, Lucas van der Heijden

Jens can barely hold back the laughter when Lucas gives the book  back to Derek with a charming smile, who reads it, looks up with an even  dumber expression than the one when Jens confronted him, stutters a  “Thanks” and basically runs from the shop. Jens looks after Derek when  he leaves but notices that Lucas’ gaze is still on him. Jens turns his  attention back to him who looks like he can barely contain his smile,  their eyes meet again and just like that both of them break out laughing  while looking at each other.

Jens has heard Lucas laugh before.  Only in his movies of course but even there it sounded beautiful to  Jens. It doesn’t compare to hearing and seeing it right in front of him  and he has to refrain himself from ogling Lucas. He is sure that he has  enough of that in his life, which is probably why he came to the shop in  the first place, to hide.

Their laughing winds down and Lucas is  the first to speak, smile remaining wide on his face. “Well, that was   surely something. Do you think he will sell it on Ebay now?”

Jens  can’t help but snort and shake his head in disbelief. “If he wants to keep the last of his dignity it would be smart for him if he didn’t.”

“Yeah,  he didn’t really make the smartest impression to me, to be honest.”   Jens laughs again but doesn’t know what to say apart from “No, not   really huh”. Lucas fixates him with a curious gaze and stretches his   hand towards Jens. “I’m Lucas.”

Jens stares dumbly at the offered  hand and then up into Lucas’s face whose curious expression changed   into an amused one. After a few seconds too late Jens finally raises his  own hand to shake Lucas’s and tries to ignore the pleasant shiver that  runs down his spine when his fingers embrace the soft skin of Lucas’s hand.

“I’m Jens.” Lucas’s smile widens even more and he squeezes  Jens’s hand once more before letting it go. “Very pleased to meet you,  Jens.” And Jens never wants to hear someone else say his name ever   again, because from now on Jens only wants to hear his name when it is   leaving Lucas’s lips.

Jens doesn’t know what to say other than a stupid “Likewise” and it seems that this is the end of his conversation  with Lucas van der Heijden. The actor clears his throat, looks down at  the record he put down on the register and says: “I’d like to buy this  please.”

“Yeah right, of course, sorry.” Jens seems to have lost  his chill completely and curses himself in his head for it. Lucas is  just another customer, just because he is a world known actor and the  most beautiful man Jens has ever seen doesn’t mean that he should treat  him any different. Lucas probably has enough of those people in his  life. He scans the vinyl record of Wish you were here and tells Lucas his total. He pays, Jens bags it for him and with a last “Goodbye, Jens” Lucas freaking van der Heijden has left his shop and Jens’s life, probably forever.

When  Sander comes back from his break, smiling his Robbe induced smile Jens  still hasn’t moved from his place behind the counter. He sits there with  a stunned expression because what the actual fuck just happened.

[hanniiesuckle17]

i would like to bless your followers and dash, sooo can you give me a crash course in noir 😊😊

OMG YES OFCCCCCC💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

OKAY SO HERE IS THE DEAL

NOIR is a nine-member boy group under Luk Factory

(Not really pleased with how they are promoting my boys but imma get over it one day!)

Our fan name is Lumiere (or Lumi) and we don’t have any official colors or a lightstick yet.

Noir debuted on April 9th of 2018. With the mini-album Twenty’s Noir. Their title debut song was Gansta (SUCHA GOOD VIDEO) 

They also had a predebut song called As a Star and it makes me so soft.

Their next comeback is on the 27th (THIS MONDAY!!!!!!) The album is called Up the Sky and the title track is called Lucifer

IM SO FUCKING EXCITED YOU HAVE NO IDEA

MEMBERS 

Shin Seunghoon

Shin Seunghoon is our precious leader!!!! 

(He was what got me into Noir. I saw a video about the best leaders in kpop and I was like)

He is 27 years old. His birthday is May 30th, 1993 (He is a Gemini)

Boy is tallllllllllllllllllllll

like he’s 5′10.

but in pictures by himself he for real looks like he is 6′2

istg he is like 65% legs.

ALSO MAN AS A RIPPED CHEST SORRY BACK TO REGULARLY SCHEDULED NOIRING

He is the leader, main rapper, and also sometimes a vocalist (but the rappers in this group pretty much fo everything)

HE SPITS FIRE when he wants to. 

Really good at freestyling 

He makes mixtapes on youtube on Noir’s channel. (I think he has 5 out now)

He is a college-educated man!!!! (He went to Korean National Open University

He took taekwondo when he was younger

The man trained for 8 years

He and Hoyeon compose and format a lot of their songs with a team of producers from LUK

(I often think he and Chan from skz are really similar.)

Seunghoon is legit a father of 8 soft crackhead kids. istg he is so done with them most of the time

We call him our koala because he looks like one <3

Seunghoon is obsessed with accessories and wearing them to the point where stylists literally have to take them off of him. (I have never not seen picture of him not wearing jewelry. )

he is actually in the military right now and i miss him so fricking much TT

All in all hot boy on screen and soft dad in real life

Kim Yeonkuk

this boy I cant

Kim Yeonkuk. Damn.

he was on Produce 101 season 2

he was eliminated on ep.5 :(

He is the lead dancer and a vocalist

Yeonkuk is 25 years old. His birthday is February 8, 1995 (An Aquarius)

is totally the aegyo king but denies it

he seems cold at first but has a big ass bright personality its so freakin adorable

my personal favorite clip of him is and the boys dancing around on vlive to big bang and him saying fantastic baby (its sounds so cute when he says it)

He is also a 5′10 tall boy

he trained for 3 years

THIS BOY IS SO FREAKING SKINNY SOMEONE PLEASE EGIVE HIM A HAMBURGER OR SOMETHING TAKE HIM TO TACO BELL

not kidding

his waist is so fucking small its scary.

Yeonkuk=stringbean

literally a walking meme.

pause in any interview and he is pretty much gonna give you a memeable face

this boy is so loveable and goofy 

also if this boy doesn't post like 8 photos of him doing something on insta im convinced he thinks that it just didn’t happen

he never posts just one photo its always like 6-8

also I was highkey afraid he was gonna go bald last comeback when they legit turned his hair into smurfs pubes

Lee Junyong

Lee Junyong. When i say i love this man with my whole heart

also 25 years old

his birthday is March 1st 1995 (Pisces)

another 5′10 king

Main vocalist.

he is a former member of INX

his brother is Seungyong from N.CUS

he trained for 4 years

THIS MAN IS TOO ATTRACTIVE FOR THIS EARTH

vocals for days. VOCALS.FOR.DAYS.

Did a cover of BTS’s The Truth Untold with Siha and literally gives me chills.

He has little crooked front teeth so when he sings he has this tiny little breath in some of the words so his voice is even more distinct

BUT LIKE JUNYONG HAS THE CUTEST SMILE EVER (I love his teeth in that's a weird thing to say but i think they are so cute)

he is 1/2 of the Highnote Belting Club

talks. all. the. freaking. time.

he goes live alot

boy is obsessed with Yunsung someone save yunsung from him

total crackhead when not doing real interviews

never fails to make me smile

he is said to be the moodmaker of the group

APPARENTLY HE WAS IN ONE EPISODE OF MY FAVORITE DRAMA AND I HAD NO IDEA

he was in episode 6 of The Liar and His Lover

overall he is just so sweet and funny and its so easy to love him

Nam Yunsung

Yunsung is the Lead vocalist and Visual

24 years old His birthday is August 29, 1996

He is a virgooo

MAN IS 6FT EVEN

lead vocalist and LOOKS IT

he is the king of intense eye contact with the camera 

he looks like legit prince charming

2/2 of Highnote Belting Club

weird af

istg he is the biggest crackhead

very extra. (as you can see in gif)

he calls himself a vampire because of his super pale skin

he trained for 4 years

he raps part time

HE ACTUALLY ENJOYS EXCERCISE

he hides snack between his bed and the wall but apparently daewon and junyong steal them

I think he rooms with junyong? not sure

Someone save him from junyong. boy is going to be smothered to death

ngl their relationship is really cute

he was also in Produce 101 S2 but left bc of health issues.

cutest thing ever and then turns into a devil onstage

a literal puppy

he is big fan of ateez and he and another member actually went to the groups first concert in korea

he is just so precious and weird 

Kim Siheon

oml this smol bean

Kim Siheon god damn

He is 23 years old

Birthday is December 23, 1997 (Capricorn like meeeee)

also 5′10 babyy

Vocalist but also a rapper (he rapped suga’s part in their remix of BTS Fake Love)

LIKES TO BIAS WREKC FREAKING EVERYONE

Beware the Siheon

He has a hot older sister, Hanbit, from a group called Hot Place (Their debut song is called TMI and its pretty good.)

HOTNESS RUNS IN HIS FAMILY

he trained for 5 months

he really likes drawing and does caricatures of his members

he is the eyebrow king

idk his eyesbrows are just.... 

stylists do things to his eyebrows anf it just fucks everyone up

high key has the best fashion sense

others boys willshow up to vlive in like hoodies and he is wearing a freakin casual suit

BOY PLAYS TO WIN’

he is like a boss at every kind of game

claims himself to be sweet like “Heonie”

“Hi! I’m siheon! Heonie Heonie Siheonie!”

he is a litter quieter than the other guys 

BUT he is so funny 

he doesn't like spice on his food for some reason

yeah he's crazy

he trained for 5 years

he's just precious and hot and hot and really hot

Ryu Hoyeon

THIS MAN HAS GIVEN ME SO MANY PROBLEMS

Ryu Hoyeon.

So he is my bias wrecker. Boy climbed up my bias list so freaking fast

He is the main dancer, vocalist, and a rapper (he also composes and arranges with Seunghoon)

He is 22 years old

His birthday is February 6, 1998 (Aquarius)

anontherrrrr 5′10 babbyyyy

cheekkkkkbooonnneeeessss

SHARK BOYY

He says he looks like a shark and i agree

HE HAS A NICE FUCKING TORSO

There was a predebut photo of him half shirtless it was awesome

he was also on Produce 101 S2 

eliminated on ep.5 :(

he trained for 2 years

He, yeonkuk, and seunghoon were in the Japanese tour of the musical Altar Boyz with Teen top’s Niel,2PM’s Chansung, and many others

he has a semi viral video of him

when he was a trainee / on produce 101 he was dancing to nct127 cherry bomb and had an unfortunate but quite hilarious accident (just look it up its funny)

sucks ass at games. every game. ever.

he is a low-key crackhead. he is a calm crackhead lol

VERY ATTRACTIVE

he used to have a youtube channel

you can still see his insta (leaderyoo) its so freaking cute and has predebut stuff of all the boys

he made their entire remix of fake love

he choreographed their song Diamond and also their cover of Taki Taki (which was very hot)

becomes a beast when dancing

he has an original chore to WEight in Gold that is very.......(insert eyebrow wiggle here)

has that dorito torso

(tiny waist and broad shoulders)

also thighs god damn

He is also a HUGE Vixx fanboy

Alter ego is DJ Ironman

He is very close with Siha, Siheon, and Yeonkuk

they turned him into a traffic cone for the Doom Doom comeback

he speaks a little bit of English (just a little bit)

all in all I'm completely in love with this man

Yang Siha 

THIS MAN IS SO FINEEEEEEE (he's my bias btw I have never been so in love with a man other than jisung)

Yang Siha is just uugghghhh god damn

22 year old babyyyy

Birthday is March 9, 1998 (Pisces)

Lil baby is 5′7″ oml i love him

MAIN VOCALIST AND DESERVES IT

he likes watching youtube videos and anime

He trained for 1 year and 1/2

looks good in every freaking hair color

his voice does NOT MATHC HIS FACE 

but not like in a Felix level way

He says his most attractive features are his “feminine features” (he says his unpronounced Adams apple and his small noes and doe eyes

HE HAS SMOL EARSSSS and i lovethem

close with Hoyeon and Siheon

but like his voice though

its so freaking pretty

it gives me chills

everything about him is perfect

he has tiny lips lol

he can play guitar

legit i swear his entire closet is black he rarely wears color

legit EVERYONE LOVES HIM

if someone is hugging anyone in a vlive or something

its siha

its always siha

everyone cuddles siha

i wanna cuddle siha. fuck.

for some reason I've just noticed this

the boy likes to wear long sleeves idk why

he also always seems to wear this one necklace Idk why but its so pretty and i really love that he does idk

he says his favorite song by NOIR is Travel (its also my favorite. its on their debut album and omg his part <3)

he is just so pure oml everything he posts on insta just makes me so soft

he is just so freakin cute and makes me switch lanes so fast

Kim Minhyuk

ooooof this cutie

Kim Minhyuk is something else

i just don't know what he is lol

Lead rapper and lead dancer

22 years old

His birthday is March 18th, 1998 (Pisces)

5′11 boy yes sir

ALSO A COLLEGE EDUCATED MAN

He went to Seoul Arts College

he has an older brother

apparently he cooks in the dorms

he trained for 1 year

he likes to play basketball

he really loves taking photos on his camera

he HATES bugs. its kind of funny ngl

he also is deathly afraid of balloons (i will not apologize for laughing at this one)

He and yunsung loooove ateez. they went to their first concert.

HE SERVES LOOOOKKKSSS

I think he is the most versatile member (look wise) because sometimes its hard to recognize him with each comeback because they change his style

he has these really cute big circle glasses he wear and just uwu

he kinda looks like Simon or Theodore from Alvin in the chipmunks in the best way.

he has a thing about jumping

like whenever he gets excited or happy he just starts jumping

he smiles like sunshineeeeee

even though he is the second youngest a lot of the members say that they go to him for advice 

(probably cause he has permanent hold of one of the 3 braincells noir has)

he looooves girl group dances 

especially twice 

TIKTOK KING 

He owns Noir’s tiktok pretty much. also their insta

he's a precious chipmunk

Kim Daewon

Thhis baby oml

Kim Daewon is the cutest thing since that fluffy little dog whose name i cant remember

20 years old 

Birthday is April 18th, 2000 (Aries)

Lead Dancer, vocalist, maknae

PROTEC THIS BABY BOY

In pictures he looks tall af

actually...

5′7″ but looks like 5′4″

the cutest thing everrrrr

HIS CHEEEKS

the biggest fluffiest cutest cheeks

everything about him is smol except for them thighssss

trained for 1 year

he has one older sister

THE BOY NEEDS MORE LINESSSS LUK FACTORY GIVE HIM MORE LINESSSSSS

he goes off in the chorus of their b-side track “Between” though like fuuuuuuucccckkkk (lowkey one of my favorite songs by them)

literally one of the funniest people you will ever see

extra crackhead energy

makes all the boys laugh

he loves chicken and snacks (gotta keep those cheeks in top shape)

literally the softest boy

he's good at everything i swear

he likes to shimmy.

has a cute butt lol

he talks in tiny

literally the cutest maknae ever oml

I hope this helped guys!!!!! I really hope you can stan noir and support them in their comeback this Monday! I hope this helped @distrikt9 if you need videos or anything feel free to ask! I love sharing my boys. They really are so underrated. I did this so fast ngl. I've never typed so fast

[romancing-lady-whistledown]

Just wanted to comment on your last post - there was no frustration and drama for me when I was watching Elu and Skam and Skam France before I made the huge error of looking for the fandom and joining it. Now I realise it was a big mistake, I have to constantly block people on Tweeter for hating on my faves and I've come to really hate another remake which I only didn't care about before having to deal with its stans. So I totally understand what you're saying. Me, I wish I'd never joined.

So this got long af so I’m gonna put it under the cut lol

Oh I absolutely feel you, when I say frustration and drama, I am refering to the live-watching experience and all the fandom drama that comes with that. I have a very polarizing feeling about being in the online fandom personally. For me the positive aspects have been so big that I can’t say that I wish I’d never joined personally, but especially if the positive aspects I’ve experienced haven’t been part of your fandom-experience I definitely see how you can get to the point where you wish you never joined in the first place, especially in the past year, because the negative aspects...they’re rough, and they do make the experience of the actual show different from if you just watched it on your own or you watched it as a casual viewer in the country it’s airing in, rather than as a part of the fandom on Tumblr and/or Twitter.  

I watched the original Skam as a casual Norwegian viewer, I was in a Facebook-group with other casual Norwegian viewers, there was never any drama about anything, not the clips, not the characters, not the actors and not the creators of the show. It was just watching the clips, often someone commenting about how the clip was cute, funny, sad ect, and then everybody moved on with their day. There would sometimes be a thread with questions like “Where do you think William is?” or “What do you think is up with Even?”, but it was always very casual. Sometimes I think the online fandom forget that the majority of the remake-viewers are the casual local viewers, the ones who only casually watch that one remake as a show on it’s own, not as a part of the “Skamverse”. The international Twitter/Tumblr-fandom is just a little part of the people watching the show and the opinions we see here don’t necessairily reflect those of the more casual audience (as one can often see in for example reaction-videos on Youtube where the reactors watch alot of shows at the same time and might not even blink at something that might’ve been a big deal in the online fandom). 

Being a casual viewer worked so well for me with Skam, the whole viewing experience was very chill and enjoyable. I did the same thing with Skam France S1 and S2, I watched the first episode of every remake, and Skam France was the only one I felt compelled to continue watching. It wasn’t the most exciting experience plotwise since it was just the exact same as the og, but I love the cast, I love the French language and it was overall pleasant and fun enough that I kept watching both seasons all the way through. As someone who has no attention span for TV-shows, the fact that they did keep my attention without anyone to push me to keep watching is enough for me to not concider them bad in the way alot of people do. Not very exciting after having watched the og, sure. Do I prefer the og S1 and S2? Yes. But bad? I personally wouldn’t say that. If I came into the fandom before I started watching on my own I know I would’ve been told to either skip S1 and S2 or skip Skam France altogether, and that obviously wouldn’t have been very good advice in my case, although it might be for someone else. That is why, when someone shows up on Tumblr saying they wanna start watching the remakes and ask for advice, I never ever tell them not to watch a remake. I could be robbing them of something that might deeply touch them, just because it didn’t touch me. 

This brings us into one of the aspects of being in the online fandom that can be both really positive and really negative, that being the way it can affect your experience of the show itself. On the positive note, there’s no way I could’ve gone through Skam France S3 in the casual way I went through the original Skam or S1 and S2 of Skamfr. No way. Having someone to talk to about all the amazing moments with was an actual need for me. Hell, two years later and I still need that. Not to mention the fan art and fics that has kept Elu alive for me ever since S3. There was this whole detective-work in the fandom about finding Eliott’s Instagram during S3, finding out about the Instagram-posts David and Niels made about the S3 clips, being in the online fandom actually added to the experience of watching S3 for me, and even now almost two years after S3 I’m left with some actual friends, friends that aren’t even in the fandom anymore but who I still talk to almost daily, as well as some lovely bloggers who are still invlolved in the fandom and who’s blogs I prefer to visit rather than visiting the tag.

But then there’s the negative side of this. While being in the online fandom certainly can add to the experience, it can also affect it negatively. That was what happened with S5 and S6 for me, to the point where I had to switch between staying completely off Tumblr and delete the Twitter app from my phone. While S5 had a couple of plotlines I didn’t like, it also had alot of amazing moments when it actually was dealing with the main theme of the season. S6 did not give their plotlines the proper exploration and conclusion they deserved, but on the other hand the reason why that was so frustrating to me was because I found those plotlines so interesting and actually wanted to see them explored properly. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have cared if the plotlines were dropped out of nowhere, like ofc it would’ve been weird but if the whole Tiff-plot suddenly disappeared I wouldn’t complain. While they were flawed and nowhere near the level of S3 for me, I did enjoy so many of the clips and Skamfr S3, S5 and S6 are the only remake-seasons I have downloaded on my computer knowing I will rewatch them regularily. If I didn’t overall enjoy them, I wouldn’t wanna rewatch them. I don’t hate-watch anything. I could barely get through Skamfr S4 (a season I genuinely didn’t like) and I could not get through Wtfock S4, (which I liked even less). So the flaws Skamfr S5 and S6 had didn’t turn the seasons as a whole into trash for me, but I know they did for alot of people and going to the tags while in the middle of the live-watching experience couldn’t just be a bummer, it could almost transfer some feelings and opinions that weren’t my own onto me just from seeing them repeated so many times. I appreciate nuanced discussion, which does include constructive criticism, and there was alot of that too, but there were also alot of posts that I would not concider that. In this case, when I got some time and distance away from the live-watching experience and got the space to think for myself, I realized that as often is the case, my feelings about the seasons weren’t black and white, or in this case, masterpiece vs trash. Yes, I don’t like certain plotpoints (like the love triangle and car-scene from S5 or the Tiff-plot and the overly rushed conclusions to the otherwise interesting plotlines in S6), but that doesn’t mean that I personally think S5 or S6 as a whole are trash, not when the good episodes and clips were as good as they were to me personally. The online fandom experience has also, just like for you, completely turned me off from another remake that I otherwise felt neutral about and at one point even liked, which really is a shame.

So yeah this turned into a long ass essay just to say, the online fandom-experience is a true mixed bag for me. Although the positive experiences I’m taking from it, mainly the lovely and talented people, the friends I made and the full Skam France S3 experience, ultimately made it worth it for me, I can totally see how, especially if you didn’t have those experiences, you would simply wish you never joined. When it’s a pain, it’s a pain.

[ghostsray]

Ch1: Eyes

(i have decided to use this year’s dannymay prompts to write all about my clone oc niel, because why the heck not, im pretty invested in him so far. i wasnt sure if this was worth it since only a few people showed interest in him, except those who did were REALLY interested, so this is for you 😘)

(also on ao3!)

(next)

Vlad was hosting some rich club party, which was why the hall was filled with swarms of boring adult millionaires milling about. Niel stood in the corner, wearing a trimmed suit (which he didn't mind), trying his best not to interact with the many strangers in the room (whom he did mind). His dad had made him greet their guests, and all of them ogled the son of the mayor like he was an exotic pet. Niel decided that even though he was one of them, he didn't like rich people very much. So here he was, standing against the wall, trying his best to seem invisible without actually turning invisible.

Apparently, he was still noticeable, because someone said, "You're Niel, right?"

Niel would have considered fleeing, but he realized the person had called him by his chosen name, and not Daniel like his dad always introduced him as. He looked up and held his breath as he came face to face with a teenage girl wearing the most intense black makeup he had ever seen.

She looked around sixteen, Danny's age, and had black hair and purple eyes. For some reason, she was wearing a frilly pink dress, the exact opposite of her spiked hair and angry black eyeliner.

The frankly intimidating girl scrutinized Niel with her violet eyes and said, "Wow, you really do look just like Danny. Except for the eyes. Yours are a bit darker."

It had come to Niel's attention that this was the first girl close to his age that he had interacted with. He attempted to keep his teenage hormones in control and straightened himself, trying to look professional.

"You're one of Danny's friends?" he guessed.

The girl smirked and stuck out a hand. "Sam Manson," she introduced herself.

Her nails were painted black, like the rest of her makeup. Niel shook her hand, then yelped as she tugged him across the room. "Where are we going?"

"I'm bored," she said simply, like that answered everything. She looked at him with half-lidded eyes. He wondered if she was wearing contacts, because those eyes were really purple and really prett--

Control yourself, Niel chastised himself. He didn't know much about Danny's friends, but for what he did know, this girl could be Danny's girlfriend. He didn't want to date Danny's girlfriend.

"You live in this mansion, right?" Sam spoke, shaking him out of his thoughts. "Don't you know anyplace we can hang out away from all these adults?"

"Dad told me I should stay around."

"And you actually listen to your parents?"

Wow, those eyes are really pretty--but he shook that thought away. He gulped and looked over his shoulder to where Vlad was standing, talking with some people about boring money stuff. Niel might have enjoyed spending money, but he didn't care about hearing about stocks and bonds or whatever, which he guessed everyone in this room enjoyed chatting about.

Vlad didn't glance in his direction at all. He probably wouldn't have noticed it if Niel decided to leave for the airport right then.

He turned back to Sam, who was still waiting for a reply. He smiled and said, "We can go to my bedroom upstairs." Then he realized the implication of that, blushed and quickly added, "To hang out, of course. Nothing lewd or anything."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "To be honest, I didn't think you'd know what lewd even means. Aren't you, like, a few months old?"

Niel frowned. Why did everyone who knew about his clone status always enjoy bringing up his age?

"I read," Niel retorted. "I've read some things in Vlad's library."

"Wow. I'm pretty sure that has to be, like, illegal or something. Vlad lets you read that stuff?"

"Vlad doesn't care about me," Niel said, then felt a sharp pang in his core. He wondered how his past self would have reacted if he told him that. Niel had always looked up to his dad, but that was probably because he was the only person he knew, and also before he talked to Danny and learned about...Danielle.

Sam watched him quietly. "So," she finally said, "upstairs?"

Niel nodded and forced a smile on his face. He led her to the mansion's stairway and up the steps until they reached his room.

Sam whistled when she saw the large flatscreen TV and gaming consoles that spread across the wall. "Nice gameset," she said. "I don't know why I'm surprised. Danny would have bought the exact same stuff if he were rich."

There she went again, comparing him to Danny. He figured it made sense, considering Danny was her friend and he was his clone, but Niel still found himself sulking as he sat on his king-size bed.

"Those are just dumb gifts from my dad," he grumbled. "Aren't you rich, too?"

Sam shrugged. "My parents are rich, all right, but they don't really like allowing me to buy anything. It's dumb. I'm old enough to take care of myself." She rolled her eyes and said, "Parents, am I right?"

Niel crossed his arms and watched her wander around his room. "You know I'm a clone of your friend, but you're treating me normally."

"How do you want me to treat you?" She threw her hands up in front of her melodramatically and said in a bland tone, "Ahh, a genetic double of my best friend created by his arch nemesis. He must be eeeviiillll."

Niel's lips tugged upward at Sam's acting. She smiled and said, "Danny told me about you. You don't sound scary at all."

Niel rubbed his neck. "He talks about me? Does he think I'm weird?"

"A guy who wears expensive suits to sleep? Of course he thinks you're weird."

"I don't...I mean, doesn't he find it weird that I'm his clone?"

Sam plopped next to him on his bed. Her dress was crumpled, but she apparently didn't care about that. "Dude, you aren't the first clone of Danny. We're all pretty used to the whole clone idea from Danielle."

"Yeah, but Danielle is..."

"A girl?"

"...different."

Sam leaned on an elbow and asked, "You're saying you aren't? Heck, you're probably more genetically different than her from Danny, if you really have Vlad's DNA in you."

Niel looked down sullenly. "I wish Dad thinks that."

Sam's eyebrows lowered. "The way Danny told it, I thought you basically extolled Vlad."

Niel sighed. "I thought he cared about me...then I realized he only likes me because I look like Danny." He shrunk in on himself and added, "That probably sounds stupid, doesn't it? I'm a clone of Danny, of course I'm supposed to be like him."

"Absolutely not," Sam said, and she said it with such resolution that Niel looked up in surprise. She got off the bed and placed her hands on her hips. "Sure, you're genetically similar to Danny, but genes should never dictate how you're treated if you don't want it that way."

"Um, okay," Niel said, a little put off by how ambitious she sounded about the subject. His shoulders drooped, and he added, "But Vlad..."

"Vlad thinks you're just like Danny? Then prove to him that you aren't."

"How?"

Sam smirked and gestured down at her dress. "You like my look?"

"It's...an interesting choice of wardrobe," Niel said.

"I didn't pick the dress; my mom did. She always wants me to be all proper and feminine and whatever. I figured I might as well humor her this time, but just because I agreed to wear her dumb dress doesn't mean I have to look the way she wants me to." She gestured to her makeup and said with a grin, "I found a way to remind them of who I really am. Wearing a dress they picked for me will never change that."

Niel observed her dress and makeup more closely. He had to admit, that was a pretty clever loophole. Still. "You're saying I should wear goth makeup?"

"That wasn't exactly what I was trying to say...but why not? You're already wearing eyeliner," she said and brought a hand forward to poke at the black ink surrounding his eyes. He flinched away and blushed.

"I think they bring out my eyes," he said defensively.

"They do," Sam agreed, appreciating his makeup work. He did feel pretty proud of that. "But if you add a little more, then they'll pop out so much, your dad will have no choice but to turn his eyes toward you."

"You really think dressing like you will change his mind?"

"Not necessarily," she admitted. "But it will definitely shock him, at least."

Shock him. For some reason, Niel liked the idea of that. He looked at Sam's wild makeup and spiked hair again and hesitated.

Sam noticed and said with a smirk, "What's wrong? Is the goth look too scary for you?"

Niel huffed and straightened himself. "I've read Dracula, Frankenstein, and most other classic works of horror literature. I'm not scared by goth."

"Then prove it," Sam challenged with a serious expression, but that was quickly broken by the smile that spread over her face.

Niel smiled back.

.

The Mansons, Vlad decided, were useless. The only reason the couple were rich was because one of their parents had invented that twirling toothbrush, but when it came to doing work, they didn't know a thing about money.

Vlad was almost glad when that goth girl Danny always hung out with came up to them. He was getting bored from hearing her mother drone about some salon she went to.

"Hey there, Mom and Dad. Hey there, Fruitloop."

Vlad's mouth twitched. It seemed that Daniel (Fenton, not his son Daniel) must have thought it funny to get his friends to use his annoying nickname for Vlad. The mayor hid his irritation under a smile and said, "Why, if it isn't Fenton's female friend."

"Hey, I'm your son's friend now, too."

Vlad raised an eyebrow. The girl was grinning now. He realized someone was hiding behind her back.

"Daniel?" he asked.

Sam stepped aside with her arms out and said, "Say hello to the real Niel!"

Vlad choked. It was Daniel, all right, but--"What happened to your hair?!"

His oh-so-perfect creation was wearing eyeliner so thick it made his eyes look like black holes, and was that also lipstick on his lips? He was fairly sure he didn't own any lipstick of that dark shade, which meant he must have borrowed it from the Manson girl. And his hair. It was tousled up and--oh Ancients--shaved on one side.

"Hello, father," he said in a sulky voice, and Vlad wondered if he had practiced that tone with Manson before coming to them.

Speaking of Manson, her parents looked moritified. Pamela chuckled nervously and said, "I'm so sorry about that, Mister Masters." She shot her daughter a glare, but Sam just responded with a cheeky grin.

Vlad coughed, loudly, before he regained himself. "It's all right," he told Pamela, but he glared at Daniel. "Excuse us. Daniel, could you come speak with me somewhere private?"

Daniel's expression seemed to morph into worry for a split second, but Sam sent him a reassuring smile, and he relaxed. Vlad frowned. He would have to be careful about letting the two interact in the future.

Daniel followed him out the hall and into an empty hallway. Vlad stopped and stood over him.

He took in a deep breath, held it for a moment, then said as gently as possible, "What the sweet butter biscuits, Daniel?"

"It's Niel," his son muttered, and this time his broodiness didn't seem practiced.

Vlad frowned. He didn't know why Daniel was so insistent on that nickname. It wasn't even spelled correctly--the E should come before the I, and Neil isn't really a nickname one would expect to come from Daniel. "Yes, I believe you've told me that before," Vlad muttered, "but--"

"But you never get it, do you?" He crossed his arms and growled, "You keep naming me after Danny."

There was that angry tone again. He had no idea why, but Daniel had been less than friendly to him ever since that night in the restaurant...

Vlad scowled and informed him, "Of course I would. You're his clone."

"But I don't want to be." He was avoiding Vlad's gaze now, and Vlad thought he heard something in his tone besides anger...sadness. "That's the thing, Dad. I have his genes, but I'm not Danny. And I--I just want to be your son, not your creation."

"That's absurd. You're my son because you're my creation."

The boy flinched. Vlad realized he must be serious about wanting to differentiate himself from Danny.

He wasn't sure how to feel about that. He had guessed, since he used some of his own DNA to stabilize him during the cloning process, that Daniel would end up a little different from Danny, but the boy was beginning to seem even more rebellious than Danielle had been. At the rate this was going, he wouldn't be surprised if he were to follow his sister's example and run away...

Vlad sighed deeply. "Dan--...Niel," he corrected himself. The teen looked up at him in surprise as he continued, "I don't care if you're different from Danny. To be truthful, the only reason I had wanted him as my son so badly was because he's a hybrid, like me. I wanted an apprentice who can relate to my struggle, and Danny happened to provide the perfect blueprint. But I know you're not him, Niel, and I don't mind. You're still my son."

Niel blinked rapidly. Vlad's words must have deeply affected him, because black lines of ink ran down his cheeks where the tears spoiled his makeup. In a choked up voice, Niel said, "You called me by my name."

Was he really this emotional over a name? If Vlad had known, he would have called him by his silly nickname sooner. Niel shuffled to Vlad and enveloped him in a hug.

Vlad forced himself to push down his dislike of being touched and instead patted Niel in what he hoped was an affectionate manner. "That's right, son. Now can you get off me? I think your makeup is coming on my shirt."

Niel sniffed and tore himself away. "Sorry," he mumbled. He looked up at Vlad with glossy eyes, and Vlad was once again struck by how similar they were to his own, and how different they were from Danny's. "Did you really mean all that?"

Vlad wore a smile and said, "Of course. I would never want to be rid of such a perfect halfa like you."

Niel grinned. Good. The boy was happy, which meant Vlad could be content in knowing he won't run away like his other failed clone.

"Run along, now," Vlad told him now that their emotional conversation was over. "Oh, but wipe away that eyeliner first. You look like a blasted raccoon."

"Yes, Dad," Niel said happily and scurried off. Vlad looked down at his suit and wrinkled his nose at the tearstains that muddled his shirt.

At least Niel was no longer angry at him. That manson girl seemed like trouble, though, and Vlad didn't like how close the two teens appear to have become. He spent the rest of the day watching Niel with one eye, just in case.

[fan-think]

SKAM FRANCE PROJECTION -  Q&A RECAP

I wasn’t sure I wanted to write a description of the Skam France projection in Paris because I knew it would be so long ; but we were so privileged with all those informations that I though I needed to share with you some of it. And also for myself, so that I don’t forget this day.  I’m just gonna keep a few details to respect the kindness and sincerity they had for our little audience, and I don’t feel confortable repeating to hundreds (or thousands) without their consent. Important note : I didn’t take notes, I’m not a machine so I don’t remember everything, I don’t remember what they said word by word, so, I’m sorry if some quotes or meanings are a bit inaccurate. I tried my best, please don’t hold it against me.... :) Now, lets begin this VERY LONG recap. I’M SORRY !! 

We arrived a bit before 5pm, and people were waiting in line outside. The movie theater didn’t open before 5. Somehow, while waiting peacefully, we saw the cast and crew arriving just in front of the theater, greeting each other and talking together, like a reunion. That was nice. Marilyn came to us and greeted some people waiting as well.  Then we went in the theater, were handed a flyer/postal card (see at the end) of the Skam cast, and headed to the cinema. The crew and actors were already seated. We all sat, then David (the director) came on stage with some people from the production, France TV and Niels Rahou (main screenwriter). Him and David had a cute moment sharing the mic and saying I love you to each other/declaring their flames haha. What a pair ! David thanked all of them, the cast as well, we applauded (of course). Then David said : Are you ready to see Lucas and Eliott fall in love ??  We applauded loudly again, then he sat down and we started watching the first episode. We laughed a lot reacting to the funny scene or lines, and when FINALLY we saw Eliott for the first time on screen, everyone screamed and clapped. So I took a look at Maxence reaction, he has his face in his hand, kind of hiding but was smiling like crazy, that was adorable. From there, almost every time Eliott was on screen, we could here reaction in the cinema. When the episode ended, we applauded loudly. We waited 2 minutes, and the second one started. It was nice to hear people react to the jokes, we really felt connected. When Eliott appeared at the bus stop, same thing everyone screamed a bit and the next 15 minutes were intense ! I tried to take a look at Maxence pretty often during those big moments, he was smiling like crazy and hiding himself at the same time. He deserves everything. When the screen went black, we clapped, whistled and screamed a lot more, because... HEY what an experience to live ! And because we’re so grateful for everything they did obviously.  Then, the whole cast and David came on stage, David expressed his big though for Axel who couldn’t be here because he was filming a movie. Big clap for him too! Then he opened the Q&A part. Since it lasted quite a while, I’m gonna proceed with bullet points from what I remember.  • The first question was for the whole cast but more for Maxence and it was how does it feel to see yourself on screen. He answered it was kind of weird (chelou) since it’s his first role mostly...  • When ask what was their common points with their characters. Marilyn said she was a bit “motherly” like Manon. She has the tendency to tell people to be careful about what their eat, they do etc. They all agreed it was weird to speak about themselves like that, then she took the mic when Edouard (Mika) started talking and started praising him for his acting because he is the opposite of Mika, she saw him acting a couple years back and said she was so impressed that when she understood he was in Skam as well, she was really impressed and afraid to play with him. It was so nice, we applauded a lot. (The joke was that she actually added him on facebook 6 or 7 years back and he never accepted her request before Skam hahaa) For this same question, Maxence said he his a solitary/lonely person like Eliott. Lula is a workaholic, very invested in what she does and make people laugh without intending to. Assa is very similar to Imane, even if she might not have a temper as strong as Imane (but pretty much). And Léo (Yann) said he is pretty open (minded), and chill about things, people (I think.. not sure on this one) • Maxence and David explained how he was cast. David said that when they started the casting, they wanted to feel and know from the moment the actor would enter the room that it was him. But unfortunately, this feeling never came, for months... Then, the cast director called David and said she may have seen someone that could fit (at a “representation”). But she warned him that this actor had broken his ankle in the morning, so... for the “walk in the room and we know  it’s him” it was a bit compromised because of the crutches. So David and Maxence just sat down and talked, the feeling was there though, and this is how it started. Maxence then added : when he was called for the first casting interview, he didn’t want to go because he just finished his acting studies and wanted to go in vacation basically haha But then he convinced himself it would be just an exercice, so why not. Obviously it went well. Was called back for a second try, and a third try with Axel. He was in vacation when David told him he had the role. The moment he picked up the phone, a thunderbolt fell right next to him(Maxence) and David added at the theater “it was a prediction from what was about to happen” because “thunderbolt” is “foudre” in french, and when people fall in love at first sight we call it “coup de foudre” (coup = a stoke/a blow of thunderbolt)..... ❤ • During the casting call, Axel and Maxence did a scene but they incorporated the crutches situation in the scene, and it went very well. Also There was no weirdness between the two from the beginning even if Maxence said something to Axel that could have offended him. But he wasn’t and from that point, Maxence knew it was all good with Axel. He said they were lucky (I think?) that they had a such a good chemistry.   • A question was about the boys gang. Niels took the mic and made a big point on that. Saying that their reaction is normal. Here, they are teenage boys who know Lucas as there straight friend, they can not imagine or understand why he is acting now, what he has in his mind. They’ve been raised in a environment were masculinity is toxic, like any-elsewhere and we must not hold it against them because it’s reality. We (Skam viewers and lgbtq+ community) are well educated on the subject, but this is reality.  • Anne-Sophie (Chloé), David AND Niels especially made a big point on how Chloé is essential and must not be hated. She is a girl in love that is being fooled by Lucas. The only thing she does wrong in the og is outing Lucas like that, but apart from that, there is no reason to hate her. They were pretty passionate about that point.  • A recurring theme/question was about a fifth season... with (most likely from the person asking the question) Daphné. David, the head of production and a France TV representative, they all took the mic to speak about it, and the main thought was : they would love to do it because they love Skam so much BUT  because of legal reasons, of the views on Season 3 and 4, and so much more things, there is NOTHING planned on that yet... Somehow, they emphasized on how much we -the audience- matter for this kind of future. If we talk about Skam to people, if we raise the views, express how much we love it on social media etc, it might help.... So... talk about Skam France to everyone you know, and maybe, only MAYBE, we might have a change for more seasons... • Same thing with how homosexuality is usually shown in french TV. He said something like “If you’re expecting the usual kiss and then, a fade to black... No, that’s not gonna happen. We talked with France TV (the diffuser), they told us “no, you can give us all you want, we want to show a lot more”, so... since we had the images, a lot of images, we went thoroughly on that. Don’t worry for that, really ! There might be some bloopers/BTS too...” • Maxence hadn’t seen the Skam og or anything before shooting (apart from the toilet scene) because he wanted to be just like his character : he didn’t know anyone or anything of what was happening. Also, from what he saw in the toilet scene, he said he didn’t want to be like Even, it felt too “”“pushy””” and this wasn’t him or who he wanted Eliott to be. After shooting the season, he “binge-watched” everything in two days. • Now... If you are still afraid of the chemistry and the “intimate” scene. Just know that David made sure it would be realistic... that all I’m gonna say on that.  • They only had 35 days to film the two seasons!! It is extremely short. The other remakes shoot one season at a time. David emphasized on the few hours of sleep him and some of the crew had. Also, they shot around 15 minutes per day of images. It is HUGE. The work they put into the last 2 seasons is enormous. • Before staring, David thanked his wife for taking care of the kids 6 months during the year while he is filming (we clapped a LOT) • The first kiss scene was taken in one shot (correct me if I’m wrong) • Lula never wears jeans or pants, only skirts and dresses. In real life, but also on the show. • Basile falling was an improvisation from Paul, they shot it twice (I think...) • Axel doesn't play the piano, he just learned this piece for the scene (Maxence told us) and they shot the scene multiple times. • Marilyn complimented Michel on the common points questions. • Alex’ bisexuality was a random suggestion from Coline just before shooting the scene when we know about it. Easy peasy. • David and the whole team were frustrated for season 1 and 2 that they had to follow exactly the original script and lines. Even more frustrated when they saw the other remakes... • Niels was wearing a unicorn shirt, perfect  ❤  • Philippine (Emma) and Coline (Alex) told us 2 jokes.  • Lula (Daphné) is the most likely to laugh on set • They all see all your reactions, all you comments, the bad ones as well, they knew all the bad comments from season 1 and 2, knew all the pressure for season 3 and 4, so they just hope you’ll like it because they fucking love it ! :) • The journalists only saw episode 1 to 4 and the reviews are good, even if, according to Niels, they havent seen anything yet.................... so, we kind of know what to expect. Or not. Seriously, I think we’re not prepared at all.  • Neither are we for season 4 apparently... Warnings from David. Then everyone started to leave but... not really haha. The room stayed pretty full for a good 30 minutes. Personally I stayed close to David who was answering questions in a corner. I can tell you : he is SO PASSIONATE about this season, about Eliott and Lucas, his actors, it is SO heartwarming ; but above all, it confirms to me that this season has an intense depth that - in my opinion - we are NOT ready for. Outside, everyone was talking with the actors, especially Maxence, obviously... I talked with Edouard (Mika) and with Niels (the screenwriter) mostly. I just stopped Maxence who just finished talking and taking pictures with everyone to thank him, and let me just say he is an adorable sunshine. I barely started to say something, he was hugging me and he made the pictures I took with him adorable. He was jumping all around, a real ray of sunshine and kindness. Then he ran to hug David and it was the cutest thing I’ve witness that night. He must have seen me grinning like crazy at him and David, but I don’t care. It was WAY too heartwarming. They are all absolutely ADORABLE. ADORABLE !!  THANK YOU SKAM FRANCE !!!   

PS : If he agrees, I’m letting David tell the story about his child name and their request :) You’ll melt and be happy about our future. PS 2 : Thank you to Manon et Laura who helped me remember a few things. Twitter : @lau_helder

[tmarauder101]

From one to another (Sometimes one piece is all it takes) ~ Drarry Oneshot

Books have always saved Draco time and time again

HUGE THANKS TO @xx-thedarklord-xx​ for beta-ing <3<3<3<3 

When Draco was younger, he used to read.

Mountains worth of books adorned the Malfoy family library, and Draco sat, reading them for hours and hours on end. 

The house-elves would attempt to retrieve him for food and general health-related things, but he would whine, grabbing books to take with him, no matter how guilty he felt. 

Draco never liked taking books out of the library. He supposed it must be a childish thing, feeling guilty over keeping books with him instead of letting them be with their ‘family’. 

‘But what if they’re being bullied?’

It could just be the aura of the library. With its high ceilings that seemed reachable due to the bookshelves that ran from top to bottom. The windows that never caught the sun’s set or rise, because that would cast shadows and shine annoyingly in your eyes, but yet still managed to catch a warm glow that made the books seem enchanted. The chairs were the most comfortable in the manor, chosen by his mother herself when they had been refurbishing for the first time in generations. 

Draco ran circles around his parents as they personalized the manor to their tastes, giggles filling the household. The kind only an innocent child who hadn’t been touched with the hardships of reality could share, the ones that made even the toughest of adults crack a fond smile. One with warmth.

Yes, the library was Draco’s favorite place in the world. 

Draco read all the books he could—not including the boring music theory books that his private tutor tries to make him read, he hates those—soon he craved more.

All these books- about knowledge and history and theories- were fascinating, no lie! He loves each and every topic, never bored- unless it’s politics because those adults were frustrating! Just have a civil conversation for Merlin's sake, not a civil war!- and bloodlines or arithmetic, but honestly who does enjoy them?

One day, Draco had found a novel. It was his father’s, surprisingly, but he would never tell - or, at least, never tell and live. One about a—really really bad and sappy, ew—romance.

He didn’t like it, the plot was...weird. Why would the girl want a vampire? And there was a werewolf? 

Muggles were odd. 

But Draco was terrified that his father would find out, so he put the book back. 

After that he weaned off muggle fictions, opting for wizard fantasy. Things like Lockhart, because everyone with more than half a brain cell would know those books were obviously fiction. Stories of sappy—and frankly disgusting—love, A.K.A really bad romance novels—emphasis on bad—and honestly terrible mystery novels. 

He hated it.

Wizards are ironically not creative, not one bit. All the great potion masters and spell creators are ones with imagination, but for the average wizard why would they dream? They have magic, and all they want is money, want validation. 

It wasn’t what Draco was looking for. 

Draco yearned for a tale that would make him fall in love once more, having already done so twice (*cough* golden boy *cough*) before. Stories similar, not exactly like that other book, but similar. 

Muggles have such an active imagination, and their writing reflects that with metaphors and extensive vocabulary. They brought their tale to life. Much different than the bland ink on parchment the wizarding world had to offer. 

At least in the Britsh Wizarding World. Other countries are more imaginative, the East for one, with their magic carpets and extensive Divination. But he doubts Father would allow him imported books on ‘studies’, let alone novels. 

Draco wanted something that would make him feel. Make him forget. 

Stories similar to the folktales and legends, but beyond the Wizarding world. Tales to make him lost in them rather in his overactive imagination. 

He wanted something that would break him, make him hurt in all the good ways. Make him cry out internally in frustration and pain for the characters. Ones that would leave wounds and shatter the pieces left, before sticking a flimsy little plaster on it, calling it a day. 

Ones that took him to the far corners of the earth. That had him running and jumping, and diving with the fish in the deep deep sea. Chasing after criminals and crying over those lost as though they were his own. 

And one day he found them. 

~📚*📖*📚~

Honestly, it really hadn’t been his fault. He was so so very bored—he also couldn’t find that book of Father’s again, he suspected it had been burned, good riddance—waiting for mother and father to finish whatever business he pretended to care about and dragged him along for. 

Truly, he hadn’t meant to. Deep down though, he had desired to be back in the library. 

But that girl caught his eye.

Or, more specifically, the book did. 

It was worn down, very obviously one that had been used for years.

Many might believe he would find that revolting. On the contrary, Draco found it rather endearing. 

The girl had long white-blonde hair—rather similar to his actually—and an odd pair of—were those radishes?—earrings. But Draco only had eyes for the torn paperback in her hands. 

“Pardon me, what book is that?” 

She turned, large eyes as blue as the summer sky. They were soft and wise, even though she appeared to be younger than Draco himself. 

“It’s a novel, about a demon and an angel.” Her voice sounded like distant jingle bells on a snowy winter’s night.

“Oh?” he asked, eager and intrigued.

15 minutes later, they left the business party, a list of muggle novels hastily written in curly letters of sparkly mint green ink for Dobby to fetch for him, keeping a bookmark where he last left off in the worn paperback novel hidden on his person. 

~📚*📖*📚~

The leaves bled from green to red as the seasons changed. Leaving behind the warm summer breezes and long days, and replacing them with crisp autumn air and early sunsets. The years went by, times changed rapidly and as did the people. 

Draco losing to everything, to school and everything else that happened in those somewhat hellish seven years.  

But after the war, Draco lost himself, and he needed to ground himself, that little boy in a library crying out after being repressed for so long. 

So, robotically, Draco dug through his closet. In a small box, among his niffler plush—that definitely didn’t have little handmade round glasses, what do you mean?—a handmade badge from fourth year—that made him scoff and shake his head fondly—and other nicknacks from the years, carrying memories new and old, lay his most prized possession—the book that had saved him time and time again. 

Good Omens by Niel Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

But would it save him again? Only time would tell. 

~📚*📖*📚~

Years after the war left him a criminal, Draco Malfoy-Potter is now one of the Wizarding World’s famous fantasy novelists.

Draco found love in the form of one raven haired boy, just a mere 6 months after his first book. 

Not many knew how or why, at least not for a long time. 

Their love could be a story all on its own—now there's an idea.

~FIN~

[ruffiorocks]

Once Upon a Time Season 2 What the Heck?!

OK, so i have seen all of OUAT several times (well i mean ive only watched 6 and 7 once because i mean, what was that mess? Other than Curious Archer? )

But going back and watching Season 2 again, im watching without my SwanQueen goggles on! Now i know the relationship between Emma and Regina gets better, but what the hell went on in this season? Oh i am blaming mostly Emma! 

Emma effectively spends this season kidnapping Henry and keeping him from his mother! After she and Snow got back from the Enchanted Forest Regina said she would like Henry to stay a night sometime and  Emma was like ‘oh no! Thats not hat is best for him!’ Regina understandably gets mad and is like ‘You’ve been his mother for like 5 minutes?’ YES Regina! 

Emma did the right thing by bringing Henry back to Storybrooke, but she did not do the right thing by sticking around (oh i know its because of the curse etc. But Emma did not know that at the time). Emma was concerned for Henry and told Regina, who said he was seeing a shrink. That is where Emma’s involvement should have ended. But no, she decided to stick around. OK, but then she decided to keep hanging out with Henry even after his mother told her not to. Regina was right here, she had been been lenient enough to let them spend time together before banning it. Then Emma became the Sheriff and still spent time with Henry and found ways to secretly contact him and to meet with him. That is just plain weird and oh totally illegal Sheriff Swan! 

Come season 2 and Emma is still illegally keeping Henry living with her and the Charmings. I dont care that Henry thinks his mother is evil and wants to stay with Emma, that is not how a closed adoption and the law works. Emma yells at Regina twice this season that Henry is her son and NOT Regina’s! No Emma! He is Regina’s son! Just because you have learned that you are from a magical land, and have magic and you’re a princess does not erase the decision you made to give up the son that you did not want to raise (even if it was his best chance). Emma made that decision, Regina legally adopted him and raised him. Birth mothers do not get to turn up and decide to reclaim their children because they illegally formed a relationship with them. 

Now i know Regina isnt all innocent, far from i. But this season she does what she does because she is being kept fro her son. She may be wrong but had the Charmings let her see HER son they would have avoided all of the mess that happened. 

At one point Emma, David and Snow are discussing the possibility of MURDERING Regina to stop her, right in front of HENRY!! That 11 year old boy is listening to his family discuss the pro’s and cons of murdering his mother. Thankfully Henry speaks up, the only time he ever speaks up for his mother is when her life is in danger. Other than that he doesnt care about her at all. Ungrateful little s**t! Charming even threatens to shoot Hook in the face in front of Henry! Grand parent of the year award there Charming! 

Now they use the argument that Regina is evil so she shouldn't be near Henry. But Snow? Snow murders Regina’s mother! It isnt even an act of self defense. Its pre-mediated murder. She tells Charming she wants to kill Cora, she plans it with Gold and then the worst part? She doesnt even have the guts to do it herself She tricks Regina into killing her own mother under the pretense that with her heart Cora will love Regina. That is Sick!! At least Regina was always open about wanting to kill people and tended to do it herself. But this is magically forgiven for some reason? Why? Because snow is one of the self proclaimed heroes. she is a Charming and she is the mother and wife of the sheriffs! So no consequences for cold blooded murder? Snow even admits that she did it because it was easy and there were other options, she even has a black spot on her heart.But its OK for Henry to live in the same house as his murdering grandmother who tricked his mother into killing his other grandmother? 

Charming spends a good chunk of season two trying to bully Snow into going back to the Enchanted Forest, a place she just risked her life trying to get back from, She adamantly tells him she does  not want to go back, but he refuses to listen. Suddenly after she has murdered Cora she has agreed to go back, so Charming finally bullied her into it. Charming is all up for leaving Regina behind and kidnapping an already kidnapped 11 year old! To her credit Snow isnt up for that, not because its wrong and illegal mind you, its because Henry wont forgive them. So, Charming decides Regina will get a choice, stay put or go with them and live the rest of her life in Rumples old cell? They even have the gall to look surprised when this plan comes to light. Thankfully Regina was eaves dropping. No wonder she decides she has no other choice but too kill all of them. (Not excusing her, but they are bad to). I want to know why Snow isnt currently in a cell serving time for pre-mediated, cold blooded murder? Oh i know, its because she is a hero! Right and heroes are allowed at least one or two murders that can be forgiven right? 

Back to Emma, she actually does kidnap Henry and takes him with her to New York without even telling Regina! Regina has to learn her son is in New York with the birth mother that kidnapped him and is effectively holding him hostage from the Charmings?! The Charmings then tell Regina that Emma doesn't have to tell Regina where she is talking Henry????? Erm WTF? YES she does! All this from the God Damn Sherrif! Emma was raised in our realm so she knows how the bloody law works! Honesty? Regina should have called New York Police department and reported Emma! Not only that? But Emma introduces Henry to his father without Regina’s permission! All because Henry was being a demanding little sh*t as usual. She then brings his birth father back with her and allows him to spend time with Henry! She doesn’t even tell Regina who Neil is! Regina has to find out from Gold. CLOSED ADOPTION EMMA! Oh wait theres more! Emma even tries to gt Niel, the man with no legal right to  even be near Henry,is in fact a known criminal and has known him for 5 minutes to take him back to New York without even consulting Regina! i give up! I really do give up at this point. 

Emma only starts to see Regina as someone worth being alive at the end of the season when she is planning on sacrificing herself to save everyone else. Up until then the only reason they didnt kill Regina (not that they could have) was because Henry doesn’t like the idea.. Right... ‘We arent murdering our grandsons mother because he wouldn't like it, but we are still the heroes!) 

Now come season 3, straight after, Emma’s attitude has completely changed and suddenly Henry is ‘their’ son? 

Season two made no sense!   Glad to get that out of my System! 

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Introvert, Dear: Oh, Honey, No

Spoiler: I was going to do a series but honestly this one article is a goldmine. I wrote this piece as I went through the article, which I’d previously skimmed, and with every single step I found something more hilariously bad and incorrect. Please enjoy.

Introvert, Dear's website has the following options for article categories:

Since I am in fact a scientist I decided to start with one of the articles in SCIENCE, such as it may be. You may read along here.

It begins as many articles here do with a charming anecdote about the article’s author being so spacey that she fucked up a long drive-thru Starbucks line - and to buy a mocha of all things. Anyway, this is what geniuses do. Confused? Read on to the next paragraph.

For those playing along, drink at the first Einstein reference. You see, Einstein said “It’s not that I’m so smart; it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” Now, this is a great quote. However, there are two flaws. One: he was so smart. Two: introversion does not equal persistence with problems.

Anyway, introverts allegedly have a ‘penchant for deep-processing’, according to a study that says that introverts have more gray matter in their prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain the article says is associated with abstract thought and decision making.

A couple of problems here: First, staying with problems longer and decision making are at times at odds. Similarly, abstract thought is an intuitive thing, not an introvert thing, and decision making is a high Si or Ni thing, not an introvert thing. And probably most damning, here’s the article title and linked article:  Individual Differences in Amygdala-Medial Prefrontal Anatomy Link Negative Affect, Impaired Social Functioning, and Polygenic Depression Risk.

Now, fun fact: the prefrontal cortex is associated with decision-making. It’s also associated with planning complex cognitive thought (including abstract thought, but not specifically limited to that), and also social behavior moderation. The general role of this part of the brain is thought to be long-term planning of goals.

If you read the article, unlike the author, a thicker prefrontal cortex is associated with better social skills, and vice versa. Introversion is only mentioned in relation to a specific test of social function, and people who demonstrated social withdrawal per the aloof-introverted personality type had a thinner prefrontal cortex with a very high correlation.

That’s right. The introvert, dear article read a scientific study to be completely opposite of what it says. Anyway people who are of this ‘aloof introvert’ personality have a thinner prefrontal cortex and are more likely to be bad in social situations and are more prone to depression. The study says fuck-all about one’s abilities in higher cognitive processing.

The next bit of the article specifies it’s specifically the intuitive ‘day-dreamy’ introverts who may be geniuses. You know, like Einstein. Can’t read a fucking scientific paper. Geniuses.

We get the “Einstein was scatterbrained!” thing and I mean yeah he was and I know obviously your scientific interpretation ability died somewhere back in that Starbucks line but correlation does not in fact equal causation, you ignorant fuck, and there are people who are both ditzy and also stupid. I mean, you may be a genius but so might the person who can remember where their car is and also can read a scientific paper and also has the basic social acumen such that they don’t hold up a coffee line, which is honestly one of the deadly sins.

Anyway, some dude named Dr. Michael Woodley is quoted as the evidence for the space cadet - genius line. I should point out this is not a unique or new idea; also the writer of this article appears to have developed a tiny scrap of self-awareness and posted an article from the UK’s Telegraph from 2014 instead of another scientific study.

Since talking to the Telegraph in 2014, Dr. Michael Woodley has appeared on Stefan Molyneux’s YouTube channel in a video on why civilizations rise and fall; he is a British ex-pat right-wing figure who frequently posts on alt-right websites and believes in eugenics and that immigration and the industrial revolution have brought down people’s IQs. You know. Highly sensitive introvert stuff.

Now granted I don’t necessarily thing the article writer cosigns these views of Woodley’s; rather I think they are such a bad researcher and writer they forgot to use Google for 5 seconds before putting together this hack job of barely coherent regurgitated drivel.

So: the author used one source that doesn’t actually say what she thinks it means, and the other that relies on the pseudoscientific testimony of someone who is what the kids call ‘racist.’ This is enough to cause anyone with a prefrontal cortex to have serious doubts on the validity of this article. However, there are also some basic structural problems that I would penalize the average high school student for were I grading their essay. To wit:

Earlier in the article, the author mentioned that “the brain can only juggle so many tasks at one time. In fact multitasking isn’t even real.”

In the penultimate paragraph the author cites a Huffpost piece from 2012, which I did not read because it asked me to allow all sorts of weird personalized ad tracking and I’m not about that life, not for a 6-year-old Huffpost article, but anyway this person’s interpretation of the Huffpost article is that children who are absentminded may be smarter because, and this is again a direct quote, "their working memory may have greater capacity, perhaps giving them a stronger ability to juggle several tasks at once.” [emphasis mine]

 So: the author cannot in fact maintain a consistent thesis throughout this article and didn’t even use a thesaurus to cover up the obvious contradiction.

We find ourselves now at the last paragraph in which we get the wishy-washiest of conclusions: not all introverts are geniuses, though some certainly are. I would like to again pit Einstein references against Niels Bohr references to say “this isn’t even wrong”, Bohr’s criticism of ideas that were so banal they showed little or no actual theories to debate within. 

I looked to the byline to see who had written this extremely poorly thought out piece, hoping it was some freelancer who wrote this in five minutes while drunk and who was scamming introvert, dear the whole time. Sadly, the author, Jenn Granneman, is not a brilliant hustler who is pranking us all but the actual founder of the website. This woman has a published book out, somehow. This woman has entertained the idea that she may be a genius because she forgets things, like her keys and how to write an essay that wouldn’t get you a ‘see me later’ in red ink at the top and a stern lecture about checking your sources.

If the above has not convinced you of the utter worthlessness of Introvert, Dear as a website and concept in general I will leave you with the final words of the article for your deep processing and consideration:

“But the next time you zone out, get lost in your head, or forget something, remember that you’re in good company. It might just be your inner brilliance shinning [sic] through.”

[hotegg]

October 15, 2018

(Super long, sorry)

I’ve decided that with the recent and drastic shifting of my studies and practices, I should (and need) to start keeping a journal of my experiences.

I’ve decided to make this public in the hopes that my entries will connect with and maybe help someone.

Acting as a place fore journaling and making notes, a lot of stuff in these entries might not make sense- especially in the Notes. Feel free to ask questions and to share thoughts respectfully. I’d be open to discussing most things. I always welcome a respectful and insightful conversation.

Now, where to begin...

Recently, I’ve dug into my craft more than ever. Why? Many reasons. To find what truly works. Because I have a burning passion for my craft. To discover answers to questions I have. To enhance my life. To further discover myself. For freedom.

I took a handful of months to solely research. I hardly practiced anything because I wanted to make sure I had the right information and the right understanding of that information before trying anything new. But also, delving into the studies of different paths is so... addicting. It was lovely to get lost in it for a while. And by no means and mmmm I claiming to know tons of things. I don’t. I have much, much more work to do.

With everything I’ve been looking into, Solomonic magic is where I decided to start practicing again. Actually doing things hands-on, which is one of the best ways to learn.

I started with the Pentacles of Solomon. I was really careful before using any of the Pentacles. I wanted to make sure I understood everything before attempting anything. So, in the process, I bugged a lot of people. And I’m so grateful for their help, wether they knew they helped or not.

Many people helped me within the handful of past months, not just relating to the study of the Solomonic path. Thank you, all.

I finally casted my first Pentacle- the Fifth Pentacle of Saturn- on Saturday, Oct. 13, 2018.

Honestly, I wasn’t quite sure what results to expect. A few days later, I was offered $150ish bucks for a quick music job out of the blue. Sweet. I’m excited to see what other results there will be, if any.

I didn’t /feel/ anything during the process, interestingly enough. I felt the energy of the LBRP, but not anything from the creation of the Pentacle. Just an interesting note.

Speaking of rituals, they’ve really influenced my path. I love rituals. They can be just so beautiful as they are powerful. I still need to write and perform one by the end of the month. Ha, we’ll see how that goes. @heckomygeckom8

With such a shifting in my studies comes a shifting in my beliefs. One question has been on my mind this entire journey:

Does magic only hold power if you believe in it?

I know that Solomonic magic is supposed to work wether or not you believe in it or magic in general. Does this work for all magic?

I understand that doubt impacts success, but is belief truly necessary?

Is the answer definite, or is it a kind of gray area? Can two opposing beliefs coexist and work (belief is necessary for magic vs belief is not necessary) simultaneously?

Feel free to share your thoughts on this. I’d love to hear as many peoples’ opinions as possible before I decided anything for myself.

I’m torn in what I believe because I feel like I’ve had experiences to support both sides...

Anyways, I’m exhausted. Going to wrap up this messy, disorganized entry. I originally had a better first entry. It was so beautifully written and flowed so well. Such a shame that my phone glitches and deleted it. I would’ve taken the time to write a better first entry, but the development of everything I’ve been learning and experiencing is happening too quickly. I simply just need to record and post this entry to I can stay current with everything that’s happening.

NOTES

•sleep patterns and dreams since retrograde (Weird Retrograde Sleep Experiences ™️ @lulloph )

-crazy ass dreams

-sleep reeeaaaal sucky

-people knowing when I dream about them?

-messages in dreams?

•learning Hebrew

•Influence from Solomon magic, ceremonial magcic, traditional, folk, and chaotic magic and more

•entities taking an interest in me

-telepathically communicating with me a lot, especially before sleep

-something following me around

•deeper study of energy work

•interest in Solomonic, traditional, and ceremonial magic

•interest in bones and protection and rituals and Circle castings (deeper studying on protection)

•interest in evocations and deeper spirit work

•need to create a ritual for protection/raising power/something @murl

•other things I’m probably forgetting bc I’m so sleep deprived

•oh starting new grimoire. Won’t look too aesthetically pleasing, but it’s the info inside that counts.

•still singing to Hekate?

•planning on

-geomantic evocations

-more protection rituals bc hell Yeah

-more Solomonic Pentacles throughout the week

-talk with J

-daily tarot

-servitor creation/adoption

-The M family @theprismaticdreamer

-Umbra energy feels like it could really be so natural for me...

Gratitude To 🙏

@jakattax

@theprismaticdreamer

@lulloph

@heckomygeckom8

@the-swamprat

@kab-niel

@darkfyretheumbrawitch

@wolfofantimonyoccultism

@tyetknot

And so many more. Thank you. 🙏

I will be continuing my entries on my other account @spirits-metaphysics-witchcraft