#you aren't your label

[paranorahjones]

Okay media consumers, I'm gonna ask you to follow some lines of logic with me.

For good stories to exist, there needs to be conflict.

For conflict to happen, one or more characters will almost always need to make bad choices.

Just because a character makes one or a few bad choices does not automatically earn them the label of "toxic".

Just because said character does not experience immediate consequences due to their bad choices does not mean that they never will (especially if their story is not yet finished), nor does it mean that their creator is romanticizing or portraying their bad choices in a good light.

I mean, come on. You guys love a good slow burn romance. The least you can do is get used to the idea of slow burn conflict.

Edit:

DO NOT INTERPRET THIS POST AS ME SAYING THAT YOU SHOULDN'T DISAGREE WITH ANY CHARACTER'S ACTIONS EVER. DO NOT DO THAT.

I can tell some of you are already thinking about doing that.

Don't.

Please.

I don't have the energy for that.

[knifearo]

reminder to everyone that trauma IS a valid reason to use aspec labels. "i don't know if i'm aspec or just traumatized—" protip!!! you can be both!!!! the thing about labels is that they're not immutable states of being that you're born as. they're literally just words that we use to describe our lived experiences, and if asexual or aromantic or any related label feel relevant to the way that you experience attraction, whether it's a result of trauma or not, they're there for you to use. having trauma as a cause does not invalidate the fact that someone is experiencing lesser or no attraction. that's still the aspec experience babey. use the label if you want it's there for you <3

[sadakodx]

making my own post instead of cluttering up op's: yeah theyfab isn't a slur and as someone who like, technically Falls Under The Perimeters (they/them, Assigned Y'know) i feel insane whenever i see people who do Not try to tell me "oh my god did you know theyfab is a BIG EVIL SLUR made by those BIG EVIL MA-- I MEAN WOMEN to OPPRESS YOU????????" like. i don't know if you knew this but sometimes marginalized people make fun of people with more privilege than them. if you don't consider a trans person making light fun of a cis gay person homophobia, then surely you have enough brainpower to deduce that a trans woman/a non-binary person assigned [indistinct mumbling] lightly dunking on a group of trans people far more socially accepted in lgbt spaces than they are is not equivalent to decades of transmisogyny and, in fact, is often Funny As Hell

edit: some dumbfuck left an essay worth of text on this i didnt read so if you're a man and you're reading this i hope you have a terrible day <3 OHHHH ISNT THAT SO SCARY OOOOOO [WIGGLING MY FINGERS AT YOU] I'M OPPRESSING YOU NOW MISANDRY IS REAL BECAUSE SOMEONE MADE YOU SAD ON THE INTERNET OOOOOO

[lgbtlunaverse]

Everytime I see discourse about kink or nudity at pride I get reminded of the time I went to pride a few years ago with my mother and my sibling- who was 17 at the time and is somewhere on the ace spectrum- and about halfway through, the march went under a gatehouse. Some inhabitants were sitting in their open windows watching the parade. Right before we crossed under them, one of them decided to just... take her shirt off. She wasn't wearing a bra. And you know what happened? People whooped and cheered, and then kept walking. That's it. And there were kids around!! They didn't care. My sibling didn't care. My mother, a cisgender heterosexual woman in her 50s, did not care.

This stuff stops being such a big deal when you go offline. It was basically the same amount of boob you'd see in any perfume ad. No one was like 'what about the children?' And if you didn't wanna see it and looked down, no one would've called you a puritanical prude for that. And it helps to remind myself of that everytime I see kink at pride discourse getting rehashed because at actual pride, people don't care.

[our-lesboy-experience]

Ok one thing I want to say is as a trans man I’m personally uncomfortable if a lesbian wants to date me. However I don’t mind trans men who do date lesbians because that’s totally cool, I just wish people wouldn’t make a big fuss about it when I say that “I” don’t want to (im super attracted to men being one reason) and my childhood best friend who’s a lesbian is cool with it too

yeah!! it always confuses me when people say lesbians or trans men "can't do xyz," because you know. people CAN do whatever they want regardless of sexuality. and when people ask you if you if you think they can it's like....yes?? because they have free will?? I can't control someone's personal decisions??

[noa-ciharu]

Discourses over shipping are so funny to me. You can say you dgaf what others ship and get someone so mad they block you and make call out post about how dare you being a reasonable human being and mind your own business online

[sapphicteaparty]

i've NEVER seen a single good faith discussions about pleather on this website and i want ppl to think critically for one second about the way businesses talk about their products. "vegan leather" is purely a marketing term and nothing else. it was invented by the fashion industry and it has nothing to do with vegans or veganism.

"vegan leather" is basically made of polyester (a type of plastic), but crucially a lot of clothes nowadays are made of polyester either fully or partially because it's cheaper to produce. so of course clothing companies are going to be producing and marketing things that make them more money.

these products are not even targeting vegans, they're making an average customer feel better about their purchases, same way they are now putting "eco" labels on some of their organic cotton clothing. it's just greenwashing. NOTHING in fast fashion is eco friendly in any way - this whole industry is extremely wasteful an exploitative on every level. when are ppl going to realize that these companies just say anything they can to make it seem like they care about anything other than their profit margins. because they don't.

my wish is that ppl that talk about how bad pleather is and how vegans are apparently responsible for all of the microplastic pollution in the world also talked or cared even a little bit about the absolutely horrific abuse and exploitation that happens in the clothing and fast fashion industry. talk about how this industry consistently fails (or outright refuses) to pay its workers a living wage or how they don't provide them humane working conditions - and how that led to thousands of garment workers dying and getting injured when a garment factory collapsed in Bangladesh (and that's not the only tragedy this industry is directly responsible for).

also microplastics are only the tip of the iceberg if you want to talk about the pollution that the clothing industry is responsible for (toxic chemicals and pesticides used in cotton production, garment dyes, the disposal of textile waste etc) - all of which has direct human costs tied to it.

but if your only concern ever was microplastics that clothes can shed then great! avoid all polyester and plastic clothing. but did you know textiles aren't even the primary microplastic contaminants? it's plastic bags, bottles and fishing nets by far. most ppl can't always avoid these plastic items in daily life. but do you eat fish? vegans don't.

i'm just so tired of the pleather discussion focusing on the wrong thing (vegans) when there are so many more aspects about the clothing industry and plastic pollution that never get addressed when they should. and the amount of misinformation on these topics is just laughable at this point. ppl sure enjoy reblogging posts that confirm their biases and free them from having to critically engage with complicated issues because it's so easy to just blame a group of ppl for it.

anyway if you're concerned about ethical clothing (i hope you are) then basically these are your best options:

wear what you already have and don't buy new clothes unless necessary

get second hand clothes

get upcycled clothes

this may seem a bit extreme but these are the only options that don't result in new clothes and textiles being produced because there is an overproduction issue in the clothing industry which is why over 80% of clothes end up in landfills. obviously these options aren't viable for everyone all the time but if the goal is sustainability then that's just the reality of things for now.

you can also do things like mend your clothes so they last longer, learn to sew to make your own clothes etc all of that is better than buying new clothes. donating clothes to a thrift store is also not ideal since they get so many donations that a lot of it ends up in a landfill anyway and recycling clothes is also not straightforward or even possible in a lot of cases. so not buying new/more clothes is the most environmentally friendly option. and before you go no ethical consumption under capitalism blah blah yeah we know. doesn't mean you are powerless and have no choices in anything ever.

please learn more about microplastics, the clothing/textile industry and veganism before you uncritically reblog another misinformed post about "vegan leather" or microplastics. also please don't uncritically believe what i wrote here either. if you're seriously interested in these topics then your source for this information shouldn't be some tumblr post in the first place. there are lot of studies, documentaries and articles about all the things i mentioned. i'm not a researcher or a scientist, so don't ask me. i'm just tired.

[arisatohamuko]

would you believe me if i told you that right now, on this very website, there was an entirely isolated community of people dedicated to roleplaying through the medium of tumblr dot com instead of using discord or forums? would you believe me if i told you that this actually used to be the norm for this website, and everybody used to know about them as common knowledge? there are microcosms of society on here that some of you could never even dream of understanding. the rabbit hole goes deep, the wellspring has not dried out yet. welcome to the twilight zone...

[themthistles]

i think that while micro labels can seem useful and affirming ultimately they're isolating and kind of an obstacle to your understanding of self. that's because you can never find a word specific enough. there will never be a label or two labels or even ten, twenty of them to perfectly capture and describe all of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, preferences, needs, interests, identities, etc. because you learn more and more about yourself every day and then you change and your wants and needs change with you. having to hop between labels, fearing that you don't 'fit' into a label anymore (both in your own and others eyes), worrying how soon your current label will wear out, questioning if you'll ever fully fit a single one. all that causes a lot of uncertainty and anxiety which could be avoided by just picking a more general thing and molding it according to what it means to YOU. because words will always mean different things to different people, you will never be understood immediately and maybe never completely by anyone but yourself and that's fine

[araneitela]

Me staring at test results: It makes so much sense for her, but if I don't specify or elaborate, then we end up with the fanon take. Ugh, how do I easily explain that if you look at the word 'sex' through a much more old-fashioned lens instead of the modern one, that you'll get a vastly different picture of it?

/takes angycat.png typing to my tags

[rainbowtvz]

*grits teeth*

i do not want to discourse here or anywhere anymore but it does kind of affect me as a transmasc bi person when i see shit that indirectly misgenders me and implies that bisexuality is an icky no good word and identity and you have to be bi and gay and bi and lesbian and bi and straight at the same time or support them or you're an evil stinky stinky terf like... hello where am, i

[tea-and-secrets]

i've lived as a transmasc person for about three years, and lately i've had monthly meetings with a gender affirming care team at a hospital in my city. but also lately i've been questioning my gender identity. i don't really know if i experience gender dysphoria anymore or if i actually want testosterone and top surgery and stuff. i think i have changed a lot since i started my (only social) transition. i know it's ok to change labels but i feel so guilty for taking up the time and resources of this care team when i know there are so many people who need it more. i just feel so lost and don't know what to do :/ i hope every other trans person has a good june though!!

.

[catie-does-things]

Just saw an ad for an "AI powered" fertility hormone tracker and I'm about to go full Butlerian jihad.

[ereborne]

Anyone who has ever received a package from me had better know themselves loved

[star-burrow]

So fucking pissed at people who say that hyperspecific labels “make the queer community look bad” or “is just pure attention seeking”, NO MF I JUST LIKE HAVING A NAME FOR THINGS I FEEL.

Like, my situation with gender is so fucking complicated that having a person coin something such as “dazegender” was so good to me, and I still have a complicated relationship with gender !! I’m so glad for whoever coined the term “Omnisexual/romantic” because it would've been a living nightmare to do mental gymnastics to feel like I fitted pan or bi.

“But those are spectrums” do people treat them as such ? Do they really ? Plus it's just difficult to my head to grasp the concept of “spectrum” it either is or is not, that's how my brain works personally. (My brain needs to be able to name things, basically. And also to know exactly what to do, if we're talking about chores, per say).

In today's generation so many people (me included) just find it SO HARD to put their feelings into words that it is genuinely a blessing to have labels that can label what we feel so precisely (to us, at least), “but you're overcomplicating something that should be simple” feelings are so far from being simple, honestly, and what is simple to you may not be to me, and that's okay, just don't call me attention seeking or whatever.

Also, also !! Hyperspecific labels/flags just make me (at least) feel more validated, since it makes it clear to me that I'm not alone in the way I feel and it kinda validates me (in a good way) :] And it's the Queer Community after all, so I think it's past the time we start actually acting like that.

[chaos-in-one]

The way people will treat extremely new definitions for labels as the Only Acceptable Definition sometimes is fucking WILD

Anyways I'm a proud butch panagender (mix between pangender and agender) & genderfluid lesbian and ily all other lesbians who get shit for not fitting the newest box for what people expect lesbians to be <3