#you can always point to America and say 'well at least we're not as bad as them!' to skirt around criticism and not have to think

[thottybrucewayne]

I hate when we talkin shit about America and here come a white European trying to get they crack in like...I KNOW DAMN WELL YOU NOT TALKIN?????????

[krirebr]

I Know I Should Know Better 4

Pairing: Curtis Everett x Female Reader, references to past Colin Shea x Female Reader & past Johnny Storm x Female Reader

Word Count: ~3.5k

Summary: Curtis has been working as your body guard for almost two years now. Standing by and watching you work and party your life away is becoming more and more difficult, but is there anything he can do about it?

Warnings: Angst, adult themes, complicated power dynamics, minor age difference (not explicit in this part, but reader is mid-twenties and Curtis is early thirties), drinking & implied drug use, explicit language, bad boyfriend (Colin continues to be awful, even though we haven't actually seen him since part 2), self-destructive behavior, anxiety, negative self-talk. She's still having a bad time, you guys. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: Well, here it is! As I currently have it planned, this will be seven parts, so we're officially past the halfway point now. This part's a little shorter, but I'm hoping you'll think it's worth it.

Big thanks to @drabblewithfrannybarnes for helping me nail down the new character here! (If you don't remember doing that Carly, it's because it was ages ago 🤣)

Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. Even if it's just screaming at me. 😄 As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜

The drive to the restaurant was uncomfortable. Or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was just you. Sitting in the backseat alone, while Curtis and Jensen quietly conversed in the front, you felt ridiculous. You should learn how to drive. You were a grown woman who couldn’t even get herself anywhere—just another way you didn’t know how to be responsible for yourself.

You stared at Curtis in the front seat. It’d been a few weeks since your boundaries conversation. You hadn’t spoken to him much since. He was right. It was better. Cleaner. But you missed being able to talk to him.

Something had changed about the way he watched you though. You would swear that it was more intense now, the way his eyes followed you around the room. And it always seemed like he had something to say, he’d just never say it. He didn’t make any sense.

You took a breath. You were nervous about this lunch. You weren’t entirely sure what the purpose of it was, aside from the fact that Marnie Reynolds had wanted to meet. You hadn’t seen her in years and then she just texted you out of the blue two days ago, asking if you wanted to have lunch. You assumed she was going to pitch you something. Why else would she want to talk? You hoped it’d be something easy to agree to. It would make Wilford and Tanya feel better if someone actively wanted to work with you, at the very least. 

The restaurant wasn’t the kind of place you normally went to. It was nice, but tucked away, not designed for those who wanted to see and be seen. Marnie had chosen it. She was waiting for you at a small table in the back, even more private. She stood as you approached and enveloped you in a warm hug. She was just as glamorous as you remembered, suddenly hit by memories of sitting in her trailer while she let you try on her jewelry. She’d always been so nice to you. “Oh, honey, it’s so good to see you,” she said as you both sat down. 

You smiled and nodded. “It’s good to see you, too. How are you?” 

“Oh, good, good,” she said with a big smile. “Just got back from a shoot in Greece. Happy to be home.” Her eyes lost a little of their luster as she asked, “How are you, darling?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” you said. You could tell she wanted you to say more, but you just nodded and shrugged.

“Well,” she looked at you carefully, “I can’t get over how grown up you are. I know it’s silly, but I think I’ll always see you as the sixteen-year-old I met at the table read ten years ago.”

 “You and all of America,” you said dryly before you could think better of it.

Instead of chastising you, she just nodded. “I’m very grateful I didn’t have to grow up so publicly and then have to make that transition to being an adult. I can’t imagine how hard that is.”

You shrugged again. You didn’t really know what to say to her.

“Which, speaking of, I owe you an apology.”

Panic rose in your chest. Oh, god. Had she sold a story about you? Said something private in an interview? Blocked you from a new role? You weren’t sure you could handle one more thing right now. “Oh?” you asked shakily.

She nodded, seriously. “I should have done a better job of keeping in touch with you after we’d finished the movie. I owed you that much. I’m sorry.”

You furrowed your brow, confused.  “That’s fine. You’ve been so busy. I didn’t really expect you to remember me. I mean, you won an Oscar. I know how much work that takes.”

“Mmm,” she said, “and you sent me flowers.”

You shrugged. You just kept shrugging. “Well, you were always kind to me, and I was so happy for you. It seemed like the least I should do.”

 “You were always so sweet. I’m so happy to see that hasn’t changed.”

At the sincerity on her face, you looked down at your menu. You didn’t know what to say to that. 

“How’s your mom?” she asked, her tone strangely cautious. “Is she still your manager?”

“Oh, no. Wilford helped me get a new one when I turned 18. He thought I needed someone more experienced.”

She let out a breath, almost like she was relieved. “I have to admit, I’m happy to hear that.” You gave her a confused look and she continued softly, “She was always so hard on you. It was part of why I always invited you to my trailer. It seemed like you could really use a break from her.” She gave you another impossibly warm smile. “Plus, you were such great company. I loved making that movie with you.”

You couldn’t hide your relief when the server chose that moment to take your orders. You didn’t know what to do with the fondness in Marnie’s eyes. 

Once you were both done ordering, you decided you were ready to talk business. “So, what’s the project?” you asked.

She looked confused. “Project?”

“Uh, yeah. Whatever you wanted to pitch me? The reason you asked me here.”

“Oh, honey, no, I’m sorry. There’s no project. I just wanted to see you.”

That didn’t make sense. That she didn’t want to work with you again made sense. No one did, so of course she didn’t either. But then why else were you here? “I don’t understand,” you said quietly.

She let out a sad little sigh. “I’ve seen some of what’s been going on with you, online, and it just seems like you need a friend. I want to be that for you. I think about you more than you know.”

“Oh,” was all you managed to say.

She grabbed your hand over the table. “There’s so much going on for you right now. I can’t imagine how hard it must be, and then to have to deal with it in public too.”

You didn’t say anything, just looked at your joined hands on the table. Then, finally, still looking down, “Uh, yeah. I’m having a pretty hard time.”

She squeezed your hand. “I’m so sorry. I’m here to listen if you ever want to talk about it.” 

You finally looked up and nodded, but didn’t say anything else. You weren’t sure you could.

She looked at you carefully. “Have you thought about taking a break at all?”

You were reminded of Curtis, sitting on your couch, looking at you so earnestly, talking about taking a year off. You shook the image out of your head. “No,” you said. “It isn’t a good time. My reputation isn’t great right now, so I need to get back out there and show people that I can do the work. I need to fix it.”

“Mmm,” she hummed, “that sounds like agent speak.”

“Well,” you shrugged, “he’s right.”

“Remember, though,” she said, slowly, “that you’re a person, too. Not just a career.”

You just looked at her, blankly. Your career had been the most important thing about you since you were nine years old. You didn’t know how to separate the two. Luckily, that was when the server returned with your food, and Marnie graciously took it as a sign to take over the conversation for the rest of your meal. She talked about the movie she’d just finished, how her kids were doing, and the large garden she was planting at home. It was nice. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d had a meal out with a friend like this.

Still, you left the restaurant feeling raw and restless. You weren’t sure what to do with that conversation, the hard parts of it. The way she looked at you like she actually saw you. There was an itch in you now that just made you want to run.

Instead, as soon as you got home, you poured yourself a glass of sangria from the pitcher your housekeeper kept in your fridge and took the latest script Wilford had sent you onto your deck. You could feel Curtis watching you as you moved through the glass doors. That was his job, you told yourself. It was just his job.

The script fucking sucked. It was awful. The opposite of what you wanted to do. But you knew what Wilford would say. Beggars can’t be choosers. This was your fault. You were the one who’d destroyed your reputation. You had to be the one to fix it. And if making shit like this would fix it, then that’s what you had to do. Too many people relied on you for you not to do whatever you could, take whatever paychecks you could get. You hated it. You hated it so much. But you would do it.

You picked up your phone. You hadn’t realized how much time had passed. It was well into the evening now. There was a text from Michelle an hour ago, letting you know she’d left. And a few minutes ago, one from Nikki, a girl you partied with sometimes, that just said ‘Fuck them both!’

What the hell did that mean? Panic began to crawl up your throat and your hands started to shake as you typed your name into Google and clicked on News. Your stomach dropped.  Johnny Storm, that snowboarder you’d barely dated over a year ago, apparently had a podcast now. And the latest episode, posted that day, featured Colin Shea as its guest. Shit. Fuck. You couldn’t even look at what they’d said. There was no point. It was all just the same old bullshit.

You felt tears start to prick at your eyes. Why couldn’t everyone just leave you the fuck alone? You weren’t even that interesting. How could they possibly have anything to talk about?

Fuck that, you thought, as you stormed back into your house. You distantly registered Curtis calling after you, but you didn’t pay any attention. You were too focused. You headed straight up to your bedroom. They wanted something to talk about? You’d fucking give it to them! You charged into your closet and grabbed the sluttiest, shiniest dress you had. Fuck yeah. You could do this. You would be exactly who they wanted you to be. If they wanted a show so fucking badly, you’d give them one.

You ran back downstairs, looking for a particular pair of earrings that a costar had given you as a wrap gift a couple of years ago – huge dangly ones that said Fuck on one ear and You on the other. There was nothing subtle about what you were going for tonight. 

You’d have to think of someone to call, too. Someone suitable for the kind of scene you wanted to make, the kind of big mistake you wanted to fall into. You were so fucking tired of holding it all together. You were done. Your mind immediately landed on Lucas Lee, your costar in that dumb action movie last year. He was awful but so hot. Nothing but trouble and always up for whatever. Perfect.

As you entered your living room, your eyes landed on one of your jewelry boxes on the coffee table. There they were! As you picked up the box, you realized Curtis was sitting by himself on the couch. You saw him take in your short, sparkly dress and grimace. You weren’t in the mood to analyze it. “I’m going out,” you announced. “Have Jensen get the car ready.” 

You were already moving through, headed back upstairs when you heard Curtis rasp, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

You turned on a dime. “Excuse me?”

“I think,” he said slowly, so calmly you wanted to break something, “that going out right now, in the sort of mood you’re clearly in, would be a very bad idea.”

What the actual fuck? “Since when,” you asked, your voice quiet with seething anger, “is it your job to tell me what to do?”

He shook his head and you didn’t know how to react to how sad he looked. “I’m not telling you to do anything. I’m asking you to stay home tonight. For your own safety, which very much is my job.”

You just stared at him, dumbfounded. You didn’t understand him. He told you you weren’t friends. He was the one who said he was just your bodyguard. So what the hell was he doing now? 

In the moment you stood frozen, just staring at him, he took a cautious step forward. “Did something happen?” he asked barely above a whisper.

You shook your head furiously. You felt like you could barely form words. You were so angry and lost, and scared, and sad, and confused. You were feeling more than you thought your body could contain. And you knew, you knew, the only way to get these feelings out would be to go out and get as wild as you could. And here Curtis was, not letting you. You were afraid you were going to explode. “That’s fine,” you finally got out, ignoring his question. “You don’t have to come with me. Jake neither. I’ll get a fucking Uber.” You took a step towards the opening of the room. “Go home Jake!” you shouted through the house. “I won’t need you tonight!”

Curtis sighed your name. “I’m not going to let you go out by yourself,” he said firmly.

You threw your hands in the air. “Then make up your goddamn mind!” 

Jake appeared in the doorway, looking confused and Curtis turned to him. You took the opportunity to get back to the safety of your room, leaving your security detail to figure their shit out. Once back in your room, you dug through the jewelry box until you found the earrings you were looking for. You heard your back door open and close. Good. Jake, at least, was gone. You knew Curtis would be harder, but you were fucking determined. 

Just as you were opening Uber on your phone, Curtis appeared in your doorway. “What,” you growled.

“Would you just listen to me for a minute?!” He said, not quite a yell, but not not that either, as he barged into your room. All of his practiced calm from downstairs was completely gone. “Something bad is going to happen if you go out tonight! It is, I know it is. And I know you can feel it too!”

“Why do you care?!” You shouted at him. “No one else does! Why do you care so much?!”

“You know why!” he shouted back, and took another step toward you, but then suddenly stopped. Much, much quieter, much softer, and with eyes so pleading, he said “You must know.”

You didn’t. You really don’t think you knew until that moment, when the realization slammed into you. Every look, every sigh, all of the moments of him that hadn’t made sense. You took a step back. “What?” you breathed, barely realizing that you were shaking.

He took a step forward to follow you, then stopped. He opened his mouth to say something, but you shook your head at him. “No,” you said. “You can’t.”

“I can’t?!” he asked, incredulous and upset again.

“No!” you shouted, but it was so much weaker now. “I just– Why would– I’m such a fucking mess!” You were starting to cry, the adrenaline of the last half-hour finally leaking out of you, replaced by that same bone-deep exhaustion that you’d had for too long. “I barely have a high school education. I don’t know how to do anything for myself. No one wants to work with me. I am barely keeping it together and everyone knows it. I’m a trainwreck! Why would you–” You couldn’t bring yourself to say the words that you knew he meant. “Why would you have feelings for someone like that?”

 The sadness was back in his face. You looked away, unable to bear it. In your periphery, you saw him take a cautious step forward, then pause. When you made no move to run, he eliminated the distance between you, standing directly in front of you. He slowly, gently, carefully brought one hand up to touch your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb. “I know,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “I know all that and I still love you. Because I also know that somehow, despite everything, you are one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met. You are so kind. And thoughtful. You let everyone see your soft spots, even when all they do is hurt you. You have every reason to be awful or bitter or mean or any of a thousand things. But you aren’t. It’s all of it, it’s all of those things and the ones you said too. All of it together, that’s why I love you. I love you because you’re you.”

You wanted to sob. No one had ever said anything remotely like that to you before. Not anyone in your family, or a single one of your exes. No one had ever cared enough to say any of that. Except for Curtis. He’d always cared, hadn’t he? Since that first day he’d showed up, when you’d been so scared about the possibility of a stalker, he’d taken such care with you. He was the most caring, thoughtful, beautiful person you knew. You took a deep breath and looked into his eyes.  You could see his worry, but also the deep conviction with which he’d just said all that to you. You couldn’t help yourself anymore. You surged forward and you kissed him. 

He made a noise of surprise—you didn’t know how he could possibly be surprised after all that—but after just a moment he was kissing you back, bringing both hands up to cradle your head. You were getting your tears all over him, but he didn’t seem to care. He was soft and gentle and passionate. You needed more. You needed all of him.

You took a step back, breaking the kiss. You did what you could to brush the tears off your face. You grabbed the bottom of your dress and pulled it over your head, then tossed it on the floor. You stood in front of him in the lingerie you’d picked out to fuck Lucas Lee of all people and couldn’t understand how you’d ever been able to think about anyone but Curtis. But you did know how when you stopped to think about it. You’d never been able to fathom that you might deserve this man. That he might actually want you.

He stared at you. “Fuck,” he whispered. “You’re–” you braced yourself for what might come next. So hot or fucking sexy. You’d even gotten beautiful once or twice. He only took a second before he finished his sentence “–incredible,” with such awe on his face that you actually felt your knees go weak. You had to look away. He was too much.

He took your face in his hands again and placed a soft, short kiss on your lips. “But would it be ok if we slowed down?” he asked.

You couldn’t keep the disappointment out of your voice. “Why?” 

“This is real for me,” he said. “And if we do this, I want it to be real for you too. I want you to be sure. And for now,” he stroked one thumb over your cheekbone, “right now I just want to hold you. Is that alright? If I just hold you tonight?”  

You didn’t know how to respond to that. Sex had always been the best, most important part of any of your relationships. It’d been the biggest thing that any of your previous partners had wanted from you. You weren’t sure you knew how to do it any other way. But he was holding you so gently, looking at you so softly, all you could do was nod. 

He kissed you once more. Then stepped back and started to take off his clothes. You made your way to your bed and got in, watching him as he shed his clothes. He really was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen. Nothing on any movie set you’d ever been on, any party you’d ever been to could compare to him. 

Once he was down to just his boxers, he crawled in next to you and pulled you close. Your lips touched his shoulder as you asked, barely audible, “You really love me?”

He kissed your forehead. “Yes,” he whispered. “I really love you.”

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[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, but Chronologically: 46

Back to the 1980s! Fun fun fun. Or not, because it's now 1983 and we're watching a Mark Gatiss episode set on a Soviet nuclear sub, which is. Well. Not fun. He's a very boring writer. Lots of stereotypes in both plot and set pieces, and a general feel that he'd have made a very good writer in the 1960s. WITH THAT SAID THOUGH I remember absolutely hating this episode at the time, but on a rewatch, I'm delighted to say it's actually very solidly just below average.

So, Matt Smith and Clara again - ironically, in the air date order we've only skipped backwards by one. Here, they land on said Soviet sub in the middle of the Cold War. Because this is a Gatiss episode, every single person on it is a white man, because aliens and time travel are fine, but women would be Pushing It. Fun fact! This is the first time since 1978 where the only woman is the companion. Two of these white men, in accordance with the laws of Films About Russian Submarines During The Cold War, are at loggerheads because one wants to blow up America and the other thinks nuking the planet is Bad, Actually. Oddly, even this tension feels like a shoehorned-in stereotype, given that the nasty one dies like a third of the way in, but whatever.

ANYWAY the nuclear sub has found what they think is a mammoth in some ice, and Cold War nuclear subs are famous for wanting to advance the plight of natural history museums, so they have it on board. Unfortunately, some science-hating one-scene character decides that thawing out a dead mammoth carcass to continue decomposing in an enclosed submarine is a fantastic idea, and so thaws it with... well, a blowtorch, somehow. This reveals that the mammoth is not a mammoth! It's an Ice Warrior! We've met their queen. It immediately chokes out and kills the idiot with the blow torch.

(Another Fun Fact! This is the first televised Ice Warrior story to feature no Ice Warriors played by actors from Trinidad.)

Meanwhile, Clara and the Doctor arrive and nearly get arrested, then in a scene that belongs in a mildly tedious 1950s it's-behind-you farce, the Ice Warrior turns up on the bridge. It gets assaulted by the nasty Russian who wants to nuke America. This then sets off the premise of the episode, which is that there is an Ice Warrior on a stricken nuclear sub that wants to wipe out humanity because Martian honour means "Attack one, attack all" - as multiple characters stress multiple times, because the Nasty Russian attacked it, the Ice Warrior now gets to kill everyone. "You attacked me," insists the Ice Warrior at one point.

Which is very interesting, given that the first scene of this damned Ice Warrior was of him attacking stupid blowtorch boy.

Obviously, this is just resolved by convincing the Ice Warrior not to kill everyone, and then an Ice Warrior ship turns up and takes it away, presumably back to the queen and that one human guy on Mars. Would he still be alive? Can't remember the year we saw him, now.

SO! What's plot relevant?

Well, this is clearly early Clara - it's her first trip, possibly? We find out about the TARDIS' translation circuits again, which she didn't know about. She gets to have her first Companion Does a Thing scene, I presume (first from her perspective, anyway), but is in fact utterly fucking useless in it, because it's written by Mark Gatiss. Her only actual function in this story is to remind the Ice Warrior that he has a dead daughter, because she is the Only Woman in this story (seriously why did the Ice Warrior have to be male as well? That would have at least HELPED.) Also we find out about the HADS for the first time! If the Doctor leaves it on, the TARDIS just gtfo if it senses danger. Cool. Oh, and another extraordinarily tedious Moffat-era "You are a soldier, Doctor... Another soldier can always tell..." moment.

Otherwise... yeah I think that's it.

Let's update the board!

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest. The Thijarian planet was destroyed by some sort of impact). Is this the Flux?

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up  (unless she’s Missy. Nope: she is definitely not blown up)

The TARDIS has blown up  (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again. NOPE, back to not working.)

The universe appears to have ended  (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole

(And Nardole was “reassembled???” Nardole had glass nipples and invisible hair?? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window? (She’s with the Silents, but we don’t know why Amy saw her)

Why is Amy’s pregnancy inconclusive? (Maybe because the baby had Time Lord DNA?) She’s deffo pregnant and the baby becomes River, but why inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri (Not anymore, somehow)

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory? How did she forget a Dalek invasion?

Is Rory plastic or not? Yeah, must be, he couldn’t possibly remember being plastic otherwise

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?  A psychic midwife says she’s just normal human

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

How did the Doctor forget Clara?

Who is Bill’s puddle girlfriend Heather?

How did Nardole die?

When does Bill get Cyberman-ed and die?

When does the Doctor shrink and enter a Dalek called Rusty?

Whittaker is falling to her death rn

Was that ring relevant?

Does anyone know the Doctor’s name?

When did Yaz talk to Dan about fancying the Doctor?

When did Dan talk to the Doctor about fancying Yaz?

What’s happening with the bees?

What happened with Donna’s ex and a giant spider?

What war wiped out the Daleks, and is it one of the ones already mentioned?

What did the Doctor mean when he said “The (Daleks) always live, while I lose everything?”

If Dalek Caan is the last Dalek left why are there more now?

How did the rest of the Time Lords die?

How and why did Amy melt?

What’s the question that will make silence fall?

Why do the Silents… want silence to fall?

How and why are Silents at war with the Doctor when he… hasn’t even heard of them?

How does Hitler get out of the cupboard?

What’s the significance of fish fingers and custard?

Why does the Doctor feel guilt about Rose, Martha and Donna?

What happened with the space whale?

When does Rory defend Amy for 2000 years? Since Roman times, it seems

How does the Doctor survive River? He doesn’t, apparently

How does he erase himself from history

Did Captain Jack lose his memories to the same people as the Doctor? What did he lose?

When did the Doctor send the Daleks into a void to save the universe?

What’s with the weird crack in the wall and is it affecting memories?

Why do Amy and Rory think the Doctor is dead? Is it because of River as an astronaut?

Is Matt Smith’s Doctor a tree racist?

Why is the beautiful geode woman stealing people into a Passenger form?

River says she’ll die one day when the Doctor doesn’t remember her, let’s hope she doesn’t mean it

Why doesn’t the TARDIS like Clara?

[slashingdisneypasta]

This idea/question popped into my head last night and I think it might intrigued you too. Or at least it'll be fun to think about.

So we know that in the Slasher AU, Rena is dead and Ryan and Kingston are still running their L.V mafia. But what if they were a bunch of slashers? Whether they replace the weasels as the Slasher Villains or they are Las Vegas' group of killers? How much different do you think they and their relationships would be (not just with each other but other people, like Maya and Kingstons parents)? What kind of irl slashers would you compare them to?

If they are slashers alongside the weasels... Ohhh boy Shiny, Poppy, and Lottie are in for a shit show when they get on the road, I imagine.

SLASHER AU SLASHER AU SLASHER AU-

Okay so I saw this and had to get up, fill a hot water bottle and get comfy so I could respond. I'm ready now, here we go.

Slasher!Rena is Freddy down to a T. She's an orphan, she's a Huge Tease, she's terrifyingly cunning, and she'd absolutely come back for her daughter just to use her when she needs her. So Rena's basically herself, but with a taste for bloodshed. As opposed to King and Ryan, Rena probably always had a little bloodlust in her, from childhood; I can see her being bullied when she was little (she was a lanky, awkward thing who looked just like her brother- they called her a boy, boyish, masculine. Said she would never be pretty; that kinda thing. As well as 'poor' and 'orphan'. She and Ry still get adopted by King's parents in this au but that doesn't change the fact they aren't her real mum and dad, and children are cruel) and hating everyone around her (Except Ryan and King). She started hating guys, particularly, even more after she hit puberty and SUDDENLY!! everyone liked her.

As she grew up she became more and more the character we know- addicted to drama. Except its even worse, because... well, she's not satisfied with a little sex. Yes, thats great, but she starts to think that if she can kill... and then go to the funeral, too,... t h a t would be perfect. And of course, she targets kids she grew up with and their families. (And at this point, she's the most popular woman in the little australian farm town. She knows everyone, she's friends with everyone- So she has access, to everyone.)

After they move to Vegas, america's capital of bad mistakes, Rena really hits her perfect stride. Everyone there is her puppet.

(And *cough* I have this thought where, after Poppy/Shiny/and Lottie come to Vegas and meet the Roo's, and Lottie naively thinks she's finally found a parent who wants her (Rena's spinning it like Smartass took her and hid her from her mother- which we both know is nothing but lies), Rena digs into her daughter. She finds out everything that happened, convincing Lottie with gentle motherly touches and warm openness to tell her all her secrets. Then, for fun, Rena sells Lottie out to Greasy)

Slasher!Kingston is Chucky for sure XD Oh! And also Foxy and Stu!! Kingston still seems to think pretty clearly (Unlike, say, Otis or Baby. Or Tiffany. Or Billy.), he k n o w s the difference between right and wrong, he can explain ethics, but he just doesn't care ('wrong's the fun one'). Kingston basically started developing a bloodlust after Rena started killing. He was always pretty popular in school (AFL star) and in town; he was never bullied, but he's always up for trying something new! King's a bit of a thrill seeker (He drove before he had a licence way over the speed limit, he drank before it was legal, he smoked, he did drugs, he was up for really any dangerous stunt, etc), so when he stumbles upon his girlfriend with blood on her pretty face and his old football coach laying still on the ground, he's basically like... 'oh is this what we're doing now?? Well- shit- I'm down! Whadawe do with this??' *gesturing to the body of the man who kindly taught him football all through highschool* Who's next??'

And its not personal for him at all like it is with Rena, he'll kill anyone. Doesn't matter. He has very little in the way of empathy.

King just jumps on board immediately- following Rena's lead but quickly ~flourishing~ on his own. And, being a thrill seeker, he almost blows their cover so so many times! Rena gets so annoyed 😅 She has tied him to a chair with military grade knots through the night before on multiple occasions because they need to lay low now goddamnit!

As for his parents... he would absolutely kill them, no guilt no shame. He doesn't want to, he's not gonna go out of his way to do it (They're his mum and dad! He loves them, in his way), but if they found out about his extracurriculars and they started creating problems then he will shoot them in the heads.

Slasher!Ryan, true to his character, was never a really cruel person (Just complicit)... until Maya** was killed. So, I'd liken him to... maybe... Needy? From Jennifer's Body? After Jennifer and Chip were killed, she lost a l l semblance of being the 'good guy'. She went basically monotone, and just... pissed. And thats definitely Ryan (In the original universe too, but its definitely more violent in this one). Ryan definitely also has a mindless, wrathful Michael Myers thing about him.

He wants to destroy whoever did it, whoever took Maya away. But once its done... he still doesn't feel better. Ryan will never feel better. He's lost something very important inside him, he doesn't care anymore, and it will not ever go back to the way it was. He's like a mindless soldier for King and Rena to use as they will. (To their credit- they do try not to treat him that way though. Thats their brother, who's been with them no matter what since the start, and... they love him. He's their soft spot!! But sometimes they have to use him.)

Ryan goes into dissociative states where he will hurt anyone near him, and King has to hold him back (Which is a struggle- Ryan's stronger then any of them) while Rena forces a pill down his throat; covering his mouth until it goes down and he goes to sleep.

** Maya did not know about Kings and Rena's killings when she was alive. Ryan kept it from her, and though King made some odd jokes sometimes around her, and she might have had some suspicions... she never outright found out.

[project-do-over]

Violet_M00n is available

Violet_M00n: Heyyy sorry for the delay! Got caught up with work stuff...

Bookwyrm1982: literally no time has passed.

Violet_M00n: Right. Right. Habit, I guess.

Violet_M00n: Anyway, what else did you want to know about the future?

Bookwyrm1982: Well you said you had AI, right?

Violet_M00n: Well... Yes and no. We have programs people *call* "AI", but they're really just advanced machine learning. They can't actually think or anything, but they can put together a surprisingly human sounding sentence, and draw things that could at first be mistaken for art.

Violet_M00n: But of course it's awful. The results are full of factual errors or have way, way too many fingers, companies are trying to use it to replace creatives, and it burns a ton of energy doing essential nothing of value.

Violet_M00n: So could you go on ChatGPT and talk to a convincing facsimile of a human but underneath it's just a more advanced version of Dr. SBAITSO.

Bookwyrm1982: that's a shame. But then again at least you don't have to worry about them taking over the world, right?

Violet_M00n: Luna, at this point I'd welcome our robot overlords. Better than the fucks we have running things these days.

Bookwyrm1982: Are things that bad?

Violet_M00n: *sighs* no, I suppose not. I still have a job, a family, I can exist in public without fearing persecution, and I'm mostly free to do as I please.

Violet_M00n: But trust me when I say the people who very much want to take that away have much more power than feels comfortable.

Bookwyrm1982: that sounds scary though.

Violet_M00n: More enraging than scary, really. Just so many people who can't or don't want to see things from anyone's point of view from their own.

Violet_M00n: Well, that, and capitalism.

Bookwyrm1982: I thought capitalism was good though?

Violet_M00n: *sigh* we have so much to learn.

Violet_M00n: Honestly though, and you should be able to find these online if not in the library, but read some Marx.

Violet_M00n: It may not resonate a lot yet, but it will.

Bookwyrm1982: I always thought that Communism was a good idea in theory but it needed a global revolution to actually work.

Violet_M00n: You may be on to something there. And someday, hopefully in our lifetime, we may get there. But it's a long, long road. Especially here in America, where it's been used as a boogeyman for like 80 years now.

Violet_M00n: (55 for you)

Bookwyrm1982: Wow, that's.... I'm not sure I want to grow up now.

Violet_M00n: Well maybe your timeline will invent actual time travel and you can keep that wish. Luna knows I wish I could.

Bookwyrm1982: so

Bookwyrm1982: um

Bookwyrm1982: Can we talk about something more fun? Like, what's something good in your time?

Violet_M00n: Well Magic the Gathering is still pretty good.

Bookwyrm1982: We're still playing? I kinda lost interest and stopped following it a year or two ago.

Violet_M00n: Oh yeah, we're still playing, and the game is... Well, it's way different from your time but also at its heart the same.

Violet_M00n: Like it's still Magic but also there's D&D and cowboys and Gandalf, for some reason. It's cool but it's also kinda scary how much they're pumping out.

Bookwyrm1982: Oh that sounds cool! Is it just D&D and LOTR?

Violet_M00n: They've done a ton of crossovers, they call them "Universes Beyond". They've done, let's see...

Violet_M00n: Dr. Who, Warhammer, Assassin's Creed, Final Fantasy, they're doing Marvel soon, Transformers (those are Hasbro though so they were among the first), The Walking Dead, Fortnite, Stranger Things (you... Don't know about those yet, don't worry), um, lots more stuff too that I'm forgetting, but those are mostly in like five or ten card bundles.

Violet_M00n: Unlike LotR which was a full set, with boosters and everything. And the best selling set of Magic in all time, unless Bloomburrow has passed that already.

Bookwyrm1982: Really cool! You'll have to send me some pictures sometime!

Violet_M00n: I'll be sure to downscale them appropriately this time!

Bookwyrm1982: What else do we like? Is Star Trek still running?

Violet_M00n: It had a long break there where it seemed we weren't going to get any more Star Trek.

Violet_M00n: But then JJ Abrams (a director/producer of some renown) made a Star Trek movie that was meh, but good enough to get people interest in the franchise again.

Violet_M00n: Soon after that Paramount spun up Star Trek Discovery, which had a rocky start but Grew The Beard soon enough for them to greenlight Star Trek Picard. Then Lower Decks, Strange New Worlds, Academy, and probably one or two others I'm forgetting (not to forget Short Treks and Very Short Treks).

Violet_M00n: Prodigy! I forgot Prodigy!

Bookwyrm1982: The online service?

Violet_M00n: No, Star Trek Prodigy. It's a CG animated series for kids made by Nickelodeon.

Bookwyrm1982: You're making that up.

Violet_M00n: I swear, it's true. Lower Decks is animated too, but 2D, and it's for adults and probably the best thing Star Trek has ever created. It's hilarious!

Violet_M00n: SNW follows Captain Pike on the 1701

Bookwyrm1982: And Discovery?

Violet_M00n: Complicated! It starts out pre-TOS but... Spoilers! And Picard is... Also here!

Bookwyrm1982: Is that about young Picard or something?

Violet_M00n: Old Picard, but close.

Bookwyrm1982: Hey my mom... our mom... just told me to get off the computer so

Bookwyrm1982: ttys!

Violet_M00n: See you in literally no time at all!

Bookwyrm1982 is away

[sendaidivision]

Kotono's Thoughts on Katsushika Division

Akihisa Mashiro

"Akihisa Mashiro. Also known as, "The Reaper". The first time anyone had ever heard of this guy was when he came to light a few years back when it became known that he was responsible for assassinating the former president of the United States. I remember America almost declared war on us again because we refused to hand him over to them, not that I could blame them, of course.

"Anyway, last I heard he had been taken prisoner after Chuohku usurped power from the former government. I'm surprised to see him actually working for Chuohku now. ...Well, I guess he's not technically working for them. But still... I hope this doesn't come back to bite him in the ass."

Touya Kisaragi

"Like my Ryu and Takumi mentioned, it's painfully obvious that there's a lot of Max from Kobe inside this young man. I think, despite his crimes, it's truly saddening what happened to him. Despite the fact that he terrorized most of Japan, I think that never would have happened had he not grew up in a proper home. At least, that's what I'd like to think. It may seem naïve, but I like to think there's always a reason behind someone's actions, no matter how malevolent they are."

Rintaro Himura

"...This guy may be an exception to that rule that I spoke of. As stated, I know that there's a reason for everything people do, but this young man... I'm finding it hard to find any sort of reason to excuse what he does. A man with his mindset and gift for chemistry chooses to use that to create homemade bombs to blow up buildings. I can understand the fascination with that, but if you love explosions and fire so much, you could have easily joined the military, pal. I know they have a lot of use for someone like you. He should be careful lest he get consumed by those flames he loves so much."

Death Row Block

"Is it bad to say that I saw Otome pulling something like this, sooner or later? I mean, its painfully obvious that no one is exempt from this tournament, no matter what their history is. If a team of criminals can easily form a team to participate, then its safe to say that anybody can join, so long as they pique the Prime Minister's interest. I mean, just look at us. We're a bunch of teachers with nothing going for us, yet she chose to send a bunch of HypMics to us. What does that say about any other future teams or divisions that may suddenly be forced into this?

"...Anyway, I don't really see the point of this team joining. Like Takumi mentioned, it was probably because Otome bribed them by saying they'd be free if they chose to enter. I wouldn't put it past her. But I wouldn't hold my breathe on her actually keeping that promise if I were you, boys. Just a heads-up."

[bumblesimagines]

Green Thumb

Part 4

Request: Yes or No

TW: Drug mention, needle mention, overdose mention

I'm still unsure on the twins ages in age of ultron since one source says 16 and the other says 26 lmao. Imma just say the twins are 17 or 18.

~

You stared down at the city below with a frown. You knew Clint wouldn't rest until Natasha was found. Everything had happened so quickly and even if you had tried to catch her with a root, you would've been pulled along. A sigh left you as you sat down at your desk. Your room in the tower felt like a cell. Gray walls, white bed, white desk. The only real color in the room came from the line of potted flowers on the desk. You felt your stomach grumble, standing up and leaving the room. You headed to the kitchen, getting a granola bar. You opened it, taking a bite from it. You almost choked, hearing crashing and arguing. You swallowed the bits of granola as you followed the noises to the laboratory. You headed up the stairs, dodging a flying Steve.

"What the fuck?" You turned your head, seeing the Maximoff twins. "What the fuck?" You repeated, watching them in bewilderment. Another one left you when Thor crashed through a window, raising his hammer and letting the electricity power the cradle. Nothing happened for a moment before the cradle burst open, causing Thor to fly back.

"I should've stayed with Laura." You whispered, staring at the red man that emerged from the cradle. He slowly stood, looking between everyone. His gaze settled on Thor, lunging for him but Thor grabbed him and threw him to the side, causing another crash.

"(Y/N), stay close." Clint called, eyeing the twins. You quickly walked over to him, hearing the crunching of glass beneth your shoes. While Thor and Steve took the dramatic way, you chose to use the door and head to the room Vision was in. Thor raised his hand, stopping Steve from attacked. The man stared out into the city, staying silent and motionless. Thor set down his hammer as the man landed on the door, apologizing to Thor and mimicking his cape.

"Thor, you helped create this?"

"I've had a vision. A whirlpool that sucks in all forms of life and at its center is that." Thor explained, pointing at the crystal in the mans forehead.

"What, the gem?" Bruce asked, watching Thor look at him.

"The mind stone." He corrected. "It's one of the six infinity stones. The greatest power in the universe with destructive abilities." Thor explained as he faced everyone.

"It looks like a citrine." You muttered, continuing to unwrap the rest of your granola bar, swiping away the crumbs that fell on the floor with your foot.

"A what?" Clint asked softly. You glanced at him.

"It's a type of gemstone. It's supposed to motivate you to take action." You shrugged lightly. Gemstones were pretty interesting to study, even more so when they had so called 'destructive abilities.'

"Stark's right."

"Oh, it's definitely the end." Bruce said quietly.

"Why does your vision sound like J.A.R.V.I.S?" Steve asked as he watched the man walk forward. Tony explained why, still in awe and surprise. The man looked at Steve.

"You think I'm a child of Ultron?" Though it sounded like a question, it was obvious it was a statement.

"You're not?"

"I'm not Ultron." The man replied softly, almost confused. "And.. I'm not J.A.R.V.I.S either."

"I looked in your head and saw annihilation." Wanda said, stepping forward as she glared at him. Clint scoffed softly, walking towards everyone. You followed, tossing the wrapper into the trashcan.

"Look again."

"Your approval seems jack to me." Clint said, gaze staying locked on the twins. Wanda's gaze went to Clint before going to you. You maintained brief eye contact. It wasn't everyday you met another meta.

"Her powers, the horrors in our heads, Ultrons powers.. They all came from the mind stone. Nothing compares to what it can unleash." Thor revealed. "And with it on our side-"

"Is it?" Steve interrupted, looking at the man again.

"Are you? On our side?"

"I don't think it's that simple." He replied softly.

"Sounds pretty simple. Death or life for humanity." You said, shrugging. He looked at you, giving a small nod before looking at the others.

"Then.. I'm on the side of life. Ultron isn't." He took small steps forward, not wanting to agitate anyone.

"What's he waiting for?"

"You." The man stared at Tony. You were already coming up with names for him. Tony Jr was the one sticking.

"Sokavia's our best bet." Tony said.

"Nat's there too." Clint told them, looking at Bruce when he approached the man.

"If we're wrong about you..." Bruce started softly. His threats were always amusing until he turned green. He stared at Tony Jr, letting it up to his imagination, if he had that.

"I don't want to kill Ultron." Tony Jr walked around Bruce, continuing past everyone.

"He's weak.. And in pain but that pain will roll over the Earth, so he must be destroyed. Every forms he's built, every sense of his presence on the net. We have to act now and not one of us can do it without the other." Tony Jr turned, facing them. He looked down at his hands.

"Maybe I am a monster. I don't know if I will become one.. I'm not what you are. I'm not what you intended. So there may be no way for you to trust me but we need to go." Tony Jr finished his speech, picking up Thors hammer and handing it to him. The room stayed silent as everyone took it in. Thor took his hammer, clearing his throat and nodding.

"Alright." He gave a small smile, walking away. You sighed, turning around and walking towards the bar.

"Don't even think about it." Clint called as he walked past you. You huffed, watching him go.

"Seriously?" You rolled your eyes, looking over your shoulder at the twins. They walked away in amusement, following Steve's directions to the lockers. You walked to your room, putting on the outfit Clint had designed for you. You looked at a picture of you and Clint, smiling softly. You left the room, walking down the hall. You noticed Thor and Tony Jr talking outside, arms crossing as you approached the glass. You stared at the two, gaze locking onto the reflection of the twins. You turned to face them, seeing Wanda pause and stay in her spot.

"Sorry about choking you." You spoke first, looking between them. Wanda gave a small nod, hand gently gripping her arm.

"Did you get experimented on like us?" Pietro asked, head tilting. Some white strands fell over his face. You shook your head, biting your bottom lip as you thought on how to explain it.

"From what Bruce told me, my mother had drugs in her system during labor. It was an unknown drug that they still haven't identified but Bruce says that it might've given me some freak cell mutation that gave me these powerd. It's weird. Clint said it took a long time to even find any information on my family. I don't know if it's true or something that they told me to make me feel better about being orphaned." The twins gaze softened, glancing at each other. Wanda licked her lips, glancing at the ground.

"When were you orphaned?" She asked softly.

"When I was a baby. My mom died in labor and my dad had been found dead with a needle in his arm a day later. I was put into an orphanage cause my parents were seen as a Jane Doe and John Doe. Again, it's weird." You told them, shrugging lightly. Pietro took in a soft breath, gaze becoming distant.

"We're orphans too. I'm sure you already know what happened by now but.. A bomb killed them." Pietro said softly. He took in a deeper breath, giving a small smile to lighten the mood.

"I suppose that's another thing we have in common." He pointed out with a small shrug. You nodded, smiling softly. It was nice to be around people your age who understood you. Even Wanda seemed relaxed and more comfortable.

"(Y/N), what'd I say?" You looked up upon hearing Clint's voice.

"You were the one who left me alone to change." You reminded him with a soft huff, going around the twins and approaching him. Clint shot you a pointed look, glancing at the twins. You understood why he was distrustful of them.

"Clint, they're like me." You said quietly as you walked with him to the aircraft.

"You're not like them."

"Yes, I am. They're metas and around my age. Weren't you the one who said I had to work on my people skills?" You cocked a brow as you stared at him. Clint stayed silent, giving you the answer.

"They were fighting for their country after it was attacked. They have all the right to be distrustful-"

"After one conversation, you can tell apart the difference between good guys and bad guys?"

"I don't know, Clint, you tell me. You were the one who chose to take in a kid who almost choked your best friend to death and attempted to impale Americas biggest playboy with a fucking branch." You hissed lowly, frowning and looking forward.

"You were, and still are, a kid." Clint said, voice becoming hard and stricter.

"Oh, well, fuck me, I didn't realize the twins were in their eighties."

"Quit giving me attitude, (Y/N). I want to protect you. You don't know if they're gonna stab us in the back when we least expect it. If we destroy Ultron and they stay on our side, you can play dolls with them." Clint said, approaching the aircraft.

"Whatever." You entered the aircraft, taking a seat. The others entered not long after. The twins sat down beside you as Clint headed to the front.

"We didn't get you in trouble, did we?" Wanda asked quietly, glancing over at Clint. You shook your head, toying with the roots in order to relax.

"No, just.. Strict dad drama." You muttered. Wanda tilted her head, making eye contact with Pietro before it clicked.

"Oh.. He adopted you? That's nice." Wanda gave a small smile. "Maybe the Avengers aren't so heartless."

"We aren't." You assured, looking between her and Pietro. "It'll take a while but.. We can all grow to trust each other."

"I hope so." Pietro breathed out, hands going to the belt as the aircraft lifted up. You chuckled at the nervous look on his face.

[qvnthesia]

Heard you watched shadow and bone do you ship darklina or Malina? I really love your fics so I would love your insight on their characters(alina especially)

Yes, I have watched 'Shadow and Bone' and I ship Darklina *chaos* Oooh! Another character insight, let's get this bread! (note — I'm going to analyse these characters from the SHOW and not the books)

ALINA STARKOV, THE SUN SUMMONER

When I first watched S&B, my first impression of her was courageous yet hesitant, because I had actually never imagined Alina in my head at all.

Thanks to her life at the orphanage, Alina's grown accustomed to the fact that she can't make it. She hesitates for every important action she takes and is a bit naive about the real world. Not going to blame her, she got orphaned, I wouldn't wish those circumstances upon anyone.

I don't like how she always relied on Mal. Like, I get loneliness cripples you, I get it, totally do, loneliness makes you lost in your own head. It makes you desperate for the company you enjoy to stay. But, I don't know, I just didn't like her dependence upon a man who cared about her when her name came up and not as one of his top priorities. Yes, the Darkling wanted Alina's power, but at least he cared for her, gave her the best of facilities at the Little Palace and made sure she was safe.

As the series progresses, Alina learns about her power and becomes more confident in herself. She escapes the Darkling's clutches on foot and finds allies in the Crows and even Zoya. At the end of the series, she's sure of herself and she takes it upon herself to bring down the Fold and end the Darkling's tyranny once and for all. Can't wait to see her in Season 2! (JESSIE'S SUCH AN AMAZING INDIVIDUAL 😭💖)

ALEKSANDER MOROZOVA, THE DARKLING

(let's just ignore the Kirigan thing)

Before I start off, I'd just like to take a minute to LOOK AT HIM because I cannot understand why all the villains are so attractive. I have no idea, it's like the allure of darkness, maybe we're just too tired of being good and want to blow some things up—getting back to the point, yes, this guy. I saw him turn around in that damn tent of his and I stopped breathing (still alive).

I would just like to take a minute to appreciate how bloody fucking good of an actor Ben Barnes is. He's really captured the Darkling's allure (exactly how I imagined him when I read the first book) and it's all there in his eyes and his expression. He's very subtle, charming and dangerously manipulative. Leigh Bardugo captured the theme of manipulation so well in the first book and it's been so clearly depicted in the show (THE BLUE IRIS) and I love it.

Aleksander's cunning. He's calculated, he's got his allies and his support (not enough beyond the Fold, but definitely a lot in Ravka). Overall, he's at the top position. He can overthrow the bloody Tsar but he doesn't dare because he's not THAT powerful enough as he actually projects himself to be. He's a lonely fella, and he needs an equal as his company, which is Alina.

Now, whatever this guy is, IN THE SHOW, I'm certain he truly loved Alina, even if he had bad intentions. He really loved her and she DID love him back but she chose goodness over him, ergo, Mal over him. That's the only human factor about him, otherwise, he's hot—HE'S PURE EVIL, focus more on that, or we're all going to die.

MALYEN ORETSEV, THE TRACKER

This guy's good, he's like Captain America, he's fucking righteous, kicks ass damn fine and he does seem to be the perfect choice for Alina in romantic terms. But I'm going to clear with you — Alina doesn't deserve him, not after the way he kept on treating her.

It's pretty clear she has feelings for him and he completely disregards that in all of his masculine braggadocio and it's absolutely infuriating. He says he knows Alina the best so why the hell didn't he realize that the girl likes him? God, the amount of gaslighting, it's outrageous!

But, he's like the ONLY support for Alina that's there. And I feel she's going to need him, they're both going to need each other after everything that's going to come. He's going to fight for her and beside her and I honestly can't wait to see that!

KAZ BREKKER, BASTARD OF THE BARREL

Again, why are all the bad guys so attractive? Dude, stop. Freddy's done such an amazing job playing Kaz. His dark clothes, the haphephobia (fear of being touched), it's right there in his eyes and that's why he keeps his hands to himself unless it comes down to punches.

You can see that calculating sparkle in his eyes, he's always watching, observing (damn good at that) and his mastermind skills prove why he's the best choice for leading the Crows. He's a bit cold, but deep down, he cares for his comrades AND I LOVE HIM.

INEJ GHAFA, THE WRAITH

Best spy in Ketterdam, here she comes!! I love her character so much. Her backstory, being trapped in that damn brothel making her the mature adventurer of the Crows. She's also agile and lightfooted and that's so much of a contrast with her overall attitude with strangers. She also has knives so you best better be careful because she's damn good with them.

I like how she's rather superstitious with all of her beliefs about the Sun Summoner. It shows how hopeful she is of a brighter future where she wouldn't have to live being shrouded by darkness and just be herself out in the open. I also like Kanej, yes, very much, no debate, and certainly no follow-up questions.

JESPER FAHEY, THE SHARPSHOOTER WITH A GAMBLING PROBLEM

He spins twin pearl revolvers in his hands and shot a couple of Volcras from riding in a rickety train, I don't need to say anything else. Except that I can't wait to see him become a Grisha in the show *screaaaaaaams* AND I WANT MILO BACK, I DON'T CARE, WE NEED A REUNION

ZOYA NAZYALENSKY, COMPETITIVE GRISHA SQUALLER

I really like her character development, it's quite obvious in the show. She hates Alina at first because Alina's favoured by the Darkling more than she is. But she's good at heart, that's why she decides to join Alina and becomes allies with her. I seriously want to see more of them, they'd make incredibly wonderful combatants together.

I like how she's so bold and courageous in the show and isn't afraid to give someone a piece of her mind, be it good or bad.

GENYA SAFIN, THE BEAUTIFUL TAILOR & DAVID KOSTYK, THE BOOKISH DURAST

I love Daisy's portrayal of Genya. She's captured the character's beauty and it's like a mask for hiding her pain from such horrible treatment by the King. She's loyal to the Darkling, but she's certainly more loyal to Alina. She's truly a wonderful friend and confidant and I hope for a wonderful future for her where she feels protected and the boss of her own life. Marriage with David doesn't sound so bad either, does it? Because I'm going down with this ship.

I love David, he's bookish and he throws a book at Jesper. A book! And he's so polite!

NINA ZENIK, GRISHA HEARTRENDER & MATTHIAS HELVAR, FJERDAN drüskelle

We have an enemies-to-lovers pair here! Bold Nina and a bit innocent and blindly loyal Matthias. However, they both believe in good and aren't afraid of putting their lives at risk to save the people that they love. When the time comes for both of them to join the Crows, I feel that both of them will serve as a voice of reason, especially Matthias and make some of the Crows more grounded. Obviously, both will be of immense help, with Nina's powers and Matthias' fighting skills.

IVAN AND FEYDOR, RESIDENTIAL HEARTRENDER COUPLE

Let's be clear — grumpy and sunshine, the only couple with the power to topple everyone else. But the Shadow and Sun conflict does threaten their foundations, so, oops?

Anyways, that was my character and a bit of actor-acting insight on Shadow and Bone. Thank you for reading my fics and for all of your love and support <33 It means a lot, considering I'm in a terrible unproductive writer's block T~T

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and watch the show again. Take careo of yeselves and goodbye!! *runs*

[lightningblade1994-blog]

Sonic the Hedgehog/Kung Fu Panda Mash-Up (For KatarinaTheCat)

Sonic: *Shrugs; Yells in pain* OW! I thought you said acupuncture would make me feel [Genai pops us from behind Sonic holding a handful of needles and sticks him again.] better!

Genai: Trust me, it will. It's just not easy finding the right nerve points under all this...

Sonic: Quills?

Genai: Fur, I was going to say fur. [Removes the needle and moves to another part of Sonic's back.]

Sonic: [Skeptical] Sure you were.

Genai: [Adjusts a needle and taps Sonic's back for nerves.] Who am I to judge a Mobian based on his looks? I mean...Look at me.

Sonic: [Looks for Genai; sees nothing]

Genai: I'm over here.[reappears; then jabs another needle into Sonic.]

Sonic: Eeyowch!

Viola Ruma: [holding on to diagram] Maybe you should take a look at this again.

Genai: [looks at the diagram] Oh! Okay.

Sonic: *Shudders; cackles in sheer agony;* Ow! Don't... [laughing] Stop it, stop... YOW!

Sonic: *sighs* I know how Brother Andrew is trying to inspire me and all that, but if i didn't know any better...Id say he's a bit uptight these days. [Sonic snickers. The others look at each other and smile awkwardly. Sonic notices their expressions and his chuckle fades.]

Genai: I know he can seem kind of strict. [He jabs another needle in Sonic.] But, you know, he wasn't always like that.

Viola Ruma: According to legend, there was once a time when Brother Andrew actually used to be carefree and smiles. Until...

Sonic: Until WHAT?

[Patty Enters the scene]

Patty: Until Lancelot came.

Griffin: [Griffin's shadow is silhouetted on the wall.] Uh, yeah, we're not really supposed to talk about him.

Patty: Well, If he and his friends want to go back to their world, then he should know.

Sonic: Guys, C'mon! Everybody's heard about Lancelot! He was once a famous hunter. [Patty looks at Sonic.] One of the few Spellswords...to roam Ebon...[Patty gives him a piercing stare. He nervously trails off.] and... then he turned bad... and... now he's inprisoned...

Patty: He wasn't just an ordinary Spellsword.

{Cut to Backstory}

Patty: This all happened way back when Brother Andrew, Sanson Ebonywood & Lancelot actually became a trio during the first few years at the Spellsword Academy. Samson was the one who came out on top. Lancelot had trained very hard to compete against him, but Samson succeeded him instead. it was then that King Moyer Ranna decided to hand Samson the title of Priest which was a tradition that was handed down in Ranna Village for least 200 years. Outraged, Lancelot laid waste to all of Native America. He tried to take the scepter by force, and Brother Andrew was forced to destroy the very-bond he held during those years. But how could he? He was cast out from the village as punishment for his crimes. Luckily, some of our heroes managed to imprison him and put an end to his schemes. but even then, it could not make up for all the horror that our Brother Andrew had experienced [Lancelot roars in Background] Brother Andrew idolized Lancelot like he has had never did before, or since.

{Cut back to present}

Patty: But now, he has been freed once again. And this time, Brother Andrew has one chance to make this right; to train the new generation of heroes, and he's stuck with YOU; a stuck-up, strapping, cocky & reckless young man, who treats life, as if it were some kind of game.

[Suddenly, Sonic makes a googly-eyed face and he freezes.]

Patty: [At that, Patty loses her temper and raises her fist.] Oh, that is it!

Genai: [Pops out and halts Patty] Wait! My fault! I accidentally tweaked his facial nerve. [Sonic falls face first to the floor, revealing his back is covered with needles.] And may have also stopped his heart. [Genai tentatively pokes Sonic's face: his eyes twitches.]

Published: 05/29/22

Original Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7DVsN761n0

(C) SEGA/Sonic Team

OC's belong to (C) KatarinaTheCat

[idjitlili]

I can be the God of your Orgasm.

Loki x reader

(Not my image)

Summary:Some how ending up in Sakaar ,Valkyrie ends up taking you under her wing,no not her horse Aragorn,for a year ,until some Gods show up.

Word count:1768

Warnings:Language

A/n: Couldn’t end it , last time I touched this was October. Uhm, there’s a picture of Bowie, probably TMI here, but he was the first man , I ever you know over.Double aswell. I’m sorry.

You just a young woman in y/c ,heading to college your average routine ,but you never made it. Instead you had tripped over into a puddle ,but yet again you were decieved ,it was a portal. You hadn't/only left your country ,let alone been on another planet. You didn't think that was even possible;magic nor to be able to breathe on an different planet,well that was what you were told by the government. No you weren't a flat earther,thats bloody stupid. However you felt like the government hid a lot.

Michael Jacksons death,Heath Ledgers death,River Phoenix's death, Princess Diana's death , David Bowie, Obi-wan,it just seemed a little suspicous, not saying it was definitely them covering up the murders but...

Anyways so you fell into the puddle into a some rubbish ,literal rubbish. You had no idea what happened ,when Valkyrie found you she didn't either. God damn Benedict cumpatch stay in america with your fake american accent. Just stay away ,don't really want to be assassainated for being best buds with Sherlock Holmes and Dildo Gaggins.

Valkyrie had felt bad for such a young mortal being in an strange planet,she couldn't bare to bring you to Grandmaster ,to be apart of his orgies. he was indeed a tough warrior much like Dwalin the dwarf from the hobbit,who funfact is the longest living dwarf living up to 300 years,yes irrelvent.

Thus, you lived with her ,you managed to get a part time job as a cook,just so you didn't feel so bad about living with Valkyrie rent free. When I say part time cook ,I mean you just cooked for you and her,you didn't trust this planet. It was lucky when you fell in that puddle the stuff in your backpack didn't get wet,so you had some books to read,and such.

To be far being away from home stuck on an alien planet really did get boring ,you'd hate to admit it but sometimes you had to go to visit Hulk,because he was sorta normal. No he was not but he was okay ,like a destructive toddler but it was better than being alone. Other than that you really missed home ,you missed tv,you missed ice cream.

Pretty much everyday was boring. Well after almost a year of being here ,Valkyrie had brought a guest to your shared apartment thing. The God you had seen on the television a couple years ago. You had been sitting on the sofa reading at the time ,you jumped so hard when the door slammed open,you had looked up to see valkyrie shoving down a dark haired man in chains.

"Uhhh, are you allowed to kidnap people here?" you had questioned ,causing Valkyrie and the guy turn to you ,you had recognised him after a moment of trying to pin point his face. "I don't think that will hold him...h-he's-"

"Just stay away from him ,don't talk to him,don't look at him,hell don't even think about him,I will be back with Thor ,and then we can get you home, Y/n. So pack your things ." Soon as she had mentioned going home you had already started gathering your things,as Valkyrie had left after the God of Thunder. No you didn't go to the big battle compitions and Valkyrie certainly did not tell you she had found Thor ,but it didn't matter you were going home.

It didn't take you long to pack soon,you had your shoes on and everything sitting on the sofa ,twiddling your thumbs,feeling Loki's gaze on you. What's up with in love stories men staring , oh shut up you are just jealous because you can't even get a boyfriend ,stupid scribe.

"she said not to think about you...can you read minds?" you had questioned ,just really because that gaze he had on you made you feel proper ugly ,in which you were not. He had scoffed at you.

"I'm not a witch."

"I never said you were,you are a God ,must be better than having a hammer, it's like a normal hammer with steriods."

"Ah..so you have heard of me," He had smirked to himself ,you had just looked back at you hands before reaching for your bag grabbing your journal and ink,before just scribbing doodles on a clean page.Loki didn't speak after that not until you did again ten minutes later ,probably less time goes slow when the mood is a drag.

"the thing with new York, that was because of Thanos? People have controlled me by making me feel guilty so many times..OH manipulation ,you probably don't want to hear what I have to say,but I can't help it ,i've been stuck here a year the only person I got to speak to is drunk Valkyrie and hulk in which I feel like I am talking to a child. You know what I really wish I was watching Lord of the rings right-"

"You are from earth,how did you end up here?" He had grinned at you,cutting you off,isn't he like a mass murderer? Well he was tricked into doing it ,so more like accidental murderer ,why is he so handsome. Don't be stupid he is a God of course he is handsome.

"Uh..I fell into a puddle then I was here." The God had turned his head away to the floor ,scrunching his eyebrows together in confusion.

"I don't see how that's possible."

"Well it happene-" Yet you were cut off again,as the door slammed open,you quickly turned away back to your notebook,Thor ,Bruce and Valkyrie stood at the door.

You missed what happened first ,Loki having things thrown at him ,and such,you only looked up when he said something about spaceships,seeing Bruce. Your eyes glittered with excitement , Thor saw this. "Oh my! I can't believe it's-2 Thor had shook his head for you not say it. "Radiation scientist,Bruce Banner, damn,now I must say this is much more exciting than a hammer,which you don't have what's up with that? Hey Bruce how you feeling?Green? Darn, imagine being strongest Avenger!"

Thor had scoffed at you,"Does she always talk this much?"Bruce had made his way over to you smiling at you as you stood up. "It is so cool to meet you mister Banner."

"Thank you miss..." "Y/n" He had smiled at you again before turning to Thor ,"see strongest Avenger,yep that's me."

"well then ,let' hope we can get home,just first we are to go to Asgard."

***

"Valkyrie ,I'm going to stay with Dwayne Johnson,I have no fighting skills so it's better if come I after," you had gestured to Korg.

"Alright then, I'll see you if I don't die" And with that she left you with the aliens,smiling up to them.

"The revolution has begun."

***

"Hey, what's this?"

"Thank you." You had stood next to Korg as he had powered down the taser device on Loki's body,you had stood rocking on your balls of your feet in excitement to get home.

"Hey,man. We're about to jump on that ginormous spaceship. You wanna come?" Loki had jumped up,his hair a messy ,from the intense pain he had just suffered,from betraying his brother yet again.

"well you do seem like you're in desperate need of leadership." The smirk was interweaved into his voice, smooth as his greasy hair.

"Why, thank you."

"Hurry up! It has been too long since I've seen the dance seen in the james franco spiderman three!" You rushed forwards grabbing a hold of the mischief makers arm dragging him towards the ship. "Talkative and touchy," Loki just allowed you to drag him,with him supposively being evil,grinning.

***

"uhhh, what's the chances of as all dying horribly? Do you think if i pretend to be dead she wouldn't notice?" Loki was driving the space ship,whilst you sat in the seat next to him,all the alien people sat or stood behind. You really be riding shotgun on a spaceship,it was you or korg.

Loki did not answer you , yet just slightly smiled glancing to you briefly, not a good sign, you'd think with two Gods you'd be fine ,but clearly not. "Hey do you think if Thor had to fight I don't know- AHH" You weren't sure who you meant to say as you face planted into the spaceship's floor,as Loki's flying had stopped so suddenly causing a jolt. You had laughed to your lesson quietly,patheticly in honesty ,covering up how embarrassing that was.

You felt as if you were Mantis ,when Drax had informed her to watch out after she got hit in the face.  All you could think was there's like a bunch of aliens on this ship and it's guaranteed at least 3 have just seen you face plant.  "Okay , that makes me wish that I was on Thors spaceship right now." Your hair in your face, forearms pressed against the cold metal floor.

"What does he have that I don't?" His voice seeped with sarcasm, okay maybe not he was probably just annoyed that a midgardian was aboard and could not shut up.

"He probably can fly this thing better, well it's probably Bruce but that's even better , do you even know how many PHDs he has?"

"Honestly I do not know and do not care."

"Wow that's not very nice . He has..wait I dont -" The smirk on Loki's face was stamped deep, as he pulled you out of your concentration by doing so. "Shut up I bet you say to all your lovers, ‘If you givee a chance I can be the god of your orgasm’” Honestly you don’t know what made you think of that , something tells you it’s to do with a dude that reads a lot of smut named Blake. Actually the author doesn’t know if he does but..

“Thank you darling, for the new material.”

[mallowstep]

Yup, Jay doesn't strike me as the doctor type at all. I have a really hard time thinking up a profession for Jay, but it's always like ???? I have idly thought about how he'd do with archaeology and/or something in the field of cultural resource management (I SWEAR IT'S NOT SELF PROJECTION OKAY? IT'S THE STICK! THE FUCKING STICK IS LIKE THE ONE PIECE OF MATERIAL CULTURE THE CLANS HAVE IN CANON AND SINCE IT'S INTERTWINED WITH HIS STORY IN PARTICULAR HE'S THE NATURAL CHOICE IF WE'RE ASSIGNING ARCHAEOLOGIST TO ANY OF THEM!), but with how important the graphical record is, he just wouldn't have a good time, honestly.

Like, how's he going to be able to draw or photograph test pits? What about ceramic classifications that rely on like paste or surface color? And how about registering visual differences in stratigraphy? I find personally that a lot of archaeological texts don't make much sense at all without the illustrations and figures but that may be just that I'm shit at visualizing. He might not be half bad with stuff he can distinguish by texture and shape, but without sight he might have to be extra careful to always have gloves on as to not contaminate carbon samples.

If not actually working on the field it may be like a fun hobby or thing he likes to learn about. He's got a grandma with a BA in Anthropology anyway, maybe it could be a nice thing for him to bond over with Feathertail? And if archaeology doesn't work out, I think history is adjacent enough that he might take an interest and do better at that.

so. i did some Research, which i know you saw the fruits of (re ur tags, which i'll prob end up writing more in response to at some point, i agree it was a good introduction but i have more questions now), but i haven't been able to find a lot of info. doesn't help that like. blind can reference different things here.

anyway. starting from the top. it's okay it's okay i understand. i wish i could put someone in math but no one has math vibes yet. the stick is a good argument. i accept.

there are blind people working in archaeology, although admittedly, not many of them, at least from what i can find. his ability to do fieldwork would be limited. i found a reddit thread that was fairly short, but one person said

In some ways, being blind is advantageous. When I did fieldwork, I was put in the finds tent to sort and clean finds rather than digging strata whose colours I couldn’t discern. It was my favourite part of the whole thing. Having more reliance on what I felt in my hands rather than what I was seeing made sorting everything and cleaning it a lot easier.

so that's. a bit of an input.

i found another article about a blind archaeologist and fieldwork, and from that we gain

"I used dental tools and a sharpened trowel to slide along the ground. I'd run my hands along the soil, feeling and uncovering different layers. If I started to notice a soil change, I'd check with another excavator. I was really very fortunate to work with a great group of people."

all in all, i'm going to leave these quotes as what i can say about excavation because frankly, i don't know enough about this to say any more.

that said, i suspect he'd function alright with images. i'm not sure how this works and i'm a little too tired to figure out what the Right Keywords are, but i suspect that there is already a way around that. after all, graphs, charts, and diagrams are fairly common. admittedly, i'm also terrible at visualization by which i mean, "i've been staring at the diagram in my number theory textbook for like ten minutes and i still don't know what it says and what it is is is like. a very simple picture of some rings."

anyway. i Suspect that he'd be able to overcome that just as well as he would in any science.

i'll. if i ever write about this i might pester you with some questions. but. in the US, as I understand it and as the Archaeological Institute of America informs me, if he wanted to pursue archaeology as a career (as opposed to getting a degree in it and then doing something else, something which confuses me about the world), he'd be in the same phd/post-doc hellscape as the rest of us.

given his limitations, i think it'd be extra hellscape for him. sorry bud. i say that not because i don't love you, but because there are like. ten positions a year. again it's a post-doc hellscape for all of us. i try not to think about it.

maybe he works in like. a museum? oh man i'm double out of my league here i'd be better off talking about library sciences, but. maybe that's an option? i feel like he would vibe with that maybe? i'm not sure. if anyone has experience with this stuff and feels like weighing in, i'm open to opinions. i'm so far out of my league i'm not even sure where to start researching and i'm very tired so. if i do that it's a tomorrow thing. lmao.

yeah, i agree that he'd go to history. hm. options.

and he 100% bonds with feathertail over it. i'm not sure. i don't have a super strong idea of feathertail's Later Life, but. i think she likes to stay. i don't know how this works actually? like? i was going to say stay up-to-date but i don't know enough like. words. like. i can say even if i didn't go into math-academia, i'd want to stay up to date on graph theory stuff. i could probably get more specific but. tired. anyway. i don't know how to fill in the blank.

my point is, i think if jay wants to talk, she's very open to talking.

[mab1905]

More Fitzjames content? Yeah... here’s a playlist for ya’ll...

These are songs which I think describe him at different points in his character developement or simply different aspects of his personality. Somewhat James/Crozier (Fitzier) but all about James.

(25 songs, 1 hour 33 min)

Song List + Most Character-Relevant Lyrics:

Fancy — Orville Peck

We didn't have money for food or rent / To say the least, we was hard pressed / Then Mama spent every last penny we had / To buy me a dancin' dress / Mama washed and combed and curled my hair / And she painted my eyes and lips / Stepped into a satin dancin' dress / That had a slit in the side clean up to my hips / It was red velvet trim, and it fit me good / Starin' back from the lookin' glass / There stood a woman where a half-gown boy had stood / ... / It sounded like somebody else that was talkin' / Askin', "Mama, what do I do?" / She said, "Just be nice to the gentlemen, Fancy / They'll be nice to you" / "Here's your one chance, Fancy, don't let me down / Here's your one chance, Fancy, don't let me down / Lord, forgive me for what I do / But if you want out, well, it's up to you / Now don't let me down now / Your mama's gonna move you uptown"

gold rush — Taylor Swift

What must it be like / To grow up that beautiful? / With your hair falling into place like dominos / ... / At dinner parties / I call you out on your contrarian shit / And the coastal town / We wandered 'round had never / Seen a love as pure as it / And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea / 'Cause you know it could never be

The Name Of The Game — ABBA

Your smile, and the sound of your voice / And the way you see through me / Got a feeling, you give me no choice / But it means a lot to me / So I wanna know / What's the name of the game?

Spectrum — Florence + The Machine

And when we come for you / We'll be dressed up all in blue / With the ocean in our arms / Kiss your eyes and kiss your palms / And when it's time to pray / We'll be dressed up all in grey / With metal on our tongues / And silver in our lungs / ... / And when we come back we'll be dressed in black / And you'll scream my name aloud / And we won't eat and we won't sleep / We'll drag bodies from the ground / So say my name / And every colour illuminates / And we are shining / And we'll never be afraid again

Dreamy Bruises — Sylvan Esso

How can we question / What we knows feels right / Black eyes turn to marigolds / In the morning light / Ohweeohweeoh kids move so slow / Shaken all over like some dogs at the pool / Ohweeohweeoh kids move so slow / They’re kicken all the records over acting like they hanging water / Ohweeohweeoh kids move so slow / Down in the basement where the sun don't show / Ohweeohweeoh kids movie so slow / Naked dollars wonder piles dreamy bruises rotten lovers / And they say I want you / To bend me back in two / To make me sing your tune / To make those words so smooth / Fill me like a song do

Wolf — Sylvan Esso

But no birds nor beast does he eat / He only wants the tenderest meat / And oh the sounds he makes them speak / Under all different patterns of sheets / ... / The modern wolf, the modern wolf / Drippin' in all the lives that he took / He'll go on home, try to wash them off / But when he shaves, he hears them call

Francis Forever — Mitski

On sunny days I go out walking / I end up on a tree-lined street / I look up at the gaps of sunlight / I miss you more than anything / I don't need the world to see / That I've been the best I can be, but / I don't think I could stand to be / Where you don't see me / And autumn comes when you're not yet done / With the summer passing by, but / I don't think I could stand to be / Where you don't see me

James — MGMT

James / If you need a friend / Come right over / Don't even knock / And I'll be home / The door is always open / And we both can say, "Who's laughing now?" / Oh, James / My little doll / You just go outside and you call / Oh, James / Oh, you're never too far off / If your fire's out / There's no need to shout / I'm always home / And walk on in / I'll make you tea and breakfast / And we both can say, "Who's laughing now?"

South London Forever — Florence + The Machine

I drive past the place that I was born / And the places that I used to drink / Young and drunk and stumbling in the street / Outside the Joiners Arm's like foals unsteady on their feet / With the art students and the boys in bands / High on E and holding hands with someone that I just met / I thought it doesn't get / Better than this / There can be nothing better than this / Better than this / And we climbed onto the roof, the museum / And someone made love in the glass / And I'd forgot my name / And the way back to my mother's house / With your black cool eyes and your bitten lips / The world is at your fingertips / It doesn't get better than this / What else could be better than this? / Oh, don't you know I have seen / I have seen the fields aflame / And everything I ever did / Was just another way to scream your name

Oh! You Pretty things — David Bowie

I think about a world to come / Where the books were found by the Golden ones / Written in pain, written in awe / By a puzzled man who questioned / What we work here for / All the strangers came today / And it looks as though they're here to stay / Oh You Pretty Things (Oh You Pretty Things) / Don't you know you're driving your / Mamas and Papas insane / Oh You Pretty Things (Oh You Pretty Things) / Don't you know you're driving your / Mamas and Papas insane / Let me make it plain / You gotta make way for the Homo Superior

Venus As A Boy — Björk

His wicked sense of humor / Suggests exciting sex / His fingers they focus on her and touches / He's Venus as a boy / ... / All across your lips, oh, then until / Well be that it's a little now, until / He believes in a beauty / He's Venus as a boy / He believes in a beauty and gentle

Winds Change — Orville Peck

Had a lover but I lost my patience / Gonna get a song on a radio station / Got a fire but you just can't use it / I don't mean no lies, baby, please don't lose it / Lost my way on the other side / I know why, I don't know when / From the way that we said goodbye / I knew I'd never see you again / Left my mind in the Salt Lake City / Met a lot of men who would call me pretty / Pack of reds, watch the days get colder / Don't it make you cry, how we're getting older?

Fluorescent Adolescent — Arctic Monkeys

Oh the boy's a slag / The best you ever had / The best you ever had is just a memory / And those dreams weren't as daft as they seem / Not as daft as they seem / My love, when you dream them up... / Flicking through a little book of sex tips / Remember when the boys were all electric? / Now when she's told she's gonna get it / I'm guessing that she'd rather just forget it / Clinging to not getting sentimental / Said she wasn't going but she went still / Likes her gentlemen not to be gentle / Was it a Mecca dauber or a betting pencil? / Oh the boy's a slag / The best you ever had / The best you ever had is just a memory / And those dreams weren't as daft as they seem / Not as daft as they seem / My love, when you dream them up / Falling about / You took a left off Last Laugh Lane / Just sounding it out / But you're not coming back again.

Cheerleader — St. Vincent

I've had good times / With some bad guys / I've told whole lies / With a half smile / Held your bare bones / With my clothes on / I've thrown rocks / Then hid both my arms / I've played dumb / When I knew better / Tried so hard / Just to be clever / I know honest thieves / I call family / I've seen America / With no clothes on / I don't know what I deserve / But for you I could work / Cause I don’t want to be a cheerleader no more

Queen Bitch — David Bowie

She's so swishy in her satin and tat / In her frock coat and bipperty-bopperty hat / Oh God, I could do better than that / Oh, yeah / She's an old-time ambassador / Of sweet talking, night walking games / Oh and she's known in the darkest clubs / For pushing ahead of the dames / If she says she can do it / Then she can do it, she don't make false claims / But she's a queen and such a queen / Such a laughter is sucked in their brains / Now she's leading him on / And she'll lay him right down / Yes, she's leading him on / And she'll lay him right down / But it could have been me / Yes, it could have been me

Boys Keep Swinging — David Bowie

Heaven loves ya / The clouds part for ya / Nothing stands in your way / When you're a boy / Clothes always fit ya / Life is a pop of the cherry / When you're a boy / When you're a boy / You can wear a uniform / When you're a boy / Other boys check you out / You get a girl / These are your favorite things / When you're a boy / Boys / Boys / Boys keep swinging

Caterpillars (Of The Common Wealth) — Will Connolly

You know you'll always be my valentine / Now swear to god that you will never tell / They're streaming every indiscretion live / For caterpillars of the commonwealth / Gotta go / You can stay / Make yourself at home / Gotta go / This campaign / Don't run itself you know / You've got potential little parasite / I tie your hands so i can wish you well / Cuz i'm a gentleman and you are like / A caterpillar of the commonwealth / Gotta go / I said no / You need to know your role / Gotta go / I said no / It's all under control

Imposters (Little By Little) — The Fratellis

You wear your mask, I'll wear mine / They don't come cheap, but they fit just fine / You can be her and I can be him / We can both sink when the rest all swim / ... / We can pretend that our fates were entwined / A beautiful lie is the beautiful kind / Everybody knows that the sun still sets / And everybody gives and everybody gets / ... / I could be the one that you just can't shake / Till you swear that your eyes go blind / We can disappear till the sun burns a hole / In the life that we left behind

Sweet Painted Lady — Elton John

I'm back on dry land once again / Opportunity awaits me like a rat in the drain / We're all hunting honey with money to burn / Just a short time to show you the tricks that we've learned / If the boys all behave themselves here / Well, there's pretty young ladies and beer in the rear / ... / Forget us we'll have gone very soon / Just forget we ever slept in your rooms / And we'll leave the smell of the sea in your beds / Where love's just a job and nothing is said

Super Trouper — ABBA

Super trouper beams are gonna blind me / But I won't feel blue / Like I always do / 'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's you / ... / So I'll be there when you arrive / The sight of you will prove to me I'm still alive / And when you take me in your arms / And hold me tight / I know it's gonna mean so much tonight

Babooshka — Kate Bush

She sent him scented letters / And he received them with a strange delight / Just like / His wife / But how she was before the tears / And how she was before the years flew by / And how she was when she was beautiful / She signed the letter / All yours...

Paris is Burning — St. Vincent

I write to give word the war is over / Send my cinders home to mother / They gave me a medal for my valor / Leaden trumpets spit the soot of power / They say, "I'm on your side / "When nobody is, 'cause nobody is / "Come sit right here and sleep / "While I slip poison in your ear" / We are waiting on a telegram / To give us news of the fall / I am sorry to report / Dear Paris is burning after all

Dream of Sheep — Kate Bush

Oh I'll wake up to any sound of engines / Every gull a seeking craft / I can't keep my eyes open / Wish I had my radio / I'd tune into some friendly voices / Talking 'bout stupid things / I can't be left to my imagination / Let me be weak, let me sleep and dream of sheep / Ooh, their breath is warm / And they smell like sleep / And they say they take me home / Like poppies, heavy with seed / They take me deeper and deeper

Hunger — Florence + The Machine

At seventeen, I started to starve myself / I thought that love was a kind of emptiness / And at least I understood then, the hunger I felt / And I didn't have to call it loneliness / ... / Tell me what you need, oh, you look so free / The way you use your body, baby, come on and work it for me / Don't let it get you down, you're the best thing I've seen / We never found the answer but we knew one thing / ... / And it's Friday night and it's kicking in / In that pink dress, they're gonna crucify me / Oh, and you in all your vibrant youth / How could anything bad ever happen to you? / You make a fool of death with your beauty, and for a moment / I forget to worry

[bulkyphrase]

Everybody & the Avengers Team

I've got a new fic rec list for you!

The stories in the "X & the Avengers Team" tags focus on one person's relationship to the Avengers team as a whole. Courtesy of AO3's tag browse and Excel, here's a ranked list of the top 20 most popular pairings:

Tony Stark | 2470 total, 240 OTP

Peter Parker | 2255 total, 85 OTP

Steve Rogers | 602 total, 56 OTP

Loki | 387 total, 26 OTP

Natasha Romanov | 308 total, 35 OTP

Clint Barton | 268 total, 46 OTP

Bruce Banner | 244 total, 15 OTP

Thor | 209 total, 7 OTP

Avengers Team | 174 total, 24 OTP

James "Bucky" Barnes | 156 total, 7 OTP

Wanda Maximoff | 143 total, 4 OTP

Phil Coulson | 105 total, 9 OTP

Darcy Lewis | 91 total, 6 OTP

Matt Murdock | 60 total, 8 OTP

Sam Wilson | 53 total, 5 OTP

Nick Fury | 41 total, 5 OTP

Harry Potter | 40 total, 0 OTP

Pepper Potts | 31 total, 1 OTP

Vision | 29 total, 2 OTP

Stiles Stilinski | 25 total, 0 OTP

In chart form, if you like charts:

Notes:

The numbers after the names are the number of stories tagged with that ship. OTP means the number of stories where that is the only relationship tagged on the story. Numbers are accurate as of July 2021.

Story Recommendations

For your reading pleasure, included below is at least one fic rec for each pairing except the crossovers from non-Marvel fandoms (apologies to Mr. Potter & Mr. Stilinski). Most are gen fic, and even in the ones with a romantic pairing, romance is not the focus.

Tony Stark

As Subtle As Cognitive Recalibration by petroltogo (Teen, 8949) tumblr: @tonystarktogo

Standing inside his penthouse, listening to Rogers, Barton and Banner explain to Fury how they just happened to stumble over the Tesseract on a routine security check of Stark Tower’s roof and wouldn’t you know, they’ve managed to fight off the looming alien invasion before it could really start and secure the missing overpowered nightlight is one of the most surreal situations Tony has ever had the displeasure of experiencing.

Peter Parker

the worst field trip ever by shrill_fangirl_screaming (Teen, 3420) tumblr: @i-am-having-an-emotion

"We're on a field trip," Peter said. "To here. And Tony decided to be our tour guide and absolutely embarrass me, so can you please help get him under control?"

Which is how Peter Parker, architect of his own destruction, ended up with not one but two superhero pseudo-dads being annoying on his school field trip.

Steve Rogers

Do You Remember Being Happy? ('Cause I Sure Don't) by GalaxyThreads (Teen, 11022) tumblr: @galaxythreads

That seems about right. He doesn't know how he knows that, though. He does have vague memories of an annoyed fondness at finding peanut butter in some sort of jam. Thor's doing, because he doesn't see the point of using two knives when one works just as fine. He knows that. How does he know that? He knows all those little details, though, almost innately. How can he know these strangers so deeply?

Everyone else below the cut!

Loki

Proprietary by TheThirdMarauder (Teen, 7639)

No, Loki simply wants the Avengers conquered. The details of whom, how, and when matter not. Unless, of course, said details interfere with Loki's plans. Then, well, then none can fault him for protecting his own interests.

Loki has always been exceptionally good at lying to himself.

Natasha Romanov

What Girls Are Made Of by enigma731 (Teen, 4613) tumblr: @enigma731

She rolls her eyes but does as he’s indicated, using his shoulders to leverage herself up onto his back, her arms around his neck and her legs hugging his waist.

“You know,” he says blithely, “this isn’t really what I tend to picture when I think of a hot girl riding me.”

Natasha groans, deciding that if his sense of humor gets them arrested, she’ll kill him herself. “Just go.”

Clint Barton

Dear Clint Barton (circa age 7) by pollyrepeat (Teen, 4221)

With a normal person, this might count as blackmail material, but a) this is a case of mutually assured destruction if ever there was one, and b) Fury is immune to embarrassment. Not just in the regular, Tony Stark way, either, oh no. Things that could possibly end up being embarrassing to Fury get somehow warped and changed until they go from mortifying all the way over into useful and/or good for his image. It’s like a superpower.

Carrying Clint’s small child self around on his shoulders more than once has probably already hit the interagency rumour mill as an example of Fury’s innate awesomeness: good with rocket launchers and small children.

Also available as a podfic!

Bruce Banner

They're Not Wrong by Trumpeteer34 (Teen, 10163)

As Tony began to pace around the hole in the road to keep himself from shooting repulsors at the nearby buildings in a fit of rage, Thor began to study the nearby area. There was no sign of either the Hulk or Bruce Banner beyond the crater. The surrounding area, aside from the rubble of the fight, held no clue as to their friend’s location.

“Guys, he’s gone,” Tony growled into the communicator on their private line, drawing Thor out of his darkening thoughts. “Someone tranqed him and took him. He’s gone.”

Honorary mention goes to the Responsible Science series by @letteredlettered - the stories don’t have the "Avengers Team & Bruce Banner" tag, but they could, and they are amazing. The best Bruce Banner writing I've ever come across.

Thor

Fortunately, I Am Mighty by onward_came_the_meteors (General, 3062)

Steve was the first one to speak. “Are you okay?”

Thor nodded. Which was a bad idea, as it turned out, because now there were little gray lights flashing in front of his eyes. “I’m fine.” Absolutely everyone narrowed their eyes, and he added, “But, uh. Could we possibly not get back in the car just yet?”

Avengers Team

Civil Wasn't by onward_came_the_meteors (General, 7123)

"We're having an ideological conflict here," Tony stated with disbelief. "Are you telling me you still want to go out to dinner?"

"It's a standing engagement, Tony," Rhodey reminded him.

"Not you too—"

"We already had to reschedule from Friday when Natasha was..." Rhodey frowned. "What were you doing?"

The question was directed toward Natasha, who shrugged and said, "Spy stuff."

James "Bucky" Barnes

You Know How I Feel, aka, The Adventures of Bucky and Muffy the Dinosaur by ifeelbetter (Not Rated, 4511) tumblr: @ifeelbetterer

“As you may have heard, Bucky Barnes, a.k.a. The Winter Soldier, recently rescued a tiny part-robot dinosaur during the Avengers’ battle with Dr. Doom in Antarctica,” the other newscaster explained. “Pictures of Barnes and the dinosaur were posted on twitter by fellow Avenger, Clint Barton, a.k.a. Hawkeye, and immediately made Barnes’s new pet America’s sweetheart.”

“Her name’s Muffy,” said Steve."

Wanda Maximoff

and the woman was young again by Mira_Jade (General, 3669)

Tony Stark called them the Cap's Kooky Quintet, and sometimes the term amused her – causing her to lift a sardonic brow where someday a smile would truly smile. She enjoyed the presence of comrades – true comrades – and she enjoyed the way their minds wove and bound together about each other to fluctuate against her senses as one. There was something soothing about being in their midst, and even when their loud and brash ways – their painful Americaness - rubbed her raw and drained on her, it was ever the knitting of their minds that soothed those moments over, and made them inconsequential.

Phil Coulson

Coulson's First Day of School by storiesfortravellers (Teen, 3055)

Coulson looked up at him. “I like drawing pictures with Mr. Rogers. I like having tea parties with Ms. Potts. I like it when Dr. Banner reads me books, and I like it when Natasha teaches me things. And I like when you play with me. You do really good voices when we play action figures. And you’re the only one who lets me do stuff like jump off the high diving board at the pool or eat three cupcakes or play tackle with kids at the park.”

Clint didn’t realize that. He was pretty sure that meant that he was doing something wrong.

Darcy Lewis

Beginner Yoga for Dummies (Darcys) and Sad Hobos by chailover (Teen, 3434)

Darcy had a theory: crazy attracted crazy, working kind of like gravity. It was pretty much her explanation for her life after Thor. And if she had thought the type of crazy Thor attracted was bad, be it Loki or the Warrior Three and Sif, or the dark elves and the Convergence, it was still nothing against what the Avengers manage en masse.

Matt Murdock

Double Blind by smilebackwards (Teen, 2381) tumblr: @smilebackwards

Stark snaps his fingers. “You can’t see half of my inventions. This explains so much about you and why you’ve never been properly impressed by me.”

“Does it?” Matt says, ambiguously.

Sam Wilson

Bystander by scribblemetimbers (Teen, 52029)

“I just want you to know,” Sam says loudly, cautiously raising his hands, “That I’m very poor and very sleep-deprived and literally the only thing you can kill me for right now are my notes.” He pauses. Wait. On second thought: “Please don’t steal my notes.”

“I’m not—I’m not a mugger,” Not Mugger rasps out, and for all that he looks about to keel over and die, the man actually manages to sound offended.

Nick Fury

Bedtime Story by dixiehellcat (Teen, 2532) tumblr: @deehellcat

Fury snorted. “I have to check in with the duty officer. I’ll be back in, let’s say twenty minutes. I expect all of you to have whatever your pre-bedtime routines are completed, and be in here pajama’ed and ready to be read to.”

He tapped the book under his arm, then left with the usual dramatic swish of his long coat. Bruce scratched his head. “Did…he just say be ready to be read to?”

Pepper Potts

Pepper and the Avengers (Which She Knows Nothing About) by rebelmeg (General, 6696) tumblr: @rebelmeg

The Avengers, that mismatched group of hurt and heroism, was one of the most important things in Tony Stark’s life. So, naturally, Pepper had made them an important part of her life too.

Vision

039. Intoxicated by aimmyarrowshigh (Teen, 100) tumblr: @aimmyarrowshigh

It might be nice to fit in, just this once. To lose a bit of composure.

Vision floated over to the refrigerator and, with some timidity, pulled off a magnet. He stuck it to his forehead.

[peanutxparker]

A (very long) list of all of my favorite AJJ lyrics because why not

Candy Cigarettes and Cap Guns (2005)

“Well my great grand-dad he died of cancer, from smoking too many cigarettes. But I must confess that he did quite profess to being the coolest motherfucker I ever met.”

“And cocaine is essentially vegan and they don't give a fuck anyway.”

“And I can't help but miss him even though he hit me everyday.”

“So fuck white people! (fuck white people!)”

“Heaven is a special place in hell where you can watch the people you hate get hurt.”

“You find me quite charming and I find it quite alarming ‘cause I'm gonna take your life. You find me quite charming and I find it quite alarming and I'm sad you won't be my wife.”

“What makes you think you can be so pretty? And what makes you think you can be so great? And what makes you think you can be so intelligent? And what makes you think you can be so far away?”

“What makes you think you can be so wonderful? And what makes you think you can be so keen? And what makes me think I can be so hurtful? And what makes me think I can be so mean?”

“Sometimes I feel like a cigarette, I'm wrapped in paper and I'm suffocating to death.”

“I don't want to be a cigarette anymore. I'll go to hell in my self death all day and night, so please just put me out.”

People Who Can Eat People Are The Luckiest People In The World (2007)

“Rejoice despite the fact this world will hurt you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will kill you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will tear you to shreds. Rejoice because you’re trying your best”

“I'm afraid to leave the house. I'm as timid as a mouse. I'm afraid if I go out I'll outwear my welcome. I'm not a courageous man. I don't have any big lasting plans. I'm too cowardly to take a stand, I want to keep my nose clean. And it's sad to know that we're not alone in this and it's sad to know that there's no honest way out. In this life we lead, we could conquer everything if we could just get the brave to get out of bed in the morning.”

“And I give a thank-you to my father for not raising me, and I give a finger to my step-father for beating me, and I give props to myself for achieving, and god damn I’m glad that I survived, and god damn I’m surprised that I survived.”

“So I looked into your eyes and I saw the reflection of a coward you and I both hate very much and then I grabbed the knife and I let the blood out of your throat and I smashed those tiny mirrors inside of your skull.”

“If I don’t go to hell when I die I might go to heaven, might go to heaven. But probably not.”

“Just happy times and half assed rhymes and mimes because mimes are dears, but most of all I want no more tears.”

��No more racism. No more discrimination. No more fat dumb fucks keeping people out of our nation.”

“We’re all one big band across this land and we should sing in tune. Let us grow the balls to break the walls, we’ve got to do it soon.”

“And I hope our candles flicker and die so that our hearts don’t burn to the ground.”

“First we were babies, we're birthing and dying. Then we were children, we're playing and crying. And then we're teenagers and smoking and fucking. But now we're all grown up and we're sadly sighing.”

“And your manic depression, it comes and it goes. Your parasympathetic nervous system reacts and you're in fight or flight mode.”

“How's the world so small when the world is so large? And what made the world? Could I please speak to who's in charge? Everything is real but it's also just as fake. From your daughter's birthday party to your grandmother's wake.”

“I've tried to know which words to sing so many times. I tried to know which chord to play and I tried to make it rhyme. And I tried to find the key that all good songs are in. And I tried to find that notes to make that great, resounding din.”

“There's someone in your head waiting to fucking strangle you.”

“I've got essays, I've got finals due. I have got lots and lots of problems.”

“Welcome to this world, have as much fun as you would like while helping others have as much fun as you're having. Be kind to those you love and be kind to those you don't but for God's sake you gotta be kind.”

Can’t Maintain (2009)

“I wanna pick up the pieces and plant them in the ground. When a tree grows there I want to chop that tree down. Build it into a boat and float it in a lake. And with dynamite I will explode the thing that makes me make mistakes.”

“Sometimes I get so lonesome I can't breathe. Sometimes I get so scared that I can't speak. Sometimes I get so worried I can't hear my heartbeat. Anyway…”

“I wanna tear out my heart and give it away to a person more deserving one day. If all I see is the worst in everything that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get.”

“And people freak me out. People make me scared. People make me so damn self-aware.”

“I get bronchitis twice a year at least. My lungs aren't the way they should be. And I smoke more than a mother fuckin chimney. I declare war on my body.”

“You will cough up crows that peck my eyes and I will do nothing but go blind.”

“We could live there together or I'll live alone, less happy but I'll live... unfortunately.”

“And no one will know how I truly feel ‘cause I can no longer differentiate between what is fake and what is real. I don't know how I feel.”

“And I will always appreciate bad days like this because they grant me a point of reference in regards to my happiness.”

“If the bridge that I was driving over collapsed while I was driving over it that may not be such a bad thing. I would finally meet my maker, I could meet the great creator, and I'd punch him for teaching me how to sing.”

“Don't know if I believe in god but sometimes I pray because the way I was raised keeps me afraid.”

“I hope I can forgive me for having the nerve to exist. I hope someone can help me make some sense of this.”

“Sense and sensibility and peaceful productivity, a pretty girl with broken wings is all that I desire. But there's so much hostility in all the things surrounding me. The awful glow of enmity is trying to stop my shine. So I try to look inwardly at all the things inside of me but sodomy and buggery keep bubbling to the top.”

“I met you once over the phone, you sounded sad and you seemed alone. You left me but I never left you. I never had the chance to.”

“If you spend all your heart on something that has died you are not alive and that can't be your life.”

Knife Man (2011)

“There's no one to blame. People are just fucking mean.”

“So if I see a penny on the ground, I leave it alone or fucking flip it. I'm a straight white male in America. I've got all the luck I need.”

“I've got a pile of broken mirrors and I'm walking under ladders and I'll spill a ton of salt because to me that doesn't matter.”

“You were dead by the time that I had found you. Your blood was spilled on the couch where we had first kissed. So I carried you west to the sea so I could wash you. Your body felt just like a back pack.”

“I hate whiny, fucking songs like this but I can't afford a therapist. Sorry guys, here's a solo.”

“Some days I feel like I'm the weakest and others the strongest. These days are the longest and I've got the weirdest feeling about this and I wanna go away for a while.”

“I wish I had a bullet big enough to fucking kill the sun. I'm sick of songs about the summer.”

“When you have no one, you are no one. Like I said, I used to work at the people pound. All these no ones clumped together, just like a human lost and found. If they left them all be someones there wouldn't be enough to go around. It's better for us all us if there are no ones. And I knew a lot of no ones round that time. They used to all be someones until something took their life and all their someones disappeared while they're stuck there waiting in a line. And for them now, no one seems to have the time.”

“They say ambition is an enemy of weakness and greatness is an enemy of fame.When I pick up my guitar and I try to write a song, I think of what my mentor used to say… “Who fucking gives a rat's ass Steve, just write a love song. Cus they'll keep your belly full and your wallet lined. Don't bother these nice people with your sad sack songs. If you ask me I think they're just a waste of time.””

“Inspiration is the best friend of my sorrow and sorrow is the best friend of my drink. Well I want to look myself in the eye tomorrow but I'm too worried of what other folk's will think.”

“And the troubles in my heart need to get let out. And the troubles in my heart need to escape. And I never liked writing poetry and I never liked doing pottery and God knows that I never learned to paint. So every now and then, I'll sing sad songs. Cus it keeps my spirit light and my conscience clean. And if you don't care to hear I don't mind if you go out for some air. Cus I'm happy that you're happier than me.”

“So I wish I had a cigarette for every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette but I wonder what a cigarette will really do to help that person out. I wish to God I had some spare change for every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change but there's not enough spare change in the world to make such an empty gesture count.”

“You can hope it gets better and you can follow your dreams but hope is for presidents and dreams are for people who are sleeping.”

“You don't have it any better and you don't have it any worse. You're an irreplaceable human soul with your own understanding of what it means to suffer and that’s a huge bummer.”

“I'm afraid of the way I live my life. I'm afraid of the way I don't. I'm afraid of the things that I want to do but I won't. I'm afraid of God. I'm afraid to believe and I'm afraid of all the loved ones that I've made leave. I'm afraid that my dog doesn't love me anymore. I'm afraid of the social laziness that let Kitty Genovese die. And I'm afraid of the mob mentality that makes otherwise normal people go blind. I'm afraid of the way that the world works and I'm afraid of the words in my notebooks. I'm afraid that you all know that I am a pervert.”

“It's harder to be yourself than it is to be anybody else. I wish I were a little less of a coward but the big red bird that lives under the city doesn't give a damn about me and it dies every night. So I bought a knife. I am a knife.”

Rompilation (2012)

“I used to be a spiderman, I used to be a cowboy from hell, but not anymore. Now I'm just a clam and I live inside this shell inside this shell I am. God damn I hate my brain.”

“I'll dip my brain in medicine so that you can stand to be with me.”

“Give me your tired, give me your tired, give me your poor. When our government acts like this, I wonder what World War II was for and the rest of the country hates us more and more. Lady Liberty is not a whore.”

“This is not a protest, it's a tortoise slowly pushing through a race. I hope the tortoise keeps its patience while the hare continues to pepper-spray its face.”

“There is no enemy, there's only people that also love their families and they're scared that they won't have enough long after they are deceased. But how much money do they need? Love turns into fear, and fear turns into greed. There is no enemy, there's only dummies that also love their families.”

“And this is not a phase, it's just a matter of time, with diligence and peacefulness, you will reach them and you will change their minds. If you stay there long enough, they'll start to see you.”

“And when you pushed my face in shit how could that have made you feel like a man or like a monster. It's your fault that I can't tell the difference.”

“In the evening I try songwriting. I'm self loathing, but I love singing. I'll try escaping these evil feelings but they keep coming, they keep coming…”

“So the baby's gonna have a daddy, that's wonderful news. He won't be the greatest parent but neither will you! Gotta get out while you can, otherwise you're screwed. Your legs are broken and your eyes are black and blue.”

“And smoking is like hiring a hitman for five dollars a day, and as cool as that is, I don't wanna keep dying this way.”

Christmas Island (2014)

“Shoot him again ‘cause I can see his soul dancing.”

“If you give it to me I’ll give it back much harder. If you treat me like a son, then I’ll treat you like a daughter. Everyone has a future, everyone has a soul, everyone has a heart, they have a mind, they have control.”

“The Coffin Dancer dances like he has something the prove because he does. He sleeps a couple hours in the morning, hates the morning when he wakes up.”

“The Coffin Dancer dances like he wants to make a friend, but he does not.”

“Getting naked and playing with guns. There's a gerbil in the microwave, a baseball bat in everyone. Sharing kisses and building a bomb. We'll set it off like Microsoft in '94.”

“McDonald's PlayPlace before the Xbox, cake frosting, sweet talking, bedroom wall, covered in knives, touching God, burning shit. We'll make a wish and take a trip to Future Town like our daddy did.”

“Have you ever wanted to be, have you ever wanted to see someone better in the mirror? Have you ever wanted to go, have you ever wanted to know somewhere greener, somewhere cleaner. I bet you got something beautiful in mind.”

“I can’t handle astounding works of beauty. I think I like my pretty pretty ugly but the beautiful soul I witnessed in that movie was an entirely different kind of overwhelming. It was a dog that won’t stop barking. Like a cut that never stops bleeding. Arizona sunsets in the early evening. Or a grown man inconsolably weeping.”

“I am the Kool-Aid stains on the mouth of a kid whose name is most likely Cody. He had a juice box for breakfast and he carries a stick that he most likely found in the alley. Cody doesn't have friends and his parents hate each other and he wants to find a better way to love his family and after school he hangs out in the abandoned house behind the Arby's.”

The Bible 2 (2016)

“Oh, I love you cause I love you cause I can.”

“On your last night at Saint Mary's you were way too intoxicated to breathe. So I used your ribs as ladders and I climbed up on your chest and I jumped up and down just like a trampoline.”

“Confused and rude. Such a special kind of way to be cruel.”

“If I were one of the things, I'd be american garbage. The most beautiful thing. The most beautiful american garbage you have ever seen.”

“No more shame, no more fear, no more dread.”

“And if you don't want to feel the feeling, no one should ever make you feel the feeling.”

“I thought I saw you before I knew who you were.”

“I just wanted to rage but all I got was tired”

“I showed him all the books that I was raised on. Your Madeleine L'Engle(s) and D'Aulaires' Mythologies.”

“And his eyes became a beacon, an LCD projector, broadcasting all my memories in a clear and vivid picture. His tongue became a staircase, his uvula - The knocker of an ornate wooden door that lead me straight into my future. His throat became a hallway with a thousand baby pictures and I became forgiveness, I transformed into the closure that I lost when I learned about the tragedy of all of us. I lost it when I learned about the tragedy of all of us.”

Good Luck Everybody (2019)

“If you don't give it to them they'll starve to death and that's alright.”

“I've got the normalization blues, this isn't normal, this isn't good.”

“I'm detached and I'm distracted, all keyed up but unproductive, vacillating between being all excited and disgusted and then dozing lackadaisically in this bubble where I've made my mental home. Connection's more important now than it ever was, but I'd rather be alone.”

“And when we talk about the president, we're either pissed off or we're giggling about an atrocity he's committing or some stupid shit he's tweeting. He's a symptom and a weapon of the evil men who really run the show. The ones who melt down human beings into money like a cruel Sorcerer's Stone.”

“This is the golden age of dickotry, probably the last golden age of anything, and the ugliest word in the English language is anthropocene. Good luck, everybody. Good luck.”

“But before that, you'll be a doormat, for every vicious narcissist in the world. Oh how they'll screw you, all up and over, then feed you silence for dessert.”

“I'm sorry that you have to have a body, filled with infection, one hundred scabs singing in unison, eyes and hands, sometimes bullets, uninvited, passing through us.”

“Oh to be awake for such a shitty dream. A bullet in the head of every decent thing.”

“The lake of dead black children that America created is getting fuller than the founding Fathers even wanted. The ghost of great America was underestimated and now it rages like a cold sore on the lip of this dumb nation. Again we've slipped inside a pit of absolute despair. That's where we live.”

“Rewarding our worst cruelty, they destroyed our shared reality, and now they upsell us our dignity like some fucked VIP package.”

“There is no absolute, these days there's no such thing as truth and you don't need to be a dick about it.”

“I'm a burnout and a fool, oblivious to all I do. I move my lips when I read and breathe with my mouth open, wide open. Timid, meek, and cruel, this is the best that I can do. I need to speak my truth, yet here I'm broken wide, wide open. My resentment, big and strong, and all the things that I can't change. They'll buckle me beneath the weight. I will drive myself insane with all the things that I can't change. I hate all the things that I can't change.”

“You're a loudmouth and a tool, and as it turns out I am too, and you don't need to be a dick about it.”

“Because I know that you know what I need more than me and I know that you need me more than that.”

“For all the pussies you grab and the children you lock up in prison, for all the rights you roll back and your constant stream of racism, for all the poison you drip in my ear, for all your ugly American fear. I wrote you this beautiful song called Psychic Warfare.”

“I hate you with all of my heart. I hate you with all of my art.”

“I went back to the desert, little Midwest in me, and now I am colder than I used to be. I live in a fortress the shape of my body, and now there's a coldness, and it's shaped like me. Now I don't suffer any more bullshit gladly. Even though everything's bullshit now, here in 2019 and you can bet it's gonna be a bunch of bullshit too out in sweet 2020 or whenever this album's released.”

[misskittysmagicportal]

All You’ve Got Is Gold Part 1

FandomAU!: Billy Delaney/Cormac McNamara x Female OC

Warnings: Slight NSFW, mostly steamy fluff.  Guys this ended up being long as fuck.  And it’s really only chapter one. Or Part 1.

Jeanie leaned over the bar at Ewan's to pour herself another whiskey, ignoring the bartender as he chastised her. "C'mon lass, don't the wee ones file in to the grounds tomorrow?"

"Wee?" she gulped around her swallow. "Ewan, they're pubescent. You know me though, I like to have a bit of a glow every new semester. That way the parents think I'm truly invested in the well-being of the brats." Jean waved her glass around in the air. "Ok, not brats. Most of them are well-behaved and genuinely interested in learning. Not like the little bastards in America. I'd have 40 to a classroom back there. Saint Fergus barely has 40 students in the entire school."

Ewan took it as a sign and gave her a generous pour one more time, "Heard you cannae keep any professors for the pay. But your husband-"

"EX. As of last spring," Jean corrected.

"EX-husband found some new blood in a few of his University students."

"Aye," Jeanie imitated the Scottish brogue with perfection. "They're all in the corner over there with Dr Purves now."

She had half a decade to assimilate to the culture of the small, boring town just outside of Aberdeen where she followed Gordon and married him without any family or a job. He became head of the Physics and STEM department at the University of Aberdeen, working on projects and female students alike. Jeanie, having abandoned her Master's in Education, was really only qualified to student-teach at a local boarding school. Before long, lack of interest and the economy drove the numbers down to four or five dozen and a position of Headmistress open. At least it was a place to live and an existence that kept her mind off everything else.

"I would say don't look now, because here comes one of his students, but my darling who can keep their eyes off him." Ewan pointed behind his friend with damn near literal hearts in his eyes.

Jeanie glanced over her shoulder as a young man, early 20s? She couldn't tell. But he approached her at the bar. Her first glance became a double, and nearly a stare. Embarrassed, she whipped her head around quickly and blushed in Ewan's general direction. "Sweet Virgin Mary," she exhaled under her breath.

"I normally go by Delaney, but I suppose in certain company Mary will do," a soft Irish lilt.

Jean slow blinked as the bartender broke into a cheshire grin. She took a deep breath and turned towards the man now beside her and held out her hand. Blood pulsing in her ears because.. he was stunning. "Brave of a Celt to set foot in the land of Picts. Even braver for him to be in the presence of the biggest asshole in all of Scotland."

"Well from what I've heard she's more of an Ice Queen than an asshole," he squinted before smiling brightly. Green eyes sparkling in the low light of the bar. "Your.. partner put me up to it anyways. You know, say the bit about the ice. Sorry," he blushed but still held on to her hand firmly. "I've heard you're rather pleasant from the others. Just aloof as it were"

"EX!" Ewan and Jean exclaimed together, and the young man blinked responsively. "No sorries. Cold-hearted bitch is what some of the 6th years call me when I confiscate their illegals. Headmistress Jean Turner, but the two friends I have call me Jeanie. Drink?"

"Just one? I'll take 5. I have to catch up with the others." He hooked a thumb at the group of obnoxious men groping the female students who hung off of them as if they were celebrities. Taking what he was offered, chugging it quickly and shuddering. "Billy. Delaney it is. Well occasionally."

Jeanie and Ewan watched as he basically pounded every shot placed in front of them. Squinting off and on, as if he was trying to adjust to the ambiance. "Is it hot? It's hot in here. God I hate people. Those people. I will never fit in with the misogynists and knobs who prefer rugby and football to actually learning about the world." He pulled at the collar of his sweater before taking it off and draping it over Jeanie's chair. He wore a striped tee shirt underneath "Sorry. Sorry. I've got my nose in tech and books and maths algorithms most days. I forget how to socialize, so I really just want to blend in with the norms."

"You.. are.. fit." Ewan sputtered.

Billy snapped back to attention, his mind having drifted off to the same group Jeanie's eyes kept staring at. "What?"

"He's saying you are fucking fit, mate" Jeanie gaped.

"My body? I'm not really certain about that. I'm rather spindly wouldn't you say?” he shrugged while his cheeks flushed profusely. "My arms? Is it my arms? I swim. Clears my head from all the clutter." He was rambling now.

Jeanie and Ewan started laughing. "Relax! we're taking the piss, love. Your every move is being scrutinized. Now why abouts did Dr Purves send you over here? Surely he has fucking with me on his mind. Not unusual, humiliation has always been the name of the game."

Billy made a gesture that resembled adjusting non-existent glasses. He immediately dropped his hand and pulled a tenner out of his pocket. "To melt the ice, Gordon said. He gave me ten quid to hit on you."

"One of his students. What a lovely parting gift. I guess you're worth the loss of the house and the car," Jeanie stood back slightly to properly size him up.

Billy bit the entirety of his bottom lip, furrowing his brows, "I reckon you're worth more than a tenner to sleep with."

Jeanie blinked a few times, head tilted to the side to make sure she heard correctly. "SEX?!" she laughed, unable to help herself. "I don't exactly know what all of this," she waved her hand down his body, "would be doing even in the vicinity of sleeping with this," pointing to her own.

Confusion came over his face, "Am I supposed to be.. Is there something wrong with you that I don't notice? I, I can be kind of oblivious to loads. I think, really, Gordon goaded me into coming over here for my benefit as much as his amusement. I don't have too much experience, but you seem quite lovely you know. Your hair is," brows furrowed again but in thought, "Nicely red in this lighting. Reminds me of my friend from Ireland. Hannah."

Jeanie pinched the bridge of her nose as Ewan audibly guffawed from beside her. "Saints preserve us," the Scotsman said between gasps for air. "Donnae if you are taking the piss now, bloke, or are you really this bad at pulling birds."

Billy grimaced, the entirety of his face beet red. "Honestly, I never make it this far. I guess they usually pull me and I let them?" He started to fan his face, "seriously,,how fucking hot do you keep this pub?" His forehead bent forward to rest on the metal and wood counter of the bar.

Ewan covered his mouth and ruffled the curly head in front of him. "What a wee babby, Dr Purves sent into the lion's den. You just drank half a bottle of my best whiskey and mortified yourself in front of my favorite woman in this whole country. Maybe you ought to drink some water and have a sit for a few. We'll give you something to take to the bell-end in the back."

Jeanie and Ewan's eyes met, and she bit back a smile before leaning over to wrap an arm around her husband's latest protege. "Oh Ewan, I don't think it should be only a story. Why not give the evil genius a bit of a show. Right now he can see Mr Delaney is headed towards a spectacular crash. Im embarrassed. Mr Delaney's embarrassed. You're without very expensive whiskey. Gordon will never let anyone live this down for the semester."

She put her mouth near Billy's ear, "Ten quid is worth SOMETHING. Don't you think? Just look at me." He obliged quicker than she expected. Emerald eyes gazed upwards at her while the heart banged wildly in her chest. "What comes next?"

"I reckon I ought to put my arm on your waist. Right?" his voice now low in her ear and a hand slipped around her hips to draw her as close as possible.

No further guidance was needed as the liquid courage kicked in. Billy stood up and took Jeanie's face in his large hands before he drew her into a rather passionate kiss. Hers instinctively buried in his hair, their tongues dancing as the thought he hustled her entered the back of her mind. How was it that just a few minutes ago he looked ready to vomit at the thought of trying to come on to anyone, not just her. Now he was kissing her like they were Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts. Jeanie’s back slightly arched as Billy dominated her personal space with his height, a hand dangerously on the curve of her backside.

Ewan held his own face, eyebrows lost in his bangs as he watched the two of them go at it for well, he lost time. Glancing up he noticed just about everyone else in the pub was watching too. Gordon positively green with envy and turning purple with anger. Ewan saw him lean to a colleague and mouth, "That wasn't the fucking deal."

"Job done you two," he cleared his throat and practically shouted to break them up.

Jeanie's mouth was cold as it kissed the air. Billy had stumbled backwards a bit, mouth turned down ever slightly in a whoops motion. He walked, swayed really and floated by every single patron, including the group of men he came in with earlier. Fingers pulled at his bottom lip before he passed a devilish grin over his shoulder in Gordon's direction.

Jeanie and Ewan gobsmacked, but pleasantly amused, looked at one another. Mischief in their eyes as Jeanie noticed Billy's sweater draped over the bar. "Mr Balderston, I think I have a grad student to visit this week. It seems Mr Delaney might need his sweater because the Scottish nights get awfully cold."

Orientation came and went, and the students seemed to settle in quicker than normal.  Quite possibly because this was the lowest attendance in the school’s 150 year history.  They had been in danger of shut down, but Jeanie was informed that first Monday by the Board of Directors that an anonymous group of donors had decided, against their wishes, to purchase the school.  Even if no students came back the following school year, or they were down to only 15 or 10 or 5, Saint Fergus would remain open for unknown reasons.  

To say she was relieved was an understatement for Jeanie.  Much needed repairs were being made, and someone had come to put together a state of the art security system.  Which really confused the faculty and dwindling staff.  Who would steal anything from this junk heap?  Even their books were falling apart.  Except they weren’t.  

By the end of the first week, the girls in their dormitories and in the hallways were abuzz with brand new Literature and Maths books.  They were suddenly interested in Oscar Wilde and Pythagoras.  Jeanie watched as three 4th years sat in the windowsill and audibly cracked open their copies of “The Happy Prince,” stars in their eyes.  

“Have you ever seen anyone as good looking as Dr McNamara?  Honestly, I don’t know how I’ll pay attention to anything else but that voice,” she held her book against her chest.

“Oh c’mon Siobhan.  It’s all about the eyes.  I don’t think I’ve seen anything like them.  Proper green.  If he sticks around, I’ll tell Daddy to talk to all of his barrister friends. Get them to enroll their kids here next year.” 

The third girl was clearly in a daydream out the window, “All I heard today was blah blah blah ‘important in oratory history of Ireland’ blah blah.  Lemme tell you, he can give me an oral exam any day.”

Jeanie cleared her throat and the students jumped nearly a mile high.  “It would do you girls a kindness not to sexually harass our newest teacher at Saint Fergus.”  The smallest hint of a smile on her lips.  “Honestly, how is it that I'm headmistress here and have no bloody clue who this mysterious Dr McNamara is?”

“Well rumor has it, Miss, that he bought the school.  Dr Purves hired him for a project at the uni, and he asked to be right in the thick of the school.”  Siobhan shrugged.

“What do you mean?” 

“Oh he’s installing the security system and having a new science laboratory built,” the daydreaming girl chimed in.

“I thought it was a grad student that was teaching here this semester?  Have any of you heard the name Billy Delaney?  I’ve been looking for him the last week or so, but I can't find him in Aberdeen housing.  I’d like to return his sweater.”  Jeanie’s face flushed pink, and the girls all cast a knowing grin in her direction.

“Has Miss got a crush herself?” Siobhan teased.  “There’s no student teachers this year, but did you say Billy Delaney?”  

“Yes.  Does that name sound familiar to you too?”  

The girls stood and handed Jeanie paperback books one by one.  A stack of them, young adult novels that had grown incredibly popular the last few years.  A stone wall with a glowing green and gold light graced the cover.  “A Green Pool of Light: Emerald City to Oz  Book 1” blazed across the top in that standard stereotyped font that represented all things Irish.  The daydreaming girl, Aila Jeanie would come to find out, opened her copy and ran a finger down the page.  “Yeah, he’s like a gender bent Hermione in these books.” 

Jeanie frowned and flipped through the pages.  The girls all started to laugh, not mean-hearted but in the way kids do at adults when they become lost in the world of anyone under 20.  “That’s Dr McNamara, Miss Turner, and he’s living in the Boys Dorms.”

Jeanie blinked a few times, too many times in disbelief.  The girls dissolved into hysterics and headed off to their next set of classes.  Things maybe just got a bit easier but harder at the same time.

--------------------------------------

Jeanie stared incredulously at herself in the mirror.  When exactly was the last time she showed up to any man’s room wearing only a coat and her underwear?  Or well, a sweater in this case.  She waited until the school was dark and quiet, she couldn’t risk one of the students seeing her dressed this way.  On her way to do a dance of seduction.  No, that’s humiliating.  This was all humiliating.  

What in the hell am I  even doing? She thought.  But it was too late, her legs carried her into the halls and across the floors and up into the West Wing where the boys slept. Tip-toeing quick and stealthy to the only source of light on this side of the school.  

Jeanie took a deep breath and knocked on the open door.  His back was to her, sitting with one foot up on the chair, a knee drawn up to his chest in the most awkward of positions.  His dark head was bent over an abundance of little digital boxes spread across a desk that he tinkered with under a magnifying glass.  Several computers and laptops spread around the room running codes attached to various projects simultaneously.  Lost in his work, he ignored her.

Sighing heavily, Jeanie knocked louder this time.  She raised one hand up the door frame, leaning in the most tempting pose she could muster at 11pm on a Thursday.  His head popped up, and he only glanced over his shoulder in her direction before going back to his work.  

“Well took ye long enough to find me, Miss Turner.  Wanna see what I’ve put together for the school?”  he queried without paying any attention to her attire.  

Jeanie felt the bile rise in her throat.  How in the hell was she ever going to feel better about herself when this man wouldn’t even acknowledge her?  Was it too late to just slip back down in the shadows and melt away like she never existed?  Still she took a breath and made her way to the desk and stopped directly behind him.  She bent forward over his shoulder, her hair brushed against his face and neck.  There was a nearly inaudible hitch in his breathing as she picked up one of the boxes.  Did she make him nervous?  Good, she thought and chewed her lip to prevent a smirk sneaking through.

“Well Mr Delaney.  Or is it McNamara?” She studied the box carefully and poked at it with her nail.

“Doctor” he interjected huskily.  He was nervous.  “I’ve got a PhD,” he corrected.

“Are you even old enough for a doctorate?!” she retorted.

“I’m 24, thank you very much.  I suppose that’s quite young to have several PhDs, but I don’t really keep track.  If it makes you feel better, I'm also a chef. Cooking is just science after all,” he said almost dismissively.    “Oh, That is L.I.S.A. you’re holding.  Large-scale Interface Security Application.”

Jeanie snorted; she couldn't help it.   “Do you mean an alarm system?”

“No it’s a specified security application that only I know how to program and,” he caught himself.  “Yes.  It’s an alarm system.”  He rolled his eyes and gently took the machine back from her and placed it amongst the others.

“If you're working with Gordon on some kind of secret project, why are you teaching Literature?” Jeanie launched into everything without really meaning to. “You know Dr Delaney or whoever the hell you are, several of the girls brought to my attention that there’s a character in those young adult novels written by Hannah O'Flaherty. “A Pool of Green Light?” They are quite popular with our 1st-4th years.  You're Billy Delaney aren't you?  That’s why you gave that name in the pub the other night instead of your real name.  That being Cormac McNamara, am I correct?”  She placed her hands on hips hidden in the mass of wool and cable knit.  

"Delaney is part of my last name. Hyphenated.” once again correcting the headmistress.

 "Don't see much of that in men" 

"Well it and my brain are about all my parents left me,” he moved to face his chair towards Jeanie and abandon his project. 

 "Well I bet they're proud of you, Cormac. Or Billy.  Whatever.” she waved her hand dismissively.  “You lot discovered.. what's it called?" 

"Dimensional Dark Matter Transport with the possibility of Inter and Temporal" 

"I mean, Portals. Or to put it in tv nerd terms: Beam me up Scotty" 

"Precisely!” Cormac exclaimed and stood up excitedly.  “And your ex-boyfriend-" 

"Husband" 

“Yes, husband.  Well couldn't have been good at it if he's your ex.” He bit a finger absently, staring off towards the ceiling.  Then snapped back to attention quickly,  “Well he wants to find a way to make it.. Portable. Not just in plotted locations around the globe. And my business partners, em Hannah and Brett if you will, would like it privatized. Dr Purves, he wants the highest bidder." 

"Military?” Jeanie blanched at the thought.  Then her voice drifted off, “So the books ARE real.. You three are real.  Hannah hid the stories in plain sight for the entire world to discover"  And for the first time, she noticed a framed photo on the vast desk.  A trio of happy young people: red-headed girl, pretty with large blue eyes.  A floppy haired, tan surfer type.  And a tall, lanky boy with oval glasses and severely parted hair starting to curl.  Jeanie took the frame and traced her fingertip along the glass. “Sarah, Zack and Billy.  This is like finding out Harry, Ron and Hermione are living, breathing people.  And here you are, in my school.”

"I could show you if you want but.. Miss Turner, why are you only in a sweater?" Cormac stepped back and lifted his glasses and put them back down. He took them off hurriedly as if he was embarrassed to be wearing them.  Turning once more to face her "Is.. Is that MY sweater? You're only in. Jeanie, Where are your pants?" 

"Well I planned on seducing you Mr.." 

"Doctor" -

Jeanie sighed as if she had been defeated, "DOCTOR Delaney-McNamara" 

"Well Ive mucked that up I suppose,” a deep crimson set across his ears.

" I mean you can have your sweater back,” Jeanie arched an eyebrow seductively. Pulling the sweater over her head to reveal only a pair of her nicest black panties and bra underneath.  Nothing else.

"Thank you it's quite my favorite-" Cormac’s eyes widened when he noticed the headmistress in front of him wearing nothing but lingerie.  He squinted briefly while scratching his head.  “Oh.. Jeanie. That’s..” his voice drifted off lost in shock.

Ignoring the embarrassment growing in her chest, Jeanie crossed her arms over her chest.  “Why in the hell did you take your glasses off?”

“Oh, em.. Hannah always tells me I’m far more attractive without them.” he shrugged.

“Just like how Clark Kent is only slightly, by a molecule,” Jeanie pinched her fingers together, “less sexy than Superman with his glasses" 

"But his glasses are fake,” Cormac ignored the obvious joke.  “Right now I can just see shapes. Lovely, curved shapes! but only shapes." waving a hand in her general direction again.

Jeanie sat down on his bed without the sweater, to protect her now she just decided to go with her original plan. She crossed her long legs and leaned back with one hand back on the mattress. "Ok give us a look with the glasses on, Delaney.. Mcnamara?" This was frustrating.

"No, I reckon I'll have the kids call me Cormac" his hands on thin hips as he glanced upwards in thought

"Yes, erase that line of authority between yourself and 11-15 year olds. Don't underestimate them, Billy.  Or Cormac.  Or whatever.  You are probably the smartest professor Saint Fergus has ever had, but you’re handsome.  My girls will eat you alive" 

"I wouldn't go that far!" he was exasperated for some reason. 

"You have five PhDs and can’t even legally rent a car in America yet," Jeanie pointed out. 

Cormac waved her off dismissively.  “No!  Not the smart or genius part.  That is true,” he agreed without pretension. “It’s the handsome part,” he rolled his eyes in frustration.  

“Look McNamara, I can’t tell if you’re being humble or an asshole.  Your constant squinting and inflamed cheeks are ruining my perception.”

"Inflamed.." he touched his face  "It's rather distracting. You in your.  I may realize now that's your intent. I'm not really NEW to this, uh women coming on to me. It's just not always quite so forward?"

 "Had I known you were a doctor of  Quantum Mechanics, my approach would be a little less intense. 10 quid or not, you were the one kissing me last night." Jeanie got up off the bed "Ill go, but can I take your sweater with me? The students don't need to see this" 

"Oh, em do ya have to? You're already here, and I'm sure quite lovely to look at." 

"Cormac put your glasses on" 

"Really?" he was adorably confused "I would have to take them off if we-" 

"Have sex?" 

"I didn't mean to imply- I've never really-" he nervously put his glasses back on. Then started fiddling with his hands and chewing on one. 

"No fucking way!” Jeanie sat up quickly “But you're-" 

"Oh please don't say hot." 

"Well-travelled?"

"I am not completely virginal, I'll have ye know! I've done tings. SEXY tings. I've put my mouth and fingers in places on a woman. I'm just picky about where I’d put my penis."  

Jeanie’s amused now, she can’t help it. An eyebrow raised and a laugh ready to escape because he's pacing around and gesticulating wildly now. "Are.. are you getting more Irish?" 

"MAYBE I AM!" he shouted louder than he meant to, then unexpectedly pulled his shirt over his head.

Jeanie laughed at the absurdity now. "Cormac. Or Billy, whatever you are more comfortable with." She kneeled on the bed coming to the edge of it. "We don't have to do this. I'm not asking you to justify your virginity; that your business. It’s a patriarchal construct anyways to make us feel like we have to engage in sexual activity.  Then when we do, we’re trash.  It’s a no-win situation for anyone. I LIKE you. We have all school year to get to know one another better."

“I think Dr Delaney-McNamara, but Cormac works just fine for you” his tone all at once softer and deeper.  

There was a weird electricity in the air, which very well could have been the obscene amount of tech equipment in the small dorm room.  It could have also been that the atmosphere switched so fast from mortification to that moment your body knows something is going to happen.  Jeanie’s head began to swim when she realized the young man in front of her was unbuttoning his jeans to step out of them.  

“Bloody hell...” was all she could utter before he wrapped her up in his arms.  

Jeanie’s hand on Cormac’s hip and the other tangled in his hair as they found themselves in another kiss.  Mouths dancing together.  She sat back and pulled him down so that he was laying completely on top of her now.  His skin was hot almost like a sunburn.  Somewhere, in the back of her mind, Jeanie thought maybe a literal electricity had settled in him from using the portals so often all these years. Their tongues pushed back and forth, she realized his body began to feel similar to one of those static glass balls.  The kind you press your hand against and every single hair on your body raises?  It was strange and exhilarating and comical all at once. 

The thought was fleeting though because Cormac’s lips made its way down Jeanie’s neck.  The breath caught in her throat as he bit softly before trailing to her chest.  His large hand gripped the flesh of her hip, snaking it around to grab at her backside before settling it between her thighs.  The other struggled to unhook her bra while in their current position, his annoyance eliciting a giggle.  

Managing to roll them so that she was on top now, Jeanie deftly reached behind herself to finish the job.  Her breasts free, Cormac took one in his mouth.  His tongue was warm against her skin as he began to suck and lick at a nipple and the flesh around it.  Alternating between each hungrily, hand still lost in between her thighs.  A  finger began to trace the fabric of her panties.  

Audible gasp now, as Jeanie fumbled to reciprocate any way she could.  Kissing his forehead?  or rocking her hips against his hand, she began to float outside of her body. What was she doing?  Trying to feel wanted after all of this time?  Maybe give the other adults something to gossip about over the weekend.  Attractive new professor, the benefactor of Saint Fergus, fucking the boss his first week in.  Jeanie was his boss, but also his subordinate?  Because Cormac, with Brett and Hannah, owned her livelihood now.  

“What a fine mess we’re in, Delaney,” she managed amongst the new spate of kisses.  

Ignoring Jeanie’s frank statement, Cormac took to nibbling her throat again. Exchanging now for harder bites, just enough to let her know he had the upper hand. Fingers deftly pumping rhythmically with the pulsating of her body. He found that part of her with ease. The button Gordon never could without neon arrows. 

“I walked through an alien portal at sixteen and made one of the greatest scientific discoveries none of us can talk about,” That Irish lilt heavy in her ear. “A fine mess has been the last decade of my life, Ms. Turner.”   

There was almost a reckless abandon as Jeanie unexpectedly came. She cried out; it echoed off the dorm walls briefly before Cormac clamped a hand over her mouth. Their eyes both wide before they lost themselves in a fit of giggles. 

Lying beside each other now on the bed, Jeanie felt self-conscious while Cormac absently twirled a finger in her mass of red hair. She felt his green eyes staring as she traced the infinity symbol with the tip of a nail on his chest. Their breathing patterns quickly marched in time together.

“Not sure why I have a gut feeling your timidity was a fucking game,” Jeanie spoke without a hint of anger. More like curiosity. 

“Only just a little. I am far more capable of handling people in small doses.  There's a  certain anxiety hanging around the average university student. I finished undergrad in a year and graduate school in another. Never really fit in with most people my age. I thrived in a boarding college like this one. Never more than 15 children a class. Miss Murphy let me do as I please because I kept mostly to myself, even when she and the others were strangely codependent on my brain.”  

Cormac’s eyes still trained on Jeanie while he spoke. “I didn't mind. I DON'T mind. My tinkering and projects work bloody fantastic now!” he exclaimed with pride. Those long fingers combed through Jeanie's hair. His gaze became nostalgic, “I transferred my AI tech into the lab at Aberdeen.  There's my  personal version.  She's asleep right now,” he chuckled, gesturing towards the wall of monitors. 

Jeanie grimaced, “She?!” 

“Oh yes! SILVIA! I suppose she'll become LISA’s big sister.” 

“You invented a primitive android.” her response was incredulous.

“No no. SILVIA was a lie detector I installed artificial intelligence in to play ch-..” Cormac caught himself. For the hundredth time that evening, “I suppose. Yes,” he tapped a finger against the soft dimple in his cheek. 

“You suppose!” Jeanie reeled with laughter once more.  

Cormac’s face flushed pink, “You know what I did to you was just basic anatomy that’s easily taught by reading a damn book. I reckon you'd be interested in what else reading has taught me about a woman's body.”

And so it began. 

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and Her Gunn (Part 115 1Xs2) True Intentions

@crystalbaby12 @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @5sosfam1dlover @rosefilledhearts-blog

"What the hell was that all about?" Slim asks Colson once he's back on his feet.

"Talk to that snitchen' ass bitch over there." Colson glares at Pete who's still holding Kevin.

"Me?" Pete looks around himself and the alien with a snort. "If I was the snitch she'dve kicked me not you, BITCH." He deadpans.

"Can you two just shut the fuck up for a minute and tell me what started this shit?" Slim demands, becoming frustrated over their bickering.

"Dickhead told her I said something to him about her affair." Colson shoots a dirty look at Pete as he rubs his shin.

"Don't even try to put that on me... Cuz ya did. And obviously to other people too." Pete shoots back, cocking his chin over at Slim and his knowledge instead of shock.

"You better watch your mouth, Davidson." Colson growls.

"Ohhh nooo!! You gonna kick my ass?" He mocks by waving his free hand in fake fear. "I'm fucking outta here. See ya, Slim." They exchange nods as he turns on his heel to walk up the slanted road.

"You and your alien better stay the FUCK away from her!" Colson shouts from behind him.

"YOU SHOULD DO MORE STAND UP BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING HILARIOUS!!" Pete cackles the rest of the way up the slight hill with Kevin in tow.

"STOP." Slim puts his hand against Colson's chest firmly before he can react. "You know you don't wanna fucking fight Pete... Tell me what's goin' on." He advises his old friend as he drops his hand and lights up a Backwood.

"I let some shit slip to him and instead of shutting the fuck up he ran his mouth to her." Colson huffs in anger and frustration.

"Where you think she went this time?" Slim asks as he passes the blunt and notices that it's beginning to rain.

"I don't fucking know... Anywhere?" Colson shakes his head as he takes a deep pull.

---------------------------------------------------

Pete calls Luna immediately once he's inside of a cab. "Yo... " He starts to lay into her once she answers. "You cheated on Justin? Who the fu... "

On the other end of the line, Luna's blood begins to boil. She's ducked under an awning out of the rain. Annoyed, she pulls the phone away from her ear and looks at it before replacing it.

"Are you my boyfriend?" She quickly cuts Pete off. "Have you ever been my boyfriend? No, I don't fucking think so. Therefore, don't call me up questioning me about some shit that has nothing to do with you. I don't owe you or anyone else an explanation so fuck off." Luna hurls out before hanging her phone up and turning it OFF.

"Why Colson?" Luna sighs heavily as she leans against the brick wall. "Why do you have to be so fucking petty sometimes." She begins to rummage aimlessly through her bag. Lighting a joint, she takes a break from the rain while staying lost inside of her own head.

---------------------------------------------------

"Where the fuck could she be?" Colson wonders to himself after searching The Brownstone for Luna. He's called her a dozen times but it's going straight to voicemail. "FUCK." He sighs, rubbing the back of his head.

It's 330A. They have a call time of 6A. Standing on their front stoop, Colson Snaps Luna. Walking back inside, he doesn't know what else to do.

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Luna spends the night skating through The City with a bottle of Jack. Contemplating on to do with her feelings for Colson. There's a certain trust barrier that's been broken between them and Luna's unsure of how to handle it. EVERYTHING inside of her is screaming that he'll be the cause of her downfall as tears sporadically drop like the rain around her.

"It's not like you'll leave him." Luna angrily pushes off of the ground as she continues to glide through the streets. "This shit is way more intense than before." She acknowledges to herself what she's been avoiding. That she's bound to Colson in a deeper way than she ever felt to Justin. She's known it since that first night at The Gramercy. "He's gonna hem you up." She continues to argue with herself and the bottle of Jack as she floats around the familiar scenery of Brooklyn.

It's almost 5A when Luna finally shows back up at The Brownstone. Colson had dozed off while sitting up on their bed. She stares at him when she comes in as new tears form. Quietly gathering her things, she heads into the bathroom to shower. Locking the door behind her. Finally turning her phone back ON there's a ton of missed calls. She opens the single Snap from Colson.

Huge tears fall as she stares at his face. "MOTHERFUCKER." Is all she can think. Knowing in that moment; regardless of what the logic in her brain keeps trying to say, that Colson has her heart. Stepping into the running shower Luna's shoulders heave under the weight of the water and her tears. "I can't breathe without my heart." She shudders at the thought of losing him more than her own freedom.

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"You're back." Colson opens his eyes to the sound of Luna chopping up pills in the bathroom.

"Yeah." She calls out simply as she snorts two thick rails of powder; a line of three 30mg Percocets and one of two 30XR Adderall.

"Where've you been?" Colson asks cautiously as he climbs off of the bed.

"Out." Is her only word as she comes into the bedroom to continue getting dressed. Throwing on a pair of his joggers and a tight, black tank. "We've gotta go soon." She tells him flatly when he reaches for her.

"Loon... Please." Colson lightly begs as their eyes meet, causing her heart to ache.

"You need to shower. There's 30s for you on the sink." She answers quietly before walking out of their bedroom.

Colson throws himself back on the bed in frustration, laying there for a couple more minutes before getting up and going into the bathroom. His head is pounding and he got barely any sleep. Turning on the water, he steps into the shower and let's last night's funk rinse off of him. With his back leaned against the wall, his hand automatically goes for his morning wood. Lightly playing with himself he grows harder as his mind drifts to the last time him and Luna were in their bathroom together. Pulling firmly on his thick cock, he starts to breathe heavier as he puts one hand out on the wall to brace himself. The memories of Luna's warm mouth making him burst.

"FUCK... How am I going to fucking fix this..." He worries as he does his daily slew of morning drugs and finishes up in the bathroom.

---------------------------------------------------

"Who is THAT?" Rook pants when he sees Jackie strolling down the street towards them.

Dressed to kill as always, her short wavy hair flows as she glides along in a pair of black leather pants and a simple, black Givenchy T shirt. Large, thin metal earrings and an oversized leather bag top off her fierce look.

"Morning Loons!" She leans in for a bright kiss to the cheek.

"Hi Jack." Luna kisses her back before she greets Sam and is introduced to The Guys.

They're standing behind ABC Studios while Rook continues to salivate over Jackie. His sweet little mouth can't form a word to speak to her as everyone bullshits and makes pleasantries. Colson tries to lace his fingers inside of Luna's to which she pulls back. Catching her eye, he feels a soul shattering disconnect.

"We gotta go." Luna announces as she heads towards the front door.

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"There is no backing track." Luna argues. "That's the whole fucking point of a live performance."

"You have no pre-recordings of it at all?" The GMA staff member continues to question her.

"No. It's a brand new song that we're giving YOUR show the EXCLUSIVE to." Luna reiterates the significance. "You know what? I don't really give a FU... "

"Okay... Let's all just calm down." Jackie's sweet voice comes in from behind Luna. "The ONLY song specified in the contract is Bad Things, meaning my client and YOUR guests have the choice of the second song with no stipulations. If you'd like to get your lawyers, I'll happily contact Miss. Smith's and Mr. Baker's also." Jackie squeezes Luna's shoulders as she stares at the staff member firmly.

"Lemme check with production." Is all he can say with a shaking head before walking away.

"Where did that come from?" Luna turns around amazed.

"I told you and Monica, I got this." Jackie smiles slyly.

"I knew I made a good choice. Thank you!" Luna gushes with a smirk as she squeezes Jackie into a tight hug.

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"And now, Machine Gun Kelly featuring THAT Brooklyn Bitch!!" Robin Roberts introduces them to the cheering crowd. "Performing their hit single Bad Things!"

Luna, Colson and his band are set up on the outdoor SummerStage placed on the corner of Broadway and 44th St. It's 8A in the morning, they're both tired, wired and fighting. They've fought before but neither has ever been this miserable during a performance together. Both are dressed down, easily showing off their mood to anyone who knows them. Him in a white Hotel Diablo T and ripped jeans while she's wearing a simple, goldish slip dress with her Docs. The only jewelery she has on is his padlock and engagement rings; bringing him slight relief.

The show must go on though... And it does. As always. Luna opens up on the keys easily. Wrapping her voice around the opening chorus as the masses below her sing along. The Boys are electric. Rook roaring away as Baze keeps the rhythm while AJ and Colson slide over their guitar riffs before Colson kicks in for his first verse.

One Look.

With the slight catch of The Eye, that's it. Well, at least OnStage. They fall into step with each other too easily, toning it down for morning television slightly; the chemistry and pure fire between Luna and Colson is still undeniable in their performance. Taunting and teasing each other as they roam the stage and command America's living rooms. As always, they end with Colson scooping Luna up for a kiss.

"I love you." He says lightly as he leans in.

"Mmm... I fucking hate you." She lowly coos with a sweet smile while kissing him back on the cheek for the crowd and then disappearing SideStage for not only a commercial break but to get her shit together around Colson.

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"Bad Things is doing extremely well for the two of you." Robin compliments them.

"Yeah, we're really proud of it." Colson smiles, using this as an opportunity to slide his arm around Luna's shoulders.

"It's off his album Hotel Diablo that just dropped July 5th. You should check it out, it's such a deep story that you can't help but be engulfed by it's journey." Luna plugs as she wraps her arm around his waist and rests her hand on Colson's chest out of instinct.

"Is there gonna be a tour?" She asks Colson.

"Hotel Diablo, baby! We did one earlier in the summer and we're headed across seas next month. Hopefully we'll hit another one stateside when we get back." Colson answers as he pulls Luna closer.

"FUCK... I hate him so FUCKING much." Luna screams mentally as her whole body throbs for Colson. His arm around her bare skin is like ice cream on a hot summer day. Melting and sticking to her soul. She wants to hate him but she can't. On all levels. Physically, mentally and emotionally. He fucking has her.

"So do you guys go on tour together?" Comes another question.

"Yeah, for the most part." Colson looks down at her for support.

"Bad Things is one of the regulars on his set lists so if I'm not working on another project, I'm usually with him." Luna admits.

"Aww... That's gotta be a lot of fun for you guys." The unknowing host assumes. "And today you're gonna debut a new song for us?" Robin grins at the roaring crowd. "Is this off Hotel Diablo also?"

"No." Luna speaks again. "This will probably be off my upcoming double album." She informs the public for the first time.

"A double album? Wow!! When can we expect that?" The host asks with a shocked response as Luna ignores her, moving away from Colson and grabbing her electric. "Well, don't let me hold you up." Robin nervously laughs. "Gracing us again... THAT Brooklyn Bitch and Machine Gun Kelly!!" She introduces them to the LIVE audience's wild applause.

Luna looks over to Sam first. Then Baze. Tuning her guitar she tosses an Eye to Colson. It's unamused and asks if he's ready as she adjusts the mic. His eyes say more than Yes and kills her soul.

Luna makes her guitar whine before Baze evens her out and Sam kicks in with the her steady, quick paced drums. Sliding into the main rhythm, Colson's guitar punches in to match hers. The beat is raw and powerful while Luna's deep voice brings it back to it's inner melodic tune.

🎼They say //He likes a good time//Well so do I//He comes alive//At midnight//That's when we thrive//My friends //No they don't trust him//Ask me why //They say he's into//Bad Things//But so am I🎶

Luna rips a mini solo while swirling her hips with the beat as Sam pounds away. Colson and Baze continuing to balance them both out. Luna stepping back up to the mic to lay the first official verse.

🎶A little bit older//Hates my//Black leather JACKET//Both got bad reputations//With insatiable HABITS//He was on to me//One Look//And I had to leave//Cuz//As soon//As he kissed me//We popped off//And were CRACKEN'🎶

Luna grabs the mic as Colson changes his chords to back her. Glancing over at him again he catches her eye before she unleashes her furry. This performance has such a different feel from when it first originated.

🎶THEY TALK//ALL THIS SHIT//'BOUT HOW//I'M A BAD GIRL//TONIGHT//IMMA SHOW YOU//WHAT IT'S LIKE//TO MEET HER🎶

Sam drops her beat to a low rumble. Baze kicking in with the same electronic ripping sound from Floor 13. His bass jarring through the air as Colson continues to play through the chords and move across the stage towards Luna.

🎶They say //He likes a good time//Well so do I//He comes alive//At midnight//That's when we thrive//My friends //No they don't trust him//Ask me why //They say he's into//Bad Things//But so am I🎶

Luna can't help but drop her head against Colson's shoulder blade as they lean back to back against each other. Both ripping their guitars and thriving off of each other before he takes over her mic. Hearts pounding as he lays his piece.

🎶Look... //She the type//To break//Your ass bad//Have you runnen' //Quicker//Than one of //Mr. White's bags//I be rockin' wit//THAT Bitch//You know she//Be rockin' wit me//You a special//Type of dumb //To think//You can stop her//From doin'//What she please//The kind //To whoop your ass//Then have you//On your knees//Looking up//Still begging//Like come on//Kiss me please //Don't say it too loud//Cuz that's MY girl //So trust and believe//That I won't wait//Or hesitate to//Jack you up too//Like a mini //Slim Shady🎶

Luna steps up face to face with Colson to the mic as his words make her pussy drip. There's that ALWAYS present electricity between them as they both continue to rip through the song together. Luna staring at him with THAT One Look. Giving her a sly smile he kisses her cheek before she kicks in and he backs away to let her focus.

🎶THEY TALK//ALL THIS SHIT//BOUT HOW//I'M A BAD GIRL//TONIGHT//IMMA SHOW YOU//WHAT IT'S LIKE//TO MEET HER

HE'S ROCKING//THAT BOX//AS HE'S MAKING//ME PURR//WE'RE SO OBSCENE//HE'S GOT ME//SAYING YES SIR🎶

Luna grins at Colson as he steps closer to her. Their guitars playing off one another's as their bodies pulsate from being so close to each other. Her pussy swells, wanting him just as badly as he does her. She can't help herself; it's like a fucking deficiency.

🎶They say //He likes a good time//Well so do I//He comes alive//At midnight//That's when we thrive//My friends //No they don't trust him//Ask me why //They say he's into//Bad Things//But so am I🎶

The four of them unleash their instruments. Sam slamming into the kit as Baze leans into his chords. Colson head banging while he slashes on his guitar as Luna continues to play while belting out the lyrics.

🎶MY OH MY//OH MY OH MY//They're calling you//The Devil, Baby//MY OH MY//OH MY OH MY//That makes me//Your Persephone//Without the maybe//MY OH MY//OH MY OH MY🎶

Luna's up at the mic as Colson teases her with his guitar. As much as she wants to be mad at him she can't help but smile again as she sings about him. Cocking her lip, her voice snakes around the lyrics as she glares at him and her body dies for his touch.

🎶They say //He likes a good time//Well so do I//He comes alive//At midnight//That's when we thrive//My friends //No they don't trust him//Ask me why //They say he's into//Bad Things//But so am I//So am I//Yeah so am I🎶

Their instruments taking over again before rounding out to a grand applause. Sam rumbles in the background as Colson throws his guitar over his shoulder and grabs Luna around the waist through hers. She can't help but grin as he plants a solid kiss on her lips.

"THAT Brooklyn Bitch and Machine Gun Kelly!!" Rings lowly in her ears amongst the screaming behind them.

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"Just shut the fuck up." Luna kisses Colson through their words as she pulls him into their dressing room.

Turning around, she bends over the closest object. It's the arm of a couch. Hiking her tight dress up, she pulls down her black panties as Colson presents his rock solid dick.

"Kitten... " Colson tries to speak as Luna works him into her with her hand.

"Unh Unh." She mumbles, tossing up the other arm to indicate his silence.

Slightly offended, Colson grabs Luna's hips and pushes himself into her deeper. Making her moan and slightly shake. Showcasing his authority, he wraps his fist inside her long blonde hair. Controlling everything about her as she bucks against him. Luna's walls tighten as they both draw closer; reaching around from behind her, she grabs his ass. Clutching it in her nails, she keeps him in place as she slams herself into his hips until they both equally explode.

"Fuck Loons... " Colson sighs as he kisses the back of her neck.

"Mmm... We've gotta go." She tells him again for the third time today to his dismay.

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"I need you to call Lee Foster. Let 'em know I'm coming and that I wanna use Studio A... If it's booked I'll comp the artist's next two sessions." Luna tells Jackie once they're all back on the NYC streets.

"I don't know who that is... " She hesitates.

"The manager of Electric Lady Land Studios... Just mention my name along with what I said and we should be good." Luna quietly explains. "Meet me at the storage unit later?" She then asks before throwing her hand up for a cab to Jackie's nod. Luna turns to Sam. "Hey... Change of plans. We're gonna record here. Jack's trying to book us now. See that Mike's cool, please?" She asks of her.

"Yeah. No problem." Sam responds easily to Luna's Thanks as her and Colson climb into a cab.

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"Electric Lady Land Studios, hunh?" Colson tries to make small talk with Luna for the first time in their lives. "How you gonna get in there?" He asks.

Luna turns to him with standoffish eyes. "I own part of it." She states flatly.

"Seriously?" He asks in disbelief.

"Yeah. I've been a silent owner since I was 18yrs old... There's A LOT you don't fucking know about me." She sighs loudly as she pulls up her black hoodie and looks out the window.

"She has so many fucking secrets... " Colson sighs to himself as he looks out his own window. Inching his fingers across the seat for Luna's, there's less than a half inch between them and he can feel the heat. Before he can touch her, she lifts her hand and lays it in her lap.

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Arriving at Monica's office in Lower Manhattan, Colson and Luna meet up with his personal lawyer Cyrus. Placed in a private room they exchange introductions and pleasantries while waiting for Monica. Luna and Colson both still feeling off kilter.

"Hey!" Monica greets them with a rushed smile. "Sorry I'm late... How is everyone?" She asks as she scans the tense room.

The signing is quick. Holding nothing of Colson's or Luna's in the contract; only Robert Maplethorpe's personal catalog, it's exactly what they spoke about. Before they know it, Colson and Luna are back out on the pavement. Neither questioning their choice surprisingly even though this felt more like a business transaction rather than anything remotely personal.

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"Come're... " Colson reaches for Luna's waist after they walk out of a stupid ass Starbucks; refusing to buy a coffee she has a strawberry smoothie.

"No." She declines as she shakes him off of her hips.

"What the FUCK, Luna?" Colson demands, growing tired of her coldness.

"REALLY?" Luna bites back.

"Yeah REALLY. We just fucked and signed our God Damn PreNump... So yeah, WHAT THE FUCK?" He throws his hand up in the air in frustration and shakes his head.

"YOU FUCKED UP!" Luna snaps while grabbing the tip of her hoodie.

"THEN WHY'D YOU FUCK ME!?!" Colson shouts at her in annoyance. "OR FUCKING SIGN ANYTHING!?!"

"BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!" Luna screams before throwing her smoothie to the right of him. It hits the wall and splatters everywhere just like she had intended; her aim is rarely off.

"WHAT THE FUUUUUCK!!" He yells as little spots of pink goo land on him.

"Go tell Pete and ask him how to clean it out." She snarks before jogging off across the street.

"YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING BITCH!!" Colson screams after her as she gets into a cab.

"She's fucking insane. She's fucking flat out fucking insane." Colson stews as he looks at his tainted shirt. "Where the fuck is she going though? I swear to God I'm gonna fucking kill her one of these days." Colson sighs with a frustrated mind as he pulls his phone out to call Mod and find The Boys before buying a new shirt.

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Part 1 of 2

To be continued...