#with proof of his own. but he's not. and he doesn't have any proof. this entire video is just heresay with some fancy editing

[laf-outloud]

For any fan of Misha to believe what he supposedly said in today's panel about taking a prank too far, they must either be new to the fandom, or have absolutely no memory of these stories before.

Let's be honest, the fans who think Misha's telling the truth "this time" absolutely know it's not true and are using this new story to persecute Jared, once again.

For those who haven't seen, here are the tweet reports from Misha's panel. Obviously, video will provide proof, but there are enough details to get the gist and these aren't the standard Misha-fan con reporters that like to lie about or twist what was said.

So, the original story about Jared taking a picture was told by Misha on the Inside of You podcast (see below). There was no zero gravity dive. Misha simply forgot to lock the bathroom door. Jared took a picture of him on the toilet, not naked and with no urine in sight. And yes, in retaliation, Misha flushed Jared's phone... the one that had the only pictures of his son, Shep's birth.

As for the getting knocked around, being covered in urine, etc. That comes from a trip Misha took with Rich, Rob, and Matt down to Australia for a convention. Misha tells the story here:

Matt, Rob and Rich have all corroborated that story here and here. It's actually a pretty funny story on it's own.

So, Misha put together some mash up of these two stories, making him the victim (once again) of a dangerous stunt supposedly perpetrated by Jared (which no pilot would ever agree, especially without all passengers belted).

If you haven't caught on by now, Misha lies. And he lies for a purpose. Most often, it's to engender sympathy from his fans so they'll continue to see him as poor, picked-on Misha who can related to them because they are also the 'outcasts' in their world. And if he can relate to them, then they'll continue to give him their money.

You may also wonder why Misha frequently references Jared as being the one to prank him (and often, the only one). One, because he needs Jensen as the other half of the Destiel pairing, which is another way to keep his fans dropping money in the coffers. And two... jealousy. From past stories and behavior, it's obvious Misha's jealous that Jared is as successful as he is, someone who never went to college but has worked steadily for over 24 years in an industry rife with unemployment. Misha likes to say things that imply Jared's only gotten by on his looks and not any kind of talent, but we know that's simply not the case. Actor's aren't employed for that long and that consistent on their looks alone. Talent and hard work are also needed, two traits which Misha obviously doesn't have, so he resorts to stringing along his dwindling fanbase with any story he can, regardless of it's veracity or whom it may hurt in the process.

Finally, Misha knows exactly who his fans are and how his fanbase takes the things he's said, so if he's ever called out and says he was joking and that people misinterpreted what he said, he's lying. And I'd say that lying was the only thing he was good at if it weren't so easy to debunk the lies.

[gothamhappiness]

Being in a relationship with Bruce Wayne: a journey - Nothing official, right? IV

It's a big series about an afab!reader who doesn't like Bruce Wayne and who still falls in love with him (he fells quicker and harder)

Reader's origin story // Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3

Warnings: no proof reading, wild cat!reader, mentions of sexual activity, soft!Bruce to you, you like to gently bully Bruce.

You knew that even if you had told Bruce that you wanted nothing serious, your relationship was actually shifting to something a lot more official.

Everyone was gossiping about the fact that the rich playboy of Gotham seemed to be only spending time with one girl lately. And you were pretty certain that indeed Bruce hadn’t had any kind of romantic or sexual relationship apart from you. You hadn’t either because no one really interested you. It didn’t mean you wanted to be “his” girlfriend.

You were still worried you would lose your credibility now everyone knew Bruce was seeing you. After all, the “son of Gotham” was always followed by paparazzi and you couldn’t hide your relationship forever.

At first, you heard whispers around you; you were just another girl to fall for Bruce. But you kept writing articles about the elite of Gotham and you kept pointing things out. When something was about WE, you simply informed Bruce you were going to publish an article about his enterprises. You kept doing your work. And the man never stopped you from doing so, because he loved that about you. You were ruthless to him, and he was finding it way too attractive for his own good.

The whispers quietened down.

Bruce took advantage of the situation by freely gifting you absolutely gorgeous dresses and jewels, without having to worry about “bribing” you anymore. He was inviting you to his favourite restaurants as well. 

But he was also eager to follow you to little cinemas and places you enjoyed and in which you were more at ease. You always ended up in a hotel room or at your place. You didn’t necessarily have sex, even if he often ended on his knees and in between your legs. At least until Batman was called for duty by Gordon or his kids (he made sure to finish you off before running away). 

After his missions, he almost always came back to you, and you always took care of his wounds and bruises. You were his safe place. His haven.

You never asked questions about what happened. You knew who he was and it was enough for you. You also knew Gotham’s media would soon enough talk about the last adventures of Batman. He was grateful you never interrogated him because he could forget about work when he was with you. 

His children, Alfred and even the Justice League noticed how his mood changed lately. Of course, he was still a grumpy bear but some of his usual anger and despair seemed to have died down. He was more relaxed and even more open to discussion. After all, when he was with you, and that you thought Bruce or Batman should have been better, you always let him know without sugarcoating it. He appreciated it even if it was quite a humbling down experience for him as well. More than once he hinted that he would love to have you working at Wayne Enterprises by his side, but you didn’t want to date someone who would also be your boss. Bruce didn’t answer back that if you were getting married one day, he could easily make you co-CEO.

After a few more weeks, Alfred told Bruce that maybe you could come over to the manor. Bruce hadn’t brought you at first because he knew you would have felt uneasy and judgemental there. And then, he wasn’t too sure he wanted you to meet his family. He had no idea how his children would react to you. 

And even if he loved them, he didn’t want anything to ruin your current relationship. Especially now it was getting obvious to everyone that you weren’t a one night stand, you weren’t just a girl Bruce fancied, you weren’t just some fun for a little while. It was obvious that Bruce Wayne was falling in love. Hard. 

And everyone was whispering about it behind his back, sometimes teasing even him right in front of him (but his deathly stares always made them shut up).

More importantly, everyone was curious about you. 

Of course the children easily found you and followed you around to discover who you were. They hated to admit it but you did seem like the perfect match for both Bruce and Batman. You were fearless, you were intelligent and kind. You were a true detective yourself.

They learnt about your past. They felt like you could understand them too. You knew poverty, you knew violence, you grew up with bad people surrounding you, and yet you decided to be a good person. You decided to stay and to fight for Gotham, even though you could have ran away. And they loved to read your merciless articles about Bruce and Wayne Enterprises. Of course, you calmed down once you started this relationship, but gosh they found some pretty good punchlines they loved to use against their mentor.

During the day, Bruce called you and offered to eat at the manor for once. You understood it meant that your relationship was getting even more serious than you thought, which worried you a little bit. It wasn’t your fault if you were a wild cat. You asked if he was going to introduce you to his family and he laughed.

“I didn’t have time to tell them how to behave around you, so not this time, love. Just you and me.”

“To behave around me?” you asked

“I’ve never presented anyone to them before. Not officially at least.” he explained

“But you want me to meet them?” you hummed

“They ask a lot of questions about you, and they love your articles, so I’ll guess at some point we’ll have to.” Bruce replied

“Sounds good to me… I just need to get ready for meeting all of them. You really need to stop adopting children, Bruce” you teased

“Can’t promise anything” Bruce admitted and you groaned

Unfortunately, the night you were supposed to eat and sleep at the manor was a very busy night for Batman. Alfred was kind enough to start chatting with you. He finally sat down next to you as you both enjoyed some tea while waiting for Bruce. You went along quite well and Alfred went to bed that night, very grateful for whoever sent you on his master Bruce’s path. You were some fresh air in the manor.

It was late in the night when Batman, Nightwing and Red Robin went back home.

Dick and Tim absolutely wanted to greet you and they sneaked into the dinning room as Bruce was quickly showering and taking care of his wounds. Tim was observing you with interest as Dick was being his charming self.

“So you’re the girl” Dick said

“People generally call me Y/N” you replied with a raised eyebrow and Tim chuckled

“Haven’t you read what she wrote about Bruce and Wayne Enterprises, Dick? Be careful, she might kill you with her words” he teased and you laughed

“Do you still stand by what you said despite the fact you are now dating Bruce?” Dick asked with a tilt of the head

“Oh yeah, Bruce is still a rich traumatised guy with a saviour complex, who adopts too many kids each year. The Brucie persona is complete bullshit and I still roll my eyes when I hear him use that voice” you nodded

“That voice?” Tim asked

“The “I’m the good son of Gotham so let me help you” voice” you replied with a roll of your eyes “Gosh, what an actor” you added and both the boys started laughing.

They instantly liked you.

“Why are you with him then?” Dick asked and you hummed in thought

“Despite everything, it seems that Bruce is actually… likeable and interesting”

“You seem disappointed?” Tim commented

“In myself? Yes, very much. In Bruce, well I’ll give him some time” you winked

The boys laughed again but they hoped Bruce wouldn’t actually disappoint you. You were such normalcy, fun and happiness in the man’s life. They were certain you could bring a lot of joy in the family too.

They knew you cared about him a lot more than you were saying when they saw how you got up and checked on Bruce when he entered the room.

“I’m sorry I’m late… Well I guess you were doing well without me” Bruce arched an eyebrow at the four of you; Dick, Tim and Alfred were smiling.

“Oh yes, I was just speaking ill of you, hon” you teased “All good?” you asked and he nodded

“Always when you’re around” he whispered to you before kissing you. 

It was the cue for everyone to leave the two of you alone. Bruce and you forgot about everyone else anyways.

--

PART 5

--

Taglist for all my work <3

@blublock404

@wind-canoe

@silverklaus

@couldeatthatgirlforlunch

Taglist for Bruce Wayne <3

@alishii

Taglist for this series <3

@Esposadomd

@moraxussy

@resident-cryptid

@legendarypiratecheesecake@randomnamedmira

[glisten-inthedark]

Stranger Things ships | Understanding, Love and Hope

One pattern I've noticed in all the ships of the show when it comes to what they're showing us, telling us and what's implicitly there.

Lucas and Max

Lucas and Max's relationship evolves during season 4 and we see how Lucas can now grasp the pain Max was in, he can admit that he knew something was wrong but didn't fight her on it when he should have.

He stays steady by her side, and he alongside all of the people she loves, are enough to give her hope.

Lucas doesn't make her feel more guilty, or more broken. Instead, the memories she has of him, the love she feels towards him, makes her feel like she can escape, that all she has to do is run towards the light. That she can persevere in spite of all the pain she was in.

Lucas makes Max feel seen.

Hopper and Joyce

Hop wanted Joyce to feel safe in Hawkins, he wanted her to believe that city could still be her home. He wanted to be by her side, and he could understand her grief and her pain and could listen to her without patronizing her about it.

But, he could also admit when he was wrong, when he was being stubborn and not listening to her.

And Joyce... All she had to do was get one weird doll with a message to believe Hop was alive, in spite of all the evidence to the contrary. In despite how seeing things go down the way they did, she still somehow knew it was him.

Joyce didn't need any more proof, and she never stopped looking for him and hoping, knowing, she'd find him.

Jonathan and Nancy

Jonathan understood Nance's guilt over Barbara's death, he understood the weight she carried even though she never told him about it.

He never made light of it, never made her feel like she had to fake, instead he gave her the chance to do the opposite of that. He listened to her when no else would, and they understood each other without having to communicate verbally more often than not.

More than once, we see Jonathan lying so he can allow Nancy tk be happy, even if it means sacrificing his own happiness.

Mike and El

We are shown, very early on, that Mike and Eleven don't understand each other. And how could they, when she spent all of her life stuck in a lab?

But as time goes on, we learn they still don't understand each other at all. Mike doesn't understand El's deepest fears, her insecurities.

El doesn't acknowledge the bullying Mike has been a victim of most of his life.

They talk to each other, but they don't communicate and to be frank they don't seem to make an effort to understand each other.

Mike doesn't even go after El every time she's upset with him or about something else.

Mike literally makes El feel bad about herself, he makes her feel like he doesn't love her because he doesn't show he loves her. El literally talks about how she she felt like Mike was scared of her, it doesn't matter that he wasn't, what matters is that how he made her feel. Like she's a monster, a mistake.

Another point is that we are shown, also early on, that Mike has in fact stopped looking for El. He never searched for her, he called her, but he never went to freaking woods in a attempt to find her.

Mike doesn't listen to Eleven, he doesn't even make an effort to understand where she's coming from, to empathize with her.

We are not shown Mike fighting for El, or even wanting to fight for her. We are not shown him understanding El or hoping for her.

In fact, we are shown the opposite.

Mike and Will

Ok, this is me being unbiased ok? I swear.

From the onset, Mike doesn't stop looking for Will. It doesn't matter that there's a body, it doesn't matter what they say, he doesn't stop. He knows, deep in his bones, that the boy isn't his Will, and doesn't stop looking for him until he finds him.

Mike can apologize to Will without anyone demanding that from him like we see happening in season 1. He can admit to being in the wrong, to acting like an self pitying ass.

Will understands Mike's fears. He understands the core of who Mike is without Mike having to say anything.

Mike makes Will feel like he's not a mistake, like he has the strength and courage to fight. He makes Will feel good about himself, and Mike doesn't feel like Hawkins is home without Will there.

Will lies so Mike can be happy, he sacrifices his own happiness for Mike's.

Mike makes Will feel hope.

Mike can't help but hope when it comes to Will.

[hood-ex]

i am SO glad you mentioned dick/helena because their dynamic had so much potential and could've been so intriguing in the hands of the right people, in fact it WAS - greg rucka briefly touched upon it in his novelization of no man's land and even that llittle bit was incredible. how she, dick, and bruce all witnessed their families murdered at age 8, how they knelt in a pool of their mothers' blood, how they're all filled with so much love and grief and hunger for something better and the desperation to make the pain to Mean Something...

specifically in NML i love when bruce drops in on helena after she failed miserably as the bat (</3), and he brought nightwing with him as he quietly chastises her - not out of unkindness, not to be cruel or callous, but to push her far, far away from "this life" after he just saw gotham, his home, abandoned by the US government and everything he worked for come to nothing, and he KNOWS how much helena admired batman and the mythos of it but he sees vigilantism as a self-imposed curse and he's determined to martyr himself but no one else and especially not this young woman who admired him so much and whom dick, his eldest son (and new protege, tim), got close to, should be a part of that. but he's so clumsy and wrong about it so ofc helena (rightly) takes it as added insult and humiliation because at this point just the very sight of nightwing makes her feel even more vulnerable, he's the first man she got truly intimate with and close to in gotham as something approaching an equal, and there was a time when she wanted to be like him, both as a hero and as a partner to batman, and she KNOWS batman knows that:

Helena glared at [Bruce], feeling a new humiliation... of course he knew, he knew what had happened in this same apartment over a year ago, and that was why Nightwing was there. So he could see, too, so Batman could show his prodigal son the mistake that had been made, how unworthy she was of him. (~ NML novel)

...like helena basically styles herself as the underdog shounen protagonist to nightwing whom she sees as the established top dog and a goal for her to reach, and she sees them having this rivalry over who gets to serve gotham and batman LOL. having him witness her failure is just something she can't cope with:

“Huntress,” Nightwing said softly. She yanked her wrist free from his grip, not bothering to look at him, glaring at Batman. “Don’t touch me,” she said. Nightwing backed away, silent. For a long moment none of them said anything more, and Helena realized that her eyes had begun watering, that tears were starting down her cheeks, and the humiliation that had, for a moment, been buried behind her rage, reared up again.

... and i love that this is the dick grayson who has just freshly returned to gotham after all the growing up he did at college and with the titans, and he's just recovering from a failed engagement with starfire and gotten betrayed by his teammate terra and seen one of his dearest friends and teammates, jericho, get murdered by his own father, and he just wants something familiar again... like i see people criticize the batman office for "stealing him away" from the titans and i totally get it but if it had to happen i think this was very realistic (and frankly i think this would've been a great time for him to continue college/his studies and interact with a proper civilian supporting cast like he did in the 70s before wolfman decided to make him super emo but whatevs)

it just means so much to me that he doesn't know his place in gotham or in the wayne family's life anymore and he's wondering if any of it was even worth it - i mean a 15 yr old died in his robin costume for goodness' sake - but this young woman is proof that it did mean something to someone, that he and batman were heroes to this woman just like they were to tim drake, and maybe that alone is good enough, but then she's also kinda forceful and angry and desperate for justice and now he's worried that she's gonna get hurt the way barbara and jason and even starfire did!! and even more so, this woman works with children, she's a mentor and a guide to them, just as dick as robin was, and he probably feels like he'd forgotten what that felt like after so many years of having to act as the leader(TM) among even his peers, and he doesn't want her to lose that...

so that's why dick resents that bruce brought him here to witness helena's humiliation but he also can't get angry at him because he KNOWS he does it all out of love and grief even though it destroys himself and the people around him and he knows that deep down bruce is actually terrified of everything like all the time. but it doesn't make it any easier...

“Yes.” Batman paused, and when he resumed, his voice surprised Nightwing, because it no longer sounded the same. It no longer sounded like Batman. It sounded like Bruce Wayne. “I made a mess of it, Dick,” Batman said, softly. “I tried pretending things were the same, that only the terrain had changed. I knew what I was working for—Gotham’s redemption—but I didn’t know how to get there. What’s happened in the last couple months, with Gordon, with Two-Face, it woke me up.”

(...) Bruce would share what he wanted to share, when he wanted to, and that was that. It didn’t matter if Dick was angry or feeling taken advantage of. It didn’t matter that he resented like hell being made to witness the humiliation of Helena Bertinelli. It didn’t matter that he’d known damn well what was up the moment they’d arrived at the apartment, the apartment he remembered better than he thought he would.

like all these conflicting emotions are sooo compelling, i wish writers chose to address the real depth of dickhelena's relationship instead of reverting to the same old boring one-note "we slept together and it didn't work out :(" stuff (looking at you judd winick)

dickhelena anon here - i almost forgot the most important part!! ... which is that both dick and helena love their lil bro tim drake of course <3 it's so funny to me that tim adores both of them like they're his own elder siblings except he has a slightly paternalistic attitude toward helena ("be careful huntress, maybe i should handle it, lemme protect u") vs. his (at this point in canon, in NML) hero worship of nightwing.... for better or worse i think it's realistically how many little brothers see their older sister vs. older brother. and i know some fic/fan interpretations say tim would be weirded out by them two dating but nah i refuse point-blank, like in canon tim has been pretty supportive of all of nightwing's lovers (he's firmly pro-dickkory AND pro-dickbabs) but i think he's got a secret soft spot for dickhelena especially. like at least then whenever he drops by nightwing's apartment he'll also get nice home-made sicilian food!!

Yeah it’s interesting to consider that people like Bruce and Dick inspire other people to be heroes, but at the same time, they’re inspiring others to put themselves in dangerous situations. It’s a double-edged sword.

I feel like Dick could take a step back and see himself in Helena’s shoes as Bruce chastises her. Dick ofc struggles with failure, especially when he thinks he’s failed Bruce, so for him to witness a scene like that, I think he would relate to that feeling of humiliation well. However, Dick has also seen heroes die, heroes he felt responsible for. So while he might empathize with being in Helena’s position, there’s also that part of him that would want her to live a safer life, to not choose the path he went down.

What you said about Tim actually derailed my thoughts a bit to the time in Nightwing (Vol. 2) #112 when Dick asked Helena to let Sophia and Rose lay low with her for a bit. She was the only person he considered at the time. Helena wouldn’t have it, and I think it’s interesting that she knew that even if she wanted to take the girls in, she wouldn’t be able to pry them away from Dick. (Which is really funny when you think about Titans Dick and his… flighty nature at times when it came to Rachel).

But anyway, the reason I brought it up is because you mentioned Helena seeing Dick as the top dog, and you mentioned Tim, and it made me think of how Dick wanted Tim as his equal, and how Dick wouldn’t leave his two charges with just anyone, he’d leave them with someone he thought capable. Someone like Helena. Someone like Amy. But he went to Helena before he went to Amy.

[lmanburs]

something about putting lipstick on a pig, you can't edit your response like a matpat video and expect everyone to blindly believe everything you're saying despite all the documents and threads that have emerged debunking you over the past year.

[silusvesuius]

n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.

[dnangelic]

idc about allonormativity but sugisaki's handling of things is vague enough around the edges that i can still put forward the thematic thesis of 'anybody who doesn't want to be alone shouldn't be alone' and 'lives and people's souls/hearts, like art, can be freely shared with each other and witnessed in order to be good and beautiful' and that sort of thing is like almost the entire driving force of daisuke's character. to me.

[nonsupe-a]

a lot of s4 is unknown mostly cause i haven’t gone digging and it’ll probably stay that way but thinking about the fact that shiloh probably has to bury himself deep in all of vought + h0melanders bullshit to burn all ties that could lead to an easy victory for him,   stalling any process as much as he can.   having to deal with all that Nightmare aftermath of half the tower blowing up in wake of s0ldier boy and maeve.   dealing with the congresswoman immediately after.

thinking about how shiloh won’t get to rest any easier in s4.   how much more he’ll give of himself and how he’ll be even more go go go,   playing the sides to his advantage when and where he can for that end goal.

[ramblebrambleamble]

@whetstonefires thank for the tag 😊

Currently Reading: A great many words of Naruto fanfiction.

Favourite Colour: Blue

Last Song: Just a Dream cover by Kurt Hugo Schneider

Last Movie: Pass! I do not remember.

Sweet/Spicy/Savoury: Savoury.

Currently Working On: Nothing! I have chronic inability to write anything down before my brain zings to the next iteration. I am having fun though!

A TF Character + Beast Mode combo you think would be awesome: Pass! I do not desire to comprehend this question.

---

Tagging @flipflapyoutwat @fishareglorious @shadowthief78 @captain-lonagan @princerhubarb @meliohy @busy-dadzawa-fish and anyone else who feels like it.

[oc-cinematic-universe]

shaking and sobbing. joe and dara are both so fucking excited to be parents you have no idea. adopting jules didn't happen smoothly and joe is mainly their dad just by technicality, but that doesn't change the fact that joe and dara are both so excited about them being part of the family. jules moves out 3 years after they were adopted and joe and dara are immediately so sad about not having a kid in the house. and then they have kiara and every day they are celebrating her just for existing cause they love her so much. catch me fucked up in the club thinking about joe and dara being such good parents

[phantomrose96]

Thinking about Edward Elric as the Amestrian Military's specialest little unfireable boy

State alchemists can be fired for underperforming. We know this up front from the likes of Shou Tucker. And this makes a ton of sense from the homunculi's standpoint since the state alchemists are sacrifice candidates, and the homunculi would want to cull the weakest candidates and focus only on cultivating the strongest ones who stand the best chance of opening the portal.

........Then there's Edward. Who's already opened the portal.

There's no need to cultivate him. No gamble taken on whether he's good enough to open the portal. He passed the final test already. Graduated 4 semesters early.

And as such, has a free pass to do Absolute Fuck All.

And I'm imagining how funny this is from like an outside perspective.

Some newish state alchemist who'd only ever read up on the stories of Edward Elric, ready and excited to start their career of being paid handsomely with endless freedom to research and travel and do anything they want in the pursuit of science... surprised and confused to find themselves put on probation their first month for things like "ignoring orders." Which is, as best they had thought, a famous Edward Elric pastime.

Roy showing a slight bit of stress about his yearly state alchemist report, and Ed just snorting and rolling his eyes at Roy because every year HE just hastily does his on the train ride over (canon in the manga, a travesty it was left out of the anime) and it gets rubber stamped. Ed not realizing that other alchemists' reports get genuinely scrutinized and torn apart while Ed is free to turn in whatever absolute bullshit he thinks of 36 hours ahead of time. One year his report was about whether alchemy could be done via dance (conclusion: no it can't) and no one cared. Roy WANTS to tell Ed there's some kind of unknown favoritism around Ed making him literally bullet-proof but Roy has no way to phrase this that doesn't sound like he's just in denial and mad at how good Ed's train-reports are.

Guy from the Internal Amestrian Affairs sector who's responsible for auditing other internal military personel for any suspicious activity hitting about 1 million red flags for Edward Elric, issuing a STRONG and URGENT recommendation to suspend the alchemist pending further investigation into things like "literal bunk-buddies with two members of the Xingese royalty (enemy nation)" and "spent $10,000,000 of his stipend on a librarian to make her re-copy (what he seemed to interpret as?) military records in some extremely transparent effort to unearth state secrets (it was a recipe book but he was literally asking her about state secrets)" and "literally has never once obeyed an order, ever, not even once in his career, and is on public record having said 'I do not care about the goals and protections of the Amestrian Military. I am in fact only pursuing my own interests several of which are diametrically opposed to the safety and well-being of the governing body of Amestris'"

The issued recommendation is intercepted before it even reaches its intended desk. President Bradley himself has taken issue with it and denies it before a single set of eyes has seen it. The President's veto stamp is a terrifying hammer, used rarely, and it is now sitting on the auditor's desk.

The auditor sleeps with one eye open from then on out.

[ozzgin]

Just read your arranged marriage kidnapped by a most post and the humor in the servants always thinking reader is in peril. The same going for monster hubby (He just thinks they're submissive and breedable)

Like none of them realize they are a moster fucker cause they hide it so well. Like just imagining reader be like "oh be gentle with me I'm a dainty maiden" and then giving him the night of his life is hilarious. Or them having dinner and the servants feel bad for them cause monster hubby is eating human meat but their just thinking about other things he can use his tongue on.

Or maybe someone comes to rescue them from the terrible monster finally. But they don't wanna leave and instead fight the knight off. The knight thinks they've been brainwashed or something. Meanwhile the servants think the knight just wasn't good enough to rescue them.

Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance, NSFW! [Part 1] | [More Monsters]

The servants are not blind by any means: they can tell, quite plainly, that their monstrous Lord has a soft spot for you. Not only that, but the beast nearly worships you! They've come up with many theories, the latest one involving witchcraft. Surely you must have some sort of magical trickery under your sleeve in order to subdue their Master. There's no other way around it. All previous humans have been devoured, or have died in a pitiful attempt to escape, terrified to the bone upon gazing at his blasphemous Majesty.

You can't blame them. It's probably better for everyone involved if you omit the fact that your source of witchcraft lies in your...genitals. Well, not just that, of course. Your husband had started to lose hope. His appreciation of humans never came to fruition before your arrival. He was expecting you to cower in fear, not throw yourself at him.

He wondered if you wanted something from him in return, but no one could possibly pretend so flawlessly: the way you clung to him unprompted. The way you hungrily took him in, tears welling in your eyes, refusing to let go until you could feel his load avalanching down your throat. The way you'd trap his hips with your legs, despite being weak and feverish, asking that he doesn't stop yet. If that wasn't proof enough, your whines and moans were loud and clear. To think he could have his own little human, one who isn't repulsed by his monstrous form. He would've been content with mere tolerance, yet someone who begged to be fucked by him? He's been delirious ever since.

He loves everything about you, naturally, but he can't deny the shameless addiction he's now developed towards your body. He'd pound you anywhere and anytime if he could. If he needs to leave for official matters, know that the return will burn in the back of his mind.

"An important date, Sir?" one traveling servant will ask, glancing at all the scribbles in the calendar.

"Indeed", he answers solemnly. It's the times when he can finally fuck you dumb.

While the servants worry about their devilish Master being put under leash, for the other fellow humans the opposite seems to be true. You recall your last "rescuing" attempt distinctly. During one of your evening walks, burly, foreign arms swept you off in an instant. Before you knew it, you were holding onto the armored shoulders of an unknown man, as he made his way out of the traditional garden.

"I'll get you out of here", he promised between heaving breaths.

You stared in confusion. What was he saving you from? A good dicking? No matter how much you explained that you do actually like your newly appointed husband, the hero wouldn't budge.

You ended up just walking back home when the man fell asleep.

"That was quite the long walk", your monster partner remarked, polishing his weapons.

"Oh no, I was kidnapped", you state casually. "Got us some fruits on the way back."

Would it have been better to lie about it? On one hand, you do feel terrible for whoever attempted to retrieve you from the claws of the tyrant. Your husband is very possessive, and you know he'll scorch the Earth until that treacherous pest is gutted and fed to the pigs.

On the other hand...he becomes particularly savage after such incidents. You won't be able to sit properly for the next few weeks, but it's worth it.

Tough luck, you tell yourself, lounging in bed with a satisfied smirk and torn apart hole.

[satoruxx]

pairing: toji fushiguro x reader | 1.6k words summary: boyfriend!toji headcanons, fluff, soft!toji, grumpy x sunshine, he’s a simp but he’ll never admit it !! rheya's note: grumpy man being soft for the person he really loves? i’m here for it. mamaguro is literal proof that he can and will love !!

bf!toji who is silent with his care for you. he's not one to be open or dramatic about his feelings, but you bet he'll show them in actions. small, mundane things that could only be picked out under critical eyes—like quietly placing an extra mug of coffee next to you as you work, or being the one to walk closest to the street, fingers firmly clasped around your palm. if you point it out he'll just grunt, shaking his head with a quiet "keep walking" all while pretending to ignore your silly little grin.

bf!toji who isn't really the type to be big on words of affirmation, but huge on physical touch. you tell him you did well on a project at school or work and he just hums, giving you a little nod. he doesn't say anything else—doesn't really have to because the soft lingering pat on your head is enough to tell you that he's proud.

bf!toji who is an aggressive yet affectionate lover. if you're doing something and he's not receiving your attention he will come up behind you and put you in a headlock. he thinks it's an appropriate response considering how much he craves your attention and company—why on earth are you focused on something that isn't him anyway? so be prepared to have his heavy bicep playfully curling around your throat or slinging you over his shoulders at random times—it's his way of telling you he misses you. and if anything, he'll do it to hear you whine and attempt to shove him off.

bf!toji who will absolutely take your phone and change your lockscreen to pictures of him. every so often, you'll turn your phone on and see an entirely different picture—sometimes a picture of him at the gym, other times a picture of him blocking out his face—but it's always him.

bf!toji whose own lockscreen is always something that's related to you. he's sneaky with it, always stealing pictures of you when you're not looking. he's got a separate album with them—probably hidden behind a password because it's something only he should be allowed to see. but whether it's a snapshot of his hand intertwined with yours or a blurry image of you fast asleep in his bed, it's always you. because of course you’re the first thing he should be able to see when he turns his phone on.

bf!toji who, as cliché as it sounds, is exactly the type to go feral if someone's made you upset. and he's freakishly observant, noticing even a slight pinch of your nose or wobble in your lips—he's caught them all. whether you're just down or outright sobbing, he's there, standing in front of you with pure anger weighing heavy on his brows. and yet for all his rage he's nothing but gentle as he firmly takes your face in his calloused hands, muttering a strained "what the fuck happened?" as he forces you to make eye contact with him. his own eyes will dart over your features, searching for discomfort or any other emotion as you explain, barely holding back his own emotions because there's no reason on the fucking planet that you should be upset at all.

bf!toji who rarely says the words "i love you" not because he doesn't but because the words themselves don't hold all that much meaning to him. no he'd rather spend his time proving it to you than just saying it for the sake of saying it. but, sometimes if you pretend to be asleep long enough, you'll catch him quietly whisper the words into your hair, almost like he doesn't want anyone to hear it. don't even bother trying to call him out for it—he'll deny deny deny.

bf!toji whose eyes flutter when he lets you trace over his scars. not just the one cutting over his lips but the ones that litter his back and torso—battle remnants that he doesn't remember much of. he's always hated the look of them, indifferent to old memories of a much more chaotic time in his life. but when your gentle fingers graze over the raised skin he'll sigh, oddly quiet but yet so comfortable.

bf!toji who will drop everything if you need him. don't ever hesitate to ask him for things because you're scared of being a burden—he will yell at you (affectionately). you drank too much with your friends and can't get a ride? call him and he'll pick you up even if it's 4 am. you're feeling nervous about walking home from the convenience store even though it's only ten minutes away from home? stay put and he'll come get you so that you can walk back together. shut up about all that "it's an inconvenience for you" bullshit—he'll do it and that's that.

bf!toji who asks if you've eaten today, and when you answer with a sheepish smile he'll click his tongue, crossing his bulky arms over his chest and giving you a pointed glare. then he'll say "get your ass to the kitchen. c'mon, up." while hoisting you to your feet—most of the time he'll just pick you up and plop you on the counter himself.

bf!toji who wordlessly makes you something to eat, whether it's a quick snack put together with leftovers or an actual full meal. then he'll stand in front of you with the plate and demand you eat. even a slight word of protest and he's scowling, already holding up a spoonful while grumbling a low "don't wanna hear it. open up, kid."

bf!toji who hates when you fall asleep on the couch waiting for him to get home. his job doesn't allow for the comfort of a strict schedule, and he's told you this many times. but you're nothing if not stubborn, and he can only sigh heavily as he sees you dozing against the armrest when he pushes the door open late at night. he'll click his tongue quietly, hooking both arms under your back and knees to cradle you against his chest before walking to the bedroom. though some part of him is pleased, knowing that you seem to care about him enough to make sure he's coming home every night.

bf!toji who glares at anyone who even breathes in your direction the wrong way. some guy eyeing you while you're walking on the street? toji looks like he's ready to rip his head off. some "friend" of yours asking too many questions about why you're dating a man like him? well…if looks could kill.

bf!toji who pulls you into his lap when he kisses you, because he likes the way you fit into his space so perfectly. he won't ever admit how it makes him swoon when you giggle against his lips, instead choosing to tighten his grip on your hips and pull you closer to his chest.

bf!toji who enjoys watching you sit on the kitchen counter and swing your legs back and forth—finding it so unbelievably endearing that he ends up just standing in between your legs and burying his face into your neck. his lips will map chaste kisses across your skin, and he'll hide a wry smile as your quiet giggles wash over him.

bf!toji who will notice when you eye something at a store, whether it's a pretty piece of jewelry or a new sweater or whatever—he keeps note. and then weeks later, once you've forgotten all about it, he'll come home and drop a bag into your lap before shoving his hands into his pockets. when you open it and start gushing about how much you wanted it and how pleased you are, he'll huff and turn away, muttering a low "whatever, kid. 's not a big deal."

bf!toji who sees you upset about something, and loops his bicep around your neck and tucks you under his chin. to an outsider it doesn't look like the most comforting form of a hug, but it's toji, and he's secure and he's safe and he's all the comfort you need—a tight squeeze that grounds you in a way that you can't quite describe.

bf!toji who will never admit how interested he is in your gossip. his ideal way to destress after he comes home is to sit on the couch with you in his lap, your arms looped around his waist as you press yourself against his torso and tuck your head under his chin. and even though his eyes are trained on the tv, he has no clue what's going on—he's more focused on the drama you're spilling or whoever you're ranting about. and he makes it known too, occasionally asking "then what happened, baby?" and adding in a few sounds of disbelief. by the end of your rant, he'll be saying something along the lines of "what a fucking bitch," or "honestly he deserved that," and then asks for updates on the situation over the next few days.

bf!toji who silently watches you trace your fingers over the lines on his palms. you're blabbering about something, tucked against his chest as his other arm remains wrapped around you securely, but he's just focused on your hands. it scares him a little bit—the difference between you and him. his palms are calloused, rough with battle and death, while yours are soft, clean of the horrors he's determined to keep away from you. and a small part of him tells him he shouldn't taint you with all his faults, that you deserve someone more capable of loving than he is. but then he feels you brush your lips over his scarred fingers and he sucks in a breath, tightening his grip imperceptibly. even as he hides a half smile against your brow, he knows he isn't going anywhere.

[atalana]

genuienly adore that the era of gravity falls meta is back, and like... i'm thinking again about just how mad bill is that stan beat him, and the really extreme lengths he's going to right now to affirm his belief that stan is worthless and nothing and doesn't matter

because like, yes, stanley tricked you, and that's a blow to the ego when you clearly only saw one of the stan twins as having any intelligence at all

but like the other thing about that moment, of the twins swapping outfits, is bill has the ability to read minds

he's not someone who should be able to be tricked like that at all!

the only exception, the person whose mind he can't read, is ford's, bc ford bill-proofed his own head

if bill had done even the bare minimum of checking before agreeing to that deal, he would have easily been able to tell which stan was which

but he didn't try to read stan-dressed-as-ford's mind, because he assumed he wouldn't be able to, and he doesn't need to to understand ford anyway

and he didn't try to read ford-dressed-as-stan's mind, because he assumed there was absolutely nothing in stan's head that could ever pose a threat to him

so of course you're trying to prove that stan is truly worthless, because it's the only thing that justifies the colossal mistake you just made

(and i do think it's fun that bill knows how to manipulate ford, or dipper, or mabel, we've seen him do all three, but despite the fact that bill has literally been in stan's head, he keeps reminding us of that fact, stan is the one person he will never understand)

[propertyofwicked]

BITTER - LN

summary - lando and y/n will go to any length to piss each other off, which works well as long as she doesn't mention another man.

warnings: smut! MDNI!! doggy (who am i??), oral (f! receiving), lowkey hate sex but honestly it's just a miscommunication trope. NOT PROOF READ

song rec - bitter by fletcher

masterlist the playlist

she loved her job at mclaren. race days, office days - she loved all of it. except for one thing.

lando was that one thing. she got along with all the team members but him, and she didn't really know what was the problem, it just never clicked between the two of them.

"talking to your boyfriend?" he asked as he walked by her, noticing the hurried typing on her phone.

“….no?” she replied, half disinterested in the incoming conversation, half defensive.

"then why are you all giggly while staring at your phone then?" he asked, smirking as his plan to piss her off was working - he loved to piss her off.

“and why is it any of your business?”

“just curious is all,” he smirked as he came to stand next to her desk, leaning against it while his arms were crossed against his chest.

“why?”

“just is,” he said, smirk widening. he then glanced over her desk, curious to see what she were typing, trying to peer at her phone screen, “ooooh, is it about me?”

“of course it is,” she replied, grinning sarcastically, “because obviously i don’t have anything better to do on my paid hours.”

“well obviously, have you seen me?” he joked, using his hands to gesture to himself.

“meh - i’ve seen better.”

he raised an eyebrow, a curious look in his eyes. he then pushed away from the desk to stand in front of her, towering over her.

"oh really? who?”

“i mean, have you seen oscar lately?” she replied, hiding the smirk that so desperately wished to rise on her face as she tormented him.

“sure, i’ve seen him,” he muttered slightly bitterly, as rested an arm on the desk next to her, leaning down slowly till he was level with her ear, “bet he couldn’t fuck you like i could.”

and with that he stood up once more, spun on his heel and left the room, leaving y/n to sit in her own thoughts, a blush rising from her cheeks.

and the thoughts stayed with her for the rest of the day, on the cab journey to her hotel, on the ride up the elevator to her room, and as she sat trying to distract herself with mindless scrolling.

she wouldn’t deny lando was an attractive man, no. but would she ever give him the satisfaction of letting him know that? most definitely, but not without a little reluctancy. such reluctancy that had her hesitating outside of his hotel room door, raising her fist to knock then lowering it quickly as she reconsidered her options.

lando had just gotten out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist while his hair was still damp when the sound of the knock on his door echoed through the room, making him frown slightly as he went to answer it.

when he opened the door, he saw y/n standing in front of him, a surprised expression appearing on his face.

"hey. what are you doing here? is everything ok?" he asked, slightly concerned at her unusual quietness.

“prove it.”

he looked confused for a moment, having no idea why she was here. but, seeing the determined look in her eyes flipped on the lights in his brain. she wanted him to prove himself, prove that he could do better than oscar. smirking as he stood to the side, he let her into his hotel room before quietly closing the door and trailing behind her. he noticed how nervous she looked, sitting on the edge of his bed and fidgeting with her hands.

lando walked over to the bed, standing in front of her. his eyes never left her body as he stared down at her, wearing only a towel around his waist that highlighted the water that clung to his torso, something that her eyes tried not to linger on for too long.

“see something you like?” he teased. his ego inflated more when he saw how her cheeks gradually reddened under his gaze. lando chuckled lightly at her embarrassment, before taking a step closer to tower over her and lean down, his face close to hers.

“so cruel,” she almost whined, raising her gaze to meet his. his hands reached out to her face, grabbing at her jaw, and tilting her head slightly as though her were weighing up his options. he knew he had her right where he wanted her, and he loved it. he relished in the power he had over her.

he leaned down, kissing her gently, slowly - his soft lips moving against hers, gradually gaining confidence with every moment. he wanted to savour this moment. his hand moved to rest on her waist, the other remaining on her jaw as he swiped his tongue across her low lip, desperate for more.

lando’s body trailed down hers, nipping at her neck, kissing his way down until he sat on his knees in front of her.

“is this ok?” he asked, so desperate to taste her that his nerves slipped out with every word, though she only nodded in response, “words, angel.”

“yes, fuck. please,” she mewled, nodding as she did and eliciting a satisfied hum from the man kneeling in front of her. in that moment she felt like a goddess, and god did lando think she looked like one - half convinced if he looked up at her face quick enough, a halo would appear around her head.

“up,” he prompted, hands tugging at the waistband of her shorts, urging her to raise her hips enough for him to drag them down her legs, her underwear in tow, taking his time for what she supposed was dramatic effect.

“beautiful,” he whispered, his breath fanning the expanse of her heat sending a rush of ice cold blood through her entire body. he gave her no time to react before his tongue swiped through her folds, briefly circling around her heat but not enough to elicit the pleasure she craved so desperately, “taste so good,” he added, though his mouth turned to her inner thigh, nipping at the skin lightly as his hands gripped her legs, pushing them up to her chest.

he ate her like a man starved, a man desperate to prove himself, a man who was convinced that if this was his last meal on earth, he would die a happy man. her legs wriggled in his grasp with every flick of his tongue, every nip of his teeth on her inner thigh, but he just gripped at her flesh harder, keeping her legs still.

lando could feel her getting closer and closer to her high. he was enamoured by the way her legs tried to clamp closed around his head, caging him in, but he never relented. his tongue lapped up at her slick, flattening against her clit before slowly dragging the tip through her folds, circling her sensitivity. he pulled back to catch his breath, loosening his hold on her legs momentarily as he brought his face up to look at her.

her eyelids were heavy, her chest heaving as small pants and whines fell from her lips. her face had screwed up slightly, desperately holding onto the rising pleasure in her stomach that had been halted.

“please,” she begged.

“patience,” he reminded her, running his fingers down the skin of her thigh softly, “need to feel you. you want that? you want me to fuck you?” he added, egging her on to keep begging for him as his fingers returned to her clit, dragging the bud through his fingertips. he loved it, he relished in the power.

“please lando,” she panted out, staring down at him, “need you. need you to prov-”

“fuck off with this “proving myself” bullshit y/n,” he huffed, rising to stand in front of her once more, a playful anger in his tone, “when im done with you, you won’t be able to think about any one else again.”

his hands grabbed at her waist, turning her over quickly and pulling her hips backwards to meet his. his movements were harsh but god did she love it. lando leant over her frame, his lips pressing soft, deceiving kisses to her shoulder blade.

“oscar this, oscar that,” he muttered in her ear, grabbing his cock in his hand and sliding it through her folds, “don’t even need to fuck you to prove i can make you feel better than he ever could.”

she smiled at the thought. why was he so driven by the thought of proving himself - she’d only jokingly mentioned oscar to piss him off and clearly it was working. his tip pushed at her clit momentarily as his slid his length through her folds, covering herself in his slick. she whined out for him, wiping the smile from her face.

he pushed into her slowly, feeling the way her walls clamped around his cock at the intrusion before loosening, allowing him to take her fully, their skin connecting for a moment as her hand reached around to grab the hand that rested on her hip, urging him to pause whilst she caught her breath.

“what’s the matter baby?” lando questioned, voice laced with genuine concern despite his previous demeanour.

“too big. need a moment,” she breathed out, relaxing her muscles to accommodate him. lando couldn’t help the smug smirk rising on his face, knowing the effect he had on her.

“s’ok angel. i’ll go slow - okay?”

“mhm,” she murmured, rocking her hips back into his slowly to set her own pace, “fuck. move.”

his hips rolled into her slowly, jutting slightly when his tip hit her spongy walls, watching as her head dropped to the pillow, resting on the side, her mouth parted as she breathed through it. her hand finally dropped his, allowing him to return it to her hip, holding onto her for leverage as his thrusts quickened, cock slipping in and out of her with ease as she opened up for him.

“feel so good y/n,” he grunted, his fingers trailing down her skin, a hand stretching the expanse of her ass cheek before gripping at the flesh harshly, “look so pretty filled with my cock. sound so good when you’re moaning my name.”

“as opposed to complaining about everything you do?” she quipped back, taken them both by surprise at her level of coherency.

“i love when you get pissed off at me,” he grunted, lifting his hand up to plant a light smack across her flesh, “love to know you’re thinking about me,” he continued, grabbing at her skin quickly before slapping at the skin again.

“keep going,” she babbled, face turning into the duvet cover to silence her moans.

“what was that angel? i didn’t catch that,” lando’s voice let slip the smirk on his face, “you like it when i take you from behind?” he cooed.

“fuck yes. feels good.”

“speak to me baby, who makes you feel like this?”

“you, lando, you,” she moaned out, beginning to shake around him as her high approached, bringing him closer to his.

“no one else?”

“no one else,” she echoed, unable to think for herself.

“good girl,” he muttered, grabbing at her waist to hold her still as he fucked into her, resorting to using her body to get himself off. lando could feel the way she tightened around him, watching intently as her back arched for him, pressing herself impossibly close as his thrusts quickened, heightening in intensity.

“you gonna cum for me, angel?” he grunted, thumbs stroking gentle patterns into her skin, opposing the brutal snapping of his hips that echoed around the hotel room. she couldn’t even respond before she was shaking around him, rocking herself slowly into him as his hips faltered, allowing her the chance to catch her breath as she chased out the remanence of her pleasure.

“so good,” lando grunted out, “take me so well,” he continued, rambling as her heat squeezed at his length, luring him into orgasm. he pulled out quickly, pulling his cock through his hands a few times before watching as ropes of cum shot from his length, painting her back with intricate design.

he reached down quickly grabbing his towel from earlier to clean her up as her body collapsed in a pile on his bed, thanking the high heavens that he was in a hotel and would be able to request a new towel, no questions asked. manoeuvring her body, lando laid next to her, pulling her naked frame into his embrace and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“it’s interesting,” she uttered after a few moments of silence.

“what is?”

“you’re the one that brought up fucking me better than oscar could,” she replied, smiling, “i never said anything to the contrary and yet somehow just the mere thought got you so riled up.”

“…isn’t it obvious?”

“what?” she echoed his previous confusion.

“i want you. and i want to be the only one you want,” he replied bluntly, as though it was a fact, “so if i get riled up by the thought you with someone else - shoot me, i guess,” he added, shrugging nonchalantly.

[flowersforbucky]

acquainted

bucky barnes x reader (undercover stripper reader x undercover bodyguard bucky)

warnings/tags: SMUT, oral (male and female receiving), vaginal penetration, language, strip club setting, creepy dude being a piece of shit, violence and a brief mention of blood, protective/possessive bucky, reader is afab, no use of y/n, touch her and die trope, Bucky might have a slight lingerie kink... 18+ only!

word count: 3.3k

author's note: wow okay this kind of got away from me. this is probably the filthiest thing i've ever written. felt my heartbeat in my pussy while writing this. hope you enjoy!

The pulsating fuschia and lime green strobe lights illuminating the club had been making your eyes throb for the last three hours. EDM plays so loudly that you're surprised blood doesn't trickle down from your ears. Not to mention the suffocating combination of cheap perfume, body odor, cigars, and booze that permeates the air makes your empty stomach churn.

If you never step foot into another nightclub when this is all over, you'll consider yourself lucky. Not just any nightclub - one of New Orleans’ scummiest strip clubs.

Five goddamn nights of this operation and not a lick of progress.

Your objective was simple - obtain proof that the owner was operating a sex trafficking ring out of the club, and then call for the back-up squad parked a block away. So far, you had not been able to acquire any kind of definitive proof. No hints of anything shady going on behind the scenes, and you had yet to even see the owner make an appearance at any point since the mission began.

Everything seems as above board as a strip club can be.

One last night, you compromised with Fury. One last night and if it went as the last few have, you were done, and he owes you a few days of paid leave for putting you through this.

“If you don't stop picking at your garter belt, it's not going to have any sequins left.” Bucky's low voice murmurs through the communication device placed discreetly in your left ear.

“If you don't stop watching my every movement, you’re not going to have any unbroken toes left,” you threaten lightly, taking a sip of your drink - just a Shirley Temple, to keep up appearances. “Shoes like this could do a lot of damage.” You glance down at the pointy heels of the black velvet stilettos.

“Is that not my job?” he counters. You don't have to look over at where he's standing in the corner of the room to know he's smirking. “To not take my eyes off of you?”

“Then do your job. Watch me. You don't have to make comments on my sequins to do that.”

“Alright, alright,” he concedes. “I'll be over here, admiring your sequins from afar. You won't even know I'm here.” The com line clicks off before you can retort.

Except you absolutely would know that he's here. Just as you have the previous four nights of this mission - painfully aware that he's here, tracking your every movement in the skimpiest outfits you've worn in your life, doing the most provocative dances imaginable, and flirting with men that you wouldn't touch with ten foot long poles in real life, all while he keeps to the sidelines in case something were to go wrong.

Keeps to the sidelines and just watches you. Even when one of the dancers approached him to ask if he'd be interested in a private dance once he's off the clock on the first night on the job.

Even when there's gorgeous, topless women crawling on the stage and all but humping the pole in his direct line of sight.

He isn't here to look out for them, of course. He is here solely to keep you safe if things were to go sideways. But you had assumed you would have caught him sneaking glances at the dozen other women at least once by now.

It's almost your turn to go up on stage. You've performed a solo set every night so far, and you still feel every bit as nervous as you did the first time.

You enjoy dancing, actually. In the comfort of your own room, when listening to music alone. When you go out with friends, occasionally. When you took ballet lessons as a child. This, however, was leagues out of your comfort zone.

“The creep from a couple nights ago is back,” Bucky's voice is a strained whisper in your ear.

“Gonna have to narrow it down a bit for me, Barnes. You could be referring to at least half of the men in here right now.”

“Sitting in front of the stage, to the left,” he mumbles back. “He's wearing a red wife-beater–”

“See him,” you interrupt, your eyes zeroing in on the short, stout, beady-eyed fuck who had been thrown out of the club night before last. One of the other security guards on duty chucked him out when he repeatedly got too handsy with one of the girls who had been giving him a lap dance.

“Fantastic,” you huff under your breath, as you finish touching up your lipgloss and reapplying the iridescent baby pink body glitter across your chest. “Just in time for my dance.”

You get up from your seat at the bar and adjust your lace bustier and thong as the announcer calls your stage name.

“He won't lay a finger on you,” Bucky assures you as you're walking up the steps of the platform.

There's a weak round of applause and a few whistles as you take your place on the center of the small stage. You give a vague nod in the direction of the DJ’s booth to indicate you're ready for your song to begin.

An upbeat but sensuous synth-pop song pours out of the speakers throughout the room and you begin to sway your hips.

You're hyper-aware of the fact that you can see Bucky making his way closer to you, away from his position in the back of the room. He settles when he's just a few tables behind the man in the red wife-beater.

There's an eruption of butterflies in the pit of your belly at how close he is. Each night prior to this, he has kept to lingering around the exits and the far wall towards the back of the club. Now, he's close enough that you can actually see his eyes following every languid movement that your body makes around the pole.

“Take your fucking top off!” a grating voice bellows from the audience. “We want to see your tits.”

You don't have to look to know who the voice belongs to. You decide to ignore him, hoping he would stop if you didn't give him any attention. You go to wrap your thighs around the pole again, preparing to spin–

“Did you not fucking hear me?” he shouts even louder this time, audible to everyone over the roaring music. “I said take your fucking–”

A flash of movement in your peripheral vision causes you to freeze around the pole. You turn your full attention to the ruckus, just in time to see Bucky fisting the man's greasy, shoulder length hair and pulling his head back. The music comes to an abrupt pause.

“You don't fucking talk to her like that,” Bucky snarls. “In fact, you don't talk to her at all, you don't look at her, you don't even breathe the same fucking air as her.”

The man is thrashing around, trying and failing miserably to get out of Bucky's grasp.

“Let me go you fucking–”

He doesn't get to finish his sentence before Bucky snaps the man's head forward, sending his face crashing into the granite tabletop.

The instantaneous pool of blood that contrasts so starkly against the white stone snaps you out of your fear-stricken trance.

Bucky pulls his head back up, forcing the man to look up at him.

“It's not my fault she refuses to show off those perfect–”

You all but jump off the stage - miraculously not breaking an ankle in the six inch heels - and rush over to where Bucky still has the man's hair yanked into his fist.

Just as Bucky is beginning to shove the man's head downwards again, you place both of your hands on his chest, gently but effectively shoving him backwards. He immediately releases his grip on the man as the other few security guards on duty arrive to detain the pervert.

“Hey, hey,” you place your hands on his biceps, trying to turn his attention to you and away from the man who he's still glaring after, as he's hauled off by security. “I'm fine, yeah? Everything is fine,” you try to assure him, though you're not sure your shaky voice sounds very convincing. “He's just a creepy, entitled asshole.”

Noticing that Bucky is shaking beneath your touch, you rub your hands up and down his arms in hopes of calming him down.

He finally meets your gaze. He doesn't say anything for a moment, just stares at you as he takes a few deep breaths.

“Go get dressed,” he orders you calmly after a moment. “I’m getting you the fuck out of here.” You want to leave too badly to even think about objecting.

You make a beeline for the changing room, where you throw on a sweater and force your pants over your heels, not even bothering to change out of the lingerie and stilettos.

Bucky's waiting for you right outside the door as you sling your duffel bag across your shoulder.

“How mad do you think Fury will be that we are abandoning our positions?” you ask in a hushed tone as Bucky ushers you through the club, his metal arm wrapped around your waist.

“Not as mad as I am that he's had you doing this bullshit for no reason for almost a week now.”

You and Bucky exit the club as quickly as possible, ignoring the curious and confused stares of the other dancers and security guards. He guides you down the block, then through an alleyway where his motorcycle is parked in a heavy silence - other than the obnoxious clanking of your heels against the pavement.

Bucky straddles one leg over the seat of the bike, taking his place in the driver's position and then hands you the helmet.

“Wait,” you pause before putting it over your head. “I'm starving.” Your stomach growls, as if on cue. “Can we stop and get some take-out?”

He looks at you incredulously. “I just shattered that guy's nose and likely severely concussed him and then just dipped. Our cover is essentially blown, don't you think we should get back to the motel room and lay low until the morning?”

“There's a Chinese place open late just a few blocks from the motel–”

“If I say yes will you put on the helmet and get on the bike?”

Taking that as a win, you slide the helmet over your head and hop on behind him. You wrap your arms securely around his midsection in a tight hug and he takes off down Bourbon Street.

You spend the drive trying to ignore the thought that of all the times you've ridden on the back of Bucky’s motorcycle, you don't remember him ever feeling so tense beneath your touch.

Half an hour later, you're lounging on the rickety motel bed, stuffing your face full of sweet and sour chicken and vegetable fried rice while Bucky fills Sam in on what happened over the phone.

He sits in one of the small chairs at the singular table in the corner of the room, his posture rigid. He answers all of Sam's questions with clipped, one-word responses as he massages his temple between his thumb and forefinger.

He hangs up the phone, refusing to meet your gaze. Instead, he pretends to be interested in the episode of Family Guy playing on the old motel TV.

“Your egg rolls are going to get soggy,” you tell him, pushing the to-go box across the mattress towards him.

“I don't have an appetite right now,” he says, picking up the box of food as he stands. You grab his bicep in your hand as he begins to walk past where you're sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Hey,” you say, stopping him. “Everything's okay. Really. Don't let that guy get to you–”

“A little late for that, don't you think?” He snaps, pulling his arm from your grasp. You sit back, too stunned by his reaction to know how to respond. You just stare after him as he crams his take-out box into the motel room's mini fridge.

“I shouldn't have reacted so harshly,” he says after a moment, still facing away from you. “I couldn't stop myself. He spoke to you that way, and I could have killed him and not thought twice about it. Probably would have if you hadn't intervened.”

He turns back to you. You're frozen in place.

“Do you know what that's like?” He asks, taking a step closer to you. “To feel like you aren't in control of your own body? To be so irrationally protective of someone that you'd kill for them without a second thought?”

You feel like all air has been stripped from your lungs. He's just inches away, staring down at you from where you sit on the edge of the mattress. The way he's looking at you makes your skin feel like it's on fire.

“Because that's what you do to me. That's how you make me feel.”

Heat pools between your legs.

“Come here,” you say - it sounds more like a question than a command.

He closes what little distance is left between the two of you, and pulls you up from the mattress by the tops of your arms so that your body is flush against his.

His mouth hovers over yours - not quite making contact, though you can feel his breath fan across your skin.

He takes his flesh hand and cups the side of your face with it, his thumb trailing across your bottom lip. His metal hand wanders down your back until it reaches the curve of your ass - grasping your cheek in a firm hold and squeezing until his touch borders between pleasure and pain.

“This is what I wanted to do to you every time I saw a man so much as glance in your direction in that club,” he whispers against your mouth. “I thought about bending you over the stage and making them watch me take you right then and there, but they didn't deserve to see that.”

“They aren't here to see us now,” you murmur as you bring your hand to cup the noticeable bulge of his jeans, eliciting a hiss from him. “So what are you going to do now?”

There's a dark grin spread across his face. He pushes you, softly but effectively, back down on the bed. You scout back a few inches on the mattress, and then bring one of your feet up to remove the stiletto heels that you'd completely forgotten to take off upon returning to the motel with your haul of Chinese food.

“Oh, no,” Bucky laughs lowly. “I want you to keep those on. I've grown to like those quite a bit.”

Your cheeks warm in both arousal and bashfulness. You begin to push your pants down your thighs as Bucky kneels on the ground and helps you maneuver the fabric around your shoes. The sweater that you threw over your bustier goes next.

You're left in the lingerie set that you wore at the club.

“Call me jealous,” Bucky sighs as he begins trailing sloppy kisses up the insides of your thighs. “Call me possessive, call me crazy..”

You lay back down against the scratchy comforter as Bucky gets closer and closer to where you're aching to have him the most.

“But I don't want anyone seeing you like this but me.”

He pulls the already soaked lace material of your thong to the side, exposing your cunt.

He licks up your center torturously slow, causing you to let out a sharp exhale. He repeats the motion, and then locks his lips around your clit. Your hands shoot to his hair, fisting your fingers through the short brunet strands.

He eats you until you're a mewling and squirming mess beneath him.

You come hard, clenching your thighs around his head and riding his face through your orgasm.

“Stand up,” you instruct him as soon as you can think semi-clearly.

He obeys without any hesitation. The warm glow of the singular lamp in the motel room highlights the way your slick coats the lower half of his face.

You get up on your hands and knees before him and he lets out an audible groan at the sight in front of him. He bends down enough to kiss you - cupping your face in both of his hands and tipping your head up to give him a better angle to slip his tongue into your mouth. You moan into the kiss - the ache between your thighs reappearing already.

He removes his hands from your face, unbuttoning his pants while still kissing you.

You pull away to help free his cock from the confines of his boxers. Your mouth waters at what's directly in front of you. He's impressively long and girthy, with a thick vein running up the side.

You pump him a few times in your hand, swirling your tongue around the pre-cum dripping from his slit. He's already putty in your hands - groaning above you and placing his metal hand around the back of your neck to keep you where he wants you.

After you've run your tongue up and down his length a few times, you spit on the tip of his cock and massage it over the entirety of his shaft before taking him as far into your mouth as you can in the first go. He throws his head back, moaning your name.

You feel him hit the back of your throat and you gag before pulling back.

He curses under his breath, nudging himself slowly back towards your throat again.

“Such a good fuckin’ girl,” he praises and you moan around his dick. He gradually increases the speed at which he pumps himself into your mouth, obscene noises echoing off of the thin motel room walls.

When he pulls out, you feel drool running down your neck and mascara-tinted tears leaking from your eyes.

“You're so gorgeous like this for me,” he tells you, and despite knowing that you look thoroughly fucked out, you believe him. “Will you turn around?”

You do as he asks, turning around on your hands and knees. You lower your chest down to the bed so that your ass is angled upwards.

“Jesus Christ,” he grunts under his breath. He grips your hips with both of his hands, yanking you to him. His erection juts against the cloth of your underwear.

He tugs them aside once more, giving him access to tease your slit with the head of his cock. You rock backwards, grinding against him. He brings his flesh hand around your stomach and reaches down to rub your clit as he begins to slowly fill you from behind.

He pauses for a moment once he bottoms out, giving you time to adjust to the fullness of him before he starts fucking into you.

The combination of him slamming into you at such an intense angle and massaging you so perfectly has your climax building shamefully fast.

You grunt his name, bouncing your ass to meet his thrusts. “I'm gonna come,” you mewl, knowing he's on the verge of doing the same as his movements become uneven.

One, two, three more pumps and you can feel your pussy clenching around him as you come together.

You pull off of him, collapsing onto the bed and rolling onto your back. He crawls over you, propping himself up on his arms above you.

“You know,” he stares down at you, his eyes trailing to your breasts that are now spilling out of the black lace bustier. “As much as I hated every second of that mission, I do hope I might get to see you in some of these outfits again.”

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