#yes PR man!! show your powers!!

[rickybaby]

This is cute 🥰

[norrizzandpia]

you’re my absolute favourite lando fanfic writer, i get so excited whenever you post. can you do some sort of fake dating x enemies to lovers with lando & some angst & grovelling please? i leave the rest up to you, i can’t wait to see what you come up with<3

THIS IS THE BEST MIX OF TROPES I HAVE EVER SEEN I LOVE YOU FOR THIS also thank you so much for saying I’m your fav lando writer I’m blushing ☺️

You Were Never What I Wanted, (LN4)

Summary: Lando and Y/n have never liked each other and it’s only the distaste the world has for them when McLaren forces them to “put on a show for the public”. At first, a few hand holds and light, quick kisses seem to be tolerable, yet feather light touches turn into longing stares and, suddenly, they’re falling in love. Although, hatred is a powerful emotion. Can love really trump it?

Warnings: language, sexual discussions, very mild smut, lando and yn yearning, yn calling lando a man whore not affectionately, talks of death, a crash, she’s long so grab popcorn, omfg this one hurts

Note: i love a good fake dating y’all don’t GET. IT. Also i added the reformed playboy trope to this to spice things up! It’s very mildly mentioned tho UPDATE: PART 2 POSTED!

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Lando screeches, body flying from his chair beside Y/n.

Charlotte smiles tightly at him, nodding slowly and putting her hands up, “Lando, yes. You know this is the only way to clean up the reputation you two have developed together.”

He groans, turning to pace the room when Zak interrupts, “Lando, be a fucking man and clean up the mess you’ve made.”

He turns quickly, eyes bulging as he yells, “It wasn’t fucking me! It was her!” He turns to look at Y/n, bewildered look in his eyes as he points furiously at her, “It was you! You got us into this mess! You clean it up!”

Y/n rolls her eyes at him and he almost loses his head, “You’re just as at fault, Lando. You’re the one that openly criticized my driving in a room full of reporters and cameras!”

“I was asked a fucking question, Y/n. It was my job to answer it honestly.” He shoots back.

She scoffs, “Are you fucking psychotic? Or just that fucking stupid? Our job is to lie to the press, that’s what it’s always been. Don’t fucking change it when it’s convenient for you.”

Lando’s hands claw at his eyes as they continue to bicker, “The only person who’s stupid here is you.”

“I was standing up for myself!”

“Oh, yeah?! Now, look where that’s gotten us! A fucking PR stunt!”

“Get over yourself, Lando! You’re just as at fault!”

“You’re so fucking annoying, Y/n! Can’t take any fucking accountabil-”

“Oh, please, you’re one to ta-”

“OKAY!” Charlotte claps her hands as she stops the two drivers. The image before her is one she never thought she’d see this season. Lando Norris, a McLaren driver and well known playboy, getting mad he had to kiss one of the most beautiful women to grace the sport of Formula 1, fellow driver on the grid, Y/n Y/l/n. She surely would’ve chuckled if Lando’s eyes weren’t alive with an angry fire she needed to diffuse immediately.

“You two need to just realize that whose fault this was doesn’t matter. What you need to focus on is pretending you’re in love, so the media stops breathing down McLaren’s and Red Bull’s necks. This is the only way we can make all this bad press go away.” She explains, hands moving rapidly in front of her as she tries to calm the two down.

Y/n, the more rational one, nods, accepting her fate with grace. Lando, on the other hand, stomps his foot on the ground and mutters a sentence of agreement before storming out of the room.

Y/n laughs, turning to Zak and Charlotte, the papaya employees looking as if five years had just been taken off their lives, “I don’t know how you put up with him. He’s so fucking childish.”

Charlotte, media trained, smiles, “He’s better when he isn’t angry.”

Zak, not media trained, nods, “Y/n, I’ve never agreed with you more.”

The man and woman share a look, a subtle scolding glint in Charlotte’s eye as she stares at Zak. He backs down, earning a giggle from Y/n as she begins to leave the room.

“You’ll send the NDAs and other contracts over to Red Bull, right? I’d like to get this started and over with as soon as possible.” Y/n smiles, a soft one that makes others feel warm inside.

Charlotte nods, “Of course. Consider it done.”

Y/n, keeping her smile and composure, withdraws from the room, the door closing with a loud click.

Zak and Charlotte are left to sink down into the chairs behind them. Slugging, Zak’s head lulls to her side, “This is either the best idea we’ve ever had or the worst one.”

She laughs, “They either fall in love or hate each other more.”

—

“Okay, so,” Charlotte smiles at Lando and Y/n from her side of the SUV, the two on either side of the car, sitting as far away from the other as possible, “This is going to be a short outing.”

“Thank God.” Lando mumbles under his breath, earning a scowl from the girl beside him.

Charlotte huffs, continuing, “Just a coffee run. You’ll go into the cafe, holding hands, maybe a kiss or two, get your drinks, and then leave. Very quick. However, I need you two to give it your all. This will be the first time the public sees you as something more than enemies. It needs to be convincing. Heart eyes and maybe, if you’re comfortable, roaming hands.”

Lando’s head turns in utter disgust, “If you fucking think I’m going to touch her ass or some shit, you’ve absolutely lost it.”

Y/n’s body whips around, whole torso facing him as she stares him down, “Oh, please, Lando, you get no fucking women. You haven’t touched anybody’s ass, let alone a girl’s, in fucking ages.”

“Oh, yeah? Then, explain the girl that woke up in my bed this morning!” He fires back, head tilting in a challenging way.

Y/n shoves her arms across her chest as she sits back and whispers, loud enough for him and Charlotte to hear, “Man whore.”

Charlotte’s eyebrows lift slightly, exhaling a breath, “Well! This should be fun!”

The car comes to a stop in an alleyway, hidden from prying eyes. Charlotte lets the silence pass between the two for a few moments before leaning over and opening Lando’s door, “Well, get on with it! Chop chop! Don’t have all the time in the world.”

Lando slides out of the car, shaking his head and grumbling incoherently. Y/n follows him, however, when she gets her legs hanging out the door, she is reminded of just how high the car is off the ground. She goes to turn her body around, opting to slide slowly out on her stomach in avoidance of an accident, but, before she can get positioned, Lando grabs her hips and lifts her from the car, down onto the ground.

There’s a moment where she’s so taken aback, surprised, by the movement, all she can do is grip onto his biceps and stare down at her feet, safely on the pavement. It’s only when Charlotte starts yelling, “Yes! Yes, Lando! Just like that! Look at her like that!” That she looks up. What she finds is deep green eyes completely dilated and lost in the sight of her. She reminds herself of the hatred this man has for her, brushing off the way his hands squeeze over the flesh of her hips desperately, and removes herself from his hold.

Immediately, he comes to, the snarl replacing whatever emotion had taken over his face before. She trails down the dirty, smelly passageway, hearing Lando’s feet patter behind her.

It’s as if she’s achingly aware of his presence when he reaches her, just before they turn onto the public street, and takes her hand in his. The way his cologne wraps around her body, suffocating her in the most addicting way, and the feeling of his fingers fitting perfectly in the divots of hers, soft against her skin, has Y/n reeling. She goes along with his movements, relying on him to guide her as she travels to a place where Lando’s just the man she used to think he was; insanely hot and incredibly charming.

He pulls her back, however, when he opens the door for her and quietly says her name when she doesn’t walk through.

“Y/n?” His hand tugs against hers, smiling softly at the way she stares off into space. Whether that smile is genuine, although, Y/n has no clue.

She shakes her head, murmuring a thank you to him as she scurries past the threshold. When they both enter, their presence is immediately clocked by the other customers waiting for their orders. That’s what Y/n tells herself when Lando comes up behind her, arms around her waist as he rests his head on the top of hers.

“What do you want, baby? I’m paying.” He says, low enough for it to come across as a whisper, but loud enough for the girl in front of them to turn her head slightly in curiosity.

He’s surprisingly good at this, falling into the role demanded of him in a way that has Y/n faltering. She was expecting a man who was so distant from her, the same as her past partners, she had to beg for his attention. Yet, here she was getting showered in affection by a man she was convinced didn’t have the capacity for it.

Her response is easy, covering for the feelings arising within a certain part of herself she can’t quite name, “Just a cappuccino. Thanks, Lan.”

His grin is sweet as he lays a kiss on her temple. His hands rub over her hips as he detaches himself from her body and moves in front of her, teasingly pushing her away from the register with a light laugh.

Lando spews off the order to the man behind the counter as Y/n moves to the other side of the establishment, residing where the orders are dropped off. It could’ve been strategic, it probably was she promises herself, but Lando yells across the store to her.

“Y/n! Love, do you want food? They have your favorite here,” He smiles at her, earning a few giggles from fawning girls in the corner, “Croissants!”

Did he know croissants are actually her favorite or was that just a lucky guess?

Y/n gives him an airy chuckle, head falling back slightly in a lovesick way as she shakes her head, “Nah, I’m okay. Just gives us another opportunity to come back here.”

He nods at her, shaking his head at the barista and handing him some cash.

He tips the change, a hefty amount seemingly as Y/n watches the worker hesitate and thank Lando profusely. Her heart warms, shining on the inside as he treats hardworking people, those who are usually treated horrifically, with the utmost respect.

These reactions she’s having toward him are confusing, a far off nagging in her brain that she might’ve always wished for this type of attention specifically from him.

Nevertheless, she forces her mind to end its overwhelming thoughts when he waltzes over and sidles up next to her. She’s determined to keep this transactional, however she can.

She can’t get feelings.

She won’t get feelings.

And that was that, she decided.

“Lando!” Another worker calls out, setting down two drinks on the counter in front of them. Y/n goes to pick them up, however Lando beats her, giving her a cheeky grin as he mumbles, “You’re my girlfriend, Y/n. You don’t get the drinks, I do. Don’t be barbaric.”

She stands staring at him, mouth agape at his comment as the girls sitting behind them, somehow closer now, gasp.

Y/n hits his arm, the liquid jostling in his grip, “We weren’t supposed to say anything yet!”

He shrugs in return as he pushes the door open with the side of his body, and waits for her to walk through, “I guess I just couldn’t wait, baby. Too in love.”

She shakes her head at him, taking the drink from his hand, their digits brushing against the other’s in an electrifying way, “Down the toilet goes the soft launch plan.”

As they turn the corner, the smile he had been adoring her with suddenly vanishes and the usual pain that fills his expression when he’s around her returns.

“I’m just trying to get this over with, Y/n. Waiting a whole fucking month to tell some fans we’re together is so fucking stupid and I’m not doing it.” He bites out, a hostility to him she had forgotten in the ten minutes he had just treated her like she was his everything.

She drops the coffee on the ground as they grow closer to the car, shock at his quick change in attitude forcing her body to go numb. Lando stops when she does, both of them staring down at the leaking, steaming drink.

He dryly laughs at her, “How fucking stupid! Can’t even hold her own drink! No wonder you’re a shit driver!”

He gets in the car, shutting the door harshly and leaving her to internalize his criticisms.

For some reason, after getting a glimpse at what being loved by him feels like, his words hurt more, mean more.

What a dangerous game.

—

Lando is a known party animal. He’s in love with the blinding lights, loud music, and alcohol flowing without a care in the world what hangover he’d be graced with in the morning. However, with her here, it proves to be a much more stressful experience.

She’s glued to his side, not particularly the clubbing type, and Lando feels his heart quicken when other men bend their backs to see her walk away. A month into the arrangement they structured and he’s consistently feeling as if he’s fighting off every man that floats their way.

He’s worried someone will try to take advantage of her; he’s worried someone will spike her drink; he’s worried someone will touch her weirdly; he’s worried someone will bother her.

He’s worried about her.

A thought so pressing he forces it out of his mind, away from the impending cloudiness that accompanies a topic so big; the way he feels toward her.

The way it was explained to him, by the joint teams of McLaren PR and Red Bull PR, was that, for the first few weeks, their relationship outings would consist of soft dates, quick times spent out together grabbing takeout or a few pictures here and there on both their social medias that addressed their relationship status. Once they got past that time period, they would begin to see the public more often as a union. Long dinners, a handful of charity functions, a gala, and nights out clubbing riddled his calendar now.

Something he wasn’t too opposed to he was coming to find out.

That was the phase they were entering now; the hard launch. After his stunt in the coffee shop those four weeks ago, the teams had to regroup. The girls who had been hanging around had heard his slight confession of love, plastering it on the internet for every person to see.

The consequence? Lando didn’t get to be seen with Y/n for a week as the PR teams waited for the attention around the news to subside.

He wouldn’t risk that now.

Not when he was beginning to get used to the way her hand held his bicep as his fingers tangled in her other hand below.

“Lan?” She yells in his ear, their footsteps just now reaching the VIP section as the bodyguard lets them through.

He looks down at her, their faces centimeters away, lips centimeters away, and Lando’s scared.

Scared of the things he wants to do as her plump, pink lips sit right below his.

“Yeah?” His eyes avert to Max, his best friend, the boy giving him a knowing glance as he sips on his glass.

“Get me a drink please? I would do it myself, but I don’t want to risk having to talk to a random guy and-” He interrupts her immediately when she mentions the possibility of someone else hitting on her.

“I got it.” He’s spinning around, fast walking toward the bar before she can tell him what she wants.

She turns around, wandering over to Max and plopping down beside him on the soft, black couch in the corner of the room.

Max shakes his head as he looks at her, chuckling softly before letting his head fall to his chest.

“What?” She asks, eyebrows raising at the boy she had grown close to over the time she’d spent with his friend.

“You two are so funny.” He continues giggling, his girlfriend smacking his arm with a cautious look.

Y/n’s eyebrows furrow, “What?”

“You guys say you hate each other, but then you look at each other like you can’t wait to rip the other’s clot-” He begins, but Pietra slaps her hand over his mouth.

“MAX FEWTRELL!” She screams over the music, “NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”

Her scolding makes him cower into himself, a drunken look on his face as he searches for mercy from his girlfriend.

Y/n is about to press for more when Lando shoves her drink in front of her, holding it out for her until she cradles it in her own.

Looking down at it, her head tilts, “A vodka soda with two orange slices?”

Lando stares at her blankly, “Yeah, you’re favorite, right?”

She nods, “Yeah.”

They look at each other for a moment. Confusion on both their faces for two different reasons.

“Is that a problem?” He asks her, hand dangerously close to her thigh and heating the skin of her leg up with the need for him to splay his fingers across it.

She shakes her head slowly, “No, just- How did you know it was my favorite?”

Emotions flash through his eyes, too fast for Y/n to decipher them. He withdraws physically, cold returning to her leg when his hand retracts to his lap.

“Uh, you just told me a few times.” He stutters.

If she knew him better, she might say for certain he was nervous.

Not mentioning the fact she had never told him what her favorite alcoholic drink was, Y/n moves on. It’s not because she doesn’t want to find out how he knew what she liked or that she simply doesn’t care how he knows, it’s because a camera catches her peripheral eye. Her head discreetly moves to the side, analyzing the drunken girl who stumbles over to the railing and points her phone right at them.

Y/n falls into Lando’s side, his body laid against the back of the couch and making for a comfortable cushion. His arm automatically wraps around her shoulders as her hand plants itself on his upper thigh.

When her fingers brush teasingly close to his crotch, he looks down at her, astonished, “What are you doing?”

“Camera.” She says, his eyes looking up through his lashes before he sees what she had witnessed before.

He nods subtly, leaning down immediately to press his lips to hers shortly. It’s a kiss like the ones they’d had before, quick and dry, yet, this one, instead of pulling away right after, Lando lingers. His lips brush against hers in hesitation, as if he’s deciding whether or not he wants to lean back in for more. His eyes stare into hers, top lip hitting her bottom one as he dips his chin down. He’s close to taking what he wants, breath heavy against her face as he holds her to him. His hands eagerly claw at her dress, forcing her to stay where she is, where he wants her to be, close to him. Yet, he continues to hesitate.

Finally, for the first time, Y/n sees the emotion that hides behind the beautiful color of his eyes; confusion.

It’s only for a split second though. She sees it only for a millisecond as Lando feels the way she breaks down a wall he had built up long ago. When she realizes the war behind his head, he retreats.

His hands fall from her back and his head turns to the side, rejecting what he wanted to do. She watches him look for the girl that had been filming them, eyes roaming over the crowd before coming to the conclusion she was gone.

“No camera.” He says curtly, pushing her off him as he gets up from the couch and walks back to the bar.

She watches him order another drink, no doubt for himself.

Her eyes train on the drink that sits, sweating, on the table in front of them.

Lando’s drink that’s completely full.

🏎️

Liquid courage is a real thing. It’s what drives Lando to ask Y/n to join him on the dance floor. It’s what drives Y/n to pull him into her and sway her hips right against him. They’re on beat with the music, it thumping in their hearts as Lando grips her hips and forces her body closer to his. There’s a newfound sexual tension, rather than the usual tension that consisted of complicated feelings and lingering hurt over past insults. Her hands drape over his neck, head in his chest as he lays his against her shoulder, withholding groans when she circles her hips and accidentally caresses his dick.

His head’s somewhere else, terrifyingly so. He’s not fully thinking through his actions or the thoughts running through his head, the consequences they would have.

All he can think about is the feeling of Y/n’s boobs pressed up against his chest, her cleavage cum-worthy when he looks down and sees her potential spill-out.

The chorus of Love Tonight pumps through the speakers, communicating the feelings they’re too scared to say.

All I need is your love tonight.

All I need is your love tonight.

All I need is your love tonight.

All I need is your love tonight.

The music spurs him on, almost nudging his head downwards to meet her in the same spot they had been in just a few hours before.

His lips hovering over hers with the same thoughts as before, Lando’s brain goes haywire. She’s panting against him, hips relentless as they continue to circle against him. He’s drowning in her, no escape from the hold she has on him.

Fuck it, he thinks.

He smashes his lips against hers, the first kiss they’ve had that truly puts into perspective how much they want each other. Teeth clashing, his tongue wandering the walls of her mouth, Lando and Y/n fail to come up with an excuse for their actions.

No cameras, no fans, no press.

Just the two of them, dancing and kissing with one singular goal.

All I need is your love tonight.

—

“Here’s your check! Thank you for joining us tonight!” The waiter smiles, setting down the black booklet as Lando quickly swipes it from the table.

Whining, Y/n waves her card around, “Lando, when are you going to let me pay? I don’t think I’ve paid a single time we’ve been together.”

He smiles at her mischievously, “Exactly.”

She rolls her eyes, “Lando,”

He eyes her as he scribbles onto the receipt, “Y/n,”

She scoffs, sitting back in her chair with a huff.

When he’s done, he gives her a sympathetic look before reaching across the table and grabbing her hand, “How about next time we get coffee you pay for your own?”

She looks away from him with a failing suppressive smile, “That’s like five dollars, Lan! You’ve probably spent thousands in the time we’ve been together.”

He shakes his head, “Doesn’t matter.”

Her face scrunches up, “Yes, it does!”

He’s about to rebuttal, but the screeching of people close to them takes their soft eyes off the other.

A mixed group of girls and boys stop at their table, smiling brightly at the two drivers. One of them stands in the middle, phone clutched to her chest as she asks, “Can we get a picture?”

Lando looks to Y/n, searching for approval, but she’s not looking at him. He watches her face light up, smiling big at the fans in front of them as she gets up from her chair.

“Yeah, of course!” She laughs, a sound so light and delicate, it makes Lando’s heart clench in his chest. He never saw the way she acted around fans, having been isolated from them in the times they were together. However, now, as he stays put in his chair and stares on, he adores the way she adores them.

His hands clasped in his lap, Lando sits motionlessly. He can’t take his eyes off the woman who is very clearly making this group’s year. They all stare at her as if she held the moon in their hands, a present from her to them. There’s a simple sparkle in their eyes as she takes pictures with each of them, a simple sparkle that tells him just how much these kids look up to her.

He’s enamored by her, just like they are. For different reasons, though.

“Lan, are you going to get up?” She giggles, hitting his arm and reminding him of the task at hand.

The group stares at him, not the same way they had stared at her notably. He can tell they value him, they’re excited by him, but they aren’t starstruck by him.

He can live with that, though. He gets what it’s like to become speechless over something so beautiful.

After a few more clicks of the camera, the supposed couple sits back down in their seats, but Y/n doesn’t let the fans leave yet. He watches as they brighten at her starting conversation with them.

He loves this. He loves he-

“I have to say, I was so surprised when I found out you two were together.” One of the girls in the group interrupts his questionable internal dialogue. He’s relieved, however. He can’t be thinking that way.

He can’t be feeling that way.

He isn’t.

Y/n tilts her head up at them, “Yeah?”

The group nods and one of the boys speaks up, “Yeah, you two, like, hated each other.”

Everyone laughs, Y/n sitting back in her chair as Lando watches her take the statement easily, “Well, we didn’t hate each other. We did love each other, just didn’t know how to deal with it.”

Her eyes meet his and, for a moment, Lando wonders if she truly means it or if she’s signaling for him to add on.

He goes with adding on, “Yeah, definitely. Who could hate her?”

You could, she thinks. You do, she thinks.

The words sink her heart to her stomach. A reality so crushing, she hates to entertain it. When this is all over, he’ll go back to hurting her with jabs that attack her self-confidence and she’ll be left to hang on to the man he had been when they were “together”.

She doesn’t want to go back to hating him, yet she’s scared she will. She doesn’t want to go back to knowing who he truly is at his core, yet she’s scared she will.

She doesn’t want to go back to knowing what he truly thinks of her, yet she’s scared she will.

By the time she returns to the conversation, the fans are simultaneously thanking them for their time and kindness. Leaving them alone, Lando stands from the table and checks the bill once more. Y/n grabs her bag, “Why’re you checking it again?”

He looks up at her as his pointer finger lingers on the paper, “Oh, just calculating what you’ll owe me when this is all said and done. You know, when we go back to hating each other’s guts.”

He says it jokingly, she can tell he’s teasing as he laughs it off, holding her hand gently as he leads her out of the restaurant. But, none of that stops the way she exhales a deep breath, a sigh that carries so much pain, she wonders where it came from.

Lando used to mean nothing to her, or so she thought.

Had he always meant everything?

—

Silverstone is supposed to be a fun race for Lando. It’s one of his favorites on the calendar. Although, that joy is rapidly tanking as he races quickly around the track, smoke emitting from behind him and filling the air, filling his helmet. He coughs harshly as he rushes into his radio, “Was that a crash?! Who is it?! Are they okay?! Is it on fire?! There’s smoke.”

There’s panic in his voice, knowing regardless of who it is, he’ll be worried.

Andrea’s silent on the other line, heightening Lando’s concerns.

“Andrea! What’s going on? Can you hear me?”

“I can hear you.” Andrea responds immediately.

Lando rounds a corner before he speaks back, confusions drenching his tone, “Okay, so who was that? Are they okay?”

Andrea is monotone, “I don’t know if they’re okay right now.”

Lando’s heart drops, “Oh, no, who was it? Was it one of the Williams? A Ferrari? Maybe a Haas?”

Again, Andrea doesn’t answer him and Lando is about to press him further when he reaches the crash site once more. Eyes trained on the color of the car, the words “Red Bull” hit him hard.

Andrea waits for the anxiety to kick in on the other line, fully prepared to talk him down as he watches for any updates on the crash.

“IT’S A FUCKING RED BULL! IS IT Y/N? ANDREA, IS IT Y/N?” He screams, voice shaking as he begins to slow down, cars passing him by and making him lose positions.

Andrea watches the decline of Lando’s car in the race standings, head falling as he realizes no information about Y/n will come quick enough to make him get back in the race.

Calmly, he responds, “I am not sure who it is yet.”

He hears Lando groan aggressively, “Bullshit! Is it her?!”

His yelling can be heard throughout the entire wall, everyone giving side glances to Andrea over the man who is currently screaming.

“Lando, I promise you, if I knew who it was, I would tell you.” Andrea gives, voice pleading.

It’s quiet for a moment, the only thing heard being the sounds of Lando’s heavy breathing. Solemnly, Andrea watches a camera zoom in past the smoke and center the number of the car in the frame.

Y/n’s car.

Clicking the button, Andrea speaks to Lando, “I can confirm it is Y/n’s car. No knowledge of if she’s gotten out of the car or not.”

Again, there’s silence before Lando’s hand smacks his steering wheel and he lets out a noise filled with anguish, “Please, tell me when you find out.”

Torturously, Lando passes by her car at every turn, watching only for a second as people work to try and get her out of the car.

Andrea watches in horror as a group of men lift her from the car, her body limp and unmoving as they run her to the safety car.

“She’s out of the car.” He murmurs to Lando, praying the boy won’t ask more questions.

He does, “Good! That’s good! By herself or did she need aid?”

The sound of Andrea’s heavy sigh kills Lando, “No, not by herself. She needed help.”

“How much help?”

Silence.

Lando yelps, “ANDREA! TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON RIGHT FUCKING NOW! THIS IS MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND! HOW MUCH FUCKING HELP?”

“She’s not moving.”

Lando doesn’t say anything, his mind racing as his eyes water.

Finally, he speaks, “I need to retire the car.”

Andrea and the rest of the pit wall turn to look at each other with outraged stares, “What? No, Lando. The car’s perfectly fine. The pace is great, no dam-”

Lando interrupts Andrea with a broken voice, “The car’s not the reason we need to retire the car. It’s the driver. It’s me.”

Everyone can hear it in the way his voice cracks, he’s crying, knowing he can’t see through it. It’s a danger, it truly is, and that forces Andrea and the team to comply with Lando’s demands.

When he parks in the garage, he clampers out. Shoving engineers, Andrea, his dad, Zak, and anyone else who gets in his way or tries to talk to him, Lando sprints over to the medical center. On his way, he loses his mind over the possibility that she might not be there, already at the hospital, or she will be there, but just her lifeless body.

He’s still drenched in sweat, the amount doubling from his running, when he gets there. Lando pushes past the people who stand at the front, not giving them time to tell him he can’t come in. He hears them call out in opposition, but he’s already in and he just doesn’t care.

There’s no time to address the feelings swirling in his stomach that feel ten times what he had felt for any of his past girlfriends. There’s no time to talk about the way he cries over the image of her burning car or her unconscious body being pulled from it. There’s no time to talk about the fact that, last year, he wouldn’t have acted this crazed over her accident. There’s no time to talk about the fact that, now, he’s fully prepared to brawl with anyone that dares to stand in his way of finding her.

There’s no time because he’s reaching her door and flinging it open. There are nurses beside her conscious figure, tending to the scratches and cuts she has from the car’s debris. Even with the bloodied bandages, Lando smiles at her smiling at him.

When she sees him, her arm reaches out for him without thinking. He takes long strides to get to her even in the small room and, when he does, he grabs her hand.

Kneeling down on the floor beside her, he squeezes her hand, “You okay?”

She nods, “Will be.”

“That’s good enough for me.” He whispers, nurses glancing at each other before exiting the room at the intimacy flowing between the two.

They really were selling this.

Suddenly, Y/n’s eyebrows knit together as her gaze lifts to the clock on the wall, “Wait, Lan, the race is still going. Did you crash?”

He shakes his head, eyes averting from hers, “No, I retired the car.”

Her other hand reaches to turn his gaze back to hers, holding his jaw softly as he smiles at her, “Why?” She whispers.

“Because I needed to make sure you were okay.”

The truth hangs in the air painfully.

They can’t speak of what that means or what that alludes to. They can’t speak of the way he clutches onto her hand as if she’ll go away. They can’t speak of the way he raced over here, throwing important people to the side in a state of pure panic. They can’t speak of the way they stare at each other, yearn for each other in a way that goes against every rule they agreed to when this started.

All they can do is kiss each other sweetly and lie.

Lie to themselves about what will happen after it’s over; lie to themselves about how much they truly care for each other; lie to the PR teams and tell them nothing is developing between them, that it’s safe to continue this.

And, most of all, later, when Zak asks Lando why he has lip gloss smudged against his mouth, they must lie.

—

“Can you zip me up?” Y/n turns around in the car, her back to Lando as her dress hangs open slightly at the top.

He nods, fingers delicate against her skin as he glides against it, trailing the cool metal up. His hands finish on her shoulders, slowly rubbing softly as she begins to lean against him.

“Lan, that feels good.” She mumbles, words slurred from the way his fingers work the knots under her skin.

Her body lies fully on him, his mouth by her ear as they wait to get to their destination. He continues to massage her, whispering random things in her ear about errands they need to run or complete tomorrow.

With her eyes closed and relaxed state, Lando admires how safe she feels around him. Five months ago, Y/n wouldn’t have dared to let him touch her in the way he was, in the way he had over the past two months, however things had changed. For better or for worse, Lando still wasn’t sure.

The driver in the front eyes them questionably, having witnessed the change in their dynamic over their months together.

With her body still limp against him, the car stops in front of the gala’s entrance. Photographers scream beyond the door and flashes of cameras blind them even as they sit behind the glass.

Looking at her and taking her hand in his, Lando whispers, “Ready?”

She nods, “Always.”

A man opens their door, the volume erupting as Lando steps out, his hand clutching Y/n’s as she follows suit. Immediately, they’re pulled into multiple pictures. Lando’s arm finds its home around her waist with Y/n’s hand resting on his chest, a couple so perfect for each other. Their endeavor had been so incredibly successful, both their teams’ PR divisions were pleasantly surprised. Lando looks on at her, a radiant smile gracing her face as she speaks to one of the reporters on the carpet, and hates the feeling of knowing how close the end is.

In just a few weeks, they’ll be sitting down to write a small paragraph, one that will be posted to their Instagram stories as it tries to sum up the romance they thought they had.

At night, he tries to think of words to describe the moments he’s had with her and, every time, he comes up empty.

Her laughing at the journalist’s joke makes him come to the conclusion there will never be a time where he can gather syllables to explain how undeniably perfect she is.

How he got to the place of being able to address how wonderful she was? Lando had an inkling it was because of the way she made his heart pound and hands sweat.

🏎️

Lando and Y/n easily make their rounds throughout the room, greeting sponsors and potential ones with their hands clasped together. It’s obvious how charming they are together, obvious when random strangers are flipping open their checkbooks at the sight of them. Lando knows it’s all her with her thoughtful sentences and engaging demeanor.

He’s a side piece and he’s okay with that, only okay with it when he’s her side piece.

They’re in the midst of sharing a new drink they decided to try, giggles shared between them as they pass the glass between each other. They had started doing this ages ago, when they first grew closer to one another. In order to make these events go by quicker, they started trying all the items on the alcoholic menu they had never heard before. Some of his favorite memories of her had taken place when she tried something she didn’t like and almost spit it out at him.

“I think this one’s good! What’s it called again? Something sexual, right?” She asks as he takes another swig.

Lando shakes his head, grin on his face as he lifts the drink up to their eye level, “I forgot, but it must be cum something. Sure does look like cum.”

Her mouth falls open and she screeches, “Lando!”

He falls over onto the table beside them, laughing, “What? You don’t swallow?”

She joins him in laughter, “You wish you knew.”

Of fucking course, he thinks.

“Lando?” A voice from his past calls from behind them.

Lando’s heart drops, turning around and seeing Luisinha.

“Hey, Lu!” She moves to hug him, squeezing him lightly before letting her eyes drift to the girl quietly standing with him.

“Hi, Y/n.” She speaks, smiling softly as she hugs her.

Luisinha giggles before looking between the two, “I assume I need to be reintroduced to you. Before, you were Y/n, driver for Red Bull. Now, you’re Y/n, Lando’s girlfriend.”

Y/n nods, a gesture that looks to come so easy to her, Lando wishes it was real.

They hug again, chuckling at the situation before Luisinha directs her attention back to her ex-boyfriend, “It’s nice to see you, Lan! All those nights spent on the phone just aren’t the same as seeing you in person.”

Y/n loses her breath over Lu’s words, gaze drifting immediately to Lando and watching as he nods along.

“Yeah! Seriously, talking to you over the phone isn’t enough.”

His response, easy and light, crushes her.

Y/n steps in closer, “Sorry, um, you two still talk?”

Luisinha looks to Lando, intrigue in her eyes as she searches him. Lando, the boy stuck between his past and present, realizes his mistake.

He shakes his hands, “No, I mean- Yes, but it’s not like that, Y/n.”

Luisinha stays silent as she watches Y/n try to keep her composure, “When was the last time you talked?”

Lando can’t bring himself to answer, so Lu does for him, feeling for the girl in between them, “Last night.”

He watches Y/n’s face slowly process the information. It’s as if reality comes crashing down on her, a harsh moment that reminds her of what they are to each other at the end of the day.

Y/n nods, smiling at the two before beginning to walk back, “I need a minute, sorry.”

Lu watches Lando long for her, momentarily wishing Y/n would just understand how much he feels for her, and Luisinha, finally, gets a wave of closure. She understands now why they broke up. When he ended it, Lando had told her he loved her more as a friend, something that broke her, yet, now, she understands why she had been so confused. Originally, she thought he did love her, he just been too afraid to tell her the real reason for their separation, but, as she stares at the pooling in his eyes, she sees a look she never got.

A look of intense love.

She nudges his arm, “Don’t let her get away.”

He nods at her, running off in the direction Y/n had left, eyes searching for her in the sea of people.

🏎️

Lando catches sight of her gorgeous y/h/c hair off in a small hallway of the hotel. He jogs over, her back to him, and lays a soft hand over her shoulder.

She stiffens, refusing to turn around and meet his eyes. However, his voice coaxes her, “Y/n, look at me.”

As much as she tries not to, she does and it breaks her further.

Her watery eyes and lost head tilt are a stab to Lando’s heart, her choked up voice speaking, “So, you were talking to her the entire time we were doing this?”

He’s at a loss, knowing that’s the perfect truth, yet knowing it isn’t fully, “Yes, but it doesn’t mean what you think it means.”

Her body jerks away from him and the anger he was usually greeted with returns, “Oh?! Then, what does it mean, Lando?! Because it looks like I meant fucking nothing to you! I know it isn’t in my head! I know what’s happened between us isn’t just some people getting over the hatred they had for each other! I thought you felt that way too!”

“I do!” He yells back, frustration at her obliviousness getting to him.

Tears leak down her face, “Then, why did you spend the entirety of this talking to your ex! Why’d you agree to this if you still love your ex?!”

Lando groans, “I don’t love my ex! I don’t love Lu! I love you!”

Her tears fall harder, “Do you? How could someone love another person they used to loathe?!”

Lando shakes his head, overwhelmed at what’s going on in his brain, “It just happened, Y/n! You think I thought this would happen?! No, I didn’t!”

Y/n resigns, quiet taking over other than their heavy breathing, “I don’t believe you.”

His annoyance takes over, “Well, then I don’t know what to tell you.”

I want you to tell me why you love me, she thinks. I want to know where your hate turned to love, she thinks.

Those things go unsaid.

Instead, she huffs, “I think this has gotten too out of hand. I think we need to end this arrangement early.”

She sees the unmistakable sadness etched into his face, “How early?”

“Like, tonight.” She whispers, protecting herself from the world of hurt that would be being loved by him. She isn’t Luisinha, she isn’t a model or breathtaking woman. She’s a girl who fell in love with a “boy’s” sport, a girl who has seen the flaws within herself and tried, desperately, to change them, rewrite them. She never does, although. She always comes out the same on the other side.

The truth catches up with her and images of the beautiful women Lando has had in his bed fill her mind. How does she know this isn’t some elaborate prank to get her vulnerable and then humiliate her out of the resentment he holds against her and the situation she got him in?

Lando musters up some sort of guard, distaste returning after its five month long hiatus, “Fine. I’ll let McLaren know. This works anyway. You served your purpose, got my reputation back to where it was before you came in and fucking destroyed it. You ruin everything, you know that, Y/n?”

She nods, cries intensifying at what she had been afraid of: his hatred for her returning after getting to know a side of him so tender.

“Got it, Lando.” She whispers, slinking past him and out of the building.

He watches her walk away, confused at how he had confessed his love for her and ended it by telling her she was destructive.

She isn’t. How could he say that?

How could he tell the one woman who had built him up that she had tore him down? How could he let frustrated anger replace the love he had for her?

How could he let her get away?

UPDATE: i posted part 2! Find it here.

A/N: TUMBLR GLITCHED OUT AND WAS CRACKING DOWN AT HOW LONG THIS WAS SO I WILL MAKE A PART TWO WITH A HAPPY ENDING I PROMISE

[henneseyhoe]

Velcro.

Jude Bellingham x BLACK!FEM!Reader

WARNINGS: SMAU, Rude(ish) comments, A bit smutty at the end but nun too serious, Jude being a velcro boyfriend, basketball player!Reader, Touch me not!Reader, Nonchalant(ish)!Reader, Clinginess, fluffy, reader is a bit of a tomboy (but it’s not really implied ig??), Readers sexual preference is questioned a few times lmao.

✮✮✮✮

Ahh, a tale as old as (you*) time if you ask me! It seemed that since you were little, no one could read the sign you mentally placed on your forehead that said DO NOT TOUCH. that included Jude.

100% use to be time limit on how long he can hug you when you two first started dating and he thought he was slick going over a few seconds just to see if you’d notice. 😭

He respects you not wanting to be touched so often but sometimes he genuinely does forget and slips up.

Sometimes you let him get away with it, other times you smack his hand away like you’d do a naughty child.

He’s so touchy that sometimes you don’t even notice until he moves.

“Jude…”

“Hm?” He hums, eyes on the computer screen resting on your stomach that was playing princess and the frog.

“Jude” You call even firmer than before.

“Yes, baby?”

“Your hand, dude…”

His eyes dart to the suspecting hand, his entire palm softly groping your boob under your shirt as if the hand was supposed to be there.

“Oh! Sorry-“

He waits till you’re asleep to cuddle you when you two are finally together again and on break; you wake up with a full grown man nearly on top of you.

You once told him to start asking for kisses instead of just kissing you and you ended up answering more than ten questions in just one evening.

He doesn’t even get jealous of you interacting with other men that may be interested in you because you kinda hate everybody??..💀

He’s also leaving multiple hickeys on your neck so they can see just in case but you had to immediately stop him from doing that before a coach or a teammate saw and bullies you for it.

Hiding the relationship from the public was difficult enough but he quite literally acted like you two were conjoined at the hip at times.

When you soft launched you two’s relationship your friends were in such shock that you even let a man get close enough to you to speak without him being pepper sprayed.

✮✮✮✮

ynusername

Liked by jkeey4 and 567,086 others

do not disturb.

ᴠɪᴇᴡ ᴀʟʟ 2,758 ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ

-

YBSF GIRL WHAAAAT???

❤︎ ʙʏ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ

YBSF2 YOU WIT YO WHOOO??

ynusername You know who i’m with! 😹

USER1 AHHHHHHHHH

❤︎ ʙʏ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ

USER2 WON A RING HER ROOKIE YEAR AND GOT A MAN??? IKTRRR

❤︎ ʙʏ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ

USER3 could have sworn she liked girls—

USER4 Y/N plays basketball so good she got ppl thinking she a lesbian wow

USER5 Lesbian allegations in her first year of playing in the WNBA omg we made it yall!!

USER6 Girl we know who that is

USER7 right, she covering his face like we blind???

ynusername Never tried to hide him lol

USER8 Oh so this is why we aren’t winning any games lol…

USER9 Lost to the fuckin SPARKS bro…

USER10 Is it really that deep?

USER9 YES BITCH!

USER11 I KNOW THAT AINT MY MANNNN

ynusername your whom?

USER12 GAG HER MOTHER LMAO

USER13 NOOOO GET OFF OF HERRR

USER14 IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE US NOT HIM

judebellingham ???????

judebellingham 🤍👩🏾‍🤝‍👨🏽

❤︎ ʙʏ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ

judebellingham I live to breathe the same air as you.

❤︎ ʙʏ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ

USER15 okay tone it down a little jude-

USER16 He’s so- 😭😭😭

USER17 I have a hunch that she’s gonna eat him and use his football talent to gain powers

ynusername My plans have been foiled

USER18 a sports crossover i never expected to see ngl????

USER19 right? 😭

USER20 It’s a pr stunt guys lol

✮✮✮✮

There’s a good bit of people that still don’t think you two are actually together, exhibit A:

He surprisingly ignores all of these comments cause he knows what’s real.(you show em jude!)

Everybody can just tell he bagged you by being absolutely delusional and they were correct.

All those story likes, comments and convincing you that he was cool finally paid off!

Also he was very much so one of those “omg you’re so smallll” type of flirts 💀 and it took you every bone in your body not to kick the back of his knees in.

Now you probably wouldn’t have won that fight but while he was down on the floor you’d have enough time to run for your life.

He’s definitely that boyfriend that walks with his hand in your back pocket.

Has told you multiple times before that not being with you feels like he’s having withdrawals. 😭

Poor baby HATES when you tour but he still roots for you, posting pictures of your team on his story and all. 😖

Sharing location? He has yours on every single device and watches it occasionally when you’re traveling lmfao.

✮

✮

You wouldn’t be surprised if he secretly has a burner account where he claps back at people who come for your game performance.

It wouldnt be the first time he’s said something to critics. 🧍🏽‍♀️

If he can’t make it to a game then best believe he’s watching it on his phone and jumping up every time you get a point of your own. 😭 (we love a supportive wag)

He definitely has one of your jerseys and you absolutely have his.

Because you didn’t like being touched so often, naturally your favorite sexual position was riding. (it was also a great leg workout) You loved that you could be in control of him and how he touched you. If he got too handsy, you weren’t a stranger to pinning his arms down to your mattress and he would practically be too weak to protest against it anyway.

When you did allow him to touch you how he wanted, his favorite position was sideways spooning. A position where he could hold you as much as he wanted, keep you still within his arms and still fuck your brains out while getting his fix of touching you without limit. He basically went feral anytime it happened, the first time he was surprised he could cum that much, all the evidence laid across the dimples of your back (i’m sorry i couldn’t help myself LMAO)

By the time you two were together for over a year, Jude could just feel you softening up for him a little more day by day and he just couldn’t wait till you were as touchy as he was

✮✮✮✮

💌~ I hope yall like this, i wrote it along with this lewis fic that’s kinda the same but also not? 💀 yall will see it soon lmfao

also, give Jude his WNBA gf(me) NOW!! we got league babies to make frl

[zootopiathingz]

If you really think about it, the ship where Alastor would be involved in that would most likely be canon so far would be Charlastor.

I mean, he despises Lucifer and sees Vox as not worth his time, so he's not gonna be throwing himself all over them anytime soon. Nearly everyone he interacts with besides the three women he's friends with, he's either indifferent, respectable or hostile to, but towards Charlie? This man has allowed her to touch him without permission, stated multiple times that he has faith in her beliefs and even handed her his source of power. Twice.

I'm aware he's doing all this with some underlying motive, but you can't deny he won't do all this for just anyone. I really can't imagine him all comfortably curled up in Angel's bed or getting handsy with Lucifer (He wipes his hands after touching him, man really doesn't like him at all). I support all ships with Alastor but if we're looking at this at a canon perspective, Alastor interacts with Charlie the most and will continue to interact with her as the show goes on, it's more possible to happen in a sense with Alastor.

Plus with all the romantic cues the show has (Unintentionally?) given so far, with the part where both Charlie and Alastor are laying on the heart shaped pillow but Charlie falls off the bed while Alastor remains on top off it, it seems that there could be a very small possibility that there might be an unrequited crush on Alastor's part.

Yeah, it's a stretch, but hey, he didn't have to lay in that bed. He could have stayed standing, looming over Charlie to show that he might be helping her but he still sees himself as above her and in control of the situation. But! Someone still animated him on that bed! They still animated him on that heart shaped pillow right beside Charlie! They didn't have to, but they still did and my minds still reeling after that fact.

No because you’re absolutely correct here.

Out of any of the characters in the series for Alastor to end up with, if he were to have a romantic subplot of any kind, it would be Charlie. They have the most potential together as a pairing and there have been so many little hints and visual cues that I’m honestly shocked that a romance plot isn’t where their relationship is going.

I genuinely cannot see Alastor ever engaging in anything romantic or physical with Vox or Lucifer in any way. And whenever I say that people like to excuse me of hating gay ships (which I clearly don’t. I am queer, and I love seeing queer ships that actually make sense and have good chemistry, and not just because they’re gay). It’s because he canonly hates men and is much kinder towards women—except for Vaggie lol. Yes, ship Alastor with whoever you want. It’s not my place to tell you if your ship is bad or not. I honestly don’t care because it’s your opinion and as long as you’re having fun with it, that’s all that matters!

But like anon is saying here, if we’re looking at it from a canon viewpoint, let’s think about it. Again, Alastor clearly doesn’t like men and can’t even be bothered to shake Lucifer’s hand without being disgusted. There have been three women who could be potential love interests. First is Mimzy, which I can see there may have been some flirtation here and there in the past, or even an unrequited crush on her part. But with her basically using him to get her out of trouble all the time, I can’t see them going beyond their on-and-off friendship. Then there’s Rosie, who he’s obviously very comfortable around and lets her touch and grab him as she pleases—which he wouldn’t let slide with any male characters in the show. And the Radiorose ship is cute I admit, but to me they’re a pair of gossip buddies who would maybe pretend to be in a relationship if needed, but otherwise their feelings don’t go any further than platonic.

And so that leaves us with Charlie. When I first watched the pilot I absolutely assumed they were going to have some kind of slow burn, not only because the idea of the princess of Hell and this feared Radio Demon falling for each other is so intriguing, but generally just the way they acted with each other. In like a span of eight minutes they were happily dancing together, with Alastor calling her one of a kind, tossing her around and making improvements to her dream hotel.

You can imagine how surprised I was when I found out they weren’t canon and weren’t going to be in the actual show. Like, I was legit going “🤨🤨🤨” and this was before I was even in the fandom lmao

And thank you so much for mentioning that scene in her bedroom because…

What is this. What do you mean the mfs making this show drew out this scene, carefully looked at every detail for the final product, and went “yup👍” if there wasn’t supposed to be something more going on here???

Like seriously if you’ve never watched this episode and you saw these two frames, what exactly would you assume is going on here? Be honest with me

But ya know, charlastor “isn’t canon” (so they say🙄) so the animators here were def trolling us lol

[lover-of-mine]

https://www.tumblr.com/lover-of-mine/754848919767465984/lady-whistledown-i-will-say-now-to-appease-your

I kinda have to laugh at the “review bomb his new movie” because it’s not really his movie lmao. Is he in it ? Yes. But is it *his*? No lol. He’s got like two scenes? In it ? He’s not a main character or anything. Like review bombing it will only really hurt the other actors who most definitely have nothing to do with 911 and the bt fans obsessions 💀

Also I’m confused. Because they keep screaming how Edie’s not gay because Ryan said heterosexual so…. How is he trying to steal the story ? By their own logic. And I really have to laugh at how much power the bt shippers think Ryan has(while also saying he’s a nobody with no connections at the same time 💀😂) because they say he’s forcing the entire cast to be his friend for good PR, and now he’s going against Tim, Oliver, and Lou to single handedly steal the entire show for his own nefarious purposes. Like does his power know no limits 😂😂 why is he wasting it on the acting world.

Boycotting family feud. Like…ok? I guarantee no one will even notice lmao. A common issue with fandom is they think they are larger than they are in comparison to the GA. Family feud has its own fanbase. And its own GA. Despite how much they try and bluster their way about it, the BT shippers are already an even smaller portion of the fandom then the general fandom of 911 is, Nevermind even compared to another shows. Them boycotting family feud would essentially be like… throwing a sewing needle at a concrete reenforced steel bar brick wall. Inconsequential and pointless.

As for the over all vibes of their plan it still boils down to “Let’s try and cyber bully the poc actor into quitting because he exists in an attempt to get our favorite white man to take his job”

Dude, I have no notes oskaoskaosaos the thing with Ryan's movie, is that from what I've seen he's just a random character, and the pr department of the movie is using the fact that Ryan has a lot of pull with part of the audience, being in a major procedural that's been talked about A LOT lately, so he's a recognizable pretty face to put on interviews and get people to watch the movie because it is a 90 minutes comedy movie. How do you successfully boycott a 90 minutes comedy movie? And Family Feud is it's own mess, like, they have their own audience, the people who will watch the 911 episode are not relevant enough for their numbers for it to matter if people don't watch it. They regular audience will watch it anyway. And if they don't have to worry because Eddie is straight and Ryan said Eddie is heterosexual, then why can't you just leave him alone? Seriously, I think they don't understand how the world works.

[kteezy997]

The Other Man - Part Nine//t.c.

warnings: cursing, toxic ex behavior, mention of physical violence, mention of bruises and blood, gun violence ((mature 18+ readers only))

You didn't hear from Timmy for a couple of days. It felt like deja vu from the game night with Billy. Neither event had been your fault or Timmy's, but both of them had separated you.

You had returned to work and tried to focus on that, but Billy hadn't stopped trying to contact you. You completely ignored him, but he still didn't let up. You blocked his number and hoped that would be the ending of Billy's existence in your life. You did worry that he might find you or show up at the house. You didn't know what would happen if that occurred. You didn't know what he wanted to do or what he was capable of.

"y/n, you've got a phone call." your coworker called out to you.

"Oh," you said, terrified that it might be your ex-husband on the line, "is it a man?"

"No, it's some lady."

"Okay?" you took the work phone from them and put it to your ear, wondering who it could be. "Hello?"

"Y/n? This is Amelia."

"Amelia? Why are you calling my workplace?"

"I didn't have your cell number or any other way to contact you, sorry. I just...wanted to know if we could talk?"

You sat down at a desk, prepared to hear anything that this woman had to say. This conversation could alter your entire life. There was a possibility that you'd be a stepmother for the rest of your life. "Sure." you said.

"Oh, great." her voice sounded sad, but she came across as genuine, " I just wanna start out by saying that I'm so sorry for the other night: intruding like I did. Timmy was right, he made no promises to me, he never showed any romantic interest in me. It was all on my end. I feel so stupid about it all now."

"I understand. You seemed to really care for him. Our feelings can make us do some crazy things." you responded. You wanted to come out and say something along the lines of 'Bitch are you really pregnant? Is it even Timmy's?' But you didn't want to press the issue. You decided to let her give you information at her own pace so she wouldn't hold anything back.

"Yeah, it really does. About that: I have to admit something awful to you."

Your heart sank. She could say anything in the world, and it had the power to determine what your future would look like. You were so afraid that she would take Timmy away from you, whether he was willing or not.

"What is it?" you asked her, nearly trembling.

You heard her gulp through the phone. It was obvious that she was nervous. "I lied about the pregnancy. The ultrasound I showed Timothee was a copy of my sister's. She's having a baby, I'm not."

"Are you fucking crazy?" you blurted out, feeling the blood pumping through your veins. You didn't feel any relief, not yet.

"Yes, in that moment, I was." she admitted, "It doesn't make it right, but I was in love with him. I was out of my mind in love and all I could think about was getting him to love me back. I thought that if I told him I was going to have his baby, he'd want to be with me."

You sighed. This woman was mad. But that is what love can do to people. They can act out in ways that they normally would not. Hell, love had made you cheat on your husband. Perhaps Amelia suffered from this particular madness. She wasn't herself when she told her lie. Oh, your poor Timmy.

"Anyway, um, I won't go on about that anymore. I won't waste your time any longer than needed. So, Timmy has gone to talk to the PR teams. I told him we can just cancel the whole contract. I told him everything and he wants nothing to do with me, and I definitely don't blame him. So, I'm giving it all up, the whole fake relationship. I think he's in love with you anyways."

"Okay. Thank you for calling me."

"Yeah, of course. I just wanted you to know the truth. And I want Timmy to be happy. I'm such a bad person for what I just put him through." Amelia's voice broke.

"Hey, Amelia, you're not a bad person." You couldn't help but empathize with her. You yourself were no saint. Amelia deserved the hurt she was feeling, and she deserved to lose the friendship she had with Timmy, but she wasn't evil, you could tell. "Just...be better. Learn from your mistakes. And take care of yourself, okay?"

She sniffled, "Yeah, thank you, y/n. I can see why he loves you. Goodbye."

"Bye Amelia."

After work, you called Timmy, and it rang several times before it went to voicemail. You figured he was busy, so you left him a voicemail message, telling him to call you as soon as he could and that you missed him.

A couple of hours went by without any word from Timmy. You called him again, and still no answer. You started to worry. Yes, you wanted him to have space, but it still wasn't like him to not answer you after about an hour or so. Two days had gone by since you'd seen him and you now knew the truth about the Amelia situation, so you thought maybe he was ready to let you in.

You decided to go to his place. There was no answer when you knocked. Now you were scared. Did something happen? Did he pick up and leave for some reason? Was your love story over?

Your phone rang and you felt so incredibly relieved seeing Timmy's name flashing on the caller ID.

"Timmy?!" you answered, "Are you okay, baby?"

"Oh hey, baby." you knew that voice, and it was not the voice of the man you loved.

"Billy, what the fuck have you done to him?!"

"Oh, don't worry hon, your fuck buddy is just fine. A little beat up, but nothing too bad. His pretty little face might heal up okay." Billy's voice was chillingly calm when he talked about the harm he'd done.

"God damn it, tell me where the fuck you are right now, asshole!"

"Oh sweetheart, I'm at our happy home. Ya know, the place where you and your boyfriend committed adultery."

"Fuck!" you ran to your car, not even bothering with the seatbelt and sped off to your house. You called the police and told them there was an intruder in your home, and he had your boyfriend as a hostage.

"Timmy!" you yelled as you entered the house, not waiting for the police to get there. You had no idea what kind of shape he was really in, so you had to act fast before it was potentially too late.

"Upstairs, y/n." called out Billy.

You wanted to kill him.

You ran upstairs, finding them in your bedroom. Timmy was bound to a chair, duct tape covering his mouth. You could see bruises on his face and his nose was bleeding. "Billy you son of a bitch!" You could smell some strong body odor and alcohol. There was an empty bottle of whiskey on the floor. You could tell that Billy had been on a bender and hadn't showered or stopped drinking for awhile.

"Pretty talk for a whore." he spat the hateful words at you.

It was then that you noticed the gun in his hand. "Shit, Billy, don't do anything you're going to seriously regret. You've bitched me out, you beat him up, so just stop it there. You've gotten your revenge. No need to take it any further." you trembled, tears filling your eyes. You did your best to maintain a soothing voice in an attempt to calm Billy down.

"No, no. You two have sinned. And for that, you should die!" he screamed, breathing heavily.

The cops are coming, you kept thinking to yourself. The cops are coming. Just keep him talking. Just a little longer.

You looked over at Timmy, he was quiet, but groaning softly and it was muffled through the duct tape. Your heart broke seeing him worn down and completely defenseless. What had Billy put him through? And for how long?

Billy then raised the gun, pointing it straight at Timmy.

Timmy clenched his eyes shut.

You cried, "Billy! No! Please don't!"

"Yeah?" he cocked the gun, not moving, "And why not?"

"Billy, it was wrong: what we did." you tried to keep calm, but it didn't really work, your heart was racing, and tears were running down your face. "I know it was. And I'm sorry. But this...this isn't worth it. Timmy is innocent in this. It was all me. I seduced him, I... manipulated him. Please, let him go." You were desperate to keep Timmy alive.

Billy looked at you, and slowly, he started lowering the gun.

"Police!" a voice called, as you heard the front door being knocked down.

"You dumb fucking bitch." Billy's eyes turned lethal as he pointed the gun at you. You saw his finger pull the trigger. Timmy screamed from behind the tape. You dived to the floor, screaming and hearing the gun go off. Once on the floor, you kicked Billy's feet from underneath him, and he fell to the floor. The gun dropped to the floor as well.

The cops came in yelling and restraining Billy. You regained your breath as they took him away in handcuffs and got up frantically to get Timmy freed from his constraints. You ripped the tape off of his mouth.

"Are you alright?!" he asked you, panting, as you untied his hands.

"Yes, I'm good." you quickly freed his ankles, and moved up to hold his face in your hands. "What about you?"

"I've been better, but I'll be okay. I love you." he said, kissing you hard, pulling you into his arms.

"I love you too." you said in between kisses, wrapping your arms around him, feeling most grateful that you were able to do so.

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss @chalametbich

[bokunosoul]

Monster in paris

Donquixote Doflamingo x Showgirl! Reader

NSFW

Warnings : Pr-stitution, s-x, c-nnilingus, f-replay, s-xual stuff

A night in 1920 in the capital of france in paris is an night where you can find your desires. In dark alleyways, bars, parks and by the moonlit night, especially the so called Moulin Rouge.

The night was busy as always, a bunch of high class men in suits surrounded with women wearing skimpy clothing pouring wine on their glasses and giggling.

They all turned their gaze on you, eyes wide open and jaw on the floor and the men in suits shooed away the women.

"You indeed is looking fine as the wine i'm drinking tonight."

"If your thinking that i would offer to sell myself to you, i would not, boys."

Uninterested you turned away back at them and walked away. Ugh, this men looked disgusting. The men that i slept last month was more hot and rich, not old and saggy.

Heading off to your personal dressing room, you sighed and plopped yourself into your chair facing the mirror.

You stand up and started changing onto your costume. It was a red feathery bra, bottoms, a heavy red feather headpiece and of course the pair nude heels.

"Well well, as if it's the one and only Y/N, what does it feels like to be at the bottom?"

Sara snorted and pinched my cheeks. I rolled my eyes and pushed her away in annoyance.

"I'm going to tell you this since were 'friends'."

She said while putting on her lipstick infront of the mirror.

"Then get straight to the point."

"Still prickly as always, anyways, A mafia boss, will come to our show tonight and will pick a dancer to entertain him privately, I heard it's the spanish mafia boss, Donquixote Doflamingo."

She said estatic and squealing.

"And i am confident that it will be me the one and only."

You ignore her and just decided to go on applying your makeup. You have no interest in such things but when it involves money, that's when.

"Not interested huh?, well that's good. Well then looser, toodles."

That guy huh, i heard that man is no good. Killing people who betrayed him, dealing drugs all over europe. The Donquixote family was notorious and most wanted mafia of all. Talk about being the most powerful dangerous man in Spain.

Well it's an old man i think, and that women in this place are going after him because of his fortune.

You shrugged it off, finishing your makeup and hair and went off to stage in line with the dancers.

As the curtain rises, the lights pointed at us, the jazz music played by the orchestra the crowd went crazy, whistling, hooting and shouting.

You smiled confidently and started swaying your hips and body to the beat. Legs kicking up and down back and forth and tumbling from left to right.

You suddenly felt a pair of eyes staring over in the crowd. You stare into the front row of seats. There a man in pink feathery coat, sunglasses and a suit stares into you with interest.

'Who the hell wears sunglasses in the night?'

Like any normal dancer would do you smiled at him and shrugged it off and continued dancing. As the final position in the stage come, you set foot in the middle of the stage.

The crowd applaused as the curtain goes down and the dancers dispersed.

You let out a sigh of relief and went to your dressing room to change into a a flapper dress. Your ears perked up as you heard a knock on the door.

"Y/N, the boss said someone wants to meet you at the bar area, come quickly."

"Yes, i will be right there in a moment."

After you finished touching up and changing, you went ahead to the bar. You sat into the bar stool and ordered an blue gin.

Someone sat beside you as you drink. You turned your head to look at who it was.

"Oh, is it you who requested my audience?" you said. Looking at the man with the large pink feather coat you smiled at earlier.

"Fufufufu, yes i am." the man said in a peculiar tone whilst looking at you.

"Well, my prices are very high." you teased the man with the shades, slowly travelling up your dainty hands through his chest. He seemed good looking and it would be such a waste to let the money go down the drain.

"Name it. "

"Hmmmmm, well then here are my rates, Making out with me is 200 francs, showing you my body is 300 francs, watching you while touching myself is 800 francs, 900 for a blowjob, touching my body will cost 1000 francs, and hearing me moan will be 1400 francs."

He stayed quiet, admiring your face. Smiling you took a sip of your drink . 'This man is broke, this deal will get nowhere'.

"If your just wasting my time, then goodb---." you turned your back against the man.

"50,000 francs, if you can entertain me."

You eyes widdened in shock, as you hear the amount of money he is offering. The man pulled a wad of cash out of his suit and waved it.

50,000 FRANCS!? you can buy yourself an house with that and never work again, i can also pay my debt in this hell hole!

As you were about to snatch the wad of cash in his arms you tripped and fell into his chest.

"What a naughty girl you are fufufufu, i'll give you the money later after."

You crossed your arms and look at the man up and down. Well, for starters atleast he looks decent and hot.

"Then follow me."

Turning back you started walking to lead him into your room. The man stands up followed into my room. Come to think of it, i haven't know this mans name yet.

"What is your name Mr.?"

You asked as you are busy fumbling into your keys for your chambers.

"Doflamingo, Donquixote Doflamingo."

Your eyes widened as you heard the name.

"Hah, what a joke."

He just laughed again in that peculiar manner and went towards the room with you. With the influence of alcohol your mind was started to become hazy.

You pushed him off lazily at the side of your bed and started to take off your clothing. Your dress fell into the floor which revealed the red lingerie you are wearing.

Cupping his face and staring at his eyes you sat comfortably at his lap. Your and the mans tongue fight with each other in delight and his hands roaming around your body.

"HEY!"

Startled you yelled as he ripped your bra revealing your plump breast and perked up nipples.

"Fufufufufufufu excited already darling?"

He said and started to lick your chest onto your breasts. Fuck, this man is not to be underestimated.

He slammed you into the bed and ripped your panties. Your breath hitches as he stares into your eyes whilst having those cocky grin of his.

"It's unfair, i'm the only one who's naked." you pouted at him and rolled your eyes.

Without a response, he lifted up your leg onto his shoulder and started kissing your feet onto your thighs.

"FUCK!~."

You cursed as he shoved his slender fingers onto my entrance mercilessly.

Meanwhile you just looked away, you can't believe that this was happening. It was the very first time you felt excited doing something like this.

"Does that feel good?"

You just blushed and covered your embarassed and nodded.

Doflamingo smirked as your faces become closer and our bodies pressed together heatedly against the bed, as our lips pressed together and our tongues battle in dominance, only the strong taste of rum lingers into your mouth and one of his slender fingers teased your clit, making you hum in delight.

"Ohhhh-yes! "

He suddenly grabbed your waist and rammed it straight to his manhood, you screamed in shock. This man was so big, and you can't really fit inside him. It's been 6 months since you last have sex , so pain would be expected.

Tears started to run down your eyes as you looked away at him and burrying your nails in his muscular back.

"Your so fucking tight. "

He panted, still holding your waist, then caressing it slowly. It stayed like that for a few seconds then, it was replaced by an addicting sensation of pleasure.

"Ohhhhhhh! hah~. "

You cried out as his cock is fully inside you, making you feel so full. He chuckles and licks your earlobe, making you shudder.

"So, tell me who do you belong to? Slut. "

"I-i don't belong to no one. "

"Are you sure? "

You feel him grin and caressed your breasts and pinched your hardened nipples.

"Hmmmm, what about now?"

He said and thrusted his length inside your needy cunt. This man, he's so fucking good. You feel ashamed making those lewd faces infront of him and giving in.

"Oh~sir! I fucking like that. "

"Fufufu, say that again darling. "

"I fuckin' love your cock, please...."

You fell down onto your knees and kneeled. Doflamingo smirked and cupped your cheeks before pulling your hair back.

"Then suck. "

You lovingly obliged to his requests and started pumping his length back and fourth, giving licks there and then and sucking on his balls.

This man was addicting, or maybe this was just the alcohol that got you crazy. But this was the first time in years you got so excited.

He kept whispering dirty things in your ear while thrusting his cock inside you.

"Ah!!!!! I think i'm going to-."

"Not yet. "

The door swung open revealing Sara, her eyes widened in shock while you just turned to look at her with a flushed lewd face.

"W-what the fuck?!? "

She cursed, as she saw your naked body curled up against the man he's targetting.

"Fuck. i did not get to come. " you said annoyed, your arms still wrapped around his neck.

"Fufufufu, easy there y/n, we still got plenty of time left. "

Doflamingo said and slapped your butt and laughed. Sara, was still in shock standing there like a deer in headlights.

"Do you want to join? "

You asked then chuckled kissing your beloved client----Doflamingo. She bit her lip and slammed the door walking away.

"Fufufufu, what do you say, be mine or stay here? "

"Well, i am a very very expensive woman, Doffy. But i think i would give you a chance. "

You stood up and walked towards the window overlooking the eiffel tower, he kissed your shoulder and said.

"If that what's make you happy, my queen. "

NOT SO FUN FACT : Showgirls date back to the late 1800s in Parisian music halls and cabarets such as the Moulin Rouge, Le Lido, and the Folies Bergère. The trafficking of showgirls for the purposes of prostitution was the subject of a salacious novel by the nineteenth-century French author Ludovic Halévy.

[urstruly-ghst]

pre-nrc deuce spade + goody-two-shoes! reader

note : as a blowout for the last day of the year, reintroducing deuce spade pre-nrc and his s/o. i need to share my brainrot over this man (i watched grease so my mind went brrr) also might make some vil hcs, i have smth so good in mind swear cw : swear words, mentions of fighting, and delinquent deuce

deuce spade 

Delinquent, fight maker, arrogant bitch– those were the words permanently plastered above his head; none can understand the appeal you see in him. Deuce is always rough in everything he handles; his magic is always powerful and often overwhelming. The way he holds anything ways seems to be broken with his hands, and, of course, his sharp tongue that brought many people to cry. Hell, his stomach can handle heaps of alcohol and packs of snacks. How can one not cower?

You were different from him; you held a good reputation in your town and school and had this composed life. You’re a good student, too good and too sweet. You were like cotton candy personified. News of you even dating the near-dropout, delinquent, and asshole Deuce Spade was compared to blasphemy. 

But that’s only what they see, the superficial shit-faced Deuce, not the sweetest guy you’ve known. While Deuce is an arrogant delinquent, he is tamer than before. You knew what went behind those doors of his somewhat messy home. Deuce was not the best lover and was an even shittier man, but that didn’t stop him from trying. Admittedly, you both started on the wrong foot, having different impressions of each other. But as time passed, you just fell deeper and felt like the cliche character falling for the bad boy of the town. 

Who are you to deny his advances when you notice his reluctant following of your strict orders and demands to stop his street fighting? Or when he went and aced an exam because you said you’d say “yes” to one date? Deuce tried and still would keep trying to be the best version for both his home and you (the new addition to it– you just don’t it yet).

…

If there’s one sight you hate, Deuce and his foul mouth getting bruised from fights he may or may not have started, it wasn’t pleasant, nor was it the thing you want to greet your significant other. Even if he tries to reason with you, you frown, and he shuts up, knowing saying more dampens your mood.

“Deuce.” Your voice, filled with a warning tone and a frown to accompany it as you enter the clinic, makes Deuce shrink in your gaze. He never liked that look. He hated letting you down. Yet, his fists ached to punch that fucker in the face, so a fight had to be done.

You knew that look. While Deuce cowers and shrinks at your stern gaze, he never fails to show his emotions by grumbling and flexing his fists. Sighing, you crouched down and held his cheek, bruised as usual. Slowly looking at you, you saw his eyes glitter with adoration and pride. That damned pride over his fight landed him in the clinic for the third time this month.

“That must hurt. Deuce, are you okay?”

“‘Course. Tough as nails, babe. Not that serious, ya know? Fucker was messing around with your locker, had to give a lesson.” Deuce said with a smirk as if reveling in the violence he did for your sake.

 Oh, by the Great Seven, if he keeps that smirk up, you might allow that violence to seep in.

“Well, I appreciate that, Deuce. But, if you fight someone again, the guidance counselor can–”

“Awe, I know that. I’ll get another boring three-week seminar about how violence is this; violence is that. Ever such a goody two shoes, babe.” You flared up and smacked him in the face. Not a slap that would hurt him more, but to make him know you don’t like his teasing in a situation like this. Deuce just laughed. He leaned in and kissed you gently.

Why are his lips soft when he is a ragged person who got out of a fight?!

Pulling away from the kiss, Deuce laughed at how you still chased his lips afterward. You’re cute and loving; when did he get that lucky?

“Say, since I kind of broke my promise not to hurt anyone, what if I treat you some treats and a ride on my bike? C’mon, know you like it.” You question where your dignity has gone. You usually hold pretenses and be the level-headed one in this relationship, but a simple invite of danger pulls you in, and you’re now atop his bike.

You may have liked him a bit too much. Good thing he wanted you too– much more than you think.

[em-mermaid]

Let’s Prank Your Boyfriend

(read on AO3 here)

It’s time.

The button makes a satisfying click and a joyful tune fills the air. He reaches out to catch his prize, letting diamonds fall to the ground around him. And finally, in his hands is a large purple crown, fit for a king.

Doc sweeps his thumb along the jewels delicately embedded in the golden rim of the crown and takes a moment to admire how the purple velvet compliments the green of his fur. This will do nicely, he thinks.

The crown of Grian’s desires. A way to get back at that pesky bird. It’s time to put his plan into action.

He reaches up and places the crown atop his head. It fits perfectly between his horns, almost as if it was made for him.

He looks around at the empty streets of the shopping district. The early morning sun glints off the nearby windows, but no hermits are inside. The weight of the crown makes him feel powerful. He needs someone to celebrate this victory with him. He needs to show off this prize.

Mumbo’s best friend, huh? It was almost too easy.

Pesky bird is in for a surprise.

A quick flight later and he’s standing outside Mumbo’s vault door. It’s dark, imposing, even in the bright morning light. Creeping vines seem to crawl towards him, simultaneously urging him closer and warning him away. Sculk sensors click and chitter at his approach.

He raises a hand to knock but the door springs into life before he can. Pistons shift and clank loudly and the door opens with grandeur as a slime block launches him into the doorway to land face to face with a startled Mumbo.

He’s wearing his standard suit and tie, perfectly tailored and freshly pressed. The large black wings on his back shift and shimmer when he steps into the sunlight. His tail flicks back and forth as purple eyes glow with an untold power. It takes Doc’s breath away.

“Oh, hey dude! What’s up?” Mumbo greets with an endearingly awkward wave.

“Good morning,” Doc greets with a smile. He sees the moment Mumbo notices the crown atop his head and watches as Mumbo’s jaw drops open.

Doc smiles and puffs out his chest. Purple eyes flick downward before quickly averting. A pink tinge appears in Mumbo’s cheeks.

“Do you like my crown?”

Mumbo shuffles in place and smiles up at him. “It looks great!” He rubs at the back of his neck. “I just didn’t think anyone would have one yet.”

A grin grows on Doc’s face and he chuckles. “Don’t doubt the power of the Goat!” He steps forward, close enough that he could touch one of Mumbo’s wings if he reached out. Close enough to see the shimmering scales lining his cheekbones. “And you know full well that the Goat can’t resist The Button. I have to be the best.”

Mumbo’s flush darkens, but he doesn’t step away. “Ah yes, well, I suppose that makes sense.” They both know that this was a deliberate design choice.

“Now Mumbo, my new best friend, I have a proposition.”

“A what?” he squeaks.

“A proposition that we team up to prank your pesky neighbor.”

“Oh, right, of course. A prank proposition.” His wings shift with excess energy. “What kind of prank were you thinking?”

Doc nods his head towards the floating rocks behind him. “Perhaps we should first step inside to avoid prying eyes. This will work best if pesky bird doesn’t know that I have the crown.”

“Right,” Mumbo agrees, stepping away from Doc. “Yeah, come on in.”

Mumbo turns and begins descending the stairs into the vault. Doc follows and watches as Mumbo hits a button to close the door behind them. The canking of pistons cover the sound of their footsteps echoing through the chamber.

The vault is modest on the inside. Well, modest aside from the glass covered stash of diamonds kept under the floors. Chests line the dark walls and shulkers are stacked in the corner. A Hotguy poster hangs directly ahead and Doc can’t help but admire it, despite having a matching one at home.

Mumbo clears his throat and Doc tears his eyes away from the chiseled abs of his favorite hero in favor of the handsome man in his presence.

“Would you like some tea?” Mumbo gestures towards the small kitchen and table tucked away behind the stairs.

“Sure, sounds wonderful.” The wooden chair creaks as he sits and, delightfully, it is large enough for him to fit comfortably.

Mumbo places a pot of water on the furnace before glancing back at Doc, wings shifting to clear his line of sight. “So you want to prank Grian?”

Doc nods with a grin. “Mhm.”

“I mean, you know me, I'm always ready to prank him,” Mumbo muses as he joins Doc at the table. “Is there a reason for this prank or is it just because you want to?”

Doc drops his head into his hands and lets out a frustrated groan. “Him and Scar blew up my tunnel bore! These two don’t even know how not to break the most basic of machines. Don’t they realize how many hours it takes to put one of those together even if it is simple?”

He feels something wrap around his ankle and freezes before realizing it’s not just something, it's Mumbo’s tail. He looks up in surprise and meets a concerned yet teasing gaze.

Mumbo’s tail is wrapped around his ankle.

“Ha yeah they tend to do that, it happens to me all the time. Grian seems drawn to every contraption I build.” Is it just in his head or is Mumbo leaning closer now? “What kind of prank were you thinking?”

Mumbo’s tail is around his ankle and Doc is still wearing the crown.

Ok Doc, he thinks to himself, you need to keep your cool. This is good, perfect even. He can’t remember the last time the two of them had even spent any time alone together. Maybe at the spawn village? Or was it back in Boatem? He’s not sure. Regardless, here they are now in Mumbo’s vault and he has this rare and perfect opportunity of being the center of Mumbo’s undivided attention. He can’t waste this.

He clears his throat and leans in conspiratorially. “As you know, pesky bird has been wanting the best friend crown for a while, but he should know by now that the Goat always wins when it comes to The Button.”

Mumbo laughs. It’s something light, yet hesitant. “Is that why you picked me to help? Because of the crown?” His tail moves as if to pull away.

“No, no!” Doc exclaims, reaching out to take Mumbo’s hand in his own. “I picked you because of your ideas. Plus, you have such a handsome face.”

For a moment Mumbo pauses, eyebrows furrowed as he looks down at their hands. The silence stretches on as a variety of expressions flit across Mumbo’s face, too fast and subtle for him to understand and Doc begins to wonder if he’s overstepped. But then Mumbo smiles softly and moves, turning his hand upward to interlock their fingers.

It's an awkward angle for their wrists as they hold hands across the small table, but it feels like a step forward. A step towards something new.

When Mumbo finally speaks, his voice is quiet, barely a whisper, but it’s steady. “So you want to use the crown?”

The air around them feels charged. Doc squeezes Mumbo’s hand and when he responds he makes sure to keep his voice low.

“I want to tempt him with the crown that he so desperately wants. I want to make him pay. And then, with your permission of course, I want to taunt him into taking the best friend crown only for it to cause the destruction of something dear to him.”

Mumbo looks up, startled, but the mischievous glint in his eye tells Doc all he needs to know. “What are you going to destroy?”

“That is where you come in, my dear Mumbo.” Doc’s voice rumbles into the space between them as he begins to use his thumb to draw shapes onto Mumbo’s hand. He watches as Mumbo shivers. “I was hoping you would have an idea. Of course, it doesn’t need to be anything too important, just something to cause a little distress. A little shock. We can always rebuild.”

The flush returns to Mumbo’s cheeks. “We could blow up my vault door.”

Now it’s Doc’s turn to recoil. “Why would you blow up your own base?”

“Well, I’ve been building traps for him all season so he can try to break into my vault. And I was already thinking about blowing up the back part anyway so I can redesign it.”

“You are going to redesign your entire base?”

“Yeah? I don’t think it looks sinister enough.”Doc stares at him. Taking a moment to really look at him. Mumbo’s hair is messy, but not unkempt. It’s pushed back as if he styled it recently, but had already run his hands through it as he thought through his plans for the day. His wings rest comfortably behind him, still shimmering under the skylight. Doc’s eyes trace the crease between Mumbo’s eyebrows and the shape of his lips as he purses them in contemplation of the task ahead.

He’s not sure how it slips out but he hears his own voice whisper. “I could kiss you.”

Brief surprise flickers across Mumbo’s features before he leans in, resting his chin on his hand. “Yeah?”

“Mhm,” Doc nods.

“Then do it.”

Doc leans in minutely, but it’s not close enough. “Damn table is in the way,” he grumbles, keeping their fingers interlocked as he rises to clear the distance around the table in two swift steps.

Purple eyes are looking up at him and then, with a slight tug on their joined hands, the eyes are coming closer along with the rest of Mumbo’s body until they are pressed flush against each other. Mumbo’s warm breath mingles with his own and the gravity finally pulls them together, their lips joining in a dance of fire and flames. Years of taunting and teasing finally crashing inward to this singular moment of grasping hands and beating hearts.

They break apart panting, foreheads touching as they breathe together. Doc lets out a chuckle. “You made my mouth all tingly.”

“Ah yes well,” Mumbo lets out a breathy laugh. “That will be the electricity. Dragon’s breath and all that.”

“So are you saying that there is a spark here?” Doc brings his hand up to brush his thumb along Mumbo’s cheek. “That’s not a very safe thing to have around a creeper, but I’m not going to complain.”

At that Mumbo properly starts laughing, the near magical sound filling the kitchen. He shakes with it as he leans forward and presses his head onto Doc’s shoulder. Doc can’t help but chuckle along with him.

Slowly, it trails off into quieter giggles. “Yeah,” Mumbo agrees, finally composing himself. “Yeah, but here we are.”

“Here we are,” Doc confirms.

For a moment they simply stand, wrapped in each other's arms and basking in the warmth of the embrace.

It’s Doc that eventually breaks their shared silence. He keeps his voice low, trailing his hand down Mumbo’s arm to lace their fingers together. “How about we get started on that redstone, hmm?”

Mumbo's eyes light up and he beams. “Now?”

“Why not?” Doc shrugs.

“Right, yes!” Mumbo exclaims, leaning towards the table to grab a small book and quill. “What did you have in mind?”

[disturbedbeautywrites]

Hollywoods Bleeding - Chapter 2

Synopsis: Drugs, scandals, and lies. That is Bradley Bradshaw’s new life since he got pulled into the lime light with his new celebrity girlfriend. She’s been in some hot water with the press and her PR team thought her dating an American naval hero would be good to her image. They’re now the new ‘it’ couple; however only one of them knows that the relationship is fake.

Masterlist | Previous Chapter

Meet me in my office at 8.

When you got the text, you had debated staying in bed. You had debated lying to Anna. You could’ve played sick. You could’ve faked a fever. Any of that would have been better than what you were being told right now. The words that were leaving your publicists lips had to have been wrong. They absolutely had to be.

“Fake dating?” You repeated the words back exactly as you heard them, a sour taste following their wake on your lips. Your arms were now out in front of you on the table, a shell shocked look on your face as you watched the picture of you hugging Bradley show up on the main board. You knew the picture was making rounds and serving up gossip, but this seemed excessive.

“Yes. Exactly. You need this to save your image. Lost actress gets swept away by an American hero. It’s absolutely perfect.” She was making grand gestures with her hands, a bright and proud smile on her face. “I mean, the tabloids already love you two. You’re on the cover of every single cheesy gossip magazine.”

You took a deep breath and shook your head, feeling a migraine coming on. “And if I say no?” You barely dared to ask the question as you glanced up at the woman in front of you, her shoulders shrugging. “Honey. I don’t know if you’ll have a career anymore if you say no. Your ratings are absolutely tanking. Streaking through a neighborhood while being absolutely high out of your mind isn’t a good look.” She dared to remind you of the latest scandal you had been apart of and you let out an audible groan. Your forehead hit the palm of your hand as you sat there and contemplated.

Fake dating. It was never something you had considered. But, it would basically be another acting job, right? Just play pretend until all of the bad press is gone. That couldn’t be too hard. “When do we tell him about the plan?” Your question implied you were interested, an excited squeal leaving the lips of your publicist.

“Well, actually. We don’t. He can’t know it’s fake.” And that’s when it hit you like a brick. They wanted you to do this and act like it was 100% authentic. Not only did the tabloids have to believe your show, but your new “boyfriend” had too as well. You sighed as you realized you had no other choice, a curt nod occurring before your next words left your lips. “I’m in. When do we start?”

“Tonight. You and him are going out tonight. The paparazzi are already in the loop and prepared. We just need you to make sure that he is with you.”

You let out a sigh, deciding your fate was already sealed. You pulled the crumpled up paper out of your wallet, thanking a higher power that you didn’t end up tossing it when you thought about it. You typed in the number and invited Bradley out for a drink that night, praying that he didn’t say no.

———————————————————————————

That night started the first of many dates with Bradley. You went into this knowing you wouldn't get attached, but you were soon finding that he was a very likeable man. He was a gentleman and a tease all wrapped in one and it absolutely drove you crazy in the best way. Conversation was so easy with him and he had a very charasmatic energy that kept drawing you closer and closer to him.

Everytime the two of you went out, his arm was protectively wrapped around your waist. He wanted to protect you and that was exactly what he was going to do. More often than not, he used his own body as a shield to get you through the mob of cameras and gossip greedy men. He would always look behind to check and make sure you were okay, knowing damn well he would already knock someone out for you.

Normally, Bradley wouldn't have been a relationship man because he knew how dangerous his life was. He never knew if he was going to be able to come home and he always vowed to never leave a girl stranded like his dad left his mom. However, the more that he spent time with you, he could see some of the appeal of inviting someone in.

You were the kind of girl that he knew he would have never had a chance with if it wasn't for the one in a million way you two had met. But, now as you were curled up beside him; his shirt looking like a dress on you, he knew he wasn't going to question how you came into his life. Hell, he knew Hangman would kill him if he did. The blonde aviator had a field day telling rooster how he didn't deserve the very girl he had pulled, but it was all in good-humored fun.

He felt himself coming back to the present as he let his fingers brush against some exposed skin on your waist, a smile coming to his lips at the content sigh that escaped yours. Your eyes peeked up at him from under his arm, a sleepy gaze taking over your features. Your beauty never failed to take his breath away, his fingers moving some stray hairs out of your face. "Will you be my girlfriend?" The words were meant to be a thought that he could ponder, but now he was realizing they were out in the open and your eyes were wide in shock as you pondered the answer.

You opened your mouth to respond when your phone rang; acting as a savior as you answered it.

And I am leaving you guys with that for this chapter, I am so excited to be getting deeper into this fic. I have so many ideas for it, you guys have no idea.

Taglist :  @mak32 @ijustwantedplums @bioodforbiood @katieshook02 @abaker74 @celestial-beeing @double-j @knoxsunday-main @the-dark-and-mystery @royalestrellas @hoddystark

[stiricidewrites]

All the Things We’ll Leave Behind: ch 27, pt 4

Hello everyone~! I hope everyone had a good weekend! I started reading a new series and am obsessed. It's been a while since I was this feral for something, and all I want to do is go back to it @_@

Previously~

CW: passing mention of alphas around jgs being pricks

~

He grimaced slightly, turning back towards the group. Even the idea of being more like his father—more like the Jin he was supposed to be—made him cringe. He could probably leave everyone to deal with finding lwj without much guilt, but if something bad happened, if his friend or any one of the teenagers got hurt, he’d never be able to forgive himself—especially not if a drunk lwj ended up doing the hurting. Wiping your hands of a situation only worked if the consequences, good or bad, weren’t going to matter to you in the end. You had to wipe your hands and heart of everything and never look back, and he couldn’t do that.

The teenagers, under the command of one of the local alpha girls, had begun sorting itself into smaller groups of two to four people. They were surprisingly organized and jzxuan couldn’t help but be a little impressed, even if after a few moments of listening to them chat and plan he realized they were treating this entire situation like a game. Apparently they played some kind of hunting game in the woods quite often, although usually not so late into the evening or in groups. In passing, he had heard about such games. It hadn’t been <i>in</i> in at least a few decades to do mating runs—although he was sure his cousin had talked about bringing them back once, under the banner of alpha rights and tradition—but he had heard of people running similar, more lighthearted events in order to let off steam. Not while anyone was in heat or a rut, of course. No, they were just games of very serious hide and seek among friends… friends, which he didn’t particularly have, so while jzxuan had heard about these friendship runs he had never been invited to any himself.

Several of the teenagers, he noted, were calling their parents, letting them know what was up—or, at least some watered down version of what was up. Most were claiming it was a spontaneous game because the night was just so nice. No, no one was in heat. Yes, it was getting late so they were working in groups. No, they wouldn’t be running off by themselves or fucking or getting anywhere too close to the Jiang compound.

<i>“Are they usually this careful to keep clear of Lotus Pier,”</i> jzxuan wondered as he slid his phone— which had died shortly after they had begun their return journey to Lotus Pier—out of his pocket, <i>”or is it because that alpha died? Or just because there are so many strange alpha wandering around there in general?”</i>

He didn’t blame them. Whenever any of sort of mating event was held in any of the Jin estates he and his brother made sure their omega siblings weren’t anywhere to be found, and mysteriously—as in his brother had secretly arranged—more and more thick, beefy betas showed up to guard their omega staff against any alphas who got out of hand. Who were these betas? Allegedly, they were relatives of the staff, come to visit for a few days. Of course, every time the betas were different, or they were the same but at different estates, relatives of completely different omegas each time. He suspected his father knew what was happening—as much as the man was generally self-centred and uncaring he was rather observant—but perhaps the annoyance of having to hire actual pr*stitutes, or listen to annoyed alphas who couldn’t just fuck their way through the place, was less annoying that dealing with pregnant omegas demanding compensation from whoever had fucked them, probably without their consent.

He pressed futilely at the power button, willing it to turn on so he could at least get contact info for someone—anyone—in Lotus Pier. His brother, nmj, fuck, even his aunt. He had heard jyl ask if any of the teenagers were able to contact anyone, but they had all said no, a few giggling after someone quietly muttered that once they had had her brother’s info, but there was no reason to keep it when he had become so miserable to be around.

[simiansmoke]

@koopzilla

It had been the usual twilight hour - one that DK often spent in a make-shift gym along the ocean shore a few steps shy of one of the kingdom's many boardwalks. To call it a gym was a stretch as it was more of a fallen coconut tree next to its stump, but that was all that was needed to bang out some bench press sets.

One moment he was getting ready to go for a PR with Diddy to spot, but mainly to add more weight onto the tree, and the next - he was being showered in the distant heat of the approaching burning castle. Ah great, what did that bozo want? Catching his little buddy's gaze after shaking loose of the sky scene, DK nods. They had been through this sort of drill before. "Grab Dixie and keep'em outta town. I'm going." Not waiting to hear of any protests, DK turned and raced off with knuckles thundering the salt-washed wooden roads. The city had just started showing signs of awareness to the sky visitors when he reached the bottom of the capital's towering fortress and began to climb.

It was a lot quicker to reach the top by kart, but he had more than enough power to clamber up and hoist himself over the edge. "Dad, hey Dad!" He hollered, figuring Cranky would be out and gathering some security to deal with the unannounced invasion. Once he found his balance, he caught a glimpse of his dad a ways off, cross-armed and peeved behind the iron bars of his personal sized cage.

"Yes, yes I'm aware." Sounding more inconvenienced than worried (the old bastard), Cranky squinted down at a device strapped to his wrist and tapped. "-and your response time was far from your last record, might I add!"

"Is this really the time to time me?!" DK huffed, regarding the group of squat invaders in their red rain slickers and hockey masks worked on hooking the cage to a pulley system that would lead it up to the floating base. "Hey! Step a-way from the old man...-!" Having begun his charge forward, and bowling through several minions in the process, he was close to leaping on top of the cage and ripping it open from the top when a rather spikey Koopa slid a spear through the bars to press against the Kong king's cheek. Cranky himself didn't seem to notice, but he was pretty gifted in the art of becoming a statue to the point where he scared the shit out of DK at times walking down a corridor filled with them.

"Stop there! That's as far as you go."

"...seriously?" Poised halfway on one arm, a fist curled tight at the end of the other. "What are you losers doing here anyway? Let my Dad go!"

"All in good time, all in good time." The Koopa assured and gestured toward the platform lowering to the cobblestone roof. "You are wanted in the main hall. We will escort you." As if on command, a few of the shy guys approached DK from all angles.

"Uh huh, right. YEAH right." The Kong snorted, slamming his hands on the ground hard enough to rumble it and cause a few of the poor shy guys to fall over cursing. "Why would I do that for?"

"Forgive the boy, he's a bit on the slow side." Cranky side murmured.

"Because! Bowser has demanded an audience, and if you don't go - your King will!"

A long pause later fraught with a side-long look towards Cranky's cage, DK heaved a sigh of annoyance, gaze dropping to his knuckles. "...fine, I-"

"Just take me up there already, the boy is no negotiator for this kingdom." Cranky interrupted, ornery as always and inconvenienced by the unexpected drop-in.

"Ugh! Can you like, believe in me for five seconds, Dad? I might let you out when I get back!" His fur twitched furiously as the shy guys slid up by his side again. He wanted to slap them all off the platform as they all headed up, but the Koopa's spear still remained in place by the side of his prisoner. The brief flicker of concern in Cranky's eye is the last thing DK sees before turning his head to regard the gap between platform and base that he hopped to and scrabbled up on his back legs.

It wasn't a long walk to whatever the main hall was, but he was a tad pissy when he got there. Mainly because the shy guys thought he needed six different ropes tied around him (like seriously is there one looped around his thumb too?) Standing on his back legs just to upset the little shits holding onto the ropes tied around his wrist (and partially drag them into the air) DK huffed. "Seriously - I said I was coming, dude. What are these even for?"

[orbital-obvious]

Some more personal opinions about HOTD season 2

So this blockade. How does it work. It's not a siege, the Blacks only control Blackwater bay. I'd assume that food arrives to Kings Landing via land - Stromlands and the Reach are both close and are also Green supporters. Yes, a sea blockade can screw up the economy (cutting off communications with Essos) but. Like. it wouldn't starve the city. SO. how.

On the topic of the blocade, I can 100% belive the smallfolk would cheer for Rhaenyra because she brought them food even though SHE is the reason to the starvation in the first place (though, again, I have no idea how). Also I hate how the show doesn't adress the fact that Rhaenyra is fully willing to starve the people and only give them food as a PR tactic.

Hey, Mysaria, quick question, what is it exactly that makes Rhaenyra so great? Why do YOU, specifically, believe she is the rightful and good queen? In the show Mysaria is the voice of the smallfolk, but Rhaenyra is uncaring for the smallfolk (not in any way that matters) and a mediocre leader besides.

Corlys being mad at Rhaenyra was such a good moment for me.

I understand they are pushing the angle of "Rhaenyra's council wouldn't respect her cause she's a woman" which, yeah, 100%, but I think a more interesting aspect I see int he show is how Rhaenyra is NOT GOOD at running her council. Slapping a person in plain sight would not make them respect you, it's the abuse of power you have towards them. Saying crap like "I want prince Aemond's head" and then LEAVING, giving the council the option of either ignoring what you said (which sets a problematic precedent), or have an excuse to do whatever they want (which led to Blood and Cheese and in general encouraged Daemon's unruliness) is BAD. Fucking off to an udnercover mission without telling anybody is BAD.

Rhaenyra, people keep bringing up Daemon not because he's a man that needs to save you, but because he's a warrior and a battle seasoned commander whom you should use. The fact that you can't utlize your men properly is a you issue, but saying "well we have Daemon" when talking about getting Dragonriders is actually a very reasonable point. I just wish the show would have her confront her flaws instead of saying "she's a great leader they just don't like to see a girlboss winning!!!". Jace is coming close, though.

Like, don't get me wrong, the Greens aren't some awesome megabrained function, but the show makes their flaws very clear (As it should) and I just... want to see the same treatment for Rhaenyra.

You know what? At this point, Let Rhaenyra ride the dragon to battle. If she can't heed what JUST happened to Aegon in Rook Nest that is a her issue.

So.. why are they trying to tame Seasmoke? Rhaenyra knows that Laenor might yet live; therefore, Seasmoke cannot be claimed by a person and any attempt to do so is a suicide mission.

Alicent being actively kicked out from the small council was such a good scene, actually. Yes, the side that uses misogyny as a tool and justification cannot have a woman lead them. But, I think Aemond didn't kick Alicent out of the council ONLY because she was a woman. I think part of it is because he knew she would still champion to Aegon, and he can't have that. The scene where she tenderly touching his cheek... His mother still have power over him and Aemond is clearly fighting it ohhhh the acting in this show is soooo gooodddd.

Lady Arryn my love, the show might have forgotten that you are a female ruler who never married and was a lesbian but I NEVER will. At least they gave you a kickass dress, you look amazing. You are everything show!Rhaenyra tries to be and they would not let you shine

I don't like the way they write the Smallfolk view of the dragons and try to pass dragons in general as "gods". If the smallfolk are in dissarray over killing 10 ratcatchers when one of them is guilty of killing the crown prince (which was horrible), they should be furious at Melyes stomping and killing tens if not hundreds (which was also horrible). "It's an ill omen" no, actually, it's the best thing to ever happen to non-royalty in years.

I never thought I'll be so happy to see the freaking TWINS. The scene with the Freys was amazing. I found it interesting that the Lady was the one to take charge in the negotiations.

I really like Jace. I think he's my fav Team Black member, even if he brings into the table this vibe of "actually fucking doing something" that Rheanyra doesn't like.

Aemond in his Kingslayer, Kinslayer, outfit slayer era, going out there being a blockhead and taking the worse decisions. Love her. Aemond really screwed the Greens over by almost killing the king and gettting rid of one of three (four?) dragons they had. It's so fun to see everything implode.

Also, in my favorite interactions list, Larys-Aegon was not one I expected to see but one I welcome. It's just really good - you can tell there is emotion in there, but also that Larys is using him (he tried moving from Alicent to Aemond, and Aemond rejected him, so Aegon is his grasp for power). Might be one of the most layered relationships in the show.

lol at the Lannisters summoning Aemond, and having lions for some reason. They are just doing the most.

My friend said: "Rhaenyra should've sent Jace to Harrenhall" and oh, my god. yeah. This would be a safe place for him (at least for a while) and Jace does have better diplomatic skills than Daemon. but then we wouldn't get the Daemon getting tortured in Harrenhall plot. And that one's my fave.

Daemon fucking up and getting chewed up by the Riverlords... yeah, my skin is cleared.

Alys killed lord Grover, right? That's what they were getting at?

Daemon blaming SIMON for his dream sequence side quests is just.... Chef's kiss. I get the idea he doesn't suspect Alys because she's a woman, which might be my favorite way the show explored misogyny.

Alyn and Addam, my loves. I don't know why I just like every scene they are in. And having a discussion while Addam is shaving his blond hair while Alyn had a head full of black hair... The way one has given up any connection to Corlys and the other one is striving to get the acknowledgement of his father and the privileges that come with it... The drama, the tension.

Also Seasmoke and Alyn's meeting was the first time since Sunfyre headboop that I actually felt something for dragons.

Ser Gwane Hightower >>>>>>>. That is all.

[my-weird-news]

👀 Shocking: 30 Celebs Who Totally Lost Their Fan Respect 😱

#CelebCrashAndBurn: A Comedic Look at Fallen Stars 😅 You know what they say, folks: the celebrity lifestyle is like a rollercoaster made of admiration and respect, but it seems like the only way down is through a trapdoor labeled "canceled." Let's take a look at some former darlings who've been knocked off their pedestals and left clutching their metaphorical canceling blankets. 🎢 Chris Brown: Remember when Chris Brown was known for his hits, not for hitting Rihanna? 🎵 It was 2009, the Grammy Awards were just around the corner, and Chris decided it was the perfect time to introduce the world to his impressive array of fists. 👊 Now, some folks might argue that his punishment – probation, community service, and counseling – was about as effective as using a feather to stop a hurricane. 🌪️ Ellen DeGeneres: Ellen, Ellen, Ellen. For years, we thought she was the friendliest talk show host since Mr. Rogers. But guess what? Behind the scenes, she was more like the Grinch on a power trip. 👀 Apparently, she was running a workplace more toxic than a laboratory experiment gone wrong. ☢️ Don't worry, though – we still have reruns of "Finding Nemo" to remind us of her better days. Kanye West: Just when you thought Kanye had exhausted his ability to shock, he unleashed a barrage of anti-Semitic tweets that left us all scratching our heads. 🤯 It's like he went to the "How to Ruin Your Reputation in 140 Characters or Less" school of social media. But hey, at least Adidas saved us from ever having to worry about Yeezy fashion again. Roman Polanski: Roman Polanski has mastered the art of being the poster child for bad decisions. Accused of everything from non-consensual sexual intercourse to perversion (yes, perversion – as if the other stuff wasn't enough), he somehow found a way to make things worse. During his trial, he decided it was a great idea to pose with young girls, as if the court were auditioning for his next horror film. 🎥 Jussie Smollett: Remember Jussie Smollett's grand performance? No, not on "Empire," but in the world's most bizarre self-inflicted PR nightmare. He hired actors to play his attackers, staged a hate crime, and then seemed genuinely shocked when the police figured it out. 🕵️‍♂️ It's like he took the saying "fake it till you make it" a little too literally. Amber Heard: Amber Heard's got a lot of nerve. She went from accusing Johnny Depp of abuse to being accused of it herself. Talk about a plot twist. 🎬 It's like a poorly written daytime soap opera, except with real-life consequences. Deitrick Haddon: Deitrick Haddon, the gospel singer turned relationship expert – oh wait, wrong kind of expert. Turns out he's an expert at marital infidelity. 👼 Just when you thought his choir singing was impressive, he added cheating to his repertoire. 🎤 R. Kelly: Ah, R. Kelly – the man who managed to turn "I Believe I Can Fly" into a song about escaping jail. If only he'd put that energy into making better life choices. From sex trafficking to child pornography, he managed to hit every bad note imaginable. 🎵 J.K. Rowling: J.K. Rowling took a magical dive into the realm of controversy when she shared some controversial views about transgender individuals. 🧙‍♂️ Suddenly, the author who brought us the enchanting world of Harry Potter was waving around a wand of divisiveness. Expelliarmus, indeed! Oprah Winfrey: Oprah may have the Midas touch, but she also has a knack for questionable associations. First, she boosted Dr. Oz's profile, a man who's as reliable as a diet pill sold out of the back of a van. Then she threw her support behind a politician who was facing off against someone she'd previously promoted. 🎙️ It's like she's using her talk show powers for political puppetry. Elon Musk: Elon Musk has gone from the genius behind Tesla to the guy who tweets like he's composing haikus while sleepwalking. 👾 His support for certain political figures and his online escapades have us all wondering if he's building rockets to space or just trying to escape Earth's collective facepalm. Kylie Jenner: Kylie Jenner, once a billionaire, now accused of not paying her factory workers. It's like her financial sense is inversely proportional to the number of zeroes in her net worth. Maybe she's just preparing for her next reality show: "Kylie's Quest for Basic Human Decency." Bill Cosby: And finally, there's Bill Cosby – once the beloved "America's Dad," now the poster child for lost legacies. With more allegations of sexual misconduct than a soap opera has plot twists, he went from pudding pops to prison bars. 🍮 So there you have it, folks. Celebrities: they're just like us, except with more money and more public humiliation. Just remember, the next time someone's star crashes, they're probably just one tweet away from becoming a cautionary tale in the annals of pop culture history. ✨#CelebCrashAndBurn: A Comedic Look at Fallen Stars 😅 You know what they say, folks: the celebrity lifestyle is like a rollercoaster made of admiration and respect, but it seems like the only way down is through a trapdoor labeled "canceled." Let's take a look at some former darlings who've been knocked off their pedestals and left clutching their metaphorical canceling blankets. 🎢 Chris Brown: Remember when Chris Brown was known for his hits, not for hitting Rihanna? 🎵 It was 2009, the Grammy Awards were just around the corner, and Chris decided it was the perfect time to introduce the world to his impressive array of fists. 👊 Now, some folks might argue that his punishment – probation, community service, and counseling – was about as effective as using a feather to stop a hurricane. 🌪️ Ellen DeGeneres: Ellen, Ellen, Ellen. For years, we thought she was the friendliest talk show host since Mr. Rogers. But guess what? Behind the scenes, she was more like the Grinch on a power trip. 👀 Apparently, she was running a workplace more toxic than a laboratory experiment gone wrong. ☢️ Don't worry, though – we still have reruns of "Finding Nemo" to remind us of her better days. Kanye West: Just when you thought Kanye had exhausted his ability to shock, he unleashed a barrage of anti-Semitic tweets that left us all scratching our heads. 🤯 It's like he went to the "How to Ruin Your Reputation in 140 Characters or Less" school of social media. But hey, at least Adidas saved us from ever having to worry about Yeezy fashion again. Roman Polanski: Roman Polanski has mastered the art of being the poster child for bad decisions. Accused of everything from non-consensual sexual intercourse to perversion (yes, perversion – as if the other stuff wasn't enough), he somehow found a way to make things worse. During his trial, he decided it was a great idea to pose with young girls, as if the court were auditioning for his next horror film. 🎥 Jussie Smollett: Remember Jussie Smollett's grand performance? No, not on "Empire," but in the world's most bizarre self-inflicted PR nightmare. He hired actors to play his attackers, staged a hate crime, and then seemed genuinely shocked when the police figured it out. 🕵️‍♂️ It's like he took the saying "fake it till you make it" a little too literally. Amber Heard: Amber Heard's got a lot of nerve. She went from accusing Johnny Depp of abuse to being accused of it herself. Talk about a plot twist. 🎬 It's like a poorly written daytime soap opera, except with real-life consequences. Deitrick Haddon: Deitrick Haddon, the gospel singer turned relationship expert – oh wait, wrong kind of expert. Turns out he's an expert at marital infidelity. 👼 Just when you thought his choir singing was impressive, he added cheating to his repertoire. 🎤 R. Kelly: Ah, R. Kelly – the man who managed to turn "I Believe I Can Fly" into a song about escaping jail. If only he'd put that energy into making better life choices. From sex trafficking to child pornography, he managed to hit every bad note imaginable. 🎵 J.K. Rowling: J.K. Rowling took a magical dive into the realm of controversy when she shared some controversial views about transgender individuals. 🧙‍♂️ Suddenly, the author who brought us the enchanting world of Harry Potter was waving around a wand of divisiveness. Expelliarmus, indeed! Oprah Winfrey: Oprah may have the Midas touch, but she also has a knack for questionable associations. First, she boosted Dr. Oz's profile, a man who's as reliable as a diet pill sold out of the back of a van. Then she threw her support behind a politician who was facing off against someone she'd previously promoted. 🎙️ It's like she's using her talk show powers for political puppetry. Elon Musk: Elon Musk has gone from the genius behind Tesla to the guy who tweets like he's composing haikus while sleepwalking. 👾 His support for certain political figures and his online escapades have us all wondering if he's building rockets to space or just trying to escape Earth's collective facepalm. Kylie Jenner: Kylie Jenner, once a billionaire, now accused of not paying her factory workers. It's like her financial sense is inversely proportional to the number of zeroes in her net worth. Maybe she's just preparing for her next reality show: "Kylie's Quest for Basic Human Decency." Bill Cosby: And finally, there's Bill Cosby – once the beloved "America's Dad," now the poster child for lost legacies. With more allegations of sexual misconduct than a soap opera has plot twists, he went from pudding pops to prison bars. 🍮 So there you have it, folks. Celebrities: they're just like us, except with more money and more public humiliation. Just remember, the next time someone's star crashes, they're probably just one tweet away from becoming a cautionary tale in the annals of pop culture history. ✨ Read the full article

[tracksidequeen]

The Fire You Start (Chapter 1)

This is the first chapter of the Fire You Start Series, so expect the intensity to build up! This is my first smut/fic so any comment is welcome and suggestions or requests on where you want the series to go. My inbox is always open! Hope you enjoy loves x

Summary: You are the new press officer in the team that manages Toto’s pr and after an event things between the two of you get pretty steamy.

Warnings: Smut, dirty talk, daddy hotness, ‘what more can I say?’

Words: 2.4K

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 2.5

You are the newly hired press officer at the Mercedes HQ, highly ambitious, full of energy and a strong personality that shows you’re not to be messed with, which is exactly how you got the position at the very competitive Mercedes f1 team. You know you’re entering a ‘man’s world’ and you weren’t afraid to show your tough side, because your mom raised you better than to let any men walk all over you. There is still much you have to learn but you showed that you’re eager and ready for the challenge, which impressed Ben, the senior press officer, and the positive words he said to his colleagues about you already left an impression on the team before you even started.

It’s your first day at the office and while you are writing your introductory email for the department to get to know you, you feel a strong presence enter the room. You look up from your screen and see this giant of a man standing beside your desk, towering over you. “So, you’re the person who’ll be responsible for putting out the fires I start.” “Yes, that’ll be me.” You stand up confidently from your desk and reach out to shake Toto’s hand. The firm grip of his big hand takes you by surprise, as he holds it a little longer than is usual. He loosens the grip, and with a playful smile on his face he says, “I will try to not make it too difficult this season, but you must know me... I have my ways of making, let’s say, interesting statements.” You are well aware of the power this man holds and you took your chance to prove him you have no problem handling it. “Don’t you worry, you do your job and I’ll do mine, there’s nothing I can’t take care of.” He raises his eyebrows surprised by your strong demeanour and you suddenly realise you might have come off to harsh, so you quickly say, “Unless you were talking about real fires, because then I’d be totally useless.” He chuckled under his breath, while the firm hand that was holding yours moments ago, was now gently placed on your shoulder, and he looked you in the eyes. “I bet there’s nothing you can’t do.” You let out a smile, and he turned around towards the door and left with a quick, “I’ll see you around, superwomen.”

The remainder of the day this conversation was stuck in your head, as you replayed it over and over again. Was he really flirting with you, or was he just being welcoming? Or maybe you were just projecting your own fantasies of the man in the situation and it was all completely normal. But what you are feeling is far from normal. The way his hand felt on your shoulder made your knees weak and you were thinking how his firm grip would feel on different places of your body. But just like that you are snapped out of your spicy train of though as Ben walks in hastily. “Are you sleeping? The meeting started 5 minutes ago.” You jumped up feeling slightly embarrassed you were going to be late to the final meeting of the day, where you’d be introduced to the senior management. Late, all because you were having the dirtiest of thoughts about your boss.

When you enter the meeting room, late but in style, all eyes are fixated on you, as you catch Toto looking you up and down and a smile he couldn’t hide. You sure know how to make an entrance, with your bouncing hair and office dress that accentuates your curves just right. “Sorry I’m late” You say politely in an attempt to stay on everyones good side, as you sit down in an empty chair next to Toto. “We were just talking about you,” says Ben while he takes his seat. “This evening we have an event for the launch of a new Mercedes car model, and Toto will go to represent the formula 1 division and sponsors, and we expect you to go with him to make sure everything for pr is in order, because the person that was supposed to go called in sick.” You were sure to not turn down your first real assignment regardless of it all being so last minute, so you agreed to go. As the meeting came to an end and you were walking in the hallway the sudden panic kicked in, apparently a bit too visible. “What’s going on?” That strong Austrian accent did something inside you that only made you more anxious, but in a 100 different ways. “Nothing, it’s just that I have to prepare for event, but I also need to find a way to get home, find an outfit and get back before Ben leaves to drive me to the venue.” Toto nodded his head with a grin on his face and took a step back to look you up and down once more. “Your dress is perfectly fine if you ask me, and about the event prep, I already told you before, ‘there’s nothing you can’t do’.” He smiled approvingly, gave you a winked, and quickly walked off in the direction of his office, as you felt the heat rise under your skin.

When you arrive at the venue you realised what you got yourself into, camera’s flashing, people pulling up in the fanciest cars and wearing outfits triple the cost of your apartment rent. You waked in with Ben showing you the lay-out of the venue, giving you a list of tasks you need to do, and he gave you a list of names you needed Toto to be introduced to. He highly advised you to stay away from the expensive cars that were on displayed sporadically across the venue with red velvet ropes surrounding them. “You’re not insured for any damage here, so unless you’re willing to sell your kidney, I’d keep a distance from the cars. Just a gentle reminder.” He said laughingly. “I know nothing about cars, but look at the one, geez, that looks absolutely amazing.” You said, nodding towards a matte black cabrio Mercedes that stood in the spotlight. “Maybe one day you’ll be able to afford it. Well... I’m leaving, you got everything you need?”

At the event you’re constantly running around to accommodate the different sponsors, and making sure that Toto makes the necessary statements for the different media outlets and gets introduced to the right people. You were so busy and focussed on the job that by the end you were completely exhausted, and took a moment to recharge your social battery in the corner of the venue. Toto was mingling with a group of people, and from afar your eyes locked in and observed his every movement. How his stance exudes absolute power, contrasting the playfulness of how he talks with his hands and gestures around, making people laugh at the story he was telling. His strong fore arms with rolled up sleeves and his dress pants hugging tight around his hips made you ache between your tights. He caught you staring at him and walked in your direction, with blushing cheeks you turned around to avoid any possible awkward interaction, but he was too quick and grabbed you gently by your waist to turn you around. Your tired eyes looked up at his and for a moment you realised he just stood there, absolutely in awe with you, until he quickly shook his head and asked, “Do you already have a ride home?” You nodded ‘no’, grabbed your phone and stressfully started scrolling through your contacts looking for someone willing to pick you up, since it’d be ridiculous to ask Ben at this hour and you completely forgot about this in advance. “You know what… I’ll bring you home, nothing to worry about.” After politely declining twice but him persisting, you finally agreed for him to drive you back.

As the event reached its end and you struggled to keep standing on the high heels you were wearing, Toto walked over to you and told you to wait by the exit. As you were standing there in the cold with the mumbling background sound of people exiting the event, you hear two loud car honks from a car approaching you. Toto was sitting in the drivers seat with a self-fulfilled smile on his face, his white button-down and rolled up sleeves waving you to come. You couldn’t hide the excitement seeing he just drove up in the matte black cabrio that you absolutely love. “How did you know? You didn’t have to do this!” You say while stepping in the car. “I have my ways,” he said with a wink. “I just wanted to show you my appreciation for a job well done, you were amazing on your first day.” The sudden paise, from the usually so though man, made your heart race and suddenly the only thing you could do was thank him softly with blushed cheeks and a knot forming in your stomach.

As the two of you drove off there was an obvious tension that neither of you was willing to admit. But the way he would look at you and take in the sight of you in your dress that was creeping up a bit and your skin glowing red from the streetlights made it hard for him to focus. You noticed the obvious bulge in his pants growing and it made you wet thinking about all the things you want to do with it. You shifted your crossed thighs to create some friction, scared he would notice how much you need him in-between them. “The work day is over. You can relax now.” He said laughingly your way, as he noticed how tense you were, but how could you relax when all you could think of was how his growing bulge would feel inside you. At the red light you looked at each other, his eyes filled with desire. “You should know I value professionalism, but there is one thing I value most, which is the truth. And I must say that you are honestly one of the most beautiful women I have ever laid my eyes on.” 

Shocked by the sudden declaration of admiration, you tried to play it cool and play right in his hand. “You’re not so bad yourself.” You say teasingly with a wink and a playful slap on his knee. He shakes his head and kisses his teeth, turned on by the way you wouldn’t back down. “I knew there was something about you from the moment I stepped into your office.” “Oh yeah- and what's that?” You say teasingly while fidgeting with your hair looking at him with big mischievous Bambi eyes, turning him on even more. “You claim you can put out my fires, but you are creating one right here within me and you know exactly what you’re doing.” You lean closer to him, your hand resting on his bicep, as you innocently whisper in his ear. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, mister big boss.” “Oh no? The way you’ve been prancing around me in that tight dress, the way you’ve been staring at me all night with that look in your eyes.”

He places his right hand softly on your tight just below the seam of your dress, looking for your sign of approval. You stroke his arm and he squeezes the inner of your thighs, to which you can’t hold back the gasp that comes out of your mouth. With one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your thighs he starts teasing and stroking the sensitive skin, as you grab his hand and guide him up under your dress. With your panties already soaked, he starts caressing your folds with only a thin layer of fabric in-between. You felt the heat spread under your skin while he pushed you panties to one side and started massaging your clit. You were biting your lip trying not to let out a moan as he increased the pace and pressure, and he then suddenly let go to make a gear shift. 

Trying to catch your breath you reached out your hand eagerly and placed it on the contours of his shaft, while stroking up and down. You could feel his length throb within your hand through the fabric of his pants and you were mesmerised by the size of it. He noticed the look in your eyes. “That’s for another time superwomen, tonight you deserve to know just how much I appreciate you.” He took your hand off him, reached between your thighs where he was working his magic just moments ago, and with a few stroked up and down your folds to wet his finger, he entered you in one go. Middle finger thrusting in your warmth and thumb circling your clit, making your head tilt backward and sent shivers down your spine. The pressure on your nub made your legs shake uncontrollably and you were moaning incoherent words and sentences as he increased the pace. 

“Such a good girl, and good girls deserve to be rewarded. What do you want?” You looked at him, eyes filled with desperation while you rocked your hips to the merciless rhythm of his thrusts and you whimpered trying to give an answer. “Good girls use their words. Now, what do you want?” “Make me cum.” You begged, trying to catch your breath, repeating the words like a mantra. “Make me cum.” Your hips were trembling as he increased the thrusts to an unrelenting pace and he intensified the pressure he put on your throbbing nub. “I’m so close.” You cried, as you felt yourself tighten around him. “Not yet baby girl.” He went even deeper, hitting you g-spot with a relentless pace, making your whole body shake and you dug your nails into his bicep. “I can’t anymore.” You moaned in his neck while you felt your stomach tighten, reaching your climax. 

“Let go, beautiful.” With a few more deep thrusts you felt the knot in your stomach come undone, your eyes rolled back and with a loud moan your walls fluttered and flooded his fingers. “Good girl.” He praised you, while you were trying to catch your breath and he calmly massaged your clit so he could feel the aftershocks. You looked at him while he placed your panties back in position, and took the back of his hand to take a strand of hair out of your glistening face and stroked your cheek. “You look so beautiful when you cum for me babygirl, I had been waiting for this all day.” He placed his hand on your knee and with a smile on your face you held his hand trying to get back to reality, as you felt jitters and butterflies creeping up in your stomach. 

Having lost complete track of time and finally being aware again of your surroundings, you realise the navigation said your street was the next right turn. Getting ready to step out of the car while he pulls over in front of your apartment building, you look at him teasingly. “Thank you for taking me home, it was definitely a ride to remember. Next time it’s my turn to take all of you.” While you nod with a devilish smile towards his hard cock outlining in his pants, and he pulls you closer and whispers softly, “there is nothing you can’t do, superwomen”, and places a kiss on you cheek before he lets you out of the car.

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Masterlist + more Toto smut: 

The Fire You Start: Chapter 2 - Chapter 2.5

Champagne Soaked (one-shot)

A Ride to Remember (one-shot)

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[tae-shimura-is-my-wife]

An anon sent an ask, but since they used a word that's banned from tumblr, the post will not show up, so i will post here:

TW: Ag3 gap mention

Anon ask: "As cute as GinTae is I just can’t ship it romantically. Gintoki’s pushing 30 and Otae’s b*rely legal. It’s sick. Keep all those old men away from her!"

Well, i'm not surprised for seeing a commentary of that nature, this will be a long post!

This may be controversial, but for me ppl with Tae age are ad*lts, idc if they were a teenager before or whatever, i seen them like that and will treat them like that, where i live this b*rely legal ting is just weirdo f*tish, bc here nobody cares how old you were before, just how old you're now.

Right now to Tae, generally this kind of relationship would make me uncomfy, but there multiple factors that didn't:

Gin didn't have to wait Tae become legal unlike certain ships, because he meet her as an ad*lt woman.

Tae is treated like any other women in gntm, yes she's younger, but this isn't a focus, it actually doesn't matter, different from other anime/manga where the youngness of the female character makes her more "appealing" since she's closer to being innocent and that stuff.

Gin doesn't disrespect her or see her as less for being younger, especially because every young ad*lt in this anime/manga is treated and seen as an ad*lt, they being younger doesn't erase that fact. Plus, he didn't keep pushing himself on her and he doesn't like to see her getting uncomfortable.

Power balance, yes Gin is older and stronger than Tae, but they have similar roles like being Four Devas, at the same time, Tae has more money, a house and owns a local. And it's important to say that Gin never uses his status as a Four Deva to disturb Tae or force her to stay with him.

So with gintae, there's no power imbalance, no disrespect, no gr**ming and no haras*ing.

Regarding how Tae is treated by narrative:

I think that people with a mentality like yours sorry if it sounds rude, that's not my intention, should be annoyed beyond ships, if the problem is that Tae is b*rely legal, then you guys should condone Sorachi for saying he wanted to marry her, for making jokes about Gin f*cking Tae three times, for having characters thinking that Gin liked her, for talking and reparing openly about her body, especially older man characters, for making her work at dawn, drinking excessively and having to deal with perv drunk men, for offering herself to be a pr*stitute and the list goes on...

Because where you're from, you probaly see ppl at her age as b*rely legal, but as i said other cultures just see an young ad*lt, who know the sh*t they do, Tae is never treated as b*,rely legal, just as an ad*lt woman, if she was a minor before it doesn't matter, it only matters that before time skip she was an ad*lt, but i understand why you would be uncomfortable with huge age gaps.