#yes I do read an absurd amount

[fahye]

book recs: aug-sept '23

THE BAYOU by arden powell -- queer horror novella! this is set in 1930s louisiana and like all good horror it's about horrible unburied secrets haunting you. but also gators and summer flooding and guilt and, uh, letting a hot mysterious man/fae/?other? rail you in a church. superb. no notes.

TELL ME I'M WORTHLESS by alison rumfitt -- MORE QUEER HORROR! TRANS HORROR!! this is a haunted house book but the haunting is modern british fascism and the house is made of TERFs. the writing is fantastic. it's like being trapped in a small room with someone who is screaming loudly and endlessly, but like, in a good way.

THE SECRET COUNTRY by pamela dean -- this is an oldschool portal fantasy that somehow manages to combine excellent diana wynne jones vibes with my most common stress nightmare, ie. the one where you're in the Show but you've been so busy choreographing for the Show that you've forgotten to learn your own lines. baffling. very enjoyable.

KNOCKOUT by sarah maclean -- listen. listen. this series is about a historical vigilante girl gang, and this is the romance between a lady explosives expert and the exasperated policeman she wants very much to bang (heheh. bang.) very miss fisher vibes and also, somehow, very Fuck The Police (...heheh.) I adored it.

AN ISLAND PRINCESS STARTS A SCANDAL by adriana herrera -- a very horny and fun f/f histrom about a venezuelan artist in paris and the duchess she is, again, extremely determined to bang. I love this series of adriana's, with all its glorious historical detail about the various latinx delegations to the grand paris exhibition.

THE SPIDER AND HER DEMONS by sydney khoo -- YA fantasy about a chinese-malaysian australian girl who is also, inconveniently, a spider demon. this has an aro-ace heroine and heaps of very cool and creepy body horror and made me desperate to go back to sydney and eat banh mi in cabramatta. a+.

WHITE CAT, BLACK DOG by kelly link -- so you know how kelly link is an absolute genius master of the short story form? you know how the best fairytale retellings are both chattily straightforward and bonkers weird? YEAH. my god this collection is so good.

[essektheylyss]

I am once again BEGGING folks in the critrole fandom to understand that terms for problematic queer tropes have actual meaning and context.

Queerbaiting cannot exist in the context of "the queer relationship I prefer didn't happen but another one did." Nor does it mean "a queer character doesn't get into a relationship with someone they're implied to be attracted to." It cannot exist because one character you wanted to be queer was not confirmed as such and did not have the chance to explore a relationship the fandom wanted, in spite of a plethora of other queer characters and relationships in the media.

Because queerbaiting means an intended, marketed implication that there would be a central queer relationship that was never actually going to be delivered on, in an effort to attract queer audiences without alienating straight/homophobic ones.

Bury Your Gays cannot exist in the context of "character I ship in a queer relationship died." It cannot exist in the context of "other characters of canonical queer status lived." It cannot exist if the story and setting otherwise strongly and repeatedly refute the idea that any experienced queer happiness must be punished. It cannot exist if the character you're talking about has not been confirmed queer.

Because Bury Your Gays is a term for introducing a queer character into an otherwise straight work (usually in a tokenistic way) and then killing them off without ceremony or purpose—often or, depending on the definition, exclusively just after they have started or consummated a relationship, as it is an implication that queer happiness must be punished as a cosmic rule of the setting.

These tropes virtually cannot be present in a work if they are otherwise refuted by the work itself due to the presence of other queer characters. They suggest a rule of the narrative that queerness is anathema to the narrative and world, and cannot be allowed to exist, which cannot apply if the world and narrative is otherwise very supportive of queerness. In fact, the context of these tropes when they were established implied that this was applicable to the only queer person or relationship in a work, because in the context of their inception, it was nearly unfathomable to have even a semi-mainstream media with numerous queer characters and queerness normalized and expected within the setting.

EXTREMELY specific parameters would have to be met to have either of these tropes in particular present in Exandria at this point, and even then, the question of whether or not it would still apply given the conceit of the setting's relationship to queerness and gender as well as the improvisational format of the medium is something that would take whole dissertations to discuss and come to anything approaching a definitive answer.

[rewindsarchive]

FORGOT I COULD TALK ABOUT WHATEVER I WANTED UM. victory condition is good it made me insane first time i read it, astolats an icon etc etc. also really liked coming home (also by astolat. i have a rather narrow range in terms of fics i think). contact is funny but it makes me SO sad. my love is a fever had me screaming dying on the floor lmaoo truly crack at its peak. suddenly realizing how much tf fic i read. um.

[raggedytiger]

ragatha/agatha and pomni/penny human hcs!

(r)agatha:

is an english teacher!

yes she still loves horses. she used to ride them, & she loves old western movies.

owns cowboy hat and boots.

analytical and loves long & winding conversations.

has a very happy cat named sandwich.

patches her own clothes, doesn't have kids but if she did she would embroider their names into their belongings.

she still plays cello, she loves music in general, probably sings like an angel.

can't do any mathematics.

can drive, but like a lunatic. somehow has never had an accident though, so it's fine.

probably has a cute little baby blue/yellow car now, but definitely had a beat up offroader truck at some point that got put to good use. or maybe she still does, i'm not the boss.

total lesbian, a bit of a heartbreaker but not intentionally (women just keep falling for her)

goes to town/neighbourhood/community meetings. likely is/was in a knitting circle

absurd number of quilts in her home

pomni/penny:

is an accountant as we know, and cannot cook for shit as we know.

no pets she can barely take herself for walks. is more similar to a cat, but had a dog growing up. would love a collie or a dalmatian probably.

would name the dog something stupid like Thermometer Johnson.

she can drive, but nervously.

really quick thinker, like impressively, unless she's under HUGE amounts of stress. is literally always thinking at 100mph.

no sense of interior decor or personal style. all practical, kind of butch. really does kill a suit.

very much lesbian but not fully to terms with it. probably had short-lived relationships with men in which she was 'content' but didn't really care for it. seeing agatha as agatha for the first time was probably a crazy punch to her little gay heart. not to mention the cowboy gear.

autistic

watches 90s anime to wind down

listens to every single genre of music. passes a lot of time with headphones in, slowly making her way thru the entire world's discography

owns no band merch or anything though she just listens

can't sleep without a fan on, thunderstorm 12hr audio, blackout curtains, weighted blanket, water nearby

does not sleep a lot

both of them (going to call them pomni and ragatha for convenience):

didn't immediately recognise one another. i havent got an exact idea of how they reunited after getting out, but there were tears.

bonded in a very rare and unique way - they got to revel in the newfound joys of real life again. they got to eat delicious food, go on long, unobstructed walks in the real sun, be warmed by it, chew on ice cubes and shiver at the pain, listen to each other's heartbeats, listen to real music, read real books, smell soaps and flowers and sauces. they went to the supermarket together and read all the labels, and bought one of each type of fruit to try between them, and smelled all the candles, and touched all the blankets. spent a lot of time holding hands and kissing and i'm sorry to say, probably having sex, because holy shit, i'm real, you're real, we're real

now live together in ragatha's apartment, after pomni moved out of her small and confusingly-furnished flat.

both of them feel inadequate from time to time. this is resolved by a stern-but-loving talking-to.

sandwich likes pomni very much. pomni doesn't really get cats, but loves sandwich a great deal, and enjoys letting her sleep on her lap.

ragatha is very pleased to see her girls getting along.

ragatha cooks, pomni chops the veg. she often doesn't fuck it up

pomni cleans a lot as a 'thank you for letting me live here, i love you'. she's very much acts of service, ragatha is words & physical touch <3

they watch a lot of movies together. depending on how long they've been stuck, they might have culture to catch up on

ragatha wants to have a house with a garden one day. pomni starts germinating seeds from their fruit & veg like a weird science experiment. ragatha is delighted when she is presented with a baby tomato plant.

clothes are shared. ragatha's are bigger, but most of pomni's are ill-fitting anyway so it can go both ways. ragatha likes to dress pomni up in different outfits and have her do a little fashion show. pomni pretends not to savour the confidence boost.

pomni starts sleeping more

[befemininenow]

My coming out as a trans lesbian. (A message to my followers.)

Yes, everyone. I am "gay", or should I say, I'm a lesbian.

This may come as a shock to some of you since I would talk about "hot men" and even make captions about attracting hunks and whatnot. If you notice an absurd amount of those kind of captions surfacing this past week until now, that's because I was dealing with comphet, short for compulsive heterosexuality. In reality, I do not like men nor am I attracted to masculinity.

Why until now? One, it’s because I wanted to wait for the right time to come out and it was coincidentally on Lesbian Visibility Day. Two, it’s something I've been questioning ever since I found out I was trans. This didn’t happen in a day or two. It’s been years and I would have thought I was just pansexual. However, I was not sure whether I genuinely liked boys or if I just liked their validation. It turns out it's only the latter and I was questioning whether I was really gay or just gynosexual. I admit that getting positive reception from them turned me on and I could see the kindness and affection they displayed towards other women (something that really made me euphoric). But the moment you would place me next them for more, say, intimacy (I'm trying to keep it PG), I felt that spark turn off. Don't even get me started when they're bare or worse, send me D-picks (it's so nasty).

Now, I've never did any of that IRL. But, I've tried to interact with them through social sites. Not just in Tumblr, but in other sites like Grindr. If you ever think of creating a Grindr to meet, don't bother. It's hot garbage! All of them were chasers and not a single one was attractive. Only one "guy" seemed to be "cute"; it was a femboy, who was commencing their transition into a woman. Those were the only men I thought I was attracted to, but the reality is: I was only attracted to their femininity, but not their body or intimacy. Femboys are still men and I'm not attracted to men.

That got me questioning: Am I really only liking people for their femininity or do I genuinely only like girls? To make a long story short, I've never felt so much better than imagining myself being the lovely girl... of another girl! I always loved women as a guy, but now that I'm about to transition, being into women as a girl feels so right for me! No more comphet for me!

I know this is not the norm on these kind of blogs as the majority tend to be attracted to masculinity. However, I do want to say that even trans lesbians exist on the feminization scene. That leads me to tell all of you for the next update: You won't be seeing anymore new straight trans girl captions after the first few days of the next month. That's why you saw those kind of captions bombard my blog these past few days. It's just my way of saying "Let me just get it done with". I'm actually glad you enjoyed them, but I just don't feel any connection to those kind of captions anymore. I'll try to upload them when I can since I've been busier than usual.

Anyways, I'm happy you read this very long post. Even if you're not a lesbian, I hope this note at least gives you an insight on not keeping your true feelings locked any longer. Everyone deserves to be themselves. You should too.

Sincerely, Nikki.

[azlrse]

nah bc i NEED to know what happens to mc after their wakes up from their thousand-year slumber w malleus

they just wake up to realize that everyone they loved passed away centuries ago and that they’re living in an entirely different era, and that they need to haul their ass outta that castle

➳ once upon a dream part ii (a yandere malleus draconia x gn!reader oneshot)

cw: yandere themes, angst, implied forced marriage, isolation, using magic against one's will, implied minor character death & manipulation.

a/n: man I suck at creating dialogues lmfaoo

read the last fic here !!

"Please I beg of you, Tsunotarou!" You desperately gasp for air as you spoke those lines, clinging against his chest. You can feel your eyes glowing a dark green from the fae's magic to put you in a induced sleep, not to mention on how painful your body felt from this sudden transformation. "Don't put me to sleep, I still have a family waiting for me on the other side of that mirror."

On the other hand, Malleus consoles you, rubbing your back while both of his hands are glowing the same shades of green from your eyes. The prince felt really bad as guilt and desperation surges through his mind, repeating like a mantra that it's your destiny to stay here in Twisted Wonderland and forget those people you call your family. The mirror from his school proves it too! That the mirror calls for you despite someone who is powerless and didn't possess any kind of magic of your own.

"Shhh shhh." He whispered softly, now laying you by his side while your body's about to give out, signaling that his spell is working it's magic on you. "It's okay, my child of man. Do not fight it, let my magic lead you into a slumber that you will never forget. After all," He hugged your delicate body, his arm is wrapped around your torso while his other arm is pressed against your head, placing it against the nape of his neck. "A thousand years of sleep would feel like a dream and when you wake up, I'll be by your side." You felt a pair of lips pressed against your own cold ones while he caresses your cheeks.

"Sweet dreams, my love. I'll see you soon."

You felt your eyes fluttering for the first time, letting out a yawn and attempting to get up from the soft cushions of the bed you're laying in. In an attempt to get up, your head bumped into something what appears to be a glass. It surprises you that your bed has a glass cover on top, not to mention the absurd amount of flowers surrounding your room. You opened the glass coffin and for the first time, you are in awe the way the entire room looked like; it's gloomy yes, but the way the flowers added to the room's atmosphere makes you feel...at ease strangely.

You wondered to yourself how on earth did you ended up in this marvelous room. You tried tracing your memories on how you ended here in this strange place and yet, no luck. Your eyes landed on the sole exit of the room, trying to unlock it by nudging the door knob. No one answered. You tried speaking towards the door, in hopes that someone could hear you, no one responded. You are about to give up, returning to the bed coffin you once laid in when all of the sudden, the sound of locks and deadbolts are unlocked, revealing a small, petite maid carrying various flowers and her gardening tools.

Judging on how she looked, she is indeed a fae from the ears and the shade of dark olive green hair. She seems friendly enough for a fae so you spoke her meekly. "Um hello there.." From the shock alone, the maid dropped both the gardening tools and the bouquet of flowers that Malleus ordered her to be planted on your room. Stuttering, she bowed down before you, making you surprised in return. "Y-y-your majesty! I d-didn't expect you to be awake! It's an honor be by your presence, my king/queen!" Not only you are confused on why that woman called you by such rank you didn't even recall gaining it. You remembered that you aren't someone who is deemed as royalty but also you weren't from a royal blood line.

Unless someone who is royalty married you–

"I'm so sorry but this is a misunderstanding." The maid looked up at you in confusion. "What do you mean, your highness?" You quickly shooked your head as you picked up the various tools and flowers she dropped minutes ago.

"I am not used to be called by such endearment and I am not from a royal blood line–" The maid cut you off. "B-but, you are (y/n) Draconia! The crowned ruler of the Valley of Thorns and his majesty's love." She felt like you didn't by her words, which confuses her even more. As a last attempt, she pointed her finger to the portrait right above your bed which turns out to be a coffin. From the picture, you can see on how happy Malleus is alongside you. But, what makes it even more creepy is that you didn't recalled being married to him as your portrait portrays you as someone who is equally as happy as he is, the only difference is that your eyes glowed a bright green along with the black and green garment as your wedding attire.

"Y-your majesty? Are you okay?" You felt like you are about to pass out, stumbling upon the overgrown grass and vines on the floor below. With the adrenaline pumping by your veins, you ran away, pushing the guards and dropping your crown in the process. You ignored all of the sounds that rang around the place, ranging from the guards pleading you to stop from the bells above ringing, signaling that someone of royalty is in distress.

Which in fact, caught Malleus's attention as he saw the guards running and heard the bell ringing above.

Turning around the corner, you see a huge door which could lead to your forgotten freedom when suddenly, your body jolted backwards from the sudden force as the tip of your cape was caught by a sharp stone. In desperation to escape, you pulled your cape so hard that the expensive fabric was ripped and once again you sprinted against the tall door right around the corner. Your entire body was covered entirely with sweat and you never felt this good since the day you've slept and the adrenaline you have felt, it felt so accelerating yet weird at the same time.

You are about to open the door and to your surprise, Malleus appeared alongside with several guards and Lilia by his side. "My beloved!" He spoke, his voice is laced with a series of emotions ranging from disappoinment to sadness upon seeing your distressed state. Seeing his eyes alone, your precious memories from the past reminded you of what you once had. From your heartslabyul friends to your own family back in your world, it was those happy moments you want to cherish for the rest of your life.

However, you also remembered how that man you saw not only is your captor but also your husband and king. It was dawned upon you that Malleus himself took you away in fear that you will leave this world that called you in the first place and out of greed and desperation, he married you against your will. Seeing him for the first time made you sacred to the core, ignoring his attempts on coercing you to leave that door alone. Not listening to him, you opened the tall doors which turns out to the door that leads to the balcony.

This made Malleus worried for you even more as he shouted your name once more in fear. With nowhere else to go, you climbed on the stone fence of the balcony and felt the cold wind hit your face for the first time. "I knew that this day would come." Lilia murmured as he held Malleus's shaking hand as an attempt to console the once young prince. "(y/n)!" Lilia shouted, successfully getting your attention. "Malleus has something to say! Please let him explain to you!"

In return, you shook your head side to side, tears seeping through your face as you held the stone pillar for support. "How can I believe his explanation if that man before me casted me that wicked spell that cause me to have that slumber?!" You shouted fearlessly despite being scared towards him. The man that was once your friend walk towards the open doors of the balcony, with your crown by his hands. "I'm doing what's best for you, for us and seeing you leaving me is indeed torture and I won't spend thousands of years ruling alone without someone to call both my love and spouse."

"Then why did you choose me out of all those people? Why not someone's who's the same species as you?" Now, Malleus was right below you, with a sad smile on his face. "Because you didn't fear me even after you knew my name. You are the first and last human to whom my heart yearned for and the one I call the love of my life." He spoke. "I indeed apologize for casting that spell against your will but as I've stated before, I'm doing this for the sake of your love."

You didn't trust his words but asked another question. "How long I was asleep?" You asked, in which the king of faes gladly answered. "About a millennia, my dear. Just like the tale of the sleeping princess I've read to you when we are still in NRC." You almost lost your grip against the pillar upon hearing his words. Sleeping for a thousand years? For you it felt like you've been sleeping for at least a day or two. Then, another realization dawned upon you, making you nauseous. "Does this mean that-"

You look at Malleus's green pair of eyes and the fae said nothing but a sad nod. Everyone you loved in NRC, even your friends and family on the other side of the mirror are dead and you didn't have the chance to say good to them face to face. You failed to realize that while you are in deep thoughts, Malleus pulled you down from the pillar as you knees gave out once more. Tears begin to stream down your face once again, hitting Malleus's chest as a way to protest and as a way to wake up, hoping that this moment is nothing but a nightmare you couldn't wake up. You didn't believe that it's been thousands of years since you last saw your friends and everyone you knew in NRC.

If it weren't for you visiting that cursed dorm where he once resided, you could have the chance to go home, to be with your friends and family and to die as a human. You continuously hit his chest and it didn't bothered him, not even once as he cradles your tired body against his body. "No no no..." Your murmured, slapping his body. "This must be a dream- no a nightmare. This isn't real, I'll just wake up and everything's back to normal." You sobbed, now giving up on hurting the man before you.

You know that there's no one to take you in if you ever ran away from the castle since everyone you knew is now dead. No blood relatives nor friends to be by your side except for Malleus. For he and he alone could take care of you and he gladly accepted that offer. "This isn't a dream, my child of man." He replied, caressing your messy locks and placing the crown on your head. "You don't have anyone else but me to turn to. For I, Malleus Draconia, your husband and king, will love and cherish you for as long as I've lived." Kissing your head once more, he carried you back the room that was once his sleeping quarters, is now a shared room of both you and him.

He stared at you in awe as you kept on clinging close towards him. "Please don't leave me, my love. I will promise you that no harm will go through you, even from me." He replied, to which you kept on sobbing against his chest, now covered with tears and snot but the king didn't mind at all.

After all, he would like to thank his grandmother for the spell she taught him since he was a child. You are indeed this fae's sleeping beauty, now in his arms and forever be his.

Do not republish, edit, or repost to other websites.

Reblogs and likes are appreciated! 💕

[strqyr]

genuine question: do people want bad, inconsistent writing? is that it? because that's the only way "taiyang is and always has been a horrible father and yang had to raise ruby all on her own and she resent him for it" makes any damn sense.

like. where's the resentment?

where is yang, while happy that ruby is one step closer to achieving her lifelong dream, feeling just slightly frustrated that she's once again sharing a room with her sister, when going to beacon was supposed to be a place just for her for at least two years without having to watch after ruby and feel guilty over it?

where's the resentment when tai sent zwei to the girls to be taken care of while he's away on a mission, placing that responsibility on yang again? why show yang instead being flippant about the whole ordeal, and shrugging it off like it's nothing, being ready to leave zwei alone in the dorm room for the week they're away because he has the absurd amount of food and a can opener tai provided them?

where's yang bringing up how she had to apparently grow up early because tai wasn't there, when she wanted to be treated like an adult?

where's the resentment when yang was about to leave home under the assumption it was her keeping her father from going after ruby, only to find out he isn't coming with her, once again leaving the responsibility of taking care of ruby on her shoulders?

because the show i watched, it doesn't exist. to even remotely get to that point you'd have to ignore ruby talking about their dad in a way that makes it clear he was present and raising them, you'd have to ignore yang having to wait for him to be out of the house to leave herself once again proving he was present and attentive of them, you'd have to ignore ruby's first happy memory being from that same time period (and with no corresponding sad memory to counter it), you'd have to ignore him reading them bedtime stories and taking them out for boba after school, making sure he's spending time with them even when he's busy with work.

you'd have to ignore that both yang and ruby have a good relationship with their father.

that is not to say tai doesn't have his flaws—every damn character in this show does—, but that's exactly what V4 is about. the rift that existed between yang and taiyang was his refusal to talk about raven and doing his best to prevent her from looking for her. that's it. just compare the difference in tone between yang's "oh, so now we can talk about her?" and "i don't know. some things you just need to be there for." and it's clear as a day where the resentment actually lies.

therein lies the core of the arc between yang and tai, and like many issues between characters in this show, it gets resolved: for the first time ever, he properly talks with yang about raven, and when yang is about to leave, he doesn't try to stop her like he has before; instead, he asks her where she's going, and gives information that might help make her journey easier.

if they intended there to be any lingering resentment from yang, 'boba' was not the way to do it. we know what yang's resentment looks like: anger, snappiness, the like. it's not quiet, almost somber.

they could have written yang treating tai's absence in vacuo as something she has come to expect from him, but they didn't; instead, she wonders why, because she can't fathom what could be more important for their father than being there, in vacuo, with them.

and that alone comes as validation for everyone who has wondered the same: why is tai staying in patch when everyone else is on the move? this is a character we're first properly introduced to as a father who has fallen asleep by his daughter's bedside waiting for her to wake up, a father who is almost brought to tears by relief that both of his daughters are back home and safe.

a father we last saw being absolutely desperate for his daughter to come back on screen when ruby's message cut short.

and beyond brings a sledgehammer and says yes, it is odd that taiyang hasn't left home to be by his daughters' side. wonder why that is, must be something important, wink wink ;)

and if you ask me, that sounds like a pretty damn good "long con", and damn good writing.

[luneariann]

Bsd headcanons!

- Kouyou, 27 yr as of current canon

- Kouyou started dressing in traditional clothing in an effort to seem older/inspire more respect when she first became an executive, and it stuck. now instructs all the people under her wing to do the same

- Actually a huge fan of romance novels, Chuuya started reading them cuz of her

- Tea snob

- WILL judge you to your face in the most convoluted language, you will only realize you were insulted in like three business days

- She has freckles but she covers them up w makeup, Yosano loves them

- Yosano, 27 yr old

- When she was first adopted by Fukuzawa she tried doing things she thought kids her age did in an effort to feel more "normal" it didn't rly work

- Has won scariest ADA member four years in a row, shes both very proud of that title and very protective of it, actively does scarier shit once the elections come back around each year

- Wine snob!

- Veryyy blunt, she got it from Ranpo (Fukuzawa would call him a bad influence except he theyre both saying what hes thinking so)

- Dazai, 26

- Has tried to be a plant dad to win a bet w Ranpo, failed miserably, none of his plants are alive but theyre all lovingly named anyway, he talks to their decomposing corpses sometimes

- The worst fashion sense known to man, he KNOWS how to dress he just makes the active choice to dress like a bowling alley carpet when given the chance

- When Atsushi made him a friendship bracelet and he had to be excused to go to the bathroom and compose himself

- Hes Yokohamas local cryptid

- Chuuya, 26

- Loves romance novels, its his greatest secret

- Dazai gave him a bunch of plants as a surprise gift during his brief plant dad phase, he frantically learned everything he could abt them so he could take care of them properly

- He cuts his own hair, yes it is uneven on purpose, he thinks he looks cool (he does, but only because hes Chuuya so he can pull off literally anything) (yes i am biased why do you ask)

- Fantastic cook

- Piercings <333 he would get a tattoo but he doesnt rly do well with needles (cough trauma cough)

- Atsushi, 18

- Had a "sleepover" with Kyouka when he realized neither of them had ever had one, it was great they did eachothers nails and watched romcoms together, Kyouka decided she didnt really like them but Atsushi did so they watched them anyways

- Made everyone friendship bracelets one time on said "sleepover"!

- ALSO has an atrocious fashion sense, its Dazais influence <//3

- Kyouka has made it her personal mission to fix his haircut over time (he cuts his hair with kitchen scissors, she was horrified when she saw)

- Akutagawa, 19

- a full on trad goth, he goes simple for work tho

- Hes a gatekeeper, sorry yall </3

- Carries around an umbrella in the sunlight cuz he burns rly rly easily

- Gets cold REALLY easily too

- The most socially inept man you will ever meet, Gin had to cover for him A LOT when they were children

- When he first realized he felt something for Atsushi he not only did not realize that his heart speeding up around him was a crush thing, but thought it was excitement for a fight, so he just ended up challenging him to an absurd amount of fights, going as far as to go to the ADA to pick fights

[slexenskee]

Don't Forget About Us (MDNSY Oneshot)

Makoto spares him an unimpressed look. “You looked like you were going to cry in front of a KFC of all fucking things a couple hours ago— and now you’re the drunkest I’ve seen you in months and seem determined to somehow sing your way out of a crisis.”

For an ask about the new bff learning about the past bff

Read here [link] or below:

“Not here,” Satoru says, which draws her up short.

They’ve just finished up a show at a nearby club, and despite the late hour are utterly ravenous. Kenji and Yui begged off for the night, leaving Makoto alone with her lead singer. Makoto has led them to the nearest appropriately greasy and unhealthy restaurant within eyeshot— a KFC. Not her go-to pick as far as fast food or even fried chicken is concerned, but beggars can’t be choosers. 

Except they can, apparently, because Satoru seems pretty staunch in his disapproval. 

Makoto stares at him incredulously. “Don’t tell me you’re on a diet,” she laughs, joking.

Her laughter fades as Satoru’s expression remains unchanged. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen that look on him before. Distant and constellated. Even with his glasses off he’s a bit impossible to read. 

“Seriously?” Her look turns skeptical. 

He’s the size of a waif and eats more sugar than should be statistically possible. And a bit of processed fast food is hardly the worst thing he’s done to himself in the time she’s known him. The cigarette dangling from his lips is a sure sign of that. And since when does he have a problem with fast food after a live show? He lives for this shit. 

“I just don’t like fried chicken,” he returns, which is a blatant lie if she ever knew one. He likes fried chicken just fine; he especially likes it at one in the morning, when he’s starving after a setlist. 

She rolls her eyes. “Oh my god, get something else on the menu then.” She’s starving right now, and the tantalizing scent of fried food is only making it worse.

“Anywhere but here,” he says, and this time, she can hear the threadbare shot of panic in the bottom of his voice. 

Does he… Is he being serious right now? Evidently yes. Taking another look at him, he really does look unwell. 

“Okay,” Makoto says, slowly, taking a step back from the well-lit doorway. “We’ll go somewhere else, then.” 

“Preferably with alcohol involved,” Satoru adds, flippantly, and turns on his heel, as if the sight of a single fast food restaurant sign could do more damage to him than the excessive alcohol he’s about to consume. 

Makoto lets it go, for the time being. This weird but shockingly talented bandmate of hers has the strangest hangups sometimes. She’s just learned to accept them, for the most part. And not ask too many questions— he gets real squirrelly with those. And every time she thinks she’s getting closer to the truth of him, he twists the paradigm around with yet another absurd and/or vaguely horrifying revelation.  

Makoto shoves them into the nearest izakaya she can find— ironically a yakitori joint with ample fried chicken on the menu— and immediately orders them a round of beers that Satoru tacks on with a bottle of sochu. Ah. So it’s going to be one of those nights. They order a responsible amount of food with their drinks for the first few rounds, but eventually it just turns into the two of them getting wildly drunk and staggering out of the place draped over each other in search of the nearest karaoke bar. 

Makoto would have thought the guy would have had enough of singing, what with performing a whole setlist just a few hours ago, but drunk!Ru-kun really only has two modes, slutty stripper Ru-kun or karaoke star Ru-kun, and since he’s still hung up over Hawks these days, it looks like they’re shutting down the karaoke bars tonight. 

Not that Makoto minds, necessarily. It’s been ages since they’ve had a night out like this, and she’s got a whole weekend to be miserable and recover from what’s shaping up to be a raging hangover before she has to drag herself to work again. And for whatever reason, she’s sensing Satoru might be in desperate need of a night out himself. 

The place they stumble into is equal parts nightclub and karaoke bar: a large, darkly lit open interior sprawls before them packed to the gills with dancers; disco lights zip across the crowds and the bottle services girls fighting their way to their tables with sparkling champagne thrust into the air like shooting stars; and at the far end an inebriated girl with cat ears is belting out a fairly decent rendition of Mariah Carey’s Shake it Off as she struts across the bar. In short, this is probably exactly the sort of place they were both looking for. 

Makoto swindles them a free table with a bit of flirting with the hostess, and finds herself holding court among a generous crowd of random inebriated strangers thrilled to get drinks off her tab, while Satoru wanders off to find the mic. She loses track of him for a bit, but is unsurprised when he resurfaces wearing someone else’s blonde wig, up on the bar himself singing Baby One More Time as he fumbles his way through the dance routine with the cat-eared girl in tow. Still in his stage outfit from earlier in the night, he honestly looks like someone paid him to be up there, which is probably why the entire bar is clamoring towards him like he’s a celebrity or something. 

He shows up at her table eventually, sprawling himself over her and the booth with his borrowed blonde wig in tangles across his face. She throws it off him as he makes grabby hands for a bottle of champagne on the table. She should probably cut him off at this point, but she’s wasted herself and doesn’t have enough fucks to care anymore, so she just pours them both another glass and clinks their glasses together. 

She has no idea what time it is when she starts to feel hungry again and orders food. They could have been in this place for hours or days, and she wouldn’t be able to tell; it doesn’t seem to be in danger of closing on them any time soon. The crowds come and go, but the place stays packed and the loud music has yet to bother her, so she doesn’t feel inclined to leave. What would be the point? There’s no food at her apartment, and ever since she broke it off with her last fling, no one waiting for her either. From the way Satoru constantly gets his turn at the mic, she doubts he’s in any rush to leave either. 

So maybe they’re both just eager to run away from things. But for his sake, she should probably get him to talk about it. The last time he was having some kind of internal crisis he was trying to drown out with alcohol, he’d ended up sleeping with a Top Three Hero and catching feelings for him.

“Okay, so what the hell brought this on,” she finally corners him, after he’s done with an obnoxiously impressive cover of Despacito for a guy who speaks absolutely no Spanish, and is once again sprawled in the booth with her.  

“What? Nothing.” She supposes she should at least be happy to see him putting orange juice in his champagne, even if he’s yet to touch any of the food. 

Makoto spares him an unimpressed look. “You looked like you were going to cry in front of a KFC of all fucking things a couple hours ago— and now you’re the drunkest I’ve seen you in months and seem determined to somehow sing your way out of a crisis.”

“It’s not my fault everyone keeps shoving the mic at me and picking great songs,” he retorts, stubbornly. 

This probably means she should drop it and just let him run away from his own problems, but beyond just trying to save himself from the worst of his own vices, at this point she’s also just curious. 

“Fine, drink your way out of a crisis,” she amends, then shoves a plate of dosas at him. “And at least eat something if you’re going to do that. I’m not dragging you home if you’re too drunk to walk.”

Satoru pouts ferociously, but nonetheless reaches for a crepe and tears off a bite. “I’m not having a crisis,” this idiot insists, like the emotionally stunted idiot he is. 

“Really? Let’s go to a KFC then, if you’re not having a crisis about it. We’ll bring the whole band.”

“I’m not having a crisis about fucking fried chicken, okay,” Satoru says, expression turning a bit pinched. “I just— it was bad timing, is all. If I hadn’t just gotten done with playing our last setlist I would have been fine to eat there.”

This draws Makoto up a bit short. Her brow creases. “What does the setlist have to do with it?”

Satoru stares at her for a moment, indecipherable. Then he grabs his champagne and downs the whole thing. He sets the empty glass on the table as he says, “I almost had to kill my best friend in front of a KFC, once.”

It’s so unexpected she nearly drops her own drink. “What?” 

No, seriously. What the fuck? 

“He’d gone off the rails and killed a bunch of people,” Satoru continues, only bewildering her further. “I was supposed to put him down, but at the time I just couldn’t do it. I tracked him down, stood outside the store ready to kill him, and I just… I couldn’t do it.” 

Makoto leans back in her seat, reeling. 

She’d call it some bizarre made up bullshit, but sadly, every facet of Satoru’s life sounds like bizarre made up bullshit, so it’s probably the truth. 

She scrambles for a response. “I— when was this?” 

“A while ago,” he answers, clipped. He reaches for the entire bottle of champagne, and this time doesn’t even bother with the glass. She doesn’t stop him. 

She has no idea what she expected from this mysterious and eccentric bandmate of hers, but admitting to attempted murder was really not in her cards for the guy. Then again, what did she expect? She watches him down the entire bottle as she tries, and fails, to get her thoughts together. There’s just so much to infer from this and she doesn’t even know where to start. Just what kind of guy was his best friend, that he’d gone on a killing spree? And why would it ever be Satoru’s responsibility to execute him for his crimes? And what does that have to do with their setlist? 

She at least gets one of the answers she’s searching for.

Satoru wipes at his mouth, looking out into the strobe lights as he says, “He wasn’t a bad person. He just… wanted more than life could ever grant him.” 

Makoto blinks, realization dawning hard and fast. 

(I wanted more than life could ever grant me)

Satoru never talks about how he writes his music. He swears, in fact, that it doesn’t really mean anything to him at all— that he just makes them up off the top of his head. Makoto had never once believed that, and now she has the proof. She’s heard him sing Today is the Greatest hundreds of times at this point, but she’d always thought it was about himself. The more she learns about him, the more she realizes some of those lines align a little too closely to his own experiences to be anything but personal. But she supposes two things can be true at once; that song can be about him, but still remind him of a friend he’d lost. 

She almost doesn’t want to ask, but… “What happened to him?”

Even the stifling, crowded warmth of the nightclub plunges into ice as he says, without looking at her, “I can only hope he found more peace in death than he did in life.” 

Makoto startles at the implication. 

But at the time, I just couldn’t do it. 

So he managed it, in the end? 

Before she can even fathom up a response, the cat-eared girl is leaping over the booth to wrap her arms around Satoru, begging him to get up and help her duet yet another Mariah Carey song. 

“Make it Don’t Forget About Us and I’ll do it,” he says. 

Without hesitation she agrees, and he grabs his ridiculous wig and jumps over the seat to join her. He’s probably eager to once again run away from his feelings and, this time, she can’t blame him whatsoever. Or on second thought, as they really get into it in the chorus, she has to wonder if this isn’t actually him running from his feelings so much as confronting them head on? "When it’s real, it’s forever" indeed. 

//

She learns a hell of a lot about her ridiculous bandmate over the course of the following months, but she never quite gets a straight answer over his former best friend, and possibly first love, and she never directly asks, either. If he wants to tell her, she’ll listen, but otherwise she’ll let him approach it in his own time. 

But she does make sure he knows she’s around if he ever wants to talk about it. 

They’re at that same R&B karaoke joint, this time enjoying their time in a far more sedate and far less exorbitant manner with drinks at the bar. Satoru has long since lost that blonde wig, but the bartenders have clearly never forgotten ‘Karaoke Queen Ruru’ because they shower them with a generous amount of free shots and make pointed questions about the karaoke queue every time. Satoru waves them off with a laugh though, insisting he’s just here for a quiet night out. 

“You’ve gotten boring ever since you got wifed up,” Makoto denounces as he hedges off yet another turn at the mic.

Satoru’s expression turns a bit pinched— and panicked. “I’m not married,” he hisses, furtively. “And don’t say that so loud! I don’t need the rumors to get any worse.” 

“Not married yet,” Makoto revises, rolling her eyes. “For reasons that still allude me. What are you waiting for, exactly? You can’t ask for a more public or dramatic proposal than the one you already got.”

“It’s not that,” he insists, rolling his glass in his hands. 

Makoto blinks at him. “Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet.”

“I’m not,” Satoru remarks, although he does look a bit shifty-eyed. Makoto squints at him. A bit of dread sinks in her stomach.

“Satoru,” she starts, cautiously. “If you really don’t want this…”

“It’s definitely not that either,” he assures her quickly. His mouth pinches into a tight line. “I know it took me, like, an inconceivably long amount of time to get to the point where I can admit it outside of our various discographies, but I do want Hawks. I don’t have any doubts about it.” 

He stops, the silence holding for a heavy, offbeat moment as he seems to want to say more, but can’t manage to force the words out. Makoto isn’t sure what else to do but wait patiently for him to finish, and when he doesn’t, flag the bartender down for shochu shots. Nothing like a bit of liquid courage to brace yourself for some trauma dumping. 

Satoru huffs out a laugh as she rolls one down the bar towards him, clinking their glasses together. “Thanks,” he says, as they cheers.

“What are friends for?” She counters, tossing the shot back. 

Satoru follows her, then sets the glass back down on the bar as he wipes the salt off his lips. “I don’t have any doubts,” he repeats, after a moment. “I guess I just… need a bit more time to let go.”

Let go? Her brow furrows in confusion. Let go of what? 

Then she remembers the last time they were at this bar. The last time Satoru had run away from his past straight into the arms of excessive alcohol and a cat-eared girl singing R&B classics. Remembers his request for his last song, where he’d stood on top of a filthy bar and belted out, “I’m just speaking from experience, nothing can compare to your first true love” to a packed dance floor all singing along with their hands in the air. 

She sets her own glass down. “Were you and your friend… were you two like that?” She asks, hesitantly. 

Were you lovers, before you killed him? 

She’s a little relieved when he shakes his head. Romantic or not, she’s sure that doesn’t lessen the pain, just makes it a different kind of regret. 

“No. Well— not exactly.” He looks conflicted. “We never… it was never like that. It might have been, but, well…” 

Then he had some kind of psychotic break and turned into a mass murderer, and Satoru had to be the one to put an end to him permanently. Right. What a fucking mess. No wonder this guy has spent most of his life doing his level best to avoid his own past. The more she learns about it, the more depressing it gets. 

She nudges him sympathetically with her knee. “It’s okay to mourn the loss of what could have been,” she says, gently. “It’s not wrong to need time to move on— no matter how much time that is.”

Satoru nods, looking lost in his own thoughts. 

Makoto bites her lip. “... Does Hawks know?” 

He blinks, surfacing from his own head to look at her. “Yeah,” he answers, without hesitation. Then he lets out a sharp, bitter chuckle. “He knows everything, but he sticks around anyway. I don’t really know what I did to deserve him.” 

“And what are the rest of us then, chopped liver?” She kicks him in the shin. “I’m not going anywhere either, you jerk.” 

Satoru’s eyes are very wide as he stares at her. Then he ducks his head, a bit bashful. “Yeah,” he agrees, looking a little wistful. “I got really lucky with all of you, didn’t I?” 

“Damn right you did!” She kicks him again for good measure. “I’m sticking around, no matter how many stupid identity reveals you try to throw at me. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” 

He barks out a laugh, grinning widely. “Good! Mark your words, I’m holding you to that!” 

(And when he confesses his plans for an anime of all fucking things, and reveals an entire past life’s worth of trauma at them, she screams a lot but she does, indeed, stick around to turn it into the best damn anime ever produced.)

--

idk I was listening to a lot of Mariah Carey's 2000's hits and remembered I'd made another Satoru cross-dressing alter-ego specifically to sing R&B karaoke hits so here we are 🤷‍♀️

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[raainberry]

Raspberry Blue Night

« silly series - 16 »

Yeji x gn!reader

synopsis - if you’re walking and Yeji is by your side, it’s a date. on this one she decides to make a pit stop in a photobooth

T/W - fluff, late spring night vibes, yeji is a little tease but also a big pouty baby, reader is a bigger tease

wordcount - 905

A/N - its been so long since i posted yeji, im so sorry to the anon(s?) i basically left on read for three weeks i promise i wasnt ignoring you😭

It was a cute spring night. Just at dawn of summer, when the air stayed warm and the trees grew into their best form and colors.

Your hand swung with hers, stirring the soft breeze around you. The shy looks you stole at each other, the giggles slipping out of your lips when you caught each other…

It all had strangers looking at you fondly as you passed them down the streets, thinking themselves a witness to the blooming of a sweet, innocent love. A first date.

It all felt like it to be fair, so you couldn’t blame them. You didn’t want to correct them, but truth was you and Yeji’s fingers combined wasn’t enough to count for the amount of dates you went on anymore.

"Oh, it's cherry!" she hummed in delight, the sweet scent of the candy wafting through the air, teasing her senses.

The heart shaped lollipop you’d bought for her at the corner bakery was blue, a color that intrigued the both of you, though not enough for you to get one as well.

You chuckled softly, gaze dancing with amusement "Are you sure?" you chuckled, and she furrowed her eyebrows at your skepticism, a playful pout forming on her lips. "I'm just saying, it seems odd."

“Here then, see for yourself.” She offered, holding the lollipop dangerously close to your lips only for you to back away from it.

You’d hesitated for a moment, and Yeji couldn’t help but giggle at the way your features scrunched up; the sound echoing off the flowery balconies surrounding you.

"What, you make out with me but you draw the line at sharing candy?" she teased, her laughter bubbling up like a spring melody.

A faint blush creeped onto your skin. Not because of her words or her teasing, but because you realised how absurd your thought process was. But again, was it really? One glance at her lips, one thought of the smile they hid and it all made sense again.

So you argued your point.

“Yes, I do. Candy’s overrated, I’d much rather kiss you.” You let your words hang in the air for a moment, so Yeji looked at you expectantly. Curious to see what you’d follow up with.

“Besides, if I kiss you I’d taste it anyway, wouldn’t I?”

Yeji suddenly came to a stop, drawing your eyes back on her. You found hers gleaming, lips curved into a sly smirk. Some playful challenge she was inviting you to.

“Seriously?” You chuckled, yet your hand never let go of hers. You still held onto her, erasing the small gap that had appeared when she��d stopped walking. You’d gotten a step ahead, like you usually turned out to be when it came to fun and games.

But she knew how to bring you to your knees.

Yeji's smile widened, turning into that grin you loved so much, a flicker of amusement dancing in her gaze as she tilted her head slightly. “What, don’t you want to find out?

Absolutely you did, so you pulled her towards you, grinning excitedly as you braced yourself to feel her lips on yours.

Those pretty shaped and full lips of hers that left more gloss and lipstick on yours than you’d ever liked but never minded. They never came.

Instead you heard a shriek, leaving your pouty lips feeling empty. You’d caught her gaze suddenly flickering behind you but thought nothing of it until she pulled her attention away from you and onto whatever had caught her eye.

Whatever it was she wasn’t going to check it out without you apparently. Her hand stayed in yours, pulling you towards what you guessed was a photobooth as you approached it.

With the way Yeji dragged you there and pushed you into the booth, you’d think she was familiar with the place.

That simply wasn’t the case.

You watched with an amused smile as she fumbled with the commands and buttons in display. “What are you doing?” you giggled, as her pouting became more and more evident on her features.

“I don’t know,” she whined. “I just hope it didn’t just swallow my coins.”

Now, you knew Yeji could be intimidating if she wanted to, but scare a machine into working? That was new. And impressive, considering the fact that she didn’t even try and was acting like a big baby this whole time.

Guess her words were enough of a threat, finally allowing you to make her money’s worth of memories.

As soon as you could see yourselves on the screen, Yeji got a hold of your cheeks, squeezing them together and molding you into the cutest thing ever in her eyes.

She made sure to call you that too, pointing it out just to see your reaction. She usually found it even cuter, the way you act like it bothers you although you secretly love it. You like that she finds you cute. You want her to. And she knows it.

So you let her coax you into a series of poses, all ranging from silly to dramatic. It’s the single most amazing and longest five minutes of your life, and it was all topped and worth it when you felt her lips on yours for the last shot.

The taste of her lips was familiar, reminding you of your banter moments ago, and you made sure to tell her as soon as you pulled away.

“Pretty sure it’s raspberry.”

[officialfoxsquadron]

Luke Skywalker NSFW Alphabet

Writing exercise complete! Here's some headcanons revolving around this NSFW alphabet meme. Just smutty, horny thoughts under the cut. Generally throughout the Original Trilogy with a gender neutral reader!

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

No matter the era, Luke is incredibly sweet after sex. He’s always happy to clean you up and prefers, if he can, spending lots of time kissing and cuddling afterwards. I honestly think the aftercare would be one of his favorite parts, just spending time with his loved one and falling asleep together.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part is his eyes. I think he’s not really prone to much vanity, but sometimes he does look at himself in the mirror and think “Huh. They really ARE blue.” And you KNOW once he gets the ESB arms he is like wow…wish my dad didn’t cut off my hand…because my arms look so damn good right now…the true tragedy.

I have posted about Luke being attracted to thighs, but I also am firmly in the “Luke is a tits/chest man” camp. It’s just true! Sorry!

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

First of all shout out to the community for canonizing for me that Luke cums an absurd amount b/c…yes. His preference would be to cum inside of you, but he also loves to cum on your stomach and just see how much of it there is. He’d also be really into cumming in your mouth and tasting it afterwards.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He is interested in exploring pain as pleasure, both giving and receiving. But he wouldn’t do it without a trusted partner and a lot of talk beforehand. Otherwise he’s pretty open about his fantasies.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

I mean, oh my god. I think this depends on the timeline. A New Hope Luke has very little experience beyond making out, I think. But he would be very eager to learn. ESB Luke? Has at least fucked a few times and is just generally more knowledgeable. ROTJ Luke and beyond? It does not matter whether or not he is experienced, the man can read your thoughts so he’ll probably do fine.

F = Favorite Position

He likes anything really intimate. He loves missionary, but also really loves spooning you and the access it gives him to your body. He also looooves you on top - he’s able to really look at you, feel you, even change it into a sitting position and make out.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Again, this depends. He definitely can be, and I think he’d be able to laugh about any awkwardness or silly mishaps. He’s also really playful, and would love play fights or tickling that turns into more. But, I also think he can get pretty intense at times, especially during the act and right before he cums.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He tries to keep things neat, but he’s not too concerned with it. His hair is a little darker, and he has a small happy trail from his belly button. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Okay this is a big one. I think the intimacy of sex is the most important thing for him. Given his connection to the Force, sex is just as much of an intense mental experience as it is physical. So all this to say, he is very romantic, making sure his partner is happy, giving them as much pleasure as he can. He always, always, always would want to cum simultaneously or very close together.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

So I headcanon Luke as on the ace spectrum (demisexual), so this headcanon definitely relates to that.

I think he’d occasionally masturbate, but it’s not like he feels he NEEDS to. Especially in the Rebellion, if he ever gets a moment alone, I feel like he would just be thinking, “Oh, nice, I can jack off now! Great!” And then just...not think of it again for four more weeks because he’s so damn busy.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Man is never beating the praise kink allegations, sorry! He loves being told how amazing he’s doing and how well he’s pleasing you.

I think he’d be really into overstimulation? The idea of upping the intensity of pleasure, chasing multiple orgasms…yeah he’d love it. 

I also headcanon him as a switch, and he’d love taking control sometimes. But he’d also love you in control, making him beg–especially during ROTJ and beyond. He is so in control of his feelings and finally started to work out this whole Jedi thing-he’d love a partner who can ease him into losing control for once.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

A little boring, but given his history, he would be so excited to make love in a big, plush bed. He’s so used to sleeping in bunks, on the literal ground, or on his ship, so he thinks it’s the most romantic thing ever. Any time he is near a body of water or has a real shower, he also wants to take some time there together-even if it’s just to make out or cuddle (but lbrh, it always ends in sex.) Also, despite the logistical nightmare, you definitely fuck in his X-Wing at least once.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Adrenaline is a huge one! Anytime he’s working out or fighting, he’d get turned on easily. He’d like sparring or training with his sexual partner. And as much as he likes to tease his partner, he loves being teased in return. Especially if you’re newly dating, he would get flustered very, very easily by the minimum amount of flirting.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Definitely not into choking for obvious reasons, same with being called daddy. I also don’t think he’d do something involving non-consent.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Luke loves giving oral! He could spend hours pleasing his partner, drawing multiple orgasms out of them. He loves to receive too-loves wrapping his hands in his hair, and especially loves if you let him fuck your mouth.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He prefers to go slow and really take his time. Time is such a luxury to him, so pretty much any time he can draw things out he will. That being said, he doesn’t mind something more rough and passionate, especially if it’s been a while since he’s seen you.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’d be down, especially if your schedules are busy and as a younger man, when his passion tends to run hot.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He definitely loves to experiment! He’s probably not super knowledgeable (personally I think Tatooine was pretty sexually conservative, as rural areas tend to be.) But as soon as he’s with someone he trusts, it’s like a flip switches.

Hmm. In terms of risks, I mean…this is the guy who took one look at the Death Star trench run and was like “oh this is easy.” So he’d definitely be down for a few risks (something semi-public or with the danger of getting caught) but I don’t think he’d go crazy.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

As a younger man, he can definitely go for a few rounds. During ANH/ESB he sometimes finishes a little faster than he intends (sorry Luke!) but eventually, his patience grows. ROTJ and beyond, though-it’s pretty much the exact opposite. He has a ton of patience that he uses to tease you. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

I think he’s willing to experiment! He might not immediately think of it but with a partner who’s interested, sure. I don’t think he owns any toys.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Luke is such a tease. He has so much fun drawing out the experience for his partner and getting them worked up. I have this headcanon of him just whispering the most insanely horny things to a partner in semi-public settings and..yeah he 100% would!

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Luke is also not beating the vocal heacanons, sorry! He will whine and beg, like he can get pathetic. But there’s also times where he’s surprisingly calm and quiet, just staring at you or panting softly, completely lost in the moment.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon)

LET’S TALK ABOUT INAPPROPRIATE USE OF THE FORCE.

Especially pre-Jedi Training, there will be some moments where he would accidentally use the Force during sex. It wouldn’t be conscious but like, let’s say he’s gripping a headboard and he’d accidentally grip it a little too hard? Or right after both of you finish, in the hazy afterglow, he’d reach for a towel and it would just..float into his hand.

ROTJ and beyond, he would be very very cool with using the Force for your pleasure, but only with explicit permission. (He’s a Consent King, what can I say.)

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I still maintain Luke is packing, given some of the ahem EVIDENCE we have throughout Mark’s career. Also, he’s uncut. He’s long with some girth, but nothing disproportionate.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Hm. So I headcanon Luke as demisexual so I’d say it depends. If he doesn’t have a partner his sex drive is pretty low. But if he has a partner, oh LORD. I think he’d want to be having sex literally all the time. Especially if you just started sleeping together. You would need 3-5 business days of just fucking together before he’s satisfied. He’d be so excited to just explore with a new partner!

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 

Especially after an intense session, he can fall asleep pretty quickly! But he at least wants to clean you up and make sure you’re alright before he knocks out for the night. He just feels really pleasantly sleepy afterwards.

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

The Temptation Chapter 4

Summary: Father Barnes is devout, steadfast, and undeterred by flirtatious congregants.  So why does this fallen angel tempt him so?  You cannot serve two masters.  Will he choose God, or his heart? Priest!Bucky x curvy!reader Warnings: eventual smut; religion (yes it's a warning); mentions of past sexual assault

Bucky had not seen or heard from Y/N since that confessional night.  He didn’t expect to, but it made him more anxious the longer he didn’t.  Would she actually come try to talk to him?  What would he say?  What would he do?  Why would he suggest that?

”Father Barnes,” Father Richards called out as Bucky was in the courtyard garden reading.

”Yes?” 

“We have a meeting set up with Miss Y/L/N and her estate lawyer tonight at 8 pm”. Bucky’s breath hitched.  “She wants to do the reading of the will here.  Hopefully Constance was quite generous to us,” he said.

”Yes, hopefully,” Bucky smiled politely.  

That night could not have come sooner.  By 7:55 Bucky was positively buzzing.  He heard the tapping of heels in the hallway and immediately stood, Father Richards following his lead.  A man walked in ahead of Y/N in a fancy suit, looking very self-important.  Y/N was looking at the floor as she walked in.  Bucky had to restrain himself from making a noise as he ogled her.  She was wearing black again, this time a low cut, lacy black shift dress that stopped mid thigh.  She had an oversized black suit jacket over it, her bare legs ending with black strappy heels on her feet.  Her pink hair was still pulled up in a scarf like the day he met her, showing off her neck and the gold chain and earrings she wore.  That damn blood red lipstick was on her lips again.  She looked like sin, and he secretly loved it.

”Welcome,” Father Richards greeted them.  “Please sit.”

The lawyer sat and before Y/N could take the other chair she stared at the desk.  “Is this a new desk?”

”Yes,” Bucky piped up, looking at her earnestly.  “The other was faulty, so I got rid of it.”

”Got rid of it?  He took the fire alarm ax to it and hacked it, saying we needed firewood!” Father Richards laughed.  The lawyer chuckled at the absurdity, but Y/N stared at Bucky.  He gave her a slight nod.  She blinked, gave him a dazed nod back and sat down.

”Well, let’s get on with it,” the lawyer started.  “Here is the last will and testament…” he droned on in legal jargon that was all gibberish to Y/N and Bucky.  They kept glancing at each other, a silent conversation seeming to happen between them.  After almost an hour, since Constance had a lot of money to spread out, he said, “Ah, here it is, after all the other charitable donations.  ‘Lastly, I leave a charitable donation of’…” he seemed to double check the number, “‘$2,000,000 to the Brooklyn parish of the New York City Catholic Church’.”  Y/N huffed a laugh, her eyes rolling.  “‘The rest of my estate, the home, the assets, and the sum of $8,887,124.36, will go to my granddaughter, Y/N Y/L/N’.  And that’s it.  Congratulations to all of you,” the lawyer stood, giving the priests and Y/N handshakes.  “Your checks will be sent to you by tomorrow morning, all other assets and the home should be in your name already, Miss Y/L/N.”

”Thank you,” Y/N gave him a nod.

”Let me show you out,” Father Richards led the lawyer out of the office, leaving Y/N and Bucky alone.  Y/N looked everywhere other than at Bucky, contemplating what she had been left with.

”Congratulations,” Bucky said, trying to break the silence.  

“The same to you,” she whispered, sparing him a glance.

”Yes, the parish will get some much needed updates with that amount.  Maybe throw some fun parties,” he tried to keep the conversation going.  Y/N just nodded.  She finally took a deep breath and looked at him.

”Could we talk?” She asked.

”Sure,” Bucky answered a little too quickly.

”Alone?” Y/N pressed.

”Yes,” Bucky said.  “We can go to the back somewhere.”

”Lead the way—“

“Miss Y/L/N, what a great blessing from Constance,” Father Richards returned, making them both jump.  “Thank you for working with us.  I know you’re not fond of us but I hope you won’t be a stranger.”

“Oh, sure, thank you Father,” Y/N gave him a quick handshake and an odd look.

“I’ll uh, show you out,” Bucky offered.

Bucky led her to the front doors.  As she stepped out he said in a low voice, “Come around the back towards the garden.  I can let you in from there.”  Y/N nodded and walked off to the left towards the back.  Bucky walked briskly through the halls towards the back of the church, past the kitchens and the nuns quarters.  Thankfully it was late enough that people weren’t milling about and he was able to get back to his personal area without being seen.  This was dangerous.  He could feel it in his bones.  And yet he kept walking.  He reached the door that connected the garden to the church and wrenched it open for her.  Y/N was already there and thanked him as she stepped in.  He led her down the last corridor that led to his room.  

She realized when she stepped in it was his personal room.  It was small, with a full sized bed, a small desk in one corner and a closet and bathroom on the opposite side.  He also had a bookshelf that was filled with books, some she recognized as books she had recommended to him, which made her smile wistfully.  Y/N could also feel the danger of this situation, but felt it was important to get it done here and now.

”You can have a seat on the bed if you’d like,” Bucky offered.  

”Thank you,” Y/N said quietly, taking a seat on the edge of his bed.  Her dress rode up a bit on her thighs, making Bucky blush and look away, feeling flustered at the fact she was here, on his bed.

”So, uh, what did you wanna talk about?” Bucky pulled the chair at the desk out and sat it in front of her so he could face her.  He kept it a couple of feet away as he sat down.

Y/N breathed deeply.  Bucky tried hard to focus on her face rather than her lace covered cleavage rising as she breathed.  “I need to tell you something.”

Bucky nodded.  This was the moment.  He still had no plan, no idea, for what he would say or do in response.

Y/N blew out a puff of air and laughed at herself then closed her eyes.  “I like you Bucky.”

“I like you, too,” he answered automatically.

“No, I…I really like you,” Y/N opened her eyes.  “In a way that I shouldn’t.”  She shifted on his bed as she looked down again.  “I want…to do things with you that you can’t do.  And because of that, I have to leave.”

“What?” Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed.  

“I’m leaving,” Y/N glanced at him.  “I’m going to renovate and keep the brownstone as a home base, but I’m going back out to do more travel photography.  I just can’t…” she paused as she looked at him.  “I can’t stay and keep running into you everywhere.  Have these coffee dates that aren’t dates.  Constantly crave something that I can’t have because you won’t choose me, and I don’t want to make you choose!” she rushed out the last part.  “You’ve been a great friend to me, and I have enjoyed these last few months I’ve been here, but I can’t do this anymore.”

She made a move like she was going to lift herself off the bed.  Bucky immediately reacted, moving from off the chair to a kneeling position in front of her, making her legs spread to accommodate him and a gasp fall from her lips. His hands cupped her cheeks like they did a few weeks back and held her there, staring into her eyes.

“Don’t,” he begged.  “Don’t leave…”

Y/N’s mouth dropped open as she watched him.  She loved the sight of him kneeling and begging before her, something she didn’t know she would be interested in but it was lighting that forbidden fire deep within her.  His big blue eyes were pleading with her.  Her face twisted into a look like she was in pain.

“I can’t stay,” she whispered, her eyes looking sad as her head tilted, nuzzling into one of his hands.  

Bucky wasn’t sure who leaned in first.  It didn’t matter.  Next thing either of them knew their lips met.  Bucky had not kissed anyone since he was a teenager, so he had forgotten the euphoric feeling, and now that he got a taste of his forbidden fruit he was insatiable.  Her lips were soft as they moved against his with desperation.  Bucky didn’t know what he was doing and followed his instincts, his hands slipping to the back of her neck to hold her close, then slipping down her back to bring her body flush with his.  Y/N’s arms wound around his neck and he felt like he was melting into her embrace.  Her fingers ran through his hair and as she scratched softly down his scalp he whimpered against her mouth.  Her legs caged his hips against his bed as her hands explored, cupping his jaw and then moving her lips away from his mouth to start kissing his cheek, then down to his neck, one hand holding his neck in place and the other ripping at his Roman collar, popping a button for her lips to gain more access to his throat, then scratching down his chest.  Bucky’s head fell back, his eyes rolling in his head as his hands found her hips then ran down her bare thighs, kneading the plushy skin.  

Bucky’s eyes landed on a cross that was hung on the opposite wall in his room that he had draped Constance’s rosary on.  He had a flash of guilt surge through him that was quickly replaced with pleasure when she sucked on his neck.  He felt like this was a whole new type of worship.  The popular song he’d heard from a few years back flashed through his mind:  “Take me to church.”  The devilish, carnal side of him knew in that moment that he would abandon the cross, abandon his promises and covenants, if it meant that his church was this: this woman, this pleasure, this sweet release.

Y/N’s lips traveled back up to his mouth.  He kissed her hungrily as she opened her mouth and her tongue licked along his bottom lip.  He opened his mouth and she dipped her tongue in, tasting him.  She let out a moan and Bucky chased the sound with his tongue.  He suddenly lifted himself up and pushed Y/N to the bed on her back, one of his knees settling between her legs right at her core, making her shiver in his arms.  He took his turn in kissing and licking down her throat until he reached her chest, burying his face into her cleavage as he smelled and kissed her.  He wanted to suffocate in her.

Y/N’s hips rocked against his knee, searching for the friction she desired.  As her head tilted back her eyes fell on the cross and rosary on his wall and she stiffened.  Bucky froze when he felt her tense up.  He looked up at her and followed her eye line to the cross.

“Stop,” she said, pushing him back by his shoulders.  Bucky immediately got up but stayed close.

“Y/N,” he started.

“This was a mistake,” Y/N muttered as she adjusted her clothes and stood up from the bed.  She grabbed her bag and started walking towards the door.

“No, Y/N wait, please!” Bucky grabbed her arm.  She wrenched it out of his hold.

“NO!  No Bucky.  This is wrong.  I’m sorry,” she paused, stifling a sob behind her hand.  “I’m sorry I tempted you.”

“What?  Y/N you didn’t tempt me.  I’m a grown man who can make my own choices, and I chose to be here, alone, with you, because I wanted to.  You didn’t make me do anything,” Bucky stood in front of her.  “I wanted that.  I want this,” he gestured between the two of them.

“It doesn’t matter,” Y/N cried.

“How could it not matter?” Bucky asked incredulously.

“Because you can’t have us both!” Y/N yelled, pointing towards the cross.  Bucky sighed defeatedly when he glanced at the cross again.  “And I won’t make you choose.”

“I just want you,” Bucky said desperately.

Y/N shook her head as she side-stepped him.  “Goodbye Bucky.”  She took her heels off so she wouldn’t make too much noise walking along the hard floors and opened his door.  “See you when I see you.”

“Y/N,” Bucky whispered but she was already halfway down the hallway, ducking around the corner and back towards the side door he’d let her in earlier.  Bucky broke down in tears for the first time in years as he watched her leave.  He closed his door and sat down beside it as he wept.  Everything he felt was too conflicting.  Devotion pulling him two different ways, the lust he’d been drunk on, the guilt eating him from the inside out, her smell still floating around the room making him aroused but devastated.  He got up and walked over to his bed, her body outline still indented into his comforter.  He fell to his knees where he’d been earlier and laid his head into the indent, his tears wetting the blanket as he breathed deeply, trying to calm the throbbing pain in his cock and his heart.  

**picture if from Pinterest, it's A.I. so there's no "artist" or "creator"**

@wintrsoldrluvr

[sarejima]

i am a starving child and am requesting kyman fanfics to soothe my hunger (PLS recommend ME SOME)

OMG YAY SOMEBODY ASKED ME SMTH IM SO HAPPY AMSBSDB

Unfortunately I'm a green and inexperienced mother but I'll do my best!! (thisll be long as i cant keep from waxing poetic about fics i like)-

The love of my life and one of the best things I've had the pleasure of reading period is “Know your Enemy” by Elsen. It's beyond perfect to me enough so that even though it may never be finished I'm sort of satisfied. Eric's characterisation is beautiful and literally just as hilarious as in the show itself with the way he schemes and jumps over nonsensical hoops in his head in order to satisfy his self image in processing his feelings for Kyle and unwitting desires to submit to him. The plot and setting in and of themselves also somehow complement his absurdity. Also has just the right amount of perversion. (Okay I'm done sorry)

Another genius Cartman channelfic that I was audibly giggling at due to the insanity of his mental gymnastics is "I crush everything" by Rainbow_Convection which is quite short and mainly deals with him "processing" his feelings

(The above person is really good at writing compellingly about manic impulses and emotions so check out their other fics too)

On a similar note and also exploring implications of Cartmans outright deluded conscious, this time through Kyle's perspective, is 'Imaginationland 4: a tale of two Kyles' by Sinshipsahoy where it's revealed to Kyle (in increasingly horrifying ways) that Cartman's mind is (literally) swarming with him.

(This guy also has a worryingly well written corpse desecration fic so if that's your cup of tea)

In the 'I'm with Stupid' series by numbknee Eric gets together with Kyle and is annoying and fiercely loveable and everything's great until Kyle realises that sadly Cartman's views on relationships/love in general- but especially with Kyle, his 'enemy'- had been significantly skewed from the start due to an aversion to vulnerability, stunting their progress. I especially like the fourth and last fic/chapter.

Kinda depressing but in 'Sharing Last Names' by serpenrzbreath an adult Cartman's Kyle obsession is partly due to lamenting, while in the depths of denial, his own collosal wasted potential as over the years wasted rotting and room-bound due to severe mental instability but also just lack of trying, one of the only things grounding his shame is Kyle's comparative success, and when a time of reckoning comes an unwilling(?) Kyle is all he feels like turning to. However he soon learns that pity and concern is much more confusing and enraging than ire.

Some more Kyle focused fics are

'Love and the other thing' by Gumdroppy where we get an equal amount of Kyle and Eric perspective- Kyle who revealed his love for Eric as a kid first and loves Eric WAY too much for his own good(to the point where his friends feel the need to take measures to ensure his best interests) and Eric who perhaps fell harder- worships the ground Kyle walks on- but can't seem to help the kneejerk hurt and abuse that flows from his hands. Bonus points for jealous Stan and Kenny being an angel.

Ans also by Elsen 'How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let My Mortal Enemy Eat My Ass' which is really hot with a compelling theme of overcoming Kyle's past trama what can I say

'It's basically a weird cat, right?' By Verimakea is a adorable fic about adult Kyle who by chance meets Eric in raccoon form(and then not-so-raccoon form) in which Cartman has separation issues and Kyle is forced to battle loneliness and incteasing mildly worrying feelings for this addition to his life.

Some other concepts:

'Baby, Just Say Yes' by shortstackedcheesecake96- a beautiful wonderful fic where the palpable chemistry between a (surprisingly earnest about the subject and a talented actor) Cartman and (quite good novice) Kyle get cast as Juliet and Romeo respectively. There's so much compelling teenage awkwardness where they both appear to be unwillingly drawn to each other despite everything in ways they feel they really shouldn't- Kyle especially is almost embarrassingly captivated by an Eric in his element- and it's such a pleasure to read; just thinking about some scenes has me wanting to reread it lmao.

(This writer also has a lot of enticing and well-written smut too)

'Fake it 'till you make it' by mewtwos is another fic I hold so so close to my heart in which Kyle and Eric have to fake date for a bit, until they realise that these fake displays of affection draw them in a little bit too hard; make them a bit too lightheaded, and by that point the reel has already been cast. It's insanely well written.

'Expertise' by Mewtwos where Eric is a little too eager to practice kissing with kyle and they have a little awakening

'To Be Wanted' by Verimakea- a Cowboy au where Kyle takes it upon himself to capture Wanted Sheriff Cartman, but things quickly gp array and they and up stuck together in one place for an indeterminate amount of time, with Kyle put in a position where he often has bo choice but to rely on the other. This writer is seriously skilled at painting subtly erotic/suggestive imagery, and writing complex emotions into characters through their actions so its quite the fun leg-kicking read lol.

'Copacabana' by Senkenwoo is a bittersweet fic about jaded middle aged retired performer Kyle recalling how he lost his charming and endearingly annoying bartender lover

Some unconventional smut cus y not:

'Laid To Rest' by gosh_zillah in which Kyle has a deep seated desire to be a cocksleeve and subsequently gets watched in his sleep by an enthralled little audience for a bit(among other things as he proves to be quite perceptive lol)

"You're in his DMs? i'm in his walls, we are not the same" by ratherblue - Eric watches Kyle have smexy times thru a hidden camera; implied mutual pining. Also Kyle's trans

'Cause I'm a free bitch, baby' by knumbknee where Kyle sees an Eric in proper drag for the first time and is transfixed

'sleep tight' by bloodylamb is a quirky little sleepover somnophillia fic where Kyle's mildly vocal about his Eric-disposition in his sleep if you're good with dubcon.

I'm sure you weren't expecting to be waterboarded by text and for this I apologise

[dmercer91]

ebug's sister, dm91

part one / part two / part three / part four /

i accidentally deleted this with ctrl z THREE TIMES i was going to have a mental breakdown

blakefriarr_

liked by dawson1417, edwards.73, and 5,612 others

blakefriarr_: my brother's an ebug, episode four!

i thought my last post was missing something, and i decided it was eyebrows looking horrified at something in front of him, so that’s back. see slide four

from the top, though, slide one is rowdy and merc sitting on the bench. nothing special other than dawson very closely inspecting the blade of his stick

then we have daws in the sin bin repenting for his crimes. they give them little juice boxes like school children!! go to timeout and have your lil drink, it’ll make you less prone to felonies <3. he’s even matching with the zebra, cute!

fifth and not finally, we have dawson, again, looking all cute n shit, to balance things out, obviously, cause this post didn’t have enough of him already.

actually finally, we have me and jj (we’re about to express a light to moderate amount of emotion, babes. viewer direction is advised)

jj let me literally cry on his shoulder last night, and this morning he brought me (i drove, but that’s besides the point cause he initiated it) on an impromptu shopping spree!! some old hag looking bitch at work screamed at me for something that was entirely out of my control and made me cry about seventeen minutes into my eight hour shift yesterday, and twin mode was very activated in him.

he even bought us those dazzling glasses and posed for my photo, AND he stood outside the dressing rooms while i tried clothes on and gave me very crucial information on wether or not i should buy things (one nod for yes, a look of complete disgust for meh, and a dumbass smile for ‘this looks great but i refuse to say it even though we are biologically the same and look almost identical’)

thank you, slightly older brother, for being there for me and listening to me complain about my often overwhelming and underpaid job <3 i love you like 96% of the time

view 691 comments..

jj.friar31: you're welcome, slightly younger sister <3 i love you like 97% of the time

→ blakefriarr_: aww that's like a lot of the time

jj.friar31: every time you whip out hockey vocab like stick blade i am painfully reminded of the year i didn't try out for rep and we played on the same team

→ blakefriarr_: why are you acting like stick blade is extravagant hockey lingo

→ jj.friar31: mom calls it the bendy part

dougieham: i'm scared to ask.. you played hockey??

→ blakefriarr_: i was an enforcer.

→ jj.friar31: she's not kidding.

rutgermcgroarty: slay

adamfantilli: slay

nicohischier: the face was cause i saw jj in the stands and i know you're his ride. also, don't call me 'eyebrows' ever again

→ blakefriarr_: well what else am i supposed to call you

→ nicohischier: nico????

→ blakefriarr_: why would i ever call you nico that is completely absurd

seamuscasey26: slay

dawson1417: i feel appropriately appreciated every time jj is the ebug cause i get ample screen time in these glorious things

→ blakefriarr_: what is the inappropriate amount of appreciation

→ dawson1417: this, usually. but for you there is no inappropriate amount, appreciate me as much as you want

→ drayanewman: AYO

dawson1417: also, you got yelled at?

→ blakefriarr_: customer service core

→ dawson1417: text me :(

→ jj.friar31: you have his NUMBER!?!?!?!!?!?

→ blakefriarr_: shhhhhh you're sleep typing go back to bed

dylanduke25: slay

jackhughes: did you just call me rowdy

→ blakefriarr_: it can read

→ jackhughes: how did you find that classified information

→ blakefriarr_: there's a groupchat.

→ jj.friar31: you have MULTIPLE of their phone numbers?!?!?!?!

→ blakefriarr_: i thought i told you to go back to sleep what are you still doing here

→ trevorzegras: can i be part of this groupchat you speak of

→ blakefriarr_: ariana what are you doing here

→ blakefriarr_: but also yeah i'll get quinner to add you

mackie.samo: slay

ryangraves27: your camera is on dawson

→ blakefriarr_: whatever this was (a question? a statement? an observation? a complaint? all of the above? fucked if i know) i hated it

→ blakefriarr_: please use at least a question mark, a period, something, ANYTHING, gravy i'll give you your own post. do you want jj? you can have jj this is like an ad for him tbh great emotional support entity

→ dawson1417: gravy i will pay you actual american dollars to ensure you do not get your own post before i do

→ blakefriarr_: that is really sweet, daws, but i cannot go on like this please

markestapa: slay

edwards.73: slay

→ blakefriarr_: ok i've had enough @/lhughes_06 WHAT have you done

→ lhughes_06: i have no idea what you're talking about

→ blakefriarr_: i am living in your bones.

→ lhughes_06: ... i'm not even really sure how i can reply to that

luca.fantilli: slay?

→ blakefriarr_: @/lhughes_06 sleep with both eyes open. one is not enough.

→ lhughes_06: you said i was dumber than quinn which is just entirely incorrect

→ blakefriarr_: that was more than TWO WEEKS AGO??? have you been plotting this since my birthday?? and this is all you could come up with??

→ lhughes_06: i was aiming for confusion

blakefriarr_: update: groupchat participant that will remain anonymous has sent me the video of luke calling hockey a business. i'm laughing so hard that i can't even threaten the university children

→ lhughes_06: QUINN??

→ _quinnhughes: i plead the fifth

view more comments..

[merakiui]

ngl, I very much want to hear about archangel Rollo and incubus boss Azul, Mera-

In this au, I like to imagine heaven is just,,, built like a corporation and so, though Rollo is an angel of high rank and can thus travel freely between the human world and the realm of the celestial as a messenger, he's basically the angel equivalent of the modern day salaryman. orz but he's very dedicated to his job and rank, and he refuses to cut corners or risk doing anything that goes against his own rigid principles as an angel! He's constantly trying to manage the chaotic force that is Floyd, which is the main reason he assigns Floyd a human to begin with. Rollo hopes that time in the human world will do Floyd good (and it's also one less problem for Rollo to manage up in the clouds).

Most angels of lower positions receive their assignments directly from Archangel Flamme. He can seem strict and no-nonsense (which he is), but he is also polite and upstanding, determined to always keep relations between humans and angels peaceful. He's not very fond of demons or hell in general, so it would be soooo devastating if he fell for a demon darling and ooooo the temptation he's always struggling with and yes. >:)

As for Azul, he's a lowly ranked incubus who is determined to climb the ranks and find his rightful place at the top. He runs a secret service in hell that matches demons with human hosts. Most demons need to go through lots of stuffy procedures if they want to visit the human world (although there are always cracks and loopholes that are slipped through and exploited). For the low, low (read: very steep) price of your power or half your lifespan or even rare heirlooms, Azul can write up a contract that allows demons to claw their way into the human world. <3 it's his specialty.

He keeps tabs on what's happening within the realms. Jade often acts as his messenger, slinking up to the surface to survey poor, unfortunate humans in need of their demonic pick-me-ups. Azul will happily do business with all creatures. Everyone's a deal just waiting to happen in his eyes. He was cast out of heaven for practicing forbidden magic (among other sinful deeds), and from the rubble of nothing he's built himself up into something. He avoids feeding off of sexual energy and instead gets his sustenance through other human fluids (namely blood, but it's not nearly as fulfilling).

Azul claims the reason he refrains from seeking out human meals is the absurd amount of calories that come with loveless sex, which is partially a reason he abstains, but the real reason is that he's very awkward beneath his silver-tongued flattery (read: loser virgin). He's a business-demon first and foremost, not a creature mindlessly shackled to his own biological imperatives. No matter how hard he avoids it, how much he uses other means to feed, it's still never enough. Although that's how all incubi feel. They're never satiated. So hopefully Mr. Azul can find that special someone (you) who will make him feel whole hehe. <3

[ironstrange1991]

Love Is All You Need

Pairing: Supreme!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Stephen isn't feeling well and you decide to take good care of him

Word Count: 2,7k

Warnings: +18 Smut: masturbation and oral sex (male receiving)

A/N: I am really sorry it took me so long to post this but I really hope you like it.

You've been distracted all day with work at the Baxter Institute and you don't even have time to notice Stephen's absence. You were used to him always walking into your office with that pompous know-it-all face and teasing you, eliciting sighs that were both passionate and irritated. That day however Stephen had not come to see you and that had gone unnoticed because of the absurd amount of work that kept you busy all day.

It was late afternoon when Sue knocked on your office door. "Hey, what a nice surprise, come in"

She walked in smiling and closed the door behind her. "What are you doing here?" You asked

She shrugged "Needed to talk to Reed and decided to come in to say hi"

You nodded smiling, finishing your work and putting away the materials that were scattered on the counter.

"Everything is fine?" You asked noticing that there was something different on your friend's face. She sat down. "Well, I was going to wait to tell you, but for you I think I can tell." She sighed "I'm pregnant"

You looked at her in surprise. Sue and Reed were the parents of a beautiful boy named Franklin and Sue always said she didn't want any more children. She seemed to read your mind "I know what you're thinking, I said I didn't want to and it wasn't really planned, it just...happened"

You pulled up a chair to sit next to her "Does Reed know yet?" She nodded "And are you guys okay with that?"

Sue thought for a moment "I first thought I wasn’t, but the truth is we are." She grins "I'm happy and so is Reed"

You smile in relief, holding her hand "Well, in that case, congratulations to both of you. I'm very happy that the family is growing"

She nodded confidently and squeezed your hand in hers "Me too. I haven't told anyone yet so..."

You nodded reassuringly "Are you sure Reed didn't say anything to Stephen yet?"

She nodded "Well, I just showed him the exam results and since Strange didn't come to work today..."

You looked at her in surprise "Stephen didn't come to work today?" She caught the surprised note in your voice, "I thought you knew. Reed told me he wasn't feeling well so he canceled all his appointments today."

You sighed "That arrogant asshole! He didn't tell me anything"

Sue stared at you, lips in a thin line. You sighed "I was busy all day and didn't even realize it. I thought he was busy too."

You picked up your cell phone and there were twelve text messages from him and a few more in voicemail "Fuck"

"He will understand that you were busy and that's why you didn't see the phone y/n, don't worry"

You sighed putting the phone in your pocket "Are we talking about the same person?" She nodded in surrender, but you shook your head as if to dismiss that thought. Stephen would have to wait.

"Tell me how this happened? Is it recent? How many months are you?"

Sue smiles "Remember the trip to Switzerland?"

"At the science fair? Really?" She nodded "According to my doctor I'm eight weeks along."

You smile "I hope it's a girl this time" Sue nodded "Yes, Reed is confident it will be."

You nodded "He'll be a great girl dad"

The conversation with Sue progressed easily as it always did when the two of you were together, but when your cell phone rang a second time she got to her feet "Well, I'll leave you free to deal with your boyfriend." You nodded "It was good to see you, Sue."

She smiled "See you on Friday." You frowned and she chuckled "The party your father is throwing in honor of the Institute's eight years"

"Oh sure, there are so many parties and events that sometimes it's hard to keep up."

She agreed "Your father can be extravagant, but we can't complain, the best investors came after one of the events offered at Stark Tower."  You nodded “Right” After Sue left you grabbed your things and headed straight for the parking lot leaving only a message for your dad saying you were leaving.

When you arrived at the Sanctum, you were greeted by a hurried Mordo who asked you to make yourself comfortable, opened a portal to the Kamar Taj and left. You sighed walking up the stairs.

When you entered Stephen's room the curtains were drawn leaving the room in a shadow and he was lying in bed hugging the pillow. He barely noticed your presence.

You left your bag on the bedside table and took off your shoes and then sat down next to him "Stephen, honey, are you okay?" He hummed crawling closer to you and wrapping his arm around your waist as he laid his head in your lap "I called you, left several messages"

You took your hand to his hair, lightly stroking and removing the strands that fell on his forehead "Today was a busy day at the Institute, I didn't stop not even for a second " You touched his forehead feeling it warm against your hand " You have a fever. You need to see a doctor"

He denied "I'm a doctor, remember? It's just a stomach flu. I've been throwing up all day, but I feel better already"

You sighed knowing full well that there was no point in arguing with him "You need to take something for the fever, I'll get an antipyretic"

He let you get up and you knew very well that Stephen could be sneaky when he wanted to and part of that was just his way of getting your attention. Not that you minded. That side of Stephen, the part of him that was extremely touch starved, needy and spoiled was one of the things you loved most about him and if you had to stay there all night looking after him you couldn't complain.

He took the pill you handed him "Please, honey, come here, lie down here with me"

You did as he asked snuggling into a small pile of pillows and he wrapped his arms around you again laying his head in your lap "Is that what you called me all day? Because you need to cuddle?" He hummed "I needed you, it was an emergency" He inhaled deeply "You smell so good" He murmured and you chuckled stroking his hair.

You still get amazed at how clingy Stephen could be.

"Sue was at the Institute today, she reminded me we have a party to go to on Friday, you better be fine by then"

Stephen groaned irritably "I hate your dad's parties" You agreed "I know but we can't afford not to go unless we want to pick a fight with him which we definitely don't."

He sighed "Remember what happened at one of those parties? I almost killed one of his investors." "And then you didn't talk to me for a week out of pure jealousy"

He did not answer.

"The sex was good" You remembered

He hummed "In the library?" "Uh hm do you remember?" "How could I forget? Besides after that you told everyone about us"

"Because you made me do it" You accused

"I needed to make sure everyone knew you are mine"

You were silent for a minute contemplating the fact that it had been almost a year since you and Stephen had been together. What was really strange was that it felt like an eternity and not just twelve months. You didn't even remember what your life was like before him, as if everything that came before meant absolutely nothing.

"Is she really pregnant?" You were snapped out of your reverie by Stephen's husky voice. "What?" "Sue. Reed told me he thought she was pregnant. You should have seen the happiness on his face, he looked like a child"

You thought for a moment whether or not to tell Stephen, but you knew that Reed would tell him the next day and it would make no difference "Yes, she is. She also seemed very happy with the news"

Stephen hummed approving "That's good"

You smiled, caressing his hair, surrendering to those minutes that seemed to stretch for hours and at no time did you wish you were anywhere but there next to the man you loved.

When you realized that Stephen had fallen asleep, his breathing more regular, the grip of his arms around your waist loosening, you slipped out of bed, replacing your lap with a pillow. He didn't even notice.

You took the opportunity to take a shower and put on comfortable clothes and then went down to the kitchen where you found some ingredients to prepare a stew. You weren't exactly a good cook, but anything you made would be better than the frozen foods Stephen was used to eating. Besides, he needed to eat real food that would provide energy for him to get better.

When the stew was ready you went up to the bedroom to wake him up. He hummed annoyed when you called his name with a slight wave of his forearm.

"Stephen, honey, I made you something to eat, you'll feel better after eating, you know that."

He sighed, opening his eyes. You palmed his forehead getting calmer when you noticed that the temperature had dropped. You tucked a few stray silver strands of his hair behind his ear.

"Did you cook for me?" His voice was husky, but still as beautiful as ever. You shook your head smiling "Wasn't that what you wanted, that I took care of you?" He smirked and rolled over in bed stretching, a lazy yawn escaping his lips "Come here, kiss me honey" You bent down to kiss his lips, there was a bitter taste of medicine on his tongue but you didn't care. You missed that kiss all day and even though it was inappropriate under the circumstances the simple touch of his lips on yours turned you on. A soft moan escaped your lips and you pulled away "Come on, your food will get cold."

He held your hand refusing to get up "Can't I eat in bed?" You chuckled and he reached over taking his sling ring and opened a portal to the kitchen. You sighed "You are very spoiled, Supreme Strange!"

He chuckled, the sound making your skin crawl and your heart skip a beat. It was ridiculous that you still had those reactions to his presence. Stephen made you feel like a lovestruck teenager at times. You went through the portal and prepared his plate, putting it on a tray and taking it to bed for him. He sat up and you adjusted the pillows for him to lean on and then placed the tray on his lap "Oh if only the world could see the great Sorcerer Supreme today" He rolled his eyes "The Sorcerer Supreme has a right to be sick" "Uh hm, I confess I'm enjoying this more than I'd like to admit." He tasted a mouthful of stew "Are you enjoying seeing me sick?" You shook your head sitting on the bed next to him "You're being kind"

He couldn't hide that your comment surprised him, but he didn't say anything. He ate slowly and when he finished you took the tray back to the kitchen and went back to his room. It was already past eight at night and the tiredness of the day was beginning to overwhelm you. Stephen closed the portal and left his sling ring on the bedside table you crawled into bed snuggling in his arms.

"You look better" You said laying your head on his shoulder.

"I feel better" He said and you smiled and he pulled you to his lips surprising you with the intensity of the kiss. His hand went down to the little of your back sliding under the shirt.

"How better?"

He took your hand that was on his chest and went down with it until you felt the bulge growing in his hip "This better"

“Then is okay for me doing this….” You reached inside his pants grabbing his cock stroking him slowly.

He pulled you back to his lips, a low moan escaping his mouth "Fuck yes honey I love how you do it"

You hummed and knelt down on the bed and helped him get rid of his pants "Then let me do it for you Stephen" You held his cock giving a couple of jerks "I'm sure you'll feel a lot better after this" You bent down putting it in your mouth and he groaned leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

The feel of your mouth on his cock sucking him like only you could was all he needed. "Oh fuck, just like that y/n, you do it so good..." He groaned loudly as you swallowed it whole, the tip hitting the back of your throat, the wonderful sensation making him forget what he was saying, all he could think about was how good you were making him feel.

He brought both hands to your head, his fingers threading through your hair, but he didn't push. After a day like he had, having you on your knees going down on him like that was like heaven. And that's exactly how he saw you, like an angel taking care of him and putting up with him even when he was rude to you. Fuck, Stephen knew he didn't deserve you, but he loved you anyway.

You took it out of your mouth and spat at it, tears running down your face, spit running down your chin, your eyes red from the effort of swallowing it whole. You looked so perfect like that. You stroke him and then took him in your mouth again now helping with your hand, stroking the base while sucking the tip, flicking your tongue there while caressing his balls with your other hand making him see stars. The sound of his cock going in and out of your mouth was so obscene carrying him to the edge "Fuck honey, you're gonna make me cum"

You just hummed in approval, the vibration running down his cock like an electric current making his balls tighten as did the grip of his hands in your hair.

He started to thrust upwards and you knew he was close and he didn't stop until he got what he wanted. Stephen groaned loudly, his thighs tightened and with one last thrust he came. Ropes and ropes of hot cum filling your mouth. You swallowed all of it.

Your hand squeezing the tip of him drawing one last drop of cum from his slit. You licked it, not allowing a single drop to go to waste.

"Oh my god honey, this was amazing. Come here, kiss me"

You crawled towards him letting him wrap you in his arms. He kissed you ardently, his tongue dominating yours, reaching every inch of your mouth. He bit down on your bottom lip before breaking the kiss to breathe. Breathing still irregular, but slowly returning to normal.

"I love you, y/n. You mean everything to me. You know that right?"

You didn't answer and he lifted your chin making you look at him "You know it, right?"

You nodded shyly "I do"

He stroked your cheek with the back of his hand, "Good"

He kissed your lips lightly, then kissed your cheek and then the tip of your nose managing to pull a giggle from you "That’s my girl. You know I am the sorcerer, but you worked your magic in me today, you know that? I am feeling a lot better" He grins, that smile that always takes your breath away.

"I'm happy to hear that" You replied stroking the silver hair at his temple "I love you so much Stephen, you are everything to me. All I want is to see you well."

He smiles "I know, honey" You settled on the pillows opening your arms for Stephen to snuggle in them. Although he was visibly better, there were dark circles under his eyes and you knew he needed some more time to rest and get better completely.

You were silent stroking his hair for a minute, outside the traffic slowly decreased and sleep finally took over you.

"Since I won't be able to work tomorrow, could you stay here with me? " Stephen's voice sounded hoarse and full of sleep.

You chuckled "I'll think about it"

He tightened his arm around your body, sighing heavily and slowly both of you drift off to sleep.

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