#wrote some decent poems though

[booksncraftssapphic]

Today in ADHD:

I got up off of my couch at 2:30 pm, feeling energized and ready to actually get something done. I decided to start a load of laundry and then cut the grass, as those two chores badly needed to be done.

I put detergent into the washing machine, changed into grass cutting clothes, got out my laundry basket . . . and then spent the following three hours reading and writing poetry.

Good job brain.

[mia-nina-lilly]

The self-brainwashing promoted by the ACoTaR fandom is truly impressive. I’ve talked to people who said they don’t remember the fact that Rhysand entered Feyre’s mind without permission and made her see herself trying on lingerie for him as if that wasn’t a big deal, and I’ve seen people who said they don’t remember that Tamlin wrote a poem for Feyre specifically to help her learn new words more easily – with the intent of assisting her in learning to read in a fun way.

In other words, even though this is canon, the large amount of content produced on social media, especially on TikTok and Instagram, promotes ideas and perceptions so false that they affect people's memories. They read it and intellectually know it, but, I don't know, maybe emotionally, they can't connect the dots because of the massive amount of information that preaches the exact opposite: Rhysand is good and only good, Tamlin is bad and only bad.

Of course, I can't ignore the author's own influence on this, whose writing reinforces this idea as well, despite the fact that, when you observe things from outside the protagonist’s head, you can clearly see how many things are wrong in Feyre’s perspective, how biased she is, and how SJM does nothing to change that. But it's really this self-brainwashing machine that impresses me. Some people seem to be purposefully blinding themselves, making it very difficult to have any kind of minimally decent dialogue about the saga.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for using a poem I wrote for my ex-girlfriend to apply for a scholarship?

I'm pretty sure that I'm not TA here, we're still on good terms anyway and it's unlikely she'll ever even find out about this unless I outright tell her, but I'd like to know if I'm committing some grievous social faux pas here.

So. I (21F) met my ex-girlfriend, who we'll call Jolene (22F) online a couple years back. The specifics of how we met will make it immediately obvious to anyone who knows either of us that it's me writing the AITA post, so I'm going to leave those out, but we were friends for a while before she asked me out, and it's relevant that we became friends over writing. We hit it off pretty well for a while, to the point where I wrote a poem being incredibly gay for her despite not (then) being much of a poet at all.

And then I went to visit her in person. Y'see, she'd come to visit me in person the previous winter, and that went fine, barring the fact that I ended up being super overwhelmed by the end of the visit—suffice to say that I'm extremely asexual, and she's extremely not. This came to a head when I went to visit her, she constantly wanted to be hanging out and doing things, and I straight up could not handle that much social interaction with anyone for that long. It got to the point where I was straight up dreading being with her, so I took a step back, examined my feelings, and decided yeah, we'd probably be better off as friends or as queerplatonic partners or something nonromantic.

We're still on fairly good terms, I'd say? Though I still feel extremely awkward over the circumstances of said breakup, she can't change how she is and I can't change how I am, and she's really happy with her new girlfriend so. Hell yeah. We love to see it. (There's also the additional complication that I might be something approaching arospec, but. Y'know. Details.)

Fast forward to today, several months after our breakup. I'm applying for scholarships for my university. I happen to be going for an English major and one of the available scholarships involves submitting up to 5 poems of any length. I remember, abruptly, the poem I wrote for her, go looking in our DMs, and—yep, there it is. Still incredibly gay.

Between that and some haikus about wildlife (long story), that brings my count of poems up to four of the five total allowed. I haven't submitted the application yet, but I've only got four days left to, and I absolutely don't have to submit my extremely gay poem alongside the wildlife haikus, I'm looking at the application right now and it says up to 5 poems of any length, presumably implying that I can have anywhere from 1-5 poems in that document.

But... I really want to. I'm not romantically in love with Mabel anymore, and while our personalities don't mesh super well these days, I still care about her a lot and if this is some giant social faux pas I'm unaware of (I'm unaware of a lot of those, I've never gotten formally diagnosed with anything but I highly doubt I'm remotely neurotypical if that's relevant) and it feels kind of like a way of saluting the relationship that was good while it lasted?

Also, and possibly more relevantly to the scholarship thing, it's a halfway decent poem. Nothing award-winning, but I'll never get any scholarships if I don't try for them, y'know? ...And I kind of really need the scholarships, due to reasons best brought up in an entirely different AITA post involving my mom.

So. Uh. Yeah. I know what I'll be doing regardless, no way this gets a solid judgment before it's time to submit, but I do want to know if it's an AH move or not. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[the-danmei-multiverse-and-angst]

Danmei I've read & Love and My Ratings (mostly angst with happy endings)

MDZS/Mo Dao Zu Shin (Angst) /5🌟 TGCF/Heaven Officials Blessing (Angst) / 5🌟 Yuwu/Remnants of Filth (❤️‍🩹🥹 Angst) /5🌟 Sword Named No Way Out (Angst) /5🌟 Would You Like to Have A Drink /4🌟 Wu Chang Jie (Angst🥹) /5🌟 War Prisoner (Angst) /5🌟 Cold Sands (Angst/Bittersweet Ending/not a HE but not a bad ending) /5🌟 The Ugly Empress (Angst) /5🌟 Swallowing the Seas (Modern/Angst) /5🌟 Mo Du/Silent Reading (Modern/some decent Angst) /5🌟 Cherry Blossoms Upon a Wintry Sword ( Some Angst) /5🌟 Nan Chan (Angst) /5🌟 Misvil (Mistakenly Saving The Villain/Angst but with comedic tone...hard to explain but has TWs) /5🌟 Blind Concubine (Angst/No HE, Bittersweet? Haven't read in a long time) /5🌟 Spring Trees & Sunset Clouds (Angst) /5🌟 Huitian /5🌟 Ballad of Song & Wine (Qiang Jin Jiu)/ 5🌟 Peerless /Wushuang /5🌟 Can Ci Pin/ 5🌟 Kaleidoscope of Death/5🌟 Global University Entrance Exam/5🌟 Mist /5🌟 Copper Coins ( A little bit of Angst to me, but still a great story, HE)/ 5🌟 Governor's Illness /5🌟 Faraway Wanderers /5🌟 It's Not Easy Being a Master (Angst)/5🌟 Record of the Missing Sect Master (Angst) /5🌟 Stranger (KR novel) /4🌟 Thrive In Catastrophe /5🌟 The Legendary Master's Wife /4🌟 Rebirth of The Supreme Celestial Being /4🌟

I wrote a poem for Cold Sands danmei novel years ago, right after I finished the novel because I was so inspired by the story and it made my heart ache. Here is the poem:

Wings clipped by truth The fall swift and harsh Lies unveiled  Fate strung a web of deceit  A trap, snaring the victim This bird, tied down Voice cut-out -silenced Never to sing Never to cry out Never to sing its beautiful melodies once more Never to give sound to its pain The world itself, what a beautiful cage- A big and wide unknown, and sometimes deceitful place Freedom- is only a short illusory image  Unobtainable- A Mirage in the desert when one is dying from thirst Just out of reach, as though grasping at sand as it slips through your fingertips And as the dark begins to unravel Twist and unwind- Mighty is the weight thrust upon the heart, Subduing its pulse, the beating drum- a strangled ba-thump...ba-thump...ba-thump... An anchor drowning the soul, Just as as heavy as one that bears a crown upon their head,  No escape is possible now  As the strings of fate tighten, the birds wings are broken Fragmented and shattered Unable to never fly Never again to soar the skies

(End/ Extra below)

......

Did you ever once hear the Greek tale of a boy, the boy who wanted to fly close to the sun?

His father created wings of made wax for his child and warned him, told him not to fly to high, to not fly to close to the sun.

However, the boy, Icarus, didn't listen to his father's words.

He flew, soaring higher, and higher, as close as he could get to the sun. His wings made of wax were melted away by the suns brilliance and Icarus fell to earth.

To his end.

And the Lotus flower, that blooms at the bottom of a lake, steeped in mud, struggles and craves, longing and yearning for the suns brilliance, but they can never touch the sun.

And a bird, born with wings to fly, can only fly so high, but never crossing that line, that boundary.

And sometimes love is just the same.

Not every story can have a happy ending, no matter the toil, the strife, the pain.

And some times, no my matter how much you love someone, you may forever be enemies, on opposing sides, love hidden deep in your heart, and all you can do, is to stare wistfully at the horizon, yearning until the end.

[harmonic-melodii]

Writerly Questionnaire

Thanks, @davycoquette, It's time for me to drop some more lore about myself! My answers will most likely end up longwinded. And here's a link to the original post too for the questions if you'd like to fill them out yourself! Link

About You

When did you start writing?

I started writing around 2016, so when I was about 12 years old. I was already an avid reader and devoured every single book I came across. Back then my stories were much more fantastical, but the passion never died.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

I will never write Historical Fiction despite it being one of my favorite genres to read. Books that delve into alternative history or simple romance stories that take place around historic events have always held a special place in my heart. Why will I never write in that genre? Because I'm not built for the research that goes into creating those settings.

I also enjoy the occasional romance novel, though I don't write romance-specific stories. The lightheartedness is a much-needed break from the gritty stories and concepts I write. At most I include romantic subplots in some things, but I don't like focusing on romance as a plot.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

Not for my fantasy works. For sci-fi, I would like to emulate Ray Bradbury. I've always loved his books and short stories. And how he wrote about the human condition and its interactions with technology for better and worse. Though I cannot say I have written anything as profound yet.

As for poetry, I'm heavily inspired by many African-American poets like Langston Hughes and Maya Angelou. As a young black woman myself, I hold a lot of respect for similar artists in my discipline that came before me. And while my poems are inspired by my experiences and struggles with race, I believe they can bridge gaps of understanding.

Overall, I have never been compared to any authors.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

My writing spaces are as chaotic and fluid as me. Sometimes I will be sitting at my desk with a water bottle and typing on my computer. Other times I'll lie in bed at 2 am typing furiously into my notes app. Hell, I have a tiny spiral notebook that's a bunch of index cards with entire plots and character profiles. I write wherever and whenever I can.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Music. I create countless playlists, some of which I'll share soon. I probably have over 70 total. Not all for my WIP or other characters that exist, but all of them are for writing in some form or another. Otherwise, I try to regularly consume new media. That is a lot harder because it takes so much energy for me to engage with new content, but when it works it works.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Not necessarily. Very little of my inspiration comes from the beach town I grew up in. Rather I'm influenced by places where I've endured insane life trauma. Don't worry, there's no trauma dumping here. I want to write about those places because it allows me to visit them again safely and on my own terms.

As for people, yes a handful of my characters are inspired by people I've met. Some are not the best. But hey, it makes for decent inspiration.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

I feel like I always gravitate towards writing about religion in some form or another. I was raised Christian myself and currently identify as Agonistic. I like deconstructing faith and what it means to believe in something greater than yourself. So it doesn't entirely surprise me that I circle back to religion in one way or another.

I also write a lot about family dynamics and the platonic love or lack thereof within those dynamics. And about the limits of love and what is considered "too much".

Your Characters

Me? Talking about the lesbians in my novel?? Yep!

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

Hands down my favorite character in the cast is Aaliyah. She's the main protagonist. An optimistic college freshman, who has an intense thirst for knowledge. She was raised by her father, Ezra, all on his own. Ever since she could remember it's only been the two of them. She's funny, sweet, but very sheltered at the end of the day.

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

I think I'd be decent friends with Graham. She's a guitarist in a rock band. A little rough around the edges, but I'd love to hear the music she plays.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

It'd probably be Ezra. He's a strict man and quite judgmental of people. If anything he'd dislike me first and I'd simply have to fire back on principle.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

In general, all of my characters start as an idea or concept. For example: Graham came to fruition because I thought it'd be funny for the man who oversees campus safety at this small college to have a rebellious daughter. Then slowly, I add more details about who she is as a person. I ask "why?" questions all of the time. Once I have a solid idea of who they are, I connect them to other characters. Sometimes relationships come before the solid idea and they help.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

I write so many lgbtq+ and people of color. I genuinely don't think I have many cishet white characters. Because if they're not straight, then they're bisexual, lesbian, or asexual. I write a handful of trans people (Graham my darling beloved is trans). And I don't write a ton of white people because I enjoy writing things that represent me and my communities.

When it comes to this specific unnamed WIP the characters share themes of guilt, love, and rebellion. Which is what creates the perfect storm of the plot they find themselves in.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.)

I use picrews to imagine what my characters look like. I don't draw and I prefer the blank canvas I get with avatar creators. It's very freeing.

Your Writing

What’s your reason for writing?

I write to share my thoughts and feelings. My opinions will be heard one way or another.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Honestly, most comments are motivating enough. Just the idea that someone looked at my work and felt compelled to write something about it is enough for me.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Character building and writing tension. I feel both go hand in hand when you're writing scenes. The stronger the character the better potential for a tangible relationship between the two.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Professors have complimented me on tension and character-building. I've been told I have the ability to really dig things out.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

It's fun and cool. Best hobby ever!

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Definitely. In fact, I'd probably write in obscure and weird places. Like I'd get paint and write lines of poetry on the street. Things like that. All of my writing doesn't need to be read, I just like getting it out of my head.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

As someone who has also written fanfiction, I don't care what other people enjoy. I write for myself first and foremost. Because for every single person who doesn't like my writing, I know there's at least a handful of people who love it. If I focused on what people enjoyed reading I simply wouldn't be writing my WIP novel.

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Tag list time !

@sodaliteskull @honeybewrites @cowboybrunch @writeblragenda

+ Open tag to anyone else who wants to participate!

[raayllum]

Hi! I noticed that most of the Sorpeli content by you and @jelzorz tend to be more from Opeli's perspective than Soren's. I was just curious if you'd say there's some reason for that or if it's just how it happened?

I have a few drabbles (confessions ch1, saint of lost children) and Jelly has a few oneshots from Soren's POV ("the snake" which is multi-pov, "the seed" which is entirely soren's) and I have a multichap I'm working on where it goes back and forth between their POV pretty evenly.

That said: I think you're right that we ultimately do lean more on Opeli's POV, and I think that's for a few reasons. The first is that as High Cleric (depending on headcanons) she has more room to grow/change in falling in love with Soren. It means re-evaluating how he's changed through the years (and sometimes herself) and also her vows and possible crises of faith / politics. She's also the older one and more likely to be in denial about things, whereas Soren tends to be more emotionally aware, less traditional, and would have less barriers around the concept of pursing someone or needing to be 'careful/cautious' in doing so. She's having more of the "newer" experiences than he is with romance/love/feelings, so she gets the focus.

Opeli has more turmoil with it usually, so we lean on her POV, I think. That doesn't mean Soren can't catch up though, I plan on putting him through the wringer too in "Virtues and Vices". some POV from their early early days (aka like 6ish months post-S3 where they're just starting to become friends):

It takes time, but eventually he has a poem he’s decently proud of—it’s pretty, it rhymes, and it took him the better part of two weeks to perfect—and no one to show it to. So he goes to Ezran. “Your Majesty,” he greets when he takes Corvus’ place on morning crownguard shift. Ezran smiles and rolls his eyes from the throne. “Yes, Soren?” “I thought I might ask you a favour.” All his bravado falters, just a bit, even as Ezran perks up more excitedly. “After today’s council meeting, I sort of wrote a poem, and—” “We’d love to hear it!” Soren slowly smiles. “Alright then!” He puffs out his chest, warm confidence spreading through his veins. He can do this. “I’ll perform my poetic debut later today, then.”  He does so with a flourishing bravado and a pleased grin. Ezran claps; Corvus smiles and gives an awkward thumbs up, which is just his way. Callum busies himself with sketching until he can school his expression into something supportive, maybe, but Soren didn’t expect to get much out of him.  (No one really does, these days. Not since Rayla left.) Opeli smiles, hand half hiding the curve of it, but there’s a glimmer of amusement in her eyes he’s never seen before. It distracts him; Opeli is stern and serious, and she smiles when she’s happy, sure (which is already kind of rare) but he’s never even seen her laugh. What about his performance could possibly be amusing? Some spinach from his salad at lunch still stuck in his teeth? She slips out into the hall and he’s so busy talking to Corvus and Ezran he almost doesn’t notice, and then his feet carry him forward before she turns the corner. “Opeli, wait!” She does so, standing with an arched brow and that persisted, bemused little glimmer as he jogs to catch up. 

[wendelsae]

I don't like Paradise Lost at all.

it's broken in epic structure, everything in Heaven is utterly hokey & laughable, something like 90% poetic filler, of course I don't agree with the premise. the decent parts are the scenes in Hell that everyone remembers but are basically pointless, and the actual core of Adam's & Eve's relationship.

it would have been better as a tragedy as Milton had initially imagined.

Dante did so much better to make a Christian epic. though of course Dante was semipagan, whereas Milton can't mention a pagan idea without a content warning. Dante knew that IHVH should be on screen as Azathoth, not as a talking man- Milton had to vent his Arianism though- and he knew to focus the poem on the human experience- among many other things he knew. and he also didn't try to mimick the Classical Epic, he wrote something different.

I think that the Classical Epic is an inherently pagan genre; the central awareness that there are men in conflict on the earth and gods in conflict in heaven, with reverence & sorrow for all, is irreconciliable with Christian and post-christian moralizing dualism. Milton doesn't have this at all, whereas Dante is worshipful to even some of the worse damned souls. and of course Milton is trying to fit the types of scenes & structure of the Æneid around a topic that's utterly unsuited to that sort of treatment.

and Dante also doesn't go on & on & on, he has a succinct, vivid, swordly style in the Comedy- less so in the earlier poems- whereas Milton goes on & on & on & on & on with no point save to conform to Poetry, and indeed most of the poem is basically this.

Beowulf is also a better Christian epic, since again it focuses on the individual human experience rather than on the counterfeit divine, has a properly epic topic (while not trying to mimick a Classical Epic, it belongs to a different tradition), and shows praiseworthy sides of Christian virtue, namely Stoic ones.

[moonchild-in-blue]

darya 👀👀👀👀 you maybe happen to have more women x death imagery like the one by Appolonia Saintclair? i can kneel and bow and do chores and i can cook decently if you care and i can kiss your knuckles tenderly btw … whatever it takes

Sophi honey, I am so sorry about the upcoming infodumping...... This is probably not quite what you asked at all, but alas. The art graduate jumped out. I don't have many sexy naked ladies riding Death for you, so here's a very brief overlook of Death and The Maiden depictions in art instead?

(i accept the cooking and kisses and return them tenfold)

For those who are wondering, this is referring to this beautiful piece by @apolloniasaintclairofficial, tasteful drawing of a naked woman sitting on Death's lap, while he holds a dagger. Beautiful and erotic.

I mentioned in the tags how much I loved seeing depictions of Death and women in art. Now, in art history, this is a recurring motif dubbed Death and The Maiden, often with erotic and sacrilegious undertones, and particularly prevalent amongst German artists. I did a quick google research on the origins of it, and according to the internet, was a common theme since the Middle ages, originating from the Danse Macabre allegories, with a significant revival in the Romantic Period. (wikipage here)

The allegorical motif of ‘Death and the Maiden’ (a young girl, often in a passionate embrace with a skeletal figure) had been popular with German artists and musicians since the Middle Ages, and its reminder of transience and mortality was especially appropriate during this period of foreboding (referring to WWI). [taken from the Tate's entry about Meidner's Death and the Maiden]

Here are some very interesting articles about Death and The Maiden throughout history - Paintings for our time: Death and the Maiden and Death and the Maiden. From Schubert to Schiele. I read them both while researching this, super informative without being overtly verbose. Great selection of art pieces.

Death and the woman, by E. Munch

I'm very fond of this drawing by Munch (huge fan of his lol). Every time I see Death and Women embracing each other so tenderly, my heart breaks for a second. There's just something that is equal parts sensual and tender, something that transcends the inherent sexual appeal of erotic art, something poetic and poignant. Oof.

Here are some selected pieces by K. Kollwitz - X X, and this beautiful piece by E. Schiele (a student of Klimt, you can see the similarities in style).

Also, the revival during the Romantic period was in great part due to Schubert's Der Tod und das Mädchen (Death and the maiden), a lied he wrote based on this beautiful poem by Matthias Claudius, which would later be used in his piece String Quartet No. 14, also known and Death and the maiden. The poem:

The Maiden: Pass me by! Oh, pass me by! Go, fierce man of bones! I am still young! Go, dear, And do not touch me. And do not touch me. Death: Give me your hand, you beautiful and tender form! I am a friend, and come not to punish. Be of good cheer! I am not fierce, Softly shall you sleep in my arms!

Also! I found this super interesting book (it's a free english pdf) called Erotism - Death and Sensuality (og. L'Erotisme) by Georges Bataille, which explores in depth the relationship between erotica, death, taboo, sacrifice, Christianity, and many other themes. I haven't read it but this does look incredibly interesting so. I know what I'll be reading next.

I could go on and on and on about WHY I am so fascinated by these themes, but that would result in yet another big-ass post, and I think this is enough info for one day lol.

(before I forget, I just want to point out that this directly overlaps with depictions of Hades and Persephone, seeing as Hades was often times associated with Death itself - even though Thanatos is the one who embodies the Reaper figure in the Greek myths. So I'm sure you'll find some other tasteful pieces if you go down that route).

[magnus-sm-writes]

10k Update

I’ve decided I’m going to do a revamp of my writing updates for every 10,000 words I write. It’s a pretty good way to keep up with everything I write that doesn’t make it in the monthly update by virtue of it just being too damn long ago.

It’s pretty early in the month for me to have already reached 10,000 words, but I’ll admit I’ve been a bit of a powerhouse lately with my writing. Maybe it’s because I haven’t slept much? I always seem to be more creative when I’m a little loopy. My brand of creativity seems to thrive when I’m just slightly off-balance.

Regardless, I’m thrilled to say that I’ve written some pretty decent work so far. 

The first thing I wrote for was for Silver Storm, a novel that features Hiprax, the son of a silver dragon. It takes place in my Dragonworld, a world that is literally made of a sleeping dragon. Undoubtedly my coolest worldbuilding ever, and perhaps even my magnum opus when it comes to worldbuilding.

(I hope not, but as of now, it is.)

My husband adores this most of anything I’ve ever written for Silver Storm. This was wonderful for my ego; he’s pretty tough on books. Especially my fantasy books, because that is the main genre he reads. For him to shower this snippet with compliments… it does things to a man’s confidence.

I did work on part of this last month. Obviously inspired by Baldur’s Gate 3, I went a little further into Hiprax’s experience adapting to dracon culture after he loses his mother, Vrynnd. Having been raised as a sitaav elve (this world’s equivalent of a frost elf), he’s disconnected from the draconic origin of his life. So much so that he doesn’t know his father is a dragon at all and just believes him to be a dracon, the offspring of dragons.

That’s a lot of worldbuilding to contextualize an excerpt, but again, I’m nothing if not wordy.

Hiprax does not believe himself to show many draconic traits. There are, of course, the obvious: he loves shiny things, he loves great heights, he loves the wind against his scales. He wouldn’t count himself as having the same type of pride that other dracons do. 

Then, I decided I would fully commit to editing my Q1 Short Stories™ and began my edit of “The Boy & The Hag Stone”. Since I’ve already edited “Plastic Fangs”, and because I spoke about “Hag Stone” more recently, I chose it to edit instead of my beloved vampires. 

Banshee is a very special character to me. In the words of Laszlo Cravensworth:

“He’s my best friend, he’s my pal, he’s my homeboy, my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my good time boy.”

Which is, of course, how I feel about all of my Weirdo Characters™, but especially Banshee. I gave Banshee some parts of myself: his wild, dark hair, his uncanny stare, his hatred of shoes. (I really fucking hate shoes.) To Rishi, I gave my love of run-on sentences and cup noodles. 

Here’s my favorite tiny excerpt from his edit!

Banshee was a ghost, a lost soul, a feral child all grown up. He never left footprints; instead, asphodels grew wherever he walked. Every time he predicted rain, there was, and every time he predicted clear skies, there were.

I got very obsessed with Brutus (of Julius Caesar fame) for a brief period of time. So obsessed I wrote a poem and half of a short story about him. My Brutus obsession has resulted in poem before, but very rarely do I allow a poem to germinate into a short story.

This short story was pretty unique. I did it in the style of “The Cannon” by Kelly Link: a Q&A. My husband liked it only because of the “interesting form” and not so much for the content, because he is “not interested in that sort of thing” (i.e., writing about Roman politicians doing an interview in maybe-Purgatory.) I’ll give him points, though; the style is pretty unconventional.

Q: Did it hurt?

A: Does pulling a tooth hurt? Does drinking poison hurt? Of course it did. It hurt as though I was stabbing myself. His blood looked exactly like mine. 

It’s not finished yet, but I think it’s more of a way to adventure into different forms than a way to tell an actual story. There’s some slappage there, though.

Then I worked on some blog posts, including a WIP intro and some character intros for Double-Trickery! This is one of my favorite books to write for. Penny and Mavuto’s dynamic is something pretty unique in my work. Every couple I write is some level of codependent, but learning necromancy just because you think your best friend (or the “love of your life”) is dead? Damn, that’s conviction.

That’s the wrap-up for now! In all, I’m quite pleased with all I’ve done as of late. It’s only been six days, and I’m already in the double digits when it comes to word count. Hell yeah!

Tag list: @jacqueswriteblrlibrary

[matadorofheart]

Fannish Fest February, Day 1: your first fandom

my first fandom was zelda! when i was 11, i had some friends who were really into it, and would talk about it all the time. i'd never really played games like that before-- i was into nintendo, but hadn't really played any of the main series other than mario-- but they made it seem SO COOL that i decided to give it a try.

i'd just made my first Big Purchase with the 3DS (it was 2011, i sold a bunch of my old games to save up for it, regretfully including my DSi) and OoT 3D had come out recently, so i figured that was a good pick. i remember having to convince my mom it was ~appropriate~ (she thought anything that involved magic was satanic ofc) before i bought it, but i got there eventually.

as far as i can remember, this was my first big media-based special interest. i went in DEEP, it was all i wanted to talk about, and looking back at a letter i wrote to myself then i'm like. how did no one pick up on the autism

i wasn't active in the zelda fandom in the same ways i do fandom nowadays, but i was decently active on the zelda dungeon forums. i remember sharing a poem or two, discussing theories, things like that. i posted the beginnings of an OC fic on quotev at one point that never went anywhere, but that was technically my first fanfic fjdskfjd

i remember through zelda dungeon i found peanutbuttergamer, who i still watch to this day. he opened the gates to a bunch of other youtubers i still keep up with too! and honestly zelda in general was the Gateway to my fandoms, i eventually got into anime and homestuck and it was all downhill from there (i say with so much love)

i still love zelda, though i'm not too involved in the transformative fandom side of things-- although after making a friend who's also very into it (hi @rosemirmir) i've been appreciating it more and seeing a bunch of stuff i wouldn't have otherwise. don't know if i'd be interested in writing fic for it, but it's nice to appreciate from the sidelines! 💕

these days, i'm not really in contact with the people who originally got me into zelda. but a few years back i did get to thank one of them for creating such a formative experience for me, and tell them i wouldn't be the person i was today without their zelda rambles 😄

my favorite zelda game is twilight princess, though after finishing link's awakening i think that's up there too. i'm currently playing through every game in order and it is a long journey, but i'm excited to see the rest of all the games i've barely scratched the surface of!

@thepromptfoundry

[stereax]

hi, i'm stereax! an intro

Check out the Discord!

I'm Stereax, you can call me whatever you want though really. Any pronouns. New Jersey native, half Polish half American, studying International Relations in Geneva, Switzerland, living in Fr*nce because the rent is cheaper... I get around, I guess LOL.

Note: If I'm not following you, it's not because I don't like you, but because I have weird mental blocks and follow exactly 60 people at all times. Don't ask. I see everyone who interacts with me on a regular basis and I love you all <3

I'm primarily a Devils fan (obviously, from NJ so). If you don't know the Devils yet, here's my 23-24 primer! (And here's their 2023 playoff run primer!) Oh, also here's the Kingdom series of poetry I wrote about the Devils and set to pictures :)

I follow quite a few other teams with varying degrees of care - not going to list who I like and who I don't, but if you name an NHL team chances are I can talk about them. Yes, even the Rangers.

I'm also fairly decent at talking puck on the more technical side of things (cap stuff, trades, team compositions, discourse, etcetera etcetera) - a lot of my asks revolve around this and I enjoy taking the time out to parse these things out for those who may be confused about them!

My inbox is ALWAYS OPEN. Send me whatever you want. Questions about hockey, the Devils or any other team, my life, comments, posts, fics, WHATEVER. I'm not kidding, please talk to me, I love answering asks, getting recommendations, or whatever else have you. Hell, drop into my DMs if you want! (Also, if you need a beta reader, I have a red pen that's waiting to be uncapped :D although I tend to go ham with grammar stuff...)

I have a super secret (not really secret at ALL) side blog that is way more famous than I am on hockeyblr. I'm pretty sure all of my closest mutuals have figured it out but I'll pretend they haven't LOL. There's also @devils-pirate-crew which is a half-askblog half-fanfic thing that I'm updating every other day to motivate myself to write on a regular basis and is currently on hiatus...

I have a weird tagging system where I double-tag most Devils players: once is for the actual name of the player, the other is a "funny" tag that I just like to use. I'll probably compile a list of those and put it here at some point.

Some important self tags you should know, though:

My most used tag is #beat reporter stereax which is frantic reposting of Twitter things (and sometimes other things) that are hockey news. If you're not interested in that, block that tag now, because I tend to post a LOT of news under it. Also see #off the beat for NHL news that isn't really NHL news but is too funny not to share.

#stereanswers is my general answer tag, all answers and stuff go in there. #stereanalysis and #stereducation are generally for longer-form talks about hockey on the technical side, with the former being for most/all technical hockey considerations (whether shorter or longer) while the latter is generally for longer but hopefully quite informative posts. #sterechats :) is non-directly-hockey related posting (although I tend to try to keep that to a minimum).

There are also #sterepoetry for hockey-related poems I write and #stereax plays a tag game which I think is self-explanatory.

But yeah, I think that's about it! If you have any questions... there's a big red button that reads "wanna talk hockey?" up there to put them in :D

[69fever]

hihihi! i know i am talking to no one rn but i LOVE to act like im an online celeb on this app so i will continue <333 (i would die if anyone i knew irl found this account)

a-levels has been kicking my ass and i am most likely dropping out at the end of this year😅 it has been so bad for my mental health and i am not willing to take the hit carrying on and doing next year. if i feel this awful this year then imagine next year, ygm? i simply don't want to do that

sucks though, because i do enjoy my subjects to an extent. philosophy is so difficult and really boring and my english lit teacher/class is annoying and the studies we're doing are boring😭 i love sociology though

but because of all of this, plus stuff going on in my personal life specifically with my boyfriend (who is the subject of the last two poems i've written), i feel like my creative juices have taken a hit. to be honest, i feel like i could've written the most moving and heart-wrenching poem(s) like 1/2 weeks ago but i was honestly so angry and distraught that i couldn't😭 the idea didn't even come to me which i'm pissed about now because i could've created true genius... well at least like some pretty decent stuff

the one piece i did write was a love letter to my boyfriend. i wanted to show him that i cared about him in a meaningful way, rather than just saying it. so what better way than to write a 7 page love letter? i most likely will post it, i knowwwww no one or not a lot of people will see it but i just want to post it because i want to??? idk😭 perhaps it will reach someone, and who doesn't love to read a love letter? maybe that's just me, a lover girl at heart

it will probably appear shorter than how i let on because i'm going to remove some bits from it, to keep it anonymous. in the letter i included important and relevant dates in our relationship, so that's something i will leave out. additionally, i wrote him 100 things i love about him and will also be leaving that out

so yeah, i will be posting that after this. if anyone is reading this then i hope you enjoy it ^u^

that's pretty much it but i kinda want to be a bit more dedicated to this account because i really like writing poems and romantic shit and sporadic and random fan fictions now and again😭 i started writing one about doing mdma with eren yeager but never finished it ahahahaha, maybe i'll pick that back up (100% will finish it if anyone shows interest, pls read my ymir fan fic for credentials)

okay, bye! :)

(i'm still adding tags btw teehee)

[cacodaemonia]

For the writing asks, numbers 8 and 22 please?

(I think I picked two you haven't already answered??)

Hi! :D I already did 8 here, but it was in my queue to it probably posted after you sent this ask XD

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

I haven't really experimented when it comes to style or genre, so I'm not too sure about those. Plus, I don't know enough about fiction writing to even have a clue what different styles might be called. I am pretty certain, though, that I would not write poetry because I wrote one [1] decent poem many years ago and otherwise suck at it, haha XD And I definitely wouldn't write 1st or 2nd person pov, either.

As for tropes, there are a whole bunch that involve squicks of mine, so I have zero interest in writing them—things like pregnancy/baby fics, arranged marriage, a/b/o, characters being possessive (is that a trope?), some kinks I just don't like, etc. I don't think I'd ever write modern/coffee shop/bakery/flower shop type AUs, either, since those settings are often so far removed from whatever canon I'm into, and I'd have trouble imagining the characters still being themselves with such wildly different backgrounds. I'm sure there are more but I can't think of any specifics right now.

Thanks!!

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

Omg I'm dying laughing rn though I'm really trying hard to stop. I'm rewatching certain Jenny scenes in 3x11 for writing purposes and what do I see?

Not only is Jenny more affectionate while Beau is giving her a hug like Poppernak just did but when Beau gets the call about Avery, he looks to Cassie first then Jenny, telling them an officer spotted him. Jenny tells him "Go", he nods then looks to Cassie who tells him "Yeah, we got this." THEN he leaves.

As he's leaving, he bumps into Poppernak literally and then he passes right by Jenny who moves out of his way but puts a hand on his shoulder, and tells him to call her later. He says yeah, never stopping to look at her, and walks out the door.

THEN when Jenny says she knows where they can start looking for the people who took Gigi, there is a shot of Cassie getting up and throwing a pen into a coffee cup.

Remind you of anything?

This episode is all about parallels while bringing back some good ol' Cassie and Jenny working together goodness (which is why it's such a great episode for writing fuel), it allows Katheryn to shine as well as Jensen in their performances among some of the other cast members, it allows Cassie back into the lead she's supposed to be for once, we get back to the roots a bit of what is really the heart of this show (the 2 ladies), and gives us more of a closer look into Beau's story as well.

So while Beau deals with Avery who is trying to steal 15 million that has put his daughter and her mother in danger, Jenny is dealing with the fallout of Gigi grifting the wrong people that she stole 30K from Jenny to try to fix that now has mother and daughter in danger. Parallels.

This episode has such potential and I actually would argue is one of the more decent ones we've seen all season. Maybe that's due to Ryan's involvement in writing the episode, I'm not sure, but it's fantastic all around.

But here's what cracks me up when I think just how badly they fudged this season up and how hard the actors had to work to try to offset some of these bad story decisions. Why the parallel between Beau and Cassie?

Would Cassie have become the new sheriff had the series continued and Beau actually stayed in character, following Carla and Emily back to Houston? Not likely, given Cassie has staunchly refused to go back into policing and still has her PI business. Not to mention that would be a huge disservice to her character as well as Jenny's.

Is it a romantic parallel? Nope. The show runner made it pretty clear that Beau supposedly only sees Jenny in that light.

To set up a romantic parallel between Beau and Jenny? While I wouldn't put it past them to actually do that and think they accomplished something there, that doesn't seem to be what's happening here either, especially since Jenny is not the one tossing the pen and given Beau's pilot mode responses to her physical contact.

So why the parallel? Why have Cassie sitting like Beau was, throwing the pen into a coffee mug as they got up? When Jenny and Poppernak were present in both scenes, with Jenny knowing where to go and leading the way? With a phone call happening to Beau both times?

Well, let's look at who wrote this episode: Ryan and Christine Roum. And let's look at the title of the episode "Super Foxes". Jenny leads Cassie to see Tanya and Donno in the next scene where Jenny has to ask beg for Tonya's help to find her mom, none of her disgust for Tonya present. Tonya eventually agrees to help.

Now let's go back to 3x02. Who wrote that episode? Kyle Long and Christine Roum. What's the title? "The Woods Are Lovely, Dark and Deep" Not a parallel to foxes at all, in fact it's a line from a popular Robert Frost poem.

But in this episode what do we have? Beau is trying a sandwich from Tonya and Donno's diner The Blue Fox when Beau calls Jenny over to try it. She flat out refuses (we saw the previous episode how much she can't stand that Tonya isn't in jail) and goes on a rant with Tonya appearing behind her. Beau dashes off to help Cassie while telling Jenny to help Tonya. Jenny begrudgingly does while taking Poppernak with her. This case leads to the pen scene later on, where they're leaving to head to Tonya's house to save Paul.

This is the parallel. They literally did this to not only set up the Jenny and Tonya scene after to show Jenny's change but also to call back to 3x02. The pen parallel was the best they could do rather than pour everything they had into the Jenny and Tonya scene (which Katheryn and Jamie-Lynn were the ones to make it work btw) to wrap it up and make it more meaningful for Jenny's character which was at the forefront of this episode. They used Cassie again in order to focus on Jenny, sidelining how important Cassie actually is to the story itself. (Let's not forget y'all, she's the main character from the books this show is based on)

And then they did it to her again with Beau in the same damn scene! Even in an episode that's not about the AA-led campaign for Beau/Jenny kiss kiss tag team for once (though they still keep it in your face in their separate stories by the whole Emily and Carla scenes). Beau looks to Cassie again before Jenny like he had in 3x02 and 3x01 because he "still isn't ready to let Jenny in yet". So they literally use Cassie yet again to further someone else's story, one who isn't even one of the main characters. (Listen, I love Beau but that's the cold hard truth, it's not a slight against the character or Jensen)

And they even continuously used Poppernak for the Beau and Jenny push as well. Granted, he's not a main character but he has become a pillar in Jenny's world so to speak. Plus, the way J. Anthony Pena played him, there was SO much potential there with his character.

Literally both POC characters were pushed aside for the White characters to set up a romance that they didn't even commit to in the end (that ending scene is not romantic, sorry not sorry - Beau still can't look at her or tell her what happened in Houston without imbibing more alcohol, she settled for handhold). Just cold hard facts. And again, crappy writing.

THIS is why this show failed. Because of ridiculous story decisions like this. No wonder the cast had to work so hard to try to make things make sense when it came to marrying their performances with the writing. Because when you strip this down and look at the whole thing, what on earth do you see? A gift of a great story (from the books) and a David E. Kelly production that put an exciting twist on the whole thing was given to Elwood Reid and his writers and they completely ruined it. They literally took it and smashed it into pieces in a trash compactor then presented it to us and were like "See this masterpiece I made?"

I won't lie, I'm a huge Katheryn Winnick fan and to me it was sad to read an interview she gave back when she was first on the show, doing press. She was supposed to take a sabbatical after Vikings but got this offer, saw it was a David E. Kelly production, and knew she couldn't pass it up. So she went in full steam ahead. Anyone who has read/heard Katheryn talk knows how incredibly creative she is, knows she puts her heart and soul into the stories she tells. Not to mention Jenny Hoyt was a great character they created and it was the perfect marriage between Jenny and Katheryn on the screen. Whatever David's reasons for stepping away after season 1, Elwood was clearly the wrong choice to take over and lead this team of writers. They made some good decisions here and there like Beau and his storyline, Reba's casting, the Cassie and Jenny moments that were the heart of season 2, etc, but they really took the polished gem of potential David gave them and collectively ran over it with their cars.

I love the story of the books and I love the overall story of the show between the two women (what a smart twist to switch Cody for Jenny, to flesh out Jenny's character more, and split it down the middle between Cassie and Jenny in the storyline - that's David E. Kelly for you). This show had so much potential had they changed up either the showrunner or some of the writers or even both, but sadly they chose to do...that.

And examples like this one are proof in the pudding of how badly they missed the mark. If only they had done things differently perhaps we would have a season that pulled together better and actually made sense for all characters involved, rather than showing the desperation to stay on the air and sucking up to a section of one actor's internet fan base. We still might not have gotten a season 4 due to what's happening in Hollywood right now, but the characters would have been in a much better position by the end of the season in their storylines, then the equivalent of an apathetic wrap job in old newspaper with Scotch tape to "close things up".

So sad.

Eli Jorne and his writers told a better story in 6 episodes than Elwood and his writers did in 2 seasons (31 episodes). And Elwood was handed the world from David E. Kelly. Eli was given access to the TWD universe but had to completely create his own corner of it.

Sad.

[evilwickedme]

I have a question!!! I really like your fics so I wanted to ask how you find the time/motivation to write your fics? I’m still in the thought process of planning the plot of my very first one and it feels so daunting. Is there any specific process or method you do when you write? Sometimes I get around to writing and I only get a few hundred words in before I’m exhausted. I’d love your advice :)

Hey thank you for asking this and for enjoying my writing!

I'd love it if there were any easy answer to this question, but the truth is the answer is simple and really fucking hard: to write a lot, you just have to write. Sometimes it's going to be easy, other times it's going to be hard. Sometimes I start writing and I blink and suddenly there's two thousand words on the page, other times I sit and stare at my screen for hours and all I've written is two sentences. And I'm not the first one to say this by any means, but the secret is - it's all writing. All of it is writing, even when you end up not writing anything.

Here's the thing though, is that I decided I wanted to be a writer when I was seven years old. I've kept a journal off an on for almost two decades. I wrote poetry for elementary school assignments and I had a blog for my writing in middle school and I wrote short stories for high school projects and I started writing fic when I was 14 and I published my poetry book last year at the age of 24 and it was all just writing and writing and writing. I went through dry spells when I was depressed that last months or even years and I've had periods where I was writing so much it's a wonder I kept up with it. And then I got a degree in screenwriting, where I HAD to write because such and such amount of pages were due by such and such a date, and the industry doesn't care if you're in a rut and neither did my professors.

Nowadays, writing is basically a habit. I have so many poems in my phone notes, because I'll have a thought on the go and suddenly there's a poem - so many phone poems ended up in my book, fyi, some of them barely edited. I can force myself to write something halfway decent just by sitting myself down in front of a Word doc, because I have the neural pathways set up that way from, oh, 18 years of writing. So a lot of my methods regarding writing involve just being like, okay, today I'm going to write something.

For example, I just published the final chapter of the mental health fic in my DC series, which is for now probably going to be the final work in that series (I have a couple more ideas, but they're shelved right now). That final chapter was sitting in my Google drive with about two sentences written in it for weeks, and it was weighing on me. I haven't been feeling very creative recently - I'm fully aware I'm in burnout - but I hate the feeling of being uncreative, so I said to myself, okay, let's fucking finish this. It took a couple of tries - first try I ended up only writing a paragraph describing what everyone was wearing and that's it - but eventually, just the act of me being in front of my laptop rather than facing a tv or buried in my phone made it so I finished it.

There's a story I heard when I was a kid that I can't find right now that basically informed my entire life philosophy, which was this kid went to a baseball game and met his favorite player who agreed to sign a ball for him, but nobody had a pen. Not him, not his parents, not the player, nobody that passed them by in the stadium, none of them had pens. Devastated, he started carrying a pen around with him everywhere. The final quote goes something like, "and if you carry a pen with you everywhere, eventually you start using it." And then he started writing.

To put it another way. In January, I only read two books. And the thing is, like, I genuinely really like reading. Like it's one of my favorite things in the whole wide world. And I asked myself, why didn't I read in January. And again, I know I'm in burnout, I know that's why I watched all that mediocre TV. But I didn't enjoy it? Like at all? So I looked at all that time I spent watching criminal minds and on TikTok and Tumblr and in February I made a concerted effort to read. When I sat down in my living room I asked myself what I was planning to do with my free time, and I realized often the "plan" was just to scroll through TikTok for six hours. So I listened to a five hour audiobook instead. Or read a 300 page book. Or finished a manga I was in the middle of. Or... And I read nine books in February! Which is not a lot for some people, I know, but what an improvement on January!

My point is, if you want to be doing something and you're not doing it, ask yourself why you're not doing it. I found that the time I was spending not-reading and not-writing wasn't getting used up by cooking or cleaning or going to work or meeting up with friends. It wasn't even being spent on something relaxing that I enjoy, like watching a comfort show. In November when I wrote the vast majority of hang on 'til the chaos is through I simply did not spend as much time on Tumblr or on TikTok cause I was writing instead. After I was finished with that, however, I pivoted so hard in the other direction that I didn't do anything I enjoyed at all in an effort to relax. That's honestly not even that relaxing.

So like, here's the thing. When it comes to my "method" of writing it varies so much that it's actually not worth listing out. With hang on the whole fucking thing was outlined in detail. With Of Three Times Lily Evans Changed Her Mind About James Potter I had the endgame in mind and a couple scenes written in advance, but the whole thing got written over 4.5 years and I was improv-ing basically the entire time. With I'm a mess (but I'm the mess that you wanted) I was texting @random-fandork in the middle of the night like, what if next chapter I did this, and they responded with ooh what if you did this, and it got written so fucking fast because we were constantly exchanging ideas. With the timkon jealousy au I just know I want Kon to be jealous of timber, and that's legit all I know, I'm absolutely pantsing it.

Sometimes I write with music. I have character playlists I usually listen to just like any other playlists, but also get used to write sometimes, but I only made my first character playlist around a year ago and I've obviously been writing fic for way more than that. Sometimes music helps get in the mood or helps distract from outside noises, and sometimes it distracts you from finding the right words. I usually write in bed, but I usually do everything in bed because I have chronic back pain. I usually write at home, but I also write in my phone on the go.

But I think you get it, right? Like there is no method. I certainly don't have one. Terry Pratchett famously wrote 300 words every day. I don't know what Erin Morgenstern is doing while working on book three, but I promise you it's not 300 words a day because it was six years between The Night Circus and The Starless Sea and it's been four more years and we still haven't gotten our spring or summer book. Every person finds they work best in different environments - I've tried to write in coffee shops and libraries, it's just close to impossible for me, but for others it's the only way to get motivated. But the point is the stories don't write themselves. Everyone loses steam, everyone gets in a rut, everyone writes bad things that they don't like and scraps them or edits them so thoroughly that they become unrecognizable. But things only get written because you write them, and they'll only get done if you keep at it.

My assumption is that you enjoy telling stories. Yeah, writing is hard, sticking to something is hard, finding motivation to write when you're tired or depressed is hard. But if you don't write, it's not going to get written. So I just try to remember that I enjoy storytelling. That I would be having more fun working on my teacher!peter/dadpool au than watching criminal minds (seriously, I'm not going to finish this show, 2.5 seasons was more than enough; sorry to keep shitting on it but I spent much of January watching it and honestly I've never considered watching a show a waste of time but this was an absolute waste of time).

I also want to reiterate that it's okay if you sit down to write and all you write is a couple hundred words! It's okay if you only wrote two! The turtle wins the race after all - you just gotta keep at it. Just remembere that if you write ten words enough times, you end up with a whole ass book.

[iinexorabile]

there's a decent slight possibility you may not like jia, you may in fact hate him, but you'll never hate him more than che.n q.un.

qun was a famous scholar who served under c.ao cao alongside jia, who was renowned for creating and instituting the nine-rank system, a system that fully reorganized and overhauled the nomination of officials for public office. this system was so efficient that it went on to be used for hundreds of years, and inspired other similar systems that were used after the s.ong dyn.asty--

really impressive stuff, the man definitely deserves props for that and many other things, but what was even more impressive was how much of a stick in the mud they were, and how salty they could be.

you see my friends, qun stubbornly made it their mission to try and enforce proper behavior in other officials who served alongside them, and this naturally made them the ire of many people, not just jia.

jia, however, embodied everything that qun hated to see in a member of society, let alone fellow members of the government and military, and so they eventually became his number one hater detractor.

qun was constantly rebuking jia during meetings or out in public when they came across each other, he was always complaining about them to ca.o cao, and he even tried to have them arrested on numerous occasions for what they saw as excessively poor conduct.

qun even wrote a handful of speeches, and poems that criticized jia and their behaviors, and you can bet he read these to jia's face, sometimes at meetings, or court.

it didn't help that jia would often flirt with qun and try to woo them regularly-- actions they, understandably, abhorred.

to qun's credit, they weren't entirely wrong about jia's behavior-- he definitely could have cut back on the drinking and other substance abuse, been more respectful to his superiors or fellow officers, cut back on the sleeping around, and all around acted more serious about his position and duties.... but this guy wouldn't have changed his opinion on jia if he became a saint overnight. like i said, they were an absolute stick. in. the. mud. if someone so much as breathed in a way they perceived as improper, qun was on them.

despite all of this though, jia, perhaps infuriatingly to qun, never took them very seriously, and neither did ca.o cao, at least when it came to all of the complaining they did.

if anything jia was impressed with qun, impressed that someone practically made it their life's work to lambaste him any chance they got-- not even some of jia's actual enemies, people who wanted him dead, were that dedicated to hating him!!! the man was truly a legend.