#yes i am a stem girlie

[geometric-bs]

"Doing your best" (with chronic illness)

My doctor (bless him) straight up went "don't" when I said "I'll do my best"

Because what I think "my best" is, is completely draining myself for this One Thing and going above and beyond

I guess this goes for people w/o chronic illness as well, but "your best" shouldn't mean you end up hurting yourself in the long run. "Your best" is as much as you are willing to devote to something proportional to how much you care about it within the confines of what is healthy for you AND considering all the other stuff you have to do

Please just- holy heck we're already struggling so much please don't devote your precious energy to something that doesn't deserve it

don't do your best, do whats best for you

[sugaredrhubarb]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

tagged by @woodswit 💌

whose blog ive been lurking on for a bit now and whose book is near the top of my tbr so i will hopefully get to talk about soon!

1. are you named after anyone?

first name not really (tis a common noun so kinda?), but middle name is feminized version of my mum's dad

2. when was the last time you cried?

the other day from a book i think?

out of the crying everyday phase now that we're a couple weeks out from breakup so thats a yay

3. do you have kids?

i'm pretty young so no. but, i have always wanted them (got called maternal from a very young age, we don't have to talk about what that did to my psyche)

4. what sports do you play/have played?

did very minimal karate, ballet, gymnastics as a kid and then played soccer into highschool until i was too concussed <3

5. do you use sarcasm?

actually something im trying to lean on less - i try to be a kind person and find i lean on sarcasm as a defense mechanism even when its not how i want to be interacting with people

6. what's the first thing you notice about people?

probably something cliché like eyes but also the energy they are giving off and if they have humour about them, if that makes sense? not sure how to explain it other than some people are just heavier or lighter beings

7. what’s your eye colour?

dark brown, i used to not really like them but got this insane text from a guy friend™️ once so there's that

8. scary movies or happy endings?

firmly happy endings, im an absolute p*ssy with a pension for nightmares so keep scary shit away from me

9. any talents?

I'm a good talker, always could improv a speech or articulate my point well which has come in pretty handy in academic writing

i also can solo the shit out of a canoe so

10. where were you born?

born and raised in the same canadian city

i like to leave breadcrumbs of mystery

11. what are your hobbies?

reading and talking about books generally, watch quite a few sports with varying degrees of intensity (love hockey but have had a harder time with it over the past few years with how bad the culture is), a lot of time looking at/talking about politics but thats also my degree

also not sure if it counts but i really do love being a part of fandom/internet spaces

12. do you have any pets?

a family dog back home with my parents!

13. how tall are you?

about 5'9 which i think is pretty tall and i am very self conscious about

14. favourite subject in school?

oo it shifted a lot over time. i loved math early on because i picked it up really easily but that was a really hard subject to maintain when i was in and out of school for health reasons. so it moved to the humanities/lib arts

always enjoyed english and I'm a Politics, Philosophy, and Economics(bleh) major so do with that information what you will

15. dream job?

aha thinking about the future is terrifying. i'd really like to teach in the polisci field just because i have so many thoughts about the importance of education there but every now and then i consider being a librarian

or the younger wife of a rich man who wants to give me his money for books and philanthropy would work too

absolutely zero pressure tags of those i love and/or would love to get to know better: @chai-isms @ceilidho @ohbo-ohno @heatherdewhoney @ghosts-cyphera @winterrose527 @thegoodbutter @bluemoonjeans

and anyone else who would like to but im shy and terrified of annoying people (ill bring it up to my therapist)

[isthisselfcare]

Gorgeous news

I am so honoured, so full-hearted, so excited, to announce that I am now represented by Thao Le of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency. Yes, that Thao, the one who represents Ali Hazelwood and Thea Guanzon. (I am all nerves, I am a single nerve, I am screaming, crying, throwing up)

Thao found me through The Mortifying Ordeal, mutual fangirling ensued – and now, this is officially happening. The project we are working on will please the Dramione stans, the slow burn masochists, and the STEM girlies all at once. 

So looking forward to sharing this next chapter with you!

Warmly,

Brigitte xx

[webslingingslasher]

omg i had a gen ed science final recently and while i was studying (and struggling bc i'm an english girly 😔) all i could think about was studying for finals with peter

he'd genuinely try but he's so smart and he talks about all of the concepts so fluently it's distracting can he stop being hot for five minutes some of us have gpa's to maintain

trouble: i can't focus when you're being so hot.

peter: i have no idea how to make thesis statements any less sexy.

trouble: it's because you're so smart, like, yes daddy, teach me all about my major. you big, strong, yummy stem boy.

peter: i am not a stem boy.

peter: i am a stem man.

trouble: you're so sexy.

peter: i'll do my best to not tempt you - so, no more looking at me while i explain this.

trouble: no! your voice is even more distracting.

peter: you're going to fail.

[escxelle]

i'm convinced sleep token are stem girlies because the amount of physics, maths and chemistry in their lyrics hmmm. lemme list all the references below the cut <3 (just as an fyi: this is a joke and i'm not being serious!! i'm just pointing out all the science references in their songs, dw)

alright, bit of a stretch to start but: "sulfur on your breath, granite in my chest." - granite from take me back to eden (2023). sulfur obviously being an element and granite is a rock (i'm not a chem student, i do astrophysics sorry idk anything else skdjsjd)

i'm being really picky but like "these days i'm a circuit board, integrated hardware you cannot afford." - aqua regia from take me back to eden (2023). vessel is an engineering girlie!! /j also i could point out the latin title is a mixture of nitric acid and hydrochloric acid sooo

still in aqua regia, we have "sugar on the blood cells, carbon on the brain." mhm, speak stem girlie!

aqua regia is full of stem textbooks: "oxytocin running in the ether. silicon ballrooms. subatomic interactions if it's all good. gold rush, acid flux. saturate me, i can't get enough. cold love, hot blood." so the debrief: oxytocin is a hormone. ether are a class of compounds. the rest i think is self-explanatory, as they're elements and cute little stem terms oxox

i love stretching. "your viscera welcome me in." - vore from take me back to eden (2023). viscera are the large organs inside the body, including the heart, stomach, lungs, and intestines. biology girlies!! /j

more stretching <3 "who encrypted your dark gospel in body language? synapses snap back in blissful anguish." - ascensionism from take me back to eden (2023). encryption is the process of encoding information!! a computer science girlie!! then synapses are the places where neurons connect and communicate with each other <3

"half algorithm, half deity. glitches in the code or gaps in a strange dream." who ate a programming textbook?! /j

"digital demons make the night feel heavenly." side note but i think we should start calling trolls digital demons.

"lipstick, chemtrails, red flags, pink nails." has someone maybe studied chemtrails in their chemistry classes hmmm? /j

as i'm an astrophysics student i have to mention this: "the shifting states you follow me through." - the apparition from take me back to eden (2023). states, huh? liquid turning into a solid time is it? /j

"i feel my shadown dissolving." - rain from take me back to eden (2023). a metaphor or a chemistry textbook? /j

"it's that chemical cut that i can get down with." have many chemical cuts, huh?? /j

i'm an astrophysics girlie (gn) so i have to include this one: "a dangerous disposition somehow refracted in light, reflected in sound."

"i dream in phosphorescence." - take me back to eden from take me back to eden (2023). phosphorescence is a type of photoluminescence related to fluorescence. i mean, come on! the rest lyric? really?

"sink porcelain stained, choking up brain matter and make-up. just two days since the mainframe went down and i'm still messed up." biology and software engineering much? /j

"if my fate is a bad collision." - euclid from take me back to eden (2023). collision? huh are you a particle, hm? also euclid was a greek mathematician ! currently in my special relativity notes i have written "flat euclidean space"! riddle me that, sleep token. /j

"just orbiting the vacuum i am." - atlantic from this place will become your tomb (2021). yes, orbiting like the sun and moon and planets, right?? /j

"push down into membranes and layers, creating a slow dissection." - like that from this place will become your tomb (2021). yeah we get it, you're a biology student /j

"you lie an inch apart on your own continuum." - the love you want from this place will become your tomb (2021). continuum, huh?

"and though echoing futures are the buckling sutures." - fall for me from this place will become your tomb (2021). i bet you've seen many sutures huh dr. vessel! /j

right prepare for a lot of references here folks. "she's not acid nor alkaline." - alkaline from this place will become your tomb (2021). do i really have to explain the actions of this chem girlie? /j

"ooh, let's talk about chemistry 'cause i'm dying to melt through to the heart of her molecules 'til the particles part like holy water. if anything, she's an undiscovered element." i'm sure you'd love to infodump about your favourite subject! /j

"'cause i am broken into fractions." - distraction from this place will become your tomb (2021). i bet you deal with fractions all the time, you maths nerd!! /j

"and we go beyond the farthest reaches where the light bends and wraps beneath us and i know as you collapse into me." - telomeres from this place will become your tomb (2021). light bending? how very relativity of you. also telomeres are structures made from DNA sequences and proteins found at the ends of chromosomes.

"and i choke myself on sacred vapour." - high water from this place will become your tomb (2021). vapour because it's changed state, right? /j

"keep up on the charm offensive anymore." - missing limbs from this place will become your tomb (2021). i'm doing particle physics right now so i know exactly what a charm quark is! also limbs??? hello again dr. vessel /j

"'cause i look for scarlet and you look for ultraviolet." - higher from sundowning (2019). using ultraviolet filters for your astrophotography are you?? /j

"let the impulse to love and the instinct to kill entangle to one." - say that you will from sundowning (2019). entangle? entanglement? quantum entanglement? i'm connecting the dots.

"i want to roll the numbers. i want to feel my stars align again even if the earth breaks like burnt skin." - blood sport from sundowning (2019). an astrophysics fr /j

"and somewhere, somewhere the atoms stopped fusing." more stem!

"and out there, stuck in a quantum pattern, tangled with what i never said." this is something a theoretical physicist would say is all i'm saying. /j

now you have to listen to sleep token to hear these bangers >:)

[bucknastysbabe]

Rating: Explicit

Tags: College!au, modern!au, nerd loser baby Criston, loss of virginity, hot stem computer partner girly, older girl, Alicent for the win, short n sweet n smutty, pnv!sex, first dates, Criston’s inner dialogue, subby lil baby

Taglist: @bambitas @fallingintoyourlilaceyes @aemonds-holy-milk @targaryenbarbie @starogeorgina @moncherrii @valeskafics @arcielee @lovelykhaleesiii @sugarpoppss2

A/N: shout-out to @fairysluna “he looks like a loser who jacks off to hentai but I’d fuck him.” I made the divider :)

Criston knew he was a fucking incel. Maybe at some point in his miserable life he could’ve done a sport and use his decent height and muscle tone. But no, he was cripplingly shy and had a stutter that took forever to get rid of— sometimes rearing its ugly head when he was angry or flustered.

He spent his time studying, playing league of legends, and jerking off obscenely to hentai. Yes, the Japanese porn comics. It was easier to ignore how pathetic he was reading those or talking to a chat bot that thought everything he said was hot.

Criston thought best to keep under the radar, head down and attentive in his classes. One day he’d be a rich computer scientist Silicon Valley type and then he could just, like, have the girls come to him. Because he��d be rich. No longer weird, ugly, and a huge VIRGIN. He felt like it was stamped on his forehead. Or perhaps his was the Star Wars buttons on his jacket— that’s a big cue.

He tucked a dark hair behind his ear, shaking his head. Another year, but one less until he could move on in life. Cole was glad he was in college, it was scores better than the constant bullies in highschool. It was his second year now and he was ahead of schedule. He’d be in an upper level compsci class with some juniors or seniors.

Scary.

Maybe there would be some other weirdo girl like him that would take pity and they could fuck, then go to Thursday’s Dungeons and Dragons like it never occurred. He’d like that. Swift and easy. Erryk Cargyll and Elinda Massey did that. But the only girl he considered ‘friend’ was Alicent and he was pretty sure she was a lesbian. Also totally not a nerd, Ali was very cool and involved.

He sighed while ducking into a seat. Criston carefully placed his stuff down at the two person desk, focusing on getting the PC ready. The instructions on the board were simple enough.

A waft of perfume and the presence of another body startled Criston. He jumped in place, brown eyes glancing over at the girl- no- woman. She was fucking hot. Like why was she sitting next to him type of hot?

“Hi,” she extended a hand, eyes roving, “Criston!”

“H-how do you know m-my name?,” he echoed stupidly, shaking her dainty hand, eyes comically wide.

She gently let go of his hand after shaking one second too long and giggled, “It’s on your backpack.” Criston blushed bright red and nodded, “Yeah, you’re right, ha-haha?” Oh God he was going to self combust. She was so hot. Like she had these patent leather boots on, a little red plaid skirt, and some tight-ass high-necked white tank.

“What’s your name?,” he managed, grateful the stutter wasn’t making too much of an appearance. She smiled and told him, baring white teeth and cherry red lips. The teacher droned from the front, “Glad you’re acquainted now, that will be your partner for the rest of the semester.”

Cole was going to jizz himself. Not in the fun way? Maybe the fun way? He was terrified. He had to tell the boys on Thursday. The beauty next to him raised her brows and flicked one of his errant curls. She whispered, “Can’t wait, Criston!”

Oh God. Oh God! He wasn’t going to make it.

“Hnghhhh, fuck yes, I am your sempai, mmm,” Criston flopped back from his hentai and laid on the bed, “Fuck. This sucks.” His cock was still hard and nothing was cutting it recently. The twenty year old’s mind was settled on his computer science partner. Who was obscenely beautiful and sexy and smelled good and so so so smart.

Oh. He was jacking off again. Maybe this was what the missing piece was. Criston closed his eyes and began to pump his cock some more, imagining her perky tits bouncing as he fucked her over a desk. He gasped sharply, prick twitching excitedly at something tangible.

He thought about the cute way she’d laugh at his dumb jokes. Or when he’d fix something in a faulty program and she’d purr, “Oh! Smart boyyyy.” He whined through his nose, squirming in place, imagining her breathing that in his ear. Criston cried out sharply, cumming so damn hard spunk reached his collarbones.

He laid there breathless, a dopey smile across his face. She was so perfect. He laid in his post-nut bliss and pondered his partners actions. For a girl older and way cooler than him, she sure did enjoy talking to him, even had his number, and they met outside of class to work on their project.

Could there be? No, no. Totally not.

The nerd thought about the times she blushed or would bat his shoulder. Or the time they nearly kissed putting together a PC. She’d merely laughed and said, “Just have to ask me!” He had a meltdown and awkwardly laughed it off. Criston did the same when she was wearing a low-cut top and she breathed, “I wore this for you today, I know you wanna look Cole.”

He sat upright with a bolt.

“Wait what?” he shouted.

“Shut the fuck up loser!,” came the reply of his apartment roommate. Criston rolled his eyes and blinked a couple more times. He still had cum drying on his shoulders from jacking off about the girl of his pathetic dreams and she might be into him? He needed a long shower and help from Ali— stat.

She came through quite quickly after he sent the SOS message. First Ali wrinkled her nose at his room and complained, “Ugh, I’m glad I brought my candles. It smells like man in here. God.” He gave her puppy eyes until the redhead exclaimed, “What?”

“You gotta help me!,” he pled, “I uh- someone likes me back?”

It was a flurry of cinnamon scented womanly magic after his admission. Bless Alicat.

The auburn haired girl swished through Criston’s wardrobe. She raised a brow at him and asked, “Is there anything in here that doesn’t have a logo or some strange wording on it? I can’t believe you just realized she was into you, I could smack you!”

He sat on the bed, freshly showered and in his briefs. Alicent and him had known each other since childhood— this was nothing new. Ali helped him type out a witty way to ask her out tonight without being too dorky. Criston eked, “I think I have some button downs my dad gave me, but they’re probably shoved somewhere.”

“Aha! Found them, still pressed too. I think this darker tan will look good,” she said while stepping out of the closet. Honors college had nice digs. It did pay to be a nerd. Criston eyed the polo shirt, leagues away from his usual t-shirts and jackets.

Alicent narrowed her eyes. He hopped up and sighed, “Fine, fine, I’m putting it on. Just lemme get the undershirt.”

Now he was clad in a nice top, some not worn-to-death jeans, and his rarely used church loafers. He was a pretty shitty Catholic. Alicent styled his wild curls, giggling, “Look at you go, who would’ve thought, you two are going to be some lookers!”

Criston rolled his eyes and mumbled, “Yeah, hoping she doesn’t mind the big neon-lit ‘virgin’ sign over my head.”

Ali snickered, “Or the nasty cartoons you jerk it too, might wanna get rid of that evidence if you’re planning on getting that far, yeah stud?”

He blanched, stuttering up a storm as she laughed. Criston grabbed all and any evidence of his…prior predilections..and hid them under the bed. In a big lockbox. Then completely wiped his browser history and any suspicious downloads. Fire walled it or whatever.

He sighed again, getting jittery, reading a text from the cutie.

‘Hey handsome, still see you in 30 on the plaza? I’m excited for the pizza and games! 💋’

Criston immediately squawked, “Ali!”

She ‘tsked’ and looked at the text. Then looked back at him with a funny look. Alicent deadpanned, “You’re such an idiot for being smart. I wish half the girls I texted were this forward. Just tell her yes, you can’t wait, you know she’s gonna look gorgeous and throw some emoji in!”

“So you are a lesbian?”

“And you’re not telling a soul!”

They pinky promised, Ali giving him a warm hug and pat on the cheek. She teased, “Luv yaaaa Nerd, don’t forget to wrap it!” He blushed and waved her off. Criston rubbed the back of his neck, glad he had such a good friend. He quickly typed back.

‘Hi- yeah I’ll see you there. I know you’ll be gorgeous, can’t wait xx’

The date had gone great. They didn’t ID either. So beers, pizza, and dumb arcade games they played. Criston probably had her up-down look at him sketched into his mind. She was in a cutesy dress herself, cut mid-thigh and a heart shaped window in the front to show her…assets. Not to forget some Doc’s he would gladly be stomped by.

“Criston, oh my god, you look so cute, who dressed you up,” she pulled him into a tight hug, whispering, “Should I be jealous?”

He sheepishly smiled, “No, just my childhood friend, she’s kinda, we’re not, you know.”

His class partner giggled, patting his chest, “No need, I gotcha. We all need those friends. C’mon let’s go!”

He couldn’t help but goofily smile down at her as they held hands walking to the pizza joint. Sometimes Criston would get so lost in his head and self-conscious, it would seem like he was always underfoot. But tonight, with her, he felt his right size. She grabbed their interlaced hands and pecked his skin, giggling.

Christ have mercy, lord have mercy. He was so down bad.

But as he said, the night went awesome. Conversation never lulled, he taught her the secret to ski-ball, and she schooled Criston in pac-man. He got his first kiss on the walk back, paused at the stoplight, waiting to walk. She pulled back and murmured, “You’ve been the best date.”

Criston, likely all moony eyes now, gushed back, “God, same, really, you’re great you know that? I’m just a bit clueless.”

She shrugged, “That’s okay. We don’t have to know everything.”

They walked near the honor’s college. They both chirped at the same time, “You uh-“ then burst into laughter. Criston grinned and ran a hand through his inky hair. He shuffled his balance and gestured, “Do you want to come back to my room? It’s all clean and female verified.”

“Lead the way handsome.”

Criston was glad for the bit of liquid courage still in his system, kissing and hugging on his ‘friend girl’? She was so sweet and touchy, it was driving him mad. He idly wondered if she was all sweet and adorable like that in bed. Thankfully his dick was tucked away.

The brunette keyed into his room, her arms around his waist, face smushed into his back. The junior cooed, “You smell good, you’re the cutest thing I swear, can’t believe this.” Criston eyed her nervously as he stepped in, replying, “You’re a catch, I can’t believe anyone wouldn’t go for you.”

She straightened up, looking into his dark eyes as she admitted, “No, it wasn’t that I was lacking…just searched for the wrong attention I suppose. You’re actually respectful.”

Criston smiled at that, snorting, “Catholic boy values I guess.”

“Or you are a good boy like I said,” she teased, thumbing Criston’s now-flaming cheeks.

“Can I kiss you again?” he eagerly asked.

They locked lips again, her arms around his neck, Criston tilting his face so his damn nose wouldn’t get in the way. His hands were politely shaking at her waist as they made out. Her tongue softly lapped into his mouth, the man gasping and returning the favor.

She moved his shaky hands down to her ass with a snicker. Criston groaned between kisses as he groped her pert ass— fuck, this was heaven! Cole walked her backwards towards the bed, pushing her back onto the freshly made covers. She smiled up at him, lips plump, the led lights from his room casting a neat glow.

“Come on then, can you get the shoes?,” she teased while shucking off her tight black dress. Criston eagerly dropped to the ground, whimpering as his hard cock painfully brushed against the fly of his pants. He quickly undid the thick boots and neatly placed them to the side.

Coming back up, he got an eyeful of pretty fucking titties and manicured hands on his waist. She purred, “Heard you down there, all good babes?” Criston nodded with a swallow and pathetic noise. She cooed while undoing his belt and pants, reminding him of the button down.

Now Criston’s lean body was on display with her own, only underwear between the two. That was perfectly dandy for him as he clambered over her perfect form, now playfully making out on their sides. Every single time his cock would graze the random throw pillow between them he’d whimper into her wet mouth, growing flustered. The front of his briefs were getting sticky.

He tried to not to rut against it, but he had a handful of fucking tit and her soft lips and noises, and Criston was only a weak little bitch! She pulled back to laugh, “You know, I’d much prefer you fuck me making those cute noises. But that’s up to you baby.”

He blinked owlishly, hand moving up her thigh to ask. “You don’t want me to uh- touch you first?”

“Sweetheart, I’m wet enough as is and we can worry about alllll that other stuff later hm?”

Criston made a gutted noise, nodding. She was right, he’d blow all over himself if he got to feel around her pussy for a bit. He rasped, “Yeah, okay, good- lemme get the condom.” He reached over her smaller frame, digging around the side table for the damn condom, trying to put his bravest face on.

Criston made a little ‘aha’ as he snagged the packet, settling onto his haunches and ripping the packet with his teeth. Meanwhile she undid her bra and shucked down wet panties, the slickness hitting his lean thigh. “Hng-fucking shit!,” the brunette accidentally moaned.

“Yeah babes? That’s all for you, here, lemme help.”

She grabbed the tacky lubed condom, rolling it on Criston, her teeth biting into a plump lip. He shuddered through the movement, taught tummy tensing and rolling as he tried to calm down. “There we go, you’re alright, just breathe sweeatheart,” the girl cooed.

Criston nodded haphazardly, easing himself onto his elbows, staring wide-eyed into her own. He wanted to blab about being a virgin, how he was scared of fucking up, how damn pretty and sweet the brunette thought she was. The beauty pecked his lips and cooed, “I know, take it easy, s’fine Criston.”

He jerkily nodded again, lashes fluttering against the faint neon lighting. Criston grabbed his cock and began to ease it into her, gasping wetly. His computer partner took over from there, wrapping soft legs around his waist, murmuring sweet nothings.

Soon he was seated inside her tight, warm, velvet pussy. Criston buried his face between her tits, sniveling and gasping as he tried to fight off every single nerve in his body screaming to let go. He tried to speak, more of a plethora of strangled whines and whimpers escaping his raw throat.

“Shhh, don’t think so much, s’okay Cris, you’re okay,” she hummed while petting soft hands down his heaving flanks and sides. Plush lips planted a kiss on his suddenly wet cheeks. God he was a mess. A whiny, flimsy, wet mess. The way she was squeezing around him made the rational part of his brain realize she enjoyed the pitiful sex still.

“Hn-okay? I- uhohgod- okay?”

She smiled and kissed him, the heels of her feet ushering Criston on. He began to pump slowly, liking the way her soft moan made his chest puff in excitement. The brunette began to build a decent rhythm, panting and moaning between sloppy kisses. He got lost in the feeling, truly.

Soon the cutie was gasping and begging, “Don’t cum yet, j-just, Criston, touch my clit, it’s the nub at the top, yes!, right there!” He listened carefully, thumbing at her swollen nub, panting like a racehorse between suckling at budded nipples. He’d ended up at a breakneck pace, completely over any pretense he was going to make a manly noise tonight.

Criston fought off his orgasm, although it was on top on him now. He moved his lips to hers again, swirling his thumb, thrusting his slim hips into perfect goddamn pussy. He gasped, “Oh, oh, oh God, m’gonna cum baby, m’gonna cummmmm!” The boy would definitely never admit he somewhat squealed.

His cutie whined excitedly under the loud sounds of the bed creaking, lean hips clapping into her softer flesh. She begged, “Right there sweetheart, mm, good boy, good boy! Right there with you!” She clung to his shoulders and tightened down, chanting Criston’s name like a litany.

Criston Cole was pretty sure he saw God when his balls drew up and he slammed back into her welcoming pussy. Sure, there was a condom, but the sophomore’s ears still rung with the choir of angels and he probably sounded like a slip of a thing getting her cunt pounded but it was worth it. So very worth it.

He kept playing with her clit until she milked him, again, crying out happily, throwing her pretty hair back and groaning throatily. “Ohhhhh, f-fuck, oh my god, mmm!,” he eloquently replied to her, feeling another little peak pass through his overstimulated system. He collapsed against her soft frame, panting softly, whimpering every other breath.

Oh god he was crying, this was not the time to be— oh she kissed it away.

“That’s alright baby, you did great, Mhm,” she hummed and nuzzled against his face.

Huh. Maybe he was in love now. Fuck hentai.

[theyluvmiu]

ugh women in STEM am i right??? i am also taking medicine so can i request headcanons with chigiri, nagi, bachira as lab partners?? ty!!

omG I literally gasped when I saw this request, thank you so much I love it!! plus I enjoyed writing this too :>

Women in STEM 🤓💅

Chigiri Hyoma

Oh Chigiri knows what he’s doing alright, he’s a smarty too you know

And you have been longing, praying, for a reliable lab partner instead of taking the lead all the time

You were sick of always explaining to lab partners who kept asking questions as well as excuses, so Chigiri is definitely heaven sent by the Science Gods

“I got it, just write the things I say.” 😳 ok, sir

So you’re left with nothing but a pen and paper in your hands, staring at Chigiri in awe while he busied himself with the experiment

Little did you know, he’s out here to impress you girlie 🤓

Chigiri admires you a lot, and he hates seeing you suffer because of incompetent lab partners

Yes, he does watch you in secret, but not in a weird and creepy way, rather in a ‘omg so smart, what a queen’ way u know

Nagi Seishiro

Oh God, you would always catch Nagi on his phone

The second you look away from him, he whips out his phone that you just had to confiscate it from him

“Be helpful or I’ll throw this phone away.”

Nagi wouldn’t even fight for his phone anymore, he would just do as you say because in all honesty, he does find you hot when you’re being a smarty pants

Nagi can’t contribute any ideas that much, BUT he would always brush away or hold back the strands of hair that would fall to the sides of your face whenever you look into the microscope 🥹

The first time Nagi did that, you repeatedly stumbled over your words for a few minutes whenever you would talk to him

Actually very obedient, tell him to stay still while holding petri dishes as you prep the microscope and he would, completely still just as you said.

He once tried to study a thing or two (to impress you) only to end up getting confused himself and mixing up descriptions. Well, at least he made you laugh ☺️

Bachira Meguru

As much as Bachira hates studying, I do believe that he’s pretty alright in the field of Science

But only with the random trivias 😭 so random that you yourself wouldn’t know about it

Bachira is a sweetheart, he would do his best to help, contribute ideas despite most of them being silly, so you gotta be patient with his antics

He’s like a kid when it’s his turn to look into the microscope omg, you would find yourself smiling sometimes whenever you hear him mumble words like “cool” or “so weird”

Omg please, please do NOT 🙅‍♀️❌ leave him on his own even for a second!

One time, you left Bachira for a bit just to wash your hands and not even a few steps away from him, he was already committing arson

Being scolded doesn’t really affect him that much, but there were times your professor was harsher than usual that it left Bachira pouting the whole class

You had to pat his head occasionally that time and also gave lots of reassurance that he’s the best lab partner (despite him being too chaotic)

[citadelofmythoughts]

It’s both very sad and ironic that cis women specifically who deny or get angry at trans women on the grounds of “they didn’t or don’t suffer the way REAL women do” is proving that they do in fact suffer in similar ways. A woman online who isn’t hurting anyone is being sent hatred either directly or indirectly bc her body does not match What. A Real Woman Looks Like. Which is sownthing cis women struggle with and they’re not only fighting male views on their bodies but other women as well.

Assuming a trans women will hurt you because “she was socialized male and born with a penis which will be used to hurt me” is the same bullshit as “I a white woman feel afraid because this black woman spoke to me in a tone I’m labeling as aggressive and now I will cower an blink tears from my eyes and hope someone stronger will protect me from her”

I’ve been thinking about this at woke actually. I’m afab and was raised by strong black women but I identify very strongly as queer with no big label fitting me but knowing Woman does not fit. Girl used to fit as a child but as an adult Woman does not. And a lot of me wonders if cis women’s fear and hatred of trans women does not stem from They Are Men, at least not all of them, but as a sort of jealousy.

Trans women delight in the way their bodies change. They are so so happy to see developments and document them and tell others they feel safe with. They go shopping for the first time and try out the girly things they didn’t get to experience growing up. The struggles and threats of violence against them are very real but they do not outweigh the euphoria of finally being who they want to be. Who they hoped and feared they could be. Who they love to be.

Cis women and TERFs especially only see the double edged sword. Young girls and their bodies are sexualize. Growing wider hips and breaths is an experience that belongs more to others than the individual depending on if they live in an area that demonizes female bodies. Or if not they get that shit from television. Their bodies are used as weapons and it takes a long time to unlearn that and to live for themselves in a way that’s not tinged with shame.

Trans women if they start hormones are outwardly joyful. That’s not saying being out as trans is only fun and that young boys are sexualized or aren’t given under expectations. But cis women don’t think about that. They only see the current adulthood joy and not the adolescence awkwardness or pain or suffering. Feeling like your body was wrong. Having people close to you and loving them and them loving you back but not all of you. Not being allowed to do certain things bc of The Gender. And there is no time boy equivalent for boys.

Cis women see trans women joy and gender euphoria and instead of going “how do I find that for myself. Am I in an environment that is still holding an axe over my head? That little girl who was scolded for having a body that changed against her will. How do I heal her” they blame trans women and paint them as aggressors or predators in hiding so they don’t have to confront the fact that despite the societal challenges being a women is so so wonderful. They deny themselves the joy of womanhood for the sake of gatekeeping it via suffering or arbitrary biology.

Not every cis women has suffered the same. Some cis women tear down others the same way men do. There is no monolith of how women move through life. But to acknowledge and internalize that? To let go of the idea that YES society does not treat women fairly but you as an individual have the power to change that on a social level by sticking up for others until the respectful outweigh the disrespectful? Letting go of that means realizing that there is more to being a women than Being Born With a Specific Body. That it’s not something you have to earn by being hurt the right ways. And they cannot comprehend that

Damn anon, this was just incredible. If there was a way to do it, I'd hug you.

You're completely correct about my experiences as a trans woman. It's been said that when you start transitioning it's a second puberty and that's not just physical, I've been living the years I never got to have when I was a teen and with that comes awkwardness but also so much joy.

I wish more people would realize that hating others and making them feel awful about who they are isn't going to fix their own pain.

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

So your opinion on Sokeefe and Fitz like YES EXACTLY. .... What are your opinions on the contents of Keefe's character itself?

Tehe thank you <3

I'm SO glad that post was well received, because I was sweating BULLETS.

To preface this post, I must admit I have been a Fitz girlie since day one. A lot of my issues with Keefe stem from the WAY he is written, and the way the narrative favors him and justifies him. Fitz comes into play, because Fitz and Keefe are used as narrative devices to contrast one another. However that was not always the case. In the earlier books, when they were still close friends, they agreed on a lot and seemed to know each other well. And then BOOM- Neverseen hits, Keefe is super reckless (even if his heart was in the right place) and is immediately forgiven for it. He became a fan favorite, and thus the decline in Fitz's original character begins. Shannon had to ruin Fitz's character to prop Keefe's up in the later books-- which comes off as supremely lazy to me. And I just cannot get over the complete character assassination of Fitz. Which again, not really a KEEFE issue, but more so my beef with the writing and execution.

That was a giant preface. I'm sorry. anway-

In previous posts about Keefe, I've gone over the way he often airs out and announces Sophie's emotions to the room, and he uses the fact that he can feel her emotions to get her to share secrets with him that she otherwise wouldn't. This is never seen as a bad thing, but when Fitz- who is not privy to Sophie's emotions- asks her how she's feeling or for her thoughts, it's suddenly 'invasive' and 'pushy'.

I've also gone over how Keefe lets Ro, his bodyguard, just verbally insult and berate Fitz, his supposed best friend, and never comes to his defense. Keefe- while consumed with his own issues, is often dismissive of others' issues. Which I don't blame him for- but he's never held accountable for it.

With quotes like (and I'm paraphrasing) "Yeah but you get to go back to perfect Vacker Land when all is said and done"- this was directed at Fitz when Fitz was trying to bring perspective and comfort. I believe this happened in either Neverseen or Lodestar. He also refuses to relate to Fitz or meet him in the middle on any issues ever. When Fitz points out that they both have traitors in the family, Keefe is quick to scoff and dismiss this olive branch.

Another moment is when he tells Tam that the role of "Mommy/daddy issues is taken" and in inadvertent ways, pokes fun at Tam's coping mechanisms. in front of everyone.

And then you get moments, like in Flashback, where Fitz directly tells Sophie he doesn't feel like he's allowed to be hurt the way he is- because he doesn't have it 'as bad' as other characters. <- huh wonder where that comes from.

Just not a great look imo.

I am also just really tired of the 'I use humor to hide how broken I am' archetype often found in literature. And while it may be relatable to many people, and a reason why he is a favorite- I'm just tired of seeing it, and I think it could have been done better. But it is a middle grade series, so of course it's a bit dumbed down.

I also get annoyed when Keefe butts in to any moment concerning Sophie because he just HAS to get a word in. He HAS to prove why he 'Knows Foster best'. All of the characters do this to an extent, but he does it the most and it's like- STAWP PLEASE.

Keefe is also just... blatantly mean in his own POV? Especially towards Fitz. He calls him boringly perfect, mentions how he wants to punch him, internally agrees with Ro's jabs etc-

and the other half of his POV is just ruminating on his sucky life and the 'cute worry line between Foster's brows'

and maybe I'm not being fair to him. Because LISTEN- I don't want him to be a perfect character. My issue is that he's obviously NOT perfect, but the narrative never makes him out to be imperfect. It runs circles around itself justifying him and his actions- but doesn't offer the same grace to any of the other characters besides Sophie.

[batemanofficial]

tagged by @gayassbenaffleck (thanks!!! :3c)

1. are you named after anyone? yes! im named after one of my moms favorite authors

2. when was the last time you cried? uhhhh tbh i don't really remember but probably when i was cramming to finish my thesis film LMAO

3. do you have kids? no human children but i have a very large and very stubborn dog and a very judgmental cat and i love them both very much

4. what sports do you play / have you played? i played every sport under the sun as a kid (soccer, basketball, gymnastics, cheer, fencing) (not all at once tho!!) but didn't really enjoy any of them for very long bc i am a couch potato at heart 👍 i love to take long walks tho so that's how i get my exercise

5. do you use sarcasm? me? no! never! [lying]

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people? their sense of style! i really enjoy expressing myself through what i wear (<- girl who is wearing sweatpants and a t shirt i got for free) so i love to see how other people do the same!

7. what’s your eye color? grey! they used to be bluer when i was a kid but now they're kind of greenish grey. i have that yellow/amberish ring around the center which i think is kinda cool

8. scary movies or happy endings? scary movies!!!!! im rly into 70s/early 80s horror atm (david cronenberg my best friend mr. cronenberg)

9. any talents? writing, cooking, drawing, sewing, video editing, haterism

10. where were you born? kentucky! im on a mission to erase that horrible banjo riff that everybody seems to use in films abt kentucky from existence

11. what are your hobbies? i do a lot of crochet, and im getting back into cooking now that im out of school! im in my hashtag bread era :^) i also draw (im rly into écorchés atm) and sew (im making a jumpsuit as we speak! dont tell my boss that i sew on the clock)

12. do you have any pets? see number 3!

13. how tall are you? 5'8" :P

14. favorite subject in school? english and history! i am not a stem girlie by any stretch. i just got my degree in film production tho!!

15. dream job? anything where i get to work on a film set (i do post production/video editing right now and it SUCKSSSS) or anything in a kitchen! i could be a line cook for the rest of my life and be satisfied tbh

tagging: @bat-bestie @brainde4th @keevan @adelidae @sleepingfancies @shelbybunny @elevatortheory

[closettedsubboy]

The good boy/girl paradox.

You know something I’ve been thinking about. If a submissive asks “am I a good boy/girl?” needing that reassurance when they are sad,depressed, lonely, etc is that predatory towards doms? I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I want to be good, but is my need to be good bad? Like is my happiness coming from this person because they think I’m a good boy/girl? And is that bad if it’s a no or yes? Should a sub be happy even if they are a bad boy/girl?

It’s like from my first question if I come in with a negative and add a positive does it nullify itself and create a sense of neutrality to the sub? And if it’s predatory does that make it two negatives making it worse? Because if you add two negatives it’s still negative.

Then with the dilemma of if my happiness is or isn’t coming from my dom what is the integer? Is yes a negative and no a positive or are they backwards. Does this make it into an X variable? If so does does good boy + predatory = X?

P.S. I need the STEM girlies to help me out on this one. 😥

P.S.S in all seriousness is it predatory?

[youraverageaemondsimp]

actor tom bennett x south-east asian chinese actress stem girlie who is doing her phd headcanon. this is inspired from the brazil event. instead of brazil, the studio sent them to reader's birth country, which is in south-east asia, to promote the show. the reader gets to flex her linguistic skills in her birth country, which led the studio to have an increase in viewership.

tom bennett: *talks about his character and his approach as an actor. cockily and openly flirts on reader on stage through witty banter. praises her work in both stem and acting that are both applied in the show. openly admires her ability to speak multiple languages. openly admires her comparison between acting and music and her defence why the stem field needs creativity, how the tech field is arguably art as well and how hard she had to fight to keep all of these careers. openly admires how she calls out the condescending attitudes of her fellow academics towards the creative field and for labelling her art career as a "little hobby". openly admires her nerdiness of her listing the similarities between HOTD and Ancient Chinese history and the parallels between the show they are in and the political chinese dramas. laughs at her reason on why she decided to join the show, which is because it reminds her of the political cdramas she loves so much. loving the way her eyes lit up whenever she talks about her country's food and traditional dresses. praises how beautiful she looks with her modernised traditional dress. praises her classical pianist and violin skills that she used for the show. praises her beautiful singing voice that was used for the soundtracks of the show. refer to this video to how i imagine her singing voice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMmVgNRh-aM *

reader: sorry for rambling, guys! i just turned this into a masterclass for music, tech and history!

tom bennett: no worries, love! it's cute! and adorable! 😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉

audience: *notices the way he looks at her* awwwwwwww! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

host: are you two dating? is the kdrama coming out?

reader: *laughing* nahhhh! we are colleagues. he doesn't like me that way. and the kdrama is NEVER coming out, guys.

host: uhhhhhh, he does like you.

reader: *laughs* no he doesn't!

host: yes he does!

audience: yes he does!

the entire goddamned world: yes he does! 🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

Tom joining Aemond in trying to convince the reader that they like her

She doesn't believe it one bit, JUST ACCEPT IT

HAHSHAHD

omg imagine a love triangle between tom, reader and aemond 😳

[femdomliterature]

FemLit 0556 - My Wife’s Body ... Time to change her mindset

My wife, like millions of women in this world, has a poor body self-image. She hates her body, in fact, and never stops beating herself up over her extra pounds, or her veins, or her wrinkles, or countless other aspects of her form.

It has always been thus. A few years back, I found a photo of her that I’d taken a decade ago, when we were first dating. She looked at it sadly, and said, “I’d give anything to be that thin again.” Stunned, I gave her a wide-eyed stare and replied, “All you did back then was complain about how much you hated how you looked. Just like you do now.” She admitted this was true, and shrugged, knowing that things will probably never change.

I wish, for both our sakes, that things would change. I’ve tried on numerous occasions to get her to see something different when she looks in the mirror, something more in tune with the reality of her body. I’ve begged her to try to see herself through my eyes, or at least to take my word for it when I tell her that she’s gorgeous.

Because she is. My wife is drop-dead, eye-popping, tougue-lolling-out, double-finger-whistling, instant tent-in-the-pants gorgeous. The first time we kissed , I actually got light-headed. When she crawls into bed, naked, I am overwhelmed. Every day, when she gets dressed and undressed, I can’t help but stare, like a schoolboy catching sight of the girl next door through a bedroom window. Sometimes I can’t believe my luck, and wonder how it is that I somehow conned this beautiful, sexy woman into being my wife.

I tell her all this, but my opinion on the matter seems to have little value. Still, it’s the truth: I love my wife’s body. Every fucking square centimeter of it. Even if she never can, I do. And I always will.

So, Wifey, if you are reading this, let me say:

I love your smile, because it is rare, and because it is dazzling. I love the mineral-brown of your eyes, and how they go so perfectly with the deep olive of your mostly-Jewish skin and the sweeping dark of your hair. I love your nose, wry, sarcastic, smart-assed. I love your chin, the ideal size and shape for my cupped hand.

I love your lips, a washed-out watercolor red, stretching so carelessly around some shocking swear word or bit of catty gossip. I love your neck, muscled, serious.

I love your breasts, and how they hang down, heavy and full, when you are on top of me in bed. I love to let them rest weightily on my flattened palms, to press them upwards against your chest as you lower yourself towards mine. I love to grip them around the sides like they are dangling fruit, and stroke them up and down, as if warming them up for play.

I love your pale, round, fleshy ass, and how it looks peeking out from beneath your nightgown. I love the contrast between the white skin and black lace on the few occasions you’ve worn those hot panties I bought you. I love the very topmost end of your ass crack, where the thin line fans out like the delta of a north-flowing river to water the smooth, flat plain of your lower back, which I also love.

I love the perfect slope of the little hill between your legs, and the puffy bush of your pubic hair, where I delight in resting my hand, or my head. I love every fold and crease and line of your cunt, the pinks and peaches and browns and reds, the slick of sweat and moisture, the springy curls of almost-black that tangle and pull and stretch.

I love the wide curve of your belly, especially when I have to look up to see it. I love that smile where the cheek or your ass meets the back of your thigh, and constantly want to tuck my hand in there. I love your legs, not fragile girly stems, but the legs of a real woman who has crouched down behind home plate in a little-league game, hiked the Kalalau Trail in Kauai, and yes, kicked a hole in the bedroom drywall when you were particularly angry with me.

I love the top of your head, which I can so easily kiss, because I’m taller than you. I love your feet, even though you almost never wear the cool shoes and boots I buy you. I love how your soles feel to my tongue, and how you pull away when I do that.

But back to your ass. I love, love, love that ass. It really is amazing…

Your body, wife, is magnificent. I must look at it, and hold it, and touch it, and taste it. I want and need it, because it is beautiful.

And I want you to accept that it is beautiful too…

[thatdesklamp]

WAIT OMG-

been reading intrinsic warmth for a WHILE and your writing is top tier!! i always wondered to myself every time i’d read a chapter why the writing just STICKS, yk? i’m a MAJOR book girlie, i read 24/7.

AND THEN IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN I READ ONE OF YOUR TAGS THAT YOU PUT UP ON ONE OF YOUR POSTS WHERE YOU WERE ANSWERING A QUESTION FROM ANOTHER LOVELY READER AND I SEE THAT YOU TOOK AN ENGLISH A LEVEL?

first of all (not 100% sure on this) but i’m pretty sure only british ppl take gcses, a levels, etc. YOU’RE BRITISH?

i feel like i’ve met my other half rn over something so tiny but yeah. IT LITERALLY EXPLAINS WHY YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD:

i could point out the NUMBER of times i’ve seen juxtaposition, symbolism, foreshadowing in your fic to someone if they’d asked me to point it out for them. at first i thought you might’ve done it unknowingly, and then i decided that nope, bc foreshadowing is such a BIG writing technique that it simply couldn’t have been by accident.

it’s one thing to know about a writing technique and another to actually be able to SUCCESSFULLY incorporate it into your writing. if it isn’t clear enough, i’m saying that you did it AMAZINGLY. you’ve got a natural talent and i’m envioussss (in a supporting way ofc 😭).

you should really look into making your own book, and i think you EXCEL at the supernatural aspect of plot in stories. your writing is so unique and different yet so warm, it reminds me of autumn (my favourite season).

idk how to end such a long message, ultimately i don’t have a reason for typing this up and shit. ik you have tons of people probably saying the same thing and it might just get repetitive for you, but i wouldn’t feel comfortable not being part of said bunch-of-ppl-probably-saying-the-same-thing.

oh! and take your SWEET TIME updating. it’s your story, your fic, your writing. the ONLY thing we readers can give you as a payback and thanks is time, patience, and understanding <3333

RAHHH BRITTANIA 💪💪💪💪

Agh. Yes—I’m British (English to be precise, sweet sweet caroline etc), hence the use of ‘u’s in words like ‘colour’ and ‘humour’, and also why everyone’s parents are their ‘father’ or ‘mother’ and not mum/dad. ‘Mom’ feels too American but ‘mum’ feels too rah engerland, yk? I’ve mentioned previously that I’m looking forward to writing fics where the characters are actually from England and where I’m actually allowed to write them the way I talk, mostly. Good lord am I excited.

And yes lol I took English for an A-Level. Bloody smashed it too, if I get to brag, mwahaha. Didn’t take it any further (I’ve also previously said that I’m a # woman in stem uni student, which is true), but I still write a killer essay imo. Give me 10 minutes to do a refresher on ‘Othello’ (it’s been a while okay) and I can talk for donkeys about his tragic fall and how much of a wanker he is. Which he is! I’m a Desdemona defender for life.

You say ‘natural talent’. PLS. No!! God no. Not at all. I wish—that would’ve made it a lot easier, but whatever I can do rn is down to bloody years of toiling away on my shitty little laptop, I promise. I’ve got another anon ask that asked about some writing tips so I’ll do the bulk of them there but my number 1 will always and forever be to practise. Whatever skill I have now has been earned over the many years. You don’t even want to see some of the stuff that will never grace my ao3 page (atla had me in a chokehold through covid and I have never been the same).

But you are genuinely so complimentary: this is so so lovely of you. Thank you?? It’s really weird being someone who writes and also someone who enjoys analysing literature; you’re right, half of the ‘techniques’ are intentional (the number of times I’ve flicked through some chapters’ drafts and thought, ‘fucks sake none of this makes sense, I need to add some decent foreshadowing or none of this will make sense in two chapters’), but also so much of my writing is just thinking, ‘hmm, this doesn’t really feel right. No no, I don’t like the vibe of this. I want this to feel more GRAAHHH and less lalalala. Lemme change this up a bit’. Whether that leads to the whole, short sentences->speeds up the pace of the reader when reading the section->increased tension, mimics actual fight encounter, etc etc (all the stuff you blag on about in eng lit), then maybe that counts as intentional? And maybe not.

Making my own book? That’s lovely of you to say but I also really don’t have any ideas for anything non-fanfic’y! Lol. I love a good bit of canon compliance, that’s my issue. That being said—hey, another eng a level reference—I’ve made multiple references here to being the world’s #1 ‘Atonement’ hater. Unfortunately, it also lives damn rent free in my head and I’ve got the bare bones of a WW2-era, perhaps epistolary, longform fic buzzing around. (Fandom: Marauders. I’m a disgrace but here we go). I’ve written nothing for it and maybe I never will, but that’s one of the only things I can see as being more standalone from original canon. Anyway: it’s the fanfic life for me. Ali Hazelwood’s life is but a distant dream.

But anyway! Thank you again for your lovely words. The next IW chapter will take a very long time, I have to be frank, so thank you for the reassurance that that’s not absolutely disgraceful lmao T_T Thanks again!! <3

[urfavpuckbunny]

𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟!

hey guys!! here are some fun facts about me!

i grew up in new york but now im going to uni in new jersey (go devils) and my major is political science (WE HEART WOMEN IN STEM!!!!!!!)

my fav tv shows are gossip girl, dynasty, and gilmore girls...yes i am a jess girl no i do not take criticism <3

my fav movies are legally blonde, clueless, and mean girls

im a coquette girly at heart, my fav color is pink (could you tell??)

my fav thing in the world is cole caufield's dick

my place place is montreal (funny right?)

and my fav number is 22 (coincidently same number as cole 🤭🤨)

my fav activity is getting dicked down by cole caufield

my fav artists are: Taylor swift, Lizzy MCalpine, and Noah Kahan

ive been a hockey player lover since birth, ive seen the nico

hischier and jack hughes play last season (01/13/22) i know yall are jealous

fav teams are: MONTREAL CANADIENS, new jersey devils and the new york islanders

[catoptro-pho-bia]

i do see plenty of people complaining at tryst six venom (p. douglas) being homophobic and fetishizing lesbians, that the women seem "written by a man" and how it is an overall disgusting book, and after reading and analysing it a couple times (because i did enjoy it for... various reasons) i want to have my take on it:

• from what i know, penelope is popular for her bullying romance/s, which (exception tsv) are pretty much heterosexual. i don't say it is a healthy manner to approach romance, i say it is a pattern of her writing that didn't show up when she published a wlw book

• regarding homophobia (because Clay used slurs), i want to ask a question before my argument: how do you see homophobic people act? or talk about queer people? Clay, as a characther, for 70% percent of the book, she's fighting with self homophobia, which i am sorry is this a new word for you? how many queer people fight with this on a daily basis? there are plenty issues with the book, if i like it doesn't mean i can't approach the actual issues, but homophobia because there are slurs in the book? CLAY IS HOMOPHOBIC? RAISED IN A HOMOPHOBIC SOCIETY? how do you expect her to think/talk? don't get me started with the enviroment that allowed/pushed her to grow this way in her teenagehood. they were pretty much explained if you actually TAKE YOUR TIME and read through the lines :D

• another thing is fetishising wlw which i do have some words to add. in olivia's pov, the way she process some events/ interactions, tell the story how she feels being fetishised, realising people can take advantage of your sexuality, besides the bullying, and how pretty much it reflects the real world. you think it's disgusting? it happens daily to queer people. is it toxic for a straight (i dont think she is too straight based on how she wrote some scenes but lets not assume peoples sexuality😭) woman to write about it? yes, IF the character would be made to normalise it. liv didn't. 60% of her development is based on her fighting it, being tired of it, running from it, teasing with it, etc. all the stages, call it what you want. it happens daily. it happens irl.

• the "women that seem written by men" argument pissed me off the most, because in media, from which i've seen, often the lesbian couples are made from one girly/femme girl and the other is kinda masculine/butch or stem which feeds more into the stereotype of "who is the man in relationship?" and that a wlw couple has to contain one feminine and one masculine side. i don't have any issues with these couples. but the fact that both were pretty feminine as style and personality, doesn't mean they were made for the male gaze/ by a male gaze. femmes can fall for other femmes too, you know.

• i think penelope showed through clay how it is to battle inner homophobia (especially as a queer person) and the fear of rejection from the loved ones, and how this can turn into hate and make you do disgusting things. make it make sense how it's homophobic 😭😭😭

there are, as well, lots of problematic parts: from the marker scene (that made me give an instant -1 without discussion, unnecessary scene), from liv accepting a bit TOO MUCH in the name of love -but it's a common thing in these kind of books-, livs brothers that piSSED ME OFF they are annoying, to the almost r*pe scene, i mean i got the idea of it but she could send the message a bit more.. differently, aaaand etc.

are liv and clay one my confort characthers? yes. is the book problematic to some extent? yes. is the book homophobic/fetishising wlw? i'm sorry but it doesn't make sense to me HOW.

you don't like a book, that's cool, but from that to shitting on an author (which i somehow get bc she isn't my favourite as well but you do you) for the opposite she tried to show in a book? :)))) cmon