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#you can't let it die. that would be wrong.
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Saving Batboy
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It was as though he was being led through the city. Dick seemed to know exactly where he should go next as he drove.
Dick turned off his location as he closed in on Joker's location. If anyone had doubts about what would happen tonight they knew now. The clown dies tonight.
Batman never did it because he knew there would be no coming back once he crossed that line but he was not Batman.
Tim knew the moment Nightwing's symbol disappeared that he had found Joker's location. He knew he could track him still based on where he was before but he held off. The last time Dick crossed the line and killed the Joker, Tim was there to stop him. In the time since Tim had grown to regret it. Especially after Jason's return. He should be avenged after everything that happened.
Tim never put much thought into what happened when he was kidnapped just like Danny. Joker Jr was just a nightmare and everyone pretends it didn't happen. His past self doesn't exist to him and the gaps in his memory are better as they are.
If Dick was really going to finish this then Tim wasn't going to stop him. Bruce's code was his code alone. What of the Robins that suffer for it? What about his kids that he loves to the point of self-destruction if they die?
It was clear to Tim now. Batman isn't strong enough to kill Joker. If he can't handle it, someone else would.
Maybe Dick just cared more. Or maybe he had seen this happen too many times to sit by and let it happen again. The cost be damned.
Tim took a deep breath. He knew it was a bad move but he shut down the bat computer. No one could locate each other for the next 10 minutes. Enough time to give Dick the lead he really needs. All the comms are down and no information can be shared.
Tim looked up and saw Alfred putting down a cup of tea for him. Tim felt like a child caught doing something wrong under Alfred. But Alfred nodded wordlessly before turning to leave. He cast a forlorn glance at Jason's robin uniform before ascending the stairs.
****
"I was hoping Batman would come for the little bat. Oh sorry, I mean the boy." Joker mocked holding Danny by the back of the neck.
The teen's body was limp. His silver locks stained a rusty brown from dried blood. Blood covered his back and legs. If there had been any doubt if the wings were real there is none now.
"…" Nightwingwing said nothing. His fist clenched.
"You know I debated skinning him next. That fur of his would be a lovely shawl. It's so soft. But it looks like I won't have the time now." Joker provoked, running a hand through the boy's white neck fur.
"Get your hands off him." Nightwing demanded, his eyes locked on Danny for any signs of life.
"You know I am so curious what he was doing here. I was about to build a new trap here for fun when I stumbled upon this little guy here. Practically gift-wrapped. Did he run away from you? Just like you did from good ol'papa bat." Joker's smile widened sickeningly "This all feels so familiar, doesn't it little bird? Are you going to finish what you started?"
"I'm never letting you hurt my family again." No witty one-liners. No games. This bad joke ends today.
****
Batman had scoured the area. He memorize the last location Dick was before the system went down. He wasn't these kids' father for nothing he knew what they were doing.
When sound came back he had already made it to the abandoned factory. The comms rang back to life as the sounds of crying came through.
"Nononono…please no. Wake up. Please wake up." It was Dick's voice. "It's okay. I'm here now. So just wake up. We need to get home soon. Your favorite show will be on soon. WAKE UP! YOU CAN'T DIE!"
Batman bolted to their location and found Dick hovering over Danny trying to resuscitate him.
His son looked at him with pleading eyes.
"I can't hear his heart. He's not breathing." He let out a shaky breath. As distressed tears ran down his cheeks.
Bruce knelt next to them. Danny didn't react to the pressure on his chest. The pain should have at least caused an involuntary jerk if he wasn't too far gone.
Bruce signaled Dick to move back as he checked Danny's pulse again. Nothing. And he wasn't breathing. Bruce looked at his son. Deep down Dick probably knew.
"I'm sorry. He's gone." Bruce said simply as he took off his cloak.
Danny looked so peaceful. Like he was sleeping soundly. Bruce hated that his own suspension had been the thing that had prevented him from having a relationship with his own grandson. He felt foolish to not realize that of course Danny and Batboy were the same. It was a brilliant disguise. But he'd never get to say this to the boy.
Bruce wrapped the boy in his cloak.
"Come on. We'll fix this." He told Dick, carrying Danny for him.
The journey back to the manor was silent until.
"I'm sorry." Bruce said.
"Don't. Just Don't. He's my son. Its my fault." Dick rasped his voice scratchy from crying.
Bruce felt a bitter sting. That was exactly what he felt when he lost Jason and what happened with Tim. When Damian lost his life. These pains didn't go away.
When they arrived back in the Batcave Bruce laid Danny's body on the table. The others were notified about what happened and had already gathered.
Barbara looked like she had bawled her eyes out as she hugged Stephanie.
Damian had pressed himself close to Tim as the older brother told him that it was going to be okay.
The new hole in the wall was clearly Jason if his bloodied knuckles were any clues.
Cassandra paced the floor deep in thought. She was moments away from starting a new crusade.
Duke stared off into the distance. His anger boiling under the surface. All he could think about was the number of lives ruined by the Joker and even in death he took another.
Dick stood still as a statue. Thinking about if Danny could be brought back and even if he was his wings were gone. What if he was gone for good? Could he live like that?
Never had he understood Bruce more than in that moment.
Bruce braced himself for what would come next. He had a plan to bring Danny back at any cost.
But suddenly a sound broke through the tension.
A sneeze.
A fucking sneeze.
It came up from under the cloak.
Everyone snapped to look at the body hidden under the cloak. It shifted under the heavy black blanket groggily and yawned. Then Danny jumped up twisting to feel his back.
"What happened!!" He yelped.
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oh-no-its-bird · 12 hours
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Fic where the unjust death of the Uchiha and the subsequent horrific abuse to their bodies via blatant and indiscriminant eye theft results in Konoha being haunted by the spirits of several very angry Uchiha.
"You know... They say that so long as an Uchiha's eyes do not rest in their body, their spirit will never find peace."
When the husk of a woman who used to be Mikoto smiles, there is blood in her teeth.
"What do you think, Elder Danzo?"
Ft.
- Sasuke being repeatedly lured into the woods by the ghosts of his family (and notably, his parents) both bc some want to protect him and some, not powerful enough to retain their sanity in death, wish for him to die so they might take their eyes as their own
- Nara Shikaku, among others in the Hokage's tower, being repeatedly faced with the unsettlingly eyeless ghost of Fugaku as he appears sporadically and attempting to act as if nothing is wrong— always dissapearing when someone questions how he is there (whether he truly seems to keep forgetting that he has died is unclear, but no methods to purge the offices seems able to keep him away for long)
- the spirit of Mikoto taking on a spokesperson role for the dead, as she seems to have been the one to retain the most of herself in death while plagued with the corruptive everything that comes with being a spirit tied to the earth through nefarious means (with Fugaku being a potential second— if he wasn't so busy w convincing himself he hadn't died at all)
- Danzo being haunted by the more mindlessly violent Uchiha ghosts, driven mad in the afterlife at seeing their eyes in his unworthy flesh
- A surprisingly sane Kagami who has Thoughts and Feelings ab Danzo taking his eye— and the mystery of how exactly he had died
- A suddenly the most qualified person to deal with ghosts Kakashi, who's unfortunatley doomed both attract and to be able to see the Uchiha ghosts with his sharingan, and has them breathing down the back of his neck with talk of watching after Sasuke and GETTING REVENGE !!!!!!!!!!!!! which he is legally obligated to do now as the elder ghosts deem his service as their conduit to be his duty, since they gave him a pass on the eye thing. There's a lot of "see I TOLD you it was a good idea to let him keep the eye!! Clearly Amaterasu has left him here for us to use in our darkest of hours"
Aka forcefully adopted by Uchiha ghosts Kakashi who's "adoption" reads a little more like "indentured servitude to the afterlife"
(And he can't help but wonder why he hasn't seen Obito's ghost, after so many years with his eye in his head...
- Itachi being absoloutley hounded by the guilt of what hes done and the spirits of those hes killed, whove left the haunting of Konoha specifically to haunt him (He is not having fun) (The ghost of Shisui is doing his best to ward away the more volatile ones)
And more !!! Potentially, idk. This would be a fun one if I wrote it but I will not. Someone totally should tho , just, not me.
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crownmemes · 3 days
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Assorted Media Sentences, Vol. 15
(Sentences from various pieces of media. Adjust phrasing where needed)
"Haven't you seen enough blood for one night?"
"You must never hesitate."
"I think it's best that you lay low for a while. I'll take you to a secure location."
"You won't fire that gun. You're not the sort."
"I don't want any trouble! I'm a lover, not a fighter!"
"Do you think he's going to die? Do you think we killed him?"
"You never really know anyone in this trade."
"Don't touch anything until Forensics get here!"
"I think we can assume that these entities are more than a little advanced than us."
"If you worked for me, things would be easier."
"If you want to complain about life, you're talking to the wrong guy."
"Do you want the truth or a lie?"
"You know, if you ask a girl out for coffee, you should have something to say."
"I don't believe in bad luck."
"The reason I chose you is because you've got good instincts."
"I've never felt sorry for anything I've done, other than hurt my family. That's the only thing I'm sorry for."
"Planes are going to crash. Earthquakes are going to happen. People you know and love are going to die and, no matter what anyone tells you, there's nothing you can do about it."
"I hear that you're as cold as the snow, and that you don't have any weak nerves or fear."
"Blackmail? Go on, then. With everything you've done, you'll be going down with me."
"You can't arrest someone on coincidence and no evidence!"
"The eye may not lie, but don't think for a moment that it cannot be lied to."
"You do whatever you need to do and I'll understand."
"Yes, I have killed before. Legitimately. More or less."
"I don't know what to do, but I know what you'd do."
"Things have been a little strange around here lately."
"Let's get this straight; I don't like you any more than you like me."
"You always live in a dark place. No joy. No love."
"I don't want to have to explain to people who you are."
"I didn't kill him, but I'm glad he's dead."
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lady-phasma · 1 day
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I want to write a lestat fic so bad I’m practically foaming at the mouth!! I want to do his character justice though. Would you spare some lestat characterization tips mayhaps?
Hi anon! I am so unbelievably flattered that you came to me. I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to reply. Would you like ✏️ anon if you come back?
I hope I answer this well. He is my oldest, dearest blorbo so I'm going to answer with series and book (head)canon, so there are some pretty hefty spoilers below the cut.
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Characterization tips....
When in doubt, go bigger and more French! Do you doubt something you're writing for him is believable? You're probably wrong. This guy found Atlantis in canon. He has flown into the sun, switched bodies with a human, and met the literal, actual Devil.
Would he realistically flirt in your scenario? Yes. But what if...? Yes. He will always flirt. Always.
But on a more serious note, Lestat is very vain because he is incredibly powerful yet insecure. He can cause a lot of damage and is his own worst enemy. The embodiment of chaos.
Anne didn't christen him The Brat Prince for no reason at all. He not only pouts when he doesn't get what he wants, he often pouts when he gets exactly what he wants. He is rarely satisfied and once a mystery is solved or an objective obtained he's ready to move on.
Something that makes him particularly appealing to me has always been his contrasts, how he can be so self-centered and horrible, but love so openly and deeply. If he loves someone he would die for them, as long as he looked good doing it. He can hate and love the same person in the same moment and still give them everything he has. But, he will always try to be a step ahead to have his own safety net because trust isn't his thing.
Lestat has such an odd mix of confidence and insecurity. He never once questioned why the Queen of the vampires would be enamored with him. Of course she would be. But even during all of his drama with Akasha he pined for Louis. Many of his exploits are to get the attention of someone who isn't giving him enough at the moment.
I'm going to do a deep TVL dive real quick because this is the foundation of who he is for me. The Wolfkiller. He was embarrassed at being "poor" aristocracy and the one warm coat he had was the one the villagers made for him from the wolf pelt. He wasn't proud of that event, but that coat meant more to him than they could possibly imagine.
Also, he loves dogs. Seriously, if you need to write him having a pet dog, go for it. Especially mastiffs and boucherons (book and series canon).
I don't particularly like the word "flamboyant" for him, but he is. He is performative. Rarely does he do anything that isn't thoroughly thought through if someone is watching. He is equally impetuous if it looks good.
Lastly, some emotional characterization. He hates to appear vulnerable, but is constantly vulnerable. It's almost as if he doesn't know how to mask that part of him. His desperation to be part of the Italian acting troupe was obvious almost to the point of being a pathetic fanboy. He can't help but be incredibly earnest. Even if it causes him pain or embarrassment.
The Father of Lies, the Brat Prince, Wolfkiller, Lelio... Lestat is all of these things. That's what has always made him such a rich character. He can be serious, but Anne's description of him through Armand might be my favorite: he must make a gutter theatrical out of stubbing his toe.
God forbid no one was around to witness the pain and suffering he endured from such a tragic event. affectionately
I didn't go into anything romance or shipped based on purpose so feel free to let me know it that's what you meant and I missed the mark.
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tellmegoodbye · 1 day
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Hello everyone,
Happy LONE STAR DAY!!
I have a few housekeeping things to talk about before I return to our usual Music Monday format, but I know we're all excited for tonight so I will try to keep this brief.
If you would like to check out our playlist for the countdown event you can find that here.
Since we are getting new episodes now, I thought it would be a cool idea for a new way to participate in the tag. If you have a song that you relate to the new episodes, share them with us!
Please continue to refer to this post for any new Music Monday info, or if you just need a refresher on how the tag works.
Here's a quick overview of what Music Monday is for those of you who are new here. You share your songs that you relate to the show, its characters, storylines, fanfics, etc. All songs are added to their respective playlists and your explanations are added to the docs I have created for each playlist.
Reminder: Make sure to either tag me in your posts OR you can use the 911ls music mondays tag so that I can find and reblog your contributions.
Okay, now that we've got that out of the way, onto my songs for the week!
---
Leave Out All The Rest - Linkin Park
I dreamed I was missing You were so scared But no one would listen Cause no one else cared After my dreaming I woke with this fear What am I leaving When I'm done here?
Don't be afraid I've taken my beating I've shared what I've made I'm strong on the surface Not all the way through I've never been perfect But neither have you So, if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes Forget the wrong that I've done Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed And don't resent me And when you're feeling empty Keep me in your memory Leave out all the rest
This song is a reflection on the way we live our lives and how we will be remembered when we're gone. When I think about these lyrics in the context of Lone Star, they could really apply to any character, but Gabriel is who specifically comes to my mind for this song.
To me, this is Gabriel's message to Carlos. He's spent a lot of time reflecting on his own mistakes and has struggled to express the love he has for his son, but he hopes that Carlos will remember him as someone who never stopped trying and who always strived to be better. He didn't always get it right, but he looks at Carlos and feels so much love and pride, and he wants Carlos to know that and to see that.
Zzyzx Rd. - Stone Sour
Propped up by lies and promises Saving my place as life forgets Maybe it's time I saw the world
I'm only here for a while But patience is not my style And I'm so tired that I gotta go
What am I supposed to hide now? What am I suppose to do? Did you really think I wouldn't see this through Tell me I should stick around for you Tell me I could have it all I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go
I'm over existing in limbo I'm over the myths and placebos I don't really mind if I just fade away
I'm ready to live with my family I'm ready to die in obscurity 'Cause I'm so tired that I gotta go
This is a song written from the perspective of someone struggling with addiction. The narrator addresses his loved ones with a sort of brutal honesty about his feelings towards life, but it's also a song about love and support at the same time. It's about someone who is there for you even when you're in your worst moments and can't see a way out.
This song reminds me of TK and Owen in s1. Owen is ready to do whatever he has to do in order to help TK, and TK lets him in as much as he can, but these lyrics are also an realistic viewpoint on the state of his mental health in the aftermath of his suicide attempt. He knows Owen loves him and is there for him, but he still needs to find that healing outside of that support.
Impossible - Nothing But Thieves
Love, it stings and then it laughs At every beat of my battered heart A sudden jolt, a tender kiss I know I'm gonna die of this And that's because
I could drown myself in someone like you I could dive so deep I never come out I thought it was impossible But you make it possible
I'll take the smooth with the rough Feels so fucked up to be in love Another day, another night Stuck in my own head but you pull me out You pull me out
I really hit y'all with a couple angsty gems today, so I should probably round this post out with a more upbeat song. This song screams Tarlos to me, and reminds me of the early days of their relationship where everything is new and overwhelming, but it also just feels right at the same time. They've come to that realization that what they have is something special, and that they might have found their soulmate. Before they met, such a notion felt impossible to them.
@strandnreyes @lemonlyman-dotcom @bonheur-cafe @heartstringsduet @herefortarlos
Tags!
@eclectic-sassycoweyes @literateowl @carlos-tk @paperstorm @guardian-angle22
@ironheartwriter @emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi @whatsintheboxmh @firstprince-history-huh
@nancys-braids @captain-gillian @alrightbuckaroo @theghostofashton @sweettkstrand
@toomanycupsoftea @corsage @certifiedflower @goldenskykaysani @reeeallygood
+ open tag
please tell me if you would like to be added/removed from my tag list
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rubyroboticalt · 2 years
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gardening is something that can be so healing. put your hands in the dirt. dig up a worm. send it home with a seed. in the summer i will have peas and beans and squash
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puppetmaster13u · 11 months
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You know what I need for a DCxDP crossover
Alternate timeline ghost/realms Batman who may or may not have become a god of family adopting the entirety of Amity Park. Like every single liminal or ghost, they're his kids now. Sure they have human parents in the living realm too, but they're all developing cores and need a realms parent too.
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forthesapphicsonly · 11 months
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Multiverse of madness
Peggy: *waking up* what?
You: oh, hey. Welcome back
Peggy: *looks around, sees the other members of the illuminati unconscious but intact. And alive. She puts her hands on her stomach, where she clearly felt the shield cutting her in half* How? who are you?
you: Wanda's girlfriend. Not that she knows yet *pouts*
Peggy just looks at you confused
you: I just go around undoing the things she does. She kills people, I bring people back. *you lean closer to her whispering in her ear* so she doesn't feel so guilty later. Not that she knows…yet.
Peggy: why not just stop her?
you: Stop? Wanda? Oh no, darling, it's impossible. Nobody stops Wanda, she needs to figure things out for herself. *you laugh* Stop her, funny. Anyway, nice to meet you. I really appreciate you more than Steve. I'm going now, they'll be fine *you wave to the other members as you leaves*
Carter just watches you walk away processing things. You understand. Coming back from the dead has this effect
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icy-book · 1 year
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Consider, if you will, AU (either with canon post-s1 pre-s2 events but D.A.D.D.I.E.S. solves things before season 2 would start, or no Doodler/betrayal but Nicky still has to leave because FBI or other reasons) in which Terry Jr is the full time drama teacher for Teen High. Nicky returns from wherever he's been and is like "Well I want to be an active part of my kid's life and try and make up for lost time. I should go to his parents' evening, find out how he's doing in school, and meet his teachers. Especially this Mr Marlowe guy, Taylor seems to think he's awesome." And walking right into that classroom/hall to find his ex-boyfriend best friend sitting there in a dorky sweater and tie combo
Cue Terry, without missing a beat, greeting them as if nothing is wrong
Internal: when the FUCK did he come back and oh my god this is so awkward fuck I have to be professional how do I tell this guy that his kid is a loveable little shit after everything that's happened oh god oh fuck
Externally: "Hello Taylor and Mr Close-Foster-Freeman. I'm Taylor's drama teacher" *shakes hand* "Would you like to take a seat?"
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bakafurai · 5 months
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yeah that's fine I didn't need my heart anyways
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gammija · 2 years
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i love s4, and im enjoying listening to it with the magaday, but i forgot it would also lead to the worst thing: seeing people interpret media differently than me on the internet OTL
#NOT a big deal#but as an enjoyer of nuance and complicated characters and the tragedy of people doing their best and still failing#I can't help but want to constantly correct posts saying 'Georgie said she prefered Jon dead!' (she didn't#; Jon accused her of that and Basira asked her to leave before they could talk it out)#and 'everyone is blaming Jon for Tim and Daisy's deaths' -> only Melanie is‚ as far as we've heard;#not that everyone is being nice or fair to jon; not at all#but this framing of the situation as jon on one side and everyone else on the other is just so much more boring#than the web of relationships and mistakes and misplaced blame that is implied#and the former is how you get analyses that are objectively wrong like 'no one let Jon speak in 199!!' -> literally by word count and#time spend speaking he talks the most out of anyone in the discussion#but it's not 50/50 jon/others because every character in tma is the protagonist of their own story#like of course it wouldve been nicer if georgie had immediately protested that she didn't want jon to die#but playing that out in my mind; it feels like exactly the kind of argument that jons ex specifically would be tired of having#even if the context is different now#and to me the way it's possible to construct these unspoken reasons and stories for the side characters is the coolest shit#and that's lost if Georgie just said 'I hoped you died Jon‚' because... ? because it's s4 so everyone is just mean to Jon?#even though she's the one visiting him in hospital in the first place?#joos yaps#delete later#nah she's just a mean girl. mean women bullying jon all season#nothing more to it than that
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mantisgodsdomain · 2 months
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On the rare occasions when we talk about the spectre of veganism you can probably physically tell the amount of psychic damage that we take from seeing people throw out any part of a carcass.
#we speak#hey man you can use that for stuff. there is a use for that. you can use that for things that aren't just letting it rot. sir.#this is maybe part of why we have so many fur scraps but like. you can use that stuff. please use that stuff. we are begging you.#did you know that sinew is useful and can be used for cordage? it's true! you should use it!#do you think that a given part is Useless? you're probably wrong! give it to us. please. we are begging you. please.#we are a very specific type of person and that very specific type of person is the type of guy where improper corpse handling harms us#personally and physically. every time. at least put it in the freezer or something if youre killing it you better be ready to process it#we have very strong and extraordinarily specific opinions on things that have been known to make us disagree with people#the animal will die at some point regardless of whether or not you were the one to kill it#and because you have a big brain and the luxury of most likely not needing to do this to survive#you can grant that animal a relatively swift and painless death and then bring its body to as much use as possible#USE IT. FOR THINGS. PLEASE. WE ARE DYING.#we understand viscerally why failing to field dress an animal in assassins creed kicks you out of the simulation as Out Of Character#we are the same way and every time a piece of media has the protagonists kill a bear or whatever and just Leave The Body There#we are taking large amounts of psychic damage from every single frame#you cannot imagine how much hatred we hold for the existence of prion diseases and the fact that you can't eat meat from CWD deer#killing an animal does not have to be animal cruelty if you're not an idiot#we think that wasting parts of the body SHOULD count as animal cruelty though#not legally for obvious “that would open a legal can of worms that should stay closed” reasons but like. in terms of avoiding it#animals kill and eat each other all the time. its natural. you are an animal and you can kill and eat other animals and they will be tasty#however for the love of whatever god you worship PLEASE put the effort in to actually put the whole carcass to use#it will not make the animal suffer less to refuse to partake in its remains. it only means that those things will go to waste.#a body is not a sacred thing. it should not be treated as specialer than anything else but we think it's disrespectful to not make use of i#for related reasons we have a deep and abiding hatred for the laws that mean we can't choose what to do with our own body after our death
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some guy commented on my narrator + toriel fic saying "well the narrator's done some questionable stuff once or twice but he's not the one who let SIX children DIE just to SPITE her ex-husband" lmaoooo bro did you even play undertale? you can just say you have no reading comprehension it's okay
#like. of all the toriel slander i've seen this is by far the most ridiculous bc like#even on the most basic of levels it is so clearly wrong. toriel did not let the children go WITH THE INTENTION OF THEM DYING lmao#like her entire thing is not wanting kids to die and being overprotective because of it. that is a basic tenet of her character#and most toriel slander i've seen at least. knows this basic fact#they say shit like 'she's controlling and domineering' or 'she should've gone with them'#but this guy? no. they seem to believe that she. wanted them to die. to 'spite asgore'? how exactly would this spite him?#if i recall correctly (sarcasm. of course i recall correctly)#asgore was the one who WANTED the fallen humans to die.#or he didn't really want them to die deep down inside#but still he saw to it that they did. they would not be dead if it were not for him#and the anti-human laws he put in place#and his attempt to raise the kingdom's spirits by declaring war on humans.#i try to be as neutral as possible on any given character but you can't deny that that's an objective fact.#if toriel let them die she would be helping asgore's purposes.#her entire goal by living in the ruins is to take in fallen humans and protect them#so asgore DOESN'T kill them. so she can thwart his plans THAT way.#also i love the wording of 'the narrator's done some questionable stuff'#he exploded stanley. he erased all of stanley's friends and coworkers. he has made stanley's existence a living hell for god knows how long#i mean yeah yeah it's not really him who's in control they're both slaves to the narrative and all that#but he holds a lot of power over stanley and he uses it. and abuses it.#to act like wilful sadistic murder is on the same level as a distraught bereaved mother#trying to save other children from the fate her own suffered and becoming overprotective in the process#is just ridiculous. lol#anyways i deleted the comment :] no toriel slander under toriel-sympathetic fics pleeeaaase
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steakout-05 · 6 months
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eeuuaghh i would like everyone to know that i apologise if i have not responded to your reblogs/mentions/posts on tumblr, i have really terrible social anxiety and for some reason people talking to me makes my nervous system think i'm being hunted for sport by a resident evil boss. sorry if i havent responded i'm not being rude i'm just having a panic attack :P
additionally: social anxiety is actually the reason why a lot of my old posts from late 2022 had weird spacing and spelling mistakes. i was too anxious to type properly
#sorry this seems like a random thing to post but it has been bugging me for a little bit now and i want to post it#and by a little bit i mean the entire time i've been on this website#as for the reason i have social anxiety: i went to a really terrible high school full of dangerous people-#-who were literally like. the worst most bigoted people ever. not everyone there was bad of course but 90% of them were-#-and that stunted by social development by 5-6 years and now every time someone talks to me i feel like i'm about to get murdered#also primary school was. bad. the other kids could sniff out the autism in me and didn't like me for it#this post isn't directed towards anyone specifically but also it kinda is because there's a DM from someone-#-that i haven't responded to in literally 8 months and every time i think about it i get anxious#i'm sorry!!! i'm not trying to ignore you on purpose and i want to say something but my brain literally will not let me out of fear :(#i'm not used to getting talked to directly so every time i do my entire nervous system starts screaming and running in circles#it's kinda ridiculous because it's like. come on. why are you having a panic attack over a message on tumblr it's LITERALLY just words on-#-a screen what are you freaking out about. but also it's like hhhhh unfamiliar social situation scary. help.#unrelated to that but i am very worried about what people will think of me and like i know i really shouldn't worry about that-#-because i can't control what other people think of me and it really shouldn't be any of my or their business. but also-#-i have legitimate trauma that backs my fears up and every time someone is even slightly critical towards me my brain just goes-#-''see? it happened again i TOLD you it would happen again. idiot. you shouldn't have said anything''#and then i hide and cry and lay in bed thinking about how i'm going to die until i suddenly snap out of it and think-#-''wait hang on why should i care. i love being a weirdo on the internet why should i let my anxieties stop me''#and then it happens AGAIN and it's just a viscous cycle at that point#be silly on the internet -> detect slight criticism -> think everyone hates you again -> go back on your bullshit after 3 days of crying#and it makes sense because that exact same pattern happened to me countless times as a child.#be silly in school -> get made fun of for it -> get hated for it -> rinse and repeat until you think everyone is dangerous and they hate yo#if i could put it in a metaphor it would be like me being a little rabbit who thinks everyone is a scary wolf because of their big shadows-#-even though they're all also rabbits and i'm just paying attention to the scariest parts of them because i only know what wolves look like#trauma does fucked up things to your psyche lemmie tell you#social anxiety#anxiety disorder#i'm literally the ''too scared to order food'' stereotype except it's not a stereotype because it's real and every time i look at the 7/11-#-at my campus i go ''hm but what if they hate me for the food i buy there'' even though they're LITERALLY SELLING IT what is WRONG with me#anyway um. social anxiety sucks and i don't mean to not reply ro everyone who talks to me i am sorr y
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monstersqueen · 1 year
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anyway my recent conclusions have been
mori leaked ango's mafia spy's status to mimic and sent odasaku after him so he could break up the buraiha trio
reading wan "wow odasaku did not listen to tiny ango and tiny dazai before going to fight gide !!"
which combined with older conclusions of
wow dazai sure went straight from "here's why ango's a traitor" to one of his most upsetting "i want to die" moments
....that's probably part of why he blame ango for odasaku's death, because in his head ango's betrayal made odasaku not want to live anymore, because that's what it did to him
pretty much. paints the picture that dazai is not entirely wrong there. i'm pretty sure mori in his calculations went "so in order to get the permit we need to defeat mimic. the best/only way we have to do that is to send oda at them. unfortunately oda doesn't kill. time to destroy his support system i guess" and proceeded to out ango's cover :p
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duncantashi · 1 year
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i hate home
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