#write clear concise content

[motherbloggerandwriter]

Blogging 101 Do You Have a Blogging Addiction?

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[disabilityawarenesspride]

How to Write an Image Description: A Fundamental Guide.

[Plain Text: How to Write an Image Description: A Fundamental Guide. End PT]

General Guidelines:

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Object, Action, Context

[PT: Object, action, context. End PT]

This is what you want to prioritize. What are we looking at, what is going on, and what is the surrounding environment?

Keep it simple and get to the point

[PT: Keep it simple and get to the point.]

Try to use short, clear sentences and prioritize what the reader needs to know in the context of the post. We don't need to know that the tweet was posted at 2:08AM or what color rings someone is wearing. That doesn't really provide useful information. If you really want to provide some relevant details, be sure you get to the main point of the image first.

Context is Important

[PT: Context is Important. End PT]

Why is the image posted there? What information does it lend to the content around it? Make sure the viewer knows what they need to know to understand how the image relates to the text and content partnered with it.

For a meme or a tweet screenshot, we don't need to know all the details or what the background looks like, we just need to understand the joke. For something like art or photography, you may want to include more details.

Don't Assume

[PT: Don't Assume. End PT]

Don't assume gender, race, and pronouns of the subject(s) of the image. If you can find this context in the post, on op's blog, or somewhere else you can include it, but try not to make baseless assumptions.

Alt Text vs Image Descriptions

[PT: Alt Text vs Image Descriptions. End PT]

Alt text is great for people using screen readers, but it isn't always the most accessible option. Alt text can be glitchy, the font size cannot be changed for those who need large text, and it doesn't show up at all until the image either loads or completely fails to load.

For this reason, a longer description in plain text in the body of the post is a more accessible option.

I suggest a short summary in the alt text so people can get the overview of an image and a longer description in the body of the post. For example, compare the image description and the alt text for the following image:

[Image ID: A guide to writing alt text on images. At the top, it says "Writing Alt Text" in big white text. It then lists off five major steps to writing alt text. Identify who, expression, description, color, and interesting features. It then shows an image of a capybara, with a sample alt text that reads, "A capybara looking relaxed in a hot spa. Yellow yuzu fruits are floating in the water, and one is balanced on top of the capybara's head." with each block of text color-coordinated to show which of the five steps it corresponds to. At the bottom of the image is the word "Puzzle" stylized into a logo. End ID.]

The Alt text provides the bare minimum of what you need to know to contextualize the image, while the ID expands on details that help to understand it and provides more details.

Formatting:

[PT: Formatting. End PT]

Try your best to use correct spelling and grammar, but transcribe accurately. Use clear language and concise sentences where possible. However: Don't censor words or correct spelling when transcribing something from the image. You want the description to be as accurate to the image as possible.

[PT: use correct spelling and grammar, but transcribe accurately. End PT]

Always use plain text. Never use formatting like bold, italics, other fonts/font sizes/text colors, or text in all caps. If they appear in the original image, transcribe it in plain text like this:

[Bold, underlined] Always use plain text. [End bold and underlines.]

Begin an ID with square brackets [[these]], followed by "ID:" or "Image:". End the description with "End ID" and a closed square bracket ] to signify the end of the descriptions.

Screenreaders and visually impaired people sometimes struggle with symbols and emojis. Transcribe these instead when possible!

[PT: Transcribe these instead when possible. End PT]

The image description should be directly after the image, before any post caption or commentary.

Never use a readmore! If you delete the post or change your url the description is gone forever. It also makes the ID harder to reach in general, which is not accessible.

[PT: Never use a readmore! End PT]

Make your post accessible from the start if you can. Don't post something without an ID then reblog it with a description so that people have a chance to spread the inaccessible version of the post if they "prefer" the one without the "clutter" of an ID. That's ableist. If you post something without a description then end up describing it later, edit the ID into the original post.

[PT: Make your post accessible from the start. End PT]

Resources:

[PT: Resources. End PT]

The People's Accessibility Discord Server: I will always suggest this server! It's full of people that can help write descriptions, give feedback on IDs you've written, answer questions about accessibility, and more!

Online OCR: Image(/PDF) to text converter! This is really helpful, especially for transcribing text in tweet screenshots, article excerpts, etc. You will still have to do a bit of work formatting and correcting things sometimes, but it's a really helpful tool

CaseConverter: Good for converting lots of text in all caps for plain text transcriptions.

Meme Image Descriptions: This google doc has descriptions of many common meme images and templates!

Some simple Image Description formats: tailored largely for replies and screenshots from social media.

WebAim: A whole website for web accessability!

Online Accessibility Masterpost focusing on image descriptions from tumblr user @anistarrose. This has a ton of good resources, reading, and tips!

Reading & Guidelines:

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Cooper Hewitt guidelines for image description: This focuses on describing art, but it's a fantastic resource. It gives a good description on the distinction between alt text and long descriptions and gives guidelines for each. It's a pretty concise and easily comprehensible read with a lot of good tips towards the end.

Medium's How to Write an Image Description: Concise and helpful. The origin of "object, action, context".

Diagram Center Guidelines for Image Description: I really suggest reading through this. It gives a much more comprehensive understanding of what is important when writing a description and has different sections for help describing all sorts of things like photos, art, comics, diagrams, charts, math, chemistry, and more! A longer read, but it has a lot of specifics.

Perkins School for the Blind how to write alt text and image descriptions: Another great resource! Concise and helpful, shorter than Diagram Center's articles.

SiteImprove's Alt Text Best Practices: Focuses on Alt text not long image descriptions

Last Call Media- Accessible Comics: Great info for describing comics!

American Anthropological Association's Guide for creating image descriptions: an additional resource on IDs just because

Some tips from Tumblr user @keplercryptids! I reiterated a lot of these points here, but it's still a very helpful post!

General guideline from @can-i-make-image-descriptions and @accessibleaesthetics

Alt Text and Image Description Guide by @brownandtrans

Huge list of blogs that post accessible content!

And another google doc of accessible blogs!

If this post was too much information to read and absorb all at once, I suggest reading the first two links as well as some of the last few links that lead to Tumblr posts.

[PT: If this post was too much information to read and absorb all at once, I suggest reading the first two links as well as some of the last few links that lead to Tumblr posts. End PT]

Those probably have the most concise and easily digestible information, so choose one of those. If I've said anything incorrect in this post, please let me know so I can correct it ASAP! Thanks so much for reading and happy describing!

[thesirenisles]

Mars’ Warriors

𓃭 aries 𓃭

✨💥planet energy, mythology & astrology obsvs✨💥

Aries Sun, Aries Rising, Venus, Mars

mars dominant, mars in the 1st house

Mars ruled.

Mars- Ascendant aspects, Sun-Mars Aspects

Strong Mars placements, Aries Stellium

✨💥“Her enemies had fallen. Sanguine showers painted the Earth a ghastly ruby hue. Wailing cries of defeat created a victorious symphony of which she savored…. cackling up at the heavens.”𓃭✨💥

Do not steal any of my original work & writing. Photos are either from Pinterest or collaged by me. All rights reserved. © 2024 The Siren Isles | Leave a tip if you enjoy!

✨Majestic Martian,

Ruled by the blood-red planet of Mars, you blaze a path on this Earth with an unwavering air of confidence.

✨💥Regal is the word that comes to mind.

Never needing reassurance, you literally believe you have already won before ever touching the battlefield.

Mars has blessed you with an innate, instinctual battlelust... an energy that inspires some, frightens others, but entrances ALL.

While everyone else contemplates... you act. You win the battle and even after you've won... you're still not satisfied.

✨💥You crave the next battlefield.. another King to slay.. another display of your hard-earned glory and greatness.

Even though January starts our calendar year, March begets Spring, the season symbolizing the beginning of life. Is it no surprise this month is named after your planetary ruler and the beginning of the zodiac?

Mars the planet is named after the Roman God of war and battlelust (Ares to the Greeks, Sekhmet to Ancient Egyptians) The Greeks deemed him the spirit of battle and child of Zeus and Hera.

With this energy, you have a natural, primal and intrinsic ability to tap into pure... red... RAGE. ✨💥 𓃭

While it sounds a bit frightening, this manifests as an incredibly useful gift in so many avenues of life. A Martian or Aries will always be ambitiously setting goals, achieving them, and writing more before they can catch a breath.

✨💥You have the spirit of a winner. You do not even fathom the thought of failure.

You move through life aware of the power of every single person in your immediate space, ready for someone to challenge the crown that you bled for.

This may be due to having literal experiences being attacked, bullied, and just… bothered. Your energy is akin to Plutonian/Scorpio, whose ancient ruler is Mars.

The element Fire clarifies and you are Cardinal Fire! You're literally blazing the trail. 🔥

A natural debater and concise communicator, you often find yourself defending yourself and others. (Always going to clear the room! Esp. to defend the ones you love. I love this for you all).

You have probably been admonished for your bold nature and aggressive style of communicating by adults, teachers, and maybe even... employers.

✨💥But, you are just being real. Your energy thrives in authenticity.

You hate being given orders and have probably fought hard to get into a career with relative freedom... this could manifest as entrepreneurism or content creating.

✨💥 She who mauls... 𓃭

The Mythology of Mars

While attempting to gain understanding of the energy of this sign and pIanet, I discovered the very simliar origin story in the Ancient Egyptian, Sekhmet, ("She who is powerful"). The goddess is depicted with the head of a female lion and ruled the desert sun, war, total chaos, and healing. I do want to clarify. This is not a male lion with the extravagant afro (symbol of Leo.)

Sekhmet manifests as a female lion because they are the fierce protector and huntress within the pack or pride, literally embodying primal female rage.

A female lion mauling is much like aftermath of a Martian or Aries temper explosion. It's not always a defensive energy, but a prowling one where the Martian sets its' sights on an easy mark.. or prey.

This could be a person or a task.

Egyptian mythology states she was created from the literal wrath of the sun God, Ra.

✨💥As the story goes:

Disappointed with the ungrateful treachery of men, Ra conspired with Set, God of Chaos to harness and manifest the wrath in which he felt... creating the embodiment of female rage, Sekhmet.

The stunning maiden possessing the spirit of war, is unleashed upon the people of Ancient Egypt, mauling anyone in her path until the waters of the great river ran...red.

Sekhmet was insatiable and her bloodlust lasted days.. She literally maniacally drank and gorged herself on the blood of the people. (Think: Akasha, Queen Mother of Vampires, in "Queen of the Damned")

Ra attempted to stop her, but being a daughter of the Sun... his powers had no effect. This drunken slaughter lasted until Thoth (Mercury to the Romans, Hermes to the Greeks) God of Trickery finally convinced her to drink wine under the guise of blood. The Goddess drank and fell asleep, calming the spirit.

✨💥I believe this is a valuable lesson anyone with dominant Mars energy has already learned quite a few times. You must utilize caution and strategy before rushing in.

✨💥THE ROMAN CIRCUS

On one hand, this is bad betch, rockstar, DIVA energy that can cosmically entrance the senses.

On the other... it can get a bit delusional…

✨💥 When I think of Aries energy, I think of the Roman Circus... (The Circus Maximus: Chariot Races, Gladiators, Live Animals, and Drunken Splendor.)

The event lured in many..under the guise of a celebration and glory. In reality, it was a grotesque sacrificial blood offering.

✨💥 To win the Roman Circus... was to suffer and harm many others. So, was it really a win at all?

This can be applied to the life struggles for some Martians or Aries who pursue a person or thing that is projecting a false but glorious image with everything they’ve got.

✨💥 I once knew an Aries sun who would always fall into silent competition with others girls because of just ONE Libra male in our social circle.

The Libra was a shameless flirt and seemingly a ladies man. However, he was very nonchalant towards the Aries sun... unresponsive to her direct energy. (Air sign men🙄)

She attempted numerous times, throwing very unsubtle hints sprinkled with arrogance. She knew that she was beautiful and wondered why he did not respect it.

✨💥 As beautiful as she was, she could not take the rejection. Aries HATES to lose. She needed to win.

Unbeknownst to the Aries sun, the guy was actually in the closet! Hiding his sexuality, he would only show his interest to women he knew weren’t interested... It was all a show and he was only projecting for societal benefits!

I share this story because I see this re-enacted amongst Martian and Aries women too often.

✨💥 In the spirit of battle, you set your sights upon who you deem as the most masculine man/woman or the one with the most options... because you want them to choose you above all.

You need to win. He becomes your Roman Circus. 𓃭✨💥

(Think: ariana grande & other people’s man; 1H mars 👀)

This happens to Martian men too… often rushing into a woman’s life before reading the fine print… only to have a cataclysmic collision of short-lived passion. 🫣

While I do applaud healthy competition, the female Martian complex often leads towards the Aries woman being trapped in a mothering role supporting a loser she only got because he used to be “the hottest guy in her area and everyone wanted him". (Giving major: Peaked in highschool mental vibes🤮)

✨💥You have a natural need to asess and rank a room according to power... or perceieved power. Badly aspected or unevolved Mars & even Pluto can make you exert force over those you deem weak.

However, those you perceive as powerful or heavily sought after seem to capture all of your romantic attention.

You want to conquer the most manly man and be the fierce queen at his side.

However, this desire comes from a need to feel glory. So people can become trophies… i.e. trophy wife or trophy husband.

HOWEVER, The problem with a "100% manly man… Toughest Hood Niiga… Greek God" archetype is that most men with these aesthetics did nothing to really gain them because they’re born handsome or are literally aware of the power of their own aesthetic!

Because your assertive energy is so direct and rivals that of a man at times… you can attract those pretty boys who are benefiting from male-pretty privilege & female sexual projection (i.e. the hottest and buffest guys girls assume will be the most sexual etc. NATE JACOBS CORE LOL)

✨💥Always remember… a less capable man is going to overcompensate!

He’ll be a knock-off designer... a fake… a fraud... and I am sorry to say, but I feel the biggest risks are (an unevolved Aries😭, Libra, Sags, GEMINI or Leo men...)

Not all of them, but they do have the tendency to exaggerate or be performative with their manhood. Pisces does this too, but they are not fooling an aries LOL.

✨💥This can become that gross Mommy and Son energy I mentioned. Eventually... if they are lucky.. the Martian can snap out of their bloodlust daze to realize this guy was just acting... Any additional mental manipulations is what can create a toxic bond which is draining over time.

This relationship dynamic will be fun at first but it fizzles out when you realize he has the maturity of a child!

✨💥Run away from the man who puts on the show, ladies! It's what I call.. the Roman Circus.

With this energy, you can definitely be a bit overbearing when you are trying to show that you care. This is never minded too much by those who know your fiercly loving heart.

✨💥 You are a queen! Remember that what’s meant for you does not always have to be won over. It can manifest organically!

You are multi-faceted. Embrace diplomacy and take time to contemplate decisions like your sister sign, Libra.

Your Martian sibling, Scorpio also teaches the lesson of patiently waiting and observing the situation before action.(No one is plotting like a Scorpio Mars 👀)

However, a Martian never stays down for long and always bounces back improved from life’s perils!✨💥

✨💥 Aries vs. Scorpio

Scorpio is a water sign, balancing out the fiery energy creating warm and inviting waves to lure you in.

Aries is a fire sign finding natural comfort in its sizzling Martian ruler and Solar energies... VA VA VOOM HOT..

✨💥The spirit of war lays waste to the lands and the God of the Underworld waits patiently to collect the souls.💥✨

𓃭

I believe Aries are our public leaders, change makers, warriors, and fierce inspiration. Their protective maternal energy is inherent and divine.

Sekhmet was equally feared and adored!

The likeness of the goddess can literally be found today in Egyptian art and architecture guarding the Pharoahs.

Much like Sekhmet and Ares, both Martian signs are an unstoppable force once in motion.

✨💥In the 1st house, Mars defines the personality and appearance. A perfect example is the feline-faced Nicki Minaj (Mars in the 1st house) on the left can be seen in what appears to be a Sekhmet inspired headress with lioness ears.

On the right… her Roman Circus🫣🙊😂(other 1H Mars women are Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande. Both have infamous love history!!)

✨💥I can literally hear Nicki’s iconic maniacal laughter… it legit sounds like what I’d imagine of blood-thirsty, Sekhmet after she’s slayed a Kingdom!

This can get a little egotistical… but she IS a queen. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I love my Martians though. You guys are so inspiring and honestly age like fine wine!! The youthful fire within you never really stops burning.

✨💥Be sure you are a productive force and not destroying all that lays in your path!

Thank you for reading! Wishing you blessings! ✨💥

@thesirenisles | masterlist | Enjoyed? Support!🧜🏾‍♀️

[manicpixiedreamedwins]

Alright. I've been talking about writing a meta about Charles and jealousy for a while, so here it is. It's a mess. I tried to make it more concise than it was, if you can believe that.

Be forewarned, below the cut we'll be diving into some canon compliant content like Charles' home life. Please, please, please note that now is the time to leave if you are not in a good space to read about those.

Okay. First I want to establish a few things before I get to analyzing the scenes, because I think it is important that we have empathy for Charles here. This might be a bit of a long preamble, but if you could stay with me I'd appreciate it. I promise I am going somewhere with all of this.

I think a lot of us have been told, perhaps by a parent or a friend, that jealousy is unbecoming or bad. Think about it. I know growing up that is a message I heard frequently even though I saw adults exhibit it. This was actually pretty confusing to try and work out. Anyway, now with this almost puritanical obsession with good pure and healthy relationships in media, it's gotten worse. We're told any human flaw we have is something we have to fix or we are not deserving of love. Yes, including jealousy.

Only if that's the case, Charles is fighting uphill here. Here's why:

For reference 41:30 -42:00 in episode 4 is the flashback that The Night Nurse shows Charles of his home. If we unpack this we can learn a lot of things, but there are two that I would like two draw your attention to today:

Charles' dad clearly isn't someone Charles could form a secure attachment to. He seems to only be acknowledging Charles when he's angry, and only acknowledging him in a very violent manner. He's also not really communicating with him, and expecting Charles to know what he's upset about I guess? Truly, this man is terrifying. He knows his family is afraid of him, and he knows they'll scramble to try and fix whatever his issue is.

Charles' mom doesn't intervene. Now, I do not want to hear any vile junk in my notes. She's a battered woman and has probably been in the same position that Charles has, considering Charles himself is worried about her once he is dead. He's worried enough that he checks in on her every week. It makes it all the more heartbreaking that Charles is the one who has taken it upon himself to try and "make it better" (although this is not uncommon among kids who grow up in abusive households, alarmingly).

It definitely drives home that there is a clear hierarchy in the home (everyone tries to please the most volatile person), and you're at the bottom of the pyramid. Even if it's just because you and everyone else in the household is too terrified to do anything about the most abusive person's behavior, you still feel the weight of never being put first. You will never be put first, because how could you be? "You never made it better than you died" (via The Night Nurse) holds a crushing amount of meaning here.

Alright. Now we have established that Charles had some messed up stuff happen at home. Let's take that a step further. Adverse childhood experiences can lead to a variety of attachment styles that are not secure and... you guessed it, jealousy can get thrown in the mix. (This link leads to an abstract of a very interesting research article. If you request the full test directly from the researcher they will provide it for free, but it takes time. The basic idea here is that if kids aren’t able to form secure attachments to their parents, then they will struggle to feel secure in their relationships as they grow up. Sometimes that can manifest as jealousy).

Still with me after all of that? You are god's strongest soldier, lmao. Now let's get into the good stuff.

Charles dies, but there in the attic he meets Edwin. Charles chooses Edwin over the blue light without a second thought. He comforted him when he was dying, and that tenderness is foreign for Charles. The choice is an easy one.

He enjoyed it, and he enjoys Edwin. Edwin, in turn, turns out to be is someone who unequivocally, continuously, puts Charles first. He also does something really important- Charles seeks reassurance, and Edwin gives it ("You ever think, what if Death did catch us? She'd force us to go to the afterlife and split up" Charles asks. "I will make sure that never happens" Edwin answers, all while they're hanging on the side of their office). This is one of the first things we learn about them in the pilot. Charles knows he can count on Edwin. This wasn't something he had from anyone in life.

So things go fine for Charles for a long while. Edwin hasn't given him any reason to feel insecure in all that time it seems. He’s done a great job making Charles feel safe. Charles even feels secure enough that it is his idea to try and integrate Crystal into the agency, although Edwin clearly hates it. Crystal isn’t a threat to his friendship with Edwin, so it would appear Charles still feels reasonably secure in their relationship at this point.

Charles even explains or excuses a lot of Edwin's reactions to try and smooth things over. He tries to mediate between them during their first plan to rescue Becky from Esther's house the best he can. He allows Edwin to have a leg of the case with just the two of them, but he tries to frame it as protecting Crystal.

But then it's Edwin's turn to shake up the foundation that their relationship is built on.

Edwin had a lot of issues to attend to this season, and he tried to deal with most of them alone. Most of the problems Edwin had to handle put definite distance between him and Charles- how couldn't they? He was being hit on, which was a very new experience for him. He probably didn't even know how to talk about that at first, as evidenced by his description of the CK speaking closely to his ear (oh sweet summer child). He also learned about his feelings for the first time, which Monty had to finish spelling out for him.

This all, however, is where we see a shift in the dynamic. It's significant.

Edwin uses magic on a cat and has to go and meet with the Cat King. Whoops. 🙃 Charles slides easily into his role as a protector, but… Edwin stops him.

Honestly, Edwin had a good reason to do this. He pointed out that cat scratches can cause serious harm to ghosts, and they were surrounded. As endearing as this was, this wouldn’t have been an easy fight. They can just talk this out, right? He gets whisked away for a few minutes to do that (and then winds up opening a bigger can of worms).

From Charles’ perspective though, Edwin doesn’t allow him to help him, and then vanishes for a long period of time. Then he absolutely won’t tell him anything about it when he does come back. Charles knew Edwin was a little mad at him in the pilot, but they were still communicating for the most part. The secrecy is a shift, and it’s not one he’s coping well with. He tries a few different ways to reconnect.

First he tries gentle. He just asks what happened from a place of concern. This might have worked actually, only I’m not even sure Edwin knows how to fully describe what happened during their encounter. He rushes through a description, and Charles still feels like something is missing. He doesn’t like that someone else has a secret with Edwin— for thirty years they’ve been connected. This feels frightening to him, and Edwin doesn’t seem particularly worried that they’re not on the same page.

He tries to pick the conversation back up later when they’re searching for the dandelion shrine, but Edwin doesn’t give any additional information. So he slides back into his role of being a protector again and defends him against the ambient skeletons, because at least he can protect him from that easily. For a moment, things almost seem normal again, but this resurfaces in a later case.

Edwin meets with CK again in episode 4. Charles is still raw after the events of the Devlin House, and now he’s just pissed. He’s hurting, and Edwin is still keeping this weird secret. They end up bickering back and forth. The bickering tells us something interesting about Charles’ concerns.

Charles: What did he want? He didn't whisk you away again? Got that bracelet off?

Edwin: I'd be back at the office right now if the bracelet was off. He wanted to know if I counted the cats, and my guess was unsatisfactory.

Charles: Thinks he can come and go... He can't show up in the middle of cases. Did you tell him that?

Edwin: Matter of fact, I did.

Charles: Can't believe you didn't tell us. I've had enough of secrets about that wankеr.

Edwin: Why are you getting so angry?

What stands out to me here is Charles is upset about a few things: he hates that Edwin is getting taken away from him by a being they can’t control (a logical fear, considering they’re running from death together). He hates that this is happening in the middle of case time that is supposed to be for him and Edwin (and their friends, who Charles trusts). He is still really upset that Edwin has a secret with someone else (I really don’t think he’d be bothered if the secret was with him).

That’s why he’s upset. Charles isn’t feeling secure. He doesn’t feel like their relationship is on good footing right now. Whether or not he knows how to phrase that or ask for support is a different question.

Onto Monty (sorry these are a bit out of order— I put them by character for this part).

Charles wasn’t aware of Monty. This probably already bothered him a little, considering the mystery surrounding the cat king, but he tried to be a good sport. Monty wasn’t outwardly threatening. He came with gifts. He seemed friendly. Charles tried to match that… only to get snubbed. Ouch.

Charles likes to claim he’s aces with other people, but he ultimately died because his friends turned on him and killed him the second he stood up for what was important to him. I think peer relationships are a particularly sticky situation for him. I think he knew how to fit in the same way he knew how not to rock the boat in a volatile home. With Edwin it was different though— Edwin just liked him. Edwin was special.

But of course yet another boy their age doesn’t like him (probably a little upsetting, considering how he died). The only thing that’s confusing to him here is he didn’t really do anything wrong— he was polite. He followed along with all the little niceties people do, even when they don’t want to. Maybe this wouldn’t have bothered him so much in another situation, but now Edwin is wrapped up with him instead of Charles. He's picked him instead (in Charles' mind).

He can’t even shake this when Monty isn’t there.

Charles tries to get Edwin's attention... and fails. so he begins to have a conversation with himself. Perhaps he was trying to make Edwin laugh. Perhaps he was trying something over the top. Still, he fails. Ultimately, he goes the broken record route and asks him the same question a couple of times.

This moment probably really hurt- there's actually no reason for Edwin to be ignoring him, in Charles' mind anyway. They're alone together. Usually they'd be talking or bantering or at least Charles would be able to get Edwin's attention. It's just that he can't, because now Edwin is stuck on that fucking book from that fucking bloke who blew him off earlier.

This was probably a little activating for Charles. Even if he didn't completely put together why it upset him, Edwin putting someone who just treated him poorly right in front of his face first is a dim reflection of what he went through in his home. Now, I am not saying Monty is anywhere near that level of bad- he's a literal cream puff. He could not kill them when his life depended on it.

What I am saying, though, that Charles perceives a subtle threat here. He's also not sure what to do with it, because he never overcame that hurtle in life. No one else ever put him first, and he never figured out how to fix that. Edwin kind of just centered Charles automatically when they met. Now he's not doing that anymore and it’s jarring and uncomfortable for him. He’s feeling this loss of stability, on top of the fact that Edwin still won’t tell him what’s going on with the CK.

"...try not to forget that we're trying to leave" is what Charles comes up with after that exchange. Edwin makes an attempt to console him finally and offers to talk, but Charles shuts it down and tells him it's that he wants to leave town. They start on a case after that.

(Note that I did this a little out of order for organization’s sake— some of their CK arguing happened during the case they went on next).

Charles does finally catch a break here. In spite of all of this, he’s missing something very important: Edwin has feelings for him. That’s probably the most pressing issue that’s gone unspoken between them.

So Edwin dresses nicely, catches Charles attention, and finally tries to initiate a conversation. Charles seems relieved.

He does assume Edwin is just trying to come out by telling him about his time with Monty, before the teethface incident. Charles isn’t bothered, since Monty isn’t really in the picture anymore as far as he’s concerned. Things are fine, it’s just the two of them again and Edwin likes boys. Wait…

... Fuck. Forgot about the Cat King.

He resorts to threatening the CK. I know lots of people have lots of different theories on this, but consider this perspective also: Monty is no longer a threat. He’s abstract. He’s a memory. The Cat King is still very real and is a thing that can come between them, has done so, and has successfully taken Edwin from him. And as accepting as Charles was trying to be in that moment, he just can't handle that (from the perspective of this meta).

Anyway, this is all interrupted by their foray into hell. Charles does rescue Edwin, Edwin confesses, and honestly I feel like that just needs to be a different thing entirely but I did type a little bit about how I think Charles interpreted all of that here.

They return. Charles is processing Edwin's confession on the roof. This whole scene mystifies me a little because yes, he didn't seem to know exactly what to say to Edwin's confession in hell (I think he did not want to ruin it by saying the wrong thing). The more rewatches I go through the more... satisfied he looks to me? He might be processing, but also he might be a little giddy that Edwin has feelings for him specifically. I'm still trying to figure out how to read this one because the lines seemed rushed but the microexpressions say so much.

Then he starts blatantly flirting with Edwin. Honestly Charles, what the fuck?(afffectionate) Truly I’m still trying to work out if he’s just testing out how Edwin reacts or if he is working through his own feelings here, but I really want more of this in S2.

That’s about all the thoughts I think I can organize on this for now without it getting obscenely long (it already is pretty long for a half baked idea that turned into a meta). Thank you for reading 🖤

[nenelonomh]

organization 101

organization is about how we gather stimuli in our environment to complete tasks quickly and more effectively. it's about arranging our surroundings, providing order, and structuring items and activities around us.

this topic can be applied in so many instances - including physical spaces, digital files, schedules, and mental clarity.

staying organized offers several benefits:

★ when you're organized, you waste less time searching for things or figuring out what to do next. this efficiency leads to increased productivity

★ clutter and chaos can contribute to stress. an organized environment promotes a sense of calm and control.

★ organization helps you allocate time effectively. you can prioritize tasks and allocate resources efficiently.

★ a clutter-free workspace (or living space) allows you to concentrate better on the task at hand.

★ organized spaces encourage healthier habits, such as regular exercise, balanced meals, and adequate rest.

but how can you stay organized?

★ start with one area of focus (e.g. closet, desk, documents, ...) and gradually expand. focusing on one area allows you to see tangible progress, and as you declutter or organize, you'll build momentum to tackle other spaces.

trying to organize everything at once can be overwhelming. by narrowing your focus, you can prevent feeling swamped. concentrating on a specific area also allows you to learn effective strategies,, which you can apply to other parts of your life!

★ keep a to-do list. you can use a planner or digital tools to track tasks - and prioritize and sort tasks by urgency. write things down promptly to avoid forgetting them.

by freeing your mind from trying to remember all of your tasks, this mental offloading allows you to focus on the present moment. you can also assign urgency and importance, ensuring you will tackle what matters most.

★ give everything a home. clutter happens when items lack designated spaces. organize your physical and digital spaces intentionally.

★ once organized, maintain order consistently by building habits and systems. regularly review and adjust your systems when needed.

maintaining daily habits can significantly contribute to staying organized.

digital files

personally, the biggest issue i have with organization is building (and maintaining) a good system for digital files. it is crucial for me to learn how to organize these well, however, as a digital creator.

here is the process:

★ create a folder structure,, and design a clear hierarchy of folders that reflect your workflow. organize files logically based on projects, departments, dates, or file types.

at the moment i sort my files as content home < links, content plan, instagram, pinterest, tumblr, youtube < scheduling, post ideas

however, sometimes i find myself with documents that don't fit any of these sections. my plan for the future is to reorganize this to be the most effective it can.

★ use descriptive file names,, and name files clearly and concisely. include relevant keywords to make searching easier

★ consider using tags to categorize files across multiple dimensions. tags enhance searchability and allow flexible organization.

this is something that i am looking to employ!

★ utilize cloud services like google drive or dropbox for easy access from anywhere.

i will forever be a notion girl,, even though it is not quite a cloud service, it allows me a similar experience.

★ make decluttering a routine. delete duplicate or unnecessary files.

★ pin essential folders to your sidebar for quick access.

physical decluttering

writing this, i was reminded of the (horrid) bedrotting trend, especially those videos where people would show their rooms with shit everywhere and mould growing on stuff. i'm aware that some people find it super hard to maintain organization or declutter - hoarding is a very real issue.

the benefits of staying organized were previously mentioned, but decluttering specifically has its own little set of positives. this includes reduced stress, improved focus, enhanced productivity, and more positive overall wellbeing.

here are some essential tips if you are struggling to get started:

choose a small area or category to begin decluttering. set a timer (15-30 minutes) and sort items in that area into 'keep', 'donate', 'trash', or 'unsure' piles.

you could also attempt a room-by-room approach, by tackling one room at a time. focus on completing each room fully before moving on to the next.

try to organize your belongings into categories (keep, donate, sell, discard) to make decisions easier.

remember - progress comes from consistent effort, and small steps lead to a clutter-free space.

further reading

i hope today's post was helpful!

as for further reading, check out these sites: ★ How to Declutter Your Home: 6 Best Room-by-Room Methods (thespruce.com) ★ First Steps to Decluttering - Understanding the Clutter - Being Minimalist ★ Productivity, Organization & Personal-Development | 101 Planners ★ Executive Functioning Skills 101: Organization | Life Skills Advocate ★ How to Be Organized - 10+ Habits - Organized 31 ★ How to Be More Organized & Productive | 10 Habits for Life Organization (youtube.com) ★ How to Be More Organized (verywellmind.com) ★ How to Organize Your Digital Files | Reviews by Wirecutter (nytimes.com) ★ Master How to Organize Digital File Management (riverfy.com)

❤️ nene

image source: pinterest

[d4niellez]

think of me once in a while. | t. fushiguro

❦ warnings: minors and blank blogs do not interact, not canon, dark content, character death (reader), reader has unnamed illness, cuddling with a dead body, implication of unprotected sex, barely any dialogue

❦ a/n: i don’t usually write angsty things for personal reasons but it’s due time to try so i’m putting this man in a situation. if anything isn’t tagged right pls let me know <3

Toji thinks of two things as sits and watches the color from your face drain and your chest begin to still.

What he could’ve possibly done to lose another woman he loved, and how to move on with it again.

He wanders into the abyss of his mind. At first, it feels like trudging through a thick fog that slows him down as if his own brain is warning him to go back. Thoughts hazy and slow, not in a concise stream. He pushes on and eventually the haze clears. He remembers his first wife and how his heart turned to ice after she died. Then he remembers how you warmed it again, but now you’re gone too.

Toji shakes his head and swallows until the lump in his throat dissipates. He tries to think of normal things. What he’ll have for dinner, what to watch on tv tonight, if laundry needs to be done. He quickly finds that you’re still invading his mind. You should be there to help him cook, You should make him watch one of those stupid romcoms he abhors, and you would always know when laundry was needed.

He looks down at your face again and notices how even the dull colors around you are beginning to look brighter in comparison. Toji still watches you intensely, as if by some miracle he’ll see your chest begin to rise and fall and the color return to your skin again. After a minute when you’re still frozen, he covers your face with the sheet on the bed and steps outside. Not before squeezing your cold hand one last time.

The walk to the front door feels like an eternity and he doesn’t know if his mind is moving slowly or if it’s physically him. The walls of the hallway feel like they’re getting tighter, closing in on his broad shoulders. He closes his eyes and walks faster until he reaches the door, hastily pulling it open and letting go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

It sickens him to see the wilting red spider lilies creeping up from the garden. Almost like they were making a mockery of you by dying off too. He knows spider lily season ends when the summer does, but it still feels too personal in the moment. Toji has half a mind to walk to the garden and rip them out straight from the root, but he knows you’ll scold him, or you would have.

“Do you know why I keep those spider lilies out there?” He was never the kind to enjoy pillow talk, but he could listen to your voice for hours. Especially when your warm body clings to him and he can feel his cum running down the insides of your thighs.

“Those red things?”

“Yeah, those ones.” He nods and smiles down at you, lifting his arm up for you to shift your body from half way on top of him to all the way.

“Do you remember the day we met in June?”

How could he not? He remembered bumping into you on that excruciatingly hot day. He remembered the cream colored sundress you wore and how it seemed like your mouth ran a mile a minute talking about god knows what. Toji was honestly too busy taking in the features of your face and the curves of your body that were only illuminated by the blazing sun.

He doesn’t say any of that to you, though, he just nods again.

“I was looking for those spider lilies when we met. Even though they have a horrible connotation, I’ve always loved them.” You lay your head on his chest and he sees the corner of your lip turn up in a smile, he mirrors it.

“Anywho, after we went our separate ways, I started to see them. Not immediately, but randomly. In sidewalk corners, flower boxes, just unusual places. Do you know what that usually means?”

“Beats me.” You laugh and it’s music to his ears.

“It usually means we’ll never cross paths again, but I didn’t want that. I wanted to see you again. You were cold, but intriguing. The muscles helped too.” It’s his turn to laugh and he subconsciously flexes the peck your head rests on.

“So what’d you do?”

“I’m so very glad you asked. I started collecting them whenever I saw them, and soon enough I had a beautiful bunch of seven, a lucky number. Do you remember when we saw each other again?”

He nods and smiles, catching on. “July 7.”

“That’s right! So in some way I believe that those lilies wanted to bring us back together instead of keeping us apart. That’s why I collect and grow them annually in summer, as a reminder.” The enthusiasm in your voice begins to waiver and your body begins to relax into him more. He runs a hand up and down your spine and watches the goosebumps rise on your skin.

“What do you think about that, Toji?” There’s a million different complex words he could use to describe the bliss your sleepy form brings to him, even more to describe the story you just told, but he settles on simplicity instead.

“I think it’s beautiful, just like you.”

He feels you smile against his skin before you finally drift off.

Toji feels a warmth sensation begin to fall down his cheek. He’s crying. For the first time in a long time, he’s crying. His hands are shaking and he feels the awful ache crawl back into his throat before he finally lets himself succumb to his emotions. He rests his head in his hands and lets the tears slide down his face and form small droplets in the soil beneath him.

He doesn’t know how long he sits like that. He does know that his head is starting to feel to heavy for his hands and it makes him feel like a child again. He also knows that he’s starting to shiver from the breeze.

Toji picks his tear-stained face up to look at the sky. The sun is shining, but the warmth doesn’t reach him. Like he’s been punished to just look instead of touching. He begins to wonder if he even deserves to feel the warmth of anything. Maybe he’s the common denominator as to why he lost two women to death. Maybe he’s cursed and anyone who gets close pays the price.

He soon realizes that his eyes have moved from the sky and were staring at the red lilies again. Focusing on the wilting tendrils on the flower for so long that he can no longer see the shape and just see red. The same shade as the lipstick you used to wear.

Toji’s mind bounces around again. Traversing deeper into the void that is his inner thoughts and he soon notices that he’s not staring at the lilies anymore, but past them into the similar void of the garden. He could just up and leave. Abandon the house with you in it and start over again like he’d done before. It was the easy way out, and Toji was used to taking the easy way out.

It makes him wonder even more if he really is a bad guy. If everything was just a facade that even he had tricked himself into believing. He’d fallen back into old ways with his first wife, he’s bound to do it again with you. Bound to once again become the cold man he tried to change now that no one is here to hold him down to earth. Maybe he doesn’t have a curse, perhaps it was just him all along.

The chill in the air still feels like it’s deep in his bones. Penetrating his skin to keep him in a perpetually shivering state. He knew the summer was ending and the cold was starting to push its way in like an invasion, but he swears it was still warm yesterday. Even though his finger tips were beginning to ache and turn red, he still refused to put on more layers. Instead he opted to sit in the cold until his extremities began to feel all the way numb. A punishment to himself.

He does eventually push his body to head back inside, but he finds that the house is still just as cold without you. His feet pull him in the direction of the kitchen for some water and it’s there he notices that the dishes have piled up and there’s no cups for him to use. It was usually you that washed the dishes, but your illness slowly stripped that away from you. Toji suddenly felt the urge to vomit and cry again at the same time before he pulled himself out of the kitchen again and decided to do the dreaded task of calling in the death.

He’s been through these steps before. Holding the phone do his ear and he taps the knuckles of his free hand on the table below. Answering there mundane questions as quickly as possible before hanging up and feeling the sense of dread begin to creep up his spine again. For the first time in his life, he feels genuinely lost. Unsure of his next steps even though he has a million different ideas cycling in his mind like a carousel stuck to turn eternally. The thoughts continue to spin in his head as he walks back into your shared bedroom and stares at the sheet that your body lies under.

He circles the bed and slowly climbs into his side, careful to not disturb your body. Just like how he’d do when he came home late and you were sleeping. Though you’d always wake up no matter how meticulously he climbed in, now it pains him to see you not even stir.

Your back is facing him and he can still see the curve of your waist under the thin sheet. His hand reaches out the gently feel, fingers just ghosting the fabric, but he can still feel you. Even though your body is now freezing and beginning to stiffen. His face softens for the first time since you’ve officially passed, and he finally gets an idea of how to continue on without you.

He’ll take it slow, one day at a time. Living his life for you to not let his heart freeze over again. Though for now, he rests his head beside yours and finally closes his eyes. For even though the summer is over and your body’s cold, it still feels like home.

[miquellaluciscaelum]

Apparently publishing posts is like a form of therapy for me and a way to deal with the emotions from the dlc.

The topic of Miquella in no way leaves me, it literally rents free in my mind 24/7 and I keep going through all the options, trying to find some meanings hidden and not, and come to terms with what we got.

It would certainly be a lot easier if people weren't screaming from every corner about how Miquella is evil, Griffith, "it was clear from the beginning", "justice, apologies for Mogh and Radanh" and all of that.

I think it would make me feel better in a way if I spell out how I feel about Miquella, his plot, and the denouement. The first thought is, of course, disappointment. And it is still significantly present. It is difficult to describe in a short and concise way what exactly I am not satisfied with, so I will write what I missed and what I would have preferred to see instead of what we got.

✨Miquella is essentially a central figure in the story and narrative, but there is very little content directly related to him. In the main game we had that one direct phrase (presumably) from him in the description of the Golden Epitaph, a sword that again (presumably) was created by him and got his Unalloyed gold needle but that was the main game. In the DLC, he's literally the plot, the driver of all events, the main mystery we've come to solve. And he wasn't enough. We have his crosses plastered all over the map that give us phrases about renouncing the flesh, but it's literally the same sentence repeated in different ways. It doesn't give any lore other than that Miquella is renouncing himself for the sake of divinity. There's not much to investigate. It would have been enough to add at least one more sentence each slightly more revealing of Miquella's inner world and his feelings as he cuts off parts of himself somewhere on the edge of the world with an unknown future looming ahead. Something along the lines of "Here I renounce my flesh and blood. My heritage that has always weighed on my shoulders and the sins that have stained my soul." or "Here I renounce my heart. The love for those who have been forgotten and abandoned is still hidden deep within." Or add some dungees, maybe at least one legacy dungeon, like a castle or a fort, centered on Miquella, with a boss at the end that would add lore to it. The only bosses we get lore about him from are Radann and Saint Trina with her boss and I'm not happy with that.

✨I also generally missed the interaction between the Shadow world and Miquella. In terms of the fact, outside of interacting with NPCs, that are related to Miquella, his presence in the world is absolutely not felt. This applies to literally everything. Some of his crosses are located in plot significant locations with other bosses or npcs, that are not related to the main plot, but are related to the Shadow world, and Miquella softly speaking very much affects the Shadow world with his presence, but there is no mention of him. The only one I immediately can remember who mentions him is Count Ymir. This doesn't mean I demand that the whole story and world focus on him, but in terms of depth of immersion and elaboration of the world it breaks the unity of the setting, as if everything that happens is two parallel universes.

✨The denouement itself is not satisfying. The game does not treat Miquella as a full-fledged antagonist (as it is with Radagon, Radanh, Rykard or any other boss in the main game), giving us a bossfight with him, where a unique atmosphere of the character would be created, his lore would be given due credit and most importantly - THERE WOULD BE A CLEAR REASON WHY WE ARE FIGHTING HIM. We literally do not even get rune for Elden ring from Miquella, what is there to talk about.

And game also doesn't make him a "friendly" ally - companion - nps like Melina or Ranni, giving the player no choice or variation at all in the terms of ending. Apparently there was supposed to be another ending along the lines of Ranni's ending, given Miquella's vow in the cut content, but for some reason that was cut. What's the point of it? Miquella's story would have been much better told in quest form, where we could talk to him as a companion, have direct dialog. What we have in the game is not a quest, but an exploration of the world with an extra lore mystery to boot.

✨I don't like the way the game deals with facts. And there are two main reasons for that. First, the game has almost no appeal to facts from the main game. If it was announced that dlc game was about some original characters in the world of elden ring, that's one thing. There would have been new lore introduced about the new characters that would not conflict with the lore of the main game, but complement it. But a character with an already written and fairly elaborate lore from the main game was taken as the basis, whose story is framed within it. And when for the entire game there are no references at all to that lore, fundamental to the character, and the new lore, conflicts with much of what was in the main game, that well, doesn't speak well of the game. It's not even about Malenia or Godwynn. I could also mention the mystery of Miquella's blood, the events of the Shattering, his beef with Outer gods, the connection to Ranni and Melina through the ring and summoning bell.

And second, the game is very noticeably vaguely ambiguous. Especially in key events that define our point of view of the character. I can directly see Miyazaki asking the writers to make all the events so murky and full of white holes that the community just fights each other over lore. Like they say if you want to piss someone off in Souls fandom, tell them they got the plot wrong and you'll never hear the end of it. There's a very simple example with Mogh. We get it, yes, he's the main poor battered boy who no one loved, everyone used him. He just built something of his own, his cute little bloody cult, kidnapping people and glorifying pain, wounds and offering bloody sacrifices to a very peaceful harmless outer god, you get the picture. Miquella came in, bewitched everyone, ruined everything, and seems apparently made Tarnished to kill Mogh too. He took full advantage of the situation. But then what about the kidnapping? Didn't we literally see the place where Miquella's body was ripped from in the Haligtree? Or are you saying that Miquella, who had long planned to merge with the tree, grow it with his blood, did so, spent some time in the tree (his own wooden body literally had time to form there) and suddenly changed his mind. By telepathic communication made Mogh come and steal him? How does that even work? Or the Shapeless Mother? Was she on her lunch break while Miquella was bewitching her darling son and his entire flock? How on earth could Miquella have such a strong influence on someone who was already under the influence of an outer god? What about Radan? Was the oath mutual? Was it an oath at all, rather than a naive child promise that later turned into a commitment? The original Japanese text of Miquella's memory gives a very strange and potentially unhealthy context to this whole pact between them? I'm not asking Miyazaki to write me a hundred-page essay explaining the plot and character motivations, but this ambiguity that generates a huge amount of speculation and debate is not personally appealing to me.

✨Saint Trina is conceptually very controversial to me. I never liked the Marika/Radagon allegory in the context of Miquella, and when it started to be theorized that Trina like Radagon could be a more antagonistic part of Miquella, opposing him in his plans, well.... I've always been more sympathetic to the idea that she was just another guise of Miquella, more of a disguise than a separate entity. In the context of the dlc, I don't see her as anything other than a remnant of kindness, love, and spirit of Miquella gaining a body and asking us to "fix" his mistakes. This for me falls in line with our motivation. We fight Miquella because he himself asked us to kill him because at some point he realized he was on the wrong path but already couldn't stop. Let me believe in something good please(

✨The whole "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" plot. Honestly I expected more. It was the most obvious  way to develop the story far ago, when Miquella was compared to Griffith before the game came out, and now that we have the final product in front of us, it looks even more cheap and second-rate. I realize that Miyazaki is apparently allergic to happiness, hope, and good endings, but he could have come up with something better. What to say, Honkai Star Rail update came out a couple months ago where a neutral-positive character with a desire for a better world at the end turned out to be an antagonist who wanted to plunge everyone into eternal dreams to save them from the pain and hopelessness of the real world🤣 Not a popular plot at all. Endless Tsukiyomi was invented a couple decades ago, it's time to move on.

I won't say it's bad writing, but honestly, I don't compare the end of the dlc and Miquella's plot to anything other than the ending of Attack of Titans and Eren Yeager or S8 Game of Thrones and Daenerys. And such comparisons don't mean anything good.

I agree that the plot adds depth to Miquella's character, through self-denial, through comparisons to Marika, etc. But this should not be done at the expense of alienating its core lore. I can recognize some merit in such a plot, but it's a situation where you as a fan just simply has no choice, where you choose the lesser of two evils between just completely deny the whole plot or adapt it and flip for myself, but actually whatever you choose you still choose evil in the end. Miquella's plot is like making all the wrong choices. And you realize how you got here and accept it, but you can't help but regret the lost potential of other paths.

Please, if you've already played the game and have thoughts different from mine, especially backed up by specific facts from dlc, I'd love to hear them. I haven't gotten through dlc yet, I'm having a very hard time morally overcoming my disappointment in it, and I'm clearly still somewhere in the denial-bargaining stage.

[inkwell-chronicles]

Writing with intention and clarity

Before I start writing, I often take a moment to clearly define my purpose and the message I want to convey. Whether I am writing a story, an article, or a blog post, having a clear intention guides my writing and helps me stay focused. This can be a tip to help you write. Aim for clarity in your language and structure to ensure readers can easily understand and engage with your content. Being intentional and clear can help create more impactful and compelling writing.

A few ways to start this process are:

Define Your Purpose: Before putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, take a moment to understand why you're writing. Ask yourself what you hope to achieve with your piece. Are you aiming to inform, entertain, persuade, or reflect? Having a clear purpose helps shape your content and gives your writing direction.

Know what audience you want to attract: This can help build and form your writing style. Understanding your audience’s interests, needs, and expectations can guide your tone, language, and content. Tailoring your writing to your audience ensures it resonates more deeply and effectively.

Use Clear and Concise Language: Aim for clarity in your writing using straightforward language. Avoid jargon and overly complex sentences that might confuse readers. Clarity helps convey your message more powerfully and keeps your audience engaged.

Focus on Structure: A well-structured piece of writing is easier to follow. Ensure your introduction sets up your topic or story effectively, your body paragraphs provide detailed and organized content, and your conclusion wraps up your thoughts succinctly.

[virtualcarrot]

[KKIR] Pen on paper - Part 3

[Ao3] [Part 2 on tumblr]

When Masato’s finally considering setting them loose on more advanced material, a courrier interrupts his lesson.

Masato’s supremely unimpressed.

“Yes?” he snaps, hand lowering from the blackboard.

None in the room are really pleased with the delay. They’re about to be given access to a room of--carefully vetted and unrestricted--scrolls and the class is abuzz with the excitement of new knowledge. It’s thrilling. Or it will be, as soon as they can get back to it.

Faltering under the weight of a classful of unhappy eyes, the young woman at the door clears her throat.

“I have a missive from the Rokudaime of Konohagakure, to be delivered to one Umino Iruka.”

The blood drains from Iruka’s face. A formal missive. Few things sound more ominous. He hopes Naruto’s okay. He hopes Hinata’s okay. He hopes Boruto--Oh gods, did Hinata miscarry?

“-inappropriate,” Masato’s saying. “Official communication from the Hokage should go through the Mizukage’s office. This is a gross sign of distrust and secrecy.”

“Kakashi-san probably didn’t realize the diplomatic implications,” Iruka hears himself say, ears ringing from the adrenaline rush.

“And what does this Kakas--” Masato begins to say, rolling his eyes at the implication of incompetence. He cuts himself short, likely as he notices the actual name he’s repeating. “You mean, the Rokudaime? Hatake Kakashi himself?”

All eyes turn on Iruka, who blinks in incomprehension. Ryo elbows him under the table and mouths a silent ‘ san ’ like a kid whispering the cheat to a test, except with a wide-eyed look of utter dismay.

“Kakashi-sama,” Iruka rushes to amend. “I meant Kakashi-sama.”

Masato welcomes the correction with a sneer. “Regardless, Intelligence should read it first. Iruka-san is not a diplomat. There is no privilege.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Nobuko retorts out loud and with an exceedingly dismissive snort. “He’s an official envoy from Konoha. What kind of moron would interfere with mail from the Hokage himself?”

If looks could kill, Nobuko would be dead on sight. Since it doesn't, she weathers Masato’s glare with indifferent aplomb. In the doorway, the courier seems to be considering the disproportion between her own pay and the whole hassle.

Finally, Masato relents.

“Very well. But make sure to inform the Mizukage’s office.”

“Yeah, sure,” the courier says unconvincingly.

Iruka barely glances at her. He’s too busy tearing the envelope open.

He skims over the content, two single sided pages of Kakashi’s sharp and concise strokes, the writing of someone used to efficient writing both on the field and in the office.

Then he blinks. He gives the pages a slower perusal. As far as he can see, everything’s fine. It is, in fact, pretty much a letter telling him just that, and one after another the clenched muscles of his body begin to ease. 

By the board, Masato sniffs, radiating sarcasm. “May we continue the lesson, Iruka-sama?”

“Ah, yes, of course. Sorry.”

Iruka shakes himself and puts the letter away for later.

*

Dear Iruka-sensei,

It's come to my attention that you were worried about the effects of your absence. Be assured that Konoha still stands.

The mission desk is running smoothly. The newest clerks must have been suitably filled with fear of your retribution upon your return. As for the users, if any nurtured hope of slacking off on their reports out of your watch, they were quickly disabused.

I was able to meet with Hiroaki-kocho. He praised your work at the Academy and your positive influence on the teachers. We had an interesting conversation on how to tackle the old guard and draw them to new methods. I’m sure it's a topic you’ll have ample things to comment on.

(Incidentally, I was unaware that Hiroaki-kocho is such a connoisseur of spirits. The sake bottle was much lighter from his visit)

Naruto’s doing fine. It seems he's slowly coming to understand that the office has demands he can't simply talk his way out of. Just yesterday, he asked Shikamaru for further clarification on administrative procedures. The care of war orphans, I believe was the topic. I thought you'd want to know.

Hinata and Boruto are also well, as are Sakura and Sarada. Konohamaru remains promising. He will likely make jounin soon. If I forgot anyone you'd like to know about, please let me know.

I've also been made aware you might be under the impression that I oppose this enterprise. Understand that it is false.

Arm yourself with all the knowledge you want. If I'm lucky, you'll be kind enough to share it with me. After all, you'll soon be the one in charge of imparting it. You will be ready to be Headmaster well before Naruto takes the mantle from me.

Please take this letter as proof of my full support. I hope it finds you well.

Regards,

へのへのもへじ

*

“You okay?” a disembodied voice asks from on high.

Unable to look away from the words swimming on the paper, Iruka mumbles a vague acknowledgement.

From nir perch, Ryo has a clear line of sight of the meager furniture of their shared room, from the cramped closet to the other beds to the rickety table Iruka's using as a desk.

Ne peers over the railing of the top bunk bed. “I think you stopped breathing. Is it bad news?”

Iruka slowly lowers the letter, dizzy with longing. “No. No, it's… very much the opposite.”

“Are you sure? Or is it, like, secret?”

“He's fine, leave him be!” Nobuko yells from outside of the open sash window.

She’s sitting on the other side of the wall through core strength and chakra alone. They’re on the second floor. A hint of the smell of her cigarette wafts inside, carried by the smoke that the tori-based seal she summarily slapped on the raised pane is struggling to keep away. It’s the same she’d been using all of last week and it’s clearly losing power. Iruka will have to warn her. He doesn't mind it too much but Ryo tends to scrunch nir nose at the smell.

They weren’t all originally set to bunk together until Nobuko decided otherwise and bullied the original occupants into a switch. Although first disgruntled, the hostel owner opted to turn a blind eye. Likely, he measured the worth of arguing bed distribution against the effort it’d take, and came up with a negative result. He’s since been leaving them to their own devices, though not without pinched looks of judgment at their now mixed dormitory.

Thus far, the most debauchery they've indulged in is a late night game of koi-koi with the hanafuda Ryo provided. They drank a couple of cheap beers while playing, after which Toru blessed them with a taste from his personal stash of umeshu.

It tasted lovely but Kakashi would probably find it too sweet.

Iruka drops his face in his hands with a groan. Even his thoughts won’t give him respite.

“Shower’s free,” Toru announces, walking in with his damp towel thrown over his arm. “If you’re fast enough, it might still be when you get there.”

As if on a spring, Ryo scrambles into motion. Then ne stalls, one leg hanging over the precipice of the bunk bed. Iruka doesn’t have to see it to feel nir beseeching look.

He lowers his hands with a sigh and leans back to meet nir gaze. Out of the corner of his eyes, he catches Nobuko crushing her cigarette on the window sill and maneuvering to come inside. Her chakra control isn’t bad for a non-active operative but she’s clearly better skilled at sticking her back to the wall than shifting anchor points.

“I’m vice-principal of Konoha Academy,” Iruka reminds them. “I was worried about taking a leave. Kakashi-sama has been kind enough to keep me informed.”

Nobuko sucks her teeth. “Sama, is it now?” she mutters on her way to the trash can, where she drops the cooling cigarette butt.

Justifications crowd the tip of Iruka’s tongue. Kakashi insists on a lack of decorum, he wants to say. He’s never sought praise, he’s never sought fame, if anything he’s been haunted by it. Only his sense of duty keeps pushing him in the spotlight.

Kakashi’s down-to-earth. He takes pride in his work, because he takes pride in work well done and he takes pride in doing it well, but he’s not self-important. He doesn’t like being made to feel special. Kakashi, Iruka thinks, has been made to feel special too many times for too many wrong reasons over the years.

Kakashi favors teamwork. He values friendship. Probably, being called an equalizing honorific makes him feel less alone.

Iruka rubs the back of his neck with a wince and says none of it.

“Ah, about that. Slip of the tongue,”  is what he goes with. “I’ve known him before he was appointed. He was jounin-sensei to some of my students.”

It’s the most honest and the shallowest reply he feels safe to give.

He ignores Nobuko’s noncommittal scoff. Ryo has made nir way down the top bed and is staring at him with something strange in nir eyes, like ne’s seeing Iruka for the first time. It’s unnerving.

“I didn’t realize you were so close to the Hokage,” ne says and Iruka suddenly recognizes with a flare of embarrassment what the shine in nir eyes is: admiration.

The mere fact of knowing another person isn’t worthy of that much.

“I’m not. I just used to be a teacher, is all. Nothing much.”

By the closet door where he's hanging his towel off to dry, Toru tuts in disapproval.

“Nothing much?” he repeats, sounding genuinely upset. “You’re Vice-Principal of Konohagakure Academy. It’s unfair that you speak of your duties so lightly. That’s a lot of responsibility. I hope you take it seriously.”

Iruka doesn’t think there’ll be an age where he isn’t vulnerable to disapproval from an older, respected figure. That is likely why he doesn’t snap back over being scolded by what, all things considered, is very much still a near stranger.

In fact, Iruka ducks his head, admonished.

“Of course I do! I almost canceled this trip, I was so worried about leaving!”

At his words, Toru’s gaze turns considering. Then he smiles, satisfied. For a brief, grief-stricken second, Iruka wonders if the Sandaime would also be pleased with him. With who he’s become today.

“Your kage seems to think you do, anyway,” Toru grants lightly, packing away his toiletries. “To take the time to write to you. That's quite the honor, you know?”

Iruka does. He knows it all too much.

No matter how much Kakashi insists on informal terms of address, there’s nothing equal about them. 

*

The scroll Masato unrolls barely reaches the length of the table. It’s surprisingly short for the amount of power it radiates. In a slow succession of groups, the students are invited to crowd over to examine it.

Iruka’s group is among the last to reach it.

“Amazing work. See the lines here?” Toru says in a low voice, finger tracing over them from afar. The library assistant watches him eagle-eyed in case he comes into contact. “They drive the chain of triggers.”

Iruka peers over, squinting in interest. At the center of the scroll, Inu presides. Smaller characters circle it, disposed with elegant symmetry along what Iruka suspects to be cardinal points. Long, fluid strokes of ink tie them together, swirling back and forth from Inu and the other characters. The result is mesmerizing.

“This isn’t just a trigram, it’s a nodal seal,” he whispers. It’s not even on purpose. His throat has gone tight with awe.

“The crowning achievement of Kiri style sealing,” Masato confirms with a puff of his chest.

They spend the rest of the afternoon studying the strokes, trying to figure out the order they were drawn and whether the sequence of catalysts would follow the same path. While Toru and Nobuko are busy arguing opposing interpretations, Ryo keeps glancing up at Iruka.

He doesn’t know what ne expects from him. In spite of his origins, Iruka has no practice of Kiri technique. If anything, given the intuitive ease with which Ryo’s been picking it up, it’s nem that Iruka should be looking to for help, not the other way around. And he sure needs it. He’s been struggling.

After a moment, he stops scratching down notes with a sigh. “What is it?”

“Did you reply?” Ryo asks before adding, in the face of his confusion: “to your Hokage?”

Iruka crosses his arms, feeling a scowl darkening his face. “What’s your obsession with this?”

Undeterred, Ryo does an antsy windmill motion with nir hands. “You got a letter. From your Hokage! How can you be so cool about it? You think the Tsuchikage would write to me? I don’t think he even knows I exist!”

Iruka can’t help but smile, struck with the sweet relief that this isn’t about him. He remembers being young and desperate to prove himself. He remembers what it was to hope to be noticed.

 On the other side of the table, he catches sight of Nobuko and Toru’s looks of amused interest. Iruka rubs his chin in the appearance of thoughtfulness.

“Hm. But why would you want him to?”

Ryo falters with a frown of frustration. “I don’t know? It’d be cool? If the great kage himself acknowledged me?”

Iruka’s been so stuck feeling inadequate and inferior, these past days, that he forgot how much wider and bigger the world is than him. He completely missed Ryo’s insecurity. Ne’s younger, after all, nearly as young as Iruka was when he started teaching. He hadn’t realized just how much of a difference these ten years between them make. He hadn’t realized how much he, himself, has matured.

“Why do you need him to?” he prompts. “Will that make you stronger? Smarter?”

“Of course it won’t,” ne replies, upset to be misunderstood.

Iruka nods. “No, it won’t, because you’re already smart. You’re hardworking. You’re curious and sharp-minded. I see it. Toru-san and Nobuko-san see it. Sure, it’s not as fun to brag about than the Tsuchikage,” he adds, good-naturedly ignoring Ryo’s stammered disagreement, “but the Tsuchikage doesn’t know you. He’s not the one sharing a room with you. He isn’t fleecing you at cards. I’d say, we’re much better suited to give you accurate feedback. Better looking too,” he adds with a wink, just to break the ice.

Ryo flushes at that, and then flushes deeper when ne notices ne’s the focus of Toru and Nobuko’s attention.

Suppressing a smirk, Nobuko turns back to her notes with a carefree roll of her shoulders. “Eh, you’re alright. Less obnoxious than Toru, definitely.”

Following that, they resume their study of the seal, trying to identify usable patterns. After a while, Ryo lowers nir pencil.

“Does that mean you, like, know the Hokage?” ne asks, less combative than earlier.

“As I said, he’s taught some of my students.”

Ryo gives him a mean look over his evasive answer. When even Toru’s expression turns disapproving, Iruka sighs.

“I’ve known Kakashi-san for years. He was a good team leader to me, before I became a teacher. Tried to take the fall when I messed up. He’s a good guy. He means well and he cares about the students. More than I gave him credit for, to be honest.” He scratches the bridge of his nose, feeling sheepish. Then he catches their curious looks and clarifies: “we’ve been working on reforming the Academy.” He meets Ryo’s gaze before ne gets any ideas. “Trust me, it’s not glamorous. Late nights of paperwork, takeout, and finances spreadsheets. Not anybody’s dream of a pleasant evening.”

Except Iruka, apparently, who has grown terribly fond of those meetings.

“Are you and the Hokage… friends?” Ryo asks, but this time ne sounds more puzzled than wonderstruck.

The question hits a bit too close to everything Iruka’s been trying and failing so terribly to push away from his thoughts.

He shrugs one shoulder. “The Hokage’s a private person. But yeah, we’re friendly.”

Toru gives a sharp, meaningful little nod. “The burden of power is not an easy one,” he says, to which Nobuko lets out a tortured groan.

“I swear, Toru, you say the lamest things,” she says, looking for a distraction by tugging one of the schematics out of the pile they’ve drawn.

Ryo perks up at the sight.

“Oh, I think I see it, now,” ne says, and proceeds to draw and trigger a two-nodes seal that floods their desk in a matter of seconds. Iruka manages to crumple their research to the dry safety of his arms, but only narrowly.

*

Inspiration strikes Iruka the next morning, while he’s applying balm of sea foam to his temples. He keeps it in mind all day, scraping a few errant minutes here and there to write it down and waiting for the time to complete his parcel.

At the end of the day, the old man at the apothecary squints at him in recognition. Iruka would be surprised, hadn’t he lived the most of his life with a very identifiable scar running across the middle of his face.

“Back already? What did you do, eat it? You’re not supposed to.”

“Ah, no. It’s not for me. But I was wondering if the balm couldn't also help someone back home.”

“It’s not hand lotion. Can’t go around just giving it to anyone.”

Iruka stamps down on his irritation and reminds himself that he’s a guest in Kiri. He tries to figure out a way of wording the issue without divulging state secrets, and gestures in the vague direction of the right half of his face.

“My… friend… used to have a seal over here. For years. Now that the seal’s been taken off, they’ve been having trouble adjusting.”

Thoroughly unimpressed, the shopkeeper snorts. “And what, you don’t have medinin in… wherever you’re from?”

“Konoha. And my friend has a high tolerance for pain,” Iruka replies carefully.

“Ah. The grin and bear it type,” the shopkeeper hums, sounding vaguely sympathetic. ”Tell me the symptoms.”

Something about the folds of his skin seems wry, like he’s very aware he’s about to be given a summarily redacted version of the situation. At the end of Iruka’s account, he scratches his cheek.

“Hm. Chakra migraines. Yeah, unpleasant. Balm of Sea Foam might help, alright. Force chakra flow, plug the leak,” he says, disappearing into the backroom with what Iruka’s beginning to suspect is customary curtness.

Iruka leaves with his purchase wrapped in coarse brown paper. He tucks it into the envelope he folded while at the Archives, along with the letter he penned during lunch break.

The receptionist at the hostel greets him with her usual disinterest. She barely glances at the envelope, even as she grabs a notebook to add it to her to-do list. It’s not the worst she’s had to deal with: three days ago, one of the researchers handed her a chest-wide package to send to Suna. It took up a third of her counter until she was able to push it onto a courrier.

“Where’s it going?” she asks in a monotone.

“Konohagakure,” Iruka supplies helpfully.

“To whom?”

“Hatake Kakashi.”

“Address?”

“Hokage tower.”

A credit to her lethargy, it takes reaching the middle of the address before her pen skids in confusion.

She looks up warily.

“Hatake Kakashi. The Hokage. Of Konoha.” An eyebrow lifts in judgment. “Through common mail?” At Iruka’s nod, she shakes her head. “Don’t you have, like, messenger birds and sh--Oh, what am I saying. Yeah, sure, I’ll take care of it, whatever.”

“Right,” Iruka says, before expressing bemused thanks.

When he reaches it, the dormitory’s empty. A fresh tori seal is cycling air through the window. He throws his legs on the other side of the sill, feet dangling while he sits to take in the view.

It doesn’t go far. Kiri’s imposing tower karsts block the horizon, safeguarding and secretive. The salt of the sea at large still finds its way over, carried by the wind even past the tobacco smoke. Beneath, a lake of ambient mist rolls sluggishly, puddling in the many dips of Kirigakure’s uneven ground like water in rocky shores. The sinuous streets and stairs that complete the landscape draw labyrinthic paths between the cylindrical architecture of the village.

Iruka misses Konoha’s overgrown forest. He misses…

When Nobuko holds out her cigarette, he doesn’t startle.

“Didn't peg you as one for hero-worship crushes,” she says, back and feet adhering to the wall.

“I'm not,” Iruka denies.

He gives a minute shake of his head. She pulls her hand away with a shrug.

“Ah.” The tip of her cigarette flares in the corner of his eyes. “Don't worry, kid. Heartbreak passes.”

Seagulls squawk in the distance, where the eye can’t see. At the windowsill, Iruka pulls up a knee to brace on.

“You?” he asks.

Nobuko takes a silent, drawn out drag. She blows it out in an even longer breath. Her gaze is far away. She rubs the lower half of her face then shakes off the cobwebs of her thoughts.

“Eh. It’s happened. But love needs making yourself vulnerable.” She sucks her teeth and huffs a humorless chuckle. “I'm not made to be vulnerable.”

She offers the cigarette again, pinched upright between thumb and forefinger.

Iruka takes it.

(He coughs, just a little)

*

Dear Kakashi-san,

Thank you for your letter. I was a bit homesick--I've gotten rusty and complacent, I think, staying in Konoha--and it was the perfect cure for it! I'm very grateful. It's a relief to know everything is going well. And to have your support.

You'll find enclosed a little balm. I know your headaches tend to flare, and I thought this might be of help. The apothecary is a grumpy and kind old man that seems perpetually peeved, but his advice has been sound. I use it myself [...]

*

[Part 4]

[ozzgin]

Do you have any advice for those who want to post their stories and ideas on here but are just starting out

Not sure if I'm the best person to offer advice on these matters, as I feel my presence here has been mostly accidental. That being said, I am capable of introspection and I've been here long enough to notice patterns, so I can gladly share my own observations with you! Feel free to draw your own conclusions. Everyone else is invited to offer corrections or additions. :)

Guide under the cut because it's another long ramble divided in 3 parts.

What to post

The million-dollar question. Do you want to share original stories, or fanfiction? Various genres, or reader centered romances? You have the choice to try your luck and dive in with your own thing or scour the market to build a following first.

I've seen trending original stories from accounts who'd just started out, but don't use that as a reference for the quality of your own work. If you're not gaining traction, it doesn't automatically mean it's bad. There are hundreds of variables involved: the time, the context, the people. It takes one big blog to discover your story and share it, and you've taken your first step into recognition. The main issue is, there's no guarantee when or if it's going to happen.

Your other choice is to introduce yourself with fanfiction. Consider it a way of saying “let me show you my writing skills through something of your interest”. If you've been wanting to write fanfiction from the beginning, great! Now comes the next question: what is your goal? If you want more recognition, you'll want to consider the fandoms. Is there something you're into that's currently also trending on Tumblr? Writing for Hazbin Hotel, for example, will most likely get you more notes than writing for some 90s manga very few people know about. At the end of the day, you shouldn't feel pressured to write for what's "selling", but you can always find a compromise that works for you. Once you gain more followers, you can always sprinkle in more variety. Having more people who appreciate your work will give you a little boost when venturing into other areas.

I'll give you my personal case: I decided to share my Baki story right at the time a new season was out. It just so happened that many other people were interested in said character. "I only watched two episodes and immediately searched for fics", or "I saw an edit and now I'm here". So, there were people actively keeping tab on recent works for more content, and one of the relevant blogs in the fandom shared my content as well. That got the ball rolling. I've always been a multi-fandom blog, and thus with more visitors came more diverse requests. "Wait a minute, I came for X, but I see you like Y, too!"

TL;DR: If you're interested in original work or lesser known fandoms but want recognition, try to expand into trending and popular fandoms to gain visibility.

How to post

Is there a specific template you must adhere to? Absolutely not. However, I've noticed many common elements from people sharing their stories. There are authors who will dive right into the story, no title, no descriptions, but they already have followers who know what to expect. If you're just starting out, you might want to offer a helping hand to people who don't know you yet. Have a concise, clear title. Make it obvious from the beginning what your story is about. You can include trigger warnings or content previews. Maybe a little synopsis or two-three sentences to summarize everything. I've seen some blogs mention that their shorter stories get more interaction (1-2k words), so this might be something to consider. If you would prefer going for longer works, perhaps it's wise to give everyone a heads-up and include the word count at the beginning. If you want to encourage people to check out your other works, you can include a link to your masterlist at the top of the post.

Regardless of appearances, once your content is written, it needs to be tagged. Which brings us to the next topic:

This truly isn't meant to call anyone out, just something I noticed. Many people don't know how to use the hashtag feature.

Let me give you a fabricated example: you just published your best fanfiction so far. The magnum opus of your work. Time passes, and you barely get any notes. You tagged the post with #fanfic (because it's fanfiction, right?), #writers of tumblr (to notify other writers of your presence), and #series name. It's not bad by any means, but these are extremely generic hashtags. If your only anchor for the post is, say, #Harry Potter, it will be immediately drowned by the massive influx of various content under this tag: memes, fanart, discussions, screenshots. Everything meets here. If your story is a reader insert, your target is not only the overall fandom, but specifically the people looking for this type of story. Which characters are featured? Is it more of a fluffy romance, or downright smut? Is your original character a monster? If so, what kind? You have to help people find your content. If you're not sure what tags to include, use other blogs as reference. Find stories similar to yours and check the top posts. What other tags did the author use? Is there a common pattern among these popular stories?

TD;DR: Make your posts clear and obvious within the first few lines. Overly general or overly specific tags are not bad, but they shouldn't be your only identifying features. Make it very easy for people to navigate your blog (masterlists, consistent hashtag system, etc)

When to post

At one point I asked myself, out of curiosity, why some of my own posts are more popular than others despite the same amount of effort. Is there a difference depending on when you release your content? The answer is yes! There's an article discussing the best times to post on social media in order to maximize engagement. Of course, there's many variables involved, and these time intervals are not a guarantee. When are your followers most active? When do you notice a peak in notifications? Have a look at this neat desktop feature. It gives you all the answers you need. If your engagement is the highest at a given hour, it might be worth a shot to post your content then. You can also schedule your posts to match the patterns.

Let's say you posted something, and you suspect it hasn't reached all of your followers. Maybe it was a slow day, and it got less engagement than usual. I've seen people who reblog their own content the next day or even regularly, so you can opt for that if you're worried you missed out.

Additionally, Tumblr seems to reward activity. You may post as often or as little as you'd like, as long as you maintain a certain regularity. If you search for top posts/blogs of all time, you'll notice it's not actually an all-time chart, but only the content with recent engagement. A post with a million notes that hasn't been touched in 5 years won't show up. Same for blogs. The recommendations you see are of accounts who frequently post under the given hashtag. This is something to keep in mind as well.

Lastly, if you're willing/are extroverted enough, you can always try to network and build a group of mutuals. Reblog, leave comments, reach out to people within the fandom or who do the same thing. When a post is fresh, it may be temporarily bumped to the top of the search if it receives a burst of engagement. So, it definitely helps to have a bunch of friends who give you a little boost.

Yeah. This is what I have. It's not a matter-of-fact textbook, just what I personally witnessed or my own inferences. The most important detail is to give yourself time, and of course to have fun! I wish you the best of luck, and don’t forget that your ideas are worthy regardless of the outcome.

[mosaickiwi]

Meowdy~

I'm Momo/Mosa c: either one

I like to write!!! Except it's just for 14DWY 99.999999% of the time sorry. I need to reformat this pin at some point... 🧍‍♀️

if u wanna support me here's a kofi link :3c

anyways ur here for some silly fics??? have a list ⬇⬇⬇ most recent ones are at the top and/or highlighted!

14 Days With You

Patience

Leaping In

All Clean!!!

Kabedon (politely)

Little "Love" Notes

14DWY as a Drama (AU)

Fall Unto Me (Demon!Ren AU) part one, part two, part three, part four, epilogue

Everything and Anything (pls read cw tags)

Soft - Light

Hide and Seek

Illusion of Choice

"Bad" Gift Giver Angel (head canon list)

Nails, TV, Moving

Sick Nasty

Someone in Between, Something Intertwined

Masterlist of NSFW [REDACTED] fics and blurbs

These aren't posted publicly at the moment, so it's a WIP

REQUESTS: CLOSED!!

while i work on current requests

Request Guidelines

~PLEASE READ~

While I currently don’t write smut for requests, 14 Days With You is intended for an 18+ audience, so please keep that in mind and have your age visible in your bio! If you prefer to be anon remember to send another letting me know it's you from your main account! <3

ALL REQUESTS ARE FOR 14DWY [REDACTED] AT THE MOMENT (i might do things for other games in the future but not for requests!!)

Please be clear and concise about what you want. A few sentences works great, but if you do want to paint a bigger picture, 70 words at most! <- This applies to the request itself not the entire message! Feel free to get silly in my asks otherwise.

Please don't direct me/give me a script! Gentle reminder that I am not a bot.

Additionally, since some requests might be similar in content I may combine or do only one of them if I receive them in the same batch.

With that said, please don’t rush me! I have other things I’m working on + irl c:

All fics are a gender neutral reader unless otherwise specified in the request through certain topics.

If any of these are unclear, ASK so I can clarify <3

Requests CAN be:

SFW, fluff, angst, comfort, implied/mentions of smut i.e. aftercare, roleplay before the action, ~vaguely~ alluding to school/college/etc., AUs as long as they aren’t someone else’s (unless the creator has stated to be okay with it)

Requests CANNOT be:

smut/explicit NSFW, cheating, self harm, gore, death, student life stuff (studying or something similar is fine just pls spare me from having to think about college/campus bullshit 😭)

Request List (please check to avoid repeats!)

Anxious, Clingy, Nervous Angel

Lazy Cuddle Day

Low Motivation Angel

Super Obsessed Angel

A Little Free Time

Touch Averse Angel

Wedding Day

Literal Domestic Fluff (Fox Ren)

A Sick Angel

A Riding Lesson

Your Actual First Kiss

Flip the Script(s) - Isekai AU

Very Cherry

Redecorating

Shorts

[some-murmurings]

i'm happy that video essays are a popular format on youtube now. i've loved the genre for years and, with care, it's a reliable source of accessible education.

that said, the popularity of video essays on youtube makes me feel like my brain is leaking out of my ears. it is so easy to immediately tell when an author has no actual investment in the genre and sees it merely as a vehicle for #Content™️©️®️

There are three basic qualities I see suffering the most for this

1. Length

I see so many of these newer channels pumping out 8 hour pieces that are closer to exhaustive book reports then they are tight, well written examinations of something and, while I LOVE the diversity inherent to the video essay format, this is a terrible way to explore a topic. It's boring, lame, and extremely profitable.

Quinton Reviews is a good example; I like his work occasionally, his recent thing on Dan Schneider was genuinely pretty good. It did still suffer from the resulting pacing sickness from overloading on information and underloading on composition & organization. Wendigoon is an even better example. Most "iceberg" style vids also are (not u jan misali. never u.)

Also, there's no defined rule for the length of a video essay. They can be 5 minutes long or 5 hours, flash fiction or a full-bodied thesis. Shots of tequila or a whole bottle of wine can both get you drunk.

2. Pacing

Obviously related to length but this is another problem; video essayists have always struggled with this and it got worse recently anyways.

A lot of that "information overload" is to blame. It's important that, when researching, YOU come to a strong, nuanced understanding of a topic through disparate sources. It is, by nature of the format and genre, an extremely bad idea to try and make your audience learn the information the same way.

We don't need a thousand sources spread across several dozen sentences, we want the 3-4 (max) best sources on a given subtopic concisely synthesized into a coherent idea.

Use music, jokes and relevant graphics to make this information as engaging and interpretable as possible without sacrificing accuracy. It's okay to abridge and note that you were, in fact, abridging. We don't need to know every detail about every single thing loosely related to the topic.

Dan Olson from "Folding Ideas" is a good example of this. His script writing and camera work does an extremely good job of creating effective flow with an appropriate amount of detail & nuance. So, pacing, basically.

3. Topic

U can tell some of these jamokes don't give a fuck or shit about the thing they're discussing. Worse still when it's some inane internet drama they're recounting like its "news."

To be clear: the best video essays are OFTEN on topics you have no previous interest in. Roblox_oof.wav by HBomberguy is an easy example. This shit is a complete mess thematically but, because the author engages deeply and effectively with the topic, it literally doesn't matter. It's an insanely good video you should spend all 2 & 1/2 hours in rn. Go. Watch it.

Nor is internet drama a bad topic to cover. You're allowed, encouraged really, to discuss the weird bullshit people do to each other but like... this is closer to a soap opera than it is a national news headline. Looking at you, "Turkey Tom" or whatever the fuck your name is.

There's something to be said, too, for how quick people are to make an essay about a still moving situation. I know the algorithm is an insatiable maw of content hunger but, counterpoint, ONLY MAKE A VIDEO WHEN YOU CAN ACTUALLY DESCRIBE WHAT HAPPENED. If there's reasonable suspicion stuff isn't done, SHUT THE FUCK UP. It's okay if you misjudge a timeline here or there, you're allowed to admit fault and correct yourself, but, like, cmon.

Also something to be said about how quick so many essayists have ALWAYS been to talk about someone else's business without permission, particularly intimate partner violence.

4. Style/Presentation

Video essays are an extremely novel format, particularly for education, so there's a genuine debt of easy-to-adopt styles. And, because of the recent growth, there are a lot of new people entering the space with very little experience in it.

That said, the next time I hear that fucking "influencer cadence" I'm gonna EXPLODE. You know the one, they slow down towards the end of a sentence to lend "gravitas" and overarticulate every. single. word. to, idk, build credibility?

It's shallow and obnoxious and I hate it. Nothing makes me skip a video faster than a boring intro & a predictable cadence. Be honest about the way you speak. If you struggle to create rhythm & flow with your voice, use music! Seriously, music sampling is a super valid method, most indie artists would be JAZZED to have their stuff in parts of their video. A lot of orchestral stuff is in the public domain, especially a lot of famous "classical" works. Put Beethoven's 5th in your video about potato farming in russia, God might not be real and if she is she'd ALSO think it's funny.

Another problem: predictable cuts & generally uninspired editing. I know editing is a pain in the ass but, like, it IS still a creative process. You do have space to do interesting stuff here and, if you can't focus for that long, literally just make a shorter video.

It's okay if 95% of your transitions are purely functional, the trick is to make those 5% REALLY silly to keep your audience on their toes.

5. Tone

You don't need to be "an authority" on a topic to make a good essay about it. It helps but, as long as you're clear & honest about the limits of your understanding and you've done your due diligence, you almost certainly will be fine to talk about anything you want.

If you want to build credibility quickly, consider starting with disambiguation instead of dry recitation. Dates matter less to me than actually understanding a topic better. Even better if you come across like another autistic person infodumping about whales or w/e.

I'd keep going but my phone's gonna die. U get the gist. Lots of format problems that algorithm-brain is exacerbating.

[deviantartdramahub]

Hello, I'm Jasper Rolls, the subject of previous posts on this blog submitted by monstermaster13 (hereafter referred to as Nathan because I don't want to write that username 400 fucking times). I would like to make it clear that I would rather be doing literally anything other than this right now, but since Nathan has apparently made it his mission in life to try and mess with mine in any way he can, I'd like to clear things up where I can. I'll be going over the events of the story chronologically, in a sort of abridged cliff notes version, and then picking up on specific points that Nathan submitted in his telling that I feel are worth addressing. Apologies for the length, this whole stupid affair is just...like that. Believe me, I'm trying to be as concise as possible. A lot of the stuff described has since been deleted since Nathan frequently removes stuff he later realizes is potentially embarrassing or makes him looks bad, but we have evidence of a number of things in here which I can try and provide if necessary.

Doing this chronologically means addressing the grooming stuff first, which is largely irrelevant to the "current" drama, but since it's been brought up I have to mention it. Put simply friend of mine, Bernnyx (hereafter referred to as Bernie), befriended Nathan in 2012, when she was around 13 or 14, and they engaged in roleplays focusing around themselves transforming into characters from Tim Burton movies. How does this function as grooming? Well...

Nathan has in the past described transformation, and specifically transformation into Tim Burton movie characters, as a fetish he has, and one that he greatly enjoys. "Fetish" and "love this particular fetish a lot" are the exact terms he has previously used to describe this interest, which indicates that he considers content of that ilk sexually gratifying, since that's what a fetish means.

Bernie had their age listed on their profile, which indicated they were a minor. In addition, Nathan once publicly posted a screencap of his DeviantArt settings on Twitter, which indicated that his year of birth was 1973. Unlike Nathan, I'm not here to criticize what a person finds sexually appealing - if there's a trait Nathan and I share, it's an interest in transformation, so being critical of that would be throwing stones in glass houses. However, given the information that Nathan has chosen to provide himself, it seems to indicate that he was nearly 40 years old when he was engaging in roleplay involving a topic he considers sexually gratifying, with someone he was fully aware was a minor. Unless he was just specifically blind when reading the age part of a DeviantArt profile, I don't know.

There's every chance that the year of birth that he put into DeviantArt is one he made up for whatever reason. I don't know for certain. If Nathan ever wants to clarify his actual age and clear this part up, he is more than welcome to, but the fact that he hasn't after all this time is curious. Surely, it would be so easy to disprove.

For the rest of this story we have to skip forward to 2020. While Bernie and Nathan still mutually followed each other on DeviantArt, they had drifted apart and not directly spoken for some time. For various reasons, Bernie chose to deactivate their DeviantArt account, and prior to doing so, politely requested that Nathan remove them from a "DeviantArt Family" list he'd made. Nathan claimed her reasoning was "dumb", but complied. Later the same day, checking in on Nathan's account to confirm that he had done what Bernie requested, Bernie discovered that they had been blocked. Shortly after, Nathan uploaded a short story synopsis very clearly based on the prior events, with the names changed, as well as a short rant written in character as one of his OCs, in which they directly name Bernie as the wrongdoer, and transform Bernie into a Pokemon as punishment for the crime of not wanting to talk to Nathan anymore.

This is where I get involved. I had been mildly aware of Nathan for some years as he had frequently commented on and favourited my work on various art galleries, and was a fan of what I did. Prior to this point I had considered him strange but largely harmless. However, the vindictiveness of Nathan's actions in this instance struck me as highly unsettling, and I chose to block him as I did not want someone who acted in this way towards a friend of mine to interact with me any further. I did not directly speak with him during any of this. I was, in retrospect, rather naively hoping that the block would speak for itself.

Nathan reacted extremely negatively to the block, posting a rant in which he assumed that I had blocked him for being fatphobic. I have never accused him of of this, and if it was a trait he had, I wasn't aware of it and it played no part in my decision to block him. Judging by his comments in the time since, however, he has since chosen to wear this particular boot with aplomb, considering the venom with which he criticizes my After Dark Twitter account, which is his prerogative, I suppose.

From here, Nathan repeatedly tried to get into contact with me any way he could, begging for my forgiveness and asking me to unblock him. He repeatedly attempted to add me on Discord, sent unwarranted messages to any account I hadn't already blocked him on, and when he ran out of those, he started sending messages to my romantic partners, as well as any previous romantic partners he knew I'd been involved with and any friends he thought would have my ear. This resulted in no shortage of embarrassment for me as I had to repeatedly explain to the people in my life who Nathan was and why he was contacting them. The entire time this was happening, Nathan was also uploading various journals along the same line of asking forgiveness, as well as at least one original character bio (since deleted), very obviously based on his experience with me. At the same time, he obsessed about Bernie leaving him like he was a heartbroken former lover (despite the complete lack of personal interaction for years), and ranted angrily and offensively about another friend of ours who he highly disliked, and who he blamed for "stealing" Bernie away from him.

We all tried our best to ignore Nathan's actions, even as he actively attempted to get us punished through moderation channels for the crime of upsetting him by establishing boundaries against him (including once attempting to report Bernie to the Discord subreddit). Really, there's so much shit he did that this story would get even more disgustingly long than it already is in this truncated version if I tried to describe all of it. I cannot impress upon you how much he would not fucking stop trying to get into my view as much as he could to harass me, demanding that I unblock him because he considered himself completely innocent of any crimes.

Eventually, I responded to him via an ask here on Tumblr, which is I believe the sole time I have ever directly interacted with him, making clear exactly what my grievances with him were, and that I wished for him to no longer contact me. Nathan ignored this and still kept trying, although his tone shifted from apologetic to self-hating instead, where he admitted that everything I had stated was true, although at various points he attempted to pass the blame for these actions to various alter egos or characters he has invented.

After this, I and my friends elected to once again go back to the policy of ignoring him as much as humanly possible, an act which Nathan was seemingly determined to test. For a solid year afterwards, he continued to harass us in ways that are largely similar to the above and would belabor the point to describe in any detail - the only point of note is that he eventually shifted his tone from self-hating and apologetic to venomous and hateful towards me. Clearly he decided at some point that actually he'd never done anything wrong, and we were all just meaninglessly hating him in all his perfect innocence. This eventually lead to a sequence of events in which, mere hours after one of my partners suffered the loss of an extremely close family member, Nathan chose to send a hateful message to a side blog I had neglected to block him on, adding to my already considerable emotional stress at the time.

This, combined with a number of other things that I don't have the time to go into detail about (but considering you've had multiple submissions from Nathan where he describes getting into fights with literally anyone and everyone, I imagine you have some idea), led to us deciding that we needed to make a document detailing what exactly had happened, because we considered Nathan to be an active danger to the community we were in. Additionally, we were sick of him lying about what happened between us. We had said extremely little on the matter publicly prior to then, while he had been posting every day about his rewritten version of events where he was completely innocent of any wrongdoing. The document in question was posted in July 2022. While most people in my circle online are now aware of Nathan and what's happened with him, Nathan leveraged various moderation tools to get the document taken down, and it can't be read publicly anymore. We still have copies of it and all the evidence of what I've been talking about contained therein, so if you would like more direct proof of any of this fucking nonsense, then it can be provided, but I won't be posting it publicly as Nathan will probably do the same thing again given the opportunity.

Since then, we have, of course, tried to go back to the policy of ignoring him, which for the most part I've succeeded at doing, and would really, really, REALLY rather continue doing, since every time I see hide or hair of Nathan I feel sick, and I'd rather not feel that way. However, every 4-5 months or so, he's ended up floating into my vision since he is intent on stalking me across the internet, harassing me wherever he can, and talking shit about me and my friends, telling a highly biased and skewed version of the events to anyone who will listen. Most recently, I believe he is responsible for trying to sign one of my e-mail accounts up to various random forums and websites with usernames intended to embarrass me. I would very much like him to stop harassing me, and if he must spew his bile, I would rather he kept it to his own blogs and accounts, rather than trying to slander me publicly or directly try to harass me like this. Unlike Nathan, who seems to have all of time to yell incoherently at me online, I have a life, and a job, and friends I would much prefer to engage with rather than having to deal with his continued persistent harassment.

That's a rough overview of the events. As mentioned, I have pretty direct evidence of most of the stuff I've discussed here so if you need that then I can provide. Now to discuss some of the more specific points that Nathan has discussed.

"And it gets worse, Jasper very much did this too. He dedicated more than a few posts to me for the past couple of years, oh yeah sure dude…i'm the obsessed one, says the person who is still mad about something that didn't even concern him until he got involved himself."

I post about Nathan maybe once or twice a year, if that, when his repeated continued harassment gets so out of hand that I have no other outlet than to vent frustration about it publicly because I am sick to fucking death of him continuing to force himself into my life. When I do so, I tend to mention him in broad terms that do not directly name him. I can't exactly prove a negative, but the only accounts I know Nathan actively uses are his DeviantArt and FurAffinity accounts, and I have absolutely no interest in seeking out any of his other accounts because I would rather be witness to Nathan's existence as little as humanly possible. Nathan, in comparison, whenever I've had reason to check, seems to post about me and what I do daily, covertly following every account I use online and ranting on his own accounts about how much he hates everything I say and do, no matter how benign. I believe this should be somewhat self-evident from the posts he has submitted to your blog, in which he has described actively stalking any account I happen to post on with regular activity, including my Bluesky, Letterboxd, and Storygraph accounts. He posts about me plenty on his own accounts too, and with comparative venom - and when he stops doing that, he makes AI generated knockoffs of mine and others work, because he is apparently completely void of creativity.

"In the document that was made about me one of the writers behind it either Jasper, Bernnyx, Baeksangeo or Gavin said they used the Anonymousdevi account to accuse me of being transphobic…"

This is an incredibly bizarre point Nathan has repeated several times over the time since the document was posted. This incident involved another person entirely, who directly stated who they were in said document and described the events in first person. Nathan seems to have gotten incredibly confused by this and believes it was actually me, Bernie, or one of our other friends using a pseudonym. I don't know why. His belief that they deserve a callout is just plain strange considering they had this one exact interaction with him and nothing else.

"I am sorry dude but you don't have the right to speak for all gay men or the LGBT community at all."

Actually I do, sorry. Cry about it. [THIS IS A HYPERBOLIC JOKE]

"I rarely talk about what happened regarding him and me on my posts or even in my deviantart page (despite the accusations), so i very much just try to ignore the guy."

This is an absolute lie. As I have described, Nathan stalks my accounts and posts angrily about what I do in specific detail with extreme, nigh on daily frequency, from what I've seen whenever I've come across him in the wild and checked in on how he's doing. His claim that he "rarely talks about me" and "tries to ignore me" could not be more of an outright fabrication. The only way I can figure him seriously believing this is that he considers the daily rants and harassment as being not him, because he posts them in character as one of his OCs - therefore, it's not him stalking and harassing and ranting about me, it's one of his characters. I'm sure you can agree the difference is negligible.

That's everything I have to say. I have no interest in discussing this further with Nathan. I and my friends merely want to live in peace and enjoy our time online, something Nathan has seemingly dedicated his life to attempting to ruin. I ask that he please do literally anything else with his time other than spend it harassing and stalking me and my friends for years on end. Thank you.

All noted. A classic chain of two sides bringing things up the scale after one's mistake. There is no shame in two sides in a conflict where nobody is perfect to consider/acknowledge such.

Having seen everything, if Nathan is reading this, if he may ceasefire in return for the other side wrapping up their own open-fire, as well as look down on how he may have challenged TOS (unspoken norms are unspoken norms but TOS is TOS when it regards that, and maybe the other side went against TOS), I would prescribe the conflict be considered having ended. What say he?

[deceitful-darlings]

I have an idea for you if you accept it... Have you heard about Welcome Home? Well, there's Wally as well as Sunny Day Jack is the protagonist of a children's show, the only difference is that Wally is a factoche (a curiosity: he eats when he blinks, very scary). Well it is if the reader finds Wally's tapes when he is with Jack. Now the poor reader has been teleported through the world of Welcome Home along with Jack, with Wally being a yandere for the reader as well, only Wally never releases the reader into the real world.

I’ve done a little research into Welcome Home, and gotta say I’m not clear on the creator’s stance on...well, anything like this. They said they don’t like ‘objectionable’ content. What does ‘objectionable’ mean? So I’m going SFW because I have no idea what they think is ok and I’m not risking writing something they don’t want posted. If anyone can link me to statements from them about a more concise view of what they do and do not want written, please do because I’m confused.

Now, Jack knows there’s something wrong with those tapes the moment he gets near them, which shouldn’t be a surprise considering he comes from one himself. He can feel that it’s not a normal tape, and he will try he best to persuade you to just get rid of them, they turned up suspiciously, can you really trust it? And you nearly do listen to him, let’s face it after how you met him you’re really not sure you want to be dealing with more supernatural entities, but when you go to throw them away or take them to a charity shop you just...can’t. Physically you can’t, like your body is being held in place, and it’s not like Jack can help since he can only touch you, so the two of you have to settle on the agreement of not ever watching them, because frankly one ghost man is more than enough for you to be dealing with.

And you mean to keep that promise, you literally have no reason to not keep it. Even if you possibly had been curious, with Jack having entered your life is similar circumstances it’s fairly easy to fight said curiosity because who knows what could happen. But...there’s something about those tapes drawing you in. Jack notices, he can see your eyes wander to them when you lose focus. He does his best to distract you and draw your eyes away from them, to keep you focused on the here and now, on him. He wants to regain as much presence as he can so that he can take those tapes away, but unfortunately he isn’t quick enough.

He goes to sort breakfast for the morning, but his gut tells him something isn’t right, and he isn’t going to ignore his instincts. That damn tape is already in the VCR, and he only just manages to grab hold of you before the world fades to black.

He’s on high alert the moment he opens his eyes, which he doesn’t show to you of course, so when you wake up and inevitably freak out over being...wherever this brightly coloured place is, he comforts you. Hugging you, telling you it’s ok and that it isn’t your fault as you realise what happened and begin to blame yourself. Did you want to put the tape in? No? Exactly! Why would he be angry at you for that? Something effected you and made you do it, it’s not your fault Sunshine! He’s just happy that he got there in time so that he’s here to keep you safe!

And it’s while he’s finishing calming you down that Wally appears, welcoming you to the neighbourhood with his ever present smile, his eyes only flash to Jack and they seem briefly shadowed, so briefly you miss it. You don’t really understand why you’re here? That’s ok! They’ll always welcome a new...he means multiple new neighbours!

Hmmmm giving you somewhere to stay is going to be hard for now, there are only so many houses in the neighbourhood after all, but don’t worry! Home will be very happy to have other occupants, he’s sure of it! It’s ok, until you settle down find a way home, you can stay with them! And they could even build you your own house-. Come inside and tell him what happened, he’ll show you around, and of course he’ll listen to you! He loves that voice of yours after all, it quickly becomes his favourite sound.

Jack, of course, goes along with you. The two are smiles and sunshine personalities at each other, neither letting their masks drop, but there’s no denying the tension between the two. The two will be subtly at odds the whole time. Wally’s happy to have a new friend? Well, you’re Jack’s ONLY friend, a very dear person to him! Jack wants the two of you to go home? It’s ok, there are lots of lovely people here who would like to meet you too, there’s no need to rush! The neighbourhood is nice? Indeed it is, but facing responsibility is part of life, and it’s ok because if you can’t face it out there then Jack can be there for you and one day be the responsible one! Of course responsibilities are important, but here responsibilities are different, and everyone is kind, surely isn’t that better for you? Maybe, but you need someone who can truly express that kindness for you, someone who clearly shows you they loves you! It’s ok, while he may not be able to show it in his face and voice, he’ll still be there for you, hug you, talk to you when you need it, just because he can’t express it well it doesn’t mean he’ll never feel it! The bickering is endless, and it’s only your presence there that means they don’t harm each other. How long that lasts, who knows, they’re a ticking time bomb.

Now here’s where things get difficult, with both the game and ARG in their early development stages, we don’t actually know the abilities of either nor their true strength and capabilities. How much control over the neighbourhood does Wally actually have? How much does Home control? What are his actual motives so why would he be particularly smitten? What are the neighbours actually like, and how would they react to a new neighbour? Of the power he has, how much control would Jack be able to exert over the neighbourhood? What even are the extent of his capabilities? Does he have his own tape that he could pull you into, thus his own world that would mean he would be more likely to want to leave than if he didn’t? Are Wally and Home actually a threat to your life?

But it’s safe the say, the two most certainly wouldn’t get along. Wally wants you to stay, Jack probably wants to leave, to be in control. But I would say while Wally has the home field advantage so he probably has more actual power in the scenario. Jack has the advantages of being able to actually express emotions sincerely and be a true comfort to you, which Wally and his lack of understanding emotion would find a serious hurdle, and that he has simply known you longer ergo has more of a connection to you, so if something happened to him, it would be difficult for Wally to play off. After all, who are you more likely to trust, the kind, sympathetic host you have known and seems to genuinely care for you, or can Wally convince you even with his dead eyes and emotional misunderstanding that he’s the more trustworthy of the two?

[ordophilosophicus]

What it means to be a Moreau:

An essay and analysis of Jean Moreau's character-conflict  (Aftg and TSC - spoilers)

What this will not be about: The actual content of the book. Ok, that's not fully true. I am not about to discuss if something that happens itself is good/bad, in character etc. Or criticize topics.

What this will be is an analysis of parallels, character-motifs and questions concerning their trajectory and hindsight of actions. Questions AND Ideas how to answer these questions.

What does it mean when Jean states "I am a Moreau '', Why does TSC feel a bit like a crunched up Aftg? What constitutes the actual conflict of Jean - since either choice (staying or leaving) appears to be certain death? Why does Rikos death and Kevin's betrayal (the hand thing) matter to Jean?  

The book came out and my heart went racing. These books (aftg and tsc) bring me great joy, all I will criticize and analyze in this tiny, a bit too long essay, is said with greatest love and sincerity towards these books. But there can be said a lot - especially about TSC.

Get a snack and hop on.

Parallels between aftg and tsc - Stories about identity:

First of all let's begin with Nora's great writing of POV's. In this book we do get two pov's, giving us contrast to Neils in Aftg. Meaning we see the world, the characters from three different perspectives. And Nora makes them all matter. In the end I will tie it back with interpreting Jeremys pov, but for now let's only look at Neils and Jeans. A lot of characterization is made by what is focused on in their respective povs. What characters are interesting, how much rumination (thought) vs action is expressed. Both are unreliable narrators, and both tell us so much about what matters to them.

Both Aftg (Neils arc) and TSC (Jeans arc) are about the loss and gain of identity. From the retrospective, the arc consists of questions such as: Who am I?; Can I change who I am?; and what am I worth? But both arcs start with a clear sense of identity which is threatened.

However, somehow Neils arc is more concise and clear cut. Of course, part of this can be attributed to the simple fact that there will be a (second and maybe third part) to come for TSC, but it's mainly the groundworks I think which are "lacking". They are not necessarily lacking but rather not as (clear/spelled out).

The theme of "Identity" is special, since the stakes in the book/ark are about identity and its loss. Other stakes (death, loss of friendship, love etc) are not the main focus. The characters struggle and peril is about the loss of identity, which would mark a step into an unknown world they cannot navigate, and bring other dangers they avoided or dealt with the current identity. (Example: Lying vs telling the truth. Former obstructs the consequences of the truth, the later means you need to deal with the consequences.) On the other hand, it is the alternative identity which provides something of interest for the charatcer, creating a conflict of WANTING and perception of SELF. They WANT friends, but would need to GIVE UP their former sense of protection.

We are introduced to Neil Josten, and his very solid perception of identity. He is "nothing" = He has no right and no attachment to anything. He is a liar and alone. The conflict is created by offering him Exy and later on a team. Security stands in conflict with ending his loneliness and the feeling of not mattering. Nora introduces this conflict very early and very clearly. It is what makes us sympathize and, more importantly, understand and buy into the crazy thing Neil does to keep his secrets.

However, there is another identity which rides that one of "Neil Josten." Nathaniel Wesninski, the identity attached to that name, becomes more prominent throughout the books, and in the end, Neil needs to accept this identity to move on.

Nathaniel Wesninski's identity is very much spelled out in AFTG and it must be so, to make this shift of identity so impactful. A Wesninski is: loyal, does not lie, cruel but true. The very opposite of Neil Josten.

Nathaniel Wesninski is tied to the Moriamas, and is tied to his father. To pain, loss and a life of consequences and responsibility. (Not to run). The stake to shift to this identity (to be this person) is made clear by showing throughout the books how each of these parts are dangerous. And every step Neil takes (especially in the first and second book) is to avoid having to lose Neil Josten and be Wesnisnki.

And it works excellently. We fear WITH Neil when he makes the shift to Wesnisnki in Lolas car, and it is an epiphany when Riko dies and Neils makes a deal with Ichiro. When he wins in Exy and can play Exy. Because he not only shifted in the identity, he did not lose Neil Josten. He successfully changed to a Wesninski, to then further to a NEW Neil Josten. (Important: It's not losing an identity, which makes the arc powerful. It's the change of self. Nora is very explicit by making it a three step program. Josten. Wesninski, and "New" Josten.) We see what is the conflict, we get the stakes, and we see how Neil resolves the problems and takes on a new, stronger identity.

TSC is about Jean and a similar problem. However the swap, or rather the whole conflict does not appear as strong as with Neil. And the reasons for it are very simple, though still relevant for the trajectory of the story and possibility for the reader to emphasize and root for Jean.

TSC starts out with the bonus that we are already entranced with the fate of Jean and understand The Nest and Riko. However, what we do not know is Jeans' identity. Who does he think he is?; What stakes does he think hinge on being "Jean Moreau, the Raven, belonging to the Moriyamas' '? WHY is it so tremendous to leave the Nest, and what does he have to gain? What is the trade and what is the challenge? Etc. All that we have established with the Neil example prior.

Through Jean's mantra we get told that Jean has some kind of values attached to being "a Moreau '' and being "part of the Nest/belonging to the Moriyamas". The fatal problem is, we are never told what this actually means.

As readers we can understand why Jean is afraid to leave the nest, what Riko has done and could do to them. But this does not create the conflict we are looking for and plays out in the book. The conflict is happening, but the pov Nora gives us through Jean does not sufficiently explain what this conflict actually is about.

The answer is given implicitly and between the lines. These few bits I will try to spell out and interpret. Further, there could be a stronger case in certain scenarios, to make the conflict around Jeans identify stronger, and his relation to other characters more impactful.

First let's consider:

"What does it mean to be a Moreau?"

When Jean realizes he had been taken from Evermore, he tries to bargain with others and himself that he cannot leave. "Because he is a Moreau", and he belongs to Riko/the Moriyamas. But we are not let in WHY this exactly is a problem. Oh no, how horrible to not be beaten to death. If Jean leaves, Riko and his family will be angry and could try killing him. But the same appears to be possible if he GOES BACK. The whole first chapters establish that Jean is neither safe in nor outside the nest. (He might think it's safer inside, but for the reader, it  is clear this being not the case.)

Therefore, this conflict is not of external stakes, but internal. If Jean leaves, it would mean breaking with his identity, losing himself, creating or letting in problems he formerly avoided or dealt with through the identity he is trying to keep. It is essential that we understand WHAT HE IS TRYING TO UPHOLD.

Duty and being reliable:

I think we can define "being a Moreau" by being a person who has a strong sense of duty. Who is reliable and  sensible. I mainly read this from the fact that Jean asks Jeremy to add "being conform with USC appearance" to his contract. He has a duty to serve Ichiro, and by putting conformity in the contract, by extension he has a duty to be conform.

""You will have to pen it in," Jean said. "I won't sign it unless you do." It was the only way this worked: If Jean signed something that said he had to behave to be allowed to stay on the lineup, he could bite his tongue and stay his fists. It'd piss him off beyond telling, but he could follow orders if it meant surviving another day." p.71(kindle)

But this does not fully explain why breaking with the ravens is problematic for Jean in the beginning of TSC. Nora has not forgotten or overseen this, but it's not explicitly put in the text. Jeans backstory is about being sold to the Moriyamas. He is given the duty by his parents to serve Moriyama. Nora had portrayed it very much in a way that Jean was very reluctant to do. Although understandable, I propose to read this character more strongly. Make this matter more:

Jean is an older brother, prior to being sold, he had already understood himself as a reliable and dutiful person. An older brother to take care of his baby sister. A Moreau to in the future take care of business. resourceful and reasonable. Dutiful and compliant.

When he is told by his parents he is sold "as Moreau" - not as anybody, he is sold with a duty to represent and pay off the depth(?) of his family. Perform on the court, show the worth, protect his family, his baby sister.

His place at Evermore and belonging to Riko would be/is tied to his understanding of being a Morou. Leaving Evermore, would mean to not fulfill his duty, to give up, to be unreliable, since his parents and his sister counted on him.

If we accept "duty" and "reliability" to stand in the center of Jean's identity and conflicts, all other relationships and actions are to be seen from the perspective of Jean trying to protect this identity and stay conform with it. Most notably this strengthens both the events and dynamic between Jean and Kevin, and Jean and Riko respectively.

Riko & The Ravens:

Imagine Jean had been brought to the Nest, unwilling, hurt by betrayal, but with a strong sense of duty to go through with this. Take this burden given to him, and perform. Riko would have picked up on this. The amount of violence, the "breaking in" of Jean was not simply cruelty or any weird family feud thing. It was Rikos testing, an attempt to break Jean's sense of self. If he would not be able to perform on court, not achieve it - he would break his promises. Jean's small but consistent rebellions against Riko are an expression to keep his duty. He plays games even if he is hurt, he does not kill himself. For Jean to fulfill his duty and sense of self(worth) means going along with whatever, and holding out whatever.

Giving up on Evermore is not only breaking his sense of identity and purpose, but also making the pain he insured pointless (as Jeremy notices so fittingly). It means Riko wins by breaking him. His fear of Riko is tied to his fear of losing his sense of self. And him losing Riko means he has failed his duty to play for him on the court. The ravens are described by Jean as "loving and hating" each other respectively. And that nobody in USC could ever understand. But nor can we truly. Why does Jean not hate them, why is he not happy Riko is gone? because it means he failed, and they all contributed to his identity and achievement of his promises. The deal he made with Zane was one of the best insights or examples we are given to understand the Nest. To FEEL the Nest dynamic. Survival, reliance, schemes, dependance. Cruel intimacy to others, to know their secrets and fears. If you are not tight with someone (Jean and Zane, or Jean and Kevin) you also cannot find a way to protect yourself. Knowing Zane loved that one Raven girl and wanted that number, gave him the ability to stay away from Grayson and not break. The ravens, and Riko are not only an obstacle to his success and upholding of his promises, they are the means to an end. He needs them as much as he despises them. That's why leaving them, and Rikos death matters for Jean.

Kevin:

On the other hand we have the relationship between Kevin and Jean. We are given more insight on how Kevin got out of the Nest: by fucking over Jean. This scene or event is gutwrenching BUT it could be STRONGER if Jean would have known and been complicit with Kevin. Jean loved/liked at least cared about Kevin. Although his sense of duty is tied to Riko and the court, there would also be such a sense towards Kevin. Especially if Kevin came and asked him, directly. Confronting Jean with concieving him as a reliable, to be trsuted person. The one friend you count on the get you out of the shit. If one can help him, it is Jean. Because he is a Moreau. If we would read it as Jean accepting the consequences of helping Kevin, we would lose this ark of betrayal. But we would not need to erase the discontent and hurt Jean holds towards Kevin. For Kevin would have known and relied on Jean's self understanding, and played him. Used him as means of an end. Asking a person who is used to compromising their own safety, who understands themselves as a rock at a shore and understands the pain and fear one goes through - calling/playing on that is as much as a betrayal and use of a person as it is simple "not telling him". It makes it worse in some sense, because it highlights the intimacy between Kevin and Jean. They knew each other very well, and Kevin used that knowledge, in raven fashion, to survive.

(On the other hand, I would agree one could read it in the original way, Jean not knowing, because Kevin is aware of Jean's understanding of duty. That Jean would feel the sense that he NEEDS to betray Kevin. So there is still room for interpretation.)

SUMMERY:

Okay, okay. That was a lot. Let's surmise what I claim: That Jeans sense of self is shaped by duty, more explicitly the one he holds from his parents to be perfect court, please the Moriyamas and protect his family (sister).

Leaving the Ravens endangers all of this, all his sense of self and all he has done to achieve it.

Riko dying means there is never a way back, and he has failed. It upheaves all he is and wants, even though Riko and the Ravens did horrible things to him.

Neil making the deal with Ichiro formed a new duty, and gave him a way out. A compromise. Play court, but with USC. And still Jean loses a lot, or everything he considered constitutive of himself when he leaves the Ravens and comes to USC.

Whom he has duties to? Formerly his Raven partner, now? Jeremy offers to take the role. His experiences and background make him take duties towards the other Trojans to give him a sense of worth (asking if Cody is ok with touching/flirting with them.)

Neil drags him to the FBi and Stuard, and he comes to know all of his efforts to protect his family had been in vain. And it is that point in which his last tie of "old" sense of duty, breaks off. He cannot hold onto the same ideas and rules, duties and objectives as before.

For Jean, this break  is what is for Neil the end of a whole arc.

Whilst AFTG and TSC are similar in theme, they are very different in their outset. Whilst Neils whole arc is about getting and learning his new identity, Jean has to go through that all in one book. That's why we see and feel a great parallel between both characters, but also the arc itself. The telling of information, the parallel of fear of losing the old and gaining the new. Of betraying one's old identity/family in the end, and offer of a new, better, alternative.

However, Jeans arc does not end there. His story appears to be more about healing and the disconnect between outer, imposed, duty and value, and self-worth.

I think that's also why we get so little insight of Jeremys conflict in the first book. We get enough hints that have very likely to do with Jeremy being gay, stepfather, cops, maybe drugs and the family being publicly known. It has to do with imposed identity from the outside, self vs outer worth and dealing with that. We get so little from Jeremy, not only because he is an expert in talking and thinking around his own problems and issues, but because the story has Jean not ready yet. Jean first has to come in the same state Jeremy has been, or is in, before they both start pushing and pulling each other. Like Andrew and Neil could only start developing after Neil starts to compromise and change his sense of self, his willingness to be more than simple lying Neil Josten.

The same applies for Jean and Jeremy. But the end goal is about healing, and creating one's own self worth, rather than becoming a whole new self.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

p.s. I love Kevin, don't touch him.

[agro-carnist]

Now that I'm slightly less in the spotlight, I'd like to talk about what has been going on and give my side. I'm sure you've all seen what has been said about me, but in case you haven't, this will include a discussion about zoophilia, zoosadism, pedophilia, and taboo kink/fetish.

I've taken several days to write this because I needed to clear my head so I could write something concise. I did not want to immediately write something too quickly that I couldn't think through.

I don't expect anyone to completely understand me or totally agree with my opinions, but I am writing this with full sincerity. I'd just like a little bit of faith when you read this. My positions are based on the science that I read, and I try to be someone that sticks to the side of evidence, not one of pure feelings or assumptions or what we think is common sense, even when it is difficult to understand or seems counterintuitive. I've always preached this principle on here, so I hope you all feel the same way. I ask that you read this with that in mind. Even if you don't reach the same conclusion as me, consider what I say and what I give with good faith.

All linked sources with restricted access can be read by copy/pasting the url or title into sci-hub

First, that twitter account is mine. The art contained on the twitter account is mine. Yes it is graphic. No I am not a zoophile, zoosadist, or pedophile. I understand this kind of art is disgusting and/or disturbing to many people. That is why I kept it on an account specifically for this kind of extreme art. It is why I don't advertise it. I am not secretive about my kinks/fetishes - I enjoy things like gore, noncon, and animal characters - but I know when and where these kinds of things are appropriate. Some of my art is not meant for a general audience. I won't advertise it to anyone and everyone to see because it can be upsetting to most people. That's also why I give plenty of content warnings and include the twitter censor that blurs the image and you have to click 'show' on to see. And that's why I believe posting screenshots of this material with my username, showing everyone exactly where to go to find this content, is irresponsible. I know the people that posted it think they're doing a service, but this is how children find content they shouldn't see. Callouts are how people find things they otherwise would never see. I, personally, don't think calling people out this way helps kids. I think it does more harm than good. My twitter was public but is now private because I don't want curious minors to look me up and look at what is on the account.

I understand that it can be hard to know why someone would enjoy erotic art of violence between animal characters without being a zoophile/zoosadist. But there are many reasons people enjoy taboo erotica without desiring it in the real world. About half of people experience paraphilic sexual fantasies, and the fantasies alone are not indicative of pathology. Deviant sexual fantasies are, in fact, "within the normal realm of human experience." There is little evidence that fantasy alone means someone wants to or will commit a sexual offense. Forced sex fantasies are extremely common. Violent sexual fantasies are not abnormal. Sex therapists and educators acknowledge that fantasies are not necessarily repressed desires. Sexual fantasy is not sexual desire. It's ok for our sexual interests to not reflect our moral code. Often taboo sexual fantasies are a way to explore how we feel about things, like repulsion. Humans are curious animals. We have morbid curiosities. Fantasies can be a way to experience something that would be immoral to act upon.

Why I am into taboo kink is hard to explain, and a lot of it I don't understand myself - human minds are very complex - but I can try to explain some of it. I enjoy exploring the darker parts of humanity. We're still animals and that means we still hold onto aspects that don't align with our morals. We have morbid curiosities. When we pass by a car crash, we want to see it, or when someone tells us something disturbing is spreading on the internet, we take interest in what it could be. Art is a way to fulfill that curiosity without any victims. Another thing is that it can be fun or therapeutic to imagine yourself in situations of bodily harm. That's probably confusing, but I like to explore what my body looks like on the inside, or what it would feel like to experience certain physical traumas, without the threat of dying. Fear and arousal are closely intertwined. The animal characters I draw are also very far removed from real world animals. They are sapient and behave very human. To me the only difference between them and an anthro furry character is the number of legs they walk on and the lack of clothes.

Because I draw this kind of content, many people are claiming that I am faking having ZOCD and my intrusive thoughts, or that my intrusive thoughts have turned into wanted thoughts. They say that if I really was distressed by these thoughts, I wouldn't engage with them through art. But my intrusive thoughts are about real people and animals. I do not have intrusive thoughts about characters. I watch movies and read books with murder, kidnapping, torture, disease, and freak accidents and enjoy these pieces of media. This does not negate the fact that I have intrusive thoughts about these things or the distress I feel regarding them. Someone getting hurt in a movie does not distress me. My intrusive thoughts include ideas of me or a loved one getting hurt, or me suddenly hurting someone. Intrusive thoughts target your fears and your morals. They make you question who you are as a person. That's why thoughts of real world violence are so distressing and depictions of violence in media are (usually) not. I fear losing someone I love, I fear losing a part of my mind or body, I fear losing control of my humanity and hurting someone, I fear loss of inhibition that makes me do things I wouldn't otherwise do. I don't fear hurting a character or a character doing a bad thing to another character. When I'm obsessing and becoming paranoid it's not over things that happen in fictional worlds. My therapist doesn't have to reassure me that I'll be ok if something bad happens in that fictional world. She does have to reassure me that the world isn't out to get me and that I don't have to act on a thought. Others with OCD might find media that resembles the content of their intrusive thoughts triggering, and that's normal, but not everyone will react the same. Not everyone copes with their mental illnesses the same way or has the same triggers. Most violent depictions just don't garner that same reaction from me because I don't have any moral qualms with fake people or animals getting hurt since they aren't real victims. It doesn't attack my moral beliefs that way. It may be upsetting to see, but doesn't make me fear for my or others' safety.

I love horror movies and haunted houses. I love the adrenaline and fear I experience during them. But I still metaphorically shit my pants at the thought of an actual serial killer stalking me and jumping out of a hiding spot. The difference is that the former exists in a safe space that I can leave and where I know it's a script. How I feel about a scenario in fiction does not dictate how I feel about it happening in the real world. To tell me that I don't actually have the disorder that I've been diagnosed with is extremely upsetting. So is to tell me I'm hiding secret bloodthirsty desires behind a mental illness or that I'm making OCD look bad by not having a moral conundrum about fake people or animals being hurt. I especially don't appreciate people that don't have OCD preaching about what "real" intrusive thoughts are or what I should or should not be doing while having OCD. The things that have been said to or about me have been undeniably ableist. And the distress that has caused me has just been brushed aside because I don't adhere to what people think I as a person with OCD "should" act like. I feel like I'm not being granted agency over my own experiences.

I am even being compared to some of the worst people like Kero the wolf or HypnotistSappho. I hope you believe me when I say that is truly disgusting and offensive. These were the kinds of people that belonged to groups for sharing material of real animals being tortured for sexual pleasure, or tried to start an organization to promote bestiality, or openly promoted zoophilia and pedophilia as normal sexual orientations, or actively abused children and animals. I have not done anything like that. My artistic expression is nothing like their real world, extensive and widespread levels of abuse. I am so offended that I'd spend years spreading animal welfare advocacy, including explicitly anti-bestiality rhetoric, only to be lumped in with monsters, like my art erases all the work I've done. How someone could believe I actually desire to torture animals baffles me. How someone could think all this work was just master manipulation to con everyone so I could secretly abuse leaves my head spinning.

I also haven't ever claimed that my nsfw art is a coping mechanism for my OCD/intrusive thoughts. This is an assumption people have made. Occasionally elements of my intrusive thoughts will make their way into my art as a way to confront them head on on my own terms, but almost always are not a factor in my nsfw art. Art based on my intrusive thoughts as catharsis I don't share publicly.

Yes, I enjoy hurting fictional characters. They exist in a world with no consequences. Nobody actually gets hurt. Anything can happen to them and nothing about the world changes. I have no desire to hurt an animal, because that impacts the real world. I have never looked at an animal and felt excitement at the idea of hurting it. I have never felt attraction to an animal. I have never felt the urge to make sexual contact with an animal. I have never experienced attraction to a child, either.

I am also being accused of being a pedophile. This is because I made a tweet saying I enjoy explicitly abusive relationships between adult and minor characters, but don't enjoy minor/adult ships depicted as cute or wholesome. People interpret this as me having a malicious desire to abuse a child. But here's the thing: you don't know why someone enjoys a certain dynamic. Many people that like to see abusive relationships depicted in stories or erotica are survivors of abuse themselves. Many people use kink as a coping mechanism, and the stigma of their kink play often hinders them from trauma recovery. Like I said before, kink and fantasy are not morality guidebooks. This also assumes every character drawn in ship art or erotica is an object of attraction to those that create or consume it. But even porn can serve a purpose other than arousal. Personally I just like these dynamics because they offer a compelling story and/or character interactions that can explore trauma and its effects and can feel therapeutic to work through.

Art does not exist in a vacuum. I don't argue it does. Art is influenced by its creator. But you can't look at the content of someone's kink or fantasy to judge the quality of someone's character. This is the position of professionals that study and counsel people. Whether or not someone commits a sexual offense is more influenced by that person's personality traits, moral positions, pre-existing positive beliefs about offending, environment, and negative emotional states. And, look, fiction does indeed effect reality, but there is little evidence that porn encourages someone to offend or results in more violent offenses. Availability of porn may even be associated with lower levels of sexual aggression. This professional report goes into great detail on sexual offending and concludes that there is no reason "scientific or otherwise" for criminalization of any type of virtual porn because it does not lead to offending, and may even provide a substitute for people that may otherwise offend. Even if you find that content reprehensible. Offensive art has its place and deserves to exist. That is the position I have come to based on the scientific evidence.

And I want to make another thing clear: I am not a proshipper. Disliking the position of one group does not make me a member of a different group. I have no desire to put myself in a category, I just have my own opinions. I also have plenty of issues with the proship community. I just now look at fiction and kink with more nuance than I used to. I don't participate in fearmongering based on knee-jerk reactions to media anymore.

Going forward I'm going to do my best to be more responsible with my nsfw accounts. Any interactions I've made with minors are honest mistakes. I genuinely don't want to expose minors to my nsfw or interact with them. I don't go out seeking minors to talk to. But I know interacting with minors through an nsfw account is serious, so I'm going to do better to police myself and always check that no one I'm interacting with is underage.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Sadly I expect many people won't read this, they'll just continue to repeat "zoophile" and "pedophile." But I really appreciate you if you took the time to read. I know many people really do want to be good and believe they are protecting people by engaging in callouts against people for their fictional interests. I think most people have their hearts in the right place but are misguided by the current culture. And I don't mind if you disagree with me, but I always want people to take their positions with the most information. I want there to be honest discussions about these topics, not naming and shaming people.

I might make updates to this post if I think of things I forgot to address. Like I said, it's been many days of my head buzzing and this post is also very long. I welcome any good faith questions or concerns. People that come just to attack in bad faith will just be blocked. I won't humor that. Please meet me with the same honesty I came with. I want to continue to do good.

-Agro