you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
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Transcript:
Oh my gosh.
Thank you so much for- for meeting up with me.
Really- I'm really looking forward to- to this evening. I haven't been able to get out a lot lately.
Been, well hah you know how it is. So busy.
Yeah... But you know it's just nice to spend time with people um, and go out and do stuff, ya know?
I mean there's a whole city here, but works been kinda tight um, so I don't- so I don't have a lot of money. So you can buy tonight, right?
End Transcription
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I think one of my “favorite” things is when people misinterpret what it means to be aroace. Watching people so clearly not understand the complexity behind the spectrum of aromatic and asexuality and then proceed to say they “stand with” aroace as an ally is so hilarious to me. Especially when they use this to start bashing on a perfectly fine ship, especially because said ship gets in the way of theirs.
Aroace does not mean no attraction. The plastered poster face for it is people who don’t feel ANY types of attraction, but that does not mean everyone. Aromantic people can date and fall in love. Asexual people can fuck. Aroace people can do both.
Yes, aroace rep IS needed. But we still have it via Luffy—just because Luffy kisses someone (hypothetically) doesn’t mean we just yeeted the aroace label off of him. He is STILL aroace. You know who else is aroace? Bon Clay, for one. Zoro as well. Yet I don’t see people screaming that shipping Zoro with someone completely erases the aroace label, now do I?
Ugh, I’d totally make a whole ass essay about this, but it’s half till midnight. It’s just. Been on my mind for a few hours and I need to say a little shit
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in general, acting like mike is being SO obvious and clockable in being gay/his feelings for will in canon is a little. bizarre for me cause like. maybe for you for those people here who have spent months after vol.2 re-analyzing all his behavior and also we’re an unseen audience who know he’s fictional and thus know it’s narratively significant his expressions are caught in super close-up 4k? otherwise… girly… it’s really not that clear at all. will’s not just in denial and refusing to believe he can have this good thing (though he also is) like… mike has a girlfriend he has professed he loves before + abandoned will/party for in the past? and not only for will, this idea that mike’s queerness is so obvious to everyone around him. I can maybe see a ‘oh yeah… that’s makes some sense’ afterwards by the party, but no one now in the party actively disbelieves that mike is into el? lucas pushes mike towards el in s1 precisely cause it’s never ever occured to him mike wouldn’t like girls. he helps mike in s3 ‘win El back’ cause he fully thinks that’s what mike wants. more broadly on mike’s sexuality, the fact the bullies in hawkins came after will with plaintext homophobia and would’ve done the exact same to mike tells us the degree that mike is not perceived as ‘outwardly gay’ within this society. At most, you can talk about mother’s intuition with Karen encouraging mike to talk to her in season 1? But even then it feels almost like it’s meant as a subtextual double meaning /for an audience/ who recognizes its similarity to a sexuality talk vs. actually being one in-text. I mean, we’re the ones who know El’s upstairs literally tucked away by Mike in his closet. and idk on a personal af level I feel like acting like mike’s soooo clockable diminishes the power and significance of his story for those queer people who struggle for so long because of feeling so invisible, so easy and inviting to delude yourself that it /would/ be ‘easier’ on your future to blend in and continue playing at this role, even taking so long to come to terms with your feelings or sexuality yourself /because/ it was never recognized early in your life and hadn’t had it called for you before you knew it’s true. Having to live with your identity only as this private thing inside your head. the specific hurt that comes with knowing you /do/ belong to a community, but since you’ve been scared to step free of the closet doors, you’re cut off and isolated and so alone, a core part of you has never been acknowledged for who you are. afraid precisely cause you know it WOULD be a shock to others. The bravery to choose anyway to defend against disbelief, that you know YOU more than that person they’ve all believed they’ve known your whole life. and SO fucking brave when mike does, when being recognized and valued exactly as you are becomes worth more than false approvals, brave enough to turn your back on the open gate of validation, refuse your allotted slot to conformity. if only you stay invisible. but you don’t. it’s… real af
ohh wow. i agree with everything you said. like you said, it's really not just taking something that is undeniably will's and giving it to mike, it's also taking something from mike, because his is also a very real experience that comes with its own set of challenges, their experiences are so so different, deliberately so.
and i know why people do it, reversing the roles is fun sometimes, but it's not fun to me when it goes against canon by taking away experiences that are so important to who the characters are.
you don't have to get why everyone on the show clocks will as gay, you don't need to see it yourself, you just have to accept that they do! there's really no use in fighting it, especially not when it's something that's so important to his character. and same with mike, even though acting like the guy who's been romantically involved with a girl for most of the show is soooo obviously queer is just...nonsensical. it's not obvious that he's queer and in love with will, that's the whole point! it's so frustrating to see people act like it's not, even when it's just for a joke. will really isn't oblivious, the guy he's in love with literally has a girlfriend? and is frankly acting like he's obsessed with her? the vast majority of people watching the show don't think mike is queer and will is supposed to be living this 40-37 years ago. will being visibly queer (both to the audience and to the characters) and mike being the opposite serves a purpose and will isn't blind, there's really just no way he'd know after the events of seasons 3 and 4.
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Tom "Obsess over your wife's male cousin, ask if he'd kiss you, straddle him on the ground, try to goad him into wrestling you, declare you'd cut his balls off and marry him, risk jail for him, kiss his forehead as tears well in your eyes, brag about your dick size and sexual prowess, go out and awkwardly fuck *~ the ladies ~* with him and get 0.02 inches from his face to demand he tell you in graphic detail about his mediocre sex, disparage any woman he has interest in, swallow your own cum and brag to him about it, promise you'll protect him while betraying your pregnant wife, keep a death grip on Symbolic Stickers ™ as you both fight, put said sticker on his forehead and claim covet him as yours" Wambsgans (heterosexual)
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