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blehblarghblah · 2 years

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So as a multi-fandom blog, what was your first fandom? Or at least the first one you remember being apart of? I did a deep dive of your stuff, was it Zootopia or Red vs Blue? 👀👀?

Don't worry! It's not like, some traumatic thing or anything! 😅 I guess it's just embarrassing? But honestly, we're on Tumblr, what can ya expect in terms of past teen fic writing. I doubt you wanted a massive deep dive into this but I'll share nonetheless! Plus, I kinda wanna make this a lesson about fic writing and its struggles so if you wanna bear through go ahead! I also have a feeling this'll be a bit long so I'll spare people's feeds with a "keep reading".

So Red vs Blue and the Halo crossover was my first ever fic I wrote. I won't go into the details of any of my fic's plot because they were lame, but also because I don't really have time for that. But yeah, its concept is/was like most abandoned fic concepts you see: had good potential but was written by an amateur writer who was way out of their depth. It was essentially a multi canon divergence fic and was supposed to mesh together both stories during critical moments in both their franchises but I obviously half-assed it.

But I wasn't apart of the Red vs Blue fandom as much as I consider being apart of a fandom. Zootopia? Now that was the first time I was ever into a fandom. I was following all the big fic writers and their fics like @demonwriterx or @upplet, soaking up nearly every fic artist and their fanarts, and talking with other fans! Try Everything was my writing song! (Still listen to it, it's a pretty good motivation song). I knew Zootopia fun facts, watched the movie countless times, and as you no doubt know, I wrote a fic for it.

Zootopia: Partners in Crime or ZPIC, was a fun adventure I don't regret being apart of. It's one my biggest fics on FFN and also has my most words ever written as of late, going over 430K. The fan response was amazing as well as the community interaction. My old beta @legoaustin11 was truly a great collaborator and definitely had a bigger hand in its development in the later chapters. He wrote a chapter, helped me write some scenes and greatly helped my creative processes.

When I told him about going on hiatus, part of me knew I wouldn't be returning. And as time grew on I kind of weighed the options of letting him take over. Austin didn't exactly know the entire plot of ZPIC and wouldn't exactly have access to the fic to upload newer chapters. He and I kept in touch well after its hiatus here and there and last I heard from him he was doing okay during the first lockdown! It's not something I thought much about, but ZPIC being continued is something I'd run by him first before all else. Regardless, ZPIC was also a learning experience in that I wasn't prepared.

Legends of Avatar: the Untold Story or LoA, sorta fell in the same boat but I genuinely do believe I'll return to that one someday. Just not any time soon. But it was also my second dive in doing a canonical rewrite but more properly and more thought out. I still have proper notes and layouts of what's to come! And I do return to writing it here and there.

MTBMS, my oneshot fics, and L&L taught me about being prepared and having layouts for my stories. ZPIC had an ending, but it wasn't written out---not in concept or in a scene. MBTMS? College AU, Superhero AU, Childhood AUs, they have endings. L&L has chapters written out in advance and scenes and plot structures laid out. I was just an amateur when I wrote ZPIC and it clearly shows.

That's not to say every fic I have written/will post has been fully planned. My Arcane and RatLD oneshots weren't entirely planned, but my Taang oneshots were! MTBMS wasn't at first going to 100 chapters but I decided to make it that way when I was approaching 50 chapters (chapter 49 was where I announced trying to make it to 100). Then when I made that decision, I decided to pace out and ease up on its update schedules.

To make a long winded story worthwhile:

The thing I learned about fic writing is that it isn't as lax as you convince yourself it to be sometimes. Not to say every fic or fic writers must go through sheer amount of planning and plotting. But I noticed that the ones who dream big? Fall short like how I did and it's kind of ourselves to blame for that. A good lesson to consider is if you are going to aim big and shoot far, then take the time to adjust your crosshairs and practice your breathing. It's harder and more ambitious than you might realize! Taking a step back to think ahead has some great benefits.

All in all, the journey was great and though I'm not apart of the Zootopia fandom as much as I was before, it still holds a massive place in my heart for what it started for me. Sure the movie was basically copaganda and a sorta poor take on racism, but its BIG theme of implicit biases and just overall overcoming of status quo for modern society was something I found endearing and heartfelt. I imagine I lost quite a few Zootopia followers along the way, but if you're still sticking around from then? Thanks! ( ^‿^) Not sure why ya are, but thanks!

Shameless plug: If you wanna see all the fics mentioned you can go to my blog and click on "Here's all my fanfics!" or any of my profiles for Ao3 and FFN. Though some of my fic are NOT on Ao3 because I couldn't be bothered to cross-post. But I will get around to it for LoA. Also, this is barely the surface of all the WIPs i've scrapped/am working on...

Until next ask,

- Bleh

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buckyforbreakfast · 5 years

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Pillows as Blankets

Pairing: 40s!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Prompt: “You could’ve stayed”

Summary: You finally move into Bucky’s apartment.

Warnings: 40s!bucky, all the fluff

Word Count: 2,060

A/N: This is my submission for the amazing @buckthegrump for her angst & fluff writing challenge. Happy birthday to your blog!!!! It is absolutely amazing and one of the first blogs I ever followed (re-uploaded because my tumblr got deleted)

The truck was parked in the field behind the new neighborhood, where there was still tall grass and a border of trees due to construction.

It was a calming sight to witness, the unruly earth after all the concrete you’d gotten used to. The sun was turning everything gold. Orange rays of light leaked into the small clearing and the breeze was light, but despite all of that beauty, you could only see your James lying next to you.

He’d brought blankets from his apartment to lay across the single row of seats. The leather was more bearable that way, retaining more heat with the cool temperatures outside. You did this and often after work and before going inside.

Bucky was a bit long to be able to fit comfortably on the seats, his bare feet were hanging out of the window. Still, he managed to cuddle beside you and make room.

The two of you had been planning this for as long as you’d been together, that one day you’d leave the apartment your parents had helped pay for, and move in with Bucky.

He sat up, leaning on his arm to look you in the face, “It’s getting kinda late.”

Today, he’d allowed his hair to hang natural. Most days he had it slicked back, but the weekend had come and he couldn’t wait to get you settled in. It was a rare but glorious sight to see. James Buchanan Barnes in his realest state. Hair product was something Bucky took very seriously.

You gazed upon him under your lashes, the setting sun was etched on his already sculpted face. The hollows of his cheeks casted shadows, putting a lump in your throat. Bucky kept his face shaven, and it was heavenly. When he clenched his jaw is what weakened you most, something you wouldn’t be able to witness if he’d sported a beard.

Although you knew the James Barnes would’ve put all other beards to shame if he grew one out.

Kissing his chin you whispered, “Let’s go inside.”

He made a small noise of satisfaction and settled back down next to you, grabbing your hand to kiss it, and then putting it inside his own. Closing your eyes, you breathed him in, wrapping your arms around him in a tight embrace.

You’d been in his apartment a million times, but somehow you still managed to catch those little nerves. It was about to be your place together.

It was that airy feeling in your stomach you’d felt the first time you rode the Cyclone roller coaster. It was that feeling you got when Bucky had said he’d loved you the first time. It was that feeling he made every time you kissed. Today was no different.

Bucky sat up after a long while, helping you to get up as well, and put his shoes back on. He grabbed the lever on the side of the door and manually rolled his window up, nodding at you to do the same.

You grabbed your small suitcase, following Bucky and opening the car door. The summer weeds flattened under your steps, unlike the tan grass which crunched that the truck was parked on. Warm air filled your lungs, the smell of flowers and dirt heavy in the area behind the houses.

That kind of beauty would probably be a parking lot someday, or more buildings. Right now, it belonged to you and Bucky, and years after it’s gone you can cherish the memory of the gardens and the children playing, turning it into their own playground, energized by the sun that most of New York never gets to see.

He held your hand the entire walk to the backdoor, squeezing gently with anticipation.

Gently smiling he came to a stop, “Set your bag down.” You obliged, setting it down on the wooden porch right by the door. Bucky’s cheeks sunk in with the mischievous grin he gave, moving one arm to your back and the other at the back of your knees. The confusion on your face transforming into an expression of pure joy.

“Buck, we aren’t married, you don’t need to do this,” you complained with the corners of your mouth lifting anyway. The tiny hairs that were usually locked in place tickled your forehead when he bent down to grab your suitcase. He kicked the door open, having already turned the knob, and carried you over the threshold.

Bucky set you down, “Just practicing, doll.”

You looking into his eyes sheepishly, before he set you down, your arms free again. Instantly the nerves returned, causing you to twiddle your thumbs. He winked at you before disappearing down the hall where his bedroom was, your bedroom.

He came back without your suitcase, having placed it on the bed for you to unpack later. Bucky exhaled and gave a big smile, excited and giddy about your first night over as a resident.

Plenty nights you’ve spent over at his place. Being the gentleman his Ma raised him to be, Bucky would refuse his own bed and sleep on the sad, blue couch in the living room. His bed was the most comfortable thing you’d ever known, always feeling a tad bit of guilt when he gave it to you for the night.

“You wanna make those tiny pizzas we used to make as kids?” Bucky lifted his eyebrows, inching toward the kitchen.

Your eyes lit up, no longer feeling skittish, “Oh gosh, Buck, yes. That would be wonderful!”

Following him behind the counter he began pulling stuff from cabinets and from the fridge, “I got all the ingredients the other night for us. Can you get the pizza cutter, it’s in the drawer beside the sink.”

The two of you fell into a rhythm, having never cooked together, it went quite smoothly. Bucky tossed the dough for you both and you stuck them into the oven when you finished decorating them.

Bucky reached for both of your hands and pulled you close, kissing you softly, “Look at us, doll.” You were moved into him as he brought you in for a hug, standing in the warmth radiating from the oven and the dim lit apartment.

~~~

He’d insisted you showered first after you unpacked. Bucky had went ahead and cleared a few of his drawers for you and made room in his closet for your clothes. Not that you had an abundance of stuff, but the gesture was too sweet of him.

You sat in the bed, your nerves agitated again, knowing well that once Bucky got through with his shower that he’d be joining you in the bed. No longer would you part ways and him grab a blanket and pillow for the couch.

“You look so pretty,” he muttered, leaning against the door. Hot air rushed into the room and you could see that the mirrors had fogged up in the bathroom. Your cheeks heated up.

Silently you were grateful he’d changed and not walked out in a towel. His hair was damp and ruffled, having dried it vigorously with a towel. Bucky wore blue boxers and a thin green shirt. You helped him pull back the sheets and he settled in, groaning with the feeling of finally getting to rest.

He was still warm from his shower when he got comfortable, you snuggled into him and used his arm as a pillow, enjoying the water heat radiating off of him.

Inhaling, you grinned, “You sure do smell good.”

Bucky chuckled, knowing what you were getting at, “Who knew ‘cranberry and honey’ would smell so good on me?”

You rolled your eyes at him, ruffling his hair and pecking his cheek. If you weren’t careful he might get into your perfumes as well.

The nervous man next to you kept moving, reaching to turn out the lamp, adjusting his shirt, and placing his arms in different positions. He couldn’t get settled down for sleep for anything. “Y/N, little spoon,” he whispered, rubbing your shoulder.

Before turning away from him, you held a hand under his jaw, “You alright, James?”

He hummed, staring in awe at the little he could see of you in the dark, how your eyes caught the light of the moon, “Just some nerves. We’ve never slept in the same bed before and I don’t wanna be a bad bed partner, I guess. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“It’s alright Buck. I’m a little nervous, too,” you glanced away from him, “I don’t think you could ever be a bad anything.”

Your joke had loosened his nerves a little, causing him to laugh, “I love you so goddamn much, Y/N.”

Bucky pulled you into him, making himself the big spoon, before finally closing his eyes and feeling at peace.

“I love you too, Buck.”

~~~

The clock hanging up on the wall was too dark to see. Bucky could tell the small hand was at an early hour, just not sure which one.

He rubbed his eyes, clearing away the sleep that had built up in the corners and was careful to move back the comforter. You were fast asleep, but he still wanted to make sure to be as quiet as he could.

The wood floor groaned when his feet hit the floor. He pulled the covers back over you and stood in place for a moment to confirm you were still asleep. You were, and he slowly moved toward the bedroom door, leaving it slightly open so as to not make noise.

There was no blanket on the little blue couch. From experience, he’d learned the decorative pillows weren’t any good for his neck, but had forgotten to grab a pillow and blanket from the bed. It was too late to make another trip back in there and risk waking you up.

Bucky settled on the old cushions and curled up on his couch, adjusting some of the pillows around him to retain warmth. Summer had made it to where his apartment was colder than normal. He cursed himself for getting out of bed, now having to deal with the shivering. Most nights he wouldn’t have slept with a shirt, thankful for the thin fabric keeping him even slightly cozy.

With Bucky as a natural heatsource now absent from bed, the lack of warmth prompted you to wake. The covers were tucked around your body, making it harder to turn around. When you did, there was no sleeping Bucky to be found.

Lights weren’t on in the bathroom so he wasn’t there.

You got up from bed and walked up to the clock hanging next to the doorframe. It was two in the morning. Pushing the door open you could see straight into the living room. No Bucky upon first glance.

Walking further into the room you could still see his truck parked in the same place as earlier. He hadn’t left. Where had he gone?

There was no James standing in the kitchen, having a midnight snack as he often did. However, there was a James shivering on the couch.

He hadn’t even bothered to switch the television on or grab a glass of milk. The decorative pillows were placed over him, acting as a blanket. You sighed and went around the couch, bending down in front of him.

Bucky didn’t even see you at first he was so cold.

“Whatcha doin’ Buck,” you whispered, placing a hand on his.

His eyes slowly opened, blinks close together, not wanting to fully open his eyes, “I didn’t wanna disrespect you. I was guilty sleeping in the bed with you.”

The sleep was thick in his voice, barely making any sense without articulation. Your hand found itself in his hair once more, kissing his forehead, “You could’ve stayed.”

“What will your Ma think?” he sleepily protested, eyes now fully opened.

“Come back to bed, silly. Now we’re both cold,” you ran your hands along his arm, taking the pillows off of his back and legs.

“But your Ma,” his head raised up.

Bucky sat up anyway, despite his poorly made argument, and put a hand on your waist, following you back to the bedroom.

“You’re somethin’ aren’t you, Barnes?”

Even in his groggy state, Bucky could only smile and kiss your cheek, glad you’d brought him back to bed and back to you.

PERMANENT TAGS:

@saharzek / @just-add-butter / @jitterbuck / @strawberrybucky / @laurfangirl424 / @bestbebucky / @sweetboybucky / @aletheladyinred / @impalaimages / @pizzarollpatrol / @lokigodofsasss / @xxashy999xx / @finecelle / @buckyofthemyscira / @thisismysecrethappyplace / @maefisher2003 / @lolabean1998 / @yenneffersstuff / @fabtasticass / @booksmarvelandfanfic / @crazybutconfidentaf / @piensa-bonito / @chinalois / @siriuslyimmoony / @marvelous-avengers / @queenofkings121 / @gravedollie666 / @thesassmisstress / @givemethatgold / @teh-nerdette / @sebbysimblr / @nerd-without-a-cause / @awkwardfangirl2014

BUCKY TAGS:

@notimetoblog / @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety / @spxder-bxck / @burningcoffeetimetravel / @cauraphernelia / @sebstanwintersoldier27 / @trashpanda-barnes / @tranquility-or-chaos / @vulcanaeris / @formerlythewintersoldier / @existingovertherainbow / @pokeloisfk / @rogersandbarnesx

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky fluff #forties!Bucky #40s!bucky #bucky barnes #bucky #sebastain stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #rei writes #pillows as blankets #buckyforbreakfast

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nikatyler · 5 years

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Here’s a tiny sneak peek at what I’ve recoloured recently. I’m not sure when I’ll upload these because I still need to take preview pictures for them and I don’t have time for that tonight. And tomorrow in the afternoon, I’m going back to Prague. Even though taking preview pictures doesn’t take much time, I’m kinda uncomfortable playing the game with my roommate around. And anyway, I’m mostly doing school stuff when I’m at my dorm so...yeah. But I’d love to post it someday soon of course.

Unrelated but I’ll also hopefully get around posting all the asks soon. Some are drafted and ready to be posted, some are still in my inbox but I will get to them. I said character development is the one thing that will help me survive this semester and I meant it haha, I wouldn’t just throw it away. I hardly ever delete asks, actually, so if I don’t reply to you, tumblr ate it or I’m planning on answering soon :)

#ts4 #sims 4 #also most of these sims are from my legacies #both current and discontinued #and then three sims are...well...from an au of sorts?#it's not really an au actually #you know...if i wanted to continue golden days with gen 4's kids #that means i could rewrite carrie lynn's storyline #and that means i could get her with priscilla #i did them dirty in the legacy #anyway i think you can see where i'm going with this #lol i didn't want to tell you who these three mysterious sims are but here you go #i couldn't keep it to myself #it's highly unrealistic that i'll ever get to the point where i can start rewriting gen 4's kids storylines but ok ron keep dreaming #dreams are nice #nothing wrong with them

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the-signs-of-two · 5 years

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I made a post yesterday asking if you would be interested in hearing my thoughts on Sherlock and the Sherlock fandom in light of the recent influx of Good Omens-stuff, which has made some people in the Sherlock fandom afraid that the fandom is dying. I received nothing but positive responses, which both surprised and delighted me to no end, so here we are.

This is going to be a bit of a long and rambling one, so strap in.

First of all, I need to talk about some personal stuff that I haven’t really talked about on this tumblr before. That is my Asperger’s (I was diagnosed less than a year ago, I’m still processing it and I haven’t received an “official diagnosis”, just the word of a psychologist specialising in girls and young women with Asperger’s – just putting that out there). I know a lot of people in the fandom have similar problems, so I’m not sure how much I need to explain. But I do want to say that the way Asperger’s is generally written about and portrayed online (on sites like Wikipedia or the like) is, in my opinion, often very negatively worded and gives an exaggerated idea of what Asperger’s is, at least when it comes to milder cases such as me.

A characteristic of Asperger’s is what’s known in English as “restricted and repetitive interests”, which I find to be a very negative term. I much prefer the Danish term særinteresser (“special” or “peculiar” interests). Basically, it means that a lot of people with Asperger’s develop a keen and often very intense interest in a certain quite niche subject – if you’ve heard Cabin Pressure, think of the way Martin obsesses over planes and memorises an enormous amount of plane trivia.

For me, it’s always been an abnormally strong obsession with various media. I’ve obsessed about various franchises through the years, but Sherlock and Sherlock Holmes has been the one and only for at least 4-5 years now. It doesn’t necessarily mean that my interest is stronger than other people in the fandom who spend a lot of time and get a lot of enjoyment out of Sherlock, but it certainly is stronger than the average fan and it has some, shall we say, specific expressions. I LOVE talking about Sherlock – I find it really difficult to describe the kind of excitement and positive energy I get from talking Sherlock, but think of the way children get excited when they do something they love and the excitement is just bursting out of them. I don’t need something new to talk about either. I write meta when I get a good idea or I get inspired by other people’s meta and throw in my two cents, but generally speaking, I don’t need something new to discuss in order to discuss Sherlock. I just want to talk about it! I try to keep it to a minimum on here because I think people… wouldn’t really… care…, but I’d love to discuss things like what I think characterises Sherlock and John, what I look for when I watch a Sherlock adaptation in the characters and in the relationship between the characters, my top ten Sherlocks, my top ten Johns and my top ten adaptations (side note: if anyone is interested in that, PLEASE drop me a comment or an ask, I’d be absolutely delighted).

So… all that to say that I consume Sherlock and Sherlock Holmes and participate in the Sherlock fandom because it gives me an immense sense of satisfaction as well as an outlet for my excitement that doesn’t bother my surroundings. That is what I think the core of fandom is and always should be: enjoying and celebrating what you love unapologetically in a safe, supporting environment, where you don’t have to rein in your feelings in fear of negative social consequences. And I think that’s always very, very important to keep in mind – it’s all about enjoying what you enjoy.

In my opinion, all fandoms should aim to promote that enjoyment and reduce negativity. Of course it’s the internet – negativity is hard to get rid of completely. But, speaking only for myself, I’m here to have fun.

That is why it will always be my opinion that no matter what you ship, that should be met with acceptance and respect. I don’t ship Adlock or Sherlolly (just to mention two prominent ships in my fandom that I am not a part of), but I would never ever argue that shipping Johnlock is “better” or “more correct” than shipping anything else. Shipping Johnlock is simply my preference and, frankly, I don’t consider it my business what other people enjoy. I can join them in loving the show as a whole and then we may go our separate ways when we want to talk shipping. I hope and believe that Johnlock might be made canon someday. But even if it does, I don’t think that matters much when it comes to shipping. Johnlock becoming canon matters for representational reasons and for the people who already ship Johnlock, but shipping is separate from and can live without “the canon stamp of approval”. What’s canon and what’s not doesn’t legitimise some ships relative to others because, again, shipping is about enjoyment and I think everyone ought to be free to enjoy whatever the heck they want to enjoy.

That applies to other fandoms as well.

As a quick disclaimer, I haven’t watched Good Omens. I probably will at some point, it looks really good (but I’m not gonna lie: I’m mainly interested because of Benedict, Mark and the setting).

So… Good Omens. You can probably guess what I’m going to say: people may enjoy whatever they enjoy. Some might leave Sherlock behind and make a full transition to Good Omens. Some might be really into Good Omens now and return to Sherlock in a while. Some might just be experiencing a short crush on another fandom and return to Sherlock very soon. Some might just be dipping their toes into it. As Moriarty would say: It’s all good.

I’m fully familiar with crushes on other fandoms. I go through such phases too every once in a while. I recently went through an intense The Lord of the Rings-phase after watching the Extended Editions and all (yes, ALL) of the additional material.

However, I’m also fully familiar with the fear that you yourself or other people in a fandom are moving on. Whenever I go through one of these phases where I get really into another fandom for a while, I get really upset because I think I might be leaving Sherlock behind. And our fandom is in a very precarious position at the moment. It’s been two and a half years since we last had any new content and that content was… uhm… a mixed bag. We don’t know if we’ll ever get more and, if we will, we don’t know when. And if we won’t get new content, somehow we’ll have to reconcile ourselves with S4, which is really hard. Fandoms tend to stagnate after a while if no new content is added, and I think that’s what a lot of people fear is happening. And it’s a very natural fear, whether you fear you yourself losing your interest in a fandom or the fandom itself shutting down: you don’t want something that has given you so much enjoyment to end.

But I don’t think we’re there. There’s still so much to do and talk about and analyse and create in this fandom. People post new fanfics and upload new fanart every single day. I’m able to reblog tonnes and tonnes of great content from other people in the fandom on a daily basis. I have nearly 1000 followers on here (as a side note, it is absolutely crazy and I am so blessed and thankful to all of you!). Of course, many of them might not actually check out what I post anymore, but seeing as I almost exclusively post Sherlock stuff and have done since the very beginning, clearly there’s still a lot of people who are interested in this content. Heck, even the creators are still desperately trying to keep everyone invested by trying to get us all drunk on themed cocktails.

So my final comments are these: I understand both the appeal of a new fandom (especially a fandom with a cast and crew as supportive of their fans as GO seems to have) and the fear that you or others might be moving on. But I want to stress the importance of having a fandom driven by excitement and enjoyment. So those who are really into GO at the moment should absolutely not be made to feel bad about that. People should be free to post and enjoy whatever the heck they want and that goes for everyone. I, for one, don’t think our fandom is anywhere near done and I will continue to post all Sherlock-Sherlock-Sherlock for the foreseeable future while we wait for S5.

Tagging the people who asked for this: @colourfulwatson @anchored-in-high-tide @catwillowtree @gelos @johnlockedinwarstan @why-are-you-cryingg (your username will not link for me for some reason, I’m sorry, I hope you see this) @cherylbombshellofthegay @royalworldtraveler @flowery222 @ebaeschnbliah @sherlockslove112

#Sherlock #BBC Sherlock #Good Omens kind of #up close and personal #fandom life

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dotzines · 5 years

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Artist spotlight: Chao Warrior!

Commissions ✿ Ko-fi Twitter ✿ Tumblr ✿ Instagram ✿ Art Fight ✿ Uchinokomato

Header source: [X]

Introduce yourself I'm mysterious artist who loves Pop'n Music. I enjoy making whimsical characters inspired by a huge variety of things, and will look forward to creating a manga someday... When did you start drawing? Are you a digital or traditional artist? I started drawing since I was a few months old (I also knew how to used a computer at that time as well), and I began making original characters in 2009. I work on both traditional and digital, but I mainly do digital. Which mediums are your favorites? Did you try going digital?

When i do traditional art, I mainly use coloured pencils Do you use any traditional mediums? If so, which are your favorites? I only apply traditional mediums, usually watercolours, when appropriate, and it's mainly for backgrounds.

image source: [X] Why do you prefer traditional over digital? (or viceversa) To go with my style of art (mix of Puyo Puyo and Pop'n Music) What do you think is the most challenging part about being a traditional/digital artist? Complex shading + highlights, drawing heavy details, and background creation. What inspires your pieces? Pop'n Music and Puyo Puyo for the art style, and a large variety of things for the character/art theme and aesthetic.

image source: [X] Explain your "everyday" drawing process First I draw the sketch on paper, then I transfer the sketch by taking a photo and uploading it on my computer. I put the sketch in my art program and, in the following order, work on the line art, the colouring, the highlights, the shading, and the other details. Most of the time I draw the characters firsts then I do the backdrops. Do you have an artist you admire (or more than one)?

Chihiro Inuoe, the artist who did all the character portraits for Pop'n Music Lapistoria, Eclale, and Usaneko. Also Pyohato since they have a similar style: http://nebulamancers.web.fc2.com Is there an artwork you are most proud of? Why? https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/460844986502479872/561736533145550851/All_Eyes_on_Me.png The image I plan to use as the artwork that represents me. I'm very proud of the shading techniques I used here, and plan on doing the same for this Zine.

Do you listen to music (or tv shows/films/anything else) when drawing? Sometimes, but when I do, it's mainly Pop'n Music songs or Akiko Shikata songs.

image source: [X] What makes art interesting for you? The endless amount of possibilities I can create, and how people's creations can inspire many other artists as well. What do you do when art block strikes? Listen to music, look up random stuff on the internet, or use random generators on generator sites such as https://www.seventhsanctum.com and https://springhole.net/ What’s the most valuable art advice you’ve ever received?

Always be confident in your art, no matter how others see it.

#Chao Warrior #artist spotlight #red zone artists #red zone

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mysticsparklewings · 5 years

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2018 Art Summary!

I've never done one of these before because usually, I don't even have to look to know I'll have several months left blank, as I have a bad habit of finishing things and either just waiting to post them or uploading things in bulk. This time though, I felt more confident about having a piece for every month...Turns out somehow I lost February in terms of art-making . Oh well, 11/12 ain't bad. (And I'm very positive I drew something in February, but evidently, I didn't think to post it. Which is weird because February usually isn't that busy for me ) Also, I think I'm a few days late to the party on these, but whatever. And now for a short description and links to each artwork so you can understand & see them better. January: Coraline One of my earlier attempts at just straight fan-art from one of my favorite movies. I'm still really happy with how it turned out, almost a year later February: Surprisingly, nothing! (Seriously, I have no idea what happened to February...) March: Killjoys, Make Some Noise! The first piece of My Chemical Romance fan-art I ever made. Poor me and poor them, they look a wee bit feminine, but I'm working on getting better at that. Maybe this year I'll take the time to color the line art to honor the anniversary again--we'll see! (I put this one in sideways because I couldn't size/crop it to fit the other way to my own satisfaction) April: Ivy Enchantix 2018! You know, I would've thought if there was any month I had no art posts, it would've been April. There was Spring Break and Easter, school stuff including taking a trip to New York...And yet it seems April was actually one of my busier months, considering what all I had to pick from. But it was really no contest of which one to pick as my favorite. While I definitely only rarely make Winx art anymore, when I do there's a lot of heart and soul poured into every piece, to the point there isn't much I can find fault with. This may not have been the "grand return" I was hoping for, but it stands as a reminder that I'm not ready to fully let Winx Club go anytime soon. May: Watercolor Stars The tail end of May 2018 marked a big milestone I almost never thought I'd see; My first display drawing tablet, a Wacom Cintiq that I stalked eBay for months (possibly even years) to finally get my hands on. This was also the first time I actively revisited my Mini Magnet Challenge from the year prior, using one of my favorite poems as inspiration for the first piece of art made with the tablet. Looking back on it now, I really am in love with the overall atmosphere. June: The Sandman This month proved to be a busy one, and I have to say honorable mentions go to my Art Style Challenge and The World is Ugly, the second piece of MCR fan-art I made. But ultimately I went with this one because I'm still obsessed with Mr. Sandman's unique character design and for as simple and quick as the image was, it's honestly one of my most favorite pieces I think I've ever made. (I even have it posted as a Portfolio piece on my website). The other two are great and easily tied for close seconds, but they don't haunt me the same way this one does. July: One Little Spark Early July was time for my family's annual theme-park vacation, specifically to Walt Disney World. After we got back, I had that feeling I usually do about being just so inspired by everything we saw and did, but not really knowing what to do with it. Every year I want to do a small series for every day we're at the parks, but I never have the time or means to do so. So an obscure crossover of Figment from Journey Into Imagination at Epcot and Animal Crossing: New Leaf was my compromise for 2018. I still think it's adorable and though it is ridiculously unlikely, I have to say I would absolutely love to see Figment appear in an Animal Crossing game someday now. August: Grav3yardGirl Once again, August had a few different options but ended up being a no-contest. This is the first piece of fan-art I ever made of my favorite Youtuber, Grav3yardGirl , made and posted at basically the last minute for her birthday on August 3rd. I'm not sure she ever saw it or knows it exists, but there's always next year! I do still think it turned out really cute for how much of a rush I was in to complete it. Also, someone needs to remind me to use that parchment paper in my artwork more often... September: Marco Renoir Colored Pencil Test This month was relatively calm with only a few art pieces to choose from. I went with my test piece for the Marco Renoir pencils because I do still really love how it looks and also because it sort of marked the beginning of my hunt for colored pencils and would eventually lead me to pick up a few other specific brands. Plus doing all these test pieces ends up boosting my colored pencil skills overall. This also marked the beginning of me using galaxy/sky pictures to test colored pencils, which has proven pretty effective, I think. October: Outfit of The Day This was my busiest October art-wise in a while, I think. For once I wasn't competing with art/theatre classes that demanded a ton of my extra attention, and this was also the first time I was super committed to seeing Inktober through to the end. And admittedly my Inktober 2018: Wrap Up! picture was very close to getting this spot, but I ultimately decided against it since I would be really hard to tell what it actually is and that seemed like cheating since I'm not sure I could pick a favorite Inktober piece anyway . So I went with my first-ever Outfit-Of-the-Day drawing instead. I am still really thrilled with it and it was one my first real holiday-specific pieces I made also. I was also rushing to get this one done, and I still think it came out really good, all things considered. November: Why, Curious Butterflies! This one was honestly the hardest to pick because this was easily the busiest November I think I have ever had art-wise. For at least four years prior I always had a ton of theatre stuff to do, but not in 2018. (Don't get me wrong, I really miss that class but it was definitely a big commitment). In the end, I went with the picture that makes me the happiest; this little fan-art inspired by a purse I had just gotten IRL. It's cute and its mixed-media, which I am increasingly convinced is where my artistic talent really shines brightest. December: The Nutcracker Oddly enough, this feels like the sparsest December I've had for art in a while because I think before Winter Break was like my main comeback after months of having to put stuff off. I may not have made that many art pieces this December, but the ones I did were pretty elaborate/in-depth for me. I went with my Nutcracker girl since it's a concept I've been wanting to play with for a while now, and once again this was a mixed media piece that I think really showcases my skills. And it's also one of the first real like Christmas-y drawings I've made. I also spent a good chunk of this month acquiring new art supplies to play with . All in all, I look back and I'm pretty happy with what I've accomplished art-wise is 2018. It was a year of experimenting and milestones, and I think I'm in a much better place as an artist now than I was a year ago. Lord knows my journey is not over yet, but I like where I am so far. Art Goals for 2019: Keep experimenting, maybe learn to draw faster, post more consistently; and most importantly, keep striving to be better. ____ Template (c) DustBunnyThumper Artworks (c) me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble | Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram

#2018artsummary #artsummary2018 #artsummary

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aporeticelenchus · 6 years

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Send these to your favorite Authors and let them blab! What is your total word count on AO3? How often do you write? Do you have a routine for writing? What’s your favorite kinks/tropes/pairing? Do you have a favorite fic of yours? Your fic with the most kudos? Anything you don’t like about your writing? Now something you do like! Send it to some of your favorite Authors to spread some love

Aw, thank you! I’m glad somebody out there still thinks ofme as a Writing Person despite my recent tumblr absence…

My word count on my main Ao3 is 19576 words. Huh, that’smore than I would have thought given how rarely I add stuff over there. I neverknow what I should upload on Ao3. My Super Secret account has ~8600 words (Ishould really finish my two WIPs for that account…it’s been ages since I’veposted to it.)

My writing schedule is quite sporadic, especially right now.I have a lot on my professional plate, and almost all my writing effort energyis being fed to the dissertation monster. I do like routines though – writing groupswork really well for me, particularly having people I can check in with. I’mtrying to make some writing time one or two mornings a week, because it’s anice break from everything else. I plan to do some fic writing this weekend if I can knock out enough work over the week.

I love pretty much any cheesy fanfic trope, but my favoriteis fake dating. Fake dating is the best. Give me every permutation with ridiculouspining and misadventures and unnecessarily intricate backstories. I reallyappreciate fanfic that isn’t afraid of clichés and playing tropes straight forall they’re worth

…oh geez I just saw that 87 people are subscribed to myshamefic WIP WHOOPS MY BAD SORRY EVERYBODY. I plan to update someday, Ipromise! I know what happens next and I’ve tried to write it a few times, I’mjust a bit stalled out on the details…

Anyway! My favorite fic of mine is the fakest fake datingAU, i.e. Les Amours de Marius. Itincludes several of my favorite things: fake dating, making fun of Marius’melodrama, Theodule hitting on everyone, Bahorel being aggressively delightedby the absurdities of life, Grantaire being a big pill and also a big sap atthe same time, etc. This is by far my fic with the most comments, although notthe most kudos. It has several repeat commenters giving me chapterly updates, whichis amazing!

I’m not sure if I ever discussed the title of that fic – I mean,it’s sort of obvious in context why it’s appropriate – but I specifically was referencingGrantaire’s mini ramble about Marius’ love life in Preliminary Gaieties:

—Les amours de Marius! s'écria Grantaire. Je vois ça d'ici. Marius est unbrouillard, et il aura trouvé une vapeur. Marius est de la race poète. Qui ditpoète dit fou. Tymbrœus Apollo. Marius et sa Marie, ou sa Maria, ou saMariette, ou sa Marion, cela doit faire de drôles d'amants. Je me rends comptede ce que cela est. Des extases où l'on oublie le baiser. Chastes sur la terre,mais s'accouplant dans l'infini. Ce sont des âmes qui ont des sens. Ilscouchent ensemble dans les étoiles.

I love this little speech so much. It’s so quintessentiallyGrantaire, and it captured the feel I wanted for the fic. (I could ramble about this for another paragraph, but this post is long enough already.)

My fic with the most kudos is still, weirdly, the Spider-Manfic I wrote for Kate a few years back when she was sick. It’s pure TASM 2 fluffwith Harry and Peter and Gwen, and I have no idea why or how people keepfinding it and leaving kudos. But they do. I still get kudos on that fic.How???? (My second most kudosed fic are all on the Super Secret account.)

There are a LOT of things I don’t like about my writing. Idon’t…ok, I don’t think I’m a very good fiction writer. And that’s fine! I don’tneed to be! I can still write things I enjoy and other people seem to as well, and that’s all I want.There are things I’ve gotten better at and that’s cool too. But I really don’tlike describing physical objects or settings. I don’t even like reading thoseparts of books generally. So I basically just don’t do it. I don’t movecharacters around much or do a lot of action. I try to push myself on that abit, but wow it is hard, and I am short on spare time and not getting paid for this.

I like a lot of my dialogue! And I like my jokes – my sense of humor is somewhat predictable, Ithink, but it still makes me smile rereading my own fic. Even in the fic I don’tthink of as particularly funny still get comments about comic timing and dry humor, andthat makes me happy.

#thank you!#Elenchus chats #badassindistress

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royalblurryfacedbastard · 3 years

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Hey guys! My single I Hate My Brain is available on all streaming services and online stores rn! Been out since November 9th. I also recently uploaded a new cover on my YouTube channel @ Casper Chesney.

Vent time! Cw for breakups, mentions of trauma and death

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I'm planning on making more music and releasing stuff in the near future, but right now I'm feeling kind of just... Sad and unmotivated. I cut ties with my ex yesterday because I just couldn't deal with feeling hurt anymore. He hasn't done anything really, but it's hurt me a lot trying to move on only to have everything fall back down on me whenever he's mentioned his other ex or things in general that have hurt me. And yesterday he mentioned something that was kind of the last straw I guess even though I am happy he's taken that step towards moving on from past stuff. It's hard though of course, cuz I've grown so used to having him in my life and now there's just me. And I'm alone again, even if I've got my friends and all.

Towards the end of our relationship I had a lot of anxiety attacks cuz I was so scared of losing him. I worked on myself extremely hard because I knew that me being too clingy was probably one of the reasons his feelings faded, and well, after a week of that and a week of me making so much progress with my mental health, we broke up. I'd already had a full-on anxiety attack the week before when we almost broke up, but that night it was less and more bad at the same time really.

A thing I've had to learn is that if you feel like or believe that someone is your soulmate and the love of your life, if you genuinely look at someone you're with and think "I wanna spend the rest at of my life with this person" and you've felt the sense of comfort and calm in that, if it ends you're gonna feel like you're dying. Just genuinely dying. I had moments after we broke up where I sat on my bed crying and I almost expected to stop breathing sometimes, like I just expected to disappear and cease to be. And that's how it felt a lot.

I pushed myself to focus intensely on other things for a long while afterwards, I pursued music to 150% and I still do every day one way or the other, but in the beginning it was just a distraction. Cuz I know full well that at the time I was trying to convince myself and him that I was done and moving on and over it, mostly so he wouldn't feel bad because he's always felt terrible for accidentally hurting me or saying stuff that's made me upset.

It's only now that I've kinda come more to terms with everything but yesterday I decided to just leave, because it doesn't help me to keep talking to him. It holds me back from moving on, it gives me anxiety cuz I worry he doesn't tell me when he's down or sad or upset cuz I'm the one who's been sad a lot, and it just... Doesn't go anywhere. I think a big part of me held on in hopes we could be together again someday or that he'd realize how much I meant to him or something like that. And well, who could blame me? He was a good boyfriend who checked up on me and talked to me and we made each other laugh and he's one of the only people who's seen my face and my body without me trying to look skinnier or prettier and he still called me cute and beautiful. I don't know a single person who wouldn't fight tooth and nail to keep a person like that by their side. Just somebody to grow with, somebody to figure shit out with, someone to lean on and have them lean on you when either needs it. A team member. Someone who supports your passions and goals and dreams and makes you realize your worth.

And well. I'd like to believe that I did right tooth and nail. I gave it my all, I loved him more than anyone I've ever loved, and it didn't work out. And that hurts more than anything I've felt before. Like, I've struggled with mental health issues and depression for more than half my life, and yet that emptiness and that pain isn't even similar to this.

It's not anyone's fault though. We both made mistakes in our relationship and all those small mistakes led up to it ending. And I do believe it was meant to happen and meant to end, because even if I'm pissed at the universe and disappointed and so deeply deeply hurt, there's a lesson in it.

The way I'm trying to see things is people are either meant to stay or they come into your life to teach you something and push you on your way. And he came into my life to push me on my way, and now I'm on my way. It's just that I hoped he could stay and be a part of my life, but that didn't work out because it held me back and hurt me. Both during and after the relationship.

I have songs record and work on and things to do. I don't need to strain or overwork myself because I need to take care of myself as well and work through my trauma that affects me on the daily and my issues, but yeah. Got songs to sing, words to write.

I'll probably be posting more personal stuff on here from now on cuz while I don't use Tumblr as much, this is where I first started out and it's still a safe space for me. I mean, I journal every single day and that's helped me a lot, but I've also realized that if I don't get my thoughts out where someone can respond it stays inside me and causes me so much anxiety and hurt. I kinda doubt that anyone's really gonna read these personal posts but yeah. I'm back, I guess?

#personalstuff

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aprillikesthings · 6 years

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tipsy rambly thoughts on my sexual identity which you are free to ignore (and which go on for....a long time)

It shouldn’t be such an effort to remind myself to just relax because it doesn’t fucking matter what I call myself so goddamn much, I don’t have to decide anything. I’ve been out as bi at some level for literally twenty years or so, and that identity includes liking women. Nobody gave me shit for dating a bunch of dudes in a row. Nobody’s gonna give me shit for dating a bunch of women in a row, assuming that’s what happens.

At least probably nobody will give me shit. I only came out to my parents because I had My First Real Girlfriend at a time when I had to move back in with them when I was 25--in 2005. After her I basically started a streak of dudes--not intentionally--and so they’ve only known me to date men ever since. I worry that their acceptance of my bisexuality is because I mostly dated men after that. Guess we’ll find out.

(Speaking of which: gaaaah that means it’s been that long since I had sex with a (cis) woman and holy shit I hope I’m not awful at it. I literally bought a book about sex with women, which honestly has some advice on stuff I was worried about, yay (like ‘but how do I breathe while I’m down there’ lol))

One of my only real regrets about my 20′s is that I didn’t spend more time in intentionally queer spaces. There was this horrible feedback loop of “I’m not queer enough,” which meant I mostly dated men, which meant I didn’t feel queer enough....

The only non-straight women I knew for a long time were either middle-aged lesbians I wasn’t close to, or other bisexual women--I think literally every woman I had sex with was also bisexual. Which would have been fine.....if it wasn’t mostly women who hadn’t actually been with another woman. It was like the lesbian sheep post times ten. So much flirting. So little actual action. (Even with my one actual girlfriend, we only had sex like...once a month?? And we were dating all of five months!)

I have A Lot of Thoughts as to why bisexual women mostly date men--which I might write about at some point. One huge part of it, is that men are just easier. Straight dudes are everywhere, you don’t have to go looking for them (pfft they come after you), there are cultural scripts in place for dating them. Whereas women? If you wanna date women, usually, you have to be intentional about it.

Meanwhile lesbian culture is A Thing. Not only that, but it’s a thing that unintentionally excludes a shit-ton of people. And I don’t even mean that in a “ew you’ve touched a dick” kind of way, I mean that in--I didn’t finish college, I know exactly one Tegan and Sara song, I never listened to Sleater-Kinney; there’s just a whole bunch of cultural touchstones and rites of passage I was completely oblivious to. As a white woman into women who is my age and lives in Portland, I can’t shake the feeling that that makes me a huge outsider. I don’t really feel like I’m femme but I’m definitely not butch so I really don’t know. Some of this is projection, though, most likely; I’m just....nervous.

I just remember, the Saturday before Halloween, going with my friend to that lesbian event, and realizing “oh god gay women, so many gay women,” and how nervous and happy I was and how hot they all were.

I thought for years that I was more into men. Was I? I don’t know??? I had sex with men. I enjoyed it a great deal with some of them, and I know I desired them. But I was always attracted to men who weren’t quite the supposed ideal. They always had something about them that was different and a little.....not-masculine? not macho? But then--I was happily bisexual! Of course I’d be into dudes that weren’t stereotypical straight dudes!

It’s just so weird to me, to hang out or see men, and realize that while I do find some of them appealing, the idea of actually having sex with or dating any of them just leaves me totally cold.

But how much of that is just the recent political climate? Or even before that, seeing screenshots of asshole dudes on tinder, or knowing about the MRA groups on reddit? How much of it is knowing that a guy who might seem perfectly sweet on the surface might not see me as a real human being? How much of it is knowing that even guys who profess to be feminists have no idea what emotional labor is and will still leave me with most of the mental load and housekeeping duties?

I have a lot more sympathy for 2nd-wave feminists who decided to be lesbian for political reasons, that’s for sure.

I worried for years that I wasn’t really into women, because so many of the supposedly sexy images of women left me cold-to-lukewarm. Sometimes part of it would ping my desires and part of it wouldn’t and I couldn’t sort it out. And to some extent, I’m finding, it’s because I’m attracted to women who are heavier, and who were less likely to be portrayed as sexy in media. And part of it is that I’m attracted to women who (for lack of a better way of putting it) look kinda gay. Even the femme ones! I’d be hard-pressed to explain what makes a femme queer woman look different from a “girly” straight woman, and I wish I knew what it was so I could do that myself, but going to more stuff where most of the women are queer....there’s something, dammit. (Do I think Hayley Kiyoko looks kinda gay ‘cause I know she’s gay? Fuck if I know.)

But maybe I just like women more now? I don’t know.

And maybe my gay-dar is just getting better. (Hahaha was anyone else on OKCupid in the mid-00′s? You could test your gay-dar--they’d show you images uploaded by other users and ask you to guess their stated orientation--and at the time, mine was abysmal for women, but higher-than-average for men.)

I’m soooo envious of young queer women. I didn’t know any when I was younger--not any close to my age who were in actual relationships with other women. Earlier this year, a friend in her early 20′s who had a long-term girlfriend told me something like “holy shit I love fucking her, it’s so great, I know the joke is ‘how do lesbians know when to stop’ but sometimes like...we only stop because we’re both tired.” I was happy for her, but also I was so envious! And I see that all the time, on tumblr. Women having actual sex with women was a thing I knew happened when I was that age, but I hardly knew anyone my age who’d done it. It was this magical far-off fairy tale land that I might reach, someday....it was terrifying.

And I don’t know if I’m permanently more into women, or if it’s a temporary thing, or if it even matters. I feel like I’m faking it (or just jumping the gun) if I say I’m gay, but bisexual doesn’t feel right anymore either. I worry that women who are my age and gay aren’t gonna be into a woman who has no idea what she’s doing, god dammit.

All I know is, I’m terrified to get on OK Cupid or Tinder or Her or any of them just yet. But I also know that my wanking fantasies are all women, and my non-wanking fantasies are all women, and I feel like I’m gonna go bananas with how badly I just want, it’s like being a teenager again. (Speaking of which: I had the worst crush on this one friend of mine as a teenager, and I remember her spending the night at my house once, and hating myself because all I could think about was how badly I wanted to kiss her and touch her breasts--she turned out to be gay. I don’t think she was into me at the time so it doesn’t matter, but the irony has not escaped me.)

#personal #lol really personal

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coldphoenix · 6 years

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Personally...I think you do too much for people when it comes to fan art and fan fictions, and it's wearing you down...whether you realize it or not. Stress of any kind is still stress. Also, if you have expectations of any sort, high hopes, you're going to drain yourself too.

I basically have all that you just said lol 😅 I don’t want to write an essay answer here but I know I do worry about missing people’s fics and art, I really like it when people reblog my work and I sometimes get down if they don’t, and I just think that if I want people to reblog/comment on my work, the least I could do is reblog/comment on theirs. I’m a firm believer in treating people how you’d like to be treated yourself, in basically every scenario lol. It’s not just that though… I just genuinely like helping people by giving them feedback and exposure, and honestly I think that’s what everybody should do really… I do have a slightly lesser opinion of people who don’t show at least *some* support towards other people’s work, when other people show support to theirs. And to make sure I never missed anybody’s uploads, I had push notifications turned on and pretty much got notifications all day. The consequence of this was that I was on or distracted by tumblr all day, which I’ve come to realise was making me obsessed, and the obsession was affecting me irl, and also making me hypersensitive and easily hurt or upset over things on here that really weren’t a big deal. I’ve turned my notifications off and it’s allowed me to focus on my own things more, and just chillout in general… so from now on I’m just going to visit people’s pages manually in the evenings to look for their updates, and I think that will help me stay off tumblr all day, and therefore be less obsessed, distracted irl, hypersensitive etc… I just need to be careful not to miss anything when I’m checking people out 😆 Because I do still want to support all the people that have been kind enough to support me.And… yes. I do have high expectations… Writing isn’t just a hobby to me, it’s what I’ve wanted to do as a career since I was like 5, or however old I was when I learned to write stories lol. I’ve never been able to stick to anything else. I was a smart kid that got good grades, I could have been a lawyer or a doctor if I wanted to and I’ve done education that would have led me to both (well… nursing instead of doctor, but to an extent it’s the same knowledge, and I was good at it). Writing is the only thing I’ve ever stuck to, and honestly… there aren’t ,many things I can’t accept or deal with, but thinking I will fail as a writer is one of them. It’s always been a pipe dream, but it’s still something I’ve wanted to do ‘someday’ my entire life, and a few years ago I started to take it seriously and work on it… and I struggle to accept the fact that it might not happen. I never even believed it wouldn’t happen until I got back into fanfiction a couple of years ago, and honestly… realising that for the first time ever scared me so much. Even now I can’t allow myself to believe I’ll fail. I have to believe it will happen for me… but the downside of that is that I do go a little psycho if my fics don’t get good feedback. IMMEDIATELY! Lol XD But… I’m working on that. I know I’m impatient, and I see things that aren’t there, and I’m irrational and hypersensitive and every other batshit crazy thing you can think of when it comes to my writing. Nothing else in my life, just my writing. I’m a perfectly normal rational person with everything else lol. So… yeah, I do still have a high standard to be honest, because I can’t not, but… I do need to control how I deal with not getting the outcome I want. And I think coming away from tumblr and letting it be a smaller part of my daily life will help me with that. … Or I’ll just have another breakdown in a few weeks, I dunno 😂 But… yeah. I know what you’re saying, and I agree with you. I’m trying to work stuff out. I’m still finishing off a couple of writing things, but having this break has helped and I hope to be back in the next couple of days… maybe tonight even but I’m not sure. Depends how fast I work lol.

Thank you anyway ☺ It really helps to hear your advice, you give good logical advice haha. I think very highly of you and it’s cool that you’d want to help me ❤❤

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jihanlife · 7 years

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Hey guys! This is Amiya and I’m leaving...

Hey guys! This is Amiya. I know this is very sudden, but Ive been thinking about this for a very long time now. I promise myself to post this once i reached 10k and it’s time...... I am officially closing “Jihanlife”. This includes mmeanielife, verkwanlife, and jicheollife......

I dont even know how to write this without getting emotional ahahahah.

Being a part of this community is an eye opening experience. Unexceptionally. It gave me more than what ive asked for. All i wanted is a place to store jisoo and jeonghan photos. but then i met you guys and made alot amazing friends, supports, and love. OVERWHELMING LOVE. I was able to show my arts and edits and gain alot of skills through the process. Overtime the purpose of “jihanlife” had changed. It is now to spread the love and share out seventeen information to you guys. To make people learn more about seventeen and gather together as a fandom and i think my job is done here. I’ve complete my goals. Over this past 2 years, Im so glad to be able to make you guys happy. The best part of tumblr is that i can really connect with you guys like no other platform could. I love answer your question funny or serious. i love making shit post. i lovelovelove many thing about this place. it makes me feel warm and welcoming everyday. A year ago, i cant imagine leaving this place. “Jihanlife” mean so much to me............

Now to the hard part..... as to “why im leaving...”

The closing of jihanlife (tumblr) does not mean the ending of my love toward seventeen. Don’t worry. I’m not leaving seventeen or this fandom any time soon. I’ve been in this fandom since before they debut. I’m WAY to invested in seventeen. It’s too late to turn back now ahahah. Perhaps I even love them more that ever and will always do. But there are some reasons why i decided to leave.... and im gonna keep it very real.

1. I cant keep up with my blog. I cant work like i did before. My normal routine is to upload EVERY SINGLE PHOTOS of jisoo and jeonghan onto this blog EVERYDAY. and I run this blog alone. Once i missed a day. Its hard for me to go back and reupload it. Sometime it can take up to 6-8 hours per day. And thats just too much. I know i dont have to upload every single photos out there but its just my thing you know. and it starts to become a burden to me. Almost like task i need to complete. It starts to feel like work instead of hobby. I somehow pressure myself into it and i started to “hate” this blog. Someday it left my heart heavy and i want to get it off.......

2. Unpleasant personal experiences with fansites. Ive been in the fandom for sometime now. For 3-4 years. I know things and experience things that are fairly unpleasant. Something most people dont know about and i wish you will never know.. ever. Since then, i dont feel the same. It’s hard to explain you directly but it is what it is. I really do wish i havent experienced those negative stuff but it hit me hard and yep life is life. Shit happened once in a while and its okay. i get it. i get over it. moved on. But little bit little, I lose that motivation, I gave them those “maybes”. The will to run this blog as energetic as before, its slowly disappearing. i highly respect fansites. I was one before (and pls dont dig up my history lol its ancient). It takes alot of time, money, effort, and passion. Since this blog is highly involved with fansites. I gave them credibility of their works, respect their works and understand their tricky circumstances that most people wont understand, but unfortunately Ive never recieve any form for mutual respect and instead an “unpleasant” experiences. Dont get me wrong, there are alot of good fansites out there. Ones that respect you as a human being. But Im just never lucky to met/known ones. It sucks. (At the end, you do you. Me do Me. Im good. No hard feelings <3 )

3. It’s time. You know when you do so many cooking to the point that you can just tell by instinct that your chicken is cooked. No? me neither. I dont cook lol. All jokes a side, i really mean it. I just feel it is the best time to leave it like this and move on.

4. I’m Confused. There are alot happening in my life right now and im confused. So I need to make the decision and cut something out. A huge sacrifice. Jihanlife is my life and i love it so much. Ive worked on it so so hard 24/7 for the past 2 years but we need to make that decision to move on. Maybe I just need a break. Sorry for not being able to do this anymore.... Im so sorry.....

5. I ate too many gummies bear. I ate too many gummies bear. I ran out. I need to buy a new jar. so i cant blog. (lol)

Im not gonna deactivate this blog (yet). Im gonna leave it like that because damn i worked on it everyday for the past 2 years for nothing ahahahh . If you guys want to check out old photos of Jihan. You can still swim in the archive!

After I posted this in my blog, ill be here for the next 48 hrs before permanently leaving. So i can answer and talk to you guys <3

Even though im leaving tumblr but you still can find me screaming about seventeen, retweeting Jihan photos, doing this same shit on

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jihanlife

Follow my personal life! You can stalk me on youtube and IG. I just started a youtube channel! Yes im moving from tumblr to youtube now ahhahha. I have alot planned ahead and it would be nice to have my friend here go along on a journey with me! <33 im not quite sure with the content yet but im trying! So Join the Journey to the wildness of random shit LOL! So stay tune!!!

Youtube: Amy Choo

IG: gam.choo

It has been an amazing and precious experience. Truly. I hope you guys will keep continue loving seventeen and support them and yeah i hope you guys will do amazing.... as always. I will always be there for you even if im not in here anymore. Thank you for being so kind and caring to me. Thankyou for cheering me up when im down. Thankyou for adoring my work. Thankyou for being positive. Thank you for making this place a special place <3

This has been Amiya. Thank you for having me. Be kind, stay humble, believe unicorn and eat alot of cotton candy. I love you all.

Continue to spread the love.

Jihanlife (amiya)

#goodbye not goodbye #personal rant

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buttercream-imagines · 7 years

Text

Human Nature || Conor

all masterposts found here

pairing - Conor x reader word count - 1,063 warnings - none A/N -

summary - The one where maybe it wouldn’t be so weird

looking out / across the nighttime / the city winks a sleepless eye

Your first cover to make it big was Black or White by Michael Jackson. It went pretty viral, with different Facebook pages sharing it and YouTube even trending it at number two for a few days. You started getting requests to collab left and right from people you had never even heard of, let alone spoken to.

Conor was different. You and Conor had tweeted back and forth but had never spoken more than that. You greatly respected his music and he had pretty much been commenting on your videos since you hit upload on your first one. Once he saw your Michael Jackson cover, well, he was smitten.

He invited you over to his flat and the two of you ate Chinese takeaway and watched films before you even turned on the camera to record. It was getting late out, the city lights visible from Conor’s apartment twinkling against the black sky. He had set up microphones for you both to sing into in front of the camera so you could record your cover of Human Nature, another Michael Jackson hit.

hear her voice / shake my window / sweet seducing sigh

You and Conor fell for each other quite quickly, though neither of you cared to admit it. You exchanged numbers and texted almost daily. Whether you were sharing stupid memes or funny YouTube videos or talking about random things until one of you fell asleep, you were always talking. You shared more things with him than anyone else, and he did the same. There was something about your soothing voice over the telephone that made him spill all of his secrets. He trusted you. You trusted him.

Conor found your voice comforting. When you couldn’t talk on the phone, he’d rewatch your covers and the one you did together, just so he could feel like you were there. Some would say he was borderline obsessed, but he knew it was different than that. He loved you, he just couldn’t gather the courage to tell you.

if they say why, why, tell ‘em that it’s human nature / why, why, does he do me that way

It was a Sunday night and you were with Conor. This was normal. You often spent Sunday nights together as neither of you were in the mood to go out and party but you also didn’t want to sit at home alone. Sunday’s were your nights to stay at Conor’s and watch movies while eating Chinese food, just like the first day you ever spent together. “Let’s do a livestream,” Conor said randomly after finishing his food. You agreed and sat closer to Conor so that you could get in shot with his phone. Now that you had been friends with Conor for almost a year, you often appeared in videos or vlogs on his friends’ channels and the two of you enjoyed doing short livestreams for his fans. “Hey what’s going on guys?” Conor said with a bright smile to his phone. “I’m here with (Y/N) and we just thought we’d do a quick livestream for you guys.”

“Hey,” you said, giving the fans a wave.

“If you want to start sending in questions or whatever, we can do a Q and A type thing if you want?” Conor said, turning to you for your opinion.

“Sounds good,” you agreed.

The two of you answered questions about future collabs and what you had for dinner along with other random stuff the fans sent in. Then, a certain comment caught your eye, and Conor’s too. “You two get along so well,” Conor read aloud, “like it was meant to be.”

“It’s human nature,” you said with a small smile. “Some people just click.”

“You guys should date,” Conor read. You were both quiet for a minute, glancing at each other before turning back to the phone. “Good one guys, but that would just be weird.” Conor paused before looking back at you and adding, “Right?”

see that girl / she knows I’m watching / she likes the way I stare

Gifs seemed to explode overnight just from that single livestream. Fans caught you staring at Conor or him staring at you when neither of you were even aware you had done so. You found yourself scrolling through tumblr on the ship tag the fans had created for you both. You couldn’t help but smile at certain gifs or fan videos that you stumbled across.

One particular fan video was only a couple seconds long, but it made your heart flutter. It was a montage video of times you and Conor had shared loving glances with your cover of Human Nature playing in the background. The person had captioned the video, “Get yourself someone who looks at you the way they look at each other. Maybe they’re not dating right now, but I have a feeling someday they will be.”

looking out / across the morning / the city’s heart begins to beat / reaching out / I touch her shoulder / I’m dreaming of the street

A month had passed and the rumors became reality. You rolled over in bed, cuddling into Conor’s side. You pressed your lips to his neck, giving him light kisses across his skin. It was his favorite way to be woken up. A small smile spread across his face before he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him, nuzzling his face into your chest. “Good morning,” he mumbled, placing small kisses to your collarbones and shoulders

“Good morning,” you said back, running your fingers through his hair.

“What do you want to do today?” he asked, his face still pressed against your skin. “We could go out into the city? Do some shopping?”

“Do you know what day it is today?” you asked him. He lifted his head to look at you.

“Is it Sunday?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It is Sunday,” you said with a smile. “I’m thinking a movie marathon with some Chinese takeaway for dinner sounds good, don’t you?” Conor smiled and rolled over so that he was hovering over you.

“God, I love you so much.”

With that, he pressed a long kiss to your lips and thought with a smile that he so loved living this way.

#conor maynard #conor maynard imagine #conor maynard request #request #buttercream squad #buttercream gang #buttercream boys #buttercream

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todokori-kun · 7 years

Text

WELCOME BACK!

<3 I really missed you, and it’s so great to hear you had fun! (and omg yes so ready to see all those beautiful pics)

Yaaayyyy join me in MCU feels hell. And oooh, you have a ship for the fandom now! Like, Stoki’s still my favorite Steve pairing but Stony’s really cool too…you know I ship almost everything XD (also am I the only person who sorta hated almost everyone by the end of CW? Like, of course they’re still my favs and there are still some cinnamon rolls, but, come on. Why couldn’t you all just get along ;-;)

Speaking of Illumi, do you know that Hisoka/Illumi is an incredibly popular ship in the HxH fandom? Probably because both of them are so horrible that they have like 0 friends other than each other. Nobody else wants to hang out with these losers. (Chrollo tolerates Hisoka and the adults in Illumi’s family seem to spend enough time with him to give him orders, but that’s about it.) It’s a trash ship with two trashy people and tbh I love it XD

So continuing with the eye jokes, imagine. Hisoillu version of Helpless. Hisoillu version of Satisfied.

“Look into his eyes and the sky’s the limit”

“Intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame”

(I know you did thise one before but still) “But when I fantasize at night, it’s Illumi’s eyes”

just, I’m imagining animatics for this with the ‘camera’ zooming in on Illumi’s dead fish eyes every time the lyrics mention them. It’s hilarious and also mildly terrifying

(though I guess if we’re actually making a Hamilton AU Hisoka’s way more likely to do something like Say No To This…)

idk if I’d want to be a parent either really LOL. Kids are adorable but I don’t think I’ll ever be responsible enough to raise one…

If Ishida makes a plot twist or something about it being someone else pretending to be Hide I'm actually gonna get mad. Dude. Not only would that bring the Hide feels right back it’d just make absolutely no sense omg

(also you read the new chapter, right? So, let’s talk about Juuzou and that huge death flag)

I’ve heard of Soul Eater and considered reading it but it’s not really the kind of thing I’m into…artwork’s cute, though, and Death the Kid seems like an interesting guy so maybe someday XD

AGH I’M ACTUALLY SORTA JEALOUS BECAUSE WOW I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW TO WATCH THAT LEGALLY HERE IN KOREA. (unless I ask my dad for help but he doesn’t like manga/anime at all, so…) But yes, I’m really happy Lizzy finally got her moment this time! Now anime-only fans can’t complain about her being a ‘shallow’ character so hopefully there’ll be less fighting over Lizzy in the Kuro fandom :D

FINALLY. Fellow Death Note fan <3333 Who’s your fav? Do you have any ships? Are you done with the anime??? :D (also do you know…you picked a really interesting time to join the DN fandom. The American live-action movie just came out and it sucks so freaking bad, like I haven’t even watched it yet and just from the reviews/clips, here’s what I got:

-They turned Misa into this Harley Quinn-type character. Only without any depth.

-Light/Misa is an actual canon ship, like, it’s not abusive or one-sided like it is in the anime/manga, it’s just…a thing. Light loves Misa. Misa loves Light. It’s like every cringey high school romance movie ever, only with more murder

-They freaking bent the Death Note rules just so Light could get away with all sorts of ridiculous stuff

-L cries, L rants, L is overly emotional

-Light tells L where he hid a page from his Death Note. Light doesn’t deny being Kira. Light shows Misa his Death Note when they like barely know each other and she’s still a complete stranger to him. Light acts like an idiot.

-Oh sure, he’s Kira, God of the New World, but he still cares about going to prom with his girlfriend and making stupid faces as they pose for pictures

-So much unnecessary gore. Heart attacks are Kira’s thing, Light isn’t that emotional about his kills, he doesn’t care as long as the 'villains’ are dead, so why???

-Apparently Rem does not exist. Sayu doesn't exist either. Light’s mom is dead (probably so he can angst over her)

-Light Turner. Light TURNER. Out of all the surnames they could have chosen…

-And now, for the most unforgivable sin:

How dare they not include the Potato Chip scene)

And then random things: JJ and Light have the same voice actor. Yurio and Mello (imo…have you met Mello yet?) could be long-lost twins.

Also:

I’ve fallen into Steven Universe hell and now I’m imagining so. Many. Gem AUs. Have you ever heard of SU?

(look:

1- don’t stress about the messages, and come on, I’d never get mad at you over something like this! You’re way too awesome.

2- I don’t really know what to say 'cause I’m bad at comforting people, but ugh, it sucks to hear that school’s tiring you out! Queen Luna’s gonna get through this, though. I mean, you’re great at so many things and you’re freaking smart and…this is awkward but maybe you understand Evans Language by now? XD Guess I’m just trying to say that I’m sure you’ll do great, and if you ever need someone to talk to I’m (almost) always free *hugs*

3- Um. So, other than tumblr, I think the only way I can talk with you right now is if we email each other? The email address I used this time is my real one (or rather, my dad’s, since I don’t have one of my own yet…) so maybe we can talk about this more through email and find a better way to contact each other? If that’s ok with you can you send me a message there?)

P.S:

I’ve started college and have no idea what I’m doing

*slams head against keyboard* guess who managed to get sick. It’s only been a week since school started. Whatever, I’m still going to school, but I woke up breathing like a fish on land, bc asthma. Yay.

I’m definitely gonna upload the pics today!!

Okay, but one thing I’m wondering about, is How? Not in a malicious way or anything, I’m genuinely curious to why you ship Stoki (and where it began). Was it that redemption fic you told me about or did you ship it before?

Tbh, I didn’t hate the characters in CW, I hated the situation. Because there’s so so much pointless conflict that could easily be solved if everyone sat down and talked like normal people. But nooo we have to go around attacking each other. ((ALSO CAP’S LETTER TO TONY, I AM DEAD))

I’ve already learned (and experienced) that shipping is a very weird and unusual thing, so I’ll be honest and say I’m not even surprised that ship exists. At least it has some basis XD

I’m actually tempted to go through the lyrics of the whole musical and find every single eye line there is, only to replace it w Illumi’s eyes.

Not only zooming in on the eyes, the word itself is louder than the rest XD man if only I could draw…

Tbh I’d say I’m responsible enough (HA, that’s more or less a lie), but I’m honestly way too irritated with the little ones to be able to have one of my own. My cousin recently celebrated her 3rd bday and I was stuck looking after her during the party, bc all the adults were talking among themselves and I swear to god, I haven’t moved that much since I had to run 2km for PE. Where do they get their energy. Not to mention the adults thought it would be a good idea to leave me w her, because I’d already drunk 3 glasses of wine (i was bored and not allowed to do anything other than stare at emptiness or look after a 3yo). Turns out my tolerance isn’t that bad after all.

Lol let’s be honest, Ishida would totally do that. He knows the fandom would riot and that’s the whole point.

All the death flags. Tbh I don’t know how I feel about it. It’s obvious that either Touka or Juuzou are probably gonna die and I wan’t neither (If I have to choose tho, I’d rather Juuzou survives.) Also Naki. HNNNNNNGH

I think you’d actually like the manga? It takes a pretty dark turn compared to the anime and deals with lots of mental issues (the whole theme of the later volumes is Madness). Also, lots of death XD Well, the artwork changes drastically, so which one are you talking about XD

The girl in the coat (left first pic, middle 2nd) is the same person for reference. Death the Kid was one of my first anime crushes. The guy has OCD and is a total badass.

MUHAHAHAHA I think someone uploaded the Lizzy fight to youtube so you can probably find it there, but I am in love. The animation is beautiful, so that’s also a huge plus. All in all, it was handled really well.

Death Note

So last I’ve watched is ep 25, aka the one WHERE L DIES. And i am not okay. I am nowhere near okay. Nope. Not at all.

Oh i’ve heard all about the adaptation. Tbh I find the whitewashing hilarious. Setting the movie in America removes so much of the series’s logic, so why? L being the way he is is probably my favourite mistake. They took the best character and ruined him completely. POTATO CHIP SCENE NOOOO But my question is: did everything go just according to the keikaku?

Have fun w SU! I’ve watched it for a while, but gave up at some point. I might pick it up again if I have the time ^^ Word of advice, watch out for the fandom, they’re among the most toxic ones I’ve ever encountered. One time, they almost drove an artist to suicide because she didn’t draw Rose ‘thick enough’. So yeah.

What did I do to deserve you as my friend TT^TT Thank you so so much, those words mean more than you can imagine.

Um. Looks like we’ll be staying here, because I never, ever check my mail, despite getting school assignments there, so yeah. If we used mail, you’d probably get a response every leap year.

How does the education system work in Korea? Like, at what age do you start going to which school?

Also, I’ve told you about Mystic Messenger? I think you’d like the newest update, because damn, it’s creeping me out. Also, it’s in Korean, so + ((My thoughts during the prologue of the new route: Nani the fuck))

#evans #submission

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