#why make it everyone’s problem

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

After months of research and development and market testing and perfecting the first item I feel confident selling online, I have realized... that it is an incredibly niche item that only a specific subset of absolute nerds would want to buy, and I will have to do a ton of explaining the basic idea over and over again before people generally get what it is I'm even selling. RIP me

[dead-girl-tells-stories]

DC x DP Prompt

To the delight of Gotham's citizens, and the dismay of her criminal underbelly, the GCPD has a new specialized unit that ACTUALLY apprehends criminals and brings them to justice!

It's a relatively small squad of mostly young adults, who looked fresh out of their teens. But age didn't matter once they got the work done. And they did, as they've already got criminals like Penguin, Riddler, and Bane behind bars for what looks to be 'for good'.

No one besides Commissioner Gordan knows anything about the squad as they operate as a mostly separate entity from GCPD. It was rare to see any of them, and any photos taken were unusually blurry. They are also extremely secretive; if you exclude their social media which are usually just shit posts, memes, and thirst edits of the Wayne family.

They were a total mystery. Almost as mysterious as Batman.

But those who have seen/worked with the squad before all had the same thing to say about them. They were cool. They had an unusually effective method. And their leader is a menace. With his sharp teeth and pointed smile. And bright blue eyes that spoke to your soul. It was a pleasure to see/ work with him, it really was. But they weren't planning on doing so again for a long time.

That being said, Gotham had been quiet for a while. A bit too quiet if you ask anyone, especially the Bats. Strangely, it didn't feel like the usual calm before the shit storm. The instinctual pit in their guts that usually formed just wasn't there. This was different. This wasn't the calm before the storm. This was the ocean receding. But no one seemed to realize it yet.

Not until the tsunami came crashing down on them.

The GCPD special unit accounts that had been inactive for the last three months suddenly pinged to life. Everyone who followed them clicked the notification almost immediately. With this unnerving calm surrounding them, who the hell didn't want to see what batshit crazy statement they would make after three months of radio silence.

What they didn't expect, was to see a crystal-clear picture of justice finally being served.

The picture was a selfie, taken in an abandoned warehouse. In the middle of the dirty floor was the Joker. He was tied up and his head hung low. You could see how beaten he was, his clothes torn and bloody. His face paint was also coming off, revealing pale blotchy skin. Reminding everyone that, he was still human, just like the rest of them.

Behind him, all lined up with smiles on their faces, was Team Phantom. They were a bit bloody and bruised as well but overall in much better condition. They weren't wearing the normal GCPD navy blue uniform, but black and white ones. All stylized to fit the wearers taste. They all looked so young, but their eyes looked like old tired eyes, finally getting some relief.

From in the corner was their leader. Only part of his face was in the picture. One glowing blue eye, and part of his Cheshire smile. His hand making a peace sign next to the Joker. Even with only part of his being shown, everyone could tell he was relived as well.

And while the picture itself was shocking, the caption was what really got them. The top was what you would usually expect from the team. A big bold 'GOT EM' ' at the top. But at the bottom in small, almost unnoticeable text was:

"He will face his punishment. We will get our retribution. May we finally rest in peace."

[furiosophie]

i know someone must have done this already but--

based on this post by @chaotic-kass

[softiedingo]

men with dimples will always be my type 🗣

[bananonbinary]

theres so many ways to write how jmart interact off-mic in season 1, but my lowkey favorite is “jon genuinely doesn’t realize what a huge asshole he’s been and thinks he and martin have ‘professional differences.’ he sees no reason they cant be friends right up until martin is like ‘you literally wished i was dead’“

[iamnmbr3]

So you know the scene at the end of The Taming of The Shrew where they have that stupid competition to see whose wife is most obedient? Can you imagine if other Shakespeare characters were there?

Ophelia: You called, My Lord?

Hamlet: No I didn’t. Why are you here when nobody likes you? Go away!

Petruchio: Even I think that’s mean.

Romeo: Go find Juliet and ask her if she would come here and tell her she has the most beautiful eyes, that make the very sun seem dull, and the loveliest hair and a face that puts to shame Aphrodite herself...oh and bring her this sonnet I wrote her...and actually I’ll go find her myself for I can’t bear to be apart from her another moment!

Petruchio: …

Petruchio: … Yeah he’s not coming back. Next!

Coriolanus: Go find my wife and ask her to come here and also ask her if she's seen Aufidius. Actually, have you seen Aufidius...or heard any news of him?

Servant: No I haven't… Is there a name or a description I could use to find your wife?

Coriolanus: Hold on. I know this one.

Petruchio: Wow... We’ll come back to you. Next!

Orlando: I refuse to participate in this farce. It’s demeaning to women.

“Ganymede”: Nonsense! Any real man (which I totally am) wants women to obey him without question!

Orlando: That’s wrong! That’s not being a “real man”; that’s just being a bully. I would never treat Rosalind that way and I hope no one else would either!

“Ganymede”: … You pass the test.

Orlando: What?

"Ganymede": What?

Benedick: HEY BEATRICE!

Beatrice from 3 rooms away: WHAT?

Benedick: CAN YOU COME HERE A SECOND?

Beatrice: WHY?

Benedick: SOME MAN HERE WANTS TO SEE IF YOU’RE OBEDIENT.

Beatrice: WHY ARE YOU PERPETUATING THE OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN INSTEAD OF PUNCHING HIM IN THE FACE?

Benedick: YOU MEAN YOU DON’T WANT TO COME HERE AND SHOW OFF YOUR OBEDIENCE? I AM SHOCKED AND HEARTBROKEN!

Beatrice: HA. HA. SO HILARIOUS.

Beatrice: … HE STILL DOESN’T SOUND VERY PUNCHED IN THE FACE. I SUGGEST YOU FIX THAT UNLESS YOU WANT TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH FOREVER!

Benedick: ON IT!

Benedick *rolling up his sleeves*: Isn’t she great?

[inkskinned]

maybe i'm a bitch but if i hear you go out of your way to judge someone's weight, i immediately lose trust in you & will probably forever find you a little unbearable . yes also the little floating bar over my head will start reading [hostile]. this is natural and u caused it.

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

Roy after Wembley:

[heynhay]

you know i got halfway through this before realizing i probably subconsciously ripped the concept from an old tumblr post sorry

[choochooboss]

Ingo Bracket 8 match may not be going in Breakmas's favor; it seems the bosses haven't realised this little guy is their real opponent and are now busy taking care of him! They're still searching for this sneasel's Poké Ball to keep him extra safe!

This adorable looking little warden is from Team Conductors: PMD AU by @teamconductors! I would imagine warden Ingo being rather confused at the situation, being carried around by his younger self, on the other side of law..?!

Link to the original meme in the comments!

@ultimate-submas-tournament

[writing-for-life]

“Rules and responsibilities”—Jill Thompson

[queerofthedagger]

one thing that keeps me up at night is how, as people have pointed out before, arthur loved merlin simply for being merlin, regardless of magic or destiny etc., but how in some ways, that doesn't exactly apply the same way the other way around now does it?

like. i mean obvious merlin loved arthur for just being arthur, man would have never stuck around otherwise and one may even argue that later on, he actually did put arthur over destiny repeatedly (although i will say i agree only partially with this because why wouldn't he protect arthur above all else, if it's arthur who is supposed to make it happen! that said yes, most of his motivation to keep arthur alive came from arthur being his friend, not some higher calculation.)

thing is. arthur wouldn't exactly know this. arthur in fact in the finale seems to grapple with this a lot, if not most. the idea that to merlin, too, he had been a means to an end, as to so many others, whether in them wanting to use him, or wanting to get him out of the way.

there are very, very few people (gwen, pretty much as the only one alive) for whom arthur was just arthur first, king and destined peace-bringer, prince and first knight etc etc second. and i think if not for the whole, you know, dying business, it would take him a long time to actually, fully believe that merlin was one of them, after all.

which is just fucking heart-breaking, innit.

[cluescorner]

I cannot imagine being a Damian stan right now. You've got both Zdarsky's bullshit (where he clearly doesn't give a shit about your boy) and The Boy Wonder (where Juni Ba clearly gives so many shits about your boy) coming out on the same day. The whiplash must be insane. I hope y'all get some nice warm soup for your efforts jfc

[mystxcfire]

Evil Thoughts ^^

So, I am having very evil thoughts about some John Dory Ideas.

Like what if, Time-Travel John Dory. This idea came to me about the worm holes in the Trolls: The Beat goes on. Like what if 20s or mid 30s John Dory went forward/Backwards in time, like they switch places. If 20s John Dory, he would be in his mid life crisis mindset and maybe a bit feral but would be in shock at seeing his family being older than him making him the youngest with a guilt conscious on his mind. I like the idea that JD was gray for a bit when he was exploring and adventuring so, he is gray when he travelled into the future. If 30s John Dory, he would’ve try and save their grandma but ultimately fail in doing so but he tries to make it up by taking care of Branch and becoming a right hand man for King Peppy. He would also went out to get his brothers back as well and apologize to them.

Looks: 20s JD, would look like a twink. To me, JD wouldn’t have that much to eat and would be considered very underweight and look very skinny and scrawny. He looks the same as when he had left Branch but gray and seems to be glaring at others often than not, keeping a very noticeable distance between others including his brothers.

For 30s JD, looks like his canon self but as time goes on, he dawns a more exhausted look to himself. He would be constantly staring off to the distance. He wears the same clothing as his canon else but would have to change it up a bit.

Extra Info: TT!20s JD is a menace. He loves to cause trouble as he is very used to it as he has lived in the forest for awhile but he does double down when he was taken into his now ‘older’ brothers and was learning how to be civil with the trolls of pop village.

TT!30s JD on the other hand, is old. He is considered to be his brothers father which he didn’t mind and neither does his brothers, now sons. He wanted to mend the relationship that he himself felt responsible for breaking the bond, as brothers and as their father.

—

Or What if a Time-Loop Au of where John Dory entered a worm hole in which he was struck by a weird light and he was suddenly back in his old body and decided to try an change the past but in doing so, he created time-loops in which certain events happened instead of what would’ve happened. Like each Aus that are created are time-loops that Time-Loop JD created but everytime a new loop is created the previous loop is still implanted into his mind making him even more depressed, anxious, wary, confused and distrustful towards others. The Time-Loop either resets when JD dies or if one of his brothers dies.

Looks: John Dory would look the same as his young canon self but as the time-loop progresses, he starts to change himself. He is more tired looking, dawns different article of clothing from each time-loop that went by, has an exhausted look in his eyes as he stares off to the distance. He even stops eating at one point and gotten skinny and underweight. Scars are littered around his body, from times that he died during the time-loops.

Extra Info: TL!JD is very forgetful. He sometimes forgets about time-loops where he dies instead of grandma or Branches Dies instead. It’s an endless loop of time. Sometimes they are short but sometimes they are long. The longs ones, are the ones that hit him the hardest as he would always remember them. Always.

—

The fact that I thought up of this is uncanny as, I had just remembered in Trolls: The beat goes on, in one of the episodes, they were sucked into a wormhole in which anything is possible so, I decided to make something from that knowledge. Also, I would think that John Dory, would’ve had encounters of wormholes from time to time but wouldn’t be able to go through into exploring one since he mostly didn’t have the time or Rhonda would’ve stopped him from going through.

[feluka]

i hateeee jokes about arab parents only wanting sons and not wanting daughters because 1- when it's like that, that's an awful thing and not something to be joked about and 2- it spits on the face of every arab parent who consistently has to put their middle finger up to the world and say fuck you my daughter is my greatest treasure and i'd rather have her than a thousand sons and i won't hear a word against her!! because in my experience these are the most loving parents to be found in the whole wide world

[kokokulto]

alright cuttletavio nation, you got me on your radar  +live squid sisters reaction (they realized where their lashes came from)