#y'all why am i like this

[plethomacademia]

Had a lunch fit due to this picture of Enver pouring wine on himself. Maevetash, M rating for blood and a sideways reference to sex, 681 words, Gort provokes Maeve by pouring wine on his chest when she is in Blood Weirdo mode

Maeve puts her fingers to Enver Gortash’s chest, just above his heart, and begins to trace. She cannot say whether or not her movement is accurate, whether she is faithfully following the flow of the blood being pumped out from his heart, heavy with oxygen fresh from his lungs. Once her fingertips touch his open collar, she goes back to try again.

She hears the slurp of him taking another drink, and then the wet sounds of his mouth as the liquid is sent down his esophagus. She looks to the middle of his chest, imagining the red wine going underneath the path of his red blood.

“You are distracted,” he says and she feels his words in her hands.

“Distracted from what?” she says, looking up to see him watching her. “We aren’t doing anything.”

It is half true. They are at rest after a hearty meal and a hearty debate over whether a historical coup had been a success or a failure. Maeve had argued the former (the coup had in fact succeeded), Enver had argued the latter (the government formed in its aftermath had quickly collapsed). They have settled on the couch of his study and she has allowed him to put his arm around her. Finally, she has relaxed into it and now they they are in the in-between space: the time period after the excuse for their coming together and before the battle to convince her to stay for just a little while longer.

“You would like to though, I think,” he says.

“You like to think that you that know what I would like, I think,” she replies.

He moves his glass back to his lips. “Mm,” he hums as he takes a sip.

Maeve looks back to her hand, paused above his right pectoral and the lovely layer of fat that his fine life has put over it. She moves it back to his heart.

Suddenly, her vision is filled with red.

She feels herself freeze and she anticipates copper, she anticipates iron, she anticipates a thick trail of sticky clinging red that drips fast and then slow as it grabs onto itself, trying to stop itself from pouring, the kind that could coat a tongue, maybe a throat if you are greedy.

Instead, there is a splash, followed by the smell of oak and grapes, a red burst that dissipates into a thin film in between the hair on his chest and belly. She looks to his face again and finds him smiling, his wine glass held nearly horizontally, just high enough to keep him from spilling even more of the drink onto himself.

“What are you doing?!” she says and she hates how it sounds coming out.

“Testing a theory,” he says. He smiles at her and she knows he heard it, the surprise and worse, the betrayal when the red liquid was not the one that she wanted.

“Perhaps I will test my own theories, Lord Gortash.” She pushes herself to sitting, then slings a leg over his lap. This lets her put both hands on his chest and she digs in her thumbs, presses them both into his sternum. She does not let up until his skin is white from the pressure, then hooks each finger, as if she might decide at any time to open his chest like a clam.

“Oh come now, you have long decided that I am best kept alive. But,” he says, making sure that she is listening before he continues, “if you desire to carve me up, I am always amenable to seeing you exercise your lovely control, Slayer.”

She feels him already hardening underneath her bottom and she pushes down hard, enough to earn her a wince. “You are a reckless fool, Enver Gortash.” She lets herself extend a single nail, a piece of her father’s power, just enough to fill the white divot underneath of her thumbs with red, proper red, thick and pooling. She breathes in the scent of him. “One day, I won’t bother to bring you back from it.”

[rageandtrash]

Me: I really need to go to bed, I've got shit I need to do in the morning Also me: *Starts reading a 150,000 word multi-chapter fanfic at 3am*

[kuromi-hoemie]

ngl it does really annoy me when everyone accepts “ace people don't have sex” as the baseline assumption instead of ace people just not experiencing sexual attraction.

you can still have sex but be driven by different reasons, like to me it is a kind of affection and way to hang out with people that is influenced by the relationship we have with each other. i can think people are pretty to look at with or without their clothes without sexual attraction in the mix.

when i see something full of ppl assuming ace people don't have sex i always want to jump on it and be annoying like MEEEE I'M ACE PEOPLE WHO HAS SEX, WE EXIST WE EXIST STOP ASSUMING WE DON'T THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO STRAIGHT UP WILL NOT DATE OR BE INTERESTED IN ACE PEOPLE BECAUSE OF THIS MISCONCEPTION AND WE E X I S T.

stop!!!! assuming ace people do not have sex!!!!!!!! if you don't know then ask if it's appropriate!!!!!!!!!!! stop thinking about it in a binary you either do or don't have sex kind of way!!!!!! this is fundamentally off!!!!!!!!!!!! if you are ace you do not have sexual ATTRACTION!!!!!!!!!!!

as to how we feel about and handle sex, that varies person to person but sex favorable aces are a lot more common than you'd think. hell, figuring out I'm ace was the hardest thing to figure out about myself because all i ever saw people talk about was whether you have sex or not. I'm sure there's a lot more people who haven't figured it out for this same reason, and let me tell you it's hard to know you're missing a whole ass type of attraction when you've never experienced it before and didn't know it was missing to begin with!!

ace is not synonymous with sexless. aces who don't have sex don't speak for me, and y'all gotta stop letting them be the only face of the community. there are More Of Us, it is All Of Us.

accepting that baseline at face value leaves you uninformed and it's frustrating to see this over and over again. challenge yourself to do better and try understanding ace people more.

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[ariaste]

swear to god if I read another motherfucking fic where these vampires pause to get the lube I am going to have a fucking mental breakdown and chew holes in the walls. i have had it up to here. this is an intervention. this is a come-to-jesus moment. what are you doing. are you thinking about your choices. why are you making them have sex like they're humans instead of weird fucked-up vampire sex. look into my eyes. can you please consider your worldbuilding choices and make ones that are less excruciatingly boring. look at me. you're being the softest beigest pillow if you make them use human lube. i'm serious. i will die on this hill.

fight me in the comments if you disagree or you feel huffy about this, i don't care. come at me, bro, i own the night.

[journey-before-destinationn]

my brain 24/7: *joins 13 fandoms* *creates 57 fake scenarios* *zones out mid-sentence* *randomly remembers that thing I was supposed to do 2 weeks ago* *flashback to that embarrassing moment in 2nd grade*

[harmonysanreads]

The "darling being able to see Sunday's high-Fe social mask and avoids it" is so funny.

Because Sunday probably ends up thinking that you will be someone who he doesn't have to pretend around, he can be more free around you because you can see through him. I can even see the attraction being platonic at first before turning into something darker.

But because you can see through him, you know that there's something dangerous about him under that ethereal, beautiful appearance. There's no way you're getting yourself involved with that. Sunday simply wants someone he can be real around :')

But you keep on running away from him :')

-💅

[ministarfruit]

straya outfit swap

[thenonbinarydetective]

Things batfam stans need to leave behind in 2023:

Jason's Lazarus pit rage

Thinking Tim's parents were horribly abusive and hated him

Only caring about Stephanie in terms of her relationship to another person (ex: Tim's bestie/ex/gf or Cass' gf/bestie)

Treating Jason or Stephanie like they're stupid

Feral Demon Child Damian

Permanent sunshine boy Dick Grayson

Any "[blank] was the real violent Robin" discourse

Really just any reducing or sectioning of certain traits to certain batfam members and not allowing other characters to exhibit those same traits (ex: see sunshine Dick Grayson)

But also stealing traits from other characters and projecting them onto someone else (ex: Jason getting Dick's personality in fics. He is not the same type of big brother Dick is canonically)

Purposefully mischaracterizing characters for angst (ex: Dick sent Tim to Arkham, my beloathed. also again see Tim's parents)

Trying really hard to nuclearize the family. They are an unconventional family for many reasons, and that's why they're interesting.

"Alfred solos the batfam"

Making Duke "the normal one" and completely forgetting to give him an actual personality.

Cass using sign language because she can read body language (note: does not apply to YJ Cass who has damaged vocal chords)

Cass being used as a prop for her brothers

Tim being weak, woobified baby

Feel free to add on ~~

Don't send hate over these things because idgaf, they are harmful mischaracterizations, and many are built on total ignorance and often racism, classism, ableism, and sexism.

[moongothic]

Madoka is the promise you won't turn from a child, full of hopes and dreams and the wish to save the world, into a bitter adult who just wants to hurt others and ruin people's lives

Madoka promised to be there for you to remind you of the person you wanted to be and to stop you from becoming what you sought to destroy

Madoka made that promise and became the very embodiment of it

[cozylittleartblog]

me speeding to count stock as fast as possible to avoid taking radiation damage from my parents god-awful taste in television

are these Really the ugliest homes in america or is your personality just equivalent to a cheap, wet paper towel. are these Really the ugliest homes in america or do you take your home decor inspiration from psychiatric hospitals and white women on pinterest named Meykaighlahe

just say you hate art and go build your dream unseasoned microwave mashed potato of a house in fucking utah or something oh my gOD

[lazylittledragon]

thoughts on chilshi?

i love old man yaoi

[inkskinned]

you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

[imthursdaysyme]

While I love Steve having a kid that's a nerd, my favorite is if his kid is just like him. He's popular even at 7, he's extroverted, funny, and charming albeit a little strange. He loves sports and struggles in math and doesn't really get english and gets scolded when he laughs in history—sue him he thought it was funny—and has a tendency to get detention but also is somehow a teachers pet all at once.

He has a tendency for feminine things, makes it his own with earrings and the occasional pink flower print shirt.

He begs steve to not work on the car until he gets home from school, cause even at 5, he would rather climb over the fence and run home by himself then learn his dad worked on the cool car without him.

He loves driving and cooking and dancing and loves swimming—aunt Robbie calls him a variety of aquatic animals instead of his name; minnow, fish, stingray, tigershark. Anything went.

They look alike and act alike to the point robin laughs and claims Steve just cloned himself, Eddie says that the kid is actually just Steve brought to the future through time travel. Steve laughs, he loves it ofc but he's never pushed or forced it, it just happened that way.

But there's also times, where Steve sees his son, so like him with big tears in his eyes trying to be tough. Or when all he wants is to sleep in the bed with Steve when he has a nightmare, wants his dad to kiss everything better, when he so easily seeks affection or struggles with school to the point he's getting stress migraines at 9, sees him try so hard to do his best and do what he does well. Sees him fail.

And when Steve sees this, he wonders if maybe he wasn't a bad kid. Didn't need to be tougher, manlier, smarter—better—to deserve love.

Just. Like. Steve seeing that he didn't need to be anything other than what he was. That he has no idea how his parents didn't love him bc how could he ever not love his kid? Just like its okay for him to be how he is and have a kid that a like him as well bc he's pretty great

And like. Its just that idea that Steve could only “heal his inner child” with a kid that's different then him or a girl is kind of sad that it's only that what if him and his son go to every game and constantly have grease on them what then.

[analogboii]

so today someone drove by yelling "law sucks!" and i had completely forgotten I had law's jolly roger as a sticker on my car and thought they were saying like, the law sucks and i just "yeah! fuck the government!" why am i like this

[cosmicrhetoric]

zoro and kiku's whole thing was so fun and endearing :) like never underestimate the besties potential of a Hater and a 12 ft tall swordswoman that he keeps bullying into breaking her cover. but when he saw her severed arm flop down 100 feet from the roof in onigashima and just went fuuuuuuuuck. kiku. can someone toss me up there i think my girl just got maimed