#you cane hate me and my posts all y'all want

[theerurishipper]

Welcome to me watching the Paris special, this time with commentary! I watched the special and wrote down everything here as I watched it and forgot to post it cause I'm a dumbass. Also, this is long asf, in fact, it's so long that I had to make a Part 2.

Okay here goes!

Ah, the Gabriel version of the theme. This really took me by surprise. It's fire tho.

Straight into the action, I like it.

Max and Markov aren't different people in this?

That's some entrance from Shady and Claw, really ups the stakes. Makes you wonder why Nino tried to fight them with a nerf gun.

Ubiquity is so pretty.

I might be the only one who liked the Gabe scene we got.

Feeling some nostalgia for the candy cane cosplay ngl.

And we get a good scene with Adrien and Plagg. I liked the advice Plagg gave about how not all destruction is bad. Neat.

Some Alya and Marinette. Marinette is going through some tough times and is in need of support, and Tikki takes this opportunity to escape from her and steal macaroons. No hate tho, you do you Tikki.

Though she does react to the people of Paris cheering for Ladybug. That was sweet.

Alya turns into Ubiquity, and then we get... Betterfly.

Betterfly? Seriously? Coulda just gone with Hesperia.

"I'm not sure there's anything to hope for from Ladybug." My poor baby!

Love the look of absolute confusion on Alya's face.

Hesperia's confusion about his evil counterpart is really funny ngl.

SHADYBUG

"There, you can have your boyfriend back~" love the delivery on that line lmao.

But also, CLAW NOIR

Not her just stealing his belt immediately.

Marinette hates Adrien Agreste. This truly is the reverse world.

But also, I love Claw Noir pretending to be his own fan to impress Shadybug.

Claw Noir sure does love using that Cataclysm.

For someone who just woke up to see her friend gone and a hole in the wall, Alya collected herself pretty damn quick. I would be freaking the fuck out in her position. Just another reason she's the best.

RIP Alya's phone. Gabe really did a number on you.

Shadybug makes a butterfly tracker, proving that she ain't no Gabe.

Hesperia is befuddled by our world, Part 2.

It's always gotta be the Eiffel Tower, doesn't it.

Claw Noir's pulling a Chat Blanc?? Hello??

Hesperia (I'm not gonna call him Betterfly) is apparently a gentleman. It's almost disturbing after 5 seasons of Gabe being the worst piece of shit to grace our screens.

I guess no matter the universe and moral alignment, it's Gabriel's fate to get beaten up by teenagers.

Not Tikki loredumping about parallel universes right now lmao

Times like this remind me that Tikki is, for all intents and purposes, a god.

"You'd die before I could ever explain all this to you," is actually a pretty valid (and disturbingly hilarious) justification for not having bothered to bring any of this up before.

The Supreme is someone I'd like to learn more about. I've narrowed the suspects down to either Fu or Su-Han. Watch it be Lila instead if we ever get that info.

I feel like the info about the timers is something we should have gotten way, way earlier. Like, a few seasons ago.

Ladybug's triumphant entrance!

"Whatever, pest." Queen.

I love Claw Noir's staff.

Shadybug took no prisoners at all.

CHAT NOIR

Destruction vibes, and right after that incident too.

Claw Noir is unhinged.

Claw Noir just fucking cataclysmed himself??? Guess Adrien is always gonna be self-destructive in every universe huh?

Welp, looks like Chat Noir is officially re-traumatized.

I want y'all to remember that this boy went through the whole special with a cataclysm wound on his person and did not falter once. Mad respect.

Chat Noir got tossed. Chat Blanc call back number 2.

Obsessed with the way Bryce Papenbrook pronounces "cockroach."

Finally, a villain who actually gets rid of the Lucky Charm. Hawkie, take notes.

"Who the cat are you?"

So Shadybug can create whatever Lucky Charm she wants, huh?

Someone's been listening to the fandom.

Not the time freezing lmfao

I don't like that Gabe is turning Adrien into an angel, even if this is a good version. Anyway, Chat Blanc call back 3.

"Kitty catty" "Later loser!" I love her.

Of course, not all bugs can fly.

He moved out of the way.

I fucking love Claw Noir so much you guys, he's so funny.

Well, he tried. Shadybug's just better than him ig.

Hesperia stores his butterfly in his cane. So it's just our Gabe that tries to keep multiple butterflies, I guess.

I think they should kiss.

So they're doing this in hopes that The Supreme spares them? Interesting, and pretty sad.

They're so scared of the Akuma lmfao

If I was Alya, I'd have given myself away by now. Actually, I wouldn't have had the presence of mind to even hide.

Guess the counterparts are from some dystopian world ruled by The Supreme. It tracks with the look we got at it in the opening.

"In order to get something I wanted." We saw the Peacock Miraculous in the opening too, and also Emilie died. So I guess Adrien is a Sentimonster in the other reality too. Damn it.

I guess this Gabe realized his mistake instead of descending into madness like ours.

She just broke Marinette's box like it was nothing. So much for that.

Claw Noir lounges around playing with dolls and mocks Shadybug for being lazy while she does all the work and he lazes around. Have I mentioned yet that I love him?

Also I am glad they stayed true to Adrien's character and had him play with dolls.

The whole part about Chat Noir... be still my Ladynoir heart.

Love how they incorporated the webisodes into this. About time those had relevance.

Shadybug really "hates" Claw Noir.

Marinette's having doubts, my poor baby girl.

Shadybug and Claw Noir have power, but not their strength. That's a really good line.

She's reading the diary and crying... baby.

This is such a touching scene. I don't say that lightly, but it really is.

SHE FOUND THE WISH

Marinette really wrote down every single world ending secret in this one poorly protected diary huh.

She literally took him down in 2 seconds. Bruh.

IDENTITY REVEAL! THIS IS NOT A DRILL, I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Shadybug managed to achieve in 2 seconds what Marinette and Adrien have not achieved after 5 seasons of Love Square drama which I admittedly enjoy but that's not the point.

Those strange... marks? Cracks? Scars?

Blots off... I'm dying y'all.

Reverse Love Square? Hello??? HELLO???

She literally just beat his ass, tied him up and took his Miraculous and this is his reaction once he realizes who she is.

He's down so bad.

They should have played Careless Whisper here.

CUTIE PIE, MY SON

The Supreme is such a fucking asshole, he gagged the Kwamis.

Emonette wants our Marinette's life? She doesn't know the half of what she's getting into.

The Supreme got to the wish somehow? What the fuck?

"Reality is The Supreme." I don't know who this guy is, but he is DELULU.

This shot... masterfully done. My poor baby girl.

These kids are not okay. My poor sweet babies.

Daggers out. Seriously, stop it, you two.

He's trying to comfort her. They're just... I'm in pain. I'm so sad for them y'all.

Gabe in his prototype Monarch outfit.

Good thing (for him at least) he had the Ox, or else this would be his second cataclysm of the day.

Ladybug and Chat Noir are back in action, baby.

I'm sorry, I would not be able to say Betterfly unironically without bursting into laughter.

AFTER 5 SEASONS, WE FINALLY GET TO SEE CHAT NOIR'S NIGHT VISION AGAIN

Not that they needed it lmao

Alya coming in clutch with the recording. Queen.

LADYNOIR LADYNOIR LADYNOIR

It's so so so nice to see Ladynoir on screen again after Season 5 killed it.

Hit the word limit, so continued here.

[czolgosz]

jean moodboard (specifically of things i have not already said are reminiscent of the individual)

[ID: image 1: a tumblr post by nylonlion which reads: It's dishonest work and it's a lot. And nobody needs to do it

image 2: a tweet by Barry (@TheGrandBlooms) which reads: My chess strategy is to make a bunch of erratic moves at the beginning to throw my opponent off, & then lose the game

image 3: a tumblr post by poorlittleminkmink which reads: They hate him for his autistic swagger and also the time he killed two people and injured more.

image 4: a shrugging smiling emoji with all-caps text over it which reads: You're appealing to emotions that I simply do not have

image 5: text which reads: something is seriously wrong with me but its kinda fun ngl

image 6: a tweet by Chris Stephens (@ChrisStephensMD) that consists of an image of a top hat and cane on the floor of an empty room and the caption: Please don't just assume that your friend who walks around town dressed fancy is living large. For many of us it's all for show.

image 7: a screenshot of the Google result for Regulation of emotion with text over it which reads: once i learn this shit it's over for the rest of y'all

image 8: text which reads: guys please keep me in ur thoughts. nothing happened i just want u to think about me

image 9: text which reads: I wanna be mysterious so badly but i cannot stfu 😭😭

image 10: a tumblr post by dateamonster which reads: i just want to cause fear and dread to the people surrounding me every day whats so wrong with that

image 11: a tumblr post by tonysopranobignaturals which reads: your honor, they simply hate to see a girlboss winning

image 12: all-caps text which reads: I hate getting accused of some shit I actually did 😡 who the fuck told you

image 13: a tumblr ask from jacckelly which reads: frollo i'm in love with you; frollosuggestions responds: i'm french leave me alone /end ID]

[cripplecore]

hi there! call me parker, my pronouns are he/they, it/its and basically any neos, so feel free to try out any you want if you'd like :) (sideways smile)

this is a sideblog for disability talk and activism surrounding it— my main blog is @fear-ze-queer if you want to check that out!

i have:

- pots (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome)

- cfs/me (chronic fatigue syndrome)

- hypermobility

- unnamed joint pain, likely related to my other disabilities

- probably more that i'm missing

i am a cane user! its name is ingram :) (sideways smile). i hope to get a rollator in the near future as well.

i have several neurodivergencies and mental illnesses as well; i use tone indicators and i ask that you do the same when talking to me, as i have trouble interpreting tone

i am plural & host of an endogenic system— i don't know how much i'll talk about that here, but i've ran across a lot of anti-endo blogs, so i want to make that known

i'm queer and reclaim most of the slurs that i can use (f slur, t slur, c slur, etc) so if that bothers you, this blog is for you

i tag triggers with "tw ___", feel free to ask me to tag things you need/i may have missed! ask box is always open

i am new to image descriptions, so please be patient with me! i'm doing my best to be as accessible as i can. if anybody has tips on how to do that better, PLEASE let me know!!!

important posts:

disability tools/resources masterpost

PSA on ableism+writing disabled characters

no-prep food tray hack

disney's 'gay days'

list of sign language resources

dni below the cut

dni if: racist, misogynistic, queerphobic (including if you're against aros and aces, enbies, xenogenders, microlabels, contradictory labels, mspec gays/lesbians/etc), against reclaiming slurs, plural/sysphobic including sysmeds/anti-endogenic, ableist towards ANY sort of disability, a terf/swerf/fart or w/e, support jkr/still like HP, a p*do/MAP, against any sort of good faith identities, a dsmp blog (nothing against y'all, but i see it all the time and it's getting annoying), 18+/NSFW blog or anything of the sort (i'm a minor and asexual), conservative/republican, a hateful christian/ christian adjacent, a n*zi/fascist; i may be missing some stuff & will add later

[caixxa]

A1,A 2, B6, B9, BASICALLY ALL OF THE C QUESTIONS! PLS I WANT TO KNOW! (if you feel like responding lmao) thank you, love you and hope you are having a really nice day! <3

Sorry that it took so long to answer! I had a hellish day and we live on almost opposite time zones, so.

A1: When did you start reading fanfiction?

Summer 2016, after Euro 2016. As an adult, well past 30, I rediscovered the fun of being A Fan.

A2: How did you find your first fic?

I googled, learned new search phrases to google until I found the stuff I really liked. I think the first searches were like "Gareth Bale fan fiction" and the really effective one that I think finally led me to Ao3 (I have no idea what the first sites were) was more in the way of "Cristiano ronaldo gareth bale m/m slash" lol. I read only as a guest user for months, I didn't make my own account until I wanted to write and post my own work.

B6. What is your favourite story trope? Why?

Friends to lovers with sexual exploration on the way. Seductive younger man developing in a twisted power balance/imbalance relationship with an older man. Stuff with sexual tension and a vibe of something forbidden.

B9. Who is your OTP?

I'm such a multi-shipper! I always say it's Aho/TT because they are soulmates and the Finnish connection and two cherubs who share a brain on the ice and fly together and are stupid codependent bros. But I've come to think that the true OTP is Sepe/mentors and authority figures. I came to that conclusion when I heard on the Canes Corner podcast that in his first interviews, he always mentioned Ron Francis, and I couldn't but nod along. Of course he did. A franchise legend who drafted him, of course. He still mentioned him on the Siim Liivik podcast like last summer, you know. He loves Rod, he loves Pekka, he loves Justin Williams, he was so into Burns being traded to the Canes. He's a fireball on the ice but off the ice, his daddy kink can be seen from SPACE.

THe C section:

What trope are you tired of reading? Why? Self-harm or suicide as a romantic plot point. It should be self-explanatory, I detest all variations of the trope where romantic counterpart saves the protagonist from shit they should figure out with themselves first, especially if there is a "love as a miracle cure" element to it. I feel similarly about th "you deserve better, let me save you from your abusive relationship by making you mine". No. If this happens from a base of friendship and they develop love later, that works, but falling in love as a cure because The One Sees Your Beauty When Others Don't is yucky. Elaborate proposals in front of an audience gathered specifically to celebrate the occasion as peak romance is so weird too, maybe I just don't get American wedding culture. (These tropes are more present in m/f imagines than m/m rpf, tho)

What word or expression always makes you cringe when you read it? "Too" when it's supposed to be "to" is the only one of those that I often see in fic writing, but in general, "Their" when you mean "They're" or "it's" for "its" when native speakers do it... IT'S YOUR OWN LANGUAGE! HOW CAN YOU NOT GET THE EASY ONES RIGHT?

Is there anything that makes you nope out of a story? What is it? Double spacing between each paragraph. I know that it's mostly because the Ao3 rich text editor doesn't copy/paste google docs right. I will have to be REALLY drawn into the story and want to read it really bad to struggle through that.

What thing that fandom loves do you actually kind of hate? Why? Hockey fights. They're so unnecessary, they're just an example of the American fixation on violence and vigilante justice. It's okay to me that hockey is a rough game, cross checking and body checking is absolutely fine by me, but dropping the gloves.. it's such a stupid, primitive thing to do. Hockey does fine without it. I know this is unpopular bc y'all love violence. I see all the wrestling posts y'know, and all the "hot" tags in hockey fight posts. *points at all directions, staring judgementally*

What character that fandom loves are you just kinda “meh” about? Why? Hockey players: Anthony Beauvillier. This is just about his looks, I don't see what most people see, he looks so plain to me.

Is there anything in canon that made you want to quit the show? What was it? Why did you hate it? Are we still talking hockey/sports because all i read is sports rpf? Well, I used to like F1 but Ihave very little interest in it now. I just don't think that a motorsport that is done on vehicles for no other use than driving on these extensive tracks made of concrete and asphalt just for it is just gross. In rally, there is at least something organic (lol) and relatable. Also, the last Cristiano Ronaldo fic I read was after his transfer to Juventus, after that I think he's made a fool of himself.

Who is your NOTP? Sepe/Seth Jarvis, Sepe/Jordan Martinook. I think it's bc I have zero attraction to the other guy haha, plus Jarvy only gives me goofy little brother vibes, not ship vibes. Also, Cressi was the big ship when I entered football rpf and I could see the two superstars, rivals, el clasico etc etc intellectually but I just sensed no chemistry between cr7 and messi whatsoever so it's always been kinda NOTP for me.

What is one plot twist you wish people would stop using?  Do all the plot twists your heart desires, man, writing is supposed to be fun! But what I said in C1 counts here too.

What show did you really try to watch, but you just couldn’t? This happens with all the shows. I watch a few episodes but can't find the time to finish them. I also skipped a lot (most) of NHL games last season because I need to sleep.

What book could you just never get into, no matter how hard you tried? I don't try hard with my reading, if I don't like the book I quit. The hardest I've tried was probably War and Peace which I read so slowly that I eventually forgot what had happened before and kinda drifted off it after maybe 20%.

Thank you for the ask and have a super duper fine summer!!

(the ask game post is this)

[stereax]

playoffs disclaimer

hey there o7 I don't think many people stop by here, but even so, this is what you should expect from the playoffs from my side of things.

first and foremost, I am a strong Devils fan and an even stronger Rangers anti. if you don't want to see that, you should probably block the tags #devils lb and #devs lb . I tag all Devils liveblog posts under both of these. speaking of this, I'm finishing up a Devils primer for the playoffs, which - here it is!

I generally don't liveblog all that much, usually only just goals and egregiously bad calls and shit. and, given I'm living in Europe, I might not be liveblogging a lot. but still.

with that out of the way - my stances on all 16 teams, briefly:

Avalanche: I sort of like them but not that much.

Bruins: should I like you because of Zacha and Hall or should I hate you because you're too good? it will be an honor to lose to you in the ECF.

Devils: THESE ARE MY BOYS. MY BOOOOYS.

Golden Knights: my main Western team even if I don't really know them lol-

Hurricanes: I sort of like them until we play against them.

Islanders: I want good things for these guys but they're gonna lose to the Canes I just know it.

Jets: they exist?

Kings: they exist, round 2?

Kraken: cryptid bros!

Lightning: this is your last year of relevance so savor it.

Maple Leafs: manifesting them winning the f*rst r*und.

Oilers: if they win this year we'll never have to hear about them again, I think, so let's do that pls.

Panthers: if you beat the Bruins I will love you forever.

Rangers: this is all I'll say.

Stars: who doesn't want good things for Wedgewall?

Wild: who doesn't want good things for Fleury?

I'll try to tag all SCP liveblogs with #scp lb as well, if that helps.

my inbox is open, go wild y'all! (or go Wild lol) friendly chirping is fine by me but don't be an asshole. I can usually tell the difference. please talk to me /hj

that's all! enjoy the playoffs :D

(this post inspired by @hard4softthings :D )

[bi-leigh-bi]

tfw you post shit to the anti j@lec tag like Tumblr etiquette would have you and j@lec shippers still act extra and tell you to get out of the tag. 😂😂😂😂

[raleigh-ocean]

if i go, i'm goin' (your love will take me there) | nora montgomery x dara ann lynch x billie dean howard

summary: not even in a hundred years, a love like Dara’s was ever seen, but those lucky enough to be the receiving end of it knew how much pureness and sincerity it held. Some of those wished, however, to have been the only end to receive that love but still they found their true home right in between her arms. And maybe in another time, another life, Dara’s love would have been all Nora’s. However, as Nora felt fuller yet lighter in the living room of her home for the past one hundred years…she found herself wishing for Billie to keep taking care of their greatest love.

words: 14,759

n/a: this is going to hurt so fucking bad, I’m already crying. The story is divided in two almost individual parts connected in the middle. It will tell the extents of Dara and Billie’s love in the beginning…and then switch to the love that was meant to be.This doesn’t mean I won’t keep writing for Nora and Dara or including Nora in other stories, but those would probably be pre-2020/2021 most of the time! I hope y'all enjoy this one, because I did a lot of research and…well, NoraDara owns my heart fully for the rest of my life.

n/a 2.0: Also, analyzing how Billie and Dara’s relationships are, we (Vivi and I) found that there were similarities between BillieAudrey and NoraDara as separate units, and since I did explore the former first a few times already, it’s time for the latter to come alive (pun intended).

n/a 3.0: I’ll be taking a break from writing for a while, so this is the last long thing I’ll be posting. I hope y’all enjoy it.

[23:35] How-t Stuff: I miss you :(

[23:38] How-t Stuff: Annie, I see you in your phone from the living :(( 

Dara only chuckled silently at that, amused because she could actually see Billie in the couch typing in her phone. It was one of the perks of living in a tiny apartment, even if they were separated, they could see each other from the other room just by open a door. Damien was already asleep, hugging her from behind, so she couldn’t do much sound in case she woke up.

It was easy to type a ‘hang in there honey’ and close her eyes, feeling how her headache was getting better after being able to down some food and having some painkillers along with muscle relaxant for her leg. The only thing she didn’t like, however, was feeling herself uneasy because medicines usually messed up with her body and her perception.

[23:46] How-t Stuff: This couch is so uncomfortable...why do we still have it??? 

[23:48] How-t Stuff: Also I found your fancy lighter in between the cushions :)

[23:50] How-t Stuff: also found your purple thong oops

She really wanted to go to sleep, but having Billie trying to be...cute? was really something else. But Dara was already falling asleep, and with only one eye open she texted her back a ‘you’ve been saying the same fr 6y, r u planning on sleepin there much’ and ‘sTOP hIDINg my underwear in places you forGet’ before switching her phone to night mode and hiding it under Billie’s pillow. Of course she was sleeping in Billie’s side and maybe she was wearing one of her pyjamas, she also missed her, but she kinda deserved it.

The memory came back to her, making Dara feel dizzy and she closed harder her eyes, trying to get it out. She wasn’t in the mood of thinking about Audrey or Danielle for that matter, even when both had kinda been the reason Billie was sleeping in the couch and she had her teen niece pressed against her back, sleeping soundly like a baby koala. Don’t get her wrong, she didn’t hate any of them, in fact Dara was pretty sure she didn’t hate anyone ever in her life...not even the poor devil that assaulted her and scarred her as a teen...

[01:50] How-t Stuff: Uhm...love, beige or sky blue?

[02:10] How-t Stuff: nvm, black is prettier

[02:30] How-t Stuff has sent an image.

[02:32] How-t Stuff: we have new couch wohoo!

[03:32] How-t Stuff: i love you my dalfoddil

When Dara opened her eyes, she felt her head all clogged but at least her body didn’t hurt that bad or at all. Damien was now cuddling herself in her side of the bed, heavily asleep, so with care she tried to stand up to go get a glass of water. Her phone forgotten under the pillow, her hands went to retrieve her cane from where it was resting immediately. Oh, she wasn’t so confident today about walking, so even when she had support with one hand she still made her way slowly. 

Rubbing off the sleep from her eyes, Dara looked first to where her wife had slept just to find an empty spot. But soon the toaster going off made her notice Billie, facing the kitchen counter, trying to do something in the stove. She truly looked disheveled, more than usual upon waking up, and a soft pang of guilt rang through Dara's body. 

"Are you making tea?" when Billie turned around, Dara was leaning on her cane and looking shyly at her, which made her change her whole wrecked expression to one much softer.

"And toasts, I remembered your mother gave us blackberry jam not long ago and I thought, hell, why not?" she laughed a bit nervously before leaning in the counter to wait for the water to start to boil in the little old pot that's been around since day one. "Is the kid up?"

Dara shook her head slightly and then went to Billie in automatic, pressing her lips together in a chaste kiss meant to be longer than that, but the older medium complied with a soft grin. She already knew this little start of the day meant the world to her wife so Billie wasn't that worried about the 'couch arrest'. However they couldn't say much more because a sleepy Damien made her way to where her aunts were, getting breakfast done, and they were moved to another rhythm of life.

It was easy for Dara to shift in between being her private persona and the one she usually presented to her family, and Billie noticed that right away. When they were at home, the two of them alone, her shoulders relaxed more and the everlasting smile dropped for a slight smirk that accompanied her tired eyes. It was a homie view, yet it made Billie’s heart roar with an overprotectiveness that was familiar at this point of her life. Mostly because yesterday was the first time in a while that she realized how tired her wife was, mostly because if there was something she hated with her dear life was to watch Dara like that and notice too late to fix it.

Breakfast moved in another light for sure, Billie still getting used to the presence of Dara’s nieces and nephews. Damien, as much as she had her doubts about her and resented her for the time being, was very polite and it showed how Danielle’s antics had rubbed off in her daughter. Billie still didn’t know the whole story with Dara’s twin cousins, but maybe it was time to start digging in what was unknown waters for so long.

But then, Dara did something that surprised Billie a lot to be honest.

“Not even when Eva pulled almost the same crap to Deirdre’s new husband I let it slip, so missy,” Dara started to say, holding the cup of tea to her lips to take a sip without caring it was still pretty much hot. “Why did you do that? Were you out of your damn mind?”

“I only...I don’t know auntie,” Damien’s voice was really tiny again and Billie put down her toast, her appetite dropping. “At first it was...fun, I guess? But then I just got too into it and after dad...well, I guess I didn’t want her to suffer...but I was stupid and hurt mamon and Audrey because of it, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, you truly were and are,” Dara pulled back her hair with a hand, letting out a tired sigh. Billie still was pretty much blind to who the father of this kid was or why he wasn’t around. “Audrey is totally not like your father, I can assure you that being a hundred percent sure, and I get that you want to protect your mother but you should give her some credit dear,” her voice was calm but the way she was tapping with her free hand the counter, after too many years, it told she was in need of a cigarette. “She knows how to protect herself very well, she knows how to protect you very well. Do you think she would have let Audrey come into your lives if she wasn’t sure of it, mhm?”

And at that, not even Billie had the guts to say something, seeing how Dara was still very serious even when her voice was in her always calm tone. She had that ability, to remain calm despite of everything, and after being together for a decade already she could easily pick up that she inherited that capacity from her mother. Dara’s mom was able to handle all of them with a mere look or a few words, even Billie, and that was quite scary. Damien looked down to her cup of tea and she shook her head briefly, making Dara to click her tongue.

“Exactly,” she finished her tea and stood up, taking a moment too long to actually move that made Billie worry, to go get something from one of the cupboards. “Now I hope you learn something from this. Don’t make it harder for your mother, you hear me? If something’s wrong, tell her, and if you don’t want to then call me...or did you replaced me as your favourite aunt? I knew Danna was right around the corner to take my crown.”

It was then when Billie worried more, not because Damien quickly went to deny that and made Dara fake she was affected so she would hug her, but because she caught this strange shadow hovering over her wife. Usually it wasn’t like that, her white light giving some kind of protection even from herself, but as Billie tried to finish her breakfast in silence she took her time to try and discern what Dara was feeling at the moment. 

As they kept moving through the morning, taking in count it was early and Danielle and Audrey didn’t call yet, Billie thought it was always hard to actually feel what her wife was feeling. She was good at reading people, something she was proud of indeed, but Dara presented her as a challenge. 

However, after two hours Billie just gave up for the time being. She would have to wait until they were alone again in the quietness of their home to directly ask, maybe over some take out from that place her wife loved so much. But when Danielle and Audrey finally showed up in their door, both way more relaxed and apparently happier, something came back to Billie’s mind. As they were exchanging some words with the other couple, Billie remembered how Dara had defended Audrey in such effortless way that surprised her and, by the time their home was only them again (plans for lunch already arranged four hours later), she felt it was the right time to ask.

Overnight, alone cuddling one of Dara’s cushions in their old couch, she kept replying the events of the day in a very vivid way. Billie knew she had no right to yell at Dara, even when she was really angry with the situation, but the way she was handling things felt off putting to her for some reason. And that’s why she was surprised when Dara kinda defended Audrey, because at the time in her furious mind she truly thought her wife hated her best friend. Well, hate was a strong word, but more like...like she was putting up with Audrey at this point just because of her.

“Baby?” Billie felt a strange strangled sensation when she called out for Dara, who was making her way back to their bedroom to pick up her phone. “Can I ask you something?” Dara stopped and looked back at her, curiosity peeking out from her eyes, tilting her head in that innocent way she always had to let her know she had her full attention. “Do you...do you like Audrey?”

It was then that the silence hit Billie like a wall made of ice.

She saw how Dara squinted her eyes a bit, trying to discern what her wife was talking about, her mouth a bit agape while the silence settled in between them. But what made Billie take a step back, was how Dara moved her jaw to the left a bit before closing her mouth and biting her lower lip while considering her next words. Billie didn’t want to push, but now she was feeling how the coldness of the room was getting more intense as her wife’s feelings finally reached her. Having her cane tightly gripped in her dominant hand, Dara sighed really deep this time as the shadow floating over her grew.

“Are you serious, Billie?” Billie doubted for a second if she ever heard Dara’s voice sounding like that. “Really, I want to know if you’re pulling my leg or not.”

“Yes, I’m being serious,” oh Billie regretted that as soon as it left her mouth, but a tiny bit of the annoyance of yesterday was starting to show up for some reason. “Sometimes it feels you put up with her just because of me, Ann-”

“Don’t you dare ‘Annie’ at me right now,” Billie saw the shadow closing around Dara and then her eyes locked with hers, shining with the anger she was feeling and making her not notice the panic laced in her voice. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

When those words left her mouth, Dara felt her whole world was crumbling faster than she thought it would. As if the massive earthquake she was holding up finally managed to open the crack that it took Dara five years to close, making all the pent up things start to flood the last bits of calmness she had. She felt breathless right away, and so fucking tired that she had to close her eyes and rub her temple with her free hand.

“I love you for over a million, billion, things Billie, but before you open your mouth to say something so...genuinely stupid, stop for a second and think about it once or twice,” Dara opened her eyes, looking at how taken aback was her wife, but in that moment she didn’t care. “Think about how we’ve been together for the last ten years and think about how I am around people I don’t like,” she felt her heart hammering in her chest and her whole body aching for the outburst. “Do you think I would’ve ever let her come into our lives if I didn’t like her, ah?” the question resonated through the silent living room in a weird uneasy way. “Do you ever think I would’ve let her go down on you or me if I didn’t?” a nervous laugh broke free from her chest at that, the hand that wasn’t in her cane going to put a lock of hair behind her ear. “Do you ever think that, if I didn’t like her, I would had gone yesterday night with you to help her? If I didn’t like her a single damned bit, do you think we would be here in this exact fucking moment having this fucking conversation?”

The room was feeling too hot for Dara at that moment, feeling her heart beating loudly in the back of her head and in her throat, making her feel she was about to burst into tears if she kept talking. Billie was pale, standing there in such weird silence, but any drop of self control she had was damned by now and Dara could see it because the hand that Billie wasn’t using to support herself in the counter was trembling a bit.

“I do get that what she went through was horrible and traumatic, I get that she’s your best friend and you love her a lot...” she truly felt like she was pushing the words out of her tired mind, all the tears she was holding back. “...but I was there for her too, many, many times. Most of them when you were away and she came home looking for you. If I didn’t like her, I would have shushed her the fuck away but I didn’t. So don’t ask me again if I like her, because it’s one of the most unfair things you ever did to me,” and through all the red that Dara was seeing in the moment, she managed to see how Billie was approaching her which only made her tears to push harder. “Do I like her? Of course I do, for God’s sake. I still have a heart inside, luckily, as much as y’all seem to forget,” and when she chuckled darkly, her tears finally started to run down her cheeks, as if they were burning their way down. “So there you have your fucking answer, are you happy?”

Dara felt like something finally broke inside her, gripping with both hands her cane to not fall to the ground when she felt her knees grow weak. And it hurt so bad? it burnt and it made her feel like there’s not enough air in the house for her to breath. She was truly tired at this point of her life, tired of the rest not being able to see she was breaking too under the weight of all the things happening. She didn’t considered herself as someone jealous, she really wasn’t, but many times Dara had felt that Billie chose Audrey over her.

After all what she had done for the actress, all the sleepless nights, all the comfort words, all the tiny little pieces of her that she left for Audrey to take in order to heal; that Billie decided to ask her that as if she wasn’t right by her side doing it...well, it started to hurt more than she could handle. Dara was always so sure of Billie’s love for her, waited for her to finally say that she loved her back, waited for her to finally be comfortable around her...but sometimes, behind all that confidence Dara had, a tiny bit of doubt had started to grow in its own corner. 

A corner that got bigger when Billie stopped dead in her tracks again, not getting to reach her.

Billie didn't stop, however, because she didn't want to reach Dara. In fact, her whole body wanted to be wrapped around the trembling figure of her wife, sobbing in such heartbreaking way, to provide her of all the endless love she had for her...but she couldn't deny that hearing the truth being spitted out of her beautiful lips had left her speechless.

She was used to let her thoughts flow freely, most of the time taking advantage of being able to sense other emotions, to be blunt and also stating them flatly without much trouble. But sometimes, the times where people weren't taken aback due to her usual brassiness, Billie found herself saying things people wasn't expecting to ever deal with or were remotely prepared to do so. In this case, Dara wasn't ready at all to receive that question, and Billie visibly could tell but...well, she decide to push her in that direction anyway and now not only she was speechless but she felt devastated.

Devastated because the person she cared the most in this world was breaking in front of her, showing how small and fragile was in reality. Devastated because she created the situation; devastated because the only thing she did was to finally close the gap separating them to take Dara's hands in her own, making the cane fall to the ground with a muffled sound upon hitting the slim carpet of the living room. Her chest tightened when her wife still didn't move, crying her eyes out in between quiet sobs that resonated through her whole body, and she felt even worse because she wasn't brave enough to look at her directly, focusing in their hands instead.

"I'm sorry," the air in her lungs hurt like Hell itself when Billie managed to say something, Dara squeezing her hands in response. "I'm sorry I asked that, I...I didn't...please love..." please, let me fix this, tell me, help me.

"No, I'm the one being sorry for taking this all out on you," and Billie's heart hurt even more when she caught the defeat showing in Dara's eyes when she looked briefly at her, darkly chuckling again when she raised her arm to dry her tears with her sleeve without breaking the contact, her face scrunching ever so softly to try stop her tears. "I really shouldn't have…"

"No, hey, don't do that," panic overflown all over Billie, her hands now cuping Dara's face to have her closer, thumbs wiping hot tears and palms feeling the heat in her cheeks. She was able to finally look into her eyes, at least when her wife wasn't pressing her eyelids together harder to stop crying. "You have nothing to be sorry about, you were in your right to call my bullshit out."

"It's just...why did you ask me that Billie? I don't understand," Dara sniffed, trying to steady her voice but making her next sob to come out as a strangled whine. "Four years being with Audrey before we married and now you ask me if I like her? Really?"

It's then when Billie pulled her wife close, hiding her head in the hollow of her neck even when her wife was a few inches taller than her and pressing her lips to the crown of her head to hide the giant knot she had herself in her throat. Billie wasn't ready to admit the next answer, but because she wasn't ready it was what she needed to say in order to make things even. Billie's chest felt tight and it hurt so bad right now that she was holding Dara so close? Feeling her trembling and sobbing and grasping to her sweater - Dara's, because Billie stole it six years ago from her old closet at Dara's parents' and to this day it's her go-to comfort clothes when she’s at home - as if she was the only thing she needed to be there in that moment.

"I know… I only asked because…" she couldn't help but gulp in order to continue and her hand went to brush Dara's hair out of her face. "...because if you didn't like her, I'd have try to see her less.'

Billie was scared of what it came out of her mouth, and also because she could only hear her heart hammering against her ribcage along Dara's sobs in her neck. She felt the wetness of her tears in her skin, starting to get a bit sticky because they were drying slowly, but she didn't mind at all, too worried in securing her wife between her arms and starting to caress her arm and cheek with care. Her thumb was trying to both caress her warm skin and wipe the non-stop flow of tears, and Billie thought that’s what was actually helping Dara to start to calm down.

"Even if I did, I couldn't do that to you Bills," the whispered statement, Dara's lips so close to her pulse point that she felt how they moved and brushed ever so soft there, made Billie feel like all the fear she was holding in her chest disappeared. "I know how much you love her, how important is for you...and you know that I'm not a heartless bitch."

Even when is a joke that she usually resorts to, Billie still didn't like when Dara called herself those kind of things.

"But if you wanted me to, I would have done it," Billie felt her chest less tight for sure but she needed to get this out of her already because Dara deserved to hear it. "I would do anything for you because you are the most important person in my life, Annie, and that's a rock fact."

The tiny joke at the end made Dara chuckle cutely - and God that it felt good hearing her do that even with the runny nose and the cough that followed -, only because it was a recurring pun she used and Billie did it out of habit at times too, before she finally used her arms to wrap Billie in them by her waist and press it against her body, getting comfortable in the hug they pulled each other into. At that, Billie finally noticed how the shadow let go of her wife and it was like everything was getting back to usual little by little. 

It felt even better when Dara finally stopped hiding in her neck, without pulling away from the hug, and shook her head while closing her redden eyes from crying. But for some reason she didn't look that tired anymore, her features growing softer each second that it passed. Billie grew softer too and brought up her sleeve, after pulling it a bit with her fingers, so she could clean better Dara's face with care. When she opened her eyes, Billie knew her girl was getting back to her slowly but surely, and she shook her head even more slow.

"I love you Bills, and I love her, like her too...I won't ever make you leave behind your best friend," there's only love in her eyes, mixed with that warmth that always cling in Billie's bones in such comforting way that the only thing she could do is to fold her hands in the small of Dara's back and start rubbing tiny circles with her thumbs there. "So no more of that, okay…?"

The right thing for Billie to do in that moment was nodding in agreement, before leaning in to capture her wife's lips with hers in one of those slow kisses they both were suckers for. It felt like Heaven brought to Earth only for Billie to enjoy and drown in it. A bit salty maybe because of the spilled tears, but it soon felt sweet. Being so close made Billie to start pepper many more kisses all over Dara's face, always a bit slower as the woman she loved started to relax and melt in her arms.

"I love you Annie," she whispered after placing a kiss in that soft spot Dara had under her ear before moving to kiss her lips once again. "I love you," now it felt so natural to say it, mumbled against a new kiss and taking as a reward another cute giggle from her wife. "Can I take you to bed or I'm still on couch arrest…?"

Oh to hear Dara's little laugh after another kiss was an absolute bliss. Billie could only wrap her arms better and lower, lifting her slightly and gaining a low hiss because of that. For a second her haze broke, worried about it, and her eyes looked out for the discomfort Dara seemed to have, but she was kissed again before manage to do so.

"You totally still are...but let's make an exception," and the soft static Billie felt in her skin when she was with Dara appeared again, making her sweetly go back to loving her wife and start to walk in between kisses and laughs back to their bedroom.

Two hours cuddling, kissing and whispering sweet nothings to each other was what they both needed. Not only because yesterday was a total mess, but because they've been apart three days and a few more this month. There in their quietness, they managed to talk a bit more too about daily stuff they've missed when they were apart.

Billie apologized yet again because she didn’t notice Dara’s old injury was acting up, per example, and offered to help applying some muscle soothing cream. Dara, once she was feeling a bit better and after they decided to take a well deserved shower, took in her hands the task of redoing Billie’s nails and they spent a good chunk playfully fighting over the best color - and in the end, they agreed for some nude color for Billie and Dara fixed hers in black. How Billie took to herself kissing Dara in different ways she knew the woman loved; how Dara started to rant about the last messes at work and both cussed heavily, because they were like that; how the blonde ran her fingers in soft caresses over every tattoo her wife had…

They didn’t leave the bed until it was time to actually meet up for lunch with Audrey and Danielle, purely just enjoying each other and both feeling so much better by the time Billie sat up in bed to watch her wife go through their wardrobe. Sometimes it was nice to let Dara pick their clothes for the day, mostly because it meant a good change for their usual choices. 

Billie ended up getting a flowery high waisted skirt that fell loose to her knees, and her favourite peach blouse that she didn’t know how it survived ten years at this point but she wasn’t going to complain. For Dara was that one amber blouse Billie loved the most in her, the one that brought up her tanned skin, along her favourite dark pants that she knew drove Billie utterly insane and making her chuckle a ‘such a tease, aren’t you’ while Dara was getting her rings and usual jewelry on.

Those times were intimate and Billie cherished them a lot, because she never thought she would get them one day.

Hand in hand, both made their way out of the apartment not long after, and it took Billie the whole ride to get her body used again to Dara’s driving. It wasn’t that she forgot how her wife was, but heck that having others drive her here and there or even drive herself was always a whole different experience.

But there was a tiny satisfaction in watching Dara come out of the car with this glow around her that made her so different from any other person Billie met, when they pulled over at where they were having lunch that she always liked to indulge in. It made her feel important, it made her focus to be all over her wife, yet it made her feel down on Earth when they started to walk towards the terrace.

Billie thought that what she loved the most about Dara was how she was capable, with her whole demeanour and way of caring about her, of making her feel she was living in this reality. They both knew very well that there were times in which fame and her powers got too into Billie’s head, making her feel like she was just a passing soul through life instead of an actual human being. Having Dara as a constant in her life, one that she didn’t want to ever part ways with, helped her the most. And, of course, she wanted to be better than she was to her and show Dara that she had her all for herself, because God, them and both Audrey and Nora knew that Billie many times did things that didn’t demonstrate how important her wife was for her.

But Dara was still there, despite everything.

“Sweet baby Jesus, I can’t believe we are here earlier than them,” Dara’s voice brought Billie down to Earth from her thoughts. “How can two of the most punctual people in the universe not even be five minutes early to a date?”

“Cut them some slack, Dalfoddil,” Billie laughed at the fake afflicted tone in Dara’s voice, sitting by her side to be closer to her. “I bet you thirty it was only traffic, or that they forgot something at home.”

“I bet you thirty and that new game I want that they are late because of sex, Howt Stuff,” Dara mumbled before pressing her lips against Billie’s, which she eagerly took advantage of and snuck an arm behind Dara’s lower back to be even closer. “Are we bringing the bad boys before dessert now?”

“I can’t help it, baby, don’t mind me today...but we have a deal,” Billie looked at her feeling how her chest was about to burst of all the love she had for her. When Dara let herself be cuddled there in the seat, resting her head in Billie’s shoulder, she pressed a new kiss to her forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Billie Dean.”

And upon hearing that coming from Dara’s pretty lips, after the millionth or billionth time, Billie knew today was going to be a good day.

When Audrey finally arrived ten minutes later, Danielle on her phone talking with a client and relieved Damien because her mother didn’t drive walking behind her, Billie had Dara still cuddled in her side as they were exchanging sweet nothings and drinking wine and soda respectively - Dara not being in the mood of drinking today. And when they settled, Audrey couldn’t help but make a little gesture with her eyebrows, silently asking Billie ‘everything okay?’ while the cousins were busy with the waiter. Her only response was a quick wink and seeing how Billie’s left hand was caressing Dara’s back up and down with care, earning her a new peck after Dara’s attention went back to her.

More than okay.

For Audrey, that was enough response. They had known each other for almost five years already, sharing more than just a friendship along the way, so she knew right away that the other couple was having one of those ‘reconciliation’ days. Not that they ever broke up, as far as Audrey knew, but sometimes they behaved like they did and were back together and stronger than ever. Well, stronger than they already were, because she never met a couple like them. They seemed to gravitate around each other in a way she wished to understand and for Audrey, she always saw that being with Dara made Billie the happiest.

Looking at Danielle for a second, when the other two were distracted talking with Damien - or more Dara talking with their niece while Billie simply listened, arm over her shoulders and glass of wine in the other hand -, Audrey discerned that her girlfriend was a bit confused yet her light brown eyes were full of tenderness. Their hands met under the table and, after a light squeeze, she earnt a peck of her own that made her contently smile.

Content smile that disappeared when Dara asked right away why they were late, once Damien had to go to the restroom, and was replaced by Audrey’s face lightening up like a Christmas light because bingo they had a shower quickie that took them a bit longer than intended.

“Oh, come on, you placed a bet and all,” Dara couldn’t help but laugh out loud when Audrey said that, rightfully offended, upon seeing Billie taking out a few bills from her purse to give them to her. “Why do you two always have bets for everything?”

“Because it’s fun and I always win,” Danielle, still with her face red as a tomato, chuckled at how happy and relaxed Dara was. “You also played bets with us, darling, don’t you play innocent now.”

“Yeah but after losing a hundred dollars to you in one go, I decided to quit altogether,” at that Billie laughed, the memory of about what they bet that time coming to her mind, because Audrey was just exasperated. “How do you even do it?”

It was time for Dara to laugh. She never did much, to begin with, it was just her intuition and one of many leaps of faith she was used to take. That was her secret, not expecting the result and just go for it. 

After that and a very scandalized Danielle because ‘why would you even do that’ when Dara answered a happy ‘I’m a lucky bitch, what else can I do?’, having promised to her that one day they would tell her, a day in which everyone was wasted and with no children around; Dara managed to think that everything was finally settling again.

It was a nice feeling, because those times where Billie and her got into a discussion took a too heavy toll on her. She never liked getting into arguments to begin with, but having them with Billie was the worst thing ever because it meant for her that communication had failed. Even in the past, they only had a couple serious arguments in between all the playful bickering and the eventual ‘couch arrest’ because one of them took it a bit too far, nothing really serious taking in count the other went to retrieve the part in arrest after a few hours or the next morning. She loved how afterwards Billie got softer, more loving and willing to show her feelings, and she basically couldn’t say no to her in those times.

She also loved to be able to show it to the rest, not because she wanted to brag about, but because she had been waiting for too long to do it completely freely. 

When Audrey took her hand with care over the table and smiled widely, full knowing how much she was enjoying having Billie like that, Dara’s heart grew three sizes and for a second she forgot about how a question regarding the actress was what was behind of it all. Dara didn’t want to dwell on that anymore, because now everything was in the open to Billie understand her position and for her to understand from where Billie’s doubts were coming from. 

So the next thing she did after the tiny exchange of smiles with Audrey was to actually check her phone after twelve hours without doing it.

“Billie, did you buy a new couch?” Dara had to bite her tongue to not curse like a sailor, because really what the fuck, and Billie looked at her from behind her third glass of wine like ‘oh snap, she finally saw it’.

“You said I’ve been six years complaining about it,” Billie whined back, trying to not look at her wife because Dara was digging holes in her skull just by how she was looking at her. “So yesterday night I just ordered a new one, easy as pie.”

“And didn’t you think about measuring our living room before to see if it actually fits?” Dara tapped at the screenshot to see it better. “God, this is massive, what in th-”

But before she could keep at it, feeling how Billie’s hand was now placed in her thigh and rubbing soft circles there to avoid getting murdered in her sleep, her screen changed to display someone was calling. It took her a second to read the caller id and then all the happiness and all the warmth, dropped to her feet.

“I’ll kick your ass later,” Dara mumbled, taking advantage of Billie not looking at what she was doing with her phone, before standing up to go pick up the call. “Don’t you think I’m gonna forget about it.”

When she was at enough distance to not be heard, Dara pressed the phone to her ear, her heart beating loudly in her throat.

If Constance was calling her directly, and not Billie, it wasn’t a good signal.

“Hi Constance, how are you?” she started before the woman in the other side of the line talked, trying to not sound nervous. It didn’t help either that Dara had some sick respect for her. “Older than last time, kid, that for sure,” she replied darkly but with a tone that gave away she was distracted. “Yeah, right, do you want to talk with Billi-” it was the easiest way to make Constance Langdon talk, bringing up her wife because both had a different and stronger bond. “If I wanted to talk with Billie Dean, I would have called her, don’t you think?” and Dara’s silence invited her to keep talking. “Anyway, I was calling because miss Montgomery’s been acting weird,” Constance didn’t like Nora for the mere fact that she was the actual owner of the house and if she ever had to refer to her, it always came from a polite sarcasm. “She’s been in the front yard, sitting there all alone. Vivien and Violet tried to make her come in, they are still there with her in fact. I’m only calling because I have a bad feeling about this,”  and Dara’s heart dropped even lower than all the good feelings already dropped. “Did she said something at all? Did you actually talked to her?” She had to ask because Nora wasn’t one to go out of the house on her own volition, only coming out on Halloween or the couple times they managed to take her to the backyard. “She asked for you, actually. And it scared the shit outta me that she let me see her in fact.” Oh yeah, Nora wasn’t a big fan of Constance neither, and that was what made everything more worrisome. Dara rubbed her neck, trying to stay calm, before giving an answer. “...I’ll be there in twenty.”

She hanged up without saying anything else, and turned around to go back to the table. Desserts were already there and the adults were laughing while Damien seemed embarrassed for some reason that escaped her knowledge. 

However, Dara’s mind was racing in another line, thinking about how she needed to get to Nora as soon as possible. 

This was when her secret card was played and also why she didn’t ever found herself asking Billie almost the same question she did. Dara never got in her enough courage to ask Billie if she cared, not loved or liked, but truly cared about the ghost anymore. Mostly because she knew the answer: Nora wasn’t actually there, she couldn’t provide of the warmth, she couldn’t change, she couldn’t grow, she couldn’t even leave the place she was confined to. It pained her, it pained her for the last four years, to know that everything had come to an end.

As much as Billie played it dumb, she had noticed how Nora’s wounds had closed already and that made her feel wary. She loved how Nora wasn’t a crying wreck anymore, how her true persona came out more often than not instead of the one generated by the trauma, but those times it made Dara feel how she was lighter in her arms and even one time she felt her fingers pass through her arm as if Nora was a mere smoke curtain.

“Everything okay Annie?” Billie’s voice was as worried as the glint in her eyes, taking in count Dara was spacing out just in front of them looking at her phone.

“It was Constance, there’ve been some problem at the house and wanted me to check into it,” Dara pushed herself to act more relaxed, as if it wasn’t something really important, and Billie frowned to that. “You know her, always getting worried the house is gonna burn down or something.”

“Let’s go then baby,” was Billie immediate response, moving to stand up, but Dara put a hand on her shoulder and leant enough to kiss her cheek briefly.

“Don’t worry sugar, I got it, okay? Just enjoy the rest of the afternoon,” Chuckling, Dara retrieved her bag and called for the waitress, signaling to her dessert. “Can you put me this for take out? Thank you,” her eyes went then to Billie again, smiling softly, and then to Audrey, Danielle and Damien. “You three take care of her while I’m gone, I’ll be chopping heads off if one hair is out of place,” she laughed with her joke and Danielle only rolled her eyes a bit.

“Actually Audrey has to be the one doing that, I have to go get some last minute work done this afternoon,” Dara looked with curiosity to her cousin and she shrugged a bit. “I’m taking Dada with me, so I think these two will be alone.”

It was then when Billie looked at Dara with some kind of uncertainty in her eyes, taking her hand in hers, as if asking if she really got it under control. Dara felt moved for some reason, taking in count almost nine years ago she was the one trying to stop Billie from going into that house all alone. But she only leant over her again, this time kissing her wife fully on the lips while her free hand grabbed her cane, ending the soft affectionate move with a mere brush of noses.

“Take care, okay? I love you,” Billie mumbled, placing her hand in Dara’s thigh for a second. “Call me if it gets too bad, promise it.”

And to that Dara, already swooning too much, kissed her again to seal that promise. 

Audrey got a big goodbye kiss on the cheek, as usual, while Danielle was hugged from behind and Damien got a kiss on top of her hair and, like that, Dara was making her way to her car with a brownie for take out and all the worries about Nora bottled inside.

While driving, Dara tried to come up with a line of act. Would be Nora altered? Would she need to do an intervention? Would she have to get help from the other ghosts in the house? The only ones she manage to...befriend were the Harmon women and, stil, she wasn’t sure if Moira actually liked her taking in count the first time they saw each other...well, Dara didn’t see her in her true form right away. Hayden at times, and it was always weird. And in a very good day, specially good even, Nora’s husband exchanged some words with her.

That was maybe the weirdest part of it all, that Charles had seen her close enough to actually talk to her, because when Billie had tried to contact him - the couple few times for her research - he didn’t make a single sound.

When Dara pulled over, her head was full of all the things that could go wrong with Nora or any of the other ghosts in the house. If she had any energy back during the morning, it all went away in the fifteen minute ride to the house, making her feel as she was feeling all those days Billie was away.

Tiresome, too tiresome.

But when she crossed the fence, she fell in the spell the house always had around. Dara’s eyes went first around the front yard, taking in count every little thing she had done to keep the abandonment at bay. The lawn was a bit wet, the rose bushes as well and then Vivien was squat down in front of Nora, with Violet sitting by her side and taking her hand.

Dara walked slowly towards them, her cane tapping in the stones of the tiny path, feeling heavy with each step but getting confident as she went further and further. Vivien saw her first, then Violet, and both stood up giving Dara a pitiful and desperate look. Once they were gone, it was time for Dara to get near Nora finally, and she could only get her eyes on her back and her whole aura.

For Dara, Nora glowed that day in a different light.

“What’s the prettiest gal around doing here all alone?” she raised her voice, with enough sweetness and tenderness to sweeten up Nora’s mood.

“Waiting for the sun to come to me, sweetie pie,” for Nora, she was always something along ‘sweet’, because she couldn’t see her as anything else. “Did you see the rosebuds? They’re so lovely right now...”

Nora felt how Dara, her sweet Dally, kneeled with a bit of trouble behind her, soon getting the mint scent of her shampoo filling her whole. She could smell a hint of cigarette, Billie Dean’s perfume and the earthy scent that she came to associate with the woman that was hugging her from behind. Leaning back in the embrace, Nora lifted her hand to meet Dara’s left cheek still without looking at her, indulging in how she was resting her chin in her shoulder and pressing a light kiss in her jaw before looking at the bush with her.

“Not as lovely as you,” Nora chuckled at the flattery, knowing Dara didn’t lie when she said that. “Were you feeling better that you decided to come out?”

“Not really, but I felt like getting some watering done, can you believe it? Me, wanting to do such thing,” that drew a low laugh from both, making Dara tighten her hug. Nora went to put her hand over Dara’s, tracing her rings as usual to calm herself...even when she felt calm enough that day. “My mother would had been laughing at me for years if she ever came to know.”

“Then we are lucky she would never do,” Nora closed her eyes, feeling the warmth spreading in her chest. “Why don’t we move inside, darling? I brought with me some chocolate cake and we can make some tea, maybe tell me how was your day? I’m yours all noon.”

All mine. It rolled even more sweet in her tongue for the few seconds Nora took to react. God, she wished that was the whole and only truth in the world. She complied to that, however, whispering barely an ‘of course’ before helping Dara to stand up again. Nora waited then for Dara to retrieve the box with the cake at the porch stairs, feeling all the warmth in her body to gather where her heart was supposed to be, and once she was again by her side she quickly linked their arms to walk side by side inside.

Nora could feel the rest in the house withdraw to their usual accommodations, they always did that when she was wandering around, and she thanked them all inside because that’s everything she wanted right now. 

Chattering idly about banal things, they made their way to the kitchen that looked much better without all the things Vivien had equipped it with when they moved back in two thousand eleven. Both Billie and Dara had spent their good money in remodeling the place, little by little, so it was more like it was used to be than what years and years of different owners made it to be. It made Nora feel better for sure, less confused and out of place, because as much as she made Charles’ life a living Hell when they were alive...she was still very much thankful to him for building the place, and sorry at times for being like that.

That much she could say, at least, because she didn’t ever love him. 

Because ‘love’ was what she felt for the first time when, one night, she decided to come out of the basement, encountering a curious woman in their backyard. Same woman that was now with her back facing her, humming along a song while setting up the kettle over the stove. How curious it was that these days she could recall things like that, but she gladly took it in because it made her feel content. 

She picked at the cake with the plastic spoon, knowing she didn’t need to actually eat, but indulging because Dara had brought it. In her days, things like that weren’t usual at all, so it was kind of a delight to be able to share this even when she couldn’t feel much of it aside of the taste before it went away. 

However, her focus changed when Dara finally set their cups of tea in the counter and sat close to her, letting the kettle close in case they wanted more. Fishing her phone - and this time Nora didn’t make a face! - from her pocket, Dara put it there too before turning all her attention to her. It was easy to notice that for Nora, because her sweetheart always spread her legs a bit, letting enough space in case she wanted to come even closer, and had her left hand resting in the back of Nora’s tall chair.

“Dally, are you okay?” was the first thing she asked, watching how the lovely features of her darling were filled with dread even when her smile was on. She could see the light dark circles under her eyes behind the make-up and how she bit her lip every few minutes. 

“Yeah darling, why wouldn’t I?” she laughed in response, moving her hand to accommodate Nora’s shawl better. 

“You look tired, spent even,” Nora wasn’t the best at being subtle, so she preferred to be direct. “Do I have to call Billie Dean and put her arse into place? I swear if she’s treating yo-”

“Everything is fine Nora, don’t worry,” Dara laced her fingers with Nora’s then, making her feel that calmness that she loved about the woman in front of her. “My leg has been acting up for a few days already and work has been...awful, so I couldn’t rest much. Also how can it be Billie’s fault when she barely got home yesterday? Give her some rest.”

No, I can’t give her some rest. Nora thought squeezing Dara’s hand a bit in hers. Not when she’s in charge of giving you all our love. But she nodded, agreeing to not put in place the other socialité, because if Dara asked her to do something she would do it right away. It visibly calmed her having Nora to agree, though, and it was a view to sore eyes having her smiling in that way her dimples showed up.

"Then tell me, who do I have to terrorize the next time the house let me go out," Nora asked, not wanting to break the contact, while tracing Dara's knuckles with her thumb. "You know I can get quite scary."

"I think at this rate I'll be quitting before Halloween," Dara laughed at that, the stress lacing in her words. "But I don't want to talk about work, I'd prefer to talk about what are we doing this year in your day off, do you want to go to the movies? Or maybe this year you want to go to the beach? We can even go home and relax there, you name it, you have it."

Home. The word tasted sweet in her tongue again, and Nora really wished that apartment to be their home...or well, even the house they were in right now. It didn't matter for her to be honest, because anywhere Dara was, for Nora was already home.

And while they started to talk about it, all the possibilities they had to fulfill in twenty four hours, Nora's mind started to wander in all those things she usually thought when she was alone. 

At times, Nora pictured Dara in the time she was alive. Oh, she would totally be a charmer, one of those flappers that Nora’s mother hated so much and made sure she wasn’t even close to by making her attend parties full of ‘proper’ ladies and gentlemen alike. But she knew that Dara would manage to sneak in, her manners blending perfectly and ‘innocently’ hanging around her, sharing with Nora stories about dancing freely along the music that was played in ballrooms and about a house in the coast where they could do whatever they wanted.

Not only that would made Nora fall in love with the concept of freedom, but also with the concept that maybe her future wasn’t tied to a man nor to a child of her own...nor even tied to the status and the money. At first lying about the nature of their hangs out would be almost the rule, but then eventually moving together because ‘they liked to be around each other too much’, and then the rumors would start of course. But Nora found herself not caring at all, because as long as she was by Dara’s side that's all that mattered to her.

Cake and tea gone, Nora listened to something Dara was telling her with passion, barely asking for permission to lit up the cigarette she had been rolling while talking, before keep with the topic. Of course Dara would smoke back in the twenties too, but Nora imagined her smoking cigarrillos more than the regular or even smoking pipe, the room note hanging wonderfully in her clothes and Nora imagined herself wrapped in one of Dara’s shirts, getting comfort from that solely when she was out of the house.

“I think I’ve never seen you in this dress,” Dara’s fingers brought her back to the present when they fixed the white shawl, giving her a soft caress in her chin. “It suits you, brings your eyes and lips out.”

“You’re terrible,” In that moment, and back in her time, she blushed as fiercely as she allowed herself, her hand going quickly to shush Dara. “I had it since forever, it’s one of my favourites! I wore it before.”

“Okay, okay,” Dara chuckled again, taking a drag and letting the smoke come out of her nose and mouth in a swift move. “Sorry, these days my mind isn’t that sharp...still, you truly look beautiful Nora.”

You had nothing to be sorry for. Nora thought while finally giving in and getting her chair closer to Dara, which only looked at her warmly before leaning to kiss her temple and place her right arm over Nora’s lap, resting her hand in her hip. She missed the days they could kiss openly, mostly because she found herself comfortable being held by her and pampered in love just like that, but she understood that now things had changed. 

Damned you, Billie Dean, seven times damned. Nora couldn’t blame her, indeed, she felt...at peace knowing that her favourite people finally made themselves official. But that couldn’t stop her from being jealous of the medium, jealous because many times she wished to be the one that had gifted her that gold ring with tiny rubies that rested in Dara’s left ring finger, jealous because...well, Billie was alive and could give everything to their pretty flower.

“You aren’t that bad yourself, sweetheart,” she mumbled in response, leaning a bit better and resting her head in Dara’s shoulder, her hand tracing her necklace and fixing her shirt. 

“Miss Montgomery, you’re terrible! Scandalous even, wow,” Dara imitated her and Nora closed her eyes, feeling how her laugh vibrated through her skin like a soft hum that made her chuckle in response. And then a sweet silence settled between them, until Dara broke it again. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, mhm?”

Oh, Nora didn’t know how to start to reply to that. 

In fact she didn’t even know why Dara was there to begin with, but she found herself not caring because it was like her own feelings had summoned her that day to the house.

Nora had opened her eyes in the morning as if she had the longest nap ever, those days being like that, like a never ending nap that gave her enough energies to go through one and only day; and she felt somewhat free. The basement was in silence, as it always was after her Thaddeus had passed a few years ago, but something was calling her to go upstairs. She had done that and the first person she crossed ways with had been Hayden, that looked at her half worried half shocked, and then Violet had almost knocked her down while asking if she was feeling alright.

‘More than alright, I think I’m gonna take a walk around the house today.’ she had tell her and it didn’t come from the white lies she always told. Nora had been feeling great the moment she was out of her usual place in the house. It had been like something had set off from her chest and she could breathe again. 

So she had done that with Violet by her side, listening to all the stories Nora had of the house. Stories of the past but also of the present, and it came a moment in which she could only talk about memories she made with the woman that was holding her so tightly in her arms.

“Not much,” Nora decided to reply, closing her eyes again to indulge in the warmth. “Just that I’m glad you are here...I kinda felt like dancing today.”

When the little walk around the house had came to an end, Nora had felt like a spark starting in her belly, the one she always got when she was ready to do something fun and new. That same spark was what had brought her outside, feeling the sun in her like as if it was something she never experienced before. Then her eyes had fixed in the rose bushes - white roses starting to bloom, white roses that were planted because they were Nora’s favourites - and she found herself wondering once again if she ever felt that content with something so simple. 

“Dancing? Well, I can fix that then,” Dara finally moved and Nora almost yelled at her to not go, a sudden panic rising in her chest and her throat, but then she placed her lips to her forehead lightly to not stain her skin with lipstick. “But first I need to go to the bathroom, you wait me here okay? I’ll be back in a flash.”

“Sure, I’ll clean this...mess to entertain myself,” Nora said, letting out an exasperated breathe that made Dara laugh in response, retrieving her cane from where it was resting. “Making a girl wait, her manners’ been rubbing off on you miss Lynch.”

Nora had managed to get some already bloomed and do a simple arrangement to put as decoration somewhere in the house. But the second she had looked at her work, her energies fell to the ground and her legs hadn’t been able to hold her anymore. Alone, but without the need to call out for help, she waited there just feeling her body lighter, in hopes the sun helped her to regain some energies to keep moving. Oh, what her mother would had said if she passed out in the lawn? Her eyes could only keep themselves busy in those roses about to bloom, soft rosebuds she wasn’t sure if she was going to see them at all.

“Nora?” Violet’s voice made her hum just to let the girl know she was being listened, but her fingers were moving along the form of Dara’s cellphone. “Where’s-”

“Bathroom, in the other house,” Nora didn’t look at her, with a mere move of her head in the correct direction. “Could you give me a hand, dear? I need...well, I don’t know how this works aside that you can call, so...I want to speak with Billie Dean.”

“Why don’t you wa-”

“Privately, Violet,” she felt the tears tingling in her eyes, threatening to spill, but Nora held them. “Please.”

It wasn’t until Dara had arrived, all of a sudden, that she actually felt that both Vivien and Violet had been trying to make her go inside. The time in between when she felt her energies fall until Dara was hugging her from behind was blank in her mind, but she found herself yet again not minding at all because her sun was there already to take her home. It was the only thing she needed at this point to keep going...and now that Dara was there, she felt complete...

However, there was still a little something in her, waiting to be untied and set free once for all. Something that had to do with the woman she, along Violet, was trying to reach. The teenager was quick to find Billie’s contact and when the phone started to ring, she wasn’t nervous at all. Her hand went to where she knew the bullet hole was, out of habit, just to find the spot clean of any wound, and she smiled softly when she found her mouth didn’t taste like iron and salt.

“Annie?” oh, how jealous Nora was because she took the softer name to make it hers. “It’s me Billie Dean.” Nora said, moderating her voice because Dara had taught her at least that she didn’t need to yell at all. “Nora...is Annie with you? Is she okay?” Billie was nervous, panicked even, but she was trying to sound composed to not give it away. “Yes, she just went to Constance’s for a second. I wanted to speak with you before she comes back, Violet helped me with...the demonic device.” and at that, Nora shushed Violet with her hand so she could be alone in the kitchen. “One day you’ll call it by its name, ‘s way easier darling,” Nora chuckled at that because God, how different it felt be called sweet names from different people, even if it was the same one. “Of course.” she rubbed her hands together for a second, not knowing how to say those words. “Then...what did you want to talk about?” Billie encouraged her and Nora caught a laugh from behind her voice, not Billie’s at all. “I...thank you, Billie Dean. Thank you, for everything you have done for me.” and with that, the little something was gone and she felt even more light, her head feeling more clear. “Simple as that, just thank you.” and the silence arrived in the other side of the line at the same time the front door unlocked.

Nora’s hand pushed the red button quickly, as Violet had told her to if she wanted to end the call, and then left the phone where it was before she decided to move towards the living room and wait for Dara there.

It wasn’t as simple as that, because that would probably the first time Nora ever thanked Billie. A thank you for not letting anyone else to come into this cursed house by buying it, a thank you for restoring it for her, a thank you for letting her come in their lives…

...a thank you for letting her love Dara in a way she died without knowing it was possible.

“Did the ballroom started without me?” Dara said in a happy-go-lucky tone, hobbling slowly in the living room with her phone in hand. “Which song are we playi-”

“Can you sing today, dear?” it wasn’t an usual request, but Nora wanted to hear Dara’s voice as much as possible. “I love your voice.”

“Of course, anything for you,” when Nora looked at Dara, she looked younger, almost like she looked ten years ago when they met. Her features full of that softness she usually got when she was looking at Billie…but now, her girl got it all for her. “Then I’ll start with my favourite one.”

Once Dara was holding her close to her body, Nora knew that was where she belonged. An arm over Dara’s shoulders, the other one sandwiched in between their bodies, all of that while holding her handkerchief with one of her dearest one’s hands resting over and pushing it to her chest, where her beating heart sounded for them two. Nora found her right place in the hollow of Dara’s neck, where she could feel how the woman was starting to sing only for her.

Oh, it felt beautifully to experience that. 

She chuckled when Dara changed the lyrics to fit a bit better, all of that as they swinged ever so softly, and she could feel more eyes watching them. The energy of the rest occupants was starting to beat too fast for her, in a pace she felt herself not belonging, and she decide to press her lips to Dara’s cleavage - in the start, almost in the middle of her chest - to make herself feel anchored to something. It left a lipstick mark, but who cared in that moment? All Nora could hear at this point was how Dara’s heartbeat felt more easy to follow than anything else.

And because she finally found her own beat, her own pace...that’s why Nora felt brave enough to say those next words.

“I love you Dally,” Dara didn’t stop from moving but she did stop from singing, just so she could meet Nora’s eyes. She felt so full, so light at the same time, so very much at peace. “I love you, and I will always do.”

Easy as it was, Nora stood on her tiptoes to initiate for the first time a kiss. A kiss that was returned as if it was meant to be...as if it wasn’t going to be the last.

When Dara opened her eyes, Nora wasn’t there, but her handkerchief was still pressed in her palm. She looked around for a second, her fingers pressed then to her lips with the lingering warmth Nora left, and the silence started to press all over her body in a way she never felt before.

“Nora, where are you?” she asked out loud, moving to retrieve her cane once again, looking around not only the living room but in the kitchen. “Nora! C’mon darling, you know I don’t like playing hide and seek,” her voice wavered and for a second she tried to reach for Nora’s energy in some way, like Billie once taught her to, but not working at all. “Nora!”

Every second that it passed, Dara calling the name of the ghost, it was a torture. Not only because she didn’t get any response back but also because it started to wake other ghosts in the house. Vivien and Violet appeared when she rounded the stairs, ready to go to the basement alone - a voice really similar to Billie’s screaming at her to not do that -, and made her go upstairs along a confused Tate that was drawn by all the ruckus. Hayden’s voice was heard outside the house, calling for Nora too, but any of them got a response. 

She was starting to panic, panic like she never did before. 

The tension in her whole body was enough to make her grit her teeth, piling up in her chest and starting to burn with the buzz of all the souls trapped in the Montgomery's house. That’s why she didn’t like that part of her powers, that’s why she was so overwhelmed that there was too much activity in one place. It made her feel she was going to explode.

And when she got to the open kitchen again, Tate behind her almost pulling all his hair out, Dara finally saw Charles.

Vivien, Violet, Moira and Hayden were looking at him too, as if they had never seen him before. He looked...clean, out of her scrubs and with a proper suit. Dara knew that suit, it was the same he was wearing in that family picture Billie and her found of the Montgomery’s. Somehow, he also looked more...free, as to speak, his energy felt almost refreshing when his was always one of those that reeked in a different intensity.

Dara felt her heart beating so loud in her ears, however, making her see red again today and feeling a sudden burst of heat in her chest. In a swift movement of her hand, she held her cane more like a bat than a cane, ready to smash his head if that meant to know where Nora was, but before she could take the first step Charles spoke up.

"She's not here," his eyes went then to the rest in the kitchen before landing again in Dara. "It's useless that you keep on calling out for her.."

"What are you saying? Where did she go," it came out of Dara's mouth more like a growl than a question, one that hanged between all of them as if it was an unspoken truth and made Dara to feel multiple chills running down her spine. "I'm not joking Charles! Where the fuck is Nora!?"

"I think you know where she is, dear," this time it was Moira the one that talked, her voice filled with sadness, relief and maybe a bit of jealousy. "We all know."

No, no, no. 

"For a really long time we avoided each other, even before we...ended like this," Charles kept going, walking now to the middle of the empty living room. "Money, the house, our son... everything was something ideal to argue about. It pained me, those times I was lucid, to see us like that," he chuckled lightly and Dara's heart beated harder, painfully even. "To see that I couldn't make her happy in any possible way. It's macabre to say we got what we deserved, mostly because it was my fault what transpired in the last moments of our lives, and as the years passed by...well, let's say a hundred years gives you enough time to think and see as much as I was lost in myself."

Dara didn't want to listen to him, she really didn't. She closed her eyes and tried harder to reach Nora's energy, feeling even more strained by doing so, and then she fell to her knees without strength. A set of hands reached for her, burning like molten metal that she couldn't roll away from. But her eyes, now open again, went to the man that had stopped in his advance.

Tears blinded her, making Charles blurry in short distance along the tiny child that was crawling towards him.

Charles looked around then before leaning to take his son in his arms, smiling tenderly upon seeing his perfect face instead of what he became because of him. Giving him a cuddle in his cheek, perfect round cheek so similar to his wife, he finally looked at the woman that was breaking down in front of him. How she was being held by that young lady, the daughter of the last owners of the house; how she was crying her eyes out, the loss hitting her like icy water; how it made him see that his most wanted wish was finally fulfilled.

Didn’t Charles wanted to make Nora happy since the moment they met? Didn’t he wanted her to know he loved her?

He wasn’t able to do it, but through the last decade he had seen how someone else did. How someone had pulled all the broken pieces that he contributed to smash and put them together again; how someone else heard his Nora, made her feel important, made her grow out of many of the things that remained in her from her youth, loved her as she was instead of wanting to change her, and overall made her happy in the palace he built for her to enjoy to her heart’s content.

And that helped him heal along the way in the shadows, where anyone was noticing him, until the same woman that swiped his wife of her feet reached for him too.

“Above all the wrong I did, above all the chaos that we were,” Charles felt himself smiling truthfully after too many years, feeling how Thaddeus started to fall asleep in his shoulder. “I do have to thank you, miss Lynch, because you made us see what we truly needed.” And it felt so peaceful saying that, the heavy weight remaining in his presence lifting and flying away. “I would suggest, however, to take some vacation from my dearest house...I’m afraid there are still too many evil forces and our darling Nora isn’t here to protect you anymore.”

When Charles walked away, his silhouette and energy gone of the house, the whole place seemed to hiss and creak under Dara’s body.

A new rush of energy filled her, the adrenaline pumping in her veins with such strength that when Violet and Vivien pulled her up she didn’t feel any pain. That wasn’t the only thing she was feeling, because the energy of the house was trying to pick at her all at once. She overheard steps all over the place, not only upstairs, but also downstairs and her sense to flight ringed louder than ever when she saw Tate launching himself against another ghost that was entering the living room in that moment. The house was trying to eat her alive, not only her energy - or what was left of it at this point - but her whole body too.

"You have to go," Vivien said before Violet took Dara's hand to make her run. "Don't worry about us, you have to make it home."

The only thing Dara did was to tighten the grip on Violet's hand as they started to run as much as they could through the back door in the kitchen.

Billie had a bad feeling installed in her stomach the second Nora hanged up the phone. Not only because it was the second time in her life that someone hanged up on her, but because she had this heavy pressure in the back of her head. Pressure that was only making her more and more restless as the minutes passed by.

Audrey was being a sweetheart, like always, being the one carrying the conversation most of the time or suggesting that they should do a marathon on that show they promised to watch together. She had let Billie put her legs on her lap, she had turned a blind eye on how Billie checked her phone every few minutes - when usually she didn’t like to have it near at all, now she had it pressed to her chest as if having the device in her skin would calm her-, she had offered to make tea and sandwiches and...and Billie couldn’t be more thankful to at least have Audrey here.

When Billie spied on Audrey making the afternoon snack, she had wondered where she had learnt to be like that. Even when she was feeling uneasy, Billie’s mind dug up everything she had learnt in those years about her best friend, and she was sure the way she was trying to act more homie wasn’t something she had in her before. Half hidden between the cushions, Billie’s mind also started to wonder and wonder, and in between wondering she asked herself for a second if maybe once was remotely possible to have that view everyday.

But soon she found that the view didn’t happen in her old kitchen, didn’t belong to this time nor even to this her. 

This her wasn’t what Audrey needed, that for sure, what she neede-

Audrey thought she was going to have a heart attack the second the door opened wide all of a sudden. It banged against the wall with such strength that it startled her enough to drop what she had in her hands. Turning around, the only two things Audrey saw was Billie standing up of the couch at light speed and Dara in between the couch and the kitchen counter, panting harshly as if she was barely catching her breath in that moment.

All that before falling to the ground as if her whole body had given up.

It sent Audrey to panic, making her let out a loud gasp, and she rounded the counter to find Dara sobbing loudly on the floor, clawing at her shirt as if she was trying to get out of it unsuccessfully and she was clearly hurting herself in the process. 

“Annie, Annie, stop!” Billie’s panicked scream made Audrey react enough to hold herself in the counter. She silently watched in horror how her best friend reached her wife, the first thing she did was to hold her wrists to stop her. “God, you’re...bleeding, what...Annie, please, don’t-” 

In all the time Audrey had known the couple, she hadn’t seen the youngest part of it to act differently as calm. Dara’s sobs were heartbreaking, choking on her tears and own breathing, making her cough violently because she was trying to speak at the same time. It was a mess, a scary one in fact, and Billie was handling it all by herself as best as she knew. 

“Baby, please, I need to see...” Dara had managed to break free from Billie’s hold and was now protecting her neck for her dear life while Billie was trying to pull her up against her chest, so Dara’s back was resting there. “You’re boiling in fever...Annie, c-can you stand up? Love, listen to me, you need to calm down…”

But the best that Billie knew, wasn’t enough right now. 

How could she handle Audrey so well, yet when her wife was the one she was about to panic? She didn’t ever see Billie panic, getting mad for sure, but panic? Ever. And as scared, anxious and confused as Audrey was, something inside her tried to clear her head to help two of the three people in her life that always came to rescue her when the bad days were too much to handle.

“Bills, we need to get her in the shower,” Audrey’s strained voice surprised Billie, but watching her move was what made her react again. Dara was pretty much still a mess, but now she was trying to hide in Billie’s chest with any energy she had left. “You hold her body, I get her legs.”

Watching Dara whine and cry harder just because she seemed to think Billie was leaving her was one of the hardest things she saw. Billie kissed her head and whispered things Audrey couldn’t understand for a solid minute before they managed to lift her joining forces. Dara hissed in pain as soon as Audrey pulled her legs up and Billie looked even more in panic, eyes even more full of unshed tears. But they made it to the ensuite bathroom as fast as they could, which made the suffering end quickly.

“I’ll start the shower, get her out of her clothes and...try to see if she’s more hurt,” Audrey was trying to keep her cool, let Billie handle her wife, by being useful and ease things for them.

“Yeah, I-I’ll...yeah,” her hands were unbuttoning Dara’s shirt when Audrey turned around to give them some privacy, which she always tried to give them even when they were together. “My love, it’s okay, I’m not going anywhere…” ‘My love’ sounded right in Billie’s lips when she directed i to Dara. “There you a-your knees are scraped too...Annie, what happened…”

Dara only sobbed harder with that and when Audrey turned around again, she felt her heart squeeze very tightly inside her ribcage upon seeing Dara like that. Stripped down except for her underwear, she realized then that she wasn’t as full as she used to be, her skin was glistening with sweat and Billie had used her own t-shirt to clean the blood coming out of her nose and out of the scratches in her chest. Did she always had that scar in her left collarbone? Even the scar from the accident in her right hip was even more scary. And all of that as whole made Dara look so...small and vulnerable, that she could understand why Billie was crying finally.

“Billie,” Audrey called out for her and Billie seemed so lost once she managed to look back, so sad, that she had to put her bravest face on to not let away her own fear. “If she has fever, we have to lower it.”

Billie looked then at Audrey with new eyes, her arms tightening around Dara to protect her from anything. 

The uneasiness she was feeling suddenly made sense, the voice talking to her from another side telling her something completely different to what she was hearing in reality. And it was a shock that she totally wasn’t prepared for. How bad she wanted to kiss, to hide, to do anything in her power to take the suffering away from her wife.

“Sweetie,” she felt her body restarting, letting go a ragged breath for a second, her hand cradling Dara’s head against her chest better. “She’s burning up and if we don’t do something, it will go worse.”

“Yeah, we have to,” Billie felt herself nod, only making worse the raging headache she felt building up behind her eyes, and she wasn’t sure how but with Audrey’s help they both lifted Dara again to make her stand in her feet, even when it was clear she couldn’t keep herself standing. “Let’s do it, I got you...we got you.”

Upon saying that, Billie suddenly felt the scent of million roses filling her. Oh, you were always so extra. She felt herself tearing up again and Dara got a new whole wave of sobs, because obviously she was feeling it too. Audrey couldn’t, God blessed her, and she felt more eager to get Dara under the shower just because of that. 

Billie didn’t care her clothes got wet, she just stood there holding her close to her chest and letting her cry. When was the last time she was like that? Not even the breakdown in the morning compared to this one, it wasn’t even similar. And she let her do that, to cry, to be held, to let go of all that; because she deserved it. Trembling as she was, Dara kept mumbling and sobbing what it seemed apologies, and Billie shushed her with all the care in the world.

They would overcome this too, she was sure of it, as they did all those times before...but this time, Billie was going to be the one guiding her love through it.

Once Dara managed to stop trembling and to be separated from her wife, Audrey got her wrapped in a towel, firm arms holding her while Billie took off her clothes and went to retrieve dry ones for both. Asking her in a mere whisper if she could walk, Audrey also managed to make Dara move little by little towards the bed, where she sat her and started to check the superficial scratches she had. Billie left a pair of her own pajamas by Dara’s side before going to retrieve something to patch her wife up, and, along with her best friend, they worked through the tiny injuries before helping Dara to get in new clothes.

“I’ll go get some tea,” Audrey said finally in tiny voice, once Dara was settled under the covers like a crying ball that she still was, and Billie was trying to kiss her tears away. “Do you want something else dear?”

“C-can you stay tonight?” Billie asked right away, looking up at her friend in a way Audrey never saw her before. “I know you have a lot on your plate, even more after these days, and I’m sor-”

But Billie got silent went Audrey walked towards her to kiss her forehead first and then put her hand in Dara’s cheek tenderly. How could she say no when they both had done bigger things for her? How could deny her best friend that, seeing how much she needed a hand with this new situation, when she never asked something in return?

“I’ll do, don’t even apologize,” she said in a whisper before leaving the room. “I’ll also get some hot towels just in case, okay?”

When they were alone, Billie didn’t lose time to get in bed with Dara, who reached for her as soon as she was close to bury her face in her chest once more. She wasn’t sobbing anymore, thankfully, but it was scary how she seemed unable to stop from crying. Billie brushed her wet locks of hair out of her face and kissed her brow with love, kissed anywhere she could to not let her think she was alone.

“I’m sorry I let her go,” Dara cried, her body shaking with a sob that never reached her lips. “I’m sorry Billie, I’m sorry...I had to do something, anything...and now she’s...she’s gone Billie, Nora is gone…”

“Your love took her there,” Billie whispered with the warmth she felt in the back of her neck intensifying because she knew they were being listened. “You healed her, my love, you helped her to finally move on...and that’s nothing to be sorry about.”

Billie knew too many things Dara was completely oblivious of, oh that she knew, too many years holding all the secrets the ghost confided in her. And her last words for her wife were full of those secrets and the truth. 

Maybe one day she would be able to tell everything to Dara, because she was sure Nora wanted her to know eventually; maybe the next morning she would ask for the whole version of what truly happened; maybe Billie would find a way to let Dara go back to the place she loved.

But for the rest of night, once Audrey came back with everything and with her help they kinda sandwiched her wife between them, she was pretty much okay with finally resting of the whole madness that this was.

Rest from all the countdowns that came to an end in two days. Rest from all the doubts and wonderings, rest from ten years of being a total coward.

Rest knowing that, finally, she was free to love Dara as much as she deserved.

[submissivedjberry]

Green Eyes || Jolia

Tagging: DJ Berry & Jo Fabray ( @jofabray )

Date: September 4

Location: Jo’’s Suite

Summary: Jo is jealous of certain events surrounding DJ.

Jo

Jo didn't do jealousy. It was an ugly emotion, and in a relationship where both partners trusted each other it shouldn't ever be necessary. She knew that DJ was hers - hell, the girl was sitting right there beside her - and that she never had to doubt that. But despite her best intentions, there was an ugly flare inside of her at the fact that Lucas was publicly talking about the "soft spot" he had for her girl. The jealousy was doubly stupid because it wasn't as if he could claim DJ even if she agreed; but damned if she didn't feel it all the same. The two of them hadn't had a meal with Benjamin yet and Lucas was busily arranging what felt remarkably like some sort of "meet my submissive's family" meeting. It bothered her, much more than it should have. Setting down her phone, she patted DJ's leg in a comforting motion and got up from the couch, needing to walk around for a few minutes and calm her mind. The mood she was in wasn't fair to her girl, and Jo knew she had to work herself out of it or she was going to ruin the rest of their evening. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, she pressed it to her forehead for a moment and shut her eyes. What she was feeling was stupid and ridiculous, and she hated to feel it at all.

DJ

One thing that DJ loved about spending time with Jo was that they didn't constantly need to be doing something, sometimes it was just nice to sit next to one another as they did their own thing. DJ was reading through a book while Jo messed around on her phone and DJ couldn't be any more content. She loved this Domme and was so excited to be hers, even if it would still take some time until they were ready to actually make that official in the eyes of the law. She knew that she was Jo's and for not that was all that mattered. At the pat to her leg, she glanced up from her book, even as she saw Jo get up and move away. She frowned slightly in response, not knowing what was going on, but able to see the tension in her body. She waited a little while for the Domme to return and when she didn't, she stood and moved into the kitchen. "Domina?" She questioned, eyebrows furrowed slightly.

Jo

DJ's voice startled her out of her own head, and Jo turned with a rueful smile. "I'm sorry, my girl. I just had to clear my head a little. I'm not in the most pleasant place in my head right now, and I wanted to do something about that before you had to deal with it." She gestured for DJ to come closer, and Jo wrapped her arms gently around her. "Sometimes your Domme can be a very silly Domme," she murmured, resting her chin on DJ's shoulder. "You're going to have to forgive her for that, darlin' girl, and I apologize in advance. You shouldn't have to deal with me bein' silly." She hardly wanted to talk about what was going on, but she knew that it would worry DJ unfairly if she didn't. "Can you..." she hesitated. "Can you take a look at Lucas' post for me? I want to see if I'm just completely overreactin' or if you get the same feelin' from it I do."

DJ

When Jo called her closer, DJ made her way over and tucked herself against her Domme, fingers slipping under her shirt to trail along her lower back gently. She didn't know what was going on, but she wanted to help if there was something that she could do to make things even remotely better. She let Jo ramble a little bit about her being silly and being sorry for the fact that she was being silly and she pressed a kiss to her head wherever she could reach. "We can all be silly sometimes. And you've had to deal with me being silly a lot. So I don't mind, my Miss. Is there something that I can do to help? Do you need me to kneel? Do you need to spank me?" She questioned, laying out different options. Her eyebrows furrowed when Jo asked if she could check Lucas' post, wondering what exactly was going on for that to be necessary. "Of course I can, Miss." She pulled her phone out of her pocket and scrolled until she saw what Jo was talking about, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

Jo

Jo considered those options, wondering what might make her feel better. She didn't want to cause DJ unnecessary pain for something that wasn't her fault, especially so soon after the punishment that she'd had to endure. But she also wasn't sure if kneeling would make her feel any better, because she was definitely frustrated and not sure where to channel. it. As DJ looked over the post Jo nearly held her breath, knowing that DJ was either going to think she was very silly or that she had a point, and there was no way to know which it would be. "You're never silly, my girl. At least not in ways that I don't like." She gestured to the phone, worried. "Am I being oversensitive? Or does that seriously not sound like he's your Dom and setting up a meeting with your family? Like I'm sure that I'm being an idiot here, but it just...it bugs me."

DJ

She put her phone away and slipped her arms around Jo's neck, letting her fingers drag lightly against Jo's skin. "It does sound more intimate than I think it should for the platonic relationship that he and I have. And I had no idea that he was asking Benny to come eat breakfast with us. But I'm telling you now that it doesn't matter to me what his intention is. Because I am yours. Always will be. And plus...he can't have a second submissive anyway." She said gently, pressing their foreheads together. "How can I help, Domina?"

Jo

Jo nodded quickly, relieved to hear that she hadn't been acting like a complete lunatic. "I know y'all didn't, my girl, or I know ya would have said something." She leaned into DJ's touch, glad for the simple comfort of fingers against delicate skin. "You're right - I know you're right, Dalia, there's nothin' he could do, I'm just...I don't like him talkin' that way about you. And it's silly of me, because I have never doubted you, or wondered if y'all were mine. Not ever." Jo sighed. What could she do to help? Resting their foreheads together seemed to dull some of the ache in her mind over what she'd read. "Tell me honestly, darlin' girl - how's your ass?"

DJ

She smiled softly when the Domme said that she believed her and she leaned into the touch further. She hummed gently and shook her head. "Still not silly. Unless I'm really silly for not doubting you but still being worried about another sub coming around." DJ bit down on her bottom lip when she asked how her ass was, she thought about it seriously for a moment. "It's still stinging but nothing I can't handle, my Miss. As long as we can stay away from the cane? I really didn't have fun with that at all. It's...good for punishments. But..." She paused to wait and see what the Domme would say about that situation.

Jo

"That's not silly either, my girl. I completely understand that." And DJ did have a point, if she was willing to accept that her girl felt that way why wasn't she willing to accept that she could feel that way? Jo listened carefully, taking in not only what DJ had to say but the way that she said it. "We won't touch the cane outside of punishments, darlin'. That's more pain than I like to dish out in scenes, and it will stay safely away from y'all. I promise." She kissed DJ's forehead softly. "Today's just gonna be with my hand. And then we're gonna do somethin' you wanna do - watch somethin' you'd like to watch, order food, you can kneel with me for a while. Anythin' you like. Because I appreciate you, Dalia. My darlin' girl. For bein' so patient and so understanding with me."

DJ

When Jo said that she understood why DJ would feel that way, she stayed silent in the hope that Jo would see why she didn't have to feel silly. She was content when Jo expressed that the cane would only be for punishments, hoping she wouldn't get it often. Hearing that it would just be with her hand, she smiled softly. "That's okay, Domina. I am happy to be of service. Whatever I can do to help you...I want to do. As long as I'm able." She kissed her cheek gently. "Where do you want me?"

Jo

How Jo had gotten so lucky as to be blessed with DJ as her submissive, she truly didn't know. Compared to many of the more experienced or more public Dominants at the Institute she knew that her range of skills and her appeal wasn't in their league - that she wasn't in their league. But somehow, some way, DJ had chosen her. And despite the urge to look a gift horse in the mouth, Jo did her best to accept her luck without digging too deeply into the source of it. "Thank you, darlin'," she smiled as the kiss lingered on her cheek. "Let's do this on the couch. Let me get sittin', and you can climb into my lap. Just strip off for me first, please." She took a seat and spread her legs a little, providing a base for DJ to lie down over.

DJ

She nodded when Jo thanked her for, offering her a smile. She was very happy to offer some form of a solution. Even if it didn't completely fix everything. "You're welcome, Miss. I'm always happy to help if I can. Even if it's just by getting spanked." DJ expressed honestly. "The couch it is." She moved into the living room and pulled off her clothes. She folded them neatly and then made her way over to Jo. She settled over her lap and bit down on her bottom lip for a brief moment.

Jo

"Even that helps more than you know, darlin' girl. I appreciate everythin' you do for me, whether it's cooking or cleanin' the suite or being spanked, all of the ways that you serve me mean more than you know. And I am so proud that you're my girl." She couldn't wait until the day they could make that official, but for now they both knew it and that was enough. "Darlin'," she murmured as DJ took up position over her lap. "This is not a punishment. You will always know the difference. You're my girl. My good girl." She took a slow breath. "I'm going to give y'all ten on each side. No need to count, or thank me, y'all just have to stay where you are."

DJ

She nodded her head when Jo said that she would know when she was being punished and hummed softly. "I understand that I'm not being punished, Miss. And I'll stay still for you." The hand shouldn't be too bad, especially not compared to the cane; but her ass was still a bit sore and that left her just a tad bit weary. But she knew that Jo would stop if she needed her too and that meant that other than her hands, her body was relaxed and prepared for the first spank.

Jo

"Thank you, darlin' girl." Jo took a deep breath, knowing what she was about to do had to be done with a steady hand. Her frustration was not anger at DJ, nor was this spanking meant to be aggressive. It was a way to work out her feelings, no more and no less. The welts from the cane, still healing, needed to be avoided and each spank had to be precise. With all of that in mind Jo brought her hand down, five times on each side in mechanical motions that allowed her to feel some satisfaction without causing further harm. "Halfway there. Breathe for me, my girl."

DJ

She took a deep breath, steadying herself when Jo told her to breath and relax. It really wasn't that bad. Taim compared to the punishment she had warrented a few days before, but it still stung. "I'm okay, Miss. Ready when you are." She assured her Domme, not wanting her to feel as though she couldn't continue. DJ was alright and the next ten wouldn't change that. Plus, she was in some way the reason that Jo was so uncomfortable, so it felt right that she was taking the spanking.

Jo

"Good girl," Jo praised. She took another beat to steady herself and brought her hand down for the remainder of the spanking, rubbing DJ's reddened skin gently after the last. "Thank y'all for takin' that so well, DJ. I think I needed that more than I realized. You're so good to me - so good for me, and I don't deserve you one single bit." Running her fingers through dark hair, she scratched at the girl's scalp. "Let's go get somethin' on that skin, just to be safe, and then y'all can decide what your reward should be for bein' my good girl."

DJ

When the spanking came to an end, she let out a soft breath and nuzzled against her Domme's lap. The feeling of fingers scratching along her scalp let a soft moan fall from her lips. She was glad that Jo let her rest there for a moment, reminding herself she hadn't done anything wrong, that all it was was a way to serve and help her Dominant. She eventually pulled up and kissed the blonde before moving into a different position so that Jo could grab the cream for her ass.

Jo

Jo stood, feeling much more steady in herself and in her relationship than she had when she first read Lucas' message, and took DJ's hand to lead her into the bedroom. "Y'all know what I need better than I do, my girl. And I could never tell you how much it means to me." She laid her down on the bed face down and moved into the bathroom to find the cream before returning to the bed. "This shouldn't be too bad, darlin' girl, but we'll get a little on everywhere and hopefully it'll help healing of your welts and everythin' too. I'll be quick, I promise."

[memoirsofafuneralhousemouse]

Magnus 164 Live Blogging. Spoilers ahead, so tread carefully:

4 minutes in and I, a person with chronic eczema and (very mild, mind you) excoriation disorder, should probably NOT be listening to this.

I am absolutely going to keep listening to this.

I mean I'm not triggered yet and I survived Jane Prentiss and her worms so how bad can this be?

Besides I already trimmed my nails yesterday so no harm will be done today that wasn't done last week.

The flies are SENDING ME. I'm so mad I THOUGHT ANOTHER FLY HAD BARGED INTO MY ROOM BUT IT WAS THE SOUNDSCAPE.

I hate you, Alexander J. Newall.

The villagers are all xenophobic send post.

Jon: "Tiphoid Mary..."

Me: I UNDERSTOOD THAT REFERENCE! :D

Me: Oh wait I'm supposed to be serious this is a serious podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and liscenced under a Creative Commons attribution share-alike 4.0 international liscence

Jonny Sims really is out there saying fuck bigot and racist lives and commit arson huh.

Pick your fighter: The girl peeling herself alive with a razos vs. me scratching my itchy leg with my feel because I'm too busy typing this with my hands to free them.

Don't worry I cannot hurt myself it's already bandaged and I put jeans on :) but fuck that xenophobic asshole though.

This is gross and I want to puke thank God I did not eat anything before this.

Telling on your neighbours for being "infected" or not "pure enough"... Shoa vibes? Shoa vibes.

Seriously THE FLIES. I. Hate. The. Flies.

I understand why Martin yeets himself into the Lonely in order NOT to hear this. Damn you Jonathan.

Did Rotten Girl's pussy just POP out of her containment hazmat suit? Maybe so.

My hair tie just bursted as Jon ended the recording and the hair I so dutifully kept in my manbun covered my eyes and I SCREAMED because damnit this was a new hair tie but also fuck you Jonny.

God he brings the rest of us down.

Thank God is over.

"YOUR GUIDEBOOK" Martin I love you please don't die.

"It's infectious" this is so sad Beholding play Toxic by Britney Spears.

Martin: How much can you See?

Jon: They're taking the hobits to Isengard.

Jonapedia is my favourite thing out of this season I need to get the App on my phone for work.

JON BEING SO OFFENDED BY MARTIN LYING ABOUT HIS MIDDLE NAME BABY NO HE DOES HAVE ONE HIS NAME IS MARTIN POTASSIUM BLACKWOOD.

Martin Klaus Blackwood?

Martin Krispie Blackwood.

Martin Krystal Blackwood.

Martin Kahoots Blackwood.

Martin... I can't think of anything else.

Basira is HUNTING.

Basira is HUNTING?!?!

Jonapedia is being WILD this episode. GO OFF KING! 👏

Wait what do you mean you don't KNOW?!

Your only JOB is to KNOW things Jon that's what you DO.

You DRINK (not!tea) and you KNOW things what ELSE is your PURPOSE then you SOGGY SOCK.

"How is he?" Martin baby WHY.

Jon can't see inside of Sauron which I guess deserves a "sike"? I don't know I can't think of a meme for this I am brain dead right now.

My god these bitches married! Good for them. Good for them.

Jon can't See Anabelle Cane because her Big Dick Energy is really just that Big.

"What "was" London." Bro you don't have to pretend. We all know London is awful, Fearpocalypse or not.

Jon's wow I can't even he's cute (in a rat kind of way).

MARRIED.

"Well go slow for a while."

Me: *Insert Cat Crying meme*

So... y'all gonna use Helen's door as an Uber? Or...

Don't MISNAME HELEN YOU HEATHEN

"Crazy kids" he eats rum and raisin ice cream Helen he is 80.

"Brave New World" is a book that severely traumatised me in high school. Thank you Jonathan once again you are a beacon of fear in all the unexpected and ludicrous ways possible.

"All I did was refuse to help." In which I am an Avatar of the Distortion, apparently.

Helen being homophobic is really turning me on I'm sorry Imogen Harris I swear I'm a good person I swear–

Martin DON'T tell on Jon like this you traitor! You meanie! You little piece of gummy bear I can't be MEAN to Martin I physically CAN'T.

Jon is too OP to go into the Distortion. I have to laugh.

Helen really went both "I hate gay people" and "god I love these homo bitches" in this episode huh

Jon stop denying your adorableness you Know there's a lot of thirsty people out there who are incredibly turned on by crusty mediocre looking men who are prematurely graying and look like they haven't slept in a week.

Which is a good thing because I am one of those gremlin people who are prematurely graying and I think it's very sexy of me to be considered attractive or adorable by someone else.

I need a Martin in my life.

God I'm lonely.

My hair's in my eyes I can't take this anymore.

"Cruel, viscious monster"... sounds like Wife Material to me.

That's IT?! Is that ALL?! JONATHAN IS THAT ALL??? IS THAT ALL THERE IS FOR THIS WEEK??? JONATHAN I'M STARVING YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME?!?! J O N A T H A N

Very good episode. I like the gay people. 6/10 because the statement was absolutely disgusting but I can take it if it means I get to hear Martin.

[pinkpoundcake]

DESERT DEVIL

CH. 1 THE HISS

All Might/ Reader as Female OC

NSFW AU ( Yes there’s smut)

4k+ words

Here’s the first chapter of something I’ve been working on during off time at school. I like writing drastically different AUs, because they give me a lot liberties. I intend for this to be a short series, so maybe two or three more chapters after this one. Hope ya enjoy if you read! 

I’m not sure if FF.net will allow second person, so I’m posting it here. I aint got no AO3. I also apologize for any mistakes! I’ll go back an’ fix as I see em. 

EDIT: Went back and fixed some things. Also, I changed the category of this fic. I’m warning the reader that you’re an OC! Kinda like you’re a preset character in a dating sim? If that makes any sense. Those be my only terms of free service. 

I.

Dusk had gone and night finally draped over the still view of the valley. You were a silly girl, really. No one in their right mind would pick now of all times to draw water from one of the wells. Maybe once upon a time they would have. It wasn't impractical to wait until the sun stopped cracking its infernal whip to get things done, but once upon a time, the valley had nothing to fear.

II.

You were walking quickly. You kept your wooly head low as you neared the crudely built structure. Only one bucket of water. No one would mind. You just couldn't go to bed with a clear conscience without finally giving your poor, overworked horse something to drink. You'd take the risk, because glory knows you hated having cottonmouth. It was cottonmouth season...all year round it felt, except for the few praise inducing weeks the sky would show mercy and weep. Dry mouth, dry eyes, dry coat, dry everything. Such is the way of the desert.

You gave your heavy water bag a hard yank to make sure it was sealed before you hightailed it back to your plot. The locust had stopped gossiping in the weeds, and it was making you nervous.

III.

You were the sort of gal who liked to blend in, but your talents made that hard. You had an ability, A Gift, as folks liked to call these sorts of things, that made you incredibly valuable for trade.

You engaged in it as well, because you had to, to get along, but it made you an easy volun-telling target for other croppers and craftsmen and all manners of citizens with business

“Could you chat with this fellow for me? He speaks...sumfin’. The hell if I know. He owes me money.”

“Tell that eastern cheapskate I won't go any lower on price!”

“Hey, goat girl, tell the front counter dame in the Apothecary she's welcome in my bunk any time of day~”

First of all, you were a sheep. Second of all...fine.

IV.

Your Gift was nice for the most part. You had your own upper hand when it came to sale. You could understand anyone, no matter the spoken language. Absolutely essential for such an oddly diverse patch of scorched Earth. You could even help filter a speaker to an entire audience if you held their hand. You didn't like to advertise that though, otherwise the mayor and sheriff and whoever else, would be breathing down your neck even more than they did now.

If no one around knew you, then they usually assumed your appearance was all there was to your Gift. So, what you loved most was eavesdropping. Conversations were mostly mundane in other languages. That's how talking worked, but there were days when you were served some pretty interesting dirt or juicy news by unknowing hosts.

They're going to start rationing water tomorrow. Some serious limits, I reckon.

I didn't think it would be this bad this year?! It rained just enough in the early season, didn't it? I wonder where it all goes.

You wonder the same. It gets worse and worse every year. Every year it's a point of serious tension. They don't call this valley Struggler for nothing. Struggling was this town's first, middle, and last time. Maybe it's old maiden name, too.

The commonality is, is that if you made it halfway through the desert, you stopped in this crowded, little town and clung to it for dear life. You personally knew what it was like. Everyone knew what it was like, to fear that you weren't going to make it to The Oasis at the end of your journey. After the promenade that chewed you up, and spat you out, you don't even try.

We don't have enough water for all the people we keep letting stay here!

But what kind of person could keep a cold heart here? What would it take to let someone waste away elsewhere, or worse, face the beast this desert had to offer.

The Hiss.

More chilling than a rattlesnake's warning.

V.

This broad blue sky. The hard clay and sand beneath his form, the cacti, the dry bones and evaporated watering holes. Every scavenger to circle overhead belonged to him.

The hard, hot wind. The mirages that danced in nauseating ribbons. They were his. He could lift his head, and think about howling to his old lovers, the stars, if he still had the singing voice. But he lost that a long time ago with one of his lungs.  He was getting old, too, but his bloodlust was getting stronger every year, along with a lot of puzzling urges.

He hated that he could only claim his seared kingdom at night, but it couldn't be helped. He was a partial coward who couldn't hope to understand himself. He still had a deep sense of decency. He was a hypocrite, in a sense. He didn't want to be a bother during the day, if he was such a big bother at night. But being a menace at night was to be a nuisance in the day, regardless.

And nuisance was...too light of a word. Far too light. Crows in his sunflowers were nuisances. Locust in his house were nuisances.

Him?

Oh, he was

VI.

“A killer...A fuckin’ killer!”

You watched as the town sheriff swore and covered the body of a, now former, foreman with a bit of canvas. Splotches of blood bloomed in the fabric over the inclines of the older man's face. From what you saw, he was mauled real good. Or...bad. A big bite right out of his jugular, clavicle, and most of his left shoulder. You weren't the only sick one in the crowd. You would have upchucked your breakfast if this wasn't something you were becoming accustomed to.

First it was Mr. Dandy, gnawed out chest, who used to rally up hunting parties with the German twins who could shoot right out of their fingers, no guns needed. Then it was Eclair, you didn't know her last name, who sold pungent perfume from her own sweat out of her tacky little shop. Y'all never found her head. Big Cat Capri from Cameroon, was torn in two. Though he was a menace with a forgettable Gift that wasn't much missed. Then there was another fellow. Japanese you think, but actually he was still limping around somewhere.

The only one to see The Beast and live… The fella's pretty busted up as far as you know.

Anyway, time for another funeral.

VII.

Speaking of that old Japanese fellow…

You didn't give him much of a glance at any given day, but you could see him  out of the corner of your squared pupils, watching you hand off chunks of unwashed wool to craftsmen who were probably going to fashion saddles or boots. It wasn't quite the right time to start plucking from your melon patch, or any of the desert dates, so you were selling off some old stock of your hair. Everyone knew it was your hair, and no one really cared.

God, you couldn't recall his name. You've never actually heard him speak, but the fella always sat at the posts near the trading square and just watched the street; waiting for someone with their hands full to need help lacing up their boots. Or for someone's goat to go astray so he could bring it back to them. Or to help some kid out on errands tether their family horse. You wonder why he would go through those little efforts on a limp. He walked with a cane, bright red like a dragon, with a yellowing cattle horn handle. He wore a big brimmed, leather hat so that he didn't catch perpetual sunburn, thick slacks, a poor fitting button up that used to be white, and strapped riding boots, too, but no spurs.

He was a strange sight, you noted with slight nervousness as he stood, and then made his way over to your shabby booth. He was a tall, tall, tall fella. Tall and skinny, like he didn't fancy eating much. You knew a couple of people who were like that. He had wild, blonde hair, he obviously didn't comb. And honestly, he had the prettiest blue eyes. At least you assumed they were. He was swallow enough that his eyes were sunk deep beneath his brow, but that blue struck out like an aimed double barrel. It made you wonder what he looked like when he was a colt.

“Afternoon, sir,” You cleared your throat. You watched his face to gauge how much he understood you. You didn't want to be rude. “No food. Just some wool today.”

The older man, squinted, seemingly thinking, and then gestured to your freshly sheared head with the handle of his cane.

“It's all mine, yes.” You laughed and scratched one of your horns to release some of your anxiousness.

“How...How much for it?” His accent was somewhat thick, but you were happy you wouldn't have to reach out and grab one of his massive hands to get on some equal ground.

“Five pieces for a small bundle. Ten for the big bundles there.” You watched the fellow consider which size, and then finally he made a decision. Slowly he lifted one of the large cottony wads, and then absentmindedly brought it to his nose. He gently inhaled the intriguing scent there.

You stared, perplexed, and confused. He seemed to pick up on your confusion, and righted himself. He gave you his own awkward smile, almost an apology for…whatever that was. He counted out ten small pieces for you, politely dipped his head with a thank you, and then moseyed along.

Strange…

VIII.

He was drunk. Absolutely drunk, and he'd never had a drop of liquor in his life. Tequila couldn't have been stronger than this. Your scent, your scent was so...He didn't know.

Good.

It made him hungry for things he'd forgotten the name of, forgotten how to describe. He didn't know what he was doing alone in the shack he called his home. Hiding his shame maybe. He'd locked the door with the big expensive chains and padlocks ( that were decor at this point) from the top shelf hours ago as night began to fall. He was paranoid, and feeling ravenous for a completely different, mysterious reason from what he was used to.

He held your wool in one hand, pressing it flush to his nose as he paced from one side of his home to the other. The misaligned floor groaned and weazed beneath his heavy, bare footsteps. His shadow, flickered from a candle or two, and swept the peach papered walls like a dark, lumbering menace.

What was it that he wanted now?!

He didn't understand himself anymore! There was no one to teach him his purpose.

He inhaled again, deep. His exhale emerged with a low rumble.  It rattled the chains strapping the front and back door, and shifted the glass in the kitchen window.

It was happening again much too soon.

There used to be a time when he could command the other half of himself. Where he could be whoever he wanted, whenever, but now he was stripped to nothing but incomprehensible impulses.

His wrath. His hunger. His pride.

Something new. His lust.

IX.

You just finished putting the blanket on Kissy, your horse, when the stars began to rub the long day from their eyes and glint down at you. Though still warm, the wind rolled over your fuzzy scalp and settled in the cooling sweat beneath your dark hide. You rubbed your arms, figuring you could use a blanket, too. Your draft's loud chewing in the stable cover was a calming background noise as it mingled with your thoughts. The flat distance, with it's mountainous levels was a pretty sight, despite being empty.

You've always wanted to roam at night, finally figure out what that fabled Oasis was on the other side of hell. You hoped it was heaven, or something close.  You wanted to explore more than your town, to see what was out there while the sun wasn't scheduling your funeral. You were bored of being too scared. Stressed with not having enough of the bare minimum essentials. Lonely, too. Kissy kept you company, maybe, but he wasn't all that good with conversation or cooking.

He wasn't good at stopping you from taking 'walks’ either. You found all sorts of excuses for yourself to roam at night. Kissy needed more water, or you needed to find some wild aloe for a wound, or you needed to find sand grubs for your greedy gossip of chickens.

Excuses, excuses.

Mr. Aizawa, was another Japanese fellow (you think), who wasn't the sheriff, but probably could have been. He'd tell you you were full of excuses. The town had a curfew of sorts to 'keep people safe’. Under what authority this curfew came from, you had no clue. If you were caught, the runner up sheriff hogg tied you with a lasso and a warning, and dragged your sorry, law breaking ass back home. Or fined you. Something like that.

He had an annoying Gift that kept others from using their Gifts to get away. You didn't know how he did it. Much to what was probably Deputy Aizawa's disdain, he was plucked out of the crowd the day he arrived. He had a scruffy grifter appearance, but the fellow was awfully strict, perfectly bilingual in relation to you, and knew  exactly what your own Gift entailed, so you couldn't pretend you didn't understand any of his honorary demands.

You didn't even give yourself a chance to consider he might be out and about on patrol. You didn't even consider where the hell you were going. All you knew was that you were:

Literally and figuratively hard headed.

And

Dumb as rocks because it was half past night noon, and anywhere beyond the aloe thicket was Hiss county.

The danger zone.

X.

A scent was a scent was a scent. Something to follow to a target. His prey were rotten. He caught the next foul stench on the hit list floating on the western wind. It filled his flared nostrils and made his mouth water with anticipation. His long, thick fingers were still raw and full of splinters from clawing his way out from his pathetic attempts at shutting himself in.

The night was a blur. He was unbothered by the grit he kicked up in his full run. Adrenaline pumped in his veins with the incredible accumulation of power that drove him. There was a roar in his ears. Something he rushed by sliced him; thin little scratches in several places, but he didn't notice. His heart thrashed beneath his ribs as he sensed himself drawing closer and closer.

Wait.

Suddenly, he came to a halt, giving the surrounding weeds severe whiplash.

Everything aside from his heart and his laboured breathing were still. Not a sound from any creature. Nothing was brave enough to disturb him.

There was something... something else on the wind he wanted much, much more that seemed to be coming from the same direction.

XI.

The last thing you wanted to hear was a voice while you were trying to be sneaky. You kept your body low and tucked your tail close to the full round of your bottom. It was going so nicely, your 'stroll’. You were going to take some notes in one of your books, maybe stuff some natural souvenirs in your pocket, and then head back home.

You held still for a while and used a few big, healthy stragglers of agave as your cover. You were hearing the voice again, now two voices. You didn't know what dialect they were speaking, so you closed your eyes, and used your Gift.

He's been shelling out a lot for this reroute. Keeping a lot of people's mouths shut. It's gonna be a lot harder to get this done without the foreman.

Yeah, I thought that, too. It's strange. I'm sorta...spooked. Mr. Dandy and now him. You’d think this whole thing was cursed.

Or someone knows…

They looked mauled, couldn't have been some poor bastard with a pistol.  What do they call the thing that's been chewing people up?

Depends on who you talk to. Yok... something. Yokay? Yokai? Chupacabra, though it's not gettin’ goats, that's for sure. Werewolf. Howler. Beast. Plain old monster.

I just hope it's a coincidence. I don't want to be next…

Now...what in the world we're these fellers talking about? You frowned while quietly slinking around to another perch. You watched your footing and hoped they would talk more, but now they were getting further and further away. Headed…somewhere.

Somewhere you kept your eye on. Might want to check it out next time you take a stroll.

XII.

The air pressure flipped like a coin  and cut through your moment of reprieve.

Bullseye.

You were so shocked you couldn't even scream. It was caught in your throat with a pinch of desert sand. Something massive and unyielding and menacing had ripped the ground from beneath your feet.

The sky was spinning round and round as the earth teetered wild on its axis. The moon was mocking you. The stars cackled as they danced, blurry streams trailing like faded candle lights behind them.

There was a black patch of sky that didn’t budge, and it only held two stars far above that didn't move either. Because they weren't stars,

they were vivid blue eyes.

XIII.

This was it. This was how you were going to die.

You were already nauseous from hitting you head, and now you were nauseous from hitting reality. You couldn't make a sound, could hardly breathe. Your throat burned like a shot of fireball. Your eyes were wide as you tried to make out the Beast's form. It was hard, with hot tears in your eyes, now shrouding the moon’s pale light. You could hear him, though, the hiss of death. It was high pitched, akin to the sizzle of a hot brand.

Would it have ripping fangs when it bit you? We're those its claws digging into your ankles as it dragged you elsewhere? You were in a bit of pain, and you could sense the stickiness of blood on your back, but you were mentally preparing yourself for a lot more. Images of the sheriff draping canvas over your mangled body caused you to wretch.

You were so stupid!!!!! SO GODDAMN STUPID. HOW COULD YOU PUT YOURSELF IN THIS SITUATION? NO WEAPON. NO NOTHING.  THIS IS WHAT YOU GET. HOW COULD YOU-

It stopped.

You stopped.

Confusion boxed you good over the ears.

You were staring up into the face of a man now, and he was staring right back at you.

Your confusion subsided into renewed fear. He was just a man, but the most unnaturally large man you had ever seen. Large was the wrong word. He was...immaculate. A threadbare shirt was struggling to hold itself together as his massive chest flexed. He had a heavily shadowed face and unreadable, though somewhat tense expression. His golden hair stood upright on his forehead head, like a red bat's ears or jack rabbit. Pure, wild, chaotic energy wafted from the heat of his skin. He shifted slightly while sizing you, and your eyes darted to the massive, bear paw of a calloused hand on the other side of your head.

He could sneeze and snap your neck. You believed he could tear a man in two. Oh God in heaven, he did! And you were next!

The Beast made a sudden movement, and you shut your eyes. You clenched everything from your horned head, to your cleft, hooven toes, and waited.

You had no choice but to hold your breath as his big, otherworldly body pressed into yours. It felt like being pressed between something more solid than a rock, and a really hard place. His breath, that you realized was rushed, cooly ghosted your forehead. Was he going to take your noggin like Eclair and mount it over his fireplace?

Greedily, he was drinking in your scent. So much stronger, so much better right from the source. He had to sample more of you. Sip you. Lap you up.

Where was it?! Where was more?!

You didn't think you could tense beyond how much you were tensed now, but you did as his nose left your head to wedge its way up into your neck. You felt the unnatural rumble of his voice in the hollows of your bones, filling your throat and chest. You prepared for hard, life ending bites, but all you received we're moderately painful nips and what could only be described as sloppy kisses. He received the sensation of kissing your fur with intrigue and almost groomed it with a big, wide tongue.

You didn't know what to say, or what to do. He hadn't said a word. You didn't know if the brute mounting you was really human, or …Something. Was all of this even real? Or were you home, wet dreaming about a good rut in your bunk again?

He needed more! More! More! More! Where was more of you?!

He left you one last bite on your shoulder that you were ashamed made you bellow out like the animal you were similar to. You slapped a hand over your mouth, but it was too late, the sound excited him. His nose grazed you, his rapid breaths through his nose like the pumping steam from a piston, a panting dog, frantically looking for more of your tastes and smells. Your clothes were in his way, but he didn't have the patience or current cognition to remove them.

He rubbed his cheeks against your generous chest, nipped your stomach through your tattered apron, and then zipped straight to your crotch. You were shocked as he unashamedly, obliviously, pressed his face there and very audibly inhaled. There was another rumble, loud enough to buzz through your entire body.

“A-Ah!” You cried out. The sharp, pleasurable tingle and sting from his deep voice, the pressure from his cheeks, and the heat of his breath was sudden. You were so…you were…

You could end this year's drought right here, right now.

You bit your lip, desperately wanting to access the situation. To think! To sort out what in the HELL was happening, but he had ripped through your overalls with his teeth and was lapping at your plump pussy through your knickers. He'd sniffed out the wetness that had slickened the fabric and was eager to taste. You moved closer and hissed out a pathetic Yeeessss!

Whimpering, you tried to push yourself up on your elbows. Your shoulders hit some hard, cool clay and the back of your head scraped more of the rough rock there. He was suckling like a thirsty calf, drawing the fabric of your knickers into the heat of his mouth along with your long, throbbing clit beneath. The suction was strong, unrelenting, almost painful.

“H-hey, hey! Easy, partner!” Your thighs  involuntarily snapped around his head, but he was undeterred. You shoved your hands against his brow, trying to get him to release.

“Please!” You were relieved when he finally did, but it was only for some adjustments. The brute drew his hands beneath your legs and dragged you further into the shadow so he could keep his meal all to himself.

His mouth attacked you again and you wriggled and writhed. Your own breath matched his labored huffs. You bit chunks out of your sense of morality while you bit your lip. With a shaking hand, you brought your clawed fingers to your crotch. His thick tongue grazed your knuckles as you worked to tug the fabric aside and reveal your dark, generous lips, and generously engorged clit beneath. He immediately took what you revealed to him, going from hungry to downright glutenous. You couldn't tell if the additional wetness you felt was from your own cyprine or slobber on his chin.

XIV.

“GOD!! Who are you?! What is your name?” Now was not the time to be asking these sorts of questions, but again, you did say you were a silly woman. You gritted your teeth to attempt to contain your cries. He didn't respond at first. The only reply for several deliciously, agonizing moments was the thick, slurping sound of his attention between your legs. This stranger, no demon,  was trying to shove his tongue as far up your womanhood as he could, and at this point, he had your loud, keening permission.

“AH! AHH!” Your slapped the hand that wasn't buried in his hair over your mouth again. You couldn't contain yourself. You'd never felt something like this before. You were a maiden who could only daydream, and you weren't sure if you could consider this that, or a nightmare.

“I said!” Your voice cracked and your back arched from the ground as you racketed up to an orgasm. Your voice was weary and hoarse. You were shrieking “what is your name?!”

He still had yet to respond, but if he chose now, you wouldn't have heard him. You came for the first time in your little life ( bless your heart); your mouth stretched wide open, waiting to catch flies. But all you caught was a big, wet kiss.

You could taste yourself. Taste his breath. Your legs were shaking. You were high like you'd been huffing gasoline, so you didn't put up a fight when he lifted you to his chest.

Someone was coming…

He had to take you elsewhere.

The open night sky. The owl judging you both from the whole it ate out a cactus. The earth beneath his feet. The howl of the wind as he ran and you both became a blur.

And you, clinging to his chest:

Belonged to him.

--

Chapter 1 End

[itsjesperfahey]

modern soc au

inej: 

loves to dance !!! esp ballet but she can dance to whatever tbfh, she’s that good 

likes to wear caps, esp backwards. really loves bomber jackets too. 

has a couple, small tattoos dedicated to her saints 

is that one kid who loves to do parkour (both ironically and unironically) for instance is really good at it but sometimes just yells PARKOUR and steps over a rock

usually found eating lunch with her pals on the roof of the school 

is amazing at hide and seek like holy fuck ????? hid for 2 hours once and wasn’t found, came back the next day and was like “y'all losers SUCK" 

loves to study other people’s cultures, as well as history and is great as p.e (never has gotten a bad grade in the flexibility tests) 

likes to read poem books 

has a black cat as a pet named "saint" 

pronounced meme as "mehmeh” the first time she read it 

only has snapchat and instagram. is that kid who ALWAYS posts the sunset every day, esp from weird/high places and the comments are always “HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET UP THERE" 

cried the most during fox and the hound 

always braiding nina’s hair. Knows how to do all the super advanced onces as well

"I don’t know, CAN YOU?" 

 the best one at pushing people on the swings 

AMAZING AT JUST DANCE WITH JESPER 

"sorry I ran out of fucks to give try again later maybe?" 

gives the nicest presents. always knows what a person wants for christmas/their birthday 

the one who’s really into photography and is always taking aesthetic™ pics of Nina for her social media accounts 

Prefers tea over coffee

wylan:

bullied for not being able to read (at least up until high school), so is super shy 

loves drawing. the artistic™ one who takes anatomy to be able to draw people better 

MASTER FLUTE MUSICIAN. On the school band. Jams hard af when he plays it 

is in gem math and AP chem with kuwei. 

loves sweet. addicted to blue jolly ranchers. his tongue is always blue 

constantly pushing up his thick rimmed glasses (even if they ain’t on, which causes him to poke his eye)

looooves all the superhero shows on the CW 

V neck sweaters. always

always has his trusty satchel

only has tumblr. has like 10k followers because of his artwork. 

”‘illuminati’ ? is that a band?“ 

cat person even though he’s allergic to cat fur. absolutely adores inej’s cat. settles for owning a horned lizard named "shrek" 

secretly a huge fan of memes 

really gay for tom holland and ed sheeran (calls him "ginger Jesus”) 

gamer with jesper. they always play overwatch together, wylans better tho. a genji and Ana main 

cried the most during big hero six 

wylan, with blank eyes: “I like my coffee how I like my men” // jesper: *spits out his drink* 

matthias: 

sports fan obv. On the schools hockey team bc his fav is hockey. is extremely competitive when he plays it. Is constantly checking but never gets penalties (aka slamming the other players against the walls)

played basketball against jesper and surprisingly lost. jesper won’t let it go 

dog person. owns a pet pomsky (Pomeranian-husky) with nina who’s name is “bub" 

“long hair don’t care”draws inspiration from Harry styles 

really philosophical. takes all the philosophy/ethics classes available 

kind of sounds like Thor (thick and deep accent) 

a good™

"you’re all horrible trash”

“do we really have to be doing this now? I have to finish my homework" 

loves baking. bakes everything for the love of his life 

grey sweatshirts and adidas shoes 

wears contacts Because he hates how glasses look on him. only wears them when he’s home 

oblivious to all the women in love with him

"CAN YOU EVEN LIFT BRO? BECAUSE I SURE AS FRICK CAN” (doesn’t curse) 

real 👍🏻🤘🏻👌🏻life🤰🏻👼🏻🌱student📚✂️✏️athelete🏃🏼🥇🏆🥅🏒

has Facebook and Twitter only

cried the most during bambi and dumbo 

little spoon™ 

has a couple tattoos with very deep meanings

jesper: 

dancer with inej. dances like those ppl who look like robots ??? the ones who look like they freeze parts of their body while the others move. AMAZING at it 

loves jazz but also dubstep/edm and rap/r&b. Beyoncé is MOM/QUEEN. 

sometimes djs parties 

again, huge gamer with wylan. he’s a lucio and junkrat main for overwatch. loves like every video game ever 

loves all the marvel movies, in love with black panther (was team cap) 

dresses like a hipster but also sometimes a fuck boy (tank tops and shorts with a backwards cap style) 

favorite subject is business and debate. great negotiator 

cried the most during the lion king 

A+ cosplayer (especially his lucio cosplay) 

big supporter of human rights (LGBTA+, feminist, black lives matter, poc representation). Will LITERALLY get into fights over anyone who thinks otherwise. Fist fights, always supported by Kaz and Matthias. Got suspended for 3 days for breaking a kids nose who thought LGBTA+ people should **** ** ****) 

that one kid who has 50 fidget spinners and can do cool tricks with them. also manages to sell all of them 

skateboard pro™ 

always sends the blinking face meme, even if it’s out of context 

all the social medias. 

one tattoo only of a gun with a 'bang’ flag coming out of it 

nina: 

 PROFESSIONAL👏🏻 MAKE 👏🏻 UP 👏🏻 ARTISTS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 HAS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF FOLLOWERS ON HER INSTAGRAM AND THE SAME FOR HER YOUTUBE CHANNEL 

Speaking of YouTube, she always does cute videos. Baking/cooking tutorial videos featuring Matthias, 'i do my boyfriends makeup’, 'my boyfriend does my makeup’, 'my boyfriend buys my makeup’, does make up tutorials obviously, challenges with her best friend inej like the 'whisper challenge’. everyone loves her and says her and Matthias are their otp 

loves fashion design, takes that class. 

loves horror movies/creepy things but also Disney 

great at roller skating 

always wins the best dressed awards ad school 

also huge fan of ed sheeran. loves little mix more than 5h. 

cried the most during 'up' 

Can speak like 4 languages (English, french, Latin and spanish) 

loves traveling and learning about new cultures too 

dancer!inej’s biggest fan and hockey!matthias’ biggest fan 

always breaks snapchat streaks 

likes to (friendly) debate with jesper, especially over stupid things 

amazing with kids. babysits all the time. calls “bub” (the dog) her and matthias’ baby 

big spoon™ 

notes are so fucking pretty. buys the most expensive stationary and notebooks 

also huge supporter of human rights. runs the feminist club. (Jesper is the Vice President) stresses loving yourself and your body, and makes sure to design comfortable yet GORGEOUS clothes for “"plus sized people”“ 

wins 'dynamic duo’ award with inej 

always eating lollipops 

has a few very small tatos of cute things like roses and crowns. has one quote written in cursive on her rib

kaz: 

prefers black coffee as well 

loves crime shows, whether they’re real or fake. for instance loves both 'Dateline’ and 'Criminal Minds’ also loves 'House’

 favorite class is psychology, learning how a person thinks and acts and feels

has the dregs tattoo on his arm * edge lord 9000™ * such a drama queen and diva like damn 

*deep sigh* "I think I’d rather go take a nap” *gets up and leaves* 

also loves computer science. knows how to hack shit like a pro 

always rough housing with jesper. broke a table once 

does walk with a cane. likes to slap matthias’ ass with it 

“bow down you fucking peasants" 

only types in lower case with 0 emojis and no punctuation marks. CONSTANTLY leaves people on read 

only has Twitter and snapchat. His posts on snapchat never have captions, yet somehow has a 200 day streak with Jesper and a 250 day streak with inej 

loves watching horror movies with nina 

 *in a fight* "oh I’ll sHOW YOU SOME DIRTY HANDS” *swings* 

gets second place for best dressed award 

always sending memes with no context in their group chat, as well as vines 

indie and alternative rock fan 

“does it look like I care because I’m sorry if it does I didn’t mean to give you that impression" 

head over heels for inej Ghafa like wow 

likes to read a lot of mystery books and non fiction books 

cried the most during finding dory 

can solve a Rubik’s cube under a minute and won’t let you forget it 

The one asshole who picks either Kirby or metaknight in super smash brothers brawl

 hates seeing the notification bubble so he always has all chats muted and notifications turned off for apps 

kiss ass to all the teachers to get them A’s

Kuwei: 

SCIENCE NERD. ALWAYS singing the bill nye theme song. Loves ASAPScience on YouTube. Master at chemistry and biology 

"hey did u know bill nye is, like, my dad" 

nina treats him like a baby 

loves everything to do with Star Wars while wylan loves star trek more. Fighting ensues. 

has a pet Siamese cat name sparky 

Used to have a huge crush on jesper and everyone knew it except jesper. 

knows the intro to the bee movie ("according to all known laws of aviation-”)

 jesper in the group chat: “gonna go shower be right back” // kuwei: “without me ;)?” // wylan: “KUWEI SWEAR TO FUCK” // kaz: “watch your fucking language wylan" 

obsessed with Pokémon go even if it died out (chose team instinct) 

"fight me on this" 

has Twitter, snapchat and instagram 

Always drinking ginger ale 

master at bop it 

the one kid who always forgets to pay you back for stuff 

is also into the CW super hero shows, so him and wylan are constantly talking about it 

loves cartoons and anime 

speaks fluent fuckboy 

God awful at comebacks 

"let’s take a selfie guys !!!” // “kuwei no-” // *snapshot sound* 

talks !!! Like !! This !!!! for,,, some reason ???????? 

huge nerd for other things too like lord of the rings and Harry Potter and game of thrones 

cried the most during inside out

 "do you think planes are scared of heights?“ // "for fucks same kuwei it’s 4am”

[mir-katnip]

Pride Month days 9-13 🌈🏳️‍🌈

You’ll have to forgive me for not keeping up with my posts lots of crazy weirdness happening.

Like complete failure of the hybrid electrical system on the car we’ve only had for 17 days. Fighting with the buyers of River, and overnight work event. And while I’m keeping myself painfully busy, I’m still putting my best face forward.

6/9 - I ran several errands, lots of crazy drivers on the road. While leaving Trader Joe’s an older woman lost control of her cart. Heavy carts and high winds are a threat in this town. Noticing that she had a cane propped in her runaway cart, I raced out to grab the thing before any serious damage was caused. I made my way back to her and offered to help her out. I’ve never seen someone’s face light up at my offering to help, quite like hers did. She grasped on to my arm, pointed me in the direction of her car, and chewed my ear off for twenty minutes. All about how her husband usually helped her with the errands, but he “landed himself in the hospital.” She didn’t offer to expand on that, and I didn’t pry. I wound up giving her my phone number and told her to call if she needed someone who could dash to the store for her. She attempted to tip me, and I declined.

6/10 & 6/11 - overnight job in Santa Barbara. With the new boss, and K. I haven’t told y'all about K (Kirill) Kirill was born in Russia, when he was just a tot his parents moved them to the states. He is a very clever young man. Very forceful, but it makes him good at his job. What it doesn’t make him good at, is small talk. Nothing is small with K. (Get your mind out of the damned gutter ;-p) Kirill likes to play that he knows everything about everything… Unless it’s medical, then he comes to me.

We wind up having some very deep political, and philosophical debates. And of the things he had taught me, the best is not to judge. I can be over critical of somethings. Fashion choices I don’t understand, people’s complete disregard for the language they are speaking. And then some. The more I work with K, the easier it becomes to overlook those things. This weekend was full of odds and ends of things I’m usually judgemental about. And while our boss was keen to point out the “Oh holy shit… Look at that…” I found myself nodding and smiling a lot.

One woman came in with a poodle the side of a Great Dane. I’ve never been a fan of poodles. They’re not bad dogs, there’s no such thing… I just don’t understand how people find them attractive. Now the poor dog’s human was easily hid behind small groups of people at this event. But when she came into view, I heard the boss say loud enough that she might hear, “I guess it’s true when they say after a time people start to resemble their dogs. I had to casually stomp on his foot to get him to stfu. Warning: even if your boss is cool, correcting their behavior can get you in trouble.

I’m glad I didn’t say a word because our very pregnant neighboring vendor was this woman’s niece. She’s in the beginning stages of dementia, and the odd hairstyle choice wasn’t a choice at all. Jill (Our neighbor) came over while the boys were hitching the trailer or some other nonsense, and thanked me. “My aunt doesn’t have anyone to look out for her. If I didn’t pack her up and drag her out, she’d be a hermit. She hates feeling like she can’t control her own life, so I try not to push her on her appearance.” I was never so grateful that I kept my mouth shut, and tried to shut my boss’.

Saturday night was fun, of course. Boss had prepaid for three rooms at this dingy little motel. Turned out he only paid the deposit. The dude at the desk was grouchy and refused to let me have my room key unless I had a notarized statement from the card holder (company card)

So I had to wait for the boss to get there, and listened while he was told that they would not accept the company card because it wasn’t his name on the card. (Great) Poor guy pulled out his personal AmEx and paid the $492 bill with his own money. Then asked what we were doing for dinner. He wanted quick, easy, and cheap. I did I quick search and found a Taqueria within walking distance. And of course the boss wound up paying for dinner as well. (K just had to have a beer) I couldn’t handle the food for some reason, but the boys loved it and were happy.

Sunday morning check out was two hours before I was supposed to be at the event, so I decided to go hunting for breakfast. Found the cutest little hipster café, and wound up getting coffee and cronuts for myself and the boys. Nothing better than wide-eyed thank-yous for caffeine.

6/12 - While I was gone my father’s brand new Hyundai Ioniq had a system meltdown. Essentially the electrical system that makes the damned thing a hybrid, failed. This car has only been in our possession for 17 days. He got it safely to the dealership service center, who informed him that the service team were gone for the day, and they weren’t open on Sundays. They’d call Monday and tell him what they found.

In these three days, another Ioniq owner brought his car in for the exact same reason. We were told that they had to order parts from Korea, and didn’t know when they’d get in. But they offered to pay for a rental at our local Enterprise.

My mother and I went to Enterprise to pick up the rental, I helped her politely ask for a car with best mileage, since she was itching for a fight. Wound up with a Versa that ALSO had problems. (This saga will continue to this morning (Tuesday)

In the middle of this I’m still trying to figure out why my poor River who was purchased from me on Thursday is still sitting out there on the street. Turns out the guy who picks up the cars wanted to wait until he had another job up here. Did I do a good deed? Unless you count sitting in my mother’s car white knuckled fighting not to scream at her to slow the fuck down… Or letting my father drive my Prius to work - No, not really.

6/13 - My dad called home around 10 this morning to tell us that Hyundai called him. They had been ordered not to fix the two Ioniq failures until the Korean engineers could be sent out to look at them. This adds an indeterminate amount of time where he doesn’t have a working car. The dealership may be paying for the rental, but we’re paying for gas, and a $22/day insurance on a car that doesn’t get near the mileage he’s use to.

I have drastically cut my work hours, just so my dad can get to work using my car. Thankfully I’ve been promised that part of my insurance will be paid in recompense, as well as his share of the gas.

Had to go to a work meeting at the office (is it really worth it to drive for 2.5 hours to work less than two hours?)

On the drive home I pissed off every single person who found themselves behind me on the freeway.

Turns out I have a new anxiety, (I’m hoping it was just because of the whole New Moon thing.) Logically I know that if I drive the speed limit (or only up to 9 mph over to keep up with the flow of traffic) my car can handle the curves of the road. My brain did not get the message. At every curve I slowed down because for some unknown reason I just felt like I was going too fast to make the curves safely. So if you were on the CA I-405 this evening and a red Prius was pissing you off…. I am so very sorry. Really.

Maybe it doesn’t read like I’ve done much good these last five days, but I have been working to do good for my family’s sake as well as the sake of others around me.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Personal Update (Crossposted On My DeviantArt)

This Post On DeviantArt

First of all, I’m really sorry about my ten day hiatus. It turns out my flare up with my kidneys was actually a kidney infection from urinary reflux, which I had thought was just a kidney stone. Upon admission to the hospital for this problem, my joints flared up, rendering me unable to even use the bathroom without assistance of the nurses or my boyfriends (Sam, Lee, and Matthew).

On Tuesday the 4th, I learned from Sam going through news headlines online that Tumblr will be banning certain content and had a very bad panic attack that left me unable to communicate for nearly 24 hours and left me in a 72 hour psychiatric hold (as I go nonverbal and self-violent after panic attacks to process what's happened). Yeah, don't have a panic attack in the hospital, it's not fun when you rip out your IV in blind panic and nearly sever a vein and you're considered mentally unstable when you've got most of your ducks in a row.

On the 7th, my wonderful and helpful doctor (who I will refer to as Dr Richie in this post and possible future posts for anonymity and identity protection and stuff) also deemed this hospitalization (from the infection prompting a non-invasive surgery to fix the reflux yet again that will likely need to be redone again in another ten years, my panic attack, and joint pain flare) the final straw. He asked me if I required a mobility device, since deems walking with my sheer amount of joint pain on a daily basis unsafe and potentially harmful and wants to begin testing me for genetic predispositions after the new year starts, as I go on holiday vacation in another country and he wants to personally attend to my testing.

Due to internalized ableism, I persisted further against my joint pain and continued trying to walk so as to not ‘succumb’ to being reliant to a cane or wheelchair. However, due to this, my joints only felt worse, bringing me to pretty much beg Dr. Richie to use 'a cane, a walker, a wheelchair, anything, just make it stop'. Dr. Richie told me to use any kind of cheapo manual wheelchair until roughly around the first of January just before testing begins, because he canhave me fitted for on if I need one after testing.

Secondly, as it is now, I’m recovering from this very traumatic hospital stay and will be building up my Twitter, Discord, AO3, DeviantArt and Facebook so that I will still have social contact with the friends I’ve made on this platform. Links to them are as follows:

Twitter: @PrincessOfDeath <- yeah...I made this in 2015...I was one depressing 18 year old. But it was a given because of the actual depression, though I'm still pretty much goth. I deleted the depressing tweets that took up most (okay all) of the tweets I made there. But I plan to tweet some stuff there hopefully.

Discord: https://discord.gg/pkhdYuF <- for chatting with my friends from Tumblr.

AO3: snowerogers <- obviously. My stories go here. Y'all know the link.

DeviantArt: Thorki103  <-Though, Ignore the name. I made it a long time ago and I don’t wanna have to pay to be able to change it.

Instagram: Kizyuki_Ennike_Devin <-I’m not very active here but I plan to be hopefully, probably just gonna be a bunch of cat pics and aesthetics and stuff.

Facebook: Cece Rogers <-okay, I was already in the process of being active on here already, aka get it up and running and putting in a few personal details, but this gives me incentive to keep trying, though it's really probably just gonna be my reaction posts and stuff.

Thirdly, a great thank you to all my followers who have been so patient with me. I fully expected to return to hate mail and unfollows for a solid three days (anxiety/stress induced fear, not a you guys thing, my brain has that irrational fear). You guys are great and I value you all.