#yeah im just being dumb

[melishade]

Don't worry about the progress you are doing fine. I've been following this fanfic for years and now it is the only one I am keeping track of. I've read this shit for like a hundred times from the start to the finish now and I still enjoy it. You'll get it right. Also 🌻

And I appreciate that a lot. I do. A lot of the people who commonly like and comment on my work like you, @justawannabearchaeologist, @lazymooneye @fandoms-uniteds-blog, @fandomchick80 and more Ao3 commenters like Samuel Y.S. Loe, and Haris. People who made fanart for my work that I put so much time in, like @honey-on-bread. You take time out of your day to just leave a simple like and comment talking about my work, and yeah, some of you guys have been following me for years. It's something I deeply appreciate.

...It's just....I work really hard writing these chapters. I put so much time and so much effort into this crossover that I do enjoy writing. Even if it is a lot of work at times.

The Hizuru OVA took me so long to write, and I had to do so much research in order to create a situation as to what Hizuru would look like during this time period. I had to look up the layout of Japan in 1920s and 1930s. I had to look up the appearance of rulers to make my own OCs to interact with Mikasa. I looked up toys, games, foods, traditions, fighting styles, music, for this specific chapter alone. It sits at 31,301 words, and I'm still adding to it. I'm putting a lot of time and effort into some of the chapters I've written in the past. And when I post it, hoping for some validation, some comments, even a simple 'cool chapter', sometimes I don't get that. I don't get the flood of comments that I used to which is understandable because I don't have that same large audience that I used to have on fanfiction.net. I'm reworking to get the following that I had when I was on that website and that took years to accumulate.

Some of the things that do make me mad though is when people demand stuff out of me. Like "please add this" or "are you going add this character to the story" or "you should really write this" or "I think this would be great" and they'll say it repeatedly even though I've set up ground rules for this. (This is happening more on Ao3, not here anymore. Surprisingly you guys are actually listening to the rules here.) I put so much time and effort trying to craft a story that I like, and some people are demanding that I change a story to their liking even though I've stated repeatedly "I have my story planned out. I have my ending planned out. I'm not changing anything to your whim. I know what I want."

It's dejecting sometimes, and I'm particularly worried that when I do post the Hizuru chapter on March 19th, it's not going to get the recognition and praise that I'm hoping for. And people will just use the opportunity to beg me to write something for them when they are more than capable of doing it themselves. I want to talk about my thought process, my writing process. I want people to see what I see, or come up with a wild theory that I could laugh about, think is good, or even say "damn alright. you get a cookie. good work."

I don't know. Maybe I'm just being childish. I don't like to spoil my work because I want it to be a good experience for those who want to be surprised, and this is the internet. I shouldn't expect more from internet.

[in-a-mountain-pool]

Hi everyone, my name is Emily, and I am SO over the head!canon that Michael Gavey likes bimbofication, and I think it's a bit anti feminist, and weirdly not in character. But hey ho, everyone is allowed an opinion, I'm just feeling a bit icky about it today and I'm looking for reassurance that it's not only me~

[keirientez]

band au rahhhhhhhhhhh

[dellinah]

I am heartbroken and frothing at the mouth that I have yet to see anyone on Tumblr mentioning the YT animation Bun hunting: overture

You'd think a furry animation inspired by 30-60's cartoons with a lot of fanservice would be popular here (for one reason or another)

It's barely 3 minutes long but I'm IN LOVE

with the animation style. Yeah

I wish I was in the mindspace to talk more about it bc this animation made me happier than I can say rn and it deserved a ramble but anyway

There's just something about seeing the old (obviously(?) Song of the south-inspired) Disney 2D animated style done SO WELL in this era that made me really happy and even so short it seems so cute and promising and all of it is SO WELL DONE

I would give anything for this to be longer but I'm so happy with what we got. I hope Piti Yindee and the team get to do more with it eventually

[nailgunstigmata]

i couldnt fall asleep and spent the last few hours watching tiktoks of people pretending to be wolves so i probably cant articulate this well rn but i think theres something deeply sad about how much of not just fandom but life in general is done with ironic detachment nowadays. a kind of plausible deniability of feeling anything at all. and i catch myself doing this too!! its just a lot easier to not be vulnerable and earnest online. baring ur soul in front of anyone is terrifying because ur always giving them the opportunity to hurt u when u do it

like even with this post a part of my brain is going ok its not that deep omg but like. maybe it is that deep. maybe the things we do and say and the way we navigate the world matters even in an online space about a sitcom. maybe everything can have meaning and we should be careful of what we are saying and listen to other people and try to be nice to each other because theres already plenty of cruelty in the world

and again i have the internet socialised part of my brain screaming at me that this is cringe and nobody cares but again thats stupid. like thats stupid. nobody is being held at gunpoint to read my dumb rambles and if people mock my words thats their personal failure and not mine. u just have to kinda not listen and be earnest anyways and be comforted by the fact that this mindset of self denial isnt healthy for anyone. u cant be detached and happy those two things are mutually exclusive and irony is a thing that can genuinely poison you. like im speaking from experience i literally have the same kind of brainrot and i think that most people have it, especially gen z since we grew up on the internet and started curating the way people perceive us online way too soon. like yeah theres a point where u only know the self that exists to be perceived and that sucks i think.

mocking others vulnerability is fun and safe but it cant make you happy. the only thing that can is being genuine and open and vulnerable. its scary but its the only way. what im trying to say is that the live laugh love girlies were kinda onto something (minus the christian fundamentalism) and we are gradually spiraling into a world in which nothing is real and everything is a commodity and the only way to save ur soul is to be genuine and earnest with people u love and with the world in general. lets cling to our humanity as capitalism alienates us and keeps us trapped in a perpetual cycle of dissatisfaction so we can consume and be consumed forever and ever while giving just enough to keep the engine pumping. im not saying that actively trying to be earnest is the antidote for capitalism but i do think it helps salvage our humanity. and i do think its the only way to be happy

[storywestistrash]

i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans

[firefl1ezz]

i just. hit s+ rank in splatoon and i never honestly thought this would happen?? am i cool now.. do i get to be a part of the s4? do i get to be watered down to my running joke all the time?

[hella1975]

‘how’s studying going’ i got 2 minutes into a video of a guy explaining a concept before realising he was speaking another language. i took notes

[ganondoodle]

reminder that my totk rants are me just rambling about my thoughts, ideas and complaints, im not trying to analyze anything, be smart, be right, debate or convince anyone who likes it that its bad just bc i think its bad or simply dont like the choices made, im literally just spilling out my brain so it doesnt keep haunting me

if you think something makes sense that i think doesnt i, and forgive me for being so blunt about it, do not care why you think it works, my opinion of this game will not change and i am okay with that

you are free to disagree with anything i say of course but i really dont care why, sorry

(sth i said only in the tags before but added now in this edit bc i think its important: its not bc i dont want to hear other peoples opinions and live in ignorance or something, but bc im tired and i PROMISE you i have seen 99.9% of those arguments already)

im not trying to be mean, aggressive or dismissive, but again, these rants are just me rambling with no intention of arguing with anyone, the only reason im still posting whenever i think of something thats bothering me (even if it might be dumb or be disproven in game bc i am not all-knowing and might be possibly misremembering something), and letting those posts be rebloggable/interactable is bc i have been told by quite a few people that they like reading them or that they feel validated in their own disappointment

thats it.

[mintedwitcher]

People acting as if Tommy never evolved or changed since his first appearance on the show, I'm blocking you on sight :) sorry you don't believe in character growth I guess :)

[dykedivorce]

kind of genius that ouyang and baoxiang's core issue is that they're doing masculinity wrong but in opposite directions so it's impossible for them to develop any kind of solidarity or understanding. a heterosexual but effeminate man with the wrong skills and interests vs. what would be the perfect male warrior if not for the homosexuality and dicklessness. and they fucking hate each other the whole time. isn't that delicious

[newty]

do u ever remember how it felt when they added the internal thoughts to ffxvi and it gave us a final terence update bc i.

[narwhalandchill]

No way they had to actually nerf aventurines story boss fight 😭😭

[notimeforlaugh]

well lgbt in Russia is officially an extremist organization, so if anyone cares suddenly all my friends and I are in a gang or whatever

the law becomes relevant january 10 2024, and then for just wearing a pin with a 6 colored rainbow you could go to jail for 12 years at least

or smt like that

russians keep taking Ls

[laniidae-passerine]

I’m finding that the laziest moments of Doctor Who’s writing are the ‘retroactive twists’ - when the show runner reveals something happened way back over there, in the past, before they were even running the show. And we swear it happened, way over there, far back, and you didn’t see it because of reasons but it’s definitely been happening! And it totally makes sense and I absolutely didn’t just pull it out my ass to justify my paper thin plotline! All this kind of writing does is make me miss self contained season length plots. We’ve had people complaining that Moffat was guilty of the “this thing is big and scary and it’s going to happen, oh god it’s showing up, we’re going to discover what it truly is….. next season!!!!!!” plotline (and yes. he was. twelve is my fav doctor but yeah Moffat loved a mysterious horse and a big stick) but now suddenly when RTD gets out his own mysterious horse and a big stick, it’s got to be genius! everything is eventually going to make sense! and we’re absolutely not being had by a man who used to be able to write this show and is now a hack!

[hella1975]

11pm in manchester airport plane landed at 10pm after being DELAYED AND ANNOYING AND EVERYTHING WRONG WITH RYANAIR for over an hour. when is my train home from this godforsaken city you ask? 5am. good job im stuck in arrivals where there are no coffee shops or even regular charging ports haha. so glad to be spending the next six hours sat by the squeaky baggage claim machine. thank god my mum was sympathetic about it right haha… right????