A happier galaxy where the disaster lineage is somewhat less on fire constantly and senior padawan Obi-wan has developed a fixation on Mandalorians:
Sometimes Feemor regretted just how much he had given away when he had spent 5 expensive months bribing a traumatised Obi-wan to call him brother when he was 14. His dignity, for one, his access codes and shadow cloaking techniques, another. So he had a very dignified reaction when he was awoken to the shine of his younger brother's eyes in the dark at the foot of his bed. "I wou-stop screaming it's just me-I would like a Mandalorian. How do I procure one?"
"How the fuck should I know?"
Obi-wan scowled as if Feemor was being difficult, he wasn't, he wasn't quite awake enough for that yet. "You're a shadow, you're supposed to know things."
Ah, if being a shadow granted you the secrets of the universe instead of just a great many planetary governments, Feemor wouldn't spend so much time wondering what dark rituals Dooku had committed to result in Qui-gon Jinn. (He already knew what regular rituals Qui-gon had committed to result in Obi-wan)
"I know that I'm about to punt you out of my room right now."
"...My birthday is coming up, I believe I deserve compensation for all the traumas."
Obi-wan's eyes were very big now. Feemor sighed. He flopped back down into bed. He resisted the urge to pull his blankets back up and roll over. 'Oh sure when it's time to see mind healers everything's fine but now-'
"Shouldn't you be asking Master then?"
"Master would not approve of how I plan to use the Mandalorian."
He squinted at Obi-wan for a long moment. Obi-wan stared back. He did some quick mental maths and tried not to feel old. Eh. Fine. Feemor swung his legs out of bed. "You had me at 'Master wouldn't approve'."
"Do you think I could get one by walking into little Keldabe and asking very nicely?"
As it turns out, yes he could. A few too many in fact, apparently Jedi, their ancestral enemy, in the Mando district attracted attention, who knew? Feemor knew, Feemor would have known if only he had been properly awake when this semblence of a plan was proposed. He stalked through the cantina towards Obi-wan who was leaning slightly forwards against a pillar, ah...speaking, to a Mandalorian with painted orange armour while surrounded by a larger crowd of Mandos. At least they seem mostly amused. He ignored the youngers squawk as he yanked the back of his robes so that he moved away from the Mandalorian and spun him around.
"You cannot solve centuries of animosity by batting your eyelashes."
"I'm not batting my eyelashes " Obi-wan sniffed," I'm shaking my ass, there's decidedly more effort involved."
"I miss when I was an only child." Feemor sighed deeply. He used the force to scruff the neck of Obi-wan's robes and dangle him slightly in the air. He ignored the shouting from beside him and bowed politely to the staring Mandos. "My apologies for the disturbance, this will not happ-" He considered his brother who was now yelling out his personal comm code with a wink. " Please excuse us, this very probably will happen again, we shall workshop it. May the force be with you all."
I don't have a fully planned AU but it is Codywan!!! cause I love those bitches but have some more dialogue I came up with for this AU. I'm imagining them both as like 20-23, Obi's close to knighthood. He's still a padawan for this because I think him causing Qui-gon headaches is funny. Feemor fully thinks this complicated courtship dance Obi's created is funny, he likes studying his little brother like a bug, he just wasn't prepared for him to just waltz into little kelbade and start hitting on people, though he really should have been.
Hand wavy timeline with Jaster alive but the clones are still clones, Jango was kidnapped and held in stasis or something, Jaster claimed them as Mandos. This is really just about Obi's first and biggest diplomatic achivement being friendly Jedi-Mando relations purely cause he was in his thot era. This also somehow saves the galaxy from the sith.
I like to imagine that Cody's brothers recorded that little exchange between Fee and Obi on their helmets and uploaded it online where it went viral on MandoNet before going viral galaxywide because wait holy shit is that a Jedi saying that????. Qui-gon gets called in for a very weird meeting where the council's like ok so the entire holonet has seen your padawan being horny on main but also this is like the biggest jump in our diplomatic relationship with the Mandos in centuries so like can we keep this up somehow? This results in Obi-wan being holonet famous, first through vode recordings but then he starts a space tumblr and twitter account and he's famous now. Then his friends and other jedi start accounts because wait we're allowed to do that? and those become big as well and this is literally the best PR the jedi have had in hundreds of years. the holonet loves them. the sith are fuming.
Obi-wan, scoffing: What were they gonna do? Shoot me?
Feemor: Yes.
Obi-wan: I don't believe in blasters.
Bly: ...like as a concept...?
Obi-wan: No, spiritually.
Obi-wan: I'm sure there's a nice Mandalorian we can find for you
Feemor: I'm not sure those 2 words belong together
Obi-wan: No of course not, we can't find a nice one, then they'd be all alone, we need to find an absolute bastard of one so that you two match :)
Obi-wan: Oh so Master gets to take in pathetic life forms but I don't? This one's already domesticated!
Wolffe: Debatable.
Feemor: Cody's a person! Not a stray tooka!
Obi-wan: Master takes in stray people all the time! That's how he got me!
Qui-gon: How do you explain this behaviour Padawan ?
Obi-wan: The force pushed me towards the Mandalorians Master, it was quite insistent on me developing better relations with them given our difficult history.
Feemor: Fascinating, please do elaborate, I'd love to hear the theological implications of a force-assigned kink.
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Another Ghost Dragon Prompt? Indeed.
The Ward had made a mistake. Had stolen something that had caused the very Skies to lash out, entire worlds at risk from their actions.
Time Itself shrieked in rage at the loss of Its child, or at least that's how every magic user- and the speedsters, pale and shaken and looking sick- had described it.
Someone had taken the young prince of the Infinite, and it was not the Tyrant King, long since sealed away, that lead the charge, but the Queen Regent that many had long since forgotten.
Many forgot that it was not the Dark who courted Time, but Time who courted the Dark. That It was just, if not more so, merciless as Its partner, and would Devour worlds should Its child- still with newdeath soft scales- was not returned.
Which meant that for the heroes, there was now a Clock ticking down ever so quietly. They had to take care of what was a government branch, had to deal with consequences of going over the law, or their World would End in dragon fire.
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Danny:
Pariah Dark:
Fright Knight:
Danny: Look, I can explain-
Pariah Dark places a hand on Danny's shoulder, crouching down to his level (or as much as he can anyway) and giving the boy the proudest, most loving look he is able. "Son. I am so proud of you."
"Hah?" Danny asked, intelligently.
Fright Knight nodded. "I am as well." He even went as far as wiping an imaginary-no wait that's an actual tear. "It is just- It is so beautiful to see my nephew following in our footsteps." He sniffed, taking a handkerchief from... Somewhere, to further dab at his eyes.
"Hah??" Danny, once more, said intelligently.
"It is alright son." Pariah Dark continued, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "You did extremely well. Never let another say you did not. I am sure Time would be most pleased as well."
"What the fu-" Danny began.
"Language." Came the instant reply from them both as Fright Knight casually bisected an alien.
"Funny cheese puffs are you guys talking about??" Danny very shamelessly changed his sentence and went with.
"You started a war-"
"And cultivated fear."
"-Were you unaware?"
Danny blinked. Once. Then twice.
"Nuh uh." He said maturely. "I didn't do shii-" Faced with the glares of two angry parental figures, he very carefully chose his next words. "Ship. I'm innocent."
"He's even denying responsibility." Fright Knight dabbed away a few more tears and sniffed. "Truly, he reminds me of when you were younger my king."
"Haha!" Pariah Dark laughed, standing up and dusting himself off. "Truly! A prince after my own core!" Pariah patted Danny on the head, ruffling his hair. "Yes, my little 'ling is as innocent as he appears." Pariah winked knowingly.
Danny has some choice words for who let him know how to do that.
"Now..." War rubbed his chin as he looked out over the amount of carnage taking place in the city below from the fight between the aliens and the League of Justice. "Fear, do you think they would oppose to us joining?"
"That would depend on which side we fight for." Fear inclined his head, kicking a corpse off the side of the building they stood on. "Though I would rather not have this planet destroyed as we have an arrangement later this week."
"Ah, with Kents, yes?" War chuckled, cracking his knuckles. "Up for a wager, Fear?"
"What kind?"
"Least kills has to attend with no food."
"Hey wait a minute-" Danny tried to interject.
"This is not within my favor." Fear said calmly. "But I shall take you up on this offer regardless, my king."
And just like that, they were off.
Danny stood there for a moment, questioning if he should really step in and try to stop them. What would the Justice League say when the Ancients of War and Fear join in on a totally out of the blue invasion that Danny totally didn't have a hand in. How would the GIW react to this?
Then Danny thought. 'Wait, I have nothing to do with this.' And then decided this... Isn't his problem.
Then went back to sleep.
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